#i'd love to go back to bed instead of starting my shift lmao

[usernelly]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! i hope you have the loveliest day! MWAH 💖✨💕💖✨💝

thank you so much dee!! 💖😘

[civilight-eterna]

Can I request Leizi/Blaze with some heavy bondage, intense E-stim and maybe some latex? Electric powers and a strong cat who can take some punishment sound like a fun combo

anon i honestly fucking love you for this request how in the FUCK did you just stumble into some of my top kinks and with this ship to boot AAA

this got so filthy. lmao.

...

She's so fucking beautiful.

Blaze's head is completely empty save for this solitary thought as Leizi closes the distance between them with her stern, pretty scowl, her steely blue eyes shining with a dangerous light, the slight wispy movements of her hair fluttering with live static. It's the worst state to be in when she needs every available faculty to prepare for whatever Leizi does to her next.

Whatever preparation she might be able to mentally make is the extent of it; she can't move the rest of her body. All she can do is prop her cheek against the pillow and point her adoring, breathless expression at her mistress-just the way Leizi likes. The Yanese silk ropes that lace and criss-cross through her forearms and behind her back are meticulously tied, as lovely as they are unyielding.

Just like her, Blaze thinks.

She feels Leizi's weight behind her on the bed, her small, slender hands easing beneath either one of Blaze's hips and guiding them up until she's on her knees.

When they started doing this, Blaze knew that neither of them thought it would become so frequent a form of stress relief-but curiously, Leizi never failed to innovate on their formulas. Blaze had definitely not imagined herself 'behaving well', as Leizi liked to put it, but the way that any of her most gentle of touches could so suddenly be suffused with a healthy spark sinking deep into flesh had a way of keeping her obedient that couldn't be replicated by anyone else.

The only off-limits place that Leizi insisted upon not sending a current through was anywhere at or above her bust line-too dangerous, she insisted, and to be certain that Blaze's pacemaker was not at risk, Leizi had her wear a tailor-made black latex top to every session: it fully covered her chest, arms, and the perimeter of her throat.

"I heard you were out of control on the mission today." Leizi casually slots herself behind Blaze, her tone even, but Blaze knows better.

Blaze knows she's in trouble.

"It...worked out though!" Blaze offers cheerfully, "You're always asking us to handle things efficiently, right? What can I say...? I really take all your advice to h-"

Blaze lurches forward with a choked cry as white-hot electricity courses through Leizi's fingers on their drag up the back of her thighs. Anything clever she'd meant to say promptly falls out of her head.

"I missed you." Even without looking, Blaze can tell Leizi is scowling, trying to put on her usual, brave face. "What did you expect me to do if something happened to you?"

"But something's always happening. You know I'd never leave you waiting if I could help it."

"'If you could help it', huh?" Leizi murmurs thoughtfully as she strokes Blaze's underwear down the back of her bare legs. "What if you couldn't? What if you just, couldn't help yourself?"

Her fingers rake apart the flesh of Blaze's rear end, exposing her, and from deep in her palms comes a buzzing dull hum of electricity.

"-Aah, fuck-" Blaze moans, her mouth halfway obscured against the pillow, "-fuck fuck fuck please-"

"Maybe I want that. Maybe I just want you to work with what you're given?" She shifts her hips, and Blaze can feel the silicone weight between Leizi's legs and beneath her skirt, sliding along her drenched slit, parting her lower lips and teasing the length of it along.

"Leizi-" Blaze whines, her hips straining against hers. She can't move an inch, and Leizi's just...stroking her. More than once Blaze thinks she's going to finally slip inside, she's certainly soaked enough for it to be a possibility, but then she stops and sends another current of electricity through her ass instead that makes her eyes roll back.

"Can you do that for me?" Leizi finally begins easing the tip of her strap into her, guiding it with her free hand to stretch down where Blaze will feel it the most, "Can you handle this like a big girl?"

"Yes, god, yes, please-!" Blaze blurts, her voice cutting out into a split cry of agonized euphoria as Leizi slides forward deep, bottoming out into her to the hilt. "Aaah-" Blaze can barely put a word together as Leizi works the length of it slowly out, then sends it back in in its entirety with a quick pump of her hips, again and again.

Leizi must be really pissed; she seats a faster pace, and the aftershocks of each thrust become something a little more literal in nature as a fresh current of electricity races up and down the front and back of her thighs, crawls through her feet, and pulses through the front of her abdomen on every pump.

"C-Cumming, fuck, fuck-" Blaze gasps through chattering teeth, and Leizi wrenches a hand into her hair-

"In my lap-" Leizi positions herself under Blaze, "-right now."

Frustrated, Blaze bends herself into place, slides herself down to bounce on it, whining all the while. She's a mess, her skin hot, her hair plastered to the sheen of sweat forming at her low back, and her arms ache behind her as Leizi grabs the ropes and helps her ride, but she's too wound up to negotiate for anything faster.

