#i'll add more tags later i'm tired and i got work to do

[ravioliet]

alicorn Olympia for funsies :3 i miiiight draw Otis later but i genuinely don't think i have the time or the energy rn sooo. maybe not. but just so you know he has a similar pattern on his primary wing feathers but the colors are reversed from Olympia's so they're orange on top and blue underneath because they're matching ^u^ also keeping my thing going with alicorn traits matching the pony's cutie mark because it's fun! i have more notes on that as well that i might put in a reblog or something if i want to idk. i love headcanons that affect absolutely nothing btw

[illumalux]

Alright. I've got words I need to eject into the universe so here goes. For those few people who've followed me for ever and ever, you may have seen a few infrequent posts about my long-time dnd group and how magical they are, and that is in fact true. But I have absolutely been holding out on y'all with how cool this story is. Yay captive audiences and cool lore!

Because I know I'm going to lose the plot so fast it's not even funny, I'm going to go ahead and tag the tumblrs of everyone on the group so that they can see this, and maybe possibly add on later. please. pretty please.

We have the immeasurable @honorsongs, who keeps the lore straight(ish) and me sane(ish)

The incomparable @onyxmirage who adds glorious chaos to everything without fail

The illustrious @koithemushroomwhale who always has the most out of pocket shit to "yes, and"

and the impeccable Lex (who has not given me her tumblr) who makes the best campaign memes a bitch could ask for

Now, this game has been going steady for a little over two years now, and when you have a bunch of storytelling nerds stuck together for that long, eventually one of you wizens up and remembers that hey, maybe we should start writing this down. (Thanks Honor)

I took a long hard think on what's the best way to introduce the world to this, and while a synopsis of the first story will inevitably come, this is my blog and I'll start wherever I damn well please. And in that case, I think we're going to start at the beginning of this world. And I do mean the very beginning.

In the beginning, there was the Universe.

(There was also Nothing, but we'll get back to that later.)

Where did the Universe come from? All of the children ask, and to that I say, simple. Depending on which makes more sense to you, either the Nothing got very bored of being the only thing (or not) in existence and created the Universe, or perhaps the Universe has always existed alongside Nothing. Remember, Time doesn't exist yet.

Now one day the Universe got very tired of being everywhere, everything, all at once, and decided that the easiest solution to this problem is to simply split itself into pieces. It named these pieces by the jobs they would do in the world, and thus these concepts were born.

First was Creation. That one's self explanatory, yeah? To create anything else, Creation also has to exist. Now Creation, for the purpose of this story, is also Destruction. You cannot have one without the other, and it would be a whole lot of work for the Universe to separate them, Besides, that loses the fancy number the Universe had picked out!

Next came Time, who was really kind of needed at this point. It's very hard to keep track of things when Time isn't here. Time also invented the concept of space, which made things even easier to track. Now creation had a place to put everything it made.

After time came Nature. In the space that Creation filled, things began to bloom. Green things, yes, but also reds and violets and golds, all sorts of lovely useful growy things.

Nature then worked with Life, the fourth sibling to fill the world with things to dance among the nature, to bring Creation's carvings into being. This is where animals stem from, though Life has expanded it's domain a bit in the past few eons.

After Life breathed existence into the world, there came Energy, who suffused the creatures with boundless vigor to chase and to play, who drove the running streams and the whistling wind forward.

Now at this point, things were happening, and they needed a bit of direction in which to happen in. This is where Fate came on the scene with its great plan for the inhabitants of this world.

And in this world, there were a few creatures who became a bit more noticeable than the rest. These creatures were called Humans by Creation, and they needed a hand to guide them. In this, Humanity was born to watch over those that began to rule the newly-created world.

Humans, funny things that they are, took note of all the things happening around them, and took note of their own penchant for losing details as fickle Time moved onwards. So they invented writing, words, stories, and they began to keep note. In this, Knowledge came to be.

With the gift of Knowledge, Humans began making leaps and bounds, becoming ever more complicated. Unsatisfied with simply trusting in Fate, they began to create codes and structures, implementing law and math and structure. For this, Order comes to be.

But Humans, in their ever-growing greed for moremoremore kept pushing, Eventually they ran into others like them, and they disagreed, for their Order and Humanity were not identical. They found sharp sticks and solid rocks, and they attacked each other in pursuit of more. In this came Conflict.

In the early days, it was not uncommon to see these creatures-gods, as the Humans called them-walking freely amongst the world. To follow with the customs of the Humans that welcomed them, the gods took on names that came to the center of what they were created for.

Creation became Ruin, for it felt sorrow in the end of time. Time became Gate, a passage between spaces. Nature became Wild, for that was the word most often used to describe it. Life became Heart, the center of all that moves and breathes. Energy became Vigor, delighted at this new word Humans called it. Fate, steady in its ways became Kismet, only adorning what was already present. Humanity took on the name Message, ferrying peace between different groups as only a messenger could. Knowledge called itself Chronicle, for a human word that meant to collect. Order adopted the name Torus, in adoration of the creation called math. And Conflict, taking inspiration from the things created to further it, took up the alias of Pike. This is how the gods would be known from then on.

But this world was simply a bit too perfect. The gods were not content simply watching it from afar anymore, instead wishing to partake in the magic that was living. So the gods chose to shed their mantles, leaving them behind for a life.

But the Universe could not cease to exist so easily. These mantles, roles, found ten Humans, each who found solace in a god, and offered them a chance to better the world themselves. These Humans took up the mantle, and thus began the cycle of exchange within the gods.

After some time, Humanity was greater, stronger, powerful enough to forge cities. Their largest was called Shirun, and it was the city of the Gods themselves.

But to tell the story of Shirun is a whole nother story in and of itself.

(That's not to say I won't share it. I have to record everything after all.)

Signing off for now,

Genevieve Persephone Trevor, Unpaid Intern, Scribe of the Gods

[starrysmiling]

(threateningly) all the numbers

i have been threatened.

How many words have you written this year? published total on ao3 is about 33k, but if i add all the unpublished stuff the total is just over 70k! i sure wrote a lot of stuff i won't publish this year LMAO

How many works did you publish this year? 4 (salute emoji)

What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)? finishing steps v2...! it adds a lot of canon exploration and also fern character study which was fun to write and really satisfying to get out!

What work of yours has the most hits? from this year it's steps because i didn't publish anything that wasn't unbound but is it cheating if like half of its 600 hits were from last year. haha. haha

What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? i actually didn't get that much feedback at all from anyone who wasn't already a friend so i guess i'll have to work harder for that. nobody new commented on anything that i published this year and i didn't get a single reblog note so... (shrugs) but there was a nice comment i got about steps taking liberties with the post-canon which made me very happy...!

Favorite title you used i'll post this later this month but 'one step at a time' as a half-companion piece to steps... if i can finish it in time.......

If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most? let's just take a moment to listen to acacia by bump of chicken the fucking song ever the everything the fax essay

Pairing you wrote the most for this year?

Favorite pairing you wrote for this year? 8 and 9 are the same. fax. i only wrote fax. fax the ever

What work was the quickest to write? respite took me about a day, which is insanely fast actually

What work took you the longest to write? steps took me like 8 months to rewrite. it turned out pretty damn good so we're winning here

How many WIPs do you have in your docs for next year? surprisingly not a lot... i have bodyguard to work on, which is pretty much a constant, but otherwise i think i'm done most of my wips. i want to take a writing break once i'm done with my current fics because i'm just. tired. but i have a bunch of ideas (some basic ideas and aus, some about aros with jax... i have reincarnation sitting in my notes... promised to do something w crime boss and syndicate too...)

What’s your longest work of the year? stop making me say steps BUT it's 38.5k baby!!!!!!

What’s your shortest work of the year? actually this unpublished micro study of fern which i find really sexy. i'll put it at the end so you guys can read it too!

What WIP are you taking into next year with you? bodyguard (fernsleep) it's always bodyguard. augh

What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag? pov 2nd person because it's so fucking sexy but to be real it's probably fluff

Your favorite character to write this year? i literally only wrote fax. so uh. i guess jax ? he's easier than fern

The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year? SEE ABOVE. FERN IS HARD

What’s one pairing you want to explore next year? not really pairing but once i get up to khux i have something in mind w ephemer! and also maybe some khml things because i can't just be faxing all the time (i can absolutely fax all the time and i will continue to if left unchecked)

Which work of yours have you reread the most? probably steps again but i think hook, line, sinker gets privileges too

How many kudos in total did you get this year? ao3 is telling me 27 on the fics i've posted this year of which like. 10 are from steps being from last year. let's do better next year. otherwise i get a ton from my old prsk works and occasionally from enstars but i haven't posted anything new for either for a while

Which work has the most comments? please i literally wrote only for a ridiculously obscure fandom. please give me a break (it's steps.)

Did you do any collaborative works this year? no :( i think it'd be fun to try but i'm kinda bad at working with people because of my specific vision and vibe for whatever i do (also perfectionism). i also literally don't have friends into the same things as i am

Did you write any gifts this year? mage i know you're here. i hope you enjoyed your 13k of porn

Did you receive any gifts this year? no. i don't expect to get any though

What’s your most common category? what does this mean . umm. m/m G-T usually i think releasing porn this year was a bit new but it was good and i liked it a lot so ,

What do you listen to while writing? whatever song i'm addicted to recently! this is how you get me listening to catchy idol pop while i'm writing about fern getting his sanity fucked out of him. the vibes don't really matter because the music is just there to stop me from getting distracted at everything

Favorite work you wrote this year? this ask game really wants me to say steps again but it's literally my pride and joy. i hope you all play unbound so you can read my 38k monster oneshot

Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? "It's cute, in a way, how his dishonesty betrays everything he wants to say."

Biggest surprise while writing this year? i actually quite liked a lot of the things i did this year. they're not bad and i don't mind rereading them and i hope that means i've gained a bit more confidence in myself... also i wrote 13k of straight up porn that's new. i've never wrote that much goddamn porn before lmao

anyway that bit from (14) because i think it's really sexy thinking about fern in terms of his relationship with intimacy and how that relates to sex and romance in his view of things... y'know......

[lividria]

i swear every time i get into a game that has an actual community it'll feel like i just woke up on mars because i usually dig really deep into a game's lore, history, trivia, unused content, etc. and THEN i'll find stuff from the community and i don't even mean for that to happen it just works that way and it always plays out the exact same way without fail besides for when there is no community

like, a week or two ago i remembered OFF exists, watched a whole playthrough of it, have been listening to it's OST an unhealthy amount (I'm doing it right now, Unreasonable Behavior is so good), i go onto tumblr, first OFF post i see once i add it's tag to my feed is someone's art for an AU where all the characters all like hang out at a cafe together or something and everything is chill, which is like the antithesis of everything i had just experienced related to the game and i couldn't help but laugh in confusion once i realized what i was looking at

i go in the discord server for iconoclasts after obsessing over the game for like a year and annoying the fuck out of my friends about it, literally the only fanmade character i have seen is a chemico contra member who's also a phlebotomist, i had to google what a phlebotomist is and like... i didn't look into their lore by ctrl-f-ing or whatever so i'm probably missing something, but how do you come to this conclusion (actually i think i know, they mentioned they actually became one at some point after making this character which is really funny actually)

i start watching videos about pikmin after finally beginning to slowly come off one of the most intense hyperfixations i've had in my entire life to the point i had played through all 5 games in the series and dedicated weeks and entire days to trying to figure out the lore before giving up because it's nintendo lol and spending a roughly equal amount of time trying to come up with intentionally terrible ideas for more games in the series only to accidentally get WAY too into it (see my alph wraith post lol), i am greeted with Fiddlebert, and a later a dub of an AU where the player character is actually a wraith and is hiding it from the rest of the rescue corps (this post is still probably one of the funniest jokes i've ever seen) and the entire thing scarily resembles the type of shit i'd write if i was given this premise to work with down to the mention of an innocent child being consumed that's first brought up with a doodle of them saying "Oh boy I sure do hope being alive!" while holding The Goo THAT'S EXACTLY HOW I TREAT HORRIBLE EVENTS IN MY STORIES WHEN I'M TALKING ABOUT THEM

i look at the tag for ultrakill on tumblr and feel like i just got sent to hell myself with the punishment of being stuck in a permanent state of confusion due to the sheer contrast to the source material all the fanart has, same goes for most of the posts about it in general actually, i go in expecting like blood & violence and instead i'm greeted with gabriel & v1 making out. drawn by 50 different users. (i don't even need to link anything here just check #ultrakill you'll see)

and this isn't even touching on all of the ships i've seen that are utterly incomprehensible to me because. like. why magolor and the snowman enemy? why kingsly and puddle??? i thought alph didn't like louie? wait also what do you mean at least two people's headcanon is that louie is trans? (ok i couldn't re-find some of the things in this paragraph and i'm too tired to conduct an in-depth search but you could probably find it if you looked)

i'm not hating on anything i brought up here it's just a bunch of funny examples i think about a lot now that i've seen them, you guys go do whatever you want even if i don't get it go have fun lol, i just love the feeling of pure confusion when i walk into the room and get punched in the face with a complete subversion of my expectations because it feels like i'm missing SO MUCH CONTEXT and i never get used to it i love it i love the internet

[glassofspoiledmilk]

I love you, Spencer Reid

Chapter 2, warnings: language, violence, death, murder, abuse

WC: 1.1k , Pt1

Tag list: @mega-kittyglitter-1

There laid a severed, scorched head in the box on the table. I flinched and covered my mouth. The face was completely unrecognizable.

I can hear the faint sound of Spencer talking in the distance as I try to choke back the vomit in my throat.

I walked away from the counter and collapsed onto my couch, my heart beating rapidly. I gripped the pillow and covered my mouth.

Spencer covered up the box and sat down next to me.

"Y/N its uh- it's gonna be ok. We're gonna find whoever did this" he hesitantly whispers, unsure of what to say.

"How is this going to be ok? There's a head in my dining room!" I spat out, my hand sliding from my mouth up to my forehead.

"I'm going to call Hotch" Spencer says as he picks up his phone.

Before I knew it the entire BAU and police department were in my apartment.

I was ushered outside by Hotch and Morgan for questioning.

"What exactly happened when you found the package?" Hotch asks me as I sit down on the steps just outside the complex.

"I-I came home from the Bureau and found the package but something felt off..so I took the note from under the ribbon and it had a creepy Shakespeare quote which I would later learn had to do with the..head..inside, but I called over Spencer because I was scared and that's when we opened it" I say, shivering after every word.

"Spencer told me when you were in middle school you were in Shakespeare, could this be connected?" He asks.

"I..I don't know, it could be but we never did Hamlet" I said as I wiped the sweat off my forehead.

"I just need to sleep and I'll be able to make the best profile I can by tomorrow afternoon" I say as I look up at him.

"I'm sorry Y/N but you're a victim, therefore you are a part of our victimology and I cannot allow you to work on this case" he says sternly.

"But hotch! This case is centered around me, I-If I don't do something more people are going to die and I will not let that happen" I plead.

"The case being centered around you is exactly why we can't have you on it, my decision is final" Hotch glares.

"Listen Y/N I get this is hard but I promise we're gonna find whoever did this to you" Morgan says with a glimpse of hope.

"So while you're out there doing whatever the hell you're doing I'm supposed to sit here and wait for another head to turn up!?" I yell, standing up from the stairs.

