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neonganymede · 2 years ago
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"fucking same" as in you've been thinking about that author's note or as in you've watched gay porn for writing purposes?
"fucking same" as in it's something that I would make a point of leaving in an author's note if I had gone to such lengths for writing purposes.
Though I usually edit down my author's notes to the bare minimum because I don't think anybody really cares what I have to say~<3
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MCYT BLOGS: PLEASE READ
hi :) TL:DR please stop posting mcyt content in the #minecraft and the #mineblr tags.
long explanation under the cut
#minecraft and #mineblr are for minecraft content. this is anything from modded, to builds, to OCs, to art. it's about the game at its core.
if you post about minecraft content creation, please do not post in these tags. please. you have your own selection of tags to post in — mcyt i believe is an umbrella category for all minecraft content creation, and sub tags, like creator names and actual SMPs exist also.
they are, at the end of the day, two different fandoms with different sub-fandoms, and mcyt is bigger and louder and (sorry) more annoying. if you're a twitter/reddit refugee and genuinely didn't know this, fair! please just cut the tags out. if you just don't care about it and want more reach you're a dick, and if it's something you've forgotten about then please start doing it again <3
i realise it's maybe hypocritical of me to put this in your tags btw but it's you guys i'm talking to. so.
this is what drove me and many other people out of mineblr and y'know. it's got to the point where minecraft is no longer an umbrella tag, but a completely different fandom, and i'd appreciate if people would treat it as such!
and then there's the even deeper rabbit hole of the fact that some mcyt content is. eh. uncomfortable. and there's people who post shipping content in mcyt and you guys get annoyed! because it's completely different content! and it's the same thing here — we don't care about mcyt because it's not relevant.
keep them separate, please. and if you're posting to minecraft because it's a big tag with more exposure then your brain has been fried by twitter and you sound insufferable
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fangirl-dot-com · 11 months ago
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Chapter 16.5 - Confessions and Cars 2
I thought I'd post this as a "I'm sorry" chapter lol and I felt like you readers needed some closure.
While writing this, I also realized that I do not know how to write a kiss (due to my non-existent love life)...so if someone has suggestions - I'd gladly take them :D
TAG LIST IS CLOSED
If Arthur thought that visiting you last November before you signed a Red Bull contract would somehow end up with you in his arms, he wouldn’t change anything. Back then, you had been his best friend. And, well, you were still his best friend, but he was hoping that soon (like tonight) you’d be more. 
The end credits of Cars 2 played on the tv in the dark room. Most of the drivers (including but not limited to Lando, Oscar, Lewis, Daniel, Pierre, Charles, and Max) – maybe all of the drivers, who had come to visit you after your release from the hospital, had all left by now. A completed Lego Porsche 9-11 sat on the little counter by the basic coffee machine. 
Now, it was just you, whose eyes were slowly drooping, and Arthur, who hadn’t been able to take his arms off of you since you got to the hospital in the first place.
Arthur, who had held you hand as the doctor put an IV in, because he knew your fear of needles. 
Arthur, who had extra hair ties on his wrist, because he knew you hated to have your hair on your neck right after races, no matter what. 
Arthur, who had called ahead to the front desk to specifically ask for a copy of Cars 2 be delivered to the room.
Arthur, who ubered your exact McDonalds order because you mentioned the craving once while you were still under some strong pain medication. 
Arthur, who was your best friend, but you honestly wanted to be some more. 
Your brain had been running a million miles since your car flipped into the barriers. 
“Are you ready to go to bed yet?” 
But his voice, was able to stop all thoughts. 
You only let out a sigh in response. Arthur didn’t want to rush you, so he just picked the remote up and started your comfort movie over again. 
Yet, you didn’t want to watch the entire thing over again. 
“I was scared.” 
Arthur immediately paused the movie, but kept his eyes in front. 
“I watched the sky cross the opening. And then it just, hurt.” 
His arms tightened around you. Yet, it wasn’t painful. 
“I blacked out for a while. And then when I woke up, all I heard,” you turned to look at the boy in your arms, “was you, calling for me.” 
Tears started forming in both yours and Arthur’s eyes. You shuffled a bit closer to him, getting even closer. 
Arthur took a deep breath. 
Hours before, he was ready to confess it all once you had gotten your first place trophy. He had it all planned out. But then, his world stopped the moment your back tyre clipped the first kerb and then you rolled. 
“Y/n,” he started. This time, his eyes met yours. The TV forgotten in the background. In this moment, Arthur was glad that everyone else had left. 
You waited with baited breath, urging him silently to continue. 
“Well, I had this big plan, for after your race. And now, sitting here, I just know one thing and one thing only.” 
You cocked your head in confusion. Yet, your heart was wanting him to speak the once sentence you’ve wanted to hear for forever. 
“I love you. And when you didn’t respond,” he took your hands in his, “I wanted to die. And I know that might sound extreme, but at that moment, I knew I didn’t want a life without you in it. I also know that we’ve only known each other for a little more than a year but…” 
You decided to interrupt him. “You’ve been my best friend for the majority of that year.” 
He nodded with you, heart a bit dejected since you hadn’t confessed right after. 
“I’ve never had a best friend, before you. And, I also couldn’t imagine a life without you. And Thur…” 
He didn’t let you finish. 
His lips met yours in a fervent kiss. You had to take a second to reel in your thoughts, but you kissed back. Because in this moment, you didn’t want anything to change. A large exhale left your nose. 
You were hungry for a race win. 
Arthur was hungry for your love. 
His hands moved from holding yours to gripping your sides. And well, in true Arthur fashion, he gripped a bit too hard as a hiss left your lips. 
His wide eyes looked right at your with concern. “I am so sorry.” 
And before he could start to ramble in broken French, you pecked his lips. Well, that shut him up. 
“It’s ok,” you whispered, trying to convince him. “And I love you too. Maybe a bit too much.” 
Arthur sighed in relief and pressed his forehead against yours. “You do not know how happy that makes me to hear.” His words were a bit jumbled and his accent was heavy, but you got the gist. 
“What now?” 
Maybe it was your fears and doubts, but if this changed things, you’d rather not continue. Because you’d rather be best friends than lose him. 
Arthur shut his eyes, smiles, and cocked his head. “I was hoping you’d be my girlfriend.” He gave you another sweet kiss, one that you reciprocated with a smile. 
“Well then,” another kiss, “ask me.” A smirk replaced the smile. 
Arthur leaned back and took your hands back into his and sat up straight. “Y/n?” 
You let out a giggle. 
“Will you be my girlfriend?” 
You quickly pressed up against his face. Not in a kiss sense way. More like, you missed and just smashed your face against him. He tried to keep you upwards, but you pushed him down and fell on top of him. Another hiss left your lips, but a laugh covered it. You gently rested your head on his chest as your attention was back to the movie. 
“Yes. I will be your girlfriend Mr. Leclerc.”
Arthur just let you snuggle back into him as he played the movie for a second time. Just as Mater was about to be reunited with Lightning McQueen, a thought suddenly crossed your mind. 
“What are we going to tell Max?”   
April 9, 2024
y/n.89 has posted
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y/n.89 through it all, nobody gets me like you do
liked by y/n.nation, f1_fanatic, olliebearman, and 59,294 others
b0x_b0x UM GOOD MORNING? NOT EVEN A HELLO?
maxiel_lover babe, wake up, y/n just did a soft launch
y/n_nation Arthur isn't in the likes...
y/nxarthur I fear this is the end of the friendship?? y/n-on_top why would it be the end... y/nxarthur who knows, Arthur always likes her stuff and comments. maybe he doesn't like the boyfriend
oscarpiastri rue, when was this?
mcLaren_fan even Oscar doesn't know? logansargeant get in line of who doesn't know
olliebearman mother?? pick up your phone please
maxverstappen1 what the kid said, pick the phone up
box_box_official and the plot thickens
change_ur_f-car y/n not picking up her phone and Arthur isn't in the likes, what is this silly season?????
Big Racer
It's Arthur Isn't it??
Little Racer
who snitched
Big Racer
Kid, he looks at you like you hung the sun It doesn't take much sleuthing to find out
Little Racer
Please don't tell It's so new And I don't want to risk it
Big Racer
My lips are sealed But I do have one question Do I need to give you the talk?
Little Racer
MAX!?
TAG LIST: @fionaschicken @glitterquadricorn @laura-naruto-fan1998 @treehouse-mouse @sam-is-lost @kagatinkita @fangirl125reader @megatrilss1885 @myxticmoon @angsthology @cmleitora @agent-curt-mega @graciewrote @ashy-kit @slutofmultifandom @aexitizen-ln4 @sugarvibez @vellicora @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @cashtons-wife @hoetel-manager @xcharlottemikaelsonx @jayda12 @cassie0sstuff @ilove-tswizzle @justme2042 @itsjustkhaos @nikfigueiredo @stopeatread @cha-hot @sadg3 @iloveyou3000morgan @s4turnsl0ver @alessioayla @torchbearerkyle @leptitlu @awekbachira @shreks-sugar-daddy @v1naco @stan-josie @mellowarcadefun @badassturtle13 @beskardroids @callisposts @poppyalice2001 @juniper-july19
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firelxdykatara · 9 months ago
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I too ship Zutara and think they should have been canon. Although for me it's important to know how such a rewrite would go down. I tried to think, and I'm lost.
After Mai betrayed Azula for him, will he just go "sorry, not interested"? He isn't obligated to date her because of this, but her redemption hinges on Zuko and I don't see it being satisfying if he ends up rejecting her after this.
I thought the solution would be to rewrite her arc in boiling rock to make her have a moral realization, but then the problem with Maiko is practically solved. Their relationship wasn't salvaged by her redemption because last time they talked, Mai still didn't understand what's wrong with the Fire Nation and only changed because she loved Zuko. So how do you make it both satisfying & logical?
With Kataang the problem is the Chakras. The problem with the original (in my opinion) is that after he opened his chakra, letting go of his attachment to Katara, he's still attached (forcing a kiss on eip). Should TCoD get rewritten so that Azula shoots him before he opens it? Then why wouldn't he just open it later? Maybe the chakra would be locked so he feels as though he doesn't need to overcome his attachment just yet. In that situation, how would his chakra even unlock? The stone thing felt like nonsense, so how would I do it?
So yeah I have no idea how to approach this. How would you? (Thanks)
I've been rotating this ask in the back of my head like a rotisserie chicken for a few days--it's interesting because I don't generally stop to think like, how would I write them out of these relationships, I either ignore the relationships completely (which isn't hard, they were barely footnotes in the cartoon) or play a little bit with jealous exes or something. Thinking about like, In A Perfect World where Bryke wasn't in charge of ATLA post-canon (because if zutara had been canon, you can be sure they would've made us regret it) is interesting, and I do have thoughts on how I'd handle their relationships in a rewrite.
(this got long, so the rest is beneath the cut)
Assuming you mostly want to keep canon intact, I think maiko would be the easiest to work around, given how little relevance their relationship has in canon. The problem with maiko as an endgame ship is that it was not set up that way--if it had been, it would not have begun entirely off-screen and their whole relationship would not have been a study in misery and utter inability to connect emotionally. His relationship with Mai was there to showcase just how much he had changed and how little he fit into the life he had been so sure he wanted more than anything since his banishment. It worked very well to highlight Zuko's growth--how that contrasted to Mai's lack of it and why she could not understand him even at his most open and vulnerable--and did not work nearly so well when she was shoved back with him in the epilogue, after he'd quite literally forgotten her existence (he never mentions her again after Boiling Rock, not even to say a word of mourning, considering he'd have every reason to believe she was killed for defying his sister).
I don't think you can fix this by giving Mai some moral realization, because there simply is no room for it. As @araeph says in the essay I linked:
As a character, Mai is very useful to the story during Zuko’s return, because she represents everything that Zuko gains by sticking by his father. A girl who cares about him; the ability to indulge her; the authority he has over others at the palace; we see it all in his interactions with Mai. But this makes Mai a tether to a life he has long outgrown. Her function is not to advance Zuko’s character development, but to obstruct it, which also unfortunately means that Mai gaining a full understanding of Zuko’s trials would be disadvantageous to the story. If she knew everything about him and still wanted him to stay, it would give Zuko more cause than he should have to remain in the Fire Nation, but if she knew and encouraged him to leave and join the Avatar, it would rob Zuko of the triumph of making this decision on his own. In other words, there are good narrative reasons for keeping Mai in the dark; it just doesn’t make their relationship any stronger.
The seeds of a genuine redemption arc (one that includes some sort of moral realization and change to her moral framework) for Mai would have to have been planted far earlier than five episodes from the end of the series, but doing so would have of necessity detracted from Zuko's own character arc and the realizations that he makes despite his attachment to Mai (or more specifically to their relationship, which I feel like he was clinging to more out of a sense of abject loneliness he couldn't shake rather than genuine feelings and emotional connection).
So, in my mind, since we're tackling this with an eye towards getting rid of maiko with the fewest ripples to the overall story anyway, the easiest way to do this would be make one slight change to the end of the Boiling Rock two-parter--have Ty Lee (who had always been the least gung-ho of the trio about bowing to Azula's whims and had to be textually threatened into joining her in the first place) save Zuko's life, and then have Mai (who showed the most genuine affection for Ty Lee anyway) save Ty Lee. I love Zuko more than I fear you always fell flat for me as some epic declaration of love, anyway, since a) Zuko is not around to hear it, and b) unlike Ty Lee, she never showed much fear of Azula to begin with, so it wasn't a very high bar to clear. It was a cool line that was entirely unearned, and I don't think it would be missed, there would be some cute mailee crumbs this way, and a throwaway line of getting them released from the prison after the war ended could wrap up their presence in the story pretty nicely.
Now, kataang is a little trickier, if only because the last leg of Aang's character arc is almost completely derailed by his refusal to let go of his possessive attachment to Katara, to the point where he never naturally reopens his chakras, he has to have the Rock of Destiny hit him in just the right place, and the deus ex lionturtle there to give him a way out of having to make a hard moral choice. (I've maintained for years that if you work the final act of your main character's overall arc in such a way that it could have been solved by one good session with a chiropractor, something got fucked along the way.)
The thing about Aang's chakras is that, narratively, his whole thing with Guru Pathik and leaving his training early to save his friends was basically his version of Luke running away from his training with Yoda on Degobah because of his Force vision, only to find out that his friends were in the process of rescuing themselves and then losing his hand because he hadn't completed the most crucial part of his training. What's missing, therefore, from the last act of Aang's character arc, is the return.
See, in Star Wars, Luke pretty explicitly makes the wrong choice when he chooses to prioritize saving his friends over attaining enlightenment and fully mastering the Force. It was the only choice he could have made, but it was still the wrong one--because, like Aang, his friends did not actually need him to save them, he actually almost makes it harder for them to get away by requiring them to save him because, like Aang, he loses a battle in a very critical way. This was a lesson he desperately needed to learn, and it is clear he has learned it by the time he makes it back to Degobah and witnesses the end of Yoda's life, his own enlightenment having already been reached.
But Aang never goes back to the Guru.
And the text refuses to allow us to sit with the fact that he made the wrong choice in prioritizing his attachment to Katara over his ability to master the Avatar State. He is actually narratively vindicated about it, because the plot bends itself into a pretzel so that he doesn't have to spend any time during the last book trying to reopen his chakras and regain access to the Avatar State, handed both in the final battle with no excess effort on his part, and handed the girl into the bargain. (The girl who never even wanted him, so far as we can tell from all the lack of cues she gave him that she actually returned his feelings.)
And I think this could have been solved with a few scattered scenes. Let Katara actually have some agency in her own romantic relationship (or lack thereof), insofar as noticing Aang's advances and clueing the audience in to how she actually feels. Let Aang struggle with the fact that he can't reach the Avatar State, that his mastery of the elements is in limbo because he can't access his full power, rather than ignoring all of this until the end of the show. If we're trying to keep the shape of the last season roughly the same, let Katara confront Aang about the invasion kiss.
This would have been the perfect time to establish that Katara actually does feel some type of way about Aang prior to the epilogue, and it could have saved us from the exceedingly cringey EIP kiss that Aang never apologized for. How it comes across now, of course, is that Katara basically pretends it never even happened, to the point where she doesn't even know what Aang is talking about during EIP until he reminds her--the death knell for any shot their relationship had at looking requited, because I can tell you, as someone who's been a teenage girl, if someone I had conflicted but burgeoning romantic feelings for had kissed me, I would not have completely forgotten about it only a few weeks later--and we never get any indication as to what she actually felt about the kiss (which was not mutual, despite what Aang's dialogue in the EIP scene implies) except for the fact that she looked away and frowned afterwards. (A change mandated by Bryke, who wanted to leave her feelings completely ambiguous; the original storyboards had her smiling to herself.)
So, with an eye towards wrapping up Aang's puppy love crush and establishing Katara's distinct lack of romantic feelings for him, have her talk to him about the kiss. A good frame of reference for this would be Meng's conversation with Aang in "The Fortuneteller", where she finally realizes that he doesn't like her in the same way she likes him. Katara and Aang's conversation about the invasion kiss could be a callback to this, with Aang having some important realizations--that just because Katara doesn't share his feelings doesn't mean she loves him any less, and just because he can't have her the way he wanted doesn't mean he has to love her any less, that she doesn't belong to him but that's ok, because she's still his family and they'll always have each other's backs. Which could have functioned well in helping him take another step towards unblocking his chakras. Going back to the Guru directly may not have worked, since by this point in the story we're hurtling towards the final confrontation and Sozin's Comet, but let Aang reflect on what the Guru told him with new understanding granted him by his experiences throughout the first half of the season.
