#i'd like to be a better friend and better partner... better everything tbh but i feel i've lost touch

[oasatelematics]

there is this overarching sadness in everything yet i keep going and though it feels like the bare minimum isn't enough i don't have it in me to do more currently

[lilacstro]

Astro Observations pt 2

1.If you have sun conjunct ascendant//sun in 10th house, people might really see who you really are or your real personality maybe visible to people you choose to interact with.

2. People who's sun and mercury match, they more than most of the time, say what they really mean

3. People who have Sag sun/stellium usually have a strong liking for some kind of mainstream media, like kpop? football? bollywood?

4. The sign of your fifth house can influence how you like spending your leisure time. Example:

Capricorn 5th house might like cleaning as a form of relaxing or spending their free time

Leo 5th house might want entertainment or hanging out with a group of friends, social circles

Gemini 5th house might like scrolling the internet or talking about their favourite shows and dramas

Pisces 5th house might like day dreaming or doodling or creative working

Libra 5th house might put make up on just because, or doing a whole self care routine

Taurus 5th house might just lay in bed and sleep? lol maybe cook something or play some instrument if they please.

5. Jupiter is said to expand. People who may have sun conjunct Jupiter may have huge sense of self or awareness of identity, which is really good in a world where people try to tell you who you are. However, this needs to be checked so it does not turn into a huge ego

6. Sagittarius women could really like dancing

7. 8th house stellium could deal with sleep paralysis or insomnia or some kind of mental health related problem at some point in their life for sure

8. 12th house stelliums could really like day dreaming a lot

9. Most Libra people I have met are usually already well liked regardless of anything. and the ones that aren't, really care about being liked by people.

10. Speaking of this, most libra placements, esp suns, may really be gossiped about or do gossips.

11. Sagittarius placements (sun and rising esp) always have something going on with their teeth. Its either crooked, it may have had an injury and even if its perfect, they might be a little insecure about it at least for a brief period in their life

12. Neptune in 7th house could mean the native has kind of like imaginary ideals about their partner. It could also be that they "like the idea of someone more than the person" or straight up like imaginary characters as ideals

13. Sag mercury women usually are very vocal. May advocate for things like unequal rights, feminism, maybe the first one to speak. tbh sag mercuries overall are the types to take part in global challenges and really take time out to think about it seriously.

14. Sun in 8th house is a mysterious placement. Sun in 8th house won't reveal themselves to you. To be fairly honest, growing up their personality goes through a lot of transformation before they finally get to even know themselves and who they are. They could also be very introspective if not self aware

15. while Moon in 8th house natives are usually said that they won't reveal their true emotions, I'd say that's subjective since they are actually "aware" of their feelings on a deep level. This depends on the sign and degree of the moon imo. However, they may instead absolutely illusion you into thinking "you know everything about them" lol. Also, they could eventually get very emotionally intelligent in their lives with time. They may also never fully reveal their past to someone.

16. Moon in 8th house can have two moods. I know this will happen. See this happened. OR I know EXACTLY why this did not happen lol. Very intuitive.

17. Moon in Gemini degrees can indicate being able to verbalize and intellectualize emotions better than most people. While Moon in Aquarius or Capricorn may suggest otherwise.

18. Idk how but most Aquarius people I have seen have either of these two things. Being extremely different than most people (in a good or bad way) in some way or the other, a different thinking than most. OR, being really really good with Internet related stuff, like maybe freelance? Digital Media? Social Media?

19. Venus/Sun/Moon in virgos will get you the small thing you mentioned in a random seemingly unimportant conversation for your birthday gift.

20. A placement that makes me think of "attractive personality" is Venus in harmonious aspects with mercury.

21. Mars in 5th house/1st house are said to be automatically physically active or athletic. While this maybe true, mars or any other planet at a weak degree or Mars in Earth signs may not manifest that way, even though it may seem otherwise.

22. I think mercury in 11th house is an OG placement for over thinkers or the people who are thinking how would it feel to get married while riding the car/train and looking outside, or being constantly in their head the second they woke up.

23. " I am so stupid in love"- Pisces, Cancer placements.

24. Neptune in 3rd/11th house placements could have a social media or chronically online addiction.

25. Sun in 1st house in SR can indicate getting a sense of identity and purpose and moreover finding yourself again

26. Uranus in 12th house in SR can indicate a change/transformation in old belief systems and thoughts

support me on ko-fi :)

Well, I am thinking of making proper dedicated posts now instead of random notes like that. What suggestions do you have? I would loveee to know.

[minispidey]

Hey - you said repeaters welcome so here I am 💅

If you’ve watched Scenes from a Marriage, I need ya thots /HC for Levy:

BEST FRIEND.

Jonathan Levy x f!reader.

Warnings: mentions toxic relationship, mentions cheating, does this count as cheating too?, angst, smut, fluff, swearing.

Requested by: @boredzillenial

Author's Note: bestie the gif u send is so MWAH cheeky beefy oscar isaac ass 🤭 if u dont mind, i added in a small story line because u swear this man deserves better. mira fucked him up smh (tbh i have no idea what im writing have mercy on me)

Summary: you're Jonathan Levy's best friend, always been in love with him even after he got married. But then it crumbles down and you proved that you treat him better.

MINORS DNI

My immediate thought is like: oh childhood besties with Jonathan instead of the usual teacher-student relationship. I think it adds more drama, you know?

Imagine being so in love with this man for years, but he's blind. He marries Mira and to add salt to the wound you were his best man, or rather best woman. Holding in tears because you thought to yourself 'Surely, I'd move on.'

You two grow up, still closer and you watched him make a family of his own while you work a decent job and end up drinking at the end of the day. Partners come and go, but none of them made you feel the same way Jonathan did. And Jonathan barely did shit.

You knew it was wrong pining for a married man, but you hoped some day Jonathan sees that Mira treats him like shit. You didn't want to upset him since you're his best friend. The one person who knew everything about him even after setting boundaries since he got married.

Were you surprised when Jonathan calls you over and tells you Mira cheated on him? Of course not. You called up a babysitter for Ava and went to hit up a bar, drowning in his sadness.

"What does she have that keeps you... I don't know... loving her? What's so different that you keep crawling back to her."

He couldn't reply. Jonathan stared at you, remembering all the times you two talked— the ones where he's always ranting about his married life, the struggles and the stress. You always just sat there and listened to him. You never straight out voiced your opinion about Mira.

"What else do you think of her?"

"She's a bitch. I mean seriously, you two have a daughter and she pulls this shit. Anyone— and I mean everyone can treat you better than she does."

You always did speak the truth when you're drunk. So this was different.

"You packed her shit too. If I were you, I would've burned everything she owned. Did I ever tell you of the ex boyfriend I had? Changed his shampoo to hair remover."

"That's a bit extreme."

"Your face is a bit extreme."

You always knew just how to make him laugh, even with childish insults. No words were exchanged between the two of you, Jonathan stared at you, scanning your features. Something about you was different. Maybe it was the alcohol, but he's just barely tipsy.

Next thing he knew, he kissed you. He realized that he loved you more than a best friend normally did. He was in love.

Even if it took your whole lives, you thanked whoever the fuck made him realize he loved you (me).

In the middle of your kissing session, he pulls away only to take off his glasses, even touching the lenses despite wanting to keep it fingerprint-free.

His daughter's asleep, baby sitter's gone. You two stumbled into his house, lips locked. Jonathan wasted no time getting you into his bedroom (well, him and Mira's bedroom) and taking your clothes off.

Not only was this the perfect revenge, this was a perfect moment. Your wildest dreams finally coming true.

Jonathan fucks— no, he makes love. He's slow, making you feel good. He's definitely a giver. He peppers you non-stop with kisses. You leave scratches and marks on his body. The pleasure is too much. You were happy that night.

