#i'll never forgive oliver | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

manicpixiefelix · 8 months

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he wanted to be in love (but you got in the way)

{ One-Shot for head, heart, hand. }

Summary: When Oliver's lies are revealed to you and Felix, you have a much better time understanding his reasoning for it all, and Oliver convinces you to help talk Felix around into hopefully forgiving him. Felix, however, just grows more frustrated as it appears that you've very quickly moved on from the betray, and are urging him to do so too. Meanwhile, Oliver has come to realise that no matter the outcome, Felix will never really want anyone else if he has you by his side.

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.

Warnings: death (YOU DIE IN THIS ONE), murder via overdose, oliver's birthday party situation, oliver being incredibly manipulative, reader and felix arguing a lot, felix being a bit of a dick, angst with an unhappy ending, toxic felix/oliver endgame, heavy drinking and drug use

{ now with an epilogue }

A/N: 6267 words. ooft ouch ooft my heart. i dont like reader & fi fighting and this whole thing fucked me up bigtime. like bigtime bigtime. big angst, please heed the warnings. what do you think about this one? i like it even if it made me cryyyy

TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

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"Please," Oliver's lip trembles when he grabs your sleeve. He doesn't try and chase Felix after you all get back from the disastrous trip to his parents' house, perhaps part of him knew he wouldn't get through to him in this state, so he latches on to you instead, "you- you know," and even just the helpless sense of desire in his voice is familiar to you, "I just wanted to be his friend, be your friend; be close to you both -" Oliver's fidgeting with your sleeve and your heart's breaking for him, despite the betrayal of his lies.

"Ollie-" you sighed, but he took both your hands in his, tears gathering in the beautiful blue eyes you've come to care so deeply about in the past year.

"I never meant any harm," he insists. His hands are shaking.

"I know, Ollie," you finally concede, giving his hands a gentle squeeze.

"He won't listen to me- won't believe me; please, please, I need you to believe me, I need Felix -" and though he can't seem to finish the request, it's enough. The lies he's told, what they mean for the friendship you've all forged, it makes you feel more than a little queasy, but you think you understand him. At least better than Felix would in this moment.

"I'll try," though your tone doesn't inspire confidence, "just give him space, give him time -"

"I don't have time," Oliver croaks out weakly, gave dropping to the floor, "he'll throw me out tomorrow and never look at me again," this time, when his grip on your hands tightens, it becomes almost painful, face scrunching up as if dreading the tears he was about to shed, the things he was about to say; "and even if you don't hate me the way he does, I'll be losing you too."

Your silence speaks volumes. You hate that he's right.

"You know you're the only hope I've got left." Oliver's nails dig into your skin, but your hands don't shake.

"I will try, that's all I can do."

By the time you get to your room, Felix is already cutting up lines of coke with a delicate little razor from one of the various stashes you and the other wards of the Saltburn Estate had hidden throughout the building over the years. He doesn't look up when you enter, quietly, and furiously focused on the task at hand, cross-legged in the middle of your bed.

Sitting behind him, you lean in to press your forehead between his shoulders, sighing deeply.

"Yeah," Felix mumbles, "it's a bit like that, isn't it?"

Squeezing your eyes closed, all you can see is the love and desperation in OIiver's eyes as he'd held you back, begged for your understanding, forgiveness, friendship -

"You never loved someone so much you'd do anything to keep them around?" You asked softly, and feel Felix go still, "you never lied about your family because you were worried about how people would react if they knew the truth?" The more you consider, the less anger you feel towards what Oliver had done.

"You're different," Felix's voice is carefully neutral. There's a pause, a snort, a line of white powder going up his nose, "you didn't pretend that your dad died just to get sympathy out of me," he points out, already picking at the threads of similarity that you'd laid before him in hopes of softening the betrayal he felt so strongly.

Then he's moving again, doing things you're still not sure of, forehead still pressed to the fabric of his shirt between his shoulders. Sighing, louder this time, you go to say something more, to try and argue your case further, but Felix cuts you off. It's the sharpest he's ever been with you, you think, practically orders you not to talk about this anymore.

Then, he shifts, he reaches for you behind himself, and you move with him, without prompting. Felix leans back, and you move to his side, allow yourself to settle your head on his chest, looking up at him. One hand loosely draped over you, Felix tucks his other behind his head, eyes closed; even if they were open, he wouldn't be looking at you.

"Just shut up about Ollie, just shut up -" his tone is much softer now, but his words still bite more than you're used to, "I don't want to hear anything about fucking Oliver Quick right now." There's a nausea twisting in your gut that you're unfamiliar with, heavy and upsetting, that you somehow know has everything to do with Felix's tone. Part of you feels so embarrassed for even feeling like this, for being so wrapped up in pleasing him that even the slightest hint of disapproval for the first time in years has you so viscerally uncomfortable.

The other part of you ducks your gaze, and curls up against his side, obedient.

"Sure, Fi."

A long silence, softened only by Felix's deep breathing for several long moments before you finally feel him relax.

"I love you," it sounds almost like an apology. You wonder if he knows how to do that. Still, the nausea in your gut immediately begins to clear. This time, when you close your eyes, you try to just be present in the moment for what it is, Felix's arm around you, his steady heartbeat warm beneath your ear; you can find contentment here if you tried.

Much to your chagrin, Felix's mood and feelings of betrayal also meant he was no longer interested in the full costume you'd put together for him for Oliver's birthday party. He's well aware his mother would be appalled if he just showed up in jeans and a shirt, so he reluctantly pulls on the wings you'd spray painted up on the roof a few days before.

"I put time into this, Fi," you pleaded softly, looking at the rest of the costume you'd put together hanging sadly, untouched in his wardrobe.

"Maybe I just want to save it for a happy occasion," Felix refused to even sit down at the dresser, despite where you'd neatly set out both of your accessories for the night. He doesn't even spare the various, gold accoutrements that you'd curated for his costume a second glance, simply fusses with his hair in a way that won't even last.

"You're being ridiculous about this," you finally voice, unable to stop yourself, "he's still Our Oliver, his family doesn't change that -"

Felix goes still in the mirror, expression displeased when he meets your eyes in the reflection. Nausea again. You never want him to look at you like this ever again; you half want to apologise already.

"I don't care about his family, I care about how I don't know if I can believe anything he says! He lied to you, to me, he was clearly lying to his family, considering they have no idea he'd be nothing but a fucking joke at uni if it wasn't for me!" The outburst blindsides you, it seems to even blindside Felix, who has to take a few moments to compose himself before he can look you in the eyes again. Softly, that look of betrayal is turned upon you, "how can you be okay with that?"

A million answers blow through your mind - love, compartmentalisation, hypocrisy - but none feel right. There's no way for you to justify this to Felix, at least, not one that would make him happy, make him understand.

"Our Oliver-" but as he's standing, he cuts himself off, shaking his head, "Your Oliver -" but the words get stuck in his throat. After a beat, he scrubs his face over his hands, "I just don't understand," far calmer, he lets out a deep breath and continues, "how you got over this so fast," but before you can answer, his eyes open, and there's no fire, nor fury, just hurt; "and I need you right now, but not if you're going to be like this."

Oh, you're going to be sick.

It's apologies that spew out of you, nervous, still only half ready, and regretting every word that made Felix look at you like that. He tries awkwardly to tell you that it's not that bad, that he just wishes it felt like you were on his team. Insisting that you are gets you a weak smile from your best friend, but he still leaves seeming unconvinced.

There are voices outside, on the grounds. The party has begun, the sun will be set soon.

Half of your costume hangs up beside Felix's, your elegant, green gossamer robe shining next to the matching, gold gossamer pirate shirt that you had made for Felix. Neither leave the wardrobe, and perhaps you are underdressed in what was basically a set of incredibly ornate, bejewelled, and bedazzled lingerie, and boots, but you couldn't even bring yourself to care.

Perhaps, you consider, if Felix had blown up before you'd gotten this much on, you'd be as dressed down as he was for the event.

Before you leave, however, you go to double check yourself in the mirror, and don't think to knock. Oliver catches sight of you in the mirror before you properly realise he's there. Both freeze, both deer trapped in each other's proverbial headlights. Both with red-rimmed eyes. You wonder if he knows, if he waited with baited breath and an ear pressed to the bedroom door as Felix tore him down and you immediately gave him up to keep your best friend happy.

"You look like a dream," Oliver's voice is hoarse, and he turns to properly face you, to give your costume a generous look over, "merry wanderer of the night," he offers, meeting your gaze again. The line, pulled straight from the play upon which the whole night was based, was one you'd gleefully recounted to him when you told him you would be going as Puck.

There's a slight, sad smile on his lips, a shyness to the way he leans against the counter, but none of the awkwardness he carries around others. There, in his boxers alone, you realise how vulnerable he truly is in this moment, the moment you've so callously interrupted. But Oliver doesn't call you out, nor does he shy away from your gaze.

All words have escaped you in this moment, however. Even the idea of Felix's reaction to his moment makes you feel ill, but part of your heart still breaks for Oliver, for this boy so overwhelmed with love that he would do anything for it.

"I can go," Oliver says softly, apologetically, when you seem frozen even still. It breaks you out, however, and you shake your head vigorously.

"No, its okay Ollie."

"Your," he says slowly, pointedly, "Ollie." He'd heard. Fuck; how much? "I heard all of it," he admits slowly, approaching you. This time, you are the wild animal, cornered in the bathroom. Oliver doesn't look at you like prey, he doesn't approach you like a predator; he doesn't want to spook you, "I didn't mean to get between you and Felix," his voice is soft, and he sniffles a little, but tries to smile through it, "ever; back at Oxford, over Summer, ever."

But you can't bring yourself to look at him. Gently, you loop a finger through the fine, silver chain around his throat, keeping your gaze focused on it without ever tugging it too hard.

"I'm trying," you whisper, voice watery despite your best effort, tears gathering in your eyes, "but I -"

Oliver pulls you into a hug as the damn finally bursts, and the tension, the pressure of the day that had already been pressing down upon you finally breaks. Oliver lets you cry on his shoulder, petting your hair gently.

"But you're a good dog," he murmured as he pressed a kiss to your temple, and you're too distraught to catch the echoes of resentment in his tone.

"It's all I know how to be!"

"I know, pet, I know."

Once you've calmed down, you apologise for your outburst, for having him comfort you at a time like this. There's something different about him, about his smile, the look in his eyes, as he just assures you that it's fine, that he's going to still try and enjoy his night.

After cleaning yourself up and fixing your makeup, finally you make it downstairs. There's more people on the first floor than you'd been expecting, so you have to worm your way through the crowd to search for Felix.

"My gentle puck, come hither!" Felix voice rises through the crowd; if your ears could prick up, they probably would. Just the brightness in his voice lifts you from your melancholy, and when you finally reach him you're beaming.

And he's already drunk.

Which you would like to be too. As if anticipating your requests, he puts two fruity looking drinks in your hands, and picks up another two with a wide smile. You trot along behind him as he cuts a path through the crowd towards the sofas where your friends from Oxford had found themselves. A cheer rises when they see you, all glad for your company, all desperate to hear how your Summer had been so far.

At first, you're simply sitting on the arm of the sofa, beside Felix, bright and animatedly engaging in conversation with the others. Felix finishes his first drink and his arm goes around India, tucked up against his other side, but as soon as his second drink is finished, and you've leaned across him to put your own empty cup on the coffee table between you all, he uses it as an excuse to pull you into his lap.

"Felix," India says when she means what the fuck are you playing at right now? Felix gives a surprisingly cold smile, his hand slipping from her shoulder, moving lower to grip her side rather possessively. You simply wait, ready to move at a moment's notice.