To keep the stakes high and up the suspense, obviously, he shouldn't have fully unlocked his chakras and the AS before the final fight, but the seeds could be planted--little moments like a talk with Katara about the invasion kiss, maybe a little more empathy and understanding from him about why Katara needs closure in TSR, etc--and then, during the final fight, rather than hand him all the answers on a silver platter, have him almost lose. He still can't go full Avatar, he's out of time, he still doesn't know exactly what to do about Ozai given his own pacifism and desire to preserve that part of his culture--he tries to fight but he's pretty quickly overpowered. Idk how I would've animated this, and maybe it wouldn't have looked as cool for the final fight, but the true climax of the finale was the Zuko and Azula agni kai anyway, so it hardly matters--I'm picturing him doing the rock-shield thing and going into a brief meditative state, where he finally achieves the enlightenment necessary to unlock the AS on his own, no rock of chiropracty necessary. And at this point, I'd give Ozai a Disney Death, since leaving him alive causes more problems than it solves and it's not necessary for Aang to kill him for him to die--they're fighting on a mountain ffs--but if you don't want to change that part then him figuring out energy bending as part of becoming a fully realized Avatar would at least feel more earned than the lionturtle just handing it to him. (And that could've been foreshadowed better by seeding the idea for it earlier in the season.)
After all of that, particularly if you up the emotions during the agni kai and have Zuko and Katara kiss there (or something less explicitly romantic but still tender, like a brief forehead touch), it'd feel pretty natural to have a just friends ending for Aang and Katara. Maybe a brief, slightly awkward but ultimately amiable conversation if Zuko and Katara had a ~thing at their final fight, and then the final shot of the series could be the gaang all together, maybe zutara holding hands or Katara resting her head on his shoulder or something, but since they already kissed there wouldn't feel like a need to end the whole show on romance, something which I've always felt missed the point of the series.
And then, y'know, after that, the world's your oyster! This is how I'd do it if I were trying to keep the bulk of the final season intact. Of course, breaking it all down to its component pieces and rebuilding from the ground up is also an option, but that'd probably be a longer post lol.
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solarsleepless · 10 months ago
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OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE HOLY SHIT MY GOD . OH MY GOD. THANK YOU RANDOM CITIZEN. HOLY SHIT
if somebody doesn't recreate the "you kissed me" "yeas..." "its okay i am lesbo" "you better be!" meme with trimberly istg ill do it myself
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bedoballoons · 10 months ago
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─⊰⁠⊹ฺ❄️����𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ❄️
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{༻~How do I escape this now~༺}
CW: Angst to fluff, Gn! Reader whos comfort language is physical, reader is mentioned to have anxiety and depression! Very slight mention of a panick attack in Tighnaris.
A/n: This is completely self indulgent, it's been so long since I've written anything and posted it so this is a little short. Just a little comfort for a mentally struggling reader, in case anyone else has been feeling this way too. You're not alone okay and I hope you feel better soon, you're amazing and no one should say otherwise. If you ever need someone to listen, I'm here. <3
(Includes: Lyney, and Tighnari)
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𑁍༄Lyney:
You pulled yourself into a tighter ball, making it harder to breath even though it was already a struggle...you could feel the area under you head, wet with tears that clung to your face...what was happening. When had things started to hurt so bad...when had your mind started to think the way it did now, you shut your eyes tighter, wishing you just didn't exist...that everything you'd ever said could just be forgotten, there would be no stress anymore and no more hiding under the blankets so no one would see you upset.
"My love..."
You audibly sucked in a breath, like being silent would make him think you weren't there...you didnt want him to see you like this...you didnt want him to worry...to feel like he had to help you even though he had other things to do. "I'm okay, just taking a nap Lyney. Super tired..." You tried, but the rasp in your voice and the sad tone in your words instantly gave you away.
You heard him sigh and listened as his footsteps grew closer...until suddenly you felt his weight all around you. He'd hugged you along with the blanket and just, held you like that. Never forcing you to talk or show your puffy eyes and sniffly nose. Never forcing you out of the room or to try harder to be happier, just held you comfortingly until you moved. It helped...infact it didn't take long for you to calm down after that, tell him how you were feeling and let him help you...let him tell you you're beautiful and that he loves you. Let him listen to everything because he simply wanted to...let him in and never have to face everything alone again.
𑁍༄Tighnari:
How long had you been in his arms...minutes? Hours? Days? You had no idea...you'd lost track in seconds, but honestly...it didn't matter anyway. You just needed a little more, just needed to hear the soft hum in his voice a little longer...just needed to feel the gentle circles he rubbed into your back a little longer...was that selfish...were you annoying him...should you put on that tough face you always wore and say you felt better...even when you didn't?
"I...I'm feeling better Tighnari, I'll-"
"Mhmm, you know I can hear your heart rate speed up when you're lying right? You don't have to lie lovely...I'm not going anywhere...and there's no where I'd rather be then with you, helping you feel better...calm down after the hundreds of near panick attacks you almost had today. The only thing I want is to see you happy and I mean really happy, not pretend happy..." He pulled away from you slightly so he could place a light kiss on your puffy cheek...
It was hard, to accept his words...to think he truly wanted to be there with you even when you were at your worst, but even as you once again rested your head on him and let your emotions all out...he didn't dare move. He wouldn't, not until you truly felt like you could face the world again...and it only reinstilled that faith that he'd never leave you to handle everything all alone. You'd always have him. No matter what.
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ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚~Love you all~*⁠.⁠✧
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thankssteveditko · 11 months ago
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Sony's PlayStation 5 Presents Insomniac's Marvel's Spider-Man 2 (the third game in the series)
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I beat the main story and have enjoyed my time with the game overall! I want to talk about spoilers and things that I liked and disliked in the story, so here's a post with some scattered thoughts.
(Hello! I haven't forgotten that this blog exists! Like I said, no update schedule, I will read more of the Lee/Ditko comics whenever I make time for it. I've actually been sitting on a mostly-complete version of this post since I beat the game in October, thinking that I'd finish the rest of the side quests so I could throw in thoughts on those. But... eh, I'll do that whenever the inevitable DLC rolls around. I just wanna get these thoughts posted.)
Spider-Cop No More
First off: they downplayed the cop shit!!! This was the first thing that really struck me about the game, and I'm stunned that they actually listened to criticism on this. I thought we'd just be stuck with it forever.
It'll never be completely gone, of course. Spider-Man is always going to leave criminals webbed up for the police to take to prison, hoping that they'll do their time and come out the other side as Productive Members of Society. That's just a thing I begrudgingly accept as part of the genre that will probably never go away. But Spider-Man is no longer repairing police surveillance networks. You're no longer beating the shit out of random drug dealers. Gangs of escaped convicts still wearing their orange jumpsuits are no longer terrorizing the streets of New York.
Instead, Peter and Miles are played more as firefighters. Sometimes very literally! They work with firefighters, they rescue people from collapsing buildings, they rush injured people to the hospital. In general there's a huge increase in the number of random onlookers present during the big action setpieces, and the Spider-Men frequently have to save them from harm. One of the major side quest lines is even literally about a cult of arsonists, and you'll routinely find burning fuel tanker trucks you have to extinguish with your webs. It's great! Love this for them.
I also generally liked the side missions in this. There's a lot of good stuff with the Spider-Men being neighborhood heroes willing to help out anyone in need, no matter the problem. Some of them can get corny, sure, but that street level stuff has always been the real heart of Spider-Man to me.
Gameplay
The gameplay's as fun as ever. That probably goes without saying. I will not be spending a thousand words explaining that swinging is fun.
In particular, I really liked the changes to the Focus mechanic. I never loved the way Miles' game made you choose between healing and doing your special attacks, but here your four specials have their own cooldowns, and the Focus meter is spent on either healing or finishers. It still offers that risk/reward element, but those vicious cycles where you can't do any real damage because you keep needing to heal aren't nearly as bad as they were before.
Personally I didn't turn off the swing assist or turn on fall damage, because the streamlined swinging never bothered me in these games, but I'm glad the options are there for people who want them.
Kraven
I liked Kraven in this! I liked the way they leaned into his Hunters being this weird death cult, and him wanting to go down in a blaze of glory against a worthy foe, to the point that he's actually disappointed anytime a foe can't kill him. It riffs on things people liked in Kraven's Last Hunt without being the exact same story. I like that Kraven's gang is renting out this manor or whatever and just being a complete terror to the wait staff. I liked the way Kraven hunting Peter's rogues' gallery clashed with Peter's belief in giving his villains second chances. I liked that they were willing to have Kraven kill off a couple of the minor villains from the first game to sell how dangerous he is. (I know some people hated this, but like, come on. We already fought the Sinister Six. They don't need to do that again.) I like the way Kraven pushed Peter to the absolute brink, turning him more and more aggressive with the Black Suit. Good stuff all around, even if the Hunter enemy types did wear out their welcome a little bit by the end.
The Black Suit arc
I think I liked the way Insomniac handled Peter's Black Suit arc overall, but there's a tradeoff here.
They REALLY lean into the body horror tentacle stuff, with Black Suit Peter basically just being a skinny Venom by the end. The sequence where you play as Mary Jane while the symbiote puppets an unconscious Peter's body around and goes on a rampage against the Hunters was REALLY great at selling how scary Peter is becoming, and it made me completely change my tune on the inclusion of the MJ stealth missions in the sequel. Having to beat an out-of-control Peter as Miles immediately after Peter beats Kraven was also really good. This is all cool!
BUT, the thing is... with the symbiote powers being so freaky from the start, it really pushes my suspension of disbelief when Peter and co. take so long to become wary of it. I guess when you've been bitten by a radioactive spider and given superpowers, and when you live in the same universe as the Avengers and the X-Men, your perception of what's "normal" is going to be pretty warped. But they buy the whole "organic exosuit created to treat Harry's illness" story WAY too easily lmao. How do the self-aware slime tentacles help with his illness, exactly?
And I'm not sure how I feel about giving Peter Anti-Venom powers in the last act. It feels like it's primarily a concession so that they can give players that branch of their skill tree back, but honestly, the designer in me thinks it would be really cool (if risky) to just permanently lock players out of Peter's most powerful skills past a certain point. Yeah, it'd definitely piss people off, but it drives home the idea that Peter's given up greater power because it's the right thing to do. It'd put you in his shoes! Instead he just gets the symbiote powers back, but it's fine because the Venom voice in his head is gone and also the slime tendrils that explode out of his body are white now, which means they're good.
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I have to say it. I'm sorry. The glistening white goo... they turned Peter into the Amazing Cum-Man. I changed back to the Classic Suit after rolling the credits and forgot I still had the Anti-Venom skills equipped, so I just saw regular old Spider-Man exploding his white goo everywhere. Terrible.
Assuming Peter is just stepping into more of a supporting role to Miles and not fully retiring after the events of this game, I really hope the Anti-Venom stuff is gone. I get that he needed it to counter Venom, but that's not what I want for Peter Parker.
Miles
Miles is good in this, and I really like his arc where he struggles with whether or not he should avenge his dad by killing Martin Li. I like how all that plays out. Unfortunately, they don't quite stick the landing when it comes to making him and Peter feel like equals in terms of narrative focus. His arc is definitely the B-plot to Peter's for the middle chunk of the story, which I guess was kind of inevitable since they decided to do the Black Suit arc. But Miles does at least get a lot of moments to shine, and by the end he's very much taking the lead as the main Spider-Man.
Becoming the main Spider-Man also gets Miles a new, wholly original suit that ended up being super controversial, and honestly... I kinda like it? Or at least I like what it's going for, even if the actual design could still use some work. It's something totally unique for Miles, and I like spandex/streetwear combo suits like what the Spider-Verse movies have popularized. But showing his hair is really pushing the limits of his secret identity. He hangs around Brooklyn Visions WAY too much for his classmates to not recognize his voice and haircut. And I understand why people would be wary about it becoming his "canon" look moving forward. But I think it's got potential.
On the subject of Miles, though, I will say that while I liked Miles' side missions, it feels like he's often saddled with the game's broad, kinda touristy, kinda token attempts at Showcasing The Diversity Of New York, in a way that Peter isn't.
I like that Miles has a deaf graffiti artist girlfriend that he and Ganke sign with, and I like that there's a series of side missions that explore some local jazz history, and I like that there's a mission where Miles helps a gay classmate ask his crush to prom. I like all these things! I like Spider-Man being involved with his community, and that said community includes such a wide variety of people! I like that this game slows down to savor these types of moments instead of just being all action all the time! But when I step back, I notice some patterns.
Hailey doesn't have a big role in the main plot, especially when compared to MJ, but Miles gets a side mission where you briefly play as her with muffled audio to teach you what being deaf is like. There are no major queer characters in the story - unless you count Felicia showing up for exactly one mission to mention she has an unseen, unnamed girlfriend in Paris now - but you get a side mission where Miles helps out a gay couple at his school, who then never come up again. To put it very uncharitably, they can feel like Very Special Episode missions. It's like the devs going: we're going to give Miles a Gay Mission, and an Impaired Hearing Mission, and a Cultural History Mission, so that we can say we touched on these things, but we're gonna make them all optional and keep them far away from the full-blown Superhero Stuff like fighting costumed villains. Those flavors cannot mix. Meanwhile, Peter gets to have a whole elaborate subplot about teaming up with Wraith to track down fucking Cletus Kasady. There's an imbalance here, and I think it's part of the reason why Peter still feels like the "main" Spider-Man for so much of the story.
I think this was all written with admirable intentions, but as others have pointed out, you can kinda tell that this game was mainly written by some white guys based in California. These attempts at depicting various marginalized groups can feel kind of detached in the same way that Insomniac's map of New York doesn't quite line up with the real thing. But I dunno. I'm not really the one to dig deep into some of this stuff as a white woman from Florida. I would be curious to read others' takes on this.
Maybe I'm just being overly cynical about the writers' well-meaning but corny and kinda out of touch liberal politics because of the podcasts.
The podcasters
I wish Jameson was in this more! They psyched us out by giving him a full character model for, like, two scenes. I like him being MJ's boss, but I wish we saw inside the Daily Bugle offices to get more Jameson.
At least his podcasts are better than the ones in the Miles game, though. Him completely trusting in Roxxon was just too much for me. Here he condemns Oscorp for the symbiote shit, and he also gets some moments where he takes the ongoing crises seriously and isn't just ranting about the Spider-Men. He isn't just a conspiracy theorist crackpot here. Shit like his "fuck Spider-Man, we have a justice system for a reason" speech makes him feel more like a human being with a point of view, rather than just a caricature. Definitely an improvement.
Unfortunately, I still find The Danikast grating. I'm sorry, Ashly Burch. It's not your fault. The quirky heckin' wholesome millennial podcaster lady who catches you up on current events and then reminds you to drink 64 ounces of water a day in the same breath is just too much for me. At least she doesn't have any lines as bad as her throwing in a "damn" and then going (direct quote here) "That's right - no censoring! That's how REAL I'm being right now!" like in Miles' game. Instead they give her this, like, almost psychic insight into the main plot to try and make her the angel on Peter's shoulder. The second Peter gets the symbiote she's like "Wow, y'all. Have you seen Spider-Man's new black suit? Something's different about him. He's been giving me such bad vibes lately. #NotMySpiderMan" Also she's supposed to be this, like, underdog independent podcaster who started her show on a whim and has become the voice of the people... but she's got billboards plastered all over the fucking city. Which makes her feel like an industry plant lmao
Again, there's a detachment with the writing. This is, like, some middle aged white liberal game dev guys' idea of what a modern leftist teenager would think is a Cool Activism Podcast. Unfortunately, because Insomniac thinks Danika's a hero, Mary Jane's triumphant ending is that she quits her job at the Bugle to become a podcaster, too, delivering a thinly veiled monologue about the pandemic to kick off her new podcast literally titled "The New Normal." She's going to save the world with podcasting, because that's the highest form of activism, I guess.
Venom
So! Venom! Venom was... okay.
Surprising no one, Harry Osborn is Venom. Harry's okay both as himself and as Venom, but I'm not sure his arc is a smooth one. He starts out as Peter's comically perfect best friend who returns to reminisce about the good ol' days and hand him his dream job on a silver platter, and then later he becomes a little ball of rage over the fact that Peter gets his symbiote and can't/won't give it back. I'm not sure that pivot is handled the most convincingly. You kind of have to write it off as the symbiote messing with their heads, I guess.
When he actually becomes Venom, I'm... mixed on the execution. On the one hand, the cool factor is absolutely there. He's a very cool big monster, and Tony Todd is great in the role. But he also wants to take over the world and make everyone a symbiote, and aside from any lingering resentment towards Peter, that's really all there is to him. It makes for a good video game to have a bunch of symbiote enemies and creepy symbiote nests and symbiote tentacles climbing up the sides of buildings in the last act... but is that really what I want out of Venom? Probably not. But he sure does look cool as a big monster guy to fight, and I was happy he was briefly playable.
Suits
Part of me feels like there's something lacking about the suit selection here, but almost every suit I liked in the previous games is back, and also I'm the type of person to give Peter the Classic Suit the second I unlock it and use that for most of the game. So does it really matter for me?
Peter's selection feels dominated by the various live action movie suits, but I get that those are going to be some of the suits people want to wear the most. I wish he had the Peter B. Parker skin to go with Miles' Spider-Verse alts, though. No idea why it's missing. Really I think I mainly just want more of the Spider-Verse designs.
Also I've complained about how most of the original suits designed for these games make Peter and Miles look like they were bitten by radioactive Alienware products, but I can just, you know. Wear other suits.
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Misc thoughts
Everyone's already made this joke, but it's extremely funny that the Avengers didn't help with the symbiote invasion. Took one look at that and decided it wasn't their problem
On the subject of other superheroes, I do wish these games would acknowledge the Fantastic Four more. Peter's close relationship with that team feels woefully underutilized in his various adaptations
I like the trope of a boss fight that's a heightened version of a personal conflict between two people who are close, where throughout the fight the boss is airing out their grievances while the hero tries to get through to them emotionally. That especially works for Spider-Man! But WOW has Insomniac played that card a lot of times by the end of Spider-Man 2 lol
They're teasing the addition of Silk, I guess? I'm gonna be honest, I don't know shit about Silk, but I guess it was inevitable that they'd give us some form of Spider-Woman at some point. Gotta work all those costumes in somehow, and they're not brave enough to let one of the boys cosplay as Spider-Gwen.