The next morning, breakfast in bed and a kiss on your forehead. Clearly, he didn't regret anything from last night. Jonathan really realized he loved you and you loved him.

Let's just say that you practically lived in his house at this point. Mira comes home to find Jonathan fucking you on the kitchen counter.

"You slut-!"

"You can't say shit, you cheated on him you fucking cunt!"

You successfully landed a harsh slap across Mira's face before getting pulled away by Jonathan. He carries you back into his bedroom and he cups your face with a smile.

"Did it feel good?"

"Yeah. Been wanting to do that since she broke the mug I gave you if I'm being honest."

Jonathan kicked Mira out, and you two spent the night making love to each other. Jonathan was right— everything Mira hated about him, you loved. You were absolutely better than her.

Their divorced finalized, and Jonathan got full custody of Ava. You moved in and brought life to their dull house.

For your birthday, he bought you a piano... an expensive one at that. He loved hearing you play.

He's the type to pick you small flowers every day and you have an album filled with pressed flowers. Before you go to work, he would slip a sticky note in your bag and you would find it while working and can't help but smile.

You make his lunches. He's always liked your cooking. You were definitely levels up from pathetic dinner tupperware spaghetti.

You even pack Ava's lunch for school, making notes like

Have a good day, sweetie! I love you ❤️

For Jonathan, it's always confessions of love. Even if at this point you two should be married.

Love you for as long as the stars shine ❤️

He can't help but smile like a fool during lunch. Even brags about the food you make.

He was in the middle of a lesson when he realized he wanted to marry you. As soon as class ended, he sprinted to Tiffany & Co. and bought you a diamond ring that suited you.

He was just utterly in love with you. One day, playing your piano, you looked ethereal that he grabbed the ring and got down on one knee. He just loved you too much.

You two spent the rest of your days more and more in love than that day in the bar along with your children. He couldn't ask for anyone better. You were the one for him, no one else.

[bestiadentro]

//

A lot of my slowness has to do with dealing with a lot of grief and guilt on top of that grief. Yes, I've been sick, but I've also been extremely depressed since my mom passed earlier this year and even beforehand because a lot of people I idolized and looked up to died too. Then my cat passed. Then the man I looked up to most in the whole world died. On top of always struggling for food and other things I'm just..

I'm tired. And I feel like I'll never be able to let this guilt surrounding my mom's passing go. I always feel like I ruined her life and that she would have been happier not having me. That and like.. I have no family anymore because my siblings are being assholes.. as always(I'll never be talking to my sister because I cannot forgive her for things she did while my mom was dying). Then I never even got any of my mom's ashes because of her ex boss/ex partner and abuser holding them hostage.

On top of it all I've just been so incredibly lonely IRL and online. I often feel like no one really wants to know me cause no one really talks to me. I've started feeling like I'll never been good enough to have super close friendships again. I haven't felt close to anyone besides my bf in so long. I care about my online friends but idk I always feel like people tolerate me. No one really talks. No one really tries to get to know me outside of my health issues either. No matter how much I'd like to avoid talking about how I am, to be honest. Like no one asks about my likes, my dislikes, shares theirs with me; I feel like no one has been excited to contact me about anything. And I'll be excited to tell other people things but then I decide not to because idk it feels like no one wants to hear me all the time. Like I always feel that way. That no one wants to hear me.

Everything is why I haven't been talking to people much. I always feel like such an eyesore and like no one could ever want me in any way(platonically). So I just end up shutting up. And God, I always feel so lonely to the point it's actually physically painful. I have no family to go to because they don't want me(and are scapegoating me/blaming me for my mom's death), I don't feel like I have any close friends and I feel like people just tolerate me until they find something better, and I'm so isolated and have been for years to the point literally nothing I used to love is enjoyable anymore. I feel like I'm losing my mind always being stuck living life this. Everything feels so empty and not enjoyable at all because all I have to do is the same exact things over and over and over every single day and the only people I have to talk to IRL are my abusive partners.

It's so hard to want to go on anymore. I spent so much time in bed now because everything feels so heavy on me I just can't bring myself to get out of bed most of the time. I often feel like there's no point in me waking up anymore. I feel like no one would even notice or miss me if I faded into nothing, but part of me also feels like that's better cause I don't want to bother anyone. Cause that's all I feel like I do.

I'll prob end up deleting this tbh cause I can't even talk about how I feel without feeling awful and guilty anymore. Like I feel like I don't have the right to complain. Because it's so hard not to believe I deserve all these things somehow.

[lunatic-pudge]

Heavy SFW Alphabet

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Didn't mean to take a month break on these, but oh well. Am slowly working on some requests I got, I'm a super bad procrastinator, so plz bear with me. Now I gotta figure out if I wanna do Spy or Soldier next. I'll figure it out in a few days when my brain let's me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A: Affection (How do they show affection? And how affectionate are they?)

Now with Heavy, I'd say he's the least affectionate of all the mercs. Like, yeah, he's gonna love on his S/O, but he tends to be a more reserved person. He's definitely a no PDA type of guy, a simple hug is fine, BUT IF YOU DARE TO TRY TO GIVE HIM A SMOOCH he'd be so flustered. He likes to keep the lovins behind closed doors

B: Best Friend (What would they be like a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Definitely a loyal bestie. Can see him wearing friendship bracelets with Medic tbh. Befriending him takes a while though cause he just prefers to stick to himself. He's like Sniper where you two could sit in silence and just vibe together. He's a very good friend to have. Ready to protect and he there for you

C: Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Big man do be loving a good cuddle, but only when it's you two. He'd let you lay on top of him, nuzzling up against his S/O, enjoying each other's presence. I'm sure with enough convincing, he'll let you be the big spoon, but for a price ;)

D: Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking & cleaning?)

Another fellow house husband. Makes some of the best food ever and will take care of the house and let you relax. He won't hesitate to tightly wrap you up in a blanket burrito, unable to escape, just to get you to relax

E: Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He quick and to the point. Doesn't like having to dance around the topic. Why prolong it and make things worse? He's pretty good at handling breakups, he knows that sometimes things don't work out and you gotta learn to move on

F: Fiancé(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Loves the idea of getting married to his S/O but would wanna wait until his days are over. He doesn't wanna rush things though, preferring to take his time.

G: Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Tries to be gentle but it's hard to be gentle when you're a big guy like Heavy. He's better at being gentle emotionally, rather than physically. He's had a rough childhood, so he understands the struggle. He will let you cry it all out if you need to

H: Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Likes a good hug when it's from someone he's comfortable with (family, Medic, S/O). Hugs from anyone else makes him SUPER uncomfortable. Def has the best hugs and I will fight anyone who disagrees. He's big, comfy, and WARM

I: I Love You (How fast do they say the L-Word?)

I feel like he'd be too shy to say I love you first. While he tries to be upfront with everything, saying I love you is such deep, intimate thing to say. He doesn't wanna rush it, but you bet your ass he'll be so happy to hear you say it first.

J: Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Heavy? Jealous? Absolutely, not. This man has nothing to be jealous about. When he's with his S/O, he trusts them 110%. He knows he has nothing to worry about. And even then, why would you want someone else? Heavy is a big, burly man with cuddles for days! Why would you EVER wanna settle for less?

K: Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Homie's got them lil' gentle and delicate kisses. He tries to be as gentle as he can with kisses and I'm here for it. Loves giving his S/O forhead kisses.

L: Little Ones (How are they around kids?)

