#i’ve been focusing so much on who i am these past few days and im seeing astonishing changes in beingness

[justajsworkshop]

holy shit. just saw christ and yogananda during meditation—i was on the cusp of consciousness, about to fall asleep—and they said “you already know how to do this,” referring to the void state. and i had this sudden clarity to just resist nothing—nothing i feel, nothing i experience, no judgments on what i think i “should” be doing—resist none of it, and to simply allow the experience to take me.

i didn’t enter, but i did feel this astounding clarity and conviction that this is who i am and that i have been victorious, with a resounding feeling of “i did it”. what an amazing experience. i feel so clear now. set the intention, then resist nothing.

[lxvsiick]

TOO SWEET | LEE RIWOO X READER

PAIRING: donut lover! lee riwoo x clueless! fem! reader

SUMMARY: After stealing the last donut from him, Riwoo declares Y/n as his enemy -- in which Y/n is clueless to the rivalry between her and Riwoo after stealing the last donut from the bakery.

GENRE: one-sided rivalry, enemies to lovers?, imagine

WORDCOUNT: 1.9k

A/N: a riwoo imagine/story! im so sorry it took awhile for me to write a riwoo story! i had many ideas for him but didn't know how to execute it ,, i also just go back from an nct dream concert so i am a little tired ,, anyways, enjoy!

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ☆

The smell of fresh pastries hit Riwoo as he and his friends piled into the bakery. His eyes immediately locked onto the display case, and there it was—the last glazed donut, shining like a beacon of happiness in an otherwise dreary morning.

“I’ve been dreaming about this donut for days,” he announced dramatically, pushing his friends aside with an excited grin. “Today’s the day.”

Just as he approached the counter, the worker sighed and picked up the microphone, voice crackling through the bakery's speakers. “Attention customers, we are now officially out of donuts. Thank you!”

His heart stopped. “What? No donuts?” he said, disbelief and shock mixing in his tone. Riwoo leaned over the counter, craning his neck to see who had snatched it. There, sitting by the window, casually taking a bite of his donut, was none other than her—the girl from three of his classes.

Y/n.

His eyes narrowed as she wiped some sugar off her cheek, oblivious to his presence.

“No way,” he muttered, stepping back from the counter. “It was her.”

His friends exchanged confused looks. “Who?” Jaehyun asked.

“That girl,” he said, pointing dramatically in her direction. “She’s in three of my classes... and she just took the last donut.”

There was a long pause as his friends stared between him and the girl, slowly processing what just happened.

“She’s my enemy now.”

Woonhak snorted. “Are you serious?”

“Dead serious,” Riwoo said, crossing his arms. “She has declared war.”

As if on cue, Y/n glanced up from her seat, caught his gaze, and smiled sweetly, completely unaware of the chaos she had just unleashed in his world.

His friends burst into laughter. "Dude, I think you're overreacting."

“Nope. This is personal,” he said with a deadpan expression, eyes still fixed on her as if they were in the middle of a silent showdown.

"Your donut obsession's gonna get you killed one day," Sungho joked, slapping his back.

"Only if she gets to me first," he said, turning away with mock intensity.

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ☆

The lecture hall buzzed with the usual pre-class chatter as Riwoo slouched in his seat, scrolling through his phone. Sungho sat beside him, lazily flipping through the notes from last week’s lecture, not really paying attention.

“Dude, I don’t get why we have to be here so early,” Sungho grumbled, tossing the notebook onto the desk.

“Because,” Riwoo replied, still focused on his screen, “if I have to suffer, so do you.”

Just then, the door to the lecture hall swung open, and a group of students entered, chatting and finding their seats. Riwoo didn’t pay much attention until he saw her—Y/n—walking in with her friend, laughing at something they were talking about.

His heart skipped for a brief second, and before he knew it, his eyes were glued to her.

She passed by his row, locking eyes with him for the briefest moment. She smiled—a sweet, innocent smile that lit up her face. She gave a small wave, like she hadn’t taken the last donut at the bakery just a couple of days ago.

He stared back, frozen in place. “Oh, she’s good,” he muttered under his breath.

As soon as she and her friend walked past, finding seats a few rows ahead, he turned to Sungho, face set in a serious expression.

“Did you see that?” he whispered, voice low as if he was about to reveal a grand conspiracy.

Sungho raised an eyebrow, glancing over at Y/n before turning back to him. “See what?”

“That smile,” Riwoo hissed. “She smiled at me. Like nothing happened. Like she didn’t steal my donut right from under my nose.”

Sungho blinked in confusion. “Uh...okay? What’s the big deal?”

He leaned in closer, his tone darkening dramatically. “She’s my enemy, man. Don’t you get it? That was a taunt. She’s mocking me.”

“Dude, she smiled at you. It’s a smile, not a declaration of war.”

“No, no, no. That’s exactly what she wants you to think,” he said, shaking his head. “That smile was strategic. It was planned. She’s trying to mess with me.”

Sungho snorted, holding back laughter. “So, let me get this straight: you think she’s secretly plotting against you because of... a donut?”

“Exactly,” he said, pointing a finger like he’d just cracked the code to some great mystery. “It’s psychological warfare. She’s playing the long game.”

Sungho leaned back in his chair, giving him a look that was part disbelief, part amusement. “You’re out of your mind.”

“I’m telling you, she’s my nemesis now,” he said with finality, crossing his arms.

Sungho shook his head, laughing under his breath. “You’re gonna have to get over that donut someday, man.”

“Never,” Riwoo replied, glancing once more at Y/n sitting a few rows ahead. “This isn’t about the donut anymore. It’s about principle.”

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ☆

Riwoo slouched in his seat, staring at the clock as it ticked closer to the start of class. Without his friends in this lecture, the room felt emptier, and he wasn’t sure whether that was a blessing or a curse. He glanced around, vaguely recognizing some faces but not caring enough to acknowledge anyone.

His eyes drifted to the door as more students shuffled in—and then, of course, she walked in. Y/n, his sworn enemy, the girl who took the last donut and smiled at him as if she hadn't committed a crime against humanity. She sat a couple of rows ahead of him, chatting with someone else, completely unaware of the silent feud raging in his mind.

He sighed, burying his head in his hands. “I can’t escape her,” he muttered under his breath.

The professor cleared his throat at the front of the room, silencing the chatter. “Alright, everyone. Today, we’re starting the partner project I mentioned last week. I’ll be assigning the pairs. No, you don’t get to choose.”

Riwoo groaned internally. “Great,” he thought sarcastically. “Just what I need. Some random classmate to drag me down.”

The professor began rattling off names, pairing students up row by row. Riwoo wasn’t really listening until he heard—

“Lee Sanghyuk and... Jung Y/n.”

His heart stopped. Her? He blinked in disbelief, sitting up straight in his chair. “No way,” he whispered to himself, cursing under his breath. Out of all the people in this class, he had to be partnered with her? The universe was mocking him.

“Of course,” he muttered, crossing his arms. “Of course, it’s her.”

As if on cue, Y/n turned around in her seat, flashing him that sweet, innocent smile again. She waved lightly. “Sanghyuk! Looks like we’re partners!” she said brightly, as if this were the best news she’d heard all day.

He forced a tight smile, trying to mask the turmoil swirling inside him. “Y-yeah,” he said, his voice strained. “Lucky me.”

She hopped out of her seat and moved to sit beside him, dropping her bag on the desk with a friendly grin. “I’m so glad! I was really hoping I’d get someone I know. This project’s gonna be so much fun!”

Riwoo blinked at her enthusiasm. Fun? The word echoed in his mind like some kind of cruel joke. How could she be so cheerful when she was his nemesis? She had no idea what kind of rivalry she’d unknowingly sparked.

He shot a quick glance around the room, hoping no one else noticed the sheer irony of this situation. Meanwhile, she was already pulling out her notebook, flipping to a fresh page with a determined look on her face. “So, I was thinking we could divide the work evenly. I’ll handle the research part, if you’re cool with the writing. Or we could switch if that’s better for you.”

Riwoo blinked, thrown off by her kindness. “Uh... yeah, sure. Whatever works,” he said, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

Y/n beamed at him. “Great! We make a good team already, huh?”

His jaw clenched slightly. A good team? Was she serious? Didn’t she realize she had stolen his donut, smiled at him like nothing happened, and now, the universe was forcing them to work together? This was some next-level psychological warfare.

She glanced at him, noticing his quietness. “Are you okay? You seem... tense.”

“Tense?” he repeated, trying to laugh it off. “No, no. I’m fine.” Inside, though, he was still cursing his luck. How could she be so oblivious?

“Awesome! I’ll message you tonight with some ideas so we can start brainstorming,” she said, already scribbling down some notes. “I’m really looking forward to this!”

He stared at her, utterly baffled. How could someone be this sweet? And why did it feel like it made the whole situation worse?

“Yeah... me too,” he mumbled, forcing a smile. But inside, all he could think was, This is going to be a nightmare.

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ☆

Riwoo pushed open the door to the bakery, the familiar scent of fresh pastries filling the air. His eyes instinctively scanned the room for her, the girl who had unknowingly become the source of his donut-related anguish.

There she was—sitting at a table near the window, already settled in. She was leaning over her notebook, scribbling something down, but as he approached, she looked up and met his gaze with that same sweet smile. The one that used to make his blood boil.

“Hey, Sanghyuk!” Y/n greeted, her voice cheerful as she waved him over. “I went ahead and got us some desserts. I hope that’s okay.”

Riwoo raised an eyebrow, glancing down at the table. There, in front of her, was a plate with an assortment of donuts. Glazed, powdered, chocolate—every kind imaginable. His heart sank, and then leapt, all at once.

“I didn’t know what flavors you liked,” she continued with an innocent shrug, “so I just got a bunch. I figured we could share. I love donuts. They’re one of my favorites.”

His brain short-circuited for a moment. Did she just say donuts are her favorite?

“You... you like donuts?” he asked, cautiously sitting down across from her, eyes still fixated on the pile of pastries.

She giggled lightly. “Yeah, they’re my absolute favorite. I probably eat way too many of them, but I can’t help it. They’re so good, right?”

Riwoo blinked, stunned. This couldn’t be real. The girl who had taken the last donut in front of him—his enemy, his nemesis—also loved donuts? The very thing that had sparked his irrational rivalry?

“Uh... yeah, they’re my favorite too,” he admitted, leaning back in his chair as his mind reeled. “I didn’t know.”

She beamed, looking genuinely pleased. “Really? That’s awesome! We’ve got something in common then. Maybe we should work at bakeries instead of focusing on this project,” she joked, popping a small piece of donut into her mouth.

Riwoo couldn’t help but stare at her, dumbfounded. This was the same girl he’d been holding a grudge against for days—over a donut, no less—and now, here she was, sharing donuts with him, unknowingly erasing the rivalry he’d built in his head.

His initial instinct was to remain defensive, but as he watched her happily munch on the pastries, a strange realization crept in. She wasn’t his enemy. In fact, she might actually be... nice. Maybe even too nice.

“She’s not that bad,” he muttered under his breath, leaning forward to grab a donut from the plate. His one-sided rivalry suddenly seemed ridiculous. Maybe he could put it on hold, at least for now.

“What was that?” Y/n asked, looking up from her notebook.

“Oh, nothing,” he said, offering a half-smile as he took a bite of his donut. “Just thinking... maybe we make a good team after all.”

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ☆

MASTERLIST

© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, lxvsiick, 2024

[liliumsabyss]

So I’ve seen that you are accepting request? Then… may I please request a Dainsleif x Male reader? Where the reader is like the traveler, but they’re disguised as wondering, mythical dancer in pursuit to learn and teach more art of a special dance. But while they travelling they take a short break to practice a dance, unaware that a certain knight is watching him from afar. And as Dainsleif continues to watches him dance, an enchanting feeling washes over the knight as he continues to watch the reader dance. As reader finishes practicing his dancing, all Dainsleif could feel is nothing, but total relief over his both body and mind. This goes on a a few nights, until the reader ask Dainsleif to join him in a waltz under the stars. The waltz finishes and they both exchange names and the reader bid him farewell, but not before saying in quiet tone "that they will both will met again and have another waltz under the stars."

So I hope this is enough for you to work with.

Waltz Under the Stars

FEM DNI I SWEAR YOU WILL BE BLOCKED

Dainsleif x Male Reader

Fluffy Oneshot

Summary: Two stranger have a waltz under the stars

Word Count: 1,187

Tw: Breif mentions of war and other things containing Dainsleif’s past, Unedited

A/n: Im am very sorry this took so long. I hope you enjoy this! And thank you so much for providing a plot in such depth it helped me in writing this so much!

You had been traveling for hours on end only to be a couple of hours outside the city of freedom. Your reasons for traveling as largely as you did varied between two reasons one the truth and the other truthful but more of a cover. The truth being is you awoke in this world with only one thing in your memory but a type of dance and your name. The cover was to spread your dance teaching the ways of it to any who may be interested as you traveled which was true in part but it was more so to see if anyone could identify where the dance had come from and maybe that is where you came from as well. And so that brings you to the clearing in which you stood taking off your shoes and socks. You stood your bare feet together, arms by your side, the music from the capital of Monstadt faintly being carried amongst the breeze, you outstretched your arms and started to practice. Your feet and legs delicately swiveled, pointed, lifted and turned your arms flowing in tandem. Little to your knowledge a certain knight stood in the trees around the clearing peering in curiosity at your unfamiliar presence. The blonde haired knight watched enchanted when you danced your moves matching the song that carried from the city, the moonlight lighting up your gestures, and for once he felt peace. Peace from the everlasting war, peace from immortality, peace from the world, peace for the gods, just peace, he felt calm and his mind had been rendered blank. And he just continued to watch you practice through the night till near dawn when you sat down and drifted off to sleep. And the other male walked off. 

Each night as you practiced the knight would come and watch you dance under the moonlight each time taking the weight that he felt off his chest. However little to his knowledge is on the third night you had spotted him in the cover of night a slight shimmer came from the man's golden designs of his outfit. And with a little focusing of your eyes revealed the stranger hiding amongst the trees watching with what appeared to be a neutral expression but upon closer inspection a gentle smile hid on his face. You didn’t mind the blonde's attention on you as you practiced night after night only resting in the mornings but by the time you'd wake the sun was high in the sky and the other male was gone. It was the seventh day the sun was setting and you prepared to practice once more, once again taking off your shoes and socks putting your bare feet together. This time without waiting for the music of the night that streamed from the city you began. The blonde stranger hadn’t appeared yet, most likely waiting for the cover of darkness. You still danced regardless of any of the circumstances of the moment. And so as you swung your body around gracefully yet powerfully until you noticed the sky was once again dark and the music of the main city flowed through the air. And when you noticed you stopped your steps looking around trying to spot the obscured blonde stranger, and when you saw the slight shine of his armor in an attempt to hide in a lush shrub.

“ Hello Stranger…may I ask for a dance?” You asked somewhat timidly towards the figure in the brush hoping you made eye contact but through the dark it was too hard to tell. The shrub let out a rustle as the other male climbed out of it stepping onto the leafy ground that made crackling noises with every approaching step towards you until he stood right in front of you. He looked at you, his crystal teal blue eyes remained neutral as was the expression on his face.

“ Only if you’d like.” he says slightly bowing his head in response.

“ Well then would you like to lead or follow?” You asked joyfully to his response as you smiled at him, happy to have someone to dance with once again.

“ Lead…please” he mumbled lowly so you could barely hear him looking for approval from you. Once you nodded he put one hand out as his other arm folded behind him.

You grabbed his hand as he grasped it pulling you closer to him, your arms extending sideways. His other hand clasped your hip as you clasped his shoulder. And so the two of you were off waltzing to the sounds of nature and the music of the main city being carried on the wind. You were whirling around your feet maneuvering around each other, the only light you had was the faint glow from the city and the moonlight that showed perfectly through the clearing. The coolness of his hands felt nice in comparison to the warm climate of Monstadt. His face was so close to yours as you did nothing but stare until a huge grin broke out on your face for some inexplicable reason and the other male in front of you let out a small smile that was barely noticeable but there none the less. The dance lasted for what felt like a lifetime of peace even though it could have only been minutes and so the whirling slowed down till you came to a stop. The blonde male and you each stepped back away from the other starring still.

“ May I ask for your name?” You asked bowing slightly, looking at him with a small playful smirk on your face.

“ Dainsleif” The man whispered under his breath so quietly you thought it must've been your imagination until he spoke up slightly, “ And may I ask for yours?”

And when you told him your name in response the corners of his lips twitched as his mouth opened slightly repeating your name back to you. So in likeness you repeated his name back to him with a kinda warmth in your tone that most could only hope to imitate. 

“ Well Dainsleif,” You started as you grabbed your stuff placed around you, “ I have very much enjoyed your company however I must bid you farewell, I have to continue my journey.”

Dainsleif had a look on his face that you couldn’t quite figure out what it meant but you just gave out a reassuring hum as you continued to collect your stuff. Scrambling around the clearing stuffing your various possessions into your brown leather bag while trying to get on your shoes as the other male watched you silently. By the time you had collected all your stuff still stood watching you, his arms crossed in front of his chest. You approached him once again giving a slight bow before immediately turning away briskly walking away. And as you got to the edge of the clearing before setting out into the dark you stopped turning your head to see Dainsleif frozen in place before you whispered under your breath.

