#i’ve been rotating it in my head forever but i think this is close

[seveneyesoup]

okay this is gonna make zero sense but also be stupid wicked obvious BUT the one thing i didn’t understand about bruce was the walls. like he built them, himself, he picked up a trowel and some mortar and started laying bricks and then pretends the walls aren’t there and i couldn’t figure that out BUT it’s bc he needs like. he needs the structure. inside the walls he knows where he stands and he knows what’s what and he knows how the story ends. and that’s why, and he acts like they’re not there because once you’re inside the walls it’s forever unless you’re forgotten. and he won’t be. and so he’s made the world not safe but a world where he can try to make it be. bc that’s the structure. of the world. it’s why he still believes sometimes that he’s still that child because everything that has happened since has been a story. do you understand

[sgtbradfords]

something wild and unruly

Pairing: Tyler Owens x reader

Summary: You and the Tornado Wranglers seek shelter from the tornado inside a theater that was most certainly not up to modern building codes.

Warnings: life or death situation, minor character injury, hurt/comfort, dirty talk, flirting

A/N: It’s been a hot minute since I’ve written an x reader, but after watching the theater scene in Twisters, I just couldn't get this idea out of my head. Enjoy! :)

----------------------------------------------------------

‘This is it.’ you think, pushing yourself further up underneath a row of theater chairs as the sound of a freight train grew louder. 

In the two years that you had been working with The Tornado Wrangler, you had witnessed Tyler and Boone have numerous, exhilarating, and successful intercepts with one of nature’s most destructive forces, but always from the safety of your vehicle several miles away. Your job of keeping up with the ever-evolving data was rather tedious and very important, but it didn’t always require you to be in close proximity with the rotating column, which was something you preferred. Especially when staying back allows you to capture the beauty of the storm from behind a lens. 

For a moment, you allow yourself to go there, to imagine what this tornado would look like from the safety of an open field. In your mind, the massive wedge wasn’t wrapped by sheets of rain, making it one of the most photogenic you had ever captured, even though it was obliterating everything in its path. Through the screen of your camera, you would be able to see whole trees, sheets of metal, planks of wood, as they circulated through the air. 

Dexter yells something from the other end of the row, his words unintelligible as it pulls you out of your reverie, reminding you that you didn't have to imagine the destruction because you were living through it.

You adjust your sweaty palms along the base of the chair in front of you, muttering underneath your breath that everything was going to be okay. It was only going to last a few more seconds, right?

“Shit!” cries out a familiar voice as the screen at the front of the auditorium is pulled away, revealing the beast which rages outside.

Turning your head slightly to the right, you glance towards the floor of the row behind you. 

Tyler is frowning prominently, you might add, but that wasn't what unnerved you. No, what chilled you to the bone was the unmistakable fear in his glaucous colored eyes. Because if the Tyler Owens was scared, then the world as you know it was ending. 

The vibration in your palms intensifies as a decades worth of old dust and stale popcorn is sucked out of the building. There’s a small part of you that hopes that that’s the worst of it, that this little podunk would remain otherwise unscathed. But like a fool, the tornado proves you wrong by pulling the row of chairs in front of you away, leaving you suddenly exposed. 

“[Y/N]!” You hear Tyler yell, but by then it was too late.

You scream, a loud, guttural sound of peril that is lost to the wind as one of your hands loses its grip on the chair. Frantically, you look around for something, anything, that would be worth holding onto in a last-ditch effort in saving your life, choosing to grasp the leather of the armrest that was just within reach. 

The thought that you were quite literally about to die, crosses your mind as your body is lifted off the sticky floor and into the air. 

“Tyler!” you scream, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to hold on for forever. 

You watch as furiously he twists and turns, firmly wrapping the toe of his boot around the base of the chairs behind him, before reaching out towards you.

With both hands, you hold onto his wrist for dear life, your weightless body swaying in the air as more debris flies past you. It feels as though the moment lasts a lifetime, time slowing to a standstill as Tyler attempts to pull you back down, sending an intense throbbing sensation up your arm. 

You don’t know how long you hold on, but just as quickly as it began, did your buoyancy end, sending your body crashing to the floor. 

“Holy shit [Y/N],” Tyler says, kneeling in front of you. “Are you okay?”

“What's your definition of okay?”

It was a miracle that you hadn’t flown out the gaping hole at the front of the theater. So, were you okay? Not by a long shot, but was it better than someone finding your mangled body in a tree somewhere? Absolutely. 

You watch as his concern deepens, his brow pulling further inward as you give him a shaky smile. “I’m fine Cowboy, at least I will be.”

The look understandably fails in easing his worries. He glances towards your thigh. “You’re bleeding.”

“Am I?” You tell him, looking downward to find your jeans now tainted a crimson color thanks to a small jagged wound that ran across your thigh. You should probably be concerned about that, right? “I am. I’m bleeding. And I'm missing a shoe.”

“I need a first aid kit!” Tyler yells a little too loudly, causing you to wince.

“It's not that bad.” To prove a point, you move to your feet, only for your legs to wobble underneath your weight. 

Tyler rolls his eyes, “You resemble a newborn giraffe.”

“A cute newborn giraffe.” You giggle, easing yourself down into a theater chair. “I think I'm in shock.”

Raising a brow, Tyler kneels on the ground before you, first aid kit now in hand. “You think?”

So what if you were in shock or that you had what looked to be an insignificant wound that needed to be treated? There were people out there, in far worse condition than yourself, that needed help. 

“Better think of your happy place sweetheart, cause this is going to burn like hell.”

Tyler murmurs low apologies under his breath when you release a hiss as the alcohol pad sanitizes the cut, but the pain was short-lived as tenderly, he continues to provide treatment. 

You watch him closely, noting his features; the way his nose was furled, the way his lips thinned, or how his brow furrowed as he focused intently on putting a couple butterfly bandages over the open wound. It’s the same look he gets when trying to decipher where the hell the team was going to chase for the day. You shake your head at the imagery.

“All done,” He says, giving you a panty melting smile. Damn him. You can feel your cheeks warm, heart beating wildly inside your chest as you move to your feet. “Does the patient want a sticker or a sucker?”

“What the patient would like is to get out of here.” While you long for the opportunity to take a hot shower, you know that it'll be hours until you find yourself in the bathroom of a motel room. Instead, you brush off the dust off your clothes. “But for future reference,” your lips twitch into a smirk as you lean in close, whispering. “I prefer to do my sucking on my knees.”

It takes everything in you to walk away calmly, to not look back, not even once, but that doesn’t mean the intensity of his stare has no effect on you. More than once, does your knees threaten to buckle, but by some miracle you manage to keep your head held high. 

It was going to be a long couple of hours. 

[landosjpg]

Hi lovely, I’ve been thinking about Lando dating a doctor or nurse and she’s been working crazy shifts on a night rotation. They keep missing eachother and when she doesn’t come home one day, he goes to check up on her and finds her teary eyed staring into space in the on-call room because she just can’t fall asleep on her break 🥹

hi beautiful! this has been sitting on my inbox since forever, i’m so sorry 🥹 i hope you’re doing alright and hope you like it!

you had been having a rough week; work had been too busy for the last couple of days —nights, to be precise —and you were struggling to rest during your breaks, the exhaustion seeming to keep you on your toes more than to tire you. despite of how much you loved tour job, it sometimes got a little too much, and it was one of those weeks.

if that wasn’t enough, lando was also home for just a few days after a triple header and you couldn’t make your schedules match, meaning you had barely spent any time with your boyfriend.

he was patient, however, happy with the text and swift calls during your breaks before you hung up to take a quick, very much needed, nap.

but after a few days, you felt a little overwhelmed, your mind too foggy to even think about checking your phone as you got to the call room. you paced to the small, uncomfortable bed without even thinking about it just to try and get some sleep. to get your mind off things for a little while.

lando had stayed up, as he usually did, hoping to talk to you before calling it a day. but when you didn’t reply to his texts or answer any of his calls, he started getting worried about you. he had seen the exhaustion on your face before you left for work earlier that night, and he couldn’t stop himself from wondering if you were alright.

you always texted him, albeit to wish him a good night of sleep. so, stubborn as he was, he drove to your workplace, just wanting to make sure you were alright.

unable to sleep, you barely heard the door opening when he entered the room, too focused on trying to get some rest to be aware of your surroundings.

“hi, angel,” he softly cooed, walking towards you. you looked over at him, your eyes watery and your expression as exhausted as ever.

he felt his heart break at the sight, the worn out look in your eyes a view he wished to never see again.

“you alright?” he asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed, trying not to disturb you.

“just tired,” you answered with a thin voice, shifting a little closer to him. “what’re you doing here?”

“got worried,” he whispered. “you weren’t answering my calls.”

you mumbled a quiet “sorry”, not having intended to concern him when you ignored your phone.

“it’s okay, baby,” he tried to brush it off, gently patting his lap for you to rest tour head on.

silently you complied, his fingers finding their way to your hair as he started to gently play with some strands, the movement soothing enough to have your eyes fluttering close.

“get some rest, angel,” he murmured as he felt your body relaxing slowly. “i’ll wake you up when your break is over.”

and as you drifted off to sleep, you realized that was all you needed.

[minkkumaz]

SOMEONE OLDER

la poésie romantique. words spoken passionately, yet holding no sincere meaning when spoken by all your past loves. but he held the key to your heart that no man ever could, establishing the belief that you didn't need anyone other than him; not even your own father. because myungho could treat you right, couldn't he?

PAIRING ji myungho x fem!reader WC 1.7k TAGS angst. suggestive themes. toxic college professor myungho. slight manipulation. reader has daddy issues. OMI NOTE this is.. extremely different from anything i've written but i saw an edit of myungho to 'someone older' by isabel larosa and it genuinely changed my life. idk how im gonna get away with this but i do not get paid to gaf END OF STORY!

father never taught you to stray away from boys that wouldn't treat you right, and nobody ever taught boys to hold a heart with care; instead breaking it recklessly. the constant rotation between showing love and begging for forgiveness stripped energy from your body like a piece of clothing. it might as well have been, because that would be easier, right?

maybe it was the way you looked. it was only your left shoulder on full display, as your slightly large tee - shirt clinged onto you. you had only assumed the boy was being nice by placing a calloused hand on your soft skin, pulling up the material slightly before smiling at you. the pull of his lips were sweet, masking something sinister underneath. such a small gesture made you so naive, it was your own fault getting involved with him. those memories became a puddle of mush, left in the past.

but it wasn’t just boys of his stature, it was boys in general. ill thoughts swarmed your head rapidly. a sense of self doubt, regret, vengeance. it left you in a forever state of numbness, zoning out into a false reality you wish you could call your own. a reality with a man that would treat you right.

the sound of gears turning in the clock on the wall was where your focus lay, emerging yourself in the tick tock, tick tock. each of your senses slowly depleted from your body, leaving you with the round device against the off - white wall. 

a hand slightly slamming against the desk in front of you cut into your mind like a knife.

“zoning out again, aren’t we, miss y/n?” professor ji spoke out, eyes like daggers, “see me after class.”

you nodded sheepishly, feeling the weight of the moment escape from your mouth in a breathy exhale as he went back to instruct the class. 

in an attempt to ignore the stares of your peers burning into your skull, you slid down in your seat. maybe they were looks of pity, or quite possibly hints of jealousy. yet time couldn’t pass any quicker, as you returned to the never - ending tick of the clock.

meeting a teacher after the bell rang was never on your roster, let alone with your stupidly attractive english professor. it wasn’t a secret how desirable he was. you could only hear seductive comments made about the way he left his shirt slightly unbuttoned, leather jacket draped around the back of his chair and not his shoulders.

students filed out in a fast - paced manner, painting the room to seem much bigger without as many people crowding the seats. your professor followed quietly behind the crowd, closing the door as soon as everyone had been gone. this left the two of you alone, as well as the familiar clock ticking in the background.

your heart became heavy in your chest, watching his tall figure approach you like a predator stalking it’s prey.

“y/n.” professor ji says your name sternly, “care to tell me how boring my lessons are that you haven’t been paying attention?” 

“professor– it’s not like that, i promise.” you stuttered out in an attempt to defend yourself, “i’ve had a lot on my mind recently and it’s getting the better of me.”

“why don’t you contact the campus counselor? i’m sure mr. yoonsung would love to assist you in whatever problem you have in that head of yours.” he suggests.

“i don’t think i can do that sir. things are a lot more complicated than they might seem. but i swear, i’ll try to keep myself in check.”

“you don’t think you can do that?” he laughs almost mockingly, picking up a pencil on your desk to spin between his bony fingers, “i might need a better reason than that.”

“this is so embarrassing..” you sigh in defeat, “it’s about my love life, professor ji. i don’t mean to be rude, but none of that is quite relevant to you, let alone any teacher on campus. so while i respect your request for me to seek outside advice, that won’t be happening.”

“so i’m just any teacher to you? miss y/n, i’m unsure that you understand who i am to you.”

“what is that supposed to mean?”

