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eponymous-rose · 4 years ago

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E129 (March 16, 2021)

Tonight’s guests are Matt Mercer and Taliesin Jaffe!

Matt, on DMing Luc’s Revivify: “That was weird. It’s one thing when it happens because of player action and circumstances and the choices they make. When it’s entirely on me, unintentional, and just realizing different chess pieces you’ve set up, that’s rough.” It was especially rough since this was a child NPC related to a PC. “I was hoping somebody had a spell slot left.” He kept in mind that there are two clerics in the room and that they could resurrect the next day even if the Revivify went poorly. “A good chance, since it’s his first time. Okay, okay, okay, okay, I think we’ll be okay, we’ll see how this goes. It was really stressful in the moment! I did not set out to have that happen, but when I realized what was going to happen, I tried to see it through.” He wouldn’t have prevented a chance to bring him back. “There may have been an offshoot short-run series of games to find a way to bring him back. I would have found some way to correct the circumstance so the players could feel good about moving forward with the story and there was no undue punishment beyond their control.”

Taliesin on Cad’s response: “This is a big thing if you’re a cleric. It was very much coming in like an EMT. Everything should be fine... hopefully. Just focused in and got it done. The minute things started to go south it was like, okay, that’s the next problem.”

On Yeza’s feelings: “It is a very complicated situation. I think he, much like how Veth is trying to figure out what it is that she wants, I think he’s trying to help her find that while also figuring it out for himself. I think Yeza’s also noticing that because Veth’s the more active of the two of them she also takes the weight of the responsibility and the blame for things when they go wrong, unnecessarily. Especially when he himself acknowledges that he’s partially at fault for even dragging everyone in with the Conclave. As much as he’s appreciative for them coming back for him, there’s a lot of back and forth. He’s filled with a lot of regret, too, but he’s very much trying to convince Veth that it’s a burden that she doesn’t have to keep to herself, that they can share it and work through it together.” Matt mentions that, as an actor, he really loves exploring interactions between characters first and foremost. “Especially when you don’t know where it’s going to go.” He also praises Sam as a scene partner - “I really cherish that.”

How does Caduceus feel about Revivify and Speak with Dead? “Speak with Dead is an interesting middle ground, because he knows that it’s not actually speaking with the dead. It’s really just-- it’s almost medical, really. This is just reactivating a brain at a certain point. It’s practically just a muscle twitch at this point. That doesn’t really prod him in that direction. Revivify is interesting, because it had never really come up. At first I thought of it as bending the rules, but it’s not bending the rules. You knock over a plant, you replant it, you don’t stare at it and go ‘Well, that’s over.’ This is just doing the work. No, we can bring this thing back to health. This is all part of the circle of life, that sometimes we can save something. Especially given the stress that he’s put himself through over the past year of being with these people. He’s started to think of himself a bit as a battlefield medic, and triage is just part of the deal, and it’s completely acceptable.”

Did Trent really just want to talk? “Yeah, that circumstance, as it came together, Trent would never have arrived if there wasn’t an indication that there was some kind of infiltration or attack. Even beyond that, it was Jester breaking the concentration on her charm on that one guard when she created her duplicate.” The guards’ job is to inform a member of the Cerberus Assembly, and Trent lived the closest. “He didn’t know who it was, didn’t have any expectation necessarily. The minute he saw the illusion, he knew a powerful magic user was involved.” Seeing Caleb was an unexpected surprise. “I don’t think he wanted to throw down necessarily. He was more interested in figuring out exactly what the nature of this was.” Matt had multiple battlemaps that didn’t get used. “They managed to cleverly out-maneuver him in his surprise of seeing them.” The Nein rocketed up his priority list after that very quickly. Taliesin: “We’re so fucked.”

On Cad being “Uncle Caduceus” to Luc: “It’s the thing he misses most about home, is being a juvenile shit. It’s nice to be able to express that part of him again, as opposed to the serious, life-threatening, constant intensity. I’m very at home just being a little difficult.”

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Beau! (_rumor_king, photography by kourtyardproductions on Instagram)

On Marion: “Like a lot of people in this whole narrative from the beginning, getting swept up in things larger than her and trying to adapt. This is a circumstance she’s avoided for a long time. She’s having a rough time in some ways, but simultaneously, she’s enduring. Like a mother would. She’s adapting, she’s making it work. Without much of a choice, you just kind of do the best you can and lean on the people around you to help you where they can. Luckily she has a daughter there. She’s probably surprising herself at how well she’s doing given the circumstances.” Matt talks about how weird it is to feel proud of character he’s created. “Of the many things Marion is incredible at, she’s a studier of the human condition. She’s seen and heard the stories of so many. That gives her a very special perspective. She can see elements of that fractured individual within Caleb, and knowing the good that he’s brought to his friends, and knowing he’s possibly saved her life from bad circumstances, she couldn’t not speak up. She very easily falls into that role of maternal comforter, because it’s one of the many things she’s really good at, she enjoys it, and she can see well when people need it.” He’s been enjoying having Marion along for this (despite the difficult circumstances) because he was always a little sad that they only got to see her for short periods of time.

On the Blooming Grove’s safety: “He’s afraid that it’s a premonition. He’s not pinned it down, but he’s happy to let his imagination wander. He at the very least feels like there’s a reason he’s having these thoughts, and that there’s a reason to go there. He’s a big believer that these things don’t just happen. He’s more likely to think that there’s a good reason to go versus a danger to go. He’s had a couple of ominous warnings lately, and he’s not used to them and not a fan. He’s more likely to read something like that as, there is something there waiting for you that you have to discover. There is something that is going to be helpful to you, even if it hurts.”

On Astrid: “While maybe not as readable in overall personality as Trent is, I still want to be careful to not discuss things that are still being discussed within the game and tossed around as possibilities. Astrid is another complicated character, as anyone would be who’s been through the life she has. I can’t say too much. I can say she’s definitely legitimately happy to see Bren/Caleb after all this time.” His reemergence definitely caught her off guard. “We’ll have to see where it goes from there.”

On Cad’s successful Divine Intervention: “He’s definitely hit the ‘on a mission from god’ stage. He’s been that way for the entire campaign of, this, this is what I’ve been waiting for. Even when it sucks a lot, it’s been nice that those things have popped up to remind him, no, no, you’re doing it right, everything’s good. Probably not going to survive the next week, but you’re doing good! Not quite 1 in a 100 chance, but I forget so often to make that roll, and it’s such a great roleplaying roll. I don’t know how at level 20 you could deal with the fact that you can do that every day.”

On Zeenoth getting his comeuppance: the kidnapping was a concept Marisha brought up for Beau’s backstory, and Matt went with it even though it was opposed to the Cobalt Soul’s philosophy because he knew rooting it out would make for an interesting story. “I felt it was an important beat to bring to her, because it was something that she was wronged by. And to show that there are still some good people out there who are trying to make things right.” After the tentative peace, dealing with this became Dairon’s next focus. “I was glad we finally got to it. So many people don’t have the opportunity in their lives to get that sort of justice and vindication, so if I can bring elements of that justice into our world, even for our own hope, I’m going to do that. Especially for my wife’s character, especially for a character that deserves that.” Taliesin points out that if it had come too early, Beau wouldn’t have believed it.

Cad’s thoughts on the Tomb Taker betrayal? “He knew it was gonna come at some point. There was no way that was gonna last. He was hoping it was gonna last a little longer. He was really hoping they had a vested interest in getting them all the way to the end. Nope, this is apparently as far as we go, and he was not prepared for that.” He was expecting the potential for de-escalation. “Caduceus is the only character in there that doesn’t have a history with Lucien. I think he sees him a little more clearly than everybody else does. They’re all looking for this person that Clay, at least, is of the opinion that he’s just not there. This is a very manipulative, very dangerous infernal human. Just smarter than all of them. Really aware that there is no calculating what the hell is going to happen. Conversation is the only way you can deal with someone like that.”

Fan Art of the Week: An amazing Caleb closeup! (rynn_birb on Twitter)

Taliesin on Lucien: “I’m excited he’s the one that’s going to kill us all. Poetic that this is how the game ends.” Matt was delighted when Taliesin handed him carte blanche to do what he wanted with Molly’s past. “I was like ‘shit... oh, wait!’ The character of Lucien was always intended to be an antagonist so that it would have been Molly being chased by the person who wanted their body back. But then it happened that he got his body back.” Taliesin: “He’s so much worse than I ever hoped.”

Matt, on the Holy Avenger: “I hadn’t thought to initially even give that sword.” The good roll was the only reason Kima handed that over. “Well, sure, you get the sword. It was very reactionary, it wasn’t my intent originally. I was like, well, I mean, there’s two avenues she can take with this.” Multiclass into Paladin, or lean into the fact that her subclass is essentially a barbarian paladin. “This really works out in a uniquely beautiful way. Let me see if I can lay out a path for her to earn it.”

On Cad’s attempt at lying blowing up in his face: “He was like that kid that had a really bad day in high school and was like, you know what? I’m going to let loose. This is it. I’m gonna dye a streak in my hair. And then tries to give himself a haircut and ends up with half bangs. Well, okay, obviously I’m not that person. I was feeling a little distraught and I didn’t handle it well. Maybe I’m going dark... no, I’m not going dark. Nope.” Matt mentions how much he relates to Caduceus.

Matt, on the Eyes: “What can I tell you? I’m enjoying the hell out of it. The moment they began to really push to read that book, I was like, okay, this is on you. I’m excited for the point in the narrative where the march continues back to Eiselcross. I am almost impatient - not really - because we’re on the cusp of getting to more of the meat. There’s so much to learn, so much to see, so much to explore. I love instilling my players with absolute terror.”

Thoughts on Jester’s Tarot reading? Taliesin cackles. “Molly made the cards, so. Did it to himself, he did, he did.” Matt: “Once again, another example of things working out unexpectedly and too perfectly for an improvised moment. Fuck.” Taliesin: “Bless the wisdom of chaos.” Matt: “I love that even at this point in the campaign, Molly continues to fuck with people. I’m just so proud. That deeply shook Lucien, for reasons.” Taliesin: “It’s the everlasting gobstopper smoke bomb.”

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long text post

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thedeviljudges · 3 years ago

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Tbh, Gaon's parents loved each other more than they loved Gaon.

Also, Gaon loved Yohan more than he loved Elijah (sorry for saying this, but that's the truth. Gaon trying to kill himself with a bomb proved us that) just imagine, if both Gaon and Yohan died at the end. Elijah will face the same thing that happened to Gaon when he was 16. (Not to mention that Elijah is also 16) if that happened, idk what will happen to Elijah cuz she lost her parents when she was 6 (6 right?) Then, the new found parents (we can't deny the fact that Yohan and Gaon are Elijah's parents)

Also Gaon proved us that he didn't love Soohyun as much as he loves Yohan.

This is crazy girl😭 I mean, Gaon shouldn't have confessed to Soohyun. We could see how awkward that kiss was. He wasn't sure about the confession either. And by confessing to her, I guess Soohyun knew this. She knew that Gaon isn't sure about himself. So, that's not good. Just confessing to the girl who loved him for years. That's was unfair to Soohyun. To himself as well. Cuz he betrayed his own real feelings.

This is something I really don't like about Gaon. He acts without thinking. Overall he's very nice and I really really love him a lot. But, by acting without thinking always disappoint me.

I actually finished The Devil Judge recently and you guys inspired me a lot to watch it. I mean who can ignore this, after getting so much spoilers from here 😭😂 that's why I sent this ask. I don't have anyone to talk about TDJ so....yeah😁

I’m going to go through your ask and comment on different parts just so it doesn’t get all jumbled up!!!! i kind of play devil's advocate with this one so i hope i don't come across as rude. i think you bring up some great points that deserve some more context and analysis!!!!

Thank you for sending this!!! I hope you’re finding the devil judge fandom here on tumblr amazing. <3

this is long so, to get into this:

Tbh, Gaon's parents loved each other more than they loved Gaon.

I think this one is complicated because I know some people have expressed the same thing, but personally, I don’t know that I believe that fully. See, parents are never supposed to outlive their children anyway. That’s a concept we’ve adopted just because that’s the very nature of life: those who grow older will die first and so on and so forth. Of course, that’s not always the case, but most parents will tell you they wish to go before ever seeing their children pass away.

I think when you love people fiercely, it’s a complicated thing. I don’t think I’d be able to point this out if I hadn’t been working on a health care account at work, but it’s most likely that gaon’s mother passed following her husband and gaon’s father because of broken heart syndrome. While typically unlikely that someone can die by the condition, it is possible, and I think a lot of film tropes utilize it more than it actually happens.

Broken heart syndrome is where someone goes through extreme stress that is significantly emotional or traumatic. It generally happens in women more often than men. The heart enlarges and doesn’t pump, which can lead to heart muscle failure. The condition is treatable.

The condition is also different than a heart attack because it’s not caused by blocked arteries and is primary induced by death of a loved one, breakups, betrayals, rejection, separation anxiety or divorce.

I think it’s safe to say that gaon’s mother might have experienced this. Some people feel their emotions much more than others, which is why this is a known condition.

As for gaon’s father, I don’t think s*icide is a selfish act, per se. One of the things I’ve noticed in every kdrama I’ve seen so far (and I can count on one hand how many I’ve seen) is that there is always, always mention of a suicide. This makes sense when you look at South Korea’s s*icide rates. They’re one of the highest in the world, and it seems television shows have either taken that into account or it’s so highly prominent in society that it’s used as a plot point because it’s relatable to the situation there. (Similar to the way gun discussions and/or use are depicted or utilized in American films).

And I think as well, when we discuss s*icide, it’s generally a symptom of mental health issues. What kind of duress was gaon’s father under after he found out his money was gone? How much did he think of himself as a failure and as a fool? Whether or not reputation played a part, it’s certainly a contending factor as well as the shame involved of what happened – even if it wasn’t gaon’s father’s fault whatsoever. People make choices, rational or not, and we weren’t given an inside look into what drove him to make that decisions.

However, where I’m going with this is that I’m sure on some level, and one he probably thought of the moment gaon was born, was knowing that gaon would outlive them all. That gaon would be fine to go on without his parents because being human means there is resiliency.

Which is also why, to your next point, I don’t think gaon loved Yohan more than Elijah, necessarily. There is a parallelism used between gaon’s parents and what happened to him and Elijah and her parents, gaon and Yohan, that could’ve happened to her. That’s purposeful to one, show that the kangs + gaon are a family, and two, that both Yohan and gaon have broken a cycle of s*icide before it could really begin again.

But when we think about Yohan and gaon’s choices, when can compare them to gaon's parent’s. Yohan has casted himself as villain for Elijah to hate, to direct her anger towards because she needed an outlet and Yohan was willing to be that for her. So he knew Elijah was capable of continue to live on – after all, Yohan found gaon and realized he made it himself being an orphan at 16. But Yohan also convinced himself so thoroughly that Elijah didn’t need him, probably didn’t love him the same, and justified it as a way to repent and make wrong the rights. Instead, he failed to realize elijah’s love for Yohan despite his flaws, despite the clouded unsureness of whether Yohan killed Isaac. Gaon’s father probably failed to realize that gaon loved him no matter what, too.

For gaon's choice, it’s also an act of repentance for his hasty decisions. We see that when he says sorry by giving Elijah her food and telling her Yohan had nothing to do with the fire. Gaon’s justifications are simply, in the same vein as Yohan, to make things right no matter what. Would he have chosen this method had the government not turned itself into a military state while controlling the press? That’s a good question. Gaon’s decision was rooted out of love and a sense of responsibility. He even tells Elijah in the mansion just after Yohan is taken that he will make things right, and he will bring Yohan back.

The second time gaon makes his declaration (to Yohan) is both held in truth and manipulation to get Yohan to stay. It’s clear gaon knows that Yohan thinks he’s important, and if Elijah isn’t enough to get him to stay (which she is, but again, he’s doing it out of saying sorry to her) then maybe gaon would be the driving force, an apology on some level for not believing in Yohan after all this time. And within that, there’s also the fact that gaon, like Yohan, knows how capable Elijah is. I think underneath it all, Yohan knew that even if he did die at the courthouse, gaon would be there for Elijah.

Also Gaon proved us that he didn't love Soohyun as much as he loves Yohan.

I think yes and no with this one. I think this is true on a romantic level but that gaon’s love for each of them is also inherently different form each other, but gaon had yet to figure that out.

Gaon loved soohyun but in a different way. She was his friend, but she based it on conditional love. Gaon would do anything not to lose her because she’s been his only family for years. Which is why I firmly believe he told her he liked her because it was one of the only ways he knew how to get her not to leave him. gaon couldn’t afford to have someone else leave. But as noted by their awkward as hell kiss, even soohyun realized she built gaon up in her mind and that both of them were clinging onto each other for comfortability.

Between soohyun and Yohan, it was never about which one will gaon choose romantically because they were never on the same playing field to begin with. Gaon just had to figure that out for himself and there was never a love triangle. Gaon made that very clear by rejecting soohyun for over two decades, at that point.

Additionally, I think with this one, it’s not necessarily about ranking someone’s love but realizing how toxic it can be from both sides. Yohan manipulates and lets gaon be as free as he wants, a little too much. Soohyun keeps gaon in check, restrictive. This is why the end of the devil judge is so pivotal because it’s gaon finally coming to a place where he has the freedom to find himself without the influences of everyone else around him. He’s more clear-headed. He can finally exam how he truly feels, dissect it fully, without the influence of soohyun holding their friendship over his head, or Yohan asking him to choose him out of desperation to keep gaon on his side. Gaon finally has his own free will to decide.... and guess who he chooses!!!

As I said, I think it’s always been clear the trajectory of the romance. Gaon just needed to establish what was what: loving soohyun as a friend, and loving yohan as a romantic partner.

Kind of in line to what I mentioned above, the kiss was really awkward, and I think it was both of them realizing this was not what they wanted. Soohyun thought she wanted gaon and when she got him, she wasn’t enthusiastic about it at all. gaon chose soohyun and ‘confessed’ simply because he wanted to keep her by his side. Soohyun’s love was always conditional and the only way to really get her back after all he’d done with Yohan (to which soohyun thought was bad and wrong and morally corrupt without ever understanding fully or letting goan explain himself) was to play her romantic emotions. I don’t think he did it out of maliciousness but knew that was the one button he could push that would actually get her to listen to his apology. In the same vein of it being wrong for gaon to do that, it was so very wrong for soohyun to question gaon’s judgment, dangle their friendship on what she thought was morally right and wrong and then go right back to not believing and/or listening to him the next morning when he asked that they trust Yohan in the face of a fascist government. On top of that, her incessant need to confess to gaon when he told her multiple times no is also really gross.

At this point, I don’t know that gaon fully realized his feelings for Yohan. They were certainly there under the surface but on that superficial level, he hadn’t managed to connect the dots. So while us viewers knew it was gaon betraying his feelings (just as we had to watch gaon question his judgment the entire way bc of the professor and soohyun), he hadn’t quite figured out his deal with Yohan just yet. I think, however, it did go against his base instinct to trust Yohan. And when he tried to bring it up again, as I said above, soohyun still wouldn’t listen.

This is something I really don't like about Gaon. He acts without thinking. Overall he's very nice and I really really love him a lot. But, by acting without thinking always disappoint me.

Gaon’s actions were certainly frustrating on first watch, but they really do serve a purpose in the story!!! Gaon’s impulsiveness comes from years of suppressing his desires and never having a good outlet to healthily talk about his feelings. When gaon wanted to kill the conman as a teen, soohyun told him not to do it, and he suppressed what he felt until he had a second chance to do what he couldn’t the first time. Those things were always there inside him, but they were stilted. So how does that translate? To gaon make brash decisions.

It’s very similar to…. Restrictive dieting, for lack of a better example. Say you cut out all sweets from your diet, and you know you’re a sweet person. Most often then not, the longer you cut out those foods and punish yourself, the more likely you’re going to binge eat sweets, or at least consume a good amount. It’s a very common cycle with people, including myself.

And this is the same predicament gaon finds himself in. He’s had to live by soohyun and the professor’s rules for so long (bc again, their love is conditional), and he can’t make any wrong moves or they’ll punish him in some way for it. Yohan gives gaon an outlet to express his desires and then choose whether he wants to go through with it or not.

A perfect example of this is the conman. When gaon is in conman's house, acting on his desires to kill the man responsible for his parent’s death, he ends up stopping himself of his own free will. Yohan, of course, steps in, but guess what Yohan does? He hands Gaon the knife and lets him decide what he should do. Gaon gets to choose. No one else, and guess what gaon chooses? He throws the knife and realizes that the conman can be useful.

People are not inherently evil for these kinds of thoughts/feelings. It’s what you do with them that matter. Gaon really just needed to have an outlet to express everything he’d pent up for so long because it’s so very clear what happens when he isn’t given the chance. He makes brash and irrational decisions based on emotions, and people get hurt because of it. I think in some ways, Yohan has taught gaon to be more patient.

So it’s okay to feel disappointed in gaon for that. I think there were many instances I felt that frustration, too. but context is always important as well!!

Ahhhh i'm so happy you have it a chance!!!!!!! Im so glad all of us here got you into it. I love finding new people are watching it and enjoy it because it’s so good.

I hope everything I said makes sense and breaks stuff down a little more. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It really got me thinking about the show again, and I just love having the chance to do that!!! I really enjoyed it, and I hope you find some more fandom friends here should you choose to post!!! We always enjoy new tdj content in the tag. <3

#x #the devil judge #the devil judge meta

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dessarious · 4 years ago

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How the Sirens Adopted a Ladybug Pt1

So when I was writing the last chapter of How to Not Get a Date it went full blown angst. Since that wasn’t what I wanted for that story and rewrote the chapter that I posted but the other idea decided to blow up into yet another story so here we go again.

AO3 Next

“I don’t suppose I could convince you not to steal that?” Catwoman spun around to find a girl in what looked like a dark red armored suit with black spots. In the Louvre at two in the morning. What the hell?

“And just what are you supposed to be?” The girl just gave her a sardonic smile and Catwoman couldn’t help but notice how tired she looked.

“I’m Ladybug. Hero of Paris.” The sarcastic tone was unexpected and it took her a minute to actually process the words.

“Since when does Paris have Heroes?”

“Since some megalomaniac found a Miraculous and decided to use it for his own selfish desires. If not for the fact that he targets people with strong negative emotions I wouldn’t care what you do. But since the last time the curator of this exhibit was Akumatized it was a three day battle, I would really like to avoid it if I can.” She just continued to frown at the girl. That couldn’t be real.

“Did Harley and Ivy put you up to this?” That just got her confused frown mirrored back at her. She was either a really good actress or she wasn’t lying.

“Look, this exhibit is moving to London in under two weeks. Could you please just wait until it leaves Paris to take whatever it is you’re after?” This was so strange. She claimed to be a hero but didn’t seem to care that Catwoman was stealing, just that it would become her problem. Even most of the bats frowned upon that sort of thing.

“So you’re just going to let me walk out of here like nothing happened?” She sighed and ran a hand through her hair, refusing to make eye contact.

“The police have made it clear that it is not my job to apprehend criminals.” There was a lot of anger under those words. Catwoman walked up to the girl and gently lifted her head so she could study her. Seriously, what was it with black hair and blue eyes? Between the bats and Superman she was starting to wonder if it wasn’t a coincidence.

“When was the last time you slept?” She watched Ladybug’s eyes unfocus as she searched for the answer. “How about the last time you ate?” That produced a flinch.

“I can take care of myself.” Well that wasn’t a good reaction. The girl reminded her a bit of Tim and Jason. The sleep deprivation was all the baby CEO but the amorality screamed mister gun nut.

“I’m sure you can. I’ll tell you what; I’ll do what you want but in return you’ll come with me to meet a couple of my friends and let us feed you.” She hesitated but Catwoman didn’t see any worry in her expression. She wasn’t scared of being alone with criminals so it was likely pride holding her back. “I want to talk to you more about the situation here. It’s odd that I haven’t heard about it.”

“No it’s not. The Miraculous magic is very good at containing itself. Very few people outside of Paris have any idea what is going on.” That tone was odd. There was a trace of bitterness but it was mostly resigned.

“How old are you?” The way she held herself said she was experienced in what she did, but everything else screamed that she was still just a kid.

“Old enough to do what must be done.” Yep, she was dealing with a baby.

------------------------------------------------------

“Will you quit worrying? I’m sure everything’s just fine.” Ivy just shot Harley an annoyed glance. She loved the woman to death but she really needed to take things a bit more seriously sometimes.

“She’s two hours late Harls, that’s a time frame for worry. Not to mention I’ve felt off ever since we got here. There’s something wrong with this city and I don’t like it.” She was constantly on edge and her skin felt like it was trying to crawl off her body. Ivy wanted nothing more than for Selina to get back so they could leave. Sightseeing be damned.

“As always your instincts are dead on.” She let out a relieved breath and turned to yell at Selina for trying to give her a heart attack but couldn’t manage to speak once she saw the person with her. Or rather once she felt the power coming off of them. She pulled Harley behind her and prepared for the worst. Selina was just looking at her like she was insane but the girl was studying her.

“Seriously, you’re scared of a kid?” Harley’s words made her really look at the person and that just made her more worried. Given what she felt this girl was capable of destroying the world without even trying.

“How can you not feel that? The energy radiating from her should be enough that even you should feel it.” Harley and Selina both just looked confused but the girl looked surprised.

“You can actually feel it?” Ivy just nodded. “I’ve never met anyone who could sense the Miraculous before. Whatever you sense though, I assure you I don’t mean any harm. There’s only one person I actually want to maim and I have a feeling when the time comes I won’t even be able to do that.” Well that was… odd. Even Harley was eyeing the girl like she had a screw loose.

“This is Ladybug. She’s a hero here in Paris.” Well that at least explained why she was late. “She’s asked me to hold off on my transaction until it leaves Paris.”

“And you agreed? She’s just going to go to the cops and make things more difficult for you later.” Harley’s words caused anger and hurt to flash across her expression before she controlled it.

“I said I wouldn’t. They wouldn’t take me seriously if I did anyway.” Now she saw why Selina brought her back with her. The girl looked like a stray cat. The stiff way she held herself was exactly like a cat who’d learned that people can’t be trusted, but she refused to run or show fear either. Then Ivy noticed the girls hair and eyes and almost groaned out loud. Selina had been spending so much time with her boyfriend that she was picking up his adoption preferences.