“ And they will both will meet again and have another waltz under the stars…”

[raccoonfallsharder]

hii tiny lil violet anon here :DD sadly i havent been able to work on rocket fic bc suddenly theres been a huge influx in work to do & i’ve been super tired ߹𖥦߹ i hope youre doing well though! just wanted to pop in and wish you a nice day ٩( ᐛ )و♡

(side note: out of curiosity, how did you get into guardians of the galaxy and rocket specifically?)

tiny lil violet nonnie, you are too sweet && this made my morning thank yoooou ‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚. i’m sorry your work has gotten in the way of you doing more enjoyable things, and im so sorry it has you so exhausted! i hope you get to rest soon ♡

i’ve always loved comics but i was not really a marvel kid — mostly a dc/image/mirage kid. i’ve also always loved comics adaptions (my dad and i had a complicated relationship to put it mildly BUT i think we saw every batman movie ever made together, before the dceu…. happened). so i fell very easily into the marvel movies when they started coming out (except the hulk movies. i don’t believe in those.)

anyway i honestly just saw gotg 1 because it was a comic book movie. i didn’t know much about it walking in. i actually didn’t love the first movie in my first viewing. i can’t remember why - maybe i already hated chris pratt lol. i know i thought starlord as a character was kinda…boring. but what saved the movie for me was groot (adored him) and rocket (the minute we saw that fuckin raccoon’s back i was like…wtf why isn’t this movie about him??).

and you know. there was the snark. the voice. all that. i was in denial but it was there. im just predisposed to love a grumpy wounded person desperately trying to hide a heart of gold

then gotg 2 came out and i loved it. it was probably in my top three favorite marvel movies. it was so good i think it made the first movie better??? we got to see so much more of not just rocket’s backstory but who he is. how he interacts with people he loves. how he self-sabotages. how he shows care. i just wanted to bundle him up and protect him. and aside from rocket, this is also where i fell in love with yondu. and i am a sucker for a sibling dynamic (startling no-one) so i loved the nebula & gamora arc too.

i probably started rewatching both movies at this point. not obsessively but they were definitely comfort rewatches. and partner has the marvel unlimited app so i was catching up on a lot of the comics

narrative structure is also really important to me and i have a rigorous list of what makes a “”good” trilogy (different t from what makes a “fun” trilogy) and gotg is like. one of two or three trilogies that make the cut.

then 3. ugh. once the first trailer came out and it was clearly focused on rocket, i stayed away from all gotg media. put a pause on reading the comics — everything. i wanted to go in with no preconceived notions. a few things had happened to me in the year or so prior to the movie coming out. i’ll skip explaining those because they require their own content warnings and this is already very long but suffice it to say i was predisposed to feel very strongly about this movie.

so. 3 broke my heart but it also put it back together. i think it might be the most realistically hopeful movie i’ve ever seen. from a narrative perspective, each character is so loved by gunn. they were each given the ending they needed and deserved. but also i felt like the message of the movie was this:

no matter how fucked up and ugly you think you or your past are, you deserve to allow yourself the possibility of joy & connection.

and i just. i needed that. as a mental health professional, i think almost all the clients ive ever worked with have needed that. i think a lot of the world needs that.

anyway that’s how i fell in love

starlord still bores me tho

[sereniv]

hi! i saw one of your posts about native americans reconnecting, but i have a hard time understanding things so i thought i’d just ask you specific question:

So, i wanna reconnect to my native side, but i dont know if its disrespectful or not. Basically, i look really white and dont tan easily. I have some native features and all but they arent that noticeable.

now some backstory about my native side:

i know two or more of my relatives died on the trail of tears on my moms side that i know about. We have their information and stuff like that where it shows that they are native. then i have 2 more ancestors i know of who were my great great grandparents. they were native and i believe they lived in a reservation or tribe. I think my great great grandma died in like the late 1800’s. Then, their grandchild, whos my great grandma, you could tell she was really native by looking at her if that makes sense. she died in 2004.

my great uncle on my dad’s side also lives on a reservation too.

i know i have more native ancestors because the native ancestors i know of for sure, have like 5+ children or a bit less.

most of my native ancestors were like in the 1800’s to early 1900’s.

i know i belong to a few tribes, one of them being cherokee. My mom told me the other tribes but i forgot the names.

neither me or my parents grew up around the culture, but i want to learn more about my family and where i come from and be involved in the culture.

Would it be disrespectful if i called myself a native or reconnect?

sorry if this doesn’t make sense or if its too long i’ve just been wondering about this for a while

have a good day <3

Wow this is a lot!

ok so

Firstly, though i get what you are meaning, there is no one way to look native. But i assume you mean looking sterotypically native, but again that doesnt hold up to mean much in terms of you being native

Secondly, when it comes to reconnecting (and calling yourself native) you should ask yourself why its important.

For me, i had always struggled with identity especially on forms, though not as native. I was told i was native but it was unclear because no one would talk about it.

Then i connected with a cousin and learned some info and found out i have Yaqui heritage and it felt like a piece of the puzzle. But that created a new emptyness that needed a piece and i still have that, and thats the actual reconnecting

Reconnecting looks a lot of ways, but the biggest thing is community. what are you doing for the community either within your tribes or indian country as a whole

this can mean learning your language (what im doing), learning your history (i am slowly). getting involved which can mean many things from donating to participating

but it shouldnt be a preformance. you should still be you. finding out youre native or reconnecting doesnt mean suddenly you are now more spiritual or that you have to look or be some certain way

Reconnecting is catching up on what you didnt grow up on. its going slow. its understanding your place in the community

now everyone is different, but for me i dont think ill ever feel Native like i belong. ill always feel like an outside ill always doubt myself.

But ive tried ignoring it and "just being white" like ive tried in the past and it always feels like a lie. but it would also feel like a lie if i didnt include being white (italian), because i am white. but i am also native.

Recognizing your privileges as someone who looks white and (if like me) grew up white is important.

But also internalizing that being White isnt bad. Which sounds silly, but a lot of mixed people nd people reconnecting tend to see their white side as tarnishing. as bad or boring

White as a race doesnt exist. Race doesnt exist BUT it exists in our society, therefor its still an important distinction in conversations

For example. White privilege, not Italian privilege But Italian heritage and ancestry, not white heritage and ancestry

What i always tell people is before focusing on claiming native, is to first claim your white side. Because every "white" culture (maybe except british idk lol) has its own music, language, history, food, traditions and customs, etc.

For me im big on family and ancestry, to imagine the people and their lives who came before me. I like thinking about it

So being italian i feel pride, not because i grew up italian culture, but because that is my history. i was always told i was italian growing up. that is part of me. same as being scottish/irish. it all is a story and im interested in that story

But i always knew more about being italian and scottish/irish, rather than Mexican/hispanic/native. and thats because my dad wasnt in my life which is why it was a big part of me that felt empty

Now you dont have to have struggled with identity or anything like that

but you have to have a reason. And the thing is, is you can even NOT claim native. You can say you have native heritage, you can learn you can do everything youd do if you claimed it, but recognize that You as a person just arent native your history is, but maybe you just cant feel that connection

and thats fine. But hold out on claiming native until you can tell whether or not you Are. And that is different for everyone.

But recognizing your history and heritage is a great way of connecting without Being. its hard to explain

The reason why i claim and not just recognize is out of anger at assimilation in the family. native and italian. out of the feeling of loss, never have grown up with any of it because of assimilation

I have family who is enrolled, i have family who speaks italian. and im bitter because i always felt ..something about that even though i could never put it into words. and still cant really

So ask yourself why claiming native is important. what does being native mean to you? for me it feels like defiance and it feels like embodiment and it feels like reconnecting (though because of disability i cant do even half of what i would like, but i do my best)

I feel so much anger and sadness and longing and in a way worse than i was before i learned more about my heritage. i feel even more broken in pieces especially when i cant participate because no one records anything and i cant make zoom calls because im always too tired

or when theres memes and i dont get them, italian or mexican or native or yaqui

and this is common ive found for mixed and people who are reconnecting

its a commitment. that you can go back on i guess

but for me thats not an option even if i wanted to because i would again, feel like im lying

First thing you want to do is sit on it, think about what is important, connect with your other sides be interested in that

ask yourself what this all means and address your initial feelings

and remember that you can recognize your history, your heritage, without claiming it.

which can sound confusing. but it feels different. you refer to it differently. You are an ally, rather than being.

i feel like im in the middle, the line always moving. back and forth but always in the middle

And ive seen people ive talked to, realize that they dont connect to being native. That acknowledging their history, and even being involved while not claiming feels right. that claiming never had heft to it. it was empty words

but acknowledging can feel just as meaningful as claiming could feel. full, and meaningful and like a piece to your puzzle

So really introspect, think about it, get involved

and for other people's sake, only claim if you Are. because its not like a Queer identity where you can try it on

it can hurt people if you just try it on.

And i know for me it felt like i had to make up for lost time right away. but i realized that i have time. it shouldn't feel like making up for lost time. you accept that the past happened. and thats it

talk to people, learn your language, your history, know where you are in a conversation by sticking to what youve experienced and letting others talk when its something you havnt experienced

and just be in the present. there is no rush, there is no alarm. And it can feel that way, like you have to cram everything in.

But when you claim native it should be because you Are native. And that means you have always been

because native isnt just one thing. and it is also not blood quantum

and it also isnt just 'a feeling' (like, in a sterotype way)

Its really hard to explain but basically, slow down. you have all the time in the world to figure these things out. your heritage and history arent going anywhere.

when i talked to my cousin, i felt waves of emotion all kinds, and it felt like i had to rush. almost like before this information floated away i had to catch it

and it was anxiety inducing, i guess thats what it was, anxiety

but now i feel more normal. still have issues lol, but i feel i can relax more and know that i have all the time in the world to reconnect. even if that means learning a new word a month if thats the best i can do.

i could go on but i think this is long enough sorry i tend to type a lot 😅

sorry if i didnt answer everything, you can re-ask and clarify if you want

edit: also idk if i put this already but you should look into your tribe and contact them or family members like cousins and actually like confirm that you have history with that tribe thats where you start when reconnecting

it can get complicated if you can't figure it out and it doesnt mean you aren't native but cross that bridge when you come to it.

and this is just one story, one feeling, one opinion

i recommend going to reddit in the the mixed subreddit or native american (theres no real sub for mixed natives so you can try both) and asking your question you asked me to get a more well rounded view

[keefwho]

December 24 - 2022

8:17 AM

Im annoyed, theres a winter storm warning that directly suggests power outages could happen which is rare for them to do. That makes me slightly nervous. I wish I hadn’t checked it at all. Personally I am unaware what this kind of storm can do. Its a period of rain that will immediately turn to ice. They say the power outages could happen directly due to ice but I don’t know how that happens. Guess I’ll see this evening. I hate having to wait for it. 

8:54 AM

I don’t want to fester on this today. It’ll take a little effort but I gotta forget about it and do the things I wanna do. I’m as prepared as I can be for anything and thats all I can do. 

10:21 AM

It really is nice having wholesome and correct goals like accepting myself for who I am. For lots of reasons in the past I’ve closed myself off from intimacy and even normal friendships, probably because I was too focused on being someone generically likeable. But I’ve long since learned thats not how socializing works or what I need as a person. My long term development has turned into discovering and accepting myself as an individual and making new more genuine connections because of it. 

Something I keep forgetting is to not overthink. It can be as simple as “just stop thinking” when I catch it and that’s what I’ve been doing the past couple days. Usually I’ll try to re-rationalize my thinking but it doesn’t get far. It’s much more useful to simply think less so I can better guide my focus to things that need doing. 

4:33 PM

Fuck it, I’ll coomer post. I sucked myself off earlier (kinda) but I keep having this problem where I can’t get into the right mindset for it even though I want to do it. I always want to get immersed and imagine my dick is someone else’s, guided by either an image, video, or fanfic. But if I can’t find the right thing Im in the mood for, I just jerk myself off until I get close while scrolling around and finish with just a few seconds of succ. I end up wasting a lot of time like this and it’s never worth it. Next time I want to try to commit to something beforehand, maybe even a single image. 

[iwadori]

Haikyu Boys when they neglect you for another girl PT 2(Oikawa)

Part 1  Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Word count: 2.1K

Genre: angst,fluff

Oikawa:

You Oikawa and Iwaizumi have been best friends for as long as you can remember  

You thought that Iwaizumi liked you, but all thoughts of that left your head once Oikawa confessed to you when you were in your last year of middle school.

You and Oikawa started dating you in highschool in your first year and have been inseperable ever since.

You and Oikawa were as opposite as you were the same making you a perfect match.

It was the first day of your final term of your third year. You and Oikawa were planning to go the same university but to do that you obviously need to pass your entrance exams so you fully immersed in your studies.  

You have been the manager of Seijoh since your first year, but because of how time consuming it is and you now fully want to focus on your studies you decided to step down from your title. However, you still were fully supportive of the team making sure to go to every one of their games and even coming to majority of their practices with your textbooks and notes with you.

It seems someone took your place as the manager, yet you don’t know who as have been so busy all you could do in finding your replacement was stick up some posters telling whoever wanted the job to talk to the coaches. But you hope the new manager is at least half as good as you.

You decide after school, you were going to take a break from studying so you went to go to the gym to see your boyfriend and the guys at practice. When you enter, you see all the boys fussing and fanning over someone who you couldn’t tell who it was.  

You spot Iwaizumi away from the crowd tying his laces, when you approach him he looks up and smiles fondly at you, “Hey Y/N” he says schooching over so you can sit next to him.

“Hey Haji” you say ruffling his hair playfully “Who’s the celebrity?”  

“Oh Ririka-san” he responds “The new manager” when he says this he slightly scowls, but you don’t quite catch it as your focus is on your boyfriend who is being his usual boastful self infront of who you presume is ‘Ririka-san.’

As the group disperses, they all approach you with Oikawa lifting you up and spinning you obnoxiously making you laugh at his action. “Well hello to you to Tooru” you say kissing him on the cheek.

You look in front of you and there was Ririka with her hand extended out for you to shake “Hi I'm Yagami Ririka” she says “But you can call me Ririka, you’re Y/N right?”  

You shake her hand quickly dropping it responding with a dry “hi.” Oikawa notices the awkward atmosphere that you created with your response and decides to drag you away to show you his serves. You weren’t fully focused on your boyfriend, with your eyes occasionally drifting to the new girl who seemed to give you a bad vibe from your first introduction.

Practice ends, and Oikawa walks you home (per usual.) Once you are at home, you decide to social stalk Ririka to see if you can find something to confirm your suspicions on her. You’re claims weren’t based on anything besides a vibe but since she is apparently in your year and always has been you find it weird that you haven’t heard a word about her all until now. You don’t find anything on her, besides her being as ‘perfect’ as she seems.

As you and Oikawa walk home together again from the next day’s practice, you were hoping that he shared your same concerns about Seijohs manager but when you ask “Kawa.. Don't you think Ririka-san is a bit odd?”

He looks at you curiously, smiles and says “No of course not, Rii-chan is fine”

‘Rii-chan’ you think, a slight pang of jealousy surges through you at the use of this newfound nickname  

“In some ways she reminds me of you, you know?” he says chuckling, but you weren’t listening focused on the name he just called her.

“Rii-chan, huh?” you say

“It’s just a nickname Y/N, I give them to everone, you know that Y/N” he says

“Yeah yeah I know Kawa, I was just overthinking that’s all” you lie, you knew Oikawa gave everyone a nickname but this one definitely stuck on your mind then all of others and although you can admit your jealousy but there was something else bothering you.

“Well don’t overthink too much” Oikawa says giving you a kiss on the forehead “Don’t want to heart your pretty head about it.” Oikawa then lets you enter your house before taking off to his own.

Over the next few weeks, you are mainly focused on your studies, barely having any time to be with your boyfriend at all. However, if you did even have the time to spend with Oikawa, he was definitely not available since all his time was now with ‘Rii-chan,’ whenever you asked him to hang out with you or to go on dates he always used the excuse of ‘Rii-chan needs help with the schedule and since IM THE CAPTAIN I have to help’ or ‘Rii-chan has no friends in our year, and since it seems that YOU don’t want to befriend her im doing the nice thing by becoming her friend’ and with that you always wanted to reply with ‘maybe no one wants to be her friend because she’s such a bitch’ but you held your tounge.

Today you were fed up with your boyfriends lack of being around and decided to go to his house in the hopes that you can watch a movie or do something together. When you get there, you knock on his door and you hear him shout “Come up it’s open,” was he expecting you or something?

You go upstairs to his bedroom, where you know he’ll be and to your surprise when you open the door in his room it is basically set up like a movie date with food and snacks and a bunch of dvd’s and blankets set up on the floor. ‘Was he planning on you to be here?’ you think.

“Rii-chan you made I-” says Oikawa, stopping hisself when he sees that it’s not his beloved Rii-chan but only you his girlfriend Y/N.

“What the fuck Oikawa?” you ask  

“It is NOT what it looks like Y/N” he says standing up abruptly to approach you but you step back.

“Umm.. So it’s not my boyfriend of 3 years about to have a movie date with his manager after barely speaking to me, his GIRLFRIEND, for the past month?” you say folding you arms “ Did I get that right or am I missing something here?”

“Yes.. I mean No” he stammers “ It’s not a date at all, it’s just that Rii-chan say’s she never watched *insert your favourite movie here* and I thought it would be nice if I show it too her”

“Whatever you say ‘kawa” you say rolling your eyes, this seem to annoy Oikawa as he then sits back down harshly and says,

“God Y/N, ever since you met Rii-chan you’ve been so hostile for once can you not be a bitch! Me and her are just friends.” His aggressive tone shocks both you and him but he doesn’t seem to stop “All I'm saying is, you always wonder why me and Iwa-chan were your friends, haven’t you thought it was because you’re such a judgemental bitch”  

By now you were fed up, so you turn your back to Oikawa ready to leave the room but first you say “ Oikawa, I love you I always have, but I can’t be with you anymore especially since you can’t even see what’s going on. Remember when we used to have movie dates when we were ‘just friends” Your response leaves Oikawa with his eyes wide open since he didn’t expect you to basically break up with him, he thought this was a minor argument. Before he can speak, the door burst open and in comes Ririka who exclaims “Tooru! Im ready to watch M-….oh”  

“I guess I’d be taking my leave now” you say with tears in your eyes “Goodbye Oikawa this was fun”  

It’s been a while since the confrontation at Oikawa’s house and the school was a buzz since after hearing the news of yours and Oikawas break up the school immediately focused their attention on both Ririka and Oikawa the rumours of them being together spread like wildfire. However, to your surprise Oikawa apparently always combated the rumours claiming that him and Ririka were just ‘good friends and will stay that way.’

But you could care less, you still supported the team going to all the games they had making sure to stay clear away Oikawa and Ririka. You don’t go to the practices anymore since you didn’t want to submerge yourself in sweat and bad vibes anymore.

Graduation came and you were very happy, you could finally get out of this place. Once you get through the ceremony and all the boring stuff you go to the gym for one final ‘goodbye’ but before you have a chance to leave you are stopped by Iwaizumi  

“Hey Y/N” he says “how have you been?”  

“I’ve been good, pretty ‘busy’” you respond

“Busy as in, avoiding Oikawa at every cost” he says making you laugh “Come sit down with me for a second” to which you do sitting next to him on the gym bench.

You and Iwaizumi then spend the next hour reminiscing about all your past antics and stories making you laugh and smile fondly at all the nostalgia. After all your talk you pull out your phone to take a picture and you hear Iwaizumi whisper “He never deserved you” so quietly that you almost don’t catch what he says.  

Before you could respond in comes Oikawa of course panting “Y/N! Thank god you’re still hear I need to talk to you!”  