They WERE, however, brave enough to let Harry say he loves Peter. I liked that little moment. They presumably meant it platonically, but clearly ol' Yaoi Lowenthal knows what's up
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Post-leak addendum
So, obviously, by the time I got around to finishing this post the big Insomniac leak happened. I wish the game industry wasn't so secretive that it took a massive, dangerous data breach just to get our hands on some very basic info that would be public knowledge if Insomniac was a film studio, but here we are.
We now know that Insomniac spent somewhere around $315 million making Spider-Man 2 - triple what the first Spider-Man game cost to make. A quote about this from a leaked presentation has been stuck in my head ever since I first saw it on Twitter. “Is 3x the investment in [Spider-Man 2] evident to anyone who plays the game?”
To be honest, I'm not sure it is.
I liked Spider-Man 2, but I'd probably say that overall I liked it about as much as the first game. It's certainly a somewhat bigger game, with marginally more realistic looking graphics thanks to the power of the PS5. But I think I could do without ray tracing and more realistic hair rendering and whatnot if it meant that these games didn't take like five years and hundreds of millions of dollars to make. I could not give less of a shit if the swinging animations were recycled between games. I'd be fine with them being shorter, too.
I like these games, but as we look at that leaked project lineup and realize that Insomniac is turning into The Marvel Game Studio, I think about how many smaller, more original games that those resources could go towards if they scaled back the Marvel stuff just a bit. How many Ape Escapes or Patapons or Gravity Rushes could get made for the budget of just one of these massive AAA tentpole games of Sony's, which are apparently barely even breaking even? How many could be made for the budget of the "smaller, cheaper" Miles Morales game, which somehow cost $156 million to make despite using an updated version of the same Manhattan map from the first game? Hell, how many smaller games could have been made with the $39 million that went into remastering the first Spider-Man game for PS5 a mere two years after launch? How many people will lose their jobs if any one of Insomniac's upcoming Marvel games underperforms - which, in this case, could mean selling "only" 5 million copies? And would hardcore PlayStation fans even accept those smaller games at this point, now that they've been trained to only appreciate mega-budget Prestige Games with cutting edge graphics and treat everything else with disdain? How much worse will this get as the graphical arms race continues?
I think I just miss Japan Studio. Fuck Sony. Uhh but anyway the Spider-Man game this post was supposed to be about was good, some writing complaints aside. 8/10
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icaruspendragon · 10 months ago
Note
Hi! A while ago I saw one of your tiktoks about how northern democrats typically view people from Appalachia, and it really made me re-examine some biases I had and I deeply appreciated that. I'm from New Hampshire, and basically this primary season we were completely ignored by democratic candidates because of some issues with the DNC and our primary being labeled "unsanctioned". It was weird to not feel supported or valued by my party for the first time ever, (especially when NH tends to get a lot of attention) and it reminded me of your tiktok and how you mentioned that republicans tend to reach out to people in the south while democrats tend to ignore them as a lost cause. Because I saw that happening here with an insanly disproportionate republican presence in my state leading to the primaries. I know the comparisons aren't equal, but it helped drive home the message for me and gave me just a taste of what you explained so clearly in your tiktok. I understand if you choose not to post this, but I really wanted to thank you for opening my eyes and helping me face some biases I didn't know I had.
hello and thank you (for re-examining your biases and for writing me this message). i'm gonna use this as a chance to restate some of the things i mentioned in the video you're talking about.
i'd like to start this by saying i know appalachia and the south aren't perfect. there's racism and homophobia and bigotry. being someone who is marginalized or minoritized in appalachia/the south isn't always easy. but appalachia/the south doesn't have the monopoly on bigotry. america is rife with it. it's something marginalized folks all over the country have to face. and when northern dems act like racism and homophobia and bigotry are things that don't occur in their state simply because it's a blue state, they're doing an incredible disservice to the marginalized people that live in their communities who are facing the results of bigotry.
the folks living in appalachia/the south are heavily stereotyped as nothing more than ignorant backwood cousin fucking hillbillies, and while there are people that live here that fit that bill, appalachia/the south is not a monolith.
appalachia is region that spans from mississippi all the way to new york. the south (depending on who you ask) consists of 17 different states. and here's a little fun fact about the south for ya: according to the 2020 census, out of the 41.6 million black people that live in america, 38.9% of them live in the south.
so when that entire region is written off, forgotten about, and treated as a lost cause it's not the bigots that are being left behind; it's the marginalized people that live here that are being written off. the very same folks democrats and liberals love claiming they care about are the ones being left behind.
one of the reasons republicans have such a strong hold on appalachia/the south is because they put in the work to earn the trust of the voter. work that democrats just don't do. so of course republicans are gonna get the vote, they earned it.
other reasons for the stronghold existing (that people never wanna talk about for some reason) are: gerrymandering, voter suppression, lack of state funding that leads to lack of education, general lack of education, high poverty rates, lack of internet access. i could go on and on.
there are so many marginalized people that live in this region that are working themselves to the bone and trying their damndest to make appalachia/the south a better place for EVERYONE to live and when high falutin yankees act like every single person that lives here is the racist uncle you have to ignore at christmas, they are discrediting the work being done to try and change the region for the better.
allow me to say this again: when appalachia/the south is written off as nothing more than a home to bigots, it's not the bigots being written off, it's the people affected by bigotry.
there are people fighting to make these areas better. we are trying. so please, please stop writing us off.
we are not a lost cause.
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oneatlatime · 11 months ago
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The Guru
Happy 2024 everyone and welcome to the first time I managed to type 2024 without first typing 2023! Oh and also a write up of The Guru. That too.
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Me too Iroh. Me too.
So Zuko is riding high on that post-crisis 'time to get my life together' buzz that, similar to 3 am life plans, should absolutely not be listened to. Wonder how long before he crashes and burns? There's literally 2 episodes left, so I'm guessing one and a half?
Poor Sokka. My boy's got anxiety.
I don't know if it's a monk thing, an airbender thing, an Avatar thing, or an Aang thing, but I envy his complete lack of nerves.
How is Appa ok with them splitting up for a week after JUST getting them back?
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I paused in a funny place. Have bonk-eyed Appa.
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I love them comparing heights. What do you want to bet that that guy on the right was one of the youngest allowed to go fight, and Sokka made a big deal about how they're almost the same age and surely that means he can go too, right?
A lot of these Southern Water Tribe people have dreads or braids. That's neat.
Bato's arm is still messed up. That's some good continuity.
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I've found the source of Katara's cheek bones. I guess Sokka takes after his mum.
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Ok I know this is a really emotional moment (and it is! Sokka's spent two seasons earning this!) but my brain fixated on the furs and briefly thought they were sky bison pelts.
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"It's been a difficult week for me." This guy thinks the Kyoshi Warriors are there to provide him therapy. Someone please just crown the bear instead.
He just gave away literally every relevant plot point AND outlined how to make sure all these plot points don't succeed. Crown. The. Bear.
Maybe if these generals spent less time playing with their giant model Earth Kingdom and more time general-ing, the war wouldn't suck so much?
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Pretty.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE the designs, the colour palette, the music, the sound design of this air temple. I love everything about it. If I had the chance to live anywhere in the Avatar universe, it would be here. Even in its ruined state it's such a refreshing contrast to the claustrophobia of Ba Sing Se. I can feel the freshness of the breeze through the screen.
"A spiritual brother of your people" an adult perspective on a near extinct culture! What a resource!
"and a personal friend of Monk Gyatso" an old as balls perspective. He's got to be at least 130.
Anthropology cul de sac time: this guy is so valuable as a resource on the Air Nomads. There's probably parts of Air Nomad culture that Aang can't ever accurately talk about, because he was a kid when he left, and there was almost certainly stuff that the adults kept to themselves, or only shared with the older Air Nomads. This Guru doesn't seem to be an Air Nomad himself, but there's a good chance that there is knowledge that he has, that Aang doesn't. Aang should be nerding out more about this. I'll do the nerding out for him.
Aang just breezes right by that Gyatso name drop like it's nothing. Huh.
Oh hey Toph. I'd forgotten she was in a box. Tweedle dum and Tweedle dumber really are quite the pair. What's their plan for keeping her fed and watered? Actually, these guys apparently don't know that maps exist, so it's probably never occurred to them that humans need sustenance. They'll rock up to the Bei Fong estate with corpse Toph and wonder why they aren't getting the reward money.
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Mai gets called out in-universe for shopping at Hot Topic.
Ty Lee's buttering up of Azula is getting less and less subtle as the season progresses. It's a testament to Azula's lack of awareness that she's hasn't noticed that, and that Ty Lee can get away with it.
Azula's right that it's an extraordinary opportunity. The King gave them quite literally every piece of info required to overthrow his kingdom in a 25 second conversation. I can't blame her for taking advantage of such an easy win.
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That's a very effective unimpressed face. And a very impressive beard.
It's funny to see a spiritual concept from the real world pop up in a show that includes things like bending and giant fish possession. The mention of Chakras kind of sticks out. They couldn't invent a Avatar universe version?
"Once you begin this process, you cannot stop until all seven are open." Well that doesn't feel like foreshadowing at all.
This episode should be called "Aang's self-care Journey." It's about time the kid had a me day that wasn't avoidance-based.
Fear: Losing Katara - makes sense. Losing control of his powers via fish possession - makes sense. The Fire Lord - makes sense. But the Blue Spirit? He helped. Doesn't make sense.
Guilt: Running away - makes sense, although I thought he'd worked through that with Katara in the storm. Nuking that idiot General's base - makes sense, but boy did he quite literally ask for it.
This guru is saying some wonderfully accurate, and realistic, things. I love that he's not taking the Katara route of denying anything is wrong. He's going for the acknowledge, then heal route. And yes, it's unfair of me to compare the emotional maturity of Katara to a century+ old spiritual expert.
I'm going to ruin the immersion here and point out that Sokka's dad's voice actor voiced a bunch of characters in season 1. He's doing an excellent job, but couldn't they get a unique voice for a character that's so important (albeit offscreen) to Sokka?
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That's an incredibly roundabout way of avoiding pointing out that the Southern Water Tribe are active participants in a bloody war. Sure, we can show multiple characters with visible scarring from horrific burns, but heaven forbid we imply that the Southern Water Tribe sinks ships. The parameters for what is and isn't appropriate on this show sometimes make no sense.
"Aren't you listening? I said the rest of you men get ready for battle." He hasn't seen his boy in two years, but fifteen minutes in his company and he knows exactly what needs to be said and how. That's some top tier parenting. Dad of the year. Dad of the century. Only decent Dad in this show that isn't technically an uncle.
"Follow your passion Zuko, and life will reward you." Great advice for your eight year old audience. Also a great way to end up unemployed.
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Positive Sokka creeped me out a few episodes ago. Now positive Zuko is freaking me out too.
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Pretty.
Back to Chakras! Shame: Burning Katara - makes sense. But that's it? To have the inner peace of mind of a twelve year old who's somehow only ever done one thing that he's ashamed of.
Is there anyone in the earth kingdom who isn't stupid? Once again wondering at the network's standards. Visible burn injuries are fine, but Mai can't say 'Shut up." It's got to be Shush up. Although I do seem to recall of brief time in the early 2000s when Shut Up was treated as a curse on par with Shit or Fuck. Maybe that was just at my school.
Chakras again! Even for a show that often has an A, B, and C plot, this narrative is ping ponging around a bit much.
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Grief: nothing major, just a whole nation. Makes a horrific amount of sense. but I don't buy that he can get over grieving the whole world as he knew it by thinking about his crush. That's way too high a pedestal for Katara to be placed on.
Lies: Not accepting he's the Avatar. Interesting that not accepting that he's the Avatar and not accepting that he's a firebender are two different problems.
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I see you reusing the opening credits footage. Your blue filters can't fool me.
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PRETTY
Illusion: So we're relearning what we learned in The Swamp. Aang's probably the person currently alive least likely to believe in the rigid separation of the nations anyway. This doesn't feel like an illusion he's subject to?
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The way this episode dances between its narrative threads is so great. It's all woven in so beautifully. And this makes perfect sense! Toph's spent her life secretly doing things excellently that everyone says are completely beyond her capabilities. Life has taught her that the statement "you are not able to" doesn't apply. Of course immutable laws of bending physics are treated with the same respect as an adult telling the champion of the Earth Rumble that she's can't earthbend beyond breathing exercises. If you told her that humans can't fly, she'd figure out how within the week.
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Plot collision incoming.
Interesting that Katara initially recognises Zuko by his voice rather than his scar.
I'm pretty sure that Zuko and Iroh don't know about the whole brainwashing thing, but wouldn't it be hilarious if Zuko introduced himself to Katara as Joo Dee, and his uncle Joo Dee, welcome to the Jasmine Dragon, can I take your order? That would throw Katara into one hell of a moral quandary.
Katara being framed as the solution for Chakra number four comes back to bite Aang, as she's the problem in Chakra number seven. I knew that pedestal was too high.
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I've changed my mind. This episode should actually be called "Half a dozen reasons why everyone should just learn to keep their goddamn mouths shut already."
So is anyone going to let Zuko and Iroh know that they're now in immediate danger and need to leave, like, yesterday?
I think the Guru is going for the whole 'if you love them, let them go, and they'll come back to you' thing. Don't cling, in other words. But for the sake of the plot he's suddenly lost his ability to explain Chakras in a way that makes them seem like the logical thing to do. The only clunky bit of this episode so far.
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May I introduce you to our Lord and Saviour Toph?
"I am the greatest earthbender in the world." Yes. Yep. Yeah. That's now a quantifiable fact, and it's correct. Look on ye mighty and despair. She's even got Bumi beat.
Earth Tongue Running is a bit wonky looking but it covers a crazy amount of distance.
What's the range on Toph's earth sense? Can she sense what direction Ba Sing Se is?
I hope those two idiots' horse bird is ok.
"You don't know how much this means to me dad." He does. Very much so.
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Every word out of this guy's mouth is precision engineered to make Sokka feel like a million bucks and I for one think it's about time someone built him up. Also, seeing this makes me realise how few good parents there are in this show. It's a trope of kids' adventure shows that the parents fundamentally can't be there, but I also think it's a commentary on yet another thing that this war has messed up.
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Hey look! Being a man is knowing where you're needed the most, and right now that's in Ba Sing Se, protecting your sister! I love narratives that tie their themes up with a pretty bow on top.
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This is Azula laying a trap, right? Which means that Katara squealed to someone about the exact location of Iroh and Zuko's tea shop. Don't like the implications of that.
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Photos taken seconds before disaster.
Final Thoughts
This episode was a lot! I mean that in a good way! But I felt a bit like the Maxell Blown Away Guy, the way I kept getting assaulted by yet another plot thread. Don't get me wrong, this isn't a criticism. I think the switching between plot threads and the amount of info in this episode worked 99% of the time. But I'm kind of in awe at the balancing act the writers pulled off and I'm sort of sitting here blinking a bit trying to fit all this stuff in my head. I'm probably going to forget half the stuff I wanted to talk about in this write up, so here goes nothing.
Given the Azula reveal in at the end of last episode, I thought that this would be the episode where the shit hits the fan. I was wrong. I'm glad I was wrong. An episode of set up is required and is nice breathing room, even an episode as busy as this. And I got to leave Ba Sing Se! But this does mean that next episode is going to be calamity after calamity.
Aang and his Chakras: I'm fascinated by this guru. I hope he comes back. That brings the total number of people who were alive before the war started up to three: Aang, Bumi, Guru Patik.
I'm impressed that the run through of the Chakras rarely felt like an info dump. The onion and banana juice thing didn't work for me, but I'm sure it worked for people in the target age bracket. Kids love burp jokes.
So many shows sprinkle in tragic backstories for flavour and then never have them influence the character in the present. It was a nice contrast to see a show take a whole episode to tell Aang "yeah all that sucked. It's ok to feel down about it. Here's how you move forward."
Sokka and his dad: Love it. Love it so much. I love seeing Sokka built up, and he definitely deserves it, but I wonder if this is the reward for a character arc well done, or the set up for a character arc that's about to start? Is his dad's praise his prize for crossing the finish line, or is it so he's built up with farther to fall?
I loved seeing more of the Southern Water Tribe. I loved the fashion. There's a lot of variety in accessories and variations on a few basic elements like those knee guard things. I loved their hairstyles. I loved how cozy and communal that command tent felt. I loved their ships. I wonder how often these guys work out, that they can make loading ramps that are presumably deployed and stashed out of the way frequently, out of whole logs rather than planks. I have a bone to pick with the child-friendly sea mine. But it provides a good set up for a dad joke, so I'll let it slide.
Zuko and Iroh: Of course the one time Zuko is allowed to be in a good place, it's so that he and Iroh both have farther to fall when the inevitable happens. Poor guy just can't catch a break. I'd be mad at Azula for the party crashing that I'm assuming she'll do next episode, but it's been established that Zuko has all nice things taken away from him as soon as he gets them, and I can't blame Azula for being a tool of the universe.
Azula & Long Feng: Azula's acting in Long Feng's prison cell was miles ahead of what Long Feng was doing in front of the Earth King, so I'm wondering if Long Feng has bitten off more than he can chew. Also: conspiring with the enemy to bring down your own city just so you can reinstall yourself as the power behind the throne that will presumably cease to exist as soon as the Fire Nation takes control? That is both treasonous beyond description and an incredible case of shooting yourself in the foot. What's Long Feng's plan here?
Toph and the Dunderheads: it says something about the consistency of Toph's characterisation from her introduction onwards that she breaks the universe this episode and my reaction was "that's neat." It's obviously a huge moment, but of course Toph can do that. Toph can do anything. More importantly, Toph knows that Toph can do anything, so Toph routinely does do anything, especially things she shouldn't be able to do. If you had asked me a few episodes back which character would be most likely to fundamentally redefine bending, I would have said Toph, since she's already fundamentally redefined bending with her earth sense sonar vision.
Also Toph just breaks stuff. Things that come into contact with her cease to function as intended and instead function as Toph requires. Look at the two idiots: both successful business owners, one also a successful hoodwinker of the richest family around. But they come into contact with Toph and their brains take an extended vacation.