“I wanted to talk with her more about what’s going on here in Paris. We should order food since I have a feeling it’s going to be a long discussion.” Ivy saw the girl's cheeks turn pink and took the time to really look at her. She was the kind of thin that came from not eating rather than just being fit. Her mask hid any bags that might be under her eyes, but even standing still her body was swaying a little. The girl looked like she was about to pass out.

“Of course. Here, have a seat.” Ivy made chairs out of plants for everyone and the girl's face went completely blank before she turned to Selina.

“Is that normal for her?” Harley just started giggling but Selina gave Ladybug a sympathetic smile.

“Yes, Ivy has the power to control plants.” Ladybug let out a relieved sigh.

“Thank Kwami. I don’t think I’m up for another Akuma today.” Ivy shared a confused look with Harley. What the hell was an Akuma?

“You’re fighting people that control plants?” The girl blinked at her in confusion for a moment before understanding dawned.

“No, it’s complicated. I haven’t had to explain this to someone in a long time so I might not make much sense.” She sat while Harley went to order food. Ivy sat across from her and noticed how she melted into the seat. She obviously wasn’t used to being comfortable. When Harley came back in the room they were about to start asking questions when a little black cat shaped creature appeared. It was emitting just as much power as the girl.

“I don’t suppose any of you are willing to spring for camembert?” Harley gave out a squeak of surprise but Catwoman just looked stunned.

“Plagg! Are you out of your mind? Not to mention how rude it is.” Ladybug couldn’t seem to decide whether to be annoyed or embarrassed.

“Given that this one steals for a living I doubt they stand on good manners. Besides, you don’t know if you don’t ask.” The cheeky tone caused an eye twitch in the girl.

“What exactly is that?” Selina hadn’t stopped staring at the creature.

“I’m Plagg, Kwami of Destruction. I power the Black Cat Miraculous.” The girl actually threw her hands up in frustration.

“Tikki’s going to kill us both. Of all the people you could have decided to come out for why would you choose criminals?” Poor kid sounded close to tears and the creature flew up under her chin and started purring. Selina was grinning like a mad woman. Ivy had a feeling things were about to get a lot more complicated.

“Everything will be fine Bug, you’ll see. I’m the Kwami of bad luck and I can feel yours shifting.”

“I thought you said you were the Kwami of Destruction?” Selina sounded far too amused. Ivy shook her head at the woman. She still didn’t understand how no one else could feel the danger here.

“I’m both, just as Tikki is the Kwami of Creation and Good Luck, which is the Miraculous that gives Ladybug her powers.” The Kwami suddenly flew right up to Ivy to study her. “You’re an interesting being. Your abilities are inherently creation but you use them to destroy as well. She could be a good influence for you Bug.” Ladybug let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“I’m not using your powers to smite the people you think have wronged me Plagg. And I would really like to stop having this argument.”

“You act like it’s an opinion rather than a fact. Even Tikki agrees with me there.” The Kwami sounded indignant and more than a little angry. The energy around it was getting steadily stronger. They really needed to divert it’s attention.

“What were you saying about camembert?” The Kwami perked up immediately but Ladybug cringed.

“Kwami need food to recharge and while just about anything will do in a pinch they each have favorites. Plagg’s favorite is extremely smelly and extremely pricy cheese. Which I haven’t been able to provide for awhile now.” Plagg’s expression dropped at her tone.

“Oh kit, it’s not your fault.” The creature flew back to her and began purring again. Ladybug wouldn’t look anyone in the eye but Ivy could feel the guilt and worry coming from her. Whatever was going on this kid needed a break.

“I just need to go change. Then I can run to the store while we wait for the rest of the food.” Plagg looked ecstatic at Selina’s announcement. Ladybug looked mostly worried but there was a bit of relief under that.

“I wasn’t kidding when I said it was expensive. I feel bad enough, don’t let them guilt you into buying something that isn’t really necessary.” Selina scoffed.

“I know exactly how temperamental some creatures are about food and given Ivy’s reaction I’d like to stay on their good side for the moment. Besides, the money isn’t an issue.” She was walking out of the room before the girl could respond. Instead she frowned at Plagg who was still looking after Selina.

“I thought we agreed no more surprises.”

“Tikki and Wayzz agreed, I didn’t. Besides, an opportunity is presenting itself that we don’t want to miss.” Ivy shared a confused look with Harley, who just shrugged at her. Ladybug seemed just as clueless about what they meant. That couldn’t be a good thing.

AO3 Next

#Gotham Sirens #MLB DC Crossover #marinette dupain cheng #Selina Kyle #Harley Quinn #Poision Ivy #mom squad

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aeonghaseyo · 3 years ago

Text

Under the Streetlight - Alexandra Trese x Reader

Song fic based on the song “Mixtape: OH” by Stray Kids

A/N: It’s actually my first time writing a song fic, and one using the English translation of a K-pop song I love so much. Please stream Mixtape: OH in Youtube! Btw, I tried my best for the reader to be of any gender haha

T/W: imagery of blood

-----

You were just a college student in Manila, trying to get by this one year in your program that seemed as if it was out to kill you. Why not though, with all the shit ton of schoolwork you had to do as well as org work you willingly volunteered to do?

As you waited by a jeepney stop by a streetlight that might as well have been like a spotlight hovering upon you, you pondered upon a lot of things in your head and stopped to make a note to yourself.

‘Note to self: I should really work on saying no once in a while. If I say yes to so much work during this sem I might be dead faster than I think.’

Even making this note to yourself made you feel stressed all the more, with your body automatically fidgeting, and you, conscious enough of your own habits when faced with stress and anxiety, tried your best to fend it off either by forcing yourself to stay still or by letting your thoughts wander to more exciting scenarios.

One scenario in mind played: you on your knees under that same streetlight, with a woman clad in a black coat wielding a curved blade that seemed to gleam its own light even in the darkness. This undaunted, short-haired lady in a defensive stance, aiming to keep you from being kidnapped by the aswang in your area that would risk even the secrecy of their existence in the estero’s out of hunger they never bothered to control. Your entrails would have been their main course, and your soul their dessert, until the infamous Alexandra Trese came to your rescue within a split-second, not even giving you time to scream out loud for help.

As there were only two of the aswang who were going to salvage you to satisfy their hunger pangs, it only took mere moments for Alexandra to take them both down without a drop of blood on you. Even while she was splashed with blood, you looked upon her in awe and admiration.

The mere thought of her figure post-rampage painted your cheeks red, as you also recalled the memory of her holding out a hand to you to help you up. The fear brought about by that near-death-by-aswang experience really made you literally weak on your knees, so at first you struggled to stand up right after you shakily gripped her hand.

When I get my hands on you

When I set my eyes on you

I get breathless and I’ve never felt this way before

I can’t explain this

It feels so different

So I want it more

No doubt, something coursed through you back then that made you gain just a little bit of strength to momentarily stand on your own two feet. You had that strength, alright, but you didn’t look it with the paleness of your face giving your state of weakness away to the woman in front of you.

“You’re safe now, you don’t have to be scared,” you heard Alexandra reassure you, and once again your knees were jelly.

So you stumbled.

Blessed by her swift reflexes, your savior caught you effortlessly, and you couldn’t help but hold on to her arms and look into her unwavering black orbs. Another moment passed as she helped you back on your own two feet, her hands still on your shoulders as if to give you a sense of security amidst a relatively dangerous area.

You muttered an “I-i’m so sorry, ma’am,” to which the babaylan-mandirigma corrected you, “Call me Alex. You don’t look well enough to commute, and the streets are especially dangerous at this time of night. Let me take you home.”

I just want to whine

I’ll stop being calculative

I want you to notice how I am feeling

As if you would notice that I was lying

I don’t want to just be around you like the scent

She saved your ass from being a part of the aswang’s menu, and you thought that was just the bare minimum you deserved at that moment. You clearly didn’t expect her to help you up while you were definitely still weak on your knees, and you didn’t expect her to suddenly take you home.

So your mind momentarily went blank.

Just like a PC that has been restarted, you began processing Alexandra’s offer to take you back home, and your feel yourself getting conflicted between letting her take you home for you to finally let another person help you from the ordeal you had sustained, or refusing her help just so you could prove you can still handle your own.

But you were left with no choice as Alexandra said, “I insist. You’re much safer with me.”

With one speechless nod from you, she led you to the car where her two bodyguards were waiting and helped you settle at the back of the car, where she usually took her place.

I thought I knew

I was so confident that I knew everything

But I didn’t know, with you

As I get close to you, it gets more complicated

Even when I have something to say, my head goes blank

At the end of the day, I’m saying just meaningless words

“Another rampage, bossing?” one of the bodyguards, who was driving the black Sedan you were in, asked. “Those aswang sure are relentless.”

“At least you didn’t need to call us for help though,” remarked the other bodyguard, who looked like he was the twin of the man who spoke earlier.

Right beside you, Alexandra let out a sigh for self-relief and responded, “Those aswang were easy prey. They were reckless enough to just corner a helpless passerby out in the night without any calculated plan of attack.”

The long-haired man at the wheel then replied, “Too hungry to even think, eh? ‘Yan tuloy.”

You paid no mind to the rest of the conversation between Alexandra and her bodyguards, instead finding yourself thinking about how secure you felt as the babaylan-mandirigma helped you up on your feet earlier under that streetlight. To you, her expression was nonchalantly serious, with a slight hint of concern that never escaped your perception.

That concern never appeared for your eyes to see, but you felt it. It was there. Just for you, at that very moment after she saved you.

The train of thought halted to a stop in your head as Alexandra finally turned to you and said, “I never got your name. Do you want to tell me what it is?”

Turning to her with an expression akin to that of a child talking to their first crush, you stuttered, “I-it’s (Y/N). T-thanks again, for s-saving me back there, I t-thought I was gonna be a goner!”

Her eyes never leaving your form, she then replied, “It was a relief that I got to you before those monsters did.”

“Serves me right for waiting for a jeepney at an area without people, huh?” you remarked with a nervous chuckle, as a sign that you’ve finally found your keenness in freely attempting a conversation with Alexandra Trese, of all people.

You thought she would reply to what you would refer to as a careless remark, but it seemed that you were wrong as one of the twin bodyguards replied to you instead.

“You were easy bait for those aswang, but no worries. Bossing got to you just in time.”

When I hold your hand

I feel like being a baby again

And I go whining and saying, “Don’t look at me like that”

I look you in the eye and take one step closer to you

No matter how much I plan and prepare

When I’m with you, I’m just a baby

Finally arriving at your place, Alexandra ordered her bodyguards to wait for her by the Sedan and turned to walk you to the front entrance. Out of gratitude, you finally mustered to thank your savior once again, which she answered with a nod and her replying, “Take care of yourself next time,” before she finally turned to where her vehicle was parked.

You felt your heart sink then as she walked to the car by herself. What has gotten into you? She just saved you from an aswang attack, as is her duty as the mediator between humanity and the creatures of the underworld, and she probably doesn’t have the luxury of time to be the subject of anyone’s interest or courtship. So what was the matter? Why were you feeling as if you wanted, scratch that, needed to see her again?

Countless times before, you swore to yourself that you were the type of person not to fall for just anyone, regardless of how extraordinary they seem, regardless of whether they stood out in your eyes or not, out of fear of this weakness being exploited anyway and you being set up for disappointment in the long run. No, you would never let fragility get the best of you just because someone outright snagged you from a close call of an aswang attack.

Regardless of your distaste for showing weakness, that beating heart of yours nagged at you to call out her name and spend a few more seconds with her anyway.

Driven by your own resounding heartbeat, you called out to her while race-walking towards her, “Alex!”

Ey (I’m a)

Can I call you baby?

Ey (I’m a)

In front of love, I’m just a baby

Just like that, you got her phone number, along with a reminder from her to call her when you need help with anything out of the ordinary, which is pretty much another way of referring to supernatural occurrences or anything involving the supernatural realm.

Under that same spotlight by the jeepney stop at night, still alone, you exited to your phone’s main menu and find your thumb almost grazing the contacts icon at the bottom of your screen. You pressed on that Contacts icon and found Alexandra Trese’s name right under the “A” list in your contacts, underneath a bunch of registered numbers without any proper names to them. With longing, you stared at that name along with her number.

‘I have your number, Alex. Can I call you anytime then, even when I’m not in trouble?’

I know I shouldn’t whine about it

I know it well that you’re everything in my mind

My heart wants you

I want your love

This feeling is so toxic

You’re the only antidote

“Fancy seeing you here again, (Y/N).”

The heart that was already fluttering in your chest skipped a beat upon hearing that familiar voice. Quickly, you turned to the owner of that special voice right beside you, belonging to none other than the person who has been plaguing your thoughts since that fateful night. As if by instinct, you smiled lightly and greeted her, “It’s good to see you again here, Alex. What brings you here tonight?”

I’m sure about my feelings but I can’t control them

The way I talk to you, treat you, and behave towards you

Is so immature

Mature person, Mature love

Mature man, I thought it would be easy

Everything is difficult in front of you

Alexandra filled you in on her agenda for tonight, “I was wondering if there was going to be something unusual happening tonight that concerned the aswang clans that have gone out of control. Strangely, nothing has been happening in this particular street, unlike the last time I saw you here.”

Your (e/c) orbs gone soft, you looked upon her as you replied with a chuckle, “And then you found me instead.”

Her own eyes slightly widened, the woman before you cleared her throat and answered, “Yes I did. And I’m relieved to know you’re safe tonight.”

Time passed, and the silence between you and Alexandra remained as she stayed vigilant and prepared for a possible aswang attack that could happen right where the two of you were standing right now. Worried, you checked the digital clock on your phone once again, which read, “11:43 PM.” Upon being aware that it was actually past your bedtime, your features manifested a look of both worry and frustration, and Alexandra seemed to have noticed it herself.

“Are you okay, (Y/N)?”

“I am, it’s just,” you let out a tiny whimper as you continued, “it’s past my bedtime already, I had to stay behind in school to help out with an org activity the day after, and I haven’t even studied for my exam tomorrow. I hate it when I can’t ride a jeepney right away going home.”

Hold your horses. Did you just rant to Alexandra Trese about your current predicament?

What should I do?

Am I under the illusion?

Will this end easily?

(Oh na na na na what should I do)

Closer (Oh na na na na what should I do)

I want to come to you and get to you

Out of embarrassment from the complaint you just uttered to the person who once saved you from the aswang, the person who brought you home out of kindness, the person you have admired for a long time but never had the chance to tell out of fear of rejection and quite possibly your own consideration for her duties to both the human and otherworldly realms, warm blood rushed to your cheeks and you covered your face as you apologized, “Sorry Alex, I didn’t mean to bother you about my own personal troubles. I can handle it by myself, I promise.”

A hand on your shoulder finally prompted you to look right at her, your head finally unobscured by the hands which formerly shrouded the remains of your embarrassed demeanor.

“Want me to take you home again, (Y/N)?”

This was your one chance to be with this one hell of a woman yet again, like the last time you both were under that same streetlight by the jeepney stop.

What made the current circumstance different from before was that you were not afraid to accept her offer this time. You were hell-bent on getting Alexandra to remember you as much as you continued to remember her and savor that special memory with her.

(Baby)

(I want to come to you and get to you)

No matter how much I plan and prepare

When I’m with you, I’m just a

With an unexplained expression driven by a growing fondness for the babaylan-mandirigma before you, you finally replied to her, “Of course Alex. Thanks again, I appreciate it so much.”

Alexandra then took you by the hand and led her to where that same black Sedan was parked. Cherishing the warmth of her hand, you slightly tightened your hold as if to say, ‘I love holding your hand, and I don’t plan on letting it go anytime.’

I look you in the eye and take one step closer to you

No matter how much I plan and prepare

When I’m with you, I’m just a baby

Ey (I’m a)

Can I call you baby?

Ey (I’m a)

In front of love

I’m just a baby

#trese #alexandra trese #alexandra x reader #alexandra trese x reader #trese komiks #trese netflix #trese x reader #trese fanfic #trese fanfiction #fanfiction

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takuyakistall · 4 years ago

Text

summary: a mountain deity meets a suspicious eel.

length: 5k+

taku’s notes: ah, I finally posted this. It was meant to be posted for a previous milestone but it was delayed, but here it is now jbhjfb I may have gotten carried away with this when I first thought of the AU;;; also !! special thanks to ghostie and rui for helping me with this. If you see this, ily !! this also a three way collab with sven and @xxunrxvelingxx !! please check out their fics when they post it hehe~ they’ll be making separate fics that will go along with our agreed theme which is legends and myths from our home countries. In my case, this was inspired by the story of Maria Makiling!

"I have provided you everything the mountain has to offer and yet you greedy humans still want more?“ The thunder boomed, matching your footsteps as you made your way to sit on a log stool. Crossing your legs, you said, “I’ve had enough of you humans trying to steal my valuables.” Rain suddenly started to pour down, soaking the four men standing in front of the mountain deity.

They were shaking in fear as they saw the look you were giving them, they heard that you were usually a gentle and kind person who had never laid a hand on the village folk who lived on the mountain. They scrambled to their feet, with pitiful expressions on their faces as they desperately tried to run away. You made no effort to chase them as you already knew there was no way they would make it back alive. This mountain is your domain, surely they would get lost and stay trapped here forever.

You were usually a kind being but you would spare no mercy for those who enter the mountain with malicious intentions. The locals knew better than to do that but — unfortunately, those men who tried to steal from you were foreigners.

Your rage didn’t go away instead, it had gotten stronger. The rain was getting heavier, a flood was ready to form and an earthquake was about to start. There was no room for the village folk inside your head, your rage had overruled every moral you once upheld. It was cruel of you to bring these disasters to innocent people — however, nobody would dare to cross you ever again. They knew that angering a deity was never a bright idea, especially if they still had plans to live.

“Hah… Foolish humans..! Always scurrying around, striving to attack me and rob me of my riches. In the end, they’ll just meet their doom.”

There was something off about the man who entered the mountain. It seemed like he was struggling to walk. The rage you felt days ago has now disappeared and you felt the need to help the struggling man. You jumped off a tree branch you were sitting on to get a better look on his face — heterochromic eyes, it was unusual to see those around here, especially when you had isolated yourself in the mountains. He had teal hair with a darker and longer strand framing the left side of his face. He was beautiful, your breath was taken away the moment you laid your eyes upon him.

Then you finally decide to appear in front of him. His senses did not pick up your presence since he was too busy trying to regain his balance. When he finally looked ahead and saw you, his eyes widened and slipped.

“Ah-!” He was about to fall. He still wasn’t used to being able to walk on land, his balance was still sloppy and the way he walked was unnatural. Ever since his tail turned into human legs, he’s been walking aimlessly on land with nothing but a dirty tunic on. He had nobody to teach him about how land folks act or lived, he quickly became an outcast among the villagers by the mountain, which sparked your curiosity.

“..! Be more careful!” You grabbed his hand before he could fall, pulling him up to safety. He finally got a proper look at his saviour and the sight took his breath away. Were you the mountain deity they talked about back in the village? He kept a straight face while trying to connect the dots in his head. Weren’t you the reason he tried to climb the mountain? The blue haired man couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle, “Forgive me, it seems that I’m still not accustomed to my newly acquired legs.” He spoke in a gentlemanly manner which surprises you. Maybe it was because of his dirty tunic that you thought he was going to be a bit more rough around the edges. You knew it was bad to judge a book by its cover and yet you still couldn’t help but do it anyway.

“What’s your name?” The cold tone in your voice sent shivers to the man’s spine, surely you had the aura of a deity! He heard the rumours about the gentle and kind lady up in the mountains, but it seemed like you were still kind of ticked off by the last incident he heard about. The man put his hand by his chest and introduced himself with a smile, “I go by Jade, Jade Leech. Would the lovely lady also do the honor of giving me her name?” It was faint but you noticed it — he was dangerous.

It didn’t take long for you to become attached to Jade, he charmed you the moment you met. Your first meeting consisted of you asking Jade a few questions about himself while walking through the woods. You discovered that Jade originally had no legs, thus his lack of ability to be able to walk properly. You offered him help and thankfully, he was a fast learner when provided with guidance. In less than a day, he had already mastered how to walk with his own two legs.

You were bound to the mountain, you could never leave because you are its guardian. Shall you ever try to leave, your body would run out of oxygen and pass. It seems like Jade was a little fond of your company as he went back up in the mountains the following day.

He was still wearing the dirty tunic when he came to visit you today, you had seen this coming so you had a nearby pixie fetch you some clothes for the tall man. When you handed the clothes to him, he couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, he was intimidated by your cold demeanor yesterday but today it seemed like you were finally fitting the positive rumours surrounding you. A kind and gentle lady who would often go to the village to give your blessings. “Thank you,” Jade hummed out, straying far from you to change into the clothes you gave him. You felt your cheeks flare up a bit when he gave you a smile. You couldn’t help but wonder how this blooming friendship of yours would end. After all, he’s just a mortal, isn’t he?

28 days remain.

“Oya, a new mushroom to add my collection.” Jade was delighted as he crouched down to examine the newly found mushrooms on the ground. You mentally compare the current Jade you know to the Jade you first met — it seemed like he was an entirely different person. He picks up land dwellers’ qualities and habits fast and now you wouldn’t even dare think about how this man didn’t know how to walk properly just a week ago!

You tried to introduce him to a lot of things the mountain has to offer and yet somehow, he found himself climbing up the mountain on a daily basis just to see you. The village folk were a bit skeptical due to his odd behavior and at his sudden transformation, but they soon dropped the gossip when someone told them the both of you were lovers. It was a ridiculous thought but you never said anything when you saw how they had treated Jade better.

The more time you spent with him, the more you felt these complicated feelings, like your heart was tied to a knot. The way he smiled at you made it feel like your heart was being squeezed, and the way his eyes sparkled when he talked about mushrooms was simply too adorable! You noticed all the little things about Jade and it made you wonder about how you were going to label these feelings you have for him. You liked to believe that you know everything about the world, but the world loves proving you wrong. You were still naive, even if you are a deity.

21 days remain.

“You’ve gotten better at acting like a land dweller.” Your cold tone made it clear to Jade that something definitely happened to piss you off while he was away. Perhaps it was another human trying to rob you of your riches? Or to take your head as a trophy? No. Jade shook his head at the thought of someone trying to harm you. After all, it is impossible to do so.

For the past few weeks, he has somehow grown accustomed to your sudden coldness and harsh tones. The people that heard of the mountain deity’s treasures have increased and were bold enough to challenge themselves against you. They gathered into groups and shouted out insults directed at you. You had neither time nor patience to deal with every pest that was bold enough to threaten you, so you had the mountain itself deal with them. If they entered the mountain, they would surely get lost and never be seen again due to natural reasons.

The only reason why Jade and a few villagers were able to enter the mountain and get back unharmed is because you let them. The moment you sense malicious intent directed at you — they would be disposed of. You were merciless when it came to matters regarding your life and the state of the mountain. Jade knew that, both of you spent enough time together for him to know these kinds of things. With slow steps, Jade approached you, his usual smile was absent and this surprised you a bit. His expression was serious while cupping your cheek with his bare hands, it was warm. You found yourself rub your cheek against his comforting touch, he knew exactly what you were feeling and this reassured you. Jade pulled back his hand and placed it on your head instead, ruffling your hair a bit, “Have you been resting well?”

Truth be told, you haven’t gotten a wink of sleep ever since the attacks increased. Your guard was always up and a chance to sleep never came. However, when Jade ruffled your hair, every muscle in your body relaxed, you fought the urge to close your eyes. Jade didn’t fail to notice your tired state and sat beside you on the log stool that was big enough to hold the two of you. He made you lean against his broad shoulder while stroking your head, his comforting touch making you go closer and closer to your desired rest. You closed your eyes and drifted into sleep, not hearing Jade’s endearing words “Sleep well, My beloved.”

14 days remain.

“Have you done it yet?” Jade entered his temporary lodging to see a beautiful young woman with long black hair sitting on his bed. Jade’s warm eyes turned cold as he glared at the woman who intruded his home. Jade didn’t bother to put up the gentlemanly act anymore. He lunged forward towards the woman and wrapped his fingers around her neck, lifting her smaller figure up in the air as Jade squeezed her neck. The woman was letting out choked noises as Jade continued to give her a cold glare. “W-Wait!” She managed to let out a word, Jade stopped for a moment. “You still need me, you can’t kill me.” The panicked and pained expression on the woman’s face brought immense pleasure to Jade. Oh how he loathed this woman! Jade was ready to snap her neck, staring coldly into her eyes as he squeezed her neck a bit more before suddenly letting go. The woman fell to the ground, hacking out coughs as she tried to regain oxygen in her system. Jade’s unusual rage has calmed down a bit after thinking rationally, he went into his kitchen and brought out some teacups, “Would you like some tea?”

The sweet aroma filled the cozy house as Jade delicately poured tea into the teacups. The woman sitting across him had a suspicious look, staring at the teacup. “Oh, please go ahead. Don’t be shy.” Jade insisted, an eerily calm smile decorating his face, as though the earlier events hadn’t happened at all. “It’s not poisoned, is it? I know how badly you want me dead but,” the woman pushed away the teacup, crossing her legs and arms as a confident look suddenly decorated her face. “If you still want your precious twin brother to live, I suggest you shouldn’t kill me.” Jade’s gentlemanly smile curled up into a big smirk as he set down his teacup, “And what made you think that I still needed you to do so? You’re basically useless.“

For a moment, the woman shot Jade a terrified look. She knew that Jade was capable of killing her at any given time, she had to think of an excuse to stay alive. “You won’t be able to use the deity’s heart to cure Floyd without me.” It was true. Even if Jade has gotten the deity’s heart right in his palms, he wouldn’t be able to use it to treat Floyd’s condition. Jade frowned upon hearing the words ‘deity’s heart’. It was the only reason why Jade approached you, he was skillful in deceiving others and masking his true intentions. Though it seemed like his mask was slowly breaking the more time he spent with you. It was true that he was fond of you — very fond but Jade wouldn’t allow himself to admit the feelings he held for you.

If he ever admitted to himself that he fell in love with you, it would just pain him more thinking about the cruel acts he was about to commit. “I’m close to obtaining her heart. Once I get my hands on it, we’re going back to the Coral Sea immediately.” His monotonous voice scared the woman a bit, how could he be so calm when he’s about to betray a deity? “Got it, witch?” Jade coldly asked the woman. The said woman snapped out of her daze and refuted, “Don’t call me that, I told you, my name is-"

"Do I look like I care?”