"What?" There's something biting in Felix's voice, something that sounds so uncharacteristically mean as he raises his voice enough for the group to hear, "aren't you all still deluding yourselves about me and Y/N? Don't you still think we're related - or whatever it was Farleigh told you all?" Immediately the tension in your little circle of friends spikes. Felix's hand is practically between your thighs, gripping your thigh like he owns you. In any other circumstance you'd probably enjoy this, but every single one of your friends is suddenly looking at you like they'd never seen you before.

"You hot people disgust me," India finally breaks the tension flippantly, and everyone else cackles with laughter. Felix does actually grin at her, leaning in to kiss her cheek.

"No we don't," he teases gently, and India tries to continue playing at being annoyed, by insisting that she needs something stronger than the bar could offer. As she stands, she looks back, holding out her hands to you and Felix.

"Come on, disgusting hot people; I know you're both already high and probably want some more."

"Knew there was a reason I liked you, India," you grinned, glad to have escaped that encounter without much of a mental or physical scratch, though Felix does make a point of grabbing your ass as you stand, even with India holding his other hand.

However you're another line deep in the bathroom, with India, Felix, and two of the others who'd followed along, when that good mood evaporates. Oliver stands in the door, waiting, watching; you're the first to notice him, to catch his gaze properly, but all he does is clear his throat. Felix looks to him when Oliver finally calls his name, but pointedly acts like he doesn't in the next moment.

"Can I, er, talk to you for one second?" Oliver asks faintly, but is met with no response. Instead of looking at Oliver, Felix momentarily flicks a frustrated gaze at you, like he feels your sudden discomfort and fidgeting is a personal betrayal, "you can't ignore me forever," Oliver tries, but Felix gives him a cold smile.

"I can try."

"Fi," you hissed, but all you get is another glare.

"Felix, we need to talk," Oliver was begging now, but he turned his attention to you, pleading, "can you get him to please listen to me, just for a moment -" but his words have your heart freezing in your chest. You can't even stutter Felix's name out before he's dismissing you both.

"I tried being nice about this," Felix huffed, "but if you're still insisting on playing Devil's Advocate for him, the both of you can fuck off and go bother the rest of the party." He relights his cigarette, but he doesn't even look at you once. One more time you try, reaching out, apology on your tongue, but he shrugs you off and finally gives a cutting look, "no I told you, okay? You're over it; fucking great for you. I'm not, and I don't have to be, so piss off and be over it away from me."

You stand, momentarily unsteady on your feet before you regain your balance and head to the door. Everything in your mind is a mess of emotions. The drugs and alcohol are sending you into overdrive, though neither is the reason you're feeling so sick. Still, while you know where Felix is coming from, one look at Oliver as you reach the door and you can't help but stop. Turning back, you hope Felix can read how damn hurt you are by all this;

"I'm not a monster for having a heart, Felix."

And you take some small victory from the surprise in his eyes. Before he can respond, however, you grab Oliver's hand and lead him away.

With another two fruity drinks, you and Oliver sit on the edge of the fountain outside, watching the revelry, mirroring each other's weary slump.

"How are you finding your birthday party?" You asked lamely after a few minutes. Oliver took a few moments to deliberate, while you sipped down your drink quite quickly.

"Don't know anyone," he says mildly, "and the people I do know think I'm a joke -" right, he'd heard Felix's earlier comments about the group from Oxford's feelings, "and I was aware kind of from the start of knowing youse," he casts his gaze to you now, turning to you, eyes meeting yours, "that my two best friends were bonded like those cats at the shelter, the kind you can't separate from each other or they'll cry all day and refuse to eat until you put them back together," the smile he gives you is humourless, and doesn't even reach his eyes, "but one hates me and the other has no spine," he shrugged like he hadn't just insulted you, going back to people-watching, "so I don't think it'll go down as my best birthday ever."

"I have a spine," you scowled, as if straightening your posture proved his point at all.

"Why? You don't need it," still as mild as before, Oliver takes a long, loud sip of his drink, "you've got Felix."

"I'm trying to help you, Oliver, I swear -"

"You don't know how to stand up for yourself, Y/N," this time, the look that he gives you is simply pitying, "I'm sorry I asked you to try and stand up for me." The words ache like a punch to the gut, "you're not even trying to help me for me, or for how much you supposedly love me; you love that I love Felix."

"Oliver, I love you!" You insisted through angry tears and gritted teeth, "how your mind works, how you figure things out, the books you like, the way you're constantly watching and cataloguing and remembering, it shows you care about the world around you and the people in it. I love that you're obsessive and ambitious and that you can be ruthless -" it comes out messy and unrehearsed, but you slowly see the shock and genuine awe on Oliver's face as he comes to terms with the fact that you're being genuine. For the first time all evening, you think you see guilt in his eyes. It's gone too fast, Oliver turning away.

"I love you too," he says gently, following it carefully with, "but we both know who you crawl into bed with at the end of every night." Then, under his breath, sounding so forlorn, "do not separate."

"Oliver-" but he stands, stretches, and finishes off his beer.

"He's probably already missing you, waiting to forgive you," he puts his empty beer bottle down on the edge of the fountain, and for just a moment, he reaches out and gently holds your face. Nothing is said, but there's endless, unreadable emotions in his eyes as he gazes into yours.

Then he's gone.

Making your way back to the estate itself, you forgo looking for Felix, half ashamed of the idea that Oliver was right, and instead slip beneath the velvet rope that cordoned off the upper floors of the house. Back in your bedroom, the stash of coke Felix had raided before the party was still reasonably well stocked, and the bottle of bourbon that you'd stashed in the broken piano last Christmas was thankfully untouched. There was something seriously sad, you think to yourself, about drinking and snorting alone in your room, upstairs from a party where you know your friends are all doing it too. But you don't want to see them. Don't want to see anyone.

The remainder of yours and Felix's matching outfits taunt you silently from the closet door on which they hang. They're beautiful and vapid and cold; you hate them.

"Oh, sorry, didn't realise you were -" it's Felix at the door - of course it is, who else would it be? - who startles you out of your thoughts. There's no frustration in his eyes anymore, no anger, just surprise. His gaze roams over you, from the drugs balanced on your knee to the half-full bottle cradled in your lap, "you okay?" Oliver's right, of course. Oliver's right about a lot of things.

"Yeah," you sniffle, taking another swig of the drink, "what did you need?"

"Think they're gonna sing happy birthday to Ollie soon," Felix leans against the doorframe. You share in an awkward silence for a long moment.

"That why you're here?"

"I came up to see if there was any of that coke left from before," he says, looking at the mirror on your knee and the still mostly full baggie on the bed next to you. Then, he gives a sheepish little grin, "yeah," he admits.

"We should be down there," you say without thinking. Felix's expression falls, and he kicks at the doorframe for a moment, "you do care about his family," spills from you; you're not even sure from where. Felix's expression grows darker.

"Why are you so insistent about doing this?"

"Because you love him, Felix," you remind him firmly, before putting down the bottle and rolling up the already significantly curved bill beside you, "and he loves you, and you know that," picking up the mirror, you make short work of the last line to avoid looking at Felix. Dragging your finger across the glass, you pick up the last of the residue, wiping it on your gums. Your hands remain busy as you pack the remainder of it all into the little, wooden box it was kept in, as you spoke, "you hate the parts of you he figured out, the buttons he learned how to push; Oliver," you snapped the box shut, looking up at him, "was too good to be true, and that's why you're hurt; you're scared it's like Eddie all over again, too good to be true -"

"You shut up about Eddie -" Felix warned, but you stood, box in hand, approaching him with a fierce, intoxicated determination.

"Eddie was never too good, you were just in love! Eddie wasn't even loyal!" You cried, shoving him with the box, letting out a desperate sentiment that you'd let fester in the darkest part of your heart for over a year, "he was never going to be loyal! He never loved you as much as you loved him! Never! And you were so blinded by how happy he seemed to be with this 'better life' you were offering him, you could never bloody see it -"

"You are drunk and high," Felix spits at you, clearly holding himself back from tears.

"But all I ever want is you to be happy," hanging your head, you push the box into his grip and stumble back to the bed, searching for the bottle, "why can't you trust me about this?"

"Oliver fucking lie to me, betrayed me -"

"Us!" You shouted, unscrewing the lid with vigour, "to keep you in his life. You just don't like what the lies he used to keep you around say about you." And with that you furiously started chugging more of the drink.

"I'm done with you," Felix's voice is weak, hands coming up to cover his face. Lowering the bottle, all you can do is stare at him. It's like you've been splashed with ice water.

"Fi -"

"I need space; I need you out of my room for the rest of Summer."

"Fi, please -"

"I thought you were fucking better than this!" He snapped, finally stalking away, while you were too disorientated to even go after him.

The first thing you manage to do is stumble to the bathroom and throw your guts up into the sink. Physically you feel a bit better, but the nausea you can now tell is psychological. Downstairs, though you don't know how much time has passed, the house has transformed itself into a rave. Too bright. Too hot. Too sticky. You think you catch sight of Ollie, but your gaze quickly moves to Felix, silhouetted by neon and haze, looking like an angel. Beside him, India sparkles and giggles and her hands are all over him. You want him to be happy, you don't want to interrupt but you have to -

Someone catches you before you faceplant in the middle of the dancefloor, and it turns out it is Oliver.

"You look like a bit of a mess," he says, aiming for a light, joking tone, but it almost sets you off. Seeing you about to start crying, Oliver starts to panic, and suggests the two of you get some air. Though you want to protest, you see Felix and India, hand in hand, making their way to the side doors. Oliver, champagne in one hand, has his other arm under yours, supporting you as the two of you made your way out too.

The night air is cool, a sharp contrast from inside, so sharp it almost stings.

"I should'a kept my mouth shut," you whimpered, "I didn't need a spine, why did I listen to you?" Oliver is simply quiet, listening to you ramble, getting the gist of what had happened between you and Felix as you slowly made your way to the maze.

"I don't wanna go in," you whispered at the entrance, looking down it's tall, green corridor. Oliver looked at you strangely.

"Worried you'll get lost?"

"I could never get lost, Felix made sure of that plenty of times." Carefully, you extract yourself from Oliver, sitting cross-legged by the entrance of the maze, looking out over the rest of Saltburn with your back to the hedges; Oliver watches you curiously, "I can wait for Fi here."

"I can't wait," Oliver finally says, "I don't have the time. I have to try."

You, surprisingly serene and content with your decision, more at peace than you'd been during the entire walk over, make no attempt to stop him. You just tell him you'll be here when he gets back. This time you genuinely smile, insisting he go in without you.

"I'll be here, I promise; I'll wait."

So he goes, and you listen to his footsteps retreating. After a few minutes, however, he returns.

"I think you need this more than I do," and he hands you the bottle of champagne he'd been carrying. Turns out there's only really a quarter of the bottle left, but at least you think it won't be enough to make you sick again.

As frustrated as Felix could get, he's never not forgiven you. That's all you can think about as you finish off the bottle.

You would apologise. You would make it up to him. You could make this better again.

Except...

Hang on, wait, who was that who just ran out of the maze? Someone ran out of the maze? You were pretty sure someone did anyways... maybe India, if Oliver had confronted -

Oliver is the second to escape the maze. Instead of heading directly back, he waits, unseen for Felix to leave, observing the way he'd stumble out, not even glancing around enough to see you on the ground in the shadow of the maze itself. Once he was sure he was alone, Oliver crept over to your catatonic body, mouth agape, bottle still clutched but empty in one hand. Still breathing, though it was shallow, he checked your pulse only to feel a heartrate like a humming bird. If he called out now, Felix could hear him, could get help, could save your life.

But Felix would want for nothing as long as he had you by his side.

