#i'd be getting us to that fucking stage! he thinks it's because i'm catholic (he's ex-catholic)

[reginaofdoctorwho]

coming to the awful conclusion i might have to go to my sister for guy advice :/ gonna try to go to the one least likely to talk to my mom about

[diazsdimples]

What do u say about these supposed hard core fans that are shipping buck Tommy? They gonna make the writers keep that homophobe around 😰

I am entirely the wrong person to ask about this.

Firstly, I ship Bucktommy AND Buddie. And this is possible! You are allowed to see Buck be happy with a man for the first time (how fucking good!!) but also wish upon the nearest star that he ends up with Eddie in the end. I truly believe Buddie is endgame but at the moment, I am more delighted at the fact that Buck is happy, with a man, experiencing a positive queer relationship.

The reason I ship Bucktommy is because look! at! how! happy! this! boy! is!!! I will ship ANY person that makes my little blorbo as happy and blushy and giggly as Evan Buckley is when he's with Tommy Kinard. He is SMITTEN. Do I think they're endgame? Not at the moment, no. Would I be upset if they were? I'd mourn the fuck out of Buddie, but I would be glad that Buck is finally happy and comfortable in a relationship. His happiness is paramount.

For the reasons why Buck's bisexual arc is more important than a ship, please read this post. It talks about the importance of representation in current media, and my own experiences of coming to terms with my bisexuality just before this arc was aired. What we're seeing with Buck's story is revolutionary, really. We haven't seen this kind of thing happen in media much at all and it is so important to show.

For any issues regarding Tommy, please read this post by the lovely @slightlyobsessedwitheverything. They beautifully go through all his appearances and break them down for us and I would urge you to read it with an open mind.

Now, about Eddie. I am an Eddie girlie (gn) through and through. That is my babygirl and I adore him with every fibre of my being. I would love nothing more than to see him go through a queer arc. However, right now, Eddie is not in the place to do so. We saw from the last episode that he's an untapped reservoir of Catholic guilt, and it's gonna take a lot to work through that, before he can have any kind of realisation re: Buck. He's very much in his comphet days but is starting to take some steps towards undoing some of his old habits, like getting Marisol to move out when he realises they're moving too fast.

With this in mind, I think it would be too rushed and too early for Buddie to get together right now. Yeah they've had many seasons of being married and living out of one another's pockets but given the stages of life they are both in, I feel it wouldn't end as well as we'd like it to. Eddie isn't in the right place for it. Buck is exploring his sexuality. They need time to learn and grow and do some serious thinking and realising before they can even begin to contemplate a relationship together.

Regarding the "homophobe", I am assuming this is referring to Edy Ganem and not Lou Ferrigno Jr. I would like it noted for the record that I cannot stand Edy and therefore cannot stand Marisol. If Meddie were to be endgame, I'd fume. They have no chemistry. They do not suit one another. And I don't believe Edy should be given a platform to spread her hateful rhetoric, and I hope the last we see of her is 7x07. I'm a little mad it wasn't 7x05 but there we go.

However, Tommy and Buck's storyline and Eddie and Marisol's storyline are entirely separate. The only thing that links them are Buck and Eddie, and their friendship. I don't believe that Tommy's existence means Marisol is going to stick around and I find it a little odd that you do. Buck can and has had relationships that aren't Eddie. Eddie can and has had relationships that aren't Buck. Buck being in a relationship does not mean Eddie will also be in one. Tommy's existence does not confirm Marisol's continued existence.

My current best case scenario is Eddie being single by the end of 7x07 (please god), and Buck and Tommy continuing their relationship, so Buck has the opportunity to learn and experience same-sex relationships while Eddie has the time to deconstruct his true feelings, get therapy, work through 30+ years of repression, and then they'll be ready.

ALSO I DO NOT WANT BUCK TO CHEAT ON TOMMY WITH EDDIE. WE ARE NOT HERE FOR THAT.

Best case scenario, sometime towards the end of s7 or beginning of s8, Buck and Tommy decide that they both want different things out of life, have an amicable split that doesn't leave either of them hurt, Tommy sticks around as a recurring character because he's ingrained in the 118 again, Eddie's doing his therapy thing and then maybe mid s8 him and Buck can start coming to some realisations with a potential for Buddie moments towards the end of s8. Honestly anything else would seem too rushed.

The final point I'd like to make is that I find it extremely odd that you call people who ship Bucktommy "supposed hardcore fans". Shipping anything other than Buddie doesn't make you any less of a fan. Actually, I'd argue it shows a bit more commitment to the characters as you're willing to be open to them growing as humans and expanding on the personalities that we love. If Buddie is the only reason you watch the show, I feel you should re-evaluate your motivation. This show has so many great ships, such as Bathena, Henren and Madney, as well as Buddie and Bucktommy, and considering this is an ensemble show, we should show all of them as much love as the other. These characters are so intertwined with one another and that's what makes this show so worth watching. Watching for 2 characters and 2 characters only is not getting the full enjoyment out of it.

I hope this answered your questions and gave you something to reflect on. As I say, I'm not the right person to ask about this as I too ship Bucktommy, currently have 2 Bucktommy fics in my drafts and watch them kiss at least 10 times a day. And for future reference, I will be unfollowing/blocking people who throw tantrums about not getting Buddie so far, or who believe you can only ship Buddie and feel superior for doing so. Have a good rest of your day.

[huntunderironskies]

Actually. Sorry, I know I said I don't like talking about joseimuke on this account because it makes me sound deranged, but I have to share this (esp since I try to keep my sideblog more positive because God knows we need it.)

So one of the projects I like to keep up with is Cordgem, which. God how do I explain this. Uh, okay, so Cordgem takes place in steampunk alternate history Japan while there's a zombie apocalypse going on, which is only focused on some of the time because we need to think about the REAL drama which is the idol stage battles sorry, I've received a note from the writers the word I'm supposed to use is 歌仙衆 and not idol group, which means.... oh goddamnit how the fuck am i supposed to read this-- oh wait, there's furigana. That means Kasenshuu, of course. What's a Kasenshuu?

Uh, well, that's a great question. I am definitely not stalling for time while frantically tabbing through a kanji dictionary to tell you the answer. In this case, 歌仙 (kasen) is a term used to refer to particularly legendary poets of classical Japanese literature. I think this has been translated into English as "Immortal Poets" (the 仙 in it is used in other phrases to refer to Daoist immortals!) Then the 衆 (shuu) part is a large group of people, so...Immortal Poet Gang Battles. That's what they're having. Not idol stage battles. Important distinction.

Hey, note to my editor, I'm highlighting this so I can come back later and come up with a translation that's not awful. Absolutely willing to bounce ideas off you. Thanks.

You are probably starting to see why translator burnout is an issue and why I don't usually do it in text-heavy mediums. In fact I am absolutely positive I've gotten something wrong here in my research but I've spent like half the day going down rabbit holes trying to work out the worldbuilding here because I don't know that much about Meiji era Japan. In fact this could be Taisho era, I'm getting really thrown off by the fact that one unit seems to be wearing uniforms closer to Taisho fashion and I can't tell if I'm just massively overthinking it.

A final bit of background information: joseimuke fandom in EN-speaking countries survives largely on unpaid fan translators. The number of projects that get ported over to the US and translated properly has only recently exceeded numbers that can be counted on one hand. There are a lot of reasons why that's the case and most of it can be explained as corporate bullshit. Either way, fandoms in EN remain very small, grassroots affairs.

So there's been...an attempt to translate it. I generally avoid trying to do my own work on a project that's already been "claimed" by another translator. One, to avoid burnout because there's way more than you'd think out there that either got orphaned by their translators or haven't been touched yet, two, out of respect for the work of other people who are passionate about the same very niche things I am. I'd considered trying to translate it, saw that someone on a formerly blue bird site was working on character bios, and dropped the idea to focus on Executioner instead. A quick look showed they weren't just manually copying from Google Translate so I decided to leave it be and work on my own stuff.

Anyways, back to steampunk zombie Meiji (possibly Taisho, results unclear) era Japan. One of the groups who's dealing with the zombie apocalypse front is a duo unit of offbrand Catholic priests. Here they are.

Badly cropped screenshot of the site because I refuse to spend any more effort on this than I already have and ripping art assets takes a while. All I will say is, yes, your eyes do not deceive you, Agito (the guy on the left) isn't wearing pants. At least he managed to put on half a shirt.

