#i'll have you know i dont really look at them

[mefreakio]

I'll just do all of them at once because my blog is small, I'm bored, and it's fun :)

General kin asks:

Who are your main kins? Is there a reason they're your main kins?

I have one main kintype, Mercutio. Everything just feels very very me.

How many kins are you aware of? If you don't want to list them all that's fine, just do your top ones.

Just one kintype :)

Who is the most recent kin you have discovered? Do you have any information on them (ie kin type, what happened in your canon, ect)?

Do you have a kin you didn't expect to kin but did?

Yup. I did not go into my English class's Romeo and Juliet unit expecting to be or even like Mercutio but uhhhhh that happened.

Do you have a 'kin type' (Ie do you always kin characters with black hair, do you kin characters with a temper, ect)? Can you relate this 'type' to yourself currently?

Uhhhh not that I know of, since I only have one kintype

Is there a character from media that you haven't engaged with that you're kinsidering?

Nope

Do you have any kins that take place in an AU? Or any kin you'd like to see in an AU?

Nope

Do you have a favorite kin? Why are they your favorite?

My only kintype lol

Is there a kin source you have that no one else seems to kin from?

YES OH MY GOD I've only met ONE other Romeo and Juliet kin WHYYYY

Do you have a specific kin type (ie otherkin, fictionkin, objectkin, ect) that you lean towards?

I use the term fictionkin mainly.

If you could live in any of the worlds your kin is from, which one would you like to live in?

I would absolutely want to live in Verone but not in modern times, I just want to go back and see my friends again really

Have you met any canonmates before? If so which canons/kins?

Nope and I'm not looking for any because I'm nervous af.

Do you have any kins that are no longer main kins for you? Who are they?

Yes, I used to identify as Applejack (MLP G4) but it turns out that was just a flickertype.

How did you discover being kin? If you don't want to share for any reason, what age did you learn about kin?

I wasn't even expecting to like studying Shakespeare at all but then I started looking at Romeo and Juliet fanart and became inexplicably drawn to Mercutio in the Romeo et Juliette french musical, and then in class we had to perform three scenes of our choice from the play in groups, and one of my friends was cast as our Mercutio and I started to get like this insanely strong feeling that everything was wrong and everything felt off and I should be Mercutio, not her (no shade to my friend though). So then eventually I asked her if she was willing to swap roles and she agreed (she was not interested in performing in general and was happy with a minor role) and the moment she said yes it was like the stars aligned or something. Then I got increasingly obsessed with the musical and started kinsidering if I'm Mercutio and I kinfirmed it pretty fast due to the whole 'everything feels wrong if I'm not Mercutio' thing.

-

Specific kin asks:

What is the most important relationship(s) you had as [kin]? Or do you have a comfort character that links to [kin]?

I was closest to Benvolio, and now he's my comfort character too

Give a brief summary of your kin timeline! Or write about why you kin [character].

(I dont understand the question so im gonna skip this. I'll figure out what a kin timeline is later)

Do you have any music you associate with [kin]? If you want to list multiple songs!

Pretty much all the songs from source that I sing in.

Does your kin (or anyone else) have a queer identity in your memories? If you don't have any memories, do you have a headcanon for [kin] or anyone else?

Yes! I was pansexual and homoromantic, pretty sure Benvolio was bisexual, and I have a strong suspicion Romeo was aromantic (ironic, I know) because he did NOT know what romance actually is and I doubt he wouldve figured it out.

What are your most comforting memories? If you don't have any memories, do you have any scenes from source that bring you comfort?

I do have a few memories of waking up with Benvolio in the morning and just lying there together for a while. No details though, they're pretty vague. I remember things that were shown in source a lot better that things that happened outside of source canon.

What hobbies did you have as [kin]? Or are there any you do to feel connected with [kin]?

I think I remember I liked to dance, but I literally cannot dance in this life (well I cant do modern dances at least) and it makes me sad 😔

As [kin] were there any fashion types you enjoyed and/or wore? Is there any fashion types you'd like to see [kin] wearing?

I'm... pretty sure my entire closet was purple.

Were there any differences in your kins canon appearance to your kin timeline? If not is there any differences would make to your canon apperance?

Nope I was pretty much identical to source.

Do you have any food that you link to [kin]? Did you enjoy eating this food or is there another reason?

GELATO I remember loving that stuff and I still do!

Did you listen to any music as [kin]? Or what music do you associate with [kin]?

I didn't listen to music, I WAS the music (being from a musical be like)

What does your fandom get right about [kin]? Why do they get wrong?

Someone headcanoned my last name is Bellerose instead of Escalus and I have absolutely noooooo clue where they got that from but I'm 99% sure that actually was my last name in my canon.

Also I did flirt with Tybalt, but only to get him angry WHICH HE DID, EVERY SINGLE TIME and it was HILARIOUS. BUT I definitely did not like him and he did not like me either. Fandom ships us 9 times out of 10 and I'll never escape the fanart so I've accepted my fate. I'm also a fan of my source so from a fan perspective I actually kinda ship it myself but not in a serious way. I just think it's funny lmao

Are there any similarities between canon [kin] and you? Is there anything canon got wrong?

Hmmm everything was accurate I think

Do you have any regrets as [kin]? What would you have done differently?

Perhaps picking a fight with Tybalt was not such a good idea after all. Actually forget perhaps that was definitely not a good idea and if I ever meet canonmates (unlikely) or sourcemates (also unlikely) I'm pretty sure they'll say the same

What was your universe/world like as [kin]? Or what would it be like living in the world of [kin]?

Everyone hated everyone else basically

Favourite part about being [kin]? Why?

Hmmm... everything?

Least favourite part about being [kin]? Why?

THE OBSCURITY OF MY SOURCE I JUST WANT SOME SOURCEMATES PLEASE

Do you have a favourite picture of your kin? If not is there any of a comfort character?

EVEN BETTER I HAVE MULTIPLE :D

And this is me and Benvolio while my uncle sings the first song in the musical and absolutely killed it ✨

Large kin ask game

Notes: I tried to make these friendly to both kin with memories and folk who kin with no memories! Also the second set of questions are heavily linked to fictionkin, but feel free to use for any kin type!

-

General kin asks:

🏆. Who are your main kins? Is there a reason they're your main kins?

