#i’ve been thinking about high school me going to the plastic surgeon and like if my nose was narrow but with a bump i wouldn’t gaf like if
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ashmp3 · 6 months ago
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my hater moment for the day yes it’s 8.30 in the morning but whatever like if you have a skinny narrow nose from the front in my head your nose is not big like at the very least it’s at the bottom of the big nose pyramid
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4lexnilsen · 2 months ago
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an amused smile seems to reside on alex’s lips permanently with helena around.   he doesn’t remember the last time he met someone and their personalities just clicked in an instant,  pale blue eyes twinkling with a newfound happiness as he studies her on their way out of the library building.   “must have been the latter.   i’ve been trying to find all that lost charm ever since,  but to no avail,”   he muses with a laugh,  trying to hide just how awkward he truly is.   “and believe it or not,  but i even played basketball when i was a teen.   i was real good at it,  too.   that should have helped revive my love life,  right?   well,  it didn’t.”   he played basketball both for west linfield high school and in the intramural league at his family’s church,  wasn’t a bad-looking kid,  but he was always shy and reserved.   and with how hectic life at home got,  he never had the time to attend any dances or parties after school,  kept his social circle small.   “what about you?   any pre-k love affairs?”   he asks,  wondering what her story is and why a beautiful and smart woman like her would be single.
“that’s such a noble cause.   you know,  becoming a vet because you want to help animals,  and not going in for the money as some people do.”   it’s like that with human doctors,  too,  he thinks.   the truly dedicated ones are few and far between.   “a german shepherd?   that’s —”   he wants to say how that’s one of his favorite breeds,  truly majestic when a loud barking interrupts him.   alex nilsen is an animal lover,  and he’s not easily intimidated,  but he would have to be stupid not to take a step back at the sight before him.   a german shepherd.   yes,  alright,  but a particularly big and buff and seemingly upset german shepherd.   he forgets about the jacket and instinctively lets go of helena,  his hands up in the air to show the protective creature that he means no harm.   it’s impressive how well-behaved ace seems to be,  listening to the brunette’s orders,  but a chill still creeps up alex’s spine.   he doesn’t move,  frozen to the spot,  but does smile awkwardly and even nods shyly as they get introduced.   “hi,  ace.   guten tag?   does he only speak german or…?   are you making fun of him being a german shepherd?   would you be speaking french if he was a french bulldog instead?”   he lightly teases,  sucking in a breath and willing his shoulders to relax.   majestic beast.   but a beast nonetheless. 
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“oh,  it’s fine.   he’s just doing his job.   after all,  he doesn’t know me.   maybe i smell like a potential ted bundy to him?   who knows what he’s thinkin’?”   shrugging,  he doesn’t dare insist she takes his jacket.   who knows what the dog would do if he tried to drape it around her shoulders again?   “he’s very well behaved,  though.   how long did it take to train him?   did you do it yourself?”   he inquires in an attempt to fill the silence,  and keep his eyes from wandering towards ace.   she must be the only person in the world who prefers alexander over alex,  but he’s starting to like that about her.   “and the barney thing…   if i really look like that purple dinosaur,  i might need a plastic surgeon not a trip to walgreens.”   it’s his turn to laugh,  genuinely now,  as they cross the street.   “is he a real service dog?”   he wonders aloud,  knowing some people try to cheat the system a bit.
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"it's a secret." putting it simply, lips curling innocently. deciding to keep him guessing which was much more fun than simply just telling him. a more clumsy man, but not him, the words coaxed a laugh out of her. "oh, a lady's man in pre-k... what happened in kindergarten? you stopped womanizing? or just a tragic tale of you losing your rizz happened?" she stifled a laugh, dark haired girl bantering back with him. though now she was staring bewildered, he's ACTUALLY been single SINCE pre-k... or is he lying? it was hard to believe. almost everyone and their dog has had at least one or two boyfriends/girlfriends... it was crazy meeting someone who was like her... single since PRE-K.  "it started since i was five years old, i always wanted to help animals. and i do! isis a black cat and ace my german shepherd who's actually with me outside. he goes everywhere where i go." and yes, he's certified in being a service dog, so he's allowed to go anywhere but helena decided to let him wait outside the library for her since it was just going to be a quick trip and he didn't need to be led around everywhere when he could simply just sit and hang out.
"excuse you, alexander?" a dark brow raised, "it's helena." she corrected. "i wasn't calling you barney because you LOOK like a barney. i called you barney because of your purply spot on your face... as a joke." mr. defensive... but she bit her tongue and kept that one inside. a sudden plethora of warning BARKS snaps the cold air as ace jumps up on all fours after noticing his owner's came finally came back and with a strange man. unrecognizable in looks AND scent. alex's arm stretched out towards helena triggers something inside his brain along with her body language telling him she's not happy, he's ready to snip some ankles if he HAS to,  "no, ace. Fuß." foot. which essentially means HEEL in american. helena immediately commands, gently pushing mr. barney back. ace sits right away, halts from tearing into the boy and then helena offers her hand to ace to help him chill out, "paw." he shakes but keeps a close eye on the male with his big intimidating gold eyes.
"good boy, acey," helena kisses his big furry head, "this is alexander. but he says you can call him alex." amusingly smiling because she likes calling him his full name, taking the hoodie from alex and letting ace sniff it, "sicher." another training word spoken in german: safe. letting ace know he's safe and not a threat. the word and the long moment of sniffing out the hoodie, has ace comfortably sitting now, looking at alex with less intimidation. deciding to tolerate him now. "sorry about him... he's super sweet, i PROMISE. just very protective." as her father trained him to be. helena informs, hoping ace's first impression doesn't make him think she has a mean killer attack dog. well, she does. but ONLY if she said the word, only when he feels like helena's life is in jeopardy. "thank you for this. but you should keep it, i have a jacket on. i promise, i'm comfortable..." smiling up at him, draping it over his shoulders so he doesn't get cold. she gathers ace's dark purple leash that pairs well with his black harness attached with a 'service dog' patch and utters the word, "release." so he knows to stand and walk now. ace walks on her right side and she keeps alex on her left, leading them to the crosswalk and quickly crossing while they got the green light. "alexander isn't a mouthful, they're just lazy and maybe even jealous you have a beautiful timeless name. and yes, i am helena to everyone." a soft laugh sounds from her while she's quickly jogging across the street, ace picking up his step and trotting with her. 
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young-dumb-and-vaccinated · 3 years ago
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The Sommelier (Hannigram x Female!Reader) pt. 5
More people said yes to Hannigram, which is good because Will is already involved in the plot and it would be awkward to have him just disappear. Also, I had someone request a Hannigram x reader in my asks. Apologies to the one person who voted no; I promise there will be more solo Hannibal x reader content in the future.
Hannibal decides to that y/n could do with some extra protection, but doesn’t anticipate what she has to tell him.
I have no idea how to make a proper tag list but @deadman-inc-bikeshop and @dovahdokren here you go 
Trigger warnings: discussions of alcohol, victim blaming
“When I saw his face, I immediately knew he had never once experienced the touch of his own hand, let alone that of a woman.” Charissa read out loud to everyone on staff. “Or, that he was buried so deep in the closet he found Narnia, but those two things aren’t mutually exclusive.” 
It was expected to be a slow night, as was normal for an ordinary Tuesday. On nights like those, you could get away with more, like reading a tabloid article out loud for everyone to hear. 
“I can’t believe [F/N] actually went public.” One of the new busboys commented. “What an absolute madlad.”  
“Did you just unironically use reddit terminology in an actual conversation?” You narrowed your eyes at the kid. 
“[F/N], you are making a very dangerous enemy.” An older waitress said, cryptically, from the corner of the room. 
“Who, Jason?” You gestured to the busboy. “What’s he gonna do? Make me cringe myself to death?” 
“You know that’s not who I mean.” She frowned. “I’m talking about Chase Mulvaney.” 
“Don’t be ridiculous.” You shook your head. “He’s not stupid enough to come back here.” 
Charissa made a noise that denoted her doubt. “I dunno, [F/N]. You’d have to be pretty stupid to start stabbing people at a crowded restaurant in broad daylight.” 
“But he was smart enough to get away, right?” Jason asked. “That’s gotta count for something!” 
You and Charissa exchanged glances. Neither of you had the emotional bandwidth to explain white privilege again. Instead, you just humored him. 
“Yeah.” Charissa lied. “He was smart enough to get away, meaning he probably knows better than to come back.”
"You're kidding yourself." A third waitress, who's name you couldn't seem to place, added. "People always say that killers are these galaxy-brained superhumans, but they're not. Mulvaney believes he's divinely ordained, so any thought that pops into his coked-out head is a sign from god."
And so shattered your thin firmament of denial. You made a point to never learn this person's name just out of spite.
“Oh, shit.” You said, trying to hide your genuine fear with a sarcastic voice. “Maybe he is coming back for me.” 
Charissa glared at the two other waitresses, equally pissed at them for scaring you.
"And it'll be your own fault for provoking him with that article." The older waitress said.
"Holy victim-blaming, batman." You mumbled.
“Alright, listen up, y’all.” Matthew announced to the group. “In ten minutes we open for dinner. Remember, if you want to switch shifts with another person, you have to run it by me first. I don’t want to see anybody but [F/N] at the bar tonight, capiche?”
“Yessir.” You saluted him and made your way over to the bar. You’d been doling out your bartending shifts left and right to avoid even the possibility of being cornered by another Freddie Lounds. You were only prolonging the inevitable, though. Eventually, you needed to return to the bar.
You passed the hostess's stand, where Charissa was stationed. Suddenly, you felt someone grab at your arm.
"Fucking hell, dude?!" You flinched violently and your heart rate jumped. "Don't do that!"
"Shit, sorry!" Charissa looked immediately regretful. "But, look!"
You followed her gaze through the window where a fancy car was parked. He leaned against the door, adjusting the cuffs of his dress shirt.
Now your heart was beating fast for a completely different reason. You squeezed Charissa's hand, trying to keep a lid on your nervous excitement.
"I think your luck's starting to turn." She said in a sing-songy voice.
"Yeah, I bet he'll protect me from the Baltimore Butcher." You whispered, trying not to giggle like an elementary school girl.
"Oh, could you imagine those arms around you?" She sighed deeply, her hand firmly against her chest. "I would die."
"Not until he sinks his teeth into your neck." You smirked, gnashing your teeth together.
"I would let him." She rested her chin on her hand.
"Yeah, me too." You agreed.
"I would give anything to trade shifts with you." Charissa groaned.
"Well, you heard the boss." You shrugged, suddenly feeling much better about your assignment. "I gotta stay behind the bar."
"Oh, pobrecita." Charissa rolled her eyes. Underneath the stand, she put up her middle finger in your direction. "Suck a dick, [L/N]."
You walked backwards towards the bar, keeping your eyes on your friend. "That's the plan, baby."
You tried to make yourself look busy. You dared not look at him as he entered the restaurant.
He exchanged pleasantries with Charissa then took his seat at the bar. You pretended not to notice him right away, only to give you an extra second to compose yourself.
"Hi there." You greeted, knowing you'd feel stupid no matter what you said. "Er- good evening."
"[F/N] [L/N], I assume?" He asked.
Fuck, you thought. His voice was dark, low and made your insides tremble. Even though part of you knew he was going to know your name, it still felt so sensual passing his lips.
You realized you had waved to him with your bandaged hand. That's how he was about to identify you so quickly. "Yes, I am she. I mean- her. Me."
Way to go, dumbass. You thought. Now he knows you're nervous and he's going to wonder why.
“God, I need to stop wearing this damn thing.” You said, clearing your throat. “What can I get for you tonight?” 
He was quiet for a moment. "What do you recommend?"
"Well, that depends." You said, pulling your gaze from him and grabbing a few wine glasses down from a high shelf. It was the only way you could maintain your composure.
"On?"
"What you're having for dinner, for one." You said. "And whether or not you're a vulpine tabloid journalist trying to corner me into a dubiously ethical interview. That's also a factor."
"So that's how Miss Lounds wore you down?" He concluded. "With wine?"
You rested your elbows on the bar, filled with an intoxicating confidence. "She tried wine first. Then she tried to get me fired because she asked for chardonnay and I brought her chablis. And when that didn't work, she siphoned my gas."
"I wish I could say that was out of character for her." He looked at you, apologetically.
"I take it you've had your own run-ins with Freddie?" You smiled.
"She's tried to infiltrate my practice multiple times." He sighed. "She's entered my office under a fake name with a recording device in her purse."
"What a sick fuck." You said, before remembering you really weren't supposed to curse in front of customers. You covered your mouth. "Sorry."
The corners of his mouth turned up into an amused smile. "Don't apologize. You're right."
“So you’re a doctor?” You asked, hoping he wasn’t the type to be offended by questions. 
“I’m a psychiatrist.” He nodded. “I used to work as a surgeon, but I find the mind much more compelling.” 
"Seriously, though." You pushed yourself back to your feet. "What can I get for you?"
He eyed the wine menu and then looked back at you. "What is your favorite red?"
"My favorite red?" You placed your hand on your collarbones. "On a night like this, I enjoy a nice, dry Argentinean Malbec."
"In that case," he thumbed through the list once more. "I'll have a bottle of Cobos Chañares from 2016, please."
You smiled. You wouldn't mind taking a sip of that if he offered. "Right away."
You carefully pulled the solid black bottle from its crevice and placed it on the bar. You removed the plastic seal and reached for the corkscrew. The bottle opened with a satisfying pop, filling the air around you with the strong, complex and seemingly contradictory aromas.
You poured a bit of this criminally expensive wine into his glass. He smelled it, then swirled it for a moment before taking a sip.
"Redcurrants and vanilla," he began. "With floral notes that operate with the precision of interlocking gears in a clock. Everything in its place."
"So you're a sommelier and a poet?" You tilted your head and filled his glass. "I'll bet you make women swoon at every corner."
You never had the best grasp on flirting, but even you knew that line was awful.
“Are you flirting with me, Miss [L/N]?” He asked, clearly not too worried about the consequences and enjoying the flattery. “Or are you just trying to get a taste of this Malbec?” 
“Little bit of column A, little bit of column B.” You shrugged. “Though you are as handsome as everyone says, I’ve had my eyes on that wine for slightly longer.” 
You fought the urge to slap your hand over your mouth. You had just broken the cardinal rule of workplace gossip. Panic reverberated through your body as you tried to break down his unreadable expression. 
Once again, he just looked amused. “I’ve seen those lingering glances, the way you all whisper and giggle. It’s flattering.” 
You felt your cheeks growing hot. “...I see.” 
“If you tell me what they say about me, I’ll let you have a taste.” His eyes bored into yours. 
You paused, trying to decipher exactly what he was offering. Then it hit you. 
“Oh!” You interjected. “The wine.” 
“Yes, that’s what I meant.” He said. “Dare I ask where your mind went?” 
Your cheeks stung from all the uncomfortable smiling. “I’d really like to keep my job, thanks.” 
“Have you never heard of bartender-client confidentiality?” His voice lowered and his eyes found your lips. “Nothing we say tonight has to leave these four walls.” 
Your insides turned to jelly. He rested the wine glass in his hand and offered it to you. Your hands shaking, you cradled the glass like an 18th century French village prostitute being offered a mug of hot soup. You brought the glass to your lips, the strong, overwhelming smells assaulting your orifices.
You let the wine grace your tongue. You had taught yourself to overcome the sting of the alcohol and focus on the undertones. Your eyes rolled back in to your head and you let out a little noise of pleasure. 
“Christ on a bike, that’s decadent.” You said, gasping for air a little bit. You quickly passed the glass back to him before Matthew could see you. “Thank you.” 
“Now, indulge me.” He instructed, glancing at the fresh pink lipstick mark on his glass. “What do the lovely women of Terroir whisper while I’m just out of earshot?” 
You rested your elbows on the bar and leaned in close. “They say you’re a vampire.” 
Judging by his unchanging neutral expression, it clearly wasn’t the first time someone had made that connection. “Perhaps they’re on to something.” 
“One of our line cooks used to say you were the devil.” You informed him, hoping that was one he hadn’t heard before.
“Used to?” He raised his eyebrows. 
“Until Chase Mulvaney came around.” You instinctively ran your fingers over your bandages, as if to make sure they were still there. It was a nervous tick you’d developed anytime someone brought up that day. “He’s stopped talking about, like, anything having to do with his religion ever since.” 
“It takes a lot to get an evangelist to stop evangelizing.” He refilled his glass. “Do you think he lost his faith?” 
“I heard someone say in passing that it was because he and Chase Mulvaney went to the same church.” You whispered. “But I can’t verify that.” 
“I’d say it’s more likely than a regular customer being a vampire, wouldn’t you?” 
“I wouldn’t trust their word because they made a regular customer into a vampire.” You corrected, hoping he would overlook the fact that you were one of them. “Secrets may stay within these four walls, but they tend to bounce around. It’s only a matter of time before one escapes, and you’d better hope it’s not one of yours.” 
This man must have been an exceptional therapist, because, there you were, baring your soul to him after fifteen minutes and one sip of wine. Occasionally, you were pulled away from the conversation by another customer who had the audacity to also want a drink. But, very few people came to you with the sole intent of drinking on a Tuesday evening. You and the sommelier talked until closing time. 
“Thank you for a lovely evening, Miss [L/N].” He said pulling out his wallet. “You are as delightful in person as you are on paper.” 
“Thank you, but I never caught-” you said, but stopped yourself. “I mean, you never gave me your name.” 
He signed his name on the paper check, then pulled out a fifty and unceremoniously handed it to you. “Now why would you want to ruin the mystery?” 
“Nothing we say tonight has to leave these four walls, remember?” You grinned and crossed your arms. “Come on, I won’t tell anyone.” 
He took the customer copy of the receipt and scribbled something down on it. He the folded it in half and slid it in your direction as if it contained nuclear launch codes. 
“Join me for dinner someday.” He ordered. “I’ll supply the Malbec.” 
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gohyuck · 4 years ago
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prologue | part 1 | part 2 | part 3
pairing: greaser!jeno lee x rich!reader; part of a collab by @neovisioned​
genre: greaser!au; runaways!au; criminal!au; angst/fluff/smut
word count: 10.4k
warnings: infidelity, miscarriages of justice, johnny’s a huge asshole in this i’m so sorry, a lot of straight up classism, explicit mentions of sex (fingering), vehicular manslaughter, armed robbery, general unarmed violence and fighting, pistol-whipping
a/n: so i know a lot of people loved the fact that my most recent long fic (surgeon jaemin!) focused on side characters, but i’ve made this fic pretty jeno-centric on purpose, and i hope it’s still as enjoyable as possible for readers! 
May 29, 1957
He’s always been easy on the eyes. 
It’s shallow, and a great part of him knows it. Still, as far back as he can remember, Jeno’s always had one thing, and one thing only: his looks. When he was 7 and starving on the streets, terrified of going back to a broken, lifeless home, he’d use his adorable face to elicit pity and pizza from the aging man who ran the local diner. When he was 15 and growing into himself, his blossoming attractiveness got the girl in his geometry class to give him her homework to copy off of, free of charge. When he’d first started working at the garage, a high school dropout at the age of 17, it was his ‘rugged handsomeness’ - review courtesy of the college girls who trailed their rich boyfriends as they searched for cheap fueling and car repairs - that called in tips by the handful. 
Jeno’s always had his looks. That’s why, even though he thinks it’s silly of him, he can’t help but look at you with eyes that are overflowing with apprehension. He grips the blond hair-dye just a little too tightly, fingers making what’ll be lasting indents in the plastic box. 
“Do I really have to do this?”
You arch an eyebrow, wrenching the dye out of his iron-grip as you do. Jeno watches, feeling more helpless than he has been this whole time as you shake its contents out into your hand. The bleach and the agent you mix it with fall into your open palm, followed by the barely darker dye. You read the instructions over once, twice, before finally looking up to meet Jeno’s trained gaze. 
It’s all you can do to heave a heavy sigh.
“You were framed for a robbery, and then you stole a car and accidentally kidnapped me, but the hill you choose to die on is dyeing your hair? Really? If you’re like this now, what are you going to do when we get tattooed?”
“I - We - Tattoos?” Jeno squawks, and you can’t help but sigh again before rolling your eyes. 
It’s going to be a long night. Amidst it all, you can’t help but think back to how everything started.
As Jeno keeps his glare trained on the dye, you can’t help but assume that he’s doing the same. 
♕ ♕ ♕
Day One: May 25, 1957
Cherry red lips, wanton giggles, a skirt that’s too short, even by what she calls her ‘very own tramp standards’. Jeno can’t get enough of it all - can’t get enough of her, he’s so intoxicated by her. It’s in the way her head falls back, her mouth falls open, her knees fall down, allowing her legs to fall wide. He leans over her, his well muscled arms making it easy to hover instead of collapse on top of her as he coaxes her release from her, two fingers deep in her spasming cunt while his thumb works away at her clit. Jeno’s close - so close - to what he wants, but he doesn’t dare to chase after it; instead of pressing his lips to hers and tasting that enticing lipstick for himself, he settles for pressing his forehead against hers, letting his soft breath land against the silent scream her mouth is currently displaying. 
Her chest heaves, her next breaths come out in gasps. As she settles down, Jeno can’t keep himself from dipping his head down, pressing a gentle and completely chaste kiss against the skin of her stomach between her belly-button and her underwear line. She squirms at the feeling of his warm lips against her now-hot skin, and he chuckles against her body before pulling away for good, though not before wiping his fingers on her thigh. 
“‘S that good, Jess?” He quirks an eyebrow, pulling a handkerchief from his back pocket for her to wipe the sweat across her forehead with. “There’s grease on that s- yeah, that’s the good side.”
“You sure know how to charm a girl, Jeno Lee,” The woman responds dryly, though he doesn’t miss the pleased smirk that crosses her features. She swipes at her inner thighs once before tossing the handkerchief - or, really, rag - at the mechanic, who catches it with ease and stuffs it back where it came from. 
“You’re the one who wanted to be fingered in the passenger seat of Johnny Suh’s car, filthy girl,” Jeno throws back, not surprised when Jess swats at his arm at the mention of her boyfriend. She loves Johnny, Jeno knows she does, but that doesn’t stop her from begging for Jeno’s fingers or tongue or, if she’s got time, his dick, whenever she stops by the City Motors garage that Jeno’s been employed at for the past two months. She always comes in driving Johnny’s red Chevy Bel Air convertible. He knows it’s bad of her and bad for him, especially if Johnny ever gets wind of it, but he can’t find it in himself to stop, not when it’s free spank bank material. 
