#i'd rather hear 'you will get there'
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If I ranted / said I feel Bad / any negative feelings to anything in life, I would instantly be labeled "ungrateful" / "lazy" / "it's your own fault" / "be better" 😂😂 if I told them "my boss is shitty" they would say "then be The Boss and do actual work, start Making Money" which I guess is maybe a motivational speech or something but honestly i don't feel motivated at all <\3
#like idk i guess im just too spoiled that i want a comfort??#i'd rather hear 'you will get there'#instead of 'you are wrong. go fix'#also i said im trying to Fix it#but idk if its right or wrong#everytime im talking abt my job they all gave me that kinda Look#like im Beneath them#which is also true but#AUGH im just grateful to have a job at all in this economy#their target for me is twice or thrice the money i get for now#also i gotta have 'side-jobs' in case something happen to my current one#also a passive income#also gotta have my own business??#NAUR I already work 60 hours a week#not including the freelance ones 😂#ahh see im complaining again#instead of start Fixing it im complaining online!!#augh#red rambles
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Oh, Lala...
#atla#avatar the last airbender#atla fanart#atla art#atla azula#princess azula#atla ursa#suki#atla suki#kyoshi warriors au#kyoshi warriors#Kyoshi Warrior Ursa AU#wip#I felt like sharing a little snippet of a two-page comic I've been working on for AGES#Literally you have no idea for how long this has been sitting on my drafts#Mainly because I keep getting sidetracked by new AUs and sketches and projects. But that's nothing new so#This one is a deep-ish dive into the basic character dynamics between the Fire Siblings as well as Ursa and Suki#Or should I say#Between the siblings Ruolan and Jian Li regarding their mother Noriko and each other.#I know the names can get rather confusing. I'd love to explain the reasoning behind them if anyone would like to know tho#Moving on#There's a lot to unpack in that scene#The characters are different from how we know them due to their circumstances in this AU. But they have things in common with the og series#Of course that remains for you to see#I'm so excited to finish this and share it with you guys!#Some of you have been asking about Azula/Ruolan and Ursa/Noriko in this AU and I am here to deliver#I love the dynamic between this little family SO much it's driving me insane#That being said#What do you get from this panel alone? What do you think it's happening?#I'd love to hear your thoughts on this
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i saw a review that called season 2 of sweet tooth "too confined" and maybe it's just me but i feel like that's misidentifying what's actually a strength of the show. in an era where streaming series that try to Go Bigger and do as much as possible in their second seasons out of fear of not getting renewed again frequently result in bloated, poorly-paced messes that speedrun plotlines without giving them room to breathe, having a season of tv that focuses very tightly on playing out and resolving the problems established by the prior season is fucking refreshing.
#yeah i get being bored by the zoo set but shifting to a less episodic format worked#i'd rather make sure the plotlines dovetail than shift back to the roadtrip formula without resolving the rest of it#sweet tooth#sweet tooth netflix#yet again you all have to hear my opinions about a show 6 other people are posting about#sweet tooth spoilers#and they set up another big journey with a small ensemble for the next season anyway if they get renewed
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i love them (the fankids) and honestly seeing you draw stuff you want to makes me so happy draw what you want and take care of yourself <3 we are just happy to share dojoshipping and submas with you
you guys as a bunch of people that walked into my house and cheer and clap when i hold up a drawing
#awawawawa this was nice to hear <3#I've never been particularly worried about posting things people ''want'' rather than what i want to draw#(it just happens to be that if someone says something i already wanted to draw#I'd draw it. fun coincidences)#but I've learned that. you're much happier and people are more inclined to like you if you're not super worried about what others demand#just be yourself and be kind and enjoy doing what you do‚ and you will draw people towards you#not that I'm trying to increase my follower count or anything lmao. scary....#but yeah if i get people demanding to draw something that I don't want to draw. i just ignore it#and if people are being rude‚ i ignore it#(that being said sometimes i will save asks in case i want to draw it later. and then forget lmao. my inbox is. very full. help)#uhhhhh right my point is. I'm just doing my own thing that might occasionally happen to align with what people want#and I'm enjoying doing it and i try to be kind and positive#and that has made my online experience so very much better than anything else#answered
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... Barf barf barf! I'm a can opener, a lamp, and a shaver! Oh god, I'm a mish-mash!
