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sweatervest-obsessed · 2 months ago

Text

Last, Last Time

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader (she/her pronouns)

WC: ~7.3k

TW: Angst, guns, violence, mentions of domestic violence, blood, swearing, depression, kidnapping, manipulation, self-deprecating thoughts, heartbreak, arguing, the grieving process, drinking, screaming, crying, sobbing, throwing up, being under pressure, and anything else that comes with a criminal minds episode.

a/n: based on S15 E6 - first date. I love u aubrey plaza <3. Also inspired by the song Last, Last Time by Boys Go To Jupitar. writing this was a little bit of a catharsis since it's one of the first things I've been able to write. I'm sorry I've been so m.i.a., i just moved to a new country and that has been a crazy experience. But to cope with that, enjoy some gut-wrenching angst!

Alternate Ending! Spencer Masterlist

“Spencer I won’t—I can’t keep doing this. I’m sick of arguing in circles.”

“Y/n…”

“I-I feel like you take me for fucking granted Spencer. All I do is work and then come home and wait for you to actually be able to, I don’t know, sleep in the same bed as me for more than four hours.”

The look in his eyes almost took you out but your heart had already been broken long, long before this argument. If anything, you were starting to feel this sense of freedom as you broke his heart.

“Please. Y/n. Just–I don’t—Just give me a few days to convince Hotch to let me have some time off and we can work on this please.”

“Wait for the potential of us?”

Spencer’s jaw loosened. You couldn’t read beyond the initial layer of pain and confusion, which made your chest ache since not too long ago you could have been able to find everything you needed in his expression.

“God Spencer this can’t be fucking news to you. We’ve been drifting apart for months now.”

“I know, I know. You have been so patient with me and I’ve just been….there was that whole thing with Cat and then….I-I was trying so hard y/n…”

“No, first there was that whole thing with Maeve.”

“That’s not fair—”

“Oh that’s not fair? Really? You’re going to tell me the entire Maeve thing isn’t fair to you?”

“I’m sorry.”

You sighed and closed your eyes. “I’m not saying you weren’t trying but come one Spencer. There’s no need to deny this shit anymore. I hate it when you lie to me about these kinds of things.”

Spencer’s hand came up to his face and it dragged down, aging him significantly with the fatigue written all over his face.

“So you’re just going to pack up everything, break my heart, and leave? Were you even going to say goodbye, or was I going to come home to an empty home. A note or....”

“I-I don’t know Spencer. I just don’t…”

The tears were starting to creep in, and you had to place the box down before you lost it.

“This isn’t easy for me either…” Your chest heaved.

The both of you stood in silence, tension simmering surrounding the both of you like heat on a summer’s eve. Neither of you could really look at one another, but it felt wrong to look at anything else. Something was missing but you couldn’t say it outloud. You knew you would always love Spencer Reid but this time it was not enough.

“I’m tired of arguing Spencer.”

Your eyes met his. You felt Spencer’s arms around you before you could even feel the tears hit your cheeks. Your arms immediately went to his neck, so familiar. No longer home.

Spencer’s voice muttered into your ear. “Don’t cry Jolie. It’ll be okay..”

About three years ago, Spencer had decided that he didn’t like that you had nicknames for him, and he had none for you. He spent weeks workshopping different ones : Sugar, Honey, Pumpkin, Sweetheart, Darlin, Pookie, Lover, Sunny (like sunshine), Sunshine—it was a wild few weeks trying to figure out who he was talking to. Then one day, offhandedly, he was trying to tell you about this french film he had been watching, and trying to get Emily to watch with him.

He called you ‘tres jolie’, and blushing you had asked him what it meant. He told you it meant pretty.

And it stuck.

Now? It stung.

All you could do was squeeze tightly onto him, not ready to let go.

“You’re so pretty when you’re lying through your teeth.” You whispered after a few moments, pulling away out of his arms.

“I.” You swallow and step back, out of his reach. “Maybe I’ll...”

Spencer just looked up at the ceiling, trying to hold in the tears that were streaming down his face.

You grabbed the last box on the counter and your keys, and walked out, for the last time.

You awoke in your bed, eyes adjusting to the complete darkness the blackout curtains provided you.

Another fucking night thinking about your decision those four years ago, and how your life may have gotten better because of it.

Moving to get up from the bed, you decided to leave the curtains closed for now, feeling as if you could melt from the sun touching you.

You turned on the bathroom light and started your morning routine. Wash face. Take meds. Brush teeth. Fix hair—

Somewhere in that process, you got lost, and just stared at yourself in the mirror. You weren’t sure for how long. All you could do was replay the last four years.

Did you make the right choice? You were happy, you had your dream job.

Maybe it was true what they say, you can only have a career or love, but not both—

The only thing taking you out of this spiral was the ringer on your phone going off.

This caused some hesitation because your phone’s ringer was always off––the loud noise startling you. There were only a few people who had that emergency bypass, and none of them had called you in four years.

You peaked out of the bathroom and saw the name light up on your phone.

Emily Prentiss

______________________________________________________________

The door to the round room opened up and in walked Spencer Reid. “Catch me up.”

Prentiss clicked the remote, and the TV lit up with a picture of a woman smirking facing the camera while holding a gun up to another one next to her. “Early this morning, Garcia got an email from an anonymous server.”

The second woman was tied up, mouth slightly open, and eyes filled with tears, while a man on the other side just had his eyes closed, tired. .

Spencer just stared at the photo.

Rossi nodded at the picture. “She's not obscuring her face, telling us she's got nothing to hide.”

He never pulled focus away from the screen, mouth dry at the thought of what today was going to be. “Any ideas on the unsub?”

“No.” Prentiss sighed. “Only the unsub's demand. That we release Catherine Adams in 24 hours. I'm having her transferred here for questioning, but we have no illusions. This is just a game to her. We know that. The question is, do we want to play it or not?”

______________________________________________________________

Receiving a call from the FBI was not entirely new to you, since you had been engaged to one of their agents, but receiving one now? Weird. Off brand. Something was deeply wrong from them to have to give you a call.

You hesitantly pick up the phone. “Hello?”

“Hey Y/n, it’s Emily Prentiss—“

“I know who you are, Emily. It’s been a couple years, not millions.”

Emily hummed a brief laugh, and you could hear other voices behind her, unable to make out anything.

“I know this is hard to ask of you, but would you stay on the phone with me and come in?”

“What?”

“I need you to stay very calm Y/n, but I need you to stay on the line with me, leave your apartment as soon as you can, and get to the BAU.”

“Oh my god I totally forgot. It might take me an hour to get there with all this bullshit traffic, could we push the reservation an hour? Would they be willing to do that?”

Your entire tone changed, having remembered what Spencer had told you all those years ago about if people were listening into your apartment, if they bugged your car—all paranoia that didn’t pay off then, might be paying off now.

You were sure you could hear Emily sigh, and it sounded a little upset at the fact that you knew what to do–you knew how to handle a dangerous situation, which made her question everything in her life.

Quickly you pulled on a pair of jeans and threw a sweatshirt over your pajama top and grabbed your keys off of the counter.

You left your apartment, waved to one of your neighbors, and hopped into your car, still on the line, just trying not to panic. Maybe something went wrong, maybe Spencer wasn’t okay, maybe he had died—you refused to even acknowledge that thought and decided it was something else entirely.

It was a very tense hour of driving, that was only about forty minutes since you knew how to drive above the speed limit.

You realized that it was past midday, and you had taken full advantage of the weekend. So at least you had a decent amount of sleep under your belt for what felt like the beginning of an extraneous night.

As you pulled into the parking garage, Emily Prentiss and someone you had never met before were standing there waiting for you. You placed your car in park, hopped out and walked up to them–only hanging up as soon as you were out of the car.

Both of them had such grim looks on their faces, but at least they were trying to pretend like the situation wasn’t as bad as it appeared to your face.

Emily engulfed you in a hug. “Missed you Y/n. It’s been too long.”

“Well Em, next time I end an engagement with someone I’ll consider your feelings first.” You squeezed him back, dryly laughing at your own joke. At least it caused Emily to snort.

“Y/n this is SSA Luke Alvez. Luke, this is Y/n Y/l/n.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” He gave a small smile and nodded at you.

“I wish it were under different circumstances.” You nodded back and looked over at Emily.

“Let’s head inside?”

The three of you moved inside.

Sure, you hadn’t been here in a while, but you knew your way around the BAU Bullpen if your life depended on it, which was ironic since that was what this feels like.

As soon as you were safely in their round table room, Luke shut the door, and stood by it, Emily coming and sitting down next to you.

“What do you know about Cat Adams?”

That bitch.

______________________________________________________________

“I would like to go on a date. With you.”

Spencer stared at her, face stoic as ever. “A date?”

“Yes. I want to look pretty. And I want to have fun.” She looked him up and down. “And I won't even get physical, ok? Unless you want me to.”

Spencer sat down across from her. “Come here. Closer.”

Cat leaned in, a small smile on her face, absolutely intoxicated by being so close to him.

“The only date that I'll be there for is the one where they stick a needle in your vein.”

Cat scoffed. “You're just going to let her father and sister die? I don't think so.”

“I never said it was a father and daughter. You're already slipping.” He stood up from the table. “We'll find them. We always do.”

Cat leaned back and crossed her arms. “Not tonight. Tonight I win.”

His resolution had yet to change, “The score between me and you is two to zero. By tomorrow morning, it'll be a clean sweep. Enjoy eternal nothingness. It's a metaphor for your life.”

And with that, the door slammed shut behind him.

______________________________________________________________

Both the profilers watched a series of emotions run rampant across your face, before you settled on a somewhat displeased smile. “A lot.”

They exchanged a look, and you didn’t have the energy to pretend like you didn’t know what it was.

“Don’t start with me you two. I know profiling. I know what you’re doing. Ask me the questions you want to ask. Don’t try and trick me into giving the answers you want.”

Alvez bit his tongue and looked away, trying to hide a small smile that appeared on his lips.

Emily, on the other hand, hid her smile a bit better than him, but part of being previously engaged to a profiler meant you picked up on some of their tricks too.

She nodded and pulled a file from across the table. “I’m assuming you know the basics since she, uh, is obsessed with Spencer.”

“Glad to see he still has that going for him.” You muttered and looked into the file.

Emily shot Luke a look when he let out a huff or air, trying his damndest not to laugh.

“What is the last thing you know about her?”

You recounted the days leading up to the restaurant, and then the few days after, decidedly stopping short of the engagement breaking off a week later.

They shared another look, and you didn’t enjoy whatever it was that had moved across their faces.

“What? What happened?”

“Y/n..”

“No Emily, I drove from DC to here, I deserve to know what happened. without some weird sugarcoating, alright?”

Emily then begins to explain to you the past four years of Reid’s life. Cat pretending she was pregnant with his kid in prison, kidnapping his mother, framing him for murder in Mexico, going to prison—

“Spencer went to prison and none of you thought to call me….”

“We didn’t think you’d–”

“I’m a fucking criminal defense attorney in DC Emily. Of course I’d want to know if he was arrested, especially internationally. I know that law better than all of you. If someone I knew was kidnapped, I’d call you immediately. Faster than the cops.”

Both of them went silent.

“So is he out?”

They nodded slowly, silently.

“How long was he in there.”

Nothing.

“I asked. How. Long.”

Luke spoke up. “Three months.”

“Jesus christ.” You stood up and started to pace around the room, taking the time you needed to calm down.

Why didn’t Spencer call you—well you knew why Spencer wouldn’t call you.

“Okay so he’s out.” You said finally. “Why am I here?”

“Cat’s execution is coming up, and we….we found out that she’s convinced someone to kidnap some….people…close to Reid, and we knew you’d be on that list for him.”

Your eyebrows went up at people but said nothing of it. Just as you went to say something else, JJ knocked on the door, another blonde woman behind her.

They entered and JJ gave you a small, yet genuine smile.

You returned it, but quickly shifted your gaze onto the woman behind.

Your whole body shifted slightly, into a place of defense, locking your emotions down. You knew all the profilers were watching it happen in real time, which is why Emily walked over and stood next to you, a hand appearing on the small of your back as a comfort.

“Would someone like to tell me what is going on here?” The blonde woman spoke up, arms crossed.

At least Spencer’s taste in partners with attitude hadn’t changed.

______________________________________________________________

“Victimology is off.”

“How so?” Prentiss looked up at him as he walked into the room.

“Father and daughter. She’s never done that before.”

Lewis spoke up. “She usually kills men that remind her of her father. Children–even adult children, are off limits. Do we have an ID yet.”

Prentiss, Rossi, Garcia, and JJ all looked over at Reid, and he just pulled a hand down his face. “It’s. It’s Issac and Noelle Y/l/n.”

“Y/l/n…as is Y/n Y/l/n.” Tara looked up surprised at Spencer.

Reid nodded slowly, just staring at the picture on the projector.

While Luke spoke up. “Who is Y/n Y/l/n.”

“An old friend.” Rossi quickly interjected, before any more explanation had to be said. It was clear both Alvez and Simmons, that whoever this was, was an extremely touchy subject for Reid.

Tara, who had only known you for a little while, looked back at the picture.

Rossie spoke up. “What do we know about the partner who’s helping her?”

“It’s got to be someone from her prison.” Simmons spoke up. “She hasn’t had contact with anyone else.”

______________________________________________________________

After all of that, you found yourself back in a place you left four years ago. It looked almost the same as when you had first moved in, but there was less of it.

Almost as if he was having trouble covering places where things used to be.

There were almost no photos on the walls, since you had taken half of them, and were in the rest.

Calling someone you once loved a stranger feels wrong.

Max, as you had learned her name, was just sitting on the couch in your spot . She was looking around as you and Rossi stood by the kitchen counter.

“Cat had a cellmate named Juliette Weaver. We believe the two were working together, as a way for Cat to get something against Spencer, and as payment, Cat would get Juliette’s ex.”

You nodded. “How does this affect me?”

“She took your father and sister.”

Your back straightened and immediately brought out your phone, to call your sister, but Rossi just grabbed your wrist (gently) and shook his head. “If she finds out you know, then it’s all over. She’s doing this on purpose. She knows about you and Reid, but she knows that dragging you into all of this will hurt him more than anything else.”

His voice had gone low and quiet, so that the girl on the couch couldn’t hear.

“So why is she here?” You whispered back.

“Because we don’t want anyone in danger.”

You closed your eyes and nodded. “I need a cup of tea.”

Rossi let go of your wrist, and you walked into the kitchen, mostly eyes closed from the stress of the situation.

The apartment was silent, the others watching as you grabbed a kettle, and started to make tea. It was like second nature to you as you turned the stovetop on, grabbed a mug from the cabinet (careful to not grab one of his favorites), and grabbed some tea from the cabinet.

It didn’t dawn on you that you were drinking your favorite type of tea until the second sip, while the entire apartment was still silent.

The pity from Rossi's look was palpable.

“Don’t even start.”

He shrugged and stayed silent.

Until his walkie went off and he looked at Max. “It’s time. Let’s go.”

Rossi looked back at you and gave you a quick hug, squeezing you tightly. “You’ve got this kid. Remember everything we talked about.”

You nodded and gave them both a strained smile as they left the apartment, leaving you all alone in this place you once called home, alone.

Never once, since you left, did you think you would ever be back here. You didn’t even realize you were drinking from one of your own mugs until it was just you. The irony of it was not lost on you, and you sat down in your spot on the couch.

Well first you sat in Spencer’s seat but it felt too weird, so you shifted back into your spot on the couch.

______________________________________________________________

“Juliette staked out in Reid’s life. Found out he was dating someone, but then must have discovered his ex-fiancée.” Simmons sighed. “He was probably so focused on Max, he didn’t even realize that someone was digging into his history, following them around.”

Prentiss nodded as they walked and talked. “But if Juliette was able to find Max, that meant she was easily able to find Y/n and her family. It means she must have access to all of her publicly available information. “

“Well at least we found their hidden agenda.”

“No. We found Cat’s hidden agenda. Juliette doesn’t care about Reid. There’s something we’re missing here. Do a deep dive with Garcia.”

Simmons nodded at Prentis. “On it.”

“I’ll go to Reid's apartment and monitor onsite. Is there a trap and trace on his landline?”

“Garcia’s almost set up.” Simmons walked away from Prentiss, and down towards Penelope’s office.

“Well this went from bad to worse.” Tara walked up to Emily.

Emily sighed in agreement.

Lewis spoke up. “Female narcissists destroy their competition.Y/n really shouldn’t be in there.”

Emily just nodded and the two of them headed out of the bullpen. “Walk with me.”

Tara kept stride with her as they pushed through the doors. Rossi was just getting off the phone with someone and turned to look at the two women approaching him and JJ.

JJ spoke up when Rossi was finished. “So, the hospital just released the dad– Issac Y/l/n. He's on his way here now.

Rossi scoffed. “Question is, why let him go at all?”

“Matt's on that.” Emily gestures in the direction of Garcia’s office. “Juliette Weaver's real agenda should tell us where she's taking Y/n’s younger sister.”

Lewis spoke next. “I still think the play here is to get Cat and Juliette to contact each other, but I have no idea how.”

Prentiss crossed her arms. “I have a plan, but first we have to talk about Y/n.”

______________________________________________________________

Just then, you heard the click of the door, and stood up, watching as the door swung open.

And there he was.

This was the first time you had seen Spencer in four years.

And here he was, kissing Catherine Adams.

The woman you could give partial credit to for ending your relationship.

After a moment Spencer looked up, and took several steps away from Cat. His eyes were wide and locked on yours.

It took a lot of self-restraint to not punch the lights out of Cat, and to stand still arms crossed.

“Y/n?” Spencer’s voice broke a little bit.

You never would say that Spencer was unattractive. In fact, it would be a lie if you ever said it. But something about the past four years aged him like a fine wine.

His hair was a bit longer, he had some scruff—his baby face had melted away and standing in front of you was a man who thought you knew everything about, but was now a stranger.

You didn’t answer him, watching as he took you in, standing in his apartment, for the first time since…

“What are you doing here?”

You looked over at Cat, who had the most devious smirk on her face.

Remember what Prentiss had said to you.

“You know why I’m here.”

Cat nodded and the two of them moved into the apartment, the door closing behind them.

Spencer just stood ten feet away from you, eyes never leaving you, and you watched him right back.

Cat, on the other hand, was walking around, examining the apartment. You could see her take notice of the tea you had made yourself on the counter. You could see the hatred from the corner of your eyes. The two of you were starting to piss her off.

She spoke up, after a few moments of silence. “Did it make you mad that I was kissing your Fiancé?”

You shook your head. “No.”

Your focus had fully turned to Cat, but you swore you swore you could hear Spencer take a sharp inhale as you spoke your next words.

“Well, he's not my fiancé and I kind of have some other things on my mind.”

Cat didn’t scare you, but there was just something so off-putting about her. “Like what?”

“Are you gonna hurt Noelle?”

Cat shrugged. “Not if I don't have to, no. Honestly, if she follows instructions, she might even learn from this whole experience.”

You scoffed. “What does that mean?”

Cat just started fiddling with the chess set on the dresser.

“Spencer, what does she mean?” You turned to look back at him, his name feeling so good on your tongue.

Spencer, who really hadn’t stopped looking at you and sighed. “I think…She means that Noelle isn’t learning from her, but from Juliette.”

You sat down in your spot on the couch, arms crossed. You were on the full defense.

Spencer noticed where you sat and had to look down to conceal any notions of a smile on his face.

Cat watched him before turning and looking at you, some more disdain on her face than before.

“Normally, Spencie and I, we spend our time together playing games, but tonight, I've brought you all here to make a point. You are doing so much better.”

Spencer spoke up. “With you?”

“I'm not talking to you.” Cat snapped at him before she turned to you. “I'm talking to you. Because, girlfriend, you need to know the truth about your fiancé.”

“He's not my finacé.” You were unsure about how many more times you could say that outloud.

“No kidding. When’s the last time you spoke? Right…” Cat walked over to the center of the room, right in front of the couch. “Here?”

Your head whipped around to Spencer. “You told her about that?”

Spencer was pleading with his eyes. “I had to say a lot of things tonight.”

Cat’s voice caused your head to snap back to her. “Yes, he has. He said that you never compared to me, that, um... That no matter what, he will never get me out of his mind, unlike you. Unlike that girlfriend.”

You tried not to wince at the mention of that girl Maxine out in one of the trucks.

Spencer sat down next to you. “Everything I said—I was lying to save your family.”

Cat scoffed. “Did our kiss look like a lie?”

“No.” you just looked down at your hands.

“Thank you. See, now we're getting to the heart of the matter.” Cat started mocking Spencer. “You see, everyone thinks that Dr. Spencer Reid is... Is just this nice, bookish, uh, genius who, uh, always saves the day and has all the answers. And has zero mommy issues, right? But, um... I know the real him.”

“Oh, yeah? Who's the real me, Cat?”

“The real Spencer Reid throws women against walls. And hisses that he's going to kill them.”

Spencer stood up, squaring off against her. “That was a very different situation.”

“No, it wasn't.” Cat was holding the smirk back this time, making your gut wretch.

“Spencer…What is she talking about?” You looked from the psychopath in front of you, to the man you realized you might have never really known beside you.

“You tell her. She's not gonna believe it coming from me.” She huffed.

Reid turned and looked at you. “Two years ago, Cat had her partner kidnap my mother. Just like tonight. She got under my skin and…”

Your chest hurts. “And you threw her against a wall?”

Cat’s smirk was breaking through whatever resolve she had. “Don't skimp on the details, Spencie. She deserves to know everything.”

Every single time she said Spencie you swore a shock went up your spine.

Spencer looked down at his hands, and then over at you. His voice had gotten quieter. “She was pregnant at the time and I knew that when I hurt her.”

“And?” She stood there expectantly, waiting for Spencer to finish. When he didn’t, her face suddenly became solemn. “The next day... I miscarried. The end.”

Spencer looked at her. “That's not true.”

“It is most certainly true. Check my medical records.”

“That doesn't mean I-I would…”

Cat held up her hand to him. “Stop. Look.”

Spencer looked over at you, just sitting on the couch, trying to process everything that was going through your head.

After thinking about everything you had gone through, especially with Spencer. “I thought you were better than that Spence.”

It was the first time you had used a nickname for him in years. And he was hearing it for the first time while you were stuck in a standoff between himself and Cat Adams, your sister being god knows where.

Spencer’s voice cracked. “I'm sorry.”

Cat squatted down in front of you, a sick smile on her lips. She was enjoying this. She truly enjoyed watching his life crumble to bits. “Notice how your Spencie is apologizing to you and not me.”

You clenched your hands. “He’s not mine…”

Spencer just looked over at you.

Cat nodded. “That's good. Because men are all the same. Aren't they, Jolie?”

Spencer’s eyes lit up with an emotion you rarely saw from him when you were together. “Don't call her that.”

And you couldn’t blame him. The word ran you through like a spear and you were sure if you looked behind you, the blade would be through the couch. You tried so hard to not let either of the two people near you see how much it messed with you. Luckily for you, Cat was too busy pushing Spencer’s buttons to see the way her words won against you.

Cat hissed at him. “What, are you gonna throw me against a wall and choke me, or do you only do that to pregnant women?”

You finally spoke up. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because I want you to see it.” She gestured to Spencer. “I want you to see that he is...no better than he was before, or any man after. They’re all the same.”

“Stop.”

Cat squatted down in front of you. “I can see it on your face. What's his name?”

You stared back at her. “It's none of your business.”

That damned smirk of hers returned. “It is exactly my business. In fact, it's my specialty. I mean, I could have Juliette and baby sister go over there if you want. They could take care of him.”

Reid looked over at you. “Say yes. Give her what she wants.”

“Hmm. See, he wants you to get me to make a little phone call so they can trace it.” She moved away from you both and sat down in the lounging chair across from you. “They're so good, the FBI.”

You jumped up and started pacing, a spitting image of four years ago. “What is wrong with the two of you? What is this sick, twisted thing that you have? Listen, I just want to save my sister. Will you please just tell me what I have to do to do that?”

“Tell me his name. Tell me the story. That's it. And then if they can let Juliette exit stage right, then I promise you I will let her go.”

You looked between Cat and Spencer before walking over to the kitchen, and hanging up the phone. After staring down at the decision you had just made, you walked back over and took your phone out. “Here. Use this. Use my phone. They can't trace it.”

She just watched you. “You'd be surprised.”

“I don't even need a call. Just... just a photo.” You held the phone out to her. “Something to prove to me that she's still alive. Please”.

Cat just looked up at your face. “Story first.”

“Y/n. Please.” Spencer turned to you, hoping you’d look back at him. “I have been here with her before. She called the number and told the partner to kill my mom.”

“It is so tricky, isn't it? I mean, who are you gonna trust? The lying, cheating, violent psychopath... Or me?”

You looked down at the ground, refusing to look over at Spencer. “His…His name was Mike Davis. We dated for two years. I met him a month after we…we split.”

Cat’s attention on you felt as if there were a million bees stinging your body all at different intervals, pain coursing through your body. “Good. When did it end?”

“Last year.”

“Was he good in bed?”

Spencer stood up. “Shut up.”

Cat was enjoying this. She was enjoying watching you make Spencer uncomfortable. She was enjoying hurting him in every masochistic way she could. “What? You have to know where you stand.”

“He was good…” You looked back at Cat. “Good at, um, separating me from my friends and my family. Enough that the first time he punched me in the face, I didn't have anywhere to go. And my first response wasn't "get out." It wasn't "go to hell." It was "I'm sorry, Mike." That's when he knew he had me.”

There was a glint in Spencer’s eyes, and you could swear they were tears, but you couldn’t tell from rage or sorrow.

Cat continued to probe. “How many hospital visits were there?”

You showed her a small scar on the inside of your elbow. “None. No, he... He knew how to hurt me just enough to hide it all, I guess.”

“But you found the strength to leave. What did you do?”

“ I planned and I... I waited.”

Cat’s eyes lit up. “Waited for what? “

“I live here in D.C.” You looked between Spencer and Cat. “but I'm also a resident in Virginia. It takes 60 days for the permit to clear.”

Spencer’s eyes widened. “Y/n, stop talking. Stop talking right now.”

Cat shushed him. “No, don't stop. Here. Give me the phone. Look, I'm gonna enter the text. Stick the landing and I'll hit "send."

You handed her the phone and she quickly typed out a message, her thumb hovering over send.

Fiddling with your ring finger, you started to speak again. Slowly. Concisely. “When I was ready, I picked a fight. Loud enough for the neighbors to hear. And he came at me with his fist just cocked back, so I pulled my Glock 19 out of my purse. I shot him.”

Spencer tried to interject. “It was self-defense. He was attacking you—”

“That's what I told 911 as he was struggling to breathe on his kitchen floor. That's why the police never charged me. I’m a lawyer, I know how to plead.” You closed your eyes. “But I... after I hung up, I... I shot him two more times.”

Cat was glowing, spinning around to face Spencer. “Wow, you really have a type, don't you? Quite a dilemma, too. She just admitted to murder.”

Spencer was in disbelief. “She'll beat it.” .

“Probably. But whatever feelings she might have still had for you, and whatever Maxine might have seen in you—-it’s all gone.”

The phone in your hand buzzed.

“Oh, wow. Look at that. Your sister. Alive and well. You're welcome.”

