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thebestofoneshots · 8 months ago

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Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 7.6 K Warnings: None Prompt: Time to wrap it all up, and perhaps receive one or two surprises. This IS a Wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it. Proofread by lovely: @aremuslupinsimp

Chapter 42: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Wednesday, December 23rd

The art store was small, but filled with colours all around. Small little black cabinets with golden numbers on top behind the counter, and walls lined with different paint pots and colours, a wall with wooden frames and delicately separated boxes that held paint brushes of all different sizes and shapes and, by the bits you’d read, also materials.

At the top of the cabinets there was a small display of colourful markers and pens and other things that you knew muggles used but you weren’t too familiar with. Apparently, they used stick glue instead of sticking spells to adhere stuff. You wondered how much of this stuff Sirius actually knew about and vowed to bring him to this place with you one day.

And while you did appreciate art, thoroughly – you’d gone to multiple museums, both muggle and wizarding through your trips – you had no idea what the difference was between gouache and acrylic, or why the “Rembrandt” that claimed to be made out of oil, where much more expensive than the “Winsor & Newton” ones that claimed the same. It had to be because of the quality, right?

“Good evening, may I help you?” a young man, probably in his late twenties asked as he approached you. He was dressed in rather formal clothes and had a pair of thin-rimmed golden glasses. You would have probably considered him attractive if you hadn’t been accustomed to Sirius’ dashing looks or Remus’ lovely smile. You really were lucky to be surrounded by handsome and pretty humans, you thought, thinking of the rest of your friends.

You must have looked as lost as a Bowtruckle in the middle of New York since he looked like he would try to be overly polite.

“I’m looking for a gift, my boyfriend loves to draw, but I’m… not really good with all the supplies and stuff, I was thinking perhaps a nice set of pencils and a sketchbook. I’ve been looking through the paints as well, but I don’t think he’s the kind to do the whole canvas thing, at least not while we’re in school.”

“Well, does he colour his drawings?”

You thought about it for a moment, what he’d shown you were mostly sketches done in pencil, though there were some with an underlayer of red and or blue. “I think he uses some for the base of the drawings.”

“Does he overline them?” The expression you gave him when he asked made him clarify it. “After the pencil sketch is done, does he add a pen or marker to finish up the details?”

Sirius did not do that, but you also thought how complicated it would be to do such a thing with a quill instead of the pens and trinkets the muggles had invented so you nodded in response. “Yeah… not that often but I’m sure he’d like something to be able to do it.”

“All right, follow me,” he said as he motioned to one of the furthest walls. “This is where we keep all of our sketchbooks, the thicker the grammage the stronger pens and markers it will hold. Also, some can even hold watercolour, not sure if he’s into that too.”

“Do you have like – a book on the basics of watercoloring? I feel like he might actually be interested in that.”

“We do,” he said with a nod and moved to the other side of the store bringing you a few options. You picked one of them and then looked through the sketchbooks. There were different sizes and colours and the pages felt really different on most of them. Some were especially made for watercolours and some were for drawing. You took one with about 100 pages for watercolour and one with the same amount of pages but with a bit less grammage for sketches.

They both had a black cover with golden elegant trims that you thought would definitely go with Sirius’ look, although one opened from the side, making it more of a panoramic view while the other one stayed horizontal. You handed them in to the guy and he took them to the counter as you continued looking around. You leaned into the watercolour section and started to look at all the different options available.

“If this is the first time he’ll do watercolour, may I recommend you buy a set?” he asked politely as he showed you a small wooden case, when he opened it there were all sorts of small blocks with different colours on them. “These are my favourite brand, but really gentle with beginners, they also come with this interesting thing,” he added as he handed you a small brush with a clear section at the top. “It comes with water, you don’t have to dip your brush that often, really useful once you get the hang of it.”

“You have more of those?” you asked and he nodded, showing you the different sizes of brush ends. After a while, and with a lot of his help, you ended up selecting about 5 different brushes and the colours that you’d fill the small wooden box with as well, which you thought was fantastic since you could fill it up with whatever colours you chose and not a set palette.

“You’ll also take the marker set, the watercolour book and the sketchbooks, correct? Anything else?”

“Uhh… Am I missing anything that he might need?

“Does he draw portraits or landscapes?”

You thought back of the Remus drawing he’d shown you, and then of the one you had chosen not to see. “He draws portraits and anatomy studies. Though I’m sure I’ve seen him doodle other stuff too.”

“He might like this book then,” he told you as he handed over another book. It was about proportions and hand drawing and a lot of very advanced-looking stuff, you smiled.

“This one as well, please…” he was about to finish the bill when you stopped him, looking down through the glass display and pointing towards something, “Is that a penknife?”

“Well, yes,” he replied, “Although sharpeners are used more often nowadays, some people still prefer them.”

“I’d like one of those as well,” you added with a smile.

“Excellent.” The man gave you your total and then handed every single thing in a thick paper bag. “You said it was for a gift, right?”

“Yes,” you nodded and he walked to the back of the shop, pulling a very elegant and sturdy black box, he eyed the bag as if calculating if everything would fit and then handed it over to you along with a black and gold ribbon with the name of the store repeated over and over.

As he handed it over he pulled it back for a second and gave you a smile. “That young gentleman is very lucky to have you as a girlfriend.”

“I think I’m just as lucky as he is,” you responded with a small smirk as you took the box.

“Would you like me to call you a cab?”

You thought about it for a second. Your house wasn’t that far, and with a short levitating spell you wouldn’t have to carry much stuff either, but the Knight Bus did mention they’d be very busy and you had been walking all day. “Yes, thank you.”

The man called for one and you waited inside the store until the cabbie arrived. You gave him your address and he took you straight there. You took the lift of your building, using your wand to unlock the secret –magical- floor your parents had purchased in London and waited.

When the two, golden doors of the lift opened to your drawing room, you sighed. Leaning down to take off your shoes. “Mom? Dad?”

No answer. “What time is it?” you whispered to yourself as you looked at the clock, quarter past ten? That art store surely has late closing times, you thought as you leaned back down to pull your bags up and drag them to your room.

There was a note on the table along with what looked like a delightfully looking salad and steak.

We’ll be home late, serve yourself. See you tomorrow darling.

You sighed and after placing the bags on the table, and using a warming spell on the food, you ate. Once you were done, the plate disappeared from the table and instead, a chocolate cake showed up. You smiled, at least they knew you liked sweets. You took a few bites from that and took it, along with your gifts, to your room.

That’s when you remembered you had promised to tell your friends when you arrived here so you quickly scribbled a few notes. Sending your owl –Resse– back to the Potter’s and Barnaby –the family’s owl– to Beth. Then you took some Floo powder and leaned over the fire.

“Tom?” You asked as you peeked through his chimney.

“Sly sprite?” He asked as he leaned over. “I was starting to worry,” he said as he left a book on the side. “You got home, all right?”

“Yeah!” you said with a smile. “And I got a bunch of good stuff at the store too, it was worth it.”

“It better have been! Beth is home too, we stopped by hers first.”

You chatted with Tom for a little while more and ended the call when you started to yawn and he followed right after. With that, you went for a quick and warm shower and then back to bed.

Thursday, December 24th

There was a soft knock on the door, you stirred on your bed but didn’t wake and then there was another one. “Sweetheart? Breakfast’s ready, come eat.”

“On my way,” you said as you sat on your bed and rubbed your eyes a couple of times. The day was bright, you’d forgotten to shut your windows at night and now you had the perfect view of the Thames through your window. You thought back to Hogwarts and how all the splendour of it had been made by magic, while the splendour of London had mostly been made by muggles.

The high skyscrapers, the Ferris Wheel across the river, the towers, palaces and bridges, all muggle-made, and without magic, it was fascinating. You didn’t understand why wizards had so many prejudices against them –aside from the whole burning on steak part, muggles seemed to be quite incredible and determined people. Perhaps you should have taken that muggle studies optative.

“Sweetheart?” you heard your father’s voice, a bit more stern than your mother’s.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” you said as you shook your covers off and grabbed your wand from the nightstand. “As if they hadn’t been home hours after I got here,” you mumbled as you fished for a pair of slippers under your bed.

By the time you got out of your room both your mom and dad were sitting on the living room table. Your mom was wearing a beautiful cocktail dress while your dad had a perfectly fitting black suit on with a small cape, draped elegantly behind his chair. You were still wearing a band shirt you had stolen from Sirius a while ago, and that you had been wearing under Remus’ jumper before the trip. “Lovely to see you,” you said with an awkward smile, “it’s been a while.”

Your father looked up from his newspaper with a cup of coffee in his hand only for a second, nodded and then went back to read. Your mom gave you a sympathetic look and nodded for you to sit down. After a couple of minutes, your dad bent the newspaper and placed it on the side of the table.

“We’ve heard plenty of your Hogwarts Adventures,” your father said looking at you. “You’ve been doing a masterful job at maintaining our house’s name relevant.”

You frowned at that, that had never been your intention.

“You were incredible in the broom race though you lost,” your father said. “And you’ve won two quidditch matches–”

“That was a team effort…” you said, your voice growing smaller as his hand dismissed you.

“You’ve kept your grades high and you’ve even entered the duelling club…”

“Not to mention her Theoretical Magic grades,” your mom added with a smile.

“And you’re dating one of the Black kids.”

You swallowed. You had mentioned in your letters that you and Sirius had gotten along now that you were in the same house, but you hadn’t specifically mentioned you were dating him.

“The disowned Black kid,” your father continued.

You straightened a little, you had discussed with your dad the things that happened back in your vacations with the Blacks. It hadn’t been particularly nice talk, but you weren’t going to back down, his political means could not be worth more than his morals. And things had been rather tense between the two since then.

When two people had such intense ideological differences and desires, they were bound to clash against each other, especially when those ideologies juxtaposed against the other often, being only furthered by the fact that you were –at least on breaks– living under the same roof.

Your priorities had been wildly different and you weren’t shy about letting him know, which caused your relationship to deteriorate quickly. Not to say you –or him– had been particularly rude to each other, but you were much colder. It was almost Christmas, and you didn’t want to start a fight with him, let alone over something that you were most definitely not going to yield on.

“I think it’s all right. He might have been disowned by his family but he still stays in contact with some of the other Blacks like Alphard and the other disowned child… whatever her name is…” Andromeda, you thought as you tried to process the fact that he had just said it was fine. “Just try to avoid mentioning him in tomorrow’s dinner. I’m sure Walburga wouldn’t be particularly pleased.”

“Tomorrow’s dinn– Walburga will be coming?”

“Of course not, they have invited us to their Christmas dinner,” he said. “It’ll be hosted in Rosier Manor, I believe.”

“Whose manor?” You asked, your breath going short along with your question.

“Mr. Rosier,” your mom repeated. “All important wizards will be there.”

“I’d rather skip Christmas altogether.”

“I’m sorry, darling. This isn’t a matter of preferences. You will go and then we’ll let you do whatever you please for the rest of the break. Visit muggle London as much as you want or dally with your friends, I really don’t care as long as you maintain your composure during tomorrow’s dinner.”

