#i'll make sure she'll grow up and be on my side

[slutforleeminho]

heyy, i love your work, i was wondering if you could write a fic based on the song ‘the other woman’ by lana del rey where the reader is the other woman. you could do it about any member :)

this is my first ever request since i’ve been on this app so i hope i did it right 😭

The other Woman • Hwang Hyunjin

thank you so much! i’m so happy that your first ask was on my acc! i hope you like it<3

warnings: suggestive(no explicit smut), arguing, infidelity, toxic relationship, plot twist at the end;)

"I have to go, beautiful." Hyunjin leaned down to kiss your forehead after pulling his pants up and buttoning them. He placed his hand on the side of your face, gently caressing your cheek with his thumb. "She'll get suspicious if I stay any longer."

This was normal for you, yours and Hyunjin's little routine. He'd take you out to dinner and treat you like a princess, paying for your meals and anything else you could possibly want. Holding your hand and taking you places you've only dreamed of going, then he'd take you home --your home-- and he'd fuck you like there was no tomorrow. And then he'd leave to do the same things with his wife.

You never understood why he pursued you the way he did when he had someone at home to take care of, but you didn't care enough to bring it up. Why would you? You have everything a young woman could ever want; a young, handsome, rich man who gives you anything you want. But only a few times a week. It's okay though, that just gives you plenty of time to do things that you enjoy like reading and going to museums and admiring the beautiful pieces of art that you wished you could just shove in your bag and take home with you.

"Okay," You said with a tired smile. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Actually, I meant to tell you, I won't be able to come over tomorrow. Apparently, Violet has a family reunion, and she wants me to accompany her." He stated as he pulled his shirt over his head and grabbed his bag from the chair in the corner of your room.

Violet. Such a pretty name for such a lucky woman.

"Oh." Was all you replied with.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, of course not, these things happen," You knew exactly what you were getting yourself into as soon as you entered this relationship, if it can even be called that. "Just text me when you can. let me know when you want to meet up."

"Of course." He smiled.

He kissed you deeply before he left that night, almost making you forget that he had someone at home waiting for him, and you would be left here, cold and alone.

That text that he promised didnt come until a week later.

"I miss the way you feel wrapped around me." Was all that the message contained. You liked to imagine he was talking about your warm embrace, but you knew that wasn't true. He just wanted to feel an unfamiliar body underneath his.

You weren't sure how you ended up like this. When you first met Hyunjin he was sweet and caring, attentively listened to you while you complained about your bad day at work and massaged away all the soreness in your muscles. You can't remember the last time he's taken you out to dinner or bought you flowers. Now you were just his escape from his nagging wife.

You put up with the constant shame and guilt you felt for being with someone who already had their someone, because you thought that maybe his love for you would grow and that maybe someday Hyunjin would realize that you're the one he wants to spend every waking moment with and not someone else. But as your love for him grew your patience shrunk until one day you snapped.

Hyunjin was collecting his things after he had finished what he came here for, which was to get his dick wet and nothing more. "I won't see you again after tonight."

Hyunjin stopped in his tracks and stared at you with wide eyes. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean I deserve more than this. I deserve to have someone's full attention and all of their heart." You held yourself together, determined not to cry Infront of him. He doesn't deserve your tears.

"Baby, what are you even talking about?" He knelt down in front of you and placed his hand on your shaking knees. "Of course, I love you."

"No, you don't," You shook your head. "You love my body, you love having someone at your disposal, someone you can use only for your own pleasure. If you loved me even in the slightest there wouldn't be another woman getting the treatment that I crave so fucking much." All the emotion you've kept stuffed away finally revealed itself in the form of a single tear running down your cheek.

It was silent for a long time before Hyunjin spoke. "I'll leave her." You snapped your head up so fast that it hurt. "If that's what you want than I'll do it." The way he worded it as if it was your choice whether his marriage ended or not made you sick to your stomach, but you couldn't deny that you felt a flutter of hope in your chest that maybe this didn't have to end after all. But you're smarter than that. He says this now, but he doesn't mean it, and even if he did you wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing that a woman who did nothing wrong was out there most likely crying herself to sleep while your warm and safe in the love of her life's arms.

"No, be with her. I'll be okay." That was a complete lie but even after everything he's done, you still don't want him to worry about you.

"Please don't do this to me. I love you and I want to be with you. He held on to your legs tighter.

"Funny, isn't that what you told her when you vowed in front of God and everyone that your love for her would be eternal." His mouth snapped shut and his hands left your legs before he stood. He leaned down and before you could register what was happening his lips were on yours. You immediately reciprocated, leaning forward and pressing yourself closer into him. He was so intoxicating, the way his tongue glided with yours so smoothly had you in a trance; you snapped out of it when he placed his right knee on the bed beside you and started pushing you backwards. "No!" you shoved him away. He stumbled backwards but regained his balance quickly. "I'm not doing this with you, Hyunjin. I can't do this anymore, its wrong."

"Since when do you have morals?" His voice was louder this time, he was pissed.

"I've always had them, but I put them aside because I love you!" It was your turn to stand up and look him square in the face. "But the longer we do this the more I realize that this isn't love, its obsession and its toxic. You never loved me Hyunjin you were curious about infidelity, and I was an easy target because my standards were so fucking low that I actually settled for you."

"Fuck this, I don't have to sit here and listen to you degrade me like this." He grabbed his bag and left, but not without slamming the door behind him.

~

The past month has been hell. After laying in your bed for an entire week you decided to pack up all of Hyunjins things and throw them out, the smell of him that was radiating off of them was making you sick to your stomach every time you walked in the room. And then you went to the mall to treat yourself to a new outfit, you wanted something that didn't have any memories of him attached to it. A trip to your favorite coffee shop followed after that. you hadn't been her in a while and you missed the smell of fresh espresso as you walked in the door.

After getting yourself your favorite -a butter pecan macchiato and a small triple chocolate brownie (they were out of doughnuts)- You sat in the best spot in the entire shop, in a little booth in the corner right next to the window, where you could watch the leaves that had no color left in them fall to the ground only to get trampled over by the passing pedestrians. The leaves reminded you a lot of yourself in a way, but you hoped you never had to fall again.

"Hi," a voice pulled you out of your thoughts. You turned to find yourself looking up at a very handsome young man. His hair was blonde, and it came down to his shoulders. he had an apron on, and a big smile plastered across his face, little freckles decorated his cheeks. "I saw you bought one of the brownies, it's a new recipe I tried, and I wanted to ask if you enjoyed it."

"Oh," You blinked up at him. "Um yeah it's really good, maybe my new favorite."

"Oh, thank god," He let out a sigh of relief. "I was worried that it wouldn't be any good. See a couple of the ingredients I use were sold out, so I had to substitute-" He stooped in the middle of his sentence. "I'm sorry, I'm rambling. I tend to do that a lot."

"No, it's okay," You huffed out a laugh. He was so cute. "Now I'm curious about what ingredients were sold out." You joked.

He smiled widely at you and stretched his hand out. "I'm Felix."

You hesitated but took his hand anyway. "Nice to meet you, Felix."

PART TWO HERE

THANK YOUUU ALL FOR A THOUSAND FOLLOWERS I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO FEEL 😭

taglist: @katsukis1wife @sungprotector @seung-mine @favieee @soephiphanymain @z4hir @minnieslover @kjr-army @caitlyn98s @bangchansbae @fawnpeaks @yumiblogs

[muxshwriting]

my love, my life

Violet Bridgerton x daughter!reader, Bridgerton!reader

summary: Violet and her youngest, Y/N were mirror image. when you debut and fall in love, she faces the reality of letting you go || warnings: growing up, nostalgia, crying sessions when writing this|| word count: 705 || masterlist

Violet Bridgerton had nine children, four boys and five girls. Her youngest two, Hyacinth and Y/N, had surprised her by being twins. Neither of them would ever meet their father and Violet held them closer to her because of that fact. As a child, Hyacinth wanted to discover everything, see the whole house and the gardens and sometimes beyond. You, on the other hand, were perfectly content to curl up on your mother’s lap as she stitched, watching her work.

If anyone ever asked, Violet Bridgerton did not have a favourite child. She loved all her children equally was equally saddened when they, in turn, flew from the nest. But secretly, you were her favourite child, always willing to help your Mama and wanting to spend time with her. You were always content, never causing a fuss or making trouble for her to fix, unlike all your other siblings.

When you debut, you remain by your mother’s side, wary of this new experience. You spend your first season testing the waters of romance, charming suitors but not being interested in any fully. It’s on,y in your second year that you find yourself truly charmed.

Lord William Harding comes from a respectable and wealthy family but most importantly, he understands you. He will gladly spend an afternoon strolling through the park together, not saying a lot but occasionally pointing out something and telling a joke. He makes you feel warm and safe and that’s all you can ask for. It’s starts slowly until you realise that you crave his warming silence and his gentle conversation.

“I think I love him Mama.” The confession came as you were lying across your mother’s lap in the drawing room. Your book had been abandoned and Mama put down her embroidery to look at you.

“You think or you know?”

You meet her gaze, suddenly worried at the realisation. “I love him.”

Violet simply laughs at your concern. “Relax, my love. You have nothing to fear. I see how he looks at you.”

“What does that mean?”

“He loves you.” She says. “Whether he realises yet or not, he adores you.”

“Are you sure?”

Violet simply raises an eyebrow and smiles knowingly, continuing with her embroidery.

Your mother is all-knowing, especially after watching most of her children marry. William continues to court you, constantly looking at you with adoration. You confess your love to him as you dance together at your mother’s ball towards the end of the season and he reciprocates fully, imagining your future together and planning everything. Unbeknownst to you, he calls on your brother the very next day to ask for your hand in marriage. Anthony is well aware of your feelings towards William and gives his blessing willingly.

The time flies through your engagement until you're standing in front of your mother on your wedding day. You can't stop the tears gathering in your eyes as you look at her, knowing this is the final hurdle of your girlhood. Violet grasps your hands tightly in hers and pulls you close.

"You'll always be my daughter, no matter where you are."

"Mama-"

"It's alright to be afraid, it's alright to be unsure. That's love and life."

You dry your tears. "I want this so badly yet I am terrified of leaving you behind."

"I am not left behind." Violet says, convincing you more than she convinces herself. In truth, she is afraid of being left behind. All her children are now married, all will begin families of their own and she'll be reduced to the grandmother who is visited when it's convenient. It's only life, everyone grows up and grows away from their roots.

"I'll always need you." You promise her. Mama hugs you tightly once more before shooing you towards Anthony who was waiting for you by the entrance to the chapel. This was the end of your childhood, walking down the aisle on your brothers arm watching your mother follow behind you. He passing you to William and you find yourself perfectly at ease next to him.

"Take care of her."

"I swear to everything, I will."

Anthony nods once, taking his seat in the front row as the rest of your life begins.

taglist: @aoi-targaryen

[xxxdreamscapexxx]

thinking about soft!mommy!wanda overstimulating reader 😫

Oooohhh, that would be so good! She crawls into bed while you're reading a book, feeling comfy and she just settles between your legs, stroking your thighs and pulling your attention away from whatever you're reading. "Do you think you can let Mommy play with your pussy, baby? Please, you don't have to do anything, honey. Mommy will just pull your pretty panties to the side and eat you out a little." She says the words so gently, that you can't say no to her. After the first couple of orgasms, she starts to lick you clean, moaning at how delicious you are and how good you are being for her and you think she's had enough, but she's just prepping you for her fingers and she can't help but smile, when you moan as she enters you. After the third orgasm, you start to protest, but it's short-lived. She's so sweet and gentle, crawling up your body and shushing you with kisses, while her fingers continue to pump inside you, the spark of arousal already growing into a flame. "More, baby. Give me more. I know you can take it. Mommy knows just how needy this pussy is. I can feel you twitching for more. Just lie back sweetie and let Mommy take care of you." After the fourth orgasm, she only uses her mouth, licking at your pussy slowly and softly and lulling you into letting her continue by telling you she'll be really careful. You're even happy to be edged at this point, convinced that you can't have another orgasm, but she doesn't want to play that game. She wants to see you cum over and over again. She refuses to tie you down, even when you struggle and try to wriggle away from her, making you submit with nothing but soothing words and soft touches. "I know, baby girl, I know, but you're doing so well for me." "Lie back down, sweetness, Mommy isn't done with you just yet. Last time you came 7 times for me. I'm sure you can give me at least that many." "Oh, honey, but you taste so good! I just love the way my baby girl tastes. You'll make Mommy so happy if you let her play with you a little longer. I'll just clean you up a little." But it's never just that. She starts at your entrance and she licks away the evidence of what she's done to you and then she moves up again, her tongue swirling over your clit and making you almost cry out from the overstimulation. By the time she's done with you, you're a sobbing mess. You're fisting the sheets desperately, the orgasm giving you pain and pleasure in equal measure and you sigh in relief, when she finally pulls away from your pussy. "God, look at you!" She admires your pitiful state. "You're so beautiful! God, baby, you're just so beautiful!" She's looking at you mesmerized, so utterly enamored by you. "Oh, honey, you should see yourself right now. So pretty. You're absolutely irresistible." Her hands grip your thighs, getting closer to your pulsing pussy, her eyes zeroing in on all the wetness you're still leaking out and one of her fingers ghosts over your entrance, making you arch your back. "Hm... Maybe just one more? Please, baby, Mommy will be so soft and gentle. Just one little finger, baby. It will feel sooo good, you'll see..."

[noellawrites]

Stress Relief - stepdad!Rafael Barba x reader

requested by @rafaslittleboy

summary: Rafael comes home angry and frustrated with your mom, so he decides to use you to relieve some of his stress.

warnings: father/stepchild incest, fingering, inappropriate relationship

Being Olivia Benson's kid had never been easy. Between angry criminals seeking revenge and never-ending cases that kept your mom away from you, you'd experienced more than your fair share of turmoil.

