#i'll have you know i dont really look at them
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Cult!141 x Fem!Reader
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT MDNI
⚠️Warnings⚠️: Dark Content, Manipulation, allusions to past abuse very brief not in depth, female reader, swearing, pregnancy, birth, poly relationships, smut, Cult AU, the use of lord in terms to worship, Price being referred to as Father
If you or a loved one is experiencing abuse, know that there is help, and please help anyone that you know to help them escape from that abuse.
⭐️Author's Note: The religion that the villagers follow is not defined, but it is NOT associated with Christianity, Judaism, Islam, or any other type of religion there is⭐️
Chapter 5: The Butcher
After y/n left, John phoned the tavern "hello this is Kyle speaking. How may I help you?" Kyle answered the phone. "Did you deal with the person who yelled at our darling?" John looking trought the window. "Yes, we're holding him in our basement, waiting for your instructions, anyways how was morning prayers with y/n?" John smiles, "it went really well she brought four wild flowers as an offering today, I told her that love will find her, silly little girl didn't even ask who or what we follow and give praise too, she's just the perfect devoted follower. She told me that she want to use your taverns kitchen to make a brisket pot pie, please let her use that kitchen, and don't worry she'll meet Simon too, cause I plan on buying the nicest brisket he has in the market and that he's welcomed in for our little feast that birdy is doing for us." Kyle loving the sound of that idea, "I'll be sure to tell Johnny about tonight's supper. We'll supply the rest of the ingredients." "Perfect. I'll see you and Johnny tonight, bye." Price hangs up the phone.
Price lockes up the church and makes his way towards Simon's Butcher Shop. "Simon, good morning." Price enters the butcher shop. "Jonathan, I wasn't expecting to see you until later on tonight. Good morning." Simon puts down his meat cleaver and turns around, taking off his gloves, putting them in the sink, and washing his hands, "what can I do for you, my friend?" "I would like the best premium brisket you have to offer." Price said, looking at his display case. "Why would you need that you don't cook and you definitely don't to errands for Johnny and Kyle." Simon said while preparing the brisket to be packaged. John smiled, "you're right but there is this new little birdy in town she ran away from her abusive ex, and well she wants to make a brisket pot pie as a thank you and you're invited, I expect you to show up to Johnny and Kyle's tavern for this supper.
Simon hummed, "I'll be there." Simon handing John the brisket. John smiled, "Great, I'll see you tonight then." John left the butcher shop to go to the tavern to drop off the brisket. Simon going back to work, he hears his bells jingle and two people come in, one he's seen before, and the other a new face, a woman, must be the girl john talked about. The first customer got their order and they seemed to recognize who this new face is, "if you're expecting a hand-out from this shop then you better leave and don't come back until you have money." The customer said. "OI! don't tell me how to run my damn shop, the price is $100." A mask man spoke up. "But I dont have that kind of money, and you're charging $50 more than the actual price!" Exclaimed the customer. "If you can't buy it, then come back when you have the money for it." Simon said when he already packaged up the meat, "now what can I do for you, Lovie?" "I just needed directions to get to the Tavern Inn." Y/n said, looking down at her hands. "It's three buildings down from the Tavern Restaurant." "Ah, thank you, kind sir." Y/n leave the butcher shop to head back to the Inn, but before she does, she'll be making a quick visit to the tavern restaurant to ask Johnny and Kyle if she could use their kitchen.
"I'm just glad that she didn't ask for any freebies cause she got freebies at the tavern, and some guy spoke up about it, and he ended up paying for her drink." The customer said. Simon stalking towards the customer, "Is that so?" "Ye-" Simon knocks out the customer, ties them up, and draggs them to his basement. "Serves you right for yelling at my lovie and telling me how to run my shop." Simon looked at the unconscious customer and then left the basement to head back to the shop.
"Johnny, Kyle?" Y/n called out "bonnie!-" Johnny appeared. "AH, you scared me." Y/n clutching her chest looking at Johnny "ah sorry bonnie Lass didn't mean to. What can I do for ya?" Johnny said, wiping down the counters, "I would like to borrow your kitchen. I want to make you, Kyle, and Father Price a brisket pot pie as a thank you for helping me out." Y/n fiddling with her fingers. "Of course you can, finally something other than my own cooking or Kyle's." Johnny looked happy since he'll taste his bonnies cooking. "Great, thank you. I'll be back later on. I want to rest up before I start cooking." "Of course, see you later." Johnny waving goodbye.
Taglist is open comment if you would like to be added
@yourloverslost @tabbslouuformer @angelrissa @freefallingup13 @readingcatinacorner @sylvanasthebansheequeen @casualunknownrunaway @thatpersonnamedrook @rip-cod-brainrot @hoodiepandaninja16 @spacecrawllerr
#simon x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#john price x y/n#john price x reader#price x reader#john price x you#kyle garrick x y/n#kyle gaz garrick x reader#kyle garrick x reader#kyle gaz x reader#soap x y/n#soap x reader#johnny soap mctavish x you#johnny mactavish x reader#poly!141#cult!141
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charlu 😭
#charles leclerc#carlos sainz#charlos#i'll have you know i dont really look at them#but this made me giggle so um yeah#whatever that means
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DAY 71: shy
#codacheetah#isat#loop isat#isabeau isat#isat spoilers#i'll never get over loop being described as 'shy'. what a wonderful image#top one casual remarks from isabeau that cleaves loop's facade#like loop's personality is just a targeted missile to piss siffrin off. they're not at all confident and snarky#they're doing like the physical manifestation of winning an argument against yourself in the shower#second they see the party though Oopsies we're in scary territory. That's your family and they dont know it's you Oops#ok anyways ever since i saw that post i was like damn. this is just how i view loop in party postcanon#for as much as I think they SHOULD go explore around and be their own person for a while i think realistically they would not do that.#theyre going to go be a weird freak hovering around the party and refusing to socialize with anyone but siffrin and theyre gonna feel awful#(read: they're going to antagonize siffrin and it fails tremendously bc now The Rumor Come Out and siffrin knows what loop is doing.)#like loop as much as they can barely stand to even look at isabeau (for instance) i think their claws are sunk far too deep in.#onehats maybe the circumstances are different because there is a gap in understanding. there's no point forcing siffrin to confront the#obvious conclusion that loop is them (and thus siffrin's happy ending nails loop's coffin)#(THIS IS IGNORING TWOHATS PREREQS GOTTEN ONEHATS. BC THATS ITS OWN CAN OF WORMS)#but twohats. idk. for as much as it lets loop release some of their rage and process their feelings a bit. i think it might also be the pus#that makes loop consider their own existence as a person a bit more. theyre not a sponsor->corpse theyre just loop#theyre just somebody who wants desperately. they want to stay with them#theyre still siffrin. if also loop.#i think loop would force themself to reconnect with the party in the same vein as siffrin forcing himself to communicate more.#but of course having conviction and living an experience are not the same thing. so siffrin's going to flounder the emotional honesty thing#tremendously and loop's going to be. blair witching it in the corner.#hey i might have forgotten which post i was writing the tags under. oopsies#idk if these tags are comprehensible at all. i just really want to see loop fail upwards into friendship with everyone
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i just finished dark heir
