#i’ve been trying to summon the guts to go to lunch with him

[butiknowiloatheyou]

i was listening to bullets and early sunsets came on and now i’m fucking crying

[bunnys-beetlejuice-blog]

bangs pots and pans together loudly FIC UPDATE COME GET YALL SOME JUICE

Apparently the vital, missing component to enjoying school was having a friend there. Go figure.

He and Kevin only have that first period class together, but they make the most of it, passing notes back and forth between the two of them, the teacher too tired that early in the morning to notice, or care. Lunch isn’t depressing anymore. They sit together under the shade tree, and Kevin does seem to also appreciate the view. “Can you even imagine working up a sweat, on purpose?” Betelgeuse pats his gut. “You know I can’t.”

“I can’t believe how little the track shorts are. That’s obscene. You think I’d look good in them?” “You join track and I’ll come to every meet, an’ it won’t be for th’ love of th’ sport.” He doesn’t think normal friends talk to each other like this, but he doesn’t actually know. Does everyone flirt with their friends? Are friends just cool people you wanna fuck but haven’t yet? Is it demon hormone bullshit, making him read into everything? Unclear.

It’s all going so good, until it isn’t, suddenly.

One lunch, two months into being there, Kevin pulls a huge and impressive old book from his backpack. “Look what I goooot,” he sing songs, waving it in Betelgeuse’s face, and he sneezes in response. “Smells old.” Emily and Lydia would love it. “It is. It’s very old,” Kevin confirms, and he moves so he’s sitting next to Betelgeuse, shoulder to shoulder, both their backs to the shade tree. “It’s about demons.”

Betelgeuse loses interest immediately, and focuses on not going pink at their shoulders touching, instead. “Z’at so?” he grunts. Kevin doesn’t seem to pick up on his moodiness, though. “It talks about all these ancient beings,” he explains, flipping pages. “Their summoning circles, their aspects,” he gives Betelgeuse a nudge at that, “all the things they can do for you, and the boons they grant.” He feels uncomfortable. “What’s with this? You obsessed with me, or somethin’?” He tries to play it as a joke, but that glint in Kevin’s eyes is back, and he doesn’t like it. “Of course, who wouldn’t be obsessed if they learned all this shit is actually true? It’s like there’s a whole secret world behind a locked door, and I’ve got the key.” Kevin looks back up at him.

He gets the feeling he’s the key. It’s not a good feeling.

“Where’d you even get this fuckin’ thing?” he lifts a finger, and the book slams closed in Kevin’s lap. His friend huffs. “Internet, of course.” “No, I mean… why were you lookin’ for somethin’ like this?” “I want to learn more. Don’t you?” Kev presses, and reopens the book. “I mean, what if there’s something amazing you can do, and you just don’t know, cause you’re not bothering to try?”

“So I’ll never know, so what?” Betelgeuse feels like this is a losing argument, but he tries anyways. “What’s so great about bein’ weird? You’re lucky you’re human.” “Dude, don’t even start with that. You can fly.” “So can humans,” he points out. “Wh- A plane and fucking levitating for fun are not the same, and you know it, BeetleJerk.” Kevin honestly can’t understand why he’s not excited over this. “I just mean… I’d rather be human, than this.” He blinks at his own words, because he’s never expressed that out loud before, ever. But it doesn’t feel untrue. “You’re out of your mind, more so than usual. Every human alive wants to feel special, and do the stuff you can do. Why are you acting like it’s so miserable all of a sudden? You use your powers all the time, I’ve seen you literally teleport five feet because you’re too lazy to walk.”

“You don’t get it.” He’s feeling sullen now, and he wiggles a little away from Kevin, and crosses his arms. “BJ, come on-” Betelgeuse teleports away to under the bleachers, and he eats his lunch there, until the bell rings.

He’s waiting for Emily after school, not feeling particularly friendly, when Kevin approaches. They stand there awkwardly. It feels tense, and weird, and he waits to see what the breather does. “Don’t be mad,” Kevin says, finally. “M’not mad.” “You sound mad.” “You know what mad on me looks like,” he finally turns to look at his friend, amber eyes burning with irritation. “First hand.”

Kevin looks down, and kicks at a rock that might not actually be there. “I thought you’d be excited. BJ, come on, I don’t wanna.. Not be friends over this.”

Betelgeuse signs, and scratches at the scruff on his chin. “It’s not like that,” he relents after a moment. “I just, I don’t care about that stuff. An’ I don’t wanna sit around, focusin’ on it. I don’t exactly like feelin’ different. Yeah, I do tricks an’ use my magic an’ stuff, but it’s hard to control. I lose my temper once an’ I could seriously destroy somethin’, or hurt my family. It doesn’t exactly feel good, knowin’ that. No one else my age can stand me, cause they can tell I’m weird. Before you, it was fuckin’ lonely, Kev.”

He feels a familiar pressure, because Kevin has taken his hand, and the human gives it a squeeze. He accepts it, melting a little against the other boy. “Still friends?” Kevin asks, and Betelgeuse purrs in response, resting his head on Kevin’s shoulder.

It’s not till later, at home, that he realizes Kevin never actually apologized.

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It’s like that, for a while. He knows Kevin still has the book. He knows he’s reading it, and sometimes Kevin will bring up demon stuff, but Betelgeuse has almost exactly a minute and a half of patience for answering questions or hearing about it. Still, Kev doesn’t stop. He might feel angrier if the breather wasn’t so god damn cute.

The air is starting to go cold, and leaves are beginning to fall. October is settling in, getting comfortable, and mom’s starting to break out the Halloween décor. It’s the middle of a kind of gloomy, Autumn day, when things get weird.

Kevin has the book open, much to Betelgeuse’s annoyance, and he’s blabbing away about a demon that supposedly grants wealth- “Do you think you could do that?” -when Betelgeuse looks down at the book, and sees Juno looking back at him. It’s not really her, it’s an illustration, but he’d recognize the bitch anywhere. She’s ink, glaring up from the page, those same age lines etched into her face, confirming his private theory that she’d been an old hag even when she was young. The slit neck is prominent, and as he stares, he sees smoke billow out of it. Oh, fuck no.

He grabs the book and slams it shut, startling Kevin, and then he teleports it directly under them, a mile down in the rock of the earth. Kev blinks for a moment, confused, before looking at his friend. “Wh.. Dude, WHAT?”

“Possessed book,” he croaks out, feeling tense, because he can smell cigarette smoke. “And you’re afraid of it? Why? You are also a literal fucking demon!” “That’s why I’m not messin’ with it!” Betelgeuse stands up, uneasy. The ground around the tree feels weird, now. He doesn’t like it here anymore. “Cause I actually understand why it’s a bad fuckin’ idea! God, you should have instincts that tell you not to mess with this stuff! You’re deficient, Kev, seriously.”

“Me deficient? Seriously?” Kev snaps, which hurts in a new, unexpected way. “Whatever, asshole. Give me my book back.” Kevin stands up, too, but he’s not uneasy, he’s angry.

“It’s better off where it is.”

“Which is where?”

Betelgeuse glances down. The grass around the tree is starting to wither. Kevin follows his gaze, but doesn’t seem to notice the dying vegetation. “You buried it? Come on!”

“Leave it, Kev.”

“This isn’t just your cool secret, anymore, it’s mine too!” Kevin glares at him. “You can’t keep me out of it, BJ. That’s not fair. God, at this point, I know more than you! You should be listening to me!”

He feels his volatile temper flare.

“Ex-fuckin’-scuze me?”

He waits for Kevin to take it back. Instead, his friend doubles down. “Demons have to listen to humans,” Kevin crosses his arms. “If they’re summoned. It’s in the book.” “Nobody summoned me,” Betelgeuse snarls, letting his real snake eyes show, an intimidation tactic that works for about half a second. Kevin’s too used to him, at this point. “I’m up here on a deal.” “Bet I could do it. I bet I could summon you. Then you’d have to listen to me.” “Yeah? Well, good luck without your stupid book!” He storms off, leaving Kevin standing there.

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The rest of the day sucks. He’s moody all day, annoyed in the car, grumpy in his room. He cranks metal and wishes he’d learned to play a guitar instead of his rinky, happy sounding ukulele. The instrument isn’t going to produce the noise he wants to express himself, right now. He throws it across the room, into a wall, where it smashes, and reforms a minute later, because… it’s still his favorite, after all. Even if it’s no good for expressing his teenage angst.

He can hear shuffling, and talking, outside his room, though he can’t make out what’s being said over the music. After a moment, though, there’s a knock at his door. “Hey, Bug?” Emily calls. “Can you come give me a hand with something?” He wants to tell her to piss off, go away, to leave him the hell alone, but.. It’s Emily. The CD player lets out a strangled choke and suddenly stops, and the door swings open, all without him moving from his flopped position on the bed. “Sup, ma?” he grunts. Emily peaks her head into the room, and smiles when she sees him, the expression radiating warmth and adoration and.. Oh, God/Satan, bless his sunbeam of a mother. “Just wondering if you’re free to do a little decorating?” She reaches behind her and grabs a fake severed bloody limb from the box he assumes she’s dragged into the hallway from the attic. “Don’t you worry it takes away from the “wow factor” to do Halloween twice a year?” He asks, standing and stretching, before apparating in the hallway behind her, and giving the decor box a nudge with his boot. “What? No way, there’s never enough Halloween!” Emily grins. “Get that, please.” The box floats along behind him as they head downstairs. They pause in the entryway, as Emily thinks out loud. “So, maybe the kitchen should be-” “Functional as a kitchen, please,” Charles calls from the living room. Emily rolls her eyes. “Okay, fine! Spoilsport! We’ll focus on the entryway for now,” she decides. “You wanna put up cobwebs in the rafters?” She gets on tiptoes to reach into the floating box, and he lowers it a bit for her, as she grabs the fake webbing. “I could just instantly decorate the whole room,” He takes to floating next to the box. “Could make sure it’s all normal human stuff, too,” He adds, before she can respond. “I know you can… But I like decorating,” Emily says brightly. “It’s not about getting it done quickly. It’s about, you know, doing it together.” “So why are dad and Lydia slacking?” Her smile doesn’t falter, but becomes softer. “It kinda felt like you needed some mom time, today,” She says simply. God, she can read him easier than Kev can read his stupid book. “We got in a fight,” he admits. She hums at that, because he only has one friend. It’s not hard to guess who he could possibly mean. “I’m sorry, Bug. What over?” He hesitates. So far he’s not let any of his family in on this book business. He’s been sort of hoping it could just go away on it’s own, and not be a thing. Kevin’s made it into a thing, though, and not telling even his mom feels… bad.

“He’s really into demons. Like, really, really into em,” He rasps, floating up and beginning to put up the spiderwebs, as his mother takes down the usual, sort of spooky wall hangings and trades them for her very intentionally spooky Halloween ones. “He’s got this book, an’ it’s all about demons an’ like, how to summon them, an’ their powers, an’ stuff… Sometimes th’ way he talks, it’s like.. Are we friends cause we’re friends, or friends cause you think I’m gonna be... useful?”

Maybe that doesn't make any sense, but that’s how it’s been feeling, like there’s an invisible shoe hanging midair, and it’s about to drop. His mother waits until he’s finished before looking up at him. “And you fought over that?” She prods. “Not exactly.” How the fuck can she even tell that, though? Damn her mom powers. He really, really didn’t want to talk about this, not to her, but… “I saw Juno. In th’ book,'' He lowers back down to the floor, and digs through the box, pulling out fake body parts. Back up he goes, to stick these in the fake webbing. “It was just a drawing of her, but it started like.. Billowing smoke-”

“From the neck,” His mother remembers, suppressing a shudder.

“Yeah. I could smell the smoke. So I got rid of the book, buried it in th’ school yard, but Kev got all pissy about it. He thinks he’s an expert on this shit, an’ he’s gonna mess with somethin’ big if he keeps this up.” “I’m sure you’ve told him that.” “He doesn’t listen. He gets this look in his eye, like it’s a game, or like… I dunno. Feels sometimes like he thinks he’s…” He searches for the words. “Like he thinks he oughta be the boss a’me, or somethin’.”

He rubs absentmindedly at the moss on his nose. It clings, stubborn as ever, same with the patches by his hairline, and he’s found it’s easier to just add another little layer to his glamour than try to do anything about it.

Maybe that’s indicative of a bigger problem. It’s easier to do a bit of magic and make everything look better than to actually fix the underlying problem. Ugh, introspection, how absolutely miserable. He wants to keep thoughts like that locked away tight, but they have a habit of slipping past his mental defenses and making him feel worse. Absolutely no one can make him feel shittier than he himself can. He sinks to the ground, going purple, and he’s instantly wrapped in his mother’s arms. “It’s okay, Beetlejuice,” Emily has both her hands on the back of his head, and he pushes his face into the crook of her neck. “I just.. I’ve only got the one friend,” he groans. “I don’t wanna stop bein’ his friend, but.. Fuck, ma.”

“I know.” Her voice is a soothing balm. She works her hands through the mess of purple hair at the back of his head. “I know, sweetheart. I know it’s lonely at school, but school isn’t forever,” she tries to assure him. “If your friend is treating you this way, well.. He’s not a very good friend. Do you want to be around someone who makes you feel this bad? Does it feel worth it, to you?”

He knows the correct answer is, “No,” but he’s not sure if his self esteem is high enough for that.

“I like him a lot,” He grumbles, and she hums again. “He’s handsome,” She says, and then pulls back far enough to pinch his nose. “But not as handsome as my son, of course,” and it’s silly enough to help knock away his mood, so that’s something, at least. “What should I do?” He doesn’t pull away from her, just soaks up the mom energy for as long as he can. “I think you need to have a talk,” Emily tells him. “Lay out how you’re feeling. Try to get his side of things, and make sure he hears your side, too. Then, at least you both tried, you know?”

It’s such a mom type answer. He groans again.

“I was worried you’d say some shit like that.” She fuzzes his hair, and he feels the tingle in his scalp that means it’s changed colors. Back to green, he assumes. “You know your moss changes color along with your hair? And your creepo-stache?” “Leave the stache alone, it’s tryin’ it’s best,” He pretends to be defensive.

“It makes you look like the founder of a forum for people who marry their cars,” Lydia offers, from the bottom step of the staircase, where she has apparently been just chilling and listening.

“Wh-! Mom, it’s not that bad, right?” Emily tilts her head to the side and gives what can only be described as a condescending smile. “Oh, you’re both in for it now.” He brings the various decor items to life to terrorize them, and then Charles joins his side, sympathizing with his son vis-à-vis bad teenage facial hair, and by the time the whole squabble is over, hardly any decorating has gotten done… But he does feel better. His family’s good like that.

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Monday rolls around, same as it always does, but there’s a weird feeling in the air. Halloween is a week away, barely missing getting a weekend date, but there’s some big Halloween bash the school is apparently throwing. There’s fliers for it everywhere, plastered all over lockers and bulletin boards. He’s not much of a participator, though, and his reaction to his locker being plastered over with invites to a party he doesn't care about is to snap his fingers. All the fliers on all the lockers up and down the hall, all instantly fall loose at once, littering the floor. A few students jump back, but no one looks his way, because why would they?

He’s grabbing his history textbook when he feels a tap on the shoulder, and when he turns, it’s a girl he recognizes, but her name is absolutely lost on him.

“You’re BJ, right?” Miffy askes, and he nods. “Yeah, s’right,” and Margo seems to wince at how gruff his voice is, before continuing. “Um, you and that guy Kevin, you’re like…” Milicent trails off, waiting for him to finish her thought, but sorry, baby, he can barely finish his own. “Like…?” He says, with his gravel voice copying her tone and inflection, and she huffs. “Together?” Marge asks, “Like, all of the time?”

He cocks his head, and squints at her, hands t-rexing at his sides, as Lydia likes to say.\

“Usually,” He concedes, and he gets the feeling he’s dragging this out much, much more than Mango clearly wants, because he spies a group of girls a little ways off, waiting for her. One of them is staring intently, more focused on him, but he pushes that thought aside.

“Look, okay, he’s gonna be out for a few days, and I’m just trying to see if you can take him his homework,” McGrubber has grown tired of having to stand here, talking to the chubby goth loser, apparently. “I’m a student aid in the office and they’re trying to make me do it, but I have track practice!” Thaaaat’s where he knows her from. She looks different, not bouncing and sweating and also not half a football field away. “Sure, fine, I’ll make sure Kev gets his work. Wouldn’t want you to miss out on running in a fuckin’ circle, Maria.” Her face sours. “It’s Blair.” So close. “Who fuckin’ cares,” He replies, and turns back to his locker. He can hear her rejoin her friend group, all of them fawning over her harrowing experience of having to speak to him in public. The last thing he hears from Blair is, “He’s just so goddamn weird,” and then the group rounds the corner.

He closes his locker harder than he maybe needs to.

Kevin isn’t in class that day, or the next, or even the one after. The shade tree has withered and died completely, it’s color sapped and gone, and even walking near it makes him feel uneasy. His new lonely lunch spot is under the bleachers, which feels even more voyeuristic of a spot to watch the track team, but even that activity feels tainted, somehow. He’s back to being lonely.

He can’t stand being lonely.

It gets so bad he contemplates sitting, wait for it, on the bleachers, and maybe even trying to strike up a conversation, but he’s too chicken shit. He’s been going to school with these kids for the past three years, and no one’s wanted to talk to him or chat with him in all that time. He can’t imagine that’s about to change.

Still, on Thursday, miserable and lonely, he gives it a try.

Sitting up here sucks. It’s just a hard metal seat on a gloomy day, and when he’d ventured up and sat down, other people had slowly moved away from him, until he was sitting by himself, all the breathers huddled in a different area, away from him. He'd tried talking, but hardly had a "Hey, how ya doin'?" grated out before the migration began.

Figures.

He finishes eating and lies on his back, resting his hands on his chest, eyes closed, and after a while he feels someone standing over him, and something laid over his hands. He opens his eyes. There’s the most beautiful girl staring down at him. She’s got long, bleach blonde hair, darker at the roots, which is hanging down in a halo around her face, and the biggest, clearest blue eyes he’s ever seen. He glances down, to see she’s placed a daisy over his hand. He looks back up at her, amber eyes questioning.

“You looked so still,” She smiles. Her voice is like music. He thinks he can hear harps. “With your hands folded like that. Kind of like an open casket.” He’d been forgetting to breathe, apparently, which happens sometimes. She thought he looked like a corpse, and she placed a flower over him.

“Sorry, if that’s weird. You’re.. BJ?” She asks, and he picks up the daisy, sits up, and nods. “Yeah, you’re…” “Barbara,” she fills him in. “You’re not so good with names.” “Mmm. Buffy tell you that?” He recognizes her now, from that group of girls. Barbara sits next to him, which makes zero sense. “It’s Blair,” she corrects him gently, but not without a giggle in her voice. “Oh, right.” Her name could be fuckin’ Moonpie and it’d make the same amount of difference to him, but he’d agree with anything Barbara said, if it meant she kept sitting there, talking to him. “Are you going to the Halloween party?” She asks. “Supposed to be pretty killer. It kind of seems like your scene.” “I’m not exactly a social butterfly,” which is the understatement of the god damn century, honestly, but she laughs and nudges her shoulder with his. “Well, I think you should come. I bet you’d have the coolest costume. Maybe think about it?”

“I guess, maybe..” He says lamely, because his brain is short circuiting from that small touch.

“Barb, come on!” someone calls to her from a ways away, on the track. Lunch is nearly over. She stands, and smooths down the long skirt she’s wearing, which is modest but flattering. “Later, BJ,” she smiles, and just like that, she’s gone, like an angel going back up to heaven in a beam of light, off to rejoin her friends. He can hear what she says to them, though. “You guys are mean, he’s not so bad. Just shy.”

He keeps the daisy in a little glass of water on his dresser, and strums love songs on his ukulele.

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Thinking about Barbara and her smile and the way she nudged him is a fun distraction, at least for a little while, but when it’s Saturday, and he still hasn’t heard from Kevin, he decides it’s time to demon up and see what the fuck is happening with him. He’s been just teleporting Kev’s homework inside his room, and he’s sure it’s falling into a pile on the floor each time and startling him, but no one ever said how he had to deliver it. Today though, emboldened by the pretty girl on the bleachers, he appears at Kevin’s front door instead, holding Friday’s work, and he knocks. It takes a moment, but Mr. Loh answers.

Betelgeuse hasn’t had much chance to interact with Kev’s dad. He looks like a normal, tired dad, wholly unimpressive, and kinda short. Chuck could wrestle this guy to the mat, no problem.

“Oh, BJ,” Mr. Loh says, and then glances at what’s in his hands. “Kevin’s homework? Thank you. He’s holed up in his room… won’t come out.. Maybe,” and he suddenly looks hopeful. “You two are friends. Maybe you can try talking to him?”

Well, that’s what he was there to do anyways, so sure. “I gotcha, Mr. L,” he nods, stepping inside, and heading up the stairs and down the hall to Kevin’s room. The closer he gets to the door, though, the weirder he feels. Something stinks, figuratively and literally. It smells like… It smells like the waiting room. It’s that same, veil is thin type air that he can smell on Halloween night, but how the fuck is he smelling it here? He bangs on Kevin’s door. “Hey, Kev, it’s the B-Man,” he calls, trying to keep his tone playful, but he feels like he’s doing a poor job. What the hell is going on? “Come on, man, open up!” He tries again, when he receives no response. He thinks he can hear a shuffle behind the door. “Dude, I will bust this fuckin’ door down,” He growls, all the play gone from his tone. “You know I will. Better yet-”

He appears inside the bedroom, just in time for Kevin to slam shut the closet door. Kevin turns to look at him, back pressed to the wood. There’s a beat, both teens staring at each other, wide eyed, Betelgeuse in that weird way he does, and Kevin looking frazzled. “What,” the demon grates out, “the fuck, are you getting up to in here? It smells like the netherworld, Kev.” Unfortunately, that makes Kevin’s face light up. “It does? Oh my god, that’s perfect! It must be starting to work!” He crosses the bedroom, going to his desk, where an old book is sitting open. It’s not the same one he took from his friend, it can’t be, that book is still a mile down in presumably solid rock. “Another musty ass tome, great,” he growls, but Kevin ignores him, flipping through the book.

He hates feeling ignored.

A black and white striped arm sprouts from Kevin’s desk, and slams the book shut, which makes the breather turn and glare at him. “Get out of my room, BJ,” is all Kevin says, and Betelgeuse ignores that, instead crossing the floor to get a look at that book. “Where th’ hell do you keep finding these fuckin’ things?”

“This one I bought from a one armed man living out of a 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88 Royale,” Kevin recites. Betelgeuse squints at him, top teeth over bottom lip. “You’re too gay to know what that means,” he says, plainly, and Kevin shrugs. “He wouldn’t stop talking about his stupid car. I now know more about that antique than I know about geography.” It feels fun, for a second, like this drama isn’t happening, and they’re just having a conversation. It doesn’t last, though. He can’t let Kev off the hook.

“So you bought a second cursed book, this time from some amputee homeless guy, and you’re just, doing the rituals inside of it? And this seems like a super good idea to you?”

“I’m practicing,” Kevin replies.

“So what’s in the closet, Kevin?”

“Get out of my room, Betelgeuse.”

The way Kevin says his name is weird. It doesn’t feel like how it normally feels when a breather says the full thing. He shakes it off, and gives his friend a defiant look, before waving a hand and throwing open the closet door. There’s a cleared spot, in the middle of the closet floor, and a fucking summoning circle in what smells like, “Pig’s blood? Couldn’t get human?” He turns to look at Kevin, who is glaring at him intently. He matches the look.

“Betelgeuse Shoggoth, get out of my room.”

That gets his attention. It feels like an invisible hand is pushing him, and he stumbles back out of the room, confused. “W-what?” Kevin is just standing there, staring at him, and Betelgeuse stares back, eyes wild. “You motherfucker,” he hisses, eyes in snake slits, teeth sharp, claws extended. “You wanna do that “real name” bullshit with me? That the choice you’re makin’ here, Kev?”

Kevin doesn’t even look phased. “I’m working on gaining a bit more control, but looks like that works, for now.”

“You’re cracked!” Betelgeuse growls, absolutely furious. “You’re really tryin’ to summon me? Are you out of your head!?”

“You’re wasting your powers,” Kevin storms forward. “You’re a supernatural being, and you go to school and play your stupid ukulele, and don’t even try to do anything bigger. You could be stepping on everyone under you,” his former friend is going red in the face. “You could be leading, you could be ruling, but you just jerk off in your room and play pretend at being human. But someone might as well profit, here. Why not me?”

“I thought.. I thought we were friends,” is all the demon can say, lamely, and Kevin’s smile is the meanest thing he’s ever seen on a breather. “Once you’re fully listening to me, we can be friends again. Betelgeuse Shoggoth, get out of my house.”

He feels that same invisible pull, and he thinks maybe if he was stronger he could resist it, but a demon’s true name is like a lead on a dog, meant to control them, and unfortunately, Kevin has a tight hand on his leash. He makes it to the front door, and stumbles out, covering his face until he can calm himself enough to reapply his glamour.

Shit, he thinks, straightening up, and staring up at Kevin’s bedroom window. He is so fucked. ``````````````````````````````````````````````` Posted this chapter and another over at Ao3. You can read it right here

[rubysunnday]

any bonnie x shelby sis? I've been seeing it a lot lately and tI just love the idea so much like hduehuehdueh and especially with your writing it would be so amazing! :) love your work

You walked over to your desk and froze. Slowly, you set your keys down and began taking your scarf off.

“Who sent me flowers?”

The questions was directed at no one in particular but it was Esme who answered.

“No idea, they were here when I got in,” she replied, joining you and looking at the beautiful bouquet of lilies, violets and peonies.

“Is there a card?”

Esme shook her head. “Not that I saw. Maybe you’ve got a secret admirer,” she sang and you shoved her away, chuckling.

“Nah, fuck off, who’d want to admire me?”

You moved the flowers to the edge of your desk and sat down, pulling out the first pile of paperwork and began getting to work.

Tommy had finally relented and allowed you to work for him a year ago. He was still stupidly over – protective and refused to let you anywhere near anything dangerous, but you enjoyed the work. It allowed you to see more of your brothers and it gave you something to do.

Bonnie Gold had arrived into your life shortly after the black hand messages arrived. It’d been a whirlwind of emotions – you’d spent most of that time in the hospital with John and Michael – and Bonnie had been someone you’d come to rely on during that rocky time.

You were completely oblivious to Bonnie’s many attempts to woo you - much to everyone else’s amusement. He tried and tried but nothing seemed to make you realise that he liked you.

So, there you were, scribbling away at the paperwork when someone set something down on your desk. You looked up and frowned.

“Another one?” You exclaimed, staring at the basket of tulips in front of you.

Ada, who had put them on your desk, shrugged. “Someone handed them to me and said they were for you.”

“For the love of god,” you muttered. “Thanks, Ada.”

Things calmed down for the rest of the morning and there were no more mysterious flower deliveries.

You rolled your eyes at the flowers as you got up and headed to Tommy’s office, knocking on the door and waiting for him to call you in.

“Enter!”

“Hey, Tom,” you said, giving him and his brothers a smile. “I’ve finished this lost for you.”

“Thanks, y/n,” Tommy replied, giving you a rare genuine smile.

You turned to go but paused. “I don’t suppose any of you know who’s been sending me flowers?” You asked, looking between the boys who were like family to you.

“Nope,” John said, shrugging.

“Looks like you’ve got secret admirer,” Arthur teased, raising an eyebrow and you rolled your eyes.

“As if,” you replied, walking out the room, oblivious to the knowing looks the boys were giving each other.

/

The next morning, you were extremely flustered. You’d gotten back late from the Garrison after Finn had forced you out and had slept through your alarm. That meant you’d missed the chance for Polly to give you a lift and you’d then missed the bus that dropped off near the shop.

Never before had you been so grateful that Michael drove past your house every morning and had time to pick you up.

“I’m so tired,” you yawned as you and Michael walked down the road a bit to the shop door.

“Do you really need two jobs?” He asked as you opened the door.

“It’s money -“

You stopped talking, frozen in the doorway as you took in your desk.

“Oh, seriously?!” You exclaimed, roughly untying your scarf and throwing it over the coat stand as you took in the fact that your desk was covered in bouquets of flowers.

“They were here when I get in,” Tommy said, raising his hands up in surrender. “No one saw anyone come in either.”

“For fuck’s sake,” you muttered, stepping over the ones on the floor to get to your seat.

“Here,” Finn said, helping you take all the flowers of the desk. He tried to hide his smirk as he did so, but you noticed, smacking him around the head.

“This is not funny,” you hissed, glaring at him.

“No, because it’s totally normal for someone to receive dozens of anonymous flowers in one day,” he replied. You just glared at him and he quickly skulked away back to his desk.

You focused yourself entirely on your work for the next few hours, ignoring the flowers around you.

“Hey, y/n,” Arthur called, tapping your shoulder.

Your head shot up and he gave you a smile wave. “What?”

“Lunch, my treat,” he offered, and you frowned. “No tricks, just some decent lunch. I know you didn’t get home until stupidly late last night.”

“That was my stupid twin brother’s fault,” you grumbled. But, you relented, suddenly aware of how hungry you were. “Yeah, ok,” you sighed, standing up for the first time in hours. “I could do with some lunch.”

The two of you went down to the bakery around the corner from the Garrison, ordering warm sausage rolls and freshly cooked biscuits.

You returned to the shop with a smile on your face. Until you saw even more flowers decorating not only your desk but Esme and Lizzie’s too.

“For the love of god!” You yelled, staring at them all. You groaned and stormed into Tommy’s office, not caring that he was having a meeting.

“Alright, which one of you have been sending me flowers?” You glared are them all.

“Well, I’ve not got any money, so it isn’t me,” Finn replied, and Isaiah nodded.

“Me neither,” Isaiah replied, shrugging.

“It’s not me either,” John added, raising his hands up in a meek attempt at surrender.

“Nor is it me or Arthur,” Tommy said, leaning back in his chair.

“Then who is -“

All five of the rooms occupants stared at you in confusion as you cut yourself off and stared at nothing in particular.

“Y/N, you alright?” John asked, looking at you worriedly.

“ABARAMA!” You yelled, storming out of the office. “I’m going to fucking murder your son!”

Finn snickered under his breath as the front door slammed shut. “Now she realises.”

“Only took forty bouquets of flowers,” Isaiah added, and Finn laughed.

“What are you two on about?” Tommy asked tiredly.

“Bonnie has finally summoned the guts to tell our darling y/n how he feels,” Finn explained. “Which is going to be very interesting to hear about later.”

/

You found Bonnie skulking around the back of the Garrison, clearing up the empty barrels and boxes.

“Bonnie Gold,” you said loudly, making him jump and drop the barrel he was holding, “are you aware of just how irritating you are?”

Bonnie gave you that infamous smirk of a smile and you rolled your eyes but smiled. “I see you noticed.”

“It’s hard not to notice the dozens of flowers littering my desk and my sister – in – law’s desk,” you replied, stepping around the crates to get closer to him.

“Did you like any of them?” Bonnie asked and you noticed the hopefulness in his voice.

“I loved the violets and daisies,” you told him coming to stand in front of him. “They just happen to be my favourite flower.”

Bonnie shrugged and you almost burst out laughing at how hard he was trying to pretend that he wasn’t bothered. “They matched your outfit.”

“Ah,” you said softly. “Bonnie, serious question: do you like me?”

“Of course I like you,” Bonnie replied, “you’re one of my best friends.”

“I don’t mean like that, you dolt,” You told him, attempting to hide your smile. “I meant do you like me, like me?”

Bonnie’s eyes widened a fraction and if you hadn’t known him so well, you would’ve missed his reaction entirely. “What on earth gave you that idea?”

You sighed quietly realising that you were going to have to be very blunt with him. “Bonnie, why else would you have spent all of your money on sending me flowers? No one else in my family does that unless they’ve majorly pissed me off.”

“Do you hate me?”

Bonnie’s voice was so small as he asked the question. You found yourself stepping forward and taking his hand in yours, squeezing it ever so slightly.

“How can I hate someone who sends me flowers? How could I possibly hate somebody I love, eh?”

Bonnie’s head shot up. “You love me?”

You nodded. “I was ignoring it until now. In fact, I think I’ve loved you ever since I fell asleep on you in the hospital, Bonnie. I’ve just been oblivious to it all.”

Bonnie’s face lit up and he smiled broadly at you. “So, are we?”

“Yes, Bonnie, we are. Although, I’m not going to be the one to tell my brother’s.” You stood up on your tip toes and kissed his cheek. “But, first, you are going to take all of those flowers off my desk and put the somewhere nice.”

“Can’t you put them in your house?”

“Bonnie, I don’t have a house, I move between all five of my families,” you told him. “Besides, there is no room in any of my bedrooms.”

“Then where am I meant to put them all?”

“In Tommy’s house, obviously.”

Bonnie rolled his eyes. “Obviously.”

[arcanescholar]

Hard To Find The Right Words

Omori Post True Good Ending Spoilers. 

Aubrey having a tough time, etc etc. Enjoy maybe??? Might get more chapters later if I feel like it???????????? FUCK????????????

Ch 2 

On the long, long list of “shit Aubrey’s had to put up with” for the past few days…

This special, insidious sort of dizziness has gotta be a new one. Seriously, give a girl a break right? Who the fuck is able to handle this many highs and lows at once? It’s enough to make her head spin, and the hospital taking her bat away wasn’t helping matters.