Katara & the Generals: this plot was more like an extension of Azula's plot than its own standalone thing. You can't blame her for spilling the news about Zuko and Iroh to someone she honestly thought was Suki. Not much else to say about it, although it's cute that she asks for a table for two at the tea shop. Momo gets a chair!
I like that there's a theme this episode of things going wrong despite the best intentions. No one's acting maliciously here apart from the Antagonists. The Earth King is having an honest chat with people he thought were friends. Sokka vouched for people he honestly thought were the Kyoshi Warriors. Katara shares information about a presumed threat with people she honestly thought were her allies. You can quibble with the wisdom of some of these decisions, but there were all done with good intentions. The best laid plans of mice and men oft go awry and all that. It brings to mind that Star Trek quote about how you can do everything right and still lose. And this set up is going to hit harder when whatever goes wrong next episode happens. And something will go wrong. A few months ago I figured that the Season 2 finale would be a triumph, but all signs are pointing towards a tragedy instead.
This episode was visually stunning, the soundtrack in the Air Temple sections especially was very evocative, and I applaud the minds that could juggle that many plot threads at once without dropping any. This one is definitely going on my rewatch list.
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vibratingskull · 5 months ago
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Hiiii I love your fics so much that I'm genuinely suffering from Yandere Thrawn Brainrot 😭 can I pretty please request Yandere Thrawn x fem reader where the reader is just accepting of his behaviour? like maybe she's a rebel who has been just abandoned by her friends so she just gives in because actually the attention he gives is really nice when she behaves or maybe she's one of the emperors daughters who is always kind of forgotten about in comparison to her sisters so Thrawns attitude isn't a red flag for her because he treats her so nice and has never once sidelined her or forgotten anything about her! I just think it's an interesting idea to play with like I'm sure Yandere Thrawn would be ecstatic to have a partner who doesn't bat an eye to his behaviour and soaks it up desperately, even the brothel fic you made could fit with Yandere Thrawn (look at how bad the brainrot is LMAOOOOO) ofc I'd have to request some smut in it like maybe he eats her out on his command chair 🤭 (that's all I can think about since the last Yandere thrawn AU you just posted haha make it as crazy as you want it to be tbh I love giving you full reign over this your smut is like high quality wine for me at this point!) Anyways! Before I get completely off track and send you a whole essay of ideas I just wanna say that I cheered when I saw your requests open and you don't have to write this idea or if you prefer to tweak it then that's absolutely fine! I hope you're doing amazing and I'm looking forward to your beautiful creations!!!
Yandere Thrawn is best boy, you cannot change my mind! He can be a murderous psycho or a complete puppy if you play your cards well. Aaaaaaaw thank you dear ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I'm really happy you like my silly stuffs, even the smutty ones (i'm so not confident about those), it will be a 2 parters !
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ThrawnxF!reader
Tags: Yandere behavior (duh), possessive, painting, meet cute
You sigh, sitting alone at the table. You make your drinks twirl in your glass, silently observing the ballroom. Your hand supporting your chin you look at the couples dancing, the lively discussions around the room, the laughs and smiles, the kisses exchanged behind closed doors, and the champagne flowing freely. 
You catch one of your sisters dancing with a suitor, a metal and gaz magnate infinitely rich, they have been glued to one another during the entire party. You turn your head to see another one leading a political discussion with her natural charm, they all laugh at her witty comebacks and believe every word she speaks like gospel. You turn again to see your third sister on the stage, singing softly a beautiful melody, admired by the rest of the audience. 
And then there is you... 
The fourth. 
The last one. 
You do not have the charisma, the talent, or the political gene to rival any of your sisters. No one knows what to do with you. Everyone planned a beautiful future for all your three sisters to make the Empire shine brighter but you? Nobody has any idea. All your professors searched for a secret talent, a hidden jewel, hoping you are simply a late bloomer. 
But nothing came. 
Oh, you tried. You tried so hard! Spending sleepless nights working on your studies to at least hope for a well-made brain. But you are so average, both in looks and intellect. Nothing shines about you, nothing is worth noting. 
You sigh and finish your drink. 
Your only little quirk is your paintings. That’s the only thing distinguishing you from your sisters, you not failing art class. It is quite fondly regarded when you’re five but when you’re an adult princess of the Empire you need other qualities and skills than a good brush move. 
You just wanted to go to art school and live simply, not that overdramatic life wrapped in politics and secrecy. You wish not for the power and the riches, they bring you too much headaches. You want to leave the Palace, find a small apartment, get a cat, and for everyone to forget your existence and leave you in peace. 
But no... Not a chance. 
This very party is a shining example. It is officially a diplomatic meeting between high political top hats but the true goal of your father is to show off his daughters in the hope you find a future husband, wealthy and powerful, and then marry you off. 
Nothing more. Nothing less. 
You are a prop to your father’s politics. Good to lure a man and his funds into the imperial bank. 
And right now you are failing spectacularly. Now that you mind per se, but the man you call father and emperor will inevitably learn about that and you don’t want to anger him. You still value your life. 
You sigh again mentally preparing yourself to stand up and try to “seduce” men, feeling a headache rising, when- 
“Will you allow me to join you?” A rich deep voice makes you turn your head. 
Grand Admiral Thrawn, a hand on the back of the other chair of your table, is looking at you with a small grin and sparkling eyes. 
“Oh...” You can only say, surprised for him to spawn out of nowhere, “I mean yes! Of course Grand Admiral.” 
“Thank you, your majesty.” He bows his head. 
He elegantly sits down next to you. Even his manners are impeccable, full of grace and dexterity. You feel so slow and clumsy next to him. You see his long, delicate fingers hovering over the canapes before choosing one and lifting it to his mouth to bite into it.  
Maker, even Military officers are more dignified than you... You subconsciously straighten your back to at least match the energy he brings to the table, trying not to appear too sluggish.  
You know this man for being the first and only alien to have reached the Grand Admiral rank, which is really impressive, you will give him that. He always struck you as a balanced and polite man. He revealed himself as an art enjoyer on your first meeting and very nicely proposed himself as a model for male anatomy. You accepted and you meet every other month when he comes back from his campaigns. He lets you draw and paint his body in silence for long hours before coming to take a look and give you advice from time to time. 
And then he leaves. And that’s the end of that. 
Or it is the end of your relationship because he seems to roam around the residency aisle of the palace a lot. Numerous times you caught the back of his head disappearing behind a corner when you left your studio after a long painting session. You have no idea what he comes here for in the residency wing of the Palace, nothing interesting for a Grand Admiral around here. 
As a matter of fact, you do have an idea why he comes to this part of the Palace, you suspect he comes to visit one of your sisters regularly. And he must be seriously enamored for risking the wrath of the Emperor! You don’t even want to imagine his reaction if he discovered the Alien got access to one of his dear eldest! 
You just hope the sister in question takes her precautions to not get caught. 
That would also be a huge waste for the Grand Admiral, if an alien such as him managed to reach this rank it means he must be terribly good at what he does! Not that the Emperor shares any tactical info with you, his daughters, it is a simple observation. And he looks rather dashing too... Your vain side would be devastated to learn such a handsome man would be executed, that would be such a loss for the Galaxy you nod to yourself. 
You remain silent, observing the guests and your sisters shining in their dresses and jewelry. They are so radiant, you think with envy. Typically the type of women a man as handsome as the Grand Admiral would pursue, they are in the same league. 
Contrary to you. 
You start feeling a tingle at the back of your neck and you turn your head to discover Grand Admiral Thrawn silently looking in your direction smiling softly. You spin your head again to see what he might be watching with such tenderness in his red gaze, only to see... 
Nothing?  
You frown. 
“It is you I am looking at.” Thrawn’s deep voice rises again, with a touch of controlled amusement. 
You turn back to him with an embarrassed smile. 
“Oh, I just thought you saw... Nothing.” 
He tilts his head slightly. 
“What did you think I saw?” 
“I don’t know, something interesting.” You take your glass to your lips to sip, feeling your throat going dry. 
“But I am looking at something interesting. The most interesting person in this room.” 
Oh okay. 
You know where this is going, you know that sweet sugary tone. 
“What do you want Grand Admiral?” You put your glass back with a clank, “What demand do you want me to ask my father?” 
He cocks his head again, squinting like he didn’t understand your question. 
“I have no demand to ask your father.” 
“Of course you don’t.” You snort. 
They always do that. Come with a sweet voice and a compliment and then beg you to interfere with your father in their favor. 
You are no political genius but you recognize a freeloader when you meet one! 
“You always come to me! You think I am the weakest and easiest to manipulate for your benefit, you come with doe eyes and then ask outrageous demands, in the hope of gaining political powers. Well, I am sorry, go knock on another door!" You speak irritated but low to not start any drama. 
Vice Admiral Thrawn blinks at you. He shakes his head, trying to disarm the situation. 
"I assure you, Your Majesty, I did not come to ask any political favors of any kind.” He reiterates softly, “I simply saw you, so beautifully dressed and dolled up and could not help but come to you.” 
You sniff with disdain. Lies. If he doesn’t want political favors from your father then he wants access again to one of your sister's beds, another classic you had to deal with!  
“I am sorry Grand Admiral.” You say coldly, “I have nothing to give you.” 
His smile widens and you hear a low chuckle. 
“But on the contrary, it is me who wants to give you something, Your Majesty.”   
You look at him suspiciously as he takes something from his pocket. He puts a little box hermetically sealed in front of you. You tentatively take it and open the lid to discover a colorful powder in a tangerine shade. 
You look at him mouth agape and mute with surprise. 
“I heard you needed this shade to finish your latest painting.” He says softly, “I traveled the galaxy and found this powder made from local seashells in an isolated world. I saw it and knew I needed to get it for you.” 
This shade... 
Is the exact one you need, down to a t. 
“How... How did you...?” 
“That is not important, Your Majesty  I know how much you care about this painting and wanted to help you.” 
This painting, you saw it in your dreams. 
It was a flash of a faded memory of your dead mother, smiling at you before the sunset. Long, long ago... 
This powder is the perfect shade for her eyes... 
“Oh dear Maker...” You start sobbing, hiding your mouth behind your hand. 
“Your Majesty?” Grand Admiral Thrawn asks, “Are you all right?” 
You nod, wiping any tear that might have rolled down your cheek, getting back control over your sobs. 
“Yes... Yes. Thank you Grand Admiral, this is a very thoughtful gift.” You smile at him. 
Now you feel dumb to have given him the cold shoulder. 
But how did he know about that painting? You don’t remember talking about it to anyone? You specifically hid it behind a sheet. 
“You are welcome, Your Majesty. It is my pleasure.” 
His hand furtively reaches yours and caresses your finger with the tips of his own. You let him do it. You don’t know why. It is simply not unpleasant... 
“I just thought... I’m going to sound stupid, bear with me, I thought you wanted to use me to get close to my sisters.” You chuckle embarrassed, “It is a bit stupid...” 
“Why would I want to get close to your sisters when you are here?” He asks. 
“Because... I am just me.” You shrug like it is evident, “Nobody knows what to do with me.” 
“I have plenty of ideas of what we could do together.” He whispers, taking your hand gently to kiss it, his red eyes looking brazenly at you. 
You feel heat spreading on your cheeks. 
“Vice Admiral!” You choke “How dare... We are in the middle of a ballroom!” You chastise him. 
“We can leave anytime you desire...” He licks your knuckles with the tip of his warm tongue, looking insolently at you. 
You feel yourself melting into a puddle at that gaze on you. So many unchaste images cross his read shining eyes while devoring you. You feel stripped naked before him. You gulp and turn your head away, you cannot hold his gaze, you feel like you’re about to combust. 
He chuckles and kisses your hand again. 
“I am merely joking, Your Majesty. I know you cannot simply fool around with any man. But maybe  you will allow me this dance?” He stands up, still holding your hand but awaits your response. 
You gingerly look at him. Dear Maker, he is so tall... 
He looks at you with a small smile, gently squeezing your hand. 
“I... Can allow one dance.” You concede. 
“You are so generous with me, Your Majesty. I thank you.”  
He helps you stand and guides you to the dancefloor, his warm hand on your lower back. He spins toward you and grabs your hand, pressing your two bodies together. 
“Hold on to me, Your Majesty.” He says sensually. 
And he makes you spin and twirl on the dancefloor, holding you so close you can feel his high body warmth through your clothes. He is a very, very good dancer you realize.  
The dance starts normal and modest as it should be but it slowly dissolves into... something else.  
You can feel his large hands roaming your entire body, playing with the straps of your dress, raising the hem of your dress to touch your naked thigh, he grabs the pin and frees your hair in your back, he grabs your hips to press them against his in a sultry move, almost grabbing your butt... 
It feels like he is making love to you, fully clothed and in public. You fail to put a stop to it and protect your modesty, he is just so good at it that you blindly follow him, losing track of time. 
You gulp, losing your breath as he makes your head spin dangerously. He never once stops looking at you, devouring you with his shiny rubies, hunger lying deep in them. 
You are breathless, straps down your shoulders, your skirt high on your thighs and your legs trembling terribly, threatening to give out under you if Grand Admiral Thrawn wasn't holding you firmly against his tall body. 
“Gra.. Grand Admiral...” You can only say. 
“Is there a problem, Your Majesty? We are simply dancing, like I promised we would only do.” 
“This is not a dance! This is...” You try to get angry at him but your beating heart only pumps blood to your cheeks even more. 
“You did not stop me once.” He tilts his head, “If you said no I would have stopped immediately.” 
“Someone could see us! Someone-” 
“There are a lot of people around us. They hide you perfectly, no one will ever know. You can let go entirely, let me guide you...” He whispers sultrily in your ear.  
His hand on your back slowly caresses his way down towards your butt and his hand on your leg slowly brushes his way up towards your crotch. 
This... This is so indecent! 
So scandalous! 
So obscene! 
So... 
You should slap him across the face and ditch him there but you want more of it. You feel fire starts in your loin, slowly spreading in your veins, coursing through your entire body.  
Quite unexpectedly he lets you go. You look at him without understanding, he grins and kisses your hand gallantly again. 
“Have a nice evening, Your Majesty. Thank you for this... Delicious moment. I will see you for our next modeling session.” He rolls his ‘R’ like a purr and leaves. 
Did he... 
Is he the one who ditched you? At the height of the tension? When you were about to say ‘yes’ to him? You remain standing still in the middle of the dancefloor, mouth agape, breathless, hair and dress in a mess. You walk back to your seat, your legs wobbly at every step. 
You feel played. 
How dares he come around to set you on fire and just leave you, arms dangling, craving for so much more?! Such a ... Tease! You readjust your dress modestly, making sure none of your sisters saw anything of this... Outrageous display. None of them are looking in your direction, they are fully focused on their friends or songs. 
You sigh, feeling like an idiot. Typically a thing that wouldn’t have happened to your sisters, they would have either put a stop to it or enchanted him so much that he would have dropped to his knees, begging for more of them. 
You're the only one dunce enough to get played like that. 
But... You cannot help but like it. It felt good to be someone’s center of the universe, even for two fleeting minutes, feeling his daring hands exploring your body so... immodestly. No man ever treated you like that, even less a man so handsome... 
You shake your head. Stop that! It is blind lust speaking. 
Your eyes lay down on the little box. You reopen it, to be sure of its content. Exactly the pigment you needed, the exact shade and vibrance...  
How did he know? 
---------------------------------------------------------------------- 
The first time he saw you was during an Imperial ceremony, from far away. The youngest of all the daughters, dressed in gold, pearls, and Orichalc. He was still a simple commodore back then, without as much power to himself. He was from very far away, not able to discern the features of your face, but it was clear from your body language and posture you didn’t want to be here. 
Like himself. 
Pryce was unavailable, a rarity for a shark like her to miss a political event like that, but she pressed him to go, to form alliances with as many senators as possible. How on the Warrior’s Blue Csilla was he supposed to do that? He is surrounded by sharks and snakes ready to eat each other for their selfish benefits, something so beyond him he simply forgets this is actually a thing people do instead of worrying for the good of the many... 
Saying he was terrified would be false, but saying he was comfortable would be a lie.  
It takes a lot to make him uncomfortable, but politicians always do the trick.  
So in a weird way, he felt kinship towards you. He knew nothing about you, he was not even sure of your rank at that very moment, but like him, you wished you weren't there at that moment. 
The massive difference was that he was anonymously sitting in the grandstand while you were on the big stage, to be looked at and admired like a pretty doll by everyone else. How uncomfortable it must feel... He felt sorry for you. 
Despite your discomfort, you accomplished your duties with grace, obeying your role. It was commendable of you.  
“Who are those young ladies on the side of the stage?” He leaned towards his sit neighbor. 
“Do you live under a rock? They are the Emperor’s daughters, the Imperial princesses.” He got chastised. 
He nodded thankfully and returned to his silent observation of the ceremony. 
It was not so long in retrospect, but isolated on this stage it must have felt like an eternity for you. 
After the ceremony was the real challenge for him, for two hours he had to remain comfortably seated in silence to observe a stage, now he was truly meant to go out of his way and meet politicians.  
He had to take refuge to the buffet or the corners of the room more than one time. Why can’t he read and anticipate politicians’ maneuvers? Why was he so blind to this type of warfare? After a new uncomfortable discussion that ended up with him pissing off his interlocutor because they couldn’t meet eyes to eye he caught a cozy area, almost hidden behind heavy curtains with sofas and a fountain, isolated from the rest of the busy party. He entered, hoping to find some peace and quiet but he found a young woman here, dressed in gold, pearl, and Orichalc. 
“Your Majesty.”Thrawn bowed respectfully, “I did not want to disturb your peace, I will leave.” He immediately excused himself and turned to go away 
When... 
“You may stay, sir.” You simply responded, not even looking up from your drink twirling in your glass. “I do not mind...” 
“I thank you, Your Majesty.” He bowed again and took a seat. 
Not on the same sofa as you, it would be terribly improper to impose his presence on a woman like that. He chose one a little removed from you to leave you in peace. 
He was gathering his thoughts, but you kept catching his eyes, something about you was...interesting him. And he didn’t know what, nor the true nature of his interest in you. 