Now, I can hear you through the computer screen, because I'm psychic. You're saying, "Why does the one priest look like the sole reason he can walk around without flashing people is prayer and an extensive amount of body tape?" This is a valid question, one that has yet to be answered by the writers. I hope such critical information will be addressed in their drama track, it will be very important for cosplayers to know. While often underappreciated, cosplayers are a valuable part of our community. You may also wonder, "Can you back up and explain literally anything about the world, like the Catholic Church We Have at Home who seem perfectly fine with their priests going around only about two-thirds dressed or the zombie apocalypse or the steampunk tech that apparently exists?" Also valid questions. I could but it's funnier if I don't. Besides, you saw how long I took trying to explain one kanji reading.

Anyways, I was very interested in them so I kept an eye for the translated version of their bios. Now, the translation that OP made for their title in the church was "Auror."

Yes, like in Harry Potter.

I was reasonably certain that Auror wasn't a real word, so a friend of mine checked, and it is indeed something that Jowling Kowling Rowling made up. So, how did this happen?

Well, checking back over their JP bios, the term used for their title is 闇祓い (lit. yami-harai). This combines the kanji for yami/darkness with the kanji for harai/ritual purification. Not even close to "Auror." However, 闇祓い was the phrase that the official JP translation for Harry Potter used instead of Auror (I'm assuming because the closest you could get in JP as a literal translation is something like オーラル/ooraru and that sounds...weird? Maybe? I don't know.) This is the term that google will spit out at you if you plug in the two together.

But, you know. Exorcist. The word was supposed to be something close to exorcist in this context, just a lot fancier and using cooler phraseology. You could probably come up with a fun localization if you're smarter than me. But they aren't wizard cops. Free my boys, one of them is a trust fund kiddie and the other is a freak but they still don't deserve to be associated with Harry Potter.

Just. I get it. It uses so many rarely used/archaic kanji readings that a lot of the in-universe terms have to be written with furigana above them just so people know how it's supposed to be read despite being aimed at adults. I made a joke about it above. And translating is really hard. I'm not even opposed to people who are relative beginners to learning Japanese using translation as a way to improve their language skills, I think it's a good way to do it. Also I would be a huge hypocrite if I condemned it because I'm doing it.

But if you see kanji in a combination that you don't recognize or looks off when you throw it into a machine translator, please. Please just get a kanji dictionary. There's online ones to use. Jisho is incredibly detailed. There are even some where if you can't copy in a kanji, you can draw it in a little prompt box. You don't have to get the stroke order right. The detection is really sophisticated. I know it sucks because it slows down the translation process a lot and people can be incredibly entitled about getting translations ASAP at the cost of quality but a little wait is worth it for making something you're proud of and that shows the quality of the series you're working on.

And doesn't commit a plagarism on an extremely cantankerous transphobe too, which is also important.

[anystalker707]

Pleasantly Surprising

Pairing: Gerard x Reader Word count: ~ 4 000 Genre: Fluff / Enemies to lovers Summary: (Y/n) meets a nice group of guys in a concert. Warning: Blood, but no violence or wounds description.

Requested on Wattpad

a/n: This one if for you blood kink bastards </3

(Y/p) = Your pronouns

Feeling the cold night air filling my lungs with a faint smell of grass is much better than the smoky and sweaty, heavy air present among the public that gets worse near the mosh pit. I lean back against the brick wall, feeling the cold surface through the thick jeans of my jacket, digging into my shoulder blades as I try to control my breathing, quietly watching the band leaving the stage to give place to another.

My throat feels dry, aching the slightest after I swallow around the sharp and cold breaths, so I look around for a stand to buy at least a soda, ankling over to the nearest one. The line isn't actually that long – thank hell –, but that doesn't prevent a random bastard from trying to cut in line.

"Hey, what in the fuck you think you're doing?" I raise an eyebrow, pulling them back by their collar and they just look at me with this sulky face, bottom lip sticking out and lip ring glowing lightly under the reduced lighting. "No cutting in!"

"Says who?" they retort bitterly. "What you gonna do about it?"

"Aw, bold, aren't we?" I raise an eyebrow, glancing down and... the motherfucker is wearing school clothes, lacking the tie and shirt untucked. Private school. "What are you? Not like the other kids? The line isn't even that long, stupid."

"Fuck off," they sigh, shrugging out of my grip and harshly fixing their clothes.

"Frank– Fuck, Frank, the hell, can't we leave you alone for a single second?" A random voice suddenly interrupts our interaction before a tall person approaches, a motherly and worried air lacing their gaze. They look from me to Frank before exhaling, raising an eyebrow, at which Frank shrugs. "I'm sorry for whatever Frank did, he–"

"Fuck, no, Ray!" Frank cuts them off, "you're not playing the good guy here! I was just trying to–"

"Trying to cut in the line, yeah, very nice of you, isn't it?" I roll my eyes, twisting my mouth. At least he isn't lying, but is he stupid or something? Why would he try to convince us what he was trying to do was alright?

It looks like Frank is going to argue for a second, but ends up just groaning through gritted teeth and looking away with a sigh and tense shoulders.

Ray doesn't look any amused, only observing Frank like who looks at a puzzle after having tried to solve it for weeks without success. They shake their head, turning to me instead. "I'm Ray, he/him, nice to meet you. Sorry for Frank, what he did is... unfortunately usual."

I observe him looking at him from head to toes. School uniform just like Frank's, tucked shirt, loose tie. "Hi. I'm (y/n), (y/p). And don't worry, I would've done the same," I breathe, looking away from the two to hand the person behind the counter the money after pointing to the drink I want.

"What?" Frank gasps. "You would've done the same and still acted all like that towards me?"

I roll my eyes, sighing. "Me doing it doesn't mean I like being affected by it." I grab the change, shoving it in my pocket then step aside for Frank and Ray, cracking the can open.

"Y'know–" Frank crosses his arms over his chest, throwing his nose in the air, "–my momma says that you should treat the others as you want to be–"

"Aw, honey, so you'd like me cutting in the line right in front of you? Shamelessly?" I raise an eyebrow at him, unable to hold back a grin when his face gets bright red, hands balling into fists. Not gonna lie, it's kinda cute how he twists his mouth. Frank is about to curse when Ray is shoving a couple of cans into his hands – a sigh leaves his lips instead. "Two for each?" I question and sip on my drink.

Frank smirks, looking at me with humor. "Yeah, wanna watch me drink them at once?"

Ray rolls his eyes at Frank, shoving him out of the way after noticing there were people behind them. "We're actually with two other friends. Are you alone here? Do you wanna come along?" He smiles, ignoring Frank's complaints, so I opt for doing the same.

"I guess that'd be nice," I hum, shrugging. Otherwise, I'd be going home right now and Ray actually seems nice... I mean, Frank does too, but I'm not feeding his ego.

The other two stand against a brick wall when we find them, both quietly chatting to each other until seeing us approaching. The first one doesn't exactly react, more interested in the can Ray hands him, but the second, greasy punk, hums questioningly, straightening their posture as taking a good look at me almost like I did to Frank earlier. "And who are you?"

"(Y/n), (y/p)," I mutter, looking at them from over the rim of the can, taking a sip of my drink.

"Found lying in the trash when I approached," Frank adds, but doesn't seem so confident after I playfully shove him aside.

"Gerard, he/they," Gerard replies, eyes never averting away from mine. What is he, kind of a gang leader? Got a hell of an ego, though a bit differently from Frank – I'm noticing a pattern here, huh. "Mikey, he/him," he continues, nodding to the other guy.

I throw my empty can in a trashcan before leaning in towards Gerard. He tries to escape the touch, but he's against a wall, there's nowhere to go. How cute. "Belleville High," I say, finally able to make out what the small black letters embroidered on the chest area says, and step away, allowing Gerard to breathe. "Isn't it that private school? Catholic one? Wow, who'd know I'd find BH students here!"

"Stereotyping, are we?" Frank raises an eyebrow. It's impossible holding back a smile at him.

"No, never," I chuckle. "It's just a... rare occurrence. You came here right after school?"

"Not really." Ray shakes his head. "Just didn't have the opportunity to change. Good thing it's Friday, tho," he chuckles humorlessly and I nod in a silent agreement.

"And where do you study?" Frank takes a better look at my face. "If you study, that is."