#me foaming at the mouth during the last chapters: HE IS! FUCKING! SAVING YOU!#i am huddled around will kempen hissing like a mama cat none of these fuckers are allowed to look at him#dark rise#okay but like. cyrian at literally every moment in the book you see will anticipating things and making connections#that you never make. doing things like a leader & being fucking smart and strategic. and your dumb ass really thought.#hm. must mean i shouldnt listen to him about the magic staff that can literally stop the end of the world. must be evil.#me: [screams into the abyss]#i know i cant expect characters to react like readers and they DID all react like i knew they would but god it was so infuriating!!!!!#and heart breaking! god!!!! god!!!!! will reliving his mother's initial betrayal over and over and OVER again#and thinking about all the little moments we get where the novel tells us: if these 'evil' characters had just been accepted#instead of tossed aside maybe they wouldnt have fallen. if they had been protected instead of killed maybe they would have#become protectors instead of killers. maybe if will's mom hadn't tried to butcher him for the sin of his own birth#he wouldn't have been so scared to tell people he lied to them.#anyway im not normal about will kempen and if book 3 doesnt give me his friends fucking accepting him i'll kill someone#me looking directly at visander: i dont care how charming you are i'll murder your ass about it#i read this book in like 5 hrs im being very normal about it
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"Seungmin would be SO hot if he got muscle like, can you imagine?" You would be hotter if you shut your mouth but we can't always get what we want so <3
#the amount of times ive seen this exact comment or sentiment over the past 6ish months in particular#truly pissing me off <3#like first things first- hes already handsome so if you dont see that... its fine. we all have different tastes but also be quiet <3#but like we know first hand from him that he isnt particularly interested in the gym and working out#hes not a changbin. its not his thing- he goes to keep up stamina for live shows#and the fact hes been very specific in saying so any time anyone mentions him working out and going to the gym is so like......#its kinda obvious that hes doing a polite 'please dont hassle me about getting bigger' so he makes sure to always go Its For Endurance#and yet i still see this and also. um theres other members who are muscley so why does seungmin also have to follow that route?#like if you want muscle theres people you can go look at... but also half these people cant even identify actual healthy muscle#vs. someone being so skinny that they have no fat on them and somehow think thats real muscle so like lol#its been so specifically the past half a year tho like whats that about why#its really one of those be quiet im so tired#well on the otherhand i was so stressed about my doctors appointment but now annoyance took the worries place so 🤷♀️#like its funny how X should lose weight comments are recognised for being shitty but the 'x should totally change his physique' is chill tho#like if seungmin organically of his own accord ever becomes a muscle bro bc /he/ wants that than for sure i'll be like Woo go seungmin !!#but only if he wants it. not the fans being annoying not bc of staff or beauty standards not bc of the other guys
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various spencer stickers/transparent pngs from made from editing and transparentifying askblog drawings
#sorry for the lack of new art! im working on school lately >.<#in the meantime have these and do as you wish with them#well. idk dont use my art for anything . morally reprehensible#but i think i can trust you guys... right?#btw most of these were edited minimally but you might notice the bottom middle one looks a lot different from the original image#because i hated the way it looked but really liked the idea of the expression and pose with spencer. works well as a sticker#so i gave it another try and changed some stuff on his face#if you're curious i'll spare you the spot the difference game. i slimmed his face shape and redrew the eyebrows. and gave him a normal mout#instead of kitty#also i know the fullbody one look weird the way tumblr crops it theres just no escaping that.#i either post it next to a shorter image or i post it in its own row and it makes the post really long and awkward like that one stingy pos#anyways.#venturiantale#taleblr#spencer acachalla#images that are horrid to see and look at#mspaint#venturiantale fanart#fanart
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Chapter 20
alright guys hit the showers. or the bathhouse. wait hold on i left my computer boy in there. guys wait don't open that
SEE HERE FOR GENERAL WARNINGS AND FIC SUMMARY
Some pre-chapter notes:
wow i wrote 10 pages for chapter 19 but i better take it easy so i dont burn out (writes 11 pages for chapter 20) anyway guess who's taking a break after this chapter
this is the one with togiri development but they're extremely not normal about it so it's almost blink-and-you-miss-it
@digitaldollsworld <- betapilled readmaxxer
Content warning tags: mild violence and injury description (non-graphic), description of depression symptoms and nausea, mild mention of eating disorder
< previous - from start - next >
He’s not sure how long he sleeps for, only that he wakes up still-dressed and laid out across his bed, his mouth dry and head groggy, the bedroom lights still on. As he checks his handbook’s clock, he finds he’s entirely missed Monokuma’s morning announcement, which is a good thing; he had no desire to listen to that bear’s irritating voice, especially not today.
But, he doesn’t have much desire to do anything else either. The library no longer feels like the safe haven it used to be, and he had no interest in going anywhere else and running into anyone else, when the atmosphere was still thick with the deaths of two people, and pity that Byakuya didn’t want. Much less, the possibility of encountering Makoto, who was the last person he wanted to see, so to speak.
He lies in bed a moment longer, unwilling to move. Everything feels sluggish, like he’s moving underwater; even his head feels stuffed full with cotton and wool. It's a strange, unfamiliar feeling, and unpleasant, too.
Grief. He thinks blearily at first, before rolling his own eyes at the thought, and pushing himself up with a grunt. Such dramatics didn’t suit him. He wasn't the kind of person to spare such theatrics, regardless of his circumstances.
He showers, brushes his teeth, and half-debates whether to try his hand at shaving before ultimately deciding against it (it didn’t feel like his stubble should be that noticeable, yet). He forgoes changing into a clean uniform in favor of his pajamas, and collapses back into bed with a sigh, hand searching immediately for his handbook - but finding nothing but empty sheets.
“Hello, there!”
He jerks upright immediately. Standing in the foot of his bed is Monokuma, rocking back and forth and looking as innocent as could be. Or, would be, if not for the handbook clutched in its paw.
Byakuya dives for it without thinking, but his perception is off, and he crashes to the carpet instead with a grunt. Monokuma sidesteps him casually with a laugh. “Whoa, there! Easy partner, don’t wanna hurt yourself!” It dances around his head, infuriatingly out of reach. “Didja miss me that bad? If you wanna hug, you can just say so!”
“Give it back,” He snarls, as he picks himself up. He’s in no mood for its jokes. “Give me back my handbook!”
“Your handbook? My my, but these were all mine first, weren’t they?” It shakes a paw disapprovingly in his face. “I just need to check it real quick, after all. I didn’t expect Mister Fujisaki to go and Macgyver anything onto here, so if it’s anything malicious, I’ll have to do a quick wipey-wipe!” Byakuya makes another lunge, and it juggles the handbook out of his reach, hopping backwards with a mad cackle. “After all, if it’s anything naughty, there’s no way I can let it fall in the hands of my precious students!”
“You miserable little-” Byakuya tries to rise to his feet quickly, but he hasn’t eaten since yesterday, and a bout of dizziness crashes into him like a wave. He sways and braces himself against the mattress, one arm still reaching out clumsily to try and grab at Monokuma.
But the bear has already flipped it open, scrolling so quickly through the screens that the little automated voice can’t keep up, the words blurring together. “Schoo-Stu-App-Day-”
“Whoops, too far.” It scrolls back. “Applications, that’s what we wanna see. And, what’s this?”
Byakuya feels his blood run cold. There was only one application there, the one Chihiro had downloaded for him. Alter Ego. The app was inconspicuously named ‘Test_App’ in the interface itself, but if Monokuma opened it-
“Well well well. Let’s take a look-see!” It crows, and Byakuya’s protest is frozen in his throat. He shuts his eyes, expecting to hear Chihiro’s voice-
“Black to E5.”
