#i’m sure most of them get off on seeing women in pain too

[exdivine]

male tattoo artists: no one wants to book with me :(

female tattoo artists: completely booked for the next 8 months

[lovegalor333]

˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊✧˚ · .

my bad (paige x reader)

summary: paige accidentally hits you with a basketball and she feels bad so tries to make it up to you.

content warnings: none!

requested by: anon 💗

It was a warm summers evening in Storrs and there was nothing you and your roommate enjoyed more than ending your day with frozen yogurt.

You had walked to the dessert shop on campus, excited for your sweet treats but there was an unusually long line for this time off the evening. There was a group of girls outside of the shop and as you got closer, you recognised them as the womens basketball team.

There was six of them and all of their faces were familiar. Paige Bueckers, Azzi Fudd, Ice Brady, KK Arnold and two freshmen that, admittedly you didn’t know the names of. They had a ball in tow that they were bouncing and throwing to one another and every now and then, the ball would be dropped and it would roll away and one of them would scramble after it. You giggle as you watch the scene unfold, KK shoving herself into Paige, playfully trying steal the ball from her.

The team was somewhat famous on and off campus. They were the most successful womens basketball program in the nation with the longest winning streaks in college basketball, period. And more recently, the current team had shot to fame on social media and you could see why. Tall, muscular, athletic. The appeal was obvious.

You had been to a few games over your years at UConn and often saw the girls around campus and they seemed nice enough so you had no problem with how boisterous they were being while you waited in line.

“Be honest. Smash or pass?” Your Khloe asks you, catching your gaze focused on the athletes.

“Which one?” You ask back.

“I don’t know, any…the blondie?” She says pointing to Paige and you slap her hand down not wanting them to see her point.

“I don’t know.” You say but you do know and your roommate does too.

“Yes you do. That’s your type all over.” She teases and she’s right. That was your type. Tall, blonde, light eyes, athletic, there was no denying Paige Bueckers was your type.

“Whatever.”

“So…smash or pass?”

“Smash.” You say and your roommate grins but before can even roll your eyes in response, you literally get smashed, right in the face.

You’re thrown off balance and stumble back at the impact before you steady yourself.

“Paige!”

Your eyes are screwed shut as a sharp, stinging sensation spreads over your left cheek, that hurt like a bitch.

“Oh my God! My bad ma, I’m so sorry.” You feel two hands land on your shoulders and when you open your eyes, it takes a second for your vision to clear. When it does, you’re met with Paige, inches away from you, hands on your shoulders, a sorry look on her face.

“Does it hurt?” She asks, bringing her hand up to your face to angle it so she can get a better look at her handy work. Your cheek felt like it was on fire, it was definitely red as hell right now.

Your head spun and you wasn’t sure whether it was because of the unexpected impact or because of the beautiful, blue eyed girl with her hand on your face.

“A little.” You squeak out.

“I am so sorry, I feel so bad. You should ice it. I should get you ice. Where can I get ice? Someone get some ice!” Paige rambles out and you laugh at her frenzied words.

“It’s OK. I’ll survive.” You reassure her and she seems to calm down.

“Your frozen yogurt is on me.” She tell you and you shake your head, “You don’t have to do that.”

“I do. I just threw a ball in your face.” She chuckles, finally dropping her hands from your face and shoulder.

“Well, when you put it like that...” You respond, rubbing your cheek in hopes to defuse the pain.

The line moved quick and soon, Paige and her friends were at the counter making their orders and you were up next. Paige insisted on standing beside you until you had ordered, even when her friends went to sit at a table, just so she could keep her promise and pay for you.

“Could we also get a bag of ice for the pretty lady?” Paige interjects after you give your order, “I accidentally smacked her face with my ball.” She over explains and once again brings her hands up to turn your face to the server so he can see the mark, “Look.” She says but the guy behind the counter looks like he couldn’t care less. “I don’t need ice, it’s fine.” You insist and he gets on, adding your chosen toppings to your frozen yogurt.

You’re thankful for your red cheek because the way Paiges slender, slightly calloused fingers held your face so gently and the use of the pet name pretty lady made you blush, hard. You had been single for longer than you’d like to admit so at this point you were touch starved and Paige was feeding you.

She had already started eating her frozen yogurt and as you glanced up at her to thank her for paying, you notice a blob of it on her cheek.

“Um-you- you kinda have…” You point at her face, “some yogurt right here.”

You hate to admit it but you’re mesmerised by the way she flicks out her tongue and wiggles it, trying to swipe the yogurt away.

“It’s still there.” You inform her and she dips her head down, more to your level, “Do you mind?”

Does this girl seriously want me to wipe her face? You thought to yourself.

“Come on, I don’t bite.” She chuckles so you take your finger and wipe the yogurt away, “There.” You say, her face now clean and her next movement makes you raise your brows, taken aback. Her mouth is open, tongue poking out ever so slightly, she wants to lick the yogurt off your finger.

“Seriously?” You ask shocked at her brazen attitude, “You don’t know where my fingers have been.”

“I can only dream.” She smirks and takes it upon herself to guide your finger to her mouth, licking it clean.

“You’re so nasty.” You playfully shove her shoulder.

“A nasty girl who pays for your yogurt.” She says taking your order from the server and handing it to you.

“For real, thank you.” You smile genuinely.

“For real, I’m sorry.” She replies and you tell her it’s fine before turning to leave the store, Khloe waiting for you by the door.

“You’re not sitting in?” Paige asks making you turn around to face her again.

“No, we have…a spot.” You say, referring to yours and Khloes favourite place to eat on campus.

“Ohh, a spot?”

“Mhm.” You nod, taking a spoon full of frozen yogurt into your mouth.

“Where is this spot?”

“I’m gatekeeping.” You tease and Paige pouts exaggeratedly, “Maybe I’ll show you one time.” You offer not actually knowing why you said that and you immediately cringe.

But Paige agrees, “Deal.” She says, holding out her hand for you shake and you do. For someone you only really met a few minutes ago, her hands have been on you quite a bit.

You begin walking to Khloe and by the grin on her face, you know what the topic of conversation will be this evening.

“Wait, how can I reach you?” Paige calls after you, “If it’s meant to be, it will be.” You call back, turning your head to look at the girl one last time.

“I don’t even know your name!”

You shout out your first and last name as you walk out of the shop.

“Did blondie just suck your finger?!” Khloe whisper screams once the door closes behind you.

You laugh, “It was more of a lick.” You say matter of factly.

“But her finger was in your mouth?”

“Yes.”

“Wow…slutting it up in the Fro-Yo shop. That’s the most action you’ve got all semester.” Khloe jokes.

“Alrighttt, not to much on me and my sex life. I’m going through a drought.” You defend yourself.

“Well, from where I was standing, it’s due to get pretty wet.”

“Shut up!”

You and Khloe head to your favourite spot and eat your frozen yogurt like you did most nights. Side by side on the grass, watching the sunset.

Your phone pings from in your pocket and you pull it out seeing a notification from Instagram.

paigebueckers started following you.

Another notification came through almost instantly.

paigebueckers: its meant to be

“Damn, she’s quick.”

˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊✧˚ · .

a/n: please let me know if you have any requests, id be happy to do them! 💋

[wonderjanga]

Barely Human Cap

Imagine Cap as more dollish than human. Even though he’s supposed to be extremely durable/bulletproof, I think he could take major injuries and brush them off. Like at most, it’ll slow him down a bit, but he’ll just go back to fighting. And the reason for think would be that he can’t feel pain. Hence, the whole doll thing. Like, I can imagine the JL is fighting this super strong and powerful monster or villain that’s even giving the powerhouses of the league trouble. They then have to witness Marvel get hit really hard and go flying. Let’s say Flash runs over to see if he’s alright and sees that Marvel’s entire lower jaw is just gone. One of his eyes is also popped out of the socket and he’s kinda just laying there so Flash, rightfully so, thinks he’s dead. That is until Billy moves and tries to pop his eye back into its socket. He succeeds but not to the horror of Flash. He then casually gets up, even brushes off his cape, and starts to look for his jaw. He then finds it and throws it into a pocket dimension all while Barry watches. Then, when the speedster finally snaps out of his daze he immediately rushes over to Marvel and starts bombarding him with questions as if the champion could answer. Thankfully for Billy, an explosion in the distance helps them remember there’s still a super difficult fight going on so he flies off back to the fight. He horrified the other members of the league during this too.

I also feel like there would be other things. (which might or might not actually be canon) Like, I don’t think Marvel has reproductive organs. And I think Billy would say something like this if the situation ever came down to it:

Superman: “Your tiger isn’t neutered?”

Marvel: “No? Why would he be? Also, he’s not my tiger. He’s just a tiger. That happens to be one of my bestest friends.”

Superman: *doesn’t really know what to say to the last three sentences.* “Right… Well, what if he, y’knows another tiger?”

Marvel: “Then he y’knows her. Trust me when I say getting neutered sucks. I know from personal experience.” (He doesn’t, he just knows his Captain Marvel form doesn’t have anything in the lower regions.)

Green Lantern: “You know from personal experience…?” *He looks horrified.*

Marvel: “Yeah, I do.” (Again, he doesn’t) “One day, the wizard called me in and was like, ‘Marvel, come here.’ So I did. Then, he waved his hand, and everything down under was just gone. That was like ten thousand years ago, but it’s still fresh in my mind.” (He made that up as he went)

Flash: “You… You poor soul.” *Pats Cap’s shoulder.*

I also wouldn’t be surprised if Marvel doesn’t have organs in the first place. Like I can see Clark getting constantly jumpscared by Marvel because the man doesn’t need to breathe, no lungs, he doesn’t have a heartbeat, no heart, and Clark can’t even hear muscles straining as he moves so that suggests he doesn’t have muscles too.

I can also see Billy using this to blatantly lie to press whenever they ask about his dating life (he’s like twelve, he doesn’t have nor want one.) or literally anything else:

Reporter: “Captain!” *Runs over to Billy, camera crew following behind her.*

Marvel: *Stops* “Yes?” *Looks between reporter and camera.*

Reporter: “Could we interview you for a few moments?”

Marvel: “Oh uh- Sure!” *Gives a thumbs up*

Reporter: *Gives cue to camera guy to start rolling* “Alright, so are there any lucky ladies in your life?”

Marvel: “Hm?” *Makes the most confused face and looks around to the aftermath of a battle between Black Adam and him. That was what he expected her to ask about.* “I didn’t catch that.”

Reporter: “Are there any lucky ladies in your life? You’re quite a handsome man, Captain. I’m sure you’ve had your share of women.”

Marvel: *Stares at the reporter for a few seconds with that blank, computing expression.* “Uh… no?” Think, Billy! Think! What can you say to end this fast? “I can’t feel romantic feelings for anyone.”

Reporter: “Can you elaborate?” *Holds mic up to his face.*

Marvel: *thinking of how he can make this make sense* “Well, you see I… don’t have a brain! So I’m not really able to feel things like that.”

Reporter: “ -Oh. Uhm.” *Shocked and looking to the camera man before looking back at Marvel.* “Well—”

Marvel: *Cuts her off* “Okay, bye!” *Flies off fast.*

[wyvernest]

Oh my god I saw your requests were open and I love eveything you write<33

I See many fics where Miguel is the one who is jealous, but what if the tables turned and the reader is the one who is jealous, maybe she’s a civilian and she feels like he’d be better of with a spider person who understands his work better? I’d love to see him feel sad that his love feels that way can you tell I like pain lol

Thank you so so much<33 wishing you all the best for your exam! I’m sure you’ll do amazing!

shameless

pairing: bf!miguel x f!civilian!reader

warnings: jealousy, fluff, suggestiveness, public display of affection

summary: you're worried that miguel might be better off with a spider-person, but he is eager to reassure you (and everyone else) that you're more than enough

a/n:thank you and i hope you like it! im thinking of making a part 2 with balcony sex above nueva york let me know if yall would want it<3

divider by @cafekitsune

You are aware of the so called disadvantages of him being your boyfriend.

He is handsome, no doubt. But that means a lot more than being able to watch him work around the HQ, swinging your legs and wondering how you landed him.

It means having unfamiliar eyes linger over him more than you'd be able to tolerate. Flirty looks and remarks thrown at him like he's magnetic, regardless of everyone knowing he's with you.

Even walking through the glassy hallways and cloud scratching towers of Spider Society is a stab in the heart. 

Noticing all the single spider-women look him up and down, eyelids heavy with the seconds that passed as they unabashedly stared at his physique; his broad back, the bulky arms and toned thighs, at the way the muscles underneath his suit rippled with every heavy step he took, not letting his weight drop lazily on each foot but rather walking with the energetic strength of a man with insane stamina.

You couldn't stop a venomous surge of anxiety mixed with the most sour amount of jealousy from dripping into your nerves as you met their gazes, seeing how beautiful and charismatic they all were.

How agile and gracious they were, swinging by just to blow Miguel a fleeting kiss.

And you certainly couldn't stop wondering if he'd be better off with one of them. One of his kind. One that would be able to swing alongside him, to practise with him, to accompany him.

One that would understand him better than perhaps you ever could.

You know he loves you, or else you wouldn't be together. But the idea that he maybe even once looked at all the women lining up for him and thought they'd be interesting to try is gutting you out.

And he starts noticing it.

Of course.

He isn't oblivious to how you straightened your back or curled your arms around his when another spider woman passed you with flirty looks or remarks. How you'd shut down and become awfully quiet when you two would get home following one of these encounters.

He couldn't bear to see you unhappy. Some of the times he even felt the sharp sting of guilt poking into his heart, knowing that he was the reason others were upsetting you.

More so, your bond.

You are heading towards his lab at HQ, walking beside him, heart pounding intermittently with anxiety and bubbling anger. Eyes darting around you swiftly, like those of a feral feline making sure no other animal is preparing to jump her and snatch her food from her.

Suddenly, two flowy silhouettes shoot mile long webs far up into a tunnel bridge, only to drop down and swing right past you and Miguel. 

Purring out a simultaneous "¡Hola, Miguel! Looking good today!", reaching their hands down to him while boasting perfect balance with their webs tied to their ankles, they disappear into the distanced skyscrapers of Nueva York, with echoing giddy laughters.

Miguel doesn't move his head in their direction, already way too familiar with such interactions, and already too interested in hearing only one particular ¡Hola, Miguel! - yours.

Only your focus isn't on him. Your mind is running wild with how talented they seemed to be, how flexible and enticing. Already imagining him, playfully swinging with them, his force and precision perfectly matching their grace and melodic rhythm.

A dance you could never participate in.

What you also fail to see is the frown on his face as he turns to you, intrigued and finally ready to catch you off guard.

"¿Qué pasó, amor?" (What happened, love?) He leaned into you, dragging you by your arm to stop you behind a glass pillar. 

You're hauled out of your reverie, eyes widening in panic as you think of something less pathetic and embarrassing to say than the truth.

"Hm? Nothing, I just think they're nice to look at." You motion with your head the direction the two women swung in, clarifying. "Everytime you bring me here, it's all so … breathtaking." You internally wince at the excuse, pulling the best poker face you could muster.

He takes a deep breath, annoyed but patient.

"You know you can tell me anything." He assures you, voice low and whispered so as not to embarrass you in front of the spiders passing by. He is aware that the place isn't the most fitting for the conversation, but any other time he'd tried to coax it out of you, you dismissed it with a "It's nothing. I'm just feeling off today."

Truth be told, he had his suspicions. He is by no means unacquainted with the ways of women, and without a single condescending bone in his body when it came to you, he wants you to spit it out so you could talk about it. So he could untangle the knots in your heart, the doubts about him and your relationship.

"I know." You reply shortly, something in you dying to snap out and tell him everything, but instead, you shut it down at the last moment and decided to leave it at that.

"Then why don't you?" He looms over you, unintentionally, but you start to feel utterly cornered. Your heart is drumming out of your chest, and you are more than certain he can at least hear it. His face reveals his disappointment, however hopeful and attentive he wants to seem.

And just like that, your fronts break down.

"I'm - Don't get me wrong," you trail off, not looking him in the eye. You feel his warm breath fan over your forehead, getting dizzy from the sudden proximity. "I love this place. All the work you put into it.." Your eyes meet his for a fleeting second. "But sometimes it reminds me of how different I am.", You pause, waiting for a response. When he doesn't interrupt, you continue, "How I don't fit in,... here, beside you."

"What is that supposed to mean?" He looks almost pissed, as if you had told him he doesn't fit in. As if he was the one that didn't fit you.

"I mean I'm not … them. I'm not a spider."

"I'm aware of that." he retorts, ironically. "When did that stop me from loving you?". His tone is scolding. He is trying to maintain an unaffected demeanor so you would keep talking, but inside, his heart cracks at your words.

Your face heats up, surprised.

"It's not that." You have to actively stop yourself from leaning into his body and hiding into the warmth of his embrace, so that maybe all the jealousy and worry will wash away. But he deserves an explanation, now that you've admitted your feelings. "They know a side of you that I can only imagine. How it feels to be…like you."

His face softens, full of love and pity.

"I'm the odd one out here." You spit out, frustrated with his silence. "I can't give you everything they can!"

"I don't want what they have." He answers quickly, sincerely. You find it hard to believe, even though he's never lied to you.

To you, he's perfect. He deserves everything. Everything he could get.

And you're not enough.

"Escúchame." (Listen to me) He leans closer into you, his breath hot on your face. "Estoy enamorado de ti." (I'm in love with you.) "I only need you to be happy." 

You finally meet his gaze, full of consideration and fondness. You pray to whatever god hears you that he means it, because you're too far gone in your love for him to go back now.

"What will it take for you to just relax and stop being jealous, hm?" He whispers, smugly and amused. It's clear that he's flattered with your sentiments and possessiveness, but wants to nonetheless fix your issues.

You feel yourself getting immersed into the scent of him, his body heat radiating onto yours. You don't quite know the answer yourself. He grabs your waist right above your hips, sending shivers up your spine. Pulling you closer to him, he moves his head to your ear.

"What if I kissed you right here, right now? Let everyone know that I love you, and only you."

Miguel was very clearly overjoyed with the excuse to show you some public affection, especially if it meant having you so flustered and pliant beneath him.

"Would that make you feel better? Knowing they'll be the jealous ones now?"

You nod, more or less consciously, lifting yourself up on your tiptoes almost reflexively.

His warm and eager hands on your waist strengthen their grip, lifting you further up against his body as your feet lose contact with the ground, your chest meeting his. His lips are soft and tender against yours, dancing in a slow, passionate kiss. With your eyes still closed, you hear a few gasps near you in the hall; some happily amused, some offended.

But you don't care. All you care about right now is how he's tilting your head to the side with one of his palms at the back of your neck, slipping his tongue into your mouth and deepening the kiss. 

You continue to make out without a care in the world, just for the whole Spider Society to receive a much needed reminder that Miguel O'Hara is taken. 

His hands knead the supple flesh of your lower back, making your hum softly into his mouth, your own arms curling around his neck in a vicious hold.

When you least expect it, you feel one hand descend swiftly, leaving you no time to react as he grabs at your ass hard, so hard you jolt up against him, eyes snapping open in shock.

Without moving his hand, he presses his nose to your pulse point, exhales sultry on the sensitive skin.

"I have another idea."

[florencemtrash]

The Ballad of the Shadowsinger

Azriel x Reader Oneshot

“Because I’m waiting for my mate to call me home.” The Shadowsinger said, “Because I’m waiting to die.”

Warnings: ANGST with a happy ending, mentions of attempted SA and suicidal ideation (they're very brief, but please do read with caution)

Author's note: I finished this at 3am last night and I think it's pretty apparent... buuuuuut I'm going to post it anyway. Enjoy...

The Shadowsinger arrived one winter night, curling into existence on the border of town like cream through coffee. Jadhan was only a boy at the time - painfully human with a broken leg that had never healed properly. The Midlands were a terrible place for a child to grow up - a place where the only thing more unstable than the ground was its sense of safety.

But things changed when the Shadowsinger arrived, bringing with him gold and the brutal violence required to scare off the bandits and murders that slipped in from the nearby Lordship. And when the Lord came for the Shadowsinger’s head, it was the fae male was the one who walked away from the fight. Except it wasn’t a fight. It was a slaughter.

Jadhan was thirty-seven now with three young boys that had come in a cluster, forcing their way into the world one after another. Sasha had never been quite pleased with him for that, but her love for her sons and her husband outweighed the pain and hardship in the end. 

The boys - Mikhail, Alzhar, and Zhik - ran around the tavern, ducking beneath tables and barstools while their height still allowed it. The Shadowsinger watched them with the faintest of smiles as they clambered about, begging for more attention from his shadows. 

There was little known about the Shadowsinger this deep into the Continent, but whispers still passed through the mouths of travelers at the inn. The most common piece of gossip was that he was a Prythian outlaw - banished to the Continent after attempting to kill his Lord. Jadhan didn’t know - and he figured he would never find out. 

The Shadowsinger was so quiet that no one even knew his real name. They all called him Shadowsinger - Shadow for short. He disappeared into the woods at night and stalked into town come morning, but give a shout at any time and he would be there, flying overhead like a black stormcloud. 

“On the house, Shadow.” Jadhan said, dropping the glass onto the sticky counter. Whisky neat, two fingers - just the way he liked it. 