The words that tumbled from Sunny’s placid, stony expression, his singular eye barely betraying the shaky, unsteady difficulty in handling recounting the story, made her stomach turn.

Shit, what a time to be thinking about what she had for lunch. If it comes back up right now she might straight up die of embarrassment y’know?

She couldn’t even turn her attention to Kel or Hero but, with the way the younger had to take a step back and struggle to find any words, and how the elder seemed to freeze like a statue, she had a feeling they were in just as bad of a spot.

“… and, that’s what happened.”

Sunny finally finishes recounting his story, and before he can say another word, Hero is already lunging, Ken barely able to snag his less-in-shape brother before he gets the chance to do whatever he was about to.

Aubrey, though…?

Years of anger, years of hatred and fury and bottled up impatience, a near lifetime of bitterness bubbles in her gut and sends her vision swimming.

Huh.

She just remembered, it was pizza.

Weird, why is Sunny getting so much taller? Kel? Hero? How come her knees started hurting suddenly-

Oh.

Oh, her legs gave out. That makes sense. God, her hair’s getting in her eyes, was it already starting to lose its color? Why is it so hard to focus on anything right now? She should be pissed! She should be picking up hospital equipment and chucking it out a window right now! So why can’t she move?! Why?!

For once, Aubrey can’t summon up her anger. For the first time in who only knows how long, she feels like the scared little girl that had to hide away when holes got punched into walls, that covered her head in her room and squeezed herself into a corner with her rabbit when the arguing got too loud. Her breath catches in her throat and refuses to let up. Is she going to die?

She can’t handle this again. Not now. She’s not strong enough, she’s not tough enough to deal with this-

….

Pap

… A hand rests against her head. That brief touch is enough to peel back the veil and drag focus back kicking and screaming into reality. She almost reflexively goes to turn and smack the hand out of the way, only to realize part way through her turn that it was just Basil’s arm, flopping out from the mattress and accidentally brushing against her head for a moment. The boy was still asleep, still a mess of injuries that made her nearly throw up seeing him in that state.

She might have bullied him, fantasized about beating him to an inch of his life, thought about crushing that bat of hers against his skull more times than she could count. She might have turned that weapon on Kel and Sunny both at least once before, but…

Seeing him like this, seeing Sunny with that eye patch, having lost sight in one of his eyes for what might be the rest of his life?

…

She takes Basil’s hand in hers and carefully stands up. Hero and Kel had been shouting for at least a minute now, she’s not sure how long it’s been since they started processing what happened in their own way. A shove is all Hero needs to finally get out of Kel’s grip, giving him time to damn near sprint out of the room, tackling the door hard enough to almost knock it off of its hinges before dashing out of the room.

Almost without thinking, Kel dips out, rushing after his brother with words that only come across like muffled noises in Aubrey’s ears.

… … …

There was a time when she confided in Mari, a time when she spoke to her about what was happening back at home, she remembered the pain in the older girl’s face, and the words she told her as she let Aubrey rest her head in her lap one quiet afternoon, just between the two of them.

“It’s not my place to say, but… If I could, I’d adopt you right now and give you the biggest welcome to the family hug I could…! Family should never hurt family. No one should ever raise a hand to a loved one and mean it, and the fact that they’re scaring you like that just isn’t right…” The older sister murmured at the time. Aubrey remembers now, Mari brushed her fingers through her hair in a really specific and special way that she almost forgot about.

It was like tracing little circles into her skin with her fingers, like trying to massage the fear from her brain, reaching in deep and grasping the wellspring of her despair and coaxing it out to let her think clearly again…

“When you get older… When things seem tough and scary and you don’t know what to do, that you feel like you’ve got nowhere else you can turn to. You might want to get mad, you might get really furious at having to deal with so much as a kid, but… Promise me, you won’t turn that anger on your friends, okay? Take a breath-”

… Haaaaahhh…

“-center yourself-”

Aubrey gives Basil’s hand a light squeeze. She can hear the hum of medical equipment and the sound of Hero and Kel’s footsteps retreating again.

“-and remember all the precious people you have in your life.”

She wasn’t the sort to pay the most attention to school, but, in this moment, a line she read in a book she had to read a few weeks back crosses her mind again.

“They asked, ‘do you love her to death’? And I said ‘speak of her over my grave, and watch how she brings me back to life’.” (1)

Funny how things dredge up in your memory at the weirdest possible moments, she thinks. For the first time, she’s starting to understand at least some of what those words really mean. 

…

After a moment, she carefully tucks Basil’s hand back into the bed, before letting loose a light huff through her nose. He’s still sleeping, if a bit more fitfully from all the noise.

“… Kh. Don’t gotta remind me like that y’know? Puts a bad taste in my mouth…” She nearly spits, trying to mask herself with bitterness.

It wouldn’t be long before hospital security came to drag Sunny back to his bed and cut this conversation short, she had to act fast.

She steps forward, and without hesitation, reaches up… and presses her hand on Sunny’s head, rubbing her fingers through his hair, tracing circles and massaging with a silent, stony expression that matches his own. She was still sick to her stomach, her balance was still terrifically uneasy, but…

“… I’ll come talk to you again later, okay?”

She pulls her hand back, and gives him a light punch to his shoulder before stepping out of the room.

“For what it’s worth…” She says, pausing in the door frame as she hears the sounds of shoes squeaking against tile flooring as the hospital staff finally approaches to do their damn jobs.

“I kinda get it. I understand it. I’ve been there. I’m not good at talking about this kind of thing, but, if you need to talk, I can give listening a try... this time.”

Sunny was going to leave after he recovered enough for the hospital to let him loose with his frankly fucking negligent mom. There was nothing she could do that would change that, but…

At least for now, at least while he was still recovering in the hospital, she could finally, actually speak to him.

“… Thanks for opening up Sunny. Give Hero a bit. That guy’s so strung up trying to be the best of us that I guess even he’s gotta snap at some point right?”

Says the girl trying to play mom-friend to the most broken-ass friend group in the tristate area. Christ, trying to be a decent person sucks. How the fuck did Hero pull it off for so damn long?

��Aubrey…”

“Yeah Sunny?”

“… thank you. I’m sorry.”

“Kh, fuck that, I almost drowned both you and Basil. If I started whining about accidents that happened in fits of rage I’d be the worst hypocrite in history, y’know?”

“…”

“Talk to Basil and let him know what happened if he wakes up before the staff drag you back to your room or something. I’ll let ‘em know you need a sec.”

With that, she carefully shuts the door.

What she says to the staff, what kind of look she gives them is growled with enough force and tinged with enough protective violence that it gives them just enough pause for the young boys to exchange an all too important smile of mutual understanding. 

Even if Aubrey never saw it, that little moment of clarity between them saved both of their lives in a way she’d refuse to take credit for helping make happen, knowing her.

A busted, crappy, cracked-screen phone buzzes to life as she walks past the staff. God, she fucking hates it here. The way her shoes hit the tiles, the way the equipment sounds, the fact that every time she’s come here, she’s ended up crying for some reason or another-

Shit, here come the water works now. Damn it Aubrey, at least make it out the door first-

A trip and a tumble nearly sends her falling straight to the floor but, she snaps out her hand just in time to snatch onto a handrail on the side of one of the hallways, her head still spinning as she sags against the floor, her phone toppling out of her jacket’s pocket and landing on its back with a loud, spinning clatter, settling in upside down to her perspective. Tear drops spatter onto the screen, distorting the light and scattering rainbow patterns across its surface. Gah. Add that to the damage. This just isn’t her day. 

Behind a call notification, her background shows the cork board in her room with the pictures she yanked out of Basil’s album after saving them from their near ruined state, mixed in with pictures of her and her other friends she made in the time that passed since. A little bubble on the screen bounces about, showing a picture of Kim flashing a peace sign with a bright eyed wink that reflects in Aubrey’s tired eyes, refracting as it passes underneath her teardrops.  “… Hhfffhh…”

She eventually picks her phone up off the ground and answers it. A hospital staffer looks about ready to tell her off for using her phone in the hallway but, lets be honest.

The kind of glare Aubrey gives off as she very deliberately swipes her finger across the screen to accept the call is the sort that would give most adults pause.

“… Hey.”

“Aubrey!!!! You finally picked up!!!”

“…”

“I was so worried when I heard about what happened! Kh, stupid hospital not letting us in…!”

“…”

“… Aubrey? Are you there? I can kinda hear you breathing so you probably didn’t butt-accept the call or something!”

“Yeah. Yeah I’m here.”

“Jeez, how come you weren’t saying anything? Did those ner-”

An audible pause. Kim clears her throat after a second.

“Sorry, uh, did those guys get out of the woods okay…? I kinda only caught the cliffnotes of you going to the hospital from that text you sent me so…”

“They’re fine.”

Aubrey steps outside the hospital’s visiting center doors and finally breathes fresh air for the first time in what felt like days.

“Or… They’re as fine as they can be. Sort of. Kinda.” She continues, stepping over to one of the benches outside and taking a seat, drinking in the sounds of chirping birds, gentle breezes, swaying trees, and the sensation of warm sunlight… It was a beautiful day, and she didn’t feel nearly good enough to appreciate any of it.

“That’s good at least yeah? Uh… Hrmggh. I’m bad at this kinda thing but… Uh. If there’s anything you need to talk about, you can hit me and the others up at any time yeah?”

Kim’s voice was surprisingly tender, tender enough that it manages to draw a sniff out from Aubrey, forcing her to bring a hand up to her eyes and rub it across them to make sure she didn’t show any tears yet god damn it-

Ugh. Where’s Kel’s Taurine soaked brain anyway. He’s better about handling this kinda energy! Does- shit, does he even like energy drinks?

“Aubreeeeey, if you keep going silent I’m gonna think someone kidnapped you y’know. Gotta pull the whole gang together, beat up on the nearest creepos till we find you! The Maverick’s got a Style Meter App on his phone that does those shouts from that one game so we’ll even get t’ have our own hype-men-”

The thought of Michael in a parking lot with a buffer sword in one hand and a phone in the other trying to do combos for a video to put on his Way Too Many Social Media accounts hits Aubrey with a second hand cringe that nearly brings her to her knees.

“UGGGHHHH!” Aubrey finally cracks, a doofy grin hitting her lips despite her audible mental suffering, slumping back in the chair and nearly sliding out of it entirely, a few tears finally trickling down her eyes as her body releases its tension at last.

“I can’t believe that try hard seriously sprung for something like that. If he tries that shit in public in front of me I’m making’ his screen look like mine.” Aubrey finally grumbles, adjusting her bow. “… Right, I left my bat at home. Ugh.”

“There we go! Now you’re talking’ again. Jeez, way to make a girl worry… Charlene was getting ready to find some flowers to give to you too, the sweetheart.”

“She’s more of an angel than Angel is…”

“Right?! Maybe we should make Angel give up on his nickname-”

“Don’t bother, Charlene’d never let him do it.”

“You’re so right it’s actually kinda annoying.”

“She’s the best of us, y’know.”

“…”

“…”

“So, can you like, talk about what happened at all now or…?”

“… Hang out spot, by the lake, be there in 20.”

“Should I bring the rest of the group-”

“Not this time, Kim.”

The call ends without another word, another ping showing on her phone’s screen showing string of texts from Kel.

JrangeOoe: hey!!!!! ;v;

JrangeOoe: sorry i left you alone with sunny and basil there, hero was having a really bad freak out

JrangeOoe: mom and dad and i are workin with him now, gonna try to calm him down will be back at hospital to give basil and sunny another visit later

JrangeOoe: gonna be honest, this is giving me a little time to figure this stuff out too so, thanks hero for the panic i guess??????

JrangeOoe: ugh no that’s not fair

JrangeOoe: anyway, if you need to chill and get some ginos later i found 10 bucks in a visiting center couch and was trying to hide it but

JrangeOoe: today’s a “spread the wealth” sorta day

It took a couple of moments of hesitation, but…

headhooligan: dinner, maybe

headhooligan: fuck this whole dumbs week

headhooligan: i got some spare cash so i’ll chip in too to get hero something if it’ll help

headhooligan: also what the fuck how are you so calm about this are your parents not trying to work you through this too or something?!

JrangeOoe: uh

JrangeOoe: no but i think hero needs it more right now!!!

JrangeOoe: i dunno how i feel, i guess i’m just to worried about everyone else to think about it?

JrangeOoe: *too

JrangeOoe: i’ll catch you later for dinner tho, if i can get hero to calm down enough to feel safe leaving him be with mom and dad

JrangeOoe: get a feelings jam up in here

JrangeOoe: pizza and ice cream or whatever

JrangeOoe: not at your place tho tbh your mom kinda freaks me out like a lot

headhooligan: >:/

JrangeOoe: what? it’s the truth!

With a roll of her eyes, Aubrey stuffs her phone away, wrenching her bike out of its lock from the hospital’s parking lot bike rack and mounting up. She takes one, final, long look at the hospital’s monolithic facade, and thinks about just how high up that building goes before shaking her head, and pedaling off.

The whole ride home, all she can do is play back today’s events again, and again, and again. Hear the same story in Sunny’s stilted monotone, again, and again, and again.

Every instinct, every trained gut reaction, every beaten in urge and desire tells her she should hate him.

He stole her from everyone, he murdered her, broke her skull against the floor like some raging animal then strung her up like a horror show for everyone to see just to avoid consequences with Basil’s help-

… But…

That panic that gripped her chest when Basil fell in the water from her shove just a few days ago, the terror at taking not one life, but two when Sunny jumped in after him, still unable to swim.

“…”

Her pedaling gets harder, more forceful, making the aging, damaged frame of her hand me down, fourth hand bike creak and groan in protest, hair billowing behind her in a tangled mess of poorly kept locks…

What should be anger gives way to an oddly calm understanding, what should be hatred and fury and violence wraps itself so tightly in its own chaotic energy that all she can do is…

…

There’s not a cloud in the sky, but raindrops spatter on concrete and asphalt where she rides, leaving a trail of sorrow four years in the making, finally given “closure”, finally released.

—-

(1) Credit to Mahmoud Darwish for this legendary line.

[halothenthehorns]

TLTNL- THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX

It didn't entirely come to their expectations, as they'd been expecting a rant about his mother, but instead he snarled in frustration and got to his feet, pacing and muttering angrily, "woman just can't leave me in peace! Even in death she'll find a way to drive me mad, or more mad as I'm still convinced that's what I'd have to be to go back in there for some stupid meeting that Snape's a part of."

"I think we should leave and get some lunch," James sighed as he gazed down at the book. They'd only been at this for a few hours, but really, they'd just been dealing with so many things back to back already a break felt needed.

Sirius stomped wordlessly to the kitchen still muttering obscenities.

They ate their meal in some resemblance of peace but Sirius still refused to leave his plate, scraping it clean and then still scraping his fork against it. Remus hadn't actually meant to whisper, "Sirius, you didn't really mean that right? You know that place didn't-" he broke off as he couldn't think of how to phrase what Azkaban had done to him.

  "I'm not acting right," he muttered to his plate alone. "I know I'm not, I don't need to see you two acting so off when I'm mentioned to notice it myself. Haven't gone after Harry, haven't done a damned thing really, now I'm actually back at that place, been there since Harry got there it seems, and I don't come up to see him until I hear that woman shouting." He sighed and shook his head, letting his hair fall into his face.

"You've clearly got a lot on your mind," James tried his very best to put something light into this. "A new feeling for you I'm sure."

Sirius did not rise to the bait, but he didn't seem to want to linger on this in front of them either as he pushed away from the table and wouldn't look at anyone as he went back to the room.

On the way there Lily managed to step in the shards of the vase James had broken earlier. She quickly banished the mess without remorse, that was just one step of ridding Petunia from her life.

James sat unhappily in his seat as he watched Lily sit back down beside him cuddling their child, his mind still on Sirius as he began flipping to his chapter and wishing he had more to comfort his best friend with, but so long as the topic was going to be over that house he didn't see how that was possible.

Harry was stunned at the news while Sirius elaborated that his dear old mother had put up a Permanent Sticking Charm on these so that they couldn't take them down.

"Spiteful old hag," Sirius spat, "can't get away from that even in her death."

"Well maybe you shouldn't have given her the idea," James still tried to play this off as a joke, "she did give you absolute hell when you put all that stuff up in your room."

Sirius still refused to react past grumbling.

Then he quickly tried to usher them all down the stairs before anything woke up again.

"I don't understand why you don't just put something in the way, put a door in front of curtains or something if keeping her face covered keeps her silent." Harry asked.

"I've got one better, just blow the whole wall up and be done with it," Remus added on.

"Oh how I wish I still had Moony's wisdom at a time like that," Sirius sighed theatrically before explaining to Harry what Remus knew full well, "the permanent sticking charm keeping her to that wall means that you'd have to rip down that whole house to get that thing gone, the charm is now in the very fabric of the building and no amount of blasting walls will get it off unless the whole frame goes with it, that's some powerful magic to get rid of anything, and not going to be used on something as precious as headquarters right now." His face puckered with disappointment as Lily explained the more reasonable half.

"As for putting something more solid to keep that woman blocked, I'm afraid that magic can't just have a wall put in front of it and there won't be consequences. So long as it's enchanted to react to noise and start screaming, if you try to cover that up, the person who did so will suffer terribly for it. It comes with its own countercurse that if you block it in any way from acting like it should, you're cursed. The curtains are enough that it can still activate, while ah, well at least you won't have to see the stupid thing."

Harry just sighed and grumbled about complex magic.

Harry asked what a thing like that was doing here?

"Striving to torture me till the end of my days," Sirius huffed.

Sirius was surprised no one had told Harry this was his parents place. He'd offered it to Dumbledore as Headquarters, about the only useful thing he'd done of late.

James felt his heart sink as he could feel the weight of that even if he hadn't seen his best friend in person.

Lily beat him to the punch by sympathizing, "I'm sure you're just exaggerating like always Sirius, just because he's got you doing things you don't want to be doing."

Sirius wasn't so sure, he still couldn't help a worm of agitation going through his brain of how he'd been acting. He'd been acting more normal last year with the Tournament going on, this just didn't feel right to him.

Harry, who had expected a better welcome, noted how hard and bitter Sirius's voice sounded.

They all gave a hard twitch at that, though they hadn't really been pretending before, you couldn't deny anymore something bad was going on with their Padfoot.

Remus tried to force some hope into his voice, "I'm positive he's just in a mood because he's in that house for a while, once he and Harry step back out he'll lighten up at once."

Sirius took a deep breath and tried to take Moony's words to heart, but he also couldn't pretend Harry's frown deepened at the words.

He followed his godfather into the kitchen which was hardly less creepy than the place above. A long dark room lit only by the fireplace at the end that had a stew pot dangling above it, and more kitchen cooking things on the ceiling.

Sirius still couldn't stop a nasty little shiver for the reminder of that place, where so many of his mother's precious 'lessons' about everything he hated had taken place.

A haze of smoke left the whole place with a foreboding feeling as they all took seats around what appeared to be a pile of rags. Mr. Weasley and Bill were still at the table as well talking in low voices, but Bill quickly caught sight of their entry and called out a greeting to Harry, asking if Mad-Eye had gotten him here by Greenland?

"What a shame he didn't, I heard the scenery is lovely," James rolled his eyes.

Tonks said that he tried,

Lily snorted softly as she could honestly imagine that.

while coming forward and accidentally knocking a candle onto a piece of parchment.

"When she said she was clumsy, she really meant it," Remus chuckled softly.

"Did you really think she was kidding?" Harry laughed lightly back.

"Some people exaggerate it," Remus half heartedly persisted, trying to press into any mundane point with Sirius still looking so tight over continued mentionings of this place. "Just because you drop or break something once in awhile, I've been known to be clumsy as well. This however, is clinically clumsy."

Finally causing the others to start a light giggle as well.

Tonks began apologizing at once as Mrs. Weasley swooped in to save the paper, and in the instant flash of light Harry recognized what he thought were building plans.*

"Just what are they looking into?" Lily asked of no one with exasperation.

"Couldn't tell you," James pouted.

Harry was sad to note he didn't even have a gut feeling about this, it was probably something of the Order he was never told.

Mrs. Weasley caught him looking and quickly snatched the paper away to go into Bill's already stuffed arms full of other similar things.

"That woman's just no fun," Sirius sighed tragically, trying to force himself to remain off his own mother for a time and focus on this overbearing one.

She snapped of no one that these things should all be put up right at the end of meetings.

"Or, you know, don't bother hiding stuff inside the Order and just let them know anyways," James grumbled.

Bill didn't argue the point as he got his wand out and vanished the lot with Evanesce.

"Where do they go?" Harry asked in surprise.

"Wherever Bill wants them to," Remus shrugged, "they've probably got some special place they keep all those documents that only Order members can summon them from."

Sirius told Harry to come have a seat next to him, and then reintroduced Mundungus.

They all felt a sharp spike of agitation at the mention of him.

The thing Harry had taken to be a pile of rags gave a prolonged, grunting snore, then jerked awake.

"I can not believe you of all people were sitting next to him," James balked, staring down at the page. Sirius looked just as confused at his setting mate, but then they were all surprised at Harry's sudden burst of laughter.

"What's so funny then?" Remus prompted as Harry rubbed gently at his temple, his eyes shining with mirth.

"Oh, I just remember all of a sudden Ron telling me about how Sirius reacted when Dung came over. It was just Sirius, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and Bill there at the time when he showed up. Apparently he came stumbling into the house, saying 'Dementors attacked, Figgs going to kill me, where's Dumbledore?' Mr. Weasley apparently flipped out at once, ran down into the kitchen and sent an owl off to me, and disapparated before Dung had really gotten all the words out."

He paused there and turned those same amused eyes on Sirius and continued, "Want to know what you did? According to Ron and Hermione you made him repeat it, and then you started strangling him."

Sirius cocked his head to the side, then nodded like this made perfect sense to him. The others couldn't help but give grim smiles as well, it felt rather appropriate to the way they were feeling. Harry finished off by saying, "It took Bill pulling you off to get you to stop, but from then on Ron said that you tended to dog Dung wherever he went, and he'd flinch every time you like scratched your nose or something."

James was still chuckling mercilessly at the imagery as he went back to the pages.

He turned hung eyes on everyone questioningly, before saying he voted with Sirius.

"Bet you anything that wanker agreed with me just for some brownie points," Sirius sniffed in disdain, hardly mollified to find out he'd attempted to strangle someone who had been supposed to be looking after his Godson.

Sirius told him the meeting was over, and Harry was here now.

Mundungus had to struggle to focus on him while asking if he was doing alright?

"No thanks to you," Lily still couldn't help but snip.

His fumbling fingers began going through his robes until he came out with a pipe, which he quickly lit causing a nasty smell to linger in the already hazy place, then he added on he owed Harry an apology.

"The least of which," James sniffed.

Molly cut off anything else as she snapped at him not to light that in the kitchen!

"I can't believe he had the nerve to do something that agitates her, right in front of her," Remus raised a brow as he still knew how ticked Lily was at him for the moment, surely Molly was just as bad if not worse as she probably approved of Harry being followed.

Mundungus quickly agreed and pocketed it, but the smell of burning socks still lingered.

"Pleasant," Lily crinkled up her nose.

Then she snapped of the room at large if they wanted dinner any time soon she needed some help, before turning on Harry and saying he was excluded as he'd had a long day.

"I'd have rather been next to the stove," Harry muttered to himself, his rage had made him forget about his cold upon arrival, but he still hadn't fully regained feeling in all his fingers from that flight.

Tonks bounded forward at once to offer her services to a clearly apprehensive Molly.

"I'm supposing Tonks has knocked over one to many stews," Remus smirked.

She tried to tell her as well she'd done enough, but Tonks waved her off and said she wanted to help while going to help Ginny get some cutlery out.

"I'm sensing that's the wrong place for her to be," James rolled his eyes, "more likely she should be set to some potatoes, least she can break those all she likes."

Soon the whole kitchen was busy with something, leaving Harry, Sirius, and Mundungus at the table.

Sirius still felt a flaring agitation rising in him, still pestered over this reunion.

Mundungus asked Harry if he'd seen Mrs. Figg lately, and Harry tartly replied he hadn't seen anyone. Mundungus spoke like Harry hadn't, saying he hadn't meant to leave his post, but there had been a really good business deal-

"Sirius dear, I need you to do me a favor and start strangling him again," Lily said almost pleasantly.

"I'm positive I'll be all too happy to," Sirius almost managed a cheerful look back at the thought.

Harry felt something brush against his knee as he stopped listening to him and glanced down to see Crookshanks. He twined once around Harry's legs before hopping into Sirius' lap, who began absentmindedly scratching him.

"I've missed hearing about that cat," Remus gave a light snicker. 

James just suppressed a smile as he imagined Harry looking down at exactly the wrong time. Mundungus bringing that up, and Sirius glaring at him would have been a precious thing described. Sadly the subject got changed in the next sentence before he got to hear of any such thing.

Sirius asked how Harry's summer had been?

Then Sirius flinched again, harder, as he'd already had to realize how dumb that question was, yet he couldn't have bothered to find out any point before now? What exactly had he been so busy doing to not have done so?

Harry just grumbled how lousy it had been, making a grin flit across Sirius' face.

"So glad you find that funny," Harry happily poked fun, while the others all listened curiously to see just what about that had made Sirius act even a smidge more normal at laughing at anything.

Sirius told Harry he had nothing to be complaining about, he'd welcome a dementor attack.

James could not read that without a nasty catch in his throat, hoping beyond everything his best friend was kidding about that part, as Sirius still flinched at the thought of what those foul demons were going to be doing to his future. Sirius making light of this was entirely his Padfoot though, so he read on with more enthusiasm than he would have thought.

A deadly struggle for his soul would have broken the monotony nicely.

"Sirius," Lily began dangerously, clearly saying she'd switch that threat of violence to him in a heartbeat if she heard of anymore fool headed moves on his part.

At least Harry had been allowed out of the house, he'd been stuck in here for a month.

"I, what?" Sirius demanded, feeling like his heart had just dropped down into his stomach. This couldn't really mean what he was thinking...

Harry asked why, and Sirius explained that the Ministry was still after him, and Voldemort knew all about his Animagus disguise.

"But, all of that was true last year too, and you were getting around just fine!" Remus snapped, trying to pretend he hadn't watched James go the worst shade of red at having to be reminded who their friend was sharing all of their secrets with.

So there wasn't much use he could do for the Order, so Dumbledore seemed to feel.

There was a deadly moment of silence where everyone just sat there for a moment and gaped at what Sirius had just implied he'd been up to. No, he hadn't really-

Sirius' temper snapped. The shouting they'd all been expecting before to come up when faced with his mother finally seemed to have tantamount as past memories blocked out everything and he began shouting, "I can't decide who I hate worse right now, the rat for my name still being smeared, or Dumbledore! HE PUT ME IN WHERE!?"

His voice may have ruptured to stop him from continuing, that or he actually realized the baby was crying fiercely now, either way he forced himself to stop that and instead got to his feet and began stamping more than pacing across the room in frustration.

"Sirius-" Someone tried to say, but he didn't even take note of it as he kept going in a forced lesser volume, "it's damn near as bad as if I'd been locked into Azkaban all over again, there's no way I'm actually-" he cut himself off that time though, because in some nasty twisted way it did explain his behavior so far. If Dumbledore had actually convinced him to stay in that house for his safety, than he would be in the worst mood of his life the whole time there, it's no wonder Harry's problems were falling to his wayside, he had trouble thinking of anything else now when he wasn't in that place, but trapped back in those dank walls and he'd be a bottomless pit of self pity.

"Listen Padfoot," James insisted over his still fussy child, who was now making more noise than Sirius, but Lily refused to leave the room this time as she kept soothing him patiently and keeping an eye on Sirius. "Dumbledore's insane for thinking that's what you should do, and Merlin it's a twist of irony you've actually seemed to listen to him in doing it, but I think you're forgetting something really important."

"What?" He barked like a snapping animal.

"It's not happening to you now. You never have to go back there again if you don't want to. Deep breaths Pads, I promise Dumbledore will rue the day he decided to do this to you."

"Rue?" Remus asked more to change the subject than anything. "Look at you using big kid words."

James theatrically pouted at him, while Sirius sighed but at least stopped shouting for now, and so had the baby. James still kept watching Sirius carefully as he went grumpily back to his seat, but when it became clear he was the holdup Sirius just waved him on, though now he looked more likely than Lily to be strangling a certain someone soon, and it wasn't Mundungus anymore.

The tight way Sirius said Harry's headmaster's name made it very clear Sirius had just as many bad thoughts about Dumbledore as Harry lately, and he felt a sudden upsurge of affection for his godfather.

"Mutual hatred of someone will do wonders to bring two people closer together," James gave an awkward smile in agreement, his thoughts on Snape and how for so many years four people had spent their lives hating his every step. Now one of them was on the same side as him.

He still tried to encourage at least Sirius was in the know, but Sirius corrected that sitting around listening to Snape's reports

"That is actual torture," Remus declared.

"I'll be lucky if I don't go mad and murder everyone in the room next time," Sirius agreed.

and all his snide comments was hardly riveting news, especially as he kept making cracks about Sirius lazing on his backside, asking about the cleaning.

Harry wondered if Sirius had known at the time he sounded exactly like his father did upon reading that, then he felt his spirits sink that much lower as Harry kept realizing that with every minute he valued getting to watch James do anything, his Sirius probably missed his brother double.

Harry asked what that meant, and Sirius explained they were trying to make this place fit for human habitation again, it had been abandoned for ten years,

"Ten years eh?" Sirius muttered absently, trying to draw the timeframe in his head, but since he honestly had no clue of who died first, his parents or Regulus, it still wasn't helping anything.

and some nasty stuff had taken to breeding in here.

Mundungus, who hadn't been listening to a word, suddenly cut in towards Sirius that the goblet he was holding was solid silver.

Harry felt a sudden flash of violence overtake him, some memory trying to bubble right to the surface of his strangling Mundungus-

"I can see what his attention was just so riveted on," Lily snarked.

"Trust Mundungus to try filching something from that house," Sirius said with an actual touch of indulgence though, he'd help loot the place for the man even while holding some burning violence for him.

Sirius disdainfully agreed it was a fine piece of fifteenth century goblin-wrought silver with the Black crest and everything.

Mundungus muttered to himself that bit would come off though.

"Why would he want it to?" Remus asked in honest confusion. "Wouldn't it be worth more with that crest in place, proving its pureblood usage."

"Depends on what Dung's using it for I guess," Sirius shrugged without care.

They were all interrupted by Molly's shriek at the twins just to carry it!

James could already feel a touch of indulgence replacing his lackluster mood at Sirius' future problems, the twins always had made him feel better though and this sounded like something right out of his late teen years.

The three at the table only just managed to look up in time, and jump away from the table.

The twins had tried to enchant a cauldron of soup, a flagon of Butterbeer, and a wooden board holding a loaf of bread complete with knife soaring towards the table. Too enthusiastically though, as the soup skidded the length of the table leaving black marks and only just not falling off the edge, the Butterbeer really did fall with a crash, and the knife slipped right off the board and soared point blank into the table where Sirius' hand had just been.

Harry had to swallow very hard around the boy's sudden laughter, that felt like a bad omen to him.

Molly was telling her kids off already in shouting tones about how just because they were of age now did not mean they had to whip their wands out for everything!

James wasn't shouting that too loud considering his infant was still being rather fidgety in his mother's arms, but the tone was clear in his voice and they were all giggling now as none of them would deny they had been the same way after they'd turned seventeen.

Fred was trying to ignore his mother by hurrying forward and apologizing to Sirius while wrenching the knife out of the table, but both he and Harry were to busy laughing to notice.

"Good to know some things don't change," Sirius muttered as he brushed some hair back out of his face and grinned at Harry who'd quickly forced himself to ignore his moment and had indeed been laughing along.

Crookshanks had been startled so bad he'd darted under a dresser.

Arthur was trying to agree with his wife that now they were of age they should be showing more responsibility-

"Parents always think you're supposed to be responsible no matter what age you're at," James sighed.

while Mrs. Weasley cut in that none of their brothers caused this much trouble!

Lily winced as she heard that again, how she wished Molly would quit badgering those boys about being like their siblings, it couldn't be good for any of them to always be compared to each other, she still remembered how Ron had been on that first train ride and how badly it had shown him being looked over when it came to his fourth year.

She slammed a fresh flagon of Butterbeer on to the table, and spilled almost as much again.

"I'm sure that got her point across better," Remus snorted.

All while yelling Bill hadn't felt the need to Apparate every few feet!

"But Percy apparently did, and no one was yelling at him for that," James huffed.

"I don't buy that for a second," Harry muttered to himself, thinking of how Bill's very look screamed he didn't like abiding by normal standards and enjoyed his reckless moments.

Charlie hadn't charmed everything he met!

"Charlie clearly needs some fun tips then," Lily smiled to herself.

Percy -

James voice broke with a sharp hiss of frustration even before he found out how the guys own parents reacted. He didn't care if he had no personal relation to Percy himself, he now couldn't help picturing that little shit of a Weasley in as foul a way as possible.

She stopped dead, catching her breath with a frightened look at her husband, whose expression was suddenly wooden.

Lily felt herself wobbling and tucking her child that much closer to her as it hurt to picture such a thing happening to those parents.

Bill jumped in by saying he was hungry, and Lupin swiftly agreed the stew looked delicious as he tried loading a plate to hand to her.

"I see why the Order's still keeping you around," Sirius nodded to himself, "least you can still manage to change the subject slick as butter."

