#i'll have time to figure it out soon
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
owl-wolf · 1 month ago
Text
Tumblr media
i think this is my first attempt at drawing stan (and mabel!)
710 notes · View notes
bacchuschucklefuck · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
we let the ocean drown out our voices/enjoying the bitterness/in the chaotic light, I close my eyes and see
459 notes · View notes
halcyoncyrus · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
This goober turns up at your door, what do you do?
356 notes · View notes
danieyells · 5 months ago
Text
Tokyo Debunker Stigmas, Artifacts, And Other Possibly Combat Relevant Information
Since we've met all of our current ghouls, I decided to share my non-comprehensive list of the stigmas and powers and weapons of the ghouls we've seen so far!! This isn't all of them because they haven't all been revealed or explained. But it should be everything we've seen so far! Let me know if/where I've missed things! I've also mentioned some other details for some of them, namely the less human ghouls.
Jin Kamurai
Stigma
Incantation - Bianerus
Effect - forces the target to obey his command.
Currently cannot be activated without the PC's enhancement. At present, only Tohma, the PC, and few if any others know this.
Incantation can be recited mentally
Continuous commands("kneel") only seem to last a few minutes at most
Artifact
Sword - teleportation
Can be used to cut a portal into the air for teleporting someone with him, but doesn't appear to need this for just teleporting Jin
Tohma Ishibashi
Stigma
Incantation - Argeas
Effect - "lets him send vibrations long distances"
Vibrations include the vibrations from his voice, allowing his voice to carry longer distances, making him heard further away
When enhanced he can break through anomalous soundproofing and better specify the direction his vibrations carry(as neither Kaito nor Luca heard his voice from outside the room)
Artifact
Halberd - ?
Other
Tohma naturally has "brute strength" which, combined with his stigma, allows him to essentially make earthquakes.
Tohma has the trust of Darkwick, allowing him to easily get access to powerful common artifacts such as the skeleton key
Lucas Errant
Stigma
Incantation - Iggnaim
Effect - creates a barrier.
When enhanced the barrier becomes visible. It's significantly larger and supported by a large anomaly that's invisible to everyone but the PC and perhaps Kaito, even unable to be seen on cameras or by Luca himself.
Artifact
Twin blades - ?
Appear identical aside from a difference in color.
Smashed through reenforced glass to choose him as their new master.
Apparently sound to Luca like a crying child. He believes the child must be begging for his help.
Other
Carries around a knife.
Kaito Fuji
Stigma
Incantation - ?
Effect - "can see auras sometimes?"
So far hasn't been seen/used, and Hyde didn't sound certain about what it does.
Kaito has notably enhanced vision, able to see things that are further away and surprisingly skilled at reading lips.
Kaito screams when Luca's stigma is enhanced, looking straight up at the anomaly it spawned despite no one else but the PC appearing to see it. While it's possible he only saw its aura, it's likely he saw the anomaly itself.
Artifact
Rogue bow - ?
Produces magic arrows that veer nonsensically off path when shot, except, seemingly, if there's a malicious or threatening target(?) at which point it will veer to save an endangered target(such as the ghost boy being taken by the arms) and/or go directly for the source of a threat or malice(such as the faceless anomaly about to attack the PC and Riku or the glowing grave of Natalie Hunt.) When the magic arrow hit the glowing grave it "blew the whole thing apart."
Other
Pretty acrobatic despite not training, flipping and cartwheeling across the graveyard to dodge the ghostly arms trying to grab him.
Alan Mido (Alan Todoroki)
Stigma
Incantation - Yagsal Olbalsa
Effect - ? "Seems to be an extremely dangerous ability" -B's Log
Seems to enhance his strength, as he punched Takeru's tulpa in half
Seems to make him uncontrollably violent, seeking to kill his enemies(looking for Takeru's tulpa's head and crushing his throat) and possibly reduces his awareness of his surroundings(light removed from the eyes of his sprite and panel art, grabbing and pulling the PC without realizing he was hurting her, continually attacking Takeru despite being aware he couldn't take him out with punching, only regaining his senses when Sho grabbed and spoke to him)?
Artifact
Lead pipe - ?
Leo Kurosagi
Stigma
Incantation - Haxs
Effect - super hearing.
Increases distance and precision of his hearing. Does not allow him to hear through anomalous soundproofing.
When enhanced increases distance further and allows him to hear through anomalous soundproofing.
Had the PC enhance it in order to find the escaping possessed guard during the prison riot. Uncertain if this allows him to hear ghosts or if he simply needed the increased precision due to the surrounding noise.
Makes Leo sensitive to sounds and noise even when it isn't active, resulting in noticing noises other people can't hear and frequent complaints when in noisy environments or around loud or high-pitched people.
Artifact
Bubble gum - can be manipulated into any shape when blown.
The longer it's chewed, the longer he can manipulate it
"So if I chewed this one a bunch and stuck it over your nose and mouth...
"...you'd suffocate. Bye bye Honor Roll."
suggests that it can't be removed until the time he's manipulated it runs out?
Cannot capture incorporeal targets.
Shohei Haizono
Stigma
Incantation - Spurno
Effect - "just jams stuff"?????
Primarily seems to push things or result in change of direction, possibly able to cause sensory scrambling resulting in uncoordinated movement or temporary stunning(as with Takeru's tulpa?)
Leo says it can be used on incorporeal targets, but Sho says it can't take something down unless it's "super weak"
Used in Episode 2 to prevent Takeru's tulpa from walking straight
When enhanced in Episode 2, pushed Takeru's tulpa back with greater force, but didn't push him away, or cause him to release the PC(stunned him?)
Used in Episode 12 to remove the ghost of the prison guard possessing Alan and push the ghost into a cell to lock it there until it moved on
Artifact
Motorcycle - ?
Her name is Bonnie. She eats food placed in her fuel tank instead of gasoline, including chewing it and even burping. She's picky about what she eats. Her favorite food is barbecue sandwiches, but she also eats jerky.
If she isn't fed three times a day "she gets sulky and refuses to start." Her engine won't start at all if she's hungry.
She's described as a "large motorbike" by the PC's narration, and Subaru apologizes for the amount of space he's taking up on the wharf in Hotarubi to feed her, corroborating this.
She seems to have some control of her own movement as Sho rewards her for staying upright when stopped and made to buck by Luca's barrier.
Sho drives her just about everywhere and drives her around at Leo's request as well. She has a travel permit that needs to be shown when leaving and reentering campus, however she's able to break through the checkpoint with enough speed.
She's kept on her artifact chain when not ridden.
She's able to comfortably be ridden by two people but three is very tight.
Haru Sagara
Stigma
Incantation - Bahnti
Effect - reduces gravity's effects on his own body.
Reduced effect of gravity allows him to move extremely fast.
Makes his body much more fragile when used. Possibly includes weakening his immune system?
Artifact
Deck brush - ?
Towa Otonashi
He rides around on it while distracting Otohime, skidding across the floor on the brush until he tips over.
Other
Right arm has been replaced with a prosthetic after being broken by "Gen"(presumably Shion Genkai) which is currently damaged after he caught Ritsu's camera with it. Because of the current extent of the damage he was unable to perform labor tasks that require it.
Stigma
Incantation - ? (has an audio file, but the spelling hasn't been shown.)
Effect - Controls wind and weather(?)
Towa exhibits control over weather as his primary ability, and he confirms it's his stigma when the PC asks in Episode 12.
Others' understanding of Towa's stigma is only that he controls lightning and that other weather patterns are random, not in response to Towa's feelings.
The weather reacts to Towa's emotions, causing the sky to darken in preparation of rain, lightning, or snowstorms when he's angry.
Towa is also able to predict weather that he doesn't control.
Towa can create lightning(which he uses to electrocute enemies), rain, wind(used to create a pillar of water for the PC to land on when falling off the boat, a whirlwind for gathering ducks, and to direct the rain sideways to wash bubble soap off of Kaito), snow, and possibly earthquakes(the ground is noted to start shaking in response to his anger.)
Artifact
He 'rides the wind' in order to jump high as though flying
Bubble wand - blown bubbles cause explosions.
The explosions are powerful enough to destroy glass that withheld a full grown Kraken.
Towa warns not to touch the bubbles, as they will kill you.
Not all bubbles seem to cause explosions as he blows bubbles from atop the Capybus without there being any harm done.
Other
Towa's nature is implied to actually be quite malicious and uncaring, especially towards things that are weak and especially towards humans, however he claims he changed because of "love." Several home screen lines, his full awakening line, and his response to being touched by the turtle anomaly in the Dragon Palace support that he hasn't fully changed his mindset, only represses it.
Towa cannot speak during the daytime and is only able to talk when it's night. This includes being in Obscuary, where it's permanently night, however the cover of clouds doesn't allow him to speak during the day meaning it's not related specifically to the visibility of the sun. However this is drawn into question when the presence of the giant cat anomaly in Episode 12 casts a shadow over him, briefly allowing him to speak.
Can speak to and understand anomalies, even those that lack speech capabilities(such as the tree on the hill.) Haru is aware of this ability.
Able to see and hear ghosts(Zenji) and possibly other things that only people who are "special" can see(the tree on the hill, which even Ed cannot see.)
When Towa is away from Jabberwock for an extended period of time(in Episode 4 it happened after 24 hours) the nature conditions deteriorated significantly, with water drying up and the sky dark despite it being sunny the previous day and the anomalies beginning to behave violently. According to Ed, if Towa is away from Jabberwock for too long the anomalies within will begin to die. Ed suggests that Haru is unaware of this fact. In Episode 12, despite being away for 3 days, this doesn't appear to happen.
Anomalies fear him and obey him, particularly when he's angry, even to the point of kneeling out of fear when he's furious. Normal animals experience the same fear, freezing and behaving anxiously in his presence.
Says the PC smells nicer than before, perhaps able to smell their curse's advancement due to the flowers that would grow on her as a Kyklos.
Ren Shiranami
Stigma
Incantation - Raothtas
Effect - Cleans things?
B's Log: "According to him it seems to be a power with little use."
Has only been used to remove Calamari's ink from the floor when wiping it up failed.
Artifact
Swim ring - restrains target.
Cannot be removed by the wearer.
Taiga Hoshibami
Has a rope attached that allows the wearer to be reeled in.
Cannot restrain incorporeal targets.
Stigma
Incantation - Malab
Effect - ?
Artifact
Tommy gun - takes anything broken into small enough pieces and fired from it as ammo.
Damage type seems to vary based on what was placed into it. Shards of glass created a swirl of glass shards, whereas bronze from a statue shot heavier rounds.
Doesn't seem to require ammo to fire.
Doesn't seem to work on everything as Taiga says his bullets don't work on anything lately. Possibly limited to hostile entities? (He was able to shoot the Oblivion Dealer, but not able to shoot the Kyklos--which ran away--or the Barong--which was non-threatening.)
Other
Carries a knife and a pistol.
Eats anomalies, though not exclusively, and gets hungry whenever he goes on a mission. His hunger for them results in varied behavior from minor irritation to nearly losing control of himself to the hunger. He can eat any physical anomaly thus far, being shown or referenced to eat anomalous animals, plants, objects, and "enzymes", and he finds anomalous plants and enzymes converted into beverages suitable for human consumption to taste unpleasant. He eats normal food and drinks normal alcohol without a problem. It's difficult to tell how he feels about and after eating anomalies, as it varies, although he enthusiastically expresses his desire to eat the Kyklos. It's hard to tell how new this behavior is as Romeo seems disgusted but not surprised by it and Taiga attempts to warns Romeo when he wants to eat the Barong mask(not in speech bubbles but able to be discerned in his audio.)
Appears to occasionally be aware of things that he has no way of knowing about, sometimes even seeming to know the future. Haru asks hin when several characters are returning, which suggests Haru is aware of this and occasionally asks him to predict outcomes.
Taiga asks Haru for a coin, saying he'll allow Haru to choose his desired outcome based on heads or tails. However it's uncertain if this means he can actually alter outcomes himself. His losing dialogue suggests that he attempts to, but doesn't always succeed.
His hunger may be able to be triggered or increased by smelling or seeing anomalous blood(such as the PC's.)
His memory is very poor, although he can remember things and people with prompting.
Romeo Scorpus Lucci
Stigma
Incantation - Tiris
Effect - "turns things into bombs".
Able to turn anything into a bomb, including non-explosive objects. Seems to require that he throws them?
The size of the blast depends on how attached to the target object its owner is. If Romeo truly values something he's blowing up, the explosion is quite destructive.
Hyde has him testing various types of prototype anomalous explosive materials for Darkwick on missions.