Your face hardened up, and you stood up straighter. Walking away from the two of them, you opened the door. “I got it.”

She took the phone from your hand and you turned back to the two of them. There was no emotion behind your eyes as you looked back at Spencer.

Cat smirked and looked up at Spencer. “I win.”

______________________________________________________________

The prison transport was quiet, with the two guards sitting across from Spencer and Cat. It had been silent for about twenty minutes, but then, Cat spoke up.

“Do you know why I did this? Why I really did this?”

Spencer looked down at his hands. “You wanted to prove I'm a monster just like you.”

“No... Silly. I just wanted to see you again. I just wanted to make sure that you would never forget about me.” She sighed. “'Cause when they do put that needle in my arm, I just want there to be even the slightest chance that... Maybe you're still thinking about me…”

Spencer stiffened as she placed her head on his shoulder. “You didn't have to terrorize 3 innocent people. You could've just written a letter.”

“Would you have written me back?”

When Spencer didn’t respond, Cat knew her answer.

“Bye, Spencie. I really enjoyed our date.” She smiled at him desperately, getting dragged out of the vehicle by the guards to the prison.

______________________________________________________________

The elevator door opened and Spencer walked out of it, his whole body reeked of defeat, and he barely looked at Emily as she spoke. “We need to debrief.”

Spencer just walked right past her, and into the bullpen. His expression changed when he saw you on one side talking to Tara, and Max on the other, looking up at him right as he walked in.

“Spencer, are you okay?”

Her voice caught your ear, and immediately you looked up to see her walk over and embrace him in a hug.

He smiled at her, and grateful returned the hug before muttering that he would be back, and explain everything.

You were never going to get back together with Spencer, but watching it in real time was like unlacing an old wound.

Spencer walked over to you, and you stood up as he approached.

“Uh, Tara, would you mind giving us…”

She nodded at him and walked away.

Both of you went to speak, trying to say something to the other.

“I should explain all of this.”

Spencer shook his head. “You don’t have to explain any of that Y/n—it doesn’t.”

You cut him off. “It was fake—most of it. I didn’t kill anyone, Spence. I was just lying to her to get her to send the text from my phone. It was all…It was made up.”

He just nodded, staring at you really.

You gave him a soft smile, and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. Both of you could feel the pulse between it, making you remove your hand and take a small step back.

“Thank you for saving my sister and father.”

Spencer watched your resolve fully formed, masking whatever you were feeling. He hated watching it happen to him, watching as you placed whatever feelings you had back into somewhere he couldn’t find.

Garcia walked over and placed a hand on Spencer’s shoulder. “I just need you both to know, Cat Adams had a miscarriage, but it was months after whatever encounter you had. It’s not your fault. We looked at her records.” She was speaking low for you both, yet both of you let out a quiet sigh of relief.

“They filled me in on everything that happened between both of you in the past couple years, and they asked me if I would be willing to…help them beat her.”

Spencer looked up at you, and unlike yourself, every single emotion Spencer was feeling was racing across his face.

He didn’t like that you knew about everything that had gone down. He was so happy you were okay. He was a little impressed by the way you beat Cat at her own game. He was upset that you put yourself in danger.

“They gave me an ear piece and everything.”

Spencer shook his head. “You’re not trained—that’s extremely dangerous of you.”

You sighed and nodded. “Unfortunately Spencer, this is…this was the life I was used to when we were together. I knew the stakes. I mean the briefings I had with Hotch after you relapsed…”

Spencer just clammed up and stood a bit straighter. “ I never knew..”

“It was like that on purpose. I didn’t want you to think that you were a burden or too much or—I was doing it for the potential of…” You cut yourself of, flinching at the parallels between this and your previous final conversation.

You looked over at Garcia. “I need my bag Pen.” You whispered, taking a step away from Spencer. “I shouldn’t…I finished my job. My family is safe…”

She had a rueful look on her face, but she nodded and took your arm, walking you back over to the desk where your stuff was.

He looked up at Emily and walked over to her. “I’m…uh. I’m gonna go walk her out and then I’ll be right back.”

Emily gave him the saddest smile, and just nodded. She knew that nothing she could say could make it any better.

You grabbed your coat, and your bag, and the two of you walked to the elevator in silence, riding it all the way down to the parking garage, where your car was still there from this afternoon, all of those hours ago.

You looked over at Spencer, tears in your eyes, having not said anything to him.

As soon as he met your eyes, you dropped your bag, and Spencer wrapped his arms around you tightly, just holding you and resting his head on yours; trying to give you the comfort that he was rarely able to give you.

Sobbing into his arms, you just tightly wrapped your arms around his torso and just held onto him tightly. Trying to decompress, trying to truly understand everything that had happened in the past twelve hours.

It was Spencer who spoke first.

“I’m so so sorry Y/n.” He whispered. “I never meant any of this to happen to you, and for you to get dragged back here and—”

You shook your head slightly, but didn’t move from where you were. Neither of you did.

“It’s what she wanted, Spence, and unfortunately for us, this was always bound to happen.” You whispered.

The hug felt so good, but something about it was just so different.

It’s not the way it used to be.

“I need to go Spencer.”

He nodded, and this time you moved away from him. His hand came up and wiped away one of the remaining tears on your cheek.

You closed your eyes, and took a deep breath.

“Oh fuck, why is this so fucking hard four years later.” You laughed, trying to regain any sort of composure.

“Y/n…”

You took another step away from him and shook your head.

“We can’t—I’m not.” You tried so hard to find the right words without bursting into tears again. “Spencer. I cannot put myself back to where I was four years ago. I can’t do it. And yes things have changed, but maybe that is for the better. Maybe you were always meant to be my maybe, and not my always.”

You took another breath, but kept going. “You are amazing, and funny, and so smart Spence. But this…we ran our course. It didn’t work then, and I don’t know if I have it in me to try again just for it to fail.”

“Y/n please.”

“I will always love you but this…It’s time to…It’s time to stop. I have to go back to my life, and you go back upstairs to yours, with Prentiss and Rossi and Penelope and…Max.”

Both of you winced as you said her name, but you took a step forward, moving to kiss him on the cheek.

Spencer gently grabbed you face, giving you enough time to back out.

You didn’t.

His lips locked with yours, his thumb rubbing against your cheek as the two of you shared one more moment, just for the two of you.

But it had to end.

You couldn’t go back to the anxiety, the arguing, the petty disagreements. It wasn’t good for you. It was good for either of you.

Stepping away again, you gently kissed his cheek, and started to slowly walk to your car.

Right as you got to your car, you turned around and made eye contact with him one last time before the elevator doors closed, both of you with the most gut wrenching smile slightly plastered across your faces.

You mouthed goodbye, unable to speak it out loud, and he nodded, tears filling his eyes as he whispered it back to you.

The doors shut.

You were all alone in this hollow parking garage.

Your heart was aching, burning.

But there was a sigh of relief, that came with the doors closing, and saying goodbye for the last, last time.

455 notes · View notes

mononijikayu · 3 months ago

Text

chasing heaven — geto suguru.

“You shouldn’t love me.” he finally said, his voice low, almost pained. “It’s unequal. I would taint your name, your reputation. You’re much younger than me, and you deserve someone who can offer you the future you deserve. I can’t… I’m not looking to marry, not now. I have my duties, my career—” “I don’t care about any of that.” you interrupted, your voice firmer now, driven by the strength of your feelings. “I don’t care about reputation or duty. I only care about you, about what we could have together. I want you to be with me, Suguru. Not as my brother’s general, but as the man I love.”

GENRE: alternate universe - sengoku jidai au!;

WARNING/S: angst, fluff, romance, love, age-gap (reader is in her early 20s, suguru is early 30s), hurt/comfort, nsfw, mild smut, falling in love, friendship, comfort, hurt, pregnancy, sexual intercourse, protectiveness, subsequent marriage, happy ending, depictions of misogyny, depiction of pregnancy, mention of parting, mention of war, mention of misogny, mention of children, mention of seppaku, satoru is an overprotective, loving brother, general-warrior! suguru!, lady gojo! reader;

WORD COUNT: 9k words

NOTE: some of this is a bit inspired by abelard and heloise, who are like one of the most interesting love depictions and intellectuals in history. and bit of the ending came from the outlaw king??? the meeting at the beach??? yeah, we got that in the temple. i wanted to keep this short, but it ended up getting longer and longer and i feel like you're sick of reading long fics. i'll try to do better next time~ anyway, i still hope you enjoy this. i love you!!! <3

masterlist

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•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

YOU THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME. But somehow, it has. In the quiet stillness of the temple, you had grown accustomed to the gentle rhythms of monastic life. The mornings began with the melodic chime of bells, the scent of incense filling the air as you joined the nuns in their prayers. Your world was small, contained within the temple walls, but it was peaceful—a safe haven amidst the chaos of a warring Japan.

But that peace you knew of, in this aloof mountain temple, was shattered the day your brother came.

You had always known of him, the brother who was more myth than man, a legend whispered among the nuns, among servants, among town’s folk who visited the temple. Gojo Satoru, the warrior fighting to bring the country out of disaster, was a name that carried weight even within these sacred walls.

He was the eldest, the one your mother had borne long before the war consumed the land. But you had never met him, had only the faintest memories of a mother who held you close before the temple became your home.

When the day arrived, you were summoned to the temple gate. The nuns had prepared you, dressing you in the finest robes the temple could offer, your hair carefully arranged as befitting the sister of a warrior. They had spoken in hushed tones, reminding you of your duty, of the homage you owed to the man who was your blood, your kin. But you felt a tremor of unease, an uncertainty that gnawed at the edges of your calm.

And then he appeared.

Tall, imposing, with a presence that seemed to command the very air around him, your brother was unlike anyone you had ever seen. His hair, stark white like the snow that capped the mountains, caught the light of the setting sun.

But it was his eyes that struck you most—eyes as clear and bright as the sky itself, filled with a depth that seemed to see through you, to the very core of your being. Just like your own. You had never found anyone that looked like you before. Somehow, you were not alone anymore.

For a moment, you stood frozen, uncertain how to greet him, this man who was both a stranger and your closest kin. But then he smiled, a smile that was warm and reassuring, and something in you eased.

"You’ve grown, little sister." Satoru said, his voice gentle, as though he feared to startle you. "I was worried I wouldn't recognize you. But I suppose….I suppose it would be normal, wouldn’t it? You and I have been apart long before you were born, little one.”

You found your voice, though it came out softer than you intended. "Brother…"

The word felt foreign on your tongue, a title you had never before spoken, but it also felt right, like a missing piece sliding into place. Satoru stepped closer, reaching out to place a hand on your shoulder. His touch was firm, but not unkind.

"You will come and live with me now, hm?" he told you, his tone leaving no room for argument, but there was no harshness in it. Only certainty. “You will not be apart from me again.”

You nodded, the weight of your new reality settling over you. The life you had known, the only life you remembered, was ending. But this was your brother—your family—and though you did not know him, you knew that you owed him your loyalty, your respect.

"Yes, brother." you replied, lowering your gaze in deference.

Satoru squeezed your shoulder, his smile widening just a fraction. "Good. There’s much for us to do, but we’ll manage together, little sister.”

He turned, signaling to the men who had accompanied him, and they began to prepare for the journey. You looked back at the temple, at the nuns who had raised you, their faces serene yet tinged with sadness. They had known this day would come, had prepared you for it, but it was still a farewell, a parting of ways.

As you followed your brother, leaving the temple behind, you felt the weight of the future pressing upon you. You were no longer just the orphaned daughter raised by nuns. You were the sister of Gojo Satoru, a daughter of the Gojo clan and that meant something in this world torn apart by war.

And as you walked beside him, his presence a shield against the unknown, you felt a glimmer of hope that perhaps, in time, you would come to know this brother who had claimed you from the shadows of the temple.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

IT WAS A WHOLE NEW WORLD FOR YOU. But perhaps it was because you had not grown into the life that your brother had been consumed by for years. Yet you were not going to be left behind, that was a promise you made to yourself. You were going to catch up and serve your brother, as destiny had intended for you.

It hadn’t taken long for you to prove your worth in the world your brother had thrust you into. From the moment you had joined Satoru's side, your intelligence shone like a beacon, drawing the attention of those who served him.

You were quick to grasp the intricacies of strategy, the delicate balance of politics, and the subtle art of diplomacy. Satoru, ever perceptive, saw in you the sharp mind that had been honed within the quiet confines of the temple, and he wasted no time in bringing you into his fold.

He did so without hesitation, without shame, despite the murmurs of discontent that rippled through his ranks. You were a woman in a man’s world, but Gojo Satoru was unbothered by such conventions. What mattered was that you were like him, a Gojo. And as such, you had the same power too. Perhaps it was why he trusted you more than anyone, and he made that trust clear by placing you at his side, seeking your counsel in matters great and small.

And so you sat with him, advising him openly in front of his men, your voice carrying the weight of his trust. You spoke with confidence, your mind as sharp as any blade, and Satoru listened, often nodding in agreement before issuing commands that bore your influence. It was a sight that unsettled some of his warriors—men hardened by battle, who found it difficult to reconcile the image of their fierce leader relying on the wisdom of a woman.

But Satoru was adamant. “She is my sister, and I trust her above all.” he would say, and that was that. His word was law, and most of the men knew better than to question him. “Do not make light of my sister. A Gojo is a Gojo, regardless of sex. Do not dishonor me with your pitiful pride.”

However, the day came when your brother had to leave, called away by urgent matters elsewhere in the battlefield. He left you to lead his council in his absence, placing upon your shoulders a great responsibility. “They will listen to you, sister.” he assured you before he departed. “And if they don’t, remind them who you are.”

For a time, it seemed Satoru’s confidence in you was well-placed. You led the council with the same decisiveness and intelligence that had earned you your brother’s trust. Yet, despite your best efforts, there were those who could not look past your gender, who saw your presence at the head of the council as an affront to their honor.

The murmurs of discontent grew louder, the defiance more overt. They spoke over you, dismissed your ideas, and questioned your authority at every turn. It was subtle at first, but it quickly escalated into open disrespect. The council chamber, once a place where your voice had carried weight, became a battleground for your credibility.

You stood your ground, unyielding, but it became clear that your authority was being eroded with every passing day. The men who defied you believed that without your brother’s immediate presence, you could be undermined, your power stripped away.

It was during one of these tense council meetings, as the murmurs of dissent reached a fever pitch, that Geto Suguru intervened. Suguru, your brother’s general and most trusted right hand, had watched the unfolding situation with a quiet intensity.

He had always been a man of few words, but when he spoke, his voice commanded attention. That day, as you stood before a council of men who dared to challenge your authority, Suguru rose from his place, his expression one of stern resolve.

“Enough.”

The single word silenced the room, the weight of his presence alone enough to command respect. He stepped forward, his gaze sweeping across the gathered men, who now shifted uncomfortably under his scrutiny.

“This woman,” Suguru began, his voice calm but edged with steel, “is not just anyone. She is Gojo Satoru’s only sister, and she speaks with his voice. Any defiance of her is a defiance of Satoru himself. And if there is a man among you who believes he can dishonor her without consequence, then he dishonors Gojo Satoru. Such a man should commit seppuku to preserve Satoru’s goodwill with him.”

The room fell into a heavy silence, the implications of Suguru’s words settling over the men like a shroud. You could see the way their expressions shifted, the bravado draining from their faces as the gravity of the situation became clear. To defy you now was not just to defy a woman—it was to defy the very man they served, the man who had led them through countless battles and brought them victories beyond measure.

Suguru’s eyes bore into each of them, leaving no room for doubt. “If there are any among you who wish to test this, step forward now.”

No one moved. The silence stretched on, thick with unspoken tension. Finally, one by one, the men lowered their heads, offering the respect they had withheld before. Suguru’s gaze softened as he turned to you, a subtle nod of reassurance in his eyes. You returned the nod, grateful for his intervention, knowing that his words had restored your authority where it had been threatened.

From that day forward, the council meetings proceeded with the respect you had earned, the respect that Suguru had demanded on your behalf. The men no longer questioned your place at the head of the table, for they knew that to do so was to challenge not just you, but Satoru himself.

And in those moments, as you continued to lead in your brother’s stead, you felt the strength of your bond with him, a bond forged not just by blood, but by the unwavering trust that had brought you to this place of power.

As the council meeting came to an end, the tension that had filled the chamber slowly dissipated. The men dispersed, their heads bowed in respect, a far cry from the defiance they had shown earlier. You remained seated, your hands resting on the table, the weight of the day’s events heavy on your shoulders.

Geto Suguru lingered behind, his presence a comforting anchor amidst the sea of uncertainty. He approached you quietly, his movements deliberate and calm, and as he drew closer, you found yourself exhaling a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding.

“Thank you, my lord.” you said softly, turning to face him. The gratitude in your voice was unmistakable. “Your words... they meant a great deal to me, my lord. I don’t know what I would have done without your support.”

Suguru met your gaze, his expression warm yet composed. “There’s no need to thank me, my lady.” he replied, his tone sincere. “What I did was nothing more than what was necessary. You are Satoru’s sister, and he is like a brother to me. By extension, you are family to me as well. I would do anything for the both of you.”

His words, so simply spoken yet filled with such conviction, touched something deep within you. The bond between Suguru and your brother was well known, but hearing him extend that sense of loyalty and kinship to you was both comforting and humbling. You had not had a true family before. The nuns were kind to you and treated you well. But they were not family. They never will be. BUt maybe, just maybe — Satoru and Suguru could be what family means to you.

“Family…” you echoed, a small smile forming on your lips. “It’s strange to think how quickly that word has come to mean something so new and important in my life.”

Suguru nodded, his eyes holding a gentle understanding. “It’s a powerful thing, family. It binds us in ways that go beyond blood. And now, you’re part of that bond, just as much as anyone else.”

You looked at him, feeling a warmth spread through your chest at his words. For a moment, there was a comfortable silence between you, the kind that only existed when words had already said enough.

A thought crossed your mind, and you spoke before you could second-guess yourself. “Suguru… would you like to share dinner with me before you leave?”

The invitation was simple, but it carried a significance that you hoped he would understand. In this world of shifting alliances and uncertain loyalties, there was something to be said for breaking bread together, for sharing a moment of peace in the midst of so much chaos.

Suguru’s smile widened just a fraction, a rare softness in his usually stoic demeanor. “I would like that very much, my lady.”

The two of you made your way to the dining hall, where a modest meal had been prepared. The setting was humble, far removed from the grand feasts that often accompanied council gatherings, but it was welcoming in its simplicity. The table was set with warm rice, grilled fish, and a selection of seasonal vegetables, along with a pot of fragrant tea.

You took your seats across from each other, and as the first course was served, the tension of the day seemed to melt away. The conversation flowed easily, a mix of light banter and deeper reflection. Suguru spoke of the campaigns he and Satoru had led, the victories and the losses, and you shared your experiences of life in the temple, the wisdom imparted to you by the nuns who had raised you.

As the evening wore on, you found yourself laughing at a story Suguru told about Satoru—how your brother, for all his prowess on the battlefield, had an unfortunate habit of getting lost in the most mundane of places. The image of the great warrior wandering aimlessly in a village square, confused and exasperated, was enough to bring tears of mirth to your eyes.

Suguru chuckled, his own laughter low and warm. “He’d kill me if he knew I told you that, my lady.” he said, shaking his head. “But it’s true. Satoru may be brilliant, but even he has his moments.”

“I’ll keep your secret, my lord.” you promised, still smiling. “It’s good to know he’s human, after all.”

Suguru’s gaze softened, and for a moment, he simply looked at you, his expression thoughtful. “You’re a lot like him, you know?” he said quietly. “Not just in the way you think, but in the way you carry yourself. Satoru may not say it often, but I know he’s proud of you. You’ve come into this world with such strength and grace. It’s no wonder he trusts you so completely.”

His words struck a chord within you, and you felt a swell of emotion that you hadn’t expected. To be compared to your brother, to hear that he was proud of you… it meant more than you could put into words.

“Thank you, my lord Suguru.” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “That means a great deal to me.”

He nodded, and the two of you fell into a companionable silence, content to simply enjoy each other’s presence. The meal continued, and as the last of the dishes were cleared away, you felt a sense of calm settle over you—a feeling that, despite the challenges you faced, you were not alone.

When the evening finally drew to a close, Suguru stood, bowing his head slightly in a gesture of respect. “I should be on my way, my lady.” he said, though there was no rush in his voice. “But I want you to know, if you ever need anything, you can always call on me.”

“I will.” you replied, rising to see him off. “And thank you again, my lord Suguru. For everything.”

He smiled, a small, genuine smile that seemed to light up his features. “Take care, my lady. And remember—family sticks together.”

With that, he turned and made his way out into the night, leaving you with a sense of warmth and a newfound understanding of the ties that bound you to those around you. And you think to yourself that you wanted it to last for the rest of your lives.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

YOU THINK SATORU HAD LEFT SUGURU FOR YOU TO HAVE A FRIEND. Many days and weeks pushed on, but Geto Suguru made it a point to stay by your side.You think that Satoru was smart with such a thing, keeping his trusted sister and friend together. So far, it had worked like a wonder, keeping all the men in line.

And Suguru had been gallant, in trying to appear for each and every session of the council. He knew all too well that in a world dominated by men, your authority could easily be questioned in Satoru’s absence, and he wasn’t about to let that happen.

With Suguru’s steady presence, the council meetings continued to run smoothly, the men now fully aware that any disrespect towards you would not be tolerated. His mere presence was enough to quell any lingering doubts or challenges, and in time, the council began to accept your leadership with the same respect they afforded Satoru.

But it wasn’t just in the council chambers where Suguru’s support made a difference. Beyond the formalities of the politicking in the clan hierarchy, Geto Suguru became your intellectual companion, someone with whom you could share ideas freely. He did not once mock you for your interest in many things, in fact — he encouraged it, with every meeting, with every conversation, he indulged your wants.

The two of you spent countless hours long after council was over, engrossed in discussions that ranged from the teachings of the Buddha to the intricacies of clan politics.

Suguru had a way of making even the most complex topics seem approachable, and you relished every moment spent with him, whether it was delving into the nuances of the emperor’s court, debating the merits of various poems, or considering new ideas for education reform. His intellect challenged you, and you found yourself growing in ways you hadn’t expected.

One evening, as the council hall emptied and the candles flickered in the growing darkness, you lingered in your seat, knowing that Suguru would join you soon. When he did, he settled beside you with a thoughtful expression, his eyes filled with the calm intensity that had become so familiar to you.

"You’ve been quiet today." he remarked, his voice low and steady. "Is something on your mind?"

You glanced at him, feeling the weight of your thoughts but unsure how to express them. "I’ve been thinking about the future," you admitted. "About what happens after the war… after everything settles."

Suguru nodded, understanding your unspoken concerns. "It’s natural to wonder. But the future is not something we can control, only prepare for. And you’ve done more than anyone to prepare our clan for what’s to come."

His words were reassuring, but they didn’t dispel the unease that had settled in your heart. "I just… sometimes I wonder if all these preparations, all these plans, will truly lead to peace. Or if we’re simply paving the way for another conflict."

Suguru considered your words for a moment before replying. "Peace is always fragile. It requires constant vigilance and wisdom. But I believe that with the right leadership—your brother, and perhaps even you—peace can be more than just a fleeting moment. It can be a legacy."

His faith in you was unwavering, and it touched you deeply. "I hope you’re right," you said softly, your gaze dropping to the parchment on the table before you. "But sometimes, I feel like I’m just grasping at straws, trying to make sense of a world that’s constantly changing."

Suguru reached out, gently lifting your chin so that your eyes met his. "You’re doing more than that. You’re shaping that world, guiding it towards something better. And you’re not alone in this. I’m here, and I’ll continue to be here, to support you in any way I can."

His words sent a warmth through you, one that made your heart ache in the most bittersweet way. "Thank you, Suguru," you whispered. "For everything."

A small smile curved his lips, and he withdrew his hand, though his presence remained as steady as ever. "There’s nothing to thank me for. This is what I want to do, for you and for Satoru."

As the night deepened, your conversations continued, flowing from one topic to another with ease. And when Suguru was away, he would always write to you, his letters filled with the same thoughtful insights and challenges. Each letter pushed your boundaries, urging you to think more deeply, to see the world through different lenses.

One day, as you read through one of his letters, you found a passage that made you pause:

"The world is vast, and our understanding of it is limited by the walls we build around ourselves. But if we can break down those walls, if we can push beyond what we think we know, then perhaps we can find something truly extraordinary. It is you whose intelligence I hold dearest and in truth, the person who can do things that would change the world.”

You traced the words with your fingers, feeling the weight of them settle in your chest. Suguru’s challenges were never just intellectual exercises; they were a call to action, a reminder that the world was still full of possibilities, and that you had the power to shape it.

And so, you wrote back, your reply filled with your own questions, your own thoughts, eager to see how he would respond. The correspondence between you became a lifeline, a connection that sustained you both through the trials and tribulations of the war.

Suguru had always been a thoughtful man, deeply reflective and wise beyond his years. His understanding of the world was shaped by both his experiences on the battlefield and his deep respect for philosophical teachings. You found his insights fascinating, often finding yourself lost in the depth of your conversations, which ranged from the practical to the profound.

During those moments, Suguru couldn’t help but notice the way your eyes lit up when you spoke of something you were passionate about, the gentle curve of your smile when you made a point that resonated with him. He had always thought you were beautiful—anyone could see that—but it was your tenacity, your intelligence, and your gentleness that truly captivated him.

You were unlike anyone he had ever met. In you, he saw a rare combination of strength and compassion, a mind that was as sharp as any blade and a heart that was kind and forgiving.

The way you navigated the complexities of your new life, balancing the demands of leadership with the grace and wisdom you had learned at the temple, left him in awe.

Yet, despite the growing admiration he felt for you, Suguru kept those feelings buried deep within. To him, you were someone beyond reach, not because of any external barriers but because of his own sense of unworthiness.

He was a warrior, a man forged in battle and bloodshed, while you were a beacon of light, someone who had been touched by the serenity of the Buddha’s teachings. In his mind, the distance between who you were and who he was could never be bridged.

There were moments when he caught himself lost in thought, watching you as you spoke with that quiet authority, your words shaping the course of decisions that would impact the lives of many.

In those moments, a part of him longed to reach out, to tell you how much he admired you, how much he cared. But he never did. He couldn’t. To him, you deserved someone who was your equal, someone who could match your intellect and your spirit in ways he believed he could never hope to.

So, he stayed by your side, offering his loyalty and his companionship, content to be whatever you needed him to be. He ensured that no one dared to disrespect you, not just because of his loyalty to your brother, but because of the deep respect he had for you as an individual. He became a constant presence in your life, a steady rock in a world that often seemed to shift beneath your feet.

And while you might have seen him as a trusted ally and friend, for Suguru, every moment spent in your company was a reminder of what he could never allow himself to hope for.

You were, in his eyes, someone too precious, too good for a man like him. And so he kept his feelings hidden, choosing instead to honor you in the only way he knew how—by standing by your side, protecting you, and cherishing every conversation, every shared idea, every moment of quiet companionship.