The only surprise is when Leizi's free hand slides over the smooth latex covering her chest, dimpling the shiny material as she fills her fingers with Blaze's left breast.

"If it were up, to me-" Leizi pants as her mouth hovers closer to Blaze's ear, "-if I could, hold your life in my hand..." Something about her voice changes here, like she's actually asking permission, "...may I?"

"Y-Yes-" Blaze wheezes, still bouncing, and Leizi's fingers contort tighter, static coursing through Blaze's chest.

Her pacemaker shorts out and the absence of its sensation as her heartbeat slips into freefall-arrhythmia is dizzying.

Then, steadily-

Her heart throbs under Leizi's hand, responding to each little wave.

"I know your pulse by now. Every vibration, how it feels when it speeds up, when it slows down..." Leizi's chest is pressing hard into her back-she lets out a whimper, and Blaze realizes she's not just manipulating her heartbeat, but her own as well, syncing them.

"L-Leizi, please-please just-!"

"Yes-" Leizi squeezes closer, "-let's."

Leizi forces a current through Blaze's pacemaker to return it to its functional state before collapsing over the top of her to finish pounding her full back down into the mattress.

"H-Holy, holyfuckingshit-" Blaze pants, squirming through their shared climax with a scream as Leizi pushes her over the edge.

It leaks down her inner thighs, warm and obscene, and Blaze feels so pleasantly full that she can't even support herself on her knees anymore. She catches her breath as Leizi begins to untie her and massage where the ropes had dug in.

"I'll get you water. Did I go too far...? I just-you're too reckless-! You should really keep in mind that you're risking far more than just your own well-being when you're on the battlefield, no matter how self-assured you are-"

Leizi is flustered, and Blaze gets it. She kind of broke her own cardinal rule. With express permission, but still.

Time for aftercare with a lecture.

"You didn't do anything I didn't want. You know I'm not exactly a pushover. Guess it was a little shocking though-"

"Shut up-"

Blaze grins her usual, affable, handsome smile up at Leizi, and she sighs loudly before leaning down for a kiss. Blaze wraps her arms around her, into her wealth of blonde hair, and feels their heartbeats join once more.

[libraryofloveletters]

just want to say firstly that’s you are an amazing writer! i was wondering if you could write a ravi fic similar to your spencer one where he takes care of the reader while they are sick? very cute and fluffy :)

Couldn’t Leave You Alone 

Ravi Panikkar x Reader 

Warnings: mentions of being sick and childhood illnesses, Ravi being the cutest boyfriend on the planet

Category: Fluff

Word Count: 1.6k

Author’s Note: Thank you for the sweet words! <3 I’ve been a little MIA when it comes to writing so I thought I'd give this to y’all so you know I'm still alive lmao 

---- 

You had only started working a few months ago, you're a kindergarten teacher and as everyone knows, little kids are germ magnets. 

There was a cold spreading through the class and you tried your best to remind your little ones to wash their hands, cover their coughs and sneezes and use tissues. Yet there you were sitting in the class room with half of your kids out, sick from whatever cold was being passed around. 

The kids were out in the yard on recess while you sat at your desk, typing up a little note for the parents. You were sending home a list of things that can be done to help prevent the kids from further spreading the cold which you assumed was common knowledge but just as a friendly reminder. 

All of a sudden, you sniffle. Thinking it up to allergies, you ignore it until it happens again and again. 

No way you picked up the cold the kids had. 

It was only the first recess which meant you still had lunch and the afternoon classes to get through. You were determined to get through it instead of going home because it was just the sniffles - or so you thought. 

As the day went on, more and more symptoms appeared. A cough, headache and a constant runny nose and you want to go home and cuddle up in bed but there is only 20 minutes left. 

You managed to wrangle all the kids into their seats and get them to work on their art work quietly for the remainder of the day. 

Taking the rare quietness of your class to text your boyfriend, Ravi. 

To Ravi: What time are you off work?

From Ravi: Should be home by 6:30 if we don’t get called out. Everything okay? 

To Ravi: I think I'm coming down with the cold the kids have. Maybe you shouldn't come over tonight, I don’t want you to get sick too 

From Ravi: if you think that’s what’s best. Give me a call if you need anything okay ?

To Ravi: I will, love you. 

From Ravi: love you more. 

Finally the day came to an end, you helped your kids pack up before dismissing them to their parents. Picking up your stuff, you head up to the office to let the ladies know you won’t be in tomorrow and that they’re going to need a substitute teacher before heading head for the day. 

--- 

You were laying on the couch after you got in, too tired to move or to change your clothes when there’s a knock on your front door. 

Who’s bothering me now? 

You begrudgingly get up and drag yourself to the front door, pulling it open without asking who was there. 