7 days remain.

“Dancing? When did you learn how to dance, Jade?” Jade only let out a mere chuckle as you gave him a curious glance. You looked better than before — the color of your face was slowly coming back thanks to Jade. His presence soothed you and you couldn’t help but let your guard down — you trust him. It has only been a month since the two of you met but you would already trust him with your life. What is this feeling…? What did humans call it again? Attachment..? Or was it fondness…or love? You didn’t know the answer. The moonlight shined upon both of your figures sitting down on the grass. “Do you underestimate me that much?” A teasing smirk appeared on his face, you panicked for a moment because deep down, you actually did underestimate him a bit. You looked away from him, a light hue of pink dusting your cheeks. Shame rising up from the pit of your stomach.

“Oh my, it seems like I’ve gotten my answer. It’d be a lie if I said I wasn’t disappointed.” Jade faked tears, wiping them away dramatically as you giggled at his actions. Jade stood up from the grass, his polite smile never disappearing from his face. Even though he gave everyone that smile, you couldn’t help but feel like there was an underlying tone of feelings and affection he held for you. Yet, you brushed it off like it was nothing — still denying the fact that you were indeed falling in love with him. Jade outstretched his hand towards you, trying to help you up. At that moment, you couldn’t help but think that you were becoming so helpless around him.

Hesitantly, you took his hand as he helped you up to your feet. You stumbled forward a bit and lost your footing, almost falling had it not been for Jade who catched you before you fell. “Careful!” He warned you, wrapping his arms around your figure as you steadied your balance. You could feel his heart beating, you closed your eyes and allowed your head to lean into his chest — listening to nothing but the beat of his heart. Is this what it means to fall in love? Jade was taken aback for a moment, he didn’t expect you to suddenly rest your head against his chest while standing up. He let out a sigh as he wrapped his arms tighter around you, his gaze filled with an unexplainable fondness. Oh how he wished this moment lasted forever.

3 days remain

It was dangerous and weak of you to allow yourself to be comforted by the presence of a mere mortal, even the forest pixies told you this themselves. It was a huge mess in the mountains when Jade wasn’t here. You suddenly felt sad at the thought of the earlier events.

“Lady (Y/N)! Forgive our insolence but we are begging you to cut ties with that mortal.” the pixies bowed down, they didn’t dare to look into your eyes — fear evident in their expressions. The pixie who talked to you, Daphne, was the wisest of the bunch — she had stayed in the mountain for far longer than you have. It was safe to say that she was wiser than you but the one who holds the most power was you — the mountain deity. Daphne didn’t have a single hint of fear on her face as she held her head up high, her blue locks tucked behind her pointed ear as she stared at you.

Rage coursed through every part of your body as your harmless gaze at them suddenly turned hostile. The gravity suddenly weighed down on all of them, forcing them onto their knees except Daphne. Had it not been for her power she accumulated during the years she had lived, she would be most likely on her knees as well. “What did you just say, Daphne?” Your mind wasn’t in its best state due to the responsibilities you had to fulfill doubled, every living being in the mountain knew that and they could see how stressed you were through the mountain’s state. They noticed how the mountain would flourish a little whenever a certain teal haired mortal decided to visit you, they knew that he was a double edged sword to their deity. Though they knew that he was a potential threat to you, when they saw how happy you looked when you’re with him, they couldn’t help but let the both of you be.

“That mortal man named Jade- He’s not what you think he is.” Daphne calmly responded, she’d been suspicious of him from the very beginning. Those words made the raging flames in your heart burn stronger. You knew deep inside that she was right. You knew he held ill intent from the moment you first met yet you just- You just blindly ignored it like the fool you were. Yet you were reminded of the way he called you his beloved when he thought you were fast asleep, it was one of your sweetest memories with him. You can’t allow yourself to believe that the gentle fondness in his voice that night was all fake.

“He’s after your heart.”

Those words pierced you right through the heart, uncontrollable tears suddenly forming at the corner of your eyes. You wanted to tell them that he was a good man, that he loved you. Your gaze dropped down to the ground, unable to say anything. The mountain spoke for you. The flowers were withering at a lightning fast speed and so did the trees. The wild animals, some died and some were dying. The waters were drying up, and the ground was ready to collapse any time soon. You wanted to cry. Memories of last night came flooding back. The way he held you so close to him, when you listened to his heartbeat? It was all an act to get your heart?

Daphne wasn’t telling her the whole story, she just wanted Jade gone. She left out the part about Jade’s brother because she knew that being the lovesick fool you were — you would gladly give up your heart to him. She decided to fan the flames, “I… also saw a black haired woman in his house.” Daphne cringed at herself, she couldn’t believe what she was about to say. She glanced at your forlorn expression before continuing, “I think she might be his lover.” Everything seemed to stop at that very moment. You stopped wasting your tears, the thunder clapped. Daphne knew she messed up when she saw your expression — filled with burning rage.

“It’s for his dying brother.” A small pixie speaked out, receiving a harsh glare from Daphne when she did.

“Flora! You…!”

Everything stopped for a moment, you held a confused expression on your face as you signalled the small pixie named Flora to inch closer to you. You had hope that everything wasn’t a lie. There was nothing more you’ve ever wanted. You desperately wanted to believe that Jade wasn’t a cold blooded jerk that only approached you for your heart. “Tell me about his brother.” Your weak commanding tone made Flora’s heart shatter into pieces, she could tell how much pain you were in. Meekly, Flora started to explain to you the things she saw and heard when she went to follow Jade to the village; the black haired woman who was waiting for him at his home, the way how Jade choked her, the hateful expression on his face, the things they discussed over tea, and how Jade needed your heart to cure his poisoned twin brother. Flora didn’t leave out the fact that the woman with Jade was actually the one who poisoned his brother and how there were only a few days left before Jade goes back to his hometown.

You were oddly happy. Happy by the fact that everything might not turn out to be a lie and that the Jade you were so fond of was real. Though you were laughable, you were an idiot in love. Love…? Is this what they call this feeling? You loved Jade to the point that you forgave him. Even if he didn’t confess himself, you were willing to forgive him over and over again. You were a fool. The biggest fool in the whole damn mountain. Though if it was for Jade, the man who taught you love and the first man you ever loved, you didn’t mind being called a lovesick fool who ruined her own life.

2 days left

Jade was running out of time, he could feel his lungs having difficulty trying to breathe as he climbed the mountain. The potion was wearing off and he needed to get your heart and return to the sea now — but he didn’t want to leave, he didn’t want his time with you to end just yet. He wanted more time with you. However, his brother comes first before anything else, including you. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he just abandoned Floyd just like that — it would be unacceptable. Jade’s heart was in deep turmoil as he took a step after the other, why didn’t he.. want to leave you? He stopped in his tracks, his hand clutching his chest tightly as he felt like his heart was being squeezed. He didn’t want to admit it — he would never. If he did, he would never be able to go back to the sea. He continued walking towards your usual meeting area.

The frown on his face immediately lightened up into a small smile when he saw your figure fiddling with a bunch of leaves. As he went closer, he could notice that you were crying. He kneeled down next to you and asked, “…Are you okay?” gently, Jade tried to place his hand on your shoulder as a form of comfort. You flinched, moving back a bit from his touch and accidentally hitting your head against a tree branch in the process. Jade quickly tried to pull you close to him to inspect what might be a wound on your head. Yet you- you desperately tried to avoid any form of contact with him, your lips sealed shut as you walked away from him to sit on a stone stool. Jade’s heart broke a little.

You were still trying to compose yourself, tomorrow was your last day with him. You could already see him getting paler and weaker, his withdrawals were getting worse. You needed to think of something, anything. You were going to let him go today, he can have more time to go back to the sea. So he can live. Yet a huge part of you is screaming ‘Don’t!’ You felt weak and afraid, you didn’t know what choice to make but deep down you knew what was the right decision. Mustering up enough courage, your breath shaky, you spoke up. “Jade."

Jade had never heard you sound so helpless, your voice was shaking, eyes brimming with tears. What happened to you? It was a bit of a shock, for you to call out his voice with such a painfully sad expression on your face. He wanted to know how he could make you feel better, he was about to wrap his arms around you again but he quickly retracted his arm when he remembered how you reacted earlier. So he kept his distance. "Yes…?” He anticipated your next words, hands shaking — his body was slowly turning back. He needed water but he forced himself to stay still and endure the painful withdrawal that came with it.

You clasped your hands together, muttering a short chant under your breath as something in between your hands started to glow. A single shard of what seemed to be like a gemstone — a piece of jade. It was your heart, clearly influenced by your undeniable feelings for this man you met less than a month ago. Your jaded heart, it was what Jade was after all this time. Once it was in your hands, you clasped it tightly one more time before facing Jade. Tears blurring your vision, “Just… take it.”

Jade’s blood went cold, how…? Did you finally figure out his true intentions? Are you mad? Countless questions popped up inside his mind and his heart rate going faster by the second as he tried to make sense of the situation. Will he lie one more time? Or will he grab the golden opportunity in front of him? Before he could make a decision, he abandoned all sense of reason and pulled you into a passionate kiss. You were caught off guard, yet you kissed him back without any hint of hesitation at all. Your faces so close — your tears started to mix and you didn’t want to let go of him. Neither did he. After pulling away from your heated kiss, he finally managed to mutter out the words he was so afraid of saying.

“I love you.”

1 day remains

The cool breeze caressed Jade’s cheek as he ran through the forest, your heart grasped tightly in his hand as he desperately gasped for air. He needed to get back, now. The black haired woman from the other day was already ahead of him, looking back occasionally at Jade to make sure he wasn’t dead from the withdrawal symptoms. Memories of last night weighed so much in Jade’s mind, he felt like he was choking as he ran — his legs heavy as he started to sweat more than usual. Yet he didn’t stop running, you gave him this chance to let him and his brother live and he was not about to let it go to waste. He ran and ran and ran until he could finally see the sea.

Jade immediately jumped into the water, taking in the familiar feeling of being submerged in water once again — not once did his grip loosen around your heart. He allowed himself to breathe for a moment, letting the transformation take its place as his legs turned into a tail. He was slowly letting himself sink to the bottom of the sea, nobody could tell that he was crying from the wet environment of the sea.

One look at Jade and you can immediately tell that he was empty, void of emotion as he stared at your heart — placing a gentle kiss on it as he muttered under his breath, “Perhaps in another life, we could be lovers once again."

This is a story about how a foolish mountain deity sacrificed her heart, the very core of her being, to a mere mortal. A story about how cruel fate can be, and how it ruined them. The ending? The mountain deity fell into an eternal slumber after giving her heart up to her lover, unable to wake up after hundreds of years. The mortal man cured his brother and lived a somewhat happy life, longing to see his beloved deity once again on land and was killed after multiple attempts of going to land.

Perhaps things would’ve been different if they made different choices, perhaps they’d be happily living as a couple now but fate is not so nice, no? There is no happy ending for this disastrous pair, only ruin awaits them if they were to ever meet again in their next lives. They were both fools in the end.

"Eh~? Jade, Jade~! Did you hear about the transfer student coming today?” Floyd made grabby hands at Jade, excitement bubbling up from the pit of his stomach, will he find another person to squeeze? Jade let out a sigh, seemingly uninterested in the topic but decided to entertain Floyd. “Yes, it does make me feel a bit excited, fufu~”

The class silenced down so quickly, your footsteps towards the class stage could be heard.

“Hello everyone, my name is (Y/N) (L/N)! Nice to meet you all!"

Jade’s eyes gleamed with growing intrigue, why did you seem familiar to him in some way? He didn’t dwell on that for long though, he just decided that if fate decided to make you a part of his life, then so be it.

And it begins all over again.

#self indulgent takoyaki #hahaha more jade #twst writing #twst #twst x reader #angst #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland jade #jade leech x reader #twst jade #jade #jade leech #fem!reader

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danipixel · 4 years ago

Text

Wherever the Force May Go pt3

Tags: Tags: @maulieber @botherbother-blog @spookiifi @zabrak-show @alicedoestheinternet @rogue-wonderful

Summary: The new business opportunity on Mandalore isn’t exactly panning out as planned. Daia’s new employer doesn’t trust her at all. Tempers flare and she makes a decision that will decide if she remains welcome, or faces the wrath of Maul and Death Watch.

Part 1 Part 2

The bright Mandalorian sunrise filtered through the windows of Daia’s room slowly beckoning her back to consciousness. Blinking the sleep from her eyes as she sat up, she surveyed her surroundings to get recenter herself. She was still in Sundari palace and the room still looked like a thermal detonator went off in it. Standing up from the bed she let out a groan as all of her muscles protested the movement. “Ah shit. Okay so yesterday really did happen.” She quickly dressed herself and worked on making herself look presentable.

A loud pounding on the door interrupted her morning routine. The door then slid open revealing Savage surrounded by an air of impatience. “Get up. You’re expected at the morning briefings.”

“Just a moment, I’m almost done.” She set about fetching her boots from the pile she’d left them in the previous night. “You could have waited more than 5 seconds before opening the door, you know. I could have been indecent.” Savage snorted and rolled his eyes. She finished pulling on her boots and placing her weapons in their usual homes, with her blaster prominently displayed. There had been no indication as to what would be expected of her today besides to learn, so she might as well look like she belonged among the Mando’ade. If Death Watch was anything like they used to be, they held more respect for those that armed themselves. “Okay, ready.”

Savage led her down the long hallways of the palace at a quick pace. His long strides forced Daia to slightly jog in order to keep up with him. They walked the halls in silence for a few minutes before Daia finally broke the quiet. “It’s Savage, right?”

He momentarily flicked his eyes in her direction before answering. “Yes.” An answer is better than being ignored, I guess.

She took a deep breath before speaking again. “Does Death Watch know about me? I mean, they obviously know I exist but, do they know I used to be a Jedi?” Savage still would not look in her direction while speaking. “They know what you told them. Why does it matter?” There’s the million credit question.

Her hands ran over her face a few times before she had a semblance of an answer for him. “Things get...complicated when people find out. Especially when they’re Mandalorian.” Exactly one member of Death Watch had found out about her past before, and had immediately tried to kill Daia for it. That woman was now a corpse in Concordia’s forests. Mandalorian distrust of Force users runs deep.

Savage finally glanced at her but never broke his stride. He didn’t seem to understand her dislike of revealing her past to most people. “Death Watch remains unaware. Hide what you are if you wish, Jedi.”

“Not a Jedi.” Daia whispered to herself. The two continued down the halls of the palace. Her mind unfocused, Daia kept trying to find anything to keep her mind busy. Patience and quiet were never her strong suits. She settled on studying the man she was walking with. He was huge, that much was obvious. He carried himself with less grace than his brother but with the same confidence in his own power. Wait, how did I not notice this yesterday? Her eyes focused on his left arm as she realized the entire thing was synthetic. That was a detail she had failed to notice the previous day. Whatever life the two Zabrak had led before coming to Mandalore, it had obviously been a violent one. A sudden thought crossed her mind about the previous night’s… What even was that? An attack? A test?

She held her hand up to get his attention. “Hey, Savage. I want to apologize for last night.”

He fully looked at her after hearing her words. “What? Apologize for what?” He didn’t understand what there was to apologize for.

“For the table.” She gestured at her face and then at his. “I know we were fighting but still. Sorry about that.”

“Last night” Savage’s voice took a slightly threatening edge, “was not a fight.”

“You’re right. Had it been a real fight,” Daia stretched out her painfully sore arms. “one of us wouldn’t be here this morning.”

Savage stopped walking to turn and study her for a moment. Confusion and mild surprise painted his yellow and black features. “I accept your apology.” That’s it? He’s just fine?

The two rounded the corner into the familiar hallway that led to the throne room. The door slid open to the brightly lit throne room and it was already filled with people. Savage entered first nodding to his brother as he guided Daia to stand far to the side of the throne. Maul was at his rightful place in Mandalore’s throne, one leg thrown over the arm of his seat while he leaned on the other. Daia made momentary eye contact with him as she walked past and smiled. “Good morning. Sleep well?”

Maul studied her face a moment but didn’t respond to her. Instead he addressed the rest of the room while they took their seats. “Many of you met Daia after her...entrance yesterday morning. She will be joining us for these meetings for the time being.” He turned to pin her in place with his gaze. “Pay her presence no mind.”

Savage whispered to her before taking his place at Maul’s right hand. “Stay here and stay quiet.” She was beginning to feel more and more like a captive than an employee.

The meeting began with a wave of Maul’s hand. The first priorities of the day being domestic matters. Almec droned on and on for what felt like hours. While he kept talking, Daia took stock of who was in the room with her. Several members of Death Watch lined the room, acting as a palace guard force. Saxon and Kast stood near Maul with their helmets removed. Kast had changed her hairstyle since the last time Daia had seen her but that was no surprise. Saxon still looked like he had just eaten something sour. Can he make any other expressions? In the seats near Almec were two holographic figures. A Falleen and a Pyke. That was never a good combination to see. He’s got Black Sun and the Pykes working for him? Shit. Daia was unaware of just how much power Maul wielded from this world but it was obviously substantial. She took a quick glance over to the two brothers. They seemed just as bored as she was but Maul seemed to mask it better than both her and Savage.

After about a week of speaking, Almec finally surrendered the floor to someone else. Thank the Force, he’s done. It was Rook Kast’s turn to speak. “There are some new weapons we’ve been trying to get a hold of for weeks on Agamar. The Separatist fleet is still an obstacle.” Savage visibly perked up at the mention of weaponry but Maul only reacted with the slightest of expression change. Had she not been a Force user, Daia most certainly would have missed it. Maul had a greater amount of control over himself than his brother.

Maul shifted to lean forward in his seat. “Are these weapons something we truly need?” Mandalorians need weapons like they need air. Of course she’s gonna say yes.

Saxon stepped forward to answer for Kast. “My Lord Mand’alor, these weapons are more powerful than the ones we are currently equipped with and as our ranks increase, so too do our needs to arm them appropriately.”

Maul considered his soldier’s words for a moment before turning to the holograms before him. “What about Black Sun or the Pykes? Can your ships make it to the surface?” Daia snorted softly and rolled her eyes. The Pykes were drug lords. They didn’t care if they got caught. They’d just send more spice on a different ship. Black Sun was no better. They were brutes. Sure, they could provide capable soldiers and bounty hunters but they lacked the finesse needed to sneak past military vessels. He’s lucky he hired me.

The transparent Pyke spoke first. “There’s no guarantee of success but we will send the ships, my Lord.” They’ll just get caught. The Falleen also responded. “Our pilots will succeed when the Pykes fail.” Like hell they will.

Daia couldn’t keep quiet any longer. Maul was making a mistake by letting these two idiots try to get his shipments. She stepped forward from her place by the wall and addressed Maul specifically. “I can get those weapons for you. I’ve slipped past Separatists plenty of times before.”

Maul fixed her with a glare that could burn a hole through a star. “You will do no such thing.” He was clearly angry at the sudden interruption. Daia felt the Force flare out with his outburst. To his side, Savage narrowed his eyes with a similar look of displeasure.

She knew she was right and continued to press the matter “But you…” Maul quickly stood and threw her back to the wall and held her in place with the Force. “No. That is final.” He continued holding her in place as he stalked in her direction to snarl directly in her face. “Is that understood?” She felt her temper flare but let it go before she could do something else stupid. “Of course, Lord Mand’alor.” Maul released his hold on Daia and turned to return to his throne.

The rest of the meeting continued without incident. Daia stayed focused on Maul the entire time. The information being shared didn’t matter to her anymore. She was pissed and he knew it. There was no way he couldn’t feel it.

Once the meeting ended and those in attendance started to filter out of the throne room, Daia left her spot on the wall to leave as well. Maul quickly barked her name to stop her. I guess he’s not done. Fine. Quickly she made her way back to the throne and started talking before he could berate her. “You said I would start work today. Smuggling weapons past a Separatist fleet sounds an awful lot like what you hired me to do.”

Maul rose and immediately entered her personal space, never once letting go of her gaze. “I also told you that you are to remain in this city until I decide you may leave it.”

Daia’s eyes may have lacked the flaming appearance of Maul’s but the fire was certainly present regardless. “Very well Lord Mand’alor.” She dipped into an exaggerated bow. “Shall I inform you when I eat, bathe, and sleep as well? If there are no more restrictions on my movements, I’d like to go to my ship and let my job contacts know I’ll be unavailable for longer than I expected.”

A soft growl left Maul’s throat before he stepped back. “I expect you back here in the morning.” “Of course. Whatever my lord wishes, right?” She turned on her heels and strode back out of the throne room.

The long walk to her ship was thankfully uneventful, the only people she was forced to interact with being the same dock guards she’d seen the other day. Lowering the ramp of the Fever Dream, she trudged her way up and into the small freighter. Thoughts about how the last two days could have gone so wrong so fast had slowed her usual confident gait. Lost in thought she was suddenly in the cockpit in front of the long range communication console. The console was lit up to alert her to waiting messages. Pressing a couple buttons revealed a small holoprojection of a Rodian missing his left antennae. “Daia I asked around and I finally got a couple jobs for you. These are gonna get snatched up quick so get back to me asap.” Well shit. Aside from Death Watch, Skax always found the best paying work. It wasn’t always necessarily safe or completely legal but it kept plenty of credits in her hands and fuel in the ship.

With a sigh she sent a signal out to Corellia hoping the Rodian would answer. After a minute a similar holoprojection to before shimmered before her eyes. “Well if it isn’t my favorite pilot! You get my message?” If his joyful demeanor was anymore painted on, it would flake off his face.

“Yeah Skax. I got your message. Look, I’m gonna be unavailable for a while. I may have done something stupid.” May have was an understatement. The more she thought about it, the more certain she was that this whole trip had been a mistake. The Force had tried to warn her something was off but she didn’t listen.

Skax muttered in Rodese for a moment before switching back to Basic. “What do you mean unavailable? Is your ship damaged? That thing never breaks.” That’s because I don’t tell you how often I fix it.

Daia shook her head with a small insincere smile. “No, she’s not broken. I’m just gonna be grounded on Mandalore for a while. I’ll contact you when I can leave again.” With no indication as to how long she’d be stuck in Sundari, a while was the best answer she had.

The Rodian’s sickly pleasant demeanor finally dropped as he threw his arms in the air. “What the fuck are you even doing on Mandalore? I thought you stopped going back there months ago.”

“So did I. Look, I’m fine. I just can’t take any work right now. Let someone else have them. I’ll get in touch with you later. Try not to miss me too much.” She ended the transmission before he could argue with her. She knew he’d get over being cut off. He always did.

The second day of her extended stay at the palace began the same as the previous, with a pounding on her door, but this time Savage waited outside instead of forcing his way in. After a final check of her clothing and weapons she stuffed a large yellow fruit between her teeth and walked out the door after her chaperone. Walking down the hallway she finally took a bite of her breakfast. The fruit flooded her mouth with a bright sweet flavor that made her momentarily forget she was under house arrest. Savage’s words broke her silent reverie. “What is that?”

“This?” She held up the fruit in her hand. “A meiloorun. You can get them in every market from here to Coruscant. I love them.”

He just shrugged and shook his head at the unfamiliar fruit. He’s never had one? That won’t do at all. Carnivore or not, every sapient being had to try one at least once. “Hang on a second.” She pulled a small knife out of her pocket and Savage instinctively grabbed her wrist to stop her movements. “It’s for the fruit, not you. Knife’s not big enough anyway.” Once he let go of the vice grip on her wrist she cut the fruit in half and offered one to Savage. “Here. It’s illegal to be a grown man and have never tried it once.”

Savage looked between Daia and the fruit with extreme suspicion but made no move to take the offered fruit. She huffed and slapped it into his hand. “If I was going to kill you, I wouldn’t use a fruit. Just eat it.”

He sniffed at it and tentatively took a small bite while Daia rolled her eyes at him. The juice and sweetness caused his eyes to widen in surprise before he greedily finished the rest. A small smile crept onto his face before he was able to hide the unbidden expression. After a few seconds of wrestling with his thoughts, Savage muttered “Thank you.”

“No problem.” She couldn’t help the smile on her face as they finished walking to the throne room for what was sure to be another mind numbing meeting.

The throne room was the same as the previous morning, the only difference being Almec’s clothing and Maul’s ever changing seating position on the throne. Maul’s gaze followed her as she and Savage walked across the room to her place on the wall. She nodded and smiled at him as she passed but said nothing.

The meeting began with a wave of Maul’s hand as it had the day before. Almec droned on again, Saxon and Kast gave their reports on Death Watch’s work. Daia half watched Maul’s reactions and half pretended she was somewhere else until she heard the Pyke representative mention the weapons waiting on Agamar. “My lord Maul, we have not heard word from our ship sent to Agamar. We have sent a second to ensure their success. We...we hope to hear from them by day’s end.” You won’t.

Maul’s irritation whipped dark waves around him in the Force. Everyone in the chamber fell silent, It didn’t take Force sensitivity to sense his feelings about failure. He completely ignored the holographic Pyke as he addressed the Falleen. “Have your ships ready to go to Agamar by morning.” He snapped his head back to the Pyke “For your own sake, you had best bring news of your success tomorrow.” The Pyke took a step back despite being on another planet. “Ye-yes lord Maul.”

Daia sent out a small message through the Force to Maul before the next person spoke. A simple sensation more than words. A push to say that she could perform whatever task was laid before her. He responded to her intrusion by shoving her back into the wall without so much as looking in her direction. All heads turned in her direction at the sound of her back smacking into the wall. “It’s nothing, please continue.”

The daily briefing finished as it had before and Daia walked out the door with the rest of those who had attended. She spent the rest of her day walking through the city or fighting with P4R-E in the palace training room.

The next day started with another pound on the door from Savage. This time when Daia left the room she tossed him his own meiloorun with a grin. “Since you liked the last one so much.”

Savage responded with a smile of his own before enjoying his gift. The two walked in comfortable silence to the throne room for Daia’s third day of being Maul’s wall decoration.

Once again Almec droned, then Kast and Saxon delivered reports. Again, Daia kept her eyes on Maul monitoring his responses, both visible and only present in the Force. This time, a different Pyke representative was present. I guess they failed. Big surprise. Maul spoke to the Falleen hologram “Send your ships. Do not fail me.” The Falleen bowed, “Yes lord Maul.”

