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jawritter · 1 year

Text

Carry On

Chapter 20

Summary: It was just a simple hunt, found on a pie festival. It was supposed to be easy. Something they’d all done one hundred and one times a million. No one could have told Y/N, Dean, and Sam that nothing from that point on would ever be the same again.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader x Sam Winchester

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Angst

Due to the graphic nature of this fic, and the fact that it will eventually contain Smut. This fic is an 18 + only fic! If you’re under 18 DO NOT read this fic!

A/N: This fic is beta’d by @kazsrm67 Thanks so much love! Please do not copy my work! Feedback is golden! I hope you all enjoy this ride with me!

My Mastlist Series Masterlist

Three Weeks Later:

“Well, how soon can you get it here?” Dean’s voice echoed through the shop office that he’d been working diligently at setting up since about a week after they’d moved into Dean’s home. Y/N had stuck close to him through the whole process of getting the shop in order, and ready for business; mostly because she was afraid, he’d overdo it again like he’d done when they’ve moved a few weeks back, but he seemed to be more aware of when it was time to stop.

Right now, he was on the phone with someone that was supposed to be delivering some sort of lift machine that was to lift the car in the air so that oil could be changed. He’d called the name of the machine over a thousand times in the last week, but honestly, she couldn’t remember what it was called.

It had been a bitch to get this thing delivered too. Probably the most aggravating thing they’d done this far. They kept changing the delivery and setup date. The thing is, that's what the holdup WAS this machine; it was the last piece they needed before they could open for business. He’d even hired three guys to work in the shop, so all he had to do was light work and supervise.

“Fine, fine,” Dean growled into the phone’s receiver. “But if it’s not delivered and set up by the end of the business day tomorrow, your boss is gonna hear from me, and I will be getting a refund, and I will be using another company altogether. You guys are taking way too long, and you’re holding up my business. I’ve already had three people come in today wanting work done, and I just can’t do it efficiently without this equipment.”

Y/N hadn’t seen this side of Dean since he was hunting. He was so calculated, and focused. He finally found something to focus on that he liked, and she was grateful to see it. He needed this. He needed to get up and get his life back and not just wallow in what happened to him. Which can be very easy to do when someone goes through something as dramatic as Dean did.

Dean hung up the phone and tossed it down on his desk, mumbling something about ‘incompetent moron’, and Y/N tried not to smirk as he did so. It was such a ‘Dean’ move that it was comical.

“They will get it here Dean, just be patient,” Y/N said as she watched him pinch the bridge of his nose in an attempt to force his blood pressure down to a normal level again.

“I know, I know, I just want to strangle the mother fucker.”

Y/N snorted and shook her head just as Jacob, one of the young men Dean had hired to work in the shop, knocked on the open office door.

“We’re done with that tire rotation boss,” he said, and Dean nodded at him with a heavy sigh.

Jacob was young, only 19 years old, but he kinda reminded Y/N of a young Dean Winchester. Honestly, he even kinda looked like him, or at least what Y/N would have imagined Dean looked like as a teenager, she had never seen an actual picture of him when he was that young; it wasn’t like John’s top priority was taking family photos after all.

“You guys go ahead and take off for the rest of the day,” Dean instructed him, glancing at the clock over the door frame Jacob was standing in like a puppy, waiting for someone to toss him a ball. “It’s already after five, and we really don’t need to do anything else today. They’re not gonna bring the equipment I ordered until tomorrow, so there’s no need to hang around here and wait on it.”

“Okay,” Jacob chirped, “I’ll tell the other guys, see you all tomorrow!”

Jacob waved as he scurried back towards the inner parts of the shop to tell everyone else they could leave, and Dean watched him go at a jogging pace with a thin lined mouth. That’s when Y/N knew Dean was starting to get in his head. She could always tell;he would just get this look. That’s when she knew she needed to distract him.

“You know, it’s probably not a bad idea for us to head home too,” Y/N tried, “not like we can do much else here tonight that wont wait until tomorrow. Let’s go home and get something to eat.”

Dean didn’t move, he just continued to stare blankly out of the door that Jacob had just left from, rubbing the light beard on his chin with his palm, his mind a thousand miles away from where he was sitting.

So, she did something she’d not done before with Dean, but it felt like an impulsive moment that needed to be taken. It was sure to distract him one way or another, she just hoped against hope that it wouldn’t backfire on her, but rather serve to get him out of his t treacherous thoughts.

She stood from her seat across the room, and slowly walked over towards him. She then sat herself down on his lap, careful not to put too much weight and pressure on his back which was being supported by the chair he was sitting in, and wrapped her arms around her neck. To her surprise, Dean’s arms immediately circled around her, and he pulled her into him even deeper, deeper than she would have been afraid to lay against him out of fear of hurting him, but he didn’t seem to be all that much bothered by her weight against his solid chest. Instead, he seemed to rather enjoy the closeness. Which surprised her all together because she figured he would have just pulled away from her.

“You’ve got to stop doing that you know,” she said after a long moment, and Dean sighed heavily.

“Doing what?”

“Getting all in your head like that. Letting thoughts take harbor where they shouldn’t. It’s not going to do you any favors whatsoever. It’s just gonna open the door for shit like worsened anxiety and depression.”

Dean hid his face in her hair, inhaling deeply as he tried to settle himself.

“Am I that obvious?” he questioned, and Y/N chuckled to herself.

“Just a little bit Winchester. You’re like… the king of self-loathing.”

“I resent that,” Dean laughed, “I mean, it’s true, but I’m still gonna resent it.”

Neither of them moved because neither of them wanted to honestly. She’d be a liar if she said that having him this close to her with his arms wrapped around her didn’t affect her. She’d be an absolute lying hypocrite to say that she didn’t crave him close to her the way he craved her. The affection aspect is something that had always been missing from their relationship, not without good reason, but she still missed it. Here, she felt safe, like for once everything was gonna be okay, and all the hell they had been through at least might have a light at the end of a very long, dark, treacherous tunnel.

True to her own luck though, she didn’t get to enjoy it long at all; because no sooner had she let herself relax enough to enjoy being this close to Dean, a knock sounded once again from the door, and she nearly jumped off of him, but he held her there, refusing to let her go completely.

“What Jacob?” Dean asked, without even looking up.

“Cathy just called your neighbor, she said she tried to call your cell, but you must have been on the phone and didn’t answer. She said there’s a new looking Dodge Charger parked out in front of your house, been there for a while, a man and a woman are just sitting there like they’re waiting on you or something.”

Dean did sit up there; his whole body became tense and rigid as he did.

She should have known that her happy little bubble would get popped by some anxiety-inducing drama appearing out of nowhere; just waiting for the most opportune moment to strike.

“Okay,” Dean said, his voice calm despite the stiffness of his body. “Tell her we’re about to head that way.”

Jacob nodded, and made his way back out of the shop, letting the door close with a loud, metal bang as he retreated back out to his car; eager to get off work, surely to go see that little blonde he’d been seeing for the past few days. She wished Dean’s relationship with herself was so simple, but it never would be.

Still, her mind was thinking the worst. Surely their past had come back to haunt them; they could no longer run from their demons that they thought had been extinguished with Chuck’s defeat. They must have been fools to think they could carry on a normal life after the life they’d led; they couldn’t just leave it all behind.

Dean’s hand came up to the side of her face, and had she not been careful, she probably would have screamed out of the sheer surprise of it.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Dean said, “calm down sweetheart, you’re gonna hyperventilate.”

She hadn’t even realized that her breathing was erratic, but Dean had, he’d seen it right off, concern etched deep in his handsome features as he searched her. Guess she had some scars of her own she needed to deal with after all. She’d been so focused on Dean’s recovery, she’d neglected her own inner demons.

“Maybe we shouldn’t go home Dean, what if it’s literally Demons or some other shit that has found us here?” Y/N hissed, afraid that Jacob or some of the other guys were still hanging around the shop.

Dean shook his head, running his thumb along her cheekbone, his pale green gaze softening even more.

“It’s not a monster sweetheart, It’s just my brother. That life can’t touch us anymore, okay?”

Y/N, sat there, stunned for a moment, she had so many questions, and fears.

“And no,” Dean cut her before she could even open her mouth to ask the obvious question. “I talked to Jack while I was in the hospital; he came to see me, asked me if I wanted more time, or if I was ready to get to the ‘there’ll be peace when you’re done… part of the song’, and I told him I wanted to stay. He promised to keep it all away from us, a gift, even though he said he wouldn’t intervene.”

“Dean… Why didn’t you tell me?” Y/N questioned, in a state of pure shock and disbelief.

“Well,” Dean continued, his gaze faltering as if he was afraid he’d messed up by divulging that little bit of information he’d been hanging onto. “Jack said I’d live, but he didn’t tell me what shape I’d be in when I did. He just said I’d live. I didn’t want to tether you to me if I was going to be horribly crippled. I’m sorry, I should have told you.”

Y/N just shook her head and buried her face in his throat, relieved, but exhausted from her mild panic attack earlier. She’d be mad at him later for not telling her sooner. Right now, she was just grateful that he was still here with her arms around him, and that Jack saw that Dean deserved this just as much as she did.

“But… how do you know for sure it’s Sam?” she questioned as the pair stood to make their way to where Baby was parked out back of the shop; closer to his office than the front doors were.

“Because, I’ve seen Sam drive stuff like that before, trust me it’s his style. The boy never did know how to appreciate the classics,” Dean revealed with an annoyed tone.

That’s when a new set of anxiety hit her all together. If Sam had come here to pick a fight with his brother for starting his life over in Lawrence; well that was something she wouldn’t stand for. Dean deserved this chance, even Jack saw that; and she wouldn’t sit idly by and let Sam ruin it. She refused to.

Forever:

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kira-fluff · 3 years

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Hey heyy, have you thought about writing another common trope headcanon / oneshot with the MysMe guys?

Because the “only one bed” was extremely good!!

Even if you decide not to do it, just know that your blog and your talent amazes me<3

a/n: Did you even have to ask??? OF COURSE IF YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME LOL thank you gorgeous <3 I decided to try putting it in a fanfic (one shot unless requested) format since it's definitely quite long and making a mini-series featuring those you request for me to include in my next fic or a pt2! :) also this is a slow burn and is quite spicy <3 Also, I did my best not to make it like the whole share the room thingy again!! ***I’m not fluent in French pls don’t @ me

Length: 6k lol

A Series of Unfortunate Events Fake Dating - Jumin Han

A sudden message beep surprised you, causing you to look down at your phone. It was a text message from Jumin: Call me. Immediately suspecting the worst, you quickly pressed his contact, the number dialing in seconds. There was a few seconds that ran by before the other end answered with a curt, "Y/n." "Jumin, hey, is something wrong?", you asked, worriedly. "Everything is perfectly fine. I was calling to ask you a favor -- feel free to decline." Jumin never asked for favors, or your help in general.. you knew whatever it was you were determined to assist him in the best way possible. "Of course, Jumin! Anything." There was silence for a moment as if he was contemplating whether or not it this favor was truly worth asking before he spoke, "Please decline if you are unable to but... I was wondering if you'd be willing to indulge my father. He's insisted that I bring you with me to our business closure." "Jumin", you began, "I'd be honored. I'd love to!" On the other line, there was a sigh of relief (or of worry, you weren't sure). "Mr. Kim will be at your apartment to pick you up tomorrow. The meeting is taking place in Monoco -- pack for a ten-day trip" There was a pause before Jumin breathed out a quiet, "Thank you." You couldn't hold back your smile, thankful that the conversation was over the phone, making it impossible for him to see your dopey expression. He hung up, leaving you to pack. Your mind quickly wandered from what you needed in your suitcase to worrisome waters. You and Jumin had a very deep friendship following the party you’d thrown, spending the time following the ginormous celebration to get to know each other. It warmed your heart that your newfound friend took so much joy in being with you -- even when he tried not to show it. You lost track of the number of times you ended up sleeping over at his penthouse after accidentally staying up until 4am talking with him, swishing expensive wine in your mouths. You didn’t expect falling in love to come so easily. You were someone who was quite choosey with your partners -- you weren’t one to fall easily for anyone. Even in your past relationships that sometimes lasted years, you’d never felt the way your heart felt now that you were with him. And yet, you were best friends. You were sure you meant something to him in so far as friendship, but you had respected him when he’d gotten drunk one of the first nights he met you and spouted out his heart to you..