Your boyfriend, Ravi stood at the front door with two bags in his hands. “Hi,” he smiles, pressing a kiss to your forehead before walking in. “Oh do you have a fever?” he asks, setting the bags down on the counter. 

Pushing the door shut, you lean against it before turning to look at him. “What part of ‘I don't think you should come over’ do you not understand babe?” 

“I couldn't leave you on your own, plus I know how miserable you get when you’re sick.” he starts unpacking the bags. Orange juice, Tylenol and all the ingredients to make chicken noodle soup. 

“Do you have a thermometer ?” He turns to you, hand on your back as he shuffles you back to the couch. 

“Uh,” you sniffled, reaching for a tissue. “Bathroom probably.” 

You settle back into the couch, pulling the blanket over your lap when Ravi returns, thermometer in hand. “It’s not even 6 yet, how are you off work?” 

“I told Cap you weren't feeling well and promised to stay late on my next shift.” he smiles at you, checking your temperature. 

“You didn’t have to do that, I would have managed.” 

“Yeah I know, but I wanted to.” Ravi kisses your forehead once more. “40.6° (105.8°F), you’ve got a fever.” He leaves you on the couch for a few minutes before returning with a glass of water and Tylenol. 

“How’d I get so lucky to have such a stubborn boyfriend like you?” you look up at him, smiling as you take the meds and the glass of water from him. Ravi sits beside you on the couch, his arm over your shoulder as you take the meds. 

“I’d say I'm the lucky one but I guess whatever you wanna call it works too,” he jokes, pulling you into his side. 

The two of you stayed in that position for a while, your head on his shoulder with his arm around you as the tv played quietly in the back. 

Ravi glances down at you, checking if you're asleep or not. “Feeling any better?” 

You hum, sitting up properly. “Kinda, I think the fever is almost gone but i still got a headache.” you tell him, watching as he gets up. HIs hands stretched out for yours before you grabbed them. 

Ravi walks you to the bathroom, turning on the shower as you lean on the counter. “Take a shower, it’ll help bring down the fever.” He tells you, his back turned to you as he checks the water. 

“I’ll get some clothes out for you,” he gives your arm a squeeze before he steps out of the bathroom. 

You really did wonder how you got so lucky to have him. 

Stripping off your work clothes, you stay into the shower and immediately shiver when the water touches your skin. “Ravi!” you shout, your arms wrapped around yourself. 

Ravi sticks his head into the bathroom, “what’s wrong?” 

“It’s so cold!” you peek out at him from behind the shower curtain. Ravi gives you a small smile, stepping into the bathroom to come check the water. 

Technically, this was a problem you could fix yourself before since Ravi was so keen on taking care of you tonight, might as well let him. 

Ravi pulls the curtain back slightly to stick his hand in and feel the water. The warm water falls on his face before he glances at you. He reaches over, pressing his hand to your stomach. 

“It's not cold, baby, you just think it is because you still have a fever.” He explains, “do you want me to get in with you? Hold you?” He offers like the gentleman he is.

You shake your head, “I don't wanna get you more sick than I'm sure you are right now. I’ll be okay, thank you” you give him a small smile and he returns it. 

“Just shout if you need me.” Ravi tells you before pulling the curtain back to where it was before. 

--- 

After the shower, you were feeling a little better. Ravi had left your favourite pyjamas on the bed and you could smell something coming from the kitchen. 

When you were done getting dressed, you followed the smell out into the kitchen where you found Ravi by the stove, stirring something in a pot. “Feeling any better?” he asks, leaving the pot to help you sit at the chair by the kitchen table. 

“Yeah, a little better. Thank you” you look up at your boyfriend when he sets a mug with some sort of ginger concoction in front of you. 

“Nani’s recipe for ginger chai,” he noticed you leaving down to smell what was in the mug. “It’ll cure anything, I swear by it.” he tells you, watching you take a sip of it. 

“This is really good,” you look up at him over the mug, taking another sip. “Fresh ginger - it’s better than the pre-made tea bags.” he hums, dishing out whatever was in the pot into two bowls. 

Ravi sits across from you, sliding a bowl over to you. “Soup- I figured you didn’t eat anything today.” 

“You figured right,” you pick up the spoon, slowly taking mouthfuls of the soup. “Nani’s recipe too?” 

“Mom’s - this and a cup of chai was all I used to eat when I was a kid” he says quietly, your heart breaking a little. 

You knew all about Ravi’s childhood, he would tell you bits and pieces but you never pushed him to talk. He knew you were there if he wanted to talk but it was hard, people looked at him differently after he told him - like he was fragile or like he’d break if they asked him questions so he tended to not tell people. 

“I can see why, it’s good.” you smile, Ravi nodded. 