"What happens if he decides he wants to send my head to one of you while I'm here, vulnerable and alone!" I add.

"We will have an agent with you at all times" Hotch assures me.

"Who?" I ask.

"You can have Spencer or Penelope" he adds.

"I want Spencer" I reply.

"Very well then" Hotch says before he and Morgan walk back to the black suburban.

I laid my hand on my forehead as I started walking back into my apartment. Almost everyone had left, besides a few CSI workers testing the carpet outside my door.

And Spencer.

"I just uh..got a call from Hotch that I'm supposed to be staying with you until we catch the unsub right?" He asks, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Yeah..hotch said I could have another agent with me" I say as I enter my apartment.

"So uh- do you think I could go home and back some bags?" He asks with a slight smile.

“Oh yeah..would you mind if I came with you tho I don’t feel too safe on my own right now” I confess, slightly ashamed of my cowardice.

“That’s fine just don’t mind my apartment is slightly messy” he replies as we walk back outside.

I hop into the passenger seat of his car and we drive a few miles away to his apartment.

The car ride was filled with quick conversations and yawns .

“I don't mean to be a bother but do you think we could sleep at my house..I’m a little too tired to pack right now..” Spencer says as he rubs his tired eyes.

“I don’t mind” I reply with a quick yawn.

“I think I have some pajamas and there’s a pull-out on my couch so I think we’ll be ok..” he adds.

“Sounds good” I mumble, resting my head on hand.

When we enter his apartment it looks very neat and smells of old books and coffee.

He locks the door behind him and resets his alarm system.

I stand tiredly in front of his door as he runs into his bedroom, soon returning with a sweatshirt and pants.

“I don’t know if these will fit too well but they should be ok for tonight..” he says shyly, handing me the clothes.

“Thanks..” I rub my eyes as he leads me to his bathroom.

“You can change in here if you want..I’ll just be setting up the pullout” he adds as he opens the door for me.

I slowly walk inside and flick on the light switch, the bright light hurting my eyes.

I slip out of my work clothes and fold them on the sink before stepping into the comforting pair of sweats. I walk back out and see the pullout bed on the floor neatly made and decorated with pillows.

“I know it’s not too big but I think it’s better than just the couch” he says as he adjusts the comforter.

“Thank you Spencer really, you didn’t have to” I say with a sleepy smile.

“No need to thank me, just doing my job” he replies with his signature straight smile.

“Well goodnight..try and get as much sleep as you can, if you need me I’ll just uh be in here” he says as he points to his bedroom.

“Goodnight Spencer” I reply as I climb onto the bed.

He slightly nods his head in acknowledgment before walking off into his bedroom.

I pull the warm covers on top of me and try my best to preoccupy myself with thoughts other than the severed head found earlier.

Which was not working, but who could blame me.

However, soon enough I felt my eyelids start to get heavy, and I softly rested my head on a pillow and went to sleep.

[keshi-gommu]

Time to make this sticky/intro post!!

Wazzup, welcome to my page. I'm Dj Sunstone This blog has a little bit of a lot going on but I try to organize it with tags.

I like to play rnb, hip hop, Disco and house music when I DJ. Outside of that I post clips from video games and just teblog the stuff I enjoy.

I'm pro sex worker and do reblog a significant amount of sex worker content. With that in mind, my blog is 18+. If you are under 18 and/or do not want to see random adult content please DNI.

In terms of music, you can use the following tags to help navigate

#djsunstone chooses - music recommendations

#streamhighlights -stream stuff

--

I also like the pokemon IRL/rotomblr community and participate mildly. In this I also go by Dj Sunstone. When I am doing/reblogging pokemon irl content it will be tagged #pokemonirl and #unreality accordingly.

I live in the Paldea region, based in the area of Medali (that shard Cafe slaps, even if the school folks show up frequently to fight Larry). For work I'm a unionized freelance pokemon gym compliance officer (All officer, but no Jenny.... no shade to my friend Jenny on the compliance team. She's unlearning that cop shit.). Me and the rest of the compliance team will take on various jobs to inspect and test gyms to make sure they are in up to code in terms of flexability, typing, and overall capability. Ultimately our job in the compliance department is to ensure better enrichment and development of pokemon trainers.

In order to keep my pokemon strong, fit , and well maintained, I've been also working part time as a crystal cavern excavator along with other trainers who need to keep their pokemon in good form. The Paldea region has these weirdass crystals that pop up daily and hold terastallized pokemon and, more importantly, have a lot of shit you can sell to the pokemart. The stronger the pokemon inside, the greater the rewards. I've even seen this hebra mystica I read about in my academy days there. Neat!

Normally we'd let the folks doing their treasure hunt handle most of the crystal caverns since theres a lot of small fry out there, but recently we've been seein some crazy black crystals showing up with some tricked out and strong as hell terradtallized pokemon that are waaaaay too dangerous for your average trainer. So i roped my compliance friends in to help battle (and the rewards certInly helped grease the wheels on that) . We've also been seeing champion class trainers from all over paldea region stepping up to help take down these black crystal raids. We're not always successful in defeating the terastallized pokemon in the black crystals, but usually just engaging them in battle is enough to get them tired out too.

That said, I spend my off time playing music (Giacomo has some crazy good remixes tbh, i mean have you HEARD the team star theme?), and taking care of my pokemon.

Being a compliance officer, I have a significant amount of pokemon that I care for and I'll share them here. But for now my current team is:

Jupiter (Meowscarada)

Mahk [pronounced like Mark with a pokeboston accent] (Electrode)

Owen (Pawmot)

Goldy (Magneton)

Sylvester (Sylveon)

Chikken Bean (this weird ass red Cyclizar I found; Some kid has been riding around on one too, and later I learned it's related to that Professor who abandoned their kid)

(This post will be edited to revise my current team and maybe add pics)

I've got room for one more on the current squad. Chikken Bean is my wheels in the region, he doesn't do any real battling so he's not really part of the 6 pokemon I carry around as my party.

[nonbinarydeity]

New me, new reality! Let's get started.

What are my personal first steps on forging my own path?

I'm going to start off by saying that from now on, I'm not going to be using LOA terms unless they fit how I see the world. If I find better terms along the way, I will update you all as possible, but I'm going to try to make this as easily understandable as possible, and that means changing my language to allow more people to understand. I will also likely change the tags I use a long the way, so if you want to keep seeing my content I suggest you turn on notifications because you might not find me under my usual tags anymore (I will do my best to add the tag "nonbinarydeity" to my posts to make them easier to find.

Please note that although I want to help as many people as possible, my goal is not to grow my blog. I just want to share my experience with manifestation with everyone who wants to see the full process, start to finish, of my personal path to becoming a master manifestor. This means I'll be showing the good, the bad, the ugly, etc. I'll put trigger warnings as needed, so please heed them. I'm also going to be as honest as possible because I'm tired of acting like I don't have problems lol.

Next step: I want to let go of all of my old beliefs regarding manifestation. I'll keep the basics, of course (will be detailed in a later post), but all of the junk piled on top (the "have to's" and "must's") have got to go. I'm not sure how I'm going to go about this yet, but as I learn to I'll update you all.

Final thing!! I want everyone to know that this is MY journey, so what works best for me might not work best for you, and that's OKAY!! I'll try to describe my process as I go to help you all understand how to do this yourselves, but you don't ever have to do what I do, don't put yourself in a box just because I want to do something a certain way.

[novatwoast67]

☆ About me ☆

(since my bio is getting long)

Hi! My name is Oliver :3

Age: 21

Gender: genderqueer trans masculine (+1 year on testosterone)

Pronouns: he/him, they/them, it/it's

Orientation: grey ace and grey rom but also pan

Nationality: Filipino-New Zealander living in Australia

I'm Autistic, got ADHD, anxiety, depression and C-PTSD

I'm also one of the main hosts of a DID system (professionally diagnosed as of 26th Feb 2024!!) but this is my blog specifically

I practice witchcraft and goetic demonolatry

I'm also a psychological and spiritual otherkin, my main kintypes being void and vampire

My other notable side blogs:

@novartwoast (my current art blog)

@mogaifriendly (my mogai support/positivity blog)

@soupforbats (my otherkin blog)

@soupforstars (the system's blog)

Tags list:

#important tag (for information posts)

#always reblogg (for support posts)

#signal boost (self explanatory)

(i also have tags for other peoples art, writing, cosplay etc. and tags for animals and trigger warnings/content warnings but theres a lot so i wont list em)

note i dont always have the energy to tag everything so if i dont tag something important that fits the bill for the tags above, its not because it isn't important/good enough! i just dont always have the energy to do so ;w; but if i dont forget, ill try and go back to the posts to add the tag later!

small disclaimer but i tend to hyperfixate on problematic media but i know how to not support people and content that have these issues, and i know how to seperate the art from the artist/the persona from the person etc.. ive just accepted at this point that nothing is pure and that I'll try to avoid the worst stuff ;w;

if youre unccomfortable with anything i seem interested in because of this, dont feel bad about unfollowing and/or blocking me! take care of yourself first and foremost, you deserve to feel comfortable in your own space.

(that being said please dont judge me poorly when you do so ;w; my anxiety over these things is incredibly debilitating and genuinely makes my mental health spiral- but im working on it)

Please Do Not Interact if you perpetrate, defend or support:

"M4P/NOM4P"s (p3dophilia)

z0ophilia

n4zis, x3nophobia, racism, white supremacy

t3rfs, t3hms*

1ncest

rape, sexual assault, sexual abuse

other forms of assault and abuse

animal abuse (this includes P3TA)

anti v4x

pro l1fe

homophobia, transphobia, queerphobia in general

cringe culture

DNI (unless you're ok with having a chill and healthy debate**)

exclusionists (this means aphobia, if youre against he/him lesbians and she/her gays, if you're against bi/pan lesbians and bi/pan gays and if youre against mogai/neopronouns/neogenders)

trumeds

anti-kin/anti-therian

ableist

against self dx'ing (of course please take care and be sure to heavily research depending on the diagnosis but otherwise I'll usually assume you have and/or won't really be bothered either way)

pro ship (im not an anti shipper cuz i find the debate pointless, but i trust anti shippers a little more than pro shippers)

singlets or systems that are really big into endo syscourse. Most of my other system members and I believe in "you do you, just try to be nice to people and please be respectful of traumagenic systems if you're endo". That's about it

*if youre a t3rf or a t3hm i AM willing to have a conversation about the unethical nature of trans exclusion, but (as stated below) i may not respond if you're rude or if im too tired

**if you're rude or I'm too tired don't expect me to respond

Also just an fyi I probably don't have everything on these lists so im sorry if i missed anything!

and if you catch me perpetrating anything on this list it's definitely an accident due to ignorance; I'm nowhere near perfect so please let me know if it seems like i messed up! I'll be sure to look into it when I can.

That's pretty much it! Sorry for the long pinned post but yeah, enjoy my blog i guess :'D

[morosemagick]

Listen, Before I Go | Finan x Reader One Shot

Welcome to my first one shot/first Reader!Fic.

Be gentle, I'm trash.

Warning: Major Character Death, (its sad, okay, idk what else to say.)

Words: 3847

Tagged:

@solinarimoon @lauwrite1225

You had seen many things in your life as a traveling healer. Wounds and illnesses alike, taking you from place to place wherever people may need you. Taking care of people was in your blood. Both your parents were healers, and you planned on using all they taught you to care for people around the world. And yet, when you met Uhtred of Bebbanburg and his crew of accident-prone warriors in the aftermath of the battle at Tettenhall, something inside you told you to stay. A feeling in your heart, telling you that no one will ever need you more than they would. Over the months that passed, that feeling proved true. You healed every cut, bruise, and battle wound they would come to acquire. Each wound healed was a bond growing stronger with each man in Uhtred’s service, including your lord himself.

Osferth, the first of the Coccham boys you healed. His kindness was always warming to the heart. Sihtric, who spoke often of his wife and joked about his desire to return to her in one piece. And of course, Finan, whose laugh made your heart skip a beat and smile did things to you that was certainly ungodly. They were your family, and you loved them all dearly.

And you would do whatever it took to save their lives.

Especially now, when they needed you most.

“Sihtric!” You scream out at the sight of him, bloody and broken. The snow falls thick and heavy around you, stained red with the Danish man’s blood and Osferth and Finan work together to lift him from the ground.

“We got him, Y/N, just go!” Finan yells out, and you nod okay. The storm is picking up and though the raiders that ambushed you are dead, none of you are out of the woods yet.

Up ahead is a cave. It’s cold and dark but it’s dry, and getting Sihtric out of the storm is your main priority.

“This way, to the cave!” You call out as you lead the men forward, being sure to check for any unfriendly creatures that might be hiding out from the storm inside. When the coast is clear, you wave the others on.

As carefully as they can, Osferth and Finan lower Sihtric to the ground. The injured warrior groaned as he touched the ground, “We need to make a fire.” Finan tells the rest of you.

“Did anyone see Lord Uhtred?” Osferth questions, making you and Finan glance at each other.

You shake your head no, and then Finan looks back to Osferth, “He must be with Lady Aethelflaed.”

“Should we look for them-”

“We can’t,” Finan cuts him off, sighing, “We must stick together, make a fire, and take care of Sihtric.”

“I will tend to Sihtric,” You tell them, “Go get what you need for a fire but please stay close, this storm is only getting worse, and finding your way back might get harder.”

Finan nods okay, and the two men leave as you bend down to check up on Sihtric. He’s breathing heavy but he’s still alert so that has you at ease. Checking his wound on his side, it doesn’t seem bad but it will definitely need stitching. His skin, however, is freezing to the touch and that makes you nervous, “That bad?” Sihtric chuckles the best he can, his eyes looking so very tired.

“Not at all, you needed stitches. That’s all,” You tell him as you look through the pouch tied to your belt.

“You are a bad liar, Y/N,” He huffs, looking up to the ceiling of the cave, “Tell me, please.”

Biting your lip, you sigh and glance away, “You're freezing, you need fire or you may get sick.”

“I could have told you that,” He laughs but the motion makes his side hurt and his laughter turns to a wince.

“You must rest, Sihtric, please,” You tell him as you find your needle and thread, “Eahlswith will not forgive you if you do not make it home in one piece, remember?”

“Ealhswith,” He smiles slightly, and then grunts as you start to clean the wound, “I miss her.”

“And you will see her soon, I promise,” Glancing up, you can see fear in Sihtrics eyes, and it breaks your heart, “I swear it, Sihtric.”

He only nods, and you continue to care for him in silence.

------------------------------------<3---------------------------------------

Time has passed, and the fire has been made, but it’s small and just barely enough to keep you all comfortable so to make up for the lack of heat you all huddle close to each other. You are to Sihtric’s left, Finan is to yours, and Osferth is on the other side of Sihtric. Sihtric’s wound was cleaned well but he is still very cold and you’re trying your best not to show how worried you are. As you take a deep breath, you let out a shiver and it shakes your whole body.

Noticing how cold you are, Finan scoots closer and wraps his arms around yours and holding it tight, “You alright, Y/N?”

You glance momentarily at Sihtric, who's currently half awake with his head on your shoulder and his eyes on the fire ahead of them, and then look back at Finan, “I am.”

It’s a lie. You’re terrified.

