#i'd say a lot
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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the prophecy gang again
#warrior cats#warriors#the new prophecy#squirrelflight#brambleclaw#tawnypelt#crowfeather#feathertail#stormfur#I wanted to go back and do another lineup of the road trip cats#it's been four years since the last one!#I'd say feather storm and crow went through the biggest changes#i'm a lot happier with how they turned out
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Day 22 - Candy
+ alt version
#myherotober2024#himiko wants to eat ochako bc she's the sweetest girl part 2 electric boogaloo#if I got a nickel every time I drew Himiko eating tiny Ochako#i'd have two nickels#which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice#anyway me try to say consistent with artstyle/aesthetic challenge FAILED#again#eh well I'd be boring to always draw in the same way#bnha#mha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#togachako#himiko toga#ochako uraraka#fanart
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redraw
#my art#digital art#revan#kotor#darth revan#star wars#.......that's a lot of progress I'd say#oc: icarus: izwei du gwecce | ardwei vidirev#previous one is from a year and some ago#so yeah
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“You didn’t jump,” Kara said.
Lena glanced up from her lo mein container, chopsticks in hand. “Jump?” Lena asked curiously.
Kara nibbled her lip thoughtfully, staring down at her potstickers. The evening had been a quiet one - a welcomed change of pace, after a wonderful and chaotic afternoon at Alex and Kelly’s wedding. When all was said and done - after the couple had left for their honeymoon and the party had quieted, after Eliza had taken Esme home for a fun week making chocolate chip cookies with her grandmother - Kara and Lena had found themselves in Kara’s apartment, settling down in their pajamas with a dinner of Chinese takeout.
“For Kelly’s bouquet,” Kara said. “You didn’t jump.”
Lena shrugged, digging into her food with her chopsticks again. “It wasn’t heading towards me.”
“You could’ve used magic,” Kara suggested, thinking of how a certain other super had used her powers to yank the flowers midair.
“And start a duel with Nia?” Lena grinned. “Seemed unwise. Besides, she has a likely candidate.”
Kara smiled.
“At least I was there,” Lena teased softly. “I didn’t see you in the crowd.”
Kara shrugged. “It’s a human tradition.”
Lena tilted her head. “What did Krypton have?”
Kara grimaced. “Genetic testing. AI matching. Rules about guild marriages,” she said, “My uncle destroyed the AI, at least. But romance was secondary on Krypton.”
“What about now? On Argo?”
“Romantic love is… still an alien concept, on Argo,” Kara said thoughtfully, popping another potsticker in her mouth. “It existed in some of our stories. But our upbringing, our culture- we had to squash a lot of that down.”
“And now?”
“Now it’s like…” Kara’s voice had lowered to a murmur, and Lena noticed a pink tint rising in her cheeks. Kara cleared her throat, staring into her food. “Now it’s like they’re marrying a close friend,” she continued. “I wouldn’t say they have romance like Earth does.”
“Like marrying a friend,” Lena mulled.
Kara quietly picked at her food.
“And what about you?” Lena said, partially curious, partially… well. She knew Kara could hear how her heart had started pounding, as much as she wished she could hide it.
“Me?”
“You grew up there. But you’ve been here for so long. Where do you fall?”
Kara’s brow crinkled. “I think I…like all the little things,” she murmured. “Giving flowers and chocolate. Kissing. Holding hands.”
“But?”
“Not a but,” Kara said as she glanced up - still avoiding Lena’s eyes, but looking thoughtfully ahead. “It feels so alien to me, but in this wonderful way. Exhilarating. Strange. I feel like I have this chimeric type of romance in my head - not Earthian, not Kryptonian. Like romance is…”
Kara grew quiet, turning her head to her food again, staring silently as the blush on her cheeks seemed to deepen.
Lena watched for a moment, taking in the unmoving kryptonian - the hint of tightness in her posture, the unusual muteness and stillness. “What is romance for you, Kara?” Lena whispered.
Kara slowly tilted her gaze up to meet Lena’s. “My perfect partner at a game night,” she confessed quietly. “Knowing someone so well that it feels like magic when we’re together.”
Lena let out the breath she didn’t realize she had been holding.