“What?” You asked out of the blue, “You keep giving me side glance, you never saw a woman before?” 
“My apologies, Your Majesty. It was impolite of me” 
“Yes, it is. My father killed men for less than that.” You added acidic. 
Something in your tone and demeanor... Like a heavy lassitude, like you were crushed by something. But what? 
“I will keep it in mind, then. Thank you for the warning, Your Majesty.” 
You sniffed with disdain before looking back down to your drink. 
“So it’s you....” You finally added after several minutes of silence, “the Navy’s favorite pet.” 
He turned back his gaze to you, squinting. 
“The Navy’s pet?” He repeated politely. 
“The only alien in the Navy, and a Commodore at that. You pissed off a lot of people, my congratulations.” 
He was not able to judge if you were sincere or sarcastic. 
“I do my best to do my job. But some people never seem satisfied, I cannot do anything more to content them, I am afraid.” He humbly admits. 
“Like me.” You let out with a little voice. 
You did not say more and he did not pryied. 
“Why are you not enjoying the party, Your Majesty?” He asked, curious, “Your sisters are getting their fill.” 
You snarled in response. 
“If you came here to flaunt my dear sisters in my face you can leave, sir.” 
“My apologies, Princess. I was simply curious why a young adult would not enjoy such a party.” He explained. 
You turned your head and for the first time your gazes crossed. 
“What about you? You do not seem the type to enjoy parties either.” 
“My young years are behind me.” 
You frowned. 
“Are they?” 
Well technically he is still considered rather young for Chiss standards with their longer lifespan but for humans, he is middle-aged. But you don’t know that. 
“I am over 45.” He informed you. 
The way your beautiful human eyes rounded up in surprise was quite delectable. 
“You’re kidding.” 
“I am not.” 
“You barely look 35.” You responded astonished. 
He came to understand it was a compliment on his physical appearance. Something he was not used to. 
“I thank you, your Majesty. You look ravishing yourself.” 
He stopped dead. Was ‘ravishing’ too much? How do you respond politely to a woman appreciating your physical appearance, and what is the proper and polite response when that woman is an Imperial Princess? 
You gauged him up and down before exploding laughing. 
Not one of those overly musical and false laughs of politicians and freeloaders, a true, pure, and sincere fit of laughter. Something coming directly from the heart. 
Something fresh. 
He remained still, not knowing how to react. Your laugh was quite pleasant to hear, and the smile you tried to hide behind your hand enhanced your features gracefully.  
“Oh Maker.” You breathe to calm down, “You are quite funny, sir!” 
He failed to see what was funny in his response but he was not starting to question a Princess. You sighed deeply, still shaken by the remnants of your laugh. At least you were smiling now, that heavy sentiment hovering over you seemed to have disappeared. At least for now. 
“Thank you, your Majesty.” He diplomatically responded. 
“So tell me truly, why did you come hiding here?” You asked, a bit more lively. 
This time he was the one looking down at his drink for a fleeting moment. 
“Politics... Evade me entirely.” He finally reveals. 
“Same.” 
He looked at you curiously. 
“But you are a Princess of the Empire.” 
“That doesn’t mean I can lead. I dislike politics. I prefer my studio.”  
A studio? The type he is hoping for? 
“What type of studio?”  
“Oh ... Just.” You gave him a side glance and lowered your gaze, embarrassed “No. You will find it stupid.” 
“I will not judge, Your Majesty.” He solemnly declared. 
“I ... Paint. A little...”You revealed, fidgeting your fingers. 
His heart jumped and all of his social anxiety and restraints lifted up like a cloud. You paint? It’s marvelous news! He loves paintings, why not tell him sooner? 
“This is not stupid, Your Majesty. Art is a very noble and respectable hobby, I am a humble art enjoyer myself.” He explained calmly, keeping his growing enthusiasm on a leash. “Would you have pictures of your work to show me by any chance?” He daringly asked 
You looked at him absolutely horrified.  
Please, do not look at him like that...It displeases him, even though he doesn’t quite know why. 
He likes it when women are comfortable with him, it is gratifying to be perceived as a protector. He wants you to feel relaxed around him. 
Especially you 
For some unknown reasons... 
“I... No!” You hurriedly responded. 
He tilted his head. He wanted to see some of your work. It is so important for artists to be seen and perceived for them to flourish in their talents. 
He just wanted to give you a positive boost... But you denied him. 
“I understand.” He responded, a bit disappointed to have lost this opportunity to speak about art. 
You looked at him, embarrassed before rising on your feet to close the curtain entirely, giving the little salon a cozy and very intimate atmosphere. You took out your imager of your little purse and approached him shyly, suddenly self-conscious. 
He looked at you approaching with an impassible expression, but hope constricted his heart. 
“Do you promise to not mock me?” You asked like you weren't an Imperial Princess with significant powers. 
No. At this very instant you were a shy, but hopeful young artist, ready to expose herself intimately to a fellow art enjoyed, pressing your imager against your chest.  
You were taking a leap of faith... 
And he was ready to catch you in his arms. 
“I never mock an artist, Your Majesty.” He declared with all the serious in the world. 
You gulped and sat down next to him, handing him the imager with a slightly trembling hand. 
“This is not very good...” You warned him. 
Who cares? If you are a beginning artist with a low level he will be more than happy to give you references and art currents to study to help you in your art journey. 
But you were actually really good with a brush. No need to get all shy about it, you should be proud of your paintings! 
You studied a lot of subjects and tried a lot of different techniques and materials, your style could be soft and appeasing with pastel colors, bold and brash with vibrant brush strokes, or gloomy and eerie, creating a haunting atmosphere. 
But no matter how different your paintings might be there was one very clear constant for him. 
Your innate good and soft nature. 
Not in a fragile or virginal way, no. But something bright, shining like a real sun, luminous, warm, inescapable, and unstoppable... 
How could you be Emperor Palpatine’s daughter? 
How was that possible? 
He silently observed your work under your worried gaze, awaiting his judgment. It is clear you hid this part of yourself from everyone else, and maybe he was the very first person who took interest in your hobby, the very first one you let gaze upon yourself so intimately like that... 
Because it was very intimate, he knew it. He stripped your soul naked before him and he ogled without any shame, taking as many details as he could. 
And he very much liked what he saw. 
Where were gentle souls like yours in the galaxy? They appeared so rare and he would very much appreciate one in his life. A friend honest and deeply good by nature... 
That sounds terribly enticing to him. 
He knew nobody on Coruscant, spending his entire leaves in art galleries. But maybe now he could visit them with a nice company at his arm? Simple rendezvous filled with passionate discussions about art, speaking and debating a subject until you both lose your voices and only look into each other eyes to continue the discussion. 
That sounds terribly nice... 
But you are a Princess and him a Commodore. How would that work? He was not even sure he had the right to be in the same room as you.  
But the idea was just so nice... An art partner, being friends with an actual artist, getting to witness the intricate process of creating a masterpiece.  
That is just so alluring to him... 
“So?” you asked with a short breath. 
“This is high-quality work, Princess. You have an undeniable talent and obviously worked really hard to get to this level.” He praised, “I can only encourage you to continue.” 
“You think... I could live on my brush one day?” You inquired, hope lying in your voice. 
“It is a real possibility, I can see it happening.” He nodded with a tight encouraging smile. 
“... Thank you.” You let him knew, “I...” 
You seemed to be about to say something else but suddenly jumped on your feet, the heat signals of your face through the roof. 
“I need to go! Good evening Sir!” And like that you left him, speechless, still holding your precious imager. 
Maybe the tension of showing your art to someone else for the first time was too much for you. This was quite endearing and he let out a little chuckle amused. 
He resumed his art exploration on your imager, he will find a way to send it back to you. 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
He didn’t sent it back. 
He kept it, he has it every day in his inner pocket, close to his heart. He rummages through it when he can, seeing you through the pictures, getting to know you through each paint stroke.  
He innocently thought about you two becoming art friends to satisfy his knowledge cravings, but instead, he developed an... interesting bound with you. 
Without your knowledge.  
He tried several times to come to see you at your art studio to give it back, only to remain at the door, silently spying on you painting through the cracked door. 
He wished not to disturb the holy inspiration flow so precious to artists. He would break your entire rhythm if he knocked at the door and stopped you. 
How could he dare disturb the process of art? Especially yours? So he remained at the door for long hours until you decided to exit the room or he heard someone come by. 
When you weren’t here he forced the door open to tidy up the place and look at your last pieces. 
But one day you were simply preparing yourself to paint so he entered. Unannounced, unwanted he walked in like he owned the place. You didn’t see him at first, focusing on your flimsy sheets when you raised back on your feet to discover him observing your latest piece with attention, his hand holding his chin, appreciating every detail. 
“Oh dear Maker!” You jumped back. 
He turned his head to you with a tight smile. 
“My apologies, Princess.” He said not at all sorry. 
“What are you doing here?!” You asked in some sort of panick. 
“Your father requested my presence today, and I had hoped to be able to catch you paint.” He mundanely explained it like it was evidence. 
“And why is that?” You asked suspiciously, hiding some sketches behind you. 
“My apologies Princess, I got ahead of myself. I have something belonging to you and wanted to give back.” 
He took out the small imager of his pocket to hand it to you. He already has several copies and backups of all your art. 
“My imager!” You shouted, relieved. “Where did you get it?” 
“You actually gave it to me years ago when I was still a Commodore.” He explains gently. 
You took the imager back and looked in the gallery, with an elated smile.  
“I don’t think I ever caught your name, Mister.” You raise back your clear gaze at him. 
Of course, you knew his name, he was the only alien of the fleet, surely his name traveled the corridors of the Palace and he knew it. But Politeness and etiquette demanded you asked. 
And you are a very polite woman. 
He put his right hand on his heart and bowed to you. 
“I am Vice Admiral Thrawn. I am delighted to meet you again, Your Majesty.” 
You elegantly bowed back. 
“I am (Y/n) (L/n).” 
“Are you not a Palpatine?” Thrawn tilted his head. 
You bite your lower lips, like you spoke too much. 
“I... Prefer to identify with  my mother’s name.” You explain. 
“It is a very beautiful name, it suits you marvelously.” He reassured you, “Do you mind if I remain for your next session? I long to observe an artist in their element.” 
“Oh well...” You spin your head towards the holo clock on the wall and all of your glee seems to melt, your smile disappearing, “I am afraid there won’t be a session today... Yet again.” 
Thrawn squinted. 
“Is there a problem, your Majesty?” 
“No its...” You sighed deeply, “Another model ditched me apparently. He should have been here an hour ago...” 
“If you allow me, your Majesty, I can replace him if you wish.” Thrawn proposed immediately. 
“I...” You purse your lips, thinking “I usually book models for three to four hours, are you sure you have that time?” 
“I do today.” He answered politely, hiding his enthusiasm, “By a splendid hasard I have nothing booked for the rest of the day. I can model for you as long as you need.” 
He very carefully planned today’s agenda to have his afternoon and evening free after his visit to the Emperor. It will postpone some operations on the Chimaera, but nothing he cannot catch up on, he made sure of it. 
You hesitated, your gaze traveling from Thrawn’s stern face to your flimsy sheets. 
It is the fifth model ditching you. 
The fifth Thrawn got rid off.  
Cleanly. 
Discreetly. 
When he entered your studio in your absence he got the occasion to detail your work and picked up on your... attraction, towards those young men. 
Something that infuriated him greatly, even though he wasn’t sure why. He never felt like that before, longing for your presence, to get to know you better and well. This is a very new sentiment to him, he desires to be with you, to listen to you talk, to help you, to just be here in the same room as you. You could be silent and still, sitting on a pedestal and he would sit and look at you with all his attention, trying to pierce your secrets. 
Why are you doing that to him? Where does this deep sentiment of covetousness come from? Right now he just wants to grab your hand and flee away from the Imperial Palace with you, take the first shuttle and take off for the never-ending universe, take you far away from that man you call father and Emperor for you both to live free. 
He always feels so cold all day long, but in your vicinity, everything warms up, the ice melts, and the sun dares from its rays on his flesh, bringing him back to life and waking him up from a long coma. Laying his gaze on you he feels like opening his eyes for the first time and taking his first breath. 
Is that... Love? 
Did Cupid finally hit him with an arrow after ignoring him all his life? 
He quite likes how that sounds. 
He wants more. So, so much more... 
But for now, he looked at you hesitating, patient, with a tight polite smile of someone only desiring to help. 
“Well... If it isn’t too much trouble for you, I would appreciate it. What about a portrait to start?” 
“But of course, Your Majesty. I am here to serve.” He bowed his head again deeply pleased that his plan worked. 
He cannot help but wonder, how do you see him? Is he handsome or repulsive to your eyes? Is he powerful or weak? 
He will soon know it through your primary sketches... 
------- 
“What are you thinking about Grand Admiral Thrawn?” You call him back to reality 
Thrawn blinks, realizing he is posing for you once again in your studio. It is quite rare that he lets his memories take the forefront of his mind but his mind drifted off observing you painting him like that. 
You took great care to not look at him in the eyes since that party and he is greatly pleased by the turmoil he stirred within you. Today again you cannot look in his direction without your face’s heat signals rising. 
How delectable... 
You draped a long fabric on him and gave him a staff to hold, ordering his pose, and started to paint. Holding the pose is hard but that only pushes him to appreciate art even more. He feels your focused gaze skimming his skin, detailing his muscles, observing the crooks and crannies of his flesh, taking in the different shades of blue of his skin. 
He feels his heart accelerating with your eyes traveling his naked form. 
He never exposed himself in such a way to anybody before. 
It is so intimate. 
So erotic... 
He feels great under your gaze, he feels... Empowered. Like he could become what he was always meant to be under your brush, that through your gaze he truly could realize himself. He feels his chest puffing up with pride and satisfaction. That surge of warmth spreading in his chest and heart when your eyes skim his skin feels so soft and right... 
“You truly have mesmerizing eyes, I hope I will be able to do them justice...” You say almost to yourself, fully focused on your sketch. 
“We could do a series of portraits after, you could study them in detail.” He proposes. 
“Thank you Grand Admiral.” You smile. 
“Please, call me Thrawn, Your Majesty. I am a simple man at your art service in this room.” 
“Then call me (Y/n).” You decide, “Let’s just be a man and a woman for this afternoon.” 
“I simply cannot, Your Majesty. You are an Imperial Princess, I cannot address you with such familiarity.” He counters. 
Who is he to address you so casually? He will not strip you down of your titles and grandeur.  
You pout, visibly displeased by his response. 
“All right...” You say very disappointed. 
He clenches his jaw, conscious of his misstep. 
“If you truly desire it, I will address you as you wish (Y/n).” He responds softly. 
But in his mind he will keep using your titles, they suit you so well. 
You nodd enthusiastically, relieved by his new response. 
“Do you want to take a look?” You ask. 
He descends from the pedestal and passes on a gown to modestly cover himself, but he doesn’t close it, coming to admire your genius on the canvas, discovering himself through your own eyes. 
You take a picture with your imager that he gave back, adding it to your collection. His heart sprints at the view of the imager in a very Pavlovian response. 
He had... other uses for your imager. 
He will never admit it, not even under torture, but... He furiously masturbated several times using your art collection on the imager. He has no rational explanation for it. One day he was terribly bothered, to his utmost inconvenience, and hoped that some nice paintings could distract him. 
But instead  
He just got such a clear picture of you, of your good nature, of your amazingly sweet personality that he became hard like wood, worsening the situation. He found a self-portrait of yourself, looking straight back at him with such a clear and assured gaze... And he just lost it. 
He fisted himself, entranced by those expressive eyes looking brazenly at him. 
He never came so hard before, his entire body struck by lightning, setting fire to his very soul. He was left breathless and disoriented, his large chest rising up and down rapidly, your impudent gaze fixing him intently. 
The high was so high the descent was devastating, leaving him craving more of you, by any means necessary... 
That’s when he decided to enter your studio for the first time. 
Thrawn discovers the canvas. 
He discovers himself slouching regally on a throne like he is presiding over a tedious political case and is about to give his royal judgment. 
You remain a step behind, fidgeting your fingers. 
“What do you think?” You ask a bit worried. 
An idea flashes in his mind, a bad idea, but oh so delicious... 
“Technically very interesting and avant-garde. But there is something...” He teases sadistically. 
“Something? What? What is wrong? What did I do wrong?” You immediately panick. 
“Are you familiar with male anatomy?” He asks, falsely investigating. 
Of course, you are familiar with it, he saw you paint it plenty of times. 
“Yes! I am!” You protest. 
“Let’s see...” He gently takes your hands to place them on his large pecs. 
Your eyes round up in surprise and your breath is caught in your throat. 
“Feel the muscles, how they are built in the body.” He casually instructs while he takes your hands for a jaunt on his body, caressing himself with your soft palms. 
“Hum... Grand Admiral?” You try. 
“Feel where they start and end, where they cross paths and attach to the bones.” He slowly pushes your hands down his abdominals. 
You audibly gasp as he directs your hands on his naked body. While your body heat skyrockets in your embarrassment and confusion, he revels in the softness of your touch and the freshness of your hands on his thick skin. 
Your touch is delightful. Delicate and tender. He has all the pain in the world to not moan in bliss... 
He presses your palms on his abdominals, pushing them farther and farther south. 
“It is very important you understand how the muscles twist and bend.” He lectures you like you didn’t already know that. 
“Grand Admiral...” You press him more and more embarassed. 
He takes a step forward and you take a step back. 
He takes another one and you do the same. 
He finally blocks you against the desk where you keep all your colors and pigments. You jolt when your back hits the wooden table, caged between his half-naked body and the furniture. He stops your hands on his groin region, right above his cock.  
He looks at your flustered face intently, how you evade his gaze and your heat signals are the worst he ever saw. He refrains from licking your face as he so desperately wants to. 
Your sex is irradiating a warm light to his infrared vision, well awake and demanding attention. He takes great pride in the reaction of your body to his daring advances, but you also appear tense. 
“Feel how my male body is different from your female body, feel it deeply... within you...” He whispers, looming forward to press his forehead against yours to look at your eluding gaze. He pulls your hands to wrap your arms around his waist as his own hands come to seize your hips, slightly slipping them under your corseted top to caress your smooth human skin. 