You look at Iwaizumi expecting him to say something but all his does is pull you into a tight hug and says “Goodbye Y/N I’ll miss you” he gets up and exits the room shouting “Make sure to answer my calls” making you chuckle.

Oikawa approaches you and sits in the spot that Iwaizumi does, he takes a deep breath and begins to stay “Y/N, you were right I was wrong. I am an idiot... Rii- I mean Ririka she tried to kiss me. Im sorry”

“Oikawa, you are right.. You're an idiot, but it shouldn’t of had to take me breaking up with you and Ririka trying to get with you to realise that I was right. Why did you even come here to tell me this, so I knew I was right? You didn’t need to confirm my suspicions I knew all along Oikawa”

You stand up to leave, hoping to find Iwaizumi before he goes home but Oikawa stops you. “Y/N I-I want to be with you, to go back to being how we were … don’t you want that”

“Oikawa...” you grab his hands “I love you, I always have and I always will... but I think we both know we aren’t meant to be.. Things haven’t been the best with us even before Ririka came along, it just took her to make us really notice it.”

“It’s him isnt it?” he says with tears in his eyes

“I think so... maybe it’s always been him I don’t know but we know how he is especially when we were 15 I guess you just got me to me first,” you say with tears in your eyes also

Oikawa pulls you into a hug and whispers in your ear “Go get him Y/N” you look at him and smile and nod you head “We will still be friends Tooru.”

You race out of the gym to look for Iwaizumi and you suddenly bump into him since he didn’t actually move he was there the whole time and it seems your indirect confession made him tear up too. “I love you Y/N” he pulls you into a hug which you return then pulls you into a deep kiss.

In the end, you and Iwaizumi do become boyfriend and gifriend still keeping Tooru as your good friend. You all also end up going to the same University and you and Iwaizumi live the rests of your lifes together as the ‘perfect’ couple with yours and Toorus relationship as a laughable memory.

AUTHORS NOTE: Please don’t hate me for this ending!! I had a bad day sooo I decided to switch things up please give me feedback on what you think !!

[itsdanii]

omg hi i binged read all your works (angst to fluff is srsly my fave aahh you write it so well!!) i really like your baby daddy scenario and i was wondering if you could one with suna (if youre comfortable!) 🥺 tysm i hope u have a nice day 💗💗

Hey, bub. Thank you so much for requesting, I'm glad to hear that you've been loving my works. Here's your request ♥️ I hope you like it. Have a good day and stay hydrated!

Baby Daddy pt. 2

1 |

genre: angst to fluff, comfort

warnings: cursing, rude behavior (resolved), mentions of nausea, self doubt, insecurity

a/n: please do read the warnings everytime before you proceed. warnings have been put there for a reason.

ft. suna rintarou

lesson 1: always communicate

lesson 2: the moment you hear your wife sobbing, abandon your pride, apologize and resolve the argument at hand

"Rin?" you mumbled sleepily as you sat up from the couch, groaning at the ache you felt for sleeping at such an uncomfortable position.

You've been waiting for your husband for almost three hours now. You messaged him beforehand to come home at around 8 pm because you have something important to tell him yet here you were, already 11 pm and still in the living room with a blanket wrapped around you as you watch your husband finally enter your house.

You knew that being a professional volleyball player for the national team was hard. You knew how passionate Rintarou is when it comes to his sport, and as his wife, who were you to discourage him?

But lately, Rintarou had been coming home late, sometimes even as late as midnight. What's worse is that he leaves too early in the morning, just settling on giving you a forehead kiss before heading out.

You weren't only worried about his health but as well as your relationship. You felt secured with your relationship but the longer this goes on, the more that security wavers.

What if one day he just realize that he no longer wants you?

"You're still up?" Rintarou said, throwing you a quick glance before taking off his shoes.

He made his way to you and cupped your cheek to angle your face to him. Leaning down, he kissed your forehead lovingly. "We have a bed, you know? You should've slept there instead of the couch."

"I was waiting for you," you answered with a small frown, "I sent you a message awhile ago but you didn't reply."

"Ah, I must've forgot." Your husband sighed and adjusted the strap of his sports bag, eyes still looking down at you. "I'm sorry. Is it okay if we just talk about it tomorrow? I'm really tired right now."

As Rintarou reached for your hand, you forcefully took it away and glared at him. "It's important, Rin. You should've went home early just like what I said!"

"Can you stop being a brat? I'm not in the mood for your tantrums."

You stood up angrily upon hearing that. With one hand on your hip, you pointed a finger at him out of frustration. "I'm not being a brat! You've been so busy these past few weeks, it's starting to feel like I don't exist to you anymore. You come home late, leave early, and repeat! I can't even remembered the last time we had breakfast, lunch, or dinner together!"

"Well, what do you want me to do? Abandon everything and focus on you? For fuck's sake, y/n, we're not in high school anymore! Not everything is about you, okay? Fucking grow up already." Rintarou fired back, his voice raising up making your blood boil even more.

"Grow up? You're telling me to grow up?" You chuckled for a bit before continuing your argument, "How hypocritical of you to say that, Rintarou. Have you even noticed what changed these past few weeks? I bet you haven't because you're too focused on yourself that you failed to notice your negligence towards your responsibilities as a husband."

"You know what? Leave me alone. Im too tired for this petty argument," he said before turning his back on you.

However, before Rintarou could even slam your bedroom door shut, he felt his entire being panic at the sound of you sobbing.

He immediately turned around and dropped his bag on the floor before making his way to your shaking figure. He encircled his arms around you and pressed your face to his chest, his hand rubbing circles on your back to calm you down.

"Don't you love me anymore, Rin?" you sobbed against his chest as you gripped his shirt tightly.

"Shh, of course I do, y/n. I didn't mean what I said, okay? I'm sorry, baby. I love you so much," he whispered beside your ear as he continued to comfort you. "I was just t-"

"I'm pregnant, Rin."

Rintarou froze. His hands stopped rubbing your back and no words were able to escape his mouth. He felt speechless and the feeling of guilt inside him only intensified.

"W-what?" he whispered as soon as he composed himself. He unwrapped his arm around you to take a closer look at your face.

"I'm pregnant," you repeated, blinking out the tears before looking down. "That's what I wanted to tell but we got into an argument instead. I've actually been feeling nauseous these past few weeks, I missed my period and I was having these weird cravings. I took the pregnancy test and I found out that I am indeed pregnant."

"Shit.." he murmured before shutting his eyes tightly. "I didn't know... I've been to focused on the upcoming tournament that I failed to notice. I'm so sorry, y/n."

Noting the way his voice quivered, you placed a hand to his cheek and guided his head down to your shoulder. "It's okay, Rin. I'm also sorry for overreacting. I know how much this tournament means to you and yet I still acted childish and inconsiderate."

"No." Your husband pulled you even closer to him, your body now basically pressed flush against his chest. "I'm sorry. I should've paid more attention. I can't believe I said such offensive words to you.."

"It's alright now, Rin. Just promise me that you'll balance your time, okay? I'm not demanding so much of your time, I just want you to acknowledge that you have a wife waiting for you, soon a family. I don't want our child to grow up feeling like they aren't their father's priority."

"I promise." He lifted his head from your shoulder to look down at you, his thumb wiping away the tears streaming down your cheeks. "I'm going to be the best father they could ever ask for. I love you so much, y/n."

"I love you too, Rin."

His hand slid down from your cheek to your nape as he leaned closer to you, lips hovering just above yours as he whispered, "Let me kiss you."

You stared at his lips with half lidded eyes, your arms wrapping his neck as he carefully lifted you up. "You don't even have to ask," you answered before finally crashing your lips with his, a small sigh of satisfaction emitting from you at the feeling of finally being in his arms.

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated ♥️

a/n: never let someone disregard your feelings. Your feelings are valid, stand your ground and fight for it.

[softyoongiionly]

Talk to Me in Korean (Advanced Edition)

Your boyfriend’s English is basically better than yours at this point.

After an amazing birthday, he decides to use his newfound skills to get ahead and begin planning next years celebration.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Genre: established relationship au, domestic au, idol! jk, this is a part three to my other talk to me in korean installments but they don’t have to be read in order :)

A/N: Hiiii I’m back??? Hopefully??? This past month has been ROUGH (but like 2020 am I rite?) so I’ve been having a ton of writers block but as always, Jungkook has a way of pulling me out of all of the that. I’m sorry this is like my 50000th domestic jk story in a row ok??? I CANT HELP IT, ITS HIS FAULT. okiii anyway I love you, it’s 3am- this is unedited and im so sleepy. I love you again. 

Warnings: smut (18+ only plz), more so dirty talking than anything but stillll 

Fresh coffee.  

It’s the first thing Jungkook smells when his eyes peek open.  

His flush against the white cotton of the pillow that still holds the scent of your shampoo.  

He literally can’t help the grin that erupts onto his lips as he remembers exactly how the night before played out.  

As he remembers exactly where he is.  

He remembers that his members had organized a surprise dinner for his birthday party which included the finest selection of meat, veggies and various other side dishes money could buy.  

Not to mention, they ended the evening the introduction of a giant banana milk themed cake.  

Despite stuffing himself till near immobilization as well as being surrounded by his best friends, nothing could have prepared him for his final gift: you.  

The boys had flown you in from out of town and organized for your arrival in the middle of the party.  

Jungkook may have shed a few tears as nothing could have made him happier than seeing his beautiful girlfriend pushing through the doors of the venue.  

Once the boys had gone to home, Jungkook had taken you up to his room to finish off the evening with birthday sex.  

Predictable? Maybe.

Did either of you care? Absolutely not.  

It had been 3 months since the two of you had seen each other and he was nothing short of desperate for your touch.  

Now however, he’s experiencing a different kind of bliss as the smell of bacon begins to waft in through his cracked bedroom door.  

His smile broadens as he realizes very quickly that the same beautiful woman who had made his birthday so special had woken up early to make him breakfast.  

He cannot begin to imagine how lucky he is but, he plans on using his day off to show you how much he appreciates you.  

In a million different ways...

Running a hand through the raven locks on his head, he pushes himself to a sitting position. Upon doing so, he notices the faint red marks over the valleys and curves of his stomach whilst simultaneously feeling a hint of pain across the middle of his back. He smirks to himself and curiously runs the tips of his fingers over the aggravated flesh of his stomach.  

What a night...

He finally stands up, moving his body in every necessary direction to stretch out the soreness in his muscles before taking note of his current attire.  

Given the events of last night, it surprised him that he had even managed to pull on the pair of white boxer-briefs that currently adorned his figure. He assumed he had fallen asleep naked.  

Jungkook experiences a pivotal moment then, completely on his own.  

He realizes that he doesn’t want to put anything else on.  

To some people, this wouldn’t be a big deal but to Jungkook, its everything.  

When he first travelled to Seoul, he was too shy to remove his shirt in front of his hyungs, let a lone strut around the dorm in his boxers.  

But with you, he’s finally starting to realize that not only is he comfortable with you but, he has a massive desire to express that to you.  

He wants you to have parts of him that no one else has.  

He wants you to know that you’re the only one who gets him this way.  

Without the fancy clothes, the layers of makeup, the band aids on his tattoos, the carefully scripted words and persona...

That you alone have all of him.  

He chuckles to himself, running a hand through his hair once again as he picks on himself for making such a big deal out of something so small.

But he knows that you’d get it and that quickly squashes any of his desire to make fun of himself.  

As he approaches his bedroom door, he feels the ghost of nerves directly in the pit of his stomach.  

Why was he nervous? You’ve literally seen him naked before.

He’s been inside of you more times than he can count so why was he overthinking going out to greet his girlfriend in his boxers?

He rolls his eyes at himself, “Because you’re weird, that’s why...” He mutters to himself before finally pushing open the door.  

His kitchen is off to the left, slightly tucked behind a bit of wall and he is annoyed with the layout of his apartment because he is getting in the way of immediately seeing your pretty face.  

When he does see you however, it’s entirely worth the wait.  

You’ve got a portable speaker set up a safe distance away from your work station emitting a bit of soothing music throughout the kitchen along with a pot of fresh coffee on the island with his favorite Iron Man mug sitting right next to it, awaiting his arrival. There’s a few pans on the stovetop sizzling with various breakfast items that Jungkook doesn’t care to notice at first because his eyes are far too concerned with you.  

And boy does he desperately wish that this was his daily life...

Your wear minimal clothing as well but there are fuzzy socks on your feet and a bit of bedhead adorning your crown and that’s really all that he needs to see to conclude that you are the most fantastic thing to ever grace the planet.  

“G’morning...” He nearly mumbles, placing a hand on the counter.

He ensures his voice is soft enough not to startle you and thankfully his presence emits nothing more but a smile from your lips.

You turn towards him with the same smile, eyes raking over his body shamelessly before returning his greeting, “Good morning birthday boy. Did you sleep ok?”

He chuckles lightly, his head cocking to the side in confusion, “My birthday was...yesterday yeah?”

Your smile grows at his question as you make your way over to the sleepy man before you.

“It was.” You concede and as you near his figure, you slide your hands around his waist, “But I wasn’t with you the whole day so, I’m trying to make up for lost time.”

Immediately, he grins boyishly his capable hands sliding up your body to pull you flush against his.

“But you already gave me so many presents...” He insists, leaning towards your lips, “Remember last night?”

You take a moment to admire how good his English has gotten and silently applaud him for managing to lead such an incredibly busy life and learn a second language all at the same time. You try your best not to vocalize your praise to often though because you know how shy it makes him.  

Before you can answer, he presses his lips to yours, humming gently in his throat and promptly smiling into your mouth.  

As you indulge in him for a moment your fingers gently brush the tan skin across his back. Your touch sends a shiver up your boyfriends back which then gives you no choice but to return the smile present in your kiss.

“Duh...” You murmur which prompts a delighted chuckle to escape his mouth, “How could I forget? You were like superman last night with all that stamina...”

Your observation causes your boyfriend to frown playfully as he points to the mug sitting atop the counter.

“Not superman- Iron Man.” He insists, still holding you close, the warmth of his presence infecting you.  

With a snort, you pull back slightly to catch the glint in his eyes, “I don’t know how me comparing you to Ironman would make much sense babe but, if you want to be Iron Man then how am I to deny you?”

Jungkook smirks, already satisfied with his response before he’s even uttered it.

“I’m like Iron Man because he is a machine...” He wiggles his brows at you, “...and so am I.”

After the look of incredulity that crosses your face, you have no choice but to laugh, leaning slightly away from him to indicate that you have to head back to your breakfast before it burns.

“Alright fair enough-” You concede, still giggling a bit as his grip tightens on your body, his own beautiful smile still present on his mouth, “I gotta finish cooking, or else we’re gonna have burnt bacon for breakfast.”

He shrugs, unimpressed as he uses his inhuman strength to hug you tighter,  “Bacon is bacon.”

This prompts more laughter as he reluctantly walks to the stove with you, your body still encased in his grip.

“I can’t cook with your mega muscles constricting my arms-” You point out, craning your neck slightly to try and meet his gaze, a ghost of a smile on your lips, which is still locked onto a mixture of mischief and joy.

With a furrowed brow he leans in slowly before pecking your lips quickly and finally releasing you, “What is constricting?”

His question is asked from near the coffee pot, his hands gingerly moving his mug closer to him.

He is VERY careful with this particular mug.

“Constricting is like when you squeeze something really really tight-” You explain softly, taking the now well-done strips of bacon out of the pan before laying them on some paper towels.

He’s pouring himself a cup of coffee, his eyes narrowed in focus as he nods, “Ohhh ok- you mean like how snakes do?”

“Yeah exactly!” You smile brightly, turning towards him with encouragement on your face, “that’s why we call certain kinds of snakes constrictors because that’s how they kill their pray. Honestly, it wasn’t the best word choice on my part because, people definitely use the word squeeze more but-”

He shakes his head then, his eyes still focusing on preparing his cup of coffee, “It doesn’t matter- you taught me another new word without even trying to.” He assures you before a cocky smirk comes across his face, “I bet I know more words than Namjoon-hyung now...”

His comment makes you laugh as his competitiveness is something you adore despite the fact that you don’t fully understand it.

“Oh for sure, you probably know more words than I do honestly, with how often you practice.”  

Jungkook smiles broadens at your praise, his eyes finally flitting up towards you, “Probably.”

He laughs along with you now, the sound of your giggling sending warmth into his heart as he brings the mug to his lips.

“You’re a brat.” You point out simply, still smiling because you literally do nothing else with this kid as you begin to fry up the last batch of bacon.

Suddenly, you feel his presence behind you, his strong arms wrapping around your waist whilst his nose burrows playfully into your neck, “Noooo an angel.”

Snorting again, you pretend his lips near such a sensitive area doesn’t affect you as you continue with your current task, “An angel? What on Earth would make you think that?”

Your teasing prompts a bout of snickering to leave his lips as he hugs you tighter to him, the soft scent of his hair sending a wave of comfort through you.

“You call me a good boy all the time...”

Although his comment is meant to be innocent, the way he intentionally lowers his tone causes your thighs to press together.

“I do,” You admit, trying to keep it together as you crack a few eggs into an awaiting pan, “I don’t know if that makes you an angel though.”

Jungkook senses the change in your voice and rather then shy away from the direction the conversation is heading, he decides to go with it.  

“That’s true-” He murmurs and it’s then you can feel the smirk against the curve of your neck, “Especially since you only call me that when I’m making you cum huh?”

This causes your eyes to grow wide and given that your flirtatious boyfriend is staring at you already, there is no way for you to hide it.

So instead you play along, enjoying this new side of him more than you care to admit.

“Exactly.” You mutter, giggling to yourself as you feel a bit of heat on your cheeks, “Go set the table or something- you're going to make me burn the kitchen down.”

With a cheeky giggle, he seems satisfied with his mission to fluster you, placing a kiss to your cheek and rushing off to do as you’ve asked him to.

Breakfast passes without any more of Jungkook’s reckless behavior and you’re thankful for it because, you sincerely doubt that you’d be able to focus on your plate when you have a foul-mouthed buffet sitting across from you.

Jungkook insists on helping you clean up whilst also reminding you once again that his birthday was yesterday and that he doesn’t want any more special treatment.

All he wants is to be with you today.

You honor his request by sitting up a massive mountain of pillows and blankets in his living room and situating yourselves in front of his flat screen.

With the curtains closed and the scent of Jungkook’s sea breeze candle wafting throughout the room, the two of you begin watching a movie together.  

However, halfway through the movie, the plans begin to morph into something else entirely.