I scoff, but don't reply just yet. Mikey is the most tidied up out of the four whereas Gerard has his tie loose around his neck, shirt untucked, blazer all wrinkled. "Of course I study, dumbass!" I glare. "But I'm in the public school near the park. But I've seen you before." I nod towards Gerard. "Just don't know where."

Gerard's eyes narrow. "Are you sure?"

"It's not always that I see a greasy vampire looking around, so yeah."

A silence hovers between us for a moment, both of us staring at each other until he feigns unamusement, looking away – I smile with a stupid pride swelling in my chest.

The night ends with us exchanging numbers after a solid hour of joking around and throwing sarcastic insults at each other. Teasing Gerard was particularly fun because he often ran away from the whole joking or at least tried to and even Mikey laughed when it failed, though sometimes succeeding when Frank finally managed to get the spotlight on himself. Ray is sweet, despite being the perfect example for 'looks like a cinnamon roll, but can actually kill you.'

Gerard got my attention, to be honest.

Saturday and Sunday go by quite slowly and thankfully texting the guys every five minutes doesn't make it as depressing as usual. Texting Gerard isn't the same as texting Frank – who replies a text to each word I send him –, however. Gerard often replies with a word or a vague comment and guess what? I'm only more interested.

No Gerard manages to slip between my thoughts during school, but it ends up happening as soon as I step past the gates. Belleville high, isn't it? Shitty elite, but they don't really seem to be like that... let's see if that wasn't just great acting. That's not even a mile away from here. I look down the street, the direction opposite to where I would usually go. It won't hurt to say hi, right? Not to mention I've got nothing to do for the rest of the day.

Belleville High's classes finish about ten minutes later compared to my school's, so I don't bother walking too fast, but not slow enough to let my palms get clammy or overthink anything. Amazing how I can feel like this about people I only met once. Okay, whatever, take a deep breath because I guess I know these curls.

"Look at who we have here!" I throw an arm around Frank's neck, interrupting whatever they were doing and attracting wide eyes towards me. Turns out I found them earlier than expected, hanging out in the park.

"Damn, are you everywhere?" Frank raises an eyebrow at me and presses his lips together, though never stepping away. Blood?

"Who knows?" I joke. "Also..." I trail off, only now taking a good look at them. "Man, what in the hell fucking happened to you guys? Seriously–" I yank a paper off Frank's back, sighing at the 'kick me' written across it and hand it to him, shaking my head. What fucking idiot did this? How the hell did they even get into a fight? It doesn't seem like they were fighting each other.

Frank groans poorly, wadding the paper into a ball and tossing it at the nearby trash can. He's got a few scratches above his eyebrows and blood trailing down the corner of his lips. Mikey and Gerard are probably in the best state out of the four – Gerard got blood trailing down his nose and same for Mikey, though on opposite sides and Mikey's cheek is smeared with blood. I can't say the same about Ray... I don't know how he's not even wincing with all that blood trailing down his face.

"Well," Mikey breathes, bringing a hand to the back of his head, "you can say that–"

"Why do you even want to know?" Gerard steps forward, hands clenched into fists by his sides. "You got nothing to do with it, okay?"

"Aw," I breathe a chuckle. So he wants things to happen like this? But does he have the nerve to keep it? I may not have known him for long, but the attitude is clearly foreign, unmatching. "And what, baby? You lost, didn't you? And you're a fucking sore loser!"

"I just don't see why you should know." He twists his mouth, looking at me uninterested, but it doesn't take long until he's looking at me with these eyes, irises barely seen, eyebrows scrunched close. "And don't talk to me like that! Maybe it would even be better if you fucked off and left us alone, don't you think?"

Man, he talks a lot. Too much. No wonder why he's in such a state. Maybe he'll shut up if I...

"Holy..." Frank trails off with a quiet chuckle and I'm certain Gerard would have glared at him if he wasn't processing what just happened.

Meanwhile, Mikey and Ray stare at me with wide eyes – as wide as Gerard's, but they're not as petrified as Gerard is, for sure, only with hesitant, unsure grins on their faces. I suppress the urge to laugh at Gerard, instead more focused on rubbing my tongue against the roof of my mouth, trying to get rid of the salty and metallic taste.

A quiet sound comes from Gerard as he finally moves, maybe a groan, not sounding really comfortable. He brings a hand up to his lips. The perfect trail of almost dry blood is now smudged, following the direction I licket it to, having the blood smeared across his chin and bottom lip. "Ugh, ugh, ugh," he groans, frantically cleaning his lips and chin with the back of his wrist, against the sleeve of his blazer. "What the fuck? You're gross!"

I roll my eyes with a sigh. "Man, I wonder why I thought being an asshole could be solved."

"Eh, trust me, he isn't normally like this," Ray says with a shrug, looking at Gerard like if he was a chained angry dog even after receiving a glare.

No one gives Gerard's tantrum much attention as we soon sit down on the grass and change the subject before we can notice. Surprisingly, Gerard sits down next to me. Even more surprisingly, he leans closer at some point and whispers, "well, look at who's the vampire now."

Saying Gerard's words got stuck in my head would be an understatement. Maybe it's a nightmare, maybe it's not, but it does get me randomly blushing or stupidly grinning during random times of the day. Nonetheless, school the following day does help a bit with cleaning my head a little.

After a few hours of staring at blackboards, the setting changes to staring at records hanging on the walls and it's honestly better. Incoherent, loud chatter being changed to music of my choice is a lot better, even if I need to talk to a customer now and then.

"This is the place I told you about. I've only been here once, but it seems good," a voice says from the outside, but I don't look up from my homework.

"Never been here," someone else says. A pause follows then their footsteps sound clearer and I sigh, shoving my things on the space under the counter.

"Hello, good afternoon," I say automatically, holding back a groan at how my eraser insists on falling and grabbing it fast. "How can I help you?" I finally look up just to freeze. And the four have the same reaction, to be honest. "I knew I had seen you before," I say to Gerard.

"What a small world!" Frank approaches, immediately narrowing his eyes and throwing his nose in the air as looking over to me. "So you're not a rebel who only wanders around and goes to free concerts during the night and stalks us?" He raises an eyebrow, looking around the place, inspecting the shelves full of records and CDs.

"So you only got one set of clothes?" I mock, staring at his school uniform.

Frank exhales, shoulders dropping. "We just got here from school." He motions vaguely to his messenger bag and I nod, humming, not like it matters a lot.

While we talk, Ray and Mikey wander around, talking quietly to each other and sometimes taking a record in hand, but Gerard... he stands there awkwardly, observing Frank and I with a lost gaze. What is he doing? Trying to act all cool like last time? Or doesn't know how to react?

"Hello," I greet, which sounds more like a question. Frank turns around to look at him, apparently understanding Gerard as much as I do.

Gerard presses his lips together and steps forward, also leaning against the counter. "You didn't mention you work here."

"Didn't have a reason to." I shrug.

The corner of his lips twitch and he's holding eye contact until sighing. "Okay, whatever. Got anything new on Misfits or Pumpkins? Also, Bauhaus." He glances at me, black strands falling over his eyes for a moment before he's pulling them away. Cute.

"Of course." I grin, moving to the cabinets behind the counter.

Frank eventually darts off as I show Gerard the records and cassettes like he wanted. I glance around to make sure Frank is paying attention to whatever Mikey is telling him and Ray before I turn to Gerard again, grinning lightly. "Y'know," I mutter, leaning forward with my elbows over the counter. "I've got passes for a bar concert tonight. Wanna come?"

"What do you mean by passes?" His eyes never avert from the records – he runs his fingers over them delicately, examining each of them closely.

"Each ticket was about ten dollars and they're sold out, but the store is sponsoring the event and I got free passes." I smirk, watching his eyebrows raise lightly. "I usually can get one person in with me. What do you say?"

He pauses. "Why me?"

"Because you're the one I know the least." And also the one I'm interested in. "Pick you up at seven, what do you say?"

He sighs. "I'll text you my address."

.

"Wow, you're..." Gerard stares at me with a blank face, standing there and letting all the cold air get in. He rushes into the car, closing the door carefully.

"I'm...?" I raise an eyebrow, sinking my foot down on the gas, pulling away from the sidewalk.

"I don't know." Silence. "Not what I expected."