Your leg was bouncing slightly under the table. “I don’t believe I will be welcomed in that house.”

“You will be welcomed because you are my daughter and I’m me,” he said with an air of finality. “We need to present a strong family front, play your part and you’ll be rewarded.”

“Right, my part,” you said bitterly. You wondered if your mother was playing her part too, they were in love, that wasn’t questionable, but sometimes it felt like she became nothing more than an addition to his recollection of what a perfect life should look like. Did he marry her because of the love he felt for her or because she’d look like a delightful trophy wife by his side on political dinners? Had she not been as beautiful as she was, had she not been well educated, would he have married her either way?

You wondered, when had Silas become the man he is now? When did his greed for power become so intense he would sacrifice his morals to achieve it? When you were smaller, you thought they loved each other, even now, you saw when they looked at each other with those adoring eyes, but… there was a tale of sacrifice weaved in between their story, and with one party constantly bending to the other’s wishes, you weren’t sure you could still call it love.

When devotion became toxic, was it still something that came from love, or had it become something else altogether?

“Indeed darling, we ask for nothing more than one night. Then you will not be bothered, free to go wherever you want and with whomever you please. Does that sound like a fair deal?”

You sighed and nodded, “One dinner.”

Your mother smiled at that, letting out a nervous breath and then reached for your hand. “Your clothes for tomorrow are already in your closet, I also got you some nice potions and make-up.”

“Thanks, Mum,” you said with a short smile and looked at your food. It looked delicious, it was French toast with berries and fruit on top –probably there to appeal to your sweet tooth and convince you to go– but you didn’t feel hungry at all. Especially not at the thought of having to go to Rosier Manor. As if you didn’t see enough of Evan at school, now you had to go see him on the break as well, bIoody brilliant. “Breakfast was great,” you said as you stood up. Both of them decided to ignore your almost intact plate, “I’ll be in my room in case you need anything else, you know like me playing the role of the perfect child of the politician if your friends come around or whatever.”

Your mom gave you a reproachful look while your dad gave you an impassive one, you raised your eyebrows at the two of them, almost tauntingly before you turned around, walking back to your room and letting the door close behind you gently –it was not the inanimate objects fault that your parents were acting like pricks.

You sat on your bed and took a deep breath before you saw a small owl by one of your windows, you let him in and took the rolled parchment from his feet before feeding him some water.

Dear Vix, Hope this letter finds you all right, Sirius was moaning about you going along Beth and Tom and not inviting him to buy Christmas stuff it was draining! Now I was not going to write to you about it because he said he would punch me in the face but I had to write anyway since mum and dad wanted you to have our address so you could come here through floo anytime. Hope you’re having a great time, Sirius and I went flying with Pete today (he lives a few houses from us, did we tell you?), and while it was nice not having to worry about Sirius distracting himself from snogging you, we missed you still. Mum and Dad send greetings to your parents, hope you’re also having a blast. Your bestest friend, James P. PS. Mum sent this tea for you, she said she thinks you’d like it with how much sweet stuff you eat and stuff. PS 2. Love you, but I bet you’re missing me more <– That was Sirius.

James’ stupid letter made you chuckle, especially the last bit, as if it had been necessary to point out that Sirius had been the one to write it. You placed the letter into a small box in your bag and smiled as you walked to pick up some of the stuff you’d be giving your friends as their gifts.

You picked up some wrapping paper and started wrapping all of their gifts, the owls would have to do a couple of trips to take them all to their place, but you’d make sure to leave them plenty of food throughout the night, so they could continue their trips and the presents would be at your friend’s beds in the morning.

You had gone through most of the smaller gifts first, writing small, and neatly written Christmas cards on them. Then you went for the bigger ones, the books you’d gotten for Lily, some of the stuff for Mary and Marlene, James’ pack, and of course, Remus and Sirius’.

It wasn’t until then, that you realised how overboard you had gone with your gifts. You’d gotten Remus so many books, both magical and muggle, that you almost felt guilty you hadn’t gotten Lily and James more stuff. And then you tried telling yourself it was because Remus would spend Christmas alone and he deserved at least a bit of happiness, you weren’t deliberately playing favourites.

And then Sirius’ pile was clearly a mess, you had all the music you’d gotten, the shirts, the penknife that you wanted to engrave with his name (you were researching for the right spell to do it) and a bunch of other stuff for him. Besides, you still wanted to make the playlists, so before you finished packing the bigger boxes, you started testing the recorder. Now there wasn’t exactly a step by step guide on how to record music, but there was a small booklet that showed you how the thing worked and you spend the rest of the day figuring it out, listening to music and making a playlist for each of your friends. Using all the songs you thought they might like.

When you were done with that, you continued packing all the stuff. Deciding to send all the music back to the boys’ room at Hogwarts so they could leave it on Sirius’ stash. Well, all of them except for the David Bowie tape you had specifically gotten for Sirius and that would look great with his shirt and the rest of the gifts you’d gotten him.

You went out to get some food at some point during the day, and there was another note from your parents telling you they were off at an event. Well, good riddance, you thought as you went back to your room with a sandwich in your hands. You picked one of the books you’d gotten for yourself and you spent almost the rest of the day reading it while jamming to one of the playlists you’d made. A copy of the one you’d made for Remus since you thought it went well with the book you’d chosen to read.

You fell asleep before your parents got home, with the book still in your hands and the music playing softly in the background until the cassette ran out of tape and was softly ejected by the machine. The sound it made had been so soft it didn’t wake you at all.

Thankfully, you had remembered to leave enough water and food for the owls, since they had spent all night doing trips back and forth to your house and your friends’.

Friday, December 25th

You woke up by being pecked in the face by a very big and very angry owl.

“Oi!” you complained. “What’s wrong with you?” The owl chirped and picked you again, this time on the ear. “Bitch,” you mumbled as you pushed him back lightly, only for him to pick you in the finger again.

You gave him an upset look and he pulled back just a little, tilting his head towards the window, and the lack of food and refreshments.

“Oh, so that’s why you’ve been attacking me non-stop?” you asked as you stood up from the bed, failing to see the pile of wrapped gifts at the end of it. The owl chirped in response, a scowl that you weren’t sure was his natural face shape or an actual scowl directed towards you. “I’m sorry,” you added, “Barnaby and Reese must have eaten them all. They did many trips last night, you know?”

The owl chirped again, a little angry as he flew towards the window, as if saying «I too flew many trips last night» looking as indignant as a Towny Owl could. You added a few of the special snacks you kept for Reese just to keep him from biting you again. You looked at the name tag and realised who the owner of the owl had been.

Eun-ji, Minho had told you about her, she was his family’s owl and apparently, the name meant something like “kind”. So much for a kind owl, you thought as you looked at her, gobbling up Reese’s treats. You leaned over when you noticed there was a small letter attached to his feet and took it in your hands before the owl flapped his wings and left.

Merry Christmas Star Seeker, Hope you’re having a great time. Thought of giving you a special thanks for that one time you –quite literally– pushed me towards my crush and got us to start a conversation, that, well, you know how great it ended! Even for a Gryffindor, you’re really nice, so I thought of getting you something for you to get some more hate from your fellow Gryffindor, Eun-ji must have left the gift near your bed.

You turned to the side in the middle of reading and stood agape, there was not only a green and silver wrapped gift in what looked suspiciously like the shape of a snake, but there were also a bunch of other gifts wrapped in all sorts of colours.

Anyway thanks for everything, hope you have fun and all. I’m looking forward to beating you all next time we play, Love, The one and only, and your favourite Slytherin, Minho Cha.

You rolled your eyes at the last bit, it had been very Slytherin of him, but since you knew Minho, you also knew he was playing it off as a joke on his own house, which made a joke inside a joke and you thought it was actually kind of funny.

You took a deep breath and walked over to your bed. There were all sorts of gifts prompted there and you decided to unwrap Minho’s first. There was a small, green snake plushie with a bow on it that had a small pendant with something written on it: “From the snakes that love you dearly,” and then it had the names of all of your Slytherin friends: Minho, Comet, Nox, Reggie, and even some you weren’t expecting like Dorcas and Solacis. You thought it was an adorable little thing, even if –and you were certain of this– your friends would absolutely hate it. Well, not Lily, she’d also think it was adorable.

And thinking of her, was that you picked the next gift, wrapped in pink and yellow paper, and with her a small dedicatory on the corner, you instantly knew it was from her, her neat and perfect handwriting being the dеad giveaway. You smile as you read her small dedication. She wished you a very, merry Christmas and promised to tell you everything about the train with James as soon as you saw each other in person. She wrote something along the lines of not being able to put it on paper, which made you laugh.

When you opened the present you were thrilled, it was a small leather notebook, dark red with golden trims and your name on the cover. Not Vixen, not Starshine, or any of the other nicknames that you had come to own and love since you arrived at Hogwarts, but your name. You smiled as you traced your fingers over the letters. There was a pen on the side, golden and apparently of some interesting muggle technology that wasn’t that popular in the wizarding world. You thought it was fascinating. When you opened the notebook you realised there was something written, again in her handwriting.

You’ve had more adventures this year than I’ve had in my lifetime. I think it’s time for you to start writing down some of them, in case you ever want to revisit them. If journaling is not your thing (which I feel like it would be because I know you), you can just use this notebook however you want. You know grocery lists, songs for mixtapes, your favourite lyrics, poems, quotes, Sirius’ doodles, your doodles, dried flowers, stickers, whatever you want, it’s your space, and you may use it as you wish! Love, Lily

You thought the idea of having your own journal was brilliant, you always admired her for keeping hers so incredibly neat looking, and perhaps being able to let some of your feelings go on a blank page would be better than keeping them bottled up. You doubted you would be nearly as consistent as her, but you decided to add your first couple of words in there, detailing the gifts you’d gotten and the few you still had yet to open.

You’d gotten a box of your favourite candies from Mary and some incredible quidditch trading cards from Marlene, but she had also added some makeup to her gift because if not you and James would have gotten the exact same thing and you were her favourite between the two. You got a spellbook and a muggle prank book from Tom “to further your career” according to him. There was a large, embossed book from Nina, which you discovered was an annotated version of one of your favourite books and a small set of runes from Sybil. You had gotten her a deck of cards and a book about premonitions.

There were candies from Nox and a muggle book lantern from Neil Perry, you had both complained at some point about reading with your wand and you thought the solution he’d found was adorable. Peter had gotten you a book about canines, packed along with a small fox-themed bookmarker and a note that said “Thank you for not busting my make-out session and Merry Christmas.” He also added, “PS. maybe with this one you’ll be able to tame Pads.” Which had you wheezing with laughter for a while.

It took at least a minute to go for the next gift, it was a small box that said to be handled carefully. You opened it according to the instructions. “Shut the fuck up!” you said the moment you realized what was inside. A small Felix Felicis vial. “Shut up, shut up, shut up,” you repeated over and over again. “How did he even get his hands on it?”

You picked up the paper from behind it, there was a small note.