(Still a WIP but at least I'm past the halfway mark now!)
#mega man#rockman#mega man classic#animatic#animation#work in progress#the brave little toaster#it's a b movie#is that voice INCREDIBLY unfitting for him? 100%. Does he work for the scene? Also 100%.#i swear it's the frames that are gone instantly i put the best faces on lmao#this whole thing has been a lesson in learning how to use editing software again#also I feel like exposure to this movie as a kid was what ignited my love for the sound of pipe organs lol#in the version on the OST you can actually hear it a lot clearer throughout the whole thing#anyway I still don't know how to background but at some point I might go back through them and make them a little less nonsensical#but i'd rather get the scenes concepted and return to them rather than stew on it for another year
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I usually avoid posting my own opinions, but I've seen a few posts like the one in the screenshot below creep across my feed lately and they're bugging me too much to keep my mouth shut. I censored the identity of this particular example because I don't want to start a Tumblr war or make them feel like I'm singling them out or attacking them.
I don't feel good about celebrating black history month through a character who was both written and performed by a white man. I know this is all just low-stakes fandom headcanon stuff and I'm not trying to control what other people do, but something feels not-quite-right about taking a character played by a white VA and deciding (on his behalf might I add) that he's black and using him as your example of black representation in the audio rp fandom.
There are black VAs out there, they can represent themselves. I really think it's disingenuous to sort through a cast of characters all played by the same white guy and assign POC races to them in order to give a singular white guy's one-man show racial diversity, then celebrate said "diversity".
Sorry, I'm not trying to be a Tumblr drama queen. If you're the person from the screenshot (or have posted something similar), I don't think you meant any harm. Your post probably wasn't meant to be that deep and not the worst thing in the world, but I don't know why you would pick a random character written and performed by a white guy and cheer "Rahhh, let's celebrate black history month with this!". If it really matters to you, you can celebrate a black VA, or a canonically black character, or even just a listener character that you/others HC as black. You can celebrate fan artists and writers who are black.
Why use characters played by Redacted for this? I promise I'm not trying to start a fight, or accuse people who've made posts like this of being racist or cancel anyone. I don't think they mean badly. But I see this a lot even outside of the context of BHM. It's almost always with characters written/performed by Redacted and it's always made me a little uneasy, especially with the amount of enthusiasm people throw onto the race they decided to HC for this one white man's characters.
If you disagree with me, I'm open to hearing you out. I don't want to try and dictate what people can/can't do in a fandom space or send a mob after anyone, but something feels off to me about using Redacted characters to celebrate BHM.
-Ringmaster
#I hope I don't accidentally start a tumblr war and regret this#but POC don't need to be represented by white actors#I'd rather celebrate actual black characters and black creators#just accept that you aren't going to get diverse racial representation from a series where the same white guy is playing absolutely everyon#redacted audio#black history month#BHM#not a callout post#please don't witch-hunt anyone#but seriously there are black VAs out there if black representation is important to you#some are very under-rated and could actually use a shoutout right now#there are also non-black VAs who collab with black people and have actual diverse representation in their casts#also how do you hear Erik's voice and think “that's my black king right there”#redacted fandom#audio roleplay#boyfriend asmr
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y'all i might be getting in the process of changing my legal name soon next week i am so nervoise
#apparently it's harder here in cali for whatever reason bc they're making you have a whole court hearing abt it#which sucks bc i'd rather just quietly pay n then get it over with#but yay i don't have to ever see that wretched deadname for good ever again if it goes well !!!!!!!!!#ceph.txt
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...💌