"To me, these prototypes are a path to catching anomalies in one piece." which implies most of Hyde's prototypes cause non-lethal explosions. One of his home screen lines mentions, for example, a tear bomb.
Artifact
Sniper rifle - ?
Maintains his bullets himself.
Doesn't always carry the same types of rounds. For example, he only had smoke bombs in the prologue.
When used against the Arachne in Episode 9 it blasted a large hole into its head? However when he fired it to gain the attention of the audience and when he shot at the door in Episode 8 the impact didn't seem as great, suggesting the impact/size of his bullets varies as needed.
Other
Ritsu Shinjo
Has the trust of Darkwick(or at least has Hyde's favor?) allowing him to carry around common artifacts as though he owns them(hammerspace briefcase which he added a custom case for; fox robe)
Implied to be missing his right leg(likely having been replaced by a prosthetic.) Kaito mentions that Romeo cannot run fast. He also shows noticeable pain and discomfort after being run into by Kaito.
Stigma
Incantation - Acimo
Effect - hardens his body. Increases his weight.
Prevents damage from concussive attacks such as kicks and bullets. If you kick him while it's active it'll hurt.
Doesn't seem to experience pain in this state.
Can survive explosions and escape from collapsed buildings unharmed.
Artifact
Compendium of Laws - ?
Has the contents memorized?
Taiga taught him to use it as a blunt weapon, although he forgot he did this.
Appears to glow somewhat when held, although what this suggests is unknown.
Subaru Kagami
Stigma
Incantation - Talnandio
Effects - psychometry.
Experiences memory fragments through almost anything he touches.
Passive, activates on contact with people, animals, anomalies, and objects without incantation.
Using it exhausts him to the point of needing a significant amount of rest, possibly even passing out shortly after usage.
Wears gloves and avoids crowded places to try and avoid accidentally setting it off. Feels bad about being able to learn people's secrets.
Artifact
Parasol - ?
Sturdy enough to destroy a possessed doll.
Haku Kusanagi
Stigma
Incantation - ?
Effect - ?
Implied he prefers not using it?
Artifact
Flute - ?
Used flute to remove himself and the PC from Kisaragi Station, knocking them out with some sort of ethereal water and causing them to wake up back on the empty train car.
Other
Able to see and communicate with spirits.
Able to perform various rituals such as laying spirits to rest and making talismans that allow people close to a spirit to see and hear them.
"Cordoned off the area" of the train and station the PC was on, which should have prevented interference from civilians. May be part of his Artifact or Stigma, or part of his capabilities as a Shinto priest.
Performs the stigma test for Darkwick.
According to Taiga he's able to remove curses if the anomaly that caused the curse is in front of him. It's uncertain if this is his stigma, part of his artifact, or another power.
Haku has the trust of Darkwick, allowing him to easily get access to powerful common artifacts such as the skeleton key
Zenji Kotodama (Taro Kirisaki)
Stigma
Incantation - ?
Effect - ?
Artifact
Doll - ?
Heavily resembles his brother as a child, according to Zenji. When Zenji and the doll protected Jiro, Zenji said "You've always been there for him when he needed it most." suggesting that there may have been a third Kirisaki brother.
Won't let anyone but Zenji and Jiro touch it. Protects Zenji and Jiro.
Appearance slightly changes to that of an oni when angered.
Has a mind of its own, or is perhaps possessed. Wanders around campus without Zenji, much to his concern.
Able to damage and destroy ghosts?
Joined Zenji in protecting Jiro from being eaten by the Arachne and seemed to be fine after the Arachne was destroyed while it and Zenji were inside it. Attacked the Arachne from within (with Zenji?) to distract it with pain so Jiro could attack it.
Other
As a ghost, Zenji cannot be touched, meaning he can't be damaged or killed. However he covers his ears when Haku performs a ritual to lay spirits to rest and covers his face in Subaru's warding card with incense, suggesting that he would be laid to rest under the right circumstances.
Zenji is not bound to Darkwick despite being a ghost who died on campus, and can come and go as he pleases.
Darkwick is unaware Jiro is present as only Haku and Towa(and eventually Subaru and the PC) are aware Zenji's spirit lingers. If Darkwick were to become aware of Zenji's presence they would want him laid to rest.
Due to Obon, people in Japan are more sensitive to spirits and anomalies are more frequent, causing Zenji to sometimes be visible or audible during the summer.
Zenji brings his doll with him most everywhere, however people can only see the doll and not him. The same happens with his biwa. If he carries them, they appear to float.
Zenji can touch physical objects(his doll, his biwa, and his phone) and his footsteps are audible if he doesn't silence them. He can ride the Galaxy Express as well. Because one has to show their phone to the conductor cat to take the Galaxy Express, it's probable that the cats can see or hear him and simply don't report him.
Afraid of ghosts, possibly the dark, and maybe dead bodies.
Edward Hart
Stigma
Incantation - ?
Effect - ?
Artifact
Cane - ?
Other
Edward is, or was historically, the world's strongest vampire, implying a great deal of hidden power. As he is 400+ years old, he knows a great deal about anomalies that Darkwick doesn't listen to for some reason. However being old has also made his body and mind much weaker. . .allegedly.
Ed has immense power, which we've only heard of him using on the singular mission he participated in. Using it he obliterated an anomaly and a building in such a way that Darkwick struggled to cover up(unlike Tohma's destruction which was able to be explained as poor maintenance and age) suggesting he more or less vaporized it. It's unknown if this is a vampire power or his stigma.
Ed is able to produce a purple mist that seems to be able to enthrall humans(as Rui and Lyca didn't need to hold their breaths when he used it.) The PC mentions feeling "good", comfort, and euphoria, her mind slowing down, light on her feet, and she began to think thoughts that aligned with what Ed wanted of her made and her body feel weaker. When she managed to fight against it and speak for herself Ed stopped producing the mist and she was able to recover quickly. When Ed used it on the humans in the mansion they experienced similar symptoms(feeling good and beginning to think they didn't need to call the police for help) but fell into sleep quickly unlike the PC. It is unclesr whether or not this is his stigma or simply a vampire power.
Ed mentions on the home screen that there's a miasma in the garden of Obscuary that humans are susceptible to. He also mentions a miasma in the breeze during summer. It's uncertain if he's referencing the mist he produces, although it's unlikely in the second case as he mentions no desire to go outside.
If Rui touches him, the touched part will break off(at which point it can be reattached simply by pushing it back into place,) ache intensely for a time, or he will die temporarily.
As a vampire, Ed is immune to curses and is immortal. He claims that sunlight will eventually reduce him to ash and in the pre-prologue before jumping off of the balcony he implies that whatever is waiting for him at the bottom will be the death of him as well. One can become a vampire by drinking the blood of a vampire, and this will overwrite curses such as the Kyklos' curse. It's uncertain if this would overwrite Rui's reaper curse.
As a vampire, Ed is rapidly exhausted by sunlight. Sunlight won't kill him instantly, but it will cause him to collapse. He claims sunlight will turn him to ash eventually, and he cannot be outside in the sun without a parasol. If it's cloudy enough or he's in enough shade, Ed is able to be outside during the day. He's usually tired during the daytime, but still seems to sleep during the night.
Ed is physically and mentally weaker during summer months, but stronger during autumn and winter.
Ed primarily drinks tears, although he mentions that he does drink blood in his character story and on the home screen. He finds that human food doesn't taste like much of anything.
Ed is able to transform into a bat and fly around in that form. He doesn't seem to be able to speak in this form, only screeching and squeaking. Based on the campus chibis he may have bats as 'familiars' too.
Ed mentions that Lyca's soul is misshapen, however it's unclear if he can actually see his soul or if he was merely teasing him.
Ed cannot see the tree on the hill that Towa speaks to, but seems to be aware that something is there.
Rui Mizuki
Stigma
Incantation - ?
Effect - temporary relief of pain and discomfort
Incantation has only been said in his head.
It's unclear if blowing a kiss is required to activate it or if that's just for flair, but it did produce a gold smoke that applied to the hurt area.
Artifact
Scythe - allows Rui to conceal himself in darkness.
Rui admits to using his artifact to keep an eye on others on campus.
Other
Suffers from a 'Reaper Curse' which effectively makes him a reaper.
Cannot make skin contact with most living things without them instantly dying. This includes humans, animals, plants, and even mold! Sufficiently strong living things(such as Ed, a vampire) will not die instantly when touched, but most things are too weak to survive. On contact, the touched thing's life force is absorbed into Rui's body through his mouth as a sort of green smoke that emerges from them.
Absorbed life energy goes straight to his body, extending his life filling him with so much energy that it prevents him from sleeping. He keeps himself as busy as possible as a result of having so much energy to spare.
In the case of Ed the reaction we've seen in-game when he was touched was the touched limb popping off(resulting in a spray of blood.) On the home screen he mentions Ed simply dying temporarily on contact and Ed mentions places they accidentally touched aching nonstop. It's uncertain what other creatures are strong enough not to die right away and how they would be affected by contact.
Wears gloves, a turtleneck, and avoids crowded places to avoid committing manslaughter and killing anything he touches.
Lyca Colt
Stigma
Incantation - Ramsochisa
Effect - allows him to follow any scent he's smelled before.
Artifact
Claws - ?
Other
Half werewolf. Able to show or hide his wolf tail and ears at will, but they pop up when he's sufficiently aggravated.
Transforms with exposure to the full moon. "The speed of his transformation is affected by how much he's exposed to moonlight and his mental state." Sometimes feels his skin crawling when the full moon is near?
Covering his head when he's outside under the full moon prevents or regresses his transformation. Collapses after his transformation regresses from half wolf and doesn't transform while unconscious. Nothing happens to him if he's not exposed to the full moon on a full moon night. Obscuary is always a crescent moon, allowing him to be there safely during a full moon.
Werewolves have four stages: Human, partial wolf, half wolf, and full wolf. At 'half wolf' Lyca is an anthropomorphic wolf. However, he loses control of himself after he's been transformed for a while, and may attack indiscriminately.
He doesn't remember much when he transforms. He might remember less if he fully transforms?
Yuri Isami
Stigma
Incantation - Agnihaet
Effect - "hyperstimulates his braincells"
"allows him to logically process information and solve complex equations almost instantaneously."
when enhanced seemed to make the information processing instantaneous and extremely accurate?
Artifact
Syringe - Causes injuries received by the individual injected with its contents to damage the entity that inflicted them.
Jiro Kirisaki
Stigma
Incantation - ?
Effect - ?
Artifact
Chainsaw - ?
Blunt, making it a bad match for webs(which simply got stuck in it) and things that need sharpness for effective cutting, but able to 'cut' through more solid things that don't require sharpness or precision, presumably by just crushing them with the rapidly spinning dull blades.
Other
Jiro is noted to be especially strong.
Jiro was in a coma until an undisclosed time ago, when Yuri was able to awaken him from it. When he was comatose and for how long and why hasn't been relayed yet, however he was said to be particularly violent during The Clash, meaning he was likely awakened before or during it, or fell into a coma during/shortly after it.
As a side effect of his condition and mysterious illness, Jiro has a poor memory, immunodeficiency, and his wounds reopen very easily. He needs four treatments a day, and they take around an hour to complete. Yuri is the only one who can administer them, and Jiro isn't able to do so himself. Even with his treatments he's forgetful and prone to being sick and has a bit of a fragile constitution. Abrupt changes in temperature, for example, make him choke.
Jiro doesn't react much to his wounds and being in pain, but he will eventually collapse from overexertion or illness if he misses a treatment or has taken too much damage.
496 notes · View notes
gomzdrawfr · 3 months ago
Text
"Don't cry."
Simon said this whenever he knew you were about to cry, eyes glossy and watery, lips trembling.
trigger warnings: angst, childhood abuse (referenced + mentioned), canon-typical violence (referenced)
notes: this is an x reader fic, also apologies for the grammar and errors if any
read more to continue this short drabble
“Don’t cry.”
His voice was hollow, rough, forced out before the words had a chance to settle.
Simon said this whenever he knew you were about to cry, eyes glossy and watery, lips trembling.
It wasn’t gentle, nor a plea. It wasn’t meant for comfort or to keep you from falling apart. It was rough, low, and scratched at your ears in a way that made it hard to bear.
It felt more like an order, one you weren’t sure was meant for you or for himself.
“Just… don’t.” He repeated, the words more for himself than for you. Something swirled in his eyes behind the mask, a faint glint catching the light, like shattered glass.
“Simon,” you whispered, voice cracking, but he cut you off with a sharp edge, ending the conversation before it even began.
You thought it was because of the life he led—the danger and discipline that flowed through his blood. You thought he was telling you not to cry because he needed you to be strong. After all, he was a soldier—a man who had seen more violence, death, and despair than you could ever imagine. You assumed he couldn’t stand to see weakness, the vulnerability that came with it.