The two of you eat in silence, Ravi occasionally offering up bits about his day before the Tylenol was kicking in. As much as you wanted to stay awake and listen to him, your head dropped onto your arms that were stretched out in front of you on the table. 

Ravi smiled to himself, clearing the table before coming back and helping you up. “Time for bed yeah?” he walks you to the bedroom, sitting you on the bed. 

“Ravi” you whine, rolling over to look at him when he returns with a glass of water. 

“Yeah?” 

“Too hot in here- I swear it wasn't so hot a few minutes ago” 

He pulls your shirt off, leaving you in your tank top before getting in bed beside you. “Better?” 

You snuggle into his side as he pulls the blanket over the two of you. “Better.” Ravi smiles, kissing the top of your head. 

----

taglist: @queerpanikkar (cause you’re my fav Ravi stan) @advicefromnixxxx @spencersendgame @keenmarvellover @beth-winchester     @fernandaweasley2 @yikesyikesyikes95 @hotchsdarling @duhbar1975 @wowitsel @mrspeacem1nusone @hauntedmilkshakeghost @iris-oaklee-carter-911oc @twistnet @navs-bhat @kellykidd @x-kermit-x @elisiarhee @biqherosix 

[rogue-durin-16]

THINGS NEVER GO AS PLANNED (Part III/VII)

"shock therapy"

Summary: After Fred's death, George and Y/n lean on each other to carry on. This wasn't the most brilliant idea, though; George was pretty much in love with the girl, and Y/n— well, she had been dating Fred prior to the Battle of Hogwarts.

Pairing: George Weasley x Reader

Genre: angst mostly

Tags:

Suggested by: @crispykittywitch

Things never go as planned: @sarcasticallywitty15 @beautyschoo1dropout @s1ut4georgeweasley @leovaldez37 @missmulti @weasleywh0r3s

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog

Warnings: language, grief, allusions to suicide, mentions of death, let me know if I missed something

A/N: okay this is... Kinda dark, but I mean, expected given the prompt I'm working with lmao, I'd say enjoy but... Well, enjoy <3

Prologue: the aftermath

Part I: sleepless nights

Part II: candy floss

Part IV: wrong name

Part V: the perfect excuse

Part VI: the downfall

Part VII: apart

Epilogue: I still love you

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

It began with small actions, like waking up earlier than me, or taking on making breakfast himself.

I thought he was feeling better.

Then came the big actions, like deciding to switch places with me an working with the clients while I made the shippings.

I started to feel something was off the third day since the exchange; I escaped the office to visit him and he could have easily passed as the giant mannequin in our façade.

"Are you alright?" I questioned in a worried whisper near his ear.

"Of course." I knitted my brows, puzzled at his response. He noticed how odd it had been due to my face, and that forced smile fell for a second as he leaned on me to place a kiss on my crown. "Don't worry about me, darling."

Before I could insist, his attention was stolen by a couple of very confused clients.

The following night in the flat, while we were making dinner, it seemed he had gone back to his usual demeanor, so I figured he was making extra effort to look happy in front of the customers.

I couldn't shake off the feeling that something was wrong, though, something between us; I couldn't pinpoint it, yet knew it existed.

It was that same night that I got a grip of what was going on, when the bed's weight shifted, shaking me out of my sleep just in time to hear a muffled sob followed by a shaky breath.

"George?" His eyes met my own as I propped myself on my forearms.

"Did I wake you?" He questioned, his voice as quiet as mine. "Sorry, love."

Sometimes —more often than not— when he called me that name, I would feel butterflies in my stomach, and the fact that it was normally accompanied by some kind of physical contact didn't help at all.

He extended his arm to reach my hand, his thumb caressing the back of my palm. "Go back to sleep." He commanded in a soft whisper, getting up and walking towards the door.

As the door closed, my chest ached at the mere possibility of us going back to the first week we spend together in the flat after the war.

GEORGE'S P. O. V.

I went straight to the kitchen and splashed my face with water before pouring myself a glass of milk.

Y/n had the brilliant idea of throw away all the alcohol in our apartment to avoid falling into bad habits as a copying mechanism, and, in all honesty, it was one of her best ones.

Grabbing the glass, I made my way to the living room, plopping down on the couch; I wouldn't even try to fall asleep there— it was proven impossible during the first week.

I had to snap out of it and start to sleep in my own room; the war left us all scarred in s million ways, and one of them included that even the slightest, quietest movement would wake you up, and I knew for a fact that Y/n wasn't getting one single night of sound sleep, and I was the one to blame.

"Oi," Speaking of which.

"What are you doing up?"

"Checking on you." She responded, leaning against the doorframe "You alright?" I nodded, but she walked to the couch either way, sitting down and letting herself fall over my chest. "You've been acting weird." She mumbled, snugging her face on my chest and consequently making my heart swell. "You can tell me anything, you know that, right?"