Terrified of losing your friends, of dying to the cold, but mostly you’re terrified of not being able to keep the oath you made to Lord Uhtred and yourself to keep them all safe. It’s killing you inside.

Sihtric is shivering to your right, his cold body against yours sending chills down your spine.

“Alright there, Sihtric?” You ask him, though you know the answer. Instead of staying strong, you can feel him shake his head no. His fear brings a tear to your eyes, “It’ll be okay.”

“It will not,” Sihtric whispers, making everyone else suddenly alert to how beaten he’s feeling.

“It will be, Sihtric, we will get out of this mess like we have every other mess Uhtred has gotten us into,” Finan tries to joke in an attempt to keep everyone’s spirit up.

“Uhtred isn’t even here,” Sihtric tells him, his head still rested on your shoulder, “We might never see him again. I might not-”

“We are getting out of here,” Osferth adds, “God will see us through this.”

“He is not my God, Osferth, he does not care if I live or die,” Sihtric argues.

None of you have seen him so defeated before.

“Hey, hey, look at me,” You tell Sihtric as you turn your body to face him, forcing him to lift his head up. You can tell it’s a struggle for him to hold himself up, and it’s hard for you to keep a calm expression. You grab Sihtric by his face and put on your best smile, but your eyes are still watering and the wind outside has made it so unbearably cold; so at this point, you don’t know if you have it in your heart to lie to him. So you don’t, “I know you are cold, and you hurt, but I will do whatever it takes to make sure you get home to Coccham. To your wife, and to your son.”

Sihtric nods okay, but his eyes tell another story as he starts to cry.

Past his shoulder, you can see Osferth is also looking mighty defeated as his own eyes start to get red, and behind you, Finan’s hand has gripped your cloak and tight.

And then, to make matters worse, the fire dies.

“Fucking bastard fire!” Finan growls loudly as he kicks the still hot wood with his foot, making soot spread, “Fuck!” His scream echoes throughout the cave as he gets up and stomps around in anger, and you look away from Sihtric as you start to cry, biting your lip in hopes of keeping your fear to yourself.

On the tips of your fingers, you feel Sihtric’s tears falling down.

“Finan, sit... please,” Osferth calls out, and you can hear his voice cracking, “Being angry will solve nothing.”

Sihtrics’ crying has worsened, and now they can all hear him.

You pull him closer to you, cuddling him like a child in your arms, trying your best to keep him warm. His sobbing is enough to shake you both, but you keep your grip on him strong. Osferth scoots his body closer to Sihtrics, putting his arm around his brother, and to your left, you can hear Finan return to his seat. After a moment or two, you can feel his arms wrap around your waist and hold you tight.

At least if you die, it will be next to those you love the most.

The four of you sit this way in silence for some time, the only things you can hear are Sihtric crying and the strong snowy winds blowing outside the cave. You have never been a very religious person, but at that moment you find yourself praying to every god you can think of to save the ones you love.

A moment later you hear Sihtric sniffle, and shuffle a bit in your arms before he sighs and speaks, “Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“Can you sing for us?” He asks, and you nod yes.

If you can bring him comfort now, in what very well might be his final hours, you will do whatever he wishes.

“Take me to the rooftop. I wanna see the world when I stop breathing. Turning blue,” You rest your cheek on top of Sihtric’s head, and your eyes glance away as you continue, “Tell me, love is endless, don't be so pretentious. Leave me, like you do. If you need me, wanna see me, better hurry 'Cause I'm leaving soon,” There's sniffling in the air as you sing, you can hear Osferth shuffling, probably to get closer to Sihtric, and you can feel Finan’s arms grip you tighter. “Sorry, can't save me now. Sorry, I don't know how. Sorry, there's no way out but down, mm down.”

You move your left hand down to where Finan is holding you tight, and he moves to grab it, squeezing it as best he can. His hand is lacking a glove, and yet you can feel his warmth.

You hold on to that feeling as you continue singing, “Taste me, the salty tears on my cheek. That's what a year-long headache does to you. I'm not okay, I feel so scattered, don't say I'm all that matters. Leave me. Deja vu. If you need me, wanna see me, you better hurry. I'm leaving soon,” Finan’s head is on your shoulder, you can feel his breath on your neck. It makes you think of all the times you should’ve kissed him. You should have told him. Probably too late for that now, though, “Sorry, can't save me now. Sorry, I don't know how. Sorry, there's no way out, but down, mm down. Write my friends and tell them that I love them. And I'll miss them... but I'm not sorry. Write my friends and tell them that I love them, and I'll miss them…”

Sorry.

------------------------------------<3---------------------------------------

The men have been asleep for some now, but you’re still awake. You have been staring at Sihtric all night, watching his chest rise and fall. Making sure his chest still rises and falls. A couple of times you’ve even put your fingers to his lips to make certain that he’s still breathing. Anything to make sure he’ll survive through the night. On the other side of him, Osferth is sound asleep, you can hear the man snore just slightly, and see him cuddled against Sihtric’s side.

The inside of this cave is freezing but you know it’s better than being out in the storm.

“Y/N?” You hear Finan whisper, “Are you up?”

“I am,” You whisper back, your fingers hovering just above Sihtric’s lips. Still breathing, good. You roll over slowly to not wake him, and when you are facing Finan, you sigh, “He is still alive, thank God.”

“Do you think he’ll make it?” Finan asks quietly, his eyes a red mess.

You shrug, not wanting to lie right now, “I do not know, Finan,” You shake your head, and the tears are building in your eyes again and your next words barely make it out, “I fear the worst.”

The tears fall down your cheeks and you try your best to not cry too loudly because you fear waking them more than you do crying in front of the man who’s stolen your heart. Finan reaches out to hold you by your cheeks and you can feel how warm he is still, it’s not much but enough to feel wonderful against your cold face as you cry. He shuffles his body closer to you, and you can feel his breath on your face as you open your eyes.

You don’t want to die without him knowing how he makes you feel. How he makes your heart flutter. How he fills you with so much life.

How loved he makes you feel.

“Finan- I need to tell you something,” You get yourself ready to say the words, but he stops you with his finger on your lips.

“Tell me in the morning, Y/N,” He’s smiling, but his eyes are red and full of tears.

“But what if we don’t make it to morning?” Your voice cracks, and instead of answering Finan leans in and kisses you. It’s warm and delicious, and you want to kick yourself that it’s only happening now when you might not live to see another day because your body is cold but kissing Finan now fills your soul with so much warmth.

Perhaps this wouldn’t be a terrible way to die.

The two of you stay like that for a while, and you're trying your best to etch every inch of him into your mind as he pulls you in closer by the way to deepen the kiss. It’s everything you’ve ever wanted. It’s like coming home, and when you finally break apart the content smile on his face says he feels the same.

Finan leans back in, kissing your face over and over again. Making sure to kiss away all the tears that have stained your cheeks and then finding his way to your neck, “If I didn’t fear waking them, I’d pull my cock from my trousers and warm you with that.”

You try to bite your lip to contain your laughter, but a snicker comes out anyway, “I’m sure that is that last thing either of them would like to see now.”

“Aye, but what a sight it would be,” He smirks, leaning in for another kiss, “But If I’m going to bed you, Y/N, it will be properly I swear it.”

“I will hold you to that,” You tell him with another kiss, and as you move to separate you can see the expression on his face shift and the mood become more somber, "We should try to sleep. We need our energy."

"You sleep, I'll keep watch," Finan tells you, kissing your forehead.

"Nothing is going to hurt us here but the cold," You try to tell him, "Please try to sleep, Finan."

"I will, Y/N, let me just hold you for a while," Finan nods for you to turn around and you comply, and a moment later his arms are around your waist again and he's kissing behind your ear. Then, barely a whisper and more like wind, you can hear him say something in your ear, "Tá grá agam duit."

It's the last thing you hear before you fall asleep.

------------------------------------<3---------------------------------------

You wake from your sleep in a cold sweat, your heart racing as you rise quickly from the ground. The first thing you do is turn your body to your right to check on Sihtric, and to your surprise you find him sitting up and wide awake.

It brings tears to your eyes.

"Oh thank God," You can't help but say at the sight of him.

Sihtric smiles slightly. He looks tired, but he's alive and that's all the matters, "Good morning, Y/N."

"How are you feeling?" You ask as you lean over to put the back of your hand on his forehead. He's warmer than he was last night, which is a good sign, "Warmer? Is your wound okay?"

"Looks like you did it again, Y/N," Osferth calls out as he enters the cave with firewood in his hand, "Told you you’d be okay." Osferth drops the wood where the original fire once sat and then walks over to Sihtric and ruffles his hair, "Lord Uhtred will be pleased."

You chuckle, wiping your face of tears, and then suddenly you remember last night and Finan.

With a smile still on your face you turn to your left, where you can see his body still lying there, "Finan, it's morning-" the moment you put your hand on him your smile fades and your heart drops as you notice something very important. His fur cloak isn't on his body, but on yours and Finan is cold, "Finan?" You shake his shoulder as you call his name, the frantic sound of your voice getting the other’s attention, "Finan!"

Osferth rushes to your side just as you turn him on his back, and you place your fingers to his lips and can barely feel a thing. Osferth, however, has his hand on Finan’s forehead, "He's burning up."

"I cannot feel his breath," You tell Osferth as the tears hit you quick, and your breathing is all over the place, "Finan, come on, please-" you start to pump at his chest to get his heart moving, breathing into his mouth to help him get air. You do both this over and over again, trying not to let the sobbing stop you, "Come on, Finan, please!"

"Y/N?" You can hear Sihtric's voice question you from where he sits, the sound of fear clear.

You keep going, refusing to give up on him. Thinking about the other night.

You still haven't told him-

"Y/N," Osferth calls to you, but you do not stop, "Y/N," He tries pulling you away, but you keep going, and going, but now Osferth is pulling a little harder, "Y/N, please-"

And just as Osferth is about to tell you to stop, Finan starts to gasp for air and your heart can beat again, "God, thank you," you cry as you pull Finan close to you, taking off the cloak he gave you in the night and putting it back around his body. He's breathing lightly, but he's breathing so that's good enough for now, "You're okay, Finan, you're okay." He lifts his hand up to grab yours and you place a kiss on the top of his head.

“It seems your God is with us, Osferth,” Sihtric chuckles from behind them, making you and Osferth look back at him with a smile.

“We need to get out of this cave,” Osferth smiles, patting your shoulder as he rises to his feet.

“Why, when you’ve seemed to have made it home?” The voice from behind you has you all turning heads, a shocked and pleased look on your faces when you see Lord Uhtred has found you, “Y/N, what have you done to my men? They look awful.”

You laugh in relief at the sight of him. It seems all the Gods have heard your prayer.

------------------------------------<3---------------------------------------

You all get home to Coccham in one piece, and you’ve never been happier to see your little home in your whole life. They leave Finan with you so you can watch him recover, and you do not mind giving the Irishman your bed. It’ll take him a few days to heal, and after everything that has happened, you’d prefer to keep a close watch on him. Sihtric and Ealhswith stop by to visit, partially so you check on Sihtric and partially so Ealthswith can thank you with meals for bringing her husband home.

Osferth and Lord Uhtred stop by as well. Finan isn’t always awake so they usually sit by his side for a while. Osferth prays and you think Uhtred might too.

You are cooking dinner one evening when you hear movement in your bedroom, and the sound of something falling over. You immediately rush to the other room to find that Finan is trying to sit up, and has knocked a cup of water to the floor.

“What do you think you're doing?” You giggle as he leans back down, feeling grateful to see him awake.

“If you wanted me in your bed, Y/N, you only needed to ask,” Finan jokes as you walk closer to him, sitting at the edge of the bed, “What happened?”

“You’re a fool, that’s what happened,” You tell him as you put your hand to his forehead and he is no longer burning, which is good, “You had a fever, almost froze to death,” Your smile fades as you take a deep breath, “I thought I lost you for a moment…”

“A fever?” He questioned, looking generally lost, “I don’t remember a fever,” He reaches out and takes your hand, gently rubbing your knuckles, “But I do remember some things. You were going to tell me something, were you not?”

You smile and lean down to kiss his forehead, “I’ll tell you when you're out of this bed.”

Finan laughs, using his other hand to reach out and hold you close from your neck, “Will you now?”

“You have promises you have to make good on first,” Your smirk as you lean in closer.

“Oh and I plan on making good of them, Y/N,” Finan tells you in a low voice that makes you squirm.

You chuckle as you lean in even closer, “God is good.”

“Aye,” He smirks as he hovers over your lips, “Praise him.”

Oh, you do. You thank him later that night in bed as you ride him and Finan makes good on his promise to warm you. A bed that Finan ends up never leaving and now you share together. You praise him on your wedding day, and multiple times on your wedding night. You praise him a few months later when you find yourself pregnant with your firstborn, and again when you give birth to your first son. You thank God for every child you have after, and every moment with this family of yours; made and found, that you decided to stay in Coccham and make it your home.

You thank God, all the Gods, for every moment they bless you with.

Even once your husband passes on.

And one day, when you're old, tired, and lying in the grass surrounded by the ones you love most you thank him one last time; before you go, for blessing you with such a life.

Grateful to go out under the heat sun, taking in the world one last time.

[alloftheimaginess]

Little Morgan

Ooc Spencer Reid.

Wordcount : 2727

After filming her latest movie After, overseas for the last year 26 year old Yn Morgan was seen headed to Virginia

I hold my phone in my hand as I pose for pictures with the fans I ran into at the airport even though I look like a literal pile of shit. I work with what I have which is filters and when they are done taking photos on their phone I pull out my phone and I go to my Snapchat and I use my phone to take selfies with fans and I take like 8 before adding them to my Instagram story, getting all of their instagrams so that I can tag them.

"Arrived home to so much love. I love you all 😘💕" I add to my Instagram story as well.

"Thank you so much Yn" one of them says.

"Of course no problem" I say hugging them again before my phone starts going off.

"It was nice meeting you all, I'll follow you when I get home" I say walking off and picking up my phone.

"Hey dad" I say as soon as I pick up.

"Hey baby did you land?" He asks.

"Yeah, are you here?" I ask looking around as I grab my suitcase.

"Yeah, I'm walking up right now. I had to park pretty far" he says.

"Okay, I'm making my way to the entrance" I say putting my suitcase down and wheeling it behind me and when I see him, I run over to him and he catches he, pulling me into a hug and I hug him back.

"Hi daddy" I say kissing his head.

"Hey baby. How was the flight?" He asks and I smile at him.

"To be honest I don't know. I was so excited to see Hank that I slept the whole time because if I didn't I would have exploded" I say and he laughs.

"How long has it been?" He asks.

"I only seen him when he was in the hospital and then I was filming supernatural and then when that wrapped I had to fly out from Canada to London to start filming After" I say.

"It's going to be so good to see him in person and not just over FaceTime" I say and he grabs my suitcase.

"Well he's waiting so let's go" he says leading the way.

"Are you okay?" He asks as he gets in after putting my suitcases in the trunk and I nod.

"Yeah, it's just a little weird if I'm being honest" I say buckling up.

"I haven't seen Savannah in so long and I don't want to feel like I'm intruding" I say and he quickly shakes his head.