- “Y/n, to tell you the truth.... I’ve never fallen in love before.” He gazed up at you lackadaisically from his position on the sofa -- head rested over the top of the sofa cushion, his arm lazily resting under his chin. He started at you for a moment, his gray eyes gazing into your own with a hazy, absent feeling in them. You laughed, “I find that hard to believe.” You walked over to him, absent-mindedly running your fingers through his tousled hair. He let out a long, uncharacteristic sigh, his eyes closing gently. You leaned in close to him, looking him in the eye. “Can I tell you something, too?” He nodded. “I haven’t either.” - You grinned at the memory. You firmly believed that conversation was what brought you and him together closer than ever before. He’d always found an excuse to call you over for the silliest of reasons. Either he needed a certain form that he was positive he accidentally slipped into your bag on accident and needed to see it first-hand to check, or he realized he’d bought more wine than was necessary for a night alone. It made you smile for months that he couldn’t get out the words “I miss you” or “I want you to come over”. Even to you, the words sounded intimate.. but that was the way your relationship worked -- you were very close with each other, as two best friends ought to be. Still, as much as you tried, you couldn’t control the way your heart began to constrict when he got especially close to you. You couldn’t help it when you’d shiver when he gently brushed cat fur away from your cheek. You were shocked that despite his perceptive personality, he didn’t seem to notice or acknowledge your deep blush during these interactions... maybe he was uncomfortable with them.... you hoped not. There were times the air was knocked out of you. Literally. Once, you weren’t paying attention to the fact that the sidewalk had ended and you were walking straight into oncoming cars coming off the highway when a muscular arm slid around your waist and pressed your body flush to his own. You stared with eyes wide open at Jumin, who comically seemed equally surprised at his actions. You couldn’t help the way your eyes trickled down to his sultry lips, taking in their beautiful red-wine color, blooming like dark roses. Thankfully, he seemed too preoccupied with your current state of mind and physical wellbeing. When you finally managed to get your mind out of the gutter, you thanked him profusely, grabbing his hands impulsively and begging to reward him in some way. His answer surprised you, “I--uh-- a movie. I’d like to do more research watching one of those movies you enjoy watching.. for business sales and such.” “Sure!! I can recommend anything! I’ll drop the email by your office tomorrow” you answered. A panicked expression took over his face for a moment before returning to its familiar stoicism, “You won’t watch it also?” Your eyes widened in confusion before you answered hurriedly, “Oh! Yeah, I’ll watch it with you. I just wouldn’t want to bother you if you were doing it for work purposes.” You could never bother me you thought you heard him say, but you couldn’t be sure. Yep, you were in love with Jumin. When you at last finished packing, you went to bed, looking forward to the mystery that befell tomorrow. - You rose bright and early to prepare for the exciting trip that was bound to come. You couldn’t help the extra bit of effort you ended up putting into your appearance in anticipation of seeing Jumin again and.. possibly sitting next to him on an aircraft. Right on time, you received a text message from Mr. Kim, indicating that he had arrived at your apartment right on time. As you opened your apartment door to carry your luggage downstairs, you were met with numerous familiar faces of Jumin’s employees who quickly took your heavy luggage items for you. You thanked them, making your way to the elevator with them. You texted Jumin: Thanks for the help with my luggage :) In a matter of seconds, you received a reply, Jumin: You’re welcome. Grinning down at your phone, you didn’t notice your driver's light chuckle, a look of astonishment in his eyes. These blind kids. You continued to chatter along with Jumin on your phone, at last arriving at the rendezvous point where Jumin and the Chairman pulled in identical black limos alongside your own. “Thank you, Mr. Kim. I can take it from here.” Mr. Kim nodded in obedience, ushering you to go to Jumin. Jumin patted the leather seat next to his own in the sleek limousine. You held back a laugh, there were plenty of other seats open for you to sit.. but it warmed your heart that he wanted you right next to him. As friends. The Chairman joined the two of you, sitting across from his son, a mischievous glint in his eyes that only Jumin could recognize. A silent conversation took place between Jumin and his father -- Jumin beginning with a raised eyebrow. The Chairman replied with a sly smirk. Jumin with a scowl, his father with a growing grin. You watched the conversation continue silently before the Chairman at last spoke, “Jumin, my son, I’m overjoyed to see you’ve brought your Y/n with you.” A flash of annoyance crossed Jumin’s face as he said, “My... Y/n?” You blanched.. of course the thought of you being his made him uncomfortable... but you didn’t think he’d be angry. “Y/n, I’m glad you could join us. However, as much as I hate to ask this of you, there is something I desperately need from you.” Before you could speak Jumin interjected, “Absolutely not.” You caressed his hand, looking up at him with kind eyes, “Jumin, hey, it’s okay.” Looking toward Jumin’s father you said, “Whatever it is, I’ll do my very best.” Jumin’s jaw feathered a bit, but he said no more. He grinned, “Aren’t you a kind girl. Well, in this business deal, the contract was originally contingent on Jumin marrying his daughter -- which I was against from the beginning. After all, I know the importance of loving the one you wish to be with.” (Jumin rolled his eyes at that.) “Anyway, I declined the offer.” You were confused, unsure where your part came in. As if reading your mind, he continued saying, “However, I perhaps let it slip that you two were engaged. I figured you both are so close with each other already, that it would be no issue to play a bit of husband and wife for the sake of business, no?” Jumin was furious, his nose flared, jaw clenched with hands gripping his knee. “How dare--” You glanced at him, biting the inside of your cheek, a worried expression painted your face. When he glanced at you, his eyes widened and his shoulders relaxed. This did not go unnoticed by the Chairman. “We’ll do it, won’t we Jumin?” he looked surprised but made no objection. You leaned in close and whispered shyly, “I want to do something as thanks for this amazing trip.. and for you.” - Jumin dared to swallow. For me? What the hell does that mean? You were driving him crazy. Every time he looked at you he had to fight to readjust his attention to something else. Does she know what it does to me when she touches me? Even a little bit? When you’d put your hand on him, Jumin felt his chest and neck grow impossibly hotter, hotter than he’d been feeling when you’d first sat down next to him. Hotter than when you leaned in close and breathily asked him, “Jumin... how long until we’re at the airport?” It was like you’d drawn out every syllable, breathing out every consonant -- your breath tickling his neck. He imagined what it would feel like to have your plump, rosy lips on his neck, on his chest, on his lips, on his-- he was in over his head. He cursed himself for his lack of control. Usually, control was not an issue for Jumin -- in fact, he considered it one of his greatest strengths. From his leadership position in his father’s company, C&R, to his well-controlled temperament and stress management.. Jumin just didn’t do “no control”. At first, it intrigued him. He could remember the exact day it hit him. He’d invited you to an elegant dinner his company hosted to celebrate (in a sort of “humble-brag” sort of way) yet another successful business closing with one of the biggest corporations in America. He’d been finishing off yet another glass of his new Domaine de la Romanee-Conti he’d bought when his eyes at last placed you at the front of the champagne server. His eyes raked up and down the soft, silk gown that clung to your body in all the right places. The gown hung loosely, exposing your back and most of your chest, a sultry slit separating one of your elegant legs from the other hidden in the fabric. It was a breath-taking emerald color... but all Jumin could really think of is how he’d take it off. Your hair was curled and done-up marvelously with little white pearls decorating the crown of your head like you had stars in your hair... but all Jumin could really think of was how he’d mess it up. His cheeks were on fire. Everything in his body had risen in temperature of what felt like a hundred degrees. He twirled his wine glass between his fingers before setting it down at one of the well-decorated tables. I must have a fever, he thought, that must be it. Your eyes found his person just as he was turning around to leave, speed walking to one of the penthouse balconies for fresh air. You raced after him or at least followed him as fast as your obnoxious heels allowed you to go. You breathlessly met him as he was staring out into the night. Jumin realized that his temperature was slowly returning to normal. Perhaps the room was a bit suffocating. I’ll be sure to message Mr. Kim about increasing the air conditioning in the room. But... looking back on it now, Jumin knew he was lying to himself even then. Because, when he turned around he almost let out a shout. And his breath became uneven again, and it felt so burning hot all over again. You slowly crept toward him, donning a concerned expression saying, “Jumin... are you alright?” Jumin backed into the marble railing. He was so eloquent normally but all he could let out then was a choked, “Fine.” He couldn’t take his eyes off you. Every step closer, he wanted to run. The stars were reflecting in your eyes and the moonlight made your supple skin look impossibly softer... You gently cupped his face and whispered, “Jumin, talk to me..? Please?” Jumin was heaving, looking down at you with rosy red cheeks and burning ears. “I--I think I have a... fever. A fever.” You gasped, taking one of your hands and lightly grasping the back of his neck, pulling him down slightly. His eyes widened as you took your other cold hand and placed it on his burning forehead. “Oh my god! Oh my gosh, we -- ambulance! An ambulance.. a doctor? Or.. are you... drunk?” “My room... please,” he begged. You looked him up and down, examining his face for strain or discomfort. When you couldn’t find any, you let out a breath -- perhaps you’d overreacted. Nonetheless, you swung his arm over your shoulder and trudged through the now quiet dining area. Most had filtered out to the ballroom for dancing. You’d been here a million times, so remembering the way was no chore. You fished through his shirt and coat pockets, running your gentle digits across his chest, assuming the moan Jumin gave off was due to pain, still, a blush flushed your cheeks. “Sorry, I’m almost done.” You held him against the wall since at this point he couldn’t stand. Maybe I am a little drunk, he thought. You moved down to his pants pockets, your hands roaming through a business card and other odds and ends, eliciting another soft groan from Jumin. “Almost there...” you breathed, at last pulling out a key card and with a soft beep, opening his penthouse suite. You gently carried him to his bed before going to grab a glass of water and a cold washcloth. When one was placed on the table and the other on his forehead, you at last placed a warm throw blanket you’d found in his closet over him. ...That memory became a source of numerous dreams. Jumin couldn’t forget it, no matter how many times he’d wished he wanted to (or wished it all to happen again). - You gazed at him, looking at the way his expression hardened at times, softening and then suddenly switching to an expression you’d never seen before. What was he thinking about? You bit your lip, nervous that Jumin might change his mind upon meeting this woman his business partner wanted him to marry. She was certainly more beautiful, right? After all, Jumin hadn’t necessarily made any physical contact voluntarily toward you more than an occasional back rub in your asked after a long day at work, or if he got drunk while you two accidentally stayed up late -- then he’d sometimes caress your face with a love-sick expression and saying little things like, “You’re beautiful.” It was cute, for sure, but what drunk doesn’t turn into a soft puddle of goo, complimenting everyone around them? You leaned into him as subtly as you could manage, closing your eyes to concentrate for a few minutes. - You jumped awake when a deep voice rumbled in your ear, “We’re here.” You could hear the slight smirk in his voice, and sure enough, when you looked up, you saw a slight smile on his face. “Did you have a good dream?” You looked toward your left, thankful the Chairman was already out of the limousine and speaking on his phone to someone. “I--I had a dream?” Jumin’s smirk stretched a little wider, “Yes. You said my name a couple times.” Your eyes widened in shock before saying, “Oh! That dream! Yeah, I was dreaming that you were being eaten alive by bears and I was forced to watch!” God, you were such a bad liar. Jumin blinked. He felt sort of stupid. “Oh,” he cleared his throat awkwardly, “I see--” Grateful for his gullibleness, you added, “Why, what did you think I was dreaming about?” Jumin avoided eye contact saying, “Not anything in particular.” A call for Jumin interrupted your conversation, making Jumin almost run out of the limo. You smiled a bit, a little flush rising up to your ears. Jumin returned again, grabbing your hand. “This way,” was all he said. You followed him to the private jet that the Chairman was already boarding. You caught yourself staring at Jumin again as you followed him up the stairs to the entranceway of the cabin. Jumin smartly chose a seat far away from his father’s field of vision. He’d had enough of his unnerving looks when you’d fallen asleep on his shoulder, whispering things Jumin was beyond grateful only he could hear... at least he hoped. When you occasionally began to whine a bit louder he’d quiet you down by running his hands through your hair and stealing glances toward his father nervously saying, “A nightmare.” He wondered if he’d fooled his father, because the Chairman lightly chuckled and made his way to the passenger seat of the limo, sliding the privacy door shut. It had only gotten worse from there, you almost shouted his name, but he covered your mouth. Heat had been pooling in his stomach for a while now, but he didn’t know how much more he could take. Still, every time he thought of waking you up, you’d grab at his chest or legs, effectively completely embolizing him. You, of course, were unaware of all of this. You sat down next to him eagerly and wrapped your arm around his, pulling him close to watch a movie on the jet screens. It was almost 9pm by now, the night sky beginning to close in on the quiet aircraft. Neither of you could remember when you fell asleep, only waking up to the soft announcement of arrival from the pilot on the overhead and a soft blanket placed over the two of you. You both groggily made your way to your waiting limousine to take you to the complimentary hotel stay at one of the chains owned by your expectant future business partner. “Of course, I know you two are just friends.” The Chairman looked at you two before continuing, “So I have two hotel rooms, you’re 17 and you, Miss Y/N, are 18. I’m in master suite 3, so feel free to reach out whenever.” His eyes glittered as he said, “Have fun. Remember to act like a loving fiance! Especially you, my son." Jumin pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head in contempt. You turned your head toward Jumin, “Um, well, I’m pretty tired as you could probably already tell,” you laughed uncomfortably, “so I think I’ll head off to bed.” Jumin blinked a few times before saying, “I will as well. Goodnight, Y/N.” You whispered a shy goodnight in reply before slinking into your hotel room. - You awoke the next day to a call from a maid outside your door - room service. You thanked her before diving into your waffles, complete with chocolate dressing, whipped cream, strawberries, and powdered sugar. A glass of orange juice was delivered along with various other breakfast options and a bowl of kiwi, dragonfruit, apple, watermelon, honeydew, and almost any other fruit you could think of. Following your delicious breakfast, you padded over to the bathroom, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes and running the shower. Going through your morning routine helped calm you despite the role you weren’t at all prepared to play in just a few hours. You jumped at the knock at your door. Looking through the peephole, it was Jumin. Flinging the door open, you looked at him expectantly. You were met with silence other than a few “uh.... uh....”s. You looked at him sarcastically, “What?” He continued to stare, not at your face, however. You laughed but quickly grew silent as you met his gaze. You were an actual moron. What. The. Fuck. You were still in your fucking panties?!?! You slammed the door shut, running to slip on some shorts you found lying on the ground in the bathroom. Taking a deep breath you gently opened the door this time. Jumin was standing still as a statue when he snapped out of his trance at last. He looked away, “Try not to be dressed. I mean STRESSED.” he sputtered, “I-I’m going to leave now--” “Um, Jumin?” He slowly turned around, face as red as a strawberry, “Yes?” “Um, sorry. About before. Um. Do you-- do you want to get some coffee? I’m still waking up, if you couldn’t already tell,” you laughed nervously. He smiled warmly, “I’d love to.” You awkwardly nodded before shutting your door. You ran to your hotel bed and screamed into one of the pillows. You cursed under your breath before making your way to the bathroom once more to finish the makeup look you had begun before being interrupted. After 45 minutes, you looked your outfit up and down. You packed outfits that were elegant -- you bought clothes that looked expensive but in the kind of way that was subtle. Nude tones and deep colors, specifically. You were aiming for a look that said, “I’m not rich, I’m just comfortable. And by that I mean I’m rich.” You were never insecure about the difference in your and Jumin’s paycheck.. but when you’re supposed to play a part. And if you showed up in your comfy joggers and t-shirt like you normally wore when you visited Jumin or were free from work.. you had a feeling their reaction wouldn’t be the most inviting or understanding. At last, you stepped out of your room, turning left to knock on Jumin’s door. He beat you to it, opening his door unexpectedly. This caused you to instead lean forward from your momentum and place your hand on his chest. You hurriedly adjusted his tie, doing your best to act as if that’s what you’d meant to do all along. Jumin appeared to be just as surprised, but grinned, “No leggings and t-shirt today?” You jabbed him with your elbow as you made your way to the coffee bar, “Do you think they’d be all welcoming to your soon-to-be wife if she showed up in lounge clothes?” “I’ve never complained.” You scoffed, “Yeah, well, that’s because you’re nice. And, you apparently understand that not everyone can live in a suit every day.” He paused for a moment before mumbling slightly, “Who cares what they think anyway.” “I do! I don’t want to let your dad down. I told him I’d do this. We’re in Monaco, Jumin! C’est la vie!” “Parles-tu français?”* “Oui..?” Jumin chuckled darkly before leaning in, saying, “Tu es juste trop mignonne.”** You blinked before replying, “...oui...?” Jumin looked at you incredulously with a slight smile on his face as he laughed, lightly ruffling your hair. Jumin ordered for you -- apparently, it was quite clear you only knew a few words in French. Unfortunately, he also paid for you, despite your objections. Before you could yank his platinum card out of his hands, the transaction was already complete. He gazed down at you, an eyebrow raised with a triumphant smirk, “Elle aura aussi beaucoup de crème dans son café.”*** “Hey, what are you saying?! Jumin!! Speak Korean or English or Japanese! Something I can understand!!” You complained. The worker interjected, “C’est tellement agréable de voir un couple sur leur ‘oneymoon.”**** You instinctively interjected, “Oh, that’s not--!” But Jumin just smiled and nodded. Upon sitting down at one of the many open tables, you let out a little giggle, “I wonder what it’ll feel like when I’m on the real thing.” Jumin quickly looked up from his staring contest with his coffee, “Real.. what?” You grinned dreamily, “Honeymoon.” “You.. want to get married?” “Don’t you?” Only to you, he thought. “Maybe. If the right person came along.” If you’d ever say “yes”. You held back the nervous twinge you felt in your throat, “Alright then, don’t be shy. What’s your type?” “My.. type?” “Yeah! Like, your ideal girl.” He paused, looking pensively at you. “Well, then I suppose my ‘type’ is a girl who is beautiful, and smart, and pretty... and always makes me laugh. And is bold but also shy.” His eyes widened as he grew quiet, “...something like that.” You were shocked. He said he’s never fallen in love before.. but it sounds like he already has some girl in mind. “Wow. You’ve... thought a lot about this.” Jumin looked surprised at himself -- he cleared his throat, “Just some ideas.” You were still skeptical but changed the subject, “So, what exactly does this whole ‘wifey’ thing entail?” “Most likely just a ring on your finger and a fake smile.” “Oh come on, there’s more to it than that.” “I’m sure my father has the details.” As if on cue, his phone chimed. “Ready to head out?” “Yep!” You weren’t entirely sure, but you were beside yourself with nervousness and a bit of excitement. If you can’t have the real thing, you shouldn’t complain about a chance to fake it, right? And sure, you knew it was much more complicated than that -- what if he realized your true feelings?! ...You shook the thoughts out of your head and made your way to the waiting vehicle outside of the hotel. - “Monsieur Lorenzi! Good to see you!” The Chairman shook hands with who you assumed was the boss. “Let me introduce to you my son, Jumin, and his beloved fiance, Y/n.” You waved, smiling despite the twang in your heart. You and Jumin shook hands while Mr. Lorenzi introduced you to his daughter. “It is so nice to meet you! This is my daughter, Ginevra.” Immediately, you sized Ginevra up -- and she does not look happy. “So.. you’re the bitch who stole Ju-Ju from me?” “Ginevra! Be polite, please?” Mr. Lorenzi practically begged her, but she wasn’t budging, “Oh, come on. Their ‘engagement’ hasn’t even been released to the press yet!” You looked worriedly between Jumin and Ginevra, but Jumin lovingly put his hand over yours, a soft smile on his face, “I’ll handle this, sweetheart.” He couldn’t help himself and lightly pecked your cheek, smirking into the kiss when he heard you elicit a small “oh!” Facing the irate woman, though, Jumin smiled in a way you’d seen him smile when he wasn’t particularly...happy.. about something. “Miss Ginevra, I can assure you Y/N and I are completely in love. She is my fiance, after all. That being said, we decided not to alert the media because we wanted our own privacy until the wedding.” Ginevra scoffed, “Please. You barely even look like you’re dating. Face it, I know you want me, Jumin.” She bit her lip in a way that was supposed to be seductive, but Jumin couldn’t hold back the slight cringe that crept onto his face. “T-that’s enough Ginev--” “God! Shut up, Dad! Mr. Lorenzi backed down at that, looking apologetic and embarrassed toward the Chairman and Jumin, and especially toward you. You were growing tired of the entire conversation, “Shall we sit down?” All except Ginevra agreed readily, the Chairman coughing in a way that sounded more like a laugh he was trying to conceal. Jumin's jaw clenched when he sat next to you, to your left and Ginevra quickly sat in the seat to his left. The meal went as well as expected. Jumin's father recognized that Jumin had his hands full and spent the majority of the dinner talking business with Mr. Lorenzi without his son. Meanwhile, you were awkwardly playing with your filet mignon, avoiding eye contact with everyone until Jumin leaned his face down to your avoidant eye level. You snapped out of your trance immediately. You looked up at him -- his eyebrow was raised with an inquisitive expression. Okay, that was adorable. You held back your intruisive thoughts, blinking up at him, silently asking, "What is it?" Jumin stared a little longer than necessary, before snapping out of his own trance and leaning in further and whispering in your ear, "...Are you alright?" You nodded in reply, "Just a little uncomfortable." Jumin gazed down at you in concern, "We can leave if you--" "No. No, I'll stay." Who knows what that girl will do if I leave. He didn't look convinced. Suddenly, Ginevra was calling for Jumin. Repeatedly. He turned in annoyance, "Yes?" Her voice got low, clearly to exclude you from the conversation, "Let's go somewhere..." she looked Jumin up and down slowly, "...else.." And with no shame, she lowered a manicured hand to his knee, slowly trailing it up to his thigh. He immediately grabbed her wrist, saying in a low, deadly voice, "I have a fiance." She sighed in frustration, "You're kidding yourself, baby--" Jumin's eyes widened suddenly, and not due to anything Ginevra was saying. Your hand was high on his thigh as you leaned into the conversation you'd heard the entirety of. "Miss... whatever your name is.... Jumin is my husband. Soon. We have something you could never dream of every having because your personality sucks. And honestly, only you can fix that." There was silence at the entire table for a moment before Ginevra turned her head quickly toward her father, "Daddy?!" Her father had already gotten up, ushering the business conversation to continue rather than deal with his trainwreck of a daughter. She huffed, looking red in the face, perhaps in embarrassment as well as anger. "Well, you still can't prove that you're even dating!" You very furious now, your glare cold enough to freeze the desert, "Is proof really the only thing that will shut you up?" Before she could even answer, you geared your pissed off expression toward a semi-intimidated, semi-turned on Jumin and grabbed his face, meeting his lips with your own. Your kiss was meant to only last a few seconds at most, but when you tried to pull away, Jumin only deepened the kiss, pulling your face harshly toward his own. He tugged at your hair, earning a loud moan from you as he forced his flush lips further onto yours, his tongue gaining entrance into your mouth. His eyebrows were deeply knit into a consentrated expression, groaning as he felt you readjust your position onto his lap. You stradled his lap, a leg on either side of him, your tongues battling for dominance as you fished for air between you two. At last, you both parted, heaving in big breaths as a string of spit clung between your mouths -- only to go in for another searing kiss. You began to roll your hips against his own, gently at first but quickly gaining more momentum and roughness as you two continued to make out. You'd noticed his hard-on the moment you'd straddled his lap but it only grew as you two began to explore the other's body. And just like that, you realized you were still in a formal dining setting. With other people. You pushed against Jumin's chest, looking around you in a frenzy. Ginevra was long gone along with the Chairman and Mr. Lorenzi. It was just the two of you, it looked as if it was after hours for the dining here. Soft jazz still played melodically through quiet speakers. Your eyes met back again with Jumin. He was smirking, still breathing heavily, his eyes glowing with mischief and a clear message that said something you probably would blush saying out loud. You laughed a little at the sudden turn of events. Did he like you? You wondered. He made quick work of dragging you (because your legs turned into jelly) out of the dining hall and back to his hotel suite. Jumin hurridely opened his hotel door before slamming you against the wall and continued to kiss you furvently on your neck, chest and of course, lips. He began to grind on you, letting out a soft curse when you mewled in his ear. Both your cheeks were completely red from the heated exchange and the embarrassment that both of you felt at your candid feelings. Yet something still bothered you. You pushed him away with all the strength you had because he was just so addicting. "J-jumin.... wait..." You gasped between breaths, "...I-I don't do this sorta thing... for fun..." Jumin frowned at this, his jaw feathering as he said darkly, "I don't either." You shook your head, "No, Jumin... I mean... I-I......" You took a big breath of air, "I'm in love with you. Have, for long time... pretty sure you don't feel .... the same wa--" Jumin's eyes narrowed as he dove in for another kiss with so much force that the air was nearly knocked out of you. "Y/N," he began, "Do you have any clue how much I've held back? Even now, do you know how hard it is for me not to pick you up and fuck you right here and now? Do you know how long--" He laughed sardonically, "Y/N, I swear you're doing this on purpose." "Doing wha--" "Making me fall deeper and deeper in love with you! I'm already pass the point of no return. Hell, I've never felt a fraction of what you make feel in a moment... in my entire life." You took a moment to really look at him. The expression of complete and udder desperation was now clear as day on his face, his cheeks flushed, breathing heavily, his tie loose around his neck, chest slightly exposed. He began again, "Please. Please... put me out of my misery. Say you're mine, please." Your eyes never leaving his, tears prickling your eyes, you answered, "I always was Jumin.. and I always will be. And, and if the offer still stands--" You blushed, looking down shyly and your feet, ashamed of your own boldness. Jumin's eyes pooled impossibly darker as he picked you up and led you to his bed, laying you down gently and asking, "I know this is probably soon but... Y/N, will you make me the happiest man on earth?" You laughed, pure joy on your face as you shamelessly cried, "Yes!" over and over again. Jumin couldn't hold back the huge grin that took over his face as he kissed you in between laughs.

TRANSLATIONS: * “Do you speak French?” ** “You are just too cute.” *** “She will also have a lot of cream in her coffee.” **** “It is so nice to see a couple on their honeymoon”

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wahbegan · 2 years

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The Black Phone Review

So, since there isn’t much in the way of an actual review of the movie in The Black Phone tag, primarily because it’s full of....ahem....other things, I thought I’d give writing one a spin, since I do that sometimes.

So far, i honestly have no idea if the Stephen King curse of having 95% of all adaptations of his work suck shit is hereditary or not. Joseph Hillstrom King, better known as Joe Hill (whose pen name is apparently because he doesn’t want to live in his father’s shadow, but honestly i think it’s because he doesn’t want to go by Joe King because it sounds like a fake name the fucking Joker would make up), only has four adaptations to his name, present company excluded. So far. The Locke and Key Netflix series, the NOS4A2 AMC series, and the films In the Tall Grass and Horns. And In the Tall Grass was co-written with Stephen King, so it’s more like three and a half.

Now I’ve never seen the tv shows because i haven’t read Locke and Key and because NOS4A2 is by far and away my favorite of Joe Hill’s novels, and i almost know for a fact that it would disappoint me because of the love i have for that book and the image of it built in my head. But they both got good reviews. Not STELLAR, but good.

In the Tall Grass was received about as well as any other adaptation Stephen King gets his filthy mitts on, and Horns was pretty much considered mediocre. Just...fine, i guess.

So we’re in this limbo here with Joe Hill adaptations, which is a shame, because by and large, i actually (HERESY ALERT) tend to like his work better than his father’s. None of his movie adaptations have been just hilariously fucking awful like a lot of Stephen’s, but none of them have really been fucking solid gold diamond-studded hallmarks of cinema like the select few of Stephen’s, either.