“you chose to major in english when you enrolled here. so i’d assume you would put effort not only into this class, but the person teaching it to you.” he states with an almost threatening tone, making your stomach queasy. 

a cat had gotten your tongue, leaving you with nothing to say in a situation where you felt you had to defend yourself. this made his lips perk up into a smile, taking the pencil he was holding to tilt your chin up slightly by the eraser end.

“i’ve only ever wanted to help you, y/n. almost like it’s my job.” he tells you, “you excel in every single assignment i give you, up until recently. dont let a beautiful mind like yours be so easily manipulated by a college frat boy.”

“this isn’t my fault, you make it seem much easier than it sounds.” your bottom lip quivers slightly at the position he has you in, yet also because he’s correct in his assumption.

“when you get an idea in your head, you find it in everything. do you remember who said that quote?”

“victor hugo. we’re learning about works in other languages to broaden our knowledge, so of course i remember.”

“your idea of love is tainted, hence why you let yourself get hurt. am i wrong?” he reads you like a book.

you nod at him, feeling your throat become dry. each of your senses were heightened, the cold rubber eraser under your chin being replaced by the tip of his finger. the state of your mind was vulnerable, crowded only by the idea of him and his frigid gaze.

a shiver ran down your spine as if it was being chased, his face creeping closer to yours until it was inches apart. 

“do you know what you want in a relationship?” he spoke, breath barely grazing against your lips because of the remaining distance. when you didn’t speak, his face contorted into an expression just a little bit colder, “you respond to authority when spoken to. don’t jeopardize your status in my class because you can’t answer a simple question. remember that i just want to help you.”

“i want someone to care for me as much as i care for them.” you finally let out with a sob, guilt washing over you for not giving a clearer response. 

“that was easy, wasn’t it? my poor y/n, not being treated properly because nobody quite knows how to.” he chuckles lowly, wiping a singular tear that rolled down your cheeks, “now that you know what you want, what do you need?”

“i– i don’t know, professor ji.” you pout.

“you already said it out loud. use your words to tell me.” his hand traveled around to the back of your head, gripping at your hair to move your head more upwards.

“i think i need someone older.” your words sounded distressed, yet they were all he needed to hear. 

“there you go.” he lets go of your hair, a switch in demeanor as he smiles at you, “come here.”

walking back to his desk, he leaves you in a pile of muck and confusion at your own. for someone you can hardly read, something about him makes you want to learn. 

you scoot your chair back, the sound of it scraping against the hard floors making you wince slightly. with each step approaching him, your heartbeat quickened. professor ji had always been an enigmatic figure on campus. young, passionate in his interests, and everything you were starting to think you needed in someone. 

maybe you wanted him to be passionate in you. 

“is this wrong?” you ask quietly, now face to face with him.

“there’s a flaw in your question, especially since you already know the answer, miss y/n.” he coos, reaching to move a loose strand of hair away from your face, “father wouldn’t tell you right from wrong. such a terrible man, isn’t he? so let me tell you what you deserve to hear.” 

“he’s not terrible, he just loves me differently.” you weren’t sure why you felt the need to defend your dad, but words came out before you could think.

“don’t get it twisted; those who love you warn you about the consequences others actions could have on a person. trust that i could protect you more than any man could.” he said with envy underlying his tone.

“yes, sir.” you shake your head yes, tears starting to burn your eyes with what you couldn’t determine if it was happiness or culpability.

“call me myungho.” he cupped your cheeks with his calloused hands, rough against your soft skin, “now let me take care of you, then you could take the weight off my shoulders.”

myungho brought your face closer to his, almost immediately closing the gap that separated the boundaries between professor and student. this barrier was destroyed in the span of seconds, his lips locking perfectly with yours. they were soft, barely chapped, and meant for you.

it was a rhythmic harmony that flowed perfectly like words on a page, pulling you deeper and deeper until you couldn’t pull away; too infatuated to stop and so unaware you couldn’t bother to give a shit at the thought of someone walking in.

he had you right where he wanted you, the objective that nobody other than him could hold your heart careful enough not to split it in half. 

the kiss escalated, making your lips puffy and red as they were attacked by his. one of myungho’s hands wrapped around your waist to pull you close. your arms were tucked into your chest, unsure where to put them.

once he finally pulled away from you, a string of saliva kept both of you attached, breaking away quickly. his eyes were dark, yet not in a way that would seem intimidating. a look you’ve never seen before.

you were ready to find out.

© 2023 minkkumaz, all rights reserved support your writers by reblogging + giving feedback! it is greatly encouraged and appreciated. thank you! → why feedback + reblogging is so important. ~ (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ if you'd like, donate to minkkumaz !

[goosewriting]

Dating Pyre

for some reason the ask disappeared from my inbox ;;-;; but luckily i had written it down. this was requested by anon (as a reply to this post):

In that case, I'd love general relationship headcanons with pyre? Just reader being all mushy mushy with him omg If this doesn't spark any inspiration though, feel free to ignore :))

summary: general relationship headcanons with Pyre

relationship: Commander Pyre x gn!reader

warnings: none

word count: 1.1k

A/N: im so sorry this took forever! i’ve been thinking about this ask every single day. i hoped that doing some good ol’ bullet list headcanons could get me back into writing, and i think it worked :D thank you sm for the request and the patience dear anon! hope you like it<3

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

— — —

Pyre likes to be in control.

He’s protective without being smothering.

He does have a reputation to uphold to after all, being a commander and everything

so PDA is off the table.

Any flirty comments and intimate moments are reserved for behind closed doors.

If you’re a civilian, he just straight up hires you so you can go with him wherever he’s deployed. You end up being his assistant, secretary or get a job at the hangar if you’re anything adjacent to engineering.

If you’re enlisted as a stormtrooper, he makes sure you’re always in his assigned squadron.

He definitely uses his position to make things easier for you if anything happens.

You’re not feeling well? He’s literally your boss, and you also share a bed, so he brings you tea and lets you sleep in.

Someone treats you unjustly? They’re getting a scolding from the commander before their shift ends.

You complain about it being a little cold in your office because the heater broke down and they haven’t sent anyone to fix it yet? It’s not only fixed by the next rotation, you also get an apology letter from the maintenance department. 

All these gestures to accommodate you don’t come without consequences, though; he might have received a warning or two from his superiors after pulling something which was evidently in your favour.

You keep telling him to treat you like all other employees, but he just can’t help it. He wants you to be safe and comfortable.

Which really stems from a deep fear of you leaving him.

Pyre isn’t necessarily emotionally constipated or unavailable, but he has trouble processing Big Feelings sometimes, especially when you’re nearby.

He’s scared he’ll lash out at you and take out his anger on you when a mission went badly, or when he’s having a bad day, and that you’ll be scared of him or even disgusted by him.

So before he gets to his quarters in the evening, he’ll try to let off all the pent-up steam; be it more proactively through physical exercises, or sometimes by lashing out at the poor stormtrooper that happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. He also may or may not have put a few mouse droids out of commission.

Since he does all this when you’re not around, it takes you some time to not only come to know of his actions, but even more to figure out what’s happening.

Once you sit him down to assure him that he’s allowed to have bad days and be frustrated and angry, and that you’re not going to think less of him because of it, he learns to deal with it better.

If it isn’t regarding any confidential missions, he might actually seek out your advice on how to deal with things, and you’re more than happy to help.

Once the doors are closed and the helmet comes off, though, it’s like he’s a different man.

When you sleep, he clings onto you.

He loves to wind down by sitting down on the floor between your legs with his back to you as you sit on the couch, his head resting on one of your thighs as you run your fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp. You tell him about your day while you do this. He sits there with his eyes closed and letting out the occasional grunt or sigh, but be assured he’s listening intently, mentally making notes here and there to ask you about later on.

Pyre is very thorough with the upkeep of his golden armour and equipment, and you’re the only one allowed to clean his helmet and blaster in the rare occasion he’s unable to do it himself.

As for pet names, if you’re into that, I think he’d call you sweetheart or darling. You mostly stick to his first name since you’re one of the very few who even knows it, but you like to call him Commander Tin Can when you tease him.

He’s also very attentive to your physical needs, and quickly picked up on your cues for hunger, sleep, etc. Sometimes it seems like he knows what you want even before you realise yourself.

As for himself, it took a while for you to learn how to read him. When in commander mode, he’s quite stoic and distant. But the moment it’s just the two of you, he relaxes. It’s subtle, but you learned to read his body language, and now you also notice when he comes home stiff or upset.

Once you both learn how to communicate properly, your arguments drop to basically zero.

Every now and then though, just to get a reaction out of him, you’ll place a kiss on the visor of his helmet after he’s done cleaning and polishing it; a little surprise for him to find the next morning. It’s always fun to see his conflict as he feels bad for wiping it away, but he’s also a bit rattled at the sight of his helmet not being spotless like he left it. He’d always walk up to you and tell you that “if you wanted to kiss him so badly, then you should do it properly instead”, right before pinning you to the wall and taking his sweet time with you.

All in all, Pyre is a pretty solid partner, always looking out for you. Of course, you try your best to return the favour, which mostly comes in the shape of words of reassurance and soft caresses.

One sure way to disarm him completely when you’re both in bed and he can’t sleep, is by placing kiss after kiss all over his face. The way he sighs and melts into your touch is intoxicating.