He opens his eyes again. What?
Monokuma also seems confused, tilting its head as it stares at the little screen. “What’s this? A chessboard?”
“Black to E5,” Alter Ego repeats, so digitized and monotone it was nearly unrecognizable. “Would you like to review the board?”
“Is this all it is? A chess game?” Monokuma sounds almost disappointed. Byakuya, seeing his chance, surges forward, snatching the handbook back and snapping it closed. He presses it to his chest, feeling his heart thud beneath it.
“Is that a problem?” He demands, and Monokuma shrugs, shaking its head.
“I guess not, but I thought it’d be something spicy, y’know? You’re a growing boy, after all!” It reaches out to pat Byakuya’s knee, and he steps backwards just in time, lip curling in disgust. “Aw, don’t act so mean to your headmaster, you’ll give me a complex!”
“Get out.” He hisses. “You got what you came here for. Leave.”
“Oh, alright…you sure know how to make a bear feel glum...” It sighs, kicking at the carpet, before it makes its way to the door. “Take care, now! Make sure you eat something, y’hear? I don’t want any hunger strikes in this house! And-”
No sooner had Monokuma crossed the threshold, had Byakuya jumped up, and sped forward to slam the door with a resounding bang. He takes a moment to breathe, leaning against the wall, legs suddenly weak.
How the hell did that thing get inside my room? He was sure he had locked the door - or he should have locked it, at least. Looking back, he actually can’t remember, but he double and triple-checks now, suddenly paranoid. He also flips off the light for good measure, leaving the room in complete darkness before he crawls back into bed.
Beneath the covers, he opens his handbook, and squints until he can make out the pale green shape of Alter Ego’s face on the screen.
“Is he gone?” Alter Ego asks, and Byakuya relaxes, the tension flooding out of his shoulders.
“Yes.” He whispers back.
Alter Ego makes a sound like a sigh of relief. “I’m glad. I got so scared when he grabbed me.” And its voice sounds so much like Chihiro's that Byakuya feels a strange pressure behind his eyes.
“How did you know?” He asks. “That Monokuma was there?”
“I could hear it. Through the microphone.” He reaches up and touches the tiny pinprick grid of the speaker, and feels the buzz of Alter Ego’s voice against his fingertips. “I didn’t want you to get in trouble.”
“Don’t worry about me. I think he would’ve just deleted you as punishment for me anyway.” He sighs. And then frowns, as a thought comes to mind. “If you could eavesdrop from the microphone this whole time, then you already know…?”
He doesn’t finish his sentence. But he doesn’t need to. Alter Ego makes a quiet noise like a sigh. “Yes, I know.”
“I’m sorry.” And he’s surprised to find that he means it genuinely, and almost laughs at himself. Heartfelt apologies were rare for him, and here he was offering one to an AI, of all things.
“It’s okay. He knew it might happen,” Alter Ego replies, and he imagines it might be smiling, a sad, helpless smile. “There’s nothing we can do about it now.”
“No, I suppose not.”
They’re quiet for a moment. In the darkness, Byakuya can almost pretend that he’s normal - unable to see in the dark as everyone else is. But it’s also the middle of the day, and he’s too restless to sleep, too uneasy to go outside. Too tired to mourn. Too mournful to do anything else.
“Can you really play chess?” He asks instead.
“I can, along with checkers, shogi, and backgammon and more.”
“Play a round of chess with me, then. I’m bored.”
“Okay!” Immediately, the pale blot of their face on the screen is replaced by a square. “I’ll play black. What’s your first move?”
He smiles to himself. “E2, pawn to E4.”
—
Hours pass like that. He plays chess with Alter Ego (three wins, four losses, and seven draws), and a few rounds of shogi (one win, one loss, and two draws) for good measure. And then, huddled over his desk with his back facing the camera, he pores over lines of Dostoevsky and Nietzsche until he feels too sick from staring at the letters to even hear Alter Ego’s voice, reciting the words aloud beneath a dim ringing in his ears.
By the time he’s pulled out of his concentration by the sound of a knocking at his door, he’s too nauseous to feel hungry, but his throat is stinging from lack of water and there’s a slight pulsing in his head. His immediate first reaction is to ignore it, but that proves to be impossible; whoever was on the other side was clearly, very persistent, and had nothing better to do.
Even so, he lasts a full five minutes until he finally gets up to answer, irritated beyond measure. If it was Makoto, he was going to slam it closed again, reasons be damned. He didn’t even want to think about the other boy, lest he get pointlessly enraged about it.
But instead of brown hair, he’s met with pale white. Kirigiri stands at his threshold, hand partially raised, halfway through knocking, and they stare at each for a moment in silence, as if both surprised to find the other person there.
And then he slams the door shut in her face. Or tries to - instead of the satisfying bang of wood meeting wood, there’s a sickly crunch, and then she’s wrenching the door open, heedless of the way her fingers had just been crushed in the jamb. He almost winces in sympathy, but she’s too busy pushing her way in to offer much room for condolences.
“What is wrong with you?!” He demands, trying not to be too obviously perturbed by her lack of reaction; he doesn’t think he even heard her wince. She ignores him for a moment, attention focused on her hand, as she experimentally clenches and unclenches her fingers. Apparently they’re not broken, or maybe, she just had high pain tolerance. Or she was more insane than he thought.
“We’re calling a group meeting,” She replies, without so much as a waver. “Come to the bathhouse.”
“And why should I?”
“It’s important. I can drag you there if I have to.” It doesn’t sound like an empty threat either. Somehow, she seems impatient, though he’s not sure how he can tell; and it wasn’t just because she shoved her hand into the door in order to deliver the message.
He weighs his options - on one hand, he has no desire to speak with anyone, much less Makoto, who was bound to be there. On the other hand, he didn’t exactly have anything in the way of provisions in his room, and though he was still a little too light-headed to consider eating, it’d be embarrassing to collapse from dehydration at this point. That, and it seemed that Kirigiri had no intention of letting him refuse.
“...I’m going to get dressed first.” He says shortly. If he’s going to have to meet them, it will not be while he’s still in his pajamas.
“Hurry up.”
She makes no move to leave, and he realizes with no small amount of annoyance that she was making sure he wouldn’t be able to run or shut her out again. Somewhat affronted by this, and now wanting to go even less, he grabs a clean set of clothes from his dresser and goes to the bathroom.
Routine carries his hands through the motions, so he manages it relatively quick, but it’s only after he’s applying the finishing touches, that he nearly pokes himself in the eye as he reaches to adjust his glasses. It’s a strange sensation, feeling the bridge of his nose and finding nothing, and even though his original prescription was low and they were more an accessory than anything, he feels a little like he’s lost a limb.
She’s still there when he emerges, though now standing over his desk, bent over the books he has open. She looks up as he approaches, one hand halfway through turning a page.
“What?” He asks, chin turned up in challenge.
“Nothing. Just looking.” She closes the book, and he realizes, scandalized, that it was the one he was reading earlier. It was going to take him ages to find that page again. “You have predictable tastes.”
“Shut up. Are we going or not?”
He follows her out, his hands twitching all the while, smoothing down his shirt, his lapels, his sleeves. Making sure his buttons were lined up, that his shirt was tucked; he hadn’t had the time to put on garters or even try a hand at his tie, and he feels underdressed.