Jeno’s probably a bad person for it. He doesn’t really care - after all, it’s just sex. If emotions were involved - and they never are, not for Jeno, not when it comes to getting his dick wet - it might be a different story. That, and it’s Johnny Suh’s girl. 
Jeno fucking hates Johnny Suh. 
“Say, speaking of John,” Jess says, seemingly sufficiently cooled down by now. “I keep meaning to and forgetting to ask - you’re the same age as his sister, aren’t you?” 
“(Name)?” Jeno asks, his brow furrowing when he gets a nod of confirmation. “Yeah, I mean, we were in the same homeroom and shit this past year. Why?”
“Just curious. You’ll probably see her a lot more often from now on, honestly - she got a job at the diner when they had that hiring spree last week.” Jess flicks her head vaguely towards Jeno, and he knows it’s because, if he turns around and looks out the window, he’ll be staring directly at Kim’s, what can be considered the only good eatery on this side of town. He tries his best to seem even vaguely interested at what Jess is saying - going so far as to crane his neck backwards in order to look at the same diner he sees day in and day out - but she calls his bluff easily. Instead of saying anything, she just rolls her neck out before finally shoving the car door open.
“Say ‘hi’ to her sometimes, y’know?” She asks, peering in once she’s standing. “For me. Forget that she’s a Suh sometimes. She needs to talk to more people, anyways.” Jess states, her gaze imploring. Still, Jeno can’t help but scoff at the last thing she says, prompting an affronted look from the woman who’s looking expectantly at him. 
“(Name)? Needing to talk to more people? Everyone adores her, she’s always with some new person getting into some bullshit. Honestly, she probably needs to talk to less people at this point.” Jeno explains himself so as to not garner anymore adversity from his fuckbuddy, though the way he squints in mild disbelief at Jess’ suggestion annoys her anyways. The mild petulance that comes through only serves to remind Jess that Jeno is, in fact, only 19 - and while her being 21 doesn’t change their dynamic much, it does bring about some slight difference in maturity. 
She tends to overlook it because the benefits seem to outweigh the detractors.
As Jess makes eye contact with Jeno, though, she knows he won’t listen to her friendly suggestion. She doesn’t know why she bothers, sometimes - even though she’s only in it for the sex, he’s really only in it for the sex. As far as anyone’s concerned, Jeno Lee does only two things, and he does them well: fix cars and fuck. Considering that he’s a high school drop-out with no plans of college or trade school, Jess supposes that he doesn’t have much else to do. 
“Whatever,” She finally acquiesces, not bothering to return the small smirk Jeno throws at her. “What’s the time?”
“It’s about 4:45,” The mechanic responds without even checking his wristwatch, though Jess doesn’t doubt that he’s right. “What time’s he coming by for his car again?”
“Couple minutes past 5. Got a smoke? I need one.” Jess is still peering into the car from outside, her expression making it seem like she’s waiting for something more than a quick cigarette break. Jeno holds her gaze steady for a beat, two beats, before he breaks away, pushing the door open on his side so he can finally get out too. After all, the car is honestly kind of cramped, and absolutely not ideal for what they’ve been getting up to in it… week after week after week. 
“You should tell your boyfriend to stop fucking up his car,” Jeno states simply, leaning over the fabric top of Johnny’s convertible. It’d been the left sideview mirror today, the transmission last week, the rims the week before. It wouldn’t surprise Jeno if Jess drives in four days from now with a crack in the windshield and her underwear already around her knees. Jess says nothing, only leveling Jeno’s stare. He waits, finally breaking it for the second time in a row once he’s sure she’s sweating a little bit in her new boots. The small smirk he allows himself as he beckons for her to follow him back into the garage is reward enough for him. There’s a pack of Camels set on his work bench, open in such a way that Jeno knows Jaemin must’ve taken one earlier when they’d started their shift together. 
“Help yourself, doll.” Jeno says, gesturing vaguely towards it after pulling a cigarette out for himself. He swipes the lighter off of Jaemin’s desk - his friend’s on a late lunch break at the diner right now anyways - and uses it to light up his own smoke before tossing it underhandedly to Jess. 
“Don’t ‘doll’ me,” She scoffs, her words muffled around the cigarette that’s now in between her lips. He admires her hands, her nimble red-tipped fingers as she lights it up, pulling it out from her mouth and letting it dangle between two fingers before setting the lighter down on top of the pack. “You know only Johnny’s allowed to call me that.”
“If he had that much of a handle on you, you wouldn’t be crying for my cock every week now, would you?”
“I don’t cry,” Jess protests, and Jeno finds both her sudden indignance, and the fact that this is the hill she chooses to die on, kind of cute. He has no feelings toward her, sure, but it doesn’t mean he can’t admire her for what she is: art. And someone’s gotta nail masterpieces against walls, right?
“You get the gist.” Jeno brushes her complaint aside with ease, blowing smoke out through one corner of his mouth before he speaks. “Tell him to watch where he parks so he doesn’t screw up his mirrors again. There’s gotta be some limit on daddy’s money.”
“Why don’t you tell him yourself?” Jess throws back, and Jeno can’t stop himself from rolling his eyes.
“His highness won’t talk to a lowly greaser like me, obviously. Probably thinks I spend all my tip money on hair oil or some stupid shit. You really picked one for yourself, Jess. Outdid yourself on the asshattery of the last one. The fact that he makes you drop his car off when he’s the one who screws it up should be a red flag itself.” Even talking about Johnny has a pit of dread growing in the bottom of Jeno’s stomach, and he drops his half-smoked cigarette to the ground before crushing it under his work boots. He knows it isn’t the cig making him feel sick, but he suddenly has no appetite left for nicotine anymore. 
“You’re lucky our friendship predates my relationship, or I’d fuck you up for saying shit like that,” Jess warns, though there’s no real bite behind her bark. She drops her cigarette to the ground too, and Jeno steps on it so she doesn’t have to. 
“Can’t believe you’re deciding to keep some kind of allegiance to me based solely on the fact that our moms used to stick us together when they went to whore around downtown while our dads were being drunken good-for-nothings somewhere or the other,” Jeno scoffs in faux disbelief even as his eyes fold into half moons. Jess allows herself a small grin at the expense of their younger selves as well. They both know better than anyone that shared traumas can only make bonds stronger. “When’ll you tell your prissy, pompous, prick of a partner that you’re one of the lowlifes he hates so much?”
“He already knows that I wasn’t… well off before I got my job at the salon,” Jess replies carefully, doing her best not to incriminate her boyfriend in the eyes of someone who already loathes him. “Besides, he honestly isn’t that bad. He says shit sometimes, yeah, but he knocks it off if I tell him to. Shouldn’t affect whether or not you talk to (Name), anyways.”
Jess slips you into the conversation so easily that it almost gives Jeno whiplash trying to process what she’s said. When he’s done, it’s all he can do but to let out a confused query.
“The hell does (Name) have to do with this?”
“I mean, you’re the same age, and you kind of know each other. I just figured that...”
Suddenly, Jess’ motives dawn on Jeno. Judging by the way she trails off, ending her sentence both sheepishly and abruptly, she sees that he’s figured her out, too.
“Are you fucking trying to set me up with your scummy boyfriend’s sister?”
“He isn’t scummy! And, I mean, not necessarily. Maybe. Just a little, but come on! Isn’t it right for me to want two people I love and care for to find love and caring in each other?” Jess’ words come out harried, and she flaps her arms around a bit to try and prove the point she just can’t seem to hit on. Jeno’s brows furrow even more, and he can’t help his incredulous snicker.
“You, Miss ‘I just got fingered by a childhood friend in my boyfriend’s car for what has to be, like, the sixth time in four weeks’, want to talk about what’s right and what’s not?” Jeno points out, and Jess winces slightly. He knows it’s a bit of a low blow - yes, Jess is a cheater, and it’s completely terrible of her, and maybe even Johnny Suh deserves better than someone who’s unfaithful, but if Jess is the one committing the crime then Jeno’s aiding and abetting. He can see the hurt flash across his friend’s features, and he allows himself to soften for a moment before speaking again. “I’m sure (Name) is nice and all, but I’m not looking for a relationship right now. If I was, I wouldn’t be messing around with you, or anyone for that matter.”
Jess sighs, but it’s a sigh of acceptance. She glances down wistfully at the smushed cigarette she’d abandoned earlier, making no move to get another one. Jeno assumes she’s trying to cut back - the cost of a pack has gone up again. 
“I do love him, you know that, right?” Jess says, voice soft and sincere in a way that has Jeno’s eyes flicking up to meet her own. “I just - I can’t give all of myself to him, you know? Not yet, anyways. Not after everything that’s happened in my life. It isn’t justification, it’s just…”
“You’ve been dealt so many bad hands that you don’t know how to play poker anymore,” Jeno finishes, smiling gently at his friend. “Yeah, I get it. I’m just your pain relief, remember? You don’t have to explain yourself to me. Fuck first, friends later.”
“Pretty sure it’s the other way around,” Jess rolls her eyes, though she knows he’s just messing with her. They might use each other, but their friendship predates any sexual relationships either of them have been having with anyone. They both know that Jess doesn’t just drop by the garage to drop her panties, although that is what happens first and foremost every time. 
Before Jeno can quip back at her, the telltale thrum of a car’s engine draws his attention away from his friend. Both of them turn their heads simultaneously to see none other than Yuta Nakamoto pull up in his Thunderbird, Johnny Suh riding shotgun beside him. Jeno doesn’t miss the way Jess perks up, her grin dazzling as she spots her boyfriend. He can’t say the same for himself, not when his stomach drops at the sight of the two men. 
Yuta at least has the ‘decency’ to shoot Jeno a patronizing smirk. Johnny doesn’t even acknowledge the man beside his girlfriend, instead turning directly to appraise his fixed up car after giving Jess a quick peck on the cheek. 
“Funny,” Johnny remarks thoughtfully once he’s done with his once-over. “Are you sure you fixed this? It doesn’t reek of grease or anything. Maybe you underdid your hair today, kid, hmm?” 
Jeno’s suddenly hyper-aware of how slicked back his pitch black hair is, and his fingers twitch at how badly he wants to push it back again, both out of nervousness and anger. He says nothing, only clenching his jaw in response.
“Leave him be, John,” Jess speaks up, holding her hand out for her boyfriend to take. He grabs it naturally. “He’s a good kid.”
Johnny’s cocky, holier-than-thou grin slips a little at seeing his girl - his girl - defend someone he equates to the bottom of his shoe, and Jeno notices it. For a moment, it seems like there’s a rebuttal sitting on the tip of his tongue. His necessity to keep his girlfriend’s approval wins him over, though, and Johnny says nothing more, only asking Jess to hand him the key he knows she has. 
Yuta leaves first, though not before confirming their next whereabouts with Johnny. He slides back into the drivers’ seat of his Thunderbird, raises his eyebrow at Jeno through the windshield, and backs out slowly but surely. Jeno isn’t a big fan of Yuta, either, but at least the man respects his car.
The same can’t be said for Johnny. 
He slams the passengers’ side door shut once Jess gets in, and Jeno can’t help the wince he gives at the noise. In that moment, he feels deeply for the Bel Air, wishing he could jailbreak it from the hell it must be experiencing at the Suh household. Right before Johnny gets into the driver’s seat, he stops, eyes flitting towards Jeno as he digs something out of his pockets. 
Jeno watches as Johnny flicks a dime into the open tip jar they leave out on a rickety old stool, stands there and takes it as the older man shoots him the kind of wolffish grin that never reaches anyone’s eyes. 
“Buy yourself something nice,” Johnny says, smirking as he looks Jeno up and down. He takes in the peeling leather on the greaser’s workboots, the grease stains on his blue jeans, the way his white tank top is soaked through with sweat, his ratty leather jacket lying across his workbench. When he looks back up, eyes meeting Jeno’s, the latter can’t help but feel as if he’s just been searched.
“At least… if you even know what ‘nice’ means.” Johnny finally finishes, smirking maddeningly at Jeno. Before any rebuttal can be made, Johnny’s inside his car and turning on the ignition. Jess waves goodbye to Jeno, albeit sheepishly, who only raises a hand in parting. It’s only after they’ve disappeared, tearing down Central Street, that Jeno registers Jaemin leaning against the corner of the garage. It’s evident by the way his friend is standing that he hadn’t actually witnessed anything, and Jeno finds that he wants to keep his interactions to himself today. It’s also evident that, while Jeno has nothing to tell Jaemin, the opposite does not stand true.
“What’s up?” Jeno asks, picking up and tossing the Camels at Jaemin on what is, by this point, sheer muscle memory. He throws the lighter right after, and Jaemin catches them both with ease. This is unsurprising - before school, life, and work all became too hard to balance, Jaemin had been a catcher on the local high school baseball team. 
“There’s a new broad behind the counter at Kim’s,” Jaemin says, sticking the cigarette in his mouth and lighting it as he speaks, all with the kind of finesse that only comes from years of doing the same thing. “Looks familiar, ’m sure I’ve seen her before - pro’ly went to school together. Damn pretty, looks more your type than mine, though.”
Jeno doesn’t really care, frankly, but it’s Jaemin and he’ll always humor Jaemin. That, and they’ve got about an hour ‘til the next person with an appointment comes in, so he’s got some time to kill. 
“You wouldn’t know if you went to school with her, considering you only ever fuckin’ showed up to play ball. I don’t think I ever saw you in class.” Jeno scoffs, though he knows he should probably keep speaking when Jaemin throws him a scathing glare. “How can you be so sure that she’s my type?”
Jaemin takes the cigarette out of his mouth, waving it around aimlessly as he finally walks over to his own workbench, right beside Jeno’s. He’s got a couple of chairs beside it, and he shoves one towards Jeno before sitting down himself. Jeno, for his part, swings his chair around so he can sit down backwards as he faces Jaemin, folding his arms over the back of it and resting his chin on top of his forearm. Once they’re both situated, Jaemin finally speaks again.
“Pretty, but doesn’t remind me of any of the greaser girls or the rich girls, somehow. Guess she doesn’t fit in that way. Smart, either talks animatedly or doesn’t say shit at all. Seemed all bright-eyed but with sum’n dark behind them. Mysterious, just a bit. Paint a good enough picture for you, asshole?” Jaemin good-naturedly flicks some ash towards his friend, drawing forth a chuckle from the other man. 
“Sounds like you’re describin’ a book character,” Jeno throws back, causing Jaemin to roll his eyes even as he’s genuinely smiling. “Been spending too much time with Mark.”
“Maybe so,” Jaemin acquiesces, leaning forward in his chair to look Jeno in the eyes. He turns his head to the side, blowing smoke out through his lips before looking back. “Doesn’t change the fact that she’s good for you. Really, I think you two could hit it off. Even got her number for you.”
“You’re that desperate to pawn me off, huh?” Jeno raises an eyebrow, though he holds out his hand for Jaemin to drop a slightly-crumpled napkin into. He might not go for whatever girl it is romantically, but it might be good to go on a date or two just to keep himself from getting too rusty with the girls. That, and he has to admit that sitting at home, tinkering with the house’s clocks or yelling at Donghyuck not to use up all the hot water for the week is less appealing than having a nice night out (or a nice night in, depending on the girl). He supposes he’s mildly optimistic as he unfolds the napkin, even allowing himself a small grin at the idea of doing something outside of his ordinary, everyday, work to home to work to home life.
Jeno’s smile fades fast once he sees what’s scrawled messily on the napkin in black ink. 
(Name) Suh
XXX-XXX-XXXX ;)
He blinks once, blinks twice, before letting out a groan and allowing his head to drop onto the wood of the chair’s back. Jaemin, concerned, asks if he’s alright, but Jeno just ignores him, too busy wallowing in the cosmic irony of his best friend giving him the number of the one girl he would never get with. 
“Is this about the chick or is it something else? I saw Johnny Suh pull out of here, that motherfucker. If he wasn’t giving us so much business all the time I would’ve TP’ed his house by now. Is it him? Don’t let him get to you-”
“Jaemin,” Jeno interrupts his best friend, finally looking up from his reprieve in the chair. Jaemin quits rambling almost immediately, his gaze running over Jeno’s unreadable expression. Jeno looks down at the note, up at Jaemin, and then back down at your handwriting again before letting out a weighty, long-suffering sigh.
“Jaemin,” Jeno repeats himself, finally making eye contact with his friend. “We need to have a talk.”
♕ ♕ ♕
“You saw that her last name is Suh and you didn’t stop to think that she might be related to Johnny fucking Suh? Really? I know you’re dense, Jaemin, but for Chrissakes!” 
Renjun’s voice rings through the small, two bedroom house as he chastises Jaemin while the two of them cook dinner. Jeno’s sitting on the floor in the living room, fiddling with Donghyuck’s radio: he’s been meaning to fix it for weeks, now, but it’s only today that he’s really found the time. That, and he’s trying to avoid the ongoing argument that’s occurring while two of his friends are making meatloaf. He knows that he’s the reason for it, yes, but that doesn’t mean that he wants to be involved. 
It isn’t Jaemin’s fault, really, and Jeno knows this. He can’t stay mad at his best friend in general, but he’s doubly inclined to let Jaemin off the hook because the younger boy has no clue as to why Johnny Suh is so universally hated in the Lee household. Jaemin doesn’t even live with them like Renjun does, so he’s blissfully unaware of exactly how marred the relationship between Jeno and Johnny is. 
“I’m home, you fucks!” The front door swings open with abandon just as Jeno finishes straightening the radio’s antenna, and he winces at the screech of the door’s protesting hinges. He’s so startled that he almost drops the radio itself, but he manages to catch it in time. This is lucky - Donghyuck saunters into the living room at the right moment, seeing Jeno both fumble and save his precious radio. Jeno pretends like he doesn’t see the glare his cousin throws at him, instead waving in greeting to him before beckoning him over.
“They’re going at it in the kitchen,” Jeno says lowly once Donghyuck’s close enough to hear him. “I wouldn’t go in there just yet.”
Donghyuck mulls this information over in his mind for a moment before raising a single, perfect eyebrow. He snatches his radio from his cousin’s lap, securing it in his grip, and sits down beside Jeno before he chooses to respond.
“And what if I want to cause problems on purpose?”
“Didn’t you have a full day of doing that at work today?” Jeno asks rhetorically, causing Hyuck to roll his eyes over-exaggeratedly. 
“Which job?” He throws back, and Jeno can’t help but laugh. Donghyuck cracks a smile, too, though neither of them know why: it isn’t funny, especially not when Hyuck is speaking truth. He’s worked two jobs since dropping out of high school alongside Jeno a year prior - one close to the rich side of town in a quaint bookstore frequented by nearby college students, and one as a local plumbers’ assistant. None of the boys ever know where he’s at, which is concerning to all of them but something nobody bothers bringing up with Hyuck. 
Judging by the fact that he’s wearing jeans and a shirt that’s had the sleeves ripped off, Jeno feels as if it’s safe to say that Hyuck’s just gotten home from being under sinks and in cisterns. By this time, he typically would’ve washed the oil out of his hair and changed into his sleeping clothes. Jeno’s heart twinges at the idea that his cousin might have to go back out to work after eating.
“You gettin’ some sleep tonight?” Jeno’s query is soft-spoken, and Donghyuck can’t help but give him a sad smile before he slowly shakes his head no.
“On house call duty until 5 in the morning. I’ll be home to nap, have some eggs, and then get to the store, though. Maybe we’ll see each other then, brother.”
“Yeah, maybe.” Jeno sighs in a way that says he knows they won’t, and Donghyuck hits his shoulder with his own. They sit like that, in silence, listening to Renjun and Jaemin bicker for a few moments, wallowing in the harsher truths of their lives for a few short moments before Donghyuck, never one comfortable with the quiet, breaks it to ask the obvious question.
“What’s up with those two?” He tilts his head towards the kitchen, and Jeno sighs before dropping his head down and pressing the palms of his hands into his eyes.
“Jaemin wingman-ed me to one of the new hires at Kim’s.”
“That’s not so bad,” Donghyuck says, furrowing his brow at Jeno. “I mean, you’re a manwhore. Figured that isn’t something you’d particularly mind.”
“Shut up,” Jeno scowls, much to Hyuck’s amusement. “And that’s the pot calling the kettle black. It isn’t the act, it’s the victim.”
“The vic- the girl?” Donghyuck’s voice is incredulous now, and Jeno all but groans as he shakes his head in disagreement.
“No - I mean, maybe, considering it’s Jaemin she was talking to - but no, fuck. I meant me, I’m the victim.”
“And why is that?”
“Because the girl is - he got me (Name) Suh’s number, damn it. Of all the girls he could’ve talked to about me, it was her.”
Donghyuck’s teeth clench immediately at hearing the unholy last name, and the air leaving his mouth between his lips makes an odd, hissing noise. His grip on his radio tightens, the pads of his fingers whitening. It’s a beat, two beats, before Hyuck lets up on the thing he has in his hands, sighing with mild dejection.
“Jaemin only moved here right before high school,” Donghyuck rationalizes, though the darkness behind his pupils lets Jeno know that he isn’t happy about being reasonable. “And we never really talk about the thing with Doyoung. I guess he either didn’t register that they’re related or he thinks our hatred is only over the class bullshit Johnny pushes on us whenever he sees us. I’m surprised you never told him the whole story, though - you two are as close as brothers.”
“What, you jealous?” Jeno teases on instinct, mainly aiming his witticism at the last phrase Hyuck had uttered. His cousin rolls his eyes once again, nudges his shoulder once again. Jeno grins, dropping his gaze to his hands. 
“It isn’t that I wanted to keep it from Jaemin - it just never came up. He hates Johnny, too, but it isn’t in the same way as us. I guess I’ll explain it tonight - we’ve got an early shift at the garage tomorrow, as it is.” 
“Let me guess,” Donghyuck sighs. “You start at 5?”
“Damn straight.” Jeno smiles sadly. “We aren’t kids anymore, Hyuckie, are we?”
“No sir,” Donghyuck smiles back, running a thumb over the radio’s buttons. “But goddamn, does adulthood suck when you don’t even have time to be with your family. Speaking of, where’s that idiot older brother of mine?”
“I heard that, you asshat!” Jeno looks up just in time to see Mark box Donghyuck’s ears, albeit as gently as possible. Still, the youngest Lee winces in pain, whining at the sudden attack. 
“Speak of the devil and he shall appear,” Jeno notes, grinning up at his older cousin. “Didn’t hear you come in. How much did you hear?”
“Came in through the back. If you’re talking about whatever is happening in the kitchen, then nothing. If you’re talking about your explanation of whatever is happening in the kitchen, then everything. You two are not observant in any way, shape, or form - I’ve been here for a couple of minutes. I agree, by the way - you should tell Jaemin about it.”
