#i'd love to know if i actually did get covid and that's why everything got so much worse so suddenly

[arcadian-vampire]

Thinking abt the time I was doing my makeup in the mirror, and paused like 'wait this looks familiar, who do I remind myself of'

It was Howl Smovingcastle. I looked like Howl Smovingcastle

[hellyeahsickaf]

Mad thinking about the family member that knows I'm chronically ill and have a compromised immune system but didn't want to take a covid test or see a doctor because they didn't want to accept a covid diagnosis which resulted in me becoming very ill back in like September and October?

Multiple times I told them they probably had covid and needed to see a doctor and they got defensive like "why do you want me to have covid so bad?!" Like what are you on about it's also about your health and wanting you to no longer have it if you do? For several weeks it was a back and forth where they were disgustingly ill and refused to get it checked out. Insisted on NyQuil and essential oils. I told them it's people like them out there killing people like me. And they have an immunocompromised boss and coworker? Their coworker was told by her doctor that she won't likely survive getting vaccinated with how severe her lupus is and it's a fucking miracle their stupidity didn't kill her

Told them they'll end up worse the longer they take to get treated with antivirals. Then when they didn't get better and then I got sick and they were just "wah I'm scared what do I do?" And I again was like "go to the fucking doctor???" And finally their stubborn ass did

I was pissed because I did everything right, I masked and cleaned fucking doorknobs and shit before I used them half the time but all it takes is using the same light switch or breathing the same air. Even worse was that they got another family member sick so staying well was that much harder for me. And the worst part was the audacity they had to blame the one family member that didn't get sick because they take public transit. But unlike them they don't go to gatherings and always wear a mask (2 or even 3 actually) and keeping me and others around them alive is one of the reasons why. The sick family member's explanation was that it was spread to me not by them being sick but via touch or clothing when the family member they scapegoated came home which is highly unlikely with the fact that they masked at all times, wash their hands, distanced a lot and even still mask in the house. I've never met someone more careful about it

They never gave me a reason as to why they took so long to see a doctor or why they were still stubborn when I said "please wear a mask and get tested I don't want to die because you're more scared of being told you have covid than killing the people you love with it". That would snap me out of my bullshit- hell even if it wasn't someone I cared about, even if I really disliked them honestly I'd still do the right thing? People are so fucking stupid dude you don't do that to someone you love. It made me worse in ways I haven't gotten better from, including perpetual postnasal drip and congestion but more importantly a fuckton of fatigue.

[majorproblems77]

Why do you love the Legend of Zelda? What first drew you to it?

Hmmm... This is a good question

Long story short - The puzzles and the characters.

The ramble here :D

So I first got into Zelda because I was looking for an open-world game I could sink a bunch of time into over Covid. ( I was a non essential worker so was not working at the time.)

So, when I found out that BOTW was a thing on my switch after my animal crossing phase was done I decided to give it a try. Having never played a Zelda game before I won't lie I was more in it for the exploration.

But then I started to think about it, I'd heard about the Zelda timeline and I had a friend back in school who was obsessed with the series and played it all the time when we were at his house.

After finishing BOTW and really enjoying how the mechanics and the dungeons I did a little digging. I'd heard that a lot of them were story-driven games and they are some of my fave games to play when I have the time to play them so I decided to look into it a little more.

Then Skyward Sword came across my desk so to speak.

As my first entry into the actual world of how a Zelda game works. (story based with dungeons that you follow a linear path to obtain for the most part) I FELL IN LOVE.

As you know I love Skyward Sword a healthy amount but when I say it flew into my top 5 in the first 5 hours of me playing it dear god I've never had a game change my mind about something so fast.

The characters, the atmosphere, the story, the puzzles, I love everything about it. It made me feel something again with story franchises that I'd not felt since playing The Mass Effect series.

As I continue to explore the worlds that are the Zelda universe and timeline I find myself drawn more and more to the characters and the puzzles. I love problem-solving in games and Zelda dungeons are challenging and I love it.

My most recent fave was Traversing through the City in the Sky from Twilight Princess. I LOVED trying to figure my way and puzzle my way through that. It was so much fun! (I always have something on hand just in case but most of the time as some things i defo needed a nudge but I love that. Because even then you get the satisfaction of being able to go OHHHHH when you get something figured out.

I love this franchise man, and im so happy that I get to experience these games. And that people are excited with me, and I love being able to solve these things at my pace and not feeling bad about it either. (Rather than some places where people just wonder why you can't understand something when you've never done it before.)

It's gained a special place in my heart. And I'm so glad I decided to pick it up over the other choice at the time. (Which now i can't even remember)

[thetideseternaltune]

Tagged by @rachaeljurassic to list 8 shows to get to know me!!! (These are in no particular order btw)

Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries: my current obsession, also the reason I realized I'm queer as fuck 🥰 Literally changed my life and I'm insanely happy and grateful for it. Mac/Rosie means more to me than any other pairing I've ever shipped and words cannot express how much I love them 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 I'm not crying you're crying

Wentworth: another current obsession. Came for Tammy, stayed for all the amazing characters (and Tammy. Obviously) A+ show for a newly-realized sapphic btw 😏 Fridget are forever my OTP, Kaz is my smol ball of fury, and I desperately wish we'd gotten to see her and Bea become friends 😭 You could make a drinking game for every actor who shows up who was also in MFMM except you'd probably die of alcohol poisoning 🤣

Supernatural: do I recommend anyone watch this show? Absolutely not. Did it have a profound impact on who I am that I am forever grateful for? 1000% 🥰 The show that got me through the worst of my depression, the show that got me writing more fanfic than I'd ever written before, and of course, Destiel, aka the other pairing that's meant the most to me 🥰

Schitt's Creek: god I fucking love this show 🥹 It's absolutely amazing, hilarious, inclusive, lovely, beautiful, everything I adore. David/Patrick are my OTP and dear god do I have a crush on Alexis. Definitely one of my comfort shows 🥰🥰🥰

Parks and Rec: one of my oldest obsessions. Yes I am young, don't judge 😅 Ben/Leslie was... if not my first OTP, it was very close to it, and I'm pretty sure this is the show that introduced me to fanfic 😈 I have seen s3 so many times that there are multiple episodes I know by heart (long story) and there are so many episodes that make me cry and/or super emotional. This is another comfort show and I'm so glad that ppl (finally!) started giving it the recognition and love it deserved once it was almost over 😒

M*A*S*H: I have watched many classic tv shows, and this is by far my favorite. It's honestly one of the best shows ever made, and it's funny and poignant and emotional and I love it so much 🥹 Hawkeye and BJ are friendship goals and I will never stop referencing the spam lamb 😁

Elementary: best Sherlock Holmes adaptation imo and it's absolutely amazing 😍 The cases are wild and some in particular are actually genius, Jonny Lee Miller is incredible, Lucy Liu is incredible, everyone is incredible, and agh I love it so much! Not to spoil anything, but the Moriarty arc was ✨PERFECTION✨ Some of the best tv writing. And this is also a comfort show for me. (Is that weird? Probably 😂)

The Society: I will be forever sad that COVID got this canceled 😭😭😭 I need to know what happened! I need Sam and Grizz to be together! I need Elle to escape Campbell! I need Allie and Will to be freed! I wanna know who Eden's dad is! And who the fuck is Pfeiffer and why is their world in a different place in the universe and WHY CAN THE DOG CROSS BETWEEN WORLDS??????????? I NEED ANSWERS DAMMIT!

Tagging: @pigstubborn @three-seperate-johns @scruggzi @galadriel1010 @eternally-conflicted @know-the-way @midnight-els @leliesblou and anyone else who wants to do it!

[copyrightcreep]

You know the drill, all of the questions >:)

alright you evil critter. time to do the typing.

who is/are your comfort character(s)? Astarion and Karlach from bg3. space core from portal 2. Alex Danvers from supergirl. Luz and Vee from The Owl house.

lighter or matches? matches

do you leave the window open at night? sometimes. but usually, yes.

which cryptyd being do you believe in? werewolves and skinwalkers

what color are your eyes? mixture of green, blue/grey and brown

why did you do that?

hair-ties or scrunchies? hair ties

how many water bottles are in your room right now? 2. one i use for work and one for when i'm at home.

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee? hot coffee in the morning, ice coffee when relaxing

would you slaughter the rich? with much glee and different ways to do so yes.

favorite extracurricular activity? biking and people watching!

what kind of day is it? murder on the brain, pain in the limbs kinda day

when was the last time you ate? an actual meal? at 10 am. is 2 pm now.

do you love the smell of earth after it rains? yes.

are you a parent? (all answers qualify) of a bunny called Mochi. but not of human kids no.

can you drive? n o p e aha.

are you farsighted or nearsighted? near-sighted

what hair products do you use? shampoo, conditioner and a hair mask.

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails? if you asked. absolutely.

do you say soda or pop? f r i s d r a n k but soda in english

something you’ve kept since childhood? trauma. uh i mean. a stuffed animal i got since birth. his name is Mousey.

what type of person are you? i act very indifferent at 1st but i will flipping do anything if you get my trust. and i will share everything when safe.

how do you feel about chilly weather? love it. i can't feel cold all that well so i thrive in winter months.

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing? i'd bring snacks and a nice fluffy blanket maybe a picknick. talk and eat until night and then stargaze all night

perfume/body spray or lotion? body spray

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times? a lotta stuff. but i'll go with my mom's death since it's most recently been on my mind.

about how many hours of sleep did you get? uh. like 6?

do you wear a mask? during covid, yes. regularly? not unless it's required for work.

how do you like your shower water? a lil shy of burning my skin off

is there dishes in your room? yepp. kinda always are

what type of music keeps you grounded? 2 types. emotional stuff i relate to. and vibey music.

do you have a favorite towel? yes, it's a white one with rainbow squares. i love it!!

the last adventure you’ve been on? probs when i was a kid running trough the forest with my siblings.

is there a song you know every word to by heart? oh boy do i. nearly every song from icon for hire, smash into pieces and a bunch from Florence + the machine

what’s your timezone? CE(S)T. the S is for Summertime

how many times have you changed your url? nada on this blog haha

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years? no one i actively speak to. but @stephlastname comes the closest with like 7 years.

a soap bar that smells good? bars of soap elude me.

do you use lip balm? i should. but i don't

did you have any snacks today? had some chocolate snacks.

how do you take your coffee? 2 zoetjes or 1 packet of sugar and 2 milk.

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site? whatsapp and discord

what’s your take on spicy foods? occasionally very good. but my childhood makes it rough to enjoy them.

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it? Past: Hitler, Present: Putin, Personal: an old teacher who didn't 'believe' in adhd.

can you remember what happened yesterday? sorta, feels like walking trough mud to remember.

favorite holiday film? the 1st home alone

what was the last message you sent? dang right i want to!!

when did you first try an alcohol beverage? oh jeez. i tried wine when i was like 7 or 8. beer around the same time. somebody gave me a bunch of vodka when i was 17. i almost forgot the time where my mom let me drink a whole glass of bacardi cola when i was 9

can you skip rocks? NOPE. i flipping suck haha

can i tag you in random stuff? absolutely and please do!!

thanks for the askkkkkk

[celiastjamesoscar]

Lol yeah Mike should pay us for breaking our gay hearts and tormenting us with his beautiful but heartbreaking stories. LEXA IS A TRUE U-HAUL LESBIAN!! She saw something she liked and went for it. I'd love to have her conference. If there wouldn't have been a war then Lexa would have married Clarke immediately. YOU HAVE TO WATCH THE SHOW!!! IT'S FANTASTIC! (Aside from season 3 and the last 5 minutes)

HOUSE OF USHER WAS SO FUCKING GOOD!! I loved it. Everyone in this family was a gigantic asshole and they lowkey deserved their fate (not Camille though, she is mother and can't do anything wrong). The cinematography, the metaphors, the shots. Everything was so beautiful and once again Mike managed to create such a wonderful story with great horror elements. I love that guy. And I'm so happy that I called the "twist"/reason for everything that's happened around episode 4. Usually I suck at predictions but now I'm so proud of myself 😁 You really have to force your brother to watch Hill House! Everyone must see this masterpiece at least once in their lives.

My day was good. I had fantastic food for lunch, hung out with the chickens and binged House of Usher. And read many more Wanda/Nat fics...

Look at her. Why couldn't she have gotten more screen time 😭 https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJTkWVBe/

My tiktok is full of her now... https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJTBrwgL/

And to complete the hot trio, here is Mel https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJ7P3v1K/

I don't understand how one person can be so beautiful

Honestly, everyone should aspire to have Lexa’s confidence and her U-Haul lesbianism!!! I mean, Lexa basically did marry Clarke when she swore fealty to her in season 3!! I definitely do need to watch the rest of the show sometime!

THAT SHOW SO WAS FUCKING GOOD AND ONLY FOR 8 EPISODES?!?! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN 10!! Kate Siegel try not to serve cunt challenge (impossible)!!! I loved all of the little references to Edgar Allan Pie’s story, especially the name ‘Fortunato.’ I had to explain most of the references to Poe’s work to my brother because he never got to read them in 8 grade because that was his covid year sadly, but he really loved that show!! It took me a hot minute to guess the twist, but I eventually did around episode 6 😭 I’m probably going to rewatch it again but after I read Poe’s stories, just so I can get a better understanding of it. And oh my god, I actually ship Verna and Madeline!!! Her final monologue in episode 8 was peak Mike Flanagan, and every word was written to perfection! Trust me, my brother will watch Hill House whether he wants to or not!

I’m glad you had a good day and some fantastic food!! Reading Wanda/Nat fics is the best way to end a day!

ALL OF HER OUTFITS WERE AMAZING!! ESPECIALLY THAT ONE WITH THE SNAKES

Those are my two favorite eras of her hair!!! Winter Soldier and Civil War are chefs kiss 😩

I absolutely love Melissa so much, how can she be so hot?!??

Also, I don’t know if this is true or not, but I’ve heard some things about Mel not returning to play Sam in the Scream 7 🧍‍♀️ I don’t think it’s true, because Sam is the new face of the movies, but I don’t know…

[destinyc1020]

I'm not sure if you are responding to the Anon or to me, but I personally never said that Vanessa should stay home... I even made a joke about her getting her coins lol! 😅

I just said that I'm sure nobody would blame her if she did. 🤷🏾‍♀️

And yea, she did host the MET last year lol, and people were talking and making videos about how "awkward" it was for them.

Okay now you might need to get a comfortable chair lol....