"Glad to know." I grin. "You're also not what I expected. You're never what I expect, to be honest..." He wasn't all open in the beginning, but also wasn't the asshole he was in the park – in his defence, at least, he had just gotten out of a fight, nerves still on edge. At the store, however, he seemed more like himself. "Also, you're looking good."

Gerard's eyes are surrounded by eyeliner and a red eyeshadow – definitely nothing I would see him in, but also nothing I'm disappointed about –, bringing out his paleness. And for the first time, he isn't wearing that stupid school uniform and fancy shoes are replaced by platform boots. A leather jacket clutches his shoulders, decorated with a few studs and patches, and covering a nice Slipknot shirt. And there are his jeans, fucking tight and I swear I hadn't noticed this guy got such a nice ass and, fucking hell, it's difficult not staring at his thighs flat on the seat, with a chain falling over one of them.

"Thank you," he mutters quietly. Even in the reduced lighting, I can see his cheeks gaining a red tone before he looks away.

The place is crowded, but not overly – which is why the tickets were even sold, at first place – and it's fun seeing Gerard's chin drop when he looks at the sign of the place. To simplify, everyone is either always wanting to play in this bar or come watch someone play and the tickets are not only always sold in small quantities, but also expensive.

"Let's go," I chuckle after having spent a good moment observing Gerard.

We jog across the street, towards the entrance, just straight away skipping the whole line. The guy in charge of letting people in looks at us indifferently, in a silent question, muscles clear under the tight staff shirt. Even if there's no visible difference in his expression, he does relax a bit after I show him my pass and steps aside to let us in.

"Wow," Gerard mutters, almost inaudibly.

"You like it?" I ask as we walk through the people. No answer comes. He stayed back, of course; the boy is kinda shy and hesitant, after all. "C'mon!" I take a hold of his hand to pull him with me until we're in the bar area, which's much calmer. He stands there for a moment, looking around, until I point at one of the stools, sitting down on the one beside it.

Gerard shifts on his seat, hands resting on his lap and clenched into fists. He observes everything with wide eyes and I can't bring myself to avert my attention away from him. He's beautiful.

When the band starts playing, however, the atmosphere starts changing. It's a classic punk band – the kind of people you'd see around in skate lanes, spraying anarchist messages on a building's wall or behind a McDonald's counter – and the music is good, nonetheless, raw and emotional and demanding. Great to dance to.

Gerard is shy, as already stated – what makes me wonder how he even agreed on coming –, taking a good time to actually stand up from the stool and join me.

His hand is warm under mine, maybe not as warm as his cheeks seem to be. I had taken it in mine to pull him up from the stool, only, but he didn't let go and... oh well. Aren't you interesting, Gerard? I grin to myself and take his other hand to pull him to dance with me; that if you consider moving around to the rhythm of the song some kind of dance, but Gerard doesn't complain.

I'm not sure how much time goes by – I only question myself about that once the band is saying good night, breathing audibly as they get off the stage. The live music is replaced by a momentary incoherent chatter when loud music fills the place again, this time coming from the speakers. Gerard and I are out of breath when averting our attention from the stage to each other. My arms feel a bit sore after all of that, almost the opposite to my numb legs.

"Wanna grab a drink?" I nod towards the bar. "We can go to the alley to take a breath, then."

"Sounds good."

The non-alcoholic drinks are as cold as the night air, suddenly making it even more obvious how much we jumped around to the band's sound. We lean against the wall opposite to the side of the bar and I look at Gerard, watching his chest rise and fall fast, only coming to a longer pause when he brings the glass to his lips. He observes something above us, maybe the sky, but I don't care.

"Your nose is bleeding again." I suddenly note, seeing the dark red trail now almost reaching his upper lip. Not a surprise. He hurt his nose not much over a day ago and all the jumping must have opened the wound.

"Fuck." Gerard brings a hand to his nose and sighs when seeing the red stain on his fingers; I chuckle softly, halfheartedly. "What? You wanna lick it again?" he teases, raising an eyebrow at me. He apparently opts for not ruining the sleeve of his leather jacket, regarding it more than his school blazer.

I roll my eyes, smiling helplessly. "Well, if you'd like me to," I decide to tease back, looking at him through half lidded eyes.

"Ah, you wouldn't dare!" He chuckles, blood staining his lips according to how he talks.

"You think so, honey?" I raise an eyebrow. A few stutters come from him, but I just grab his glass and set it aside with mine, on the ground, before stepping towards him. "Tell me, why are you always so... bold around me? It's clear it's not part of you, as Ray even said." I suppress a humorous chuckle at how he frantically backs away against the wall, having nowhere to go. This brings me memories. "Maybe it has a specific reason?"

Gerard's eyes are wide, lips twitching, though no word ever comes through and his expression changes instantly once I get a hold of his hips and pin him to the wall. Feeling the heat coming from his cheeks is almost possible and all that resistance is gone, tendering into compliance and shyness.

"Look at you, Gerard," I mutter, rubbing circles into his hips as leaning in. "How surprising can you be?"

Having Gerard only letting out a quiet whine in response as his hands rest hesitantly over my shoulders make my heart flutter in my chest. I finally lean in, pressing my lips to Gerard's; he returns the kiss right away, lips sliding against mine easily.

And there it is; the rich metallic taste of Gerard's blood. I run my tongue over his bottom lip, snatching a hum from him, which turns into a whining-gasp once my teeth sink into it slightly.

His hands tighten around my shoulders, I grip harder onto his hips in consequence and he's sent relaxing back against the wall. He never had control over the kiss, but he's suddenly just giving up on the power at once with a quiet sound, slowly wrapping his arm around my neck to pull me closer and I gladly deepen the kiss.

"Wow, love," I breathe as soon as we part the kiss, lungs screaming for air. Gerard doesn't reply verbally, with his lips brushing lightly against mine and, by now, the blood is starting to get sticky, on its way to drying, also on my lips.

"I hope we can go out more often," he mutters shyly, not long before burying his face in the crook of my neck.