“Tell Jaemin about what?”
Jeno, Donghyuck, and Mark all turn their heads simultaneously to see Jaemin and Renjun walk in, the former balancing the meatloaf on a tray and the latter holding a stack of plates, knives, and forks. Mark, who’s already standing anyways, leans over, grabbing some of the cutlery to ease up Renjun’s load. Jaemin sets the tray down on the floor after kicking aside the tools Jeno’d been using on the radio, and once he straightens up, he looks down at his best friend expectantly. 
Jeno meets Jaemin’s gaze, takes note of the annoyance that’s still etched across Renjun’s features, and sighs. He runs a hand down his face before looking up again, this time meeting everyone’s eyes individually. Finally, he asks what he thinks is most important of all before starting on his spiel.
“When are the kids getting here?”
♕ ♕ ♕
Chenle and Jisung have to convince their respective parents that, yes, they have in fact completed all of their homework and studied for all their upcoming tests, before they’re allowed to head over to the Lees’ house for dinner. Both boys - the only two still left in high school, both juniors - come over in no time at all, seeing as they live in the houses on either side of Jeno’s. 
“Why the fuck are we having family dinner?” Chenle asks, voice booming as he walks in without any prior announcement. Jisung, who’s trailing right behind him, quietly shuts and locks the door.
“Jaemin fucked up,” Renjun says, right at the same time as Mark responds with a “Because I said so.”   Jisung and Chenle share a look - each with an eyebrow raised in confusion and mild anticipation - before sitting down, Jisung on the right of Jaemin and Chenle right beside Hyuck. Jaemin immediately ruffles the youngest boy’s hair, pairing it with a ‘You’re doin’ good in school, right? Good with all those books ‘n’ shit?’, to which Jisung, as always, nods while trying to dodge Jaemin’s next loving attack. Out of the seven men and boys currently having dinner in the house, only Mark and Renjun have their high school diplomas.
Jeno was so close to living a different life. He does his best not to think about what could have been. Instead, he starts talking, commanding everyone’s attention in the way only he can. 
“We think it’s… time we talked about Doyoung.” Jeno lets the words settle, resting against their skin before seeping into their bones. He sees Chenle visibly shudder, Donghyuck resting a soothing palm against his younger friend’s upper back. Renjun lets out a heavy sigh, and Jisung bites at the inside of his cheek to keep himself from making the sad, choked noise he certainly was about to let out. 
Jaemin, for his part, says nothing, only waiting patiently in a way that’s become his signature. Jeno thinks there’s nobody in the world more caring than Jaemin, sometimes, and his best friend never ceases to prove him right. 
“Doyoung’s my older brother’s best friend - you remember Taeyong, right? Yeah, he’s Taeyong’s best friend.” Mark explains, looking straight at Jaemin once everyone seems to have recovered from the mild shock. It’s understandable, of course - they never talk about Doyoung. It’s been years, and not once has The Incident come up. 
There’s always a time for everything, Jeno supposes. 
“Does this have anything to do with why Taeyong’s in jail?” Jaemin’s question is tentative at best, but Jeno can see that he’s just piecing things together in his mind. All six of the other boys nods simultaneously, murmuring affirmative answers as they do. 
“About five years ago, Johnny, Taeyong, Doyoung, and, uh… what’s his name? Nakamoto, or whatever, him... The four of them were fucking inseparable, did everything together. Johnny’s parents are known classists and elitists and whatever other -ists exist, but Johnny never seemed to be that way. Doesn’t matter, anyways. Rich kids are all the same in the end.” Donghyuck speaks this time, shedding more light as the story unfolds. The bitterness in his voice is highly evident, but nobody can blame him - they all know what it’s like to be ridiculed, pariahed because of poverty. All seven of them had forsaken the idea of trust ages ago.
“One night, Johnny and Yuta went out and got halfway to blind drunk at some bar they weren’t supposed to be at. Yuta at least went and decided to walk home instead of driving his car back, but Johnny didn’t give a fuck. ‘Course, he hit something almost immediately after getting in the damn thing, but he was too fuckin’ pussy to check and see what had happened.” Renjun tacks on after Donghyuck, adding on the next part of the infamous, unfortunate tale. Chenle is the next to speak. 
“He was near a phone booth, so he called Doyoung to come help him. Doyoung and Taeyong both hurried to help their friend, figuring he must’ve gotten hurt, only to find that he’d- he’d…”
“That he’d hit and killed the son of the mayor at the time,” Hyuck finishes, noticing how Chenle hesitates to go on. “Johnny had called the cops right after calling Doyoung, and the pigs got there not a minute or two after my - Mark and my - brother and Doyoung did. They immediately assumed one of them had been driving, and then assumed that the car had been stolen from Johnny rather than being Johnny’s itself. Fucking Suh never clarified, only stood by while his friends got hauled off. They knocked my big brother on Grand Theft Auto. Seven years for a crime he didn’t fucking commit. Still, at least we get to visit him every week.”
“They took in Doyoung in on manslaughter - not even vehicular manslaughter. He pleaded guilty to it because he knew they’d charge Taeyong with it if he didn’t, and Taeyong was looking after the rest of us - Renjun included - at the time. We don’t have any fucking parents, and Doyoung knew it. He’s already done five years, but he’s spending the next decade of his life in a federal super max, and we aren’t allowed to see him. Poor thing - Taeyong ended up getting jailed, too. Doyoung couldn’t’ve have known. Don’t know if he knows now, even.” Jeno finishes the story, voice quivering with rage and the few unshed tears that always accompany his thoughts about the huge miscarriage of justice his family and friends have faced. Taeyong’s room is still the same as it was five years prior, untouched. 
“Johnny was a witness in both cases, and he took the stand against them, saying they really did do what the cops said they did,” Jisung finishes, voice soft but emotionally charged. “My mom and Chenle’s mom stepped in as best they could to take care of Mark, Renjun, Jeno, and Hyuck afterwards until Mark got grown, but I just know it isn’t the same as Taeyong.”
“Your moms are angels,” Mark responds, smiling kindly at the two youngest members of their ragtag group. “They saved our lives. Of course, they wouldn’t have had to do so if…”
“If Johnny Suh hadn’t ruined them first.” Jeno completes the thought, Donghyuck and Renjun nodding in agreement. Jaemin says nothing, only looking each of them in the eyes earnestly. 
He gets it, Jeno decides. The rest of them must see this as well. 
After dinner, when Jeno goes to the bathroom to brush before sleeping, he finds a thoroughly sodden piece of paper stuck to the bottom of the basin. It takes him a moment to realize what it is - the sharpie has bled into one large blob. Jeno smiles to himself before getting to work cleaning it up.
He scrapes your phone number off of his sink with his bare nails and sleeps easier that night than he has in a long while. 
♕ ♕ ♕
Day Two: May 26, 1957
Jeno’s always been good with time. It’s a gift, though it’s rare he acknowledges it: being able to more-or-less accurately tell the time without ever looking at a clock is hardly the kind of superpower people dream about. 
You leave work at around 3 p.m. - Jeno knows this because he’s out in front of the garage, sat on the hood of Jaemin’s rusty pickup truck nursing a ham sandwich when you walk out of Kim’s, unbuttoning your uniform’s top few buttons as you find your brother’s waiting car. He’s too far away to hear the words you exchange with Johnny, but he watches as you glare into the Chevy for an excruciatingly long amount of time before heaving a sigh and re-buttoning your shirt. 
Jeno doesn’t watch as the two of you drive away, but he doesn’t have to. Johnny always drives like he deserves more respect on the road than his car does, and it boils the younger man’s blood more than anything. After all, Jeno’s always been able to count on machines. People? Not so much. Cars respect him, so he respects them. 
He finishes the sandwich, immediately replacing it with an unlit cigarette. ‘Oral fixation’, Donghyuck had smirked at him one night ages ago, only to have gotten a shoe thrown at him by Renjun. Jeno can’t say that his cousin is wrong, but he’ll die before he lets Hyuck know that. He thinks back to the morning, when he’d left to come to work. He’d only seen Jaemin and nobody else, and that was just because Jaemin had been his ride. 
Speaking of Jaemin- he’d been right: you’re pretty. You’ve always been pretty, but Jeno tries to ignore it. Nobody related to the scum of the Earth Johnny Suh himself can be beautiful both inside and out - he’s never been more sure of anything. Such a thought process might be unfair, sure, but he reckons it’s better that he avoid you altogether rather than get caught up like his family members had. That’s how life goes: you hunt or get hunted. 
Jeno will be damned if he ever finds himself being the prey again. 
Jess drops by at around 4:15, no necessity behind her visit. They don’t do anything, not this time, though Jeno does have to force himself to stop imagining her lipstick leaving marks in places the sun can’t see, his fingers leaving bruises along her skin. Jaemin raises an eyebrow when he sees them talking, though he doesn’t say anything, only tossing Jess his pack of Camels. It’s only got one cig left in it, so Jeno lights it and puts it to her lips. She blows out a ring of smoke before he takes a drag from it himself, his fourth smoke of the day.
“You should apply for a dealership job or something,” Jess says at around 4:30, and Jeno’s now hyper-aware of her reason for visiting. He scoffs, handing the cigarette back to her for good. It’s suddenly the most unappetizing thing in the world. She notices his expression, but slogs on anyways, hoping that she’ll get through to him. “I’m serious! You’re smart, Jen, real smart. You could do worse than sellin’ cars to crackpots in suits. You’d make more cash, too.” 
Her drawl only comes back to her when she’s talking to her childhood friends, and Jeno supposes it’s an unwitting act of classism. They don’t ‘speak good’, as Jaemin would teasingly put it, but they have heart. It’s something that’s hard to find in people who have more money. Jess has grown up like them, yes, but in some ways she’s no longer part of the world Jeno’s forced to live in. It’s a world where he’s got family and friends in jail, where his own brothers - he almost never calls them his cousins, because they’re brothers if he’s ever had any - have to work two jobs just to make sure all of them get by, where their friends have to do the same. Jess has a stable job now - kudos to her - and a rich boyfriend. She’s set for as long as she can hope to be.
She’s okay with doing up the hair of ladies who sit idly and gossip about the ‘filthy poors’ in the south side of town. Jeno can hardly look rich folks in the eyes without gritting his teeth into dust. He’s well aware that they are not the same. 
“Why this sudden interest in my career?” Regardless, he only questions her coolly, unwilling to start an argument that won’t find an end any time soon. There’s no telling when a car will come in and Jess will have to leave so the boys can do their work, and, besides, this isn’t a discussion he wants to have. Not with Jess. Not with anyone. 
He’d been so, so close to going to college with a full ride. Jeno had dreams once. He’d been a fool to even think of possessing such intangible commodities. He doesn’t have any anymore.
“I just… you’re brainy as hell. It’s a shame seeing you as a grease monkey when you could do more with your life, is all. I mean well, Jen, you know I do.” Her eyes are wide in earnestness, and Jeno can’t help but sigh. It’s not Jess’ fault he’s a realist, that he’s lost opportunities before. Before he can say anything in response, though, probably breaking her heart just a little bit in the process, Jaemin pipes in. 
“If I have to drop him off at a dealership everyday in the hunk o’ junk I drive while he’s dressed up in a three-piece suit, I’ll hang myself using a chain of grease rags. Besides,” He chuckles, tilting his head at his best friend. “Who’ll keep my sorry ass company here at the shop?”
A corner of Jeno’s mouth lifts up immediately at the save, and it’s all he can do to shrug and gesture towards his best friend in agreement. Jess rolls her eyes before darting her gaze between the two men, and once she realizes that she really won’t get anywhere with either of them, she only sighs and shakes her head, dropping the idea for good… for now. 
“That’s not the only reason you came here.” Jeno states, keeping an eye out for any potential customers. It’s a Sunday, though, so he doubts many people will come by. Church hasn’t been out for long - he knows this for sure because Mark never fails to attend, no matter how heavy his university course load gets and let alone how many hours during the week he’s had to work. He’s the only one currently pursuing a higher education, and Jeno thinks that he might be the only one tenacious enough to do so. 
It’s a shame - Jeno’d been real smart in school. So had Hyuck. They both know Mark beats himself up everyday for being the only one of the Lees who’ll get a Bachelor’s, but they both also know that he’s least likely to jeopardize his education. If anyone deserves college, it’s Mark. 
“How’d you guess?” Jess draws the mechanic out of his thoughts, and he blinks rapidly before orienting himself back in reality. His smirk returns - Jeno thinks he might use it as a facade too much at this point - and he can only laugh. 
“I didn’t - it was a shot in the dark. What’s up?” 
Jess opens her mouth to speak, but is cut off by Jaemin, who doesn’t realize she’s about to talk. Jeno’s best friend tosses him the beat up truck’s keys in a perfect arc, throwing him a well-meaning grin while he’s at it. 
“We won’t get much work today,” Jaemin states as Jeno catches the keys nimbly. “I’ll walk down to Church today, haven’t been in a while. Might be nice.”
“If you’re gonna go every three months at most, what’s the point of goin’ at all?” Jess asks, only mildly peeved at having been interrupted. Her grin is sunny, though, and Jaemin knows that she’s just teasing. A friend of Jeno’s is a friend of his; the vice versa also tends to ring true. 
“Unlike this one over here,” Jaemin jabs a thumb out towards Jeno. “I still believe. That, and I figured I’d walk Mark home. Don’t get to see him too often, y’know?”
“Hey- “ Jeno starts, stopping immediately as Jess waves him off with one hand. 
“Don’t mind him, he’s just disillusioned with everything he can’t see. Catholic Church included. Of course, whenever his grandparents are in town, he still pretends.” Jess explains sagely, much to Jaemin’s amusement and Jeno’s disgruntlement. The latter rolls his eyes, raising the hand enclosing the keys in a wave goodbye as Jaemin pushes himself off of the wall he’s leaning against. 
“Funny how Mark’s a Protestant and so is Hyuck - kind of, I don’t think he’s super religious at this point - but you’re a Catholic.” Jaemin notes, and Jeno shrugs for the second time in one day. 
“Mark & Hyuck’s dad was a Pastor, my dad converted to Catholicism for shits and giggles when he was, like, 15. They might be brothers, but they aren’t the same. I was never the religious disgrace of the family, though,” Jeno notes, a small, sadder smile replacing his grin momentarily. “Not after Taeyong said he’s an atheist. Anyways, Mark’s probably on his way home already, if you leave now you might be able to catch him.” 
Jaemin knows better than to press, only nodding, raising an eyebrow for a split second, and turning on his heel before easing himself into a jog. He’s still dressed in his work clothes, and his hair is as shaggy as ever, and Jeno thinks churchgoers might faint upon seeing him. He also knows that Jaemin doesn’t mind. 
“Now you,” Jeno looks at Jess once Jaemin is out of sight. “What’s up?”
Jess’ shoulders droop immediately, and for a moment she looks so forlorn that she doesn’t even look like herself. The expression passes as quickly as it had come into view, and Jeno accepts the nonchalant smile she gives him like it’s what she means to project outward.
“John’s been secretive lately.”
She says so much more with her eyes than she does with her mouth. Jeno sighs, tilting his head as he does to survey his friend for a moment. Jess is conflicted, that much is evident, and Jeno doesn’t quite know why. Nevertheless, he’s always made sure to keep his head out of other people’s business. He won’t change now. 
“If you’re worried that he’s cheating, why don’t you talk to him about it?” Jeno says it like it’s easy, like Jess isn’t unfaithful to her own boyfriend. His eyes dart out towards the street again - nobody’s coming in for repairs. Jess lets out a huff of air, and Jeno realizes she must think his words are sarcastic rather than as earnest as he’s meant them to be. 
“I’m being ridiculous, I know, it’s just- I just… I don’t know. It isn’t even that he’s acting super different, he’s just being more… conspiratorial? With his friends? It’s more of a feeling than anything else, I guess. I must sound fucking insane.” She runs her fingers through her hair, pushing it away from her face even as she casts her eyes towards the ground. She may be trying to reassure herself that she isn’t seeing things, but it’s called a sixth sense for a reason. 
“You have good intuition,” Jeno rushes to assure her that she isn’t losing her mind. “I hope you’re wrong, but… maybe you and your boy toy need to have a good talk. From both sides.”
“Yeah,” Jess responds, not knowing what else to say. “Yeah. I just had to say it out loud to someone that wasn’t my reflection, I think. I’ll figure it out. Anyways, I have a couple regulars dropping by at the salon today, so I should probably- ” 
“Go to work,” Jeno cuts in, his smile forgiving. Of what, neither of them are sure. “We have all the time in the world to talk. Bye, Jess.”
“Bye, Jen.” Is the response he gets, and then Jess is on her way. The day is silent again, now that Jaemin and Jess are both gone, but Jeno finds that he doesn’t really mind it. It’s not so bad- with no customers, no coworkers, and no friends around, Jeno gets to sit and think.
That’s what he does best. 
♕ ♕ ♕
It’s 6:27 in the evening when it happens.
For once in his life, Jeno checks his wristwatch. He isn’t sure why the sudden compulsion to actually know the time overcomes him, but he chalks it up to ‘dying from boredom’ and thinks nothing else of it. After all, the rags won’t clean themselves and the shop’s workbenches are only as neat as their owners. Jeno isn’t the most put together person alive, but he’d be lying if he said he doesn’t mind mess. 
So he cleans, even when he’s the only one who’s doing it. 
He’s in the midst of organizing his wrenches in size order when a familiar red Bel Air glides into the diner’s parking lot, top down with Johnny Suh’s loud laughter audible even from across the street. The music blaring from his car radio is only almost as loud as he is, and that’s saying something, because Johnny takes up every space he’s ever in. Yuta Nakamoto is beside him like he always is, though he’s more reserved than usual. Jeno does his best not to pay them any heed, but it’s difficult when his own responsibilities are mind-numbingly boring at the moment. He’ll take any entertainment he can get, even if it’s Johnny fucking Suh being the true neighborhood nuisance once again. 
Funny how people look at Jeno funny when he walks down streets minding his own business, but they don’t say jackshit about a Suh kid blasting Elvis in public right before dinner time. 
But that’s neither here nor there. 
Jeno actually manages to finish his tool-sorting and is getting ready to finally, finally pack up when the music stops. Johnny must’ve parked. The burgeoning night is eerily silent, and the young mechanic pauses what he’s doing - making sure he has everything, mostly - because the world seems like it’s holding its breath. Just as he’s about to relax, slump his shoulders, and get back to his own work, he hears it. 
Of course he hears it. It’s impossible to miss. 
The scream shatters the silence into a million pieces, startling Jeno so hard he almost drops Jaemin’s car keys. He’s rushing out of the garage before he can think, and it’s moments later that he sees none other than Johnny Suh and Yuta Nakamoto rushing out of the diner, stuffing what look like pistols into the waistbands of their jeans. There’s cold, hard cash grasped in each of their hands, and Jeno cannot, for the life of him, comprehend what he’s seeing.
He makes brief eye contact with Johnny Suh, and the recognition in the older’s narrowed eyes freezes Jeno’s blood. There’s no time to ponder this, though - not when Johnny pulls out and rushes away within seconds, his car roaring to life on the town’s streets. Jeno’s just witnessed a robbery - a robbery by one of the richest and most powerful people in the area. Jeno’s just witnessed a robbery, and the criminal himself is aware of this.
As he watches the owner of Kim’s run out, hands on his head in panic and disbelief, all Jeno can think about is how Johnny Suh is going to try to shut him up. Jeno is now the star witness to a criminal act. There’s no way he’ll sleep tonight.
He leaves City Motors with duller eyes than he ever has, his workstation spotless and mind swallowed in darkness. 
At least now he knows why Johnny’s been weird towards Jess lately. 
♕ ♕ ♕
Jaemin drops Mark off at the Lee household with a parting hug, clasping their hands together in a high five before pulling each other into their chests and clapping each other on the back. Each other. Jaemin might be the ‘newest’ addition to their band of seven, but he doesn’t feel any different from the rest of them. They’re his brothers, and he’ll always have their backs. They’ll always have his.
Mark invites him inside, but Jaemin declines - he’s out of chewing gum, of all things, and he knows the sketchy convenience store by the alley near 7th Street always sells at half price on Sundays. He bids the older man goodbye again, throwing him a lax two-finger salute and a small smirk before turning on his heels and jamming his hands into his jean pockets, a stance that does nothing to help his already awful posture. 
He whistles all the way down to the store - Kun’s Konvenience - mostly because he can’t get the tune Hyuck is always humming out of his head, but also because he feels almost truly happy. Sure, his future looks like it’ll lie in the City Motors garage for the rest of his life, and sure, maybe he shouldn’t step foot inside Church - the dirty looks had been telling today - but that doesn’t dampen his mood. The sun is shining, the sky is a brilliant blue. Kun’s is selling gum for cheap, and Jaemin’s in need of it. He rounds the final corner and the short, squat red brick building he’s looking for comes into view. 
His hand is closing in on the handle of the store’s front door when another, slightly larger, hand places itself on top of his. 
Jaemin barely has time to step back when a fist connects with his jaw. Through his swimming vision, he sees Johnny Suh raise a pistol, and he doesn’t have the time to raise his hands before the butt of the gun collides with the side of his head. The last thing Jaemin remembers before passing out entirely is the ugly, ugly sneer across the older man’s face as he glares down at him. 
“Sorry. Blame your meddling friend.” Johnny spits out, placing a well-aimed kick in Jaemin’s side as his finale. 
 ♕ ♕ ♕
It’s 8:32 at night when the landline rings. Mark’s studying and both Donghyuck and Renjun are out at work, so Jeno’s the only one available to pick up the phone. Typically, he’d be wary of doing so - the neighborhood elementary schoolers have only recently discovered the cheap thrills that come with prank calling - but something compels him to hear out whoever’s on the other end.
There’s a crackling noise, and what sound like hushed whispers, and this goes on for so long that Jeno’s about to either yell something about working on homework instead of pranking or just hang up without a word when the other person finally speaks. Jeno sets down the dish he’s washing, pays no mind to the way it clatters into the otherwise-empty sink when Johnny fucking Suh finally opens his damned mouth. 
“Caught an eyeful down at City Motors today, didn’t you?” He asks, casually, as if there are no underlying threats hiding beneath his overly honeyed words. As if he isn’t the one who’s committed a crime, as if Jeno’s the one with the gun and the money he never earned. Bile rises almost automatically in the younger man’s throat, but he can’t bring himself to put the phone down anymore. It’s as if he’s stuck. 