In this way, Suguru made himself an indispensable part of your life, not realizing that his quiet devotion, his unwavering support, and the way he truly saw you for who you were had already made him far more worthy than he could ever imagine.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

YOU WERE GLAD TO KNOW THAT SATORU WAS COMING HOME. The day your brother, Satoru, returned from the front was filled with anticipation. The courtyard was alive with the excited murmurs of those gathered to welcome him home, the air thick with the scent of incense and the rustle of fine silks as the crowd shifted in expectation. Your heartbeat a little faster, not just from the prospect of seeing your brother again, but from the knowledge that he would be pleased with the work you had done in his absence.

As Satoru arrived, tall and imposing in his armor, the crowd parted to allow him passage. His white hair gleamed in the sunlight, and despite the long months of battle, his step was as sure and confident as ever. His gaze swept over the gathered people, but it was your face he sought first. When his eyes found yours, a smile broke across his face, and he quickened his pace to reach you.

Without hesitation, he pulled you into a warm embrace, his laughter rich with relief and pride. "Dearest sister!" he greeted, his voice filled with affection, "I’m home."

You returned his embrace, feeling a wave of emotion at having him back safely. “Welcome home, brother!” you replied, your voice steady, though your heart swelled with joy. “We’ve been waiting for you.”

He pulled back to look at you, his eyes searching yours. “Thank you,” he said earnestly, “for all your hard work on my behalf. I knew I could trust you to lead in my stead, and you’ve done more than I could have ever asked.”

The warmth in his words settled deep within you, a validation of all that you had done in his absence. “I did only what was necessary.” you replied, though the gratitude in your voice was clear.

Satoru turned then, his gaze shifting to Suguru, who stood a respectful distance away. The moment their eyes met, Satoru’s expression softened further, a familiar tenderness evident between the two men.

“Suguru!” Satoru called out, beckoning him forward.

Suguru approached, bowing his head in respect before speaking. “Welcome home, Satoru. I’m glad to see you returned safely.”

Satoru’s smile broadened, and he clasped Suguru’s shoulder in a gesture of deep friendship. “Thank you, Suguru, for being a confidant to my sister during this time. I can’t tell you how much it means to me to know she wasn’t alone.”

Suguru shook his head, his expression as composed as ever. “It is nothing but a great duty to fulfill for my vassal lord and friend,” he said, his tone formal and deferential.

But Satoru frowned at that, his grip on Suguru’s shoulder tightening slightly. “Don’t be so formal with me, Suguru,” he chided, though his tone was light. “You know better than that. You’re more than just a vassal. You’re my brother in arms, my friend. And you’ve done more for me and my sister than I could ever repay.”

Suguru’s gaze flickered with something unreadable, but he quickly schooled his expression. “I appreciate your words, Satoru.” he replied quietly. “But my duty calls me back to the front. I must return soon.”

Satoru’s frown deepened, and he shook his head, refusing to let go of Suguru’s shoulder. “No, I won’t hear of it!” he insisted. “You’ve been at the front longer than anyone. You need rest, and I won’t have you running off the moment you’ve set foot here. Stay as long as you can. That’s an order.”

Suguru hesitated, clearly torn between his sense of duty and his loyalty to Satoru. But seeing the determination in your brother’s eyes, he finally nodded. “If that is your order, Satoru, then I will stay.”

“Good.” Satoru said, his tone firm but kind. “That’s settled then. You’ll stay here with us, and you’ll take the time you need to rest and recover. The front will still be there when you’re ready to return.”

As Suguru accepted the command, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief. Having Suguru stay, even for a little longer, was something you hadn’t realized you’d wanted until now. He had become an important part of your life in your brother’s absence, and the thought of him leaving so soon after Satoru’s return had left you with an unexpected emptiness.

Satoru, ever perceptive, caught the fleeting look on your face and smiled knowingly. “You see, sister?” he said, turning to you. “I’ve managed to keep our dear Suguru here for a little longer. We all need him here, not just on the battlefield.”

You smiled, grateful for Satoru’s understanding, and nodded. “Yes, we do. Thank you, brother.”

With the matter settled, the three of you made your way into the inner chambers, where preparations had been made for a private celebration of Satoru’s return. The atmosphere was light, filled with laughter and the shared relief of being together once more. As you sat together, the bonds of family and friendship felt stronger than ever, and for that moment, the weight of the world outside seemed to fade away.

As the weeks passed, you found yourself spending more and more time with Suguru. The bond between you deepened, the trust and respect that had grown in your brother's absence now blossoming into something more complex, something that you couldn’t quite name but felt deeply. Suguru was older, wiser, and had seen so much more of the world than you had, but there was a connection between you that transcended those differences. Slowly but surely, you realized that you were becoming enthralled by your feelings for him.

Despite the age difference, despite his steadfast focus on his career and his role as your brother’s most trusted general, you couldn’t help the way your heart quickened when you were near him. Suguru, ever the composed and duty-bound man, never gave any indication that he was aware of your feelings. He was kind, respectful, and treated you as an equal in your discussions, but there was always a certain distance, a formality that he maintained, even in the quiet moments you shared.

One evening, after the council had ended and the palace had settled into the calm of the night, you found yourself wandering through the lily gardens with Suguru. The moon was full, casting a soft, silvery light over the still waters of the pond and the delicate white lilies that floated on its surface.

The air was cool, a gentle breeze stirring the leaves of the nearby trees. It was a serene, almost otherworldly setting, perfect for the conversations you often found yourselves having under the cover of darkness.

As you walked side by side, your footsteps soft on the stone path, you spoke of the future. Of what might come after the war, when the battles were over, and the land was finally at peace. You talked of the things you wanted to do—small, simple things like traveling to the nearby villages, visiting the temples you had only heard of in stories, and seeing the world beyond the palace walls.

Suguru listened, his expression thoughtful as always, but there was a trace of something in his eyes that made your heart ache—a longing that mirrored your own, though he would never voice it.

But tonight, there was something more pressing on your mind, something that had been weighing on you ever since your brother had returned from the front. After a pause in your conversation, you gathered your courage and spoke, your voice soft yet firm. “Suguru… Satoru has begun to find a husband for me.”

Suguru stopped walking, turning to face you. His expression didn’t change, but you saw the subtle tension in his posture, the way his hands clenched slightly at his sides. “It’s what’s best, my lady.” he replied after a moment, his tone carefully neutral. “A marriage to form alliances would strengthen your brother’s position and secure your future.”

You shook your head, the words catching in your throat. “I don’t see it that way,” you admitted, your voice trembling with the emotions you could no longer contain. “Because… I’ve fallen in love with you, Suguru.”

For a moment, there was silence. The world around you seemed to still, the only sound the gentle rustling of the lilies in the breeze. Suguru’s expression didn’t change, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes—surprise, perhaps, or maybe something deeper, something he had kept hidden for a long time.

“I don’t care about any of that.” you interrupted, your voice firmer now, driven by the strength of your feelings. “I don’t care about reputation or duty. I only care about you, about what we could have together. I want you to be with me, Suguru. Not as my brother’s general, but as the man I love.”

Suguru looked at you then, really looked at you, as if seeing you for the first time. There was a deep conflict in his eyes, a battle between his sense of duty and the emotions he had tried so hard to suppress. He took a step closer, and for a moment, you thought he might reach out to you, might take your hand or pull you into his arms. But he stopped himself, his hands curling into fists at his sides.

“I’m not worthy of you, my lady.” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’m just a soldier, a man who has done terrible things in the name of duty. You deserve someone who can give you the life you’ve dreamed of, someone who can stand beside you in the light, not someone who is forever tainted by the darkness of war.”

Your heart ached at his words, at the pain you could hear beneath them. But you refused to accept them. “I don’t want someone else.” you said, taking a step closer to him, closing the distance between you. “I want you, Suguru. I don’t care about the past or what you think you deserve. I know who you are, and I love you for it. Please… don’t push me away.”

Suguru’s resolve seemed to falter then, his purple eyes closing as if trying to block out the reality of your words. He was silent for a long moment, the only sound the distant chirping of crickets and the soft rustle of the wind in the trees. When he finally spoke, his voice was raw with emotion. “I don’t want to hurt you, my lady.” he said, opening his eyes to meet yours. “But I’m afraid I already have.”

You shook your head, tears gathering in your eyes. “You haven’t, my lord.” you insisted. “But you will if you walk away from me now.”

Suguru looked at you, his expression filled with a sorrow that you hadn’t seen before. He took a deep breath, and when he spoke again, his voice was softer, resigned. “If I stay, if I allow myself to feel this way about you, it won’t be easy. There will be challenges, people who will try to tear us apart. Your brother might not even approve…”

“I don’t care, my lord….Suguru.” you said, stepping even closer, so that you were only a breath away from him. “I’ll face whatever comes if it means being with you.”

Suguru looked at you for a long moment, his purple eyes searching for yours, as if trying to find the strength to say what he needed to say. Finally, he reached out, his hand gently cupping your cheek. His touch was hesitant, as if he was afraid to break you, but you leaned into it, closing your eyes as you felt the warmth of his skin against yours.

“I wish I could be the man you deserve.” he murmured, his voice filled with a quiet despair. “But if you’re willing to take this risk, then I won’t let you face it alone.”

You opened your eyes, looking up at him with a mix of relief and determination. “I am willing, Suguru.” you said softly, your heart full of the love you had for him. “As long as you’re by my side.”

Suguru nodded, his thumb brushing gently against your cheek. “Then I’ll stay, for you.” he said, his voice firm with resolve. “And I’ll do everything I can to protect you, to make this work… even if it means defying everything I thought I knew.”

With those words, you knew that the bond between you had changed, deepened in ways that neither of you could have anticipated. The future was uncertain, the challenges ahead daunting, but for now, in the quiet of the lily garden under the moonlit sky, you had each other. And that, you knew, was more than enough.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

THE MORE YOU WERE TOGETHER, THE MORE YOU FELL FOR HIM. And along with the flow of time, the boundaries between you blurred until they disappeared entirely. What began as stolen moments in the lily gardens turned into lingering touches, soft words whispered in the dark, and eventually, the first tentative kiss. That kiss led to another, and then another, until you both could no longer deny the passion that had ignited between you.

Geto Suguru, ever the restrained and disciplined man, tried to keep his distance, to maintain the boundaries that he believed were necessary. But you could see the way he struggled, the way his resolve weakened whenever you were near. And you, in turn, found yourself growing more insatiable for him, drawn to his quiet strength, his intellect, and the gentleness that he showed only to you.

It wasn’t long before your relationship became intimate. The nights you spent together were filled with whispered confessions, tender caresses, and the kind of closeness that left you breathless, yearning for more. Each touch, each shared moment, only deepened the bond between you, until it became something undeniable, something that you couldn’t hide, even if you tried.

Suguru’s movements were rhythmic and deliberate, each thrust a testament to the intensity of his feelings. Your body responded instinctively, shivering under the persistent wave of pleasure that seemed to emanate from every part of him. The connection between you both was palpable, a perfect union of touch and desire that left you breathless and yearning.

As he pressed closer, the heat between you became almost unbearable. You could feel every inch of him, his length moving with a purposeful glide that seemed to match the cadence of your own heartbeats. His focus was unwavering, his gaze locked onto your expressions of bliss, as if he were memorizing each fleeting moment of your shared ecstasy.

Suguru’s lips were gentle yet insistent, trailing a path of fiery kisses along your skin. He started at your jawline, moving down to your neck, where his kisses became more fervent, brushing against the sensitive spots that made you moan uncontrollably. His touch was a mix of tenderness and passion, each kiss a silent declaration of his love.

The way his lips traveled over your shoulder blades and collarbone, down to your breasts, was both reverent and adoring. He seemed to savor every inch of you, each kiss a testament to his longing and his desire to make you feel cherished and adored. His breathing grew ragged, his desire for you as evident as the ardent affection in his kisses.

Suguru’s love was consuming, a powerful force that seemed to envelope you both in a cocoon of heat and intimacy. His movements were a dance of devotion, each motion and kiss an expression of his deep-seated love. He wanted to give you everything, to love you with a passion that knew no bounds, until either of you could bear the intensity any longer.

Suguru’s senses were overwhelmed by the intense heat enveloping him. Each time he pulled back, he felt the burning warmth of your inner flesh clinging to him, a tantalizing reminder of the connection you shared. The contrast between the cool air and the searing heat of your body created a heightened sense of urgency, making every moment even more electric.

He withdrew momentarily, the emptiness only intensifying his need to be reunited with you. His breath came in ragged bursts, a mixture of frustration and desire fueling his movements. When he finally pressed back into you, it was with a force that spoke of his longing and the sheer intensity of his passion.

Suguru’s hands gripped your hips firmly, guiding and angling them to better meet his thrusts. His movements were decisive and powerful, each push and pull a testament to his deep-seated desire. The rhythm he established was relentless, his member driving into you with a raw, unrestrained energy. Every thrust was accompanied by a shudder of pleasure, both from him and you, as the heat between you built to a fervent crescendo.

His focus was entirely on you, the way your body responded to him, the way you felt around him. The sound of your moans and the look of sheer pleasure on your face drove him to new heights, his need to be with you, to feel this connection, only growing stronger with each passing second.

But as much as you tried to keep your relationship a secret from your brother, it wasn’t long before the truth could no longer be hidden. The realization came with a sudden, undeniable clarity: you were pregnant.

The days following that intense night were filled with a mix of excitement and anticipation. As you navigated through your routine, you began to notice subtle changes in your body. What started as a vague sense of nausea and fatigue soon became more pronounced, prompting you to a conclusion.

The morning understood what was going on, a whirlwind of emotions took over you. You stared at yourself and then your belly, your heart pounding in your chest. Fear and excitement warred within you as you grappled with the reality of your situation.

You were carrying Suguru’s child, a life born from the love that you shared, but also a secret that could change everything. You knew that your brother, Satoru, would not take the news lightly. He had always been protective of you, and this… this would be seen as a betrayal.

The day your brother discovered the truth was etched into your memory with vivid, painful clarity. You had dreaded this moment, knowing that the inevitable confrontation would come, but nothing could have fully prepared you for the storm that followed.

The atmosphere was thick with tension as you stood in the living room, your heart racing. Satoru stormed in, his eyes blazing with a mix of fury and hurt that made your stomach churn. His usually calm demeanor was shattered, replaced by an intensity that you had never seen before. He had sensed something was wrong for weeks, and the truth had hit him like a sledgehammer.

“Who is he?” Satoru’s voice was a harsh whisper, laced with a barely contained rage. His eyes locked onto you, his gaze piercing through you as if trying to unravel the truth hidden within your silence.

"Brother, please...."

“Who’s the father?” His demand echoed through the room, each word sharp and accusatory, slicing through the fragile veneer of your composure.

The weight of his anger was suffocating. You stood there, feeling small and vulnerable, your hands trembling at your sides. The emotional turmoil inside you was overwhelming, a tangled mess of guilt, fear, and sorrow. You wanted to explain, to find the right words to make him understand, but the sheer intensity of the moment left you paralyzed.

Suguru, who had been silently supporting you, stepped forward, his own face a mask of regret and determination. He had been waiting for this confrontation, knowing that it was his responsibility to face the consequences of their actions. With a deep breath, he took the weight of the situation onto his shoulders.

“Satoru,” he began, his voice steady but tinged with a sorrowful undertone, “I’m the father.”

The revelation hung in the air, heavy and oppressive. Satoru’s expression shifted from anger to disbelief, and then to a deeper pain that seemed to cut through his very core. The anger that had once burned so fiercely now gave way to a profound sense of betrayal and heartbreak. His eyes, usually so full of warmth and understanding, were now clouded with tears that he fought to hold back.

Suguru’s admission was met with a silence that was almost unbearable. The tension in the room was palpable, each of you waiting for the other to break the silence. You could see the struggle in Satoru’s face as he tried to process the reality of the situation, the hurt and confusion evident in every line of his expression.

“I never thought...” Satoru’s voice faltered, his anger giving way to a raw, aching sadness. He looked between you and Suguru, his emotions a turbulent sea of conflicting feelings. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why keep this from me?”

Suguru’s gaze was steady, but his heart was breaking as he met Satoru’s eyes. “I didn’t want to hurt you, Satoru.” he said softly. “But I know that’s no excuse. I’m sorry.”

“You do not have to worry.” Suguru said, his voice steady despite the tension in the air. He met Satoru’s gaze head-on, not flinching even as the anger in your brother’s eyes intensified. “It was not planned….But I take full responsibility, Satoru. Please.”

Satoru’s reaction was immediate and explosive. “You’re supposed to be my most trusted general, my friend, and you… you’ve done this? With my sister? And you didn’t marry her?”

Suguru’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t back down. “I never intended to disrespect you or your family. I care for her deeply, and I will do what is right.”

The words only seemed to fuel Satoru’s rage. “You should have done what was right from the start! How could you let this happen, Suguru? How could you—”

“I didn’t need to marry him.” you interrupted, your voice shaking as you tried to step between them, to defuse the situation before it spiraled out of control. “I love him, Satoru. We love each other, and I don’t need a marriage to prove that.”

But your words only seemed to make things worse. Satoru turned to you, his expression a mix of frustration and disbelief. “You don’t understand what this means, how it looks. If you’re with child and not married, it could ruin everything. Our alliances, our reputation—everything we’ve fought for…..”

Suguru placed a hand on your shoulder, his touch grounding you even as the storm of emotions swirled around you. “I will marry her, Satoru.” he said firmly, his voice calm but resolute. “You don’t have to worry about shame. We will marry and no one will know.”

Satoru stared at Suguru for a long moment, his chest rising and falling with the force of his emotions. It was clear that he was torn, caught between his duty to his family and his loyalty to Suguru. Finally, he let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair.

“I have no other choice about this.” he said, his voice heavy with resignation. “If you’re going to marry her, then you need to do it soon. We’ll make the arrangements, and you’ll stand before everyone and make this right.”

Suguru nodded, his grip on your shoulder tightening slightly as if to reassure you. “I will. You have my word.”

You looked up at Suguru, your heart full of a mixture of love, relief, and anxiety for what lay ahead. This wasn’t how you had imagined things would unfold, but you knew that as long as you had him by your side, you could face whatever challenges came your way. And so, with a heavy but hopeful heart, you took a deep breath and prepared to face the future together.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

YOU NEVER EXPECTED ALL OF THIS, BUT LIFE IS STRANGE. And perhaps you were now more resigned to it than ever before. The day of your wedding to Suguru was both solemn and beautiful, a ceremony that cemented not only your love but also your shared commitment to the future.

Despite the circumstances that led to it, the vows you exchanged were heartfelt, and as you stood beside him, you felt a deep sense of belonging, knowing that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you would face them together.

Suguru remained by your side through the remainder of your pregnancy, refusing to leave even as the war called to him. He was there for every moment, every kick, and every anxious night as you awaited the arrival of your children. When the day finally came, and you bore twin daughters, his joy was immeasurable. He held you close, kissed your forehead, and whispered his gratitude for the family you had given him.

The day Suguru had to return to the battlefield was a poignant reminder of the harsh realities that overshadowed your time together. As the sun began to set, casting long shadows across the room, the reality of his departure loomed heavily over both of you. The weight of impending separation was unbearable, each moment stretching painfully as the hour of his departure drew nearer.

You found yourself clinging to him, your grip firm yet trembling, as tears streamed down your cheeks. Every part of you ached with the fear and sadness of watching him leave for another dangerous mission. His presence had become your sanctuary, and the thought of him stepping back into the chaos of war was almost too much to bear. Your sobs were muffled against his chest, the fabric of his uniform a stark reminder of the danger he faced.

Suguru’s hands were gentle as he reached up to wipe away your tears. His touch was tender, yet firm, as if he were trying to transfer some of his strength to you. His own eyes were filled with a sorrowful resolve, the weight of the duty he was about to undertake clear in every line of his face. Despite his bravery and determination, it was evident that leaving you behind was a painful sacrifice.

As he held you, his gaze shifted to the cot where your daughters, Mimiko and Nanako, slept peacefully. Their innocent faces were serene, their small bodies rising and falling with the rhythm of sleep. Suguru’s heart ached at the sight of them, his love for them and the desire to protect them a palpable force. His eyes lingered on them, a silent vow passing between him and their slumbering forms—a promise to return safely, to be there for them and you.

"I don’t want to leave you." he murmured, his voice thick with emotion as he held you close, feeling the warmth of your daughters swaddled in his arms. “All three of you.”

"I know that." you whispered back, your voice breaking. "But you must. For Satoru, for our peace… But promise me, Suguru, that you'll take care of my brother. Bring him back to us. And…And come back to us too. Please."

"I promise, my love." he vowed, his voice steady despite the turmoil inside him. "I will protect him with my life, just as I will protect our family. I will come back to you, I swear."

The parting was an agonizing ordeal, each moment stretching into an eternity as you watched Suguru ride away. With your daughters, Mimiko and Nanako, nestled in your arms, you felt the weight of the world press heavily upon your heart. The sight of him disappearing into the distance, framed by the setting sun, was a poignant reminder of the uncertainty that lay ahead. As the last glimpse of him vanished, you could only hold your children tighter, whispering prayers for his safety and for a swift end to the unrelenting war.

Days turned into months, and months into years, each passing moment a relentless reminder of the ongoing conflict. The once-familiar rhythm of life had been disrupted, replaced by an enduring wait for peace. The world outside was fraught with turmoil, but within the sanctuary of the temple where your journey with Suguru had begun, you found a semblance of tranquility.

Returning to the temple was a return to roots, a place of peace amidst the chaos of the world. It was where you had first found solace and a sense of purpose alongside Suguru, and now it became a refuge for you and your daughters. The temple's serene environment provided a safe haven where you could nurture them, shielding them from the harsh realities of the outside world.

Every corner of the temple held echoes of the past—memories of quiet moments shared with Suguru, of dreams and plans woven together in the tranquil surroundings. It was a place that had once symbolized new beginnings, and now it served as a testament to endurance and hope.

As you raised your daughters in this sanctuary, you immersed yourself in the rhythms of temple life, finding comfort in its routines and in the community that embraced you. You taught them the values and lessons that had been so important to you and Suguru, hoping to instill in them the same strength and resilience that had guided you through these challenging years.

The temple, with its tranquil gardens and reverent halls, became a living monument to your waiting, a symbol of the enduring love that bound you to Suguru. Every day was a step closer to the dream of seeing the land united and your husband safely returned to you. Until that day came, you held onto the hope that peace would prevail and that your family would be whole once more.

In the stillness of the temple, surrounded by the quiet hum of prayer and the gentle presence of your daughters, you found a sense of purpose and patience. Your love for Suguru remained a guiding light, illuminating the path through the darkness of uncertainty and keeping the promise of reunion alive in your heart.

Years passed, and news of the Gojo clan's victory spread across the land and peace was finally achieved. The land was finally unified, and the long years of war had come to an end. You clung to the hope that with this victory, Your Suguru would return to you, that the promise he made would finally be fulfilled.

And then, one day, as you stood at the steps of the temple, you saw him. Geto Suguru, looking weary yet strong, with the weight of years and battle etched into his features. He stood there, gazing at you with eyes full of longing and love, and you felt your heart leap in your chest.

Without hesitation, you ran to him, your daughters' voices calling after you, but you couldn’t stop. The world seemed to blur around you as you crossed the distance between you and the man you had been waiting for all these years. When you finally reached him, you threw yourself into his arms, holding him as tightly as you could, as if to make up for all the time you had spent apart.

"Welcome home, my love." you whispered, your voice thick with tears, your face buried in his chest. The scent of him, the feel of his arms around you, it was all so familiar, so comforting, that it felt like a dream.

Suguru held you close, his embrace fierce and full of the love he had carried with him through every battle, every hardship. "I’m home, my dear." he murmured into your hair, his voice choking with emotion. "I’m finally home."

Your daughters, now old enough to understand the significance of the moment, stood a little ways off, watching with wide eyes as their father returned to them. You turned to them, beckoning them forward, and they ran to join the embrace, their laughter and tears mingling with your own.

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sabertoothwalrus · 8 months ago

Note

I’ve seen you post some labru stuff and I’m curious what your thoughts on it are. personally I don’t see it? I can buy Kabru having feelings for Laios, but I think Laios wouldn’t be interested in Kabru, so it makes me wonder why so many people ship them. (Tbh I feel like Kabru has more chemistry with Mithrun anyway)

Sorry if this ask sounds rude, I just genuinely don’t understand the appeal of the ship, but I want to understand and I trust your analysis of characters very much :] maybe there’s something I’m missing

I really like both ships, actually!

For labru, there’s sooooo much I could talk about. The inherent homoeroticism of being narrative foils. The inherent homoeroticism of being the king’s advisor. All of chapter 76. The fact that Kabru has mask upon mask upon mask, and Laios is the first person that made his facade absolutely crumble.

Kabru struggles with being genuine!!! Everything he says and does is so perfectly calculated, even when he sort of means it. But since Laios doesn’t get social cues, Kabru gets thrown for a loop.

I get so frustrated when people act like Kabru still hates Laios by the end of the manga!!!!! He killed those corpse retrievers for being corrupt, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to kill Laios. He has such a strong sense of justice, and knew that killing Laios would be a mistake. Because, after meeting him, he could tell he wasn’t actually evil. He’s strange, sure, but not evil.

Kabru DEFINITELY wants to be friends with Laios!! He was not lying about this!!!

But this last comic shows how much Laios wants to be friends with Kabru, too. He’s so nervous after calling Kabru his friend 😭 he doesn’t want to be presumptuous and fuck it up again.

Laios does show an interest in Kabru, at least when Laios thinks he’s interested in eating monsters too. Like,, what was up with THIS

Laios’s gaze is LINGERING. Plus, (this is before that bit at Thistle’s house when he forgets his name) he brings up Kabru when they first form their plan to eat Falin.

And maybe this is just because of my own personal experiences, but Laios reminds me a lot of my own girlfriend. I think they have a similar flavor of gay/aspec & autism combo where, had I not asked her out first, she probably never would have considered being interested in me. But she was very down when I did.

The tricky part about labru is more the political aspect. Regardless of whether you see Laios as aroace or not, he’s in a situation where he will probably get married. He had a fiancée before he was age 13, likely betrothed since he was a baby. He’s already comfortable with the idea of getting married because He’s Supposed To.

However, Laios is king, and could make gay marriage legal if he wanted to (He would probably do this for his sister and Marcille before considering it for himself ). But at the same time, I think Kabru would object to Laios making whatever policies he wants without considering the repercussions of how other kingdoms might react, especially when they’re just getting Melini off the ground and need lots of support from other countries. Laios and Kabru getting gay married anyway and dealing with the aftermath could make for a really compelling story.

I do think Kabru would be a good ruler. He’s already fit for it. He speaks a dozen languages, he knows people and their motivations, and likes politics. The manga already joked about Chilchuck’s daughters trying to marry a king, so it seems like noble blood isn’t too important, but Kabru’s foster family IS nobility. When it comes to heirs, I do like trans Kabru headcanons, but at the same time, I think it’d be cute if they adopt anyway. Kabru seems like he’d have strong feelings about adoption given,,, yknow.

The alternative version of labru to this is Laios gets straight married out of obligation, and Kabru is his mistress hdhdhshsj. I don’t know if I could see Laios doing that? or if Kabru would risk the scandal of being outed as Royal Advisor and Regent trying to seduce the king. It could go SO downhill. but maybe that would be fun.

NOW FOR KABUMISU.

I knew people shipped them, and I could see the basis for it while reading, but I wasn’t really sold on it until the very end. There’s something about “I had no desires left. I decided to create new desires, and one of them is you” that’s really charming.