When you start convulsing, Oliver leaps away, startled. But he watches, and remains quiet. He takes the bottle, and just for a moment presses his forehead to yours.

"I'm sorry," it almost gets caught in his throat, "I loved you, I promise I did."

And he leaves.

Oliver wakes to a knock on the door. While Felix doesn't exactly seem happy to see him, it appears he has bigger things to worry about.

"Is Y/N in here?" He cuts right to the chase; there's dark circles under his eyes.

"Have you gotten any sleep?" Oliver yawns. Felix shifts his weight from one foot to the other.

"I've checked literally every other room in this house," ignoring him, Felix explains himself, "I told them last night I wanted them to stay somewhere else, but I didn't mean it," he frowns, peering around Oliver as best he could, trying to see for himself. Oliver, who already knew this, but still played dumb, went wide-eyed.

"You didn't talk to them last night?"

"I was talking to them a lot last night -"

"They were waiting outside the maze for you; they were there when I left."

Oliver's never seen Felix run so fast.

It takes Duncan informing the rest of the family over breakfast that a gardener has spotted Felix sat by the edge of the maze for the past hour, to clear up his whereabouts.

"And have you heard from Y/N?" Elspeth adds, though Venetia buts in.

"Probably at the maze with Felix," she rolls her eyes; Oliver looks at his eggs, his runny, sickening eggs, and keeps his mouth shut. Elspeth sighs and requests someone go and collect them, tell them that lunch is ready, and promptly directs a smile at Oliver, asking how he'd enjoyed his birthday.

Oliver's halfway through an awkward thanks, assuring her it was grand, before Duncan re-enters. For the first time since Oliver first laid eyes on him, he looks genuinely shaken.

"I, uh, I do apologise," his words keep getting caught, and he can't seem to focus his gaze for too long, "I have some tragic news; Captain Y/N has passed away."

The world stops.

Felix Catton sits in the shadow of the hedge maze with you, his best friend, the love of his life, dead in his arms.

"I thought you were fucking better than this!"

His last words to you echo endlessly in his head as he cradles you to him. He'd found you slumped over at a painful angle, clearly having been sitting cross-legged on the grass, waiting, just as Oliver had said, still wearing part of the outfit you'd prepared. You looked so cold, so he'd wrapped you up in the robe he'd been wearing, maroon; you'd always said it was your favourite of his, but you'd never wear it, said it looked better on him.

"Can't believe I made you wait," it wasn't the first time he'd muttered it since finding you, "I'm so sorry, I won't do it again," he assured, and leaned in, pressing his forehead to your cold shoulder and collarbone, "and I didn't mean it about needing space from you; I couldn't even do it for one night, I got so lonely I spent the entire night searching all hundred and bloody something rooms we have, for you."

"Felix?" Venetia's voice is the first one he's heard since Oliver's, and it shakes, "Feef?" And maybe it's the way he can tell she's started crying, or the nickname he hasn't heard since he was six, but it all hits him at once. Finally he starts to cry, the shock giving way to anguish as Venetia drapes herself over him at the sight of you. Farleigh goes into shock, silent, falling to his knees before he brings his head down too, completely shutting down.

Oliver doesn't know how to react, doesn't know if he can. He stands back from the others, back from even James and Elspeth, silent. He did what he had to do. It takes him a long time to realise he's even started crying too.

Elspeth and Sir James try to keep up a sense of normalcy around the house, but barely anyone is able to keep up. Farleigh and Venetia show up and barely speak, Oliver can't bring himself to even look at anyone at the dining table, and Felix hasn't shown up for three days straight. He's been locked in his room, and none of them blame him.

None of the others know that he comes out at night. Well, he opens the door during the day since the staff have started leaving plates of food for him at his mother's request. But during the night, Felix leaves his room to crawl into Oliver's bed. Oliver never makes comments, but he always makes room, and Felix still hasn't kicked him out of the house. Small steps to victory.

"All those lies, all that shit you told us, you did it because you'd do anything to keep us around," on the third night, Felix speaks into the darkness, back to Oliver under the expensive sheets.

"To keep you around," Oliver corrected quietly, "I knew as long as I had you around, I would have them too." After a few moments, he could hear Felix start to sniffle. Carefully, testing his luck, Oliver shuffled around to face Felix. Wriggling closer, he draped an arm over Felix's chest and pulled him close, pressing himself against Felix's back. In the moment, Felix takes Oliver's hand and laces their fingers together.

"They always loved you, Felix; I never saw anything like it."

Small steps to victory.

At your funeral, Felix finally sees your parents. He wonders if looking at them is anything like looking at the idea of who you would have grown into. He doesn't think so; their expressions are so cold beneath their performance of grief.

They do, however, seek him out, ask his name, and hand him a framed photo. They say they won't be needed it anymore. It's you and Felix beneath the Eiffel Tower, arms around each other, each of you using your free hand to together form a heart between you, laughing at something just off camera. Oliver makes a disdainful remark about your parents, but slips his hand in Felix's, and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

Elspeth asks if Felix wants to keep the photo in his room, and when he remarks that he doesn't know, she suggests it gets placed with the other family photos over the fireplace in the television room. It fits in perfectly.

"I love you," Felix mumbles in the dead of night, pressed up along Oliver's back, lips in his hair, arm around him, "like proper love you." Oliver is quiet, "the kind of love I've been wanting to tell you for a while, but now I'm terrified that the reasons I love you aren't even real."

It's been a few weeks, he's intergraded back into life at home, but has taken a leave of absence from Oxford. As has Oliver. He still hasn't left Saltburn, he wonders if he ever will, if he ever has to.

"What parts?" Oliver said, voice barely more than a whisper, "I'll never lie to you again; I want you to know the truth of me." There's a rush of electricity, his fingers and toes feel all tingly; he doesn't want to sound too enthusiastic, but can't help but feel a giddy rush.

"I like how you can figure heaps of stuff out, but," Felix hesitates and hums, "I don't think I like what you figured out about me," he admits.

"I'll never bring that up again," Oliver reassures him, but Felix just hums once more, "and I figured out more stuff about you, good stuff; I figured out what made me love you too."

Felix presses a kiss to the back of his head. He doesn't smile, but that's to be expected nowadays. Felix doesn't really smile a lot anymore.

But Oliver takes it for what it is; his victory.

{ epilogue }

#felix catton x reader x oliver quick #saltburn x reader #felix catton x reader #saltburn imagine #felix catton imagine #felix catton x you #oliver quick x reader #felix catton x y/n #oliver quick imagine #oliver quick x you #oliver quick x y/n #head heart hand fic #manic writer

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the-modern-typewriter · 1 year

Text

"You promised me that - if I came home - you'd stop this." The protagonist swallowed. "I'm here. I'm home."

It had been so nice to come home. They should have known there was a catch. More of a catch.

The antagonist looked at them, for a moment. "You're far too naïve for this world, kid." For all the sharp edges of the words, the tone and the expression were fond. "You know that?"

Cold seeped into the growing pit in the protagonist's gut. Their jaw clenched. "Not so naïve that I couldn't leave again."

"And how far do you think you'd get?"

"You promised."

The antagonist sighed; the twist of their mouth even seemed like a genuinely regretful thing. "Look, kid."

"Stop calling me that. You're not that much older than me."

"I practically raised you. You never used to mind."

"And I used to think that you could be trusted! That when they called you a monster, it wasn't who you were. Not like that. But you-"

"-I would do anything to save what I love, as would you."

The protagonist's jaw clicked shut.

"Saviours are well liked by the people they save, for the most part," the antagonist continued. "But there are plenty of other people who will look at a hero and call them a monster because they want to save the wrong thing - or what people consider the wrong thing - or because they do it in the wrong way." The antagonist turned their gaze away, out of their window, to the world spread below them. Their voice was soft. "If they call me a monster they will do the same to you soon enough. We're the same. "

"I'm helping people!"

"And I'm helping my people," the antagonist said, with a ruthless, relentless calm; eyes dark. "And we'd both spill blood for that cause, wouldn't we?"

The protagonist folded their arms across their chest. "That doesn't mean this ends in blood."

"Most people don't change the world kindly."

"So we give up on kindness altogether?"

"This is me being kind to you."

"Your kindness sucks."

"I know that's how you currently feel."

"It's how I'll always feel." The protagonist's voice was not gentle or soft at all, but they were distantly aware that it had the same ruthlessness, the same relentless and unforgiving calm. "You're a traitor and a liar and I really hoped you would have taken this olive branch when I offered it. It might have saved you. Because I-" Some of their calm finally faltered.

The antagonist's lip quirked.

"You would destroy what you love for what you think is right," the antagonist said. "You would destroy me. I know."

The protagonist's mouth dried.

Their eyes met.

"I know you, kid." The antagonist left the window. They moved past the protagonist towards the tower door, pausing only to give the back of the protagonist's neck a familiar squeeze. "What the hell do you think I'm saving you from? We both know you never needed saving from me."

The protagonist closed their eyes. All the nerves, all the fumbling, always only that truth after all.

"Will you forgive me?" they asked, softly.

"You're a traitor and a liar and I really hoped you would have taken this olive branch when I offered it," the antagonist murmured. They dropped their hand. "Of course I will."

Then, they were gone, and the protagonist and their wildly thumping heart were alone.

#heroes and villains #villains and heroes #story #creative writing #writing #heroes #villains #antagonist and protagonist #protagonist and antagonist #ficlet #betrayal #dialogue

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sanaexus · 3 months

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please please please- "this better be a fucking joke"

keeping your phone back in your pocket, you try to think of an solution which isn't the easiest thing to do when your ex is breathing down on your neck. but hey! positive thoughts only right? he didn't recognize you yet, which made sense considering the last time he saw you, you probably looked like an oompa loompa with a haircut that could rival michael kaisers's, but that was in the past (right?)

suddenly something clicked, if he didn't recognize you, you could just leave without being noticed and feeling bad. so that's exactly you tried, until a voice called out to you.

"leaving so soon?" the heterochromatic called out.

"just like you did every time?" oh. OH. you weren't supposed to say that, you didn't even realise you said that.

he let out a chuckle, "credit where credits due, i was a pretty stupid kid."

"pretty is bit of an understatement no?"

"debatable, i guess i own an explanation huh?"

"you kinda sorta definately do."

"well should we head out? not anywhere far away of course, just not with much people around"

"yeah alright" is all you said before you follow him to some corner of the arcade, looking around you spot a certain blue-headed man, an unconscious smile graced your lips, which didn't go unnoticed by the man beside you.

"who's got you smiling like that?"

"can you shut up and get to the point?"

"yeah yeah, but before i do, just hear my side out i know it doesn't excuse what-"

"nothing's ever gonna excuse cheating ok no sorry continue"

"like i was saying before i was VERY rudely interrupted, i know no matter what i say, it won't justify what i did but that aside-"

suddenly you see a mop of light blue hair infront of you, T-posing for 'asserting dominance' "DON'T FEAR WHEN I AM HEAR-oh fuck wait am i interrupting something important?"

"hiori OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"gaslighting gatekeeping girlbossing of course" the man flipped his almost non existent hair and shaking some of that gyatt

"get out please get out oh my god why are you like this"

hiori before glaring at the purple headed-man, "this creature is staying?"

"yes now go, i'll call you when i need you okay?" you do a shoo-ing motion as hiori skips away.

"right uhm are they always like that..?"

"no, not really, now please for heavens sake stop stalling and explain yourself already"

"right so uh i'd like i was a very dumb high-schooler, and no doesn't excuse me cheating but i was a horny fuck, and you were always so busy i just couldn't do it anymore.."