Daia stepped away from the wall and cleared her throat. “Lord Mand’alor, I believe that you would have more success if I was permitted to accompany the Black Sun ships in my own ship. I swear to you, I can make it to the surface of that planet.” Maul stared at her for a moment, his expression completely unreadable to her. “No.” Why am I even here if he won’t listen?

She left the room as soon as everyone had finished. The Death Watch target range called to her. She needed to shoot something, or several things many times. Death Watch had taken over a section of the gardens to convert into their own personal target range. Armored warriors joked and showed off their marksmanship for one another. A few kept to themselves and stayed focused on their targets while others still crowded around benches to clean and maintain their weapons after their firing exercises.

Daia pulled her blaster out of its holster and gave it a quick once over as she made her way to join the others. It could use a good cleaning. She’d have to disassemble it and scrub it clean after her practice today. She’d been too lost in thought to keep an eye on what was in front of her until she collided with an armored chest. Looking up she found herself face to face with Gar Saxon, wearing a particularly intense look of disapproval. “What are you doing here smuggler?”

“The same thing as the rest of you.” She looked around as if he could have been speaking to anybody else. “Perfecting my aim and taking care of my blaster.” Saxon crossed his arms and stayed planted directly in her path. “You aren’t welcome here.” Daia rolled her eyes and scoffed at him. Shit, did he find out? “I was welcome amongst you all the last time you saw me. In fact, I recall sharing drinks with most of you.” “Last time we saw you, you were bringing much needed supplies to Concordia.” Saxon leaned down close to her face. She should have felt threatened but with the way her week had been going, she was just irritated. “Then you stopped without notice. Some of our soldiers starved without those rations. What makes you think you’d be welcome among us after that?” “I’m sorry but last I checked, you stopped contacting me.” After her last visit, Almec had been thrown in prison and Viszla had tried killing a Jedi in his attempt to take Mandalore for the Duchess. It was best that Daia remain scarce until somebody from Mandalore or Concordia contacted her. Nobody ever did. “It’s a little hard to set up cargo drop off when your contacts are either in prison, exiled, or dead.”

“Let her through, Saxon.” Kast came up from behind him and gave him a shove to the side. “Mand’alor told her to make herself at home in the palace. Like it or not, she can be here too.”

Saxon snorted and shoved his way past Daia, bumping her shoulder with his armored one on the way out. Feeling petty, she lightly flicked her fingers as she slightly tripped him up with the Force. His quiet curse brought a satisfied smirk to her face. “Vor’e, Kast. Would you care to join me? There’s no shortage of targets.”

“Ba’gedet’ye.” Kast waved away Daia’s thanks. “I guess I’ll have to stay and teach you how to shoot properly.”

“Is that so?” Daia barked out a laugh and made her way to the nearest shooting lane. She pulled out her blaster again and took aim at the humanoid shape downrange. “I look forward to making you eat those words.”

She stayed at the range for a few hours, trading shots with Kast and mocking each other whenever a blaster bolt went wide. It felt good to have a friend on Mandalore again. When they’d had their fill the two cleaned their weapons and went their separate ways, but not before making plans to meet up for target practice again. After Kast left, Daia found herself a meal and took off to the training room for P4R-E's company for the rest of the evening. Perhaps fighting with her droid would erase her frustration with her employer.

Another morning, another pounding on her door. Five days since she had come to Mandalore and four of them spent as Maul's silent pet. This time she walked past Savage without stopping as she deposited a meiloorun in his waiting hand. "Come on. Your brother's waiting for me to hold up the throne room wall again." The path to the throne room was beyond familiar and allowed her mind to wander until she once again found herself leaning in the same spot she'd occupied for most of the week. Her mind slipped into the Force, feeling the failure of the Black Sun before anyone could address it. Maul must have felt it too. His presence in the Force had become an inky rolling boil, a significant change from its usual flowing shadows. Somewhere in the room Daia distantly heard someone mention contacting the Hutts for a ship to make the pickup. The boil around Maul managed to become even more intense as she felt her own temper flare simultaneously. The Hutts? Only if you want them to steal a quarter of your cargo and claim they lost it. Her patience had finally met its end. The moment others began to leave, she flew out of the room without a word and back to her own.

Daia's mind was a flurry of thoughts as she gathered the necessary things for a fast trip off of Mandalore. I'll get those fucking weapons. She shouldered her bag and paused a moment to leave a bowl of meilooruns on the table with a note, “Savage, these are all yours.” She stormed out the door and made a beeline for the Fever Dream. The same guards she’d seen every time nodded as she passed. “Just dropping some things I don’t need at the ship. I’ll be right back,” She lied.

Once out of sight she dropped her bag and ran for the cockpit. “Who does he think he is? Sending Hutts to do my fucking job. Bastard.” Daia’s hands flew over the controls of her ship, skipping through her usual preflight checks and firing up the engines. The ship rose from the platform and began to turn in place to head out of the city. Over the roar of the engines, Daia could just make out the guards shouting at her, probably to land the ship before they shoot. She waved at them out the window before closing the loading ramp and flying up into the atmosphere.

Before she could rise high enough to watch the sky turn from blue to black her comm crackled and Saxon’s furious voice filled the cockpit. “What do you think you are doing?!”

She checked her proximity sensors. No one was following her. Not yet anyway. She hit the comm to open the channel so she could answer the man. “I’m doing my damn job.”

Saxon wasn’t hearing it. She didn’t think he would anyway. “You have exactly 15 seconds to turn around before I blast that piece of garbage out of the sky.” Daia let out a sharp laugh at his threat. “Now now Saxon, why would you shoot someone else’s ship down when it’s me you’re mad at?” Every moment she kept him arguing with her was another moment for her to fly out of his range.

The supercommando ignored her and began counting down. “15...14...13...12...11…10...9...” She cut off his countdown. “I’m sorry, I’m having difficulty hearing you. Did you say ‘nine’ or ‘good flying’?” A few more seconds was all she needed before being able to jump to hyperspace.

Maul’s voice rolled out of her comm’s speaker. “Let her go.” He must have been standing there listening the entire time. “I’m sorry Lord Maul, what?” came Saxon’s confused reply.

“I said, let her go.” Daia could hear the irritation in his voice at being questioned. There was also a hint of curiosity behind it. He wants to see if I can do it, doesn’t he? “Either she returns with the weapons or she dies and is no longer our concern. I trust you heard that Daia. Either you return with those weapons, or don’t bother coming back at all.”

Again she let out a short laugh. “Oh that won’t be a problem at all, handsome. Hopefully the palace doesn’t collapse without me holding up the walls. Try not to miss me too much.” Her ship had cleared the atmosphere completely. She was free. With one last glance back to the planet behind her, she hit the hyperdrive and was thrown away from Mandalore and towards Agamar and her prize.

#darth maul #fanfic #star wars tcw #oc #Daia Veeral #Maul is not always the best person to work for #Savage is much nicer

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haru-sen · 3 years ago

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IAL: Mandalorians 2

Thanks, 3-D Render Anon, with your adorable voodoo dolls. That was the serotonin I needed.

I should be working, but I’m posting this. The Mando’a phrases and cultural dishes are from Wookieepedia. I’ll post the actual translations in the fic, but I don’t have time right now.

You woke up in a tent, your entire body aching. You were tucked under some blankets, a bedroll under your head. Your sabers were still on your belt.

“Query: are you done yet?” HK-53 asked, from overhead. “Also, are you sure I can’t kill these Mandalorians?”

“I am going to track down that pacifist module and shove it right up your accessory port,” you muttered. “Just you wait-”

“Shock: Master, how could you threaten your loyal droid this way? When did Master get so cruel? I am very proud of you!”

Laughing, you held your head for a moment. “What happened?”

“Recollection: You collapsed. The blue-armored meatbag injected you with kolto, and carried you here. The black-armored meatbag kept his gun on me, and I made sure neither of them did strange things to your person while you were inconveniently indisposed. It has been a little over a standardized hour since you lost consciousness.”

You sat up slowly. The sun was still up. “Where are we?”

“The witch is alive.”

You blinked, the black-armored Mandalorian standing in front of you. He was not wearing his helmet. Tall, with dark skin and clawmark scars across his cheeks, he loomed over you. He was well-groomed, his beard neatly trimmed, his black hair was immaculately styled. How did he not have helmet hair?

Blue scrambled over, also with his helmet off, also younger than you expected. He was blonde, hair gelled and styled. What the hell? Did Mandalorians discover the secret to preventing helmet hair? He smiled at you, with eyes as blue as his armor, his cheeks flushed. “You’re recovering much faster than I expected. How are you feeling?”

“Like I drank Delta Squad under the table again…” You said, rubbing your forehead. You had overdone it back there. Between the terentatek corruption, the Ataru form, and the subsequent wounds, you had pushed yourself too hard too quickly.

“Jedi drink?” Blue raised a brow.

“No, we just absorb dew through our pores,” you scowled.

“This Jedi witch is about to get dunked in a lake if she keeps giving me that attitude,” Skull said coolly.

“Well, I am thirsty,” you said.

To your surprise, Blue offered his canteen, looked thoughtful for a moment, took a drink, and then offered it again. “It’s not poisoned.”

“Disgust: Not poisoned, but definitely contaminated,” HK-53 said.

You hesitantly accepted the canteen, drinking down some of the metallic-tasting water. “Thanks.” You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. “What do I call you?”

“Reaper,” Skull said. “76.” He pointed at Blue. “You?”

“Strike,” you said, climbing to your feet. The world wobbled, but did not tilt too far on its axis. You looked around. This encampment was small, but there was a cold firepit and vehicle tracks. They had not set this up in a couple hours. They had been in this area for awhile.

“Strike,” Reaper said, expression grim. “I think we need to talk.”

“No, I need to get to Nar Shaddaa,” you said.

The men looked at each other. “So do we.”

“That’s what we need to talk about,” 76 said, crossing his arms.

You stood there for a moment, a little intuitive nudge already sending your thoughts into overdrive. This was about to get even more complicated. “Because you really like casinos? Right?” You asked, with a sigh.

“Because we need to get one of those kids back,” Reaper said.

“...Of course, you do,” you said, staring up at the sky. You were glad someone had survived to hire mercs to rescue their kid. And you didn’t really care if the child chose to avoid training on Tython. But you did not need battle-happy Mandalorians ruining your operation. “Which one?”

“Xenya Itera, human female.” Reaper held out a holo of a little girl with a tiny spherical droid floating over her outstretched hands. She was dark skinned, her hair in several long tiny braids. She was smiling. “You can rescue the others, but we are obligated to retrieve her.”

“And if she doesn’t want to go with you?” You asked, crossing your arms.

“Then she doesn’t have to,” Reaper said with a shrug, surprisingly unbothered by the question.

“Your bounty?”

“Not your problem,” Reaper said coolly. “We just need to get the kid away from the Cartels. Simple enough. Easier too if we go after them together.”

...Two sensible, non-volatile suggestions from Mandalorian mercs in one day? Was the world coming to an end? ...Or was it a trap? There was a long history of bad blood between Jedi and the Mandalorian clans.

“What clan?” You asked suddenly.

“Excuse me?” Reaper said.

“What clan are you?”

The men looked at you for a moment, like they hadn’t expected that question. “Clan Ordo.”

You nodded. You didn’t have any standing grudges with Clan Ordo. Hell, you hadn’t really ever dealt with them. But they weren’t Clan Lok, Rook, Varad, or Viszla, so you were probably good for the moment. “I can work with that.”

“You should be fine with Ordo,” Rogun said, over the comm-link. “They were one of the clans that backed the Crusader’s Schism, several years back – wanted to side with the Republic instead of the Empire. Whole thing got crushed by Mandalore the Vindicated, and Ordo was eventually welcomed back into the fold, with honor. So they likely don’t have the grudge that Lok and Viszla do. I can’t speak for the individuals though.”

“Good to know,” you said, sitting cross legged in the tent. “And Talon?”

“...I guess you’re right, Strike. There are no coincidences. He’s been spotted on Nar Shaddaa, near the slave markets with an entourage.” An entourage? Did that mean…? Rogun gave a rough laugh. “The Force moves in mysterious ways.”

“No, the Force is a mean bitch with an axe to grind, usually in my face,” you scowled.

Rogun guffawed, the lethorns on the side of his head shaking. “You’re never going to make Master with that kind of talk.”

You rolled your eyes upward, like that was the only thing keeping you from obtaining the rank of Master. Ha! “Just so you know, I got quizzed by the Council on our association.”

“I’m sure you said nice things about me,” he said, his grin mean.

“I said, your sandwiches suck.”

Rogun scowled back at you. “It was the best I could do during an active bombardment!”

You knew adult Chagrians often lost their sense of taste due to environmental factors, and maybe that was the reason the food had been awful, but it was rude to point that part out. “Yeah, well, I talked you up a little too. Made sure they knew that despite your questionable occupation, you’re a friend of the Republic.”

“Great, so when they come knocking at my door for favors or charitable handouts, I know who to blame.”

“Just give them one of those sandwiches, that’ll send them on their way.”

Rogun squinted at you. “It’s a good thing you’re useful, Strike.”

You laughed. “Thanks, Rogun. Keep me updated on Lord Talon’s movements. I’ll make you a delicious sandwich in gratitude.”

“Go kiss a sarlaac,” he scowled, and hung up.

“You certainly have a way with people,” Reaper said, hovering by the entrance.

You had not noticed his approach. How much had he heard? “That’s me, making friends wherever I go,” you said with a shrug.

Reaper gave a low chuckle. “You and that mouthy droid.”

You glanced around, realizing HK-53 had not been over your shoulder for your conversation with Rogun. You got up, a little concerned.

“Relax, he’s shooting bogstalkers with 76. They were attacking the comms equipment. I’ve already updated my people. I’m going to finish breaking down the camp, and then we can go.”

You started to disassemble the tent, watching as HK and 76 sniped at the leathery reptilians that fluttered in the sky.

“What are you flying?” Reaper asked, packing several weapons into crates.

“The usual – Rendili Defender-class light corvette. It’ll get us where we need to go.”

“And you think your credentials will be enough to get us through Olaris?” He asked, because the Republic-held city wasn’t too friendly toward Mandalorians.

“I can, but it might be easier if you leave off the helmets. I know that’s culturally insensitive, but we’ll move faster if I don’t have to pull rank on a bunch of terrified soldiers and customs agents,” You shrugged, bundling the tent tightly.

“Sensible,” was all Reaper said.

“So what’s it like, traveling with a Jedi Knight?” 76 asked, lowering his rifle.

“Declaration: That is a broad question, meatbag. Be more specific,” HK-53 said, rifle aimed at a ferrazid hound, the mutated creature already tearing apart a broke receiver.

76 laughed. “Do you get in a lot of fights?”

“Bragging: We get in so many fights. The number of people who want to kill Master is very high. And it doesn’t seem to get lower, despite how many people we do kill. If I wasn’t so busy killing her enemies, I would want to fight her one day.” HK-53 paused, its head twitching.

76 frowned. “Why does she attract such enmity? Just who are you killing?”

“Aggravation: Master has killed many things, usually enemies of the Republic, but she has also made many rules about what I am not allowed to kill. It is unnecessarily complicated. For example, Master generally prefers to let the enemy make the first move of aggression, to ensure that it is adhering to her archaic rules of “moral” combat. Sometimes she even talks people out of fighting her. Can you believe it? She knows they’re her enemies and she lets them walk away! She should just kill them ahead of time, not spare them. What is she thinking?” HK-53 gunned down the mutated hound-beast. “But Master is a Jedi, and Jedi have to follow silly rules,” the droid muttered petulantly.

“How did a...violent murder-happy droid like yourself end up with a Jedi then?” 76 asked.

HK-53 tilted its head, giving 76 a very skeptical look. “Suspicion: Such flattery. Why are you asking so many questions, meatbag?”

“I’m just curious about the people I’m traveling with,” 76 said, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s not every day I meet a Jedi Knight or such an...enthusiastic battle droid. It leaves an impression. There’s a story there.”

HK-53 stared at him, those eyes glowing. “Satisfaction: We are impressive. You don’t need to know more.” Turning back to the swamps, HK-53 surveyed the area. “Observation: Oh, it looks like Master and the other meatbag want us to return.”

76 just laughed awkwardly.

“Concern: Master, that meatbag was asking a lot of questions about us.” HK-53 was secured to speeder on the seat behind you. The Mandalorians were on the other. You were technically using their equipment, but you didn’t exactly trust a bunch of battle-happy maniacs in the driver’s seat. That included your droid.

You zoomed over marshlands and fields, the Mandalorians riding parallel to you.

“What kind of questions?”

To your surprise, HK-53 just replayed the recording of the conversation. Normally, he was all too happy to summarize an interaction, and intersperse his own commentary, but he let it play out without interruption.

“Query: There is subtext that I do not understand, Master. Is he probing for weakness? What angle is he coming from? What does he hope to learn?”

You sighed. “It could be socially-motivated, but I’m sure he’s also trying to gather intel. People often let a lot of things slip in friendly conversation.”

“Query: What did he let slip?”

“Not a lot,” you said, thoughtfully. “But he’s trying to be diplomatic, and he seems to have a personal interest in Jedi.”

“Query: How can you tell?”

“The enthusiasm,” you said. “He’s not just asking for intelligence purposes. He’s interested in the topic, and he wants to make a good impression on you. I’m not exactly sure why – Mandalorian mercs aren’t really known for their diplomatic skills, but I think if we talk to him more, we’ll figure it out.”

“Statement: These Mandalorians are not what I expected. Normally, we just fight them, and it’s a little difficult, but it’s done. This change in behavior is...disconcerting.”

“Yeah, I know. Nothing about this mission is what we expected,” you muttered.

“Clean, sturdy, and fast,” Reaper said, looking over your ship. “Not bad.”

“Spacious,” 76 said, with a nod.

Given the fact that it was just you and HK-53, the ship was almost too big. “You guys can make yourselves comfortable in the crew quarters,” you said, gesturing to the rooms. “Let me know if you need anything. I’m going to make some calls before we reach Nar Shaddaa.”

But first you needed to change into an intact top, and check your wounds. Your robe was ruined, and there were three parallel gashes across your low back. They nearly spanned the entire width of your back, and were each a couple inches wide, and thankfully not too deep. But they would take a while to heal. 76 was right, you would scar. Your healing skills just weren’t up good enough. Still.

The auto-navigation was engaged, cockpit locked. You wouldn’t have to take the helm till you reached Nar Shaddaa. You didn’t exactly trust the Mandalorians on your ship, but you could feel them settling down, sharing one of the two sleeping rooms - there were multiple berths on your ship, but they holed up in one together. And they were behaving. To your surprise, when you reached Olaris, the Mandalorians had tucked their helmets into their bags, and quietly followed you through the spaceport. HK-53 attracted more attention with his running commentary, but boarding had gone smoothly.

You put HK-53 outside the comm room and shut the door.

You first called Master Amari, to give her the update for the Council. Yes, you were going to Nar Shaddaa. Also, Orgo the Hutt had a terentatek and had tried to feed you to it. You did not have time to finish the beast – but you would return to take care of it, after you rescued the children. You had picked up some Mandalorians – they were also tracking one of the children and on their best behavior.

Master Amari had been interested to learn they were Clan Ordo, but seemed satisfied with your progress. You did not mention Lord Talon.

The next call was less staid.

“A terentatek, Theron,” you snarled. “How did you manage to leave out that detail?”

“I don’t keep an inventory of every crime lord’s dungeon!”

“It’s a goddamn terentatek, not a monkey lizard! How did he even get one?”

“Did you try asking him?” The spy asked snidely. He lounged on the comm unit, looking nothing like the sickly boy you’d met on Haashimut. “I was too busy trying not to die!”

“Sounds like a “you problem,” he shrugged. “And stop whining, you didn’t die.” He grinned at you.

“No, thanks to you!”

“You didn’t invite me. You could still invite me,” he said, leaning forward, his eyes bright and too eager.

“Pfft, since when did you care about a dozen potential padawans?” You asked, even though you knew the answer, just like you knew why you had not invited Theron along. It would get too complicated for a variety of reasons. “This is barely even Jedi business. It’s a criminal venture that happens to have Imperial ties – not really relevant to the SIS or your career.”

“...I heard you saw the Grandmaster,” he said, suddenly subdued.

And that was exactly why you had not invited him. Theron was a shady son of a bitch on the best of days. That said “bitch” happened to be Grandmaster Satele Shan was just another level of complicated. There were so many reasons the situation was screwed: she had given him up immediately, his father was “unknown,” and he didn’t have enough force sensitivity to blow out a candle. His solution? He’d gotten some kind of high end cybernetic implant and gone off to play spymaster for the Republic, instead of working through his feelings.

But there was always an underlying layer of bitter regrets that accompanied his dealings with the Jedi Order.

“Yes, she looks healthy,” you said, playing it off like it was not a big deal. “It was going to be a disciplinary hearing, but that changed, because I’m just a pawn in some greater philosophical argument. Or maybe because they needed me to do a job,” you scowled. “I still annoy her, don’t worry.”

“Wanna wager which one of us is the greater disappointment?” Theron asked, his smile deceptively cheerful. You knew better than to answer that question. “Just kidding, Strike. It’s obviously you.” He made finger guns. “She hasn’t given me a second thought.”

You shrugged, pretending like you didn’t hear the open wound in that statement. “I doubt it’s anything so important. I just get a lot of lectures from the Council. You can probably guess what they think about strong emotion and any activity that isn’t meditating in front of a fountain.” You paused. “Look, do you want to be there when I report back to them? Like as an SIS adjutant or something?”

Theron let out a harsh laugh. “Are you trying to get kicked out, Strike? You show up to a High Council meeting with the Grandmaster’s bastard offspring in tow? How’s that going to look?”

“...You’re the one asking to come along,” you scowled. “Make up your own mind, Theron. I don’t offer to drag you into stupid Order business, you complain. I do offer to bring you into stupid Order business, after you ask, and you decline and point out why it’s a dumb idea. This is why you don’t have friends.”

“You’re one to talk, unable to make real connections because the Order stunted you for the first half of your life. Now here you are, running around with that psychotic defective HK unit, like it will replace what you lost on Corellia, chasing after Lord Talon like he’s the one you’re mad at, instead of-”

The world narrowed to a single point. Red light flashed across your field of vision.

“You need to stop talking,” you said, your voice going cold.

Theron blinked, his eyes widening. “...Druk. Strike, I didn’t mean-”

You cut the connection, the room blurring around you for a moment. It took a couple seconds for your vision to adjust. To realize how angry you were. Sure, Theron was an asshole, but he’d only peeled back the scab on a still-festering wound. You tilted your head back.

Breathe in. Hold. Breathe out. Hold. Repeat till the darkness recedes.

Gradually, your control steadied. But you sat with that cloud of anger, not letting it go, nor letting it take ascendance. It was there, a pulsing reminder of your humanity.

You were going to kill Lord Talon and maybe his apprentice. Not because you hated him, though you did. Not because it was the right thing to do, though it was. You were going to kill him for personal reasons, and unlike the rest of the Order, you were not going to lie to yourself about it. And if that brought you down, if that decision made you fall, well, you were prepared. You had taken the appropriate precautions. There would be no Sith Lord Strike.

There was a ping as you received an incoming message. It was from Theron. It was only five words.

I’m an ass. I’m sorry.

You shook your head, not ready to respond just yet, and left the comm room.

“Is that the best you can do?” 76 laughed, and then there was whumpf, before you heard a body hit the floor.

You peeked into the bunks, to see the Mandalorians stripped down to their shorts, wrestling on the ground. Both men were muscular, with noticeable scars from blasters, vibroblades, and even some teeth and clawmarks. But the tattoos were interesting… Reaper had a full left sleeve, and 76 had some very colorful creatures etched on his back. Was that a varactyl?

“See something you like?” 76 asked, glancing over at you.

Reaper looked up at you, narrowing his eyes. “Or are we being too loud?”

“I wasn’t sure what was going on, just making sure it wasn’t a murder,” you said. “Carry on then.” You abruptly turned around, shoulders taut. You would not stare. And you certainly would not get caught staring.

“Hey, you seem kind of stressed. Do you want to spar or something?” 76 asked.

“That’s not a good idea right now,” you said, tensing.

“Why, because you’re still weak from getting your ass handed to you by a Sithspawn freak?” Reaper asked, casually. “Don’t worry, witch. I’ll go easy on you, if you ask me nicely.” His grin was savage.

You turned back to face him, feeling the anger pour off you in waves. “...Mandalorian, do you need someone to humble you that badly?” You asked, your voice low and harsh.

Reaper laughed. “You don’t scare me, witch. Choose your weapons. And if you need to hide behind your fancy light swords-”

“Practice blades will do,” you said. “Come on then.”

Reaper squinted at you.

“You don’t think I’m going to tear up this room, do you? The sparring mats are on the lower decks,” you said, already heading down.

You picked up two blades off the rack, choosing a full blade and a half-length blade. The cargo hold was equipped for exercise, as you did not normally transport a lot of goods. You stretched, ignoring the whispered conversation between the Mandalorians.

“Oh good, the medbay is across the hall-” 76 said.

“Whose side are you on?” Reaper growled.

“You’re out of armor, cyar’ika,” 76 murmured. “She’s a Jedi. The outcome is obvious.”

“Hut’uun,” Reaper spat. “Verd ori'shya beskar'gam.”

“Don’t be salty because I’m telling the truth, mir’osik.” 76 laughed.

Maybe you should have called HK down here. He could have translated the Mando’a for you. Except he’d be calling for real bloodsport instead of just sparring. And you didn’t need that temptation right now.

You took a few practice swings, reviewing your forms. Niman would be the most sensible. This was just a sparring match. It was an all-around style, and Reaper had a lot more muscle mass than you did. You did not need to go all out. You swung the longer blade, feeling the air part in front of you.

Reaper glowered at 76, then stalked over to the weapon rack.

“Don’t worry, Mandalorian,” you said, your mouth curving in a mockery of a smile. “I won’t use my witchcraft to beat you. I’ll do it with my own two hands.”

“You don’t sound much like a Jedi right now,” Reaper said as he stepped on the mat, holding a single vibrosword.

“What do I sound like then?” You asked, as you began to circle each other.