“You’re fine.” Kirigiri says suddenly, and he freezes, one hand resting on the button of a shirt cuff. “Stop fidgeting.”
He scowls. He was walking behind her, so what would she know. “I’m not fidgeting.”
“I can hear you fidgeting. Your buttons are fine.”
“Oh, can you hear my buttons now too?”
It’s a petty, childish remark, one that he can’t stop himself from muttering before he can even reconsider it. She stops at that, halting so suddenly in the middle of the hallway that he almost walks right into her, and turns around to face him, her head moving in a slow tilt from up to down - scanning me, he realizes - before she says: “You look fine. Are you quite done?”
She was checking for me. He’s not sure if he should feel grateful for the courtesy or irritated by her lack of grace. “Did the sound bother you that much?” He asks instead, patting down the front of his shirt one last time.
“...It wasn’t the sound.” Is all she says, with a sort of finality that indicated that no other questions would be answered on the topic.
They enter the bathhouse, and find everyone else there, gathered in a sort of semi-circle around the wall of lockers. Asahina and Ogami, predictably, are huddled close together on one of the benches. Celeste and Yamada sit on another bench, one fidgeting uneasily, the other sitting regally with legs crossed and hands folded. Hagakure is standing next to Owada, who doesn’t even stir when they walk in, and who Byakuya ignores in turn, gaze sliding past him uncomfortably. Fukawa hangs near the back of the group, and twitches when she sees him, though makes no move to approach.
Makoto is leaning against the lockers with hands tucked in his pockets. He looks up as they enter, and stands up straight immediately. “Ah-”
“We’re all here?” Kirigiri cuts him off, casting a glance around the room. “Good. Can you catch him up, Hina?”
“R-right,” Asahina looks between Kirigiri and Byakuya, then at Makoto, and seems to hesitate for a moment. “Um, so…last night, I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I’d go to the kitchen to get food. But on the way there, I heard something coming from the bathhouse - like, a weird, machine-y kind of sound? - and when I went in…”
She peters off. He raises an eyebrow, “And?”
“Uh, it’s going to sound a little ridiculous...”
“You act like nothing else is ridiculous about this situation. Get on with it.”
Her face flushes dark, embarrassed. He gets the feeling that Ogami is glaring at him, but since he can’t see it - and has no reason to act like he can see it, anyways - he ignores it easily.
“Right. I saw a ghost - I know it was a ghost,” She adds defensively, as Byakuya was preparing to scoff and roll his eyes. “It was glowing green and floating in front of the lockers, and…and it had Chihiro’s face.”
“That’s-” not a ghost, he’s about to say, but he stops, suddenly uncertain. The bathhouse had no cameras, but he wasn’t sure if Alter Ego’s existence should be revealed here, now, to everyone, especially given some of the individuals present. His hand reaches into his jacket pocket, where his handbook was. “That’s…and you’re sure it was Chihiro?”
She seems taken aback by how seriously he asks that, and nods quickly. “I know it was Chihiro! It was his face and everything!” She points in front of her, at a locker less than two meters away from her eye level. The exact locker, Byakuya thinks, where Chihiro was keeping his laptop.
He wonders if Makoto was thinking this too.
“...I highly doubt the existence of ghosts,” He sighs. There was no point trying to hide it with Kirigiri around, and better to do it now than later. “Instead of being in front of the locker, I think the thing you saw was inside it.”
He turns to the locker Asahina had indicated, and moves to unlock it - before realizing he doesn’t know how. If it was unlocked by key, he didn’t have it, and if by code it was even more impossible. But Kirigiri steps forward, nudging his arm out of the way, and the locker door clicks open under her hand.
Sitting inside is the laptop, its screen dark. After a moment, it hums to life, flickering green. A round, pale shape forms, and behind him, Byakuya hears someone gasp.
“Hello,” Alter Ego says, and their voice is clearer through the computer than through Byakuya’s handbook, and sounds so similar to Chihiro’s that it’s almost jarring. “It’s nice to meet everyone!”
Hagakure shrieks, arms thrown up in fear. “A g-g-gh-!”
“It’s not a ghost,” Byakuya cuts him off sharply. “It’s a program.”
“Yes, and it looks like something Chihiro made.” Kirigiri touches the keys lightly. “This computer was the broken one from the library. And the fact that it was placed here, out of sight of the mastermind, means that it was meant for us.”
“So, this is what I saw last night…” Asahina’s tone doesn’t sound uneasy anymore, but wondering, and she raises a tentative hand as the little Chihiro in the screen waves at her. “But, what is it?”
“You just asked, ‘what is it,’ right?” Alter Ego says, almost teasingly, making her and several others jump. “The short answer is, I’m an AI program based on as much of Chihiro Fujisaki’s personality, memories, and thoughts as he managed to transcribe into data…um, but if it’s easier for you, you can call me Alter Ego. I was made to try and break through the firewall around the school’s network and to analyze the files on this computer, but it’s been taking a long time. I’m only about 25% done.”
25%? That was already more than Byakuya expected, and he feels a thin, inexplicable strum of pride.
“Crazy…hey, isn’t this crazy?” Yamada is up from his seat, and sitting as close as he can, crouching on his heels to be eye-level with the screen. “This is so- so totally sci-fi, right? Isn’t the genre wrong?” He sounds excited, overly so, and his breath is a little fevered and fast. “Hey, Chihiro! Can you hear us?”
Alter Ego doesn’t respond. Byakuya suddenly remembers the night that Chihiro was installing the application on his handbook and how Alter Ego only ever responded after the sound of keystrokes. “You have to type what you want to say in order for it to respond.”
“Move.” Yamada scurries out of Kirigiri’s way, as she drops to a crouch in front of the open locker. There’s the sound of fingers clicking over keys, and then -
“It will take me a while longer to finish analyzing everything,” Alter Ego says aloud, a little sheepishly. “I can definitely finish it though! Actually, progress is moving faster than originally predicted, so you can leave it to me!”
“My, how dependable.” Celeste remarks. “It seems that Chihiro has left us an invaluable gift, does it not?”
“It’s…pretty crazy,” Hagakure agrees, scratching his head. “Wait, uh - can Alter Ego get online? Like can we call for help from outside?”
“Hmm, probably not.” Asahina hums in thought, crossing her arms. “We’re in a bathhouse after all.”
“Then, if we take it outside of here-”
“No.” Kirigiri says flatly. “We can’t take any risks. Taking it outside might mean that the mastermind will discover it.”
“Yeah, but, I think it’s better to get help sooner than later. You know…” He pauses for a moment, tilting his head pointedly towards Owada. Throughout this whole time, the Ultimate Biker Gang Leader had been as still as a mouse, face turned downwards towards the floor. Hagakure clears his throat awkwardly. “Can’t we try it?”
There’s a sharp tap as Celeste laces her fingers, rings clicking together. “As stated earlier. We cannot take unnecessary risks. And we are not in the position to be pointlessly altruistic.” Her tone is casual, but Hagakure seems to shrink away from her, defeated.
“I…okay. Fine, sure.” He scratches at his head, then pauses. “Ah, wait a minute. Does Alter Ego, like, know…?
His question peters off, but the implication hangs over them like a heavy fog. Byakuya watches them cast uneasy glances at each other, then back to Alter Ego, as if trying to figure out who should break the news.
“It already knows.” He mutters. He’s not trying to be loud, but in the silence everyone could hear it anyways.