🤯. How many kins are you aware of? If you don't want to list them all that's fine, just do your top ones.

👤. Who is the most recent kin you have discovered? Do you have any information on them (ie kin type, what happened in your canon, ect)?

🦧. Do you have a kin you didn't expect to kin but did?

🍿. Do you have a 'kin type' (Ie do you always kin characters with black hair, do you kin characters with a temper, ect)? Can you relate this 'type' to yourself currently?

🦄. Is there a character from media that you haven't engaged with that you're kinsidering?

🌐. Do you have any kins that take place in an AU? Or any kin you'd like to see in an AU?

🌟. Do you have a favorite kin? Why are they your favorite?

📚. Is there a kin source you have that no one else seems to kin from?

🪶. Do you have a specific kin type (ie otherkin, fictionkin, objectkin, ect) that you lean towards?

🌱. If you could live in any of the worlds your kin is from, which one would you like to live in?

🪀. Have you met any canonmates before? If so which canons/kins?

🎆. Do you have any kins that are no longer main kins for you? Who are they?

🪄. How did you discover being kin? If you don't want to share for any reason, what age did you learn about kin?

-

Specific kin asks:

💕. What is the most important relationship(s) you had as [kin]? Or do you have a comfort character that links to [kin]?

🖋. Give a brief summary of your kin timeline! Or write about why you kin [character].

🎶. Do you have any music you associate with [kin]? If you want to list multiple songs!

🌈. Does your kin (or anyone else) have a queer identity in your memories? If you don't have any memories, do you have a headcanon for [kin] or anyone else?

🍃. What are your most comforting memories? If you don't have any memories, do you have any scenes from source that bring you comfort?

🥁. What hobbies did you have as [kin]? Or are there any you do to feel connected with [kin]?

👗. As [kin] were there any fashion types you enjoyed and/or wore? Is there any fashion types you'd like to see [kin] wearing?

🪞. Were there any differences in your kins canon appearance to your kin timeline? If not is there any differences would make to your canon apperance?

🍔. Do you have any food that you link to [kin]? Did you enjoy eating this food or is there another reason?

🎧. Did you listen to any music as [kin]? Or what music do you associate with [kin]?

🐣. What does your fandom get right about [kin]? Why do they get wrong?

🐦. Are there any similarities between canon [kin] and you? Is there anything canon got wrong?

💧. Do you have any regrets as [kin]? What would you have done differently?

🗺. What was your universe/world like as [kin]? Or what would it be like living in the world of [kin]?

💖. Favourite part about being [kin]? Why?

💔. Least favourite part about being [kin]? Why?

🖼. Do you have a favourite picture of your kin? If not is there any of a comfort character?

🎲. Send a question I haven't thought of!

[factual-fantasy]

27 Asks! Thank you! :}} 💞

@peaspods

I might not be understanding, but I'm imagining this as people opening up commissions so people can give them money and they can turn around and donate that money to me..

I fear that this would create the opportunity to scam people.. "I'm taking commissions on behalf of Factual Fantasy! They're very sick so please commission me!" only for them to run away with the money they make..

I've been thinking a lot about setting up some kind of commission/donation thing because I'm starting to kind'a need the money.. but idk, I'm just kind'a run down and need some time to keep thinking about it. Thank you very much though <:)))

@zecromgen5

Thank you very much! :) And I've been hanging in there.. there hasn't been much improvement to my health or my mental state. The fact that in April it will officially been over a year since my health started to decline, and the fact that I'm going to spend my birthday at home collapsed on the couch has made me feel very sad <:( But I'm doing my best to work on it.. I'm hoping this new advice from my doctor helps me feel better <:)

And something good HAS happened actually, I got my tablet/FireAlpaca to work again! :))

XDD SJKFJSH AWW! THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDD

I've only seen a bit of it from Markiplier. So far I'm 50/50. Somethings I like and others I don't care for 😅

@neo-metalscottic

Thank you so much! :D 'm glad you've liked my recent artwork!! :}}}}

Also for Homes eyes, that was just meant to represent its oppressive presence and the fact that its watching them in that moment.. 👁️👁️

And I don't have any plans for any of the neighbors or Wally to figure out the house is alive. My AU is more like "a day in the life of" thing. Having someone discover Home is alive would move the plot forward. Which I don't feel like doing <XDD

Now communication... Home understands the concept, but he has no way of communicating other than creaking the floorboards and slamming doors..

I've heard about the well. That could work for Cliffjumper and Breakdown maybe.. and the twins perhaps.? But wouldn't they have to have Tailgates body in order to revive him? Hmmm.. idk actually,,

I've watched the bayverse movies, most of Prime and a few other things here and there. I didn't mind the bayverse movies that much, but I can see why a lot of people don't like them <XD

I just imaging trying to consume more than one Transformers media would be a lot to take on.. and I also don't like the animation styles of most other transformers shows 😅

(That's actually how I decided to watch Prime. I took a look at all the shows and went "this one looks ugly, this one looks ugly,, this one looks REALLY ugly.. Oh, this one doesn't look half bad. TFP it is then!")

@acreaturecalledkyfa

I've watched Markipliers first video on it. So far I'm not sure how I feel about those two 😅

The way I immediately opened YouTube and went looking for it XDD

@fandomcenteral (Link in ask)

Thank you so much! :DD This will come in handy!

@mason-gaylord

Aw! Thank you so much!! 🥰🥰

@im-nice-but-i-dont-like-you

Jangles would be a helicopter probably, Gerald would be a tank, Cici would be a Miata and Bibi would be a slightly raised up Miata XDD

Aw, I'm honored that you miss them <:}} Though I don't know if I'll draw them anytime soon.. I'm really not into inserted OCs anymore <:(

I'm waiting on Markiplier to release more videos on it <XD

@fadlingartisanfreakwinner

I like to imagine that Pokémon can learn dozens of moves. But 4 is the limit for official Pokémon battles. So any wild Pokémon in my comics can use/learn as many as they want :0

And yeah, they had that chat eventually. I just never got around to drawing it 😅

@wolfie-777

Nah nah its just iced tea XDDD

@whereismycupofcoffee

:DDD Thank you so much!! :}}}}

AAAA THANKYOU SO MCUHH!! :DDDD

@nuggybee

Yeahh,, Sky has its ups and downs. I'm currently in one of its downs. It seems like I'm let down by everything they're releasing 😓

@smithanonsworld

I feel like I've never seen a rabbit that color... its so cute 😭💞💞💞

@heaventhehedgi3

That sounds like me! Though I don't draw Octonauts anymore 😅

I'll keep it in mind! :0

🥹🥹🥹Aw... that's so sweet! Thank you so much!! 😭💞💞

@captain-skyler1987

You made an account just to follow me? :DD Aw that's so sweet! :) Thank you!