Okay say it: aside from Sirius, I AM your favourite Marauder. You might be wondering, “How the hell did James get his hands on this?”. Well dear, I must say, I have contacts. AKA my parents are expert potioneers and I somehow convinced Mum to brew one and that’s how I got my hands on it. Now, I could have given it to any of my friends but I get the feeling you might be needing some of this soon enough. You know, from things I’ve seen and such (please don’t waste it on a quidditch match, though). Anyway, I know you’ll use it well, hope you have a very Merry Christmas! Your favourite marauder AND bestest friend, Prongs.

You chuckled when you finished reading and went back to look at the vial with incredulity. Brewing one of these potions was arduous work, and it took weeks, which meant James must have had convinced Effie to do it even before she’d met you. Never underestimate James Potter, you thought as you grabbed onto the vial and placed it around your neck with a chain, casting a disillusionment charm on it so it wouldn’t be so obvious you had it with you. You thought the gift was brilliant.

After that, there were only 2 gifts left. You picked the one with a silver bow first. It was a square box, about 12” wide, and had been wrapped in the same paper as James’, which made you guess who it might be from. There were chocolates and a small letter on top, neatly closed and with your name written on the back with Sirius’ almost perfect calligraphy. There was also a paper covering something, but you picked the letter up first.

You know, I tried writing a love letter, but James wouldn’t stop making ridiculous comments about it not being profound enough and I feared I’d end up writing something close to the painfully ridiculous letters he used to write to Lily so I had to stop myself. Who would have thought it would be that hard to put thoughts into words? I suppose if I were like Remus it would come out much easier but, unfortunately, you’re stuck with me. Actually no, fortunately you’re stuck with me, I’m delightful.

You laughed, he’s not wrong.

Anyway, I suppose what I wanted to express in those dreadful attempts of being a poet was that I’m incredibly thankful that you came to Hogwarts and that you came back to me. I’m grateful that you tolerate me and my moods and that you love me for who I am, flaws and all. I wasn’t sure I’d ever found that kind of love, one that I even doubted it existed, and yet you’re always there to tease and make me laugh and– I already sound like James, but you know what I mean. You always know what I mean. As you see, I am far from a poet, but there is something I like to do and I thought that perhaps, you’d enjoy it more than this terrible love letter. You know, you and Remus were the first to ever see a sketch from my book, and I was feeling all sorts of things after I offered, and yet, you were there, reassuring me and telling me I didn’t have to do it if I didn’t want to. You know Walburga, it wasn’t much of a choice for me, so it truly meant the world, and fed me the courage I needed to let you see that part of me. And when you two finally saw it and praised me for my skills, for what I did with my own hands… You make me so incredibly gleeful, it’s almost scary how much power you could hold over me. But frankly, I’ll let you hold it all you want. All right, enough of the sappy stuff, Merry Christmas Starshine, you know you shine brighter than my own star. Hope you like your gift. Love, Sirius

See the letter here

You read the letter a few more times, smiling at the little details and jokes Sirius had sprinkled all over. And then you pulled on the bit of tissue paper covering the very last thing in the box and when you finally saw its content you couldn’t help but swear again, “Son of a bitch!” you whispered.

There were still some small pieces of paper over the small portrait, and you carefully brushed them out to be able to lift it from the box. The image was a hand-drawn portrait of you. You had a big smile and were looking at what would be the camera if it were an image. It looked like it might have been from one of the pictures from Marlene’s party although Sirius had changed the outfit, you were wearing an oversized sweater and his leather jacket. You could tell it was his because it had one of the enamel pins you had gotten him as a gift on the lapel.

There were touches of colours in the strokes, not quite painting the drawing but rather giving it relatively bright edges that made it look special, unlike any other doodle. And of course, he had framed it, it was a simple yet elegant frame, dark oak and with small carved details on the sides. On the left bottom corner of the drawing, there was something written in French:

À l'étoile la plus brillante. Amour,

And then, instead of his name, he signed with a small and elegant star doodle. You smiled again, it was one of the loveliest things you’d ever gotten, even if it was a portrait of yourself, the fact that Sirius had been the one to draw it, made it the most special of things. There were portraits upon portraits of you in your house, with magic that allowed you to move and smile, and even talk sometimes, but none of them held as much value as the frozen drawing Sirius had given you.

Eventually, you placed it on your night table and picked up the last gift still sitting in your bed. His box was smaller than Sirius’, about the size of a book, which had you assumed he had gotten you something along the lines of that.

You opened the book and found a small, pocket-sized book. It was a Sreath Bàrdachd, according to the golden script at the top. You hadn’t quite realised as you pulled it from the box, but it was handmade. You looked at it in shock as you flipped to the 50+ pages, all in carefully and methodically written cursive, his handwriting.

Later you realised it was something between a book of poems and a compilation of quotes from different books. You admired the booklet for a few more minutes when you spotted that there was a small letter, still waiting for you inside the box. You pulled it off and broke the seal with a small sword letter opener Nox had given you as a gift.

As you did, a small chain fell from the letter and you picked it up. It was small and dainty, just long enough to wrap around your wrist, which made you wonder how he’d guessed the size. The chain was simple, and it broke off into two different sections, one with a small crescent moon and then another one with a small star. It also had one small gemstone in between the bigger charms. You looked at it with a smile and held it in your hand as you read the letter.

Hey there, Little Witch, Hope you’re having an incredible Christmas. By the time you read this, you’ve probably seen the Sreath Bàrdachd, and knowing how clever you are, you probably already know what that could mean. Yes, It’s a book of poems, but also a bit more than that. I knew Sirius was making you that incredible gift of his, and I didn’t want to fall behind. Prongs didn’t tell us what he got you but he seemed pretty confident he’d have the best gift of all. Did he? Never mind, don’t tell me, it’s a silly competition. Either way, I thought you might like having one of these. Mum used to have one, which is why I know they exist. She told me a good friend gave it to her and she has kept it ever since then. I remembered borrowing it from her once when I was little, and she taught me how to carefully flip through the pages as she read to me. She also mentioned it was a silly girl’s thing but I thought it was amazing, and went on to make my own. Although wonky and, with quotes from children’s books, she thought I was quite a mastermind for making it by myself. Of course, I put a lot more effort into the one you have with you now. Or perhaps the same effort but with better skills. If you’ve flipped through the pages, which I assume you have, since you’re incredibly curious, you’ve probably seen some familiar quotes. There’s stuff from books we’ve both read and stuff that only I have read but that I thought you might like. Some of my favourite poems too, and some quotes from movies that only you’d be able to get. There are even lyrics from songs, some that we really like, some that Sirius has heard so many times that I already knew them by memory, and since the two of you like similar music, I assumed you’d know them too. Also, there’s a small bracelet in the letter. I’ve cross-charmed it, in case you ever lose the Sreath Bàrdachd (I truly hope you never do), the gemstone will shine as you approach it. I’ve also added a few luck charms that, while they won’t keep you away from trouble –I don’t think anything could– they may give you some luck while navigating it. Don’t hit me for saying that, you know it’s true. Love, Moony. PS. Prongs told me about your little quarrel with Sirius on the platform, Sirius definitely misses you more.

See the letter here

By the time you finished Remus’ letter, you were smiling as brightly as you had when you read Sirius’. You were so lucky you had found such incredible people in Hogwarts. Your bedsheets filled with torn wrapping paper were a testament to that. You spend the rest of the afternoon listening to some more music and reading through the book Remus had made.

He had been especially careful with his handwriting which you thought was adorable, and there were a lot of quotes from Oscar Wilde’s Picture of Dorian Grey. He had written in pencil –so you could erase it if you wanted, not that you would– that it was your fault he was obsessed with his writing now. Taking poems and quotations from both, the book aforementioned and The Ghost of Canterville. You hadn’t read the latter yet, but you were almost counting the days to go back to school and ask him to lend you his copy.

Unfortunately, all good things come to an end, and you had to leave the warm comfort of reading and listening to music in favour of changing into the clothes your mom had chosen for you. You sighed as the alarm clock you’d set earlier went off, and then went straight towards your closet. The dress she had picked was simple, yet elegant. It wasn’t a long dress like the one she’d probably wear, but a more youthful one with clever intricate details on the sleeves and a midi skirt.

“Thank god it has sleeves,” you whispered to yourself as you pulled the edge of the sleeve of Sirius’ shirt up. While your skin looked almost smooth, the lighter (almost silvery) shapes where the new skin was growing over the gush Moony had made were pretty evident. You supposed makeup and a spell could make them less visible, at least for a while, but that would have probably taken you a lot more time to achieve.

You plopped the black dress on, smoothing the sides as walking towards your vanity where your mum had left all the potions and make-up. You sighed, remembering how much more fun it had been to dress for the Gryffindor parties than it was to dress for this one. With the black dress and the pearls on your neck, you felt a lot more like you were about to walk into a funeral rather than a party. My own funeral, you thought with a laugh when you remembered whose house you’d actually be going to.

You grabbed a pair of red, not-too-high heels, put them on, and took another look in the large mirror by the window. You looked lovely, at least there would be no complaints from your parents on that aspect. What they might complain about was the fact that you took a bag with an undetectable extension charm and filled it with a few of the books you’d gotten as a Christmas gift. You also took the journal Lily had given you and Remus’ Sreath Bàrdachd. And you weren’t sure who’d be attending that party but you sure hoped you’d be able to sneak into a corner and read a book rather than having to interact with some of the most disagreeable friends of your parents.

“Sweetheart, are you ready?” your mom asked from the kitchen.

“Yeah, coming,” you said as you grabbed a few more trinkets and dumped them in your bag, just in case.

You were about to leave the room when you saw a small glistening thing in your bed and you went straight to grab it. It was the bracelet Remus had given you, and even if it took you a while to put it on, and you continued looking between your wrist and the door as you tried to get the clasp to do its job, you thought it was worth it. I could really use that extra luck. You thought. You accommodated the necklace Sirius had given you and that you never took off and then took off James’ potion and placed it on your bag since it might be safer there than around your neck.

One last look in the mirror to make sure everything was in order and you walked out towards the living room.

“You look delightful, darling,” your father said as he spotted you walking out of the room.

You gave him a half shrug in response and then managed to mutter a “thanks” that you hoped didn’t sound as bitter as it felt. After another moment of silence, your mom grabbed her bag and finished clipping on one of her earrings.

“We’ll take the floo?” you asked.

Your father shook his head, “They’ve sent over a Portkey,” your mom explained and motioned to the table, there was a small, fancy-looking invitation right in the middle.

“Nice,” you said as you used your wand to levitate the object and move it right in between your parents. Perhaps if it had been floo, you could have sneakily said James’ address instead of Evan’s and escaped the party altogether. Once there, your parents wouldn’t make a fuss about it in order to not make your insubordination evident. But of course, you weren’t that lucky, and you’d have to take the portkey and you’d have to go to the party.

“In three,” your father said as he moved his hand towards the invitation, “two… one… go.”

The three of you placed your hands on the invitation at the same time and you felt the very familiar pull on your lower back, in less than a second, the entire world distorted around you, and then, you weren’t in your house anymore.