"first of all you're still a horny fuck, and second why didn't you just end it then why did you have to resort to cheating..?" you were trying really hard not to cry but the voice crack probably gave you away, even just the thought of you not moving on from him nearly 2 years later, disgusted you.

"i don't know, i liked you i really did and i didn't wanna lose it but i didn't want to stay either, and i couldn't exactly explain myself, so i resorted to cheating." he explained, it was confusing if he really was feeling guilty and regretful.

"oh, uh i forgive you, ok no i don't but i've moved on from that, we were just kids and shit happens and i can't always hold it against you relationship goes both ways and so does the break up."

"i'm glad we got that cleared out wait you forgive me, so does that mean i can take you out on a date maybe?" he asked a bit hopeful

"oh my god aik-oliver you haven't changed at all, have you?"

"not aiku this time? you wound me, but is that a yes?"

"nope i still need some time to think uh how about you give me your number and i text you within this week if we can go out?"

"yeah that sounds nice." you take out your phone handing it to him as he types his number and saving it as "baby daddy"

"oh ew oliver ew!" you make fake gagging noises.

"hey! i'm not that disgusting...right?"

"i never said that, you're putting words in my mouth, but it was nice meeting again i'll see you around yeah?" and before you could reply you run off to find hiori and when you don't (big shocker) you figured you'd let the gc know (big mistake btw)

please please please ¡! - an isagi yoichi social media fic

synopsis modeling was fun, especially when you go to make friends and what happens when that exact friend goes to the same high school? the friendship of course continues into college. where you get your heart broken and the internet gets to know but then you meet a certain someone that makes you fall for them. so what happens then? chaos.

taglist is open¡! : @fairlyfuji , @semisutopia, @someprettyname , @csbnova , @ashlovelys , @chateaaa , @yeurisstuff , @starchivves , @m3gitsune ,@muffin-0 , @gojosexpiredcum , @bbmsxlene , @profesionalglazer

divider by @/xxbimbobunnyxx. all credits to her!

sorry guys no funfacts today 🙁 GUYS TRUST ISAGI WILL COME JS LET ME COOK PLS 🗣🗣💯💯🤬🤬😎😎💣💣🔥🔥‼‼💯💯🔛🔝

also I AM SO SORRY WHY IS THIS SO BAD WHY CAN'T I WRITE SHIT OMG I'M GONNA CRY also maybe double update bc i dont wanna fall off and seeing 99+ notifs makes me happy

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forestshadow-wolf · 9 months

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dancing and the dreaming by john Powell

That one scene from httyd 2 except it's soap ghost.

Ghost had never wanted to hurt dragons, he'd never thought they were hateful creatures. But then one of them broke into their house, and he feared tue worst for their daughter. But there was a moment, just one, and he realized it wasn't trying to hurt her.

Soap arrived still panicked and filled with adrenaline, he threw his axe at it without a second thought, moving more on instinct than intention. It wasn't his fault, and Ghost would never blame him.

But he knows Soap blames himself for the way the dragon truned tail and ran, but only after scooping Ghost up in its talons.

Surprisingly enough, the dragon didn't take him somewhere remote to eat him. No, it took him to some sort of... sanctuary, a place where the dragons lived. He wanted to go back, he wanted to make the dragon take him back. But then he thought that maybe not all dragons are liek this one, maybe she's safer with Soap on an island of vikings who are willing to do what needs to be done to protect without hesitation. So he stayed.

And years and years later. Nearly 2 decades, and he's saving a young lady from dragon hunters.

It's not until later, when he gets a closer look that he recognizes those heterochromatic blue and umber eyes, and the little beauty mark on the tip of her left ear that he can still remember kissing every night before bed, once upon a time ago.

And then he's gone off to find supper and when he comes back...

Soap. Standing there stock still, just staring at him. And he can't quite tell what it means, can't quite see what's behind the devastation in those eyes. It's been too long since he's seen Soap. Perhaps he'd know what was in those beautiful blue eyes if only he'd been there for all those years.

He looks good. Older, more grizzled, more tired. His beard's grown long, and braided. His hair, longer as well, but still the iconic short sides. And ghost thinks he falls in love all over again. But he left, he was taken and he chose to stay gone. And he's sure that soap must be furious with him. For leaving him alone with their daughter to take care of, and an entire village to run. For staying gone. And he says as much, shouts it.

And soap, ever the gentle soul, forgives him. Forgives him like he never blamed him, like he's never hated him. Like he loves him, like he still loves him.

He's still not sure what to think in the tense, too quiet atmosphere. It used to be so loud and lively, never a quiet moment. Not with soap around, at least. Except now it was.

He's getting water for the stew when he feels soap at his back. Humming a melody he'd long (not) forgotten. An olive branch. A peace offering.

I'll swim and sail on savage seas With ne'er a fear of drowning And gladly ride the waves of life If you will marry me No scorching sun nor freezing cold Will stop me on my journey, sorry If you will promise me your heart

He reaches for it, but he can't find his voice. He feels his gaze on him as it wavers, as soap looks at him for any sign of the past and gets nothing. Won't get anything with Ghost's back to him, he seems to realize it as his head fully sinks under the water.

And love...

And finally Ghost finds that handhold he was looking so desperately for. He throws out a life raft for him.

And love me for eternity My dearest one, my darling dear Your mighty words astound me But I've no need for mighty deeds When I feel your arms around me

And suddenly he's alive, and soap is letting out that beautiful laugh, that he's always loved.

But I would bring you rings of gold I'd even sing you poetry (oh, would you?) And I would keep you from all harm If you would stay beside me

And he can almost physically feel as something he didn't know was broken heals inside of him.

I have no use for rings of gold I care not for your poetry I only want your hand to hold

I only want you near me

And suddenly they're both laughing, and dancing. Just like old times, it's like he'd never left. Or maybe it is, but maybe it's okay, maybe it'll be okay.

To love and kiss to sweetly hold For the dancing and the dreaming Through all life's sorrows and delights I'll keep your laugh inside me I'll swim and sail a savage seas With ne'er a fear of drowning And gladly ride the waves so life And you will marry me

And all is right with the world. He has his husband and their daughter, and they have him. And they're happy and together and they have the most beautiful laughs that he never wants to not hear.

#For the Dancing and the Dreaming #httyd 2 #cod au #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #soapghost #ghostsoap #call of duty #cod #cod mw2 #el rambles

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gayofthefae · 1 month

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I'll say it. Mike's opportunity expired. "Hey, don't worry about it, okay? He'll come crawling back to you in no time, begging for forgiveness."

El is sad. That is an emotion you want to fix. She wonders if Mike is on his way back to her, we assume he is to - so did Max. That's why her sadness was good news: when Mike inevitably, obviously, shows up to apologize, she'll be open to it. But she checked. He wasn't on his way to her. In fact, he stated that he would not be because he did not think it was on him to fix. But it's not on El to either, and she knows this. So now she knows three things:

She's sad 2. Mike isn't going to fix it 3. If he isn't fixing it, her going back will just put her in the same situation she ended for a reason.

When typically, when we're sad like this, we don't just sit in it. We want to do something to solve it. There's only one remaining actionable solution to this feeling: move. on.

The writers included her IMMEDIATELY having reason to (giving us one too) which was a...choice to say the least.

El is bummed because she is reminded of her breakup's permanence. Max comforts her by saying "it's probably temporary anyways". She checks. Mike seems to say it isn't so long as she doesn't go back to him. We know that she doesn't owe him that and that the only way to get them back together is for him to apologize. So now we've established that their breakup is permanent, conceptually. For both us and, more importantly, for El.

Now El sees her breakup as permanent. She immediately starts playing games with Max and taking actions to, you guessed it, move on. She's laughing again. Notice how she didn't fix her sadness over Mike but she's happy anyways. Because she's caring less now that MIKE has given her permission to let go.

The next episode Mike DOES come "crawling back". He apologizes while they're prepping the sauna. It's ALREADY too late. She does not accept his apology. But she does miss him, so there's an olive branch. He accepts it but doesn't build on it towards getting back together. They just have a sort of truce again now.

A new spark - I love her - is ignited. Know why? I would argue argue the outcome would not be the same without it. What I'm saying is I would argue, and I kinda thought this on my first watch too, that they would have stayed broken up without that. I remember thinking "phew! Another actionable thing to get them together". There was one obstacle in their path before: him. That one didn't budge. I mean it kinda did to the point where they were both happy but establish "happy as friends" is kinda worse, so then you have to create a new obstacle and hope people don't notice it's not the same one and just go with the idea of "once he tells her he loves her, they'll get back together" to cover for the fact that when he fulfills/fulfilled the original goal, apologizing, they don't get back together.

"I love her". It's romanticized and she watches a lot of movies, but the truth is, it still doesn't solve the problems she had with him (as we see in season 4). They would have stayed broken up.

Because she still made no action to get back together with him. This was still on Mike. And he apologized in episode 7 but he missed his window because they didn't get back together until the stakes were now or never with the move.

Her telling him she loved him was her giving up on him saying it to her. That was not cute. Even in the scene itself, he does not take the opportunity and is avoidant. She almost leaves then stops herself. He makes a face, shaming himself for not saying it, but she - the one walking out the door - stops him. She calls out to him. This not "I wanted to tell you before I go". That would have been Mike's. This is "fine, I'll do it myself".

Mike missed his window. She started moving on as soon as she got that confirmation in the first scene of 3x03. 3x04's apology was disingenuous. 3x07's wasn't. That's a week he's taken to get to the original goal Max set in 3x03's first scene.

And the funny thing is, it wasn't a goal. That is a terrible end goal. It was an immediate solution to El's sadness that she employed. That is a smoothing things over thing to say. That is a quick band aid. She wanted a band aid. If Mike followed her onto the bus, she would have kicked him off. Instead, he waited a week to apologize, it was too late. He had a window in episode 3, and what was he doing for the entire episode? Spending time with Will. Waiting for El to call, yes, but still putting it on her and still, as usual, prioritizing Will as soon as it was asked of him. Not just when he was sad, honestly, the fact that he played in the first place should be reason enough. At least before they were brainstorming solutions. That's something.

While El was waiting for Mike, he was chasing after Will, so she stopped waiting. He came too late a day later and she didn't forgive him. She extended an olive branch because she missed him but he still hadn't apologized so they had a friendship now but were not back together. She romanticized him loving her and gave him another chance because she liked the idea of it. He finally apologized but did not yet tell her he loved her and more notably did not ask to get back together, fulfilling Max's impression of "please take us back". She still knew this wasn't on her so she waited for him to say it/ask her to get back together with him. Honestly, the latter would have been enough and he could build the courage on his own time (by 8 months she lost patience, though). But he didn't do either. And she was grieving. And she was moving. And she wanted comfort and constancy. She had lost Hopper and she was losing Max, the two people who supplement Mike. Once, she had been willing to make the choice that if he didn't say it, she simply wouldn't get back together with him, but she was no longer willing to make that choice (see show theme: love is about choices. hers to get back together with him was made reluctantly out of his inaction and her unwillingness to make any other choice). He still did not say it. She gave up on him and said it herself.

El missed Mike. El moved on from Mike because he wasn't coming back to her. El romanticized Mike loving her. El gave up on Mike coming back to her but this time instead of moving on, she did it herself.

It is not romantic for her to have done it herself. He should have done it. So many romantic milestones for them are not romantic and are full of "should"s for the characters. The Snow Ball was perfect, romantic, how they dreamed. But getting back together should have been on Mike. Her doing it is reluctant and disappointing and starts with the thought "oh, fine". Mike saying El he loves should have been quiet and sweet and intimate and alone. Him doing it while she's dying surrounded by people is stressful and the love is overshadowed by fear.