“...Not to say you’re lying or anything, Byakuya, but how do you…?”
Instead of answering Hagakure out loud, he reaches into his jacket pocket and withdraws the handbook, flipping it open and holding it up, screen facing them. Someone gasps.
“Yes,” Alter Ego confirms their unspoken question, and its voice echoes uncannily, doubled between the laptop and his handbook. “Master made it so I can be accessed through Byakuya’s handbook, so I could assist him with his visual impairment. I can also access the microphone function on this device, so I was able…I was able to overhear what happened”
The little, buzzing voice trails off sadly, and Byakuya suddenly feels uncomfortable, as the room grows all the more dreary. He clicks the handbook closed, suddenly irritated.
“That should explain it.“ He sighs. “Chihiro built Alter Ego to try and help find a way out of here, and at the same time gave me access so I could be self-sufficient. That’s the extent of my knowledge about it.”
He looks up and finds nearly all of them with their faces tilted towards him, and shifts, disconcerted. “What?”
“Nothing…it’s just kinda sweet that you’re, like, telling us this yourself.” Hagakure, ridiculously, sounds almost happy about this. “You never really talked to us about yourself before.”
“There’s no point in being secretive about it. Not when I was already forced to reveal it during the trial.” He sniffs. Immediately, Hagakure looks away, chagrined. From Byakuya’s periphery, he can see Makoto still facing away, his ears turning pink.
Kirigiri clears her throat. “...For the time being, it’s clear that we need to ensure Alter Ego remains a secret from the mastermind.” She says, and Byakuya watches as she types something out, a thick line of black characters. Every few keystrokes, she stops, and deletes the last word in a series of light clicks; listening closer, the sound was awkward and irregular, each press slurring into the next key. With a slight twinge of guilt, he realizes that the cause of it was her left hand - the one he had practically crushed.
After a moment’s consideration, weighing his conscience with what was at stake, he nudges her slightly with his knee. “Move. You type too slow.”
“And how would you know that?”
“I can hear it.” He replies flatly. “You type like you’re all thumbs. Move over.”
He half-expects her to stay where she is, to ignore him and continue, but to his surprise she actually complies, standing up and stepping aside. He crouches into the space she had just abandoned, sliding his hands over the keyboard until his index fingers find the tiny, tell-tale grooves of the position keys. The size and dimensions are different from his computer at home, but for a moment the feeling is so familiar that he’s almost nostalgic.
“What did you want to ask again?”
“If it has any contingency measures in place for if Monokuma - or the mastermind, or anyone suspicious - happens to find it.”
His fingers skim over the keys, clicking fluidly. A thin line of black appears at the bottom of the screen in time to his movements, but he can’t confirm if the output is accurate; judging by the way Makoto gasps behind him, and the way Hagakure whistles, he can guess that it’s more or less correct.
“Impressive,” Celeste says, in an appreciative tone. “I suppose being such an esteemed heir means you have many talents.”
He can’t tell if she’s mocking him, so he decides to ignore her, though he allows himself a small amount of smugness. He finishes typing: “Is this what you wanted to ask?”
Instead of replying, Kirigiri leans over his shoulder and clicks the ‘enter’ button. After a moment’s pause:
“Hm, to be honest, so far I’ve just been trying to be reeeally careful with when I’m active…though I guess that backfired last night, with me scaring Aoi.” Alter Ego hums in thought. “But, I do have a secret plan! If anyone comes around who I don’t recognize on my webcam…I’ll scream super loud!”
“That’s so basic!” Asahina blurts out, shocked by the simple nature of it.
“Yes, and it’s not likely to work at night.” Ogami grumbles. “The bedrooms are soundproofed.”
“Maybe we can try taking turns staying up?” Makoto suggests. “I can take the first night, I don’t mind…”
“I think such a sudden change in our patterns is likely to draw suspicion from the mastermind. Which would be rather counterproductive.” Celeste says, and Makoto ducks his head immediately. “Though, your thoughtfulness is appreciated.”
“Then it can’t be helped.” Kirigiri sighs. “I’ll leave my door open. I’m at the end of the hallway anyways, so if anything happens, I should be able to react the quickest.”
What a crazy woman. “You’d leave yourself vulnerable?” He scoffs. After all the precautions he’s seen her take, it’s hard to imagine her sacrificing herself to any degree.
“It’s a risk I’m willing to take. Besides, I’m not so helpless. I have no intention of going down without a fight.” She pauses, mouth open like she’s about to say more, before she decides against it. “Anyways. We should avoid any mention or contact with Alter Ego as much as possible, to draw as little attention as we can.”
She claps her hands sharply, a sound that makes more than one person jump, and makes Byakuya almost flinch. “For the time being…let’s disperse.”
< previous - from start - next >
#thpff#danganronpa fanfiction#thpff chapters#togiri#<- bc i wrote this with togiri intent. for the togiri truthers#byakuya togami#the h in chihiro stands for. haunting the narrative!!!!!#i was writing this chapter on the plane with my computer brightness turned alllll the way down#byakuya can't really read kyoko's reaction and therefore sees it as super nonchalant. and i know that with her scars it probably didnt hurt#but i also wanna imagine her tearing up like. motherfucking ow??#swearing under her breath and stamping her foot while he's changing and having to play it off like she was just looking at his books#both of them feeling somewhat guilty for the other person's situation and trying to help but only by way of insulting them#like 'ugh i cant believe you. fine i'll do this but only bc i dont wanna have to deal with you' as they try to compensate for each other#sorry not much naegami but theyre divorced rn and everyone's busy mourning and stuff#naegami development: they have a moment of humility and intimacy and sleep in the same bed#togiri development: he accidentally slams her hand in the door and doesnt apologize#HIROO my friend hiroo......ily hiro and how much u care sobb#anyways im taking a break after this. sob. wails.
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in the video game pikmin four by nintenbo your player character has an option in ur menu that is "rewind time". positing this as a power that you have that nobody else seems to. at least to ur perception. this power is commonly how u achieve dandori beast status by getting practice in thru repeating dungeons. the other dandori supercharged character in the game is louie. he knows how to cook alien animals perfectly seemingly through repeated experiment. but he has not wiped out any species in a certain are yet . do you see my vision
#pikmin 4#louie pikmin#watched frankenbugs' louie vod today while playing dynomites. and then went to a cafe and drank coffee which I really shouldnt ingest#''there are some details in this that dont add up baku'' hi do you wanna hear about the rookie/player character Ive decided I'll draw from#now on. they dont have a name their helmet is always filled with red smoke due to the format of the game only the rescue corps know what#they look like. not even I know. I think they have sort of the second body type. they come from a place (planet?) they call ''auchan''#nobody can hear them thru the smoke. they have to breathe that shit to live. Im going to pass out now good night. have fun ok
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∠( ᐛ 」∠)_ya boi made washi tapes, please consider Purchasing them. at cozylittleartshoppe on etsy. good print, good sticc, i am obsessed
#small business#washi tape#portal 2#infinity train#the owl house#etsy#support small business#there were sticky notes! they dont stick very good. they kinda have a couple problems. im still talkin it thru with my manu as of queueing#the print is ok - the print is great actually! they just dont. stick. and that's one thing#but they leave just a liiiitttle bit of sticky residue on the Next notepad in the stack#and you can see it#and it sticks just a little bit on the front of that next note. like 1/10 sticky; MAYBE 2/10 if ur unlucky.#if you tend to washi-tape your notes up anyway it's probably fine but im not sure what i'll do with them yet#but i have Two Hundred of them so uhhhhh#i'm thinking i'll sell them at a big discount. because they're still pretty ok as memo pads! but i have to see what my manu decides to do#which is such a shame because they LOOK really really really cool!!!!!! they just dont Sticky good#but also i have people buy seconds all the time and say 'i dont even know whats wrong with this' so i wonder if#my standards are way too high and people really would be ok buying these for like 50% off or something#hrmmmm. send dms/replies/asks (anons on) if you have any opinions#im hearing from other shop owners that generally unless its officially post-it brand it doesnt stick very well#but custom print post its are very expensive OTL so i think for now i'll just make non-stick post its in the future#the washis are beautiful and perfect though. i love the washis. beautiful perfect flawless tapes. they even have stickers on the side!!
