#i’m trans masc and identify more as a male thing

[lilgynt]

also killing murdering blowing up my brothers for becoming typical hispanic men when push comes to shove like sure you can talk theory but you’re not gonna help me wash the dishes or care for our parents

[totally-not-an-awkward-okapi]

Fuck it. Post WIP of Zelda Sophonts.

[genderqueerdykes]

hi! as a trans man who is also a butch dyke i just wanted to say: thank you so much for running this blog and showing me i’m not the only person in the world who identifies in this “contradictory” way. it’s funny how other queer people want to exclude us for being too queer. growing up i’ve been called a machorra* by my mom countless times, but just because i’m a guy now i can’t reclaim the slur? like, yes i am a dude now, i’m not even nonbinary, but the fact i used to be a girl really impacted my struggles with sexuality! it’s natural for my past to shape my current identity.

*macho (male) + cachorra (bitch). very derogatory term towards masc lesbians used in brazil. it could be equivalent to dyke.

you summed up how i feel perfectly!

im very sorry to hear your mom called you that. it's so fucked up when someone's own parent calls them slurs. there's no reason she should've called you that. and now people are piling more abuse on top of that by furiously tell you you can't use it now that you're a guy. which is just stupid, nothing about your life has changed except now people are aware that you're a guy. it doesn't change the fact that you've been called that slur before, and that it still affects you

things like that especially when they happen in our formative years are going to shape how we see ourselves and our relationships with others in the world. if we get relegated to being dykes and lesbians, sometimes that's where we go. sometimes that's just who we are or who we become. it's unreal to think that people assert that just because you came out means that you have to stop identifying with the slur you got called and still get called. trans men and mascs get called dykes. transfems and trans women get called fags.

it's as easy as that and yet. anyway thank you for sending this message, i appreciate it! im sorry your mom is like that, but i'm glad you're finding power in reclaiming your identity! feel free to stop by again at any point!

[rivetgoth]

Tbh when posting “transition timelines” I’m often prone to comparing my current appearance with my more boyish period as a teen when I was trying (and failing) REALLY hard to pass, since you can see the more direct “masc glow-up” happening:

But what I don’t post as often are comparisons between where I’m at now versus the weird in-between phase where I said fuck it and started dressing how I wanted at the expense of even feeble attempts at being gendered correctly:

That was a really weird time for me. I assume a lot of people—some family members even verbally confirmed this, lol.—believed I was at the beginning of my detransition arc. I’d been identifying as trans for like ~4 years already but had like just barely turned 18, I was deeply dysphoric, I’d been trying to look Male for years to no avail, but I hadn’t moved out yet and had no access to gender affirming care or the resources needed to transition. What was really going on was that I had grown so tired of futilely smothering myself in hopes of reaching a goal—passing as male—that was unattainable, and feeling like I was being ripped between two facets of myself—the desire to be goth, to go out and meet people at the club, to emulate my heroes and explore my own style and sense of self, and the desire to be a man.

The way I saw it, if I couldn’t control the sex of my body I might as well engage with my body as if it were a canvas for art, rather than an expression of my inner identity/gender. I’d also cling to the knowledge that tons of the men who had inspired me most, including the men who first made me begin facing the reality of my dysphoria and my truth that I was in fact a man, were often mistaken for women due to their own unique and gender-bending styles. And getting to be part of the goth scene, involving myself in the community and going out to concerts and clubs and meeting people, was such a lifeline for me at this time. I felt like it didn’t matter what gender I was perceived as, I was accepted for my love of the music and my style and my excitement about being there. This also, notably, served to reaffirm my confidence in needing to transition, though, since even the most positive and accepting real world experiences did not at all placate my need to change my body. But I digress.

The cool thing is that as I did finally achieve access to the resources needed to transition (I started T like ~4 months after moving out lol) the testosterone was able to catch up to me without sacrificing that sense of self expression, and it was like these two halves of myself that I’d been kind of uncomfortably balancing were able to merge together harmoniously for the first time in my life. I think that’s really neat.