I'm confused about this "he led her on" comment. How did he lead her on exactly? 🥴 They were in a relationship for like 8 or 9 years. They both loved each other. It's not like he was faking his feelings for her or something.

If he wasn't ready for marriage, or just didn't want to marry her, then it's actually best that they did split up! We honestly don't know what was going on in the relationship tbh. We don't know what conversations they had. If she wasn't okay with dating him or the status quo, she could have walked long time ago. Jmho. But she seemed happier than a clam. 😅 Plus, as a side note: I think it's important to remember that a lot of men tell you early on what the deal is. A lot of times though women don't listen, or they think, "Oh, I'll change him", or "he'll change his mind after x amount of years". Umm..NO lol. Men usually mean what they say, and say what they mean.

I just think it's good to keep in mind that we weren't in their relationship. We don't really know what they had discussed, or what was going on throughout their dating history. Actually, According to sources, they were contemplating marriage while they were dating each other before they broke up.🤷🏾‍♀️ Idk about you, but I believe People magazine over most other gossip pages (or silly fan rumors) because they usually have credible inside sources.

RE: Cheating... This is another thing...I keep hearing people say this (that Austin cheated on her), but anytime I ask for receipts, nobody seems to have them. Please send me the receipts so that I can take a look at them.

I honestly don't know for sure if he cheated... But I can tell you some things that don't add up to me though...

Ashley Tisdale (who got the two of them together) still follows Vanessa, and Vanessa still follows her. Ashley is also still very close to Austin. Explain that, if he cheated on Vanessa? You know that women usually side with the woman if a man cheats. And she knew Vanessa before she knew Austin. So explain this.

Vanessa's sister ALSO still follows Austin. Why is that?? If he cheated on her fleshly sister, why is she still following him, especially when Vanessa and Austin have already long-since unfollowed each other? 🥴 I know if some dude who was with my sister for almost a decade CHEATED on my sister, there's no way I'd still be following him. 😤

Vanessa still follows his sister, and his sister still follows her. Not that social media means everything, but usually this is not typically the case if there's been infidelity going on. His sister is not famous, so unfollowing her (and vice versa) wouldn't even be a big deal.

Vanessa and Olivia have hung out (after Elvis filming) and seem to be quite friendly... Again, very WEIRD behavior from Vanessa if Austin indeed cheated on Vanessa with Olivia (no less) wouldn't you think? 👀

I'm just saying, things aren't really adding up to me. Either that or they are some weirdos lol. 😅

Personally? I think Aus and Vanessa probably split up maybe some time around late Nov 2019...or maybe early Dec 2019? She supposedly also celebrated her birthday and Christmas w/out him, so that might also lead to the assumption that maybe they were already broken up by then? Remember, covid and lockdown wasn't even a thing in 2019, and "Elvis" didn't really start filming until around early 2020. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I actually also suspect that their breakup may have started off as just a "break" (perhaps he felt like he couldn't really devote time to her and this intense role? I have no clue), and maybe there was hope on V's end that they would reconcile, but over time maybe he felt like it was just over. I also think he rebounded with Olivia (his co-star). I definitely feel Vanessa was hurt the most, and you can tell she was probably not expecting things to turn out the way they did...this is just my personal opinion based on some of the things I've observed. But the reality is, when two people break up (especially when you've been together for that long), it's actually painful for both people. This is someone you shared so much of your life with.

Anyway, IF Austin DID indeed cheat on Vanessa, then that was very bad of him to do so, and it wouldn't have been right at all...especially not on someone you've been w/for almost a decade. Look, I'm freely open to believing that he did cheat, but I still have yet to find any actual credible evidence that he did so. You all know me by now... I like to look at actual FACTS. That's just how I am. 🤷🏾‍♀️ It seems like it's mostly fans who are spreading this allegation around for some reason. I have said this many times before and I'll say it again... We really don't know what is going on in people's relationships, esp people we don't even know irl. That's why I usually tend to stay somewhat neutral about things and just wait for more credible info to come out before automatically believing everything I read online or jumping to negative conclusions. It's one thing to gossip about people or playfully sip some "tea", and another thing completely to start actually believing everything you read online and spreading it like it's fact when it's just hearsay or "he said"/"she said".

If I'm not in a relationship, I just respect that the two people who were actually involved in the relationship know exactly what went down and know each other much better than I do! IF credible info comes out that he indeed cheated on her (I'm still waiting for Vanessa to spill some tea lol👀), then we can drag him by his edges lol. 😅🤣

[clinicallyinvisible]

No matter what I do, I can't win. My partner goes looking for something to fight with me about. And I know it's just because he's frustrated and angry and doesn't know how else to deal with his feelings so he takes it out on me. He's going to counseling and I've tried to give him solutions to things, but he makes absolutely no effort to work on himself. Instead of listening to me when I say something is wrong or something he did hurt me he plays victim and does the whole "everything I say/do is wrong boo hoo poor me" and I don't engage with that shit anymore.

When covid started and I quit my job I was on EI for a while and then went back to school. Yeah, I slacked on the housework and struggled to get things done. I was depressed. Instead of trying to help me he just shamed me and scolded me and fought with me over it. Now he's been having a depressive period and is doing a lot of sitting around and playing video games and god forbid I try to help him by giving him something to do and getting him off his ass. I asked him to clean with me this morning and he complained the entire time and picked a fight with me. It was such a travesty that I was telling him he wasn't doing enough because there was a time that I was not doing enough and by that logic I should let him do the same thing I did. Difference being that back then and still today I have always done more than him around the house. Always. And I work more than he does now.

Like sure, I get why he's upset, but isn't it hypocritical of him to reverse the roles at this point? Like I got better and am actually doing a damn good job compared to before and instead of seeing that and appreciating that he thinks now it's his turn to do nothing and because he makes more money than me he seems to think that's fair. Like no. If you're gonna be on your ass at home while I'm at work you can pick up some slack at home. I still do most of the cleaning, all the cooking, and am primary caretaker of our 5 pets. But god forbid I ask him to spend just an hour or two cleaning with me on a Saturday morning.

Time and time again he has disregarded boundaries I've set and I've reminded him of the boundary when he crosses it and then he crosses it again and again. I give him so many chances and he constantly disrespects me.

I'm done. I've decided I'm done. I love him deeply and he's my best friend, but I can't be in a relationship with him anymore. I'm going to ask him to move out. Which is only fair because he owns 2 houses, neither of which are the one we live in. We rent this place. He refused to buy us a house, just kept putting tenants into the houses he bought. Which is fine because otherwise I'd have nowhere else to go so it worked out for me. He can kick one of his tenants out and I'll stay here. I'm happy to still be his friend, but I don't want to be his "girlfriend" anymore.

I just need to be alone. I just need to get some space. I feel suffocated at this point. He's so mean to me and yet I think he can tell I'm pulling away because of it so then he gets physically clingy and affectionate, which just doesn't interest me right now.

And I'm sad. I'm sad that we couldn't make it work, but I have tried so hard for 5 years and he has not put nearly as much effort in as I have and he just refuses to give me very much. It feels unfair and I feel alone anyway. Alone, but suffocated. It hurts that he doesn't love me the way I need to be loved and it hurts that I have given so much and gotten so little back. It hurts to not be listened to and to be so disrespected by the one person that is supposed to support and love me.

I am finally in a place in my life where I have a good job and good friends and finally have direction. But instead of coming with me down the path he just clings to my leg and holds me back. He won't grow up and he won't move forward. I have to leave him behind. And it sucks that I have to do that, but it's what will be best for me.

[luthienmpl]

I'm so sorry pls ignore me if I get annoying I'll just leave some annotations (I was completely normal when I watched LiT but then Century of Love got me with the brainrot and then youtube started suggesting me things and I was like "wait, they're.... they're Thai Haobin? oh.... ok...." and now I'm just hopeless. ;___;)

wait, enlistment?? huh i did not know thailand also did that… is it the same as skorea?

not everyone has to go, they do a public muster in the villages/districts and the eligible guys have to draw from a lottery. If the card is black, you get to stay home, if it's red you're shit out of luck. Daou was unlucky that day. He had to take part in about 3 months of basic training but afterwards only had to come in occasionally for events and camps and stuff. His official enlistment is actually only about to end this month, he's been growing out the buzzcut lately. (he was wearing a wig in Love in Translation. They made him do promo with it on 😫)

"pentor looks SO FAMILIAR and i can't figure out why??? ;A; is he in something else??"

You like FortPeat? Well 😌

He also will be competing in a new Kpop survival show called Starlight Boys on IQIYI soon if that's your thing. Speaking of if that's your thing, the entirety of LazIcon is subbed on Bilibili.

Diamond their maknae very recently dropped a solo single:

On Daou's background: his parents ran a Chinese opera house so he's been singing since he was a kid (and it certainly seems to run in the family). He was in a music club during uni and used to make most of his income by singing in bars. He tried twice to get a spot on Chinese survival shows and spent about 4 months (I think? someone cmiiw) getting some training while he was there, but both shows fell through due to Covid.

My personal favorite of his:

On their honorifics: Offroad mostly calls him P'Ou (that's his original name, he became Da-Ou because there were two more Ous competing in LazIcon) with the occasional Ter thrown in. Daou fluctuates mostly between nong, nuu, and Offroad/Road.

Maybe don't call them phi-nong though. At least not on twitter where Daou can see (he sees everything, man has never touched grass in his life)

When referring to each other they mostly resort to the English "partner". Which, ngl, every time they do I think of this:

and I'd really love to hear the opinion of a native Thai speaker about it at some point.

cries* what is this... poolside actual love confession proposal with rings and pLANNING to commemorate their.. working.. relationship!?!? i'm??

Daou lost his ring back in late June, it yeeted itself off his finger during a stage performance and they couldn't find it afterwards (there's video clips of it going flying). No worries though, Offroad got him a new one the day before the Century of Love final.

Daou was happy about it I guess? 🤷‍♀️

wait both their shows are comphet the series? xDDDD they just swapped who was suffering from it.

they both get over it by ep 5 if that helps any. and while Century of Love definitely has more than enough angst, being a lakorn and all, there's also plenty of fun to be had.

also it's. uh. it's The One With The Fox.

If that helps any. 👀

oh oh my gosh they have auntie fans too??? how adorableeeee!!!?!

@btwinlines has some great (spoiler warning in-depth discussion of Century of Love with screenshots and gifs)posts about that (this one is save) particular topic

now.... how much do i care about looking delulu in public. hm. eh, fuck it.

this is either zero attempt at being subtle or the best cp marketing i've seen in my life wow

I couldn't find the relevant clip as its own video on youtube and i'm too dumb to embed tiktok correctly so just watch the interview bit that starts at 0:50 pls

Daou with his whole chest: "Koojin is a slur actually"

I'm just. I'm just gonna go now. Sorry again.

an introduction to daouoffroad: a record (mostly for me)

so, the lovely @luthienmpl was very kind and gave me a daouoffroad starter pack so i'm gonna learn about them!

i adore finding out about something this way because it's like someone shared their love of The Thing with me! how lovely! how lucky to catch a glimpse of how much joy The Thing gives someone else!!

this is literally just random stream of consciousness thoughts as i watch the videos so i'll spare anyone who isn't interested and put it under a cut.

oh my god they met as contestants on a survival boyband show wtf!? what kind of fanfic kdrama au start is this already!?

ok damn but daou's runs tho :O <3

nooooooo offroad is crying and thanking daou for his support how dARE YOU TOY WITH MY HEART LIKE THIS!? ;A;

ohmygosh is that the actress who plays P'Joy in LITA??? <3

fuck, the pressing the face into the tummy of the one standing thing. why is that so cute. ugh D:<

waitwaitWAIT is that a thing? do directors just... write stories/shows for couples who have good chemistry whatttt?? is this like a thai ent industry staple? (oh i guess mame kind of did that with fortpeat/mutrak) that's so funny omg. xDDD

laz1 is so kpop styled :O and i must add Last Kiss to my playlist imMEDIATELY its such a pretty song?? <3333

thiS BRIDGE i AM FEELING IT!?!?! DAOU WHAT IS THAT RIFF!?!??! HOLY SHIT THAT WAS SUCH A SMOOTH TRANSITION UP TO THE HIGH NOTE!? *O* <3

(was daou already an established singer before or something?? boy has pIPES!)

*faintly* d-did he try to... bite... the cat's... paw??

/SCREAMS nO THE HARMONIES yeah ok i'm a fan weLP THA TWAS QUICK

(i'm such a sucker for vocal line groups ugh dammit TwT)

wait, enlistment?? huh i did not know thailand also did that... is it the same as skorea?

oh-- oh my god he sent flowers? through his sister?? *whispers* that's so sweet ;u;

goodness, offroad literally running and jumping into daou's arms while daou is still in military fatigues-- guys this is either zero attempt at being subtle or the best cp marketing i've seen in my life wow

awww did offroad bring his graduation gown to the event just so he could get pics with daou?? that's so cute! ;A;

okAY SIR?? SIR NO the sleeping right pressed up to offroad as he pretends to snore but like daou is just paSSED OUT HALF ON TOP OF HIm NO SIR NO I CANNOT HANDLE THIS NOPE BYE

(the cut right as daou reaches up to shut offroad up had me cracking up tho, they've got a wicked sense of humour i really like them)

ahahahah the members playing along is really cute!! poor daou has to be relegated to the "jealous bf" -- this is SO interesting to watch coming out of old kpop fandom and kpop skinship to this xD like... i am enLIGHTEND *O*

*cries* what is this... poolside actual love confession proposal with rings and pLANNING to commemorate their.. working.. relationship!?!? i'm??? they are so LOUD wtf-- i'm not... used to this... !?! *incoherent noises*

sidebar: i'm struggling to get a handle on their honorifics... are they phi/nong? but sometimes dauo sounds like he's using mueng/guu when he addresses offroad directly?

ljsdfjsLfj THE FACE. IN THE TUMMY. ITS BACK <3

OH FUCK OFFROAD WITH THE ASH HAIR. *O* YEAH YEAH OKOKOK i'M NORMAL ABOUT THIS!!!!