One time you were in the hangar talking to Pyre, talking something over before he leaves on a shuttle. Once you were done and he was about to turn around to go up the ramp to the ship, you said your goodbyes and a “take care, I love you” slipped out right as two stormtroopers were walking past you two with some crates. All four of you froze on the spot; it wasn’t a secret that you and the commander were a thing, but Pyre had made it clear from the start that he wouldn’t want this kind of interactions to reach prying ears or eyes. It was your first and only slip-up, so you were unsure of how he would react, and what to do. One of the troopers cleared their throat and carried on as if nothing had happened, the other one following suit. Once they were out of earshot, you were about to apologise to him, but with his visor cast down to the floor, he wordlessly took your hand in his and gave it a squeeze before effectively turning around and boarding the ship. Unbeknownst to you, that man was sporting a violent blush underneath the helmet.

~~~~~

[link to join the taglist in my pinned post!]

[princepestilence]

NYR: June in review.

Post-June horoscope: "Performance without rehearsal. Body without alterations. Head without premeditation. I know nothing of the role I play. I only know it’s mine. I can’t exchange it. I have to guess on the spot just what this play’s all about. Ill-prepared for the privilege of living, I can barely keep up with the pace that the action demands. I improvise, although I loathe improvisation. ... I’m standing on the set and I see how strong it is. The props are surprisingly precise. The machine rotating the stage has been around even longer. The farthest galaxies have been turned on. Oh no, there’s no question, this must be the premiere. And whatever I do will become forever what I’ve done.”

A little late to it this month. This year is disappearing very fast. I don't think any other year has gone quite so quickly? But I suppose a lot is happening all the time, so maybe that's part of it. For example:

Decorate room. I've put a lot of art up above my desk now, which I love so much. It's made it such a bright spot in my room when I wake up, or when I'm doing things (such as this right now) at my desk, and I look up and see all this that I love. There's still space for more, so I will keep adding to it. .

Thesis work. I've gotten a lot done, which feels good. Especially since I spent a week totally out of it from a cold. That was time down the drain, and very annoying, but I can still catch up and stay on track so it's fine. .

Go on a day trip. A fun little break in routine! I saw a handsome tree-kangaroo up close and the devils decided to be active while I was there, which was an unexpected delight. .

See family + friends. Always more to see, but it's nice to see the ones I can when we get the chance. .

Played Dread for the first time. The game unfortunately did not go great (the friend GMing it was inexperienced, didn't really read / understand the rules and mechanics, and I think is maybe too much into D&D in a way didn't mesh with the goals of Dread) -- but the whole time it reminded me how much I love GMing for the game and how badly I would like to do that again, so I'm going to do that as soon as I can once the dissertation is submitted. .

See some live music. The band played mum's funeral song as their finale, which in my heart I always knew they would. She would have loved it. .

Second work anniversary. Time goes on! It's been two years since I started at my "new" job, so now it is just my job, and I've found my feet with it and started making it fit me instead of the other way around. I am very very happy here.

In July, I will:

Complete the full final draft of my thesis. I'll be sending this draft to my supervisor on Sunday 21 July -- so pretty much two weeks from now. I still feel so far from where it needs to be, but I am electing to be energised by this anxiety instead of paralysed. I am also so so excited to be so close to really and truly finished. The video-games call to me. The time with my friends calls to me. The fiction manuscripts I want to write call to me. They are all calling to me and I am yelling back I know! I know! I'm trying, god, why don't you do this and see how long it takes you. But alas. I am to blame for all of it, all of the time. .

Facilitate the writers festival panel. Speaking of things that take up my time which I am to be blamed for: in a week, I'll be hosting a fun panel at a writing festival and talking to some authors about fairytales. No-one made me do this. I was asked to do it and I said yes, and so have effectively wiped a valuable day of thesis work off the calendar. On the bright side, I like to be paid to do things I already want to do. .

Doing right by my health. Sort of, anyway. I have a general check-up booked for later this month, and yesterday had my first meeting with someone to talk about grief and all that. More to do on this front, of course, but when isn't that true.

[cclikechanelduh]

That post made me cry….

There have been so many instances where I have wished this world burn to the ground. That every single thing accomplished thus far vanish and that we are no longer. It’s hard when the reality I lived in is no more. When I sit at work and see things I cannot stop physically. Where I’ve seen children take their last breathe and the wake of agony they leave for those who love them. I want to reach to this point where my love for the world isn’t tied to my hate for humanities failure. Where I am not in constant fear of the impending doom of where we are headed. Instead focusing on the things I admire daily. Loving myself, loving earth, loving others.

On my drives to work in the morning there’s a ramp I take in where the sky looks as if it’s on display for me. The big clouds surrounded by the pink and blue hues of the morning are the best thing I see. The walk to work I sometimes close my eyes and bask in the suns warmth and think to myself. God I’d really miss the sun if one day it didn’t shine. I have a specific The Weeknd playlist for when it rains. As I leave home I always say “god please keep my family safe” like a mantra no, a prayer. It’s short and not grand but the weight of those words carry the love I have for them. I often go outside after work while working with clay and look up at the sunset filled sky and think that we live in the most beautiful place. That sunset can only be seen here in my little backyard. Our tree that also sits in our backyard is magnificent. One day it’s leafless, cold, hibernating. The next it’s alive, green and free.

All these things add up to my love for this world and the people in it. I have learned so much over the last few years and especially the last six months. Dropping the blindfold is painful when my entire reality only limited itself to my bubble. However sight is such a beautiful thing and I’m forever grateful that out of the horrible things I’ve seen I am changed for the better.

Change isn’t overnight nor will it be this grand finale. It’s constant like the earths rotation does around the suns orbit. We are just a speck on the grand scheme of things and I must learn to navigate my love for life and regain a reality. My reality. Optimism has always been an integral part of who I am. She’s not gone. Just lost at the moment.

[doktordismemberment]

Roundup

I haven’t done one of these roundups in forever but I’m hurt and bored so here ya go… A bunch of random shit I’ve been into lately.

-

Muzak:

Strawberry Alarm Clock - Dunno what to tell you… “Incense and Peppermints” popped into my head the other day and I’ve been on a massive 60’s kick ever since. YMMV but I love this shit.

-

The Beach Boys - Same as above. With all these old psych bands it’s the production that gets me more than anything else… Lush, dense, and sun dappled. Soundtrack to an endless summer that is honestly pretty far removed from the seedy drug crazed madmen that usually made music like this. Case in point: “Never Learn Not To Love” was co-written by Charles Manson.

-

Scorpions - Straight up, “Sails of Charon” is one of the greatest songs ever written. Period. I love the first couple albums where they were more of a krautrock thing too.

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Sacrilege - I still listen to heavy shit I swear… And this week it’s been a lot of Sacrilege and their absolutely unfuckwithable “Within the Prophecy” LP. Equal parts UK crust, thrash metal, and maybe just a touch of 80's Black Sabbath, all topped with killer female vocals.

-

English Dogs - “Where Legend Began” is right up there with Broken Bones “Bonecrusher” as far as my favorite punk and thrash albums go. “Eye of Shaman.” What an absolute ripper that song is.

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Bathory - I was feeling kind of burnt out on music a while back and went digging back into a lot of the shit I liked when I was first getting into heavy music. Kind of rediscovered Bathory in the process and they’ve been in heavy rotation ever since. I think “Hammerheart” is my favorite, followed closely by “Twilight of the Gods” and “Under the sign.”

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Sepultura - Same deal as above. Rediscovering “Arise” and “Beneath the Remains” a while back reminded me that I still love heavy metal even if 7/10 of the people involved with it annoy the shit outta me.

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Shadow Project - Post-Christian Death Rozz Williams... Unpopular opinion but I honestly like Shadow Project better than even the classic Christian Death albums.

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Black Sabbath - I’ve been weirdly obsessed with the late 80s Tony Martin Sabbath stuff lately. Headless Cross and Tyr are way better albums than I gave them credit for when I was a kid.

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Incantation - Heavy. Ugly. Gross.

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Video Games:

Jitsu Squad

Battle Axe

Elden Ring

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Reading:

Age of Apocalypse Omnibus

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Podcasts/ Movies/ Tube:

Cryptonaut Podcast

Monsters Among Us Podcast

Shadow (2018)

La Mansion de las 7 Momias

Las Vampiras

-

[hsfan94]

A short little blurb for this photo.

(741 words)

It was Harry’s turn to visit Y/N this weekend. She was in her last year of university so they rotated on who went to see the other. She had been out in the living room finishing up all the work she was behind on due to going to a few of his New York shows this past month. When she finally shut her laptop it was past two in the morning and exhaustion seeped through every one of her pores. She felt like shit because they barely got to spend time together. She had a waitressing shift right after he got there and then she had two huge assignments past due that she needed to finish. She wants to be in the same business as Harry after she graduates and despite him offering to help her so she doesn’t have to spread herself so thin she doesn’t want the world to see her as a gold digger.

She got up and put her dishes in the sink and turned out the lights. She headed down the hall to her bedroom and opened the door very softly. Her view immediately filled with her Harry sleeping soundly, snuggled up close to the wall, leaving the easily accessible spot for her. Her heart melted and broke at the same time. She wasn’t the only one who was spreading herself thin. He must have been so exhausted when he got here and she’s ignored him the whole time.

She climbed in next to him as softly as possible and as if in instinct his arm wrapped around her. She brushed his hair away from his face and kissed his cheek. She just wanted to look at him for a bit. He was truly beautiful. Sure the fatigue clung to his features noticeably but he was still the most beautiful creature to her. She found herself feeling relieved that they had managed to keep their relationship a secret because they had enough to worry about without the stress of the public knowing.

As she laid staring at him she started to cry.

“What's wrong, lovie?” he said, eyes still closed.

“Nothing, I'm sorry I woke you. Go back to sleep.”

“I’m not sorry. I’ve been waiting to see that pretty face,” he said, opening his eyes, “What’s got you all worked up?”

“This. Us. Life. I just want to have normal amounts of time with you. I love you so much and no amount of time will ever be enough. But I’m also just so stressed all the time.”

“I know, baby, I feel that way too. But, this stealing pockets of time won’t last forever, just a few more months yeah? As far as the rest, why won’t you let me help you? If quitting your job would help you with school, why won’t you let me support you?” He was rotating between stroking her cheek and rubbing her shoulders and back.

“I don’t want anyone to think I’m using you.”

“No one will know, baby.”

“The public won’t but that’s not what I’m worried about. I don’t want your family and friends to think that. I value their opinion.” She kissed his hand as it passed her lips.

“No one will know. Not even them. It is not anyone’s business how I want to take care of my girl. You work so hard, love, everyone knows that. Let me reward you for it.”

“Okay. What should I do then? Quit my job? Should I give them notice or call in the morning so we can make up for tonight?” She smiled as a cheeky look came across his face.

“I certainly wouldn’t mind you quitting tomorrow. I sure was disappointed that I didn’t get to worship you tonight. I’d love to make up for it all day long.” He kissed her lips once.

“Sounds good to me.” Her smile faltered again.

“Don’t do that. Don’t get stuck in your head. I want to take care of you because you take good care of me.”

“I don’t deserve you.” She looked down at their entwined hands.

“Yes you do. I don’t deserve you. You’re smart, sexy, kind, strong and selfless. There’s no one like you.” He kissed her again.

“I love you H.”

“Love you more.”

“Not possible.”

He didn’t argue like he normally would, just pulled her in closer and kissed her forehead.

“Goodnight, baby,” he whispered and they drifted off to sleep.

[chippedaxe]

𝒻𝑜𝓇𝒷𝒾𝒹𝒹𝑒𝓃 𝒻𝓇𝓊𝒾𝓉

┌─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.☪ .* :☆ﾟ. ───┐

Warning(s): NSFW! Minors dni, coarse language, praising, virginity, crying, size kink, I didn't edit this.

Pairing: c!Dream XD x Reader

Synopsis: You two are forbidden lovers, A god can not be with a human. You give the god your virginity (the purest thing you can offer) in order to lose your mortality.

Pronouns: AFAB they/them

Word count: 1.5K

└─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.☪ .* :☆ﾟ. ───┘

Your hands were soft and your skin was thin, this was another small reminder to the god that you are indeed a human and you (like any other human) are weak. "My dear, are you sure you do not require netherite armor? Your fingers are starting to bruise.." The god pondered with concern.

"My fingers aren't bruising, they're just turning slightly red from the cold. I'll be fine, stop worrying so much, it's not like I'm going to die out of nowhere" You shrugged it off and got back to picking at the grass "Why do you harm earth like that?" DreamXD flew beside you, his head rotating to look down on you.

"It'll grow back" you respond nonchalantly "That's not the point, why're you pulling it out?" DreamXD reminded you of a curious bird, "I guess I just like the feeling of ripping it out? I don't know, it's just a habit I picked up" You answered "You should stop or else the grass will start picking at you" The god poked at you jokingly "hey! Watch your hands" you pushed him away playfully.

DreamXD fell back into the grass and laughed "hah! You're my favorite little human, I love you" DreamXD reached out to touch your hair "I love you too, my god" you kiss his hand as it caresses your face. "I wish we didn't have to move around so much, I really enjoy these moments we have together" you sighed "I want to give you the world, I really do but I'm not allowed to have such affiliations with humans" The god lowered his head and turned away sadly.