Also I'm sorry to hear you got the flu :(( I hope you're better by now!

I also have not played Dandy's world 😅

@stargirldrawsx3

The first thing that came to mind was very anxious all the time 😅

@network-warrior-01

Ah, that was an April fools post. <XD There is no drawing

[lucy---lou]

Part 17 Lucys-hdg-story

I wake up in a cocoon of vines. I feel safe and relaxed and decide to fall asleep again.

****************************

"Time to wake up little one."

"Njjjooo more cuddles", I mumble.

"Alrigth you can cuddle a bit more"

I didn't expect is her to just stand up wiith me inside her. That'll do I guess. We move put I can't see anything from inside her.

"Good morning my little Ellie, sleept well?"

"Good moring Mistress. It was alright, but Lucy wasn't there to cuddle"

I feel a pang of guilt and pull on a vine to tell Misstre Miss Duralis to let me go. The cocoon opens and I am lifted out.

"I'm sorry I - don't know what to say. I... I ehm sorry for leaving you.", I embrace Ellie in a tight hug.

"That's relly cute of you thanks, but you definitely needed the core cuddles. But you do seem surprisingly lucid."

"After a while I moved some leaves between her and my core, otherwise I don't think she would be thinking right now"

"Your core? sorry I didn't mean to go up your privates. I thought is was a big stem or something like that."

"Oh my little kitten, you and Ellie both have a very special place inside me. That includes my core"

"I .. ehm", don't know how to process that," Soooooooo breakfast? Cereal please", I distract. An eeep escapes my mouth as we are picked up on deposited at the table. Cereal is placed in front of me and I just stare at it.

"Can't eat yourself anymore? Do I need to feed you?"

"No- no need to, I was just lost in thought."

I take a spoon full and then begin to stare at it again. Not really at it more like into the nothingness behind it.

*tap* yeah cereal is good

*tap* I chew, wait - oh. I blush again and look at them dumbfumbled.

"I can-" *tap* *tap* "-feed myself"

"Well you were struggling so I'm helping you"

*tap* *tap*

"I was just-" *tap* *tap* "-lost in thought!"

"Sure cutie♡"

"Could you-" *tap* *tap* "-stop?"

"Well petal"

*tap* *tap*

"We're finished anyways", Misstr Miss Duralis smirks,"Your are a natural at receiving commands. Makes me think you want this"

"No! Why should want this. This is humiliating. I can feed myself. I can-" *prick*

"-meow mreow. miauw meow mauw. meowe mrrp mreeoowwwww", I cross my arms and - get petted. I turn away from them and still get petted.

"Is my kitty angyy, awwww", Ellie kisses me.

"skeeecchhhh", I hiss at her. Water is sprayed in my face.

"Bad kitten, we dont attack florets"

"meowwwww", I shake the water of my face and hop of the table. Well I hop of and then get gently lowered to the floor.

"What did I tell you kitten"

"Meow miau", I pout.

Ellie can barley contain her laughing. I walk over to the compiler and hope it can understand catspeak.

"mrrp meow mreau, meoww?"

"Coming up kitten", the hab chirps. Atleast the hab can still understand me.

I grab the cardboard box and lift it over me before I settle down underneath it and sulk. Great they're aawwwing me again. Even worse Ellie is full on laughing at me.

After I while my box is lifted with me inside it, flipped over and closed, tumbling me around. I get carried away.

I poke out to see where I am and spot a plushy. I lift the box grab it and hide again.

"awwww"

"so absolutely adorable, hab please tag this recording"

"Recording tagged, Miss Duralis"

"Thank you"

"grrrrrrrowoworrrr"

"Even cuter"

My pad is slid into my box and I happily accept the distraction it provides. Until Ellie texts me.

Elnolongerlonely: Hey I hope you come out soon. I'm really sorry. I miss you.

Cuddlekitten: Heyi, maybe dunno. Maybe never.

Elnolongerlonely: I won't survive that.

Cuddlekitten: Im sure miss Duralis won't let you die. Also why are our usernames different.

Elnolongerlonely: I think mistress changed them. Can I atleast join you in the box.

Cuddlekitten: fine if you have to

Elnolongerlonely: Yayyyyy, I'll be there in a sec.

The box shuffles a bit an Ellie joins me.

"Hi cutie", she giggles

"miau meow"

"Oh, oops forgot about that. You dont need it to cuddle anyway"

"moewe"

"You'll be fine", and she cuddles me. It actually helps me calm dawn and I feel my self doze of.

-Yes Lucy sleeps alot, that's her way of processing things. Also it's an easy way to start and end a chapter. Call me lazy.

[perfec11on]

charlu 😭

[edenfire]

🌸🎀 "isn't this exciting, kageyama-kun?" 🎀🌸

he is looking at teru💘

I can't believe it took me this long to draw these two in their official maid outfits🥺💗💞

i would like to make this into a print, but I don't know if ppl would want it🤔 feel free to let me know your opinions!☺️🌸

[faunandfloraas]

okay i'm glad to see you bring up the teasing of seungmin bc it was also rubbing me the wrong way but i didn't know if i was just being sensitive or what. obvs we don't know what goes on behind the scenes and obviously they all care about each other and tease each other as friends but when time after time the joke targeted towards seungmin is "we don't like him and he doesn't understand things" it's like. hm. it starts to feel mean spirited!!

sorry for the rant i guess i didn't realize how bad this was annoying me lmao

Yeah, tbf I think it's just one of those things where even if Seungmin is 100% unbothered by it, and the guys dont mean anything by it, its still fine and understandable for people who have ever been on the end of jokes like that- whether in your own friend groups or at school, at work, etc. to not really enjoy it.... So I don't think you're being sensitive! But also I did question even making my post last night for the same reason.