So it’s a bit odd to me that Scott Derickson picked The Black Phone to adapt. I mean Hill only has four novels to his name, the rest being comics and short stories, and someone already has the rights to The Fireman, while Heart-Shaped Box languishes in development Hell for idk 15 years, so it’s understandable he’d go for a short story.

But still, The Black Phone is a very simple story, about ten pages long, with all of the action confined to a brief kidnapping scene and one room. Certainly an ambitious thing to try to tackle, but i was worried about how much expanding on the story the movie was going to have to do.

I was then further worried by the trailers, because whoever edited them honestly needs to be taken out back and shot. Those despicable fucking trailers that just take you beat-by-beat through the movie, first of all, and also edited lines of dialogue to, inexplicably, make them sound much less natural and much more expository and heavy-handed than they actually were.

Also, you may remember Scott Derickson as the lad who did Sinister. Ohh, now it makes sense why he’d pick this movie, he fucking loves mixing true crime with dead kids jump scaring his audience. And I was worried it would be too much like Sinister, where the truly fucking harrowing part of that movie (the snuff films) ended up taking a backseat to his love of dead kids running about and over-the-top goofy looking villains.

Again, this wasn’t helped by the trailers, which put the dead kids and the killer’s mask (not present in the original story, in which he was just some fat, gross-looking guy) front and center, including a group shot of all the dead kids blocking the road that Derickson pretty much copy/pasted from Sinister.

But this is Joe Hill, i thought, and i actually have a girl to take to see it, and it’s getting good reviews, so what the hell.

So does it do it? Does The Black Phone finally make a Joe Hill adaptation that is as extremely good or extremely bad as one of his dad’s?

Well.....no. Not...really. Unfortunately, it’s not the kind of movie that is so good it’s going to be culturally revered or anything.

This is all just my expectations, though. Which muddied things a lot. My advice? Just don’t watch the trailers at all, and don’t think of Sinister or the legacy of Stephen King when you watch it. And for the sweet love of merciful Christ, don’t think of what lurks in The Black Phone tag on tumblr. Take it as its own thing.

Because as its own thing, it’s a very fucking good movie.

Everything Sinister did wrong, The Black Phone does right. The supernatural elements are actually used fairly lightly, and almost all the horror in the movie comes from how fucked up the all-too-familiar true crime situation is. A boy stops to help a seemingly clumsy, friendly doofus who took a pratfall and spilled his magician’s act all over the pavement. The next thing he knows, he’s got wasp spray in his eyes and is being bundled into a van. And this isn’t the first time.

Those kidnappings serve the same purpose the snuff films in Sinister did, but are a lot less in-your-face and just let you simmer in the implications.

Even Ethan Hawke’s masked child-killer, The Grabber, doesn’t appear very often. It’s the tension. The mystery of what, exactly, he does to kids between kidnapping and murdering them. The horrible but very nicely restrained descriptions of some, but not all, of the atrocities committed on his victims. The heavy implication, but refusal to outright confirm that he’s a pedophile. The agonizingly long shots of his victim trying to escape his basement dungeon, knowing that he could appear at any moment.

This wouldn’t work as well if The Grabber wasn’t acted superbly, but he really is. Ethan Hawke is fucking terrifying, which is not an adjective I would have ever used for him before, but he really is. He plays The Grabber with this....softness is the wrong word, but at least a front of it. A disquieting and jarring childishness in some scenes, a clear immaturity. Whether he’s just stunted emotionally or putting on a front for his victim’s sake isn’t clear, but either way it gets under your skin.

Especially because they never tell you anything about this guy. Not even his name. There’s no backstory of abuse, no rounds with his therapist, no diary, nothing. All we have to go on is Ethan Hawke’s excellent performance and tiny scraps of implication. It makes his behavior and mood swings harder to predict in a very refreshing way.

Like most abusers, he wasn’t angry the majority of the time. Wasn’t outwardly threatening. Even his weird Devil mask, while ostentatious, seems to be less of a fright mask and more of his own bizarre, childish way of expressing his mood and persona at the time. He swaps it out between a completely mouthless version when speaking to the protagonist just after the kidnapping, a sickening grin when he dotes on his victim and brings him food, and an exaggerated, pouty frown when he waits at the top of the stairs, shirtless, holding a belt, just waiting for him to try to escape.

I know a lot of people think that image is hot. Let me be clear, it is probably the single scariest fucking shot of the movie. I just couldn’t stop thinking of some incredibly damaged, sick motherfucker imitating what he saw as a kid. Making a vaudeville horror show out of child abuse.

Yes, this is one of the most effective horror movie killers in recent history.

But there’s so much more to the movie than that! The protagonist and his sister are also both played fucking stunningly, both being given a LOT of VERY heavy material to work with. Abuse, bullying, the kidnapping that forms the crux of the movie, and they nail it. The sister’s hysterical screams and sobs as their father beats her while the brother watches, angry out of his mind but paralyzed with fear is....

Jesus.

This movie is very gritty, by the way. Not in an over-the-top, in-your-face way, just a...an air of detached realism. It’s set in the late ‘70s, but instead of the nostalgic sheen recent media puts over everything from that fucking era, it’s portrayed in a very naturalistic way. There’s some lovely use of 8mm film, the lighting and costuming department did a very good job capturing the look of the era, and most importantly, childhood in the ‘70s, when beating your kids was still pretty normalized, missing faces got printed on milk cartons, and stranger danger was at its peak.

It’s not glamorized at all, is me point.

BUT it’s also not all doom and gloom. The kids are the main stars of this movie, and they do an amazing job at not just being victim, but being survivors and rising above the bullshit they go through. The protagonist’s little sister in particular is an incredible character, given some of the best lines in the movie.

And over the titular Black Phone...the dead children are played as scary a bit. Thrice, in fact. There are three jump scares, one of which made a woman in my theater scream. But for the most part, they’re not played for horror. They’re played for a surprisingly meditative melancholy. They’re played for just fucking sadness at the young lives cut brutally short, whatever innocence they had lost.

And by the end, they’re played for a sense of camaraderie in darkness that really fucking tugs at your heartstrings. I was not expecting this movie to be as emotional as it was.

So in the end, The Black Phone is gripping, tense as fuck, psychological, pretty fucking harrowing, depressing and cathartic all at the same time. The direction and art are quite nice, and i don’t have many problems with it.

James Ransome’s character is a little weird, sticks out just a mite, buuuutt that can be forgiven. It is also very Stephen King-y, with absolutely psychotic bullies and an abusive alcoholic father, although his abuse and alcoholism are both contextualized in a bizarrely grounded way.

Finally, yeah, just a content warning, in case you haven’t already picked it up. As I said, there are no explicit mentions of or depictions of pedophilia but it is heavily implied. No kids are shown being murdered, but they do talk about it, and they do get the shit kicked out of them both by other kids and by their parents. I mean violence against children is the principal theme of this movie so, while it ultimately ends on a pretty uplifting note, i’d still avoid it if you’re squeamish about that sort of thing.

But will it be remembered alongside The Shining or The Shawshank Redemption? Or even the recent IT movies? Fuck no, but i would venture a guess and say it’s definitely the best Joe Hill adaptation to date

#The Black Phone #Joe Hill #Scott Derickson #i should make a tag for my reviews you know what i will #reviews

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redgoldsparks · 3 years

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September Reading and Reviews by Maia Kobabe

reviews below the cut

Star Trek: The Wounded Sky by Diane Duane

I heard Diane Duane talk about this book on a podcast years ago, and she made it sound so compelling it's been on my radar ever since, even though I have never watched a single episode of Star Trek's original series. I went online recently to see if it was available as audiobook, and found a fan-made one which was posted chapter by chapter to youtube during 2020! Three friends decided that recording this book would be their covid project, and apparently Diane Duane retweeted several of their posts about it. I don't know if that counts as official authorization, but at the very least she was aware of the project and looked favorably on it. The story itself is quite enjoyable. It opens with Captain Kirk's Enterprise being awarded the chance to test out a new engine system, the Intergalactic Inversion Drive, which far outstrips the warp drive in instantaneous jump capabilities. The Enterprise ends up hosting the alien scientist who invented it, an original character created by Duane who stole every scene she was in. This Inversion Drive pulls energy from an infinitely dense particle, but as the crew soon discovers, using it can have catastrophic effects on matter, time, and space near the ship. The ordeal that the crew must go through to heal the effects of the Inversion Drive is deeply philosophical and genuinely moving. I was already a long-time fan of Duane's Young Wizards series, but I'm definitely interested in reading more of her Star Trek novels after this.

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

A very fun, fast, addictive read. I think I plowed through the 500 pages in about 4 days? I can see why people are so into this series. It opens in fantasy-Amsterdam, where six outcasts and criminals assemble for a seemingly impossible heist: to steal a scientist out of a prison in the most highly guarded city in fantasy-Scandinavia. The crew is eclectic- a sharp-shooter, a spy, a demolitions expert who happens to be a runaway nobleman's son, the thief/mastermind, a disgraced member of fantasy-Scandinavia's military and a Grisha, aka, a witch. In this world some people are born with aptitudes for powers, some to work with natural materials, or work with weather, or to heal, or to kill. The scientist our team aims to collect has invented a drug which amplifies these powers to an almost unstoppable level, but the drug will also kill the magic user after only a few doses. The control of this drug, and of the addicted Grisha, could turn the fortunes of entire countries. Naturally, everyone on the heist team is between 15 and 18 years old, and there's a tangled web of crushes, loyalties and betrayals between them. I was slightly caught off guard by the semi-cliff hanger ending, but it means I'll probably start the second one as soon as I can get my hands on it, which is, I'm sure, the point!

The Accursed Vampire by Madeline McGrane

I've been following Madeline McGrane's work for several years, enjoying the Little Vampire comics via zines and tumblr posts. I was extremely excited when this book was announced! I read it all in one day, and enjoyed it, but I have different feelings about it than my pure delight over the mini-comics that it grew out of. The story opens with vampire friends Dragoslava, Eztli and Quintus hanging in a graveyard, enjoying the vibes of fall. Then Drago receives an ominous missive: someone has stolen a spell book from a witch he is indentured to. She demands he retrieves it or there will be consequences. So the three undead children set out towards the little Michigan town of Baneberry Falls. There they encounter a grown up vampire and her witch girlfriend, who end up taking the trio under their wing. The mini-comics often just tell quiet, introspective slice-of-life moments of this queer found family going about their day. The graphic novel, to add excitement, throws in a vampire hunter and a few cursed items. I understand that a book for young readers should probably include some excitement and plot, but part of me wished the book was really just about Dragoslava quietly learning to handle their periods of melancholy and beginning to release their feelings of martyrdom and abandonment to enjoy the simple pleasures of warm blood and friendship. As odd as this may sound, I sort of wish the book had... less plot? All that said, the art is very gorgeous, and I did love seeing these characters in full color (the mini-comics were in black and white). It seems like there will be a second book in this series, so I will look forward to it, hoping for some more slice-of-life scenes in the sequel.

Jukebox by Nidhi Chanani

Twelve-year-old Shaheen's father loves vinyl records and she's tired of hearing about it. When he mysteriously disappears, she and her fifteen year old cousin Naz naturally look for him at his favorite record store. They find his broken glasses and a mysterious jukebox, which has the power to transport people to the back in time. Shaheen and Naz visit several important moments in Black American music history, searching for Shaheen's father. The art in this book is very lovely, but the story didn't quite land for me. It's a good concept, but I think the time travel took up so much page time I never felt like I really got to know any of the characters well.

Sorted: Growing Up, Coming Out and Finding My Place, a Transgender memoir written and read by Jackson Bird

The story of a trans man who grew up deeply closeted in Texas, didn't even really learn about the LGBT community until college, and eventually came out publicly after graduating from undergrad. Along the way he experienced periods of joyful friendship and periods of depression, and found community volunteering for the organization formerly known as The Harry Potter Alliance (now FandomForward.org). Jackson was ran their youtube series as a volunteer before being hired fulltime as part of their social media team, so when he did come out, he had to do so publicly to his followers as well as to his friends and family. I listened to the audiobook read by the author which is only about 6 hours. It's written in an accessible style and the story moves fairly quickly.

I Hate Everyone But You by Gaby Dunn and Allison Raskin (re-read)

Ava and Gen are high school BFFs, but now work to maintain their close friendship from opposite sides of the country during their first semester at college. Ava is studying screen writing at the University of Southern California, while Gen crashes into the student journalism scene at Emerson College in Boston. Ava has struggled with mental illness since childhood, and anxiety, new therapists and new medications complicate her already stressful new schedule. Gen jumps headfirst into multiple newly available queer relationships, including a fling with a fellow student, an affair with her TA, a bitter rivalry with another journalist student and fun hookups with grad students. The friends' successes are real and their failures are epic, testing their mental health, GPAs, and commitment to one another. This novel, told entirely in their texts and emails, is quick and witty. A light and fun read, especially if you've ever had a long distance best friend! Edit: re-read in 2021. I still enjoyed this a lot (I have the sequel on hold now) but I definitely think the book is less engaging if you aren't a fan of the authors/haven't watched a lot of their youtube videos or listened to the podcast. If you are going in blind, be prepared for a lot of inside jokes that may or may not make sense.

The Legend of Auntie Po by Shing Yin Khor

Beautifully written, beautifully drawn, this comic tells the story of Mei, a Chinese-American girl who works as a cook in a logging camp in the Sierra Nevadas in the 1880s. Her and her father's skills in the kitchen are prized, but Chinese works are severely discriminated against. Mei focuses on her friendship with the camp foreman's daughter and a series of tall tales she weaves at campfires about Auntie Po, a giant Chinese matriarch with her blue ox. Auntie Po wields a mean ax and helps keep loggers safe on the mountains. But even Auntie Po might not be able to protect Mei from the harsh realities of the world. This book was just nominated for the National Book Award for Young People's Literature, and I will add to that my own high recommendation.

The Girl from The Sea by Molly Know Ostertag

A very sweet queer fairytale with a gentle environmental bend. High schooler Morgan has been struggling recently- her parents are newly divorced, her little brother has been acting out, and she's hiding her queer identity from everyone even her close friend group. One night when walking the sea cliffs near her home on an island she stumbles, hits her head, and falls into the ocean. Just when her life is flashing before her eyes she is rescued by Keltie, a selkie girl who claims Morgan is her one true love. They kiss, and begin dating in secret. But their relationship isn't the only thing both girls are hiding. As the summer unwinds they have to make some hard choices, including whether they can forgive each other after a fight. Beautifully drawn and wholesome.

American Wolf: A True Story of Survival and Obsession in the West by Nate Blakeslee read by Mark Bramhall

I listened to this as an audiobook and I was completely sucked in. The true story of the re-introduction of wolves to Yellowstone National Park is woven together with the stories of park rangers, hunters, and individual wolves who park visitors and watchers were able to observes with unprecedented closeness. The bulk of the story takes place between 1995, when the wolf re-introduction project began, and 2013. The most charismatic character is a wolf known as O-Six, a female alpha, who lead a scrappy little pack to dominance and prosperity in the Lamar Canyon in Yellowstone. Exceptionally brave, a peerless hunter, blessed with skills, intelligence, and luck, she became one of the most photographed and most well-known wolves the park has ever had. As her rein unfolded, a parallel struggle was taking place in the courts in Wyoming, Idaho and Montana over the right to hunt and kill wolves. I left this book with more understanding about the political pressures of the region, and a lot of thoughts on how similar wolf packs are to human families. The loss of even one member can be devastating to all of the survivors.

Please Send Help by Gaby Dunn and Allison Raskin

This one didn't do it for me like the first book in the series did. I think perhaps because the obsessive emailing/texting just made more sense to me as something that college freshmen would do, and seemed like realistic for college grads working their first jobs? It was a pick read though, and I might still pick up the sequel.

She of the Mountains written and read by Vivek Shraya

I listened to this as an audiobook without realizing it was initially an illustrated novel, and I was probably missing out quite a lot by not being able to see the pictures! Ah well, I still enjoyed it. It tells two interwoven stories, one of a queer Indian-Canadian man coming of age, growing through several romantic relationships and into a relationship with his own body. The other is a re-imagining of piece of Hindu mythology, of Parvati's creation of Ganesh, his murder by Shiva, and his recreation with the head of an elephant. The overall theme is of the simultaneous monstrousness and divinity of bodies, and how one makes peace with the body they must live in.

Given vol 1 by Natsuki Kizu

Uenoyama is an indifferent student but a passionate guitar player. When he meets Mafuyu, an oddball from another class at his high school, carrying an extremely expensive guitar that he doesn't know how to play, Uenoyama's attention is caught. He helps Mafuyu fix a broken string, and Mafuyu asks him for guitar lessons. Uenoyama shrugs this off, saying he'd be a bad teacher because he's entirely self-taught. But after he hears Mafuyu's incredible singing voice (and hears rumors about a tragedy in his past) he decides he will take the other boy under his wing. It's hinted there will be a very slow-burn romance between the two, but I'm not sure this first book hooked me strongly enough to keep going with the series. I did like the side characters of Uenoyama's sister and his two bandmates, but the pacing of the story felt a bit rough.

#comics #reading #books #book reviews #comic book reviews

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maxwell-grant · 3 years

Note

Any thoughts on Sandman Mystery Theatre and Wesley Doods?

I'll probably write more in-depth about Wesley in particular once I'm more acquainted with his history, because I've discovered recently there is much, much more to the JSA's characters than I had initially presumed, and some pretty massive bits of Wes's own history that I can't overlook in a more in-depth post. But regarding Sandman Mystery Theatre, I gotta talk about my history with it specifically.

I picked up the first volume of Sandman Mystery Theatre by complete accident when I was very young. At the time I was specifically looking for Sandman comics because I wanted to do a school project on Neil Gaiman's Sandman, which I knew very little about, and so I picked up at a store Endless Nights and a comic called Sandman Mystery Theatre that, as you can see in the cropped image above, had his name on the cover, so I figured it had to be in the same series (which it kinda is but not really).

While there's older stuff that's tied up in my appreciation of them, this was my first encounter with Pulp Heroes, even when I didn't know what they were, before I discovered The Shadow for real. Ground Zero, as we call it. And it all starts specifically with this page:

The comic had already started off completely unlike anything I'd picked up before from Marvel and DC. It was an urban story with no superheroes or cartoons in sight, instead there were all these regular, wrinkled middle-aged people with warts and sweaters and pudgy noses at the center of it, people that you don't find in superhero stories where the imperfections of humanity are ever shaved off. It was more akin to what I had only experienced through film, but in a comic, and at the time, that was new to me.

And when it was time for the story's big reveal of it's hero, the big wide shot reserved for a Superman power stance or Batman hunched in the rain, it was with this scene: A weird little creep in a trenchcoat and fedora, with a gas mask barely concealing his startled eyes, shocked by the intrusion of the light that ever so blesses The Superhero Moment, squatting in a dirty bathroom with a hand stretched out menacingly towards the horrified woman, stretching towards you, stretching past the panel borders that should lock this ugly little thing in it's place.

I still think of this image as one of the main signifiers as to what I think sets superheroes and pulp heroes apart. Because at the time, this was a revelation. This costume was a revelation in general.

I was never going to find Spider-Man or Wolverine like this, even their dirtier and less dignified moments were still mired in some form of glory. Even in Spider-Man's lowest points he's still expect to rise above them dramatically or at least suffer them dramatically, when Wolverine prowls in the sewers he does so gleaming with power and ferocity and ripped shirts and immortality. And of course, I was never going to look like, or be like, Spider-Man or Wolverine no matter how hard I worked at it.

But this guy? This is a shitty little bug man caught with it's pants down somewhere it was not supposed to be, as terrified of being caught as we would be to find it prowling around. Painfully humanized, despite it's best efforts. He's dressed in a drab suit with a dorky tie, a disheveled coat, and a gas mask and hat. But the thing about “coolness” is that often the best way to make something genuinely cool is to try to make it uncool to begin with. There's nothing super about this guy, but there's something effortlessly cool about him nonetheless, something that doesn't require a bodybuilder's physique or a model's face, something unlike a superhero but just as cool visually if not more so. Anyone could look like this guy.