oh oh NO did daou just push offroad to the inside of the road so he's on the outside like that's--t hat's so boyfriend coded wtf

bahahaHAHAH is offroad going on about the bracelet because now daou *has* to buy one for him? xD what a smart cookie. xDDD

wAIT DID IT WORK!? PAHAHA--

other thoughts:

pentor looks SO FAMILIAR and i can't figure out why??? ;A; is he in something else?? i'm so confused but i think i love him already WHAT AN ADORABLE DIMPLED BOI *O*

i know you included the Whats The Matter? MV but I'm sorry I'm going to live in Last Kiss for like the next 5 days especially thAT BRIDGE WTF <3

the acoustic/live version is so PRETTY omg ;A; that 3 part harmony in the first chorus *chefs kiss*

sOMEONE is doing like a really high harmony in the pre-chorus and its so thin and wispy and pRETTY ahhh <3

although also ngl i think daou needs maybe some more vocal training he sounds quite strained sometimes... and he's got a lot of tension in his throat but good GOD his range!! he's SO talented wtf; ALSO their youngest member has SUCH a nice tone UGH <33333

their 2 shows:

ok love in translation actually sounds like exactly my cup of tea hahahah it looks so cute <3 and potentially heartbreaking but like not TOO heartbreaking

century of love... yeah ok i'm gonna put that on my list of things to get to when i'm in the right headspace for that kind of angst but what an interesting concept!! its like comphet, the series. xD

wait both their shows are comphet the series? xDDDD they just swapped who was suffering from it.

hoboy they are SO LOUD already from the beginning wtf

(sidenote but I would KILL for fortpeat to go on something like this cAN YOU IMAGINE the sHINANIGANS!! peat being so happy at all the food. fort's teasing. ugh. where can i start a petition ya'll)

the heIGHT DIFFERENCE am i'm feeling some type of way about it, yes yes i am

bAHAHAH the mandatory piggyback ride that they actually just SAY is boyfriend material i'm-- i'm not use do this lack of wink wink nudge nudge skinship approach in my boyband duos like?? *confused noises pt 2*

oh oh my gosh they have auntie fans too??? how adorableeeee!!!?! damn offroad sounds so soft in southern dialect idk whats going on my ears are blessed *u* <3

I don't know why but daou's "Try traditional snack!" made me crack up xDDDD

i have just realised what a mistake it was to start this on an empty stomach T___T that all looks SO GOOD wtf

lol that poor lady with the corgi's just wanted to go on her way and she got way-landed by these insane boys xDD

wft the nUZZING INTO THE NECK THING. IT S STILL. SO MUCH. IHAVE FEELIGNS ABOUT THIS MOMENT Tu T <3

guYS-- GUYS you said you both paid half... so you don't... you don't still need to do the cheek kisse-- oh nevermind you did them already ok then

i mean ok but for real tho the amount of times offroad just cracks up at somethign random daou does is genuinely really sweet?? like they seem to really have this wavelength that is just their own *u*

[flashyourgreeneyesatme]

Sick as a dog. <Bradley Bradshaw x reader>

This is my first published piece of writing but my baby, Reese Withoutaspoon aka @greatbigshiningstar is sick with Covid, and I want to make her feel better even if I’m not where near her. Love you doll hope you can imagine Roost with this.

I hope you enjoy and anytime any one of you are sick just remember Bradley would buy you your favourite soup and cut your bread exactly the way you like it!

pairing: Bradley Bradshaw x (f)reader

word count: 1846

warnings: Mentions of feeling and being sick, Bradley’s awful dad jokes, way too many curse words and sexual references (if you really squint hard enough – haha hard)

summary: The reader is home sick from the flu she got from work (can be whatever job you want I’m not going to explicitly describe what job she does) and wants to just curl up and die. Will Rooster let her be alone? No! He protect. He attack. He’s got his baby’s back! Just a cute little drabble of Bradley looking after her.

Pain. Pain is all I could feel, coursing through my body and destroying everything in its path. It's like if you gave the basic flu weapons and said, 'have at it!'. Now all I can think about are cartoon germs with machine guns shooting at my immune system until there is nothing left to destroy. Now, I'm an averagely smart person I obviously know that they don't have weapons and aren't shooting me from the inside but right now if you told me to stand up straight and count to ten, I'd be doing the macarena and wouldn't even notice the difference. I go to cuddle my pillow until I realise, I'm not even in bed I'm in my car and have been since 3 pm. 4 hours in my car just sitting there. No music. No phone. Just sitting. When did I get home? How did I get home? Did I accidentally kill anyone on my way home? I guess we'll never know.

I decide that I need to go inside and curl up and live my life in a quarantine-like staycation where I will not be talking to anyone, my best friend will be my cold bathroom floor and kid's drowsy cough medicine because I only like the strawberry flavour and apparently adult medicine manufacturers thought Let's make it taste worse than their own vomit and make them take it 3-4 times a day. Yeah, no thanks I'm okay with my kiddie medication, maybe that's why I'm always asked for parenting advice by new mums in the pharmacy. By the time I actually am able to get my dead legs out of the car, it's been 27 minutes and I stumble into my shitty home like a newborn deer learning to walk. All because of Jaida from work.

That bitch Jaida can get the flu, have a few sniffles and get on with the day. But puts everyone else at risk. Like okay, Jaida you've got a good immune system we get it! She gets to continue her day whereas I am reenacting the exorcist when I even try to drink water.  How is it fair? I enjoy my job. I want to be at my job. I unscrew the top of the medicine bottle and simply drink it like it's an energy drink, the door to my bedroom opens and I just lay on the bed. 

Suddenly I hear the front door open once again. All this time I've been thinking about myself when I forget I share this shitty home with my amazing boyfriend who has such an important job and if he gets sick, what if he can't go out on a flight and countless people die because of it? Okay nope, he's not allowed near me it is decided I am going to reenact another film, Contagion. 

"Honey I'm home!" I hear the naval officer yell throughout the house. The silence is deafening in response. He starts whistling about as if his version of echolocation will be able to locate me within the house. I stand up to back myself against the door so he cannot enter which feels like the biggest task I've ever completed. I hear him try to push the bedroom door open and fail imminently. "Why are you up against the door? Are you naked? You know I don't mind it's nothing I haven't seen before." He goes to push against the door once again.

"I'm not naked. I'm sick." I weakly croak out just enough for him to hear.

"Okay? So are you going to let me in or?" His voice is laced with confusion, boy take a hint, I love you but not happening. 

"I'm not letting you in because if you get sick you might not be able to work and if you can't work then Mav might personally send firing jets to shoot me." He can tell there's a frown on my face even behind the oak door. By now I'm sitting on the floor leaning against the door because all my energy is drained. I hear Rooster's knees drop to the floor and look to see him looking through the gap at the bottom of the heavy door and hear a little giggle. "Fuck off it's not funny!" I can't help but laugh which causes my chest and throat to hurt more. "I'm dying of influenza in here and you're laughing about me. Some widow you'd make Bradshaw." Again a fucking giggle easily escapes that man's mouth. 

"Right then if you're dying might as well get some things I've been meaning to say for a long time but never had the courage to say." He sighs and sits with his back to the door as I am also doing. A light tension fills the air. "You're a stupid bitch and I hate you. You're ugly too." 

"Right now I want you to get sick you dickhead." I lightly hit the door soon realising that hurt my whole body more than I reckoned. 

"Then open the door all you have to do is open the door and let me get my karma." His voice sounds tempting. He's got that charm that could sell the internet to an elephant. Not sure if that makes sense but I'm feeling like dumbo on wine right now so I don't really mind if my idiom makes sense or not. That man knows exactly what he's doing. Is it reverse psychology or is it gaslighting either way it's super enticing. I push myself off the floor and open the door. "Ah, a hideous monster!" He yells as I open the door. Bradley sees the upset and frustration on my face and knows I'm about to slam this door in his face. "Wait no! I'm sorry!" Allowing him to walk into our shared bedroom felt illegal to me. I keep my distance from him baking away as far as I can go before hitting the bed that stood in the centre of the room. "Am I not allowed to be near you?" I shake my head in response. 

"I'm not getting you sick dude that would fucking suck! And you're a child when you're sick so I'm not willing to play nurse. Love you, not that much." Rooster puts his hands up in a surrender-like fashion and stays where he is. His dark brown eyes scan me up and down. "Stop looking at me like that." 

"Like what?"

"Like I'm a dying puppy." My lips form into a pout. 

"I want to look after you. That's all I want. I won't come near you I promise." His fingers form into a cross behind his back.

"And how do you propose that you can look after me without coming near me." I'm sceptical about his methods.

"Get into bed." A little smile forms on his face.

"I don't see how having sex is going to help bud." Scoffs pass his lips as he has given up with my bullshit. Before I can even process what is happening his long arms have been placed onto my shoulders and pushed my back onto the mattress. A small yelp escapes my lips. "I have no energy for this." I feel the mattress consume my weight as I sink in slowly but surely. 

"Get under the duvet and I'll be back." He's off! The room is suddenly quiet as I give in to his demands and get settled under the heavy duvet which I can't decide if it's too hot or too cold for it. The first noise I hear is the fumbling noise of the cupboards and then the slamming of them. Instead of Bradley coming back to the room the front door once again opens and closes. I want to get up and see where he has gone but this bed has grown more comfortable by the second and not to my recollection my eyes start to close and I doze off. 

I don't know how long it's been while I've been sleeping but I am slowly awoken by the smell of rich chicken wafting its way from the kitchen. My eyes slowly open and I am alerted by Bradley's figure standing in the doorway. My body does a small tense reaction to his terrifying stature. "Hey, sleepysauras. Temp check!" He works his way over to my still comatose body and sticks a thermometer into my mouth. A hmmm noise comes from my chest as I feel the cool plastic on my tongue. "Okay! 101*. You, little lady, have a fever."

"That's mean." My eyes roll around my head. 

"I made cheddar broccoli soup. Just for you. Because I love you!" I stick my middle finger up at him. His laughs fill the house as he goes to fetch the amazing-smelling soup from the kitchen. The soup enters the room before he does as he is holding it out at an arm's length. "So I don't have to come near you!" Weak fake laughs come from my mouth. The tray is set on my lap and the bread is cut my way. "Even though I'm pretty sure it's a felony I cut it horizontally because you're sick and I have to spoil you." I try not to break out into a smile and or cry because it is so stinking cute. "Now eat it up."

"Yes sir, Lieutenant Bradshaw, sir!" I give him a small salute. He goes to leave, "What you're not going to spoon-feed me as well?" He stops in his tracks and does a little 180* spin on the spot. The speed of his run could be considered inhuman, he could put the flash to shame. Instead of simply walking around the bed as a normal person would, Bradley leapfrogs over my side of the bed to his side. The metal spoon is lifted from the white ceramic bowl into his hands.

"I'm going to be honest with you I have already taster tested a lot of this soup. For your protection of course." My head shakes up and down in a mocking gesture.

"My hero!" Rooster's lips move closer to the spoon, which holds the cheddar broccoli soup, and lightly blows on it. Aeroplane-like noises advance from the aviator's lips as he spoon feeds me like a child. "It's nice." Dark brown eyes squint at my choice of words. "It's delicious, Gordon Ramsey would be proud!" Pride fills his expression as he seems very impressed with his amazing cooking. As I demolish the food in front of me my stomach churns only slightly enough to make me gag but not to be physically sick. Rooster goes white as a ghost in front of me, not very well-known fact is that Roost is a huge Emetophobic. Reassurance washes over his pale complexion as he realises I wasn't going to throw up.

My anxieties of not wanting to get him sick are gone as I open up the duvet for him to get underneath with me. He willingly does so and joins our bodies together. The warmth from his body and his arm wrapped around me sends me back to sleep. 

I hope you enjoyed!

[dystopiandilfs]

Dream's discord podcast. Basically him answering questions for 2.5 hours. This will sort of be in order but I fucked up my notes so it might not be in order completely. (From 13th May 2021)

For reference the photos at the end are: A prototype of fidget spinner merch as loads of people asked, a reference photo of his favourite merch and a photo he sent of his hair to prove he wasn't a brunette.

•He said his teeth are mostly straight but he's thought about getting Invisalign. He's never had braces. He has a tiny gap in the left side of his mouth and his canines are longer and sharper (vampire arc). He's never had teeth surgery so has his wisdom teeth still.

•He thinks pineapple on pizza is good.

•He likes seafood like lobster and crab. He had crab made in an air fryer last night. He like peas. He thinks quesadillas are good and likes most food.

•He hates Coffee and most drinks

•The Dream Shorts team is Ken who is his personal reminder (Ken's main job is to spam him with texts so he doesn't forget things as he's got a habit of reading texts and not replying) and also comes up with a list of sets for Dream shorts. The builder is a friend and munchymc builder "his talent gets wasted on Dream's shorts but we pay him so"

•His editors are currently Dizzy, Firesale and Mjcr. Willz doesn't edit for him anymore

•The mask animation isn't done but Mask should be released May 21st. He wants to release them together as "the whole song is a double meaning and the whole nuance will be lost without the animation" but no matter if the animation is done the song is getting released on the 21st.

•He and Sapnap eat together often.

•He and Sapnap prefer medium rare Steak

•He wants a home gym it's something he's willing to splurge on. They currently have a weight rack but they haven't even set it up.

•"Eat the rich? Shut up shut up" - Dream

•Talked about money basically saying "Most people don't understand how money works I don't have millions in my bank account it's in assets like merch, land and warehousing for that stuff" (He's not in his landlord arc)

•He's been debating Pride Merch because of Rainbow Capitalism. He doesn't want it too be seen as a money maker and if he does most proceeds would go to charity. He's currently super busy merch wise with Sapnap joining and George in the middle of joining. He did say "Only if the LGBTQ+ community in this community wants it" He thinks he's going to at least change the merch website to a pride one. Sapnap wants to make pride merch including a rainbow flame on his.

•He wants to create a charity that's centered around helping LGBTQ+ one day because he thinks that there's a lack of them. He mentioned that creating a charity was expensive and took a lot and was a complicated process including a board of directors but he wants to do it someday.

•He wanted to buy a bunch of houses in Florida which was a service to house mostly LGBTQ+ youth and people stuck in abusive households for free to get them out of bad home environments. But he didn't because he didn't want people thinking he was profiting of of abuse victims and LGBTQ+ community.

•He said he's terrible with time management and replying to people which is why Ken helps him (and also helps George and Sapnap). He mentioned how Sam messaged multiple times and Dream just forgot to answer but felt bad "I feel like people think I hate them..... Cause I'd be mad if people did that to me"

•He tries to reply to a few texts a day (community number). He also can't do birthday messages everyday because you can only reply at certain times so it's not abusing the system so if you get one it's special. He said he does try but it's got a weird time gap.

•Him and the manhunt winner are trying to come up with a good time to film

•He wants to stream this MCC on twitch and says his team is good.