Series Masterlist | Next Chapter

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A/N: Aww that was so cute wasn't it? Now it's time to strap on, we're about to dive head-first into the darkest side of the story, and it's going to be fun and sad and just a rollercoaster of emotions in general. Love, Lils xx

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thatonejingyuanenthusiast · 5 months ago

Note

i’ve been a silent lurker for a while cause well…i’m lazy and i don’t come onto tumblr as often as i used to but i saw you’re holding a q&a so i thought i’d throw my hat in the ring since i love jing yuan an abnormal amount (as any sane person should)

how do you render hair? (i’ve been trying for ages and it just never clicks)

also also, any fun jing yuan headcanons you have?

also also also i love your art :3

good day 🦁

Hii fellow Jing Yuan enthusiast <3 tysm for the ask!! mwahs

As for rendering hair it's kinda the same as I render clothes (I wish I had my drawing tablet on me at the dorms to draw you a proper demonstration, I'm sorry ;;)

I focus mainly on how the lighting falls on the subject, and just fuck around until I like it! But mainly it's just a base layer with a lineart over, and then adding shadows/highlights and more colors with the lasso fill in tool (idk what it's actual name is at the moment) and then refine it with a softer brush

Hope my messy explanation helped a little!! Maybe I'll make a small tutorial in the future if you guys are interested <3

Now onto the juicy stuff..

Did anyone say Jing Yuan HC? :)

|☆| He loves to spoil the people he loves

like buying Yangqing the newest sword on the market, getting small but valuable trinkets for the Astral Express, not to mention always offering them a place to stay every time they are on the Luofu)

|☆| The nr. 1 most cuddly being in the universe

cuddles everywhere. At work? yessir. At home? that's a must. In an important meeting? Subtle, but they are there.

|☆| Would sacrifice a lot everything for Mimi

|☆| I'd like to think he has a sweet tooth.

|☆| Collects trinkets from where he obtained victories for the Alliance. He has an entire shelf full of them. (from very rare shards of glass to objects from outer galaxies)

|☆| Major eeper. Will 100% almost always be late.

#that one jing yuan enthusiast q&a #that one jing yuan enthusiast #that one gay jing yuan enthusiast #honkai star rail #star rail #jing yuan #jing yuan is husband material #honkai jing yuan #jing yuan x reader

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atinylittlepain · 2 years ago

Text

Firehouse Harrington - New Beginnings - Chapter 1

Fireman!Steve x f!reader/f!oc

steve harrington masterlist

warnings | 18+ angst, descriptions of PTSD-like symptoms, smut

a/n | thank you all so much for your patience as i plotted this next period for steve and his girl. i've had a few folks ask if i'd do a taglist for this series, so if enough people express interest i will absolutely start one! thank you as always for reading <3

.......................

“Hey, golden girl! Wait up!” Shit. She has nearly made it out of the lab building when Thomas catches her, his voice resounding down the hall. She had been doing a decent job of avoiding him ever since their failed date, a month’s worth of dipping into empty classrooms and staying late to keep from seeing him. But today, she has finally slipped up, turning around and nervously fidgeting with the strap of her bag as he walks toward her.

“You’re a hard girl to find. I’ve been looking for you, but you seemed to disappear on me.” She hums, trying to seem casual.

“Oh? I’ve just been really busy. Wrapping up senior year and all.” His dimple pops as he tilts his head at her.

“Busy, huh? Where are you headed right now? Can I walk with you?” Her stomach drops at his question.

“Um, I was actually just leaving for the day. I’m meeting some–”

“Let me walk you out. I’ve been wanting to talk to you again.” She huffs, realizing it’s going to be easier to give in than to keep making excuses for him to somehow ignore. She nods with a sigh, and he falls into step alongside her as they make their way toward the main exit.

“I heard you’ve already started working with Professor Graham. That’s awesome. How’s your thesis work going?”

“Good, yeah. It’s all still preliminary stuff, but I’ve been–” For the second time, he cuts her off, and she has to fight against rolling her eyes.

“You’ll have to tell me more some time soon. This might be presumptuous, but are you doing anything tonight? It is Valentine’s Day after all.” Oh no, not presumptuous at all. She shoulders out of the front door, Thomas close on her heels before she finally turns around to look at him in the fading afternoon light.

“I have plans actually.” That doesn’t seem to deter him judging from the grin he’s still shooting her way.

“What? Movie night with your girlfriends?” She goes to answer him, but is promptly cut off by the low rumbling of an engine coming closer, both of their heads turning to see a motorcyclist pulling up to the curb. As the person on the motorcycle removes their helmet, it’s her turn to grin as Thomas’ face falls, his eyes darting between her and the bike.

“Bye, Thomas. Happy Valentine’s Day.” With that, she all but skips away from him and towards the low-thrumming bike.

“Hey, pretty. He giving you trouble?” She presses a few quick kisses to his lips, effectively drawing his attention away from Thomas as she brushes her thumb along his cheek.

“Hi, Stevie. No trouble, just annoying.” Steve huffs, eyes darting over her shoulder one more time to look at Thomas, but she’s quick to tug his chin back toward her.

“Steve, it’s fine. He’s just a total asshat.” He snorts at that, shaking his head as he looks at her through his lashes.

“Always with that mouth, huh? Alright, baby, let’s go before doctor asshat burns a hole through me with his eyes.” She laughs, glancing over her shoulder. Sure enough, Thomas is still watching them with a very furrowed look on his face, and it just makes her laugh harder as she turns back around to her man. She brushes his flopped-over waves out of his eyes as he grins at her.

“Helmet?” He nods, reaching back to pull out another helmet from the saddlebag and hand it to her. It was the only way she agreed to ever get on the thing with him, a project he had taken up after reading some book about zen and motorcycles that his therapist had recommended. So long as he always wore his helmet – the helmet that she specifically picked out for him because it was certified by the Brain Injury Association of America – she was just happy to see him so excited about something.

She clicks her own helmet on before stumbling to throw her leg over the humming bike, hands quick to find purchase around Steve’s waist. She’d never admit it to him, but it’s always a bit thrilling, getting on the back of Steve Harrington’s motorcycle.

��

“Oh my god.”

“Do you like it?”

“This is like– the best thing I’ve ever eaten.” Steve has to hide his proud smile at her words behind a bite of pasta. He had wanted to do something really nice for his girl for Valentine’s, and had even begrudgingly called his mom to get the recipe for her famous spaghetti. Gina Harrington had been surprised to hear from her son, but had also chewed him out pretty quickly.

“Is this for a girl, Steven?” He was glad she couldn’t pick up on the way he was blushing over a landline.

“Well, she must be special if she’s got you cooking for her. When am I gonna meet this girl, huh? You should visit soon. I miss my baby boy.”

He had barely made it out of the phone call alive, his mother somehow twisting a visit out of him for her birthday in March, with the hesitant promise that he’d bring his girl along to meet “la familia.” On his mother’s side, Steve came from pure Italian roots, and an extended family big enough to start its own circus. But, watching his girl smile around another bite of pasta was making the prospective trip home seem worth it.

As she finishes chewing, she quirks her eyebrow, pointing her fork at him.

“You’ve been holding out on me, Harrington.” He laughs, shaking his head, because truthfully, Steve’s never done anything like this for anyone. The closest he had come to something like this was heating up Campbell's chicken and stars for Robin when she had the stomach flu last year. And Thanksgiving, but he had really only helped with that. This one was all him, with a little assist from mama Harrington.

“It’s nothing, really. I’m just glad you like it, baby.” With that, she leans across the table and presses a smacking kiss to his lips, leaving him with what feels like a really dopey grin as she sits back in her chair.

“I love it. Thank you, Stevie.” During his “King Steve” days, Valentine’s had been an easy ticket to getting laid, nothing more. A well-timed box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers and his night was made. He didn’t care for the holiday then, and he doesn’t really care for it now. But he cares for her, and because of that, for the first time ever, Steve tried really hard this Valentine’s Day.

They both sit back with content sighs, warmed by the good food and the smiles they pass back and forth.

“Did I tell you I saw Eddie on campus the other day?” He groans at that. Eddie Munson is the last thing he wants on his mind right now. She giggles.

“I saw him walking across the quad. He didn’t seem to recognize me at first when I called out his name, but it clicked pretty fast I think. He asked me if I’ve been keeping you in line.” Steve lets out a huff, raising his eyebrows at her.

“And? What’d you tell him?”

“Told him you’ve been keeping yourself in line these days, that you’ve been working really hard. And I may have invited him over for dinner this weekend.” Steve groans, opening his mouth to protest, but she’s having none of it.

“Steve, he’s your friend. And he just moved to a new city and started college for the first time. He could use all the help he can get, alright? Poor guy was looking a little lost.” She’s got that smug look on her face like she knows he isn’t going to say no to her.

The dynamic in their relationship has certainly shifted, and while she has insisted this is a fresh start for them, Steve fears he may never make it up to her, for what he did and how he treated her. He’s trying “painfully hard,” words his therapist had used. Diligently doing his homework assignments, keeping all of his appointments with Dr. Staub, finding odds and ends projects to keep his mind busy, Steve has been walking the walk without a doubt. But he’s finding that the further along in therapy he gets, the harder it becomes, long dormant memories getting upturned that sting just as fresh as they did when they were made.

Staub assures him it’s all a part of the process. That it will get worse before it gets better. But there are some things he can’t even talk about with Staub. What’s the therapy protocol for processing an interdimensional war that almost destroyed the world as they know it? The memories come in brilliant, painful flashes that leave him tired and muted. When she finds him like that, he chalks it up to a hard shift at the station or a touchy therapy session. She’s always soft with him during those times, and it in turn has softened him even more. He’s still rough around the edges, and snaps at her more often than he’d like to, but it’s clear to even him how much he’s changed, and he is at least proud of that. He just hopes it’s enough to make her stay.

…

“Just leave those, baby. Can get ‘em in the morning.” Steve tugs on her wrist, pulling her away from the sink full of dishes to guide them over to the couch. They settle down into each other easily, her head resting on his chest and his arm slung over her. It’s a position they have both gotten comfortable in, many nights ending in some sort of similar tangle. While it’s sweet, she can’t help being a little frustrated that it never turns into more.

She knows she had said she wanted to take things slow this time, but compared to how they used to be, this is practically glacial. It’s been a little over a month now, and the sweet kisses and closeness have been lovely, but she’d like the pace to pick up, even just a little bit.

“Steve?”

“Hmm?”

“I have a present for you too.” She lifts her head from his chest to see the furrowed look on his face. She can’t help the nervous laugh she lets out as she slowly stands from the couch. Steve’s grumbles of protest die in his throat when she starts to unbutton her jeans and shimmy them down her legs.

“Baby, what are you–”

“Just let me show you, Steve, please?” She can see the bob of his throat as he sits back, his eyes darting everywhere as she steps out of her jeans and quickly lifts her shirt over her head. It had been an impulse buy. She and her girlfriends had been doing some window shopping on her day off. The set had caught her eye in the display of a store she’d normally never enter, but with Valentine’s Day coming up, she decided to try something new. Something dark purple and satiny.