I could look like this guy.

And not just visually, the other thing that hooked me into Mystery Theatre was it's characterization. Much like the art, it was different than what I was used to from other comics I read. It dealt with it's drama differently, it's deaths had weight and so did the character's reactions to them. It had gangsters and torturers and serial killers and pedophiles and crooked police officers and none of them were going to get chopped to bits by Wolverine or tied up in streetlights by Batman anytime soon. It didn't have supervillains, it had a mother and son as masked murderers and torturers hiding in plain sight even while mutilating their own families. It had grueling torture scenes and it's female protagonist forcing herself to stare at the mutilated corpse of her best friend just so she can spare her family the pain of doing so.

Diane Belmont is great and, again, I had never seen a comic book with this kind of story with a female protagonist so strongly at the forefront of it, and with all these other characters getting their side stories in. It was not about the guy in a costume being the center of everything awesome to happen, because there was hardly anything of the sort happening. "Understated" is the key word here for what made Sandman Mystery Theatre special to me at the time.

Wesley Dodds himself is a schlubby, quiet guy in glasses with a pudgy nose and a round face who makes origami and writes poems, who only really has his gun and mask and wits to tackle problems he is not even particularly well-equipped to handle, but goes out there and does anyway. He moves around quietly but still has to escape desperate situations by the skin of his teeth. He doesn't interrogate people in costume by dangling them off rooftops, he threatens to poison their dog if they don't tell him what he needs to know. He sets up little traps with cans and wire to let him know if a cop is approaching his investigation, and he doesn't take down the Tarantula at the end without assistance nor does he linger around to receive any credit for it.

He is not at all an action hero, nothing about this guy even really indicates he's cut out for this life, but he's determined and compelled and tormented by nightmares that don't allow him to refuse the call, so he makes it happen, and throught that, he makes enough of a difference to shift the scales of life and death to those that cannot rely on others to protect them. Those that can't rely on police or family or superheroes to save them. That's when the eerie little nobody in a fedora and gas mask comes in, inadequate as he may be, still desperately trying to do the right thing.

While I did read some of his Golden Age adventures for context's sake, I don't know much of anything about Wesley's other adventures outside of Mystery Theatre or his costumed superhero phase or history with the JSA and DCU and whatnot, and frankly that stuff is so far removed from my enjoyment of Mystery Theatre that it might as well just be a different character (although I will be checking out out of curiosity).

So yes, Mystery Theatre is great, I sing the praises of Matt Wagner often enough and I definitely should look into the rest of Guy Davis's work, but the main thing about it to me is that it was my first contact with pulp in any of it's forms. Sandman was my first Pulp Hero. If nothing else I'll always appreciate the character for that.

#replies tag #pulp heroes #comic books #matt wagner #sandman #wesley dodds #sandman mystery theatre #guy davis

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adventseven · 3 years

Photo

Static Is Back | COMIC BOOK REVIEW

It’s time to put a shock back to your system. That's right, after its short-lived run as a part of DC's New 52, the electrifying teen superhero is gracing the pages of DC comics once again.

The series is titled, Static: Season One, written by Vita Ayala and art by Chriscross and Nikolas Draper-Ivey. The first issue of this six-part series was released on June 15th, 2021.

Static isn’t the only hero from Milestone Comics making their return. Both Icon & Rocket and Hardware are receiving six-part series as well, officially re-establishing the “Dakotaverse”.

For those of you who don’t know what the “Dakotaverse” is, let me give you a quick rundown. The “Dakotaverse" refers to all characters licensed by DC Comics from Milestone Comics. All characters involved are based in/operate out of the fictional city of Dakota, whose population is majority Black with a heavy gang presence. Milestone Comics’ creator, the truly incomparable Dwayne McDuffie (may he rest in peace) and Denys Cowan, wanted to write stories featuring Black heroes so readers could see that heroes come in all colors. They also wrote stories from their own experiences which is why Dakota is a stand-in for any inner city in America.

The following will be a review for both Milestone Returns and Static: Season One #1. Spoiler Warning.

Milestone Returns is essentially issue 0 for the three new series being revived, Static, Icon & Rocket, and Hardware. For both Static and Hardware, it revamps their origin stories. Originally, Virgil Hawkins, Static, gains his powers because he was dragged into a gang war and was exposed to an explosion of strange gas. This event is known as the “Big Bang”. In Milestone Returns, the “Big Bang” happens at a Black Lives Matter protest in Dakota when the police decide to use an experimental “tear gas” on the protesters.

Of course, updating Static’s origins allows readers to connect with the story on a personal level, given the events of 2020. This also aligns with McDuffie’s goal of using common experiences to tell amazing stories.

Hardware is introduced as the scientist, Dr. Curtis Metcalf, who developed the gas for Alva Industries (evil corporation). He is immediately blamed for the “Big Bang”. Seeing the writing on the wall, Dr. Metcalf runs to his secret lab to transform his body and equip armor with a lot of firepower.

Icon and Rocket's origins aren't fully explored here, but it does establish that Icon is an alien who has been on Earth for a looooong time. He is a Superman-like hero with several abilities even known to him. Rocket, on the other hand, is a girl from Dakota that met Icon and convinced him to clean up the drug problem in Dakota.

Milestone Returns defines the social issues created by the “Big Bang”, basically the same problems seen in the X-Men comics. We are shown Virgil’s first conflict with school bully turned pyromaniac villain, Hotstreak, and the rise of the big bad, Holocaust. There are a few smaller stories included in this comic but I'll let you read those for yourself.

Milestone Returns is a showcase of what we can expect in the future from the new writers and artists for these series. I highly recommend reading this comic if for nothing else seeing Virgil let out some major voltage. I rate it a 7/10.

Static: Season One #1 continues to dive into Virgil’s thoughts about all the changes he is going through. After his fight with Hotstreak, he’s worried he can’t control this new power. To his relief, no one except Hotstreak and Virgil’s friends, Frieda and Richie, knows he has powers.

Virgil is constantly feeling the buzz of electricity under his skin. While it isn’t hurting him, the pressure of controlling it is causing anxiety and irritability with those he's close to. Add in the trauma of being hospitalized by the "Big Bang" and knowing that the person that hates him the most could barbeque him, it's a lot for a 16-year-old to handle. It's a lot for anyone to handle.

The artwork and paneling in this comic are stunning. I am loving Virgil's new design. The characterization of Virgil, his family, and Hotstreak is perfect. Artist Nikolas Draper-Ivey has stated multiple times on Twitter that he wanted to give this series a cinematic quality. He has not disappointed the reader, so far. There are two scenes between Virgil and his family, one before the "Big Bang" and one in the present. The page layouts are identical but the conversations are very different in tone, and I am just amazed by these scenes.

I was already a Static fan before reading this comic, and now I’ve fallen in love with the character all over again. I rate this issue 9.5/10.

The next issue of Static doesn’t have a release date yet, but in the meantime, Icon & Rocket will be released in July and Hardware in August.

TL/DR: Static is back and it’s really good.

Milestone Returns, available now. Rating: 7/10

Static: Season One #1, available now. Rating: 9.5/10

By Tré Hanzy

Follow Tré on Twitter: https://twitter.com/tre_hanzy

Follow us on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Advent_Seven Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/AdventSevenMedia

#static shock #virgil hawkins #dc comics #milestone comics #2021

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theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin · 4 years

Note

ohh i saw your answer about the sequels of star wars. id love to read you tear through the whole trilogy

Well, I’ve avoided this ask long enough. Part of the reason is this is really a huge topic, far too much for one ask, so I’m going to have to do this at a very high level.

In short, the Star Wars Sequel Trilogy is what one gets when you slap together the goal of selling merchandise and making tons of money, being as risk averse as humanly possible, adding a handful of warring directors with incredibly different visions, and having virtually no imagination when it comes to the imagining and writing of characters.

And we get this beautiful, awful, franchise that for reasons beyond me people seem to actually like (though interestingly, no one seems to like all of it, they may actually like one or two of the films, but no one says all three are actually in any realm of good).

With that, let’s begin.

The Force Awakens

For me this is easily the most tolerable of the sequel trilogy: it’s not great, it’s not terrible. It’s thoroughly watchable, you can be taken along for the movie’s journey and not raise your eyebrows too much at the action and leave the theater feeling this maybe wasn’t a complete waste of your time.

There’s a good reason for that. That reason is called the most blatant form of plagiarism I have ever seen in cinema in my life.

“The Force Awakens” is just “A New Hope” wearing a mustache. Only, it’s one of those cheap mustaches you get from a party store that, if you stare at it too long, just looks like the most false and awful thing you’ve ever seen. The mustache actively makes it worse. “The Force Awakens” is “A New Hope”, but worse.

Seriously, every major character, every major plot point, every major scene I can go directly back to “A New Hope”.

Our story begins when the Resistance, at great cost to our valiant heroes including torture at the hands of the Emperor’s second in command, sends a file out into the wilderness to be received by his people. This file contains plans for the Death Star.

The film then focuses on Luke, er Rey, getting involved in the Resistance, boarding the Death Star, and successfully destroying at the same time even at the lost of a beloved mentor that she just met (trading in Obi-Wan for Han Solo).

Our evil empire is run by an evil emperor who is so evil he sits in a chair, is served by very Moth Tarkin-esque human storm troopers, and has a second in command who revels in the Darth Vader get up (for no other reason that it makes him feel cool but we’ll get into this).

It’s “A New Hope”. Rey is Luke, Han Solo is Obi-Wan, Poe is a kind of Han Solo, Kylo Ren is Vader, Snoke is Palpatine, Hux is Tarkin, BB-8 is R2-D2, etc.

“But that’s not terrible,” you say, “I liked A New Hope?”

First, it is terrible, it gives a very bad sign of where the sequel trilogy is headed and is just lazy writing. It means that those who produced this franchise were so terrified of taking risks, of possibly ending up mocked as the prequels were, that they will deliver exactly what the original trilogy was. And what’s that? Uh, evil empires, scrappy desert kids, AND MORE DEATH STARS!

That brings us to point number two, the world of Star Wars after the events of the original trilogy shouldn’t support such things. And, if it does, my god what a bleak existence this place has turned into.

The First Order being able to rise easily from the Empire’s remains means that Luke accomplished nothing. Anakin sacrificed himself and had his moment of redemption for nothing. There was no happy ending to the Original Trilogy, our heroes failed miserably, and there is no indication that our new band of heroes can possibly succeed in their place. (More on this as the movies progress).

We now are in a galaxy where this new Republic is so pathetic that Leia doesn’t even give it the time of day and builds her own private army to battle the Empire. The First Order is able to not only rebuild a massive army by raiding villages on many different worlds and stealing children and do so successfully for at least ten years but is able to build a Death Star bigger than any we’ve ever seen before.

And the movie tries to convince us these are completely new problems, that Luke Skywalker is a hero (remember this is TFA, not TLJ yet), and that somehow these things just sprung up out of nowhere. BUT YEAH, RESISTANCE, WOO!

As for Rey, she’s like... a worse version of Luke. Her only motivation through the entire series is her trauma at being abandoned by her parents. That’s it, there’s nothing else to her, nothing else she ever wants or feels conflicted by. She struggles with the dark side because... the dark side? Genetics? Unclear? She’s absurdly, ridiculously, powerful in a way that’s acknowledged but never that acknowledged (we’ll get into this) and the movies just fail to sell me on her in any way.

Honestly, an easy fix for me would have just been making Rey a much younger character. I could believe a fourteen-year-old having stayed in the desert, scrounging for scraps, believing her parents are coming back every day now. As a twenty-something year old... It starts getting hard to believe she never left. (Also, this gets the benefit of getting rid of Reylo, which is always a plus for me).

As for Kylo Ren, I legitimately walked out of TFA thinking he was supposed to be comic relief. He’s what happens when someone desperately wants a likable, redeemable, villain and we get... Well, as a reminder his opening scene is one of genocide: he pillages and destroys a town with no regret and brutally tortures a man for information. We’re told he’s like this “because evil evil Snoke” and that may well be but throughout the film (and the series) it becomes clear that Kylo Ren’s main motivation is he deseprately wants to be cool. He wants to be a badass like Vader, he dresses in Vader cosplay (either ignoring or not knowing that Vader only dressed like that because his body was completely destroyed), he has these huge temper tantrums and nobody respects him because he’s a toddler in a Vader suit.

He murders his own father, his parents who (at least in the films themselves) show every willingness to take him back and forgive him what he’s done, so that he can fully embrace his own “evilness”. In other words, he commits patricide to feel cool about himself, then it doesn’t work.

And the movie series really banks on me feeling conflicted about Kylo Ren or at least wanting him to be redeemed. Granted, the wider internet seems to love him, I just can’t.

Oh, before I forget, the other thing I love about Kylo Ren is that the movies insist he’s a) strong in the Force b) is equal to Rey. Rey consistently beats the shit out of him with 0 training. Kylo Ren has been training in the Force for years. Guys, they are not a Dyad, Rey is far far far stronger than he is and for whatever reason the films never want to admit it. Because I guess we like things coming in pairs now.

But yes, “The Force Awakens”, at a distance not great nor terrible, but a rip off of a movie we’ve already seen that left me going “Welp, the next one’s probably The Empire Strikes Back then I guess we’re getting Ewoks”. I was sort of right on that and sort of wrong.

The Last Jedi

So, JJ Abrams clearly had a vision of where he wanted this sequel trilogy to go. He set up these big questions such as what’s up with Finn, who are Rey’s parents and why was she left on this nowhere planet, will Kylo Ren be redeemed and how, who is Snoke, etc.

Now, I’m not saying these aren’t stupid questions. To be frank, they kind of are. Finn being Force Sensitive was the most inconsequential thing I’ve ever heard of, Rey’s parents should not have been used to drive the plot the way it was, as spoken above I’m clearly team gut Kylo Ren, and that Snoke was actually just Palpatine being the world’s largest cockroach is a beautiful but hilarious answer.

That said, what Johnson did was he decided, “You know what, I’m going to take every trope of Star Wars and completely flip it on its head and absolutely doom the sequel to this movie.”

And by god, he did.

We get a weirdly pointless movie in which Poe, SINGLEHANDEDLY, completely obliterates the Resistance. He first obliterates their bombers by failing to follow command, then goes and bitches about how he’s not put in command when he clearly shows no ability to understand how a military works, actively subverts orders which in turn obliterates the entire Resistance fleet until the only survivors can fit on the Millenium Falcon. They have no ships, no weapons, barely any people, and are ultimately doomed doomed doomed.

We have Finn’s weird subplot with a suddenly introduced character Rose in which the pair aid in Poe’s blowing up the resistance (they send sensitive information using the communication equipment of a guy they do not know, who fully admits to being shady and out for his own skin, and are flabergasted when he betrays them).

Rose herself is this weirdly sweet person who seems forced into the plot to a) provide a love triangle for Finn and Rey b) provide this forced sunny outlook that I didn’t really need in the film.

We get Rey never really being trained, going into the Cave of Wonders for a few seconds, falling in love with Kylo Ren over weird Force Skype calls (where I did not need to see him shirtless, thank you film) and being horrifically betrayed when Kylo Ren turns out not to be a great guy. Never saw that coming, Rey.

As for Kylo Ren, well... God, we get Emperor Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren, the Emperor. I’m not even that upset about the anticlimactic murder of Snoke (that was kind of funny, especially in the context of Palpatine going, “Bitch, please, you’re in my chair” immediately in the next film) but just Kylo Ren being emperor. And also that the Resistance only escapes at all because he’s so dumb he made their dumb plans seem smart (i.e. concentrates all his firepower on an illusion for ten minutes while Hux goes, “Emperor, sir, we could actually destroy the Resistance right now.”

Now, you’ll notice I didn’t complain about Luke. A lot of people are upset he became a grumpy, miserable, old hermit who sits around waiting for death. Frankly though, in this universe, that’s exactly where he is. He left “Return of the Jedi” thinking he’d saved the world, he’s resurrected the Jedi Order, and all is well. Only a decade later, his students are all murdered by his nephew, the Empire’s back, and he accomplished nothing. He’s an utter failure as a Jedi (though Luke never realizes he knew jack shit about the Jedi Order and was in way over his head but I guess that’s beyond him). Why shouldn’t he go sit on a rock and wait to die?

Now, did he have to drink that blue dinosaur milk? Well, I guess it was funny, gross but funny so... Sure, I guess he did. But I do like that he gave Rey 0 training, they had one meditation session and then he whined about how Obi-Wan was such a stupid asshole. And then Rey ran off to be with her boyfriend, who then told her that her parents were gutter trash (which again, was funny, but I don’t think that was supposed to be funny).

Of the characters introduced in the movie, the only one I really liked was the hacker, and it was for the actor/the beautiful way in which he gracefully exited stage left with zero shame going, “You all knew I was going to betray you!” You beautiful man, you.

Rise of the Skywalker

First, when something is called “Rise of the Skywalker” you know you’re in for a rough time.

But anyways, TLJ was filled with a controversy Disney didn’t want (half their audience hated it, half loved it, but at least they sold those penguin dolls) so they desperately get Abrams back. Only, what he clearly wanted from his series has been shot to hell, and now he’s left with Emperor Kylo Ren, a completely obliterated Resistance, a dead Luke, a love interest he never planned to introduce for Finn, Rey’s parental crisis being solved with trash people, Snoke just suddenly dead, Hux planning revenge, and then some.

And so, Abrams goes the brave and hilarious route of shouting “PRETEND THAT LAST MOVIE NEVER HAPPENED”

We open to a fully functioning Resistance (their bomber fleet is back, their fleet period is back, they have all their fully trained personnel). We have Rey getting the Jedi training she needed this time from Leia, who is now a Jedi, because yay feminism rammed down my throat to make the audience feel better. Rose says “It’s cool guys, I don’t want to join the adventure this film, I’m going to stay here and work on robots” so that she can gracefully exit the entire plot. Kylo Ren is demoted from Emperor in two seconds when we discover that a) Snoke was apparently Palpatine b) for unexplained reasons Palpatine’s alive (and I am now convinced that man will never die). Kylo Ren tells Rey at the first opportunity that he lied about her trash parents AND REALLY SHE’S A PALPATINE! THIS WHOLE TIME, REY! THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. I’M SUPER SERIAL THIS TIME, REY.

Basically, in the course of an overly long movie, Abrams desperately shoves in everything he was trying to get out of the series, while sobbing, and sobbing even harder when things like Finn being Force Sensitive or Lando having a secret daughter get caught. I actually agree with the Producers on this, by the way, the Finn trying to tell Rey something scenes were weird and indicative of a love triangle but him being Force Sensitive instead... It says a lot that the movies did not change when it was removed, at all. And Lando was just this strange cameo who was in the film to make us feel nostalgic.

And this isn’t even getting to the ridiculous 24 hour time limit (which made me think there should have been some video game style clock in the corner letting us know when Dawn of the Third Day is coming), Palpatine’s other secret army on a secret Sith planet that can be easily taken down by taking out one navigation tower, Rey’s hilarious struggle with the dark side in which she has a vision of herself in a cape hissing, Kylo Ren’s hilarious redemption in which the movie in the form of Leia and Han Solo says, “Alright, Ben, it’s time to stop being evil” and he says “okay”, the fight with Palpatine in which I’m supposed to believe he dies for reals because... I have no idea why I’m supposed to believe he’s dead. The Reylo, god the Reylo, and Kylo Ren’s tragic, hilarious, death.

And then, of course, the ending where Rey decides she’s a Skywalker now.

I actually did laugh all the way through “Rise of the Skywalker”, you can’t not, I mean it’s a hilariously awful movie. The only thing that might have made it more hilarious was if we actually did get those Ewoks.

TL;DR

They’re all bad movies, if you want more specifics than this, you’re just going to have to ask me questions.