I hummed, my chin resting over her crown as my arm wrapped around her. "I know." I murmured, knowing very well it was lie.

There was several things I couldn't and wouldn't tell her ever, but I wouldn't let her know that. "C'mon, go back to bed."

"Not without you." It wasn't more than a mumble, since she was beginning to fall asleep on my chest, but it was loud enough to trigger me.

How many times I had dreamed of having her just like this, how many times had I yearned to wrap my arms around her and never let go, to kiss her, to sleep with her before the war; I still did.

I still wanted to kiss all her sadness away, to be able to call her mine; I still loved her in a way I shouldn't, and somehow it felt even more wrong now that Fred was gone.

It took me a moment to realise she had, in fact, fallen asleep. I carried her back to her bed and lay her down, carefully pulling the sheets to cover her.

I lay down too, promising myself I would face my fears the next day— I owe her that, at the very least.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n had left the apartment to go down the Diagon Alley to buy groceries and a new blouse.

It's now or never, I thought to myself, standing at the start of the hallway. I took a deep breath and made my way to my room with my bags hanging on my shoulders.

You can do this.

I reached for the knob with shaky hands and turned it.

You can do this.

My arms pushed the door open in a swift movement, my eyes anxiously scanning the room as if I was expecting to find a monster inside.

But there was no monster, it was just my room; a bit dusty and with a musty smell, but still my room.

I left my bags on the floor and sat on the edge of my bed. It wasn't scary, nor haunted, as I thought it would be, and I felt a weight off my shoulders; Y/n would be able to sleep the nights through, instead of waking up every now and then to my gasps and sobs.

Since it had been way easier than I thought it would be, I decided to take it a step further; I would have to enter there sooner rather than later to clean, so why not now?

Oh, what a big mistake I had made.

READER'S P. O. V.

"I'm back!" Somehow, I had managed to climb upstairs whilst carrying all the bags without tripping. "Did you know that Florean Fortescue's has three new ice cream flavours?" I threw the Twilfitt and Tatting’s bag on the sofa and made my way to the kitchen. "Don't be mad but I got you something at Twilfitt and Tatting’s!" Laying the groceries over the counter, I frowned at George's lack of responses. "George?" I left the kitchen and took a look around the flat; maybe he was down in the shop?

I was about to go downstairs when I saw a crack of light down the hall, one coming from a partially open door —from Fred's door.

My heart pounded hard against my chest as I made my way to the part of the house we rarely got to.

I knew George had to be inside, but the fact that no sound was coming out of the room —no sobs, no weeping, no ragged breathing— was about to put me under cardiac arrest.

What if during the last week he had gotten worse —rock bottom kind of worse— and that was why he had been acting so distant? What if those 'don't worry about me's had been foreshadowing something terrible?

I shut my eyes, my pulse hammering as I pushed the door open, dreading to find a horrifying scenario.

Open your fucking eyes, Y/n.

I couldn't help the sigh of relief when I saw George kneeled in the middle of the room, alive and breathing.

Then, I doubled checked and realized that maybe he wasn't that much alive. I circled the ginger so we could be face to face, and my heart shattered at the sight in front of me; his eyes were puffy, his cheeks pale, his nose red and streaks of freshly shed tears wetting his face. His hands clutched onto something that I quickly recognised as Fred's blazer, and my breath caught up in my throat.

"George..." I called his name in a quiet whisper; somehow it felt like we were trespassing.

He then looked up at me, eyes hollow, and spoke words so harsh that they burned, even if they weren't meant to hurt me. "It should have been me."

"George—"

"It should've been me there, I should've gone with Percy."

"Please—"

"It should've been me, not him." I felt my eyes watering, slightly blurring my vision as the man before me kept talking. "He had a life— he had you, I didn't have anything but him." His gaze was now casted down, and I no longer knew if he was speaking to me or to himself. "What am I compared to him? It should be me six feet under, not him."

That last sentence was what snapped me out of the state I was in. "Look at me." I commanded, kneeling in front of him and cupping his cheeks. "Do you think Fred would've wanted you to think that?" His lower lip quivered; we rarely said his name out loud anymore. "He would have beaten your ass. Don't you dare think like that ever again, you hear me?"

"But it's true—"

"No it's not!" I yelled, making him flinch. "It's not, George." I repeated, this time softer, my thumbs caressing his cheeks soothingly. "You're sweet, creative, caring and smart, and I'm so happy to have you here with me." His eyes closed, eyebrows knitted and lips pursed. "You're your own person, and that person is amazing." He leaned on, letting his forehead fall on my shoulder, my hands travelling to his back and hair as his arms wrapped around my waist.

"I miss him, Y/n." He confessed. "I miss him so much— it hurts."

“I miss him too, but I can’t let you lose yourself because of him.” I explained, planting a chaste kiss on his temple. “I cannot lose you too, okay?” I whispered, loud enough for him to hear.