You cannot help the gasp escaping you, shocked to your core but indubitably... interested. Curious and craving for more. 
Still, the uneasy feeling remains in the pearl of your eyes. 
He presses your hips together and rolls his pelvis, delighting himself in your hot and bothered reaction. Your hands are trembling and sweaty but they hold on his lower back. You slowly and timidly raise your gaze to meet his, mouth agape and with a short breath. 
You gulp as he smiles, satisfied.  
Are you a virgin? Will he be your first? 
His heart pumps harder! 
You first... But more importantly your last! 
He lowers himself with a satisfied grin, but right before he is about to kiss you, he suddenly grabs your ass to lift you up and put you on the table, making you yelp in surprise. His hands lift your skirt to caress your round thighs, dividing them open to slide between them swiftly. 
His blood is beating furiously, his hands caressing and exploring your gorgeous body eagerly, mentally pesting against those useless clothes hiding your naked perfection to his burning rubies. You let out a weak moan between precocious fear and irrefutable excitement. 
Your hands circle his shoulders and you dig your nails into his blue flesh, to his utmost pleasure, pulling you tighter towards you. 
Everything comes to a halt as you look into each other eyes with heavy breathing.  
He wants you. 
He craves you. 
And he will have you! 
In one way or another, you will be his and his alone.  
He will rip you out of your father’s claws and build you a life of comfort and love.  He will hold you close and tight, showering you with adoration every day, worshipping at your feet. 
Thrawn taunts you with his lips, hovering them over your parted mouth, making your throat go dry with anticipation. He teases you with a kiss on the tip of your nose, before letting out a low growl as your gazes meet, you cannot help but moisten your plump lips with your tongue with a short breath.  
Thrawn hand seizes your lower back to pull you close and tight against him, his second hand embracing the back of your skull to pull you ever so slightly closer to his tempting grin. 
You look at each other in a suspended moment, listening to each other heavy heartbeat, feeling the sheer tension in the room before Thrawn lowers himself with the intent to kiss you. 
“Please... Do not hurt me...” You ask with a voice so low and feeble he barely hears you, tears in your eyes. 
He stops his motion. 
Why would- 
“Sorry for my late arrival Princess, I-” 
A man enters the studio unannounced, absolutely ruining the moment. You yelp in surprise, pulling on your skirt to cover your bare legs while Thrawn merely turns his upper body towards the intruder to shoot him with his glare, making no effort to cover his modesty. 
The man is clearly embarrassed to have walked in during an intimate moment, but Thrawn wants him more than embarrassed. He wants him repentant and desperate.  
“I am sorry, Sir.” You jump off the table, flustered, pushing your hair behind your ear to put up a front, “Thrawn, I present you Sir Hatway, a curator of an art gallery I invited to judge my art.” You gesture towards the impudent. 
The man clearly doesn't know what to do with himself in front of a naked Chiss. 
“Sir Hatway, this is Vice Admiral Thrawn of the Imperial Navy and one of my favorite model.” 
Thrawn heart speeds up at the compliment, but outside he is still shooting down Hatway, frowning, displeased. 
“Should I... Wait outside, Princess?” The impolite man asks. 
‘Yes he should!’ Thrawn thinks, clasping his hands behind his back. 
“No! No...” You hurriedly respond, “It is all right, you didn’t interrupt anything. We can look at my paintings now.” 
Thrawn gaze slides to you. 
What do you mean ‘didn’t interrupt anything’? He wants to ask impudently.  
He chastises himself. You are an imperial Princess. You cannot just fool around with anyone like that without consequences from your father, you must preserve your reputation. 
The insolent nods unsure, still uneasy, before turning towards Thrawn with a smile he surely hoped to be affable, but honestly is just pathetic. He takes a step forward with his hand extended. 
“Please to meet you Grand Admiral Thrawn.” 
Thrawn consciously takes his time to gauge him up and down from all his height, straightening his back to look at him with all the smugness his rank conferred him. He finally took the man’s hand to shake it. 
“The pleasure is mine, Sir Hatway.” Thrawn tightens his grip until the man winces in pain, “You will obviously not say a word of what you saw.” He asks, deadly cold. 
“N-no, sir. I saw nothing and know nothing...” He pitifully responds 
“Good...” The Chiss nods, venomous. 
“You can go, Grand Admiral.” You say, fidgeting your fingers, still visibly agitated, “We are done for today.” 
“If you allow me, Your Majesty. I am interested to witness your audition.” 
“I...” You bite your lower lips again, thinking, “All right.” You concede. 
When Thrawn exits the changing room in his pristine white uniform, Sir Hatway is no longer the pitiful man who entered the studio. He stands proudly before your paintings, detailing them and judging them imperially. 
You remain a bit behind, full of apprehension and hope. Like the day you showed Thrawn your imager. 
“This is not very good to be honest with you, Your Majesty. This is amateurish at best, and I am being generous.” 
Thrawn stops dead in his tracks. Did he hear right? 
“But I...” You try. 
“It will not be possible I am afraid. You should abandon painting entirely, this is not a world for a fragile flower like you...” 
Thrawn takes a single glance at the painting you are presenting right now. 
Your dear mother’s portrait. 
You spend long hours on this one, pouring your tears and blood in the paint to bring it to life and honor that woman. 
And that... Uncultured fool rejects it?! Calls it amateurish?! Thrawn never saw such passion in a portrait in a long long time! 
He heard enough. 
He walks to the man with three long strides, catching both of your attention. 
“Sir. I will invite you to take back your words immediately.” He said very coldly, camping in front of the fool, towering over him with all his height. 
“Who do you think you are to teach my job?!” The impudent retorted, any traces of the former shy man long gone. 
“Who do you think YOU are?! Is your heart so dry to be so blind before such a shining jewel, before such explicit talent, before such an evident masterpiece? I can not let you say such things.” 
The man looks at Thrawn afraid and confused but sticks to his guns. 
“No! It is my job to evaluate artists that wish to enter our art gallery and she doesn’t have the level expected.” 
“Can you not see she is ahead of her time? That she is avant-garde in so many aspects? I pity your gallery Sir, we must only find mediocrity inside.” 
“Are you insulting me?!”  
“You insulted her first.”  
“Grand admiral please...” You try to calm them both 
Thrawn raises his hand to sush you. 
“She has no talents, and no future in the art world. I am doing her a favor by telling her early.” He bites. 
Thrawn feels about to punch this man. 
Instead, he takes a step back and takes out his pair of gloves from his pocket, and throws them at the impudent’s face. 
“I will protect her honor, I challenge you sir.” 
“What?! No! This is getting ridiculous, stop-” You try to interject again. 
“Fine! Whenever you damn please Alien!” The fool retorts. 
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@bluechiss @thrawnalani @justanothersadperson93 @al-astakbar @thrawnspetgoose @readinglistfics @elise2174 @debonaire-princess @twilekchiss @pencil-urchin @ineedazeezee @mssbridgerton @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching @Cortisolcosplay, @obbicrystaleo, @germie2037 @davesrightshoe @holylonelyponyeatingmacaroni @leo4242564
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homunculus-argument · 1 year ago
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I try to go out of my way to let people know if I like something that they're doing, because people don't really notice the good things of themselves or aren't aware that other people notice. Or occasionally, they might not be aware that something about them that they're not observing is a positive thing. It reflects and bounces back and forth, and we all need some random positivity around.
Made a post a while ago about this guy whom I met through my publisher, whose name I had honestly forgotten/missed completely, wanting to note down how this dude made me see just how much the southern US kind of rural "redneck" stereotype that I'd only seen depicted - largely in a negative, classist light - really is rooted in a genuine type of people, who not only exist, but are just the same type of people as my mother's side of the family in rural Finland. And that weren't for the complete language barrier between people who don't speak a word of english, and people who don't speak a word of finnish, they'd have much to talk about - more in common than I really do with either of them.
What I hadn't expected were a few people tagging the post as "gender goals" - I honestly hadn't even thought of this cultural observation from a gender presentation point of view - but I thought that he himself might find this amusing. After sending my publishers the initial message I realised that wait shit, they're all late millenial bordering-on-gen-X cis guys, I'll need to translate this. I started going into what the hell any of that even means, explaining the concept of transition goals, of how trans people go about gathering inspiration of just what kind of men/women/nb they want to be, and taking notes of the kind of gender presentation they personally like.
Typing it out, I kind of started also getting a clearer picture of how much of a significance that kind of thing can have, even when remarked half-jokingly. Of what I put together, this guy has been in kind of a rough patch in life - freshly divorced after getting married too young, he's been up in the air in his mid-30s trying to figure out how to build up a life in his own image as an independent adult, after marrying his high school sweetheart wasn't Happily Ever After after all.
So maybe he would like to know that there's people on the internet who are trying to figure out how to present themselves, and what kind of a man they want to be, who read my rough description of my impression of him - that I wrote without thinking much more about it at all - and thought "I like what this guy is doing. This is what I'd like for myself."
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channieskies · 8 months ago
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Chapter I: The Nameless Prince
Pairing: Prince Hyunjin x Reader (AFAB)
Genre: Historical|Au, Fantasy|Au, Strangers to Lovers, Royalty|Au, Angst, Smut, NSFW tags are under the cut.
Synopsis: The kingdom of Volantis is in disarray; the monarch rules with an iron fist. The times of hope, harmony, and kindness were buried with the queen who passed many years ago. The people are praying for a savior, but who will be their light at the end of this dark tunnel?
Authors Note: Please reblog or leave a like or comment to let me know how you feel. I'd love a little feedback. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it.Warnings: MINORS DNI! This post contains nsfw material. Please do not interact with it if you are under the age of 18. Do not translate or repost to other sites.
Word Count: 1705
Disclaimer: This story does not reflect the real lives or personalities of Stray Kids. I do not know them personally. This is purely a work of fiction.
Story Index
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Warnings⚠️: MINORS DNI! This post contains nsfw material. Please do not interact with it if you are under the age of 18. Do not translate or repost to other sites. Mentions of Death, Abuse, Child Abuse and neglect (please let me know if I missed any)
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Loathing. No- maybe it was pure hatred that his father felt for him. Every little glance he took towards the child would cause his feelings to bubble up once more, like a cauldron filled with  scalding hot acid. All the hardened man could see when he gazed upon his child was the face of his wife. The woman he loved with all his heart, the one woman that made him a better person; a better king. The one woman that he held, lifeless and limp in his arms after bringing another life into the world. The light gone from her eyes, the warmth gone from her skin as the screams of the prince filled the royal birthing chambers. 
Aeri; the only woman he would ever truly love. The only light he had in his life, snuffed out with the birth of his son. He tried his best to love and care for the child whose life meant the end of his beloved. The older the boy grew, the more his face looked like his mothers. The more her reasonings and sensibilities started to come out of the boy who never got a chance to meet her, to know her. Every year marked a year away from his love, and another reason for hate to fester in the absence of it. 
Until one day, he just couldn’t stand the sight of him at all. Repugnance was all that was left. Banishing him to the far towers of the north was all that the king could do, outside of eliminating the bane of his existence with his very own hands. Leaving the child to learn to fend for himself, to grow up in the tower alone, with no one to care for him. Character. That's what his father told him to build as he slammed the carriage shut, shooing the boy and his lone servant away. Far, far away. 
Hyunjin never quite understood his father. He couldn't understand why the man treated him so cruelly. Why the other princes from different lands just seemed to be raised in complete contrast to him. A male heir was what all kings desired to have. So why was it that his father didn't seem to care for him at all, using every excuse in the book to shoo him away? He often pondered on this as he looked upon the sprawling hills outside of his northern tower. How glad he was that it was finally spring. Not that he could experience any of it. Eleven years he'd been locked away here, in this lonely tower. 
He figured the kingdom as well as the king had long forgotten that there was a prince. That there was a legitimate heir to the throne, a son born to the king and queen. Truthfully, if not for Venia, his maid- well, his only family at this point, he would have forgotten this fact as well. She would often make the months-long trip back to the King’s land to procure supplies for a few months. Bringing back more than just rations and paint supplies, but town gossip as well. The King had remarried, and welcomed five daughters in the eleven years, with one on the way, all in the absence of his only male child. 
Though his father was trying hard to produce a male heir with his new spouse, it was all for naught. Nothing seemed to work. No spell, no potion, no wish would aid in their trials. For every child they bore together, would be a girl. But the hatred he had in his heart for his son, prevented him from summoning the boy, even when sickness befell him during winter. Snow had blanketed the island of Arcta, where the Prince and his maid resided. This snowfall was unlike any other the boy had seen over his ten years moored on this island. 
Winds so strong it felt as if the tower swayed softly like one would to music. There was no life to be seen for miles, just a deserted tundra. Lifeless. Much like how he felt in the winter months. But thankfully, it was spring. He hadn't received word of how his father was doing since the late months of winter. A courier was sent to the isle to inform them of his sickness. One that braved the harsh winter and long journey to give word. 
Despite his father's loathsome attitude towards him, Hyunjin still wished him well. For the sake of the sisters he'd never had the chance to meet, he wanted their father to survive. To raise his daughters up, with love, kindness, and a protective heart. He hoped that their mother did the same. If only he could meet them, his family; maybe things would be different now. He pushed the thoughts of his father to the back of his head. Not all families were biological, he learned that some time ago. Sometimes you choose your family.
Venia was his chosen family. The woman who gave up everything to raise him, just because she didn't want him to grow up alone. To grow with resentment towards the world, his father, his people. Venia had been his mothers ladies maid since she was a teenager. Despite her status, she had become close to the queen. Their bond and friendship was so deep that upon the queen's death, Venia made the promise to always take care of the young prince, no matter what.
So when the time came that Hyunjin was shunned, she volunteered to go with the young boy. Stating that he needed care, especially at his age. His father begrudgingly let her leave with the boy, clearly hoping he'd go off to the island and perish there. She tried her best to teach her the things that the queen had taught her. Trying her best to raise the child up in the likeness of his mother, in spite of his father. The queen led with beauty, grace, and a caring and compassionate heart for her subjects.
Venia wanted nothing more than for the boy to have all of his mothers traits and none of his father's. Regardless of how hard she tried, the boy was still his father's child. A few of his father's traits would poke through from time to time; impulsiveness, impatience, the tantrums he'd throw when things would go the pace or the way he wanted them to. Though he'd learned to control the latter for the most part, he was still prone to the others. Like when he painted a mural on the dining hall wall while Venia visited the King's land. Or the time he'd cut all his hair on a whim, just because he “wanted to try something different”.
But, temperament aside, Hyunjin took to books and art to experience life outside the four walls he was contained in. He especially loved the art and tales from his home kingdom of Volantis. How the white cherry blossoms lined the outer walls of the Bailey. Making it look as if it was snowing petals in the spring. How the fragrance of cherry blossom mixed so well with the sweet scent of freshly baked bread coming from the large bakery in the center of town. The trade district was always lined with beautiful fabrics and exotic spices from distant lands. Then, just a row over live music could be heard from the different eateries that wrapped the block.
He'd experienced plenty through his readings, but that was never enough. It could never be enough, not for him. Not for the boy who'd been locked away in a tower for almost his entire life. He'd love to tour the streets of his home, trying different foods, listening to live music, since he's only heard the humming of songs from Venia. Though sweet, he was sure it was nothing like the real thing. “Where would this be, your highness?” Venia loved to hover, this time it was from curiosity.
Lately, Hyunjin had been dreaming of places he'd never been or seen. Not that it was unusual, being that he'd only been to the inside walls of the castle town and made the trip to this lone isle, that was the extent of his travel history. Everything was new to his eyes. “Feels..like… a home. Warm, inviting, safe. But, I do not have the slightest idea where it's from, though.” 
The painting was of a small castle just outside a grove of apple trees with beautifully ripe red apples, ready to be picked from its boughs. Their branches were filled with apple blossoms, he could tell their scent was just as sweet as the cherry blossoms that filled his land. At least that was how he imagined it.
The sky was painted with swirls of blue and pink, dotted with white clouds that faded into varying shapes and sizes. “Is that a princess I see?” She pointed to one of the windows of the castle, careful not to touch the still drying paint. There was a girl, dressed in all white leaning on the windowsill, the doors to which were wide open. She was drenched in sunlight, basking in it. Total calm was all over her face.
“I suppose.” He never knew just quite where his inspiration came from. He just put to canvas what his mind had in store. Truthfully, he didn't know if this was from a dream or him recounting a story he'd once read. “More than just royalty live in castles, Venia.” She giggled at his response.
“Of course I know that, your highness. But, that young lady seems like a princess to me. If she isn't, then she is of high born blood, like your mother was.” It was such a pity that he would never get a chance to meet the wonderful and beautiful woman that was his mother. A lonely feeling settled in Hyunjin's heart. 
There had always been a void there, one that seemed to ache anytime his mother was mentioned. “Maybe she is the daughter of a nobleman. One that owns the land and the orchard that resides on it.” Hyunjin simply shrugged. Whomever she was, she was probably living a better life than he was.
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A.N: Please reblog or leave a like or comment to let me know how you feel. I'd love a little feedback. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it.
[Rewrites, Reposts, and Translations are Prohibited]
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amymbona · 3 months ago
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unfortunately people moved on :( you should get into newer stuff, it's just as fun <3 and in no time josh's new stuff will come out
Respectfully, I think that's bullshit. Why should I move on from something that's currently not in its prime? Movies exist for people to enjoy them long term, not just make some fun and profit over a few months and then completely erase them from their minds.
I'm a fan of the Harry Potter, above all, a series that has been finished but keeps living because people enjoy it, because people wanna be a part of the universe and keep the whole thing going. As of now, I hardly think about it, but once autumn comes, you bet I will be posting about how much I wanna fuck Tom Riddle.
Every March or so, I get a little nostalgic episode where I continue my maladaptive daydreaming - ish fanfiction about The 100, again, a series that ended four years ago. But I enjoy it, deeply and fully, and feel like there are still new things to discover or think about.