He loves kids, but he's worried about hurting them by accident. He's a big guy, and kids are small, fraglie, and crazy. Kids are feral with him, constanly trying to climb him and asking if he's a giant. He would absolutely make a great dad though. First, picture him cuddling with a baby. Got it? Good now picture him having a daughter and having a tea party with her. He'd be sitting at a tiny table, wearing a tiara and pink tutu as his daughter serves him tea, telling him some juicy "drama". I love it. Make it a real thing plz

M: Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Man's got a strict morning and night schedule, and would like if you followed it as well. He gets up early, one of the first to get up probably. Showers, eats, prepares for the day, standard stuff. Rarely does he allow himself to sleep in or have a lazy day. There's always something to do

N: Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Tries to go to sleep at a reasonable time. He ain't a night owl. He likes to read before going to bed, helps him to relax. Likes to be snuggled up with his S/O as well. Probably owns a C-PAP

O: Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait awhile to reveal things slowly?)

I'd say it takes him some time. He does love talking about his Mother and sisters though. He's got some funny stories about his sisters. But he doesn't like talking about his dad and certain past events. He did have a rough upbringing after all. And it can be hard to talk about so just give him time, he'll slowly come around

P: Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Man's got hella lots of patience. It takes so much to make him angry. The only thing that can get on his nerves quicker than most is dealing with certain (Scout) mercs. But to be fair, Scout knows how to get on everyone's nerves

Q: Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every detail in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

I'd say he's got a pretty good memory on him, he's just gotta remember the right words to say. He might forget some little, slightly random details though but it's hard to be mad at him

R: Remember (What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

You, him, a good book, and a giant blanket wrapped around you both. You both are snuggled up together, soaking up each other's warmth. He reads the book to you, his deep voice lulling you to sleep. Heavy loves these moments between you two. Where he gets to be snuggled up with you, holding you in his arms, keeping you safe.

S: Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Definitely a protective bear. Will do WHATEVER he can to keep you safe. If he can't be there to keep you safe, he will have Medic there in his place. And then he'll have Medic give constant updates on you. Poor thing just wants to keep you safe. Sometimes he can be a little too overprotective at times

T: Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, and everyday tasks?)

He tries in his own special ways. He likes having dates at home. He sees it as a more intimate setting. He'd write you cute little poems expressing how much he loves you. He would have everything taken care of and won't let you even lift a finger to help out

U: Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

The only bad habit I can think of is his habit of being cold and distant. He tends to keep things to himself. Poor baby isn't use to having someone there to talk to and just vent to. But it's a bad habit that can be fixed over time

V: Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Honestly, I don't think he's too worried about his looks. I'm sure he does have some small image issues cause he's always getting called fat by other mercs. He's moreso built like a hippo. They look like they're these fat, lazy creatures but they're actually pure muscle and will tear anyone and anything to shreds

W: Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Meh, he'd be fine if he has to go without you for a while or the relationship ends. He's an independent man who's been through hell and back. He can handle being away from his S/O for whatever reason

X: Xtra (A random headcanon for them)

God, you know there's so much more to this man. He just doesn't show it. Well, you can kinda see it out on the battlefield and I bet it can be seen when he's drunk too. But he's also not much of an alcohol guy. He'll drink every now and then but it's just not something he cares about. Also, Medic's the unoffical third wheel and your guys' relationship. He's just kinda there. Think of him as your child. Now imagine the three of you in a cuddle pile, fighting for who gets to lay on Heavy. Heavy ends up having to decide and obviously he chooses you, sorry Medic

Y: Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He doesn't like loud, cocky people. He needs someone who's more on the chill side. Yeah, those types of people and be fun to watch and hang out with every now and then, but it can get tiring to deal with. So someone who's more introverted is the type of person for him

Z: Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

Again, he tries to maintain a strict sleep schedule. Go to bed early and wake up early. Definitely a fellow sleep apnea buddy so sleeping sucks sometimes. Cuddles are a must during bedtime though, or else >:(

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[aliteralsemicolon]

I have more than 3 questions if you are comfortable answering them. I really love your writing style so I would be really greatful if you share your secrets ❤️

What is your writing process like?

How long does one story take to write?

How do you come up with your ideas?

Do you ever run out of ideas?

What is your thought process when writing Spencer? I feel like you capture his energy so well.

Who do you imagine as Reader? I feel like I relate a lot to the Reader in we can't be friends story.

Do you ever get anxious when posting a story?

Sorry if these are too many questions. It may sound strange but I am really fond of how you write and I am an aspiring writer myself, I would appreciate your advice. I am unsure of how to describe, but it feels like you put a lot of love in your characters interacting with each other, if that makes sense? You capture the 'feeling' of love really well. Also English is not my first language I apologise for any mistakes 😅

oh so I can't even begin to describe how incredibly sweet this ask is and how it's left me speechless. truly I was taken aback because I literally never though I'd ever get asked something this touching, and I'm so flattered that you took the time to ask this. also don't worry about your english, you're basically better than I am tbh 😭 anyways essay incoming

my writing process is actually pretty simple. once I have an idea I write it down in my brainstorm doc for later. when I'm ready to write it I make a new doc for that specific fic. then I make a list writing how the story is going to unfold (what the plot will be or what's gonna happen in a scene etc). basically I write anything and everything that comes to mind (scene, dialog, quote, etc). even if it's messy bc I can always sort it out later. once I have that initial planning done I kinda just start writing according to the list. I write as much or as little as my brain feels like, then circle back when more motivation strikes. I also don't always stick 100% to the original list/script because things change and I get new ideas that work better for the story as I write. eventually it all just comes together. once it's done, it's beta read either by me or a kind friend and I just post it with my normal layout.

the amount of time it takes to write a fic depends on a couple of factors. obviously, the length of the actual fic is a big one. I never really know how long or how short a fic is going to be, I kinda just keep writing until I'm happy with how it's unfolded. often times my fics end up being way longer than intended because I'm really bad at writing short form content. also, I can lose interest in a fic pretty fast if I don't emotionally vibe with it. so there's no set answer, it really just depends on circumstance. I've learned to just stop trying to force my pace and let everything flow in its own time.

MUSIC!!! I lovvveeee music (from a listening stand point, I could not produce any part of it to save my life). anything and everything I do creatively sparks from music and how that music associates with an emotion/memory/desire. like for example: we can't be friends. I love that song. I associate the song with feelings of extreme heartbreak masked by delusion. the lyrics are touchy, but the song is upbeat. yet the beat is missing something to me. like it's hollow and what ever it's missing is just within my grasp but I can't reach it (does this even make sense?) and that's how part 1 of wcbf formed. Or malicious compliance is inspired by (TMI!!!) TiO by Zayn because I associate it with a specific memory and so that fic happened. imagining (delusion) is also just one of my strong suits.

no, I've yet to run out of ideas, luckily. I just know that when it does happen it's going to hit me in the fucking ass at my lowest.

absolutely no thought process 💙 I just write him how I want to perceive him and it seems to work out in my favour. Spencer unironically is my type to a fucking T and I know what I want in a partner. what I want magically compliments what Spencer's personality already is. then again, parts of his personality also depend on what season Spencer I'm imagining.

obviously, there are certain aspects of Reader that are parts of me. that can't be helped, as a writer you always project bits and pieces of yourself in there. but Reader is also just as much mixed as whatever type of personality works best to the story, but never in an extreme way. Reader is open to your personal interpretation, there is no one person I imagine to be Reader.

yes ALL THE FUCKING TIME because what if you guys don't fuck with todays tom foolery? what then? thanks for reading my stuff guys <3

and good luck reading this monstrosity. as always ignore all my grammatical errors because I do not proofread my rambles 🙏

also thank you again, anon for your sweet message. I hope I was able to give the answers you were looking for. best of luck for your writing journey :D

[lostusagis]

Aaaaah! Is it Shower Dee With Love Day?! Well it IS Munday heheh! *Taps on mic* Ahem. Is this thing on? Can you hear me? Ok so first I'd like to say...