I also realized how much lipstick is NOT my thing :’)

[transgenderpolls]

I also want to say this as a transmasculine nonbinary person that I’ve seen a LOT of trans men be uncomfortable with the term being universalised to include them. Transmasculine started out as a nonbinary label (I think, I could be mixed up) that described enben who were transitioning to a more masculine point instead of a neutral one. Obviously trans men can use transmasculine if they feel like it fits, but still I think it’s best to not just lump us together with the label because there are so many trans men who aren’t comfortable with it (I’ve actually seen a lot of people saying that it straight up makes them dysphoric because they take it as being seen as less of a man)

Same goes for non-transmasculine afab nonbinary people— there’s actually a lot of people calling to just get rid of the terms because they see it as just an indicator of agab. I’ve actually encountered more transneutral afab enben who hate being called transmasculine than I have trans men who hate it. It makes sense, the entire point for transneutral enben is transitioning to some sort of complete middle, or outside of gender alltogether, and aligning them with a specific gender is not only just incorrect but also very uncomfortable and dysphoria inducing for a lot of them. A lot of people also really don’t like the idea of t being ‘transmasculine transition’, which I totally get because I feel the same way when someone says that t is inherently ‘male transition’

(btw this is all stuff I’ve heard from these groups, I’m not just saying what I think goes through their heads or anything)

On a personal note, I also don’t like the universalisation of it because it feels like aligned enben can’t really have a term to describe ourselves— like, being a transmasc or transfem nonbinary person is a very complicated experience, most of us really struggle with this sort of balancing act of androgyny and maleness/femaleness, we’re like an in-beteeen of an in-between and it’s really fucking hard to deal with. It would just be nice if we could have our own label and space to discuss it and help each other with it. But I also get that now a lot of trans men resonate with the term and it would very much be a dick move to just say ‘nope, you can’t use this anymore, fuck you lol’, like, no

idk, I think about this a lot and the topic comes up quite frequently so I have a lot to say on it, but I can’t exactly articulate it, so I hope this made sense sorry

if anyone has sources to show otherwise i'd be happy to see them but i've always been under the impression that "transmasc(uline)" and "transfem(inine)" were umbrella terms first and foremost, with origins in the world of medical transitioning, particularly HRT, that sought specifically to include non-binary people and therefore not imply that everyone going through [medical] masculinization or feminization necessarily identifies as a man or a woman. whether the end goal is conceptualized by the individual as a masc/fem role, it's just a matter of having useful, succinct language to describe shared experience. i really don't see it as denoting agab any more than the term "trans man/woman" does. like if you really are not comfortable denoting your agab at all, it sounds like you're not comfortable talking about being trans period.

as for the binary trans men who hate it i'm gonna be real, i cannot comprehend being mad about someone using an umbrella term simply to address you and others who have significant things in common with you in one breath. i'm a binary trans man and i won't lie, i have had my phase of whining about being "lumped in with non binary people," but like... that's what it was. it was a phase that i'm over because i've grown up and now realize that it doesn't actually dilute my identity to simply have things in common with other people. it would be like a square being mad about being called a rectangle because "you're erasing the fact that i am SPECIFICALLY a square!" literally no, no one is erasing anything. especially not in the context of a poll that's just trying to not draw really arbitrary lines, and which you also literally don't have to answer.

i think it's completely valid to be made dysphoric or uncomfortable by any terminology, but there's a point at which you kind of have to accept that that is a you thing? if a term's literal function is to be inclusive and you feel excluded somehow bc you don't like that you're not being acknowledged as fundamentally different than the others who that term applies to... like i'm sorry, that's kind of ridiculous. you have to accept that it's ridiculous and not anyone else's problem.

also i truly think that if it's coming to contentions such as "just because i'm a man doesn't mean i'm masculine" or ppl otherwise trying to draw hard lines between masc and man/male as definitions... i truly think you are just trying to make this more complicated than it is. like we do need words to describe things, lol.

in any case my thing - at least on this blog - is always gonna be in the context of making polls. firstly i'm working with a character and option limit. secondly, the questions being asked make it sometimes relevant to use some terms that lump groups together, denote agab, etc. the more i think about it, i don't think there's going to be a solution that satisfies everyone, and i also don't think that there's a huge problem with that.