“A real soldier,” Reaper said. “Which is impossible, because everyone knows that the Jedi like to hide in their fancy temples praying for peace, while their soldiers die.”

You just smiled, the insult gliding right by your ear. You had made that argument too many times to be offended by it. Especially when it was from a Mandalorian braggart trying to get under your skin. But it said everything that this was how an outsider viewed your order.

You spun your swords, the heavier one in your dominant hand, feeling just right. The anger boiling under your skin seemed to evaporate. It was just energy now, ready to power you through another fight. Your mind slid back into its seat of balance.

Reaper charged you, lunging forward, the blade cutting through the air in a horizontal arc. You sidestepped, ninety degrees to the right, just out of his reach. And while his blade was extended, you slipped around his guard, and dragged your short sword across his back, a thin line of blood appearing seconds later.

He whirled, swinging the sword at you. You parried with your left hand, and glided forward, under his guard, so close you couldn’t swing your other blade. Instead, you grinned up at him, and rammed the hilt into his stomach.

Coughing, Reaper doubled over, glared at you, and then his leg snapped up. You slid backward, but a half-second to slow. He kicked you in the chest, and you had to catch yourself in a spin. It was suddenly hard to breathe.

He charged you again, blade raised overhead.

You instinctively raised your swords to parry, catching his blade between both of yours. You twisted, and the vibrosword flew out of his hands, and landed on the floor of the cargohold with a clatter.

“Do you yield?” You asked, spinning your swords. “Or would you like a moment to go retrieve your weapon, Mandalorian? That’s fine. I’ll wait.” You grinned. “Because I can do this all night long.”

Reaper stared at you, eyes dark, nostrils flared. He was bleeding, breathing hard, and sweat glistened on his velvety skin, but he didn’t look like he was done.

“Maybe you’d like to try both of us then?” 76 asked, his eyes narrowed. He picked up Reaper’s sword and then a stave for himself. He placed the sword in Reaper’s outstretched hand, and took up a stance beside his comrade. “Tion'ad hukaat'kama?”

You tilted your head back, moving your head from side to side. 76 held the staff like he knew how to use it. You closed your eyes, feeling the currents of the force flow through you, a picture of the field forming in your head. They stood side by side, but they would attempt to box you in. They both had excellent range, but 76 would have the advantage of reach. You could see the range and motion of their attacks before they made them, and while it would be difficult, you were good at this. “What are you waiting for? An invitation?”

76 lunged first, sweeping the staff at knee-height.

You leapt over the attack, even as Reaper slid to your right swung the vibrosword in a downward arc. Elbow bent, wrist pressed to your head, you blocked the strike.

76 struck again, thrusting the staff like a polearm.

You jumped backward out of his range, disengaging from Reaper’s sword lock. You spun around toward Reaper, blades outstretched.

76 swung the staff around, blocking the area across Reaper’s torso.

You struck the staff with a clang, and had to swing your right blade to block Reaper’s counterattack. You disengaged again, dancing to the side, putting Reaper between you and 76. He tried to swing his sword, but you parried the blow again, and whipped your other blade across his cheek with a little flourish.

The skin split and instead of countering, he stared at you, with an intensity that made you hesitate.

From behind Reaper, 76 thrust again, striking you in the side with the staff. You hissed, and kicked Reaper backward into 76. The blonde man steadied his friend, and together they stayed on their feet.

You touched your side, knowing that the area would need extra healing later. But it wasn’t enough to bring you down now. Breathing hard, you took a deep breath and whirled toward them, blades spinning in your hands.

Still leaning on 76, Reaper didn’t have a chance to take a strong defensive stance. You caught his vibrosword between yours, and scissored them, sending his weapon flying once more. You couldn’t quite kick him aside, so you circled around to 76. You got close, too close for him to use the staff properly. He could block your blows, but he didn’t have the space to maneuver. Your blades slid off the staff, but still scraped against his chest, slicing a long gash through the pink skin, the tip of the short sword catching on a gold ring.

“Haar'chak!” He yowled.

“Ke'pare!” Reaper shouted. “Wait!”

You froze, having not noticed the little gold rings on his nipples. “Disengaging,” you said, dropping your vibrosword, and very carefully freeing the short blade from the piercing. “Why the hell would you leave those in for a sparring match?” You asked, backing up.

Wincing, 76 held a hand over the right nipple ring. “I...forgot,” he mumbled.

“Showoff,” Reaper said, shaking his head.

“I’ll get the kolto,” you sighed, setting the blades back in the rack, before you went across the hall to the medbay. You grabbed the first aid kit and headed back.

76 sat in the middle of the mats, rubbing his chest sheepishly. Reaper sat next to him, shaking his head.

“Hold still,” you said, crouching down in front of him to examine the cuts on his chest. You cleaned the wounds with a sanitizing wipe and then applied a layer of kolto over the cuts. You glanced at the nipple. It was pink and a lot more swollen than the other one, but still intact. You hadn’t torn the piercing or cut anything off. It wasn't even bleeding. Squeezing a little more kolto onto your thumb, you rubbed it lightly against his nipple.

76 stiffened, inhaling sharply as you put the healing gel on him. He was breathing hard now, chest and face flushed from the exertion. He watched you with hooded eyes, teeth clenched. “Do you patch up all your conquests?”

“No, normally there isn’t enough left to fix,” you said, meeting his gaze.

He studied your face for a moment. You could feel the heat pouring off him. He leaned closer. “So I’m one of the lucky ones?”

“Very, you almost lost that piercing and more.” You said, your mouth suddenly dry.

“It’s still sore, maybe you could put some more kolto on it,” he purred, a very knowing smile on his face.

“No, I think you deserve to suffer a little for your stupidity,” you said, backing up. You glanced at Reaper. “Do you need kolto?”

“Go on then,” Reaper said coolly, sitting up straight.

You crouched back down in front of Reaper, keeping him partially between you and 76. You worked quickly, your fingers lightly tracing the scar on his face. He watched you sullenly, as you quickly applied the gel. And then he turned around, silently giving you his back. His skin was hot under your fingertips, and you tried to seal the wound quickly, very conscious of 76’s hungry gaze. You slapped a bandage on it, and he turned back around, plucking the kolto out of your hands.

“Let’s see those ribs,” Reaper told you calmly. “76 hit you pretty hard.”

“I can take care of it myself,” you said.

“No one’s going to pounce on you,” Reaper said. “And even if they did, you could handle them.” He did not look at 76. “Now don’t be stubborn and try going up that ladder with your ribs cracked. That’s just foolish.” There wasn’t any of the previous malice in his voice, just a gentle chiding that reminded you a little of Master Amari.

Sighing, you unfastened your sash, and peeled back your robes, wincing as you touched your left side.

His head tilted to the side, Reaper applied the healing gel to your bare skin, his warm hands gently massaging it into your left side. You bit your lip, placing a hand near there as you tried to convince the bones to knit back together correctly.

Between the kolto and the little bit of force healing you could manage, the pain began to subside.

“Better?” Reaper asked, his palm still pressed to your side, close to your hand.

“Yes,” you said, swallowing roughly. “I should be good.”

Reaper bowed his head. “You won, Jedi. I am...humbled by your prowess.” He nodded to you, giving you a slight smile. “But I would like to try against you again later. Perhaps barehanded next time.”

You remembered seeing them rolling around on the ground, wrestling. Your breath caught. “You’re welcome to use the sparring mats,” you said, pulling away, closing your robes and tying off your sash. “But I need to go meditate.”

“Will you join us later?” Reaper asked.

“...We’ll see,” you said, glancing at 76, who lounged on his side, one hand cupping his sore pectoral.

76 winked at you. “Feel better?”

You blinked, having already forgotten why you’d agreed to spar in the first place. “Yes, thank you, but I really need to go meditate.”

“I can think of some other things that would help you out,” 76 said, looking you up and down with a smile.

“I really should go,” you said, already halfway out the door.

“I need to go meditate?” Really? That was your best excuse? It worked, but still…

Grumbling you, shut yourself in your quarters, limping to the fresher for a shower. It was quick, and you changed into another clean robe – today had been hard on clothes – and then settled on your floor cushion, still feeling the force run through you.

You did not contemplate the temple fountains, nor the forests of Tython, nor any Jedi object. You stared out the window, into the void of space, the stars twinkling in the distance. You fully expected flashes of red light, or even that dark haze that settled over your mind when you really got to thinking about the past.

But the force continued to move through you in strong currents. It was like sitting up to your shoulders in a warm ocean. The world took on a soft gray glow, and you let yourself drift.

It was the most peaceful you had felt since Corellia.

“Knight Strike, are you occupied?” 76 asked over the intercom.

You opened one eye, focus settling back into your body. “Do you need something?”

“We took the liberty of making a meal, and thought you might be hungry,” he said.

You blinked. “Oh, I’ll be down in a minute.” The offer took you by surprise. HK-53 had said nothing about them moving around the ship. You rose, tightening your robe, and left your quarters.

A warm savory scent hit you as you opened the door. The entire deck smelled of rich spices and sauteed aromatics. It was coming from the conference room – the one you used as a makeshift dining room back when… Back when there had been more people on your ship.

The Mandalorians were inside and had set up hotplates and a kettle on the table. Reaper was back in his polished black armor, sans helmet, stirring a pot. He did not look up when you came in. He just lifted a battered spoon to his lips and tasted the stew or maybe it was a casserole? If so, it was heavily sauced.

76 stood over his own battered iron skillet, an amber colored cake within. He cautiously poured some syrup over the cake. Then he cracked open a bottle and poured an even more generous amount of dark liquor over it. “It’s almost done!”

“If you want to cook, I have a small kitchen setup in my quarters-” You paused, realizing that maybe you did not want them traipsing in and out of your bedroom.

“Oh? Really? I would like to see that,” Reaper said, looking up and smiling at you, heat in his gaze. He lifted the spoon from the pot, offering you a taste of the bright orange stew. It had chunks of mystery meat, vegetables, and what looked like beans. It smelled like fire, smoke, and peppers, clearing whatever spacedust might have been clogging your sinuses. You hesitantly took a bite. It was savory and hot. The layers of earthy and smoky spices blended well together and even though you were still chewing, you wanted another bite almost immediately.

Even if you had never tasted this dish before, there was something immediately comforting about it. The meat was smoked. The vegetables had likely been dried and reconstituted in the sauce. The “beans” were actually some kind of grains, soft and fluffy with just the right amount of chewiness. “That’s very good,” you said. “What is it?”

“Tiingilar,” Reaper said, watching your face. “It doesn’t burn too much, I hope.”

“The seasoning is excellent. I’m very fond of peppers,” you said, raising a brow. Was he hoping that it was too much for you? That seemed a possibility. You had beaten him in combat, so he was going to compete with you in other ways. Still, if it meant that he cooked a nice dinner, you wouldn’t take too much offense.

Reaper just smiled at you. “You are full of surprises. The last non-Mandalorian I fed this to accused me of poisoning her. It was...too hot for her delicate mouth.”

“She wasn’t as well-traveled as Knight Strike,” 76 said, flipping his skillet and dumping the cake onto a battered metal plate. “Uj'alayi. It’s a traditional dessert,” he told you, pulling out a combat knife and slicing it into six pieces. “It can be made in our helmets. Reaper insisted that I use a pan this time.” He winked. “But I think the helmet adds to the flavor.”

“Interesting,” you said, glancing at Reaper, who just chuckled. “Should I get-”

“No need! We have tiingilar, uj’alayi, and behot tea. Plenty of food to go around,” 76 said proudly. He paused, gesturing to the table.

“And I have a few extra bottles of kri’gee and narcolethe, if you’re interested,” Reaper said, a little too innocently. “Now I think he is trying to poison me,” you said, because you weren’t an idiot. Those liquors were very potent.

“I have some extra ne’tra gal,” 76 said, gesturing to the bottle he had. “It’s a much nicer ale.”

“It would go well with the uj’alayi,” Reaper said, setting a bowl of his spicy stew in front of you. He poured you a mug of tea. Then he began doling out portions for himself and 76.

76 put a slice of cake in front of you, along with the open bottle of ne’tra gal.

You took a sip of the sticky sweet ale. It was more potent than you were expecting, but it was Mandalorian alcohol. You then took a small bite of the dense cake. It was rich and sticky, filled with dried fruit, nuts, and some kind of sweet syrup. The syrup had carmelized a little on the outside of the cake, but the inside was almost too sweet, except for the ale that soaked in. You washed it down with more of the ale.

76 watched you eagerly. “What do you think?”

“It’s rich,” you said. “But the ne’tra gal does go well with it.”

“It was originally army rations – lots of calories for a march,” Reaper said. “We thought you might enjoy some traditional Mandalorian food.”

“That was very kind,” you said. “It’s delicious.”

“Do Jedi have tasty traditional food?” 76 asked.

You sat with that for a moment. “...It’s actually kind of bland,” you sighed. “Nutritious, but not fancy. They don’t want us to be “distracted” by such things.” Back in the day, Theron had smuggled you candies, snack foods, and even alcohol. You felt a twinge of annoyance. Back in the day, Theron hadn’t been such an asshole. “I like trying new things though. I had to sneak around in Coruscant – make it look like I was only stopping because I needed “sustenance.” Not because the food stall smelled delicious.”

“We are not encouraged to be easily distracted by food,” Reaper said with a frown. “But there is no harm in enjoying it.”

“...Jedi aren’t supposed to “enjoy” things,” you muttered. “Well, they can, just not…too much.”

“What counts as “too much?” 76 asked, taking a big bite of cake.

You shrugged. “That’s a philosopher’s debate. But we’re meant to focus on denying most temptations. Want and attachment lead to other negative emotions, which lead to hate, which leads to the Dark Side. Let me summarize it for you: everything fun leads to the Dark Side.” You rolled your eyes and took another swig of ale. “Depending on who catches you, that lecture can go on for hours.”

“Enjoying cake leads to becoming a Sith Lord?” 76 chuckled. “I want to eat more. Will that get me my own lightsaber?”

You laughed.

“Your Order has a real fear of this Dark Side,” Reaper said, sipping his tea. “It seems a little convenient, like a method of control.”

“The fear is legitimate, but the safeguards are controversial.” You took another bite of his spicy stew. “It’s complicated.”

“So what happens when a Jedi goes to the Dark Side, becomes dar’jetii? Why is this so dreaded? I have met the dar’jetii of the Empire. Some are reasonable. Many are not. But they are not Jedi, and they are not so much more fearsome.” Reaper’s brows furrowed.

“We’ve fought dar’jetii,” 76 said, chest puffed out. “And we’ve won. Didn’t get to keep the lightsaber though. Captain got it.” He gave you a rueful smile.

“I assume dar’jetii means “Sith.” And that’s part of the problem.” You took another sip of tea, staring at the wall. “There are two different understandings of the terms. The political difference is that Jedi are force-sensitives who work for the Republic. Sith work for the Empire. It is an overly-simple explanation.” You held the mug between your hands, its warmth comforting.

“That is how we understand it,” Reaper said.

“Then you have the philosophical definitions. There are two sides to the Force, Light and Dark. The choices you make in life determine your alignment. There are Imperial Sith, who are fair-minded and compassionate. Even if they may not follow the Jedi Code, they are of the Light, though it would be unwise of them to advertise that.”

“And there are Jedi who are cruel and bloodthirsty, and they are of the Dark?” Reaper asked. “Your Order allows this?”

“No, they do not. In fact, they are dismissed from the Order, and sometimes they are imprisoned. Sometimes it is...worse.” You did not look at them.

“That seems like a tactical disadvantage,” 76 said.

“...It’s more than that.” You switched back to the ne’tra gal. “Sometimes singular choices can swing a Light-side Jedi to the opposite end of the spectrum. They go from honorable, kind, and patient to violent, cruel, and despotic in seconds. Falling is a sudden kind of madness. Often they turn on their friends and allies, killing the people they swore to protect. Sometimes they recover who they were and regret what was done. Sometimes they just become monsters.”

“What causes it? I haven’t heard of Sith having such experiences often.” Reaper asked. “Do they fear an inverse effect?”

You laughed, imagining that for a moment. “No, I guess I haven’t heard of a Sith suddenly being filled with an uncontrollable sense of altruism. At least, not to the same degree. They may switch sides or work to seek redemption, but these are conscious choices.”

“So what makes Jedi so much easier to influence?” 76 asked.

“Well, the Sith Code does encourage a certain amount of violence and backstabbing, but that’s the question, isn’t it? The Jedi Order thinks if we, as individuals, keep our distance from the world, do not get attached to others, and live like ascetics, we can avoid falling. If we just follow their rules, and live in our cloisters, we will be safe.” The bitterness of your words surprised you.

“Is there no middle ground?”

You took another bite of the stew. “That’s also complicated. Allegedly, there is.” You thought of the Gray Jedi. “But it is not an explanation accepted within our Order. I have witnessed people falling. It is...horrible to see someone you have known your entire life changing into the antithesis of themselves.”

“So if...attachment makes them fall, what brings them back? Do you appeal to their honor?” 76 asked.

“Maybe,” you said, because you would give a lot to find the answer to that question. “I think...reminding them what they found to be so important can help.” You thought of Nomen Karr. “But sometimes they are just in denial. They think they are infallible, they think that excuses whatever actions they take, and that accumulation of corruption combined with their own hubris destroys them.” You sighed.

“What causes this madness? The revelation of their own hypocrisies?” Reaper pressed.

“Force users are...vessels. The Force runs through us, it is like a constant stream of energy. That energy can manifest in different ways. Light Side users have certain powers, Dark Side users have others. And then there are some abilities that are so rare, it’s hard to say where they come from. Those are the extremely talented few: I have a friend who can heal broken minds. But I have no idea how to do such things. I am just a better-than-average fighter.” You smiled wryly. “But one of my teachers has a theory. Jedi spend so long keeping out the Dark, that sometimes, if we lower our guards, if we make an emotional choice toward the Dark, suddenly we have opened ourselves up to an outpouring from it. Some of us do not know how to cope and that system shock is too much too quickly, and then we swing to the opposite side.”

“So maybe you should do a few bad things, to keep your mind safe,” Reaper said with a shrug. “Easy enough.”

You laughed. “...maybe. Or maybe that slow acceptance of corruption just makes it easier to fall. That’s a high-risk theory for me to try to prove.”

“So what is an example of how a Jedi falls?” Reaper asked.

You sat there, knowing it wasn’t any of his business, and that you were drinking too much. But it was not a secret. And he wasn’t actually asking about your past. “Say you go into battle, and you really hate the person you are fighting. You have thought long and hard about how they need to die. You know that it is against everything that your Order has taught you, and you don’t care. They might want him as a useful prisoner, but even if he surrenders, you are going to kill him. Or perhaps, you are going to disobey orders – you will pursue him off the battlefield, even if it means leaving your comrades or charges behind. There are many ways. But I think it comes down to, you will look at your choices, you will know that what you choose is wrong, and you will do it anyway.”

Reaper snorted. “That doesn’t sound evil: foolish and undisciplined maybe. But killing certain enemies is sensible.”

“But if it throws off your sense of self…” 76 rubbed his chin.

“That is a problem we do not have to deal with,” Reaper said, brow furrowed. “Perhaps the cost of sorcery is too high. Or perhaps Jedi are weak-minded. Their strictures are too rigid; the conditions they set are unreasonable.”

“This fear of attachment and strong emotion,” 76 mused. “How are they as parents?”

“...Jedi are good caretakers, but not good parents. Because Jedi are not supposed to marry or have kids, so we usually recruit externally,” you said, trying not to think of Theron.

Both men blinked. “What?!”

“We’re warrior monks,” you muttered. “Or supposed to be. There are exceptions, but in general, marriage and other romantic attachments are not encouraged.”

76 and Reaper exchanged meaningful glances.

You could feel the judgment. You finished your ale, suddenly wishing for more.

“So no sex?” 76 asked, his eyes wide.

“...We’re not supposed to,” you said, looking at the table, suddenly embarrassed.

There was a long moment of silence.

“But you don’t always do what you’re supposed to, do you?” Reaper asked, his voice warm and amused.

You bit your lip. “That’s really not your business.”

Reaper gave a low laugh. “I didn’t think so.” He tilted his head to the side, resting his chin in the palm of his hand. “There’s no shame in indulging or abstaining. But something tells me that you’re not the type to shrink away from a challenge.”

You crossed your arms, staring hard at him. Did he need another lesson in humility? “What are you trying to say, Reaper?”

“I’m saying, if you choose to indulge, we’re both interested,” he said plainly, and took another bite of his tiingilar. “And if you don’t, we respect that too.”

You nearly choked on air.

“But we’re a package deal,” 76 said, his expression uncharacteristically somber.

“...Wait, are you married?” You asked, because it was easier than processing what Reaper had just offered.

“Promised,” Reaper said, giving 76 an appreciative smile. “But this one has fought at my side for years, and that matters more than any words spoken.”

76’s cheeks burned pink. He gave Reaper a warm look. “Traditionally, we can just say the vows whenever: in person, over comlink, through letters, and it’s done. But our clan wants to be there to witness it and throw a big party, which isn’t exactly traditional – they usually can wait till afterward.”

“But certain clan-members are insisting that they should attend,” Reaper said.

“And if we didn’t make the allowance our sisters and the Captain would never forgive us,” 76 said with a sigh. “You don’t cross the Captain.”

“And our sisters are unreasonable and very good with their flamethrowers,” Reaper said.

“Oh,” you said, like it all made perfect sense. They were about to be married, but they wanted to invite you to their beds? How did that make any sense? You groped for words. “That’s lovely.”

“You could come too,” 76 said. “There will be plenty of food.”

“...Uh…” You blinked, not sure how to process the proposition, the wedding invitation, and the entire situation.

“76 and I take pride in performing well, be it fighting, cooking, or other recreational activities,” Reaper said smoothly. “If you’re concerned, we’d be happy to give a demonstration.” He leaned over, one arm around 76’s shoulder.

76 nodded happily. “You can think of it as exercise or stress relief.”

“Or you can just watch, if you like, we don’t mind,” Reaper purred, stroking 76’s hair. Those thick metal gauntlets tightened into a fist, pulling 76 closer. Reaper leaned over, pressing a hard kiss to 76’s neck.

The blonde man moaned.

But Reaper was watching you, those dark eyes glittering.

“...I should go meditate,” you said, abruptly standing up and retreating from the room.

#SWTOR #IAL #Crackfic #Reader-Insert #overwatch fanfiction #In Alio Loco AU #In Alio Loco

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kyouxa · 4 years ago

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Diabolik lovers Chaos Lineage: Kou Mukami (Story 06)

In terms of the gameplay: The black choices lead up to a bad ending, the white choices lead up to a good ending. Please no reposting onto other sites, ask me before translating this into another language too! If you enjoy these translations, please consider supporting me on ko-fi.

Place: Violet mansion — Kou’s bedroom

Yui: ….., Nn...

???: Fufu, how adorable...

Yui: (..... ? What exactly is touching me like that? It feels as if I’m being gently patted… fufu, and it tickles a bit too…)

...Nn, …..

*Yui opens eyes*

Yui: ...Eh? Kou… kun… ?

Kou: Good morning, Yui. I’m sorry, did I wake you up?

Yui: No, it’s okay...

(Kou-kun, he usually has troubles waking up earlier, so why is he up before me… ?)

When did you wake up?

Kou: Hmmm, a little while ago, I think?

Yui: If that’s so, I’d be really happy if you wake me up next time then...

Kou: Ehh, but if I do that, I won’t be able to look at your sleeping face.

It was even more fun watching your drool dribble down your face.

Yui: M-My drool!?

(Of all things he had to see, why was it that… !?)

Kou: Haha, you don’t have to wipe your face, it’s okay. I was just messing with you.

Yui: Eh, you were lying… ? But, Kou-kun!

Kou: Sorry, Sorry, I thought that you’d make a really cute expression if I made fun of it.

But… being able to see my M Neko-chan angry is also quite cute, isn’t it?

Yui: Nn...

(It’s so unfair if he shows me such an affectionate smile while saying these types of things. I can’t get mad if he does things like this)

...Now, now, that’s enough.

Kou: Fufu, thanks.

...Ah, I almost forgot to do this. Good morning… mwah.

*Kou kisses Yui*

Yui: Nn… Good morning, Kou-kun.

Kou: It’s been such a long time since I’ve been this carefree.

It’s also one of the nicest feelings waking up with my beloved M Neko-chan in my arms. I guess true happiness really is as simple as that, right?

Yui: Yes...

Kou: ...I wish this here would be the same as in the Mukami house though.

Yui: Eh?

Kou: I just remembered Ruki-kun and the others for a moment right now.

How Yuma-kun takes care of his herb garden, how Ruki-kun made breakfast for me every morning, and how Azusa-kun came to call us to eat...

And how you kept asking to help out changing my clothes.

I know it probably hasn’t been that long since I last saw them like that, but it does feel as if that’s been ages ago...

*Kou hugs Yui*

Kou: ...I really desperately want every day to be like this again.

Yui: Me too. Let’s go back to the Mukami mansion together soon.

(I want us to continuously immerse in those happy memories… but I can’t even do anything about this for now)

(But we have to hold onto those feelings and memories we have)

*Kou stands up*

Kou: Well, even if it’s okay to go home, there are many problems for the time being.

Yui: That’s sadly true. After all we don’t even know where exactly this place is...

And on top of that, everyone has messed up memories and they’re fighting against each other.

Kou: That’s right. Say, M Neko-chan, what do you think we should do now?

Yui: What should we do from now on, you ask?

Choices

1) Put an end to their fighting (black)

2) Try to regain everyone’s memories (white)♡♡♡

— Put an end to their fighting

Yui: I think it’s best to stop them from fighting first. Someone might end up getting hurt again if we don’t do so...

Kou: Stop them from fighting, huh… ? As long as they only remember that one needs to be chosen as the supreme ruler, they won’t stop so easily.

Yui: Hmm, is it possible for us to somehow deny that those memories are right?

I mean, Kou-kun and Azusa-kun… you both also ended up regaining your memories, right? So there has to be a possibility too, right?

— Try to regain everyone’s memories♡

Yui: What about regaining everyone’s memories first? I’m sure there has to be a way to make them remember.

I mean, Kou-kun and Azusa-kun ended up getting their memories back as well.

Kou: It’s surely true that if everyone would remember themselves, this story would be done really quick.

end Choices

Kou: Memories, huh. Memories, Memories… hmmm, how can we get them to remember them?