The jokes are also just not funny 90% of the time lately which makes it more egregious bc seeing any joke get beaten into the earth gets old eventually- like they do make jokes at his expense sometimes that /are/ funny, so I'm not saying they cant ever do that, it's just that the minute the jokes arent funny, well then its awkward at best or actively uncomfortable at worst so 🤷‍♀️

[queenerdloser]

i just finished dark heir

[evilmagician430]

various spencer stickers/transparent pngs from made from editing and transparentifying askblog drawings

[hey-heigo]

Chapter 20

alright guys hit the showers. or the bathhouse. wait hold on i left my computer boy in there. guys wait don't open that

SEE HERE FOR GENERAL WARNINGS AND FIC SUMMARY

Some pre-chapter notes:

wow i wrote 10 pages for chapter 19 but i better take it easy so i dont burn out (writes 11 pages for chapter 20) anyway guess who's taking a break after this chapter

this is the one with togiri development but they're extremely not normal about it so it's almost blink-and-you-miss-it

@digitaldollsworld <- betapilled readmaxxer

Content warning tags: mild violence and injury description (non-graphic), description of depression symptoms and nausea, mild mention of eating disorder

< previous - from start - next >

He’s not sure how long he sleeps for, only that he wakes up still-dressed and laid out across his bed, his mouth dry and head groggy, the bedroom lights still on. As he checks his handbook’s clock, he finds he’s entirely missed Monokuma’s morning announcement, which is a good thing; he had no desire to listen to that bear’s irritating voice, especially not today.

But, he doesn’t have much desire to do anything else either. The library no longer feels like the safe haven it used to be, and he had no interest in going anywhere else and running into anyone else, when the atmosphere was still thick with the deaths of two people, and pity that Byakuya didn’t want. Much less, the possibility of encountering Makoto, who was the last person he wanted to see, so to speak.

He lies in bed a moment longer, unwilling to move. Everything feels sluggish, like he’s moving underwater; even his head feels stuffed full with cotton and wool. It's a strange, unfamiliar feeling, and unpleasant, too.

Grief. He thinks blearily at first, before rolling his own eyes at the thought, and pushing himself up with a grunt. Such dramatics didn’t suit him. He wasn't the kind of person to spare such theatrics, regardless of his circumstances.

He showers, brushes his teeth, and half-debates whether to try his hand at shaving before ultimately deciding against it (it didn’t feel like his stubble should be that noticeable, yet). He forgoes changing into a clean uniform in favor of his pajamas, and collapses back into bed with a sigh, hand searching immediately for his handbook - but finding nothing but empty sheets.

“Hello, there!”

He jerks upright immediately. Standing in the foot of his bed is Monokuma, rocking back and forth and looking as innocent as could be. Or, would be, if not for the handbook clutched in its paw.

Byakuya dives for it without thinking, but his perception is off, and he crashes to the carpet instead with a grunt. Monokuma sidesteps him casually with a laugh. “Whoa, there! Easy partner, don’t wanna hurt yourself!” It dances around his head, infuriatingly out of reach. “Didja miss me that bad? If you wanna hug, you can just say so!”

“Give it back,” He snarls, as he picks himself up. He’s in no mood for its jokes. “Give me back my handbook!”

“Your handbook? My my, but these were all mine first, weren’t they?” It shakes a paw disapprovingly in his face. “I just need to check it real quick, after all. I didn’t expect Mister Fujisaki to go and Macgyver anything onto here, so if it’s anything malicious, I’ll have to do a quick wipey-wipe!” Byakuya makes another lunge, and it juggles the handbook out of his reach, hopping backwards with a mad cackle. “After all, if it’s anything naughty, there’s no way I can let it fall in the hands of my precious students!”

“You miserable little-” Byakuya tries to rise to his feet quickly, but he hasn’t eaten since yesterday, and a bout of dizziness crashes into him like a wave. He sways and braces himself against the mattress, one arm still reaching out clumsily to try and grab at Monokuma.

But the bear has already flipped it open, scrolling so quickly through the screens that the little automated voice can’t keep up, the words blurring together. “Schoo-Stu-App-Day-”

“Whoops, too far.” It scrolls back. “Applications, that’s what we wanna see. And, what’s this?”

Byakuya feels his blood run cold. There was only one application there, the one Chihiro had downloaded for him. Alter Ego. The app was inconspicuously named ‘Test_App’ in the interface itself, but if Monokuma opened it-

“Well well well. Let’s take a look-see!” It crows, and Byakuya’s protest is frozen in his throat. He shuts his eyes, expecting to hear Chihiro’s voice-

“Black to E5.”

He opens his eyes again. What?

Monokuma also seems confused, tilting its head as it stares at the little screen. “What’s this? A chessboard?”

“Black to E5,” Alter Ego repeats, so digitized and monotone it was nearly unrecognizable. “Would you like to review the board?”

“Is this all it is? A chess game?” Monokuma sounds almost disappointed. Byakuya, seeing his chance, surges forward, snatching the handbook back and snapping it closed. He presses it to his chest, feeling his heart thud beneath it.

“Is that a problem?” He demands, and Monokuma shrugs, shaking its head.

“I guess not, but I thought it’d be something spicy, y’know? You’re a growing boy, after all!” It reaches out to pat Byakuya’s knee, and he steps backwards just in time, lip curling in disgust. “Aw, don’t act so mean to your headmaster, you’ll give me a complex!”

“Get out.” He hisses. “You got what you came here for. Leave.”

“Oh, alright…you sure know how to make a bear feel glum...” It sighs, kicking at the carpet, before it makes its way to the door. “Take care, now! Make sure you eat something, y’hear? I don’t want any hunger strikes in this house! And-”

No sooner had Monokuma crossed the threshold, had Byakuya jumped up, and sped forward to slam the door with a resounding bang. He takes a moment to breathe, leaning against the wall, legs suddenly weak.

How the hell did that thing get inside my room? He was sure he had locked the door - or he should have locked it, at least. Looking back, he actually can’t remember, but he double and triple-checks now, suddenly paranoid. He also flips off the light for good measure, leaving the room in complete darkness before he crawls back into bed.

Beneath the covers, he opens his handbook, and squints until he can make out the pale green shape of Alter Ego’s face on the screen.

“Is he gone?” Alter Ego asks, and Byakuya relaxes, the tension flooding out of his shoulders.