The Shadowsinger picked it up, swirling the amber liquid around like he hoped it would start talking to him, “You say that every night.”

“That’s because a free drink is the least I could get you.” Jadhan tipped his head towards the rickety stage where the local songbirds were setting up. The singer, Phaedra, had her eyes on Shadow, sending love and gratitude his way like a flood, “Phaedra’s been telling everyone what you did for her. You know, with the Morois boy.” 

Shadow grimaced, taking his first sip. He grimaced again. The whiskey was home-brewed and tasted like it. Everyone in town said a shot of the stuff could kill a man, but Shadow was hardly a man, and more shadow than fae.

Lev Morois had had his eyes on Phaedra for a while now. And he didn’t like to be denied anything, especially women. Normally he traveled to the Lordship for his fill, and he would have been better off going there last night. Instead he’d forced his way into Phaedra’s home… and Shadow had made sure he’d never be able to hurt a woman like that ever again. 

“How old are your boys now, Jadhan?” His voice was deep and smoky.

The trio neared closer, as if they knew they’d been summoned. The eldest, Mikhail, nearly crashed into the countertop, forgetting he had to bend down now. A tendril of black shadow shot out, muffling the blow and corralling him back out onto the open dancefloor with the rest of the children. 

Jadhan sighed and rubbed at a burned spot on the counter, “Too old, and growing faster than weeds.” 

It was a sweet pain for Azriel to see the three brothers romping around. It was almost winter and soon enough they’d be wrestling in the frosted fields, shoving snow down each other’s shirts, and hurling it at each other's heads. 

When was the last time he’d seen his brothers? Cassian had stopped by twenty-five years ago, shocked and scared to see Azriel looking so wretched. The next time Azriel’s shadows had warned him, and they’d sent Cassian away.

Rhysand was a different story… he’d never forgiven Azriel for what he’d done - and rightfully so - but that didn’t make the pain any easier to swallow. That didn’t make Azriel miss them any less.

He tossed the rest back and, to Jadhan’s surprise, he let the barkeep refill it.

Again.

And again.

And again.

Phaedra’s voice crooned over the crowd, settling over drunk men and women like a warm blanket until it was time for their sober partners to drag them home. Those who were alone either settled into the hard booths for a nap or resigned themselves to a stumble home in the dark. They’d all make it to their beds in the end - The Shadowsinger would see to that.

He dropped a gold coin onto the counter - triple what the night’s libations actually cost. It was the briefest of stumbles that had Jadhan gripping onto the male’s shoulder and forcing him back into his seat. 

Azriel wasn’t drunk. It would take an ocean of human liquor to get a fae drunk and then some. But he was starting to feel something.

“I got a pinch of ambrose from a merchant passing through.” Shadow’s eyes snapped up to Jadhan, who only raised his hands in surrender, “Hey, hey, hey, I know you don’t drink my whiskey for the taste, so I thought I'd put something in there to remind you of home. Something to loosen you up like liquor is supposed to.” 

The Shadowsinger winced at that word: Home.

“Very well.” He said.

The boys had gone home with Sasha hours ago, and without them running about with their usual compatriots, the tavern seemed dull. Now was no longer the time for dancing and riotous laughter. Now was the time for the sad drunks and those who didn’t want to go home.

But Azriel wasn’t drunk and he desperately wanted to go home.

It was the shame that kept him rooted to the stool like a stubborn weed… that and Rhysand’s promise that if he ever laid eyes on Azriel again, he’d rip the wings off his back. 

Jadhan seemed to understand that about him, leaning over the counter on sturdy arms thick as tree trunks. His leg was still lame, always had been and always would be, but that had never held him back much.

“What’re you doing here, Shadow?”

His hazel eyes flickered up. 

“What’s it been? Twenty-five years you’ve been in town now?”

“Thirty. Exactly.” 

So that was why the Shadowsinger had drank so much that night. It was to commemorate the sad, terrible anniversary of his banishment to the Midlands.

“Don't you think that's long enough? I don’t mean any offense, but don't you have anywhere else to go? Friends? Family?”

The male gritted his teeth and Jadhan had the sinking feeling he'd just poked the bear.

“I thought I was wanted here.” 

“Of course you are. Hell, we’d all be dead or piss poor if it weren’t for you.” Jadhan shook his head, “I don’t know what you’re running from - if you’re a thief, a murderer, a treasonous bastard or all of the above-” 

Shadow flinched, actually flinched, and Jadhan knew it was all of the above.

“But whatever it is,” He continued, “I think you’ve made up for it.” 

Azriel stilled, shadows continuing to swirl around the wet, empty glass in front of him.

How he wished those words were true, but only a human would think thirty years was a long time. They were nothing if not optimistic.

“No. I haven’t.” Shadow said flatly. Silence stretched between them, thick and heavy, until Jadhan finally sighed and went to clear the glass.

“I had a mate.” He whispered the words so quietly, Jadhan almost didn’t hear him. 

His thick eyebrows disappeared into his receding hairline. He didn’t know much about fae customs and the ones he did know about were often violent, strange, or both… usually both. But he had a great deal of respect for mating bonds and understood they were prized above all else to fae.

“Had?” 

Shadow’s lips flattened into a thin line and Jadhan could have sworn his eyes began to brim with years. 

The Shadowsinger nodded stiffly.

“Dead?”

Shadow gritted his teeth and nodded once more, wings drooping low enough to brush against the sawdust packed floor.

Jadhan sighed so deeply he seemed to shrink into himself, and Azriel was once again struck by how quickly humans aged.

Silver streaks were already beginning to color his temples and his leg was getting stiffer and stiffer each day. It wouldn't be long until he was forced to swallow his pride and buy a cane like Sasha had been suggesting.

It seemed like just yesterday Jadhan had limped his way into the woods, calling out for the Shadowsinger with a copper coin clenched in his fist and a bargain to make. 

Kill my father, and I will do anything you ask of me. Anything at all.

There had been such determination in the little boy’s body that Azriel hadn’t hesitated to fold his small fingers back over the coin and then do what he had been told… to do what he’d always been told to do. 

“I’m sorry, Shadow.” He shook his graying hair, “I’m so sorry.” 

Azriel grimaced, fists tightening until they turned pale, “Don’t feel sorry for me. Don’t you dare.”

He frowned, “And why not?”

The Shadowsinger stilled and got quiet again, “Because it was my fault. I killed her.” 

Jadhan, for all his mortal naivete, didn’t look surprised at his answer. He only twisted his mouth to the side in thought before asking once again, "Why are you here, Shadow? Why don't you leave?"

Azriel looked at him, hazel eyes filled with despair.

He would never tell Jadhan this, but he’d always been envious of humans for one thing - they could die of old age. They could be killed easily. So easily that all it would take was one flick of Azriel's wrist and Jadhan would be no more.

Fae were not so easy to kill, and their only end was a violent one. Maybe that was why Rhys had banished him to the middle of the Continent where life was harsh but simple, and fae were nowhere to be found.

No one here was strong enough to kill him. Azriel would know - he’d spent the first five years on the Continent searching for a way to die and getting into so many bloodbaths it had lost its luster.

“Because I’m waiting for my mate to call me home.” The Shadowsinger said, “Because I’m waiting to die.” 

___

There were many reasons Azriel built his house in the woods. Firstly, he liked the privacy Secondly, when the nightmares came, there was no telling the damage he could do. 

Tonight’s dreams were especially violent and cruel to him. 

Elain appeared before him, sweet and delicate as a dove and despite knowing better, he couldn’t help but follow her into the darkness like a fly to a carnivorous flower. It wasn’t her fault - he should have known better than to drag them both into this mess. She’d been reckless, hungry for some semblance of control in this new and strange world, and he had been all too willing to play the role of the selfless knight. 

When she kissed him it felt wrong, but like every other night, he was too powerless to push away. This was how it had happened, and there was no changing that.

She whispered against his lips, “Thank you for coming for me.” 

Azriel’s stomach twisted, because two people had gone on the mission into Beron’s lair, and two people had come out. Azriel had wrapped his arms around Elain’s silky body after saving her, and left you behind.

He followed Elain further, chasing her shimmering pink skirts onto the Autumn Court battlefield where she dove into the grasses and disappeared. 

This was where it truly went wrong. 

He caught sight of you on the hill, blood blooming like roses from where the ash arrows pierced your flesh. Your wings were gone and you leaned too far backward, still feeling their phantom weight against your back. That was what it had taken to bring you down. That was what it had taken for Beron to break you.

It was like a bolt of lightning running through his body when the bond snapped into place. Your bruised eyes shot open and you fought against the chains, horror freezing your heart. 

Azriel would know, because he felt it all.

“AZ! NO!” 

Beron’s ax caught the light as it came down on your neck and this wonderful thing he’d dreamt about for over five hundred years was snatched away from him. 

Azriel shot up in bed, skin slick and suffocating under the blankets. He kicked them off his body, taking big, desperate gulps of air as his stomach and shadows settled down. 

He rubbed his chest, feeling that hollow space where the bond used to be. 

He’d had you for less than a minute… he should have had an eternity with you. You should have had an eternity with all of them. 

On the day you died, Rhys and Cassian had also lost a sister. Feyre and Nesta had lost a best friend. Cassian may have been quick to forgive him, but Rhys could never. He’d already lost one sister. Nothing could have prepared him to lose you too. 

Shadows swarmed around him and he already knew his powers had wrecked the roof once again. Moonlight streamed through the newly made hole in the ceiling, pooling around his shaking form. He imagined it was the Mother staring down at him with her unblinking eye. Disappointed. Angry. 

The mating bond had been utterly wasted on him. 

“I’m-I’m sorry, Y/n.” He gasped out, trembling. He wrapped his wings around his shaking shoulders, as if that would be enough to shield him from what he’d done. 

Once again he was that little boy trapped in the cellar. Abandoned. Unloved. Alone. But this time he deserved it.  

“Please. Please.” He begged. He begged for the madness to take him. He begged for an end to his eternal life. 

“I want to come home.” He sobbed. “Please. I want to come home.”

You stood before him at the foot of the bed - a vision that had arrived three days after coming to the Midlands and never left. You looked at him sadly, your white dress hanging still despite the breeze that flowed through the room. But you didn’t say a word. You didn’t say anything at all. 

___

Jadhan was fifty-five now. The Shadowsinger still came to the tavern every night, drank his whiskey on the house, and left once the songs were over. 

Mikhail had left at eighteen, chasing after opportunities on the edge of the Continent. Zhik had died the year before - the youngest and the weakest of the trio. Not even the Shadowsinger could fight the cold that came for him in the Winter and stole him away before Spring. 

Now it was Alzhar and Jadhan that ran the tavern. Alzhar who poured the Shadowsinger his drinks.

“On the house.” He said, sliding the glass along the countertop. Whiskey. Two fingers. Just how the Shadowsinger liked it. 

“Thanks, Alzhar.” He raised the glass in the air before tossing it back in one shot, grimacing. Either he was getting older, or the whiskey had gotten worse. 

Snow flurried past the windows, more rain than anything else. 

“Happy Solstice day.” The Shadowsinger said with the faintest of smiles. 

“Happy Solstice day.” 

It was no grand holiday in the Midlands, and it certainly could never hold a candle to the festivities that were going on in Velaris, but still, Azriel would take whatever comfort he could get. 

Phaedra had quietly retired from singing, opting to strum along with her guitar in the background. But her daughter led the band now, a vibrant star in the midst of these quiet lands with a smoky voice that was only rivaled by her mother. 

“Happy Solstice day, everyone!” The tavern-goers cheered and a new generation of children shrieked from their spots closest to the stage. “Now I know it’s not looking too great outside, but we all know what dear old, Phaedra says.” 

“Are you calling me old, Miss Devra?” Phaedra hollered, red painted lips turned down in a frown. 

“I’m calling you a dear, Mama. You’re still as young as a rosebud in April.”

“That’s right!” Alzhar whooped. Phaedra winked and blew her future son-in-law a kiss.

Devra’s smile was positively radiant, “Alright, alright well whatever. She says daisies look brightest when they’re down in the shits, but that’s not really the most appetizing turn of phrase now is it?” 

Everyone erupted in a mixture of laughter and cheer.

“Come on now, Dev.” Alzhar called out, “You’ve kept us waiting long enough. Sing!”

She rolled her eyes playfully, “Well since you asked so kindly,” She cleared her throat and began to croon,

“When my mama first warned me you’ve got trouble on your tail, I told her foxes are quick runners and my heart ain’t just for sale. I won’t be wooed by sweet flowers or sugar tea on ice, I just want someone who’ll love me and who’ll never think twice. I’ve-”

The tavern door burst open, letting in a howling blast of night-chilled air tinged with rain and frost. Everyone cringed back except Shadow, clutching at their thick coats and gasping at the sight of the being that came in from the darkness.

The female was anything but cold with her shining, warm eyes and radiant skin. She glowed like she'd been brushed with an otherworldly glimmer. She was sunlight shooting through crystal. 

Dev stopped singing immediately, her hands slipping from the worn out strings with a strangled thrum.

The Shadowsinger stumbled, actually stumbled, to his feet, and the world seemed to fall silent.

Shadows shot out towards her, curling around her legs and licking the hem of her midnight blue coat. She was the moonlit darkness given form, delicate and fierce at the same time. 

“Azriel.” She breathed out, finally giving a name to the nameless fae. “Azriel.” She repeated, still in disbelief.

The Shadowsinger - Azriel - walked forward without a sound, his scarred hands shaking at his sides.

She looked ready to throw her arms around him. Whether it was to embrace him or strangle him was yet to be seen.

Before she could make a move or say anything further, he dropped to his knees, head bowed and trembling. He swallowed thickly, keeping his eyes trained on the floor between her feet like he was scared to even look at her straight on.

If he had been looking at her, he would have seen the horrified shock that parted her lips and widened her eyes.

He pulled out that sleek obsidian blade he carried with him everywhere. The knife seemed to hum, the silent sound reverberating through the room and causing the air above it to warp.

Everyone knew that that knife was as much a part of him as his wings. But he held it out to her now like an offering, wings stretching open so that everyone could see the orange glow of the fire through the thin membrane, and the tendons that flowed through them like rivers.

Alzhar looked to his father in confusion. Was this some fae custom he wasn't aware of? Should they all be bowing to her? Perhaps she was their queen.

But his father only let out a slow breath, shoulders sinking down.

The Shadowsinger was the picture of reverent misery, and he would let her take whatever she wanted for her revenge.

His wings.

His life.

Anything...

Because I’m waiting for my mate to call me home.

That was what the Shadowsinger had revealed to him years ago, and Jadhan had never forgotten it. 

Because I’m waiting to die.

Her beautiful face crumpled, then turned resolute. She ignored the blade, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt and hauling him up to his feet. Azriel’s eyes blew open in surprise.

“You bastard. You absolute bastard.” She said, her silky voice shaking, “I’ve been looking for you for years.” 

“Y/n,” Azriel whispered reverently, “I-” 

She slammed her lips against his, swallowing whatever desperate apology had been about to escape his mouth.

The Shadowsinger froze, then slowly melted into her touch, wrapping his arms around her waist so tightly it was a miracle her ribs didn’t snap. Shadows swirled around the pair in a perfect mixture of light and dark - like moonlight bleeding through winter clouds. 

No one in the tavern could stand to look away. They were absolutely transfixed. Some great power was moving in the world and they could feel it. Magic or not, it demanded to be felt.

When the two fae finally pulled away from each other, gasping for breath, something in the earth seemed to crack open and shake the ground, releasing pressure that had been building for hundreds and hundreds of years. 

Tears slipped out of her eyes, salty and not entirely unwelcome. 

“Oh, Az.” She whispered, cradling his face with one hand and clutching her chest with the other. The Shadowsinger was weeping now, curling into her like a vine seeking sunlight, “How could I have forgotten this?”

He buried his face in her neck, breathing in the scent of elderflower and mountain pine like a man starved. His shadows grew around him, thick and powerful. And before anyone could even let out a strangled gasp, they disappeared with a whisper of smoke and shadow.

You reappeared in darkness, holding Azriel’s shaking body against you like an anchor to a ship. 

“I’m here, Az. I’m here.�� You gently shushed him, tangling your fingers through his hair.

You scanned the room finding nothing but a rickety bed and a dresser in the corner by way of furniture, and a small pile of firewood against the wall.

Moonlight streamed in through the roof and you held out a hand, latching onto the rays and weaving them together so tightly they filled the room with a silver glow. 

“Az.” You whispered, all your attention turned back on him, on your mate. "Az." You gently shook him, pressing fervent kisses to his temple until he finally lifted his eyes.

Azriel looked exhausted, purple bruises shading the hollows beneath his gorgeous eyes. 

“How-” Azriel gasped, “How is this-” 

“Bryaxis brought my body to the Cauldron.” You finished, equally out of breath, “It took him years to put me back together but… he did it. He did it, Az.” 

Azriel closed his eyes, sinking to his knees. This time you let him fall. And you fell with him, climbing into his lap so he could bury his face in your wind-swept hair. 

Home.

You smelled like home to him.

“Promise me." He begged, "Promise me you’re real, Y/n. Please, promise me. I’ll-I'll do anything." He could feel you on the other end of the bond, your heart pulsing and alive. But… he didn’t know if he'd be able to survive if he woke in the morning to find that this was all some terribly perfect dream.

“I’m here, Az. I’m here.” You replied thickly, “I’m here and I’m whole.” You tugged off your coat, throwing it somewhere behind you, and pulled down the neck of your sweater. A thick line of scar tissue wrapped around your throat, one of the many physical reminders of the horrors Beron had put you through. 

Azriel stilled, one hand daring to trace the pale flesh with a feather-light touch. “I… I did this.” 

“No...No.” You whispered, brushing away the moisture that had collected on his cheeks, “You didn’t do this, Az.”

“I left you behind.” His voice broke. “I took Elain and I left you behind. Y/n, I’m so sorry. Please, I’m so sorry.” 

You flinched and closed your eyes. It was one of your worst memories to date - the sight of Azriel’s broken face as the first ash arrow caught you in the back and brought you to the ground. The second was what had done you in, piercing through the membrane of your wings and digging into the ground, pinning you there.

Azriel had only gripped Elain’s golden form closer to his body. He could only fly one of you out, and in that moment he had made his choice and leapt into the sky. 

Azriel felt your emotion through the bond and desperation flooded his system once again. 

He couldn’t lose you. Not again. Not like this. Not when he had so much to make up for. 

“I know what I did, Y/n. I know it was unforgivable, but I swear to you I will do anything you ask. Whatever it takes. If you’ll just give me a chance, I- ”

“Shhhhhhh.” You shook your head, pressing your finger to his lips and silencing him. “I forgive you, Az.” You said, cupping his face.

He immediately leaned into your touch, craving the feeling of your soft skin against his.

“I don’t-I don't want to think about that anymore. Trust me, I’ve spent the last half a century agonizing over it.” You said, smiling without humor.

His hands rubbed up and down your back, tracing the ruined remnants of your wings and silently begging you to explain.

You hesitated, collecting your words and speaking them carefully, “I would have come sooner but… I was so scared and confused about everything. My body didn’t feel like mine anymore without my wings with-'' Your hand flew up to your throat on instinct. 

Azriel gently pulled your fingers away, kissing the pads of your fingertips all the way to your palm, and then your wrist. His lips brushed against the pulsing vein as soft as a feather. It was such a small point of contact, but it grounded you to reality.

 “I couldn’t remember anything. It was like… like I was starting from scratch. Building my life from the ground up.”

Azriel repeated the gesture with your other hand, soft lips skimming over your skin until you shivered, “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” He whispered softly, “I should have been there.” 

“You didn’t know.”

“I should have known.” 

You looked at him for a long time, drinking in the sight of him and refamiliarizing yourself with his face. He did the same with you.

He looked tired and thinner than you remembered, the elegant planes of his face now harsh and sharp. But buried beneath all those years of loneliness, he was still there - your Azriel. The male who never did anything in half-measures. The male who couldn’t help but make some of the most impulsive decisions you’d ever seen in your life, and also some of the most careful. 

Gods, you’d missed him.

You'd missed talking to him and laughing with him. You'd missed the simple joy of being in his presence and the way that the world seemed to fall with hush whenever he entered a room.

“I came for you as soon as I remembered.” You brushed a strand of inky black hair from his forehead, and then flicked him. Hard. “But you just had to go and disappear on the Continent without a trace.” 

That wasn’t completely true. He’d left bloody, brutal footprints for a while, but those had dried up too quickly. 

The smile Azriel gave was weak and dull, but it was a start, “I’m sorry I kept you waiting, Y/n.” 

“That’s alright." You murmured against his lips before kissing him, "You can make it up to me.” 

Azriel’s heart leapt in his chest, and the bond responded in kind, singing louder than a choir of a thousand songbirds. Even after all this time, even after everything, the Shadowsinger hoped. 

“Y/n-” That light began to dim, hateful voices whispering in his ear that he was unworthy of you, that he would destroy this chance at happiness just as swiftly as he’d done the first time, that he would ruin it all, “I don’t deserve-”

“Stop it, Az.” Your words were soft but commanding, “I don’t care about what you think you deserve or don’t deserve. I want you. I want my best friend back. I want you back.” You wiped the tears from your cheeks, “I want you back in Velaris, and if it turns out I’m still pissed at you for everything, we’ll figure it out, ok?” 