"I'm sorry." His breath fanned on my neck, sending shivers down my spine. "I wanted to get better, so you didn't have to take care of me."

"Oi," I squeezed him tighter, if possible. "We're taking care of each other." His face buried deeper in the crook of my neck and I had to hold back a content sigh. "We can do this— together." I stated. "You can't go on your own for shock therapy— it doesn't work like that." He nodded. "You gave me a big scare."

"I'm really sorry." His hand, which, until then had been holding onto the blazer, let go of it in order to rub my back.

We stayed like that in silence for Merlin knows how long before I spoke against his shoulder, "I bought chocolate strawberries ice cream."

"Is that a thing?" I hummed affirmatively. He slowly pulled away, his hands leaving my back to rest on my waist before they held mines, pulling me up with him. We gazed into each other's eyes for an instant that felt like an eternity. "I didn't mean to scare you, love." He assured me, pulling me into another hug, this one only long enough for him to kiss my crown.

"I know." I pulled away, giving him a small smile that he managed to return, most likely involuntarily. "Wanna try that ice cream?" He nodded and I led him out of the room. "I also bought you a tie at Twilfitt and Tatting’s."

"Why would you buy anything from there?" His voice was starting to recover some strength as we walked to the kitchen with our hands interlaced.

"'Cause it was a very pretty tie." I defended myself, going to the sofa to grab the fancy bag while George went to grab a couple of spoons and the ice cream. "Look."

He walked to me and examined the tie. "Okay, it's quite pretty." He agreed, offering me one of the spoons.

"Told you." I handed him the tie and he gave it another look before leaning down to kiss my cheek.

"You didn't have to buy me anything." That small smile appeared again, making my heart swell.

"Well, I wanted to." I went to sit on the couch and he followed my lead, carefully leaving the tie over the backrest so he could open the tub.

"Sweet." He commented, dipping his spoon into the ice cream and handing me the container. We ate it in silence and, once we finished, his voice filled the room. "I think I might go for a nightwalk."

"It'll do you good." I nodded, bringing my knees to my chest and curling up in the couch after he took the spoon away from me and got up to leave it in the sink.

"Do you wanna come?" His quiet, almost sheepish question made my head turn to the kitchen door. "I mean— you've just come back but—" He left the kitchen, staring at me expectingly, scratching the back of his neck. "uh... if you wanna come, I could use some company."

"I'd love to." I didn't even notice the way my gaze lighted up until I saw it reflected on his own features, that shone with the slightest tinge of joy.

The fact that I was able to do that only by smiling at him made my tummy flutter.

[bumblesimagines]

No Light, No Light

Request: Yes or No

I'm doing everything but that Jacob Black fic lmao. I'm obsessed with this song and this (Y/N).

You are the hole in my head

You are the space in my bed

You are the silence in between

What I thought and what I said

Jason watched as you laughed at one of Gar's jokes, hands covered in cookie dough as you, Rachel, and Gar attempted to make cookies. In Jason's mind, your smile alone could lift anyone's spirits and the way your eyes shone with happiness. It made his heart swirl with affection and butterflies fill his stomach. You grinned, rubbing cookie dough on Rachel's cheek. She squealed, laughing. Gar took the opportunity to eat some cookie dough before Rachel could scold him.

"Jay!" Christ, nobody could make his legs turn to jelly and his cheeks turn soft pink like you.

"Come join us." You cooed, eyes soft and angelic.

You are the night-time fear

You are the morning when it's clear

When it's over, you're the start

You're my head and you're my heart

You sipped on your orange juice, watching the cookies bake in the oven while Gar and Rachel laughed in the other room. Jason's eyes looked at the golden markings on your (S/C) skin. They were gorgeous and fit you perfectly. Jason reached out, tracing one with his finger. Your skin was warm and soft to the touch. You finished your juice, licking your lips and placing the cup in the sink. Jason glanced up at your eyes. You really were Apollo's son. When Kory and Dick told the team, he almost laughed. Then, he saw you. You had been very suspicious and distant at first, you had an injured wing of course, but you grew closer to the team and eventually joined them. Jason couldn't stop his feelings from flourishing.

No light, no light

In your bright blue eyes

I never knew daylight could be so violent

A revelation in the light of day

Jason hissed, hands gripping the sheets.

"Sorry." You whispered, eyes filled with cocern. You continued to use your power to close up his wound. It gave a slight burn. the deeper the wound, the more it burned. It made sense, your powers had to do with light and fire afterall. Jason shrugged.

"I've felt worse." He mumbled, watching the wound close completely. A scar took its place. You gave a small smile.

"You should be careful, Jay." You gently grabbed his hand, rubbing your thumb against his, unaware of the way his heart sped up. Jason grinned, playfulness shining in his blue eyes.