"I understand, it's a new place. But take your time it's no rush to get use to things. And it's only two weeks but if it was longer you wouldn't be intruding. She's waiting to get some girl time in with you" he says smiling at me before he drives off.

"A few of my former colleagues are coming over for dinner tonight. So I'm just letting you know so you have time to shower and get ready" he says.

"Thank you for the warning. I need time to get presentable" I say smiling at him.

"Welcome home" he says opening the door and I walk inside happy to finally be here instead of living out of a hotel for the past year and a half.

"You did such a good job with the house, it looks nothing like how it use to look" I say looking around.

"Hey sweetie" I hear and Savannah walks around the corner.

"Hey" I say and she hugs me and I hug her back.

"I just started dinner, so you have time to get ready" she says and I nod and Hank runs around the corner.

"Ynn" he says running over to me hugging me.

"Hi Bubba" I say picking him up.

"You've gotten some big and cute. How old are you now?" I ask kissing his head.

"I'm three" he says holding up four fingers and I put one down, smiling at him.

"That's so crazy. I remember seeing you in the hospital as a little baby" I say.

"You seen me in the hospital?" He asks and I nod.

"Yeah, I was one of the first people to hold you" I say brushing his hair out his face.

"Hank, let Yn go shower" Savannah says.

"We'll finish this conversation later" I say putting him down and holding out my fist and he fist bumps me before running off into the kitchen.

"Everything is pretty much exactly where it was it's just updated so you should have no problem finding your way" my dad says and I turn to him nodding.

"Okay" I say going up the stairs to shower and get ready.

I walk down the stairs and I hear a lot of talking and laughing and I tug on my dress before walking around the corner "hey Yn come here" my dad says opening his arms and I walk over and he hugs me, wrapping one arm around my shoulder.

"This is my best friend Penelope, Penelope this is my daughter Yn" he says introducing me to the first person I see.

"You didn't tell me your daughter was the Yn Morgan" she says and I smile at her.

"Well I feel like I'm the only one" I say laughing.

"But it's nice to meet you" I say going to shake her hand but she pulls me into a hug.

"You are so beautiful" she says and I hug her back.

"Thank you" I say smiling at her.

"This is Matt and his wife Kristy, Hotch and his wife Renae, Luke, Tara, Rossi, JJ and her husband Will, Emily and Spencer" he says introducing me to everyone and I shake all of their hands.

"It's really good to meet you all" I say smiling at them.

"I'm with Penelope here. You didn't tell us who your daughter actually was" Luke says and I turn to my dad.

"It never came up" he says and Renae laughs.

"Never came up? We've known you for like 17 years" she says.

"Geez it's almost like you're embarrassed of me" I joke and he laughs rolling his eyes.

"How long are you with your dad?" Matt asks.

"Two weeks, I'm off from filming for a while so I decided to visit them" I say and he smiles at me and I smile back and Savannah hands me a glass of wine and I sip on it.

"You're an actress right?" Kristy asks and I nod.

"Yeah I am" I say smiling at her.

"What's that like?" She asks.

"When I was younger it was a really hard time for me, I started out on a show and then my mom made me join another cast at the same time and I was doing two shows at once and I wasn't use to it so I was very moody and always tired and then after that I did a season of a show and I was quickly done with that because it sucked so I moved on to movies to let myself relax" I say taking a sip of my wine.

"And you do both now right?" JJ asks.

"Yeah, recently I started doing tv again" I say.

"You were in the Netflix series. I think it was called a Time" Will says and I nod.

"Yeah, that's what made me want to start tv again and then I did a show called euphoria with one of my best friends who is like a little sister to me and then I did supernatural and went to work on a movie" I say.

"My girlfriend and I watched Euphoria" Tara says.

"What did you think?" I ask.

"You were so good. We talked about how you and Zendaya played the roles you got so good that it seemed so real" she says and I laugh awkwardly because for me it is very real.

"She told me the day she started filming that Savannah and I weren't allowed to watch it" my dad says wrapping his arm around Savannah.

"Her parts in the show weren't as bad as others but yeah as her parents I wouldn't watch it" she says and everyone laughs.

"What else are you in?" Spencer asks.

"Im in a new series called the umbrella academy. It came out earlier this year and I occasionally do a show called 9-1-1" I say.

"So you've been busy?" Renae asked and I nod.

"Extremely, but I like it. It helps me stay active so I don’t have rid to start thinking" I say drinking the last of my wine.

"I'm going to get a refill. Does anyone need anything?" I ask and they all shake their head continuing on the conversation and I go into the kitchen and I go to the wine and I pour me a glass and I take the plastic baggie out my bra and I put a little on my finger and I stick the bag back in my bra and I hear the door open so I brush it off and I look up to see Spencer and he smiles at me and I smile back.

"Hey" I say.

"Hi, can you top me off?" He asks setting his cup on the island and I nod pouring him a glass and I sit on the cabinet refilling mine.

"So Spencer" I say smiling at him.

"Yeah?" He asks, awkwardly smiling back.

"What do you like to do in your free time?" I ask.

"I don't really get free time but I guess I would have to say I like to read" he says.

"Oh yeah I can see that" I say and I grab my purse that’s on the far end of the cabinet, pulling the book out.

"You've probably read this but if you haven't you should give it a read and let me know what you thought about it. I just finished reading it on the flight here" I say handing it to him.

"How am I going to do that?" He asks and I pull a pen out and I open the front of the book, quickly writing my number in the top of the front cover.

"There you go. I don't know how fast you read but it took me three days so I'll be waiting on the call" I say.

"It's actually not going to take me that long" he says opening the front page again and he reads the first and second page in like 30 seconds.

"Oh my god I totally forgot you're like a genius" I say and he laughs.

"I'm not a genius" he says.

"Something only a genius would say" I say laughing and he looks up as I'm drinking my wine.

"Are you sure you want to give this to me?" He asks and I nod.

"I mean it's a bit too late, I was trying to be cute and write my number down" I say and he blushes a little.

"Yeah, you're right" he says quietly and I giggle.

"Hey, nothing to be embarrassed about" I say holding up my wine glass and I nod to him and he holds his up.

"Here's to fast friend outside of our careers and good books" I say and he taps his glass against mine at the same time I go to tap mine against his and I fall forward applying too much pressure and I catch myself but I break both glasses and the wine falls out and I instantly start laughing.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry" I say and he laughs with me and I jump down to grab some paper towels so I can clean up and he helps me and I hear the door open and I look up.

"Everything okay in here?" Savannah asks and I look up quickly over the island.

"Mhm" I say.

"All is good" Spencer says and she raises a brow.

"Whatever you heard nothing is broke" I say and she laughs.

"If you need another glass they are in the cabinet beside the stove" she says and the door closes and I finish cleaning and I sit back on the floor, with my back pressed against the island and Spencer grabs us more glasses and refills them and sits beside me handing me one.

"Thank you" I say and he smiles at me.

"Here's to fast friends outside of our careers, good books and extra wine glasses" he says and I snort laughing.

"Here here" I say gently tapping his glass and we both drink at the same time.

"Anyone ever tell you how easy it is to get along with you?" I ask and he quickly shakes his head laughing.

"Never and you only say that because I've had to stop myself from pulling out all the ramblings and unwanted facts" he says and I laugh.

"Don't let me stop you, I'd love to hear some of your best facts" I say and he smiles at me and I smile back and I start to lean in and the door opens and we both quickly pull away.

"And that's when I walked out of the Emmy's" I say and my dad clears his throat and I stand up.

"What's going on in here?" He asks.

"Well I was coming in here to refill my glass" I say.

"20 minutes ago" he says.

"And Spencer came in and we started talking and I gave him a book and then I went to cheers his glass and I broke both of ours and had to clean it up and then savannah came in and told us where the spare glasses were and then we refilled our glasses" I say and Spencer stands up.

"Leave them alone" Savannah says coming in to check dinner and I laugh at my dads face and Spencer's phone goes and he looks at it and he sighs.

"I have to go" he says and my dad nods.

"I'll walk you out" I say.

"You don't have to" he says.

"I know but I want to" I say.

"Be careful and I'll see you Sunday" my dad says hugging Spencer who hugs him back and then he hugs savannah as I walk into the living room.

"There you are Yn" Penelope says and I smile.

"I'll be right back to talk, I'm going to walk Spencer out" I say and she nods and Spencer comes to say bye to everyone and I walk him out.

"It was nice getting to meet you, you are way cooler than what I've heard" I say laughing and he laughs and it dies down and it gets awkward.

"Okay I'm just going to come out and say it because I've learned my whole life to just be bold but I like you, like really like you and the time I've talked to you has been the most fun I've had in like the past year and I know it might be weird because our age gap and the fact that I'm Derek's daughter and you're probably taken because only an idiot would ever turn you down and now I'm regretting even saying anything about liking you but it's true and I'm sorry if things are weird between us now but I thought we were having a moment in the kitchen earlier but I'm an idiot and I don't actually know if it was what I-" he cuts my endless rambling off with a kiss and I kiss him back before he pulls away.

"I'm sorry I don't know why I did that" he says.

"It's okay, I don't mind" I say smiling at him.

"I wouldn't normally do that but there's just something about you" he says and I push his hair out of his face, my smile growing bigger and I clear my throat.

"I should head back inside before they get suspicious but call me when you finish the book" I say and he squeezes my hand and I smile at him running back inside and when I get into the house I watch him pull off and I shut the door.

[lychee-drinks]

Sweet Desires // Present Mic/Hizashi Yamada x Female! Reader (NSFW)

Word Count: 3.1k

Tags: Teacher/teacher assistant, choking, hair pulling, smut, dirty talk, cussing

Summary: You are a college student and to graduate you are Hizashi’s assistant. You guys are close, but he tells you to stop seeing him because he’s fallen in love and he feels weird about being with you. You convince him to then go on one date...

A/N: Well well well, this is what i’ve been working on these past few days so enjoy. Just note that this is my second time writing smut and I’m sorry if this is too long 👈👉. Also if you want to support me, https://ko-fi.com/tea999

You weren't a hero, but you were majoring in hero studies hopefully to support famous heroes. As part of your pathway to getting your degree, you had to volunteer and work with heroes/students in high school to become heroes. Thanks to your school, you were able to become a teacher assistant at U.A. Academy under pro hero Present Mic.

He was a friendly teacher, one with high energy in the early morning and was always encouraging you. Hizashi didn't know what it was like to be apart of hero support, but often asked you about school. He treated you like a friend, often during break time he'd drive you out to get you food. Sometimes, you guys would even hang out outside of school, he'd just invite you to a restaurant or just hang out. Your guy's personalities matched each other so it was no surprise that you guys clicked instantly.

You walked into the teacher's lounge, today the students having class, but the teachers were and so you came by to help him out once more. Hizashi didn't notice you at first, he sat at his desk not wearing his normal costume.

No matter how many times you told yourself you couldn't fall for this man, it happened and you suppressed it. Outside of school when you guys would hang out, you always found yourself flirting with him and he would do so back. Going out shopping to places, sometimes you guys would accidentally hold hands for too long. Hizashi's high energy always motivated you and you liked that.

"Hello Present Mic, I've come by today to help you out," You cheered as you sat yourself next to him.

"Heyy, thank you for coming today, it means a lot to me," He smiled with a less cheerful demeanor as usual. You noticed, but you didn't bother asking him what was up. "Can you help me with grading the kid's work today?"

"Yes sir," You smiled and got straight to work.

For the next few hours you helped him out with things he needed to get done, more like a student assistant rather than a student teacher afterall. Today he was more silent, it was strange, but you decided not to ask him.

Later came lunch, Hizashi stood up to take a stretch break. As he lifted his arms up, his shirt came up along with it and you couldn't help but find yourself blushing at the sight of his exposed stomach.

"(Y/N), come with me outside and let's take a break," He smiled. You got up and followed him. Outside in the hall ways, there were some of his students.

"Good afternoon Present Mic!!!" A boy with red hair waved from the group. Hizashi waved back.

You guys sat outside on a bench next to a vending machine. He bought you a can of coffee and you accepted. He on the other hand had a bottle of soda instead.

"What's upwith not wearing the hero attire? Usually you'd always be in costume at school," You asked him as you took a sip out of your can.

"Just not feeling it today, it feels great to be in normal attire," He laughed as he took another stretch standing up. Hizashi stopped and turned to you with a soft expression. You and him made eye contact for a bit and then he spoke up, "How many more hours do you need to be a student teacher?"

'Why is he asking me that?' You thought to yourself. "Just around 8 more hours, why's that?" You asked him.

"I can fake documents and make it look like you completed your hours, you don't need to keep coming to U.A. anymore," He sighed as he took a big drink from his soda.

You stared at him, a bit shocked. Did he not want to see you anymore? Maybe he sympathized that you were a tired college student who wanted to get things done as soon as you can, but you enjoyed being his student assistant. You wouldn't thought he would want you to be under him much longer, but maybe that wasn't the case.

"Why's that? I know I have school to focus on, but I actually enjoy spending time here at U.A," You said to him. He glanced at you and let out a small chuckle.

"I'll be honest, I started liking you," He announced. Hizashi didn't make much eye contact with you, but you could tell he was blushing. Your heart was pounding, he liked you. "I'm sorry if I creeped you out, I don't think I can continue seeing you."

He liked you. Colors of love and disappointment flashed around you and your cheeks went red. How were you supposed to react when the person you had to suppress your feelings for is confessing their feelings to you and trying to cut you out of their life? Hizashi stood there waiting a bit for your response, but it seemed like he wanted to go back. You grabbed his hand.

"I can't leave yet, I love the students here, I love the staff and I like being around you," You stuttered a bit. Your feelings of flattery overwrote feelings of sadness. You still held on to his hand, which felt warm.

He turned back and let your hand go. "I like you so much, but I feel like I'm going to fall too hard for you."

If you let him go back, then you would lose your chance to be with him. You were still stunned, but you made up your mind. Hizashi was starting to walk back and you grabbed him from behind and you pressed your lips onto his.

Hizashi was shocked, but gave in and kissed you back. The kiss was passionate and felt like heaven. Hizashi had his hand stroking your hair. Thankfully, nobody was around to witness the kiss get more intimate, and then he pushed you away.

"I cant, I'm like a teacher to you," He said as he covered his face to blush. It didn't seem like he would budge and so you came with a compromise.

"One date, are you going to tell me that is hanging outside of school was necessary," You said to him with your one finger up. Hizashi didn't say anything back, but he still looked hesitant to respond. "I don't know how to process everything you've told me, I'm getting 'fired' and you also like me. My heart is pounding hard and I just like being around you so much."

You were being like a clueless high school teenager in love confessing your side to him and he laughed at that. "I can't help it that I fell for you, but I don't know if I can pursue anything with you. There's the whole stigma around someone like me and you getting together and I've also got myself busy with being a hero and teaching."

"I... can't help you with that, but I think we should give it a try," You said back. He blushed and turned around.

"You're a persistant one, we'll go on one date then," Hizashi said changing his mind easily. He softly hit his can of soda on your head. Part of him was telling him not to go along with the date so easily, but most of him liked you enough to want to hang out and pursue you.

The day came for your date with Hizashi, your date was going to be just exploring the city, shopping and eating. You were nervous, but you were also excited too.

'Will this date be just like how we normally hang out or much more?' You questioned to yourself.