And the exact same thing applies to Challengers. It's a movie that came out four months ago and has freaking Zendaya as the main star. It's not gonna disappear and be completely forgotten until Christmas. On twitter, the fandom is very much alive, people keep tweeting, posting edits on tiktok, making fan arts... Just because some people on tumblr feel uninspired or have less time (mind you that school is starting for many people around the world), I won't force myself to stop enjoying something.
I'm not here for the likes (even though I'd love nothing more to be famous because I'm a performer at heart), but I'm here to talk about my hobbies and things I enjoy - and currently, Challengers are on the top of my mind. I'm here to meet people who enjoy that as well so we can keep in touch and share our thoughts and fantasies. And it doesn't matter if it's just one person, my number of followers or the whole ass fandom.
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bone-evidence · 2 months ago
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Figured while we're on the topic, I'd put all my PruCan fics so far in one post! From newest to oldest:
Canadian Charm: Who knew the easiest way to escape a meeting was to blow a kiss?
In Between:
An ancient, dilapidated manor sat on top of a hill, largely forgotten by the folks who lived in the town far below. And yet this manor wasn't empty. Not entirely, anyways. Matthew walked it's gloomy halls, his every step haunted in more ways than one.
Not every haunting was a bad thing.
Last Dance: The castle's ballroom was alive with nobles from kingdoms near and far, all come for a celebration after intense trade negotiations. Matthew, loyal knight and bodyguard to the Elvish Prince, stood on the sidelines with the Prince's cane in hand and longing boiling behind his mask of stoicism.
High Hopes: Madeline and Alfred have been visiting a very specific cafe every Thursday for a year, because poor Madeline is crushing hard on the barista. With a little encouragement from Alfred and empty seats in the rest of the cafe, she finally works up the courage to ask Julia to dinner. Hopefully Madeline can manage to get the question out without making a complete fool of herself.
Witch in the Woods:
Madeline Williams thought being exiled from her village meant the end of her existence. The forest around said village, reputed to be incredibly haunted, has other ideas.
But life in the woods, among fantastic creatures and people of all kinds, isn't as idyllic as it might seem. A chill as cold as the grave seeks to expand its influence over the denizens of the forest and enact revenge for a betrayal between one-time friends. Madeline will have to step into a power she never knew she had in order to save her woodland home and the wonderful souls she comes to call friends. It's a damn good thing she has a gargantuan white wolf to lean on.
Grandaddy Purple:
“Mattie?”
“Mm?”
“What… what do you think happens when we die?”
---
Musings on the afterlife, against a backdrop of twinkling stars, rings of smoke and roof shingles.
Concerning Prussians: A sleepless Prussia finds himself in the guest bedroom of his home, where Canada is also still awake. A late-night chat turns into possibly the sweetest way to fall asleep.
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sunflowersandsapphires · 8 months ago
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Including Sunlight
When Skies Are Gray, Chapter 4
Series Masterlist             Next Chapter
pairing: Frank Castle x fem!reader 
summary: Frank’s life has reached a crossroads: he can either continue to seclude himself and pursue a dark, lonely future, or he can open himself up to connecting with someone again and maybe achieve happiness. Being the grump that he is, Frank has already committed to the lonely path, but his curious new neighbor might just turn that around. 
warnings: swearing, fluff, Frank having unhealthy coping mechanisms
a/n: I'm so sorry that this update is late, everyone! I've had a wacky month and it has completely thrown me off. Huge shout out to @xxdrixx for reminding me (again XD) to post what I'd written, and to my loves @madschiavelique and @gracethyomen for helping me plot the upcoming angst arc!!!
w/c: 5.9k
You hadn’t known Frank for very long, but that didn’t stop him from becoming a necessary fixture in your life. Needing Frank was similar to needing light, or fresh air. Sure, you could go without it for a bit, but it would drastically reduce the quality of your life. 
Two days into his “business trip” (which you assumed was a cover for some illegal shenanigans because what sort of freelance construction worker has business trips), you were missing Frank something awful, and it seemed like Max was too. Though you’d tried your best to stick to the existing routine Frank had explained to you, the dog would get mopey in the evenings, laying his head on your lap with a dramatic sigh as he stared longingly towards the door. 
Frank hadn’t so much as sent an emoji since his departure, a fact that highlighted his already glaring absence. You had no idea if he was even alive, but you refused to go down that path knowing you’d never make it out of that endless anxiety spiral. Hoping not to bother him while he was away, you’d refrained from reaching out. Until Max’s heavy sighs were too much for you to bear. 
“I’ll see what I can do, buddy.” You promised, pulling out your phone and taking a picture of his pouting face. 
Sending Max’s sulking portrait off to your stoic neighbor, you included a message. 
You: I think he misses you. Hope you made it safely. ❤️
You were about to set your phone down, not expecting him to respond, but your phone buzzed immediately. 
Frank: Sorry, bud. He behaving for you?
You: He’s being a perfect gentleman. Please come back to us in one piece. 
Frank: Cross my heart. 
Smiling at the fluttery sensation in your chest, you set your phone down and resumed petting the pitbull taking up residence on your lap. 
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Come back to us. A poor imitation of your melodic voice played throughout his brain on a loop as he got settled in the motel and began recon. It had been hours since you’d texted him and Frank couldn’t stop thinking about it. Not that he could ever stop thinking of you; the only thing that had kept him going through the bland, cross-state drive was the knowledge that he had you to return to.
And didn’t that terrify him. The knowledge that he had forged a connection valuable enough to anchor him on bad days should have triggered his factory reset. Cut all ties, change home and job, never look back. But you made him weak–sapping the resolve out of him with your doe eyes and intoxicating personality. He’d never be able to leave you like that, even if his proximity to you would get you killed.
Gritting his teeth, he began disassembling his rifle for the umpteenth time, hoping the familiar rhythm would provide an opportunity for his mind to claw its way out of the paranoid spiral it was currently parachuting down. Because it would do him no good to imagine the ways this could all fall apart. The high that your genuine care ignited in him was a hard one to shake, and he craved your affection more than any drug. 
Frank was no stranger to being forgotten, hell, most days he wished for it. Disappearing into the shadows made his work easier and it had helped him prevent situations like this, like you, in the past. Yet here he was, three states away, feeling desired and significant because of four little sentences of fucking text. You were a goddamn miracle. 
Placing the final piece of his weapon back into its place, he drew his hands towards himself, examining them. Given the nature of his work, both legal and less than, the skin was rough and littered with impressive callouses. Streaks of gun oil, dirt, and general grime lingered on the pads of his fingers and under his nails, a testament to the indelicacy of his job. How could he allow himself to touch you with these hands?
How could the universe allow him to indulge in something so pure, after what he’d done? 
He’d given you his name, his real one, but there was no way you knew the extent of his crimes against the people in your city–if you did, you’d surely never speak to him again. Before meeting you, he’d never questioned his choices. Wiping the murderous, sex-trafficking and drug-dealing scum from the face of the Earth was his purpose, and he lived it with pride. Pulling the trigger, releasing bullet after bullet into the chest of some criminal douchebag, it was the only reason he had the energy to keep going after the loss of his family. 
But the violence, that he’d made peace with, it separated him from the rest of society, kept him from forming attachments with people as delicate as you. Not to mention, you valued an honesty he couldn’t provide, and a stable relationship would require it…not that he was intending on pursuing that with you. Right?
Sighing wearily, he pinched the bridge of his nose, heart pummeling his ribcage. You deserved to know the truth about who he was and what he’d done, but Frank wasn’t sure he possessed the courage to break that news to you, to risk losing you forever. 
Shifting uneasily on the fraying wicker chair, Frank studied a chip in the faux wood of the table he was seated at. Rubbing a thumb over the exposed plastic, he pondered his next move. His short recon session had verified Madani’s hunch that the arms dealers operated after dark, like most criminals, but sitting around the dingy motel room until then was a one-way ticket to insanity. 
As if his body was pitying his moment of unprecedented indecision, his stomach growled ferociously. Fuck, he could use a decent meal and a hot cup of coffee. Plucking his keys and handgun from the nightstand, he shoved his arms into a black canvas jacket before braving the outside world. 
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Digging your glove-covered fingers into the laminated dough, you folded it over itself a few times before placing it back in its designated proofing bin to rise. Taking another lump of the yeasted mixture into your grasp, you savored the pleasant cushiony feeling beneath your hands as you worked, the slightly fermented smell of raw bread swirling around the kitchen as you flipped the mass. 
Your heart thumped serenely as you kneaded the dough at a steady pace, creating a beautiful rhythm you were more than familiar with. It was music, of a sort; the pulse in your ears acting as the bass while the cacophony of rattling spice jars and cracking eggshells composed unique melodies unlike anything else. 
Life was complicated, but food was simple. Customizing pastries and generating new recipes was an outlet for any emotion you could dream of. Tugging at the strands of dough helped soothe the tension in your shoulders, a symptom of the intense restlessness you’d been feeling since Frank left. Though his text had confirmed that he was alive, you couldn’t help but wallow in a feeling of gut-wrenching regret as you lived without him. If something happened to him out there, you’d never be able to tell him–
Shaking your head fiercely to clear the anxious thoughts from your mind, you raced to the walk-in, once again pouring your jittery energy into a recipe rather than letting your composure erode into nothing. Stabilizing the precarious tower of ingredients you’d stacked with your chin, you tread cautiously over to a clean station, unceremoniously dumping the contents onto the steel bench before popping your head out to the front. 
“Stace, you want somethin’ to eat?” You called to the girl, who was currently standing by the register on her phone. 
“What are you making?” She barely lifted her head with the question and her ambivalence made you snort. 
“Oh, you know, same old.”
With a small shrug, Stacy nodded. “Sure, why not.” 
Grinning, you ducked back into the kitchen and popped the lid off of the industrial blender, quickly whipping up two vibrantly colored and impeccably garnished bowls for the pair of you. Passing a spoon to Stacy, you smiled as she dug in eagerly.
“What, you didn’t eat breakfast this morning?” You giggled, reveling in the way her eyes lit up as she ate. 
“Had a feeling you’d be cooking up a storm today.” Stacy replied, tilting her head at you knowingly. “You tend to do that when you’re mopey, and I’m never opposed to a free meal.”
Rolling your eyes, you huffed in defiance. “I’m not ‘mopey’.” 
“No?” Your dark-haired friend smirked. “That’s why you’re staring at that stupid bowl like it killed your family?” 
Ignoring her pointed look, you angled the bowl slightly differently before pulling out your phone. 
“It’s a pretty meal. I wanted to take a picture.” You reasoned, snapping a few photos of the deep violet mixture. 
“To send to lover boy?” Stacy snorted, wiggling her eyebrows at you. 
“No! I mean, maybe, I guess. I mean—“ You spluttered and Stacy laughed boisterously. “Shut up!!” Pouting, you shoved your phone back into the pocket of your apron and stuck a spoon into your breakfast. 
“C’mon, princess, don’t let my teasing interrupt your pitiful flirting attempts. I’m sure he wants to hear from you.” Stacy’s expression was nonchalant, as always, but her gaze softened when your shoulders slumped. “I’m serious. He’s like, embarrassingly into you.” 
“I think you might be confused about which of us is ‘embarrassingly into’ the other.” You whined, burying your face in your hands. 
“Oh you’re pathetically head over heels for him too, that’s why you have no game.” 
Scoffing, you shoved at her shoulder. “You know what, I don’t need to be insulted like this. Get out of my kitchen.”
“It’s not insulting, it’s true!” She chuckled, eating the remaining few bites of her food as you struggled to force her out the double doors. 
“Out, out, out!” You panted, finally getting her across the threshold. 
The whoosh of air from the batwing doors blew stray hairs from your face, giving you pause. Did it matter why you reached out to him? He seemed to appreciate it…
“Fuck it.” 
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Frank turned the cheap off-white mug in his hands, letting the quickly fading warmth seep through the material and into his palms as he looked out the streaky window. A gray hue had settled over the rural town he was camped out in, courtesy of the building storm on the horizon. The clouds mimicked his mental state, growing darker by the minute as the world remained stagnant. 
A low buzz caught his attention, his hand shooting out to stop his phone from vibrating off of the table. Flicking the screen open, his heart swelled with affection, like a ray of sunshine peeking through the barrier in the sky. 
You: *image* It’s official, I’m becoming a hipster. I was more concerned about this photo than eating my breakfast.
Not attempting to hide his smile, Frank shoved his empty cup aside to free his thumbs. 
Frank: Well, it looks so good, I might have to forgive you. What is it?
You: A smoothie bowl, very easy to make and quite tasty.
Frank: Never had one of those before. Looks good though, sunshine.
You: Thanks, sweetheart. I’ll make you one sometime.
Frank inhaled deeply, imagining that you were nearby and he could smell your soft vanilla soap. The thought of you cooking for him upon his return warmed his heart while simultaneously cracking it in two. He missed you dearly. Drawing his forearms into his chest, he took a picture of his own food, frowning at the grainy quality of the picture as it sent.
Frank: It ain’t as pretty as yours, but I’m eating breakfast myself.
The remnants of a stack of bland pancakes and some tough bacon paled in comparison to the gorgeous, speckled smoothie thing you’d sent him. Why it was in a bowl and not a cup, he wasn’t sure, but clearly you knew what you were doing so who was he to judge? A few seconds passed and Frank briefly wondered if he’d said something wrong. Before he could preemptively apologize, another bubble appeared on the screen.
You: Glad you are able to feed yourself without my help. I was starting to wonder…
Frank: Oh shut up, you goof. I do miss your cooking though.
You: Just my cooking?
His fingers hovered over the glass display, his brain scrambling for a response that didn’t reveal just how gone he was for you. In the end, he couldn’t find one.
Frank: Not just your cooking, honey. I have some work to do, but take care of yourself and Max for me, will you? 
You: Of course, Frankie. Have a good day :)
Frank: You too, sunshine.
Clicking the power button on his phone, Frank flipped it over, settling his head against his rough hands and massaging his forehead. Coward.
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The shrill ringing of his alarm shattered the remnants of his uneasy slumber. Whipping his arm out from under the sheets, he stopped the piercing noise with a frustrated growl. Sitting up was a process, thanks to the new bullet wounds in his shoulder and hip—a true testament to how sideways yesterday night had gone. Madani’s brief had implied that this would be a cut and dry operation. Get in, confirm the sale, contact her team, leave. He’d been given strict orders to not shoot unless absolutely necessary. 
Which was a great plan, in theory. Frank was more than on board with it, even if the whole “no shooting” thing lengthened the process. If it kept him on Madani’s good side, and still managed to get him home before Lisa’s birthday, he could live with it. 
Apparently, the rookie member of Madani’s team was not so thrilled with Frank “stealing” so much of the glory. After Frank’s recon session and subsequent confirmation of the sale, the former Marine was about to call for backup when a scrawny 20-something kid darted into the dark warehouse after the arms dealers, holding nothing but a goddamn glock. Anticipating bloodshed, Frank was grumbling and sprinting after him before the gunshots started. 
Pulling the kid out by the straps of his ill-fitting bullet-proof vest was a task Frank managed by the skin of his teeth, procuring two moderate injuries in the process. Of course, the knowledge that the FBI was on their tail sent the arms dealers into a frenzy. Frank was sure they’d crossed state lines before Madani was even done screaming. Honestly, he half expected the poor woman to have steam coming out of her ears–she’d cussed at the kid with words even Frank considered impolite. 
Not that he could blame her, he was fuming all the same, especially when Madani had explained that he wasn’t off the hook for the mission and should head back to the motel to await further instructions. As if he was reliving it, the conversation that followed played in his head on a loop, their screaming match echoing off the walls of his brain. 
“For fuck’s SAKE, Madani, I did what you wanted–why should I be punished for the stupidity of this asshole?”
“Oh, he’ll be dealt with, believe me. But the agreement was to get Roshev and Miller into my custody. Not give my team a half-assed warning and head back to New York scot free.”
“Half-assed–you’re fucking joking. I had to ditch the objective to rescue YOUR DAMN AGENT.”
“Go back to your room, Frank. I won’t ask again.”
“You’re not–”
“That’s an ORDER, Castle.”
So here he was: waking up on a shitty mattress, his skin and hair still streaked with dirt and blood (because the crappy water pressure and freezing temperature had infuriated him to the point that he’d cut his shower short after cleaning his wounds), in pain and in desperate need of a better cup of coffee than anyone around here was capable of brewing. 
On top of that, it was his dead daughter’s 18th birthday–a fact that hung over him like a cloud of poisonous gas, slowly squeezing the air from his lungs, and he was powerless to stop it. He wanted to scream, to cry, to grieve for her, to do something, anything–but instead he was fucking stuck here, beneath Madani’s thumb until she tired of him. 
It was naive to think that he’d be home today, maybe drinking coffee that you had made specifically for him, bringing flowers to the cemetery, taking Max for a walk, trying to have a quiet day in Lisa’s memory instead of waiting around to deal with two scumbags who got paid to arm other criminals. He should have just shot them.
Rubbing the sleep from his eyes with a rough hand, he stalked to the bathroom to clean up–given that a man covered in blood would probably scare the poor waitress at the diner down the street shitless. As he was rubbing a towel through his hair, his phone buzzed–presumably with a curt message from Madani about something else he’d done wrong. Groaning internally, he braced himself for another argument, but it never came. 
Instead, his phone had an unopened message from you. Flicking open the home screen, he felt a weight fall off his shoulders as he pulled up the photo you’d attached. 
It was a beautiful picture of you holding a basket of vibrantly colored cherries in the midst of some sort of farmer’s market. Your delicate features were highlighted by an array of pinks and oranges, courtesy of the sunrise in the background. Your smile was bright, your eyes sparkling as you beamed at the camera. 
Your first message was a simple explanation of your morning activities. 
You: It’s market day! I bought these gorgeous cherries to make some tarts. I’ll save you one ;)
As he was rereading the message, allowing his general irritation to fade as thoughts of you flooded his brain, his phone vibrated again. 