(btw none of this is directed at anon, you articulated yourself fine, i'm just jumping off of your talking points)

edit: irt anon not liking the universalization of "transmasc" - it just occurred to me, would "transmasc nonbinary" not simply work? like it seems to me that you just need to add the word nonbinary and now you're gucci

[dead6ite]

valorant agent sexuality and gender hcs, from a bigender pansexual who is always right

astra:

cis, doesn’t rlly do labels! she thinks ladies are so pretty but is EVERYONES hype woman

breach:

cis, gay gay homosexual gay… uncle who tells u stories about his hoe years

brim:

cishet supportive dad, however, “you should’ve seen me and my buddies back in my military days”

chamber:

god. fucking europeans it’s literally the gay or european thing till i DIE…. anyways he’s bisexual and his gender identity is “i can be whatever u want bbg”

cypher:

he has a wife and kids? ok… he also has crushes on men (cisbi)

deadlock:

i saw her and immediately thought she they. that is the most she they ever. also she becomes physically ill any time a man approaches her (reluctant bisexual)

fade:

MY BEAUTIFUL TRANSGENDER WEED SMOKING GF!!! anyway she is transfem, she/they/night pronouns + bi w a femme lean, and i won’t her… also i can absolutely see her on the ace spectrum, if not aroace

gekko:

NO WAY ITS A HE/THEY OUT IN THE WILD !!! enby identifying, bi with a masc lean bc yea

harbor:

cis gay. astra thought he was into her until he said something like “THATS MY GIRL !! (insert gay slang)

jett:

cis and bi. very masculine in any relationship, even if she’s with a guy. has been mistaken for a guy before and doesn’t mind it. she likes her expression and loves being masculine! she’s like those super androgynous cis people that make you oh so jealous

KAY/O:

110010110101100010100… beep boop he doesn’t do allat. neon told him about neo pronouns though and he likes he/bot

killjoy:

cis bi… she loves her wifey but she’s dated men before, many of which assumed she was a lesbian

neon:

she/they HEAVY femme lean bisexual. thought she was a lesbian for a time

omen:

??? and gay. gender isn’t real and neither is this guy. they/he/it/void kinda fella… also very interested in neos, i’m thinking fade told him about it and they spent an afternoon picking some

phoenix:

cis bi. the most bisexual disaster that ever graced the face of this earth. he’s scared of talking to women, and all his romantic male relationships have been built from fucking with each other and then realizing he has a crunch.

raze:

cis, BUTCH LESBIANS RULE THE WORLD!!! she loves her pretty gf. end of story

reyna:

she’s above trivial things like “romance”. she probably feels sexual attraction, but not much more than that. aro pansexual

sage:

cis lesbian, i definitely can get behind the trans femme agenda w her tho

skye:

cis pansexual femme preference!! she likes everyone, but a preference for ladies…

sova:

he/they gay!!! he’s just a guy who likes guys

viper:

cis, straight, bi-curious. she’s had some feelings in her young life that have been deeply repressed.

yoru:

trans gay. you CANNOT tell me he’s cis. the transness radiates from him, and he has so much gay tension with phoenix it’s thick enough to cut.

[bakugo-softski]

Might get thrown off this site for this but. Fuck it. Hottest of takes incoming:

Feels like im the only one on this planet that is dead fucking tired of labels. Yes, including lgbtq+, gender labels, etc whatever the fuck. I’m so tired of it.

Like. I get it. We were oppressed for a goddamn long time. We deserve to love and be known in that love. Whatever. But honestly i just feel like it only separates and categorizes us even more than we were before.

We’re…fucking human. Why can’t we just…be human? Why can’t that be the defining connection we seek amongst ourselves?

I’m fucking tired of “gender-fluid-aro-masc-lesbian” whatever tf. its 2024 for fucks sake. Aliens exist.

Isnt…isnt it time for, just…

“Human.”

Who gives a fuck how you identify. Honestly.

We’re evolved and collectively traumatized enough by our shared world to be able to not care anymore. I promise. There are more important things.

And NO. This is not some secret dig at pride or whatever. I’m one of you, whatever the fuck that means. I just think its time to put it to rest. Grow. We’re past it, now. We can be past it, now.

If you like someone, you should know by the way you interact with that person, the way their pheromones make you feel, the way their eyes make your insides feel like mush when they look at you. Not if their self identifiers match up seamlessly with your self identifiers. Yknow?

Male, female, MTF trans, with surgery, without surgery. Fuck that noise.

Honestly..how hard would it be to just be like “hey, also-i have a dick, hope you’re into that.”