But even then, nothing compared to the night your mother and Rafael Barba came home and announced they'd gotten married down at the courthouse.

Somehow, taking care of Noah had always fallen on you. It didn't matter that you were working and going to school. Even though you were now in college and Noah was a bit older, you were still expected to be the responsible older sibling.

It had never been much of a secret that your mom and stepdad favored Noah over you. After all, they doted on him and told him how much they loved him all the time. You were practically invisible compared to him. Even though you were the one actually genetically related to one of them.

—

One night while you were doing schoolwork at the kitchen table, you were startled by the front door being flung open.

"Jeez, dad, what's wrong?" you ask, looking up at him and setting down your pencil.

"Elliot Stabler is back," Rafael grumbles, dropping his briefcase on the floor. It fell to the ground with a thud.

"I thought he was gone for good. Lizzie didn't tell me anything so she probably didn't know he was coming back, either. Poor kids," you sigh.

"Where's Noah?"

"A playdate with Amanda's girls. I'm picking him up later," you explain, looking up from your work briefly.

"Ah. Well, your mother is having a drink with Elliot. She'll be home later," Rafael spat.

"Damn. Jealous much?" you laugh, then realize it was the wrong move. You swore you saw fire rising up in Rafa's eyes as he stormed away to his and your mom's bedroom.

"Get in here, now." you hear Rafael growl from the other side of the bedroom door just a few minutes later.

A shiver runs down your spine. You were almost never allowed in your parents' bedroom. Only when you were being punished or scolded.

Even though you were in college, your parents still had absurd rules and acted like everything you did was wrong. Even though you weren't rebellious at all and spent most of your time watching your little brother.

"Dad, whatever I did, I'm sorry," you offer.

As you crack the bedroom door open, you notice your stepdad undressing himself, only his shirt, suspenders and pants remaining.

"I had a shit day and you sure aren't making it any better. Your mother and I have decided you need to learn to be more independent. I'm not even your real father, and you're not a little kid like your brother is. Grow up and stop relying on us for everything," he sighs, not even looking at you as if ashamed by your very existence.

"B-but you're the only d-dad I've ever had," you sniffle, tears welling up in your eyes.

"Stop getting emotional, don't be jealous over your brother. He didn't do anything wrong. Now get out, please. You're stressing me out," he says, rolling his eyes at you.

"What do I have to do to make you love me again? I'll do anything, please, dad."

"There's nothing you can do, I already have your mom," he states, laughing at your helpless desperation.

His words puncture your heart like a knife. He had your mom and Noah, so why were you still here? You'd always known you were useless, unloved, but now your stepdad had confirmed it.

"I can give you affection, anything you want. I-I can be better than my mom, please... please give me a chance!" you blurt, barely processing your words before you say them.

"Get out of my room. OUT!" he bellows, voice echoing through the walls. You leave, trying to preserve at least some of your dignity.

You sweep your homework off the dining table and drag it into your room. Your small, dark room. Somehow, even as the oldest, you'd gotten the worst bedroom. Of course. You flopped down on your bed and sobbed into your pillow, wishing fruitlessly for someone to make you feel wanted.

—

You couldn't remember when you had fallen asleep, but you hear a soft knock on your door some time later.

"Huh?" you rasp, eyes widening as your stepdad enters. Now clothed in a sweater and flannel pajama pants, he looks so much softer than before.

His sympathetic gaze fixes on you before saying, "c'mon, out of bed, sweetie."

Rafael leads you to the master bedroom once again, your mother still nowhere to be seen. Probably still out with Elliot Stabler.

"C'mon, sit in my lap. Don't worry, your dad's got you, okay? " you nod, so touch-starved as you climb onto the bed and into his lap.

"You were right earlier, we haven't been paying enough attention to you. Even big kids need love too. C'mon, cuddle with your dad," he says warmly, allowing you to climb under the blankets with him and snuggle up close to his warm body.

"I missed this," you hum, feeling his warm breath on your forehead as he wraps his arms around you.

You lean into his touch as his arm moves down your back, eventually stopping so his hand is resting on the small of your back.

Your breath hitches when you feel your stepdad's thick fingers reach down towards your underwear, gently teasing the waistband.

“Dad, w-what are you doing?” you hiss, writhing around gently to try and shake him off.

“Shh, just let me touch you, okay?”

You look at him with wide eyes, terrified at his uncharacteristic behavior.

Now, Rafael was sniffing your hair as he pressed a finger against the edge of your hole.

You tried to shake your head, or open your mouth, or do anything, but you were paralyzed with fear.

“Don’t tell your mom about this, alright kiddo?” your stepdad says with a breathy whisper as he plunges two fingers deep into your hole, nudging your pleasurable spot.

You try to muffle a shriek as your stepdad clutches your body close to his so you can’t get away. He was older and bigger than you and doesn't hesitate to exert his power over you.

The change was like night and day. You'd always considered Mr. Barba to be your own father, as he was the closest thing you had to a dad.

"Da-ad— please, please stop!" you hiss, feeling his thick fingers plunge in and out of you, working to pleasure you like he knew you deserved.

"Nuh, uh, baby. I want to apologize for neglecting you. And all this time, I've had a cute little stepchild right under my nose just waiting to be used. I'm sorry it took me so long," he says with a chuckle, like this is all some sick joke.

"I-I think I'm g-gonna—" your breath hitches and Rafael immediately knows, can feel your orgasm about to hit you.

"Mhm, just focus on my fingers, mi amor. Daddy's gonna make you feel really, really good," he coos.

You gasp and suddenly you can feel your little hole throb, trying hard to push your stepdad's fingers out. You clutch him even closer and he pulls you tight into his chest. His scent filling your nose just as his fingers were filling you.

Everything feels muddy, slow, dark. Your dad slipping his fingers out, throwing the sheets over and licking your cum out of your hole. His gentle touches, little kisses, reassuring you of his love.

He is just dressing himself in his pajamas as your mom opens the front door. You can hear your mom talking to your little brother in a babyish voice.

"Remember, not a word to your mother. It's not like she'd believe you anyways," your stepdad laughs, pushing your face away before going into the living room, acting as if he hadn't just fingered his kid to orgasm.

"They're not feeling great, I let them sleep in our bed. Thought some pampering was in order for such a good kid," Rafael says, kissing Olivia on the cheek. It's the last thing you see before you pull the covers over your head and welcome the darkness.

[pluto-supremacy]

Vi Headcanons: dating f!reader at Stillwater

➼ Yes I am breaking my rule of no f!reader because I wanted to write for Vi so bad. So I'm gonna set a new precedent now: I'll write f!reader IF it is a wlw fic/headcanons/whatever. Though this is more of just a lil treat since the brainrot is rotting

➼ Might end up turning this into a full fic, if you want that let me know! (It did! Here's part two)

➼ No beta we die like Sky

➼ Warnings: None!

GIF does not belong to me! All credits to the owner

Whenever there is free time, Vi is at your side. You two usually find some corner away from the others to try and get away, pretend you two can have a moment to yourselves

She's always giving you her food, you don't even need to ask. She'll happily let you pick at her plate if you're still hungry or you haven't eaten in a while due to lockdown

You're lucky enough to only be two cells away from each other, you two often get in trouble for talking during lights out

If you're ever in trouble, Vi takes the beatings for you. She can and has thrown herself between you and a guard and is not afraid to do it again

Same obviously goes for inmates

"If you want to keep your tongue in your mouth, I suggest you leave her alone"

Though not many inmates mess with you considering your personal body guard of a girlfriend

If you're ever thrown into solitary, Vi goes crazy. Getting into more fights than usual, refusing food, even trying to break into solitary to be with you

If you want, she gives you both matching tattoos there with whatever device she can get her hands on. She lets you pick out the design and the placement

Anytime she gets clean clothes, bandages, and hygiene supplies (all of which are of course a rarity there), she uses them/gives them to you first. Bandages up any new cuts of yours or changes your dirty ones, gives you her new toothbrush and toothpaste, and so on. You'll have to fight her on at least sharing some of the items, like the new tube of toothpaste. She just wants to make sure you're taken care of

"Just scored a new hairbrush. Go ahead and take it, bun. Need to keep your hair brushed so I can play with it, yeah?"

Vi cuts your hair for you there and takes it super seriously. She's not gonna let you walk around with a shitty haircut

Though she did fuck it up once (or a few times, but they were smaller mistakes that were easy to hide)

To make up for that godawful haircut she gave herself a bad one too. It's just hair, after all, it grows back

She'll stand guard while you're showering. Make sure no one's gaze is lingering around on you. Also lets you shower first so if there is any hot water you'll get it

Vi is a portable bed for you. Whenever you're together and you want to rest, she'll try to find a quieter place and let you rest your head on her shoulder/in her lap. She plays with your hair while you're sleeping and checks your pulse every now and then. Just to make sure you're still there with her

Whenever you get sick there, she will make the biggest fuss to get you to medical. If that isn't an option Vi does her best to take care of you with the limited resources you both have

"Snuck a bit of that honey from breakfast. Try and cover your throat in that and don't worry about talking, okay Y/N?"

During bunk inspections, if you have any contraband, Vi takes it and hides it in her cell. She rarely ever gets caught with it, but she'd rather take the punches than have you on the receiving end of them

On the flipside Vi trades a lot of her own contraband to get things for you. Things like snacks, jewelry, hair dye, better clothes, anything other inmates have that you might want

Though if trading for those doesn't work, she will straight up steal them for you

When Caitlyn comes to release her for help with tracking down the stolen gemstone, she throws in a condition. An obvious one

"You're getting Y/N out too. That or you can try to find Silco on your own. Undercity is going to eat you alive without me"

And that's how you and your lover finally escape Stillwater

[foldingfittedsheets]

I have never had a post-coital headache, but I saw the ask and it made me think...

Orgasming using a vibe hurts my clitoris. It doesn't even touch my clit because it uses airwaves or something to vibrate the air around the clit, not sure. And I don't enjoy vibrators that touch the clit because it just doesn't feel like anything pleasurable? I can't explain it but it doesn't feel good or bad just kinda numbs me.

I'll be getting bottom surgery to nullify my crotch someday, so I guess it doesn't matter much, since I can limp along till then. I'll be tucking the clitoris and the nerve bundle under some skin and tissue and hopefully the padding will help offset the pain (and I could finally use those cute giant wand vibrators with the big buzzy ball), but I'm just asking in case you have ever heard of this and are willing to respond on your blog.

For the record, I don't enjoy using my hands on my clit, doesn't feel good and dysphoric and bothers my asexuality (I don't like touching genitals at all and the wetness feels icky). I grew up using the pressure and squeeze method. Basically ball up a blanket, press it to my pubis, and then do a very prolonged, overpowered kegel and there you go (kinda tiring tho). I didn't even know I had a clit growing up, always assumed it was the urethra because it hurt to touch (turns out it's supposed to be wet, thanks homeschooling for the lack of sex ed).

So I use the vibrator but I hate the vibrator. The moments before the orgasm is just so painful. And I have to immediately turn it off because the continued vibration causes even more pain and makes my muscles clench up in response which makes it very difficult to pull the toy away from my body. When using it with my partner I have to "tap out" and she'll pull it away for me.

I low-key believe the multiple orgasms for clit+pussy based anatomy is a myth because how could it possibly feel good to touch there once the orgasm has happened? Sometimes I can't close my legs completely for minutes. That shit is so sensitive and like swollen? Throbbing? Why?!?

I theoretically like orgasms. I like the quiet feeling after them. But getting there sucks, masturbating is unpleasant (apparently normal people enjoy the whole process, I'm just there for the afterglow), esp when it's a maintenance orgasm and I'm not horny or physically aroused (sometimes I just think that I need to orgasm without really wanting to if that makes sense, weird ace shit).

This ask is longer than I hoped it would be, but there's lots of important context and I honestly don't know why my body is like this, Google is useless (esp nowadays).

Okay there’s a ton to touch on here, but first: vibes are not one size fits all. Everyone’s body’s are different and motors come in different powers and pulses. The “cute” massage wand types are actually some of my least favorite because they just go cataclysmic in power which is way too much for 90% of clits. They just have good marketing.

If possible, you can look for a gentler vibe. Jimmy Jane Form 2 has a pulse setting that’s reallyyyyy light, and puts vibrations on either side of the clit instead of directly on it. But there’s a lot of shapes and sizes that could be gentler than what you’re using now.

If you’re unsure check out a store and try the vibe on the tip of your nose. This is pretty close to how sensitive your clit is and can give you a frame of reference for how much power you actually want. Generally lower rumbles are more expensive but also more pleasant so that’s a cost/benefit you can run.

The other aspect of this is that clitoral tissue is actually massive. There’s a lot of stuff going on under the hood, so to speak.

Clitoral nerves get everywhere! That’s the whole thing with G-spots- you’re still hypothetically applying pressure to nerve endings associated with the clit. I’ve heard anecdotally that they can end up in the anus too but I couldn’t find a source to verify that.

The takeaway from how sprawling all those nerves are is that there’s probably places you might like sensation better that directly on the clit. Most clit havers in my experience found that pretty overwhelming, myself included.

If your main business with your junk has been businesslike and unpleasant to touch it makes sense not messing with it much. If your partner is a person you trust to explore with you can just have them feel around and caress and see if other areas feel stimulating without being as overwhelming.

As for getting so throbby and uncomfortable afterward, and multiple orgasms: In my experience and anecdotally this depends how you get there. When you come fast and hard your body reacts differently than when you edge into an orgasm. You can try changing up your routine to see if this makes a difference for you.