“What do you want?” Jeno manages to hiss out when the urge to vomit recedes, and the way Johnny chuckles in response sends chills down Jeno’s spine. There’s something sickeningly sinister about the situation they’re caught in, and Jeno knows that he’s unprepared for when the other shoe drops. His mind can’t even work properly, not when there are so many ways for this to go. 
“Police will be at your door tomorrow morning, looking to arrest the Kim’s robber. I’ll have given them a helpful tip by then, of course. Wouldn’t be good of me to know who it is and not let the local law enforcement know. Also… left you a present in the alleyway by that one convenience store your kind go to. Think it goes by the name of… Jaemin?”
Jeno’s blood runs cold at the mention of his best friend’s name. Johnny doesn’t stop speaking. 
“He was real easy to drag by his feet after I got him in the head, though getting rid of the trail of blood by the store was a little harder. I’m about half sure I left him breathing, but-”
The landline slips out of Jeno’s hand, no active effort made to put it down. Everything suddenly feels as if it’s in slow motion, as if his muscles are made of lead and his tongue is made of sandpaper, but he hears himself calling out for Mark before his own actions register in his mind. He must sound frantic, because he can hear his older cousin practically sprint down the stairs even through the haze his mind is in. Jaemin. Jaemin’s hurt. Jaemin’s bleeding, Jaemin’s in pain. 
“What? What the fuck happened- Who was on the phone- Jeno? What happened?” Mark’s voice is panicked enough, rushed enough, to shake Jeno out of his stupor. His anguish moves aside, making way for rightly placed rage as he meets his family member’s eyes. When he speaks, his voice is choked, barely restrained and yet so, so pained. 
“We need to go to Kun’s,” Jeno states, swallowing the growing lump in his throat. He can’t cry, not now, not when a clock might be ticking. He hasn’t cried in ages. He can’t cry now. Jaemin needs him. He can’t waste his time crying. “We need to go to Kun’s.” He repeats.
“It’s Jaemin.”
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vanilla-vivillon · 3 years ago
Note
"we're exes and we meet again" maybe?
Oooooooooh interesting!!! I decided to do a Genya Safin x David Kostyk one because I haven’t done that yet for some reason
Also college AU yes please.
Genya Safin knows what she wants
And what she wants is to get through her studies
Become a plastic surgeon
Support her friends
Maybe get a cat
What she doesn’t want is to meet her high school ex at a party
She doesn’t want to talk with him for hours
She doesn’t want to relive the hurt
But the universe never does care for what we want does it
“C’mon Nazyalensky it will be fun!” Nikolai was trying to convince Zoya to come to the party he was throwing in his dorm
Nikolai was throwing a party to celebrate the start of there third year at Stanford
“Nikolai there is a lot of studying we should be doing instead of drinking our cares away” Zoya shot back
“Genya, love, please knock some sense into Zoya?”
“It could be fun, plus the school year started two weeks ago. No profesor is going to assign a big test anytime soon” Genya said
“You have never met Proffesor Baghra” Zoya said Speeding up
They were all walking to the dormitories together
Zoya was studying law. She wants to be a lawyer
“Are you really gonna let some old hag with a stick up her ass ruin your fun?” Genya retorted stopping in front of them
After a long pause zoya finnally relents and says “Fine. I’ll go, but for you, that way your not stuck with Alina and Mals drama”
Ever since Alina started screwing the professor with the the dreamy dark eyes and looked far to good to ever be a professor, mal had been insufferable
Flashing his million dollar smile Nikolai turned towards Zoya “I knew you would see sense”
“Now leave my sight before I change my mind” Nikolai sped off towards his dorm no doubt to finish preparations for tonight
Genya typically enjoyed parties
Cool people, cool music, cool boys
The list went on
Reapplying her deep red lipstick Genya turned towards her roommate Alina
Alina Starkov was a foster kid bouncing around homes in a small town, Keramzin.
She and her friend Mal felt so out of place in California
Genya helped her a lot in the first year and after some drama in there second year friendship was finally back on track
“Okay how do I look?” Genya asked giving a little spin
She chose a short red dress with a black leather jacket and thigh high black boots
“You look Perfect” Alina complimented finishing up on her own eyeliner
“Of course I do”
Alina laughed that fluttery sound that had become far to rare these days
“Listen Alina, I’m worried about you”
Alina took a pause before answering “I’m fine Genya”
“Alina you’re sleeping with your professor”
“So what!” Alina snapped “We’re both adults! Besides I don’t want to talk about this tonight, let’s just go to the party”
Genya let out a sigh
Sometimes Alina could be the most stubborn woman on earth
“Fine”
Loud music was blaring through the speakers Nikolai borrowed from Mal
Genya was socializing with some of her friends
While Genya did like parties the constant people was always a little stressful for her
So after giving some dating advice Genya went to go grab some beer
Pouring it Genya reflected
She was doing well in her classes, most of her friends were okay, she personally didn’t have a cat but across the hall from her is some dude Harshaw who did
one thing was missing
Him
Journals and glasses and caramel candies
Genya had been in love once in her life
And it’s seemed once was all she would ever get
“Oh sorry!” Genya exclaimed accidently spilling beer on someone
Looking up she lost her breath
There he was
All brown hair and wide eyes and sunkissed skin
And all the memories came crashing back
Geny first fell in love with him in the sixth grade
Well not love really
More like awe.
Back then he was really into legos
He built this giant airplane that Genya thought was so cool
But they first talked in seventh grade
They were partners in a group project
David hadn’t been very interested in Genya then
But Genya even then loved the way his brain worked
But she never said anything
In there sophomore year of high school after years of being friends Genya finally got the courage and told him her feelings
David was so suprised then he had to leave the room and come back two minutes later to say he reciprocated her feelings
They started dating and were inseparable
Whenever David had been pulling an all nighter on some new idea she would go over to his house and bring him some Carmel candies
Whenever she raved on about this new surgery technique he would listen and give her that soft beautiful smile he rarely showed anyone
But there happiness came crashing down in senior year
David was going to go to MIT all the way in Massachusetts while Genya wanted to go to Stanford in California since she was a kid
At first they were going to do long distance
But it didn’t work out
They both got busy
And didn’t talk
And Genya hated having a boyfriend who was never there
There was never some big fight
Never some big cheating scandal
One day Genya posted a picture of her on a date with the cute classmate who winked at her and that was that
They never saw each other again
But that might change tonight where she met those impossible chocolate eyes again
“What are you doing here?” Genya said after her shock
“Genya, I…. I live here” David said stuttering
Clearly he was just as suprised as she was
“Hey Genya you meet my new roommate David!” Suddenly Nikolai appeared “He just transferred from MIT”
Transferred
He transferred
David Kostyk transferred to Stanford
The one who got away was standing right in front of her
“Do you two know each other?” Nikolai asked sensing the tension
Ignoring him, Genya said “would you like to talk outside?”
After knowing David for years Genya knew she should probably initiate conversation
David gave a slow nod ignoring his roommate’s bewildered face
Walking outside they turned to each other again
He had gotten cuter if that was even possible
“So…. You transferred?” Genya attempted to start talking
“MIT was great, but it felt kinda isolating. So when Nikolai suggested transferring… I took him up on the offer”
Oh
Oh
That made sense
David always had a hard time making friends
In high school Genya practically had to force him into her friend group
It mustve be hard all alone
Genya was the opposite
Although all through elementary school she was ruthlessly bullied and sophomore year of college was complicated, she had always been able to make friends
“Well I’m glad your here now” Genya said looking away to hide her blush
“I think I’m glad to”
David and Genya talked the whole night
About there studies and friends
Genya couldn’t way to introduce him to Alina
They had a lot in commmon
Things between the two weren’t perfect
But then again in matters of the heart it never was
Genya wasn’t sure of what she wanted
But if she had a Carmel loving genius by her side she might be able to be okay with that
Omg it’s finally done. This has to be one of the most difficult things I’ve written. I didn’t enjoy it at all but I’m really glad I went through with it. Thank you @ninamorozova and @confused-as-all-hell for encouraging me to complete this.
Thank you @wafflesandschemingfaces for the prompt
If yall really like this I might make a part two with David’s perspective
Please reblog. Likes are nice but te logs actually help
My ask box is open and I take any Grishaverse requests
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buriedinbaltimore · 5 years ago
Text
Imagine the foxes playing two truths and a lie...
The upperclassmen start playing it as a drinking game one night and Neil is intrigued. Andrew is also intrigued but doesn’t show it and refuses to play.
They are all already pretty tipsy, with Kevin, Matt, Nicky, and Aaron pretty much drunk.
Allison goes first, she has an amazing poker face and calmly says all three statements with no facial twitches or vocal cues. “my first car was a Toyota Camry (truth), my prom dress cost over $10k (lie), and I once made out with Miley Cyrus (truth)”
Renee, Neil, and Aaron guess right, Matt, Dan, Kevin, and Nicky have to drink.
Then it’s Matt’s turn and he is terrible, he starts snickering before he opens his mouth. “I’ve swam with sharks (truth)” he says, but he cannot control his face and it keeps contorting as he tries to maintain a neutral expression. He takes a deep breath to try and control his giggles, “my favorite flower is sunflowers (truth)” then he can’t hold it in anymore and starts hysterically laughing and chokes out, “My favorite city in the world is Newark, NJ (lie)”
Everyone gets it right and Matt has to drink.
Dan is next, she goes for the “one of these is so out there and crazy it can’t be a lie...or is it?” method.
((It is.))
“I’ve never shot a gun (truth), as a kid my favorite food was celery with ranch dressing (truth), and when I was 18 I won the lottery but the ticket was ruined and I couldn’t claim the money (lie)”
Aaron jumps in with “Obviously you never won the lottery, how would you even know if the ticket was destroyed”
Dan has her story ready. “When I first turned 18, I played the same numbers every week. It went on for a few months when my numbers were picked, but by that point playing was more of a habit than anything else and I wasn’t too careful with my tickets. I searched for it everywhere and found that I left it in my jeans pocket when I did my laundry.”
Allison asks what the numbers were, and Dan answers with no hesitation, which makes Allison tilt her head and stare into Dan’s eyes. Dan looks back without guile, totally relaxed.
Nicky is looking at her with his eyes wide and mouth slightly open and asks how much money she would have won
When Dan answers $53 million dollars Nicky gasps and Matt groans.
Neil, Renee, and Allison get it right, but everyone else falls for it.
When its Nicky turn he forgets to say a lie.
He is sitting there trying to come up with something for what feels like forever while every goads him for taking so long.
Finally, after waiting 5 minutes, Kevin says “I’m going because Nicky obviously can’t come up with anything” and Nicky jumps across Kevins lap and goes “No no no no no, I’ve got it!”
Without moving off Kevin he says “I’m allergic to shellfish, I died my hair green once, and I’ve read all the twilight books three times“ He moves back to his spot looking pleased with himself.
Everyone starts discussing theories until Andrew says in his bored, flat voice, “Nicky, those are all true”
Nicky starts to protest, thinks for a second, then just says “Fuck!” and takes a shot.
Kevin rolls his eyes so hard that his entire head rotates then says, while slightly slurring, “Okay, my turn! I’ve played a game of pick up basketball once (lie), I know all the lyrics to We Didn’t Start the Fire (truth), and I’ve traveled to over a dozen countries (truth).”
Matt starts hysterically laughing again, “You know all the lyrics to We Didn’t Start the Fire! oh my god Kevin you are such a nerd!” everyone else starts laughing at Kevin too.
“Maybe I do, maybe it’s the lie!”
“Everyone knows you’ve never played a sport besides Exy in your life Kevin” Dan says, “Will you sing it for us? Please, please, please!”
Allison, Nicky, and Matt join Dan in asking Kevin to sing. Renee even says, “It would be lovely to hear you sing it Kevin” to which Kevin blushes a little and answers, “Maybe later” and then takes his shot.
Aaron is drunk enough at this point to spill some truths he otherwise never would, and will wish for the rest of his life that he never had.
“When I was little, I wanted to be a figure skater when I grew up.(truth)”
Everyone goes completely silent and stares at him unsure whether to laugh or not but he doesn’t realize and continues
“The first time I got high I thought the squirrels in the tree wanted to adopt me as their squirrel king (truth), and I hate Taylor Swift (lie)”
No one says anything at first, and just when Aaron starts to realize something is up, Nicky says “Nah man, you LOVE T. Swift, you can’t deny it!”
They collectively make a silent agreement to ignore this new information about Aaron until he sobers up a bit and can either defend himself, or will be more fun to tease.
In the end, everyone but Renee guesses right, but she guessed wrong on purpose because she didn’t think that Aaron should be having any more to drink.
When it’s Renee’s turn, she smiles sweetly and says, ”I can juggle up to 7 balls (truth), I have never drank diet soda (lie), and I once had a pet turtle named Vincent (truth).”
No one is confident about which is the lie and it is the longest the foxes debate after anyones turn. It doesn’t help that Renee refuses to answer questions, and whenever someone tries to ask her anything she just smiles and shrugs.
It comes out to Neil and Aaron getting it right, while everyone else has to drink.
“How the fuck has it never come up that you’re a master juggler?” Allison asks angrily
“It wouldn’t be appropriate to do it at practice, and we’re not really around balls much otherwise.”
Everyone asks for a demonstration, “I will juggle later if Kevin will sing.”
Everyone looks at Kevin who sighs but says “Okay, fine!”
They all cheer then wait eagerly for Neil to go.
Neil sits quietly for a little while, not as long as Nicky, but long enough that Aaron says, “Come on this should be easy for you! You lied to us all for a year, what’s the problem, the truth?”
Neil shoots him a dirty look but doesn’t respond for a few more seconds then says,
“My mom and I once helped deliver a baby at a truck stop in Alberta, I’ve been bitten by a camel, and I can speak 7 languages”
Everyone just stares at him.
“Two of those things are true?” Matt finally asks
“Yeah.” Neil says, shrugging. Everyone is silent again.
Nicky turns to Andrew for help, but he refuses to say anything. His eyes are bright with interest though and he looks at Neil for a long time. Internally, he thinks the one about helping birth a baby has something off about it.
After much debate, Allison, Kevin, and Matt guess the baby, Renee, Dan, and Aaron guess the camel, and Nicky says the languages, “No one can know SEVEN languages!! I won’t believe it!”
They all turn to Neil expectantly and he says, “It was the first one, we were just outside Vancouver, in British Columbia, not Alberta.”
“But you, Neil Josten, have helped deliver a baby?” Allison asks incredulously.
“Technically I wasn’t Neil Josten yet…”
Everyone groans. Everyone takes a shot.
Cut to 15 minutes later, Renee is juggling an exy ball, some apples, and Matt’s phone while Kevin sings. Nicky tries to sing along with Kevin but definitely doesn’t know the right words, Aaron is watching Renee wide eyed, Dan and Matt are playing air guitar behind Kevin, and Allison is looking for more things for Renee to juggle. Neil and Andrew sit quietly on a desk holding cigarettes, observing their idiot friends.  
Stories Behind the Truths and Lies
Allison
My first car was a Toyota Camry (truth) - Allison’s parents wanted her to learn how to drive in a safe car that wouldn’t draw a lot of attention, so they got her a Camry. She only drove it for 3 weeks before demanding an upgrade.
My prom dress cost over $10k (lie) - This was almost true. She had ordered a custom Zac Posen dress but before it was finalized she made her decision to go to PSU and play Exy, and her mother canceled the order. She ended up wearing something she found in a vintage store that she altered herself. She ended up enjoying it a lot, which led to her decision to study fashion. (In my hc she played professional Exy for 3? seasons but was injured and then started her fashion line.)
I once made out with Miley Cyrus (truth) - While out clubbing one night she met Miley through mutual friends, they were attracted to each other, they made out. Miley asked for her number but Allison wasn’t looking for anything more than a hook up.
Matt
I’ve swam with sharks (truth) - He did this with his mom on a vacation and they both loved it. They also have a tradition where they watch at least one night of shark week together, or at least call each other to talk while they are both watching.
My favorite flower is sunflowers (truth) - No story lol I just think he would like sunflowers.
My favorite city in the world is Newark, NJ (lie) - I love thinking about New Yorker Matt. Raised on the Upper East Side, dad a top plastic surgeon, mom a public figure? Child grew up surrounded by serious privilege. HC that in fifth grade he made friends with a boy who was on scholarship at his school. Let’s call him… Metin. He lived in Queens? He took the subway? Matt goes to his house one day and it is 1/8th the size of his apartment and there are 9 people living there; Metin’s parents, two grandparents, his uncle, his two sisters, and his cousin. They all speak Turkish in the house and it’s loud and crowded but so full of life and love and Matt loves it. He and Metin grew apart when Matt started using, but before that they were best friends for years and explored the city together, Matt learning about and experiencing so much culture that for the first 9 years of his life he didn’t know existed. When Nicky wanted to go to Times Square for New Years Matt knew he had to be a good host and take them but inside he was DYING. I’m getting off track. No New Yorker could ever like Newark. I’m not convinced anybody could like Newark. It is indeed, very laughable.
Dan
I’ve never shot a gun (truth) - Dan hates guns and refuses to shoot one.
As a kid my favorite food was celery with ranch dressing (truth) - Idk I just thought this was cute. And also thinking about young Dan who didn’t have a lot of access to healthy foods getting celery sticks and ranch with her free school lunch and getting SO excited. Trading her cookie to a classmate for their celery.
When I was 18 I won the lottery but the ticket was ruined and I couldn’t claim the money (lie) - I like to think this is part true. After Dan turned 18 but before she was recruited for the Foxes, she played lotto a lot, always with the same numbers that she got from a fortune cookie that said, “Failure is not defeat until you stop trying.” She stopped playing once she signed with Wymack.
Nicky (all truths)
I’m allergic to shellfish - Mostly I love that Andrew knew all these things about Nicky, especially his allergy because he’s always looking out to make sure Nicky doesn’t eat something he can’t.
I died my hair green once - At first, when he took custody of the twins and started showing up for them at school at stuff, he hated the looks he got. He was a 19 year old kid who was supposed to be their guardian? Not to mention the way people eyed his skin and hair when he said he was family. One day he decided to dye his hair blond and he asked Andrew and Aaron to help, to try to bond. Aaron wanted nothing to do with it, but surprisingly, Andrew seem enthusiastic about the idea. He bought the dye and did everything for Nicky in the kitchen. When he was finally done roughly washing the dye out of Nicky’s hair, Nicky went to the bathroom to see how he looked and saw that Andrew had died his hair green. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh at the prank or cry because he foolishly thought he might be getting through to Andrew. When he went back to the kitchen, he tried to laugh it off and said maybe he should go to a salon to get the color right. Andrew told him he was stupid to try and change how he looked just because people were dumb enough to think that families needed to look alike. Besides, they weren’t a family anyway.  “Family” is a toxic excuse for things people put up with, a reason we accept the tragedies and inconveniences forced upon us. (Nora’s words) Nicky was upset, and dyed his hair back to his natural color once the roots started growing in, but he reaffirmed his commitment in that moment that he would show the twins what Erik had shown him, what a family could really be.
I’ve read all the twilight books three times - Nicky was a huge fan of twilight, even going to the midnight release party for the last book. He was disappointed in the movie adaptations but loved the casting and watched for the eye candy. He is loving the twilight renaissance especially the twilight is gay discourse.
Kevin
I’ve played a game of pick up basketball once (lie) - Kevin has never played a game of basketball, or soccer, or tennis, or baseball, or any other sport for that matter and can not understand why anyone would want to.
I know all the lyrics to We Didn’t Start the Fire (truth) - Kayleigh Day was a big music fan, she loved everything from classical to country, but one of her favorite artists was Billy Joel. After she died and Kevin moved into Evermore, he almost forgot about her music because the music at the Nest was all chosen for pragmatic reasons, like its BPM and ability to pump the players up. One day, when Kevin was around 15 years old, a rebellious Raven played his own music while training in the weight room. He and his partner were the only ones in there until Riko and Kevin showed up, and they turned it off as soon as they realized they had come in, but Kevin heard some of “Only the Good Die Young” and for the first time in a long time had a vivid memory of his mother. He asked the boys what had been playing, and Riko scoffed at the name Billy Joel. That night while Riko was sleeping, Kevin downloaded Billy Joel’s Greatest Hits and listened until he feel asleep, and he continued listening to it for weeks until he started remembering more of his mothers songs from his childhood. We Didn’t Start the Fire was one of his favorites because history.
I’ve traveled to over a dozen countries (truth) - Between travel through Europe with his mom while she spread Exy and professional appearances he made with Riko, Kevin is the most well traveled besides Neil.
Aaron
When I was little, I wanted to be a figure skater when I grew up. (truth) - When Aaron was around four or five, he watched the winter olympics on TV and fell in love with figure skating. Tilda never bothered to get him skating lessons, but one day, when Aaron was seven, there was an attempt to revive the Ice Capades. Aaron never thought he would get to go, but Tilda surprised him with tickets. It is one of the few really good memories he has of his mom.
The first time I got high I thought the squirrels in the tree wanted to adopt me as their squirrel king (truth) - I just imagine Aaron trying his mom’s drugs for the first time alone in the back yard, laying flat on his back looking up at a family of squirrels, saying, “I’m king of the squirrels!!!”
I hate Taylor Swift (lie) - Katelyn is a HUGE Taylor Swift fan. When they first started hanging out, Aaron didn’t really like her music but didn’t want to say anything. Eventually he started associating her with Katelyn though, and he loves watching Katelyn sign and dance so much that he now genuinely enjoys her music.
Renee
I can juggle up to 7 balls (truth) - Renee always had a natural juggling talent. She never really tried to learn, it was just always something she could do.
I have never drank diet soda (lie) - She does prefer non-diet soda, but she has tried diet before.
I once had a pet turtle named Vincent (truth) - Vincent was a gift from one of her mother’s boyfriends, the only one Renee ever remotely like. He was horrible to her mother, but had a soft spot for Renee and treated her kindly. They broke up after a couple of months, and he gave her Vincent as a parting gift. She had him until she got arrested, she couldn’t go back home to get him and when her mother went to prison he died.