"I'm always careful, can't you tell?" He motioned to the scar. You let a laugh slip and rolled your eyes.

You can't choose what stays and what fades away

And I'd do anything to make you stay

No light, no light

Tell me what you want me to say

You took notice of the way Jason shivered. The temperature had suddenly dropped over night, it was no wonder he was freezing. You pulled the cozy and warm blanket up, giving a smile as you stood.

"Can you stay?" Jason asked, fingers wrapping around yours as he stared at you with hopeful eyes. You gave in, not being able to resist his puppy eyes. You got into bed with him, feeling him cuddle against you, seeking your warmth.

"Christ, you're like a heater." He mumbled. You chuckled, watching him use your arm as a pillow. You ran your fingers through his messy dark locks, watching him doze off. Jason scooted closer, heading moving onto your shoulder as his arms wrapped around your torso.

Through the crowd I was crying out and

In your place there were a thousand other faces

I was disappearing in plain sight

Heaven help me, I need to make it right

You watched as Dick and Jason argued, getting into each others faces. You stood up from your spot on the couch, approaching them.

"Guys?"

"If you weren't so reckless-"

"Reckless?! I was protecting the team!"

"Guys!" You spoke louder, breaking their argument. They stopped and looked at you. Dick sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He let out an exhausted sigh.

"What?" He asked.

"Can you... Solve this disagreement more calmly? Or at least not in front of the others?" You asked, motioning to Rachel and Gar. Dick glanced at them before nodding.

"Yeah," He nodded. "Can do."

"Jesus.." Jason rolled his eyes, arms crossing.

"You know what? I don't need this shit." Jason snarled, storming out after bumping shoulders with Dick. You watched him leave with a sigh.

"He'll be back. He'd never go far without you." Dick said as he walked past you. Your brows furrowed at his brows.

You want a revelation

You want to get right

But it's a conversation

I just can't have tonight

You shifted your gaze away from the music sheet and looked at the figure leaning against your doorway.

"What's up, Jay?" You asked, nodding for him to enter. He did so, closing the door behind him and getting closer to you.

"Sorry for my attitude earlier, (N/N)." He apologized quietly, barely above a whisper as his fingers drummed against your desk. You faced him, brows raising as a smile slipped.

"You should be apologizing to Dick, not me." You said, locking eyes with him for a brief second before he tore his eyes away.

"I know.." He licked his lips, gaze focusing on your lamp. "I don't want to though. Not yet."

"Okay, but do it soon." You gave a comforting smile.

"You wanna sleep in here again?" You asked, putting away your music sheets and standing up. Jason nodded, cheeks and ears turning a soft red.

You want a revelation

Some kind of resolution

You want a revelation

You approached your dresser, hearing the bed squeaking as Jason sat down. You slid off your shirt, rolling your shoulders. Jason studied your wing markings, capturing and memorizing every detail. You changed into some sweats before going to your bed and laying down. You turned off the lamp once you pulled the blankets up and shifted to face Jason. Your eyes adjusted quickly to the dark so you were able to see Jason's face more clearly. Your raised your hand, fingers tracing random shapes against his cheek until he fell asleep. You leaned closer, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead.

"Night, Jay." You mumbled.

No light, no light

In your bright blue eyes

I never knew daylight could be so violent

A revelation in the light of day

You can't choose what stays and what fades away

And I'd do anything to make you stay

No light, no light

Tell me what you want me to say

"Did Jason ever come back last night?" Dawn asked, pouring you some juice. You nodded. Her brows furrowed.

"Really? When I checked his room he wasn't there." She said.

"He slept in my room." You told her, grabbing the cup and bringing it up to your lips. Her brows raised and a smile appeared on her face.

"Oh?" You cocked a brow at her tone.

"What?"

"He slept in your bed?" She asked with a grin. You rolled your eyes, figuring out where she was going with the conversation.

"Pay attention to your pancakes, Dawn."

Would you leave me

If I told you what I've done?

And would you leave me

If I told you what I've become?

You read over an article, talking about the new Robin being too brutal and unlike the old one. You looked over at Jason, watching play random keys on your piano. You weren't aware of the inner conflict going on in his mind. He was tore between asking you if you thought he was a bad Robin or not.

"Jay?"

"Yeah?"

"You're a good person, you know that, right?" You asked. Jason sent you a grin.

"Obviously." He watched you snort and look back at your phone. He relaxed, playing a decent tune on the piano. Jason licked his lips, switching onto a different conflict. Confessing his feelings.

Because it's so easy

To say it to a crowd

But it's so hard, my love

To say it to you out loud

Jason turned in his seat, looking at you. He cleared his throat. Your eyes flickered over to him.

"You've... You're into guys, right?" Jason asked. You nodded, putting your phone on the nightstand. He nimbled on his bottom lip, racking his brain for ways to confess.