Some people can never do multiple orgasms, it’s rare for me but does happen on occasion, so it’s worth noting that smut has a lot to answer for in terms of how normal they make that. If you can’t get off more than once it is what it is. It’s not a myth but it’s not everyone’s reality.

I hope this was helpful, good luck and as you say, eventually after surgery this will get easier for you!

[spidybaby]

Tea party

Summary: All it takes for you to fix your problems is a tea party.

Warnings: None.

"You can't be serious, are you?" He says between laughs.

"I am. Stop laughing. "

"Oh please, you're being ridiculous."

You stopped arguing, feeling like your feelings are not important to him.

You turn around, not wanting him to see the tears in your eyes. As much as you try to control your breathing, you can't stop the sob that leaves your mouth.

The moment he heard you crying, he knew he fucked up, no matter the situation or what the actual fight was about he crossed a line.

The argument was accumulated tension, or maybe it was the fact that you felt ignored.

He tries to reach you, but as soon as you feel his hands on you, you back away from him, making your way upstairs, needing space to calm you down.

You take a few breaths and clean your tears, not wanting your kid to see you like that.

"Hi baby," you say as you enter your daughter's room, "was your movie good?" She nodded, dedicating you a sweet smile.

All the anger and the sadness you felt because of the argument was now put aside. The sight of your four year old makes you calm down.

"Are you ready for the tea party, Mommy?"

"Of course I am, baby. I even have a perfect tiara for the occasion." You kiss her cheek and start preparing the little table for the tea party she wanted to have.

Kylian gave her a tea set as a present, and she was obsessed with it, always asking you to have tea parties with her.

Today was not different. She made little invitations for the tea party, giving one to you, one to Kylian and one to Teddy, her special teddy bear.

"What tiara are you wearing, my love?" You ask her finishing the setting of the table, just like she likes it. "You want to wear your pink one?"

She's getting her teddy bears ready for the party, as they're the special guests. "Yes, please."

Fixing the tiara on her head without messing her curls, you kiss her cheeks, admiring her. She was a copy of her dad, the eyes as glowing as his, the smile as big as his. She was perfect.

She was Kylians whole life. If she saw something she likes, she'll have it the next day. He makes sure she grows like the princess that he says she is.

"Let me get the tea and the food for us to start, okay?"

"Can you tell Daddy we are waiting for him?"

You tried not to change your expression. For her sake, you were going to act as if nothing happened.

"Yes, I'll go get Daddy."

You exit the playroom and make your way downstairs. The kitchen alone.

You prepare the things quickly, putting them on a wood plate.

Before leaving, you walk over to his office, and the door is open, so it's easy for you to get his attention.

"Hey," you say bearly audible.

"Hey, I'm sorry I didn't."

you cut him off, not ready for this conversation.

"Not now, Kylian. Let's just go upstairs."

As you were about to leave he grabbed you arm.

"Please hear me out"

"Not now, our daughter is waiting for us. Let's go."

Your move your arm freeing you from his hands.

He follows you closely as you grab the things and walk upstairs back to where your daughter is waiting.

"Hi princess," he says, picking her up. "I love your tiara. You look beautiful"

You set everything while they talk. Kylian has his eyes fixed on your every move.

"You need your crown, Daddy"

He puts her down and takes a seat while she looks for his king crown.

You took a seat on the other side of the table, moving one of the teddy bears, not wanting to sit next to him.

He's trying to ignore the situation, not wanting to ruin the rest of the day.

Kylian helps your kid with the crown and helps her sitting at her "special place" the one she herself picks only for her to sit on.

"One or two cubes of sugar?" You daughter ask you serving some tea on the cup.

"Two, please."

The tea party continues, and neither Kylian nor you are speaking.

As much as you think your daughter is unaware of the situation, she's a smart girl, and she can sense how you're ignoring each other.

She's used to seeing you two being all touchy and loving, so now that you are not even looking or making conversation, she starts to feel uneasy.

"Daddy"

"Yes, my princess?"

The tears in her eyes make Kylian worry.

"What's wrong bébé?"

She doesn't answer, her lips quivering as she starts sobbing, Kylian picks her up from her seat and places her at his lap. "Don't cry, princess. Tell me what's wrong."

You get up and move to where she was sitting, your hand caressing her back.

"I don't want you to stop loving my mommy"

You exchange a worried look, not aware of the fact that she heard the argument.

"Don't cry, princess. That's never going to happen."

"Are you going to stop living with us?"

She was now crying uncontrollably.

"No princess, stop crying, please. I'm sorry."

Kylian lulls her into his arms, repeating her that everything was okay.

"Amour, please don't cry."

She calmed down a little as you both reassured her that nothing was going to happen.

"I'm sorry, princess. I promise you I'll never stop loving your mommy."

"Then why were you yelling?"

You feel like crying, not wanting your child to have to deal with the fighting.

"It was nothing, amour, daddy and I were just mad, but that doesn't mean we don't love each other. I love Daddy so much."

Kylian extended his arm for you to cuddle into him.

"I don't want you to end like Lola's parents."

And that's when it hit you.

You were Lola's mother shoulder to cry about her divorce. She spent days with you crying about all her marriage problems, and that was also affecting Lola. You never thought your kid was picking all the negative energy from that. But now you realize your mistake, talking about adult thing in front of the kids.

"Baby," you felt comical for a moment, wanting to even laugh at your daughter innocence, but you weren't going to, not wanting to make the situation worse for her. "Daddy and I would never end like that. That's a totally different situation. I'm sorry you thought that, I'm sorry you heard us fighting."

Her eyes are now on you.

"You promise."

She put her pinkie up, and you wrap your own with her.

"I do."

You kiss her cheek and dry her tears.

"I'm sorry, princess."

Kylian fixes her tiara and kiss her cheek.

"You love mommy?"

He laughs, looking at you now.

"I love your mommy so much I can't even explain to you. And I'm really sorry I ever made you think I didn't."

Your eyes water, feeling overwhelmed.

"And I love you so so so so much, Ky."

You close the distance, kissing him quickly.

"And we both love you, princess."

You both kiss her, making her laugh.

"Another kiss"

She laughed as you kissed each other and her again.

You stay like that as the evening continues, finishing the tea party.

When the night arrives, you go down to prepare dinner for your family.

After a few minutes, Kylian enters the kitchen with your kid in arms, laughing at something.

He puts her down as she go looking for her coloring book.

"I'm sorry, you know how much I love you, I never meant to dismiss your feelings, I understand where you were coming from, and I'm sorry about it. I'll promise to work on that."

You turn the heat off and turn to face him.

"I'm sorry too, I don't like fighting with you."

You hug him tightly.

"I want a hug too"

You both laugh, hugging your little bundle of joy.

Yes, you have your ups and downs, but that's life. At the end of the day, you were thankful for your little family, knowing that your wouldn't change a thing.

[joelswritingmistress]

You Scare Me, Professor: Chapter 21

Summary: The reader is taking graduate classes at a local university in the wooded upstate New York. She is drawn to her professor, Dr. Joel Miller, though she is also inherently aware that he has something dark about him that she can't quite put her finger on. As the reader's attraction grows deeper, she has to decide whether to endure the danger or run away as fast as possible. 

Pairing: Professor Joel Miller x f!reader 

“I want you to come somewhere with me in a few weekends.” Dr. Miller ducked under the water beside me and emerged a few seconds later.

I dragged my toes along the small tiles on the bottom of the pool. “Where?”

“It's a surprise.” He scrunched his nose and squinted his eyes as he grinned. Despite our age gap there were times he looked so boyish - like right now.

I made a face back at him. “Everything’s a secret. You gotta give me this one.” I raised my eyebrows and swished my arms around.

Dr. Miller reached for my hands and pulled me toward the deep end like we did in the past. When my hands rested on his shoulders and I began to kick my feet, he gave in.

“Over the long weekend in February my sister is getting married. Come with me. Be my.. plus one.”

“Her wedding.” I smiled and then laughed. “She doesn't even know me.”

“We can change that.”

“What if she doesn't like me?”

Dr. Miller grinned. “My sister likes everyone who I like. She trusts my judge of character.”

“I’d love to go. I just.. that's a big night for your sister. I don't want to ruin it.”

He chuckled again. “How could you ruin it? Just don't drink too much and vomit on her dress and I think she'll be just fine.”

I snickered and took a deep breath, continuing to kick. “Are you sure?”

“If you don't want to go, I understand. I just-”

“I do.” I cut him off before he could continue. “I want to go.”

“Good.” He pecked my lips and continued to swim backwards until we reached the other side. “Then it's a date.”

“Where is it?”

“At the Stowe Ski Resort in Vermont.”

“I can't ski,” I said with a chuckle.

Dr. Miller smiled wide. “Well, you can't swim either, yet here we are.” He let his eyebrows rise and fall and I chuckled.

“Good point.” I slicked back his hair and planted a kiss on his lips. “Okay.. as long as it's okay with your sister.. I'll go.”

..

Two weekends later, Dr. Miller and I were walking hand-in-hand up the pebbly walkway of Red Maple Vineyard. I was nervous. Dr. Miller’s sister seemed to mean the world to him. Meeting her for the first time had me on pins and needles.

What if she doesn't like me? I kept asking myself that question over and over. Would our age gap bother her?

The two of us passed by the main doors to the establishment and headed to a back patio. It was littered with firepits, each one surrounded by a fake, see-through igloo.  Patrons dressed in winter hats and scarves, all toting wine glasses and talking with smiles inside of them.

When Dr. Miller grinned and gave a wave, my stomach knotted up. At the far, left corner of the patio a woman rose to her feet with the same friendly wave. She was a beautiful woman, with shortly cropped brown hair and high cheekbones. Jamie Lee Curtis in the flesh. The salt-and-pepper haired man who was seated beside her rose to his feet in preparation to greet us.

Moment of truth. I knew I needed to make a good impression.

“My favorite brother,” Carol greeted, pulling Dr. Miller I'm for a hug.

“Your only brother,” he added with a laugh, kissing her on the cheek.

“Still my favorite.” She nudged him and looked to me.

“Hi.” I smiled wide and extended a hand in Carol's direction. “I'm (Y/N). It's so nice to meet you.”

“Carol Miller,” she smiled and side-glanced her beau. “Soon to be Brennan.”

“Not soon enough.” The man exchanged a friendly handshake with Joel, and then switched his gaze to me. “Will Brennan.”

“Nice to meet you.” I then added, “Congratulations, by the way.” My eyes danced from Carol to Will and back to Carol.

“Thank you,” they said in unison, before inviting us to sit around the firepit with them.

Dr. Miller placed a hand on my lower back and extended his arm to allow me into the igloo a step ahead of him. I ducked under and sat down between him and his sister.

“We picked up a bottle of Chardonnay and Merlot,” Carol explained. “Preference?” She looked at me and reached for an empty glass. “Or we could grab a bottle of something else.”

“Oh, thank you. Um.. I’m more of a white wine girl.”

“Me, too.” Carol reached for the Chardonnay and poured me a glass before offering the same to her brother, who went with the Merlot.

“So,” Carol eyed the two of us, “How did you two meet?”

The question that made me freeze. I had only been asked one another time, and that by Tori. I assumed Dr. Miller would be giving his sister the same one because we hadn't talked about another faux-scenario.

“We met at the university,” Dr. Miller said.

“Oh,” Carol glanced to meet as she brought the glass of Chardonnay to her lips. “Do you work there, too?”

“I work at the board of education in Windham,” I explained, feeling my cheeks redden. “I’m actually just taking two courses at night. Chipping away at my Masters.”

“Oh, so this is a forbidden romance.” Carol said, motioning between the two of us with the hand she held her wine glass with. “Got it.” Her delivery was so dry I wasn't sure if she was kidding, disapproving or otherwise. I wondered what she would think of me actually being in his class.

Dr. Miller grinned at his sister who finally cracked a smile and gave a wink.

“I'm teasing,” she added. “You're both grown adults.”

Phew.

“I mean, she can't be one to judge,” Will leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “She fell for her boss.”

Carol glanced over at him and they shared a smile-turned-laugh.

“And yet, I still haven't gotten a raise.”

“I thought the diamond ring might've evened that out.”

I smiled to myself at their playful interaction. “How long have you been together?”

Carol rested a hand on his knee. “Almost three years.”

“Carol is the Dean of students at a private high school not far from here,” Dr. Miller informed me.

“Hillcrest Academy,” Carol explained. “And Will is the headmaster.”

“Nepotism,” Dr. Miller mumbled into his wine glass before taking a sip, making Will laugh and Carol roll her eyes.

“Fortunately for us, private schools don't have the same rules as most public schools do. One of us would probably have to leave to teach in another building, but Hillcrest doesn't have a strong nepotism policy. I just can't be the one to directly evaluate her performance.”

“Okay, enough work stuff,” Carol shushed him and leaned back in her chair to cross one leg over the other. “Let's get a little drunk and get to know each other.” She glanced at me with a look like, ‘what do you say'?

“Here, here.” Will raised his glass.

“Sounds good to me.” I brought my glass to the middle and then Dr. Miller and Carol did the same. We alternated tapping our glasses together and got the evening underway.

I was secretly hoping the truth would come out about Dr. Miller’s castle and the money. I was tempted to ask after a few glasses of wine, but I kept my mouth shut. The night ended up full of laughs and old, embarrassing stories. The mood was light, and talking to Carol and Will felt so organic that I certainly wasn't about to spoil it with intrusive questions.

“So,” Carol cleared her throat, swirling the wine that neared the bottom of the glass. The men were having their own conversation so her question was directed at me. “Do you want kids in the future?” Her question drew a quick glance from Dr. Miller and I knew he was fully paying attention despite his interaction with Will.

“Oh, well, eventually.. probably.” I chuckled and sipped from my own glass of wine. “I'm not totally there yet.”

“You've got time.” She tapped my knee and then fanned herself. “These igloos get warm.”

