#i'd like to learn a bit more about disabilities so i can be more informed in general

[applepixls]

in episode 5 etho tells grian and cleo hes "A bit physically disabled today" because of his weeping angel task and later when he's trying to succeed he says "i might need some assistance-" and grian asks "do you want me to help?"

i dont know much but i know chronic disabilities exist and can be more debilitating on some days than others and that help from friends is pretty cool

basically these two interactions put the idea of an ethoslab with some kind of chronic disability into my head and hope the world will do with that what it will :]

Happy Disability Pride Month everyone!

[topazadine]

A Primer on Dyscalculia: The Learning Disorder You Weren't Told About in School

I rarely see people discussing this learning disability, to the point that many believe it doesn't exist (ie, saying math is the universal language and everyone understands it but just doesn't try) so I thought I'd explain a bit about what it is.

Dyscalculia is a learning disability characterized by difficulty with math, numbers, and some systematic learning that requires the use of memorization and application. Like its relative, dyslexia, it is not that someone is "stupid" or "not trying hard enough" to learn math; our brains are essentially wired not to absorb information in this form.

Common symptoms of dyscalculia include:

Inability to do basic math problems

Struggling to count, often using their fingers to count

Difficulty using multiplication and division

Challenges with visualizing heights, lengths, and widths

Difficulty counting change

Struggling to read a clock or divide time into reasonable measurements

Challenges with memorizing numbers, dates, and sequences

No one is actually sure how many people have dyscalculia because it is rarely diagnosed. Right now, estimates are around 3% to 7% of the population, but this is likely a vast underrepresentation.

Educators still believe the myth that everyone can do math and that those who say they can't are just refusing to apply themselves. This causes lifelong problems for dyscalculiacs because if not treated early enough, it is nigh-on untreatable.

Many people with dyscalculia may complete math problems in unusual and time consuming ways. For example, if you asked me to divide 145 by 5 without a calculator, this is how my brain would have to do it:

100 by 5 (20)

20 by 5 (4), then multiply this by 2 (8), then divide 5 by 5 (1)

And finally, add up all the results (20+8+1) to get 29.

Numbers that are not easily divisible or "chunked" like this would be nigh-on impossible for me to do in my head. I wasn't able to memorize the times tables and in fact needed a laminated times table well into elementary school (think 5th grade).

I distinctly remember feeling like everyone else was on the helm of the USS Enterprise when they could so easily shout out answers to simple multiplication or division problems, and I was always the last person to do those stupid times table sheets. Sometimes I couldn't even complete half of it by the time everyone else was done.

I failed 3rd grade math class and had to be assigned a tutor. This was despite getting all As in every single other class. In fact, I failed multiple math classes during my academic career.

Since my grades were so high in other classes, I had to petition to be put in a remedial math class. Everyone assumed that because I did well in things like English, science, civics, and so on, I must have been able to do what my peers could.

A college-level physics class was the hardest class I have ever done in my life, and I have a Master's degree in International Relations, which requires a lot of very dry and complicated political theory. That is the A I am most proud of because it required far more effort than anything before or since.

No one told me what dyscalculia was or identified a problem throughout my entire time in education. I had to seek out resources myself in adulthood before finally learning what my problem was. This, of course, led to significant "math fear" and self-esteem issues, especially in a society that is obsessed with STEM.

This learning disability can have far-reaching effects and impact things that other people may not even consider. There are many connections between systematized learning and math.

Dyscalculiacs may also have trouble with:

Learning languages

Playing musical instruments (because sheet music and tempos are a form of language + math, though it is possible to learn by ear)

Reading maps, including general world geography

Estimating distances

Navigating a new place because they can't make "mental maps"

Dancing (due to the sequencing)

Reading diagrams

Remembering step-by-step instructions without a cheat sheet

Completing complex tasks that have a lot of steps

Starting a project that necessitates doing things in a certain order, such as building something

Cooking or baking (because it requires measuring and matching measurements to specific ingredients)

Repeating sequences, like a phone number

Remembering numbered streets or highways (like I-480, 5th street, or etc)

Playing games that require counting or keeping score, like Yahtzee, card games, and so on

Completing spreadsheets with numbers

Of course, not every dyscalculiac will struggle with all of these things because there are different degrees of severity. Many also learn tactics to compensate. For example, I never learned sheet music but did well in choir because I memorized all the songs entirely by ear.

I have developed visualizations of common routes I travel and can navigate to them by remembering the landmarks I pass. If you tried to ask me specific step-by-step directions of anywhere, I couldn't tell you, but I can tell you that you'll pass a KFC on your right if you're going east (parallel to Lake Erie), and then you will turn left at the big shopping center.

There are plenty of adaptations that everyday people use which are lifelines to dyscalculiacs in ways that other people may never recognize. Formulas on spreadsheets, conversion websites, built-in calculators, and turn-by-turn navigation apps are all examples of accommodations that appeal to everyone but are especially important to dyscalculiacs.

So, the next time you scoff and say "everyone can do math, they're just being lazy" or "cooking is easy" or "anyone can learn a second language if they want to" or "using a calculator is cheating" and so on:

Recognize that you are ignoring a very real learning disability. These statements are ableist.

Such rhetoric is equally damaging as anti-dyslexic statements like "everyone can learn to read," "open dyslexic fonts are ugly," "audiobooks are cheating," "video lessons are lazy" and things of that ilk.

Ableism takes many forms, many of which people refuse to recognize. Difficulty with math is a widespread problem, and it often has nothing to do with trying hard enough or refusing to learn. I remember breaking down in tears trying to do my times table; I would spend hours trying to understand them.

These issues are NOT a lack of willpower or application. They have to do with real neurological deficits. Please be kind to those who can't do math, and stop assuming we're lazy.

[oceansprompts]

Best of Daredevil: Cutting Edge

quotes taken from the Marvel novel, Daredevil: The Cutting Edge (1999) by Madeleine E. Robins // adjust pronouns and lines as needed.

Can I bring you a cup of coffee? I'm already on number seven or eight… I forget which.

Wouldn't you like a chance to go, I don't know, live on a beach somewhere, drinking rum punch or something?

I'd rather go to hell, I love this. This is what I do.

Don't look at me that way; I'm not the one who drank a dozen cups of coffee a day and never got any exercise.

Not bad for a skinny blind kid from Hell's Kitchen.

Not as flashy as Spider-Man, maybe, but not too shabby.

What is this guy, a zombie?

You moron, he's not the perp!

Okay, Mr. Off-the-Rack, what else did you leave behind?

It's okay, you've been very brave.

It was a kind lie, kindly meant.

Don't ever let me lose you.

Pleading "blind man walked into the door" again, your honor.

Yaaaay for the good guy!

So, he was the wall you ran into?

Triumph and hell, all at once. I wish you could have seen it.

How about dinner tonight? In a real restaurant. Like grownups.

Off to Rykers. Another day in Fun City.

Have fun storming the castle!

Maybe I should get Seeing Eye cat?

Well, of the two, I guess the brain's more important.

Doesn't it seem a little too tidy? The pink ribbons and all?

A problem? My dear, I trust you implicitly.

