#i'd apologize for writing a novel but i think you should expect that from me by now

[thebibliosphere]

In somewhat humorous news, my mother got into a quandary today involving some former coworkers.

Before Hunger Pangs broke containment, I asked my mother not to tell people back home what my author name was because I didn't want to deal with the homophobia I'd get from certain family members if they knew I was writing queer romance. I also didn't want certain people to know because I knew they'd find my social media and fucking doxx me. Not out of any maliciousness, mind you, but just sheer fucking Internet safety incompetence.

Like we're talking the type of people who'll go onto your Instagram and use your full birth name-- regardless of your preferred name -- while asking if you remembered hanging out that one time near your parent's house-- you know, the place with the [RECOGNIZABLE LANDMARK] next to the [PRACTICALLY A GPS LOCATION.]

Yeah.

Anyway, my mother was cool with that because she also, quite frankly, didn't want people to know her only daughter was writing queer filth for a living. (Does anyone else remember when she told me I should apologize to @mothman-etd's mother for writing sex in my stories? Because I sure do.) That was until Hunger Pangs broke containment, and my mother, to her own shock, decided she was proud of me.

I think it was when she logged onto Amazon, expecting to see people one-starring it and calling it degenerate filth, but instead found over 300+ 5-star reviews screaming about how much they loved it and how much it meant to them, that she realized that maybe, sometimes, sex stories are okay.

(Amazingly, she pivoted and latched onto Vlad smoking being the worst thing about it and how I should be ashamed to write about characters that smoke, lol.)

Anyway. She bumped into an old coworker today and was so excited to tell them how well I was doing she forgot that a) she doesn't like telling people what I write about and b) I'd asked her not to tell certain people that it wasn't until she'd gotten through the whole "oh yes, doing very well, living in America writing books" spiel that she realized what she'd done and clamped her mouth shut.

She didn't name me or the book title, but it was too late because said former coworker went and told everyone else she used to work with, and now my mother's been invited to tea at the local church village tea shop with an ensemble of formidable gossips, specifically to talk about my book.

So, anyway, I may or may not be about to get accidentally doxxed, but my mother is the one about to walk into the local church and tell everyone the kid they threw out 20+ years ago for being a disobedient pain in the ass with Views about Christianity is now relatively popular online for writing best-selling queer romance novels about vampires and werewolves fucking in a soft BDSM dynamic, featuring blatant magic use and a prologue which talks explicitly about imprisoning and killing God(s).

*jazz hands*

[yccoffeesimp]

𝑊𝒉𝑦 𝑑𝑖𝑑 𝐼 𝑠𝑎𝑦 𝑂𝑘𝑖𝑒 𝐷𝑜𝑘𝑖𝑒| ??? 𝑥 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

TW: G0r3 & C@nn¡B@lism at the very end.

You stayed up the entire weekend writing the short story. You didn't want to think too hard about what to write, so you went with the easiest option. Fantasy/ adventure. It was already time for the next club meeting when you finished.

You wanted to show the others but to whom? Choose-

-Blade

-Dan Heng

→ Jing Yuan

-Gepard

->'Best to show Jing Yuan first, after all, he is the president and the one who gave us the assignment.'

You thought. You then slowly began to walk to him with the two flat papers in hand. "Lovely to see you again, Y/n."The ivory white-haired man said, smiling at you.

→ "Nice to see you as well Jing Yuan."

"Oh before I forget, I'd just like to say. If you have any suggestions for anything regarding the club such as activities or problems, don't be afraid to inform me." He said, crossing his arms, his cat-like smile still present on his features.

→ "I'll keep that in mind but I'm going to go with the flow as I get settled in."

"We all need time to earn our footing." He slightly laughed.→

"Say you wanna read the short story I wrote?"

You ask, handing him the papers as he nods. It didn't take long for him to finish reading the two papers of the short story. When he gave the papers back, he had a light smile.

"Excellent work, Y/n, I underestimated your writing capabilities. Say Dan Heng enjoys this type of writing style, the fantasy and the way with words is extremely moving and it paints a picture in your head as if you were in it yourself." He closed his eyes as he spoke, nodding ever so slightly.

→ "You lost me."

"My apologies, I didn't mean to wander. But regardless, it's very well written, and I enjoyed reading it. It captivates the reader and that's what is most important in any form of literature."

→ "Yeah I guess so."

"Since I've read yours, would you like to read mine as well?" He offered.

→ "Sure."

"Sorry if it isn't any good, I'm not as creative as most are." He smiled awkwardly, unfolding his arms across his chest as they landed at his sides again. Reaching for the paper that he had written on, which laid on the desk beside him, before handing it to you.

You took the soft, thin paper examining the words written on it.The story was about a group that called themselves Space Rangers and one of their amazing adventures. The story was rather vivid and from what you could tell no spelling or grammar mistakes. This is to be expected from Jing Yuan after all he is the valedictorian student.

You set the paper down as you looked at Jing Yuan."Is it bad?"He then asked.

→ "Are you kidding me? This is amazing!"

You exclaimed, this caused him to smile."I'm glad you think so, I feel as if I could use more practice on wording it better and try not to go into details a lot. Just proves I have a lot more to learn."

→ "We all could. Well, I'm going to go see what the others wrote. See ya around Jing Yuan."

"If you want to chat more, I'll be here." He smiled before you walked away.

Who's next?

→Dan Heng

-Blade

-Gepard

→ "Maybe I should go see Dan Heng next. He probably has some constructive criticism for my writing. I mean he's writing his own novel so.."

You thought, before walking up to him. He was sitting near the back of the classroom, hunched over that notebook that was said to contain that novel of his. Dan Heng didn't notice you until he looked to see you approaching him.

→ "Hey Dan Heng."

"Greetings {name}, is something the matter?" He asks, setting his pencil down for a brief moment.

→ "I was wondering if you wanted to read the short story we were assigned to read."

You said, you felt your voice slowly become high pitched as to not knowing how to talk to the guy. All you knew was that he was Dan Feng's, the future owner of Vidyadhara Industries, twin brother. He paused for a moment, thinking about your words."I'd be happy to." That was all he said.

You handed your paper to him, his attention immediately went to the paper in his hands. It only took a minute before the paper was handed back to you.

→ "So how was it?"

"It was well written, I must say. The movement with the words... It's unique, it makes you feel as if you're truly there." His words carried honesty and truth, you somehow couldn't help but be flattered.

→ "Thanks."

You plainly said. "I take it that you want to read what I've written for the assignment?" He spoke. You nod as he takes a slip of folded paper out of the notebook he was previously writing in. He passed it onto you, your hands unfolding it. You lightly scanned the paper, his handwriting was neat.. Words were in clear and constructed sentences. It was a small script of the romance genre.

→ "Wow, it's really good. You wrote this by yourself?"

Dan Heng nodded. "Just a small script, a friend of mine says I need to try to write new different genres.Some authors get boresome if they write the same genre over and over.. Or at least that's what they said."

→ "I kinda agree, sometimes the plot just repeats itself a lot."

"Speaking of such.. Any suggestions?"

→ "Huh-For what?"

"For my writing attempt at romance."

→ "Oh- Well I'm not an expert. It's good by my standards. I frankly enjoyed it."

You handed the paper back to him, it was folded neatly as it was before. Dan Heng took the folded material before staring at it for a short while. "I'm glad you enjoyed it." He spoke, putting the piece of paper back into the notebook. He then opened to a page and began writing, ignoring your existence once more.

Choose-

→ Blade

-Gepard

Might as well see what Blade wrote. Maybe you could learn more about him. All you knew was that he was one of the troublemakers of the school. Easily had fights and many were sent to the nurse's office on several occasions because of him. You remember having him in your biology class once, he didn't show up except for when it was final exam season.He sat at the back next to one of the windows. His arms crossed along his chest, with his hair covering a majority of his face.

As you walked up to him, you got a closer look. He seemed to be holding a small piece of paper. You didn't realize you were staring at him before he spoke. "Is there a problem.?" He asked, his voice was laced with irritation and annoyance at your actions.

→ "Uh- Not really.. I wanted to ask if you wanted to uh- read the short story thing we were to write..."

He scoffed. "You do realize there are others here who can read the damn story, right.?"

→ "Yeah well I want you to read it."

"Hard pass. Now if you'd excuse me, I'd like to be alone."

→ "Well can I still read yours in the meantime?"

Blade didn't reply but he did look at you for a short while. He groaned, handing you the small piece of paper."If it only means you'll leave me be, take it."

♡- You received Blade's short story!

→ "Don't you want it back?"

"No." His answer was blunt and he looked not in a good mood to continue chatting... Best to leave him be and move to the next person.

But first do you want to read the short story now or later?

Choose-

-Now

→ Later

→ ' I'll read it when I get home from the meeting. I still have to read Gepard's.'

Gepard was near the podium of the classroom, he seemed to be writing something down before his eyes caught you walking towards him."Oh- Hey {name}, is there something you need?" He asked, trying to cover up the paper he was writing on.

→ "Yeah, just wondering if you wanted to read my assignment and to check up on ya."

"Oh- Well, I'm doing fine at the moment. Also, I'd be glad to read it. I heard from Jing Yuan that it was really good." The blonde smiled. You hand him the piece of paper. He gently took it in his hands before reading it. Now that you looked closer at him. He almost looked tired yet he always slept in. The eye bags he had were barely noticeable but they were still there. Your train of thought was interrupted by Gepard handing the piece of paper back. "Like I said, it's amazing."

→"H-huh?"

Did Gepard say something when you were spacing out? "{Name}? Are you alright?"

→ "I'm fine, Gepard... Just thinking and thank you for thinking it was amazing."

You smiled. A small smile followed from Gepard when you did.

→ "Can I read yours now?"

Gepard froze, looking away from you for a moment. "The thing is...-"

→ "You forgot to write one."

Gepard nodded. That was probably why when you left Jing Yuan, Gepard went up to him. Probably to inform him that he forgot to write a short story. "I haven't had time to, you know how much of a handful five-year-olds are..."

→ "Lynx really is giving you and Serval a rough time then if you didn't have enough time to write a story."

He nodded.

→ "Ah, I see. Anyways, what were you writing earlier?"

Your gaze falls on to the piece of paper on the podium. Gepard followed your gaze to the paper. "The short story.."

→ "Speed writing?"

"I have it already written but I haven't proofread it yet."

→ "I can do it for you."

Gepard smiled at you. "I don't want to bother you with it {name}, I can proofread it-"

→ "I insist. It's the least I can do for you."

Gepard thought for a moment before sighing. He gave you the now slightly wrinkled paper for you to read.Some sentences didn't make sense but then again it wasn't proofread. The short story was a historical fiction of the history of Gepard's hometown. The scenery of Belobog was different from the scenery of the Honkai Star City. Snow-covered meadows, a chilling breeze... It was a winter wonderland from what Gepard described it to be as back then before the Eternal Freeze. You took a pencil and helped Gepard rewrite some sentences.