#not-very-seriously contemplating making a fitalk sideblog#just so i could ramble on about my fic ideas like the lunatic i am without bothering anyone#because istg i come up with at least 3 new ideas a day and more if necessary#but i'm too self-conscious to do that on my main blog too often because i always manage to convince myself no one actually cares#and that the only few people who do seem to care only care because they want to be supportive#and/or think it's cute i'm so passionate about the fics/pairing or whatever#and there's nothing wrong with that and i'm thankful of course!#but it sort of makes me feel like a child being praised by adults ya know? 😭#and idk maybe i just feel like this because i used to share a hyperfixation OTP with a friend#and i'd come up with new fic ideas/headcanons for our OTP on a daily basis#until the friend admitted they weren't even that into the pairing#they just found it adorable to see how enthusiastic i was thinking of stories of them :)#which made me feel like such an idiot lol silly me thought they were as into it as i was#like. i get the need to infodump about hyperfixations to a friend even if the friend is not into the hyperfixation#especially if you don't know anyone else to whom you could talk about it#but i don't need that personally. i'd rather talk about my hyperfixations to someone who actually wants to hear it#and not just because they think i'm being adorable or they want to support me#i can very well keep it all to myself or just idk talk to myself?? lol#so yeahhhh i kinda don't want to make myself feel like a clown like that again 🤡#i do realise i think about fic ideas an unhealthy amount probably lol#but then again isn't that what actual published authors do all the flipping time?! the only difference is that i'm not getting paid for it😤#this wasn't supposed to become a rant lol the words just started flooding#anywayyyyy who wants to hear about my royalty!aleksi / ballet dancer!olli fic idea with side roommates-with-benefits olli/joonas?#additional tags include 'helping the other put on make-up' and 'anal fingering'. if you even care#(pls don't actually ask it's ridiculous)
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I don't know... horrible things happen all around the world and it's not a competition
Atrocities are committed against multiple groups in multiple parts of the world at the exact same moment, and none of them erase each other. They all matter, all the people in this world who are being brutalized matter. There shouldn't be any line you draw where one group doesn't actually matter as much as another
You're welcome to prioritize your energy towards helping one group or another, but what's not ok is invalidating or dismissing people who are actively being harmed
Same goes for trying to figure out which social group has things worst (and lets be honest, always using a US lens)
Like... maybe the important thing is to prop each other up and help everyone get on their own feet rather than trying to... pick fights about if physical disabilities or mental illness are less respected (I'm trying to pick a more absurd example but sadly I've seen exactly that argument happen before). Maybe it doesn't really matter and what matters is helping who we can when we can
I'm tired of it, I'm just fucking tired of it. Support people, champion them when the world is just brutalizing them, but you don't need to throw a single other person under the bus to do that
Which seems to be an absolutely impossible lesson for people to learn
#I won't say anything else on this; but I will say that to me one of the groups that it feels like is most forgotten is Syrians#including by me if I'm honest#I don't know what's currently happening in Syria... but... my understanding is it still hasn't really gotten better#assad is still brutalizing people last I had heard#so rather than saying anything else I'd prefer to simply focus on some people it feels like were forgotten back during Obama#and... and have remained forgotten#and I'm sorry I can't do more to help with the suffering in the world#but... you notice what I'm not having to do here?#I'm not having to throw a single other person under the bus#I'm able to just focus on how much I wish for Syrians to be ok (which is a hollow gesture on my part in many ways I think)#and I can keep all the focus on Syrians rather than throwing anyone else under the bus or doing any whataboutism#and that's literally all I'm asking of you fucking people#don't downplay human misery to try and make your thing seem more important#they're both fucking important... they're all important#there's so much suffering I can't even keep up with it#there's so much of it that I can only name without knowing the details; Congo; I believe Sudan is still suffering; Haiti#I don't know how things are in Ethiopia right now... I can't keep track#and none of these situations and the horrible things they're dealing with; things