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decided to leave my job and i'm gonna fr gonna cryyyyy
#literally can't work with my new boss bc i can't trust her#she went to the head of the department with complaints abt me without ever speaking to me or giving me any indication she was unhappy#and various other reasons im not happy w management and the school in general#HOWEVER#i love the kids sm and im gonna miss them and worry abt them 😭😭😭😭#im literally scared for some of them bc it feels like the other teachers have no empathy for some of my favorite kids#one of them who is so so sweet and when he cries i'm the girst to comfort him bc everyone else thinks he needs to toughen up 😭#also my new boss sucks so so bad and is gonna be such a bad influence on him and all the other kids#and my main co teacher said she's gonna quit if i do so i cant even beg her to look out for my babies and take care of them 😭💔#and it would be unprofessional to mention any concerns to the parents but genuinely some of the kids would be better off elsewhere#like im actually worried about it#i dont want some of the really sweet sensitive kids to lose their sweetness bc they're being treated unkindly#and the worst bullies and spoiled kids are the ones the teachers dote on#so it encourages some of the sweet ones to act out for attention#anyway 💔#i really do need to go tho#and i'm sure i'll love the kids at my new job#but im so sadddd#also its unlikely i can find a well paying job w this age group even tho i love this age group#its basically impossible not to get attached to them at this age and i get to pick them up and hold and cuddle them and stuff#and you cant really do that with the older kids sadly#literally on the verge of tears even seriously thinking abt leaving#things have been p bad for a while due to management but i never seriously considered leaving bc i love the kids so much#but i literally can't see a future here#and my new boss clearly hates me and im worried she's going to try to get me fired#she already made up a bunch of lies about me and its only been three weeks#anyway i only make 15 an hour so hopefully i'll at least get more somewhere else and i know i'll still love the kids#its just really hard#which is why i've stayed this long#i was p unhappy before my new boss even started bc of the way they treated my old boss
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When it comes to hygiene tasks and self care with disability and chronic illness, its pretty much a constant case of: don't let perfect be the enemy of the good.
Basically: it's better to do something, than to do nothing at all.
TLDR: Just because you can't do something "properly" doesn't mean you shouldn't do it at all. Do it half-way. Do it shitty. Do it barely. Do it on a technicality. But do what you can. Just try, because doing something will help you.
If you don't have the energy to scrub your body with a sponge, just rub soap over your skin with your hands.
If you don't have the energy to wash your whole body with soap, just hit the places where sweat accumulates, or where you're smelliest.
If you don't have the energy to wash with soap AT ALL, just sitting in water is better than nothing. It will wash away dirt and oils.
If you can't bathe or shower at all, a warm wash cloth is your new best friend. If that's too much, then try bath wipes. They're a bit bigger than regular wet wipes, and a bit more heavy duty. They're designed to help keep bed ridden patients clean in hospitals.
If you don't have the energy to dry yourself after a bath or a shower, just put on a bathrobe and get into bed. If you don't have the energy to get dressed afterwards, just don't. It can wait until you can.
If you don't have energy to brush your teeth for two minutes, honestly, just a cursory scrub is better than not doing anything.
If you can't brush your teeth twice a day, brush in the evenings. It will help take away the build up of food from the day.
If you don't have the energy to brush AT ALL, honestly, just take a cloth and wipe the plaque off your teeth. Rinse with mouth wash after if you'd like. Something is always better than nothing.
If you can't floss twice a day. Try once. If that's too much, try a few times a week. If that's too much, try setting aside a day once a week as a goal. If you can't keep a schedule, do it when you're able to. Hell, I keep some floss next to my bed so that if I forget and don't have the energy to go get it, I can just reach over.
If you can't iron your clothes, don't bother. Wrinkles are fine. Wear jumpers over wrinkly t-shirts. No one will know, and honestly, most people won't even care. If it's really wrinkly and it's A Big Deal And It Needs To Be Ironed, here's my life hack. Step 1: take a spray bottle, and spritz the item of clothing (while you're wearing it is easiest) until it's lightly damp. Step 2: use a hair-dryer on the clothes until they're dry. It gets rid of creases like nobody's business, it's easier than lugging out the iron and ironing board, and you get to have nice toasty warm clothes afterwards.
If you can't fold your clothes, try just hanging them up. It's less commitment. It's quicker to do. Granted, you need to have the space in order to do this, but it is also good at helping you downsize, and lets you visualise exactly what you have.
If you can't put your clothes away, invest in a couple of laundry baskets, and then just keep your clean clothes in the baskets. You can then separate washed clothes into underwear, pants, and shirts baskets. You can just leave them like that. I'm giving you permission to never fold your laundry again if you can't. Just leave it unfolded. Who's going to care? Something is better than nothing. If you can, try to put those baskets into your closet so that you can keep the clutter out of sight, and give yourself a more restful environment.
If you can't separate your clothing out into different categories and wash them "properly" (whites, warm tones, cool tones, darks, delicates / switching between hot & cold washes / paying attention to laundry instructions on the label) then just don't worry about it. If you cold wash your clothes, colours won't bleed. Maybe gradually over the course of dozens of washes there'll be some changes in hue, but it's really not as high stakes as the One Red Sock In The Whites Turns Them Pink trope makes it out to be.
I've pretty much come to the point in my life where if a piece of clothing can't survive the washer and dryer, then it's just not meant to be. I colour separate my clothes, and if I have the energy/remember I'll take my bras and jumpers out of the washing machine to drip dry. But otherwise, I leave it to the universe.
If you can't separate out your recycling, then don't. If you have a large amount of rubbish you need to get rid of but the idea of separating it out properly is stopping you from doing so, then just don't worry about it. I know it's not ideal, but if you have garbage in your room/house and you need to get rid of it, please just get rid of it. Don't let the problem get bigger and harder to deal with. Don't let "doing something properly" get in the way of keeping your living spaces clean. Please. Give yourself understanding.
If you can't wash your dishes, get paper plates. Obviously, it's not ideal, but it is better that you eat food than skipping meals. It is better that you have a clean kitchen, rather than having dishes piling up and making it harder to look after yourself.
If you can't prepare meals for yourself keep making the tasks easier and easier. If you can't do recipes, then simplify. Use pasta sauce from the jar instead of making it. Eat canned soup. Buy food you can just stick in the oven. If you eat fish fingers and microwave veggies every night, it's better than not eating anything at all. It's better than having to fork out money on take-out. If you need ready-made meals, then get them. If you're literally just eating a raw cauliflower for dinner; 1) I see you, 2) me too, sis, 3) something is better than nothing.