As you helped him though, you couldn't help but feel a pair of eyes watching you as you did so. You looked up from the paper the paper briefly and saw no one was looking and the feeling vanished. But when you looked back at the paper, the feeling returned. You pushed the feeling away as you tried to focus on the story.

"Thank you,{name}, for the help," Gepard said once the proofreading was done.

→ "No need to thank me, just doing my duty as your friend."

"Still... It means a lot." He shortly smiled. He opened his mouth to say something else before a loud crash sounded. Your attention snapped to a broken teapot on the floor at the back of the classroom. Boiling water poured from the now shattered object. Dan Heng and Blade stood in front of it, a shocked expression on Dan Heng's face and a rather annoyed expression on Blade's. "Crap.." Dan Heng mumbled as he went to grab the broom from the closet at the back.

Blade simply stared at the mess before completely walking over it. "Well, that's the first.." Gepard mumbled.

→ "First of what?"

Gepard looked at you before looking back at Blade and Dan Heng. "Normally when they even interact with each other, there's always an argument that follows before Jing Yuan breaks it up. But strangely they haven't been arguing.."

→ "They argue a lot?"

The blonde nodded. "We don't know why but they really hate each other. We never really questioned it either." He shrugged as Dan Heng came back to clean the broken ceramic.

→ "Imma go help Dan Heng real quick."

You grabbed some stray papers from your bag before walking to Dan Heng to pick up the spilled water. The floor was dried and the teapot was thrown away. "Thank you for helping, {name}."

→ "It's no problem. Just helping a fellow club member."

Dan Heng gave a short nod, but you could've sworn he smiled too.

-×-

Jing Yuan clapped his hands together. "I'm happy to say this concludes our second meeting with our new member." He started, his cat-like smile on his features. "After sharing our short stories, how does everyone feel?" He turned to look at Gepard first.

"It was nice," Gepard answered.

Then he looked at Dan Heng.

"It was quite helpful." He replied.

Then at Blade.

"It was... eventful." He scoffed.

And then lastly at you.

→"It was interesting."

Jing Yuan nodded, his arms crossing in front of his chest. "I'm glad to hear we all have at least positive outlooks on today's activity. Perhaps we can do the same tomorrow but as for now, the club meeting is over." And with that, you began to walk home. The sun was already setting with the moon peeking its head out ready to take its shift in the sky.

-♡Blade's Short Story: ......The blood sprayed over the walls. Agonizing screams echoed throughout the halls, a blade dragging across the skin of the captive. A maniacal laugh follows, their eyes looking longing at the beating heart in their hand. Blood oozing from the organ as its former owner's limbs became limp. "Finally mine... all, all mine..."

A voice said. They tilled the organ upside down over their mouth. The blood poured from the heart's atriums into their mouths."Not enough, not enough.." They gasped before throwing the dead heart away. Now ripping at the throat and torso of the dead body. "I can't- Need more.." They gasped one more time before all humanity in them was lost...

~Fin~

Pins: @sarcastic-cookie

[aswegoalong72]

July 2024 Writing Update

Hello again! It’s been a few months since I’ve done one of these, and I apologize for that! Between art, life, and illness, I haven’t had as much time as I had hoped for writing.

I'm going to be very busy these next few weeks still, especially when I get a chance to get a new art pen, but I'm hoping to still make some steady progress when I can from time to time!

My last update was on March 6th, 2024, back when I would do weekly updates. Instead of doing that and adding unnecessary pressure unto myself, I'll just be doing monthly updates!

Before I formally begin the update, I would like to share a bit of news in regards to the project; I'm re-writing almost the entirety of Piercing The Veil!

Back when I had a bit of downtime to read what I had over in April, I found I had way too much exposition, not enough dialog, or character development. PTV is the first book I ever wrote, and a lot of the early chapters are definitely showing their lack of experience and age. I started PTV in like... 2021, I think. A lot has changed, and I want to fix it up to better represent all that has since then!

I think, or at least hope, that this will be the final re-write before I get the time to actually finish it. There's still yet a lot to add even once this rewrite is done, as this is going to definitely be considered a saga or epic. In my outline, I have roughly 101 more chapters I plan on adding before I can consider PTV "done". Even then, once I do finish it, I'm going to let it simmer while I work on the first four opening novels.

It's going to be a very, very long process before any of these books come out, or are even considered done. I'm hoping that once I get my art pen back, finish my art backlog, and finish reading my friend's webcomic outline, I can devote myself full time into writing. Until then, thank you for sticking along and keeping me company on this journey!

Without further ado, here's my progress since March!

Dawn - 12% complete (9,323 words) -146 words since March, rewrite for "Alkan's Will" underway Yuniv & Semat - ~1% complete (0 words) Planning stage, waiting on Dawn to be finished Deep Freeze - ~1% complete (0 words) Planning stage, waiting on prior books to be finished To Touch Tenav - ~1% complete (83 words) No change, partial intro only, planning stage Piercing The Veil - ~22% complete (120,531 words)/(8,610 rewrite) +8 words since March, rewrite well underway Head Above Water - ~2% complete (483 words) No change, partial intro only, planning stage Book 7* - ~1% complete (0 words) Planning stage, waiting for prior books to be finished Universal Ideal - ~1% complete (0 words) Planning stage, waiting for prior books to be finished

That's about where things stand. I expect to maybe get back into the art scene by late this month, finishing my backlog by late September if I push it enough, with writing resuming by early or mid October. I will most likely pour all my time into Piercing The Veil, and maybe a little bit of Dawn as well.

Once I get finished with those two, I'll get into the process of getting beta readers, fixing typos & plot holes, finishing an accurate timeline, and getting art for the covers and chapter titles. I'd like to get a decent part of the way into Yuniv & Semat before I publish as well, that way I don't have as much pressure to release things in a "timely" manner as well.

If, and this is a very big if, all things go according to plan, I should be able to publish Dawn by Q2 of 2025. Dawn is a collection of short stories spanning from the prehistory of Lyratet to the stagnation of civilization in what would be the early 1100s in the Gregorian calendar. It's sort of a primer for understanding Lyratet civilization, their early days, and what drives them in their quest for a better society.

Thank you for reading, and for continuing to stick around! Have a lovely day!

-GB

[whentranslatorscry]

Vol 4 The Testament of Okitegami Kyouko

Chapter 1. Kakushidate Yakusuke Being Hospitalized (1/3)

1

Crunch! came a sound much like the crushing of an egg.

Its source: my body.

Oblivious to what had happened, utterly confused about how— such words were too flowery for the situation. Before the thought 'utterly confused' even had a chance to register, my consciousness faded. All I could glean was— so this is how it feels to die.

2

Well, if we could die whenever we wanted, life wouldn't be much of a struggle, and while life is fleeting, it is also stubborn to the core.

After hovering at death's door for a full week, I awoke in a hospital bed, learning that a middle school girl had fallen from the roof of a building, her body crashing down directly onto me as I walked home. 

Somehow or other, it seems I'd cheated death. 

If I was expected to savor this miracle however, to humbly thank the heavens for this misfortune that had fallen upon me quite literally—was a bit much. It made me want to curse the heavens and ask what grudge they held against me.

Simply in the sphere of my everyday life, I consistently and constantly am embroiled in all sorts of crimes, from the smallest to the most heinous. Each and every time suffering wrong accusations, continually treated like a suspect, shouldering blame to the extent that it feels like a backpack. After a long while, finally— for the first time in forever— I found a job. Why on earth did this have to happen as soon as I found a job.

To lay out the extent of the damage: I did survive, but my right arm and thigh were severely fractured, so it goes without saying that I can't work for the time being— forget work, I couldn’t even write or eat— needless to say, the job was done for.

Using the opportunity of drafting resumes to also start writing something like memoirs, given my present crippled state, I felt I might have to become a writer for real.

Hearing my words, Kondou-san who came to visit gave me a stern talking to.

"Might have to become a writer? Oh, you don't know how hard it is to be a writer!"

Kondou-san served at a major publishing company, Sakusousha, where in his early thirties he already held the position of the head of the Comics Weekly magazine department. Perhaps because of his previous stint in the novels department, he wasn't tolerant of careless remarks like those I had just made. 

Before I could apologize for my blunder, Kondou-san chucked and said,

"Young people who underestimate writers are the ones who, unexpectedly, easily become writers—you've got real potential there. You could easily spin your everyday experiences into any number of books. This experience is indeed precious."

Was he mocking me? Or encouraging me? Both seemed possible, yet neither quite right. I figured I should take his words positively.

"And you know,"

Kondou-san went on, slicing a great deal of apple by the bed. It pained me to have my former boss do such a thing but, as an injured patient with a disabled right hand, all I could do was accept his kindness. Moreover, he would dislike it the most if I were to show such reserve—we are just friends now, and he wouldn't even allow me to use polite language.

"In the world of manga, a girl falling from the sky is quite a coveted event. But when it actually happens, it turns out to be such a tragedy... You've had your fair share of miserable experiences, but isn't being hospitalized quite rare for you?"

"Yeah, well, that's true. It's precious."

Considering what it was like, it would seem I got away with minor injuries, and according to the attending physician, as long as I remain conscious there would be no threat to my life. The broken bones, they weren't likely to cause any lasting damage either. The doctor assured me firmly that I could be discharged today if I was up to it—perhaps a polite way to hint that the hospital was running short of single rooms. 

"Don't think like that, no need to stay any longer than necessary, not with hospital bills being what they are. My goodness, gotta thank your parents for that sturdy body of yours."

"I guess so. I'm filled with such gratitude I could cry..."

I never hesitated to tell people about the inconveniences of my tall stature, surpassing one hundred and ninety centimeters (and I believe it to be the very reason for my constantly attracting unwarranted attention and suspicion). But if it was thanks to my height that my life was saved this one time, I could only call it a blessing in disguise.

"They say broken bones mend stronger once they heal. Not that I need to be any stronger."

"Ha-ha, that's just folk wisdom, though."

Folk wisdom, is it?

"it's not muscle after all; can't magic itself back to health," he added on. As expected of Kondou-san, so learned and well read.

Speaking of, I seem to recall some Greek philosopher or other who supposedly died when a tortoise shell fell on him and cracked his skull. Although meeting the body of a fallen middle school girl could be said to be no less misfortunate, at least it didn't become the cause of my death. Maybe my luck was not as bad as it could be.

What's more, I wasn't the only one saved.

The fallen middle schooler also managed to escape death by a hair's breadth, thanks to my chance presence below to break her fall. She fell from the seventh floor of a mixed residential and commercial high-rise— under normal circumstances she should have been dead by now. It was because she had me as a cushion that she wasn't.

A middle schooler—to be precise, a first year in middle school.

A girl not yet twelve years old— at the most she could be called a child, not even an adolescent.

This too was why she was saved.

Had my hulking physique been a size smaller, or she been a grade higher, neither of us might have come out of it unscathed. 

While I was now awake though, she was still hovering at death's door in some other hospital. Can't really say we both were unscathed. I couldn't know what state she was in, I'd just had heard that she was in a coma. But one thing can be assumed: it wasn't a state that would allow me to smugly proclaim, "It was thanks to my self-sacrifice that her life was spared."