But there was more.
There was always more with him.
You didn’t know what those words really meant to him, how deep they ran, how they had been carved into his very bones, how they play on repeat in his head like a broken cassette tape on those colder nights.
You didn’t know that those two words were all he had ever heard growing up, the only comfort he could muster when his mum sobbed after another bad night, when Tommy curled up in the corner of the kitchen, scared and bruised, whispering into the dark.
Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
He had felt helpless as a boy, kneeling before his family, wanting more than anything to do something—anything—but lacking the strength or power to act. He couldn’t make the pain go away. He couldn’t make the tears disappear.
Hearing those heart-wrenching sobs, those sniffles, those whimpers—it made him feel like that little boy again: lost, powerless, useless.
But the tears always came, and they never fixed anything. Crying didn’t make the bruises disappear. It didn’t quiet the screams. It didn’t make the shouting stop. All it did was twist his stomach inside out, wring his heart until he didn’t even recognize it anymore, and made his breathing all the more suffocating, like he was drowning in someone else’s grief.
It made him feel small.
Seeing those same tears in your eyes brought him back to that place. And he didn’t know how to deal with it. How to make it better.
He hated it. He hated feeling like that small boy again, hopeless, like he was failing all over.
Because Simon loves you, he truly does, more than himself, and yet he can’t bring himself to face you in these moments. 
Turning his back away from you, his head dipped lower, as if he were willing himself out of the memory that bubbled up, out of the pain that no amount of time or distance could dull.
Tears didn’t fix the past. They didn’t heal the scars that had been left on his soul.
“Simon-”
“Don’t cry… please.”
When he turned away, when he avoided your tears, when he grew distant whenever you broke down in front of him—it wasn’t because he didn’t care.
He just didn’t know how to handle it.
150 notes · View notes
bratbarzal · 4 months ago
Text
On Your Side (NH13) / Chapter Three
Tumblr media
Pairing: Nico Hischier x Fem!OC Poppy Jensen*
*I say it's an OC, it's just a name and third person POV. I use minor character descriptions because I don’t get on with writing vague reader inserts/YN for long-form, story heavy fics, but I will generally try to avoid including race and body type or really any physical descriptors. I’m always open to feedback on my writing, or how to be more inclusive.
WC: 13k
Chapter Warnings: angst obviously what would this story be without it, poppy and nico having an overdue conversation, nico moping again with his big sad brown eyes, nico being jealous again, drinking, cursing, meddling friends, being stood up, mentions of controlling parents as always, a little touching maybe a little more kissing too and even more meddling friends
Summary: Poppy Jensen’s job with the New Jersey Devils was supposed to be her first big step into adulthood - a way to prove to herself and her overbearing parents that she could make her own way in life. She was never supposed to become involved with any of the players. Becoming best friends with their captain was stupid. Getting her heart broken by him was tragic. Getting knocked up with his child was just plain messy.
Series Masterlist
Previous Part (Chapter Two)
A/N: I have nothing to say honestly just hope you enjoy I really don't know why I struggled writing most of this despite knowing what I wanted to do with it I think just figuring out how I want certain conversations to go and how to get from a to b is pure stresssss I'm not entirely in love with it but what can you do also proofread her? I hardly know her
but if you have anything to say pls send it my way lmao I'd really like to hear any thoughts or opinions 💓
Poppy
Tumblr media
Poppy was once told by her good friend, Kelsey, that she would be able to tell everything she needed to know about a guy by the way they answered one very simple question. 
If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
She thinks about it more often than she really should, if she’s honest with herself, but Kelsey’s rationale behind each potential answer is actually a stroke of rare genius - and Poppy often finds herself applying the logic to most people that she encounters.
Guys who say super speed are the ultimate red flag. No one wants a quick finisher, no matter how fast they may be in any other aspect of life. Some things specifically require time and patience. Sacrificing your partner’s satisfaction all to say you can run the world record fastest 5k is the ultimate ick.
There’s an argument to be made for the endurance choosers, it sure has its perks, but Poppy thinks it’s a boring pick. To be given the option of any superpower, and to choose perseverance, of all things? Get a life. 
Anyone who chooses x-ray vision is a certified pervert, obviously. The same could be said for those wanting to read minds, although most of the guys Poppy has seen in her life struggle to comprehend the things she says in plain words, never mind whatever nonsense is circling through her inner thoughts. 
Those who choose flying are one dimensional, rarely able to see beyond what’s right in front of them, because, if they could, they’d choose the much better option of teleportation.
Who chooses flying when you could just think about somewhere and instantaneously arrive? With your hair in tact and no risk of bumping into any territorial birds.
Teleportation is what Poppy would have picked if anyone would have asked her a week ago, for the mere fact that commuting anywhere is the bane of her entire existence, and if she thinks too hard about it or looks to much into it, it always has been. 
She associates it with sitting in the back of her dad’s Bentley as a child, a tangible, frosty silence lingering in the air between her parents after one of their many even-toned arguments disguised as discussions, the fresh pine scent making her car sick and the leather seats making the back of her thighs sticky. 
Or the fragile bones of her hand being crushed by her mother’s tight grip as they rode the Amtrak over to Manhattan, Priscilla sneering at anyone who dared step too close on the crowded carriage, Poppy being dragged throughout department stores in the name of mother-daughter bonding time, and clutching to a tiny consolation Macy’s bag housing a sparkly lip gloss like her life depended on it the whole way home. 
She thinks of all the hours of her life she’s wasted on the Palisades Parkway, no longer able to enjoy the scenic route whenever she has to drive back to her parent’s house in Alpine after having watched one too many crime shows where a broken down car leads to a girl’s face plastered all over the news.
Even driving to work can feel like hell when the traffic is bad, what should be a 30 minute drive sometimes turning into an hour, Poppy’s fingers cramping around the wheel and her feet itching to touch solid ground after too long.
Teleportation sounds perfect.
And, there’s even a romance element to it. Being whisked away to Paris in the blink of an eye, suddenly sitting outside a boulangerie, decadent, rich hot chocolate on a table in front of her and a plate full of pastries, all because she mentioned a slight craving for a pain au chocolat. 
Teleportation has always been the only correct, green-flag answer to the question. 
Until Poppy properly considered time travel, that is.
The concept of it has always been a little too much or her to handle - too many strange loopholes, too many bad examples from the sci-fi movies her brother had loved as a kid. Travelling back in time to when her parents were her age and accidentally capturing her adolescent father’s attention à la Marty McFly? Sounds like hell and horror to Poppy. 
But that was before she screwed everything up.
If she could have any superpower right now, currently weighed down with the burden of hindsight - which people have always told her is a funny thing, but she thinks is actually somewhat diabolical - she would pick time travel a thousand times over.
Because if human beings have a specific part of their brain that is dedicated to forcing them to sit and stew on their every poor decision for days on end - lets them rethink and regret everything until they’re blue in the face, and can’t think of anything other than how idiotic they have been - it should also offer the kindness of being able to go back and change what they so royally fucked up.
That’s what Poppy thinks, at least, as she throws herself down onto her bed, her back hitting the duvet in a whoosh and all she can do is stare at the ceiling and wonder how and when she became such a certified moron.
There’s a part of her that suspects it’s in her genes. Inevitable. Unavoidable. Nature and nurture, she was born and raised to be a full blown fool.
Poppy comes from a long line of privilege, and while it does take a certain element of intelligence to amass the wealth her family has, it also tends to go hand in hand with ignorance in its many forms.
Behind every fortuitous business move her father makes are a million other mistakes - failed ventures, bad investments, shoddy pieces of advice accepted from the untrustworthy snakes he surrounds himself with. Hidden beneath every rung of the social ladders her mother has managed to climb, there are the ugly faux-pas’ slipping through the cracks of a former, more unsavoury life she can never run too far from. And her brother - well, she suspects he’s just an idiot, there are no two ways about it.
She knows that she needs to stop blaming her family, though. This time, it’s all her.
She can’t blame her father for the way she overthinks, the man who makes every decision in life with the littlest regard for how anyone else feels about it. She can’t blame her mother for the way she places such little value on herself, the woman who walks into every room like she owns it and refuses to let anyone make her think otherwise.
Except maybe she can.
If she had the nerve to talk to a therapist, they might disagree - might say her overthinking comes from her dad’s lack of communication skills, a part of her brain always filling in the gaps of a half-assed, other side of any conversation with him. Or they might say her insecurities come from her mom constantly putting Poppy down while telling her to be more sure of herself - stop slouching, Poppy, no one will take you seriously with the posture of a candy cane.
She’d love to know where her need to repress her feelings so deep that she becomes an impenetrable, cold, dark fortress comes from. The need to push and shove when someone tries to get too close, because God forbid anything is ever easy when it comes to her affections.
It would have made the past 4 days since Nico had walked into her apartment and kissed the life out of her a whole lot easier. 
4 days spent reminiscing, rethinking and regretting every single thing she had said and done since their lips parted, since he had put his heart on the line and she’d whacked it away, full swing, as if too desperate for the victory of a last-bat home run.
If she could time travel, she’d do the whole thing over.
-
“Don’t go on that date, Mohn.”
She had read the words on his lips before they registered through her ears, the sound of her blood rushing throughout her body occupying every sense for a brief moment.
What the hell is going on?
Nico had kissed her. He’d grabbed her, pulled her into him, and she’s pretty sure he had made her heart stop for a good second - there’s no other justifiable reason for the way it had been reverberating against her ribcage ever since. 
And then he stood before her, a desperate, pleading projection playing in his dark irises, lips still slick from where her own had just been, cheeks flushed, shoulders rising with subtle panting breaths, waiting for a response to a question she couldn’t even remember hearing.
“W-what?” She’d stuttered, blinking hard and shaking her head as if to rattle her brain into whatever semblance of cognisance she could muster.
Nico had kissed her, and then wanted to talk? As if she had the brain power left for any kind of discussion after that?
He seemed proud of the mess he had made of her, lips lifting at one side, drawing her gaze immediately to every movement they made, so focused on the memory of how pillowy-soft they had felt against hers that she didn’t notice him stepping a little closer, raising a large hand to tuck her hair behind her ear until she flinched at the contact.
“Sunday, Poppy,” he had uttered, unfazed by her skittishness, “Your date, don’t go.”
She had blinked again, completely overwhelmed on every front. She could still taste him on her tongue, he was so close she could smell his cologne, tunnel vision only seeing him in front of her and the hand that cupped the side of her face in her peripheral, her heartbeat echoing through her skull and every nerve, every slight hair on her body, standing as if trying to close the distance between his body and hers.
It was the sensory overload that made her go against all other instincts.
“I can’t.” Her voice had sounded like it hadn’t been used in weeks, croaky and unsure, her next words stammered, “I can’t not go, I mean. I have to go.”
“You don’t have to go, Poppy,”
“No, I do.” That had sounded a little surer, the fog in her brain slowly clearing only for something more tumultuous to pass through in it’s place. “I don’t understand what’s happening.”
Nico blinked once, then again, frustration clear in the furrow of his thick brows as he seemed to stew on his next words, desperate to say the right thing. There was a prolonged, tense beat, before he had asked, “Have you ever thought we could be more?”
“More?”
“More than friends.”
If her heart hadn’t stopped when he had kissed her, it must have stopped then.
His back straight, eyes looking directly into hers, a hopeful, inquisitive gleam shining from within them - he had never seemed so sure of something for as long as she had known him.
Poppy couldn’t stop the little voice in her head questioning, where the hell has this come from?
“Have you?” She had asked with a eyre of disbelief.
 Not once in the years she had known him had he ever made it seem like they could be more. There had always been an unspeakable, undeniable barrier between them. They were friends. They’d always been friends. Just friends.
Friends who spent most of their free, personal time together, friends who bought each other sentimental gifts they’d never get for anyone else, who shared intimate details about their lives and their pasts, and kissed each others heads like a goodbye ritual. Friends who broke each other’s hearts, seemingly beyond repair, without explanation.
“I think so.”
“You think so?”
“I mean,” He had paused, breaking eye contact for a second as if wracking his brain for the right answer, sensing a teetering tension between the two of them. “Yeah. Yes. I have.”
She had narrowed her eyes at him, weighing up the possibility in her mind that she wouldn’t have liked any response he gave to her, every prospective answer causing a flood of doubt and uncertainty to crash in rushing, destructive waves through her mind. “Since when?” She’d asked, trying to level her bite.
If he’d ever thought they could be more, what the hell have they been doing all this time?
“Since I met you, I think,” he had shrugged.
Wrong answer, again.