#ask #anon #anti star wars sequels #anti rey #anti kylo ren #anti reylo #ah what beautiful awful movies #i look foward to the characters being shocked and appalled when yet another evil empire arises in five years #i look forward to them being even more shocked when palpatine's still not dead #that man will never die

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littleabriel-blog · 3 years

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My Problem with Loki

Loki is a character beloved by many people. He has been for a decade now, although some people who read comics before the Marvel Cinematic Universe was a thing were fans of him long before the first Thor came out. Over the years since his appearance in that movie the character has gone through a lot of changes, evolving from a villain to an anti-hero both in the MCU and in the comics, the latter even killing off his original incarnation to reincarnate him in a younger body resembling Tom Hiddleston in the hopes that the comics could capitalize on his popularity in order to sell more books. That move, unfortunately, did not bear fruit, with Loki’s solo series being canceled after only five issues. However, Loki remained popular in the movies, so much so that when he was killed off in Infinity War, people were pissed.

As a result of his enduring popularity, Kevin Feige and company decided to give Loki his own solo series on Disney+ when the decision was made to create a string of MCU tie-in shows to supplement the movies, and boost subscription numbers to Disney’s new streaming service. Fans of the character rejoiced. Finally, our favorite character was going to be in the spotlight, and not be merely a supporting character for Thor and hopefully not a butt monkey for the Avengers like he was in the third act of the movie of the same name. WandaVision and The Falcon and The Winter Soldier had previously had well-received and successful debuts on that same platform, and it was hoped that Loki would do the same. Loki turned out to be the most successful of the Disney+ MCU shows that have come out so far, scoring highest in the ratings. As of this writing, it holds a 93% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes and an 8.5 on IMDb.

Those numbers, however, don’t reflect the entire audience and there were a lot of people who were not altogether happy with the product we received. Many people who had been hardcore fans of Loki since Tom Hiddleston first put on the horned helmet were not pleased, myself included.

The show wasn’t all bad. It did set up the multiverse, introduced Kang, introduced Mobius. The special effects were outstanding, a lot of the gags were hilarious, and we did get some character development from Loki before the spotlight fell away from him and he became all about panting after the real main character...more on that in a few.

So many things, however, were wrong.

If you liked the show, thought it was perfect, and were a fan of the romance, that’s perfectly fine. There is no such thing as a wrong opinion on a work of fiction. Everyone has their interpretations, everyone has their likes and dislikes, and there is nothing wrong with liking the show. There is also nothing wrong with not liking the show. This is a concept that people on both sides of the debate fail to understand, and I have witnessed flame wars, harassment from individuals on both sides, harassment of creators on social media from both sides, and various bits of biphobia, homophobia, transphobia, and other assorted types of phobias on display. I have seen people accuse people who have different opinions on the show than them of “not being a true Loki fan” and stating that people who have certain interpretations of the character don’t “truly know Loki”.

I’m not here to do that, and I assure you, if you liked the show, that’s fine. You’re allowed to. I’m allowed to not like it, and I’m allowed to explained why I didn’t like it just as you’re allowed to explain why you did. As long as both of us are being respectful, expressing an opinion is good. There is expressing an opinion and offering constructive criticism, however, and then there is namecalling, trolling, and having a tantrum and accusing someone of being “aggressive” when they don’t share the same opinion you do.

There is a huge difference between saying “I find the character of Sylvie to be problematic, and here is why” and “I think fans of Sylvie are sick and need therapy”, and people need to learn the difference between the two. Unfortunately, you have people who have become very protective of their favorite characters and tend to take any criticism leveled at said characters personally. It’s basically “You don’t like them? Well then you don’t like me, and since you don’t like me, I don’t like you.” Which is, frankly, a dangerous mentality to have. We are talking about fictional characters, not real people, and there is no need to jump to the defense of someone who does not exist. It is those people who tend to demonstrate that they have unstable personalities and immaturity, and they are the ones I have started blocking on Twitter because, being an adult woman, I don’t have the patience to deal with immature nonsense like that.

So, if you read this and then decide you want to hunt me down to give me a piece of your mind, tell me that I’m not a “true” fan of Loki, and accuse me of whatever, don’t bother. This piece isn’t here for that. It’s here because I wanted to compile my thoughts and feelings in a way that would better for me to articulate. It’s more or less a venting mechanism, purely for my benefit. If someone else gets something out of it, fine. If the creators of the show happen to see it, which is very unlikely because A) I’m not exactly going to push it onto them on their social media to get them to read it and B) they already get bombarded with tons of opinions on the show on a daily basis and aren’t going to care about one more voice added to the mix, even one who has basically compiled a novel, then alright.

And it is a novel, because I have a lot to say about Loki. I have been a huge fan of the character since long before Tom Hiddleston began playing him. My first encounter with Marvel’s Loki came in the form of the X-Men comics, specifically The Asgardian Wars run. It’s available in trade, and you should check it out. I read that run when I was around 10 years old, and I enjoyed Loki as the bad guy in the two stories that make up the collection. The first has him creating a special wish fountain that has a monkey’s paw effect in that it imbues mortals with special gifts and powers, and has the potential to make Earth a better place, but at the cost of killing every magical person and being on Earth. The X-Men and Alpha Flight find out about this after a plane piloted by the wife of one of the X-Men happens to crash in the general location the fountain is located. The two teams go to investigate, Shaman and Snowbird who are both magical beings begin dying, it’s discovered Loki created the fountain in order to score brownie points with The Ones Who Sit Above In Shadow (a pantheon of deities who are basically the Gods to the Asgardians), and after a lengthy battle Loki is defeated, he shuts down the fountain under pressure from The Ones, and slinks back to Asgard with tail between his legs.

In the second story, set after the heroes of Earth had helped Asgard defeat Surtur, Loki’s attention is caught by Storm, who at the time was depowered. He kidnaps her and brings her to Asgard intending to use her to replace Thor as the Goddess of the Storm, and use her as a pawn to, what else, conquer Asgard and seize the throne.

I really enjoyed Loki then, and felt sorry that he never appeared in any other X-Men story, not even in an issue of the New Mutants, and that team boasted an actual Valkyrie (Danielle Moonstar) as one of its members. I was a kid at the time and read pretty much exclusively X-Men since those were the books my father purchased for me. I never felt right about asking him for other books since we were a family with money struggles and I didn’t want to be more of a burden by requesting Thor or Avengers comics--that, and I just didn’t find Thor or the Avengers all that interesting at the time, a sentiment shared by a lot of people until the first Iron Man made us actually care about Tony Stark. I wouldn’t have an opportunity to start reading more comics featuring Loki until I was an adult and able to visit comic book stores on my own. I read several runs that featured him as a character, including Ragnarok, the Broxton, OK run where Loki first appeared as a woman, Dark Reign, and finally Siege. I also went back and read Walt Simonson’s legendary run on The Mighty Thor, which I highly recommend.

Suffice it to say, I’ve been a fan of the character for a long time, and in fact when Tom Hiddleston was cast in the role for Thor, I remember thinking that he was too young. But then I figured it was Hollywood, of course they’re going to deage Loki so that he appears closer in age to his adopted brother in contrast to the comics pre-Siege where Loki was often drawn to look like he was as old as Odin and therefore could be Thor’s uncle or even father as opposed to brother.

Over the years I grew to enjoy the MCU’s version of the character, enjoy Tom Hiddleston in the role, and like most other people was greatly saddened by his death in Infinity War. Like other fans, I looked forward to his solo series and had high hopes for it. Hopes that were, unfortunately, dashed.

It Was Rushed

In the MCU, it took Loki years to go from troubled young god, to villain, to ambivalent ally, to anti-hero, to hero. Literally, years. Months had passed between the end of Thor and the beginning of Avengers during which Loki endured who-knows-what at the hands of Thanos. We don’t know exactly what still. The Loki series didn’t answer that, I guess because they didn’t want to devote precious screentime to an interesting backstory for what was supposed to be the main character when they could focus on something else instead. That something else will be elaborated on.

In Episode 1, Loki is still the villain from Avengers, something he would have remained as into The Dark World. It would take him being in Asgard’s prisons for a year and then him accidentally getting his adopted mother Frigga killed in order for him to begin to do a heel-face turn. From this, we can clearly see that a transition from ax-crazy bad guy to anti-hero is not going to happen overnight. For this person I shall call Ragnarok Loki, it was a process that took time. He suffered a complete mental breakdown while in Asgard’s prison, a fragile emotional state that was compounded by the anger and massive guilt he felt at Frigga’s death.

Even after that, he still hadn’t completely abandoned his villainous ways. At the end of The Dark World we find out that after faking his supposed death earlier in the movie, Loki has assumed Odin’s form and taken his place on Asgard’s throne. In Ragnarok, Loki is still sitting on the throne in Odin’s form, and shows no indication at all that he feels any remorse for giving his adopted father amnesia, stripping away his magic, and abandoning him on Earth to whatever fate he might meet. Loki remains a selfish bastard throughout Ragnarok until the third act, after Thor had treated him to a taste of his own medicine by sticking a taser on him and then giving him a speech about becoming predictable and complacent.

Loki’s arc was one that spanned four movies and six years, since in-universe there were a couple of years between The Dark World and Ragnarok. That meant that his character development took actual time and was realistic. It was one of the things that drew people to the character, the fact that he had a very relatable and believable redemption arc.

Compare that to Episode 1. In less than a day he goes from being the Loki that we saw in Avengers, batshit crazy, selfish, callous, and untrusting, to making personal confessions to a man he had just met only a couple hours previously and agreeing to help the organization that had arrested, stripped, imprisoned, tried, and almost executed him.

What?

I will give the show this: In Episode 2, he shows that he’s still up to his old tricks when he feeds Mobius and the agents all that horsecrap about how a Loki works in the Ren Faire tent, and then revealing that he plans to take over the TVA when he confronts his variant in the futuristic Wal-Mart. The weeping confession to Mobius, that I can’t really get over. How do you go from haughty, arrogant, and “trust is for children and dogs”, to “I don’t enjoy hurting people” in just a couple of hours? The show never indicated that it was a manipulation tactic on Loki’s part. Instead, we were basically told to believe that they became friends just that fast. That emotionally stunted and closed-off Loki made a connection with another person in a matter of hours. Makes sense. Don’t get me wrong, I like Mobius and feel he makes a good foil for Loki. I hope to see more of him in the future. I just have a tough time finding their friendship all that believable.

This would not be the only relationship in the show that happened too fast that we were forced to just buy, which leads me to Sylvie.

She’s the variant that the TVA had been hunting, that Mobius recruited Loki to help capture. And while I normally hate it when people ascribe a certain label onto a new female character because reasons (ones that are usually misogynistic), I think it fits rather well in Sylvie’s case.

Enter The Mary Sue

Mary Sue is a term that gets thrown around a lot. To sum up the meaning in very simple terms, it refers to a character who is too perfect to be believable. Mary Sues are often author-self inserts in fiction, they’re usually the love interest for at least one male hero and it’s usually the male hero the author will admit to having a crush on, their scenes usually are presented much more descriptively than those of the other characters, the story will revolve around them often at the expense of the development and plots for the other characters of the story, and they’re presented as beautiful, powerful, intelligent, beautiful, special, strong, beautiful, and desirable. Yes, beautiful is on the list more than once, and it’s deliberate.

The term comes from an old Star Trek parody fanfic, and while it is usually applied to original characters in fan fiction, the term has been used to describe characters in canon media as well. Some examples of characters who have been described as Mary Sues would include Bella from the Twilight books, Felicity from the show Arrow, Jaenelle Angelline from Anne Bishop’s The Black Jewel novels, Sookie Stackhouse from True Blood, Rey from the last Star Wars trilogy, and Jean Grey from the X-Men comics. Note I do not necessarily agree that those characters are Mary Sues, I have merely heard these characters referred to as Mary Sues, and when I look at them objectively I can kind of see where the accusations come from. Some other terms that can apply are Creator’s Pet and of course Author Self-Insert. Not all Mary Sues are Author Self-Inserts, but a lot of them are. Also, not all characters who can be labeled Mary Sues are female, though they often are. The male version of a Mary Sue is called a Marty Stu, and a couple of characters I’ve seen get ascribed that label include Harry Potter, Daemon Sadi from Anne Bishop’s The Black Jewel novels, Edward from Twilight, and Red Hulk from Marvel Comics. Even Batman and Wolverine haven’t been immune from the Marty Stu stamp, although you can argue that it does apply in their cases especially depending on who’s writing them. Sometimes it is painfully obvious they are author self-inserts...the aforementioned Bella is a good example. Others, you can only speculate on. And while there are theories going around that Sylvie is someone’s self-insert, we don’t have definitive proof of that.

There are good arguments, however, for her being labeled a Mary Sue and Creator’s Pet.

First are her powers. In the show we are told that Sylvie taught herself magic, especially her ability to “enchant”, the power to get into the minds of others and manipulate them. The fact that she taught herself would indicate that her education and skill in using magic should be lacking, right? She should not be as good as, say, someone who learned magic from his foster mother who herself was taught by Asgardian witches?

Yet in the show, Sylvie not only runs circles around Loki magically wise, she even teaches him a few tricks. This is startlingly in contrast to the comics. Loki’s Sylvie is partially based on the character Sylvie Lushton from the Young Avengers, a bad guy who was once a normal girl whom Loki imbued with powers before his death at the hands of the Sentry during the events of 2010’s Siege storyline. In the comics, Loki not only gave Sylvie her powers, but he was the one who taught her how to use them. Now, of course things in the MCU are not going to follow the way things are in the comics. MCU Loki is nowhere near as old as comics Loki and has so far not demonstrated the ability to give other beings powers. And MCU Sylvie is a composite of Sylvie Lushton and Lady Loki, which is also problematic, but we’ll get to that.

But the point is that Sylvie had no training. Her magic is some improvised slapped-together stuff that at best she picked up here and there and at worst she just pulled out of her ass. Now, knowing that, we’re supposed to buy that she can mop the floor magically wise with someone who was formally trained by a sorceress? And that furthermore, she can school him as well?

To make up for her lack of experience and knowledge, Loki is nerfed. Power wise and intellectually wise, he is nerfed. In Thor and Avengers Loki is smart, well-spoken, and a master manipulator. At one point he is able to turn all of the Avengers against one another, and while his magic has never been anywhere near the level it was at in the comics pre-Siege (after his resurrection, he was powered down and is currently nowhere near the powerhouse he had been prior to 2011) he was able to pull off some impressive displays of skill nonetheless. Shape shifting, illusion casting, it was a good repertoire.

In Episode 3, however...well, he does use teleportation to some impressive affect during his fight with Sylvie, but he still doesn’t get the upperhand. And he should. Loki is a better trained fighter, better trained in sorcery, and realistically should have at the least managed to incapacitate his variant. He doesn’t however, because the moment he meets Sylvie his IQ drops about 20 points. He falls easily for her tricks, makes laughable plans, gets drunk and draws too much attention when he knows that is a bad idea, and manages to get them both stuck on a moon that will soon be dust courtesy of the rogue planet about to crash into it. Loki has made some blunders in the various MCU movies he’s been in, mostly due to his own arrogance and tendency to underestimate his foes, but he’s not that stupid. In fact, in The Dark World he screams at Thor and calls him an idiot for drawing attention to themselves by hijacking an elven ship and crashing into every column and statue within a fifty-foot radius.

Where exactly is that smart, calculating, more careful Loki we know from the films? He’s been transformed and dumbed down, in an attempt to prop Sylvie up. It’s a tired trope, making the male character a dumbass in order to make the female character look good. Well, I should say male-presenting and female-presenting characters in this case, but their supposed gender fluidity really is not represented well and it’s completely contradicted later on, but we’ll get to that.

Anyway, making the male character stupid in order to make the female character look better by comparison is not empowering. It’s insulting. It implies that women are not smart or capable enough to meet men on equal footing, that the only way we can shine is not by virtue of our own strengths, but merely by making us look better than the men.

She doesn’t just outshine Loki intellectually and power wise, she outshines him period. The show from Episode 3 on becomes about Sylvie. She is the show’s main focus, and Loki? He’s relegated to the role of supporting character in the series that’s named after him. Supporting character, and love interest. From Episode 3 on, the show might as well be called Sylvie.

Now, some people will say that since Sylvie is a Loki, the show was indeed focusing on Loki. The problem is, the show is very inconsistent as to whether or not Sylvie really is a Loki or a different person entirely. I will explain more later, but the writers seem to change Sylvie’s identity to suit whatever narrative they want to present to the audience, including the pre-Pixar Disney romance they foist upon us.

The Romance, and why some find it gross

One major characteristic of the Mary Sue is that she always draws the romantic and sexual interest of the main male character, who may or may not be a Marty Stu himself. Oftentimes he’s not, and Loki does not fit the criteria of a Marty Stu by any stretch of the imagination. These romances always happen fast with little to no buildup. There is no what writers of romance call “slow burn”, it’s just throw Mary at the male character, hook them up, and get the audience to buy it. Basically, it’s reminiscent of the romance stories in the Classical Era Disney animated films. Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella all fall madly in love with their princes within minutes of meeting them. There’s no getting to know each other, there is no preamble, there is no slow courtship, no real drama to speak of. It’s basically Love At First Sight or True Love. This trend continues even into the Disney Renaissance. In The Little Mermaid, Ariel is willing to make a deal with a witch to give up her fins for a prince she hasn’t even spoken to yet. He doesn’t even know she exists, and she leaves her home and family behind, gives up her voice, all for a mere shot at hooking up with him.

That’s not love, that’s lust. That’s hormones overruling your brain, and it’s an insulting trope, one that feminists have railed against for years. Disney has made a little progress. The movie Frozen took the mickey out of the Love At First Sight/True Love trope with the song “Love Is An Open Door” and the prince Anna wanting to marry turning out to be a major sleazebag who just wants to use her, but we still only have three Disney princesses (Elsa, Moana, and Merida) who have never had love interests and two (Anna and Rapunzel) whose love stories come close to being slow burns, out of 12 official Princesses. There’s still a long way to go, and boy is there a major step backwards in Loki.

In Episode 3, Loki fights Sylvie and they end up on Lamentis 1. Sylvie spends a good portion of the time insulting and trying to kill Loki, and Loki finds himself having to defend himself from her. That changes once they get on the train going to the Arc. After sneaking aboard the train using a disguise and a flimsy story, the two Lokis sit in a booth, where Loki proceeds to drink champagne. It is then that, out of nowhere, the conversation shifts from how Sylvie learned her powers to the topic of love.

Why? Why would you bring that up in conversation with someone who was doing her best to kill you a couple hours prior?

Then Loki makes things worse by asking Sylvie if she has a beau waiting for her. Why? It doesn’t make sense. The two of you are at each other’s throats, she’s done her best to kill you, neither of you trusts the other, and, completely out of left field, you decide to basically ask “So...are you single?”

Now, enemies to lovers is a trope that can work when done right. Typically, it’s a very subtle, slow progression that the audience witnesses over time in a novel, movie or television series. Weeks and even months will go by in the narrative during which the two people go from wanting each other dead to developing feelings for one another. There’s usually a “will they, won’t they period” that lasts for some time that’s full of teases and flirting before the couple does hook up and gives the audience the resolution. Done in this way, enemies to lovers can work.

This...this is not the right way to do enemies to lovers. Within a couple of hours Loki and Sylvie go from hatred and doing their damnedest to stabbing one another in the backs, to having a connection that causes a nexus event?

By the way, that nexus event makes no sense. In Episode 2, it is established that it is impossible to create a nexus event in an apocalypse. It is why Sylvie was able to avoid capture by the TVA for so long. In fact, just minutes prior to the two of them almost dying in Episode 4, Sylvie flat-out says that she figured out that she needed to hide in apocalypses because she discovered she didn’t create a nexus event when she hid in them.