“That's the wine, honey.” Will placed a hand on the back of her neck and gave a squeeze.

Carol removed a white scarf she had on over a blue sweater. “So, Joel says you'll be attending our wedding next month.”

I raised my eyebrows and looked to Dr. Miller, then back to Carol. “If it's okay with you. I mean..”

“She's coming.” He draped an arm around my shoulders and winked, making me look down with a smile and back up.

I looked at Carol. “I'll be there.”

“Well, upon first impressions,” Carol glanced at Dr. Miller and then to me. “I'd love to have you as my brother’s plus one.”

“Congratulations,” Dr. Miller looked at me. “You passed the Carol test.”

“Even I flunked the first time,” Will added, making everyone laugh.

I felt like I was flying when we left the vineyard that night. Things had gone so well. When we exchanged hugs and finally went to our separate cars, I turned to Dr. Miller and kissed him on the cheek.

“Carol likes you,” he said, smiling back.

“She's great,” I gushed, “And Will seems really nice. They seem happy.”

Dr. Miller put his first two fingers beneath my chin. I loved when he did that. He stared at me for a few seconds before leaning in and touching his lips to mine. “Let's go home.”

Home.

I sighed contently, eager to snuggle under the fluffy down comforter in Dr. Miller's bed. I felt completely at ease after being worried about the evening prior to going out. I agreed. “Let's go home.”

CLICK HERE FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER

@untamedheart81 @suttonspuds @cesspitoflove @michilandcof @grogusmum @morallyinept @akah565 @brittmb115 @magpiepills @poodlebae @gobaaby-blog-blog @mermaidgirl30 @mandijo17 @jiminstinypinky @itscatrodriguez-thepearl @macaroni676 @acciowolfstar1

[yanderes-galore]

I would love to see Yandere! TFP Arcee vs Yandere! TFP Airachnid

Sure! These two haven't had much attention :) First time writing both so I hope it came out fine. I found this fun to throw my thoughts down with! Not really proofread, pure raw brainrot again.

Yandere! TFP! Arcee vs Yandere! TFP! Airachnid

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic - Rivalry

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Cybertronian/Cybertronian and Cybertronian/Human pairing mentioned, Obsession, Stalking briefly mentioned, Overprotective behavior, Manipulation, Fear of loss, Dubious companionship with Arcee, Forced companionship with Airachnid, Torture mention, Kidnapping, Mention of past death/death in general, Paranoia, Sadism, Blood mention.

For the sake of this concept I'll be focusing on between an Autobot and human darling for the two.

Arcee and Airachnid are two characters that already have history together.

Airachnid has killed Arcee's first partner Tailgate and often taunts her about her second, Cliffjumper.

I want to say for this concept you're her partner.

You can be one of her closest Autobot partners after Cliffjumper or essentially replace Jack if you're a human?

Either way you're considered her third partner which already makes Arcee concerned about your safety.

I can see Arcee being a bit scared when it comes to taking you places.

The deaths of her previous partners often weigh her down.

Deep down she's nervous to lose you as an Autobot since she's already lost many she's close to.

If you're a human then she knows how fragile you are, which means it's easier to lose you.

She's mature and often tries to look out for you as a partner and guardian.

Arcee is already a bit obsessive about you before Airachnid even shows up.

She's the first to develop an obsession regardless on what her feelings are.

She's loyal and respects you, she fights either by your side or protects you.

When her obsession situates itself she begins to feel safe.

She used to be such a lone wolf buy begins to rely on you more.

She's great to be around, often being a big help to her team.

She's caring and is often found not too far from you.

Even when she grows used to you, deep down there's always that fear that she may lose you.

Her obsession is lowkey, often only following you on missions or to take you home.

Sometimes if you're a human she stays over just to make sure you won't be hurt the moment she takes her optics off you.

Arcee is manageable with her obsession, often just coming off as a protective Autobot and guardian.

Then Airachnid enters the picture.

The arrival of a big rival to Arcee certainly makes the obsession worse.

Arcee knows better than anyone what Airachnid can do.

After all, she killed her first partner.

The moment Arcee realizes how much danger you're in with being around her, she tries to solve the issue herself.

She tries to hide you if you're human and often has you go on missions with the others instead of her.

Arcee feels Airachnid will go after her, so she wants to disassociate from you until things are dealt with.

However... that may not work in this concept.

Regardless on if Airachnid knows you are with Arcee or not she may find you by chance.

Airachnid is capable of tracking even if you hide due to her multiple modes.

There's a good chance, even if Arcee doesn't want it to happen, she may find you.

Airachnid is a hunter and sadist.

Her intentions with you are much worse than Arcee.

Regardless of if you're an Autobot or human she wants to hunt you.

Maybe she plans to kill you at first until she realizes your connections to Arcee.

Then she figures she'll have more fun just capturing and maybe prodding are you a bit just to torment Arcee.

These two are different than the usual Autobot and Decepticon behavior.

Arcee is more protective because of her previous loss of partners.

She's also perfectly capable of putting someone "offline" if she feels it is needed.

She almost did it to Starscream before Bumblebee stopped her.

Airachnid is more sadistic than your average Decepticon I feel.

She has an affinity for torture and hunting and can be rather animalistic in how she treats others at times.

These two can be rather extreme compared to most others.

Arcee doesn't like the idea of murder but will if it's to keep you.

Arcee has a certain desperation with her darling due to her past, while Airachnid feeds on that weakness.

Both yanderes are capable of murder and Airachnid is capable of kidnapping.

As with most Autobot vs Decepticon pairings, Arcee would be trying to keep you out of harm while Airachnid tries to steal you.

Arcee would have trouble explaining the situation to you.

She fears even more if you wants to help confront Airachnid.

Arcee wants to keep you out of the way, often saying she'll take care of things on her own.

Arcee really does try her best to keep you out of the claws of her worst enemy.

She's can't do everything on her own, however.

Airachnid may just take you away eventually.

Honestly if such a thing happened then I feel Arcee would drop her morals to reclaim you.

She refuses to lose another partner.

Airachnid would be teasing when she has you, she's sadistic when she hunts and toys with you.

She tells you Arcee is nothing compared to her and you'll be forced to be the Insecticon's (?) prize.

She won't kill you as now she's a bit attached.

But she will leave her mark on you.

If you're an Autobot she may bite or scratch you.

If you're human she has to use more precision, cutting you to watch the strange red blood of humans flow out.

In a way you're degraded into being a pet, a plaything.

All for her.

Now she's hiding you from Arcee instead of the other way around.

When you're gone I can see Arcee trying to track you.

She swears she'll end things once and for all once she finds the damn spider.

Arcee may even try to fatally wound Airachnid if no one is with her.

To her it'll just be "squashing a bug".

Who cares if some Energon is on her hands?

Airachnid already doesn't mind tormenting and killing Arcee.

She'll even do it in front of you.

At some point these two will have a final confrontation.

It's best Arcee comes to take you home with help...

Or else only one of them is coming out of this to claim you alive.

[narislvr]

-> PALESTINE RESOURCES (don't skip.)

,, ellie williams x latina!/mex!reader hcs ⤹˚˖♬୭

,, cws? afab and mainly mexican coded reader | fluff ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹

ᝰ.ᐟ nari note : 1.) thank you so much for the overwhelming support on my works it really means a lot. This is yet another self indulgent post but hopefully other mex/latina ellie fans enjoy this too ♡ 2.) I will be continuing to post my writing every now and then, however, I will continue to be posting things regarding Palestine and will be linking resources on whatever non-palestine post I make in order to continue to spread awareness.

' ' Que simplemente puedo decir yo,

Que eres lo mas bonito, que he visto en toda mi vida , ,

˖♬୭ she's a shameless duolingo user. Like, she's very serious about doing the lessons, scoffing whenever you laugh at her while shes doing her lessons on the couch next to you, volume all the way up as she mumbles the phrases under her breath, repeating them even when shes not doing the lessons.

"what? I wanna impress la suegra next time we go visit."

˖♬୭ speaking of which, she made sure that she left a good impression with your parents the moment she met them, or atleast tried. she was so nervous to meet them, especially with the whole language barrier thing, but she was quick to call your parents her suegros, taking them by surprise at first but they quickly grew to like her.

ellie and your mom fr

˖♬୭ she adores your mom, always offering to help out in the kitchen even if she has no idea what to do. she has a low spice tolerance, but you best believe she's trying the mole when your mom asks her to taste it.

"esta.. muy bueno..!" she'd say, sniffling as she leans onto your side and offers your mom a smile. you'd tease her about it later, and she'd reply with a 'it wasn't that spicy."

˖♬୭ she likes the Carne asadas your family has now and then, finding the music, food, and just the amount of family being there comforting. she didn't have much of a sense of community other than joel growing up so it was something she welcomed once the two of you became serious and she spent more time with your family.

˖♬୭ You'll either find her running around playing with the kids or joining the men playing pirinola or with the tias in loteria. If she happens to win, she'll run up to you, a cheeky grin on her face as she wraps an arm around your shoulders.

"Told you I'd win. Got ten dollars to treat ya' with, what you want tomorrow?"

˖♬୭ she found it an honor the first time she got to be in charge of the piñata. though she made it easy on the little kids so that they could hit it, she didn't hesitate to pull the piñata out of reach for the big kids when it was their turn.

˖♬୭ The first time you brought ellie to a quienceañera she was stunned, in a good way of course. Again, she was in awe of how everyone played a part in making it happen, and would definitely ask you all about yours as she wished she had met you sooner so that she could have been a part of it.

Ellie didn't know how to dance, not being able to do much more than sway to the rhythm, so when she saw the way you looked at the dance floor, she tried her best to push you to go even if it was without her. she really didn't want to embarrass herself in front of your family, and she didn't want to hold you back, but you were too stubborn to leave her.

"C'mon, el's, it'll be funnn. I'll guide you the whole time, okay?" you'd argue, tugging at her hand with a reassuring look. And how could she say no when you looked at her like that? With a small nod, she gets up, her hand in yours as you lead her towards the dance floor.

Huapango played in the background, as she watched your eyes illuminate, your arms wrapping around her shoulders as you smiled up at her.

"It's just little steps like this, okay? Yeah.. like that.. see? You're a natural!"

You lead her through the dance, not opting for a spin yet as you swayed your hips to rhythm. To say Ellie was an awe would be an understatement. You looked so comfortable like this, radiant, nothing compared to her shakey awkward steps as she tried to keep up with you.

"One day I'm gonna spin you like that couple over there.. You gotta keep teaching me though, alright?" She'd respond, eyes locked with yours as her hands gently squeezed your sides. You smile at this, nodding as you place a kiss against her cheek before reaching for the cowboy hat and placing it on her head with a chuckle.

"alright."

PALESTINE RESOURCES

[hyuuukais]

.・゜-: ✧ :- FICTIONAL REALITY .・゜-: ✧ :-

pairing • bang chan x fem reader

synopsis • fiction or reality? y/n preferred the former, escaping into another world, escaping her problems. so what happens when reality takes that away from her; wiping her own story-in-progress off both her laptop and beloved usb? and what happens when she opens the door in the middle of a crisis to none other then the love interest of her novel... and he's holding her usb?

warnings • general, food mentions, minho implies he wants to kill someone lol, y/ns ex is possessive, y/n is called a freak and pathetic

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

CHAPTER FIVE • AFTER THE STORM (1.6k)

"Yeah, no."

Minho blinks at you, confused. "Why not?"

"Why not? Why- Min-" you slump down into your office chair, laptop light highlighting your frustrated features. "I've moved on! I'm over it!" Chan's words echo in your head. "The past is the past and should stay that way."

"Clearly something thinks you're a liar," he crosses his arms. "Other than me."

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"You're clearly not over it! Why would you be?" He throws his arms up, looking at you directly. You avoid eye contact. "I wouldn't blame you if you weren't. That guy was seriously messed up."

"You don't know the half of it."

"So tell me."

Growing more irritated by the second, you push yourself up, looking up at Minho. Eyes meeting, he crosses his arms again, holding your glare just as intensely. There's something there- between you. Old tension, feelings of hurt and betrayal. No one knew you like he did, once upon a time, but could you ever get back to that?

Lightly, he brings a hand to your face, the other making its way up your arm, onto your shoulder. You sigh, leaning into the touch. Human connection never felt so good, so needed. He knew exactly how to make you give in.

"I'll tell you the basics," you say quietly, removing yourself from him. You choose to sit back in your chair, Minho getting comfortable on the couch.

"I always imagined myself getting married, having the best night of my life with the one I loved more than anything. I never thought it would be so scary," you begin, closing your eyes.

Images flood your mind; you in front of a floor-length mirror dressed in white, him behind you, pulling your hair back and breathing in your ear. He didn't have to say anything, just gave you that look. Clueless to your plan, he kisses your neck, whispering about how happy he was to finally have you forever. That if you broke this promise, something bad was sure to happen.

"You're mine," a shiver runs down your spine. "Only mine. Understand?"

Blinking back tears, you nod.

"Words, darling."

"Only yours," you whisper, and he smiles. "Always yours."

Pressing a final kiss to your temple, he leaves you alone in the dressing room. Finally, you let yourself break, falling onto your knees with a hand over your mouth to attempt to stifle your sobs. Makeup runs down your cheeks, and you can't breathe.

Someone steps into your room, lets out a gasp; they're by your side in an instant. Through your tears you can barely process Yeji trying to talk to you, trying to calm you down. Eventually your sobs lessen, her hand rubbing soothing circles on your back.

"Hyun's outside in the car when you're ready," she gives you a firm look. "Are you sure you want this?"

Her eyes are sad, knowing there may be a chance she'll never see you again. She was the only one who knew everything. Of course, you told Minho some stuff, mostly when he pressed you for an answer, but there were things you couldn't share. If you told him, he'd probably end up in jail.