For a few minutes there was silence but for the chink of plates and cutlery and the scraping of chairs as everyone settled down to their food.

Harry gave a sad sigh as he wondered if Percy would be proud of himself for creating such an awkward silence at just the mention of his name.

Then Mrs. Weasley turned to Sirius.

"Oh boy," they all muttered, as Sirius wasn't being at his most pleasant around them while in mention of that house, but around someone he'd shown not a spot of like for inside it, this could turn ugly fast.

She brought up that there was an odd rattling in the writing desk upstairs,

"And she's telling you this, because?" Remus asked with honest amusement.

"Wants to know the best spell to set it on fire?" Sirius shrugged carelessly.

it could just be a Boggart, but she'd rather have Mad-Eye check it before they opened it.

Harry suddenly blinked in utter fascination at the idea as he turned to Remus and asked, "you said a Boggart could read your mind and automatically turn into the thing you fear most, but could it do that if it doesn't realize Moody's looking at it? What do Boggarts look like when no one's around?"

"No one knows a Boggarts true form," Remus reminded, "not even Moody. Most likely it's just hiding as something already to fear you, and the person who did get closest to it could still manage to transform and scare them before they'd cast it off."

Harry was still trying to picture Moody being afraid of anything a Boggart could turn into as a laughable idea, but still the idea of that Boggart bothered him for some reason, like it did scare someone.

Sirius indifferently agreed, while Molly moved on to talking about some curtains full of Doxys and how they should tackle that tomorrow.

"I wouldn't let Sirius anywhere near anything in that place without taking his wand away, and that's too dangerous as well," James shook his head at Molly. "Just what makes her think it's a good idea to let Sirius help try and clean anything?"

Sirius just wasn't in the mood to respond back and keep playing this off like a joke, the thought of that room like every other dragging up some haunting memories he'd done a good job of burying over the years, this one in particular being the time his dad had given him a week long lecture on the dark creatures of the world and what Sirius was expected to do if he ever met them, not a pleasant reminder while sitting next to Moony.

Sirius stated he looked forward to it, while Harry wondered if he was the only one finding sarcasm in that.

"I can't imagine it was hardly disguised," Lily muttered, Sirius had never done a good job of hiding any feelings.

Opposite him, Tonks was entertaining Hermione and Ginny by changing her nose between bites.

This was so randomly unexpected James had to stifle a giggle before going on, and then read slightly louder over the others still doing so.

Even as Harry looked it extended into a long beak-like protuberance that resembled Snape.

"If she has never done that to his face, I will pay that woman my weight in gold this instant to do it now," Sirius managed to get out in between laughter.

"No, no, you're not thinking hard enough," Remus instructed with a smirk, "she's supposed to be doing it behind his back in the Order meetings while he's not looking."

James actually had to stop to catch his breath back from laughing so hard, while Lily rolled her eyes and was beginning to think Tonks really would fit into this bunch a little too well.

Then she took another bite, and it shrank down to a button. Apparently this was a regular mealtime show, as Hermione and Ginny began asking for favorites.

"This really is fascinating," Lily grinned the more she realized how flexible Tonks's ability was outside of a text describing it.

One asked for a pig snout, and when she was done Harry had the impression of looking at a female Dudley.

"Urgh, as if the original version wasn't vile enough," James chuckled.

Mr. Weasley, Bill and Lupin were having an intense discussion on about goblins.

"Think I'd rather go back hearing about Tonks noses," Remus huffed quietly to himself, which Sirius still heard and rolled his eyes at, hoping Moony wasn't going to be like this every time he was mentioned, and completely ignoring the fact that he had been the same lately.

Bill was talking about how they were giving nothing away, no one could work out whose side they were on. They could just be staying neutral.

"That's what they're doing now," Lily agreed.

Mr. Weasley didn't believe they'd really join You-Know-Who, he'd wronged them too much, reminding them of that goblin family in Nottingham.

"Has that happened yet?" James asked in confusion, though after a while all of the deaths really started blurring together.

"I think Sturgis was actually doing some looking into that area," Remus nodded to himself, "he mentioned it last time, so maybe, or it's just fixing to."

"Must be a big name in the goblin community to still be remembered so vividly," Lily said sadly, as normally wizards were horrible about keeping track of other creatures history.

Lupin countered it all depended on what they were offered. If Voldemort was promising freedoms wizards were denying them, they'd be tempted.

Remus muttered something under his breath about how that would tempt a lot more than goblins, but Sirius gave him a hard nudge to shut up that kind of talk.

Then asking Bill if he'd heard anything from Ragnok?

Bill sighed as he explained how anti wizard he was at the moment, he felt shorted because they'd never gotten back their gold from Bagman, claimed the Ministry was doing a cover up so they wouldn't get their dues.

"I'm sure no one got their gold back from Bagman," Lily scowled at the reminder of that, the twins in particular nearly having suffered a great fallback for it.

Laughter broke off the end of that though, from the rest of the Weasley's and Mundungus.

"Well at least this sounds far more entertaining," James grinned.

He was telling them a story about how he sold this guys nicked toads back to him for double the price.

James nearly couldn't finish to the end he was laughing so hard, though he really was the only one.

Lily still found him too annoying to laugh at such a stupid thing, and though Sirius normally would have he was on Lily's side for once. Remus still looked distant and distracted like he hadn't even realized they'd switched to another topic.

Mrs. Weasley cut him off saying they didn't need to be hearing stories about his business while Ron was slumped over the table laughing.

"At least someone's enjoying themselves," Harry sighed.

Mundungus apologized at once, but tried to offer that as the other guy had nicked them in the first place as well, Mundungus hadn't really been doing anything wrong.

"Can't fault his logic though," Sirius did nod in agreement to that, causing Lily to glare at him as she wished he was kidding.

Molly snapped back Mundungus must have missed a few crucial lessons on right and wrong then.

"Don't know what she's talking about," Remus snorted, "he's clearly looked them all up verbatim."

"So he can do them exactly wrong," James smirked.

Fred and George were keeping their faces out of sight, while Mrs. Weasley shot Sirius a nasty look at the end.

"Just what have you been up to regarding them?" James suddenly demanded eagerly.

Since the first time that place had come up, Sirius truly looked interested in the story again and waved James on eagerly in hopes he would at least find that out.

Then she got up to check on dessert, and Sirius informed Harry Molly didn't approve of Mundungus.

"So what's she glaring at you for then?" Remus asked in honest disappointment if that had been what that look was for.

"I most likely indulged him a lot before he skipped out on Harry," Sirius offered, "and maybe she didn't approve of the way I handled him when he came to tell us."

"Can't imagine that's it," Lily scoffed, "since I can all to easily picture Molly wanting to throw a swing as well."

Harry asked why he was even in the Order, and Sirius explained that he was a useful crook, very loyal to Dumbledore, knows a lot of the underbelly information that came in handy. Molly in particular disliked him because he'd skived off on his tailing duty of Harry.

"I'm positive she's not the only one," Sirius sniffed, even if he was still on Harry's side he should have known about it, it didn't negate that Dung hadn't been doing his job.

Lily was frowning to herself for a different reason, thinking that it technically was Sirius' house and Molly shouldn't be shooting looks at him for having anyone stay over. She did wonder at Sirius' motives behind this, but she knew that he didn't know now.

Three helpings of food later and Harry's pants were beginning to feel a bit tight, quite an accomplishment as they used to be Dudleys.

"Probably back from when he was single digits though," Harry corrected with a slight snort.

He was starting to feel a bit sleepy, and clearly so was the rest of the table.

Just as Molly was encouraging them all to head that way though, Sirius turned to Harry and said how surprised he was, he'd expected him to demand answers about Voldemort the moment he'd stepped in here.

They all burst out laughing at that one, though Harry blushed vividly as he was again reminded who he had demanded those answers from, very vocally.

The atmosphere in the room changed with the rapidity Harry associated with the arrival of Dementors.

"You sure do have the best timing Padfoot," Remus muttered.

Harry agreed he had, but his friends had told him the Order wasn't telling so-

Molly cut him off that was exactly right, he was too young.

Lily flushed in agitation at Molly saying that for her son. It should be Sirius' decision, and more than that, it should be hers to decide what Harry knew at what age. She wasn't the only one scowling hatefully for that comment, but somehow it hurt her the worst that she watched Harry flush with a new embarrassment as his eyes flickered from her and away again almost shamefully, like he'd just been wondering if his mum would say the same.

Sirius asked back since when did you have to be in the Order to be asking questions?

George interrupted loudly to demand of where this attitude had come from? While Fred agreed they'd been trying to get Sirius to tell them for a month and he hadn't shared a thing!

"Honestly Sirius, I think I'm impressed with your restraint," Lily seemed the only one who was surprised though.

James now looked offended for his mate as he said, "Sirius knows better than to get between a mum and her kids. Molly probably asked Sirius specifically not to say anything to them and he knows to respect that."

Lily looked chagrined enough Sirius didn't even bother to smirk at her, much.

Fred mimicked his mother near perfectly about how they were too young to be in the Order.

"They've always seemed rather good at their impressions," Remus muttered randomly as he shifted uneasily in his seat, he could already feel a fight breaking out and he wasn't even in the room for it.

Sirius returned it wasn't his fault what his parents decided to share, but Harry-

Molly cut across it wasn't his decision either!

"Hey!" Sirius barked in outrage.

"He's the only one who should get to decide," James agreed dangerously. He'd spent hours now hating the world that left Sirius the one doing so, but he'd had to come to the acceptance of it all the same. Who was Molly to be saying anything otherwise?! Harry was just a friend of one of her kids!

Her normally kind face was looking dangerous as she reminded Sirius of what Dumbledore had said.

"He's less of a right than Sirius!" Lily sneered back, looking quite dangerous herself Harry noted. "Who's Dumbledore to be telling Sirius anything to do with Harry? Merlin, we left Sirius as Harry's Godfather, and even if it's not recognized because of that stupid bloody thing everyone thinks he did, those who do know better should respect it!"

Sirius asked her of which part with the air of bracing himself for a fight.

Molly shot back the part about telling Harry more than he needed to know.

"Dumbledore needs to get a grip on what he thinks everyone needs to know," Remus snapped hatefully. First trying to keep Harry at such a terrible place he didn't want to be at, now trying to enforce Sirius do his dirty work as well, where did the man think he got the right to control them like this?

Almost everyone was watching the pair like a tennis rally.

"I imagine this would be quite a show under most circumstances," James muttered as he was honestly having a bit of a hard time picturing it. Someone they'd never even really met arguing with his best friend about the circumstances of how much his infant son should know about the Order while he wasn't even in the picture.

Lupin's eyes were fixed only on Sirius.

Sirius came a second too close to snapping, 'thanks for the backup Moony,' but managed to stop himself just in time as it really wasn't fair to be turning his temper on him now when he had just snapped in agreement with him. At least his friend Remus was still acting the same as he should be, whereas they'd still yet to see their friend really taking on his normal roll of anything regarding Sirius or Harry in this twisted future.

Sirius said back he wasn't going to be saying more than needed to be known, but Harry was the one who saw Voldemort come back, (ignoring as always the shiver that passed everyone except Harry, Remus, and Sirius at the mention of that name,) and Harry had more a right than anyone-

Molly cut him off he was only fifteen!

"Don't you cut him off just because he's making a good point," James muttered petulantly.

Sirius instantly snapped back he'd dealt with just as much as the Order at that age!

Harry couldn't stop a soft little smile creeping across his face for that. He hadn't even spoken those words to Sirius, and yet his godfather really did seem to know him so well as he'd said the same thing Harry had been thinking for a month.

Mrs. Weasley icily agreed no one was denying what he'd done, but-

Sirius cut her off to remind he wasn't a child!

Molly snapped right back he wasn't an adult either, he wasn't James!

Sirius looked like he'd just been kicked in the sack. What exactly had he been saying for Molly to insinuate that? Had he really lost a chunk of his mind in Azkaban to really not be able to tell the difference between them sometimes? Sure they looked a lot the same, but he wouldn't really-

James's face had been steadily growing more red the more he got out of Molly talking to his brother like that, but the moment he realized she'd just shot the lowest of blows at him he switched to several shades too pale for his normal coloring and stated in a flat, cold voice, "Molly just lost any of my respect."

"Dad!" Harry yelped defensively at once. He couldn't say he was pleased at Molly's coddling of him in this moment, but that was too far for him of someone he cared deeply for.

"I'm not going to let her get away with talking to him like that," James vowed without a change in expression. "Not after all he's been through, what he's still going through."

Harry glanced around beseechingly, but he didn't see anyone who didn't disagree with James. Harry winced as he did admit that Mrs. Weasley had crossed a line with that remark, but Harry still wished they'd cut her some slack as she was speaking out of anger and clearly trying to look out for him even if it was in the wrong way.

Sirius said back flatly he was perfectly clear who Harry was.

Sirius wished he had that same confidence in his future self. Despite how warmed he was James was using that icy tone, that no one in here had even thought to question the remark besides him, he honestly wondered if it was needed as Sirius wasn't as convinced that he wasn't just a bit loose around the edges, if maybe he did sometimes get the two swapped. He'd like to think he never got that bad, but well, twelve years was a long time, and he'd be wishing he had James back now more than ever in that hated place...

Molly said she wasn't as sure, the way he went on sometimes it was as if he thought he had his best friend back.

Remus suddenly realized they were the only ones enraged over this, and that in fact Sirius was trying to burrow himself into his seat and not looking at anyone, but instead seemed almost guilty of his future actions. James was too distracted by half reading, and half forcing himself not to shout as Remus leaned in to whisper, "Sirius mate, you know that's not happening to you, it never could."

Sirius only nodded as answer, and while he'd have liked more, Remus let it go for now.

Sirius should know that Harry was still in school and be responsible enough not to forget it.

Sirius demanded back, his voice rising with every word, that she was implying he was an irresponsible godfather?

Lily had said a lot about Sirius before, but never that, and she was right behind whatever nasty retorts James was interlacing as he forced himself to keep going.

Molly said it meant Sirius had been known to act rashly, which was exactly why Dumbledore was making him stay at home.

"I'm going to kill Dumbledore doing that to you!" James finally broke and yelled that bit, regretting it instantly as it only started his son crying again. Giving the book a nasty toss aside, he took him from Lily and cradled him in his arms for a moment to calm himself as much as his baby it seemed. "Don't," he said without looking up when he'd seen Harry moving out of the corner of his eye. "I'll get it in a second, just let me," he took a deep breath as he kept his baby to him for an extra second, but now the child had calmed himself back down he didn't seem to want to move again as he nestled into the crook of James's neck. Sighing with content, he managed to keep him there while summoning the book back to him, and managed to keep hold of both while forcing himself to keep going. At least now he couldn't lose his temper.

Molly turned on her husband then for backup, but Arthur took his sweet time in answering that now Harry was here, he should know some things.

Mrs. Weasley snarled back there was a difference between that and inviting him to ask whatever he wanted.

"I'm still struggling to understand where she feels she gets the right to say anything regarding Harry," Remus snarled under his breath as he massaged his temple.

Lupin cut in then, while Molly looked to him almost hopefully like she thought she now had an ally,

"Remus, if you actually agree with her on this, I will hold you down myself and watch them take your head off," Lily promised.

Remus just nodded silently, knowing he wouldn't fight back. If he really had changed so much he'd side with her over Sirius, then there wasn't anything left of his Marauder heritage. It didn't even matter if he disagreed with Sirius, he should stand by him anyways to her face.

but all he said was that Harry should be given the general picture from them rather than, other means. His tone made it obvious he was aware a few Extendable Ears were still around.

"There's my Moony still in there," James at least seemed to approve of this answer.

Molly was breathing heavily as she glared at everyone, giving in at last, but saying that Dumbledore had his best intentions in trying to prevent this.

Sirius bit back he wasn't her son!

Molly shot right back he was as good as.

Sirius felt a burn vanishing all his ire at her. Suddenly another woman flashed across his mind, of Euphemia Potter saying the same thing about him so many years ago now. He'd realized the Weasley's had unofficially adopted Harry, he just hadn't realized how much it paralleled his own family with the Potters. He hadn't even really been the one so angry with her right now, to worried for his own state of mind and what he could have been seeing while Harry wasn't there, and now he was confident he really couldn't say a word against her. Not after he now saw those fierce hazel eyes claiming him as Molly had just done for Harry.

Demanding who else he had?

"The fact that she even needs to ask," Lily's harsh tone came out muffled through her gritted teeth. She'd hated that sting of replacement several times now, but none worse than this where Molly was actively trying to block Sirius from doing his job, what Lily honestly wouldn't even be doing in that moment was hurting so bad she never could have imagined this feeling.

Sirius bitterly reminded he had him!

Molly's lip curled meanly as she reminded he hadn't been doing much good in Azkaban before now.

James couldn't actually allow his temper to snap again with his little charge nodding off while still trying to hold onto conscious trying to catch at his father's flyaway hair, so it just wasn't as satisfying watching Lily and Remus look ready to deck her any second like he knew he wanted to. It was least helpful of all Harry, nor Sirius were on the same boat, both were watching the three of them almost pitifully, though neither risking saying anything to the contrary it was clear they didn't fully agree. James didn't understand how Sirius could be so on this woman's side right now, how he wasn't the angriest of them all, and he would demand answers from him once his kid fell asleep and they had a real excuse to pause, but for now he forced himself to read past that moment that shouldn't exist.

Sirius began rising from his seat, but Lupin cut across both of them Molly wasn't the only one at this table who cared about Harry, and for Sirius to sit down.

"Not one word Sirius, or I'll mute you," Remus promised, his eyes still flashing dangerously as Sirius looked to try cracking a dog joke at a time like this.

Mrs. Weasley was still trembling with fury, while Sirius had to slowly force himself to retake his seat. **

Then Lupin turned to Harry and said he should have a say in this.

"Do you really think he'd say anything against Sirius' side?" James forced himself to ask slowly and calmly, better than starting to shoot curses at someone who wasn't here.

"No, but it was still a valid point," Remus huffed without looking at him, his eyes still focused dangerously on the book. Remus was really wishing that instead of telling Sirius to cool it, he was instead ripping Molly a new one for bringing that up.

Harry instantly agreed he wanted to be told what was going on. He did not look at Mrs. Weasley as he said this, too touched by her saying he was as good as her son, but also impatient with her mollycoddling. He wasn't a child.

Mrs. Weasley's voice cracked as she turned on her own kids plus Hermione, telling them to get out.

"Again, I am going to point out, where does she have the say to be telling Hermione anything," Lily hissed, far past caring she hadn't said much coherent besides that lately, this woman was pushing every last one of her buttons. "It should be up to her own parents to decide!"

Harry honestly felt like maybe Mrs. Weasley could claim there, as perhaps the Grangers had left Mrs. Weasley in charge of their daughter and what all she could know, but that was an honest guess as he had no clue of Hermione's parents relationship with anyone. He was honestly just trying to think of any defense for someone who'd touched him so deeply, but he still couldn't bring himself to undermine his own mother.

Fred and George shouted back at once they were of age, while Ron demanded if Harry could why couldn't he?

"Sadly, the parents original points against their own children still stand," Sirius said under his breath, clearly the only one going to do so, though he had no doubts all those being removed would pounce on Harry the moment he was alone.

While all Ginny could protest was that she wanted to stay.

"Poor Ginny really doesn't have any kind of excuse," Sirius muttered absently.

Mrs. Weasley began forbidding any such thing, but again Arthur cut her off, saying the twins were of age and could hear at least this.

"I- he couldn't have said that when they'd be saying that all summer! Why does he cut in now to back them up?" Lily balked at the randomness of this.

"I suppose Mr. Weasley still wouldn't let them into the Order meetings, but now when I'm hopefully just going to get a few questions answered, he thought that was okay than whatever the twins were trying to ask," Harry offered.

Molly was going scarlet as she forced herself to agree with this,

"Can't baby them all forever," Lily snapped grimly.

but then she tried to insist that Ron, but Ron cut her off it didn't matter, Harry would just tell him anyways, then suddenly he phrased it as a question as he looked at Harry.

"Now why did he ask you that?" James raised a still fuming brow. "Would have been much stronger if he'd thrown that out not as a question."

"Guess he thought I was still too pissed at him to hold his weight," Harry sighed as some pesky part of his mind snipped he just may not.

For a split second, Harry considered telling Ron that he wouldn't tell him a single word, that he could try a taste of being kept in the dark and see how he liked it.

"Ouch, Harry sure knows how to get his revenge point across," Remus winced as he watched Harry flinch at such a thing being spoken, he was not proud of that thought.

"I can't see him doing it," James said without looking up, "angry he is, but he's never been petty."

But the nasty impulse vanished as they looked at each other.

James nodded without surprise while Lily gave her son a pleased smile and Harry basked just for a moment in his parents happiness at that.

Mrs. Weasley entirely lost her temper as she shouted at Ginny to get to bed, now!

Ginny did not go quietly.

Harry gave a light chuckle to himself at that little spitfire, he had no doubts Ginny may well be clever enough to be going through the twins stuff the moment her mother was back out of sight and try to sneak back down with an Extendable Ear.

She stormed up the stairs and made such a racket Mrs. Black's ear splitting portrait began shrieking again, while Lupin ran off to restore calm to that.

"What he's usually best at," Sirius gave a half hearted smile that didn't match the still sour tone of the room.

Only when he returned next to Sirius did his godfather ask Harry what he wanted to know?

"I really do love how open ended you are with him," James forced a smile that felt like cracking plaster. At least he'd tried though, and it was as good as any attempt he could make at praising how Sirius was handling his son.

Harry took a deep breath and asked the question that had obsessed him for the last month.

Lily hummed as a stirring of emotions still bothered her for that being true, Dumbledore better show his white beard around soon to explain that mess, but listened eagerly to this news that should have long since been given to her son.

Where was Voldemort? What had he been doing? He'd been trying to find out through the Muggle news but couldn't find anything.

Sirius said that was because he hadn't been causing any funny deaths, as far as they knew, which was quite a lot.

More than he thought they did, Lupin added.

"Well that's nice at least," Remus tried, unintentionally Harry was sure, for the same smile he'd offered him that same night.

Harry asked why he'd stopped killing then, as Harry knew he had done so at least twice in the past year.

"Well don't say it like it's such a bad thing Harry," James muttered.

Sirius said it was because he was trying not to draw attention to himself, his comeback hadn't gone off as he'd wanted to, Lupin agreed Harry had messed it up for him with a satisfied smile.

"Well at least someone's having fun with this," Lily almost managed a smirk for Harry's now bewildered face.

Harry asked how, and Sirius reminded he wasn't supposed to have survived.

"But I'm glad you did by the way," Sirius inserted as James's small face twitch showed Sirius hadn't at the time.

Nobody apart from his Death Eaters was supposed to know, but Harry had come back and instantly informed Dumbledore.

Harry asked how that had been helpful, and Bill reminded that You-Know-Who was only scared of one person, the very same Dumbledore. While Sirius added that thanks to Harry, Dumbledore had managed to recall the Order of the Phoenix in an hour after Voldemort's return.

"That really is some brilliant timing though," James really did smile this time. "If we'd been able to do that the first time around, I'm actually positive far more lives could be saved, a lot more could be done to cramp him up more often."

"It's not the one with the most pieces, but the one with the most knowledge," Remus agreed while both his friends rolled their eyes at him and his word wisdom talk again.

Harry asked what the Order had been doing then?

Sirius said they'd been trying to work against Voldemort carrying out his plans, which Harry interrupted to ask how they knew what those were.

"I thought that you put that one together yourself," Lily reminded Harry of his last year and watching Dumbledore give Sirius those orders.

"I was still aiming for more specifics than my guessing," Harry defended.

Lupin told that Dumbledore had a shrewd idea, and Dumbledore's ideas were normally accurate.

"I do like how you sidestepped actually giving an answer to that," Sirius told him sarcastically.

While Harry asked what Dumbledore's idea was then?

"And Harry fell for it," James said tragically, he'd have never let Moony get away with that.

Sirius said that first of all, Voldemort was trying to get his numbers back up. He used to have countless witches and wizards he'd bullied and bewitched to work for him, plus a plethora of Dark creatures.

Remus tried his hardest to smother the flinch that gave him, he really hated his job for the Order and had no delusions he'd pick back up on it for Dumbledore's orders.

He wasn't going to try taking on the Ministry with a handful of Death Eaters.

Harry watched those around him smile without humor at the idea, but then why did he get a nasty little pit swelling inside of him at the idea of that?

So they were trying to make people aware Voldemort was back to keep them on guard, they'd be less of a target for Voldemort that way, but it was proving tricky.

Harry asked why, and Tonks explained it was Cornelius Fudge.

"Still can not wrap my head around anyone being that dense," James muttered in disgust as his infants heavy breathing began lightly filling his ears, at least encouraging him to keep a gentle volume even while referring back to something he hated.

Harry tried to ask why he was being so stupid, while Arthur said it all boiled down to Dumbledore.

Tonks agreed Fudge was frightened of him.

"He's what now?" Lily demanded like she thought James was playing a joke.

Arthur added on frightened of what Dumbledore was up to.

"He's up to trying to save your useless arses," Remus still had his head cocked to the side as he tried to find any other way to interpret this news and coming up short.

Fudge thinks Dumbledore's plotting to overthrow him.

There was a moment of silence where you could hear crickets chirping in the background after the stupidity of that statement. None of the others could even think to add anything onto it, and James had to remember how to get past such a new level of stupid to even keep going.

He thinks Dumbledore wants to be Minister of Magic.

"But he doesn't," Remus said slowly and clearly, trying to form a proper sentence again. "If he did, he'd have done it ages ago."

"I think Fudge and Vernon could form their own group of idiots, but they're too dense to understand how to put together the meeting," Sirius muttered.

Harry tried to say Dumbledore didn't want, while Arthur agreed everyone knew Dumbledore didn't want the job, even though a lot of people had told him he should take it after Millicent Bagnold had retired.

"I'd still take her over this dunderhead any day," Lily sniffed, "pull her out of retirement or something, please!"

Fudge had never forgotten though how popular Dumbledore was when he took office, even if deep down he knew how much more clever than him Dumbledore was and how back in the early days he'd been asking for Dumbledore's help with his new position all the time.

"I would so love to pay someone to follow him around and try to at least get him to admit that though," James huffed.

He was now enjoying his new power too much, and he'd convinced himself Dumbledore was making this all up to cause trouble.

"That doesn't even make sense, about anything!" Lily still insisted as if hoping repeating this enough would make anyone see sense.

Harry was getting angry now as he asked how anyone could think that, that Harry would make it all up?

"Fudge was there when you, when-" Lily had to swallow hard to phrase that without crying from remembrance of what her son had been through, "outside that maze. There just isn't a way possible he could explain that away!"

"Apparently deniability stretches so far it can block even the worst of memories, I almost envy him," Remus stated.

Sirius explained that if he accepted Voldemort was back, it would put the Ministry in a state of fear they hadn't had to cope with in fourteen years.

"Just because you're pretending it's not happening doesn't mean it's not," James felt a growl building in his throat as he got that out, but the vibrating was already stirring his restless charge and he forced himself to temper off.

Lupin switched back to explaining the problem with the Ministry denying Voldemort's return, it put the rest of the populace in a dangerous position of being made unaware anything was happening, leaving them all vulnerable to the Imperius Curse for starters.

Harry felt a shiver creep up his spine at that idea of so many left unprotected, all the damage Fudge was doing to countless people just because he was afraid. Harry had now seen fear do so many things to people, and yet he still couldn't imagine acting in those same ways.

Harry looked around the table beseechingly as he asked if anyone was telling?

Sirius gave a humorless smile as he reminded that with a ten thousand galleon price on his head,

"Really? That was actually more than I was expecting. You think if- ouch!" He yelped as Remus smacked him hard for making light of that.

he could hardly stroll around the street handing out fliers.

"Oh but it would be so much more interesting if I did," Sirius persisted, trying to duck around Moony's swinging hand now, "what better impact than- ouch, Lily!"

Her eyes flashed, threatening to use worse than a stinging hex on him if he kept poking fun at this while his friends still adopted fear filled looks at any mention of it. Sirius honestly just did because it made him feel better to pretend this was funny than be reminded who had put him in this situation, but held his tongue back nonetheless in hopes the subject would just be changed off of him.

Lupin added next that he was not a popular dinner guest, as being a werewolf tended to be an occupational hazard.

"Remus," James began in agitation.

"What? I'm not wrong," he shot back at once with his arms crossed.

"We still hate the way you phrase that," Lily snipped at him, while he rolled his eyes at the lot of them. There really wasn't a nice way to say it, though they all tried to pretend otherwise.

Harry was just gazing sadly at Remus for a moment as an extra surge of hatred flashed for Snape, Skeeter, and everyone else who had been making Remus' name so public of late. It's no wonder if he'd been doing worse since he'd left Hogwarts, he clearly had a hard life without people automatically reacting to his name.

Sirius added on for them that Tonks and Arthur would get fired if they tried anything, and they needed people inside the Ministry they could trust.

They have managed to convince a few though, Arthur added on, Tonks and Kingsley for instance. Kingsley in particular was useful to have on their side, as he was leading the hunt for Sirius.

James had to cut off his snort of amusement with a small cough instead as he turned worried eyes on Sirius, though at least his best friend tried to play that off as a joke again. "Now I wonder how that meeting went? Would really hope I sat in on that one, though do you think it's too much to ask Kingsley to start spreading word of just how dumb it is to be looking for me at all?"

"Well my liking for Kingsley just went up tenfold," Remus muttered.

He'd instead been giving false information that Sirius was in Tibet.

"Bleh, no way could I survive out there, I couldn't stand replacing my diet with yak milk."

"I am going to smack you," Lily promised him.

Harry began in confusion if no one was spreading word, but Sirius reminded about Dumbledore, and pointed out why he was in so much trouble with the Ministry lately.

"Ah," they all muttered, at least Dumbledore was doing something besides annoying the piss out of all of them.

He'd been going around telling anyone and everyone with a trace of fear that Voldemort was back, and the Ministry was trying to retaliate by discrediting him as an old man losing his grip. They'd already taken away his Chairmanship on the International Confederation of Wizards and had voted him out of his Chief Warlock position on the Wizengamot. They were even trying to take away his Order of Merlin, First Class.

"Can they actually take that away once it's given to you?" Harry frowned at a rather mean blow in his opinion.

"Only if they can prove he didn't rightfully earn it in the first place," James shrugged without much care.

Bill added on with a grin Dumbledore said he didn't care though so long as they didn't take him off his Chocolate Frog Card.

"That sounds like Dumbledore," Remus muttered almost wistfully, still half hoping to hear the return of the headmaster they knew and trusted rather than this control freak ruining both Harry and Sirius' life of late.

Arthur snipped at his son this wasn't a time for laughing,

"I think you all need a few good laughs," James mumbled pitifully, wondering when his friends had fallen out of that business, knowing it had happened at the point he'd stopped being around turning them into these cold, barely recognizable people.

if Dumbledore carried on in this way he'd wind up in Azkaban.

"I'm honestly not convinced that place could hold him," Lily said mostly to herself, "or more over, that they could get him there."

"Can't deny it would be a show to watch them try though," Remus sighed without any humor.

Harry stared oddly at them for a moment but was too distracted to really let that sink in.

Harry asked if Voldemort was recruiting for more Death Eaters, word was bound to get out that he was back then.

Sirius reminded Voldemort didn't exactly go door to door to do this.

"Yeah, he only did that to Crouch, and that didn't seem to work out too well for him," Sirius finished himself with a roll of his eyes, then went cross eyed as he realized what he did.

James was just ignoring him at this point.

He tricked, jinxed, and blackmailed them all as subtly as possible. He also had bigger plans than just that.

When Sirius hesitated, Harry pushed what else while Sirius and Lupin exchanged a look.

"Now you're asking the real questions," Lily said a bit eagerly, her boys reacting that way must mean Harry was starting to scratch at what supposedly was too much information.

Sirius began slowly and carefully that it was something he could only get by stealth.

Harry automatically guessed it was a weapon, adding on he didn't have it last time?

Sirius agreed, and Harry wanted to know if it was more powerful than the most deadly curse, but Mrs. Weasley broke in that was enough!

"Damn that woman!" Sirius barked in frustration, causing all of them to jump, though thankfully the baby slept on. "If I want to tell Harry every little detail, would you just let me get on with it."

"You're just pissed because she cut in at the good part," Harry softly rebuked.

Sirius shrugged as he wasn't going to deny that while the others were just happy to see their normal Sirius again agreeing with them.

Harry hadn't realized she'd come back, but she marched into the full room again and snapped at every last one of them they'd heard enough, now get to bed.

Fred began protesting she couldn't boss them-

"Actually, I'm sure she can right to your own place," Lily muttered tersely, in no mood to defend her, especially to the twins, but that one had come out on impulse.

she snapped back he was going to watch her do it. Then she turned still burning eyes on Sirius and said Harry had been told enough, any more and he may as well be inducted into the Order.

"Please, please just ignore her and keep right on going," Remus placed his hands together and actually pleaded, there was no way she could actually cut off there when that had been a real answer for once!

Harry instantly agreed to the idea, but the word no was spoken sharply again, this time by Lupin.

"Remus James Lupin, I am renouncing your middle name just for that," James huffed at him, though his eyes were too dark for the joke, it was clear he didn't actually find it funny Moony had switched sides.

"You know I hate it when you call me that you twit," Remus huffed, though there was no force to his return, he felt bad himself like he'd give himself a good smack as well.

"Exactly why he did it," Sirius pointed out as he slumped back into his seat with a pout.