Anybody can make anybody feel good. Sex parts be damned. Wear whatever the fuck you want and don’t worry about how other people will identify you as- as if you could be identified as anything other than a human fucking being. Half the population have cum-buttons up their ass for a fucking reason, alright?

I just think the world and us human beings would get a lot further in life and love and existence if we threw all that extra shit away and agreed to be human beings together. As if that could be enough..because it could be. I swear it could be.

Trying to figure out who the fuck we all are has made us all crazy. But ill let you in on a little secret.

We’re just fucking human beings.

I swear we are. No other explanation for our existence needed.

[queer-advice-hotline]

Hello Queer-Advice-Hotline,

Thanks for all that you do! Just found this blog and it’s been really educating and helping.

I have a question. I’m nearly 34. Last year I started on a journey of getting to know myself and what I liked, as I spent a lot of my adult life dealing with trauma and resulting codependency issues. I was very femme, the last thing I thought I’d be questioning when I started this was my gender.

I always wondered to wear male clothing and decided one day to explore that urge. (The men’s aisle at old navy is a gateway drug.) I started using they/them and a different name. (The name was to cut ties to my trauma as well as express my gender.) I kept wearing more and more men’s clothing, and that’s all I wear at work and my home. It feels right to me. I am out as non-binary with people, but friends in my life have no clue I dress like a man, sometimes use the “he” pronoun and bind.

I now use he/they. I don’t define myself as a trans man though. I thought for a little while I might be, but have no interest in hormones or surgery. I bind my chest mostly in private and love how it looks and feels, but I think I’d feel more dysphoric without my top half then with them. I like my top half and it’d feel weird to be without it. I also love my bottom half and wouldn’t want to get rid of that either. I look at myself in the mirror sometimes and think “fuck I love my body”. About the only thing I’m super dysphoric about is my voice. I wish it were much lower.

I like the way I see physically look now with just the outside appearance alteration: the masc clothing, short hair, etc. I do often have anxiety about being out to people about my gender. I’m out to my friends as non-binary, but most of they think I’m still femme. At work I dress masc, at home alone, and at one comic store I go to. Most others don’t know. I’m slowly being more open about who I am (and feel great joy in that) but am not fully out. I know that this is because I have a lot of internalized transphobia because of my evangelical upbringing and I’m working through it. I fear rejection. I fear judgement. I worry my change in my identity is because of my trauma, or some head injuries I had in recent years. I don’t feel secure in my place at the queer table. How do you work through those fears? I identify currently as genderqueer trans-masc. I am not sure if I’m allowed to use the terms “transmasc” or the pronoun he”. But I have no interest in HRT or surgery. I worry I’m misappropriating an identity. Is is ok to define myself as genderqueer transmasc and not want to physically transition? Am I trans enough, I suppose is ultimately the question.

Thank you for the help. I’m a really shy person, don’t know anyone in the queer community, and wasn’t sure who to ask.

Surgery, hormones, and any other sort of physical transition are not required to be trans. You can absolutely define yourself as trans masc, genderqueer, or even as a trans man if you wanted to. It’s not misusing the label at all.

You would be trans enough even if you wore dresses, had long hair, and used she/her pronouns. You are trans enough as you are, always.

[1424xgaywolf]

I wanted to share my queer identity with anyone who finds this post. If someone in the community asked me who I am, if they asked for labels, I would say I’m “bisexual abrosexual-abroromantic transmasc nonbinary sapphillean” because they would understand what that means and would (hopefully) be supportive of all of it. I know that there are some transphobic and bi-pan-phobic etc people in the community, and I’ve never understood it. I figured that out of everyone, people in the community would be the most unconditionally accepting and supportive people.

But if someone who either doesn’t understand, wants to understand, or if I’m “testing the waters” to see if they are an ally, then I would most likely just say I’m queer/gay because both of those are umbrella terms that aren’t specific labels. Sometimes I like knowing what labels fit me because it comforts me to know that there are other people like me and that I’m not just a big question mark, but other times I just don’t want labels, especially because I have so many and it just would be so exhausting to have to explain what they all mean generally and how I fit into those labels. If you use labels I will 100% support you, even if I don’t fully understand it because labels are your choice and I respect that. Sometimes though I just wish that the world wasn’t a place that relies so strongly on trying to stuff people into their arbitrary and binary boxes.