Armed with newly found confidence, your boyfriend begins kissing you, his hands making their way towards your hips.

The pace of your breathing picks up rather quickly when he suckles your bottom lip between his teeth, nibbling against the swollen flesh.

“For my birthday- next year...” He whispers into your mouth, eyes fluttering open as he nudges your nose, “I want to kiss you all day.”

His request causes you to smile, your hands slowly sliding up his neck to tuck into the hair at the back of his head, “Whatever you want.”

Your response causes his eyes to sparkle with mischief once more, delighted at how willing you are to give him whatever he wants, “Oh- it’s whatever I want hm? Just like that?”

The way he’s speaking to you makes you a little light headed and rather than try to reign back his bout of authority, you decide to run with it, “Just like that.”

Your response is spoken into his mouth, the kiss between you breaking so he can maneuver you onto your back. For a moment, he braces his hands on either side of your head, his perfect body hovering over you, with only the long strands of his hair and the thin silver chains around his neck reaching for you.  

“What if-” He grins before grinding his hips against you, the swollen bit of his boxers rubbing against your clothed core, “I wanted to be in here all day? Would you let me?”

Through the waves of pleasure, your eyes squeeze shut for a moment before you nod, your fingers beginning to wander up the outsides of his forearms.

“Whatever you want...”

His grin is stable but the pace of his breathing is quickening, indicating his excitement.

He wants more out of this conversation though and decides to press you further.  

“Would you let me put my face down there all day too? You wouldn’t have to cook for me if you did...” He points out before his grin morphs into a smirk as he leans down towards your lips, “I’d get full off your pussy wouldn’t I?”

The switch in languages also indicates his level of arousal as his mentioned before that English is far more difficult when he’s wrapped up in his emotions or in this case, his desires.  

Using your nails, you lightly tickle your way up to shoulders tugging playfully to see if he’ll come to lay down on you fully but he doesn’t budge. He merely chuckles and grinds against you once again.

“Patience...” He parrots a phrase that you often utter to him when roles are reversed in the bedroom and the glimmer in his eyes informs you that he is eating up your reaction to him.

“But I want you...” You whine to him, hoping his thing for hearing you speak his language will be enough to break his resolve but he isn’t ready to give in just yet.

“That’s too bad jagiya, I’m not finish planning my birthday just yet.” Jungkook whines mockingly in return, the innocent curls framing his face contradicting his salacious demeanor, “I want to know how many marks you’d leave on me- maybeeeeee...” He draws out the word as his teeth tuck into his bottom lip, “25? One for every year of my birthday?”

Since attempting to tug him down didn’t work out, you decide to wrap your legs around his waist to further some sort of contact between you two.  

“Twenty five? Your stylists would kill me...” You point out giggling, pushing your now damp panties against the swell of his length beneath his boxers.  

Rather cockily, Jungkook snorts and leans down once again to brush his lips over yours, “I don’t give a fuck what the noonas say, they know how to cover me up and, even if they can’t- people are just gonna have to deal with it.” Another smirk forms on his mouth before he sucks your bottom lip between his teeth, “it would be really hard for them if they fired me don’t you think?”

You gotta admit, his new found attitude is turning you on. It’s not like Jungkook to be so cocky, despite the way some people may think and although you know for a fact that he’s putting it on for you, you have no problem sucking it up anyway.  

“Definitely. BigHit would have hell to pay...” You concede, your words slightly muffled due to the current location of your bottom lip. Once more your hands tangle their way into his hair and you take advantage of this position to kiss him, hoping that will be enough to convince him to drop the teasing.  

He kisses you back with enthusiasm, his lower body relaxing slightly as more and more of him presses against you.  

“You’re wet.”  He whispers, his eyes still closed whilst he continues to peck at your bottom lip, “Are you ready for my dick now?”  

With his inquiry, he grinds against you once more, sending a shiver of pleasure up your spine.  Your surprised that he spoke the second sentence in English as he usually would have switched fully to Korean at this point.  

“Namjoon’s really been rubbing off on you lately...”  

This insignificant comment lights a fire in Jungkook’s chest and prompts him to quickly pin your wrists above your head. His features hold a bit of disapproval but, mostly they hold that competitive look that is so uniquely Jungkook.  

That “I’m going to win just to show you how good I am” kind of look.

“Why does everyone assume that Namjoon is the most perverted huh? Just cause he talks about it the most? He writes a few dirty lyrics and talks about porn and suddenly he’s the only one who wants to fuck? Jagiya- do you want to know why I look so distracted all the time?” He giggles in an almost maniacal fashion, a dark smirk prominent on his lips as he cocks his head, “It’s because I’m usually thinking about fucking you. Everyone always thinks I’m so shy- so innocent, but you’d let them know huh jagi?  You’d let them know how fucking dirty I am wouldn’t you? I don’t think ARMY could handle it if they knew the truth...” Jungkook offers that same type of laughter once again before kissing you once more, “Now answer my question- are you ready for my dick now?”

His words and behavior stun you a little bit but mostly it just sends more arousal to your core and ruins your odds of putting these pair of panties back on when the two of you are done.  

“Yes sir...” You giggle, saluting him playfully as you wrap your legs around his waist again, “I’m so ready for you- please? Can I have it?”  

Your pleas work immediately on your boyfriend, who is already struggling with his level of arousal and before you know it, he is fucking both you of you into orgasmic bliss.  

It’s over too quickly but it’s the kind of fuck that you know it going to prompt a round two.

Or maybe even a round three or four if you’re lucky...

Jungkook’s head is on your chest now, his arms hugging you tightly to his body, his post-orgasmic glow riding him of any of his previously cocky attitude.  

“I like this.” He murmurs, licking his chapped lips and nuzzling between your breasts.

You smile fondly down at him, “Cuddling?”

He shakes his head, his eyes beginning to flutter shut, “Not just cuddling- but you, being here, at my house with me.”

With a kiss to his forehead, you use your free hand to brush his hair from his eyes, “I like being here with you too.”

There is a bit of color that finds it’s way to Jungkook’s cheeks as he utters a suggestion, “You should stay here with me. I will move my stuff around for you...”

It’s such a simple notion and yet it nearly moves you to tears but before you’re able to breach the topic further, his eyes fully close as he relaxes his weight completely.  

Without clarity regarding whether or not he can hear you, you utter your response into his hair,

“Sounds good, roomie.”

[mybillyhardgrove]

He loves you, he loves you lots b.h.

A/n: if you haven’t read Mango Kisses, check it out :) this piece may be my favorite thing ive written so far and im excited for you to read it!

Disclaimer: i don’t own any Stranger Things material

Word count: 2467

Warnings: some cheeky remarks from billy and a couple curses

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Reader (female)

Summary: after being with Billy for a few months, it has become clear how he shows his love for you

Physical Touch

The touches had been deliberate at the start, meant to convey the interest you two had in each other. Flirty touches of his shoulder or arm as he talked to you in the school hallways or at random parties on the weekends. Gentle touches of your lower back as he walked past you, his chest rubbing a bit on your shoulder blades, though there was room enough for him not to need to be so close.

As your relationship developed, the touches became more frequent and less subtle. His arm draped around your shoulder or his hand in your back pocket, your legs crossed on his lap or your fingers intertwined with his. No matter what, it seemed that you were connected in some way almost all the time.

Finally, when you accepted Billy’s invitation to a date and you were officially his girl, the touching didn’t stop. Not that you minded. You found it so endearing that Billy seemed to reach for you, sitting with his knee touching yours, his hand on your back, his shoulder rubbing against yours, his hand on your thigh while he drove. It also seemed he didn’t realize he was doing it most of the time. It was an unconscious pull he had to you whenever you were near. One of your favorites was when you and Billy laid together and he played with the ends of your hair, rubbing his fingers together and smoothing the bumps away. It tended to relax you so much that you had to fight to keep your eyes open, lulled by his steady heartbeat and the warmth of his body wrapped up in yours. “That feels nice, Billy.” You felt his chest vibrate as he laughed, pulling you closer and lightly scratching your scalp as you let sleep fall over you.

It meant even more to you that Billy was so comfortable being physically affectionate with you after you learned about his childhood and the physical and verbal abuse of his father. This point was driven home when you were sitting at a diner one evening, Billy’s sneakered feet rubbing yours as you sipped your milkshake. You grabbed his hand resting on the table, softly rubbing your thumb over his knuckles and giving him a soft smile. He squeezed your hand in response, wiping his mouth and making sure he had your attention.

“I’m glad you’re my girl.” Your smile immediately widened, teeth popping out.

“I am, too, Billy.” After a beat, “What made you say that?” He grabbed your other hand across the table.

“I’m just happy to have you. It feels nice that I can reach out and I know you’ll be there. Your hugs, the way you touch me, I’ve never felt that before. Usually it’s rough and my dad or a girl wants something from me. I like that you touch me and let me touch you so much because you’re happy.” You could see he was losing his nerve, pulling his hands away and preparing to put on the devil-may-care attitude that was common when with friends.

“I love you, Billy. And I love that you feel comfortable enough to share that with me. I hope I can always make you feel that way.” He looked up, smiling a little, the tension leaving his shoulders. You didn’t want to make him feel awkward by focusing on the confession too long, so you continued. “Now eat those fries before I steal some.” He chuckled and grabbed your hand again, reaching across with a fry for you.

Once he had dropped it in your mouth, he cleared his throat. “I love you, too.” You smiled widely again, squeezing his hand a little tighter.

Words of Affirmation

You were rushing to get ready, imagining the look on Billy’s face as he sat on the couch all ready to head to the party. Your hands were shaking a bit as you dusted the rose blush on your cheekbones and nose. As Billy’s girl, you could expect as always to be the center of attention for most of the night as girls looked at you in jealousy and boys looked at you while they talked with Billy. It wasn’t that you wished you weren’t with Billy, it just got tiring to have all eyes on you both.

“Are you almost ready to head ou-” as you turned towards the sound of Billy’s voice, you watched him lower the sunglasses from his eyes, dragging his baby blues down your body and back up. You could feel your cheeks get hot as he let out a low whistle. “God damn, baby, you look like that and we may never make it to that party.” He came closer and wrapped his arm around your side, his hand fanning across your lower back and with a small pull, your body was flush to his. He leaned down to press his lips to your jaw, murmuring compliments as he spread the kisses down your neck and behind your ear. “You’re so beautiful.” Kiss. “I can’t believe you’re mine.” Kiss. “So smart and kind.” Kiss. “I am the luckiest man in Hawkins.” Kiss. “I love you so much.” After this last profession, Billy pressed a soft and meaningful kiss to your lips, lingering there as his hands came to rest on your hips, giving them a squeeze.

You tilted your head to the side into the kiss, slipping your fingers in his hair and scratching a bit at his scalp before pulling away and grabbing your purse. “I’m ready to go. Let’s get this over with.” You grabbed his hand and led him out of your room.

He followed with a lovesick look on his face. “Yes, ma’am.”

Gifts

“Bill, shift your legs a little, mine are falling asleep.” You and your boyfriend were currently watching Red Dawn, your head resting on one side of the couch as Billy’s was resting on the other, legs intertwined and a thin blanket over the both of you. Sadly for you, it wasn’t quite enough to keep goosebumps from rising on your skin. Although the day had been fairly warm and you felt good in a sundress as Billy showered you in compliments all day, you were now verging on cold. Alone in the Hargrove’s house for the evening, the cool air coming in the open window was making you shiver.

Finally too distracted by the chill, you rose from the couch and shut the window, returning to curl up against Billy. You lifted the blanket, wiggled between his legs, and rested your back against his chest with the blanket up to your chin. He shifted a little and wrapped his arms around you, putting your hands in his. “Jeez, babe, your hands are freezing.” He pulled them up to his mouth, blowing warm air into your curled fingers, rubbing his palms together in an effort to bring them back to normal. You moved your feet a bit and accidentally pressed your cold toes to his bare leg. “Your feet are like ice cubes! Why didn’t you tell me you were so cold? Scoot forward, I’ll be right back.” You did as you were told and he swung his leg over your head, retreating to his room for a minute before coming back, a mess of fabric in his hands. “Here, put these on.”

You took the lump to the bathroom and laid it out, finally determining what he had given you. A cozy pair of his sweatpants, a long-sleeved henley shirt, and a pair of thick socks. Humming, you slipped your clothes off and changed into his, surrounded by the smell of cologne and a hint of smoke. You grabbed your things, dumped them next to your purse in the living room, and crawled back under the blanket with Billy.

“Feeling better?” He rubbed his hands down your arms.

“Much. Thank you.” You turned your head, pressing a kiss to his lips before settling to watch the rest of the movie.

A while later when the movie was finished and it was time for Billy to drive you home, you explained you would return his clothes the following day. “Keep them. They look better on you anyway. My gift to you, so you don’t freeze your ass off anymore.” You giggled and grabbed your things, admiring how loving Billy was to you.

Acts of Service

It was a bit of a tradition that had developed where Billy would climb up the trellis to the roof outside your bedroom window, tapping lightly so you would let him in. You loved when he did this and never asked why. He loved that about you - you didn’t need a reason or an explanation, you were there with a smile and a kiss, ready to snuggle and whisper until the morning.

This particular night was a bit different than usual. When he began the climb to your room, he could see the window was already open, likely because it was a cool night and the breeze felt nice on your skin. Smiling as he thought about seeing you, he peeked in the window and saw something that warmed his heart. The light next to your bed was on and illuminated the pile of books and clothes around your room as you slept in the middle of your bed, a notebook still open on your lap.

Billy let out a breathy chuckle as he quietly climbed in, careful not to wake you. He shrugged off his jacket and slipped off his shoes, placing them by the window. Who knew a girl who so lovingly helped Billy clean his room when Neil rode his ass about it would be able to make such a mess herself. He knew from your recent conversations that school was kicking your ass at the moment and it seemed cleaning was taking a backseat for the time being. He looked at the soft rise and fall of your chest, your tangled hair, and the pout of your mouth for a minute before getting to work. He gathered empty water bottles and crumpled up pieces of paper, throwing them in the small garbage can under your nightstand. He collected the school books that lay in a halo around you, gently lifting your hand to grab the notebook and pen you had been writing with before nodding off. Placing those on the top of your dresser in a neat pile, he went into the hall to grab a laundry basket.

After Billy had picked up the discarded clothes on your bed and floor, as well as those in your hamper, he tiptoed to the basement to throw the load in for you. Carefully avoiding the creaky spots on the staircase, he returned to your room, pleased with himself that it once again resembled the way you liked it. He pulled the socks from your feet, knowing you hated sleeping in them. As he did so, it dawned on him that they were his socks. In fact, you were also wearing the pair of sweatpants and the henley shirt he had given you the night you were cold while you watched a movie together. That memory brought a smile to his lips. Finally, he grabbed the rolled edges of your sheets and comforter from the foot of the bed, lifting them over your legs and up to your chest. This caused you to shift, taking a deep breath before rolling over, giving him enough room to slide in next to you. He did just that, humming a bit as he wrapped you in his arms, drifting quickly to sleep to the sound of your soft breaths and the warmth of your bed.

Quality Time

“Really, Billy, I don’t mind. I’ll just stay home and see you later.” You were currently on the phone with your boyfriend, trying to convince him to go to the party alone that you were going to go to together. It had been your plan all week to go to this party together and you even had an outfit laid out for the occasion. Unfortunately, you had woken up with a sore throat and a completely stuffed nose. After a few hours of blowing your nose, taking Vitamin C, and praying this would go away, you were resigned to call Billy and tell him he’d have to go without you.

“I am not going unless you’re there and I can tell from your voice that you’re really sick. Lay down and get cozy, I’ll be over in a little.” You sighed, disappointed that you were altering the plans for the evening.

“I’ll be fine. I feel bad that-” Before finishing that you felt bad for throwing a wrench in the evening, you were interrupted.

“I am not going to that stupid party, baby. I couldn’t care less. Trust me. Now get under the covers. I’m coming over. Is the door unlocked?” You answered in the affirmative and with one more order to get under covers, he hung up. You shuffled your feet across the carpet, burrowing under the large throw blanket, tissue box close by.

For a while, there was silence (apart from the sneezing and the pounding in your head from an annoying little headache that had formed since your call with Billy). You were somewhere between sleep and wakefulness, praying that this would end and missing the time you could breathe out of your nose. As you lay staring at the ceiling, you heard a familiar rumble in the distance get closer until it finally stopped in front of your house.

A few steps up to the front door and the creak as it opened and shut brought your boyfriend into view. “Shit, baby,” and with that, he kneeled next to the couch, running his fingers through your hair, wincing a bit as they ran over your forehead. He put his cheek there to confirm before saying, “I think you have a bit of a fever, too. You got it rough. But don’t worry, I brought all the things to make you feel better and I won’t leave your side until you’re good again.” He reached behind him, dragging a plastic bag full of medicine, chocolate, more tissues, and even a couple movies. You knew you were in for a troubling evening as you fought against the fever, headache, and sore throat. But with Billy by your side, it would all be okay.

By the next morning, after a night of movies, talking, snuggling, and even Billy spoon-feeding you soup, you felt almost your old self again. You were so grateful for your wonderful and caring boyfriend who showed his love all different ways. You made sure to tell him a million times, though he already knew.

masterlist

[five-rivers]

Danger First

Chapter 10

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@pocketramblr :)

.

One day - and not even a whole day, because of travel time and Inko wanted Izuku home for dinner- simply wasn't enough time to master a quirk. Although he could turn Float on and off, now. So, they made plans to come back next week, and the next, up until the sports festival. Which. Wow. Really was only two weeks away.

Izuku had never realized how close to the beginning of the school year it was.

He was going to die.

"You're not going to die," said Mr. Yagi. "I'm not going to say the sports festival isn't important, because it is, it's one of the best ways to make professional connections for students, but not doing well isn't the end of the world, especially not in your first year. No one expects you to be perfectly polished."

"But," said Izuku, "I'm supposed to be the next you! I've got to stand out, right?"

Mr. Yagi looked very guilty. "I... may have given you that impression when we were first training, yes. But, since then, with all my research into the past holders... few of them were popular, flashy heroes. If you want to walk the same path as me, that's great. But you don't have to. Even I didn't really start that chapter of my life until after college."

Izuku looked down at his hands, letting silence fill the space between them as he contemplated Mr. Yagi's words. "This isn't about me manifesting One for All differently, is it?"

"What? No, no of course not, my boy. I mean, it certainly helped me come to this conclusion, I wouldn't have done so much research without it! But I certainly hope I would have come to the same conclusion eventually, even so."