"Then I wish I wasn't human, I'd be a stinking chicken if it allowed me to see you more, my love" you spoke your heart out as you were basically begging the god not to leave you alone "That's not how the world works, my dear. You can't just suddenly go changing what you are" DreamXD touched your face with his large hand "Why not? Why can't you grant me this one wish? You're meant to be a god, please do this for us!" You pleaded.

"I would get in a lot of trouble for doing such a thing to a human like you, why couldn't you of fallen for my human counterpart, my dear? Why'd you have to make this so hard on us?" DreamXD pouted "He's different, he's not like you" you quickly spat back out "you said you'd give the world for me!" you exclaimed "so- give me immortality! make me like you- what do I have to do??" You were trying so hard.

"I think.." DreamXD began to speak as he thought to himself, his wings lifted to scratch his head gently "yes.. That might work.." His glowing eyes glanced up to meet yours "I think if you give me something, I'll be able to turn you into some kind of higher being. I'm not sure what you'll be if you turn out to be a god or just some weird demi-god.."

You smiled and wrapped your arms around him happily, you would give your god anything to be with him "Anything! What do you need, my soul?" you were so eager and precious "You're so pure darling~ But no.. I need something very important" DreamXD lifted your chin with his slender fingers and he leaned in to kiss you.

"Y/n, I need to take your virginity" your face went red as the god explained what he needed from you "It's one of the most purest things you can offer to a god which makes it so valuable, with your gift I will be able to bestow upon you an amazing blessing.." He held you in his many pairs of arms, you were so tiny and small compared to him.

"Anything for you.." You whispered to him, your hands wrapping around his neck.

DreamXD's hands moved under your shirt to touch your skin, he hummed in some sort of delight when he felt your warm chest "you feel so warm~" he smiled "DreamXD-" you breathed out his name as he was slowly touching and praising you. "S-Shouldn't I be worshiping you instead?" you gulped "No, don't worry about pleasing me, dear" he kissed your forehead and continued his actions.

The God had another set of his arms grasp onto your legs, his hands traveling upwards to grab onto the soft flesh of your thighs "ah!" you gasped meekly when his fingertips dug in gently. His other hands feeling up your chest and his fingers dancing along your back, trailing up your spine.

You sheepishly moved your arms from the god to unbutton your shirt, your chest now revealed to the god. DreamXD licked his lips before leaning in and peppering kisses across your collarbone and neck, his hands not leaving your soft mounds of skin. "DreamXD- you're so amazing.." you mumbled quietly.

"you're so soft and perfect, I couldn't want any other creature but you.." DreamXD closed his eyes and inhaled your scent. Your hands moved to start taking off your bottoms, your underwear sliding down with them "you're such a good human for presenting yourself to your god without him having to ask~"

DreamXD wasted no more time and his hand found its way to your clit, his thumb brushing over it gently which made you yelp "ah!" you jumped from the sudden pleasure. The God took notice of this and used one set of his arms to hold you down, another hand using its fingers to stretch you open.

You squealed and tried to move away "is this too much for you? We can always try another time" DreamXD offered to stop "No- No- please don't stop! I just.. I've never really put anything inside before" you admitted embarrassedly "I'll go a bit slower for you then, my dear" The god continued but slowly this time, one of his fingers curling up inside of you.

"I fear you're not going to be able to fit on my cock, you're so small compared to me and you're barely taking my fingers" You whined as you heard him say that, you wanted needed him to fuck you and take your virginity. "Please try!" You exclaimed while trying to fuck yourself on his fingers to make a point that maybe you would be able to take his big length.

"Y- you're a god.. Can't you do anything to help?" you asked "I can't exploit my powers for things like this" DreamXD crossed his arms, you huffed "p- please try to fuck me now, please" You pleaded "I worry I'll hurt you" DreamXD was hesitant "then I'll do it" you stood up in his lap.

You leaned forward and moved his cloak out of the way, your hands working the zipper down to let his cock spring out. Your eyes went wide as you saw how big he was down there, he was right! How in the fuck could you fit this inside?? You gulped nervously and slowly got on top of him, his rod sliding in painfully slow.

You didn't expect him to be able to bottom out but he finally did, his whole thing was now inside of you and you were on the verge of tears. "I can see that you're in pain, let's just stop, we can try another day" DreamXD wiped your tears away "It's fine- this is a normal thing, it's normal to hurt.. Let's just wait it out for a bit please" DreamXD listened to you and waited for you to get adjusted.

You tried to move while on his cock but it seemed close to impossible with how much he had you filled up "um.. could you please- f- fuck me?" You laughed awkwardly, you wanted to desperately take control and fuck yourself on him but you literally couldn't! "Anything for you my dear" The God moved so he was now thrusting into you gently.

You whined and squealed in pleasure "Ah! W0 Woah!" You squirmed in his touch, his hands were on your hips to keep you steady as he kept fucking into your cunny. "It feels so good, thank you so much for your perfect offering.. Your body is the most perfect temple that I've ever been in" DreamXD kissed you passionately as he kept going.

His hips shuddered against yours, his eyes dimming for just a moment as he was fucking you "ah.. So good, please cum for me.." DreamXD wrapped a pair of hands around your waist and another pair was playing with your tits, "I- I feel weird!" you told the godly man "that's good, release that pressure you have building up" DreamXD went faster as he was close.

You covered your mouth as your back arched, your legs were shaking so much as your pussy spasmed around his cock and you came. "FUCK" DreamXD cursed out as he came right after you, coating your insides with some kind of godlike sperm. "C- Can we be together forever now.. Please?" you huffed out on the ground as you tried to catch your breath "Forever and ever my dear, you're my god" he then gave you one final kiss as you drifted into sleep.

━━━━━━♡♥♡━━━━━━

A/n: This is kinda my first post on here so sorry if it's bad 😢 It's also been a while since I wrote fanfiction and tbh I'm a bit intimidated??? Anyways thank u sm for reading !!

[flightlessangelwings]

Finish Him

Benny Miller x fem!reader x Frankie Morales 

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: slight smut (18+ only), cockwarming, bisexual MMF threesome, fluff, lots of kisses, established relationship, no use of y/n, you can tell I got very nostalgic while writing this lol

Notes: Written for Writer Wednesday (tagging @autumnleaves1991-blog​ and @clydesducktape​)! I saw this photo and immediately thought of Messy Pile of Affection universe! This takes place in that story, but this can be read on its own. Taglists are in the reblog, please fill out the google form on my masterlist if you’d like to be added! Or you can also follow my update blog @flightlessangelwings-updates​ and turn on post notifications to stay updated! Enjoy!

~

“Hey guys look at that,” you exclaimed as you tugged on Frankie and Benny’s hands.

The three of you were out on a date night and it was a perfect evening. The weather was just to your liking, the restaurant was delicious, and the company was perfect. Ever since you, Frankie and Benny had become an official thruple, things couldn’t be better. You were all happier than you had ever been in your lives, and you felt safe and secure with your boys.

As you all walked down the street after dinner, you noticed a new little arcade that recently opened up. The flashing lights and retro colors caught your eye immediately and a wave of nostalgia ran through you.

“How about we go check that out?” Frankie suggested, “I haven’t been to an arcade in so long.”

“Me either,” Benny chimed in as he couldn’t contain his excitement. Benny was usually more physical, with being a professional fighter and all, but he still wasn’t able to resist a good old arcade game either.

Laughter erupted between the three of you as you all bounced into the arcade. The moment you all walked through the doors, however, you all felt the breath leave your lungs as you felt like you were transported back in time. It felt like the old place you used to go to as a kid, and you thought you would cry from the memories.

“You alright baby?” Frankie whispered in your ear.

You glanced between your boys who both had looks of concern on their faces, “Fine,” you breathed as you gave their hands a squeeze, “Just thinking about how long it’s been since I’ve been to an arcade and how much fun it used to be.”

“Well we’ll make it just as fun now,” Benny chimed up as he dragged you and Frankie towards the machines.

Both you and Frankie rolled your eyes as Benny dropped your hand and went right for a classic Street Fighter game. But at the same time, you couldn’t help but giggle as he went right for a fighting game. You shared a glance with Frankie before you let his hand go as well as you went for a Ms Pac Man first. Frankie picked an old racing game from the 80s that you couldn’t remember the name of and told you that he used to play it as a child all the time.

All of you suddenly felt like kids again as you let yourselves get enthralled in the bright colors of the games. Once you finished your game, you moved over and watched Frankie as he raced against the computer players and easily won.

“Guess you haven’t lost your touch then, Frankie,” you murmured as you kissed his cheek.

“Neither have I!” Benny hollered as he raised his arms up in victory, “Now where’s my kiss?” he joked.

Again, you and Frankie rolled your eyes playfully before you both gave him a soft kiss on either cheek. Benny beamed at both of you as he leaned in and kissed you more passionately on the lips before he turned and did the same to Frankie. You felt the tension rise between the three of you as the moment turned more heated, but before it escalated any further, another game caught Benny’s eye and he ran off in that direction.

“After you,” Frankie extended his arm out as you both followed loosely behind Benny and found other games to play.

You all spent hours in the arcade as you rotated between different games. Most you all were familiar with, like Asteroid and Donkey Kong, but you also found more obscure ones that you hadn’t heard of before. Of course, you also shoved the boys into a photo booth that caught your eye and took a few rolls of silly photos that you all would cherish forever. 

“This one is my favorite,” you commented in a soft tone as you pointed to the one where you all hugged each other and your faces were smushed together. It was cute and silly and perfectly encapsulated the relationship between the three of you.

“I like this one,” Benny pointed to the one where you and he kissed Frankie on either side of his face, “What about you, Fish?”

Frankie mulled over the pictures and picked the one where you were in the middle and cupped their faces on either side of you while they both looked lovingly at you and each other, “This one,” he breathed.

A calmness came over the three of you as you looked at the photos in your hands. Both Frankie and Benny covered your hands with theirs as they each took a sheet of pictures and you all shoved them in your pockets. You gave each of your boys a quick kiss before you turned your attention back to the wall of games.

“How about one last game before we head out?”

Benny’s face lit up as his eyes fell on a certain game in particular, “Hey Fish, how about a game of Mortal Kombat?”

A mischievous look came across Frankie’s face as he rolled his sleeves up, “You’re on!”

You watched as they selected their characters and readied their stances. Both men were so focused on the screen in front of them that they didn’t hear you walk up behind them. It was then that you remembered that they both had a serious side, and you darted your eyes between them and saw the fire that burned there. Benny and Frankie had their hands wrapped around the control stick and their other hands were splayed across the panel with their fingers on the buttons. You bit your lip as your eyes trailed up and down their arms and you couldn’t help but get turned on by their intensity.

That was when you got a glimmer of mischievousness in your own eyes and you leaned in between them, “Winner gets to cockwarm in my pussy tonight.”

They both gasped your name and faltered at your words before they looked at you with wide eyes. But they soon turned sharp in their gazes again as the friendly competition started.

You cheered them both on as they fought intensely on the small pixelated screen. As much as you would have liked to play too, this made it just as much fun for you as well. Plus, you knew that neither of them were truly the loser anyway since you all shared your affections equally. It was just a way for you to get them riled up for when you all got home later.

“Finish him!” Benny shouted as he quickly tapped the buttons for his winning attack combo and Frankie’s character lay on the ground in a bloody pile.

“Kitana wins,” he cheered himself in victory.

“I can’t believe you picked her to play as,” you playfully teased him as you kissed his cheek.

“She’s a badass, baby,” Benny defended himself, “Besides, I know she’s your favorite character,” he then turned to Frankie and placed a hand on his shoulder, “Good game babe. My boyfriend was a worthy opponent.”

Frankie looked at him with those soft eyes as he faked a pout, but he couldn’t hold it for long and all three of you burst into laughter.

“Let’s go home,” you whispered to them as you took their hands.

The moment the door to your home shut, the three of you were on each other as you placed heated kisses all over each other’s bodies. A trail of clothes led the way into the bedroom as you all collapsed down naked onto the bed with Benny in between you and Frankie. Hand and lips were everywhere as you all showered each other in affection until you all started to feel tired from the day. As much as you all wanted to make love until the sun came up, you all realized how late you were out as you laid out in bed. You had a promise to keep anyway.

You opened yourself for Benny as you rolled onto your side and parted your legs for him, “Come on, baby,” you purred.

Frankie reached around and stroked Benny’s cock a few times to make him hard and helped guide him into your pussy. You let out a soft gasp when you felt the tip of Benny’s cock at your entrance, but you relaxed when Frankie’s hand caressed and squeezed your ass while Benny slowly slid into you.

Both you and Benny let out heavy exhales once he was fully sheathed inside you and you dropped your head down onto the pillow. The stretch of his cock was a comfort to you and you sighed as he wrapped his arms around you and held you close. Frankie watched with an affectionate look on his face until he settled himself behind Benny and held both of your bodies close.

“You can warm your cock in me, Frankie,” Benny’s voice was low as he turned to face him.

Frankie’s eyes went wide as he stared at him for several moments. Before he moved, Frankie leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Benny’s neck, “Just don’t let me hurt you,” he whispered.

“You won’t,” Benny reassured him before he let out a loud moan when he felt Frankie’s cock against his entrance.

You squeezed Benny with your inner muscles while Frankie caressed his body as he slowly and carefully slid into him. Low moans and groans filled the room as you all connected yourselves to each other and got yourselves comfortable on the bed. Frankie pulled you both in close as you all found the perfect position to lay all wrapped in each other’s arms.