Who put this guy in a position where he can talk to the public?

Not me, I'm naturally suspicious.

Tooth extraction would be more fun than what I'm writing.

I can't smell anything, my food tastes funny…

I'm wasting away to a shadow of my former self.

Two-bit mouthpieces! He actually said that? Who writes his dialouge?

Why not just wave a big, huge red flag that says something suspicious here?

I will be the soul of discretion.

Try not to break any of your well-informed friends too badly loking for information, okay?

Right, everytime you come in to chat, I wind up doing renovations. New plate glass, new tables, new ribcage…

Are you just a discipline problem in the making, or do you have something useful to contribute?

Anyone got anything they want to share with the class?

Naughty, naughty.

No breakage, this time. They're learning.

A little judicious flattery can work wonders.

You're all flipping wild cards. That's part of your charm.

I don't like lawyers!

Call any hour of the day or night.

Don't throw the card away, I'll know.

Okay, hero, play brave, competent, [disabled] person.

Oh, I already do, but make me love him more.

He sounds like the kind of guy who pulled the wings off butterflies and tortured puppy dogs.

Basically, your overprivileged sociopath.

I wasn't always the polished gem you see now.

He has the business ethics of a piranha.

Judiciously applied, the business ethics of a piranha can be very useful.

Make it good, boyo.

If you like it hot, but I gotta say, man, you oughtta use a little caution.

I'm touched by your concern, but I promise you I'm well armed.

Well, the only thing to do with a bully and a coward is face him straight on!

Now it's time for bed, close your weary eyes and dream of me.

You're a darling, but I'm too tired to argue about it.

This is where I'm going to die.

You have great bone structure.

Well, look. The neighborhood avenger. Come on, you wanna play?

Spread the word, sweetheart.

I couldn't... fight him...

You stayed alive, you did the right thing.

Bullies... never give in to... bullies.

You did good, remember that.

Oh my, really bad night.

I don't deserve you.

You roll in here looking like someone shot your dog, so I figure I can be self-absorbed and ill-tempered some other morning.

Listen, sweetheart, whatever you did, it's not your fault.

If anyone's to blame, it' me.

I find I'm old-fashioned enough to prefer talking to a live human being.

Lies. All lies.

I don't think they're ever leaving. I think they like it here.

It's air conditioned, the coffee's free, they get to point and laugh at the poor people trying to work.

Nothing more than crushing piles of work. The usual. What's up?

You'll have to make this the "For Dummies" version.

Heartbreaking. You expect setbacks, but we were so close!

I mean, it worked ⸺ it just had this damned baggage with it.

Well, I'm over it. Grieved, moved on.

So you think because she's a babe that she's capable of planning murder?

Ow! Be careful! You don't know your own strength!

If I were afraid of you, would I be sitting here?

Thank you so much, I really look forard to proving I'm not the monster I'm sure I seemed the other day.

Reduces me to a screaming hormonal pulp?

Don't you think you ought to relax a little?

You really don't like being challenged at all, do you?

I have to do something, and this is what I can do.

My point is, I love you, and I don't want to have to bring you flowers at St. Clare's.

Be careful. That shiner is just beginning to fade; you don't need another, and I do need you. Okay?

Once again, it's all the fault of the guy in the tights, jeez.

It's as tired as I am.

Okay, genius, what now?

What are you gonna do, kill me?

Come on, I'm doing the best I can.

Stay alive, [name]. I'm here.

What are you, Iron Man?

Look, I'm going to close my eyes and rest for a while, don't let anything exciting happen while I'm out, okay?

Are you sure you're supposed to be scolding me in your weakened condition?

I was just trying to distract you from telling me you were right about it.

I hadn't planned on scolding you about that until you were strong enough to fight back.

You say the absolutely perfect thing sometimes. You really do.

I never know whether you're as clumsy as you seem, or just playing a very, very crafty part. Well, you're not dead yet.

That the way you treat all your dates?

Cosmic irony: man with no sympathy has a heart that beats sympathetically.

Hey... I'm one of the good guys, right?

Look at me. I look like... the Hulk's baby sister. And it's going to get worse.

I'm not stupid. I played a risky game and I lost. I lost it big and I'm going to wind up a monster.

Tell me about the colors.

Tell me what you hear.

Anyone here ever ask you what the most beautiful word in the English language is, you can tell'em: home.

Hey you, having a good time?

With you? Always.

We could rent a movie, then curl up on the couch together and ignore it.

That sounds good. We could even forget the movie.

Even better, I love you a lot.

That is what keeps me going.

[69constellationsinatrenchcoat]

I'm so sorry if this is too personal.. You've talked about suicidal ideation before. When you're feeling that way, what keeps you alive?

Gosh, this is… such a good question. And no worries <3 it's not too personal for me.

Cw: mentions of suicide and death (mostly positively)

It'll vary by alter, I'll try to get the others to respond if they're comfortable.. for me (🔥), there's a few.

- Knowing it's my role as the primary protector to keep our body safe to the best of my ability.

- I've always doubted the existence of an afterlife, and truthfully I'm a bit jealous of anyone who can believe there is one. And in doing so, I have no idea what's next.. is it just... an end? do we just decompose as science suggests? does my system get broken up according to their beliefs? do we get reincarnated? does heaven/hell exist..? If so.. where am I going?

Those kinds of questions keep me up at night. I don't like to admit it but I'm afraid of missing out on life, of missing opportunities to grow, to learn, to find out about the others.. to solve the hazy mystery that is our past, and to understand what motivates and drives humans to act the ways they do... and I'm afraid of dying; of the sheer unknown of it. No one who has ever died has ever lived to tell the tale, and that scares and intrigues me in a way I can't begin to explain in any comprehensible way.

And.. the three greatest things that keep me alive...

- our out-of-system friends and family; both the knowledge that our closest friends wouldn't be aware if we died (they're online, I doubt anyone would think to reach out to inform them), and that it would hurt our loved ones far more than a lot of our system realise.

- The knowledge that there isn't just One Of Us. Rock bottom does often appear absolutely bleak, and we have struggled with suicidal ideation on and off since the age of seven, and consistently since twelve. However, in my eyes... it's not really suicide when you know you're a system. The way I see it (and I'm not speaking for everyone in our system, or systems in general), but if I were to kill the body, I'd be killing more than just my conciousness. I'd be taking out not only myself, but my children, the host, our trauma holders; my family, friends, colleagues, and strangers. As I see it, it's closer to mass murder from non-consenting parties than a suicide, even if it appears to be a suicide from the perspective of an outsider. The others have as many thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and reflections on the would as I do. If I wouldn't commit suicide knowing that I would kill several others in the real world, why would I do that to a single body but multiple people? Just my take.

And lastly,

The hope of becoming a psychologist. Every time my mind strays to ending it, I imagine myself sitting in a pale blue cosy room decorated with a small pride flag, mental health posters, cushions and bean bags, speaking with a client. Maybe that client is telling me why they chose to continue living. Perhaps, I'm speaking with them about their worries about their mood. Perhaps we're talking about the weather, or their disability, or how their family didn't accept them for who they are, or how cupcakes are simply muffins with hats.