…Not to mention that even if the treatment worked and she woke up fine, she may not thank me at all—because.

Because she'd jumped off that building of her own free will.  

Yes—a suicide jump.  

With a will and shoes neatly arranged.  

With no hope of rescue, she'd aimed for the asphalt road.

A guy like me walking beneath her was just an unwanted interference with her resolve—a nuisance in her eyes. Hence, despite my good intentions, I got no gratitude in return. 

Call me shallow if you will, but since I was heavily injured because of this and will almost certainly be fired, I was hoping I could at least be a hero for saving a child's life—when actually, I just served as a thing to break her fall in her attempt. 

Well, if you consider what suffering must have led the twelve year old girl to decide to take her own life, maybe it's not something to say "just" about, and compared to witnessing her crashing to the ground a few seconds earlier, things could have turned out worse.

She may not thank me, she may blame me, and maybe I should be proud to have saved a life all the same—even if it was the result of a mere accident.

Even if it's the result of bad luck, that's how it is.

"Hahaha, you're such a nice guy."

Kondou-san was really mocking me now.

"I wonder why someone like you is always accused as a criminal. Couldn't get off even this time, could you."

"......" 

To hear it depressed me very much. 

Misfortune being already a daily occurrence, I could never not feel depressed when wrongly accused— this time, though, was depressing to an exceptional degree.

Simply walking down the street, someone fell from above and crushed me, landing me in hospital with major injuries....However, since both of our lives were saved by that incident, depending on how you look at it, it could be considered not a heroic tale, but at least a miraculous survival case, a positive thing. 

But people saw nothing of the sort.

While I was unconscious all the TV broadcasts had apparently made it appear as if I had positioned myself under the fallen girl so as to deal her a final fatal blow.

What a final blow, she didn't even die— how do you have to twist and contort the facts to make it sound like that? In my haste I went through all the newspapers from the past week. The coverage was so outrageous I gave up halfway through reading.

In short, all the media pegged me as the culprit, accusing me of attempting to murder a middle schooler. Couldn't escape being implicated even with my life hanging by a thread— am I to carry this undeserved blame all the way to my grave? Truly an unprecedented, tailor-made misfortune just for me.

I considered my tendency to be falsely accused as having reached its peak.

I'd never fancied the thought of becoming a great detective, but it seemed I couldn't even be a victim. Perhaps because the "victim" was an underage schoolgirl, thankfully my name had not been plastered in the papers, which could maybe be counted as my solitary redemption.

But at this rate, it was only a matter of time until my real identity as 'secondhand bookstore clerk (25)' became public— not that it bothered me, but I felt terribly sorry for my boss who hired me.

"Secondhand bookstore clerk (25), eh? Who asked you to leave your job in publishing to work in a secondhand bookshop. That's what you get for having a foot in two boats."

It left me speechless how sharply those at the forefront of publishing could speak. 

But it did feel a bit like betraying my old boss.

I worked at the publishing company under Kondou-san for a time, and I was falsely accused and dismissed without a chance to defend myself. So I didn't really owe the company anything special.

But that's neither here nor there. To say my present state is some kind of divine retribution would be overstating things a bit, don't you think? 

"I doubt it'll actually come to that, but… just in case the police believe the media stories and come knocking, I should probably have a detective at the ready..." 

I muttered to myself, only half in jest. 

I wasn't sure what sort of detective to call for a situation like this still... My phone contacts had the business cards of several agencies, but I couldn't think of one offhand that specialized in dealing with falling girls. If anything, I'd love an expert at handling media circuses... A professional in media control, that would be...

That's when Kondou-san said,

"How about Okitegami-san?"

"Oh...? Nah, this kind of case is not suitable for Kyouko-san. Not Kyouko-san. Maybe it's the least suitable for her out of all the detectives out there."

Kyouko-san— Okitegami Kyouko. Calling her on was something I did in the past at Kondou-san's request; I'd introduced her to him as a detective. Should I say she was an oddball of a detective? A somewhat peculiar one, anyway.

Hence, she was perfectly suited to handle the trouble Kondou-san had been facing at the time. However, her particularities made her clearly unfit for this case.

From my numerous experiences (generally one should not have this many), recovering a normal life after being put through a media circus requires a long battle of endurance. Precisely because of this, there's absolutely no chance here for the detective with the fastest case-cracking rate to swoop in and "solve any case in a day".

"I was just thinking, what a blessing in disguise it would be to take this opportunity to get closer to her, you know?”

"Hahaaha… very funny, Kondou-san. You know as well as I do there's no chance for progress with Kyouko-san."

"Not with that attitude.”

He shrugged his shoulders, and continued.

"Well, since you'll get someone else to restore your image..."

He handed me a peeled apple.

"Could you call Okitegami-san for me?" 

"Huh? What do you…"

"That is, I..."

He said.

"I've got another case that I would like the forgetful detective—to forget."

3

Kondou-san was not only a friend but a benefactor of mine. I of course had no reason to refuse him.

During my past stint working at the publishing company I had found myself wrongly accused, and it was only Kondou-san who spoke up for me. For him I wouldn't think twice about going through hell and high water.

In fact, I'd go so far as to say that I, Kakushidate Yakusuke, had been perennially awaiting an opportunity to repay his kindness. Yet on this particular day, the abruptness of his request akin to a sudden blow left me stunned beyond measure.

Could Kondou-san have gotten into some trouble while I was hospitalized? His predisposition to misfortune must be on par with mine. Most people wouldn't require a detective more than once or twice in their lifetime. Especially not in such a short period.

"Listen here Yakusuke. To me it's not as sudden a request as it seems, nor am I trying to exploit your situation. The problem I'm facing and the predicament you've fallen into aren't entirely unrelated."

"Not entirely unrelated?"

"Not only, it's largely related to you…if I must be honest with myself, it's causing me a great deal of trouble. I imagine you're pretty troubled as well, and though I probably don't measure up to your level of trouble, it's still a considerable headache."

Speaking up to here, Kondou-san showed a weary smile— which I had missed as my thoughts were consumed with my own stuff, but now that I looked at him, I couldn't help seeing the exhaustion on his usually vibrant face.

What could've happened in the week I was unconscious? It was apparently largely related to me, but I didn't have the slightest clue. My obliviousness wasn't anything new, though.

"Something up with Satoi-sensei again?"

That Satoi-sensei was Satoi Aritsugu, one of the manga artists Kondou-san edited for, and also a wildly popular author for the magazine he was chief editor of.

The robbery at Satoi-sensei's studio that I had introduced Kyouko-san to was the last time we met. Satoi-sensei had left an impression on me as the temperamental genius type, so I figured she was was good at getting into trouble as she was at drawing.

But I was totally off base. I'd make a terrible detective.

"Satoi-sensei is doing great! Better than ever. The incident seems to have inspired her creatively. And Kyouko-san's personality was like stimulation to her."

That's excellent news, though it made me feel anxious on a personal level. I had wanted to write about Kyouko-san's detective adventures before someone as brilliant as Satoi-sensei put them to manga.

It seemed she wasn't one to draw mystery manga, thankfully...

"Then is it another mangaka?"

"You catch on fast, Yakusuke."

I was actually quite embarrassed by his praise.

I just didn't believe Kondou-san had any personal troubles, hence I figured if he needed a detective it had to be about his editorial work.

Nothing more ordinary or mundane than that, really.

"Well, it's not a manga artist I work with directly... I doubt you've heard of him yet. Fumoto-sensei. Fumoto Shun."

As you might guess, I hadn't heard of him.

However, "yet" was the word here. I surmised this must be an up and coming new manga artist likely to gain more fame and recognition going forward.

Next

[liketwoswansinbalance]

Hey, can I get being the Best friend or close Friends With Rafal or Rhian ( Or maybe both? ) maybe the reader is a childhood friend or something. The gender can be whatever or whichever you prefer.

That's if you are comfortable writing that. 😁

My apologies. I wasn't really planning on taking writing requests of this type since I'm not currently interested in writing reader prompts. At times, I sort of view most readers as a blank slate rather than a character themselves, unlike the way an OC or a canon character would have a more definitive personality.

Thus, determining reactions by the reader would be difficult unless I gave the reader a defined personality I chose and made up, which might not align with what you or others want from a self-insert. Sure, I suppose I could fill in the blanks myself, and give the reader traits, essentially making them closer to an OC, but I'm not particularly interested in writing an SGE OC at this time either.

So, overall, I think I'd have a bit of a hard time with the vague nature of this request/anticipating what the reader "should" be like since it doesn't really give me a "plot" to work with, just a blank "character," if you understand what I'm getting at. Sorry if this is at all unclear.

That said, when I originally said you could address characters directly (in this post), perform actions and get them to respond, or give them information or a query to react to, I am open to writing Rhian or Rafal responding to a friend-like gesture or a what-if of some kind, say, what if a reader gave Rhian and Rafal a gift as a friend. This would give me enough specificity to more easily work with.

It's just that I don't plan on representing the asker/reader as anything much further beyond an entity, as if they were the bringer of content/information or the doer of a deed.

In a lot of cases, a typical response might take a form like this:

What would happen if I/you/the reader did/gave/said [this] to the brothers?

And the response would be the aftermath of that action/prompt, usually, written more passively, so as not to involve the reader/asker/doer/whomever:

Q: What would happen if Agatha were given a bouquet?

A: She would sneeze because of her pollen allergies.

Or, alternatively, an answer might look like this:

A: Agatha: [sneezes] Thank you for the flowers, but I'm afraid I'm going to hand them off to Sophie instead. She will appreciate them more than I could.

So, in conclusion, you could "do" something, essentially, perform an action/impart a (potentially dramatic) piece of information, but I won't usually take requests the type of relationship you're requesting. Yet, feel free to send another ask, if you have anything in mind that I might actually write.

For further clarification, what you could probably expect to get from a non-reader request is something with more focus on the character(s) involved and their reaction to an item/action/question posed.  This would mean the focus inherently won't be on the doer of the action (the reader/asker) whether it's on themselves, as a person, or on a relationship with the canon characters.

Overall, I simply don't plan on establishing new relationships with non-canon characters in the case of asks, and I'll only tend to work with new events/novel scenarios/prompts, involving existent characters and relationships.

Most likely, I'll try to keep to some form of canon (or if specified, my fics), as far as characterization or relationships go, depending on what an ask requires. While I think the idea of the brothers having a best friend is sweet, it doesn't really fit with my (very subjective) sense of their characters. Albeit, Rhian might be open to having a friend outside of Rafal.

So, to sum this up: I don't (usually) take formal writing requests or those involving a reader, and I'm sorry if I had ever been misleading about this before. (When I wrote dialogue or scripted scenes for other prompts, it was because I was given a premise/writing prompt that actually contained a "plot"/inciting incident/central concept of some kind, and chose to make the characters respond to events/information/other content within what I interpreted, sort of, to be the bounds of canon or the particular hypotheticals.)