It was quiet and calm and perfect as you all laid in each other’s embrace. Slow, heavy breaths from you and Benny told Frankie you were both close to sleep, but he couldn’t resist the thought that popped into his head. He leaned in close against your ear and whispered, “Hey babe, you gonna finish him?”

Laughter burst out in the room as you all cackled at Frankie’s joke.

“You boys are ridiculous,” you sighed as you kissed them each as your laughter died down and was replaced by a calmness. The three of you stayed wrapped up and connected together as you all fell asleep in your cuddle pile. 

[contemplativepancakes]

let me just ease your mind

sharing something vulnerable for @whataboutthebard

Lambert/Jaskier, E

“If I tell you, you have to promise not to laugh at me,” Jaskier says, his hand on Lambert’s bare chest.

Lambert raises an eyebrow at him. “When have I ever laughed at you?”

“Every single day, you brute!”

Lambert mouths at Jaskier’s neck, his breath hot against Jaskier’s face. “I’ll attempt to contain myself. No promises.”

Jaskier fixes him with a glare, and Lambert sighs. “All right, I promise. Happy?”

Jaskier grumbles. “Not particularly.”

Lambert raises his eyebrows expectantly, and Jaskier looks down, tugging at the bed spread instead of making eye contact. A blush colors his face.

“I’ve…never slept with a man before.”

A flurry of emotions crosses Lambert’s face, settling on something soft. Jaskier shoves him in the chest. “Don’t look at me like that!”

Lambert carefully fixes his gaze into something more akin to a leer before he grins. “Better?”

“This was a terrible idea. I should have just strung you along forever. What was I thinking, inviting you into my bed?”

“We don’t have to do anything,” Lambert says cautiously.

“I want to.”

“Okay, okay,” Lambert placates as Jaskier crosses his arms. “What do you want to do?”

Jaskier buries his face into his hands. “Melting into the floor sounds nice right about now.”

Lambert carefully tugs his hands away, making Jaskier look at him. “Hey, I’m not going to be a dick about this, okay? I’ll make it good for you.”

He kisses Jaskier’s temple, before moving down to his neck, and across his chest, stopping to play with his nipples and run his fingers through his coarse chest hair. Jaskier lays back and spreads his legs, letting Lambert take the lead. Lambert moves to the end of the bed, where he kisses the crease of Jaskier’s thigh. His fingers trail over the sensitive flesh of his inner thighs, and he has to stop his legs from trembling at the tenderness of it all. “Touch me,” Jaskier pleads.

Lambert gives him a grin that makes Jaskier think he’s in for a very long night. He looks at Jaskier’s swelling cock, starting to stand up from his belly. Putting a hand on his chin, he says, “Hmm. Not yet, I don’t think.”

He continues his torment of Jaskier, touching him absolutely everywhere except his cock. His fingers brush the shells of Jaskier’s ears, and Jaskier keens in frustration. “Aren’t you always telling me to be more patient?” Lambert wonders aloud.

“Do as I say, not as I do,” Jaskier says, before he can’t take it any longer, and he hauls Lambert by the shoulders up to him so he can kiss him.

Jaskier jams their mouths together, but Lambert puts a hand on his chest, making him lean back until he can barely reach Lambert’s lips and slow down. The kiss becomes tender. Jaskier squirms on the bed, trying to rut up against Lambert to find any sort of friction he can. As soon as he rubs his hard cock against him, Lambert immediately backs up.

“Lambert!” he protests.

“Told you I was going to make it good,” Lambert murmurs.

“And so you’re planning on teasing me endlessly?”

Lambert shrugs, a devious expression on his face. “I’m having fun; aren’t you?” Lambert sobers for a moment. “Do you want to fuck me, or do you want to get fucked? Or whatever, we can do something else, too.”

Jaskier pauses to think. “You’d let me do that to you?”

Lambert squints at him. “Yes? It feels good. I’m not particular.”

Jaskier gives him a disbelieving look.

“About this,” he amends, laughing as Jaskier’s sure he thinks about all the things he’s very particular about.

While the idea of having Lambert all spread out in front of him and panting is certainly appealing, he also doesn’t want to mess this up. People tend to think he’s so much more experienced than he really is, and it’s led to many misunderstandings throughout the years. Besides, there’s no guarantees they’ll sleep together again after this, and if anyone is going to enter him for the first time…having it be Lambert might not be so bad. Enjoyable, even, if the tales he’s heard are to be believed.

“Fuck me,” Jaskier decides. “And touch my fucking prick!”

Lambert ghosts a teasing touch over his cock, and Jaskier lifts his hips, chasing after it. It doesn’t help since Lambert gets up from the bed, Jaskier makes a displeased noise at the loss of his weight and heat. He digs through his bag until he finds a jar of something. “Made it myself,” he preens. “With seaweed.”

Jaskier wrinkles his nose. “I’m sure it’s delightful.”

“Hey, I see that face! This is the best quality stuff you’re going to find.” Lambert sighs wistfully. “Fucking carrageenan, man.”

“I see you’ve been hanging about with your sorceress too much again.”

“After tonight, you’ll be begging me to go meet her so you can thank her yourself, trust me.”

Jaskier hums, unconvinced, but his tune quickly changes after Lambert strokes Jaskier’s cock using it, his hand unimpeded as it glides up and down the shaft. Jaskier’s cock is red and weeping by now, but Lambert still doesn’t take pity on him, pulling his hand away after the few tugs.

“Do you want to do it on your stomach or back?”

Jaskier thinks about it for a second. “My back.”

He doesn’t want to say as much, but he does think the experience will be enhanced if he’s able to see Lambert during it. His muscles look good while he’s clothed, and they’re doubly enchanting now. Jaskier drifts a finger across one of Lambert’s scars. Lambert glances down as he manhandles Jaskier into the position he wants him in, tugging him to the edge of the bed while he stands in front of him. “That one’s from a harpy, I think,” he says.

“A harpy got the better of you?” Jaskier asks in mock disbelief.

“Shut up. It happens.”

The lines around Lambert’s eyes crinkle, and Jaskier can’t help but return the smile. Lambert bends Jaskier’s leg, leaning down to kiss the delicate skin of his ankle and licking it a little just to be an ass because he’s Lambert, before situating himself in between Jaskier’s legs. He puts more of his slick on his fingers, before he circles them around Jaskier’s hole. Jaskier looks down in fascination as two of Lambert’s fingers breech him. Rotating his hand, Lambert looks at Jaskier to make sure nothing hurts, and Jaskier nods at him eagerly, just an odd sensation of something foreign being inside of him. Nothing mind blowing yet, but so far, so good. Lambert soothes his hand down Jaskier’s flank. “Gentle, remember?”

Jaskier scowls at him as Lambert pulls his fingers back out, spreading more slick on them before he introduces a third finger. He wiggles them inside Jaskier, crooking them about as he presumably looks for the little bundle of nerves that Jaskier’s heard so much about. There’s a sense of cognitive dissonance as he looks down at where Lambert’s fingers disappear into him, but he gasps when Lambert presses up against the spot he was looking for. “Right there,” Jaskier tells him, and Lambert rubs him relentlessly, making Jaskier moan and light up from the inside out.

His cock throbs. He reaches down to touch it halfheartedly, but Lambert slaps his hand away, as he expected. “Touch me, please,” he begs.

Lambert relents with another teasing touch, just dragging the fingers not currently inside Jaskier up his shaft before pulling at the foreskin a bit. Lambert keeps this up until Jaskier is a boneless, panting, mess. “Just fuck me,” Jaskier cries.

“I’m going to finger you for another minute, just for that.”

Jaskier throws his head back against the pillow and shuts his eyes, trying to keep his overwhelming arousal from crashing over him. Finally, blessedly, Lambert pulls out his fingers. He lines up his cock with Jaskier’s hole, pressing the head in. He scoots Jaskier up on the bed so he can bracket his arms around Jaskier as he pushes in farther, waiting for Jaskier to adjust with each bit.

Their faces are close to each other, and Jaskier can’t help but pull Lambert into a sloppy kiss as the blunt sensation of fullness settles in his gut once Lambert’s all the way sheathed inside of him. “Okay?” Lambert asks, and Jaskier nods. He’s a little amazed that it doesn’t hurt. There was only a slight burn as Lambert first entered him, then the overwhelming feeling of knowing that Lambert’s cock was inside of him.

Lambert buries his face in Jaskier’s neck, sniffing at him as witches are wont to do, while he shallowly thrusts his hips, his cock rubbing against the walls of Jaskier’s hole maddeningly. After a few minutes of this, Jaskier is blubbering from the sensation of exactly what he wants being so close but out of reach. His hands come up to grip at Lambert’s thighs, urging him to go faster.

Melitele smiles down at him when Lambert finally repositions himself so he has better leverage, starting to slam inside him. Jaskier shuts his eyes and listens to the slap of their skin echo in the room, crying out whenever Lambert gets a particularly good thrust past his prostate. Lambert reaches down between them to take Jaskier’s aching cock in hand, stroking him quickly. He twists his hand as he does, sometimes reaching down to brush his thumb over Jaskier’s sack and fondle it. Jaskier nearly bites through his lip at the stimulation of it all.

It’s a pathetically short amount of time after that when Jaskier spills, shouting Lambert’s name and squeezing his hand around Lambert’s wrist. Lambert slows his thrusts and strokes Jaskier through it, until Jaskier pushes his hand away.

Lambert pulls out of him before Jaskier can protest, leaving his hole clenching around nothing and bereft as it begins to tighten again. Lambert jacks his cock quickly, Jaskier tracking the microexpressions that flit across his face as he brings himself his own pleasure until he comes, spurting onto Jaskier’s crotch and stomach. Jaskier gives him a put upon sigh at the mess, but he’s not sure how convincing it is when he’s so tired he can barely do anything but lay there.

Lambert grins at him and tugs at his hair before he retreats to grab something off the floor that Jaskier recognizes as his doublet. “Hey!” he protests, but it doesn’t stop Lambert from cleaning them up with it.

“You’re buying me a new shirt,” Jaskier says.

Lambert hums. “I’ll wash this one for you. Maybe. If you’re lucky.”

Jaskier throws an arm over his eyes. “You’re so cruel to me.”

He keeps his arm there until Lambert prods him in the side.

“How was that?” Lambert asks. “World shaking?”

Jaskier looks up at him, brushing his fingers through Lambert’s bristly hair and making him flush. “It was everything I wanted.”

[waitimcomingtoo]

Don’t Go Breaking My Heart

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Synopsis: Toms attempt at impressing you goes very wrong…then very right

Masterlist

“What’s your most embarrassing moment?” Tom read off one of the papers from the bucket before looking at you. “I think it was the backflip. Do you remember that?”

“I don’t remember there being any backflips that day.” You laughed at him, making him roll his eyes.

“Do you see how mean she is to me?” Tom playfully asked the camera. “I think that was my most embarrassing moment but it ended up being the best day of my life.”

“You think that was the best day of your life?” You raised an eyebrow at your boyfriend. “You got hurt.”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “Because on the one hand, it was the day I ate shit in front of the girl I liked. But it was also the day we finally got together, which makes it the best day in the history of days.”

“The history of days.” You laughed at his wording as the camera crew laughed as well.

“Was that not a good day for you?” Tom pretended to be offended as he picked up another slip of paper.

“No, no.” You assured. “It was the best day of my life too. But It was also super embarrassing.”

1 year ago

“What are you up to?”

“I’m just stretching for the day. I have to stay limber if I’m gonna keep playing Spider man.” Tom said as he stretched his arms. “Watch this.”

Tom bent down and touched his toes before looking up at you smugly.

“Wow, hot shot.” You snorted. “That’s pretty impressive. Can you do a backflip too?”

“That’s how I got the role, actually.” Tom joked. “Because I can do a backflip.”

“I bet you can’t do one right now.” You challenged him.

“I so can.” He narrowed his eyes at you.

“Nah.” You shook your head. “I bet it’s all CGI.”

“Darling, I’ve been a gymnast all my life.” Tom said smugly. “I can most certainly do a backflip.”

“Hm. No.” You scrunched your nose. “I don’t believe you.”

“All right.” Tom cracked his neck. “Watch me.”

He stepped back and shook out his shoulders, sneaking a glance at you to check if you were watching. You folded your arms and gave him a nod, telling him to go ahead. Tom let out a breath, got in position, and attempted a back flip. Instead of going in a full rotation like he planned, he fell flat on his face. You and Tom heard the crunch at the same time, making you gasp as he let out a groan.

“Oh my God!” You shrieked and crouched down beside him, rolling him over. “Is he dead? Are you dead?”

“Call an ambulance.” Tom groaned as a steady stream on blood ran from his nose.

“Your nose is crooked.” You grimaced as you held his face. “Is it supposed to be crooked?”

“Did I knock my teeth out?” Tom smiled weakly at you, making you laugh.

“No. Your teeth are fine.” You chuckled as you stroked his cheeks with your thumbs. “Are you okay?”

“As much as I’m enjoying you in top of me right now, I’d really appreciate you calling a doctor. My nose feels like it has a heartbeat.”

“Right. Sorry.” You grimaced again. “Can we get a medic over here?”

Within ten minutes, Tom was sitting in his trailer with the medic inspecting his nose. You were sitting by his side, holding his hand and bouncing your leg nervously.

“Is he okay?” You asked the doctor as you squeezed Toms hand.

“It’s definitely broken.” The doctor said as he felt Toms nose.

“Lovely.” Tom sighed.

“Oh my God.” You whined. “Can you fix it?”

“Yeah.” The doctor shrugged. “All I have to do is reset it.”

“Will that hurt?” You asked as you held your intertwined hands to your chest. Tom stifled a laugh at how you were acting, fretting over him like a nervous wife.

“I’ve had this happen before.” Tom assured you. “It doesn’t hurt that bad.”

“Okay, good.” You sighed in relief. “I was gonna say you could keep holding my hand if you needed to but if it doesn’t hurt then-“

“Just in case.” Tom squeezed your hand before you could let go. “You never know how badly something is going to hurt.”

“It’s gonna hurt pretty bad.” The doctor mumbled, making you gasp and Tom give an angry look.

“Oh my God.” You whined. “I can’t believe I did this to you. You’re gonna be in so much pain and it’s all my fault.”

“It’s not brain surgery, darling.” Tom laughed and tucked your hair behind your ear with his free hand. “I’ll be okay.”

“I’m sorry.” You frowned and kissed the back of his hand. “You can squeeze my hand as hard as you need.”

“Okay, I’m gonna fix it in the count of three.” The doctors said as he got in position. He reset Toms nose with a loud crack, making Tom squeeze your hand as hard as he could for your sake. The doctor bandaged Tom up and gave him an ice pack before leaving the trailer.

“This is all my fault.” You sighed as soon as he left. You rested your head on his shoulder and rubbed his arm soothingly. “I’m so sorry.”

“Darling, I hardly think you’re to blame for this.” Tom chuckled as he rested his chin on your head.

“I am.” You whined. “I was trying to flirt with you and get you to do a backflip and now your nose is broken and it’s all my fault.”