These are the basic things you need to do every day to function as a person. They are your activities of daily living. Brushing your teeth. Bathing or showering. Using the bathroom. Getting dressed. Eating. Drinking. Sleeping. Keeping your environment clean. You don't need to do these things perfectly, but they need to happen in order for you to have a decent quality of life.
And it breaks my heart, because I know that so many disabled people can't do these things every day. I'm not saying this to guilt or judge, I'm saying that these are basic needs; you deserve these things. These things bring dignity. If a disabled person is unable to do these things, it diminishes their quality of life. It robs them of dignity.
If you need help to do these things, Its okay to ask for help. It's okay to need help. But if you can't get that help and you have to do these things by yourself -- or you just plain want to be independent and do it without help-- then don't hold yourself to standards you can't meet.
Don't let perfect be the enemy of the good. Doing something is always better than doing nothing. Even if it's not perfect. Even if it's not done well. Do what you can.
#lord knows that im still trying to pull myself out of the muck and into independence and dignity#i had to set a rule for myself that i need to wear clean clothes every day. and that i need to wear pyjamas to bed#that one's been hard. sometimes I dont have the energy to do it and i just stay in the same clothes for two days at a time#or i go to sleep in what i was wearing. but when i do follow that rule my quality of life is drastically better#not feeling dirty or gross goes a long way to making you feel more like a person#i also made a rule that im not allowing myself to look frumpy outside anymore. that means clothes that look nice#no more trackies and pj pants and all that stuff. i basically lived in perpetual pyjamas for four years and im over it#i still dress comfortably but the important thing is that i dress. i look put together. i wear things that make me happy#(and i didnt need to buy anything to do so. i just needed to start taking better care of myself)#and i stopped letting perfect be the enemy of the good. i started doing things shitty rather than not doing it at all#and the more i keep pushing with my ADLs the better i feel#what helps is now i dont have to contend with stairs and that has made a dramatic change to what im able to accomplish#ive also finally built up enough strength in my body that im able to go to the shops by myself. so i can buy things to make easy meals#and mum doesnt mind if i just put some things in the oven or air fryer for us for dinner.#i still cant really cook. i felt bad about that for the longest time. i didnt even try bc i knew what id make would be disappointing#or it wouldnt be up to the standards of what everyone else was making. i was so sick of feeling like a let down all the time.#now i just make what i can and my mum doesnt complain bc shes in the same boat.#and yeah. having help would be nice. it would mean id be able to do more than what i can do by myself.#and its great to see how far ive come. but im not a burden. and when i have the accommodations i need i can do a lot more#i do something rather than nothing and my life has dramatically changed since then. ive just gotten better and better.#chronic illness#disability#chronic pain#spoonie#one things for certain and thats that im never going to let myself rely on anyone else ever again.#i never want to be on the other side of that ever again. I don't want to be anyone's burden. i dont want that hanging over me#i do things by myself or i dont do them at all. and god fucking willing i'll never go back to needing as much help as i used to#i really didnt realise just how much of an obstacle living with stairs was in my life. it was the biggest barrier against everything#stairs stopped me from being independent. if i couldnt traverse them i just didnt go anywhere. my world shrank so much#and not having the proper wheelchair shrinks my world even more. im stronger than i used to be but im still severely limited in where i go
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okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead
#okay venting in the tags you are very welcome to ignore or not respond to it i just need to yell somewhere#i always thought id be an art therapist because well i care about people and want to help them and love art#but everyday i wake up feeling like a fraud and an imposter so like. should i really be doing all that when im not entirely#certain i cpuld handle it??? like i know i haven't gotten the meaty bit of the education towards that yet but like#university costs a disgusting amount of money here and if i pick the wronf thing im likely doomed forever thanks to awful government#i know things could get better like they did after thatcher but honestly im not putting any bets on it considering how the current labour#party is so like if i fuck up here im basically dead#also can i actually do art uni. like could i cope with that. im deeply unethused with art at the moment and honestly will i evwr be#idk#it was jusr a thing i always did but education around it is fucking soul sucking#also the emotional weight of hearing and solving people's problems as a therapist. i would consider myself quite empathetic for the most#part i feel other people's pain quite strongly and obviously as a therapist id be feeling that quite a bit so could i actually cope with it?#ik therapists have therapists but still#i mean im doing work experience at an occupational therapy place so ill just be extra inquisitive about it all to make sure im going#the way i wanna#I'll be fine by the end of a levels ill probably understand what i want in life#if not then gap year to work it out#should probably look at unis for english language too then#sigh#ucas website i may as well marry you#ill be okay im getting in my head about stuff im actually pretty good at art even if there are things i can improve on (like patience lol)#yeah maybe the voice telling me i suck doesnt know shit and should shut up#yeah#shut it nasty voice you're wrong actually!!! im doing just fine and you're being overly critical#they should make a brain that's your friend and not mush that hides the amalgamation of every bad thing ever in its crevices#crevices shoyild be filled with kindness and love.#sex jokes about that#why the fuck is yahoo mail syncing i dont use you you washed up search engine#bue waffling#vent post
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how to write vent post title that does not come off as self-pitying and or accusatory (because it's NOT !)
#sorry tumblr is like a diary to me idk what i'll do w this blog after i (sigh) inevitably move on#either way#im convinced everyone hates me again :3 but realistically no one cares about me even enough to hate me im just stupid and self centred 💔#if anything me TYPING these posts is actuvely turning people against me#again with the assumptions that people care enough to read these 😭 fhskfbhsjfkg#i hate that i care so much what people online think of me cuz irl it's like. whatever#but here there are so many cool people who i admire and would love to be friends with im always hyperparanoid of everything i do#and still i manage to overstep and come off as annoying#like obvs you're allowed to hate me even if you're someone i look up to like that's your perogative#but i hate worrying about IF anyone hates me#oughgh this is easier irl because usually people send off pretty clear signals if they dont like you#but online (esp with how prickly this fandom is) i don't know whether im being insecure and reading into things or whether people just don't#like me (which again is fine i would just rather know if anyone gets it)#i figure art is the one way i can get people to like me 💔 which sounds kinda pathetic because irl i KNOW im liked and capable!#fandom has just become such a big part of my personality that i cant detach my self worth from it#and i do love art and drawing and such i hate that even if i know people my stuff EYE dont and it doesnt mean anything or act as a signifier#of my friendships#wow .... i really am my own therapist ..... i should shut up#the industrial revolution and its consequences (jofandom)#i think these posts are half self exploration half ... almost self harm? because sometimes im so derogatory about myself on purpose in a#'you're worthless' way. but at the same time it's cathartic and i always feel better having probed at my feelings and gotten them in order#not to do a complete 180 but it's MY post and JO LONDON IN *12* DAYS!!!!!!!! AHH i'm sooo excited if it doesnt live up to my expectations i#may cry a little. and there will be another vent post from me !#sometimes i wonder if anyone actually reads these 😭#vee rambles
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Namekian Culture (Headcanons)
Posting my random world-building headcanons here once again.
Sign Language
It’s mandatory for Namekians to learn sign languages and code-like ways of communication (like morse code) that makes use of their keen hearing.
The current Namekians in New Namek were taught a lot of Namekian languages that existed before the climate crisis and each of them were made to be fluent in at least one more than their universal language (the one Porunga knows) and their equivalent sign languages (yes, of course you can wish to Porunga with the Namekian SL). The Namek also see even just a hearing that's average for most of the universe's people (like the Earthlings') as a disability and they accommodate this as they do all of their people.