You made it to the city before he did, and stood in front of a stationary store. Hizashi came by around 10 minutes later in his casual clothes. You rarely saw him wear his casual clothes, but when you did he always looked way more attractive. Hizashi had his hair down in a half up bun and wore glasses you never really saw him wear much.

"HEYYYYYYYYY," Hizashi exclaimed and you waved back to him. "Did you wait too long for me?" He asked as he grabbed your hand. You couldn't help, but blush at him holding your hand.

"Not at all, let's go!!"

For the first part of your date, you guys went around the stores, looking at clothes, going to bookstores, or looking at electronics. He didn't let go of your hand the entire time and you liked that.

"OK, so what do you think of this!!" Hizashi smiled as he put on a funny hat to entertain you. You laughed at him and he laughed back.

"That looks terrible on you, but I'll add a bonus for looking so fine," You smirked.

"Aha you're too kind."

You guys continued to explore, at one point buying food from a bakery. While you were eating a croissant, he suddenly came up and took a bite leaving you mad, but in a cute way. He was a big tease. Messing around with you, and turning things romantic.

While taking a break and resting on a bench, he went off to the bathroom and you were thinking.

'Even if he doesn't want to see me anymore, I hope we remain friends somehow,' You thought to yourself and he came back. This time, he had drinks in his hand.

"Got you drinks!!" He yelled. Hizashi ran up to you and sat himself down. He handed you a bottle of water and watched as you opened it up and take a sip.

"Are you enjoying this date?" You asked him wanting to get his opinion.

"It's been great," Hizashi admitted. That was something you could get out of him.

"You know after today, I think I can say I want to see you more," You told him. Even if the other day you were unsure how to feel, after today you enjoyed being around him and wanted to bring things further.

"I don't know, while I really enjoyed today and enjoy being with you, it feels wrong," He said. Your volunteering didn't matter anymore, you didn't want to cut him off.

"But I don't think it's wrong, you talk things out like I'm a high schooler when I'm not. Maybe you have other reasons, but I don't want to lose you as my friend too."

Hizashi didn't respond and sat there next to you in silence. It seems like he wasn't going to budge so maybe that mean the date was over. He probably had more reasons to not want to see you anymore, and you had no choice to respect that. Hizashi stood up and you expected that he was going to leave, but he didn't.

"Do you want to come to my place? I've got funny movies to watch and I think that would be a great way to end the date," He smiled. What a way to change you mood. You agreed to it and the two of you left the city to go to his place.

You entered his apartment, it wasn't big, but it was enough for one person to live in. It was a bit messy, but it wasn't that bad. He had empty bottles on his counter and papers unorganized on his table. You took your jacket off and left it on the couch.

"Sorry about the mess, but make yourself at home."

You sat yourself down on the couch in front of the T.V. It took a bit for him to join you, but he offered you a can of beer. You accepted and you guys watched anything you guys found. Hizashi was fun to watch movies with, for the first 20 minutes it was uncomfortable, but then things got comfortable fast. His laugh was enough to get you to start laughing too and his commentary was entertaining. Sometimes he'd jump up and imitate the actors and you would laugh till you cried.

You guys sat up cuddling with each other. The beer calmed your nerves a bit, you weren't too drunk, but just comfortable and so was he. Things were flirty and even though he was saying how he wasn't sure if he wanted to see you anymore because he liked you, that was all behind.

"You know when I was first introduced to you from my school's counselor, my first thought was that you were so damn hot," You laughed.

"I could say the same too, but then I was like 'Nope I have to be professional." You were already scooted up to his arms so there wasn't more you could do. You and Hizashi made eye contact with each other and you pressed your lips against him. It started as a small kiss and slowly turned into a make out session. He had your legs on his lap and his hands at your waist. He soon moved down to your neck leaving you marks as he continues. You let out a moan from the pleasure you were getting.

You had your hands under his shirt slowly lifting it up. His body felt warmer as they moved up his abs. It was interesting, for a man who on the outside looked quite skinny, he had muscles underneath. Hizashi spent too long kissing your face, it was time for you to take over. You took his shirt off, threw it to the ground and pushed him over to where you were on top of him.

"Do you want to continue, I'm it going to force you to do something you don't want," Hizashi asked you.

"For sure," You said. You took off your shirt and he unclipped your bra. You were sitting on his legs and could feel his bulge which caused you to desire him even more. With one hand at his crotch, you went at his jaw giving him hickeys all over him. He let out groans with every action. Soon enough your hands reached down and pulled his pants down. His cock was erect and you were ready to down it. Your tongue swirled around the tip leaving chills in Hizashi's body. The taste of him made you desire more and you continued. Hizashi had his hands stroking your hair and making sure your hair didn't get on your face. He had a relaxed face and let out relaxed moans.

Your position changed and this time he moved himself on top of you before he could cum. His hands trailed down your body giving you a ticklish feel. Realizing you still had your jeans on, Hizashi unbuttoned them and felt your clit through your panties giving them a rub. You were already wet from the excitement and he liked that. His hands got into your panties and had his fingers stroke you.

"Let's move to somewhere better~" You smirked before he could do anymore. Hizashi nodded and lead you to his room. Messy itself, but it was fuckable. He pulled you down onto the bed and got on top of you.

"You sure you wanna continue?" He asked you. His lime colored eyes made deep eye contact with yours.

"Yeah let's do it," You said. Hizashi spread your leg open and put a finger in and you let out a gasp.

"You're already so wet for me," He smirked. He then put a second finger and went for it. You shrieked are how fast he went. His fingers were fast and they hit at where you were pleasured the most. Only at the start and he was this good. It was too early for you to orgasm and so he stopped.

He grabbed a condom and put it on. You laid on your back as he grabbed your legs and put it over his shoulders. Slowly he entered and went slow. The feeling was euphoric, the teacher you were volunteering under was in you. The man you liked was in you and you loved every moment of it. His thrusts were slow, but passionate.

"You like that," He breathed. His pace started getting faster. You but your lip and clenched his sheets to get through it. His nails were dug into your skin as he started going faster and you let out moans as his hips moved in. Hizashi's expression changed from a calm one to a more focused look with his eyebrows furrowed. He was great at sex, and you were pleasured.

"Fuck!" You cussed. He kept going and then turned you over on doggie style. He entered from behind and this time he had his hands around your neck. They sat there, not gripped as tight.His thrusts were faster and you were having so much fun.

"Fuckkkkkk, (Y/N)," He yelled. His thrusts got faster

and it was starting to get painful bit by bit, but you didn't want to stop. The bed squeaked hard and the headboard was hitting the wall. It felt so good in you, you could almost feel yourself reach the climax and he was too. You were more than satisfied. It wasn't long until you finally reached your orgasm. You screamed his name his thrusts started slowing down.

"Shit, I'm gonna cum," Hizashi groaned. He was trying to get the most satisfaction from you and went hard. Soon he pulled out and came and you collapsed on the bed. You were tired from it all and couldn't keep your eyes open as much. Him on the other hand, he was up throwing away his condom.

You laid down on his bed reflecting on what had happened and he joined you. Hizashi stared up to the ceiling, looking wide awake still.

"So tell me something, is there any reason why you told me that you want to stop seeing me, but decided to fuck me today?" You asked him in a sleepy voice. You were up in his arms, refusing to leave.

"You're right," Hizashi sighed. He turned to you and grabbed your hand.

"You selfish bastard," You poked at him. Inside, you were getting sad. You agreed to fuck him and now he was probably going to cut you out.

"Let's continue seeing each other, but I have to tell you, there's a lot of stuff going on so I'm not sure I can put 100 percent into whatever we have," Hizashi admitted.

"Then tell me everything."

He sat up and told you what had been happening in the hero commission, how there was something big coming up and what he found out about his high school friend. You listened to him vent out his feelings and how he wasn't so sure if now was the right time to be seeing anyone, but he knew he couldn't let you go. You held on to him tight, letting him know that you were there for him and you weren't going to leave him. You wanted to stay like this forever.

[ye4gerismarchives]

the bachelorette chp 5, part 2: connie’s proposal

an: hey yall 😛 i'll be posting another q&a before the final elimination chapter comes out. the day after that, i will close the poll, so make good choices! if you wanna change your mind, do it NOW! if you haven't voted, NOW is your chance😁 also, once again, i had to add an extended part to the connie family chapter because the full thing did not upload :( if the extended part helps you change your mind on connie, let me know! also, i really like this chapter because i could properly write a beach story! i went to a beach last week for the very first time and now i won't sound stupid when writing (and i'll never beat around the bush again!) link at the bottom!

tags: fem, black reader

tag list: @taybird

Unlike Jean, Connie did give you an idea of where you were going. He told you to bring some sandals and a light outfit and "not to worry about swimming because I know you don't want to mess up your hair- or makeup". There was a high chance you would be going to the beach where you had your first solo date. It was also the first time you talked about Connie being your husband. He said something about being "wise" about your decision. Now that you think about it, there was a pattern of Connie trying to avoid the fact that you two would have to be in love. You wondered if he'd bring that up again while proposing to you. You wouldn't want to say no to Connie if he did that but the whole friend zone thing is a BIG turnoff (y'all's words, not mine 😉)

But there was a positive side to this maybe? You already knew Connie and he had a higher advantage than Jean. You wouldn't even have to think about building a connection with him because you already had one. But the problem was love. You knew would enter a relationship with Jean, y'all would be lovey-dovey BUT you would need to build a friendship too.

Damn, this was hard. But this would all be over soon. You'd get a big wedding and if you didn't like Connie or Jean, you could move on. It's not like you're signing papers at the televised ceremony.

But anyways 😭 let's starts Connie's date. No time for analysis!

Connie had texted you that he was outside. You grabbed your purse and left the mansion. When you got outside, Connie was leaning on his car, being handsome and all.

"Hey," you greet him. You hold your arms out, hoping for a hug or even a kiss. Connie steps forward leans towards you but his head goes to the side and he's hugging you. Would this guy wait till the possible engagement before getting romantic with you or would the rest of your marriage be like this?

Connie pulls away. "I'm really excited," he says. You want to yell at him right now but the day just started. Maybe he was doing all this to lead you on and make sure you want to fight for him. To be real, this was getting tiring. Connie better be doing something big!

"I'm really excited to see what you have in store for me as well," you reply. Other than seeing Connie's next moves or his proposal, you were excited about the food. You knew Connie could cook, it was in his genes and he did cook for you multiple times throughout the show. As Connie opens the passenger seat for you, you begin to ask him what was on the menu today.

"Well, I've noticed how nauseous you get when under the pressure, so I made egg sandwiches and I packed juices and water. I hope that's alright. When we get engaged, I'll make you a big meal. I promise," Connie says before closing your door.

You thought it was sweet that Connie took note of that. When he got into the driver's seat, you gave him a small smile before opening your mouth. "Thank you, Connie. I really appreciate the fact that you thought about that."

Connie starts the car and begins the drive to the venue. There wasn't much talking done, probably because you would bring up the whole friendship thing. You wanted to get that settled but you also wanted to see what Connie has planned. These two dates weren't just about you saying yes or no but it was a way to see how much Jean and Connie wanted you. If there were problems in the past, they would try and fix them now.

Minutes later you were at the beach (you were right😁). Connie found parking and got out of the car to get the food. You got out on your own. It was weird not having someone rush to your side to open your door. Connie met you on your side of the car and offered you his hand. You can't remember him doing that before (if he has, forgive me yall🧍🏾‍♀️). But his hands felt nice, so you couldn't complain.

The same table from your solo date remained there. "Hey, Connie, just for you, I'll get in the water," you suddenly say. "Huh?! Really?!" he explains. 'Gosh, what a kid,' you think. "You just made this better, y/n! Thank you!" Connie continues. "Just my feet though. I didn't come here to get baptized or anything."

Connie places the picnic basket with all the little things he packed for you. He then proceeds to pull a chair out for you. When you sit, he pulls out one egg sandwich for you. "Juice or water?" Connie asks. "Um, (juice/water)," you reply. He places the drink of your choice in front of you and finally sits down. Connie sets up his food and is ready to dig in until he notices that you haven't touched any of your food.

"Hey...is everything alright? You feel sick?"

You shake your head. "Connie, we need to talk."

Connie sits up slowly. "What's up?"

You liked that Connie was able to see that something was up. This would be useful if you got married.

"How long are you going to friendzone me?"

Connie chokes in his spit. "What?"

"I mean sure we've been lovey-dovey but I still don't feel that romantic connection. If I do say yes to you, I expect us to start acting like a couple. I want you to be my husband, not my friend."

Connie is silent for a minute and then he opens his mouth. "But people who are friends-"

"Oh, shut up. You can be my friend but I want a husband! Please, stop bringing up those statistics and love me!"

You never thought you would be throwing a mini tantrum over a man. Is this who we are? Is this what we represent?

"Come with me," Connie says. You're hesitant to get up until he offers his hand to you. You take it and he pulls you up from the chair.

Connie slowly leads you down the water and you start to freak out mentally. Was he going to drown for telling him off? Connie wasn't that crazy right?

As you walked, you felt yourself slipping out of your shoes. The sand didn't hesitate to fill in the gaps of your toes and tickle your feet. The further you went, the deeper you were. Connie was just walking like it was nothing. You reached the water and Connie came to a stop. For a moment, he stared out into the ocean. You just stared at your feet. The waves pushed the water on your feet causing you to sink more into the sand. This was the world. You were on the edge. You weren't going to live for long, so you had to make the best of it.

"y/n, I hear your cries for love and I'm willing to give it to you. Marry me. I'll work on myself and you'll work on yourself. I promise you, I'll do anything to grow old with you."

Connie’s ring didn’t come in a box. He just pulled it out from his pocket. It was a diamond covered band with a halo shaped sapphire right in the middle.

damn, wonder who y’all gonna choose🤒 LINK

if you’re curious about how these rings look like, here:

connie (left) jean (right , however, his doesn’t match the description i wrote😒)

also, sorry for the white hand. i took a buzzfeed quiz

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Seventy-Four [Pt. 1]

Words: 3k

Warning(s): explicit language, drug abuse

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I exhale, turning to look at Nikki where he's laying beside me, a sickly pale tone to his skin, his black hair tangled, his hand that is clinging to mine, covered in tracks, the same appearance as his other hand. 

I can't help but wonder if I bathed him if he'd wake up. He reeks, and he's rough looking, only adding to my guilt. 

Fred gave him a sleeping pill to ease him off of his coke high--he's been freebasing again, just cooking it up in the room's microwave. 

I don't know what the hell to do about him. 

I wish I did. 

Turning over to face him, I brush his bangs out of his eyes, my fingertips lightly dusting over his cheeks, dark circles under his eyes. 

They were supposed to play tonight, but said Nikki came down with the flu and added the show to the second round of U.S. tours lined up for early next year. 

The Nikki I knew would have never put drugs over his music, his fans, and especially not his relationship. 

But, the Nikki I knew also wouldn't have cheated on me…

It's been hard to accept the fact that the Nikki I fell in love with six years ago, isn't around anymore. 

1981

I finish getting my church dress back on, grinning at Nikki as he gets his pants laced back up, the both of us glancing at each other in the back of my car. 

"What's mommy and daddy gonna say when I send their girl back home all turned out?" He asks me, smugly, and I put my heels back on, scoffing. 