Neil
My mom and I once helped deliver a baby at a truck stop in Alberta (lie) - This happened while Neil and his mom were on the way to Seattle. It was the middle of the night and they stopped to get gas a few hours out from Vancouver when they heard a woman screaming. There was nothing around for miles and only one other car in the lot that had been there when they pulled in. His mother immediately dropped the gas pump and Neil was already back in the car when the screaming stopped and his mother hesitated. Neil had never seen his mom hesitate with a potential threat around before, and he listened closely to try and understand why she stopped. All he heard was a woman panting harshly, but it sounded almost as though there was a rhythm to it. Mary signaled for him to get out of the car, and ordered him to grab some blankets, the first aid kit, and water bottles and follow her. They walked behind the locked public bathrooms, and found the woman squatting, with tears running down her face. Mary wasn’t very gentle or comforting, but she told the woman in a calm and confident voice that they were going to help. Neil didn’t do much, but he let the woman hold his hand and squeeze until he thought she would break it. He gave her sips of water between her contractions and did anything else his mother said. Once the baby was out, wrapped in a blanket, and in its mothers arms, Mary grabbed Neil and they left without another word to the woman. She stared after them, confused and grateful. Neil and his mother never spoke of it again.
I’ve been bitten by a camel (truth) - Neil and Mary spent a few days in Dubai to get some papers from a specialist there before traveling back to North America. The man did his business out of a racetrack where they held camel races. To get to his office, they had to travel through the back part of the track that the jockeys used to get the camels into position. Neil got too close to one of the camels and it bit his arm, luckily (or not), the jockey was in the middle of beating it and before it closed its mouth too tightly, landed a blow that caused the camel to immediately open its mouth again. Once he was freed, Neil was out of reach in a millisecond.
I can speak 7 languages (truth) - English, German, French, Russian, Hebrew, Czech, Greek. (To clarify he can speak 7 languages but he wouldn’t necessarily call himself fluent in all 7) We all know English, German, French, and Nora had a hc that Andrew and Neil learn Russian so they can talk to each other even with the cousins around which I love. Hebrew - In my hc Neil is jewish, as are Mary and Nathan. After running away, Mary didn’t know where to go once she had left her brother. She didn’t speak any other languages besides English, but she could understand Yiddish from hearing her grandparents and sometimes her parents speaking it growing up, and she could understand Polish from her time married to Nathan. She didn’t want to go to Poland in case any of Nathan’s contacts recognized her, so she decided to go to Israel. She knew there were communities there that spoke Yiddish and she was familiar if not comfortable with Hebrew from going to temple when she was younger. But most importantly she knew Nathan didn’t have any regular contacts there. While they were there, along with learning Hebrew, Mary pretended to be interested in converting to Greek Orthodox in order to get secret Greek lessons for her and Neil. After a while but sooner than she had hoped, Mary got a warning that Nathan had figured out where they were. She didn’t think it would be wise to go directly to Greece so she decided to move them to Prague next, since Czech and Polish are fairly similar and she really had no other ideas. While in Prague she continued her and Neil’s Greek lessons, and they went on to Greece eventually. Mary didn’t want them to lose any of the languages they learned, so she came up with a system that on certain days of the week they would speak to each other in certain languages. After Mary died, Neil pretty much gave up on Czech and Hebrew because he hadn’t been surrounded by them in so long and he hadn’t used either except with Mary since they moved from Prague or Israel. They had lived in Greece for longer than they had in Prague or Israel though, moving to a few different cities, so he felt stronger with Greek.
Fin. 
This is my first time writing anything fanfiction, my first time doing any creative writing at all really, and I would love any and all feedback!! Thanks for reading this long ass post, I hope it wasn’t terrible!!
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thedanceronthestreets · 4 years ago
Text
PEDRO PASCAL GQ GERMANY - OCTOBER 2020
Original text by Esma Annemon Dil
Fotos by Doug Inglish
Styling by Simon Robins
Translated by @thedanceronthestreets
Intro: A broken tooth could almost have been the reason for our meeting with Pedro Pascal to be cancelled - and with that our conversation about roots, his new movie and times of change. 
Interview: It is almost eery how empty the streets of Los Angeles are under the gleaming sun. While Europe is finding its "new normal", people in L. A. are cutting their own hair even without being neurotics. Many of them have not seen their friends in half a year. The pandemic is out of control. So are the reactions to the situation. Inviting someone to a "distance drink" in the backyard can lead to the same consternation as proposing a relationship partner exchange. 
All the more of a surprise was Pedro Pascal's immediate confirmation. To the drink, not the partner exchange. He is one of the winners this year - and if Corona had not forced the movie industry to go on a holiday, he probably would not have had the time for this drink. After "Game of Thrones", the series in which his head was squished, followed 2015 the leading role in "Narcos" as a DEA agent on the hunt for Pablo Escobar, and now the leap onto the big Hollywood screen. As of 1. October the Chilean will appear in the blockbuster "Wonder Woman 1984". Furthermore, the second season of the "Star Wars" series "The Mandalorian" will start in October with him as the main character - unfortunately underneath the helmet. But we all seem to be under the same helmet in 2020. It is this man we want to meet, who worked as a waiter in New York a couple of years ago. Whose parents are political refugees that settled in Texas, and one day their son decided to walk into a drama club in high school. 
And then the cancellation. While we were preparing the house and garden for Pedro's drink and fashion shoot, which isn't an easy task under L. A.'s restrictions, his management called in with terrible news: Pedro has - no, not Corona - had to receive emergency surgery due to a sore tooth and is now lying in bed with a swollen cheek, making talking or shooting impossible. The sun shines onto empty streets. And our empty garden. 
A few days later, he stands in front of the door anyway, no huge bulge in his face, but stitches in his gum. No limousine service that dropped him off, he arrived in his own car and picked up his makeup artist on the way. He helps her to carry in all the equipment and states first and foremost: "I've got time today!" What a star! It does not seem like we are about to ask him how he managed to become a Hollywood sensation, but rather him asking us that question. Pedro Pascal! So, what kind of star is he then? 
Pedro Pascal: Sorry for ruining your plans. The operation was a total emergency. 
GQ: Really? We were wondering whether the swelling was the result of a secret trip to the plastic surgeon. Apparently, because of the quarantine in Hollywood, their schedules are packed. 
Sorry to disappoint you. A few days before our appointment I raced to the hospital with a tooth fracture and the worst pain I've ever felt - a hospital where the severe Corona cases are treated. I was unable to contact any dentists! Right before I parked, a specialist called back. I'll spare you the details of the surgery, gruesome. The pain was excruciating despite the 10 anaesthetic shots. The doctor said I wasn't the only one going through this, a lot of people grind their teeth at night thanks to stress. 
What are you most afraid of at the moment? 
The way the government is handling the pandemic scares me more than the virus itself. The lack of intelligent crisis management is a moral disgrace. The leadership crisis makes orphans out of all of us - we're left to fend for ourselves. 
How have you spent the last few months? 
With frozen pizza in jogging trousers in Venice Beach. I live in a rear building that's in the garden belonging to a family. In reality there are enough good takeout restaurants around that area, but for some reason I like salami pizza from the supermarket. 
That doesn't exactly sound like the movie star lifestyle. What does it feel like to be forced from top speed to zero? 
Considering the things happening in this world, my own state really isn't the top priority. But I would have to lie, if I said I wasn't disappointed. The entire cast and crew of "Wonder Woman 1984" put so much heart and soul into the production. We had so much fun on set. I had hoped to carry this feeling of exuberance around the globe to the openings of this movie. 
You are part of a political, socialist family that fled the Pinochet regime in Chile. What do you remember from back then? 
My sister and I were born in Chile, but I was only nine months old when we claimed asylum in Denmark. From there, we moved to San Antonio in Texas, where my dad worked as a doctor in a hospital. 
Texas isn't exactly considered to be socialist utopia. How well did you settle in? 
San Antonio isn't a cowboy city but rather very diverse with large Asian, Afro-American and Latino communities. In my memory it's a romantic place, culturally inclusive. The cultural shock only hit when we moved to Orange County in California later. Suddenly, the environment was white, preppy and conservative. 
How were you welcomed in California? 
To this day I'm ashamed when I think about how I let my classmates call me Peter without correcting them. I'm Pedro. Even without growing up in Chile, the country and language are part of me. I was quite unhappy in that place. At least I was able to switch schools and visit one in Long Beach, where I felt more comfortable. With its theatre programme, I found my path. 
Could you visit your family's homeland as a child? 
Yes, after my parents ended up on a list of expats that were permitted to re-enter the country. First, there was a big family gathering, then me and my sister were parked at some relatives' place for a few months while my parents returned to Texas. They probably needed a break from us. They'd had us at a very young age, had a vibrant social life, and my mother was doing her doctorate in psychology. 
Was your mother a typical young psychologist that tested her knowledge at home? 
You mean whether I was her lab rat? Absolutely. I can remember weird sessions camouflaged as games, where someone would watch my reactions to different toys. Even though I couldn't have been older than 6, I knew what was happening. My favourite thing was to be asked about my dreams. That was always a great opportunity to make up fantastic stories. 
Was that your first performance? 
Definitely! My strong imagination alarmed my mother, because I'd rather live in my fantasy world than in real life. I didn't like school. I ended up in the "problematic kid" category. At some point the subjects got more interesting and my grades improved. So many children are unnecessarily diagnosed with learning disabilities without considering that school can be daunting. Why is it acceptable to be bored out of your mind in class, when there are more stimulating ways to convey knowledge?
With everything happening in the world this summer: Do you believe that social hierarchy structures are genuinely being reconsidered? 
Hopefully. After the lockdown my first contact with people was at the Black Lives Matter protest. The atmosphere was peaceful and hopeful until the police got involved and provoked violence. At least during these times we can't avoid problems or distract ourselves from them as easily as we usually do. It seems that the pandemic provided us with a new sense of clarity: we don't want to go on like this. 
The trailer of "Wonder Woman 1984" represents the optimism of the 80s. That almost makes one feel nostalgic nowadays. 
That holds true. It's two hours of happiness. Patty Jenkins, the director, managed to make a movie full of positive messages. We shot in Washington, D. C., then in London and Spain - which now sounds like a different time. 
Do you miss travelling? 
I've only now realised what a privilege it is to just pack up your things and fly anywhere. With an American passport you can travel freely. And that's why the small radius we live in now is kind of absurd. Over the last few years I often retreated in between takes, because I was always on the road and overstimulated. Friends complained about how comfortable I had become. We all took social interactions for granted and realise now how reliant we are on human connection. Now, I wistfully think about all the party and dinner invitations I declined in the past. 
In L. A., people spend more time indoors or in nature than in other metropolises. Could this city become your safe haven after New York City? 
My true home is my friends. Ever since I was young I've lived the life of a nomad and haven't set roots anywhere. Until recently, my physical home was a place for arriving and leaving and hence I didn't want to overcomplicate living by owning lots of things. The opposite actually: Without having read Marie Kondo's book, I got rid of all the stuff that was unnecessary and lived a very minimalistic lifestyle. 
Is there something you collect or could never say goodbye to? 
Books! I still own the literature I read during my teen and university years. Recently I found a box of old theatre scripts and materials back from my uni days at NYU. I can't separate from art either, same as lamps or old pictures. Furniture and clothes are no problem though, they can be chucked. 
Do you remember any roles that were defined by their costumes? 
Yes, "Game of Thrones" comes to mind immediately. During that time I first understood what it means, as an actor, to be supported by a look. I owe that to costume designer Michele Clapton. She developed these very feminine robes and brocade cloaks for my role that looked very masculine when I wore them. I felt sexy in them. And very important were of course Lindy Hemming's power suits and Jan Sewell's blond hair for the tycoon villain Maxwell Lord in "Wonder Woman 1984". Relating to the style, I couldn't really see myself in the role since the shapes and colours of the 80s don't really fit my body. My type is the 70s.
Do you adopt such inspirations into your private closet? 
At this point in time, I'll choose any comfortable outfit over a cool look. Sometimes I mourn the days when I defined myself with fashion. It's a bit mad when I think about how, in the 90s as a teenager, I would go to raves; a proper club kid with crazy outfits: overalls, chute trousers, soccer shirts and a top hat like in "The cat in the hat knows a lot about that!" by Dr Seuss. Later in NYC I was part of a group that placed immense value on wearing a certain style. The fact that I only walk around in joggers nowadays is actually unacceptable! 
Normally, actors who work on comic screen adaptations become bodybuilders and eat ten boiled chicken breasts per day. You don't? 
My body wouldn't be able to handle that. I find it difficult enough to maintain a minimum level of fitness. As of your mid 40s, you suddenly need a lot more discipline. Until the tooth incident happened, I worked out a couple of times a week with a trainer to keep the quarantine body in shape. 
What would annoy you the most, if you were your own roommate? 
I can be very bossy. I have to gather all my goodwill not to force my movie choice on to everyone else. When I want something, I'm not passive aggressive about it, I attack head on. Also, I can get caught up in tunnel vision: When i feel down, I can't imagine that I'm ever going to feel better again. I have difficulty with seeing the bigger picture when experiencing problems or emotions. Method acting really wouldn't be my thing. That's why I try to only work on projects that feel good and where people encourage and lift each other up. 
While you were trying on the outfits you pointed out a lack of self-esteem. How does that coincide with your career? 
Isn't it interesting how traits and circumstances go hand in hand? Self-esteem comes from the inside, but it's also influenced by what society believes. We use critical stares from the outside against ourselves. I lived in New York for 20 years, I studied there and worked as a waiter up until my mid 30s, because I couldn't live off acting. It was always so close. The disappointment of always just barely missing a perfect part or opportunity is exhausting. When is the right time to stop trying and what's plan b? That's not just a question actors ask themselves, but anybody who struggles to earn a livelihood - unrelated to how much potential they have or how close their dream may seem. We are beginning to see now how our narrow definition of success is destroying our communities. At the same time, it's becoming obvious that, until this day, your family background and skin colour determine your chances of living a dignified existence. 
What are the positives of becoming a leading man later in life? 
I have the feeling that I've got control over my life - without the pressure of having to accept projects or be a social media personality. That surely also has to do with the fact that I'm a man. Women are surely pressured to appear quirky at any age. 
Life is always a management of risks - especially at this time. For what would you risk losing something? 
Usually, if you don't play the game you're not going to win anything. That applies to friendship, love, work, creativity. Anything that really means something to me, is worth the risk. 
Wonder woman 1984 will appear in cinemas 01.10. The 800 million dollar earning DC comic franchise is moving into the New York 80s with its sequel. It looks spectacular - only Pedro Pascal with blond hair in a three piece Wall Street suit looks better.
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If you ever want to write a full account of your hospital stay, I'm so here for it. I want it all: the farts, the grannies, the fighting over windows, the other weirdos, why you want to murder the doctor and how your fam will help you get away with it, the works. Start writing while I grab the popcorn! 🍿
Ok, don’t remember what I have said here already, so I’ll give a full story plus some flashbacks from my childhood.
-I got 4 grannies in my room, the average age: 65+
-granny number one: ultra Catholic, made a cross on my forehead (I was so shocked, I didn’t say a shit, aside of screaming in my head – woman?! Covid restrictions?! Keep your distance?!), a farmer woman (one day she just said that when she wants a chicken soup, she goes outside, catches the chicken, chops the head and make a soup – the faces of the other grannies - PRICELESS), praying in weird moments, instead of sweat pants, wearing dress shirts and dress pants (and you know, we were doing physical exercises there???), loving dirty jokes and making them A LOT,
-granny number two – tiny old sweet lady (she was like 80 something years old?), usually sitting in the corner or on the balcony and praying silently, she was like Catholic kamikaze, she sometimes was sitting on the balcony and praying for FIVE HOURS, oh, and once shitted her pants
-granny number three – ex school director, Miss Ooooow, Ooooow, came with 2 suitcases and occupied ½ of the wardrobe (for example, I managed to put all my things in my night stand), was very surprised I came with so little clothes and was washing them, was crying when she had to wash her hair because she always goes to hairdresser…
-granny number four – on a wheelchair, my best pal, making her own cigarettes at evenings on the canteen (a place where the meals were served, close to the balcony), as much done with the other ladies as I was,
-our room were filled with weird Turkish soap operas (the first time they turned the television on some Mahmud wanted to kill some Bahar and the dialogues were so cringy I had to check if it was a real show and surprisingly it was). Every day after I was evacuating my ass to the canteen or to the balcony where I was reading (I’ve finished 19 books and my ass still hurts because of the fucking hard chairs).
-if it was not a Turkish soap opera, it was Polish News on the public channel (Imagine FOX news), so every fucking day when it was played, the traitors of Polishness and Polish tradition and the only good ruling party like me, were gathering in the canteen. We were like a few folks (me, the granny number 4 and some dude doing crosswords and having super high blood pressure, mostly because all dudes from his room were watching the news and agreeing with everything what was said there)
-food, examples
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-so I was not eating too much, so granny number one made a cross on my forehead and blessed me, so I would eat more and have a strength to give birth to children – I shit you not
-when I said I don’t want children – they almost had a collective heart attack. I decided to not reveal my other social, religion and political opinions, because I would be strangled to death in my sleep by a rosary one night
-one day I was stupid too much and didn’t leave the room while they were watching Polish Fox News and while half listening to the bullshit I probably made a fuck-my-life-face. When they ask what I was thinking about, my, a fucking idiot, said that about the vanity of life. They almost got another collective heart attack and almost ran to the nurses, no idea why but whatever
-Granny number 3, was afraid of other people snoring, because she had problems with sleep. In the end she was the one who snored the loudest
-there was an opening/closing the windows war. Granny 1 had sick lungs and asthma and whatever so was always closing the window because she was getting pneumonia and oh my god, while Granny 3 had problems with breathing, was suffocating and oh my God, so she was always opening the window. Granny number 3 was always opening the window while other already left for the meals, while Granny number 1 was always returning first and complaining SOMEONE was trying to kill her with the cold air and closing the windows. HILAROUS stuff
-on the end of the first week I ACCIDENTALLY broke a small window that was situated on the top, a window that supposedly was not meant to be open, so for the next 2 weeks we had a window opened ALL the time. Don’t ask why no one called some dudes to fix it, I have no idea, but thanks to it I survived the nights full of symphonies of farts
-that one day they gave us beans for the dinner and boy, you can only imagine
-one day we got a meat chops with a crispy batter. If you added the batter on the bottom to the batter on the top of the meat, they were thicker than meat itself
-all soups tasted the same. One day they gave us a soup and I was SURE it was a pickled cucumber soup and I was AMAZED that they managed to make it without cucumbers. Then I have learnt it was a sorrel soup *sad music in the background*
-the grannies loved to motherhen me for some reason. For example, I was sitting politely in the canteen, reading another fucking book, when one of them came and said I should not read so much, it’s unhealthy and they are worried about me. I was blinking for 30 seconds, wondering if laughing like a mad hyena would make them having another collective heart attack. In the end I just mhm-ed and continued reading.
-later I have learnt they were behaving like that, because they thought I was in middle school…
-basically, I was the youngest person on the ward and some nurses and other patients felt sorry for me because I didn’t have anyone in my age to talk… and I was like… why the fuck I should have been feeling sad? I could read and NOT TALK??? Also, or reading or murdering the grannies with a plastic spoon in their sleep, so thank you very much, leave my ass alone.
-on one dinner I basically ate pasta with pepper, because the spinach, guys, the spinach was awful and I’m not going to traumatize you with the pic
-I had a deal with the crosswords dude during breakfasts and suppers – was giving him ham and cold meat, he was giving me jam
-the Granny number one was SLEEP SINGING one night
-two days per every week some farmer was coming and selling his vegetables and fruits. Guys, all patients were buying food there, for sure I was weeping while buying plums, apples and tomatoes.
-Granny number three was super annoying and acting like a bitch aka typical ex school director, because when she wanted to watch something in TV at night, she always did even if the others were upset, but when she wanted to go to sleep at 9 she owww owwww owwwwed and was turning the lights off. So, sometimes I was returning at 9 to the room and it was dark. And there were no night bedside lamps, so it meant you needed to go to sleep too. At fucking 9.
-the face of one dude who was eating with us on one table was always priceless every time when he was opening the boxes. It was a personification of a man who was done, crying inside and knowing he can’t escape
-the most traumatizing experience after my hip surgery was PEEING. The nurse brought me a bed pan and I needed to pee while laying on my back and it was weirdly difficult, maybe because the nurse was standing over me, talking to another patient. Also, I can’t imagine taking a shit while laying, but whatever. On one moment after like a minute me trying hard, she put a hand on my stomach and said, oh so hard. My face was probably a mix between: ==’ and O.O. But in the end I succeeded, yay…
-another traumatizing experience is measuring the temperature every morning around 6. You know, you are sleeping, but suddenly feel some movement, so you open your eyes and a nurse, wearing a mask is aiming a thermometer that looks like a gun at your forehead. Amazing feeling
-I talked with some dude who had the same surgery aka hip removal, but he was not sleeping so he herd everything, and said how blood was gushing all over the place and the surgeons and the nurse was bringing the artificial hips three times, because the surgeons were not sure if they are the good ones. FUN
-btw, the first time when I saw a dead body was in a hospital. There was a ward where one room was for children, the rest was for adults after accidents etc. Sometimes someone died and they were usually putting the dead body to the bathroom on the corridor (no toilets at the rooms, it was one of the two bathrooms for whole ward). They usually put an “out of service” paper on the door, but sometimes they forgot about it. So, one night, me, sleepy and yawning went to the toilet, opened the door and hellooooooooooo the end of my innocence.