There’s also something funny about “the demon ate my heterosexuality so I’m gay now”

I think it’s interesting that Kabru hates elves. He was raised by them, and he hates them. He hates feeling patronized by them. He made absolutely sure that elves wouldn’t take control over Melini, not just for his sake, but for Rin’s.

But Mithrun’s interactions with Kabru are founded on more mutual respect. Though, that’s not to say that Mithrun doesn’t still have his biases towards short lived races..

Where Laios doesn’t understand social cues, Mithrun does but just doesn’t care. For that reason, I think Kabru would enjoy spending time with Mithrun. It’d give him a break from his compulsion to calculate all of his social interactions. But at the same time, Kabru is the KING at bottling his emotions. Mithrun is blunt, but also doesn’t care enough to pry. If Kabru had anything bothering him, I could imagine him seeking Mithrun’s company to avoid thinking about it. Could make for a fun dynamic.

I do think it’s funny that Milsiril 1) took care of Mithrun for potentially 20 years and 2) is only four years older than him. I imagine this could lead to funny situations.

I don’t ship things for no reason! I think both of these could work platonically, romantically, one-sided, or even “requited but they don’t do anything about it.” Their relationships compel me and I think it’s sort of bad faith to brush off either like they’re nothing more than baseless yaoi pair-the-spares. To me, I see just as much of a foundation in the source material as farcille.

After all, dungeon meshi isn’t a story about romance, but it IS a story about love. It’s a story about life and death and grief and the love that comes with it. Regardless of shipping, these characters love each other!!! And I love talking about it!!

#long post #dungeon meshi #laios touden #kabru #mithrun #labru #kabumisu #dungeon meshi spoilers #photos

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winterdaphne2 · 5 months ago

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Favorite Johnlock Fics (BBC Sherlock)

I went on a bit of a fic-reading spree this spring, and this list of favorites is the result! There are many other fics that I’ve enjoyed reading, but these are the ones that I’ve really loved for one reason or another.

I’ve tagged the authors whose tumblrs I could find. If that’s you, thank you so much for sharing your writing with us. If your work is on here, you wrote something that I really treasure.

1. A River Without Banks, by Chryse. E, 203,286 words. Starts right after Season 3. A mix of Sherlock’s perspective, John’s perspective, and the perspectives of other characters. Sherlock-focused for the first half.

Author’s summary: “‘You love this, being Sherlock Holmes.’ He had once. When had it all gone so wrong?”

This is my absolute favorite. The author’s characterization of Sherlock is amazingly accurate, and Sherlock’s character development over the course of the story is breathtakingly executed and moving. The plot is fantastic and takes you on a page-turning emotional roller coaster, especially for about the first half of the story. I was also continually impressed by how many details from the show and references to earlier parts of the fic the author was able to weave in throughout while still keeping the story creative and original. Most importantly, though, I love this fic for the message that it sends about Sherlock and John’s love, which is a far more positive message than the one that the actual show settled upon in the end. I’m grateful that we have this version of their love story, and, personally, I like to pretend that this was Season 4 and how the show ended.

2. Another Country, by Chryse. E, 67,414 words. Starts right after the end of TAB. Sherlock’s perspective.

Sherlock spends one month and three days under house arrest in 221B, trying to get clean from the drugs, track down the new Moriarty, and figure out what the hell is going on between him and John.

Another fantastic work by Chryse. This author really gets Sherlock’s character, and once again the characterization of Sherlock is spot-on and convincing. There are a few other elements that also make this a compelling story, including smart use of minor characters, a solid central mystery, and a complicated relationship between Sherlock and John that includes a pretty convincing post-Season-3 version of John. Excellent.

3. walk through ghosts, by @augustbird. M, 6,125 words. Written between Seasons 2 and 3. Sherlock’s perspective.

Author’s summary: “The thing is: Sherlock thought that the two of them would have forever to figure it out.”

This is the saddest fic I have ever read, and so beautifully written. The author captures Season 2 Sherlock’s character perfectly; the fact that this story feels so real is what makes it devastating. The day after I read this, I couldn’t stop thinking about it and walked around with my heart physically aching in my chest.

4. Nature and Nurture, by @earlgreytea68. M, 203,273 words. Set sometime after Season 2. Alternates between John’s and Sherlock’s perspectives, but mostly told from John’s.

The British government clones Sherlock. He and John decide to raise the baby.

A true fandom classic. The premise sounds super cracky, but somehow it really works. This fic is surprisingly serious at times, but overall it is the cutest and funniest thing I have ever read in my life. Basically 200,000+ words of Sherlock and John being adorable gay fathers together and working through some feelings, with line-by-line some of the most hilarious dialogue ever. The five accompanying ficlets that the author wrote as short follow-ups are also worth checking out; my favorites were School (T, 4,753 words) and The Radovljica Apicultural Museum (T, 4,540 words).

5. To a Friend Who Sent Me Roses, by @algyswinburne. E, 16,147 words. Set sometime after Season 4 (but ignores TFP, as we all should lol). Sherlock’s perspective.

Author’s summary: “Five times Sherlock is mistaken for John’s partner and Rosie’s father, and one time it isn’t a mistake.”

This fic is sad, sweet, and hot by turns. Absolutely lovely to read in so many ways, and with so many great details and lines. I think this story offers convincing portrayals of what Sherlock’s and John’s characters might be like after it all and how they might finally get together. This and A River Without Banks are my favorite alternate endings to the show. Beautiful!

6. for all that bitter delights will sour, by @darcylindbergh. E, 9,585 words. Set sometime after Season 3. Sherlock’s perspective.

John initiates a sexually and emotionally abusive relationship with Sherlock.

The second saddest fic I have read. I would never want what happens in this fic to happen to Sherlock and John, so I don’t exactly recommend it as a Johnlock fic. But as a short story, this is a gem, full of absolutely gorgeous and incredibly moving writing. It depicts difficult themes very deftly, in lines and paragraphs that I had to stop to read over and over. I appreciate this as an emotionally powerful and thought-provoking piece of writing inspired by Sherlock, so for that reason I think it deserves to be on this list.

7. The Ground Beneath Your Feet, by Chryse. E, 68,803 words. Set after Season 3, but as if the last two minutes of HLV never happened. “The plane went on to Eastern Europe, and this is what came after.” John’s perspective.

This fic is pretty dark; the author describes it as “a PTSD story in which John was wholly devoted to Sherlock.” I don’t love it quite as much as the other two fics by Chryse that I’ve listed here, but that’s mostly because those two are just so amazing! I still really enjoyed this one. It was wonderful to see a kind and caring version of John emerge out of Season 3, and the story had several memorable moments, including one particularly nail-biting scene. I also really liked seeing John and Mycroft become friends as they bonded over their shared concern for Sherlock.

8. The Adventures of a Single Girl in London (Plus a Consulting Detective), by @earlgreytea68. M, 32,913 words. Set soon after Season 3. Alternates between different characters’ perspectives.

Bored with life at her new cottage in Sussex, Janine returns to London and moves in with Sherlock at 221B. Hilarity, heartbreak, and eventual Johnlock ensue.

This is a Season 3 fix-it fic that features an absolutely lovely friendship between Sherlock and Janine and the best version of Janine that I’ve come across in a fic. Sherlock is vulnerable and sweet, John is an absolute idiot, Janine is perfect, and the last two chapters just make me scream. Great stuff.

And that’s it for now! If you know of any other fics that I might like based on the above, I’d be happy to hear about them, so drop me a line!

Happy reading 😊

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ghostxrose · 8 months ago

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𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆'𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑫𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝒐𝒇 𝑷𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝑴𝒊𝒏𝒅 | 𝑩𝒂𝒌𝒖𝒈𝒐 𝑲𝒂𝒕𝒔𝒖𝒌𝒊 𝒙 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

Summary ~ For three years your life was great, then Katsuki said nine little words. Nine simple words. One singular sentence. And everything that happened after those nine fucking words were spoken? Absolute Hell.

Tags/Warnings ~ MDNI, some non-descript NSFW content, Fem!Reader, some fluff, on a scale we're lookin at mostly hurt accompanied by a little bit of comfort, heavy angst, angst w/a happy ending tho, potentially triggering situations, mild description of injuries, !alternate ending- read note for info please!, idk what else to tag just comment if there's anything else <3

Note ~ Hey Lovelies, soo this fic is going to be long and it's going to be angstyyy. The word count is 16,667 words without the alternate ending, so buckle in, Lovelies! And just remember, I swear to you that this idea started out a lot smaller and a lot fluffier in my head. The plot just took over and churned out this monstrosity.

Now, onto addressing the alternate ending.. I think it's technically more of an extended ending that will crush your soul if you choose to read it. Do with that what you will, just know that I warned you. I put it below the second image divider, under the A/N..

Happy reading, My Lovelies! <3

Maybe it was meant to be or maybe it wasn’t. You knew the parameters of his job, his still-budding career, his dream. You knew why your relationship was kept a secret from everyone. You had both agreed to keep it hidden and you were even happy about it. You enjoyed the privacy of it all.. No one butting in with opinions or teasing comments. No risks of having your daily life plastered all over various media. No threats upon your life from vengeful villains. It was just you and Katsuki living your best lives together, until..

“I’m goin’ on a mission out of the country.”

Those had been the first words out of Katsuki’s mouth when he had finally decided to break the brooding silence that he had been exercising since he stepped foot into your shared apartment.

He had gotten home from work, taken his shoes off, and went straight to your guys’ bedroom without uttering a single word to you. It had been mostly uncharacteristic of him, but you had just brushed it off as him having had a rough day and let it be. When he had finally chosen to speak, you were both halfway through the dinner you had made.

Your chopsticks had clattered to the table as something paralyzing and numbing had taken over your body. You had looked over at him, your eyes glassy and your hands shaking. Shock, fear, anger, and sadness had slammed into you like a brick wall and made everything heart-breakingly surreal. He was staring down at his plate, refusing to look at you, but his jaw was clenched and his hand had tightened around his chopsticks.

“Look, ya know that this-” he had begun to argue, begun to try to defend himself and his job, but you had cut him off.

“When do you leave?” You had asked in a voice that was far more calm and controlled than you had ever thought was possible in a moment like that.

It was then that his eyes had widened slightly and he met your gaze, his features softening a bit when he had noticed the barely contained tears that had built up on your lash lines.

“Two days.” He had stated in a quiet tone and a bit of guilt in his eyes.

“F-for ho-how long?” You had stuttered out as your poorly held together composure crumbled.

He was quiet for a moment, eyes roaming your face and taking you in, before he spoke again, “A year. Could be shorter, could be longer.”

You could tell that he was a bit surprised that neither of you were yelling or fighting about it, yet. But he also knew that you had always been someone who never let things get to that point, nor had you ever aided in his fuse blowing. You had always been his calm, his quiet, his serenity.

You had quietly nodded your head as you took in the information and attempted to process. You were mentally going over everything you both would have to do to prepare for his departure when he had spoken up, yet again.

“I,” he had started, albeit abnormally hesitantly, before continuing, “I don’t want you to wait for me.”

Your entire world had shattered, caught fire, fucking exploded, in that moment and you snapped.

“What the actual fuck are you talking about, Katsuki?” You questioned, your voice raised and harsh.

Katsuki had visibly winced before hardening his expression and body language. In the three years that you and him had been together you had never raised your voice at him let alone ever said his name like that. His face had shifted into a heated glare, something that he was very much familiar with.

“You fuckin’ heard me, Y/N! I don’t need you mopin’ around this place just fuckin’ waitin’ to see if I’ll message you or even return home! I- I’m cuttin’ you free! Free to do whatever the fuck you want! Free to party! Free to go out with whoever you want! Free to fuck whoever you want!” He had viciously spat out, his voice raised to a shout by the end of his explanation.

Your brain had stopped working as horrified shock had taken over your features and tears had flowed down your face. You were only knocked back into reality when Katsuki had slammed his fist down on the table as curses flew from his mouth.

“Do.. how.. You truly think so low of me?” You had asked, your voice quieted by immense hurt and disbelief. “You truly believe that I wouldn’t be able to handle you being away? That I would let myself just sit here in our apartment and rot?! You truly believe that I would want to be with or fuck anyone else?! Jesus fucking Christ, Katsuki! Do the last three fucking years not exist?! Do you not fucking know me at all?!” You had shouted back at him, your voice cracking and raw.

You had shattered completely after shouting, your face in your hands as gut-wrenching sobs tore from your mouth. A metallic tang on your tongue with every harsh exhale had told you just how much your vocal cords had suffered. It had felt like you were choking as you sat there trying to wrap your head around what the hell was going on.

“Kirishima and Mina will be here tomorrow to help get my stuff. They’re going to store it for me until I get back. I’ve already taken my name off of the lease, but paid for the next six months’ rent. I..” Katsuki had paused for a moment, his disconnected tone wavering ever-so-slightly before he cleared his throat. “This is what needs to happen, Y/N.” He had said with emotionless finality.

That had broken you even more, something you had thought impossible at the time, and overwhelming nausea had slammed into you. You had bolted from the table and barely made it to the bathroom before what little you had eaten at dinner made its reappearance. You had locked yourself in that bathroom for the rest of the night. Katsuki hadn’t knocked, hadn’t called out to you to see if you were okay. You had caught the few times he had lingered outside of the door, but he had just walked away silently each time.

That was four months ago.

Now, you do anything you can to not be in that godforsaken apartment that he had left you in.

Every time you’re there, memories of the day he left shred you into nothing. Flashbacks of numbly sitting on the couch watching him gather the small amount of items he had left in the apartment and placing them by the door. Flashbacks of watching him make his coffee and eat in silence. Flashbacks of shivering from the devastating cold that had settled into your bones, no matter the amount of layers you had thrown on. Flashbacks of him not looking at you once as he put his shoes on, picked up his bags, and left without uttering a single fucking word.

The click of the door shutting is an echo that haunts and breaks you every single time you step foot in that place.

So now you spend your nights at friends’ houses or in hotels. You throw yourself into working or meaningless tasks. You fill all of your freetime with hobby after hobby. You do absolutely anything and everything you can because if you stop for one fucking second, then all of your thoughts go back to him.

Is this what he wanted for you?

You know about and pointedly ignore worries thrown your way. You dismiss the questions from friends and family about your sudden change in pace and mental state.

“Are you alright, Y/N?”

“Why are you working yourself so hard?”

“What are you constantly rushing around for?”

“Are you sleeping okay? Those dark circles are a bit concerning..”

“Has something happened?”

“Y/N, are you doing okay?”

Are you doing okay?

You force your happy facade back into place as you look at your reflection in the doors of the elevator. Ignoring all of the physical signs of you not being okay, you paint a smile on your face when you hear the ding alerting you of your arrival to the requested floor. Freshly baked goodies in hand, you step out of the elevator, your eyes searching for the door number you want. Finally seeing and getting up to the aforementioned door, you take a deep breath and knock. It takes a moment or two, but eventually the door opens.

“Hey, Izuku! I had some time and thought I’d drop by to give you these!” You greet cheerfully, holding up the bags of baked goods. “There’s, uhm, there’s.. Shit, what did I make, again..” You fumble and look down into the bags to remember what all you had baked.

Your memory comes back to you and with a triumphant grin, you look back up at Izuku, “Right! There’s some mochi, chocolate chunk cookies, uhm, red bean-”

“Y/N,” Izuku says your name softly, but in a way that feels offending-ly like pity and your words come to a dead-stop.

“Please don’t speak to me like that.” You quietly grit out, your hands gripping the handles of the bags tightly as your eyes fall to the floor, your stare boring holes into Izuku’s socked feet.

A sigh is exhaled through Izuku’s nose before he reaches out and gently grabs your shoulder, bringing you into his apartment. You let him guide you inside, your facade cracking a bit and letting your heavier emotions through to slump your body language. The door clicks shut behind you and you unintentionally flinch at the soft noise. Scarred hands come into your vision and gently take the bags from your still clenched ones.

Izuku is one of the only people who knows about your.. situation, other than Kirishima and Mina. You hate that anyone knows, but you especially hate that Izuku knows. You hate it because the only reason he knows is due to the letter that Katsuki had delivered to him the day he left. The letter that Izuku refuses to let you read. The letter that your green-haired friend refuses to even talk about with you any more than it stated to look after you.

The day Katsuki had left, Izuku had shown up not long after the blonde had closed the door. Izuku had let himself in using the key, Katsuki’s key, that had been in the envelope with the letter. You hadn’t moved from your spot on the couch. The green-haired hero had found you just sitting there staring at the wall with tears dripping from your face.

It was Izuku who had cleaned up Katsuki’s mess. It was Izuku who had quietly found a washcloth and dampened it, then used it to gently wipe your face. It was Izuku who had forced you to eat buttered toast and drink some water. It was Izuku who had sat there in the blaring silence with you until you ultimately passed out from the exhaustion of it all.

“Y/N,” Izuku calls your name softly, once again, bringing you back to the present. You look up to see him holding the bags you have yet to let go of with a small, albeit sad, smile.

“You can let go of these now, thank you.” He says gently as he slowly pulls the bags further toward himself. With a small nod, you finally relinquish your grasp on the bags. A slightly stuttered breath leaves your lungs before you straighten up and paint a smile on your face.

“My bad, sorry about that!” You say with a huff of forced laughter.

“Have you eaten today?” Izuku asks with a knowing tone as he makes his way to his kitchen. Your jaw clenches out of irritation and it’s only made worse when a sharp pang from your stomach hits.

“I have.” You lie, kicking off your shoes and moving to follow him, ignoring the way your body trembles slightly and how the room spins a bit when you move too fast.

“Well, I was just about to make dinner. How about you join me?” Izuku says, his question coming out as more of a statement even with the cheery lilt of his voice.

“I would love to but I’ve got, ya know, some stuff to do still, so-” You ramble out as you back-track toward your shoes and the door. You cut yourself off when you feel a warm static wrapping around your wrist and you stop walking. Looking down, you see a tendril of Blackwhip gently pulling you back toward the kitchen and you let out an irritated huff.

“Sit down for a bit, Y/N. How does katsudon sound?” Izuku’s annoyingly kind voice asks as another tendril of Blackwhip pulls out a chair for you.

With a tired sigh, you plop yourself down into the chair and grumble out, “Sounds good.”

𖤛 𖤛 𖤛

Izuku listens closely for a few moments, standing at his cracked bedroom door. When he doesn’t hear anything more than the electrical humming of the apartment, he closes the door as quietly as he can. He makes his way to his bed and grabs his phone off of the nightstand, turning it on and navigating through apps.

After going through the extensive security process of the HPSC Communications app, he pulls up Katsuki’s file. Getting to the call function, Izuku presses it with almost no hesitation, then brings the phone up to his ear.

“The fuck are ya risking a call for, Nerd?” Katsuki’s agitated tone demands when the call connects after a few rings.

“Hello to you too, Kacchan.” Izuku says quietly while rolling his eyes.

“Cut the fuckin’ pleasantries, Izuku. You already know these damn calls can’t be long. Also, why the fuck are you whispering?” Katsuki, once again, demands. Though, he sounds more tired now than anything else.

“Y/N came by today, ended up crashing here for the night. Hopefully, she’s sleeping but I don’t want to risk her hearing me talking to you..” Izuku quietly explains, wincing slightly at how bluntly it all came out. Silence fills the call at the mention of you and Izuku tries to suppress his frustrations with his childhood friend.

“She’s.. she’s not doing well, Kacchan. If her physical state is anything to go off of, she’s losing it. She’s lost more weight, the bags under her eyes could pass as bruises, her mental stability is practically nonexistent-” Izuku says, diving into his reason for calling when he’s cut off.

“Goddammit, Izuku! The fuck do you want me to do?! I can’t come home! Not that I think that it would help any! Every fucking ‘update’ you give me does nothing! I know what I did was shitty! I know that! But I can’t do anything to change or fix things right now, so what the hell do you want from me?!” Katsuki shouts from his end of the call making Izuku wince and hold the phone away from his ear.

Sighing heavily at Katsuki’s angered breathing coming through the speaker, Izuku defeatedly replies, “You told me to give you updates, Kacchan, and I’m doing that. I don’t know what you should do with the information I give you and I know how you feel about what you did. I.. I’m just worried about her.”

Izuku runs a hand through his hair, letting out another sigh before continuing, “If she keeps going like this.. she’s going to-”

“Don’t.” Katsuki speaks up, his voice quiet and shaking slightly. “Don’t finish that fucking sentence, please Izuku. I can’t.. If she.. Just, don’t.”

“I’m sorry, Kacchan.. Obviously, I’m going to keep doing my best to keep an eye on her, but.. I can only do so much.” Izuku says quietly, defeat and helplessness churning his mind.

“I know, Nerd.. thanks.” Katsuki grumbles out, but his gratitude is still felt by Izuku.

“So, how’s the mission going?” Izuku asks awkwardly, changing the subject.

𖤛 𖤛 𖤛

You wake up the next morning, taking a few moments to gaze around the room you’re in and remember where you are. Rolling onto your back, you yawn as you take in the familiarity of the guest room of Izuku’s apartment. You’ve spent more than a few nights (and days) in this room within the last four months, so much so that some of your clothes take up space in the closet. You hate feeling like you’re imposing on Izuku every time you spend the night, but you are eternally grateful for his friendship.

Letting out a sigh, you stare blankly up at the ceiling as a cold, numbing feeling sinks into your body. You don’t want to move. You don’t want to exhaust yourself anymore by pretending to be okay. You just want to lay in bed and rot. But you can’t because that’s what Katsuki expected you to do and you can’t let him be right.

Ignoring the beginning ache of a headache from crying multiple times throughout the night, you heave your body out of the bed. Slowly, you shuffle your way to the bathroom and try, very desperately, to find the energy to put together your facade of happiness. The smell of food cooking floats through the air and a small, appreciative smile pulls at your lips.

Finishing up your business in the bathroom, you make your way to the kitchen. You find Izuku humming quietly as he scoops rice into two separate bowls. Also spotting two steaming bowls of miso soup, you feel your stomach rumble a bit.

“Good morning, Izuku!” You greet happily as you walk up next to him.

“Oh, good morning, Y/N! I was actually about to come see if you were awake yet! You have good timing!” Izuku says with a warm smile as he hands you a bowl of rice and a bowl of soup.

“Woke up a few minutes ago,” you lie, not wanting to talk about the thirty minutes you spent mentally rotting. “Thanks for breakfast!” You say with a smile as you seat yourself at the island.

“Of course!” Izuku says with his signature smile as he sits next to you. “Any plans for the day?” He asks after a few bites of food.

You internally sigh, trying to conjure up a list of to-do’s to keep your day off from work as busy as it can be, “Uhm, I have to stop by the grocery store since I used up a lot of ingredients making a bunch of baked goods.. Akari is in for quite a surprise when they open their fridge if they haven’t already..” You say with a bit of nervous laughter.

“Ah, you’ve been staying with them, lately? How are they doing?” Izuku asks politely, though underneath, he’s still concerned that you refuse to stay in your own apartment.

“They’re doing well.. but, I think that they’re getting a bit, uhm, overwhelmed by my various hobbies, haha..” You say with a tinge of guilt as you nervously stir your soup.

Izuku sends you a reassuring smile, “I’m sure they would let you know if they were feeling overwhelmed. You know.. You still have your own apartment-”

“Izuku. You know that I just can’t-”

“Just hear me out, Y/N. I know that it still causes you pain being back there, but maybe it’ll help heal you if you go back and take the place back as your own.” Izuku advises, his tone calm yet slightly pleading. “Buy yourself some plants, rearrange the furniture, paint the walls, do something to make it different than when Katsuki was there. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but you’ve barely been there over the last few months. Realistically, you either need to start living there again or break the lease before you have to start paying rent again.” He finishes with a look of worry on his face.

You go deathly quiet, just staring intensely down at your food as your hand grips your spoon. You know that he’s right and that he would never try to hurt you by bringing up Katsuki.. But that doesn’t keep the pain in your chest from spreading. You let out a shaky sigh, your appetite completely disappearing, and you stand to clear your place.

“I should really change and head out, but thank you, Izuku. I’ll message you later.” You say stoically as you rinse your dishes, then leave the kitchen.

Getting back to the guest room you change quickly and gather your stuff. You fix up the guest room, taking the time to bring the bedding to the laundry room and put it in the washing machine. Finally, you head for the door to put your shoes on and Izuku hovers near you, guilt written all over his face.

“You can stop acting like a kicked puppy, Izuku,” you sigh out as you straighten up from tying your shoes. “I know you meant well earlier and I.. I’ll think about what you said, okay? I appreciate you caring about me at all in the first place.” You finish softly and step forward to hug him.

Izuku lets out a relieved breath and wraps his arms around you, “I’m still sorry for being so.. blunt earlier. I just worry about you, that’s all. I don’t have any siblings but after getting to know you over the last four months, you’re like a sister to me. I’m here for you whenever you need, okay?” He says softly, then kisses the top of your head.

You nod against him, emotion clogging your throat, and give him one last squeeze before you both release each other. You shoot him a wobbly smile before you open the door and step out into the hall, making your way to the elevator.

A few hours later, you’ve restocked your friend’s fridge and pantry with all of the items you used up while manically baking. They told you that you didn’t have to, but there was no way you weren’t going to replace it all when they’ve been letting you live at their house for the last week and a half. Eventually, they ask if you’ll be staying again tonight but you shake your head and thank them for being so amazing to you. With that, you gather up all of your stuff and pack it into your car before getting into the driver’s seat.

‘Izuku was right. I need to do this. I need to do it tonight before I have the chance to overthink myself out of it.’ You state to yourself as you start your car. You drive in silence the whole way to your apartment, your grip on the steering wheel white-knuckled.

Once you get to your apartment complex, your white-knuckled grip transfers from your steering wheel to your bags as you grab them from the trunk of your car. Your body trembles and your mind goes distant as you ride the elevator up to your apartment. Your stomach sinks and your heart begins to race as the elevator ascends. Finally, it stops and the doors open to the floor that you are so painfully familiar with. Your keys nearly fall from your sweaty hand as your trembles increase with each step toward your door.

The sound of them hitting the floor doesn’t register in your brain as you walk up to your cracked-open apartment door. Your bags join your keys on the floor as you, admittedly stupidly, push open the door. Reality slams back into your blank mind when your eyes meet those of some stranger who's standing in your living room. Fear pours over you like a bucket of ice water and you just fucking freeze.

Suddenly, pain explodes from the back of your head, your thoughts of what you should fucking do disappearing before any sort of move could be made, and everything fades to black.

𖤛 𖤛 𖤛

Izuku checks his phone for what feels like the millionth time today and frowns at the lack of notifications from you. With a frustrated and concerned huff, he stuffs his phone back into his pocket.

“You’ve been checking your phone all patrol, bro. Everything okay?” Kirishima asks from beside Izuku.

Izuku wasn’t supposed to work today, but a hero never truly has a day off and he was called in to cover Mina’s patrol slot with Kirishima.

Izuku runs a hand through his hair, “I haven’t heard from Y/N all day. She crashed at my place last night and left this morning after I had basically told her to go back home to her apartment and try moving on with her life. I had apologized before she left and she didn’t seem mad, but even if she was she would have messaged me by now. On top of all of that, I have this weird pit in my stomach and danger sense won’t leave me alone and I don’t know what to make of it-”

“Woah, bro, okay calm down. Tell you what, let’s finish up our patrol, then I’ll come with you to check up on her. Where’s she staying this time?” Kirishima calmly, and a bit concernedly, plans out after cutting off Izuku’s panicked ramble.