The most in love version of these characters wish every milestone in their relationship went differently. El wishes Mike asked her to come back. Mike wishes he could have told her he loved her in an intentional, romantic way that was allowed to be happy and allowed to be together. Nothing goes the way they want it to, even in especially in the version where they are deeply in love.

The ideal version of their love story is two people who are just okay with their relationship enough to stay in it. They want to hit the milestones for the sake of it because they hear it's good and it feels nice and validating to their self worth. They care more that they get back together than feeling wanted in the actual event and that the I love you was said than whether it felt nice. They will either get married at 18 and divorce by 24 or be the elderly couple who "stuck it out" who tell their love story as resenting each other for entire decades on and off.

Their love story is only happy if they are using it to boost their self worth.

And oh, look. Look what it failed to do for El in season 4 when she needed most, prompting her to- what did you say? Move on because Mike couldn't fix it before Mike got around to apologizing, making his apology mean less? You don't say. And being with El what? Makes Mike feel inferior unless he can hit these milestones, erasing stress as opposed to granting joy? Hm. Got it. Good to know.

Mike and El's ideal fit for this love story is kinda-passively-love-each-other but most of their highs come from self esteem and external validation. And the plot of season 4 is that Mike is unable to help El's horrible self esteem and does not provide validation when she needs it most. And just because Mike isn't crying doesn't mean it isn't of note that she has not told him he is enough in narrative response to us knowing he doesn't feel like he is.

Mike moving on when El was too late

Edit: Just remembered! After Mike attempts his first apology, El has even gotten to the point where she has gone from bummed at the reminder that he's her ex to giggling when Max says their breakup is permanent.

(^immediate response)

#stranger things #byler #anti milkvan #elmike analysis #elmike season 3 #ily2 scene #el hopper #mike wheeler #el hopper analysis #mike el parallels

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smoooothoperator · 1 year

Text

Beautiful Stranger

02: Need To Know

Driver! Lando Norris x OC (Lily Barton)

Summer love, strangers to friends to lovers, Greece and Greek mythology references

Words: 3.3k

Masterlist

Official playlist

previous part | next part

a/n: hello beautiful people! here we have another chapter of this two silly duo. And we have a Spotify playlist!!! If some of you think that I should add more sings please tell me

Every way of feedback is very welcomed

🖌️

"I had a little accident, Nora… it's okay" I sighed looking at how my foot was on a cushion on the coffee table. "I have to rest around three days and then I can go work"

"No, no, no! You won't come in a few weeks! You have a sprained ankle, you have to rest" she protested. "But how did it happen?"

"Well… I just fell and twisted it, easy" I shrugged my shoulders. "But I'm fine, really… don't worry!"

"Just rest, okay? I'll go there and help you with everything you need"

"It's not necessary, Nora. I can walk, you don't have to come"

When the day started I never imagined that something like this could happen: having a stranger in my house cooking my dinner for me because he crashed into me and now I can't move my foot.

On the way back to the apartment complex he was tense all the way, driving carefully and looking around, making sure he won't crash on someone again. We stopped on a pharmacy so I could buy my medicines and even crutches so I could move around without any help.

"Logan, really… it's not necessary" I sighed, looking at him moving around my kitchen after I finished the call with Nora.

"At least let me make your dinner" he said, looking back at me. "Then you won't see me again"

I frowned, raising an eyebrow and sighing. He was nervous, I can tell. It's like when someone wants to clean a crime scene. He wants to make me forgive him for crashing into me.

"You know that will be impossible, we are neighbors and this town is small" I sighed, crossing my arms in front of my chest and watching him move around.

He just remained silent, making my curiosity grow even more. He's British for sure, his accent is too obvious. I'm sure he has money, the perfume I smelt when I was behind him on the scooter seemed expensive. He wears a Lacoste shirt and Ray-Ban sunglasses.

"Why did you come to the town?" I asked him after some minutes of silence studying him.

"What are you talking about?" he frowned, turning around.

"It's obvious you have money, right?" I pointed. "Lacoste, and expensive perfume"

He looked at me and I saw his Adam apple move. Is he nervous?. He doesn't want anyone discovering him?

"What, are you a robber or something? From the mafia?" I laughed.

"W-what? What are you talking about?" he mumbled, making me frown and look at him.

"Why coming to Parga, and not going to… I don't know" I sighed, shrugging my shoulders. "Mykonos or Santorini…"

"Why don't you mind your own business?" he interrupted me, pissed.

"Wow, relax" I laughed. "I'm just joking! Come on, I'm bored. I can't move and you are just making my dinner!"

He sighed and rolled his eyes, looking back at the kitchen. He was making something that looked like a salad, with some lettuce, olives, feta cheese and tomato.

"I came here because I wanted to be on my own" he said.

"Oh, I see..." I nodded, understanding him. After all, that's part of the reason why I came and stayed here. "Then let me tell you that Parga is the perfect place"

He looked over his shoulder at me and I heard him sigh. There's something about him that intrigued me, something that makes me want to know about him.

"How is your hand?" he asked me, putting the salad he made in front of me.

"It's okay" I sighed, looking at the mix of vegetables he made. "Stings a lot, I want to scratch it…"

"You shouldn't" he frowned, grabbing a glass of water and putting the pills I have to take next to it. "And try to not move a lot, you heard what the doctor said. Not even going to the beach"

“But…” I protested, receiving a frown from him, making me groan. “Okay”

He looked at me and stood straight, crossing his arms in front of his chest and sighed. RIght now I feel like when my mother used to give me that cold look because I was doing something wrong, with that disappointed gaze.

“You can leave now” I sighed, grabbing the fork and eating the salad he made. “I can do things on my own. You better go careful after this, I wouldn’t like to crash into someone else if I were you”

He smiled weakly and nodded, grabbing his things and looking back at me before he walked out of the apartment, closing the front door behind him.

What way to finish the day, with a sprained ankle and a neighbor that made my dinner after only knowing his name.

🎮

She has something that makes me want to know about her. Maybe it is the way she lives, her house doesn’t have many personal things, just the necessary.

But what makes me feel curious is the tons of books she owns about Greek mythology or about its history, all the shells she has on jars and the room that is dedicated to paint. She didn’t even cry when we had the crash, just argued with me immediately and tried to do everything by herself, not accepting my help.

After I made her dinner and left her there, I went to my rented apartment. How could she know I am rich only by looking at my shirt and smelling my perfume? She said she was joking, but the way she looked at me made me feel anxious.

She doesn’t know who I am, right? Then why does she look at me that way?

“God, I don’t think I’ll survive in this place” I sighed, my phone in my ear and Carlos at the other side of the line.

“Why? Do you miss me?” he smirked, laughing after that. “What’s wrong with that place?”

“No… the place is nice” I sighed, looking out through the window. “I just… God, I arrived today and I already nearly killed my neighbor”

“What?!” he laughed loud, making me frown and pull away the phone from my ear. “You muppet! No one can leave you alone!”

“Don’t laugh at me! That’s being mean!” I groaned. “I just… I had to lie about my own name because she acted weird, like if she knew who I am”

“So you gave her a fake name? God, can you be more stupid?” he sighed.

“But… What if she discovers who I am! What if she takes a picture of me and posts it on Instagram?” I frown. “People will know where I am and then they’ll come. I don’t want that, mate. I don't want to explain why I'm alone or why I don't have a girlfriend"

"I know, but…" he sighed. "Lying about your name? That's… that's too much, mate"

"Why? I mean, maybe I won't see her again" I sighed. "What's the matter with that?"

"Nothing" he sighed. "If you are okay with it, them it's fine"

I sigh and nod, ending the call and looking at the beach. Lily, my neighbor, wanted to go there and I ruined it. What a great way to start my vacation.

I opened the fridge and grabbed the first thing I found, going to the couch and looking at the wall while eating it. I really want to finish this day and go to bed, forget about what happened and start again.

But then I heard a strong noise, and a groan. And it came from the other side of the wall.

"Lily?" I frown, talking loud. Maybe she could hear me.

I heard her curse and I just got up, walking out of the apartment and going to her door.

When I helped her get inside her apartment after coming from the pharmacy I saw that she always leaves her door unlocked. She might trust the people from here to leave the door like that.

"Lily?" I called her again, standing on the frame of the front door.

"Bathroom" I heard her mumble.

I sigh and walk towards the bathroom, searching for the door of it. And then I saw her on the floor, naked and wrapped in a towel.

"Oh, eh…" I gasp looking around, trying to not look at her body. "What happened?"

"I tried to take a bath but I just fell" she sighed, tightening the towel around her.

"Do you need help?" I sighed. I could feel how my cheeks were getting red.

"Logan…" she said, and then I heard her sigh defeated. "Please?"

"Okay… ehm…" I mumble looking at the ceiling. "You are naked under the towel, right?"

"Yeah" she sighed. "I mean, I have the bottom of the bikini. I fell trying to take it off…"

"Okay, good" I nodded, looking around and finding the top of the bikini. "Can you put it on so I can help you?"

I heard her groan a little and move, sitting on the floor. I reached the top, making sure I didn't look at her, and handed it to her, waiting until she told me she was ready.

"Alright" I nodded.

I looked at her, sitting on the floor. She had small tears in the corner of her eyes, some of them dry. I sighed and looked at the bath, it doesn't have water on it yet, so I opened the key and let the water run until it was warm, butting some shower gel to make sure it made bubbles.

"Did you hurt your hand with the fall?" I asked, kneeling in front of her. She nodded and I just sighed. "Let me see"

"It's okay, Logan… really" she sighed. "You can go back to your apartment"

"No" I frown. "Right now you need someone to help you, and I'm just a door away"

Why did I say that?

"Come on, I'm sure you were busy" she protested. "Really, I'm fine. I can get up and then get in the bathtub on my own"

"God, let me help you, Lily" I sighed, tired of how stubborn she's acting.

She sighed and groaned, giving up.

"Yeah, I hurt my hand" she mumbled, showing it to me. The bandage that was wrapped around her arm to protect the wound she made after falling to the road had a little blood on it. "I think I opened the wound after falling…"

"It's okay" I nodded. "You have a first aid kit here, right? While you are on the bath relaxing I can change the bandage"

"But you don't have to stay here while I take the bath!" she protested, but the moment I looked at her she sighed. "Okay…"

I sigh and stop the water of the bathtub and look at her, picking her up and placing her on it, making sure that the foot with the bandage was held up at the edge of the bathtub. At the start she protested when I held her, saying that she could stand for herself, but it was clearly a way of telling me to stop helping her.

"Can I ask you something?" I said, changing the bandage and putting the cream the pharmacist gave her.

"You are already doing it" she mumbled, groaning softly when I touched the wound.

"Hm, funny" I said sarcastically. "Anyway… why didn't you accept my help?"

She looked at me and sighed. I could feel her eyes scanning me, judging me. Maybe she knows that Logan is not my name. That I'm Lando Norris.

"I don't trust you" she said, shrugging her shoulders. "The only things I know about you is that you are my neighbor in this apartment complex, that you probably are British because of your accent, that your skills driving a scooter are horrendous and that you make good salads"

I looked at her and tried to not laugh. She might be the first person that thinks I cook well, or that at least I make something edible.

"I'm not that bad at driving a scooter" I said laughing softly after I finished wrapping the bandage on her hand. "I'm a good driver"

"A good driver? Let me doubt that" she laughed softly too.

I look at her and smile. Her laugh is cute, at least now the mood is not as tense as before.

I looked at her while she looked away. Her skin is tanned, the kind of tan you get after going all days to the beach. Before she fell to the floor she put her hair on a hair lip that had the shape of a white flower, and the baby hairs of her nape were too short to be with the rest of her hair so now those strands were wet and stuck to her skin. The bikini she's wearing is blue, a color that goes well with her skin and her blue eyes.