•He talks about why he's not partnered with Twitch. Basically Twitch has a lock rate (in which you make money) and you legally can't stream on YouTube. So legally if Tommy wanted to stream on YouTube he couldn't. Someone then mentioned how Bad is a twitch partner but still streams on YouTube "Bad streams on YouTube but he has for a while and I don't think that he cares" - Dream

•He likes to reply to every donation he gets on stream and feels bad when he doesn't so he'll turn them off when he streams and wants a platform deal where he can be payed to stream (not twitch). If he gets a streaming partnership he will stream a couple of times a week. He looked in to Facebook but they don't have an alias system meaning you can see everyone's actual Facebook account and personal info, he doesn't like seeing real names on Facebook so it would require a lot of altering if he was to stream there so he's thinking it's probably going to be YouTube.

•He was asked about if his demographic was what he expected and he said he went in with no expectations, he didn't even know what stans were, wasn't really on social media so he wasn't aware of the fan culture. "You guys are a handful sometimes but it's worth it"

•He also mentioned how he and the DreamSMP changed the twitch audience demographic. It used to be male dominated in both streamers and audience and now it's almost split which is unheard on.

•He has 5 fidget spinners in his house. Two in his bedroom. Two in his office. One in the living room.

•He likes his Minecraft skin as he thinks the arm is cook and you never see the rest of his skin really. He says it's unique and different and "me". Dream: You can't even tell half the skins apart on MC.

•He's not lost the motivation to stream. Most of the times if he wants to stream he gets George or Sapnap to do it and he just turns up. It's more beneficial to them as they have donos and subs on. (Don't we fucking know it "can you say hi to")

•He has listened to Lovejoy. Says the ep was great and they're very talented and awesome. Doesn't know what his favourite song is but probably would pick One Day because the chorus slaps.

•RIP to acoustic Roadtrip. He said instead of acoustic Roadtrip we get Mask so no losses today for Dream stans.

•"With Roadtrip I went to Parker and I said Hey I have a story I want to tell through music. I have no experience with that can you help me" He said sure. He crafted the music and melodies and how things are formed where it's catchy. I have less comfort singing that. I love the song and it's my song, it's very representative of me and I'm sure I could sing it but it's a song I'd be kinds of scared to sing live, with Mask I basically did everything. I sat there the entire time and maybe an hour out if the 100 I wasn't in the call. Dream came up with the lyrics and main melody for Mask (First one he's ever come up with) "That was just notes in my fucking voice memos"

•The clip we heard of Mask was a prechorus not the actual chorus. He thinks he'd be more comfortable to do a mask acoustic and it's more melodic than Roadtrip. The chorus also has a lot of instruments similar to Roadtrip. Mask starts of slow and guitar with minimal reverb and is more raw.

• He doesn't want music to be his main thing. It's something fun to do and he's passionate about it as it's a way to express emotions. He wants to release mask then go from there. He wants to release at least one more song but has nothing on his mind currently. His two ideas were Roadtrip and Mask.

•He wouldn't quit his job to become a pizza delivery man.

•His favourite features on himself are eyes or freckles and he also confirmed that he does have eyebrows.

•He was told that Parkour warrior would be bought back some time in the near future and he got excited for it. "Even if I don't win, which I will, it'll be fun"

•Went on about his MCC team but I'm not going to put that in as we should be getting them today. He did say he wasn't on Pink but he did sound confused. (For reference he's always in Pink as it's the last team announced and keeps the hype up by announcing the biggest streamer last)

•Said he and his mum had the Mr Beast burger. He recommends because he likes the avacado. He mentioned how Mr Beast uses "Ghost Kitchens" which is basically where he gives restaurants permission to cook his food so it's restaurant quality food.

•His favourite piece of merch is the circle smile. (The pool photo on Instagram). He said the quality was bad (he worked with a different company and didn't have his own company) and it was elasticy feeling and he's planning on re-releasing it again but with good quality.

•He's started to send merch out in custom packaging. So his bags have the smile and will mostly be green. Sapnap's has the flame and is either black or white. He's also trying to make it so every order has the sticker packs for both him and Sapnap.

•He loves the coins as it's cheaper than a hoodie but still celebrates the milestones and will last a long time. He mentioned how the old coins are getting removed off the site and how if you have any of the coins your special because only a few thousand get made. He's kept around 100 of each coin that he wants to give away in person.

•He wanted to have a cool store where you could access computers that give you access to the DreamSMP in spectator mode. But it's too costly and would require too much time and isn't safe fight now. He doesn't think it'd be worth it financially.

•Most of the hoodie are black instead of multiple colours because of limited supply and covid. Getting the colours are harder because if the pandemic which hopefully won't be an issue soon.

•He wants to do a short meetup tour with Sapnap and George with a few locations in the US (and if others nearby want to join like Quackity or Karl they can). He also wants to visit Australia, UK, Canada, Mexico and Philippines and do something like that there but definitely at least visit with George and Sapnap.

•He's never been to the Philippines but his mum has. He wants to set up a place in the Philippines where he can ship merch in bulk and it would help to reduce shipping. However it would probably be big milestone merch.

•He's not got the vaccine yet but will get it when he needs to. He doesn't leave the house so he doesn't see the point.

•He's the ideas man. George's footcam video was Dream's idea. The T-shirt video was Dream's idea. Most if not all of the Dream Team's videos are Dream's ideas.

•Said he's got a similar/the same hair colour as Froy (Dream buddy at this point the only difference between you and Froy is that one of you is dating Richard Madden /lh)

[thiserichann]

cookies and cream - lee jeno

reader x jeno

genre: smut, strangers to fuck buddies, humor if you squint hard enough

word count: 4k-ish

warnings: recklessness (she met with a stranger online, don’t do it kids) excessive lying, 18+ scenes that includes: oral (f receiving) face riding, soft dom!jeno?

This is merely a work of fiction and is not meant to hurt the image of Jeno and NCT. Again, don’t be as reckless as OP. This was just a fantasy of mine that I’ve been dying to get out of my system.

Holy fuck.

That's the only word that you've managed to utter when you decided to check your messages that morning.

You got bored in the middle of the class and decided to sneak a peek on your phone to pass the time. The class is recorded anyways so you can always just go back to the parts of the lessons that you've missed.

But holy fuck.

You never expected to see THAT so early in the morning.

"Miss Y/N?"

You snapped back to reality and stopped malfunctioning for a second when somebody called your name. Everyone including your professor remained quiet and all eyes are on you.

"Oh. Sir what’s the question again?"

You answered nervously as you tried to review your notes and backtrack on what he is discussing a few moments ago.

"I see that you're distracted in the middle of my class again. Mind sharing what you're occupied with?"

"Uhm. I was watching KPOP fancams, sir."

"Fancams won't get you into law school, Miss Y/N. Phones off please."

You tucked your phone back to your pocket and never picked it up again since. The professor started blabbering again but no information is being retained on your head. It stayed that way at your other classes.

You wished you were looking at some KPOP fancams earlier. You’ve watched fancams at class before and got away with it unscathed.

Oh no. It was a goddamn dick pic.

A good one, too.

It was from a guy that you met in a kink site a few days ago. You created the account out of boredom and expected nothing to come out from it. It’s all the flirting and sexting without all the unnecessary commitment

It only took you a few minutes to set up an account. For some privacy, you made a random birthdate and a random nickname, because like hell would you share your real information to these people. You also picked a racy picture of a lady that looked a bit like you and passed it off as your own.

Within minutes, your inbox is flooded with messages. Most of them, however, are from men who are old enough to be your father.

Well, you were bored, so you entertained everyone and then went on back to your boring, vanilla life. A few political history and theory books later, you went back to see which ones messaged you on the site.

And that's where you've met him.

The most gorgeous piece of meat alive.

He seems like a nice guy. He introduced himself as LJ and your age aren’t that far off from each other. LJ is the only one who actually engaged in conversation besides "want to fuck?" or "are you horny?"

As soon as you started messaging back and forth, you scrolled on his profile to see what he looks like. The only thing is, his profile looked a whole lot like those high fashion male underwear photoshoots.

It was an array topless pictures (presumably his, you just can’t be bothered to check if it is actually his). It featured his sculpted abs and biceps, cropped up all the way to his full lips. Despite not seeing his whole face, you knew very well that he’s a hunk. To say you were intrigued is an understatement.

Since then, you've been talking back and forth through Snapchat (your secret one because you're not stupid) and sent him actual pictures of yourself, completely omitting the face. You took one from your bed, your bathtub, and probably every part of your house that you felt is sexy enough to be included on the pics.

You can't tell him if it's him or the repressed sexual urges finally manifesting itself after more than a year of not getting laid, but every text to and from him made your heart race. It was something that you looked forward to every hour everyday.

Hours went by that you totally forgot leaving him on read. You climbed up to your bed to rest your back to the headboard and opened your unread messages.

You: Hey svlr. School stuff.

  He opened the chat and started typing right away.

  LJ: Oh good. I thought I did something wrong to upset you.

You: Not at all. I loved the pic by the way. It literally knocked my socks off.

LJ: Just the socks?

You: You can take the rest of it off yourself ;)

You scoffed. The flirty banter has always been there ever since you started talking but nothing really came out of it.

LJ: If only I could :(

You: I know. Covid’s a bitch.

You set your phone aside for a second to go to the bathroom. On your way, you picked up some snacks at the fridge and sat back down to your bed, only to find your phone blowing up.

LJ: If you're down maybe we could meet

LJ: It's totally fine if you don't want to

LJ: I just made it weird, didn't I?

LJ: I'm so sorry I brought it up in the first place

LJ: I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable

LJ: Hello?

LJ: I'm really sorry

You: Chill. I'm right here

You: I just went to the bathroom

LJ: Oh

You: I'd be lying if I said I don't want to meet you as well

You: Well... I wouldn't write off the idea

You: But with the Covid

LJ: Thoughts?

You: I don't think it's a great idea

The screen says Seen right at the bottom but it took him a couple more minutes before finally replying.

LJ: I understand

LJ: But in case you change your mind, I'll leave the time and place up to you

LJ: I’ll take care of the rest

LJ: Deal?

You: I'll sleep on it.

You: Speaking of sleep, I gotta go. Morning class.

LJ: Okay. I guess this is good night then

You didn't, in fact, talk to him the day after.

You'd be lying if you said that you didn't want to see him and his abs in real life. But as someone who overthinks a lot, you just can't shake off the risk.

You: Good night. Talk to you tomorrow.

What if he's not really the guy in the pics? Or he’s psycho in real life? What if he's infected the virus?

You sighed.

Why must some global pandemic ruin your sex life?

You waited until the end of the day before you finally replied to LJ. The last thing that he texted was a brief good morning from earlier in the day and nothing else. He’s actually a pretty sweet guy, totally not worth ghosting, and you actually liked talking to him as a friend that you can share your sentiments with.

With your guilt finally eating you up, you took a break from your assigned readings and sat back at your bed to rest for the day. Your fingers hovered over the keyboard for a minute, thinking of something to say to him. It took you a few tries before finally hitting the send button.

You: So, I thought about it

LJ: And?

You: I need to know I can trust you

LJ: Okay. How?

You: I don’t know. Send me a proof that you’re real. Get tested?

You: Is that fine with you?

Within a split second, he sent his reply.

He actually did it.

You couldn’t believe it but he actually did it.

LJ: Consider it done.

He got tested for physical, including the virus test, and passed with flying colors. He even sent you a vid of him inside a medical clinic.

He just sent the uncensored results this morning where you can clearly see his real name.

Lee Jeno.

LJ.

Seems legit.

Well, the uncreative nickname shouldn’t matter now because the results meant only one thing.

You’re gonna have to push through with your promise.

You got ready around noon that day. You can’t remember the last time that you actually got ready to meet someone that’s not a delivery guy or a relative passing on something to your family.

As someone who overthinks a lot, you actually got everything covered. You picked a place near a restaurant to eat. The police station is just a few blocks away just in case something happens, and right in front of a library…

“Where’re are you off to?”

You raised your backpack to show to your mother.

“I’m off to the library. I needed to get these renewed. Maybe pick up a novel or two.”

She looks at you from head to toe, eyeing that incredibly loose hoodie, faded denim jeans, some worn out sneakers that looked like it’s supposed to be thrown away years ago and a medical mask that covers about ¾ of your bare face. It’s just your usual attire whenever you go out for errands.

She just nodded and went back to watching her favorite soap opera.

“It’s nice that you’re out of your room for once. Take some cookies from the kitchen so you’ll have something to eat in case you get hungry.”

… as an alibi to get away from your strict parents.

As soon as you left the door and made sure that you’re out of sight, you found the nearest public toilet and grabbed a whole other outfit from your backpack. The hoodie is replaced by a white, ruffled see-through blouse and you ditched the jeans for a tight skirt that’s at least four inches above your knees. You tousled your hair a little bit and put on some powder and tiny hint of lipstick before putting your facemask back on again.

It’s been a while since you’ve done an elaborate scheme like this. Your skills got a little bit rusty, but they always work.

Sometimes you wonder if you’re really meant to be lawyer or a criminal instead.

You stepped out of the toilet and blended right back into society.

Now all you have to do is find wherever the hell LJ is.

Jeno sat anxiously as he waited for you right inside the café. He’s on his fourth cup of coffee but it didn’t do anything to calm his nerves down (geez I wonder why).

You: I’m almost at the café.

He’s been staring at his phone the whole time. Once he received your message, which is a pic of you in the bathroom after the outfit change, he almost choked on his drink.

This message sent him on a panic as he turned his camera on to see how he looked. He did some minor adjustments to his hair and he wiped off his eyeglasses clean with the sleeves of his hoodie (which did nothing for him by the way) and then casually sat down and played it off cool like he hasn’t been waiting for you for over an hour.

On your perspective, you walked inside the café and looked around for LJ. Fortunately, there was only guy inside the café, twiddling with his phone on his hands and as he kept on peeking through the glass windows as if he’s looking for someone.

From afar, he actually looked really cute. His appearance, a shy, nerdy dude with glasses, looked way off from the fuckboy image that you expected him to have in reference to the messages that you’ve been getting from him.

It’s always the quiet ones that are kinky. You should know, you are one.

You walked over to his table and tapped his shoulders to get his attention.

He froze for a moment before he finally managed to turn around and face you.

“You’re actually here.”

“I know. I’m just as surprised as you are.”

tap tap tap tap

The room is so quiet that the only thing you can hear is the sound of your heels tapping against the tiled floor. You can say that that is one of your observable annoying habits tapping your foot on the floor when you're a nervous wreck.

