#i’m sorry i’m a shitty friend

[nicollekidman]

season six spuffy is also nuts bc spike is clearly like. please just tell me i’m good and let me sit at your feet on the off chance you want to give me scraps and buffy WANTS to hold his leash (and yank on it) and she wants him to bite her hand so she has an excuse to hit him except. that sort of urge would upend the status quo (not just in their relationship but again, the bedrock the slayer/vampire dynamic is built upon) so instead spike has to play the corrupting influence to buffy’s reluctant and seduced white knight and it doesn’t fit either of them anymore!!!!!!!! spike says “you belong here in the shadows with me” but it sounds like “i accept you for all that you are and nothing in the dark could resist you” spike says “stop me” but it sounds like “tell me what you want” spike says “look at your friends and tell me you don’t like getting away with this” and it sounds like “isn’t this fun isn’t this worth Being Alive”

[felix-krain]

First time as killer on dbd experience

[spaghetticat3899]

When you absolutely despise something a lot of people like, and no matter what way you look at it you cannot see the appeal, but you know you can’t talk about it in public or else you’ll get dogpiled to hell and back, so you just kinda sit there frothing at the mouth like this

[kaidanalenkosprmanager]

Sophie Shepard & Dominik Shepard (ME2)

Ft. Cmdr. Kaidan Alenko & Zaeed Massani MIRA'S MORE CANON ME2 "We both did the best we could do underneath the same moon- in different galaxies..." AKA: The aftermath of Lair of the Shadow Broker. Recruiting the Not-Dossier: Apollo. Mass Effect 2: Legendary Edition (2021) + Bonus :)

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

The whole discourse about the privacy/secrecy/support thing has been sitting with me for a few days (I mean other than it always does to a certain degree) thanks to all the excellent discussion happening and I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said a million times before, but I think what we're seeing and what we're going to learn (e.g. from TTPD) is that it wasn't just the support issue, but how it was shown/handled.

We've all gone out of our way to show that introversion =/= lack of support. Someone can be shy, reserved, etc. and still show up for their partner, whether in public or at home. To chalk any of the differences up to the clash between introversion and extroversion is unfair to folks who count themselves among either tbh.

@thisisctrying said something the other day that hit the nail on the head about how if that support had been offered in private, there very well may not have been a Joever to begin with, or at least not at this point in time. (Sorry for loosely paraphrasing, and for namedropping you! Long time listener, first time poster.)

If this were a case where the "shy" partner said, "I am really uncomfortable with the spotlight personally and do not want to court it, but I will support you in your ambitions and offer you whatever you need to make them happen and make the glare bearable," I suspect that would have gone a long way to making Taylor feel seen and comfortable in pursuing her goals in the way that she now has. Again, that might have been more akin to the balance that seemed to have been struck around 2019 from what we can see, but even speaking in a general sense, there are lots of couples out there, celebrity or not, that have similar approaches where there are highly driven people and busy careers involved.

(A famous example being Dolly Parton's marriage. Tbh I know next to nothing about her and Carl, but she's always heralded as an example in this regard, because her husband is famously uncomfortable with the spotlight and hasn't accompanied her to public events in decades, but she's said that she never minded that because that was always work to her, and what was important was that he supported her in pursuing all her career goals and basically ensured she had a place to call home to return to at the end of the day.)

We're kind of in a brave new world with her current relationship because it felt like, at least at the start, we were maybe watching her figure out her boundaries in real time as to what she was comfortable with or not and adjust accordingly. Like so many have said, I fully believe the extreme privacy thing was initially driven by herself and her experiences in 2016, and she needed that quiet time to recover from all of the things and figure out how to exist in the world again.

Stating the obvious, it seemed like eventually privacy was equated with secrecy, turning the relationship and the celebrity into the elephant in the room and something to never be spoken of to the outside world. People are free to choose whatever works best for themselves and their relationships, and for some the separate public lives might work, but the “kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” theme is all over her work and it’s clear that it’s a sore spot for her, because she’s been made to feel shame just for the life she leads so many times in the past.