She swears Steve stops breathing for a moment, his eyes wide as he takes her in. It’s a bit overwhelming, the complete silence coupled with his unblinking gaze, and she starts to worry she just made a huge fool of herself, nervously wrapping her arms around her stomach.

“I-I’m sorry– this was silly– I should just–” He’s quick to cut off her mumbling, standing up and drawing her arms away, his fingers twining with hers.

“No! No, fuck– m’sorry, I just– are you trying to kill me right now?” She splutters out a laugh at his breathless question, heat rising in her cheeks. He lets go of her hands, his fingers ghosting over the tops of her breasts, the silky fabric pushing them up just slightly. When his gaze meets hers again, his eyes are blown out, dark and hazy.

“So beautiful, honey. Is this all for me?” She smiles, pressing her hands over his until his fingers are flexing into the swell of her breasts.

“It is, Steve. Do you like it?” He swallows hard as he bobs his head.

“Yes– it’s um– it’s– I like it– I like it a lot, fuck– could you– could you turn around for me? Let me see all of you?” She turns in his arms, grinning at the low curse he lets out as his fingers graze along the string waistband of her panties, before turning back around and wrapping her arms around his neck. She leans in to let her lips graze along his ear, his hands squeezing her waist as he lets out a harsh exhale.

“Happy Valentine’s, Stevie.” When he kisses her, it’s different, a little more of an edge, a little more hunger in the way he swipes his tongue along her lips and she opens up to him without hesitation. His broad palms are roaming her back, leaving light squeezes to the curve of her ass before trailing up her spine as she walks them back toward the couch. She lightly shoves him to flop back onto the couch as she kneels down between his spread legs. But as soon as she starts work at his belt buckle, Steve stops her, holding her wrists aloft between them.

“Hey, wait– you don’t have to do that, honey.” She rests her cheek on his thigh, trying to ignore the nerves that have settled back under her skin at his seeming rejection.

“I want to, Steve. Wanna make you feel good.” He sighs at that, his head hanging low as she tries to catch his downturned gaze. Now she’s starting to get worried.

“Steve?”

“I just– I don’t deserve it– don’t deserve you– looking so pretty for me and everything.” Oh. She feels her heart sink, finally realizing what’s going on. He’s been doing so well, but she knows that Steve still beats himself up for what happened, how he had treated her. To an outsider, she thinks she probably looks like an idiot for taking him back, but she knows that how he was with her before was a reflection of calcified layers of his past. Cliche as it may be, those layers are crumbling, and she’s excited to stick around to see the Steve Harrington that survived underneath them, already catching glimmering glimpses.

She slips her hands out of his hold, both her palms resting on his thighs as she sits back on her knees.

“Will you look at me, please?” He does, just barely, eyes meeting hers through his downturned lashes.

“I don’t know what exactly is going through your head, Steve. But I’m telling you that you do deserve to feel good. This is our fresh start, right?” That coaxes a small nod from him. She smiles, squeezing his thighs.

“Can I make you feel good now, baby?” He lets out a ragged sigh, sitting back into the couch as he fully looks at her.

“Whatever you want– I’m all yours, you know that.” It’s all she needs to hear, giving him one more smile as her hands slide from his thighs up to his belt. With a low murmured “hips up, Stevie,” his already hard cock bounces free from his shrugged down boxers and pants to rest against his tummy, smearing pre-cum over the bottom of his shirt. As she noses up the vein that trails the thick underside of him, he scrunches his eyes shut, hands clenching in his hair. She missed that look.

She laps at his swollen tip, enjoying the way the muscles of his thighs tense and jump under her palms, before finally taking him into the heat of her mouth. Steve has always been a stretch, in more ways than one, and as she starts to work him over that familiar ache settles in the hinge of her jaw, her one hand coming to stroke what her mouth just can’t reach.

“Oh fuck– s’really good– so good to me– fucking perfect, honey–” She missed that too, his broken praises and breathy moans encouraging her on, licking a hot stripe up his throbbing length that has him throwing his head back into the couch.

“Wait– shit, you gotta stop.” She freezes immediately, pulling back with concern washed over her face. Steve just huffs.

“I want– I wanna feel you, please.” Suddenly, the dull ache that had settled in her core thrums brighter at his words as he’s already helping her up to straddle his thighs. He pulls her into a hard kiss, confidence clearly growing in his movements as his hands squeeze at the swell of her ass, rocking her against him.

“Can I touch you, honey? Get you ready for me, huh?” His words are a strange mixture of the old and new Steve, still a twinge of his cocky certainty laced with his new sweetness. It makes her thighs clench around him. She nods around a breathy “please,” and he finally gives her that dirty grin she remembers so well.

His hand toys with the satin front of her panties, his palm dipping down to cup her heat through the fabric as she bucks into his grip. He lets out a harsh breath through his nose when he finally dips his hand underneath the fabric, fingers swiping through her folds as she mewls into his neck.

“Fuck, baby– so wet, huh? S’all for me?” She huffs out a pitchy “uh-huh” as he swipes over her clit before dipping a finger down to pump inside of her.

“Steve, more– please, baby.” He shushes her with a kiss to her sternum, adding a second finger to his steady rhythm as she grinds down onto his hand.

“Always gotta spread you open first, huh, pretty? Get your perfect little pussy ready for me.” His words have her already teetering on the edge of release, her cunt fluttering around his deep stroking fingers as she digs her nails into his shoulders.

“Will you come for me, honey? Wanna see you so bad. Please, baby.” That’s new, and evidently all it takes to snap the snared pleasure pulled taut along her spine as she comes with a stuttered gasp of his name, her hips jerking as he works her through it.

“That’s it, honey. Fuck, you’re so beautiful like this.” She sighs when he finally takes his fingers away, her eyes widening when he sucks them into his mouth with a low groan.

“Missed that taste. Missed you– shit, I need you so bad.” She whimpers at his words. It’s a tangled mess, he tugs his shirt off over his head and she slips her panties to the side as he fists himself, lining his tip up with her clenching entrance. Ragged sighs run through both their throats as she starts to sink down onto him, the sweet burn of it making her dizzy as she seats herself fully on his thighs. She swears she can feel him twitch inside her.

“Shit– nothing feels like this– s’too good– too fucking good– can you move, honey, please?” She gives her hips a weak swirl, both of them gasping as he grazes even deeper inside her. She’s all but collapsed into him, hiding her face in his neck, her arms clinging around his neck as she tries to bounce on his cock.

“Steve, please– I need– need you to–” He shushes her, pressing a kiss to her temple as his hands firm up on the curve of her ass.

“I got you, honey– gonna give my girl what she needs, huh?” His hips tilt, thrusting up inside her as he holds her steady against him. His name is a breathless chant on her lips as he finds a pace, her hips grinding down into his with each thrust.

They’ve both needed this for a while now, and it’s clear in the sloppy tempo and how close they both seem to that cliff of pleasure already. She pulls away from him to smear her lips against his in what could only barely be called a kiss with the way they’re both panting into each other.

“So fucking close, honey– wanna feel you– c’mon, I know you can– come for me, pretty.” One of his hands comes around to splay over her hip, his fingers dipping down to circle her clit and it’s enough to have her falling into pleasure for a second time, spasming hard around him. Steve is quick to follow, holding her hard against his chest, as his warmth spreads through her, a low curse fizzling out on his lips as he buries his face in her chest.

They stay like that for a while, trying to steady their heaving breath in each other’s arms. She rakes her fingers through his mussed hair and he tilts his chin up to look at her with blown-out eyes.

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Stevie.”

As they get cleaned up, gentle touches in the shower and smiles through the warm steam, she can’t help but think about how different that had been. She knows sex isn’t all about control, but it had certainly felt like she had more of it, that Steve was the one waiting for her to call the shots. It was different, but after all, they are different.

Different is good, right?

#steve harrington fluff #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington angst #steve harrington #steve harrington au #steve harrington fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things

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ofmermaidstories · 6 months ago

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hi merms, i hope you’re doing great. i’m sorry if this is different from your usual asks but i wanted to ask you, since you are literally blog goals, but how can i be more like you and enjoy my own blog? i love how you’re so free in your own space and express yourself, and you’re just full of happiness and all the bright, good things. going to your blog always makes me smile. its like you spread joy and warmth so easily. is it weird i feel more at home with your blog 😭 i wish i could enjoy my blog too, but sometimes drama makes the experience un-fun, like mean anons, or worse, your own readers constantly putting you in weird competition with your own writer friends over things you and your friends never even noticed before. i know the easy answer is to just ignore the haters and enjoy writing, and i really love writing, but its hard sometimes. i wish i could make my blog feel as homey as yours. visiting your page is like comin home to fresh hot chocolate after a long day of work 💐 thats all luv, sending you lots of love always 🌸

oh anon. i’m sorry. 🥺 i am sitting with you and we will piece this out together though, okay? 🧩 it’s hard! i’ve actually been feeling kind of dejected, lately, like with tumblr in general and my usage of it—because i haven’t been using it like i used to! so i guess that’s the first thing: to figure out what you want out of it, and then figure out what it takes to make it happen. for me i enjoy this place most when i’m treating it like a scrapbook: quotes or pictures that inspire me, asks, things i doodle. the pros of that: you fill your space with stuff you love, or that means something to you! the cons: it can be a little isolating if the stuff you love, or the things that mean something to you, aren’t like… current writing or posting trends, lmao. but it all just depends on what you value! 🥺 i’m not a fast writer, and tend to favour long-term projects, so while it sometimes makes me sad when i fall out of the loop of things, ultimately i just accept (or try to) that that’s how i work in this space. 🥹 as mama cass said, sometimes you just gotta make your own kinda music.

drama makes everything boring! and tbh i think my biggest cheat with that is that i only follow a relatively small amount of x reader blogs. 🥹 that’s not intentional; i curate a pretty strict feed based on my other interests, though, so there ends up being a lot of competition for my attention. 🥺 the pros of this is that i tend to miss most discourse that happens (lmao). the con is that i tend to miss everything else, too, though. 🥹 you basically have to choose whichever bothers you less lmfaooo. and even then—drama or meanness or plain old weirdness will still find it’s way to you. 🥺 i think that’s just the unforch reality of being on social media. especially in a niche that’s so… driven by something as personal as literally self-inserting, and dependant on the validation of others. 🥺 i’m sorry people have made you feel like you’re in competition with your friends! it sucks, because i think we as writers like… live in our own heads, lmao. we know so much about the worlds and characters we’re trying to write. but people outside of our heads don’t—think the same way! 🥺 they will draw comparisons where maybe we don’t want them to. 🥺 i think that’s a natural response, tbh; especially if they love something, and see work with like, a similar theme or tropes, but despite it being a compliment it doesn’t always feel great. 🥹 i guess the only advice (and reminder, for myself) i can offer is that you and your friends aren’t in competition—but rather thrown into the same maze together. 🥺 the only way out is to hold hands to make sure none of you get lost, and walk through. 🥹

anon!!! 🥺 i hope you find a way to make your blog feel more homely. you’re always welcome here—the door’s always open for the sunlight and the bees—but i want you to feel like the important part of the neighbourhood you are! 🥺 and safe enough that you can leave your door open, too. 🪟🎐🌾