"...then I left with Hyunjin."

Silence. Minho doesn't speak when you finish, just looks at you unblinking. You can't tell what he's thinking, but his fists are clenched at his sides. Shaking his head, he lets out a sharp breath.

"What?" You question. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that if I ever see that guy again, he's dead."

"...this is exactly why I never told you any of this." You can't help but laugh, and he stares at you harder. "As long as I'm here, neither of us should be seeing Yeonjun for a very long time."

Minho looks at you. "You said his name."

"Yeah..." You didn't even realize. "I guess I did."

Quiet settles between you two, less suffocating this time around. Sunlight peeks over the horizon, lighting up the room ever so slightly, and you realize just how tired you are. Yawning, you move over to the couch, draping your legs over Minho's lap. He makes a noise, pretending to shove you off, but you know he doesn't mind if it's you.

A few hours pass before you wake again, and the warmth of Minho is gone. Before you can wonder where he is, the smell of food wafts up the stairs- he's making breakfast. You stretch, wrap the blanket Minho must have put on your during the night around your shoulder, and head down.

"Morning sunshine," you yawn again as he scrapes the eggs onto a plate. "You literally have no food, so you better be happy with eggs again."

Waving him off, you sit, and he brings the plate over. This time, there's toast too, with the slightest bit of jam over it. He brings a matching plate over, sitting across from you this time. You think of last night, the heavy feeling in your chest seeing him again.

"You couldn't have used more jam?"

"No, actually, because like I said before you literally have no food," he rolls his eyes. "I used the rest up."

"We can go out today. Assess the damage of the storm." The eggs are hot, and you burn your tongue on an eager bite. Minho laughs at you. "Shut up." You make sure to blow on your next bite. "People usually are out helping others clear debris after a storm like that, but powerlines might be down more in town, so we have to be careful."

-

The roads are covered in bits of sticks and leaves, but the damage is surprisingly small. A branch fell onto a local shop, so most attention was focused there, allowing you and Minho to pass through nearly unnoticed.

Nearly.

"Oh, Y/n darling, who's your friend?" Mrs. Yang walks over to you slowly, her grandson close behind. "I've never seen him before. Are you new to town?"

"Ah-" Minho glances between you and the little old lady. "Just visiting."

"Well, you should come by sometime," she looks him up and down, a sly smile on her face. "Are you single?"

A blush spreads over Minho's cheeks. You stifle a laugh, he clears his throat, thoroughly embarrassed. Mrs. Yang spots his arm linked through yours.

"Oh! Y/n, you're not as lonely as I thought," she chuckles. Jeongin looks uncomfortable. "Although I thought you were with that boy over at the café... ah, I suppose I can be wrong sometimes." Your eyes grow wide when she winks at you. "I'll see you around, dear. My husband is over at the shop today doing small repairs, the stubborn old fool, so don't worry about coming in later. He really should call someone to do it for him..."

She mumbles the rest of her sentence, holding onto Jeongin for support as she walks away. You and Minho look at each other. This was definitely a great start to showing him around town. There were a lot of places closed up after the storm, so you couldn't show him much, but you stopped outside the little store you worked at.

"There's Mr. Yang," you say, pointing inside. "I don't know him very well, but he's a good boss I guess."

The one place you avoid is the café, but it looms ahead. Although you're sure Chan has probably forgotten about your little, ah, moment, it lingers in your mind. There was no reasonable explanation for his behaviour, or for the letter, or for your laptop becoming sentient, or-

"Helloooo, Earth to Y/n?" Minho grabs your hand, giving you a weird look. "There you are. I'm hungry."

"Hi hungry I'm-"

"Shut up." Letting go of your hand, he smacks your arm playfully. "The only place I can see nearby that seems to sell food is that guys café."

"That guy has a name," you roll your eyes. "I don't really want to go there..."

"Aren't you like.. a thing? Why wouldn't you want to go?

"We're not- we are not a thing!" You blush, looking away with a huff. "Whatever, fine, let's go."

Walking in, you order quickly and take a seat by the window looking out to the road. There's an unusual amount of people in here, but Chan is nowhere to be seen. Part of you wants to ask the young cashier where he is, but she's too busy. Your order takes a while to arrive, giving you and Minho lots of time to stew in awkward silence. It shouldn't be so weird still, him being here, but you could barely look at him right now.

"Here you go." The waiter brings your plates and drinks, then faces you directly. "Um, the manager- er- Chan, wanted to let you know he might not be able to see you for a while."

"Oh," you're surprised by the sudden comment. "Did he say why?"

"Something about being 'not all there'? I didn't push," they rub their arm anxiously. "Anyway, enjoy your food. It's on the house!"

"Hey wait- aaaand they're gone."

"Smells delicious." Minho takes a forkful, waving it in front of his nose.

"You're just not gonna even acknowledge what that kid said?" He shrugs. "Unbelievable."

"Y/n I can barely wrap my head around anything that's happened in the past 24 hours, forgive me if I let the waiter's weird message for you slide." He takes another bite. "Besides, is it really that weird? Maybe he's just freaked out by you. Chan, not the kid."

You freeze. Maybe he's just freaked out by you.

"Babe, you're a fucking freak," his words ring in your ears. "Seriously. You should be happy I choose to stay with you, 'cause otherwise, you'd be all on your own. Really a pathetic way to live, huh?"

And you can't breathe, fingers turning white by how hard you're gripping the cushion of your seat. But Minho doesn't notice, continuing to eat like he didn't just remind you of everything wrong with you.

●

notes • it is 6am and now that this is done, i'm going back to sleep

taglist • @yongbbokkie @chaeryred @tenebrisirae @toplinelix @chansdoll @amaranth-writing @3rachachoo @linosjureumi @thebrownemo @tfshouldidohere @channie-143

TAGLIST CLOSED ^^^blue means i can't tag you

[so-long-soldier28]

Idk if this makes sense but thoughts on ceo Kai parker with assistant reader???

are you ready for my longest response to an ask yet? because here it is...

so i'm currently working on a bonkai with a workplace AU that i've admittedly forgotten about that was requested in october. but working on that gave me inspo for this... and then i took it in a whole 'nother direction

fluff & smut below!

this could go 2 ways (or it could include both)

we've got the one where he's super sweet on her.

or we have him teasing & being super sexual until she gives in.

we also have possibilities for the reader to be more shy or more confident, and that majorly changes things.

kai will be kai no matter what, but there will be variation in how he reacts to her.

if she's more shy, i think he'd be a lot more teasing with her. gentle, bc he doesn't want to scare her off, but definitely pushes sometimes.

if she's more confident, he would be taken aback (and definitely turned on) from that. he recognizes that she won't take shit from anyone & respects that about her.

with the shy reader, her co-workers sometimes do try to take advantage of her, but he snaps back at them & checks on her after.

shy reader

he instantly has a liking towards you.

you're quiet and respectful, but do your job well.

you do things in a timely manner & treat others appropriately.

going above and beyond to make his job easier.

kai, at first, doesn't want to overstep your boundaries.

he's gentle towards you & thankful for your hard work. is very appreciative.

calls you names like "darling," and "sweetheart," or even "peach," that always make you blush.

he means it as innocently as you receive it.

… at first.

with time, feelings grow.

you both push them down to maintain a professional work environment, and even go as far as to deny they are there at all.

there's talk in the office, but no one is bold enough to mention it. plus, there's no proof of anything between you guys.

hold on, i have a side story for this, since it's december, and this just sounds so cute to me.

okay so kai has a holiday party he has to attend, but no one close enough in his life to bring as a plus one.

his mother demands he brings someone, and if he doesn't, she'll set him up with her best friend's daughter.

kai doesn't want to get stuck in that awkward situation, so right before break, he asks a huge, huge favor of you.

"i'm, uh, not quite sure how to ask this, y/n, but i have a huge favor to ask of you."

"anything you need."

"it's okay to say no, i completely understand if you don't want to, it's totally your choice."

you giggle, closing your eyes, and his heart races. "i'm sure it's fine."

he grimaces, "would you mind accompanying me as my plus one to a holiday party? it's on the 23rd and local, only about thirty minutes away. it's just between friends and family, but if i don't have a plus one, my mother will set me up…. i just… actually, this is, i shouldn't have asked. i'm sorry, y/n."

you're surprised at first, a little confused, but not ready to reject the offer. your boss begins to ramble about how inappropriate it was of him to ask, and while he may be right, you don't want him to be in such a situation with his mother. you know how family can be.

"sure, i'll go with you."

"i'm- wait, what?"

"if the offer still stands, i'll be happy to go."

he stops. "you're positive?"

"just give me the time and place."

kai does more than that. when he tells you the dress code (relatively fancy), he offers to buy you a dress, but you say you already have one. he then picks you up at your apartment and immediately compliments the dress you wear. he notices your eyes, and how well your makeup compliments their color. his eyes linger on your lips, bold with a shade of red. he tries not to look at your body, but sneaks a glance that you totally catch.

he insists on driving you to the event, and gives you a rundown on the attendees on the way. those in his family who are crazy and that you should avoid, those to whom he's closest, those who have a weak understanding of personal space, and those who will not come within six feet of an unknown person. he tells you about his favorite cousin and the questions he may ask. he prepares a speech about you being his assistant, and not a girlfriend. you practice this speech together, bouncing off one another, about when you started, what you do, and how appreciative he is of your help.

you expect his mother to be stern and strict, but when you meet her, she turns out to be a very sweet lady, despite her high expectations for her family.

she's clearly not convinced that you're a work friend / assistant and not his girlfriend, and no one in his family is convinced, either.

he takes you around the house, introducing you to the necessary people, but never lingers in any one group for long. he knows you're shy and this must be difficult.

after you finish introductions, he pulls you into the garage to check on you.

"doing alright, darling? i know my family is huge. just take a moment to breathe."

you're thankful for this, and hold his hands while taking deep breaths.

after you settle, he promises food and brings you to the snack table.

there's no judgement about how much you eat; no one comments about you eating too much or too little.

alcohol is offered, and you grab a drink only to calm your nerves. he drinks one to "tolerate family" but promises it won't affect his driving later that night. promises, right there, to keep you safe. you believe him completely.

after snacking for a while (and being thankful it's not a sit down dinner), you go back to talking with his family.

you sit on the couch with a couple aunts as one plays a piano. to your left, kai talks to one of his nephews, no older than six, and your heart warms at the sight.

one of his aunts enters and comments he's next to have kids, then looks at you.

the two of you erupt into your "coworkers, not dating" spiel, and she scoffs with a roll of her eyes. "could've fooled me."

neither of you look at each other after that for a moment. you turn back to the conversation you were in, but his nephew runs off, leaving him alone.

kai watches you talk to his family. all those buried feelings rise to the surface and his throat dries. he takes a second look at how beautiful you are. your smile, despite however tired you must feel, respectfully never falters. your small fingers grasp your cup, once filled with a festive party drink, now with coffee as the end of the night draws near. your dress fits your frame perfectly, and your heels match the exact shade of your dress.

several members of his family catch him staring. his nephew whispers something about love in his ear. he hushes the child quickly, but his tinted cheeks give him away.

kai isn't the only one caught staring, though. his mother watched you visibly sigh at the sight of him with his nephew, a smile tugging on your lips. his father saw the way you relaxed when he brought you away to the kitchen, checking on you a second time. his cousin heard the stutter when you told him kai was just your boss and that there was nothing going on between you two.

when the party isn't filled with talking and laughter, the silence is filled with lingering stares. bated breaths and twinkling eyes. the urge to cross the line between a boss and his assistant.

you disappear for a couple minutes to help his mother clean up after the party. kai talks with his father about "business" but you wonder if that's really the topic.

his mother is nosy, but polite about it. she asks about work and asks if he treats you well on the clock. you reply that he certainly does, and that you're grateful to have a boss that cares about you like he does.

she then double-checks that you're not really dating, and doesn't miss the cloud of sadness in your eyes when you insist that you are not.

she then tells you he's been single for a while because trust doesn't come easy to him. she mentions the blueness of his eyes. how it's been a bright, baby blue all night; a stark contrast to the gray tinted blue she's grown used to seeing. she doesn't elaborate the reasoning, but you don't need her to to know what she's hinting.

by the time you leave the party, most of his relatives have grown comfortable enough with you to hug. the six-feet apart one gives a wave. his mother's hug is the tightest; his father gives a firm handshake, but then draws you in for his own hug. his nieces and nephews attach to your legs and make you promise to see them again. you agree, not wanting to break their little hearts.

it's dark by the time you begin to drive home, and it has been for a while.

kai wants to hold your hand in the center console. he refrains. you rest your elbow there, hands close, but not touching.

you rehash the night, speaking highly of his family. he checks up on you a third time to make sure you're not overwhelmed, but to your own surprise, you feel okay. happy, even.

he apologizes for anything his aunts or mother might've said, but you promise every conversation was good.

eventually, the mention of the various comments came up. a count of how many times you had to tell people you were just friends, co-workers, and not dating. you share a laugh over it, but the walls are down already. whatever feelings had been buried have now resurfaced. kai internally curses himself, afraid of your reaction.

your mouth opens to say something, and his throat goes dry again. his heart would break if you are uncomfortable by it all.

"thanks for the invite, but i think i should transfer," he fears, "we shouldn't work together any more".

instead, you turn to him. "thank you for the invite. i had a good time."

"thank you for accompanying me."

it's silent for the last couple minutes, then he walks you to the door of your apartment. he stands outside, forcing words out of his throat while you stand in front of him, bathed in the gorgeous warm glow of your porch light.