I haven't even been able to follow#none of it detracts from and of the issues I am following more closely#I don't need to compare them and say 'well it's not as bad'; because... bad is bad and any is too much#and nothing I say here will do a damn thing; no one'll hear and even if they did they'd ignore it or get pissed#that's what my evidence shows me about how people behave#but suffering isn't a competition; the correct amount is zero#and... perhaps I'd have more tolerance if I hadn't watched how you behave with stuff#...the worst part is the person I adore who... man... I wish I could just get them to really think through their words#they mean well; they're coming from a place of love; but I just haven't been able to paint the picture for them of the harm#and I'm flawed; I don't have all the answers; I could be wrong here#but... can you at least see why I feel that maybe we shouldn't pit misery against each other#that the people suffering have more in common with each other than opposed and... maybe westerners aren't fucking helping#eh... too fucking drained thinking about this; end of tags
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Wow, it's been a while since I've heard the good ol "if I were you I probably would've ended it all long ago", didn't think I'd still hear that after high school
Hashtag just chronic illness thingsssss
#PPL REALLY SAY THAT AND FUCKING MEAN IT. AND NOT EVEN IN A MEAN 'YOU SHOULD KYS' WAY#But in a fucking 'ur so brave' way#Like I'd rather it be said in the kys way bc then I could brush it off as hatred but. Ppl really hear about my daily life#Look me in the eyes#And tell me they would have killed themselves long ago if they were in my shoes#Fucking WILD#Ppl fucking mean it too. I've never had anyone say it and not felt that they fucking meant it#And i know this probably says more abt how miserable they are rn and it's probably some kinda sign that they're not okay#But bro I don't care lmfao#Like. My life is worth the misery#Fuck dude HELLOOOOO do these people not realise that it's very possible that I get suicidal. Thank fucking god no one has ever said that#in a moment/period when I AM suicidal#Do you know how many times I've had to remind and convince myself that life gets better and that it's not always that bad.#That it's worth staying alive#And then someone looks me in the eyes and says yeah it'd be fucking logical if u killed urself abt it#Suicide mention
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Anonymous back from, "Keep on truckin". You'd mentioned that story Unchained, gonna be real whichya' that's the main reason I found your blog. I've made a few art pieces bout him but don't got the guts to post em. I gotta question for ya maybe you could answer, how many chapters does that story go for?
-Call me Identity
Ahh... you anons are gonna make me cry at this rate...
I guess I'm surprised it was Unchained that caused you to find my blog?? Most people seem to find it through my ask answers or one of my canon fics. But my silly long OC story??
Also I am thrilled that you've created art of him, even if you don't feel comfortable posting them! I would love to see them of course, but there's no pressure at all. But I'm just happy that the story has inspired you to create!
There are 22 chapters and an epilogue! I'm about to post chapter 18 tonight, so there are four chapters left and then the epilogue!
And I will add your sign off to the anon list!
#I get it about not wanting to share stuff#I actually wrote the song that's in the story but nobody will ever hear it because I'd rather die than share it lol#but anyway thank you I'm really happy that you're enjoying the story~#Identity anon#misc answers
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does anyone wanna unfollow?
like a week ago I got rid of more than half my followers but I still feel like I have too many, so if you've been considering unfollowing then here's your sign to do it 👍
#the only reason i don't wanna do it myself is bc i kept everyone who's like. a regular mutual or who appears in my notifications a lot#so i don't wanna softblock anyone who like. wants to stay following me or anything#but yeah i just wanna get my follower count down bc this blog has just become me rambling into the corner of a dark room#except behind me there are still other people in the room who can see me and hear everything i say#and I'd rather ramble into the void with less people watching if that makes sense#i can't describe it#i guess it's like i'd rather be mentally ill in private but this blog is where i go to be mentally ill. idk i can't be bothered to say word#anyway. if you unfollow i won't be offended and you can come back anytime if you want to 👍#ramble
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2, 9 for LOK?