Remus turned on him and was fixing to start a snip right back, but Lily cut them off by telling them to hush so that James could hopefully find out just a little bit more.

The Order was only comprised of those overage, and had left school, he finished with a look at the twins.

"Honestly I don't see why though," Remus butted in, whether to keep in his friends good graces or honestly meaning it they weren't sure. Honestly it was just a sight to watch him argue with himself for a moment no one was going to stop him. "I think some spies in school would be just as useful, could surprise the lot of them how much you learn in that castle."

"Well I won't say I'm not pleased they haven't stepped that far yet," Lily rolled her eyes, thinking telling Harry these things was one thing, but actually going full through with making him an official member and expecting him to do work for them while in school really was pushing it. There did still have to be some priorities.

Then he turned to Sirius and told Molly was right, they'd said enough.

Sirius just shrugged and didn't argue.

James's face puckered as he honestly struggled to imagine that. Not his Padfoot, who had to be almost physically restrained from backing down from any fight, who only did so while still grumbling that he hadn't gotten his last say in like he was still doing now for his and Remus' tiff. The dynamic between Remus and Sirius' friendship had clearly changed just as much as the two themselves, and James was sick of hearing about these strangers passing as his friends.

Mrs. Weasley beckoned imperiously to her sons and Hermione. One by one they stood up and Harry, recognizing defeat, followed suit.

"Chapter's done," James announced as he gave the book another careless toss away, and got up to put his infant down for a proper nap.

HPHPHPHP

There's a lot of Molly lovers, and a lot of Molly haters, and most of them all center around this chapter. Really, like with Ron in the last book, there's no way to make everyone happy, but I do hope you enjoyed this chapter and what I ultimately had them all feeling for her. I won't deny this chapter truly did annoy me, as Sirius is given so much crap from Molly and Dumbledore telling him how to treat Harry when in every way possible it should be Sirius' decision. This will be the worst of what's said about her, I did promise and I will never break that promise that this'll never hit bashing territory for any character. Everyone gets a fair shake with me, as everyone does have their high and low points.

* You know, I'm actually not sure what that is supposed to be. Probably is something random we're just never told about. I kicked around a few ideas, like the Ministry for one though I can't come up with a reason why they'd need building plans for that place since people from the Ministry work there, but I suppose it could be documents of the Department of Mysteries, but I honestly doubt those plans exist and no one of the Order's been inside there, so I'd love some suggestions of other places those plans could be.

**I'm aware that Sirius technically was 'the first of thirteen to rise and so the first to die,' in that moment, but honestly it'll never be brought up by my characters as they won't be digging past the moment to realize that. Just something fun I enjoyed seeing someone point out once.

[dirt-cup-draco]

Fred x Reader- Foolproof (2/2)

Previously:

“You could do it, ya know,” You found your voice had become but a whisper and Fred leaned in to hear you. “You and George could open a shop, it’d be great, I’m sure of it,”

 The smile on his face was worth the comment you had thought about biting back. He looked genuinely surprised yet pleased. “I don’t tell many people about what our plans are,” Fred admitted and your chest swelled with pride. He trusted you. “Goodnight Y/N,” He said his farewells, ducking his head to press a lingering kiss to your cheek. 

You thought you could hear him laughing softly to himself at your boggled expression. 

Now what had you gotten yourself into? As you settled down for bed, you could feel Fred’s kiss burn against your cheek, the feeling lingering until sleep claimed you.

Two more weeks had come and gone, the trees had been bared of all of their leaves and you were now wishing for snow, yet the temperature never seemed to drop low enough to bring what you desired. You were praying that sometime soon you would wake to see the grounds blanketed and the black lake frozen over. You found yourself wishing that Fred would also be frozen over in the black lake, having grown more annoyed with the Weasley than you ever had in your whole time of knowing him

All good things, no matter if it was a lie, had to come to an end apparently. 

It seemed like every few moments he was looking between you and Angelina before adjusting something, whether that be pulling you into his lap or wrapping his arm securely around your shoulder. Then came the questions that bounced around in your mind because he repeated them so often it’d be impossible to forget.

Was Angie looking? Did she look upset? Is this working?

You supposed they were good questions to ask, she was the reason behind your fake dating after all. The reason you could even claim to your friends you had a boyfriend, even if it was all blasphemy. This was for her, not you. Fred wanted Angelina, and not you. You hadn’t meant to start thinking this way but it had become impossible.

Even when wrapped up in a lie, Fred was so genuine. His honesty was refreshing and he had brightened up your life considerably. You cared for Fred of course, you had been friends for years, but this went beyond that now and you were moving into dangerous territory. Every date left your stomach in knots and every smile had a roller coaster swerving on the tracks of said knots, with tiny screaming butterflies strapped in and unable to turn the ride off.

You felt sick.

“Fred,” You spoke his name softly as you sat among his friends and brother. He was loudly joking, his body shaking with laughter as his familiar grip around your waist tightened. “Fred, can we go talk?” You asked again a bit louder and he finally took notice, as did George and Lee.

“Ooooh, someone’s in trouble,” Lee laughed and George elbowed him square in the gut with a simple “shut it,” tacked on.

Fred seemed to search for something as his eyebrows knit to the center of his forehead. “Sure love, lead the way,” He mumbled, wondering why you looked so serious all of a sudden. Had he done something wrong?

Your heart was a lump in your throat as you led him outside of the great hall and to one of the many out of the way corridors he had been showing you over the past couple weeks. “Look Fred, this past month has been fun but-”

You were cut off as Fred started laughing. “Wait, wait, are you breaking up with me?”

“And what if I am?” You asked, suddenly upset. Why was it so bizarre for you to want this to be over? You had done all you could and if Angie wasn’t biting then maybe it wasn’t meant to be. You had already invested too much into this and into Fred. You couldn’t do it anymore without giving away more of yourself and rocking the foundation that kept you from collapsing and admitting the truth to him. You liked Fred Weasley, love him even, and you couldn’t ever let that come to light.

Fred scoffed, blowing air through his nose as he thought over it. “Because! We haven’t done what we wanted to do yet! Angie still-”

“For fuck’s sake Fred! That’s just it, isn’t it? We aren’t a we! This is you with me following along like a complete and utter fool. ” You tossed your hands in the air as he brought her up. You were friends with Angelina, you didn’t know her well but this was ridiculous and it wasn’t fair of him. “What’s so wrong with you just telling her how you feel? Why muddy other people’s lives just to get another girl you’ll be bored of in a couple of weeks?”

You couldn’t help your scathing judgement as something ugly reared up inside you. You didn’t want to hear about Angelina anymore but more importantly than that you didn’t want to hear Fred talk about Angelina. You were tired of the pretending and you were tired of pretending to be cared about. The corners of your eyes prickled with the telltale sign of tears and you wouldn’t, couldn't, cry in front of him.

You escaped before Fred could stop you, ducking around him as his arm shot out to try and catch you. You didn’t turn around when he hollered your name, even if there had been confusion in his voice and something that sounded close to hurt. If only he knew how much he was hurting you.

--

Fred was moping, he realized as you ignored him the morning after you'd gotten cross with him. It was difficult for him to roll out of bed so he decided to just stay under the covers, staring at the wall and wondering where he had gone wrong. You had seemed fine the day before, sure you hadn’t been as talkative when he asked what he could do next to catch Angie’s attention but he had assumed you were just bored.

Maybe that was it. You were bored and so you were breaking off the set up you two had spent weeks on. You looked like a convincing couple and more than that, you acted like it! Fred noticed the way you were started to reach for his hand to hold when you saw him and how when he cracked a joke you would smile, even if the joke wasnt any good. You were perfectly convincing! It was perfect, it was like you weren’t even acting at all.

Fred rolled over in his bed once. Then twice. “Fuck,”

“What was that mate?” George asked, springing up at his bedside as if summoned by his twin’s abnormal tone.

Fred sighed, running his palm over his face as he took a deep breath. He couldn’t be right, you wouldn’t ever want anything to do with him! Yet he had never seen an expression on your face like the one he had been putting there with his foolish little ‘dates’ and even more idiotic pet names. The ones you paid attention to every single day...

“I’ve messed up with Y/N,” Fred spoke honestly and George grimaced.

“Is that what she wanted to talk about yesterday? I would’ve hit Lee harder if I knew you two were actually going to get into a fight. I’m feelin’ quite lucky I”m not in a relationship,”

“We’re not,” Fred said dumbly, only now realizing that you had seemed uncomfortable all during lunch and it had only gone downhill from there, especially in the hall when he had brought up Angelina.

We aren’t a we! This is you with me following along like a complete and utter fool. He recalled what you said and it was starting to shed new light on your maybe not so sudden outburst.

“She dumped you?” George asked like it was the worst sin anyone could possible commit. “Oh, you deserve so much better though, she’s a real piece of work-”

“She didn’t dump me Georgie,” Fred said through gritted teeth, frustrated because he didn’t know what to do or think or feel. “It was all fake, I wanted to catch Angie’s eye so I pretend to shack up with Y/N... It seemed like it was going well but I think that Y/N might have feelings for me,”

George could hardly believe it and Fred felt guilty seeing the way his twin was looking at him. He just hadn’t thought to tell him and then they were in too deep to the lie. It wasn’t that he didn’t think George could have helped, it just hadn’t occurred to him to share.

“You absolute tosser!” George pointed an accusing finger at Fred’s face. Fred tried to sink back into his pillows as his brother stood above him. “Y/N is lovely and our friend and you used her to get close to another girl?”

“Bit quick changing your tune aren’t you?” Fred winced as George hit the nail on the head.

He was right though, you were lovely.ou were absolutely wonderful and he had gotten to know you differently over the past month. You didn’t like brownies much unless they were like fudge, you loved the winter and hated the summer. Chrysanthemums were your favorite flower and you liked classic rock muggle music. More than that, you had confided in him about how you felt like you weren’t as desirable as the other girls around you, you’d never been in a relationship before and that could be isolating as a teen.

You had confided in him and he had used you. Now he felt like garbage.

“I love you, I really do,” George promised before swatting Fred upside the head, “but couldn’t you have just told Angelina? With how Y/N looks at you, I thought it was all real,”

“Really just rubbing it in aren’t you?”

“Someone has to consider her feelings in all this,” George pointed out and Fred’s chest constricted painfully.

“I didn’t mean to hurt her!” Fred argued, sitting up in bed as the guilt pressed down on him. “I really didn’t mean to... a month ago she agreed to fake this relationship with me, I figured that meant she didn’t have feelings for me,”

“That doesn’t mean feelings can’t grow over time. Just try and talk to her,” George advised, patting Fred on the back before he had to be getting on to class. Maybe it was good if Fred sat alone with his thoughts for a while.

--

Being alone with his thoughts did him no good. Fred still hadn’t found the courage to talk to you but he told himself it was because you were busy, and then it was because he was respecting your privacy. Lately though, he was honest enough to understand you were avoiding him.  It had been two long weeks and he was going mad.

He hadn’t realized how close you two had become until you were staying as far away from his as possible. Your attendance had been spotty, something he noticed the day after you had ‘dumped him’. When you did come to class you took a seat in the back if he was up front or a seat up front if he was in the back, it didn’t even matter if you were sitting to someone you didn’t know you just didn’t want to be around him.

Fred didn’t like how it made him feel. He especially didn’t like when he looked your way and you seemed to be physically there but not mentally. Your eyes were puffy as if you had been crying and he couldn’t help but kick himself over it. You were usually so put together and that wasn’t to say you didn’t still look as precious as always but he noticed it in the way you didn’t bother to straighten your tie and your hair wasn’t as immaculate as you like it to be. He hated seeing you sad. More than that, he hated seeing you sad because of him.

Even when he had been a lot, and he knew he could be a lot, you were there to ease him down from his hyperactivity and get his mind focused whether it be on the conversation or quidditch talk or his schoolwork. You were easy to talk with and you didn’t once get upset with him even if you gave him a bad time about his stupid jokes. You were accepting and you gave him more chances than any girl ever had.

He moved on so often because he thought no one could handle him. Fred figured his mom seemed irritated with him most of the time, why would a girl want to date him and be around that all the time? It was easy to know someone on a shallow level and skip getting to the commitment part. Which was maybe why he liked Angie. She was empathetic, witty, and a good friend. They both liked quidditch and he figured why not her? But as he sat and thought about, he wouldn’t want to tell her about the shop, about his dreams and his hopes and his future.

Angelina was great but he worried she would be one of the people who would laugh at his and George’s dream, tell him that they were so funny thinking they could achieve that. But he knew they could, and you knew they could. You had been approving and supportive and he trusted you as you trusted him. You were different, you weren’t Angie, and maybe that was a good thing. Fred liked Angie, but he loved you.

--

Two weeks had been too long with no word and you were certain now that all of it had been fake. Fred’s affections and smiles and stories were just the description on the back of the book and he hadn’t actually let you read the pages inside the cover. It had been a front and he had played you and used you just so he could find another girl.

You knew you couldn’t blame him completely. You had agreed to join this messy game of his and you thought you would come out on top, or at least unscathed. You could have ended things earlier but how were you supposed to know that you had feelings for him? You hadn’t meant to, you just did. It was unavoidable when it came to Fred.

Even now you were trying to stay cross with him, and it wasn’t as hard as you thought for which you were grateful, but you didn’t want to punch him yet. Was that a good sign or a bad sign? You couldn’t really tell. You just knew that you would be able to hold it together if you didn’t have to deal with him or talk to him ever again.

You were praying that when he eventually got with Angie you would be blinded in a terribly cauldron accident so that you didn’t have to see the pair of them happy together. Selfish? Maybe. Dramatic? Overly so. Yet you were feeling like a lovesick teen and so you felt you deserved to be dramatic. The whole situation made you feel foolish. It was impossible to not fall in love with Fred Weasley.

Even when it started to snow you couldn’t find it in you to smile.

--

Dinner was getting out and Fred was watching you like a hawk as you finished up your meal, not eating as much as you usually would. Your eyelids were heavy and you looked tired. He hoped you were getting sleep... Maybe it was a coincidence and you had just been studying too late. Fred didn’t think he was any reason to lose sleep.

Yet, he found himself losing sleep as he thought about the way you made him feel and if he was in your shoes he’d be frustrated and jealous and hurt above all. You liked him, or at least he hoped, and he had been going on about Angie like she was his destiny.

Tonight was the night he fixed things so that you could both get some rest. No matter what you said, or how you felt, Fred needed to apologize. He needed to set the record straight so you knew how precious you were to him, how everyone else bored him but he could see you in the future with him and George and there joke shop that seemed less like a dream and more like a reality every day.

You rose from your bench and your eyes went straight to the ground, scared of seeing Fred among the crowd. You weren’t hungry anymore and it was probably just best if you went to bed for the night.

You got beyond the doors of great hall, eyelids heavy and shoulders sagging as you shuffled to your common room. Yawning, you were stalled in repeating the password to the person staring down at you from their portrait.

Fred sped up as you paused at the portrait, hand coming up to wave your yawn away as sleep crept up behind you. “Y/N!” He called out, stopping abruptly at your side before you even recognized that he had arrived. You jumped and took two steps back, only to be met with a wall. “I’ve been looking for you,”

Your expression soured as you took in the redheaded boy. He had been looking for you? Was he looking for an apology? Maybe he was here to tell you he had finally gotten that girlfriend he wanted... “I don’t want to talk Fred,” You shoved past him, opening your mouth to repeat the password but stopped you, determined hands grabbing your shoulders.

“Don’t talk then,” He said, holding your cheeks in his hand, crushing his lips to yours, slanting his lips and hoping you would follow suit. You didn’t however, your nose scrunched up and you..you bit him? He pulled away with a sudden jerk, only being more surprised when your palm came from nowhere to slap him across the cheek.

Fred was dumbfounded. You had tears in your eyes.

“Y/N, I-”

“No talking,” You sniffled. “You haven’t talked to me in two weeks and now you think it’s okay to kiss me?! I-I’ve never been kissed before Fred, and I certainly didn’t want it to be because of this mockery of a ‘relationship’ we had... I can do a lot for you Fred, but I can’t be happy about that and I can’t keep going on like this, just leave me alone,”

“No,” Fred said, reaching for you again but you sent him a warning glare that kept him from doing so. “Darling, please... I swear I forgot- ‘bout your first kiss I mean... Wouldn’t have done that if I’d remembered,” He said bashfully, rubbing the back of his neck with worry. “Just let me explain?”

You wanted to be angry, and you were, that had been the most unpleasant first kiss you could have imagined. Yet Fred was standing in front of you with those gorgeous doe eyes and you were becoming quickly powerless to them. “Fine,” You hoped your tone sounded intimidating because you didn’t want Fred thinking he’d gotten off so easy.

“Let me just start with an apology, I never wanted this to hurt you and it took you fake dumping me and George smacking some sense into me that I realized what a selfish git I’ve been and how I really messed up... It wasn’t fair wait I did, especially because at some point it became natural to be with you all the time and take you out. I started thinking about what you might like for a date instead of what Angie might like, but all the while I was trying to make her jealous and that was wrong of me. I thought this whole plan was foolproof but it just left me looking like a fool,”

Fred paused, searching your eyes and asking for permission to continue. It looked like you had been momentarily calmed down and you crossed your arms over your chest before dictating that he could, “Go on, please. I’m liking the bit about how you really messed up,” Fred smiled a bit even if it felt strained.

“I’ll say it as many times as you want, I messed up. I messed up very badly and I used one of the most lovely, giving, patient hearts I’ve ever known. You were right more than once and Angelina isn’t it for me... I just thought she’d be the only one who would be able to handle me. That’s not anyway to think though and with you I’ve realized that I can have someone who loves me like I love them and it doesn’t have to be something as pathetic as me taking the first person who is willing to deal with me...”

“You’re joking,” You said after a minute, eyes narrowed as you took a step forward, poking Fred’s chest angrily. “You’re just trying to get a rise out of me aren’t you? You have to be... You like Angelina, not me,” You added but your voice cracked, your anger dissipating with your oncoming insecurity.

“It’s not a joke,” Fred promised, grabbing your hand the next time you sent a bruising jab to his chest. “For the first time in my entire life, it is not a joke Y/N. I want you,”

“You fucking idiot,” You sniffled. “You better make up for that rubbish first kiss then, because I swear that my first kiss is not going to be from a boy I’m angry at, I’d rather it be from a boy I love,”

Fred followed you into your common room, curling up on the couch alongside you and pulling you nearer and nearer until the gap that he created between you two had been bridged. And after watching the snow fall, and being able to smile about it for the first time, Fred made up for the first kiss, and then the second, and then several more after that.

You were his darling, he was your fool. And that’s exactly how you wanted it to be.

[nelllraiser]

cat burglar | sasha & nell

LOCATION: a warehouse in the bend. PARTIES: @sasha-r-blog​ & @nelllraiser.  SUMMARY: sasha takes it upon herself to stop a break in, and nell is on the wrong end of the matters.  CONTAINS: gun use, gun violence

Another day another dollar was all the witch could think of as Nell lurked outside of an oversized warehouse in The Bend. The human bounties were especially boring to go after seeing as they lacked any upper hand in comparison to magic. At least when she was on the tail of someone supernatural she knew there was an element of surprise- or at least something to keep her on her toes. But money was money, and she still enjoyed bringing in the assholes who skipped out on their bail. Tonight was no different as she peered into one of the windows that paneled the outside of the building, just barely clearing the edge of it so that she might duck down if her quarry glanced her way. Thankfully, he seemed far too busy with counting the pallets that littered the place, scratching his head every now and then while he jotted numbers down in a notebook. All it would take was a simple sleeping spell and he’d be out like a light. But first she needed to get closer, perhaps get a better idea of what exactly it was he was doing in this shitty warehouse. If he were up to no good once again and repeating his criminal past, she wanted to know it about it. Carefully, she pushed her palm against the glass of the window before uttering a quiet spell, and in a moment it had melted away like water, pooling in a puddle on the ground beneath her. While the liquid glass settled, she hooked a leg over the frame of the window as gently as she could, being careful not to make a sound as she made her entrance.

The Bend seemed like the perfect place to look for crime, or at least Sasha assumed it was. In all the movies she’d watched it was usually run down places like where all the criminal stuff happened. So with her makeshift costume on and her change of clothes tucked neatly into her backpack, she made her way there. It didn’t take long to find a good place to perch and keep a lookout. There was a tall, flat roofed brick building at the corner of the block that seemed abandoned. And with a few well placed jumps and some careful footwork she found herself alone at the top, with a good amount of the Bend visible to her. So that was a good start to the night. Unfortunately, it seemed like the promising vantage point wasn’t leading to much. The neighborhood was surprisingly quiet. Sasha did spot a few people, some teenagers meeting up before heading into an alley. But upon closer inspection they were just making out, and Sasha decided to keep her lunch rather than continuing to watch to make sure some murderer didn’t jump out at them. They were probably fine.

It wasn’t until an hour or two later that another bit of movement caught Sasha’s eye. Across the street, next to a large warehouse, was a woman. Sasha moved to the edge of the roof, watching as the woman peaked through the window. Okay, that was suspicious. There were plenty of buildings here that from a quick glance seemed abandoned. But this one, despite seeming run down, at least had intact windows. So probably still in use? Maybe Sasha should have done some research before coming here. But either way, the way the woman was glancing in was clearly suspicious. If it was just some abandoned building to sneak into, why all the weird snooping? Sasha was about to lower herself onto the fire escape for a better view, when she felt a buzzing against her back. Shit. Fumbling with her backpack, Sasha quickly grabbed her phone and turned it to silent. 

Stupid rookie mistake, she should have just left her phone at home. When she turned back toward the woman, the glass in the window was gone, and the suspicious woman was lifting herself into the frame. Cool, good to know that the phone had distracted Sasha so much she completely missed the woman breaking the glass and almost getting inside. That could have been useful info. What if the woman had a crowbar on her to break the glass? Or a gun? Okay, Sasha was pretty sure she would have heard a gun go off even while distracted, but still. She took a deep breath and steadied herself before heading down the fire escape. When she was half way down she took another deep breath, and vaulted over the edge onto the street below, trying her best to land just as she practiced. Classic superhero landing pose, though more Spider Man than Iron Man, she wasn’t about to fist bump the pavement and break her only weapon. 

Despite Sasha’s strangely quiet landing, her clearing throat as she held the pose was likely audible. 

Nell couldn’t help but be paranoid as the hairs of her neck prickled directly before the clearing of a throat sounded behind her. The sound made her jump, though it wasn’t out of fear so much as a gut reaction of defense, head whipping around to look at whatever it was that had disturbed her. In the same movement, she drew a knife from it’s concealed hiding place on her body, brandishing it in front of her and placing it between herself and...what the fuck? Was there some sort of convention in town that she didn’t know about? That was the first thought in the witch’s mind as she took in the rag-tag ensemble before her, eyes not even sure where to land first on the strange mixture of clothing choice. Raking her gaze over the overflow of tiger printed spandex and fake leather, somehow the most confusing thing about the get-up were the razor-sharp teeth that were printed where the person’s mouth should be, stretched over the features that they hid. Where even to begin? “You know if you need some more quality cosplay my dad has an Etsy and worked the professional costume circuit in Vegas for years,” was the only thing she could think to whisper in the direction of this newly appeared enigma. Nevermind that she wasn’t exactly speaking to her father at the moment. 

The rustling of the man moving inside the warehouse was what pulled Nell’s attention away from the knock-off cat-man that had spawned from seemingly nowhere, and she was quickly reminded of why she was here. “Look- can you go play somewhere else?” she hissed under her breath towards the newcomer, not particularly keen on having her bounty disturbed. The words weren’t meant to be demeaning, as Nell truly and simply had no idea what to do with the train wreck that had stuck their nose into her business. What a cosplayer was doing in the middle of the Bend, she hadn’t the faintest idea— but she wasn’t going to let them get in her way. “I’m kinda busy.”

As the woman turned around to look at her Sasha began to rise to her feet and- oh shit, she had a knife! Sasha froze up at the sight of the suddenly brandished weapon. But it was fine, it was cool. Sasha had her own set of knives too. Or rather, The Claw did. 

The woman’s whispering sounded loud and clear in Sasha’s sensitive ears and made her stop right before making her heroic declarations to put down the knife. “I-I’m not a cosplayer and this isn’t some sort of game...”

That sounded cooler in her head, but Sasha continued to stare down the woman. If she was randomly pointing a knife at her that had to mean she was a criminal. Sasha put one of her hands out to the side, fingers curled, ready to summon her claws at any moment. Come on, you can do this.

“I’m The Claw, and I’m here to put a stop to your break in! What’s in there? Money, valuebles, a stockpile of illegal weapons? Whatever it is, you better make your peace with never getting your hands on them.”

Yeah... yeah! I’ve got this! She’s gotta be scared now. 

The somewhat puzzled yet exasperated expression on Nell’s features only grew more scrunched as the mysterious figure spoke. It was a girl. That much she could initially tell from the voice. She’d already parted her lips to ask what exactly the masked interloper was doing here when the knock-off Catwoman spoke again, and the witch’s eyebrows shot skyward in disbelief. “The Claw?” she echoed, a hint of unshared delight entering Nell’s tone. Who the hell ran around in spandex calling them themselves the Claw? She couldn’t stop the quiet chuckle that pressed past her lips as the rest of the girl’s words sank in. “I’m not breaking in. Well- I am breaking in, but I’m not the shitty person here. Make my- make my peace?” Nell sputtered in her continued amusement. “Babe- I hate to be the one to tell you this- actually I don’t really hate it, but-” Her sentence wouldn’t find it’s end as another voice rang out, Nell’s target apparently having overheard enough of their shared noises to finally take notice of the two young woman loitering in his warehouse window.

“Hey!” He called out, already taking angry strides in their direction. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?” he demanded, reaching for some unseen weapon that resided in the inner pocket of his jacket.

The woman was...laughing... at The Claw. Sasha's heart sank, but she tried to replace the feeling with annoyance. The Claw wouldn’t get upset, so Sasha wouldn’t either. She would prove this woman wrong. This woman who apparently didn’t know what a superhero was. This woman who also just admitted to breaking in, as matter of fact! So yeah, even if she laughed at her that wasn’t going to stop Sasha from stopping this criminal. 

Sasha opened her mouth to speak, to cut off whatever excuse or taunt the stranger planned to throw at her, only for another voice to cut both of them off. In the window frame appeared a man, mid 30ss, not exactly friendly looking. Okay so that guy didn’t seem super happy but he also probably just didn’t get that Sasha was trying to help.

“Don’t worry!” She said, putting out a hand, her words faltering slightly when she saw him reaching for something in his jacket. “I’m here to stop this robber from breaking in. I’ve got it under control.”

Truly, Nell hadn’t intended to laugh in a malicious manner, but it was simply too bizarre to witness a self-proclaimed ‘hero’ running around White Crest, fighting crime and toting names such as ‘The Claw.’ She supposed in concept it wasn’t too bizarre. After all White Crest was in desperate need of as much help as it could get. But a masked do-gooder was a far cry from those she usually cleaned up the messes around this town. After all it wasn't as if hunters were running around in capes and hoods. Or...herself for that matter. Of course she’d never consider herself a hero in any sense of the word. She was fairly certain the people that Sasha was trying to emulate didn’t go around torturing sacrifices to bring their loved ones back from the dead. 

Nell’s head whipped around as Sasha and the man’s eyes met, and a frown was quick to turn her lips southwards as she saw him reaching for whatever he was concealing beneath his jacket. While Sasha spoke, Nell did her best to stay between the bounty and The Claw, a threatening and far more serious tone coming from her lips. “Don’t,” she commanded, the words meant both for the criminal and the attempted hero. 

“Or you’ll what?” The grungy man replied with a rough tone as he pulled a gun from its hiding place, training it on both the girls- dipping back and forth between them. “What are two little girls gonna do about it?” 

Nell kept her eyes trained on the man before saying, “Or I’ll start with breaking every finger in your hand, and then see if I wanna start on your other one.” As for The Claw… “You’ve got it wrong- he’s the piece of shit. I’m here to collect his bounty.”

Sasha froze at the sight of the gun, and just as quickly as it was pointed at them the woman moved between her and the man. It took too long for her to process, she should be quick on her feet, she knew that. What hero let someone come between them and a bullet?

“Bounty?” Sasha hated the way her voice squeaked up an octave, but to be fair, this was the first time she had seen a gun in real life and they were about two seconds from getting a much closer look if things kept up. “But you-”

Sasha may have misinterpreted things here. Were bounty hunters even legal? She guessed they weren’t any more illegal than a vigilante. She didn’t really have a good concept of them outside of action movies, and things were getting pretty actiony right now. 

She had barely heard the man speak, barely processed what the woman said either. But suddenly the man moved his hand again, a glint of metal catching in Sasha’s eyes. In hindsight, maybe it was just another threatening motion to get them to back off. But in a panic Sasha felt herself rushing past the woman. She wasn’t thinking. Maybe she should have. The next thing she knew one of her clawed hands was digging into the forearm of the man, the jacket sleeve torn and likely the skin under it as well. She didn’t hear the man's reaction, just an ear shattering bang as the gun hit the ground and misfired into the sidewalk. Sasha could only hear high pitched ringing after that, but she could see the man shout in pain and her grip on his arm tightened reflexively, as if he might pick up the gun somehow or draw another. 

“No!” Nell yelled as The Claw darted towards the man, eyes wide as she watched the girl make her attack, certain she was going to hear a gunshot pop off at any moment. And then a matching red would bloom on The Claw’s costume, staining the stripes as they seeped the girl’s life away. But no such thing happened. There was a bang, and Nell flinched as the bullet ricocheted to god knew where, and then it seemed The Claw was firmly latched onto the man’s gunarm. Had the girl brought hidden knives as well? But Nell hadn’t seen her draw them. The speed and high stakes of the situation didn’t allow for a closer look before she too was moving in on the man, fast and controlled in her approach as she kicked the man’s legs out from under him while he was distracted by The Claw. He landed hard on the warehouse floor, a grunt of pain falling from his as Nell planted a firm kick in his side once he was down. “I said, don’t!”

In the next moment, Nell tugged at her magic, using it to bend the man’s fingers into unnatural angles and making good on her promise of breaking them. While his yell filled the concrete walls, she grabbed at his wrists, taking special care to press down on the digits she’d just snapped, drawing a pair of handcuffs from a pocket and clicking them soundly around him. “Alright- okay,” she began, turning towards The Claw with a frown now that the man was no longer a threat. “Do you believe me now?” Gone was any of Nell’s previous amusement. 

Sasha only had her claws dug into the dude’s arm for a moment before the woman kicked his feet out from under him. Sasha didn’t try to keep her grip. She watched him fall and felt the sticky blood coating her hands. Oh god, gross. Her first instinct was to try to wipe the stuff off on her pants, but she really only had one of these costumes. So instead she held her clawed hand away from herself awkwardly as the woman kicked and cuffed the man.

Wait, how had she broken his fingers? Sasha blink, wondering if her eyes were playing tricks on her. Maybe like the bang had messed with her ears, the flash of the fallen gun had messed with her vision. It looked like they had just snapped by themselves. But she didn’t have much time to think about it. When the woman turned and spoke it sounded as if her voice was coming through water, but Sasha could still make out the words. 

“I-I didn’t realize there were bounty hunters here. I just saw you trying to break in and I thought...” Sasha's heart was beating hard in her chest, but as the adrenaline faded she started to feel anxiety creeping in, past the normal confidence that she tried to show as The Claw. “I didn’t realize.” 

For a moment Nell simply watched Sasha in vaguely concerned confusion, taking in the way she was holding her hand away from herself, apparently not all that accustomed to the blood she’d drawn. Another look towards the girl, and the witch could see something like shock beginning to grip The Claw’s body. It had been a couple of months since Nell had been reminded that not everyone was as accustomed to spilling blood and facing guns down, but as she looked at the costumed crusader— it was hard to miss the way her voice had changed, and Nell’s frustrated demeanour switched into something more sincere. “Hey- are you...alright? You can sit down or something if you need to. I have some water,” she said before turning to rummage in the bag she’d been carrying on her back, offering a water bottle soon after she located it. “You’re not hurt, right?” She hadn’t seen the man land a mark on the young woman, but what if that stray bullet hadn’t been all that stray, and Nell had missed it? WIth a quick and cursory glance over The Claw, Nell did her best to try and identify if she was bleeding anywhere. 

“Aren’t there bounty hunters everywhere?” Nell wasn’t entirely looking for an actual answer as she glanced once again toward the man they’d downed together. When he tried to open his mouth to speak, she granted him a warning growl before kicking one of his broken hands. Earning another howl of pain from the criminal. “Sorry- hold on,” she sighed at the girl before bending down to tug off the man’s beanie and stick it into his mouth as a makeshift gag. “There- now he won’t bother us, at least.” Taking some pity on the girl, she offered her name, hoping that might help set The Claw a little more at ease. “I’m Nell.” 

“I’m alright. I’m fine.” Sasha was fine. Mostly fine. She wasn’t hurt at least and the real bad guy had been taken down. But staring down a gun was a lot. Sasha took the water bottle, but realized she couldn’t risk taking off her mask to drink. Instead she poured a bit of it over her hand to clean it of blood, retracting her claws once they were no longer covered. 

“I’m not hurt I-” She stopped mid sentence as Nell roughly silenced the man. That was fine, all of this was fine. He was a bad guy after all. “I’m The Claw.” Wait, she had already told her that. “I um, thanks for the help. I’m sorry I thought you were trying the break in. I mean, you were, but you weren’t robbing anyone.”