Sighing in retaliation, you removed your hoodie, fanning yourself as you tried to relax and get comfy on the hotel couch (which should be comfortable enough since you paid a shit ton of money on that room), switching the TV on to get your mind off of things. The lackluster array of shitty sitcoms didn’t distract you at all, but it instead reminded you of the reasons why you’re in that room in the first place.

Having nothing to do to pass the time, you paced back and forth in the room, finally sitting down once you realized that it looks way worse than you just tapping your foot. You folded your arms right across your chest, looking at the watch from time to time but the hands of the clock seem to be moving slower the more you stare at it.

Quarantine started almost a year ago and it's been very hard for you. Sexually. It's been almost a year since you've been touched by a man and you’re more than ready to jump on anyone’s dick at any this point,

Too bad that that dick is taking his sweet time in the bathroom.

tap tap tap tap

Your foot found its rhythm once again, only this time, you’re not nervous anymore. Your patience is wearing thin.

As if summoned by the constant tapping, the guy comes out of the bathroom, just casually drying himself while wearing nothing but the towel dangerously hanging on his waist and a boyish smile on his lips.

No biggie.

"Hey."

Suddenly, you’re not tapping anymore.

Head empty, just thoughts of a hot guy patting down a towel all over his toned body.

“I hope I didn’t make you wait for too long.”

He spoke, tossing aside the towel on his hands on the sofa, finally giving you a full view of him and all his glory.

You must admit, you’re skeptical at first. The guy that’s been sending you faceless thirst traps just days ago, telling you how he’d fuck you senseless looked a lot different from the guy who entered the hotel room just a moment ago.

He came in wearing those black oversized hoodies that did a great job in hiding his best features. His hair was a bit long for your taste, covering half of his face while the face mask hid the other.

But this man right here in front you, he’s Adonis.

You unconsciously bit your lower lip, earning a chuckle from the guy.

“I’m guessing that you’d like to start now?”

You nodded, the tension and awkwardness rendering you unable to speak.

He smiles as he takes the remote from you, turning off the television because the main show is about to start.

You started to tense up again, eyes wide as you realized that he’s now right beside you, wrapping his arms around you as soon as he sat down. He leans over, soft lips coming into contact with your exposed neck and shoulders, landing small pecks all over.

You sat there breathless as he slowly ran his fingers to the side of your thighs, tracing circles at it while giving small, reassuring kisses on your neck and shoulders. It’s as if he’s asking you for your consent, waiting for you to open up to him before he makes a move.

He got his answer when you turned around to face him, running your fingers into his cheeks before cupping his face, your lips finally touching his. He moved in the same pace as earlier, slow and calculating. You got a bit impatient once again, biting his lower lips gently to let him know that he can do more.

He grabbed you by the waist and successfully placed you on top of him. The kiss got even more sloppy as you ran your hands through nape, then into his soft locks. His hands travelled once again, finger running through legs again, stopping as soon as he reached the hem of your skirt, flipping it up to reveal the thin lace material that barely covered your core. You took that as initiative to remove the towel on his waist and grinded against his growing member, the friction and heat enough to earn a groan out of him.

He held your waist once again, firmly this time, halting your movement completely.

You broke away from the kiss, staring him in the eyes to read his face.

“Something wrong?”

“Hold tight.”

You were about to ask about what hold tight mean, but your arms cling unto him involuntarily as he lifts the both of you out of the sofa.

Jeno laid you gently in the bed, making sure not to break eye contact as he does so. He looked like he's about to eat you alive, which is enough to send flush to your cheeks.

“I would’ve loved to bend you over that sofa, but I think it’s just proper that our first time will be on the bed.”

"God. You're beautiful."

He then ran his fingers towards the thin fabric of your blouse, feeling every part of your torso like he's memorizing every detail of it. His hands then travelled in your chest, squeezing the swell of your breasts on each hand, fingers shaking as he does so. It felt like an artist admiring his delicate work of art.

He situated himself between your legs, taking a moment to admire you first before doing anything else.

He started to run his hand on your cleavage and stopped on the uppermost button of your blouse, taking his time to remove all of them and placing a kisses at the exposed skin. After all of the buttons are taken care of, you lifted your body up and slid off the fabric. Your black lacy bra finally made its appearance. You took the liberty of taking that off too, as slow and as you possibly can.

 Jeno just stared at your body in awe, breathing heavily as his eyes scanned your naked glory.

 "Gorgeous."

He said under this breath before leaning down to claim your lips once again. You're turned on by how much attention he's giving your body now. You're usually loud in bed but his gestures are making you bashful. You've never felt this beautiful before.

You can feel his hands trembling as it travels all over your body, his kisses getting even more needy. There was moans of satisfaction every time he would lick your lips. Jeno was kissing you like you were oxygen and he needed to breath.

His hands travelled south, running across your thigh and your now aching core. You're about to remove your skirt and underwear but he stopped your hands midway.

"Keep it."

He took your hands away from your skirt and placed them just above your head.

"Just sit there and relax baby. Let me treat you."

You did just like he told you and gave him full control of your body.

"Good girl."

His lips brushed your ears, whispering sweet nothings about how beautiful you are under him. His kisses then went down to your neck, using his tongue and teeth, marking everything he can get his mouth on with his saliva. Meanwhile, his hands finally touched you down there, massaging your still clothed wetness.

His middle and index finger felt your slit, moving it in swift motion in search for your clit.

"Oh my god. That's it."

You gasped as his fingers finally hit the right spot, tossing your head back as his fingers made circles at your bundle or nerves.

You opened your legs more, leaning on your arms on your back, head tossed back and eyes closed as you feel your impending orgasm.

He dipped his hand inside your underwear and collected some of your essence with his fingers. The mental picture of him licking his fingers deliciously is enough to get you off for weeks.

It didn't take long before he took your panties off and his ducked his head down. He opened your legs once again and licked one long stripe on your core, making sure to taste all of you. You sat there and watch as he hungrily takes all of you in his mouth, acting like your pussy is a full course meal and he's been starving for years.

Within moments, you've become a moaning, toe curled mess. You ran your fingers to his blonde hair, guiding him on how to move his tongue and fingers on you. At one point, he bit some of your sensitive skin, making you scream a string of curses under your breath.

"Stop stop stop."

You grab a fistful of his hair and he paused from what he was doing. You pushed him gently away from you, leaving him staring at you confusedly. The confusion didn't last long when you flipped your current position, you're now on top.

"Can I ride your face?"

At this point, you're bold and horny enough to use your words and ask him. He just nodded, sliding himself from underneath you and went back to eating you like a champ. You grabbed his hands and placed them across your chest, squeezing your breasts to send him a message. He was quick to pick up and followed suit, pinching your nipples right in between fingers while your ride his face to orgasm.

"Shit. I'm coming..."

  You writhed from above him as you come undone. Your body felt cold all over. Your eyes are ringing, feeling dizzy as you almost passed out while you bucked your hips a few more times to milk your release.

You didn’t have time to recover when you heard your phone ringing from outside. Your legs felt a little shaky and you almost tumbled and hit your head in the wall if Jeno didn’t help you get up. You  sat down on the floor, butt-ass naked as you frantically searched for your phone from under all of your stuff before you finally pressed the answer button.

“Yes mom?”

“Where have you been? Your father’s been looking for you at the library. He’s picking you up on your way home.”

You buried your head on the couch to shake off the buzzing feeling on your head. You placed a pillow on your body while you searched for your discarded clothes all over the hotel room.

“Oh yeah. I went to the café and got something to eat. Tell Dad I’ll meet him outside the library.”

“Okay sweetie. Can you pick up some groceries on your way back? I’ll text you the list.”

“Yeah mom. Bye.”

You breathe a sigh of relief as you started putting on the outfit that you wore when you left home.

“Where are you going?”

Jeno reluctantly got dressed as well, his shy demeanor came back as soon as he wore his glasses and fixed his hair.

“I got to go, Jeno. I’m sorry that I’m leaving in such a bad time…”

You went over to him and placed a sweet kiss on his lips.

“I promise to make it up to you next time, okay? I’d love to meet you again.”

You grabbed a paper bag from your backpack and handed it to him, waving as you bolted out the door.

After fixing his things, he sat down for a moment and took a quick peek inside the package that you left him.

It was a ziplock bag of full of cookies and a whole other treat.

You left him your two-piece lace lingerie.

To be continued.

[heybaetae]

How did BE change your life?

i'm assuming you follow me on twitter and saw me defending that album with my life (again lol) earlier today.

i mean, without getting too much into the dark and more personal reasons why BE is a really special to me, it was the first proper album comeback that i experienced from beginning to end and all at once. i've mentioned before that i initially got into bts' music when the mots: persona EP dropped, but i didn't have the time to actually absorb and participate with anything beyond seeing them promote that era on a talk show in passing or on youtube. i wasn't in the fandom yet, i'd mostly been observing and appreciating them from a safe distance for a couple years, but not in the loop with much else. so i enjoyed that EP privately and casually, as well as the glimpses i saw of the MOTS7 release at the beginning of 2020, but i wasn't able to actively follow along with everything they were up to or dive into their older discography until the pandemic hit and the world paused because i finally had the time to sit and take it all in for real.

i experienced a close family death in january of 2020, lost a nine year friendship in february, and then covid lockdown hit in march. so my mental health was already in complete shambles and it stayed that way for months. what bts did that summer did WONDERS for me in terms of taking my mind off my grief of losing two really close people in my life, distracted me from the bleakness that was covid numbers, and helped uplift my mood exponentially. did they fix me, god no, but they absolutely helped. SO much. they were the escape and the real joy that i needed and was lacking exactly when i needed it. and everything BE represented felt like it aligned with what i had been going through that year by the time fall came around. so that whole era was an absolute life altering few months for me because it took me from a casual army of about three years who didn't know much beyond their names and a couple of their singles to someone who was falling in love with music i really needed to hear. i also had not been finding the same joy anywhere else at that point. i was very burned out on everything else i was a fan of and not having fun in any of my other fandoms anymore and i had been feeling a little lost. BE gave me something new to be excited about and i connected with it during a really sensitive time in my life that year. i was not in a good place for a long time and they (and BE) made the rest of that year survivable.

anyway that's about as specific as i'm comfortable being for now :)

[scrapyardboyfriends]

do you think the pub explosion has ruined the show? like I watch old eps back and so much of it was based there? also think it was a way of showing the relationships and friendships developing that they’re honestly lacking so much at the moment?

another thing why does 90% of stuff happen off screen now? it’s like “I talked to *insert name*” ok well let’s see it?!

also opinions on cain/moira? - is it just me or did they suddenly just remember they were back together? I know they’ve had the odd scenes in 2021 but all they seem to do with them now is make them argue or drag nate up again? (I mean I’m really not sure what the point of nate is anymore? do we really need for him to work at butlers again? Did he even tell Kim? like surely Kim doesn’t want Wylies to fail? who’s running it now? she’s interested in buying the pub but has an empty farm and a huge fine to pay for the hide? massive plothole!) I feel like they missed a real opportunity to show moira/cain being super vulnerable with each other, actually dealing with some of their issues and talking about their family and future? we could have seen them change, it could have made them stronger/closer or just y’know let them have a tiny bit of happiness in their lives (there is like no light and shade anymore) but feels to me like they just don’t know what to do with them now, so just a plot points to cause conflict / break them up for a bit?

100% agree with you, give matty a proper storyline!!

this is gonna be another one of my essays...I can feel it. haha

Do I think that the explosion specifically has ruined the show or even that aspect of the show? Not necessarily. I think 2 years of covid restrictions and not utilizing the pub as a central hub for the characters to interact put a massive dent in the quality of the show for sure. I also think they haven't handled this pub explosion story well enough at all because literally no one reacted to it happening, which is just bizarre because if the pub had blown up back in 2000 or something it would have been this massive crisis and would have affected everyone and now everyone's just like "meh" cause they barely went there anyway.

The pub also has been in big need of a shake up for a long time and I don't think that's going to happen, which is dumb because this was the perfect opportunity. I would have loved to see any number of people in charge. Bernice returning could have been fun. Bernice and Nicola running the pub with Jimmy the reluctant part time barman could have been amazing. Getting to your Coira point, I think Moira selling the farm and running the pub could have been fun too. Or my personal wish, a new family coming in. But at this point I'd even accept Kim if it meant it didn't just go back to the same old Dingles.

But I do think they need to make a real effort to rebuild the pub quickly and get people back on that set. Health and safety is important, but they need to find a way to bring the community back to the pub and interact with each other again because I agree with you, everything used to happen in the pub in the old days and now it just sits there. And yes there's the Hide and the Cafe and the Shop but none of those have the same feel as the Woolpack and I think they really need to remember that the pub is the heart of the village.

As for things happening off screen, yes, it is hugely annoying. Again, I know covid has restricted somethings but if they're going to talk about scenes and conversations that happened all the time then I want to see some of them, especially when they involve lesser seen characters that I would rather see than those currently on screen talking about these conversations. Haha.

As for Coira...they are definitely in a massive rut and really have been since they got back together in January 2018. I don't know that it was a total mistake for Iain to break them up back in 2016 but again, I feel like he did far better with the Robron break up than he did with Coira. I know they had to stay apart long enough for the secret pregnancy to happen so they could have that dramatic birth but while that was exciting, I don't know that it was worth it. As much as they try and show that Coira are meant to be when they want to put them back together and such, I think they've really just done a lot of damage to their characters over the years that it's hard to find that magic again.

I feel like Cain having a full on relationship with Harriet during that 2016/2017 break up probably wasn't the best idea. I think having Moira be the one to kill Emma was a pretty terrible idea because, while they dealt with it more than they do with other characters who kill and get away with it, I think it just damaged her credibility as a character a lot, especially how she dealt with Cain after he thought he killed Joe. I really wish they'd just had her discover like six months into the pregnancy or something that she was pregnant, maybe due to some kind of drama with Emma or something and then Cain could have had his whole crisis about having another kid but ultimately been therefor her during the birth which still could have been in the barn fire or whatever. I just think keeping them apart for so long was a mistake.

Plus I don't think they did a good enough job with their reunion. I just don't feel like it was ever clear enough why they broke up and I don't think it was clear enough why they were getting back together other than just...because. And as much as I complain about 2018 for Robron and them not having enough of a real plot, I do appreciate that they were on screen enough to really show that they had learned something from their break up and put those lessons into action again and again to show how much healthier they had become. And even if Ryan hadn't left, they still had the surrogacy story to go so they still had story left in them. With Coira it's like, they got back together and then really had nothing until Matty showed up, which was some of the best content they all had and was something that showed them putting lessons learned into practice because Cain wasn't supportive enough through the Holly stuff and he wanted to be with Matty.