“She mentioned this morning that she’s been staying with Akari, lately. Hopefully, she’s still at their place.” Izuku mumbles out distractedly as he checks his phone, yet again.

“Okay, we’ll go straight to their apartment once we finish up at the agency.” Kirishima says with a pit of worry starting to churn in his own stomach.

The pair rush through their end-of-shift tasks once they get back to the agency and soon they are seated in Kirishima’s car heading for Akari’s apartment. While giving directions from the passenger seat, Izuku texts and calls your phone, getting met with no answers each time. His stress and worry levels only increase with each missed call and he can only pray that you’re sleeping.

They pull into the parking lot of your friend’s apartment complex, Kirishima barely locking his car before Izuku is rushing off. The pair of heroes get up to the door of Akari’s apartment, Izuku knocking as politely as he can in his increasing panic. When the door finally opens, it’s only a confused Akari standing there wondering where the hell the fire is.

Akari tells the two heroes that you had packed up all of your stuff and left hours ago. Izuku’s stomach drops at this new piece of information and his mind jumps to worst case scenarios. His biggest fear is that you returned to your apartment, decided that it was all too much, and did something to yourself. A rational fear given your severe mental instability the last few months, but still an overly terrifying thought. As Izuku and Kirishima get back into the red-heads car, Izuku mentally berates himself for not accompanying, or at the very least getting ahold of you, earlier.

Kirishima speeds through traffic, his grip on the steering wheel near crushing. He feels extremely guilty for not keeping up with you as much as he should have since Katsuki left. He just figured that you wouldn’t want to talk to him because of his part in the whole situation with him holding onto Katsuki’s things. He’s mostly been getting updates on your well-being from Izuku, an admittedly cowardly move from the man who loves to preach about “manliness.”

Kirishima shoves down his guilt and worry driven nausea as he weaves his car through traffic. He’s just as worried as Izuku over the thought that you’ve done something to yourself. He isn’t sure how he’d ever be able to look Izuku, or Katsuki, in the eye again if they find you injured or dead in that apartment. He would never be able to forgive himself for playing a part in your pain.

“Eijiro! Are you coming or not?!” Izuku’s frustrated voice breaks Kirishima from his clouded mind, the red-head just now registering that they’ve arrived at your apartment complex. The two rush through the lobby of the complex and anxiously wait for the elevator to bring them to the floor your apartment is on.

The doors open and they barrel out of the elevator, practically running for your door. Izuku gets to it first and stops dead in his tracks when he finds your door wide open. Barely stepping through the doorway the green-haired hero spots the small pool of blood on the floor and his emotions surge through him.

“Damn it!” He shouts in frustrated anguish as he steps over it to search the rest of the apartment.

Kirishima follows behind him, stomach acid burning at the back of his throat. Neither of them find any other trace of you beside your bags haphazardly tossed aside on the floor. It’s Kirishima that notices first that there is stuff missing from the apartment. He grabs Izuku by the shoulders and shakes him a bit to get him focused, Izuku growling and about to go off when he sees the look in Kirishima’s eyes.

“Don’t touch anything else.” Kirishima states ominously. “Izuku.. This.. this is a crime scene.” The red-head finishes with a sad look in his eyes and Izuku’s entire being goes numb.

𖤛 𖤛 𖤛

When consciousness comes back to you it’s slow and everything is blurry. Your head aches badly, your body feels heavy in its forced sitting position, and there’s something in your mouth. Your vision clears for the most part, aside from the slight spinning of the room if you shift your eyes too fast, and what you see makes your panic spike up painfully.

Firstly, you’re tied to a chair in the middle of a dimly lit room, possibly in some sort of abandoned building. There’s a man off to your left sitting at what seems to be an old desk and another man, a bit further to the right of the room, at the doorway. The man at the desk is clicking through files of a laptop, seemingly searching for something. It’s only when the man briefly goes to the main desktop screen that you realize it’s your laptop, the background being a photo of you and Katsuki together. Your stomach lurches and your heart sinks as a whimper escapes you, muffled by the gag in your mouth.

Your whimper catches the attention of both men and both of them look at you with smiles filled with malicious intent. Tears of fear prick at your eyes as the one at the desk tells the other to “go get Boss” and takes a tablet from his hands. A tablet that you realize is also yours judging by the customized Dynamight themed case.

The throbbing coming from the back of your skull gets worse as your breaths increase and you cry harder. You aren’t sure what they could be looking for on your laptop and tablet, you’ve always been extremely careful in burying any information that pertains to Katsuki’s job. Files tucked away within the depths of technology, locked up with passwords you’ve long forgotten and encrypted.

“So the princess woke up, huh?” A taunting voice startles you out of your thoughts and you watch a tall man enter the room with the man who was guarding the door following behind him. You mask your fear by glaring at the man as he casually strides up to you with a smirk on his face.

“Come now, princess, don’t be like that. Such an ugly look on such a pretty face.” The man coos out, condescending and sickeningly sweet.

You curse him out but your voice is once again muffled by the gag in your mouth. The man simply laughs at you as he pulls up a chair, its metal legs scraping harshly against the old laminate flooring. You cringe at the noise but manage to maintain your glare as the man sits down in front of you. His elbows rest on his knees, his hands clasping together around a phone and he leans forward to rest his chin on the top edge of it. His eyes look over your form as a twisted smile sits on his face.

“So you’re the great Dynamight’s secret little bitch.” The man states, not questions, but states. Your heart rate picks up and your glare falters slightly, making the man’s smile widen.

“I can see why he kept you so well hidden! You’re a real looker, ain'tcha? Smile so sweet it’s nearly tooth-rotting,” he continues, but now he’s opened the phone and is scrolling through picture after picture of you and Katsuki. Your glare crumbles completely as tears begin flowing from your eyes from both fear and pain over your past. Your eyes fall to your lap and your jaw clenches against the thick fabric in your mouth as you cry.

“God, where are my manners? Here I am telling a lady about how pretty she is and I haven’t even introduced myself! I’m terribly sorry, Y/N! My name is Isamu, but you may know me as Shadow Step.” Isamu- Shadow Step says with a sinister smirk and your body goes shock-still. Memories hit your pounding brain and bile rises in the back of your throat.

Shadow Step was a notorious human trafficker that would get his victims by getting them alone then using his Quirk to take them away. Once he was captured, it was discovered that his Quirk was teleporting through shadows, which was why he only struck at night. Katsuki was the leader of the team that finally took down Shadow Step and his operation. That was only a year ago, so how the hell is he back out on the streets?

“You know, you really played your part well in making all of this come full circle, princess. We were already planning on hunting you down after what we discovered at your apartment, but then you just showed up! Served yourself up to us on a golden platter! It’s honestly laughable how well things played out!” Shadow Step says with maniacal cheer, a slightly deranged laugh falling from his lips.

“Anyway, princess, you’re gunna help us with a little project. Nothing too crazy, just a little video to help bring your favorite little hero out of the shadows. Keishi, Reiji, get the princess dolled up for her role while I get the camera set up.” Shadow Step says more seriously as he stands up before ordering his two lackeys around.

One of them pulls Shadow Step’s chair away as the other roughly tugs down the gag from your mouth. Your body begins trembling and you hate how useless your Quirk is at this moment. It’s a low-level, and admittedly weak, nature-type Quirk; Vine Manipulation. You can only use it if there are vine-type plants near you and even then you can’t do anything substantial with the vines.

The two men, Keishi and Reiji, stand in front of you wearing twin sinister and sick smiles. Looking up at their faces, you’ve never felt fear like this before. Never felt such an overwhelming sense of impending doom and dread.

“Ready for your makeover, bitch?” One of them asks right before slapping you, hard. You cry out in pain, the side of your face tingling and on fire, echoes of the slap and your cry ringing out in the room.

The two take turns delivering blow after blow, ignoring your pleas to stop and your depserate cries for help. By the time Shadow Step tells them to stop your cheek has swelled up as well as one of your eyes. Blood drips from your lips while more runs down your face from the split skin above one of your eyebrows. You’re pretty sure they broke at least a couple of your ribs if the sharp pains every time you breathe are anything to go by. Tears still spill from your eyes, mixing with your blood and creating pinks rivulets that trail down your cheeks, chin, and neck.

You’re on the verge of passing out from all of the pain when Shadow Step bends down and makes himself face level with you, “I gotta say, princess, you look a lot prettier like this. You ready for your time on the big screen?”

You let out a pained and pathetic whimper that he merely chuckles at, “Your job is to just sit here and be quiet. You fail to do that and you really won’t like what happens. Got it, princess?” He says, his tone threatening and deadly. You nod weakly, whimpering when he pats your cheek a bit harder than necessary.

Shadow Step turns toward the camera, stepping up to it so that his body blocks yours out in the viewfinder screen of the camera. He motions for one of his goons to hit record and his little show begins.

“This is a message for the Heroes of our society,” Shadow Step begins in a calm, even tone with an easy smile on his face.

“I am looking for Pro Hero Dynamight, he and I have a little score to settle. I’ve come to understand that he is on a mission out of the country right now, so I need the rest of you little Heroes to help get this message to him. If he isn’t back by the end of the week, then I’ll kill the little number sitting behind me.” He states as he steps back to reveal your tied up and beaten form in the viewfinder.

“Who knew Dynamight had himself a girlfriend, I’m sure none of you did! Poor thing has been so scared since I brought her here, but as you can see I’ve been treatin’ her real well! Anyway, enough theatrics,” Shadow Step says, his face turning serious and his tone dropping low and threatening.

He pulls a gun out from behind his back and points it at you while his face is turned to the camera, “If you don’t think I’m being serious about this, then you’re dead wrong. You have four days, Dynamight.” He states in a deadly tone before pulling the trigger.

A scream tears from your throat before you could stop it as white-hot flames of pain flood your body. Your left shoulder jerks as the bullet pierces through it and your vision nearly blackens out. You dry heave and choke on cries of immense pain as the camera zooms in on your form, unbeknownst to you. You barely hear the dark laughter falling from the mouths of the three men over the ringing of your ears and your consciousness, along with your body, gives out plunging you into cold darkness.

𖤛 𖤛 𖤛

The video ends, the final frame being a zoomed-in image of you slumped over unconscious in the chair you’re tied to, blood already soaking the fabric of your shirt. The silence in the room is suffocating and Izuku has to consciously fight to rein in his rage. The fleeting thought of just how to tell Katsuki about this crosses his mind before his attention is brought back to the meeting.

“As was stated earlier, the video was posted a couple of hours ago. We don’t have any leads yet on where the location of filming was nor just how exactly Shadow Step managed to escape imprisonment. It has also not been confirmed as to whether or not the girl has any connection to Dynamight-” A HPSC representative explains before being cut off.

“Her name is Y/N L/N. She is Kacch- Dynamight’s girlfriend. They kept their relationship a secret because they feared something like this happening. Even if she was just a civilian without a connection to Kacch- Dynamight, she would still be just as much a priority rescue.” Izuku grits out, the rage-filled look on his face daring the HPSC rep to say anything countering his statement.

Instead, the rep just swallows nervously and nods their head, “Y-yes, of course. Thank you, Deku. A-alright, with that confirmation the HPSC will notify Dynamight of the event. The Directors will decide if they want to take him off of his mission or not-”

“Are you serious?!” Izuku’s head whips over to Kirishima at the red-head’s outburst. “You heard that psycho! If Bakugo doesn’t come home, then that bastard is going to kill her!” Kirishima rages, one of his clenched fists slamming down on the table.

“R-Red Riot, I-I assure you that the Directors already have a plan in the works. It’s why you all have been brought into this meeting. I’ve been told to tell you that you five have been tasked with capturing Shadow Step.” The rep anxiously explains.

Izuku doesn’t miss the way they said what the mission was, though. Of course all the Commission cares about is having the Heroes find and put a stop to Shadow Step. To the Commission, it would be easy enough to explain it away or cover it up if you were to die before being rescued. To the Commission, saving a singular civilian such as yourself doesn’t take priority over capturing an escaped villain. To the Commission, you are nothing but collateral damage.

Izuku seethes where he is seated, his mind already working on the details of your rescue and cursing the Commission that he works for. He shares looks with the other four Heroes seated at the meeting table; Kirishima, Shinso, Jiro, and Tokage. The four reflect the determined expression Izuku sends them even though Shinso, Jiro, and Tokage all still seem to be in shock by the situation. Nobody had even an inkling that Katsuki Bakugo had anyone precious in his life other than his parents, and now the entire country knows.

The HPSC rep finishes up the meeting, letting Izuku and the other four Heroes know that the Commission would contact them with anything they find. A heavy silence follows the sound of the meeting room door closing, Izuku’s guilt laden thoughts waging war within his mind with the part of him that knows he couldn’t have predicted this.

“Do you really think that the Commission wouldn’t let Bakugo come home for this? Would.. would he even want to come home?” Kirishima meekly asks, sending Izuku a saddened and worried look.

“Hold on, why wouldn’t he want to come home? His girlfriend was kidnapped.” Jiro asks with a look of confusion.

“I’m not sure if they would let him come home, but if I know anything about Kacchan, it’s that he would find a way to get back here.” Izuku says with a heavy sigh, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table and his hands coming up to rub over his face.

“As for their current relationship status.. Kacchan broke up with her before he left for his mission. At the time, he thought that it would be better for her to be single rather than sitting around waiting for him to come back. His thought process was wrong but his heart was in the right place, and he regrets what he did. I can confirm that he very much still cares.. still loves her.” Izuku explains, cringing slightly at the harshly judgemental expressions on Shinso’s and Jiro’s faces.

“I’m just surprised that asshole could find anybody who wants to be with him, but that’s besides the point. So, what’s the plan here? Considering the injuries she had in the video on top of the gunshot wound, she may not have four days.” Shinso says stoically, his words like a bucket of ice water down Izuku’s back.

“They could be holding her anywhere. The room in the video looked like some sort of abandoned office space, but do you know how many abandoned business buildings there are in Japan? Not to mention, they could have moved locations since putting out the video.” Tokage says with solemn exasperation, rubbing a hand on her forehead.

Izuku pinches his bottom lip in thought for a moment before straightening up and tapping the table’s surface, awakening the technology beneath the glass. He pulls up a map of Japan, locates your apartment building, and highlights the point.

“Okay, so this is where her apartment is located. Let’s have Shinso, Jiro, and Tokage check the abandoned buildings within a five mile radius. You three have better stealth skills than Kirishima and I. While you three search buildings, I’ll further analyze the video for any possible clues.” Izuku says, taking charge of the situation. Shinso, Jiro, and Tokage simultaneously nod and send him looks of determination.

“Kirishima, I need you to look back through your files and give us as much information on Shadow Step as you can. You were the only one out of the five of us that was part of the team that took him down the first time. We’ll all keep in contact via our own closed Comms frequency.” Izuku directs, a look of agreement on everyone’s faces.

“One thing we all know for sure is that Shadow Step acts at night, so everybody should go rest up if you can because we’ll be officially starting this mission at sunset.” Izuku finishes with hardened determination coloring his tone and face.

𖤛 𖤛 𖤛

You’re not sure how much time has passed with your consciousness phasing in and out. Everything hurts; your head, your face, your shoulder, your ribs. You feel weak in every sense of the word but more so physically, barely being able to keep yourself sitting up. You’re still tied up, your muscles stiff and your neck seemingly stuck in its hung down position.

When you’re awake the voices of Shadow Step and his lackeys blearily echo in your ears. Whether they’re talking to you or to each other you're not sure. They’ve done the bare minimum to keep you breathing; wrapping a cloth around your shoulder to stem the bleeding and sticking an IV in your arm to keep you hydrated.

The spinning room is far too dizzying when you’re awake and the feeling of hopelessness drapes over your mind. It’s easier being asleep, easier letting your mind fall into the loss of consciousness that your body yearns for. So you let go of the fear and escape to the depths of your mind, your dreams offering a reprieve from the suffering you’re enduring.

Katsuki fakes a gag as the characters on TV kiss, cliche romantic melodies playing in the background as their kiss becomes more heated.

“This shit is so fucking cheesy I might actually die from cringing so hard.” Katsuki annoyedly rasps out.

You’re cuddled up to each other on the couch two movies into your weekly “Saturday Night Movie Marathon” and your chosen movie playing on the TV screen.

“I won’t deny that it’s cringe-worthy, but it’s all so cute, too! They’re so in looooovvvve!!” You gush with a giggle over Katsuki’s disgusted face when you look at him.

“Can’t believe you make me watch this shit. They’re all the same story, I don’t understand the appeal of it all. The main characters go back and forth for fuckin’ ever until they finally admit they love each other, then it’s end credits. It’s so damn dumb.” He grumbles out, then lets out an irritated sigh as he leans his head back onto the couch cushion.

With a roll of your eyes and your own sigh you look back at the TV with a small pout on your lips, “If you really hate these kinds of movies so much, you can just tell me to pick something different. I like genres other than ‘sappy-mushy-lovey-dovey-crap’, you know.”

Katsuki lightly pinches your side, huffing a laugh at the yelp you let out and the glare you send him, “Don’t be like that, Sweetheart. Ya know that I’m just messin’ with ya.” He murmurs into your neck as he trails light kisses along the column of your throat.

“Such a bully,” you mumble out as you tilt your head to give him better access.

“Mhm, but you love it, dontcha Sweetheart?” He says into your skin as his kisses get a bit more passionate.

Feelings stirring up within you begin clouding your mind as your breaths become airy and panted. A soft moan slips from your mouth when he kisses and lightly sucks on a particularly sensitive spot of your neck. His arms circle around your body, his hands slipping under your shirt and coming up to play with your breasts.

He pinches your hardened nipples and the airy words slip out of your mouth before you can stop them, “Ah, yes, love you, Katsuki.”

Katsuki’s ministrations come to a dead halt and your mind sobers up as shock fills you. Did you really just say that?! It’s not that you don't mean it, but more so that you two have only been together for a few months! You’re not sure if this is something Katsuki is ready for! What did you just do?! What the hell did you just d-

“I love you, too.” Katsuki whispers, his face buried in the crook of your neck and his hands clammy against your skin.

Tears well up in your eyes and everything feels so surreal, “You.. you don’t have to say it back if you’re not ready..” You whisper out as your heart races. Lifting his head from his hiding place, he gently urges you to turn around to face him. Your eyes scan over his flushed features and you take in the soft look he’s giving you.

“I love you too, Y/N.” He repeats himself with more surety in his tone and gentle determination on his face as he manages to maintain eye contact with you.

A few tears of happiness drip down your face and you surge forward, connecting your lips with his. Your arms wrap around his shoulders and you readjust your position to straddle him. The kiss turns into a heated makeout session with teeth nipping at bottom lips and tongues fighting for dominance.

The movie is forgotten as the heated passion rises between you both and soon enough there’s a pile of clothes on the floor. Pants, groans, and moans fill the air as your connected bodies move against each other. This was love-making in its truest form and you were lost in the ecstasy of it all. Both of you lost in showering one another with as much physical affection as you could show as you both worked each other toward the edge.

Laying on the couch wrapped up in each other in the afterglow of sex, you couldn’t imagine a lifetime where you didn’t love this man.

You snap to consciousness when sharp, white-hot pain shoots through your body from your shoulder. You send a weak glare to Reiji as he just looks down at you with a sick smile on his face. His hand squeezes your injured shoulder harder, his fingers digging into the hole in your flesh. Fresh blood saturates the cloth wrapped around your shoulder and you weakly cry out, pleading for him to stop. Fresh tears stream down your face and wish so desperately to go back to the times when you were in the safety of Katsuki’s arms.

𖤛 𖤛 𖤛

Izuku can't get himself to relax, let alone get some rest. Flashes of your beaten form burn behind his eyelids and your pain-filled scream echoes around his mind. Guilt tears up his stomach and fear has bile sitting at the back of his throat. Sitting on his couch with the TV's low volume droning on in the background of his racing thoughts, he's suddenly brought back to the present when his phone starts ringing. Pulling it from his pocket his stomach drops when he sees the caller ID.. It's Katsuki.

Taking in a shaky breath, Izuku accepts the call and brings the phone up to his ear, “Kacchan.. I-I’m s-so sorry.. I.. I sh-should have d-” Izuku softly begins, stuttering as emotions clog his throat, but his apology is cut short.

“Izuku,” Katsuki whispers out and Izuku doesn’t recognize the hollow despondent tone his childhood friend has taken on.

“Kacchan?” Izuku’s voice cracks as he speaks, the sting of tears making him blink rapidly.

“The Commission sent me the video.. Wanted me to confirm that it was actually Shadow Step and not some imposter.. Like I’d actually know that somehow without fucking being there..” Katsuki pauses, a couple of labored breaths then a sniffle filling the silence before he speaks again.

“Th-they.. They didn’t even say anything about, Y/N.. I-I told them that I wanted to come home, that I need to come home, but they won’t take me off of this mission, Izuku.. They won’t let me COME HOME! Wha-what am I gunna do?! What sh-should I do?! I-I c-can’t let her- Wh-what if she- This can’t be- I-” Katsuki’s words descend into a muddled mess as his breathing picks up and even if they hadn't been friends for so long, Izuku could recognize a panic attack anywhere.

“K-Kacchan, you need to calm down. Slow your breathing, okay. Deep breaths, just copy me.” Izuku calmly coaches through the choked sobs wracking his chest.

“I.. can’t.. calm.. down..” Katsuki wheezes out, his anger and fear evident despite his inability to breathe properly.

It takes a while, but Izuku eventually gets Katsuki to even out his breaths, both of them left panting in the aftermath.

“She’s gunna die, Izuku, and it’s my fucking fault!” Katsuki openly sobs out, his voice breaking and full of anguish.

“We’re not going to let that happen, Kacchan. Listen to me! I will not let her die at the hands of that bastard! Just focus on getting back here, forget what the Commision wants.” Izuku says with steely, firm resolve.

“I won’t make it back in time, Izuku! It took me four fucking days to get out here! What if you guys can’t find her in time, huh?! The last fucking thing I ever said to her was that breaking up was best for both of us! She’ll die thinking I don’t fucking love her!” Katsuki shouts over the phone, his voice raw and breaking further as he crumbles down to nothing.

“I promise you that we will find her alive, Kacchan! Just get your ass back home as soon as you can, okay?” Izuku says firmly, trying desperately to reassure Katsuki.

An hour later, Izuku hangs up his phone with a long, exhausted sigh. It had taken him longer than expected to bring Katsuki back to more rational thinking. Coupled with the task of trying to get Katsuki to trust that Izuku and his team will find you, it’s safe to say that Izuku is beyond tired. But there isn’t any more time to rest because it’s time for Izuku to meet back up with the other four Heroes on his team.

Izuku arrives back at the meeting room from earlier in the day just after Kirishima. The two of them only have to wait a few minutes before the other three Heroes on their team walk in and Izuku is quick to get into the details of their tasks.

“This map has been linked with the ones on your phones. Pinpoints of all of the abandoned buildings within a five mile radius of Y/N’s apartment have already been marked. Just let us know over the Comms every time you clear a building and we’ll mark it off of the list.” Izuku says in a serious tone, his mind focussed on the tasks at hand.

“I’ve already called in the best stealth-based sidekicks I could find. Each of you will have two accompanying you to help clear buildings faster. Report any piece of potential evidence you find, anything and everything could be imperative to the mission. Alright, pick your zones and head out. Your sidekicks will be waiting for you in the lobby.” Izuku further explains before essentially dismissing Shinso, Jiro, and Tokage.

Given the extreme importance of the mission and the time constraints, the three choose their zones and quickly head out leaving Kirishima and Izuku alone in the room.

“You look rougher than you did earlier man.. Did you get any rest?” Kirishima gently asks as he takes in Izuku’s worn-out appearance.

“I’m fine. I couldn’t manage to sleep, then.. Kacchan called. He’s a mess, Kirishima.. I’ve never heard him so broken before even during all of the crap we all went through at UA.” Izuku quietly says as he watches through the video, his eyes searching the background for anything.

Izuku hears Kirishima swallow thickly as the red-head shuffles through the files he brought. “I really hope that we find her in time..” Kirishima whispers, seemingly more to himself, and Izuku’s fists clench.

“We will,” Izuku grits out as he replays the video, this time at a slower speed.

After what feels like years of replaying the video and looking over the information Kirishima dug up on Shadow Step, Izuku’s exhaustion catches up with him and he snaps a bit. “Fuck!” He exclaims frustratedly as he sits back in his chair and rubs his hands over his face.

“Nothing at this building either, Deku, it’s clear.” Jiro’s voice comes through Izuku’s earpiece. The green-haired Hero growls out an “okay” and marks the building off of the map in front of him.

“Listen, man, if you wanna take a brief break, then I can handle the Comms for a bit..” Kirishima tries to offer, face full of concern as he looks at his friend and fellow Hero.

“I don’t have time to take a break. We have to find her before time runs out. I don’t know what else to do, there’s nothing in the video that would point us any closer to finding her. All of the buildings that the stealth team have checked so far have brought up nothing. What else could we possibly che-” Izuku cuts himself off from his exasperation-filled rant as an idea hits his brain.

“God, why didn’t any of us think of this sooner? Damn it!” He growls out as he brings up another hologram screen from the table.

“Think of what, man?” Kirishima asks confusedly as he scoots closer to Izuku.

“Security cameras,” Izuku mutters as he pulls up mini screen after mini screen of camera footage.

“Fuck.. okay, tell me where you want me to pull camera footage from. We can divide up the search between us both.” Kirishima says as he moves to a different part of the table and pulls up a hologram screen.

Izuku tells him where to start, then the two are nearly silent as their eyes search through hours worth of traffic and security cam footage. Occasional muttering from both of them fills the room, as well as Izuku’s responses to the stealth team. None of the five Heroes come up with anything until Shinso’s shaken voice comes through the Comms.

“Mid- Deku.. I found the room the video was filmed in,” Shinso informs Izuku, and the rest of the team, gravely. Izuku’s whole body freezes up and his eyes whip to the map to see where Shinso’s location is pinged. The map shows Shinso in a building about two and half miles South from your apartment complex.

“Deku, there’s a lot of blood on the floor here..” Shinso says, his tone disheartened, and Izuku’s nausea comes back at full-force.

“Shinso, stay there and wait for the police to arrive. Jiro and Tokage, take your sidekicks and all of you start searching the abandoned buildings around Shinso’s pinned location. From what we’ve gathered on Shadow Step’s Quirk he can’t teleport very far and his teleportation may be made more difficult if he’s transporting Y/N around.” Izuku orders while trying his best to keep in his Hero mindset and not let his emotions take over.

Izuku looks over at Kirishima, about to tell him to start searching the camera footage from around Shinso’s location when he pauses, “Kirishima, do you need a moment to step out?” Izuku asks as he looks over Kirishima’s stock-still frame and pale face.

Kirishima’s eyes snap to him and he shakes his head, “N-no. I’m fine. What do you need me to do?”

𖤛 𖤛 𖤛

You’re brought into a hazy and slightly delirious-feeling consciousness by the feeling of someone changing your IV. You don’t have the energy anymore to make anything other than a small, barely heard, and weak whimper. You’re not sure how long it’s been since the day the video was made, since the day you were fucking shot. With the state that your body is in and Shadow Step constantly transporting you through shadows to different abandoned buildings, everything is blurring together.