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Tommy

Ali: [Let us assume he has gone back to school now and this was a weekend affair] Ali: You forgot your 🕯 Ali: expect it in the post, minus the disappointed note from Ro I've taken out Ali: ✈️ trips not guilt trips, welcome Tommy: leave it in, LOVE to hear what she's gotta say about why I'M the one being a holy show Ali: You aren't respecting the sanctity of her offering, is very much the point and gist Ali: she put more letters to it, as standard Tommy: 'course she did Ali: It does mean a lot to her Ali: but yeah, nice to have my 📅 to myself again, can't lie Tommy: meant so much she fucked off soon as the 🎂 candles were out Ali: You know she isn't the party 'til dawn sort Ali: anyway, they'd be coming in for morning service 😅 Tommy: I know it's her party & she can 😭 if she wants to Ali: If I'd known that was the theme, could've made party bags with 🧅 & 🧻 Ali: well, at least you were in your element 🕺 and you kept Meena and Carly entertained Ali: the hostess not being overly concerned herself, like Tommy: this family's hostess with the mostest has & always will be me, honey Tommy: what else do they teach me at this school, like? Ali: I had no idea you were at finishing school, my apologies Ali: how's things with keeping a man then, Holly Housewife? Tommy: Why stop at strutting with 📚 on our heads when we could do it in 🩰 perfectly en pointe, carrying a sulky ballerina all the while? Basically a Latin motto Tommy: & yet I still can't keep a man, cheers for the reminder Ali: Maybe now you're of age they introduce the final string to your bow Ali: quadruple threat = 🎤🕺🎭🍆 Tommy: 😂🤞🙏 Tommy: stole your girl regardless, tell her to call me when she's slept off the festivities Ali: No doubt she will when she's between the next couple of parties 😜 Ali: your girl is here actually, helping Ro 'organise' her presents Ali: dunno where she parked her 🎃 Tommy: I'll join Fraze in the red corner 😍💋💔🤬🎯👿🥤🤡🥵🛑💘 Tommy: those dolls do go walk abouts if you don't keep a 👀 but obviously she was 🤞🙏 I was still there Ali: He might misconstrue that and come to fight for her honour Ali: 🤞🙏 she's in LDN too, naturally Ali: lots of them are haunted, but that last part of your sentence there is the MOST 😱 ever Ali: it's weird when you approach anything fuck boy like Tommy: miscommunication is his thing™ no hard feels or feelings full stop, 'course 💪🚫😭🚫😍 Tommy: what can I say? being back DOES things to me Tommy: it's all the positive masculine role models this family has Ali: Guess it beats a total lack of @Joseph Ali: though he sent her some book about musical theory so he still manages to be the favourite somehow 🤷 Ali: and hey, dad is the best Tommy: v catty & then cuddly of you, Kit Tommy: he doesn't respond to MY efforts at being a daddy's girl exactly the same way somehow 🤷 Ali: we're both living up to what's expected then 😼 Ali: could just be I'm better at it than you though Ali: if your ego will allow it Tommy: can't let our sister fly that flag alone, like Tommy: as for who's better at kissing the arse of authority figures, don't need to dignify that with an answer 'cause my school report will Tommy: you ain't never been a pleasure to have in class Ali: I might genuinely have to shoot myself if anyone ever said anything so asinine about me so you're right Ali: that would be such a waste of potential, not until I've lead a more scandal-filled existence Tommy: you could respect the hustle Tommy: it's getting me 🩰 perks Tommy: disciplined is the head that wears the 👑 hoe Ali: I know all about discipline, trust me Tommy: we've all read 50 shades, you can't take it as gospel Tommy: Ro could write a better bdsm bibe when she's done at church Tommy: bible* Ali: It's all fun and games 'til I walk in on her flagellating herself Ali: how are we explaining that to the shrinks Tommy: that she misunderstood a more sexy f word? Ali: we don't want to look like we're trying to lock her up for that Ali: way too retro, bro Tommy: She wants to be catholic Tommy: I didn't make the rules Ali: No, then da really would hate you Ali: she's got worse Tommy: Yeah Tommy: I know, no amount of drama from the golden couple could detract Ali: not that I haven't heard enough about that though Ali: guess there's too much to put in a passive-aggressive note Tommy: 🙄🥱😴 Tommy: She wasn't even THAT late & tbh I wouldn't have blamed her for doing a Joe no show Ali: I would've understood if she was upset when she wasn't coming Ali: I am when Joe doesn't, whatever Ali: but I think she was actually MORE upset that she did come in the end, and not just because she was messy, but because Ro thought she wouldn't Ali: I don't get it, they're complicated, always have been but ??? Tommy: she can't hold being a good sister over her, like you can't me being the most fabulous brother in existence 🏆 Tommy: the fuck ups are more fun to bring to a 🥊 Ali: I guess that's more likely than them being all 💕💞 Ali: but fucking hell, does it hurt to hope Tommy: it's hurting you 😿 Tommy: she'll be too hangry to hope Ali: I have no hope or agenda for your 🏆 or 👑 dear brother Ali: but seriously Ali: what does she want Tommy: like you said ???? Tommy: there's every chance I'm bringing too much McKenna magic to the motives & she don't wanna bear a grudge til the end of her days Ali: because it doesn't sound like her at all Ali: if you can't be honest in the DMs where can you, eh, to quote that romcom Ali: fucked if I know what to do about it right now though Ali: maybe I need to sleep off the festivities, or get something to eat Tommy: long as you're not so hysterical you run into the path of an oncoming car, to recall another faithful role of hers Ali: have you adapted that for the stage? Ali: get 5 of you to be the 🚗 Tommy: dibs 'cause I can't do the accent Tommy: not that loads of 'em posh kids can either Ali: they'll have spent enough time gentrifying the east end to have it down, offensively so but all adds to the hysterics Tommy: I'll pitch it then 💡 Tommy: go down better than her 🎤🎵 Ali: better than her when she got hit by the car, like Ali: give me credit or I'll turn up and make a SCENE Tommy: like I wouldn't be LIVING for that Tommy: if we are being honest in the DMS Ali: I'll work on my RICKKAAAAAAAAAAAY Ali: maybe can convince Ro to be Sharon Tommy: hang around your ma in law & you'll ace it in no time Ali: Ha Ali: she'd accept Peggy, not Pat Tommy: fair, Laoise's ma's the one more likely to express herself with big earrings & animal prints Tommy: but I don't know if Sam Mitchell is a favourable role for Carls, what did she ever even do? Ali: Are you trying to tell me it's NOT a look? 🤔 Ali: or that you rate Laoise's mum? Ali: The character, nothing, the OG actress lost her nose so we're all agreed that's a no Tommy: I'd rate seeing her da on the doorstep in nothing but a bow tie for how mortified she'd be when I uploaded it Tommy: Grant's also no, he knocked Martine on her arse way before that car Tommy: but if she's Phil, you're Sharon so that's a yeah from me, like Ali: Don't, her dad always gave me those vibes Ali: and you ain't actually on the street still to have to witness that 🤮 Ali: I don't know how she'll feel about going bald, I'll float it gently before getting out the clippers Tommy: Do Rock's while you're there, he looks feral Tommy: even that nonce wouldn't have him Ali: You know his ears would get chapped Ali: hair is essential or he'll fly away on the breeze Ali: and we'd all be devastated, obvs Tommy: don't start me thinking about that scene in Dumbo, cheers very much Tommy: 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Ali: Such a depressing film Ali: disney gives me bad vibes Tommy: the park is creepy & you won't catch me there Tommy: whether or not Walt was a Nazi it's still a nah from me Ali: Wee bit concerning that emotional manipulation and forced fun trumps facism/literal Nazis for you but we'll 🤐 Ali: ma is in enough of a mood and she'll only direct it at me so nah Tommy: well his racism is disputed depending whether you're in camp 😇 saint him 🙏 or camp cast him into the hellfire 👿 Tommy: the forced fun & emotional manipulation is just facts Ali: 👿 advocate Tommy: I'm gonna go to hell 🤞 he's an ally Ali: 😬 Ali: it's a punishment, not a holiday Tommy: it'll be a grand hol for my pores Tommy: love a sauna sesh Ali: that London smog is not it Ali: how black is your snot? Tommy: as Ro's soul 💀 Ali: Thomas Tommy: Alison Ali: 🛑 it Tommy: she'd 🖤 to hear it but FINE Ali: you're an enabler, it is known Ali: not the kind of encouragement I'm after tah Tommy: enabling you & your lady love to have a good time, yeah 🕺💃 Tommy: & I fully expected her to turn up with a pet raven is all I'm saying Ali: the best was made of it by all, despite it all Ali: even her, in her way Tommy: despite Kayne appearing 🤵🥀 & all in her case Ali: yeah Ali: ugh Ali: he's harmless enough, bless him Tommy: she'd beg to differ right now Tommy: you're gonna wanna hide the 🍄🍄💀 til she calms down Ali: You don't need to tell me Ali: I think he's just really oblivious Ali: like all lads Ali: it wasn't you know...assaulty Tommy: It's not his fault she's team true love's kiss & he AIN'T it Tommy: who could EVER measure up to the 💭💞 Ali: standards, cool Ali: unrealistic expectations, less so Ali: but I can't really advocate for reality at this point in the game Tommy: You don't need to tell me, sis Ali: you're team turn-a-stage-kiss-real, yeah Ali: it's more realistic than fairytales, anyway, look at strictly Tommy: I'm team when's my life been a shitty made for netflix flick never mind a 🐸🤴📖 Tommy: crushing realism ftw Ali: 💔 Ali: If you didn't have a tragic love-life to complain about, you'd be too insufferable 🤴💩 Tommy: comforting Tommy: I'd HATE to morph into Fraze of a few years back Ali: I'll let you know if you start getting freckles Tommy: I'd know if I woke up with those brows Tommy: nowhere to hide, like Ali: 👺 Tommy: 😂 Ali: What are you getting ma for her bday/have you got already (suckup) Tommy: I left it there if you wanna find & shake the 🎁 Ali: Wow, you really didn't wanna pay postage that bad huh Ali: I'll see if I can 🔮 Tommy: with what? I'm skint after buying hers & Ro's Tommy: & it'll be 🎅🎄🎁 before too long Ali: that's what people really mean when they say dance don't pay Ali: gifting an interpretive dance is nothing but pretentious and unwelcome Ali: I can bodge together however many crafts I need and save my dolla Tommy: been there, tried that one Tommy: so much for your so called genius Tommy: ain't even thought of earning any by busting out the 🎅🎄🎵 classics for a busking sesh, works with 🩰 too I'll have you know Ali: 'til you knock over an old lady and have to leg it, like Ali: and if you hadn't noticed, I've been a little busy making a replica Ro, tah Ali: my creative juices are juiced right now Tommy: I'll make it look like part of the show & have the punters eating out of my palm when I catch & twirl any 👵 before they touch ground Tommy: yeah well you've got time from now, fair game on all things yule from Nov 1st Ali: 👌👌 clearly the LDN ones are more receptive because they're vicious 'round here with their 👜s and I'm only trying to give them the tea they ordered Ali: if ANYONE should advocate for Christmas not dragging, like Tommy: it's Irish dancing or fuck all back there, 365 🌧 or ⛅ Tommy: little girls scam every bit of that trade Ali: ironic when it's catch these hands in every other aspect Ali: so you'll fit right in, eh Ali: feel traumatised yet? Tommy: I'll do my best, as ever Ali: 🤴 Ali: meanwhile ma will have to make do with whatever IOU present I can knock up Ali: maybe I'll babysit, that's never not gonna work Tommy: she was on about going out 🍽 wasn't she? Tommy: Carls will never not be down either Ali: get him to make her a cake Ali: sorted Ali: providing he washes his hands...a full hose down may be necessary actually Tommy: she's survived the 🧁 he brings back from school & we've all seen the state of him at day's end Ali: yeah, cheers for the immunity boost little 🦠 Ali: fair, I'm pretty sure we put some weird and wonderful things into our bakes at his age and no one died Ali: Laoise nearly but you know Tommy: close but no 🚬 Tommy: typical of that bitch Ali: sure a 🙏 was said to finish the job at mass Tommy: if you see her ma mascara running in an lbd, I demand to be the first to know Ali: I'll pap her in her time of distress, it's fine Ali: I can hide up trees for HOURS if needs must Tommy: I'm not above piggybacking on the 'tragedy' to get better grades or a hol Tommy: do your part, like Ali: she won't fall for 🍄 again Ali: her brother might if Ro puts 'em in her gob Tommy: 💞 Ali: more of a mood than without Ali: add a little danger Tommy: she'd appreciate the drama more than anything he could ever do Ali: 💔 Tommy: nah, we're not shipping that Tommy: not today Ali: You gotta make some bad decisions before you make the right ones Tommy: a bad decision was the colour of her 👗 Tommy: the last thing that girl needs is a boy right now Ali: Okay you can't come for anyone vis a vis colour, boy Ali: even if I still see it when I close my eyes after however many weeks sewing Ali: but you may have a point re. a boy Ali: just, some socialisation wouldn't hurt Ali: and as far as they go, he's harmless Tommy: 'Course I do, she can barely exist in front of us Tommy: if they went on a date, what's she gonna do, order a glass of water? Ali: like you haven't seen her fake eat a plate of food Ali: it's only noticeable to all us that she's not actually putting any in her mouth Tommy: 🔮✨ Tommy: if he's TRULY harmless he don't deserve to be harmed by her attitude Tommy: which anyone else not bound by family love & loyalty would call something loads harsher Ali: Don't Ali: I feel bad enough for Meena sometimes Tommy: @ Carly too & we all know it Ali: Yeah, Carly can handle it though, she's mostly unphased even if it is a total thing 🙄 Tommy: She's a 👸😇 I doubt Kayne is that pure of ❤️ or intentions tbh Tommy: & Meena can handle anything so Ali: he's deffo a virgin though Ali: which yes, makes for more desperation, but he can't be that forceful if he dunno what he wants, you know Ali: yeah but God knows why she wants to come 'round here and get more of it at times Tommy: No shit, Kit but everyone's seen a porno, it's not the 70s Tommy: dress for it all you like Tommy: maybe she wants to get out of her own 🏡 Ali: everyone also knows it's bullshit Ali: whatever else she's got that much about her Tommy: does he though? Tommy: all I'm saying Ali: either way, it isn't like she's going to have a miraculous change of heart Ali: we all saw how well it went Tommy: Yeah but what if it makes her heart set on finding someone else to play 🤴 Tommy: you'd know better than me what goes on in her head Ali: She's 15, I don't see how any of us can say or do anything to stop her if that's what she does want Tommy: 15 technically Tommy: 🤷 Ali: If we can't make her eat, you know Ali: what hope do we have for anything beyond that Tommy: 0 Tommy: & it's fucked Ali: Yep Ali: but it's not as if that bombshell has only just been dropped, I guess Ali: we'll carry on doing what we can Tommy: 🔮✨ Ali: ✌💚