But then they just didn't know what to do with them afterwards and the Nate thing was just such a massive massive mistake because there was just no reason for Moira to even cheat and they didn't even try and make up a reason afterwards. It was just like Cain went to Scotland without telling her for...reasons...and now she's gonna cheat on him. It was so weird and made no sense. And Nate was just the worst idea for a character on basically every level and yes...he is still useless and they still have conflict over him and my god is that exhausting.

It really does feel like they've just run their course because the show absolutely does not know what to do with them anymore. I mean Moira was only in 64 episodes last year. They got back together mid November of 2020 and have just done absolutely nothing with them. They brought Mack in but other than a few tense episodes, have done very little with him and Moira. I almost feel like Cain has had more scenes with Mack than she has. I also feel like half of those appearances were her just showing up for two seconds to drop a meat delivery off at the pub and say one line. So even though they've gotten back together, they really just feel like they've been in stasis because they've done nothing with them. And yet you can already see the cracks showing again because they don't know what to do with them other than give them random tiny conflicts every once in a while until they decide to just break them up again.

And honestly, if they do break them up again, I think that has to be it. And it's a damn shame too because back in 2013/2014/2015 they were a great couple. And they still have good chemistry every time they're allowed to actually have good scenes together. They could still be the power couple of the Dales but no one knows what to do with them. It's sad.

I know Moira's supposed to get some kind of story this year and I really hope it doesn't suck and that Cain can actually be a support to her so we can see them have strength as a couple because otherwise...what's the point? As you said, I want to see them be vulnerable with each other, grow and change as a couple and be stronger than ever. They have the range to do so and the show is not utilizing it. No one needs to see Cain arbitrarily kidnap someone again, just give him and Moira actual better content.

Also...yes GIVE MATTY A STORYLINE! (side note: he and Amy have been together for a year now and they've done zero things with them and I am sad)

Look! A rambling essay. I'm nothing if not predictable.

[syubub]

2021 Reading for BTS and the collective!!

Wow wow wow! I didn't disappear or get dragged away by a demon. No no, I just got thrust into unexpected shadow work and I now have an unhealthy obsession with sea shanties and a love of pasta.

I had this idea planned to be early in January but that didn't pan out so I'm doing it now. I have another yoongi reading in the works and another fun thing coming soon as well!!

I promise I won't bore you to death any longer but I hope you've all been doing well!!

Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken as fact.

If this message doesn't apply, let it fly!

Cool cool cool.

Let's get it.

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Oki. I first want to say that this I gonna be long lol. I did a meditation and gathered some little pieces of things y'all might need to hear and then I pulled cards for every month. The fountain tarot deck is the cards for us, the collective, and the rider-waite cards are for bts. It'll make more sense when I add picks and stuff. I did a little extra card pull for yoongi for the month of May too :) I'll make sure to type out all the cards in text so you know what they are (the pics are kinda wack.) I also used my pendulum to ask if there was a bts related event for every month and that's at the bottom. It's just to take in the possible energy for the month and something that could result from that energy!

LETTUCE BEGIN (hehe)

Starting with the section for the channeled messages. I want to reiterate that this was collective so if it doesn't resonate with you, the message might not be for you! Use your intuition.

(Enough talking. Damn)

So. As I said this was through meditation and connecting to the big column tree thing (I told my cousin about the tree/pillar and they were like,, "so basically a big energy dildo in the æther?" .... I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. h e l p m e) and asking if there was any messages or advice that needed to be delivered and it was... intresting?

Things came fragmented. So there was little messages like, "Its gonna be okay" and "things are changing for everyone" and "open your eyes if you want to see" (that's sassy.) There was one particular thing that was confusing me though. Straight up it was just "flower" on repeat and like a really bad picture of a flower? Like you could tell what it was but it was bad quality. Anyway, I was like "okay. Kindly shut the fuck up. Pls." And I wrote down flower, pink flower and rose. Sooo.... idk but there you go.

More messages were things like, "the block isn't in your head", "try calling forth that which you seek" and... February. Possibly there is specific (very very very loose) connection to the 10th-19th? I'm not to sure what or why but I'd say maybe look out for opportunities on these days and also maybe external events.

Continuing with dates. In the last this 21 and January 21 came up. It came up again but with 2 messages. So first, either 21st is a day where something is put into motion (possibly private or public) or announced and the second was "add them together dumbass" that's not very kind but 3. Again this has been discussed too but but but... maybe a signal of a third mixtape 👀 (not necessarily on the 21st per say but possibly in March? I'm really not sure).

Oki. I got side tracked like I always do and started thinking about tattoos and stuff and I really want koo to have a peony tattoo. I feel it in my BONES. It would suit him so well. and as I was thinking about tattoos I heard, "don't be surprised if yoongi gets/shows a tattoo this year" ??? What the fuck? I think maybe they messing with me but now I have hopes and I don't want them to be crushed and thrown to the wind :(

Back to normal stuff, "the theme is growth" I think that fits very well with the reading. "Blue might be a lucky color" self explanatory. It might be lucky. "Start practicing grounding and centering" this was LOUD. This will help you in how you react to events in the future. Really do practice this if you haven't.

This is where it gets a little weird. So, I got a message that said "start living as if you never existed." I am not a 100% sure what this means but I think I have a pretty good guess. I hate to make it sound weird like this but by sort of focusing on something that is so hard to comprehend (because our brains can't comprehend not existing very well) you kinda break the 4th wall? Like in Deadpool when he addresses the audience and is aware that he is a character played by Ryan Reynolds? anyway, focusing on something that seemingly impossible you kind of accidentally open up the floodgates for a lot of other things. I would say if you are not in the right headspace to do this don't do it but it can be a powerful way to break up the monotony of reality. The theory that everything happens simultaneously bc time isn't a linear progression events blah blah we are energy blah blah the multiverse blah blah.. Theres so so so so so so so so so much about this and how it applies to things that I could probably write you 10+ dictionaries worth of material but for the sake of simplicity and not wanting to write a novel right now, I will continue. The main lesson is to start challenging your perception of the world around you. Ask why and why and why and why. Essentially seeing cracks in the matrix. Pulling your head out of your cosmic ass, realizing that rose you're smelling is actually daffodil ect. It's not supposed to bring you fear but just kinda encouraging you to question all the things that you perceive as given truths.

I tried to make that sound cohesive but really it's such a big concept that I can't really wrap it up all nice and neat.

Oki. May and March are also important times.

Listen to your intuition and try not to take everything so seriously. I'm not saying to check out and go squat in the Himalayas but it's important to find joy in the now. Life is already tough enough so don't forget to watch a silly show that you like or change your hair to a style you've never tried, wear makeup in a very loud way. Just have fun and don't worry so much about things that you can't control. Listen to yourself and your intuition.

Well that was all over the place. Let's get on to the actual tarot part now.

For the record, the pictures are right to left.

January for the collective

We have the empress, the sun, 7 of swords and a fortune that says "act well your part; there the honor lies"

Hmm. Ngl I was a little confused to see the empress and the sun for January... I mean it hasn't been great. So I pulled clarity card 7 of swords. The 7 of swords is all about betrayal. It's about the deception and and actively getting away with things. This is people lying, cheating, sneaking and the works.

This makes much more sense!! The Sun card is usually about joy and success and happiness but in this case I see it as illuminating the betrayal. It's shining light on the deception and keeps the spotlight there. Its also an energetic card so I think that shows passion for uncovering the truth.

With the empress card too I think January is all about getting creative in all forms. Creative ways to protest, to mourn, to celebrate, to connect. Also taking in the abundance that we DO have. The beauty that surrounds us. I like to think of aphrodite energy for this. Its not just love and passion and creativity but is also asserting yourself and having strong passion for what you love and fighting for it. Did you know aphrodite was also called upon in ancient Greece in times of war? She was honored as a goddess of war but still a goddess of love, the sea, fertility ect. What I'm trying to say is that being a creative and "feminine" energy is in no way weak. Sometimes the most powerful things come from this energy. Love aggressively with good intentions. The point is that you should take whatever you're feeling and translate it into something creative or something you care about. The fact that covid is still a thing really sucks but take any rage, hurt, sadness, joy, love whatever and use that shit to make something amazing. Bake bread and punch the fuck out of it, paint your frustration, play hopscotch in higheels while you listen to heavy metal. You get the point.

Now January for BTS!!

We have the death card. (I only pulled one card bc I have things planned from this)

January has been... strange? To say the least.

This card can be a lot of things for them. I think this points to more maturity in their music? Like they've finally ditched the "shiny kpop boy band" label and are being taken seriously in the west. I also think that they're going through a musical/concept transformation~ I think it also signified the change in plans bc of the Grammys perhaps they had things planned an that fell through so they were forced to rapidly change plan/course.

For January: possible mixtape or announcement.

February for the collective

We have 8 of coins reverse and hanged man reverse.

The 8 of pentacles reverse talks a lot about self improvement. Doing that good good inner work and self care. Working on developing parts of you that you've maybe neglected. It's also learning how to work with how you are instead of wishing you weren't the way you are. If you have a therapist its a great time to maybe ask for any extra tips that you can practice daily to help you even more. Maybe exploring more into insecurities relating to finance or jobs or your passions. If you don't have a therapist but you have the means to get one I always highly recommend. You don't have to have "problems" to see a therapist. Everyone could use a non biased point of view that is literally trained to help you be you best self. If you can't get therapy, I get it. Shits tough rn but there's still things we can do to better ourselves like Journaling and reading therapy blogs or self help books (not the taky shit) or trying a hobby you fell out of touch with. There's also a lot of places where you can get therapy promise on the internet. Most importantly, better yourself in the way that you need. Take time in February to take notice of what you want to improve upon. The 8 of coins reversed does come with the warning not to get stuck in perfectionism. Go easy on yourself and if you find yourself getting frustrated when working on projects, try to take a step back and practice whatever it is in a fun way and then come back to it later

Hanged man reverse talks about knowing that you need to chill but you don't. You'll need too. Maybe you'll find yourself swept up in work and tasks and you're over whelmed and know you need to stop and catch your breath but you resist. Why? Well, perhaps you're trying to ignore reality by filling the empty spaces with things and stuff so you don't have to face what's bothering you. Not wise. Take time for yourself. There's also the flips side where people are just kinda stuck.. creative block. Maybe you want something to turn out one way and it just isn't, so your stuck and frustrated and can't move past it. Let go of your expectation of how it should be and let it be what it is. Go with the flow and maybe you'll see a new way to overcome your problem. You'll eventually get that break through that you need! The theme of February is about self improvement. Listen to yourself.

February for BTS

We have judgment.

Hehe yeah. This card is about rebirth and the inner calling. Letting go of the old to step into the new version of you. This is also a very spiritual card lol. This can talk about a new decision that you have to trust your gut on. This is a very significant card that screams comeback to me. It also can talk about sharing your struggles with a group of people and that to me sounds comeback ish. Maybe this will be an announcement in February, maybe they'll be working on it idk but this is ultimate comeback energy so I hope they utilize this for a big group project!!

February: possible BTS comeback (even my pendulum knows)

March for the collective

The chariot and justice

This plays directly off of February! With the chariot you're taking the self improvement that you've done and putting it to action! Now is the time to act on the dreams and passions that you have don't wait and hope for the best. March is about action and standing in your power.

Justice card is cause and effect and truth. What you do will have consequences good or bad. Not doing anything also has consequences. Cease the moment and make the best of it. You'll be taking responsibility for what you do. You start a business? Now you have the responsibility of running it and you get the credit. Stuff like that. Stand by your decisions with conviction and trust yourself.

There's also the side of justice that talks about bringing justice. If you've been wronged, you'll be brought justice if you stand up for yourself.

We also carry the continuous lesson of learning what we truly believe and challenge those beliefs!

March for BTS

Oki we have the hermit and the 6 of pentacles reverse.

Well... let's start with the 6 of pentacles reverse. This can really talk about being so generous and giving to everyone else that you forget about yourself. I think that maybe they might be over exerting themselves and giving so much that they're exhausted physically and emotionally as well. I think too, they take on so much of our pain like its their own? Idk but this would be a good time to do a large scale fan project to show them a little extra love!

With the hermit card it talks about a self introspection so they could be looking inward as a team and kinda evaluating their bond.

I also see this as maybe being alone as in they maybe can't physically go to the grammys? Or maybe they had been planning the rescheduled concerts and they had to be pushed back even further? Things like that. Regardless this signals re thinking/reevaluating the goals that they have and considering what direction to go in!

March: possible mixtape or solo project?

April for the collective

We have 6 of coins and 3 of cups reverse.

Let's start with the 6 of coins. It's about sharing. It can be about charity so sharing money via donation but also giving time, effort, energy to people as well. Giving knowledge is good too! It's an all round exchange. Maybe someone lends you money or you lend money to someone. It's give and take. It's a two way street. It's also a card of balanced finance. So money stuff should be looking promising around this time (for you U.S people this could point to more stimulus help as well)

And for the 3 of cups reversed... I see this as reopening of places and people struggling to find the balance. So think people who've been in lockdown celebrating by throwing a big party... yikes. This card reminds that we should be mindful of the long-term consequences that come with our actions.. maybe also people that are experiencing fear of being in public places now. This is only one facet though. Bc I think this also means in general, missing being with friends and having a renewed relationship because you've really realized how important it is to have these people that mean so much to you in your life. Don't forget that you have people that love you and want the best for you. Call them when you feel alone.

April for BTS

The heirophant

Mhmm. This one kinda gives me vibes that they'll be mentoring people? Idk but I see them more as the heirophant teaching what they've learned/ know to help guide others. HOWEVER this could also be them taking a new task under their belt. Learning something new. Since this is as a group reading I assume that this talks about the group as a whole. This card is also very tradition oriented so maybe they are taking lessons that are connected to traditional Korean culture? Maybe its for RUN or maybe its to incorporate into music and preformance. Think bts mma preformance but all of them learning together? Idk, it's just a thought (maybe wishful thinking). It also talks about seeking counseling so maybe they'll do yoongis idea from the most recent RUN.

This can also be them embracing this kind of leadership/ status.

April: I got nothing. It does feel like something though

May for the collective

Five of cups and queen of cups reversed

Five of cups is disappointment, regret and self pity. Now honestly this to me looks like possibly a tightening of restrictions yet again. Regardless of the situation that this is talking about, the best thing you can do is not wallow in the bullshit. You scrape yourself off the pavement and move foward. You'll need forgiveness of yourself and others and that if shit isn't going your way, you need to pull your head out of your ass and look around bc there's options out there. It's like drowning in a kiddie pool. Just stand up, dude. The water is like 5 inches.