She glanced down at the dude again. She didn’t exactly feel bad for him, not after threatening her and Nell. But at the same time she worried about how much she may have hurt him. “Do you do this a lot? Bounty hunting? I should probably know so I don’t mistake you for doing something bad when I’m out patrolling.” 

Nell didn’t intend to purse her lips at The Claw’s answer, but couldn’t help it as the other girl maintained that she was fine. The witch had heard that particular phrase more than once when it came to people reacting to the concerning outcomes of questionable experiences. If she were being entirely honest, she herself had used it on numerous occasions when she didn’t want to admit that something may not have been fine. But she wasn’t going to push the girl. “Alright.” At least she wasn’t hurt. Nell couldn’t help the way her eyes lingered on The Claw’s...well...claws as the girl poured water over them and her hand. So that had been how the damage was done? “That’s pretty neat,” she offered in a tone that she hoped was casual, nodding towards the girl’s hand. Was she a werewolf or something? What else had claws, but appeared to be human?

“Yeah, I remember,” Nell said with a tease in her voice, hoping to bring back at least a little levity to the situation. “The Claw. Pretty fitting I guess, isn’t it? Though...if you have more than one claw- shouldn’t you be The Claws?” A shrug later, and Nell was speaking again. “You helped, too. I mean you got the first hit on him.” Even though The Claw had successfully drawn blood and proven herself capable, Nell couldn't help the worry that was pooling in her stomach as she continued to watch the girl and listen to her mention attempted robbery. “You know...it’s pretty dangerous out here in White Crest. Also just in general. So what are you doing out here trying to stop supposed attempted robberies and shit?” Saving people in White Crest was an endless job, and more often than not you got hurt in the process. It was no surprise that Nell wasn’t keen on the thought of a spandexed and starry-eyed crusader making their way through the town’s problems. “But yeah- it’s my main source of income, so I’m generally sneaking around.” The word ‘patrolling’ only made Nell’s frown dip lower, concern continuing to grow in magnitude.

“It’s part of my powers,” Sasha said as she followed Nell’s gaze back towards her hand. “The Claws doesn’t roll off the tongue as much, I think my title is just fine.” Sasha couldn’t tell if Nell was making another jab at her, or just trying to lighten the mood, but at least the woman didn’t seem annoyed anymore. And that fact let Sasha relax slightly. 

“It’s my job. I’m here to protect White Crest.” Had Nell never heard of a superhero before? Even her reaction to seeing Sasha’s claws was weirdly nonchalant. “Not for money, not that there's anything wrong with helping for money. It is just my responsibility. I want to make sure the town is safe and those doing wrong are punished.” 

She tried to stand a bit taller, get back into the headspace of a hero. Like Nell said, she had just helped to take down a criminal. Maybe all the blood and guns was a bit unexpected but she had done it all the same. “I know White Crest is dangerous but I can handle it.” 

“Your powers…” Nell echoed as her gaze lingered on The Claw’s hands once more. It wasn’t exactly the word she would have used as she generally referred to the gifts of the supernatural community as ‘abilities’. Though she supposed it made sense for the girl to think of them as ‘powers’ if she was determined to run around playing superhero. “Are you...a werewolf?” Nell asked point-blank, seeing no other way around the question. She didn’t particularly feel like dancing around the subject, and they were the only humanoid creature she could think of in that moment that might employ their claws in such a way. 

“Your job?” Nell continued to question, not entirely sold on that description. “What do you mean by that? Why’s it your responsibility?” She could sympathize with wanting to make sure people were as safe as possible in White Crest, but she certainly didn’t consider it to be her job. It was just...something she was good at, and something she felt obligated to do. So where was this sense of duty coming from where it concerned The Claw? “Do you know?” Nell challenged, not entirely convinced. She couldn’t help but feel like she was somehow responsible for making sure this girl knew what she was truly getting into— the pain and heartbreak that lay down the line if she decided to take the weight of the world on her shoulders. “I know you wanna help- but it’s not always happy endings or whatever. Things go to shit. A lot.” And then years have passed and you don’t even know how you got here, but it’s too late to stop now. You can’t turn your back on people that need help. If Nell could spare someone the disillusionment she’d experienced over the last few years, and the bone-deep tiredness she felt half the time these days...she’d take that chance.

“I’m...no I’m not a werewolf.” Okay, Nell was clearly making fun of her now. “This isn’t some joke or silly halloween costume. It is my job. My responsibility. I have powers and I have to help people with them.” Sasha felt her face heat up. She wasn’t used to getting angry enough to raise her voice, and already she felt self conscious at it, clearing her throat and glancing back down at the cuffed man to avoid Nell’s questioning gaze.

“I know this town is dangerous. I can handle it. You don’t need to-” Treat me like a child. Act like I don’t know what I’m doing. Sasha clenched her jaw. She wasn’t going to argue. Nell had helped, but Sasha wasn’t going to try to explain this to her. 

“Are you taking him to the police?” Sasha motioned to the man. “Or wherever bounties go. I need to get back to my patrol.” It was a lie. Sasha was pretty sure she was going to head directly back to her dorm the moment she left Nell and sleep until she forgot about her annoyance and the gun going off and the feeling of blood between her fingers.

“I didn’t say it was any of that stuff,” Nell defended with a gut reaction, realizing she’d made a wrong step somewhere along the way. Certainly Nell had thought it to be a game at the beginning of their meeting, mistaking the girl for cosplay, but now she knew better. But if The Claw wasn’t a werewolf...what was she? Unless she simply didn’t know she was a werewolf. Maybe that was also a possibility. If that were the case, it would only fan the flames of Nell’s concern. How could the girl hope to save a world she didn’t have all the pieces of, and not get hurt in the process? “But you don’t,” Nell replied simply. “You don’t have to. Not if it gets to be too much or anything like that.” 

Nell recognized a stubbornness in the girl that was most likely mirrored in herself while The Claw defended her choices, and that only worried Nell more. But she also knew there was no sense fighting it if they were, indeed, alike in that trait. Any opposition would only be met with a stronger fight back. So if Nell couldn’t prevent the girl from taking a path that was rife with hardship, maybe she could at least help. “Fine,” was her short answer. “But if you have any questions— how can people contact you, anyway? Is there like a ‘The Claw’ twitter or something that you work off of?” If The Claw wouldn’t listen to her, then she’d simply have to settle for trying to keep an eye on the girl. 

The dismissal was obvious in the girl’s words, and Nell had no interest in overstaying her welcome at the moment. Besides, she did need to get this man back to the bail bonds agency. “I’m taking him,” Nell answered with her arms folded over her chest, not yet moving an inch. She usually utilized magic to get her bounties back to her employers, and though she’d already technically used magic in front of The Claw, she wasn’t about to do so again so openly when it seemed the other girl hadn’t noticed. “Good luck on your patrol.” She’d have to wait for The Claw to leave in order to finish her business here. 

But you were thinking it. You were thinking that I’m a joke. And you think that I can’t handle things either. But Sasha didn’t voice it. She didn’t want to get angrier at Nell, or vice versa, but it was already getting to that point. So she ignored the bounty hunter’s statement about what she knew she had to do or whatever, biting back a retort. Even the question about contacting her made Sasha irritated in the moment. She knew it was dumb, but it hadn’t been something she figured out yet since saving Connor and him asking her the same thing. Being reminded again that she had no easy way to contact someone without revealing who she was only made her worried that it would now come off as unprofessional to the bounty hunter. 

“I’m setting something up. Why don’t you give me your contact info and I’ll reach out to you if I need it.” A burner phone or some side account on something wouldn’t be hard, she just had to make sure it didn’t trace back to her. And behind the current annoyance and Nell, Sasha knew it would be smart to know how to contact her. Not that Sasha would need the help, but she didn’t want some weird bounty mix up to happen again. 

“Thanks.” Sasha said, unsure if Nell meant what she said about her patrol. At least she hadn’t detected any sarcasm in that, even if she seemed to want Sasha to get out of her hair soon.

Nell didn’t offer any more words as The Claw gave her a short answer, knowing that the peace between them was hanging by a thread. Instead she tucked a hand into her jacket pocket, magically summoning a piece of paper and pen from back home into her hand before bringing them back into sight. On the paper she wrote both her phone number, and the name ‘Penelope Vural’ before handing it over to the girl. “You can text me or find me on the town forum. Whatever works for you.” Friendship wasn’t on Nell’s mind as she offered the contact information, and instead she was hoping that she might be able to keep some sort of eye on the strange crusader. “Let me know if you ever need anything or whatever. Or have questions about who I’m after. Sometimes jobs take more than two hands...or claws, and I’m always down for action.” That was the best she felt she could do in making sure The Claw didn’t get herself killed, and without adding flame to the fire the witch had inadvertently built between them. 

Nell turned away from the self-made heroine, unable to bite her tongue any longer when the rock of dread was solidifying in her gut. She didn’t want to watch another person get hurt by White Crest, but she wasn’t about to stand by and let it happen either. When she turned to look over her shoulder, the other girl was already gone, and Nell hadn’t even gotten to give a well wishing of safety before the night air swallowed up The Claw. All she could think was that hopefully the town wouldn’t swallow the girl whole as well. 

[for-ests]

Lost In Your Light: Peter Parker x Reader (Part 4)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 

[ my masterlist ]

word count: 3, 127

CHAPTER 4: HER SECRET 

Y/N's heart was pounding loudly against her chest; her cheeks inflamed with a crimson shade as she walked back home.

She exhaled roughly, staring at her hands, in complete shock that she had just healed Spider-Man. 

The girl touched her face and tried not to smile. It was cold, the air was thick and brisk, yet she couldn't feel it. Her heart was too warm.

She was excited, basically bubbling with pride. Astonished, shocked--and it was wonderful.

Y/N felt like she was going to explode. She needed to talk to someone about this. She had to... but there wasn't a single soul that could know. She was alone with this secret. About her power, and about Spider-Man.

The girl came to her front door, still forcing herself to not smile. She stood on her tiptoes and reached for the house key, fumbling with it before unlocking the front door as delicately as she could.

She closed the door without error.

Y/N hurried upstairs to her bedroom and flopped onto her bed.

She curled into a ball, holding her face in her hands and almost squealing. She wanted to so badly but she knew she had to be as quiet as possible.

There was another person like her. He had confirmed her thoughts by saying so himself.

She remembered his voice, sweet and young, but also old and wise. Every world that spewed from his mouth contradicted her previous assumptions. His voice was higher than she would have thought. He was shorter, more boyish, yet still lean and muscular. Peter. 

His hands flashed through her mind next; they were rough and calloused. When she healed him, it was different from the animals she had helped before him. She felt his emotions, his wants and needs. They were connected in those seconds, and she relished in the way his skin pricked with... desire?

Y/N's eyes shot back open. That's what the feeling was. She had felt what he was thinking, what he wanted. 

No. It couldn’t possibly be her. She was just projecting her own feelings onto him. 

Yet, he was gentle with her.

The girl blushed, looking at her hands and fantasizing the way his would fit perfectly with hers.

Whoever he was, she needed to see him again.

✭✦✭✦✭

Going back to school the next morning was a lot harder than Y/N would have thought.

Scratch that. It wasn't hard, it was terrible.

Of course all she could think about was Peter. Whoever he was, wherever he lived. She wouldn't know, the only Peter she'd ever known was her second cousin who lived in Wisconsin. Spider-Man was definitely not him.

Y/N didn't even know what Spider-Man looked like, but the connection she felt couldn't have been one sided. It felt like it was meant to be, no matter how hard she tried to deny it.

She was walking down the main hallway of school, keeping her head down as a blush spread across her cheeks. Just the thought of him was enough to send her senses into a frenzy.

Her body felt warm. She turned the corner, face starting to burn. Then came the nausea. 

Y/N suddenly did not feel well. Why was she feeling so hot? The warning signs resided within her gut, similar to the feeling she received when she connected the telepathy link with an injured animal.

She began to walk faster, weaving through the students with a sort of urgency. The girl didn't know if anyone could tell, but she needed to get to the bathroom.

Her hands started to tingle.

Y/N cursed.

The bell rang, and the last few students shuffled into their classrooms.

The girl ignored the warning bell and disappeared into the bathroom.

Thank God it was empty.

She practically dove into a stall, throwing her backpack on the floor and sitting on the toilet. Her breathing was ragged, as if she had sprinted for ten miles.

What was happening to her?

She held her hands in front of her. Eyes wide, she studied the faint, wisp of pale yellow light. It wasn't as golden as before. A small, but noticeable detail.

Please go away. She thought, squeezing her eyes and trying to summon some sort of willpower. But nothing happened.

Y/N felt like crying. Why was this happening now? Usually she could control it. She'd never had an outburst problem. She tried to calm herself down, but the sound of another student's heels echoed in the small bathroom.

The panicked girl clamped her mouth shut and shoved her hands under her shirt. The power started to glow brighter. Was someone in trouble?

Y/N peaked her head through the crack and gasped. The girl who entered the room was bleeding.

As if on instinct, Y/N flushed the toilet and rushed out. She examined the wound from afar, eyebrows knitting together as she realized how minor, and non-life threatening it was.

Her hands had stopped glowing. Tranquility rushed over her, as if signaling she was making the right decision. 

A little more at ease, Y/N managed to speak. "Are you okay?"

The stranger lifted her head and nodded, her dark curly hair bouncing with each movement. She was pressing a handle of crumbled paper towels on top of the cut. It was just a laceration. She pulled the towels back to show Y/N. "Yeah, I was in chem and a flask broke. It stings like a bitch, but I'm sure I'll be fine with a band-aid."

Y/N inwardly cringed. Band-aids were literally useless, and only meant to keep children from itching their scabs. What this girl really needed was some disinfectant and stitches. It looked pretty deep, but only skin wise. 

Of course Y/N didn't say that. She knew she could do so much better than what the school nurse could provide. But she wasn't willing to risk her safety for a glass injury on someone she didn't know.

"That's terrible. Need me to do anything? I'm Y/N, by the way, I'm not sure if we've met before." She said as casually as she could.

"Thanks." The stranger smiled. "If you don't mind helping me clean it quick? Since it's on my right arm I'm not sure if I can do it thoroughly with my left."

"No problem!" Y/N grinned, trying to push the strange feeling away. The cause for her outburst wasn't because of this cut. Something else was wrong with this girl.

"I’m Kenzie by the way." She added, watching Y/N grab more paper towels out of the dispenser.

"Nice to meet you." Y/N chuckled, holding Kenzie's arm under the sink and carefully wiping the blood away. Her fingers ached for skin on skin contact, knowing she could easily make the whole injury disappear.

But she didn't.

"You might need stitches." Y/N noted, eyebrows furrowing together as the bleeding refused to stop. It had subsided, but a wound this size should have been closed already. She had treated them countless times. No wonder Y/N had such a weird feeling rising in her stomach.

Kenzie examined the wound. "I was thinking so too."

The girls both looked at each other and smiled. "Nurses office." They said in unison. Kenzie knew this was the best way to get out of school for the rest of the day.

They giggled. Y/N washed her hands again and took a deep breath. She had to calm down, she was making this a bigger deal than it needed to be.

Kenzie bent down and grabbed her backpack. The weight of everything inside seemed to tire her out. Y/N eyed her as she dispensed more towels. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah." She breathed heavily. "I've just been really tired lately. It's weird. My bones hurt even though I haven't done anything to make them."

"You should make a doctors appointment." The comment slipped between her lips before she could process it.

Kenzie looked surprised. "Why?"

"Your blood isn't clotting quickly enough." She said. It didn't matter, she needed to get help. Whatever it was, Y/N couldn't tell. And she couldn't heal it. "Being tired for no reason, and feeling inexplainable pain in your bones is never good."

Kenzie looked dumbfounded, but she managed to nod. "You're right."

Y/N’s eyes widened slightly. Why did she say that? Now she had to cover it up with something that still wouldn’t explain her supposed knowledge. "My father is a doctor. Sorry for coming on strong, it's better to be safe than sorry."

"Again, you're right. Thanks Y/N, I'll see you around."

Y/N watched the girl leave. The tension in her fingers dissipated along with Kenzie’s aura. Something was terribly wrong with her.

Y/N picked up her backpack and exhaled.

She needed an explanation of this manifestation growing inside her.

After an hour of psychology class, Y/N made her way through the halls and up the stairs to her biology teacher's room. The whole hour had been a blur, as she was still trying to process what had happened in the bathroom. It was the only thing on her mind.

Since it was lunch passing hour, the classroom was empty except for Mrs. Anderson. Y/N peaked through the window and saw her old teacher hunched over a laptop. She seemed disgruntled.

No matter, the teenager had to try and figure out what was happening to her.

Y/N shuffled into the classroom timidly. "Hi Mrs. Anderson." She greeted, shutting the door quietly behind her. "I know it's been a year or two since you had me in class, but I have a question that I don't know who else to ask."

Mrs. Anderson smiled warmly, clicking out of a tab before shutting the laptop. "What can I do for you, Y/N?"

She pulled out her notebook. A bit nervous to share her findings with someone else. But she needed a professional’s point of view. Y/N needed answers.

Mrs. Anderson was the right person to ask. She was just an AP biology teacher, but Y/N also knew she was a geek. Mrs. Anderson was someone who researched conspiracy theories and magic. She was skeptical, but believed in them. She believed even if one couldn't see.

"It's about healing."

"What type?"

Y/N would have laughed if the question didn't correlate with her life and soul.

"The unthinkable, Mrs. Anderson." There was a hint of profoundness that escaped into Y/N's tone. But her teacher didn't seem to notice.

She nodded. "Keep going."

"It seems like a myth, and probably is one." Y/N added for good measure. "But if biological healing can stretch its boundaries, is the human body able to speed up the process of mendification? Can a wound be closed by just one touch?  Is there any proof of someone healing someone else by thought or contact alone?"

The girl expected her teacher to look at her like she was crazy, but all Mrs. Anderson did was lean back in her chair with a serious expression.

Y/N knew she had asked the right person, even if she had rambled.

"Who is this question aimed for?"

Y/N couldn't say her. She couldn't say a friend or family. "Spider-Man?" She squeaked, shoulders relaxing as Mrs. Anderson nodded like it made sense.

And theoretically, it did. He was a superhuman and everyone in New York knew it. The question was why. How did it happen? What exactly were his powers? Y/N remembered having that exact discussion two years earlier in this class. That idea alone was a good backup.

But now that Y/N had discovered her powers, many unanswered questions emerged. Everything she and others had believed could be proven false. Spider-Man was a freak accident, Y/N wasn’t like him. And there might be others like her.

"Theoretically, if we are talking about Spider-Man I would say yes. But we know that his powers resulted in a spider bite. But then again, we don't know if that's the cause for his quicker healing abilities. We also don't know if anyone can reach his potential naturally. There may be biological traits involved with the evolution. I honestly don't know."

-"Ever since the aliens invaded, and Nordic Gods helped us save our planet, nothing is certain. As far as I'm concerned, anything is possible, and everything we thought we knew was just a brush on the surface of the endless possibilities."

Mrs. Anderson took off her glasses and sighed.

"If we look at history, healing abilities are prevalent. All types of cultures and religions who wouldn't have had contact all report it. From African Voodoo doctors, to wizards and potions in Europe. I do believe it exists, whether humans are able to wield it or not. I wouldn't be surprised if someone came forward with that ability, but no, there isn't any physical proof of it happening. Maybe except Jesus Christ?" She laughed. "I'm sorry sweetie. If what you're looking for is a yes or no, I am unable to give you a scientific yes or no. Only my wacky opinion."

Y/N smiled. "It's okay, your opinion is the best thing I've got so far."

"Then I will continue. In theory, if one is able to unlock that power, assuming it is inherited genetically, one can possibly manipulate the healing process. That would call for a great power, and even greater concentration. To demand cells to repair themselves faster, could possibly get rid of incurable diseases."

Y/N scribbled her teacher's word down in the notebook she had brought.

"I'm having a hard time believing this is for a Spider-Man project." Mrs. Anderson's words stopped the girl mid-word. She put her pencil down.

"You're right, it's not. But for now let's just say I am curious."

"I would be questioning it in a different world, but in this day and age, you can do whatever you want. Like I said before, anything is possible. If you believe something exists, it just might be. When I first started teaching, Aliens were fictional."

Y/N closed the notebook, trying to suppress the grin spreading along her face. "Thank you for your input, I really appreciate it."

"No problem Y/N, I would ask to catch up but it looks like you have to go. Stop by another time okay? Not too many of my students have brilliant and thought provoking questions like you. I miss having you in my class."

"I miss being in your class, no joke. Physics is killing me right now."

Mrs. Anderson smiled. "Some of our brains are just wired for biology and only biology. "

The warning bell rang.

"Now get to class okay?"

Y/N stuffed her notebook in her bag and exited the classroom. She wished she could tell her teacher everything, if anyone would have been excited about it, it would have been Mrs. Anderson. But for now, no one else could know. Nobody but Spider-Man.

✭✦✭✦✭

Peter Parker rummaged through his locker, chuckling to himself when he finally found the sheet of homework he had been trying to frantically locate for the past fifteen minutes. 

He had to skip his lunch period to do so, but he had already been slacking in his math class due to his personal reasons, aka, Spider-Man problems. 

“Did you finally find it?” Ned rounded the corner to catch up to him, noticing that his friend was holding a crumbled up piece of paper. 

“Yeah.” Peter scanned its contents, breathing a sigh of relief. He had even completed it, how could he forget? He gave himself the rest of his lunch period to finish it. 

Ned laughed as he peaked over Peter’s shoulder. “I don’t think I would ever forget something like that. Why the hell are you so smart?” 

“I don’t think that makes me smart.” Peter managed to smile, even if his mind was racing with all the other tasks he had to complete. 

“Well, I for sure couldn’t do it.” 

Closing his locker, Peter shut its door and slumped against the wall. “Not true.” He sighed, sliding down until he was sitting with his knees tucked into his chest. Ned followed suit, shrugging to himself. 

Sometimes Peter got into his own head. Now was one of those moments. 

Due to the particular hour in the school day, most students were in class. Only a few lingered, passing by to attend to their own activities--not paying mind to the two boys huddled against a bay of beige colored lockers. 

“Alright.” Ned crossed his legs, folding his hands in front of him to act like a professional therapist for his own amusement. “Out with it. What happened last night?” 

“I met a girl.” Peter shook his head, trying incredibly hard to not let his emotions get the best of him. He hadn’t felt so strongly about a girl in years. Hell, even this didn’t feel like the childish crushes he had his freshman year. A moment like this was rare, a moment he finally let himself feel something unwarranted, something that had nothing to do with his persona, or the avengers. 

“You meet girls all the time.” Ned reminded, still not hinting at Peter’s infatuation. 

“This ones different.” He breathed, still trying to fathom all the events that had unfolded last night. “She’s like me.” 

Ned’s mouth dropped. “A girl Spider-Man?” 

Peter punched his friend’s arm and rolled his eyes. “No you idiot, she has powers.” 

“Oh.” Ned pondered. “Cool, what kind?” 

“She literally healed me.” Peter said, lifting his shirt to show Ned the fresh scar that ran along the side of his torso. “With her own hands.” 

“That’s doooopee.” He laughed, poking at the healed wound. “Did that hurt?” 

“No.” Peter glared.

Ned’s attention finally averted back to Peter’s previous words. He had met a girl, one he seemed to think was cooler than the rest. “Was she pretty?” 

“Yeah.” The brown haired teenager awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. “Like insanely.” 

“Well, did you meet her as Peter or as Spider-Man?” 

The boy’s expression fell. “As Spider-Man.” 

“Don’t get your hopes up then. Babes love dudes in uniform. And only uniform.” 

“You’re insufferable.” 

“I’m just honest.” Ned pulled his backpack from his side to his lap, fiddling with the key-chains that decorated it. “What are you gonna do?” He asked, concocting multiple scenarios in his head that could help his friend win over a beautiful girl’s heart. 

The idea that she could change the world, affecting science and medicine as he knew it, didn’t once cross his mind.  

Peter sighed. “I don’t know.” 

I just need to find her again. 

✭✦✭✦✭

Tag list!

@spn-assemble-seven​ @eridanuswave​ @fallisflame​ @used-avocado​ @pluckypete​ @vanillanestor​ @averyfosterthoughts​ @wherewecomealive​ @magicalturmoil @lust-for-pan​ @keep-bears-wild​ @selintugmen​ @undiadeestos​

[lucianorfeo]

The Gin Man

“Five dollars,” he responded.

I stared down at him utterly flabbergasted.

“Five dollars. Really? That is your request?”

“Yep.” He extended his palm towards me in the universal sign for “gimme.”

Instinctively, my hands rose to my face, vainly trying to massage the anger out of my expression. What was wrong with this idiot? A low groan escaped from my gut and formed an exasperated, “why?”

The fool’s posture collapsed briefly, but he was quick to overcorrect. He puffed out his chest like a street pigeon defending its honor. A gentle flush spreading across his face was the only thing betraying his embarrassment. He rose onto his toes ever so slightly to lessen our height difference and cleared his throat.

“Well, my good sir, for your esteemed information, earlier this morning I happened upon a ham and cheese sandwich. This sandwich, mind you, looked most delicious. One could even describe it as yummy. So yummy, in fact, that since then I haven’t been able to focus on much else. But, a lass! Unfortunately, I was prevented from purchasing it since I had no money. Thusly, my first wish is for five dollars. These five dollars I will henceforth use to finally buy the before mentioned sandwich.”

He was bathing in self-satisfaction, grasping the strings of his hoodie like a Victorian gentleman adjusting suspenders.

“Okay, but I’m still having a hard time understanding this. You rub my lamp, summon me to this filthy warehouse, I offer you a taste of my infinite power, and your first wish is for a measly five dollars?”

His brows furrowed. The fool bit his bottom lip and cocked his head like a puppy. “No, I don’t want sick money just normal dollars, please. Besides that, you’ve got everything right. Or, actually, no. I wouldn’t say I was rubbing your lamp. It would be more accurate to say I was hitting your lamp and shaking it upside down because - and can I be honest?” I knew he would be even if I protested. “I thought that lamp thing was like some weird old lady’s piggy bank and I was just looking for cash. But I’m not complaining, this works just as well for getting my lunch money.”

I gave up. Logic and sense clearly didn’t apply to a human like him. At least, not in any way I understood. His sweaty hand was once more thrust in my direction and, with a dismissive flick of my own, a crisp five-dollar bill appeared in his palm.

“Holy shit! Thanks, dude!” He turned, eyes glued to that trivial slip of paper, and started for the door.

“Wait, stop!” I shouted. I’m not sure why, but my voice sounded more panicked than furious. “Where are you going?” This fool was not about to walk out on me.

“To the vending machine.”

“Vending machine? You f-” I choked on my rage. It might not have been as aggravating if this sandwich he was so obsessed with came from a nice restaurant, an artisan deli, or even a cafeteria. But no. It was from a fucking vending machine.

“Hey, relax, gin man,” the fool threw a charming smile in my direction. “I plan on getting you something if I have any money left. I don’t know what the sandwich costs but I’m sure it’s not too much. What do you want? Candy? Chips? One of those weird nut mixes?”

I could feel my brows knitting together. There was no reason why he should do such a thing. He had nothing to gain from using his money to buy me something. Still, he seemed oddly sincere. “You’d really do that?”

He snorted. “Yeah, dude, of course.”

“For me?”

He nodded emphatically.

“Why?”

He shrugged, lips and brows briefly contorting into a goofy expression. It was annoyingly endearing.

“Well,” my eyes were darting about the room, wanting to look at anything but him. “As long as it’s no trouble… I guess I wouldn’t mind some Cool Ranch Doritos.”

“Oh, for sure! You’re a Cool Ranch guy? I would’ve guessed Nacho Cheese!”

“Yeah, I guess I can see why,” this time it was my turn to blush. I quickly turned away from the man, “I’ve been told I’m hard to understand.”

[thegoldenavenger]

Stony librarian au(I love adorable librarian tony)

So! This turned into semi-horror instead of the domestic library shenanigans you probably wanted! Sorry! Warnings: horror/surreal themes. Unbeta’d. 

The library is mostly dark, just the lamp as Tony sorts through things at the check in desk.  It’s after hours and while Tony loves his job, he can admit that he enjoys these dark, quiet moments quite a bit.  

This library used to be one of the old townside houses his father used to own, but Tony gutted it, renovated it, filled it with books and movies and loanable equipment, and opened it to the public and though he’s wise enough to let Pepper run the thing it is still his. It’d been the one cathartic thing he’d allowed himself, after his father’s death. 

So during the day he’s running around making calls and writing emails and chasing down people who don’t want to listen to reason as he tries to wrestle his father’s company into something resembling an ethically sound forefront of innovation and during the night he runs his hand over the spines of well loved, well treated books. 

When he was small his father would chase him out of the study library nook, as if Tony were too stupid to know how to treat things with respect or like Tony was better suited somewhere else then in his father’s line of sight.  When Tony did manage to sneak his way in, he was always terrified of lifting the heavy books off their shelves as if he’d disturb some great relic. 

Walls of classic literature were for show, Tony had learned growing up. You spent money or rare editions and then stored them so the embossed spine could be seen but you didn’t touch them. It was so, so different when he went to his friend’s house and Tony was treated to homely shelves of pulp fiction, and sci-fi, and kid books all stacked together.  Rhodey’s mother dog-eared a harlequin as she stood from her arm chair to greet Tony. 

Rhodey had given Tony his copy of the Lord of the Rings, and after that The Twin Tower and it’s Rhodey’s precise hand that has underlined and highlighted the passage that makes Tony always, always remember that even darkness must pass. That when the sun shines, it will shine clearer. 

So yes, Tony builds a library out of the bones of his past and yes it means something. It means something to walk the aisles after dark and smile at the full book carts.  It fills Tony with a sense that he’s done this thing right, at least. 

After hours doesn’t mean the library is empty, there’s a cleaning staff Tony keeps well-paid and happy, so he’s not terrible surprised when he hears footsteps echoing in the foyer of the library. It’s a bit late, maybe, but nothing unusual. The library still feels like safety, and it continues to do so for all the time it takes for Tony to turn a corner to see a shadow bent over the books at the front desk. 

It’s not any of his employees, he makes a note to memorize them and their names, not any of his friends, or anyone else he recognizes. 

The person at the desk is rifling through the books, flipping to the spines and then placing them back on the pile. They are broad shouldered and tall, and Tony’s hands flit to his pockets like he might summon a weapon to confront this... Tony doesn’t know. Robber? 

“I’m not finding it!” The man says and Tony jumps. 

“Can’t see anything here either--maybe it’s in the drop box?” Another voice joins in, and Tony blinks a couple times as another person pops up from behind the counter.  This one is illuminated by Tony’s small desk lamp instead of silhouetted.  He’s thin, sharp jawed, with a flop of dark blonde hair and blue, blue eyes that widen as they meet Tony’s. 

“Who are you?” The man asks, standing straight up. 

The other man whips around, just as startled. 

Tony raises his hands, placating, then scoffs at himself because he’s the one who is supposed to be here. 

“I can ask the same thing! What are you doing in my library? We’re closed, lights off, no visitors.” He flicks his hands as he talks, claps them as a statement and watches as the two intruders jump. 

“We’re looking for a book.” Says the dark haired man. “This is a library.” 

The blond puts his face in his hands. 

“We haven’t had anyone return anything like that.” Tony says, affronted. “We don’t even have anything like that in our system.” He looks, affronted, at Steve who had found a moment to introduce himself and his friend. 

“Someone could have slipped it into your library without you knowing, it’s slippery like that.”

“It’s a book,” Tony says, “Books aren’t sentient creatures with willpower.

Bucky, Steve’s tall, dark, and intimidating friend, scoffs.  

“Well, maybe someone turned it in as a trick then, but it definitely should be somewhere on this property.” Steve says, giving Bucky a look. 

“I’ve already checked through all the returns today, unless someone dropped it through the drop-box the last couple of hours.” 

Steve looks at Tony, with his wide, wide eyes, and Tony huffs. 

“Look, let’s go check I’ve got the keys for it, and if it’s not there you can get me some coffee and tell me more about why you’re looking for a haunted book like some Youtube Ghost Hunters.” Tony says and heads for the door.  Steve and Bucky follow.

“We’re Seekers, not Ghost Hunters.”

“Bucky!”

“Well, he should get it right, not--” There’s a muffled thump and Steve hissing “Shut up!”

Tony lets a smile spread over his face, comfortable in the fact that they can’t see him.  Maybe they’re misguided idiots looking for views for their blog or whatever the kids are into these days, Tony doesn’t know, but it was a fun anomaly while it lasted. 

The drop boxes are located outside the building, conveniently located so people can drive up and drop their books if they don’t want to stop in.  Tony puts his key into the closest one and unlocks it, pulling the flap open. 

Tony pulls three books out, all children’s books. He raises an eyebrow at Steve and Bucky as he hands them the books to look over.  Locking that box he turns to the next and opens it to find it empty.  

“Right, so where is this haunted book?” He asks, gesturing dramatically at the empty darkness inside the drop box.  Bucky actually sticks his head into the thing before accepting Tony’s verdict. 

Tony shuts the drop box, locks it and then puts his hands on his hips. “Alright, you owe me some coffee and an explanation.” 

The explanation is better than the coffee but only because the coffee is tepid and stale. Tony isn’t sure he believes Steve and Bucky’s account of a book that, what, eats people? Disappears them? But it’s an amusing tale and seeing Steve’s face get all worked up when Tony teases him is definitely reason enough to be here. 