Yui: I mean, me, Kou-kun and Azusa-kun ended up getting them back. So what do those three people have in common...

(The time it happened at doesn’t matter, right? If you ate or drank something before perhaps… ?)

Kou: Hmm… it’s no use, I can’t think of anything at all!

Haa… at times like those, I wish Ruki-kun would be here.

Yui: Ruki-kun… ? Ah, maybe I have an idea!

You and Azusa-kun both regained your memories while being attacked by Ruki-kun, isn’t that right? And I remembered while my blood was being sucked by you for the first time again.

So maybe it takes a big shock for someone to regain their memories?

Kou: Maybe that’s really the case after all! I was really shocked seeing Ruki-kun’s threatening appearance like that.

It’s definitely worth a try then, right? Alright, let’s try this method on someone we’re close to in this mansion!

Yui: Eh? I-I guess we could do that.

Kou: Well then, now that we’ve decided what to do, we should prepare it right away.

Yui: (Say, Kou-kun, what exactly are we going to do?)

Place: Violet mansion — Corridor

Subaru: …..

Kou: Subaru-kun is here! Are you ready?

Yui: Y-Yeah… but, do we really have to do this?

Kou: Of course! It might be a little of a drastic measure, but this is Subaru-kun after all.

It’s without fail one of the best decisions to have Subaru-kun regain his memories instead of anyone else first.

*footsteps approach*

Kou: He’s coming closer! M Neko-chan, we’ll pull the rope all together when I give you the signal.

...Now! Go!

Yui: (Subaru-kun, I’m so sorry!)

Subaru: Hgah!?

Kou: Hooray, we caught him!

Yui: Y-Yes… we really ended up hitting his head...

Subaru: That hurts… who the fuck!?

Kou: Subaru-kun, do you remember now!?

Subaru: Hah?

Kou: Hey, Hey, do you remember anything? About the Sakamaki mansion or something maybe?

Subaru: What the heck are you talking about… wait, so you were the ones setting this rope up from the very beginning!?

Kou: Crap, he’s really angry! M Neko-chan, let’s run for it!

Yui: E-Ehhhh!?

Subaru: Hey, wait! Don’t fuck around like that!!

Place: Violet mansion — Kou’s bedroom

Kou: Haa, Haa… Ahh, that scared me. I didn’t think he’d get that angry at us...

And here I thought the shock treatment that comes from something falling down on him works, but I guess it didn’t turn as expected.

Okay, then let’s try out our next method!

Yui: (I can’t help but wonder if what we’re doing is really okay…)

Place: Violet mansion — Corridor

Subaru: Tch, just what the fuck did they want to achieve with that?

Kou: …..

Yui: (Subaru-kun doesn’t seem to notice that Kou-kun is approaching him from behind…)

Kou: ...Hyah!

*Kou hits Subaru*

Subaru: Ngh…—

Yui: (Yikes, that gave off a sound. Subaru-kun is holding his head in pain…)

U-Ummm… Subaru-kun...

Kou: Subaru-kun, how about now!?

Subaru: Not you guys doing this bullshit on me again!? What even is this shit about!?

Kou: Uwah, we failed again! Umm, see ya!

*time passes*

Subaru: …..

Yui: ...Subaru-kun, he looks quite cautious now.

(I mean, of course he’ll start becoming vigilant after this type of thing happens twice in a row)

Kou: I hope it will work out this time...

Subaru: Those guys are… nowhere to be seen around here, I think. For real, why do I have such a hard time returning to my room…

*Water drops on Subaru*

Subaru: Gah… !?

Kou: Hooray, we did it!

Yui: (Ah, Subaru-kun is now completely soaked in water because of the bucket that dropped on him…)

Subaru: And of course it’s you guys again… I’m dripping wet because of the bullshit you pulled on me again!

*Subaru punches wall*

Yui: Uwah!

(H-He punched the wall with his bare fist… ! He must be absurdly angry!!)

Kou: Crap! M Neko-chan, come here!

Subaru: Tch, just what is their goal… !?

Place: Violet mansion — Kou’s bedroom

Kou: Hmm, seems as if the shock treatment is way more complicated than we thought it would be, right?

Yui: Aren’t we just being violent rather than giving him shock therapy at this point… ?

Kou: But we can’t give up like that now. We need to do our best for Subaru-kun’s sake!

Yui: (Oh dear, I wonder if that’s okay...)

Place: Violet mansion — Living room

Kou: Subaru-kun~ ♪

Subaru: ...Did you come here to do something to me again!?

Kou: No, No! We’re really sorry about what happened earlier! We’re really regretting what we did, so we thought we should properly apologize to Subaru-kun.

Subaru: What did you do this shit for in the first place?

Kou: M Neko-chan, you can bring it in!

Subaru: Don’t ignore my question like that!!

Yui: Yes, here it is. I prepared quite a lot, so make sure to eat as much as you can, okay?

Subaru: Nn… this smell...

Isn’t this a garlic dish!? Why do you even bother handing me one of the worst dishes as an apology anyway!?

Kou: Now, Now. You might get surprised how good it tastes if you try it, don’t you think?

And as a special deal, I’ll be the one feeding you today♪ Say, aah.

Subaru: I’m not gonna eat that shit!

Kou: And how you’ll eat that! C’mere!

*Kou forces him to eat*

Subaru: Ngah...

Kou: M Neko-chan put a bunch of love into making that dish for you, so the least you can do is eat it all up, right? Open up!

Subaru: Mgh, Ngh...

Kou: And? Wasn’t that delicious?

Subaru: Nn, ...Nn…. Nn...

Yui: (Oh no, Subaru-kun has tears in his eyes…)

Subaru: ...Nn, bwahh… Haa, Haa… I somehow managed to swallow it… fuck, that damn garlic… !

Kou: Subaru-kun! Did you remember something now… ?

Subaru: How am I supposed to know!?

*Subaru punches chair*

Yui: Kyaaa!? Please calm down, otherwise the chair might break!

Kou: Ehh, was this really useless too? I thought it would surely work out like this.

Subaru: What were you two doing this in the first place!? You’re not doing this because of anything dumb now, are you!?

*Subaru hits wall*

Kou: Woah! D-Don’t just hit the wall. We only did this for Subaru-kun’s sake.

Subaru: Hah!?

Yui: (His dreadful voice is surely making a stir! It’s not good to make so much noise!)

Both of you, please calm down! If you keep making this much noise—

*footsteps approach*

Yui: ...Ah… those footsteps are...

Kou: Somehow, I have a really bad feeling about this...

Subaru: Hey… this is all just because of you...

Kou: F-For the time being, why don’t we turn around…. one, two, go!

*they turn around*

Carla: ...You all, what is this mess about?

Place: Violet mansion — Dungeon

Carla: You shall reflect on your actions here.

*Carla leaves*

Kou: W-Wait, Carla-kun!? You know that you didn’t have to lock me up in a place like this...

Carla-kun, wait a second!

*door closes*

Yui: He left…

Subaru: Damn, why am I even here...

Kou: And you still don’t remember anything, Subaru-kun? Even though the both of us worked so persuasively on it.

Subaru: You two were literally dragging me into this malicious bullshit!

Kou: But we were not screwing around, we had a purpose for doing that!

Hey, remember already. We were so close to each other, you know!

Subaru: Just what the frick are you talking about!?

Kou: Ughh, why can’t you remember already!? You’re such an idiot!!

Subaru: You shut up!

Yui: (And once again another dispute began. At this rate, I don’t think we can restore his memories anymore…)

Monologue

—Then, only a few hours later.

Our saviour, Azusa-kun, came back from his reconnaissance and quickly noticed the situation.

After Azusa-kun then suddenly appeared, he hurried over in order to talk things over with Carla-san.

Until Azusa-kun came to open up the prison’s lock with a key, we were held captive.

Place: Scarlet mansion — Living room

Yuma: Tch…

(Reiji that bastard, I’m still waiting for him to give me new orders)

(This is probably part of his strategie, but those tactics don’t seem to fit his usual nature whatsoever)

Ahh… I’m kinda getting annoyed…

Fuck… ! Hey, Shu. I’m going out for a walk for a few minutes!

Shu: Do whatever you want… fwah…

*Shu yawns*

#im updating everyone for new year btw #I said speed #chaos lineage translation #chaos lineage #Diabolik Lovers #diabolik lovers translation #kou mukami #mukami kou #kou mukami chaos lineage #chaos lineage kou mukami #Mukami brothers #mukami #sakamaki subaru #chaos lineage kou Mukami translation #translation

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cardsbizarreadventure · 3 years ago

Note

💘 kiss goodbye from joelle to bowie? :O

💘 kiss goodbye

It was finally over , the fight had came to an end when Dio was officially taken down and this time it was permanently. It almost felt like they won't ever see this day come , but alas it had finally came . The journey was very heavy , but regardless they knew what was going to happen to them if they took this risk to begin with , their heroic acts and deeds won't ever be forgotten. Joelle had been waiting in the airport for at least an hour , she really couldn't wait to get home and collect herself. This journey had left her a lot of scars that she really needed time to heal and gather herself before approaching anything further. She was watching from her seat how Joseph , Jotaro and Polnareff were talking about something , but there was another whole feeling starting to knot in Joe's stomach.. perhaps she wasn't a person that liked goodbyes so much, since most of the time it meant that they won't ever see each other again, maybe she couldn't stand that feeling , she had always had problems with her emotions and she was never good at expressing them properly when it came to certain matters . A small sigh left her lips before she got herself up from her seat and picked up her bag , the moment she began to approach the trio that was standing nearby her , she heard someone call out to her.. a familiar voice... a voice she couldn't really forget. It was none other than Bowie himself. Joe felt her own heart stop for a slight moment before she turned around making sure it was him and it was without a doubt . Joseph gave Joelle an odd look from the side as she just frowned at him. Polareff gave a pat on Joseph's shoulder . ->" Let her say her goodbyes , you worry too much. " Polnareff commented before crossing his arms as Joseph just grunted a bit annoyed , he waved his hand dismissively giving her the signal that she could go say goodbye to her friend. Joe nodded as the expression on her face lit up before she approached the tall brown-haired man , looking up at him. ->" Hey. " Bowie began. ->"I guess you're leaving too, huh?" He brought it up , as Joelle's gaze darted down for a slight moment as she could feel that sensation troubling her from earlier feel a bit more tense now. Bowie just tilted his head to the side a bit curiously , surely he had known Joelle for a period of time but something seemed to bother him , maybe it was the fact that he hasn't seen this strange kind of behavior form her side at all. Was she upset? Was she angry? He couldn't quite pick the proper signal. ->"Yeah.. guess so." She finally spoke up as she just looked to the side , bringing her hand on the side of her arm , beginning to rub it nervously. Something in her wasn't allowing her to look up at him , she couldn't understand this sensation that was forming but it was really starting to bother her . Did she really feel upset..? Or was it something else perhaps? A small sigh left her lips since it felt like her words froze , she didn't know what to really say. Bowie blinked a few times as he adjusted the bag handle that was around his shoulder. ->" I thought I should say bye before I take my leave , seems like our ways are going to part from here... " He spoke up with a soothing tone. ->" I-... I suppose. " Joe barely spoke up , as she continued to look to the side . Bowie gave another odd look , as he felt the hand that was in his pocket and the item he had in there grip on it tightly , it was something he had picked up for Joelle . There was some strange conflict that Bowie that he still couldn't understand himself to a degree and why he felt a certain way , because he knew quite well what the outcome was going to be... was it really proper to give something like this to her? What was she going to think ? It felt so foolish to dive into these sort of emotions once again.. but it always felt like it was always getting the better of him. For a slight moment he thought of just pulling it out and giving it to her , but right there and right now he thought second , because a pinch of doubt was forming in his head. The fact that she wasn't

saying anything was making him feel more and more anxious , so perhaps this time he was going to step back and not fall into the trap of his mind and heart. ->" Well , I have to get going now , my plane will be leaving shortly. Goodbye Joelle. " He spoke up between a long pause at the last thing he said , he just looked away before waving his goodbye and taking his leave. Joelle was standing there , wanting to say so much but there was something blocking it entirely... what are these feelings? what was this emotion that was stinging her so hard that it almost felt like she couldn't breathe. She was so close to reach out and grab him by the arm , but she couldn't. She finally managed to look at him the moment he had turned his back and take his leave. Another kind of sensation was beginning to form in her stomach and this one was worse than before , until she felt something on her shoulder. ->" You know Joe , I don't think it's good to let all these emotions in you pile up like that and never express them. I've seen the way you look at him and the way you did now ... There is something more you want to tell him , if you miss your opportunity now , it might never come again. So what are you going to do? " Those were the exact words Joelle needed to hear right now , she felt her eyes widen for a moment until a small gasp left her lips , she felt the grip on her bag handle tighten up , until she pulled it off and threw it off her shoulder , making a run for it. ->"JOELLE!!" Joseph called out nearly about to go run after her until Polnareff paused him. ->"She'll come back , just give her a moment." Joe began to run , trying to find him among the crows that felt like more and more were forming , she began to push people to the side left and right , trying to find him. 'Where is he... where is he..' a thought crossed her mind since she couldn't see him anywhere. -> "Bowie!!" She called out wondering if he could hear her and stop for a moment , but he was nowhere to be found , Joe began to get more and more anxious by the second until she had finally spotted him right at the entrance of his license to be checked. For a moment there she panicked a lot , she didn't know how things will turn out. What if he didn't feel the same? What if this just destroys their current relationship...? She felt herself clench her fist as all of a sudden time around her paused , no one was moving. It seems like her own stand had triggered itself regardless that Joelle didn't really want to use her powers... she took a deep breath grateful for the few seconds she had to collect her thoughts completely , before she approached closer as time began to move again. She didn't even hesitate as she grabbed him by the hand and pulled him back , as the brown-haired man felt himself almost stumble backwards until he noticed who had pulled him back , he looked down at the purple-haired woman standing right in front of him about to say something. ->"Joe-..." He began until he felt the cloth of his shirt being pulled on , dragging him down towards her as soon he felt something really strange hit him ... he couldn't believe it , it seems like she had a bit more courage than himself... he felt something very warm and soft against his lips... it was Joelle's lips. It took him a while to process what just happened as he just stared down in shock at her as she finally pulled away and looked up at him very serious. ->" Listen , I know you probably don't feel the same way , but this feeling has been bothering me for a long time and I can't understand why I feel this way after spending time with you ... I don't know what came over me and I can't understand why but.. but even that time when I saw you with that woman you were trying to talk to I just... I just wanted to punch her in the face!! And I don't really know why I began to feel this kind of anger pile in ... I just ... " The blood in her cheeks began to boil , she began to panic even more as she began to throw out anything that came to her mind , wondering what he might think of her now , she felt how her

heart was going to burst out of her chest , she couldn't bare to look up at him after what she did , Joelle felt like any kind of relationship she had built with him just shattered to pieces , until something happened... she felt a pair of hands cup her face as she felt a force pull her closer , her gaze darted towards that direction until she saw Bowie's face lower in closer , pressing his lips against her own. Joe flinched slightly as she felt her entire face flush pink the moment she felt him kiss her. She took a moment before closing her eyes completely , almost melting into his gentle touch before he pulled away and just smiled softly. Joe just stared up at him with her face as red as a tomato , it almost felt like she could hear her own heartbeat in her ears because all sorts of emotions were attacking her at the same time. ->" I do feel the same way... but I never really thought it would work between us because of what kind of circumstances were thrown at us... Maybe I was just afraid that I would ruin what we had now and that's something I wouldn't live down so easily... it hurt to think about it , so I just tried to push it aside so it doesn't get more complicated... but it seems like I was completely wrong about it... " Bowie spoke up softly , as he just stared down at her red face. He felt himself relax because the anxious feeling from earlier felt like it completely disappeared . ->" I was too ... you don't hate me do you?" She looked up at him looking like she was about to cry. The smile on Bowie's face grew wider before she leaned down pressing his forehead against hers. ->" Of course not.. it's the complete opposite .. " He let out a small chuckle , as he continued to hold her face softly. Joe just closed her eyes for a moment , trying to calm down from the amount of sensations that were making even her own knees weak at the moment as they stood like that for a short period before Bowie pulled away. ->" I knew it was going to be hard to say goodbye... so I just wanted to avoid that ... but it seems like something else caught up to me and as much as it might be hard right now , I'm happy that I got to meet you.. " The brown-haired man spoke up before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small keepsake , handing it over to her. ->"I wanted to give you this a while back... not as a goodbye gift ... more like a promise that we will see each other again in time... or maybe something small to remember me by... even if we might not see each other again.." Joe took the small shaped box as she took a short moment to examine it before opening it , a small smile formed on her face as she closed it. ->"I want to give you something too... give me your hand. " She extended her hand as Bowie blinked a few times before he reached forward , Joe placed her hand on top of the inside of his palm as something in between the small space of their hands began to glow , the moment Joe pulled her hand away , there was a small yellow flower that was glowing with a very warm and vibrant energy. Bowie gasped in surprise. ->" When ever you're feeling doubts... or even feeling lonely... just remember that there is someone out there that cares for you with their entire heart and soul... I guess it wouldn't really be a goodbye gift either.. " She'd let out a small chuckle as she blushed , noticing the light blush on Bowie's face as well. ->"I know I can't keep you here forever since you have a flight to catch and I really don't want you to go ... but promise me that we will see each other again... " Joe glanced up at him with hopeful eyes , as he just did a little nod before leaning down to give her another small kiss on the lips. ->"I promise." And with that the two of them separated at that moment , even if they were far away from each other , they will always feel close no matter the distance or the circumstances . Joe waved her goodbye to the brown-haired man as he took his leave , she glanced down at the small heart shaped box in her hand as a soft smile formed on her face. "... We'll see each other again soon... I

promise you..."

#jojo oc #jjba oc #joelle joestar #joelle joestar ask #joelle ask #Bowie #kiss tag #kiss meme #symbol tag #symbol meme #// that moment when you make a story out of nowhere #// and now my heart is dying #// because I officially love them even more ;~;#// Hermes why you gotta do this to me GDHFDJ-#// a heads up that the mentioned woman is just a random character it's no ones OC or anything xD

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avtrkyoshis · 4 years ago

Text

You Burn First (zuko x f!reader) pt. 3

hey guys this chapter took a lot longer than expected. stay tuned for chapter 4 and 5 because they’re gonna get spicy.

ao3 link & a special spotify playlist

masterlist // chapter 1 // chapter 2 // chapter 4

Y/n stretched her arms over her head, feeling the tension release from her stiff shoulders. She looked around her room as she shifted into a lunge and continued to stretch. Her new quarters in the palace were much bigger than she was used to. It made sense that she was provided with such luxuries, she was the Fire Lord’s personal bodyguard after all.

The days following her official position change had been busy. Not only had the security around the palace gotten stricter since the attack, but Y/n had been briefed on all of her new responsibilities. She’d been given a much more detailed tour of the palace and was shown some of the more hidden spots of the palace grounds. She was also given Zuko’s weekly schedule, as it was expected of her to attend all meetings and events with him. One glance at the packed timetable was enough to make her exhausted.

Strangely, Y/n was also given books on Fire Nation etiquette and history. On her first night as Zuko’s bodyguard, she’d briefly flipped through them and fought back a groan. She knew the Fire Nation was stuck up with their rules, but she’d never imagined it was this intense. Even under Zuko’s more lenient rule there was so much she needed to be aware of. She’d flopped back onto her ridiculously large bed and let herself drown in her homesickness. Y/n missed Kyoshi Island.

Despite her wanting to rebel and refuse these changes, Y/n never spoke up against it. She didn’t want to disrespect Suki or the Kyoshi Warriors. They had all agreed that she was the best person for this job and who was she to disobey. The Kyoshi Warriors are what Y/n prided herself on the most.

She flattened her body out to begin her push-ups and continue her work out. There was no point in dwelling on how she’d gotten here, she needed to focus on her job. If Y/n remembered correctly, she was meant to attend some meetings with Zuko today. She wasn’t meant to meet up with him for at least another hour, which gave her plenty of time to complete her morning routine.

A knock on her door startled Y/n out of her push-ups. She swore as she lost count of her reps and reached for a towel to wipe the sweat off of her face.

“Come in,” she called.

The door swung open to reveal Zuko, already dressed in his Fire Lord robes. He wore his hair mostly down today, save for the small bun atop his head that held his crown in place. Y/n had noticed that despite wearing it up most days, he preferred to wear his hair this way. She thought it looked better down anyway.

His nose was buried in a stack of papers as he walked towards her, brow furrowed in concentration. Y/n swung her towel over one shoulder and placed her hands on her hips.

“Something in those papers frustrating you?” she asked.

Zuko sighed, “It’s nothing very important, just some reports on how the current harvest is going. I try to devote my attention to every report that comes my way, but I can’t say I find wheat crops that interesting.”

Y/n couldn’t help the grin that slipped through her normally stoic features. She’d noticed that Zuko was a very attentive Fire Lord. He dedicated much of his time to his nation, addressing even the most minor complaint from an average citizen. Y/n respected that about him.

Her musing was interrupted by Zuko looking up from his stack of papers for the first time since entering her room. His eyes widened as he took in Y/n, dressed in her typical exercise clothes of shorts and an athletic top. She knew she was fit, but she was suddenly hyper-aware of her body as Zuko blatantly stared at her abs. All of the Kyoshi Warriors followed similar exercise routines that prepared them for the style of fighting they preferred. Y/n was used to seeing the other Kyoshi Warriors in similar states to the one she was currently in and being seen by them in the same way. However, the stare Zuko was giving her made her ears burn.

“Um. Did you need something from me Fire Lord?” Y/n said.

Her sudden breaking of the silence shocked Zuko back to reality. He jumped, amber eyes darting to her face as a blush began to colour his cheeks. He cleared his throat and seemed very interested in the floor all of a sudden.

“Y-yes actually. I wanted to warn you about some of the meetings we’re meant to attend today.”

“Warn me?”

“Unfortunately, yes. We’re meeting with some high ranking officials in the Fire Nation today. I’m sure you’ve seen it in the books you were given, but the Fire Nation takes etiquette very seriously. Everything down to the order in which you introduce yourself will be important.” Zuko told her.

Y/n clenched her jaw. She had expected to be subjected to the judgement of Fire Nation officials eventually, but she didn’t expect it to be so soon. She exhaled harshly through her nose, suddenly feeling nervous.

Zuko seemed to sense her anxiety.

“Don’t stress over it too much. It’s not too many people and I’ll brief you on what to say while we walk over,” he said. He paused and his expression softened a bit. “Just trust me. You may be my bodyguard but I won’t let any of these stuffy old men push you around.”

He smirked suddenly, the kindness in his eyes shifting to playfulness.

“Besides, anything you do wrong will reflect poorly on me. I can’t have anyone spreading rumours about the Fire Lord’s disrespectful bodyguard.”

Y/n scoffed and rolled her eyes at him. If she’d done that in front of anyone else, she knew they would’ve been in shock. Blatantly disrespecting the Fire Lord must be pretty high up on the list of things she wasn’t supposed to do as his bodyguard. Despite that, Zuko seemed to let her snarky comments slide.

“I’ll meet you in front of your room in an hour. Give me time to become… less sweaty,” Y/n told him.

This seemed to remind Zuko of her current state and a blush dusted his cheeks again.

“Of course,” he muttered. He shuffled back towards her door and slipped out.

Y/n shook her head.

An hour later, they were walking together towards the throne room for the meeting. Zuko seemed to refuse to refer to it as a war room, so she figured it was best to follow suit. He was listing off the proper order that she should greet the officials they were meeting, how deep she should bow for each, their titles, and so many other details. Y/n was thankful for her experience in memorizing fighting forms and names. Otherwise, she would be completely lost.

“And don’t maintain eye contact for too long. They might think that’s rude. But don’t be too brief, that could come off as rude as well. You definitely need to make eye contact with each of them though, I can’t have them thinking I’m playing favourites,” Zuko told her.

“Is there anything I can do that won’t offend them?”

“Most likely not.”

“Fantastic.”

“It won’t be that bad,” he said, “Try to just follow my lead.”

Y/n swallowed a groan. They had reached the throne room too fast for her liking. Zuko turned to her, looking like he was about to give her a final pep talk. Instead, his face turned sombre.

“Trust me. I won’t let anything bad happen. I’ve had my experience with disrespecting arrogant old men and it’s not something I would wish on anyone.”

Y/n furrowed her brow. She wasn’t sure what he was referring to, she hadn’t been told of anything happening with Zuko’s recent meetings. Unconsciously, she looked at Zuko’s scar. A heavy feeling in her stomach told her that it was related to what he was saying.

Eyes shifting towards the door, he continued, “Anyway, let’s head in. I’m sure you want to get this over with as much as I do.”

Without waiting for her response, Zuko pushed the doors open and headed inside. Y/n followed close behind him.

The throne room was as she remembered it being the last time she was in there. There were the new additions of a long table leading to the Fire Lord’s throne, as well as three older men sitting at it. They were dressed in deep red robes, indicating their high status within the Fire Nation. Y/n knew they weren’t military officials like she had initially expected, but simply members of the Fire Nation nobility that resided within the capitol. She could tell by the way they held themselves that they were aware of their importance. From what Zuko had told her, these particular men had been a nuisance for him. They had been resistant towards Zuko’s efforts to change the way the Fire Nation viewed themselves and the rest of the world.

Zuko sat down at the head of the table. Y/n was not sure whether to simply stand by him until Zuko indicated for her to sit beside him.

From the looks on the Fire Nation nobles, they were not pleased. Probably by her presence. Y/n awkwardly shifted in her chair, not even sure what to do while the men began to converse.

“We need more military presence in our colonies,” one of the men started. “The Earth Kingdom citizens need to be reminded of where they live. Since the end of the war they’ve started to forget who’s in charge.”

Y/n’s face flushed with anger. All she could hear coming out of his was pure nonsense. How could these old men know what was right for the Earth Kingdom? After all, they were directly responsible for all the conflict and war, she thought to herself.

Y/n nails dug deeper into the palm of her hand. It took everything in her to refrain from going up to them and punching them. She almost did. Until she felt a hand lightly graze her arm under the table. She looked up only to see it was Zuko touching her. He gave her a sympathetic look. As if to say he understood.

Y/n’s feelings for the Fire Lord were always quite complicated. On the one hand, his father and people were directly responsible for so many heinous crimes. Yet he was almost different. He cared.