Being awake is becoming more and more unpleasant and surreal. Your entire body hurts. You feel sick; feverish but freezing, weak, trembling so much that your teeth chatter. The thought that your gunshot wound may be infected has crossed your dazed mind, but you can’t do anything about it. All they’ve done for it is change the wrapping a couple times only because the three of them keep agitating the wound, making it bleed more.

You don’t even know how you’re still alive, honestly. Between the blood loss and the possible infection, you really feel like you should be dead. Hell, you almost wish Shadow Step would kill you before his self-set timeline ends just so that you don’t have to endure this any longer. At the same time, you pray that Katsuki is out there trying his best to find you.. Because even if he doesn’t love you anymore he used to and that has to count for something, right?

But you also know Katsuki.. You know that he never half-asses anything. If the mission he’s on isn’t finished, if they still need him out there, then he’s not going to abandon it to save an ex.

Whatever ends up happening, whether he comes home or not, you know that you won’t resent or hate him. Even with being in the most emotional and mental pain in your life during the last four months, you’ve never once hated him. Sure, you were pissed as fuck in the beginning, but your love for him hasn’t faded. There’s always been that voice in the back of your mind telling you that he hadn’t meant it. That he hadn’t meant to hurt you. That his heart was in the right place despite his fucked up execution of the situation.

As your blurred sense of reality fades out and you slip back into memory-filled unconsciousness, you grasp tightly onto the hope that all of this ends soon one way or another, and a small smile weakly tugs at your lips at the memory your mind begins playing..

You’ve looked over your entire outfit five times in the mirror by now, making yourself run borderline late. It’s been a while since you’ve been on a first date, so the world can kiss your ass for stressing over every detail. With one more touch up of your already perfect makeup, you breathe out a shaky sigh, then grab your purse.

The drive to the restaurant goes fairly smoothly and you pull into the parking lot 5 minutes before you’re supposed to be there. A soft gasp of shock and awe leaves you when you turn your car off and finally take a good look at the place. It looks ridiculously fancy and much too expensive for you to even be parked in the parking lot. You re-read the message Bakugo had sent you a couple of days ago detailing how to enter the building and ask about the reservation while exercising as much privacy as possible.

Admittedly, you were a bit apprehensive about going on a date with him at all. The man is freaking Pro Hero Dynamight and you had always told yourself that you didn’t want to be with someone like him. Someone who not only puts his life on the line every day, but who also has eyes on his every move at any given point. But a few casual conversations with Bakugo at your part time job at a local (but somewhat fancy) coffee and tea shop later, he somehow managed to charm you into going on a date with him.

In the days leading up to this date Bakugo had assured you plenty of times that he would do everything he could to keep things relatively private and just between the two of you. You had learned that while he is a Limelight Pro, he very much values keeping his private life just that; private. So you decided to trust his word, ignore the thoughts begging to know why he would want to even go on a date with a random-nobody-part-time-barista, and now you’re here.

Here.

At a fancy ass restaurant.

Feeling severely out of your league and still wondering how you ever caught his eye.

With a racing heart and shaky hands you grab your purse and get out of your car. Making your way up to the front doors of the restaurant, one hand fidgets with your necklace as the other grips the strap of your purse just a little too tightly. Walking through the door your eyes immediately search the sea of faces for the server Bakugo had mentioned in the message. A small sigh of relief leaves your mouth when you spot them and you politely wave them down.

“Welcome, ma’am! Is there something I can help you with?” They politely ask with a warm smile and it makes you feel a bit more comfortable already.

“Yes, uhm, I’m the other party for the reservation under K. B.” You tell them with a nervous smile.

“Ah, I see! Let me just check something..” They say as they look down at the tablet in their hands for a moment.

Your eyes glance down at the tablet and you watch them pull up a photo of you. You recognize the selfie as the one you took the day prior and had sent to Bakugo when he had asked for it. You had found it a bit weird when he initially asked, but he had explained the purpose shortly after receiving the photo.

“Perfect! If you’ll just follow me this way, please! Also, if I may say, you are just as gorgeous in person!” The server says, their smile kind and still just as warm, and your cheeks flush.

“Thank you,” you say shyly as you step forward to follow them. The blush deepens a bit when you think back to yesterday when Bakugo had commented on the photo and called you beautiful, even though it was just a simple selfie.

The server and yourself weave through tables and groups of people until you both reach a door with a gold plate that reads “VIP Seating” on it. The server slides a keycard through the handle and it beeps, signifying that it’s unlocked. They push it open, holding the door so that you can walk through, then they let it swing shut and wait a moment for it to lock again before proceeding to lead you to your table.

Looking around as you walk you notice that there are significantly less tables in this section of the restaurant and it doesn’t take you long to spot Bakugo. Your breath catches in your throat when you see him seated at the table leisurely sipping on what you think is whiskey on the rocks. He’s wearing a deep green button up with a black tie and a black vest, black slacks, and expensive-looking, glossy dress shoes. He looks stunning and you feel underdressed despite wearing your most expensive dress and a pair of pricey, name brand stilettos Akari let you borrow.

As you get lead closer to the table, Bakugo’s eyes stray from the window he was looking out of to scan the room. His gaze immediately catches on you and you watch his eyes widen a bit as they look your form up and down. You feel self-conscious but stifle a giggle as you watch him tug his collar a bit before he quickly moves to stand.

“Your table, ma’am! I’ll give you both some time to look over the menu but in the meantime, would you like something to drink?” The server says and you give them your drink order, then they’re off.

“Hi,” you say shyly as you look at Bakugo, your blush returning a bit.

“Hey,” he gently rasps out, his eyes still slowly roaming over your body causing your feelings of self-consciousness to return in full.

You look down at your dress and begin to nervously ramble, “I-I hope I dressed up enough.. you said this place was fancy, but I didn’t know it was this fan-”

“You look amazing,” Bakugo rushes out, effectively cutting you off, and your face practically catches fire. “Ah, uhm, let me get your chair for you.” He says in what you interpret as shyness, which you find adorable. As he walks around you to your chair your eyes catch on the pink tips of his ears, also freaking adorable, and you stifle yet another giggle.

He pulls out your chair and you thank him as you sit, scooching the chair toward the table with his assistance. ‘The brash Pro Hero Dynamight is actually such a gentleman, who knew?’ You playfully think to yourself as you watch him make his way back to his chair.

“You look pretty amazing yourself,” you say as a random bout of confidence hits your system. Your confidence and comfort only rises as you watch his cheeks begin to pinken. He sputters a bit before grumbling out a “thank you” and you let your giggle slip out this time around. He sends you what’s supposed to be a glare but the corners of his mouth tick up and there’s a playfulness in his eyes. The night rolls on with easy getting-to-know-each-other conversation, amazing food, and a comfortable atmosphere.

Everything is going so well, flowing so easily and feeling so right, but you’re still unsure if this is something you want to pursue further. It’s only when you get back to your car with Bak- Katsuki’s suit jacket over your shoulders, Katsuki wearing a mask and beanie that don’t match the rest of his attire at all, and he lowers the mask on his face to kiss you goodbye that your heart seems to stop as your brain comes to a startling realization..

You’re starting to fall, really hard, for this man.

𖤛 𖤛 𖤛

To say that Izuku is emotionally, mentally, and physically wrung out would be an understatement. He and the rest of the team have spent day and night the last three days trying to find you with minimal success. Every building checked has turned up with nothing except more blood along with bloody bandage wraps, empty IV bags, and increased frustration. Not to mention the very few camera sightings of Shadow Step and his two accomplices, the sightings only being slivers of the man in the corners of the frames or glimpses of him slipping into shadows.

It doesn’t help that Izuku’s phone has been getting inundated with notifications from Katsuki, his childhood friend messaging or calling him every chance he gets between flights. Izuku has stopped answering Katsuki’s calls, though, simply because that every call is full of frustration-fueled screaming matches that end with gritted out apologies. The green-haired Hero feels for his friend, he really does, but he can only take so much of his yelling and berating. They’re not in school anymore and they’re actually friends now.

“This building is clear, Deku. No sign of them passing through here.” Kirishima reports as he walks up to Izuku, his face and tone heavy with tired frustration and sadness.

Izuku can feel his hold on One For All slip and green lightning radiates from his body as he struggles to keep from punching a wall, “Fuck!” He yells, his voice echoing throughout the room he was searching.

Kirishima lets out a heavy sigh and turns to leave, “C’mon man, lets go check out the next on-”

“I found them.” Tokage’s hushed voice crackles through the Comms, but it feels as though she shouted it into Izuku’s ear as her words ring through his brain. He just stands there shocked for a moment, briefly thinking that his overly exhausted mind is playing a cruel trick on him, before he dashes into action.

“Copy that. Pulling up your location now. Keep them in your sights, but keep hidden. All other Heroes and sidekicks start heading for Lizardy’s location.” Izuku commands as he moves as fast as he can out of the building, Kirishima just barely keeping up behind him.

On their way to Tokage’s location, Izuku had told Shinso and Jiro to wait for himself and Kirishima near a building about a block away from the target building. Izuku had also taken to using Blackwhip and Float in order to move faster, unfortunately having to use one of his Blackwhip tendrils to carry Kirishima. The red-haired Hero didn’t seem to mind this form of travel except for maybe the slight look of fear when he was initially lifted off of the ground.

The two get to the established meeting spot just after Shinso and his sidekicks, and they don’t have to wait but a minute longer for Jiro and her sidekicks to arrive. Izuku immediately hashes out a plan of attack, making it a priority for someone to get you first if they can.

“Everyone ready?” Izuku asks with eager determination and receives nods of confirmation filled with just as much determination. “Lizardy, do you copy?”

“Yes, I copy.” Tokage answers quietly.

“We’re set to get into position. Are they all still there?” Izuku asks as he nods at those around him, a silent command to get moving.

“Yes. Shadow Step is on his phone and his two lackeys are sleeping.” Tokage quietly reports.

“What about Y/N?” Izuku asks as his fear tries to override his Hero Mode.

“She’s tied up and on the floor in the West corner of the room. She appears to be sleeping as well, but Deku.. I don’t think she’s doing very well..” Tokage informs and her voice takes on a somber tone.

It takes incredible effort for Iuzku to shove down his emotions as he tries to keep himself together to complete the mission, but he manages to do it, “We’re all here, she’ll be fine. Lizardy, once everybody has confirmed their positions, I want you to send your hands into the room with a pair of Quirk canceling cuffs. Try to get them onto either Shadow Step’s wrists or ankles, then report if you managed to do so or not.” Izuku tells her as he reaches his position.

“Everyone else, if Lizardy succeeds, rush in immediately. If she isn’t successful, hold your positions and be ready for a chase.” Izuku quietly directs the others, receiving confirmations from the whole group.

“Alright, sending the cuffs in now.” Tokage whispers, her concentration on the task heard in her voice.

Izuku feels like he waits against the wall of his position forever, the Comms quiet and his heart racing a millions miles a minute. He notes just how dim it has gotten out and for the first time in his life he curses a sunset. His biggest fear right now is missing this opportunity because he knows that once the sun has set, Shadow Step will move you to another building. If he and the team lets that happen, then it’s back to square one and the possibility of getting you back alive practically diminishes.

There wouldn’t be enough time to hunt down Shadow Step, not with it already taking the team three whole days to find him now. Add that to the fact that Katsuki is only about halfway through his second to last flight back to Japan. Even if more Heroes were brought onto the case there just wouldn’t be enough fucking time.

The seconds tick by agonizingly slowly and Izuku has to fight the panic trying to grasp at his lungs. They have to save you. He has to save you. He doesn’t think Katsuki would be able to move past it if you died. Izuku isn’t even sure if he would be able to get past it if you died and he’s only friends with you. Katsuki, though, Katsuki was your boyfriend. He was and still is very serious about you as Izuku has come to find out. So serious that a month before Katsuki had found out that he was being sent on a mission he had bought a ring. A ring that you never had any idea about. A ring that Izuku only knows about because Katsuki drunkenly told him everything about your guys’ secret relationship a few nights before he shattered your heart. A ring that sits securely tucked away in a safe with the letter Katsuki had given Izuku the day he left for the mission.

So yeah, it’s safe to say that Izuku is feeling every ounce of pressure of making sure this massive opportunity is not fucking wast-

“The cuffs are on, everybody move in now!” Tokage shouts into the Comms and Izuku doesn’t hesitate for even a second rushing up the final flight of stairs that lead toward the room you’re being held in.

It’s pure chaos when Izuku bursts into the room, Shinso and Jiro right behind him with Kirishima trailing not too far behind them. Izuku bypasses Shadow Step’s lackeys as they rush the door, their adrenaline seemingly knocking away their sleep. Shinso and Jiro quickly garner their attention, fighting them to keep their attention away from helping their boss or getting to you.

Izuku finds Shadow Step lying on the ground with his ankles cuffed together. He almost counts it as a victory until he watches one of Shadow Step’s arms reach behind him, mostly likely trying to grab his gun. But he doesn’t get the chance to even touch the weapon because Izuku quickly restrains him with expertly controlled tendrils of Blackwhip. He manuvers Shadow Step so that he can cuff his wrists and secure the bastard’s gun.

“Who’s available to come take this bastard outside to wait for the police?” Izuku calls out, his eyes focused on your slumped and still form in the corner of the room.

“I got him, man. Go see if she’s okay.” Kirishima says after he’s finished helping Jiro cuff one of the lackeys.

Izuku waits until Shadow Step is firmly within Kirishima’s grip before rushing over to you. His stomach churns just looking at the state you’re in and stomach acid burns at the back of his throat when he gently puts his hands on your heated and shivering body.

“Y/N? Y/N, can you hear me? Come on, Y/N, wake up.” Izuku gently urges as he pushes the hair away from your face.

You let out a weak whimper, a string of whispered pleas to stop and to not hurt you anymore leaving your dry, cracked lips. Izuku’s heart breaks and he gently hushes you, telling you that it’s okay and that you’re being rescued.

“K-Kats? Y-you fou-found m-me?” You stutter out weakly, your breaths labored and your eyes still closed as Izuku holds your head up for you.

“It’s Izuku, Y/N.. Kacchan isn’t back yet, but he’s on his way, I promise. He’s trying to get back as fast as possible.” Izuku quietly tells you through his tears as he cuts the ropes off of you.

You don’t register Iuzku’s words, your infection-induced delirium and barely conscious state not letting you grasp his words, “I-I st-ill love y-you, Kats.. Do yo-you..” You don’t get to finish your question before you pass out, but Izuku can guess what you were going to ask.

A strangled sob leaves his mouth before he reigns himself back in and gently wraps his arms around you, “He does, Y/N. He does still love you.” He whispers out as he carefully stands with your limp form in his arms.

𖤛 𖤛 𖤛

It takes a few days of being in the hospital’s ICU being pumped full of meds before you wake up with any sort of clarity. You couldn’t have any visitors because of the risk of an exposure to anything that would worsen your condition. It’s not like you would have remembered anyone visiting you if they could have, you were unconscious practically the whole time between the meds and your body being so weak.

But today you wake up of your own volition and it’s the best you’ve felt in what feels like years. The world doesn’t have a delirious haze over it, the pain in your shoulder and head have reduced down to dull aches, and your appetite has returned if the pang in your stomach is anything to go off of. You slowly reach your good arm out to press the call nurse button when the door suddenly bursts open causing you to flinch back and pain radiates through your body.

Katsuki’s angry tone slams rather than floats into the room with the opening of the door, “I’m done fuckin’ waitin’! Doc said she would probably wake up feeling better today since her healin’ has been on track, so I’m fuckin’ seein’ my girlfrie- Holy shit, you’re already awake?” He asks in disbelief when he finally looks at you.

“Just woke up,” You say quietly, your voice hoarse from lack of use and you cough a bit. Apparently the nurse that had been trying to keep Katsuki out of your room is just as shocked that you’re awake and lucid because it takes Katsuki demanding that she go get some water to knock her from her trance. She glares at Katsuki for a moment before telling you that she’s going to go get you some water and tell the doctor that you’re awake.

The door closes and the room fills with heavy silence, the only sounds interrupting the silence being your heart monitor and breathing. Katsuki just stares at you and when you can’t stand meeting his gaze any longer you look down at your lap. The hand of your good arm fidgets with the thin hospital blanket pooled at your waist as too many emotions whirlwind around your brain and heart.

“Can I, uh, is it okay if I sit?” Katsuki asks hesitantly and you almost want to say no, but you’ve never been good at saying no to him.

“Sure,” you say quietly and nearly regret it because with every step he takes toward the chair next to your bed, you feel the dam you didn’t know you had up within you crack. Your hand grips the blanket tightly when he sits and your eyes start stinging. You can feel the heavy weight of Katsuki’s gaze on you but you know that if you meet it the dam will completely crumble and you’re already trying so hard not to cry.

The silence that has settled back over the two of you is broken when the nurse comes into the room with a cup and a pitcher of water, “Alright, hon, here’s some water. Sip slowly, okay? Also, the doctor should be by within the next hour to see if you’re ready to transfer out of the ICU.” She says sweetly as she sets the water and the cup down on the bedside table.

She looks between you and Katsuki for a moment before asking, “You sure you want him in here right now, hon?” Concern coloring her features when she sees the shine of tears in your eyes, both of you ignoring the irritated sigh that leaves Katsuki.

“Yes, I’m sure, thank you. I’ll hit the button if I need anything.” You say with a small smile and take a couple sips of water.

“Okay, hon. Remember, small sips.” She says before she’s out of the room, the door slowly shutting once more.

“Y/N, I..” Katsuki starts and your hand tightens around the cup at his soft, saddened tone. “I don’t know where to start.. I’m so fuckin’ sorry-”

“You weren’t there,” You whisper out before you can stop yourself, tears finally tipping over the edges of your lash lines.

“I-I know, Baby-” He tries to butt in, his voice already wrecked and guilt-ridden, but you cut him off again.

“N-no, you weren’t there, Katsuki. You left for that mission and you weren’t in the apartment anymore. Not you, not your stuff. You weren’t there.” You continue, crying as you speak. “S-so I couldn’t be there either. For four months I slept on Akari’s couch, or in Izuku’s guest room, or in a hotel room. I-I even fell asleep at my desk at work a few times. You weren’t home, so I wasn’t either. For four months that apartment sat empty, void of people, un-until I-I decided t-to-” Your sentence hangs in the air incomplete as your breathing picks up at the bits of memories of what had happened that day flash across your mind.

“Fuck.. Y/N, Sweetheart? Breathe, Sweetheart. C’mon, take some deep breaths for me Baby, please.” Katsuki tries verbally coaching you through your panic attack but, much to his overwhelming concern, it isn’t working.

“Dammit, c-can I touch you? Is that okay, Sweetheart?” He desperately asks and all you can do is nod your head. Katsuki is quick to rise from his chair to carefully slide himself onto the bed. Being hyper aware of your healing injuries, he gathers you up into his arms and takes your hand into his, gently squeezing it.

“Okay, Baby, remember how we used to do this? Listen for my breaths and focus your attention on our hands.” He rasps softly, then begins taking slow and even deep breaths as his hand gently squeezes yours to the rhythm.

A few long-feeling minutes go by before your breaths even out and you’re left crying into his chest. He stays quiet, soothingly rubbing your back and lightly resting his head against yours, as he waits for your crying to subside. An additional five minutes later, your cries are little more than quiet sniffles and stray tears rolling down your face.

There’s a long moment of not-quite-silence before you speak again, “Izuku had convinced me that I should go back-”

“Sweetheart, you don’t have to talk about it if you’re not rea-”

Cutting each other’s sentences off seemed to be the theme of today and while you would normally just let someone speak, you needed Katsuki to hear this. You needed to tell him what had happened the day you were taken and..

“But I don’t blame him for what happened. He hadn’t told me to go back that same day, he just said that I should do it soon. Suggested that I go back to the apartment and do whatever I wanted to reclaim the space as my own so that I would stop thinking of it as ours. I know that he didn’t have any ill-intent behind the suggestion. I wasn’t doing very well, Kats, and I know that he was worried. He was just trying to help me bounce back.” You say quietly and pause for a brief moment to just listen to the sound of Katsuki’s heartbeat.

Katsuki remained quiet, surprisingly enough, so you continued on, “So when I left his place that day, I went back to Akari’s and gathered my stuff, then drove home. I know that I should have messaged him. I know that I should have at least brought Akari with me, though I’m glad that I didn’t.. Wh-when I got there, Kats, the door was cracked open and..” You trail off as you mentally berate yourself for being so stupid.

“Sweethe-”

“..and I pushed it open because I’m that fucking stupid! I just walked inside like finding your apartment door broken open is fucking normal and that’s when I saw one of Sh-Shadow S-Step’s guys in the living room.. Do you know what I did next, Katsuki? I just fucking stood there! I didn’t scream, I didn’t run, I just stood there like a fucking moron! That’s when, either the other guy or Shadow Step himself, hit me in the back of my head and I blacked out.” You push on with your retelling of the events, Katsuki’s hold on you growing a bit tighter.

“Baby, just-”

Tears begin rapidly falling down your face again and a sob leaves your mouth, “I-I’m s-so s-sorry, Kats! I-I’m so f-fucking sorry! I-I-I di-dn’t mean t-to wor-ry eve-everyone! I-I j-just-”

“Y/N, stop.” Katsuki says firmly, his face pained as he gently forces you to look at him. “You are absolutely fucking not going to blame yourself for getting fucking taken by that guy, do you hear me?” His voice cracks as he speaks and you notice the glisten of tears in his eyes.

“If you want to pin blame on somebody, then pin it on that bastard, Shadow Step. Pin it on the dumbfucks who let him escape prison. Pin it on me.. Fucking pin it on me for leaving you the way that I did because maybe if I hadn’t.. Maybe you wouldn’t have ended up nearly dying! I’m the one who should be fucking sorry, Y/N, and I am! I am so fucking sorry and whatever I could possibly do to make it up to you, just tell me and I’ll do it! Please, Baby, I love you so much, I’m sorry.”

You’re both crying by the time Katsuki finishes, holding onto each other tightly as tidal waves of emotions slam into you both. Your heart breaks as you listen to the man you love sob into your shoulder and you pray to the universe that you never hear it again as you cling to him.

“I haven’t and I never will blame you for this, Katsuki. You couldn’t see it coming as much as I couldn’t.. But I’m okay now. I’m alive and safe and I love you too, Kats, so much.” You tearfully stutter over sobs, and Katsuki lifts his head to look at you.

He cradles your face in his hands, his thumbs wiping away your tears as best he can, “I know we’re both kind of gross from crying-” he softly starts and you can’t help the huff of wet laughter that leaves your lips.

He attempts to glare at you but his face is too soft, too loving, for it to pack any sort of heat, “-but, would it be okay if I kissed you?” He finishes, pink dusting his cheeks a bit and a small, wobbly smile on his lips.

“Have I ever made you ask for permission before?” You weakly tease as you lean in toward him. He meets you halfway, slotting his lips against yours without adding in any sassy comeback beforehand.

In that moment, it’s like you come alive again, like you’re home. It may have only been four months without him, but with everything else that happened stacked on top of those four months, you could have been convinced that it was a lifetime. Sure, you have some things that you’re going to have to work through, both with Katsuki and yourself. There’s definitely going to have to be some work put in by both of you to rebuild trust and you’re most definitely going to have to get some therapy to help work through the shit you went through getting kidnapped.

But for right now, you let yourself sink into the feelings of home, safety, and Katsuki’s love.

𖤛 𖤛 𖤛

{A few months later}

“Izuku, I’m telling you right now that if I trip over something one more time because of this whole ‘put on this blind fold and I’ll guide you’ bullshit, I’m going to lose it and you will be the victim of that wrath.” You grit out half-jokingly when you stumble for the fifth time since this endeavor started.

Izuku laughs, obviously not taking your threat as seriously as he should, and helps to steady you, “I promise you that we’re almost there! Also, do you really think that I would let you get hurt? Kacchan would kill me- awff!”

Izuku lets out a weird noise as your elbow meets his stomach and now it’s your turn to laugh, “What the hell even was that? Oh my god, that was funny! Okay, back to business, we’re almost where, exactly?” You question in hopes that he’ll actually tell you this time.

“Nope. Elbows to the stomach aren’t as effective as you may think, but nice try! All you need to know is that we’re almost there!” Izuku answers all too cheerfully for your taste and a pout forms on your lips.

After an indeterminate amount of time continuing on this lovely nature walk, you’re assuming it’s lovely since you can’t freaking see, Izuku finally lets you know that it’s coming to an end, “Alrighty, just around the bend here.. And look at that, there’s Kacchan!” He excitedly exclaims and you fight the urge to elbow him again.

“Izuku, I can’t see anything, I’m fucking blindfolded.” You state in the most unamused tone you can muster. You hear two huffs from two different directions, each depicting two different emotions. One of them is the little pouty huff Izuku does when someone gets snarky with him and the other is the huff of laughter you know so well to be Katsuki’s.

“Kats, Izuku made me put on this blindfold and then he tried to kill me multiple times on the way here.. Wherever ‘here’ is.” You whine at your boyfriend, your lips forming back into a pout to hide the playful smirk tugging at them.

“He wouldn’t let anything happen to you, Sweetheart. His whole career is based on keeping people from getting hurt, plus he knows that I would kill him.” Katsuki says matter of factly and you can hear the mirth in his voice.

Behind you, Izuku makes a triumphant noise like he won something, “See! I told you- awff! Dammit, stop doing that!” Izuku makes the hilariously weird noise again after you elbow him in the stomach, again, and you can’t help the evil little giggle that leaves your mouth.

“Alright Sweetheart, stop abusing the nerd,” Katsuki says after he’s done laughing. “And do me a favor, yeah? Step forward about six steps, and before you say anything, no you aren’t going to trip on anything.”

Taking a brief moment to flip Katsuki the bird for his teasing, you hesitantly begin to step forward. You count the steps in your head since Katsuki was weirdly specific about it, then stop when you’ve taken the sixth step. You are beyond confused about what the hell is going on here, but you trust Katsuki so don’t question anything aloud.

“Hmm.. actually, take one more step forward.” Katsuki says in a quieted and calculating tone, he sounds closer to you now and that supplies more questions in your mind. Regardless, you take one more step, then just stand in place, your hands fidgeting with the hem of your shirt.

“Now, turn around.” Katsuki says and you can hear a bit of nervousness enter his voice.

“Kats, what’s going on? Are you oka-” You ask concernedly and your hands come up to peel off the blindfold.

“Don’t! Ah, j-just, don’t take that off yet.. please.. And, could you just turn around? Please?” He asks and you can hear his nerves turning into slight irritation, so you mumble out a ‘sorry’ then turn around.

You hear a bit of shuffling behind you and you begin to feel genuine concern and anxiety about what situation you three could possibly be in. After about a minute of shuffling noises and small grunts from behind you, Izuku’s voice pipes up from a bit of a distance in front of you.

“Okay, Y/N, you can take off the blindfold now.” He calls out and you breathe a sigh of relief as you pull the cloth off of your face.