"Okay..." said Izuku, still dubious.

"I mean it," protested Mr. Yagi. "Most of my work is essentially underground, you know. There's a reason the battle trial was what it was."

"H-huh? You? Underground? But you're so recognizable!"

"Am I? I firmly believe in bringing all my resources to bear in the fight against evil! Ha ha!"

His laugh devolved into a cough, and he fumbled for a handkerchief. But he recovered quickly enough.

"I guess that makes sense," said Izuku, cautiously, once he thought Mr. Yagi wasn't going to start coughing again.

"You didn't think I stayed number one by popularity alone, did you?"

"I- the formulas the Hero Commission uses to determine rankings are secret, and it only includes spotlight heroes, so when I extrapolated the hero billboard rankings, yes, I assigned a high weight to popularity. There were always some discrepancies between my predictions and the end results, but I figured I missed some events, or the commission assigned them different values…"

"That's quite impressive, my boy. But, though popularity is a factor, the HPSC does take unpublicized fights and rescues into account. Assuming you report them…"

That was the second time Mr. Yagi had mentioned not telling the commission something.

"Do you, um, do you do that a lot? Not tell the commission things, I mean."

"Eh? No, no, I try to stay up on my paperwork. I get a lot of help from Naomasa, though. Some heroes, especially independent ones, without an agency, do have trouble keeping up, sometimes."

"It's just… the other day you said something about not telling the commission about All for One."

"Ah," said Mr. Yagi. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. "You're quite right. How should I put this… The HPSC knows All for One exists, and I have made them generally aware of his modern exploits. I haven't told them about his ability to give quirks, though they may know through other avenues, there are certain battles I've had with him that I haven't told them about, and they do not know about One for All."

“Why not?”

“Villains aren’t the only ones who seek power,” said Mr. Yagi. “The HPSC provides a vital service, and I think what one does matters more than why one does it, but… it is my observation that many of the people there are more concerned with personal power than doing the right thing. And positions of power and authority tend to draw in those who would abuse those things."

"Even heroics?"

"Especially heroics. The HPSC Ethics Review Board is supposed to stop that, but no system is perfect." He shook himself. "But look at me! I was trying to give you a pep talk, not saddle you with doubts about the government!"

Izuku laughed, nervously. "I mean, you've definitely distracted me from the sports festival…"

“Yes. The sports festival. Don’t worry about making a big spotlight combat debut. If you want to focus on rescue, or investigation, or the underground, I’ll support you all the way.” He paused. “You do need combat, though, because, because of-”

“All for One?”

“Yes, exactly. All for One.”

.

“Way to kill the mood, guys,” said Banjo.

“I think the mood was thoroughly dead already,” said Yoichi.

“Unlike your brother,” said En. “Ninth’s father.”

“Come on, it was just a little omission of information. It wasn’t even a lie!”

“It was definitely a lie. You’re so lucky that my relief about you not being a pedophile eclipsed my righteous fury regarding your mendacity.”

“You know, the fact that you’re delivering that completely deadpan gives me doubts about the fury part.”

“I’m mad at you.”

“You love me.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t be mad at you.”

“Hey, hey, wait a minute,” said Nana, making a ‘T’ shape with her hands. “Time out. Ninth’s father is All for One.”

“Yes,” said Yoichi, hanging his head, “I thought that had been established.”

“So, are we… What Toshinori is saying is completely valid, by the way… but, are we expecting this kid to fight his father? Is that a thing we’re doing?”

“Uh,” said Yoichi, “in our defense, we did think he was dead.”

“Maybe Eighth will get ‘im before Ninth has to deal with it,” suggested Banjo. “He’s got to have a better chance of that, now what with Fa Jin and all.” He paused. “But, you know what would give Ninth an even better chance, if he does have to fight his deadbeat dad-”

“He’s not a deadbeat,” interrupted Hikage.

“What?”

“Calling him a deadbeat would imply that he is neither supporting the Midoriyas financially nor regularly in contact with them. He is on both counts.”

“What?” squealed Bango.

“Did you miss his phone call with his father immediately following his return home after the USJ attack?”

“Oh,” said Yoichi, “no, I was very aware of my brother’s evil, evil voice. It’s just that these guys were too focused on scolding me to listen to anything I had to say. I still can’t believe he sent someone like that to attack his own son’s class.”

“Didn’t he, like, kill you?” asked En.

“No, my death was largely unrelated. You’ve got to remember, I was a chronically ill fugitive from the law with no money. Who told you that he killed me?”

Everyone looked at their immediate predecessor. Yoichi tracked the path back to Third, who had gone very stiff.

“What the heck, Third? You were there when I died. Why would you tell Hikage that?”

Third did not answer.

“Actually, what did he tell you, Hikage?

“Oh, it was very moving and heroic. It happened while you were saving a busload of metahuman orphans. You sacrificed yourself to let them get away from All for One. I even cried a little.”

“Is it weird that I’m now disappointed in myself for not dying like that?”

“Very,” said Nana.

“What were we talking about before this?” asked En.

“I have no idea,” said Banjo.

.

Izuku delayed going to class, nervous about everyone's reactions to his quirk. It wasn't that he thought they'd reject him, but more that he had no answers for the inevitable questions.

But he also didn't want to be late.

"Todoroki was so cool!" Hagakure exclaimed as he opened the classroom door. "He was all like, blam, bam, swish! And- and he checked whether or not I was there first, before attacking, which was super cool of him."

Todoroki's expression was halfway between 'statue' and 'help, I've been hit by a truck.' "Cool?"

"Very cool."

"You've grown since the first day, kero."

"Ah! Midoriya!"

All heads turned towards him. In the next second, he was hugged by several people, which was more friendly skin contact than he'd had since… ever, probably.

"Eep," he said.

"We were so worried about you," said Uraraka. "We made a group chat, after, but since you were unconscious…"

"Hm," said Monoma, "your quirk still is definitely a stockpile…"

"Monoma!" shouted Iida. "Did you join this hug just to copy quirks?"

"And what of it?"

"But speaking of quirks," said Jiro, "you can fly now? We kind of went along with it at the time, but that's kind of different from a sensory quirk."

"I know," said Izuku, "and I have no explanation."

"Maybe your quirk stockpiles danger," said Monoma, contemplatively. He rubbed his chin with one finger. "That could be why you can sense danger- you're stockpiling it. Then, when the danger gets over a certain threshold, you can release it as flight… why are you all looking at me like that?"

"Oh, nothing," drawled Kaminari. "Just that you're more thoughtful than you look, pretty boy."

"I don't want to hear that from you."

"Th-thank you, Monoma! I'll have to mention it when I go to quirk counseling next."

Which may or may not be this afternoon, depending on how Mr. Aizawa felt and- His head snapped to the door. "Mr. Aizawa's coming!"

They all rushed to their seats. The door creaked open.

"Oh my gosh, he's a mummy."

.

"Iida?"

"What is it, Midoriya?"

They were having a bit of a break during English while Present Mic cycled them through for short sessions with Hound Dog.

"I didn't have a chance to ask you earlier, but how's your brother?"

“He’s alright! It’s the first really major injury of his career, so he’s going to take it easy for the rest of the month, to make sure his engines heal properly. He’d prefer not to of course, but, ah, there is a silver lining.”

“That’s good,” said Izuku, encouragingly.

“I really shouldn’t be happy about it,” said Iida, rubbing the back of his neck, “but he’ll be able to come see me during the sports festival, and he probably would have been too busy if he were active.”

“I think it’s okay to be happy about good things, even if they happen because of bad things,” said Izuku. “It isn’t like we can go back and make the bad things not happen, after all…”

“That’s very true, Midoriya! What a mature way of thinking about things.”

Izuku didn’t know about that, but he was willing to take the compliment.

.

“Midoriya,” said Shouta, who was absolutely and unquestionably recovered enough to teach. Even if he had zoned out in the corner of the room in his sleeping bag all morning rather than trekking back to the teacher’s lounge… or teaching any of his other classes… shut up. “What are you doing at the window?”

“O-oh. Mr. Aizawa. I didn’t know you were awake?”

It was, maybe, a little unfair to single Midoriya out like that, since the entire class was standing by the window, and the way Uraraka, Sero, and Midoriya were closest to it, with Monoma a close fourth, was concerning, but Midoriya was the first one Shouta saw, and the one most likely to to cave and tell him what was going on.

“Midoriya.”

“R-right. Well, going out the door seems a little unpleasant today, so we thought we’d switch it up?”

What did that even mean?

“We were going to bring you with us, of course,” continued Midoriya.

What did that even mean?

“Out the window.”

“Um. Yes.”

“What kind of unpleasant are we talking about?”

“Battle trial unpleasant?”

Shouta groaned and hauled himself up, walking over to the door. He looked out the window and made note of all the students from other classes standing out there, circling like sharks. Great. Maybe they needed to have an assembly about respecting boundaries or whatever, especially if the people whose boundaries were being crossed were potentially traumatized.

Something to bring up at the next staff meeting he attended. Which… would probably not be soon.

Anyway.

He opened the door.

(“A mummy,” whispered someone.)

(First his kids, then these kids… he wasn’t that wrapped up.)

(Was he?)

“What are you all doing here?” he asked, voice rasping rather more than he wanted it to.

The students didn’t seem inclined to answer. Someone did mutter something about the sports festival, but it was far from the complete answer that Aizawa wanted.

“Right. Whatever. Scoping out the competition is one thing, but you are aware that class 1-A is recovering from a traumatic experience. And you’re blocking traffic. Clear off.”

The crowd slowly dispersed. Shouta sighed. He knew this would only be the first of many such incidents. He made a note to talk to Nemuri about whether or not she’d be willing to donate some of her class time to talk about public relations.

.

“You know,” said Nemuri, “if you actually rested, Recovery Girl would be able to heal you.”

“I know nothing of the sort,” said Shouta, glaring at his desk in the staff room. “I’m forgetting something.”

All Might walked in. “Er, young Aizawa,” he said. He paused for a painfully long, awkward moment. “Are you still meeting with young Midoriya today?”

“Crap.”

.

Did Izuku expect Mr. Aizawa to come to their meeting? No. The man had casts on all of his limbs. But, he hadn’t cancelled it either. So, better safe than sorry, right?

But it had been a while, now. Izuku could probably safely assume he wasn't coming after a half hour. He got up, packed his bags, and reached out for the door handle-

Only to freeze as Mr. Aizawa yanked it open and pulled Mr. Yagi into the classroom after him.

Izuku scurried back to his seat.

"Nothing physical today," croaked Mr. Aizawa. "We're going to figure out your quirk."

“O-okay,” said Izuku.

Aizawa collapsed into the seat behind the teacher's desk. “To be short, this quirk, One for All or whatever, is complete nonsense.”

“Uh,” said Mr. Yagi. “Sorry?”

“Sorry,” whispered Izuku.

“You should be. Not you, Midoriya. You’re fine.”

“Okay?”

“Right. So. You’ve got two quirks right now. Danger Sense and Float. Unless something else showed up over the weekend?”

“No, it’s, um, it is just those two right now.”

“And you’ll most likely get Smokescreen, Blackwhip, and that strength enhancement eventually. Plus two mystery quirks.”

“That is what I’ve been able to find out,” said Mr. Yagi.

“So, we have to figure out some way to get all those under a coherent umbrella that can account for the mystery quirks, and before the sports festival, so the evil immortal supervillain doesn’t notice that you have quirks just like a bunch of people he had personal beef with.”

Mr. Yagi cursed in English. “I hadn’t thought about that.”

“Yeah, I wonder what else you haven’t thought about. Maybe this year I can get Nezu to take my suggestion about doing hero names before the sports festival seriously. You know we’ve had people stalk students before because for some godforsaken reason we use their real names? I need a drink.”

“Ah, water?”

“No.”

“Young Aizawa, you’re a teacher…”

“A career choice I question daily. Midoriya, do you have any thoughts about how to make your quirk make sense in a way that won’t get you killed or abducted by the HPSC?”

“I- Does that happen?” despite his conversation with Mr. Yagi over the weekend, he still had generally positive thoughts about the hero commission.

“I have no idea. Wouldn’t put it past them.”

“Well, um, I was talking to Monoma earlier, and he said something about stockpiling danger, and how it might let out the stockpile as the energy necessary to levitate- which, really, would be a fascinating quirk if it did work that way- but I thought it might also work for Smokescreen and the strength enhancement? I mean, general responses to danger are fight, flight, or hide, so the strength enhancement is fight, Float is flight, and Smokescreen would be hide…”

“That might work. What about Blackwhip.”

“Yeah, that one has kind of stumped me.”

“Blackwhip sure is a problem,” agreed Mr. Aizawa.

.

The ghosts started laughing. “You’re a problem, Banjo,” chortled Nana.

“Come on, guys, that isn’t funny!”

"It is! It's hilarious!"

"They were just talking about All for One tracking the kid down and killing him!"

The mood sobered quickly.

"Considering that he is Ninth's father," said Hikage, "I suspect it's far too late for that."

"Yeah," said Yoichi. "But, just to be safe, and in case there are other weirdos out there, new rule: no giving him new quirks in public. Not that we can do anything about when he eventually manifests the stockpile…"

"What if he's going to die?" asked Hikage, raising his hand.

"He already got your quirk, why do you care?"

"We'd like to hear it," said Banjo, somewhat forcefully.

"Well, if he looks like he's going to die, do whatever you can to stop that from happening, I guess. But chucking a quirk he doesn't know how to use isn't always going to be the beat answer."

"Wait," said Nana. "Hold up a second. A few days ago we were talking about the potential for multiple quirk brain damage, weren't we?"

"Oh, good catch," said Yoichi. "I guess I forgot to mention it, which means Nana is the only one I'd trust babysitting my nephew in the event a quirk rewound him to elementary school age-"

"That is a suspiciously specific scenario," said En.

"-and all the rest of you are fired. You didn't even question giving him more quirks? Really?"

Hikage raised his hand. "I assumed you had discovered that Ninth had a constitution capable of handling multiple quirks, similar to yourself and your brother."

"That is true. Okay, Hikage would be another exception, but he's disqualified from babysitting for other reasons."

"That's fair."

.

"So we need something that can do all that, and has tentacles," said Izuku, squeezing his bottom lip in thought.

"Yeah," said Mr. Aizawa. "Honestly, even really dumb ideas would be welcome right now."

"Why are you looking at me?" asked Mr. Yagi.

"You know why."

There was only one creature Izuku could think of that could do all the things Izuku one day might be able to while maintaining room for the two mystery quirks. "Cthulhu."

Mr. Yagi looked mildly scandalized at the suggestion.

"Nah, it'd have to be something like eldritch. Cthulhu's trademarked in Japan, and that can give you aboveground types trouble."

"What is it a trademark for?" asked Mr. Yagi.

"Ask Midnight. I don't want to talk about it."

"Ah," said Mr. Yagi.

"The problem with that is that you currently have no justification to call it that. Now if you already had Smokescreen…"

The adults looked at him.

"... I don't think it's going to just show up like that," said Izuku.

.

"Why not?" asked Banjo, staring at En. "They practically asked you for it."

"Well, first off, I live for drama, so jot that down."

"Huh? What about me?" asked Yoichi.

"Nothing, it was just an idiom. Second…"

.

"...Right," said Aizawa. “For now, then, we’ll have to give it a temporary name, because it’s starting to get to the point in time where it’ll actually be illegal for you to not register it.” He shuffled his casts. “Yagi, start filling out those forms with what he can do currently. Midoriya, make sure you check him when he’s done. For now, we’ve got to come up with a name.”

“Um,” said Izuku. “Float’s the only one that’s really visible, so I could just call it Float?”

“Vetoed. You aren’t picking a name that the immortal supervillain knows.”

“He did seem to only refer to people by quirks unless he really hated them,” said Mr. Yagi. “Except his brother, who he always called ‘my foolish brother.’”

“Focus on the paperwork.”

“And he called himself by his quirk name as well,” mused Izuku. “Do you think it was a side effect? Quirks have document impact on people’s personalities-”

“Focus.”

“R-right. Um. Feather Fall? No, that’s part of a game. Flight Reflex?”

“Good enough for now,” said Aizawa. “Flight Reflex it is.”

[volleychumps]

bro im am: in love with literally everything you put out and i've had this probably really specific, self-indulgent request and am highkey scared it'll flop because not much can relate but it's been living in my mind rent free: remember that one episode where hinata talks to a classmate, saying how it'd be cool to have a band cheer for the vball team?? Well, it gave me an idea, so how about boys of your choice with a musically adept s/o?? she's part of the school band which frequently performs in tournament matches to cheer. her talent made her pretty well-known, though fame can attract both good and bad people—what happens when a guy from the opposing team gets a little too friendly? headcanons or scenarios is also up to you, and feel free to make s/o a crush instead (they aren't dating yet) if that makes the writing process more flexible! thank you so much, and have a lovely day/night!

 VolleyBoys with a Crush on Singer S/O

~ when you come and perform at one of their games in order to give school spirit, you’re approached by someone from another team because of your talent, leaving some less than happy boys

format: scenarios

genre: fluff

- includes: Suna, Semi, and Matsukawa 

Warning(s): slight cursing, possessive volleyboys 

Playing with some characters I’ve never really wrote for before, let me know how I do! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Suna (main vocals)

“You’re staring.” 

“Go give your attention to someone who cares.” Suna’s lazy tone was a bit more snipped than usual as the cheers from the crowd finally died down, irritation evident in his tone as Atsumu smirks. The dark-haired blocker could pretend to be as uncaring as he wanted, but his tone gave him away. 

“Mad Y/N’s getting all the attention?” 

“Nah, he’s pissed because he can’t hog her all to himself anymore.” 

Suna rolled his eyes, Osamu merely shrugging alongside his brother as the three towel off in the middle of a break point for Inarizaki’s school band to make their performance. He hated that he loved seeing you up there, a light sheen of sweat on your forehead from the performance, your hair tied back with a wide smile on your face- 

he hated seeing everyone see you. 

“Yeah, so how’s that going for you? How are you two not dating yet-” 

“Kita-san, I think Atsumu and Osamu have questions about the play.” Suna cupped his mouth as the twins stiffen.  The dark haired spiker waved mockingly goodbye as his teammates were snatched by the collars, focusing his attention to what he had orginally been quietly watching. He tilted his head as you struggled to open the top of your water bottle, peering at it with a pout before he scoffs, beginning to walk- 

“Need help, sweetheart?” 

Suna stopped. 