✨ love your fandom ask game ✨
2. A headcanon you weren't sure about at first but have come to like!
Ooh this one is kinda tough~ I'm generally rather removed from the fandom at large so I actually don't really know of a lot of popular headcanons out there, let alone ones I initially didn't like and came to like~ I really only ever consumed content about Baatar and Kuvira as they're my favorites, and with them I'd either like a headcanon outright, or dislike it outright. I will say, at least in the limited fan content I've consumed, there is a common idea of Baatar having gone to university in Ba Sing Se for a period of time. I've seen at least 3 folks use that in their writings for him, and while it was never something I was "unsure" about, I didn't initially include the idea in my version of him. I don't know who penned that headcanon first but I was always hesitant about being seen as "copying" anyone lol. I do like the idea though, especially with my very codependent versions of Baatar and Kuvira, some time apart like that during their "good years" would be rather interesting, since they have been in each other's lives for most of their lives, Baatar choosing to go where Kuvira can't follow- even for a short period of time, I can see her holding against him for a little while. Especially with her preexisting abandonment issues.
9. A ship that isn't your OTP but you enjoy
Once again I'm pretty singularly invested in Baatar and Kuvira but there are definitely some canon and fan ships that I like! Canon wise I'll always have a soft spot for Bolin and Opal, just because they're cute and I like the potential dynamic it creates with Baatar specifically. A lot of it is pretty contingent on my rewrite versions, but what can I say, I'm a bit of a sucker for puppy love. Lyn and Kya was an early ship I'd see in the fandom that I always was like *Kermit nodding gif* ooh yeah I like that, and I've also seen Lyn and Bumi which I also really like, but I never really delved into fan works of either admittedly. I'll confess that lately the crack ship of Baatar and Zhu Li has been on my mind, but definitely not as a positive ship in any way, more like a mutually waged psychological warfare that they aren't even trying to hide from each other kind. I don't remember what sparked the idea- I'm not usually one for crack ships as I tend to be pretty single-ship through and through, but it's been a fun dynamic to think about, especially the kinds of conversations they'd have.
#Ask Matsu#LoK Thoughts#[ The Baatar/Zhu Li thing is something I'd love to play with but it definitely would not be canon to my main AU lol#as fun as that would be Baatar does not expend any more energy on people than he needs to save for Kuvira and to a lesser extent Bolin#But the idea of him and Zhu Li waging war with each other behind the scenes is very interesting to me#especially with her really just trying to get information she can use against them out of him#and he's fully aware of that and just letting whatever happens happen to both see how far she'll take it but also to keep the leash drawn#in the event she actually choses to do something drastic#also for the sake of clarity Kuvira would be 100% fully aware and find it entertaining on a number of levels#her and Baatar do not keep secrets#she was probably the one to be like “lol you should see where that's going”#though I do think Baatar and Zhu Li would have some very interesting conversations#they're in very similar positions and I'm sure he'd wanna know why she put up with Varrick for so long#i mean he'd have a good guess but he'd wanna hear what her rationale is in her own words#and on Zhu Li's part she wants to know what twisted Baatar up so bad#but she'd also find a lot of his viewpoints about being a non bender rather gratifying#because he's willing to say out loud what a lot of people don't want to hear#I didn't meant to go on about that singular aspect lol but it's something I've been thinking about a lot lately#and crack-ships are rather new for me so this is uncharted territory#does this even count as a crack ship tho? maybe not#it definitely started out as “hehe the two glasses people on the train” but now it's like “hehe psychological warfare”#idk maybe it still counts lol ]#orangepanic
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I don't like it when the worship leader has a mic on and the mic is quite loud so you hear nothing besides his singing and piano. like yeah you can sing but this is not a concert. i wanna hear the congregation:(
#i could be objectively wrong like I'm not some great christian and i know nothing about church customs and etiquette#but i prefer it when you can hear the congregation and you hear everyone singing together rather than us all singing along to this singer#like i get it's a struggle when the church is too large or the congregation too small but i think I'd rather have the singing be a little#quiet and awkward idk but i acknowledge that's personal preference#so yeah just me being rude and complaining about nothing! not doing very well with kindness and love and christianity and thankfulness lol#tw religion#tw christianity
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.