#ofmermaidstories-asks

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justlet-melive · 1 year ago

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here’s a question :3 uh do you have like any favourite anatomy or reference books/texts. or any tips for doing study’s??

sorry if this is like annoying or weird idk i’ve just been a little obsessed with your art lately. the way you capture shape and movement is so fantastic. you have such a talent for capturing characters personality through visual quirks too. idk like the way you draw ellie tlou is so specific. it’s not exactly on model but it’s kind of better lol. i can instantly tell most of what you need to know about her. same with your recent astarions like idk you’ve just managed to capture a real physicality about him that i think can be hard. idk i’m maybe biased but i think without any exposure to the game you could probably guess how he moves and sounds from your art.

idk uh sorry if this is worded weird i feel like i always do that LOL okay though anyways i adore your art it’s just so distinct. i’d eat it if i could. i’d honestly do a lot to capture even a fraction of the magic you’re creating. okay hope this message finds you well BYE

no need to feel self conscious about doing me a kindness in the form of gratifying to read, thoughtful observations of my fanart!!!!

thank you. very late response because i wanted to respond with some equally thoughtful advice and also let my ego calm down a bit, but..

im 'lazy' and like to keep drawing for fun as easy as possible. So i dont have any reference books hm... You obviously look at art and are able to relay to yourself and others what you saw and felt. thats the skill you should always indulge. looking at all kinds of things youre drawn to and observing why. best ref! (thanks again btw, best feeling being on the receiving end of that. to be... astarion voice: Seen in the Eyes of Another)

I have studied (and continue to do so when i get the chance) figure drawing at my community college, which was a big leap. i ended up focusing a lot on the relationship between the ribcage/pelvis/flow of the spine at that time. still my favorite part of drawing lol. During my most recent artblock i started copying muscle anatomy pages from a Morpho book as a way to keep drawing without a proper fixation. which is great because i also love the weight of flesh :^D

if you'd like my 'woo-woo advice' it's to get lost in the process and less invested in the results. and never be embarrassed. it'll keep you drawing (behind every piece of successful fanart is a mountain of scrap drawings of Fictional Guy #2378 facing 3/4 left.) and its meditative!! cathartic? personally i like to have a song/playlist to keep up the emotion im trying to work out going throughout my drawing session. helps me tell if the expression im drawing feels 'right'

and on the topic of drawing off model--!! Anytime im onto a new character i do spend a few sessions tracing their proportions/copying their models. after i figure out more or less what about their original design makes that Character i like to lose the training wheels. artistic interpretation is more interesting for me to look at and create. and i think it frees you up to better convey a feeling. the more you draw something the more you settle into 'what works' but i never set out to draw the same way twice! usually never anyway

thank you again for taking time to observe my drawings, and relaying back what you saw and felt. it honestly makes my day(s) to the point i almost feel guilty about it

#i am not a succinct person #my real advice is just have the same fanart drawing hobby for ur entire life

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darkforze · 23 days ago

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I love Vean's design. Especially that his face is like 60% teeth :D

Also do you perhaps have some interesting bits to share about the Prime haunting Rick AU? :3c

AAA thank you Joyce! I’m very flattered that you like him. It’s actually a part of his design that his face is kind of stuck like that. His mouth naturally contorts into the smile and trying to make a different expression requires more effort than to just let it stay on his face.

Gotta be honest I haven’t really been doing much art for the Prime haunting au lately. I’ve recently started posting on other platforms focusing on just my oc art, so it’s kind of hard to find the motivation to draw rnm stuff at the moment. I feel pretty bad about that, because I know people are interested in the comics but I want to actually be in the mood to draw them or else it just… doesn’t feel genuine. If that makes sense.

I’m trying to think of a concept I have about it that I can share here though.. I imagine Prime starts to deal with some kind of sensory deprivation. He’s not meant to exist as a vision for so long so it would probably start to wear on his mind. He can’t touch anything or talk to anyone else. He’s completely chained to Rick the same way Rick is chained to him. But at least Rick can talk to other people and do activities to ground himself. The true effects of that haven’t set in yet since I’ve only drawn the start of the story but later down the line I think it takes a toll on Prime and he doesn’t want to show just how much it’s bothering him.

#rick and morty #prime haunting theory #ask box

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cookieblobber · 1 year ago

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The Defense of Steven Universe’s (OG Show) Ending

(This is basically a post where I put everything I said in a large Twitter thread so it’s more easily readable, with maybe a few changes and additions.

Spoilers BTW)

So I’ve been drawing a lot of stuff lately and in doing so, I’ve been rewatching a lot of old shows I used to watch and finishing whatever I missed out on. Steven Universe was an interesting one, as I recall having some form of obsession with it as a kid on Google+, however I barely remembered watching a lot of it or if I even watched it on TV or on websites like Kisscartoon. And after doing so,

I barely see the hate for it that it’s gotten for years.

It has its flaws, and issues that have plagued the show outside of what’s within it, but it’s no doubt memorable with a great cast of characters and very unique and fascinating lore and story telling. Now, I don’t wanna really get into a whole deep dive review on the whole show, as even though I’ve made a couple of essays lately (mainly on Sonic the Hedgehog), I don’t think I’m that experienced to go over an entire 5 seasons explaining each and every episode’s strengths and weaknesses and allat (though maybe I might discuss the amazing character development of each crystal gem in the future, who knows?), rather I want to discuss something that is partially why I started watching this show again: The Ending - Change Your Mind (S5E29).

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Now, the ending is understandably mixed, I understand the critiques of it being weird and anticlimactic and all and how it doesn’t feel like the diamonds’ actions on gem history was fully acknowledged and been punished for it. I completely get the criticism here and I don’t want to drive away people from making actual critiques on the show and where it could’ve improved upon.

What I mainly want to focus on is the notion that the ending can be summed up to, “Steven forgave Gem Hitler”

That is very incorrect.

See, the whole reason why White Diamond (the “Gem Hitler”) was involved with the story was because after Steven was able to prove to Blue and Yellow Diamond that he’s Pink Diamond, he takes the opportunity to use their stronger powers to restore one of the corrupted gems (Centipede). This works…for a moment, as they’re only restored once all 3 put their healing powers to use, but upon letting go of the gem, they reform back into their corrupted version. With Steven technically being part of the Diamond Authroity, he thinks maybe he can take advantage of his position to be able to speak to White Diamond, the highest gem in the patriarchy, and convince her to come to Earth to help the corrupted gems.

Throughout these last episodes, it’s clear this is all for a demand to help gems that were stuck on Earth. While Steven wanted to just try and talk to White, and convinced Blue and Yellow to express how they feel about how White has handled their civilization, there’s never a point where he’s all like “look inside your heart, please you have so much good in you I can feel it” or whatever. Considering how he had to fuse with the Crystal Gems and team up with others who showed up to be able to fight her mech and barely reach to the top of it to meet her, this whole plan wasn’t really as pacifist as many have made it out to be.

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Sorry to stray off a little but, funny thing is, as much as people make fun of Steven Universe for being a show where characters just talk their feelings out and suddenly everything is good, they acknowledge in one of the episodes that not every gem has this deep trauma or pain they try to hold in.

In the episode, “Stuck Together” he and Lars get caught by Aquamarine and Topaz, they both open up to each other about how no matter what happens, they got each other. This leads Topaz who throughout her introduction has been mute and serious and who has them held hostage, to start crying and vent about how much emotional pain she’s been holding in so much because it’s her job. When Aquamarine finds out she’s trying to help them escape, they desperately start trying to convince her that she’s allowed to open up about whatever she feels, that they’re here to listen and talk.

This is was her reaction.

And I have yet to watch Future right now, but from what I’m reading, even after a lot has changed since the original show and tons of gems live peacefully with Beach City, she shows up again to get her revenge.

At no point is she ever redeemed in any way.

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Anyways, the only reason why Steven was able to convince White to do something to corrupted gems on Earth was because he bested her and she couldn’t do anything about it.

Her whole ordeal was how she wants to have this flawless world where nothing goes out of line, even if it means having to mind control them so they act just like her. She views herself as being the perfect gem of all time who knows what’s best for everyone. However, due to how she’s acted with Steven, being an adult gem constantly picking on a literal child because she refuses to accept he’s not Pink Diamond or is part human; how it’s all just a disguise and Pink Diamond is just lying to herself, she’s embarrassed and realizes she indeed does have a flaw. She’s shaken up with guilt over how petty and childish she’s been acting, being exactly what she’s been criticizing Pink Diamond, to the point where she questions who she is. If she’s not this flawless perfect gem who knows what’s best, then what is she? What should she be since throughout her whole life she’s been obsessed with perfection? She can’t be leader of a whole gem civilization trying to make everyone flawless if she herself is flawed. What further solidified it was how she was unable to control Pink Steven no matter how much she tried, and once she started blushing and feeling embarrassed, she lost control on the other gems she had brainwashed. Blue and Yellow even react in disgust/fear seeing her become “off-color” due to her blush, basically for a moment them losing respect for her.

Steven goes up to her and tries to tell her to just, let people be who they are, without trying to “fix” them, and maybe she can be whoever she wants to be. White is still in distraught, wanting to be someone who knows better, be better, and wanting to make everything better, which Steven offers her a way to do so (which is coming to Earth to help the corrupted gems), but first needing to leave your own head - literally and figuratively.

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At no point throughout the ending is White crying about trauma or begging for forgiveness to Steven and having him go “it’s ok we all make mistakes 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰”, all that happens is Steven sees her essentially having an identity crisis now that she cracked and realized she isn’t as perfect as she thought she was, and being the good natured kid he is, offers to show her how she can be a better person, taking the opportunity to make her do what he set out to demand from her. To say they should’ve shattered her would’ve defeated the whole point as to why Steven even went back to Homeworld to begin with, cuz he needed White’s help. Plus, still haven’t watched Future but,

There is a scene where Steven actually attempts to SHATTER White Diamond upon taking control of her body for everything she has done to him, he CLEARLY doesn’t find her to be in the clear of everything she’s done.

TL;DR They can’t just shatter her cuz she’s the big bad villain, the whole point of the final episodes was Steven needing her in order to restore all the corrupted gems they’ve saved throughout the show. No matter what it took, he was going to find a way to do it. While I do agree that there could’ve been better acknowledgment on everything that she’s done to Homeworld and all, same goes for Blue and Yellow, as they’re immediately relegated to out of touch aunts, to make the massive stretch that this is supposed to be Steven forgiving Hitler or proof that Rebecca Sugar (a Jewish person) is a Nazi apologist…come on bro.

EDIT: I really recommend btw watching this video I recently just viewed discussing the show’s ending and really diving in about the topic of Steven’s identity and White’s identity. It’s informative summarizing a lot of what’s been hinted at and led up to the final episode and goes over stuff I could never even attempt to bring to light with how amateurish I am at this sorta junk 💀

youtube

And even if with everything being said, you still believe in the notion that “Steven forgave Gen Hitler” or whatever, I’m about to bring up an argument so earth shattering that it will make you re-evaluate everything you know about the show. So, here it goes:

IT’S A FUCKING PG CARTOON SHOW

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Listen, I know it’s very cliche to use the, “it’s a kids show it’s not that deep!!” argument or whatever idiots say to avoid people from discussing further about their favorite things, especially in an era where many are pushing the “Animation is Cinema” phrase and proving its not just kiddie shit only babies like, but what I mean is

At what point is it crossing the line when making comparisons from a thing in fiction to something in real life?