You took a shaky breath and Azriel looked up at you in awe. He gathered you in his arms and captured your lips in a softer, more gentle kiss. A kiss that said, I’m tired. I’m so so tired and for the first time in my life I’m going to force the voices that tell me terrible things to be silent.

And it worked for a spell, but Azriel was pulling away again, looking guilty. 

“Rhys-”

“I’ve already handled Rhys.” 

His brow arched up every so slightly. Your guilty eyes flitted to the side.

You loved Rhys like a brother, and you fought with him like siblings do. That was why the last thing you'd done before leaving Velaris was force him to lift the banishment... and then you'd punched him in the face.

“I wasn’t exactly happy with him when I found out he banished you to the Continent. And to the Midlands too. I’ve heard it’s terribly boring here.” 

Azriel smiled, and this time it was a genuine one full of love and relief, “Everywhere is terribly boring without you. And terribly painful.” 

“That’s a very good answer.” You replied, feeling that a great weight had been lifted off your chest.

He held you in a gentle caress, tracing your brow bone and the curve of your lips and committing the feeling of you to memory.

This was real. This was real. This was real.

You both folded in on each other like paper houses laid to rest, until you were tangled up on the floor. There was a perfectly functional bed not even four feet away, but even that seemed like too much effort after everything that had happened. 

Azriel wrapped his wings protectively around you, settling down with his head against your chest so he could hear your heartbeat. You hummed in tired contentment, peppering his forehead with kisses as your eyelids began to droop. 

“I want to go home, Azriel,” You murmured, “I want to go home with you.” 

Home. 

Azriel swallowed thickly, “We’ll leave tomorrow first thing in the morning. I promise.” 

You opened a bleary eye, examining your mate quietly, “Do you not want to say goodbye?” 

Azriel kissed your chest, right over your heart. Thirty years ago he would have said yes. He would have taken time to get his affairs in order and to make sure Jadhan and his sons, Phaedra and Devra, and the rest were taken care of. But things had changed, and he knew that no matter what, they would be alright. They would live and travel and fall in love. If they were lucky, they’d experience the joy of dying in their sleep surrounded by loved ones at the end of a long and eventful road. 

“No. No, I don’t think so.” 

You pressed one final kiss to his forehead, absorbing him in the warmth of your arms. Azriel sighed, hanging onto the golden thread in his chest that wrapped around his soul and bound him to you. 

“They’ll be ok, my love.” You murmured.

And so will we. You whispered the promise down the bond, soft and gentle. 

He closed his eyes, pressing the words I love you into your skin.

“I know.” He whispered to the night sky once your breathing had evened out, “I know.” 

That night at the tavern felt like a dream - the kind that left you groggy and awestruck when you initially awoke, and then slipped away like water cupped in a child’s hands. 

Everything seemed louder than before, even though the townspeople walked about in a contemplative daze. It was the forest. That’s what it was. It hummed more brightly. The blanket of power that had rested over the treetops for decades had lifted overnight. 

No one spoke of the events aloud - they were too aware of the enormity of what they’d witnessed - but they all knew the truth.

The Shadowsinger had finally been called home. 

___

“Quick!” Alzhar’s eldest son, Samu, called out to the twins. They hobbled over as quickly as their stout legs could carry them. 

“Samu,” Niran whined, “I’m tired.”

“Papa said to be back by dark.” Rhaan reminded them all. The only trademark that separated him from his twin brother was the flash of blond through his ruddy brown hair. White-tailed deer they called him.

“I want dinner.” 

“Me too.” 

Samu looked over the hills where the sun was sliding down the sky like rain on a window.

“But we haven’t found the house yet!” He protested.

“We’ve been searching for days.”

“Yeah, we’ve been searching for days.” Niran parroted.

“Of course we have!” He threw his hands up in the air, “Did you really think the Shadowhouse would be easy to find?” He clicked his tongue in disappointment, shaking his head, “Go back if you’re so scared. I’ll look for it myself.” 

Niran and Rhaan looked at each other, identical frowns pulling at their lips. They wanted to prove their worth, but they were still younger than Samu, and their hunger mattered more.

“We’re telling Mama you didn’t listen.”

“I want your dessert.”

“Wait, no. I want it. Can we share?”

“I’m not sharing!”

Samu smiled triumphantly and stomped further into the woods, leaving the twins to their usual bickering.

The little boy sprinted back home hours later, a gleeful kick in his step. The sky was already turned pitch black, but the Mother had sprinkled out the stars like salt to guide him home.

Devra stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips, swollen belly blocking out the roaring firelight like an eclipse. 

“Where have you been?” She gasped out, grabbing Samu’s head and holding him close to her stomach. Samu loved when she did this, convinced that his newest sibling would talk to him first. 

Niran and Rhaan wanted another brother to tussle with, but Samu was hoping for a sister. She could tussle with them too, he was sure.

He ignored her question, grabbing her hand and hauling her back inside, “Papa! BaBa! I found it! I found the Shadowhouse.” 

Niran and Rhaan popped out from their bedroom, clambering after their older brother as he dragged their mother along.

Jadhan and Alzhar looked up with relief. Jadhan’s hair had turned white as snow in his old age and hints of gray were beginning to sprout from Alzhar’s temples.

“Papa!”

“Samu, what have we told you about staying out past-”

“The Shadowsinger left something for you and Baba.”

“What?!” Jadhan sat up straighter, grimacing at the painful twist of his leg. He motioned his grandson closer, helping him climb onto the bed.

The little boy dropped the blue-velvet bag into his outstretched hands, leaning back on his heels with rapt attention. Samu, being the boy that he was, hadn’t opened it on the whole journey over and was now buzzing to learn what secrets it held within.

Jadhan was immediately startled by the weight of the parcel. 

“Open it!”

“Wait! I want to see!” 

“Help me up!” 

Alzhar and Devra relented, picking up the twins and leaning close. Their own curiosity was itching to be satisfied.

Jadhan opened the bag and tipped it over spilling dozens of gold coins onto the quilt. Devra gasped, her hands flying up to her mouth. Alzhar didn’t bother hiding his shock, his mouth agape. 

It was more money than they’d ever seen in their lives, Jadhan didn’t concern himself with it - he hadn’t had to worry about money in a long while. Instead, he picked up the slip of paper that had also fallen out, carefully unfolding it with trembling, wrinkled fingers.

For all the drinks “on the house” and for your son, Mikhail, who traveled to the edges of the Continent and made it possible for my mate to find me and bring me home.

Scrawled on the lower edge of the paper were more words, cramped and small like they’d been jotted down as an after-thought. 

Also, your whiskey is absolutely disgusting. Never let anyone else drink it.

Everyone stilled, watching Jadhan carefully. 

Without warning, the old man tipped his head back and roared with laughter.

Samu leaned back in surprise. His grandfather was a naturally solemn man, and he'd never heard him laugh so loudly and so fiercely.

Alzhar reached for the slip of paper, skimming the words quickly.

"No!" He cried out in disbelief, "Stop! This can't be. Devra, look-"

One by one the adults fell into fits of roaring laughter, collapsing onto Jadhan's bed or onto the floor. Even the boys cheered - confused but happy to be part of whatever story had just finished unfolding.

Jadhan was seventy-one years old when he died, and he died laughing, surrounded by his family at the end of a long road.

Down the street in the tavern, the band was still playing the same old songs, although they were being performed by yet another generation of songbirds. But, there was one new addition to the repertoire.

A song penned by Phaedra and aptly named The Ballad of the Shadowsinger years before her quiet passing. 

It was always the last song of the night. Always. And it ended like this: 

Come Solstice day

Come wind or rain

Now calls the heather

The Midlands will have no reason to dismay

For the Shadowsinger has been called home again

___________

Another author's note:

I feel like I threw in so many new human characters so I made a family tree. Ha!

Also, please enjoy the small essay I wrote last night after writing this oneshot...

From last night:

Listen, some red flags are just pale orange scraps of fabric when you’re an immortal non-human being who’s been alive for hundreds of years. Don’t come for me. I’m so tired. It’s 3am. I should sleep. 

Ok, note from Florence B at 3:16am because I am making CONNECTIONS. Not all of this was intentional, but maybe it was? Maybe I’m just stringing connections after the fact.  Maybe I’m a genius. Probably not, but still. I’m so tired, guys. Why am I doing this right now? I should be sleeping but I can’t sleep so I’m going to do this instead.

Buckle down folks for the essay I am about to write: 

I have my qualms about the ACOTAR books, as I’m sure most people do. Don’t get me wrong, they’re wonderful reads and it’s the series that got me back into reading after college, but they’re not perfect by any means.

One thing I think that gets brushed under the rug (especially given how ALL the batboys fall for girls who are literally in their late teens/mid-twenties - it’s a major red flag but we forgive because it’s fiction) is how DIFFERENTLY fae experience time. LIke, these fuckers live hundreds, if not THOUSANDS of years. The only way they die is if they get killed, like purposely poisoned or stabbed or whatever have you. I tried to write this/touch upon this when Azriel describes how he’s jealous of Jadhan for his humanity and how no matter what, Azriel is stuck potentially living an ETERNITY with the reality of what he’s done. It’s why for me - personally - all the stuff about the mate bond driving males mad or the choice that Rhysand and Feyre make to bind their lives to one another kind of makes sense. Like, if I was faced with an eternal life sentence in a world that was as brutal and cruel as the ACOTAR universe is, HECK YEAH I MIGHT BIND MY LIFE TO SOMETHING/SOMEONE I CARED ABOUT! I’M NOT DOING THIS SHIT ALONE! You’ve gotta retire from the game at SOME point. 

I know I probably made things really confusing by introducing a whole host of human characters spanning several generations (re: the family tree up above), but as I previously mentioned, I thought it was important to do this to contextualize/compare the lifespan of a fae to a normal human. While Jadhan is growing up, getting a job, getting married, having kids, Azriel is still struggling with his banishment to the Midlands and his own sense of self-worth. The line about Jadhan approaching Azriel and offering him money to kill his abusive father who broke his leg was thrown in there later on around the 1am mark. And I didn’t think of it much - I just wanted a reason for Azriel to know Jadhan personally throughout his life from childhood to old age. BUT! Now that I think I’m thinking about it more, it makes sense that Azriel would be able to accept Y/n’s forgiveness so quickly. He sees a lot of himself in young Jadhan and by helping him escape his abusive father(albeit by violent means) and watching him grow up into a strong man and a good father, Azriel’s helping heal his own inner child. 

The kids! Oh my goodness I love the kids so much. Once I threw the first kid into the story I thought - fuck it, we’re going to make the parallelism painfully obvious with Azriel seeing himself, Rhys, and Cassian mirrored in Mikhail, Alzhar, and Zhik. Then of course I had to bring things around full circle and give Alzhar three boys and a girl on the way (yes, Devra is pregnant with a girl and Samu is going to shower her with all the love that Rhys gave his own sister). 

Finally, I’m going to address any comments about Y/n forgiving Azriel too quickly. 1) I feel like it is a universally acknowledged/unacknowledged truth that no one hates Azriel as much as he hates himself. And no punishment could ever be worse than the self-loathing he feels for himself (NOTE: people, if a partner/romantic love interest/friend/crush/whatever EVER says this kind of stuff to you, drop them like a two-ton boulder. That’s a major red flag, but once again this is a fictional man/fae so we can let it slide). 2) Once again, these fae are literally HUNDREDS OF YEARS OLD. I can only speak for myself when I say this, but I feel like if I had known and loved someone for that long, I would be willing to forgive a lot and trust that time might be able to heal deeper wounds than humans are used to. Time is precious to us humans, we can’t always afford to wait and hope for things to get better on their own, but fae can. 

Are those all my thoughts? I think those are all my thoughts. It’s 3:47am now. Oh jeez. To future me: I’m so sorry if you have to read this and it’s bad and you have a coffee-fueled headache all day because I fucked things up for us. 

[jasonsknight3]

Unwanted help

AK jason Todd x sweet waitress reader

Warning: Contains violence, slight gore, aaaaaaand weapons (figured I needed to start putting warnings.)

Gotham had always been a dark place with even darker shadows. A sweetheart like yourself would be swallowed whole, or at least, you should have been. Lucky for you, you’ve only been subjected to unwanted catcalling and unauthorized touches. Most of it happens at your diner job. However, most of the women there waitressing had been there a long time and came to your rescue. Tell them off if you will because unfortunately you are the shiny new toy. Originally you came to Gotham for a college education, and to get away from home. To your dismay you had to drop out. Not because you were dumb or anything it’s just, well, you didn’t have the money. It just didn’t work out. Your life has come to be what it is now. Being stuck in a waitressing job. At least you made good tips and enough money to still live in your apartment.

After a harsh shift you were instructed to lock up the dinner. Which wasn’t supposed to be your job tonight. It required more effort than people would think. Make sure dishes were done, the place was clean, turn off lights, make sure chairs were put up, all the other micro things that added up. As soon as you locked that final glass door you hastily made your way to your bus stop. “No. No, no, no, no!” You cry as you see the bus just pull away from your stop. “Wait!” You shouted running even faster only for your desperation to be ignored. “No.” You weezed as you came to a stop, your hands resting on the top of your knees as you fought to catch your breath. Sitting up you looked around, nothing but an eerily quiet street, dim streetlights, and trash. This could easily become a dangerous situation for you. You weighed your options. Taxi was out of the question, you learned from others not to carry cash on you, you couldn’t go back to the dinner, it was closed and it’s not like anyone could help you there and you boss would tanya Hyde if he saw you sleeping in a booth the next morning, no one you knew was awake at this hour, that left only one option. Walking. Taking a breath you prepare yourself for the journey home clutching your purse close.

Cautious was an understatement of your behavior. Looking around Constantly, jumping at tray cats and trash that crinkled in the light wind of the night. About six minutes into your 15 minute walk an extremely alarming sound of someone crashing on the pavement around an alleyway corner. Shortly after the sound of pained groans followed. Your heart hammered in your chest, should you help? What if it was a trick for kidnapping? Should I just leave? You wandered to yourself. Against better judgment peeking around the alley corner you see a man who was crumpled over on the dirty pavement. The man started to get up on his hands and knees, slightly shaking with a groan. His voice sounded odd. Upon closer inspection you notice this man was wearing a red mask that had a slight glow to it, armor, an interesting jacket, and boots. Along with the gray and black suit was red. Blood. An alarmingly large amount of blood stained his gear. Out of instinct you approach him “sir, I’m here to help. I’ll call-“ a soft clicking sound took your attention to his raised hand that had a gun in it. A small gasp escaped your lips. “Get lost.” The man said the mask does not allow any clear emotion to be heard or recognized. Freezing in place you take a breath and continue to talk to him. “You're hurt, bleeding. I’d hate to leave you like this.” You reasoned. “I don’t need nor want your help. Leave the ambulance out of it too.” An odd request but you didn’t worry too much about it at the moment. “Please, you’ll die if I don’t get you help somehow?” You argued. “Very unlikely.” He was certainly stubborn. “Well…” you thought for a moment. “At least let me take you somewhere safe so you can patch up.” The man didn’t reply this time but he lowered the gun and then put it in its holster.

Sticking your hand out to him you hoped to encourage him further to accept help. He looked at it for a moment before getting up himself with a small growl. His legs wobble a little, automatically you rush to his aid tryi go to ease his strain. In a split second she shoved you off hard enough you slammed to the brick wall. You couldn't help but cough and wheeze. Singly he knocked the wind out of you. You honestly would have fallen flat on your back had the wall not been there. “Don’t touch me!” He yelled falling in one knee from the entertainment it took to push you that hard. Still leaning on the wall you catch your breath and push through the itching pain you felt on your back from hitting the rough brick wall. “I wasn’t going to hurt you. I promise.” You explained quietly. He mumbled something as he got back up and started to walk out of the alley. “Lead the way.” He demanded. Cautiously you walk up to him. “Okay, I’ll do that.” Glancing at him you ask. “Is it alright if I give you a hand? Just to make sure you don’t fall.” A moment of silence passed before he sighed and lifted his arm which you went under and had it around your shoulder and started taking him to your home.

A fifteen minute walk turned into a longer one but when you made it to your apartment and got inside you sat him down on the couch. “Go get a med kit if you have it.” He wasn’t very nice to be honest . No manners or since of please and thank you. In your bathroom you searched all the cabinets and finally found the med kit. How would he use it, you didn’t have anything in there besides bandaids- Neosporin, Peroxide, and some burn cream that was in a little rectangular bag. Well at least it’s something you reasoned. When you were in the living room there he was, helmet off, top gear off, and his compression shirt off. Nothing but skin. Skin that had scars, some flat, some slightly rose above the rest of the skin, heck, some of them even looked like the shape of barbed wire. As if sensing your presents he looked at you. A fairly masculine face, hooded iceberg blue eyes, his face has major scars. One that crossed from his cheek over the bridge of his nose and up, two on his lips, and a big J on his left cheek. “Well…” he said expectantly. When you got closer you noticed in his hand he had a needle and thread already working on sewing himself up. Setting the box down on the couch next to him you step back and watch. With tactical precision he was patched up within minutes. “Got any pain meds?” His voice was a little gravely and tired. “Yea, I have some.” Again you moved from your spot and headed for your medicine cabinet. Searching through it you found it, some ibuprofen. Turning around you yelp as your eyes are met with the stranger standing dangerously close to you. As soon as he had your attention his hand reached out and held your chin tight as he yanked you close. Eyes wide you stare into his own. “Listen well. You keep this to yourself. You never saw me. You never saw my face. If I ever…catch wind that you spouted out you saw me, I will not hesitate to kill you. I promise I’ll make it slow.” His grip tightened just to emphasize his point. “Got it?” In your lack of responding, he nodded your head for you. “Is that a yes?” You managed a yes through your squished cheeks. “Good.” Taking the medicine he let go and headed to the living room. After a moment you follow suit. He was putting his shirt back on, along with his gear. “Wait- you should rest.” You protest, you hate the thought of him not making it home safe. “I can handle myself, lady.” With that he put on his jacket and helmet. Opening a window he looked at you “don’t forget, you snitch, I’ll find you.” His voice modulated. As quick as he came he was gone. In the silence you just stared at the window questioning everything. There was something different about him. As scary as he was part of you hoped he’d come back.

You brought him to your home, your safe space, a place he would start to visit often and just maybe call it his own.