None of my previous asks have been complete stories (they tend to be scenes or snippets) like the nature of this request seems to suggest(?), and I'm tempted to say this is because a relationship is a state of being, not a singular event, and such a thing could require much more development or the invention of a self-insert's "character." Also, honestly, I'm not an expert on reader-inserts as a genre, so I might not be the ideal person to ask.

However, again, if you would like to perform an action or give me dialogue of some kind, addressed to the brothers, I'd (usually) be willing to let Rafal and/or Rhian or anyone else from canon respond to such a gesture or events, if the gesture isn't by you or another hypothetical person with a major role.

So, apologies again, but I don't plan on taking requests that involve readers in the vast majority of cases, yet what I will write are Rhian and Rafal (or other characters) responding to concrete things or scenarios, usually in the context of their already-existent relationships, unless they otherwise happened to meet someone from canon they did not previously know.

Basically, these conditions would exclude a new, blank-slate relationship since I can't be absolutely sure what a reader-insert should be like, to successfully align with an asker's tastes, and simply don't have an interest in writing this type of dynamic at the moment.

Finally, if you or anyone else would like me to clarify anything they didn't understand (sorry if anything was explained too circularly), or if anyone has more questions on what I am generally willing or not willing to write, please don't hesitate to ask!

[garthofshayeris]

Aight you seem like a good person to ask: I have essentually tripped into writing a fic which features Garth as a main character, with some canon divergence due to AU-ness (I just wanted to write a whump one-shot about siren!Dick and now I'm holding half the outline of a romance novel about being an outcast Atlantean and a homeless siren. Send help. Or enabling.)

I know the broader strokes of his character, but I'm hesitant to plot just a whole ass fic on that alone and I'm too broke to buy the relevant comics for reference. I'd appreciate a rundown and/or any fics, posts, character studies you feel do him justice (you're more than free to respond with '...just pirate the recommended reading list' I know I'm asking a lot) because I may have tripped into writing him entirely by accident but I hardly consider that an excuse to write him badly.

Hello! Thank you for reaching out, I do love to talk about Garth and I'm glad I give off that vibe!

However, based on this ask I would actually advise you not to write a fic using Garth as a character. I think the character you have in your plot is probably not Garth, and you will end up either changing your plot to fit him or changing him to fit your plot. Either way, I think the result will not be as successful as it could be. Instead, I think you should write your vision as intended and perhaps use either an OC, or a character you are already familiar with.

I think that you should write about what you like, and what you are passionate about, and what you are familiar with. Aquaman comics already contain mermaids and sirens (I imagine you mean a merperson and not a bird person from classical mythology when you say siren) that exists within the Atlantean world and therefore, you will already be altering Atlantean canon by virtue of not being familiar with those comics. And that is fine! Mermaid AUs are super common and super popular for a reason! They just typically do not contain canon DC lore, simply because many readers are not familiar with it. That said, if you are already not following DC Atlantean canon, there is no reason to use a canon character. If you aren't familiar with Atlantean canon, I would suggest not using it because it can be very complicated.

I would hesitate to use Garth as a major character in your fic, because although I am sure you know his broad strokes there is simply too much nuance in characterization for me to explain how to write him. I do not read any fics that involve Garth for that very reason; I am never satisfied with his portrayal, and it is often pretty obvious if the writer doesn't know him well or is basing him off of fanon posts.

I also write fic so I understand wanting to do a character justice! I think asking for advice is a wonderful first step and it's proof that you care a lot about character integrity. But as you said, the comic medium has a lot of barriers to entry. I would suggest getting to know this character and the world he lives in before deciding if he is someone you feel passionate about writing. There are a lot of pirating sites that I am happy to share where you can read Garth's greatest hits (and I am happy to provide recs, even beyond my posted reading list) Unfortunately, basing characterization off of my meta posts or summarizes is just going to be playing a game of telephone, where the result may not be something that will resonate with fans of the character.

I'm sure this is not the answer you were expecting and I apologize, but I don't think Garth is the other half of the romance in your fic. I think that character exists, either as an OC or an adapted canon character, and I wish you the best of luck in your fic writing journey!

[angyvalentine]

Reunited, at least for a while

Summary: "Leaving the center of the city behind him, he encouraged his steed to go at full gallop, at least for the short distance toward his home. He expected to see Lysandra in the garden with Calliope, perhaps the chaos of their arrival warned his wife of his incoming return. It was late in the afternoon, but surely his baby girl was still outside playing and enjoying the last rays of sun of the day before dinner.

Instead, nor Lysandra nor Calliope were anywhere to be seen."

------------

Ares is nowhere to be seen for now (shooooooo!), so here's some fluff (and a bit of angst of course) with Kratos and his first beloved family. I may add some fanart later, who knows!

Words count: 5.3k+

Pairing: Kratos x Lysandra

A/N: So - uhm- here we go again! It took me ages to finish it since I kept adding and rewriting stuff, not to speak about researches. Honestly? As much as I enjoyed GoW2018 (still waiting for Ragnarok on PC), I really think that Lysandra and Calliope deserve more love. Like, A LOT (that's why I'm quite glad I found artists like @bittybonbon and @the-shy-artisan, at least I've someone who can understand me lmao). They deserved to be happy. So here I am, writing stuff (hopefully decent one!) and drawing a lot about them (even if I'm slow like a sloth :°D) =w= I apologize for any mistake, English isn't my first language ;-;

Note: I know that during the games we mostly hear Calliope call Kratos "Father", but in the first game, in the final illusion, she calls him "Daddy" (even "papa" in the second novel). And giving her age in this piece, I prefer to stick with it.

A side note about Kratos: while we mostly know him as a cold man that actually let himself go in Ragnarok, we should remember a bit of details from the comics and Ascension too: beside the fact that he challenged the Gods to save his daughter, in the comics he touches Lysandra quite often - especially holding. What about Ascension? Beside the (in)famous illusion, we can see that he held his wife's hand when he collapsed after killing her and Calliope. The man loved physical contact with his beloved ones, prove me wrong.

Read it on AO3! - I'd love to know what you think about it :3

Another battle.

Another conquest.

Another victory.

Leading back his army toward Sparta, Kratos felt good.

That one had been a good raid. No losses, no one of his men injured. Their target surely hadn’t been a great village but the resources it had could have been useful for Sparta. Still, the lord of that pathetic town pleaded to be spared, they’d have accepted Sparta’s supremacy over them. Slavery in Spartans kitchens would have been way better than death by his soldiers’s hands - but if there was something that Kratos hated, it was cowardice. That old fool was dead even before finishing his pathetic pleas. That day, heads fell like leaves in that warm autumn.

Behind him, his soldiers rode exchanging brief chatters – some remembering particular victims, sadistically laughing at their fear shortly before their deaths, some others were way more eager to come back to their women.

Kratos tightened the grip on the sack he held in his fist, treasures and gems hidden in it. He wasn’t really interested in the spoils he took from the defeated’s treasure-houses, and he well knew that Lysandra had no lust for them either. She always told him she didn’t care for gems and jewels – she just wanted him to come back home to her. He would have left them in the hands of his superiors.

And yet… he found a ring. A ring with a blue stone – was that Azurite? Funny, since they considered it related to Athena - mounted into a silvery omega symbol. Lysandra often wore blue dresses, and that hue was nice on her pale skin and dark hair. When he saw her for the first time she was dancing in the middle of the Geronos, her body hidden by blue veils, and he thought she was somehow embraced by the waves of the sea. He was a warrior, but he could recognize ethereal elegance when it danced so clearly in front of his eyes.

Not to mention that they thought clear blue had the power to keep evil away. He wouldn’t have let anything in the whole world hurt his family, he was sure of it. But, well… the stone wouldn’t have done any harm. And the symbol was so related to who he was – war itself, death for his enemies. That ring was a perfect representation of their union – he deeply loved his wife, there was no doubt about that – and he held her close to his heart just like that silvery omega held the stone mounted. It was the only jewel he actually chose to keep, and it was safe in a pouch tied to his belt.

He wouldn’t have said it loud, but he was eager to see his family again. Maybe that fool Ajax would have had to wait to have his wife in his arms sooner that the day after (or maybe he wasn’t so willing to share her again like before?), but Kratos knew that his Lysandra was waiting for him, and him only. He internally smirked, already tasting her lips moulding against his own and the warmth of her body in his arms.

And of course, he wanted to see his little Calliope. She was growing so fast into an almost-carbon copy of her mother - she had Lysandra's sweetness and soft dark curls on her head. But her eyes – oh, her eyes are golden like his ones. So similar to the pure amber made from the Heliades’ tears.

When he left for that campaign she was still learning how to properly run, still a bit uncertain on her chubby short legs despite being barely two years old. She was a little bursting ball of energy, there was apparently nothing that could stop her from exploring and gaining little bits of independency, day by day – it was something that really made him proud of his daughter. And even if he was sorry to miss all of her earlier steps in life, he had duties as a Captain of Sparta’s army, may them be the daily trainings in the fields, or the campaigns that lasted months. He had had to wait until she was asleep to depart for that raid, because the poor thing had started crying her eyes out clinging to his leg at his first attempt to leave.

They were nearby the settlements little far from Sparta. He squeezed the horse’s sides between his legs and clicked his tongue, making it sprint at full speed and lifting clouds of dust. His soldiers quickly followed him, roars in the air that in the city were welcomed like fine music. In the distance, Kratos could see the crowd gathering to welcome back the victorious army. He could hear them praise him and his companions and send praises the deities who were watching over them, granting the valorous soldiers another victory. Instructors pointed at them to the younger boys, showing them how they should have become in the future – strong, fearless, ready to do anything to bring glory to their city.

He pulled the reins to make the horse slow down into a gentle trot, before stopping in front of the king who was waiting for them with the royal guard. Dismounting from his horse, he put down the sack and knelt in front of the king, offering him the spoils of the raid.

«You never fail to show the worth of your troops, Kratos.» The older man said, looking with proud at the captain and his soldiers behind him «Our city is grateful for the honour you brought us once again. May you all go to rest now, as tomorrow will bring us all another day to prove our worth.»

More praises were shouted from the crowd, and that felt good. And he was eager to conquer even more, to show that he and his companions could have bought even more glory to their city. As he mounted again on his horse, Kratos could see the women impatiently waiting for their husbands to rejoin them in the warmth of their homes. He dismissed his soldiers, whom didn’t waste a second to search for the respective wives. With a slight flick of his head he took leave to the king and gently nudged his horse with the heel of a foot to start his depart.

He totally ignored the whores who kept calling and inviting him in the brothel, unlike some of his men who didn’t have anyone that was waiting for them at home. The days when he took countless women to his bed were long gone and he was perfectly fine with it.

Leaving the center of the city behind him, he encouraged his steed to go at full gallop, at least for the short distance toward his home. He expected to see Lysandra in the garden with Calliope, perhaps the chaos of their arrival warned his wife of his incoming return. It was late in the afternoon, but surely his baby girl was still outside playing and enjoying the last rays of sun of the day before dinner.