You blink a bit against the bright rays of sunlight and when your vision adjusts you see Izuku making a “turn around” motion with one of his hands. His other hand is holding up what looks to be Katsuki’s phone, the front pointed at you as if he’s taking a video. You send him a look of utter confusion as his hand motion gets more urgent and his smile grows wider.

Hesitantly, you turn around and what you see has you gasping with tears immediately spring to your eyes.

Katsuki is down on one knee with a maroon colored velvet box clasped in his hands looking nervous as hell but wearing a handsome, genuinely happy smile on his face. Behind him, just past the ledge you both are near, is a breathtaking view of a canyon full of lush greenery and a river running right down the middle of it. Bringing both of your hands up to your mouth, you try to wrap your head around what’s happening.

“Y/N L/N, you have been the most consistent thing on my mind since the very first time I saw you. The day we met in that little cafe there was something about you that wouldn’t shake itself from my thoughts. I don’t know if it was your smile, your cheesy charm, or the way you treated me like I was just a normal customer, but you’ve had me hooked since then.” He pauses for a moment when a tearful giggle leaves your lips from his teasing little dig and you melt at the adoration in his eyes.

“I tried my damndest not to fall for you, especially when you had mentioned you didn’t think you could handle a lifestyle like mine, but with every conversation we had, you had me wrapped around your small ass finger more and more. I know that I’m difficult and I’ve fucked up, but you keep loving me. It’s probably one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever encountered in my life, but it’s also the most incredible.” Katsuki’s emotional staring is so intense and you almost want to shy away. You're a blubbering mess by now, absolutely drowning in his affectionate speech, and he keeps going.

“What we have is something that I’m never going to try to get rid of.. again..” Guilt flashes across his features when he says this even though you both have worked through it you know that he still beats himself up over it. But his happiness comes back in the blink of an eye and he continues, “So this is me tying ya down, Sweetheart. I love you, Y/N, more than I ever thought possible for someone like myself.”

He pauses one more time, his eyes darting down to the box in his hands as he opens it and presents it to you, his loving gaze meeting yours, and what he says next is the most “Katsuki” thing you think he could say in a moment like this..

“Y/N L/N, my Sweetheart, will ya fuckin’ marry me or what?”

Your laughter mixes with your happy crying as you fall to your knees, every form of “yes” you can think of at this moment spilling from your lips as he slips the ring onto your finger. Cheering is heard from Izuku as you pull Katsuki in for a passionate kiss, your heart so incredibly full that it feels like it’ll burst.

Katsuki is the first one to pull away from the kiss and he faces toward Izuku, raising your left hand into the air triumphantly, “We’re gettin’ fuckin’ married!!” He shouts and it echoes down the canyon along with the cheers from Izuku and yourself. Joyous warmth fills your chest and all you can think about is how Y/N Bakugo has such a delicious ring to it.

Note ~ Lovelies.. this fic definitely made me have.. feelings. Nothing even close to how emotional I was when I wrote One Life After Another, Forvermore but still, feeelliinngggsss lol. I really do hope that you enjoyed the read, though! And if there are any typos or errors please point them out because I finished and posted this fic to here on literally zero hours of sleep. I really do be just running off of nicotine and sheer fucking will lmao. Anyway, if you read past this note you will be entering "extended ending" territory, so just beware because it's sad. Big sad. I also may be overdramatizing it, but y'all can let me know. I love and appreciate you, Lovelies! <3

𝑨𝒍𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒏𝒂𝒕𝒆/𝑬𝒙𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝑬𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈

The image of you, Katsuki and Izuku fades out until the emptiness that surrounded you when you first ended up here comes back. You’re on your knees as gut-wrenching sobs rip themselves from your chest. If there is a god, just how cruel of a being is he if he’s willing to show you how your life would have played out if you didn’t die? Does he get some kind of sick joy out of making you watch a movie of everything you ever could have dreamed of obtaining if you had just survived.

If you would have lived, would have kept breathing for maybe five minutes longer, the day they found where Shadow Step was hiding you then you could have had all of that. But you didn’t live. You didn’t survive. You died slumped against that wall mere minutes before Izuku came bursting through that damn doorway. Your body had just given up, so fucking pathetically too.

You had stood near your body watching Izuku sob as he performed CPR and you had screamed for him to bring you back. You watched him nearly kill the paramedic as they tried to, respectfully, pull your lifeless body away from Izuku to put it into a bodybag. You watched as the “ever-smiling” Hero Deku held your cold, dead hand the entire way to the morgue with nothing more than a disconnected look on his face.

Later that night, you watched the love of your life stand next to your body with tears streaming down his face as he ran a finger down your cheek. You watched as his face contorted into horrified disbelief and he stumbled over to a trash can in the corner of the room just barely making it there before he threw up whatever was in his stomach. You watched as the man you loved with your entire being cursed, screamed, cried, and destroyed the room until he was on his knees beside where your body laid. You watched as Katsuki screamed at your body that he was sorry, that he loves you, and that he wishes that it was him that was dead. You watched as your Katsuki hoarsely begged you to come back to him even though within his ever-logical brain, he knew that it wasn’t possible for you to come back.

You had never known what happened after someone died.

And now that you do know?

You wouldn’t wish this upon your worst enemy.

Not even on the man that sent you here in the first place.

Tag List ~ @bri-mercado-00 @queenpiranhadon @feral-ratatattat-king @queendynamight2001

Divider Credit ~ @saradika

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ladygojooo · 2 months ago

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Neither Did I, My Dear (Nanami x Reader)

Synopsis: Five years - the amount of time you've been single, in university over in the States, and out of Japan. The amount of time you had to get over your ex.

Somehow, it wasn't enough.

Pairing: Kento Nanami x reader

WC: 2.3k

Content: exes to lovers, alternate universe - no powers, spiraling thoughts, hurt/comfort, angst, angst to fluff, fluffy ending, reconciliation (possibly OOC Nanami)

A/N: I tried, guys, I really did, but no guarantees that Kento is in character. I'm hoping that the more I write JJK fanfics, the easier it'll become to slip into their skins (metaphorically, lol). AO3 link here.

After five years in America, you’d forgotten how light Japan got in the springtime.

You didn’t really know how to put it, exactly, but it’s like you could see the sunbeams between the buildings and trees. You saw all the pastels and lighter colors of passerbys, the bright colors of the stands, the cherry blossoms - all of it was something you lost when you moved overseas for university. America had its vibrancy, sure, but it often was overwhelmingly grey.

Even the peaches were softer and sweeter back in your home country. You smiled at the man running the stand, dropping the money into his hand and walking away with your find. Maybe you could make a nice peach cobbler, that was always your favorite dessert to eat when in the States.

Or, you thought as you were pushed and watched your peaches go flying into the air, maybe it would be better to force the person who ruined the peaches to pay for a new round.

“My apologies,” a baritone voice said, “I didn’t see you there.”

You looked up in spite of the unpleasant leap in your stomach to find him there.

Kento Nanami.

Valedictorian. Salaryman. Wannabe emo.

…and ex-boyfriend.

“It’s no problem,” you said, keeping your head down and gathering your peaches. “I’m not the best at watching my surroundings.”

He stayed quiet for a few moments, and for a brief second, you thought he’d move on and continue walking to wherever he had to go.

It wouldn’t be the first time.

But, much to your chagrin, your name came forth from his lips, and all hope of walking away from this encounter without further interaction was dashed spectacularly.

“Nanami, hey.” Your smile felt more like a grimace, but you’d practiced in front of a mirror long enough to know that it would look fine. “How- how’ve you been?”

“I’ve been well.” He bent down and picked up the last peach, putting it in the bag from whence it came. “I’ve been working for the past few years. It’s monotonous work at its finest, but there’s not much to complain about.”

“I’m glad work isn’t too much for you,” you said, keeping the strained smile on your face. “I know you worked hard to get to where you’re at.”

You both stood, letting the noise of the people moving around you fill the void that was your history.

He looked good. The lanky frame he had in high school had properly filled out, his hair had been cut and made him look professional, and the sunglasses - well, the sunglasses simply added onto the charm.

Not that there was any charm anymore. No. No, absolutely not. None.

“Would you-”

“I’ve gotta-”

You both stopped, caught off guard by speaking at the same time. “You first,�� you insisted.

Nanami nodded in thanks. “Would you like to get coffee sometime? I’d like to catch up with you, if you’re willing.”

Your heart screamed in dread and delight at the proposition. It was everything you’d hoped for since he’d told you that the relationship was over, sure, but-

You’d spent five years trying to find some semblance of normal in the wake of the damage he left behind. Would intentionally meeting up with him undo all of that hard fought progress?

“I-” You cut yourself off and sighed. Who were you kidding? You still couldn’t say no to him, not even after all this time apart. “I’m free next Saturday.”

~~~

After exchanging numbers, texting back and forth sporadically, and figuring out a coffee shop which you both wanted to go to, you finally made it to the following Saturday.

You felt like you were going to puke.

Your nerves felt two seconds away from lighting on fire, which was a stark contrast to your deep and even breaths.

You felt like you were going to puke.

You leaned forward, your forehead touching the top of the steering wheel. Your eyes closed as you breathed yet again. How was this going to go? How could you stand in front of Nanami - purposefully - and not lose all the progress you made in moving on? Have you even moved on?

You felt like you were going to-

“Alright, that’s enough, out of the car,” you told yourself, forcibly yanking your mind out of a downward spiral. You told Nanami you’d be here, and so help you if you skipped out of it because you were afraid of some stupid feelings that should have died a long time ago.

The shop bell chimed brightly as you walked in. It was a quaint little place, one recommended by Nanami himself, and one that you were quite taken by. Maybe you’d swing by here another time by yourself to enjoy it without the dread of talking to your ex hanging over you.

Speaking of, you heard him call your name from off to your right. Situated in the corner away from the other patrons was Nanami, two cups of coffee in front of him.

You waved, and as you drew close to the table, you spoke. “Hey, thank you for getting us a spot. I hope I didn’t keep you too long.”

“No worries. I wanted to make sure we had a spot that wasn’t in the midst of the shop. If I recall correctly, I know we both value peace and quiet.”

You were able to blame the way your eyes darted away from his on hanging your backpack on the back of your seat. It had been over five years since you last had any meaningful conversation with him, how in the world did he still remember that about you?

“I appreciate it, Nanami, thank you.” You smiled politely at him, hoping against hope that you weren’t blushing. “And thank you for the coffee. You didn’t have to do that.”

“Nonsense, I was the one to initiate this outing. It’s only fair that I cover the cost.”

You nodded once and took a sip. Your eyebrows raised in surprise. “Is this a muddy mocha?”

“Yes. It’s still your favorite type of coffee, correct?”

You didn’t have an excuse to break eye contact, but your eyes still glanced down at the table for a moment. Goodness, you hoped your polite poker face extended to blushing as well. “It is, yeah.”

“Good,” he said. You looked up at him through your lashes again, catching the way the side of his mouth ticked up the tiniest bit. You answered his grin with one of your own.

~~~

Much to your surprise, you two had fallen right into conversation like no time had passed. Tales about university, dead end jobs, and daily life were exchanged freely. You got to tell him about your friend group over in America, and Nanami got to disclose all the details about what his friend group in Japan was up to (you dutifully ignored the pang in your heart as you remembered that they weren’t your friends anymore).

“And that’s,” he said chuckling, head tilted back ever so slightly, “how Haibara ended up getting the number of a convict.”

“Oh my gosh,” you laughed, hand covering your mouth so as not to disturb the rest of the cafe with how loud you were. “If you would have told me that sweet, innocent Yu would one day get the contact information for a lady who’s been arrested multiple times for public drunkenness, I wouldn’t have believed it.”

“I still don’t.” Nanami’s voice sounded warm and inviting, just like-

Your laughter turned to sniffles and cries in an instant, and for the life of you, you couldn’t understand why you couldn’t just remain happy. Why did you always have to do this to yourself?

You heard Nanami shift in his seat. “Are you okay?”

His question, so full of concern for your wellbeing, only pushed you closer to tears. You stood abruptly, gathering your cup and your backpack in a few seconds.

“This was a bad idea, I- I’m sorry, Nanami, I have to go,” you whispered, hand still over your mouth and half over your face as you tried to conceal your sudden shift in mood. You hurried over to the trash can by the front door and threw away the empty cup.

“Wait-”

His voice cut off as you pushed open the door, fleeing as quickly as you could.

You idiot, you knew that coming out was a bad idea, but noooo, you just had to go ahead and screw yourself over. All that progress, and for what? An outing you deluded yourself into thinking was a date?

“Stop.”

You didn’t have time to wipe your tears from your face as Nanami cornered you against the wall. The alleyway in which you two stood was abandoned, just like it was the day he broke up with you.

“It isn’t like you to burst into tears like that,” Nanami said, eyes creased with worry. “Please tell me what’s going on.”

“Let me go, Nanami,” you whispered, your head turned to the side so you didn’t look at him.

“Not when you’re upset like this.”

You laughed bitterly. “What makes you think you have the right to try to soothe me? Why start now?” Silence answered you, and you couldn’t help the splinter of your heart. “Just let me go, please.”

“Let me make this right,” he murmured, drawing closer. You shook your head.

“You can’t.”

Only a few seconds of silence passed before you felt his fingers gently take hold of your jaw and turn your head toward him. Two more tears dropped down your cheeks when your eyes met his. He wiped them away and settled his thumb along your cheek, letting it glide back and forth.

“I-” He sighed raggedly. “It hurts me more than ever to see you in pain. What did I do, and how can I fix it?”

You laughed around a sob stuck in your throat and tilted your head back, moving out of his grasp. His hand landed on your neck instead. Your eyes closed.

“For a moment,” you mumbled, “for a moment, I felt normal again. We used to do this all the time, back when we were in school, and for a second, it-”

You paused and breathed before you started crying harder. You already hated that there were tears streaming down your face, but the prospect of breaking down further terrified you. This was the same man who walked away after shattering your heart. You didn’t want to be vulnerable in front of him again.

“Kento,” you whimpered, body betraying you as more tears slipped down your face, “for the first time in five years, everything felt bright again. I felt at peace for the first time in so long, only to remember that this is going to end. We’ll both leave the coffee shop and go back to our regular lives, and that’s ok - it is - but-”

“Breathe, darling,” he said as he rubbed his hands up and down your arms. It had always been a tried-and-true method that he used back in high school to calm you down, but after so long of not having him, it only made you fully burst into tears.

“It’s been five years, Kento, why do you still hold my heart captive?”

You couldn’t see the look of devastated longing on his face through your tears, but you could feel him guide you into his arms again. You felt his warmth and strength hold you as you fell apart for the first time in a long while. You felt him rock you back and forth as your tears soaked into his shirt.

You felt whole again in the arms of the man who broke your heart, and you hated it just as much as you loved him.

Only when your cries turned into the occasional sniffle did he speak again.

“I suppose we’ve both been holding each other captive, then.”

You couldn’t understand what he was talking about. “What?”

Kento shifted, drawing you the tiniest bit closer. His breath was warm where it fanned against the crown of your head. “I’ll be honest - I asked you out today to see if there was a chance you’d allow me to date you again. Ending our relationship was the worst decision I’ve made.”

You pulled away from his chest to look at him, hoping that your face didn’t appear pathetically hopeful. “What?”

His hand came once more to rest on your cheek, eyes flitting between yours. “My heart has always been yours, I just didn’t realize it until you disappeared the week after everything ended.”

“Kento…”

“Please, sweetheart,” he whispered, touching his forehead to yours, “let me win your heart over once again. Let me be yours.”

With his plea came two distinct paths.

The first? You could keep the walls you’d painstakingly built, back away from Nanami, and walk away. The path of your future would be blank and wide open, and you could mold it any which way you wanted. You could pursue further education, found a charity, rescue a dog or two - any and all of it, it was open to you.

And it seemed terribly unappealing.

The second?

Well, you could lean forward and feel the warmth of his lips once more. You could spend more nights together, making dinner and watching tv before leaving for your apartment. You could hold his hand, exchange warm glances, and pepper his face with kisses. You could one day have and hold him, until death did you both part.

And so you leaned forward ever so slightly, bridging the chasm that stood between the both of you.

His lips, slightly chapped though they were, felt so much like home that it took an embarrassing amount of strength to keep standing and not fall completely into him. Kento’s hands found their way to your waist, pulling you impossibly closer as he reciprocated.

“I never stopped loving you,” was the first thing out of your mouth when you pulled away.

He chuckled, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Neither did I, my dear.”

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk fanfic #nanami x reader #nanami kento #jjk nanami #kento nanami #kento nanami x reader #nanami x you #nanami kento x you #kento nanami x you #nanami kento x reader #ahaaaaa #i'm sick and tired of looking at this fic #so here it is in all its (un)glory #let me know what you think!!#please i am but a fledgling jjk author #i am desperate for connection out here #ladygojo writes

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toxic3mmy · 1 month ago

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Star Struck

prompt: you get a message from alex on tumblr

hai lovely peeps <3

this is gonna be a short little book type thing with a few more chapters to come

i hope you guys enjoy!

ps- ill try my best to update this series at least once a week!!!

you mindlessly scrolled through tumblr. yes it wasn’t 2015 anymore but you still used the app religiously. you had a good number of followers, too.

you posted about all the emo and alternative music you were into and not to mention the youtubers who you loved.

your number one favorite youtuber was alexis quackity. you related to him in many different ways. he made you laugh on days you weren’t doing too well. he meant a lot to you, even if you didn’t know him personally and it was all most likely just an internet personality.

still, you found yourself talking about his latest let’s talk streams or even his random tweets. you loved having a community of online mutuals that felt the same way about quackity.

____

halfway across the country, alexis sat cross-legged on the floor of his cluttered apartment, surrounded by a sea of empty takeout boxes and energy drink cans. his eyes were glued to the computer screen, the glow from the monitor reflecting off his square-rimmed glasses. his mouse hand hovered over the keyboard, poised to respond to the endless stream of comments that flooded his youtube channel. his thumbs danced across his phone, scrolling through the notifications that seemed to never end.

it had been a wild ride for alexis since he started streaming games and posting videos under the moniker 'Quackity'. the fame had come quickly, and with it, the adoration of millions of fans around the globe.

sometimes alex would take the time and look through his community of devoted fans. he would use throwaway accounts to simply be unknown for once and just see what there was out there.

his fans were so unbelievably talented. many of them were amazing artists making portraits of him or even writing songs for him. some were even exceptional writers and the fanfiction stories he’d come across were actually pretty good.

amidst the digital chaos, one fan seemed to stand out from the rest. y/n, with her username 'Y/NIsNotHere', had caught his attention with her thoughtful comments and unyielding support. He clicked on her tumblr profile, and there it was: a fan account dedicated solely to him.

her profile was a shrine to his digital persona, filled with meticulously edited gifs, screenshots from his streams, and heartfelt notes about how his content had changed her life. Alexis felt a strange mix of flattery and curiosity. he hovered over the 'send message' button, his heart racing with excitement.

what did she look like? what was her voice like? would she be as amazing as she seemed? with a deep breath, he typed out a simple hello.

granted, he was using a secret throwaway tumblr account so he didn’t expect for an immediate response. and yet, the response still came rather quickly.

Y/Nisnothere: hi! whats up?

emoboy666_: nothing much, just surfin da web. so you’re a fan of quackity?

Y/Nisnothere: yeah im definitely a huge fan. there’s just something about him you know? he’s different, he makes me feel okay

alexis’ cheeks heated up after reading the compliment. he smiled softly as he continued to message you

emoboy666_: i totally get you! it’s nice to be distracted from things

Y/Nisnothere: for sure! so tell me about yourself

emoboy666_: well, im in my early 20s.. im mexican, i love video games and art….. oh and you can just call me A

Y/Nisnothere: well im 21, im also mexican, im also really into all things artsy and nerdy and well, emo lol, and you can just call me y/n :3

emoboy666_: i’m glad we have some things in common! your blog is really cool btw, it’s like a hidden gem amongst the cyber world

Y/Nisnothere: aw thanks! that’s really sweet of you to say <3

emoboy666_: no prob (: so, what are you doing right now?

Y/Nisnothere: oh not much, trying to do homework but getting distracted by tumblr and twitter lol. and u?

emoboy666_: oh same here, what do you study?

Y/Nisnothere: i’m studying art

emoboy666_: that’s awesome! maybe you should show me some of your work sometime

Y/Nisnothere: yeah! id love to (:

emoboy666: me too (:

Y/Nisnothere: (: <3

the two of you continued to message each other practically all night. you were happy to have made a new online friend and alexis was happy to get to know one of his fans.

neither of you truly knew who was on the other end of the phone but you still really enjoyed talking to one another. it was refreshing for the two of you.

you fell asleep with thoughts of your new friend, A

#alex quackity #alexis quackity #quackity #quackity x reader #quackity fanfic #quackity x y/n #quackity smut

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laxmiree · 4 months ago

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[CN] MLQC’s Lucien - Entangling Date - English Translation

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

This post contains a detailed spoiler for a date that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

[Warning]: The content of this date is currently the most explicit compared to other SSR dates and may not be suitable for individuals under the age of 17 (CN server). It is recommended that those who do not meet this age requirement refrain from proceeding beyond this point.

// ⚠️ cw v*re-ish theme, (not heavy) blood, dubious consent, (magic) bondage, strangulation you'll never guess who. Please proceed with caution if you are sensitive to these topics

[Translation Notes]

In here, both MC and Lucien are Snake Demons (蛇妖). Demons (妖 yāo) – (which is sometimes left untranslated as “Yao” or alternatively translated as Monsters) are born when an animal, plant, or even an inanimate object absorbs spiritual energy over a long period and then gains spiritual awareness. They're not necessarily evil and are different from 魔 (Mó)/Evil Spirits. Still, their identity as such beings in this AU is important to remember because it means that both MC and Lucien are indifferent to human standards of morality.

Also in this date, there's a concept of cultivation or "修炼" (xiūliàn), which is a central concept in many Chinese fantasy genres, particularly in xianxia (仙侠) literature. It involves the practice of refining one's body, mind, and spirit to achieve higher levels of power, enlightenment, or immortality. As for other terms… I'll add T/N if there are more specific terms ahah-

And, let me explain a bit about the v*re theme... So, in some Chinese fantasy literature and cultivation stories, consuming others can be a method of cultivation. This practice might involve eating parts of these beings to gain their powers or absorb their essence, which is believed to advance their cultivation level. Although I’m also kind of convinced with what Chuverall said that ‘hunger’ here is a metaphor for another kind of desire or Lucien just genuinely confuses lust with hunger😂

[Pre-evolve call - Wandering Ballpoint pen]

[Subbed Video]

youtube

I highly recommend watching the subbed video! I SWEAR I never heard him moan and pant so much on one date or heck, even in ASMR.

In case YouTube decides the date is too explicit, I also upload it on Twitter.

Also, to avoid the video getting deleted by youtube, I age-restricted it u.u

✂— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

[Transcript Ver]

—[Part 1]—

I'm starving.

I swallow a pile of random 'food' expressionlessly, yet the intense emptiness and hunger are not satisfied in the slightest.

Immense power courses through my body, but it seems as if it is confined within an earthen jar, desperately trying to find an outlet, yet unable to find a way out.

I am well aware that, after four hundred years, I have once again encountered the opportunity to break through the Primordial Spirit stage.

Back then, I devoured the crocodile demon that had occupied the deep pool for hundreds of years, and only after digesting its entire Primordial Spirit did I successfully achieve the breakthrough.

[T/N: Primordial spirit or 元神 (yuán shén) is typically regarded as a higher, more refined level of consciousness or spiritual essence within a being. If cultivated enough, a primordial spirit can gain some consciousness and you can project yourself outward (important for the later part ;)]

[T/N: A breakthrough in cultivation refers to a significant leap in spiritual or martial progress, often leading to enhanced abilities or a higher level of power. It can happen several times.]

I feel the surge of power within me, and now I only crave for more.

Half a country's worth of humans is probably not enough. I still need to find a way to concentrate on cultivation, or perhaps consume another powerful being.

The harsh, blazing sunlight pierces through the cave entrance, casting a bright circle inside the cave.

I squint my eyes, lazily stretching my snake tail towards the patch of light.

The cautious tip of my snake tail ventures only an inch into the light but is instantly pierced by the scorching heat, causing it to shudder and quickly recoil back into the shadows.

MC: …So hot.

MC: I'll think about it later.

The chilly and damp stone cave dispels the scorching heat of the sun. I close my eyes and adjust my position for greater comfort, half my body submerged in the pool water.

There's no need to rush. After all, this scorching summer heat that could kill a demon is a mysterious demon-slaying technique in itself.

??: …

Suddenly, I sense something entering my cave.

It's just that the little creature's demonic power is too weak to stir even a sliver of my interest.

Perhaps because of my indifference, "it" seems to be growing bolder, venturing closer and even approaching my pool.

Slightly displeased, I open my eyes, only to meet with a pair of unfamiliar eyes—deep and brimming with smiles.

??: So hot. May I borrow a corner of your abode, My Lord?

The man's clothes hang loosely on his frame, barely concealing his broad, sculpted chest in a manner that seems almost deliberate as he leans casually against a nearby rock.

[T/N: The use of 欲盖弥彰 😂 This idiom literally means "trying to cover up but only making it more obvious." This implies that his attempt to ‘dress modestly’ is actually drawing more attention to his physique and carrying a subtle hint of deliberate seduction LOL]

Who is he?

Countless lesser monsters inhabit this mountain, and I never pay attention to those I can crush with half a finger.

But perhaps it's because I'm so bored, or perhaps because he carries the scent of my own kind, that I can't help but stare at him for a long while.

Lucien: My Lord, my name is Lucien.

Perhaps sensing the reason for my silence, he smiles gracefully and bows his head respectfully.

Lucien: I have been living in this mountain for many years, always relying on your protection, My Lord.

Lucien: I have expressed my gratitude to you many times before, My Lord, but it seems...

He pauses, his deep and bright eyes settling on me.

Lucien: ...those sentiments have not reached you.

Hearing him say this, I try to recall the countless memories I've accumulated over the years on this mountain, but I can't possibly remember the face of every insignificant lesser demon.

Seeing that I still show no reaction, the lesser demon's face seems to stiffen for a brief moment.

But a seductive curve quickly forms on his lips as he steps into the pool.

His body bends gracefully in the pool as water laps over his waist and abdomen, leaving him glistening wet.

He extends his arms into the pool, seemingly sensing and finding my tail as if guided by instinct.

His cold fingertips gently caress my scales, then encircle my tail and draw it towards his chest.

Water droplets run down his hair, trace the contours of his jaw and cascade onto his chest, mingling with the water dripping from the tip of my tail. Together, they seep through his semi-transparent garment, disappearing into the curve of his waist.

The uncomfortable warmth faintly spread over me, yet his audacious behavior piqued my curiosity. I wonder what intriguing actions this lesser demon can do.

But my somewhat arrogant and silent scrutiny doesn't seem to instill any fear in him.

He nuzzles my snake tail with his face, his lips gently pressing against my scales. After a moment of delicate caressing, he—

Suddenly bites down hard.

MC: …!

A tingling numbness quickly spreads from the tip of my tail. The venom is manageable, and it will take me less than a moment to neutralize it.

Yet, in that fleeting moment, a particularly hazy, green-colored figure forms in my mind.

MC: Are you that little green snake who bit my tail decades ago and then fainted?

—[Part 2]—

=Flashback start=

One autumn many years ago, the sunlight was still pleasant, and I was coiled idly in the mountain, feeling bored to death.