"thank you again. i'm glad my mother didn't scare you off. it would've been so boring without you. see you at work."

you nod, "see you at work," but then as he turns to leave, you can't bear to let him go. you reach out to grab his coat and he turns. you make up an excuse about his scarf not being straight, though that doesn't really matter, and in the next second, you pull on it gently to bring him closer to you.

his eyes dart down to the grip on the wool between your fingers, and then to your face. you wear an expression equal of shyness and determination. he translates it into the consent he needs to cup your face in his hands and press his lips to yours.

warmth travels throughout both your bodies immediately. the kiss deepens to you pulling his coat closer, his steps forward, backing you into the wall behind you. he kicks your door shut and your hands bury into his hair.

kai's hands start to feel your body, but then he breaks it off. he doesn't want you to think he's only wanting you sexually. he wants something real. he's wanted it for ages.

he admits this. you shyly, admit you feel the same.

but while sex is put on pause, kai locks his car and you invite him in. you share a glass of wine and spend the night talking, growing closer.

the next day at work, it's hard to hide your blushing faces and giddy attitudes. all of your co-workers know immediately, but they also saw it coming for a long time. a couple congratulate you, some ignore the lovesickness like it's a disease, but no one makes a fuss.

maybe kai will be the next in his family to have kids after all. you're certain you've found something good with him, and you're determined to keep it.

now, onto a different path where i could take this idea… get ready, because this is a complete 180 degrees from the previous little bit.

ceo kai with a respectful yet confident assistant.

something is definitely brewing between these two. there are feelings to be felt. …even if neither of you recognize them yet.

kai is incredibly protective over you. you are his assistant, and if anyone needs your help, they must ask him first.

he doesn't want you being overworked or taken advantage of.

you also defend him when co-workers talk shit.

"i don't know why boss is making us do this stupid shit," someone complained once, "it's not like it matters, it's extra work."

"it's in your best interest to complete the task assigned to you. it'll make your job ten times easier when quarterlies roll around."

the coworker rolls her eyes, but kai, who could hear from his open-door office, smiles to himself. he's glad you see the tasks he assigns have purpose, and is grateful for you to try and help others to see that.

there are rumors going around that you sleep together, but he shuts them down immediately.

it's not even on your minds to have a relationship outside of work.

until that one night where he asked you to stay late to help him finish something.

you had seemingly hundreds of paper stacks to grow through, and he was on phone call after phone call.

he ordered food at some point for the two of you, wanting to take care of you since he was needing your help.

you're always eager to help, and even though it's a lot of work, promise to help until the job is done.

when it happened, it was an accident. a complete and total accident.

kai had been watching you sort through papers for too long and didn't even notice he was growing hard until he had to shift.

you looked so beautiful from where he was sitting. hair, once neatly tied up in a bun, now messily falling around your face. your shirt sunk further down every time you stretched to grab something on the other side of the table, exposing your chest a little more each time. your heels were kicked off to the side, and one foot was tucked under your lap.

earlier, he had asked you to enter the room whenever his phone went off to come and take notes.

on your way in, you accidentally make eye contact with the bulge that formed underneath the table.

that phone call is a particularly difficult one to focus on.

after it, you try to shuffle out of the room to give him privacy, but he knows you know and asks you to stay so he can apologize.

he accidentally gives tmi and talks about how it's been so long, and being there with you, looking so beautiful, got him worked up.

instead of shying away, you offer to help rid him of the problem.

not a lot of words are spoken, but somehow you find yourself giving him a bj under the desk.

he's so focused on your doe eyes and the shape of your lips and the way your mouth feels on him. your hands grasp his length & squeeze with the perfect amount of pressure. you jerk off what you can't fit. a string of drool connects your lip to his cock when you pull off for just a moment to admire him. his hands dig in your hair and urge you on, but he doesn't push. never pushes.

quiet moans escape his lips between praises, but you ask him to be louder for you, craving to hear the sounds he's holding back.

getting him off earlier than he expected, and you swallow it before it can hit the floor and leave evidence.

he then pulls you up on the desk, welcomes a kiss, and then moves down to taste you.

feelings he held back & feelings you didn't know you had come bursting out of the floodgates, making for an emotional experience combined with pent-up sexual desire.

supports your back as you come down from your orgasmic high, and fucks you on the desk as soon as his refractory period is over.

has impressive sex drive and says he spent most of his early twenties studying to prove himself.

now reaps the rewards with not only a high-up position, but a perfect assistant.

no motivation for work afterwards. enjoy the rest of your takeout and then he makes sure you get home safely.

the next couple days are awkward until he finally requests you to his office to talk about it.

this talk includes feelings that you had time, by now, to mull over. you both share them and find you feel the same thing for each other.

decide to try a hand at a relationship, starting slowly and keeping it on the down low (minus HR).

grow more comfortable with it & it blossoms into something good & healthy for you both.

now, a handful of smutty office scenarios to shuffle through. i can certainly expand on any of these upon request ;) (or i might anyway)

fooling around after hours. him laying you down across the desk or over top of it. having you on his lap while he answers phone calls.

blowing him under the desk when he's trying to focus on an important call.

sending him dirty texts or nudes from the bathroom when you're both supposed to be working.

itching for your lunch break to come already so he can finally have his way with you.

maybe even being so bold to snap the blinds shut, slap a hand over your mouth, and take you during work hours bc you wouldn't stop teasing. your co-workers all know exactly what's happening, but have lost the will to care.

retrieving him coffee but accidentally spilling it in his lap & trying to dry it with a thin paper towel.

wearing short skirts or low tops on purpose for him.

accidentally sending him a nude that was meant for a tinder date & having to talk about it the next day.

brushing past him on your way back to your seat & getting a little too close - on purpose or on accident.

rubbing your foot on him under the desk whenever you sit across from him.

and that's all i have for now! i'm deeply considering making that holiday party a one-shot, maybe, or taking these other scenarios and expanding on them. i also have way more ideas for this topic but made myself stop because i'm pretty sure this response hit 3k words.

[talesofesther]

play our record, just one more time | ch 1

Eddie Munson x Reader

Series Summary: Your dreams know the sound of his voice, even if you haven't heard it closely in years. His fingertips still tingle when they remember the feeling of your skin, like a poorly healed scar. Or, the story of how you and Eddie fell apart, and found each other again.

A/N: First part of… I don't know how many honestly, this story will literally be me going with the flow, mostly. I will try to keep updates regular, focus on try. In any way, really hope you like it, let me know. <3

Masterlist

1976

"You sure you got everything?" Wayne called out, leaning against the front door of his trailer.

A little ten-year-old Eddie came running from his new room, big backpack bouncing on his back, missing a tooth on his infectious smile. His dark locks just about started to curl around the shell of his ear; "yeah, I did."

Wayne frowned as he looked down at his nephew, one of his hands reaching out to tug on the sleeve of Eddie's shirt. "Did you… is this on backwards boy?"

Eddie glanced down at his chest, muttering a soft; "shit," he dropped his bag on the floor and quickly pulled his black shirt off and on again.

The morning sun stung Wayne's eyes, he rubbed at his lashes with his fingers, still exhausted from his night shift. "I'm not cut out for this," he grumbled to himself.

"Sorry uncle Wayne, I won't do it again," Eddie's small voice was quick to say, looking up at him with his big chocolate eyes.

"Nah it's," Wayne sighed, looking down at the boy, at how he already expected a scolding, "s'not your fault boy, come on," he ruffled Eddie's tiny dark curls and walked out to his car, Eddie tailing behind him.

It would take some time for Wayne to get used to dropping Eddie at school every morning before work, making him breakfast, or patching up his scraped knees and going to school meetings because he was now his legal guardian. He never wanted to be a father, but the poor boy deserved one for a change; plus it did feel nice to watch him run off to school just to turn back immediately because he forgot to say goodbye.

Eddie barged through the school doors with purpose, too focused on finding his best friend to notice the lingering looks of his classmates. He met you just about a year ago, after finding a little note on his backpack of you asking if he wanted to sit with you on lunch instead of sitting alone, and since then you'd been attached to the hip with each other.

He spotted you beside your locker, mismatched socks high on your ankles and a bright purple baseball cap on your head, waving frantically at him and already calling out his name. You always greeted him with a quick hug and a; you won't believe what happened this weekend.

More likely than not, it was just a tale of how your dog ate another shoe. But Eddie loved to hear about it nonetheless.

"So you're staying with your uncle now?" You asked, now walking side by side with Eddie, in no hurry to get to your classroom even though the bell had already rung.

Eddie nodded, hands clasping his backpack straps; "yeah, dad left with his friends one night, and uncle Wayne came to pick me up a few days later, he says I'll be staying with him until dad gets back."

You hummed, your sneakers scratching the recently mopped school hallway, "that's good, your dad was kinda mean, is uncle Wayne cooler?"

"Yeah he is," Eddie beamed, innocent excitement bouncing off of him, "he lets me stay up at night until whenever I want and doesn't cut my hair, he said I can let it grow if I want to. Oh and I think he likes good music too."

"Cool," you chuckled, "we should look through his tapes when he's not home to see what he listens to."

"You can come back with me tomorrow after school," Eddie smiled.

"I'll ask my mom, but I'm sure she'll say yes," your shoulder bumped his as you walked. "It'll be fun."

Eddie slowed his steps when he spotted your classroom door, his smile fading slightly. "I miss my dad though, he wasn't the nicest but I didn't want him to leave like mom."

You stopped walking just short of reaching your classroom, at a total loss of how you should comfort someone but wanting to do it anyway. "Um… I'm sure he'll be back, no one would want to leave you, you're too cool. You should write him a letter, let him know you miss him."

A familiar prickling feeling behind his eyes made Eddie bite his lip, "will you help?"

"Sure, we can do it tomorrow too," you agreed, turning to take a step toward your art class but a hand on your wrist stopped you.

Eddie's cheeks turned pink, he let go of you just as quickly as he had reached out. "We- we'll never stop being friends, right?"

"Of course not," you didn't hesitate, words slipping off your tongue easily, "you're my best friend, we'll always be together."

Pursing his lips, Eddie lifted his hand with his pinkie pointing to you. "Promise?" He asked, tone all too pleading for someone this young.

You hooked your pinkie with his, an oath as easy as breathing; "promise."

1977

Only almost a year after the letter was sent, that Eddie's father emerged from the darkness. Wayne was about to kick him out of the house when Eddie walked in. The happiness of seeing his father again spoke louder than the anger of being left alone for a year, louder than all the pain from before.

His father stayed for a week, and even if Eddie's wrist was a little bruised from that one time he almost opened a bag he wasn't supposed to touch, the boy was happy.

He stayed for a week. And then he never came back again.

1978

You saw Eddie cry for the first time when your teacher suggested a father's day project. He had tears silently streaming down his face before he even realized it, you dragged him out of class before anyone could see and make fun of it. He bunched your shirt in his fists and soaked it in tears in the hallway.

From your insistence, Eddie made his gift for Wayne. That was also the first time you saw his uncle cry.

1979

Eddie formed a band with his new friends. You're sneaking into the cheerleading practice.

You don't miss a single one of his band's rehearsals. Eddie distracts the gym teacher for you and tells you to join the cheer team when you get to high school.

1980

You and Wayne put together enough money to buy the burgundy guitar that Eddie had been drooling over for months now.

Eddie gives you your first kiss. It tasted like ice cream, under the sun of a hot summer day and the low tune of I Was Made For Lovin' You playing on Wayne's car. You both laughed afterward, fingers all sticky and cheeks all hot and skin tingling even after you got home.

1981

You and Eddie have your first big fight after he insulted the basketball players. You had just made the cheerleading team; the rumors were already going around about the new girl who was friends with the troublemaker.

Later that day you found Eddie sulking at the lonely picnic table in the woods. You made up; with a bag of his favorite snacks and a cuddle session you never spoke about afterward. A weird weight sits in the air between you after that.

1982, January

A boy asked you to be his girlfriend. It wasn't Eddie. You said yes, because it felt exciting, and your new friends said he was the cutest boy in your class.

Your new boyfriend doesn't like Eddie, calls him a weirdo and a freak. The word has a bitter taste, you hate it. But Eddie's all black leather jackets, metal music, and long hair now; and you're all soft pink lipstick, plush cheer pom poms, and weekend partying now. You never tell your boyfriend or your cheerleading friends otherwise, even though you should.

Eddie doesn't like your new boyfriend. He says he's just a stuck-up jock and you can do much better. You don't ask him who would be the better option, even though you want to.

Eddie doesn't sit with you in the cafeteria anymore, he settles for a halfhearted nod whenever you smile his way. He does still give you a ride home and lets you in his room to hear him practice guitar though. It's like he's two different people inside and outside of school.

1982, August

Days in which you don't speak to Eddie at all are starting to become a new normal.

Eddie thinks you see him the same way everyone else does now. A freak, someone to coil away from in disgust. Of all people, you were the last one he expected would do this. Maybe that's why it was so painful. He feels betrayed, so he wears his armor around the person who's seen him in his most vulnerable more than once. It feels wrong. But that's all he knows.

You think Eddie is being petty. You think it's unfair that he can't accept your new friends, that he doesn't want you to hang out with other people or have a boyfriend who just so happens to play in the school's team. You can't help but think that the insults he throws at them, are meant for you too.

You two don't talk much anymore; except for birthday wishes and the few nights you go to watch him play at The Hideout.

Eddie doesn't tell you that he'd never say a single bad thing about you. Not you. Never you.

You don't tell him that he could never be anything other than the sweet boy with chocolate eyes for you.

1984

Eddie is more of a stranger than a friend.

It's foolish, because it's hurting both of you.

You graduated and he got held back, it didn't make much of a difference, you haven't spoken to each other in more than a year.

1986, March

"We have also identified a person of interest. Eddie Munson. We encourage anyone with information to please come forward."

Your spoonful of cereal stopped midway before reaching your mouth as you heard the voice of the chief of police on your television, saying the name of the person who once used to share all his secrets with you, and blaming him for fucking murders.