“You were trying to flirt?” Tom perked his head up and looked at you curiously.

“Yes and clearly I should never do it again because I put you in grave danger.” You pouted as you stroked his cheek.

“Darling, do I look like I’m in danger?” Tom teased you. “I’m okay. Don’t beat yourself up over this.”

“But you got hurt because of me.” You jutted your bottom lip out and wiped some dried blood off his face.

“It wasn’t your fault.” He insisted as he pulled out his phone. “But I do want to put this on Instagram.”

“Guys, I accidentally broke my nose on set and look at Y/n.” Tom laughed as he looked into the camera. He panned it to you, but you were busy chewing you bottom lip and staring at Tom with guilty eyes.

“I feel so bad.” You pouted as your eyes flicked to the camera.

“It’s okay.” He assured you. “I don’t blame you at all.”

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled as you pulled his face close to yours and pressed kissed all over it. Tom laughed as you did it, feeling his cheeks flush beneath your lips. You pulled away but kept your hands on his face.

“Can I kiss your nose?” You asked cautiously and Tom burst out laughing.

“Go ahead.” He said. “You’re acting like you’re asking for my kidney.”

You ignored his teasing and gave him the worlds most gentle kiss on the nose.

“Did that hurt?” You asked as you quickly pulled away.

“You barely touched me.” Tom chuckled.

“Well I don’t know.” You whined and grabbed the ice pack the doctor left. You placed another gentle kiss on Toms nose before holding the ice pack to his face. Tom, who was busy loving all the attention from you, pulled out his phone again.

“Look at this.” He panned the camera to you. “She’s holding the ice pack to my face.”

“Leave me alone.” You sighed. “I’m guilt ridden.”

“It’s okay.” Tom reminded you as he rubbed your knee. He silently posted the video to document the day as you checked his forming bruise.

“No it’s not.” You sighed again. “Can I get you anything?”

“I’m all right, love.” Tom shook his head. “I just want you to stay here.”

“No. I can’t take this guilt.” You shook your head. “You have to punch me in the face.”

“Why would I do that?”

“To make it even.” You insisted as you cupped his face. “You have to break my nose since I broke yours.”

“You didn’t break my nose.” He reminded you. “If I broke yours, that would be domestic violence.”

“No. It’s only domestic violence if we’re dating.” You told him while stroking his hair.

“I don’t think that’s true.” Tom chuckled, feeling his face heat up again.

“The guilt won’t go away until you break my nose.” You said. “You have to do it.”

“Darling.” Tom cupped your face, making your panic halter. “I would never hurt you. And you would never hurt me. I know that. Don’t you know that?”

“Tell that to your broken nose.” You pouted as you put the ice pack back on his nose.

“Me and my broken nose forgive you.” He repeated. “And we’re not gonna punch you in the face.”

“Then at least let me take care of you today.” You countered. “I’ll take you back to the hotel and stay with you until you feel better.”

Not wanting to admit he felt better already, Tom nodded with a soft smile. He played along as you instructed him to lean on you as you brought him back to the hotel. You helped him on to the bed and he thought you’d leave it there, but he was pleasantly surprised when you climbed in bed next to him.

Tom laid his head in your lap as he held his ice pack to his face. You were running your hands through his hair and twirling his curls around your fingers.

“You do not have to be this nice to me.” Tom said as he gazed up at you.

“Yes I do.” You told him. “I broke your nose.”

“I broke my nose.” Tom reminded you. “You were just a witness to my embarrassment.”

“But I was a leading factor in you breaking it.” You groaned. “I was the number one cause.”

“You were not.” He insisted. “It’s no ones fault.”

“No ones fault but mine.” You grouched as you brushed the hairs off his forehead.

“You’re being ridiculous.” Tom laughed, but he was secretly loving it. “I need Instagram to see this.”

“I wanted to give you guys an update.” Tom said as he held his phone towards you. “She is now in my bed with my and combing my hair.”

“I feel so bad.” You whined for the millionth time as you carded your fingers through his curls.

“I know you do, love. But you don’t have to.” He smiled as he looked up at you. You looked at him for a moment before letting out a whine and leaning down to kiss his forehead. He kept recording as you kissed all over his face, nearing his lips a few times.

“The kisses are appreciated but they’re not going to heal my nose.” Tom chuckled as he sat up a little so you were holding him like a baby.

“They might.” You laughed as you continued to kiss his face. Your lips brushed the corner of his lips and he felt his heart stop for a minute. He started recording again, wanting to memorialize the day forever.

“I keep thinking you’re gonna kiss me.” Tom said quietly as his soft eyes stared into yours.

“I’m about to.” You laughed as you held his face in his face. You stroked your thumb over his cheekbone before leaning down and kissing him on the lips. You pulled away laughing after just a few seconds, leaving Tom completely starstruck.

“I can’t believe you just did that.” He sputtered as your contagious laughter got to him. He laughed too, accidentally posting the video as he let his phone fall on to the bed.

“I’m sorry.” You threw your head back laughing. “I just feel so bad.”

“You kissed me because you feel bad?” Tom asked as he laughter died down, feeling a little disappointed in the reason. You looked away and held back a smile, as well as the urge to say “no Tom, I kissed you because I’m in love with you.”

“What are people saying?” You changed the subject quickly to avoid that conversation.

“What?” Tom regained his composure, still hung up on the kiss.

“Online.” You explained. “I know you’ve been posting the videos. And I know people are talking.”

“Oh.” Tom nodded and scrolled through Twitter, still feeling a little disappointed. “They’re saying we make great couple.”

“What about you?” You asked coyly. “What do you think?”

“About what?” He furrowed his eyebrows.

“About what kind of couple we’d make.” You shrugged casually, but your heart was pounding in your ears. Tom opened his mouth but shut it, trying to decide what to say as he flushed a deep red.

“I don’t know.” He said softly. “All I know is you kissing and holding me all day is something I could get used to.”

“Oh.” Your voice was barely above a whisper as your eyes bore into his. He sat up a little and turned his body to face you.

“Actually, darling.” He continued with a soft tone. “I don’t think I’d ever get used to it. I think if someone like you was loving me, I’d be counting my blessings everyday. I don’t think I’d ever grow accustomed to the goosebumps I get when you look at me.”

“Are you sure you’d want to be loved by someone who broke your nose?” You asked playfully as you raised your eyebrow.

“As long as you don’t break my heart as well, I think I’ll be okay.” Tom smiled gently as he tucked your hair behind your ear. He left his hand there and slowly stroked your cheek with his thumb as he gazed into your eyes.

“I wouldn’t do that.” You shook your head as you kept your eyes on his lips.

“I believe you.” Tom mumbled before leaning in to kiss you. Before your lips could touch, you sharply pulled away and looked at him in a panic.

“Wait.” You shook your head as you collected yourself while a look of disappointment settled on Toms face.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He sputtered. “I thought-“

“You have to tilt your head to the right.” You cut him off. “And I’ll go left.”

“What?” He blinked in confusion, still thinking you didn’t want to kiss him.

“So I don’t hurt your nose any further, silly.” You smiled at him as you leaned in again. He chuckled to himself before tilting his head to the right and leaning in the rest of the way. Your lips connected as you steered clear of his nose and suddenly, all his pain melted away.

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[crumbledcastle28]

Chapter 1: a tug

Warnings: PTSD, sadness, depression, panic attack, mentions of violence

Author’s note: this is part one of my series called “Burning Red.” This is kind of boring because it is a set up for the main storyline, but I hope you enjoy it! Any constructive criticism and support is greatly appreciated. And if I missed a warning, please let me know!!

After everything you’ve seen, everything you’ve done, everyone you’ve hurt, it felt good to just lay low.

A mechanic on tatooine was not what you imagined, but it did the trick.

No one saw you for who you truly were, and that made you happy.

Well, except for Peli.

You came to her sick and angry and alone, and she nursed you back to health. You would be rotting in the desert if it wasn’t for her, and you felt you owed her a little something.

So, you used your “uncommon” set of abilities to help her with her mechanics in any way she needed.

This included: cooking, cleaning, repairing, negotiating, and most importantly, defending.

Peli was no dummy. She knew you had more experience in that field than she did. So she recruited you, and paid you back with whatever she had laying around. A new outfit once and a while, a warm bed, a hot dinner, and a couple of credits so you could go shopping and get out of her hair.

You couldn’t blame her. You were a hell of a lot of trouble to be around.

Constant nightmares, paranoia, and regret surrounded your aura like a fog. Any normal person wouldn’t notice, but someone like Peli could. And it pissed her off a good majority of the time.

“Stop moping and help me clean this oil off my droid,” and sentences like this one, were said pretty frequently around your place.

Was it even your place? All you did was survive. Is that enough to say you lived there instead of just survived there?

You really liked Peli. She gave you a base. A “home” of sorts, and for that you were forever indebted.

But something in you always called you back to your real home, and that scared you more than Peli’s tough love. More than you could even describe.

~~*~~

It was a pretty normal day on Tatooine. The wind howled, the sand covered everything in its wake, and the heat. You would never get used to it.

You were eating your breakfast when a ship landed on the landing pad, and you could already tell it was a doosey just by the way the left engine was sputtering.

If this ship explodes, we better get a damn good pay, you think to yourself.

The ramp starts to open and you take that as your queue to start the walk to your makeshift room. It was really a storage room, but you didn’t mind.

When you get there, you squat down to the ground behind your door and grab your apron and set of tools. You knew Peli would need some help with this ship.

You hear the ship’s ramp hit he ground and you feel it.

A tug.

Not even a tug, a lurch. It felt like a rope had been tied to your soul and pulled you back into your old self.

This was a tug you hadn’t felt in so long. So long, it almost knocks you off your feet.

I closed myself off from this, you think. I shouldn’t feel this. I don’t want to feel this.

You already feel a headache coming on from the shock and ache in your bones, so you start walking back to the landing pad to tell Peli you aren’t feeling too well.

If I get recognized, we are both dead.

You’d rather get a scolding from Peli than a scolding hot gun wound in your chest.

“Hey,” you hear Peli shout at the client, and you pick up your pace. Your heart is hammering in your chest and you feel the panic ooz through your body.

It’s been so long since you’ve felt this, but you hate how it makes you feel alive.

You finally make it to Peli and you see her speaking very loudly (she doesn’t like to use the word “yelling”) at what seems to be your client.

But this is no ordinary client. This is a Mandalorian.

A very broad Mandalorian who, no offense to Peli, could knock her out in his sleep.

You had heard legends of their kind. But worst of all, you had fought them. And damn were they good.

You hadn’t seen any since the purge. You had heard rumors of them hiding under ground, but they had always been peaceful people. You hated how they got dragged into a war.

“You damage one of my droids, you’ll pay for it,” Peli says, and you really wish she would use a more peaceful tone.

The last thing you want to do right now is fight a very impressive looking Mandalorian covered entirely in beskar while your entire body is tingling.

Is he the one who is force sensitive?

“Just keep them away from my ship” he says, and you are surprised at how well he is taking Peli’s annoyance.

“Yeah? You think that’s a good idea?” Peli responds in a tone dripping with sarcasm and you take this as your moment to try to sneak away.

This however, was unsuccessful.

“Come on y/n. Let’s take a look at his ship,” she says and the Mandalorian turns his helmet towards you.

You probably look like an absolute mess. Your chest is heaving, you are sweating, and you are not at all prepared to do any sort of repairs. You are basically in your pajamas. The Mandalorian’s gaze has you nervous enough, but this familiar feeling in your stomach has you dizzy and nauseous.

Just hold on......

You start to follow Peli to the ship while still looking at the Mandalorian. You learned very early on in your life to never take your eyes off a predator. He follows your form and you try your best to mask his incredibly strong force connection gripping your chest.

This man isn’t even trying to hide it? It’s almost as if he is reaching for me?

You make it to Peli where you finally take your eyes off of him. You can see why Peli was so mad now.

“Oof! Look at that,” she says as she scans the ship with her eyes. “You’ve got a lot of cabron scoring up top. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were in a shoot out.”

Oh my God, he was in a shoot out.

This is really not good. This man could have been followed and you could be surrounded at this very moment. You were a skilled fighter, but those kinds of odds were almost unbeatable. Especially when you were still trying to hide your identity.

You are so tense you feel like you could snap. You still feel his eyes on you, and you are praying to whatever is out there that you can just stay alive. That’s the only thing you’re good at.

“Name’s Peli Motto. That’s y/n,” she says as she points to you with her wrench.

She did not just tell him your NAME.

“This is my operation. You’re not gonna find a better mechanic on the planet,” she says as she leaned in closer to the engine.

“Yeah, I’m gonna have to rotate that. You’ve got a fuel leak. Look at this, this is a mess. How did you even land?”

All you wanted to do was scream.

He is a MANDALORIAN who was just in a SHOOT OUT. He is probably being FOLLOWED and we could be dead because of ME.

“That’s gonna set you back,” she says.

She is concerned about MONEY right now?

Peli is a smart woman, but she was walking you into a trap. You didn’t want her blood on your hands. You didn’t need any more of that.

All of this is happening while you are still on the verge of a panic attack.

This Mandalorian is strong with the force. It is squeezing your lungs and your feet and your hands and your brain. All rational thinking is out the window. You had to get out of here before he manages to suffocate you.

God you hate this feeling. A few years ago you lived with this constantly. It became a part of you. Something you enjoyed. But now...

“I’ve got five hundred imperial credits,” the Mandalorian says.

Imperial credits. Great. How did he get his hands on those?

“That’s all you got? Well..” she says and looks back at you.

“What do you think,” she asks in a teasing tone.

You try to plead to her with your eyes. You are sweating beyond belief and your brain is about to explode.

She tightens her brows in confusion at your state, but continues to bargain.

“That should at least cover the hanger,” she says and you feel your jaw almost drop to the floor.

How can she not see it?