Kara nibbled nervously at her lip. “You- you don’t have to see it that way,” Kara said, her voice cracking. “It’s not- it doesn’t have to change anything. But I’ll understand if it’s too much…”
“I feel it too,” Lena whispered. “When I’m with you. It always feels like magic.”
“Really?” Kara said. “You could want- you-”
“I didn’t want to catch the bouquet unless it was for you,” Lena confessed. “I just- all I want is to be with you.”
Kara smiled wide, and Lena watched on as the tension seemed to melt away from the still-blushing kryptonian’s frame. “I love you, Lena.”
Lena smiled back. “I love you too.”
#there is a lot that I'd love to dig into and say on this but I am going to leave it at a ficlet for now#supercorp#karlena#mel writes ficlets
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Having the time of my life with this lineless style >u<
More of these! Even more of these! a teeny bit more of these
Who should be next?
#i actually had a lot of fun drawing antoine#which is something I never thought I'd ever say#all of these were great tho#sonic#sth#my stuff#silver the hedgehog#shadow the hegdehog#scourge the hedgehog#rouge the bat#sally acorn#bunnie rabbot
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Did I draw this just to have an excuse to draw Jamil with his hair down? Yes. Yes, I did.
#for legal reasons i'd like to say that i don't consider kalim to be dumb or incompetent#i think he's a lot smarter and more capable than some people give him credit for#being friendly and forgiving doesn't make you stupid#i also have no explanation for the choice of pajamas it just felt right#twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland fanart#twst fanart#kalim al asim#twst kalim#jamil viper#twst jamil#cheekindraws
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Oh, Lala...
#atla#avatar the last airbender#atla fanart#atla art#atla azula#princess azula#atla ursa#suki#atla suki#kyoshi warriors au#kyoshi warriors#Kyoshi Warrior Ursa AU#wip#I felt like sharing a little snippet of a two-page comic I've been working on for AGES#Literally you have no idea for how long this has been sitting on my drafts#Mainly because I keep getting sidetracked by new AUs and sketches and projects. But that's nothing new so#This one is a deep-ish dive into the basic character dynamics between the Fire Siblings as well as Ursa and Suki#Or should I say#Between the siblings Ruolan and Jian Li regarding their mother Noriko and each other.#I know the names can get rather confusing. I'd love to explain the reasoning behind them if anyone would like to know tho#Moving on#There's a lot to unpack in that scene#The characters are different from how we know them due to their circumstances in this AU. But they have things in common with the og series#Of course that remains for you to see#I'm so excited to finish this and share it with you guys!#Some of you have been asking about Azula/Ruolan and Ursa/Noriko in this AU and I am here to deliver#I love the dynamic between this little family SO much it's driving me insane#That being said#What do you get from this panel alone? What do you think it's happening?#I'd love to hear your thoughts on this
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ok we've been discussing this in our archaeology groupchat and i'm curious
there's no right or wrong answer and obviously this is a very culturally sensitive question- the history (and present state) of displaying human remains is closely tied up with colonialism and (dis)respect for religious and cultural practices, which is why i'm really curious about how many people WOULD be ok with their body being displayed- and why/why not- so if u wanna expand on your answer in the tags please do!!
#archaeology#personally i would be ok with it- i'm not using these bones for the time being and my soul would have long since departed#so the essence of Me would be gone#and i'd be interested to see what conclusions the archaeologists would draw about me from my bones. bones can tell you so much!!#a lot of people in the groupchat were saying human remains should NEVER be displayed but i think maybe there's more nuance than that#hence the poll!
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Zionists want you to conflate Judaism and Zionism. Zionists want you to believe that Judaism cannot exist without Zionism and that all Jews are Zionists. Zionism would have Jews believe that a Jewish state is the only way that they can be safe from antisemitism and will point to any instance of antisemitism as proof that Zionism is the solution- so Zionism wants gentiles to be antisemitic in their support of Palestine. They want you to conflate all Jews with Zionism and the state of Israel, and they want you to treat all Jews regardless of political affiliation as the face of Israel. Antizionist Jews exist, and incidences of antisemitism ostensibly acting against Zionism will not help dismantle the forces propping Zionism up.
Don't do their work for them.