It could be a conversation about how they're scared they're treating others poorly. Maybe, my client is a small six-year-old girl whose father brought her in because she was struggling with attention in her classes...

Perhaps, they're six, maybe they're sixteen, they could be sixty, or a hundred and six and telling me about their life as a final gift. Whoever they may be... I'm staying for those future lives. For those I can learn from, and potentially, teach.

... Amber being vulnerable on main? What's this, the apocalypse??

[puffpastrycrimewatch]

i would love to know more about tudor tbh, especially how his funky animals guide him 👀 i cant wait to draw cizel and tudor again 😁😁

I'll start with the funky little guys!

(some music because this is a lot)

Okay lol I don't think I ever gave the funky animals names, so the cats name is Yara (yar-ah) and the dog's name is Dobi (doe-bee)

(One thing to note is that Yara and Dobi are smarter than the average pet so they usually can understand exactly what someone is saying unless they don't know the language but they'll eventually learn)

So for Yara and Dobi they essentially do exactly what real life hearing/seeing service animals do, you can use these as an example, I'd recommend watching videos about guide dogs it's very informative plus it's fun to learn something new!

*Tudor usually snaps is fingers to get the animals attention and communicates with hand signs when giving Yara and Dobi commands

Yara acts as Tudors eyes and ears, clawing or nudging Tudor to let him know if someone is approaching and can let Tudor know if they are dangerous or friendly

(side note Dobi no longer has three legs, instead Yara will now have three legs for now on, I guess she's a caterpillar )

As for Dobi he acts as Tudors eyes and ears as well, specifically he guides Tudor, Tudor puts a leather harness on him when he needs help, an example of Dobi guiding Tudor would be letting him know if there is chair to sit in or just guide Tudor safely

Specifically this leather harness (courtesy of Amelia)

And here's how Tudor would hold it, I took a screenshotit from this video! You should give it a watch it should help with the harness thing!

Hehe I just had to draw Dobi in it

And here's little bit about their personalities!

Dobi is a classic goofy dog, he acts like a husky except when he barks it's more like a weird monster sound, Dobi gets distracted sometimes but Yara usually gets his attention back on track

(he has a weird mouth)

Yara has big ol' eyes, you can almost never tell what she's feeling, she's untrusting of strangers but there are rare cases where she can tell someone is not a threat on the spot, she's protective of tudor and loves cuddles, she almost never leaves Tudors side

And now here's a speedrun of Tudors backstory!

So Tudor is from the plane Gahenna(basically hell), life is tough there, the strong only survive, the people that live there are known as demons

Despite his disabilities he built his very own tavern with his friends! Life was good, the other demons seemed happy, until one day out of the blue his hometown was attacked and burnt to the ground leaving him feeling a bit hopeless, his friends had disappeared as well nowhere to be found, his tavern was damaged but nothing a few repairs could fix, oh and I forgot to mention since Gehenna is a dangerous place Tudor and his friends designed it in a way where it can move, it's a tavern on wheels pulled by a chimera, the tavern (also has an emergency teleport, which teleports the tavern to a random area, it's not a guarantee safety measure hence why it's only for emergencys, it takes a lot of magical power for it teleport once) unfortunately the chimera died during the pillage so it took Tudor about 4 weeks to find another one but after that debocle, Tudor was inspired by the Imps who had escaped Gehenna a century ago and was now determined to escape Gehenna as well.

(*the towns demons couldn't get to the tavern due to them being at a festival that was being held out of town)

So Tudor ends up wandering by himself, he's not completely helpless by himself though, he can take care of himself pretty well using a broom stick and ASL (ASL is pretty common in Gahenna it's usually used for safety reasons) but anyways he travels for about 8 years, over those years he first finds Yara (the cat) in her demonic form injured and fighting for her life, Tudor decides to help not knowing who he was helping, soon when they are both safe Tudor tends to Yaras wounds and she calms down and returns to her relaxed form and he lets her rest in his tavern however Yara escaped the next day but flash forward Tudors in trouble and Yara comes in and saves him, turns out shes been following his tavern this whole time and she lets herself in and makes herself at home, next is Dobi! Ummm...Dobi found Tudor this time, he was a little puppy when dobi found Tudor he was all alone in the open barking at Tudors chimera playfully Tudor decided to take in Dobi seeing as Tudor needed all the help he could get to escape (Tudor may not be able to see but anything small is cute to him lol) , Yara acted as a replacement mom for Dobi, showing him discipline and teaching him how to hunt and so on. Tudor had to make deals with other demons, sometimes to his disadvantage.

One day something strange happened in Gahenna, a gate to the mortal plane had opened, he could feel it for some reason but he didn't know where it was, so he took a chance and pulled emergency teleport lever and got lucky enough to be teleported to the mortal realm, Tudor was shocked he didn't know what to do

I hope that's enough info! (⁠・⁠∀⁠・⁠)👍

If not feel free ask me for some more info! ( ⁠´⁠◡⁠‿⁠ゝ⁠◡⁠`⁠)/

My phone is at 3% so excuse the typos I'm rushing now ヘ⁠（⁠。⁠□⁠°⁠）⁠ヘ

[radioactive-earthshine]

Okay now that I’ve had a minute to think about it, my biggest want would be: a new Birds of Prey book for the modern age. Babs is disconnected from the Batfamily and is a leader of her own team. Dinah co-leads the book, with emphasis on her martial arts skills, common sense, and emotional intelligence. There are no other mains, but rather each arc Babs calls up different (usually female) heroes that suit the situation that she and Dinah don’t usually work with (Zatanna, Jesse Quick, Jessica Cruz, Jo Mullein, Natasha Irons all come to mind immediately) - there are so many underutilized female heroes, it’s a perfect concept.

Babs is not only Oracle and is still disabled, but the writer has done some intense thinking about how Oracle’s power and influence isn’t over tech, but over information. This Oracle is at the height of her powers under technofeudalism and occasionally struggles to make the “right” choices because of it. (It’s already pre-crisis canon that Oracle has swayed elections!!) This Oracle isn’t a hacker, but a single woman who has access to so much data, so many algorithms, that she is like a mystic to ordinary people (and Dinah, who’s our pov character for the detailed stuff; she’s a grounding influence to Babs). The writer has not only read but understood books like Capital Is Dead: Is This Something Worse and is excited to play with what could happen by throwing Babs into the dystopian horror of the attention economy.

Because of these considerations, the plots are primarily offensive rather than reactive - think Leverage. We can have supervillains, but only if Babs is hitting them first (and they’re tech/finance/fossil fuel bros). Bat and arrow fam members (including love interests) can briefly show up, but more on the social side than for work; if Dick does up it’s brief and plot-unimportant; the narrative takes pains to emphasize that the relationship between Barbara and Dinah is the central one in both their lives (I’m not opposed to DinahBabs but I do mean it in a QPP way), and they like it that way.

Babs at her full powers as Oracle frightens me and I'd love to see her in a modern age waging literal techno war against ai-bros. This comic could be a narrative on today's deep and troubling implication for the use of ai, but this is just a small sample of what could be done.