“And you only bring it up when I have a date with someone else?”
She watched a series of antithetical emotions pass through his features, understanding, confusion, acceptance, denial, resilience, cowardice. He had seemed to find the small margins between all of them, when he had come back with, “It’s not because of your date, Poppy.”
“Then why?” She tilted her head as she continued to analyse him, again not sure what she was looking for, or what she wanted to find. That something tumultuous was already whirling within her, too late to be stopped, and Nico could seemingly see the warning signs.
“Why are you getting mad at me, right now?”
“I’m not mad,” she had denied, not even knowing if she was lying or not, “I’m confused. 2 weeks ago, we weren’t even talking, Nico-,”
“You said you forgave me for that.”
“I didn’t-.” She’d cut herself off before she could say something that would upset him, the conversation spiralling so far out of control from the momentary bliss he had provided only minutes ago - but she was too far up shit’s creek without a paddle, there was no turning back. She’d been wanting to have a proper conversation with Nico all week, what better time than the middle of the night on what was now his birthday? “That’s not exactly what I said.”
He had taken a step back, lips parting with an unreleased gasp, the once-hopeful glint in his eyes transforming into hurt. “You don’t forgive me?”
“I didn’t say that either,” she sighed, wanting answers, not to cause him anguish. “Please don’t put words in my mouth.”
“Then tell me what the hell is wrong? What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I don’t understand where this has come from, Nico! You come in here and kiss me out of nowhere and tell me not to date other people and I’m just supposed to blindly follow along when I don’t get what the hell is happening with you!”
“I think me kissing you makes it pretty obvious what I want to happen, Mohn.” He had tried to ease the tension, his voice level and steady, stepping forward with his hands raised in an attempt to calm her, but she had taken a slight step back, clearly unaffected. 
“It doesn’t.” She’d stopped looking at him at that point, keeping an eye on his feet to watch his encroaching steps. “Nothing about you is obvious. You don’t tell me anything and all I can think about is what I did wrong.”
If he couldn’t see the tears pooling at her lashes, he had to have heard the break in her voice - a sure indicator that she was close to crying - but his steps had stopped, feet seemingly stuck to their place on the hardwood flooring of Poppy’s apartment, and she could feel her heart shatter knowing he wasn’t persisting again.
“You didn’t do anything wrong.” He tries to reassure her, but it’s no use.
Maybe she would have believed him if he’d held her while he said it, transferred the meaning through touch to her skin, gripping her with every word until she truly understood the weight of them.
“It had to have been something. You don’t just stop wanting to know a person for no reason, Nico, so what was it?” She made her way to her couch, perching on the edge of the seat with her knees pressed together, and looked over to where he remained standing.
She could feel her temper flaring again. 
How could he have the nerve to do this to her - to turn her world upside down in a matter of minutes - and not have the answers she needed to accept it?
“Poppy-,”
“I need to know. I can’t drop it and forget about it, and I’m sorry that I made it seem like I could, but if you want us to move on from this, if you want to come here and kiss me like that, and tell me you don’t want me seeing other people, I need to know what happened.”
“I-,” Nico sighed heavily, shoulders drooping, any confidence and bravado he had displayed after their kiss now a distant memory. “I don’t know.”
She had an immediate, striking thought, that maybe if she asked closed questions, he could give her an answer, and so, with misplaced courage, she asked, “Was it her?”
“What?”
“Your girlfriend. Did she ask you to stop talking to me?”
It was a thought that had been plaguing her for longer than she’d like to admit - unable to shake the idea that maybe Talia had seen one of the texts she had sent, had gone through Nico’s phone and seen any of their older messages, any photos he might have kept on his phone, maybe a memory had come up from snapchat, maybe someone had mentioned Poppy and her curiosity had been piqued. 
Poppy had always thought if she was dating someone, and they had a Poppy, she might feel some type of way about it. 
But her and Nico were just friends.
Nico rounded the couch, sitting on the cushion beside Poppy, their knees knocking as he reached into her lap and took her shaking hands in his.
“Do you really think I’d stop talking to you just because someone asked me to?” Their eyes had met again, sadness brewing in the dark coffee colour surrounding his dilated pupils, and a glassy film coating her own. “Poppy, I would never.”
“I don’t know what to think, Nico, because you won’t tell me.”
“Because it doesn’t make sense! I try wrapping my head around it, try coming up with some kind of explanation, but nothing I say is going to change what I did to you, Poppy.”
Her question before had gotten her an honest response, had elicited something real and undeniable within him - he’d never stop talking to her because someone asked him to. So it was his own decision, subconscious or not. Maybe she could help dig further, she thought.
“Why did you kiss me?” She asked after a beat.
“I,” Nico pondered over it before rushing his answer, a wave of emotion flashing across his face before his eyes locked on hers, ready to let her in. “Because I wanted to.”
That was a start - a simple question, a straightforward answer. 
“Was that the first time that you wanted to?”
“No.”
Poppy could feel some semblance of confidence coming back. Closed questions, concrete answers, she could keep this up.
“When was the last time you wanted to kiss me?”
She could have asked the first - she sure as hell wanted to know it, but if he’d thought of being more the entire time they’d known each other, there was a lingering possibility there were many times - and they would be there until sunrise if they started from the beginning.
“Finnegan’s.” 
“The bar?”
“We went there when we came back after we crashed out of the playoffs, do you remember?”
She remembered.
It had only been a couple of days before Nico had left for his summer back home in Switzerland.
Their loss in Carolina had been devastating, the boys came back broken and defeated, and all just wanted to drown their sorrows before they broke for their off-season. Poppy had been out with Nia and Kelsey and a few other friends at another bar when Jack had responded to her instagram story, saying they’d be at the Irish pub that was a staple within the team, and she should come over and join them.
She had made her way over pretty late, wanting to make sure her friends were okay without her, and arrived when most of the boys were completely shit-faced, past the point of tears and moping and deep into a mass state of hysteria and loud jubilation for the successes along the way.
She had found Nico in a booth in the far corner of the bar, head slumped over the back, eyes seemingly tracing the cracks in the ceiling until she crawled into the bench behind him, leaned over with her elbows resting on either side of his head, and took up his entire view. 
“What’cha doin’?” She’d asked, lips twisting at the sight of his dizzy eyes trying to correct themselves to focus on her. 
He’d quickly given up, pressing his eyes closed to shut out the risk of nausea taking over, the outer corners crinkling, the sides of his nose scrunching and his eyelashes fanning a shadow over his cheekbones - her own eyes were level with his lips, so he couldn’t really hide the way they curved at the quick glimpse of her.
“Suffering,” he had muttered, squinting one eye open to catch a brief, upside down glance of her. Nico was never this down after a few drinks. He was giggly, he was loud, he was touchy and clumsy - he was never the hide away in the corner sad type. “Wanna join me?”
“Always.” She affirmed, making her way around to his side of the booth and sliding in beside him until her bare thigh pressed against the somewhat scratchy linen of the pants he wore. 
“I’m probably not the best company tonight,” He remained in the same position, neck craning so the base of his head could rest atop the back of the seat, and his eyes closed - giving Poppy the perfect opportunity to properly look him over.
The few moments they’d had together, alone, over the past few weeks, he’d been pent up, stressed, overworked and on the brink of eruption, so this was the first time in a long time she’d managed to catch him without the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Only, that weight wasn’t so easy to shift.
She saw it in the bags under his eyes, in the unkempt playoff beard he was yet to shave off, in the stuttered way his chest rose and fell with his attempts at deep, calming breaths. 
As she watched him, the corner of her lip tucked between her teeth in contemplation, she knew there was nothing she could say to make him feel better about this. He just had to feel it out, process it in his own way without her interference - but she wanted to be there, at least.
And as much as she wanted to tell him it wasn’t his fault, that he did the best he could, and led his team through one of their strongest seasons in recent franchise history, she wanted to provide him comfort in the quiet, too.
“I don’t mind.”
And so, with little trepidation, she placed a hand on his chest, over his heart, and rested her head next to it, glancing up to see the push of a dimple forming on his cheek as his arm stretched around her and welcomed her into his warm embrace.
“You wanted to kiss me then?”
“Yeah,” he nodded, “Didn’t seem like the right time, though,” he followed up with an answer to a question she hadn’t even asked, yet. “I was leaving too soon and I didn’t want you to think I’d just kissed you because I was drunk and upset.”
Her eyes moved to his lips, a question for herself whirling around in her head. Would she have wanted him to kiss her then? What would have happened in the aftermath? Where would they be now? Would she have thought that? Would she have spent her summer stewing over what it meant, and how his lips had felt against hers?
Before she had much time to think it over, Nico continued, being spurred on by such a distinct memory that he was rolling towards the answer she had been waiting for, and she wasn’t going to stop him to try and decipher her own feelings.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you when I went home, thinking about wanting to kiss you, or not kissing you, and what it all would mean, and I kept trying to distract myself thinking I could just figure it all out when I came back here but then I met Talia, and I felt wrong for thinking about you when I had her.”
That had made sense. Nico was always a guy that would do the right thing. If he had a girlfriend, he wouldn’t think of the prospect of something with someone else, even if that someone was Poppy, and that something was a culmination of years of pent up feelings finally coming together to form something potentially wonderful.
She didn’t quite need or want to hear the rest. Didn’t want to hear how he’d gone looking for a distraction, and found just that. 
Nico was loyal, and for him to maintain that essence of himself, he had to ignore the possibility of Poppy. Some subconscious part within him saw her as a threat to the stability he had with the perfect girl from back home, and he boxed her away to make room for what could be with Talia.
It stung, but he was right. Neither of them could change what had already happened.
“Do you think you could ever forgive me?”
She’d nodded after only a second, barely even thinking about it.
Jack’s words from New Years Eve rang through her, suck it up and move on.
Nico had his reasons, she had her answers. He wasn’t bored of her, wasn’t tired of her or annoyed by her. He’d been so caught up by his unspoken, untranslated feelings for her that he twisted himself into untangle-able knots that were only just starting to loosen up enough to be picked apart.
“Could you maybe say it?”
“Yeah, I could.” she had said through trembling lips, the hurt in his voice burrowing through her eardrums, lodging itself in her own throat, and dripping slowly but surely into the depths of her chest. “I will.” She had to be more sure, needing to erase any doubt she had planted within him. “I do.”
“You do?”
He still held her hands in his from when he had sat down, palms warm and slightly perspirant from his tight grip around her knuckles.
“I forgive you.”
His mouth twitched into a shaky smile, his eyes catching the soft light and twinkling with emotion, and she definitely wanted to kiss him, then.
She had wondered if this is what he felt when he’d kissed her before, this burning need. Her fingers twitched in his hold, her heart thudded in her chest, and her lips parted in anticipation, until she could finally slam the breaks on her torpedoing thoughts.
“It’s just a lot to process, and I don’t really know how I feel.”
She had wished she could take it back as soon as the words left her mouth, and Nico’s features had folded as he took them in. He broke eye contact almost immediately, head dropping to look down at their hands until he released hers back into her lap. 
“I get it.” He uttered, forcing a smile as he glanced back up at her, briefly. “I sprung this on you out of nowhere, I’m s-,”
“Please don’t apologise,” she interrupted before he could go there, knowing it would send her brain into overdrive if he let even the thought of regret fester between them, “I’m glad you did. I don’t want you to be sorry about it.”
Relief washed over the both of them in a warm, steady stream as he nodded, leaning into the back of the couch, legs spreading as an elongated sigh wracked through his torso. 
He ran a hand through his hair, and Poppy’s eyes flickered to the flex of his fingers, the strain of his wrist, the flash of protruding veins where his sleeve had pulled up with the stretch of his movements. 
His eyes closed, and she took him in just like she had that night in Finnegan’s bar.
She’d had an urge then, a desire even, to provide comfort - to share his burdens, make him forget the pain he had just endured, wash it all away with encouraging words, gentle touches. A shoulder to cry on, two ears to listen, and, albeit she didn’t entirely know it at the time, a whole heart that was his for the taking.
And take it, he did, held it all summer, bent it all sorts of ways out of shape up until New Years Eve, and it was still in his hands. Smushed, dented, squeezed to within an inch of his life, her heart was his.
It was up to her now to figure out what she wanted him to do with it. 
“I made a promise to my mom about the date, Nico, I have to go.”
“Yeah,” he sighed, seemingly resigned to the fact he had maybe been a little too lost in the moment to make such a crazy demand of her. 
“And I think maybe we both need a little time to properly think about what is happening here.”
“Time?” He practically shot up, alarm in his eyes.
“We’ve barely been apart all week, Nico, I think that might be why we’re both so,” she struggled for the right word - pent up, emotional, strung out, “Intense.”