-the most stressful experience from my childhood hospital stayings was “did you defecate yesterday”? Because if you didn’t for a few days an enema was waiting
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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago
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Survey #456
“i don’t even need your love, but you treat me like a stranger, & that feels so rough”
What was the longest time you’ve had the hiccups for? I know at LEAST over an hour. I was in agony. What type of TV shows are your favourite? Animal docs. Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything? Bitch I still am lmao. Do you know anyone who has died in battle? No. When was the last time you went on an adventure? Bro, I could NOT tell you. I haven't had one of those in what feels like eons. What brand is your vacuum cleaner? I actually don't know. I don't pay attention. Are you good at rapping? Never tried, but I'm sure I'd be awful. I stutter too much. Name one world issue that upsets you. Just ONE????????? Well, I can name homelessness as very high on the list. How do you feel about tanning? I hate it. I can't stand the heat, so why would I deliberately go bake in it? Have you ever given a public speech? Yeah, in front of the whole 4th and 5th grade when I was innnn... one of those grades, idr which. It was for my D.A.R.E. essay. Do you read comic books? No. Do you force your way into conversations in which you are not involved? NOOOOOOOOOOO I'm way too awkward. Kiss with your eyes open or closed? Bro who tf kisses with their eyes open, that shit is creepy. Do you believe you can change someone? No. One can only change themselves. How did you react when your first pet died? I have no memory of our first pet. Have you ever drawn anime? No. Can you use a pogo stick? When I was a kid, I became a MASTER. I got one for I want to say Christmas and I was obsessed. When’s the next time you’ll see the person that you like? Idk, first he needs to get on Facebook and see I messaged him alsdkfjalkdj. He like never gets on there. Do you like bathing/showering? No. One, it's a chore, and two, it's actually painful for me, standing up so long and propping my legs up and stuff like that to clean myself properly. Have you ever considered entering a race? HEEEEEEEEEEELL no. Rihanna or Lady Gaga? Probably Gaga, idk. Who was your first good kiss with? Jason. What accessory do you want in your bedroom? I actually kinda want a TV now? What do you take the most pictures of? Flowers. What are you always in the mood for? Lately, Krispy Kreme donuts, lol. I haven't had one in a very long time, but goddamn does a hot glazed donut sound BANGIN' right now and has for days. What is something that you never turn down? Hm... how am I blanking??? What is something that you always turn down when offered? Certain foods or drinks, like tea. Name something sexy about your significant other. I don't have one'a those. What is one of your hobbies that you refuse to give up? Um, idk. As interests work, I may move away from any hobby eventually. If you could be a professional in any sport what would it be? Dance. If you could be a professional at any instrument what would it be? Violin. Would you rather be a surgeon or mortician? A mortician. That job doesn't even seem all that bad to me? I think it'd be kinda chill somehow???? I could NEVER be a surgeon. I'd be terrified of fucking something up. Have you ever been on a subway? No. Are you in love? No. Do you like having your lip softly bitten when you’re kissing? *eyes emoji* Do you want to get married when you’re older? Yes. What was the last band shirt you wore? PROBABLY my Metallica shirt? But I'm unsure, ultimately. You can have a milkshake right now. What flavor do you choose? Ugh, I've been wanting a nice chocolate milkshake for a while. Have you ever given someone flowers? For Mother's Day one year, I collected some wildflowers to put in a jar for Mom. I've also given Jason roses before. I really wanted to give Sara some when I surprised her for her birthday, but I didn't want to ask her parents to drive me somewhere where I could buy her some, ha ha. What day of the week is usually your busiest day? None. My days are all the same. Do you have any concerts coming up? No, but UGH, I was so hyped a few days ago because I saw Motionless In White was going on tour next year, but of course they're going to the big city on the OTHER end of the state versus the capital, which I'm way closer to. -_- Bands ALWAYS choose Charlotte on the super rare occasion they come to NC... Do you like or hate the smell of fish? Ugh, I hate it. What’s your favorite brand of chips? Doritos, maybe? Between Mountain Dew and those... I am such a fucking gamer stereotype lmfao. Have you ever written a poem and then read it aloud? I think I had to before in school? Idr. Do you like pineapple? Love it. Does your house have a dishwasher? Yes. A dishwasher is one thing I MUST have in my own future house. I cannot stand touching dirty dishes. Do you know anyone who has a flower tattoo? Oh, absolutely. Sunflower tattoos are especially popular around here. How many different languages can you say goodbye in? English, German, and uhhh Spanish? Agree or disagree: You like Adam Sandler movies. I don't mind them. I've never understood the hate, honestly? I think he's capable of being funny. Have you ever had to get a tooth pulled? If so, what for? Only by myself when I was a kid losing my baby teeth. Have you ever dated anyone while they were in jail? Nooooo. If you’ve ever babysat, do you like it? Fuck no, I hate it. What is your favorite flavor on sunflower seeds? I don't like those. Do you get cold easily? No, but I get hot extremely easily. Do you get a lot of spiders in your house? I don't think so, no. Do you admire nature? I positively adore nature. If only we treated it better... Name one naughty thing you’ve done. Done sexual things in places I probably shouldn't have, oops. Name two of your favorite things as a child. Pokemon and Webkinz. Do you own a Pillow Pet? No. They're cute, though. My niece has one. Do you tend to solve problems with violence? Absolutely not. Have either of your parents gone to jail? No. Do you know a hoarder? Yes. Do you wax, pluck, or leave your eyebrows? I just leave 'em be, honestly. Do you have any interesting scar stories? Not really. Do you hate the texture of meatballs? No, I love me some meatballs. Do you get migraines? Very, very rarely. They fucking suck. Do you like guns? NOOOOOOO guns terrify me alsd;kjfal;sdjfk Are turtles amazing creatures? All animals are. :') How much time do you spend taking surveys? A whole lot. It's just that I'm like... always bored and the randomness of surveys can add interesting little flares to the day, I guess. Would you rather visit: The Eiffel Tower or Egyptian Pyramids? Pyramids, for sure. Would you like to work at a candy shop? No. I don't want to work directly with people. Do you have feelings for someone? It's funny; now that I've settled the extreme indecision, I've come to realize that they're very strong feelings. How you go from being indecisive to really, really liking somebody, hell if I know. Which one of your guy friends is the best looking? Uhhh Girt is like my only real guy friend, so I guess it's by default him, ha ha. I'm not particularly attracted to him, but he's not ugly by any means. Do you have anything to say to your ex bf/gf? I'm so sorry. Which band do you have the most of on your iPod/music player? Either Ozzy or Metallica. Most likely Ozzy, though. Which song describes your mood at the moment? Hm. I dunno. Which movie(s) do you quote the most? None, really. Which one of your best friend’s friends would you most likely date? None; we don't share irl friends, being many states apart, and not even that many online ones. Would you ever let anybody else drive your car? I don't have my own car. Which one of your friends will be the most successful? I'm not psychic. What store did you last shop at? Mom and I picked up a Wal-Mart order the other day. Do you think telepathy is real? Absolutely not. When did you last draw something for fun? A few days ago, I started a drawing of Maieykio for Sara. Who makes the most in your entire family? I have no idea. Do you like writing essays? I don't mind, if the topic interests me. Do you think plastic surgery is no big deal? Nah. Well, I think you can take it to an visual extreme, but that's just my opinion. Do what makes you comfortable in your own body. Do you take your trash to the dump or have it picked up? It's picked up. When you sneeze do you sneeze into your shirt or your hands? The inside of my elbow. Do you usually have sex in the morning, noon or night time? It usually happened at night. Did you ever fail your learners/drivers test? Haven't taken it yet. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? OH MY GOD NEITHER Name someone you’ve become a lot closer to recently: No one, really? Well, unless you count my change of feelings for Girt, but it's just that: a type of change. I've loved him platonically since high school, and it's like, I feel the same for him, just in a romantic way now? Does your car have a sunroof? No. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? My mom. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? Nope, not how I roll. Who’s the last person you cuddled with? Sara. Unless you count my cat. Are you friends with any of your teachers on Facebook? Former teachers, yes. I feel kinda bad for 'em now... They're all the sweetest, God-fearing people, and then there's my outspoken (online) and liberal ass sharing shit that's gotta disappoint them now lmaoooo.
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whitemagnolia1 · 4 years ago
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Delena Fic Rec:
This is the hardest thing I’ve ever posted here lol.
Forever Mine: The night Damon Salvatore met Elena Gilbert changed the course of their destinies forever. But just as the future made itself known, the past caught up with them to destroy it all. Together on the run, Damon finds himself falling for this girl. Hard. But, Damon Salvatore doesn't love and he won't let her change that. No matter how much his soul...his body begs him to give in.
A Woman’s Worth:  AH/AU–Love hurts. This story takes on a literal meaning when Elena is a victim of abuse by her boyfriend. A journey of the silent sufferings of a girl with no one to turn to and unwilling to ask for help. Enters Damon, a social worker determined to rescue a damsel in distress and falling for her along the way. What is he willing to sacrifice in the end to save a girl he loves?
Tomorrow:  Will you be there beside me if the world falls apart? And will all of our moments remain in your heart? Will you be there to guide me all the way through? I wonder will you walk by my side and follow my dreams? With the Nazi reign of terror at its zenith, Damon and Elena form an unlikely friendship in WW2 era Czechoslovakia.
Where the Fireflies Dance: Elena just wants to forget. She moved away for college, and is trying to make a life for herself, when her roommate invites her to her family's ranch for a summer that could change Elena's life. Damon Salvatore is a flirt. But the only girl he's ever really loved is the daughter he's fighting for custody of. Then his sister brings home a friend for summer and everything changes.
Addictions:  When Elenas' life has been consumed by addictions, can anyone save her?- OOC,AU. *WARNING* Story contains strong language, substance abuse, graphic smut/lemons. For mature audiences only. Consider yourself warned.
Breaking Point: Elena wants to learn to fight compulsion. Damon's all-too willing to help, but will either of them be able to deal with the consequences?
Crying Lightening:  "I should have helped her. I should have done something. I deserve this. I deserve to die" - Damon is an 18 year old troubled lost soul with a bad reputation and Elena a 17 year old popular high school student who thought she had everything she ever wanted, that is until she got to know the eldest Salvatore and realizes that life is about more than being crowned Prom Queen! AU R&R
Casually Cruel:  AU/AH/ 'You're different, not the guy I used to know' -Maybe you never really knew me- 'Yes I did'. She knew the depths of his soul, loved and accepted every part of him. Now he's lost and he doesn't think she can find him and she's not sure she wants to.
Someone Like You: You fall in love, get married, fall in love again, get your heart broken. What if it got broken by a heart surgeon that never came back to fix it? Damon/ Elena - AU/AH
Echoes of the past:  Each of us has a past that shapes and defines us. Some pasts are filled with pain and heartache. Can Damon and Elena overcome their pasts to allow themselves a chance at happiness? Or will things from their past resurface to destroy their future? AU/AH Complete!
Forbidden Fruit:  Damon is friends with Grayson Gilbert. When he meets his daughter Elena, sparks fly. Considering the age difference and the fact that she is his friend's daughter, he tries to fight the pull every step of the way. Will he succeed in keeping her at bay?
Held Captive:  My favorite one shot I wrote last year, Re Published into a mini short story. Damon, a notorious War Lord captured the lovely, innocent Elena as part of his war games but things are not as simple as he'd thought. Set in medieval times.
I’d Kill Us Both:  AU/AH For years, Elena has been married to Stefan, but in love with his older brother, Damon, who left for the Marines shortly after the wedding. But now he's back, and not hiding his feelings. Will they finally have the chance to be together? And what if someone from Damon's military past followed him back home, putting them all in danger? Is love worth the risk?
Hopeless:  AU. AH. Elena has found that she likes her older sister Katherine's best friend Damon a lot more than she should. Little does she know he likes her more than he should too. Through the years things start to change between them, but if anyone found out they'd be in big trouble.
A Gentleman’s Agreement:  Possible S4 idea. VampElena has shut herself away from most of her friends, and the Salvatore brothers are at a loss over what to do. She is in for seduction and romance she never saw coming, but sooner or later a choice must be made. COMPLETED.
How Never Became Forever:  Elena's established rules and guidelines for her relationships. She knows how to stay emotionally detached and when to cut the cord. But then she meets Damon, who could potentially change everything. AU. AH.
Kiss Me, Break My Heart:  Elena Gilbert has been in love with her best friend Damon Salvatore for years, but when he asks her to help him win back the woman of his dreams, Elena decides she's had enough. Now Elena wants to move on, but Damon's not making it easy on her. AU/AH
Pretend You Love Me:  While their marriage is falling apart, Damon and Elena must learn to get past their demons or lose each other forever. AH/AU. Officially issuing an angst warning.
Auto In:  AU/AH /Life is wonderfully uncomplicated for Damon Salvatore. Take accident claims as a call center rep by day, charm his way into a new bed each night. Go to work, drink with friends, sex. Simple and straightforward and fun. Until a coworker, Elena Gilbert, makes him question whether some things are worth changing for. But is he the only one who needs to let go of a previous life?
Locked In a Loveless Marriage:  When Elena asks Damon Salvatore for a loan, he agrees on the condition that she marries him. What happens when she finds herself falling in love with a man who has told her he will never love her? AU. All human.
A Hymn For The Broken: AU Elena is a novelty. The only female werewolf to ever exist. She tries to stray away from the past, that turned her into a monster, but a string of grisly murders threaten, and she is called back home. Once reconnected with the Pack, and an old flame, Elena finds herself torn between two worlds. The normal life she'd made for herself, and the call of the wolf inside.
Physical Attraction, Chemical Reaction:  It all started with a night of hot sex. Where things could go from there to Elena and Damon? Could they fall for each other although they don't believe in love anymore? AU/AH
Never Break the Rules:  Handsome and tough, he had always done what needed to be done. He was supposed to be her knight in shining armour. He just never expected to be the one who needed to be saved… Ignoring swarming butterflies. Brushing off skipped heartbeats. Settling on lingering stares. Rules were never meant to be broken. What if there was a love that could break all the rules?
Love Lessons:  New to Mystic Falls High, Damon Salvatore is both excited and horrified to find he is falling in love with his student, Elena Gilbert. But what happens when they overstep the boundaries, and their friends and enemies discover their illicit secret?
Death is Just a Feeling:  "This life will be good and beautiful but not without heartbreak. In death comes peace, but pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive." – Elena Gilbert ***HAPPY BIRTHDAY Short on words***
The End of Paralysis:  Enter Elena Gilbert, 24, hardworking, lovely, and insatiably in love with her long time best friend, Damon Salvatore. Can she make him see that they belong together? Delena. AH/AU.
Lucky 13:  AU/AH: Mistaken for a glamorous, selfish woman named Katherine Salvatore, the badly injured Elena finds that plastic surgery has given her Katherine's face, the famos Damon Salatore for a husband and a powerful dynasty for in-laws.
It’s A Boy Girl Thing:  Based off the movie with the same name, an ancient curse is awakened and cast upon Elena and Damon. The results cause them to switch bodies, waking the next day in the body of not only the opposite sex, but the last person they ever wanted to switch bodies with. A hilarious battle of the sexes ensues, but eventually they wonder if they'll ever get their own body back. ALL HUMAN D/E
Somebody I Used To Know:  Grieving the sudden death of their parents, Damon and Elena are forced to face their past choices and mistakes. Take a wild a journey through 20 years of their lives...together, apart and everything in between.
Sweet and Sexy Mistakes:  An expert on the dynamics between men and women, Damon Salvatore knows his uptight new publicist could use his help getting a date. The only problem is, the more time he spends with her, the more he realizes he doesn't want her dating anyone but him!
To Save A Sinner:  AU/AH: Damon Salvatore, the new star swimmer and transfer student at MFU, befriends the dark and mysterious Elena Gilbert, a girl the rest of Mystic Falls considers crazy. When he discovers the deep, haunting secrets she keeps from the world, can he handle the truth or will it cost him his heart and even possibly, his sanity?
Through The Ghost:  Damon, a carefree soldier & Elena, a no-nonsense physical therapist at an Army base met under ordinary circumstances. Stuck between attraction and resistance, they struggled to define their relationship until fate made the decision for them. 4 years later a heartbroken Elena battles to make good on a promise when she discovers nothing but the shell of the only man she's ever loved.
Maybe Less, Maybe a Little More:  Vampire Damon and Human Elena meet in a snowstorm. He wants to kill her and she is instantly attracted to him. What will happen over the next ten years? Fic for the A2A x-mas exchange. Non-canon, Oneshot, Delena endgame, rated M for sexual content and some gore. ENJOY THE DRAMA MYLOVES! :D
Do You Believe In Angels:  "Damon?" She asked. He looked at her, waiting. She took a shaky breath, "Do you believe in angels?" "No," he said, "Not anymore." . . AH/AU: Two children with tragic pasts meet at a refuge. Hurt and alone, they clinge to each other to survive. This is their story, and everyone involved along the way.
Alcohol:  Damon's drunk and she looks like Katherine. Elena's drunk and he smells like Stefan.
Memory Serves:  Elena accidentally asks for her soul mate. What happens when magic delivers 1864 Human Damon? How will the Vampire Salvatore brothers deal? Vampire Damon is tortured by intimate memories of Elena. He feels so close yet far away from her. AU1x14 - COMPLETE -
Desperate Love:  A whole different version of Season 4, without sire bonds or dead brothers. A meditation on the nature of love, free will and morality in an imperfect world, through: suspense, romance, steam, angst, and friendship. Tons of Delena as well as Stefan/Caroline/Klaus, Jeremy and Ric, too. Lemons!
The Valentine’s Day Corruption of Damon Salvatore:  This is my fic in response to the prompt by Ciara 2531 for the A2A Valentine Exchange on Live Journal. As always, it's rated M for a reason...
The Best Man: Damon and Elena meet at a wedding, which ends hotter than anyone would have thought.
Insanity Is Beautiful:  They called him crazy, insane even. People feared him and avoided him at any cost, even in the asylum. So what is Dr. Elena Gilbert supposed to do when she not only takes this insane monster as a patient, but falls in love with him, and him with her? (this one is only this low on the list because it’s incomplete)
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thejolexgroupchat · 4 years ago
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Hi! Love all the fics you guys write :) could you guys do one where Jo and Alex were together before Alex even started his intern year? Like idk they met somehow while Jo was in college & Alex was in led school and started dating. Everyone tries to hook up with Alex but he’s got this super secret girlfriend that everyone makes fun of him for. They could still have a large age gap or they could be like a year or two apart. Basically, I just want to see Alex holding out for Jo and being super proud & showing her off when she gets into the residency program.
the one where they met in med school - part one
So... we absolutely LOVED this prompt, took it and ran with it. This originally was supposed to be a one-shot, but it kind of grew out of control and became what it is now.
This fic was written by @iamtrebleclefstories (Leya), @doc-pickles (Nina), and tumblr-less Nat
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                                                           ———
                                                       (July 2006)
“Hey! I miss you,” Jo smiled as she talked into the phone. “How was your first week as an intern?”
“Honestly? It sucked. But it was also amazing. I don’t know if that makes sense,” Alex replied, shrugging although he knew she couldn’t see him. “And for the record, I miss you more.”
“That’s impossible. You’re so busy you don’t even have time to miss me,” Jo chuckled. “Me on them other hand? My life revolves around school and studying. Studying isn’t as fun without you around. I miss our study dates.”
“I do too,” Alex sighed. He really did miss her. A lot. All the time. He’d only been living in Seattle for a month and it was definitely a challenge. He really didn’t know how he was going to make it through the next year without her. “But at least you have Lexie there. You’re not completely alone.”
“Yeah you’ve got a point,” Jo hummed. “But Lexie doesn’t do all the things for me that you do, if you know what I mean.”
Alex groaned, “Stop it. We’re way too far away from each other to do this. I need you so bad right now and I can’t have you and it sucks.”
“Tell me about it,” Jo agreed. She couldn’t believe how far they’d come. She and Alex had been together for about 2 ½ years now. In all that time, they’d been attached at the hip. He was her best friend and she was his. It was odd not seeing him everyday. It was unnatural to sleep without him beside her at night like he’d been doing for years. “I have a week-long break next month though and I was thinking of coming to visit. I’ve saved up a bunch of money from tutoring undergrads.”
“Would it be bad of me to just keep you locked up in my apartment the whole time you’re here, because that sounds appealing,” Alex’s words sparked a string of laughter from Jo, making him sigh down the line. “I miss hearing your laugh and that makes me feel pathetic. It feels like I’m in one of those stupid rom coms you and Lexie forced me to watch all the time.” “We didn’t force you, you readily agreed to it, Karev,” Lexie’s voice echoed faintly in the background, Jo shushing her as the two bickered quietly. 
“Am I on speaker?” 
“Um… maybe?” Jo shrugged, knowing that he couldn’t see her through the phone. “You can’t possibly be embarrassed. Lexie has seen and heard worse from you.”
“I sure have,” Lexie yelled out from her spot across the room. “Keep going! Don’t let me stop you from being all mushy and talking about how much you miss Jo.”
Alex rolled his eyes, “Keep your comments to yourself, let me enjoy my girlfriend for a little while please.”
“So, tell me. Did you make any friends yet?” Jo asked. 
“What is this? Middle school?” Alex scoffed. “I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to become a surgeon. A kickass, rich, plastic surgeon.”
“Yes I’m sure between the scut work and the enemas you have plenty of time to dream about all the money you’re gonna make,” Jo giggled down the line. 
“Oh, you just wait. When you’re an intern I’m going to have you doing all my scut,” Alex warned playfully. “You’ll be sorry for making fun of my career aspirations.”
“I just can’t see you going into plastics,” Jo confessed, a large grin on her face. “Not that you wouldn’t be good at it, but I just don’t see it. Maybe general or ortho!”
“General? Wow I didn’t realize you thought so little of me,” Alex leaned back onto the brick wall behind him as he listened to the sounds of Jo’s quiet laughter. 
“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with general,” Jo insisted. She groaned as she saw the time. The worst part about Alex moving across the country was the time difference. “I wish I could talk more, but I really have to get ready for bed. I will try to call you tomorrow evening.”
“I’m on-call tomorrow,” Alex revealed sadly. “I hate this. I went from going to bed next to you every night to struggling to even find some time during the day to talk.”
“I know,” Jo sighed. “I hate it, too. Of course I wish you were here, but I am so proud of you.  You’re living the dream right now, Alex. If that means I have to miss you for a little while, so be it.”
God, he really loved this woman. Alex smiled and clutched the phone tightly, “I love you. So much.”
“I love you too,” Jo answered. It still made her heart beat quickly whenever she heard him say those words. He’d been the first person to ever say them to her and mean it. “Go kick some ass.”
“I will,” Alex chuckled. “Goodnight.” 
“Goodnight.”
Alex hung up his phone and sighed as he walked back into the bar across the street from the hospital. He walked back up to the group of his fellow interns and ordered a beer, staring at his phone for a moment before finally putting it back in his pocket. 
“What’s up with you?” Yang asked. “You look all, mopey.” 
“It’s nothing,” Alex shook his head.
“No, she’s right. You look depressed,” Grey seconded. 
“I’m fine,” Alex took a swig of his beer. “I’m just a little homesick.”
“You know what will cheer you up? Getting laid. You see that girl over there,” Yang pointed to a woman across the bar with red hair and blue eyes. “She’s been eyeing you for a while now. I’m sure if you asked she’d say yes.”
“I don’t need to get laid,” Alex narrowed his eyes at her. “I’m fine.”
“No, you’re uptight. Isn’t he Stevens?” Yang asked the woman he’d identified as Dr. Model. 
“He is,” Stevens nodded, laying her hand on Alex’s shoulder. “I know we’ve only known each other for like a week, but this is the most disappointed and depressed that I’ve seen you. And that’s saying a lot, considering that we are surgical interns and basically slaves to the hospital.”
"I'm not depressed and I do not need to get laid," Alex grumbled, taking a swig of his beer. "If you must know, I was on the phone with my girlfriend."
"Evil Spawn has a girlfriend?" Cristina raised an eyebrow. "I didn't take you for a relationship type guy."