Got motivated to do a quick sketch, had to hide the hands by cropping the photo…😭

@eva-sparda20

[blakeswritingimagines]

KINK LIST With Benjicot Blackwood

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

As soon as it's over, Benjicot is as sweet as honey to you, constantly trying to give you all the love in the world and make sure you're comfortable and relaxed. He'll give you a lot of attention and try his hardest to hold conversations with you, as hard as it becomes. He's also very protective so, if he notices a small little bruise on you, he's gonna worry about it so much and try to gently caress it to ease your pain. If you want to stay in bed a little bit, he'll stay with you too, holding you closely.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite parts of himself are his eyes, he thinks they look very kind and gentle which reflects his personality well. For his partner, he loves your hands the most. He finds them so soft and delicate, he loves holding them whenever he can and kissing them affectionately.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He doesn’t mind cumming on your stomach, chest, or breasts. It feels good to release there, knowing that you will carry his essence around all day.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

One of his dirty secrets...is that sometimes, when you're alone, he likes to play with himself while watching you. Seeing you go about your day, unaware that he's fantasizing about fucking you senseless, gets him so hard. He's jerked off to thoughts of bending you over the kitchen table, spreading those luscious thighs wide open, and pounding into you until you scream his name.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He isn't exactly inexperienced. He's been with some women before, but none of them have ever meant anything to him. With you, however, it's different. There's something about the way you move, the sound of your moans, the taste of your skin that makes every touch feel new and exciting. He knows how to please a woman, and he takes great pride in making sure you're satisfied.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

His favorite position would definitely be doggy style. He loves seeing your ass high in the air, jiggling with each thrust, feeling the clench of your pussy around his cock as he pounds into you. The sight of your tits swaying back and forth, the way your hair falls over your face, it drives him wild.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

In the heat of passion, he's usually quite serious. His focus is entirely on pleasuring you, making sure you're enjoying yourself as much as he is. But afterwards, once the intensity fades away, he might crack a joke or two. He loves seeing that playful side of yours come out, the one that laughs at his silly antics and teases him right back.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He keeps his hair neat and trimmed, usually styled in a simple yet elegant manner. It matches the rest of him – clean-cut, attractive. But underneath those clothes lies another story. He's got plenty of growing muscle hidden beneath his armor, toned from years of training and combat.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

When it comes to intimacy, he tries to make it as special as possible. Whether it's lighting candles, playing soft music, or whispering sweet words in your ear, he wants you to feel cherished and adored. He takes his time exploring your body, savoring every curve and crevice, determined to bring you to heights of pleasure you've never known before.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

When he masturbates, it's often late at night when everyone else is asleep. He'd lie in bed, hands roaming over his own body as he thinks about you - your smile, your laugh, the way you look when you're caught off guard by desire. He strokes himself slowly at first, imagining those soft lips wrapped around his throbbing member instead of just his own hand.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He has a few kinks that he's not necessarily proud of, but can't help indulging in now and then. One of them is voyeurism - getting turned on by watching you undress or touch yourself when you think no one's looking. Another is a bit of light bondage - maybe tying your wrists together with a silk scarf, pinning you down and taking control until you're begging for release. And let's not forget his love of dirty talk - describing in vivid detail exactly what he wants to do to you, how he wants to make you feel.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

His favorite place to make love to you is probably the four-poster bed in his chambers. The massive wooden frame provides a sense of grandeur, and the plush mattresses ensure a comfortable ride. But he also enjoys taking you outdoors, finding secluded spots amidst the rolling hills and verdant forests surrounding his home. Sometimes he'll lay you down on a blanket spread across the grass, making love to you under the open sky with nothing but the sounds of nature for company.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

The sight of you, glowing and panting, is enough to get him hard in seconds flat. But there are certain things that really turn him on - like seeing you dressed up provocatively in lingerie or high heels; hearing you moan his name as he thrusts into you; feeling your nails digging into his back as he claims your mouth with his own. And don't even get him started on the idea of dominating you completely - taking charge, telling you exactly what he wants from you and how he wants it done.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

There are a few things that would definitely turn him off. For starters, he hates it when someone tries to use him solely for their own pleasure without reciprocating. He needs to know you're enjoying yourself too, otherwise it feels empty and unsatisfying. He's also not a fan of public displays of affection, preferring to keep his intimate moments private. And finally, he draws the line at anything involving pain or humiliation for its own sake - if it's not consensual or serves some greater purpose, he's not interested.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Benjicot is quite skilled with his tongue, able to bring you to climax with ease. He loves the taste of your arousal, savoring every drop as he laps at your folds before delving deeper to stimulate your clit. He's particularly fond of going down on you after you've come hard on his cock, drinking down your juices as he continues to pleasure you with his mouth and fingers. In return, he adores having your mouth on him, craving the warmth and wetness as you take him deep, your tongue swirling around his shaft and teasing the sensitive underside.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

It depends on the situation and mood. When you're alone and have all night ahead of you, he tends towards slow and sensual – lingering kisses, gentle touches that tease rather than satisfy immediately. But once he's inside you, his pace quickens considerably – long powerful strokes designed to hit all your sweet spots over and over again until you're writhing beneath him in pleasure. If time is limited or you're caught up in passion, however, he can be quite rough – pounding into you fiercely as he chases his own release.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He doesn't mind a quickie now and then, especially if they're caught up in the heat of the moment or pressed for time. But he prefers to take his time with you whenever possible – he finds true satisfaction in exploring every inch of you slowly, savoring each reaction and response. That said, he knows life doesn't always allow for leisurely lovemaking sessions... which is why he's learned to make the most out of whatever time they have together.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Ben is definitely game to experiment and willing to take risks when it comes to your sexual encounters. He loves pushing boundaries – trying new positions, introducing toys or restraints into the playtime, even roleplaying scenarios that might seem far-fetched at first glance. As long as it's something you're both comfortable with and enjoy doing together, he's ready for anything.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He has impressive stamina, able to maintain his performance for several rounds without tiring easily. His endurance allows him to prolong the pleasure – whether it's taking you over and over again or keeping you satisfied with oral sex until you're both exhausted. He takes pride in being able to please you for hours on end if necessary.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He owns a variety of toys, including vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, handcuffs and blindfolds. He enjoys using them on himself occasionally - especially when he wants to experience something different or needs some extra stimulation. He also uses them on you sometimes – either during regular lovemaking sessions or when you're feeling particularly adventurous.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He does enjoy teasing you now and then, finding delight in leaving you wanting more before finally granting your desires. This could mean denying you orgasm until he decides you've earned it, or deliberately focusing attention on your erogenous zones just enough to keep you on edge without fully satisfying you. He finds the anticipation and desperation you feel in those moments incredibly arousing.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He isn't shy about making noise during sex – moans, groans, gasps of pleasure or pain, depending on what feels good to him at the time. Sometimes he'll whisper dirty words in your ear or growl encouragingly against your skin as he thrusts into you. The louder noises tend to come when he's close to climax.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

In addition to his physical prowess, Benjicot also possesses a sharp wit and a dry sense of humor. He's known to crack jokes during intimate moments – whether it's making light-hearted comments about the positions or quipping sarcastically when things get too intense. It helps keep things fun and lighthearted despite the raw passion between you.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

His cock is 7 inches long, uncut with a slight curve towards the tip. It's always hard and leaking pre-cum. He always has a thick load of creamy white cum that drips out when he orgasms.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is exceptionally high – he craves intimacy and satisfaction constantly. Even when you aren't actively engaged in lovemaking, he often finds himself thinking about how much he wants you – what he'd do given half a chance to satisfy his urges. It fuels his desire to please you every time they come together physically.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He tends to fall asleep fairly quickly after sex – exhaustion setting in from the intensity of their activities combined with the deep relaxation that follows release. His body still tingles with lingering sensations as he drifts off, leaving you alone in bed with thoughts swirling around in your mind about what just happened.

[say-hwaet]

The Dynamic Between Arthur and the Marstons (long post )

I guess I should say there are spoilers, just in case…

After playing the story through several times, I have to say, that Arthur Morgan is one of the best characters ever written. Aside from his development, there is so much depth to him, and regardless of his honor, there is so much to unravel.

I’ve been thinking about the relationship that he has between the Marstons, meaning John, Abigail, and Jack, and it really makes sense as to how Arthur acts the way he does around them in the beginning and all the way to the end.

A lot of his behavior, I think, stems from the loss of Eliza and Isaac. It is my opinion that he himself was torn between living a full life with them and remaining loyal to his gang, and before or by the time he had made a choice, it was too late, as they were killed in a robbery. This had haunted him since and it made him extremely bitter. Later in the game, he tells Rains Fall that he realized that he didn’t get to live a bad life and have good things happen to him. I also think that he was with Eliza after Mary had broken their engagement. I can get into my support for this later, but that isn’t what this post is about.

I think that Arthur was angry with John out of jealousy. He is the “golden boy” and clearly was Dutch’s favorite at one point. Not only that but after Arthur loses his own son and lover, John and Abigail get pregnant and he takes off for a year. He abandons his family, which Arthur takes personally. Arthur had tried to do right by Eliza and Isaac and still failed. So when John has Jack and is within the circle of the gang to help and support him, he takes off. Arthur gives up a potential life with Eliza and Isaac for Loyalty to the gang and John throws it all away. When John comes back, Dutch welcomes him with open arms, and Arthur believes that he would have been held to a different standard if he had come back after being with Eliza and Isaac for a long time. And it doesn’t help that John treats Jack like crap in the beginning of RDR2.

Arthur, imo, was a good father to Isaac when he was present. We can see this in how he treats Jack. In Arthur’s journal, he writes how he should have married Abigail, but due to his feelings for Mary, he didn’t. I’m not sure why after years of not hearing from Mary he would say this, but meh. Perhaps, the hope of starting over, or that she did pop in again at some point (which is how Abigail might have met her?). Anyways. I think he says he should have married her so that she would have someone to rely on and that he could be the father Jack needed. He cares about Abigail, but I don’t think it is anything beyond that. Arthur seemed to me not to be one to be with a woman without some sort of relationship, based upon how he treats women and the prostitutes in Valentine, so I don’t think he was ever with Abigail. Even so, Abigail relies on Arthur, and while he puts up a front, he gives her money for clothing and spends time with Jack. Heck, he even tells John to step up and be a dad. In some of Arthur’s conversations with John, he tells him that he can’t be two people at once. He’s speaking from experience. I think he’s subtly telling John he needs to make a choice as to what life he’s going to live. Hosea and Arthur both tell Abigail and John to leave at parts of the game.

When Jack is kidnapped, and eventually rescued, I think it is one of the most heart-wrenching missions and scenes. I can see it in Arthur’s body language that he longs for the family that he once had. He’s alone in his pain and when everyone is celebrating, Arthur doesn’t sing with the gang; there isn’t even the option to do it like it does other times. Even in my first playthrough, it seemed so sad to me. Everyone was drinking and singing, but Arthur just looked so sad.

So, it is at this point that John starts to step up, and Arthur starts to show symptoms of his illness. When he learns of his diagnosis, Arthur’s eyes open to the reality of the gang’s downfall, and he acknowledges the doubts/reservations he has about Dutch’s plans and schemes. He isn’t blindly loyal anymore. He tries to get John, Abigail, and Jack out, so that they can have the life that he had lost due to loyalty to the gang. He continually tells John to get out and that it would mean a lot to him. In his journal, after rescuing John from prison, he writes in his journal “…We’ve argued over the years, but I’ve grown to care a little for [John]. He’s less of a fool than he was, and maybe he can have the luck that has eluded me. Jack is an innocent little boy. In him, I see what I missed [meaning Isaac]. We did it.” This speaks volumes to me about how he feels about them in the end. He sacrifices himself to let John live. And though it isn’t forever, Arthur dies believing that he made it, and that matters. And hopefully, he could finally be at peace and see Eliza and Isaac again.

I could keep going, but I think I am too long-winded. I guess that helps when writing fleshed-out fanfiction stories, but not for posts. LOL

Would love to hear other thoughts or opinions, I’m always keen for a discussion.

[imaginesforeveryone]

Arranged (Part 1)

Pairing: Finn Shelby x Y/N Warnings: Swearing, slight angst, drinking, some racist comments summary: You were the youngest child of you fathers, being part of a mob family in the heart of New York, your family had many enemies in the city, and even further away, and your life was about to change after a Peaky Boy barged into your life.

Finn’s POV

“Finn! get a move on it. We have to be at the church in 30 minutes!” Finn heard his Aunt Pol yell from the hotel door. This was the day that he so much dreaded. The day where his big brother married him away to a family that he needed to become alliance with. He had no idea who his bride was. He had no clue what she looked like. All he knew is that she is a Gotti. One of the most notorious mob families in New York. He finished up getting ready, grabbing his suit jacket and pushing past his Aunt Pol. 

“Hey.” Pol said following behind him. 

“Finn. I’m speaking to you.” She said grabbing his arm. 

“What aunt Pol?” He said turning towards her with a whole bunch of sassy. 

“I’m going to need you to tone down that sass with me boy.” Pol said looking up at him with daggers. 

“Sorry Aunt Pol.” He said breathing out a deep breath. 

“What is wrong child?” She asked. 

“Pol. Im being married off to a fucking wop for one and for two its the fucking Gotti’s. I also have no clue who this women is. So excuse me for being nervous.” He spoke before turning to keep walking. 

“Finn, you had to know the day would be coming that you would be married off to someone. You’re a fucking gypsy for christ sakes. It only comes with time.” Pol said following next to him. 

“Yeah, Pol I get it.” He said not arguing with her anymore because there was no point. 

“You never know she could be the most beautiful women you laid your eyes on. Don’t be a little sissy. You’re a Shelby, and us Shelby’s can make anything work.” She spoke pinching his cheek before getting on the elevator.

Y/N POV

“Suck it in.” The maid that was behind you holding the strings of your corset to began pulling it tight on you. As she did so, you had to catch your breathe quickly. 

“Fuck Amy. ” You breathed out to her. 

“Beauty is pain love, I’m sorry.” She said as she did up the corset. Women stood all around you making your hair perfect, and making sure your make up was on perfectly. It was just about time to get your dress on, but you mother wasn’t there yet. Starting to freak out a bit, you paced around the room in just your corset, heels, panties, stocking, and a garter. 

“Love calm down. It will be okay.” You heard the soothing sound of your mothers voice behind you. You smiled turning around and giving her a huge hug. 

“I’m going to miss you.” You whispered to her trying not to cry so you didn’t mess up your make up. 

“I’ll see you, don’t you worry your pretty little head. Now let’s not mess up this beautiful masterpiece with tears and smoothering.” She said taking a step back looking at your hair and make up. 

“Now come.” She said walking towards the big windows that overlooked New York City, and where your dress hung. It was nothing too crazy, simply white, silk, with small beading on the side to complement your already existing curves. You stood as your mother opened the dress so you could step into it. Shimmying it up your body and it laying so perfect upon every part of you, with an open back showing off the family crest tattoo you had directly on the top of you neck. She grabbed your veil that fell way longer than your dress, but brought the whole thing together. 

“Mom.” You almost whispered. 

“Yes darling.” She said as she fluffed out the veil to see how it will look when you walked down the aisle. 

“I’m marrying a Peaky boy right?” You asked her. 

“Yes darling.” She said little chocked up. 

“Will I be safe?” You asked. She took a few steps to round to the front of you. 

“You will be more than safe with them. As much as I’d love for you to stay in New York, sadly thats not how this arrangement works. But, they have agreed for us to come to England to visit you, and for you and your husband to travel here. This day is a cause for a big alliance in our families history.” She said gently caressing your face. You smiled at her. 

“What if he’s ugly?” You asked with a slight giggle. 

“I don’t think a Shelby boy can be ugly love. Its just not in their genes. But hey, it might be your luck.” She said with a pinch of your cheek and a giggle. 

“Alright, lets getting going.” She said rounding behind you to pick up your veil and follow you down the stairs of the church, to meet your father, who stood behind a closed door that you would enter in moments time to your new life. New husband. New family. 

“Hi, Daddy.” You said from behind him and holding your bouquet in your hands. 

“Oh, la mia bellissima figlia.” He spoked with a slight tear in his eyes. Which was weird for you to see because he was the most feared man in New York. 

“Come on love, let’s get your out there.” He said pulling your veil of your face.

“Don’t let me fall daddy.” You spoke quietly.

“Never, neonata.” He said with a smirk. As the piano sounded, and the doors began to open slowly, your stomach became in knots.

wow, that’s a long walk

You thought to yourself looking down the aisle. Everyone stood up around you, as you got closer you could see the face of the man you were about to marry. Definitely not ugly, definitely looks so innocent. Him being a Shelby it came to a surprise to you. 

Finn’s POV

“Arthur fuck off.” He spoke to his best man, who stood next to him at the alter trying to make him more nervous than he already was. 

“I’m just messing little brother. But really what if she’s ugly. What if she has big man feet that could trample you over.” Arthur whispered to him. He looked over at Thomas who sat the closest to the aisle and closest to the alter. 

“Look at all these fucking wops man. We waited long enough once, now look at us, waiting again. Full circle aye?” Arthur said nudging him to help calm him. 

“You’ll be fine brother. It will be great.” He spoke out once more. 

“Arthur shut up.” Finn heard Thomas say as he bent over the railing that separated them from the aisle. As he sat down Finn heard the piano begin, and everyone rise. He fixed his tie a bit, and the single flower that was pinned to his tux jacket, and making sure his hair was slicked back perfectly. Watching as the doors slowly opened, and seeing a very tall Italian man, arm in arm with a very short, women who had a veil covering her face. Clearing his throat he watched as she moved down the aisle. As she neared the end, her father lifts the veil and gave a kiss on either side of her face. Which he was in awe about. Looking over at Arthur for confirmation as to what he thought. He gave confirming face to him. 

Y/N POV

Finally walked down the whole length of the aisle, feeling like it just took you 20 minutes to do so. Your dad lifted your veil and kissed both cheeks before taking your hand and the man taking a step down off the two stairs you had to get up and putting his hand out to help you up. Causing a small smile to spread across your face, and also one spreading across his freckled cheeks. Hand in hand you looked at each other as the priest read from the Bible and having you say the words to the man that stood in front of you. 

“Do you Finn Shelby, take Y/N Gotti, to be wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health?” He asked looking over at Finn. 

“I do.” He said as he slipped the most beautiful ring on your small finger. 

“Do you Y/N Gotti, take Finn Shelby to be you husband to have and to hold, in sickness and in health?” The priest asked motioning to you. 

“I do.” You said with a smile and taking Finn’s hand in yours and sliding the gold band around his thick finger and taking his hands into yours. 

“You may now kiss the bride.” He said as he closed the Bible and stepped back. You smirked up at him as he towered over you to lean down and kiss you. The whole place erupted. More from his side then yours, but that’s okay. As you kissed him, it felt, right? He was soft, not what you expected of a Shelby boy. Pulling away from you he smiled and took your hand in his leading you down the aisle once more as everyone threw bird seed at the two of you. You giggled and finally making it out and into the car that sat waiting for the newlyweds to enter the car.

I think this might work. You thought to your self as you look at Finn.

[rogerswifesblog-updates]

Bad girls are the sweetest

A/N: hi! I can’t believe that I’m still waiting for my shadowban to be lifted (on my main blog @rogerswifesblog ) it’s been a month!😩 anyway, here’s a little something for y’all, I hope you’ll enjoy reading! Read the warnings first! Leave some feedback and don’t forget to reblog!:3

Summary: The avengers are pursuing a new enemy. For months. But finally they manage to catch them.

Warnings: Blood, Injury, enemy!reader, Violence (choking, not in the nice way), Insult, SMUT, crying, Squirting, Fingering, DP, MEAN!steve, dom!steve, sub!reader, implied subspace

Pairing: mean!dom!Steve Rogers x villain!(sub)!reader

"left, left! Go left," you heard Captain America's voice carry through the corridors. He was right on your heels. You had no idea how this could have happened. You were always one step ahead. You always knew everything, what to do next, where to hide and where to go. Everything went according to plan. Always.

But how did it happen that they suddenly found your hideout?

Suddenly something knocked you to the ground. It was a hard hit right against your back. "Ah shit...", you whispered quietly as you tried to get up. But just then someone grabbed you roughly by the arms. "Let go of me! Let go!", you growled, trying to hit the person holding you.

Somehow you managed to get up.

As you stood, you hit the captain in the ribs with a fine elbow, causing him to gasp, but it wasn’t something that would bring him down. It probably only made him angrier than he already was. That started the messy fight between you.

Just a few moments later you were on the ground. Mr.America was sitting directly on your torso, his knees pinning your arms down as he pressed his shield to your throat. "Now show us your face nicely, you monster," he growled as he ripped your mask off of your face and tossed it aside.

"What...you're a…woman?" he muttered, visibly surprised. You took advantage of this to kick him in the back with your knees as he didn’t pay attention anymore. As he fell forward, you pushed his shield away and spun with him.

"Never heard of women being killers too? Let’s see…maybe I can have a chance...to kill Captain America?", you whispered as you pulled a blade from your belt. This you pressed to his jaw, drawing a bit of blood from a little cut.

"Too bad you have your helmet on...then I could see your face while I pressed the knife into their chest. Slow and agonizing," you whispered against his ear.

He could throw you off him. Effortlessly. But he didn't. Out of fear? Most likely. (Not really)

Just as you pointed the knife at his chest, something hit you in the shoulder. Then right in the torso. With a pained gasp, you fell off of Steve as electricity coursed through your body.

"I knew you had a very specific taste in women," you heard the blackwidow ay. But the next moment, your eyes fell shut as well.

"Yoo-hoo wake up," you heard someones voice, as if through cotton. Someone tapped lightly against your cheek. Which made your head fall to the side.

You were sitting on a chair. Your arms were bound to the backrests. So was your upper body. Your legs. Everything possible was tied to the chair. It definitely wasn't comfortable.

Slowly you opened your eyes. Your gaze fell on the table in front of you. On the hands, which were leaning on the table.

"Where...where am I...", you mumbled.

"Ah, not so cocky and sassy anymore, huh? I'm sure the electric shocks weren't the most pleasant thing," Stark mocked you.

"You know, everyone thought we were tracking another Hydra agent, but I had a feeling it was someone else. A murderous woman. How many kills were there? Fourteen? Fifteen?" he continued talking. The corners of your mouth twitched upward.

"Twenty-eight," you spoke quietly as you lifted your gaze and looked directly into Stark's eyes. You saw the startled, as well as frightened, twinkle in his eyes that he tried so hard to hide.

He slowly straightened up. "Hmm, anyway-if you're not Hydra, then why are you doing it? Who told you to do it?"

You remained silent.

You spent the next half hour in silence as well. No matter what questions fell from Stark's lips. For the last fifteen minutes, you didn't even look at him. (Which definitely frustrated him.)

"All right. Have a nice night then," with those words he left the room. The metallic grips around your body opened. Slowly, you stood up. The room was very...well, definitely not homey. There was nothing. Only the table, your chair and an uncomfortable looking, small bed. You thought Stark liked to show off his richness.

Apparently not in the cells. Or whatever that was.

Slowly you sat down on the bed, sighing.

That's how the next few days went.

Tony Stark tried to get something out of you, but couldn't. Nothing. At least they brought you fresh and comfortable clothes everyday. Besides that the bathroom was also amazing, the shower head had great pressure and the water was hot. After months of hiding it was like heaven to finally be able to take a hot shower.

"Okay, Stark, maybe she needs a woman-to-woman talk," a female voice sounded from the ceiling. After that, the red-haired woman came into the room. Romanoff.

Sighing heavily, Stark stood up. "I don't have the nerve for this anymore. You have her all to yourself," he spoke as he left the room and closed the door behind him.

You looked back at the table again. Natasha sat down on the chair in front of you. "Y/N, right?" slowly you looked up, Natasha had a small smirk on her lips. "It's not getting any better for you. Either you talk or you stay here-" "and if I talk I get put in another cell? Thanks, then I can stay here too. It’s actually quite nice," you shrugged and looked away.

She was silent for a moment. "No. They can help you. you just have to say why you did it-who told you to do it. I wasn't always an avenger either," she spoke quietly. "You were in the RedRoom, I know...I heard your name a lot. Everyone knows you, Romanoff. But now you can go. I won't say anything. I don’t give a shit about your sappy story"

Rolling her eyes, she leaned back and crossed her arms in front of her chest. She remained sitting like that. For twenty minutes, probably thinking she’d be able to make me talk with her sharp gaze.