[angel-dust-addict]

Angel made a soft noise when Blitz let go of his hand, but didn't protest. He did startle slightly when the imp wrapped his arms around him, though. When Stolas did the same, he was more prepared. He could feel the tears welling in his eyes at the gesture. It took him a moment, but slowly, he wrapped his primary arms around the two of them, across their shoulders. As he listened to Stolas speak, he took a few shallow, hitching breaths. They weren't quite sobs, but they were close. Slowly, he let go of his knees with his secondary arms and wrapped one around each oneself waist. The tertiary set he hardly ever showed was still wrapped around his legs.

"Yeah," he said quietly in solidarity, raising his head a little. He knew what that was like. "Yeah, no, I think I was about twenty when I finally realized I was neva' gonna be able ta get it up fer a dame. I kept thinkin' maybe I just hadn't met tha right gal yet. But I'd always had an appreciation fa' tha fellas." With a small, watery grin, he glanced over at Stolas and told him a ridiculous stage whisper, "Like yer guy ova' there."

His expression fell quickly, though, as he went on. "I always just figuahed this shit happened 'cause I was whore. Like it was some kinda invitation. An' tha fact dat I usually got hard an' some of 'em could make me cum... There had ta be somethin' wrong wit' me. I know it ain't my fault an' it ain't some sorta...somethin' about me bein' broken. But it sure as fuck felt like it back then. Still kinda does sometimes. So I get it."

He turned his attention to Blitz when the imp assured him he would fix things, giving him a tired little half-smile. "I ain't goin' nowhere. Can't say I ain't thought about it, but I ain't gonna. 'Specially if there's a light at tha end'a this long fuckin' tunnel."

Stolas's comment made got a smirk. "Somethin' tells me yer not gonna mind if 'e does."

The owl was dead on with his assessment of Catholics and Angel pulled a face. "Don't surprise me none. Frankly, I'm surprised there ain't more of 'em down here. Ya can't go shoot up a bank or some shit an' then just tell tha priest about it, say some rosaries an' some prayers ya obviously don't fuckin' mean, an' expect everythin' ta be hunky-dory. 'Cause ya obviously ain't serious about it if ya have every intention'a just turnin' right around an' doin' it again. Worst sort'a hypocrites."

He sort of glossed over the comment about Charlie needing to spank Blitz for leading him off the path to redemption because that was just...weird. Especially on the heels of religious commentary. But he told them happily, "Nuggs is the cutest. Yer gonna love 'im. He's sweet little pig. An' smaht, too."

As Stolas moved to stand up, Angel reluctantly let go of him, though he kept his hold on Blitz. The greenhouse blindsided him a bit. Not that Stolas was into gardening, but that he was growing drugs. The poison was almost to be expected - this was Hell - but he hadn't figured Stolas for somebody who would use anything beyond the alcohol to which he had already admitted. He could, of course, understand why, given what the prince had said of his life up to this point, he just hadn't seemed the type.

"O-kaaay," he replied slowly, getting to his feet. It wasn't that he didn't trust Stolas, even though he probably shouldn't so early on. It was just a strange offer. "Thanks. That, uh, that would be great. Not havin' ta worry about if it's cut wit' somethin'. I mean, not like I can die of an ovahdose down here, but it still sucks. It'll be interestin' ta see tha greenhouse, too. Lead away."

Watching Angel... break.... like that....

It made Blitz feel sick, made him choke up and made his eyes sting

He leaned over, gently wrapping his arms around Angel- an action Stolas copied from the other side

He wasn't sure if this would help at all or not, he hoped it wouldn't make it worse, but.... he did certainly hope it would help, even just a tiny bit...

"Yes..." Stolas confirmed quietly, his thumb rubbing soothingly back and forth over the back of Angel's hand

"I never could understand what was wrong with me that I couldn't enjoy what... what Stella was doing... I never really thought of myself as being gay until I met Blitz and... then it all clicked.... but I imagine it's even harder for someone who.... has to deal with this without having a... an easy thing to blame like sexuality..."