Zuko cleared his throat, silencing the room. Immediately everyone, including Y/n, could not help but stare directly.

“No. That is the exact opposite of what we must do. For so long our military presence has harmed so many. We stand for so much more now. The colonies represent a new future for both Nations, we exist in balance with the Earth Kingdom citizens. The Fire Nation is no longer in charge of the colonies and we have no right to threaten the people living there. ”

Y/n couldn’t help but smile to herself. The old men looked shocked at Zuko’s answer. Zuko stared them down, eyes daring them to challenge him. The one who had initially spoken bowed his head towards Zuko.

“Fire Lord, I strongly suggest you reconsider. Although the war is over, the world needs to remember the power the Fire Nation holds.”

Her proximity to Zuko allowed for Y/n to feel how the air around him quickly heated at the noble’s response. She knew how it was common for fire benders to accidentally trigger their bending when experiencing intense emotion. The noble’s seemingly polite answer had been loaded with a complete disregard of Zuko’s vision for the future, a fact which had clearly angered him.

“I will be doing no such thing. You have shown a complete ignorance towards my vision for the future of the Fire Nation and the harm that we caused during the war. The Earth Kingdom citizens are good people deserving of respect, treating them as such will not taint their view of the Fire Nation. The only presence we should have in the other nations is one of peace.”

With Zuko’s statement they left.

“I appreciate what you did in there. But you didn’t have to hold me back. I can handle myself,” she stammered.

“I know you can,” he looked at her with those eyes, “I just don’t know if they can.”

The two of them stood alone together. The heat from Zuko’s anger during the meeting lingered on her skin. They stayed there, looking at each other, until their conversation was interrupted by the best sort of interruption.

Ty Lee ran up to Y/n and engulfed her in a hug. For a second she could not breathe, but the best sort of hugs are the ones that squeeze the life out of you. The two girls had met in boiling rock where they quickly became friends. But if Ty Lee liked her, that had to say something about her character.

It took a moment for Y/n to notice the person that had been with Ty Lee. Azula stared at them intently. Y/n didn’t understand why. They were just standing together after all.

“Looks like my ugly brother finally found someone special.”

Ty Lee playfully nudged Azula’s arm and said, “Azula you know Y/n is just his bodyguard.”

“The same way you’re just my bodyguard too,” she smirked at Ty Lee.

Y/n felt like she had intruded on something she shouldn’t have. By the look on Zuko’s face, he felt the same. But Zuko always looked uncomfortable, it was part of his charm.

“Have you packed for Ember Island Y/n?” Ty Lee said, trying to shift the conversation in a different direction.

“Ember Island?”

“Didn’t Zuko tell you? Suki thought it was best we all go for a bit until the whole assassin situation calms down. Well, really it was supposed to just be Zuko. But we could all use a little vacation,” Ty Lee said.

First Y/n had to become the Fire Lord’s personal bodyguard and now she was going on vacation with him and his friends? Things could not get any crazier. What she didn’t understand was why Zuko didn’t bring it up? It just made no sense for him to keep it from her. Her confusion must’ve shown on her face, as Azula’s smirk got more mischievous.

“Looks like there’s some trouble in paradise. You guys really need to work on your communication skills as a couple.”

“Azula!” Ty Lee nudged her harder.

“Make sure you pack plenty of sunscreen for Zuzu. He tends to burn easily,” Azula said.

“Azula!”

“What! Oh. Wow look at the time Ty Lee. We really should be going.”

masterlist // chapter 1 // chapter 2 // chapter 4

tag list

@duh-dobrik @inthebisonsmouth @thaliawhitex @brbtryagainlater @paenitetmi

@firelordtea @awkwardnesshabitat

#my writing #you burn first #Zuko x reader #zuko x oc #zuko #atla #avatar #zuko x female reader #azula #ty lee #avatar fanfiction

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sunflower-smiles · 4 years ago

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hello, i’ve been struggling with this for a while now. i think it’s some type of anxiety. i just overthink so much sometimes to the point where i’m unable to talk in certain situations. like i can’t express myself properly, because i’m overthinking THAT moment and what i’m about to say, and how i sound, how i come across ... etc. it’s really bad. idk how to stop it. i have also gotten really self-critical ... and i hate that, i have to pick at every little thing! even though there is nothing wrong with me, but my mind constantly thinks there is! i constantly think i’m broken ... and need to fix something about myself, i obsess over every little ‘wrong’ thing about myself, and often after social interactions over everything i said, HOW i said it, and then i’m kinda mad at myself that i couldn’t really talk so freely and have a nice chill conversation and i blame it on a ‘bad day’ and i have been having these ‘bad days’ a lot lately, somehow i just can’t let it go or let it be, my mind doesn’t work like that, and so yea, on some days! i have these difficulties, talking, because i overthink too much ... any tips? i really need help with this

Hi, thanks for coming to me with this.

I think you are right and this definitely sounds like social anxiety. I also struggle with this currently so here are some tips.

Wear comfortable clothing; this may sound completely unrelated but wearing something that you are 100% comfortable in -ie. a favourite hoodie, hat etc.- will help you feel more grounded when you are anxious. maybe a shirt that smells like a parent or partner.

Have a fidget; when you are in a situation you feel uncomfortable in, like a conversation where you are doubting yourself, it can be helpful to have something to keep your hands occupied. this can be something low-key like a necklace or bracelet. when you are talking to someone and you start to feel anxious, using that fidget will keep your mind at ease. (i wear a rubber band on my wrist to play with).

Practice affirmations; affirmations are a great way to build confidence. This doesn't have to be complicated or hard. Just in the morning repeat to yourself the things you wish to change. for example: “i am confident” “i have no doubts” “i love myself and i am proud of myself” “today will be a good day”. if those do not sound appealing the internet is full of good resources, just google positive daily affirmations.

Make a list -literally or in your mind- of all the things you did well today. if you keep telling yourself that today was a ‘bad day’ then your brain will believe it. for example, if one day you had 3 panic attacks and feel like you flunked a conversation, accept that, but also think about all the good things, like how you pet a dog and it made you happy, or you ate a really good cookie, or you got a math question correct etc. Just like you can exaggerate the bad things, exaggerate the good things; maybe that coffee you had this morning wasn't just good, maybe it was the best coffee you've had all year. make life exciting again.

Spend time alone or with pets; people can be exhausting, so take some time every day just for yourself. do something you like, or just lay on the ground and stare at the ceiling. give your brain time to rest. being anxious is so tiring and you deserve a break. pets are also nice because, unlike people, they can't talk, they just enjoy your company:)

Talk to a parent or friend you feel comfortable with; if you are having trouble talking to people this step may be hard. but the conversation doesn't have to be long. maybe go up to your friend who you trust and say “hi ____ makes me stressed, do you mind if you did it with me?” sometimes having someone there for support is extremely helpful. even if they just stand there, you know they can bail you out if needed.

Ask for help; if this continues to affect your everyday life I would recommend asking to see a counselor or a therapist who can give you tools to cope. if you already see one tell them about how you are feeling lately and say you might need extra support or to try a new approach. there is no shame in needing help!

Lastly, be yourself. i know at times it feels like everyone is watching you and you are all alone but here's the truth. no one cares. everyone is too worried about how people are viewing them to even pay attention. everyone is their own worst critics. and in those moments when you feel like all eyes are on you, take a look around and notice that everyone is doing their own thing.

we all just woke up on this crazy floating rock one day and are trying to make the best of it. so here's my 100% honest advice straight from my heart. do whatever the fuck you want to do. because in the end, who the fuck cares. it's not that deep. and once you let go of the feeling that it is, life gets so much brighter. life is short so fill it full of things that you love doing, and make the best of it.

stay safe,

xoxo

*disclaimer* i am in no way a mental health professional, i hold no accountability to your triggers or if my advice gets you into trouble of any kind. take everything i say with a grain of salt, i am 16 years old. if anything i say upsets you please let me know in a respectful manner via pm. this disclaimer is not specific to this post i will put it with all my responses. thank you.

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cheemers-writing-archive · 3 years ago

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Nothing Else Like It: Chapter 7

It was another peaceful boat ride, and Jotaro yet again had the task of telling Yorokobi that they were about to arrive at their destination. This time, however, he couldn’t pretend to push her off of the boat, because they were below deck, and he didn’t want to anyway. He knew what would happen if he provoked Yorokobi.

Not that he would have a chance to come up with anything else to mess with her, anyway. Her and Kakyoin were chatting happily together, and anything he tried to do would be spotted before he could carry it out.

“Hey, you two,” Jotaro walked up to them, “we’re gonna be in India pretty soon. Get your stuff ready.”

Yorokobi gave Jotaro a nod before going back to talking. Really, the only thing that changed between the two of them was Yorokobi addressed Kakyoin as Noriaki now.

“Okay, if you get left on the boat, I won’t be sorry,” Jotaro said.

“He’s right,” Kakyoin sighed. “We should get going.”

“Okay, okay,” Yorokobi replied. “Then let’s go, Noriaki.”

Kakyoin had a light blush as they walked down to the dock.

The moment the crew left the boat, they were bombarded with a large crowd.

“No, thank you!” Joseph yelled. “I don’t want any medicine!”

“Get your grubby hands off of my luggage!” Polnareff exclaimed.

“Thank you for your kindness, but we already have a hotel ready,” Avdol said.

Yorokobi found herself standing by Jotaro, and the two of them had lots of little kids surrounding them.

“If you don’t give us a tip, you won’t go to Heaven,” one of the kids said.

Yorokobi looked at these children, with their big eyes staring up at her, and couldn’t help but feel a little sympathetic when she noticed their torn up clothing.

“Don’t give in, Yorokobi,” Jotaro warned. “They want you to feel bad.”

“But what if they aren’t faking this?” Yorokobi asked. “I can’t just let them go hungry.” she reached into her pockets, but realized something very quickly.

“Jojo?”

“Yeah?”

“My wallet was stolen.”

Jotaro chuckled. “Good luck finding a way to give those brats money, because I’m not doing it for you.”

When Jotaro looked back at his sister, she shared the same expression as the kids around them. While she looked down at the children, trying to communicate that she was sorry, Jotaro sighed.

“You owe me one.”

Yorokobi turned to Jotaro with a wide smile as he took some money from his wallet and tossed it down.

“Thank you, mister!” one of the kids said before they all rushed off.

Jotaro met eyes with Yorokobi again, who was still smiling.

“That definitely wasn’t worth it,” he grumbled, hiding his face behind his hat. “Next time you want to give in to those little brats, don’t expect me to help.”

“Sure, sure,” Yorokobi chuckled. She looked around to see if she could find anyone else from their group, when she saw a waving hand. Avdol’s hand.

“Hey, everyone’s waiting for us.” She yanked Jotaro’s sleeve, and the two walked to the rest of the group.

Once they were finally out of the large crowds, the six of them took a breather at a restaurant.

“Man, talk about culture shock,” Joseph sighed.

“You really have to watch your back, or you can lose all of your money in an instant,” Kakyoin added.

“Or you could lose it from your sister’s pitiful little face pouting at you,” Jotaro muttered.

“I was not pouting at you!” Yorokobi frowned. “I was pouting in general because I didn’t have anything to give to those kids.”

Jotaro made a tch sound. “Well, you would have been pouting all day.”

“Don’t complain. Like you said, I ‘owe you one’.” Yorokobi finished her sentence with a bad impression of her brother.

“I don’t sound like that.”

“Do too.”

“Both of you, stop fighting,” Joseph said. “Our menus are here.”

Yorokobi stuck her tongue out at Jotaro and pulled her lower eyelid down before turning to her menu. Before she could open her mouth to order, Polnareff slammed open the bathroom door.

“A Stand!” he shouted. “Where’s the user? Where?” After he scanned the room, he ran outside. Confused, the rest of them followed suit.

“Where are you going?” Joseph asked.

“The Stand user who uses mirrors attacked me!” Polnareff replied. “The one Jotaro heard about, the man with two right hands, who killed my sister. I’m going to look for him and take his life!”

“Wait, Polnareff, calm down,” Yorokobi said. “Think this through.”

“Calm down?” he shouted. “Calm down?! The man I’ve plotted revenge against for years is right here, waiting for me, and you’re telling me to calm down? If someone killed Jotaro and they were waltzing about on the street, would you not go after them immediately?”

Yorokobi didn’t pay much attention to what happened afterward. She was too busy in her head trying to think of what Polnareff should do. Sure, an indescribable amount of anger would definitely overwhelm her if Jotaro was killed, and she would absolutely go after that guy, but at the same time, Polnareff wasn’t in his right state. But she wouldn’t be either. It was a complicated question, and in the end, she decided that Polnareff was old enough to make his own decisions. Of course, by the time she zoned back in to reality, Polnareff had left, and everyone seemed really disheartened.

“On a completely unrelated note,” Yorokobi said, “I’m going to go on a small walk.”

“Oh, not alone, you’re not,” Joseph replied.

“Why not?” Yorokobi asked. “I can defend myself against anyone I need to!”

“Not against a Stand user,” Joseph scolded. “You won against the guy at sea because you were very lucky. Luck may play a part in our Joestar blood, but don’t bet your life on it.”

“I’ll go,” Kakyoin said. Yorokobi gave him a slight smile until Jotaro shoved him out of the way.

“I know you two want to be around each other all the time now, but I have some important things to talk about with Yorokobi,” he replied. Kakyoin nodded.

“Hey!” Yorokobi exclaimed. Jotaro yanked her back, and the two started walking.

“What do you have against me and Noriaki walking together, jackass?” Yorokobi snapped.

“Nothing,” Jotaro replied. “It’s just that if the Stand user following us attacks, I’d rather you watch me die than Kakyoin.”

Yorokobi tilted her head.

“I’ve felt someone’s presence following our group ever since we arrived in India,” Jotaro continued. “Kakyoin’s Stand isn’t great for upfront combat, so it makes sense that I should keep the only non-Stand user of our group safe.”

Yorokobi grunted, but continued walking in silence. Jotaro was right, after all, she felt the presence, too. After the two had been walking for a couple of minutes, Jotaro suddenly stopped. He pulled Yorokobi behind his back, and summoned Star Platinum.

“Come on out,” he said. “If you wanted to avoid conflict with me, then you wouldn’t have followed Yorokobi and I out here.”

A man slowly appeared from an alley. He had light brown hair, tan skin, and a confident look in his eye.

“Well, you found me,” he shrugged. “But that won’t stop me from winning the battle.”

The enemy’s Stand sent a fist straight toward Jotaro’s stomach, but Star Platinum blocked it. At least, it should have. The Stand’s fist not only phased through Star, but extended to phase through both Jotaro and Yorokobi’s stomachs. When the fist pulled back, both had fainted and were laying on the floor. The man looked down at the two, then walked off.

“They’re in for quite the surprise when they wake up,” he muttered to himself.

***

When she finally came to, Yorokobi grunted and attempted to lift herself off the ground. Although she knew that the Stand’s attack hit her, she felt no pain or injury. That was usually a bad sign. Now she needed to know what really happened to her.

“Jojo, are you okay?” she asked. Oh, no. For starters, her voice was insanely low. Lifting herself off the ground, she noticed how far away the earth was from her eyes. She also noticed her shadow shape. It looked far different than it usually did, for some reason. It didn’t help that there was something that looked like the rim of a cap blocking some of her vision. From what she could see, it looked a little like…

“I’m fine,” Jotaro winced. He did a double-take. Since when did his voice get so high-pitched? As he got up, he brushed off some dirt that clung to his clothes. Except… these weren’t his clothes. The clothes on him weren’t even his style, let alone the clothes he wore every single day. In fact, this body shape wasn’t his, either. This shape looked a lot more like…

No.

The two siblings immediately started examining the body they were in, patting themselves, turning in weird ways to see more of themselves, and grabbing pieces of clothing. Jotaro grabbed long strands of hair, and Yorokobi grabbed a chain attached to a black school uniform.

“Jojo?” Yorokobi said.

“What?” Jotaro replied.

“I’m scared to look at you.”

“Well, we’ll have to face it eventually, if we want to repair this. We turn around on the count of three.”

“Okay.”

“One,” Jotaro said. He let out his final moments of panic.

“Two,” Yorokobi continued. She squinted her eyes shut.

“Three!” they both shouted at once. The moment the two turned around, all of their fears were confirmed. Jotaro looked up at his body, while Yorokobi looked down at hers.

Jotaro and Yorokobi had swapped bodies.

The two stared at each other for a moment longer, until Yorokobi screamed.

“My God, Yorokobi,” Jotaro went to pull down the brim of his hat, but instantly realized the problem with that and put his hands in his pockets. So the rumors were true, girl’s pockets really were that shallow. “Stop making a scene. You’re attracting unwanted attention.”

“Stop making a scene?” Yorokobi griped. “What part of this isn’t clicking with you? I’m you! You’re me! Do you not see the problem?”

“I see the problem crystal clear, but unlike you, I’m making sure that you don’t look like a fool in public,” Jotaro huffed.

Yorokobi balled her hands, teeth grinding together, until she noticed something that most people wouldn’t.

“You’re sweating.”

“What?”

“You’re just as freaked out about this as me,” Yorokobi said. “You just don’t want to admit it. But I can see you sweating. You always sweat when you’re in a really stressful situation.”

Now it was Jotaro’s turn to ball his fists, but it went away much quickly. “At least I’m not screaming about it.”

“You want to.”

“Shut up. Screaming won’t fix anything. Finding the Stand user and beating the living daylight out of him will.” Jotaro jerked his head forward. “Let’s go. I’m not letting you out of my sight.”

“As if I couldn’t throw you to the other side of the city,” Yorokobi muttered, then said at a normal volume, “Where are we going?”

“To find the user or one of our friends. Whichever one comes first.”

“Okay,” Yorokobi shrugged. When she finally took a step, she cringed. Jotaro groaned.

“What’s wrong now?”

“Your… I…” Yorokobi tried to say, “I’ve never felt something in between my thighs before.”

Jotaro clenched his teeth together as a light blush dusted his cheeks. He once again went to grab his hat, but quickly changed it to look like he was stretching his arm. “Good grief.”

While the two of them were walking, Jotaro spoke again. “Hey, there’s some cigarettes in my coat pocket. Can you get one out for me?”

“Are you kidding?” Yorokobi said. “Do you know what’s in those things? I’m not letting you inhale literal smoke in my body.”

“As if some measly smoke is more dangerous than being held underwater, getting heat stroke, traveling from Japan to Egypt with enemies constantly on our tail so we can go fight a vampire, and other things.”

“The fact that you can’t wait until we’re back in our normal bodies means you’re addicted.”

“I never said I couldn’t wait.”

“Then wait,” was the last thing Yorokobi said before the two of them went silent again. Neither wanted to talk very much since their new voices threw them off each time they opened their mouths.

After a while, Jotaro sighed. “Fine, if you won’t hand me a cigarette, I’ll get one myself.” He suddenly lunged at Yorokobi and reached into his coat pocket to get his packet.

“Hey, back off!” Yorokobi yelled. She attempted to pry Jotaro off of her, which, surprisingly, ended in success. With much less effort than she was used to, she elbowed Jotaro off and he rolled a little as he fell to the ground.

Yorokobi looked down at her hands, then back at Jotaro, laughing. “Guess who’s the stronger one now?” she taunted.

“If you try anything, I’ll pay it back ten times as hard when we’re back in our own bodies,” Jotaro threatened through gritted teeth.

“I know, I know,” Yorokobi rolled her eyes. It was true, she knew Jotaro would hit back, but something about the fact that she was the stronger one now made her heart override her head, and she gently nudged Jotaro with her shoulder. Of course, it put a lot more force on her brother than she was used to.

“Oops,” she grinned.

Jotaro glared at Yorokobi, and nudged her back. To his dismay, it did next to nothing. He let out a little grunt, and tried again, but harder. Still nothing.

“Is that all you got?” Yorokobi taunted. Now, both of them had stopped in the street, Yorokobi waiting for Jotaro’s next move.

Jotaro hmphed, then faced forward. “We don’t need to waste time, we need to find the enemy,” he said, and continued walking.

Yorokobi grumbled. “I’m not letting you go down without a fight,” she argued. “It’s a disgrace to everything I stand for, and right now, you’re me.” She shoved Jotaro’s head, and he growled as he went to shove Yorokobi back. However, his head was suddenly caught in front of a huge hand that pushed him back and made him tumble to the ground yet again.

“Good,” Yorokobi nodded. “I was afraid you weren’t gonna play the part there.” However, as Yorokobi started walking again, she tripped and fell. Behind her, Jotaro laughed.

“Oops,” he grinned.

Yorokobi gritted her teeth, but let that sneer turn into a smile. “Touché,” she muttered.

After a little more walking around, Yorokobi spoke again. “So, what do we do for bathroom breaks?”

“I’ve just been holding it,” Jotaro shrugged.

“Yeah, but I can’t hold it any longer,” Yorokobi replied.

Jotaro groaned. “Okay, fine, we’ll find a restroom. Just don’t make it awkward.”

“I’m more worried about you.” Yorokobi gave Jotaro a half-smile, but it didn’t get rid of the tension in the air.

Once the two found a restroom, they stared at the sign of the door they were about to enter. They gulped, then turned their heads to each other.

“Good luck,” Yorokobi said.

“This is a bathroom break, no need to act like we’re going to war,” Jotaro replied. “But good luck to you, too.”

Both doors opened and closed, and in a few minutes, they opened again. The siblings both had a war-torn expression and a very heavy blush.

“Never again,” they said to each other.

After getting through the terrifying experience she just had, Yorokobi started thinking about their whole situation. She was starting to get used to Jotaro’s body, and she kind of liked it a little bit. She liked the wind hitting her neck, the build of the physique, and even the low voice. She started to think that she liked it better than her body.

“You know, Jojo,” Yorokobi said, “if we don’t ever find that Stand user who swapped our bodies, it wouldn’t be so bad, would it?”

“Are you kidding?” Jotaro replied. “I’d rather die than stay in this body for the rest of my life.”

“Y-yeah,” Yorokobi laughed. “Me too.” She looked down at the ground and stuffed her hands in her pockets.

“Luckily, we won’t need to worry about that, because I just saw the Stand user,” Jotaro pointed over at the man that the two saw that morning. The man gasped, then ran in the other direction. However, he didn’t go long before running into Joseph, Kakyoin, and Polnareff, then falling to the ground.

“Star Platinum!” Jotaro called out. He ran over to the man and pummeled him until he was only punching the ground. Finally taking a look, he saw his own clothes back on his body, and he sighed with relief.

Yorokobi stood back, watching Jotaro beat up the guy, until she was suddenly right in front of the rest of the group. She patted down her body, then shouted back at Jotaro, “It worked!”

“Yeah, I noticed,” Jotaro said as he rolled his eyes.

The others stood with open mouths, trying to understand what happened. The group exchanged their stories, along with the sad news of Avdol’s death, to catch everyone up.

“I’m just glad that I’m in my own body again,” Jotaro sighed. “Right, Yorokobi?”

“Huh?” Yorokobi snapped out of her thoughts and quietly answered, “Oh, yeah, I’m glad I’m back in my body, too.”

That was a lie. Right now, she was trying to hold in all of the feelings she had. She was sad about Avdol, but she was even more sad about being in her own body again, which only made her feel guilty about what she was sad about. It didn’t even help when Joseph pulled her and Jotaro aside to tell them that Avdol was alive.

Why is this bothering me? She thought to herself. I’ve never hated my body before. Why is this happening now? As the five of them all went to sleep for the night, Yorokobi stayed awake, pondering. In the end, she told herself that it would go away soon, and let her medicine drift her off to sleep.

#nothing else like it #stardust crusaders #oc insert

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freedom-in-the-dark · 4 years ago

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James Flint Is Gay: A Meta Post

[slides into the Black Sails fandom late with Starbucks]

Hey! What’s up! Here’s a post no one asked for but I wrote mostly for me. Before we get into it, I’ve got some big notices to put on the top here.

DISCLAIMER: If you interpret James as bi, and you prefer that, I am not trying to say you can’t do that or to convince you otherwise!

You do you! If you’re not cool with seeing him as gay, please do us both a favor and keep scrolling past this post! I’m mildly aware that this fandom has a history of rough discourse surrounding this topic, but I cannot emphasize enough that I am new here, and this post is not an attack. Please do me the courtesy of not attacking me or blocking me or whatnot because I’m not trying to start drama lol. And for what it’s worth, I myself am bi (well, bi ace), so I’d like to think I’m being objective.

This post exists simply because I like to write meta out with my arguments / evidence lined up in a row; it gets things out of my head and onto a screen, and I find it satisfying. And if I’m doing it anyway, I might as well share.

So if you see James as gay, or have an open mind to that interpretation… please allow me to take you on this adventure under the cut. I’m sure it’s obvious, but this contains spoilers? Lol.

Here we go!

Compulsory Heterosexuality vs “Bi Erasure”

Firstly… to address some stuff I’ve seen in my limited Black Sails fandom travels right out of the gate: I’ve seen people imply that interpreting James as gay is “bi erasure,” or they ask “Why are you erasing that James was attracted to Miranda and had an affair with her?”

But to that I say: it’s far more complicated than that.

Gay people can have sexual relationships with people of the opposite sex, especially until / or before they identify as gay. This is how so many gay people can be married to the opposite sex and have biological kids, and then later realize their truth and come out to themselves and their families. Having those experiences or even some variation of actionable attraction to people of other sexes in the past doesn’t negate their ability to later identify as gay, once they stop burying those parts of themselves and/or experience something that “brings that part of them into the light.”

This is why the phrase compulsory heterosexuality exists. The phrase was originally coined by Adrienne Rich in a 1980 essay titled “Compulsory Heterosexuality and the Lesbian Experience.” So yes, let me make this clear: this term originated in reference to lesbians and feminist theory, and then the idea was later expanded upon to include discussions of gay men by other academics in the early 2000s. I’m not gonna dive too deeply into it here, but in essence–as the name implies–this is the idea that patriarchal and heteronormative societies are viewed as the default, so individuals are assumed (by themselves and otherwise) to be heterosexual until “proven” otherwise. Through these standards that are seen as “normal,” people are also taught from a young age–whether explicitly or subconsciously through society–that anything that deviates from those ~straight norms~ leads to negative consequences. And so, society encourages people to avoid sexual exploration, because having experiences with someone of the same sex is what can often bring their gay identity into focus.