"All right, have it your way," she too left the room and you watched her go.

Standing outside the room was Steve and Natasha talked to him for a moment. What about you didn't know. Nor did you hear their conversation. "She's really not saying anything, Steve. Maybe you should go inside?" suggested Natasha. He, however, shook his head.

"I don't want to talk to that psychopath-bitch. She tried to stick a knife in my chest-and explained how she’d do it, too. So I certainly don't want to talk to her," he countered, with a stubborn tone. "Besides, I don't think there's anything good in her. She seems really vicious. Not like you or Bucky. She did everything because she wanted to-" "Steve, we don't know. Maybe she was threatened, or maybe she really didn't have a choice. Come on. Give her a chance," Natasha interrupted him. Annoyed, he looked at her. His jaw still having the remains of a slight scratch, which was almost healed. Still, you could see that there had been an injury there.

Shaking her head, Natasha walked away.

The next day, Natasha came back to your room. "Do you need to go to the bathroom?" she asked. Every day they asked the same question a few times a day.

When you left the room you were handcuffed. A sly grin formed on your lips as you walked past Steven Grant Rogers. Most of the time he wasn't there when you left the room, not wanting to see you at any point. "I see your pretty face has recovered....by the way, you look much better without that helmet. Would almost be too bad to hurt that face...almost," you added quietly as you walked right past him.

Unexpectedly, Steve grabbed your arms and pushed you roughly against the wall. A painful escaped your lips as your back hit the wall, hard. Automatically, Romanoff grabbed his arms, as did Stark, who had been standing close.

"You better shut your mouth, bitch," he hissed close to your face. It was apparently a rare sight to see Captain America like that, as Natasha and Tony looked surprised and maybe even a bit frightened. "Anything else, Captain? Are you locking me up? Nothing new," you growled back, not wanting to give him any satisfaction by scaring you. Even though you felt like your heart was about to spring out of your chest. And Steve definitely heard your increased heartbeat.

One of his hands reached for your neck. "Hey hey Steve. Take it easy," Tony now interfered as he tried to pull him away, again.

You felt the grip tighten. It was hard for you to swallow, to breathe. "Trust me, there are a lot worse things that could happen to you, little one," he growled.

"FRIDAY just told me you needed my he-Steve!l what the fuck are you doing," the Winter soldier's voice rang out. He pulled Rogers away from you forcefully, as he was the only one strong enough who could actually overpower Steve.

Immediately you gasped for air and slid down the wall. Carefully you caressed your neck with your hand. Barnes pulled Rogers away with him, hitting the back of his head several times with his human hand. >>You're such an idiot, you know that? Really an idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. She may be a killer but she’s still a lady<<

That day you were not interrogated, but instead moved to another cell/interrogation room. A more comfortable one. You definitely wouldn’t tell them anything.

The next day, Stark came to your room. "So, do you want to say something? Come on, we'll help you. I promise. Even Barnes is a free man now," he spoke as he sat down.

Silently, you crossed your arms and turned your head away.

"Alright...are you alright? About...you know? Yesterday?" he said more cautiously now. You scoffed. "Because of what? Ah you're talking about dear Captain America almost strangling an inmate? I'm fine. Now get out of here," you hissed.

Tony said nothing more, just nodded quietly, before leaving the room again.

You were alone until the evening. Only Natasha came by briefly and brought you something to eat. You didn't really talk, but it was relaxing not to be bombarded with questions.

After you had eaten quietly, you laid down. But you could not sleep. You felt like you were being watched. You were aware that there were cameras everywhere, but it was different. It’s like…you could feel a presence.

Slowly, however, your eyes fell closed-but not for long, as the sound of the door handle jolted you out of your nap.

It was too late for questioning. The light were off. What the hell?

"Who is it?", you asked into the darkness. No answer.

Suddenly, someone stopped in front of you. Immediately the smell of his aftershave filled your nose. warmth spread through your body "Rogers," you said harshly. "What do you want a-" before you could finish speaking you felt his hand around your neck again, making you gasp quietly.

It wasn't easy to intimidate you, but he managed. Especially since you were alone now. No one was here to hold Steve back.

Fuck.

"Not so smart anymore, huh? That's good...you should start being obedient…you're such a brat," he murmured close to your ear, his grip wasn’t as hard as the last time.

You tried to kick him right in his crotch with your knee, but he dodged.

"Brat, behave or you won’t like what’s coming," he hissed. You tried to back away from him, but this caused Rogers to press you tighter against the wall. You were still sitting on the bed, while he was towering over you. Using his strength and position to intimidate you.

"did you hear me?" he growled as he lifted your head a little. "I hate you," you croaked as hatefully as possible. As his grip grew even stronger, you whimpered. Now you were getting scared. You couldn't breathe. His grip was too strong. Painful even.

Your hand went to his wrist, causing him to hold it a little looser. "Behave." He hissed those words in your face. You felt his breath against your skin. Your lips. You felt goosebumps on your skin.

"Nev-never," you croaked.

Steve made an unexplainable noise. Similar to a growl. You felt hot. And cold. Both. A tension built between you two. "Someone needs to teach you some fucking manners," he growled so close to your lips you could nearly taste him. "You can try. Captain," you spit back.

He pressed his lips hard to yours in a bruising kiss-almost violent kiss, too much teeth, completely stealing your breath. His teeth came into contact with yours. It wasn't a gentle kiss. Not even close. It was hungry, desperate.

Your hands gripped his shirt, holding onto him like he was the last thing holding you above. His hand slid from your neck to your hair, grabbing it harshly.

Briefly, he let go of you, stepping away from you to look at you.

"Strip. Now," Steve spoke as he took another step back, crossing his arms over his chest.

You slowly stood up, but did nothing. A small smirk on your lips. "Fine...then I'll help you," with those words he grabbed your shirt, ripping it in two. Surprised, you sucked in a breath, while the two pieces of clothing fell to the floor. This made Steve laugh in satisfaction.

"Take your clothes off or everything will end up in two pieces," you hesitated briefly, but when he reached for your pants you immediately unzipped them and pulled them down as fast as you could, just leaving them on the floor.

"That's good…such a good girl. Very good," Steve spoke as he took another step closer. Gently, he caressed your cheek with his fingertips, then slowly down to your neck, along the bruise he caused days before. “I'm sorry my sweet girl, but you just…were such a brat…made me lose my temper...I didn't mean to hurt you, sweetheart," he spoke softly as he began to spread light kisses on your neck.

A gasp of pleasure escaped your lips. Then a soft whimper.

And Steve could get used to it.

"Now how about you get on your knees and do something useful with that mouth of yours?" he spoke in a deep voice that made your blood run hot. Slowly, you nodded. Your hands slowly stroked along his chest to the zipper of his jeans. You opened it slowly.

"And if I don't?", you murmured against his neck, letting your lips gently touch his skin. "That's what I was hoping for," with those words he slowly sat down on your bed. Not saying a single word.

Confused, you turned to face him, not understanding what he was doing.

You thought he’d maybe…fuck your face or something? Why was he sitting down? Would he ignore you now?

He pulled you closer to him, but threw you over his lap the next moment. Your cheek was buried in the pillow while he lightly stroked your butt. “If you say red, I’ll stop. Remember this,” “Okay, but why-“ Suddenly, a smack. "Ah-what-", the next blow didn't let me finish. “Count it sweetheart or we’ll start over.” You nodded quickly, counting the third slap, when his palm touched your ass. Fuck, his hands were huge. And he really wasn’t gentle with you.

Tears filled your eyes by the fifth hit, while your sobbed out your words. He didn’t go easy on you. Not at all. And you could tell he enjoyed it, by the feeling of his hard dick pressing against your hip. Your skin would probably be bruised tomorrow but…but it felt so good. You could feel your pussy throb. The pain only added to the pleasure. Fuck.

“Mm, doing so good, sweetheart. Taking your punishment so well”, he mumbled after the ninth one. At this point you were crying. The tears were streaming down your face into the pillow beneath you, but Steve didn’t care about it. He even enjoyed it. Very much so, feeling as his hard dick was throbbing against your hip. Trapped beneath the tight material of his jeans.

Your ass felt sore and tingly everywhere. You wouldn’t be able to sit tomorrow. God, it was so painful. And yet you felt how much your pussy was dripping with need.

Then you felt his lips on the sore spot. A filthy kiss, which made you sigh quietly into the pillow. His fingers stroked along the wet spot of your panties. Lightly he pulled on it, watching your pulsing cunt before letting it hit your skin again, making you jump in surprise. You let out sounds of strangled pleasure: a gasping, keening, moan. You were losing control over yourself and Steve was enjoying all of it.

At this point Steve felt how his dick leaked pre-cum, dampening his boxershorts, while he rutted lightly against your hip. The damp spot getting larger with every second.

"Why do the prettiest ones have to be so…evil?" he murmured against your skin. A giggle escaped you. Why, you didn't know, but you felt your blood rush to your cheeks, making you blush an unbelievably deep shade of red.

He rubbed with two of his fingers along your pantie clothed slit, pushing slightly into your wet hole, making you whine into the pillow.

"Please."

As that one word escaped your lips he stopped moving his hand. "How quick you’re learning, sweetie. You’re my perfect sweet girl, aren’t you?" You could tell by the tone of his voice that he was grinning, but you didn’t care. You just wanted to feel him. Feel something.

He pushed your panties aside and let one of his fingers glide between your wet folds. You could hear your own arousal and the squelching sound while he rapidly pumped his thick finger inside your throbbing pussy. You moaned softly into the sheets, finally feeling him stretching your hole. "Fuck," you gasped. "Tz tz, language, you want another spanking?" immediately you shook your head, whimpering.

"Please-don’t- just…just...touch me...please...more," you continued to beg. This time you didn't care anymore. You wanted him. All of him.

Steve added a second finger and started stroking over your sensitive spot. A squelching sound with every thrust. You couldn’t stop the quiet moans leaving your lips. "Mmmm...you feel so good...I can't wait to fuck you," he mumbled, kneading your sore ass cheek with the other hand. His words elicited goosebumps on your skin.

For a moment he stopped moving his hand, just rubbing along your velvet walls. When he started rubbing your g-spot your whole body trembled, especially your thighs, while you tightly grabbed the pillow underneath you. The pressure sends a shock of heat through your system.

"Mmm...you're so ready for me already. I bet I could just fuck into you ...effortlessly…and even if I couldn’t…I’m sure you wouldn’t mind getting it a bit rougher, Hm?" he spoke as he massaged the spot inside you, making you mewl pleasurably. "Baby, close your mouth. you’re drooling," only now did you realize your mouth was open. Immediately you closed it with a >click< sound of your teeth. Once again you felt blood rush to your cheeks. You couldn’t believe how much control he had over you, just by using his finders. You should feel embarrassed by the lack of control over yourself but you couldn’t even think about that right now.

"I asked you a question" "Yes, please...please move...fuck me-just do whatever you want", you sobbed, trying to nice your hips against his fingers. At this point you stopped listening to whatever he was saying. The only thing that mattered was for you to get off, especially with him pressing against your soft spot.

"You have to promise me something, Sweetheart. Tomorrow at the interrogation, you will answer all the questions. You will talk, baby, yeah?", Before he had even finished talking, you were already nodding vigorously. You felt humiliated being this needy, but you hadn’t been touched like this in a while and Steve seemed to know how to please a woman.

A chuckle came from Steve. "Perfect," he began to move his hand quickly, fucking you with his thick digits, while your arousal leaked out of your cunt onto his lap.For a moment his fingers left your channel empty and he watched your pussy throb for a moment, before licking over his fingers. "How sweet an evil bitch like you can taste," he bummed as he took his fingers in his mouth, slurping loudly.

Steve let his spit slicked fingers glide over your tight rim. The wet finger at your hole made you twitch slightly. He started rubbing at your hole. Your whole body shuddered feeling him slowly press into you.

You looked back at him for a moment, feeling how desperate you were for your release. At this point you felt overwhelmed with everything that was happening around you. With what he was doing to you. While his hands roamed over your body, you couldn’t stop the moans escaping your lips.

Then you felt the other fingers press once again into your waiting pussy, hitting the special spot with a hard thrust. Especially when he stimulated your other hole you opened my mouth in a silent moan, clutching the sheets in your fists. Steve's gaze was drawn to where his fingers were disappearing into your holes, sucking him in.

"Please Steve, please...I...", you tried to say something, but nothing besides moaning left your lips. Then his other hand slid to your clit and this was enough for you. Unexpectedly a shuddering orgasm rushed over you, a blinding pleasure washed over you, making you sob out Steve’s name. Your release squirted onto Steve lap, drenching his pants.

You never had such an orgasm before. Never felt so overwhelmed like you did right now. For a moment you couldn’t even open your eyes. You hadn’t even noticed how much your legs were shaking.

"...Hey sweetie, come back to me...baby...", Steve's voice sounded like you'd have cotton around your head. You felt so incredibly light. Slowly, you stopped giggling. Giggling? Why were you giggling? "That was really hot, you know, my pretty girl?" he murmured into your neck. "Did you know you could do that?" he asked with a certain pride in his voice.

Slowly he laid you down on the bed. When he got up you saw the big wet spot on his pants. You felt heat rush to your cheeks, probably pairing them scarlet, not being able to meet his gaze.

But you heard his belt buckle being opened and falling to the floor, making you lift your gaze to watch him for a moment, while he pushed his jeans and boxers down. Enough for his hard dick to spring free. He was big enough for his dick not to curve upwards, it just hung down, even in a completely erect state. It looked as thick as his wrist, with lots of veins showing and glistening from all the precum he was leaking.

You licked over your lips, watching as he stepped closer right before you, grabbing his cock with one hand and stroking his length. The amount of pre-cum made his movements smooth while he pumped his dick, moaning quietly into the darkness.

“Come on pretty girl, on your knees”, he mumbled, already helping you sit up on the bed. You sat back on your heels, sliding closer to the edge, letting his tip rub along your lips, leaving the taste of his pre-cum behind.

He watched as you licked his taste of your lips, before opening your mouth and sticking out your tongue to show him what you wanted. Please him. Let him fuck your face. Let him use you. Whatever he wanted to call it. You just wanted to feel him.

“You look so pretty like that…bet you’re even prettier with my cum all over your face”, moaned the man, pushing his dick between your lips and thrusting deep inside you, before slowly pulling away. He repeated this a few times, always hitting the back of your throat with his tip. He stopped for a moment. His heavy cock throbbed in your mouth, your tongue licking over the veins you could feel on the underside of his length.

Steve watched as you suckled and licked happily at his cock, like it was your only purpose. And maybe it was.

“My sweet girl. You just needed a cock to start behaving like a good girl, huh?”, he mumbled in a degrading manner, but you didn’t care. You probably should feel humiliated or some other kind of degraded but truthfully…you loved it. If you could stay like that, you would. Just being his good girl. His toy. His cumdump. Whatever he wanted you to be.

Shoving his dick once again deeper into your mouth, you moaned around him feeling so full. You tried to move your head a bit faster, trying to get him deeper into your throat but it only made you gag. Steve moaned, feeling your wet mouth, especially when you started fondling his balls. He couldn’t stop himself from thrusting deeper into you, making you deep throat him.

You could already tell your jaw would be killing you tomorrow, but all that mattered was making Steve feel good.

Steve grabbed your hair roughly fucking harscher into your mouth feeling his climax approaching. Before he could shoot his load in your mouth, he quickly pulled out, starting to stroke himself quickly, till he was painting your face with hot ropes of thick cum.

After coming down from his high, he let go of your hair and also pulled his pants back up, tucking himself in. “Such a good girl. You just needed someone to take care of you”, he grinned slightly, before cupping your face with his hands and massaging his cum into your cheeks and smearing onto your bottom lip, repeating it after you licked it away, humming quietly. You seemed content and even somehow relaxed.

He liked seeing you like this.

Especially coated with his cum. Being marked.

“My pretty girl”, he whispered, making you nod unknowingly. He grabbed one piece of the ripped shirt and wiped away the remains of his release, while you looked at him from under your eyelashes.

He leaned down to you, pressing his Lips softly onto yours. The kiss was different from the one before. A little slower and gentle. Very intimate.

"Get some sleep. You need rest before tomorrow's questioning. And keep the promise or your next punishment won’t bring you to an orgasm," he breathed against your lips, a smirk creeping onto his face. He moved away a little to give you a kiss on the forehead, then pulled the blanket over your body.

Exhausted, you didn't even have the strength to protest, just nodding silently.

At the door, however, he stopped again. It was dark, but you saw him grinning. "See you tomorrow, sweetheart" "Night, Steve...", then he closed the door behind him.

The next morning you were taken to the bathroom by Natasha to get ready for the day.

When you came back you sat down in the chair and waited for Tony, who usually tried to question you.

The door opened and someone sat down in front of you. Somehow you felt a shift in the air. A tension. "Who hired you?", you heard the smirk in his voice.

Immediately you raised your head.

Since when did Steve question you?

[questionableratatouille00]

ᴘᴀʀᴛʏ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ʀᴏᴄᴋꜱᴛᴀʀ

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky hated Stark parties. He knew that. But how much is he able to take before he breaks?

Note: This is my submission for day three (sensory deprivation/overstimulation/isolation ) of @ailesswhumptober!

Warnings: Alcohol, drinking, cursing, descriptions of symptoms of being overstimulated.

---------------------------------------------

Bucky felt his breath get shorter as the loud music blasted through the Compound’s party area. He was technically an Avenger, which meant he was required to go to these stupid things.

God, he hated them. He hated the way the smell of alcohol flooded his nose and the way the loud music made his head hurt and the way the obnoxious lighting made his eyes sting and the way—

He took a deep breath. The collar of his suit felt too tight around his neck. He felt like he was suffocating, and like all eyes were on him, waiting for him to snap. He shifted his legs, trying to find a more comfortable way to stand. Then he shifted them again. Unable to find comfort in any way he stood, he found his irritation growing.

He desperately wanted to shut his eyes and go hide in the elevator, but he knew how strange he’d look, and his feet were planted in the floor anyway. He felt himself inhale a little every time a drunk person stumbled nearby. Stark’s parties were known to have…handsy people in attendance.

Bucky scowled as the overhead lights flashed again and again and again, only increasing his stress and headache. He eyed the room, unconsciously checking for threats. When he caught himself doing so, he bit his bottom lip, ashamed. He knew he was safe and that he was in the Avengers Compound. So why didn’t his brain?

He felt an overwhelming amount of shame as he realized how tight his metal fist was clenched. He surveyed the room yet again, this time in search of you. Where were you?

He looked for you for what felt like years, even though it only could’ve been seconds. His legs felt hollow, like straws. He wondered if he looked out to other people, which only added to his stress. Did he look fidgety? Or maybe too stiff? Was he swaying or rocking, or did he look frozen?

————————

You laughed as you took another sip of your drink, listening to Sharon’s story. Natasha laughed with you, also sipping on her own drink.

“Speaking of boyfriends,” you smile, “I have to go find Bucky.”

“Where is he, anyway? I haven’t seen him all night.” Natasha realized.

“I’m sure he’s around here somewhere. I’ll see you guys later, alright?” You shouted over the loud music, setting your drink down on the party-area-kitchen counter as you walked into the main area.

You looked around the crowd. People danced in clusters, and you quickly found Thor in the crowd, his large build and height setting him apart. His booming laugh was louder than the music, and you were about to walk over to him before you noticed the group of women he was talking to. Better leave him be, then, you thought as you grinned.

You spotted Steve, talking to Sam off on a balcony area. You began to walk towards them before you spotted your metal-armed boyfriend off in a corner. You studied his stance, his expression. He shifted uncomfortably every few seconds, like something was irritating him. He looked stressed, his face contorted in a pained expression, though it was clear he was trying to hide it. He maintained a neutral demeanor for the most part, but whenever he looked to the ground you could see his true expression.

You began to cross the dance floor, stepping past dancing couples and groups.

“Bucky?” You called over the aggressive beat of the song currently playing.

His gaze flicked to you, his jaw set and her stare hard.

“You okay?” You questioned, tilting your head.

“I’m fine.” His voice was short, snappy.

You took a step back, raising your hands in surrender. “Okay. Okay.”

A look of regret crossed his features as he opened his mouth to speak. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it to sound like that.”

“I know. What’s going on?” You invited the conversation, hoping that he could at least try and express what was bothering him.

He opened his mouth to speak, but he closed it. He did this a few times as his gaze shifted around the room, never staying on one thing for longer than half of a second. You noticed how tense he was, how rigid his stance was.

He rotated his neck a bunch, like he was trying to escape the collar of his suit.

“Hey, come with me.” You offered him a hand, and he took it gingerly.

You lead him to the hallway that connected with the rest of the Compound, the security robots not stopping you after they quickly took a facial scan. When you did this, you made sure to stay away from large clusters of people or the speakers and lights.

Stepping into the closest room you could find, which happened to be a conference room, you shut the door behind the two of you.

“Is that at least a bit better?” You kept your voice quiet. He nodded, running his right hand over his face. You grabbed an unopened water bottle off of the little counter in the corner of the room, handing it to him. “Drink some of that.”