You blinked, eyes widening as Kuroo Tetsurou easily twisted the cap off, handing it back to you with a naturally sly grin. He reaches a hand to the back of his neck as you smile in thanks, tilting the water back. 

“So the kitty can sing?” 

“Kitty?!” You choked on your water, noting his school colors before flushing. Why on earth was the Nekoma team captain flirting with the lead singer of the school band for Inarizaki? 

“I’m guessing you liked that.” Kuroo chuckles, patting your back in a more-than-friendly manner as you continue to cough, and your bandmates whistle, pretending not to notice the attractive captain’s advances. 

“Untrue. Don’t you have a game to play or something?” There’s no malicious intent behind your words, so Kuroo’s grin turns into a soft smirk as he begins to lean a little closer- 

“Gross. You’re all sweaty.” 

A towel is pressed to your face, Suna unfazed as you complain against the material. You feel the back of your head touch his chest as Suna pulls you into him with the towel pressed on your face, sharp eyes narrowing ever so slightly as Kuroo’s feral ones remain amused. 

“Looks like this kitten is domesticated.” 

You break free for a second, popping out of the towel successfully. “I’m not a kitten!” 

“Sure, kitten.” Kuroo winks at you again, beginning to walk off before sparing a glance to Suna, nodding once in amusement. You remain distracted, spinning on your heel to face your friend in embarrassment and confusion. 

“Why would you-?!” 

“Hey.” Suna tilts his head, dull eyes staring into yours as you find it a little harder to swallow. 

“What?” 

He bends down to your height, flicking the tip of your nose as you begin to protest- 

“Good performance. Come meet me after I rock this cat’s ass in this match, yeah?” His palm is warm on top of your head as you find yourself nodding stupidly as he brushes past you to a smiley Atsumu, sharp eyes searching for Kuroo Tetsurou. 

“So how’s it going?” 

“Go to hell, Atsumu.” 

“Is he blushing, Osamu?” 

“Yep.” 

Semi (Guitarist)

“Out of your league.”

“I literally haven’t said anything.” Semi shoots back at the redhead, and Tendou grins as he also watches your jogging-away figure as you head back for the stage. A scarlet bandana was now tied around your wrist, Semi’s eyes darting everywhere as Tendou’s grin turns sinister. 

“Oh? Y/N-chan, will you wear my bandana so I can brand you? I’m begging-!” 

“Do you want to punch him or should I?” Semi snips, and Goshiki slowly stops Shirabu from raising his hand as Ushijima props one eye open at the situation from his concentration. 

“Why’d you give it to her then?” Taichi asks, genuinely interested as you bop your head to the final song atop the stage, fingering the strings of your guitar with a small smile at your new goodluck charm. 

“Are you kidding me? Those two are always joined at the hip, I knew one of them was in love with the other.” Shibraru doesn’t miss a beat as Ojiro chuckles, having noticed that as well. Semi scoffs over the music, as if that were the craziest thing in the world. 

“Y/N L/N? As if.” 

“Have fun convincing yourself.” Ushijima closes his eyes again just as the song ends, and Semi’s cheeks begin to flare up as he grabs his hair in frustration, an annoying pounding in his chest. 

“Well, don’t take too long now.” Tendou sings, looking at an entertaining sight. “If you don’t want Y/N, do you think the pretty boy from Fukurodani wants her?” 

Semi stalls, thinking Tendou was playing another one of his mind games before looking as well, mouth drying at the sight. 

Akaashi Keiji had offered you a hand as you propped your guitar, making your way off the stage easier as you had seemed worried about getting down before. 

The setter’s throat tightened as you accepted, a smile tickling your cheeks as Akaashi helps you off the stage in a gentlemanly manner. You stumble slightly, giggling as Akaashi fondly steadies you by the waist, complimenting you on your performance. 

“I could never do that, L/N-san. You’re very talented.” 

“It’s really nothing...” 

Semi felt it then. Too used to watching from so far away, yet always close enough to keep you in view. 

But you stood close to him. Mere minutes before, excited gleam in your eye as he tied the bandana around your wrist, and you had locked eyes with him. It was only for a few moments, calloused fingers almost inching towards his- 

“Y/N. I give you this crap and you don’t even use it?” Semi was annoyed, dark eyes flaring as he bounds over to the two of you as you blink in confusion, his teammates watching the spectacle with slight interest. You flush as Semi’s eyes harden in the direction of Akaashi, who’s head tilts slightly. 

“What-?” 

“Shut it. I’ll do it if you won’t, why’d you even ask?” Semi clicks his tongue as he unties the bandana, pooling your hair into a makeshift knot before barely glancing at the blue-eyed setter, focusing his attention on your hair as he stakes his claim. 

“Something you needed with our band captain?” 

“Nope. Just glad to have been of some aid. Then...” He nodded to you, but Semi could see the slight disappointment in his eyes underneath the cool atmosphere Akaashi held up as he walked onto the opposite side of the court. 

“...Sorry Semi.” 

“For what?” Semi questioned, feeling the embarassment beginning to creep up on him, heat tickling his cheeks as he watches you shuffle a bit from the proximity. He felt you shiver once his fingers accidentally grazed the back of his neck, causing Semi’s voice to get caught in his throat. 

“Not using your bandana correctly...” You mumbled, the tips of your ears turning pink as Semi watches in bewilderment. A lilt tickled the edge of his lips as he finished tying the scarlet material, leaning down from behind you so his forehead touched your shoulder as if he were exhausted. You tensed up before relaxing, enjoying his touch. 

“Don’t worry about it.” 

Matsukawa (drummer) 

“How far do you think I can go to piss off your little fanboys?”

“Why are you even over here?” 

“Moral support, princess.” Matsukawa grinned into his water bottle as you half-heartedly help him wipe the sweat gathered at his neck, your friend flicking off Hanamaki and Oikawa in the distance as they make romantic gestures with their hands as they go unnoticed by you. 

“You look like you’re dead tired and it’s only halfway through the game.” You note, handing him back the towel as Matsukawa grins, leaning a little closer to you from his spot next to you on the edge of the stage. 

“Careful, you might make me think you care about me.”

“Of course I do.” You don’t miss a beat, already distracted with slipping your drumsticks out of your pocket. Matsukawa’s jaw slackens a little as you get up, nudging him with your foot to get off before shooting him an easy smile. 

“We’re friends, aren’t we? Even though you’re kind of an asshole.” 

The brunette recovers quickly, Matsukawa smirking as he slips off the stage as you settle back into your drumset. 

“You love me, princess.” 

“Yeah yeah, go swat a volleyball around.” Your tone is teasing as your bandmates begin to fall back into place, and Matsukawa mockingly salutes you before walking back to his team, ignoring the involuntary replaying of your words in his head. 

Of course I do.

He was oddly quiet as Hanamaki teased him, watching as your band fell into a beautiful rhythm led by your hands. Agitation grew in his stomach as it mixed with his stupid crush on you, wanting nothing more than to let all your little fans to become severely disappointed because of him. 

Matsukawa Issei was a very possessive man, but it was an underlying kind of possessive. The kind of posessive where he silently protected you from those who were attracted by your talent and style, or the kindness in your smile or witty comebacks- 

“Uh, Matsukawa?” 

“I don’t give a fuck if you think you’re going to be the best man at mine and Y/N’s nonexistent wedding-” 

“No.” Hanamaki grinned, jutting his head in your direction. Matsukawa didn’t even realize the song had ended, watching as Atsumu Miya had picked up your hand, bringing it up to his lips flirtatiously as you stared wide-eyed as if you had busted a fuse. 

“Yep. My bad, there will be no wedding.” Hanamaki clasps his shoulder, not realizing the impact of his teasing words. “Because Atsumu Miya’s gonna get her first if you don’t step up your game, bro.” 

But Matsukawa didn’t reply with some witty comeback, still watching as Atsumu brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. He didn’t like it. The embarrassed look on your face, the awkward smile on your lips, the laugh in your throat- all caused by someone who wasn’t him. 

“How about ya show me how to play those drums sometimes?” Atsumu had taken a step closer, and your fists had clenched as you felt yourself at a loss for words. You had opened your mouth to reply, but all that slipped out was a yelp.

Matsukawa easily threw you over his shoulder, grinning relaxedly at Atsumu who’s flirtatious grin had digressed back to a flat line. You knocked on Matsukawa’s back with embarrassment in your stomach, but the brunette made no move to put you down. 

“Sorry, I’m her agent. She’s gotta go meet with her fans.” 

“Issei!” 

He ignored your chants to put you down as Oikawa and Hanamaki slowly clap as he brushes past them and out the gym doors, a pounding in his ears. 

“Why are you doing this?” You question, now in an empty hallway as you hear Matsukawa scoff, still not answering your question as he continues to walk with you slung over his shoulder. 

“Issei.” 

“I told you I wanted to piss of your fanboys, didn’t I?” 

“Tell me the truth!” You raised your voice just as he put you down, and Matsukawa looks at you for a second, your back hitting the wall as he towers over you. 

“What?” Your voice was smaller now, feeling like you’ve shrunk under your friend’s serious gaze that was usually anything but. Matsukawa’s hand touches the area above your head, leaning into you so your noses are barely brushing. 

“Tell me, princess. Do you still want the truth even if it ruins our friendship?” 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

General works: @takemetovalhalla @kasandrafaye @savemesteeb @dreebbles @yams046 @let-me-have-my-own-name @deadontheinsidebut @lifeisntjustblackandwhite @curiouslilbeast @aprettyfruit @wisepandaslimeland @h0ngh0ngh0ng @lmkjimin @orangegiraffe7 @dai-tsukki-desu @kac-chowsballs @spikertrash @yamaguwuchi @lord-suneater-explosion @nekomawhore @holaaaf@babyybokutoakaashi @lexysclubhouse

[infernal-fire]

Long Forgotten

I am choosing to not use warnings. Do not read if you are uncomfortable with themes of infidelity, angst, swearing and sexual innuendos. 

Summary: Your Steve isn’t yours anymore and you’re beginning to understand why. 

Word Count: 3.5k

Pairings: Steve x reader and a surprise appearance ;)

Disclaimer: this is set right after Endgame

A/N: this story was inspired by @nsfwsebbie’s fic please don’t take him (even though you can). it was so damn amazing. i thought of how the situation would go under different circumstances, and added a more strong willed reader into the mix  :)

i tried to proofread but im sort of posting in a rush so all mistakes are my own!

(This GIF does not belong to me)

Your head was nestled in the crook of Steve’s neck and his arms were cradling your tired form. Dried tears left your face feeling dry and your up do from the funeral was now tousled. Steve let out a heavy sigh and held you a little tighter. 

You could fall asleep if it weren’t for the looming stress of returning the stones so you decided to bide your time by focusing on the super soldier’s unnaturally slow heartbeat. 

“We should go, sweetheart. They’re waiting for me.” his voice broke the placid silence that had enveloped the room. 

You silently got off the bed and Steve’s hand nudged yours, stopping you from reaching the door. 

He slowly pulled you towards him and you met him halfway, face-to-face.

“I know things aren’t great right now. But we’ll get through this,” he spoke lowly as his large hands cupped your face. They felt rough against your supple skin, but his touch was as tender as ever.

You stared into his eyes for a moment before speaking. "I’ll come with you,” you offered.

“No,” he affirmed. His tone was firm yet a touch of softness was reserved in there somewhere, just for you.

“I love you Y/N. I’ll love you no matter what,” he said as he pulled your head into his chest and engulfed your body into his. 

//

You reached the new, mini version of the previously destroyed time travel contraption Tony made. Sam, Bucky and Professor Hulk were engaging in light conversation that clearly, none of them were interested in. You look up at Steve, who was as tense as ever, clutching your hand like a vice. He let go and glanced back at you before joining Sam. 

You knew deep down that Steve would never be the same anymore. Hell, after the Battle of Wakanda, Steve almost ended the relationship because the Avengers lost.

But the Avengers won this time, and things should feel different. So why did it feel like he was leaving forever? 

You recalled the very short conversation you had with him about Tony’s snap.

 “I should have snapped,” he sobbed. 

“You’ve always been selfless your whole life. This was Tony’s time to be selfless, and you don’t get to take that away from him.” You hugged him and cried with him. 

There was nothing else to be said.

How much you wished no one had to die. 

He stood on the platform and nodded at Bruce before locking eyes with you.

Apologetic. He looked apologetic. 

At the time, you thought he just looked sad. You assumed it was residual sadness from the funeral but looking back, you realized he looked apologetic for what he was about to do. 

Rebuilding your relationship wasn’t easy. Tony and Nat’s death and the trauma of the battle were overshadowing both of your feelings. You salvaged what you could and life returned to a “normal” that never existed. 

Being an Avenger means your living costs are covered by Tony, basically compensating for the missions. Only there weren’t any missions anymore. You were grateful but it meant that you had a lot of time on your hands. 

You took up a job as a waitress and Steve continued running sessions at the VA with Sam. It was humbling to be serving people at a diner after fighting alongside some of Earth’s mightiest heroes. But you needed it. And slowly but steadily, happiness crept its way into the tower. 

You didn’t see Steve around anymore though. You weren’t sure if you were even together anymore, aside from the forehead kisses and lingering glances.

You and Bucky set the table while you heard Sam and Steve banter over who gets to choose the movie today. Bucky chuckled and called them to eat.

There was relentless teasing, jokes being tossed around and big smiles everywhere.

“The nurse had poked him 2 times at this point and there was no blood coming out of him.” Sam laughed. 

“So she asks me if we can do the other arm.” Bucky snorted through breaths of amusement. 

“This guy pulls up his sleeve and the girl faints.” Sam howled as everyone doubled over in laughter. 

You wiped a tear from your eye and you look over at Steve who was laughing as well. It had been a long time since you’ve seen him so happy. 

Sure, he’d been distant. He hadn’t touched you since he came back. It had been 2 months though, and you wondered if you should try again tonight. You put a hand over Steve’s and he snapped his head to you. He gave you a small smile before slipping his hand out from under yours and picking up a napkin.

He needed the napkin, you told yourself. 

You went up to change into something that he might find more appealing. You were torn between the red lace set or the black corset. You settled for the classic red lace and tied on a robe before heading downstairs to tease him a little. 

“You’re going to tell her before you go right?” You heard Sam’s voice and broke your stride to the kitchen. 

“She won’t be happy.” You swore it was Steve’s voice but it was a little too quiet to be sure. You silently padded toward the kitchen, standing right outside the entrance to hear better.

“Of course she won’t be happy. You went back to be with a girl from 70 years ago and spent 4 months with her. You sort of cheated on her Steve.” Bucky’s voice quipped at Steve. 

You couldn’t be hearing right. Steve went back and got together with Peggy?

“It’s not sort of cheating, he almost got married to her,” Sam remarked in rebuttal. 

He almost got married to her. 

He almost got married to her. 

He almost got married to her.

There was so much information to process. Your shoulder sagged with the weight of the news and you cupped your mouth before anyone could hear your sob. 

“But I came back.” Steve countered. 

“Do you love her?” Bucky lowered his voice and inquired. 

“I don’t know anymore.” 

Your chest heaved and eyes burned. You wanted to gasp for air but you knew if you breathed, you would let out the anguish building in your stomach. 

Your back hit the wall and you slid down, not caring if he hears anymore. 

In moments, Steve, Bucky and Sam appear beside you with startled faces. 

You didn’t look at them as you got up and paced to your room. You thought you heard Steve’s voice calling after you but your thoughts pounded and clawed at the insides of your head. You couldn’t be sure and you weren’t going to turn back now. 

He didn’t run after you. You had predicted that he didn’t want to deal with your hysterical crying which surely could be heard past your room walls. When you considered it, this new Steve was actually quite predictable; you knew he wouldn’t bother bringing it up to you until you brought it up yourself. Because he was a coward like that, you decided. All of his actions spoke for themself and the one true motive behind his cheating is cowardice. You don’t know if you would have been okay with him going back to Peggy, but if he talked about it, things not have ended the way they did. 

After 2 days of not leaving your room, you knew that there was a better way to handle this. It wasn’t you who should be embarrassed; instead of sulking, you marched to his room with newfound determination. 

You threw open his door that he didn’t even bother locking. Steve was mid-speech with someone on the phone, seemingly a conversation that wasn’t going his way. He seemed tense, his muscles protruding from the tight white t-shirt pulled over him. 

Your jaw ticked as you shifted your weight onto one foot and rested on the doorframe, waiting for him to end the call. 

“I’m sorry to cut this short. We have a lot to talk about but it’ll have to happen in-person.” he concluded the phone call and sat on the bed with his head in his arms. 

“Seems like you planned it all.” you commented, trying to sound like you didn’t care. In reality, the wound was still very fresh. Even though a part of you had known that the relationship was over for some time now, you were only coming to terms with it now. 

“I wanted to tell you before I left, but you were just so upset and I couldn’t …” he trailed off. 

“All of a sudden you care about me? And now this is somehow my fault that you were too chicken to tell me,” you retorted, unimpressed with his answer.

“I have always cared about you and always will.” He got up and walked towards you. He cupped your face but you pushed his hand off, glaring up at him. 

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I admit I could’ve handled everything lot better but Y/N. When you told me Tony’s snap was his moment of selflessness, I realized that all I’ve ever done is be selfless. And I don’t regret any of it. But it was time I chose to do something for myself. Then I remembered Peggy and the life I left behind and I just knew this world would be okay without me so I chose to be selfish. I chose to be selfish, Y/n, and I don’t regret that either.” 

You were crying now, and Steve reached to wipe it off, but you smacked his hand. 

“You used to choose me. You woke up everyday and chose us. The day you decided you didn’t want this anymore, you decided you would just go ‘fuck all’ and cheat on me? You couldn’t have ended it like a normal person?” you questioned through your tears. Your vision was foggy but you kept wiping your eyes, trying not let him see your tears.

He sighed and let a few moments stretch on before he answered.  

“We both know that this relationship was over a long time ago Y/N.”

You noted his use of your name and not the usual pet name ‘sweetheart’ or ‘love’. It saddened you even more to think that he doesn’t associate those words with you anymore. 

“You’re a fucking bastard Rogers. You are the biggest coward I have ever met in my life. You may be the Captain America, but you are the biggest wimp in real life.” You could tell he was fuming because of your comment but you continued your spiel. 