"I think, no, I know I'm into guys." He said, avoiding eye contact. Jason heard the bed squeak and looked up, seeing you sitting.

"And... For the longest time, I've had feelings for you. I thought it was just a small crush at first but..." Jason's typical confident and cocky attitude flew out the window. He was beyond nervous.

"I figured out that I really like you. Maybe more than like. You don't have to return my feelings or anything, I just wanted you to know how I feel about you."

No light, no light

In your bright blue eyes

I never knew daylight could be so violent

A revelation in the light of day

You can't choose what stays and what fades away

And I'd do anything to make you stay

No light, no light

Tell me what you want me to say

Jason felt anxious. The thought of you rejecting him was bad but the thought of you never speaking to him again was worse. He had gone to you with all of his secrets. He had spilled out all his thoughts and problems. Jason had told you about his past, Bruce, all his problems. He heard the bed squeak again and swallowed as your footsteps approached him. Jason kept his gaze on the floor, not wanting to look at you and break down. Warm hands cupped his cheeks, tilting his head up. Soft and gentle lips covered his and Jason froze up. He stood, his hands going to your wrists and grabbing them as he kissed you back. It was his first but he had seen enough to know how to kiss properly.

You want a revelation

You want to get right

But it's a conversation

I just can't have tonight

You want a revelation

Some kind of resolution

You want a revelation

You pulled back slowly, Jason almost chasing your lips for another kiss. You laughed at his flushed face and eagerness. You rested your forehead against his, bumping noses with him. Jason dropped his hands and instead placed them on your hips.

"Does that mean...?" He trailed off. You chuckled, nodding.

"Yes, you dork, I like you too." You grinned, watching his blue eyes light up. Jason leaned in, capturing your lips. It was sloppy but sweet.

You want a revelation

You want to get right

But it's a conversation

I just can't have tonight

You want a revelation

Some kind of resolution

Tell me what you want me to say

[fagsystem]

I stopped making self deprecating jokes about being stupid and started calling myself a himbo. When I'd do something stupid, instead of going "haha i fucking suck" I'd go "himbo energy up in this bitch, we love to see it". That small shift was one of the first unconscious things that I did that bettered my menta health and I cannot stress how drastically.

I was unable to attend much school final term of 2019. I got all N's (not enough to mark you on) on my report cards. Except history, but I didn't even LIKE history I just liked the teacher.

I was very far behind start of 2020, and when we went long distance for a while it got worse.

I felt just stupid.

I'd joke about it in a negative way when I was feeling somewhat okay, and those jokes would come back at night as I laid in bed wondering what I'm worth if I'm not smart anymore.

It was really bad.

And when combined with adhd so severe they could diagnose me with it even when they weren't supposed to with my ptsd, it fed into my internalized ableism and just all of my self loathing.

Stopping that sort of joking and being kind to myself. When I find something I do stupid funny I joke about it in a positive way, when I find it well stupid I'm just kind to myself.

And with body image jokes. I'd talk about how ugly I am all the time, as "jokes". All that and gender dysphoria to cap it off, not having a great time.

And then I'd look in the mirror and just feel ugly.

Even jokes about looking like a lesbian made my gender dysphoria worse.

When I cut it out and instead started doing the one piece of advice we all hate, modifying my thoughts, I got so much better.

I'd modify those self deprecating jokes into positive ones.

"I'm so stupid" became "I did a stupid thing but thay doesn't make me stupid. But this is lowkey funny himbo energy."

"I'm ugly" became "I'm the handsomest bitch around fuck yeah." (generally i mixed that one with some spite like "I look better than the transphobes at my school could ever hope to" or something. Spite really helps. It turns the negativity away from yourself to an external source.)

"I look like a lesbian lmao" became "I'm a wholeass dude and a fucking handsome one hell yeah."

And guess what?

It didn't happen right away.

I've had the absolute worst 4 years. From 10 to 3/4 14, I was a wreck and I felt like I was getting worse and worse. I cannot stress how bad I was doing.

But I got better.

It happened slowly.

I remember so many nights I'd wonder if I'd ever be able to look back and go "we did it".

And I didn't realise when we did it.

There wasn't a big moment or shift.

But over the course of several months I stopped with the self deprecating jokes and stopped following accounts that made them and made me go "lmao same".

And then one day I did look back and went "Holy shit I did it."

And if I can do it you can too.

And you can start with that urge to go "lmao I'm too weak to do that" and change that to "I can do it."

actually you will not enjoy hearing this but you literally have to abandon your self deprecating humor. besides the fact that it can drive people away you literally are only hurting yourself by constantly making jokes that further cement the idea in your head that you are not good enough. I do not care that you think its a good coping mechanism it is absolutely not and you need to start challenging negative thoughts instead of feeding into them.