Each issue or arc could also be about certain problems within the digital landscape of our economy and society. I feel like the one delving into the right to privacy would shake Babs quite a bit considering the blatant and outright violations of that perpetrated not just by her, the Batfam but many many members of the extended League. (honestly this is the one thing that bothers me so much about some of their practices and if I found out that ANY of my coworkers or friends were 'spying' on me for any reason, I would feel so violated and I am not sure how much I could trust any of them again or anyone who knew about it and didn't tell me).

This is just where MY mind goes and could be part of this series with of course everything else you suggested.

There is so much potential here.

Tell me what you would do if you had full creative control to write for DC with NO push back from editors and who would you piss off the most with your unhinged creative wiles?

Again, do not be a DICK to anyone if their self indulgent fantasies irritate you or if you otherwise disagree with them; learn how to scroll, move on or block. Thanks!

[limeade-l3sbian]

This is a heavy ask; Do you think it’s ever too late to make something of yourself with a career? I’m in my mid twenties and, due to varies circumstances, don’t have any education. And honestly now I think whatever potential I might once have had has shriveled up and died. My brain feel useless and heavy. It doesn’t work like I ever want it to.

How could I ever tackle school work again? It seems implausible. It’s like my ability to do anything has rotted. To bring an example, I once tried to teach myself something related to academics. Every person online who’s spoken about it said it room them a week. When asked how long it would take from others, they responded “probably at most a month, I can’t see it taking longer than that”. And that wasn’t them being condescending, it just seemed easy for everyone. But not me.

Whenever I tried to teach myself it was like it refused to stay in my brain. I tried for six months. I still hadn’t learned anything. I’m so sad from being stupid and useless. My brother has multiple educations, my dad was a brainiac, my mom a well respected teacher - and yet i’m like this.

I just want to be anything but this horrid failure i’ve managed to become.

-incapable anon

You absolutely can make something of yourself, anon. It's not even a question.

Failure exists when the effort has ceased. But just this recurring desire within you to do more than what you're doing now means you haven't failed yet. I am absolutely terrible at math, anon. Like, REALLY bad at it. Like you said, what could take most people twenty minutes, tops, could take me close to two hours to get down. And it's embarrassing and it's frustrating and I've cried wondering why I'm so bad with numbers.

But I still put in the time, even if I know I'll forget. Because each time that I pick it up again and forget, there's just ONE little bit from before that I remember.

Let's pretend for a moment that your struggle to retain things is a learning disability (pretend, because I don't want to just randomly diagnose you lol). There are colleges that will work with you. Community colleges, especially, are a great way to get a "late" start into pursuing whatever career you decide you want as well as saving money. And I'd say since you're in your mid-twenties, you have the advantage of a far more developed brain to figure out what you want to do.

You can't compare yourself to your family. You just can't. You're going to, because we as humans love to do that. But you have to shut that shit down the moment you feel it creeping onto your hope. A "late" start is still a start. I don't know your family situation, but you said your mom is a brilliant teacher? Work with her in ways that help YOU retain information. Or just look them up! You have a chance to really plan this out and make things be how you want them! That's an amazing thing.

You CAN do it, anon. I'm not even asking, I'm TELLING you. You absolutely can do it.

[fandomshatepeoplewdisabilities]

Anyone else getting annoyed at the tiktok trend that seems to be getting more popular of making fun of life hacks or products for being lazy when they're meant for people with disabilities? Also as someone who suffers from depression "lazy" hacks or products are great bc I can do things I wouldn't otherwise had the energy to do.

ok so I should probably make a video on this but like when I dropped out of college 12 years ago I was severely depressed. now I don't just have depression I have bipolar disorder. so like they can't just throw anti depressants at me and hope for the best. Like a month of a mania can be just as disastrous as like a year of depression. Keep in mind that 12 years ago we didn't have obamacare so when I left my college where I had access to a psychiatrist and meds my parents were left to buying my meds out of pocket. so I was taking my meds very rarely. anyways one of the things that got me out depression and working again was the site lifehacker. they had lots of productivity hacks and through them I learned how to streamline my job applications. I was also introduced to lots of accessibility hacks like cheap meals you can make quickly that are high in nutrition. or how to make SMART goals.

and even though I wouldn't find a steady job until 2016 (after I'd been on latuda for like almost a year thanks obama) those years spent depressed and at home depending on my parents income were very informative still because I learned about spoon theory...

sorry I digress but yes the whole "lazy" bit is ridiculous

mod ali

[starlit-hopes-and-dreams]

Happy STS! I'm curious about Shattered Dreams, since I still don't know too much about it and you say it's your first major piece of writing! How would you say it differs from Hidden Depths, and how is it similar? Is there anything you learned in the course of writing and posting Hidden Depths that's informing the other WIP as you now revise/edit/continue writing? Anything you're enjoying more, or enjoying less? Anything else interesting you can tell us?

Happy STS! Thank you for the ask, Claire!

Oooh, what a fun question! First off, I'm not sure if you've seen my WIP intro, but if not, there it is :)

Okay, this is long, so under the cut it goes lol

Differences and Similarities

So Hidden Depths is set in the same world of Shattered Dreams, approximately 5-ish years prior to the events in the novel. I use the same third person, character-centric style of writing, I've centered my story around two characters, which seems to be a sweet spot for me, and it's still essentially a love story at its core. They are both captivity stories that deal heavily with trauma and recovery from trauma.

Shattered Dreams differs in that I had the time and space for a lot more worldbuilding and complex plotting than I did in Hidden Depths. Now, did I do it well? Meh, going through on this editing pass, I'm noticing more info-dumping than I'd like, so I'm cleaning that up.

Hidden Depths I didn't have that kind of time for. Maybe if I'd started writing more than 3 days before the start of the event, but uh. I didn't. So I started in media res, which I actually ended up liking quite a bit, and I learned a new writing technique!

It also differs in that with Shattered Dreams, I was trying to write the kind of love story I wished I was capable of and where physical affection was important and sought after (I literally made physical touch a basic need for an entire species-they can't go too long without or they'll go crazy lol).

Whereas with Hidden Depths, I wrote the kind of love story more true to my recently discovered aroace-self. It's still an idealization, of course, with an over exaggeration of certain characteristics, but it's been really nice and somewhat cathartic to write.

Learning

Ahh, the learning. Well, the more you write, the better you get, right? So there was that. I could tell writing Hidden Depths that I'd improved beyond what I'd written in Shattered Dreams, which was a really cool thing for me. It made me feel really proud. (and kinda embarrassed when I reread Shattered Dreams bc I'd sent it out for beta 😅)

I definitely learned a lot more about whump writing, and you can bet that I'm using that in my edits to flesh out scenes that were rather vague (or create new ones all together!) bc I was either afraid of the response or just didn't have the depth of knowledge to really do it justice.

I learned that just because I can write explicit sexy time scenes doesn't mean I have to :D especially if they already made me uncomfy to start. Basically I toned them down, because I didn't hold anything back the first go around lol. Maybe they can be bonus scenes so all my hard work doesn't go to waste XD

Just by being here on tumblr, I've learned a lot more about queer and disabled representation, which is not something that I had a lot of exposure to before. I am definitely going to implementing some of that knowledge in Shattered Dreams if I can!