I also just want to clear this up for anyone who gets confused, but “male female intersex” are the sex you were assigned at birth, pertaining to your biology and your reproductive organs. “Man woman nonbinary etc” are genders, and gender is a social construct. When I think of the word “female” I think of ciswomen who identify with the gender assigned at birth, as well as trans men, trans mascs, and nonbinary people who were assigned female at birth, because you are still a female. I will never call a trans/nb/etc person a woman if that’s not who they are, but you will technically always be a female because of biology but that is not a bad thing. Same goes for amab people. I’m afab and I realize that there’s nothing I could do to change that, because time travel hasn’t been invented yet lol. I understand that some people might not like the fact that they were either afab/amab because they don’t identify with the gender they were born as, but we as a society need to separate sex and gender because the two are not the same and trying to say they are is an arbitrary and outdated way of thinking.

Furthermore, if you are an older person who uses the argument “back in my day” or “in my generation” for quite literally anything you could use that argument for, I would like to point out that this is no longer your day, this is a new day and trying to say that your day was the right day is like saying we should go back to cavemen time because you’re basically cavemen/women by now. Your days are over and we have already evolved into a generation that is more accepting (though sadly still not completely) of EVERYONE. If you want to try and ignore the existence of queer people, other religions, other races (different than whatever your’s is), then go right ahead because it won’t change a thing. We’ll still exist no matter how you try and squash us and force us into your ways. We are resilient and have been since the beginning.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[theapollosystem]

As a system me and our previous hosts both identify as trans masc. Though i’m trans masc non-binary and he was a binary trans man, he originally perused medical transition getting on testosterone and i continued it.

being trans and being apart of a system can be complicated, the body well was born female but we both have changed it to look more male.

we do have alters who are female, male, binary trans people and non-binary trans people.

As for if a woman headmate were to become host well then she could do with the body as she wants as I am doing. Bodies can be changed to match whatever.

For now in this moment being on testosterone is what I want and top surgery is what we need now. Could that change? Yes

Is that a bad thing? No not at all

We are also not taking resources away from anybody else by transitioning and having me being happy in the body right now

I wanted to talk about this as sometimes people can be confused how being trans works when your a system, truthfully it is really complex

i’m opening to answer any questions people have about being trans, getting on hormones and having gender affirming surgery as a system

[pokegyns]

trans people are cool, I have no problem with trans people or transness, i even loosely ID as trans myself. My only problem is the erasure of sex and sex based oppression, as well as the heavy ~everyone is valid uwu~ rhetoric

It shouldn’t be considered anti-trans to acknowledge sex, or acknowledge that trans women and fems have male privilege, or acknowledge that trans men and mascs are generally less privileged than trans fems bc sex systemically matters more than gender identity. I still consider trans women to be women, but they should have to acknowledge their own male privilege and power over female people

I will always care more about sexism than any form of gender identity based oppression, sex faces inescapable systemic oppression on the same level as systemic racism (im blk&w multiracial before u get on me), gender doesnt.

however its also true that passing privilege is a thing. A trans women who passes as female does face more of the social brutality than a trans man who passes as male. I think for that reason passing trans women should have recognition in feminism.

Passing trans men should be aware of their own privilege over both cis women, non passing trans men, and passing trans women

it is gross and shitty to mock trans women for their appearance in every circumstance 🙅🏽‍♀️

I think there is a problem with OSA trans identifying people who aren’t actually transgender, I’m not a trans medicalist, the term has been used to be transphobic especially to female trans people and nonbinary people of all sexes but especially female. In my experience OSA trans people have freq been sexist and homophobic because they’re not actually queer and just want to try on an identity for laughs. Not all but most. but i think radfems exaggerate the problem a bit.

trans people deserve protections and rights, at the same time, access to places specifically for other marginalized groups isn’t a human right.

this is all so well said!! i believe osa trans people do deserve a space in the lgbt, but a lot of them do genuinely just put on a label to feel more special.