He did as he sat down in one of the office chairs. You knew the serum dialed his senses to like, eleven, but you didn’t know how bad it could get.

You waited in silence for a little while, not wanting to make the situation worse.

“I’m sorry.” He said after a while.

“For what?” You asked genuinely.

“For snapping at you. And then making you leave the party. And then..this.” He gestured around vaguely.

“Buck, I don’t care about the stupid party. You matter much more to me than some rager.” You smiled. “I don’t really care for them that much, anyway. I could have cocktails with Nat and Sharon and whoever else whenever. I’d rather be here, making sure you’re alright.” You reassure.

He smiles softly, and his eyes tell you what he’s thinking: I love you.

“Wanna head up to our room? My feet are killing me.” You suggested.

He nodded. “Yeah. C’mon, I’ll carry you.”

“Nuh-uh.” You grinned.

“Uh-huh.” He got up from his seat, and you squealed as you tried to get away. The laughter emanated from the two of you echoed as you raced down the halls.

[acefictionwriting]

Scout’s Med Bay Stay (TF2 Bang)

-Hi! This is my contribution to the TF2 Big Bang Event! Scout wakes up after being injured to find some new strange people he’s going to get to know.

Made with Artists

@ermg33 - here is their Art Post

@sicc-nasti - here is their Art Post

As the man awoke, he had no idea what was happening. He had no idea where he was, no idea what was going on, or why he was here. It started coming back to him, but before he could put everything together, the pain shot up his legs.

Ow. Right, the enemy grenades. Shit, I hate enemy Demolition bombers. What did you get yourself into, Jeremy? 

Jeremy opened his eyes and looked around, discovering he was in a med bay. The Scouting mission must have gone wrong, really wrong, since the other scout wasn’t there. He didn’t recognize anyone in the room.

“Ah! You are awake! I was hoping to harvest your organs, but at least the replacements worked!”

“What?” 

The Scout looked at the man, and he nearly pissed himself. 

Oh no, not the medic guy again. 

“Uh, I don’t—” Jeremy tried to make an excuse for the man not to get too close, but before he could, the Medic was pulling him up from the bed to sit him up. 

“You stay here Späher, I will get you the new medicine. You will make a great first test!!”

Jeremy didn’t have time to stop the man, nor did he really want to. He also didn’t ask why the American medic was German. 

His legs were still killing him, and despite the dread he felt thinking about everything that could have happened to him, he ripped off the sheets anyway out of impulsive curiosity. They looked perfectly fine, besides the fact they had been cut off and reattached and left a giant scar. That’s probably OK. He moved his foot to find out if they still worked and jumped up in pain. 

“He is brutal, but he always succeeds. Your legs work alright, Erreur?” 

Scout looked to his right, and a man he hadn’t noticed before was there. The man had a bandage covering most of his face and was standing in the shadows enough that the rest wasn’t showing. It sounded like he smoked enough to kill him twice a day. 

“Jesus, man, didn’t see ya there. Yeah, they work. If they didn’t, I dunno what I’d do. I’m a runner. I do the Scout work, finding out where the Germans are gonna be and making sure there’s no trouble. And if there was trouble, well, I took care of it.”

“You aren’t supposed to do that on scouting missions.”

“Well, I did. And that’s gonna make me a hero or something when it works out. Then I’ll go home to my girl, and she won’t be able to resist me!” 

“WE WILL GO HOME TO OUR WOMEN WHEN WE WIN THIS BLASTED WAR. KEEP AT IT SOLDIER. WE’LL KEEP THOSE GERMANS AT BAY AND—” 

Scout turned his head to see a man in full restraints on a bed, wearing an oversized helmet over his eyes. The Medic seemed to know this man and definitely didn't like him.

“Nein… not again. You are not a soldier. How do you get in here…” 

“I AM AN AMERICAN SOLDIER THROUGH AND THROUGH—” 

“You have a head injury, du verdammter Idiot.” 

Scout turned his head away from the half-shouting match, half-desperate argument. The bandaged man in the shadows had disappeared, which Jeremy thought was fucking weird. 

With nothing else to do, he pulled out his locket with a blurry picture of Pauline F. Pauling. 

She’ll like me for sure now that I’ve got manly scars and stuff. I’ll come home her hero, and we’ll get to kiss and— 

“MMMFF MMMH MMM.” 

“GAH— WHY ARE YOU ALL SO QUIET UNTIL I’M TRYING TO FOCUS?” 

Scout turned to the bed on his left, seeing the not-a-soldier and the medic fight in the background, and someone entirely wrapped in bandages in the bed close to his. 

“Jesus, what happened to you?” 

“Mmmhff mmmhb mffhh mmmmffhhhh mmm MMMFF mmmh.” 

“Ja, we don’t know who that is. Don’t even know what side they’re on. I’ve just been using them for my experimental injections. Beyond that?” The medic shrugged and resumed his argument with the American. 

“I gotta get out of here. We gotta get out of here; you gotta be real messed up from that.” 

The burned patient muttered a muffled something that sounded like a verbal shrug. They then pointed to the locket. 

“My girl? Yeah, she’s a real beaut, huh?” 

“Is that ‘your girl’ mon étrange collègue enfantin?” 

“OK, we’re getting you a bell.”

The French man sighed and stepped away from the shadow of the door. He stuck to the shadows and the wall, but stood next to the scout. Despite not knowing the man, Jeremy felt like a stray cat had sat next to him while not getting close to anyone else. It would be some sort of honor if the stench of cigarettes wasn’t so overpowering. 

“Écoute, mon ami, you have been injured. Is there anyone you would like to inform? This girl? Perhaps your mother?”

“Well, I gotta tell Ma about this. I bet Pauling would love to hear about me and my cool battle wounds now.”

“Right… I’m sure. I will get the communications officer.”

Even Scout could see the man just wanted to leave the conversation.

Why’d he look so uncomfortable? 

There was silence then, or as much of a silence as there could be in the overcrowded room. Scout never liked not being part of a conversation in a group of people. He felt left out. His brothers always seemed closer to each other than to him, so he was pushed out of conversations often, even when they did not mean to exclude him. Scout looked around the room. He supposed the same thing had kept happening in the army. He had had brief conversations with everyone in the medical area, but they all ended suddenly. He preferred the chaos of everyone popping up suddenly to the emptiness of everyone ignoring him. Jeremy looked over to the burn victim to his left, but they had fallen asleep, it seemed, as they made a cartoonish mimimimimi sound from under the seemingly infinite bandages. The silence was uncomfortable, but not uncomfortable enough for Jeremy to wake up someone with severe injuries.

“Ah. You’re no help.” 

The Scout briefly considered talking to himself, but remembered when he was caught and teased by his brothers for that. Ma had said they meant well, but even so, Jeremy never wanted to seem crazy. At least not in a nonviolent way. Instead of talking to himself, he decided to do what he usually did when he was nervous or unsure. He counted all the ways he was the coolest person alive who would totally live the most incredible life anyone ever had. He was on reason number seven (he had miscounted severely. It was the 16th reason) when the door opened again. 

“Hey, face guy! You’re back! Is this that letter guy? Make my injury sound really bad so it looks better when I go home. Hey, wait, there's two guys.”

The first man was tall and had an eyepatch. Scout thought that was awesome. He had a bottle of… what smelled like 100% alcohol in his hand and was leaning against the doorway, half asleep, half on high alert. Scout thought it best not to disturb this man until he became more aware of his surroundings. Instead, the scout turned his attention to the other man, with papers in his hands.

The second man was short and had other features that Scout immediately ignored in favor of the robotic arm the man had. 

“WOAH, ARE YOU A ROBOT?”

The man laughed warmly, as if he’d heard it before from others. 

“Well, I’m technically a cyborg,” said the man, with a warm smile, “and I’m also the correspondence officer until we find another guy who isn’t dead to do it. I’m Dell, but they call me Engineer most of the time.”

“Can I ask, like, a bajillion questions about the—” 

“No, you may not! But my friend here is gonna ask you a few questions before we get this letter written. Tavish, I think you’d better do the talking.” 

Scout had thought Dell was friendly, and he generally seemed to be, but there was a tone to the man’s voice that said another question about his arm would make him far less friendly. So Jeremy decided to do the most difficult thing he’d ever done, and be quiet as the Engineer stepped aside to make room for the hulking man with the eyepatch. 

“My name is Tavish. I’m a demolitions expert addicted to alcohol and explosives—” 

“Wrong speech, buddy,” said the Engineer encouragingly, as though this had happened many times before. 

“Aye, right. Ahem.” 

Tavish took out a piece of paper from his back pocket that was surprisingly pristine. He took a stick of dynamite out from the other, put it back, and looked around for something else. The French guy handed him a small gun as though knowing what he was looking for. 

“Right, thanks.” The demolitions expert shot the ceiling twice to gather everyone’s attention. He handed the gun back and took reading glasses out of another pocket. 

“You are all hereby requested for a special secret mission. The people hiring you will not reveal their names or the mission’s purpose, but we assure you that it is of utmost importance. You will be relocated to a strategic and secret area that may turn the tide in this war. Each of you has been selected due to the special skills you possess, as well as a general lack of morality. Also, we will pay you. We know some of you are here to be paid. We implore you to consider this opportunity and join our team.”

“Hey, where did your British accent come from there, weren’t you Irish or Scottish or somethin’? Also, yeah, I’m gonna do that. Can I tell my Ma?” 

“Aye. Any other questions?”

“Ja, will there be room for my experiments there? Also, mein vögel, can they come? I can go with du all if I’m not taken from my work.”

“Aye, your experiments are why you're here, and experimenting with test subjects is encouraged.” 

“Oh, then Ja!” 

Each person asked questions, but since Scout had already accepted, the Engineer gave him one of the papers to sign and started writing Jeremy’s letter on another paper that was not a contract. Jeremy let everyone else fade into the background as he told his mom and his girl all about his injuries and how much he missed them in the letters. He took a while to sign his name, struggling with the letters, but Dell was quite understanding. Jeremy decided that he enjoyed the Engineer’s company. 

The only thing that seemed off was the Spy. He did not seem excited about the contract, but he did sign the papers. 

Each of the men, now called The Teufort Mercenaries, were helped out to the vehicle, except for the burned one, who was driven in a personal ambulance since they couldn’t move. 

Scout wondered how they signed the paperwork. He wondered how his Ma would take it, with him being gone even longer than planned, but how much longer would it be? A week? Probably a week. Ma would be alright, he explained everything in his letter. She had his brothers to take care of her. He smiled, excited to drive off to a new, exciting, and important life. 

The Spy, Demo, and Engineer stayed behind longer than the others. 

“These letters, they will not be sent, non?” 

“No, unfortunately, we have to burn ‘em. Gonna tell everyone these guys died in battle.”

“What about ze medic?” 

“Oh, we don’t know where he came from. He just started saving lives by making abominations to god, and we let him.”

“What ze fuck is wrong with you all?” 

“Ask the higher-ups.” 

Meanwhile, Tavish was getting paid by a woman who addressed herself as P. He assumed that was because of her purple attire. 

“So you’ll take them all to the desert location, right?”

“Aye.” 

“And you won’t ask questions?”

“Aye. Not my job.”

“You’ll be perfect. Here’s the hundred. Go take them to Teufort.” 

The woman then started calling her boss and walking away, and Tavish walked away as well. He thought he had heard, “They’re out of our hair now,” but he did not question it because it was his job now not to ask questions.

They all rejoined the group in the van, everyone having been ignorant of their absence. The lively chatter continued as everyone awaited their trip to a new life. A life that was not the heroic one they had expected, but simply a way to rid the world of these strange people. 

[sunsetkerr]

STAYING DOWN | s.kerr

summary: you and sam kerr are on-pitch rivals, but when you're teammate hurts sam during a game, you're the first one on the ground with her (or.. 4 times you watched sam hurt on the ground, +1 time you helped her up) [1.8k words]

pairing: on-pitch rival!reader x sam kerr

notes: I love this one a lot..

(1) 2015, FIFA Women’s World Cup - Group Stage

“did you like that one, l/n?” god, you thought. she’s insufferable. you watched as she celebrated with her team, green and gold flooded the box. it was no secret that you couldn’t stand sam kerr. the whole world knew practically, and watching her celebrate a goal whilst looking directly at you just made you hate her even more.

“piss off” you shook your head as she jogged pass you to reset play. 

“oooh” she chuckled at you, her smirk only growing, “feisty today, are we?”

commentator voiceover JP DELLACAMERA: ooh, we can see on-pitch rivals y/n l/n and sam kerr having a few words with each other after l/n just scored her goal

JACQUI OATLEY: i think they’re constantly having words if i’m honest

JP DELLACAMERA: it seems that way, doesn’t it? Kerr and l/n are one of the most interesting pairs to see on the pitch in my opinion

JACQUI OATLEY: no i completely agree, i love seeing how they egg each other on; very entertaining

JP DELLACAMERA: seeing them play each other at arsenal and chelsea, but then seeing them on a national level is just great football

JACQUI OATLEY: it’s funny to me, both great goal scorers, but they somehow always find a way to be next to each other on the pitch

JP DELLACAMERA: sweden taking a corner now… and rubensson sends it into the box and y/n l/n headers it into goal!

JACQUI OATLEY: phenomenal work from the young swede

you threw your hands in the air as sofia lifted you up. you turned around to see sam, on the ground, knocked down from the commotion in the box, with a frown etched on her face. you grinned down at her with a chuckle and shouted, “that was for you, kerr!”.

(2) 2016, WSL Season Chelsea vs Arsenal

commentator voiceover IZZY CHRISTIANSE: and sam kerr scores her third goal against arsenal! and it’s a hat-trick for sam kerr!

PIEN MEULENSTEEN: ooh! and she’s collided just outside the goals with arsenal player, y/n l/n IZZY CHRISTIANSE: looks like they hit each other pretty hard at the hips there.. kerr and l/n are both down

you groaned clutching at your hip bone. “will you watch where you’re going!” you looked over at who banged into you, of course it was her.

“you right?” she winced, holding onto her own hip.

“no thanks to you” you spat at her.

sam threw her head back in pain, “oh fuck” she hissed. you heard someone come up behind you/

“you okay, y/n?” they wrapped their arms underneath your armpits and pulled you up. it was caitlin. you were thankful to be back up on your feet, you muttered a quick thank you whilst you rubbed at your hip. “sam?” she asked her matildas teammate. caitlin always tried to be a neutral force when it came to you both, the two of you too strong willed not to butt-heads on the pitch.

“i’m good” she nodded, still groaning.

“i’ll get the trainers” catilin said before flagging over the chelsea trainers, who were already on their way out.

“come on,” caitlin patted you on the back before walking back to the centre with you. you rolled your eyes, hearing sam groan behind you. she crashed into you, and she’s complaining? figures.

(3) 2017, Algarve Cup Group Stage

you and sam were both gunning for the ball. she was behind you, trying to get the ball out from underneath you. you tried your best to hold it, but didn’t have to try for much longer as sam fell to the ground clutching her ankle. “fuck, fuck, fuck” she winced. 

you turned around, holding on the ball under your foot. you contemplated helping her up, making sure she was alright. 

“y/n!” but your teammate, lotta, was shouting at you as she had set up her position. “run down!” she shouted to you. you got the ball moving again, shaking off steph catley, ignoring sam’s cries in the background.

commentator voiceover JACQUI OATLEY: looks like y/n was a little concerned for sam kerr there

JP DELLACAMERA: that’s a surprise to me

JACQUI OATLEY: l/n crosses the ball in to schelin and it’s a goal!

JP DELLACAMERA: great assist from l/n there JACQUI OATLEY: and even better shooting from schelin

JP DELLACAMERA: a great duo those two

(4) 2022, Sweden vs Australia Women's Friendlies

“that’s two, y/n” caitlin grinned at you as she came off the high from her second goal of the game. 

you chuckled and shook your head, trying to suppress your grin. “shut up caitlin, you’re a show-off” you laughed. you weren’t too fired up this game. your team hadn’t managed to score yet, but the matildas were playing better than you- they deserved to win the friendly.

“and i love every second of it” she grinned.

“i’ve got next caitlin” her voice came out of nowhere, but once you saw her your mood was ruined. sam was jogging past you both with a big grin on her face.

“yeah, sure” you scoffed, heading back to your side of the pitch. it took sam only five minutes of play to score. 

“that was for you!” she sang to you, running straight past where you watched her score. you rolled your eyes, your friendly spirit that had been present in this game was officially ruined.

commentator voiceover JACQUI OATLEY: and kerr has scored on chelsea teammate zećira mušović, getting the matildas third goal for the game, with Sweden still sitting at zero. ooh, kerr has stopped celebrating. she looks to be a little bit of pain. 

JP DELLACAMERA: she’s had a few troubles with her calf, hopefully it’s nothing”

“you good?” you watched as sam limped back to her position as the game reset. 

“agh, shit” she hissed through her teeth, “my calf has been playing up” she admitted, giving it a quick rub.

“do you need a trainer?” you asked her. you stammered before adding, “y-you’re taking up my space on the pitch”.

“nah, no” sam sighed, shaking her hands as she stood up straight again, “just give me a second”.

“are you sure?” you asked

sam raised her eyebrows at you before taking a deep breath, “careful, l/n.. kinda sounds like you care”

“you’re on my half of the pitch” you almost erupted at her accusation, “get moving” you shooed her away.

(+1) 2023, FIFA Women’s World Cup Bronze Medal Match

it was the seventy-fifth minute when you watched her go down. magdelena’s tackle was brutal, you waited for the whistle to sound, but it never came. game resumed play and mags was off running with the ball as sam was on the ground clutching her calf in pain.

you jogged over to her, “are you okay?” you asked.

“fuck!” she cried, panting through the pain. 

“stop time!” you turned around and called down to the referee, but she just ignored you and continued watching play. “hey!” you called again.

“holy shit,” sam put her head on the ground, still holding her leg close.

you looked around for help, and saw the matilda’s physio running out onto the pitch to see sam. “the physio is coming” you told her, “hold on a second”.

“hey! call time!” you screamed down the pitch again, “fucking hell, she’s hurt!” 

“hey,” you watched as z held onto the ball in the box, stopping play herself. the referee finally officially stopped play and began to walk down towards yourself and sam. “she’s been down for at least a minute, you are supposed to stop play!” you shouted, “what kinda refereeing is that? bullshit”

you stayed close while the physios tried to get sam onto her feet. you knew she had just come back from injury, she was doing too much. sure, you didn’t like her. but you couldn’t help but feel inclined to make sure she was alright.

and for some obsurd reason, the feeling was still there even after the final whistle blew and you had won a bronze medal.

you found sam sitting on the pitch, her head in her hands. you hesitated before crouching down next to her, “i’m sorry about the loss” you said, holding your hand out for her.

sam looked defeated as she saw who it was, “you deserved to win” she sighed, shaking your hand.

“you did lots of great work for football sam” you admitted. you took a deep breath before continuing, “is your calf okay?”.

“it’ll be fine” she nodded. you noticed the tears in her eyes, “thanks” she whispered.

“good game” you said, before standing up and heading off.

sam sighed, “you too”.

alanna headed over to check on her captain, just having watched the exchange between you and sam. “what did she want?” your rivalry was no secret, everyone knew that you both weren’t opposed to having words after a tough game.

“to see if i was okay” sam’s tone whilst still defeated, had a hint of surprise buried beneath it.

“yeah alright” alanna scoffed, holding out her hand to help sam onto her feet, “comes over to you after we’ve lost, sounds about right”

the night had wound down for the matildas. sure, they had an afterparty to go to, but there were lots of tired girls walking the ground.

“i’m gonna sleep on the bus before we have to go out” sam chuckled, zipping up her puffer jacket. “i’m ready to party” macca chuckled, giving sam a little nudge.

“it’s a constant emotion for her” alanna laughed.

“shut up, i-“ mackenzie was cut off, your voice peaking the trio’s interest. they saw you over by the sweden bus, particularly close to your teammate, a sour look on your face.

“what the hell what that about?” you asked. “what do you mean?” mags chuckled.

your eyes widened in shock, “i mean what you did to her was totally illegal”.

“it’s football, y/n” she said simply, trying to walk onto the bus.

“that is not football and you know it” you stopped her in her tracks, continuing your conversation. “we were already up, you didn’t have to do that” you said.

“sam is a tough girl, she’ll be fine” magda didn’t seem particularly remorseful, especially not after injuring her own teammate at chelsea. “you know she just came back from injury, going after her calf like that is just not alright” you shook your head at her

“i didn’t ‘go after’ her calf-“

you cut her off, “could’ve fooled me” you laughed.

“you know what, y/n-”

“girls that’s enough!” your coach cut you both off, “we just won a bronze medal, care to cool off a little bit” she raised her voice at you both.

“don’t play dirty,” you finished, pushing past her to get onto the bus.

“rich coming from you” she said, “last season you hated her, what’s changed?”.

you paused before answering, “nothing.. i just prefer to play by the rules” you lied.

“what the fuck?” alanna whispered, shocked by your change in demeanour.

“that was.. strangely nice of her?” macca looked to sam.

“i know” sam furrowed her brows, “what the hell”

“a change of heart maybe?” alanna chuckled jokingly.

“who knows” sam shrugged. maybe you two could get along after all.