Now the two of them are able to create a nexus event in the midst of an apocalypse? Why? Their “connection” isn’t going to lead to any consequences...they were about to die. No one else need never have known about the “moment” the two of them shared. It’s very confusing and the only purpose it really serves is to paint Loki and Sylvie as soulmates, which doesn’t make sense in the context of the show. The concept of soulmates is that for every person, there is someone out there they are predestined to be with. Loki is a show that, at the core of it, is about rejecting predestination and embracing free will. In that context, the idea of soulmates is ludicrous and contradictory to the message that we make our own destiny. This is why True Love is unrealistic, and I hate to break it to you romantics out there, but Love At First sight does not exist.

Infatuation At First Sight exists, but that is not Love, no matter what your hormones are telling you. Love takes time to evolve, and it takes work to maintain. It sure as hell doesn’t happen after less than 12 hours of knowing each other, during which a huge chunk of time was devoted to trying to manipulate, outsmart, and murder the person you’re supposedly in love with. No one falls in love in less than 12 hours, period, unless it’s a Classical Era Disney animated movie. They basically turned Loki into a big Disney Romance trope. I have a very hard time buying that Loki, who we have established is emotionally stunted and closed off, would form a love connection in just a few hours, especially with someone who was doing her best to murder him in that timespan.

That is not the only reason this relationship is problematic. The term “Selfcest” has been thrown around, and a lot of defenders of this particular ship claim that the term was very recently made up in social media for the sole purpose of badmouthing this particular romance. That is not the case. Selfcest is a term that has existed among fiction writers for years, it’s just that more people have recently become aware of it thanks to this show. The trope has been used and referred to in various works of fiction, especially in fantasy and science fiction where cloning, alternative universes, and magic occur. A lot of the insults I get from people who can’t stand that I don’t like the romance basically go along the lines of saying selfcest doesn’t exist. No, it doesn’t...in reality. But this isn’t reality, is it? It’s fiction. It’s a fictional world where such a thing could be possible, and even in works where it’s not possible it’s often alluded to.

In A Song Of Ice And Fire, we have the infamous twincest relationship going on between Cersei and Jamie Lannister, and it is heavily implied that sleeping with her brother is the closest that Cersei can get to banging herself and that is why she does it. Jamie is basically everything she feels she should have been and was denied due to being born a woman. In fact, in later books when he reunites with her after having been away from King’s Landing for over a year, during which time he’s grown a beard and shaved his head, Cersei no longer finds him as attractive since they no longer look as much alike.

And with advances in cloning, selfcest might be possible in the future. We already have sex robots, and people with money are capable of making those robots look like themselves. There is nothing stopping them from doing it.

Knowing all of this, the argument of “selfcest doesn’t exist!” falls flat. And it especially falls flat when you’re referring to a fictional universe where a large purple man once killed off half the population of said universe with a snap of his fingers, where scientists turn into giant green monsters, the Norse gods not only exist but regularly interact with people on Earth, and there’s such a thing as a Sorcerer Supreme.

As I have said, the show has been rather inconsistent in stating what exactly Sylvie’s identity is. One moment, we are told Sylvie is a Loki and that she and Loki are the same person. Mobius says it, Kang says it multiple times, Judge Renslayer says it, the director and the writers state it in interviews. But then in the next breath, they contradict it by saying that she’s not a Loki, she’s Sylvie and a different person.

You can’t have it both ways. Which is it? Either she’s a Loki, or she’s not. The narrative is very confusing and it changes depending on how they want us to see Sylvie, especially in relation to her romance with Loki. It’s so much easier to avoid the selfcest/incest accusations when you can say they are different people. But then they say they’re the same person. Make up your minds!

Since the show first established that Sylvie is a Loki, I’m going with that. Especially since we saw a bit of her backstory. She grew up in Asgard as a member of the royal family, which means she had Odin as a father, Frigga as mother, and Thor as brother. She may or may not have the same DNA as Loki. We never got confirmation either way, and there are people who argue that they don’t to which I have to ask: How do you know? The show never tells us! “Oh, well, there’s Alligator Loki, are you going to say he has the same DNA as well?” Well, we are never told how exactly Alligator Loki came to be. Is he actually an alligator, or is he Loki who somehow got permanently stuck when he shapeshifted? People tend to forget that he can do that. Ragnarok established that he can turn into a snake, and a deleted scene actually had the childhood story go that Loki turned into a rug to cover a hole in the ground and then dumped Thor into it. There is the scene where Doctor Strange drops Loki through a portal, and Thor is left poking at a business card, and it is clear that for a moment he thinks that Loki turned into that. We know Loki can shapeshift, so Alligator Loki can very well have the same DNA. We just don’t know, because the show never explains it for the same reason the show cut out the scenes with Throg fighting Loki...to devote more screentime to Sylki.

Even if they don’t have the same DNA, it’s still established that they are the same person, they have the same family, they’re both the God/dess of Mischief, and even Sylvie herself acknowledges that she is a Loki despite the fact that she changed her name. So selfcest very much applies here, and a good argument can be made that selfcest is the ultimate in incest...after all, there isn’t anyone else you’re more related to than yourself. It is very understandable, therefore, that a lot of people would be very, very uncomfortable with such a relationship. Having the same DNA would merely be the icing on the very gross cake.

Furthermore, just because selfcest does not exist in reality does not mean someone can’t find the concept distasteful. “It’s not real!” “It’s just fiction!” Yes, and people are allowed to have their own feelings and opinions on fiction. If they find the idea of selfcest hard to stomach, that’s their prerogative and you really have no right to tell them they are wrong for feeling that way. They should not have to justify to anyone why they feel that way either. No one owes you an explanation for why they find real world incest or cannibalism distasteful, so they don’t owe you an explanation for this.

“Well, of course Loki would fall for himself...he’s a narcissist!” Is he though? Is he really? Having dealt with my fair share of narcissists in my life, I have to wonder if the fans who say that, along with the writers, know what a narcissist really is.

Is Loki a narcissist?

Bringing up Cersei Lannister again, the novels she appears in establishes that she is an extreme narcissist. She sleeps with her twin brother because it’s the closest she can come to sleeping with herself, and she desires to do that because she is a narcissist. A narcissist is someone whose personality is defined by an inflated sense of self-importance, troubled relationships, lack of empathy for others, and an excessive deep-seated need for attention and admiration. It’s a very simplistic definition, and there are plenty of YouTube videos devoted to delving into narcissists into more depth, as well as videos on how to cope with the aftermath of abuse at the hands of narcissists. Narcissists are so devoted to themselves that they ignore the needs and the feelings of those in their lives, which often results in abusive behavior. There are entire support groups that exist for victims of narcissists.

At first glance, one can see why some might consider Loki a narcissist. He does engage in some pretty selfish behavior, he goes to great lengths to get attention, his relationships to his family are indeed fraught with drama, and he seems to have a pretty overinflated ego. He even goes so far as to write a play featuring himself as the central character, and build a giant golden statue of himself after taking over Asgard in the guise of Odin. But really, is his ego truly that big? Or he is overcompensating for his self-hatred and self-disgust?

Loki suffered quite the emotional blow when he found out his true heritage, a revelation that shook him to his very core. Of course, his relationship with his father suffered as a result...the man lied to him for his entire life. Their relationship really was not that great even before that since Odin found it easier to relate to Thor, who was more like him in personality, than to Loki, who was more cerebral and quieter. Loki’s relationship to Frigga fared much better. He’s quick to forgive her involvement in covering up the truth about his parentage, and it is obvious that they are close. Even his relationship with Thor prior to the events of the movie is not all that bad, the two brothers are affectionate and playful, and when Loki interrupts Thor’s coronation, it’s not just for the sake of creating trouble, but to postpone Thor taking the crown for another little while because he is not fit to rule. At the time Thor had yet to go through his character development arc on Earth and he was still an overly arrogant, bloodthirsty, elitist douchebag, so Loki really had a good point.

A true narcissist would have done what Loki did just for the sake of making life difficult for Thor. Also, he would have done it because he wanted the throne. Loki states repeatedly that he never wanted to rule. A true narcissist would have been all smiles about taking the throne instead of being reluctant about it as Loki was when Frigga handed him Gungnir.

Throughout the films, and in the first episode of the series, we see that Loki does indeed love his family and is capable of feeling guilt over the things that he does to them, intentionally or not. Narcissists typically don’t feel remorse. As far as they are concerned, they are perfect and can do no wrong, so they have nothing to feel bad about. If they hurt you, it’s because you deserved it. You shouldn’t have provoked their ire.

Loki feels bad for getting Frigga killed, and then later on Odin. Then he is in tears when Odin dies, and later at the mere thought of never seeing Thor again when the two brothers talk in an elevator on Sakaar. Those are not the actions of someone who is incapable of loving anyone but himself, as I’ve seen so many people claim about him. And the fact that he sacrificed himself to save his brother also kind of kills the whole “narcissist” narrative.

In Episode 1, Loki breaks down and confesses to Mobius that he doesn’t like hurting people. He does it because it’s part of the façade, and admits that he sees himself as weak. A few episodes later, he admits to a memory illusion Sif that he craves attention “because I’m a narcissist” and admits to being afraid of being alone. That is far more self-reflection than a typical narcissist is capable of in my experience. As I said, narcissists tend to think they are perfect. A true narcissist would never admit to having any flaws, and sure as hell would never admit that they are a narcissist. As far as the true narcissist is concerned, if you find them flawed in any way, that’s on you. The narcissist has no need for self-reflection because they honestly see nothing wrong with themselves, and believe that they don’t need to change...it’s everyone else who does.

A good real-life example from my past is a former friend I’ll call D. D was a self-proclaimed brat who was quite proud of the fact that she could be difficult to be in a relationship with and tended to go through men like tissue paper. She was demanding, self-centered, extremely jealous, manipulative, and prone to wild mood swings. She could and did go from zero to insane at the drop of a hat. In the time I knew her, she left a string of burnt guys behind, and according to her it was because they just weren’t man enough to handle her. She also left behind a string of broken former friends, to the point where there really needed to be a support group for former friends of D who suddenly had her turn them into Public Enemy Number 1 when they either started taking attention away from D, or...well, that was it really. As I said, she was a very jealous person and had a chronic need to be the center of attention, especially if there were men around. Anyway, instead of working on herself to become less self-involved, self-absorbed, and more empathetic, she double downed on her abrasiveness and constant need for attention until she finally wore the poor man down and he either ghosted her or outright dumped her. She never broke up with them, preferring to keep them around for as long as they were willing in order to toy with them as a cat does with a mouse. I tried to talk to her about her horrible behavior, but instead of taking my constructive criticism and maybe using it to make some needed changes, she completely turned on me and did her best to make my life hell until I finally cut her out of it. I learned two things: Narcissists don’t want help because they don’t feel they need it and they are never going to change as a result, and never, ever try to confront a narcissist. It’ll only end badly.

A more famous example? Former US President Donald Trump. I won’t get into that, because really all you need to do is perform a quick Google search to see what all he’s done and witness his narcissism on full display. But really, place him side by side with Loki. Do you see any similarities at all? Maybe on the surface, but when you go deeper...no. Loki is not a narcissist. He’s capable of deep self-reflection, owns his faults, is capable of loving others, and feels remorse. I would argue that anyone who says he is a narcissist, either does not know the character, or hasn’t ever actually dealt with a narcissist in real life, to which I can only say: Lucky you.

I honestly would argue that calling Loki a narcissist is actually doing a disservice to victims of abuse from actual narcissists.

What about Sylvie? Well, in contrast to Loki who does show remorse while Mobius is playing that “This Is Your Life” reel for him, Sylvie shows no remorse or regret. She knows that the TVA agents she kills are as much victims as she is. They are innocent variants who were kidnapped from Earth and forced to work for the TVA after having their memories wiped. She knows this, yet the first time we see her she burns a bunch of TVA agents alive, and she just stands there watching as they scream in agony. In the next episode she says right out that she’s “having some fun” while possessing the body of C-90 and murdering more agents. She is not at all sorry about doing what she did, and we’re supposed to be understanding since she was kidnapped as a child. Okay, but the entire TVA didn’t do that. The agents she kills didn’t personally kidnap her. The only one we see who was directly involved in that is Renslayer. Sylvie “did what she had to do”, fine. But she doesn’t feel bad about it, at all. The flashback to her as a child takes great pains to try to show us what a good person she is when she cries out “Help him!” as another prisoner is being beaten, but I guess she grew out of it.

We don’t know if Sylvie has any other narcissistic traits besides lack of remorse because, well, the show really doesn’t do much to show her personality. Other than killing people, trying to kill Loki, and then flirting with Loki, we just don’t really see much to her. It’s another trait of a Mary Sue. Mary Sues often have bland, one-dimensional personalities. After all, their only purpose is usually to serve as love interests for one or more male characters. Mary Sues break the “show, don’t tell” rule by having the other characters verbally inform us about their traits, usually while singing their praises, but we don’t actually see those traits in the Mary Sue herself.

Loki calls Sylvie “amazing”, but how amazing is she, really? She kills people she knows are victims, she endangers the timeline just to sneak into the TVA, and then she kills Kang despite knowing that there is a very good chance that doing so could unleash something far, far worse than him. Then again, it doesn’t have to make sense when you’re pushing an unwanted and unasked for romance on an audience who was expecting a scifi show, not a romance.

I have spoken in a few places about this. Romance is fine, but in a show that blatantly places itself in the scifi genre, it really should only be the background, not center stage. When I expressed this opinion, I got accused of being dismissive of an essential part of the human experience. Well, first of all, congratulations: You just invalidated the existence of people on the asexual and aromantic spectrums, not to mention people who are celibate by choice. Second, that is why we have the romance genre. To tell stories centered around romance. I like romance, I read romance novels, and I sometimes write romantic fiction. But there are some places where it just is not appropriate.

There are people who say that adding romance makes things more interesting. Nope, in those cases it’s just a smokescreen, something used to hide plot holes and distract us from just how empty the story really is. Writers like to say that if you need a romance to make things more interesting, then you really don’t have much of a story in the first place. And sadly, Loki does have some plot holes. The nexus event on Lamentis is a good example, and the romance is definitely used to distract us from that. People were so focused on “oh wow, they’re having a moment, they’re soulmates!” that they didn’t think “waitaminute...didn’t they say that nexus events can’t occur in apocalypses?”

We really did not need a romance in Loki. Period. It was unnecessary, it was distracting, a lot of people found it disturbing, and it actively hurt a marginalized group.

Loki Is A Queer Icon!...maybe

I am not going to say that the relationship between Loki and Sylvie is not a bisexual one. A bisexual relationship is a bisexual relationship regardless of whether or not the person the bisexual person is with is the opposite sex. Saying otherwise is biphobic. Biphobic people in both the straight and the queer communities have been excluding bisexual people who happen to be in opposite sex relationships for years because apparently one stops being bisexual once they get into a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. This is horseshit. I’ve been in relationships with CIS men, did I stop being attracted to other men, women, nonbinary, genderfluid, agender, and other genderqueer people? No. No, I didn’t, because while I was entangled, I was not dead. Heterosexual people don’t stop being attracted to other members of the opposite sex when they are in relationships, it’s no different with queer people.

So, stop saying that Loki and Sylvie are not a bisexual relationship. You’re not doing us any favors at all, and in fact you’re only helping the biphobes who want to kick us out of Pride and other queer spaces for daring to date members of the opposite sex.

I will address the “Bit of both” line however. In Episode 3, Loki has that response to Sylvie’s questioning about whether there had been any would-be princesses or princes in his life. Again, a conversation that comes out of nowhere. She stated outright that she didn’t trust him, clearly wanted him dead, and now she’s asking if he’s single. Whatever.

Anyway, people went nuts when Loki answered “A bit of both”. It was confirmation that Loki was bisexual, it was celebrated on social media...and it is really biphobic and Kate Herron, who is bisexual herself, really should have known better.

Biphobic people have long tried to sow division between the bi and trans communities (unsurprisingly, biphobia and transphobia tend to go hand-in-hand) by saying that the concept of being bisexual is transphobic. “Bi” means two, ergo bisexual people are only attracted to two genders, specifically CIS men and CIS women. It never occurs to anyone that the “two genders” a bisexual person could be attracted to could be, say, women (and yes, I include trans women in that, since they are in fact women, get over it) and non-binary people, or agender and gender-fluid people, it’s always CIS men and CIS women. This despite the fact that the definition of bisexual has been “attraction to more than one gender” since long before the Bisexual Manifesto was put out in 1990.

Some people have tried to remedy this by adopting the moniker of “pansexual” instead, which A) is basically reinforcing what biphobes are saying about bisexuals and creating even more division and B) doesn’t just mean “attraction to trans people as well, I’m not transphobic, I promise!” “Pansexual” is not interchangeable with “bisexual”. Pansexual is attraction to all genders. Bisexual means attraction to more than one gender, but not necessarily to all genders. You can have a bisexual person, for instance, who is attracted to all genders except for men. If you are attracted to more than one gender, but not to all genders, you are bisexual, and labeling yourself pansexual is lying and basically caving in to the biphobes.

I’m not trying to police what people call themselves...if you want to use the two terms interchangeably, if you want to call yourself bisexual, or pansexual, it’s fine. But just evaluate the reasons why. Are you calling yourself pansexual because you really think you can be, or are you just calling yourself that out of fear of being labeled transphobic? The latter, in my opinion, is not a really good reason, and it only helps deliver the biphobic message that bisexual people are transphobic.

So, by saying “a bit of both”, Loki is really helping to reinforce that biphobic assertion that bisexual people are attracted just to CIS men and CIS women. It’s disappointing, but it is Disney so I suppose that is the best we can expect for now. It just shows that Disney really has a long way to go.

What’s more problematic is the supposed genderfluid representation. Now, I am a CIS woman. As such, I feel unqualified to really say that the representation is shitty and fluidphobic. However, if I’m not qualified to say that it is, then Kate Herron and the writers are unqualified to say that it isn’t. Rule of thumb: If members of a marginalized group are telling you that you did a poor job of representing them and that you are being transphobic or fluidphobic, instead of ignoring and dismissing their concerns like a good portion of the population already does, it’s a really good idea to listen to what they are saying and learn how you can do better.

There have been some genderfluid and trans people who expressed that they liked the show, and good for them. But I have seen a lot of very valid criticisms and concerns from genderfluid and trans people about the representation on the show, and I think they really should be listened to. Kate, you and I are queer, but we are still CIS women. Ergo, we have no say in whether or not the way you attempted to present Loki’s gender fluidity is transphobic. If genderfluid people say it’s fluidphobic or trans people say it’s transphobic, then it is indeed fluidphobic/transphobic. To say otherwise is gaslighting a marginalized community who already faces gaslighting on a daily basis.

I will touch on a couple of things.

First, in Episode 5, Loki asks a bunch of his variants if they have ever encountered a female version of themselves, a question that is met with varying levels of incredulousness and even disgust. If Loki was truly genderfluid, this question wouldn’t have been asked. Genderfluid means the person shifts genders along the spectrum. Loki does this in the comics. Comicbook Loki switches between masculine and feminine presenting on the drop of a dime, especially in his current incarnation. Loki in the MCU we are told is also genderfluid, and should also be able to hop along the gender spectrum on a whim. There should not be a “female variant” therefore, since they are all the same gender. There could be a female presenting variant, but that is not the same thing. They would still be all genderfluid in that case. Also, Sylvie’s nexus event would not have been “being born the Goddess of Mischief”. Okay, the show never actually says that is the nexus event that led to her being arrested, but it heavily implies it. If Sylvie is a Loki, and as a Loki is genderfluid, her being the “Goddess” of Mischief should never have been an issue since they can change genders anyway.

Second, making Lady Loki a separate person is problematic. A lot of genderfluid people felt that this move invalidated their identity by basically showing that the same person cannot indeed be different genders along the spectrum. I don’t feel I’m totally qualified to really get into this. I will just say that if you’re going to write a genderfluid character, maybe at least get an actual genderfluid person to advise in the writing room.

Third, there is a transphobic movement called trans exclusionary radical feminism. You might have heard of it. Unfortunately, it is a very widespread movement that has done a lot of harm to the trans community, successfully blocking funding to organizations that help trans people, blocking laws that would benefit trans people, and the movement includes celebrities like Graham Linehan and JK Rowling.