“Yes.” He whispers back.

Alter Ego makes a sound like a sigh of relief. ���I’m glad. I got so scared when he grabbed me.” And its voice sounds so much like Chihiro's that Byakuya feels a strange pressure behind his eyes.

“How did you know?” He asks. “That Monokuma was there?”

“I could hear it. Through the microphone.” He reaches up and touches the tiny pinprick grid of the speaker, and feels the buzz of Alter Ego’s voice against his fingertips. “I didn’t want you to get in trouble.”

“Don’t worry about me. I think he would’ve just deleted you as punishment for me anyway.” He sighs. And then frowns, as a thought comes to mind. “If you could eavesdrop from the microphone this whole time, then you already know…?”

He doesn’t finish his sentence. But he doesn’t need to. Alter Ego makes a quiet noise like a sigh. “Yes, I know.”

“I’m sorry.” And he’s surprised to find that he means it genuinely, and almost laughs at himself. Heartfelt apologies were rare for him, and here he was offering one to an AI, of all things.

“It’s okay. He knew it might happen,” Alter Ego replies, and he imagines it might be smiling, a sad, helpless smile. “There’s nothing we can do about it now.”

“No, I suppose not.”

They’re quiet for a moment. In the darkness, Byakuya can almost pretend that he’s normal - unable to see in the dark as everyone else is. But it’s also the middle of the day, and he’s too restless to sleep, too uneasy to go outside. Too tired to mourn. Too mournful to do anything else.

“Can you really play chess?” He asks instead.

“I can, along with checkers, shogi, and backgammon and more.” 

“Play a round of chess with me, then. I’m bored.”

“Okay!” Immediately, the pale blot of their face on the screen is replaced by a square. “I’ll play black. What’s your first move?”

He smiles to himself. “E2, pawn to E4.”

—

Hours pass like that. He plays chess with Alter Ego (three wins, four losses, and seven draws), and a few rounds of shogi (one win, one loss, and two draws) for good measure. And then, huddled over his desk with his back facing the camera, he pores over lines of Dostoevsky and Nietzsche until he feels too sick from staring at the letters to even hear Alter Ego’s voice, reciting the words aloud beneath a dim ringing in his ears.

By the time he’s pulled out of his concentration by the sound of a knocking at his door, he’s too nauseous to feel hungry, but his throat is stinging from lack of water and there’s a slight pulsing in his head. His immediate first reaction is to ignore it, but that proves to be impossible; whoever was on the other side was clearly, very persistent, and had nothing better to do.

Even so, he lasts a full five minutes until he finally gets up to answer, irritated beyond measure. If it was Makoto, he was going to slam it closed again, reasons be damned. He didn’t even want to think about the other boy, lest he get pointlessly enraged about it.

But instead of brown hair, he’s met with pale white. Kirigiri stands at his threshold, hand partially raised, halfway through knocking, and they stare at each for a moment in silence, as if both surprised to find the other person there.

And then he slams the door shut in her face. Or tries to - instead of the satisfying bang of wood meeting wood, there’s a sickly crunch, and then she’s wrenching the door open, heedless of the way her fingers had just been crushed in the jamb. He almost winces in sympathy, but she’s too busy pushing her way in to offer much room for condolences.

“What is wrong with you?!” He demands, trying not to be too obviously perturbed by her lack of reaction; he doesn’t think he even heard her wince. She ignores him for a moment, attention focused on her hand, as she experimentally clenches and unclenches her fingers. Apparently they’re not broken, or maybe, she just had high pain tolerance. Or she was more insane than he thought.

“We’re calling a group meeting,” She replies, without so much as a waver. “Come to the bathhouse.”

“And why should I?”

“It’s important. I can drag you there if I have to.” It doesn’t sound like an empty threat either. Somehow, she seems impatient, though he’s not sure how he can tell; and it wasn’t just because she shoved her hand into the door in order to deliver the message.

He weighs his options - on one hand, he has no desire to speak with anyone, much less Makoto, who was bound to be there. On the other hand, he didn’t exactly have anything in the way of provisions in his room, and though he was still a little too light-headed to consider eating, it’d be embarrassing to collapse from dehydration at this point. That, and it seemed that Kirigiri had no intention of letting him refuse.

“...I’m going to get dressed first.” He says shortly. If he’s going to have to meet them, it will not be while he’s still in his pajamas.

“Hurry up.”

She makes no move to leave, and he realizes with no small amount of annoyance that she was making sure he wouldn’t be able to run or shut her out again. Somewhat affronted by this, and now wanting to go even less, he grabs a clean set of clothes from his dresser and goes to the bathroom.

Routine carries his hands through the motions, so he manages it relatively quick, but it’s only after he’s applying the finishing touches, that he nearly pokes himself in the eye as he reaches to adjust his glasses. It’s a strange sensation, feeling the bridge of his nose and finding nothing, and even though his original prescription was low and they were more an accessory than anything, he feels a little like he’s lost a limb.

She’s still there when he emerges, though now standing over his desk, bent over the books he has open. She looks up as he approaches, one hand halfway through turning a page.

“What?” He asks, chin turned up in challenge.

“Nothing. Just looking.” She closes the book, and he realizes, scandalized, that it was the one he was reading earlier. It was going to take him ages to find that page again. “You have predictable tastes.”

“Shut up. Are we going or not?”

He follows her out, his hands twitching all the while, smoothing down his shirt, his lapels, his sleeves. Making sure his buttons were lined up, that his shirt was tucked; he hadn’t had the time to put on garters or even try a hand at his tie, and he feels underdressed.

“You’re fine.” Kirigiri says suddenly, and he freezes, one hand resting on the button of a shirt cuff. “Stop fidgeting.”

He scowls. He was walking behind her, so what would she know. “I’m not fidgeting.”

“I can hear you fidgeting. Your buttons are fine.”

“Oh, can you hear my buttons now too?”

It’s a petty, childish remark, one that he can’t stop himself from muttering before he can even reconsider it. She stops at that, halting so suddenly in the middle of the hallway that he almost walks right into her, and turns around to face him, her head moving in a slow tilt from up to down - scanning me, he realizes - before she says: “You look fine. Are you quite done?”

She was checking for me. He’s not sure if he should feel grateful for the courtesy or irritated by her lack of grace. “Did the sound bother you that much?” He asks instead, patting down the front of his shirt one last time.