– mod zoroark

[transadvice]

hi, i don’t know if you’re still taking asks about this, but i have a problem. i’ve been id’ing on and off as nonbinary for about 8 years now, and i really don’t know what i am now. basically right now, i’m afab but i feel like i should have been a trans woman. that sounds bad, but basically i have bad physical dysphoria and wish i had an amab body, but i like socially identifying as a woman. my dysphoria’s changed a lot but that’s what it is right now, and i really want someone else’s help with this. everywhere else i’ve looked for advice has used the idea of an afab wanting to be a trans women to be transphobic. i’m not claiming to be a trans woman at all, i just have bad physical dysphoria and it’s affecting my identity as a woman. what do you think?

So, I can see why the “I should have been a trans woman” framing rubs people the wrong way. While I can’t speak for all or even any trans women, I can certainly imagine a trans woman feeling hurt and alienated by the idea that you want to be like her by having more masculine body features. The last thing she’d want is to be defined by features she has dysphoria about herself, and that she feels are incongruent with her identity. Binary trans women would probably prefer to be thought of simply as women.  But I can also definitely relate to the experience you’re describing of having a jumble of conflicting gender dysphorias and euphorias that don’t seem to add up to anything anyone has a label for (yet). In particular, I feel like you’re describing a more extreme version of my own experience of being confused (before I knew being trans was a possibility) that my only option for being “gender non-conforming” as an AFAB person was to have a butch or tomboyish social role, wardrobe, haircut, etc. Yet I felt femme, not butch. I knew I that I felt myself to be gender non-conforming, but I also wanted to be femme. I related to gay men in media, but was made to feel that this was appropriating or fetishizing. I didn’t know it was an option for me to be a man. When I learned that there are trans men who are femme and gay, my mind was blown, and I thought, “That’s me!” My previous idea about trans men had been that they were extra butch and super masc. What I later learned was that the point is that your physical gender identity (the way you expect your body to be) and your gender presentation/social gender role are different things. I didn’t think the physical part could be changed, so I was trying to change the social/presentational part - even though it was actually more aligned with the way I wanted it to be - because I knew I wanted “more masculinity” somehow and it was the only lever I felt I could pull. Once I actually began to medically transition and my body aligned better with my expectations, I was able to relax into a gender expression that felt more natural to me. I no longer felt I had to make my presentation artificially masc in order to “balance out” the unwanted femininity of my physical features. At the same time, although learning about femme trans men was my “way in” to realizing I could be trans, I also have not landed in as femme of an expression as I was expecting. Early in my transition, I thought, “Once I read as male to people, I will do gender non-conforming things like wear makeup and dresses.” Only, I find I don’t really. What actually happened is that as my physical dysphoria was relieved, I simply found I thought less about gender on a day-to-day basis because there was no pain or emergency to resolve.  When you live with dysphoria, it’s really, really hard to figure out your label or identity or ideal presentation. All those things are affected by dysphoria, and it’s really hard to untangle those threads. Resolving the dysphoria can go a long way toward removing one of the confounding factors and clearing up the tangle. It’s fucked up that our trans health care models often require trans people to be 100% sure of their identity before they begin to transition medically, because that’s kind of an ass-backwards way to go about it. If you know you feel dysphoria about certain specific body features, if that feels like the glaring emergency, then that seems like a good place to start working on transition steps; the identity stuff will be clearer after the dust settles, maybe in unexpected ways.  At any rate, “nonbinary” seems like a fine place to land for the purposes of having a label. It’s a useful umbrella term that you can always use to mean “regardless of how I present, my gender identity is not entirely binary, and it’s too complicated to explain exactly how.” 

[nebvlafrost]

◆| New Introduction Post |◆

December 12, 2022 update - for the blog!

...... Welcome!

My names are Nyxien and Nebvla, though I commonly go by Nyxien. I am an 18-year-old Writer and Digital Artist who is busy working on a novel series titled “Black Tides”. I won’t often be active here unless it’s for those very things. I’ve never been comfortable writing my “About me” like this but I will slowly get more used to it.

I love studying Psychology (psychiatry portion), Sociology, and Virology while I’m away from social media, writing, and drawing.

I identify with the gender Agenderfaun. If you haven’t heard of it, it is a demigender (2 genders) where the static part of my gender is nonexistant (agender/genderless), the other half is fluidly moving through male/masc-aligned identities and neutral identities (genderfaun). I use it/its, they/them, and paw/paws.

My other identities include; Gaybian, Aroace-spec (desinoromantic erosflux), Queerplatonic, and Ambiamorous. I am in a polyamorous relationship currently.