“I’ll get you your money,” the Mandalorian mumbles and you try to take a deep breath. Passing out in front of one of the fiercest warriors in the galaxy who may be here to kill you would rip off the last bit of pride you had left. If you are going down, you are going down with a fight.

“I’ve heard that before,” Peli responds and looks at you in a joking way. Like she was trying to coax you into laughing with her.

You try to chuckle back, but it just comes out in a low breath.

You sound insane.

“Just remember—,” the Mandalorian starts

“No droids. I heard ya,” Peli finishes.

“Why do you think I keep this girl around,” she says chuckling with a pat on your back.

You muster up the strength to smile and feel holes burning in your head from the Mandalorian’s gaze.

He really knows how to stare.

The Mandalorian leaves the hanger, and it takes everything in you not to pass out right there.

You thought with him leaving it would die down, but it’s only getting worse.

“Are you ok,” Peli asks and helps you lower yourself to the ground.

You are breathing frantically now and your hands are clutched to your chest.

“He has it,” you say and you know Peli knows what you mean.

She looks at you with wide eyes and you see the realization on her face.

“Oh my god.... he was in a shootout,” she says.

“Uh huh,” you breathe out. The desperate force connection is starting to fade and you feel your lungs fill up with air once more.

“He could have been followed! Or he could be here to—“

“Kill us,” you say. Peli hates when you finish her sentences, but there was no point in caring right now.

“Ok. Get inside. If I need you I will call for you,” she says and you nod, slowly getting to your feet.

You start to walk back to your room, with Peli’s arms guiding you, while taking deep breaths, but you freeze when you sense something else coming out of the ship and you snap your head to the ramp.

“What,” Peli says as she follows your gaze.

Your heart flutters. The force is slowly starting to ease its nasty grip on you.

If you didn’t sense the creature, you would miss it.

A little green baby, wrapped in what looked like a potato sack, was strolling down the ramp, looking directly at you.

“It’s him,” you say.

“He has it.”

[lokissuper]

A Keeper| Negan x Reader

Summary: On a day away from the Sanctuary, the reader meets a new friend.

I’ve always wanted to read something for Negan where the reader calls him a nickname, specifically Negs/Neags. So I just wrote it, this is a really slow fic.

I wasn’t supposed to go outside the Sanctuary, ever since I got injured on a run a few months ago. I just had to get out of there for a while, sometimes Negan can get protective and I love him but I need to be my own person.

I snuck past the guards goofing of as per usual, thinking that Negan and I were still sleeping. It was dawn, I knew it would be easier to get by the guards then because they just rotated. So when I saw that they were leaving I sprinted out of the Sanctuary. I knew I would be dealing with some consequences when I first get back but I knew Negan would forgive me, as long as I come back uninjured.

When I was finally far enough away I stopped running and caught my breath. I took out my machete to be ready for any dead pricks that come my way. I also took out my canteen from my backpack and took a sip of my water. Putting it back in my bag I stood up ad started walking, breathing in the fresh air. I knew there was a small town nearby that the Saviors had already cleared, so I headed towards there. 

I hadn’t been in the woods for a while, always going on supply runs with Negan we would take roads with the trucks. I always liked taking walks and it was even better to be outside in the woods.

Nearing the town, I was on the look out for any walkers in stores or behind abandoned cars. Strolling through the town just trying to find something to do, I heard groaning coming from one of the alleys. I quietly walked towards the alley where the moans were coming from and held my machete ready. I neared the corner and peaked around it, my heart sank to my stomach. There sat a walker munching on a lone dog, running up behind the walker I brought my machete through its skull, over and over again. Once it dropped to the ground I looked over to the pup laying in front of me. It reminded me too much of my dog, Pooh that passed before this zombie take over. I looked down at the poor thing and put it out of its misery, I heard a low whine a few feet from me. I looked over and saw a retriever pup sitting behind a dumpster, I looked back down at the body of the other dog and realized that this dog had a puppy. 

I slowly stepped over to the small animal. “It’s okay, I got you baby,” I whispered, picking up the golden dog. The dogs rare blue eyes stared at me and licked my cheek. “Damn, your breath stinks,” I spoke to the puppy. I thought it was a good time to make it back to the Sanctuary, earlier then I wanted but this little guy needed to be someplace safe. So I turned around and walked back out of the alley, holding the puppy close to my chest.

Making my way back through the woods and walking to the front gates of home. I had only now realized I had been gone for about two and a half hours, I blushed to myself only thinking of what I might be walking into. I looked up to the guard tower, I saw that Dwight was staring down at me with wide eyes. “You’ve gotta be kidding me,” I heard him yell. He walked down to the gate and opened it, I walked through but he stopped me before I came in, “Mutt stays outside.”

“Over my dead body.” I responded. He looked at my frustrated and rolled his eyes. He opened his arms beckoning me inside. 

“You know he’s been running around like a chicken with his head cut off. He sent two search parties for you, and even went out there himself. That was stupid to leave, he thinks your dead right now. But no, you come back with some whimpering dog.” Dwight ranted to me. I stared at him in the eyes for a moment before reaching into his pocket and grabbing his walkie talkie. I pressed down on the button and spoke into it, “ I am at the front gate baby, nothing bad happened.” I handed the device back over to Simon before he spoke into it too,”She’s got a mutt with her boss, she knows the rules about pets.” I rolled my eyes at him, does he forget that I’m dating the “boss”. 

I heard Negan speak through the other end, “I’ll be there soon, don’t let her leave again.”

I walked over to the door to get into the building and sat down by it, with the puppy in my lap. I looked down at him, “I should really name you, don’t want you to be nameless, do we?” I giggled as the little boy tilted his golden head. 

I though over a few names in my head, laughing over the first few that came to mind. Thinking of some of the names I had for my old dog, reminding me of my Pooh Bear.

I looked down at the creature,“Tigger? Robin like Christopher Robin? Or maybe Piglet?” I snorted at the last one.

I heard a grunt in front of me, I looked up locking eyes with the love of my life. “Oh little pig, little pig,” Negan said to me, “Hi darlin’, now what do we have here?” I laughed and nodded towards him, then nodded towards the door.

“Can we go inside? I don’t want to do this out here, and Piglet needs water.” I whispered to him.

He nods, walking over to me and helps me stand up. I followed him inside cuddling into Piglet, Negan slows his pace so he could walk next to me. I felt his hand go to my waist, we walked to our room and he set Lucille by the door before closing it. I set Piglet on the ground and go into the bathroom to fill up a small bowl with water, avoiding looking at the two eyes following me around the room. Setting the bowl down in front of Piglet, I nudged him towards it to which he galloped to and just about drowned himself drinking it.

“So did you go out there because of this little guy? Or were you trying to run away? If you were trying to run away, please tell me why. I thought we had something good here, for shit’s sake I love you so much. When I woke up this morning and saw that you weren’t there, I thought someone came in during the night and took you or you just left me. So just please, tell me why?” he spoke quietly and desperately.

I looked up at him with sad eyes and stood, walking over to him. I put my hands on his chest moving them up and around his neck, I leaned my head on his chest, “ I would never leave you, I just needed some time to myself for a little bit. I’ve been in this room for two months because I was stabbed in the leg, I knew you wouldn’t let me. I know your protective over me and I love you for it, but some fresh air was nice. It just so happened I came across this little man and his momma.” I took a step back and looked down,” His Mom was being eaten by one of those biters, I had to kill the monstrosity and Pigs mommy. Negs it was horrible, I know I needed to put her out of her misery but I hate myself for it.” I started to tear up, I felt his hands go to my waist and he brings me into his chest again. 

“I’m so sorry, baby. I wish you didn’t have to do that.” Negan whispered in my ear. 

I felt a nudge down at my feet, I smiled and looked down seeing Piglet wagging his tail. I looked up at Negan and pressed my lips to his, and he smiled into the kiss. My arms were around his neck quickly and his just wrapped tighter around my waist. He swiped his tongue across my lip and I opened up my mouth further, he shoved his tongue into my mouth. I moaned into the kiss and he separated himself from me. Groaning and staring at him in eyes, he chuckled at my reaction. 

He leaned down again inches from my face, “ I wanna marry you. When I first saw you I got rid of all my wives, knowing that you were what I needed to be who I was again. I love you so much.”

“I love you too and I want to be your wife, I wanna be with you forever Negs,” I smiled up at him.

I heard a yip from bellow us and I giggled, looking down at Piglet. I reached down and picked him up, bringing him in between me and my now fiance. 

I pressed my lips to Negan’s again, pulling away I smiled,” Looks like I got two keepers now. You got some competition.”

Negan reached for Piglet and put him on the ground, he then grabbed my legs lifting them up. Putting my legs around his hips, he moved us to the bed saying,”We’ll see about that.”

[drabbles-mc]

As Soon As I Can

Nestor Oceteva x F!Reader

Request from @alienstardust​:  Umm All the angst in those childhood prompts. I’m a fan! Yes! <3 Maybe something with Nestor? 💫 thank you

I went with this prompt from This Post: When Person A and Person B were kids, Person A broke their arm and had to wear a cast for a while. To make them feel better, Person B decorated it by drawing a bunch of doodles and quotes all over it. When Person A finally got the cast off, they asked the doctor if they could keep it. Years later, Person A takes the cast to a tattoo artist and gets all of Person B’s doodles and quotes tattooed onto their arm so they can wear them forever.

Warnings: language, angst, hospitals

Word Count: 3.8k

A/N: I looooooved writing this. Writing has been tough for me lately but this just felt really right. This is my first fic where I’ve done a lot of time skips within the story so hopefully it flows alright. Hope you guys enjoy! xo

General Mayans Taglist: @garbinge​ @mayans-sauce​ @thesandbeneathmytoes​ @paintballkid711​ @tomhardydallasstarsgirl​ @queenbeered​ @sillygoose6969​ @sesamepancakes​ @yourwonkywriter​ @chibsytelford​ @gemini0410​ @multiyfandomgirl40​ @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead​ @plentyoffandoms​ @georgiaaintnopeach​ @twistnet​ @themoonandthewicked​ @bucky-iss-bae​ @encounterthepast​ @everyhowlmarksthedead​ @rosieposie0624​ @mylittlelonelyappreciationtoo​ @mijop​ @xladymacbethx​ @blessedboo​ @holl2712​ @lakamaa12​ @masterlistforimagines​ @kkim120​ @toni9​ @shadow-of-wonder​ @crowfootwrites​ @redpoodlern​ @punkgoddess-98​ @black-repunzel99​​ @lexondeck​​​

You and Nestor were sitting in your back yard, sprawled out together under the one tree that managed to survive so many years in the California heat. You were laying on your back, cast-bound arm lying rigidly out to the side. You were staring up through the leaves as you listened to Nestor talk.

“At least they let you pick the color,” he was next to you, laying on his stomach as he dug through his backpack.

You laugh was heavy with sarcasm, “Yea, if I’m not gonna be able to move my arm for the next eight weeks it’s the least they could fucking do.”

“You sound bitter.”

You looked over at him, “I am bitter.”

He chuckled and shook his head, he was about to come back with a witty remark when he got distracted by finding whatever he had been looking for. He smiled as he pulled it out, “Aha!” he held up his pack of Sharpies.

“What’re those for?” you nodded towards the markers.

“For your cast.”

“You’re gonna decorate my cast?” you had to laugh.

“Yea,” he was carefully choosing a few different markers to start with, “Maybe it’ll make you feel better about totally eating it falling off your skateboard the other day.”

You laughed as you reached over and shoved him with your good arm, “Shut up—like you haven’t fallen a million times.”

“No casts for me, though,” there was a cocky smirk on his face.

“No casts for me, though,” you mocked as you tried not to laugh.

You watched him in semi-silence as he started at your wrist and slowly but surely made his way up your cast, covering it with all sorts of doodles and quotes. Sometimes you forgot how artistic he could be. You went back and forth between watching him and just resting your head back and closing your eyes. Neither of you kept track of the time as he stayed sprawled on his stomach beside you. the two of you probably would’ve stayed out until dark if your mom hadn’t stuck her head out and said that Nestor’s brother was there to pick him up and bring him home. Nestor threw all of his things back into his bag before helping you up.

Once he was gone, you took some time to actually look at the cast. You smiled at the amount of work he put into something that you were only going to have for a couple months. Your fingers traced lightly over the many marker lines that now covered your cast. Your mother looked over your shoulder at the artwork, a smile passing over her lips for a moment.

“Did Nestor do that?”

You nodded, not taking your eyes off of your arm, “Yea.”

She nodded, “That was sweet of him.”

You scoffed trying to suppress the smile on your face, “I guess.”

The next eight weeks passed by. And, despite the fact that having your arm in a cast was incredibly inconvenient, it could have been a lot worse. Nestor walked with you to all of your classes, offering to carry your backpack despite the fact that you told him that your busted arm had nothing to do with your ability to carry a bag. Whenever the two of you were together and things were quiet, he would keep adding onto the tiny mural that was your cast. Sometimes you wondered how much more he could fit on it, but he always found a way. For as much as you wanted it off, you were going to miss the bonding time for the two of you. And you were going to miss the artwork, too.

“So,” the doctor smiled and nodded at you, “you are all good to go. We can get the cast off and you’ll be as good as new.”

“Yea?” the thought of having your arm back made you feel giddy.

“Absolutely.”

You felt like a new person once your arm was free of the confines of the cast. Letting out a sigh of relief, you rotated your wrist a few times and carefully ran your fingers over the freshly-exposed skin, glad to feel like you were back in control of your own body.

“I can get rid of this,” your doctor held up the cast he’d just finished so carefully removing, “Unless you want to keep it as a momento.”

“Um, actually,” you felt your face heating up as you avoided eye contact with your mother, “Could I keep it?”

The doctor nodded, smiling as he handed it over to you, “It’s quite the work of art at this point—I understand wanting to hold onto it.”

On the drive home, you felt your mother glancing over at you every couple of minutes, a knowing smile on her face. You tried to ignore it but eventually you broke.

“What?” you were careful of your tone.