YOU'RE AMAZING!!! 🎤😊

I'm so happy to have met you. I still think about it so tenderly to this day. I'm really really happy to have you not only as my rp partner but also as my precious friend ❤️ You're my favorite person to see on the dash! Anytime you reblog or post something, I can't help but send you my support by giving a like or a comment or both~! You're so fun to write with and super sweet and funny and talented and smart and considerate and patient and supportive and kind and caring and- *BREATHES* I just think ur neat :) SUPER NEAT!!!

You put so many wonderful writing ingredients into all your muses and I want to eat all of them in one big pot of soup... Yes I want to eat them wyd about it? JNHBYUGTCFRTFYVUBHINJ LIKE I REALLY LOVE LEARNING ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT YOUR MUSES! It's why I always like to send headcanon asks. Your answers are always so good and interesting and I can't get enough!

You deserve all the support and love and recognition like fr people are MISSING OOOOOOUUUUUUUUT!!! I absolutely adore you and our interactions and I'll never stop expressing that. ALSO PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE POST THOSE DRABBLES I KNOW YOU HAVE THOSE GEMS DRAFTED I KNOW YOU DO DON'T HIDE THEM FROM ME THEY'RE CARRYING DUST OVER THERE THOSE FUCKING GEMS NEED TO BE SEEN I TELL YOU SEEN!!! Haha sorry I just love reading your drabbles like seriously I'm your #1 fan! I love your writing and your ideas a lot! Always the best stuff aaaahhhhh. Ok but srsly no pressure about posting those drabbles if ur not ready, but just letting you know that if you have doubts on them just know that they always come out great in the end ♡ I can tell you put so much thought and detail into writing them. It really does shine through. Actually, it's because of you that I ever wrote drabbles here for the first time! I've done a lot of first times here on this blog because of you, in fact. You inspire me in many ways, Dee! 😊

Haha sorry this got long wow. I could go on and on tbh, but basically you're the best and ily so so so so so soooooooooooo much ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

( its 5am and im fucking skdjdjs gonna cry. you really know how to make me emotional huh? I really needed this though thanks. since as of late I've been hating my writing a lot. But man, you're honestly my favorite to see on the dash too. All those feelings are mutual. I LOVE seeing your reactions to my replies or asks, i always look forward to seeing that hahaha. And i definitely always wanna show my support to you too. I like seeing the stuff you rb related to Namida's character, helps me get a better understanding of her y'know? I adore her so much. I want to kiss her on the forehead and hug her tightly and tell her how amazing she is.

You're also super fun to write with, MAN. I still go through old threads and reread. That's how much every interaction was soooo great for me. But you're literally so sweet... So so kind. You're one of the few people I'm confident is interested in my writing & muses. Never had any doubts about that literally. I know I'd literally die for yours. Hmu if you ever write a book I'd buy that shit quick. Every reply, every ask, it's like a dessert. You've truly given me the best rp experience ever. And i wanna do my best to give you a good experience as well because im as invested in your content as you are in mine. You're awesome, amazing, so, so talented and creative. You're also such a great friend, thanks especially for sending me messages currently since it's just been rough haha. Just... Thanks for everything. I've had tough moments on this blog but having you as a mutual is why it still remains :))

But AAAA the ones i havent posted are unfinished, since i keep getting stuck or lose confidence in what I'm writing. I know i started the one i mentioned where the siblings talk about namida recently I'll try focusing on that next. You remain the only reason i still consider posting drabbles ajdjdjsksjd thanks i know i always look forward to your comments on them. But DUDE I'd love to read any other drabbles you'll write. I think so far you wrote the one where Namida got really upset and made a mess in her room & the really smutty one. I really wanna reread the first one so if you have a link pls send i read the most recent one a couple times already jesus. So good. Top tier stuff. Also if i forgot any others you posted please lmk 😩 but also just for u I'll make sure to try finishing more drabbles.

Thanks so much for being such a good friend / rp partner. Sending good vibes to you as well. You made me really happy by sending this sorry if its a jumbled mess ily )

[reedsofintimacy]

How smart are you? You’ve given some hints before but how many degrees do you have? What are you studying? What do you want to do in live professionally and passionately? What’s your purpose career wise?

Also hypothetically would you be open to being your wives employee if she had a really successful company?

I actually don't have any degrees! I'm a nerd and smart but also certainly have my flaws.

For context, I was an honors student all growing up. Always tested in the 99th percentile for state aptitude assessments. I got a 33 on my ACT, did well on a bunch of AP tests and went to a non-ivy-league but prestiguous state school in the top 25% of the incoming class and as a university scholar, in an accelerated chemistry PhD program, and lived in an honors community on campus.

I learned to speak some Chinese, became an instructor for a traditional Korean percussion group, led a bible study, tutored students in organic chemistry, and did excellent in my humanities courses writing on topics like a linguistic study of gender conception in viking-era icelandic society and designing an interventional plan to address youth homelessness in the community.

College was the best 2 years of my life, I adored everything about it but I also completely overloaded myself. Turns out you need more than raw brains for success. I was conflicted between prioritizing my studies vs my faith, and had unadressed adhd and anxiety i wasnt ever aware of and didnt know how to cope with. When my 19 credit hours were drowning me, I couldnt own up to the shame of overwhelm and failure, couldnt look my teachers in the eye and ultimately stopped showing up to class and dropped out.

I'm now back in school with a better understanding of myself, an absense of competing priorities and a lot of experience. Im pursuing working in Radiology doing either CT or MRI. A lot of my friends growing up are finishing their PhD theses and I love discussing them with them, but I myself don't have even an associate's to my name.

Career wise, I originally wanted to be a professor of either Chemistry or Materials Science. I debated majoring in Linguistics or teaching English as a second language but i don't speak anything fluent enough to really do that yet. I've since considered pursuing a career in comedy, as a science communicator and journalist or PIO, as a university student advisor, and taught myself to code to maybe pursue programming.

I love learning. Currently I'm putting the most effort into Chinese classical literature. I've done personal units on nutrition, skincare, fitness, urban planning, economics, and some software like adobe illustrator and game dev with Unity and Godot.

For my professional future, I think I'm for now planning on being a travelling technician in healthcare. It'd give me an opportunity to see lots of different places which is a goal of mine and shouldn't have too many commitments keeping me held in place. Maybe I'll finally get over my fear of casual hookups and become a traveling nurse by day and city-to-city clit servicer by night sampling all sorts of delicious lady bits. Idk. For now I'm just focused on what I'm doing in the moment.

In terms of passions I want time and independence to pursue learning as an autodidact. I'd love to maintain access to university libraries and attend lots of public lectures and symposiums if i could live near enough a big university. I want to read about the things that interest me and someday get over my social anxiety and travel to make friends all over the world with fellow nerds.

In terms of working for my wife of course that would be really sexy I'd love to be my partners doting but slutty assistant 💕 depending on the industry i guess. I think something like insurance or real estate is kind of predatory tbh and wouldnt want to be associated with it. But if I didn't have an issue with it I'd adore being my partners employee. Or even just a supportive house husband or trusted personal assistant ❤️❤️ a role i've always thought I have the potential to be quite good at

[shmowder]

Woke up and am headed to work still thinking about it.

Also Aglaya in a nightgown I am WEAK 🖤

Makes me wonder, though, what type of partner do you think would be a good match for some of the other characters? Specifically Katerina, Yulia, Peter, and Grief?

🐿️ anon

Aglaya in a nightgown lives rent-free in my head, the idea alone gets my face hot and knees weak this mental image is too powerful.

I think realistically, she'd prefer a classic silk nightgown, black and sleek. Very little to no lace at all, something of a vintage cut to fit the time period of the game. The nightgown would be on the longer side, very airy, and doesn't hug the body.