I’m a DID System with Borderline Personality Disorder.

I have yet to discover my colourblindness type as it is important for me to know since I am a Digital Artist.

I am a Wolf Therian and Techkin(digital things specifically)!

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Boundaries

Users whose ages fall between 16 and 26 are preferred in interactions.

No pet names or flirting unless we are friends / dating.

Do not involve, or mention, me in any sort of discourse without my knowlege.

No calling me “girl”, “boy”, “woman”, “man”, “enbyfriend”, “joyfriend”- even if it’s joking.

My honorifics are Sir, Mr., and Mx. Use them if you want to, otherwise refer to me by my names.

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Do not interact with this blog if you (are)....

Against Self-Dx on a well-informed level

Dislike, easily triggered, or easily made uncomfortable by heavy themes (Black Tides will have A LOT of these themes and I will discuss them often)

Dream Stan (specifically Dream himself)

Intersexist

Minor(s) under 16

Proshipper/Profiction (fiction can, and will, affect reality)

Racist

Radical Feminist and/or Masculist, including Trans exclusionary and Sex worker exclusionary

Radical Queer (not Radical Inclusionist)

Stigmatize disorders (i.e: calling abuse by a narcissist “narcissistic abuse” instead of what it actually is: emotional / mental abuse)

Support NFTs

Support/are pro-contact Pedophile, Necrophile, Zoophile, or otherwise acting on paraphilias that harm another being, regardless if they are alive or not. (”NOMAP / MAPs” fall under this DNI too because they are still pedophiles)

Transmedicalist

(I genuinely don’t care about anti-endos & anti-mspec les/gay/hets but do not spread your hate on my blog, you will be blocked without any warning should you dare to do it. If you break this DNI, you will also be blocked without any warning.)

[sakrafka]

I'll delete this later and I know the post caption is probably just a cute joke thingie, but I love this piece so much, not only because the art is beautiful but because this is exactly what I'm trying to do with my artwork too, make women into little creatures and it makes me feel so represented! Again I know this caption was more of a "meme" than a serious thing but it still made me happy I know this wasn't the artist's intention and these are my own personal thoughts - this might sound stupid but it took me so long to figure out I was a woman because I never even realised that women can be like this. I don't mean literal werewolves obviously, but it's hard to explain - the fact that you can point at a picture of hairy werewolves dancing and say "girls on their period" instead of "little guys/bro's night". Yknow how everyone looks at a creature/animal and goes "he/him/little guy" assuming that everything is male by default, because people usually only recognise women when they are pink/girly - because womanhood is mostly a performance. Men can exist as they are, they don't have to shave, have eyelashes, etc. and everyone will recognise them as "men", while women have to do this whole performance. You would have to glue eyelashes, boobs and paint an animal pink to make people recognise it as a "she". This is not every case ofc but it's just mostly my experience.

And so for the longest time, I thought in order to be a woman I had to do this "performance" as well, because that's just what womanhood is. And it never felt right, I could never do it (especially as an autistic person, and someone who’s always felt disconnected from their body), which made me believe I wasn't a woman at all. Like most people, I associated women with pink/feminine/babies/girly stuff, because I never had any other representations. I could never relate to this stuff, and when people tried to force me into playing with dolls and wearing skirts and make-up, it just made me hate those things. Not mention the general discrimination and misogyny that women go through, that I too experienced from as far as I can remember, I started to feel alienated from womanhood. I grew to dislike womanhood as a whole and I wanted to get as far away from it as possible. To push myself away from all of this.

Women existing in their natural state - again, I don't mean literal werewolves - but being hairy, fat, "ugly"; I later had to LEARN that women can be like that, that we can look neutral and even masculine. Because when women do this, they get othered… punished, in some way or another. I struggled with my gender for a long time because of this, I identified as nb/trans man for years, but it never fully felt right, because my identity came from hatred and dislike towards womanhood, rather than love and acceptance, it was a way to avoid my past bad experiences. (I DO NOT speak for general transmasc experiences, this is just my personal experience, as someone who didn’t have any representation of their gender and had to figure it out on their own. I’m on HRT now and I’m a happy genderfluid person, I even do make-up and wear skirts sometimes!)