#red rambles#viva palestina#antizionism#i haven't actually seen a lot of antisemitism personally. not recently anyway. but that's more a feature of me not following antisemites#i DO however see a lot of people talking about the people they're seeing throw their support behind antisemites using palestine#as an excuse to conflate all jews with israel#and i cannot stress enough that that is literally what israel and zionist forces abroad WANT.#i am jewish. my entire family is jewish. i want to see palestine free. and i have SEEN how the jewish community gets conflated with israel#both from the inside and out#and i am dead serious when i say that every time someone is antisemitic it strengthens the conviction from people abroad#that it's a terrible sad situation but there's 'no other choice'#if you're being antisemitic you are doing the enemy's work for them. Stop it.#like... look. i am putting this in the tags bc im talking in the tags but i mean this. I do not give a single flying fuck if you personally#are a giant raging antisemite at the moment. Your personal beliefs are your problem and not mine. I do not fucking care. But if you are#being openly and loudly antisemitic *in your support of palestine* you are absolutely not fucking helping. I am so dead serious right now#if you want to raise awareness and you're being antisemitic because of deep held beliefs or whatever i want you to look around and read the#fucking room. Do you understand how much of Israel's international support comes from the idea that they are the only country where jews ar#safe from antisemitism? do you see how every time palestine comes up people point at incidences of antisemitism in anti-genocide actions to#discredit the entire movement? do you not understand how your actions are cutting the movement down at the knees?#i'm jewish and proud of it. i don't like antisemitism. but there's a genocide on and i'd rather work against it than quibble over who i#work alongside. i dont fucking care. you can be as antisemitic as you like in private. stop fucking the movement up.#there are bigger things to worry about here. if i can put aside my own concerns as to who i'm talking to you can hold your tongue#and fight the good fight instead of handing weapons to the people who are trying to fucking flatten gaza.
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Be honest, what are your thoughts on appledash? Do you hate it or its more of not a big deal
Not a big deal to me. I like it, I see all the appeals, I just personally like Rarijack more.
#ask me#anon#if you wanna know why i like rarijack more i just think they're a healthier depiction of a domestic and longterm relationship#appledash gives me the vibes of gfs that'll eventually break up#because from s1 to s8 their relationship and communication with each other on serious things never really matures or grows#they were competitive and petty in s1 and they were competitive and petty in s8#arguably worse cuz in that s8 episode their dynamic becomes so toxic they almost cause a student under their care to drown#both of them have a superiority complex that's constantly conflicting with each other and it never really gets resolved#but with rarijack there's a very clear arc of development you can follow in their character#and multiple episodes show how they'll argue and eventually come back together and apologize and communicate and work to better things#you can watch them grow to like and understand each other. in s1 aj scoffs and makes fun of rarity's work in fashion#but in a later season (after some conflict) aj says that she doesn't understand fashion but she knows it means a lot to rarity so it means#a lot to her too. and that's what love is to me. “it didn't mean anything to me until it meant something to you”#it's genuinely really sweet and i'd argue rarijack /feels/ the most romantic out of all the main 6 ships. through arguing they grow closer#which is how it's supposed to be in relationships that last! you argue to work out your interpersonal problems and understand each other#(which is why it's genuinely kinda baffling to me that appledash ended up being canonically married because they never gave me those vibes)#but it really doesn't matter. they're cartoon horses! have fun with them
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me: I'm not a bat
Mr pages: (stuffing novels under its robe): I must abscond
#I have a lot of other bits I've collected but don't want to overwhelm the tag#I really would suggest motr and to play it as like. I like it for giving us a day to day slightly more grounded neath life#I think fallen london is a great setting well conveyed in total but motr is way more fleshed out in a “you're just a guy” way#I also really like the character writing. The gameplay to solve the mysteries is quite obtuse in total but I used a hint guide so it was#I knew what to do bc I would NOT have succeeded otherwise. But experiencing it was still fun#I'm quite torn on how good an intro it is for FL. I think that depends on your genre of choice but as a world introduction...#Idk!! In theory it's probably good. But I'd need to hear from people who went through it as their first to say. It touches on a bit of it a#Mask of the rose spoilers#Fallen london#for virginia and milton teaming up to bully you + mr pages ridiuclous comedy of a life it's worth it to me
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Child Actors Aqua and Kana on the occasion of season 2.