She laughed quietly and shook her head, “Nothing. Just, I think it’s nice that you’re keeping it, that’s all.”

“Mhm,” you tried to ignore the heat rising in your cheeks again, but that only made it worse.

You never told Nestor that you kept the cast. You never really knew exactly why you didn’t tell him—the two of you told each other pretty much everything else. The two of you spent almost all of your free time together, and as soon as he found out that your cast had been removed he was dragging you right back out to do things that could potentially break your arm all over again, and you let him. He never asked about the cast, so you never brought it up. There were moments, as the two of you got a little older, where you wanted to mention it to him in passing that it was something that you kept, but the moment never seemed quite right. Each time you went to clean out your room and your closet you would come across it, and each time you were faced with the decision of whether or not you wanted to keep it, and you always did. You always told yourself that you didn’t know why, but you knew.

--

“Alright,” you were trying not to let yourself get too emotional as you sat cross-legged on his bed watching him pack “You can’t do anything stupid while I’m not around to yell at you for it, alright?”

He chuckled as he shoved another shirt into his bag, “Trust me, there will be plenty of other people around to yell at me. That’s the whole point of—”

“But they can’t do it as well as I can.”

He glanced over at you, a small smile on his face. He knew how upset you were despite the fact that you were still being supportive. Him going into the Navy was something that you hadn’t seen coming. The thought of him being gone for so long after the two of you had spent so much of your lives practically joined at the hip was a bit jarring. You knew the ache in your chest was caused by more feelings than you were ready to admit to him, or to yourself.

“It’s not like you’ll never hear from me.”

You huffed, “Snail mail is not the same as bothering you in person,” you flopped backwards on the bed, “And for the record I still think it’s bullshit that you don’t get to call me.”

He laughed as he stood up and sat on the bed, looking down at you, “Don’t be dramatic. I’ll be in basic for less time than you had that stupid cast on your arm.”

“Yea but it’s not like you’re coming right home after that.”

He nodded, his expression sobering a little as he continued to look at you, “I know.”

“You’ll come home to visit me as soon as you can?”

He chuckled, nodding, “As soon as I can.”

For a moment you thought about spilling your guts—telling him everything that you were thinking and feeling. There was something about the way that he was looking at you that made you feel like maybe he felt the same way. But the confidence that shot through you went away as quickly as it appeared, and the moment passed as he continued to pack his things.

True to his word, you got letters in the mail. You saved each one, kept them stashed away in your closet alongside the cast that was still there collecting dust even after years of being shuffled around. You sent more letters than you received, not that you really minded. You figured that he needed them more than you did.

However as the months ticked by, you waited for him to say he was coming home, but he never did. It was one thing right into the next and the more time that passed by, the more you wondered if this was how he slipped away from you, even though he swore that that wouldn’t happen. He reached out when he could, when he had the time. And you knew that he had other priorities, and realistically you did too. But there was still part of you that felt like things were changing too much.

Your heart sped up inside your chest when you got a late-night phone call from him. You scrambled to answer it, “Hello?”

“Hey,” he sounded exhausted.

“Hey,” you pulled your blanket up to your chin as you spoke to him, “H-how are you?”

“I’m alright,” he sighed, “It’s good to hear your voice.”

You smiled despite the weight settling in your chest, “It’s good to hear yours too. I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

You didn’t want to push and pry, but you couldn’t help asking, “When are you coming home?”

There was a long pause before he spoke up again, “I, uh, I don’t really know.”

“Don’t they give you guys leave or something?”

He let out a tired chuckle, “Yea. But, um, I’m not sure if I’m going to be coming home for leave anytime soon.”

Your heart crumped inside your chest, “Why not?”

“Got some shit that I’m working on lining up here. Doesn’t hurt to stay close.”

You hated that your bottom lip was beginning to tremble, “Right.”

He knew you too well and you could hear the shift in his tone, “I’m sorry.”

“No, no,” you replied immediately, “Fuck, don’t be sorry. I’m proud of you, really. Keep…keep doing your thing.”

“Thank you for always being there. It’s been…it’s been nice knowing someone is in my corner when no one else seems to be,” there was a beat of silence, “You seen my family lately?”

You took a deep breath, “No. Why, everything alright?”

He sighed, “Wouldn’t know.”

You pressed your lips together into a tight line—things had never been simple for him when it came to family, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’ll be home to see you as soon as I can be, alright?”

Your breath was shaky as you exhaled, “Alright,” you were about to say goodbye but your brain betrayed you, “Hey, Nestor?”

“Yea?”

“I love you,” the words fell from your lips, free of their confines after so many years of locking them away.

It might’ve been you projecting, but you could’ve sworn that he let out a sigh of relief, “I love you too.”

--

That was the last thing that you’d heard from him. He went radio silent after that. You wondered if it was just you that he was ignoring, but no one seemed to have heard anything from him—his own family included. The only things that were running through your mind were terrible. All of your calls went unanswered, all of your texts went unopened. The letters that you sent didn’t get kicked back to you but you never got responses to any of them either. He had blipped off the radar seemingly without a trace and you had no idea why. You lost a lot of sleep over it but at the same time, life didn’t stop for anyone. You had to keep moving forward while a very large part of you was stuck in the past.

You were packing up your room, getting ready to move into your own apartment. You were throwing things from your closet into random bags and boxes—organization had never been your strong suit. As you were leafing through everything, pulling things down off the top shelf of your closet, you were smacked in the face with a stack of papers. You managed to catch them before they hit the ground, tears instantly springing into your eyes when you realized what they were. Your heart sped up inside your chest as you stood on your tip-toes, reaching for the very back of the shelf. The feeling of the plaster underneath your fingers sent a shock through your body as you pulled it towards you. Looking over it, you were bombarded with an onslaught of memories.

Packing fell by the wayside as you sat on your bed, reading through the letters and looking over all the artwork that was still holding up on the cast. How you managed to keep your tears from falling, you didn’t know.

There was a light knock on your door and you looked up, trying to make yourself look much less upset than you were. The smile immediately dropped from your mother’s face when she saw what you were doing, how it was upsetting you. She leaned against the doorframe as she tried to figure out what to say to you to try and make things better.

“I’m sorry, honey,” her tone was sincere.

You shook your head as you set your cast to the side, “Don’t be. You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

You hadn’t really spoken much to her about it all—there wasn’t a whole lot to say. You didn’t have any answers and with each day that went by it was less likely that you would ever get them. It was difficult to tell whether or not it was more reassuring for you that no one had heard from him, not just you.

“There’s nothing to talk about. He just fucking disappeared, I guess. I just need to accept it and get on with my life.”

“He was your best friend—you’re allowed to be upset about it, you know.”

Even though you knew it, it was nice to hear her say it to you. Wiping the tears from your eyes before they could stain your cheeks, you nodded, “I know.”

She lightly drummed her fingers on the door frame, “You keeping those?”

There was a long pause before you finally nodded, “I think so.”

She nodded, “I’ll go grab you another box.”

--

“This thing looks like it’s been through the wringer,” your tattoo artist chuckled as she looked over the cast you’d brought with you.

You managed a smile, “Because it has. I’ve had that thing since I was in, fucking, like eighth grade I think? Long time.”

“What made you decide to get this done now?”

You shrugged, “I don’t know. Figured it’ll be better than moving it from one closet to the next over the course of my life.”

You could tell by the look on her face, that she wanted to ask for the story behind it all. But the fact that you didn’t offer it up, made her not pry. You’d always been open so if you were keeping something to yourself, she respected that. The two of you talked about the logistics of it, and the changes you want to make to clean it up a little bit. You were excited to come back and get it done, though.

Despite the wait, your excitement and nervousness about coming back didn’t fade. You didn’t regret the decision, but it was still nerve-wracking as you got ready to sit down in the chair. She had you look over the pattern she’d drawn up, and when you gave her the okay she laid the stencil out on your arm and got to work. You watched her as she brought it all to life—it was a little cleaner and more grown-up than the original scribbles and doodles, but it felt right. Tears stung at the edges of your eyes but it wasn’t because of the physical pain of getting the tattoo.

She was wrapping it up in saranwrap as she gave you the run-down of taking care of the tattoo. You’d heard the spiel before but you still listened anyway. You had a hard time taking your eyes off of the artwork as you made your way back out to your car. Sitting down in the driver’s seat, you let out a sigh as you tried to inspect the ink as best you could through the wrap around your arm.

The next day, you were putting on a fresh wrap over your tattoo after your shower when you heard your phone buzzing in the next room. With a heavy sigh, you slapped a piece of tape onto the wrap and scrambled to get to your phone before you missed the call. Looking down at the screen, you didn’t recognize the number. But it was an off-hour for a scammer to be calling so you answered it on a whim. Worst case scenario you would just hang up.

“Hello?”

“Hi, my name is Rita and I work at Imperial Hospital. I’m looking for Ms. Y/N?”

“Um, speaking?” you had no idea where this was going.

“Good morning. Someone was admitted and you are their only emergency contact—no next of kin listed. Do you know a Mr. Nestor Oceteva?”

Your heart dropped into your stomach, “Yes,” you couldn’t get the words out fast enough, “Yes I do. Is he alright?”

“He’s going to be fine,” her tone was calm enough to give you the smallest sliver of reassurance, “But we do need you to come in and answer some questions for us. He’s been in and out of it and we need someone who can give us reliable information.”

“O-okay. Yea. Yea I’ll leave right now. It’ll be about an hour or so before I get there though. Is that alright? He’s going to be okay?”

“Yes, ma’am. He’s going to be fine. Thank you so much for your cooperation.”

You hung up the phone and started flying around your apartment to get ready. You had no idea what you were about to be walking into but at this point you didn’t care. All these years you’ve been wondering about him and he was two towns over. You were as angry as you were relieved.

The line of questions that the nurses asked you seemed endless. You knew that it was all important but there was nothing that you wanted more than to be in the room and see that it really was him, that this wasn’t just some cruel trick from the universe.

Finally, the nurse started walking you back. You only heard half of what she was saying to you about his condition as the two of you approached the room. You heard that he was stable and the rest didn’t really matter to you. your hands were trembling as she gestured to the door to his room, telling you that she would give you a few minutes to yourselves.

You slowly opened the door and a sob lodged itself in your throat as you looked at him. He was passed out, whether the sleep was genuine or from the meds you didn’t know. Truthfully, it was almost difficult to see that it was the Nestor you knew and loved—but you could still see it. Underneath the cuts and scrapes, beneath the braids and the tattoos, there was still your Nestor. The man you knew all those years ago was somewhere underneath it all.

Walking over, you collapsed in the chair next to his bed. You reached out and took his hand in your own, seeing the scars and scabs that covered his knuckles. Whatever he’d been doing all those years, it wasn’t treating him well. You let out a shaky breath as the tears started to fall. You tried to keep your emotions bottled up and quiet, but you couldn’t. There were too many there that you had been battling with and pushing down over the years.

Your crying made him stir. With a quiet groan of pain he opened his eyes and turned to look and see who was in the room with him. His entire body went stiff as his eyes flew completely open, unable to believe that you were sitting there with him.

“H-holy shit,” he coughed, trying to sit up, “Y/N?”

He was conscious and able to speak, so you punched him in the upper arm, “As soon as I can my ass, Nestor.”

He winced and smiled, and you could see all of the motions in his eyes, “I’m…I’m sorry.”

“You fucking should be.”

“I am.”

“Good.”

There were a few beats of silence and then he heard the crinkling of the wrap on your arm as you crossed them and he nodded towards it, “Fresh?”

Heat instantly flooded to your face and you fought the urge to get up and run out of the room, “Got it yesterday.”

“Can I see?”

You hated that he was talking to you like everything was normal, but you couldn’t lie and said that you didn’t miss it. Taking a deep breath, you laid your arm down on the hospital bed for him to inspect. A smile instantly took over his features when he saw what it was. He looked up at you, and when he saw the happiness and hurt both in your expression, his smile dulled a little bit.

“I’m so sorry.”

“What the fuck, Nestor?”

“I know, I know. I should’ve said something.”

“Uh…yea.”

“When they let me out of here, will you let me take you somewhere and tell you all about it?”

“I mean. I guess. But only because I’m nosey,” you managed a smile through the tears.

“I love you.”

The words made your heart skip a beat in your chest, “I love you too.”

“That’s way less clunky than a cast,” he tapped the plastic wrap.

You smiled, wiping the tears away, “Yea, I guess so.”

“I can’t believe you still have the same number after all these years.”

You paused, looking down at your hands, “I kept it in case your ass decided to smarten up and call me one of these days.”

“Hospital calling you on my behalf doesn’t count?”

You narrowed your eyes at him, “No. No it doesn’t.”

He reached over and clasped your hand in his, “I’m really glad that you’re here.”

With a deep sigh, you leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the side of his forehead, careful to miss all the scrapes, “Me too.”

There was so much more to be said, but it could wait. You tried to soak up the feeling of his hand over yours, smiles appearing on both of your faces despite the lost time and the gravity of the situation. A lot of things had changed, but as you felt the heat from his palm and the way his thumb traced back and forth over your hand, you knew the important things were still exactly the same.