[for-ships-that-never-sail]

Okay Y'ALL I saw Episode 5 today and these are the thoughts I jotted down while watching it (PART 2 OF 2)

Please don’t read below the cut if you are avoiding spoilers until you get to watch it yourself 

And FYI some of these may not have any context, but I guess it won’t matter cause you’ll have context in 7ish hours anyway (also sorry about how long all my thoughts and feelings are lol)

Awh Kate you’re so pretty - kinda weird to see her so chill though - she was so stressed all of season 2 that seeing her so serene is throwing me off tbh - I am so happy for you though my love

Also her outfit that looks like a sari is soooo gorgeous I WANTTTT

Love the cinnamon biscuits vs fruit jellies bit

Portia ma'am please listen to Varley FFS

lol I hope they did in fact fuck again like she wanted

Ugly crying at MY MESSSSSS

PARIS? oufff I love how comfortable she is, just casual teasing chit chats with bestie

“Undefended”? Charlotte needs a different hobby pleaseeee

LOLLLLL when did Penelope learn to do her hair and makeup by herself???? Cause there’s no fucking way she would’ve looked THAT fucking good after alllll of that lol

We were going to be KNIGHTS!! OMG sweet babiessss

“as much as I do” I can’t even blame anyone for anything they’ve done or said so far tbh 

This is such nuanced writing — I understand exactly where pretty much everyone is coming from and that’s really nice tbh 

Omg they really do want Cressida to marry a dinosaur 

WTF Cressida you do you girl fuck shit up for Penelope I don’t even care do whatever you have to do and go all out and save yourself cause no one else will I’m so sorry you were ever put in this position  

We have been acting uncouth AS OF LATE??? as of late????!? Omggg Portia girl pleaseeeee you had ONE job and you’re just gonna pass the buck to your daughters instead? STAHP own up to your shit cause you knowwww they bully her because youuu bullied her and the gall to say this is just happening LATELY on top lmao 

Though like in her eyes I always do see remorse too - I think she just lacks courage to ever really own up to everything in full because she’s just so guarded 

Honestly this is such stellar acting 

And also like, Penelope, most of you is your mom my girl - your brains, your overthinking, your inability to just say Yuh I done fucked up my bad lol 

Greg’s hat

Yesssss lord Kent find you some Bridgerton besties 

I actually do love Portia - yeah she’s been a colossal dick of a mom to Pen but as complex women go, I get her - If she makes amends with Pen for them daily microaggressions and general abuse one day, for real for real, she’d be really great 

Omg Mama B and Lady D are such big shippers - wish they didn’t fully cut out the Lady D stuff from the books though le sigh 

Eloise has a point - I agree - she had lotsss of alone time to say it - I understand Pens fear completely, but she must realize that her saying this is still soooo much better than him having to find out on his own - and there is no way he wouldn't - and he’d be more hurt by that part than the actual LW part I think and honestly Eloise is right about her being involved in that painful deception too, I wouldn’t want my own brother to feel betrayed by me like that either, given how often he wished LW ill out loud - and the longer Pen stays quiet the more guilty Eloise becomes as a sister too - If anything her not immediately snitching makes her moreee team Pen than team Colin - this is still a lowkey loyalty to Pen for sure - I think I may have issued this same ultimatum under these conditions too

Omggg JOHNNNNNN stop he’s having a panic attack why did Fran put him on the spot like thissss????

“As you rightly mocked me last season” lolllll

Awh Colin and the toast 

Eloise should nottttt have done her second toast - now THAT part was uncalled for, but I guess they want to keep the stress levels high 

Lmao Kate to the rescue 

I loveeeee how close they are sitting in public - but like… does nooooo one else see this??? Hips glued together? Hands holding??? Just out in the open?? No one thinks this is insanely intimate for a newly engaged couple of the ton??? Even if it’s a love match? None of the older women are clocking this and saying 1. Sit the fuck apart 2. Did yall fuck already cause yall look like you fucked and we don’t even have a wedding date set yet??? Are you not going to even ask for a special license?? You just want her to pop a baby before she technically should and cause more drama?? Like who is in charge of all these fools?? Mama B what is you doing??? Do you not think Colin is being a nasty girl with his wife-to-be?? lol

Lol Anthony I love you, you competitive lil bitch 

Lmaooooo Eloise and Penelope being the smartest bitches of the ton YESSSS

Portia trying to show where Pen's brain comes from lol

Muddy boots panic again 

LMFAOOOOOOO Mama B your face is going a mile a minute right now listening to the muddy boots

"I saw straight away" OH MY FROHN you will end me one day

Pen get your shit together pls grab a brown paper bag or smthn 

Oooohhhhh fuck I get itttttt

Cressida girl my bad I get ittttttt sooooo much more - I didn’t fully understand her thought process behind what we already knew she was gonna do until just nowwww - they really set it up for her well - girl needed an exit and everyone fully offered her one - I have no issues with this at all tbh 

Omg omg this is the most chaotic midnight strike of all time like 6 different things happened at the same time???? 

Well that was some good old fashioned Bridgerton CHAOS Hope y'all enjoyed it too!!!! LESS THAN 8 HOURS TO GOOOOOOOOOO

[crueltyserpent]

When she introduces us, she’s either my girlfriend or my mom. She’s neither of course, she killed my mom and my girlfriend so long ago at this point. Sometimes I think she chooses whichever she thinks will make me more uncomfortable; it’s not like whoever she introduces us to will live long enough for their thoughts on it to matter. If I were to choose a name for what I am, I would probably go with captive. Victim also comes to mind, but it’s hard to feel like I’m the most victimized person in the room when she’s cutting off the fingers of a naked woman one by one.  At least she’s not making me eat them this time. The “here comes the airplane” bit with raw human flesh isn’t nearly as funny as she thinks it is.

If I guess why she keeps me around, why I’m not dead in a ditch somewhere like every other poor bitch who get’s her attention, I’d guess it’s because simply torturing attractive women to death every other day doesn’t fully sate her appetite for cruelty. Sure, her ability to wring physical pain out of a stranger is staggering, but there’s a special type of satisfaction she gets from the form of psychological torture that is only possible to inflict on someone she keeps close for an extended period of time. I don’t know if she chose me because something about me was uniquely appealing to hurt or she just liked how my dick felt inside her, but at this point I’m fairly confident she’s sunk too much work into messing with my head to casually replace me.

The woman bleeding out on the floor is the owner of the Air BNB we’re staying at, a chipper blonde thirtysomething who was now karmically paying for the fact that nothing in her life had ever gone wrong before. I used to vomit seeing a girl taken apart like this. Now it’s boring enough that I can sit on the bed reading a romance novel while barley acknowledging the poor cunt’s slowly decreasing number of body parts. This is an easy one, relatively speaking. I don’t really have enough emotional energy left to feel bad for well to do women a decade older than me who’d never give me so much as a smile if I weren’t a customer.

I call myself a captive, but it’s not like I couldn’t walk out of the room if I wanted to, physically speaking. She wouldn’t stop me, she’d continue her ruthless execution and not even remark on me leaving. I was never bound (except for sex), never locked in a room, always free to go where I wanted. It had just been incredibly clear to me that if I ever made an attempt to do something she disapproved of, she could make my life so much worse than it already was as her unwilling partner in crime. One time she had left me alone for three months, letting me think I was free, only to return and kill every single person I had met and liked to any degree. I was trapped with her because she had created a situation where helping her murder people every few days was the decision I could make with the lowest innocent body count. And it meant that sometimes women like this died instead of the cute queer girls my age who used to blow me in alleys. Seeing someone I might have been friends with in a different life die was a whole different story to something like this.

I turn the page, working my way through a particularly arbitrary love triangle as I hear the death rattle. I don’t remark on it, but I’m not at all surprised when my bloodstained captor sits at the foot of the bed, looking at me with those hungry eyes. Don’t get me wrong, this woman is evil, the worst person I could even imagine who I would do anything to be free of.

She’s also probably the hottest person I’ve ever met. She was the first woman ever to be hot enough to make me cheat on my girlfriend, in what was either the greatest mistake of my life or the sole decision that kept me alive, depending on what would have happened if I turned her down. Her nude body sprayed with fresh blood is a powerful sight, and her toothed smile makes me shiver as blood rushes between my legs.

“Anything spicy happening in your book, honey?” She asked in a soft, motherly tone, her hands moving to undo my belt buckle. I hate how much her sexy mom routine works on me. It’s humiliatingly effective. I should be anywhere else right now, doing anything else, doing anyone else, but as she rides me, her other victims blood dripping off her chest over my face, I can’t do anything but whimper in enjoyment.

[foxymoxynoona]

So...did we ever actually get a drabble with Jungkook getting to hold Kai for the first time after he's born? 🥺 the lil' boy who's made up of him and the woman he's loved for decades 🥺

I got carried away 😅

Story: Amended Characters: Isabella & Jungkook Length: 7,322 CW: Birthing scene with references to cutting cords and placentas and stitches, health complications at birth, stress, fluffy fluff

“There’s evidence of meconium in the amniotic fluid,” were not the first words Jungkook had expected to hear the seconds before his son’s head began to emerge from between the legs of his wife. It was surreal, what he witnessed, it had seemed like an impossible thing –like a cartoon, not something women actually went through. But Isabella was real, really going through this, really clenching her fists against her chest as she curled forward and pushed with everything in her, his tough strong girl who had agreed to go through all of this again so they could do it together. She had known what this was like. He kinda did but, he was learning in the moment, not really. 

Watching Isabella go through this pain and being unable to fix it was a guilt second only to knowing the pain he had caused for her when they were younger. Well, he had sort of caused this too… but she had asked him to! Very sexily! How was he supposed to have resisted sex and getting to have a baby with her! No mortal man could resist that.

“Head is out,” the doctor called and Jungkook realized he was both present and not. They had suggested he watch. He would never be able to unsee what he was seeing now, but it was trippy –not just the baby’s head, covered in gooey gunk and some kind of white… cheese looking stuff??-- but this whole image, this whole experience.

“What does that mean, meconium?” he belatedly asked as the nurses encouraged Isabella to wait, not to push, as they quickly wiped off the baby’s face and sucked snarfy sounding stuff out of the nose and mouth. A head of hair he hadn’t expected stuck out at odd angles as the baby’s mouth opened and closed in protest, eyes firmly shut in what looked more like anger as the injustice of this introduction to the world.

Do they look like me? he wondered, feeling like the room had gone still despite the rapid actions of the doctor and nurses.

Isabella yanked him out of it, demanding, “Do you see the baby? How’s it look? Is everything ok?”

“The meconium,” he repeated, not sure someone had answered.

“Don’t worry about that right now,” one of the nurses said. “It may mean nothing, we just want to get Baby really clean to keep it out of their airway.”

“What if it’s–”

Jungkook was interrupted by the doctor calling, “Ok let’s get this baby clear–” The baby’s cry interrupted him, like it was say yeah get a fucking move on here, I’m a head sticking out of a vagina!

Jungkook grabbed Isabella’s hand, wanting to be helpful and involved somehow but feeling absolutely unnecessarily. For most of labor Isabella had not wanted to be touched. It had all moved so much faster than he’d expected. It wasn’t like he could contribute much of anything as Isabella curled forward, face sweaty and red and everything in her clenched as she expelled a tiny human from her body.

“Fuck you’re so hot,” he rushed –not quite what he’d meant to say, but absolute admiration for her loosened the words.

“The fuck?” she laughed. “Doctor this man is harassing me.” Her breath was panted, her words a cheat as she stole a break

Maybe those were the first words their child heard from their mother, if the baby could hear anything over the crying.

“One more push, one more push, you’re almost done!” the nurses chanted and Jungkook saw with amazement that a baby from the hips up had now emerged. He couldn’t process that it was real, that this was really happening, that Isabella had not just grown a big belly and that there really had been a tiny person in there all along. Their tiny person.

“I love you,” he said to her, to the baby, to both of them. “You’re so cool, Isabella.” He had the sudden need to rush out as many good things as he could, so the baby would be born surrounded by words of love and kindness. He assumed Isabella had showered Ezra and Lily with love at their births but he knew their “fathers” had not, not the way he did now for them, not the way he would for this baby.

He had wanted so badly for everything with this baby to be different and now he had contributed basically nothing to Isabella’s labor. She hadn’t wanted the massages or the kisses, she hadn’t found it amusing that he’d driven her to the hospital in his cop car with the siren on, and it had all moved too quickly for him to walk her up or down the hall with their arms linked and his words of devotion carrying her through her contractions. 

They’d arrived at the hospital approximately eighteen minutes ago and here she was pushing out the baby.

This wasn’t what he’d planned. He wanted to be better than Landon and Stig.

“I love you, baby, you’re amazing,” he said. Isabella grabbed his hand and squeezed it this time with her push –a short one, replaced with a stunned, open face and a gasp. OUt of the corner of his eye, Jungkook saw the baby suddenly slide down, followed by a rush of fluid and the cheers of the medical staff.

“It’s out!” Isabella cried.

“He’s been screaming, didn’t you hear him Mama?” one of the nurses joked. 

“Dad, are you going to cut the cord?”

“A boy,” Jungkook cried over his son’s cries, hands itching to grab him and comfort him. He glanced at Isabella to see if that was ok, that they’d had a boy. She had insisted so many times she didn’t care either way but… but a son, a boy might be like him… would Ezra be ok with a brother…? 

Isabella was reaching forward, eyes glassy as she called, “Give him here.”

“One second mama, we want to make sure we got his mouth cleared–”

“Does it look like he aspirated–”

“I see some in the mouth but–”

“Dad, you cutting this cord?” the doctor called, stretching an intestinal-looking thing as a nurse held out a pair of scissors. Jungkook took them in a stupor. He didn’t really want to do this thing, it felt wrong to cut a body party, a piece of Isabella and their baby, but in the moment he was too overwhelmed to remember he’d meant to say no. He’d never forget the way the cutting felt in his hand and quickly thrust the scissors back, attention turning towards the baby who was now being dried and looked over, a stethoscope pressed to his chest as his little legs kicked and his hands reaching for a parent who was already failing him.

Jungkook didn’t realize he’d put his hand on Isabella’s head until she grabbed his wrist, her other arm hanging in the air as she called, “What’s wrong? What’s going on? Jungkook, I can’t see–”

“They’re looking at him and listening to his chest,” Jungkook said. Isabella’s panic made his rise. Was something really wrong?

“Hey, what’s going on?” he demanded, leaving her side and striding over to the rotisserie-chicken-heating looking thing the baby was on now. He didn’t know the doctor who had suddenly appeared from nowhere in all the chaos.

“Hello, I’m Dr. Gardner,” she said, “I’m the pediatric specialist here.” She held her finger up and listened again to the baby’s chest, though he’d stopped screaming. It was more of a gentle, plaintive cry now, as if he was giving up on life–

Or comforted by Jungkook’s sudden near voice.

Jungkook shifted the active part of his brain away from the doctor and to the baby –his baby– who needed him.

“Hey, hey little guy,” he cooed, leaning down and reaching right out to stroke a little chubby cheek. He got goosebumps, saying that to his son, to a real baby that was his. The baby’s head turned, wobbly, as if trying to press against his finger. “It’s ok. It’s ok you’re just born now, and your mama is waiting to hold you close.”

The pediatric doctor was rattling things off –a weight, a height, an APGAR score.

“I hear a slight crackle,” she told the nurse writing things down. “Breathing is slightly elevated but hard to say whether that’ll linger. Let’s check his vocal cords…”

“Excuse me, Dad. You can hold his hand but I need his head,” a nurse said, nudging him out of the way to first slide on a tiny yellow hat and then hold the infant’s head steady. Jungkook felt a jolt of alarm as the doctor suddenly slid a massive camera light clamp tool thing into the tiny little mouth. The baby didn’t seem more upset by this than he already was, didn’t even flail about it, though a nurse held his legs still anyway.

“Wait, what’s going on? Is this really necessary?” Jungkook demanded, worried he was already failing his son. He needed to understand what they were doing before they just did things! 

“Koo?” Isabella called. “Someone tell me what’s happening!”

“Hands and feet are still bluish but may be pinking up,” the nurse holding the legs said.

The doctor nodded and removed the tool –which Jungkook saw now was just a light, not even as big as his panic had made him think. The baby screamed louder and he felt a surge of anger that no one was answering their questions.

“Excuse me,” he said, not as politely as he intended, and promptly scooped his baby up right from beneath the doctors. There was so little weight to the body as Jungkook’s hands lifted, his skin warm and oddly dry-feeling but with a softness to it he couldn’t describe. Jungkook didn’t know what he had expected, but not for the this newborn to feel like such a baby. He was only minutes old, how did he feel so real?

Unphased, the doctor touched Jungkook’s arm and cooed at the baby, “Good good. I’m sorry, little sunshine, we just have to make sure you’re ok.”

The baby continued to cry. He was so small! And yet, not quite as small as Jungkook had expected. Sorah had been miniscule, and Amelia just about. This baby felt bigger than Sian and Parker and Sam had been, but maybe he just didn’t remember? Jungkook tucked the baby down into the crook of his arm, nestled against his chest, and took it all back; suddenly the baby felt tiny! Impossibly small! He felt like his arms were too big and awkward despite ample experience holding even very fresh babies. Many times! Not quite as fresh as this one. 

He was moving on fumes now as he bounced and hummed and tried to believe this was real.

“It’s ok, you’re ok, shhhh, I’ve got you.”

“Jungkook? What’s going on?”

“We can go to mom,” the doctor said, touching Jungkook’s arm. She had a smile on her face which soothed Jungkook because it had to mean nothing was badly wrong, though he couldn’t quite fight off the resentment that this doctor had already upset his baby and delayed his comfort and not even answered his questions.

He turned away from the chicken-roaster and saw Isabella watching with absolute terror that seemed totally disconnected from the doctor and nurses still working between her legs. She looked completely ignorant of that, her whole attention trained on Jungkook and the baby. Everything right now was so weird.

The baby gave a full body shudder and a nurse suggested, “I’ll get a diaper.”

“Who cares about a diaper,” Jungkook snapped, offended she’d think he was afraid of whatever the baby might produce. He was just born! Jungkook was his dad, he didn’t care, let babies be naked! “A blanket? Please.” It was tacked on. Politeness wasn’t at the front of his mind right now; his baby needed things and what, they were worried about some pee or poop? If that would make him feel better, he could poop all he wanted!

Jungkook’s throat felt thick as he tucked the baby higher, pressing his jaw gently to the hatted top of head as he carried him over to his anxious eomma. It was crazy. It was unbelievable. He was holding the baby and he couldn’t even make sense of that yet because it actually didn’t feel that weird at all, of course he was holding his son, hadn’t he always been holding his son since the dawn of time? Wasn’t this all just a really nice dream?

A nurse held out a blanket but first Jungkook lowered the baby into Isabella’s waiting arms, then took the blanket himself and tucked it around the baby. Isabella’s gasped and immediately pushed the hat off and stoked the hair and chubby little face and papery-thin ears as tears spilled over. 

“Oh my god, our baby. Look at him.”

Only then did Jungkook more fully appreciate that he had held his son for the first time. His real living breathing in-the-world son. The baby’s cries quieted to a single final chirp of complaint and then nothing, just peace on his mom’s chest. Jungkook decided the baby had been real a moment ago, there was this haze of unreal around everything until Isabella and the baby were together. Now it was real. Impossible, but real.

“Oh my god,” Isabella said again. “He’s got so much hair!” Jungkook laughed and reached out to stroke the baby’s face again too, leaning close on the bed beside Isabella, ignorant to the bustle around the room. That was just background noise now. All that mattered was that suddenly they had a baby and Isabella was holding their baby.

He felt complete in a way he had not known was missing. Him, Isabella, Ezra, Lily, Gidget, and now this baby to tie them all together, he felt whole. He suddenly desperately wanted everyone here so he could hold everyone at once. His heart would burst. 

“Was that you?!” Isabella gasped, looking up at him. The whining noise had come from him, not the baby at all, though it sounded like a baby noise. He tried to explain himself but only a cracked non-word came out and he blinked rapidly against the tears. “Oh my god you’re going to cry,” Isabella giggled. Her face glowed with sweat and effort and joy and Jungkook wasn’t surprised at all the way their son stared adoringly up at it. What a beautiful first view.

“I’m trying not to,” Jungkook admitted and laughed as his eyes threatened to run over. He pressed his face to Isabella’s shoulder and drew a deep shaky breath. The blanket moved against his chin, a little foot cycling. “Hey, are you trying to kick me already?!” The baby was a solid warm lump under the blanket, so warm Jungkook couldn’t believe it as he patted the little butt he’d been shown so many times on the ultrasounds. 

“Ok, I’m sorry to interrupt again, we want to draw some blood,” the pediatric doctor said.

“You have to take him?” Isabella asked, shifting as though trying to sit up. The doctor down south told her not to move, so Jungkook slid his arm across her, trying not to notice that there were stitches happening in a place stitches shouldn’t be. How was Isabella not pay any attention at all to that?!

“In a moment, but you keep holding him now. Often that helps a baby improve and wake up, which is what we want to see, he’s still a little sleepy. Right now we’re just going to stick his foot. I will explain while the nurse does that. We noticed meconium in the amniotic fluid right before he was born. Meconium is the baby’s first stool, it’s this blank inky stuff–”

“We have two other children, I remember it,” Isabella interrupted. The joy was gone from her face, she looked so serious at the doctor. Jungkook could read her mind. Spit it out already.