Instead, nor Lysandra nor Calliope were anywhere to be seen. The door was closed just like the curtains on the windows. For a moment he thought he maybe missed them in the crowd, or maybe they didn’t come across on the road. But he could see smoke coming up from the chimney, he was sure they were both in there. Yanking the reins, he quickly dismounted and tied the horse to a big ring on the garden wall, rushing toward the door. Still no noises from inside, nor voices.

He hesitated for a moment, before gently pushing it open. The light inside was quite dim, with just the fireplace lit. Kratos was about to call for his wife, when he saw her silently padding out of Calliope’s bedroom, careful to quietly close the door. He had yet to see her face, but the posture itself suggested how exhausted she was – hopefully, only due to Calliope’s vivacity. But even the hair she normally kept down her back was tied in a messy bun, and he knew how much she liked to take care of her hair. She gasped when she noticed his hulking figure in the middle of the room, and froze for a moment. He didn’t get the chance to say anything before she walked to him, gently cupping his face in her hands.

«You are finally back, my love.» She murmured, rubbing her thumbs on his cheeks and searching for his amber eyes «Are you all right? You are not injured, are you?»

«I am fine, Lysandra.» He said, softly taking her hands and kissing her knuckles «But you…»

«I am fine as well, Kratos.» She quickly dismissed his worries, lowering her gaze. She leaned forward his chest, resting her forehead on his armor and letting out a sigh «Now that you are here, it will be better.»

Kratos rested his hands on her hips, his lips brushed on her hair while speaking. «Where is Calliope?»

Before his wife could actually answer him, rough coughs could be heard from their daughter’s bedroom. Lysandra tensed for a moment, then rushed to get a clean cloth from one of the cabinets and went back into the room.

Kratos followed her, stopping at the doorstep to watch her knelt at the side of the bed, where Calliope was resting nestled under a fleecy lamb’s-wool blanket. He heard Lysandra encouraging the child to spit on the cloth, before gently wiping her lips and moving some curls from her eyes.

«Your father is back, sweetie.» She murmured, moving to the side to reveal Kratos’s figure behind her.

Calliope looked at him with glassy eyes, unhappy that she didn’t have the strength to run into her father’s arms to welcome him back. After his depart, and countless weeping on Lysandra’s lap, she had just hoped to see him again as soon as possible -  her mother had explained her that he didn’t leave to his normal trainings, and Calliope wasn’t used not seeing him at home for such long time.

«Daddy…» her voice was broken from the soreness in her throat, and she moved a bit under the blanket as to reach for him.

Lysandra got up to move and make some room for Kratos, who took her place by their daughter’s side. He gently stroked her cheek, feeling Calliope’s hand grabbing his to keep him in place.

«How are you feeling, my child?» he spoke with a low voice, as if a louder tone could bother her.

«It hurts.» she whined, placing her other hand on her throat «I want to go out and play with you, daddy.»

«You will do. When you will feel better.» Kratos rubbed his thumb on her warm skin, softly scratching the nape under her curls. He waited until he saw her closing her eyes, before turning around to look at his wife behind him «How long has she been like this?»

«Almost a week, by now.» Lysandra replied with a tired sigh.

She took a couple of steps back, inviting him to follow her in the kitchen to let Calliope rest. Kratos leaned forward to kiss his daughter’s cheek before assuring to be back soon, and got up with a grunt from his chest.

When he reached Lysandra, she was busy boiling some water by the hearth. He could see how nervous she was, even just by the fact that she kept stirring the water with a wood spoon – and he perfectly knew why.

Lysandra was a strong woman, sweet and calm, and she deeply loved her family. She had loved their child from the very first moment the healer had told her she was pregnant – and he remembered how scared she was when the midwives told her the child was sick, meant to be brought to the council – meant to be killed, because she was ill, weak – and there was no place for weak ones in Sparta. She had collapsed from the birthing table, naked, dirty, in pain and unstable on her legs, demanding to see her newborn, begging her husband to do something even if she knew they couldn’t break the laws. She had almost cried when she saw her baby, how small and cute she was despite her flush skin being scarred with fistulas and red spots. But the worst was seeing the soldiers of the royal guard bursting into their home, demanding to surrender Calliope to them – Kratos even had tried to defend them both, his sword unsheathed and ready to fight anyone who would ever dare to lift a finger on their daughter. But they had taken her, cruelly tearing the crying baby away from her arms, despite giving Kratos the chance to find the ambrosia that could have cured her.

She had spent weeks alone waiting, trying to heal, praying that her husband could come back in time to save their little Calliope. It had been pure agony looking at the empty crib that Kratos had previously built for their child.

Nonetheless…

She had seen the young boy throwing her baby off the cliff on the mount Taygetos. And she thought she would have died of heartbreak in that moment, almost collapsing from relief when she had seen Kratos flying on the back of a Roc with their baby, safe and still alive, in his arms.

For many nights after that day, Kratos had woken up in the middle of the night feeling her side of the bed barely warm. He knew that Lysandra had to get up to breastfeed Calliope, but she always took too long to come back to him. And after a couple of nights, he had discovered why – he always had found her on a chair in Calliope’s bedroom, the baby soundly asleep in her arms under her mother’s gaze. It was like she wasn’t aware of his presence, her gaze empty despite being fixed on her child. She didn’t even care to cover her breast, letting Calliope sleep with her face pressed on it – and he always knelt by her side, softly inviting her to come back to their bed.

«She is safe now, Lysandra.» Was what he always told her, gently brushing his wife’s cheek with his index finger «Nothing will hurt her ever again.»

«She will heal, Lysandra.» He said, holding her shoulders in his big hands «You know that no one will take her ever again.»

What a deja-vu. It was like she was stuck in those moments, her mind trapped in those nights she spent holding the newborn in her arms, fearing she might suddenly disappear once again.

«I know.» She lifted her chin, blinking her eyelids to stop those frustrated tears «I know, Kratos. Bad colds like this can happen, and she is a strong child. It is just… sometimes bad memories come back when I less expect them. Not much Spartan-ish for the wife of the greatest Captain of the city, am I right?» she let out a humourless chuckle, slightly turning her head to look at him.

He sniggered, mumbling in her hair «Indeed. But I would not want you any different.»

She sighed with a smile on her lips, before pointing at a jar on a shelf nearby «Would you mind passing it to me, please? The healer suggested me to brew linden tea for Calliope, it should help her healing faster.»

Kratos did as he was told, observing his wife pouring the boiling water in a cup. There was something familiar in that act, something that was buried in his childhood memories. Memories of a long lost past, when there were just him, Deimos, and their mother Callisto.

«Linseeds.» he said, getting a perplexed look from the woman in front of him «My mother always prepared linseed poultice for my brother, when he was sick. It should be useful as well.»

He rushed out of the door before Lysandra could ask him to go get some. She heard him spur his steed, its hoofs loud on the stone path. Collecting the cup she just prepared for Calliope, she cautiously walked back into the bedroom just to find her daughter looking at her.

«Where is daddy?» she immediately asked, fearing he could have left again without a goodbye.

«He just went to get something good for your health, sweetie. He will be back soon.» Lysandra helped her getting sit, bringing the cup near her pouted lips «There, your tea. Sweet like you.»

The little girl sipped slowly, her tiny hands on her mother’s ones. She coughed a couple of times, yet she was pleased to feel her throat and tummy warming up thanks to the beverage. She gladly accepted the spoon of honey that Lysandra was handing out to her, swallowing it in a single gulp.

Lysandra wrapped the cup in a cloth, so Calliope wouldn’t get her hands burned, and got up to retrieve a big, soft towel –the one she used for Calliope when she would take baths. While the communal baths were built right adjacent to the gymnasia, ready for everyone to enjoy vapor baths, they recreated a smaller one in their own bathroom. A smaller fireplace warmed up the room, bowls of water could be used with essential oils. And such treatment was something the healer suggested Lysandra to try on Calliope – peppermint would have helped her breathing better, as well the warm steam in the room. It was a short ritual, yet a nice one for both of them.

She was about to take her child to the bathroom, when they both heard Kratos coming back from the city. He dropped a bag full of linseeds on the kitchen table and reached the hearth, to check if there was still enough water in the pot. She noticed that, after all of that, he was still clad in his battle armour – and looking for a moment at her daughter, she suggested him to take the bath with their little girl. She knew Calliope wanted to spend as much time as possible with her father, even in her poor condition. Said child quietly waited near the fireplace while Lysandra helped Kratos unfastening his cuirass, the belt left already on the floor.

The armour was heavy in her hands, still dirty from the battle and the travels, but Kratos quickly dismissed her concerns – he would have cleaned it later. She left it on its stand, collecting the belt as well to place it on the shoulder of the cuirass. That’s when she noticed the pouch tied on it, and she shot him a puzzled look – it was quite unusual for him to keep stuff from his raids, but her husband was giving her his back, bended to pick up Calliope who didn’t waste a second to hug his neck and nuzzle her face on it.

He carefully sat in the tub holding his daughter close to his chest, before placing her on his lap. Kneeling beside them, Lysandra used her own headband to tie Calliope’s hair so to keep it dry, and thankfully the child let her do the job – in contrast to when she was way healthier, and loved to play with her mother in the water.

«You know what the healer said, Calliope.» Lysandra said, placing two towels near the fireplace to warm them up, as well the bowl with water and essential oils «Breath deeply, sweetie.»

The warmth in the room was making the child a little drowsy. She tried to find a more comfortable position on her father’s lap, still doing as her mother instructed. She looked so small on Kratos’s chest, even compared to his hand that was slowly rubbing her back up and down.

Even if Lysandra knew how much Kratos loved their daughter, it still almost brought her to joyful tears how such a hulking, bloodthirst warrior could be also so sweet and gentle with his baby girl. He never cared that his wife didn’t give birth to a boy, when the city itself hoped for more young, strong warriors for its army – he had loved Calliope from the very beginning. He had even challenged the gods themselves to save her, got his hands dirty with blood, even Spartan blood, to accomplish his mission. And here he was, tired after his return from war campaign, humming the same lullaby she so often sang to her newborn, with the now grow up child almost asleep on his chest. Lysandra focused on the scene in front of her, trying to imprint it on her mind – the gentle lapping of the water in the tub, the crackling of the fire, and their little family finally together. She sadly knew that would have been a rare occasion.

When Calliope started coughing again, she quickly put a cloth near her mouth while Kratos tapped – careful to limit his strength – her back. Throwing the rag away, Lysandra wrapped her in the warm towel, sitting near the fireplace to dry her and change her into a fresh tunic, while her husband finished to wash himself. Smirking to himself, he was well aware that Lysandra wouldn’t have welcomed him between the sheets if he was still dirty and smelly of blood and dust.

«Take your time.» she said, picking up the child and walking toward the door «I have yet to prepare dinner.»

«Daddy told me we can have bawley cakes.» Calliope looked briefly at her father in the tub and then at her mother, hope shining in her amber eyes «With honey.».

«Oh? He said he wants the barley ones?» Lysandra gave her an amused look, correcting her «Does he want to eat all of your honey too?»

«Not all, no.» she hid her face in her mother’s neck «I need it too.»