If someone told me she is a model I would have believed them.

"I'm from Bristol" I said, sitting on the floor, looking at her. "So yeah, I'm British. And I'm terrible at cooking"

"Makes sense" she nodded. "So you are terrible at driving a scooter and at cooking. What else?"

"I can't sing" I chuckle. "But I know how a DJ set up works"

"Interesting" she laughed. "So, what are you? Some kind of DJ that needs to be away and have a solo trip?"

Actually… it could work.

"Yeah, kinda" I chuckle nervously. "I'm new in that world and I want to discover my own style"

"Ah.. that's cool" she nodded, making me raise my eyebrow. "I'm serious! It's cool"

"Tell me about you, then" I said, nodding at her. "Where are you from? Because I can tell that you have a good English accent but you speak fluent Greek"

"I'm… British, too" she smiled weakly. "But I came here because I loved this country"

"I can tell, you have lots of books about Greece" I nodded, even more curious than before after I saw her weak smile.

"I studied ancient history and I always wanted to be here to live it in first person" she sighed, resting her head in the back of the bathtub.

"And then I thought that you were like some of those girls obsessed with that Mamma Mia movie" I chuckled, trying to ease the mood. "You gave me those Donna vibes when I saw you"

"Who knows? Maybe I'll turn into her in a few years" she laughed softly. "I came here searching for a dream and I'm already living it…"

"That's good" I nodded, curious.

She smiled weakly and sighed, relaxing. I should go back to my apartment, but there's something that makes me want to stay and help her. Maybe it's the fact that I feel guilty, that she's like this because of my fault, because I crashed into her and she got injured.

"Why do you leave the front door unlocked?" I asked her, curious.

"Why not? I trust the people" she said, shrugging her shoulders and looking at me. "I don't have anything to hide or anything they can take from me. People are kind and I'm kind with them. I trust them"

"What if someone comes in the middle of the night to hurt you?" I frown, kinda worried.

"Well… now I don't have to worry anymore, right?" she said with a soft smile on her lips. "I have a neighbor with good hearing sense that would come here to help"

🖌️

The moment I said that I felt immediately stupid. I saw how he looked at me, trying to not laugh. Laugh at me, because of how ridiculous I was.

"I didn't mean to say that" I excused myself quickly, blushing and looking away.

"It's okay" he laughed. "It makes sense, I surprised myself of how quickly I came to help you"

I look at him and blush, laughing to hide the embarrassment. He was putting everything back in the first kit aid, his fingers moving around the things to place them correctly.

His hands are nice, with long fingers and a big palm. There are some bracelets on his wrists, some of them were orange and the other other yellow.

"Eh… can you help me get out?" I asked, somehow shy.

I know that the moment I'll get out of the water, things will happen. Like the bikini top wet and stuck to my breasts, all my body wet and then getting his clothes wet. That's why I didn't want his help, because things would turn back uncomfortable.

"Oh, yeah" he nodded, getting up.

Great, why are you so freaking kind?

I took a deep breath and looked at him standing on the side of the bathtub. He was looking at me, waiting for me to move, but when I stayed still, he frowned.

"Well? You don't want to get out?" he frowned, confused.

"It will be awkward" I sighed.

"It doesn't have to be" he said, and it just made me close my eyes, sighing heavier.

"Logan… my nipples are hard" I said, just to make him understand. "And my whole body is wet, if you help me get up I will make your clothes wet"

"O-oh…" he nodded, now understanding. "Okay… then I'll help you on another way"

I sighed, groaning. He really wants to help, no matter what? How can someone be so stubborn?

"Okay, try not to slip" he said.

I turned my head and saw him standing behind me, holding a towel with his hands. I sighed, really defeated, and rolly eyes.

"You win" I said. "Just… don't let me fall"

I heard him chuckle and then his hands were holding my arms, helping me get up without hurting me. He wrapped the towel around me and I just held it tighter once I was standing in the bathtub.

"Ready?" he asked, wrapping his arm on my back and getting ready to pick me up.

I nodded and then he picked me up, making me hold his shoulders and sigh. He sat me on the toilet and I just looked down, embarrassed.

"I promise this is the last time I take a bath with this thing on my foot" I groan.

"Just… don't hurt yourself again, Lily" he sighed. "You gave me a heart attack when I heard you fall"

I looked up at him and blushed. Okay, no, this can't be a crush. No, no. Get that idea out of your head, Lily.

"I'm sorry I disturbed you" I sighed. "It won't happen again"

"Don't worry" he chuckled. "Do you need help to go to bed?"

"I actually didn't want to go to bed" I said, holding the towel tighter and making sure it didn't fall. "But you can leave, really. I can do things on my own"

"You sure?" he frowned.

"Yeah, Logan. Don't worry" I said. "Good night"

He nodded and walked out, leaving me alone in the bathroom.

This day can't get worse. There's no way it can't get worse.

I sighed, taking off the bikini and putting on clean clothes to finally feel comfortable. The crutches are my big enemy, but if I want to move around I have to wear them, even if I hate it.

I walked, as best as I could, and went to my art room. I needed to do something to take all my emotions of the day out of my mind. I need to take my frustrations out and forget about everything that happened today.

"Well…" I sighed, grabbing my notebook and some pencils after sitting on the chair.

I let the pencil work alone, connected with my brain. I wasn't paying attention, but when I saw what I was drawing I just gasped.

"No way…" I mumble.

The eyes.

His eyes.

taglist

@lestappenloverr @racinggirl @roni-midnights @livster @kakorrhaphiphobia @starkeyellow @celestialpierre @ophcelia @msliz @lorarri @ironmaiden1313 @imsorare @mycenterfold

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time-and-the-waves · 3 months

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𝐀𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐈'𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝟏𝟗𝟖𝟎'𝐬 𝐈𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞!

NAME: Circe Achilles Jackson.

ALIAS: Cee, Ceecee, Soda-addict, Jackson, CJ. NATIONALITY: American.

AGE: 15/16 years old.

WEAPONS: A standard issue CHB sword, small intricately decorated daggers.

RELATIONS: Sally Jackson (Mother); Perseus Jackson (Brother); Poseidon (Father); Gabe Ugliano (Ex-stepfather.); Paul Blofis (Step-Father); Estelle Jackson-Blofis (Step-Sister).

PERSONALITY: She's stand-offish, stubborn and sarcastic. There used to be a time when she was loud and liked giving people nicknames, now, she's more of a tired teenager.

FATAL FLAWS: Inferiority complex, Hard time forgiving others.

FEARS: Heights, Loud sounds, abandonment issues

HOBBIES: playing guitar, skate-boarding, annoying her brother, playing Skee-Ball and other arcade games.

SEXUALITY: Bisexual. and Painstakingly single. Come flirt with me, I'll flirt back <33

APPEARANCE: curly, messy, black hair. heterochromic eyes (one sea-green, one brown.). lanky and lean. BACKGROUND: Circe is Percy's twin sister. Biologically. She went with Percy, Annabeth and Grover on the quest to find their mother and get the lightning bolt back, even though Chiron had warned them taking 4 people on a quest was bad luck. Well, bad luck it was. The group made their way to Lotus Casino, and Circe got sidetracked, attracted by the games and the food. They lost her. While searching, Ares demands one of the staff there tell Percy she's dead, so that he'll back off the quest. They tell him, and heartbroken, they leave. Once realising she couldn't find her brother anywhere, panic seized her and the staff told her he'd left. She felt betrayed. Had he not wanted her? Everyday, she waited, hoping he'd come back, but he never did. In the process, she meets two other kids, one obsessed with mythomagic and his older sister. They leave at some point too. She makes out 3 years before right now, and starts aging pretty quick, turning up at around 16 while her twin brother is 40. Talk about weird. PEOPLE I KNOW:

@ghost-king-and-thebones Nico Di Angelo. Son of Hades.

@doctor-sunshine-andcarebears William Solace-Di Angelo. Son of Apollo.

@olivernothere Oliver Solace-Di Aneglo. Son of Nico di-angelo/

@chasing-that-jackson Praetor Jackson. Daughter Of Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase. (technically my niece..sigh.)

@sincerely-anniejackson Annabeth Chase. Daughter of Athena.

@ineedtoescapefromreality echo and rosalyn mclean. Children of Piper and Shel Mclean.

@leo-repairguy-valdez Leo Valdez. Son of Hephaestus.

@iggy-mini-miny-moe Ignis Grace. Son of Leo Valdez and Jason Grace.

@notwillingtobefound Will Grace. Son of Leo Valdez and Jason Grace.

@violent-cinnamonroll Aria La Rue. Daughter of Clarisse La Rue and Silena Beauregard.

@daredevil-larue Lucine La Rue. Daughter of Clarisse La Rue and Silena Beauregard.

@hey-guys-its-sam Samantha Zhang. Daughter of Frank Zhang and Hazel Levesque

@yourfavoriteadoptedkid Eloise Zhang. Daughter of Frank Zhang and Hazel Levesque

@not-a-panda Pandora Stoll. Daughter of Travis Stoll and Kaite Gardener.

@crimes-girlfriend Andrea Lilith. Daughter of Hades

@praetor-ambrose-asher Ambrose Asher. Praetor of Rome. @the-poison-and-the-sky Belladonna Chase-Jackson.

Tags: Circe is here! - ic Don't listen to the witch's advice - asks Circe in the Casino - Lore Lotus Casino staff cleans up - Ooc

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

#circe is here!#dont listen to the witch's advice #circe in the casino #lotus casino staff cleans up #pjo rp #argo 3 #roleplay #oc

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pussydestroyer10110 · 1 year

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I LOVE ELIO AND WHEN I SAY LOVE I MEAN LOOOOVE

Timothèe Chalamet was such good casting for Elio and I can proudly say I've read the book and watched the movie (this is fucking astonishing because I normally lurk around the internet)

There's barely any of these so I'll make one myself

•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡

ELIO PERLMAN X MALE READER

•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡

Summary: You take the place of Oliver. Elio is 18, you are 20. This takes place in the part of the movie version where Oliver leaves and Elio is left heartbroken but you however realise you can't live without the love of your life so you drag your ass back to him.

—————

Have you ever heard of the phrase distance makes the heart grow fonder? Well in your case that statement is very much true.

You'd just arrived at the airport and your flight was due to be boarding any minute yet you had a sickening feeling in your gut with every step you took closer to that gate. You were about third in line, your passport open on the page with your picture, when suddenly tealisation hits you like a freight train.

This was wrong.

You shouldn't be here.

You should be with him.

So you closed your passport and bolted murmuring 'excuse me' every time someone got in your way because you were now a man with a mission. The wheels of your suitcase could barely keep up as they groaned from your frantic dragging, it was now that you were thanking the lords above that you only travelled with one item of luggage.

You made your way into the main foyer and ran towards the main entrance trying to flag a taxi.

"Scusi, do you need help?" A small woman asked from the side of you seeing your struggle of trying to get a taxi.

"Yes, I need to be in Crema as soon as possible but none of them seem to notice me." You say with a pitiful tone laced with spite.

"Crema?" She asked.

"Yes, I need to visit someone very special to me before it is too late." You reply looking downcast.

"I am going to Crema, I will give you a lift." She said sympathising with your unfortunate situation.

"Really! Thank you so much I'll be forever grateful!" You say in disbelief of this womans generosity.

She just smiles and nods her head. You couldn't resist and wrapped your clumsy frame around her in a loving hug, she laughed and patted your back.

"Come on we must leave if we want to make it by the end of today" She demands ushering you towards the car.

You place yourself in the passenger seat as she gets in the drivers and quickly pulls out of the hellish car park. Your leg bounces up and down in nervous excitement. What if he never forgives you for leaving? What if you were just a summer fling?