In fact, Steve is much more entertaining than the tale he’s trying to weave.  The shiny dullness to his hair, the freckles Tony can see now that they’re being illuminated by ugly florescent lighting, his big blue eyes and the thick eyebrows scowling at him. 

“Are you even paying attention?” Steve hisses. 

“What, yes, yes.  Hundred years of murder history.  Secret shadowy nightmares. Very believable.” Tony nods just to watch Steve’s cheeks heat up with red. 

Steve’s hands are lithe and his knuckles strong as he sets his coffee mug down on the table with a clack! He pushes himself up, bending over the table to get in Tony’s face and yell.  He’s pretty short, Tony notices.  If Tony wasn’t resting his chin in his hands Steve might still be looking up at him instead of down. 

Bucky sets his fork down long enough to yank Steve back into his seat and say, “He’s goading you.” Before he goes back to shoveling greasy diner eggs into his mouth. 

Steve crosses his arms and huffs, sitting back into the booth. 

“If you weren’t gonna listen, why’d ya wanna come out for coffee?” Steve mutters, and it takes Tony’s brain a whole second to reboot because that was an accent oh yes it was. 

Blinking to clear his head, Tony replies with the same steadiness he’s been showing in the face of Steve’s tall tales. “I’m a librarian, I’m pretty much obligated to check you out.”

“If you weren’t so--” Steve starts but Tony doesn’t hear him because Bucky just snorts coffee all over his empty plate. 

It takes that interruption for Steve to actually process Tony’s (lame) line and his cheeks erupt from pissed off pink to really embarrassed red. 

Bucky coughs into his napkin, the coughs resolving into loud, husky laughter, enough for waitress to come by all concerned and glass of water in hand.  Bucky waves her off and looks at Tony with the most amused expression on his face, a total deviation from the stone wall Tony has seen most of the night. 

“Good luck with this one, pal,” he says, patting Steve heavily on the shoulder. 

Tony ends up paying for the coffee and Bucky’s eggs, because Tony doesn’t think internet sleuths actually have much income, and because the story was worth the bill. 

“Make sure you return those books, or you’ll miss our due date,” he calls after Steve and Bucky’s receding backs.  He can hear Bucky start laughing again, under the noise of exasperation Steve makes. 

Tony actually hopes they do come back, and not just because he wants the kids books he left with Steve returned. 

This was a fun night, he thinks as he returns to his home. It was definitely going to be The story at lunch time gossip with Pepper and Rhodey.  Tony locks the door behind him, flipping on the lights and slipping out of his shoes.  He shrugs off his coat and hangs it, then loosens the tied around his neck. 

He thinks they might have words about him not calling the cops on a couple of B&Eers, which reminds him, he should have asked how they got in the library in the first place.  The doors were still locked when they’d left to see the drop boxes and he hadn’t heard any windows breaking. 

Tony resolves to ask when--if he sees them again.  

He continues with his nightly routine, showering, brushing his teeth, dressing for bed, cleaning his nails. He grabs his briefcase and drags it to the couch, where he turns on the flat screen for some background noise.  He pours the rest of the green smoothie he’d made that morning into a glass and takes it with him to the couch where he opens his briefcase. 

He always spends a couple of hours catching up on emails before bed, and he reaches into the case to grab his laptop but his hand rests on something else. 

He pulls his hand out, and he’s holding a heavy, perfect bound book. 

That had definitely not been there this morning, he thinks before he puts it on the coffee table. 

The books stays in his briefcase.  Tony does not read it, he’s not stupid. 

Okay, Rhodey isn’t stupid, and Tony’s smart enough to call him the moment he stopped internally freaking out about the book.

“Don’t read it man, don’t be that guy.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course not.”

“You’re reading it right now aren’t you?”

“Of course not, I’m not stupid.”

“Really?”

“Really. But, like, I might in the next fifteen minutes. It’s just right there! You know I have poor impulse control, honey bear!” 

“Control yourself man!”

Tony controls himself long enough that Rhodey can slap the book out of his hands when he bursts into Tony’s apartment like the cool-aid man.  Rhodey’s mom didn’t raise a fool, so the books gets wrapped in Rhodey’s sweater, wrapped in a bag, put into another bag, then locked back in Tony’s briefcase.  He’d have thrown it into a fire too, if Tony hadn’t insisted they save it for Steve and Bucky.  Mostly Steve. 

“Who are they?” Rhodey asks, and though Tony wanted to save this story for Gossip time he relents and fills Rhodey in on the hours of Tony’s life he missed. 

“You are. The worst.” Rhodey says. “This shit never used to happen to me before I met you.” 

“Yeah, but you love me anyways.”

Rhodey makes a frustrated noise but doesn’t deny it. 

Tony and Rhodey wait at the library all day for Steve and Bucky to show up.  Tony keeps making Rhodey guess which vaguely suspicious duos are the Monster Hunters in question, just to laugh behind his hand when Rhodey inevitably guesses wrong.

The briefcase is heavy in Tony’s hand, and he thinks if he stops talking he’ll want to rip the book out and read it. 

“Oh wait, no I know exactly who you were talking about,” Rhodey says, his flat voice resigned. Tony looks up and sees Steve and Bucky beelining towards the library’s entry way. 

Tony stand from the bench and waves invitingly towards the two men. 

“Hey! No late fees for you!” Tony calls out as they get closer.  Bucky doesn’t laugh this time, but Steve’s face still gets red so Tony chalks it up to a win. 

“Tony, what’s that?” Steve asks, pointing at Tony’s hand. 

Tony and Rhodey both look down to see Tony’s hand gripping the bag Rhodey had stuffed the book into. 

“Jesus, Tony!” 

“What, I didn’t? I don’t remember opening the case! It was locked! You’d have noticed me unlocking it!”

“Wait, what’s going on?” Steve interrupts. 

“I’m the best librarian, I found your book!” Tony says brightly, lifting up the bag. He’s already trying to unwrap it, but Bucky’s hand shoots out, closing over his with a surprising amount of strength. 

“Not here.” He says, gruffly.

“Holy shit,” Rhodey says under his breath. 

“I know, right?” Tony says, grinning widely at his friend. 

Steve ends up dropping the children’s books back into the drop box and they all hop into an old car and drive to a motel a few minutes away.  Tony complains about the vehicle the whole time, from the rust patches in the paint job, to the air pressure in the tires that he can feel is just too low, to the sound the car makes as Steve shifts gears.  

“Get a hold of your guy,” Bucky orders, eyes on Tony’s drifting hand through the sun visor’s mirror.

“He ain’t my guy,” Rhodey insists fervently, as he grabs Tony’s hands and yanks them away from the book. “I don’t got a guy, why does everyone think you’re my guy, Tony?” 

“Maybe ‘cause you’re always holding my hand?” Tony turns his grip so he’s clutching Rhodey’s fingers instead of shaking. 

He hates being out of control. It’s why he stopped drinking. 

“Yeah, yeah, it’s all your fault.” Rhodey says, but he keeps Tony’s hands steady for him, like he always does. 

The motel is cheap, and Tony thinks he might actually break out in hives just walking into the rented room, but he keeps quiet because he’s finally allowed to bring out the book. 

He blinks and Steve has snatched it out of his hands. 

“This is definitely it,” Steve says and Bucky nods as they both look over the black cover.  There are no words embossed on it, front or back or spine.  It’s just black leather, and cream pages. 

“So what is it?” Rhodey asks. 

So Steve and Bucky tell Rhodey what they told Tony last night, and this time Tony actually listens. 

“The last time someone had this one, they disappeared.” Bucky says.

Rhodey’s hands fist, and Tony gives in and sits on the bed, even if the comforter is tacky. 

“Finding these things are so hard,” Steve complains, “If we can locate one, usually it’s already in the hands of someone who is dumb enough to try and keep it.”  He looks approvingly at Tony. 

“Trust me,” Tony says, raising his hands, “I’m done with the disappearing acts.” 

“These things have a way of getting their hooks in you,” Bucky says, his arm reaching up to rub at the empty sleeve at his side. “You shouldn’t be alone for a bit.” 

“Thanks for coming to us,” Steve says, and he reaches out to touch Tony’s wrist. 

Tony thinks that might be a better reward than not disappearing. 

“Here’s my number.” Bucky says, handing Rhodey a sticky note. “Call if anything weird happens. 

Rhodey nods, all cool like, but Tony knows if he were to put a hand to Rhodey’s cheek it’d be heated. 

Tony, despite thinking Steve is kind of cute, is ready to put the incident behind him, but he doesn’t complain when Rhodey decides to stick around. To observe him. 

Tony is glad of it, when strange shit keeps happening around him. 

He’s swipes toothpaste onto his toothbrush and runs the head of it under the faucet then starts to brush his teeth. 

And then Rhodey asks him what’s taking him so long and he blinks and his mouth his foamy, and his gums hurt, and so does his hand where he was gripping the brush. Did he lose time? He’s probably tired.

But then, he gets up from watching TV with Rhodey and goes to the kitchen. He asks if Rhodey wants anything, grabs a second beer even before Rhodey asks for one and head back to the living room, but Rhodey already has a beer and the channel has changed. “I got thirsty waiting for you to finish.” Rhodey says offhand, as if Tony had gone anywhere but straight to and from the kitchen.

It’s at his day job that it gets really weird, though.  Tony finishes an email then stands to head to the employee break room.  He doesn’t need to, but he likes getting coffee there.  It’s a nice way to say hi, to stay connected to those who work under him. 

The halls are empty as he makes his way to the break room.  He can’t even hear people working behind the office doors.  There’s no one in the meeting rooms he walks by, no one by the water coolers.  He pushes the door to the break room but there’s no one there, either. He tries to focus on getting his coffee, but his hands are already shaking so he skips it and goes for water instead. 

On the way back he peaks his head opens a door leading into marketing but there’s no one there.  All the desks are empty. He takes a turn into accounting, but it’s just florescent lights. He pushes open another door, then another, and it’s all just empty desks and harsh lights.  It’s several twists before he even realises that this isn’t how he had the offices decorated.  He always stressed the importance of natural lighting and comfortable spaces but the decor has turned into colorless carpet, narrow plastered walls and yellow flickering lights.  Endless doors opening to vacant cubicles and abandoned office equipment. 

Tony has never been one to call out when in trouble, so it’s just his thudding heart and rasping breaths to accompany his footfalls as he runs through the building trying to find his way out of the labyrinthine office and damn, that thought really makes him want to laugh out loud, even though he knows it’d be strangled. 

He fumbles in his pocket for his phone, types in the number he’d already memorised by the time Rhodey had slipped it into his pocket, and hopes that somehow it connects. 

There’s a dial tone, and then-- “Rhodey?” 

“Hah, yes! I mean, no, I’m not Rhodey, but I’ll set you up on, like, a coffee date with him if you can get me out of here!” 

“Tony?” 

“Yes, ding ding ding! It only took you two guesses! Amazing--” His breath hitches in the middle and he stops running in order to stop himself from making any more weird, vulnerable noises. 

“Tony, is that you, what’s going on?” And that’s Steve’s voice, oh good!

“Yeah, I’m--does this thing have face time or? No, listen I lost in an office building. My office building? But it’s not, I did not authorise this floorplan! I’m a madman but I’m not malevolent I would never pair--” He makes a strangled noise, “Emotionally void and tasteless paintings with god! damn! fluorescent! lighting!” 

The yellow lights flicker obstinately at him. “Yeah fuck you, too!” He yells. 

“Tony, calm down, take a breath what did you say? A void?” 

“A labyrinth. No one’s here. Haven’t even seen a Minotaur.” He laughs again and he knows it’s shading hysterical. 

“Oh, shit,” The phone pulls away from Steve’s mouth and his voice goes fuzzy as he talks to presumably Bucky, and Tony heart flies to his throat.

“Hey, hey, what do you mean ‘oh shit’ come on. Steve? Steve?!” 

“I’m here, keep walking.” Steve demands.  Tony listens.  He walks.  He listens as Steve talks to him about what he’s doing, he walks past empty water coolers and dead plants.  When the connection hisses Steve tells him to turn and Tony does.  

“Bucky is pissed you called his car a heartbreaker, that’s his baby.” Steve says and Tony forces a laugh. “I only said it because it’s true. The paint job was breaking my heart!” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Tony hears Bucky in the background. 

“I’ll show you a real ride once--” He breaks off as he opens another door to another empty room. Steve makes a choking noise that has Tony smiling despite everything. “I’ve got cars,” He says instead. “Like a hobby.”

“Sounds like a rich man’s hobby.” Steve offers.

“Sure,” Tony agrees. “But I’ll take it if it means I don’t have to worry about your friend’s death trap breaking down.” 

“I like bikes better,” Steve admits. 

“You ride?” Tony asks. 

“Here and there,” 

Tony gives silent thanks for the image of Steve in motorcycle leathers.

“I like bikes, too. You know Fujikawa?”

“Know ‘em? Those are the best damn bikes--”

“Well, I’ve got a couple--”

“Of course you do!” 

Tony laughs, delighted. “I can do better than that, too.”

“What, you’ve got a flying car hiding somewhere?”

“Not yet,” Tony says, “But I can introduce you to Rumiko.”

“Ru--Rumiko? That’s-- She’s, but!” She’s the lead designer at Fujikawa Industries is what she is, and Tony is so, so glad to have met her in this moment. 

“Yeah, she’s great. We’ll have lunch, it’ll be a ball.” 

“I’m holding you to that,” Steve says, “I won’t have coffee with you again if you’re just making this up.”

“You were planning on having coffee with me again?” The thought warms Tony’s chest straight through his heart.  He can feel the grin on his face. 

“Well. I gotta check you ... out, or---” 

Tony laughs, startled, then laughs harder because he can hear Bucky hacking up a lung in the background. 

“Shut up! Never mind, offer rescinded.” 

“Too late!” Tony crows, “You can’t take that back! You said it! I’m holding it right here, by my index card. I’m signing it out, it’s set in stone, buddy, you’ve got yourself a date.” 

“You have a date?” Pepper asks.

Tony whips his head around so fast he almost gives himself whiplash.  The phone drops and Pepper rises from her seat at Tony’s desk. “Tony?” 

“Holy shit, I’m out!” 

Steve’s voice comes out tinny through the phone. 

“Tony, are you okay?” Pepper’s smile has taken on a shade of concern.

“You’re real, right?” Tony asks, before bending down to pick up his phone. “Steve, I found Pepper, I think I’m out!” 

“Okay, I’m going to call for an ambulance,” Pepper says, frowning. 

“No, I’m fine! I’m great!” 

Steve’s voice sounds generally approving, though Tony isn’t really listening to him right now. 

“You’re delirious, I think.” 

“No, I have a date!” He exclaims, and Pepper just shakes her head.

Steve and Bucky investigate ever corner of the spaces Tony inhabits, and they find a folded page in his night stand that Tony doesn’t remember.  The paper is think, and the only thing printed on it is an old looking wood cut of a silhouette. Looking at it sends chills up Tony’s spine, but after Steve and Bucky take possession of it the weirdness stops, so that’s fine.  Tony is good to put the incident behind him and focuses instead on figuring out how to get Steve to follow him on a plane trip to Japan. 

“What is it, Tony?” Steve’s voice is groggy, but Tony doesn’t feel bad for waking him. 

“Thought I saw a shadow outside my window.”

“You did not.” Steve says, matter of factly. 

“You don’t know that.” Tony says, smile quirking around his mouth. 

“You’re the worst.”

“That’s true.” Tony grins, because he can hear Steve shifting around, getting up. 

“Fine, I’ll be there soon.”

“Actually, it’s gonna take you about eight hours.” 

“What?”

“Yeah, you see, I’m kind of in Japan.”

“I’m not going to Japan, Tony!” 

“Aren’t you, though?” Tony says, and yes! He’d timed it right because he can hear the knocking at Steve’s door.

“Tony, what did you do?” Steve whines. 

Tony grins and takes a sip of the tea Rumiko had brought out for him.  On the table between them is a crumpled napkin with a spider imprinted on it, something slipped into Rumiko’s things without her noticing.  

“We’re going to Japan,” Bucky says, his voice muffled through the connection. 

“Tony, what did you do!” Steve’s whining takes a panicked edge to it. 

“It’s fine, Steve.” He says, then addresses Rumiko, pointing at his phone. “I told you, Rumiko, I know Weird Stuff experts. Everything’s gonna be fine!” 

“Seekers!” He hears Bucky yell. 

“RUMIKO?” Steve yells.

Rumiko puts her head in her hands, but she’s laughing. “You’re lucky I like you,” she says. 

Tony smiles, winningly and turns back to the phone, “You can buy me coffee when you get here.” 

[let-me-perish]

Part five - Alternate Beginnings

(I'm slapping a name on this kid because I want to explore the role swap one where Damian is Ladybug later)

Damian has, like, two days before his class gets shipped back to Gotham and the idea of leaving Marinette behind is surprisingly painful.

Gotham Academy and Francis Dupont luckily haven't had many clashes since they picked Marinette up at lunch but there have been small meetings. A group from either school see each other from across the street, or some of ms. Bustiers class see them with Marinette. Visitors from Francis Dupont to the Dupen-Chang bakery are often met by Gotham Academy students getting a snack or meeting with Marinette.

Those from Ms. Bustiers class don't know a lot about the Gothamites other than what Lila tells them, and since Lila doesn't know who's actually in the group she spins all kinds of stories about Damian and the others.

Marinette had to calm herself down multiple times in the face of her classmates accusing questions and demands as well as the slander Lila is spreading about her new friends and acquaintances. They want to know why she doesn't spend time with them, why she hangs out with the creepy and violent Gotham kids.

She eventually points out that Gotham Academy is actually quite a prestigious and well-renowned school that just happens to be in a less than perfect place.

Lila makes some snide comment about how it was only considered a good school because it's the best Gotham could possibly offer.

Marinette fights back on this. She brings up how a lot of the upper class send their kids there, like the Waynes. If it wasn't a good school they would send them to ones out of the city.

Lila points out that the Waynes are either playboys or jerks in the public eye. The perfect kind of people to belong in Gotham.

Marinette nearly loses it. Damian, while occasionally a little rough around the edges, has been overall kinder and supportive of her than anyone else in the classroom.

Marinette is also the one that gets in trouble with ms. Bustier for starting problems, despite the fact that she didn't even start it.

She gets held back at lunch that day as punishment and the Gotham Academy students are left waiting with no explanation for a good twenty minutes since her phone had also been taken.

They only find out because Damian gets fed up and corners the first member of her class he's able to.

It ends up being Rose but she's too soft for his taste for him to care and it only cements their classes opinion of him and his school.

Damian is upset and angry enough about how she's being treated that Hawkmoth finally sends out an Akuma for him.

Things go sideways for everyone when Akuma Damian has a sword and now goes by Revenger. His goal is to take revenge on those who have caused innocents insightful harm. And by revenge, he means gut them.

Marinette saw him get akumitized and gets out of the classroom quick enough that he doesn't actually hurt anyone.

Revenger has some respect for Ladybug since she protects the innocent but verbally rips into her for not going further and not being able to find Hawkmoth yet.

She manages to get him away from the school by flinging him halfway across town with her yo-yo.

He's only arriving of this choice and even encourages/taunts her to get more violent.

Ladybug of course refuses since he isn't really in control and this is her friend.

Revenger gets some not insignificant hits in by the time Chat Noir gets there and starts helping. But he's not much of a real help since it's Chat and he has all the faults Revenger knows how to exploit.

Trying to banter or flirt? Perfect opportunity to attack since they're distracted. Acting unprofessional or childish? Perfect opportunity for viral baiting and scorn to cause emotional damage. Arguing with Revenger or his partner? Another attack opportunity.

Ladybug and Chat have to lead him on a chase so she can get enough ground to summon her lucky charm and for them both to catch their breath.

They end up at the top of some building and Revenger gets his hands on Ladybug. He uses holding her hostage as an opportunity to rip into Chat Noir this time. He let's the 'hero' know exactly what he thinks of him, his behavior on the battlefield, and his behavior towards Ladybug.

The eventual "she's my lady, we're meant to be together!" line comes and Revenger looks to Ladybug.

"Your opinions on this?"

Ladybug's voice is quiet and resigned. She knows what the consequences of this are going to be. "Chat, I've told you, I was in love with someone else. You can't seem to respect that and even if I was in love with you, which I'm not, that right there would be a deal-breaker. That's not even counting the fact that this is a serious responsibility we've been given and you keep playing around. I want to work with you Chat but you've been making it so hard... I can't love I'm one like that, not now and not ever if they don't change."

Chat Noir us gaping up until he gets kicked off the roof by Revenger.

Ladybug panics because, hey, that's still my partner right there. It's also not like she wants him dead or anything. She managed to break free and grab Chat with the yo-yo to stop him from dying from fall damage but then uses him like a midlevel flair to slam into Revenger so she can get to the akumatized object.

She never did use her lucky charm but once the Akuma is purified and she miraculous cure is cast she books it out of there with the dazed and confused Damian.

She can't stay to make sure he's ok as Ladybug so she drops him in front of the school and comes running out as Marinette.

Once he has his barrings, Damian is Shooketh by the lack of memories of the Akumitizations and utter lack of control as it was happening. He finally understands why Hawkmoth is terrifying to Ladybug and the people of Paris. He could have done anything under his control and all he remembered was a voice asking if he wanted Marinette(and people like her) to be safe and treated fairly.

Marinette does what she can to help him, ditching the last classes for the day and taking him to Andres gelato cart. Her parents will understand.

They're given complimentary gelato cones(?) But neither realize since Damian's stressed and Marinette is worried.

Eventually, Damian has processed things, calmed down, asked about what he did, and come to terms with what had just happened.

Damian is invited over to dinner again since they won't see each other again after this. His class leaves in two days and the teachers will be to busy cramming in last minute things for the students to see her.

The dinner is kept happy as the two make sure for the fifth time they have each others addresses and numbers right. (They might as well have them tatooed on the back of their hands with how well they remember it)

When they part there's worried and whispered demands of promises that they'll actually write and text.

When Damian's class leaves he's 'forced' to send her a selfie of him and the entire class in the plane taking them back to the US. He sends her another of just him with the text underneath it reading 'I wish you had let me stash you in my luggage, then you could come back to Gotham with me.'

Marinette sends a selfie back with her and her parents holding up deserts themed after Gothams heroes with the text 'to bad you didn't, maybe then I should have shared these.'

There's rioting in the plane over the fact that no one remembered to grab a box of Dupen-Chang baked goods for the flight home.

[taetaesbaebaepsae]

Fallen

A/n: So this is Jongin from my story Brimstone and an OC, as well as a sequel to Gimme Shelter, with reader from that story. Idk why I’m doing this complicated shit guys it just be like that sometimes. Jimin from Brimstone and this will have his own story with reader from Brimstone coming up called Inferno.

Warnings: Possessive Taehyung, desperate clothes half off sex, unprotected sex, creampie, overstimulation, some violence in Jongin’s backstory, big angst, Taemin drinking his feelings so alcohol tw

Word Count: 4465

Jongin can't help but be a bit nervous when he's summoned.

The last time he'd been with a human woman....well, it certainly hadn't ended well.

He would have been perfectly okay with working in the mines of hell to pay his debts, but Taemin had something different in mind.

"You'll go to her alone tonight, yeah?"

Jimin makes a sound of protest but Taemin just shoots him a look and Jimin quiets, although he's pouting.

"You think I'm ready?"

Taemin brushes his hair back, sighing. He looks like he hasn't slept. "You're ready. I've got...business to take care of, and you could use the practice."

Jongin's approaching your door when Jimin slips in front of him.

"Take the night off."

Jongin raises an eyebrow. "I work for Taemin, not you."

Jimin smiles disarmingly. "I know, but I'm offering to take your place. Don't you deserve to do a little sightseeing? Angels don't get down here much, right?"

"I've seen enough," Jongin mumbles, and a pair of bright eyes flash in his memory, making his breath catch.

Jimin's smile fades a little.

"Listen, Jongin, I'll level with you. Taemin is distracted by his old flame and you…. you're kind of a pushover."

Jongin makes a distressed sound in the back of his throat.

"It's true," Jimin continues. "And the thing is….I like this human."

"Our human," Jongin corrects, and Jimin's face grows serious.

"I want her to be my human. And if you help me, I'll tell you a secret."

Jongin thinks for a minute. "What kind of secret?"

"One that will help you lessen your debt significantly."

"Fine, but you're taking the heat from Taemin."

Jimin grins. "So, I've heard there's a new angel that recently fell. Sounds like he has a similar story to yours. Maybe you could teach him the ropes, so to speak."

"You mean try to tempt him?"

Jimin sighs. "I'm not gonna spell it out for you. Consider it a helping hand. He should know how humans really are."

Jongin leaves Jimin with an address and a bit of a dilemma.

It isn't as if he'd wanted to spend most of eternity working for demon royalty. When he'd fallen, it'd been for a reason, one he tried his best not to think about. He didn't care about tempting mortals or taking souls or even lessening his debt.

But...if this former angel was in the same situation he was ...he could warn him.

When he arrives at the address he knocks, feeling odd about just appearing, and a man with a furrowed brow answers. The face is familiar, and Jongin smiles.

"Hello, Taehyung." 

"Jongin? What...what are you doing here?"

"I heard you took the plunge. Thought maybe I could help."

Taehyung is still frowning when Jongin slips past him.

"What happened to you? You just disappeared one day."

Jongin sits at the table. "You think you're the first one to fall for your ward? You had it easy with yours, you know. Mine wasn't nearly as careful."

Taehyung sits, and Jongin starts his story, allowing him to get lost in his memories.

That was an understatement. Jongin's assignment was Maria, the sister of a low-level thug. She worked as a bartender and Jongin watched her like a hawk. The first human emotions he felt through her were fear and anxiety. She'd grown up around guns and drugs and violence and it was work, protecting her.

He'd filled out all the paperwork for a visit and been approved right away, as she was in almost constant danger.

He'd followed every rule. Except one.

She'd been so afraid when he'd first appeared, scrambling under her bed, and he'd sat on the floor for hours, talking to her in a low, calm voice, until she crawled out to talk to him.

It'd been like taking care of a wounded animal, slow, careful. She'd get a bit closer every hour until eventually, she fell asleep, her head on his shoulder, and Jongin would never forget how that felt, watching her sleep, how proud he felt that she finally felt safe enough to rest.

The first time she kissed him, he had thought his heart would burst.

The first time he thought about falling was when she moaned into his mouth, clutching at his chest, a moment later.

The actual decision to fall had never been much of a decision in the first place. It'd been just a few days later, when he'd been gearing up to leave, thinking he'd made her safe, trying to tell himself he could handle just watching when he knew what her skin felt like beneath his hands.

She'd run out for soju, telling him she wanted to celebrate cutting ties with her brother like he'd wanted.

He'd felt the gunshot before he heard it, and that's when he'd felt that tug, the pull back home, and he fought like mad when he'd been yanked back to heaven, screaming and kicking at Namjoon.

"Listen to me, Jongin. Listen! You can't help her if you-"

But it was too late, he'd already chosen, and he'd ignored the way humanity fell down on him like a hammer, how he felt the sudden weight of bones and flesh just to get to her.

She'd been gasping for air, and he doesn't realize that the fluid sticking to his palms is blood until much later.

He had thought it was raining until he realizes he's crying and Maria gasped out his name and she's dying and no one will answer him, he's calling to heaven, his brothers, and they've forsaken him because he'd fought his way back, because he'd fallen in love, let himself be tainted.

It was only moments before he goes the other way, hands shaking as he makes the pentagram with her blood, mumbling half-forgotten Latin.

It was Taemin, of course, who had come.

And he'd saved her. He'd saved her and damned him and Jongin was still grateful, despite what had happened next.

🔥 

Taehyung is blinking, mouth open.

"Jongin…. I'm…. I'm sorry. I would've done the same."

Jongin's mouth twists in a bitter grin.

"That's the thing, Taehyung. You shouldn't."

Taehyung cocks his head, confused, and Jongin sighs. Taehyung looks tired, as if he's still having trouble sleeping, as if he's still adjusting to humanity.

"Humans… They don't love like we do. They don't understand forever. Don't you wonder why you feel things so strongly now? They burn so brightly because they burn out so quickly. They can't help being fickle."

Taehyung frowns, all still, and Jongin can tell he’s still adjusting, uncomfortable in his skin, fidgeting a little because he’s anxious.

It brings a lot back to him.

“Fickle?” Taehyung asks, and Jongin continues.

🔥 

It didn’t happen all at once.

Maria was healed, and everything should have been fine. Everything was fine, Jongin kept telling himself. Everything was just fine, as it should be, with Maria sleeping on his chest at night, and him afraid to sleep for the nightmares where she’s bleeding and dying again.

He wakes up reaching for her, panic rising in his throat when she isn’t there, when she’s gotten up to get tea or go to the bathroom.

Jongin tries his best to hide it, how worried he is when she’s not in his sight.

He’d been watching her for years, after all, able to see her every move, and it was so...so different now.

Now he doesn’t see what she’s doing, doesn’t feel what she feels.

He feels a lot, feels too much, all these emotions wreaking havoc on his new human body. He’s plagued with nightmares, migraines, insomnia ...he's barely able to keep food down the first week.

He’d read human literature, talking about the heart, about heartbreak, but he’d found he felt most emotions in his gut, making his stomach roll, or in his throat, panic seeming to tighten it until he’s breathing through a pinhole. He tries to hide it, how hard it is to be made of nothing but skin and bone and feelings.

Maria does try to help, crooning to him when he wakes up whimpering and reaching out for her. She's patient with him when he grows jealous, when she goes out to lunch, when he can't see her.

It makes him wild, anxious, pacing around the kitchen.

When she comes home with a mark on her throat he didn't leave, he can't breathe, excuses himself to go to the bathroom where he lets himself feel it, hyperventilating, ending up sitting in front of the toilet and throwing up bile like he's purging all the jealousy and rage and pain.

He doesn't feel like he can breathe again until she's wiping his face with a cool cloth, voice low and soothing.

She doesn't ask him what's wrong and later, when he grabs her, kisses her hard, bruising her lips, leaving his own marks on her throat, her inner thighs, the curve of her hip, she doesn't protest.

It's gradual, how she slips away, and it feels like his breastbone has cracked when she turns away from him in the night, and he tries to hold her anyway but where she had been soft before she feels like hard lines now, like her skin is suddenly foreign to his touch.

It isn't right, it feels wrong somewhere in his bones, panic rising in him every time she walks out the door.

Jongin is confused by the mix of emotions he feels when she stays gone all night a few months later. There's panic and fear but mostly, anger and he doesn't know what to do with it.

He wants to break things, yell, and it doesn't hit him until she walks in the door that all of that rage is because he wants so badly to fight for her but he doesn't know how.

His throat tightens when he tries to speak, and it comes out weak and strangled.

"Where have you been, Jagiya?"

"Jongin…."

Tears are already rolling down her cheeks and there are rocks in his stomach.

His limbs feel heavy, throat so tight he can barely breathe, as she explains.

She's sobbing when she apologizes, tells him she didn't mean for any of this to happen and he can have the apartment, that she wants to be friends, wants to help him.

He laughs at that, a bitter sound low in his throat.

"I sold my soul for you, Jagiya."

She's crying so hard and he hates hates hates her but mostly he hates himself for wanting to hold her, wanting to beg her not to go.

He wants to ask her who he is, ask her why, ask her what he'd done wrong, but none of that matters, in the end.

"She...she left?" Taehyung asks, mouth hanging open.

"No. I did. I left and went to Taemin, started trying to pay down my debt."

"My girl wouldn't do that. She'd never do that." Taehyung says, firmly, but his lip is trembling.

Jongin just looks at him, suddenly tired from telling the story, from all the stupid human emotions it brought up. "For your sake, I hope not."

In the end, he isn't there to tempt him. He just wants to warn him. Wants to prepare him for the way humans are, how their love fades.

He leaves his former colleague sitting shell shocked at the table, finds himself walking around familiar streets with her on his mind, and he’s not even quite surprised when he sees her.

🔥

Taehyung doesn't know how to feel about all this, he'd never considered the possibility that this could end, that you might leave, and he's so overwhelmed that for a while, he feels blissfully numb.

It isn't until over an hour passes and you're still not home that Jongin's story echoes in his mind, and then his breath starts to shorten, pulse pounding in his temples when he thinks of possible parallels.

By the time you come in with the groceries, his heart is racing and he takes the bags from you, tosses them on the counter, and corners you against the door as it swings shut.

"Where have you been?" His voice is low, much calmer than he'd expected, because he's looking at how your hair has fallen out of the tight bun it was in and wondering if someone had run their hands through it, and his blood is boiling.

You frown up at him. "I've been getting groceries? I wanted to cook-"

Taehyung isn't used to not knowing exactly what his body will do next, and his eyes are on the line of your throat, looking for marks, and when he finds none but his own he leans down and bites at the side of your throat, right over the raised scar he'd left.

Before, he'd felt guilt for marking you for life, kissed it softly, but tonight he's proud, tonight his head is chanting, mine mine mine and when you moan out his name, he's rock hard beneath the new sweats you'd bought him.

He realizes that he hasn't made love to you since he'd fallen, that he'd been too busy adjusting, and God, what did humans do with all this lust? There's something like angelfire under his skin, blood pulsing through his cock, balls tightening with need and he's almost snarling when he kisses you, his teeth catching your lip, iron on his tongue.

It's like being hungry, like starving, and he's got to have your cunt pulsing around him or he feels like his head might explode with all his racing thoughts.