One of the weapons they like to use against trans women is the concept of “autogynephilia”. It is basically the sexual fetish of becoming aroused from thinking of oneself as a woman. Many, many of these transphobic “feminists” love to say that trans women are merely men who have this particular sexual fetish.

It’s bullshit of course. Maybe there is a small segment of the male population that has that fetish, but trans women are not included in that. For trans women, things like dressing as women, changing their names, having state and federal issued IDs that say they are female, and being able to use the restrooms and change rooms that match the gender they actually are as opposed to the one they were assigned at birth is not a matter of sexual arousal. It’s a matter of making their external realities match their internal ones. It’s a matter of validation of their identities as women. Sexual gratification has nothing to do with it.

Now, Loki is not trans, but genderfluid people do tend to fall under the trans umbrella. We have Loki, a supposedly genderfluid individual and masculine presenting, falling head over heels in love with a feminine presenting version of himself. Maybe it’s just me, but it just seems like a form of autogynephilia to me.

Way to go, Kate...you just gave the TERFs more ammo.

One more note: At one point, Kate tweeted a list of the different Loki emojis, and “jokingly” included #FiretruckLoki with an emoji of a firetruck. Kate, you do realize that a “joke” transphobes love to harp on is that they can identify as an attack helicopter, right?

It’s his way of learning self-love!

That is not how you learn self-love.

First, the people who are making this argument often contradict themselves by then saying that Sylvie is a different person. Again, make up your minds. Either Sylvie is the same person as Loki, or she’s not. You can’t have it both ways, and you can’t continue to change the narrative to fit whatever it is you want to shove down the audience’s throats.

Second, romantic love and self-love are two different things entirely. Loki isn’t feeling self-love with Sylvie, he’s feeling romantic love. That’s not learning self-love. That's narcissism, and it’s character regression in his case. He’s supposed to be evolving past being a self-centered, egotistical shitweasel, and falling in love with a variant of himself makes him, as Mobius put it, “a seismic narcissist”. It’s not character development.

Third, this argument tends to come in the same breath as saying that Loki is a narcissist so of course he would fall for a variant of himself. If Loki is a narcissist though, why would he need to learn self-love? Narcissists already love themselves, that is the very definition of the word. If Loki needs to learn self-love, that would imply that he actually hates himself, which is the opposite of narcissism. Again, the writers and the fans who make these arguments when they feel the need to defend this relationship need to make up their minds. Either he’s a narcissist and therefore already loves himself too much, or he hates himself and needs to learn to love himself. It’s once again changing the narrative to fill a plothole.

Fourth, the whole learning self-love and trust narrative is completely thrown out the window in Episode 6 when Sylvie decides to toy with Loki’s emotions, using his feelings for her against him by kissing him as a distraction so she could grab Kang’s temp pad and toss Loki back to the TVA. To Sylvie, her revenge was more important than the bond she had with him. The move basically set Loki’s progress back several steps. What little progress he made anyway.

TL:DR, is there hope for Season 2?

Whew, this went on for a while, didn’t it? Told you I had a lot to say.

As I have said, if you liked the first season of Loki and think I am completely full of shit, that’s fine and it’s your prerogative. More power to you.

But, and this is a huge but, that does not give you the right to harass and bully people who did not like it.

I have witnessed horrible things from both sides of the now split Loki fandom on social media. Harassment and even death threats towards the creators. Telling people who don’t like the Loki and Sylvie relationship that they need to drink bleach. Homophobic attacks. Gatekeeping.

There’s constructive criticism and sharing your opinions, and then there is...this.

Both sides need to chill.

Anyway.

Even though Kate Herron has left the show, Michael Waldron is still the showrunner and as such I am not altogether optimistic for Season 2. I would like to see more emphasis on Loki himself for that season. Yes, it’s a novel thought, wanting a show that is called Loki to actually be about Loki, but here we are.

I would like to see actual character development in Loki rather than the old “true love transforms bad boy and conquers all” trope. There is a reason Disney has started to abandon that trope in their animated movies. They’ve been getting dragged about it for decades.

If Sylvie must return, there needs to be some actual consistency surrounding her character. The show needs to decide if she is a Loki or not and stick with whichever one they decide. And seriously, no more romance. Frankly, after what she pulled in Episode 6, I will be severely disappointed if the writers have Loki crawling back to her. That would make him pathetic, and Loki deserves better.

Really, Loki does not need a romance, period. He’s too emotionally immature, he has a lot of character growth to go through, and a romance would do nothing but be a distraction and an impediment to that growth. Anyone who got married too young can confirm that it is important to learn more about yourself and figure yourself out before you even think of getting involved with another person, who should not be your whole world. The Loki and Sylvie romance was reminding me of Classic Disney in another not-good way in that the two of them, especially on Loki’s side, were starting to revolve around one another and that does not make for a healthy relationship. Again, turning Loki into a Disney Prince (or, seeing as how he’s supposed to be genderfluid, Princess). Stop it.

Again, the romance was a smokescreen. It was a distraction from just how thin the plot was. Please, for the love of G-d, give more focus to the actual plot.

Do some research and talk to some psychologists for healthy ways Loki can “learn self-love" and develop as a character. If Ragnarok Loki can do it without relying on a romance with a variant with himself, then surely TVA Loki can pull it off.

Speaking of talking to people, listen to the concerns of the trans and genderfluid fans. Listen, talk to them, maybe get a couple in the writer’s room. CIS people should not write genderfluid people, and this season is a good example of why.

Please remember that Loki is not an idiot. Yes, he has pulled some fast ones and hasn’t been the greatest planner, but he is not downright stupid like he was in season 1.

And...really that’s all I have. As I have said, this thesis really wasn’t about making suggestions to the creators because I seriously doubt they will ever even see this. This was more less me screaming into the void, venting because I was that upset about what I saw as character assassination happening to one of my favorite characters. Keeping all of this in was proving to be bad for my blood pressure.

I am attached to the character, have been for years. Loki is just one character in the MCU who I love, who I want to see done right. I had been looking forward to his solo series for a very long time, and the disappointment I felt was something that I just couldn’t keep in. I kept my mouth shut when they killed off Tony Stark for no reason other than that Ronnie Downey, Jr. didn't want to renew his contract. I didn’t say anything at the Russo Brothers’ “happy ending” for Steve Rogers, even though I feel it made no sense and is a massive plot hole.

What they did to Loki, however...I couldn’t keep silent.

#loki series negativity #anti sylki

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refinedbuffoonery · 3 years

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@improvidus thanks for the tag boo <3

1) How many works do you have on AO3? 14

2) What’s your total AO3 word count? 106,078

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? I’ve only finished + published MacGyver fics, but I have a whole folder of other unfinished stuff, primarily for Sarah J Maas’ three book series (Throne of Glass, ACOTAR, Crescent City).

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Riley + Sunglasses + Undercover (aka my claim to fame lol)

Quarantine Moments

Looking Through A Window

I + Can’t + Lose + You

Fridge Meeting

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Out of my published ones...R+S+U (unbelievable that I didn’t get cancelled for ending it the way I did lmao). But in a million years when I finally finish it, Broken Like Me won’t exactly have a happy ending (it’ll be bittersweet at best...I know because I wrote the ending first).

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? I+C+L+U has a good ending, so do all of the holiday fics I wrote last year. But I think the most satisfying happy ending will be the ending to Flawless (I already wrote this ending too).

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written? I don’t do crossovers! Honestly I don’t read them either. I think they’re off-putting and usually fairly OOC, but if the characters all exist in the same universe (or it’s just written really damn well) then a crossover is more palatable for me.

8) Do you write smut? If so what kind? Hell fucking yeah I do. The emotionally charged, very plot-relevant, little-to-no cringey vocabulary kind. But not much for this fandom because the audience for it is very small. But for the fantasy romance book fandoms I (mostly) lurk in??? Definitely.

9) Do you respond to comments, why or why not? I always try to! Except sometimes y’all make predictions that are a little too accurate and I have to avoid responding to those comments so I don’t accidentally spoil something (yikes).

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic? Nope (thank god). Which is a good thing, because I’m not actually as nice as y’all think I am, and I’d throw (virtual) hands.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of! On the flip side, I’ve definitely accidentally stolen lines/phrases from people. Every once in a while I’ll reread a fic and go “THAT’S WHERE I GOT THAT FROM!!!!! whoops.”

12) Have you ever had a fic translated? Does asking people to translate like 3 lines of dialogue for Flawless into French count lol? (real answer: no)

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before? Listen. I swear to you that this pirate AU exists. We have a whole chapter written. I have a good 50% or so of the plot outlined in my head and in our shared google doc. However none of us have worked on it in months so......

14) What’s your all time favorite ship? Not to out myself as the kid who was obsessed with Percy Jackson but....PERCABETH. They really invented love. Second place is Rowaelin (from the Throne of Glass series by Sarah J Maas), and third place is MacRiley (no shade to my Team Spy Siblings friends though....tbh if the show hadn’t set them up romantically I never would’ve even considered it).

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? That aliens fic I’ve teased for a solid year. The goal was to see if I could write an episode of the show (which I totally think I could), but I just don’t have a plot for this one. Only the resolution and some comic relief. But the basic premise is that Mac, Riley, and maybe Bozer (aka our resident nerds) get sent to examine a UFO that crash-landed in the middle of fucking nowhere, which of course sends everyone down the rabbit hole of alien theories, but the UFO ends up being something.....significantly less cool. If any of you gen writers want in on this, hit me up and we can co-write it.

16) What are your writing strengths? DIALOGUE. FORESHADOWING. also filling in the nuances of a plot once I have the bare bones in place.

17) What are your writing weaknesses? Brainstorming said bare bones of a plot lmao. And describing settings is the bane of my existence.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? Super dope as long as a) the reader can understand what’s happening via context clues or brief translation in the main language (presumably English) b) it’s used to develop the plot/character(s) in some way, i.e. a spy’s helpful skill or part of someone’s cultural background.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for? MacGyver is the first (and only) fandom I’ve finished and published fics for. Everything else (many of which I started pre-Mac) isn’t developed enough to necessarily count.

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? FLAWLESS. But I will say that I’m far more attached to LTAW than I ever could’ve expected going into it. So.....both?

Tagging: goddammit idk I wasn’t paying attention to who already got tagged. so if you’re reading this and you write fic consider yourself tagged. <3

#tag game

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galacticlamps · 3 years

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Tagged by @the--highlanders ! Thanks!

How many works do you have on AO3?

What’s your total AO3 word count?

76,200

(oh what a nice even number - I should try to mess that up as soon as possible, shouldn’t I?)

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Aw man is this intentionally worded to be really hard to answer? I get that it says ‘written’ and not ‘posted’ but then what constitutes a ‘fandom?’ I definitely wrote fics for stuff I was interested in long before I even knew the word ‘fic’ - I did it throughout my childhood, and then in high school, and while I didn’t do it as much in college, it still happened from time to time. So a lot of the books/movies/tv shows/plays/musicals I wrote things for aren’t really fandoms, and frankly, I had to check my old folder just now to even remember some of them existed. I’ll just list the ones that I know for sure had fandoms, since that’s more fun (and embarrassing), right?

Obviously Doctor Who, classic and modern, Torchwood, Sherlock Holmes (ironically more of these seem to be about the books, but yes, I will admit, some for that tv show too), Les Mis, a couple different Marvel comics & movies, Good Omens, hell, I even found a Night Vale fic in there just now.

And I know there are other older things not even in that folder, some of which never made it to a computer at all, so if I had to ballpark a number I’d probably say around 25ish but really, who knows?

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Across the Gap

On the Spot

Expectations

Shards of Memories & Fragments of Glass

Itemized

(this was fun, I’d never noticed Ao3 even had a stats page until now lol)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to! Sometimes I take a long time to do so but for the most part, I usually get around to it. The rare exception would be if I first saw the comment when I was super busy/distracted and then felt like way too much time passed before I noticed it again, that it might be awkward if I said something at that point.

I do genuinely enjoy hearing what people think, but I’m also weirdly terrified of making anyone feel like they have to reply to my comments. I know that’s probably a little strange, but it’s actually a large part of why I made this Ao3 account in the first place - my original one, from high school, is followed by some long-time friends of mine who aren’t interested in this fandom, some of whom are involved in art & writing professionally. The thought of anyone like that reading something I wrote out of friendliness or even just curiosity and potentially having to pretend they liked it for the same reasons stressed me tf out, so I like having this virtually anonymous one because I can relax knowing that anyone who reads or interacts with something I wrote has probably done so only because they wanted to, rather than feeling obligated, and there’s no pressure on them to be nice to me about it if anything I write or post annoys them - so I really hope nobody who does just know me as an anonymous blog has ever worried about offending me by not replying to something, trust me, I’m perfectly happy with it!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don’t think I’ve really written any angsty endings? I guess the answer would have to be Reckless just because it involves the characters arguing about sad/weighty things and there isn’t really any solution to those issues - but even then I think I ended it with a kind of acceptance that stops it from really qualifying as angst? I also set it in the the same universe as other fics, so maybe that doesn’t even count as an ending? Am I that bad at ending things on angst? Lol

Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Obviously none of the fics I’ve posted are crossovers but I’m trying to think now if any of my WIP’s are - I’ve definitely poached setting/premise ideas from other media, but in terms of actual crossovers . . . I’ve got a few cross-era or cross-Doctor, a few involving Torchwood, but that’s already the same universe, so the only thing that’d qualify as a true crossover would be some vague pieces of a fic where Jamie, Zoe, and Two end up on the Enterprise, since I think the 60s series of Star Trek and Dr Who feel kind of compatible, don’t they? In fact, aren’t there like officially licensed crossover comics or something? Or did I make that up? Idk, and the ideas are very loose, so it’s not much of a WIP either

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope, never

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I’ve never written smut, but I’m wondering if it’s possible that could change soon. There’s a longish multi-chapter fic I’ve been working on for a frankly embarrassing amount of time, and the plot does call for a sex scene at one point towards the end, but I can’t seem to make up my mind on how - uh, I guess the word is explicit? - it should get. I know I could easily do a fade to black/implication thing, but it’s kind of a source of contention and anxiety for the characters, so to skip over writing the actual scene and just revisit them afterwards rings of “and they slept together and now everything’s fine!” which feels kinda cheap to me - in this context, anyway - and not the right payoff for a long fic that’s otherwise more of an interpersonal drama/slightly a period piece, if I had to place it in a genre. I feel like my aversion to actually writing the scene might just be prudishness I should get over, or maybe just self-doubt, because I know I’d rather have a well-written, funny, character-development-supporting sex scene than nothing at all, but since I’ve never had any interest in writing a scene like that before, I don’t know if I can do it well, and I also don’t want to ruin a fic I’m otherwise proud of by doing it badly... ugh I have to figure this out

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I seriously doubt it

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

What’s your all time favorite ship?

I mean, it’s gotta be Two & Jamie. I’ve shipped things before with varying levels of investment, but I’ve never been able to use the term ‘otp’ in a literal sense until I came across them, and now it’s already basically gone out of fashion, go figure!

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I’m not sure if I have one? My WIP doc is huge, but I don’t actually intend to get around to finishing everything in it, so I’d like to think that anything I’ve currently singled out to complete can actually get done.

That said, I do have a few AU’s that I don’t really plan to finish, but it might be cool if I could. Two of them are for all the main + some supporting characters of the Second Doctor’s era - one’s a modern day school teachers AU, and the other is a typical fantasy/fairy tale AU. Another is just Two/Jamie, based on Doctor Faustus (specifically the Marlowe play version) but right now there are two different versions of the ending coexisting in my head. I’ve written parts of scenes & some gen. backstory for all of those ideas, but I don’t know if I’ll ever try to finish them, or what form a finished product would even take - a series of one-shots set in the same universe? one long multi-chapter fic with some kind of overarching plot? And the amount of context/worldbuilding a big AU like these would require might not make them very appealing fics for people to read, so maybe it is better if I just keep them to myself, since in my head I already know what’s going on in those worlds lol.

What are your writing strengths?

I honestly don’t know. I haven’t had a creative writing class since middle school, and since then I’ve only ever shown creative writing to others in a fandom context, so it’s been a while since I’ve discussed it or gotten critical feedback. I suppose when I work in other arts or even academic writing contexts, people usually say I’m kind of insightful or at least detail oriented, which might just be another way of saying I overthink things, but I like to imagine I’m decent at finding little points of interest to expand upon.

What are your writing weaknesses?

If you’ve read this far I feel like you must know what I’m about to say: I do not know how to be concise.

Usually when I’m writing a fic, I put down the dialogue first on its own, leaving out the action of the scene and whatever plot/context led there, even if I’ve already figured all of that out. But then when I go to add those things in, they’re always longer than I wanted them to be. I don’t mind writing something long, but I don’t want my fics to be a slog to get through either, and there can be a point at which the stuff I’ve added for context overwhelms the stuff that I wanted the fic to be about in the first place, so it becomes a structural/proportion issue too. I haven’t completely given up on any fics because of this yet, but there’s one I’ve been struggling with for a couple months now - probably because I’m even second-guessing myself on which scenes need to be written out and which can just be referenced like a recap. Hopefully I figure that one out soon.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

((this is karma isn’t it? i posted a fic last week with two words of gaelic in it and was worried about that and now this is karma))

In general, I don’t want to do it. I feel like you’ve gotta have a really good grasp of a language to write dialogue & speech patterns for someone who’s a native speaker, and since I’m far from fluent in any language the characters I write for are, I wouldn’t feel confident writing any significant amount of dialogue in, say, Gaelic.

As a sidenote, though, I kinda love it when other people do it, particularly for Jamie. Irish (Gaeilge) and Scottish (Gàidhlig) are both languages I’ve wanted to learn for a long time, because my family’s fresh out of living speakers of either & I think that’s a shame, but I started with Irish and at the moment I’m still very much learning it. As different as they are, it still helps me understand parts of lyrics or texts that I come across in Gàidhlig fairly frequently, so when it comes up in a fic I get to feel like I’m being responsible and practicing, and it’s great when I can actually understand what’s being said.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I’m gonna go with Harry Potter even though that’s probably not a perfectly accurate answer - it’s almost certainly the first thing that has a fandom that I ever wrote for, but it was in a notebook when I was a kid and never something that I even typed on a computer, much less posted online or shared with other members of a fandom. But even then, I’m sure it wasn’t the first pre-existing fictional universe I ever set an original story in, because I did that a lot when I was a kid, it’s just hard to remember those clearly or on any kind of timeline.

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

I’m very partial to Across the Gap, so I was pleasantly surprised to see that ranked first on the kudos thing above - but I’ve also got a soft spot for So Merrily We’ll Sing. It’s so self-indulgent it feels silly saying ‘it was so easy to write!’ but I guess having a fic that’s already just 100% headcaonons and fluff tied together by a song you really love does prevent it from being much of a labor (I also managed to refrain from making that one unnecessarily long, so that’s another win there)

tagging @terryfphanatics and anyone else who wants to do it - sorry I’m bad at remembering whose tumblr goes with whose Ao3 account, but I really would be interested to read this if anyone else feels like answering them!

#oh boy that was long #sorry #also sorry if the 13 is really big for some reason #i dont know how it got that way so i dont know how to change it #it doesnt look like that when i edit the post only when i save it #not fic but fic talk

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tigerandbunnyftw · 4 years

Photo

In lead up to Season 2, Namco Bandai Pictures have been releasing comments from the staff involved with this new season, known as the “Staff & Cast - Comment Relay”.

These comments are released on the first day of every month over on the T&B twitter, and full posts are over on the T&B website (Japanese only).

So far 7 comments have been released from both the staff and cast, starting with series’ character/hero designer, Masakazu Katsura!

Please note that I am paraphrasing the first two comments, so any lovelies willing to help translate the first two comments (or just help in general), let me know!