But MY HEART desires something a little more risqué, you could say. I want her in a short nightgown with lace and small ruffles, still black, bc it is her iconic colour. A definite modern design Purely self indulgent bc I am a simp.

Or maybe a flowy dramatic nightgown? the firrly kind that comes with a feathery rope.

And hmm do yoh mean like in a ship or a good match logistically? Like how Lara starts a shelter and mirrors Alexander Saburov in a lot of virtues and traits?

If it's the first one, I ship everything but nothing in particular? The only ships I'm passionate about are Aglaya and Artemy's doomed roomance, sometimes Burakhovsky too.

If it's the latter and I get to play match maker in order to create the most efficient couple who would help each other in reaching their goals rather than based on love, they'd be:

Katerina and Maria

Listen, Katerina wants to be a mistress desperately, and the pressure of the responsibility is leading her downhill.

If we simply marry her off to a capital M Misteress, then there is no pressure for her to prefrom bc her wife would've already taken care of it.

Katerina can live a happy life and not worry about being infertile since her and Maria would'nt have had children of their own either way. They can happily adopt.

You might ask, what's in it for Maria?

How about landing the final hit to the declining powerhouse Saburov and completely ereasing it from the board? better yet, she stole the queen to her side of the chessboard.

Would they love each other? hmm unlikely. But I don't think they'd care. Maria loved the bachelor but she still married younger Vlad just to rule the town afterwards. Alexander loved Katerina more than life itself but it wasn't enough to get her out of her mental breakdown. These two women do not care for love as much as they care for results, so they balance each other.

Yulia and her roommate

Eva is a BAD TIME for her. Yulia might be hopelessly smitten with her golden locks, innocent fawn eyes and romantic view on life, but it will never work. Especially with Yulia's fatalistic views and tendency to relay on logic.

Eva wants to preform in life and Yulia wants to remain an observer which is why they would clash. Eva wants to find her purpose and Yulia believes life is inherently purposeless. They would hurt each other no matter how much they love one another. Eva might get over it afterwards but that breakup would shatter Yulia's fragile nerves.

That's why I think her engineer roommate in P2 is the best option. Someone who can stand her enough to live together is definitely someone who would be perfect for her. That roommate probably saw her through the lowest of her moments and helped her get back up. It's a best friends to lovers situation.

But if I had to pick a prominent character, I'd go with Aglaya or Peter. Sadly I don't see Aglaya having much interest in Yulia, she might bore her tbh. It's a one sided attraction on Yulia's side.

For Peter, they would make each other so much worse. Wallowing in their melancholy and being emo in general. Peter would ask her to snuff cigarettes out on his neck and Yulia would oblige.

There is always Yulia and Dankovsky? They mirror each other, they have so many things in common such as philosophy and latin. They also would annoy the shit out of each other by being so obnoxious all the goddamn time.

Good. Let them save the rest of the world from each other.

But ah, Yulia is strongly implied to be a butch lesbian isn't she? She'd probably pass on all the men.

Peter and....?

What besides his twin? lmao okay no no. I think Anna Angel. Maybe he has a crush? They are friends in canon and let's be fr for a second who would befriend Peter Stamatin out of free will? Anna would.

They could work together? Bpd queen and Depression king. She is a singer and an acrobat, he is a painter and an architect. They both value art but not in the same obnoxious way art consumers do, rather in the messy way artists do. How people who make art can appreciate it's ugliness and the struggle in a way that the people who merely look at art can never.

We're just hitting two birds with one rock by putting their dolls together. Anna solves her fear of being found out since Peter and Andrey would protest her if it happens. Like they killed people for less before.

And Peter now has someone who sings around, didn't he enjoy how Grace sang lullabies to his paintings? He likes music and it might inspire him to make art again.

There will be love but I wouldn't call it romantic.

Bad Grief and ARTEMY

FUCK YEAH MY SHIP MY SHIP!

They used to be best friends! While Lara and Rubin abandoned Grief thinking he truly turned to the bad side, Artemy still saw good in him when he came back. They were kids running in grass fields together and climbing trees.

Grief is the first person to help you when you arrive, you get a stash of goodies from his cupboard during the first day. He immediately gives you a job and still rewards you whether you fail or succeed. He clearly has a soft spot for Artemy.

Also he is a simp, like clear as day. There are so many lines when he is being embarrassingly down bad. Calling Artemy's hands precious surgeon hands that should be protected, saying it's no problem if Artemy killed his men, it's their fault for messing with him in the first place.

But would they work together? would they bring out the best for each other and solve each other's problems?

HA. No.

So I propose, drum roll please!.....Grief and Victor Kain.

Clocksmiths? More like COCKSMITHS.

Grief freshly had his mind broken by Aglaya, Victor had his mind broken years ago by Aglaya's sister, Nina. They both like tinkering with clocks.

Grief questions his reality a lot, Victor questions the flow of time a lot. Victor holds enough statues in town to redeem Grief in the eyes of the people, Grief holds enough experience as a gang leader and a necessary evil to balance the scales in town. He lets his gang get away with crime as long as its petty and no one gets killed. He knows a gang will exist with or without him so he'd rather be in charge to make sure to minimise the costs.

And it is surprisingly noble and thoughtful of him. Victor must really appreciate that.

will there be love? eh...maybe? not really. But there will be mutual respect and admiration above all.

-

Anyway what are your thoughts? I don't feel strongly on any of these pairings tbh. I don't ship them I'm just throwing stuff on the wall and seeing what sticks.

[rumble-aint-a-rumble-without-me]

alright hi :))

this is a continuation of the one that didn't get finished cause of glitches 😒😒 idk what i typed 🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏽‍♀️ so here's what i THINK i typed and then some.

• im a girl gemini (diabolically cursed x5) with curly hair that's black at the roots (and then some) and dark purple at the bottom. i have dark brown eyes and im about 5'6 and i have brown skin ! im latina so im just a smidge lighter than johnny :))

• i don't have a personality because i have too many interests and different views with everything. id like to think i'm a combination of everyone and everything i find cool and interesting. which of course means i have a WIDE variety of topics in my head. i love to see the point of view from multiple people and i don't stick to just one overall opinion with things. i'm pretty indecisive but once i have a firm stance on something (like absolutely NO pineapple or mushrooms on pizza) then it's pretty hard to sway me.

• I LOVE MUSIC 🗣️🗣️🗣️🫦🗣️ i want to inject it into my soul and become one with the sound waves....but i seriously love music 💿 i have tons of cds and i caved and got spotify premium because i can't live with the ads 💔💔 i also LOVE to read and write, it's been an outlet since i was a kid so.

• i also don't have a style. like i said, i have a lot of interests and i tend to always try to let everyone know that at all times (im insufferable and pretentious unfortunately) so i'm constantly mixing it up. downtown girl meets david bowie new wave ??? check. whimsical gothic witch that listens to stevie nicks ???? check. 70's almost famous, dazed and confused wannabe ??? check. twee eternal sunshine jessica day meets juno and romana flowers ??? check. I DOMT HAVE ONE AESTHETIC 🗣️🗣️ I JUST DRESS LIKE ME AND HOPE FOR THE BEST 🗣️🗣️🗣️

• i'm not sure what my love language is ??? id assume in a healthy relationship you'd have a generous balance between all of them but idk 🤷‍♀️ leaning more into some though id def say words of affirmation and physical touch but ONLY with a romantic partner. idk why but any other kind of physical intimacy with another person just feels very weird to me and i don't like it. i always do find myself daydreaming though and wishing for affection like that from a partner so yeah 🤷‍♀️

• i slip up sometimes and call people terms of endearment 😞 i try not to cause ik some people don't like that but i always say "baby, honey, and sweetheart". sometimes i use them jokingly but i also just say them as filler tbh

• i'm not the kinda of person to go up to you and strike a conversation but if someone came up to me i wouldn't turn them away immediately. i tend to have a pretty good understanding of peoples vibes so i'd like to think i can tell when someone's being disingenuous. i'm shy at times but that's not my whole trait cause once i get comfortable you are in for JOKES AND JOKES AND JOKES 🐺🐺 i don't take myself seriously very often and i like to try and make other people comfortable around me and what better why to do that than humor :) !!! i'm don't think i'm insanely funny, i just laugh at my own jokes and hope for the best 😞 i laugh a lot and i have a loud laugh 🤬 i try to tone it down though cause i get started at a lot and my overthinking ass can NOT handle that PLEASE DONT PERCEIVE ME

• once we're locked in ����as friends or whatever i'm LOYAL😍 someone talking bs ??? not round me partner. not. around. me. 🐺🐺 im not the confrontational type at ALL but i am fiercely defensive over people i care about so if duty calls, i must attend. (im literally batman.)