Queen of cups reversed talks about self love and self care. It's more of that look inwards energy. Think about really taking care of yourself. May might be emotionally draining so you need to be ready to take care of you! Part of self care is making sure that your boundaries are well enforced.

Be on the look out for codependent behaviors. Check in with yourself.

The queen of cups is very intuitive and having it in reverse can talk about you not taking enough time to listen to it. Make an effort to meditate for like 5 minutes a day at least. Do something to let yourself connect to your intuition and higher self.

May for BTS

9 of pentacles

This about enjoying the fruits of your labor and absolute abundance and luxury. This could talk about them rolling in the dough after signing a new partnership or having a concert or something if the sort. This could also be a time where we see them buying new things like houses, cars and rings (lol) but also this could be them doing a very high production value project! Also namjoon and his bonsai army are thriving in this time!

May: possible concert or scheduled concert event. Activity of some kind.

Yoongi interlude

I asked for one card to give me an idea of what the mystical May 13th really is. I got: the star, 2 of cups, 4 of wands, the world and the sun.

Guys. I can't with this. 2 of cups is a card of union, romance, soulmate. 4 of wands is celebration, joy, homecoming, bliss. The world is completion and the sun is happiness, joy, marriage, enlightenment.

I've said it a billion times but that's some soulmate shit. So soft so cute and May will be eventful for his personal life.

June for the collective

Death and the heirophant reversed.

Wow wow wow death is transformation and a new chapter so a new way of life and something new/ different that changes how we see things. Again this could be relating to new covid things and new policies and stuff like that but also new as in new to all of us. Groundbreaking perhaps?

The heirophant reversed talks about teaching yourself. Being your own teacher and making your own path. This might be spiritual or otherwise. Challange what the world wants from you and instead listen to what you truly want bc you don't need anyone's approval. Continue to ask questions about why things are the way that they are.

June for BTS

Page of pentacles

Oki oki page of pentacles means a new creative venture and manifestation. Maybe something that they've been wanting for a while finally comes to fruition. This might be the start of a new project that they haven't done before or something cross genre? Idk but its a really good sign of being motivated for a new endeavor and manifesting any projects that they've ever wanted to do. Love this promising energy!!

June: idk

July for the collective

10 of swords and 9 of cups reversed.

10 of swords signals a painful ending. Also deceit. Its a necessary end to a long battle. The only thing you can do is control how you react in these situations. You just kinda gotta surrender into the pain and know that it's temporary. Take time to reflect on what happened and why and how it will help you grow.

The 9 of cups reversed talks about valuing stuff and material things over emotions and spiritual things. This can be talking about society in general, that we are becoming more aware to the fact that there is often more value placed on ephemeral items rather than humanity as a whole. This also can be talking about coming to the realization that we've been working so hard towards... something we don't really care about simply because we were told that it's what you do.

If you want something different to happen you have to put in effort. You can't be sitting in front of a water fountain being like, "damn. I'm thirsty. I really really want water so why isn't it in my mouth yet?" Like?? Hello? You have to take the first step, my dude.

Certainly don't try to do anything that would cost you finatial security or health.

You have the potential to find happiness within yourself. So try looking inside instead of looking outward.

July for BTS

4 of swords.

This is about rest and relaxation!

Taking time to meditate and take some time to look at what you've done objectively. Ots like the hermit in a way but much more focused on resting and relaxing so you can come back stronger and with better direction. Maybe they'll take a break for a couple days but I really see it as them reassessing options. Especially if July goes how I think it will. Maybe they'll film something like In The Soop again? Maybe we'll see bon voyage type thing? Idk. But it could be something kinda out of the spotlight? Maybe something more healing?

July: maybe something?? I'm not sure but it seems like something might be in store.

August for the collective

5 of coins and the wheel of fortune

Well let's see. 5 of pentacles talks about isolation and a negative mindset. This talks about falling on hard times but its a temporary set back. This energy can be talking about falling on hard times emotionally as well. In the card it shows a woman outside of a church shivering and cold but she's too busy thinking about all that she's lost that she doesn't notice the warm church that she could step into for shelter.

But then with he wheel of fortune that talks about fate/destiny, opportunity and luck so maybe this is a necessary loss so that a new door can open. This does kinda tie in with July as well. The end of something is painful but it's often a necessary thing. Might be a bit uncomfy but that's how things change. Again I see this maybe hinting more towards society but none the less it's definitely a theme for August to have doors closing and new ones opening so be on the lookout for that.

August for BTS

The devil.

Now don't fret. The devil talks a lot about choice. Most notably the choice between instant gratification and and something more substantial and the devil leans towards indulgence. It also has a lot to do with the shadow side. This could talk about ~scandal~ sure, but I think its more of a time where you become aware of negative patterns and you shine a light on that part you've ignored. On a much lighter note this card talks also about an incredible bond between people. It can be unhealthy if not given space or boundaries. Listen to pied piper and come back to me.

I also REALLY REALLY REALLY hope that this card points to this: sexuality. The boys have always been pretty pg when it comes to the topic of sex and embracing sexuality so I really do hope to see something more daring and grown up and exploring a tastefully sexy concept. On the same vain as sexuality this card also talks about kinks and stuff like that so don't be surprised if we get more outfits like fake love Era bondage harnesses.

August: ???

September for the collective

We have the world and 10 of wands reversed.

The 10 of wands reversed talks about carrying burden. Doing extra work and taking on more responsibility. Doing everything by yourself and carrying this heavy load alone will get you burnt out quicker than anything. You might be taking on too much and you'll need to prioritize what you really need to focus on. I also think there will just be a lot happening in September for a lot of people. It's a lot of working hard because you know it's good work or because it's what's right. This could be social responsibility that's placed on you or work responsibility. For whatever reason this burden isn't something you want to share with others because you think its yours alone to deal with. It's not though bc you'll figure out eventually that if it hurts so much you'll find a way to lessen the burden. 10 in tarot is all about the completion of a cycle and going through the wands cycle is hard work because for anything to be made of passion, you need to put the work behind it. The burden isn't forever, the heavy work load will lighten but this is you seeing things out. It's a good thing!

Especially considering this is paired with with world. The world is all about completion and that's what you're doing here is finding completion. You are seeing things out until the end but you just need to learn to give up some responsibility, lessen your burden.

This also talks about hard work being put into wider social spheres as well. Things like the vaccines becoming more widespread through the whole globe or at least better planing and infrastructures not related to covid. Things are looking up!

September for BTS

Knight of swords reverse

This bad boi is restless energy. It's being so pent up that you're ready to burst and you really want to take action but you can't because something is keeping you from taking that action. Again I do think this is kinda covid related in regards to touring bc if they do tour in 2021 its gonna look a lot different. This energy can be a bit impulsive and directionless so I think maybe they'll channel this into album material something? I'm not really sure tbh. I'm suprised this energy didn't show up earlier because it almost seems inevitable.

September: no clue

October for the collective

Ten of coins and the star reverse.

Welp let's start with the 10 of coins. Its about wealth, financial security, and long term success so this is a pretty prosperous time. This talks about the obvious monetary wealth and material wealth but also an abundance of opportunities. So this is definitely a good time to enjoy whatever consistency you have. This energy is really really abundant in the career space as well. So October could be very prosperous in the job field and you'll have likely found what it is you really want and could be successful at. This could be the actual act or just the idea. This is could also talk about investing in something for your future, this could be time or money.

With the star reversed it can talk about a loss of faith and a disconnection. This often points to feeling like you've just been forgotten or left out. Like the universe doesn't give a shit about you and left you out to die. Things might seem unfair but always try to look for the lesson that you can take from the experience. Seeing the 10 of coins and the star makes me think that a lot of people have kinda lost faith in their manifestations and also just in the concept of not living in a state of need. Especially if you see other people doing well and you've been trying so fucking hard but you haven't gotten a break. I know we hate to hear it but this can serve as a test of faith. Or rather an opportunity to get your shit in line and take a second to breath. Do something good for yourself and then continue on. This star in reverse serves to show you what no longer sparks joy and helps you find what does and what that initial spark was in the first place. Helps you get back to the original vision/ spark.

October for BTS

5 of pentacles reverse.

This signals the end of difficult times and getting that groove back. The last month was restless energy with no where to go but this month that energy is certainly put to good use. They might be figuring out what has been missing In their lives and starting to rectify that. They are definitely reminded that material wealth doesn't bring spiritual or emotional wealth. Might be also feeling a bit alienated too.

October: something is likely but idk

November for collective

Six of swords reversed and the moon.

Transition and change is prevalent. The 6 of swords is about leaving behind the familiar. Maune this is leaving a job, a new change in the status quo, leaving a relationship ect. The thing you have to keep in mind is just how amazing this is in terms of what it will do. It will alow growth!! And bring clarity!! Thos can also be societal as well, something being left behind in favor of something new. It's letting go and reflecting so that you can move foward.

This is strengthened by the moon card. The moon card is the subconscious and all the things that come with it. The anxiety, the illusion, the uncertainty. You'll want to deal with whatever emotions come up. The moon can signify a confusing time where things aren't what they seem to be. That's the illusions so you'll have rely more on intuition at a time like this. Your dreams might hold significance in this time as well. Listen to your guides and your own guidance because it will help you understand more than you did before this journey began. Using moon cycles to your advantage in November might really help you!!

November for BTS

7 of wands

Challenge and competition. People are envious of bts. We know this. But people will be challenging them for what they've gained: music industry domination. This might co.e in the way that people will spread vicious rumors in attempt to disenfanchise or possibly it will be a fair fight. It could also be a challenge/ battle for some other aspect that involves legal matters.

My best guess though is good old competition. Bts has proven again and again that they will continue to do what they do how they do but they will not be trampled over. In the best way this could renew some of that spirit in friendly competition. They will tear eachothers throats out for a pack of ramen so maybe a bit of competition will be good for them. It keeps life intresting.

November: nothin

December for the collective

Two of cups and the emperor!

Let's start off with the emperor card talks about stability and order. It can also signify being the "breadwinner" so its a good sign that you'll kinda be on top of your shit. The emperor is also an amazing leader so you might find yourself taking on a leadership role too! This is very organized energy that works very smoothly!

two of cups is such a lovely way to end out the year! It's love and partnership and attraction so if you aren't in a relationship by this time you might meet someone who strikes your fancy!! On a none romantic relationship note though, this card is also great for business partnership bc it signifies that you're on the same page and have the same goals in mind!

It's harmonious relationships and trust between them!! Love love love this energy so much! Cups are the suit of emotions and this card is so promising.

If you are in a relationship, this can talk about "falling in love all over again" like you're just reminded of how good they are.

December for BTS

Queen of cups

Intuition, creativity and emotional stability. They're using intuition to guide their moves foward with emotional maturity. They are in a place of knowing what they want and why. This would be a good time to work on an album or a book or to release them. The queen of cups is like the friend that you can tell absolutely anything and somehow they have a helpful answer. This card is really calm and it can also talk about subconscious thoughts.

I think that bts is maybe making more of a conscious effort to make sure that what they do is just as emotionally fulfilling for them as it is for us! They might be kinda pondering the future at this time and considering if this is what fills their emotional cup!

December: possibly a thing?

Now these cards are the vibe of the year and some advice.

For the collective (on the left)

Three of swords and judgment reverse.

The fortune says "accept the challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory"

The 3 of swords is about disappointment and hurt and heartbreak. It's about the emotional release that we all need when shit gets tough. Don't pretend to be strong. If you need to cry, fucking cry. This year is about letting go of expectations and do what you have to do to release so you can move foward and not have these things pile up.

You have to make an effort to not let yourself take on what other people think of you. You aren't defined by what some asshole says. You define yourself.

Judgment reverse is about self doubt and ignoring your path. It's being stagnant and being harsh on yourself. This year has a focus on building yourself up and noticing when you are not. Bring light to the things that are holding you back without harsh judgment for yourself. You can't beat yourself up. If you make a bad decision you know not to make it again. Take accountability and move on.

The oracle card is inner temple.

Seriously all the focus of this year is in self improvement and dear god, please take time to work on yourself spiritually!!! Everything you want to know is there if you take the time to listen. This should be a place where you feel safe and welcome. It definitely should not feel like something you HAVE to do.

For BTS

10 of swords and page of swords

The fortune says "you create your own stage. The audience is waiting" (how tje fuck?? This is the perfect fortune)

The 10 of swords is a painful but necessary end. This is accepting the current situation. They maintain focus for 2021 for them is adapting and keeping their spirits up.

With the page of swords it talks about new ideas and that kind of creativity. It's also a lot about communication so I really think that they'll be figuring out new ways to connect and new projects that will be prosperous.

The oracle card is Pleiades

This is what we talk about all the time. Bts has helped so many people want to be better and do better. They are uplifting humanity and giving people a sense if belonging. Bts finds you when you need them most 💜💜💜

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wow I had to write this up over 2 days bc this was so fucking long. I need a nap. Idk if I'll proof read this before I post it so don't hate me for the mistakes (honestly, there's like 10,000 spelling and grammar mistakes in my other posts too 🙃)

I hope you guys enjoyed it and maybe this will be helpful to to have a forecast of some possible energy for you to look out for!!

Also bts bc I love them. I have another bts 2021 reading I'll do soon too!

Hope you guys are happy and well 💜

[franki-lew-yo]

I really hate 2d purists. No, not 2d animation. Not 2d animators.

2d purists.

The sad thing is it’s gotten to the point that I really cringe hearing any pro-2D sentiment at all. I hate the arguments I agree with because how often they're misused and weaponized by idiots.

Let me make my stance here clear - 2d is NOT appreciated and 3d is used for everything! The layman Karen-mom who doesn’t have an artistic bone in her body looks at stupidsmooth 3D Grubhub ads and assumes quality cause it “looks more real” (aka ‘rendered’). I know as much is true because I literally have a member of my family who told my sister and I that she thinks 3d is better (and also that she “tolerated THOSE movies for us kids”. Touching words. My sister was taking an animation course by the way). Combined that with the studios either using 2D for cheap stuff or finding good 2d animation too “costly”, I get it and I’m not even any animator. I'm just a worm an illustrator.

but holy HELL -

There’s a backlash from the artistic community that's it's own kind of insufferable and deserve to be addressed.

“(insert2Danimatedfilm) is better BECAUSE it's 2D!”

followed by: "Animation is a visual medium and the quality of the art affects how much the story means !!!!”  