Interesting stuff

Ummm. This has gotten pretty long already lol. Let's see... Alaia and Serin, the two main protagonists, were never meant to be together; he was just a side character I made bc captivity with one character is boring as hell. Well, that went to shit, he ended up as a POV character, and now has an entire character arc I have to write lol. The way these things happen, huh lol.

[tripstitan]

Yee Gods Yes

Found this on Harvard Health while I was thinking up a reply to a post about which hypersensitivity a person has the most of. (Hint, for me, it's all. Tactile, light, sound, crowd-overstimulation... Every sense of mine is heightened except smell, which I do not have as a sense. I'm anosmic I think is the term.)

Holy hell that would have been useful when I was trying to "be normal" for most of my life, trying to act as if I were neurotypical and not disabled, trying to work within the bounds of society's expected rules. Way to go Harvard Health. This sorta stuff needs to be seen more often by more people, especially employers.

I don't even realize that I'm stimming when I have to "even out" the pressure on either sides of my cuticles. Like if my right thumb gets pressure along its left half, I have to tap/press the right half of the cuticle thingy in response. Sometimes I just have to hit both sides, then eventually, all my fingers need evening out on both sides of my nail(which, once I notice, can become a near endless spiral, because I use my other finger edges to even out the pressure on my other finger edges...)

Don't even get me started on how wearing denim feels like my flesh is on fire. (Tactile hypersensitivity + fibromialgia = NO JEANS PLEASE.)

I used to be more heavily synesthetic, or have synesthesia to a higher degree. (Maybe I still do, but I've avoided the main triggers for a long, long time.) To me, voices and sounds have/had flavor. Too many voices/too much sound ends up just tasting like vomit, just nasty worst flavors combined coming to the fore. Yuck. Crowds suck. School assemblies SUUUUUUUCKED. I know I was a weird creepy kid, and the few things I remember from my past (yay trauma blanking out memories for me,) I'm pretty regretful of. I was sheltered, and I was an idiot... but I... anyway, let's just say I'm glad I'm in a position in life where if I don't want to, I'll never have to enter a crowded/loud space ever again.

As far as sound, and/or light, it depends on the day, because I do get photosensitive migraines, but I'm hyperaural/hyperaudiosensitive all the time. Depending on how I focus my ears, I can hear things, usually further away things, more clearly. It feels like I'm turning an internal radar dish in a crowded room, picking up other people's conversations, unable to hear the person right next to me trying to speak over the noise. ... I can also hear the thrum of electricity in power lines, and, with enough familiarity, can tell you whether or not someone has more appliances running than normal at the end of a segment of power lines. (I could always tell if dad was watching TV before I made it the 200 yards home down our long-arse dirt driveway basically out in the woods, based on the static hum in the power lines. It was just a tiny bit more audible, or a slightly different pitch. I think I probably could have also learned to guess if he'd opened the fridge and it had to kick in to cool things, or was using the microwave, but the easiest one to prove was the TV being on, or not, as based on the sound when I arrived home from school.)

Sarcasm suuuuuucks to try to detect. I trained myself to learn inflections and so on, and some people deliver without inflection! Or use it online, where there is no inflection! I... yeah I went undiagnosed most of my life, my therapist and I are proud of how far I'd come without help, without even knowing what I was facing. I grew up pretty poor, raised by a single parent, in the 80s and early 90s into late nineties and early 2000s, before there really was a ubiquity of internet access, before anyone could even reasonably be expected to have access to information, especially when living in such a rural area, or areas, as we did.

Anyway, sort of like Ren's admission in Hi Ren, as I got older, I learned to be less rigid about attempting to fit into society, and I honestly lucked out by landing on my feet in the way that I did. It was a pretty long, multi-year fall, a tumble if you will, to the outskirts and edges of society. Not quite as graceful or eloquent as Ren's "an eternal dance, a pendulum swinging between the light and the dark, and that the harder the light shone, the deeper the darkness that followed it" or such. I'm paraphrasing. (Seriously, if you haven't watched it, Hi Ren puts a lot of feelings to words that peeps in our situations feel and deal with. Impostor syndrome, depression, intrusive thoughts, struggling with disabilities and getting the help we need, and so on. I guess content warning for it, since it's pretty personal and deep. I dunno what TW to say, maybe uh... bpd? Ren acts out two different internal voices in the song.)

Gods, I'm letting all this stuff get way too personal. It's just supposed to be my webnovel ad blog thingy. Then again, AAoMM is a huge part of me, it's a chunk of almost everything that I am, in a lot of ways. It's already pretty darn personal, carrying so much of me with it.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

TW : difficult relationship with food?, mentionned eating disorder, child neglect, child abuse, ableism

Can you help me understand my relationship with food better? I don't think I have and eating disorder, but I've become concerned when piecing together my childhood trauma and current relationship with food. I don't really know what to think of it.

I've been forced to stay hungry for long periods as a kid because my parents very rarely allowed snacks between meals, and the meal times were very strict. When they offered snacks, it was often nuts, "organic" cookies with poppy seets and vague lemon flavor - not great when it's your only option. They'd even withhold food when we were hiking for a long time because we "hadn't found a good spot yet"...

My dad also has some very unhealthy ideas about food, I suspect that he might fit the criteria for anorexia. He rose me with these ideas, obviously. He believes that forcing yourself endure pain is honorable, in general - he already got himself sick at some point from working out constantly and eating very little. That being said he also pressures me and my sibling to eat less just because he wants to spend less money.

As a child I would sneak anything edible in my room. I hid chunks of salt in tissues, raisins in some box I had in my room... My dad even found the bowl of noodles i hid in my nightstand as a teen (glad I didn't eat that honestly). I even had a bottle that ended up spoiling which resulted in a lot of guilt.

I only had free access to food at one of my grandma's, when I stayed at her place I could eat anything anytime and it felt good. She had snack / candy drawers and I'd pick what I wanted, but I know I also probably ate too much of it at once. It felt like I was rushing to eat because I finally could. This was when I was a teen, I wasn't a toddler or a child anymore.

I also always ate lunch at school from primary to end of highschool and since I'm autistic it was traumatizing. I would be hungry most of the time because my body pretty much refuses any food that doesn't feel right.

My parents also pressured me into eating foods that felt horrible (I was not "scared", I knew what it tasted like and I just couldn't). So I'd end up not always eating enough at family meals, too, when I had the chance. My parents never accomodated my disability and this includes food sensitivity. I'm 20 now, and I eat what I want around the house and I've learned to cook. I pack my own meal when I commute to uni, and I finally eat foods that feel safe. Still a lot of depressing ingredients but I make it work.

However I have a hard time handling hunger, I am always drawn to fat and especially sugary foods. I got my first cavities ever in the past 2-3 years, basically when I started this new way of life.

I also have quite a bit of gut problems, I will see a doctor soon I think but basically I rely on butter, pasta, bread and rice to fill me up. I can't pack meat/eggs because it would spoil, and I try eating vegetables often but it doesn't always help (and the fresh veggies are like... carrots, carrots again, carrots... carrots again with some carrots on the side - these are not a safe food so.. yeah). I do eat more nuts lately because I need to chew on something when studying, and it does help with the hunger.