Before you register what you were doing, you were already dialing Eddie's phone number, your heart threatening to leap out of your chest every time the line rang and no one picked up. When you slammed the phone back on your wall, you felt sick to your stomach, almost puking the little bit of the cereal you managed to eat.

No one knew where Eddie was. You searched, even if you were probably the last person he wanted to see.

Only a couple weeks later, after the earthquakes, after Eddie's name was cleared, you finally had a glimpse of him. From far away you saw bandages on his exposed skin — you wondered what happened, part of you wanted to run to him — and even so, he was carrying a cardboard box over to the gymnasium, helping those who lost their homes in the destruction.

For the first time then, you could breathe again, knowing he was okay. Despite it all, Eddie would always have a piece of your heart.

1986, November

"Absolutely not," you said with an edge on your tone, carrying a stack of freshly returned movies in your arms as you walked around the counter to put them back in place.

Monday's were definitely the slowest day in Family Video, usually, the only thing happening was customers returning the movies from the weekend.

"Y/N please, I've already talked to Keith and after pretty much I and Robin begged on our knees, he agreed to it," Steve tailed behind you, the red neon sign on the back wall shining against his cinnamon hair and green vest, "under the one condition of you watching him for the first days, that's all I'm asking and I'll make it up to you I promise." He finished with a plead, clasping his hands together and giving you his best puppy eyes.

You groaned, leaning back against one of the movie posters on the wall, you did always have a weakness for a pretty boy with brown eyes, "Stevie, it's not that I don't want to help, I just have a lot on my plate already, with the arcade and here." It was true, because you happened to be Keith's cousin, you were the one he trusted most to overlook both places while he was absent, which honestly, was most days. But you didn't tell Steve that he was asking you to watch over the same boy who counted stars with you on an empty lot of the trailer park, the same boy who left a hole in your heart that was yet to be filled. It was all kinds of messy and all kinds of complicated and, of course, it was just your luck that your friends — and coworkers — were now also besties with him. But no one needed to know that, whatever it was that happened between you and Eddie, belongs in the past.

"I know, listen, I know. But Robin and I are gonna help however we can-"

"Why can't one of you do it, anyway?"

Steve huffed, placing one hand on his waist, "some bullshit about how our judgment won't be fair because we're friends, you know how Keith is with these things." He chewed on the side of his cheek for a second, weighing his words, "listen he- Eddie, he's been through a lot, and now that he finally managed to graduate he needs a stable job and… with his history, you can imagine how just about no one will hire."

The wound was still fresh in most of Hawkins, the murders, the false accusations that just about doomed the poor boy, plus the town was still rebuilding, still healing; Steve talks about it as if you didn't know, as if you hadn't seen and worried first hand about it. You don't let it show on your face how much his words freeze your insides.

"This fucking town," you grumbled.

Steve snorted, "tell me about it."

You nag on your bottom lip with your teeth, almost drawing blood. Your stomach is twisting and turning, you're in front of a crossroad and with no idea in which way to turn. But regardless of the road you take, you know it'll be a path you can't walk back from.

Somehow, you think, you've probably made your decision as soon as Steve first asked you. He's right, Eddie has already suffered way too much. You know he won't be happy to see you, let alone work with you, and you're not thrilled about it either. But you made a promise long ago that you intend on keeping.

"Alright, whatever, I'll do it." Damn you and your soft heart.

⋆*☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Read Part 2 here

Feedback and reblogs are very much appreciated. <3

Eddie’s taglist: @milkiane @bookfrog242 @alicefallsintotherabbithole @science--hoes @cherrypieyourface @tssf-imagines @astream-ofconsciousness @fentyreligion @fantasylovestoryme @justabeautiful-letdown @crazyrapunzel @yessica41 @dancing-hillary @bakugouswh0r3 @jakebasement @zervopoulouu @forverdaydreamer-blog @fromthedt @oeuryale @mcueveryday @witchbinchstories @call-me-magpie

@loveshineslikethesky @luvmybbies @tvserie-s-world @agirlsguidetolove @hallothankmas @sweetpeapod @forsaken-letters @hazydespair @fangirling-4-ever @electric-cabaret @ollyoxenfrees @twinkofmydreams @paola-carter @masterlistmanic @xceafh @andraimeide @esoltis280 @eddielives1986 @totallynotkaibiased @just-love-reading @murnsondock

[takingchences]

𝐔𝐋𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐩𝐭. 𝟑

A descendant of a legendary quirk longs to separate herself from her family name, but first she'll have to confront villains, ghosts from the past, and her growing attraction for Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight.

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x OP!fem!oc

Warnings: mature language

series masterlist + my masterlist

After a few more exercises, the fitness test was officially over.

"All right, time to give you your results. I've ranked you all from best to worst. You should probably have a good idea of your standing already. I'll just pull up the whole list. It's not worth going over each individual's score."

Momo came in first place, then Shoto, with Bakugou ranked third. Sana found her name in the seventh slot, right above Kirishima's and Mina's. I did it, Sana giggled breathlessly as Mina roped her into a side hug. I passed. But then... who didn't?

Midoriya's name sat at the bottom of the list. The boy cradled his injured hand with a distressed look on his face. Just like that, he's gone? She frowned.

Sure, she understood Aizawa's point about not wanting to waste time and resources on students with no potential, but on the other hand, didn't Midoriya's strength and determination make up for his lack of control? Out of the thousands of applicants, hadn't they been chosen because U.A had seen promise in them?

Their home room teacher clicked a button on his remote, making the holographic rankings disappear. "And I was lying," he said in his lazy drawl. "No one's going home."

Pure silence.

A deranged smile appeared on the Pro's face. "That was just a rational deception to make sure you gave it your all in the tests."

Sana thought Midoriya was going to vibrate right out of his red sneakers from shaking so hard.

The only person who didn't seem surprised by Aizawa's announcement was Momo, who stated that she'd known all along that it was nothing but a ruse.

It didn't seem like an empty threat though, Sana thought as the class stood frozen in front of the disheveled Pro. She remembered the hard look in the man's hooded eyes, his unruffled attitude at the thought of potentially crushing someone's dream. Maybe he realized that the most rational decision would be to wait and see what all we're capable of before making any big decisions.

In contrast to their relief, Bakugou almost seemed disappointed that no one would be going home. Midoriya is still here, so that's not much of a surprise. The explosive blonde seemed to regard everyone he came across either as competition or beneath him in some way, but something was different between the two boys. She wasn't sure if it was a petty rivalry or something more that fueled Bakugo's apparent hatred for the greenette.

"We're done for the day. Pick up a syllabus in the classroom. Read it over before tomorrow morning." Aizawa called as he stalked back towards the main building. Class 1-A, with the exception of Midoriya, headed to the locker rooms to change back into their uniforms.

After grabbing a syllabus and collecting her things, Sana exchanged phone numbers with her new friends. If today is anything to go by, then I think this will be a very interesting year.

¸☾⋆*･ﾟ¸☾⋆*･ﾟ¸☾⋆*

Day two of Sana's high school career started off much better than the first, mainly because her father had already left the house by the time she'd made it downstairs. "Well, that's one less thing to worry about," she hummed pleasantly as she dug into her breakfast.

Today would be her first full day at U.A. She'd be introduced to more Pro Heroes, get to hang out more with Mina and the gang, and most importantly, she'd get to taste the cafeteria food. I wonder what Lunch Rush will be serving today? Sparkles surrounded her at the promise of delicious treats.

"What's got you in such a good mood?" Umi appeared next to her with her hands on her hips. "Is it because of All Might?"

Eh? Sana stopped chewing on her blueberry muffin. "All Might?"

The gray-haired woman looked surprised. "Didn't you hear? There's a rumor going around that U.A offered him a teaching position."

"No, I hadn't heard." Sana shrugged, pinching off another bite of deliciousness and letting the warm pastry melt on her tongue. Umi sweatdropped at the girl's lack of interest in anything but her muffin.

"You know, most kids your age would be thrilled after hearing that they might get to train under the number one hero."

It wasn't that Sana disliked the Symbol of Peace, she just didn't feel the need to worship him like the majority of the world. Maybe it was because she'd heard so much about him growing up under Endeavor, but she preferred less flashy heroes like Best Jeanist and Mirko. She liked Hawks too... though mostly because he was young and hot.

"I hate to be the one to break it to you, Umi, but I'm not like most kids."

A soft pat on the head had Sana tearing her attention away from her breakfast. The old woman had a small smile on her face, but her eyes held only sadness. "Eat up, my little sunflower. You'll need all your strength if All Might is your teacher."

¸☾⋆*･ﾟ¸☾⋆*･ﾟ¸☾⋆*

Besides learning how to react during natural disasters and take down villains, U.A students were also required to take standard core classes like English and Math. After eating lunch with Mina and the rest of the girls of 1-A, it was time for Hero Basic Training.

"I AM HERE!" A boisterous voice announced. "Coming through the door like a hero!" Sana almost snorted at the hulking man lingering in the doorway on the tips of his toes.

The classroom buzzed with excitement in the overwhelming presence of All Might, the Number One hero. "Welcome to the most important class at UA High. Here, you will learn the basics of being a pro."

The Symbol of Peace held out a card with the word "battle" on it.

Sana could practically feel Bakugou's excitement, as well as Midoriya's dread. These two need a larger buffer zone between them than the seat I'm occupying. She placed her chin on her hand. Let's just hope they don't have to go against each other during the exercise. Or worse, team up.

All Might pointed at the wall, where cases with numbers in them were sliding out. "These were designed for you based on your quirk registration forms and the requests you sent in before school started."

After changing out of uniform, the class gathered at Ground Beta for training.

Sana was happy with how her costume turned out. The design was rather simple: a rich, red-plum bodysuit that shimmered in the light. Gold detailing was woven beautifully throughout the suit. Lightweight armored paneling protected the soft tissue along her chest, abs, and back while also acting as cooling jets installed to help regulate her core body temperature. The material itself was breathable, as well as heat and flame resistant. Small diamond cuts of fabric along her body exposed flawless golden skin. The dark color of the fabric would also help her absorb heat.

She'd wanted to wear something beautiful that also embodied what kind of hero she wanted to be. Sana wanted to be seen as a guiding light, a beacon of hope. The deep, pink-purple material sparkled like diamonds in the afternoon sun. She'd also requested a tinted visor to help shield her eyes. Her knee-high boots were more of a fashion statement than anything, though they did nothing to hinder her movements. The thick, sturdy heel was enforced with a bouncy material to make them more comfortable when worn for long periods of time. Some heroes wear capes while others wear heels.

As bonus accessories, she'd been given a pair of three-fingered gloves to wear to prevent accidentally burning a civilian due to the heated nature of her quirk.

She quickly inspected her classmates' costumes. Kirishima had opted out of wearing a shirt, bless his saintly soul. His shredded back muscles and drool-worthy torso were on full display. Momo was showing almost as much skin as the human boulder, if not more. Mina wore a psychedelic-patterned leotard with a fur vest because why not? Shoto's entire left side was covered in ice, with an eerie red light where his turquoise iris would normally be. The sight made her sad.

Iida looked like a cross between a robot and a futuristic knight. Midoriya looked every bit like the All Might fanboy she'd imagined him to be, and Bakugou looked badass with a capital ASS standing there with huge, gauntlet-like contraptions strapped to his forearms.

His toned, athletic physique, which had been hidden away beneath his baggy uniform, was now very noticeable. His chest is bigger than mine, Sana half-joked, her eyes lingering on the bulging muscles of his arms and shoulders as they flexed under the weight of his support gear.

"What the hell are you staring at, dumbass?" Bakugou squinted at her choice of costume. Compared to something as elaborate as his, her's was nothing special to look at. She had no need for support items, so her outfit was pretty basic.

"Your tits," she replied honestly.

His eye twitched in annoyance, a feral, demon-like sound emanating from deep within his chest. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" Heh. Cute.

"Wow! You guys look super manly!" Kirishima greeted the two cheerfully, completely ignoring the blonde's outburst.

"Hey, Sana!" Kaminari slung an arm across her shoulders, pulling her into his chest. Her long, stawberry blonde hair brushed against his shirt. "Do you know what my costume is made of?" His golden eyes stared into her's excitedly.

She shook her head. "Um, no?"

"Boyfriend material." He pinched his collar and winked, a proud grin on his face. Sero and Mina rolled their eyes at the lightning-haired boy as they joined the group.

"Hey, Pikachu." Mina pulled her new bestie out of the blonde's embrace. "Quit trying to steal my girl." Mina nuzzled Sana's cheek with her own, making the Sakano girl laugh.

"They say that clothes make the pros, young ladies and gentlemen, and behold, you are the proof!" All Might cut their conversation short. "Take this to heart. From now on you are all... heroes-in-training!" She noticed All Might shaking with suppressed laughter at Midoriya's obvious inspiration. He could've been a little more subtle with the design, but the overall look was kinda cute. Like a bunny.

"Now that you're ready, it's time for combat training."

"Sir!" Iida raised his hand. "This is the fake city from our entrance exam. Does that mean that we'll be conducting urban battles again?" Again with the entrance exam, Sana sighed. Recommended students are really at a disadvantage here, huh?

"Not quite." The Pro held up two fingers. "I'm going to move you two steps ahead. Most of the villain fights you see on the news take place outside. However, statistically speaking, run‐ins with the most dastardly evildoers take place indoors. Think about it. Backroom deals, home invasions, secret underground lairs. Truly intelligent criminals stay hidden in the shadows." Makes sense, Sana nodded along. The less eyes on you, the more you can get away with. "For this training exercise, you'll be split into teams of good guys and bad guys and fight two‐on‐two indoor battles."

"Isn't this a little advanced?" Tsuyu asked.