Blitz sighed quietly, deciding not to go into his own fucked up details and just... hugging Angel a little tighter, one hand moving over a little to squeeze Stolas's wrist in comfort

"...I can't fix the past," he said softly

"But I can sure as fuck make sure the future ain't this goddamn fucking bleak.... you just.... gotta hold on a little longer, ok Angel? It'll be over soon, I promise,"

Blitz would make sure of it

"Oh please dear, I think Blitz would be honored to be 'stuck' with you," Stolas chuckled, earning a thumb's up from his partner in silent appreciation of the idea

"Well.... admittedly I don't know much about what gets you into heaven, I don't even know all that much about what gets you damned, not everything anyway... but I do know with CERTAINTY that sexuality has nothing to do with either, I also know that Catholics make up a very large population of Hell's sinners, largely because of that 'irony', committing attrocities and then pretending to ritualize forgiveness a day later really doesn't work,"

"Well, your princess freind is probably gonna have to come over and spank me for like, leading you off the path of redemption or whatever, buuuuuuuuut..... I'm pretty sure Stolas and I would be happier anyway if you just stayed down here with the cool kids," Blitz winked playfully

It wouldn't be good for Angel, it would never be good for anyone to stay in hell, but Blitz's good-deed-o-meter was starting to wear thin for the day and his selfishness was starting to show

Oh fucking well

"He won't have to do much winnin', I bet he's so fuckin' cute Stolas and I will be fighting eachother for who gets to cuddle 'im first," Blitz chuckled

But then things got serious again, and although a moment passed by in silence, neither hellborn knowing what to do with the information they were being given, Stolas soon sighed and reluctantly forced himself to his feet

"If.... you're going to get high on something, then atleast allow me to make sure it's something good,"

Blitz blinked, surprised by the notion and tilting his head

"You got a secret stash around here babe?"

"...In a way...." Stolas shrugged back uncomfortably

"I have a greenhouse full of plants, many of them can be used as drugs, I mostly cultivate the poisonous ones but I have a few others I've been.... experimenting with..... for my own needs- well, for the needs I um... used to have... anyway, I think I have a few things that will help with your conundrum, darling Angel, if you would come with me please, you can pick something out? And don't worry, in case you have any remaining hesitation, I'll take whatever you choose in your presence so you can be assured that it's safe,"

[brothersonahotelbed]

haha vent space tw parents fighting & stuff

so my parents are devout catholics right. and if you don't know, divorce is highly frowned upon in catholicism. except in extreme cases, a couple's marriage will not be annulled (a.k.a. if you're having marriage problems just tough it out even if you can't stand each other).

for as long as i can remember, my parents have been fighting. like, they always tell me that married couples have rough patches, it's normal, etc etc and i know that's true, but ..,, rough patches aren't supposed to last 10+ years. my parents fight so fucking much, and it's never gotten to an physically abusive stage, but it's verbal/emotional abuse for sure. they insult and argue and scream at each other in front of me and my 8 year old brother with no regard for our mental health, how their issues make us feel. my dad threatened to divorce my mom today when they were having another fight, which is surprisingly not the first time that's happened but it still made me really nervous.

i remember being 9 or 10 years old when my parents had one of their biggest fights, and my dad said he'd "already signed the divorce papers" (just a tactic to scare my mom) and my mom took my sister and i to the park where i had to persuade her, as a child, to not divorce my dad. since then, i'd always been something of a marriage counselor for them, listening to their problems and reminding them that they're supposed to love each other. that's not an exaggeration. i had to do that on multiple occasions.

my parents aren't happy. they've told me so numerous times, separately. they're both depressed and can't stand to be in the same room together most days. my dad's said some REALLY SHITTY things about my mom in the past behind her back, when i was the only one there. and it's just like,,, people who are supposedly in love shouldn't do things like that, right? like i understand that couples have falling-outs, they get mad, they need space, they say things they don't mean. those things happen in all kinds of relationships i think. but my mom and my dad just don't seem to love each other. throughout my childhood they never showed much affection for one another. i hardly recall them saying "i love you" to each other.

sometimes i wish that they'd get divorced already, and i know that's a horrible thing to think, but i can't help it. sometimes i think we'd all be happier people if my mom and dad separated for good. we wouldn't have to put up with the constant arguing, negativity, insults, yelling, etc. i get such extreme anxiety whenever my parents argue because one of these days i'm afraid my dad'll snap and hit my mom or my brother or start drinking as a form of escapism (he drinks a lot as it is). i feel so sad for them and i wish they could figure out how to deal with their horrible relationship.

my dad has boasted that he would never divorce my mom because divorce is against their religion and he's "better than that." but he's said before that if he wasn't catholic, he would've divorced my mom a long time ago.

like. what the fuck.

idk i'm so tired and sad and overwhelmed :(

*i don't need advice or anything i just needed a place to vent, so if you read this far thanks for your time /gen :)*