I imagine that if everything didn't go downhill with Ai, Aqua and Kana would have been able to act in more films together and maybe be paired together in more projects. And an actual childhood friend relationship would be real nice.
#The moon and stars because I always liked the symbolism of Aqua being associated with the stars and Kana with the moon#I know I say this a lot but characters growing up healthy? I'd like to see that please#Aqua and Kana being casted in many dramas together and slowly get to know each other better in the process you know#Then Ai slowly becomes something similar to a mother figure to Kana too maaaybe?#(guys but what if they filmed the bell pepper dance together)#hoshino aqua#arima kana#oshi no ko#onk#aquakana#aqua x kana#aqukana#illustration#aquamarine hoshino#onk fanart#oshi no ko fanart#oshinoko
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if you struggle with mental health, one piece of advice i would genuinely give you is learn to knit.
or crochet: something repetitive to do with your hands, assuming you're capable of it. if you're like me and learnt to knit as a kid but let it lie fallow for a long time, it may be that starting a large, simple project (for me it was a cloak, but a blanket could work too) gets you back into it. or maybe doing something smaller, idk. i personally found socks really hard for a while because they felt smaller than my cloak but weren't getting Done quick enough for me. as i've sped up i find it more interesting to knit socks.
regardless, a repetitive task is great for emotional regulation (also see: autistic stimming), and something that you can look at and go hey i've done something, unlike simply using a fidget toy, can also help to pick your mood up when the brain is being cruel.
it's also useful as a conversation starter or distracter if you don't know what to talk about. if you're wanting to talk to older people also you're more likely to reel them in with knitting (i work better with older people, and 99% of people who ask what i'm knitting are older than me). it also gives you the opportunity to not make eye contact because you're busy knitting, even if you're still carrying on a conversation. if you're absolutely stuck for conversation you can count your stitches and people might stop bothering you.
if you have trouble focusing without doing something with your hands, you can knit! i knit a lot in church, and it helps me to focus on what's being said.
i probably have more reasons you should pick up knitting, but i can't recall them right now, so yeah.
#knitting#catkin knits#i remember one specific time back in october where i was sitting in Bible class utterly unable to stop the most horrible thoughts going#through my head. i was knitting as fast as i've ever knitted. no exaggeration to say i was knitting to stop myself from attempting to die.#and afterwards i sat there in the corner knitting for all i was worth. just repeating to myself 'not now. i am not killing myself now.'#and someone saw me in the corner frantically knitting and came to ask if i was ok. and asked how my mental health was.#must've been end of oct bc it was the first wednesday after i was out of psych ward. and i was having lots of thoughts about the method#i'd used for what is still my most recent suicide attempt. which was in october. and i had the means with me.#it would have been a horrible thing to do. to kill oneself at Bible class. with children around. but i wasn't in a particularly hinged stat#of mind at the time. that's approximately the only clear memory i have of that time in fact.#anyway idk why im thinking of that rn when im fine
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From this:
To this:
#There's so many I've definitely missed a lot but these are what came to mind#I was gonna add in movies but kept to tv shows otherwise I'd be here forever#feel free to add on#superwholock#good omens#the sandman#amc iwtv#bbc merlin#ofmd#heartstopper#wwdits#I'm totally saying something without saying it
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2k Followers Gift
LINK
I am a little nervous to post this, but I'm really pleased with what I've got here. Jay's point of view of finding and saving the MC. It ended up at just under 4.5k words. I hope that you all enjoy!
Just a heads-up: since this is in Jay's point of view, there are some things revealed that haven't been revealed yet in-story. Basically all of it in regards to Ravi's Deal. Nothing is explained fully, but they talk frankly about some of it.
Sharing just in case there's anyone who wants to completely avoid that sort of thing.
TWs beneath the cut.
Minor injuries to a dog, death, drowning, vomiting.
#drabbles#not really but!! that's a good tag for this sort of thing#thank you all again so much for following#and for enjoying the story#had a lot of fun getting into jay's head for this#none of the TWs are very extreme i'd say but still wanted to include them
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