She had known she was emotional, overthinking to the point of ruin, but maybe he was too. Maybe that’s what had led to the kiss, to the outburst of sentiment. They were both in the depths of a pressure cooker of emotions, and some space might do them good to gain a little clarity.
Maybe with a little more time to think on it, to consider what he was admitting to, have a little breathing room, and act more on something concrete than a fleeting in-the-moment feeling, he might change his mind. He deserved the opportunity to do so, she wouldn’t hold it against him.
“How much time do you think you would need?”
“I’m driving up to my parent’s house on Friday, so I would have been away for most of the weekend anyway, maybe we check back in on Monday and see where our heads are at?”
“4 days,” he muttered as if he’d just counted them in his head. “I can do that.”
“Yeah?” He had nodded in response, and there was something like hope that lingered between them, sharing small smiles and gazing through glassy eyes. “You’ll be so busy you won’t even get the chance to miss me.”
She believed it to be true - Nico had his family over, would be spending the latter end of the day with them, and had 2 big home games in a row to worry about. Poppy would be the last thing on his mind.
If she had blinked in the moment, she might have missed the way his observation slipped to her lips, lingered there for a brief second, and glanced back up to flicker between her eyes again. “Not possible.”
Tumblr media
“Poppy, have you suffered some kind of brain injury I don’t know about?” Nia’s voice rings through the speaker of the phone pressed to her ear, already supposedly-styled hair fanned out around her as she lays staring at the ceiling, willing herself to get up and go before she’s late.
No matter how much she doesn’t want to go on this date, her mother will kill her if she hears anything other than a glowing review. On time, preened to perfection, polite and sociable. 
“Maybe I hit my head in my sleep at some point,” she thinks out loud, glancing back to the sharp edges of her bedside table and wondering if she could have thudded into it in the night.
Surely she would have a scar or a bruise.
“You must have,” Nia agrees, “That’s the only logical explanation why you’d ever consider telling the guy you’ve been hung up on since you first met him that you need time to think about how you feel,”
“Ni,” Poppy groans, “I called you for advice, not a lecture.”
“If you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes, and you my friend, are a dumbass.”
“In my defence-,”
“Nope!” Poppy doesn’t know what Nia is doing on the other end, but she hears something clatter as if being slammed down on a table in protest, “There is no defence, you’re an idiot.”
“I didn’t know how I felt about it, Ni,” Poppy sighs, sitting up and catching sight of herself in the mirror. She doesn’t know why so much of her time tonight has been wasted trying to look so good when she doesn’t even want to. When she’d gone to visit her parents, her mother had practically given her a full blown rundown of the guy she was meeting.
Tucker Lyon, she can’t help to instinctively roll her eyes at just his name, works in investment grade finance for one of the Big 4 - she hadn’t cared enough to ask which one. His family are property people, her mom had said, and own enough Manhattan real estate to hold some serious power. Priscilla had met his mother years ago at some luncheon in the city, and apparently the two had been in cahoots since then to set their children up.
Poppy doesn’t want to be set up with some walking red flag, biting her tongue over a plate of food too small to satisfy her hunger while he mansplains stocks and shares to her.
She wants to be in whatever bar the guys are holed up in, tucked under Nico’s arm, side practically glued to his, sipping cocktails and celebrating him like he deserves to be celebrated.
But instead, she can admit, she has been a royal idiot.
“I still don’t know, it’s all come at me full force and I don’t understand my feelings.”
“Bullshit!” Nia scoffs, “You knew you were into him the second he first flashed those dimples your way.”
She isn’t entirely wrong.
Poppy had once harboured a slight crush on him. In the very early stages of their friendship. One small enough that when she realised it was completely one-sided - and she was being delusional to ever think his cute nickname for her and his insistence on spending time only with her was anything more than his attempt to make a friend - she could swallow it down until it was barely anything.
She trained her heart not to stutter when he approached her, told her brain to shut up when he flashed her one of those perfect, all consuming smiles, and could cross her arms to restrain her hands from wanting to hold his whenever they walked side by side.
She’d become so good at suppressing her feelings, she’d forgotten she had them.
She had forgotten all the times they had hung out alone over the years, never second guessing all the looks and the touches, the times he’d let her stay over if it got too late to go home alone, and the times he’d waltz into hers like he owned the place.
She’d forgotten when she had seen him with Talia, always claiming the feeling in her gut was one of loss and reminiscence, not envy and bitterness.
She’d forgotten when the Hughes brothers had helped her move a couple months ago, and Luke had questioned the amount of Nico he was helping to scatter throughout her apartment. Pictures on her bookshelf, pictures stuck to her fridge with souvenir magnets from Swiss gift shops, a couple hoodies, Devils branded shorts and big t-shirts of his he’d come across in the boxes. 
“I didn’t realise you and Cap were so close,” Luke had picked a frame out of one of the boxes, the picture of Nico and Poppy at the Halloween party inside, and waved it in her direction as she stood with her hands on her hips, figuring out if she wanted to alphabetise or colour code the books she was displaying. 
“Huh?” Poppy tilted her head towards the tall boy, watching as he shook his curls back into place and ran a hand through them. He’d worked up a bit of a sweat lugging her boxes upstairs, and now that everything was finally moved, Jack had gone to get them food, and Poppy and Luke were getting started on unpacking the easy stuff. She looked to the picture in hand, reaching over and taking it to get a closer look. “I guess we were, I don’t really know.” She wasn't a good enough actress to properly pull off the nonchalance she was aiming for.
“You don’t know?” Luke scoffed, rifling through other pictures in the box - all framed, mostly of her and Nico, some just the two of them, some of them in groups, but always side by side. Always grinning ear to ear. “You’ve got like a shrine in here, PJ,”
“It’s not a shrine,” she had argued, “You don’t keep pictures of your friends? Sounds kind of cold, if you ask me, Moosey.”
“I keep pictures on instagram and my phone like a normal person.” He chuckled.
“Generational gap, you kids are done for when the cloud goes down, you know. Physical media is forever.”
“You sound like my mom.” Luke jibed, and true to his nature, unable to stop himself before he inadvertently crossed a line, he asked with a weird wiggle of his eyebrows, “So, you wanna keep Nico forever, huh?”
“Shut up, Luke.” If Poppy had something soft enough, she would have thrown it at his head. The photo frame in hand seemed like overkill, and she didn’t want to hurt the kid, just make him stop. She didn’t much like talking about him, what they once had, what they once were. Even if he did have the wrong impression of what they were. It was upsetting, and she didn’t want to get upset - not in front of Luke. “You can keep those in the box.”
Luke had reached out for the frame in Poppy’s grasp, had watched as she hesitated giving it back, as she looked down and took in the huge smiles on her and Nico’s faces, and as she made the decision not to put this one back. Maybe she could phase it out, wait until she took a nicer, more meaningful picture with someone else before she replaced that one.
“I’ll keep this one out. I look cute.”
"Sure." His sarcasm was not entirely appreciated.
She had heard him chuckle to himself as she stood the frame on one of the shelves, placing it between a scented candle she had no intention of ever lighting and a small faux lavender plant. Not shrine-like at all.
She’d forgotten about any suppressed feelings until Nico kissed her.
Until he opened up Pandora’s box, releasing all her pent up emotions to roam freely, creating chaos and causing havoc through every corner of her entire existence. 
For the past 3 days, she’s thought about him with everything she has done. 
On Thursday afternoon, sat alone in her office, going over emails and wondering what he would be up to with his family. Was he happy, were they having fun, did he think about her for a second?
On Friday evening, driving alone on the long winding roads to her parent’s house and listening to the commentary for the game on the radio. Making it to the house in time for the 3rd period, and seeing the team celebrate. Was he well rested, excited for his family to watch him play at home, did he look up into the staff suite at the Rock and wish she was there cheering him on?
On Saturday, retreating to her childhood bedroom after another tense family dinner, snuggling up with the dogs on her bed as she watched the game. Was he beating himself up, had he gone straight home on his own after the loss, did he have the same urge to call her as much as she wanted to call him?
Did he, on any of those nights, lay awake thinking about that kiss?
About how right it had felt? How he had exerted his subtle dominance over her with such ease, large hands encompassing her face and holding her to his lips like his life depended on it?
Did he think about where it could have gone if she hadn’t shut him down? Where they could be if he’d made a move before?
She’s been thinking about it. Non-stop thinking about it.
Thinking about that kiss, and the possibility of others - the moment in the bar, all the other potential moments he had wanted to kiss her and hadn’t. The fact that maybe her feelings had never been one sided, and she’s wasted years pushing them down for nothing.
“Do you think I made a mistake not cancelling this date?” She asks her friend in a moment of vulnerability, her mind reeling with the possibility that she has already fucked up what could be.
“No.” Nia assures her, surprisingly. She’s been calling her an idiot all night, what does she mean, ‘no’? “I think he needs to sweat a little, let him think about you out tonight with another guy, and come tomorrow, his mind will be made up.”
“You don’t think we might be overestimating how much it bothers him?”
“Don’t make me call you a dumbass again, Pop.” Poppy can hear the rolling of her best friend’s eyes through the phone. “And send me a picture of your outfit before you leave.”
Tumblr media
Nico
Tumblr media
Nico has never been so physically uncomfortable in his life.
For a man who plays contact sport for a living - has played it for a good chunk of his existence, and has suffered countless knocks and injuries, slept in one too many uncomfortable positions in planes, buses, trains and even hotel beds, and who’s face has had more than enough encounters with the wrong end of a pair of skates - that is saying a lot.
But every inch of him, every fibre of his entire being, feels irritated in some way.
It’s a feeling like unforeseen static shocks passing over every surface of his skin. Like little bugs crawling all over him and he can’t swat them away. Like random strands of fine hairs that can’t be seen by the naked eye but God, can he feel them. He feels them everywhere.
From the top of his head to the tips of his toes, he feels something prickling, stinging, burning. 
Itchy.
Like a scratch he can’t reach in the very middle of his back.
And it’s not like he doesn’t know what it is.
He’s felt it ever since he left Poppy’s apartment in the early hours of Thursday morning. He had hardly slept, getting maybe 3 or 4 hours in before his alarm shrilled from where it charged on his nightstand. 
He has tried to use the same coping mechanisms that get him through his bouts of homesickness - where he closes his eyes and tries to provoke a memory for each sense.
He pictures the views from one of his many hikes, endless fields of green grass, crystal clear lakes, winding footpaths and mountains that stretch as far as the eye can see. He imagines gathering around a fondue table back in his favourite restaurant, and can smell the freshly baked bread, can taste the melt-in-the-mouth flavour once it’s been dipped in oozing, melted cheese. He can feel the softness of the freshly washed sheets back in his childhood bedroom and can hear the chorused chirps of the birds outside his window in the early mornings. 
It’s a technique that has helped ground him in the past, and he had thought that maybe if he applies the same logic, it will dull the ache in his fingertips that yearn to reach for his phone and text the girl who has asked him for space.
If he thinks hard enough, he can still taste the sweet but subtle vanilla of Poppy’s lip balm. He can smell the fresh-cotton essence of her laundry detergent, can hear the melodic sounds she had hummed into his lips, can feel the softness of her skin on the pads of his fingers, can see, clear as day, the dazed expression etched into her features like she had gotten caught up in the fantasy too.
If it wasn’t so easy for him to mentally transport himself back, he wouldn’t have been able to make it 4 days without seeing her. 
He had known it would be hard, but, thankfully, he thinks he got himself enough of a fix to make it to Monday.
He’d taken all he could with just one press of his lips to hers, had taken more of Poppy than he had ever dared to take before, and his subconscious was clinging onto it for dear life, hoping with everything in him she could decide to give him more.
4 days.
He has never known time to be so cruel. For it to drag out every minute like it was an hour.
If his life had a remote control, best believe he would be jamming the hell out of the fast forward button. 4x speed, skip to the next chapter, not wanting or needing to know what happened in the in-between.
He’s always thought himself to have patience - good things come to those who wait, after all - but this had become the ultimate test.
He had tried to immerse himself in whatever was going on each day, hoping they would pass quicker, less painfully, but it had been no use.
His birthday had passed by in a dizzying blur. He’d had a late morning skate, had come home to his family waiting for him, had gone to dinner with them, caught up over Italian food in one of his favourite spots by his apartment, and had driven his parents, his sister and her boyfriend back to their hotel with the promise of dedicating some time to them before the game on Friday.
Every single thing had reminded him of her.