You: Thinking of you today. I’m just a text away if you need anything ❤️
Sinking down onto the motel bed, his throat constricted as he processed the sentiment. He was surprised that you remembered today was hard for him, even more so that you offered to be a line of support. But that was exactly who you were, wasn’t it? Someone who cared so deeply for the people around her, and for some fucking reason that included Frank. 
Typing and retyping a response to you, Frank blew out a breath. He felt almost…jittery. 
Frank: Thanks, sunshine. That means a lot. I’m looking forward to that cherry tart when I get back. 
You: I’ll make you as many as you want, Frankie. 
Lips twitching, he imagined you whirling around your kitchen in one of your signature patterned dresses making him a special batch of pastries. His heart squeezed painfully; your absence was taking a toll on him that he had not expected. Before he could consider his next message to you, Madani’s number flashed on the screen, indicating an incoming call. Lips curling into a silent snarl, he answered. 
“What, Madani?” He rumbled out.
“Well, good morning to you too, sunshine.” Her response wasn’t meant to dig under his skin, she simply meant it as a superficial jab, but the inclusion of the pet name he associated with you ignited a white hot anger in his gut, feral and hungry. 
“The fuck do you want,” He bit out. 
“Watch your tone, Castle. Remember who owes whom a favor here.”
Rolling his eyes, he brought out a more polite tone. “Yes, ma’am.”  
She huffed across the line, “Fuck you too. We found them. I’ll send the coordinates now.” 
“Lookin’ forward to it.” He ended the call.
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Stretching your legs as best you could beneath the hefty pitbull, you sighed. 
It had been hours since Frank’s last text and you were not handling it well–the image of the little typing bubble on his side of the text chain haunting your every moment. Logically, the presence of those three flashing dots just meant he had started to type something and then forgot or had something else to attend to, but that knowledge didn’t quell the anxiety growing in your chest. 
He was out there, doing god knows what, on his daughter’s 18th birthday, presumably alone and hurting–and there was nothing you could do but wait. And cook him a lasagna of course. Which you had, giving your apartment the pleasant aroma of onions, tomatoes, and ricotta cheese as the dish baked. 
Your consciousness vibrated with the tenacity of an anxious chihuahua, listless with boredom and concern about your sweetheart of a neighbor. Squirming out from under Max’s head, you chuckled as the sleepy pitbull huffed in annoyance. “Sorry, bubba. I need to move around.”
In the final 30 minutes that you lasagna baked, you managed to throw together some simple pastry dough and pull out the small basket of cherries from your fridge. Popping one of the scarlet fruits into your mouth, you began to pluck the remaining stems off before removing their pits. Once they’d been sufficiently prepped, and your hands were adequately smattered with droplets of maroon fruit juice, you dumped them unceremoniously into a pot to create a compote. It didn’t necessarily pair well with lasagna, but you’d promised Frank a cherry pastry. 
Originally, you’d considered making him a cherry basil frangipane, identical to the ones you’d stacked in the bakery’s display case that morning. But, after the day he’d probably had, you figured he’d want something…less intricate. The compliment you’d given him during his first visit to the cafe still held true–Frank was simple and honest. He wasn’t difficult to please, but fancy words and expensive ingredients alone wouldn’t cut it. The food had to be good. So, you pulled out all the stops, making a recipe that you hadn’t made since you lived with Leo: cherry turnovers. 
Unlike your wonderful neighbor, the majority of patrons in the city needed a reason besides quality to continue giving you business. Elaborately decorated pastries and unique flavor profiles were what kept the cafe in business, so you hadn’t tried selling a modest dessert like these since your first few weeks at the Rainy Day Bakery. It was familiar, comforting even. You hoped it would bring Frank similar satisfaction. 
Trading the bubbling lasagna for a tray of triangle-shaped pastries, you brushed your hands on your hips. Re-covering the pasta dish, you hurriedly cleaned your kitchen, wiping away the traces of flour and sugar that inevitably dusted your countertops after you baked. As you rinsed out the mixing bowl, a high-pitched whimper popped the bubble of silence surrounding your apartment. Sitting rigidly by the door to your apartment, Max’s dark eyes pleaded with you. 
“Gosh, you’re right, bud! It is dinner time. I’m sorry, I got carried away. Let’s go get you set up, huh?” 
Snatching Frank’s spare key from your counter, you attached Max’s thick leash to his collar and jogged him back to his apartment, adding an extra handful of kibble as an apology for making him wait. Stroking his short fur a few times, you slipped the key into your pocket, scurrying back over to your apartment to grab the turnovers before they caught fire and reduced the building to ashes. 
Carefully balancing the pastries and lasagna in your hands, you marched back over to Frank’s apartment. Pretty soon, and with only one close call, the food was lined up on Frank’s countertop to cool. Brushing your hands together, you admired your handiwork. 
“Please tell me ya haven’t been sittin’ here with the door open all night.” 
The gruff voice behind you made you jump in shock. Whirling around, your fear morphed into pure joy as you took in the ruggedly handsome man before you.
“Shit, Frankie! You snuck up on me.” You practically squealed, rushing to hug him in greeting. He grunted as you slammed against him, hissing as you squeezed your arms around his hips. Eyes widening in realization, you started to pull back. “Oh fuck, you’re hurt, aren’t you? I’m so sorry, I–” 
Before you could unwrap your arms from his body, his broad hands splayed across your back, muscular arms tugging you back against his firm chest. 
“‘M fine, honey.” Came Frank’s soothing rumble. You felt him press a kiss to your crown before he buried his face in your hair. “Missed you like crazy, sunshine.” His voice was soft, as if he didn’t want you to hear the darling confession. 
“God, I missed you too, Frankie.” You chuckled, your eyes prickling with tears, your body in awe of your own honesty. With his stubbled chin atop your head and his thick arms around your waist, you felt entirely sheltered by his body. He’d created a bubble of safety and serenity for you, as he always did. 
Remaining in his arms, you shifted out from under his head to examine him. Though you’d felt it across your scalp, his beard was noticeably overgrown and in need of a trim. His hair greasy and mussed, streaked with grime, just like his face. The skin of his face was tinged red, with blush or sunburn you weren’t quite sure, and the bags under his eyes were deep. In spite of yourself, your bottom lip stuck out, brow pinching in concern. Bringing a hand up to cradle his face, you stroked a thumb gently over his cheek, careful to avoid the sizeable bruise across it. 
“Oh sweetheart. What did they do to you?” You asked quietly, feeling choked up as the hulking man nuzzled into your touch, his eyes falling shut with a weary sigh. 
“It’s nothin’.” He murmured, his words worn out—as if he’d spoken them so many times they’d lost all meaning. 
“Then it shouldn’t take long to get you cleaned up.” You smiled, the gesture not making it to your eyes. Standing on your tiptoes, you pressed a kiss to his prickly cheek before unwinding his arms from your waist. He started to retract his arms, to tuck them against his sides, but you caught his fingers with yours, grasping his hands tenderly. “Come sit, sweetheart. You must be exhausted.” 
The poor man didn’t argue. Instead, he let you tug him to the couch and sit him down, his lips twitching with fond amusement when you tucked a blanket around his shoulders. “This ain’t mine.” 
You shrugged, the hint of a smirk tugging at your lips. “I redecorated.” 
“I was barely gone three days.” Frank snorted, rolling his eyes at you. 
Poorly stifling a smile as you pretended to be annoyed, you spoke as though it was obvious why you’d done it. “Your apartment is freezing, Frank. Did you want me and Max to get hypothermia while you were gone?” 
He huffed a laugh. “Still bossy.” Letting his head tip back to meet the spine of the couch, his eyes fluttered shut. Your cool touch manifested on his cheek once again. 
“Do you have a first aid kit, Frankie?” 
“Under the bathroom sink.” He answered, his words slurred ever so slightly with fatigue. He received a slight squeeze of his arm in response, your warm fingers leaving a lasting imprint on his skin. 
A year ago, he would never have let himself have this—a moment of peace. Time to let his guard down, to trust someone else to ease his pain. But the combination of his aching body, his heavy eyelids, and your fussing nature had him letting go of a tension he’d held for years, and he couldn’t bring himself to care. 
Soft footsteps alerted him to your presence. Though his eyes were closed, he could hear you shuffle into a crouch, your chest positioned at his knees. 
Stifling a groan, he straightened his posture, wincing slightly as the motion tugged on his day old stitches. His eyes immediately focused on your adorable form in front of him, your own gaze roaming over the various bruises covering his visible skin. Dipping a washcloth into a small bowl of water, you gently lifted his wrist, washing away the dried blood on his knuckles. As you worked, a small river of dirty water–tinged pink from his scarlet blood–dripped down his fingers and onto your dress. 
He watched the trio of droplets fall, time slowing as if to highlight the moment that reignited his anxiety. Splashing across the multicolored fabric, the liquid seeped into your skirt, staining it as you held his hand. Your kindness was endless, and his presence was tarnishing it, ruining it, ruining you. 
Jerking his hand backwards, he cradled it close to his chest. “Lemme do this. I’m gettin’ blood on your pretty dress, sunshine.” He started to stand but you shook your head, gently pushing him back into the cushion and taking his hand in your grasp once again. 
Looking directly into his eyes with an intensity that you always seemed to carry, your lips curved into a small smile. “Frank, it’s just a dress, sweetheart. I promise it’s ok. Let me help you?” With your free hand, you stroked a wayward strand of his hair off of his clammy forehead.
Despite the fact that your gaze conveyed your desire to continue patching him up regardless of his answer, your tone was stilted–giving him the option to deny your help. 
“You’re too sweet for your own damn good, you know.” He sighed, letting his arm go limp in your grip to let you finish what you’d started. 
“Well, you’re too stoic for yours. Makes us quite a pair, doesn’t it?” Your eyes glimmered roguishly, your smirk encouraging him to roll his eyes. 
“Whatever you say, sunshine.” He snorted, knowing full well that you were right. 
You made quick work of tidying up the split skin across his knuckles, moving on to the bruised skin of his cheeks. 
“Didn’t know you were growing this out, Frankie.” You quipped, tugging gently on the untamed curls of his beard. 
His lips twitched, revealing a glimpse of his teeth as he smiled. “Wasn’t plannin’ on it. Whaddya think?” 
Making a great show of shuffling back to study his face, you tapped your chin. “I like it.” 
“You do? Last time it was this long, everyone thought I was some sort of hipster.” 
Shrugging, you focused your eyes back on the cloth in your hand. “I always like how you look, Frankie.” 
Frank’s breath caught in his throat, unable to quite make it to his lungs. Thankfully, he could blame his lack of response on the fact that you were rinsing the injuries on his face, rather than his own lack of emotional intelligence. 
Eventually, you heaved out a breath, looking at him with a raised brow. “Did you want me to look at whatever’s bothering you here?” You asked, gesturing to his hip. 
“If I told ya I have no idea what you mean, would ya call me on it?” He grumbles, not quite sure how he’d feel revealing that much of himself to you. 
You thought for a minute. Nodding once, you answered. “I’d roll my eyes, but respect your desire for privacy.” 
Swallowing thickly, he huffed a nervous laugh. “Fair enough.” With two fingers, he tugged his loose shirt up and over his head, not bothering to disguise his grimace as he rotated his injured shoulder. Pulling the waistband of his pants down an inch, he suddenly felt a surge of fear, not sure how you’d react to seeing his array of scars. 
Inhaling sharply, you traced around his stitches with a finger. “Oh, Frank.” 
“It’s—“
“It’s not nothing.” Taking his hands again, your intensity returned. “You mean something to me. Seeing you hurt…it’s never nothing, ok? Not to me.”
A lump formed in his throat, he nodded as he tried to swallow it down. “Sorry.” 
“No apology necessary,” You squeezed his hands, placing a tender kiss on the raw knuckles of his right hand before grabbing a roll of bandages from your pile of supplies. “I’m not upset that you’re hurt. I just don’t want you to be afraid to lean on someone else for a change.” 
You dressed his larger wounds in contemplative silence, your soft skin a welcome change to the rough contact he was used to. 
“How’d ya learn to patch people up, sunshine? Playin’ nurse for other neighborhood menaces behind my back?” 
You giggled. “You’re my only patient currently. Cross my heart. I’ve just gotten used to first aid after injuring myself my whole life.” 
Bringing a hand up to cup your cheek, Frank’s brow furrowed. “Injurin’ yourself? What do you mean?” 
Eyes widening in realization, you shook your head. “Not intentionally! I’ve just been a klutz for as long as I can remember.” Chuckling sheepishly, you added, “Takes a toll every once in a while.” 
Laughing with relief, he traced a finger along your jaw as he withdrew his hand from your face. “Ah, gotcha. Christ, had me scared there, pretty girl.” 
Your face flushed with heat at the new pet name. You tied off the fresh bandages and stood up. “You should be good to go, unless you’ve got any other areas that need to be looked at?” 
Blushing as his mind traveled to less innocent places, he shook his head. “I’m fine, honey. Thank you. Really.”
“Anytime, sweetheart.” You winked at him, heading to the kitchen to dispose of the dirty water and trash. As you rinsed the last of the grime from the bowl you’d used, Frank moaned behind you. 
“Holy shit.” His words were mumbled around a mouthful of pastry, the other half of a cherry turnover in his hand. Swallowing with another horrifically attractive noise, he lifted the dessert in a gesture. “Did you make these?” 
“Yes, but they were for after dinner!” You scolded, your smile completely betraying your feigned annoyance. “Cherry turnovers. Do you like them?”
“No, they’re awful.” Frank deadpanned, shoving the rest of the pastry into his mouth ungracefully. You giggled, uncovering the lasagna before he could reach for another turnover. 
“Would you like some actual food, you heathen?” You asked through stray laughs. 
“You made me a lasagna?” 
“Thought you might want some comfort food today. So I made two of my favorites.” 
“Thank you,” Frank spoke your name gravely, as if it was a prayer. “God, sunshine, I dunno what to say.” Your heart ached as his voice cracked around the words.
“You don’t need to say anything, handsome. Just eat, so you can rest soon, yah?” 
Frank couldn’t help but let the tension he’d been carrying for days roll off his back like droplets of water, his eyes crinkling with fondness as you puttered around his kitchen as if you had it memorized. You plated two hearty servings of lasagna and took a seat next to him, handing him a fork. 
“I’m glad you made it back safely.” You smiled, your gaze more timid than he’d ever seen it. 
“Me too, sunshine.” After placing a kiss on your forehead, he speared the fork into the food on his plate, taking a massive bite. 
“You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me.” Frank groaned, beaming at you. 
Laughing brightly, you took a bite of your own, overjoyed to have Frank to eat with again. 
Thanks for reading! As always, comments and reblogs are incredibly appreciated.
Taglist: @cheshirecat484@xxdrix@smhnxdiii@mattmurdocksstarlight@danzer8705
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sgiandubh · 1 year ago
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And kia... ora (?!) to New Zealand, like you've never seen it before 🤭
Just listened to Monica Gleberman's latest podcast with S. Twice. I can only urge you to do the same: it's 19 minutes long and well.. I'd just love to read your thoughts on it. By the way, I had no idea the woman even existed (happens a lot in SC world, at least to me) before she chimed in with indignation, you know... the Palestine Letter, and such.
But first, my short assessment, of course. By the way, this was recorded, I think, on November 1st, based on this X post:
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Showbiz being showbiz, all grudge is now forgotten and you can listen to the podcast on Spotify, here (no subscription needed, of course):
OK, I honestly think her voice and her completely clueless, torrential debit are totally meh, but maybe that's just me. She made me think of one of those Tupperware representatives, always eager (hungry?) to sell something to you and do it quick, drug-dealer style. Some in Mordor thought she was drunk on the job (a half-emptied bottle of SS Gin was emphatically mentioned at least twice during the interview) - as usually, no humor and nasty.
I just think she was just acting too cool for school and #silly, with a severe case of ovaries going...
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... on top.
Straight off the bat, the OTT praise is on steroids: how amazing S is, how he never changed, 'same sweetest person and like an amazing human being and friend to talk to and I just love you'. Kill me now, but that was unnecessary - yet still useful, since it prompted this answer (02:54):
'Well, that's very kind of you to say, but I think that's not true...I think there's...there's a lot of smoke and mirrors, this is ALL fake, um...underneath, there's a completely different human being. I have a double, actually. I AM the double. Um.. no, it's been a great journey, I'm very lucky and yeah, it's [OL] given me a lot of opportunities, as well (...).'
Translation: I am joking, but not even joking, if you see what I mean.
You'd think that was casual banter? You might want to think twice. Like all Taureans, bless their heart, S always almost heavily insists, when he wants to make sure the message gets across (07:12):
MG: ' Soooo, I don't know what's true, what's not true, but I'm just gonna assume that, you know, you looove watercolor. So, what is your favorite watercolor painting to make?'
Huh? Did I get that right? The answer does not match the clumsy question. At all. But see/hear for yourself:
S:' Err, you know what, I mean, I actually do, I actually have a couple paintings.. um.. from a..an artist called James Morrison, he was a Scottish artist.. he.. he actually painted a lot around Scotland, but he also painted up in the Arctic... the Arctic Circle... I'm kind of obsessed with him, so yes, this actually,,, this is truth...damn, I didn't know you'd actually put truths in here, but, you know...'
MG: ' OK, so we're already breaking barriers, right? Like revealing secrets so that is... that is... true.'
I shall not comment this. I do not think it needs any translation, to be honest.
The 'illiterate' S is, apparently, a keen art connoisseur and how could it be otherwise, if you only think of his mum? And Morrison is not just your average Scottish watercolorist. If you care to check his Wikipedia page (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Morrison_(artist), you'll find interesting things, like:
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His works can fetch at auction (here at Christie's in 2006), around...
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... and the recent (conservative) estimates are stable. You can check them here: https://www.invaluable.com/artist/morrison-james-1932-9fybkaiqbc/sold-at-auction-prices/. A very good investment, on a volatile, whimsical market (I know very well what I am talking about).
Surely enough, some of you will just hear that horrendous cackle and the flirt fest that totally goes south by the end of the podcast. But maybe - just maybe - if you listen a bit more carefully, you'd have a rare peek behind that damn mask.
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