What if he didn't want you to return?

"Tell me about them" She says.

And that's how you spend the seemingly never ending journey, rambling on about the boy you had fallen in love with in a scarily short amount of time. The conversation wasn't completely one sided as she tells you about a husband she has waiting for her in her small residence in Crema and how she's been so excited to see him and her little boy - Lèon.

You ride was filled with a love sick aura as you discussed those who you loved dearly and she didn't even blink when you mentioned your lover was a boy. By the end of the journey you'd made a new friend.

The beautiful place of Crema began to appear with its trees lined paths and cobbled roads, outside was nearly dark now as the last 5 hours had been pure travelling with your new companion. She drive the car through the quiet streets before she reached the dusty path that had begun to feel like home over this summer.

She stopped the car and turned to look at you.

"Go in there and you tell that boy you love him and if no one accepts you here come to mine and I'll gladly make up the spare bedroom." She says smiling widely at you.

You lean over and hug her tightly.

"Thank you so much, you don't know how much this means to me." You tell her.

Before you could say anything else though she shooed you out the car wishing you luck.

Nerves started creeping in along with all the negative outcomes and scenarios playing on repeat through your mind as you approached the doors of the Italian villa. Your hand clenched into a fist - your knuckles pale - and knocked on the door thrice.

The sound of rushed footsteps and the noise of blanketed voices talking in Italian caused you to stand up straight with a nervous smile etched on your lips. The door opened and the woman known as Mrs Perlman or as she insisted you called her Anella, had her face turned away from you still in conversation with Mr Perlman.

As soon as she turned her head towards you she let out a gasp and then smiled widely pulling you in for a big hug.

"What are you doing here (___)!?" She said happily.

You were unsure of what to say.

"I ..... couldn't leave?" You said with anticipation.

"(___) my son is in love with you and if you are in love with him then I give you my blessing" She poke quietly and you couldn't help but let tears begin to pool along your water line.

"Go, he's in his room, he hasn't stopped crying since you left." She told you.

With that you bolted up the stairs running towards the door that you'd acquainted yourself with, knocking gently.

"Leave me alone" A voice that sounded almost like a whimper said in Italian.

You turn the handle and peak your head around the door seeing Elio's thin form curled in the bed you used to sleep in, your shirt clutched tightly in his hands.

"Go away" His voice was so tired and fragile.

You went to the bed perching yourself in the space by his upper body. You saw the redness of his cheeks and the paths of the tears leading from his closed eyes, it broke your heart to see his agonised body lying tense in front of you.

Your hand approached his hair and you brushed a stray curl off his forehead, only then did he open his eyes.

As soon as he saw you he leapt into your arms and collapsed into sobs, fingernails dragging along your arms, trying to draw your body impossibly close.

"(___)" He said softly almost as if he wasn't sure you were really there.

"I'm here my love." You whisper moving your arms to wrap around his waist and resting your head on top of his.

You sat like this for what seemed like seconds but was actually nearly half an hour, he just kept whispering your name and clawing your arms and back while sobbing desperately in your arms. Finally his cries subsided into sniffles and he relaxed slightly in your arms.

He looked up at you and you raised your hands to cradle his face in your palms.

"Why are you here?" He asked as if he was scared of your answer.

"Because I love you and I can't imagine my life without you in it." You said before leaning in and pressing a gentle kiss onto his lips which conveyed all the emotions you couldn't put into words.

He kissed back before pulling away with a smile.

"I love you too. Promise me you won't leave again." He asked.

"Of course not, I plan to stay as long as you'll have me." You respond, every word being the truth.

And that's how your life went, a life full of romance and happiness, one where you never left each other for anything that wasn't completely necessary.

It was just you and Elio.

•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡

AHH ANOTHER ONE DONE THIS MIGHT BE MY FAV

Don't judge its 1am so sorry for any shitty mistakes or anything

It's short but something, I had an English exam today and I think that might of sucked all the good writing out of me so my condolences

#cmbyn #elio perlman #elio #crema #Italy #romance #fluff #love #seperation #comfort #bxb #call me by your name #timothée chalamet #male reader #x male reader #andré aciman #elio perlman x male reader

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weridointhecorner · 5 months

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Sometimes, I feel a little silly, reposting and advocating pro palestine content on a tumblr account. It's seems like a very clumsy way of trying to help someone, anyone, from literal actual genocide.

I didn't know much about palestine before October 7th. What did I know about palestine? I know Ireland has strong ties, because i am irish, but this did not stand out to me when i first heard of it. It just solidified a loathing for imperialism (Oh the British are c#### was else is new?) Olive trees were grown in palestine. they were trees hundreds of years old and olive oil was a popular export from there, but i dont think I've ever tried it. Jesus Christ was debately Palestinian, and so I knew it was close to or beside Egypt because of that.

I knew it existed as a country, but I didn't know anyone there or have any real connection to the place apart from a vague knowledge that i was sympathetic to them.

My knowledge has dramatically increased in recent months, such as my connection to the Palestinian people and my hatred of the Imperial West.

I impulsively decided to a pro palestine march over the weekend. It was embarrassing as I was by myself and didn't know what I was doing, really. I was near the front of the parade, and a lot of people out on the street would take photos. We were shouting pro palestine chants and stopping traffic, and I don't know if I was making a difference or just making a nuisance of myself.

So, again, I feel silly, posting awareness on tumblr of all things. But I would feel terrible if I didn't, is the thing. If i didn't post, if i didn't do the march, if i didn't talk to the people who aren't on tumblr or tiktok or twitter and "aren't political," It would be worse, to me, if I could see and know what is happening in palestine and not feel some way about it, not do anything about it. Even if it's only a small thing, I'm not going to stop. I'm never going to be able to forget about palestine or stop talking about it. I cannot. I will never be able to forget, and I'll never forgive myself if I do.

🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸

#free palestine #palestine #free gaza #fuck israel #end the genocide #stand with gaza #palestinians #irish solidarity with palestine #fuck america #fuck the police

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sevensoulmates · 6 months

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I must say I'm kinda baffled by the way some people are reacting towards Tommy and Buck's scene. Like we may have bi Buck on the horizon so I think we all should be happy about it, I know we are all protective of our ship but this is a good thing because there has to be a catalyst, something that will make a change in Eddie and Buck relationship and this is it. Buck's bi realization is a must if buddie it's going to happen because if buddie does end being together it can't be sudden, it has to be built on. So I'm having a blast with Tommy's character 🤷 he's a funny guy.

Also I may know nothing about cinematography but that little scene there with Tommy, Buck and Eddie seemed important for a reason.

Btw I was wondering about this interview https://youtu.be/vlCRTTAfeYs?si=oiVXhkBu7WQ9hV_1

Because sometimes I still struggle with the real meaning behind some sentences or words in English, when Oliver said:

"You can’t have the audience interpretation in mind too much when you make the show. You have to make it and put it out in the world and people can take what they want."

Can this be interpreted as they wouldn't care if some viewers may have an homophobic reaction towards Eddie and Buck getting together or I'm reading things differently?

I understand people being sensitive to "another barrier" towards buddie but like...yeah, it's getting a little out of hand. It's fine to feel your feelings, but keep them in your group chat's or to your like-minded friends. Please don't make them other people's problems.

I am also having a blast with Tommy! I wasn't sure how they were going to take his character with the reintroduction given how he wasn't the most well-liked character in the Begins episodes. Again, if POC fans never want to forgive him or like him, that's totally fine. I won't ever get on people's cases for disliking him for his past actions. But I do think he'll prove to be interesting if he plays a role for Buck (and Buddie by extension).

I'll give you my personal interpretation (which could be up for debate) of what Oliver said in that interview. To me, he's saying, that he can't always be policing himself when he's acting by wondering "is the audience going to think I'm making this scene too gay?", "will they get mad at me and accuse me of queerbaiting if I act in certain ways with Ryan/Eddie in this scene?", etc. I think that Oliver is very aware of how he and his actions are perceived by the fandom. He's always been the one who has dealt with the brunt of people screaming "BUDDIE!" and "QUEERBAITER!" in his face. If the long-running theory that FOX was purposely not letting Buddie happen is true, then Oliver was probably very aware that anything he did or said would give fans false hope and would lead to disappointment and people disliking him. He seems like a really good guy who doesn't want to really hurt people's feelings that way. But at the end of the day, it hinders an actor's ability to give a character or a scene their all if they're constantly overthinking how it will be perceived by the audience.

So, I think Oliver is saying that he's no longer overthinking his actions when it comes to the way he acts as Buck. If people want to perceive a scene/action as gay, then okay. If they don't, okay. If they hate it, okay. If they love it, fantastic. And the same for any solo Buck scenes or non-buddie scenes too. I'm glad he's trying not to let how other people perceive his acting choices get to him anymore.

I hope I explained myself clearly! And again, that's just MY interpretation of what he said. I'm sure there are plenty of other valid interpretations too.

#911 abc #buddie #oliver stark #911 bts #911 press #speculation #bucktommy #buck x tommy

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loisfreakinglane · 2 months

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@queenofattolia OOOOH MY FAVORITE THROUPLES!!!!!!!!! SMASH THAT READ MORE BUTTON

ben/maddie/ryn ~ siren (never forgive never forget that breakup, they were PERFECT. that show ended with season 2 and i will NEVER EVER EVER forgive season 3's crimes)

kala/rajan/wolfgang ~ sense8 (we were denied a full series arc of them getting together, but frankly i didn't feel it was rushed in the finale. it still felt organic TO ME, largely bc the chemistry between rajan and wolfgang was impeccable immediately)

eliot/hardison/parker ~ leverage (can you believe there's people who watch leverage that don't ship this?!!?!?! there are human beings out there who ship eliot/parker with zero hardison involvement. BAFFLED, FRIENDS)

angel/buffy/cordy ~ btvs/ats (i'm sorry this is based on my own brain falling into the depths of madness when s6/s3 were airing and i was banned from watching buffy so i was reading the transcripts on buffyworld and left to stew over how much i wanted buffy and dawn and tara to flee to la and never look back, while also falling in love with cangel and thinking about how much those three would fit perfectly together, buffy and cordy as two sides of the same coin, just always out of step with the others parallel heroic journey, how much bangel would work so much more for me when it's damaged adults coming together and also raising their impossible blue eyed kids together also connors never kidnapped also also faith moves into the hyperion too and gunn and fred never break up the end okay i'll stop now)

the princess, the prince, and the mermaid ~ the little mermaid (i was infected by the novel mermaid: a twist on the classic tail (heh) in my youth- christopher, lenia, and margrethe had a fascinating relationship i fell in love with. and now!!!!!!!! watching older adaptations of tlm, seeing the interactions between the three of them always intrigue me so hard. pre-disney the princess is allowed to be sweet and kind to the mermaid, if somewhat patronizing to the mute young girl. and when the mermaid fades away, her body in foam and her soul off to heaven, she lays a kiss on the grieving princess's head AND I DIE)

elizabeth/neal/peter ~ white collar (IT WAS SUCH A FUN TRIO I STAND BY THIS CHOICE! also at the time it was extraordinarily refreshing of fandom to not immediately despise and vilify the woman standing between their slash ship. and i adored the canon and the fanon so tbh! this will always stick out as a classique ot3 to me!)