In the case of Black Sails, this is all very much emphasized at the forefront because it’s a historical drama. Aside from racism/slavery, patriarchy and heteronormativity are what the characters are actively going to war against.

So, the point in me defining all of this? No one—or at least, not me—is saying that James didn’t have a sexual relationship with Miranda. That’s not in question. But that doesn’t necessarily make him bi, and it doesn’t mean the narrative isn’t structured in various ways that indicate otherwise.

Just keep this in the back of your brain, because I’m going to circle back around to it.

Anne, Flint, & Gay Rage

In the wise words of an old pirate captain: “Fruit, fruit. Tits, tits.” This show thrives on parallels, and gives us lines / scenes that apply to more than one character; it’s partially why the themes are so consistent, and if you ignore that, you can miss a lot of the nuance. Our resident angry gay gingers are one of the paralleled sets of characters.

This is not a meta about Anne… but talking about parts of Anne’s story can help to highlight some things about James’ story.

I tweeted this once: “Flint and Anne’s sexualities paralleled to show struggles with compulsive heterosexuality, fighting for the sake of fighting, bringing parts of themselves into the light, wrestling with being told they’re monsters and their distorted senses of self, etc.” and really, now I’m just here to elaborate.

-----

The word “monster” is a recurring theme in this show. It’s tied mostly to Flint and how he is told he is monstrous for loving a man, fears being “the villain” or “monster” in everyone’s stories, and eventually embraces that monstrous portrayal in service of his goals–even as the violence is slowly devastating to him. But the other character the word “monster” is used in reference to? Anne.

A quote by Max:

“Idelle, how would you feel if the one man you thought would never betray you did? If he purchased for himself a future through that betrayal? If you were told by a world full of men that that betrayal confirmed for them that they were right to see you as a monster to be shunned? She's not mad. She is adrift.”

In some ways, this quote is also the story of what has happened to James in his life, over and over. (Not to say this is what Jack intended to do to Anne, but the parallels inherent in Max’s line itself cannot be denied.)

James is repeatedly betrayed by those he trusts: Admiral Hennessey; Peter Ashe; Hal Gates. All of them try to get him to conform to heteronormative society–including Gates, because even if he didn’t know it, that’s what he was doing by trying to get James to take a pardon. That’s why James reacts with such instinctual panic and kills him; the idea of being forced to apologize to and assimilate back into heteronormative society puts him at a breaking point. (It can even be argued that Miranda “betrays” James in this way too by trying to get him to take a pardon and go to Boston–which is where his “and they called me a monster” speech comes in–and that also contributed to how James later panics and kills Gates for trying to force him to do the same. Miranda tried in a well-meaning way to get James to move on, because she isn’t fully understanding what James wrestles with; but I’ll go back to that.)

Again, these parallels are deliberate. Anne and Flint are the two main gay characters who wrestle with their supposed “monstrosity” in the eyes of everyone else, because they don’t fit in. They are “othered.” It’s not simply about their violence; for these characters, it’s about what their violence is in service of achieving, which is tied to their sexuality.

Anne is seen as a “monster” for slaughtering the men who abused Max, who is not only a fellow woman but also a fellow lesbian, in a way that Anne is undeniably drawn to even before she lets herself acknowledge the feeling. We as viewers are meant to see this and understand this, and we do. Anne is ostracized for violence that was motivated by her sexuality, which is partially why Max tells her that she understands her violence and will protect her–because Max is not only also a woman in a patriarchal society, but she is gay too.

Flint is seen as a “monster” first and foremost by England, for his sexuality… and then, later, by everyone else for the actions he takes because of his sexuality. Again: the violence he commits cannot be divorced from his sexuality because it is the reason for it. It’s what informs it.

I tweeted about this once too, but in many ways Anne and Flint’s kindred displays of brutality and anger and “fighting for the sake of fighting” (a quote by Miranda which applies to them both) are informed by their desire/need for gay tenderness. The world has too often denied them that tenderness and their expressions of their sexualities, or demonized them for wanting it, and their violence is the result.

Here’s a quote from Deborah Tolman with regards to how compulsory heterosexuality affects men, which she calls “hegemonic masculinity”:

"These norms demand that men deny most emotions, save for anger; be hard at all times and in all ways; engage in objectification of women and sex itself; and participate in the continuum of violence against women."

The anger and hardness is a huge part of the personas both Flint and Anne have to put on for survival. I include Anne in this because she uniquely lives her life in a “male” role to survive the male-dominated world of piracy, and she’s clearly not immune from these unspoken masculine guidelines: she refers to Max as “the whore” half the time as a defense mechanism. Flint and Anne lash out, they’re hard and angry and violent for the sake of their personas, and it’s all because... inside, they just want to be soft and gay with who they love.

Anne, Flint, & Compulsory Heterosexuality (Not Bi Erasure)

In Black Sails, we are shown the story of a gay person who has a consistent sexual relationship with someone of the opposite sex, but is running from internal truths about themselves in some ways in the process. That person is Anne.

Struggling with compulsory heterosexuality is explicitly Anne Bonny’s prime storyline in the show and that is not up for debate (and I’ve rarely seen people disagree); but I argue that it is also part of James’ storyline, and he is paralleled significantly with Anne to make that clear. It’s just overall more subtle because it’s not the prime focus of James’ story the way it is for Anne, because James’ realizations happened largely in the past and we’re seeing the aftermath of it. The parallels are there, and I’ll be breaking some of them down.

----

From episode one, we are told that Anne has a sexual relationship with Jack…. But later on, she tells Jack that she “can’t be [his] wife,” even though they’ll be partners forever. Why? What changed? The answer is that she’s been with Max and realized that she’s gay. It doesn’t mean Anne didn’t have sex with a man in the past and even enjoy it on some level, but it does mean that she knows now that she was using that sex partially to distract from things about herself that she was doing her best to ignore.

Multiple lines by Max (to Anne) tell us this:

3x03: “When you and I began you did not choose me. Something that lives inside you beyond choice made it so.”

2x01: “But perhaps there is something else underlying it. Something hiding in a place not even you can see. Perhaps… we would do well to bring it into the light.”

Before I continue, let me remind you of something: when writers decide to show viewers something on screen, that is done with intent, especially in a show like Black Sails where not a single moment is wasted. Remember this. What they show us, and what they don’t show us, are both deliberate choices.

So what are we shown about Anne’s sexual relationship with Jack? We get exactly one scene of her having sex with him. We are shown Anne riding Jack in a way where neither party was particularly enthused. Does this mean they definitely never had sex in the past that they both enjoyed on some level? No. But they showed us this one scene on purpose: to emphasize the stark difference when Anne has enjoyable sex with Max, an experience that forever changes her.

So what are we shown about James’ sexual relationship with Miranda? We get exactly one scene of him having sex with her. It is the most depressing sex scene of all time, James is just lying there to try to be helpful for her to chase her own pleasure, and he doesn’t even touch her. Does this mean they never had sex in the past that they both enjoyed, especially back during their affair in London? No. But we are never shown any of that. We never see them have sex in London before James’ relationship with Thomas; we never see them having good sex with each other after it all goes to hell. And that is a deliberate choice.

Why? Because all of the above info about Anne and her compulsory heterosexuality journey also applies to James McGraw, and his relationships with Miranda and Thomas.

“They paint the world full of shadows... and then tell their children to stay close to the light. Their light. Their reasons, their judgments. Because in the darkness, there be dragons. But it isn't true. We can prove that it isn't true. In the dark, there is discovery, there is possibility, there is freedom in the dark once someone has illuminated it.”

The realizations James came to about his sexuality (just like Anne did) inform much of his tangled story with the Hamiltons, and much of the tragedy of Miranda and James’ situation after the loss of Thomas. We are shown the way James and Miranda are no longer perfectly aligned after that loss, and grief is undeniably a part of it… but it goes beyond that. It’s more complicated than that.

That sad sex scene is not solely about grief; remember, that scene takes place ten years after they lose Thomas. It takes place during a time where Miranda is already thinking about and will soon actively try to tell James that they need to move on, without understanding why the loss of Thomas affects him in a profoundly different way than it affects her. I am not minimizing her loss or her grief whatsoever; but it is undeniably more complicated for James, and it’s why he can’t move on.

In episode 1x07:

James: “Have you no memory of how we got here? What they took from us?”

Miranda: “What does it matter now? What does it matter? What does it matter what happened then if we have no life now?”

James is, of course, appalled by this. I’ll talk about why momentarily.

The next time James is in Nassau (2x03), he goes to see Miranda and tries to apologize that night, but she’s otherwise engaged. So he stands outside of her window looking in, surrounded by darkness, while she’s playing the clavichord with children in the light. It is symbolically the domestic version of a heterosexual ideal. He is “othered” by the camera angles / framing, and the dark / light aspects. James is relegated to being an outsider literally because as Flint he’s a pirate, but metaphorically because he’s gay; the reason we as viewers are given that scene is to underscore that he feels he has no place in that display.

Ultimately, James is misaligned with Miranda after the loss of Thomas (shown in both the sad sex scene and arguments) in a way that goes beyond grief. The implication is that things cannot ever be the same for him again since the loss of “his truest love” and the truths he learned about himself.

If James and Miranda were simply at odds with one another because of grief, it would be far less of a “tragedy” in some ways. But James cannot heal the way Miranda slowly finds the way to over ten years, because Thomas signifies things for James that Miranda cannot relate to. In London, when Thomas is taken from them, Miranda even yells to James, “He is my husband!” Her grief and rage are shown as equal to James at the start and have extreme validity; the two of them are partners in the plan to kill Alfred Hamilton for revenge; but then she is able to somewhat move on, whereas James is not.

Why? Because, for James, Thomas was not just his (truest) love; Thomas was the awakening of his fullest self as a gay man.

In the same way that Anne can’t be Jack’s “wife” after she’s been with Max and realizes she’s gay, James cannot content himself with fulfilling the role of Miranda’s “husband” after he’s been with Thomas and realizes he’s gay. Neither of these facts minimize Anne’s love and devotion to Jack, or James’ love and devotion to Miranda; they are undeniably two sets of partners. But Anne and James are forever altered by their experiences with same sex lovers, and the truths about themselves that were brought into the light as a result.

----

Another part of the tragedy of James and Miranda is what happens right when we see Miranda grasp the significance of all of the above. Whether or not she grasped it before in the past, we are shown it only once on screen, and that’s in Charlestown.

Peter Ashe says this in 2x09:

“You will tell them about the affair with Thomas. You will tell them how it ended. You will explain to them what it drove you to do. You will reveal everything. And when you do, Captain Flint will be unmasked, the monster slain. And in his place will stand before all the world a flawed man, a man that England can relate to and offer its forgiveness.”

This is James’ worst nightmare; we know as such from what he told Miranda back in 1x07, and from when he killed Gates. And yet, here and now in 2x09, he is exhausted from pushing back against heteronormative society, all he wants is to retire the mantle of Flint born of gay rage, and he actually contemplates playing by their rules and giving into their judgements of his sexuality... until Miranda comes to his defense.

In season 1, Miranda didn’t seem to fully understand James’ thoughts on this, but here–in combination with her realizations about Peter Ashe’s betrayals–she finally does. And she’s not having it.

“What forgiveness are you entitled to while you stand back in the shadows pushing James out in front of the world to be laid bear for the sake of the truth? Tell me, sir, when does the truth about your sins come to light?”

And the moment she is yelling in rage on behalf of James, and their combined loss, and how Peter would dare to force James to experience shame about his sexuality again–she is instantly shot for it. A woman who’s yelling on behalf of a gay man? In a patriarchal heteronormative society? It has no place. England makes that clear.

It all further underlines James’ sense of “otherness”... and now he decides to embrace it, even at his own emotional detriment. He will no longer try to fit in or reason with them; he will no longer accept their halfway measures of pardons. He can’t, because in the eyes of England, all that he is as a gay man is abhorrent.

2x10: “Everyone is a monster to someone. Since you are so convinced that I am yours, I will be it.”

3x05, to the Maroon Queen: “...England takes whatever, whenever, however it wants. Lives. Loves. Labor. Spirits. Homes. It has taken them from me. I imagine that it has taken it from you.”

The Way James Views Miranda

And here is where I simply give you more food for thought–or further “evidence” of James being gay, if you will.

All of Flint’s lines about how he views Miranda are worded very, very deliberately.

Here’s a minor one, from 1x05:

“So you can probably guess it isn't as much fun to tell stories about how your captain makes a home with a nice Puritan woman who shares his love of books.”

There is nothing overtly romantic or sexual about this. It’s said in a one-on-one conversation with Billy, where Flint neither has to make the relationship sound like something it isn’t nor refuse to give any info whatsoever. So he goes with what is the seemingly-mild truth.

But 3x01, convincing the men to forego pardons:

“But what price surrender? To beg forgiveness from a thing that took my woman from me? My friend?”

“My woman” is what Flint says for the benefit of the men… these men who are part of the heteronormative world they all live in, and still value sexual relationships with women above all else. It’s about hegemonic masculinity, remember? (“Objectification of women and sex itself.”) He’s doing his best to speak their language.

But “my friend” is a secondary line that was not needed for the purposes of this speech, but James could not keep himself from adding it in a quieter tone–because that’s who Miranda was to him. His friend. Not his woman, which drips sexism and sexual undertones. Not his wife. Not even his “love,” which he could’ve used if he wanted to be ambiguous and sneak a Thomas reference in; he said “my woman” to appeal to the men, and then he added “my friend” because in the face of her memory he couldn’t help it.

And lastly, in 3x03, we begin to hear from “ghost Miranda.”

But what is ghost Miranda? She’s a voice from James’ traumatized mind. Everything she says to him is about truths he already knows and/or things he is hiding from himself. So what “she” says here is a voice from James’ mind; it’s about how James sees her, and subtly elaborates on his sexuality in the process.

“When I first met you, you were so... Unformed. And then I spoke and bade you cast aside your shame, and Captain Flint was born into the world... the part of you that always existed yet never were you willing to allow into the light of day. I was mistress to you when you needed love. I was wife to you when you needed understanding. But first and before all... I was mother. I have known you like no other. So I love you like no other. I will guide you through it, but at its end is where you must leave me. At its end is where you will find the peace that eludes you, and at its end lies the answer you refuse to see.”

This does not diminish Miranda’s importance to James in the least! In fact, it emphasizes it, and it is all part of why he is so ruined over her! But it is also, in the oddest way, an elaboration upon how he isn’t bi: Miranda was his partner in many things, including shared grief and revenge and some semblance of life for ten long years; and she was also was instrumental to his formation of himself as a person (“mother”), and his acceptance of himself as a gay man (“love” and “understanding”). This is how he sees her. Mistress and wife were roles she filled in his life, but above all, she contributed to the birth of Captain Flint–the personification of James’ gay rage.

Of course, the “answer” that ghost Miranda (the depths of James’ brain) alludes to here as well as her later words of “you are not alone” are all about James needing to recognize that Silver is a newfound partner and love for him… but that’s a whole other meta entirely.

Closing Thoughts

Look, did I consult a couple of specific scenes and look up transcripts to put quotes in this? Yes. But have I still only seen the show in its entirety once? Also yes. My point in mentioning this is that, if I did a full rewatch, there might even be more evidence I haven’t mentioned here. This isn’t meant to be comprehensive, but I do feel that it... certainly conveys the gist of the mood.

You may still agree to disagree if you prefer to see James Flint as bi; I’m not here to fight you on it and what queer characters mean to you personally.

But for me, when surveying all available evidence, the narrative screams that he’s gay. In that sense, my thoughts on this matter are similar to my thoughts on the ending; sure, you can interpret it one way if you look at certain details, but if you take in all the evidence and the big picture as a whole… there’s a specific conclusion to be drawn.

Last thing I’ll say is this: Steinberg himself has said that Flint is gay, which I found out way after watching the show and forming this interpretation. And like... not that if I wanted to hardcore argue he was bi I wouldn’t disregard Steinberg’s words, because in my experience the narrative speaking for itself is always more important than than creators’ words, but... in this instance (as in all Black Sails instances I’ve come across), his words just underscore what the well-crafted narrative is already telling us, because the creators wrote this show with intent. They knew what they were doing.

And thus, I will quote him (from these GIFs) below.

“When we were trying to build the story, we wanted whatever this thing was that made [Flint] feel alienated to be so deeply tied into who he was that there was no way he was every going to dismiss this thing that happened to him. We wanted to make sure we understood what the reality was in England in terms of how homosexuality was perceived. In some ways it was more tolerated, in some ways it was significantly less tolerated. I think in terms of Flint being gay, it’s about the fact that it is a tool that is used politically when convenient to make somebody be a monster… and it isn’t even really about the relationship.”

(If you buy the series on iTunes, you get an “inside” look at every episode, including this one from 2x05.)

EDIT: I had no idea Toby Stephens basically confirmed my thoughts that James' relationship with Thomas was his actualization as a gay man, so excuse me as I lose my mind for a moment:

“I think his relationship to Thomas Hamilton, the initial friendship and then becoming lovers is sort of like the realization of himself. I think he became himself with Thomas Hamilton. His potential was unleashed with Hamilton.”

And just for fun, since I’m here anyway, here’s a piece of a Steinberg quote about Anne from the Fathoms Deep podcast.

“In terms of Rackham and Bonny, I think that was another thing that I assumed for a long time could never go away. That they were essentially, you know, that they were married. You know not legally, but they were functionally married. And then this story happened in Season 2 with Bonny, that I think with like with a gun to my head of things that I’m proud of with the show, probably at the top is this story of this woman coming out and understanding that she’s gay. . . And so when we got to a point where it was like, I think she’s gay? Like I don’t think this is something we want to be wishy-washy about. It required getting over that hump with Rackham of, ‘Well like what am I going to do with this relationship? I don’t want to split them up?’ And I think it became something way more interesting.”

Thanks for coming to my TED talk. I love James Flint and his gay rage, I love you if you read all of this, and I love my friend @sunbardy who dealt with me yelling about this in DMs and then proofread the doc.

Hit me up on Twitter @gaypiracy if you want, where I do most of my Black Sails related yelling. And shitposting. Because I contain multitudes.

Know No Shame, my friends.

#black sails #james flint #know no shame #flinthamilton #captain flint #anne bonny #meta #black sails meta #miranda hamilton #jackanne #maxanne #legit have no idea what else to tag #my meta

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loopy777 · 4 years ago

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RE: WIPs game: do I even want to know what Dicebenders is is it another scam how many times are the Gaang gonna get arrested for scamming

No, this time it's me scamming people. XD The dice in question are the RPG Dungeons & Dragons kind.

For a while I was doing a screencap webcomic in the style of "DM of the Rings" and "Darths & Droids" with another creative fan named Captain Boomerang. I was the scriptwriter and selected the screenshots for each panel, and Capt-BA would assemble the comics and improve my scripts (a process that did frustrate me a little, as I felt locked out of the revision process, but I did like the results. I just felt like I wasn't holding up my end of the partnership a bit). I wrote a story bible explaining the characters and storytelling rules, planned out the adaptation of the entire AtLA premiere, and had less detailed plans for the rest of the series, but we only got 6 comics in before Capt-BA went on a trip and never returned to the internet. I did manage to re-establish contact with her long enough to get permission to continue the comic, but the problem is that I have no image-editing skills whatsoever.

If I could find comic-making software that I know would do what I want and be easy to use, I wouldn't mind dropping some money on it, but everything I've looked at is trying to do lots of things I don't need. I only want a way to import existing pictures into comic grids, and then easily add dialogue bubbles. That's it. But the stuff I've found is more about image-editing than comic assembly, and it takes me an hour to put together a dialogue bubble that looks good. So I have 3 scripts that were never produced, which along with the planning docs are what's in that WIP folder, and I don't ever see myself going beyond that.

Besides, someone else already managed to complete something like this, and while I'm not a fan, I don't need to be. At this point, Dicebenders is dead. I'm glad I tried it, and it's a shame it didn't work out, but I'm happy with the other projects I've done instead.

I am squatting on an empty Tumblr for it, though.

Anyway, to share something new, here's the first section of the Story Bible I wrote to make sure Capt-BA and I were on the same page in terms of characterization. The rest of the bible details the plotlines for full series.

AVATAR: THE LAST DICEBENDER

BIBLE

Premise- A small group of players attempt to run a fantasy martial arts RPG that winds up essentially becoming the Avatar saga, or something very close. The main point of the series is comedy, based mostly on ridiculous links between Avatar and RPG's. Sometimes the humor will be in the vast difference between what happens in the comic, and what happens in the cartoon with the same screenshots. Other times, the funny will come from the unexpected ways they converge.

SPIRITUAL PREDECESSORS

DM of the Rings- The original, and my personal favorite. It's a good showcase of how to run a single quest together, while using narrative jumps to skip to the good bits.

Darths & Droids- A similar project, this stands out from its predecessor in two main ways. The players and GM are more friendly with each other, and are more or less having fun with each other. There is also a running, coherent storyline in both the game and in the lives of the players.

Benders & Brawlers- This is actually an existing attempt to do Darths & Droids with Avatar. This is helpful as an example of what we DON'T want to do, retell the Avatar story in a completely straightforward manner, with RPG players behind the characters.

CHARACTERS

None of the characters will be given real names. The players shall always be referred to by their character names, although this can be done in a teasing, ironic manner. When the characters are speaking, their dialogue bubble must always be attached to an image of the character.

The Gamemaster- The GM is a female in her early teens. She is a geek, and a bit of a social outcast for it. Nevertheless, she's trying to make that work for her, although she's not quite mature enough to make it happen yet. She has just discovered RPG's, and in her enthusiasm has gone all out in starting her own campaign. The only problem is that she doesn't know how to recruit players, so she ropes her best friend and little brother into playing with her. This is the GM's first campaign, so she'll a little in over her head. She knows the mechanics of play, and what she's supposed to be doing as GM, but doesn't have the fine skill in crafting an engaging RPG experience. Still, she wants to do her best, is willing to learn, and has a positive attitude about the whole thing. The GM has a strong crush on the Sokka player, but the only way she can express it is by having all the female NPC's flirt with the Sokka character.

Katara- Female in early teens, and the GM's best friend. Katara's player was friends with the GM from when they were both in grammar school, so while they have grown up into wildly different personality types, they are fully loyal to each other. Katara is popular, and outgoing, and doesn't care or know about geek stuff at all. She's only playing the game because the GM begged her to. At first, Katara is clueless about RPG's, and frequently questions or ridicules the mechanics of the game. She never quite gets into the idea of role-playing, but quickly takes to the idea of meta-gaming. She'll have her character act like a righteous do-gooder, because completing missions and fighting bad guys earns XP. She hoards items that will boost her stats. She'll advocate abandoning a mission/plot if it doesn't pay out enough rewards. Katara's player also can tend towards trying to Mary Sue her character, but this is inconsistent and usually shot down by everyone else.

Aang- Male in junior high, and the GM's little brother. He plays simply because his sister has cajoled him into it, and there are hints that he's getting some kind of reward or payment for it. He abuses his position by forcing the GM to give him what he wants in the game, even if it breaks the rules- access to the restricted Airbender class, the ability to bend all four elements, overloaded stats, an Avatar State that protects him from dying, a magic super flying cow ride, etc. However, it's important to note that Aang's player isn't a jerk. He's just immature, and like all kids, just always goes for what he wants via the easiest path, and doesn't realize that he may be causing trouble or hurting feelings. He's enthusiastic about trying out this RPG thing, but he has trouble coming up with any action beyond attacking or retreating. He's also hyper aware that the GM and Katara are girls. He is too old for cootie concerns, but thinks that girls are fundamentally different creatures with their own incomprehensible concerns. Having a big sister, he doesn't find this a big deal, just part of life. Aang's player is too young to be a geek. He likes cartoons and sports and fantasy and school-dramas. He also tends to follow whatever his sister likes.

Sokka- Male in late teens. This guy is your quintessential RPG player. He has is own top-quality dice, he's played campaigns and systems of all kinds, and knows the tropes of the hobby cold. He's a huge geek for all things geeky, but roleplay is easily his favorite. He's a social outcast, but he's made friends among his fellow geeks, and thinks life is just fine. Sokka's player joins when he meets the GM at the comic/games shop they both frequent. The GM was buying some sourcebooks and material to support the fantasy martial arts game she's running, and Sokka noticed, asked about it, liked what he heard, and got permission to join the game. What Sokka doesn't realize, because he is a geek and neither has experience with it or realizes it's even possible, is that the GM is sweet on him. This manifests in the character Sokka's canon luck with the ladies, only kicked up a notch. *Every single* female NPC flirts with him, whether it's appropriate or not. Sometimes player Sokka notices and tries to roleplay it, and sometimes he's just plain confused. Sokka has a few quirks. His best set of dice are his Lucky Red Dice, which always roll high when he needs it, but have been tested and proven to be fair dice. He also mandates that every character he plays use a boomerang; he was turned into a geek by the first video game he ever played, a Legend of Zelda title, and his favorite weapon from those games are the boomerang. Each of his characters has a unique, named boomerang.

Zuko- The GM's favorite NPC. She created him to be a compelling, dramatic character, with a complicated back story, moral struggles, badass loner personality, angst about his existence, a darkly noble quality, and a cool scar. The GM intended Katara to get to know Zuko, for her to try to woo him away from the side of evil, and perhaps to even have a romance with him. The PC's, however, couldn't care less about him. To them, he's just another mini-boss, and the fact that most of his character development is happening "off screen" means they don't realize that he's recruitable. A frequent gag is Zuko delivering a stirring monologue while no one pays attention.

Iroh- Background NPC. The GM tries to use him to give (ignored) hints to the players.

Toph- (tentative) A male munchkin gamer who picked a long list of weaknesses in order to get superbending. Toph's player is a friend of Sokka's player, brought in after an "incident" with his old group, and causes some initial resentment in the group when tries to show the n00bs how its done. Cowing Toph's player is a major victory for the GM.

Momo- NPC, but maybe make him a talking sidekick who gives the players hints when the GM is really exasperated?

Azula- the GM's best favorite villain. Azula is the GM unleashed, letting her take out frustrations on the players in both combat and harsh taunting. Eventually the GM comes to like the character so much, she retcons mental health issues into the character's backstory, and has her pet NPC, Zuko, spare her.

#dicbender #avatarpg

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