• one of my go to signature scents is lavender honey and wild fig. do with that what you will 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

OK I THINK THATS ALL SORRY IF ITS A LOT THANK YOU

(note: the format might be weird cause it is NOT letting me type in peace 😭)

Oh buddy, I think Johnny would be obsessed with you. He loves your never changing style, he can't wait to see what you've got going whenever you guys are together. He offers to help touch up your hair too, if that's something you're interested in- your terms of endearment are more than alright with Johnnycake, everytime you call him one, the butterflies in his stomach go bonkahs

[tumblezwei]

You know, for as much as I hoped we didn't have to wait ANOTHER volume and god knows how many more years to see rest of the cast and as much as the "team rwby are the only characters who should have any development or focus at any given point" takes annoy me, I am really glad they're taking every single moment of this volume to focus on the girls. Actually seeing the volume as is makes me realize that continuously cutting away would've weakened it significantly. So sorry for coming into your inbox and going "But the others!" a few months back.

That being said, I do think that not following up on them before the big reunion would be a bad move, especially since they set up the "half my friends and family are dead" angst for many different characters, and I think the big reunion would be cheapened if we didn't follow up on that at least a little. How do you think they should handle that?

Another thing I wanted to ask is what you think Weiss' arc is gonna be based on what we've been getting so far? I'm really intreged on what we might get based on the tiny scraps we got today.

(Also the Penny doll in the jar representing Ruby's hope and Ruby's big speech destroyed me emotionally)

I'm asking a lot of different people these questions cause I'm curious. (Sorry if I accidently asked you twice)

Tbh with the way that the volume has been progressing, cutting away at all to the others would feel like too much time wasted on things that aren't developing the main focus of the volume. Like, as much as I'd like to see ONR, Emerald, and Winter in Vacuo, spending time on them would waste the limited time we have to really explore what the fuck is going on with Ruby lol. What we've gotten so far has been great and I can't imagine it's be even half as a effective if, in maybe the first 5 minutes or so, our attention had been taken up by a completely separate conflict happening a literal world away.

And we don't really need to cut to them imo. The journey that RWBY is going through in the Ever After is fairly self-contained from we can see. There's nothing going on in Vacuo that would give us better context for ever After or vice versa, and it's not like we can't fill in the gaps or just. wait.

As for a reunion, given my experience with CRWBY's writing style, I wouldn't put it past them to have team RWBY drop into Vacuo somehow in the middle of whatever ONR+WE are dealing with. And I'd be fine with that. Maybe volume 10 could spend a little time on ONR+'s feelings, but again I just don't think volume 9 has the time.

As for Weiss, it seems like her arc is going to focus on her feelings of failure toward Atlas. We only have a sliver of it right now, but I could see it developing along her path to rebuilding the SDC (if that's what she wants to do) and trying to create a new legacy on the ashes of her father's and her society's. Just like Ruby is feeling like a failure of a hero, Weiss might feel inadequate as a partner and as someone who can be trusted to lead others into an uncertain future. Everything they've done feels like a loss, and the loss of her entire home came from it. I can't really give many specifics because I'm terrible at predicting what CRWBY will do in the future, but that's what I've been guessing at.

[asexual-angsty-writer]

Very Random AU about Digimon, because it's like Tumblr and YouTube want me to go re-watch everything after so long.

And all I have to offer is: Digi-Swap TK and Kari

Like, I wanna swap their digimon partners, mainly because I think I'd be funny and because of a very random revelation I have.

One thing I never got is how different Angemon and Angewomon were to their previous transformations - Like okay, I can accept them being angel like guardians to the two youngest but still.

Patamon had this cinnamon and more cutesy feel to him - or better yet, a more put together look while still being a bit shy; So to then see Angemon, who looks worn and ragged tbh - it was startling.

Same with Angewomon - even with the tears in her outfit, it felt too put together; Not all at all ally cat or even jaded, considering her whole story. She felt a lot more put together and lost all of that jaddedness for me.

My running headcanon is that these state kinda reflect their respective digidestines and thus - makes it so it reflects their current state of mind.

And thus, I say, switch their Digimons and see how it goes.

Like with TK - Angewomon could keep some of her previous facets; Her hair could be longer and this mimick a cats tail, she could have a gauntlet that looks like claws or boots that mimick retractable claws - let her wear a torn tunic, bandages on her arms/legs and worn Armour to reflect that jaded and older vibe she had. Dents in the helmet could make a cat hear shape - Her bow can plit and become twin tantos or twin Sai's.

With Kari - Angemon could look more like a Cleric - with a baby blue main theme color, a scepter with magic. Give this man a full blown tunic, give him tiny wings on his helmet to match his shoes - give him fluffier wings and let the wings on his head be semi-transparent to go for a halo look.

Besides, it'd be funny for 02 - because TK could have still bonded and become great friends with Patamon; While Kari is great friends with Gatomon - and they could work together as a full unit. Whether it be with one digimon or another, they'd be badass.

That and imagine the running gag that no one can tell who's who's child or digimon.

[wheredostarsgowhenyoudie]

ML Awakening Reaction

WARNING: This post includes spoilers so beware!!

.

.

So I just watched the movie ML Awakening.

In my personal opinion, I think it is not really made for ML fans, but more for those who haven't watched the series ML and those who have only watched a few eps. If that really is the creators' purpose, then they might have done something. But as a fan, I feel I was let down. Tbh, it isn't what I wanted nor what I was looking for in an ML movie.

Thing is, if I'm going to introduce someone to the fandom, that is also not the way I'd do it. See, back then when I didn't know what ML is and had no idea such a show exists, I have a cousin who introduced it to me, way too enthusiastically, mind you. And she started with the partner heroics and the love square. She pressed on the sad life of Adrien and how Mari fell for the boy who saw her as a friend, and how the cat hero in the mask fell in love with said friend in mask unknowingly.

So what is magical about ML is the brilliant plot. The love square is a unique concept, and it got me hooked waiting and looking forward to the revelations and the developments of their relationships and characters. The movie missed that.

Character and relationship wise, there isn't much in the movie except Adrien has a spine and Gabriel actually cares about him.

Movie missed how Tikki and Mari became friends and supported each other. Movie missed how Plagg is protective of Adrien and cares for him more than the kid's own legal guardian does. Movie missed how Mari almost passed the LB mantel to Alya. Movie missed how even the kwamis saw that their holders are made for each other. Movie missed how Chat Noir is a perfect gentleman even when he was turned down.

Character wise, I honestly cringed at Mari's in the movie. Sorry. But, Idk. I understand fear, but the way the plot was so fast phased and people were needing help and she was just there, taking her time...Tikki's urging also didn't help. Even Tikki was getting impatient with her. And no, there was no kindness in Tikki or Master Fu. Mari had it right. They just seemed like creepy thingies who speak vodoo.