Being at the Rock and wondering where in the building she might be, and if she was reminded of him with the littlest things. If she was thinking about him, what she was thinking about him. Seeing his family, imagining her place at the table as they all exchanged laughter and stories over pasta and wine. Thinking about what she might contribute to the conversation, how she would get along with his sister, how they’d gang up on him and poke fun, but she’d hold his hand under the table and squeeze to let him know it was all in good humour.
In the locker room after the win against the Blackhawks, trying his best to get involved in the celebrations but just wanting to call her, to hear that she had watched, and was proud of him and the team. And even after the loss against the Canucks, he wanted to hear the same. He wanted to go straight to her place, the passenger seat of his car painfully empty as he drove himself home in complete silence. 
And he had tried his best not to get too into his head about the whole space thing.
Poppy was right, after all. Things had gotten intense.
He had been intense - marching over to her place and kissing her out of nowhere. As right as it had felt, it was stupid. It was hotheaded and impulsive and it wasn’t considerate of her feelings.
But, God, he was so caught up on her he couldn’t help himself. He should have seen in the days they had spent together prior that they needed to speak more about everything before he threw himself at her like a neanderthal. 
He’d only considered what conclusion he had reached, and as much as his conversation with the guys on the plane gave him an idea of Poppy’s mindset, some words needed to be exchanged before he planted one straight on her. The whole thing could have gone so much better if he just knew how to communicate everything with her properly.
Even before the kiss. Before New Years, before Talia, before Summer - if he knew how to speak about his developing feelings for her, this whole mess could have been avoided.
He wouldn’t be sat alone in a bar, yet again, as his friends surround him, partaking in the celebrations that are supposed to revolve around him, wallowing in self pity.
He wouldn’t be thinking about Poppy, out in some fancy restaurant somewhere else in the city, with some stick-up-his-ass loser who doesn’t deserve a second of her time, and imagining her giving him one of those earth shattering smiles - the one where her the outside of her eyes crinkle in the corners, and every time he sees it he imagines the lines settling there as she ages, and it’s always a version of the two of them, old and grey, side by side, smiling together.
He imagines her taking him back to her apartment, curling up with him on the couch Nico helped her haul up the stairs after she had found it for crazy cheap off of some sketchy ad on Facebook marketplace. He sees her slowly replacing all those pictures she has of her and Nico with pictures of her and him, phasing him out of her space like she would eventually phase him out of his life.
He thinks about her taking him to her bedroom - the one he had yet to see in her new apartment, but imagines it’s just like her old one; way too many pillows and throws, a thick, plush duvet that looks like she’s climbing into a cloud, and a beat up stuffed toy her grandmother had given her when she was young. 
He doesn’t want to wish that Poppy is currently welcoming someone into her life that doesn’t suit her, but he can’t help himself.
He hopes this guy is late - and doesn’t even apologise for it. He hopes he orders off the menu for her, or criticises her choice of wine for not pairing with her choice of food like a complete snob. He hopes he’s awful to wait-staff. He hopes he’s type of guy who writes a suggestion on the tip line of his receipt instead of leaving a minimum of 20%. He hopes he chews with his mouth open, spits when he talks and scrapes his knife along the ceramic of his plate as he cuts his food, causing that toe curling sound that makes Poppy want to scream.
He hopes he doesn’t offer her his jacket, because she always refuses to take one out. He hopes he doesn’t think to give her a piggy back, because she always wears shoes out she knows she doesn’t want to walk in, but always wants to walk home if it’s nice out. He hopes he walks on the inside of the sidewalk, leaving her to the dangers of walking roadside, and walks too quick for her to keep up with little regard for how she likes to take her time on a night and stretch the evening out. 
He even hopes he smokes. Poppy hates smokers. And if, God forbid, they kiss, he’ll have smoker’s breath, and she won’t want to do it again. 
She won’t stand in front of him, eyes glazed over, lashes fluttering, brows furrowing, lips still pouting and fingers twitching to reach back out, yearning for more.
She won’t even kiss him back.
Not like she had kissed Nico. Not like she had clutched at his shirt like she wanted to hold him close to her forever. He wouldn’t get to hear that sweet, subdued sound she had made when his tongue had swiped tentatively at hers, or feel that slight pressure of when her lips had closed around it, sucking almost at the muscle before opening back up to allow for more of a taste.
No one else can get that.
No one else will savour it like Nico has, thinking about is for days on end, replaying the moment over and over until he has perfect recall of every small detail.
It’s probably a good thing she hasn’t shared much detail about this date, Nico thinks as he swirls the ice around his empty drink, sat right at the bar away from the sectioned-off area that Timo had rented out for the party.
If he knew more about it - about the who, about the where - he probably would be in a cab by now, knowing he was crossing a line but unable to do anything about it, his will outweighing any common courtesy just as it had a few nights ago. Or he would have spent the last few days in a google deep-dive, trying to figure out the kind of man her mother would approve of. Enough to set her up, at least - he doubts Priscilla Jensen entirely approves of anyone.
Nico finally makes eye contact with the bartender, and as she starts to make her way over, he feels like a divine intervention occurs - an arm falling onto the bar top beside his, a glimmer of metal flashing into his dark eyes - the reflection bouncing from a bracelet that is welded around the base of a slender hand.
“I’ll take another of these,” he lifts his glass when the bartender arrives, gesturing to the old fashioned he’d somehow landed on over beer tonight, “And whatever she’s having, please.”
 “Vodka diet coke, please,” a voice rings out from beside him, and once the bartender busies herself with the order, she asks, “Shouldn’t I be the one getting you a drink? I heard it’s your birthday,”
“Why should either of us pay when it’s going on a tab?” He chuckles, angling his body better to face her. 
“Ooh la-la, a tab,” Nia mocks, “Now I feel like I’m a part of an elite club!”
“I find it hard to believe you’ve never had your drinks put on someone else’s tab before.”
“Not the New Jersey Devils captain himself, it’s such an honour!” She raises a manicured hand and presses it to her chest, a playful smile etched into her features. 
“Did you come over here just to poke fun at me?” Nico asks, touching on the dynamic that has long been between the two of them. She mocks him, mostly all bark and no bite, he takes it on the chest, knowing she’s doing it from of her warped version of almost sibling-like love, and Poppy usually acts as the mostly-unnecessary mediator, dividing her attention between them both. 
“Of course I did,” she affirms, “You looked all mopey and miserable, how could I not?”
“How is me waiting for a drink ‘mopey’?”
“Uh, let me think,” she taps her finger to her chin, before lifting it to point at each feature she references, “The huge pout on your lips, your giant caterpillar eyebrows all slanted and frowny-,”
“Forget I asked,” he mutters, lifting his lips into a quick smile and thanking the girl behind the bar as she brings them their drinks. “Didn’t know you’d be out tonight,”
“I’ll be sure to send you an e-vite to my google calendar when I get home later.”
Nico’s throat tightens slightly at how similar Nia and Poppy are - always quick with a response, most of the time sarcastic, most of the time able to elicit a genuine laugh to rumble from the depths of his chest. “I see why you and Poppy are so close.”
“Hm,” she hums, making a show of checking her phone, “You barely made it two minutes, but it could be a new record.”
“A new record?”
“For how long you can go in conversation without mentioning her.”
“She’s your best friend, the one person we have in common, it’s normal for me to bring her up, Nia.” He reaches for his drink to take a gulp, hoping the ice might make his throat feel a little better.
He doesn’t even know why he’s denying his lack of willpower when it comes to Poppy - 2 minutes actually seems like quite the achievement when he thinks about how long he’s restrained himself from reaching out over the past 4 days. Nia approaching him like this has been the perfect excuse to think about her - to talk about her without feeling like he’s overstepping or assuming.
He could use this to his advantage.
“Is she a good kisser?”
Or not.
He chokes on his drink, thankful the liquid isn’t coming out of his nose with how much he hadn’t been expecting that question.
“She looks like she would be. I’ve always thought about it but there’s never been a right time to try it out. Maybe I should take a leaf outta your book and lay it on thick and fast when she least expects it.”
How he even thought he could gain advantage in this conversation is beyond belief. He’s out of his depth with Nia, as usual. She isn’t afraid to call him out - she never has been - and she’s the one person in the world Poppy would confide in. Of course she knows about the kiss.
“Is that what she said, I laid it on thick and fast,”
“Wouldn’t you like to know, lover boy.” She chuckles, picking up her cocktail and stepping away from him, “Thanks for the drink, Nico, try to enjoy the rest of your birthday party.”
“Wait!” He reaches out to stop her, not wanting to let a golden opportunity slip from his hands so easily. “You would have bought me a drink before, for my birthday?”
“I think you earn about 5 times my annual salary in a month, so probably not.”
“How about you answer a question for me?” He proposes, “As a gift.”
“I could,” she sighs, sitting down in the stool beside him, “But I heard you get touchy after gifts.”
He immediately regrets asking, but not enough to let her go. He’s come this far, and he has 4 days worth of questions he desperately needs answers to.
“Funny,” he gives a condescending smile, which clearly pleases her as she gives a genuine one back, lifting her spare hand to gesture for him to carry on. As if it’s that easy to narrow down all the things he wants to ask her.
One question. 
What did she say about the kiss? Did she like it? Would she do it again?
What did she say about him? About how she feels? About what she wants?
Where is she right now? What did she tell Nia about the date? About the who?
“The guy she’s out with,” he can’t even bring himself to say the D word, “Is he nice?”
The look she gives him is almost pitiful. In fact, there is no almost about it. She clearly thinks he’s pathetic, but it’s too late to retract the question now that it’s out there.
“I don’t think so.”
He doesn’t like the way his stomach turns at her answer.
He had wanted this, right? For him to be a gratuity-withholding, uncouth slob with bad breath. 
But the thought of her being out with someone that has the potential to hurt her, hurts him. His chest feels tight, his head feels muddled, and that everlasting itch returns to the tips of his fingers - the weight of his cellphone becoming that much heavier in his back pocket.
“I mean,” she carries on with a shrug and reaches for her own phone, “He was a no-show, so we’ll never actually know for sure.” She swipes at her phone until she brings up her message thread with Poppy, turning up the brightness to show Nico the picture she had asked her to send earlier. 
It’s a selfie taken in the overly tall mirror she had once made him pick up from Ikea, claiming it wouldn’t fit in her car and his was much bigger, and he doesn’t know why his first instinct is to scan the background just to confirm his earlier intuitions about her bedroom. Too many pillows, cloud-like duvet. He can’t see the stuffed toy, but he assumes it’s somewhere in there.
Poppy looks unbelievable. 
Her dress is short, like the one she had worn on New Years, fits snug around her waist and emphasises her curves in all the best ways. Her legs seem to go on for miles, adorned in knee high boots no doubt to provide some semblance of warmth. Her hair is pulled back, and she wears gold jewellery - rings, some small hoop earrings, and he’s only just able to stop his fingers reaching out to pinch at the screen because he can see the gemstone bracelet without the need to zoom in.
“Can’t be that nice if you’re standing up a girl that gorgeous, huh?” Nia asks, suggestively, leaning her chin into the palm of her spare hand as she looks up at Nico. “Some guys just don’t know how good they’ve got it.”
He figures he actually should be embarrassed about the relief that floods through him - washes over his entire demeanour, expression changing from defeated to victorious in a matter of mere seconds.
The crease that seems to have permanently formed between his brows smooths out, posture corrects itself, and his lips even almost turn up into a smile.
There’s a childish, territorial voice within him that wants to exclaim, Thank God! But he’s grateful that he’s able to mute it.
And, despite being privy to Nia’s games - despite knowing exactly what trap he is being lured into, what he’s about to fall for - he can’t help but suggest, “You should tell her to come out.” Because, despite knowing he had taken the bait, he can’t find it within himself to care. “I think I asked her one too many times to ask again.”
The one thing he had twisted himself into knots over since first hearing her utter the word date, hadn’t actually come to fruition.
There is no date. There is no uncouth slob.
There is Poppy, dressed as pretty as she is, practically waiting for someone to show her a good time. 
He can do that. He wants to do it - to be the someone that’s good to her.
“Oh, should I?” Nia asks, a knowing smirk causing her lips to twitch mischievously. She’s been playing him this whole time, and once again, he doesn’t care. “I don’t know, she seems resigned to spending the evening on her couch watching New Girl,” she sighs dramatically, clearly looking for incentive - once again, reminding him too much of the girl he longs for. “I don’t know if there’s much convincing to be done.”
“I’ll add you to the tab for the night.”
Rookie mistake, offering something up so quick.
“Is that all my efforts are worth to you, Nico, a few measly drinks?”
“What do you want?”
“I’m actually out with a client tonight,” she looks back somewhere toward the other side of the bar, Nico can’t even bring himself to follow her gaze. “Been trying to sign them to my agency for a while, and if I can fix this deal, I’m up for a promotion.”