This is why I call lots of my creature-characters and clay figurines "she", because to me, it feels so gender-affirming and makes me so happy to have this kind of representation, as weird as it might sound. With my art, I want to give the representation I never had for fellow gender noncomforming, masc, and ND women like myself, who struggled with their gender and thought they couldn’t be a part of womanhood, and for non-women who, for any reason, just want to reconnect to womanhood on some level.

I’m happy that at the end, I realized women can be so much more. That I can be free. Women can even be hairy werewolves dancing around fire. Being a gender-noncomforming hairy, stinky woman-creature is absolutely my gender and I'm so happy when I see art like this

Girls when their periods sync

[enchantrum]

I know I’m not fully versed in the dynamics of a lot of fandoms, but where you say that people will latch onto terf ideology without recognizing it, is so true. I’ve actually been seeing this in my own life. A friend of mine, who’s a straight passing queer, nonbinary man (he/they), recently ended an abusive relationship with his femme partner in which he was the one being abused, and so many former friends, including trans women, have latched onto this idea that he held all the power because he was a man and a bit older. They’re even engaging in victim blaming rhetoric: “if he’s actually being abused then why is he doing this?” Or “why doesn’t he do that?” And calling any boundaries he sets as “leveraging power dynamics.” It’s really gross. Those of us who recognize the abusive dynamics for what they are, are being accused of siding with an abuser just because he’s a friend. And the thing is people do overlook abuse when it challenges their own feelings towards someone they’re close to. That happens all the time. But here you have people shielding a femme partner from any accountability for their abusive behavior (taking advantage of his money, destroying property, putting pets in danger, triangulating, lying, taking away his personal space) and just deciding that the masc straight-passing man must be the abuser.

I don’t know if this is along the lines of what you’re talking about when it comes to terf ideology - I know terfs are very essentialist - but I think it’s so important for everyone to recognize that no one, including themselves, is immune from engaging in or adopting problematic ideology and acting upon it.

pretty much what I'm talking about and probably one of the most harmful forms of it, because it's obviously damaging this person's life. I'm really sorry that's happening to your friend and I hope they're able to establish a support system of reasonable people. men and mascs aren't really seen as needing support which is part of the problem.

it is rooted in TERFy biocentric ideas of anything "male" = predatory and everything "female" = harmless/prey.

though it's evolved a lot from when I first encountered it. the reasoning was basically that if you're born male you'll always be defined by this wrong maleness. more recently it means anything masculine = performing maleness and maleness being defined as predatory, toxic, needlessly aggressive, etc.

I used to encounter a lot of infantilizing of trans men ("the poor misguided butches" etc) and although there's still some of that, there's a lot more of "HRT and transition makes trans men aggressive and crazy and they're just as bad as cis men."

anyone this loose idea of "maleness" touches is under fire.

on a personal level, after I transitioned my abusive mother tried to gaslight me by accusing me of "male abuse". she tried to go behind my back to talk to my doctors and everything lol. but the thing is her gaslighting, interfering and being a control freak wasn't new, it had been going on for 20+ years. she just has the convenient excuse of my masculinity now because men can't possibly be abused.

we've been no contact for a few years now, thank fuck.

so yeah it's good if you can identify TERFy brainrot when it's seeping into the perspective of those around you.

maybe some people still enjoy the edgy catharsis of "lol I hate men" but it's counter productive if we want to progress in gender equality.

[pinkkevlar]

So, I see the 5d gender chess meme and like it feels weird. Like I planned to play this game or that I have a plan to win it.

The best word to describe my gender is trans femme but I don’t want to claim that because I’m not AMAB. The amount of times I get grouped into trans masc is well, yea. I’m not trans masc except that I am non binary and AFAB and on T and legally male and have had top surgery. Lots of people assume that I am an AMAB person exploring femminity

I my AMAB non binary bae has joked that I dressed like a trans femme egg.

I don’t identify as a woman. I never will. I’m trans in that my body needed to be biologically testostonized for me to feel at home in it. I’m more of a man than I will ever identify with masculinity. But there ain’t a simple word for this and so we say I’m playing 5D gender chess

Like when I’m alone in a room without the world labeling me that I’m thinking about these things. No, with myself I know I’m pink splashed across a page and whoosh with my own style. But that’s not a gender category. So we get 5D gender chess when I’m more of an abstract painting