“I tried everything to make this work. The moment that the thought of cheating crossed your mind, you should have broken my heart. Because all you did now was rip it out and stomp on it before spitting on the what’s left-”

“I can’t believe you’re standing here accusing me of not trying to make this work. You know what Y/N? I fucking left Peggy because I thought about you and thought I could make this work. And then I came back and remembered all the reasons why this wouldn’t work and now I regret it. I wish I could go back to Peggy.”

“Go fuck yourself Rogers,” you muttered and turned to leave. “Actually, go fuck Peggy’s skeleton Steve. I curse you with every cell in my body. I hope you never get to see her again. I know you’re trying to go back,” you added before wiping you final tear, once and for all. There was no way you were going to shed another tear on this asshole. 

Except, it wasn’t that simple. You did cry over it more, but if there’s anything you did right, it was making sure he never saw your tears. 

You also found that post-break up glow up’s were a real thing. The lack of missions means you didn’t need to see Steve unless you chose to be in the same space as him. So you chose to make new friends and bring new light into your life. There was no dread clouding your judgment because for once, there was no impending threat on the future of Earth. 

You cut your hair, you changed up your wardrobe and got as fit as you’ve ever been. Your friends made frequent stops at the Tower which eventually turned into dragging you into their bar hopping.

On the other hand, Steve was doing everything he could to go back to Peggy, just like you had predicted. You manifested his downfall. Hank Pym refused to let his work fall into the hands of the Avengers and Steve was having a very hard time convincing him otherwise. The final nail in the coffin was when Hank decided that Pym Particles should not be produced anymore. As long as the world didn’t understand the entirety of the quantum realm, no one should have access to something that could mess with it. No arguments could ensue because there was nothing anyone could say to change Hank’s mind.

As much as Bucky and Sam wanted him to go back, they knew he deserved it for everything you were put through. When Steve found that his friends weren’t on the same page as him, he spiraled deeper into regret and depression. There wasn’t much to be done in terms of world-saving, which is what he was made for. The person he thought was the love of his life is gone now. When the dust settled, he realized that you were the only thing that kept him going for so long. But now he lost you too, and there was nothing he could do get you back. 

While you were out living your new life, Steve was trying to find a life for himself. He would see you around the compound and wanted nothing more than to feel the warmth of your love. What he would do to feel that again, he couldn’t explain to anyone. 

Your escapades were at an all-time high. You knew that single life is the life. Just when you finally concluded that all men were trash, Ransom came crashing into your life. Although he only reinforced this belief, this man wasn’t just any trash. He was your trash. 

He was the mutual of your friends and you seemed to never be able to escape him. Moreover, your friends decided that you wouldn’t escape him. 

The teasing and playful banter between you two turned into something more serious about a year after your break-up. Ransom was everything Steve wasn’t. 

Steve was a gentleman. Chivalrous. Gentle. 

Then you reminded yourself that he had proven to you that he wasn’t any of things anymore. Ransom was the exact opposite, but he wore it on his sleeve. After all the lies and cowardice, Ransom’s blunt and bold attitude was exactly what you needed. 

There were moments you found yourself comparing the nature of the two relationships. With Steve, a lot of it was gentle and soft with some roughness around the edges. Life alongside Ransom was nothing short of callous, but that’s why soft, vulnerable moments felt even more extraordinary and special. 

If you made a judgement based off first impressions, someone like Ransom seems to be more likely to cheat than someone like Steve Rogers. Upon deeper analyzation though, Ransom doesn’t have any skeletons in his closet. He doesn’t claim things easily, but when he does, he would go to any length to make sure what’s his, will stay his. Soon after you realized this, you began abandoning thoughts of comparing the two relationships. 

//

There was a party at the Tower for Sam’s birthday. It was the first time in a long time that you were going to be around Steve for longer than 10 minutes. Doubt began seeping through your determination; how well would you fare under the pressure of pretending to be okay around him? 

“Do we have to match, sugar?” Ransom whined from your bathroom. 

“Why would you even go to an event as a couple if you aren’t matching?” you hollered back. 

You heard Ransom grumble as the bathroom door swung open. The emerald green dress shirt with small gold polka dots complemented his eyes so perfectly. Ransom was about to complain again before seeing the look of awe on your face. He decided right then that he could suck it up for the night. 

You were wearing an emerald green cocktail dress with sheer black net covering your shoulders, your sleeves reaching your elbows. The material was different, but the print was the exact same as Ransom’s. He couldn’t help but wonder why you put so much effort into such little things. He made a mental note to do something like this for you another time before wrapping his arms around your frame, burying his face into your face.

“Ran! My hair!” you squealed as you tried to push him off. 

“Usually it’s me that takes this long to get ready. You trying to impress the Captain?” Ransom winked and sat on your bed. 

“Oh fuck off.” you rolled your eyes and added the big bow to your half up hair-do. 

“You look so innocent baby. How angelic would you look with my cum dripping out of your mouth?” he smirked as you dropped your mouth, looking at him through the mirror. 

“My god Ran, this is not the time.” You shook your head and pulled him with you, finally making your way to the party downstairs. 

You were breaking out into cold sweat for some reason. Part of you really wanted to show Steve how happy you were now, but you felt that it meant you weren’t truly over him. Were you making a mistake?

Right before you opened the door the common room where the party was ongoing, Ransom stopped you and looked right into your eyes. 

“You know, as much as I’d like to make your ex jealous, if you don’t want this, I could think of a lot of other ways to spend the night,” he winked and you blushed. This is exactly why you liked him so much. There was no pressure to be anything but yourself around him. Even if you told him you wanted to go back to your room, there would be no judgement on his behalf. He wouldn’t ever bring it up as a joke either, because he just knew what he could and couldn’t joke about. 

“Let’s do this, bubbles” you giggled. He groaned at the nickname and pulled you into his side with one arm, opening the door with the other. 

One of Ransom’s many talents was making an entrance and this event was no exception. As you walked through the entrance, Ransom kept his head high and pulled you along with him. His confidence began rubbing off you and within a few steps, you stopped slouching. Straightening you back and tossing your hair behind your back, you bathed in the glory of the looks you and Ransom were getting. He took you straight to the bar, smiled at you and ordered drinks. 

“You know, your ex was fuming in the corner,” he remarked as he sipped on his drink. 

“No!” you laughed incredulously, unable to imagine Steve begin angry over Ransom’s presence. 

“It’s true, look for yourself,” he calmly retorted. His eyes flicked to a corner of the room and you followed his gaze there. Steve looked away upon seeing you look at him but it was clear that he was flustered. Bucky stood beside him, entertaining a gaggle of girls, but Steve’s attention was clearly elsewhere. 

“He’s actually pretty hot in person, it’s making me jealous” Ransom nonchalantly mentioned. 

You threw your head back and laughed. Your doubts of whether this was a good idea were dissipating very quickly. 

Ransom chuckled and then looked at you intently. You looked back at him, the high of the laugh wearing off because of his intense stare. 

“I think I’m in love with you.” you blurted. 

“You know, I’m glad you said it because I did not want to say it first.” he snickered and you playfully punched him. 

“Ow! I’m just kidding, don’t go all Avengers-mode on me!” he fussed.

You pulled him into a tight hug. He peeled your head away from his chest to cup your face and give you a light kiss before whispering ‘I love you too.’ You started to tear up, thinking of all the pain you had to go through to get this moment of tranquility with your favourite person in the whole, wide world. 

He cooed and kissed your forehead. 

“I always got you.” he assured and pulled your head back into his chest. You smiled and broke away from the hug, sitting back on the bar stool. 

“I think you transferred your lipstick because you have a dark red lip mark on your forehead.” 

You groaned and frantically wiped your forehead. 

“Hey,” he caught your wrist. “Why don’t we go back up and fix that?” His eyes glinted in the dim lights and you giggled like a schoolgirl as he pushed through the crowd.

In that moment, and every moment after it, Steve was long forgotten. 

Fill out the form in my bio or shoot me a message if you want to join my tag list!

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[goldensstateofgrace]

Dream Of How You (Tasted) - Chapter One -

(So... my first Series!!! I’ll be working on this a lot, and i want you to know it’s not gonna be perfect because I’m not perfect and my writings definitely not perfect, so bare with me on this journey please!! Who’s ready for some Camgirl!y/n??)

A story about Y/N becoming a camgirl because she needs the money but also because she gets off on the praise she gets from total strangers. She enjoys helping other’s get off while doing so herself. When talk about a one on one session with a guy who always watches her streams becomes reality, what happens when she finds out it was her crush/best friend all along?

I hope you guys are excited!! bc I know I am!! Hope you enjoy, happy reading!!

(Also, i picture Harry as long haired harry, but you can picture him however you’d like!!!)

Word count: 1.7k (4 pages) (i promise the other chapters will be longer!)

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Y/n didn’t know college could be so expensive, her job at the coffee shop on campus just wasn’t cutting it anymore. She needed to find something else to help pay for school and her rent. 

She’s in her second year of uni, all the book costs and the rent for having an apartment so close to campus is outrageous. She tried to find a second job to help with the money problem she was currently having, but couldn't find anything that could work around her classes and coffee shop schedule. 

Her best friend, Harry, tried to get her a job alongside him at his job, but again the schedule didn’t work for her and they couldn’t change it. So now, she's stuck trying to find something to do so close when she needs to pay her rent. 

It was outrageous how much the rent was for a one bedroom apartment close to campus, it’s a thousand - some dollars a month just to be close to campus, but that’s including her light and water bill so she can’t complain too much. 

Harry had offered to let her move in with him to cut down the cost, so she could save some money for school. But she declined because her boyfriend at the time didn’t feel comfortable with it, only to find out on their one year anniversary that he had been cheating on her for a while. Asshole. 

Nothing has been said since, but she wished he would. Moving out of her apartment would help so much, but she didn’t want to ask. 

Lost in her thoughts she didn’t even notice Harry walking beside her, as she walked across the courtyard to class. 

“Why so glum” he nudged her in the side with his elbow, startling her out of her thoughts. She slaps in on the arm, chuckling, “Harry! Don’t do that!”

“You didn’t answer the question, What’s wrong? And don’t give me the ‘Nothing im fine!’ thing you do,” he says, mimicking a higher pitched girly voice, chuckling once he was done. 

“Heyy! I don’t sound like that you twat!” you backhand his abdomen making him rub his stomach area as he grimaces in slight pain. 

“But” she starts, “i’ve just been struggling again, i tried looking for a job but, just like last time the schedule didn’t line up with any of my classes or with when i was working at the coffee shop.” she says, huffing in annoyance. 

Harry nods his head as she talks, listening to her, wishing he could help in some way. He tried before, but she turned him down, she didn’t even tell him why. He figured it had something to do with that cheating ex of hers. 

“Y/n, if you need help, all you have to do is ask. I’ll always be her to help you in any way I can,” he tells her, his eyes flickering over her face, showing nothing but seriousness, a drastic change from his happy light hearted self he was just a few minutes ago.

She casts her eyes away from him, focusing her eyes on the pavement under her feet as she walks. She doesn’t say anything for a while, but eventually she looks up at him, tears filling her eyes. 

“I know” she nods, “Thank you, Harry. You don’t have to, but thank you,” she says, the tears in her eyes threatening to spill down her cheek but they don’t get the chance as she wipes them away before they do. 

Harry wraps his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his side and placing a kiss to her head, “I may not have to, but i want to.” he mumbles into the top of her head. 

Her arm wraps around his middle as they continue to walk to their second class of that morning, “Thank you.” 

--------------

“You know what you should do?” Harry's friend Niall says as y/n, Harry, Niall and y/n’s friend Amy sit around a table in the coffee shop having lunch. Y/n quirks her eyebrow up as she takes a bite of her turkey sandwich, motioning him to go on.

Y/n had just got finished telling them about how she was in search of another job, and about how she needed the money to pay rent soon. 

“You should do only fans, or p*** h**, they make lots of money and that way you get something out of it other than stress and tiredness.” he says, making her almost choke on her sandwich. 

“W-what!”  y/n says just as Harry says “Dude! No!” 

“What’s the big deal? Lots of people do it, and you don’t even have to show your face. You could even go by a different name!” Niall reasons. 

Y/n was shocked by his suggestion, but she wouldn’t lie and say she was put off by the idea. Nobody would know it was her, and he did have a point about her not having to go by her own name. 

She couldn’t believe she was actually considering this but, you have to do what you have to do. 

“yeah uh” she clears her throat, “good suggestion Ni, but i think i’ll just stick with trying to find a job near campus” she says, chuckling as she takes another bite of her sandwich. 

“eh, it was worth a shot,” he laughs, before the conversation steers to assignments everyone had to get done and ones they’ve already done. 

After they all finish eating they sit around talking for a little bit before Y/n and Harry had to head for their last class of the day. 

As they walk to class, Harry’s arm that’s thrown over y/n’s pulls her into his side, “You know Niall was coming from a good place, right. He didn’t mean to offend you or anything,” he says, making you look up at him with your brows furrowed in confusion. 

“yeah , i know. I didn’t take any offence to it, but…” she trailed off, “What?” harry asks, motioning for her to continue as they walk past a group of people blocking the sidewalk. 

“Would it be so bad? I mean he had a point about me not having to show my face or use my actual name” she said, her eyes flicking over his face for some kind of clue into what he thought of it all. 

Harry doesn’t say anything for a while, it’s just as they were about to walk into their class that he pulled her to the side and let their other classmates go in first, “I don’t have a problem with it, it’s your body, you have the right to do whatever you want with it. If you decide that that’s what you want to do to make the money you need i’ll support you 100%, if not i’ll still support you, no matter what,” He tells her, looking into her eyes with nothing but seriousness splayed across his face. 

Y/n nods, standing up on her tiptoes and reaching her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, “Thank you, Harry. I honestly don’t know what i’d do without you!” she mumbles into his neck as his arms wrap around her waist pulling her impossibly closer to his chest. 

“I don’t either honestly” he laughs, pulling away from her with a huge contagious smile across his face, only making her laugh and smile too. 

“Come on, let's go to class,” he said, throwing his arm back around her shoulder and leading her through the classroom doors. 

----------------

It was later that night, y/n couldn’t sleep. Her thoughts running wild with what could happen if she did decide to become a camgirl, or whatever it was called these days. 

She was laying in bed, trying to find out more about what comes with being a camgirl, what she needed to do and what other people were looking to watch. 

She had found a girl, her page consisting of videos showing off her curves and sexy lingerie, along with videos of her using toys on herself. All of the videos have over thousands of views, y/n decided that she would message the women who went by ‘daddiespet20’. 

Rewrote her message so many times she lost count before she finally found what she wanted to ask and sent the message,“Hey! I’m y/n, i was wondering if you could maybe help me, i’ve been looking into getting into only fans. Could you maybe help me with some questions I have?”

She waited a while for a reply back, along with going down a tiktok rabbit hole, laughing at the stupid tiktoks Harry posted the other day. Her phone finally pinged with a notification, she quickly pulled the notification bar down to see it was a reply from the women she had messaged, “Daddiespet20: Hi! Yes ofc, ask away.”

She honestly wasn’t expecting to get a reply back, thinking the women must have thousands of people messaging her all day every day. 

Y/n quickly wrote out a message of the main questions she wanted answered, “Thank you sm! It’s only a few questions, 1: does the amount you get paid rely on the amount of views you get on each of your videos?, 2: how did you gain your audience, and keep them interested in what you were putting out?, 3: Do you have any tips on where to start (seeing as I'm new to all of this)?”

The woman answers all of y/n’s questions with no problem, along with telling her some tips on how to get started and how to gain followers. The conversion ends after messaging back and forth for almost an hour, y/n’s walking away with all the information she was looking for plus more. 

Talking to her really helped y/n come to the decision that this is what she was going to do, she was going to make videos of her showing off her body and pleasuring herself. Never in a million years did she think she would come to this just so she could keep a roof over her head and stay in school. 

Now all she had to do was buy some sexy lingerie and some toys, well more toys. What? She’s not a prude!

 It was getting late so she decided she would go to bed and figure everything out tomorrow, along with ordering her underwear and the toys online. She definitely didn’t need anyone from school seeing her by that stuff. God, she could just imagine the embarrassment she would feel if that happened. 

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Feed back is highly appreciated!! Hope you enjoyed 🥺🥰

[grangers-broomstick]

”Hold on, I tried to call Ron, who is this?” Potter doesn’t sound even a little bit out of breath. Twat. Draco sees him run past the Tom Ford store and silently prays that the awful looking grey monster with tentacles that is following Potter doesn’t destroy one of his favorite stores.

”Someone who’s watching this spectacle live. Merlin, I feel like im watching a muggle moving picture, a film is it? Anyways, Potter, watch out behind you,” Draco replies, and takes a sip of his tea. He watches as Potter hastily points his wand at that thing behind him. ”That beast was about to slice you in half, you really ought to be more careful. Didn’t they teach you anything at auror training?”

”What?” Is all Potter says and Draco silently contemplates how he managed to become an auror with such underdeveloped critical thinking skills and terrible awareness of his surroundings. Draco thinks he is absolutely daft.

”Wrong number, and before you ask, yes I am a wizard with a muggle telephone and no I have no clue how to successfully operate this thing. It’s been fun to try though,” Draco takes another slow sip of his tea. Just twenty minutes prior, Draco had sat himself down at this café somewhere in central London for a calm, extremely boring brunch. And then Potter came to ruin it by blasting a bunch of slimey, grey tentacle monsters right down the block. Typical. ”Please, Potter, get this over with. I would very much like to enjoy my brunch as soon as possible.”

”Who are you?” Draco watches as he almost dies, again, and rolls his eyes. He feels as though he should probably be startstruck that Harry Potter, of all people, accidentally called him on his muggle flip phone, but honestly? He’s been through more shocking things. He thinks.

”The name is Draco Malfoy,” Draco tells him as he watches Potter turn a corner up ahead, and he’s gone in a swoosh of monsters and red flashes of light. ”Anyways, you should probably hang up now to focus on that thing following you, it’s about to turn the same corner you just did.”

Draco hears Potter’s swear through the phone, and then a list of spells shouted in rapid fashion. Most likely at the beast. ”Uhm, okay, thanks,” he says.

”Whatever,” Draco says, and then snaps shut his flip phone. He continues to sip his tea.

***

Almost four weeks later, Draco’s phone rings again whilst he is cooking dinner. He doesn’t recognise the number, but he picks up anyway.

”Oh thank Merlin, Ron. Please tell me how to stop a densaugeo hex,” Potter’s, now familiar, voice says.

Draco sighs. ”Still not Ron,” he replies. ”But just use a shrinking charm, it should do the job.”

”Huh? Who is this?”