What makes a great story is how it’s able to draw connections to realistic issues or problems many face with unique metaphors and analogies and all of that, Steven Universe is no different. However, at what point are the metaphors or references to real life supposed to stop? At what point does it become stretching really hard? I can understand how people have had ideas that “fusion is a metaphor for sex” or whatever to some degree.

But going as far as to compare this obviously over the top dictator to the world’s worst man to have ever lived on planet earth who is responsible for the death of millions just because he so happens to also be a dictator, doesn’t that seem so…psychotic to even try to relate when it’s obvious that was never the intention? I mean look at this whole world of the show, it’s a futuristic jewelry space civilization filled with advanced technology and bright colors, how do you look at all of this and first thing that comes to mind is Nazi Germany? How do you look at a giant voluptuous white woman who’s existed for millenniums and think “yea that’s Hitler right there”, all because she’s simply a textbook definition of a dictator?

Trying to make her whole country this flawless world where no one goes out of line and disallows any form of diversity? Like any typical villain? Is that really all it takes to be considered as “animated Hitler”?

Does that mean the abandoned flawed gems in the abandoned Kindergarten that Steven and Lars met at the very bottom of Homeworld are supposed to be a reference to Anne Frank’s family hiding from nazis? One would say that’s a massive stretch to make and they’d be right, cuz it is…just like what people say about White Diamond.

These kinds of massive stretches and comparisons have been made in the past constantly, and for what? To gang up on a show that just wanted to teach kids the values of showing love and positivity, being there for your friends and families and trying to accept people’s flaws or differences in how they live? To make excuses to be blatantly anti-semetic towards the Jewish person who created this show? All because over shit like the fanbase was infamous at one point for how they treated each other and the show producers or because the ending wasn’t how many wanted it to be or how it debatably pushes the idea of positivity way too much in places where it shouldn’t try to?

At what point do people who criticize this show for it’s apparent farfetched ideologies of being kind to everyone, start sounding farfetched themselves for making these insane leaps in logic to make a blatantly slanderous argument and label on the show? If something like “White Diamond is supposed to be Gem Hitler” is something many easily gave into believing, what kind of fucked up comparisons would people make next about the entirety of Homeworld or gems as a species till these start to sound like psychotic conspiracy theories?

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Steven Universe is no doubt a flawed show, I won’t deny that, will never deny that. As much as I defend the ending and go against how people have slandered the show, I can admit stuff could’ve been done better. However, like I’ve said at the beginning, I fail to see how all the hate the show’s gotten for years has ever been deserved or warrented. It’s clear that even with its flaws in storytelling, pacing, (sometimes animation), there is still so much to love about this show. It’s characters, it’s music, it’s themes, it’s lore, etc. There’s good reason as to why people love and still fondly remember it and consider it to be just as important as the other shows that brought in this renaissance era for Cartoon Network (Gumball, Regular Show, and Adventure Time).

After all, just like what the ending taught people, things aren’t always going to be perfect, and that’s ok. Flaws make things what they are, and unless said flaws actively have negative effects on things, there’s no reason to fight against them so excruciatingly. We may strive hard for perfection and flawlessness, to be considered perfect or for a thing we like to be considered perfect, but at some point, trying to do so much just to achieve said perfection will down the road start to become an issue and affect ourselves and the ones around us, the ones we love.

When you think about it, a lot of what has happened within the fanbase and the critics of the show mimic similar attitude to White Diamond. This want for perfection, for nothing to be going out of line, but all it’s done is damage the show’s reputation to many.

Fans on here long ago harassing an artist for the way they drew one of the characters of the show as she wasn’t in this “perfect” body shape they wanted her in. Or harassing producers of the show for how they’d handle things like (iirc) Lapis and Peridot’s “relationship” because it didn’t match their “perfect” connection between the two, and more.

On the other side, critics like the infamous Lily Orchard blasting the show for not being this “perfectly” told story and going out of her way to make these insane comparisons to have some leverage in this giant attack on the show and what it stands for.

These wild and out of pocket attempts to make everything perfect for the show, and what has it done? It heavily soured how people view the show, making people want to stay away from getting into it as from the POV of the outside looking in, it’s a whole rabbit hole they probably shouldn’t get into…for their sake of their mental health. This mindset to be caught up in selfish outlandish views of what’s deemed as being perfect has only made things worse for everyone on every side of discussion on this show. And while as of lately things seem to be recovering, as more people are giving the show a second chance and realizing how messed up people like Lily Orchard were, still the effects of what happened back in the mid-late 2010s are noticeable in some areas.

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If it gets to a point where we’re fighting a flaw that barely affects anyone, is it really a flaw that is that important or even a flaw at all to begin with? We can strive to be better people and learn from mistakes, but a perfect person who can do no wrong is just impossible.

Flaws are what help make everything feel unique in it’s own right. That’s not to say some flaws can’t be acknowledged and called out, but as for flaws that sum up to “someone/something is different from what I expected”, it seems over the top to go so hard to fight against it, as we’d be fighting against having diversity among each and every one of us.

If every pork-chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs.

#steven universe #white diamond #change your mind #Cartoon Network #god I’m really tired rn 😭#I want Blue Diamond to sit on me #Youtube

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wsdalt · 5 months ago

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hellooo i am a bit late but. ask game! 🏜️🎨🥤? (ik you did the last one already but recs are always fun!)

"what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?"

um… okay firstly i obviously love all comments, but i will say i enjoy when people sort of… point out/engage with the thesis of sorts of the fic? i suppose? i don't always go into a fic with a "thesis" i'm trying to convey in mind, but sometimes i do and i like when people pick up on it and engage with or mention it \o/!!

"recommend an author or fanfic you love"

well… i would recommend you pfft but you're the one sending the ask. so um… in the interest of sticking with felps related fics i will recommend “we made out way by finding what is real” and “once more to see you” because I’ve been in a federation escape stream mood \o/!! First one is them escaping (+ timeloop concept) and second one is post-escape… fluff I suppose? as much as it can be considering the circumstances and paranoia

"link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it" (out of order just in case i need to use a cut pfft. i did need the cut. okay have fun \o/)

it's that time of the week, time to pass the felps bystander guilt art… while this features other people in true nature to myself i will focus on felps with this though okay lets go: very cool piece first of all \o/!! second of all i have no idea if this is jaime's intentions with this art at all but…

felps having his face turned towards what is happening with cell and pac, but when you actually look he's looking completely past them? they're in his peripherals, surely… it's not that he can't see them, or he's entirely ignoring what's happening--it's in a murky sense of acknowledging it without acknowledging it? he's acknowledging it, but he can't look right at it. i like that as much as cell and pac draw your attention, felps stands out a lot--everyone else is in orange, and they're also a lot more… "fluid" i guess than him? (although with JV it's because he's dead and dead bodies don't really hold tension oops…) i just really like the perfect posture + almost casual stance

i think you can link it easily to the fact felps has a slight tendency to fall into the "everything's fine \o/" way of processing things--or at the very least tries to brush over his issues? it's not his method 100% of the time, and it doesn't fully work, but you know--you can also link the fact it doesn't fully work to the fact he looks back: he can't fully ignore it

i always imagine this scene as felps being told by cell to stand guard and make sure no one interrupts him and this very much feels like a depiction of that. a very sort of hopeless "what else can i do but this?" and throwing himself into it. he has his guard stance--but he looks back! maybe because despite the neutral expression (see again: "everything is fine" approach) he does care about pac a little and he doesn't want this to happen. he can't bring himself to watch, but he can't bring himself to look away and pretend it isn't happening either!

back to felps standing out: it really plays into that line he had when he mentioned to richarlyson that he was in prison--i'm paraphrasing a little i think because i don't have time to hunt it down, but he said something like "i was on the other side. i was alone." and you can really see that here! he's definitely not "one of them". the different uniform, the different colours, the difference in stance… despite the fighting going on the others seem more "united" as a concept…? i don't know how to explain it

the bystander guilt is also a fun thing combined with his saint stuff and all that, but that isn't specific to this piece

anyway getting specific with it and really just taking audience interpretation liberties here even moreso than before: colouring behind felps' head as halo and by extension priest imagery if you're me. his hands behind his back is cool--i can't remember if i wrote this into my fic(s?) specifically because of this piece, but i do lean into the idea of him during this era holding his hands behind his back as a professional way to hide them so people can't see them shaking

felps being the tallest can also be a reference to the fact he's technically supposed to have the most power here due to being a guard, but that's neither here nor there as he… doesn't actually have much power in the scene (the blackmail). although maybe just the illusion of power, but not acting on it is interesting? to someone like pac--he could've stopped it. or tried to. but he didn't. and we know that's because of the blackmail--but it'd be hard for pac to conceptualise that if he wasn't the kind of person to do the "everything's fine!" thing and succeed very very well until he has to break

celltw are fun and jaime did amazing with them of course, but this piece will always be the felps bystander guilt art to me. i have it as my lock screen pfft

#wsd/f.elps #? sure it can have that tag #hi \o/!!!

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ryuichirou · 1 year ago

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HI I LOVE YOUR ART

MAY I ASK HOW YOU DRAW POSES? DO YOU USE REFERENCES OR HAVE ANY TUTORIAL BOOKS YOU USE?

Hiii thank you so much!! And sorry for the late reply! <3

Unfortunately I can’t suggest any tutorial books, since I don’t really use anything of the sort. The majority of the poses that I draw I take just from my head/imagination. If I want something very specific, like holding an instrument or a weapon, I’ll definitely google some references of people using them just to make sure that I’m imagining it correctly, and if it’s complicated, I might use more references for that.

But of course the imagination thing is not something you’re born with, I have a luxury to do so because I used to draw A LOT of studies of random poses + stared at a lot of artworks from other people over these years (and I’ve been drawing for a very long time). I still always try to analyze what works and what doesn’t from the stuff that I like, to memorize interesting poses and choices, to think about how I can change them so they would look more expressive. Katsu spent almost two month at my place this autumn, and all this time I’ve been drawing studies of all kinds of poses that could be useful for me in the future… poor Katsu’s back lol (Katsu’s note: there’s actually barely anything useful though)

So yeah, I think it’s very beneficial to draw and analyze different poses either from pictures/movie screenshots or from real life. You don’t have to spend a lot of time on each one of them – just try to remember the flow and details that seem the most impressive and notable. In short, working on your visual library and drawing studies is very important!

I hope it all makes sense, but if you have any more questions, feel free to ask them <3

#replies #about drawing

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canmom · 1 year ago

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L’Aventur de Canmom à Annecy - Jeudi 1: Art College 1994

Woke up super late today - turns out you can’t run on 5 hours sleep a night, who knew. Rip to another chance to see Mars Express lmao

The silver lining is that I can write more about Stuff Wot I Did At Annecy.