#Seven’s Public Diary#vent post#cw vent post#vent#cw vent#wound mention#sighs deeply#had to take my shirt off for someone recently for medical reasons and while 'oh you poor thing..' is far from the worst response ive gotten#it's definitely still strange to hear. like i'm not rlly surprised‚ i am aware that i'm an upsetting sight#and i keep myself covered all the time to avoid upsetting people that can't handle the sight of marred skin#but i've grown so comfortable in my body over all these years that an interesting side effect of that is that i tend to forget#just how shocked and upset and worried ppl tend to get when they see me. it's almost funny. the sad kind of funny i guess#guess i'd rather laugh than dwell on the knowledge that i'm a set of walking trigger warnings that must be censored#anyways. that experience combined with the stressful and tiring process of tending to a wound on my back for the last 2 weeks#has me thinking about Ch. 5 of AEIWNF. for... reasons. so maybe i'll finally make myself draft and post that today#there's so many things i need to make myself do but the appeal of just sitting alone weaving bracelets and binge-listening to TMA is strong#the urge to be alone and craft things while listening to stories told through a lo-fi medium... where does it come from#that's a rhetorical question i know exactly where it came from. i'm just turning into both of my grandmothers lmao#what's the line. 'i've got my grandmother's veins in the back of my hands' what's that from. it's a Wonder Years song right#Hoodie Weather!!! yeah that's it. man i haven't listened to that in ages. maybe that'll be today's weather report#anyways. what else can i vent about. uhh. it's getting harder and harder to put my thoughts into words and that's concerning!#i'm fighting the desire to push everyone away again even though it feels like i should. i'm too toxic of a person#like. talk to any of the people that have ghosted/blocked me and they'll likely tell you to stop wasting your time on me lmao#and they'd probably be right. i'm so caught up in my own issues that i feel bad for anyone that tries to be friendly to me#everyone gets sick of my shit eventually. i'm overbearing and self-centered or you don't hear from me for months. there's no inbetween#i wish there was. god i wish there was#i'm never active on here anymore bc i feel like if i am then that's disrespectful to everyone waiting to hear back from me#but it's so much easier for me to post and reblog stuff than it is to talk one on one with literally anyone#it's not even social anxiety atp there's just something wrong with my brain. like not to self diagnose but Something's Wrong#okay that's enough whining. gonna go try to do something productive to make myself feel less useless
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A controversial thought just occurred to me that I've tried to put into words many times now about my hero (Janis Joplin) and other musicians and people who died "tragically" (especially in a "self-inflicted" way), and that is: every time I see someone online, on Youtube or Facebook or wherever, say something (always unprompted/unrelated to what the video/photo/article/etc. is about) along the lines of, "What a waste of their talent/skill their death was," I think, What a waste their death was? What have you said of their life? Why do you only choose to comment on, and apparently highlight, their death? Did their life, and their accomplishments, and what they brought to the world while they were alive mean nothing to you? Have you not a SHRED of gratitude that they were alive at all?
I am quite sure that there is some sort of psychological explanation (and I say that with the confidence of only having a basic understanding of psychology) for why people focus particularly on people's (in this case, celebrities') "tragic" deaths, but is it not a tragedy in itself to reduce those people's lives to their deaths and the fact that they're dead? Why not appreciate what they were able to share with us while they were here? You know?
#crystal visions of lilies in the valley#like I really don't...get why people would say that so randomly.#did you run out of ways to express your gratitude? here let me get you a thesaurus. I can help with that. I MEAN...:'(#maybe it's just me and having lived most of my life with mental illness I recognize that I NEED to look at the things - and people -#that bring me the most joy with positivity and gratitude. in order to cope I need more of what I cannot generate inside myself.#so I look outward to what other people have done and it makes ME grateful to be alive to be a witness of that...even in retrospect.#like yes I will easily admit that my thoughts on this are seen through my lens of mental illness but...oh. well. maybe that's what else#people are lacking (NOT mental illness. LOL): EMPATHY. because that's often what I feel toward (people like Janis) too...#well hrm. now I don't know if THAT complicates my thoughts any either. because...MUST EVERYONE have empathy? it is certainly#valuable and a benefit but...yeah. hm. other mental health stuff to consider uh-huh. well. yes this is rather a complex issue I guess.#that doesn't cancel out the rest of this post but it does complicate it. anyone have any ideas????? please. I'd love to hear other thoughts
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