"Neither did I, but then I met her. So, just stop pestering and let me mope in peace."
"Wow. Karev has a heart," O'Malley chuckled and took a sip of his drink. "I didn't see that one coming."
“Oh screw you guys, why don’t you go get laid? Being so invested in someone else’s love life has gotta be a sign that you need to get some.”
                                                          ———
                                                   (August 2003)
“Hey! You’re Jo right?” 
Jo turned around to see a young woman with short brown hair and brown eyes smiling at her. Jo outstretched her hand, “Yes. I’m Jo. You’re Lexie, my lab partner right?”
“Yup!  It’s so nice to officially meet you,” Lexie shook Jo’s hand. 
She seemed like a sweet and perky person. The exact kind of person that Jo didn’t normally associate with. For the longest time, Jo didn’t have any friends or get attached to anyone. She had two friends the entirety of her undergrad and typically didn’t look to make any more. Jo supposed it would be nice to have someone, "It's nice to meet you, too."
                                              (September 2003)
"I can't believe you actually did that!" Jo exclaimed as she and Lexie walked down to the lab. "You became another one of Karev's conquests."
"Honestly, I don't even regret it," Lexie confessed, a large smile on her face. "There is a reason why Leah is so hung up on him. He knows what he's doing. You should go for it. Sleeping with him is like a right of passage or something."
"Ew, no way," Jo faked a gag. "He's an ass. I have much higher standards than Alex Karev."
They entered the lab to find the program's resident man-whore going over some samples. Jo had to admit, he was pretty hot. Alex Karev was cocky and charming and incredibly intelligent. He was always getting the highest grades and was every professor's favorite student. She was into him. But she'd never say it out loud.
"Hey, Lexie," Alex smirked as they walked over to their stations. He gave Jo a once over and looked at her with one of his signature crooked grins. "Hello Lexie's friend. You got a name?"
Jo considered staying quiet but finally decided to respond, "Jo Wilson."
"Nice, I like chicks with boys' names."
"Karev, " Lexie warned.
"What? I do. It's hot," Alex shrugged.
"Alex, stop sleeping with all the first years. It ruins them," Lexie admonished.
"I slept with you," Alex pointed out. 
"Yeah, and it's never going to happen again. Besides, Jo's my best friend," Lexie shrugged. "I'm protective of her."
                                                (October 2003)
“I told you I didn’t need you to follow me,” Jo grumbled. “I can take care of myself.”
"Calm down,  princess. There's no need to get your panties in a twist," Alex rolled his eyes at Jo who'd been yelling at him for the past few minutes. They'd been studying with a group of friends in the library when Jo decided to leave and Alex offered to walk her home. “I just don’t think you should be walking home alone with that fancy watch on your wrist that daddy probably gifted you. Can’t risk someone mugging the princess.” 
"Stop calling me princess!" Jo shouted, turning to face Alex as anger bubbled up inside of her. She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself for a moment. "My mother left me at a fire station when I was two weeks old. I got bumped around foster homes until I was sixteen when I took matters into my own hands and started living out of a car. I parked it behind the gym of my high school so I could sneak in and use the showers before class. My home ec teacher--Ms. Schmidt--she’d let me do my laundry there for free. And yeah, I got into good schools because I worked my ass off. And when I walked across that stage at graduation, I didn’t have a cheering section filled with my richy-rich family. I had one person, Ms. Schmidt. That’s it. She’s the one who gave me this watch when I got into Med School. Her son works for the company.” 
Alex had the decency to look down at the ground ashamed. He walked up to the wall Jo was leaning against and stood beside her, “It is a nice watch.” 
“Thanks.” 
The next time they see each other, things are different. Understanding Jo’s background gave Alex a deeper appreciation for her work ethic. Even though they were in different years, Alex found himself seeking Jo out for projects and studying. Being around her made him want to be better. He wanted to excel in ways he hadn’t in the past. And that said a lot, considering he was already at the top of his class. 
So that’s why when he saw her sitting at the bar a couple weeks later, he decided to join her. They’d had an argument earlier in the day where some things were said. Alex walked up to the bar and grinned at the bartender, “A beer for me and another round for Hobo Jo. Let me guess… Thunderbird or is it straight paint thinner?” Alex looked back up at the bartender. “You got a little brown paper bag you can put that in?”
“Would you stop,” Jo sighed and looked at Alex. “I had no parents. I lived in my car. Yes I have trust issues, it comes with the territory.” 
“You need to stop acting like you’re the only person who ever had a crappy childhood,” Alex rolled his eyes slightly. 
“Oh yeah? How many foster homes did you get kicked out of before you moved into your car?” 
“Seventeen. And I didn’t live in my car. I went to juvie,” Alex took a sip of his drink. 
“Stop making fun of me,” Jo shook her head. 
“I’m not.” 
Jo’s face scrunched in interest, “Really?”
“And you’re actually lucky that your folks abandoned you. It means you didn’t have to watch your schizo mom go after your baby brother with a steak knife.” 
“Fine, fair,” Jo conceded. “But you never woke up in the middle of the night with junkies banging on your bedroom windshield, praying they’d get tired or bored before they put a rock through a window.”
“No, I didn’t,” Alex shook his head in response. “Because the junkie was my dad and he didn’t break windows, just fingers.” 
“Well, did you ever have foster parents that made you and nineteen other kids sleep on cots in the basement? Locking the doors, lights out, so that if you had to pee in the middle of the night, you had to use buckets they set up along the wall. Buckets you couldn’t see because if you turned the lights on, the bigger kids would hold you down and take those buckets and--” Jo’s voice cracked slightly.
Alex bowed his head in sadness, “God… no, never.” 
“Me neither,” Jo shrugged. “Saw it in a movie on cable.” 
Alex’s mouth twitched into a shocked grin as he let out a few chuckles, “How did you get cable in your car?”
“I don’t live in my car anymore, jerk,” Jo giggled lightly. 
Her story must’ve done the trick to break the ice because before they knew it, Jo and Alex were well on their way to becoming best of friends. They laughed and joked together for hours, even going as far as fake crying to get out of paying their tab. 
“You know, you’re not half bad, Karev,” Jo grinned as she and Alex walked out of the bar. She clutched the sides of Alex’s jacket which he had so kindly allowed her to borrow. “I actually had a lot of fun tonight.” 
“So did I, Wilson,” Alex smiled back at her. “What do you say we grab some tacos and eat them in the back of my truck?”
“Sounds great to me.”
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cudan2 · 5 years ago
Text
Starbucks and Skin Grafts
Spring Break Shadowing Part 2
Carlisle Cullen x Reader
Word Count: 2,206
Summary: You’re starting your second day of shadowing with Dr. Cullen and get to learn more about him.
A/N: I underestimated the amount of research I’d have to do for this series woops. I’m pre-dent and not pre-med, so if anyone here is actually a doctor or a med student or even knows more about medicine than I do, feel free to tell me what details I should change! (I really did try my best though, but it’s turning out to be more Grey’s Anatomy-esque) 
Anyways, this is #4 on my headcanon list. 
Masterlist
XXX
When the train stops at the 168th Street Station, you make your first task of the day to find Doctor Cullen. The campus is growing to be familiar territory, but it’s still massive and you find yourself getting lost on the main surgical floor despite already getting directions from a receptionist. Your frustration begin growing as you turn another corner and realize you’re still as lost as before.
“Just the person I’ve been looking for!” a familiar voice calls out. You turn to look over your shoulder and find the doctor you’d spent the last fifteen minutes searching for. He’s wearing a white coat and lacking the scrub cap from the previous day. So he’s blonde, you notice, not a single strand out of place. You take several steps towards him to meet him halfway.
“Good morning, Doctor Cullen. I’m sorry for not meeting with you earlier. It might have been a little difficult to track you down,” you give a sheepish smile.
“Don’t worry, it can certainly take weeks to learn how to navigate this hospital. I’ve just finished doing my morning rounds, so there is about twenty minutes before I meet for a pre-op. Why don’t we grab some coffee and get to know each other a bit more?” Before you can even give an answer, your stomach growls loudly and you mentally berate yourself for not eating anything beforehand. “Perhaps a little less coffee and some more food would be beneficial for you instead,” Doctor Cullen chuckles.
By the time you reach the Starbucks on the first floor of the hospital, you’ve learned the basics about him and vice versa. He’s a plastic surgeon, this was his first year as an attending, he moved here about five months ago, actually started working here four months ago, and attended University of Washington in Seattle for both his undergrad and medical school.
Meanwhile, you currently attend school away from home at New York University, you’re in your third year of college, majoring in biology, minoring in psychology, and on track to graduate a semester early.
“Hey, Doc! The usual as always?” you hear as you make it to the front of the Starbucks line with Doctor Cullen.
“Good morning, Emily. Yes, the usual as always.”
“Sounds good! Will that be all?” Both the barista and the doctor look towards at you.
You splutter out your intended order and lean towards Doctor Cullen as Emily is writing your name on a cup. “You really don’t have to pay for the food and stuff. I mean, I brought cash so–”
“Think of it as compensation. I can’t imagine how many people actually enjoy being up this early in the morning, especially seeing how this is your spring break. Besides, I think you’ll find you need the energy to keep up with me today. I must warn you though, it won’t all lap appys and fun like with Doctor Stone.”  
“I like a good challenge,” you smirk at him. He gazes back at you with a twinkle in his eyes and a soft smile and you can’t help the fact that your heart starts beating just a little faster.  
Another barista call your names out and you’re suddenly reminded that this is the real world.
“Thanks for the breakfast,” you quickly say, breaking eye contact and grabbing the orders from the counter. Stop thinking about how pretty his eyes are, you tell yourself, even if they do look like pure amber. Doctor Cullen follows suite and goes to grab his grande-sized cup.
“Careful, wouldn’t want to burn the surgeon hands,” you notice the amount steam coming out of the lid and hand him a sleeve for the cup. When he accepts the sleeve from your outstretched arm, you see a peculiar expression on his face and hear a soft chuckle from him before he thanks you. It’s almost as though he knew something you didn’t.
The two of you walk back to his office so he can grab his notes on the patient. On the way there, he tells you more about his daily life as a plastic surgeon as you eat. He’s done so many different procedures that you can barely keep track of the list. There’s a lot less liposuctions and facelifts – those were for the cosmetic surgeons – and more reconstructions and repairs in his line of work.    
“The patient you’re about to meet was in a car accident two years ago,” Doctor Cullen explains. “He received extensive burns to the face and neck, all of which have scarred over now. Our goal is to reduce the scarring and give him back some mobility.”
Before you can ask any questions, Doctor Cullen is already knocking on the patient’s door and entering. The door opens to reveal the patient sitting up in bed along and a woman standing beside him. The other two doctors in the room wore ceil blue scrubs – residents, you note, following Doctor Cullen into the room.  
“There’s the man of the hour!” The woman exclaims.
“Mom!” The patient lets out an exasperated groan.
“What? As if you aren’t excited to see the handsome doctor either, Tyler!” You try your best not to laugh but can see the two residents smother their own smiles behind fake coughs. Doctor Cullen is the one to accept the indirect compliment and bids both the patient and his mother a hello.
“Tyler, I have a student shadowing me for the week, if you wouldn’t mind another pair of eyes in the room?”
“Yeah, I don’t mind. I’ve definitely experienced a whole lot worse,” Tyler responds.
“Perfect. Doctor Wang, would you present the case?”
One of the residents looks up from her charts and begins reciting the details as if it were second nature. “Tyler Sardella, age 24, scheduled for scar revision.”
“And what procedures will we be performing today?”
“We’ll be planting an autograft and doing a Z-plasty to minimize the appearance of scarring. Skin grafting will help give a bigger range of motion in the neck, accelerate the healing process, and prevent any future scarring.” Her words exude confidence and you hope to sound like that one day. Skin graft and Z-plasty... you’re not entirely familiar with the terms but store them in the back of your head. After all, you’re here to learn.
Doctor Cullen gives a nod of approval to Doctor Wang and turns back to Tyler. “Tyler, do you have any last-minute questions before we send you to the OR?”
“Nope! I’m so ready to turn my head 180 degrees again.”
“Sounds good, I’ll see you soon then.”
You give a quick nod to Tyler and his mother as both Doctor Cullen and you take your leave. The two residents reconvene with their attending several minutes later and exchange words before they both head off to prepare for the surgery.
You stand around awkwardly for a moment as Doctor Cullen looks over the charts. He suddenly calls your name out, eyes still scanning over his notes.
Your response is to stand up just slightly straighter as you say, “Yes?”
“What procedures will we be performing on Tyler?”
Well shit, you certainly weren’t expecting him to ask you that.
“Um, you’re planting a skin graft, an autograft to be more specific, and then doing a Z-plasty.” You’re unsure and your voice shows it. Of course you could regurgitate words, but it’s hard to explain any further when you didn’t know the meanings to those words.
Doctor Cullen looks up from his charts with that twinkle in his eyes again and a smirk playing on his lips. “Correct!” he exclaims and laughs when he sees the petrified expression you’re wearing from being caught off guard. “Y/N, I did warn you it wasn’t going to be easy. However, I may have failed to mention it was going to be me making your experience here more difficult.”
“Why though?”
“What can I say? I like to keep my students on their toes. It keeps things interesting.”
You huffed and followed him to the OR. Challenge accepted.
Scrubbed – check, PPE – check, scrub cap – well, that was for Doctor Cullen, but check. He’s still scrubbing when you hear him.
“Are you sure you want to be in there? It’s going to take approximately three hours.”
“You told me that,” you remind him. “And I told you that I like a challenge.”
“Alright, but please let me know if you feel any fatigue. I can ask one of the nurses to bring in a chair or you can step out for some air–”
“I will be fine,” you insist. “I sit all day in class, standing for three hours will be a good change of pace.” The concern etched into his face is almost endearing, but really, you’re going to be fine.
Everything and everyone is prepped and ready to go by the time you two enter the OR. You make sure to stand in an area that gives you a perfect view of the surgery but would not get in the way of anyone else. Doctor Cullen has his loupes on and you start feeling the high that comes with observing any sort of surgical procedure. It’s not every day that a mere undergrad like you can witness this kind of stuff.
Two hours later, you are still engrossed in the surgery. There’s 80s music playing in the background at the request of the two residents from earlier, who are now chatting away. About fifteen minutes in, Doctor Cullen had properly introduced you to his residents, Lily Wang and Jaime Montes.
Doctor Stone was great and all, but there is something about the blonde doctor that really makes him stand out as a surgeon to you. He’s able to cut and suture whilst explaining the entire procedure to you. He makes all of this seem so... effortless. Although Lily and Jaime are working as much as Doctor Cullen, it’s clear who the leader in the room is.
“You said you went to University of Washington for your undergrad and med school. What made you decide to work here instead of staying in Seattle?” you ask Doctor Cullen suddenly. The conversations around you die down. It seems you aren’t the only one curious about the surgeon.
“I suppose it felt like the right decision at the time.” He glances hesitantly at you from the head of the table before looking back to his work. You can tell there’s more to the story. “I previously worked in a hospital in a small town called Forks.”
“Forks? As in the thing you eat with?” Jaime asks and everyone around you laughs.
“Yes, Forks. It had less than 4,000 inhabitants, so you can imagine the lack of cases like these. The other residents would have gone crazy. It was peaceful for some time but I was ready to move on. It’s a silly notion now that I say it out loud, but I wanted to make an impact on the people I treated.”
“You weren’t making a difference in Forks,” you say. It isn’t a question, but a statement.
“Exactly. One of my deciding factors in working for Columbia was its resources and size. Here, I could save more people to the best of my ability with the most advance resources available.”
Once the surgery reaches its conclusion, you go scrub out with Doctor Cullen as everyone else stays to finish up. You unceremoniously flop onto the bench outside the OR, propriety be damned. Your feet are sore and you wish you could be wearing scrubs and sneakers instead of business-casual clothing.
A water bottle enters your peripheral and you look up to the person handing it to you. Doctor Cullen’s scrub cap is gone once again and his blonde hair is slightly astray.
“Thanks,” is all you can say as you grab the bottle and take a nice, long drink from it. “Nice hair by the way.” Doctor Cullen has the audacity to look down rather bashfully and runs a hand through his hair. Great, now he looks even more attractive.
“You survived,” he says.    
“I did.”
“I’m impressed.”
You let out a snort.
“You’re impressed? You, Lily, and Jaime were the ones doing everything. I literally stood there for three and a half hours! I should be the one that’s impressed.”
“You showed resilience. I have a feeling most students your age would have given in for a chair at least.”
“Yeah, I did tell you I like a challenge,” you point out, even if you did feel like never standing again.
“You also asked very good questions, Y/N. Don’t sell yourself short. You have a lot of potential in this field whether you think it or not. Now go get some lunch, you deserve a break.” He sticks out a hand and you grab it to get up. Damn, his hands are cold. “I have some paperwork to file, so I’ll catch up with you later.”
“I’ll see you then,” you say and begin walking in the direction of the cafeteria.
“Y/N!” you hear him halfway down the hallway and turn to look over your shoulder. “How are we treating the donor site wound?”
You decide to keep walking.
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fourdaysofrain · 4 years ago
Text
Self-Made Man
Summary: A Trans!Tony Stark AU. 
(Lengthy, personal author’s note below the cut, if you’re interested.)
Natasha Marie Stark was born twelve minutes before midnight on May 29th, 1970. She weighed a healthy seven pounds and two ounces when she arrived. She was the most beautiful thing that either of her parents had ever seen. And she was screaming loud enough to scare the pigeons from the trees outside.
Read on AO3
Well, hey everyone. It’s been a handful of months since I’ve been on here. I want to apologize for being gone, but that feels kind of phony. I don’t know. I missed this, though. I can tell you that much. I still checked my notifications every once in a while. It made me really glad to see people still commenting on my fics or passing my links around. Love y’all. 
I guess it’s about time that I tell you that I’m trans. I have been this whole time. To answer a few quick questions, I first knew sometime in late high school, but it was always kind of in the background my whole life, I just didn’t know how to isolate the feeling. I started socially transitioning (i.e. dressing male, coming out, going by he/him) after my high school graduation, and I started HRT (Horomone replacement therapy, that means I inject myself with testosterone weekly. .33mL subcutaneously into my tummy, if you’re curious) on Oct. 12, 2018. So it’s been almost two years since, and I’ve been completely passing as a man for quite a while. Ass-crack hair, sweat, and all. 
This is a pretty personal fic for me, given the nature of it. I’ve wanted to write it for a long time, and I’ve actually had words in the Google Doc since January. It took a lot of long nights to write. It helped that I was back home. I always have an easier time tapping into Trans Emotions when I’m in my home town, for better or for worse. All the memories and relationships I formed pre-transition follow me like ghosts. 
I’m leaving for college in two days, conversationally. 
I see a lot of trans!Peter Parker fics. I’m not dissing them, I love them to bits. But it makes me wonder why fandom is so quick to headcanon Peter as trans instead of one of the other characters. He’s petite, has a higher voice, and has softer features than the other male cast members. I feel like those attributes definitely play a role. It can be easy to see trans men as “uwu soft bois”, or as Men Lite, or as a more palatable version of “normal” (that is to say, cis) men. Those ideas are often flawed and based on transphobic foundations. The reality is, trans men (and by extension, all trans people) have the ability to be indiscernible from their cis counterparts. Everyone likes to think they can pick trans people out from a crowd, but you’d be surprised how quickly I started being read as male. Androcentrism for the win, I guess. 
I won’t be entirely pessimistic. I understand that people my age project onto Peter (I am by no means exempt from that), and that there’s a greater number of young trans people than old, due to a series of depressing reasons. But I still wanted to try a different take on a trans character. 
My experience as a trans man is vastly different than the one I write about here. If anything, I’m closer to fandom’s idea of trans!Peter. My parents were accepting, I had the financial and social means to transition relatively early, and I can fly under the radar easily. The most important difference is the time period. 
I don’t know a lot about the trans experience of the 80s and 90s, which is what Tony would have gone through. I know of one single trans man who began his transition back then, one of the gender studies professors at my university. Even then, he’s from Canada, which I’m assuming has an entirely different culture around trans lives. There aren’t many older trans men. It’s depressing. There’s a lot of reasons for this. I don’t want to get too deep into them, because it only makes me feel sad. The final scene in this fic is extremely self-indulgent with regards to this. I wrote what I needed to hear. 
That’s not to say I don’t relate at all to what I wrote. There are themes that are almost universal for the trans experience. I hope you can parse those out here.
I also wanted to talk about how I showed the change from “Natasha” to Tony. In the early stages of this fic’s development, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to openly say Tony’s deadname (the name trans people are given at birth, and often, but not 100% of the time, change as a part of their transition), but I soon realized that it would make the story much clearer with the inclusion of it. If you’re wondering, I got the name from Earth-3490, where Tony is born a woman (and marries Steve, lol). I chose to show the change between the two with the use of past tense for the first half of the fic, and switching to present for Tony’s life. Often times, it feels like that when you transition. You start living in present tense. 
I also want to make it clear that transitioning isn’t as simple as shown here. From the beginning of mapping out this fic, I was stressed about “Oh, how will he be able to graduate as Tony if he doesn’t start transitioning until after he gets to college,” and “How will Howard react to him coming out?” and “How will he have a playboy persona if he isn’t able to have sex with someone without them knowing?” and a zillion other ideas. It was very freeing for me to let go of some of these obstacles and leave it up to the reader to decide. I alluded to some of the solutions that I came up with, but for the most part, I glossed over the paperwork and bureaucracy aspect to transitioning. But in real life, there are countless red tapes you have to cut for even the simplest of actions. I went to the state court to change my name and sex in March of 2019, and I still have cards in my wallet with my deadname. I had a consult with a plastic surgeon for top surgery (the colloquial name for the double mastectomy that trans men often go through to masculinize their chests. If you’re wondering, genital reconstruction surgery is normally called bottom surgery to mirror this) last December, and I still don’t have a date set. It took me a few months to start T, and I only got it so easily because I went through my unviersity, which does informed consent. Some places have to have proof of 6 months of social transitioning and a letter from a therapist. There is a lot of medical gate keeping in the trans community. I don’t know what I would have done had my parents not been accepting enough to help me through the processes. I am extremely thankful for their support. 
But it’s a lot easier to write about transition happening smoothly. Money helps, which I don’t touch on a lot in this fic, but oh my God, does money help. I’m lucky enough to be able to afford my ~$20 a month T prescription (which I will be taking until the end of my days, likely), and I’m in the process of saving for top surgery. Thankfully with Tony, I can just presto most of the problems away because he’s canonically a billionaire. Eat the rich, folks.