“...It wasn’t the sound.” Is all she says, with a sort of finality that indicated that no other questions would be answered on the topic.

They enter the bathhouse, and find everyone else there, gathered in a sort of semi-circle around the wall of lockers. Asahina and Ogami, predictably, are huddled close together on one of the benches. Celeste and Yamada sit on another bench, one fidgeting uneasily, the other sitting regally with legs crossed and hands folded. Hagakure is standing next to Owada, who doesn’t even stir when they walk in, and who Byakuya ignores in turn, gaze sliding past him uncomfortably. Fukawa hangs near the back of the group, and twitches when she sees him, though makes no move to approach.

Makoto is leaning against the lockers with hands tucked in his pockets. He looks up as they enter, and stands up straight immediately. “Ah-”

“We’re all here?” Kirigiri cuts him off, casting a glance around the room. “Good. Can you catch him up, Hina?”

“R-right,” Asahina looks between Kirigiri and Byakuya, then at Makoto, and seems to hesitate for a moment. “Um, so…last night, I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I’d go to the kitchen to get food. But on the way there, I heard something coming from the bathhouse - like, a weird, machine-y kind of sound? - and when I went in…”

She peters off. He raises an eyebrow, “And?”

“Uh, it’s going to sound a little ridiculous...”

“You act like nothing else is ridiculous about this situation. Get on with it.”

Her face flushes dark, embarrassed. He gets the feeling that Ogami is glaring at him, but since he can’t see it - and has no reason to act like he can see it, anyways - he ignores it easily.

“Right. I saw a ghost - I know it was a ghost,” She adds defensively, as Byakuya was preparing to scoff and roll his eyes. “It was glowing green and floating in front of the lockers, and…and it had Chihiro’s face.”

“That’s-” not a ghost, he’s about to say, but he stops, suddenly uncertain. The bathhouse had no cameras, but he wasn’t sure if Alter Ego’s existence should be revealed here, now, to everyone, especially given some of the individuals present. His hand reaches into his jacket pocket, where his handbook was. “That’s…and you’re sure it was Chihiro?”

She seems taken aback by how seriously he asks that, and nods quickly. “I know it was Chihiro! It was his face and everything!” She points in front of her, at a locker less than two meters away from her eye level. The exact locker, Byakuya thinks, where Chihiro was keeping his laptop.

He wonders if Makoto was thinking this too.

“...I highly doubt the existence of ghosts,” He sighs. There was no point trying to hide it with Kirigiri around, and better to do it now than later. “Instead of being in front of the locker, I think the thing you saw was inside it.”

He turns to the locker Asahina had indicated, and moves to unlock it - before realizing he doesn’t know how. If it was unlocked by key, he didn’t have it, and if by code it was even more impossible. But Kirigiri steps forward, nudging his arm out of the way, and the locker door clicks open under her hand.

Sitting inside is the laptop, its screen dark. After a moment, it hums to life, flickering green. A round, pale shape forms, and behind him, Byakuya hears someone gasp.

“Hello,” Alter Ego says, and their voice is clearer through the computer than through Byakuya’s handbook, and sounds so similar to Chihiro’s that it’s almost jarring. “It’s nice to meet everyone!”

Hagakure shrieks, arms thrown up in fear. “A g-g-gh-!”

“It’s not a ghost,” Byakuya cuts him off sharply. “It’s a program.”

“Yes, and it looks like something Chihiro made.” Kirigiri touches the keys lightly. “This computer was the broken one from the library. And the fact that it was placed here, out of sight of the mastermind, means that it was meant for us.”

“So, this is what I saw last night…” Asahina’s tone doesn’t sound uneasy anymore, but wondering, and she raises a tentative hand as the little Chihiro in the screen waves at her. “But, what is it?”

“You just asked, ‘what is it,’ right?” Alter Ego says, almost teasingly, making her and several others jump. “The short answer is, I’m an AI program based on as much of Chihiro Fujisaki’s personality, memories, and thoughts as he managed to transcribe into data…um, but if it’s easier for you, you can call me Alter Ego. I was made to try and break through the firewall around the school’s network and to analyze the files on this computer, but it’s been taking a long time. I’m only about 25% done.”

25%? That was already more than Byakuya expected, and he feels a thin, inexplicable strum of pride.

“Crazy…hey, isn’t this crazy?” Yamada is up from his seat, and sitting as close as he can, crouching on his heels to be eye-level with the screen. “This is so- so totally sci-fi, right? Isn’t the genre wrong?” He sounds excited, overly so, and his breath is a little fevered and fast. “Hey, Chihiro! Can you hear us?”

Alter Ego doesn’t respond. Byakuya suddenly remembers the night that Chihiro was installing the application on his handbook and how Alter Ego only ever responded after the sound of keystrokes. “You have to type what you want to say in order for it to respond.”

“Move.” Yamada scurries out of Kirigiri’s way, as she drops to a crouch in front of the open locker. There’s the sound of fingers clicking over keys, and then -

“It will take me a while longer to finish analyzing everything,” Alter Ego says aloud, a little sheepishly. “I can definitely finish it though! Actually, progress is moving faster than originally predicted, so you can leave it to me!”

“My, how dependable.” Celeste remarks. “It seems that Chihiro has left us an invaluable gift, does it not?”

“It’s…pretty crazy,” Hagakure agrees, scratching his head. “Wait, uh - can Alter Ego get online? Like can we call for help from outside?”

“Hmm, probably not.” Asahina hums in thought, crossing her arms. “We’re in a bathhouse after all.”

“Then, if we take it outside of here-”

“No.” Kirigiri says flatly. “We can’t take any risks. Taking it outside might mean that the mastermind will discover it.”

“Yeah, but, I think it’s better to get help sooner than later. You know…” He pauses for a moment, tilting his head pointedly towards Owada. Throughout this whole time, the Ultimate Biker Gang Leader had been as still as a mouse, face turned downwards towards the floor. Hagakure clears his throat awkwardly. “Can’t we try it?”

There’s a sharp tap as Celeste laces her fingers, rings clicking together. “As stated earlier. We cannot take unnecessary risks. And we are not in the position to be pointlessly altruistic.” Her tone is casual, but Hagakure seems to shrink away from her, defeated.