I feel like I don't understand how to feed myself healthily (without being restrictive like my parents were bc it's all they taught me).

I have ways to deal with the material signs of this relationship with food, so I'm more interested in the core problem. Could you help me with this? Also if you have resources I'd be happy to see them. Thanks a lot :)

Hi anon,

I would ultimately recommend asking an ED-informed therapist or nutritionist about this. I know that maintaining a healthy diet after experiences like those is not an easy thing to do, and I don't want to give potentially counterintuitive advice.

I think a therapist could help in getting to the core problem of your complicated relationship with food, especially as a professional who will know what they're doing much better than an inexperienced volunteer. A nutritionist or dietician may help in the actual application of a healthier plate.

I hope I could help at least a little bit. Best of luck with everything and please know that you're welcome here if you need anything.

-Bun

[wolfiejack]

Ok as a "USAmerican" (never seen it written like that btw, kinda cool tho) here's my thoughts (even tho no one asked, I'm bored, yall can ignore this if u want)

The brands thing makes total sense, I get a bit of that with regional brands and such (like if I asked my boyfriend what Harris Teeter was he would have no idea because it's an east coast grocery store and he's lived in the Midwest his whole life)

Would love an example of the Weird American Things, I know there's a lot, I think we probably have some of the weirdest but I think all countries have some weird things only they do.

An inch is roughly 2.54 cm I believe. And a foot is 12 inches. Why? No idea... also I'm 5ft9 and that means I'm 69 inches tall which is way more fun than being ~174cm

A pound is ~2.2kg and no idea why it's shortened to lbs (probably something latin?)

Military time is just a 24 hour time format, so instead of 12 hours each of am and pm its just 24 hours. The first 2 digits are the hour. The second 2 are the minutes. So 0000 is midnight, 0730 is 7:30am, anything past 1300 just subtract 1200 and add pm so 1600 becomes 0400 so 4pm

Yup. Generally the US has some of the most fucked up legal processes which means those are the ones that end up needing explanation posts. Also people on the internet assume everyone is in the US especially Americans. We really do tend to forget that things work differently in other parts of the world.

I personally avoid political stuff mostly cuz it stresses me out, but I do certainly reblog many posts about events in the news so more people will hear about it (and tbh the guilt tripping sometimes works) and maybe something can be done cuz I am broke and disabled have very little I can do personally to make change happen right now.

Makes sense that people would pick up slang without realizing the context of it in another country. I don't think it's really an issue if ur not trying to be disrespectful but I'm white and not as educated on the history of AAVE as I'd like to be so my philosophy is to just do my best and be kind and hope that if I accidentally do something offensive people can be kind and respectful in letting me know so I can learn.

I actually thought Chick-fil-A was more widespread... maybe only in a few other countries. Anyway it's a fast food place that has a lot of chicken based food (chicken sandwiches, nuggets, etc.) They have historically been very homophobic. They no longer donate directly to anti-lgbt groups. Now the CEO (at least I think it's the ceo) donates to those places personally to make the company not look as bad. They did recently start hiring a diversity team tho so like they are getting better even if the ceo is a homophobe. Also I knew a trans girl (my roomate a couple years ago) who had dietary restrictions and Chick-fil-A was the only place she could eat on campus. I generally avoid eating there but there are reasons to do so and I think people treat it as more black and white than it is.

History is a BIG subject. No one can ever know all of it. I don't know that much US LGBT history let alone other countries. This is a problem with the education system here. I have no idea if other countries are better at teaching more relevant history than us (all history is important, but the US education system focuses so much on big world conflicts and far past stuff and less on the stuff that's relevant to current day politics).

I would be very interested to learn about words that are harmless in one place and offensive when directly translated. People in the US tend to be a bit easily offended about some words (the whole "politically correct" thing) but other words do have a historical background here that makes the offensive but the same word history did not happen in another country. I wish people could stop assuming malicious intent all the time and instead just assume ignorance and be kind about it and offer education rather than criticism. Then the person being informed on the offensiveness of a word would probably feel more comfortable to ask for other less offensive translations or terms they can use.

I feel like I have a better grasp on US Geography than many people, I had a little wooden puzzle map of the US as a kid and I got to a point I could to it super fast. Most people only know the state they live in, the nearby states, and some big main ones like California and Texas. We may have a slightly better grasp on locations of the smaller/ less talked about states but most people in the US could not draw any decent map. Americans just like to act like know-it-alls to foreigners tbh and I hate it.

I mostly use US spellings but sometimes (like the word grey/ gray) I prefer the British spelling. But also i agree that it really doesn't matter. Words are meant to communicate ideas, rules can help but obsessing over the rules is pointless because language changes and adapts and as long as the idea gets across then what does it matter.

Long car rides are very normal for me. I pass the time playing on my phone or listening to an audiobook if I'm driving. Honestly I fine it pretty relaxing but it can make my back and muscles sore sometimes. My definition of a long drive is probably different than yours tho. A long drive is at LEAST 45 min and potentially several hours. 15-30min is a very short drive to me. Very normal. I leave for work 30min before my shift in case of traffic. Many people commute an hour or more each way especially for office jobs. Also pur cars are bigger? I mean I know semis are big cuz of transporting products across the country and such but our normal cars are bigger?

Fire drills. Tornado drills. Earthquake drills. Active shooter drills. We have a lot of drills. It's good to know what to do in an emergency but very sad that an active shooter is a common enough emergency to warrant so much preparation.

Many US based studies should be broadly applicable to other countries depending on the subject. But yeah anything cultural won't be very useful.

While I do feel bad about messing up words from another language, I dont do it to be offensive (or on purpose at all) its just ignorance. Also i still hold with what I said earlier that language is about communication so my goal is less to follow the rules and more to get an idea across the best I can.

I frequently pretended to say the pledge. Made me very uncomfortable. I also will stand for things like the national anthem at sports events but I don't take my hat off or put my hand over my heart. Basically I try to avoid having to explain myself to other people around me while protesting subtly.

No idea where those words came from either. Here's a basic explanation of our system: pre-k/ kindergarten is ages 4-6, then grades 1-12 starting 1st grade at age 6, graduating at age 18. These grades are generally sectioned into elementary/ middle/ high school because there usually multiple school buildings, with each one to teach kids in certain grades. High school is grades 9-12. These grades are also called freshman, sophomore, junior, senior. I don't know why. Then if you go to college it's generally 4 years to get a bachelor's degree so they use the same 4 names. So you can be a sophomore in high school (grade 10, second year of high school) or a sophomore in college (second year of college).

The gas thing is probably a result of our fucked up economy and also a cultural trust issues thing. Gotta pay first so they know you have enough money for the gas you want to get. It is kinda weird but it's basically trust thing. Most things like events you have to pay first. You pay for groceries before you take them home. You pay for food before you receive it. The only exception I can really think of is sit down restaurants where you generally pay at the end. Basically in the US they don't trust you to have enough money you have to prove you have they money before you can get the thing so that the company does not lose money especially on things that can't be returned or resold like experiences or gas.