"The best training is what you get on the battlefield!" All Might answered. "But remember, you can't just punch a robot this time. You're dealing with actual people now."

"Sir, will you be the one deciding who wins?"

"How much can we hurt the other team?" Of course he would ask that, Sana rolled her eyes.

"Do we need to worry about the losers getting expelled like earlier?"

"Will you be splitting us up based on chance or comparative skill?"

"I wasn't finished talking!" All Might quickly grew flustered with all their questions. He pulled out his notecards and began to read off the rules of today's exercise. "Listen up. The situation is this; the villains have hidden a nuclear missile somewhere in their hideout. The heroes must try to foil their plans. To do that, the good guys either have to catch the evildoers or recover the weapon. Likewise, the bad guys succeed if they protect their payload or capture the heroes." The hero held up a box. "Time's limited, and we'll choose teams by drawing lots!"

"Isn't there a better way?" Iida was doubtful.

"Think about it! Pros often have to team up with heroes from other agencies on the spot, so maybe that's the reason we're seeing that here." Midoriya pointed out the functionality of using this method to pick teams.

"Yes, I see." The speedster realized. "Life is a random series of events. Excuse my rudeness."

"No sweat." All Might assured the teen. "Let's draw!" Each student went up and drew their lots one by one.

Not Shoto, not Shoto, not Shoto. Sana chanted as she placed her hand inside the box. Under normal circumstances, the two made a great team. But she wasn't sure how things would go if they were to be partnered up now. Their dynamic had changed... and not necessarily for the better.

Team I, she read. Glancing around, she eventually found her partner for the day. It was a hard task seeing as the girl was completely invisible except for the pair of gloves and boots to indicate her presence. Hagakure, she remembered from lunch. That's her name.

"I declare that the first teams to fight will be... these guys!" All Might held up two balls. "Team A will be the heroes, Team D will be the villains." Looking at the named groups, Sana nearly choked on air.

Bakugou vs Midoriya.

Well, it was nice knowing you, Midoriya. You will be remembered fondly.

"Everyone else can head to the monitoring room to watch!"

As the rest of the class followed behind the massive hero, Sana hesitated, wanting to say something first. "Hey," she turned to the glowering blonde beside her, his ruby eyes locked in on his target. A determined-looking Midoriya met his gaze head on. "Bakugou."

"What?" He growled, refusing to look her way.

"I know it's none of my business, but the two of you seem to have a history." Sana spoke carefully. Bakugou wasn't the easiest person to talk to, especially when he was worked up about something (that something usually being Midoriya). And though he may not like what she has to say, it was something she felt he needed to hear.

"You're right," Bakugou grunted. "It's not."

Sana's eyes narrowed, her arms crossing over her chest defensively. "Whatever your problems with each other are," she continued. "You need to let it go. At least for the duration of the exercise." Otherwise someone is going to get hurt. She knew from their expressions that both boys were taking this mock battle much too seriously. Idiots. Can't they put aside their issues for fifteen minutes?

"What the hell would you know?! You're just as weak and pathetic as he is!"

She took a step back, her eyes lacking their usual warmth. "Maybe I am," her voice was soft, but with a slight edge to it. Her expression was deadly calm. It gave her a sick satisfying to see his eyes widen if only a fraction. "But I'd rather be like him," she pointed her finger at the greenette watching them in confusion. "Than like you," she shoved that same finger into his firm chest. "Any day. Putting others down to make yourself feel better..."

Her father came to mind, then Enji; images of the two men looming behind the young blonde.

"That is pathetic."

The blonde's fists clenched at his sides. Sana turned on her heel, her pastel hair almost smacking him in the face had he not jerked his head back. Stupid girl, he growled internally, stomping into the building to hide the weapon and start the exercise. Siding with that shitty nerd. I'll show everyone who's really pathetic.

[t4t4t]

God how suicidal Collie is is so exhausting and stressful. She seems more resentful of me the more suicidal she is and unpredictably silly sweet and kind sometimes. I've been trying to be sweet the past few weeks more and it's barely done anything. Idk. Maybe some. I love her so much. I wish I knew how to comfort her. She's so overwhelmed by even basic self care.

She's usually so upset in the mornings. She's so misanthropic. I feel so alone. She keeps saying capitalism makes life not worth living, her body isn't worth living in, there's no worth talking to or making friends with. But then sometimes later she'll make posts and message people, but it seems like she's teasing the world and more wants the attention and compliments than pursuing anything. But that's probably depression and demotivation than arrogance.

"Everyone leave me the fuck alone forever. Disappear."

We're both so lost and alone still.

I can't believe I got bottom surgery at all and I'm worried we won't have rent for next month. She has a surgery date herself 11/13. I have FFS 1/28. If we make it I guess.

She's telling me I need to tell all my friends to kill themselves because it's nothing to me, they're nothing to me, first thing that annoys me, I'll say it she says. I've maybe said it once or twice in the past 6 months, idk everything has been so stressful and confusing and awful. I hate myself. I've been wanting to say it less, say even fuck you less and less. It makes me so sad to be angry

She calls me Ms Kill Yourself, apparently I'm so good at it. She thinks I'm talking to someone rn typing this. She's saying I need to call them worthless. I wish I could grow instead of wallowing in suffering. She says I need to tell all the people I talk to (because I have no friends), "kill yourself, worthless."

I feel like I've made more genuine friends here recently in the past few months than ever being here. I'm supposed to go to some sort of gathering with a few tmrw, someone is making a bunch of vegan food for it for me. I feel so lucky and unlucky rn. I hope she doesn't make it awkward or sad but she probably will.

"You are dead to me. Nothing ever again. I don't want to see you ever again."

I woke up early to go to a food bank and she's saying she won't do shit for me.

So many tears. I wish I knew what to do.

I'll always love her and I'll always hate myself I guess. I love her guitar playing. I wish I had gotten my own guitar ever and she ever taught me anything.

"I'm so happy there's nothing on the other side. Nothing, forever, never been anything more exciting."

"There is nothing to live for." -- I'm confused why she says this. There's so many reasons to live, reasons to die makes more sense. Idk

"Everyone of you are failures. Worthless. Embarrassed to be the same species. What a low thing to be, alive. A higher point would be dead. Would rather be dead, would rather be ashes. I have a kink now, nothing brings me joy like the thought of not being alive. Nothing else will make me happy. I give up."

The friend made a rly good vegan sushi for their birthday party two weeks ago, I'm looking forward to having it again. Idk. I like eating more than she does, she has ARFID for sure.

[allfortzu]

to be lovers

-- nayeon / tzuyu. 1.24k, fluff ; birthdays. MEN DNI.

paris is lonely without a lover, nayeon is lonely without tzuyu.

nayeon decides she'll spend her twenty-eighth birthday alone. 

"you sure you don't wanna do anything?" 

it's not even her birthday yet, but jihyo worries.

and while nayeon appreciates the sentiment of blowing candles and popping streamers at twelve – frankly, all she wants to do now is go home to tzuyu. 

"i'll be fine, really." 

she smiles in earnest, but they both know it's a lie, and they both know tzuyu won't be home waiting for her either. 

jihyo relents. 

"call me when you reach home. i'll drink two beers in your name!" 

nayeon waves her goodbye hastily. 

jihyo has sana to go home to, so she shouldn't be out late anyway. 

nayeon doesn't know if she could stand celebrating her birthday with two insufferable lovebirds either – or, even worse, insufferable lovebirds who get touchy when drunk. 

for the most part, sana and jihyo a cute couple; but now, they're a reminder of nayeon's own lover on the other side of the world. 

miles, countries, oceans away. 

so far that they would never see the sun or the stars at the same time. 

nayeon takes the scenic route home, a walk along the river. she hopes the sky is clear enough on tzuyu's side that she can see the faint glow of a morning moon, at least. 

her phone buzzes just as she thinks it – 

a baby blue heart beside a nickname only she knows, a profile with a picture she took of tzuyu herself. 

tzuyu

thinking about you 

maybe they're looking at the same moon, after all. 

nayeon

how did you know i was thinking about you too?

nayeon finds a bench, if only to properly savour the moment. she giggles when she sees the message again, and her heart both aches and flutters. 

tzuyu

i'm always thinking about you, but… 

maybe it's a girlfriend thing :)

nayeon doesn't stop the silly smile that spreads over her cheeks.  

nayeon

shouldn't you be at work now? 

tzuyu

i took a day off 

for a special occasion

;)

nayeon

oh?

considering the nature of tzuyu's job as a model, nayeon didn't know she could take days off so easily during fashion week. it's arguably the worst part of her birthdays.

but the effort remains – i’ll do all this for your birthday. 

nayeon

don’t they plan your schedules out months in advance?

tzuyu

i told them i was sick

which was definitely not planned 

cute, nayeon thinks, the edges of her lips tugging upwards. girlfriend things. 

nayeon

surely my tzuyu wouldn't lie

tzuyu

never!

i'm coughing as we speak 

cough 

and then i'll never have to work again and go to dumb fashion weeks on my girlfriend's birthday

the reminder makes nayeon pout. 

nayeon

you'll be home in a month right?

we can celebrate then

together :)

tzuyu

but i wanna celebrate with you today

the whole week actually 

i'll take a break and stay at home with you forever 

it's 11:50 pm now, and nayeon wishes tzuyu would stop giving her false hope. 

nayeon

you're making me miss you a lot

tzuyu

i miss you too…

call me?

i miss your voice 

nayeon doesn't waste any time making tzuyu wait. 

she picks up in one ring. 

"hey, lover," nayeon says, voice low. 

tzuyu giggles – this is what love sounds like, nayeon thinks. the sound of tzuyu laughing because of her. 

"i like it when you call me that."

tzuyu’s voice is muffled by an electronic hum, frequency altered, but it's infinitely better than nothing. 

"i know." 

nayeon folds her legs up and watches the moon's reflection in the water. it almost feels like tzuyu is beside her. 

"come home and i'll say it to you everyday." 

"hm, i might just come home right now.”

there's a shuffling of fabric, cloth brushing against cloth. tzuyu walking somewhere. 

nayeon is about to ask, but tzuyu asks first. 

"where are you? i hear wind." 

the night breeze grows, and the moon's reflection breaks from the gust. 

"outside, by the river." 

then, knowing tzuyu would worry: "i promise i'll go home soon." – but home feels empty without you.

there's more moving on tzuyu's end, footsteps on pavement and laboured breathing. nayeon wonders if she's busy, or if she's suddenly decided to take a brisk jog.

"are you outside, too?" 

"yeah," tzuyu breathes out. "i… remembered there's a river nearby here." 

nayeon laughs. "are we going to sit by the river together?" 

"exactly that."

and tzuyu laughs too, maybe because it sounds a little silly. 

so what if it is?

in nayeon's mind, tzuyu is running towards her. 

they’re watching the water together, the same water in front of nayeon that'll somehow make it's way to where tzuyu is. 

tzuyu will say happy birthday once it hits twelve.

she's never missed it.

“stay where you are.”

nayeon checks the time. 

"it's 11:58 now… you think you'll reach in time?" 

tzuyu's panting seems to slow. nayeon hears nothing but wind and water. the breeze calms, the waves lap gently. 

"well… i'm at a river. can you check if it's the right one?" 

nayeon let's out a snicker. "if it's all the way in europe, i think it's the wrong river." 

tzuyu doesn't reply, not yet. 

the moon's reflection stills, and nayeon can make out it’s full circle once again. 

silence hangs in the air, but everything is clear and bright. 

almost like tzuyu’s right next to her. 

"what if it's the one you're at?" 

nayeon hears it more clearly than she can imagine. 

the call has long ended, but tzuyu's voice rings without it. 

less than a country, less than an ocean. 

less than ten steps away. 

nayeon's legs move immediately.

five steps.

two…

one.

tzuyu.

and she hears her giggle, full and bright and clear.

"it's twelve now… i think i'm right on time?" 

nayeon holds her like she'd never left before. 

"happy birthday, lover." 

lover, all of their affections and fondness and love in a single word. 

"how– ?" 

"it’s a secret,” tzuyu hums, in the mischievious way she often does. “i told you i’d come back now, didn’t i?" 

something in between a sob and a whine slips out from nayeon's throat. 

she punches tzuyu's arm weakly, a barrage of scolding to ensue – "why didn't you tell me! i would've gone home! you didn't have to run here!" – but tzuyu only laughs and pulls her closer. 

nayeon let's herself be cuddled, even if she hasn’t quite grasped the reality of it. her hiccups stifle in tzuyu's chest, and her cheek presses against tzuyu’s heart.

"i meant it, you know," tzuyu whispers into her hair. "i'll take a break and spend it all with you." 

nayeon sniffles up the last of her tears. god, she’s missed this. 

"what about fashion week?" 

tzuyu kisses nayeon’s forehead. "fashion week could do with one less model.” tangible, there. “but i can’t do without you.” 

nayeon’s cheeks ache from smiling. “how long is this break?” 

“i’m all yours for as long as you want me here.” 

they’re so close that nayeon feels all her words, all her movement, right on her skin. 

the heat, the familiarity – her heart remembers it all. 

“and if i want you here forever?” 

oh, to have someone to hold in her arms. 

“as long as the birthday girl wants… ” 

tzuyu nuzzles her cheek. 

“... i’ll be here.”

oh, to go home to a lover.

nayeon holds tzuyu's face in her hands.

her lover in her hands.

this was initially angsty... but i couldn't bear to post a sad birthday fic 😞 so i wrote a fluff version :) i apologise for the terrible formatting of the msging component.. how do i align text!&?! and i also apologise to all natzu fans for whatever this is! i really do just write words that do not make sense

happy late birthday to our nayeowon (we share a birthday!), and happy mooncake festival as well (how fitting of our resident bunny)! 🐰🥮🫶 thank you so much for reading <3