There’s also the intersection with race that is very impactful for trans people, as it is for everyone. Both Tony and I are white, which gives us societal privileges that trans people of color don’t have access to. As well as the fact that transitioning from female to male is a much different experience than transitioning from male to female. We don’t experience trans misogyny, which is a special kind of misogyny specifically related to trans women. (Think of old sitcoms where the joke is that it’s a man dressed in women’s clothing, and that’s what makes it funny. That’s a fairly tame example of trans misogyny. It gets ugly fast.) 
I’m veering dangerously off-topic, but it’s important to talk about. It’s easy for white trans people (and LGBT people as a whole, I suppose) to distance themselves from talking about white privilege or male privilege because they aren’t straight and/or cis. But it’s important to recognize that while we may face unique oppression, we also still benefit from historical white supremacist and patriarchal structures present today in society. 
Sorry, not sorry for getting political. And if I haven’t said it on here, Black lives matter. Of course. 
If you end up having trans-related questions, I want to be a resource for you. Seriously, I’m narcissistic and love talking about myself I don’t mind helping you understand the trans experience. I can’t promise that I know everything, but I also have my own group of trans friends who might know what I don’t, and we can learn together. 
Again, love y’all. Thank you for the continued support you give me. I can’t promise that I’ll go back to my normal level of activity on here, but I might dip my feet back in the pool. <3
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gohyuck · 4 years ago
Note
4+4+17 with haechan
surgical resident!haechan and surgical resident!reader
i’ve been watching a lot of grey’s recently lol. the college is more “just out of med school” and the coming of age is more “feeling pain and coping” because that’s a life skill hard-learned and also because I had a VERY similar request to this one for renjun (found here) and I don’t wanna repeat that
warning: minor character death
4) college
4) coming of age
17) “It feels like I’m suffocating.”
donghyuck’s head is buried in his hands when you find him sitting on a spare gurney in one of the more empty hallways of the hospital. his lab coat is in a wrinkled pile on one side of him, while an empty - and totally crushed - plastic water bottle is on the other.
he doesn’t move at all when you move his lab coat aside to sit down next to him.
“bad day?” you ask, realizing that he isn’t going to tell you to leave like you’d been afraid he would. tentatively, you place a gentle hand on top of his hunched back. at feeling your touch, your boyfriend heaves a heavy sigh.
“dr. jung... let me scrub in on a ventricular restoration to treat heart failure in this heart attack victim today and it-it...” he chokes on his own words, and you find yourself running a hand up and down his back, doing your best to soothe him as he tries to find the words to continue. “the patient was so... young. he’d just had a second kid - a newborn - and he was fine one day and i was cutting into him to look at his heart the next, fuck!”
donghyuck quickly lifts his head out of his hands as he swears, his volume reaching a high out of nowhere as his shoulders stiffen. you pull your hand away from him immediately, as if stung, but you’re quick to place it back in the same place as he deflates in on himself once more.
“dr. jung had to tell the patient’s wife about her loss. maybe if she’d - it she’d cried, or screamed, it would feel less real, but she just stood there and-and-and stared right through jaehyun and right through me for the longest time until she just nodded, sat back down, and asked if she could be alone with her sons for a moment, please, and that she was grateful we’d done all we could. she was the one grieving but in that moment of her strength it... honestly, it felt like i had lost someone, too. she couldn’t cry in front of her boys but i wanted to cry for her it- god, this job fucking sucks. it sucks! it feels like i’m- like i’m suffocating, sometimes.”
you can’t say you aren’t taken aback by donghyuck’s outburst - after all, you’ve spent your entire internships and residencies together, and have been dating for about a year, and he’s never once sounded so distraught about the horrors that come with practicing medicine, specifically with practicing surgery. if anything, he’s one of the most enthusiastic residents you can think of, especially when it comes to traumas and sudden surgeries. while pretty much all surgeons are swift, you’ve never seen someone as quick on their feet as hyuck. he’s saved plenty of lives while having seen plenty of deaths. nothing he’s speaking of is new to him, but the way his tone shifts along the troughs and peaks of his story make you feel as if maybe even the most radiant people have breaking points.
“hyuck... babe...” you start, trailing off almost immediately as you try to think. after a moment - it hits you. you know exactly what to do.
you don’t try to say anything, knowing it’ll be to no avail. he’s justified in how he feels - patient deaths may happen often, but surgeons are expected to grieve them quietly. it’s only natural that everyone has a breaking point with them. hell, you’ve been there - for you, it was a young woman with muscular dystrophy.
you don’t try to say anything - you just stand up and reach your hand out, directly in his line of sight. donghyuck looks up at you, brows furrowed and eyes looking as if he’s drowning inside.
“put your coat on and take my hand,” you wiggle your fingers at him. “i want to show you something.”
he’s dumbfounded.
“this isn’t really the time-”
“i promise you that it is. trust me, yeah?”
donghyuck blinks slowly once, twice, thrice before he sighs and places on hand in yours, using the other to grab onto his lab coat. you smile at him and pull him up to stand beside you. he won’t feel this way forever, but if you can ease the process, you’ll do it.
♕ ♕ ♕
“are you sure we’re allowed in here?” hyuck’s voice is raspy as he whispers directly into your ear. one of his hands is situated on your lower back, though you aren’t sure whether it’s to keep you close or keep you away. you nod your head.
“i was on pediatric service today, it shouldn’t be a problem,” you respond, leading him into the newborn nursery. “besides, we’re doctors. we work here. anyways, most mothers will keep their newborns with them, but sometimes they’ll feel it’s safest for their baby to be in the newborn nursery.”
“some of them are also abandoned babies, right?” he murmurs, following you through the door.
“right. pretty much all of them get adopted reasonably quickly because the hospital is so accredited, and because babies are adopted fast in comparison, anyways. they’ve been given a life, and we give them the ability to live. sounds like a good deal to me, right?” your last sentence deteriorates into a form of baby speak as you talk at - though not to - the sleeping little boy in the crib closest to you.
donghyuck leans over the crib next to the one you’re at, smiling tentatively at the awake baby in it and allowing himself a small laugh when she gurgles back at him. neither of you dare to touch them, but you suspect just seeing them will put your boyfriend in better spirits.
he smiles down at the baby girl for a bit before looking up and slowly surveying the nursery. finally, donghyuck turns to look at you, his soft smile growing slightly.
“it’s kind of cliché to show me the ‘miracle of life’ after i’ve witnessed a death, isn’t it?” he teases, stepping towards you and resting his hands on your waist. you allow yourself a short laugh before responding.
“i was just thinking that babies are cute, to be honest,” you say, and hyuck chuckles softly before leaning and pressing a kiss to your forehead.
“whatever the thought process was, it worked,” he assures you, and you grin at him before looping your arms around his neck for a hug. donghyuck can’t help but move his lips to rest by one of your ear’s before speaking again, his voice low this time.
“you know, these babies are kind of adorable. what say we make one of our own in an on call room some time?”
“you little-” you unwrap yourself from his arms, gently smacking his chest. he notes the blush and the smile on your face, though, and can’t help but place his lips on your forehead again. just as you let your eyes slide shut to savor the moment, a loud - or as loud as one can be around newborns - exclamation startles you.
“lee. (name). what the hell are you two doing?” the two of you find one of the attending pediatric doctors - dr. suh, actually - looking down at the two of you, though there’s no anger in his eyes. still, you and your boyfriend fly apart from each other, rushing to explain yourselves.
“we wanted to experience the miracle of life-” you start.
“babies are really, really, cute-” donghyuck speaks at the same time as you. you both stop abruptly to look at dr. suh, then at each other, then back to dr. suh again. he’s grinning at the two of you, thoroughly entertained. you can feel the gears start to grind in donghyuck’s head. before you can stop him from opening his mouth, he speaks, tone sly when he does.
“actually, (name) and i were thinking that we want to make one of our own-”
“donghyuck!”
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shih-coulda-had-it · 4 years ago
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8 and 60 any bnha ship
8 (Hospital AU) & 60 (Poorly Timed Confession) | any bnha ship [Shizenji]
//
A/n: inaccuracies are possible, but not with the tug-of-war over surgeons!Nana and Chiyo’s favorite OR RN: Sorahiko. I’ve been told that surgeons will privately confer with charge nurses to rearrange the roster according to preference.
//
The whole affair could have been avoided if Sorahiko simply did not work at U.A. General Hospital.
Shuuzenji Chiyo, Chief Surgeon in residence, would not be furiously pining after her fellow doctor if Torino Sorahiko did not exist.
“That’s unfair,” said Sorahiko, OR registered nurse. He was seated across from Chiyo in a corner booth of the cafeteria. The contents of his plastic tray resembled hers, except he had produced his own plastic-wrapped taiyaki from seemingly nowhere.
“It’s not unfair. Any time I think I’ve got an opening to ask her out for a date, you’re in the background silently judging me!”
“Because you suck,” he responded eloquently. “At pick-up lines, specifically. We all worship you at the operating table, Shuuzenji-hakase.”
“I have more game in my pinky finger than you do in your entire body,” Chiyo shot back.
“Then why haven’t you asked her out yet?”
“Ugh!” Chiyo popped open the lid of her bento and retrieved her chopsticks from their paper wrapping. She did not have a good answer for Sorahiko, who politely did not gloat over his victory. This was the real trial, she thought glumly. Because while she and Sorahiko were bosom break-buddies, Sorahiko and Shimura Nana were childhood best friends.
One would think that with Sorahiko as a mutual friend, Chiyo wouldn’t be having a communication issue.
“If you asked me,” said Sorahiko modestly.
“I haven’t.”
Silence fell between them, save for the crackle of Sorahiko opening his beloved treat and the soft murmured conversations of other people in the cafeteria. Chiyo gritted her teeth. She would not be the first to give in; the potential result of Sorahiko’s smug face at her tacit concession was too aggravating to bear.
She poked at her bento’s serving of cold chicken breast, caught a glimpse of the pallid vegetables beneath, and resigned herself to a terrible lunch.
“See,” Sorahiko said, “this is the first problem.”
“Is this your patronizing voice?”
He ignored her acerbic tone, if only because Chiyo hadn’t explicitly told him to shut up and change the subject. “You’re not letting yourself cool off. You need to take a step back and re-evaluate the situation, and then try and ask Shimura out on a date.”
“If I take a step back,” Chiyo complained, “then she’ll never respect me as a fellow surgeon who can go toe-to-toe! She already towers over me! I need my monumental stubborn streak to be unquestionably present!”
“Trust me, it’s undeniable,” he muttered.
Chiyo decided she had to let that comment slide, because Sorahiko was the unfortunate victim of a tug-of-war between her and Shimura. It started months ago, when Shimura was first hired by U.A. General and reunited in the workforce with her best friend. Chiyo hadn’t known anything about it, other than ‘new surgeon, likely capable,’ and wouldn’t have cared if it wasn’t for the sudden absence of Sorahiko from her operating room.
Sorahiko was a good intra-op nurse; he lent a certain focused calm to any surgery, and could always be trusted to provide a helping hand without panicking.
Chiyo hadn’t liked the fact that some uppity new hire had snatched Sorahiko from her hours, so she got him back. Without doing Shimura the polite courtesy of a head’s up. Chiyo had justified this rude action to Nezu, the Dean of Medicine, as: Shimura did it first.
They had yanked Sorahiko back and forth between their teams for a straight week before Chiyo finally got her first glimpse of Shimura.
Blatantly! Talking! To the charge nurse about rotating Sorahiko’s hours yet again!
She bitterly resented Shimura for all of three seconds, because by the fourth second, Chiyo had intruded on her personal space and been overwhelmed by the woman’s sheer presence. Shimura had said, with a toothy smile, “Ah, Shuuzenji-senpai. I was just asking Futaba-san about switching Torino-san’s placement for the next week. You don’t mind, do you?”
Inwardly, Chiyo had screeched about losing Sorahiko from Mr. Morimoto’s heart surgery.
Inwardly, Chiyo’s breath had caught in her lungs, her heart had stuttered, and the very unprofessional thought about wanting to be pinned down and ravished by her fellow surgeon crossed her mind.
That’s my favorite nurse, you can’t just yank him out of rotation and shuffle him where you will, Chiyo wanted to say.
“For a surgeon like you?” she said instead. “By all means.”
It was an unintended slight. A double-edged compliment. One that hinged on vague implications of flattery and insult.
It didn’t help that Chiyo had to tip her chin back to stare Shimura in the eye; it didn’t help that Chiyo had visibly registered Shimura’s generously-endowed figure before yanking her eyes up and up and up--
Of course, rather than accept this graciously, Shimura’s smile had widened into a triumphant grin. As Chief Surgeon, Chiyo couldn’t accept that, so the tug-of-war continued. Futaba became accustomed to being accosted to adjust Torino’s hours, and Sorahiko tried pretending nothing was happening. Occasionally, Chiyo saw Shimura chatting with Sorahiko and laughing, and Chiyo had to pretend she wasn’t a gremlin.
All this to say, now Sorahiko was attempting to give Chiyo dating advice, as though Chiyo hadn’t been trawling the sea for fish since she graduated medical school.
“Just say you like her to her face,” said Sorahiko.
“Where’s the art in that?” she demanded.
“Because,” he opined, “you two are in some serious miscommunication troubles, and it’s in the hospital’s best interests that you aren’t feuding anymore.”
“It’s not a feud.”
“The other nurses think you two are fighting to date me, you know.”
“Would you be open to a threesome?” Chiyo gave Sorahiko a critical once-over, just to cement her views of her favorite nurse. He was tall, like Shimura, and he was crabby and crotchety when he wasn’t forced to be professional, like Chiyo. She didn’t feel any intense desire. Just a certain fondness, cultivated over the inevitable losses in the OR and their shared gallows humor.
Sorahiko considered her right back. Then he said, “No, I think we’d be a nightmare for HR to deal with.”
“HR,” Chiyo grieved. As Chief Surgeon, Chiyo had to maintain certain boundaries between herself and her colleagues. Dating your technical underlings was highly discouraged, and Chiyo’s stance was that she had to be untouchable in order to maintain respect.
There was a reason the other nurses were in awe of Sorahiko.
“Maybe you should leave it alone,” he suggested. “It being, trying to date her.”
“Sorahiko, genuinely, I will beat you over the head with my lunch if you cockblock me,” said Chiyo. “You’ve seen your best friend, right? I have been keeping my nails clipped short ever since I entered medical school, but now I’m this close to asking her if she owns a strap.”
“Don’t,” said Sorahiko, pained by receiving too much information.
“What? What? Are you losing all your respect for me?”
“Keep using me as an outlet for your failed flirtations, and I really will,” he threatened.
“Maybe I should send you back to Shimura’s team, with a note that says, ‘Do you like me? Check yes or yes.’ You can be the peace offering. Is it pimping you out if you manage to sweet-talk her into having lunch with us?”
“Pimp me out?”
“You’re very high-value,” Chiyo reassured him. “You’re worth a cease-fire.”
“I should be the one filing a complaint to HR,” Sorahiko muttered to his bento. “No compensation is worth bearing witness to this.”
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shellyb04 · 5 years ago
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After watching kdramas on the streaming services I had, I kept seeing recommendations for weightlifting fairy, Kim Bok Joo.  So I found Viki.  Where I have been trapped, falling in love with a new show after new show ever since.
Shows and my ratings are below the cut.
Weightlifting Fairy, Kim Bok Joo Kim Bok Joo is a weightlifter who is finally realizing there’s more to life than just sports.  This features crushes, sweet sweet boys, wholesome ladies, and fluffiness. 10/10  This was SO GOOD!  IT still gives me the happiest of feels to even think about it.  I just fell head first into this drama.  If I had one, teeny tiny nitpick, it would be that I think the 2nd lead is a bit wooden in his acting.  I could never get a good read on him. Marriage not dating Fake dating-Plastic surgeon wants his mom off his back and to stay single.  He falls into real feelings.   10/10  I straight up love this one.  There's drama (the hair pulling in the mall made me shout with happiness).  I love fake relationship dramas and that is what this is, until it's not.  I just seriously adore this one. Princess Hours AU History, Girl finds out she’s engaged to crown prince in an arranged marriage.  She marries him and DRAMA ensues. 3/10  I liked parts of this one a lot, but I just felt like it dragged way too long and kept repeating itself.  Plus the 2nd leads Mom was horrible and I felt no pity for her ever.  The kiss in the middle between the leads was extra good though.
Goblin First supernatural kdrama.  An immortal can only die when his “bride” comes along to pull the sword from his chest.  He meets his bride and the Grim Reaper moves in with him. 9/10  It took me a bit to get use to this one as it was my first supernatural drama.  I had to look up some history for it, which I love doing so that was cool.  Once I was in though, the main couple HAD ME!  The Grim Reaper was also fantastic and I wanted more of his friendship with the leads. Super big BROMANCE in this one. I liked all the supporting cast members as well and the last few episodes had me legitimately sobbing.
What's Wrong With secretary Kim Secretary Kim is the perfect secretary until she quits and her boss will do anything to keep her (cause he loves her, but shh, don’t tell him that.) 10/10  The chemistry is on fire, the leads are amazing and I like the secondary and tertiary stories that are going on all around.  This just lit me up from within.  The only problem was I felt like the reveal of the flashback plot took a bit too long toward the end.
Full House (2004 version) Girls house is accidentally sold to famous actor.  Contract marriage ensues.  MORE FAKE DATING!! 9/10  I'm a SUCKER for fake married, so they had an easy lead. (Also a sucker for couples who fight to cover their feelings so add another check mark there) Once again, it took me a few eps to get into it, but once I did, the Main Couple were my jam.  Fighting to cover feelings is something that I understand and these characters do it in spades.  The family dynamic made me super happy as well.  My only complaint is I HATE HATE HATE the female leads “best friends.”
Fated to Love You Accidental pregnancy becomes marriage of convenience becomes so much more. 7/10  While a bunch of the side plots in this are super cringey, I bump it massive points for the middle to the end of the show.  Now do I think some of the stupidity went on a bit too long? Yes.  Just tell the woman you bought her painting and why!  Could have cut most of an episode out.  But the scenes with the Main Character talking to the baby…just ugh!!! And when I realized he had taken the baby furniture into his room….and eating cake with the baby!!  I was a mess for a few of those eps. Also the main guys laugh freaked me out. But be prepared to CRY in a few places.  
All I want for Love is You Follows a couple who go to school together and she follows him to medical school (even though she is scared of blood).  She’s a dumb jock, he’s a smart sweetie and both are crushing on each other, but hiding it. (He had REASONS, but bleh) 9.5/10  I love almost everything about this Cdrama except the last episode.  They cram months and years of stuff into like 5 seconds.  We don't have time to process that the lead character may be dead before oops nope he's back.  Now kiss and run off camera…what?? But everything leading up to that episode was so good.  The horrible were horrible, but ultimately slightly redeemable.  The main guys stole my heart.   It was everything, (just wish the last ep stuck the landing)
1% of Anything  Girl saves an old man, not knowing who he is.  The old man without her knowing makes her a condition of his will.  His grandson has to marry her to inherit.   9/10  Fake RELATIONSHIPS GIVE ME LIFE!  But seriously this one is pretty sweet, once again it does bog down in a couple of places, but overall, super sweet experience
Oh My Venus Girl who was super hot in high school gains weight and then gets dumped by her bf (of like 15 years).  She decides to lose weight.  Her trainer and she fall for each other in the process. 7/10-the Main relationship was great once it got going, but I struggled with the family/company drama.  I got slightly annoyed at the very end of the show when she was bigger again because of her pregnancy and the man wasn't cool with it.
Fight My Way Four best friends (2 girls, 2 boys) live in a apartment block.  Main leads are stuck in dead in jobs, missing out on their dreams.  But not for long.  Also they realize they are stupid in love with each other along the way. 10/10  A bit of a slower start, but after the like second episode I was in love with it.  I wish the girl's plot had been moved a bit faster earlier on, but overall, SO SO GOOD.  Although the ex-girlfriend in this one serves little purpose.  
The World Owes Me a First Love CDrama, Mobile gaming company CEO and his first employee fall in love while dealing with a new dungeon release for their game. 8/10  Perfectly lovely story with sweet people.  I was pleasantly diverted
Love in the Moonlight Historical Drama-Woman poses as man for plot reasons and accidentally becomes a eunich in the palace.  The Crown Prince falls for her anyway. 8/10  Apparently I really struggle with the historical dramas.  I liked most of this one, until the end when it got bogged down in its own plot.
Coffee Prince Girl poses as a guy to get a job.  The boss is super confused, but falling in love anyway. 9/10  A ton of sweet moments with some fake relationship and gender misunderstandings.  I really liked this one over all.  The moment that the main guy kisses the main girl (thinking she's a guy) is one of my favorite moments. Also a later kissing scene is in my top five favorite kdrama kisses.
You're Beautiful Once again, Girl poses as boy, this time as her twin brother, to help him get into a kpop group.  And while there...falls for one of the members.  The boys do figure it out fairly quickly and decide to help her.  6/10  Okay, but nothing special.  The main girl is good, but probably good she never played the brother.  But that was part of what made it weird.  We heard about the brother for the whole series, but we never saw any personality from him, just sort of heard about it.  And the 2nd female was super evil!
Drunken to love you My first Taiwanese drama.  Leads get drunk and married. They stay that way for the plot. 8/10  Stupid in all the best way.  It did drag a bit and the introduction of the character Daniel felt super forced.  Seriously just super campy and I loved it.
Master Devil Do Not Kiss Me Season 1  Cdrama. Poor girl moves into rich house and Rich boy falls for her (with mother rooting for it all)   1/10  The dubbing was bad, the music was bad, the acting was atrocious and I barely made it though and could not do the second season.
My Princess 9/10 Normal girl finds out she's the Princess of Korea. Love the main couple. A few confusing plot bits in the middle and the two politicians add very little to the story. Ending was a bit confusing, is she still the princess or not? Mask 7/10 Woman is forced to take the place of her doppelganger and falls in love with her new husband. melodrama Main couple is too precious for words. Their romance is wonderful. The 2nd leads (and villain couple) are delicious. The sister is layered and understandable while the man takes moustache twirling to a new meaning. Suspicious Partner 10/10 Law student accused of murdering exbf, works with Prosecutor who loses his job over her case. They fall in love and solve murders. Also Super Adorable and ridiculously attractive. A few slow moments made up for by some really intense ones. Could have probably been tightened up into fewer eps, but all bad points made up for by supporting office characters (Investigator Bang and the CEO are the BESTEST)  Bromance!
And that’s what I’ve seen so far.  Currently watching Touch your heart.  Will let you know how it goes!
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