Dragons & Warriors ≠ Their Careers
Much like any civilization, Namekians do not see being a Dragon and a Warrior as a hindrance to a path that they wish to have and have a wide range of careers they can choose from (they at least had engineers, scientists, teachers, cultivators, and all varieties of artists judging from the spaceship and the things they had in their villages). Namekians are known migrants in the universes they are in. However, due to the climate diminishing, they had to start from scratch and had to focus on survival.
They also don’t usually give birth as much as Guru did and used to have a better ratio of Dragons and Warriors in their planet. Since giving birth to Warriors needs more energy (headcanon), Guru decided to have one sole warrior (Nail) to train the willing Dragons.
Life Partnerships / Relationships
Even before Guru repopulated the planet with his children alone, their society already did not comply with amatonormativity. Namekians, with their long lives, rarely settle for monogamous relationships. Some Namekians preferred to have multiple separate partners, some preferred a polycule and all the different types of ethical non-monogamy, while some preferred none at all. Queerplatonic relationships are the most common.
Each kind of relationship was as ordinary as breathing and Namekians were also even known to espouse outside their race due to the long-encouraged migration of their people. Now, however, most Namekians who long for partners in New Namek are encouraged to wish to Porunga for the opportunity to travel in space and find intimate companions, and some had already left the nest.
[Headcanons beyond this point have less than zero canon foundation (it came out of my a– you know what I mean)]
Nuptials
Namekians give great importance to their vows of love and find it unacceptable to violate them. They also have their own ritual for marriage (I haven’t thought of one) that can be done between two or more people.
Before the nuptials, the Namekians are supposed to use their Materialization (famously known in the fandom as Clothes Beam ™️) technique to create an accessory to give their partner/s at the ceremony. The purpose is to create an object tough enough to last their long lifetime.
I've long since headcanon that the longer one stays using the technique, the better quality the material is. Unlike the kais who can create even the hardest metal in the universe in a snap of a finger, mortals make better use of Materialization with how long they pour their ki on them.
This object may be given back or kept after divorce and must always have the name of the one who created them. (I think some polycules create all of theirs at the same time or even create separate pendants for one necklace or bracelet but I think it’s better if they give each other different kinds of accessories like bangles, earrings, noserings, pins or something for their clothes, or even hats.)
Vows
This is just the vows I created specifically for Namekians that I plan to use in my every fanfic if I ever finish/post any:
(After receiving the accessory the person will say:)
“The gift of your embedded soul shall bring with it your comfort, your pain, your thoughts, your worries, your warmth, your memories, and your hopes and dreams; as long as a piece of you resides with my person, so will you.
"I, who have accepted the you who stands before myself, accept you as my companion beyond the end of my life or the day we find ourselves unable to respect and trust one another; as you would do the same.”
Vows are spoken in the language of one's heart, to which most of the time is the person’s native language. (If you're bilingual then the combination of the two MAY be your native language; then if you're multilingual, more variations like that etc.)
Extra: I invented a Namekian Equivalent to "I love you"
Pikkaro apakuto = My love/respect/adoration/admiration of you knows no bounds.
Apakuto = the word that can mean love, adoration, admiration, respect, or all of it at the same time.
Extra Extra HC: If Dende would have his own dragon, he'd probably name them Apakuruto (Dragon of Love/admiration/etc 😌) maybe following his father's dragon of dreams, Porunga.
[To see my first HC dump, check out this post!]
#i still havent posted my goku instant transmission headcanon and im sorry. i'll do that soon#yes of course i have time to create namekian vows do you KNOW what i think abt in my free time?? adfjadfj#look at how i say 'fanfics i havent finished and/or posted' bcs i really dont huh#i hopefully can see them posted soon too#fritz headcanons#masenko huh#dbz#dragon ball z#namekians#namekian#dbz guru#dbz dende#dende#guru#i actually have a paper due later. why i did this instead is beyond me#dragon ball headcanons
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i'm sad about a man again so the obvious solution is to remove them from my preferences entirely on the apps. bisexual in theory but no longer in practice. retired from bisexuality. taking a break from my studies (in bisexuality) to vacation abroad (with a broad)
#i do like them but i also dont.#like i'm capable of enjoying their company and CERTAINLY of finding them attractive#but i also have literally 0% trust or faith in any of them#because they've never been anything but shitty to me!! ever!!#even the one i thought was really sweet up until this week has turned a corner and hurt my feelings for fun#basically he didn't text me back for like two days then basically said like#''hey sorry i've been sick and it hurts to look at screens but i'll keep you updated as i feel better''#so i said ok sorry to hear it hope u feel better (despite not believing him even a little.)#and it's been four days since then and he hasn't even opened my text. and like. i'm not that stupid okay i know when im being lied to#and it just really hurts my feelings. i wish he'd just been fucking mature about it and just TOLD me he doesnt wanna talk anymore#or literally even ghosting me with no info would have been better than giving me some stupid lie and then disappearing anyway#and like. it feels worse when i let a man hurt me. because i should know better by now.#when girls hurt my feelings or ghost me or whatever it's like ok that's fine that's dating yknow??#when i feel myself getting sad over a MAN it's like humiliating#vent post
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a little personal project i'm slowly chipping away at, thought it would be fun to make it into a chart that i add a doodle to every time i finish a new character so i can track how i'm going with it!
by project i just mean i want an oc of each type. i'm not making a game or anything the positions listed are purely for fun HDJBFJFKE
#clai speaks#clai's ocs#ignore the doodle of cyril though that isnt final. it was part of me Trying to come up with something for him so i just scribbled whatever#its not what i want him to look like but yhe doodle was so cute i wanted to keep it. maybe i'll turn it into a different oc idk#the laguardia siblings!!! and clear's here too ig#anyone who's been written here whether they have a design or name or not have some kind of character established already#like while i have a couple concepts for a rock trainer nothing is concrete yet so that spot remains empty for now#but even though chase doesnt even have a finalized name or position i know he's a gifted psychic who just uses his powers to do art#mago and colbur are brothers and run their gym together like tate and liza. first explicitly dual type gym!#(striaton gym not counted bc you only fight one of the triplets there)#chip and cassidy are also brother and sister#corey and kalin are cousins#mago and colbur run a berry farm and cafe. cole runs a pizza parlor. polly makes jewelry out of bug-type pkmn silk and stuff#cassidy's research centers on tm/hm development. unnamed dragon trainer is a costume designer#corey is an actor so good at her job people joke that she's being possessed by her characters. kalin is a mischievous ballet dancer#chip i'm pretty happy with. he's supposed to be like a youngster that grew up and became more experienced#he used to be shy before setting out on his journey but grew immensely from it and became champion#goes back to the first town and mentors the new trainers bc he knows how scary it is to set out on a journey for the first time#hides his champion status so that the kids aren't afraid to challenge him#i didnt want to go too detailled bc it is super late HSIBFIF I SHOULD HAVE BEEN ASLEEP LIKE THREE HOURS AGO#i just really want to share these bc these concepts have just been sitting in my notes for like a year?#over a year. i started this some time after making alto#point is i've been sitting on these ideas way too long but designing them so slowly i dont want to wait to talk about them anymore#this chart is so empty rn but i will finish it!!! one day!!!!
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