Draco sighs again, this time annoyingly and loud enough for Potter to hear over the phone. The water starts to boil over in the pot on the stove and he turns down the heat slightly. ”Draco Malfoy, same person you called when those awful grey things were trying to kill you, do you recall? Reducio should save whatever has been hexed, you’re welcome.”

”Thanks,” Potter says, hesitantly. ”So, I still have the wrong number in my phone?”

”Well, considering I’m not Ron or his affair de coeur, yes, it seems so Potter,” Draco snarls, and smirks as he hears Potter laugh on the other line.

”Alright, that’s fair. Thank you,” Potter replies. Draco hears him mutter the charm under his breath faintly. ”Draco, was it?”

”Yes, I’ve told you that twice now,” Draco turns of the stove with a flick of his wand and pours the pasta into a bowl. ”Well, I would like to enjoy my dinner now so, goodbye.”

He hangs up the phone and eats his dinner in the living room. He thinks about Potter.

”Merlin what an idiot,” he says out loud.

***

Draco’s phone rings while he is at work only a week later, and Draco already knows who’s calling. Not that he is keeping track. He rolls his eyes and picks up.

”Hurry up, I’m busy,” Draco says, adding two drops of flobberworm mucus to his cauldron and stirring 4 times clockwise.

”Hey Draco,” Potter says, sounding awfully entertained. Draco huffs. ”Am I disturbing you?”

”As a matter of fact, you are indeed Potter. I’m working, get to it,” he says, and tries to focus on the dreamless sleep he’s making.

”Just wondering, do you know anywhere I could get some blood-replenishing potion? The Apothecary has run out and it’s sort of urgent.”

Draco hums into the phone, and presses it in between his shoulder and head in order to cut up some lavender. ”If you’re brave enough, Mr Mulpepper’s is on Knockturn Alley. If you just walk past Borgin’s and to the left, you should see it.”

”You think I’m scared? I defeated Voldemort, I think I can manage Knockturn Alley,” Potter says, and Draco can practically feel the grin on his face.

This would probably be a good time to owl Pansy to admit that he has been properly enamoured by Britain’s golden boy. Ugh. Not fair. Totally not fair.

”You’re not half as cute as you think you are, Potter,” he lies through his teeth. He stirs the cauldron anti-clockwise and adds the lavender.

Potter chuckles, and Draco feels it in his whole body. ”No, but you’re probably twice as cute as I think you are,” he says. ”Anyway, thanks for the tip Draco,” and then he hangs up.

Draco stares at the cauldron of dreamless sleep for at least, like, five minutes. He should be shocked that this was the third time Potter rang, if he wasn’t so dumfounded by the fact that Potter was flirting with him. Harry Potter had called him, on purpose, to flirt with him.

Draco fucks up the dreamless sleep. It turns blue. He gives up on trying to save it after that.

***

Just a few days later Draco is on his way to have a few drinks with Blaise and Pansy, when the phone rings. Draco would very much like to ignore it, but the ringtone is so immensely antagonising he thinks it should be illegal.

”Again, Potter, really? Be quick about it, I’m a busy person,” Draco drawls into the phone.

”Draco Lucius Malfoy, born 5th of June 1980 in Forcalquier, France. Son and only heir to Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Malfoy, née Black. Oh, you’re Sirius’ cousin, how fun, I’m totally going to make fun of him for that. Anyway, your father was a notorious death eater, played a major role in the second wizarding war and was considered You-Know-Who’s second in command. Very interesting. Your aunt was quite infamous too, Bellatrix Lestrange. She tortured me once, you know. You grew up in France and attended Beauxbatons Academy of Magic, I suspect for reasons being to stay away from your father, perhaps. Graduated top of your class three years ago, and works as a potioneer, is that right?”

Draco draws in a sharp breath. He had stopped walking and was standing in the middle of the street as if he had been hit with a petrificus totalus. Mild panic claws at his chest, but he continues walking. He couldn’t quite place the voice, but it sounds awfully familiar. The person is soft spoken, and the speech didn’t sound cruel, so he tries to calm down.

”That is indeed right, may I ask who I’m talking to?” Draco asks, trying to sound nonchalant. He drags a shaky hand through his hair.

”Oh yes, of course, my apologies,” the voice says, a bit muffled, as if the person is moving around. ”The name’s Hermione Granger.”

Ah. A lightbulb in Draco’s head turns on. ”Miss Granger, what a pleasure. Thank you for calling, I was just thinking about my cousin, Sirius was it? Last I heard he escaped Azkaban, how thrilling.”

”Hm, yes that was quite some time ago. He’s doing well now, all the things he had been inprisoned for were a lie, so,” Granger gets cut off by someone and there is quiet mumbling. He tries to make out the words but to no luck. Instead, he focuses on the directions to the pub. Something rastles over the phone, and Granger is back. ”Well, I just thought I’d call. Harry’s been very smitten as of late.”

”How fun for him,” Draco says and hangs up. He speeds up the pace.

**

The next evening, Draco had just walked through the front door to his apartment when that dreadful ringtone starts again. He slams the door shut and walks to his bedroom.

”You know, usually, people don’t keep calling the wrong number, Potter,” he says and squeezes the phone between his shoulder and cheek. ”And, I would very much like a peaceful evening so if this is Granger, please spare me the speech about my own family tree.”

”Wait what?” Potter’s voice fills his ears and he closes his eyes and shivers. ”Hermione? She did what?”

Draco unclasps his robes and shrugs them off his shoulders. He starts at unbuttoning his pants and curses as he almost stumbles over them as they fall to his his ankles.

”Draco, are you okay?” Potter says, sounding concerned. ”What are you… are you undressing?”

”What an excellent observation, Potter. But don’t get your wand in a knot, this isn’t some awful sex line,” he replies and steps out of his pants. He pulls on some old pyjama pants. ”I don’t think you could afford me, if I’m honest.”

Potter laugh is loud through the phone and Draco basks in it for just a moment. He pulls on a t-shirt and flicks a folding charm at his clothes before making his way to the kitchen.

”You’re funny Draco, but what was that about Hermione? What did she do?”

”Oh Merlin Potter, don’t worry. She just called me to kindly remind me of my heritage and the fact that my family is insane, no harm done,” Draco mutters and heats up his two day old Chinese takeout with a wave of his wand.

”Oh fuck, fuck, I’m- I’m sorry Draco, really,” Potter sounds annoyed. Draco wonders if Granger is in trouble. ”I’m going to have to call you back.”

Draco hums, ”Please don’t. I’m going to be asleep in approximately fifteen minutes, and I need my precious beauty sleep. Why do you think I wake up looking perfect every day? Ugh, you understand nothing Potter, imbecile.”

Draco hears another one of Potter’s dark chuckles before he hangs up, and silently prays to Salazar that he’s not going to be woken up by the phone ringing tomorrow morning.

***

The phone doesn’t ring the next morning, or the next until its been almost two weeks since he last spoke to Potter. Bit it’s Thursday afternoon, and Harry Potter walks into Mr Mulpepper’s potions shop. Draco is up front at the register today, and Merlin how he wished he was in the back brewing something right about now.

Potter steps through the door and the bell makes a little jingle. He heads straight for the hangover potions and takes a couple of vials before looking at Draco. He watches as Potter looks him up and down, and he wonders if he knows that it’s him. If maybe Granger had told him about Draco and his family, and maybe that’s why he hadn’t called in a few weeks.

He swallows and throws a small smile at Potter. He smiles back. Okay, Draco thinks, maybe he doesn’t know.

”Just these, please,” Potter says, and puts the vials on the counter carefully. He shoves his hand in a pocket of his robes.

”That’ll be 2 galleons and 10 sickles, Potter,”

Potter’s head shoots up and his movements stop completely. They stare at each other for a few uncomfortably long seconds. Draco looks away first.

”What, forgotten how to count, have you? I really don’t have all day, we have lots of customers you know,” he snarks. Potter shakes his head and slowly, a grin lights up his face. Draco wants to strangle him.

”There’s no one here but me,” Potter says and pulls out a few galleons more than necessary and puts them on the counter between them. Draco huffs out a laugh. ”I’m sorry, I haven’t… I never called you back, work has been hectic.”

He’s still grinning. His hair is in it’s usual mess, looking like he had just had a proper shag. I want to shag him, Draco thinks. Ugh. Not fair, so not fair.

”Hm, you don’t owe me anything, Potter. I was wondering why you kept calling in the first place,” Draco says. Merlin, was his voice a bit shaky? It is totally Potter’s fault for making him nervous.

”Well, what can I say? I kind of like the arsehole that picks up,” Potter says and Draco can feel a smile growing on his own face too. He blames Potter for his future wrinkles.

”Well Potter, are you insinuating that you’ve been calling me only for my arse? I already told you, you can’t afford me,” Draco says and picks nervously at his nails. He looks down and counts out the money since Potter is too preoccupied with staring, still.

The man hums, and Draco closes his eyes briefly. “I mean, it’s a beautiful arse, don’t get me wrong. But, I think the sarcastic personality does it for me too.”

Draco lets himself laugh now, and shoves Potter lightly with a hand to his chest. He swears at Salazar for making Harry Potter so fucking fit.

“So, Draco, what do you say about a date?”

Draco is going to kill him.

[mcwritingblog]

Immortal: Chapter 1

A Girl and Her Cat

Pairing: Javier Pena x reader

Summary: A small town barista meets a handsome Javi.

Rating: G

Author’s note: Hey guys I'm sorry this doesn't have a lot of Javier in it, its really a big set up chapter for the story.

Word count: 2k

1975, a random fall Tuesday 

I don't know how it even happened, or how I met him. At the time I was living in a small town in Columbia run by Americans, keeping to myself, not drawing any attention to myself. He walked into my cafe and got a small black coffee. He stayed a while, reading his small novel.  

“Hi there, stranger, I got your coffee”, you said as you set down his drink. “Anything else?”

“No ma’am. Thank you”

“No problem”, you went to turn away but you had to know, “Um, hey?”

“Yes?”

“You've come in before.  What's your name?”

“Javier”

“Javier. I'm y/n. Let me know if you need anything. Maybe next time you could try a latte”, he lets out a snort. You go back to cleaning. It was extremely slow today so you got the go-ahead from your boss to close up early. 

“Miss?”

You turned around and saw Javier leaning up against his truck with a smile. 

You grasp your chest. “You scared me. I didn't notice you there.”

“Were you about to walk home?”

“Yes”

“Would you mind a ride?”

“My apartment isn't that far from here, but thank you I appreciate it.”

“Anytime.”

And like that, you were walking home, enjoying the weather. It was chilly and the leaves were falling beside you everywhere. You didn't mind the ten-minute walk to your apartment. You don't even get in the door before your cat starts meowing at you. 

“Avery, give me one moment. I'll feed you I promise.”. You love the hell out of the black cat but the girl is so needy.

You flick off your shoes by the front door, bending down to pet Avery. You walked past her to shake some food into her bowl. With how she rushes to it, you'd think she never got fed. Silly girl. You walk over to the couch and lay out, grabbing the blanket to get comfortable, a few moments pass and your cat hops up to snuggle up to you. You flip on your tv to find something to have in the background and settle on Hawaii Five O. There's something about cops that attracts you so much. You find yourself falling asleep, Avery radiating heat on your stomach. 

---

You were woken up the next morning by your alarm clock; another day, another dollar. You were on second shift today so you didn't have to be in until 11. You got up and made yourself toast and eggs, making sure fatso had her food too. 

“Pretty girl”, you say scratching her chin and heading towards the door, adding an “I’ll be back later. Byeee”

The walk to the shop today was extra nice. You can smell the aroma of a pumpkin pie as you pass the houses in your neighborhood and hear the sounds of children playing outside. The giggles brought life to the quiet afternoon. As you come closer to the city, the more you hear the sounds of cars passing and smells of bread being baked at the bakery down the street. The bakers wave at you as you pass the front window. You hold up two fingers, gesturing back. Two shops down is Mrs. Rivera trying to hang up plants, struggling to steady herself, AND the hanging ivy pot.

“Here let me help you.”, you say as you come behind her and catch the pot, succeeding in hanging it up on her awning.

“Thank you, sweetheart!”, she says as she wipes her hands on her apron.

“No problem. I have to get going but come by for a latte?”, you ask.

“Yeah. I’ll see you” 

And with that, you were back to it. Half a block down and you come to the shop's front door. It dings as you enter.

“You're late”, your boss, Maria, gets on to you.

“Mrs. Rivera needed help again.”

“Uh-huh. Get your butt back there”, she snorts. She's not mad. Thank god.

“Been busy today?”You ask about taking off your backpack and hanging it up. The shop was basically vacant. The only customer you could see was a college kid studying in the corner. You walk around to pick up mugs and empty plates from various tables.

“Not really. The usuals mostly… Oh! A guy was asking about you! He asked if I knew if you got home safe?”, she asked, confused.

“Ah yes, Javier. He offered to take me home last night.”, you say while walking the dirty dishes to the back.

“He’s cute. You should get in there, girl”, she yells to you. “In there?”, you come around the corner and scoff, “I'm not that interested in dating right now.”

“You should. You can't just spend all your free time with your cat and nonexistent characters in your books.”

“Can.” You point out “And will” 

“You're only 24, do you really wanna throw away that opportunity?”

You could only muster up an eye roll.

----

The rest of the shift went off without a problem. Maria went home shortly after her talk with you. The next few hours included a couple of customers but mostly some cleaning. Mrs. Rivera actually came to see you, even getting a hot chocolate for her grandson when she got her latte. You hold a conversation with her for a while, talking about her daughter’s new job at the school. Maria said something about that a couple of weeks ago. The rest of the regulars got their usual drinks, only sticking around long enough for their drinks. The clock soon hits 7 pm.

“Another tea?”, you ask the college student in the corner. He’s been here for your whole shift and has gotten two hot green teas with sugar.

“No ma’am. I'm about to leave but I appreciate it.”

‘Alright. Don't be a stranger”, you say, taking his cup and saucer to the back to clean it off. You place it in the strainer to left it air dry. As you are in the back, the customer packed up and left, leaving the shop empty.

You walk past every table, wiping it down and stacking chairs on top, then grabbing the broom. You quite enjoy the quiet chill night, humming a simple tune. The night offers an array of noises through the open door: Grasshoppers chirping and the soft whistle of the breeze. You finish sweeping and put up the broom. “The tips were pretty good today”, you think, pushing the money into your pocket, removing your apron, locking up, and heading home.

----

You had Thursday off and planned to spend it accordingly. You slept until you couldn't anymore, got up, and fed Avery, offering extra pets to the needy cat. She snuggles up to you on the couch, laying in the space in front of your stomach. Your newest interest? Murder mysteries. So you are relaxing on the couch reading Agatha Christie’s Death on the Nile. 

You get pretty far into the book before hearing a knock at your door. Weird. Then walk to unlatch the door, swinging it open.

“Uh... hello?”, you questioned the man in front of you. He’s standing there with his hand to the back of his neck, looking nervous

“Hi. Umm, I'm new to building. I live across the hall. I’m Anthony”, he reaches his hand out. You take his hand and shake it.

“Y/N”, you respond, smiling.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N”

“Would you like to come in for some coffee? I just put on a fresh pot”, you invite.

“Yeah, that sounds nice.”, his face sparks up in happiness. He takes your invitation and walks into your apartment, you close the door behind him.

‘Wow. Nice apartment. How long have you been living here?”

“Eh, a while”. Boy, you have NO idea.

He sits down at your dinner table and you bring over two coffee mugs.

“Cream? Sugar?”, you ask.

“Yes. Both please”, he responds and you hand him the containers of cream and sugar.

“Just moved here?”

“Yeah. From Arizona. The owner told me that you're one of the only Americans renting here. Thought I might come by and say hello.”

“Arizona, huh?”

“Yeah. I used to live in Georgia when I was a young girl but I’ve been around the world a lot. Been a while since I’ve been in the United States”, you drift off for a second but reel it in. “ Where in Arizona are you from?”

“Tucson. Wasn’t a bad place to live but I went to college for a major in the Spanish language. I wanted to visit places where I could hear the different dialects and see the different cultures. Thus, I am in Columbia.”

“Ah, you see I just wanted to see the world. I’ve been almost everywhere”

‘What was your favorite place to visit?”, he asks, fully focused on the conversation and not realizing Avery’s furry body rubbing against his shins. She meows. “Oh, well, hello there pretty girl. What’s your name?”. He reaches down to pet her back.

“That’s Avery. But back to your question, I was living in Greece for a while and I just adored the blue waters and sandy beaches.”

He takes a sip of his coffee and asks, “So what brought you here?”

“Need a change of scene. I had a friend who lived here but she passed away a couple of years ago”, you reply back nonchalantly, shrugging your shoulders.

“Oh, im so sorry to hear that. Not too pry but we’re you close?”

“Yeah, We knew each other for a while.”

“How’d she die?”, he asks further

“Old age”, you let slip.

“Old age? he responds surprised.

“Uh... yeah. A family friend.”, you try to make up a better story to keep suspicion off of you.

That conversation kind of ended before it started, instead opting for a conversation about Anthony’s studies in places like Cuba and Spain. The talk circled around to different places you’ve visited, Rome being a topic that seemed to trail on and on. The sun outside seems to start to set.

“I’ve got to get going but it was nice to meet you, Y’N”

“You too, Anthony. Let me know if you need a cup of sugar or anything”, you say following him towards your door. He steps through and across the hallway to his front door. When he shuts his door, you follow suit. You turn around and you can feel Avery’s judging eyes on you.

“I know, I almost blew my cover”, you tell your feline friend. She meows.

-----

You weren't wrong when you told Anthony you’ve been living in Columbia for a while. The problem is his definition and your definition of “a while” were completely different. The truth is you lived in Columbia for 40 years and in this town for about 20. You didn’t age. The only person who could possibly know is Mrs. Rivera but she is very good at minding her own business. You were one of the only ones who came to her husband’s funeral a year ago. You’re practically family. The town’s oldest residents have passed and the owners of the apartments change every couple of years. The rent is paid in cash and the tenets come and go. Every couple of decades you move to another small town in another country. 

You lived a normal life but you didn’t know your parents. You lived in the orphanage until you were 18. It was then you took up a job, reading in your spare time, and traveling when you could. You didn’t even realize your immortality until you were 40 looking 20. And then 50 looking 20. You did try to date but soon came to realize that you’d outlive them, leaving a trail of broken hearts. You were pretty sure you were incapable of love. 80 years old and not prepared for what happened next.

Javier Pena was about to change your life.