Yes. Totally. Animation is a visual medium and the look and style is important. Sadly, people use this excuse to really obnoxious ends, insisting that design being pretty is '' everything ''. When you treat a movie more as a special effects demo I get why you talk about the artistry at hand; but I’m sorry, visuals are not the only thing important and it’s why I’m also getting sick of the sameElsafacesyndrome rants too! There’s this attitude that's reads as "but it LOOKS better fromaproductionimage/teasertrailerwhichapparentlyisindicativeof all themovieactuallyis so it MUST BE better".

-“3D should only be used to make things look realistic!”

I think I know the logic this criticism is made in response to, and that’s the Sony + Illumination films which look just as good in 2D as they do in three dimensions. I know it feels like people are twisting this medium to try and make it like a classic cartoon when by all means people can and would love a classic cartoon being a classic cartoon. That I get- From the unsung 2D animator’s perspective, that’s more than valid !

But it’s a huuuuuuge slap in the face to 3d in saying it should only be used for "realistic animation" because

1: It’s not like realistic animation could age badly or look uncanny in the next few years. It's almost like technology is constantly improving, which I guess 2d animation never did and it was always the same technique and quality as every film that came after it.

2: The industry does treat 3d as a magic-moneymaker for this reason. Just listen to these people call the 2019 LION KING “live action” as if they’re embarrassed to call it animation. It IS animation! It would be impressive if you acknowledged that what it is, but like the CATS, you basically are treating it as just a neato tool to better your live action and not it's own artform - which it is!

3: By this “three-deeonly gud when real liek in da toystories” non-logic I guess 2d should ONLY be for flowyflowy SPACE JAM cartoons and maybe some Disney*. Just that though. You can’t do anything more with 2d. It’s never supposed to be realistic I guess. Good thing Richard Williams only did 'toons' and just toons that’s why we need 3d in the world I guess.

Wait no - that’s stupid.

"I HAVE to see the “Land Before Time 14″ when it comes out! I mean it’s a 2D animated film!"

Lost in the aether that is Youtube comment chains removed from kid's videos is a stream of this very VERY stupid argument supporting the buying of the 14th LAND BEFORE TIME film because it’s supporting 2D. My sister and I can be found on that chain arguing against this stupidity. All you have is my word, but trust me: it really did happen.

I’m sorry but...no.

Unless you have a friend or a family member who worked on these movies there’s no reason to see this and ESPECIALLY no reason to insist it’s a win for the 2D community if you buy up this crap - and I'm not judging if you do like it, but come on! LAND BEFORE TIME 14 isn't where your money should go if you really like this medium.

What’s so infuriating about this argument is you can tell it’s made by nonanimators. Real animators will tell you to support their movies cause they want some respect for their artform which is why there’s such a push from the PRINCESS AND THE FROGcrowd that you SEE and LOVE every 2d thing out there, regardless of how good it is because any recognition for it is k i n d o f what they're after!

Kiddy sequel schlock isn’t even in the same ballpark as KLAUS or WOLFWALKERS; these films DID have very limited theatrical runs (Klaus so it could be nominated; Wolfwalkers in places where theaters opened up after Covid) and should have been supported because they were labors of love made by people who love animation.

As other people have already pointed out, one of the reasons for the lack of interest in 2000sera2D animation is that the only films released alongside critical+financial 3D hits were cheaper 2D films that either coincided with daytime tv shows or should have been just direct-to-video. It’s not to say art couldn’t come out of these flicks, but dayum if it wasn’t abused as much as the texture software that era's CG used... Point being, should the world ever go back to normal: If you hear about an out-of-town showing an acclaimed 2D animated film, make time to trek out and see THAT!

Don’t give your money to see yet another made-for-tv movie on the big screen because all that tells the studio is: “yeah 2d IS cheap and only good for cheap stuff let’s just keep it cheap. Only 3d is important 8D 8D 8D !!!"

“I don’t understand how it works. So it sucks.”

This text is from an ANIMATOR btw.

“I don’t understand how it works” and “it’s just some computer rendering” is the exact same wave of logic the people who prefer cgi use.

The plebian Karen I mentioned earlier? She understands the basics of 2D animation as much as you did from one of those cruddy flash classes you took in middle-school. She 'understands' the basics cuz she watched how it was made on the DVD features or maybe back on the WONDERFUL WORLD OF DISNEY. To her, the illusion is broken and she’s not impressed by 'just some drawings on paper'. You, an animator, know the process is more complicated and is intrigued by knowing how it’s made - not bored or disinterested -

Neither you nor Aunt Karen have really good cg-animation software at your house and unless you ARE a 3D animator you probably DON’T know all the ins-and-outs of how these movies are modeled, rendered, and animated.

Aunt Karen is bedazzled by them cause she doesn’t know how it works and the technical aspect makes her brain hurt so it might as well be magic and she can feel like a cool kid sharing Minion-memes. Aunt Karen is the nonartistic type who just wants to feel safe. You're not. You want to feel challenged.

I get it: you’re pissed off cause you’re in a field no one, including Aunt Karen, appreciates; told to work in cg which it's an artform you didn’t devote your life to and told to learn it cause THIS style sells! 3D is everywhere and is starting to look like 'garbage' even if you don’t animate 3D models yourself you just KNOW, I guess. Besides, you know all there is to know about 2d!! You know all there is to possibly know about this artform and have to fight this 'war' against "r e a l" animation! And I mean even when 3d software is there to use, it's not like you can actually make anything worth while in it, especially not anything that transcends the medium. Right Worthikids?

TL;DR: This argument is basically just " BWAAAAH I’M NOT GONNA USE IT I HAVE STANDARDS (a chip on my shoulder cuz art should be what I deem it to be) "

“PRINCESS AND THE FROG is-”

There’s a reason I can’t say I truly like PRINCESS AND THE FROG even though it's not even a bad movie! Like, stop reading this and watch PATF if you haven't it's good. It's my 'FROZEN', in that; I see a lot of potential in it I just think it needs some serious rewriting and that bugs me. Always have felt that way, tbh.

I dislike this movie because the response from the animation community seems to be it was perfect and the Academy was just Pixar-crazy with UP ((ftr, the Academy IS Pixar’s bitch and I personally advocate a sequel be made to WAKING SLEEPING BEAUTY about Mike Eisner’s sabotage of the 2D department at Disney which is still in place now!- but that’s a story for another day)). I’m sorry but UP was just a better story. So was CORALINE. So was FANTASTIC MR. FOX. Honest to god it feels like poor PATF is brought up as just a talking point and never for it's own worth as a labor of love - which it was! I'd like to honestly know: had PRINCESS AND THE FROG come out now and been cg if it would have even half the defenders for it because now it doesn't "look" like how a Disney movie "should" look...

If you like PatF more than the currant Disney lineup because of it's culture, it's music, it's feminism, it's black representation? Awesome. Great. Those things should be appreciated and I never want that taken away from you. But if you seriously think PatF is better just for how it was animated and looks - I lowkey may hate you.

“ALL OF DISNEY’S LATEST MOVIES SHOULD HAVE BEEN 2D! THEY ALL LOOK AWFUL IN 3D!! ALL OF THEM!”

TANGLED, FROZEN, and MOANA? Yeah. Sure. But um, e x c u s e y o u- WRECK IT RALPH sooooo doesn’t work in 2d! It could have used different between the various worlds but it’s about hopping through different video games. I’m also of the opinion that ZOOTOPIA and BIG HERO 6 are fine the way they are. Their 3d is awesome.

The latest fairy tale Disney films are really big on their place alongside the 2D canon esp in marketing. They keep trying to mimic 2D to varying results though I don't think it works as well as the movie's I'd previously mentioned. Me personally, I would love a mix of 3D and 2D technology, like if the backgrounds in FROZEN still got to be 3D but the characters were handdrawn and shaded ala KLAUS ((sweet sigh)). But even then are they truly unwatchable just based on how they're animated to you?

MOANA would have been incredible in 2D but for the record - I don't think it feels out of place in it's style. It reminds me more of a Pixar movie with the heart of a Disney classic which is it's own just as good.

“2D is the oldest form of animation and it’s being replaced.”

Actually, if we’re talking animation in film, stop motion is the earliest form of animation. The stop motion animated THE ADVENTURES OF PRINCE ACHMED and TALE OF THE FOX predate Disney’s SNOW WHITE. And yes: stop-motion IS still a form of animation even if it’s a serious of pictures taken of real life things and not drawings, so don’t you dare come at me with the "but that's not animated"/"Technically it’s LIVE ACTION" crap or I’ll envoke the spirit of Sandman to get you at night.

“Every animated film would look better in 2D! Even PIXAR would look better in 2D!”

Again, Stop Motion.

No, I mean it.

Lemme ask: Would ISLE OF DOGS or FANTASTIC MR. FOX carry any of the same effect if they were generic 90s toons? I know NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS wouldn’t. Christ, don’t even get me started on Svankmajer!

Sometimes the problem is that a movie is envisioned with a specific artform in mind. Pixar started out with toys and bugs for a reason and that’s cuz they were always gonna be a 3d studio and they needed to first overcome the placisity of the models. Over the years they’ve gotten really good at effects and blending unrealistic proportions with real textures (and also not so much- ONWARD and THE GOOD DINOSAUR really needed some different character designs and yeah, I do think would have looked better with a 2d artstyle, but not the ones they had in their films. THE GOOD DINOSAUR needed more realistic-speculative looking dinos and ONWARD needed a grittier HEAVY METAL/BLACK CAULDRON appeal to its designs.) My point being that the problems with these movies aren’t even inherently the animation as much as it is a problem of style. As someone who runs a group speculating different styles and designs for movies and tv shows I’m all for envisioning a 2D ZOOTOPIA or Bluth-inspired FNAF. That’s amazing!

But that’s also the talk of fan artists and nerds and not the professional artists working on visualizing their stories!!

Since I ate, slept, and breathed NIGHTMARE in my youth I’ll use it as an example: All the concept art ever done for TNBC was on paper and 2D was used in the final film. However, even when Tim Burton was thinking of making it just a tv special it was always going to be stop-motion. NIGHTMARE’s puppet cast do work very well in two dimensions, believe me, but the film was made as a love letter to Rankin/Bass and the art form of stop-motion. Skipping to another Henry Selick-helmed project (haha), JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH was also always envisioned as a multimedia film to give it a truly dream-like atmosphere. If you know anything about Henry Selick you’ll know he’s 1) a perfectionist, and 2) loves mixed media and different types of animation and puppetry at once. That’s why he was the perfect pick to direct TNBC at the time, why JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH and CORALINE are so beautiful and why MOONGIRL, his only fully 3d film, doesn’t have the same appeal.

As for what films I couldn’t imagine NOT being 3D? Probably; 9, Padak, Next Gen, Soul, Finding Nemo, the Toy Story films, Wreck-it-Ralph (as previously mentioned), Wall.E, Waltz with Bashir, Robots, Inside Out, Arthur Christmas, The Painting, Happy Feet, Shrek, Enter the Spiderverse, Megamind… just naming a few here.

“I want a traditionally animated film [and by that I mean a 90s-Disney/Don Bluth looking movie] of ‘x'-popular live action/stage thing!”

Okay I’m cheating a bit but it’s my blog and so I’m gonna stick this one in because it’s related.

When I see musings about wanting live-action or CGI shiz to be in 2d again a lot of the time this argument actually boils down to " I want this to look like a 90s Didney movie ". Or, if it’s about animals - " I want it to look like a Don Bluth film! "

Like...there ARE other styles of animation out there...you know that right?

Frack, Disney themselves tried different styles throughout the 90s it’s just that the peak of the Disney renaissance films (LITTLE MERMAID, BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, ALADDIN, THE LION KING) and the many imitators that followed tended to have the same look to them where only film/animation nerds kept watching into the era that was TARZAN, HERCULES, and ATLANTIS along with the kids. Aunt Karen wasn't singing Part of your World in the carride with you every day.

The Don Bluth argument is especially irritating because...what exact feeling do you WANT from a movie if it looked Bluthish? Each of the four ‘quintessential’ Bluth movies (NIMH, AMERICAN TAIL, LBT, and ALL DOGS) have such a different feel to them that’s complimented by that style; SECRET OF NIMH is a drama about wild animals trying to understand humans; LAND BEFORE TIME is even more squarely about an animal’s perspective as there’s literally no humans around; AMERICAN TAIL uses animals stowing away on the ship to tell a story about refugees; and ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN is ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN.

What the frack are you even asking for with that because I think there’s a certain flavor to the Bluth-styled oeuvre as well as the 90s Disney catalogue that would clash too much stylistically with some films.

Also come on! Like some Bluthian-style 2d would really fix THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS or SCOOB!, bite me.

I think this fixation solely on these two hand drawn styles and nothing else is based on nostalgia goggles, refusing to step outside the norm and discover different films and feelings than Disney and Bluth, and just preference. Goin back to NIGHTMARE there will always be a special place in my heart for Henry Selick’s stop motion, but I couldn’t imagine CHICKEN RUN or ANOMALISA in it's unique style.

Also I’m tired of every time there’s a "lets make an animatic to ‘x’ musical theater song" it’s reliably just Disneyesque or realistic. WHY envision an animated version of the show at all if it doesn’t have A STYLE to it??!?! I’m sorry but 90s-Disney does NOT fit CABARET!

“3D is so CHEAP now! Why can’t they just do 2D again?”

I think - on the cusp of the 2020s and the Grubhub hatedom, there ARE changing times ahead for 3d and 2d. The general public are starting to get tired of the same looking 3d films and wanting some 2d back, but they don’t have the best resources or opinions on animation to know what it is they want. Meanwhile, the animation community + industry is trying to figure out what to do and you have a lot of turmoil between the monopoly that is the industry, the high standards of the artists, and the mixed wants of the animation fanbase deciding what art needs to be.

It’s a tough business. And in the spirit of that tough business - maybe DON’T act like the means of a film’s production is solely your control, that you know best, and know definitively what the artists should have done....cuz you don't. Sorry my fellow criticalfanomanalysist-folks we DON'T and in an age of standom where fans and critics think it's okay to hackle indie animation studios about not getting their pitched cartoon out fast enough - we need to reserve these discussions to our circles and not treat them as gospel.

3d animation and 2d animation have to share this world. Stop acting like they’re either interchangeable in terms of budget, means of production, or artistry or that one has to be superior to the other.

The industry already says one art form is better (spoiler: it’s always live-action), we don’t need anymore of this purist garbage. Just stick to what you like while trying new things on the side. Be critical while also being compassionate. And remember: