#i’ve not written lyrics in months this is a miracle

[ahappyphjl]

just wrote a new song and without thinking added the line busy being happy lol whenever i release this i hope at least one person is like oh dnp reference

[singlesablog]

Bona Drag ‘89

“Getting Away With It” (1989) Electronic Factory (UK) / Warner Records (US) (Written by Sumner/Marr/Tennant) Highest U.S. Billboard Chart Position – No. 38

When Pet Shop Boys first approached (coaxed, begged?) Dusty Springfield near the end of her career to duet with Neil Tennant on the 1987 single “What Have I Done to Deserve This?”, few of us could have known that this would lead to a great many more collaborations from the boys, or how fruitful this instinct would become.  It was also in that same year that they both (mainly Neil) collaborated with a group newly named Electronic, which would be comprised of the lead singer of New Order, Bernard Sumner, and Johnny Marr, the ex-lead guitarist and songwriter for The Smiths. “Getting Away With It” was a huge moment in my circle that year (as well as on the dance floor) for it’s sound combined the coolness of the alternative scene with disco, even though no one ever wants to say that very bad word. 

We all adored it.

The Smiths had disbanded in 1987, leaving Johnny Marr as a journeyman (never being the lead type).  We all loved The Smiths passionately because they were in part “our" band, and spoke to gay culture, and because, yes, Morrissey was a genius. We all hated him for ending it all too soon, because yes, it was all his fault.  His narcissism was not hard to apprehend, in content or image.  Johnny Marr's pairing up with Sumner was something of a miracle because both were surprisingly interested in house music, specifically an emerging genre known as Italo House, which leaned more toward Europe and upbeat electronic piano riffs.  They worked on the single first, along with an early cut called “Lucky Bag” (seek it out it is a jam) in the pure Italo House style, and went on tour to support Depeche Mode that year.  They ultimately spent 18 months finishing the debut album Electronic, which a lot of folks consider to be a minor classic.  Neil appeared on yet another track (“The Patience of a Saint”), and we were all in disco heaven—it was just so cool.

I am now surprised to discover that the secret behind “Getting Away” may the be sly and hateful jabs toward The Moz himself, who famously disdained anyone who ever ate meat, or any style of music he did not personally direct.  He is on record for dismissing electronic music in general as useless, so the jabs at his persona in the lyrics (“I’ve been walking in the rain / just to get wet on purpose”) are penchant, and just what he had coming.  It was only the year before that Morrissey had released a track called “Hairdresser on Fire” (as the B side to the A single “Suedehead”), one of his more famous B sides, which include the lyrics 

“Here is London Home of the brash, outrageous and free You are repressed But you're remarkably dressed Is it real?”

to which (apparently) the boys from Electronic responded in verse

“I've been talking to myself Just to suggest that I'm selfish (Getting ahead) I've been trying to impress That more is less and I'm repressed (I should do what he said)”

Which may be nothing, or may be pointed.  It is on record that Morrissey criticized the song in a 1991 interview, calling it "totally useless" and joking that the song had a "very apt title”.  

It is certain that both Marr and Sumner were looking to explore new freedoms and territories outside of the straight jacket of rock and roll.  It is especially ironic that Morrissey, one of the patron saints of gay identity, would be so narrow and humorless about pop music in general.  Then again, maybe not; I love him, but a kinkier curmudgeon would be hard to locate.  It has been suggested that Neil Tennant continued the lampooning of Morrissey with the B side to the single for “Was it Worth It?” (which flopped), “Miserablism” (which is iconic in their catalog), and paints the picture of a person using inversion as a religion:

“Every performance tends to reach the same conclusion No happy endings but a message to depress Saying life is an impossible scheme That's the point Of this philosophy

Miserablism Is is and isn't isn’t

Miserablism Is is and isn’t isn’t."

Electronic’s last album (of 3 total) was released in 1999.  They have never formally disbanded, but are likely done with the project.  Morrissey is still making records and slagging people off to this day.  There are no plans to reunite any version of The Smiths.

---

The collaborations with icons of gay culture would certainly continue for the Pet Shop Boys.  In 1992 they had their biggest success outside of their band by producing Boy George’s cover of “The Crying Game”, the title track for the movie of the same name.  It was a success worldwide, a Billboard No. 15 in the US (Boy George’s highest ever here as a solo act), as well as a dreamy synth pop gem.  Neil Tennant told NME in 1993, "I think George sings that song really well, he sounds a bit like Roy Orbison” which is rather true, a credit to the production and vocal alike. Charles Aaron from Spin said, “Heard it in a mall, wanted to weep in my Orange Julius.” to which I would say, didn’t we all Charles, didn’t we all.

"The Crying Game" by Boy George, 1992

The song title “Getting Away With It” is suggestive of many things.  As a member of the band The Smiths, Morrissey and the band adopted an anti-look look, very industrial city clothes, even presenting as nondescript.  But Morrissey had a way of inverting this idea, sporting a giant pompadour, thick NHS black glasses, an inoperative plastic hearing aid during performances, and receiving gladiolus flowers on stage from fans.  His was not an undramatic pose, and actually part of the long tradition of the gay man presenting as a fop.  

A fop from "What is this my Son Tom?", 1774

In England alone there was the “macaroni” of the Georgian period, followed by the Beau Brummell of the Regency period, and then the Aesthete, which culminated in the late 19th century with the writers Walter Pater and Oscar Wilde.  For the opening in 1892 of  his play“Lady Windermere’s Fan”, Oscar sported an unnatural green carnation as a publicity stunt (it actually signified nothing).  However nothing can easily become something.  The green carnation went on to become a craze for aesthetes, a tip off for the presence of homosex, and finally aided in Oscar’s undoing when an 1894 novel by the name of The Green Carnation by Robert Hitchens was used as evidence in Wilde’s sodomy trial to send him to Reading Gaol prison for 2 years, even though Oscar personally had nothing whatsoever to do with it’s publication or content.  He went on to comment 

"I invented that magnificent flower, but with the middle-class and mediocre book that usurps its strangely beautiful name I have, I need hardly say, nothing whatsoever to do. The flower is a work of art. The book is not.”

Oscar Wilde died only a few years after his imprisonment in 1900 at the young age of 46.  

His crime: high style.

Oscar Wilde, pictured with a green carnation.

[letters-from-dekarios]

the tortured poets department (gale’s version)

tracks one through five

summary: an analyzation of TTPD with comparisons to gale dekarios’ story and life. some generalized things are part of the version of gale i’ve made in my mind that makes sense for his character to me.

or: me rambling about the TTPD songs and how each lyric relates to gale dekarios.

word count: 3.8k

tags: taylor swift is mothering with this new album, gale dekarios, i am mystra’s hateclub ceo, most of these songs are about their breakup sorry if i reiterate things a million times, MENTIONS OF S/H & SUICIDE. DO NOT READ IF THESE THINGS TRIGGER YOU.

author’s note: this multi-part series is going to be written in a much more casual style than my traditional fanfics. if you notice me rambling or screaming for like three sentences straight, don't be alarmed, I did spell check everything!

First and foremost, I absolutely LOVE this album. Artistically and lyrically, this is one of Taylor’s most sophisticated albums. It’s a story not really about boys or love or anything (not in the same way that other albums/songs have been, at least. take ‘love story’ or ‘enchanted’ for example), but instead is about her. Yes, her songs have technically always been about her. But this album has such a different ring to it. It’s about her and her feelings and about telling her story to the world, no matter if it makes people upset. This album is so unapologetically Taylor Swift that it is simply just… beautiful. I love this album SO much.

Now… let’s get into it!

fortnight;

I see this song both from the perspective of Gale and that of Mystra thinking of Gale.

“I was a functioning alcoholic till nobody noticed my new aesthetic”

makes me think of Gale hiding in his tower for a whole Year after receiving the orb. He and Mystra’s relationship wasn’t the longest either had ever had, but the breaking it off still hurt more than anything he’d ever experienced.

“All of this to say I hope you're okay/But you're the reason/And no one here's to blame/But what about your quiet treason?”

THIS IS SO. Gale knows that he’s, he was at fault for some of it too. But her treason against him (leaving him to die) goes overlooked by SO many. Even Gale overlooks her misdemeanors because he feels like he is ALSO at fault, and STILL wishes her the best despite it all.

“And for a fortnight there, we were forever/Run into you sometimes, ask about the weather/Now you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors/Your wife waters flowers, I wanna kill her”

Metaphorically, they were together for a “fortnight”. They weren’t together for a Long time romantically, so their relationship wasn’t a long one. But now every time he uses the Weave or connects with her it’s like everything has changed and he has to play nice for fear of losing whatever friendship they had. And I’m sure some part of Gale is angry at Elminster for still being her Chosen and still having her affection (‘your wife waters flowers’).

“All my mornings are Mondays stuck in an endless February/I took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary”

Even though February is the shortest month, I personally interpret the analogy like ‘this was short, but it feels longer’ and with ‘all my mornings are Mondays’ it’s like starting over time and time again but always ending up at the start. With Gale, even though their time together was futile, he’s still stuck on it. No matter how hard he tries, the effects of Mystra’s romantic loss on him is Hard. His mind always wraps back around to it.

“I love you, it’s ruining my life”

Gale still talked about Mystra and was willing to give up his life for her. He would’ve done Anything for her.

“Thought of calling you, but you won’t pick up”

Gale still tries to reach out to her even though he Knows she won’t listen to him. Even though he Knows she wants nothing to do with him right now, he still tries to reach her.

“Move to Florida, buy the car you want/buy it won’t start till I touch, touch, touch you”

He can move on and try to escape it all but no matter what he does, Mystra is Always There. She always will be. Because without her and her power, he has nothing. And it messes with him Terribly.

the tortured poets department;

“You’re in self-sabatoge mode, throwing spikes down on the road”

Mystra KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING. How could she not?? How could she not know the magic he was using and not see what he was trying to do for her? He was destroying their relationship long before the tome and she had the Audacity to not say anything about it.

However, on Gale’s end, “But I've seen this episode and still loved the show”

LITERALLY KARSUS�� FOLLY. Gale was so aware of what Karsus had done and knew of his mistakes and sought to not be like him… yet he did something similar because he thought that the rest of the ‘show’ or relationship in this case could be different and wouldn’t affect the rest of it.

BUT, then, “And who's gonna hold you like me?/And who's gonna know you, if not me?”

Mystra knows he can try to move on, but she will always be there at the forefront of his mind. He can attempt to escape, but she is Always There.

“"You're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patti Smith/This ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we'rе modern idiots"”

I take this lyric as something Mystra says in a way to Gale. Kind of how she tells him to “be contented” (yes I reference this line a lot). Mystra tries to tell him that their love is not the grandest and not legendary. It is going to end. While she doesn’t refer to herself as an idiot, I feel the line can be taken as she sees the love itself as idiotic. She’s had so many lovers that this with Gale is just.. pointless, in a sense? She never had any intention of furthering his magic any more than it had been, so his idea with her is stupid.

“But you awaken with dread, pounding nails in your head/But I’ve read this one before, where you come undone”

She’s had So Many Chosen and even had someone try and literally usurp her power before. She knew what she was doing with him, even if Gale had no clue what was going to happen.

“Sometimes, I wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me/But you told Lucy you'd kill yourself if I ever leave/And I had said that to Jack about you, so I felt seen/Everyone we know understands why it's meant to be”

GALE IS INSECURE. MYSTRA TELLS HIM TO BE CONTENT AND HE TRIES TO!!!! He really Really tries to but cannot bring himself to. People who still just see him as her Chosen find little to no issue because they think he’s this great, grand, all-powerful wizard so it makes Sense.

“At dinner, you take my ring off my middle finger/And put it on the one people put wedding rings on/And that's the closest I've come to my heart exploding”

MYSTRA. She tells him to be contented even when he’s begging for more and wants to know her more intimately and instead of squashing the idea he had of becoming something greater with her, she just lets him SIT WITH THE IDEA. KNOWING FULL WELL WHAT HE WOULD'VE DONE AND WHAT HE WANTED TO DO. This song is so Mystra saying that Gale will never find anything greater than her and Gale’s heartbreak and realization over that fact.

my boy only breaks his favorite toys;

“Oh, here we go again/The voices in his head/Called the rain to end our days of wild”

I take this as Mystra seeing Gale and knowing that she was going to start something with him. After all, she had to know of his magic usage even as a small child up until she was back and fully alive again. In my headcanons/ideas she was appearing to him perhaps not with full strength but still showing herself even when he was 16/17. She also would’ve known the ideas in his head of growing more powerful and trying to love her with every part of himself.

“The sickest army doll/Purchased at the mall/Rivulets descend my plastic smile”

Mystra chose him much like one chooses a doll they purchase. She used him and abused him, and forced him to carry his fake plastic smile even when he had tears streaming down his face when she left him.

“But you should’ve seen him when he first got me”

GALES UTTER HAPPINESS OVER BEING CHOSEN BY MYSTRA? He had been practicing since he was a child. Mystra was his absolute everything!!

“My boy only breaks his favorite toys, toys, oh/I'm queen of sand castles he destroys, oh, oh”

AHHH. No matter how hard Gale could’ve and was trying, he crumbled the relationship in his hands. He didn’t mean to, but it happened regardless. Also, ‘queen of sandcastles he destroys’ THINKING that he was standing on stable ground with Mystra, before realizing that it was easy to ruin and never stable to begin with. At the same time, though, Mystra thinking that she had Gale exactly where she wanted him and then realizing that he was going down a path she wouldn’t support. But instead of helping him rebuild she just let him sit with his destruction.

“There was a litany of reasons why/We could've playеd for keeps this time”

both with Mystra and Gale, either of them could’ve fought to maintain the relationship. But Gale was the only one who actually… did.

“I know I'm just repeating mysеlf/Put me back on my shelf/But first, pull the string/And I'll tell you that he runs/Because he loves me (He loves me)”

Gale constantly says the same thing over and over about Mystra and their relationship. He has hope! But he knows she’s going to ‘put [him] back on [her] shelf’ and no longer play with him. She/Tav pulls his string (like Woody/Jessie, pulling their string makes them say their pre-recorded phrases) and he just repeats the idea that he can gain her forgiveness again and that she can love him again. I also relate the ‘repeating myself’ and ‘pull the string’ to one another, too. No matter how many times you pull the string, the doll just repeats the same phrases over and over again. In this case, we know Gale can and does change his tune if you let him, but if he doesn’t and he explodes he keeps the same exact idea for the rest of the game.

“Once I fix me/He's gonna miss me”

crying because Gale consistently thinks that if he does everything Mystra asks that she will forgive him and things can go back to how they were.

“Just say when, I'd play again/He was my best friend down at the sandlot/I felt more when we played pretend/Than with all the Kens/'Cause he took me out of my box”

In a heartbeat, Gale would go back to Mystra and return to their dysfunction. Their relationship was like ‘playing pretend’ and when brought back to reality it was much harsher. He felt more because it was so unrealistic and not expected to last, much like how when you made up stories playing pretend, you would start new ones over and over again. She ‘took [him] out of [his] box’ only to ‘put [him] back on [his] shelf’ but the idea that he was wanted was what made it worth it.

“Stole my tortured heart/Left all these broken parts/Told me I'm better off/But I'm not/I'm not, I'm not”

this is a prevalent theme in all of the album, being ‘stolen’ or ‘taken’ and then being ‘broken’ or ruined, before being casted aside for the idea of being ‘better off’. Gale thinks he’s not better off and would prefer being taken and toyed with, but in reality it’s more beneficial to him. It’s the process of it that hurts.

down bad;

I cannot even begin to comprehend this one. In Taylor’s explanation of this song she states that the metaphor for love-bombing is of an alien taking someone and showing them the galaxy and then sending them home when they really liked it there. And that is just. UGH.

“Did you really beam me up/In a cloud of sparkling dust/Just to do experiments on?/Tell me I was the chosen one/Showed me that this world is bigger than us/Then sent me back where I came from”

THIS. “Tell me i was the chosen one” She did!!! She literally picked Gale as her chosen and then told him to “be contented” as if he wouldn’t be striving for more. She gave him a small slice of godhood and expected him to not want more?

“Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym/Everything comes out teenage petulance/"Fuck it if I can't have him"/"I might just die, it would make no difference"”

Gale locked himself in his tower for a whole Year, nearly dying because he was so depressed over everything. Yes, he also nearly died because of the orb, BUT he mostly locked himself away because of his mourning the relationship.

“Down bad, wakin' up in blood/Starin' at the sky, come back and pick me up/Fuck it if I can't have us/I might just not get up, I might stay”

Had Tara not been there, I do not think Gale would’ve lived. 100% he would’ve died after that first year because he refused to get out of bed. He just wanted Mystra and to have the Weave and without that he was willing to die.

“Did you take all my old clothes/Just to leave me here, naked and alone/In a field in my same old town/That somehow seems so hollow now?/They'll say I'm nuts if I talk about/The existence of you”

THIS??? She took away his abilities (his old self) and left him with, essentially, nothing. And then expected him to just be in Waterdeep and be fine? And then when he’s abducted, if you don’t romance him and/or have him explode for you, he LITERALLY gets called crazy for talking about Mystra. Literally. I’m 90% sure you can tell him to shut up when he tells you the truth about the orb.

“I loved your hostile takeovers/Encounters closer and closer/All your indecent exposures/How dare you say that it's—“

AUGH. Whenever Gale talks about Mystra and how she appeared to him, no matter how much she’s hurt him, he still loves her? He still reminisces on those moments with love and adoration for her despite all the pain that came with it. Everything they did he loved, and her tossing him aside Hurt. Also the sadness in her voice as she says “how dare you say it’s—“ because she ALMOST says ‘over’ but it’s choked back because if she says it she’ll start crying. The same with Gale. He knows in his heart that it’s over but this part of him can’t handle the fact that it is and that Mystra would end it like that.

“I'll build you a fort on some planet/Where they can all understand it/How dare you think it's romantic/Leaving me safe and stranded/'Cause fuck it, I was in love/So fuck you if I can't have us/'Cause fuck it, I was in love”

Gale was SO ready to explore more with Mystra and have her in her entirety. Was it a bit selfish trying to be a god to do that? Yes. BUT she literally left him completely alone after having the orb!! He wanted so much with her and wanted to be able to expand his abilities to match her and instead she tossed him aside like she was “helping” him but really she was destroying him. He was so in love with her (and, yes, the weave too) that he would’ve done everything. Then as the game goes on you can see his progression to understanding how she hurt him and how he’s allowed to be angry about it.

so long, london;

this is one of my FAVORITE songs on this album. the intro is so beautiful and so haunting. this song also makes me SO sad.

“I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist/I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift/Pulled him in tighter each time he was driftin' away”

UGH OKAY. Metaphorically, the fairy lights were like that light at the end of the tunnel. But the mist blocks them out, making it hard to tell if there really is this fantasy-like future ahead or if it’s your mind playing tricks on you. With Gale, he wanted so desperately to have a happy ending. And yes, he does eventually get it depending on how you play, but when it comes to Mystra and everything, he really… doesn’t? He tries so hard to carry the ‘rift’ or the breaking of their foundation. Every time Mystra pulls away from him, he tries to pull her close and hold onto that fantasy he thinks he’s going to have.

“My spine split from carrying us up the hill/Wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill/I stopped tryna make him laugh, stopped tryna drill the safe”

CARRYING US UP THE HILL? SISYPHUS (‘thanK you aIMee’ also has a similar lyric that makes me think of sisyphus as well but that will be saved for that song). Punished to forever push that stone up the hill with no end, never being free from the weight. Not only is she trying to push and carry this weight up, she also is soaked and her bones are tired. She has so much on her own plate that trying to keep up this relationship and keep it going is only making everything else worse. In the same sense, Gale kept trying to keep this dying relationship going. Rather than it being easy, everything just kept piling on top of one another and pulling him down more and more. Eventually, he let’s go of it and stops trying to win her over. He stops trying to ‘drill the safe’, or, stops trying to get something that was never his to begin with. Something that is locked away for a reason.

“Thinkin', "How much sad did you think I had/Did you think I had in me?"/Oh, the tragedy/So long, London/You'll find someone”

MYSTRA THINKING HE COULD HANDLE IT ALL? And then just leaving him. Leaving him to deal with it all on his own. The ‘so long, London’ to me is both Gale saying goodbye to the Weave AND Waterdeep. Obviously he returns to Waterdeep (if he doesn’t explode) but it’s not the same as how he went in. He’s much different when he returns. Also, he knows Mystra will find someone else. He has no worries about that. In the same sense, Mystra knows Gale will find someone else too. Even if he’s still holding onto parts of her.

“I didn't opt in to be your odd man out/I founded the club she's heard great things about/I left all I knew, you left me at the house by the Heath”

Gale went into it thinking he would have her forever. At least, his concept of forever. He didn’t want Mystra or the Weave if it meant that, one day, he might be closed out from it all. He left everything behind for her, and yet she left him behind in his tower to rot.

“I stopped CPR, after all, it's no use/The spirit was gone, we would never come to”

He tried so, so incredibly hard to bring the relationship back to life. But, eventually, he had to give up and realize that help wasn’t coming, it was long gone, and he had to let go. “And I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free” THIS LYRIC ALONE. And the way Taylor says ‘free’ with the shake in her voice… This is. I feel like, deep down, Gale is genuinely hurt and angry with Mystra for all she did. And not just her, Elminster, too. If someone would’ve realized what was going on, he could’ve been saved. But, instead, he dedicated all his youth, his time, his energy, all to her. All to the Weave. Only for it to mean nothing in the end.

“And you say I abandoned the ship/But I was going down with it/My white-knuckle dying grip/Holding tight to your quiet resentment”

THIS?? Mystra saying that Gale was trying to usurp her authority or take over her magic when in reality all he wanted was to love her? Her accusing him of essentially trying to kill her when really he just wanted to be closer to her. He literally was willing to do anything for her, even after she hurt him he was willing to die for her. He tried holding on so so hard, that ‘white knuckle dying grip’ showing how tightly he was gripping onto this relationship. For better or for worse he was willing to drown if it meant he still had a piece of that relationship.

“And my friends said it isn't right to be scared/Every day of a love affair/Every breath feels like rarest air/When you're not sure if he wants to be there”

UGGHHHHH. Tav telling Gale pretty much that he doesn’t have to do this? He doesn’t have to hold onto Mystra and follow her every beck and call and he has to realize that. Every day Mystra finds someone else or focuses her attention on another Chosen, he’s so scared he’s going to lose her forever. Every moment she doesn’t speak to him or ignores him, he fears he’s going to have everything taken away from him. UGHHH.

“You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues?/I died on the altar waitin' for the proof/You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days”

THIS. LYRIC. TOO. Mystra promised him that she loved him, that she was essentially as devoted to him, but every moment Gale spent waiting for her to prove that, to show the same amount of love that he held for her, she failed him. She left him at the altar alone with all his hopes and dreams. She sacrificed him, or wanted him to sacrifice himself, really, for her. So she could keep going and not have to deal with him anymore.

“And I'm just getting color back into my face/I'm just mad as hell 'cause I loved this place for”

GALE FINALLY BEING ABLE TO BE HIMSELF AGAIN!! When he realizes he can trust Tav and doesn’t need to hide these parts of himself.. and then he tells them his secrets and he apologizes for keeping them but he was so wounded from his last relationship that he doesn’t know what to do. Then he gets color back into his face and he’s finally able to heal from it all. And he’s so mad because he loved the Weave and he loved being so talented with it but it’s all in the past and it’s all lost to him now. Even though he still has it but.. you get the picture. UGHH THIS SONG. THIS SONG!!

If you made it this far, thank you for sticking along! My mind works in weird ways when it comes to analyzing/reviewing lyrics. I tend to take things very literally so some of my interpretations are viewed that way!

Either way, I hope you enjoyed. Be on the lookout for tracks six through ten next!

[manysmallhands]

My Albums Of 2022 - Second Tier (pt. 1)

One of the problems that I had this year was that I heard about a half dozen albums in the first nine months of 2022, and was then inundated with new stuff from October onwards. This has meant that I’m aware of a lot more good albums that those that I’ve written about at length but I don’t know them well enough to have a lot to say on the subject. However, I think I can probably manage a round up of both the best new to me stuff, and a few that are great without quite being the best. Tumblr won’t let me put more than 10 links up in a post, so these will have to be split into two: this is January To June

February

Doe St’s slacker rock has plenty of obvious influences, with Pavement and fellow Aussies Chook Race both springing to mind. But their self titled debut was a great example of that thing in indie where someone takes the thing you think you’ve heard done to death and finds a way to make it feel fresh enough to go around again with. In this case, the tunes hit a perfect spot, the untrained harmonies have a lazy charm to them and the guitars have just the kind of scratchy restlessness that I like.

March

Aldous Harding’s forth LP “Warm Chris” was as warm and idiosyncratic as expected, but needed more effort than I was prepared to put in back in March. However, a few listens recently have brought its quality home to me: it’s earthier than 2019’s Designer but just as tuneful, and at its best when pursuing the stranger paths that seem to come to her so intuitively.

Denzel Curry branched out on Melt My Eyez, See Your Future, his most successful record to date, which veered between jazz based Robert Glasper collaborations and hard DnB beats with Slowthai, with plenty to go in-between. The whole thing pulled together in a way that was satisfying enough if slightly uneven, though Denzel's charm and punchy delivery were consistent features.

April

Pop-punk trio Joyride! returned after 6 years sounding exactly the same as they'd always done and, if Miracle Question didn’t quite reach the same heights of brilliance as their masterpiece Bodies Of Water, it followed a similar enough template in both style and quality to remind me why I love them all over again.

Sault released no less than five albums in 2022 (two of which were doubles) as well as an EP and a lengthy single and, to be honest, in the end I couldn't be arsed with it all. But there was plenty to admire if you could hold focus for long enough, with the choral soul crossover Air being the record I returned to the most, an album that combined elegance and joy with a genuine experimental flair. 

May

Black Star returned for the first time in over 20 years and released their album on a paid-for podcasting platform, in a move that I'm going to call dumb. But in spite of all that, No Fear Of Time turned out to be an absolute belter: Bey and Kweli brought some typically insightful politics to the project and the rhymes hit hard alongside Madlib’s disjointed and occasionally soulful beats. 

Warpaint shed some of their angst on the sun-kissed Radiate Like This album, working with a soulful, feminine vibe that made for perhaps the most listenable record they’ve ever released. While the lyrics at times left something to be desired, there was enough elegance and beauty to feel like it marked a welcome step forward.

June

Yaya Bey’s second album, Remember Your North Star was a surprisingly unusual proposition: while there was clearly a more straightforward neo-soul record hiding somewhere in its coattails, almost as big an accent was placed on ambient experiments as the introspective funk pop at its heart. Either way, North Star's sheer quality and unexpectedness made it one of the most intriguing and enjoyable albums that I heard this year.

Part two coming up when i can get it together. In the meantime, why not read some long-ass reviews of my ten favourite records of 2022!

[coghive]

[Music] You Mean The World - MŌRIAH

Recording artist, actress and producer MŌRIAH releases “You Mean The World” today (June 9) at digital and streaming outlets globally from The Fuel Music via https://slinky.to/YouMeanTheWorld. The song is the second of several singles set to debut in the coming months from the multi-artist A New Heaven And A New Earth project that is slated to premiere winter 2023 / 2024. Writing, producing and engineering “You Mean The World,” MŌRIAH also enlisted Andrew Bergthold (We The Kingdom) to play stringed instrumentation. The resulting, beautifully crafted song of love envelopes concern for the world and everyone in it. “When something or someone is vulnerable and unprotected, the first responsibility is to care,” says MŌRIAH. “I couldn’t have written these lyrics if my heart didn’t ache over the ways I’ve not taken that responsibility seriously in the past. The phrase ‘you mean the world to me’ is typically something I’d say to my family or a child. This is the same delicate care I want to attribute to the earth and its Creator.” Along with the single, MŌRIAH collaborated with up-and-coming director Phynley Joelto capture a companion video for “You Mean The World” in both Rome and Nashville, which is slated to release later this month. Reflecting on when she was first asked to participle in this A New Heaven And A New Earth project, MŌRIAH reveals, “At the time, I was having honest conversations with some of my closest creative collaborators about the hole in our community of songwriters. One of the few things that unites every person on this planet is that our feet are all planted on the same spinning miracle. By nurturing nature, we’re caring for each other.” MŌRIAH’s single follows the debut, A New Heaven And A New Earth track from GRAMMY® nominated, Dove Award-winning Building 429 lead vocalist Jason Roy. His “It’s All Yours” released May 12 and was named on the Apple Christian Best New Songs list as well as featured on its New in Christian and Rise Up curated playlists. Additional songs have been produced for the A New Heaven And A New Earth project by well-known Christian artists that felt led to participate, responding to the call to write and record a song on taking care of Creation. The songs, collectively covering rock, pop, hip hop, R&B, indie, folk/ Americana and more musical genres, are being released as singles monthly through November 17, 2023, with a full A New Heaven and A New Earth album slated to launch this coming winter. You Mean The World - MŌRIAH https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOaN3fKY45w&pp=ygUqTU_MhFJJQUggUmVsZWFzZXMg4oCcWW91IE1lYW4gVGhlIFdvcmxk4oCd Read the full article

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Grunge-Metal Geralt 3

its finally time 😂 after months of staring at an empty google doc i finally had a useful idea - also y’all, go listen to ‘Brighter Side of Grey’ by Five Finger Death Punch bc that’s the song i based this on and its fire and i love it also all of ffdp is one whole witchery mood

Warnging: vague discussion of a car crash where Geralt was severely injured, big emotionaly vulnerability, swearing?, listen to the song then you’ll get the vibes i promise

__________________

“Give them a break, guys,” Eskel sighed as he wrote down his coffee order, “They had a close call. It’s not like they’re always this…”

“Gross. Skel. The word you’re looking for is gross.” Lambert snatched the paper out of his brother’s hand and stalked out of the room with Aiden in tow. 

Jaskier scrunched his nose and called from where he was tucked under Geralt’s chin, “Did we drive them away? I can get up if it’s too much.” Even as he spoke, neither he nor Geralt so much as twitched to make good on the offer. 

“Doesn’t bother me,” Eskel shrugged. 

Lambert and Aiden, mainly Lambert, were getting fed up with Geralt and Jaskier cuddling and cooing and doing general new couple bullshit. Especially since they’d been together three years now. They were recording a collaboration song, meaning everyone had to be there, but it seemed the two vocalists only really cared about each other. Jaskier sat on Geralt’s lap, played with his hair, stole kisses whenever he could… at one point Lambert caught Geralt tracing Jaskier’s lips and forced a coughing fit to get his attention. He probably thought it was subtle, even if no one else did. So to take a break and get some of what he called ‘patience juice’ (coffee), Lambert ran to their favorite coffee shop while Eskel laid down his bass line. 

It’s not that they were intentionally this annoying, not all the time at least. After the car crash, especially once Geralt started doing well in his physical therapy, the couple just couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Not to say that was the only relationship Geralt was suddenly extra involved in, it was just the most noticeable. 

Finally, after tea and coffee was distributed to everyone it was time for Geralt and Jaskier to, well, do their jobs. Jaskier was fidgeting and humming little scales, doing anything to calm the sudden nerves he felt bubbling up in his stomach. 

“You alright?” Geralt purred, nudging him with his elbow as they stood side by side at their respective microphones. When Jaskier only shrugged he continued, “What's wrong?” 

“I’m just not used to so many people being here while I…” Jaskier motioned to the mic before glancing around him and taking a deep breath, “it’s a vulnerable song…” 

Geralt’s worry lines in his forehead melted as he pulled Jaskier into his arms, “I can kick them out if you want?” he whispered. 

Shaking his head and inhaling Geralt’s scent deeply, something Jaskier had learned not to take for granted, he steeled his nerves, “I’ll be fine. Maybe a little weepy, but fine.”

As they were about to start, listening to the instrumental track and humming their parts of the song, Lambert brought Jaskier a bottle of water and set it on his music stand. He gave him a quick side hug and kissed his hair, offering a small “sorry” for all his teasing. Jaskier just giggled in response, the kind that only bubbles over from too much anticipation. He missed it, but Geralt mouthed a small ‘thank you’ to Lambert as he sat back down on the other side of the glass. 

Jaskier hooked his pinky around Geralt’s as the guitar intro started, needing that little bit of contact for the first line. When they’d written it it felt perfect. The audience knew exactly what kind of song they were about  to hear and Geralt really hadn’t known if he would pull through. It took Jaskier right back to the dimly lit hospital room where he scrawled and scratched out lyrics to keep Geralt distracted from his upcoming surgery. The fear, the desperation, the little pockets of joy when they forgot where they were, the overwhelming love that Jaskier thought he’d never be able to fully give to Geralt all crept back up his throat as he took a breath for that stupid fucking first line. 

His voice cracked partway through as he sang, making him fully grip Geralt’s hand, “I’m writing this in case I’m gone tomorrow,” By some miracle, he found his support for the next line, “I’m writing this in case I’ve moved along,”

For a moment he thought he’d gotten over the worst of it. A couple lines passed in relative ease, emotional but not so much it interfered with his craft. If he focused on looking at his microphone and keeping his breath supported he might make it through. Then Geralt joined him for the chorus. 

“When the lights go down, Know that I am never far away. When the sun burns out, I’ll be waiting on the brighter side of grey.” 

His harmony faltered and he involuntarily heaved a broken gasp in the middle of a line, desperately trying to focus on the mic that was now warped by the tears in his eyes. 

Geralt broke off after the first word of his verse, turning to Jaskier and pulling him in again, “You alright, love?”

“I’m fine. I’m sorry,” Jaskier groaned in embarrassment as he clung to Geralt’s frame, “I’m being a baby. I wasn’t even the one hurt.” 

“No you’re not,” Geralt argued, running his knuckles over Jaskier’s cheeks to wipe away his tears, “Here,” he moved their mics and stands close enough that they were shoulder to shoulder and their fingers could comfortably lace together. 

Jaskier squeezed his hand gently and gave him a brave smile, “From the top?” 

“From the top.”

This time Jaskier tried watching Geralt as they sang. He made it through the first chorus and got to just watch as Geralt sang his verse. The pang of emotion in his chest was still ever present, but it was manageable. Until he noticed Geralt having trouble. 

On “All you get to keep is what you’ve shared,” Geralt squeezed his eyes closed and his grip on Jaskier’s hand tightened. The folk singer prepared, relaxed, readied himself to take a breath in. He was expecting that one to hurt after how much Geralt insisted upon it. How he threatened to get out of that hospital bed and scribble the line himself if Jaskier didn’t put it in. He wasn’t expecting the last line of the stanza to hurt. It had been comforting to the both of them at the time.

Geralt’s lip quivered and his voice was almost pinched as he sang out, “Remember no one ever really dies.”

Even being the one to write the melody, Jaskier missed the first three notes of the chorus, “Fuck. Shit. I’m so sorry.”

“No, that was on me,” Geralt sniffed and chuckled, “I knew you’d lose it if I did.”

“How do you do this?!” Jaskier exclaimed, chugging half the water bottle to keep the breakdown at bay. 

Aiden’s voice came over their headphones, “Half our songs are his trauma and another quarter are group trauma. He’s got practice sweetheart.”

They tried a couple more times, even got through the whole song once with only minimal tears and one tasteful cracked note. But it was still a struggle for Jaskier to keep it together, and the more they sang, the more Geralt lost his iron grip on his composure. 

“Look at me,” Jaskier instructed, moving Geralt to face him and adjusting their mics so they could sing to each other, “Just like when we wrote it. Except a little less pain.” 

The joke earned a snort out of Geralt, exactly what Jaskier was aiming for, “This is supposed to be easier?”

“We can try?”

Jaskier did wonderfully for his verse, singing to Geralt was familiar and safe, even if the subject matter was terrifying. The chorus went well, but as soon as Geralt started to sing, Jaskier couldn’t exhale and it was all he could do not to sniff and ruin the take. 

“If you’re hearing this I know you’re probly scared,” had tears falling down his cheeks again and Geralt’s voice cracked as his eyes welled up, “Nope,” he choked, “that’s worse. Much worse.”

“Fuck,” Jaskier gave a watery giggle as he wrapped his arms around Geralt’s middle, “Why did we decide to do this again?”

Geralt pressed a kiss to Jaskier’s hair, sniffling and holding him tight, “I think we’re sadists.”

“Back to back,” Eskel’s voice crackled in their ears, “Try it back to back.” 

Leaning back to watch Jaskier’s reaction, Geralt hummed, “Do you want to? Or do you need a break?”

“Fuck it,” Jaskier shrugged, spinning Geralt around and following suit as he moved his equipment. 

As they stood waiting for the tech to start the audio, Jaskier felt like he could really inhale for the first time all day. Geralt was there, he could feel his ribs expand against his back and his fingers tapping like a metronome on Jaskier’s palms. This is what they were missing when they wrote the damn song. The comfort of knowing someone is always at your back, that they’ll be there when it’s hard and even when you’re separated. 

A warmth spread through Jaskier as the intro started and he felt ready. He still pressed back into Geralt on the harder lines, reminding himself he was still there, but they both made it through two full takes. 

On the final one, as the recording of the softly picked guitar faded out, Jaskier couldn’t help but repeat two more lines, “When the lights go down, Know that I am never far away.”

His voice hung in the air for a beat, the sense of finality reverberating through the studio and bringing everything else to a stand still. 

Geralt was the first to breathe, “Shit, we made it.”

“We fuckin made it,” Jaskier huffed, emotionally drained but immensely satisfied as he turned to hug Geralt from behind and press his cheek to his spine, “I love you.”

“I love you too. Let’s get a snack?”

“Yeah.”

When the sound tech played the potential mix for the first time, he tacked on an echoing, distant sounding recording of their conversation. Everyone looked at each other and nodded, goosebumps on their arms and that feral sparkle in their eyes that every artist gets when they’ve stumbled on something really exciting. They re-recorded some guitar and drums, but they kept the vocals exactly the same. 

For the album art they wrote “I love you” on the tattered hospital stationary that had the lyrics and chords written on it and took a picture. Jaskier had the original framed and hung in their house as a little reminder. 

[atc74]

The One With The Letter

Square(s) Filled: Breakup for @spngenrebingo, Free Space for BTZ Bingo

Warnings: breakups, angst, tears, angst, confessions, love, fluff, implied future smut

Summary: After another break up, Dean can’t just sit back anymore. Will he be the man of action like we know him to be, or will he surprise us all?

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1585

Written for: @supernatural-jackles Bi-Weekly Writing Challenge (prompts in bold) and @smol-and-grumpy Nat’s SuperFriends Title Challenge

Beta’d by: @amanda-teaches

A/N: Thank you to my cheerleader and friend @waywardbeanie, for always saying the things I need to hear. Inspired by Billy Joel’s An Innocent Man, lyrics have been worked into the fic throughout. 

Like Dean’s scent? Buy it here from @scentsfromthebunker!

From the curved entry of her front door, Dean watches as his best friend, his rock, weeps. Another failed relationship that she no doubt blames herself for. But the truth was, she was attracted to a certain type of guy. A clean shiny penny on the outside, but on the inside, worth less than that. Not a single man she had dated in the last few years had treated her even close to how she deserves to be treated. How he could treat her. How he wants to treat her. No matter what, Dean is always there to hold her, to pick up her pieces and hold them together until she finds the strength to move forward.  

Y/N had been there for him when he hit rock bottom, too. A string of terrible relationships with women who would never hold a candle to her. That is why they failed. He knew that going in and yet, he kept going. For the last few years, she has been the only woman for him. He tries to make her see it, between douchebags, but he can never get through to her. He has been biding his time. Maybe, just maybe, tonight she’ll listen to him.

Because, he is an innocent man in this situation. He has never hurt her, has never lied to her. He hates seeing her like this. If she opens that door, lets someone in, fearful of a touch, living with the anger of having been a fool. She will not listen to anyone so nobody tells her a lie. For three weeks, he stops over each night after work to find her in this state of pain and anguish. With measured movements, he lowers himself to the sofa beside her, pulling her blanket a little tighter around her. Y/N involuntarily flinches at the soft touch. 

Sniffling and wiping at her eyes, Y/N pushes him away. “I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

“I know you don’t, sweetheart, and you don’t have to. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to see me either, but I wanted to see you. See how you’re holding up,” Dean’s soft voice rumbles through her small living room. 

Dean murmurs gently, his words encroaching further on her space. “I’m not going to talk to you if that’s not what you want. Please call me later, Y/N. You can’t ignore me forever. Let me know you’re okay.” 

“I don’t owe you an explanation, Dean,” she snaps, immediately regretting her words, her tone. Dean is always here. Each and every time she fails, he is right here to mend her broken pieces. “I’m sorry.” 

“No, you don’t owe me anything, Y/N/N. I just want you to feel better, and I’ll do anything to see you smile again,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to her temple. “I’ll be back tomorrow.” 

With that, Dean rises from the worn sofa, dropping an envelope from his jacket pocket before turning and leaving, the door clicking loudly behind him. He uses the spare key she gave him to secure the lock, a heavy sigh leaving his lips. “I love you, Y/N.”

~*~

The daily alarm wakes her from a fitful slumber. Y/N blinks slowly, trying to clear the cobwebs of sorrow and tears from her heavy eyes. The first rays of sunlight dance across flecks of dust floating in the air, landing on the cluttered coffee table, illuminating the plain white envelope, her name written across the front in Dean’s simple block lettering. 

A small hand snakes out from the beneath the warm blanket, snatching the envelope from its resting place. With shaking fingers, Y/N opens it and scans the letters scrawled across the page. She takes a deep breath and starts at the beginning. 

Y/N, 

I know you’ve been through some shit, none of which you deserve. None of it was your fault, so stop blaming yourself. You’ve been my rock so long, I don’t know what I’d do without you by my side. I’ll be here for you through anything, good or bad, come Hell or highwater. 

I know you don't want to hear what I say. I know you're gonna keep turning away. But, I've been there and if I can survive, then I know you can, too. I can keep you alive. I'm not above going through it again, for you. I’ll do anything for you. 

I know you’re only protecting yourself. I know you’re thinking of somebody else. Someone who hurt you, but I’m not above making up for the love you’ve been denying you could ever feel. I'm not above doing anything to restore your faith if I can. Faith in humanity, in men, in me. 

I’ve held on to these feelings for you so long, too afraid to open my big mouth and lose the best thing that ever happened to me. But I can’t keep it to myself any more. I don’t just want to be the one to comfort you when you’re hurting, I want to be the one to protect you and keep you safe, so you don’t hurt anymore. I want to be the reason you smile, because you’ve been mine since the moment we met. 

Some people say they will never believe another promise they hear in the dark, because they only remember too well they heard somebody tell them before. I know you’ve heard them before, but this is my first promise to you, I will never make you a promise I don’t intend to keep. 

I don’t want to sleep alone every night. I want you by my side, to curl into you, create a safe space for you to just be, to feel, to be loved. 

But, I've been there and if I can survive, I can keep you alive. I'm not above going through it again. I'm not above being cool for a while, so if you're cruel to me I'll understand. That's your decision, but I'm not below anybody I know if there's a chance of resurrecting a love. I'm not above going back to the start to find out where the heartache began. To hold you until you believe the promises I whisper. To hold you until you believe that I’ll never hurt you. To hold you until you believe in you, in me...in us. 

I’d never do anything to ruin what we have. I guess some people hope for a miracle cure, or some people just accept the world as it is. But, I'm not willing to lay down and die without you, not without a fight. I’ll fight for us, but more importantly, I’ll fight for you. 

All my love always, 

Dean

Through the tears, Y/N reads his letter over and over until she can no longer see. Wiping her eyes, she unlocks her phone and shoots him a text. With new found resolve, she jumps in the shower. When she emerges from the steam, feeling better than she has in months, she finds her best friend sitting on her sofa. 

“Thank you for coming, Dean. After I pushed you away last night, I didn’t know if you would,” she whispers, taking a seat next to him. 

“I’ll always be here when you need me, or want me. You know that, Y/N,” Dean assures her, taking her hands in his. “I see you read my letter.” 

“It’s always been you, I was just too scared and selfish, and foolish to see it,” she replies, shaking her thoughts loose. “I never thought my feelings would be reciprocated. Nobody’s ever written me a love letter before.”

“I knew I couldn’t say all of that out loud, I was so scared to say anything, I didn’t want to lose you. I guess we’re a couple of idiots, huh?” Dean chuckles. 

“We found each other. That’s all that matters,” Y/N smiles, resting her head on his shoulder. 

“I don’t know about you, but I could use a nap,” Dean yawns, running his fingers through her hair. 

“Didn’t sleep well?” she questions, looking up at him. 

“Not when I slept on the floor outside your door.” 

“You did not!” Y/N smacks his shoulder playfully. 

“I bet the neighbors know my name,” he grins sheepishly, pointing at his work shirt, his name clearly on display. 

“Not how you hoped that would happen, is it?” Y/N giggles, teasing him.

“It made you laugh, though. I missed it; your laugh, your smile,” Dean says, cupping her cheek. “I missed you.” 

“I’m sorry,” she mumbles. 

“Don’t be. Where there is no struggle, there is no strength. We will be strong together,” Dean vows. 

“Did you just quote Oprah Winfrey?” she laughs.

“I did. You’re a bad influence on me, what can I say?” he shrugs.

“Let’s get some rest. We can be bad together later,” she winks, rising from her seat and reaching out her hand for him. 

“Can we fight so we can have some angry make-up sex later?” Dean smirks, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“Slow down, Winchester. Nap first. We’re only about ten minutes in, I don’t know if I’m ready to have our first fight yet,” she scoffs. 

“Well, if it helps, it will probably be my fault and I’ll spend hours apologizing,” Dean offers. 

“So the neighbors really know your name?” she giggles. 

“As long as you keep laughing and smiling, I don’t care what they call me, as long as you call me yours.”

Did you like it? The nicest thing you can do for a writer is reblog their work and tell them, and others, how much you like it!

The Whole Enchilada: @iwantthedean @dolphincliffs @mrswhozeewhatsis @flamencodiva @blacktithe7  @amanda-teaches @hannahindie  @kickingitwithkirk  @wi-deangirl77 @hobby27 @gh0stgurl @alleiradayne @idreamofplaid @manawhaat @crashdevlin  @emoryhemsworth  @fangirlxwritesx67 @winchesterprincessbride @waywardbeanie @jensengirl83 @anathewierdo  @winchest09

The Dean’s List: @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @dean-winchesters-bacon​ @adoptdontshoppets @supernatural-jackles @fandom-princess-forevermore @akshi8278 @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @deanwanddamons @rockhoochie

[chiechie97]

FIC UPDATES!!!

Oh the woes of having multiple ongoing fics!!!!! 🙃

I’ve said it on A03 but I’ll say it here, I don’t abandon my fics. Even if i haven’t updated in forever, just know life got in the way and I’ll be back!!!

So! Where I’m at with all my fics!!!

Tiny Miracles: I’m about halfway done with the next chapter. These chapters are a lot longer than what my other fics have so I often find myself having to write in bursts. But Im hopeful it will be updated by mid-August!

Stage Lights: The next chapter is coming soon! For sure by the end of next week. I’m just sort of stuck between two outcomes for the ending of it. I wont give too much away but our girl Lily gets a bit of a break. I feel I’ve given her enough hardship. Also for those who have been there since the beginning i wrote the entire song “Red Devil.” And there’s definitely a performance scene with it. I may even post the lyrics as a sneak peak the day before I upload ;)

Paint Brushes and Spell Books: my only non-jily fic 😍with the LOML George!! This one I’m honestly not sure, I have it started, I know where it’s going, I know what I want to happen. This is probably going to be my longest fic. My OC is a character I’ve grown to love, and the story I have planned for her and George is a long-haul/slow-burn one for sure. The end of the month we should get an update!!!

These Cruel Delights: I just did a double update!!! And the next chapter is mentally written (I know what’s gonna happen, i just haven’t written it down yet lmao). This one i’m not gonna guarantee anything given the other fics I have to focus on. I’m defs hoping ASAP because I’ve fallen back in love with the story. but again, no guarantees on when

Thanks for reading!!!

Lots of Love

Chie <3 

[trashcreatyre]

I'm gonna explain one of my TMA playlists bc I've been wanting to do that for several months, and how else am I supposed to procrastinate my animatic project at one in the morning?

(here's the link to the playlist bc I think its pretty slappin')

General:

Body Terror Song By AJJ-

I know that it could technically be a flesh song, but I feel like its a bit more vague than that? if that makes sense?

The Afternoon By Lemon Demon-

there's gonna be a lot of Lemon Demon songs in this lol- This one is also pretty vague, but for some reason it kinda reminds me of Michael specifically? I don't 100% know how to describe it.

thrifted youth By dalynn-

Most of the descriptions/reasonings in the general section are pretty simplistic and vague huh? I guess it just kinda fits the vibe? I might be saying that for a lot of the general ones-

Aurora Borealis By Lemon Demon-

this one reminds me of the season five, kinda feels like a jmart song. (also you'll probably notice that there's not much in the ship theme in this playlist. I like to keep my ship playlists separate from my more general ones, don't know why.)

Under My Skin By Jukebox The Ghost-

just kinda fits the vibe y'know? other than that I don't really know.

Turn the Lights Off By Tally Hall-

i can't actually remember why I put this one specifically- that's a bit unfortunate-

When He Died By Lemon Demon-

This one mostly just fits the vibe, makes me think about the really old Victorian era statements.

Ancient Aliens By Lemon Demon-

again, fits the vibe.

She Doesn't Sleep By Anthony Amorim-

Feels like a random statement tbh. also reminds me of Not!Sasha too.

Nightmare Fuel By Lemon Demon-

funky song- fits the vibe- I don't know what more I can say-

Everybody Loves Me by OneRepublic-

I don't remember actually???? I think It was an Elias one??? but thinking about it now that doesn't really make much sense???? I'm gonna keep it tho, fits the vibe, at least it does to me.

Bloody Nose By Jack Conte-

fits the vibe :)

Christmas Kids By Roar-

I think I saw an animatic to this one time? now I can only think of the season one archival staff,,,, my beloveds,,,,

La nuit en matin By OH MU-

imma be honest, I have no idea what this one's actually about, but It lowkey reminds me of the intro music during end of season three- y'know, the clown vibes :D

9 to 5 By Dolly Parton-

Archival staff moment

American Healthcare By Penelope Scott-

I guess it could technically be seen as an End themed one? but I put it on bc I felt like it fit the vibes (are you getting sick of reading vibes? i'm getting sick of typing it)

Butch 4 Butch By Rio Romeo-

mostly just the rat filled piano line,,,,,, and also it fits the vibes to me.

Oblivion By Grimes-

Kinda feels like a statement?? In a way?

Murders By Miracle Musical-

the vibes. hopefully thats the last time i type that for this-

oh yeah woo yeah, we're onto the specific Entities now B) lets start with the one that probably has the most, if not, it sure feels like it-

The Spiral:

Spiral Eyes By Rewenge-

yeahhhh,,,, I know it doesn't really fit the vibes all that well, But the title fits and I like it so-

The Distortionist By Ghost and Pals-

this one is SUPER obvious, but it fits REALLY well in my mind.

Out of Her Head (Outerlude) [From The Film Possibly in Michigan] By Korban Baxter-

I can literally picture this one- I lowkey wanna do an animatic of this one one day.

A Crow's Trial By Vane Lily-

OKAY- so this last one is because it's the song from an absolutely GORGEOUS animation/animatic by Akidachi on YouTube, I ADORE this animation. please watch it omg-

again, I'm like, 90% sure that The Spiral has the most songs on this playlist, definitely not a bias or anything. next up is the mf uhhhh-

The Corruption:

Spiral of Ants By Lemon Demon-

no explanation needed.

Maggot By Slutever-

Mostly just the name, but it's a good song too so-

Sick On Seventh Street By Sarah and the Safe Word-

fits the vibe title and actual song wise.

in retrospect under my skin probably could be here-

The Web:

Redesign Your Logo (Bonus Track) By Lemon Demon-

Feels like a very web song,,,

Boris The Spider By The Who-

Spider,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Spider Dance By Toby Fox-

Yes,,, like from undertale,,,,,,,

i think thats it for the web (i swore there were more,,,,)

The Lonely:

Nobody By Mitski-

C'mon, you didn't think I WOULDN'T put this one on, did you?

This December By Ricky Montgomery-

idk what it is exactly about this one, just,,,, feels correct?

Blue Jay Way By The Beatles-

MANNNNNNN- i love this song, my mom hates it- that's unrelated- but I always just feel like there's fog or like, an eerie sea, or something- while listening to it. it feels very lonely-

I'm a Member of the Midnight Crew (1909) By Eddie Morton-

I have no idea why spotify suggested this song to me, but I will never not find it funny. Anyway- reminds me of the crew on Peter's ship :)

The Stranger:

Rattlesnake By Kabaret Sybarit-

Idk, feels like smth Nikola would sing at jon- idk how else to explain it-

A Mask of My Own Face By Lemon Demon-

pretty self explanatory lolll

The Slaughter:

War Pigs By Black Sabbath-

war.

The Hunt:

The Hunter By Slaves-

maybe this one is because it's because it's litterally called the hunter, and that they say hunter a bunch, but it is fun to listen to-

Teeth By 8 Graves-

I cannot remember my reasoning at this current moment-

The Flesh:

Body By Mother Mother-

the lyrics do be fittin doe

The Dark:

Everything Goes Dark By The Hoosiers-

i mean- everything goes dark- what more do you want me to say-

Dr.Sunshine Is Dead By Will Wood and the Tapeworms-

i think its mostly the song's vibe and the title.

The End:

The Trick to life By The Hoosiers-

the trick to life is not to get too attached to it.

Memento Mori: the most important thing in the world By Will Wood-

remember death.

YOOO OKAY NOW WE'RE ON THE ONES THAT I HAVE ACTUAL THINGS TO SAY ABOUT NOW- at least for the most part-

Characters:

i think i'm gonna go from least to most for this- (spoilers, Jon has the most ones because I care him)

Cryptid Hunt- Demo By Averno, Sushi Soucy-

this one makes me think of the WTGFs,,,,,

You're at the Party (Bonus Track) By Lemon Demon-

makes me think about Micheal Shelley,,,,,,,

Saint Bernard By Lincoln-

Alice "daisy" Toner moment-

Mary By The Happy Fits-

mary keay,,,,,,

there used to be a gerry one too, but the more I heard it in the context of the playlist and him, It just didn't fit,,,,,

Ew it's Elias/jonah time-

The Fine Print By The Stupendium-

capitalism- jk- kinda- Idk, just feels like it fits because he really just kinda,,, doesn't care about his employees-

How Bad Can I Be? from the lorax-

I had to-

Boss 3 from the terraria soundtrack-

Listen- I don't know why- but- it has elias/jonah vibes- the vibes are fowl, but the song is good.

Ruler of Everything By Tally Hill-

Panopticon/eyepocolypes time-

Ayooo it's jon time- I really hope I can write out my thoughts in a way that makes any kind of sense- /foreshadowing

A Sadness Runs Through Him By The Hoosiers-

Goddddd,,,,, he's just kinda filled with sadness and survivors guilt, just like, all the time huh?

Home By Cavetown-

the lyrics are just- very him- like- I just gjbdjgsflkjns-

Broken Crown By Mumford & Sons-

frick- the foreshadowing was accurate- the best I can describe it is that the lyrics just???? y'know??? hhh why am I like this sometimes-

Sweet HIbiscus Tea By Penelope Scott-

i'm willing to bet that he never wanted to be the main character-

Honey I'm Home By Ghost and Pals-

I saw a Jon centric animatic to this one time- I can't for the life of me remember who by, But everytime I hear the moth lines, my brain goes ":0" Because I remember there was a time when people kept drawing moth jon- I don't know where that came from but I thought it was very cool.

Who Are You, Really? By Mikky Ekko-

I'm like- actually starting to get frustrated with how poorly im articulating my thoughts right now- this just isn't funny anymore-

Sleep By My Chemical Romance-

I'm not actually sure why for this one- I just remeber putting on my black parade CD, hearing this, and being like, "damn, that do kinda be jon tho-"

I hope you enjoyed my ramblings- tbh, all this sounded and read out better in my head. My words might not make sense, but I do like how the playlist is. also im very tired, maybe this would've been written better if I wasn't struggling to keep my eyes open lol. I'm gonna fall asleep now- or maybe i'll post a spiral themed doodle dump again, who knows. I don't know.

[triptuckers]

Life - Niall Horan

Request: yes! “Hey! If it’s okay. Can you please write an oneshot where Niall Horan holds his baby daughter for the first time, and there is lots of cutesy romantic stuff between him and the reader. Thanks so much!” Pairing: Niall Horan x reader Summary:  Niall finally gets to meet his baby girl. And a new definition of perfect is written.  Warnings: just fluff. so much. I might vomit lol. this is some tooth rotting sweet shit. I love it.  Word count:  1K (lyrics included) A/N: I based this on the song “Life” by Sleeping at Last. I love the song, and this request reminded me of it. I recommend listening to it while reading! Italics are lyrics! Enjoy reading :)

It began with a whisper in my ear: "I think it's time." Suddenly all we held dear was on the line. As your heart measured in mountains fell and climbed. You're okay, you're okay, you're okay, you're okay. Amen.

Niall is speechless. There she finally is, laying on your chest. She’s so tiny and looks so fragile. Her crying stopped and she’s peacefully laying in your arms. Gently moving up and down as you breathe. After all these months, there she finally is. 

Part of him is dying to hold her. The other part of him wants to look at his girls for the rest of his life. You had wanted to start a family for months. You kept trying and trying and nine months ago, the good news finally arrived. And now, a beautiful daughter is here. Niall feels like his heart is going to burst out of love.  We were changed in an instant. We became so much more. Our definition of perfect was written when she was born.

You had spent months preparing for her arrival. You had enjoyed picking out baby clothing and painting her room. It all seems to disappear a little, making place for worry. 

You didn’t know how to be a mum. You had read parenting books and talked a great deal about it with your own mum. Yet, while you are holding your daughter, you feel like you don’t know anything. Your mother told you that might happen. And that everything would be all right. Every woman that became a mother had to learn how to be one. 

Niall is still looking at you, a faint smile on his lips. His eyes are still a bit teary, but you don’t blame him. He wanted to be a dad so bad. Practically screamed out of happiness the day you told him you got pregnant. You smile as you remember the day.

’Want to hold your daughter?’ you say softly. Niall’s smile broadens and he nods. He walks over to you and slowly sits down on the edge of the bed. You carefully lay her in his arms. 

’Hey little one.’ says Niall softly. ‘I’m your dad. And I love you so much. You’re perfect.’ He reaches out with his hand to caress her cheek and her tiny hand gets a hold of his finger. The contrast between her little hand and Niall’s finger makes you smile. You can see how she slightly tightens her grip.

As her hands held tight. And her eyes met mine, I saw the future unfold in sliver and gold. And I'm already proud. Niall is quiet for a while as he looks at the little miracle in his arms. Her eyes are blue and bright, just like his. And they’re widened as she looks up at him. His heart fills with love. He had only seen his eyes faintly when looking at some of his family members. And now, a little bundle of joy looked at him with the exact same ones. 

You look at Niall and your heart melts. The man you love and now the newest member of your little family. Niall’s eyes tear up a little more while looking at her.

‘I’m proud of us.’ you say softly, feeling tired. ‘Me too.’ says Niall, not taking his eyes off his baby girl. ‘We really did a good thing.’ he says.  ‘Yeah, we did.’ you say smiling. Niall looks at his daughter who is looking back at him. ‘No matter what you do, little one, we will always be proud of you. Your mum and dad will always be proud of you.’ says Niall.

Beautiful like your mother, You are grace, you are light. The better version of our past. From the start of life. ‘God, she looks so much like you.’ says Niall. You chuckle. ‘She’s got your eyes though.’ you say.  Niall nods. ‘Yeah, she does.’ he says softly. ‘You must like that.’  You chuckle again. ‘I do. You know I adore you eyes. Now I’ve got two sets of ‘em.’ you say. 

‘She’s so beautiful.’ says Niall, still not taking his eyes off her. ‘Just like you.’ ‘Shut up.’ you say. ‘I just gave birth. I’m not beautiful right now.’ He finally turns to look at you, and pushes the hair off your sweaty forehead. ‘You’re always beautiful.’ he says, making you blush. After all these years, he still made you blush. 

‘She’s going to be such a wonderful girl.’ you say, looking at your daughter. ‘I hope she’s kind.’ says Niall. ‘Oh, I bet you she is.’ you say and he laughs softly.

‘Can I hold her for a while? Want to look at her up close one more time before I take a nap.’ you say.  Niall carefully lays your daughter in your arms and you smile at her. ‘Hello, you.’ you whisper, and you press a kiss to her forehead. 

There is so much to tell you. There is so much to see. We will show you the oceans, and everything in between. What a privilege to love you, To teach you all that we know. To watch you build a collection of dreams that you can call your own. Niall looks at his girls lovingly. Your eyes are closing every now and then out of the tiredness, but you don’t take them off your daughter. He can’t wait to take her home. To teach her everything he knows. 

He’s going to talk to her all day every day. He’s going to show her the world. Maybe, when she’s old enough, he can take her with him on tour. He could take her to the studio, teach her how to play guitar. 

God, he’s so lucky. Not only because he has a beautiful woman that loves him, but now he also has a beautiful daughter. After meeting you, he didn’t think he could ever love anyone as much as he loves you. But he’s wrong. He might love his baby girl slightly more. Just slightly, though. 

He’s going to watch her grow as a person. She’ll give him drawings. With stick figures and big yellow suns made out of crayon. He’ll show her off to everyone around. Because he’s got an amazing, beautiful little girl. 

Niall can’t wait to be there for his little girl. Down every road. He’s ready.

Our definition of perfect was written when you were born.

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rules Here’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Jo

[twoidiotwriters1]

Written In The Stars CXXXII (Harry Potter xF!Oc)

A/N: Only six chapters to go!! -Danny

Words: 5,233

Series’ Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Listen to: ‘How To Be Yours’ -by Chris Renzema

Chapter Thirty: O.W.L.'s

It was chaos after Fred and George's departure. 

Mel didn't even have to lift a finger to make sure the school was having a good amount of incidents, everywhere she went something was always happening, people were eager to copy the twins' doings, and the teachers had no intention to stop them.

The Inquisitorial Squad was in hell, which was what Mel had been dreaming for months. Something not so great was Erick as the main target of people that didn't know he was helping. Despite this, the D.A. knew about his friendship with Mel and they were very careful to keep him safe from any major harm. 

"When Mum's next letter finally gets through Umbridge's screening process I'm going to be in deep trouble. I wouldn't be surprised if she's sent a Howler again."

"But —"

"It'll be my fault Fred and George left, you wait," said Ron. "She'll say I should've stopped them leaving, I should've grabbed the ends of their brooms and hung on or something... Yeah, it'll be all my fault..."

"Well, if she does say that it'll be very unfair, you couldn't have done anything! But I'm sure she won't, I mean, if it's really true they've got premises in Diagon Alley now, they must have been planning this for ages..." Hermione said.

"Yeah, but that's another thing, how did they get premises? It's a bit dodgy, isn't it? They'll need loads of Galleons to afford the rent on a place in Diagon Alley, she'll want to know what they've been up to, to get their hands on that sort of gold..."

"Well, yes, that occurred to me too, I've been wondering whether Mundungus has persuaded them to sell stolen goods or something awful..."

"He hasn't," said Harry.

"How do you know?" asked Ron and Hermione.

"Because —" Harry glanced at Mel. "Because they got the gold from me. I gave them my Triwizard winnings last June."

"Oh, Harry, you didn't!" Hermione gasped.

"Yes, I did. And I don't regret it either — I didn't need the gold, and they'll be great at a joke shop..."

"But this is excellent! It's all your fault, Harry — Mum can't blame me at all! Can I tell her?"

"You really are Harry's best friend, aren't you?" Mel snorted.

"Yeah, I suppose you'd better," said Harry. "'Specially if she thinks they're receiving stolen cauldrons or something..."

Once on the school grounds, she heard Harry and Hermione still arguing about it.

"It's no good nagging me, it's done! Fred and George have got the gold — spent a good bit of it too, by the sounds of it — and I can't get it back from them and I don't want to. So save your breath, Hermione."

"I wasn't going to say anything about Fred and George!" 

Ron snorted.

"No, I wasn't!" She insisted. "As a matter of fact, I was going to ask Harry if he's going to go back to Snape and ask for Occlumency lessons again! You can't tell me you've stopped having funny dreams, because Ron told me last night you were muttering in your sleep again."

"You were only muttering a bit," Ron blushed. "Something about 'just a bit farther.' " 

"I dreamed I was watching you lot play Quidditch," Harry lied. "I was trying to get you to stretch out a bit farther to grab the Quaffle." 

"Wow, that was brutal," Mel grimaced. "If I were you, Ron, I'd sneak some farting bubbles in his pumpkin juice..."

Ron's ears turned red from embarrassment and annoyance, Hermione pinched Mel's arm and she complained, but Harry looked very pleased about his own behaviour.

"You are trying to block your mind, aren't you?" Hermione pushed.

"Of course I am," said Harry, his eyes darting away from his friend's face. "Mel's been helping me lots, haven't you, Mel?"

"Sure thing," Mel lied. "He's making progress. Honestly, I think I'm a better teacher than Snape."

Truth be told they hadn't practised at all after Fred and George left school. Mel was busy with her homework and Quidditch practice, and not once Harry had asked her to help him with Occlumency. Probably because he didn't want her to look into some private memories again.

"You know," said Ron, "if Montague doesn't recover before Slytherin play Hufflepuff, we might be in with a chance of winning the Cup."

"Yeah, I s'pose so," said Harry, eager to change the subject.

"I mean, we've won one, lost one — if Slytherin lose to Hufflepuff next Saturday —"

"Yeah, that's right," Harry's eyes followed Cho's figure as she crossed the courtyard without looking at him once. 

"You know," Mel said quietly. "You shouldn't force it... When things are meant to be, they just happen."

The morning of their game against Ravenclaw Mel was a nervous wreck. She was stuffing herself with all the food she could reach.

"You'll throw up if you keep eating like that!" Hermione took the bowl of fruit from her hands.

"I need that!"

"You don't."

"I mean, I can't get any worse, can I?" Ron said anxiously. "Nothing to lose now, is there?"

"If you keep saying that I'll kill you," Mel groaned. "I'm going to pass out, I just know it..."

As she and Ron were leaving the Hall, Harry tried to catch up with them, but Mel was so entranced in her own thoughts that she didn't hear him yell until he tried another name.

"Dumbledore girl!"

Mel turned back, her eyes landed on Harry and her frown vanished.

"Oh," She blinked. "What's up?"

"It's your first game as Seeker," He shook her hand, squeezing a little. "Best of luck... Can I ask you a favour?"

"Okay?"

"Give hell to Cho," He smirked. "Only during the game, though."

She chuckled. 

"I'll do my best, Glasses."

Both of them froze.

"I'm sorry," She stammered. "I wasn't thinking, I—"

"It's okay," Harry replied softly, his eyes shining at the nickname.

A little voice whispered in her ear: 'Not again.' 

"I have to go," She said, turning hot on her heel and leaving a startled Harry behind.

"And here they come! The Weasleys! Johnson! Bell! Spinnet! Sloper! and Dumbledore! This is Mel's first game as a seeker — Cheers, Mel!"

"I'm so full of shit..." Mel whispered tensely.

"And they're off! And Davies takes the Quaffle immediately, Ravenclaw Captain Davies with the Quaffle, he dodges Johnson, he dodges Bell, he dodges Spinnet as well... He's going straight for goal! He's going to shoot — and — and — Shit! And he's scored."

As predicted, the tune of  'Weasley is our king' started around the stands. Mel took a deep breath coming to terms with the fact that this was beyond her control, all she could do now was focus on catching the snitch. As Bradley plummeted towards Ron, the boy threw himself to the right and he... stopped the Quaffle.

A brief moment of stunned silence surrounded them, then, just as quickly, the Gryffindor crowd erupted into cheers. Mel shared a look of genuine shock with Ginny, then she looked back at her friend, who was frozen in disbelief.

"You got this, Ron!" She shouted.

Mel could only describe what happened next as pure magic. Ron stopped every single attempt to score from the Ravenclaws one after the other. He did all this with truly impressive manoeuvres as well. Angelina was beaming with pride, Katie and Alicia were at the top of their game too; even Jack was doing a decent job.

Ginny was having a blast, throwing the bludgers around to the opposite team. Mel and Cho would circle the game above everyone, and with every passing minute Cho started to look more and more anxious. Mel tried to keep a neutral attitude towards her, but apparently, Cho had witnessed the moment when Harry chased after her to wish her good luck personally. It wasn't Mel's fault, his loyalty was towards Gryffindor, not her! 

An hour after it had started what it was by far the best game of the season, Mel caught a glimpse of something golden at the end of Ravenclaw's side of the field. She flew fast towards it, but Cho was right behind her. She took a sharp turn when a chaser flew right in front of her, causing her (and Cho) to lose sight of the snitch.

The girls went back up with grumpy expressions, but then she looked down to see how the game was going and spotted the snitch two feet away from the tail of  Cho's broom. Mel swore loudly and gave another abrupt turn, circling Chang's broom. The tail barely grazed her shoulder as she chased after the tiny thing. Mel stretched out her hand and in one sudden movement, she seized it.

The game was officially over, and Gryffindor had won.

Mel stared down at the object on her palm as she landed, she was tackled into a hug by the whole team, Ron was in the middle of it, being the star of the match. Only then she realized the lyrics of the song had changed. 

Weasley is our King,

Weasley is our King,

He didn't let the Quaffle in,

Weasley is our King...

Weasley can save anything,

He never leaves a single ring

That's why Gryffindors all sing:

Weasley is our King.

Angelina was a crying mess as well as Alicia, this being their last game probably felt like a miracle sent from heaven. Katie and Ginny were euphoric, Jack couldn't believe their luck. Every girl in the team kissed Ron on the cheek and Jack patted his shoulder roughly. Mel got her own round of hugs and kisses, and they were both suddenly lifted in the air, guided to the stands so they could receive the Quidditch cup from none other than Umbridge herself.

Sure, instant gratification was all right, but nothing was quite as pleasant as the absolute outrage in Umbridge's face when the cup reached Mel and Ron's hands, both of them lifting the cup proudly for everyone to see. 

As the crowd guided them back to the castle, Ron shouted.

"HARRY! HERMIONE! WE DID IT! WE WON!" 

She looked to where he was yelling and found their friends beaming at them. Mel's eyes fixed on Harry's expression, he hadn't looked that happy since last June. She was delighted to be part of the reason why he was smiling like that.

"Hagrid's keeping a what in the forest?" 

Hermione hushed her, they were in their room long after the party had ended, the girl had sneaked into her bed to talk about what they'd done during the Quidditch match. Turns out that neither she nor Harry had seen it, Hagrid appeared and asked them to follow him into the forbidden forest. There he introduced them to his half brother, which happened to be:

"A young giant?" Her voice came out muffled since Hermione was covering her mouth. "He spends his afternoons being his brother's punching bag?"

"He reckons he's helping him become... er... civilized," Hermione said. "It's awful, really. Grawp looks like he'd much rather spend his time chasing down centaurs than learning how to spell 'tree'."

"And he made you promise we would look after him? No. Absolutely not."

"We don't have a choice —"

"We don't even know if he'll get fired!"

"Do you really think Umbridge will let him stay? I mean, Harry and I were the ones who promised anyway, so you're not obliged —"

"Don't be silly," Mel rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't leave you alone — And let's be honest, I'm stronger than you when it comes to magical defense, I'm probably the one who's got a bigger chance to control a small giant."

"You're probably right..." Hermione sighed. "I couldn't bring myself to tell Ron — Neither could Harry! We couldn't..."

"I guess we can't do much besides sit and worry, can we?"

"Yeah, reckon so."

"I always said there was no use in sitting and worrying," She pouted. "But usually that's the only thing I'm able to do..."

"Well, I mean, I'd already let in that one of Davies's, so I wasn't feeling that confident, but I dunno, when Bradley came toward me, just out of nowhere, I thought — you can do this!" Ron was describing his first saved for the third time. "And I had about a second to decide which way to fly, you know, because he looked like he was aiming for the right goal hoop — my right, obviously, his left — but I had a funny feeling that he was feinting, and so I took the chance and flew left — his right, I mean — and — well — you saw what happened."

The boy pushed his hair back and made it messier. They were sitting outside, trying to enjoy the fresh air of the afternoon, the sight reminded her of a scene that though she wasn't originally there to witness, now was part of her memories.

"And then, when Chambers came at me about five minutes later — what?" Ron stared at her and Harry. "Why are you two grinning?"

"I'm not," Harry glimpsed at Mel and knew they were thinking about the same thing. "I'm just glad we won, that's all."

"Yeah... we won," Ron agreed wistfully. "Did you see the look on Chang's face when Mel got the Snitch right out from under her nose?"

"I suppose she cried, did she?" 

"Wow, you definitely didn't sound bitter at all," Mel snorted. 

"Well, yeah — more out of temper than anything, though..." Ron was right, but Mel didn't feel particularly proud of this, it wasn't like she wanted Cho to throw a tantrum, she just wanted to win. "But you saw her chuck her broom away when she got back to the ground, didn't you?"

"Er..." 

"Well, actually... no, Ron," Hermione closed her book. "As a matter of fact, the only bit of the match Harry and I saw was Davies's first goal."

"You didn't watch?" Ron visibly deflated. "You didn't see me make any of those saves?" 

"Well — no. But Ron, we didn't want to leave — we had to!"

"Yeah?" The boy started to get annoyed. "How come?"

"It was Hagrid," Harry explained. "He decided to tell us why he's been covered in injuries ever since he got back from the giants. He wanted us to go into the forest with him, we had no choice, you know how he gets... Anyway..."

By the end, Ron had forgotten he was even mad.

"He brought one back and hid it in the forest?" He whispered.

"Yep," said Harry simply.

"No... no, he can't have..."

"Well, he has," Hermione stated. "Grawp's about sixteen feet tall, enjoys ripping up twenty-foot pine trees, and knows me," the girl snorted, "as Hermy."

Ron laughed nervously, Mel chortled.

"You didn't tell me about your nickname last night!"

"Because I knew you would tease me endlessly," The girl rolled her eyes.

"And Hagrid wants us to..?"

"Teach him English, yeah," Harry replied with a crooked smile.

"He's lost his mind," Ron concluded.

"Yes," Hermione responded. "Yes, I'm starting to think he has. But unfortunately, he made Harry and me promise."

"Well, you're just going to have to break your promise, that's all. I mean, come on... We've got exams and we're about that far," he made a gesture with his fingers, a millimetre of space keeping them from touching, "from being chucked out as it is. And anyway... remember Norbert? Remember Aragog? Have we ever come off better for mixing with any of Hagrid's monster mates?"

"I know, it's just that — we promised..." Hermione pouted. 

"Well... Hagrid hasn't been sacked yet, has he? He's hung on this long, maybe he'll hang on till the end of term and we won't have to go near Grawp at all."

Panic rose over the fifth-years as June welcomed them into the busiest start of summer of their lives. Mel was sick of studying, so she spent her afternoons helping some classmates review their subjects. In exchange, Neville helped her with Herbology, he was a marvellous tutor.

Erick had seen her one time after the Quidditch final, the boy was preoccupied with studying for his own exams. Next year would be Erick's seventh and last, and he was determined to become the Headboy. Mel asked him if it hadn't lost its charm now that Umbridge was headmistress, but Erick merely shrugged and assured her there was no way that woman would be there next year.

"You know what?" Mel yawned. "I wouldn't mind chucking down my throat some doxy droppings to see if they can pull me out of my misery. I hate feeling like I'm not good enough, I don't know how my dad did this for seven years..."

"Cheer up," Ron tried to pat her shoulder, touching the wall instead. "You're only saying that because you have no patience. You're the smartest witch in our year right after 'Mione — You got this. Now shut up and let me worry in peace."

"Remember our vow?" She smirked, nudging his arm. "The one about us being awful together?"

Ron looked at her. "Well, if Miss Popular's done ignoring her old friends, then yeah, I remember."

"I admit I was a bit of a prat this year," Mel made a face. "But I would never change you for a stranger! You're my best friend!"

"You say that all the time," The boy rolled his eyes, but put his arm around her shoulders anyway. "Keep saying it, it's nice to hear." 

Mel snorted, elbowing his side playfully.

She did splendidly on her examination, she was the first out of the four to be called in for her practical exam. Professor Marchbanks was delighted to have her.

"Dumbledore, aren't you?" She asked eagerly. "Yes, yes... Oh well dear, what are you waiting for? Do your best..." 

It was the first time in a while that her routine was exactly like everyone else's. Their classmates were buzzing with anxiety and none of them looked exactly happy, some older students would try to sell them fake brain stimula but Hermione was quick to put an end to it. Mel was strangely thrilled about being part of it all. She was, at last, just another student trying to pass the year.

All in all, even if she was just another student, there was no denying that she had way more advanced knowledge in some areas. Mel outdid her D.A.D.A exam and the only time she hesitated when answering a theoretical test was during Herbology, which if anything, turned out to be humbling. She didn't want to have all her success inflating her head again, she wasn't planning on becoming the next James Potter, no matter how close she'd been to be one that year.

They had a whole weekend ahead before they had to take the rest of their O.W.L.S, Harry, Ron, and Mel sat in the common room and played chess to release some tension. Mel was watching them, but she was too sleepy to pay attention and ended up taking a nap on Ron's shoulder.

Hermione entered the common room in such an agitated way that Mel gave a start, bumping heads with Ron.

"How were the runes?" Ron mumbled as he rubbed the side of his face.

"I mistranslated 'ehwaz'! It means 'partnership,' not 'defense,' I mixed it up with 'eihwaz.'"

"Ah well," The boy yawned, "that's only one mistake, isn't it, you'll still get —"

"Oh shut up. It could be the one mistake that makes the difference between a pass and a fail. And what's more, someone's put another niffler in Umbridge's office, I don't know how they got it through that new door, but I just walked past there and Umbridge is shrieking her head off — by the sound of it, it tried to take a chunk out of her leg —"

"Good," said the three.

"It is not good! She thinks it's Hagrid doing it, remember? And we do not want Hagrid chucked out!"

"He's teaching at the moment, she can't blame him," said Harry, pointing over at the window. 

"Oh, you're so naive sometimes, Harry, you really think Umbridge will wait for proof?" Hermione scoffed, leaving them there to storm off to her room.

"Such a lovely, sweet-tempered girl," Ron murmured.

Since Hermione didn't abandon her constant state of anger and anxiety, Mel's friends designated her as the study guide so she supervised everyone. 

Potions passed rather easily, she was getting quite good at it, though she was far from being the best. Care of Magical Creatures was a different story, she'd always been good with animals. On Wednesday she had her Astronomy O.W.L, and that's when things got ugly, though not in the way she was expecting.

Even if her love for the night sky had been damaged thanks to Divination, she was still fond of the stars, not that they could tell her anything about her current situation, but they were a peaceful and bright constant. It was comforting, even if the world was about to end, little would change outside their planet, and eventually, things would move on.

As she looked down to rearrange her parchment, her eyes landed on several figures moving towards Hagrid's cabin, one of them with a particularly stiff way of walking. Umbridge knocked on the cabin's front door and Hagrid opened it. Hermione was right after all, the woman was ready to chop one more head before the end of the term.

Harry was watching as well. Professor Marchbanks walked behind him and he quickly returned his eyes to the map he was making, Mel stayed still, looking directly to the cabin instead of the sky.

Someone yelled. Several students turned their attention to the school grounds and Professor Tofty cleared his throat.

"Try and concentrate, now, boys and girls — twenty minutes to go." 

Mel looked down and skimmed through her map, she had finished, she only needed to—

BANG!

The girl pushed her telescope aside and walked up to the railing, too worried to care about the points the Professors could take from her.

Hagrid's door had burst open and by the light flooding out of the cabin they saw him quite clearly, a massive figure roaring and brandishing his fists, surrounded by six people, all of whom, judging by the tiny threads of red light they were casting in his direction, seemed to be attempting to Stun him.

"No!"

"My dear!" said Professor Tofty. "This is an examination!"

"They're attacking him!" Mel responded.

"Be reasonable, Hagrid!" 

"Reasonable be damned, yeh won' take me like this, Dawlish!"

Why was an Auror there if Hagrid was only being fired? Why bring law enforcement to something as silly as a sacking?

Mel blessed Hagrid's half-giant origins because they kept him from getting injured, the spells would bounce off of him when thrown in disorder, but the Aurors were trained people, they started to attack him at the same time. Hagrid grabbed one of the men and threw him in the air, leaving him limp on the ground.

"Look!" Parvati gasped.

"Now, really! Only sixteen minutes left, you know!" Professor Tofty insisted.

Mel turned to leave the tower, Ron grabbed a hold of her arm and stopped her.

"He needs help!"

"Look!" Ron pointed out.

"How dare you! How dare you!" 

"It's McGonagall!" Hermione gasped.

"Leave him alone! Alone, I say! On what grounds are you attacking him? He has done nothing, nothing to warrant such —"

The girls around her screamed, McGonagall received a total of four stunning spells that threw her back, she didn't stand up again.

"Galloping gargoyles! Not so much as a warning! Outrageous behaviour!" Professor Tofty exclaimed.

"COWARDS! RUDDY COWARDS! HAVE SOME O' THAT — AN' THAT —" 

"Oh my —" 

Hagrid took two massive swipes at his closest attackers; judging by their immediate collapse, they had been knocked cold. 

Harry saw him double over and thought for a moment that he had finally been overcome by a spell, but on the contrary, next moment Hagrid was standing again with what appeared to be a sack on his back — then Harry realized that Fang's limp body was draped around his shoulders.

"Get him, get him!" 

"Ron, let me go!"

"If you go there you'll get expelled! What can you do against trained Aurors?"

"More than you can imagine!" She growled. "I said, let me go!"

Ron jumped back and held his hand with wide eyes. He had blisters on his palm as if he'd burnt himself on a stove. Mel froze, unable to know how on earth she'd managed to do that.

"He's gone!" Harry said out loud. "Hagrid's leaving!"

"That evil woman!" Hermione exclaimed. "Trying to sneak up on Hagrid in the dead of night!" 

"She clearly wanted to avoid another scene like Trelawney's," Ernie Macmillan responded.

"That cow," Mel was pale from both, fury and shock. Ron was doing his best to stand as far from her as possible. 

"Hagrid did well, didn't he?" He asked, careful to hide his hand from the others. "How come all the spells bounced off him?"

"It'll be his giant blood," Hermione frowned. "It's very hard to Stun a giant, they're like trolls, really tough... But poor Professor McGonagall... Four Stunners straight in the chest, and she's not exactly young, is she?"

"Stop," Mel felt an all too familiar coldness on the tips of her fingers. "She will get better, she's a tough woman..."

"Dreadful, dreadful," said Ernie, reminding her a bit to Lockhart. "Well, I'm off to bed.. 'Night, all."

"At least they didn't get to take Hagrid off to Azkaban," Ron continued. "I 'spect he's gone to join Dumbledore, hasn't he?"

"I suppose so... oh, this is awful, I really thought Dumbledore would be back before long, but now we've lost Hagrid too..."

"I... I have to... bathroom..." Mel looked around desperately, squeezing the fabric of her robes between her hands to dry them. "This is not — sorry —"

She ran, already gawking by the time she managed to open the door to one of the stalls. Everything inside her felt unsteady, she wanted to help Hagrid but she couldn't, and now they didn't have him, nor Dumbledore, and who knew if McGonagall was going to recover... 

She'd hurt Ron without meaning to — just like Ariana Dumbledore, she'd felt a bit of herself slipping away in her frustration and anger, she understood why it had been so easy for that girl to lose control... But she wasn't crazy! This had been an accident, and she was going to fix it... But what if things escalated before she could find a way to stop? 

Someone walked in and followed the noises she was making, she hadn't even tried to close the door to her toilet. Mel closed her eyes tightly, taking a shaky breath.

"I'm okay!" She said, but it was quite obvious in her voice that she was sobbing. "Please go!"

"How many times do I have to tell you —" She jumped at the sound of his exasperated tone, "not to run when you have an attack? It makes it harder to breathe!"

Mel scowled at him without getting up from the floor. It was disgusting, she was unable to calm her breathing, she couldn't reply properly. Harry crouched down next to her and she tensed, but the boy raised both hands to ease her, supporting one on the wall to not lose his balance.

"I won't touch you if you don't want me to," He said, "tell me what you need — Don't ask me to leave you, though — can't be on your own..."

Mel shook her head, swallowing harshly. 

"I can't — I can't breathe —"

"Yeah, well, you ran all the way to the bathrooms," He stated. "But it's okay —"

"I wanted to help... but Ron —" Her voice broke. "I hurt him..."

"He showed me," Harry said, then quickly added. "He's not angry."

"I'm going crazy — I can't control it —"

"You're not crazy," Harry moved slightly so he could face her. "Look at me — Don't think about it, just look at me..."

She didn't want to, didn't want him as the witness of her frailty, but it was the only person around. Mel looked up and focused solely on him.

"You're not crazy," He repeated, his eyes fixed on hers. "Going to the school grounds would've gotten you expelled."

Mel shook her head in a sort of childish manner, her breathing was reaching a reasonable rhythm. She closed her eyes tightly and pressed her lips together to stop crying, but it didn't work.

"What's your cat's name?" He asked in a clear voice.

"What?"

"Your cat," He said. "What's his name?"

"Grey..?" Mel picked up on what he was doing and continued. "One... One, two, three, four letters... G— R— E— Y... and he's black... B— L— A— C— K..."

"That's right," He smiled a little. "Good job..."

The counting and spelling was a game her mother used to distract Mel whenever she was feeling anxious. Harry knew it since they were kids. 

"Did you know..." She said weakly, "you're the only idiot who always sees me cry like this?"

Harry snorted, sitting down with his back against the wall.

"That can't be true."

"It is."

"What about Hermione?"

"No," She pushed herself away from the toilet and sat on the floor fully.

"Fred?" Harry looked at her with scepticism. "Erick?"

 "Maybe teared up a bit, but... I only cry like this when... do you really think I'm not crazy?"

"It's me who everyone's calling mental."

"Yes, but that's a lie."

"Same with you."

"Dumbledore said —"

"Dumbledore can't know it all, can he? Or he would've warned Hagrid about Umbridge before leaving."

"...maybe," She cleaned her face with the back of her sleeve. "I didn't mean to hurt Ron."

"He doesn't blame you," Harry stood up. "He said it was a foolish thing to do... he should've known better than to try and stop you."

"Don't say it like that," Mel frowned. "Like it's not a problem — I shouldn't... I should have better control —"

"You do," He said, helping her to her feet. "But you have to make mistakes sometimes, genius and all."

"I'm not a genius," She scoffed. "I'm a twat."

"Who said you can't be both?" Harry taunted. "This is the boy's bathroom, by the way."

"Oh blimey," said Lee Jordan, covering his mouth. "It's me's been putting the nifflers in her office, Fred and George left me a couple, I've been levitating them in through her window..."

"She'd have sacked him anyway," Dean shook his head. "He was too close to Dumbledore."

"That's true," Harry fell back on his chair tiredly.

"I just hope Professor McGonagall's all right," said Lavender.

"They carried her back up to the castle, we watched through the dormitory window," Colin Creevey informed them. "She didn't look very well..."

"Madam Pomfrey will sort her out," said Alicia. "She's never failed yet." 

"I doubt she would let herself die in such a way," Mel added calmly. "She won't leave this earth without making sure Umbridge gets fired... and neither will I."

Next Chapter —>

Taglist.

@dee123ksha @vampiregirl1797 @siriuslysirius1107 @stardusthigh @mikariell95 @vernon-dursley @thesuitelifeofafangirl @tomshollandz @kylosleftbuttcheek @reverse-hxlland @bloodorangemoonlight @omiwashere @t-rexs-world @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @21bruhs @i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual @dielgonacoffee​

[possessingtheproperspirit]

Fic writer interview

Thanks for the tag @thequibblah, @alrightevanns and @sunshine-marauders! :) I feel like this should be subtitled 'Okay, But We Didn't Ask For Your Life Story'.

Name: Cer (or cesays on here, or cells55 on AO3, because why have the same username when it could be much more confusing).

Fandoms I write for: Marauders, although I have vague ideas for Golden Trio-era stuff, it's just not quite devastating enough for me ;)

Two-shot: I haven't written a two-shot for this fandom, just a few one-shots and a multichapter. I like one, three, or multi. Don't ask me why because I have no idea.

Most popular multichapter: Not a lot of competition, ha, but The Price We Pay is my multichapter fic. Nine chapters in so far!

Worst part of writing: Having the time, energy and ideas all aligning together. When I have the inspiration, that's usually when I'm exhausted and/or too busy.

How you choose your titles: For almost all of my fics and for chapter titles, I usually get to the stage of posting the work on AO3 and then think, oh bugger, it needs a title. Lyrics are a classic, or a word/phrase that has thematic links. The one exception was Not Waving But Drowning, the first HP fic I wrote which I had a title for after writing about 500 words. (If you were thinking, you know what, I really want to read Remus Lupin slowly cracking under the strain of intense grief, his friends suspecting him and the pressure of the war as October 31st creeps steadily nearer, check it out! It's my favourite of the ones I've written, but then, I am an angst monster).

Do you outline: It varies. Most one-shots just sort of happen when I get a fraction of a scene in my head and it all just flows from there. Apart from Expectant, but that was because I thought I should probably consider what emotional points I wanted to hit for each month of Lily's pregnancy instead of winging it like I usually do. For The Price We Pay, I got to chapter 3 and then decided I should probably do an outline, but I haven't stuck to it entirely and I don't plan very many chapters ahead. I just jot down the key focus of each section of a chapter, or sometimes, just write "?????" and hope that inspiration hits me later. It's kind of a miracle I ever get anything done.

Ideas I probably won’t get to but it would be nice: I have this idea of Harry, post-BOH, in therapy, percolating in my brain. I'm not sure I'll ever write it, but it seems interesting and fun in theory!

Callouts: Cer, I feel like literally no one but you cares that you started the last sentence in the same way as you're starting this one, just chill out and WRITE SOMETHING.

Best writing habits: I have a notebook that I keep on my bedside table which has really helped me get more stuff down. Something about actually writing by hand feels freer, in a strange way, although later typing it up and finding that it was not as much as I thought it was is a bit irritating, ha.

Spicy tangential opinion: Eeeeek I don't know that I have one? At least not one that's different to what I've seen from other people. Perfect characters are dull characters.

TAGGING: @efkgirldetective, @mppmaraudergirl, @scriibble-fics if you haven't done it already! :)

[ailec-12]

Today, September and Calendar

Thanks!

Today: Have you made any progress in any wips today?

Uhh, no. Remember what I said about writing earlier this week? Well, I've done a million things, but unfortunately writing hasn't been one of them.

September: Share a comment or review which still warms your heart?

Oh, Anon, I can't share only one. I've been rereading comments this past month and several come to mind right now. These all warm my heart no matter how old they are or how many times I've read them already.

randomdork11 on House Potter:

You’re back!!!! I’ve missed you and this story more than I realized. Little Sev dealing with sick Harry and exhausted parents is so heartbreaking and sweet that I can’t handle it! Plus, I can totally relate to the exhausted parent bit XD. That whole family is just far too adorable. A certain bean who is far less evil than she proclaims to be, told me you were about to post again, so I’ll admit that I’ve been checking my updates like a crazy person.

Self-doubt is easily the worst part of writing. However, if I can offer you any encouragement, it’s that you have no reason to doubt yourself. Sometimes stories seem so big and daunting and we aren’t sure if what we are writing even makes sense or is relatable or true to character. Everyone goes through it and - as I’m sure many have already said - in your case, you’ve nothing to worry about. This story is beautiful and charming and captures the characters so very well. You’re doing a marvelous job of creating well rounded characters who all have faults and positive traits. You’re writing it in a way that none of the characters seems too good or too bad, just simply human. It’s utter perfection and you should be extremely proud of this work!!

Happy writing Ailec! And if you end up in doubt, just remember that your readers all agree that you are wonderful and we are here for you!!

@allstoriesrtrue24601 on the last OFaH chapter on AO3:

What a beautiful ending to an unbelievably impressive series! Having read the original series on fanfic.net repeatedly habitually since their original completion, it’s brought me so much joy to have weekly reminders of how much I love this story; and now with a gorgeous new epilogue!!

I’ve said it before but the one thing that really gets me about your writing is the characterisation - it drives the stories in a way I feel is really missing from most pieces of published works and tv shows. The bonds you build between characters and the whole dynamic really comes through throughout each installment - making the character development extremely natural and impactful. I’ve waxed lyrical previously about your writing style but I reiterate that it’s utterly and irrevocably beautiful, especially when considering English is not your first language. The pacing, plot and actual progression of the pieces are so well thought-out and really prompts excellently-executed dialogue and exposes opportunities to get to the hearts of the characters. It is suffice to say I have THOROUGHLY enjoyed your work in every one of its forms.

On a side note, I feel massively honoured to be mentioned in author’s notes (I have to say I’m slightly star-struck) and I’m more than happy for any future English queries. Have a wonderful day x

Kuroui, also on OFaH, but the first version on FF:

I realize I never actually left a review on here but here it goes.

This is definitely one of my all time favourite fics to ever exist period. Not just within the OUAT fandom. I was ecstatic with the introduction of Zelena, as it opened potential for Regina to have someone blood related still alive for her to interact with. At the end of Season 3 when Zelena was given that second chance, I was excited to see a possible turn around for her character. Up until that point, everything she had done was to give herself a better life, one with her blood mother, in hopes that she may be loved. She was not unlike Regina's initial persona and I could see how they could connect over it.

Season 4 dashed those hopes, and the progressing seasons left me with a bitter taste in my mouth. In the end, I am glad at least that at the end of Season 6 they had become something like sisters, and for that I am glad. I am also happy to see Zelena returning to play some time in Season 7. I dont know what it is but Zelena is my favourite OUAT character, and I love Rebecca Mader who plays her. For that reason I always seek out Zelena fics in hopes of finding good ones as she is not one of the most popular characters, in terms of fic writing at least.

This fic was both amazingly written and brought to light my hope of them reconciling as sisters. I like that it was not an immediate turn around from "villian" to "good", but a gradual process that involved interactions with multiple people and learning from mistakes. It made her a very real and relatable person. Everyone has flaws and makes mistakes and going from a life where her only goal was to hurt Regina, to living with her and attempting to be "good" was a large turn around that no doubt shook her to her core. You displayed that in your series very well, showing the ups and downs in her journey as well as the reflective reactions from those around her.

Henry's role in this was very heartwarming and he really is a miracle. The Greatest Believer. I do not think that Zelena would have come as far as she had without him. Though Regina does her best, it is always nice to have someone else there, not to mention someone who looked at Zelena without any negative feelings. Having multiple people care and believe in her no doubt gave her greater motivation to change and be a better person. Not to downplay Regina's role in this of course. Regina very much has been the core to this family, to Zelena's change.

At the end, Zelena desired to be wanted, to be enough, and she was going to look for that in Cora. Regina knew though, that it wasn't Zelena's fault for that, Cora only wanted power. Which you had her explain. And I think that having Regina turn into that person that Zelena wanted to be enough for, to be loved by, was a big change even if she didn't realize it. The initial hostility, anger and sadness moved away from being targeted AT Regina, to more herself and referenced in terms of Regina instead.

At that point, I think that Zelena's family slowly began to form in her own subconscious which eventually or hopefully would expand onto friends like Robin and Tinkerbell and perhaps even the Charming family, they do get along well enough of course. And if Charming's reaction to her run in with Sidney was any indication, I'm sure they would welcome her with open arms at this point.

Overall I suppose I can summarize it into this.

Thank you for writing this story/series. It holds a very very special place in my heart and I come back every once in a while to read through it. It warms my heart every single time no matter how many times I've read it. I love it with every inch of my OUAT loving soul and I am so glad that such an extensive well-written piece on Zelena exists.

Long comments aren't the only ones that have my eternal love and gratitude, though. Here's a couple of recent ones that are making this writing hiatus much more bearable:

Ninafia on the latest instalment of Hotchpotch:

I loved this! You're really good at writing emotions.

It's like I'm in their head, if that makes sense. Thanks for the chapter!

Lilia on House Potter:

This is such a remarkable story—so subtle and heartbreaking. Use of child Sev’s POV is a true narrative tour de force. Wish I could give it 100 kudos.

I'm lucky to have received a lot of nice comments over the years and you can be sure that, if your comment made me happy the first time I read it, I've come back to it more than once.

Calendar: Do you have a schedule for posting?

Not right now —I only keep a posting schedule when there are a few chapters already written at the very least.

Fanfic questions :)

[thepancakeboi]

My Demons

Spoilers below for Persona 5, told from Goro Akechi’s POV directed at Ren/Joker, written based off the lyrics of “My Demons” by Starset (the lyrics themselves are colored red). Starset is definitely one of my favorite bands of all time and after the sad-fest that was Liar, my “Goro Akechi isn’t dead” mindset had to write a sequel. So here it is in the beautiful, glorious mess that it is meant to be because...well, I’ll explain it at the end.

Starts on December 16th with each break being a time skip to the next day.

 “Mayday! Mayday! Abandon ship!”

I barely repress a maniacal chuckle as shadows and cognitions alike run, bleating like the lost sheep they are. The grin spread wide across my face is the only crack in my otherwise calm facade. Wait, why are they panicking again? Oh, that’s right. The ship is slowly sinking around them. This chaos isn’t my doing, as far as I’m aware, but I bask in its glory. This is the chaos I had sought to bring to reality before...

Before what? What has changed? Was it...the fight against you, Joker, and your band of thieves? It’s the last thing I remember vividly. Sae’s Palace, the betrayal, shooting...you, finding out you were still alive and that you must be making a move on Masayoshi Shido, all of it leading up to this grand finale: the showdown between the former ace detective and the Phantom Thieves. I know why we fought. I had truly thought that I needed to eliminate everything in my way to get my revenge, no matter the cost. They think I'm crazy but they don't know the feeling of having everything you worked for so hard to be both so tantalizing close yet crumbling down into pieces. Their words meant nothing to me...at least, that’s what I had led everyone to believe. You, however, saw through the act, at least, I think you did. Even if your stupid feelings for me kept getting in the way at every turn, you were always one step ahead of me until the end where the wall separated us.

They're all around me, Shido’s cognition of me and the shadows ready to tear me apart should he lose to himself. Surrounding me, circling like vultures waiting for their next meal: Goro Akechi, the bastard son of this ship’s “captain”. They want to break me and wash away my colors from this world and the real one, but I refuse to go down without a fight. I face myself, our bullets fire, and-

That’s...the last thing I remember.

Everything else is a blur. I haven’t been able to think clearly since that fateful moment. My memory, usually so immaculate and infallible, has been failing me. I can’t recall anything, least of all how I survived. Had I fought tooth and nail through the hordes of enemies, desperate to survive another day? Did I perhaps summon Loki from the dredges of my waning strength in a last-ditch effort to destroy Shido’s plans for me? Or had I collapsed from exhaustion and been left for dead when I still had some sliver of life left in me? I find that I don’t know the answer to that question. All I know is that I’m still here, on this cruise ship from hell, feeling like I have nowhere else to go. In a sense, they did wash away my colors, and now all that’s left is my true self. The me I’ve been hiding for so long that it feels unreal.

It’s almost...freeing.

If only you could see me as I am. You could take me high and I'll sing like a canary of what I had done. I’d tell you of every little thing that led us to that moment. Maybe that’s what pushes me to make my way off the ship because I’m just now realizing that...

Oh, you make everything okay.

Okay...

Okay. Just a little bit further. My wounds from before make for a slow, painful escape but, through either some miracle or curse, I find myself back in the real world. I don’t stick around. I know you likely weren’t far behind, and I don’t really want you to see me like this: broken, hurt, and with no one to turn to.

I crash on my bed, finally able to rest after my agonizing escape. Normally, I would welcome the pain to keep my mind from going places I didn’t want. Not even this pain is enough to stop my thoughts straying to you. Even now, you’re just as distracting as ever. We are one in the same, similar in almost every way except for one: our ability to cope with our situation. I caused you so much pain and trouble, and despite what you said back there, I can’t bring myself to believe any of it could be true. But...you take all of the pain away.

Away...

Away is where I need to go. You wanted to save me, yet you can’t.

Even if I want you to save me if I become my demons.

————— 

I wake up in confusion. How did I get here? Where was Shido’s palace and why was I not there? How-

I wonder if I cannot stop this sickness taking over. Something is clearly wrong with me if I don’t even remember yesterday clearly. Was it even yesterday? I don’t know. I think I escaped Shido’s palace, but I don’t remember how. Whatever it is that is afflicting my mind, it takes control and drags me into nowhere. It’s frustrating, not being able to remember.

I do remember one thing clearly: you.

You wanted to save me. I wouldn’t let you. I still won’t let you, even if-

I need your help. I don’t want your pity or any cliche bullshit. I don’t even want your damn forgiveness. I just want...

You.

—————

I wake up in confusion. How did I get here? Where was Shido’s palace and why was I not there? How am I alive? What-

I...think I remember reflecting on these lost memories before? I feel like I’ve pondered this, but I’m not quite sure. Whatever it is that is afflicting my mind, I can't fight this forever. In a spur of the moment decision, I turn the television on. What I see shocks me.

Masayoshi Shido, my father, is confessing to his evil deeds.

You...You actually did it. You...kept your promise. A sense of relief overtakes me. Everything is finally over. I’m free from his influence at long last.

Are you seeing what I’m seeing? Why am I even asking? I know you're watching, for you wouldn’t miss this moment for the world. 

I can feel you out there, somewhere in the crowd...

—————

I wake up in confusion. How did I get here? Where was Shido’s palace and why was I not there? How am I alive? What happened regarding Shido? Did-

Didn’t something important happen...? I pull out my phone, hoping for some clue as to what has occurred. It’s apparently December 19th. Odd...I don’t remember the last...four days? Or is it five? Shit, I don’t remember-

Wait a minute...yesterday...didn’t...didn’t Shido confess his crimes? No one...no one’s mentioning it outside of lamenting Shido’s “poor health” or some bullshit like that. How could they acquit him so easily!? There’s also no mention of the psychotic breakdowns or mental shutdowns, or, more accurately, that I was the perpetrator. The thought of that makes me laugh. I’m almost tempted to go and turn myself in if only to do something regarding the piece of shit I had for a father. They could take me high and I'll sing of everything I did for that bastard.

I can’t, though. Not yet...it would be too hasty and reckless. I suspect Sae-san is putting together a case against Shido at this very moment. She wouldn’t be the type to let this slide so easily.

I...wonder what you’re thinking about all of this. All of your fighting, and for what? The public to ignore you? Oh, I know you though. You make everything okay.

Okay?

Hahah...okay. What a strange thought. It feels familiar though. Have I thought about this before? I don’t recall...

—————

I wake up in confusion. How did I get here? Where was Shido’s palace and why was I not there? How am I alive? What happened regarding Shido? Did everything go according to your plan? Where-

Have...I asked myself this before? Something doesn’t feel right. 

We are one in the same, two sides of the same coin, thesis and antithesis as I had remarked all those months ago. It’s funny how my thoughts immediately drift to you. I guess I cannot help myself. I really did mean what I was thinking back then. I truly had planned on dying for you because...I love you. Oh, it’s hard to admit that. But you take all of the pain away.

Away...why am I staying away from you?

I want to find you and find out what you think of this situation, but why should I bother? I’m not worth a second of your time. You’re the hero, and I’m little more than a nuisance who realized too late that he was doomed from the start. My pride refuses to admit it out loud, but...I want you to save me if I become my demons. I need you to take me over the walls below, the walls I had built to distance myself from you. I want little more than to fly forever with you.

You probably think I’m dead. Maybe I should keep it that way. I don’t want you worrying over me, yet I also want to feel your warm, comforting embrace. I...I’m not sure what I should do. All I can ask of you is please don't let me go, for I need a savior to heal my pain when I become my worst enemy.

I don’t want to betray your trust ever again. I don’t want to be the enemy of the Phantom Thieves...of you.

—————

I wake up in confusion. How did I get here? Where was Shido’s palace and why was I not there? How am I alive? What happened regarding Shido? Did everything go according to your plan? Where are you? Why-

There’s this sense of deja vu in the back of my mind...like I’ve asked myself these questions before. It’s an unnerving sensation because I don’t remember if I have. 

You could take me high and I'll sing like a canary of what I had done. I’d tell you of every little thing that led us to-

Wait a second. This sounds familiar. I know I’ve had this thought before, but the “when” or the “why” eludes me. I wonder if you would know. The thought of walking over to Leblanc almost gets me to leave my room for the first time in...however many days. I chuckle at my own foolish longing. I’m supposed to be dead. A dead man can’t just walk into the cafe of the rival who thinks he’s forever gone. Would you even want me there? I don’t know. All I know is that you make everything okay for me.

We are one in the same, two people locked by fate in situations we cannot escape, but while I cause misery wherever I go, you take all of the pain away.

—————

I wake up in confusion. How did I get here? Where was Shido’s palace and why was I not there? How am I alive? What happened regarding Shido? Did everything go according to your plan? Where are you? Why can’t I remember? Wait-

Shit, I thought I was remembering something. For a moment, I...I could have sworn there was some fragment of my memories I could latch onto.

Take me high and I'll sing... Wait, haven’t I had this thought before? The memories feel so close to clarity, but I either can’t or don’t want to remember.

Oh, you make everything okay...okay, okay? This is familiar too...but why?

I give up on trying to remember, for now. Instead, I let my thoughts drift to the one person that ever made me truly happy: you. Ren Amamiya, a simple transfer student who just happens to have a false criminal background. Akira Kurusu, a name I’ve seen you use a few times in more...dangerous situations. Joker, the charming and daring leader of the infamous Phantom Thieves of Hearts. Pick whatever name you’d prefer me to call you; they’re all the same raven-haired beauty who caught my interest that fateful day in June. We are one in the same...more than I can ever imagine. We’re stuck in whatever sick, cruel game the universe is playing with us. I really hope you can escape it because I know I sure as hell can’t. At least...not without your help...

Oh, you take all of the pain away...away, away-damnit, I thought I had it!

Am I...going insane? Am I remembering things that didn’t happen, thoughts that never existed? All of this is just so frustrating! Shit, do I need you so badly right now, if only to verify my own memories are real. I need you...need you to save me if I become my demons.

Speaking of demons, didn’t Shido confess...? A scandal like this would be all over the news, but there’s...nothing. I can barely contain my fury. Is the public really this foolish? I knew before that the judicial system had its corruption, but how can people be so complacent? They should be in an uproar!

So how the fuck have they not convicted him yet!?

—————

I wake up in confusion. How did I get here? Where was Shido’s palace and why was I not there? How am I alive? What happened regarding Shido? Did everything go according to your plan? Where are you? Why can’t I remember? Wait...do you even want me around?

This last question breaks through the fog that has become my memories. For the first time, I feel like I’m thinking clearly. I...don’t remember anything before our fight, but...I feel like I’m not going to forget anything anymore. I may not remember when I said I wanted you to take me high and I'll sing but now it’s not important, because oh you make everything okay. And for once, I truly mean it. You made my life feel like everything could be okay.

Okay, so why is everyone saying all the changes of heart were psychological disorders? That the Phantom Thieves...never existed? Bullshit!

We are one in the same. No one remembers us. Either that or no one seems to care.

I know you won’t let this hold you back. If there’s one thing I know about you, it’s that you take all of the pain away, away from your targets, away from me. And now you’ll have to save all of society from their inept laziness. I still need you to save me if I become someone I don’t want to be, but right now there are greater things at stake. Shido has to be brought down, and justice has to be served. Even if it spells my own downfall.

I’ve made up my mind. I’ll go find you tomorrow. Surely you wouldn’t turn me away on Christmas Eve...right? I just hope you won’t reject me before I become consumed by my demons.

Alright so the explanation behind this bullshit, and the reason it’s a bit...repetitive with each day. So in the game, if you’re paying enough attention they make it very clear that the victims of the psychotic breakdowns do not remember committing the crimes/actions that they did.

Now remember who ended up using that same power on himself during the fight against him.

I’d go more in depth than that, but that starts getting into even deeper spoilers for things I haven’t actually experienced in the game myself.

[raiseyourvoicetotherain]

Two Worlds Collide - a jatp fic

A Julie and the Phantoms one-shot, written for a Wattpad Halloween contest prompt (hence why I had to create the cover art). Bookmark on ao3 or Wattpad

Prompt:  "From the perspective of either the dead OR the living, tell a story of a pair of lovers between worlds, who are anxious to see one another again."

Words:  1968

It was pouring rain when Luke arrived at the house late in the afternoon. He went in the house, dropped off his sleeping girl with a brief hello to Ray, then went down to the studio.

When Luke opened the doors, the dust blew straight to him like fire looking for oxygen. It had only been a few months since he'd been down here, but he was clearly the last one to do so.

He stood just inside the door, his clothes dripping a pool of water onto the concrete, and looked around the room.

The piano was still covered in its protective sheet, and their instruments were tucked away up in the loft. Luke removed his soaking jacket and allowed himself to be wrapped in the memories he had in this room with Julie.

Sitting on the couch, Luke remembered the lazy Sundays they spent lying together, writing music and planning their future.

-

"What do you think of this?" Julie said, then sung out a new lyric.

She was lying across the couch with her head in his lap, her curls spread across his legs. Luke had a leg propped up on the table and his notebook leaning against his knee.

"Not one of your best," Luke said sarcastically.

Julie sat up and turned to face him. "Alright, and what have you come up with?"

Luke looked at his notebook and his heart began to race. He wanted the song to be finished, to be perfect, but he realised it didn't matter. He loved Julie and now felt like the perfect time.

He handed her the notebook and watched her face as he dug into his pocket.

When she looked up, her eyes were watery, and then when she saw the ring Luke was presenting to her, she put a hand to her face as she started to cry.

"Julie," was all he managed to say before she interrupted.

"Yes," she said quickly. "Yes, yes, yes." Leaning towards him, Julie took Luke's face in her hands and kissed him fiercely.

-

He looked back to the doorway, the exact spot they'd gotten married not so long ago.

Luke stood up and walked over to the piano where he pulled back the white sheet. He sat down and opened the lid before playing a few keys. It wasn't even out of tune.

Sitting at the piano was where Julie had collapsed for the first time. He didn't even have a chance to catch her, but after they found out she was sick, he always sat next to her when she played, ready to catch her if it happened again.

It seemed so unfair. It had only been ten years since the miracle that had brought him back, and it wasn't enough. They were supposed to have so much more time.

Luke looked up at the chairs still floating on the ceiling. Maybe she's a witch, he heard Reggie say in his head. The memory made him smile.

Every Halloween since they'd met, Julie had dressed up as a witch, just to mess with Reggie. Oh, how he wished she was here, putting on that costume tonight.

Pulling his guitar down from the loft, Luke opened the case with shaking hands. He hadn't touched it in so long, he wondered if he would still be able to play.

Just after sunset, Luke put the strap over his shoulder and put the guitar in tune.

"Please let this work," he said, looking up at nothing.

He started to play, the chords coming to him like second nature. He played the first thing that came to his head—his solo in 'Great'. It had brought her back to him once before, when he thought he'd lost his connection to her, maybe it could do it again.

-

In the days after Julie left, he'd looked everywhere for her.

They had been connected so deeply when he was dead that she could see him, and his greatest hope was that he'd be able to see her now. But she never came.

"Where are you?" he yelled to the empty studio after a week of searching for her. "If you're here, if you can hear me, Julie I need you. I can't do this without you."

Tears streamed down his face as he collapsed to his knees. When he felt a hand on his shoulder, he looked up with hope, but found Alex and Reggie instead.

"We know how badly you want to see her," Alex said sadly. "We miss her, too."

Then Reggie said, "But maybe she's moved on. Maybe she didn't have any unfinished business."

Luke got to his feet. "She can't be gone, I need her. How am I supposed to do this? I'm alone and I can't do this without her," he said again and he broke into sobs.

Alex pulled him into a tight, reassuring hug and let Luke cry. "You're not alone."

"We always have each other," Reggie added, putting his arms around the two of them.

-

It was Ray who had suggested he come out here tonight, and it was the only idea Luke had left. If he couldn't communicate with her on Halloween, then maybe Julie really was gone.

As he kept playing, kept waiting and hoping, he didn't see her anywhere. Eventually Luke stopped playing, ready to give up, and was pulling his guitar strap over his head when he heard it—one singular note played on the piano across the room.

At first he thought he imagined it, but then another note played. Luke put his guitar back on and started to match the notes. They got quicker and stronger and so did his playing.

"I believe, I believe," he began to sing, hoping it would help. As he sung, he thought he could see a flicker, but it was faint.

Then, as he sung the last line, she faded into view until he could see her perfectly. "'Cause we're standing on the edge... of... great." They finished playing the notes together and stared at each other for a moment. Then she smiled.

Luke walked straight for her, and she met him part way, where their lips collided.

"I didn't think it would work," she said through tears.

"Neither did I," he said, wiping her cheek with his thumb. He brought their lips together again, never wanting to let go of the way it felt to be kissing her after all these months.

"Luke, are you here?" they heard Ray call out. Luke turned to the doorway. "I'm sorry but she's awake and I can't get her to settle." Ray walked in holding an umbrella, with the little girl in his other arm.

Then Ray took in a sharp breath. "It worked," he said, looking between Luke and Julie.

Luke smiled. "Yeah."

"Rose?" Julie said, walking to her father, her eyes fixed on the baby in his arms. Ray handed her to Julie. "She's gotten so big."

Ray had tears in his eyes. "I've missed you so much, mija."

"Me too," Julie told him. "But I'm always around, I'm always here." She smiled reassuringly at him.

Ray pulled Julie close and kissed her forehead. "I'll leave you to it," he said. "I love you, sweetheart."

Ray took one last look at his beautiful girl and left. He had learned to move on a long time ago, and as much as he would treasure one last opportunity to see his daughter again, he knew he couldn't stay, or his heart may never heal. Luke was the one who needed this chance to see her again.

Julie said goodbye and sat on the couch with her daughter in her arms. Luke sat beside her and put his arm around her. This was how it was supposed to be, their little family, sitting together in the studio, singing music to their little miracle.

When Julie had gotten sick, Luke didn't even think about kids, but it was all Julie had ever wanted—to be a mum. They hadn't planned it, and it was risky with Julie so sick, but they were so lucky to have one last miracle before she'd had to leave them.

"Your dad has been very bad," Julie said to baby Rose. "He's supposed to be playing music to you."

Luke gave her a guilty look. "I'm sorry, it's been so hard. Even to come out here."

"I know," Julie said, looking at him. "But music is the only thing I had to leave behind, for the both of you. I don't want you to ever lose that."

"No music is worth making..." Luke started to say.

"Yes it is," Julie interrupted. "It is with her. Teach her, show her what we made together. I nearly lost it after my mum died, and if it wasn't for you, I may never have gotten it back. I never would have been the same. So, please, don't lose your music."

Luke played with a single curl of her hair in his hand. Playing music without Julie had felt hopeless for so long. He watched Rose smile as Julie bounced her on her knee and he knew his wife was right, he needed to hold onto music so he could pass it on to their daughter.

The three of them spent all night together, playing music to the backdrop of pouring rain and rolling thunder.

The storm passed just before daybreak. Rose was asleep on the couch next to Luke, who was playing guitar while Julie sat and played at the piano.

When they saw light start to filter in, Luke realised what it meant and he looked to Julie. "I'm not ready," he whispered.

He put the guitar down and stood up, and Julie put her hands in his in the middle of the room.

"I know," Julie whispered back. She looked through the window where the sky was beginning to filter orange. "Something's different," she told him curiously.

His grip on her hands tightened a little when Julie took a sharp intake of breath.

Turning back to Luke, she said, "I can hear my mum, she's singing to me."

Luke eyebrows creased together. "What does that mean?"

"I think this is it," Julie said, turning back and forth between Luke and the window until her eyes settled on him. "I don't think I can stay here anymore."

"No," Luke said, shaking his head as he held back tears. "You can't go, not now."

Julie took his face in her hands. "It's okay. You're gonna be okay." She looked to the couch where Rose was still sleeping, then back to her love. "I'll still be watching over you, I promise."

He rested his forehead on hers as he tried to hold back his tears.

"Will you do one last thing for me?" Julie whispered.

"Anything, Julie, you know that," he said, for what he realised would be the last time.

"Sing for me."

After taking a deep breath, Luke sang the first thing he could think of. "Step into my world, bitter sweet love story 'bout a girl."

Julie smiled through her tears as he sung to her, and when it was her turn to join him, he took her in his arms and danced around the studio with her.

"Two worlds collide when I'm with you."

That's what they'd always been, Luke realised. Two worlds colliding, but never destined to stay together. So he committed every moment of this dance to memory as they continued to sing.

"You're more to me," Julie sung as Luke wrapped his arms around her one last time.

"We create," he sung back to her.

"The perfect harmony."

He spun her away from him and watched as the sunlight broke through the window and consumed her.

Then she was gone.

[yellowmagicalgirl]

Fic Writer Tag Game

I was tagged by @eurazba​, @im-the-king-of-the-ocean​, and @rockymountainvixen​

Fandoms: I’ve written and published for (on ao3 and ffn at least)  Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir, Tai Chi Chasers/태극천자문, Sailor Moon, Puella Magi Madoka Magica/魔法少女まどか★マギカ, iZombie, Harry Potter, Voltron: Legendary Defender, Tales of Arcadia, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, RWBY, Utena, Enola Holmes Mysteries, Pretty Cure, and TAZ: Graduation.

Where you post: FFN and AO3

Most popular multi-chapter fic: On FFN it’s either Supplanter (top review and fave count) or D'un Chat Noir à Un Autre (top view and alert count). On AO3 it’s either Birds, Bees, and Blood Magic (top subscription, hit, and bookmark count) which I wrote with @tunafishprincess​, Supplanter again (top kudos count), or Once and Maybe Future (top comment count). Overall, I’d say Supplanter is my most popular across all sites.

Favorite story you’ve written so far: Hmm, I’d have to say either Destiny's Pawn, Every Ghost in Me, Juliet Dies in This, or Cast Away Your True Love's Kiss. They were certainly rather self-indulgent (I mean, one of them was also written for a tumblr prompt but I’m glad I actually wrote my weird AU instead of something more generic) and therefore in many ways fun to write. In addition, these are also accomplishments for me, being my four longest fics on AO3. (If you go to FFN you’ll see that Once and Maybe Future and With the Distance Amplified are stated as longer than Cast Away Your True Love's Kiss, but those are multichaps with authors’ notes in each chapter and thus the word count is changed. Plus the 3rd chapter of With the Distance Amplified is an apology and an outline.)

Fic you were nervous to post: the last scattered petals was definitely one since I was writing a whumptober fic that was very clearly tagged for character death and body horror for the PreCure fandom (while also mentioning that the fic was mildly inspired by PMMM) and I’ve received (now deleted) flames for that fic. People, do we need to bring back writing “Don’t Like Don’t Read No Flames XD” in our summaries 🙄

Similarly, I posted (the garrote killing me is made of your) heartstrings, Miracles and Magic Do Exist!, Who Run the World?, and With the Distance Amplified with trepidation bc of antis who disliked the ships I was writing for. Thankfully, I never received any hate for the ships of any of those fics, though someone did get mad that I used a phase along the lines of “this takes place a couple months after the Galra Keith reveal” even though the fic was written prior to season 2 making Galra Keith canon. However, this trepidation was one of the many things that caused me to never finish writing With the Distance Amplified.

How you choose your titles: I have a tendency to look up the lyrics of songs I like (and think fit the fic) and pick from the lyrics.

Do you outline: Sort of. I will bold and bracket brief descriptions of things that are supposed to happen in oneshots. I also outline multichaps that aren’t just oneshot collections, but they can look very different from each other.

The outlines to Juliet Dies/Survives In This are very much bullet points with sub-bullets because they’re 5+1/5 things fics. Here’s the entire outline for Juliet Dies in This ; the Juliet Survives in This outline is more detailed but I’m not posting it bc not only is it very dark it also contains a plot twist I refuse to spoil.

Here’s a snippet from the outline for my current longest fic, Destiny's Pawn. I made a copy of it for my own use and then wrote directly on the non-copy, deleting the bolded lines as I went. (The copy was made before Zoe’s name was known.) I used D and K at the beginning of the line to determine which POV was being used. I feel like this snippet also displays how much better I am at coming up with angst scenes than fluff scenes. I had concrete ideas for the angstier scenes, so I wrote a lot about them in the outline. Meanwhile, I was scrambling to figure out how to write cute romantic fluff scenes bc I had decided to leave that work for later in my outline.

Here is a snippet from a oneshot I’m writing, to show how I outline oneshots when I use Fighter’s Block for my writing

Here is a snippet from the outline for the Cagemates AU; I feel like this one is the most formal style of outline. Then again, it’s also gonna be rather long.

Complete: On AO3 86 bc I write a lot of oneshots. I am not going to go back and count all the complete works on FFN bc that’s a pain to sort.

In progress: Technically there’s a chapter of Once and Maybe Future that I’m working on and might just split into two chapters. Also, Juliet Survives in This, the oneshot I showed a snippet of, and a Secret Santa fic.

Coming soon/not yet started: The Cagemates AU is only an outline.

Do you accept prompts: If I reblog a meme asking for prompts then yes. Also, I guess I might take prompts if anyone were to ever actually send me asks but I can’t promise I will write them.

Upcoming story you are most excited to write: Uhhhh honestly I’m excited to write most of them.

I’m tagging @tunafishprincess​, @stellarcat52​, @phoenixyfriend​​, @nebulousneko​, @infographicphenomenon​, and any other writer friends who haven’t been tagged yet. Your participation is optional.