«But your father is such a big man, he needs to eat a lot, sweetie.» she raised an eyebrow, looking at Kratos who decided to play along.

«Your mother is right, Calliope.» he said, an unusual light tone in his voice «I need to eat a lot to stay this big and strong, and to protect both of you.»

«No need!» she squeaked, horrified at the though of losing all of her precious honey. Not even the cough stopped her «Mom is strong too. You can have two spoons of honey.»

«Two only?».

«Two.» she showed him just her index finger. Seeing her father raising an eyebrow, as if he was waiting for something more – inviting her to think – she added the thumb too.

Lysandra laughed heartfully, kissing her cheek and bringing her out, closing the door behind them to keep the room warm. They went back to Calliope’s room, where her mother made her lie on her bed while she’d busy herself in preparing the linseeds. It didn’t take her long and, when the seeds were ready, she carefully wrapped them in a linen cloth and placed it on Calliope’s chest. It was a new thing for her, it felt strange at first and she played with the jelly feeling inside the compress, moving the seeds around the cloth. She barely lift her head when she heard Kratos getting out of the bathroom, warm steam lifting from his heated skin, and peeped both of her parents sharing a hug – oh well, it was her dad hugging her mother, his arms were so massive that she could barely see Lysandra’s frame. A hand of hers lifted to caress his arm and they stayed there, in silence.

When Kratos was home, her mother was happier – she was a child, but she could see the difference. It was as if his presence could soothe Lysandra’s soul. She of course was happy as well, she wanted to spend as much time as possible with her daddy. She wanted to attend festivals with both her parents and clap her hands while both her and her father would watch Lysandra dancing with the other girls in the ritual dances. A new fit of coughs stopped her thoughts, and she saw Kratos getting closer to her. She spat again in the cloth he put under her mouth – she was so tired of that disgusting thing! – and grabbed his hand to keep him close. He sat on the floor, his features relaxed while looking at his daughter.

«I love you, daddy.» she smiled under the blanket, holding his hand in both of her ones and rubbing her cheek against it.

«Me as well, little one.» a rare smile lifted a corner of his mouth «Your mother and you are the reason I keep fighting. To keep both of you safe.».

----

The silence was very comfortable while they dined. The bread was freshly-baked, the barley soup warmed their tummies, and Calliope got to have her much-loved barley cakes. She watched carefully as Kratos made a show of getting a third spoon of honey, smirking while helping himself.

«You said two.» she mumbled, counting on her fingers and showing him thumb and index ones.

«You said two, Calliope.» he replied with a smile, the spoon still over the jar «Not me.»

The child was left speechless, while she considered in silence his answer. He could almost see the gears in her brain processing the whole scene, and she showed him again the fingers.

«Two. Mom said it will help me grow big and strong.».

«It will indeed, yes.»

«So I need to eat it.» she looked at her dish, where she had some leftovers of the barley soup, and pieces of her portion of cake. She took one of those, passing it to her father «You can have this.»

Kratos let the spoon fall into the jar, gently pushing back her hand with a smile «Worry not, little one. I am fine right now, enjoy your cake and honey.».

Lysandra looked at her child with a faint smile on her lips. Despite being so adamant about not giving more honey than necessary, she was still willing to share something she loved as much. Seeing her husband poking his daughter's nose to remove crumbles and honey, she knew that she needed to hold those moments close to her heart, for times when darkness would have threated to stick her mind in horrible memories.

---

It took a fair amount of time to put Calliope to bed. She was so happy to have her father home that sleeping was almost a waste of time, for her. Kratos had to promise again and again that he’d have cooked tiganites – like, a lot of tiganites – for her breakfast, and that he would have spent the whole day with her, playing or riding his horse in the fields. She held close her rag doll while Kratos bended to kiss her forehead and bid her goodnight.

Just before reaching Lysandra in their bedroom, he remembered the pouch still tied to his armour belt. He retrieved it, opening the lace and letting the ring fall onto his palm. The blue stone shined with the fire of the hearth, and Kratos took a moment to stare at it. It was perfect for his wife.

He closed his fist, hiding it, and turned around toward the room where Lysandra was waiting for him. He found her at her small toilet, busy detangling her hair before getting to bed. The light chiton she used to sleep left half of her back completely bare, much for his pleasure. She met his gaze in the mirror, smirking at his reflection.

«Seeing something you like?» she said, getting up with calculated movements.

She was his personal siren, the most beautiful creature he ever met in the whole wide world – and she was his, and his only.

He sat on the bed, grabbing her waist when she got within his reach. She felt there was something hard between her side and his palm, yet she got distracted when he started dragging her down with him, forcing her to quickly grasping on his shoulders for support. She stared down at her husband, he was looking at her with such intensity that it was like he was trying to pry into her soul. She felt one of his hands rubbing her back up and down, and she was surprised he didn’t even try to squeeze her rear.

«Under other circumstances, I would have loved you all night long.» he murmured, moving her hair from her eyes «But you need to rest. I’ll take care of Calliope if she’ll need anything.»

«Are you sure?» slowly, Lysandra laid down on his side, her head on his chest while she traced the crimson tattoo on his pec with a finger «You just came back from war.»

«The worst one was inside here.» Kratos gently poked her forehead, cradling her in a protective hug «I am not that blind that I will not admit it.».

She hid a smile against his skin, circling his torso – at least, trying to - to hug him. She was glad to have another proof that, under the brutish façade, there was a man that was trying to be considerate as well. Peeping at his face, she saw how uncharacteristically his features were relaxed, no trace of his usual scowl.

They stayed in silence for a while, and Kratos thought that Lysandra was collapsed from exhaustion, before hearing her voice again.

«Will you tell me what are you hiding in your fist?» she murmured, lifting her gaze to meet his one.

Kratos moved his hand from under the pillow, looking for a moment at his closed fist before searching for his wife’s hand with his free one. Lysandra let him move her arm, until he brought her hand in front of his face. Carefully, he put the jewel on her ring finger and waited for her reaction. And by the lack of any comment, he knew she was pretty much surprised. She was looking at the ring, examining it carefully – especially the omega symbol. But the fact that she was smiling was a good thing, he thought.

«Did it remind you of us?» she asked, leaning toward him to kiss his jaw.

He hummed in response, tightening his hold on her side. When he heard her chuckling he lowered his gaze on her, perplexed.

«It’s just funny how much you’re devoted to the rules of our kings, yet we broke so many of them just with our marriage.» she said, caressing his chest «You didn’t make me cut my hair.»

«You did. A bit.» he retorted, staring at the ceiling – he knew how right she was.

«I should have cut it short. I just cut it less than a span.»

«But you loved your long hair. It suited you better.»

«Do you remember what you told me during our wedding night?»

«… “let us do it again”.»

«What? Not that!» she playfully hit his chest, her cheeks turning crimson while he snickered at her expenses.

«I told you I wanted to see the sunrise with you. And we did so.»

«… Indeed. Instead of dropping me home and hurrying back to the barracks.»

Again, he knew she was absolutely right. But loving her that night had filled the emptiness he had felt inside himself for such a long time, he wouldn’t have even hoped to find some relief from it. No amount of battles, nor sex with random women could satisfy him anymore. Theirs, instead, had been pure harmony of bodies and souls. Of course, once found, he didn’t want to let her go.

Strangely, it was hard for him to say it loud. He just hoped Lysandra could actually feel how sincere his love for her was.

Kratos squeezed her in a hug, pressing his lips in her hair.

«Sleep now. Or morning will come before we know it.» he mumbled, holding her close.

Lysandra smiled again, finding a comfortable position pressed on her husband’s side and hiding a yawn against his pec. She finally felt safe, able to enjoy a nice night of sleep, knowing that he was watching over them both. That at least for a while, their family was finally reunited.

[sl104]

Summary: It's a simple question, a joke even.

But you are drunk..

College AU! Abby x reader

No use of "y/n"

Before anything, this isn't proofread

So, if there are any grammar mistakes or misspelling, I apologize..

________________________________________________________________________

On a late night, a rather cold one. 

Your head laid heavy against the wooden dining table. Much to your dismay, you were wasted—rosy-cheeked, mind coated in sweet honey. You weren't even sure if you were trashed from the liquor or her giggles and that soft grin plastered on her face. 

She was intoxicating, leaving you dizzy. 

…plus the booze of course

Groggy, words slurred, “We…we should be going to bed” you remind her. 

You finally lay your back against the chair, your eyes finally meeting hers. She looked fine, you’d even think she didn’t drink at all, but her continuous giggle and pout said otherwise. 

“Just one more question. Hm?” her voice, god, how could you say no? 

You groan, “fine” 

She chuckles.

You both started this... game? Taking turns asking each other questions, one question at a time. It was almost a challenge. You were obligated to answer whatever question the other asked. You couldn't turn away from answering, no matter how embarrassing or shameful it may be. A fun way to open up to each other, you suppose. 

With this little game, she even found out you were a writer, oddly enough you don't tell people about it. That piqued her interest immensely. Asking you every question she can ever think of.

“Alright, your novel is about a murderer” 

You nod. your eyes strain, fighting the battle against sleep. 

“If you were a murderer would you kill me? How would you do it?’ she questions with a pleased smirk, arms crossed against her chest. 

She almost seemed too proud of her question. 

You laugh, hand clutching your stomach.

“Seriously?” you breathe,

“You have to answer” the smirk still glued to her lips. 

 You oblige. 

You felt bold….liquid courage, perhaps?

You both had this ongoing flirting, though it was her doing. So, for once, you'd commence the thrilling flirt.

Your words spilled from your plush lips with such ease, every drop of liquor faded. What once kept your mind fuzzy was gone. Your words are sweet dripping with adoration, your eyes on her at every word. You could even see your reflection in her blue eyes. 

“I would never lay a hand upon you,” you confessed.

“On the contrary,” your head titles to the side in thought, and your gaze falls to her lips.

“I'd kill those who belittle you or even just glance your way,"

“So no I could never, not with hands that are covered in filth” Your eyes fall back on hers with a smirk. 

Her eyes were blown wide, bewildered. Flushed, the tips of her ears ardent, if she ever had an ounce of sleep it had slipped away as fast as those words slipped from your lips. That shit-eating grin was long gone and in exchange, her lips slightly parted. Brows pinched together, she couldn’t come to process what she just heard. 

To her it was just some cheeky question, teasing you about your writing, 

A fucking joke. 

The last thing she expected was that.. 

Just minutes, no seconds ago you slurred your words from intoxication.

How could you say something with such ease and with such confidence?

Yes, she was panicking, she swallowed thickly. 

“I-” fumbling over her own words.

Your gaze was still on her, amused by her reaction. 

“What’s wrong? Do you not like my answer?” you pout.

Her brows were still pinched together as she rubbed her forehead. “I think we should head to bed, we have a lecture in the morning” she huffed, avoiding your question completely, as she looked elsewhere.

A small giggle escapes your lips as you stand up from the table. Crossing your arms against your chest. 

you snickered, “So now you want to go to sleep? Alright then” 

Now you’re the one left with the shit-eating grin. 