irma/marion/miranda ~ picnic at hanging rock (why aren't we frolicking in oz, wearing white gowns and eating picnic treats RIGHT NOW? anyway they're in love, they're so in love they fell into an alternate dimension)

ann/ben/leslie ~ parks and recreation (am I the only person who was tearing my hair out during ann's search for a sperm donor bc why did leslie never offer up ben's specimen!?!?! she is OBSESSED with ann and way too invasive and beyond controlling and I think way too much about that episode where ben and ann are fighting over the wafflemaker for one of leslie's insane random holidays, then end it off by coming together to make leslie STOP with the incessant celebrations and presents? anyway they should have all wound up together. and not just bc chris was terrible)

huoxin/jing/xiaowei ~ painted skin the resurrection (the lady demon, the princess, and the bodyguard. this trio was EVERYTHING. the demon fixated on the princess and her heart, the princess desperately in love with her bodyguard turned general but clinging to shame over her facial scars, the general who runs from his failure to protect her. ADD IN BODYSWAP SHENANIGANS AND I LOSE MY MIND EVERY TIME.)

ezra/jules/richie ~ imposters (possibly partially queerplatonic bc i'm not exactly sure where jules lies on ye olde kinsey scale, but even if it's platonic on her part i'm incredibly in love with this trio and i SO see it as a working throuple LEAVE ME ALONE)

elizabeth/olive/william ~ professor marston and the wonder women (whether you believe the historical accuracy of this movie or not, this throuple is fucking awesome and i adooooooore them)

gwen/mj/peter ~ marvel comics (i'm so sick of thinking about spider-man rn bc *waves hand at mcu* HOWEVER it would feel disingenous to leave this off my list. i love these three, i love them together so much.)

alex/hal/tom ~ being human uk (the way these characters brought new life to this era of bhuk. these three are in LOVE)

chel/miguel/tulio ~ the road to el dorado (baby's first ot3)

kirk/spock/uhura ~ star trek (THE KELVIN TIMELINE!!!!!!!!!!! THEY'RE SO MUCH. still mourning a fic that was deleted off ao3....... sad bean bear city)

art/patrick/tashi ~ challengers (THEEEEEEEEEEEE PINNACLE! there are ppl who cast tashi as the villain of the story and think art and patrick will flee her when the credits roll, and i am so glad i am not surrounded by those types. this is a love story where every person is desperately needed to complete the triad. they just don't work without all 3 of them)

clark/lana/lex ~ smallville (LOOK LOOK LOOK. SHUT UP. anyway i rewatched this show with my father at the height of the pandemic and lana/lex hit hard in a way it never had before, so now i'm p equally obsessed with every side of this triangle and now i want to smash them all together so bad. THIS IS HOW TO FIX EVERYTHING.)

gaby/ilya/napoleon ~ the man from uncle (ready made ot3, i can't be mad)

mylene/shaolin/zeke ~ the get down (did mylene and shaolin hate each other? uhhhhhhh yep. HOWEVER. THAT ALLOWED FOR SOME FUCKING GREAT TENSION. and they were both equally in love with zeke so like............ i wanted it so bad

i'm SURE i'm missing very important ones, but these are my broad strokes 💗💗💗

ALSO LOOK AT THEM!!!!!!!!! TELL ME YOU DON'T SHIP THEM IMMEDIATELY

#queenofattolia #personal #so close to adding arthur/guinevere/lancelot but i still haven't read that modern au book series caro recced #TO BE DETERMINED

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mageofseven · 1 year

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MC Talking about Trauma they Experienced (Luce, Dia, Satan, Beel & Belphie)

Edit: this has been in my drafts for a while now. I started this one day when my depression was really bad and this was actually very therapeutic to write.

However, I got super emotionally exhausted from it and sort of abandoned it and since then, I've been debating whether to finish it, delete it, or post it as is.

After some thinking, I decided to add another character or so to the post and then post it.

Please, please check the trigger warnings below and do not read anything you can't handle.

Please protect yourself and always check for trigger warnings.

Now everything below this message is what I wrote originally that night.

Stay safe and if you do still read this, thank you for your time!~

~~~~~~~~~~

I wanted to write this because it's been on my mind; I'm autistic so I tend to have zero filter and over share things, but often in a nonchalant way, like I'm telling you about a cat I saw outside and not about things I talk to my therapist about on a weekly basis.

Basically, this is a post where MC shares bad memories (whether in an upset or nonchalant way) and we see how the Boys react.

So like, angst ahead, but the kind that might hit too close to home for some people.

I'll keep it all below the cut so you don't have to read anything potentially triggering for you if don't want to.

TW: physical abuse, emotional manipulation, child abuse, alcoholism, parents with anger issues

•▪︎▪︎◇°●♡●°◇▪︎▪︎•

Lucifer:

"MC, we're not having that for dinner for the 4th night this week."

"But...what will I eat then?"

The man sighed.

"I don't know. I'll have to figure something out." He told them. "Honestly, meal planning would be a lot easier without your food sensitivities."

The human stared into space, mind seemingly far away.

Lucifer raised an eyebrow before stepping closer.

"MC? Is something wrong, Love?"

"I'm remembering the time my mom slapped me on the face at a community barbeque in front of everyone there because she wasted money on buying me a ticket for an event without any food I could eat; I ran away and hid so I could cry and hyperventilate without people judging me."

His eyes widened.

"When did this happen?"

The human shrugged.

"I dunno. A few years back." They guessed. "I didn't get to have any food at all that day because my mom was so mad at me."

Lucifer took their hand and squeezed it.

"Well, you aren't with your mother anymore." The man smiled bitterly before adding. "I suppose we could just order pizza for tomorrow's dinner."

"No peppers? No olives?" The human asked, surprised.

"No peppers, no olives." He nodded.

"No iguana eyes? No anglerfish lantern?"

"None." He promised, despite knowing Beel's disappointment at the last two toppings not being on the pizza.

MC smiled and squeeze their boyfriend's hand back.

"Thank ya, Luce~"

The man's smile became softer.

He made a mental note to ask for Barbatos' help with finding more foods his Love can eat, but for now, the demon just didn't want MC thinking back on such horrible memories.

Like always, Luce just wanted to treat his Love how they deserved and not how they've always been treated.

Diavolo:

The two were discussing the prince's relationship with his currently deep-slumbering father.

It wasn't a topic Dia liked to speak about, but as his relationship with MC deepened, he found himself confiding in her with things he used to avoid discussing.

"...so in fairness, maybe we were never going to be close, considering the circumstances."

MC looked away, tears in their eyes.

"My Queen..." Diavolo brought his hand to their cheek. "Forgive me, I didn't mean to upset you with this."

MC shook their head.

"No, its not you." They told their boyfriend. "I just...I kinda relate in a a way..."

The prince brought the human into arms before kisskng their forehead.

"I can tell you have something in mind to share; you can share it with me."

MC was quiet for a moment before nodding.

"Once when I was a kid, we had a speaker come to class to teach us about child abuse. They handed out these pamphlets and explained to us that if our parents do any of the stuff that we talked about that day then we could call a number in the pamphlet..."

The demon tightened his embrace around them, not liking where this story was headed.

"I...I remember learning that a lot of stuff my parents did to me and my siblings was bad," They continued. "So I went home and told my parents that a speaker came to school and he told me that if they keep doing bad things and mistreat me that I could call the number on the paper..."

The human's tears fell down their cheeks, followed by Dia kissing them away.

"My Queen..."

"Ya know what they said to me?" They asked rhetorically. "They said 'Do it. I dare you'. Told me those people would take me and my siblings away, put us in foster care and split us up. That I would never see them or my brother or sister or my grandparents or anyone that I loved ever again...and told me they wouldn't even care, that they could just 'make another just like me' and that I would be responsible for my siblings' and my own suffering while my parents would just be happy to get rid of me."

The prince pulled MC into a tighter embrace as they cried.

"I wanted a good relationship with my parents so badly, but how do you become close with people who tell you at such a young age that you are replaceable and a burden they didn't even want?"

"You don't." He said softly in their ear as he stroked their hair. "Your parents were miserable people who never deserved having you as their child; they made sure of that."

The man leaned back to look them in the eyes.

"My Queen...I'm sorry you went through that. Please remember that you didn't deserve it though."

MC nodded.

"I...I know. Logically anyway...but it doesn't feel true, ya know?"

"Oh MC..."

Diavolo took the rest of the day off work, regardless of any urges or reminders from Barbatos.

This man wanted so desperately to comfort his beloved and heal the hole in her heart.

Still, the man knew there was not much he could do for the latter; this was just something his Queen had to work through on their own.

That wasn't going to stop this man from showering them love and reminding them just how perfect and sweet they are to him.

Satan:

Satan had gotten into an argument with Lucifer, resulting in one of his fits of rage.

They were so rare now of days; this was essentially the oldest bringing up the wrong thing at the wrong time and pushed it too far

Causing Satan to destroy half of the living room and the two 'brothers' screaming at one another.

This went on for a while till the two men noticed the human in the corner hyperventilating.

That knocked the blonde out of his anger real quick as he raced to their side.

Lucifer allowed the argument to pause for now, considering the human's condition, and so left them be.

Eventually, MC calmed down enough and launched themself into their boyfriend's arms.

"I'm sorry..." He spoke softly into their ear. "I shouldn't have lost control like that...especially in front of you."

MC shook their head within his arms before sniffling.

"It's not you..." They mumbled. "When the crashing started...I-I just...I didn't see you...I didn't see House of Lamentation..."

"What do you mean, Kitten?" He stroked their hair before pulling back to meet their eyes.

"I...I was in my head." They explained. "It reminded me of a time when I was a kid...my dad was drunk and got angry at my little brother. I...didn't see what happened, but I heard curses and crashes and my brother begging him to stop...and I didn't save him. I didn't save him. I hid in the kitchen and sobbed with my arms over my head, begging for him to stop in my mind but not being able move or even speak..."

"Kitten..." Satan hugged them tightly to his chest again. "You're not there; you're here with me and you're safe."

"But my brother--"

"You would have just gotten hurt too." He told them. "You were a child just trying to to survive. It's not your fault."

"But--"

"It's not your fault." He repeated.

This time, the human just closed their eyes and hung their head.

Satan picked them up and carried the human to their room; the...scare, I guess you could call it, had really tired his partner out.

He laid his Kitten on their bed and kissed their forehead.

Satan vowed to never himself lose control in front of them ever again.

Even if this time it had less to do with what he did and more about something they experienced long ago, the wrath demon needed to keep himself in check so he never brought such bad memories to his Kitten's head again.

Beel & Belphie:

The human went on a walk with the twins and, as per usual, Beel made a stop at Madam Screams to get a few dozen pastries.

Beel carried all of the bags of sweets himself and, no matter how often MC saw him carry so much food and never drop any of it, it still amazed the human.

"Dang, that's even more than yesterday..." Belphie commented. "Did you already spend all of your grimm this month?"

"Almost." The gluttony shrugged, still not dropping a single bag.

Suddenly, MC's steps slowed till they were frozen in place.

"-C? MC?" Belphie called to them.

The human slowly raised their gaze up at the men.

"You okay, Muffin?" Beel asked, concern evident on his face.

MC nodded.

"I was remembering one of the fights my parents had when I was a little kid." They explained calmly. "My dad spent over a $1,000 at the bar in a week 'cause he kept buying his friends drinks. Mama told him that he can't keep doing that because they were barely able to put food on the table as things were; Dad yelled at her for telling him what to do and Mom yelled back that she hopes he ends up dead in a ditch somewhere--what?"

The human was genuinely confused by the two demons, who stared at her with a mix of shock and pity.

Belphie shook his head.

"Let's just get home, butthead."

And with that, both twins wrapped an arm around them protectively

Causing Beel to drop two of his bags.

Still, the tallest demon never looked back as he and his brother took their human home, a place where hopefully better memories will come to their mind.

#obey me #obey me otome #obey me lucifer #obey me diavolo #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #TRIGGER WARNING #pleass be careful #⚠️

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