First thing on Thursday, I joined my friend to watch Art College 1994 dir. Jian Liu. This donghua was pretty different from most donghua I’ve seen, which have tended towards mythology and fantasy - it’s a very grounded slice of life about a handful of students at (can you guess) an art college in 1994.

The main characters are two painter boys and two musician girls, and the film consists of a lot of long conversations - a lot about art, modernity and the influence of western art movements vs traditions, conceptual art, what the purpose of art is, how and where to try to get renown, etc., but also what to do with their lives, whether to leave China, relationships, etc etc. And while the film doesn’t put a lot of weight on historical context, we do see the effects of China opening up in the post-Deng period: characters will covet Japanese sound systems, visitors come from America and Taiwan, and the young students are fascinated by Western modernist art movements, which they see as progress.

It’s very naturalistic: characters will ask questions and not answer them, and we will see carefully depicted everyday activities, eating, washing, sleeping etc. In this it reminded me a lot of the films of Richard Linklater (AN120), such as Waking Life.

Before the film, the director came on stage to say that this film was his way of showing respect to this generation. So perhaps there is an element of nostalgia. But mostly I got the feeling that the students in the 90s in China were much the same as students of every generation.

The animation style was interesting. The character designs are so realist and consistently drawn that I wonder if rotoscoping was involved, but the movement does not feel like roto at all, so perhaps rather than roto it’s just heavy photo reference? Or maybe the animators are just that good at drawing lol. The drawing count is very low (not surprising with all the detail), but the motion we see is in general very carefully observed and naturalistic - there’s rarely anything really flashy but it’s very consistent. It’s a film that could easily have been done in live action, but given the theme about art, it’s interesting to present these characters as constructed drawings.

The backgrounds deserve special praise. They must be heavily photoreferenced, but they’re insanely detailed line drawings with mostly flat colours, which gives a very strong effect. I don’t know if they had some kind of digital posterisation shortcut but it honestly looks too good for that; it makes the cuts to nature and the sense of place extremely strong. The amount of effort to make them must have been extraordinary. The music too, while sparse, is very effective when it’s deployed. Overall the film really captures a feeling, of a moment of undetermined possibility.

The film ends on an ambiguous note, but after-credits text tells you what became of all of the characters, which felt like a bit of a misstep. Nevertheless... the pacing is slow and it’s definitely one I think you need to be in the right mood to see, but overall I enjoyed this film. I’m definitely curious to check out Jian Liu’s previous films. And it’s exciting to see donghua branching out from mythological films - don’t get me wrong I love the mythological films but I would love to see donghua become as diverse as anime.

#l'aventure de canmom à annecy #annecy film festival #annecy #animation #donghua #film #art college 1994

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ellieellieoxenfree · 7 months ago

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52 weeks, 52 movies: march

LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

yeah this is super-late i know i know. i'll try to be more timely with april. :E

no rewatches this month; faves, as always, in bold.

new countries added to the cinematic world map: morocco, chad, and the philippines. i still have a pretty heavy reliance on american/uk films, but did fit 18 countries in. so i guess i kept a decent amount of variety in the diet.

the whaler boy (russia) — leshka (vladimir onokhov), a teenage boy in the remote village of chukchi, becomes enamored with a camgirl (kristina asmus) from detroit and plans to journey to america to meet her.

longtime mutuals know how much the movie nói albinói means to me — it’s my icon and has been for years, and was a livejournal fixture long before i joined tumblr. this movie recaptured the magic of watching that for the first time. they’re spiritual cousins of movies, both set in bleak, isolated landscapes stripped of all color; their teenage protagonists both ache with impossible want for the world beyond their small towns. their lives are monotonous and grim, livened only by the promise of women just out of reach. the black, deadpan comedy runs strong. leshka’s grandfather (nikolay tatato) speaks frankly of his plans for his own demise with the same energy one would use to discuss the weather, and i thought back to the bark of laughter i let out at nói’s dispassionate blood-splash scene.

it’s both violent — during a whale hunt, the men stand in a tide foaming with blood and viscera as they pull a carcass to shore — and hauntingly beautiful, such as in a scene where leshka and his friend (vladimir lyubimtsev) take a motorcycle ride through the endless, empty landscape. we see moments of gentle humanity juxtaposed with brutality. a power failure leads to some families bonding in soft candlelight, but sends leshka into a frenzy when he loses access to the girl who lives inside his computer screen. the dialogue goes from wryly funny (‘i’m busy today. i’ll definitely die tomorrow,’ muses leshka’s grandfather) to agonizingly painful, as during the retelling of a story about a chukchi resident who crossed the bering strait over to alaska and met a bad end as a result.

leshka is a tour de force performance from vladimir onokhov, relying less on dialogue and more on onokhov’s subtly expressive face. he conveys the universal yearning of frustrated adolescence without a word, while saving much of his speech for hushed one-way conversations with his dream girl in detroit. he has a quietly powerful magnetism that draws your attention whenever he appears.

it’s a strange, hazy film, rich with metaphor and dreamscape. lovely, profound, and absolutely one of the finest films i’ve seen all year.

millie lies low (new zealand) — thanks to an anxiety attack, architecture student millie (ana scotney) misses her flight from wellington to new york for her internship, but decides to pretend to her family and friends that she’s there and thriving.

there’s something particularly special about a movie that you forget as you’re watching. i struggled to stay focused on this, and had to rewind several times because i kept losing interest.

the problem is that the movie never quite commits to itself. it shies from letting its emotional beats land; nothing seems to carry much consequence. when millie learns she doesn’t have the cash to replace her ticket, it dips into farcical schemes — trying to take out a personal loan and stealing her own car as collateral; skulking in sweatshirt and sunglasses around family and friends’ usual haunts; camping in a tent she uses as the backdrop for crudely photoshopped images for social media. (how any adult with a functioning set of eyes would fall for millie’s low-effort ipad creations is beyond me, but i digress.) it makes half-hearted attempts at addressing things like massive time differences, but skirts the question of ‘wouldn’t the firm hosting the internship just get in touch with millie’s family when she failed to show up?’

there are tantalizing ideas that could be coaxed out of the material in the hands of a more focused director. it’s clear that millie is hamstrung by others’ expectations and her lack of faith in her own potential, but when her ruse is exposed, the landing is so soft that it renders all of millie’s hysterical schemes rather ridiculous. there was so little shock or betrayal or anger that the side characters ended up feeling like unfinished caricatures. even the great jillian nguyen, as millie’s best friend, is wasted — the movie nudges itself into something resembling energy when it exposes nguyen’s carolyn in flagrante delicto with millie’s boyfriend, but then fizzles out again. i found it impossible to care about anyone because the movie found it possible to try to make me care. i’d say it ends with a whimper, but i think a whimper would have taken more effort than this was willing to put in.

benny’s bathtub (denmark) — a bored little boy named benny (bo jakobsen) follows his pet tadpole down the drain of his bathtub and into a magical world of adventure.

danish kids in the ‘70s lucked out with this bite-sized animated gem, a lush, multi-media riot of bright color, jazzy music, and quirky characters. a pair of skeletons argue and end as piles of mismatched bones, while a mischievous color-changing octopus interferes with a nattily-dressed shrimp’s romantic designs on a trio of mermaids. a furious crab and his smaller underlings try to deal out despotic, but ultimately impotent, justice. it understands the blithe logic of childhood and merrily dips from vibrant set piece to vibrant set piece at a lively pace without ever overthinking or overexplaining. thick acrylic strokes pop against delicate watercolor backgrounds, and some of its more psychedelic moments, such as the rapid-fire color change benny’s octopus friend undergoes during his solo number, bring to mind the dizzying spectacle of the ‘lucy in the sky with diamonds’ scene in yellow submarine.

much of the pleasure of this movie is experiencing it for yourself, because it can’t quite adequately be explained. it’s such a wondrous feast for the eyes that descriptions can’t quite do it justice. it’s lovingly rendered in every frame. powerhouse danish jazz acts provided the score and a wealth of musical numbers — the squabbling skeletons argue about the virtues of their respective mothers, terrifying pirate queens. (‘she screamed with joy when she saw blood,’ one fondly notes.) a particularly inventive scene in the middle makes use of photorealistic silhouettes that splash in and out of frame like squirted ink.

it’s a beloved classic even now in denmark, and for good reason. it’s one of the most stunningly unique films i’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing. i treasured every moment.

the tune (usa) — threatened with the loss of both his job and his girlfriend if he doesn’t deliver a pop hit by day’s end, a struggling songwriter (daniel neiden) finds himself journeying to the off-kilter world of flooby nooby, whose odd residents might help him find the perfect line.

i made this a double feature for a movie night pick, alongside benny’s bathtub. they make a good pair, as they each carry their own wacky, anarchic energies. rather than the jewel tones of benny’s, the tune opts for delicate colored pencil, which gives a fuzzy, twitchy energy to the proceedings — a perfect match for del’s frazzled mental state. the animation is utterly elastic — people, possessions, and places all distort with reckless abandon, twisting and contorting and folding in on themselves. alongside the dominant colored-pencil artwork, director bill plympton dabbles in a variety of styles, including thick-lined matte animation, pastels, and scratchy rotoscoped realism, so that each new scene carries with it endless, playful possibility. a man’s head transforms into a hand sprouting from his shoulders and fish swim out of his palm; a hot dog and bun have a romantic rendezvous in a field of flowers; a dog crooning elvis tunes wobbles under the weight of his massive pompadour. in an extended gag, two businessmen constantly up the ante of comical punishments for each other, such as one of them pouring plant feed on the other’s head, causing his head to turn to grass.

the storyline is admittedly secondary to plympton’s whimsical sensibilities. del does try to keep pushing forward in his mission to get to his boss’ (marty nelson) office, but his journey mostly exists to facilitate as many madcap escapades can fit into 69 minutes. composer maureen mcelheron (also the voice of del’s girlfriend, didi) packs the proceedings with a musical cornucopia of styles — the aforementioned elvis, tango, wistful country, rumbling blues, show tunes, and surf rock among them, on top of del’s jingly pop tune attempts. i still find myself humming ‘my love for you / is equal to…’ from time to time.

it’s something of a polarizing film, relying as heavily as it does on its music and its cheerful refusal to stick to its own stated narrative. much like its noodling animation, it meanders in and out of ideas, and either you submit to its chaos and let it lead you along, or you find the entire affair a bit insufferable and self-satisfied. i fell firmly into the former camp. i’m not familiar with plympton’s name offhand, but the whole affair felt so cozy and familiar to me — it came out in 1992 and somehow reminded me of every piece of oddball animation i saw as a child — that not being charmed by it was never an option.

march viewing: other titles

sequin in a blue room (australia)

this is me…now (usa)

lingui (france/chad)

a day at the races (usa)

fireworks (2018) (japan)

friends and strangers (australia)

butterflies are free (usa)

not of this earth (1988) (usa)

never steal anything small (usa)

return to oz (usa)

juha (finland)