We also didn't get to see Adrien's cool first time as Chat Noir. That would have been fun if they showed the difference in Mari's and Adrien's first transformation. That would have built up character.

Also, first meeting wise? The movie version has nothing compared to the show.

And not to be mean but I can't help but cringe on Adrien's taste in music. It's so bad.

Though spoiler wise, if you want an identity reveal, go for the movie to satisfy your curiosity and wishing heart. So you can see it with your eyes open. But for the love of everything, watch the show. Please. Watch the show. And read fanfics. Those are way so much better.

The ML show's plot is like it's made for preteens to adults. The ML movie is...well, it's like it's made for kids. Maybe that is why it is like that. And really I won't believe you if you say it's just me. If you're a fan, I bet it's impossible not to notice.

Still, I do not mean to hurt the movie or bash it. No. Just, I want to set expectations, especially for those who are long time fans like myself. Because I did have my expectations. So there.

Still, thanks for all the effort. :) It was nice.

[wakanai]

i know oda is the blorbo of all time if im remembering correctly, but what's your top 5 bungo favs?

AAAAAA

omygosh!! An ask from you??

Sure!! Hmm.. tbh besides Oda, I haven't really thought about it that much. But I'll think hold on

******************** (pending) *******

5 bungo favs (besides Oda 🤭)

BEAST Atsushi

: ugh. something about how he is literally how Atsushi would be like if Atsushi was in the PM. There's just something that attracts me to him. Like most characters in BSD, he isn't evil and doesn't enjoy the things he does. He's deeply traumatized. He has a shy-kind personality but is placed in the PM where he's made to be a murderer. Interestingly, he isn't as obsessed with BEAST Dazai's approval as Akutagawa was with Canon Dazai (maybe bc Dazai liked Atsushi more? idk..) But BEAST Atsushi has sm going for him and I'm curious about his life after BEAST. I'd like to see more of it ❤️ (don't even get me started on the fanarts of BEAST Atsushi meeting lit. anyone in the Canon world).

2. Verlaine

: This bad boy can fit so much trauma inside him. What makes humans human? What makes him worthy of human dignity when he's just a bunch of codes? Honestly his thoughts and existential crisis is tragic. The fact that he wanted to raise chuuya in the countryside too 😭 and how he helped Chuuya save the world because deep down he knew one person who he thought deserved to live. How he hasn't moved on from said person. How he trains PM assasins to become weapons for the Port Mafia even though he's gone through the same thing. How he (both metaphorically and physically) isn't in the light because he's literally been rotting in a basement for 6 years. No friends. No family. Nothing outside that interests him. With no purpose other than teaching because Rimbaud used to teach too. No one in the mafia can reach him emotionally. He could be like BEAST Dazai tbh. I can see it. Except rimbaud is dead so Verlaine just decided to.. stay in a basement and rot. Someone bring him out of there please 😭😭

(also in another version of BSD I thought of in my head, I gave him a sort of backstory so that increased my personal attachment lol)

And speaking of the guy Verlaine misses...

3. Rimbaud

: This guy... has so much love to give. Idk much about his past but he was a government spy. As I've seen others mention, He may have had to abandon family members for his job. By the time he met Verlaine, he must have been so lonely that he decided to pour all his love into this one partner whom he intended to be with forever. So. Dang. Selfless. Got betrayed by Verlaine. Still went to hell and back for him. Also Verlaine disliked him while he was still alive so there must have been so many moments where he got hurt by Verlaine (like that one birthday gift 😭) but he still kept trying to be a good friend and doing everything to make Verlaine happy. Even when he got amnesia, Verlaine was the one thing he remembered. He didn't even expect Verlaine to apologize!!! Like?? Instead HE was the one who apologized for not understanding Verlaine. He held no grudges whatsoever. My gosh. That's true love right there. He gave Verlaine his all and expected nothing in return. Even when Verlaine betrayed him or didn't appreciate him or was mean to him, he cared sm. Even in his dying moments, his main concern was Verlaine. ouch.

Besides that, he's VERY cool. His ability slays (literally) and his long black hair is just 😫✨

Rimbaud should've picked me instead. I would've treated him much better than Verlaine did 🤭🙄 /j

4: Mori Ogai

OHHHH~ controversial character alert ‼️

Hehe alright. *cracks knuckles*

I initially didn't have much feelings for Mori. I thought he was a pedo and hated him as a villain (cause of how much of a threat he was and what he did to the characters) but I also didn't think about him a lot. And it was hard for me to grasp his character.

Thankfully though, the BSD fandom made me change my mind after a while 🤭

@the-boss-of-the-port-mafia made this amazing compilation of Mori analyses that made me appreciate him more.

also my tumblr bestie @plinko-mori helped me understand him <3

Long story short, tumblr made me realize 2 things:

a. Mori may not actually be a pedo

b. He's more emotional than he lets on

^^ This description was made by Asagiri himself 😶

anyways onto my rambling abt Mori 😭

I like him. I think he's badass. He's giving anti-hero vibes ✨ and he's also tragic in a way because he's doing what he thinks is best for Yokohama and the PM even if he has to be ruthless about it. At heart, he has good intentions. He hates war. He hates needless violence (he disliked the previous bloodthirsty boss; suggested that his death would leave to even more violence during the guild arc; has not once been shown to enjoy committing violence for kicks and giggles; etc). He manipulated Yosano because he thought it was the optimal solution and would result in them winning. He planned Oda's death because again, it was the optimal solution and would result in the mafia winning + less casualties. If there's a conflict, Mori is the guy who will pick the fastest, most convenient solution even if it means getting his hands dirty. He'll always pick the lesser evil with no hesitation.

While characters like Fitzgerald/Dazai/Junichiro would sacrifice the world to save their loved ones, Mori would sacrifice his feelings/loved ones to save the world (not that he's extremely attached to anyone. this guy is very lonely lol. His face when he told Koyou that she could leave the PM and he wouldn't be able to do anything about it shows just how much he's resigned to losing people.)

That being said, it does hurt him when he loses people.

This post by @hina-has-no-life explains very well his regret towards Dazai and Yosano 😭

In BEAST, he didn't have to play the role of the mafia boss hence, he showed his softer sides and treated Atsushi like a son, even admitting that he regrets not being able to help Dazai.

so..yeah. There's something interesting about a villain who forces himself to ignore his emotions for the sake of doing 'the greater good.'

Yes, Mori is manipulative, makes millions from exploiting people via the PM, has done many bad things, will continue to do bad things --but he does have a heart (even if he constantly ignores it lol).

It's also worth mentioning that apparently the management in Yokohama is so bad, the Port Mafia (a literal criminal org) is the one responsible for keeping the crime rate in check (considering bsd Yokohama gets bombed like every month tho, Ig that checks out 😭)

Anywy. Mori. yeah, he's shades of grey (the darker side). Like Dazai, he can act like a silly uncle sometimes. His backstory is so cool with lots of potential.

From military doctor (holy hell. military doctors in history are usually involved in a LOT of shady things) to an underground doctor (uhm. how and why?) to finally, the boss of the Port Mafia.

so interesting. and so much potential.

The quote, "I must be cruel to be kind" suits him quite well.

About the mafia though - I do wonder what he does being filthy rich 🤭 besides the constant ignoring of emotions, I'm sure he must have some greed or ambition in there. That makes him even more nuanced imo.

Ahhhh

and last but not the least:

Mr. Bungou himself

this man, I-

***if I had to insert every single analysis of this guy that I like, my PC would crash LOL***

I won't elaborate too much since Ikyk hehe 🤭

hmm..