He lifts you up by your hips, groceries discarded, but you're moaning against his mouth and he can't make it to the bedroom, bunching up your dress and ripping your cotton panties to get his hand cupping your sex.

"Taehyung," you gasp out, and he loves his name on your lips, loves how hot your cunt is when he dips two fingers inside and all he can think is that he'd lose his mind if anyone else did this to you. He could remember it all, now, the men who'd come before him, when he'd had to watch, and rage pulses in his temples.

He pulls away from marking up your throat to see your face.

"Say it again,"  He rasps, and replaces his fingers with his cock, thrusting up into you hard, something like a growl coming from his throat.

"Taehyung," you say again, almost breathless, and he doesn't know why tears spring to his eyes.

"You wouldn't leave me, Jagi?" He hears the desperation in his voice and he hates it. His whole body aches to start fucking you, hips twitching, cock pulsing but his chest hurts and he needs to hear you say it.

"Baby. Taehyung…" 

You take his face in your hands, rolling your hips as you kiss him and his cry is muffled by your mouth.

He'd thought that making love to you when he still had his wings was overwhelming but this..how hot and slick you were around him, how your cunt sucked at him when he started to move...this blotted out everything else, all the fear and rage until there was nothing but need.

"Ah, Jagiya...fuck…" He's surprised to hear himself groaning out the curse word he's heard from your lips in moments, fucking you so hard your back is sliding up and down the wall.

You're whimpering, rolling your hips against his, and when you come he groans your name, babbling sudden praises, barely able to string a sentence together. 

"Ah, so good, Jagi, your cunt, fuck... I'm gonna fill you up, don't want you to shower...want to be leaking out of you all day, yeah?"

You cry out and clench around him and his balls seize up and black spots appear in front of his eyes when he comes, letting out that feral growl again, thrusting into you once, twice, sliding you up the wall.

He's shocked at himself when he keeps fucking you, his come making you slick and sloppy, and it hurts almost as much as it feels good but isn't that what love is? Love is wrapped up in pain just as much as pleasure and Taehyung wants to embrace it because it's you and he's left everything he knows and you're all he has and because loving you is like breathing, he's done it for so long now.

You're just whining and kissing him over and over when he lifts you, takes you to the bed, being careful not to slip out of you.

"God," you whimper, clutching at his back, still careful around the scars where his wings were torn off, "Tae... what's gotten into you?"

He grunts, not knowing how to answer, kissing you hard again, hips moving so fast his abdominal muscles are straining.

Pain is giving way to just pleasure and he needs to come again but he also needs to keep fucking you until he doesn't want to scream thinking of someone else's hands on you, someone who could take you away and leave him fallen and broken and alone.

"Tae, Tae, Tae," you chant, bucking your hips and it's over before he wants it to be, he's spilling another load inside you and moaning against your mouth.

When he pulls out he cups his hand against your cunt again as if to keep you full of him, possessive, wanting to mark you everywhere as his.

"Baby?" You ask when he's lying on his back, exhausted, muscles aching from overexertion.

He hums a little, breathing hard, trying to give you a smile, but it's weak.

"What's wrong?"

His throat works and he rolls over to look at you. It's quick, how the anger rises again, how the thoughts come right back like they'd just been lurking at the back of his head. 

"Where were you?" 

"Tae, I told you…"

"How do I know that's the truth? How do I know when I can't see you?" He bursts out, frustrated, gnawing at his bottom lip.

You frown, eyes flashing. "You trust me."

"How? How do I do that, Jagi?"

“I know this is hard, Taehyung. I know it’s hard but you trust me because you love me.”

“When you went out, before all this, before I fell, you were always meeting someone,” he blurts.

You’ve got your jaw clenched, chin jutting out like it did when you were angry and he wants to take it back, has panic scratching at his insides.

“Are you calling me a whore, Taehyung?” You say, softly, sitting up on the bed and he holds his hands out to put them on your arms and when you pull away it’s like a punch to the gut.

“No. No, I just…” He can’t find the words to explain what he means.

He watches you, a lump in his throat, as you get dressed.

“Where are you going?” It’s a hoarse cry and he’s scrambling off the bed, not caring that he’s naked when he follows you into the kitchen.

“Out,” you bark, and he follows you to the door, drops to his knees in front of you because there’s no more dignity or pride left in him, not after today.

“Don’t,” he gasps, feeling like he can’t breathe, clutching at your dress, and when you try and tug it away he just grasps harder, a sob catching in his throat. “Don’t, please, Jagiya...Y/n...don’t leave me.”

Your eyes soften when you look down at him. “It’s okay, Tae. I just...I need a minute.”

But he’s too far gone, sobbing, face pressed into your stomach. “I don’t know how to do this without you, Jagi. I don’t know how to do anything without you. Don’t leave me alone, please-” 

“I’ll..I’ll be back, Tae, just...just give me a few minutes.” 

You finally wrench yourself away and walk out and if he had the strength he’d follow you out, naked and vulnerable, but he can’t do anything but put his face in his hands and cry because it’s all too much, the crack in his chest, the ache in his throat, how his stomach feels sick.

By the time you come back, he’s lost hope entirely. 

🔥

Jongin doesn't realize he's at the bar Maria had worked at until he looks up to see the neon sign, and he lets out a long breath.

She's standing outside, back leaned against the brick, and she drops the cigarette she was about to light when she sees him, crying out his name.

Jongin had thought it would hurt less now, hearing his name on her lips after all this time, two years further corrupting his soul with tasks Taemin assigned.

Instead, it's like she's snared him through the heart, and there's a line drawing him to her.

He picks up her cigarette and pops it in his mouth, leans toward her, and she lights it with a shaking hand.

"Where...where have you been?" She asks in a broken voice, and he laughs before taking a long drag.

"In hell, mostly."

Maria’s throat is working, and Jongin watches the long line of her neck, finds her unmarked, and he hates how much that pleases him, after everything.

“I’m sorry,” she says brokenly, and tears are standing in her eyes and why does that still hurt him? Why does that still put an arrow through his heart? It makes him angry, how much he wants to hate her and can’t, how much his throat aches with longing.

“You’ve said that before.”

“It was all for nothing. He’s gone and you’re in hell and it was all for nothing,” she chokes out.

The cigarette tastes like ash in his mouth already and he throws it into the night, watching the ember as it hits the street, sighing.

He touches her face and she lets out a little whimper in the back of her throat. God, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts to be this close, smell her scent, her eyes big and liquid and searching his face and when he kisses her mouth it’s bittersweet.

“You’re still breathing, yeah?” He says softly when he pulls away. “You’re still breathing. It wasn’t for nothing. That’s all that matters.”

He hears a sob catch in her chest when he begins to walk away, and there’s that thread again, that pull to her, but he fights it, fights it and the tears that spring to his eyes and descends to hell in a flame.

🔥

You return after only a couple of hours, a little bundle in your arms, and when you walk in, your heart falls. 

Taehyung sits on the floor next to the door, where you’d left him, arms wrapped around his knees, still hiccuping sobs.

“Oh...baby. Baby, I’m sorry.”

He looks up at you as if he’s not quite sure you’re really there and then he clutches at you as you sit down in front of him, tries to take your hands but you’ve got this little bundle.

“It’s okay,” he says hoarsely, gasping in a breath as if he’s been holding it since you’d left. “It’s okay, whatever it is, Jagi, I don’t care, I don’t care if there’s someone else or if-”

His face looks so stricken when you shake your head, as if you’d punched him in the throat, and you hum out comforts.

“No, no, Tae, everything’s okay. There’s no one else.” You chuckle. “Well, except this little guy.”

Taehyung frowns when you unwrap the bundle to reveal a little fluff ball of a puppy, whimpering when he peeks out his head from the blanket you’d had him in.

“Wh...what is that?” Taehyung asks as if scandalized, and you laugh again and his face is wet but he smiles a little shakily back at you.

“It’s a puppy. I found him crying behind our apartment and I thought...I thought he could be your friend, someone to help you when I have to go out. I’ve named him Yeontan.”

Taehyung looks skeptical, so you hand him the little bundle and he brings the puppy close to his face.

The puppy lets out a little bark and Taehyung jumps, but then Yeontan licks at his nose and a big boxy smile breaks out across his face.

“I guess...I guess I could use a friend,” he says softly and cradles the puppy in his arms.

It’s isn’t as if it’s easy, after that, but it helps, you come home and find Taehyung anxious but with Yeontan sitting next to him on the couch, giving you a bark as if he’s expecting praise for protecting him while you were away.

It makes you smile, how when you have to work late, Yeontan curls up on the bed next to Taehyung, and when you slide into bed beside them the puppy always moves to the foot of the bed so that Taehyung can wrap his arms around you.

It makes you smile, the way you’d found Yeontan almost as if it’d been meant to be, and you wonder for a moment if dogs could be guardian angels like Taehyung used to be.

🔥

Taemin blinks when he sees Jongin, and his smile is slow and his eyes glassy, glass of brown liquid in his hand.

“You look like you need a drink,” he says, and his words aren’t slurred but it’s a near thing.

Jongin is shocked, in the two years he’s been working for him he’s never seen him had more than a single drink, and he’d been sure Taemin would be furious that he’d disobeyed orders.

“Are you...are you drunk?”

“Not drunk enough,” Taemin mumbles, and stands a bit unsteadily to pour Jongin a drink.

Jongin sits down on the stool next to him, suddenly exhausted.

“What happened to you?” Jongin asks, still a little shocked.

“A woman,” Taemin says, as he hands him a glass more than half full with liquor, mouth twisting in a bitter smile.

Jongin barks out a laugh. “We have more in common than I thought.”

Taemin sits down in his chair, curling the fingers of one hand around the arm and taking a gulp of his drink with the other.

“Well, then. Tell me all about it, yeah? I could use a distraction.”

[useless-slytherclaw]

Chapter 13: Company

TW: Walburga Black's usual blood purist hate and verbal assaults

Lupin had joined them for breakfast after a while.  When Regulus finished his food, he had Kreacher make a tray and he took it up to the library with him.  Iset wasn’t in the library, but he could hear the shower in the bathroom running.  Regulus set the breakfast tray on the table.  Then he summoned Kreacher and asked him to please clean the library and the bathrooms on this floor.  Kreacher responded with his usual mumblings and bowing.  Regulus went to his room to change into actual clothes.  He was suddenly glad that Iset hadn’t been in the library seeing as he was only wearing pajamas.   Returning to the library, Regulus pulled the books about Ravenclaw towards him.  

If the Dark Lord did indeed have six Horcruxes, there were three more that needed to be found.  At first, he had considered that it could be objects from the other three founders.  But, after all of his reading yesterday, he found that the only object left by Gryffindor was a goblin forged sword.  Not only would something like that be very difficult to make into a Horcrux, but the Dark Lord shared the disdain for Gryffindor that most Slytherins had.  Regulus suspected that he wouldn’t want to affix a bit of his soul to a blood traitor’s sword.  So he moved to Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw.  He’d noted Hufflepuff’s Cup down as a likely candidate.  Ravenclaw was trickier.  And what the third object might be, he had no idea.  

Iset joined him after a little bit, wearing a blue dress that clung to her body; Regulus didn’t think that he’d ever seen her wearing blue before.  It looked good.  There was gold stitching on the dress that suited her skin much better than Slytherin silver ever had.  After several moments, Regulus realized he was staring and looked down at his hands.

“You look very nice.”   He said, still looking at his hand.

“Thank you,” Iset said, and he could hear her footsteps coming towards him.  She sat on the desk facing him.  

“I’m realizing that I’ve never really seen you outside of school,” Regulus said, rubbing the back of his neck.  

“I could say the same thing,” Iset said with what could only be described as a mischievous smile.  Regulus looked down confused, he was just wearing a black silk button-up with the sleeves rolled up; certainly nothing particularly nice.  Iset reached out and ran her hand through his hair, which now went almost to his shoulders.  “I’m glad that you grew your hair out.”

“Me too,” Regulus said.  “I always thought that it looked better.  But, during first year I thought I was going to lose my mind if one more person mistook me for my brother.  So I cut my hair.”  He paused, weighing his next words, before rushing onwards.  “They would always get this shocked look, and then disappointment.  I hated it so much.  I was always being compared to him, and that was just the last straw.”

“It sucks being compared to your more attractive sibling, doesn’t it,” Iset said.  She covered her nose with her hand briefly before reaching down to pick up the coffee Regulus had brought her.  Regulus briefly remembered Tiye, Iset’s younger sister who was a year below Regulus.  It was true that she was very beautiful, but it was the same cold sort of beauty that Narcissa and Bellatrix wielded, and it had always made Regulus edgy.  Regulus reached up and rested his hand on Iset’s face, pulling her down for a kiss.  Her lips tasted like fresh coffee and cream, but somehow still of cinnamon.  When they pulled away they were both smiling.  

Iset sipped her coffee and looked over the table, which was open to the books about Ravenclaw.  “More research today?”

“Yea,” Regulus said leaning back.  “I’ve come up with two candidates for the Horcrux.  That still leaves another.  Then there are locations to think about.  The diary was entrusted to the Malfoys, which is odd.  Bellatrix has always been the Dark Lord’s most loyal servant.  If anyone was given something that important, I would have thought it would be her.”

“Maybe she has one too?”

“Maybe,” Regulus said, writing it down on his piece of paper next to ‘Ravenclaw’s Diadem’ and ‘Hufflepuff’s Cup’.  “I have no idea about the other locations.  I guess the Gaunt house was important to him.  But a cave in the cliffs? Why would he choose that?  I don’t know.”  

Iset shrugged.  “I can’t help you whatsoever.”  Regulus resisted the urge to say something like ‘you help by being here’ which, while true, sounded entirely too cheesy.

“You have your own studies,” he said instead.  She just smiled at him and picked up a pastry from the tray.  

“Back to studying we go then.”

They stayed in the library for most of the day.  When they didn’t come down for lunch, Kreacher appeared with a tray that was covered in way too much food for two people.  Regulus had found almost nothing new about Ravenclaw’s diadem.  The best he could do was make notes about important places and people to Ravenclaw.  

Sometime in the afternoon, heavy uneven steps on the stairs alerted them to company.  They could also hear Sirius’ voice.  Still, they stayed in the library; there wasn’t anyone coming for them.  Sirius could deal with it.  However, they were interrupted by a heavy fist knocking on the frame of the library door.  They looked up to see a grizzled man with two different colored eyes and a face that had more scars than face.

“Moody,” Sirius said and there was something in his face that was almost respect.  Regulus set down his book.  Then the man’s blue eye started looking around separately from his other eye.  Regulus blinked.  The eye rolled over completely, and Regulus felt his own eyes growing wide, despite his composure.  ‘Mad-eye’ Moody, indeed.  

Sirius introduced them, “This is my brother, Regulus.  And Iset Senusret.”

“Just Iset,” Iset corrected.  Moody stumped into the room with a grunt that Regulus guessed was supposed to pass for a greeting.  

“You’re the ex-Death Eater kid then,” Moody said, magical eye fixing on Regulus.  “I don’t remember seeing you during the war.”

“Well,” Regulus said, his throat feeling dry. “I didn’t exactly survive long enough to be in lots of fights.”

Moody narrowed his eyes at Regulus as if trying to decide if he was giving his sass.  If Moody was used to Sirius, then Regulus guessed he couldn’t blame him for the suspicion.  Moody’s eye turned to Iset.

“I don’t recognize you at all.”

“That’s because you’ve never met me.  My family’s Egyptian.  We weren’t part of your war.”

“Well,” Moody said, leaning on his walking stick.  “I didn’t come up here to chat.  The wards on this house are as solid as ever.  I must say they were expertly done; couldn’t do better myself.  But it looks like they are tied up to you.  Had to come up here to get a good look.  Seems the house has decided Regulus is the master.”

“Not surprised,” Sirius said, leaning against the wall.  “Dear old dad would have done everything in his power to make sure the house never went to me.”

“Well,” Moody said gruffly, turning and already heading out of the door.  “It’s Regulus’ house now.  Dumbledore said that we can still have Order meetings here.  So, I’ll let the others know.  They all want to see you.  Once I tell them the house is safe, I’m sure they’ll be knocking down your door.  Fools.  Probably won't be taking proper safety precautions either.”

Moody paused in the doorway and he didn’t turn around, but Regulus felt that blue eye on him.  “Oh, and boy.  I’ll have my eye on you.  I put your cousin and her husband in Azkaban.  I’ll do the same for you if you so much as breathe in the wrong direction.”

Regulus knew this was a threat and that he was meant to be intimidated.  But he had grown up with Walburga Black and worked for The Dark Lord himself.  No one in the Order of the Phoenix could hold a candle to that type of cruelty.

“Watch all you like, Mr. Moody,”  Regulus said cooly.  

Moody snorted. “Kids got guts,” he said and walked down the hallway.  Sirius gave Regulus a gesture that said ‘what can you do’ and followed Moody away.  

Regulus and Iset went back to their reading.  They had about an hour of silence before there was a sudden rush of voices from downstairs.  

“Guests,” Iset said.

“Indeed.”  Regulus debated going down and seeing what was going on.  But honestly, he didn’t have much interest in interacting with Sirius’ friends or dealing with the so-called Order of the Phoenix.  

However, it soon proved impossible to stay focused on their studying because more people arrived, the voices got louder, sometimes the doorbell rang and his mother’s portrait started shouting.  Regulus shut his book hard, not quite slamming it.  

“There’s no use,” he said a bit crossly.  Iset closed her book more calmly.  

“Shall we go down then?”

“I suppose so,” Regulus said with a sigh.  He looked down at himself.  In a button-up shirt and trousers, he felt under dressed for receiving company.  But these were Sirius’ sort of people, not members of the 28.  As they walked down the stairs, Regulus resisted the urge to reach out and take Iset’s hand for support.  He felt more anxious than he should be.  Instead, he offered Iset his arm, in what was probably an over formal gesture.  She took it with a smile.  They were in the main hallway and about to descend to the dining room when someone rang the bell.  The curtains of Mrs. Black’s portrait flew open and she started to shriek.

“Filth!”  But she stopped at the sight of Regulus standing in the hall.  Regulus felt pinned down by her gaze.  She looked bad, her skin had gone waxy and her eyes were bloodshot.  Walburga Black had once been a beautiful woman, but it seems that years of anger and hate had taken their toll on her looks.  

“Regulus?” she said.

“Mother,” He said stiffly. He unconsciously straightened his spine and lifted his chin.  He did not remove his arm from Iset’s.  

“My boy!” She said in a voice that was happier than she had ever sounded in his life.  “My true son.  But you, you died!”

“Yes, mother.” 

“But you are back?”

“Yes, mother?”

“And who is this?” She said, her eyes suddenly latching onto Iset.

“This is Iset, mother.”

The doorbell rang again.  Regulus sighed.  “I should open the door.”

“Wait!” Walburga screamed as Regulus turned away, taking Iset with him.  “These filth!  These blood-traitors.  Regulus!  You can’t let them in my house!”

Regulus just kept walking, though his jaw was tight.  Still, he found that the fear inside of him that always filled him at the sight of his mother was rather less gut-wrenching than it had been before.  “Regulus Arcturus Black!” She screamed.  “Don’t you turn your back on me.  Who do you think you are?”

Iset leaned into Regulus, silently offering her support.  Regulus swung the door open.  There was a woman there with bubblegum pink hair.

“Wotcher!” she said brightly, then frowned.  “Do I know you?”

“No,” Regulus said, stepping back to let her inside.  There was no more time for conversation as Walburga’s screams racketed higher and higher.

“Filthy blood-traitors standing in the house of my forefathers!  My own son letting them in!”  Tonks strode down the tall towards the portrait.  Nearly tripping over the troll leg umbrella stand on her way.

“Hello, Aunty Walburga,” she said in a cheerful tone.  “You look as ugly as always.”

“How dare you!” Walburga shrieked and Regulus blinked.  ‘Aunty Walburga’?  “You are no blood of mine!  You and your filthy blood-traitor mother!”

“Help me with these curtains?” The woman said, turning back to Regulus and Iset.  Regulus strode forward.

“Regulus Arcturus Black!  What do you think you are doing!  How dare you disrespect me like this! I raised you better than this.  Letting filth into my house.  How dare you!”

“Sorry, mother,” Regulus said.  “This is my house now.”  Then he helped the woman draw the black curtains shut.  Regulus took Iset’s arm again and they walked further down the hall away from the portrait. 

“So,” the woman said, when they were a safe distance away, and turned a curious gaze to Regulus.  “Are you really Regulus Black or has she finally gone round the twist?  You look like a Black.”

“Yes, I’m Regulus.”  

“I’m Tonks!” she said sticking out her hand.  “Mother’s Andromeda.”

“Oh,” Regulus couldn’t help but blink his surprise, even as he shook her hand.  This woman looked nothing at all like any of the Blacks he knew, and Andromeda had the same high cheekbones as the rest of them.  Maybe she took after her father, Regulus had never seen the man that Andromeda had run off with.

“Nice to meet you,” he finally managed.  “You should go on to the dining room.  It sounds like everyone is in there.”

“What? Aren’t you coming?” 

Regulus sighed. “I suppose that I am.”

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[softboywriting]

Serendipity | Shawn Mendes | Werewolf AU

Summary: After a very drunk one night stand you end up pregnant and you’re still searching for the guy you slept with, wondering if he could be your mate. Five months in and Shawn walks into your life and you think you just might have found your actual mate after all. [pregnancy] [mates] [werewolf au] [fluff]

Word Count: 4k

|Masterlist In Bio|

“Y'know, I still can't believe you got pregnant from a one night stand,” Maci says from behind the register after a customer leaves, the bell chiming upon their exit. You look over to her and she raises her eyebrows, long red hair falling to the side as she tilts her head. She is your best friend and business partner, just like the sister you never had.

“It's been five months for goodness sake. When will you stop saying that?” You laugh and turn away from restocking your homemade lavender sleep lotion. “I'm having this baby whether or not you believe it.”

“I mean obviously, that balloon is gonna pop in no time. I'm just still in awe you want to be a single mom. Why not adopt it out?”

You sigh. “We've been over this. Unlike you, I want children. And also unlike you, I'm a werewolf and I want to hold out for my mate, who I'm pretty sure doesn't exist anymore or I actually missed him and ended up with this.” You pat your striped shirt over your bulging belly.

“Still no luck? You've tried like every missed connections app for mates. And nothing? What about that one guy, Mike?”

“Micah. He was lying. As soon as he found out I was pregnant he ran faster than a Scooby Doo villain.”

Maci rolls her eyes. “Yeah, I remember now. He was the guy with the frosted tips right?”

“Yep. What a douchebag.”

Maci chuckles and comes around the counter to help you lift a crate full of bath bombs onto the shelf . You chit chat more about how you're pretty sure the guy you slept with probably lives way out of town or something. She theorizes that he is actually a spy who can never reveal his identity to keep you safe. It's a good laugh, but honestly you wish you could find him. He felt so right. It hurts to think you've missed him entirely.

___________________________

The shop door chimes and you look up from the computer at the register. You've been filling orders with Maci all morning. Christmas was approaching and everyone wanted homemade bath and body care. It helps that you saved enough to get a local ad spot on the news website, and it's definitely paying off big time.

As you glance to see who's come in and greet them, you're taken aback. The man who's come in looks familiar, though you aren't sure why. He definitely didn't go to high school with you and Maci. He also wasn't a regular. Maybe he just had one of those faces, but you don't think that's it. He feels...electric. Everything about his presence is drawing you in and you know you're staring and it's awkward now.

“Good morning. Welcome to Lunar Salt.”

The man smiles and lifts a hand. “Hey. Are you able to help me find something?”

“I sure can.” You slide off your chair and walk around the counter to meet him. He's much taller than you and he stares at you with curious eyes. The bulging stomach no doubt. “What're you looking for?”

“Hand cream. My hands get really dry with the new job I started.”

“Alright.” You lead him to the baskets of hand creams by the window. “I recommend the lemongrass and citrus. It's subtle but hydrating. If not that one, there is the cinnamon and cream that is-”

“Do I know you?”

You stop and look up at him. His eyes are gorgeous, soft and golden with hints of green. Definitely a werewolf like you. “W-what?”

The man shakes his head and apologizes. “That was so rude of me. You're just so familiar. Have we met?”

You look around nervously, chuckling a little. How weird he thought the same thing as you. “I don't think so?”

“It's just...I'm from upstate and I just moved down here with a friend nearby. It's weird but I swear I know you somehow.”

“Um, Did you go to Valley Hill high school?”

“No. Burkhead. McNamara middle school?”

“Crestridge.”

“Peterson Elementary?”

“Walker Rose Elementary.”

He laughs and looks around, seemingly stumped. His laugh is adorable, a breathy little noise that makes your heart flutter. “Well, I'm Shawn. Nice to meet you, possibly again.” He extends a hand and you shake it, skin tingling against his. This was special, he wasn't like other wolves you've met before.

“Nice to meet you.” You give your name and grab a tube of the vanilla chai hand cream. A seasonal favorite of yours and a best seller. “I recommend this one for you.”

“Why's that? Is it super moisturizing? Are my hands really that dry?” He stuffs them in his pockets self consciously.

“No...it's...complementing to you.”

“To me?”

You feel a flush rise from your chest t your cheeks and you look down with a smile before summoning the courage to look look straight at him. “Your scent.”

“Ahhhhh,” he grins huge, all his teeth showing. “I knew you were a wolf.”

“And you are too. It's not too hard to tell. Your eyes are very vibrant and your fangs are a bit hard to hide when you laugh.”

Shawn grins bigger, flashing you those fangs. “Very perceptive. I'll take the vanilla chai.”

You walk around the counter with the tube and ring it up, packaging it with a few flyers for upcoming promotions for the shop. “Five dollars please.”

Shawn slides his card and signs the receipt you pass over to him. “I didn't think I'd find another wolf so quickly in this town.”

“There aren't too many of us. When you get closer to Valley Hill you'll find a lot more.”

“Mmmm I think I'll stick to getting to know this area first.” He grabs his bag and gives you a wink as he heads out the door.

You sink down onto your chair and chuckle to yourself. Was he...flirting with you? He did see your stomach right? It was impossible to miss. And what was with that weird feeling? You roll your eyes and go back to preparing orders for when Maci got back with lunch. If it was more than a one off thing, you'd leave it for fate to decide.

___________________________

“No, she isn't here right now, she's gone to an appointment.” Maci says as you walk into the backroom and hang up your coat, returning from aforementioned appointment.

You peek your head into the front area to see who she is taking to. “Shawn,” you smile and walk out behind the counter. Maci turns, eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Looks like she's back,” Shawn grins to Maci and holds up a bag. “I brought you something.”

“You brought me something?”

“Yeah. Is that weird?”

Maci snorts. “A little.”

You smack Maci's arm. “Why did you bring me something?”

Shawn runs a hand through his hair and his cheeks turn scarlet. Bashful and cute. Absolutely perfect. “I...I thought you might like it. You helped me pick that hand cream and it works wonders. I thought I should return the favor.”

“That's just my job, but I won't say no to a gift.” You approach the counter and lean on it with a smile. “What did you bring?”

“I hope you like banana.” He pulls a paper wrapped muffin from the brown bag on the counter. “I made it myself.”

Maci chuckles. “Damn, homemade treats? That's something else.”

“You didn't have to do that.” You peek in the bag and there are about six muffins in there. “Shawn, really, I was just doing my job-”

“No! No I didn't bake them specially for you. I mean, I work at the bakery across the street. The owner is a friend and he said take some of them home since they were my first batch on my own.”

“Oh! Zack? He's the best. Thank you.”

Shawn beams and pushes the bag toward you. “So yeah, anyway. Thank you for the hand cream and stuff.”

“You should try the body wash next,” Maci chimes in, pointing to the new men's section in the corner. “We've got a sandalwood and Bergamot blend you'd probably like, and it's her favorite.”

You elbow her and she cackles. “You don't have to buy anything. Thank you again for these.”

“I'll come back later. I'm on break now but I'm definitely interested in the body wash.” Shawn steps back and waves as he leaves, jogging across the street over to the bakery.

As soon as he's gone Maci absolutely lays into you. “Who the hell is that? Where did he come from?”

“He just showed up last week. I dunno, he's cute though.”

“He's definitely into you. It's all over his face like a neon sign.”

“Yeah but I have a baby. He's just being nice.” You were not about to tell her about the buzzing feeling in your guts when he showed up the first time.

Maci rolls her eyes. “Whatever maybe he likes kids. Maybe he's into it.”

“Maci!”

She shrugs. “It's a thing! Anyway he's a werewolf right?”

“Yeah? How'd you know?”

“The man is huge, and he has fang teeth that I could see from across the street. He's definitely not human.”

“Yeah, he's a werewolf, an alpha I'm pretty sure.”

“An alpha mate?” Maci elbows you playfully. “Eh? Eh?”

You roll your eyes and shove her off the stool. “Go start getting ready to make gift baskets and shut up about my love life.”

“Love life huh? Already thinking about making him your man?”

“Shut up!” You throw a tissue box at her and she scrambles into the backroom to get the basket supplies.

___________________________

It's a Monday morning when you walk into Pettit's Pastries for a breakfast on the go. You find Shawn at the counter laying out new baked goods in the case and he grins at you.

“Hello,” you giggle with a wave you approach the case. “I've come to bother you for a change. Y'know, so you don't have to keep buying one of every product in my store just to see me.”

“Caught that eh?”

“You're not too hard to read.”

Shawn chuckles and leans on the counter top, sleeves rolls up to his elbows and apron dusted with flour. He's so attractive it hurts your heart to imagine him actually touching you with those beautiful hands. Ugh.

“What can I get for you?”

“Something sweet.”

He glances up from where he is getting ready to write on his order pad and smirks. Those eyes, his lips...God damn. “There's a lot of sweets here honey.”

“Mmhmm. Pick something for me. The best you have.”

Shawn strides along the length of the display case and back, eyes going from confectionery to you every few steps. “I would but there is a problem.”

“Yeah?” You lean on the counter, your ankles starting to hurt from standing for too long. This baby was going to be the death of you.

“I don't fit in the to go bags.”

“You don't...what...oh. Oh I see what you did there.” You chuckle and he lets out a laugh at his own corny joke. “I'll just have to settle for the chocolate cupcakes then please.”

“Yes ma'am.” He bags up two for you and places them on the counter to ring you up. “Anything else?”

“Nope.”

“Alright four dollars please.”

You pay and he walks around to meet you at the door, blocking your path momentarily. You raise your eyebrows and he rubs his neck and clears his throat a few times.

“Can I... I mean are you okay to cross the street alone? It's very snowy and I don't want to see you fall.” He offers his hand to you and you take it, your smaller one fitting in his perfectly. “I promise to keep you on your feet.”

“You’re so sweet.” You walk with him across and down to your shop, his arm around your back the whole time. “Thank you. You really didn't have to do that though.”

Shawn flushes and it is still the cutest thing you've ever seen. “I'd hate to have you fall and hurt yourself or the baby. I'm sure your mate wouldn't mind me watching out for his girl.”

Ah, there it is. He slipped that in so carefully. Slick one. “I don't have a mate. But still, your concern is appreciated.”

He grins, obviously pleasantly surprised that you aren't mated. “Would you mind going out to dinner with me then?”

“Sure...I mean even though...” You lay your hand on your stomach and he continues to grin as if that made no difference to him.

“Tomorrow night? I can pick you up?”

“Shawn. Are you sure? I'm five months pregnant and mateless, and you are asking me out on a date. You do realize this is weird?”

Shawn steps forward and sets his hand over yours on your stomach. Your body aches, a deep warm ache like it did when you were with the alpha on your birthday.  

“Honestly, I don't mind. Whether you have or are having a child doesn't make me any less attracted to you. Yeah, it's strange, if someone asked me if I would date someone under these circumstances before I met you I probably would have said no. But there's something... something about the day we met that I've never been able to shake. I think I'm supposed to be with you.”

“I-I think we should just go on a date first.”

Shawn nods. “Right...I uh, I'm sorry. I got a little weird there for a second. Dinner tomorrow?”

“Yes. Dinner tomorrow.”

He pats your hand and pulls away, jogging through the snow to the bakery and nearly slipping at the doors. You let out a chuckle and go into the shop to try and calm your racing heart and jittery nerves. You hadn't wanted to admit it but you wondered too if Shawn could be the one. The way your heart went crazy when you saw him, how you couldn't stop thinking about him and when you'll see him next. Hell, you even imagined him in your bed at night, rubbing your stomach with your shea lotion and dreamed about him frequently. He drove you crazy and the only thing holding you back was your baby. The possibility that he might reject you for it, just walk away because it's not his. That's what kept you from going all in, though all signs were definitely pointing to him being your mate.

___________________________

“So can I ask him how you happen to be pregnant and not mated?” Shawn asks about halfway through dinner. You've been expecting it all night, and you're not shocked he wants to know. It's not as if you're hiding it.

“Well, I got fucked up, took a guy home and got laid on my birthday. I was so out of it and so was the guy I was with. We didn't even think about protection until after the fact. Then when morning came he was gone.”

Shawns eyes widen. “Shit, I thought maybe you lost your mate or got inseminated or something.”

“Nope just a slut.”

“Fucking hell,” Shawn chokes on his water. “I don't think you're a slut. Everyone makes mistakes, one night stands happen. Shit happens.”

You roll your eyes. “Tell that to my parents. They don't think very highly of me right now.”

“It's not their place to judge your choices. Besides, you're a successful business owner, what harm is there in wanting a family?”