Though, as you walk into your bedroom, closing your door. Your back fell against your mattress, your body trembled anxiously. 

You suddenly feel hot and flushed. Both hands fell to your cheeks and in unison, though you couldn't hear her and she couldn't hear you. 

"Holy shit," was mumbled under both of your breaths. 

♧◇♤♡

This is my first story here... a little nervous

[blinkaftermidnight]

Hiya, I've been asked by a friend to send u this message (they're not on Tumblr)

Message:

Hey it's hidden beauty from ao3. I read your outline for your fic for S3 and I think it's amazing. I think others would also enjoy reading it as it would give a lot of people's headcanons closure. BUTTT I would never want to see you do that if your heart wasn't in it. I saw it in your style as i read it and it brought me a lot of peace and smiles reading it. Sorry I'm not there on your star wars fic, I never watched the movies and have 0 understanding of it despite being a big space movie/tv show fan. I'm so glad you wrote so much Leatin for TW and I hope you continue to grow as a writer. I wanted to reach out to you but couldn't do so as I refuse to make a tumblr account XD so I enlisted my buddy that I made from the wilds discord server to do it. Take it easy, you've got a forever reader in me.

Thank you for passing on the message, and tell your friend thank you for me as well. Truly, it really means a lot to me. And if you would pass the rest of what I say, that'd be great too, even though this is gonna get long.

So let me attempt to explain a little why I have an outline and not a completed fic. The fic that I plan to release after the Star Wars AU was being written around the same time I was working on the outline for the s3 fic, and they felt fairly similar to me. Idk if I can blame outlining or the fact that I was writing a fic that seemed too similar to parts of the outline for shaking me out of actually writing the s3 fic. I have two and a half chapters actually written, I think, and there's not much of it I'm particularly fond of, even though I like the premise I came up with overall. Translating the outline into an actual fic, in this specific case, is difficult for some reason.

I'm slowing down with writing right now. It happens. I wrote A LOT between February and the beginning of July. My life's changing. If it wasn't burnout, I'd still be forced to slow down, even though I've proven to myself that I can write a shit ton in a short amount of time if I'm given the opportunity and have the will to do it. It normally comes back around, but I'm not gonna attempt to predict what my writing-related future holds at this point.

I may just use this opportunity to spill a little more emotion or at least share some of my writing journey over the last year and a half. I started The Wilds on a whim, at 10 pm, while I should've finished a different show. Literally I can't explain what compelled me to watch the show, and I stayed up until 3 because I was hooked. 1x09 convinced me of Leatin, and I was a FTWD writer but suddenly felt compelled to write for yet another non-canon wlw ship that didn't have a lot of fic (at least, when I wrote my first Leatin fic, there wasn't much). I wrote a oneshot that my now best friend commented on before we started messaging; writing that fic literally brought us together. Writing Leatin fic got me through my second - and ultimately final - semester of law school. I posted daily updates of and it's like our world but we're the last ones left in the midst of law homework and exams. Similarly, I wrote the exes fic, we're falling apart still we hold together, while deciding to leave law school and posted chapters during exams. I wrote a fic without an endgame that I liked and know plenty of people did not. I forced the ending of another fic because I was afraid people wouldn't like what I felt was its natural conclusion and chickened out of following it. I wrote two AUs I never expected myself to write (fake dating and soulmates). Writing i'll be waiting on you forever helped me work through and process some of my personal shit.

All of that - and I haven't even covered every Leatin fic I've written - to say, writing Leatin fics has helped me in ways even I probably don't fully understand. It's made me friends that I love dearly. Though I will say, my popularity did spook me for a while. I've made peace with it, and now it's kinda funny. Anyway, for the last year and a half, I've had something I've wanted to write about, something to pour all my creative energy into. I've been able to share my work, and save for a few minor things, everyone has been unbelievably kind to me. The cancellation sucks, but it's still hard for me to be sad because writing these fics and discussing them and making friends because of them has been one of the biggest highlights of the last year of my life. I mean, my life is not what I expected it to be back when I began writing Leatin fics. So much has changed, but working on Leatin fics remained consistent and it helped me. It helped me personally, since writing is my coping mechanism, but it also helped me push myself as a writer, and I think I've seen results.

I'm not sure I'm making sense anymore. It's 2 am lol so I'll stop, but I'm glad the s3 outline is useful for something. Otherwise it might've just sat on my drive forever, and what good would that do? Alright, I'm done for real now. Thank you, seriously.

[mxbloopsies]

I don't use pronouns

You may ask, "well how does that work? Doesn't everyone have pronouns?"

Well yes, but also no.

I'm fairly sure everyone uses the pronoun "I" (Though I might very well be wrong) but not everyone, for example me, use the third person/thing pronouns, which would be "she/he/they/it/ze/(and more)" and that is what I am referring to when I say "I don't use pronouns"

Well how do you not use third person/thing pronouns? Do you just say the person's name over and over again?

Well that is certainly one way though that might take the flow off your text or words quite easily. But worry not for there are other ways to go around that.

Some that come to mind right now would be

1. Referring to what the person is you are referring to.

It might be easier with fictional non human characters, but you can do it with real humans as well.

An example of this could be

"Oh, I think she went to sleep"

Okay well this character is a demon, let's use that!

"Oh, I think the demon went to sleep"

Unfortunately most of the people you are going to be talking to are humans and not otherwordly beings. I know, boring. You can still use this though! Maybe a "demon" doesn't mean a literal demon, it could be word play for troublemaker, though you can use that in itself as well

"Oh, I think the troublemaker went to sleep"

That is what the person is, maybe not literally. I mean "troublemaker" isn't a species or anything like that, but it does describe what kind of a person we are talking about.

You could also just use "guy" if you know the person you are referring to is comfortable with these kinds of terms (Personally I am, when used in a non literal manner and more of a slang)

"Oh, I think the guy went to sleep"

2. Change your wording!

It can take a bit of thinking, but practice makes the master, so don't feel discouraged if you don't pick it up immediadly.

I'll give you an example

"I asked, but he didn't seem to have any interest in joining"

"I asked, but there didn't seem to be any interest in joining"

3. Referring to a title or a position of some kind.

This should be fairly easy, but everyone makes mistakes. Just remember not to make it about yourself, just apologize (this doesn't mean write a novel about how shit you are, it means "Oh, sorry" and not quilt tripping the person to forgive you. They don't have to and you shouldn't expect them to), fix your mistake and quickly move on.

Here's the example:

"He wrote the equation on the blackboard, his hands shaking from old age I'd assume"

"The teacher wrote the equation on the blackboard, hands shaking from old age I'd assume"

As you can see I also used changing my words a little on the last part instead of saying "the teacher" again. This is to help the text flow more naturally, so don't feel restricted to only using one way in this and experiment! I'm sure these aren't the only ways, just what came to my mind at the moment.

[beeanca-writing]

Playing AAE made me realize I have na extreme bias towards apps like tales and the stories published on them so thank you for making me less of a snob. The 'speech bubble' format did take a bit to adjust to but I have to admit, it's working quite well for the story.

I'm curious, what made you choose tales as a medium? How difficult was it to convert your text based story to that format?

I love what you've done with the premium choices, having them more as a 'here's some extra info if you'd like it' than 'you want satisfying content you've got to pay us' makes me want to choose them more than strongarming me into spending more diamonds are you allowed to discuss what cut you're getting?

Edit: although AEE is no longer in Tales, I have kept this ask since it is a good explanation of why it was moved from a text-based game to a visual novel.

Thank you!

I've gotten a few other asks about this. I have to admit it must be odd to see this change happening if you don't follow my Tumblr very closely, or frequent my Discord often.

The thing is, I had realized I was dreading continuing to write WaBE. Although at first I thought it was because I had no outline (and that definitely took its toll on my writing process), once I had the outline done, there was still something bugging me. And then I realized: I am never going to finish this if I continue writing it as a text-based game.

As to why, it's tough to explain. I'm someone who follows my intuition very closely - when my body tells me I should or shouldn't do something, I take that seriously (this might sound a bit silly). It was only after a hunch that I decided to move Exiled from Court over to Twine; my body was telling me "you need to do this".

Now, returning to WaBE not working in text form - I'd already planned to change WaBE from ChoiceScript to another platform, since I no longer wanted to be associated with Choice of Games. However, WaBE has always been idealized as a shorter, lighter slice of life based on the ideal of friendship and healing. Frankly, it's a very railroad-y game: your choices do matter, and there is customization, but it’s a very self-contained story. It’s a story with a foreseen happy ending.

All this to say WaBE doesn't really fit most expectations that come with text-based IF, because, without me even realizing it, it was never meant to be text-based. It's supposed to be snappier and shorter and not have as much depth. It's supposed to be about the player's experience and headcanons as much as it is about the actual story being told. That's what it is.

After coming to that conclusion, moving to Tales was pretty easy. I submitted my story pitch without much expectation and was accepted, which was a nice surprise :-) Transforming over 10k long chapters into less than 3k long episodes was not the easiest, though! I really had to learn how to synthesize and cut out filler and fluff! I will say I do think it made the story overall stronger - you meet important characters, like Lyla and Naomi, sooner, and it doesn't take long until the whole gang is together and becoming friends. Things move much more quicker now, but I don't think it's a bad thing at all.

Oof. I rambled a bit, didn't I? My apologies! I just had a lot to say. Overall, I am very happy with how An Elemental Existence turned out. As a matter of fact, I'd say I'm prouder of it than I was of WaBE, because it's a much more concise, stronger, better developed piece of work. And I am so excited to keep writing it! I haven't felt like this about my personal writing in a while.

AEE won't be for everyone who once loved WaBe, and that's fine. But it is my vision come to life in a much truer way than I ever expected :-)

[lizacstuff]

i'd love (if you'd like ofc) to hear your thoughts on episode 20 as a whole! i personally really really enjoyed it.. it had some very good moments not only between edser but between serkan and his dad and selin. and of course were serving that angsty, but flirty, UST that we all love! it felt like a weight was lifted off serkan and he just became even more open with her, if that makes sense? what he says to her about leaving in the latest fragman kinda shows that too.

Are you sure you want my full thoughts? Because I'm about to get long winded, like novel long winded, lol. To start off, on a superficial note, can I say that casually dressed, brooding Serkan was pretty hot? Hello, Sailor! Can we see you in pullovers and hoodies and T-shirts more often? But just happier? He was soooo sad in the opening scenes, and honestly, when you think about it, it's pretty dark that he was so messed up that he didn't leave the house or attend to any business matters for those couple of days. Very unlike him, but he's probably never been at this depth of despair before. Now, since pretty much everyone knows he wasn't leaving the house while Eda was gone, I hope someone (cough Melo cough) tells Eda, she should know that. On a similar note, Eda's friendship with the girls is so lovely. They're indeed her family. Interesting juxtaposition that she took refuge with her friends, while Serkan holed up and stayed away from everyone who cares about him. 