“Nia,” he warns, not liking how long this story is becoming. Forget good things come to those who wait. He’s waited long enough. “What do you want?”
“They’re big Devils fans, I think a night with the team could really open them up to the benefits of working with me.”
“Bring them into our section.”
“And maybe some tickets, too.”
“Fine.”
Nia gives him a triumphant smile, “Great, I’ll let them know.” She salutes him as she stands back up, gathering her drink and phone between the fingers of one hand before backing away. “Nice doing business with you, Captain.”
“Aren’t you gonna text her?”
“Oh, Nico,” she jeers, using her free hand to grasp him by the chin. “Dear, sweet, naive Nico,” she gives his head a subtle shake before patting at his shoulder condescendingly, “She’s already on her way.”
Tumblr media
If anyone asks, Nico isn’t admitting to keeping an eye on the door since Nia had made her way back over to her side of the bar, but he knows as soon as Poppy has arrived. He watches her make her way over to her friend, watches the two of them embrace and talk between themselves for a good minute. He watches and waits until her eyes meet his from across the crowded room, and it’s like everything else stops.
He’d somehow managed to immerse himself in the party spirit since he had found out she was coming, fitting back into the group, toasting along with them, engaging in conversations with his teammates, his mood vastly improved in comparison to earlier in the night - of which he’s sure Timo is relieved after his short-lived exile from Nico’s good graces — but everything fades to black when he sees her lips curve upwards from afar.
Someone is talking beside him - hopefully not to him, he thinks, he doesn’t remember being mid-discussion with anyone - but it’s just drowned out mumbling right now, and all he can do is tilt his head toward the doors that lead to the bathrooms, and wait for her to respond. When she nods and separates herself from Nia, he excuses himself from the group, edging out of their section and following her path, losing her a little in the thick crowd of people - the bar still packed from where they had played the Giants game earlier.
When he gets through the doors, he’s thankful no one else is lingering back there - no rowdy queue for the bathroom, no staff, no one but him and the girl who seems to be holding his heart like a hot potato, not knowing the best way to carry it without getting burned.
“Hi.” It’s a weak starter for a heavy conversation, but if he’s honest with himself, she’s taken his breath away.
The picture from before hadn’t done her justice. She’s a little worn into her look for the evening now, hair not so neat, skin a little shiny, lipstick faded - but this is exactly how he likes her, especially when he takes in the way her eyes gleam and her cheeks puff out with her smile.
He makes a conscious effort not to let his eyes drift directly to the smile - to her lips, which even the thought of them elicits such a vivid memory.
“Surprise!” she sings quietly, arms outstretched and hands shaking theatrically.
He steps toward her with his hands behind his back, fingers clasped together until he’s confident that his knuckles turn white, fighting the urge to curl his arm around her waist and pull her into him, needing to be closer. He watches intently as her eyes flick down to where his hands should be.
She backs into the wall behind her, not to escape his approach, but more to prepare herself for it - like she’s settling in and embracing it.
She isn’t running. She isn’t pushing.
She’s waiting.
“I’ve missed you.” Nico wastes no time in telling her the truth - telling her what she’s refused to believe every other time he’s said it, but he can tell with the tilting of her head and the rounding of her eyes that understanding has settled within her. She has no comeback, no it’s only been a few days, and he thinks she must have felt the drag of them in the same way.
“I’ve missed you, too.” 
Whatever anxiety has rooted itself deep inside him for the past 4 days dissipates almost immediately. 
“I haven’t stopped thinking about you.” He admits, without shame or reluctance. After Poppy had helped him overcome whatever had been censoring him before, there is no point now in holding back or beating around the bush. “You look so good, Mohn.”
A rush of confidence allows for him to close the gap, standing right before her as she leans against the wall, neck craning ever so slightly to look up at him. He still won’t touch, hands laying against the stone at either side of her hips, not daring yet to let even a sliver of his finger graze at her flesh.
“You look good, too.” She breathes, eyes glancing down to do an appreciative once over of his outfit, and he doesn’t miss the glint of pride cross through her eyes when she catches the glimpse of the gold that peaks out from the neck of his sweatshirt. 
“I’m sorry about your date.”
“Are you?” Her lips twist into a knowing smile. It’s an example of one of her many traits that he loves - she can detect his bullshit a mile off.
“Mmhm,” he nods, “I’m sorry a world exists where any man is stupid enough to stand you up, Poppy.”
“I’m the stupid one,” she argues, and he misses her gaze as soon as she takes it away, eyes darting to the floor in embarrassment. “I should have listened to you and cancelled in the first place.”
“I was stupid to ask that.”
“Maybe we’re both stupid.”
“Definitely.” He probably shouldn’t be agreeing to her calling herself stupid, but it comes out before he can think too much on it. They’ve both wasted too much time. 
“Did you have a good birthday?” She asks, and a slight movement between them catches his eye, her fingers twisting together as if she’s withholding her touch, too.
“It’s better now.” He smiles fondly as she rolls her eyes. 
“How are your family?”
“They’re good.” He doesn’t want to go into too much detail about how shamefully miserable he has been over the past few days - doesn’t want to tell her how his mom had called him out on his lack of contribution to conversations, and he’d managed to pin it on the stress of the season. She still raises a brow at his insufficient answer, and he expands before she can tell him off. “Everyone but Luca made it out, my sister had to go back already for work, but my parents booked a trip to Halifax to visit the Phillips’, I lived with them when I played up there, they have a few friends to visit in Canada but they’ll drop back to see me again before they fly home.”
He feels the tickle of soft fingertips at the inside of his arm, slowly grazing down as he speaks, and as he watches Poppy, he thinks she must not realise she’s doing it - letting intuition take over as she’s distracted by the conversation. He lets her take the lead on initiating any touching, and it takes all the restraint he has left not to barge through the door she’s attempting to slowly eke open. She’s the only person in the world who could make him audibly hear the metaphorical creaking.
“Did they get to watch you win?”
He doesn’t even know why he finds himself grinning at the question, but the tone in which she asks it bears a hint of pride. She had watched the game on Friday.
“My dad was pretty much in the stands in full gear, everything but the pads and skates, and my mom was repping Foundation merch, she’s run off across the border with my beanie.” He likes the way her face lights up.
“I’ll get you another.” She raises her other hand to card her fingers through his hair, and, for once, he’s thankful not to be wearing any sort of hat. The soft scratch of her nails is soothing, and he just about manages to stop himself leaning into her touch and purring like a cat.
That would be embarrassing.
He feels outnumbered, both of her hands on him, and it feels unfair not to be touching her - so when his thumb extends itself on the wall just beside her hip and strokes at the soft fabric of her dress until it’s softly digging in, he watches intently for any hesitation before he lays a palm flat against her side.
It feels like things are progressing both torturously slow and overwhelmingly fast at the same time. His heart feels like it’s slamming into either side of his ribcage, and like nothing else occupies his chest, the sound of it echoing as if banging on the walls of a deep, empty cavern.
“Did I already tell you how much I missed you?” He honestly can’t remember, but he’ll tell her again if he needs to.
The hand that had run through his hair rests now on the side of his head, her thumb swiping softly at his cheek as she cups the side of his face, and before he can even make sense of what is happening, he’s being pulled forward. 
He bends to her advances with quick reflexes to avoid clashing, and their noses bump just before their lips meet.
Her chest rolls forward until it presses into his, and both his hands grab at her sides to pull her flush against him, legs tangling, hips pushing together, bodies touching everywhere possible all the way up to their mouths. 
He gives her all the control otherwise, allows her to determine the pace, responding to her every move and every touch with fervour and heat. She pulls at him, one hand grasping at his sweatshirt and the other cradling the side of his neck, and he quickly lifts one to stifle the blow to her head as she collides back with the wall, barely noticing the pain where his knuckles meet the stone.
Their tongues press together at the same time, and Nico doesn’t even realise his lack of patience got the better of him until their battle for dominance kicks off between their lips.
He can taste the same vanilla lip balm, can smell her signature coconut scent, can hear soft, subtle moans, can only see the back of his eyelids, not daring to open them, just wanting to feel. And he can feel everything. 
He feels the softness of her hair beneath the hand that is protecting her head from the discomfort of resting against the hard surface behind her, can feel the skirt of her dress bunching up in his grip, can feel her touch, fingertips dancing at the the base of his skull, thumb pressing into his jaw, her other hand making that same grabby gesture at the thick fabric covering his torso, squished between his heart and her chest, and he thinks he can feel the thump of her own heart on the other side.
He can feel her thigh pressed between his, the friction causing a heat to build deep in the pit of his stomach, swirling and whirling down, down, down until it culminates into the hard press of his hips into hers, and a rushed gasp combined with a guttural groan causes their lips to part.
They take deep breaths in unison, their chests bumping with every inhale, and he tries otherwise not to move.
He opens his eyes to find hers still closed, scrunched shut, even, and he tries not to be selfish - ignores the need to get a good look at her, to have this version of her ingrained to his memory too - and attempts to coax her back to him.
“Poppy,” he sounds just about as breathless as he feels. “Are you good?”
She hums in response, a subtle nod given, but he needs to hear her say it, and he tells her as much with a quick squeeze to her hip. Her eyes flutter open, gleaming and bright, framed by thick lashes and crinkling slightly at the outer corners as her lips turn up into a mischievous grin. “Better now.”
His chest feels like it’s about to burst open, like there’s a bear within him that is going to break out and pull her into its clutches, dragging her back safe to her home in his heart.
“Do you want to get out of here?” He asks, because he has to - he doesn’t care if it’s rude to leave his own birthday party, doesn’t care that he’s been the most ungrateful person in the world all night.
He’ll make it up to Timo, get him something big the next birthday of his that rolls around. Throw him a party. Or he’ll take care of the tab the next time they’re out. Maybe even let him have the window seat the next time they’re on the same plane home. 
Except, he won’t be doing any of that. He’ll be taking the reins on booking flights and putting Timo straight into economy, smack-bang in the middle of a row surrounded by a family of 5, screaming kids, arguing parents, the back of his seat being kicked the whole 8 hours to Zurich.
Because, just as Poppy’s swollen lips part to accept his advances - as her chin lifts, about to drop with a big affirmative nod, and he’s about to get everything he’s wanted the past 4 days and beyond - the doors to the back swing open, and his 6 foot teammate stumbles through, arms outstretched as he notices the two of them practically intertwined.
“Here you are!” He exclaims, voice booming in comparison to the soft breathy tones he and Poppy had been previously speaking in. “Poppy, you made it!”
“Hi Timo,” Nico feels her retreat, feels her legs brush past his and back to her own space, her hand on his chest now the only part of her that touches him, and he follows her lead, taking his hands back and trying not to clench his jaw or his fists as she converses with the man who was once his friend. “How are you doing?”
“I’m alright, should be back on the ice in a couple weeks.” Timo had suffered an injury in one of their games at the back end of December, and hasn’t been fit to travel, and Nico finds an unspeakably bitter part of himself wishing it was something to do with Timo’s legs that were injured so he couldn’t have interrupted their moment. “Glad you’re here, this one has been miserable all night.”
He can’t be this oblivious, Nico thinks. Why is he still here? Why isn’t he retreating back to the bar and leaving the two of them to whatever he had clearly barged in on.
And when Nico looks back to his teammate, his long time friend, he sees the oh-so-evident glint of mischief and disobedience in his grey-blue eyes.
He is getting his own back.
Nico knows he was petulant to blame Timo for Poppy not being invited, knows there was nothing he could have done to change her going out on a date, or them not speaking for months while he was with Talia.
He doesn’t need him to enact his revenge to see he was wrong to ignore his texts, or to mope around at the party he had put so much effort into. 
He tries to give him a pleading look to stop whatever he is trying to do, but it’s no use.
“The guys will want to see you, Poppy, Jack’s beating himself up about his shoulder, could use a friendly face.”
“Oh,” Poppy casts a glance back to Nico, and he gives her a nod, implying that she go see to her friend. “I’ll go find him.” 
He can wait. He’s waited 4 days. He’s waited years, in fact.
And, after that kiss, he knows he won’t have to wait much longer. 
“You’re a real dick, you know that?” Nico mutters in their shared native language once he’s watched Poppy disappear through the doors to the bar, with a quick glance back and an apologetic smile before they closed. 
“Just saving my brooding captain from being arrested for public indecency,” Timo shrugs with a shit-eating grin as he passes Nico and heads toward the bathrooms further down the hall. “You’re welcome!” He calls back in English, raising his hands and giving a patronising thumbs up.
Nico runs a hand through his hair, pushing it out of his face and wishing it was Poppy’s in its place.