The US does have a lot of love for comfort foods, tho I bet most countries have their own weird ones I've not heard of too but you just don't see as much posts about those because the internet is so American centralized (likely due in part to the size of our population plus our being a large player in global politics, plus our culture of exaggerating self importance, which is a bit of a self fulfilling proficy)

I think the reason there's so much push to "learn your history" is because of that quote about learning your history or being doomed to repeat it. Also because unlike most countries the US is particularly terrible about repeating bad parts of history and not learning from mistakes.

Anyway if you’re from the US and you ever wanted to know what tumblr feels like from a non-USAmerican perspective (please note that the rest of the world is not a monolith either and none of these apply without exception):

Everybody’s talking about brands and stores you’ve never seen in real life. You generally assume they exist, but they might as well be one giant prank the rest of the internet is in on.

You find a post that just sounds wrong. It makes no sense. It’s like OP lives in a weird alternate reality. 9/10 times, it’s just some USAmerican Thing.

You’re still not entirely sure how much an inch is. Or a foot. Or even how many of the former there are in the latter. You maybe know your height in feet and inches.

You have no idea how much a pound is. You’d also like to know how the fuck pound shortens to lbs.

What the fuck is “military time”

Somebody talks about some legal process or something similar. They don’t mention which country’s legal system this pertains to. You know anyway.

People talk about politics. None of it pertains to you. Many posts contain guilt tripping. “How can you not care about this?? Why won’t you reblog this?? People need to know this about x candidate for y position!” You’re busy trying to stay on top of the political landscape in your own country.

You pick up some random slang from the internet. Monkey see monkey do. You’re called racist. You didn’t know it was AAVE. You learnt it from black letters on white background, not from the mouths of people whose faces you could see. How would you have known? You try to unlearn it.

People tell you that you must publicly denounce Chick-fil-A or you’re homophobic. You don’t even know what a Chick-fil-A is.

People say you don’t know LGBTQ+ history. What they mean is you don’t know USAmerican LGBTQ+ history. Nobody cares about your country’s history.

You’re “called out” on using an “offensive” term. It’s (a direct translation of) a completely harmless word where you live.

People expect you to have an idea of how far apart 2 USAmerican states are. You barely know geography past your country’s immediate neighbors.

You randomly switch between British and American spellings. Nothing’s real and there are no rules.

People talk about multiple hour car rides and you get twitchy just thinking about it. You suddenly understand why USAmerican cars are so big.

Somebody talks about school shooting drills. You only ever had fire alarm drills.

You see a cool statistic. The study’s only about the US. It’s unfortunately of no use to you.

People misuse/misspell words and names from your native language. It’s tiring.

(You feel sorry for the French. Nobody should be allowed to mangle the word déjà vu like that.)

You’re still not over the fact that USAmerican school children are supposed to say that pledge thing every morning. You’re never getting over that.

You still don’t know why the men are fresh or what the fuck a sophomore is.

Who the fuck pays up first and then fills up gas??? That’s made up, right??

Everybody has a weird obsession with some comfort food you’d never even heard of before you signed up here.

Fellow non-USAmericans, please add anything else you can think of.

[cervidaedalus]

Back home. Went from the awful texting experience with the Lifeline, to having to contact my friend's mom, explaining why I was afraid of going to the ER, calling the Lifeline to talk to a real person, and then staying over her place and leaving my laptop at home. I feel a bit better, but this is also the first time it's ever been serious enough that I felt I needed to call the lifeline.

And I love (not) seeing people like, um, if he stays here that's making mods uncomfortable. Okay. You're uncomfortable, I almost had to be admitted to the hospital. I -think- there's a bit of a polarity here. The discomfort is about me: -trying to get people to take a case of abuse and stalking by another member of the mod team seriously instead of just constantly dismissing it as not an FC issue -Mentioning my PTSD """as an excuse""" (hi! hello! never say that to a mentally ill or disabled person, there is a difference between explanations and excuses, and I was clearly explaining) -getting upset that it devolved into people "coming out" about things like me "using Ventspace as a personal diary" (that's a horrendously gross take) or being aggressively opinionated which last happened in January and I'd been silently working on it ever since. -??? mentioning we figured out three folks who submitted anonymous feedback, despite the fact that one wasn't me, and I actually tried to shut it down, one was someone who'd just left sending feedback identical to my DMs with her, one was someone who explicitly directed us to their post and I didn't say who it was until that became relevant to address the issue. If there was anything else, I don't know it, but for the love of orb LEARN EMPATHY. If someone is already having a bad time you don't fucking pile on them with "oh by the way we have problems with you actually". Save it. For. A better. Time. That's exactly what made it "dogpiling". CLEARLY this person is already hurting and upset, so why in the FUCK would you choose to make them MORE upset. "It wasn't dogpiling we just have concerns". Sick dude, maybe save it? Because that's EXACTLY what made it dogpiling. Like uh duh it's going to make them more upset and make the whole process harder. All you're doing is antagonizing the person. Big "read the room" vibes. I've blocked two of em. One I feel would be able to come around if talked to. I'd like to know who else voted, some it's more of a "hey realize the nuances here and we can talk" and others it's definitely a "fuck off forever". I was trying to get in contact with people yesterday before all this went down to listen individually, but a couple people I couldn't and wasn't sure if I should try sending a friend request. Also love the line about "you have to make the hard decisions"... To whomever it may concern, I regret to inform you that THAT SHIP HAS FUCKIN' SAILED. Y'all gave me the worst pushback when I tried to come out about this asshole's obsessive smear campaign. You openly LET someone else aggressively antagonize me and curse me out because "let him speak" and then jumped on me for "abusing power" whenever I did anything the other Navs suggested/agreed to, basically "hey Sparrow I know you're hurting but by the way everything you do is malicious and WRONG." Okay, thanks. Also hey hello, I wasn't the one who brought the issue down to the third mod channel. <3 It was actually that jackass who you all openly let harass me. <3 Who also refused my requests to take it to DMs which I was doin (along with spoilers) to not drag more people into an obviously stressful situation. <3 But glad to know that he's allowed in the Discord because I guess his deliberately antagonistic, harassing behaviour was okay but my directly responding to distress by speaking out (and not even cursing anyone but my sole abuser out) was too annoying. An FC that harbors abusers and casts out abuse victims. I will likely see about starting up my own FC since I was a veteran and I hate to toot my own horn, but pillar of the largest FC on Coe until this happened- but I want to think it through and recover a bit more from this. Anyway yeah, I know why abuse and r*pe victims struggle to come out, because the moment people are faced with conflict and might have to critically examine and admit the fact that one of their friends fucked up hardcore, their brains turn into aquarium gravel.

[finsterhund]

I'm planning to finally write the long awaited update to my first medium article on Sly, so I went back and read my past articles and holy shit did I dump trauma into them. God. The one where I talk about needing to replace Ope because he won't survive much longer if I keep chewing on him pretty much documented how my life fell apart when Cazza left remission for the last time. Seeing photos of her on it made me fucking break. I tried reading the one about stuffed dogs that resemble Spot and I had her REVIEW EACH ONE. She was like my little coauthor. God.

No wonder it's gotten so much harder to write those. I'm missing my best friend who gave irreplaceable input.