"Gee, just come home with me and find out." I shrug. 

"I'll pass." He mumbles, pulling his shirt over his head. 

"Oh, c'mon, I'm sure they'd love you." I nudge him with my elbow. 

"Your mom would piss her granny-panties." He argues, wrinkling his nose a little and I just blink at him. 

"Maybe...but I'm pretty sure my dad would like you." I inform him. 

"Like hell he does." He says to himself and I just let out a breath. 

"So…" I say after a few seconds of silence and he nods a little, awkward tension filling the air around us. 

"...Well." He lets out in the same tone. 

"Good freaking night." I go to open the car door, irritated that he doesn't offer up to hangout and do stuff other than fool around, slamming the door shut.

"Hey, what's up?" He asks me, getting out next, standing by the driver's door, blocking my way. 

"Nothing. I'll see you later." I mumble, nudging him out of my way, opening my door but he's quickly shutting it before I can. 

"Viv, what's--" 

"--I'm gonna start charging you to sleep with me." I state blatantly and his hazel eyes widen, a shit eating smirk on his lips as he chuckles out, "what?" 

"You'd think since we have sex with each other so often it'd at least make us friends, but all you wanna do when we hangout is screw around and then go do whatever with the guys." I tell him. "And, no, this isn't me being a 'typical girl' and developing feelings for you just because we've had sex. It's me being tired of feeling like I'm just being used to get you off." 

"I'm being used to get you off so it's a win-win, is it not?" 

"You sound like Vince." I snap. "All that's happening is I screw you, you screw me, we leave, and don't talk until we're both horny again." 

"Is that not how this works?" 

"The least we can do is get food afterwards or something." I suggest. 

"...Like a date?" 

I gag at the thought. 

"Ew, no." I tell him and he looks confused. "Like, um...I don't know. But since I don't hate you enough to not hook up with you, anymore, I think we could at least get to know who we're hooking up with a little better."

"Friends with benefits?" He clarifies. 

"No, no, we're not friends." I point out and he let me get in my car. 

"I'll see you tomorrow night?" He throws out and I nod. "Wear something pretty--we're going to McDonald's." He smugly smiles and I roll my eyes, holding back a laugh. 

I'm shaking the memory away when there's a knock at the door and I slowly get out of bed, trying not to wake Nikki, slipping my hand from his as my feet hit the hotel carpet. 

I open the door, seeing Mick.

"They wanted us to go ahead and start getting our stuff together to leave." He informs me. "Apparently Guns has some solo shows at some clubs nearby so they're staying behind and we'll back up with them tomorrow night." He informs me and I nod, smiling softly, before he lets out a small breath. "I know you're hurt, and you've got every right to be, but would it not make more sense to file for divorce before you move on, as opposed to moving on before you even really know if you're gonna leave or not?" He asks next, under his breath so Nikki has no way of hearing it. 

"Ask your married girlfriend that before you come at me with it, Mick, alright?" I ask him neutrally, shutting the door in his face before stepping back to the bed, hesitant to wake Nikki up but doing it anyway so we won't be late. 

I wasn't shocked when Mick let on that he knew about Duff and I because, like with me and Nikki, he just knew when something was up.

Looking back, Mick had a point, but at that time he was the last person I wanted to hear it from, because Emi wasn't estranged from her husband, or even on bad terms with him. She was just cheating for whatever reason while her husband stayed in the blissful dark. Mick was "the other woman" therefore he had no place to speak to me about my relationship with Duff.

"Nikki, get up, we gotta get packed." I gently shake him and he groans out. 

"Baby, let me sleep." He mumbles, eyes squeezed closed, face scrunching slightly for a second. 

"We gotta be in L.A. in seven hours, c'mon." I nudge at him again, and his red eyes open, disgruntled, taking a moment before sitting up.

"I did it again last night?" He asks me, rubbing the crust from his eyes as I slip my slippers on. 

"Yep."

"Are they pissed?" 

"They're worried." I inform him. "I'm worried, too." I add, stepping to the door. 

"I'm fine." He says after me.

"Glad to hear it." I open the door, taking a moment to add, "and I'm not 'baby' to you anymore," before leaving. 

I get to my room and get my things packed, being interrupted by a knock at the door. 

When I get it open, Duff is on the other side, wearing nothing but his underwear. 

"I think I left my necklace in here." He tells me and I step aside, watching him grab it from the bedside table before he turns to me and says, "so, you guys are leaving tonight?" He asks me.

"Yeah." I nod. "Gotta go watch Vince walk down the aisle." 

He chuckles and I do, too, realizing how ironic the reality of it is. 

"...Is, um...Nikki okay?" He cautiously questions.

"Yeah." I nod. "I'm sorry I didn't go back to your room last night, I just thought it'd be best if he eased off before I went to bed and then I accidentally fell asleep before I could leave so…" 

"No, no, Viv, it's fine. You still care about him, even though he's shitty sometimes he's still the guy you've been with for the past six years. I'm not upset that you're making sure he's okay." He nods reassuringly. 

Before I can say "okay", there's another knock at my door, and I step to it and open it, Tommy and Vince waiting for me. 

"Ya ready?" Tommy asks, him and Vince both wearing sunglasses. 

"Yeah." I reply, going to zip my suitcase, Tommy following in after me to grab it, taking a double take when he notices Duff. 

"Hey, man."

"Hey." Duff replies, rubbing the back of his neck, before looking to Vince. "Vinnie, you ready to walk down that aisle?" He asks him with a smile.

"Yeah, just so Sharise will stop bitching about wedding details." He responds with a groan in his tone and Duff chuckles. "But her and Skylar are coming back with me for a honeymoon so just be on your best behavior--not that you aren't most times." He adds. 

"Nah, I'll give Slash and Stevie the heads up, though." He assures him. 

"Thanks, dude." Vince says back.

"Alright, see you when we get back." Tommy says, patting at Duff's shoulder. 

"See ya." Duff says to them as they head out. 

"I gotta pee and I'll be down." I lie.

Vince looks at me, oddly, with a small bit of hesitance before he shuts the door and I rub my lips and look at Duff, fumbling with my fingers. 

"You're not breaking up with me already, are you?" He repeats what I asked him before and I smile and shake my head.

"No, no." I grab his hand and tug him closer to me and he kisses my hair, wrapping his arms around me, tightly, and I rest my cheek against his skin. 

"Just have a safe flight, try not to kill anyone." He tells me and I nod.

"I love you." I tell him, looking up at him. 

"I love you, too." He leans down and kisses me, pulling away too soon. "I'll see you tomorrow night."

"See you tomorrow night." I agree, taking a mental picture of his soft grin.

The next day was spent scrambling to keep everyone together--especially Nikki--because Sharise deserved one day to be with Vince without a fight...little did I know the only fight that would occur would be between Vince and I, and not him and Nikki, like I feared.

"Okay," I straighten her veil, examining her dress one last time as she hands me my bouquet, "you look beautiful, Sharise." I assure her and she continues nitpicking possible flaws in the mirror. 

"I know we're already married so this is just a vow renewal or whatever but I'm nervous." She admits to me, fanning at herself a little. 

"There's no reason to be." I tell her. 

"Where's Sky?" 

"With your parents." 

"Where's Tansy?" 

"Getting her dress on." 

"Where's Nikki?"

"In the bathroom." 

"In the bathroom or shooting up?" 

"In the bathroom. Tommy's on smack watch." 

"Okay." She lets out a breath, trying to calm down. "Vince...is he--"

"He's ready to walk when you are." As I say this, the door opens and Nikki and Tansy come in.

"Sharise, the wedding party's waiting for you." Tansy tells her a little shakily. 

I think she's beginning to withdrawal. 

"Alright. Okay." Sharise inhales and exhales. 

"You got this." I promise her. 

"You're right." She nods and I help her with her dress as she heads to the door. 

Nikki, Tommy, Mick, and a couple other guys I've never met that are good friends of Sharise and Vince are wearing their tuxes with a hot pink sash, to match the bridesmaids knee length, hot pink dresses with black tull underlying the skirt. 

We file into line, Nikki and getting in front of Sharise since she's appointed me with Matron of honor. 

"You showered." I mumble to Nikki, impressed. 

"Tommy threatened to spray me off with a water hose. I didn't feel like being cold." He mumbles and I scoff as the music starts, the doors opening to lead outside, where we have to walk down stone stairs to meet in a spacious courtyard. 

"I'm getting war flashbacks." He says next once it's our turn to start walking. 

"From our wedding, yeah, me freaking too." I reply in a hiss. 

"I was gonna say from Tommy's wedding but sure." He scoffs bitterly. 

"Just don't leave this one every fifteen minutes to slip into the bathroom and shoot up." I ignore his comment, the arm that my hand is looped through tenses up and I can feel him glaring at me through his sunglasses. 

"Don't be a fucking bitch." He tells me as we step down the stairs and approach the guests, seeing Vince and the other groomsmen and bridesmaids waiting for us. 

"Little late for that." I point out. 

"And our wedding wasn't even that bad, Viv." He randomly cuts back to our initial back and forth and I fake a smile for the crowd, speaking through my teeth to reply, "Wish I could say the same for the months to follow it." 

We separate at the alter, and I push my feelings aside when I look to see Sharise stepping down the stairs, looking stunning as ever. 

When she gets down here, I'm straightening the back of her dress as she takes Vince's hands. 

The ceremony doesn't take very long, and once the reception comes and all the pictures are done with being taken, I'm ready to get out of this dress--but it's not ready for me to get out of it.

I grind my teeth, dreading asking this bastard for help, but I know he's got his knife and the zipper of my dress is stuck. 

"Nikki," I tap at his shoulder as he downs another glass of wine. 

"What?" He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. 

"Can you help me get out of this dress?" I ask him and he suddenly bursts into laughter. 

"I'd rather fuck a pot of boiling hot oil than fuck you." He tells me. 

"No, asshole, I mean literally help me get this off because the zipper is stuck." I explain. 

"Oh." He says, turning me to look at it. "Yeah, I guess." He stands up and I head to the bathroom as he pulls his pocket knife from his pocket.

Once we get to the bathroom, I'm pulling my arms from the sleeves the best I can before I look at him. 

"Just go to sawing away here." I point to the seam that's three-fourths zipped. 

He starts cutting at it, and it soon gets looser and looser to the point there should be plenty of room to finish pushing it down my hips...and I would if his hands weren't steadily holding at my bare sides, his eyes on my back as I look at him in the mirror and wait for him to snap back into reality. 

He never does, and I'm forced to clear my throat to whisk the tension away. 

"Um, I got it from here." I tell him, hinting that his hands on my skin aren't needed.

He just looks at me in the mirror and holds at them tighter, making me go to hit at the tops of his hands, only I realize this is one of the few moments he probably finds peace in because he can pretend, even for a second, that everything isn't screwed sideways. 

I just rest my palms over his hands, making eye contact with him in the mirror, looking us over, and I smile sadly, realizing we won't ever be those people again. 

After his moment is finished, he's gently patting my sides before taking a step back and putting his knife back into his pocket. 

"Thanks, again." I say to him before he goes. "No problem." He mumbles, stepping out. 

I rush back to the bridal suite to avoid being seen half naked, to change into a more comfortable dress.

As soon as I shut the door, I turn around and see Vince nursing a beer, and I jump. 

"Jesus, Vince!" I snap at him, taking a deep breath and he rolls his eyes for a second. "What the hell are you doing here?" I ask him, peeling the dress down my legs, not caring that he's getting an eyeful of me in nothing but skimpy panties since he's seen me completely naked in the pictures of me that Nikki's shown off to him. 

"Hiding from my in laws." He replies, taking another sip of beer. 

"You're not supposed to be drinking." I remind him.

"Who's gonna tell them?" He asks me, raising his brows. 

"Doesn't matter if the state doesn't know--God knows. That's who you'll have to answer to in the end." 

"Oh-Oh, my fuck." He chuckles out, his tongue swiping the inside of his bottom lip. 

"What? You think standing before God and being confronted with the fact you're still drinking after killing your friend in a drunk driving accident is funny?" I hiss at him.

 "I think the bible warns against becoming a drunkard but doesn't it also say, "you must not commit adultery'?" 

My heart pounds in my chest, my eyes wide, and he stands up from his spot on the fluffy parlor chair. 

"So you can give me shit about killing Razzle and still drinking, but every time the sweat on Duff's back dries after he's done fucking you, it's just another nail being hammered into Nikki's coffin, once he finds out." He says, pointing at me with the hand holding at his bottle. "And that blood's gonna be on your hands." He adds. "Not mine." 

[waywardscorpio]

Title: His Queen And Her King

Tag list: @scuzmunkie @braunstrowmangirl @callmekda @luna-obscura @phoenixoffiretwo

Chapter One

Warnings; Smut, Swearing, Blood Drinking, Breeding Kink, Spanking and Daddy Kink.

Two Months Later after Y/N and Jeff mated.

*Y/N's POV*

I was in the locker room with Jeff, while he was getting ready for his and Matt's, match against, The Bar. "Baby you okay?" He asks me as I was lost in my thoughts again. "Oh umm.. yeah just thinking is all." I said to him. "What're you thinking 'bout, baby?" He asks me as he turns his head to look at me.

"I was thinking about a movie date tonight with you and Chinese food or pizza." I replied softly looking at him. "Mmm that's sounds like the perfect date to me." Jeff replies. I smile as I kiss him softly. "Good. Since we have the next couple of nights off after tonight, I was wondering... Can we take a road trip? Just me and you and the open road?" I asked him as i looked up at my multicolored hair, boyfriend. "Yes, Baby. Where would you like to go to?" He asks me as he looks down at me. "How about going to (P/S)?" <P/S= Pick State>. I said to him. "Yes." He replied. I smiled and kiss him softly. "I love you, Baby" He whispers. "I love you, Babe." I replied back to him. I had fallen deeply in love with Jeff.

"Five minutes." A worker said to Jeff, so he would go to the gorilla pin. I stood up fixing my clothes and follow him out. Matt was there waiting for us. "Hey are you two okay?" Matt asked his brother. "Yeah. Why?" I asked. "Because your eyes and my brothers eyes are different colors. did you two mate?" Matt asked looking. "Yes, we did." Jeff said to his brother. "Oh thank heavens finally you two got together." Matt said to his brother as he laughs a little. "I was wondering when you two were going to finally get together" He adds as he looks between his brother and I.

Matt and Jeff's song came on and we walked out. My neck was on clear view for everyone to see I have been claimed as Jeff's. The crowd was cheering and hollering. "Baby are you ready for this?" I asked Jeff, as I looked at him. "Yes, babe. I'm ready to show everyone who is mine." He said to me. I smile looking at him for a second and take his hand. "I'll always be yours Baby" I said to him. "Good. I'll always be yours too." Jeff said smiling at me softly. We walked to the ring hoping into the ring. Jeff grabs a mic "Myself and Y/N, have an announcement to make as soon as our match is over with tonight." Jeff said. I haven't told anyone I was pregnant, besides my mom and dad and Jeff told Matt. I didn't tell anyone else in my family or friends, because I wanted it to be a surprise for my family and friends. Edge and Christian, came out with Lita. Lita, stayed outside of the ring as did I.