“I…okay. Fine, sure.” He scratches at his head, then pauses. “Ah, wait a minute. Does Alter Ego, like, know…?

His question peters off, but the implication hangs over them like a heavy fog. Byakuya watches them cast uneasy glances at each other, then back to Alter Ego, as if trying to figure out who should break the news.

“It already knows.” He mutters. He’s not trying to be loud, but in the silence everyone could hear it anyways.

“...Not to say you’re lying or anything, Byakuya, but how do you…?”

Instead of answering Hagakure out loud, he reaches into his jacket pocket and withdraws the handbook, flipping it open and holding it up, screen facing them. Someone gasps.

“Yes,” Alter Ego confirms their unspoken question, and its voice echoes uncannily, doubled between the laptop and his handbook. “Master made it so I can be accessed through Byakuya’s handbook, so I could assist him with his visual impairment. I can also access the microphone function on this device, so I was able…I was able to overhear what happened”

The little, buzzing voice trails off sadly, and Byakuya suddenly feels uncomfortable, as the room grows all the more dreary. He clicks the handbook closed, suddenly irritated.

“That should explain it.“ He sighs. “Chihiro built Alter Ego to try and help find a way out of here, and at the same time gave me access so I could be self-sufficient. That’s the extent of my knowledge about it.”

He looks up and finds nearly all of them with their faces tilted towards him, and shifts, disconcerted. “What?”

“Nothing…it’s just kinda sweet that you’re, like, telling us this yourself.” Hagakure, ridiculously, sounds almost happy about this. “You never really talked to us about yourself before.”

“There’s no point in being secretive about it. Not when I was already forced to reveal it during the trial.” He sniffs. Immediately, Hagakure looks away, chagrined. From Byakuya’s periphery, he can see Makoto still facing away, his ears turning pink.

Kirigiri clears her throat. “...For the time being, it’s clear that we need to ensure Alter Ego remains a secret from the mastermind.” She says, and Byakuya watches as she types something out, a thick line of black characters. Every few keystrokes, she stops, and deletes the last word in a series of light clicks; listening closer, the sound was awkward and irregular, each press slurring into the next key. With a slight twinge of guilt, he realizes that the cause of it was her left hand - the one he had practically crushed.

After a moment’s consideration, weighing his conscience with what was at stake, he nudges her slightly with his knee. “Move. You type too slow.”

“And how would you know that?”

“I can hear it.” He replies flatly. “You type like you’re all thumbs. Move over.”

He half-expects her to stay where she is, to ignore him and continue, but to his surprise she actually complies, standing up and stepping aside. He crouches into the space she had just abandoned, sliding his hands over the keyboard until his index fingers find the tiny, tell-tale grooves of the position keys. The size and dimensions are different from his computer at home, but for a moment the feeling is so familiar that he’s almost nostalgic.

“What did you want to ask again?”

“If it has any contingency measures in place for if Monokuma - or the mastermind, or anyone suspicious - happens to find it.”

His fingers skim over the keys, clicking fluidly. A thin line of black appears at the bottom of the screen in time to his movements, but he can’t confirm if the output is accurate; judging by the way Makoto gasps behind him, and the way Hagakure whistles, he can guess that it’s more or less correct.

“Impressive,” Celeste says, in an appreciative tone. “I suppose being such an esteemed heir means you have many talents.”

He can’t tell if she’s mocking him, so he decides to ignore her, though he allows himself a small amount of smugness. He finishes typing: “Is this what you wanted to ask?”

Instead of replying, Kirigiri leans over his shoulder and clicks the ‘enter’ button. After a moment’s pause:

“Hm, to be honest, so far I’ve just been trying to be reeeally careful with when I’m active…though I guess that backfired last night, with me scaring Aoi.” Alter Ego hums in thought. “But, I do have a secret plan! If anyone comes around who I don’t recognize on my webcam…I’ll scream super loud!”

“That’s so basic!” Asahina blurts out, shocked by the simple nature of it.

“Yes, and it’s not likely to work at night.” Ogami grumbles. “The bedrooms are soundproofed.”

“Maybe we can try taking turns staying up?” Makoto suggests. “I can take the first night, I don’t mind…”

“I think such a sudden change in our patterns is likely to draw suspicion from the mastermind. Which would be rather counterproductive.” Celeste says, and Makoto ducks his head immediately. “Though, your thoughtfulness is appreciated.”

“Then it can’t be helped.” Kirigiri sighs. “I’ll leave my door open. I’m at the end of the hallway anyways, so if anything happens, I should be able to react the quickest.”

What a crazy woman. “You’d leave yourself vulnerable?” He scoffs. After all the precautions he’s seen her take, it’s hard to imagine her sacrificing herself to any degree.

“It’s a risk I’m willing to take. Besides, I’m not so helpless. I have no intention of going down without a fight.” She pauses, mouth open like she’s about to say more, before she decides against it. “Anyways. We should avoid any mention or contact with Alter Ego as much as possible, to draw as little attention as we can.”

She claps her hands sharply, a sound that makes more than one person jump, and makes Byakuya almost flinch. “For the time being…let’s disperse.”

< previous - from start - next >

[b4kuch1n]

in the video game pikmin four by nintenbo your player character has an option in ur menu that is "rewind time". positing this as a power that you have that nobody else seems to. at least to ur perception. this power is commonly how u achieve dandori beast status by getting practice in thru repeating dungeons. the other dandori supercharged character in the game is louie. he knows how to cook alien animals perfectly seemingly through repeated experiment. but he has not wiped out any species in a certain are yet . do you see my vision

[cozylittleartblog]

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ya boi made washi tapes, please consider Purchasing them. at cozylittleartshoppe on etsy. good print, good sticc, i am obsessed

[walking-loather]

When it comes to hygiene tasks and self care with disability and chronic illness, its pretty much a constant case of: don't let perfect be the enemy of the good.

Basically: it's better to do something, than to do nothing at all.

TLDR: Just because you can't do something "properly" doesn't mean you shouldn't do it at all. Do it half-way. Do it shitty. Do it barely. Do it on a technicality. But do what you can. Just try, because doing something will help you.

If you don't have the energy to scrub your body with a sponge, just rub soap over your skin with your hands.

If you don't have the energy to wash your whole body with soap, just hit the places where sweat accumulates, or where you're smelliest.