It’s just an hour, maybe two, in the presence of his friends. Drinks, music, everyone in a good mood for the most part. It’s hardly like he’s walking out into a press conference after a 5 game losing streak and about to have all the blame placed upon his shoulders. 
It’s a party. 
Poppy’s here.
He can do this.
He can wait.
Next Chapter
taglist: @alwaysclassyeagle @bunbunbl0gs @idgaf-if-youre-here @youflowerr-youfeast @thearchersstuff @bellsdi0r @wonderheartz @jjgsunflower @butterflies35 @kenziepickle @josierosie @laheyxlover @mrsmattytkachuk (sorry if your tag hasn't worked btw or if I forgot you I'm a muppet tbh)
75 notes · View notes
karleksmumskladdkaka · 4 months ago
Text
DIABOLIK LOVERS Night Pool Ruki Mukami Acrylic Photo Card
Tumblr media
45 notes · View notes
reblog-house · 10 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
hello gemcyt fellas how we doing. just.... slipping my scar design right here......
93 notes · View notes
marclef · 1 year ago
Text
THE EYHM COLLECTION GROWS!!!! managed to make some space without having to move too much so they can all be together!!
(i made the smaller ones into stickers bc i'm running out of picture frames!! hope that's ok!)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE WHO'S GIFTED THESE TO ME THOUGH!!! I'M CALLING ALL OF YOU OUT HERE BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!! ❤❤❤❤❤
*sharp inhale* @eskariolis-con-salsa @oddpizza @woobab @the-little-knight @moon9931 @misdreavusplush @noodletime @witch-tower-au !!!!!!!
hope you all have a good holiday season!! love you all! *MWAH*
60 notes · View notes
chaosspear · 1 year ago
Text
Heeeey I finally opened up commissions!
I'm trying to start raising money with my art this year, so I can start moving away from my very physically intensive job that has been causing me a lot of pain due to my disability, so every dollar counts! If you would like to help a physically disabled person this disability pride month, maybe buy me a coffee, or buy a small commission so I can draw you a little guy too :]
129 notes · View notes
purple-st4rz-556 · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Human designs of the TADC characters that I forgot to post
I'm making them into pfps and finish Caine and Bubble later but I have no art motivation rn
Jax and Kinger have their regular outfits and Pomni is in a suit because I didn't know what outfits to give them 😭 also people draw human Pomni in a suit and she always looks silly/pos
Zooble has a prosthetic arm and leg which I attempted to draw but I suck at drawing mechanic stuff 💀 they still look cool tho
Jax looks like he works at a farm and idk what to do with Ragatha yet but I'll figure it out 🧍
Gangle and Zooble are my favorites tbh
60 notes · View notes
kyouka-supremacy · 2 years ago
Note
Thoughts on akutagawa being drawn with no highlights in his eyes, hair, coat, or on rashomon,,,like everything is drawn pure black? I like when he's drawn a little bit like not-human--contrasts real well with Atsushi's dilemma of being a tiger, personally thinking. Also like when he's drawn like a void. Little bit like the cryptid creachur he is. I think you wrote something about it in the tags on panels in his introduction in the Manga. I like to think other characters also see him the way we see him so his void ass scares the fuck out of others too. Man's skeevin and tweakin even in his design
I'm OBSESSED with Akutagawa's design. Look at him. This is what he looks like on a white background:
Tumblr media
And this is what he looks like on a black background:
Tumblr media
It's BRILLIANT. He literally disappears in the black. He's the ultimate monster. In his appearance, he embodies what above all is most scary for the human psyche: the darkness, the unknown. The way Harukawa took advantage of the the art rule of never using pure black by breaking it in the most clever way! No light gets reflected on him, because his form absorbs everything– is absolute darkness. Visually, his figure itself is Rashomon eating everything it encounters, and it's genius.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
He is so nightmare coded. I love his big, inscrutable eyes that look like two voids, two black holes. I love how oftentimes you can't tell where Rashomon ends and where he starts, I love how sick and unhealthy he looks. I love how he looks scruffy like an abandoned dog. I love how young he looks– way younger than he is. It gives the impression of a ghost, someone who was killed before growing up and is now stuck with his young appearance no matter how many centuries pass.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I adore everything about these chapter 33 pages. The way he initially appears as just a single black shape, hardly resembling a human. His crunched, unnatural stance. The staggering. The way you can feel with your senses the thick and sticky blood. The top picture is the left page of the manga, so just imagine the visual impact of turning the page to be hit with an almost full-black page- it's meant to impress, it's meant to shake. The way he's one with the darkness: no textures on him, only white making out his outlines. The way you can't tell where his coat ends. His left arm hanging numb, limp, lifeless, inhuman. The spurts of blood on his face. His smile, how you won't notice it at first and how that makes it all the more disquieting; its juxtaposition with the violence that surrounds him and that he is the cause of. The way he covers his face, the impressions of hiding and looming. His face being split, which only adds to the horror elements. Akutagawa's character design as a whole is an ode to the gothic and grotesque.
Tumblr media
And then this. Hello??????????????? The progression from how Akutagawa used to be to the last time we saw him alive is astonishing. It's upsetting. It really makes me wanna cry from a technical execution standpoint alone (imagine from a plot related standpoint). All the black is now replaced with predominant white, everywhere. His shirt is white and candid and pure, emphasizing contrast with the splash of blood in a way that almost results sickening. The blood on him is his this time. His face looks rounder, and healthier, and he overall looks more mature. His smile is sincere and genuine, it's light, it's affectionate. This scene is the culmination of Akutagawa's character both visually and thematically: the monster, Akutagawa, too, can be good, and arguably had good within him since the very start. Does it really matter if he lives after this? His character already developed to be the best version of himself‚ and this panel here is the proof.
Further readings: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6)
177 notes · View notes
thewhizzyhead · 2 months ago
Text
hi its me so back when wattblr was at its peak (2020), watt basically gave me a drug that made me really fuckin creative and want to do a bajillion musicals. 4 years later, warriors has now force-fed me this drug again. Welcome back to me being annoying as fuck woo here's the Izzy Original Rambly Musical Masterlist - Part 1
+ Misfits - been developing this SINCE I WAS 13 and um its Basically A Show Within A Show idea inspired by my past experiences with my former church and their Christmas musicals. TO UNDERSTAND THIS HERE IS SOME BACKSTORY: so when I was 10-13 I used to be in Christmas musicals staged by my sunday school. These musicals were Pilipino translations (the songs stayed English) of Typical American Children Christmas Musicals found on youtube (check out A Rocking Royal Christmas on YouTube yes we did a Filipino translation of that and I played the narrator when I was 11 I'm not kidding). When I was 13, I wanted to make something more resonant to the teen crowd as um to be quite honest the stuff my fellow Sunday school people were going through were Fucking Heavy and i wanted to feature that + I always knew that the Very Kiddy Musicals we set up were mainly a show for the parents and all that. I wanted a message of faith that actually resonated with my age group - and i developed it far enough that at 14, i was commisioned by my sunday school teachers to work with the church's orchestra in actually having this developed! But 15 happened and I started questioning a lot of the stuff my Sunday school and church does in terms of like politics, mental health stuff, sexuality and identity and pressuring me and my fellow teens to become something we were not, and it really felt alienating, almost as if I was simply putting on a show to appease all those that look to me and want me to be the Best of Young Christian Soldiers
So the concept of Misfits is um okay just read this ramble i wrote 3 years ago that is MUCH MORE COHERENT AND COHESIVE than the descriptions ive been whipping up for three hours now:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
There is more to this like I have been developing this for 7 years now and there IS A TRACKLIST and each character has a storyline and a certain dynamic with all of the characters - like all are connected one way or another - but the basic gist is:
1.) The Narrators Put On A Show For The Religious Audience, then Start Crumbling at The Questions Presented and Prompted by The Misfits, but also Upon The Realization Of How Much Pressure They Are Under in Supporting A Narrative They Are Conditioned To Unquestionably Trust + the reveal of the secrets they hide and deny about themselves in order to seem as the Perfect Model Christian (sexuality, mental health issues, parental/pastoral pressures, abuse, psychological trauma as a result of Putting On The Show - the Time Travel element is not just there for the purposes of the show, it has a very important plot element too that connects the leader of the Narrators with the defacto leader of the Misfits) + how do they deal with these secrets being slowly revealed when They Know They Are Being Watched
2.) The Misfits Try To Navigate The Strange Musical Scenario and Why The Narrators Seem Preachy, While Also Being Forced to Address Their Pasts and Presents on why They Are Deemed "Misfits" in the First Place (outside of Christian conservatism, there exists undeniable concern for the wellbeing of the "Misfits" aka juvenile delinquency and poverty, mental health issues, and um the defacto leader being a Former Member of the Narrators wHICH WILL BECOME THE RUNNING THREAD TO THE PLOT TWIST which is why they were chosen in the first place), so basically The Misfits Are Challenged to Acknowledged that They Are Indeed Troubled (especially with carefully planted plot points and script prompts used by the Narrators to have these in the open) - but the original Producers Approved plotline has them Turn Back To God, but how can they do so if the problems they face are rooted in the current religious institutions in place? That is the question presented by the Misfits to the Narrators - which is what causes their show to fall apart
3.) Through Questioning The Mission They Were Given and the Environments That Mandate Them To Do So Despite Their Own Struggles (Narrators), and Through Questioning Themselves, Their Struggle, and The Acknowledgment That They Do Need Help (Misfits), the two groups face what I want to be the ultimate thesis question of the musical: when you grow up, where does one find hope? This is my attempt at breaking down the concept of religion because ultimately, people look to a higher figure in the dream of hope and the want for answers - thus, religion cannot ultimately be taken away from people who truly want and seek it. But we gotta deconstruct the narrative that hope is only limited to these religious institutions - and criticism must be relayed to the institutions that mandate that people serve them for the hope they supposedly provide but subsequently break because of prejudice, conservatism, and close-mindedness towards the people the Bible says to serve above all.
So yea the thesis slogan is basically: grow as you go, redefine your mission, and break the script if needed be.
Also it's pop rock, very inspired by SPRING AWAKENING, we are the tigers, and a dash or rent. The songs are English when They Are Part of the Producer's script, and Tagalog when They Are Not Part of the Script (like the characters being honest or unexpected rebuttals to the narrators' preaching moments or when the narrators themselves reveal their secrets). Otherwise, dialogue is taglish YAY
#warning: THIS IS VERY FUCKING LONG#that i had to make the text tiny#it was supposed to be longer likE I HAD THE CHARACTERS' BIOGRAPHIES ALL TYPED OUT#bUT FUCK IT DIDNT SAVE FUUUUCK#anyways thats okay#that'll be for fucking next time i suppose even if i just SPENT AN HOUR WRITING THEM KFJSNVJSJ AAAAA#but anyways here we go yhis is Izzy Project 1#even tho i am more keen on producing Patron rn#i still wanna complete this because like fuck ive been sitting on this one for 7 years now#like for my thirteen year old self's sake i really wanna accomplish this#also this is like i dunno#the 7th complere redraft of misfits like there have been sSO many changes as i grow#i'll probably have to like put a stop to the narrative changes soon because like#i wanna keep the youthfulness of it all#like Patron is very much mature and like political and shiy#i wanna keep how like genuinely confused the spirit is here with Misfits cause that is entirely the point here#its a story of kids figuring shit out#and they dont get it all figured out and thats okay!#all they know is that they wanna break out of the script imposed on them#and find their way from there#ANYWAYS THATS PROJECT 1#next is Patron which will um#take a while#personal shit#izzy's projects#AYAN PARA HINDI MAWALA#also there are so many additional themes that i wANTED TO ADD THROUGH THE TYPED OUT BIOGRAPHIES PERO WALA THEY WERENT SAVED#like the theme of forgiving oneself before anything else and finding hope within and beyond religious faith#Crumbling beneath the pressures of following a predetermined script that does not befit you at all#i HAD SO MUCH TO SAY IF ONLY THE FUCKING BIOGRAPHIES I TYPED OUT WERE FUCKING SAVED
9 notes · View notes
congregation-of-the-spiral · 9 months ago
Text
thinking about writing a jmart fic inspired by my original story. would y'all read it or nah
23 notes · View notes
buryam-soul · 8 months ago
Text
I hope picking the Male Rover from Wuthering Waves is the reason I sort out my gender situation bcs that would be a pretty funny way for that to happen
14 notes · View notes
knight-engale · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
"Good morning, my love. How'd you sleep? Oh, me? I slept wonderfully. I had you with me, after all."
Sometimes we have to give up practicality (blackout curtains) for aesthetic (interesting lighting)
33 notes · View notes