“The concern is whether the baby aspirates the meconium into his lungs. If so, it can make it difficult for him to get the oxygen he needs. The good news is, he looks really good, his color is good, he is responsive and strong. There were no signs of fetal distress during labor and you delivered quickly, but a quick delivery can be hard on a baby too. I do hear a slight crackle in his lungs,” the doctor continued. Jungkook watched the nurse grab their baby’s tiny foot with a needle and resisted the urge to push her away. The baby didn’t seem to notice or care anyway. He was just… existing against Isabella, breathing quickly like he couldn’t quite trust the air of this new world.

“That’s bad,” Isabella said. “Is that why he’s kind of breathing fast? Does he need oxygen or something?”

“It’s not good but we don’t know if it’s bad yet. We’ll run a blood gas to look for low blood acidity, low oxygen or increased carbon dioxide. The most accurate way we can look to see if he’s aspirated is with a laryngoscope, which we’re setting up now.”

“Right now?” Isabella asked with alarm. “He was just born!”

“The last thing we want is your baby not getting the oxygen he needs to do well,” the doctor explained. “If he needs to go on oxygen therapy, better we do that quickly.”

“But…” Isabella trailed off, face distressed, but she was already shifting to hand it over. “You can check quickly?”

“I don’t understand, he’s in danger?” Jungkook tried to catch up.

“We hope not but we want to make sure so we can react quickly. Your baby’s APGAR score was a 5, which means–”

“He needs help,” Isabella said. “Take him, do what he needs! But tell me what’s going on!”

Jungkook felt like he’d done the wrong thing bringing the baby over now. He didn’t know what to do. This wasn’t what he’d planned. He and Isabella were just supposed to snuggle their new baby now; he wasn’t supposed to trail after the doctor carrying his son back to the chicken oven where medical staff had set up several tools next to an incubation bed. Just the sight of that was terrifying and known. It meant something was really wrong.

Jungkook barely held himself together as the baby was braced again and the doctor slid an actual camera this time down the tiny throat. Jungkook wanted to push them all away but was frozen with the terror of it. What did it mean if the baby didn’t have enough oxygen? He didn’t understand in a real way, only that it was bad. What was happening to their baby?

“Faint staining,” the doctor said, looking at a grainy image on the small monitor that meant nothing to Jungkook. He wanted to scream at the awful image of his newborn child with a camera in its mouth. This was wrong, this was a nightmare.

“Very faint though,” she said as she withdrew the tools and set them on a tray for a nurse to carry off. “Let’s recheck APGAR.” Jungkook could only stand there as they ran through a series of questions again –about baby’s skin tone, response to thwacking on the heels, a pulse check, temperature. Jungkook felt like he’d shit himself, he was so anxious, but mindlessly called things over to Isabella before realizing she’d just delivered the placenta. Did he want to see it? No, he told the nurse; how could he care about that when they were listening to his baby’s lungs again? Also, kinda gross…

Suddenly the baby jolted and cried out.

“Ah! Sorry, little one, was that cold?” the doctor grinned and shared a smile with the nurses. She concentrated on listening and nodded, then glanced over her notes as the baby began squirming. 

“What’s happening?” Isabella called again. “Someone tell me!”

“Your baby’s APGAR score is improving,” the doctor called back. “That’s good. That’s very good.” She slid her finger along his arm and palm and smiled when little fingers curled around it. “That’s better. That’s better, little one, you’re waking up.”  

“Oxygen?” the nurse asked.

“Set up for the chest x ray, let’s do that since I saw the staining but… but these signs are good… come, let’s get baby back to mom for now.” 

Jungkook wasn’t thrilled the doctor picked the baby up this time, after the nurses had added a diaper. Something about the diaper seemed wrong, like they were already trying to clean the baby up when he and Isabella just wanted to be with the baby, no diaper needed, just them. He trailed along as the doctor whose name he’d already forgotten returned the baby to Isabella’s chest, offering her a reassuring smile. Isabella looked terrified and Jungkook didn’t know what to do about it. He wasn’t sure his touch would be comforting since it hadn’t been for labor, so he just hovered beside her and watched.

“Good news, mom and dad, baby’s looking a little better. I do see signs of meconium staining on his cords but it’s very, very faint which hopefully means he aspirated very little. The crackle is still in his lungs. This is all very slight but something we want to monitor closely. His heart rate is picking up and his breathing is slowing down, all very good signs. We’ll redo the blood gas in a few hours as well but there’s a balance to strike between making sure he’s supported and not being too aggressive with anything that will tax his little lungs.”

“So what does that mean?” Isabella asked, bless her, because Jungkook didn’t understand a fucking thing.

“It means he is looking better by the minute despite aspirating the meconium so right now I want you to take the time you want to do skin to skin like you are, try to nurse him, just love on him. But we will want to watch him closely for the next few hours and if anything changes, put him on oxygen, so you’re going to see a lot of us until we’re sure he’s all right.”

“Should we do that right now?” Isabella asked. “I don’t want to hold off just for my sake–”

“No no, I promise I would not risk anything. Right now the best thing is for him to be surrounded by you and watched. When you sleep though, we will want to take him to the nursery for close watch, ok?”

“I’m here,” Jungkook reminded. “I can watch him while she sleeps.”

The doctor smiled and agreed, “Yes, absolutely. I will explain the things to watch. But both of you should rely on medical staff while you are here to get the rest you need to take care of him at home. We may have him stay here a couple extra days.”

“In the NICU?” Isabella asked.

“I don’t think he needs NICU as of now, we’ll just keep watching. He is seeming stronger by the minute, we just want to make sure we’re quick to react if that changes. See, he’s rooting, that’s a good sign too.”

Jungkook couldn’t help but feel like she’d tossed a bucket of stress over them. He watched the baby with more anxiety than fascination as Isabella went through the motions of stroking his face and pressing her nipple into his mouth –something that seemed old hand to her after two kids but Jungkook thought was pretty fascinating. The pediatric doctor remained to watch too, a whole party of nurses as well, but Isabella didn’t seem to mind the audience.

“Is it bad?” he asked her quietly, hoping she would know more and could give him an answer.

“I don’t know… he looks so perfect… I think if it was really bad they’d have him on oxygen so they’re just watching…” She looked nervous. Conflicted. He resented that the doctor had interfered with their joy. He felt like worry was making him miss everything. 

“Ready to move her to a room?” a nurse at the door called. 

Jungkook trailed after them, not sure how he was supposed to fix any of this and angry that they hadn’t had more than a minute to bask in each others presence after birth and terrified that a big hand was going to suddenly reach down and steal his son away before he even got to know him.

**

The baby had been born shortly after seven o’clock in the morning. It was weird to get messages from family members about delivering the kids to school, about work, wanting to know when they could visit and asking for pictures. Jungkook hadn’t even taken pictures during labor or immediately after the baby was born. Another failure. He tried to make up for it in the room, snapping photos of Isabella exhausted but mooning over the baby, the baby snuggled against her chest, the baby trying to nurse because Isabella said that was fine to photograph. 

Eomma and Appa came by right away and couldn’t believe a whole baby had been born in such a short period of time. Soona came too, and Gina. They all fluttered around Isabella and the baby and Jungkook was glad to have something to do, taking pictures, fetching Isabella water and food, reciting the things the doctors had said even though they didn’t make sense to him. He wished he could believe everyone’s assurances that the baby would be fine, but they didn’t know.

Soona went with him for the baby’s x-ray because he insisted, needing to feel like he was doing something for his baby. His sister was a doctor, no one would refuse to answer her questions, and Soona would tell him what they were really saying. It was all so scary. It didn’t matter that the doctors were saying things were improving, there was still that crackle in his lungs, and they decided to start him on antibiotics because he was running a fever, and Jungkook worried worried worried. A newborn baby shouldn’t run even a small fever! He was glad to have his big sister there to ask the right questions.

It was several hours before family left to let Isabella rest before more family would come by later. Jungkook nodded seriously when Eomma told him to be firm if they wanted fewer visitors –that was another thing he could do. But he knew Isabella would want the kids to come by and meet their brother as soon as they were out of school. He hoped the baby would be healthy and strong enough; it wasn’t risky, right? And–

“Jungkook.” He went at her call in an instant, leaning down on the side of the bed. “You’re worried,” she so wisely detected.

“Yeah.”

“But he’s doing ok,” she said.

“Shouldn’t they put him on oxygen just to be sure?” Jungkook asked. He’d made the mistake of looking up on his phone what it meant to aspirate meconium in a quiet moment. Low oxygen at birth could cause all sorts of brain trauma. They might not even see it for months or years. He might seem fine now but then get worse later.   

“Koo.”

“Hm?”

“Snuggle down with me.” She shuffled over as best she could in the bed, and he kicked his shoes off before balancing on it with her, not trusting it would hold them both until it did. The baby had fallen asleep on her chest, sound asleep, mouth open, perfectly at peace.

“What if he’s got brain damage?” Jungkook whispered, afraid the baby would hear.

“Then we do whatever he needs,” she said. “But it wasn’t much meconium. It’s light staining. His blood gas wasn’t bad.”

“But–”

“I know,” she murmured. “Everything is so scary. Everything can go wrong and they’re so little and you feel so helpless to do anything. I feel that terror too. But look at him. He’s here, and he’s strong, I can tell.”

Jungkook had to admit the baby did look healthy and peaceful. He looked less blue and more like a little plump puffy baby. He didn’t even seem to be having a hard time breathing right now; his whole chest didn’t convulse like it had off and on all morning.

“Is he breathing?” Jungkook suddenly gasped.

“He’s breathing. I can feel it. He’s just content right now,” Isabella said. “He’s good.”

“He’s good,” Jungkook repeated.

“We have a baby.”

“We have a baby,” Jungkook repeated, then added, “And I only cried a little. There wasn’t time to cry.”

“I know. That was scary but… but it’s quiet now.”

It was. It was so quiet and peaceful. Isabella was a beast and seemed to have come through labor as if it was nothing, which he did not understand.

“How are you feeling?” he asked her, realizing he hadn’t in a few minutes.

“I’m still fine, Koo,” she laughed. “Puffy and sore. They’re going to come tell me to try and pee soon and I’ll probably cry about that. I don’t want to get out of bed.”

“You should rest. You… did a lot.”

“You think?” she giggled.

He stroked her face to get her to look up so he could kiss her and finally his touch seemed welcome. He hadn’t had time to entertain the fear it would be permanent, that space she wanted, but it was gone now anyway, just a figment of labor. He could feel she was sleepy by the low energy of her kiss, warm and soft and lazy. 

“It’s so different,” she murmured. 

“What is?” he asked. He kissed her forehead, his hand dropping down to rest against the lump of the baby because he needed to be part of this joyful love too. Whatever happened, the baby was loved and wanted and Isabella was right, they would figure out whatever he needed if something did go wrong later on.

“This part,” she answered. “It’s so weird. When Ezra was born, I almost felt bad for Landon because I just had this instant connection with the baby, he was mine and… and I think Landon felt very left out. He didn’t know what to do.”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“You’re amazing, Koo. When he was first born and the doctor had him over there and I didn’t know what was happening but you were there.”

“Doing nothing.”

“Being there. When Lily was born, you know it was just the two of us, me and her, and that felt right too. I would have liked to have a partner there but not Stig. He didn’t belong in that moment with me, meeting my daughter. She was never his. And this time… honestly, I was kind of afraid I would resent you being here.”

“Resent me like… being present at all?”

“I’ve never been someone’s wife. I’ve never had a partner the way you are. Just… people who interfere, Landon, Stig…  failures as parents… I was a little afraid the baby would be born and I would just want him in my arms and everyone to go away, even you.”

Jungkook swallowed. It wasn’t like he hadn’t had similar fears but it was terrifying to hear Isabella admit them. She’d fought so hard to protect and raise her children, and he’d never done this before, he fully expected his bumbling might make her defensive.

“But seeing you hold him, it feels the same as if I’m holding him,” she said. “There’s nowhere in the world our kids are safer than with you.”

Relief flooded Jungkook’s body.

“I’m so glad you’re here, Koo. Labor sucks and I couldn’t have done this again without you.”

“You seemed to do just fine,” he mumbled, abashed by her affection.

“I know I didn’t want much touching but… but you were here. And you listened when I said something and you nearly shoved that elderly couple out of the elevator so I could get in–”

“I thought you were going to have the baby in the hall,” he chuckled. “They thought so too, everyone was jumping out of the way.”

“I almost did!”

“It went faster than I thought it would.”

“Me too. My perineum isn’t happy about it.”

“Ah, the tearing…”

“Let’s not talk about it.”

“I’ll still eat there all the same but–”

“Jungkook!”

“We’ll wait until you’re all healed up and then I’ll take care of things,” he assured her, overjoyed by her scandalized glare. 

“You just watched a child emerge from my vagina. I would think that’d cool your engines for a while–”

“No way. You’re so cool, Bella.”

“Here, take him.”

“Oh do you need–”

“No, just you hold him now. I bet he won’t even wake up, he’s so out. Maybe he’s going to be a heavy sleeper like you.”

“Is that bad?” he asked.

“Having a baby who sleeps well would be the greatest blessing.” He was barely listening to her because she’d started to drag the baby towards him, the whole little burrito. At the last second Jungkook recalled all the conversation about skin to skin and yanked his shirt over his head and tossed it away.

“What are you doing?”

“Uh… they said that uh, skin to skin with dad is–”

“You’re so cute,” she grinned, and dumped the baby burrito onto his chest. He was so warm Jungkook thought he must still have a fever though the nurse’s said the fever was gone. His hands and feet were now a healthy pink that Jungkook hadn’t even known to hope for. 

He adjusted the little one against his chest –who, as Isabella suspected, barely stirred. His face rubbed against Jungkook’s pec and for a second he thought the baby was rooting and would wake up, but he just relaxed and slumbered on. 

“What a lucky baby to have two parents with big tits,” Isabella mused.

“I’ll scream if he goes for my nipple.”

“Count on it.”

Jungkook’s laugh trailed off. He was too mesmerized. Dark hair peeked out from beneath the cap, feathery soft over little skin rolls at the back of his neck. He wasn’t swaddled, just draped with a blanket, his little body curled up like he’d probably been inside Isabella. He was so, so new, so fresh. Jungkook knew within weeks, months, years this baby was going to turn into a little person but it was hard to believe right now. Jungkook slid his thumb into the little fist, long papery fingernails barely a scratch against his skin. He had that feeling again he’d had earlier: I am complete, my family is complete. I’ve been waiting for you and now everything is good.

“Maybe we should have let Ezra and Lily skip school so they could come sooner,” Jungkook said. “It feels wrong they haven’t met him yet.”

“They’ll meet him soon and have every day with him. Enjoy the quiet now.”

“That’s true… I just miss them…”

“What are we going to introduce him by?”

“What do you mean?”

“What should we name him, Jungkook,” she snickered, and kissed his shoulder. He kissed the side of her head, briefly again distracted by how amazing she was to have delivered a fucking baby and now just be hanging out talking to him like it was no big deal. She hadn’t even cried. He’d cried from constipated shits before and now she was asking him what they should name this baby she had made?

“We had that list of names.”

“You choose.”

“What?!”

“You pick his name,” she said again. “As long as it’s not something I hate. No Wolf.”

“But you gave birth…”

“And you’re his dad. I got to name our first two.”

Jungkook studied the little face pressed to his chest. He tried to fit a name to this person, but how? Nothing fit. He was a brand new baby, a blank slate. There was no personality yet to tag a name onto, only a little potato with a head of dark hair and a history of scaring the shit out of his parents from the first minute.

But there actually was a name on the list that had seemed familiar to him from the moment he’d written it down. Isabella had not seemed to react any particular way to it, but she hadn’t struck it out, and he’d been almost afraid to point it again in case she didn’t like it. He wasn’t sure where he’d even heard it, it had just lodged in his brain.

“Kai,” he said.

“Kai?” she repeated. “Kai Jeon?”

“It sounds cool, right?” he asked hopefully. 

“It sounds like a manga character,” she said, then grinned. “The protagonist. I like it.”

“Really?”

“Ezra, Lily, and Kai. It sounds good together.”

“Yeah, I thought so too!”

“So you’ve thought about this.”

“I just liked the name… OK, and what about Ronin for the middle name? The ronin were samurais who no longer served a master or family, only themselves… kind of like wandering knights… That’s cool, right? Ah, too geeky?”

“Kai Ronin Jeon sounds cool.”

“And it’s kind of like Ezra Ryan and Lily Eleanor… and Kai Ronin… it sounds good, like you said.”

“Yeah.”

“Cool. Hi, Kai. You are going to have a way easier time learning to spell your name than I did so you’re welcome,” Jungkook murmured, patting the little cushy diapered butt. “Kai.” He felt a joy course through him. Yes, the name was right, he felt it in his heart. The baby was right. The family was right. The woman was definitely right.

He wanted to say that, to tell her how much this meant to him, to tell her that he recognized the miracle it had taken for them to be together like this and married and having a baby, and that she had done most of the work. He wanted to tell her he would never take this for granted, that she’d been willing to do it all one more time with him even though the last times had been so hard for her.

What came out was, “Hey I look pretty good for a dad of three, huh?”

“If you weren’t holding him, I would push you off the bed.”

“You look banging as a mom of three–”

“Jungkook–”

“Your tits are…” He trailed off, realizing they were definitely getting bigger. He’d know. He studied them carefully.

“Yeah, I think my milk is coming in faster this time, so he better have an appetite. I can’t believe he’s over nine pounds…”

“Yeah, is that good?”

“It’s big.”

“Is it? I don’t know baby sizes. He seems bigger than my nieces and nephews were.”

“It’s big.”

“He’s strong,” Jungkook decided.

“I think it’s mostly his head. He got your head.”

“Wha? I have a normal sized head.”

“Tell that to my fourteen stitches.”

“Is it really fourteen?!”

“I don’t know, I made that up, I wasn’t listening –he’s awake.”

Jungkook’s gaze snapped immediately down to the little face, to the little dark eyes cracking open. His brow and mouth were scrunched, making him look very grumpy to get woken up.

“Oh hey look at that scowl, he’s definitely yours, Bella–”

“I swear to god, Jungkook.”

“Ah, I think he’s doing that breathing thing again,” Jungkook frowned as the baby began to breathe with his whole chest again. “I’ll give him to you to nurse and get a nurse to check him again.”

“You think we should?” Isabella asked and Jungkook was floored by the question, by the way she looked up at him, by the trust he felt from her. She was the one who’d had babies before! But she was relying on him as the father to help make sure their baby was ok. That Kai was ok.

“Yeah. I’d rather check too much and annoy the nurses than wait too long if he needs oxygen, right? I’m sure he’s fine but I’ll get the nurse.” He felt puffed up with the responsibility of it as he gently eased Kai over to Isabella. Kai let out a cry of complaint, just a little single yowl, and Jungkook’s heart skipped a beat.

“You like me already, huh?”

“Your tits are better,” Isabella teased.

“Definitely not true, sugar butt. I’ll be back.” He said it just to get her huff of annoyance at the saccharine pet name. Good. He loved Isabella grumpy with affection. He loved her needing him and trusting him and pulling him close when it would be so easy for her to push him away in her exhaustion and fear over their baby. 

He hadn’t felt like it wasn’t true, but he felt for sure now that they were in this together. Maybe that was partly where the sense of completeness came from, not just from holding Kai and feeling like his family was complete, but this bone-deep proof now that he was Isabella’s –to have, to hold, to rely on– in a way he thought he never could be.

He went off to bother the nurses again, gladly, because there was nothing he wouldn’t do for his wife and kids.

*

Isabella felt it too: that connection, that worry, that relief, that wholeness. 

Kai would be all right, she believed it because she had to, and because he had his daddy to take over when Isabella couldn’t. It didn’t matter if Jungkook didn’t come into this with the parenting history she did. He was Kai’s dad, and he wouldn’t quit until he got it right, until Kai had whatever he needed –just like he had with Ezra, and Lily, and Isabella. 

Kai was perfect, just as both her other children had been. She had the most wonderful children in the world, and any of her fears that blending a family would be hard vanished when she held Kai. He belonged here, and Ezra and Lily would feel it too, just like they had with Jungkook even before she did. 

Jungkook came back, chatting animatedly with the nurse. He’d been up all night with her once the labor pains started, trailing her like a duckling as she paced the house, timing them because she was impatient and couldn’t remember to do it, bringing her ice water, keeping his distance when she said she needed space, jumping to her side when she needed someone to lean on.

“I think Kai needs a new diaper,” she shared as Jungkook and the nurse reached her. She peeked in the back of the diaper to confirm because these early meconium poops were odorless and easy, but she’d sensed it in the way he had just curled and relaxed. She was right. Maybe some of this baby stuff would come back to her, more easily than she had feared. 

Jungkook stretched his arms out, cracking his knuckles, then beamed, “All right, let’s get diaper duty started, huh? We’re going to ease into this, right, Kai? Start me off with some non-threatening stuff, yeah?”

Jungkook’s gasps of horror at the tarry stools a moment later had Isabella suppressing the laughter, her body too sore for this kind of thing. 

God, every time she didn’t think she could possibly love Jungkook anymore than she already did, she found she could. 

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There are more Amended drabbles on my masterlist or read the main story here