(Series’ Character design / hero design) - Link Katsura has been focusing hard on the character design, specifically for the new Hero suits for Wild Tiger and Barnaby, referred to as “Style 3“. The theme is “standard and fresh” looking. So please look forward to it!

(Series composition / screenplay / story director) - Link

Nishida confirmed that there was history of starting and stopping the project over the last 9 years. So he was worried whether the project would actually take shape one day, but was uplifted when the higher staff finally gave the green light.

Nishida feels that T&B is a work created by the power of all the cast staff and the support of the fans. He wrote something that they found interesting and hopes that fans will be pleased with it.

He ends the comment by saying, the sequel will be announced more than 10 years after the original work. Tiger, Barnaby, Nathan, Karina, Antonio, Keith, Paolin, Ivan and friends. He hopes that we will enjoy and accept all of their changed and unchanged parts, and think that the enemy characters in this season will be slightly different, than those who appeared in the original series and movies.

The following 3 comments were translated by anon over on 4chan (thank you!)

(Screenplay writer - (TB episodes 15 & 23, “T&B The Comic” writer with illustrator Ueda Hiroshi manga, Hero's Day videogame, Double Decker screenplay writer) - Link

>Q: How did you feel about receiving an offer to participate in the Tiger & Bunny 2 production? >EY: It's a great honor to once again become part of the writing team. The series is very special to me - you could say it made me who I am today, since I've been with for so long. From the original TV show, the manga series I wrote with Mr. Ueda, the game, or the recitations, the series has taught me a lot. >When I first joined the writing team for the first season, Barnaby and I were both rookies, but now I'm a something of a mainstay, not unlike Kotetsu. I dearly wish I can now return the favor to the series using the experience I have gained over these years.

>Q: Is there anything you particularly focus on when writing the scenario? >EY: I want Taibani to be a series that makes people happy and gives hope to those watching it. That said, I emphasize the growth and change the heroes have gone through over the course of the first season and the movies. After all, more than a decade will have passed since the first season aired. As time passes and worldviews shift, I intend to depict both things that never change and things that have to change. >Q: Please tell use your message for the fans waiting for S2. >EY: It is your long-lasting love and support that has allowed us to weave this story about the heroes once again. For this, you have my heartfelt thanks. I think the fans understand what I mean when I say the series has been a part of our life. I can't wait to share and experience the new Taibani story with you all. >Let us stay safe, so we can enjoy the new season in sound health and bright spirits.

(Screenplay writer - T&B episodes 6,8 & 18, V-Residence T&B web VN, usually a live action actor)

>Q: How did you feel about receiving an offer to participate in the Tiger & Bunny 2 production? >NK: "Wait, we're doing this? Really? Oh wow...." >I also thought, "Hmm, it's been almost 10 years, so things can't change too much, but they also can't be too static". >And then I was like "Alright! I'm just gonna write what I think is interesting and I'm gonna write the hell out of it!" >Q: Is there anything you particularly focus on when writing the scenario? >NK: I'm really careful to make sure I can hear the character's voice in my head when I writing. The series' characters have very strong and distinctive voices. >Q: Please tell use your message for the fans waiting for S2. >NK: It's a sequel that comes after more than a decade. I think the very fact that T&B has so many fans who have loved and waited for it so long is a miracle and I am very grateful to you all.

>With the corona pandemic going on, I feel like we can't spend as much time just enjoying things with others. So I really wish that S2 will be something for us to band together and enjoy as one. It's great that we can once again watch the same work and share the joy and hype on social media, just like we did before.

(Screenplay writer - live action screenwriter e.g. Kamen Rider/ Kakegurui live action movie)

>Q: How did you feel about receiving an offer to participate in the Tiger & Bunny 2 production? >MT: My hands were literally shaking, I'm serious. When the first season aired I was still in high-school, getting together with my friends after lessons and going "Wow, this week's T&B episode was awesome!". >Joy, sense of responsibility, excitement, pressure... It all came crashing on me together, so I just kind of started twitching. >Q: Is there anything you particularly focus on when writing the scenario? >MT: I mustn't betray the fans' expectations. At the same time, however, I must write a show that even people unfamiliar with the franchise can enjoy. It can't be just a doujin. It's not a vehicle for my ego. More than anything, the show must be fun and interesting. Writing the show felt like threading a microfiber cloth with a micro-sized needle. >Q: Please tell use your message for the fans waiting for S2. >MT: There are very few series that have been loved as long and as deeply by so many people. And I believe we have created a work that can take and embrace all that huge amount of love head on. >Please wait just a little while longer.

>Q: Please tell us your feelings after receiving the production announcement of "TIGER & BUNNY 2". >HH: Every corner of your muscles is always OK! >Q: Please give a message to the fans who are waiting for your work. EDIT - Thanks coolboxofcandy for the suggestion.

>HH: Get ready to roar at your fullest!"

>Q: Please tell us your feelings after receiving the production announcement of "TIGER & BUNNY 2".

>MK: As one of the performers, I'm really happy to decide on the sequel, but as one of the fans, I can't help but wonder if various mysteries that haven't been solved will be solved.

Just like before, I wondered if I could enjoy the moment of reading the script with excitement, and I'm looking forward to it! I want to start recording soon!

>Q: Please give a message to the fans who are waiting for your work. >MK: Actually... I read the script of the first episode first!

“Well! That 's right!"

"Wow ! That person is that!"

"I see! That's right!"

It was the first episode full of surprises. I'm already worried about future developments! Fans, this is an incident! Please look forward to it!

And those were comments that have been released so far. Look forward to more comments in the future!

#tiger & bunny #tiger and bunny #anime #tiger & bunny 2 #translations #translation #season 2 #news

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lovely-ateez · 4 years

Text

Ice Cream Pt. 2~

ꕥPosted: 9/23/20

ꕥGenre: Fluff, Smut

ꕥPairing: Fem!Reader x Seonghwa

ꕥWord Count: ~2k

ꕥWarnings: Oral (f recieving), Unprotected sex (sort of, reader is on the pill), Reader has a thing for being teased, Praise (are we even surprised at this point), Language, Size kink if you squint

ꕥA/N: I hope you all enjoy this one! I’m going to make this a five part series and I’m really excited to write the rest!! I’ll be posting part three on Saturday! You can read the first one here. Happy Wednesday everyone :)

Pt. 3 here~

Your POV

I read over the words on my screen for likely the twentieth time, trying to come up with a solid response. Any response at all, really, that didn’t sound completely ridiculous.

[Choco Boi] Those are big words, doll. How about you come see for yourself how good I am?

Choco Boi—or Seonghwa, as I affectionately named him in my phone—had been bragging to me about how good of a cook he was for the past hour. So I, in all my infinite wisdom, told him I was an incredible chef. I mean I wasn’t necessarily a bad cook, but I certainly wasn’t Gordon Ramsey. And now, I he was inviting me to his home for us to cook together.

My fingers were hovering over the keyboard of my phone when I received another text from him.

[Choco Boi] No pressure tho, only if you want to :)

[Me] That’s okay! I’d like to. Maybe the 6th?

Surely someone can learn to cook in a week, right?

[Choco Boi] Sure. I’ll pick you up at 5?

[Me] Sounds good :))

With a sigh I set my phone down on my night stand, tucking myself into bed. I had work the next morning and I knew I should be getting some sleep but my thoughts continued to drift back to Seonghwa.

Two weeks had passed since we first met and there wasn’t a day that passed that we didn’t text, FaceTime, or call each other.

I couldn’t help but be attracted to him. He was just so...alluring. He had the most precious mannerisms and I felt like I melted everytime he smiled. Especially when it was because of me.

I recalled the first official date we went on. He took me to a gorgeous restaurant I had never heard of. I teased myself for being so nervous because conversation flowed so easily with him. We held hands nearly the entire time as Seonghwa pretended to know all the foreign dishes and everything about them, making up the most ridiculous stories as he went along. I smiled and laughed with him to the point I had tears in my eyes.

I remember so clearly when he drove me home and we ended up making out in his car for an hour, the fat raindrops pounding on his car. It wasn’t intentional, at least on my part, but god if my feelings weren’t strong before, they certainly were now. The cologne he was wearing was no doubt expensive and he looked so heavenly in his blue button-up shirt with the rolled up sleeves exposing his forearms, his silver watch on display. I wouldn’t have been surprised if my eyes were literally forming hearts when I looked at him. I felt comforted that his eyes reflected the look in mine.

Closing my eyes I gradually lulled myself to sleep, but not without thinking of him as I did.

The next day passed relatively quickly, and I felt slightly anxious about meeting with Seonghwa. I knew he wouldn’t instantly lose interest if I wasn’t a good cook, but I still wanted to impress him.

Setting down all of my groceries with a thud, I let out a sigh. I was pretty confident I bought half of the store’s cooking materials. Seonghwa refused to tell me what we were making so I wanted to make sure I got all the basics down. I had no problem with baking and I was certain I would be fine if we ended up making cookies, brownies, or something similar.

I just wasn’t too sure about...well, essentially everything else. So I spent my week trying new recipes and failing, trying them again and still failing but less so. I couldn’t help but feel frustrated, still not completely sure of what I was doing wrong.

I spent most nights cooking, trying to get the hang of beginner and intermediate dishes. Only a few actually turned out okay, but honestly it was better than where I started, and time was running out so I just had to accept it.

The day finally approached and I did everything possible to calm my nerves. As the clock ticked closer to five, I checked my outfit again. My favorite long sleeved shirt was tucked into a pair of slightly ripped shorts that tightly hugged my thighs. Simple pearls rested on my ears. I didn’t want anything too dramatic or revealing, especially since we’re only planning to cook.

Looking good girl. You can do this. Just remember to breathe and it’ll all be alright.

The doorbell shook me from my thoughts.

“Coming!”

As I opened the door I saw Seonghwa holding a bouquet of roses, a loving smile on his face. My heart grew at the sight. He made me feel so cared for.

“There are for you, doll.”

I pushed the flowers aside and kissed him, jumping into his arms. “I’m so excited! It’s so good to see you!”

He laughed. “It’s good to see you, too.”

I took the flowers from his hands and welcomed him into my house, placing them in a jar.

“They’re gorgeous. Thank you again, Seonghwa.”

“No problem. You ready? My car is parked out front.”

I nodded, biting my lip. “I’m ready.”

Seonghwa’s POV

As we climbed into my car she spoke, her voice a little small, “So what are we making, Hwa?”

I smiled at the nickname she hadn’t used since the last time I saw her in person. “Well, love, today we’ll be making soufflé. That should be no problem with you right? You are an incredible chef, after all.”

A flash of fear shone through her eyes before she made a feeble attempt to suppress it. It was almost comical.

“Duh, of course.”

I smiled to myself. I doubted she’d made anything more complex than cookies but I was curious to see how far she was willing to take this.

My house wasn’t too far from hers so it took maybe ten minutes before we were at my house. I knew she’d never been to my home before and hoped she wasn’t too nervous.

I wouldn’t admit it, but I was more nervous than I led on. I’d brought a few girls to my place, but I didn’t have the instant connection with them that I did with her. She was special to me, as cliché as it sounds.

“Your house is pretty.” She said with big eyes.

I smiled, “Thank you.”

I held the door open as she walked in, and she instantly let out a gasp. It scared me, thinking something was wrong until I saw her run over to a little plant sitting on my windowsill.

“It’s so cute! Does it have a name?”

“Uh...can’t say it does. You name plants?”

She scoffed, “Of course! Frankly I’m appalled that you don’t.”

I watched as her eyes squinted, carefully examining the plant.

God she looks adorable. She’s literally just fawning over a plant and my heart is pounding. What are you doing to me, sweetheart?

“I think it looks like a Unice.”

“Unice?”

“Yeah! I can’t explain it but it looks like a Unice.”

“Fair enough. Let’s head to the kitchen, I’ve got everything set up already.”

She nodded and waved goodbye to the plant.

“Bye Unice!”

I couldn’t help but crack a smile.

“So I know how to—of course—but you know I just want to see if you know how to make a soufflé so you should probably explain it.” She batted her eyelashes.

I raised a hand to my chin. “Actually, I’m not quite sure, now that you mention it. I could probably use a refresher. Would you mind telling me?”

“Uhhh...”

I laughed at her stunned appearance. “Don’t worry, I’ve got a recipe.”

The woman giggled like a child, likely out of nerves.

“Good.”

“So first I need you to grab some milk and butter from the fridge.” I told her while preheating the oven.

“Okay!” She opened the fridge, “Oh my gosh you have chocolate covered strawberries? What are those for?”

You.

“I have a sweet tooth. You can have some if you’d like.”

“No, that’s okay. I don’t wanna steal your food.”

“I don’t mind. They’re there if you want some.”

“Aw thanks.”

Everything went smoothly and I was surprised that she was doing so well. Soufflés weren’t easy to make for beginners and I was happy to see her trying.

That was until she started to stir the egg whites and accidentally knocked over the bag of flour sitting next to her.

“Okay I give.” Her brows furrowed as she threw her hands up in defeat, “I’m not the best at making food and I don’t know what I’m doing.”

I glanced at the powder covering her clothes and pressed my lips together to hide my smile.

“You don’t say?”

She cracked a slight smile, despite her best efforts to remain serious. “I’m trying, okay?”

I walked over to her and tilted my head down to look at her tiny frame.

“You’re so cute.”

Her eyes widened and she buried her face in her hands almost immediately, whining at me not to say such things.

You have no idea how endearing you are to me, darling.

“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.”

I gently removed her hands from her face and was greeted with a cherry blush forming on her cheeks. Just like when I first saw her, it was so easy to make her blush. I seemed to grow more and more fond of her flustered state every time I saw it.

Tucking a few fingers under her chin, I leaned down to kiss her soft lips. She tasted of the chocolate covered strawberries I saw her eating earlier when she thought I wasn’t looking and smelled of floral perfume. It was an intoxicating combination.

I smiled against the kiss when I felt her melt into my touch. Kissing her harder I ran my hands down her back, unintentionally playing with the hem of her shirt. I didn’t have any intention of taking things further. I was more than willing to take my time with her. I wanted her to be comfortable more than anything.

And then she whimpered into the kiss. I felt myself twitch in my jeans at the noise. She sounded so beautiful and everything in me craved to hear it again. I broke from the kiss and ran my lips down the side of her neck, taking my time to see how she reacted. She leaned into my touch and began to pant heavily, gripping onto my biceps.

I heard a breathless whisper of my name fall from her lips and it spurred me on. I gradually led her back up against the island in my kitchen and pinned her in place with my arms on either side of her, pressing on the granite. I littered her neck with kisses, paying close attention to the areas that were most sensitive to her.

Before I got ahead of myself I drew back to tell her we should stop. I didn’t know how far she wanted to go and I didn’t want her to think that I was only after her for sex. And so, I told her as such.

Her hazy lust-filled eyes darkened. “I don’t think you’re that type of guy. I want this if you do.”

“Wait! The oven!” Her eyes grew.

“Oh shit you’re right.”

I ran to turn off the oven and wordlessly picked her up, letting her legs wrap around my waist. All I saw was desire in her eyes. I led her to my bedroom and set her down on the soft sheets of my bed.

“Let’s find out what you’re into, sweetheart.”

She giggled and grabbed my shirt, forcing her lips against mine.

“Why don’t I show you?”

Your POV

I felt the fanning of his hot breath on my skin and I shivered, temporarily forgetting how to speak.

“Shirt off.” I demanded.

Seonghwa raised a brow but complied. When his shirt came off I couldn’t help but stare, practically drooling at the look of him. Without thinking I reached out to run my fingers along his abs.

“Damn. You’re really attractive.” I could barely speak above a whisper.

“And you look absolutely stunning, my darling.”

He quickly removed my shorts, leaving my black lacy panties exposed. His eyes devoured me, and any dominant feelings I had within quickly disappeared. His hands ran up and down my thighs and made the warmth inside me spread.

“Tease me please.” I begged.

“Oh,” his mouth quirked into a smile, “You’re one of those, huh?”

“Shush. I don’t need—ah fuck.”

Seonghwa’s fingers danced across my clothed clit and I arched my back off the bed. His fingers were gone as quickly as they first appeared. I couldn’t help but groan at the lack of contact, but I loved it. He continued this a few more times before my whines became much louder. His lips met mine in a heated kiss and I felt his fingers tickling my sides.

“Seonghwa!” I spoke through uncontrolled giggles.

I kissed him even harder as he continued and tried to catch my breath through the sensation.

He stopped and I wiggled under his stare, feeling so, so small.

“It’s your turn now. Shirt off.” Normally I would have been embarrassed with how quickly I removed my shirt and how eager I likely appeared, but the wetness I felt between my thighs was growing quickly and I needed release.

“Good girl.” Seonghwa removed my panties at an almost painfully slow speed and when he finally did, he tossed them aimlessly behind him. He raised my legs over his shoulders and I shuddered as his mouth slowly approached where I so badly needed him.

“So wet for me already and I’ve barely touched you.” His voice dropped several octaves and I whimpered.

My head fell back as I felt a few kitten licks on my clit. When I didn’t feel anything more, I looked back at him to be met with a shit-eating grin.

“Seonghwa!” My voice sounded so needy I barely recognized it.

“What? I thought you liked to be teased.”

“Well yes but actually no.” I joked, “Not when I need you this bad.”

“Hmm.” Was all the response I got before he went back to running his tongue along my clit and opening.

“Fuckfuckfuck.” I chanted as he picked up the pace, slowly entering a few fingers in me.

“I didn’t realize you had such a vulgar mouth, doll.”

If I had the ability to process any of what he just said I’m sure I would have had some retort ready, but in all honesty I couldn’t think about anything else except the stimulation that I was feeling.

I could feel my orgasm rapidly approaching and I had no doubt that he knew it too. My hands found his hair and gripped onto his dark locks.

“Seonghwa! Oh my god please don’t stop.”

Then, the bastard stopped. I groaned and bucked my hips up, desperate for anything.

“Patience is a virtue, you know.”

“Fuck off.”

He let out a hearty laugh and reached to his nightstand. I grabbed his face and made him look at me.

“I’m on the pill, don’t worry.”

“Are you sure? Like really sure?”

“Yes yes I’m sure. Please, Seonghwa.”

He quickly discarded his clothes as I removed my bra, his eyes quickly darkening.

“Tell me if you want to stop at any time, okay?” Even though I could tell how bad he wanted this, his eyes were kind, putting me first.

I really found a good man. It’s too early to say I’m falling for him, but I definitely can see myself loving him.

“I will.”

He let out a low groan as he entered me and I clenched around him, loving the sound.

“Fuck. Don’t do that.” He warned.

“Do what?” I asked with a smirk, promptly repeating the action.

He groaned again, “Babe I’m trying to last for a while here and you’re not making it easy.”

I bit my lip, pleased at his response, when he quickly thrusted into me. I moaned, my breath leaving me.

“Not so talkative now, hmm?”

I didn’t have the ability to respond and simply grasped his face to pull him into a kiss as he continued his movements.

“You’re making me feel so good, babe.”

“Same...here.”

My legs were shaking and I closed my eyes, not being able to keep them open any longer.

A deep voice called out to me, “Hey. Hey look at me.”

Fighting my urges to close my eyes I made eye contact with him. A sweet look was conveyed by his eyes, starkly contrasting the fact that we were literally having sex.

“You look gorgeous.”

My face turned pink and in response Seonghwa kissed both of my cheeks, leading down to my neck.

“Hwa, I’m close.”

A dazzling smile lit up his face at what I assume was the nickname.

“Me too.”

With a few more thrusts I was shaking, cumming around him. He let out a low growl releasing slightly after me.

Both of us remained still, trying to catch our breath.

“Same time next week, love?”

“Seonghwa oh my god!” He laughed along with me.

“Honestly,” I thought aloud, “Sure.”

He slowly pulled out of me and grabbed a warm towel from his bathroom, cleaning me up.

“I didn’t necessarily plan this to happen, but I was planning on asking you at the end of today anyway: Would you want to be my girlfriend? Maybe?”

I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him.

“That sounds like a wonderful idea.”

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