I want to write the Sly II of Sly II though because I want to share the collective information I've found about Sly since then. It's criminal that unless you get your hands on a tag of Charlene's forever toys to read it yourself their stories are all lost to time.

If I had the energy I'd make my own fansite. Provide more lore info than egnome provides for them. But sadly I'm too exhausted. Just Sly for me. Also you literally have to buy one complete with tags to see the whole tag story and obviously I'm going to limit the amount of 300 dollar stuffed animals I buy thank you very much. My first, Sly II I got for way less than he's worth and my upcoming Christmas present I'm drastically reducing my calorie intake to afford. (Don't worry, they are raising my disability income for the new year and I'm not destitute yet lol)

I just. Man. I keep thinking what it must have been like when Charleen was around and actively making these guys. Meeting up at toy expos and such. All in the US, yeah, but still. Would have loved to meet her. Asked all about Sly. Back when her toys were still in production getting promotional materials would have been easier too. Apparently she had a little fan magazine she shipped out every so often where people could send in letters? That's the sort of stuff you don't get with mass produced toys but is also too much work for modern independent creators who are treading water in today's economy. The egnome mailing list doesn't even work anymore. I wonder when it stopped running.

I'm still not giving up on trying to recreate my own backup Sly, but I'm just so tired all the time. I wish I had a workshop and wasn't just doing everything in life straight outta my bedroom. If you saw my bedside table situation and the mess it is you'd all hurl. The discount section of a fabricland was shit out all over every even remotely flat available surface.

As futile as it seems and as tired as I am, I am also pleased to report that some level of progress is being made though. I'm designing ideas to make my own take on the character distinct enough from the original. I'm also on that subject thinking about finally learning how to quilt. For real this time. Using my roommate's sewing machine is a pain in the ass so most of what I'm doing is by hand so not as nice looking but I have more control and am less likely to murder my hand.

I keep wishing we could go to the other thrift store so I can go on a quest for a ton of vintage buttons. I'm looking for upholstery buttons specifically. God that's another thing. I love buttons. You know that? I should make a quilt that also serves as a button collection. And I still want to one day make a quilt from many of Cazza's old things but currently I can't bear to alter them in any way so I've put them in a tote in my closet so I don't stare at them and cry.

Good news in that I cleaned my room a bit and that Scott is almost finished with his ear medicine. He's become such a good boy about letting me out the drops in his ears. Really adaptable he is.

I keep thinking about how I wish I could go back to drawing tons of Heart of Darkness fan art again. But I remind myself that my very own Whisky died in my arms and yeah. It's no wonder I don't have the heart to do what I'm passionate about anymore.

Maybe I make a Sly entirely out of the dollar store paw print blankets of which Cazza died with. I'd get brand new ones, enough to make the Sly, don't know how many that would take but they're a nice texture. I have old fleece I got at a discount that reminds me of the Cazza collar maybe I could make a Cazza Sly and give him a Cazza collar.

Another thing is there's just been no info on the crying dog. None at all. I didn't stop caring about him. Just that nothing new has happened. Very sad.

Hopefully playing pikmin 3 and then 4 will be a nice reprieve. I can hope.

[llatimeria]

So I don't like know anything about your situation of course or what you've looked in to and I know this is a pain in the ass but if you can find someone that knows how to navigate student disability services I'm pretty sure it's possible to get accommodations for everything you were talking about. And like once again total pain to figure that out but I hear people talking about the strange little accommodations they were able to get that I wouldn't think were even possible and it's like maybe it's not fucked for all time

honestly yeah i fully believe you're right lmao. i've had A Bit Of A Time getting in contact with the accessibility people at my school but i've done it before and i can do it again. my problem has always been either not believing those accomodations were possible or "reasonable", especially since "read this literature and then discuss it with your classmates" is like 75% of what the professors at my school have us do - and not for no reason; for many people that is actually a really effective way to actually learn information, rather than just being able to regurgitate it for a test. but honestly i don't care anymore. it's not working for me, and that's what matters, y'know?

and also, whenever I go to the accessibility folks, they always ask me what accomodations I need. which on paper is great, I'd much prefer this being a dialogue than just being given whatever they think I might need but in practice it's super frustrating, because it's hard to clock the extent of what you're allowed to ask for. in my most hedonistic fantasies i would just be excused from a solid Most homework (except the things I arbitrarily want to do) and be judged solely based on how I perform on tests and in-class assignments, but I know that's probably a little much for more traditional professors and I do NOT want to be targeted as "the guy using their disability as an excuse 🙄", even if I was 100% certain it was untrue, didn't affect my internal sense of self-worth at all, and the professor was definitely just being a dick, it would still be frustrating and inconvenient. but most of the accomodations I had in K-12 don't really apply to me anymore (has anyone on earth ever had a "no calculators allowed" math test past the age of 19) so I just have no idea what to say when the counselors ask me what I want except "IT BAD. FIX? PLEASE?", which I can't imagine is very condusive for brainstorming for them either fjfhdbfnb

[maslows-pyramid-scheme]

You keep saying 'what if' and the answer of course is that it'd be cool and good if it came to be. Just getting enough economic support to live a reasonably comfortable life is good enough for me. It'd be so nice. Basically, your world view has nothing at all to offer except a pinky promise of a better future.

I've been trying to upset you for fun and that's pretty much it. I've pretty much done everything I can; there's only so much you can do without getting to know someone enough to know what would actually hurt them (I don't have the time or patience.)

Ty for humoring me though, I'll give you some information that may be relevant to you. So, idk your position on Bees or if honey is vegan, but if you aren't just a mammal supremacist do care about insects like bees, you probably shouldn't consume almonds or any almond products. Almond trees do not self-pollinate and rely on pollinators like bees, and they only bloom for a bit more than a week. The majority (80%) of the worlds' almonds are produced in huge monoculture orchards in California. Since the bloom is short and the orchards are monoculture, it's impossible to keep bees year round there, and therefore these orchards have contracts with other farmers throughout the country to truck in bees for the bloom and then send them back. The entire bee colony is shoved in truck and transported for potentially days twice in a short period of time. There is naturally a high rate of mortality for the bees. Here's an article about it https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2020/jan/07/honeybees-deaths-almonds-hives-aoe

Re activism -

Activism without empathy and understanding is pointless. How many times have governments vowed to address exploitation - women's exploitation, anti-Black exploitation, disability exploitation, animal exploitation - only for government action to miss the mark and completely fail?

I don't mind if you see my blog as pointless, I'm honestly inclined to agree with you. But I like coming here to understand what an issue is, what people want to do about it, and how to make compelling cases for activism - you know, do things that can and do have real life implications.

(I personally provide pro bono legal advice to women who need it ((I'd like to open up my own legal centre one day))

Re veganism -

I think you misunderstand veganism as a diet; it isn't, it's the philosophical belief that non-human animal lives have the same inherent value as human lives (which naturally leads to a reduction - not necessarily an elimination - of animal product). That being said, I don't really like almonds, so it's not an issue for me (but I'm happy to learn about it, so thanks for the ref, I will spread the word and do my best to ruin every single almond-inclusive food!).