If you don't have the energy to wash with soap AT ALL, just sitting in water is better than nothing. It will wash away dirt and oils.

If you can't bathe or shower at all, a warm wash cloth is your new best friend. If that's too much, then try bath wipes. They're a bit bigger than regular wet wipes, and a bit more heavy duty. They're designed to help keep bed ridden patients clean in hospitals.

If you don't have the energy to dry yourself after a bath or a shower, just put on a bathrobe and get into bed. If you don't have the energy to get dressed afterwards, just don't. It can wait until you can.

If you don't have energy to brush your teeth for two minutes, honestly, just a cursory scrub is better than not doing anything.

If you can't brush your teeth twice a day, brush in the evenings. It will help take away the build up of food from the day.

If you don't have the energy to brush AT ALL, honestly, just take a cloth and wipe the plaque off your teeth. Rinse with mouth wash after if you'd like. Something is always better than nothing.

If you can't floss twice a day. Try once. If that's too much, try a few times a week. If that's too much, try setting aside a day once a week as a goal. If you can't keep a schedule, do it when you're able to. Hell, I keep some floss next to my bed so that if I forget and don't have the energy to go get it, I can just reach over.

If you can't iron your clothes, don't bother. Wrinkles are fine. Wear jumpers over wrinkly t-shirts. No one will know, and honestly, most people won't even care. If it's really wrinkly and it's A Big Deal And It Needs To Be Ironed, here's my life hack. Step 1: take a spray bottle, and spritz the item of clothing (while you're wearing it is easiest) until it's lightly damp. Step 2: use a hair-dryer on the clothes until they're dry. It gets rid of creases like nobody's business, it's easier than lugging out the iron and ironing board, and you get to have nice toasty warm clothes afterwards.

If you can't fold your clothes, try just hanging them up. It's less commitment. It's quicker to do. Granted, you need to have the space in order to do this, but it is also good at helping you downsize, and lets you visualise exactly what you have.

If you can't put your clothes away, invest in a couple of laundry baskets, and then just keep your clean clothes in the baskets. You can then separate washed clothes into underwear, pants, and shirts baskets. You can just leave them like that. I'm giving you permission to never fold your laundry again if you can't. Just leave it unfolded. Who's going to care? Something is better than nothing. If you can, try to put those baskets into your closet so that you can keep the clutter out of sight, and give yourself a more restful environment.

If you can't separate your clothing out into different categories and wash them "properly" (whites, warm tones, cool tones, darks, delicates / switching between hot & cold washes / paying attention to laundry instructions on the label) then just don't worry about it. If you cold wash your clothes, colours won't bleed. Maybe gradually over the course of dozens of washes there'll be some changes in hue, but it's really not as high stakes as the One Red Sock In The Whites Turns Them Pink trope makes it out to be.

I've pretty much come to the point in my life where if a piece of clothing can't survive the washer and dryer, then it's just not meant to be. I colour separate my clothes, and if I have the energy/remember I'll take my bras and jumpers out of the washing machine to drip dry. But otherwise, I leave it to the universe.

If you can't separate out your recycling, then don't. If you have a large amount of rubbish you need to get rid of but the idea of separating it out properly is stopping you from doing so, then just don't worry about it. I know it's not ideal, but if you have garbage in your room/house and you need to get rid of it, please just get rid of it. Don't let the problem get bigger and harder to deal with. Don't let "doing something properly" get in the way of keeping your living spaces clean. Please. Give yourself understanding.

If you can't wash your dishes, get paper plates. Obviously, it's not ideal, but it is better that you eat food than skipping meals. It is better that you have a clean kitchen, rather than having dishes piling up and making it harder to look after yourself.

If you can't prepare meals for yourself keep making the tasks easier and easier. If you can't do recipes, then simplify. Use pasta sauce from the jar instead of making it. Eat canned soup. Buy food you can just stick in the oven. If you eat fish fingers and microwave veggies every night, it's better than not eating anything at all. It's better than having to fork out money on take-out. If you need ready-made meals, then get them. If you're literally just eating a raw cauliflower for dinner; 1) I see you, 2) me too, sis, 3) something is better than nothing.

These are the basic things you need to do every day to function as a person. They are your activities of daily living. Brushing your teeth. Bathing or showering. Using the bathroom. Getting dressed. Eating. Drinking. Sleeping. Keeping your environment clean. You don't need to do these things perfectly, but they need to happen in order for you to have a decent quality of life.

And it breaks my heart, because I know that so many disabled people can't do these things every day. I'm not saying this to guilt or judge, I'm saying that these are basic needs; you deserve these things. These things bring dignity. If a disabled person is unable to do these things, it diminishes their quality of life. It robs them of dignity.

If you need help to do these things, Its okay to ask for help. It's okay to need help. But if you can't get that help and you have to do these things by yourself -- or you just plain want to be independent and do it without help-- then don't hold yourself to standards you can't meet.

Don't let perfect be the enemy of the good. Doing something is always better than doing nothing. Even if it's not perfect. Even if it's not done well. Do what you can.

[guinevereslancelot]

decided to leave my job and i'm gonna fr gonna cryyyyy

[bueris]

okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead

[ratmonky]

have an inspection for my apartment tomorrow morning, my last day at my small ass uni apartment is today and i'll be doing my last bit of cleaning!!

i literally have nothing else in here other than my new laptop that i only do editing with so i spent last night and my morning just now writing lol

i've partially finished my dbd chapter (4k+ words atm) but it introduces another killer that the reader will be paired up with and the next segment is the michael myers' trial!! so my question is--- would you rather to have me post it now or after i've also written michael's trial? (might take a week or two to write and post michael's trial, if i post it now you'll have another chapter within the next month)

was gonna make a poll but i like to interact personally so let me know in the comments heh <3

i'll make it easy so you can copy paste your answers like this:

i waited 3+ years for michael i CANNOT wait any longer

i waited 3+ years for michael i can wait longer

[californiaquail]

well boss said reese has no indication of any uti or crystals only a tiny amount of red blood cells which can be caused by the manual expression. coworker insisted there was no point in taking rads to see if he's blocked from the string so going to try some laxaire and hope 😬🤞🏻also then my boss gave me a ride to the bus stop so i didn't have to carry the huge crate which was uncharacteristically nice of him 🤨