I agree that once we got past the dark brooding and he had the talk with his mom about how if Eda was punishing him there was still hope, he was a lot lighter. I think finally being out from under the secret did him a world of good. He can finally stop pretending to be indifferent and can just be honest about how he feels.  What the “Gitme” line in the fragman tells me, is that he’s ready to put it all out there. He’s not going to risk miscommunications or hurt feelings anymore. Which is amazing and should lead to great things in the next couple of episodes.

More under the cut (a lot more):

I absolutely agree about the scenes between Serkan and his dad and Serkan and Selin. The writing was really terrific and Kerem just knocked both of those scenes out of the park. Serkan's suppressed fury was palpable, and it was extremely cathartic to finally watch him let loose on both of them. The scene with his father went deeper in the family trauma and it was so interesting to hear Serkan say outright to both of them that the reason he moved onto the property was because Aydan couldn't leave and his dad was never there, and was never there for him as a father at all. Which we saw from the beginning when Alpteken was actually at the house but refused to attend his son's engagement party. Regardless of the fact that Serkan sprung Eda on them, not walking 50 feet to make an appearance at your son's engagement party is an asshole move. I wonder how long he's been cheating on Aydan? Years? It's interesting how she foreshadowed that revelation to Ayfer, like she knew.

Also I can't believe he was just cavorting around a luxury hotel in Istanbul. The whole Bolat family are obviously figures in the upscale social scene, anyone who knew Aydan or Serkan could have easily spotted him with that woman and gleefully spread the gossip back. Did he want to get caught? Jerkoff.

As for Selin, we been waitin' for that explosion since she sold her shares without telling Serkan!  I like that Serkan was kind to her after Ferit left her at the altar, it spoke to him taking responsibility for the part he played in trying to manipulate her out of that relationship. However, she took advantage of the new, kinder Serkan (the one that exists courtesy of Eda) and went way too far into unstable territory. I, and many other people, were so confused about why Selin was so angry about uncovering the truth of the accident, like what right did she have to be that angry over it, to stomp over to his house, barge in uninvited and accuse him of being a liar at top decibel levels? Thank goodness the writing acknowledged that it was not her place, and that was the thing that enraged Serkan. They actually allowed him to say, "How dare you come to my house, and I don't owe you any explanations." Also, I'm glad he laid out his feelings for Eda, and his lack of feelings for her. Look... that is rough. Hearing from an ex that they never loved you.  But how she could have been in any doubt, after seeing the changes in him since Eda is beyond my comprehension. She even said early on, It's like there's two Serkans, the one before you met Eda, and the one after. For whatever reason it's like she thought Eda could come in and affect him, and then she could step in and get the Serkan who was in love with Eda, not the rigid, cold one who was in a relationship of convenience with her.  DELUSIONAL.

There was so much more about this episode I loved. It was nice to see Ayfer blossoming in her new business and getting a glimpse of Fifi's past. She comes from a society family, does she? I liked that Ferit helped them. I do agree that impressing Ceren was probably on his mind, but I like to think he's also just a nice man and he likes Ayfer and wanted to genuinely help as well. Interesting that we found out that Ferit's mom never liked Selin. Curious since you'd think she'd look great on paper, perhaps it was because of the speed at which they were moving, and I think she also stood them up, right? That made me like Ferit's mom a bit more than I otherwise would have. 

Aydan was in her element getting back to her charity work, I loved the way she plotted to put her name forward for the leadership position. She's just so savvy. That's why I'm glad she's now TeamEda!  Imagine what a formidable duo Eda and Adyan will make in this world, we saw a glimpse of it last week, but they'll be unstoppable! 

The contract was a neat device. I really appreciate how it was used. One of the things that Eda feels like she can't trust is the way Serkan has tried to control her. As I've said before, I think he's really trying to control the situation. And while that doesn't really make a difference to Eda in this instance, it does make a difference to me as a viewer. If he were being controlling in the sense of trying to dictate what she says or who she is, that would be upsetting. But that's not it, he really loves her for who she is already and he's not trying to change that, he's just, as I said, trying to control the situation. We know that he likes to think everything through and always has a plan and in this instance he was just trying to protect her, but she's right that he can't do that in a relationship. Proving to her that he can cede control is important and that's exactly what the contract did. We saw him do it willingly and blindly and it was actually really beautiful. Obviously, the Serkan apology to Erdem was hilarious, but more than how much I enjoyed how funny it was, I enjoyed how delighted Eda was by it. She loved every minute of it and it was so nice to see her relax a minute and genuinely laugh both at and with Serkan. Additionally, I think she was pretty surprised that he'd followed through with it. Lots of layers to that scene.  

The charity meeting he engineered was also pretty fun to watch. I loved how he calls Engin in to join them with no prep and then just expects Engin to reel off a bunch of good ideas for the girls education initiative. Good times. And Leyla rushing in to let him know that Melo had quit was hilarious, I love that Serkan was like "the whole situation is right here" meaning that Eda was in the room so whatever Leyla had to tell him could not possibly be important. Only Eda is important! LOL. Then Serkan doesn't even think before looping Engin in to go immediately hire Melo. You know what I hope this means!? That my crackship Mengin might actually sail!!!!  LET'S DO THIS MENGIN!!!!  Oh... I know, the show seems really committed to the mismatched duo of Engin/Peril, but I really think Engin and Melo are better suited to one another. And now maybe they'll get scenes together. Piril can dump him for being too... him, and Melo can help him pick up the pieces. They would be Serkan and Eda's big-hearted, teddybear couple friends!  

Watching Eda blossom creatively and professionally while working with Serkan has been a joy. She doesn't stand in awe of him at all as a person, but she does a little professionally, and it's wonderful to see how no matter how angry she is with him or where they are in their relationship she always craves his feedback, takes in his critiques and suggestions, and basks in his praise. While she didn't want his help with her schoolwork, I can't help but wonder if he ever comes up at school. I mean she's in the tabloids with him, and since he's extremely relevant to the field of study, and specifically to that school since he built the library, do her classmates ask her about him? Or does she mention something she did or learned working at ArtLife while in class? Inquiring minds want to know.

As for Eda's resolve to keep things professional, that pretty much was DOA. She definitely challenged him to break the contract there in that room, and I think she actually wanted him to do it, though I’m not sure how she would have reacted. she wants him, but she wasn’t there yet. She knows resistance is futile, deep down she recognizes her own feelings and his and knows they'll never stay away from one another and it's only a matter-of-time, but I think she needs this. She needs for him to understand what it means to be in a relationship, she needs him to know that he can't make decisions without her, and she needs to be sure he's ready to be a partner. Thankfully, he made a lot of headway in demonstrating all of those things in this episode. He signed without reading, he was willing to do anything and everything she asked, and while he's still him (asking Leyla for intel) he respected her wishes while still being there for her in a real way throughout the episode.  

Poor Eda fainting, but it's really romantic that he's always there to catch her. I assume this narcolepsy or whatever it is, like her claustrophobia, is related to the trauma around the retaining wall collapse and her parents' death. It was sweet the way he convinced her to let him be there when she met the contractor, and then during the confrontation he didn't intervene, he let Eda say what she needed to say and was there to move the guy along when it was time. He was pretty much perfect. I know we all NEEDED him to hug her, both Eda and Serkan NEEDED it as well, but she wasn't ready to ask for him yet and he was smart enough not to push it. But the loooooooooonging. 

It's a small detail that she asked him to deal with the paps and he went home and set about doing just that. Hopefully whatever he was doing will lead to the revelation that Selin is the one who planted the story in the first place. I need that, we all need that. And just when you think it's too late at night, he does their "thing" and shows up at her place with Sirius. So dang sweet. I like that he was respecting her pretense about colleagues while at the same time just outright saying, "I'm worried about you. Are you okay?"

The next day's car ride left me in a puddle. Serkan just out there telling her that he would do anything for her. But he didn't push it on her, he waited until she asked. He did a great job of pacing himself through the episode. I find it so romantic that she told him that he couldn't watch her speech. If they were together and settled and happy, I'd think she'd want him front row, center, but in their current state he just affects her too much. She'd be focused on him, worried about what he thought, distracted by him, he just sends her mind whiring and her pulse racing.

Though, it's pretty telling and super sweet that the first thing she wants to know when he approaches her afterward is what he thought of the speech. Oh, Eda, you're not fooling anyone. His opinion is most important to you, pretty much in all things. This scene gives us something that rarely happens, Engin being tone deaf and not reading the room!! WTF was wrong with him? Interrupting like that? Dude knows that Serkan is in a situation here, you don't interrupt for really no reason like that! Get your head in the game, son! Your his wingman, you help, not hinder!

The way Eda blushed and looked pleased every time he complimented her this episode was something else. She's trying to keep emotional distance, and he's breaking the rules when he does it, but still it makes her day. She's never portrayed as a vain character, at all, so it's just so sweet how his words and his compliments affect her. No one else can make her feel like that. 

Serkan was pretty sly in making his case as well. He gets her a bit mushy telling her she lights up the room and then brings up her speech and how it might apply to him. He was right in that she probably hasn't considered things from his perspective. How devastating it must have been for him to learn the truth. I want her to go back and piece together the timeline. She knew something wasn't right with him at the mall when she gave him the robot. Maybe it will help her deal with this if she realizes he had just learned the secret. She knew there was more to the story with the cut on his hand. Knowing he was so upset he put his hand through a coffee table might give her some perspective on his state of mind and why he acted the way he did.  But mostly I want him to tell her he overheard her conversation with Ceren. I think it's important for them both to confront how things unraveled if only to help prevent future miscommunications. 

Poor Eda having a good time using her powers of persuasion to tease Serkan into helping his mother only to find out that she had convinced him to auction himself off for a dinner date! I enjoyed her momentary discomfort at that. Welcome back, jealousy. Strictly work colleagues do not get jealous when one goes out to dinner with someone else, just saying, Eda.  And that smooth bastard bid on himself so he could go out with her only. We should have known! 

The conversation prior to the runway show was priceless, Eda's animosity and reserve sort of disappear and she's just unsure enough of what she's about to do that his reassurances are exactly what she needs.  And how Kerem Bursin can blush on demand, I don't know, but Serkan be red during that conversation, lol. 

I really loved all of Serkan's reactions as the ladies walked the runway. For Selin he was stone-faced and bored looking, for Fifi he gave a sly smirk as she passed as an acknowledgement of how different, and nice, she looked all cleaned up, Melo got the huge grin, we didn't really see Ceren since the camera was stuck on Ferit, but for Piril he gave her the fond, encouraging smile like he was proud of his friend. And then Eda. I don't even know what word to use for it. Enraptured? Dumsquizzled? Fuckstruck? Yes, let's go with fuckstruck. I'm not sure he remembered to breathe while she was walking, he was so affected by her.  This boy has it bad for this girl, ya'll. 

After that, the end was a punch in the gut. Our poor babies have been through so much, they really deserved to have that nice dinner.  Damn you, Selin! Obviously this was a delaying tactic, because once they sat down to dinner, you know they would have worked it out, so we wait. But the reconciliation is coming, don't you worry. I'm feeling it within the next 2 episodes for sure.