I hated Dazai at first cause I felt he was overrated. While watching the anime, I was annoyed that Dazai seemed to be able to solve everything and that no one could defeat him and that he was presented as this 'untouchable figure' of sorts. I'm like, 'WHY DOES HE KEEP WINNING' as if he's omniscient or something like a deus ex machina 😭

overtime, I grew to like him tho (mostly because of Oda LOL 😂)

BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT

his character is interesting (especially in the LNs. I think he's more nuanced in there than in the anime).

I like how he's clearly hiding his heart from everyone around him. He doesn't open up to anyone. Doesn't reveal his plans unless he deems it necessary. manipulates team mates in certain situations (ex: what he did to aku and atsushi). continues to act like a jerk (messes kunikida's plans for fun; belittles akutagawa, etc.)

He's a manipulative jerk with little empathy for strangers but he's trying to fight for the good side. he's trying to save people. he's trying to be better. (and he is actually being better).

Reminds me a lot like Jouno tbh haha.

he's also a little menace with a dark but goofy side to him.

In the BSD rewrite fic I have in my little head, I like to imagine PM Dazai as somewhat like Mahito from jjk. (In the sense that he's an absolute nightmate, truly the "Demon prodigy" whose "blood is blacker than the mafia" but who also has a very childish feel to him).

Ik it's implied that Dazai did in fact commit atrocities like killing innocent people, killing mafia suboordinates who were subpar, torturing people, etc. but I'd like to see more of that. I'd like to see PM Dazai actually hurting someone the audience cares for and being evil instead of it just being told to us by the narrator/other characters.

Like yes, we got bits of his 'evilness' in SB, Dark Era and BEAST but Ig I just want more of that on focus 🤭

like, don't just tell me 'His blood is blacker than the mafia.'

Make me FEEL chills from reading him; make me think, 'oh this kid is really a devil spawn. I hate him' before moving onto dark era and making me surprised that 'dang. i never thought i could feel bad for this dude.'

idk it's prob just a preference I have. 😅

Same with the PM too. I wish we got to see them doing more of their exploitative work to better understand it when characters describe them as 'the demons of Yokohama' or something along those lines. Cause from season 1-3 (of the anime), they kind of...felt less threatening? Season 4-5 was quite a ride though.

ANYWAY MOVING BACK TO DAZAI

The face of BSD. Mr. Bungou 🤭🤭 I think he's a very cool and interesting character. I want him to cry lol.

I want him to LOSE IT in the main manga before the series ends and see what happens.

RN, he's bottling up a lot and is using different masks. It would be interesting to see him being himself more.

aand that's all hehe 🤭😄

Honourable mentions:

✨Adam ✨

"N" <- interesting because despite being who he is, he apparently genuinely cared for his younger brother, Murase. I just find those kinds of things interesting ig..

******

Also it is with great shame that I confess..

I haven't finished reading Stormbringer yet LOL 🤪🤡🤡

(but I did read some spoilers 😂😭)

so if there are any inaccuracies regarding that, please feel free to correct me <33

******* end ******

RANDOM:

Idk I just wanted to share this cause it's funny and (kind of) related.

But a bsd tiktok account I follow used to be named

Ngh~Chuuya~H-Harder~

(yes the fandom is insane 😂😭)

but recently, they changed it to

Ngh~Beast Atsushi~H-Harder~

and I found that funny for some reason lol.

****

anywy thank you for the ask!!! I hope you liked it hehe 🤭❤️❤️❤️❤️

[obsoleteozymandias]

hii there! i'd like to request a twisted wonderland matchup for me if that's alright nyehehe this one's def long so sorry in advance!

Pronouns: she/her

Mbti: infp

Zodiac sign: pisces baybee

Hogwart house: hufflepuff :33

Personality: I'm rlly shy when it comes to strangers and ppl idk that well but when I'm with my friends it a whole diff story HDHDH I (lovingly) tease and make fun of my friends but one of my traits is that I'm loyal to my love ones :33 my friends says that I'm intimidating at first glance or that I look like a grump cat at first but they're surprised when they find out I'm actually sweet, I'm also very affectionate when it comes to my friends like holding their arm or hands, giving them air kisses just overall affectionate HDBJD I tend to worry ( alot) when it comes to grades and school which leads to my anxiety fuking me. I'm the type of person where u have to earn my respect since I don't give that out nilly willy. I'm an introverted person I'm scared of ppl, I'm also into horror movies or those scary videos like analog horror, ghost hunting, horror podcasts, and unsolved mysteries :33 I also have this fascination with the ocean esp the animals in it but my fave is def sharks, my aesthetic would be between cottagecore, studio ghibli core, and princess core and oh! my top three kins are Scara, collei (both from genshin) and nagi (from blue lock) hope that helps hehe

Hobbies: drawing, painting, watching horror movies, watching scary videos, playing video games, studio ghibli movies, pretty flowers hehe, SHARKS HEHE, catzz, bookstores, ice coffee

Dislikes: people lying honestly ://, hahaha failing to meet my expectations hahaha, loud noises, overcrowded places

Partner preference: mmm I don't mind anyone tbh :00 tho I kinda prefer my partner to be someone that can make me laugh and smile hehe

That's all sorry again that's long( ^^||) thank youu

Congrats on being page 100 of my matchup doc

== Twisted Wonderland ==>

I match you up with…

Kalim Al-Asim 

He’s one of the first people you become friends with, since his outgoing and kind nature warms your heart (and he thinks you’re cute, and wants to get to know you better). 

He’s most amazed by your dedication to your loved ones, and when he becomes one of those? He’s endlessly grateful to you. He’s been betrayed and hurt many times, and while he’s tried to ignore it, it gets hard, and so that your loyalty makes his heart sing. 

He’s just as affectionate as you are! He’ll be hanging off of you arm and kissing your cheek and wrapping himself around you like a snake every minute, and he’s filled with giggles when you reciprocate. 

He loves snuggling with you at the end of the day, holding your hand and playing with you hair while you game or watch a movie together. 

He’s NOT a horror person, but I imagine he’d watch the movies with you just to make you happy. 

He will demand that you sleep in his bed that night though, he’s too scared to sleep alone. 

He’s also super invested in whatever you’re invested in! He wants to know everything about your passions, and will 100% buy you any merchandise related to your favorite things. 

Kalim and you are the sunshine x sunshine couple. 

[redara]

Well, i rarely write, but this is better than bottling things on my own 😂

Hello, I'm Red, and welcome to my little life update.

August had been one of the most challenging months for me. Had to start living separately from husband due to his work, but we've been trying to see the positive side. So far, things have been very good. We communicate daily and frequently, and i don't mind being alone (our cat keeps me company). Being alone is nice, but being lonely is hell. As much as i want to reach out to family and friends, there are some things that you can only discuss with your partner.

I work two jobs, one is a regular day job with a flexible schedule, and the other is this *gestures to everything else* artistic thing. Socially, most of the days, i can get by on my own. Some days i'd get more emotional than usual, but hey, that's life - or anxiety, lmao.

My anxiety is making it hard for me to relax, like watching movies or playing games or even reading a book, or even socializing in general. It's a bit difficult to focus as well, so i tend to forget lots of stuff and lose track of time. Socializing in general doesn't come as easily to me, i'd overthink what i have to say, and be worried if i have said the wrong thing. Perhaps my favorite words are "thank you" and "i'm sorry", so i prefer to use emojis or gifs to get my emotions/thoughts across 😅

So, it's September, and i'm already preparing stuff for October. And tbh i am excited. Honestly, i just wanna share what i made (and am making) because it makes me happy.

There ya go, just a little rant cause i can't say everything to my cat while his goblin brain only thinks about food. I can't say i'm complaining, things are going to be alright, and if it's not, well, it is always better than nothing. Just need to get it out of my chest.

Edit: here is Leonis. Full name Leonis Kneady 🥰