The match carried on into the back with Jeff and Edge beating each other, Matt and Christian punching each other. I had followed up the ramp behind Lita. I looked for Jeff. I find him and Edge slugging at each other. "Come on, Jeff. Baby you can do this." I said cheering him on. Jeff was on the ground beaten, bloody and hurt. Edge turned his gaze to me and I whimpered backing away. Edge ran at me to spear me but I was pushed to the side by Triple H (Y/N's, Dad) and he took the blow. I hear my mom (Stephanie) screaming at Edge for trying to go after me. "Are you okay?" She said using herself as a Shield. "Yes." I answered her. "You need to get away from this fight." She said and pulled me down the hall out of the middle of the fight as we watched on. When Triple H got back up he told the referee to go that he would referee the match. After ten more minutes of back and forth fighting, Jeff hit Christian with the twist of fate and wins. I walk quickly to him and jump in his arms kissing him. "You did it." I said happy. Jeff, looks into a camera as he pulled me close. "Alright ladies and gents. It is time for the news. The reason Y/N, has been wrestling lately or the past two months to be exact isn't due to an injury. I'm happy to announce, as is Y/N, my beautiful mate. That we are expecting our first baby." Jeff said smiling from ear to ear. I smiled as well rubbing my baby belly. The crowd screams and cheers.

After we told the whole world the news we went to the locker room to change and get ready to go get food.

The next day Jeff and I, started off on our little road trip we planned. As we were driving I looked at Jeff, smiling as I watch him drive. "Baby?" I said. "Yes, Kitten?" He said calling me by my nickname. "I love you, to the moon and back." I said softly. "I love you, always and forever." He said smiling at me and then paying attention to the road again.

"Are we almost to the hotel?" I asked softly as I looked at him "yes, Babe." He replies. "Why?" He adds. "I'm hungry and a little tired." I said. "What would my Kitten, and my unborn peanut like to eat?" Jeff asks laying a gentle touch on my belly. "Chinese food and cake" I replied. He nods as he pulls off the exit to the hotel. We get checked in and order food and cake. As I was waiting patiently for the food I got in the shower. Jeff had showered first while I was on the phone and getting our clothes out. While I was showering the food had came. I came out the shower a few more minutes later after the food came. "Foods nice and hot still, Babe." Jeff said. I sat in his lap as we eat our food. I took a picture of us and saved it to my phone screen.

"God Babe, I swear I'm the luckiest man in the world." Jeff said. "An I'm the luckiest woman in the world." I replied to what he said smiling. I held his hand "Baby?" I said softly. "Yes, Babe?" He said looking at me. "What if someone else tries to go after me or causes me to fall on my stomach?" I asked afraid. "As long as I am still alive, ain't nobody going to lay a finger on you Baby Girl." Jeff said his eyes changing color cause he is getting worked up. I straddled his lap, while I looked him in the eyes rubbing his chest soothingly. "Relax. I'm here Baby." I kissed his neck softly "Are you thirsty?" I asked him. "I am. I'm not drinking from you." He said. "You won't hurt us, Jeff. You still need blood to survive." I said to him. But he wasn't having it. "No, Y/N. I ain't risking yours or our unborn baby's life." He said firmly. I knew the only way to get him to drink was to get him into a sexual mood.

I stood up and walked over to the bed after turning the lights out. "Daddy mmmmm." I moaned out as I touched myself in way I shouldn't be without asking Daddy Jeff, for permission first. I knew Jeff can see in the dark. Jeff, snarls and moves swiftly to the bed in less than a second. He was naked from literally ripping his clothes off into pieces. He swatted my hands away as he firmly but carefully swatted my core causing me to moan. "Princess, what did I tell you about touching yourself?" Jeff said hovering over me. "Not to without permission, from you Daddy." I bite my lip. "Now Princess, you know better than to break that sacred rule." Jeff said dangerously close. Our lips mere inches from each others. My eyes trained on Jeff, as I bite my bottom lip. "I'm sorry, Daddy. I won't do it again." I said closing the gape between our lips and kissing him. Jeff kisses back for a second before pulling away and biting into my neck drinking which only turned me on more. "Daddy!" I moaned out. He pulls away painting with a little of my blood dripping down his chin. "Fuck Princess, you got me so, hard." Jeff said as he spreads my legs and pushed in his cock in one swift movement. I arched my back moaning. "Fuck Daddy, you're so, big. Jeff started to thrust in and out faster and faster but he was careful at the same time.

"Oh fuck, Daddy." I moaned as he kept his pace fast and gentle. I bit my lip as I looked up at him and kissing him again. "Princess, you like when Daddy, fucks you good? Want Daddy to put another Baby inside your womb?" Jeff whispers against my lips. "OH yes, Daddy. I want to have all you babies. I'm only yours." I said mewling as he reached between our bodies rubbing my clit at a fast pace. "Oh fu-f-fu-fuck. I'm going to cum. Shit. I'm cumming." I moaned out tightening around his dick and coming hard around him. He thrusts a few more times before pushing all the way in. Both of us not knowing that his tip had latched onto the entrance of my womb because we had fallen asleep before he pulled out. Me not knowing I was a rare type of Omega, especially me being a human at that. While Jeff, and myself was asleep he cock was still pumping cum into my womb. I was awaken in the morning by Jeff, pulling his cock out causing a whine to slip from my lips. "Shhh, Babe, you're okay." He said kissing the top of my head. "Baby, I'm hungry." I said softly. "Let's shower first Babe." He said as I nodded agreeing with him. I sat up as he walked into the bathroom. I looked at the bed sheets between my legs confused because no, cum had slipped out when Jeff, pulled out. What I, myself didn't know his cock latched to my womb last night and his sperm mixed with another egg. I shrugged it off thinking it was gonna come out in the shower or when i stood up. I walked into the bathroom with Jeff, as he was shaving his face to clean up some of the edges around the spots he is gonna leave as he always did.

I smile watching him. "I'll start the shower" He mumbles an 'Okay.' I looked at him and seen the look of he wasn't happy with me and I knew why. "Baby?" I said softly. "What, Babe?" He said shortly. "Are you mad?" I asked him. "Yes. I told you I didn't wanna drink from you while you're baring our child." He snaps. I jumped back a little. "Jeff, you know what happens when you don't. We're okay. You didn't hurt us." I said looking at him. "I could've. I wouldn't ever forgive myself if...." He trailed off rubbing his face shaking the what ifs off not wanting to even think about it. Jeff, looks at me seeing I was crying when he heard my sniffles. "Baby, come here." He said to me as he looks at me. I walked over to him slowly and stood in front of him. "I'm sorry. I just don't wanna lose you and our baby." Jeff said to me as he wipes the tears from my eyes. "I trust you Jeff. I wouldn't of offered for you to drink from me if I didn't." I said to him. "I know. I just don't wanna drink from you and not be able to stop." He said. "I stop you if I think you're taking to much." I said softly. "And if I don't stop?" He said. "You will." I said firmly as I kiss him softly before pulling him into the shower.

[queen-of-songs]

The Accidental Crush of Sansa Stark and the recurring annoyance that followed- Chapter 2 pt.1

"Sansa? If you could date any boy counselors here, who would you date?" Shireen, an adorable little camper asked as she walked all of them to canoeing. Sansa paused. Was her developing attraction that obvious? One of the golden staff rules was that there were to be no summer romances or if there was one, to be discreet to the point leadership didn't have any suspicions.

"She'd date Harry of course! Have you seen the way he looks at her?!" Beth giggled. "They would be like Ariel and...Philip!"

"Philip is Aurora's prince, Beth. Ariel's prince is Eric remember?" Alys shook her head at Beth. "I think Sansa would be happiest with Sam!"

"Sam likes Gilly, he blushes every time he's around her," Osha spoke up and the girls around her nodded in agreement.

"Sansa should go out with Dickon, he's so handsome!" Minisa sighed dreamily while Lyanna rolled her eyes.

"Can't you all see Sansa likes...." Lyanna began before Sansa interrupted her. "Girls, I appreciate you all comparing me to a Disney princess and wishing for my happiness. But I assure you, I don't feel that way toward anyone here."

Most of the girls seemed convinced by her little white lie and forgot about their question within seconds. All except for Lyanna. Lyanna stood behind while the other girls went down to the canoeing river. She tilted her head at Sansa in curiosity and Sansa took a deep breath.

"What is it Lyanna?"

"I saw you look at Jon at the pool yesterday."

"Lyanna, I had sunglasses on. I was looking at everyone in the pool." Sansa scoffed, hoping the defiant little camper would drop it. But Lyanna raised her chin with a sly smile on her face.

"Maybe that's true. But I saw you look at him a couple of times today at breakfast and you didn't have sunglasses then. You get a big smile on your face when he's around like the Disney princesses do."

Perhaps I should tone it down a bit.

Sansa took a moment to collect herself and sighed. "Lyanna, Jon is my coworker and friend. I smile when I see all my coworkers..."

"It's different with Jon. That's the way my mom looked at my dad before he died." Lyanna sadly smiled and quickly ran off to join her fellow campers, while Sansa stood in silence.

——————————-

"Girls, can I ask you something?" Sansa asked as she turned up the volume to skype her friends during break time. Margaery was in the process of making an anniversary gift for Theon, Dany was painting her nails so they could be ready for her date night with Daario, Missandei was painting a portrait for Grey, and Brienne was ordering a knife for Jaime's birthday.

"Sure, Sansa!" They all sang in unison.

"Am I being too obvious if one of my campers can tell who I am attracted to?" Sansa spoke quickly, hoping they missed it. But judging by how they were all looking at each other as if they were in the Brady Bunch credits, they did.

"OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Missandei shouted.

"I bet it's Harry! Margaery surmised.

"I think it's Dickon. Did you see the pics Sansa posted that tagged him in? They'd be absolutely perfect together!" Dany sighed happily.

"Well, are you going to tell us who it is?" Brienne rose an eyebrow.

"It's the guy I told you all about that pissed me off a few weeks ago. We've patched things up and he's really...cool." Sansa blushed and saw their collective smiles.

"You never told us Mr. Broody's name, what is it?" Margaery inquired.

"His name is Jon, Jon Snow," Sansa responded, and immediately Dany spat out her drink. "Jon Snow?! You like him?!"

"Yeah. Do you know him Dany?" Sansa asked, confused out of her mind.

"He's my nephew," Dany responded and Margaery's eyes widened. "Dany, how on earth do you have a nephew the same age as you?"

"Remember my older brother Rhaegar? Jon is his whoops kid after he had an affair while Elia was in a coma." Dany shrugged.

"Oh yeah! But you've never mentioned him before, why is that?" Missandei asked in curiosity.

"I didn't know he existed until he came to live with Rhaegar and Elia four years ago. He's hasn't been around much because he was either going to school or working at camp." Dany answered and Brienne leaned forward. "Dany, what were you going to add about Jon earlier when Sansa mentioned that she liked him?"

"He's a great guy...but Sansa, he has a girlfriend. Her name is Lysa Tully. He's been dating her for years. I am truly sorry, Sansa." Dany's face was full of sadness.

"Dany, don't be sorry! I'm glad you told me before I made a fool of myself. Now I can be more cognizant of my actions." Sansa put her hands in a heart shape and Dany laughed as she responded with heart hands back.

"But damn, I wish it were different. It would be so cool to have you as my sis...niece in law. Seven hells, that's so weird...."Dany began before all the girls cackled in unison.

Before long, Margaery narrowed her eyes. That typically meant she was vying for information. "Dany, give us the deets on Lysa."

"My brother and Elia think she's a character," Dany grimaced.

"That sounds like how my grandmother would describe Mr. Baelish and Mr.Varys," Margaery hummed.

"Rhaenys tolerates her and Aegon can't stand to be in the same room as her. My experience made me want to slap her, honestly."

"What happened?" Brienne inquired and Dany sighed. "She made Daario feel uncomfortable because he's not from "here," whatever "here" is supposed to mean."

"Oh. She's one of those types of people... ew does that mean Jon is as well???" Missandei rose an eyebrow.

"No, not by a long shot. Jon is super passionate about social issues and has always been involved in some way or another. He and Lysa got into an argument after she made Daario feel uncomfortable. She ended up apologizing, though I didn't think it was truly genuine. I think it was only to show Jon that she was "improving." Dany shrugged, while Brienne, Margaery, and Missandei collectively sighed. Sansa bit the inside of her cheek.

Of course, he has a girlfriend. He's good looking and has a kind soul. Who was I kidding? Well, maybe I can try to be his friend at least. Yes. That's what I'll do and my feelings will go away. They have before and they will now.

After making her decision, Sansa spoke up.

"Well ladies, enough about me and my sad crush life. Tell me about all your individual plans with your guys!!!!!!"

———————————-

"Sansa, you should go! I'm sure it'll be loads of fun!" Her co-counselor Mya exclaimed.

The leadership team decided last minute to have counselor late-night swim and Sansa internally debated if she really wanted to go.

If I am trying to friendzone my crush, shouldn't I try to limit the times I see him wet and shirtless?

"I'm really tired, Mya. I just want to take a hot shower, it's been a really long day."

It wasn't necessarily a bad excuse. It had been a long day. It hadn't even been five minutes after Sansa ended her skype call with her friends when she heard Dickon radio for her help. Two of the girls got into a fight during canoeing and poor Beth cried the entire time after she fell backward in the river. The next skill area didn't fare well either after Minisa got bit by a brown recluse and had to go to the hospital. Then later in the day, the porch swing broke off at the merchandise store and Lyanna sprained her ankle. Sansa had gotten well acquainted with nurse Thoros. Because she worked so well with the little ones, she typically made calls throughout the week but never this many in one week.

"That's true but Sansa, you've been such a trooper today. You deserve a break." Mya reasoned.

"You were there too, Mya. I wouldn't have survived today without you, honestly. In fact, why don't you go tonight and I'll go tomorrow?" Sansa responded.

"Are you sure, Sansa?"

"Absolutely."

"Aww thanks, Sansa." Mya smiled and hugged Sansa tight for a few seconds before going to her room in the cabin to get a bathing suit.

"Oh by the way Mya, I'd wear the blue one. Harry blushes a little when you wear it." Sansa looked at her nails while Mya's mouth slightly dropped.

"How did you know?! I thought I was hiding it well."

"You are! I'm the only one who can really tell because I'm a big sucker for enemies to lovers so I can tell by the little things."

"...Harry blushed a little when I wore it last?"

"Yeah and I'm pretty sure he was going to say something before one of his campers jumped in the pool with his stuffed kittens." Sansa and Mya began chuckling as they remembered the sweet little boy who wanted to prove cats weren't afraid of water.

"Well thank you for the heads up, Sansa." Mya began to leave before leaning back in the doorway. "Should I wear my braids up or down?"

"Do whatever makes you feel confident."

"I'm going to wear them down. Harry Hardyng, here I come." Mya sang as she left the cabin into the hall to go change.

"Sansa?" a soft whisper woke her up and she could see Mya's outline by the bed. Sansa rose up on her elbow and she could tell Mya wanted to talk out in the hall. She followed her out quietly and then sat against the wall.

"Mya, how was it?" Sansa rose an eyebrow and a deep blush appeared on Mya's brown skin.

"It was wonderful. We... we kissed under the water. It was magical." Mya sighed happily and Sansa's heart leaped with joy.

"Did anyone see you two?"