“Yeah...they don't understand. It's fine though. I'll be happy with my little buddy and Maci until I do find my mate.”

Shawn leans his chin on his hand. “Do you think the man who got you pregnant was your mate?”

You shrug. “I think I felt something with him. I definitely don't make a habit of getting that drunk and sleeping with just any guys. I just wish I could remember more, but I was super drunk and it's been so long I can't.”

“Hey,” Shawn reaches across the table and takes your hand. “Why don't we focus on the here and now. I'm definitely seriously attracted to you and it's making me wonder if I've found my mate because I've never had this sort of attraction and need for someone before.”

You chew on your lip and flush. “I know. I have wondered about it too. I just ...I want to make sure y'know?”

“I totally understand. We can go as slow as you want.”

“Thanks. For the record though, you do drive me crazy too and I really want to spend every second of every day with you. Seriously. Every time you're in the shop I lose my shit inside and get this buzzing feeling.”

Shawn laughs, head thrown back as he covers his chest with his hand. “So much for wanting to take things slow!”

“Hey! I still wanna go slow, I'm popping a kid out here in less than three months now and I need to know if you're actually going to be interested in me when I'm toting an infant around.”

Shawn goes quiet, leaning in and suddenly looking very serious. “I told you, the baby isn't a problem and won't change how attracted I am to you. I'm excited to meet it, oddly anxious to hold it too. So I think I'll still want to stick around.”

“Shawn...I don't get it, why are you so excited? We've known each other for about a month. It's not even your baby.”

“Oh. Um...it's just, I just...I feel it. And I don't know why I'm excited, I just am. I can't explain it. It's seriously the strangest feeling because I know we've just recently met but it feels like I've known you for ages and I'm just picking up where I left off somehow.” He runs his hand over his hair and looks out the window where the snow is falling heavily. “I feel the pull of a mate and I want to make you mine so badly it's maddening.”

You reach across the table and lay your hand on his arm. “If you're serious, come with me to my appointment this Friday. I know it's right before Christmas, but I'm finally going to find out the gender because I've been putting it off until I settled on a name for a girl and a boy. Well, also because I'm anxious, but either way, come with me?”

Shawn covers your hand with his. “I'll go with. I'm not doing anything anyways, Zack's closing the bakery until after Christmas so he can be with his family upstate.”

You smile and he just smiles back. So this is what a mate feels like. Warm, safe, trusted and comfortable. You hope it lasts.

___________________________

You open the front door to your apartment and invite Shawn in to wait while you finish up getting ready for the appointment. He wanders over to the kitchen and you walk back to your room to get your shoes.

“Can I ask you something?” Shawn calls out after a minute.

You walk back into the living area and look at where he's standing with his hands on a denim jacket on the back of your dining chair. For a moment you feel sick, realizing how this must seem. That jacket was left by the alpha you slept with on your birthday. You had kept it just to use it to try and find him again. Obviously that didn't work.

“Where'd you get this?”

“It's from the guy who I slept with on my birthday. I promise it's not someone else's. I'm not seeing anyone.” You pull your tennis shoes on and wiggle your toes around to get comfortable. “I need to just donate it because I'm never-”

“When is your birthday?”

“Huh?”

“When is your birthday?”

“July 24th? Why?”

Shawn leans on the chair and chuckles. “Where did you meet this alpha?”

“At Nix? The club in Valley Hill?” You stand and walk over to him. “Why are you asking me all this? This is just a jacket I need to get rid of. I'm not lying to you.”

“I know you're not because this is my jacket.”

“What?”

Shawn pulls it off the chair and puts it on over his hoodie. “Everything makes sense, that's why we know each other but we can’t remember. It's why we're so close. I was at Nix that night with Zack and some friends who were celebrating their birthday too. I-I can prove it.”

“Shawn, you're crazy. I like you, I really do, but this is insanity.”

“No, I'm not crazy. Listen. In the pocket there is a set of keys.” He pats the front denim pocket. “Take them out and match them to my keys.” He hands you his keys from his pants pocket and you fish the ones out of the jacket.

Sure enough the diamond shaped house key matches. There's a Jeep fob on each one as well.  You cross the apartment and go to the front window, clicking the unlock button on the jacket keys and aiming it at Shawn's Jeep. It unlocks the car, the lights flash on for a moment. Your stomach drops and you look at Shawn.

“Everything makes sense,” you mumble.

Shawn walks over and cups your face in his hands. “Yes, it does and I'm going to be a dad and you're my mate. You're my mate!”

You hold his arms and laugh, tears spilling over the corners of your eyes. “I have a mate!”

“Yeah, you do.” Shawn leans in and kisses you softly.

You wrap your arms around him and squeeze tight, your stomach pushing against him. “I tried to find you for months. I did everything I could think of. Why did you leave?”

“I panicked. I couldn't remember where I was or anything, I'm pretty sure I was still drunk when I woke up and I didn't want to bother you so I just left and found my way back to Zack's place. God if I had known, if I had even considered the possibility of being your mate I never would have left.” He runs his hand through your hair. “I promise I'll never leave again.”

“We were pretty drunk. We probably shouldn't have had sex, but I don't regret it. I don't regret a single thing.”

Shawn drops down and holds your tummy, kissing it gently. “Mates always find each other right?” He looks up at you. “I knew I would find you one day. I didn't know how or when but I knew I would.” He leans his head on your belly and you run your hand over his hair.

“I stopped believing for a while, but when I met you that day in the shop. I knew you were the one, I felt it.” You tap his shoulder for him to stand up and he does. “As excited as I am to have a mate, we have to go to the appointment and find out what our baby is.”

“Shit. Right. Are you ready?” He asks and you nod. He threads his fingers between yours and the two of you head to the car to go to your appointment.

___________________________

Two months and twelve days later you and Shawn have a tiny little baby boy. He was five pounds ten ounces, small considering he's a werewolf. Shawn blames himself, saying that not being there for the full pregnancy made him not grow as big. It's ridiculous and you won't hear it, saying that he's probably small because you were a small baby too.

The moment the nurse brought the in baby; who's name you decided was Milo, into the recovery room, Shawn lost his mind. He immediately grabbed for him, cooing and awing as the nurse set him in his arms and showed him how to support Milo's head. The way Shawn looked at that baby was like nothing else mattered in the world.

The baby looked so tiny in comparison to Shawn. So much like just a wad of blankets he was holding tenderly. You couldn't help but fall in love with the two of them. It was amazing. You can't believe how lucky you are to have this, and you know Shawn feels the same. From that moment on, you knew you would be living a an actual dream.

The end

Thank you everyone who read this! Please reblog and leave feedback/let me know what you think.

I know this is short and quick but it’s just something I’ve wanted to write and and I idea I’ve toyed with for a while. 

Thank you so much.

[imagine-loki]

Gifted

TITLE: Gifted (Sequel to Giftless)

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 11/?

AUTHOR: nekoamamori ORIGINAL IMAGINE: 

Imagine that you are Stark’s niece and you secretly share a strong relationship with Loki since he entered the crew. One day you get hurt so bad during a mission that you are about to die.  Loki knows a spell that will save you and share his immortality with you but you and he will be linked forever sharing thoughts, pain, emotions…

RATING: T NOTES/WARNINGS:  Also on AO3 click here

Somehow, Loki didn’t fight you the next morning when you insisted that you needed to go to class. He understood keeping up with your studies, even if he did want you to rest properly.  At least you only had a couple of lecture classes that day, so it wouldn’t be too strenuous.  You’d agreed that Loki could come with you as long as he didn’t misbehave too terribly during them. 

You laughed at him when he tried to leave the tower in his black suit of sexiness. He wasn’t dressing in his battle armor, since he wasn’t technically coming as your guard, but he wasn’t going to fit in wearing a full suit on campus.  Especially not that suit. “You can’t dress like that for college. Unless you’re teaching the class. And even then…” He looked at you confused. You were wearing your usual jeans, t-shirt, converse, and a hoodie stolen from Loki’s closet, your hair braided out of your way. Loki sighed, looking put upon, but magicked himself a pair of perfectly tailored jeans and a comfortable, but elegant sweater. You rolled your eyes, but that was the best you were going to get out of him. “Sit,” you told him, pushing him to one of the nearby chairs.

“So demanding this morning,” he teased, but sat obediently in the chair you’d pushed him into.  You weren’t giving him much of a choice.  Sure he could overpower you, but that would upset you, which he didn’t want.

“You’re trying to blend in, right?” you asked. He sighed, looking even more put-upon, but let you brush his shoulder-length hair. He pretended to be annoyed, but was purring within moments of you touching his hair.  You were one of the very few who could get away with touching his precious hair and he cherished the touch.  You pulled it quickly into a slightly messy manbun at the back of his head.

“What did you do to my hair?” he asked when he stood again and saw it in a mirror. He wasn’t upset, just curious.  You hadn’t hurt his hair or cut it off, so you were safe from his ire.

“Lots of guys wear their hair like that now. It lets you get away with having long hair without people thinking it’s weird,” you explained easily.  You then gave him a mischievous grin and stood up on your toes to place a kiss on part of his neck that was usually covered in hair. “Plus I can do that,” you replied while he shivered at the new sensation and purred. 

You drove to campus and parked, mostly because Loki didn’t know exactly where he was going. He offered to teleport you, but you reminded him again that you were trying to blend in and lie low. It was hard enough blending in being who you were.

Once you had parked, you led Loki to the campus coffee shop to get caffeine. The barista started making your order the second you walked in. You were definitely a regular.  You placed an order for Loki, choosing something he’d like, since he’d never been there before and didn’t know what to order for himself. “New boyfriend?” the barista asked when you picked up your drink. Which was announced for ‘Sigyn’ even when you hadn’t given your name.

You grinned at her. “Nope, same boyfriend I’ve had for two years,” you replied. She just stared when she realized that meant that the man with you was the real Loki. “It’s just his first time visiting campus,” you handed Loki his drink and you left the shop to walk to class. It was nice feeling normal for once, getting to stroll to class with your boyfriend. You strolled leisurely across the beautiful campus and made it to class in plenty of time.

The lecture hall was huge and you hoped the professor wouldn’t notice the extra student. You didn’t need to worry. If they noticed, they wisely didn’t say anything. There were whispers from some of the students, but nothing major that you couldn’t ignore. 

You had to stab Loki hard in the side with a pen when he was flirting innocently with some of the college girls who wouldn’t leave him alone. They giggled at his expression when he got ‘caught’. Silly Trickster boyfriend. He didn’t cause too much trouble though, so you took him out to a yummy lunch on campus. It wasn’t a fancy place, since it was on a college campus, but it was still a nice meal.

After your other class of the day, you headed back to the tower. You’d had to promise Tony and Pepper that you would hang out with them some that weekend instead of just hiding in your apartment. You also had no food in your apartment and didn’t want to go shopping, so you let Loki drive you home to the tower. He really liked driving because he couldn’t on Asgard; he also liked being the gentleman and doing the driving.  He could be extremely old fashioned at times.

You did your homework quickly for the weekend in your pajamas in the common room. You weren’t going anywhere else that afternoon, so it really didn’t matter if you were in pajamas. Even if your uncle grumbled that you were wearing a spaghetti strap tank top. It wasn’t scandalous, but he was your uncle and claimed he didn’t want to see that much skin. 

You luckily didn’t have much homework, but you still wanted it all done so you could enjoy your weekend. You also really loved having access to all of Loki’s knowledge through the soulbond. It made your classwork and homework a lot easier. Yes, it was cheating. No, you didn’t care. You were too overworked as it was. And it wasn’t like you didn’t know the information.  You were just doing the college thing at all to get the degree.

While you were working on homework, Loki got a summons to go talk to Fury. He looked worried at leaving you and really didn’t like Fury much, so didn’t want to see him.. “Lo, it’ll be what, five minutes? You know Fury doesn’t do speeches. I’m just going to sit here and finish this assignment. He probably just has some paperwork or something for you to fill out,” you reminded him. 

He sighed, but got off of the couch and moved to your end of the couch to lean down and give you a kiss. “I will return soon,” he promised. He teleported down to Fury’s office and you went back to your assignment. 

You should’ve known things wouldn’t stay quiet.

A few minutes after Loki had left, the one of the apprentice healers portaled into the room. “Kat, good, you’re here!” she exclaimed. 

You shook your head, hurt that you wouldn’t be able to help with whatever emergency they had found this time. “I can’t help, Claire,” you reminded her, holding up your wrist with the bangle on it. You knew for a fact that all of the healers had been warned that you were out of commission.  Claire completely ignored you, grabbed your hand, made a portal, and dragged you through it. “Claire, I literally cannot help,” you reminded her again. Usually the healers weren’t quite this ninny-like.

“All of the healers are tapped or out on patrol. You’re the only one with any juice left. You have to take this case, Kat,” she pleaded. There weren’t many healers, really besides Healer Julia most of them only had a touch of healing power in addition to their main ability. You sighed and let her drag you to Healer Julia’s desk. Julia was nearly passed out sitting at her desk chair, you could see how drained she was. She recovered insanely quickly, in a couple hours she’d be fine to work again, but she didn’t have the same level of healing strength that you did.

“I know you’re off duty,” Julia greeted you when you were standing in front of her desk. “But it’s Pepper-”

“Aunt Pepper?” you demanded, completely on alert then. “What happened?” you asked, your brain automatically going into healer mode and emergency to deal with mode.  It was the same state you’d been in for most of the last year and your mind instantly wanted to help.

“She was severely injured on patrol.” That was strange. Middle of the day patrols were notoriously safe. Pepper should have been fine. Hel, she shouldn’t have even been out on patrol.  She should’ve been at Stark Industries.  

Julia was digging in her desk drawer for something. She dumped the entire drawer’s contents on the floor and pulled out a key from the mess. “Your uncle should forgive you for this when you save his fiancee,” Julia replied with a glint in her eye. She unlocked the metal bangle around your wrist. She had the whole rest of the infirmary to deal with. Leaving you just the one patient.

Tony was going to kill you, but you couldn’t let Pepper die. They wouldn’t have called you if it wasn’t urgent. “Where is she?” you demanded of Claire. You ran together to the emergency bay. 

You knew the second that you saw Pepper that the healers were right to call you. You had seen wounds that bad and in this same method only twice before. Pepper had been impaled by a large metal spear. “This is bad,” you told Claire. She didn’t have healing magic, but volunteered in the infirmary anyway. You had to focus to call up your healing magic, to get your hands to glow. 

Shit. 

You was still too drained for this healing, but you were going to have to do it anyway. You were the only one who could, if you wanted Pepper to live. Pepper had been nearly gutted when she was impaled. She would die and you couldn’t let that happen. 

You went to her side, your hands just above the wound in her chest. “Pull the spear,” you told Claire firmly. You had gotten used to taking charge in the infirmary over the past year and the healers obeyed your orders without question.  You placed both of your hands on Pepper’s wounds the second the spear was cleared and threw every ounce of power you could muster into her, praying it would be enough to save her.

Tony would be devastated if Pepper didn’t survive.

You didn’t know how long the healing took. You were low enough on power that you were lost to the healing trance. You’d had to let it sweep over you, sweep you away before you could even start the healing. Things were bad when you had to let the power guide you and not the other way around.

“Kat! No!” you heard Loki’s voice from far away. His cool arms wrapped firmly around your waist and hauled you bodily away from Pepper’s bed, breaking your physical contact with her. Your powers were too weak to do the healing with out touching her and the magic snapped.

“Loki?” you asked softly, confused. You looked over Pepper. She was healed, or very nearly. She’d be sore, might scar, but she was healed. She would be just fine.

Loki carefully set you on your feet, like he was evaluating-

Your legs buckled and you would’ve been on the ground if his arms hadn’t still been around you. He caught you easily and supported you.  “M‘m ok,” you murmured, wondering why your vision was dark and getting blacker by the moment. He cursed and you looked up at him, still confused. You were just tired from the massive healing. He held you against him with one arm and used his other hand to summon a portal, through which your uncle fell.  It seemed he’d picked up the portal trick from Doctor Strange. 

“What the hell?” Tony roared in anger. Loki lifted you off of your feet and handed you to Tony.

“Keep her away from Lady Potts,” Loki ordered, gesturing to Pepper on the bed. He stormed out of the room without another word. 

“Kat? What’s going on-? Shit! What the hell happened to you?” Tony demanded, turning his attention to you, even above Pepper. He laid you on the couch in the emergency bay.

“I’m fine, Tony,” you tried to insist.

“You’re bleeding from your eyes, and nose, and ears,” Tony replied as he looked you over. “You haven’t been able to move an inch since I got here. And your eyes are…black. What the hell were you thinking?” he demanded, terror in his voice.  This was magic.  Tony couldn’t fix magic. 

“Pepper,” you told him simply. It finally got through to his brain that it was Pepper lying on the bed. “Go to her. I’m fine,” you added. You weren’t fine.  You were a dirty, rotten liar.  Now that the adrenaline of emergency healing was gone, you realized how badly you weren’t fine. Luckily, you were bound to the god of lies, and Tony believed you.  Or at least believed you enough to determine you were stable while he evaluated Pepper. 

Loki stormed back in a minute later. He ran to your side when he realized that Tony was dealing with Pepper and not you. “You were supposed to take care of her,” Loki growled at Tony.  He had left you in your uncle’s care.

“She’s fine,” Tony replied, too busy examining his fiancée.  He really thought you were stable.

“She is anything but fine. Her body was seconds from shutting down. I don’t even know how she even completed that healing. She should have passed out long before she got to this state.” Loki replied heatedly, fretting over you.  

“Lo, the wound-” you had to tell him where you’d seen it before. Each breath hurt, everything hurt.  Your body was pissed at your abuse of it.  

You managed to move your hand enough to touch Loki’s. You could switch to telepathy with physical contact.  You were too weak to do it otherwise.  /I’ve only seen that kind of wound twice before. When Thor did it to you and Tony/ you told him, desperate to deliver your message.

“Stop that,” Loki snapped at your use of telepathy.  You realized how bad you must look when his voice turned harsh toward you. He fastened the bangle back around your wrist himself. 

Yeah, he was pissed. 

“We will deal with Thor later. Right now, we are leaving.” Loki scooped you up in his cool arms. You couldn’t have fought him if you wanted to. You didn’t want to. You wanted to rest and sleep forever and your head lulled onto his shoulder.

“Where are you going?” Tony demanded, whirling when Loki said you were leaving.

“I’m taking her to Asgard. She obviously cannot get any rest here. She would have died today had I not intervened,” Loki told him, not bothering to mince his words.

“Couldn’t let Pepper die,” you replied sleepily, your eyes closing when you were safely in Loki’s arms.

“Stay awake, darling, just a little longer,” he bid you, finally softening his tone. 

Tony reluctantly nodded once.

“Go. Get her out of here. You’re right. This just proves that we can’t keep them from abusing her kindness or her healing gift. Not while she’s here.” Tony came over to Loki, and therefore to you. “Thanks for saving her, imp. Now go rest. You need to heal.” He kissed your forehead. “Take care of her,” he ordered Loki. Loki nodded, then recited the spell to open the portal back to Asgard.

[thecleverdame]

Control and Release - 5

Series Masterlist

TEDTalk!Sam x Reader

Summary: With the rest of the staff caught in a snowstorm, you find yourself acting as a personal assistant to the notorious Sam Winchester.

Warnings: Humiliation, embarrassment, sexual objectification, mutual masturbation, spanking, dub-con,

Words: 3.1k

Beta: @ilikaicalie

Parts Six and Seven are currently available on Patreon for a monthly pledge of $2.50. This includes early access to all my stories and Patreon exclusive content.  >> CLICK HERE <<

-

That Friday night, after a quick run and pre-packaged dinner you settle in for a quiet night at home. If you go out, it’s always on a Saturday, Fridays are typically reserved for decompression, a little self-care, and Netflix.

It’s almost midnight when you finally shut off the TV, but don’t move off the couch. Sam’s homework has been on your mind since you left, dazed and confused, earlier that afternoon.

It’s an interesting prospect, the idea that his control reaches outside of your in-person meetings. He wants to work his way into your everyday routine, little reminders of his ability to get you to follow orders. You don’t have to do anything, he’d probably never know the difference. He’s only able to exert as much control as you’re willing to give up and you can recognize the power in that.

But there is something appealing about the idea of giving these pieces of yourself to him. There’s something about the concept of obeying orders that appeals to a part of your desires that are suddenly alive and vying for control.

Lying back on the couch you snake a hand inside your pajama pants, rubbing your clit, remembering how it felt when he was touching you. It doesn't take long, just a few minutes of letting your mind wander and fingers stoke. It’s not long before all too familiar need blossoms between your legs. Dipping a finger into your pussy you’re not all surprised at how wet you are. It feels like you’ve been in a state of arousal since your first encounter, neediness that grows with each passing day.

Using your own slick you go back to touching yourself, bringing your body right to the edge before removing your hand. You give yourself a minute, allowing your body to calm down and then resume the touch, edging yourself again. And then again. You almost cum, it’s a close call but right before you’re about to tip over that edge you pull your hand away, legs clenched together, teeth sunk into your bottom lip.

That night you lay in bed in frustration, pussy aching with no relief in sight. You don’t touch yourself again until the following morning when you complete the task again, edging twice before getting up for the day. By the time the weekend is over you’re a desperate mess ready to do just about anything to find relief.

-

Monday becomes Tuesday and there’s still no word from Sam. Attempting to focus on work is a task in and of itself because you’re living in constant anticipation of what his next move might be.

“Hey, you.” Max is suddenly in your cubicle, sitting on the edge of the desk.

“Hi,” you smile, glad for any and all distractions. “Long time, no see.”

“I’ve been working on the Jablonski case. A bunch of us got sent to Orlando for depositions.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal, but in truth, he loves to peacock. “Trina told me you’re working on some hush-hush project with Sam. What the hell does he have you working on?”

He’s teasing but he also wants the details. Max is always in everyone’s business, it’s how he got to where he is. He uses any and all information to his advantage. The last thing you need is him sniffing around.

“I can’t talk about it.” You mime zipping your lips with your fingers.

“Oh, come on,” he places a hand over his heart. “It’s me. Give me a hint.”

“I can’t.” You nod succinctly.

“Did you hear he chewed Lacy a new one? I don’t know what she did but Pepper said she was hysterical after she left his office. Didn’t stop crying for an hour. He’s got a real way with people.”

“He’s got high expectations.” You shrug, squeezing your thighs together at thought of your dirty little secret.

“You must have figured out how to work with him. He doesn’t tolerate any of us lowly plebs.” He grins, leaning closer. “Come on, give me a hint.”

“Nope.”

“I’ll get it outta you.” He grins.

Max is all charm. There was a time when you entertained the idea of hooking up with him but those days are long since past. The idea that anyone will ever make you feel as exhilarated as Sam is laughable.

“No, you won’t.” You tap the desk, spinning the chair back toward the computer. “I really need to finish this.”

“What you really need to do is wrap up for the day. Let’s go to Lucky’s and have a drink, I still owe you one.”

Sighing, you look at his lopsided smile. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not? I don’t bite, too hard.” He’s grinning like a wolf.

“Number one,” You raise a finger. “I don’t date people I work with. Number two, I’m kinda seeing someone.”

“Well, as luck would have it, I’m not trying to sleep with you.” He makes the sign of a cross over his heart. “And frankly my feelings are hurt that you think I have such salacious motives. I’m nothing if not a gentleman.”

“Alright,” you roll your eyes. “Enough with the choir boy routine.”

“One drink, no ulterior motives. We’re friends, that’s all.” He offers.

The truth is you don’t have many friends, certainly no one at work. It would be nice to make an actual connection.

“One  drink, nothing else.” You warn.

“I swear.”

-

By Thursday you’re sure Sam’s homework is designed to kill you. You’ve almost given in half a dozen times, desperate for orgasm but somehow summoning enough resolve to not indulge. But you’re not sure how much longer you can keep it up.

Your phone vibrates in your purse and you retrieve it, looking at a text message from an unknown number.

Come to my office. Bring your phone.

You nearly jump out of your seat, phone in hand as you jog to the elevators. Every time you’ve been with him it’s a different experience and today will no doubt be something new.

Pepper’s desk is empty and the door to Sam’s office is open. You approach, listening to Sam’s voice as you pop your head in the door with a gentle knock on the doorframe. Sam’s on the phone, but looks up, motioning for you to come inside. Pepper is taking notes, glaring at you from her seat.

“That’s fine - I just don’t want to get caught up in something we’re not prepared for - I understand - That’s no problem - I’ll see you next week - you too.”

He turns to Pepper. “Set up a meeting with him next week. It needs to be in-person, so if he can’t come to me I’ll need the necessary arrangements to go to California.”

“Of course,” Pepper nods. “The finance team needs five minutes later this afternoon. Devin wants final approval of several projects before he starts allocating specific budgets.”

“Whatever he needs.” Sam looks to you, his tongue darting out over his lower lip. “Are you free right now, Y/N?”

“Of course.” You offer, afraid to speak to him in front of anyone else. It feels like this secret might tumble out without warning.

“Wonderful.” He quips, plucking his suit jacket from the back of the chair. “I’ll be back in an hour.”

You follow as he walks out of the office, never exactly sure of what he expects. Standing next to him on the elevator you’re silent as the door slides closed.

“How are you?” He asks, looking forward.

“Frustrated.” You answer honestly.

“Sounds like you completed the tasks I gave you.” The comment sounds off-handed as if he’s talking about the weather while he adjusts his watch.

“I did.” The floors tick by as you descend. “It was...challenging.”

“I wouldn’t have picked you for my special project if I didn’t think you weren’t up for a challenge.” He turns toward you, looking you over in approval. “Besides, that was just the beginning. We’re going to test all kinds of limits.”

The elevator dings and you follow him out into the lobby of the main building. People part like the Red Sea, watching him as he strides toward the doors.

“Where are we going?”

“There.” He points across the campus to the new construction.

The company is growing at a exponential rate. There's always renovation or new buildings popping up. This building is much smaller than the one you currently work in, it looks to be four or five stories. “Who’s going to work here?”

“IT,” Sam replies, climbing the stairs as you bound behind him.

There’s a construction team breaking for lunch,  men sitting on the floor eating sandwiches and McDonald's. The foreman makes his way over to Sam, blueprints in hand.

“Mr. Winchester!” He smiles.

“How’s progress?” Sam shakes his hand, looking around the naked room, electric wires hanging from the gutted ceiling.

“Right on schedule.” The foreman glances at you before showing Sam the new set of schematics. After several minutes Sam signs off on the upcoming work. “The top floor is finished?”

“Last week.  I sent your assistant,” he hesitates to look at you. “Your other assistant, the photos. The keycard should work, go check it out.”

“I think we will.” Sam nods.

--

Sam slides his keycard at the glass doors and they open automatically. There are rows and rows of computers in a bright open space with smaller offices off each side of the room.

“The rest of the building should be ready by the end of the month.” He explains, not bothering to turn on the overhead lights. He wanders off toward the back and you follow him into a brightly decorated breakroom. Complete with unused ping pong table and big screen TV. “I thought about moving my office, but I like my current view.”

He turns back to look at you, taking a seat on a small couch next to the coffee machine.

“It’s nice.” It’s hard to make small talk, not when all you can think about is whether he’ll put his hands on you again. “Why did you bring me here?”

“I wanted to get out of my office.” He shrugs, palm ghosting over the crotch of his pants. “Take your clothes off.”

Here we go.

You strip on command, shedding your clothes until you’re completely naked, standing in front of him with arms at your sides.

“You wore your hair up.” He smiles approvingly.

“Everyday, since you asked me to. Would you like me to take it down?”

He bows his head in confirmation. You pull out the pins holding the bun in place, letting hair fall around your shoulders.

“How many times did you masturbate between the last time you were with me and today?” Sam has a way of asking this kind of filthy question like he wants to know what you’re having for lunch.

“Every morning and night, just like you told me to.”

“Did you let yourself cum?”

“No.”

“What did you think about when you touched yourself?” His head tilts to the side, staring at your tits. You blush, looking at the floor and he corrects you instantly. “Look at me when I’m asking a question.”

You snap to attention, a familiar tingle blooming between your legs.

“I thought about the way you touch me, how you talk to me.” You have to shift your weight from one foot to the other, feeling vulnerable on multiple levels. “All the things I want you to do to me.”

“What kinds of things?” His fingers playing over his belt buckle, eyes never leaving you.

“I want you to touch me, fuck me, cum on me.” You force yourself to confess more. “I liked it when you spanked me. I’ve never experienced pain and sex before. It makes me wonder what else I’d like.”

“We’re going to find out.” His eyes hone in on you, curling a finger for you to come to him. He sits up as you stand in front of him. His hand slides between your legs, slapping your thighs apart. “Wider.”

You adjust your stance, as he reaches between your legs, pressing his thumb over your clit. At the pressure your eyes roll back into your head, a whimper escaping.

His thumb continues to rub, while his middle and index finger slide along your slit, pushing in with just the tips. “What do you want most right now?”

“Something inside of me.” You whimper, hands clenching at your sides.

“When you were touching yourself, did you fill up your cunt?”

“Yes,” You nod. His fingers are stroking lightly over your sex.

“What did you use? Your fingers?” He looks up at you, awaiting a response.

“Yes...and...a vibrator.” You manage to choke out.

“From now on, nothing goes in your pussy unless it’s my fingers or my cock. Understood?”

“Yes,” you nod, teeth sinking into your lower lip.

His hand leaves your body, and you open your eyes, looking down at him. He gets one glance at the desperation on your face and chuckles as he undoes his belt.

“I’m going to let you use my cock.” He explains, sliding his slacks down, then his underwear as his thick cock springs upward, curved toward his stomach. “No fucking, just rub your pussy on me until you cum.”

You’re excited and ashamed but ready to do almost anything to get some relief. “Okay.”

He grabs your hips as you straddle his lap. You have to watch to line yourself up, trapping his cock between your crotch and his stomach. You slide your pussy along the underside of his shaft as you roll your hips up and down, coating his length in slick. The feeling of anything other than your own fingers almost does you in with one pass. The swollen crown of his cock catches under the hood of your clit and you let it press back and forth, up and down against the V under the head of his dick before going back to the long strokes, letting the length of him slide between the dripping lips of your cunt.

In no time he’s coated in your arousal, allowing you to easily slide over him, your clit throbbing, aching at the constant drag. It takes every ounce of self-restraint not to mount him and sink down on his dick.

“I’m gonna cum.” You rasp, bracing as your fingers curl into the thick muscle of his shoulders.

“Go ahead.” He grunts, watching intently as you rub yourself up and down his cock.

Pleasure racks every inch of your body with the most intense orgasm you’ve ever felt in your life. All those early mornings and late nights teasing yourself, culminate in this one burst of pleasure that has you shaking from the force of the release. You can’t help the moan that erupts from your throat as you cum so hard you can barely see straight. When it’s finally over you slump forward, resting your forehead on his shoulder, pussy twitching and pulsing against his erection.

“Thank you.” You whisper and he pats your ass cheek in response.

“You deserve it.” He pushes you back, looking you in the eyes. Both his hands cup your jaw, it’s a gentle touch that's out of character, but his words make up for it. “Now, get on your knees and suck my cock like a whore.”

You blink, empty cunt clenching at the word whore, your body reacting despite the fact that you’ve just had an earth-shattering orgasm. Slithering off his lap you drop down to your knees between his legs and quickly take him into your mouth.

You can taste yourself as his hand twists into your hair, lifting you up and down on his cock. The first few minutes are just a warm up as you get used to the size of him, taking him further and further into your throat with every pump of your mouth.

When his patience runs thin he takes matters into his own hands, holding your head in place while he fucks up into your mouth for the better part of twenty minutes. When he gets close he holds you down, forcing you to take every inch before finally easing up, letting you suck him at your own pace.

He cums, spurting thick and warm. You swallow immediately, letting him fill your mouth a second time before he’s done cumming. Then continue sucking the head of his cock until he grabs your hair and pulls you off his dick.

“Did you swallow it all?” He asks, watching spit drip from your chin.

“Yes.” You gasp.

His thumb hooks over your bottom lip, pulling your jaw open. “Let me see.”

Opening wide for inspection, you feel his thumb rub over your tongue, sliding into the back of your mouth before releasing you.

“Next time I cum in your mouth I want you to hold it, don’t swallow until I tell you.” His knuckles slide over your cheek.

“Okay.” You whisper. “I will.”

“I know.” He tucks himself back into his pants. “Tomorrow I want you here by six thirty am. I’ll text you instructions in the morning.”

-

It’s on the walk back to the main building that you remember his request. “You asked me to bring my phone.”

“I did, thank you for reminding me.” He holds out his hand for your iPhone. “What’s your pin?”

“Um,” you hesitate but answer before you think better of it. “Twenty-two, fifty-two, eighteen.”

He thumbs in your code and unlocks the screen, opening your text messages.

“Hey!” You protest, reaching toward him. He jerks his hands away, shooting you a look of utter intolerance, raising his eyebrow until you slink back, unhappily crossing your arms. You stand watching as he skims your messages, then opens the thread from the unknown number he texted you from earlier. Opening the contacts he inserts a name before handing it back to you.

“Keith Campbell.” You read. “You can’t just check my phone, go through my personal things.”

“I just did.” He looks at you, glancing up to nod at a passing employee. “Don't worry, I have no interest in monitoring your texts. As long as you’re sticking our agreement.”

“I am.” You confirm.

“Then pull yourself together. We’re going to have a big day tomorrow.”

-

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