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Tommy

Ali: okay I need Ali: like fucking Ali: total seriousness from you right now Ali: can you handle that Tommy: whoa Tommy: alright yeah Tommy: unless you're preggo I ain't keeping that to myself for the next 9 like Ali: god no Ali: i know you're gay as hell so the birds and the bees don't worry you none but if anything you should KNOW that means I'm good right now Ali: but this is going to sound like as much of a joke Ali: but it ain't, yeah? Tommy: what you and your girlfriend do or who ain't none of my business but obviously we ain't here for that, are we? Tommy: I'm sitting down, go for it Ali: sure, sure, I'll make you go red later Ali: preferably when I can see/laugh but no, it ain't so Ali: fuck Ali: so this is weird like Ali: beyond Ali: you know Joe finally made an apperance here yeah Tommy: you're scaring me, Kat Tommy: unless he came out I don't reckon I'm ready to hear this Ali: I can't say if that's unwarranted or not, like Ali: soz Ali: basically, he came to me for a drugs hookup Ali: like, that's what the fuck weird enough but you know Ali: do you Ali: so I sent him to Drew, you know, Meena's brother? Ali: he deals now Ali: and then he hit me back up and shit Ali: you gotta tell me if this is some kinda sick joke but the boy sounded deadly serious, like HE was scared Ali: he said Joe asked for heroin, Tommo Tommy: nah nah he's gotta have it twisted Tommy: like he's pretty so he don't have to be the smartest, yeah Tommy: it'll be like a bad brain day so he needed to go harder than his prescription maybe but Tommy: not that fucking hard Ali: I wanna think that but Ali: he looked sick, Joe Ali: and idk how they could've had that miscommunication like smack is smack it's not like, nah I want this type of pill not that Tommy: probably got his slang fucked up Tommy: he's like an old man you know Tommy: sometimes Ali: he ain't that green Ali: fucking hell, even Ro could list a few names for it Ali: I literally do not know what to do Ali: because as soon as he came back, basically Ali: he's gone Ali: said his uni friend was in a car crash or some bullshit Ali: maybe it ain't but the timing reeks of it Tommy: fuck Tommy: this is so bad Tommy: did they see him, ma or da? Ali: nope, mum was taking rocky to the park or some shit whilst dad did the shop so they're all due back any time and I've gotta pass on the message Ali: minus the drugs, presumably Ali: what the fuck Tommy: don't say shit to them Tommy: she'll fucking Tommy: alright, where are Bea & Fraze like right now? Ali: idk Ali: not here, he waited long as he could to sneak out like he was never here Ali: should I tell them Ali: I swear to God I ain't got no wires crossed Ali: I've got all the messages from Drew, it's black and white so unless he's a real mentalist and just taking the piss Tommy: you deffo ain't that green & jesus all signs really are pointing to proper smackhead Tommy: Meena's brother's loads of things but I don't reckon he'd go this hard just to get your attention Tommy: no shade honey Ali: my thoughts exactly Ali: unless he's one of those people who's ultimate fantasy is to be murdered and I'm the master criminal for the job Ali: it just isn't something you lie about, unless you're totally cracked in the head yourself Tommy: we can kink shame him later like Tommy: but you gotta hit up the IT couple with this Tommy: I can try & talk to Joe but a screen's easy to ignore if you ain't shooting up heroin so I dunno reckon my luck's out Ali: I don't even know what the hell he's gonna say Ali: but I can't just Ali: sweep that one under the rug, can I Ali: Joe was like, gone, and not in a this is a bad brain day way like a Ali: I don't know Ali: let's say there was no putting the kettle on and convincing him to stay 'til the 'rents were back, like Tommy: we can't just Tommy: I'm here for this Tommy: and you can say like a skaghead Tommy: might have to Ali: fuck Ali: how Ali: why Tommy: I dunno Tommy: who's he with Tommy: what's he do Tommy: who the fuck is he Tommy: what's he playing at Ali: all valid questions but who knows Ali: none of us Ali: it was so easy to say like, 'don't blame him' when he didn't come home ever but Ali: it's weird, we're taking like any possible excuse not to be here Tommy *~ Yeah Tommy: do you want me to come back? Ali: no Ali: you should stay there Ali: if there's an intervention I'll buy you a ticket Ali: god knows you can't be missing out on that drama Ali: but realistically Ali: you know this family, what's getting done Tommy: cheers Tommy: but you ain't told Fraze yet, you know he's done crazier than get on a plane to start shit Ali: true Ali: Jesus Tommy: if throw us & the lovebirds in a group chat that's the best it can go Tommy: she'll calm him down Ali: I truly hate this family Tommy: you & me both, Kit Tommy: Drew isn't gonna say shit is he? Ali: I don't think he would Ali: like what's he got to gain from that Tommy: like don't tell your girlfriend I said so but use your feminine wiles if you have to, yeah? Tommy: if ma finds out about this it's gonna properly wreck her Ali: that's why I'm kinda glad he left 'cos it was fucking obvious Ali: but still, what are we gonna do Ali: lock him in a cupboard legit, let him out when he's ready to behave Tommy: she lost it enough over you all summer no way she can handle this Ali: are you saying I should've done smack Ali: got my moneys worth like Tommy: I'm not not saying it Tommy: fucking hell Ali: ah a summer of regrets Ali: seriously Ali: I wanna puke Tommy: you had the best time Tommy: but summer's well and truly over now Tommy: should we pray to sexy Jesus or what Ali: yeah, put down the needle, Joe Ali: it can't hurt, we're in theory catholics so Ali: say sorry and he'll do anything for us Tommy: so out of my depth with this Tommy: this school is well straight edge and there's no religious imagery anywhere Ali: 'cos real rockstars don't go stage school, babe 💔 Ali: maybe he was just gonna smoke it? ehhh Ali: literally the best consolation I've got for any of 'em right now Tommy: I don't wanna be a rockstar honey, that's you Tommy: maybe it was for a 'friend' lol Ali: don't Ali: if he asked drew for a condom too we'd have to dash to the airport like it's love actually Tommy: I wouldn't make that boy use protection but enough about me Ali: THOMAS Ali: behave Ali: this is so serious Tommy: I'm sorry but I'm not used to the kind of gay panic where I'm a gay just panicking like Ali: if you could send me a video of you flapping your limp wrists about, so I know it's real, tah Tommy: least I can do Tommy: I'm really fucking scared, you know Tommy: like, it's Joe Ali: me too Ali: I'm not trying to be a hypocrite but it's fucking heroin Ali: like how are we at defcon1 Tommy: he's not gonna die, yeah? That's only a just say no tactic, right? Tommy: like its not cut with rat poison anymore or Tommy: whatever the fuck Ali: I mean Ali: it's a risk with all drugs but like Ali: you kill off too many punters you get a rep so let's hope his shit is clean-ish Ali: and he knows how to dose Ali: though how the fuck this is even a conversation we're having about JOE Ali: just Tommy: that's a point what did Goldilocks give him 'cause I know he ain't stocking that Tommy: ma would've kneecapped him if he was dealing that hard Tommy: shit Tommy: I dunno Tommy: how is this our real life Ali: he said, Drew, this is, that he just gave him benzos Ali: but it sounded like he got like 50 which he surely did not go through before he left Ali: so he's either got on a fucking plane with 'em or he's left an emergency stash here Ali: do I check his room like that paranoid mother or Tommy: 50 like 5 0 Tommy: Christ almighty Tommy: yeah you should before you tell Fraze Ali: like that's a months worth Ali: idk why he'd get that many just to see him through, even if Drew was being a dick and seeing how much money he could get Ali: probably wiped out his supply of, like Ali: I will Ali: watch me get the blame for them, hope he's written his name on like it's houmous in the fridge or something Tommy: this is so fucked Tommy: how big is his bastard habit Tommy: like I can't Ali: you don't think Ali: oh God oh God Ali: is he online rn hold on Tommy: you think he's Tommy: shit Ali: I'll phone him fuck this Ali: and I'm telling Fraze like, right fucking now Tommy: you have to Tommy: if it's Tommy: we're out of time Ali: okay shit, I'll stay on here to you so you ain't left in the dark but I am also on it Tommy: yeah alright Ali: [a while but not forever] Ali: made him facetime me and he was at the airport, like he said Ali: basically, there's a 'fuck school is nearly here' party so he got that many for it and he reckons 'cos he's got a prescription for 'em, he just filled up his empty box and no one's gonna know, he'd gone through so like Ali: he had got away with that Ali: he seemed more with it, genuine Ali: I dunno Ali: I wasn't getting 'phone the ambulance now' vibes from him, it was reassuring, I wouldn't bullshit you on that Ali: not when it could be so bad Tommy: fucking prick Tommy: I thought like Tommy: thank god Ali: I know Ali: he was having a fucking coffee like Ali: I don't reckon you'd go spend your last in a fucking airport, even if you were done with life Tommy: bleak wouldn't be the word Tommy: next time I see him he's dead though Ali: seriously Ali: there's still the heroin issue but Ali: at least he's not actively killing himself like right this second Tommy: are we 100% that Drew's not just a really really shitty dealer Tommy: like did he say heroin Tommy: I'm grasping at straws and I fully hear myself but Ali: sadly I don't think he's hearing the H bomb just to say he ain't got any Ali: if he had a load to shift, I'd buy it Ali: but Ali: not buy it buy it Ali: this isn't a convoluted cry for help Tommy: don't make me laugh right now Ali: soz Ali: I can't help being such a natural comedic talent Tommy: yeah yeah genius we know babe Ali: gotta milk it whilst I'm still a kid Ali: the shine really gonna dull when I hit 16 Tommy: I'm sure your girlfriend is living for your prodigy status Tommy: I'm beating the boys off (yeah also a euphemism bye) & its only hard work Ali: good for your art, I'm sure Tommy: good for me Tommy: sod my art Ali: sorry Ali: I'll be happy for you when I'm coming down from my heart attack Ali: I am Tommy: me too Tommy: no worries Tommy: we can celebrate me being a hoe any other time Ali: we will 💚 Ali: thanks for not letting me/Joe die alone though Tommy: come down one weekend with your love interest Tommy: I promise to make it super but not intimidatingly gay Tommy: kinda my thing Ali: 'sounds good man Ali: maybe Halloween, bet you do some mad gay shit Tommy: 'course Tommy: Ali, you know I love you, yeah? Tommy: like being dramatic is also my thing but I mean Ali: 'course I do Ali: I can put you down as having me as favourite too, yeah? Ali: say it back if so Tommy: obviously Tommy: Rock's cool but he can't hang like you so Ali: get in Ali: 'til his bed time is past 8pm he can suck it Ali: love you too Tom-tom Tommy: I'd love to go to bed at 8 sometimes Tommy: this school is fucking knackering Ali: I bet Ali: worth it though Ali: yeah Tommy: maybe Tommy: probably Ali: more worth it than here would be Ali: definitely Tommy: full of more fit lads definitely Tommy: at least that are out Ali: god bless Ali: can't all be turning straights Tommy: so last century Tommy: trust you to find one in the first place Tommy: everyone's got more labels than the wardrobe dept usually Ali: 😏 Ali: your bubble is gonna burst so hard man Ali: enjoy it whilst it lasts Ali: seriously Tommy: I'll blow another one it's alright Tommy: that and my own horn of course Tommy: soon as I'm out of here Ali: it's a party 🎊🎈🎆 Tommy: any and everywhere we tread honey Tommy: and you know the drill, whoever's asking I'm dancing like Ali: 👍 Ali: let you get on with all your beating now Ali: keep you in the loop vis a vis whatever the fuck is happening with this Joe thing but Ali: twiddling my thumbs 'til then so Tommy: cheers 🐱 Tommy: laters yous 💛 Ali: 💚