"Surprisingly and thankfully, no. Everyone was distracted by Sam and Gilly. He finally asked her out!"

"Sounds like a good night for everyone it seems." Sansa smiled and closed her eyes for just a moment before Mya spoke up.

"Do you like anyone Sansa?" Sansa opened her eyes to see Mya have an eyebrow raised.

"Erm... not really." Sansa lied and Mya scoffed as she began redoing her braids.

"Are you sure? Because I'm pretty sure I saw you staring at your former pool duty partner a bit the other day. Is that why you switched?"

"For one, for some reason, I thought Jon was going tonight before I remembered he and Harry are co's this week. Two, it doesn't matter how I feel."

"Why doesn't it matter, Sansa?"

"Because he has a girlfriend." Sansa's voice cracked a little and Mya's face filled with sorrow.

"I'm sorry I brought it up, Sansa."

"It's okay."

"What's your game plan?"

"My game plan? I want to become his friend and try to friendzone him."

"Friendzone your crush, hmm. I've never heard of that before. How are you going to do it?"

"Ask him about his girlfriend, what he likes, try to steer from anything super personal, keep a healthy distance, and....I'll talk about guys I find attractive."

"Besides Jon, who else would you want to go on a date with at camp?"

"Not really." Sansa shrugged.

"Any guys back home?"

"Um sort of I guess? If you count teammates/friends Robb brings home during breaks. His is name is Pyp. He's really cool and kind." Sansa smiled.

"Ooh tell me more!" Mya rested her face on her hands as the girls did during storytime before bed.

"He's majoring in Civil Engineering. He plays left wing on the hockey team at White Harbor, he's pretty good. I wouldn't be surprised if he was drafted in the WHL. He's pretty funny and a movie buff."

"Why didn't you go on a date with him then?"

"I was scared after everything that went down with Waymar, that I was a little hesitant to date."

"What did happen with Waymar?" Mya questioned.

"I made a fool out myself for him. I wore different clothes, dyed my hair black, and I even started going by my middle name to seem "cooler" to him. I..." Sansa shuddered. "I gave him special favors in the hopes, he just so he'd finally see me. One day, he texted me to meet up with him at his house and I went over thinking that he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend. I got there and the door was wide open. I thought it was a bit strange and I went in, worried if Waymar was okay when I heard noises coming from his bedroom. I opened the door and caught him having sex with my former best friend Myranda. I closed the door and ran down the stairs. Waymar and Myranda came down right before I left. Waymar forgot he texted me and tried to apologize while Myranda just smirked at me. I asked her 'How could you?' and she said 'You're the biggest fool to ever think you had a shot with Waymar and I only became friends with you to get to him along with your money. Who would anyone ever want to date someone like you? You're a stupid and ugly little girl. Oh, you're crying now. How sad? No one's ever had the guts to tell you that? You're sasquatch with no curves or boobs."

Sansa looked down at the crown, while hot tears streamed down her face. Mya gathered her in her arms as Sansa sobbed.

"You know what Myranda said about you isn't true right? You're beautiful on the inside and out. Hell, I wish I was as tall and skinny as you." Mya whispered while Sansa shook her head.

"Mya, you're beautiful."

"So are you! Being tall sounds great, I don't like always having to crane my neck to look at Harry when we're bantering. The pool is probably one of the few kisses where he won't have to practically bend down to kiss me. Don't get me started on being curvy and having to find jeans that don't feel like they're not suffocating my thighs and butt while having a huge awkward gap in the back." Mya ranted. "Don't be hard on yourself, Sansa. You're amazing, you need to believe that. The girls love you, I love you, your other friends and family love you, and everyone at camp does. You need to love yourself."

"Thank you, Mya. You're right, I do need to work on loving myself." Sansa smiled.

"That's the spirit!" Mya high fived her and then they heard the door open from Mya's room to see Beth's face full of tears.

"What's wrong Beth? Did you have a nightmare?" Mya asked, her voice full of concern.

"No, I..." Beth's lip wobbled. "Miss Mya, I woke up and I realized I don't have any more underwear for the rest of the week."

"How many did you bring Beth?" Sansa asked as Beth sat down in between her and Mya.

"My brother packed me six."

Only six for Sunday through Friday? I'd pack at least twelve or fourteen... Wait! It's only Tuesday?!

"But it's only Tuesday Beth, how did you go through six?" Mya's eyes widened.

"I... I peed myself a bit on Sunday when I was waiting for the bathroom after I took my shower, so I had to change. Monday, I got my unicorn undies wet from the shower after I dropped them. I asked Lyanna to get some out of my bag. Today, after I fell in the water I got scared I was going to get leeches so I changed into my last pair. I just keep getting bad luck!" Beth started to tear up and an idea popped up in Sansa's mind.

"Beth, are all your dirty clothes in a bag?" Sansa asked.

Beth nodded and Sansa sighed in relief.

"Okay, I'm going to wash all of your dirty clothes in the washer and you'll have your five pairs clean again."

"Won't people judge me for re-wearing the same undies again?"

"No, it's none of their business and besides sometimes I wear the same undies when I don't take a shower for a day if I didn't sweat." Sansa shrugged.

"Same." Mya agreed and Beth looked at the both of them in amazement.

"Thank you so much, Miss Sansa and Miss Mya!" Beth hugged them both and went back into Mya's room.

"What. A. Night," Mya exclaimed and Sansa couldn't help but agree.

"Drinking coffee right before lunch?" Jon asked as Sansa filled her coffee mug.

"Yep. I'm exhausted, I had to wash one of my girls' clothes because she didn't pack enough underwear. She was upset and it broke my heart. Yesterday just wasn't her day."

"Beth right? She's a sweetheart." Jon smiled before he took a sip of his tea.

"She definitely is." Sansa nodded in agreement.

"Is she your favorite this week?"

"We as counselors aren't supposed to have favorites." Sansa attempted to be stern as Jon rose an eyebrow and narrowed his eyes. Sansa began laughing so hard that her nose snorted and coffee spilled down her nose.

She grabbed a napkin and dabbed at her nose, refusing to make eye contact with him.

Seven hells, why must I embarrass myself in front of hot guys??? Why can't my laugh be sweet and adorable???

"I like your laugh, it's cute. You should do it more often." Jon's deep voice broke into her reverie and she lifted her eyes to see a small grin on his face.

"You should make more dramatic faces and jokes then," Sansa smiled back and Jon laughed a little.

"Noted." Jon nodded and then his eyebrows knitted together. "I just realized you didn't go to last night's late-night."

"Nope, besides doing Beth's laundry, I took a hot shower and talked to Mya out in the hall for a bit."

"Oh, Mya? Harry had heart eyes when he came back to the cabin last night. About damn time something happened."

"Mr. Jon? Did you just curse on campgrounds?" Sansa dramatically exclaimed and Jon chuckled as he shook his head.

"I sure did, Miss Sansa. Am I going to lose points now?"

[sienna-writes]

Butterfly Blood // update 1

woo! first writing update on this WIP so far! (Finally!!). Since I don't want to include huge spoilers on this book, as I might one day end up publishing (who knows), I will be splitting these posts into chatting about my process, character development, edits etc. and then include extracts that aren't too spoilery! I think it'll be okay for the first sections of the book, especially as alot of the first few chapters is character building and imagery to set the scene, tone and atmosphere.

Also, the working title of "Bleeding Out" that I HATED with a PASSION is finally gone! My novel is now called Butterfly Blood based on a excerpt way in the future of the story. (Which I'm very excited to share c: )

I wrote the prologue after I’d finished the first chapter, to introduce the book and it’s mystery in a more captivating way than it had initially been introduced.

Frog finds himself underground in the middle of a forest with no knowledge of his surrounds, his past, or his identity. He clings to one certainty, that he is and was raised by frogs. (This book is a bit wack, just roll with it.)

As he crawls into the middle of the road, a truck starts hurtling toward him and careens off the road last minute. The driver drops down and searches for for Frog, but cannot find anyone.

There is no blood, no screaming, no mangled man wailing on the ground. Reluctantly, the driver withdraws from the dark and locks himself in the enclosed cabin of his truck, steadying his breathing.

As the exhaust sputters to life again, and tires tug against the initial friction of the gravel, the disappearance twists the driver’s thoughts.

His passenger clings with sticky tree frog palms to the trucks stomach; well-oiled organs huffing heat and fumes onto his face.

So this book actually began with a very horribly written chapter. The structure was a mess and for some reason I kept bombarding the reader with information about my main character Rowan and really pushing forward the idea that she’s an energetic person... Which was stiff and just poor writing, honestly. (Also, I've changed my ideas since about how I want to characterise her.) But out of the 3000 word (approx) start, there were salvageable aspects, and those went into the first chapter along with a lot more fleshing out of the scenes, setting and character. I also finally decided on a tense and perspective after being super inconsistent with it and unable to make my mind up.

But! We got there in the end, I just thought I’d share my struggle since writing is not a perfect process and there is a lot of rearranging, and sometimes it feels like pulling teeth.

The premise of this chapter is to set the scene of Blackerwick (a fictional, dreary british seaside town), introduce Rowan (our main character), and the complex relationship with her father, who has become insular over the past month before the story starts.

—excerpts;

A little world building and set up!

Everything about the sleepy town Rowan’s family had moved to is soaked in a distinct achromatic despondency. Inland residents slumped and slogged in their routines, never caring to change them, almost afraid of living. It had confused Rowan at first when she’d come here from Ireland at fourteen, how much the dull town contrasted its landscape. It seemed undeserving of such beauty; a tall mountain range to the left of Blackerwick, and beyond it a city; wide stretches of moors headed toward the forests, and beyond the forests—the ocean. It was as if all the world’s natural beauties had congregated here millions of years ago as the earth slid into place, waiting for settlers to enjoy it. They didn’t even seem to notice.

    Fading out of view behind her, a mangle of dark rooftops mesh amongst each other, a severe contrast to the pallidly painted house fronts, and chimneys slice into the sky, puffing endlessly on their pipes.

Hot air is exhaled from the horizon, tugging striking, unruly orange hair from her heavy ponytail as it whistles past her face. She closes her eyes peacefully against the feverish winds, her clothes buffeting and pounding as if fighting it off. Grinning, she leans toward the sea, trusting its breath to hold her weight.

In the course of this chapter Rowan has had an altercation with her teacher and gotten a detention, pushed through the forests toward the beach, and now is returning home. She rouses her dad’s attention by feigning a headache, because he doesn’t bother with her unless he sees she is in pain etc. Now for some quality mild gore!

    Turning, she leans in to hug him when she realises there’s blood gushing from her nose.

    “Oh shit! Shit, shit, shit! Not again!” Rowan scoops shaking hands to her nose, tacky blood spilling over her fingertips. “Dad, Dad!”

    He is already on it, tipping her head back into his cupped palm, holding tissues tightly to her nose. She wheezes and sputters, the world spinning as she lurches toward the sink, clinging to the draining board to keep her balance. Everything red, the four walls of the kitchen, red. Her blurring vision, red. Everything bleeding like her gums beneath grinding teeth as she bites down on the impulse to say something. She wants to scream, or throw up, head swimming as her world tilts upside down. Her skull rests in her father’s strong palm, a fleshy safety net.

Wash your mouth out with soap, ma’am. 

I was considering having Rowan not swear around her father, but her mother is pretty aggressive and her dad (Karmen) swears regularly, so it doesn’t seem too outrageous anymore. (I could never, my mum would flip).

When the bleeding slows finally, and her chin closes in on her neck again she notices her father’s shirt is covered with dried, grubby gore. It looks like he is bleeding out from a deep gash notched into his chest. His heart clawed savagely from its dwelling. 

Karmen being a worried dad is best dad;

     “You said not again.” He says finally, as she gathers herself, filling glass after glass with water and gulping hungrily, throat tilted toward the sky.

    “I’ve been getting more than usual recently.” She replies nonchalantly.

    “That’s shouldn’t be normal.” He says.

     Rowan shrugs, “I’ve always been prone to bleeding and bruising.” As if to defend herself or prove her case, she pulls down her jeans slightly, revealing a black contusion on her hip. It fades into swarthy purple and blue; a gradient discolouring her pale freckled skin; a deep ink blot, as if the flesh had been punctured with a fountain pen.

    Her dad hisses sharply. “How did you do that? I told you not to go into those woods anymore!”

Ok! Enough blood! I really made nosebleeds overly dramatic lol.

Anywho!

the first 2000 ish words of this chapter follow Frog (he's later named Mint), and let me tell you, his perspective came so naturally, and was such an interesting world view to write in. I'm not saying i like him, but I enjoy writing him for sure.

This chapter was initially 2100 words and I intended it to be a brief introduction of mint, but I merged it with the next one because I thought they joined together nicely. The other aspects of this chapter introduce more of the friend group (honestly the only relevent characters within this group are Damian and Jamie, the rest are low-key assholes) and set up later events.

—excerpts;

Mint is wandering in the forest, and hunting.

He slinks into step with the deer as it rises, shaking his head as it shakes its placid mane. Serenity slices the air in two.

     Frog strikes.

    The blade almost glitters in the air as it shoots toward the limpid animal’s vulnerable throat, veins pulsing beneath frosty, translucent fur. Incorporeal beast. A surreptitious streak in the night, headfirst, embedding with a gurgle and a coarse, barbaric scream. Deer’s aren't meant to sound like this. Like a human, like something capable of feeling and hurting. Frog wriggles the blade out of its fleshy sheath and exhales into a whistle. He looks gleefully at the drowned grass damp with blood. Gushing over his squirming toes.

      Its crown tumbles to the soil, antlers embedding deep into the foliage at Frogs feet. He sits beside Stag on the floor laden with pine needles--wreathing its glazed face like christ’s crown-- and strokes the un-bloodied fur of its forehead, holding its unblinking, waxy glare. Frog is the victor.

Frog/Mint is hunting! He kills a stag! Then he brutally dissects it;

      Peeling away at the thick membrane enshrouding Stag's skull, with tender interest, Frog carves muscle and fat from its head, pellucid and opaline, dropping the pale crumbs of carcass onto the ground. The deer’s dense ghost is not yet cold in his crimson tinted hands. 

Rowan feeling numb, because oh boy us writers like to see our characters in pain;

The water is scalding. Rowan breaks out in goose bumps. Catching her reflection in the rippling bathwater she almost doesn’t recognise herself. Flushed, pale cheeks. All sharp edges, cheekbones slicing beneath the eyes, graceful slanting nose scooping down into a slight point. Her lips protrude from her face, full and large, accommodating an easy smile. Rowan pulls her downturned lips into a small grin. The constructed happiness blurs in the water. Holding her breath, she leans into the baths hot grip, filling with her fiery hair.

    The silence smudges in her ears.

I also wrote some banter-y dialogues but I think I'll share them another time... After they've been edited.... a heck ton... There's an over exaggerated smoking description in this chap too but I've shared that before heh :)

I hope you enjoyed this LONG overdue chapter update! So far there are 7 chapters, so I have a lot of updating to catch up on! :)

I don’t have a tag list at the moment, but if you’re interested in this wip and want to be on it, then please send me an ask or a comment and I’ll add you :)

Tag list, ask to be added or removed;

@alicewestwater @elaz-ivero @coffeeandcalligraphy @hanwatchingmovies @sirfitzroys @chloeswords @nev-953