The autumn light stretches endlessly, the entire forest suffused with a lingering pleasant fragrance that makes me coil my body even more lazily.

My demonic aura permeates the entire mountain, utterly unrestrained. The lesser demons cower in corners, none foolish enough to dare disturb my tranquility.

Suddenly, a burst of very weak stings prickled the tip of my tail.

Puzzled, I lifted my tail, only to find a small green snake clinging to it.

It must have tried to feed on my energy but was overwhelmed by the backlash of my demonic power. The little snake has already fainted, but its tiny fangs are still tightly embedded in me.

It's natural for creatures to have a predatory instinct, but such a bold and greedy little thing might eventually develop even greater desires.

I observed it for a few more moments with interest before casually tossing it away.

=Flashback ends=

That blurry green shape in the daylight unexpectedly coalesces into the face of the person standing before me.

Turns out it really transformed into a demonic form.

My tail instantly coils around his entire body, tightening around his neck, and pulls him towards me.

MC: What did you say your name was?

Lucien: [his sexy gasps and breathless voice?#(#+-$(asdfghjkl] My Lord, my name is Lucien.

The venomous fangs in his mouth remain unretracted as if deliberately left exposed to provoke.

I grip his upper jaw, my fingertips sliding into his parted lips, caressing the delicate tips of his fangs.

As I gradually apply pressure, a pale yellow liquid slowly trickles down my fingertips.

A fascination stirs within my heart, and I drive the venom to flow uncontrollably until it overflows my palm.

The labored breath escaping his lips doesn't bring even a hint of fear to the face before me. Those eyes, like mysterious deep pools, draw me in completely.

MC: I remember you.

I lick the venom on my fingertips and then lightly lean toward his lips.

MC: Perhaps devouring you wouldn't be such a bad idea.

Lucien: [x2!] It would be my honor to become a part of you, My Lord.

Venom from his fangs spills to the corner of his lips, adding an inexplicable allure to his serene expression.

Lucien: [X3!!] However... to you, my lord, my demonic power is very weak. Even after appearing before you many times, I never caught your attention.

Lucien: [X4!!!] I'm afraid I can't help you achieve your breakthrough, my lord.

[T/N: Throughout this date, he used a "您" (nín) to address MC instead of the usual “你” (nǐ), which is the formal and polite way to say "you" in Chinese. It is used to show respect, deference, and admiration to the person being addressed.]

His face even bears a hint of hidden bitterness, as if silently reproaching me.

MC: How did you know I wanted to breakthrough?

Lucien: Because in my eyes... all I see is your figure.

Lucien: In the corners you never noticed, I've always been watching you.

Through those deep and unfathomable eyes, I see a reflection of a slender white figure, and her face is filled with disdain and inexplicable emotion.

Lucien: You've protected this place for many years, providing us with a safe haven. So, I also wish to contribute my humble efforts to your cause.

Lucien: I have found a group of remarkable humans who might be able to help you break through your cultivation, My Lord.

Half a country wouldn't even suffice.

I form this sentence in my mind but don't say it out loud.

Facing my silence, he gently smiles, as if he had expected it.

Lucien: What do you think, My Lord... about the 361 demon-slaying cultivators of the Qingping Sect, including the Sect Leader—what should be done with them?

His hushed whispers are carried on a breathy exhale and reach my lips. Sinking into the depths of his dark eyes, I curl my lips into a smile.

MC: Is there more to this than meets the eye?

Lucien: In the past two years, many demon hunters from this sect have repeatedly disturbed the peace in the mountain, and many lesser demons have fallen at their hands.

Lucien: My Lord, you have cast spells in this mountain, clearly not wishing to be disturbed. I merely volunteered to ease your worries.

MC: But those bugs always manage to get in, do you know why?

Lucien: A sophisticated formation like yours, My Lord, is naturally beyond the comprehension of a lowly demon like myself.

Lucien: The Qingping Sect is also a great sect with a hundred years of history; [chuckles] Perhaps there are some mysterious and powerful humans there.

Lucien smiles modestly and looks at me obediently.

I close my eyes, pondering his words over and over.

The Qingping Sect people have been coming to the mountain to hunt demons in summer and winter for the past few years. They must have observed my movements.

When I'm dormant, I'm usually too lazy to bother with such trivial matters. But if it's delivered to my doorstep, there's certainly no reason to refuse.

But with Lucien's cultivation level, it should be very difficult for him to handle such a large sect.

I think for a moment, then fling him away.

MC: So, in a place where the talented and powerful people hide, how are you going to offer them to me?

Lucien: I'm just using a few little tricks. You can inspect it now, My Lord.

His words barely leave his lips when the scene before me abruptly blurs. In a flash, I conceal my demonic form.

✂— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

An unfamiliar Taoist temple comes into view. We are already standing in the shadows of a corner.

I glance around, slightly raise my fingertips, and strangle Lucien's neck.

MC: Lucien, I don't like being controlled by anything else.

[T/N: MC actually called him 小许 (Xiao Xu) here which can be translated into ‘Little Lu' but that sounds odd in EN-]

Lucien: [gasping for breath and hoarsely says-] Perhaps… I was just too eager, hoping I could be of some help to you.

Lucien: [still with his hoarse voice-] I really long to see you happy.

His eyes curve into a gentle arc, showing a certain beauty that is both pleasing to the eye and delightful to the heart.

I let out a cold snort, dismissing him, and step out of the shadows, releasing my hold on his neck.

The scorching sun beats down mercilessly, making me irritable. Just as I'm about to turn around and warn that little creature to make it quick, I sense an unusually strange and mysterious Qi in the air.

In the shadows, Lucien stands still, his deep, dark eyes hiding a gleam.

Interesting.

A spark of interest ignites within me, and I swagger down the road.

Several demon hunters who look quite delicious pass by me. They appear numb, like puppets, and show no sign of panic in my presence.

??: Ah, it's Mr. Lucien!

Suddenly, a young Daoist Priest seems to regain his senses and runs towards me.

Lucien, who is already standing beside me, responds gently.

Lucien: Greetings, Daoist Priest.

Lucien's eyes shimmer with an emerald green light. As his voice trails off, several nearby demon hunters eagerly gather around, engaging him in conversation.

MC: "Do they know you?"

I glance at Lucien and use a spell to transmit the words directly into his mind.

But he merely smiles faintly, and under the gaze of those empty eyes, he leans down and whispers in my ear.

Lucien: [whispers] Some things are easier to erode from within.

Lucien: After all... I'm just a little green snake.

✂— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

—[Part 3]—

Abundant power surges within me. After absorbing and dissolving the last remnants of the primordial spirit, I open my eyes, feeling refreshed and invigorated.

While there's still a long way to go before my primordial spirit breaks through, I won't force it.

The blazing sun overhead reminds me of the day I parted ways with Lucien, leaving me to wonder how many days and nights have slipped by since.

The vastness of time has long since lost its meaning for me.

=Flashback start=

MC: Some of these are for you.

Lucien: …?

Upon hearing my words, he seemed to freeze for a moment, his eyes darkening slightly.

Lucien: If I wanted to keep it all for myself, I wouldn't have invited you, My Lord. All of this is my offering…

MC: You're so long-winded.

MC: Rewards are given for merit; take it if it's given to you. Those are my rules.

I was too lazy to listen to his long-winded speech, so I stood on the steps and looked down at him.

MC: Lucien, I have only one question for you right now.

MC: Aren't you hungry?

Lucien: ….

He stood in my shadow, deeply gazing up at me.

After a long pause, he curled his lips into a bewitching smile, his gaze locked intently on me. He extended his tongue, lightly licking his lips.

Lucien: [the long licking noises!??+$+*+$+] Very hungry, my lord.

=Flashback end=

I stand up and stretch, ready to take a stroll in the mountain and see how Lucien's cultivation is progressing.

He's very clever. In just a few decades, he's not only cultivated into a demon form but also amassed considerable power and even dealt with the entire Qingping Sect.

Perhaps in a few more decades, he could be the final piece I need for my breakthrough.

Just as I am about to leave the cave, I sense an extremely familiar pheromone nearby.

Its owner is cleverly masking their scent within my demonic aura, but it seems they're struggling to maintain the disguise, and faint traces are still leaking through.

I raise my head to gaze at the colossal Buddha statue before me, and then with a swift movement, I stand atop the entwining vines that encircle it. A quick glance reveals a familiar figure—

sexy bgm playing

Lucien: ...!

His dark green outer robe has slipped down to his arms, revealing a large expanse of his back. The slanting rays of the sun illuminate the faint snake scales on his skin.

Gold dust spills from the cracks in the Buddha statue, scattering around him. One of his hands, unable to contain the surging power, has fully transformed into its demonic form.

His broad and supple snake tail is fully exposed, writhing restlessly against the stone statue, creating a subtle rustling sound as it rubs against the surface.

Fine beads of sweat emerge on his forehead, gradually dampening his hair, which clings stickily to his flushed skin and trails downwards.

Lucien seems surprised by my arrival, turning around with a guarded look, his fingers reaching for his shoulder as if wanting to cover up more.

Lucien: [panting as if he's in a freaking heat] My Lord, how could you...?

MC: Lucien, you're really good at finding places, aren't you?

I examine the area around the Buddha's Hand. Lush bushes cover most of the cave entrance, providing him with ample shelter along with my demonic aura.

A small white snake then slithered into the opening of his clothing, making its way up to his face.

[T/N: Remember what I mentioned about how powerful cultivators can project themselves outward—so this white snake is indeed MC but she has projected her soul outward]

Lucien: [x2] I'm fortunate to have your protection.

He pants lightly, his eyes never leaving even for a moment, fixed firmly on my figure.

Lucien: I understand that you needed to focus on your cultivation and didn't want to be disturbed.

Lucien: [while slightly panting] But I haven't experienced many breakthroughs before. I need to focus all my energy on refining my spirit. Last time, I almost got eaten by other lesser demons…

Lucien: [with more panting and huskier voice] Being by your side, My Lord, I feel more at ease and can also help guard against potential dangers for you.

His husky voice sends tingling sensations through me, making me inexplicably feel a bit hungry.

Lucien: [man literally panting with each sentence?!$+($+$asdjfjdkd] I just didn't expect you to be so powerful, absorbing so many spirits in such a short time…

He furrows his brow in what seems like frustration, which looks a bit cute.

MC: Those are still far from enough, but your breakthrough speed is also faster than I thought.

Lucien: [still with the sus panting as if in heat] It's all… thanks to you, My Lord.

He forces a weak smile, seemingly still struggling to suppress the surging power within him.

I know that feeling, the unbearable heat from the inside out, the frantic surge of Qi sweeping through the body again and again, as the soul drifts between fullness and emptiness.

I've always been on my own, so it's quite interesting to witness someone else going through this for the first time.

Lucien's fingertips continue to tighten, revealing an attractive white color.

He seems to be waiting there, waiting for me to disappear. But I don't.

I wiggle my fingers, and the little white snake glides along his burning skin. Every inch closer elicits a heavier, instinctive gasp from the depths of his throat.

The increasingly prominent snake scales seem to be burning, and his long tail coils around the Buddha's hand over and over while continuously trembling.

MC: Is it hard to bear?

He knows she's laughing.

Through his hazy gaze, he sees the girl perched on a nearby branch, like a wisp of delicate white gauze, overlooking him completely.

He can feel the cold little snake mischievously exploring all over his body as if her fingertips were stroking him.

This makes him feel even more messed up.

The power surges within him, more violently than he anticipated, and it's taking longer than expected.

He overestimated her greed, and at the same time, underestimated his own.

A tremendous sense of emptiness drowns him in an instant, magnified infinitely under her wicked gaze.

At that moment, it's as if he forgets everything.

He instinctively follows that surge of intense force, returning to a darker place, where he finds some form of primitiveness and liberation.

A surge of heat courses through him from his chest to his lower body, carrying him from the heights of the clouds to the mist below.

He is obviously filled with a momentary sense of satisfaction, yet a greater emptiness is born. Amidst the lingering white mist, her eyes always remain clear.

Bright, vile, and charming.

As if shining into his greedy soul, allowing him to see the reflection of his face so clearly.

Lucien: [breathing heavily after some kind of ‘release’...but obviously haven't ‘satisfied’ yet-] ….

Suddenly, I see Lucien smile.

He leans against the Buddha's palm, his entire body sprawled out and clothes in a mess. It's as if he's completely submerged in water.

The tense snake's tail trembles as it lifts, gently and intimately coiling around my wrist.

People say snake demons are masters of seduction, but perhaps they are not even one ten-thousandth as good as the person before me.

Lucien: [panting, whispers hoarsely] Teach me... My Lord.

MC: Aren't you afraid that I'll really eat you?

I laugh and tease him. The moment my toes touch the Buddha's hand, a scorching hot snake's tail wraps tightly around my waist, coiling down to one of my ankles.

With a gentle tug, he pulls me into an even hotter embrace.

Lucien: [moans and pants as he whispers hoarsely] Then just eat me.

Lucien: [x2] From the very beginning, I didn't mind becoming one with you, My Lord.

His breath is hot, and so is his gaze. This kind of temperature, which usually makes me uncomfortable, fills me with some kind of pleasure now.

I gently caress his chest, feeling the surge of Qi within him, and can't help but smile even wider.

MC: If you want to be eaten by me... you're still too weak.

Infusing my power into my palm, I gather his power into one place.

At this moment, I realize that I might have left Lucien with too much force. It's no wonder he hasn't fully absorbed such a massive force. It's also fortunate that he has exceptional abilities.

If he were an ordinary demon, his meridians would have ruptured long ago.

[T/N: Meridians (经脉) are the channels through which Qi/vital energy flows in the body, if it ruptures it can lead to death]

MC: Luckily, you've been able to hold on until now.

MC: But... you still need to work harder.

I push my palm forward, dismantling that power and sending it into his primordial spirit.

I feel myself being hugged tightly, his whole body trembling uncontrollably. His snake fangs bite hard into my shoulder and release his venom with a force that feels like a torrent.

The venom he secreted is like sweet honey, devoid of any threat.

When he raises his head again, I see that his deep eyes have become even brighter, as if they have swallowed a thousand surging tides.

MC: How do you feel?

Lucien: [x3] My lord... your body is so cold and feels so good.

His tail coils tighter around me, and his scorching breath falls on my neck.

He seems to have coiled his entire body around me, enveloping me in his center.

Lucien: [x4] You... are very beautiful.

His wet tongue slides again and again across my throat and neck. I feel like his whole body is exuding a delicious scent.

I'm so hungry.

I can't resist the urge to bite his lips. His strong essence is absorbed into my body through our intertwined lips and tongues.

Lucien doesn't resist at all and just hugs me tightly as if devoutly offering his entire being to me.

In an instant, I push him away, meeting his gaze, which seems to hold an air of expectation.

Lucien: [gasping weakly] Are you not going to eat me anymore?

He looks a bit tired, but his lips still rest against mine, like the instinctive nuzzling of an animal.

I don't respond to him, only glancing at him for a moment before covering his captivating eyes with my hand.

MC: Go to sleep.

Just a little longer. If I wait a bit more, he'll be even more delicious, and it'll help me break through even further.

✂— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

[T/N: Fun fact: In real life, snakes intertwine their tails and bite each other when they mate. Why do I mention this? Well you'll see :)]

✂— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

—[Part 4]—

Over a month later, on the seventh day of the seventh lunar month, the evening breeze brings a chill. I stretch and head down the mountain, holding up my skirt as I walk.

I quite enjoy human festivals. Every year, during these times, the lively and interesting rituals make this frail race seem a bit more endearing.

Bathed in the soft glow, a familiar figure dressed in green appears in my sight.

Lucien: My Lord, it seems quite lively down there. Is that the human "temple fair" they speak of?

MC: You've been in human form for decades, and you know quite a few demon hunters from the Qingping Sect. Haven't you ever been to a temple fair?

Lucien: I'm just a lowly demon, so I wouldn't dare.

Lucien: But if I go with you, I'm sure I'll be able to experience some of the fun.

MC: [smiles softly] Are you a fool?

With a grand sweep of my hand, I lead him into the warm and dazzling sea of lights.

I turn to face him, a smile playing on my lips as I tilt my chin up in a challenge.

MC: Since you're already a demon, you can afford to be even more bolder sometimes.

His pupils dilate sharply. The gently swaying lanterns cast a soft, flickering light as Lucien gazes deeply into my eyes. Then, in a surprising turn, he reaches out and takes my hand in his.

Lucien: I will certainly heed your teachings, My Lord.

We make our way through the bustling crowd. Though Lucien seems a little curious about everything around him, he still walks steadily by my side.

Suddenly, he stops in his tracks.

I turn back to see him carefully wiping a jade bracelet on one of the stalls.

The bracelet is a vibrant green throughout, its color rich and translucent, with a subtle, warm glow. At a glance, it's clearly a piece of exquisite jade.

I don't know why, but that captivating shade of green reminds me of his original appearance.

He quickly pays for it, and amidst the vibrant spectacle of festive lights, gently places the bracelet on my wrist.

MC: What are you doing?

Lucien: I saw that other humans seem to do this. Do you like it?

In that fleeting moment, he seems to be imbued with the essence of the human world. His eyes curve into gentle crescents as he smiles tenderly.

In the vast and endless expanse of time, I can no longer remember if the last person who smiled at me like this was also so soul-stirring.

Perhaps, there has never been such a person before.

MC: Though I can't say whether I like it or not...

MC: But you seem to have become even more delicious.

Lucien seems to smile even more happily. For some reason, I think I see the same emotion of mine reflected in his eyes.

But that's probably just my imagination. Despite his greed, he's ultimately just a weak lesser demon.

As we stroll along, the distant voice of a storyteller drifts towards us.

Storyteller: “Continuing from where we left off, the battle between the thousand-year-old white snake demon of Baihua Mountain and the crocodile demon has been at a standstill for a full hundred days…”

Groups of young boys and girls walk together, their faces flushed with shy smiles. An elderly woman calls out, advertising her steaming hot meat buns. Red firecrackers explode, welcoming a bride from some unknown family.

The festive atmosphere surrounds us. Perhaps influenced by the surroundings, I hear Lucien's curious voice.

Lucien: My Lord, are you also interested in human love?

MC: That's the most impermanent thing in this world.

I take a bite of the candied hawthorn he's holding and gaze at the ordinary faces around us.

MC: It might be interesting, but as demons, we live for far too long. So long that...

MC: Such fragile things can't nourish our parched and greedy souls.

MC: But if you're interested, you could always find a human and experience it a little.

I smile and playfully bop his nose.

MC: [teasingly] But be careful, don't let any bad woman trick you, Lucien.

Lucien: You worry too much. I have no interest in those.

Lucien: Because I've already encountered and tasted something far more delectable.

His dark inky eyes hold my reflection captive, as if drawing me into their hidden depths.

Lucien: Lord MC has taught me everything I wanted to know…

Lucien: As one of the same kind.

Later, Lucien takes the initiative to show me around several places. After we've explored the town extensively, fireworks illuminate the deep night sky.

Lucien: Do you know where we can enjoy the most beautiful fireworks?

MC: You've asked the right demon.

With a flick of my finger, I whisk him away to an ancient pagoda that's been sealed for many years.

The airtight walls keep the interior pitch black. The air is filled with the scent of sandalwood, and the faint sound of fireworks echoes like distant bells.

Lucien: It seems... we can't see any fireworks here.

MC: Just wait.

I turn my palm, and in the blink of an eye, the surrounding stone walls suddenly become transparent, as if they were never there.

I pull Lucien to sit at the center of the circular platform. Suddenly, a profusion of vibrant fireworks bursts forth all around us, their carefree beauty so close as if within reach.

The vibrant colors of the fireworks paint Lucien's figure, layer upon layer. For the first time, someone is here with me to enjoy the fireworks, and my heart can't help but fill with a touch of joy.

MC: Humans are so rigid. They think a tranquil place can't also be lively. What a waste of a good spot.

MC: Might as well let these Buddhas enjoy the show too.

Lucien: [softly] Indeed… incredibly beautiful.

As he speaks, it's hard to tell if his eyes are fixed on me or the fireworks behind me.

But beautiful scenery is always fleeting. Soon, the fireworks display comes to an end.

And as I try to stand up, I suddenly realize that I can't move.

Just as I'm about to summon my power, a piercing pain shoots through my entire body. It feels as though some invisible ropes in the air are binding me in place.

While I'm still puzzled, I hear Lucien's surprised voice—

Lucien: ...I didn't expect it to succeed on the first try.

I lift my head, and our gazes collide. His eyes are full of smiles.

His index and middle fingers pressed together, their tips shimmering with a faint light as he swiftly forms an intricate seal in the air.

The instant I see the strikingly familiar gesture, my eyes widen in shock.

MC: ...Why do you know a sealing spell used only by demon hunters?!

Lucien: Humans are rigid, thinking a tranquil place can't be lively. And you demons are just as rigid. Who says...

Lucien: ...a demon can't learn the arts of eliminating demons?

His lips form a triumphant and seductive curve as his cold fingertips caress my cheek.

Lucien: Don't worry, I know my own capabilities.

Lucien: The formation I've set up across the entire town, combined with the second layer of formation at the heart of it, will only restrain you for a short while.

Lucien: [whispers] However, this short time will be enough.

His voice softly weaves into my ears as he holds me tightly in his embrace.

MC: Those places you took me to earlier... were they all part of setting up this formation?

Lucien: That was merely just a test.

Lucien: [chuckles] It was you who said, I could be a bit bolder.

His delicate breath steadily brushes against my neck, making me feel lightheaded that maintaining my human form takes almost all of my strength.

MC: This… this is a Qingping Sect ancient text... You couldn't possibly have had the chance to…

A shockingly unbelievable thought suddenly pops into my mind. I clutch his lapel tightly, my whole body trembling.

MC: So it was you... You found the weakness in the mountain formation and led the Qingping Sect to hunt the demons.

Lucien: Yes, it was me.

All pretense vanishes from his eyes, revealing utterly raw and unbridled greed and desire.

Lucien: Those humans are so easily deceived. As long as I help them kill a few demons, they think I'm a talent worth cultivating.

Lucien: So I had the chance to plant the poison. In just over a decade, they would be completely under my control.

Lucien: And My Lord, you are my best reward.

Lucien: I finally found the opportunity to gain your trust. And with your help, I also obtained the ancient text.

[T/N: I think, her ‘help’ refers to her ‘eating’ the most Sect member which was his offering. Now that the whole sect was gone, he was able to gain access to the Sect's sacred ancient text, which allowed him to learn how to create this formation to trap her-]

His words are incredibly gentle, yet devoid of any warmth. He meticulously plans every step, taking small risks for greater gains. In the end, he uses the entire town as a formation, waiting for me to walk into the trap myself.

MC: Have you been wanting to eat me all along?

Lucien: [whispers hoarsely] I've never lied to you.

He smiles as he presses his cold lips against my brow and eyes, tenderly caressing my lips.

Lucien: [his whispers become increasingly obsessive-] I told you, from the moment you appeared in my life, in my eyes... all I see is your figure.

Lucien: [x2!] A snake wanting to eat another snake… that's normal, isn't it…?

Lucien: [x3!!] I've always, always... wanted to eat you.

*sexy bgm playing-*

Along with his voice, a slippery tail coils around the tip of my own.

As if fearing I might escape, it coils around me tightly from the start. Our scales rustle as they rub against each other, and I feel inexplicable suffocation.

Lucien lowers his gaze to look at me, his eyes filled with undisguised desire. He bares his fangs, teasingly grazing my skin before swiftly sinking them in with a sharp bite.

After a slight sting, a cold liquid is injected into the bite mark. My skin grows hotter and hotter, making the coldness even more alarming.

He probably knows that this bit of venom can't harm me, so he indulges in "tasting" me to his heart's content.

His sharp fangs expertly latch onto the easy-to-bite spots, biting down hard as if he really intends to devour me.

He leans toward me, pressing closer and closer. Our tails are already entwined inseparably; the tips of our hair and the sashes of our clothes are in complete disarray.

I can't summon any power to resist the venom's encroachment. I can only feel the burning heat spreading through my limbs and bones, my whole body trembling uncontrollably.

Lucien: [moaning and panting] I know I can't completely devour you yet, but it doesn't matter…

Lucien: [x2!] I will leave my mark inside your body, on every inch of your skin.

Lucien: [x3!!] Let our breaths entwine... until yours carries the essence of mine.

He bites my lip, his mouth devouring every bit of my moan and wet sounds. His tongue, laced with venom, forcefully swirls over mine, compelling me to swallow every drop.

Lucien: [hisses and groans] Until... the day I eat you.

My head is swimming, all I can feel is his snake tail coiling tighter around me, a tingling heat flowing through my body as something is being poured inside me again and again.

The feeling is too arousing, making me instinctively tighten my body, but also wrapping him even tighter.

The air is heavy with erotic scents, and the sound of our entwined scales rubbing against each other creates an ambiguous symphony of slick and moist noises, intensifying my hunger step by step.

MC: [laughs] The one who should be eaten... is you, isn't it?

MC: Given time, I will cleanse your weak poison completely.

MC: Great, you already look delicious.

Unfamiliar yet pleasurable waves surge rapidly within me, hitting me again and again, causing me to instinctively bite him back.

The cloyingly sweet blood, mixed with venom and clear bodily fluids, fills our mouths, necks, and entire bodies.

Lucien: [groans and breathlessly says] …Then let's see how this plays out.

Scalding sweat trickles down his jaw, blending into my clothes that are already soaked with sweat.

Lucien pushes deeper into me as if even the deepest part of my soul is being imbued with his essence.

Lucien: [moans and gasps] No matter the outcome… we will… become one.

———————Fin——-—————

[Lux's afterwords]

Not much analysis here, this date is pretty much just ‘fast food’ LOL. So, while his obsession towards MC definitely gets amped up in this AU, I do like how it still retains his core like his greediness, curiosity, and obsessiveness/stubbornness though 👀 and the details of them mirroring each other's desire are always so!!!

Although the ending is fairly predictable given his character, this date introduces a fresh element with its unique dynamic where the power balance shifts in favor of MC 😂 It conveys a similar dynamic of the ‘God x mortal’ trope, where the mortals yearn for the love of their God. And despite all the things he did, I really can't help but think that he really is just a hardworking yet stubborn/obsessive little snake HAHA.

His final line! I think… it's the biggest proof that he never really lied to her. His final line on this date reveals that his ultimate goal is to become one with her, whether through her eating him or vice versa, the method or outcome doesn't matter to him. Since he is much weaker than her, it's easier for him to be consumed (which is why he keeps asking her to eat him). However, in case she doesn’t want to eat him, he also has this backup plan. Whether he is to be consumed or to consume her, both scenarios require decades of deceiving humans to first gain her attention. While his methods may not be entirely honest, it is undeniable that he has worked very hard for her and it's a bit endearing🤧 or maybe it's time for me to admit that atp i'll forgive any shits he pulled *kicked*

#WEAR YOUR HEADPHONE PPL #bloody ahhh snake mating scene #the thought that mc also 'helps' him while in her little snake form is... interesting #mlqc lucien #mr love queen's choice #mlqc cn #mlqc spoiler #mlqc #mlqc translation #mr. love queen's choice #mr love lucien #mlqc xu mo #mlqc spoilers

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