What I’m trying to say is that it’s pretty obvious something Not Great was happening behind the scenes, which didn’t just amount to “she wanted to be a public celebrity and he wanted to be a private hermit.” (Also, in case anyone forgot, this is a person who also chose a public-facing career who also has to engage in press for it, but I digress.) As her career reached new heights post-folklore, if she had the support at home to do all the things without judgment and with encouragement, and in turn offer the same support to her partner, she may have very well lived just fine with that, not unlike Dolly Parton’s case.

By reading between the lines in all the press since, as well as comments on tour and general ~vibes~ with TTPD teasers, it seems like one of the issues was that that was likely not the case. There was all the stuff that we saw — the reticence to acknowledge each other in the media (particularly on one side), the lack of public support even at events at which they were both in attendance for their respective jobs, the great lengths they went to not to be photographed together at events they attended yet no problem taking pictures with other friends and coworkers, the jobs that separated them, the withdrawing from the public even for work accomplishments, etc. Which could all be manageable if a couple chooses to do so together and are not inherently a sign of trouble in themselves.

But what we’re seeing now I think is a reflection of the things we weren’t seeing then, and it seems to indicate some very deep hurt. (I know, call me Captain Obvious.) And like so many have been saying, it feels likely that that part of that hurt is rooted in that very lack of private support where a person would expect it from their partner. Obviously as a Taylor fan blog I’m going to be more inclined to understand her side of a story, but tbh, it’s also because… this is sooooooo common, and something I’ve experienced in my friend group. (@taylortruther is right when she says most breakups are the same one way or another lol.)

One partner is resentful of the other’s success, or resentful that the other’s priorities begin to evolve as new experiences unlock new goals, or feels the other’s ambitions are not worthy of pursuit, and coupled with perhaps their own struggles in the same domain, it’s easy to see where that can chip away at the other partner’s morale and faith in the relationship. I know I’m just speculating here, but I also don’t think it’s totally unfounded. (Again, because a) I’m picking up what she’s putting down and b) it happens to sooooooo many women even among us dull normals.)

With all the pointed mentions about how much Taylor feels supported in her current relationship and how she in turn loves to offer the same show of support to not only her partner but other loved ones, how she’s stepped out more in the last year to a whole host of events, how she’s mentioned feeling like she locked herself away for years and she’s just proud of her partner and happy she can show up for him even if the chaos around it is unsettling, it paints a picture of what perhaps was happening before last year.

To feel like you’re all alone in carrying the weight of the relationship (or burden of it), of twisting yourself into knots to accommodate the other person’s boundaries (or insecurities) but not feeling reciprocity for your own has to be so painful. (The idea that it may have been even darker and to have a partner not only be unreceptive to your own needs but even perhaps resentful/dismissive/belittling of them is even more painful to think of. I guess we’ll find out when TTPD comes out if that was the case, too.)

At a certain point, that lack of acknowledgement will force your hand to be able to reclaim yourself. And it feels like the further removed Taylor in particular is from it, the more she moves from being sad about the life she felt she gave up by leaving, to angry at the life she felt she was giving up by staying. Especially being in a relationship now where it seems like everything comes much easier, where she can be open about the person she’s with and show up for them, all the stuff that seemed as challenging as climbing Mount Everest in her past is nothing more than a molehill at best in her current life.

TL;DR: I don’t think it’s privacy that inherently spells doom for a celebrity relationship like this; it’s the mutual support and respect that does. If Taylor had felt that in the later years of her previous relationship, I think we could be seeing a different, though not necessarily unfulfilled, person right now in 2024, who’d be happy on tour but whose personal life would look a little different. But it seems like by losing that support she lost parts of herself, and we’ve seen her reclaim that in spades in the last year, and perhaps to degrees she didn’t even realize she could from before all the Bad Stuff started happening in her young adulthood.

I know this was extremely long-winded and unnecessary, especially about total strangers we only know through scraps fed through the media, but I just always bristle at this idea that issues like these boil down to “personality differences,” as though one person wants to live in a city and the other on a remote island, or some shit like that. The whole support (and gender tbh) issue is one that’s just very close to my heart because again, I have seen it play out with so many of my friends in long term relationships and marriages and I just think people in relationships (and women in particular in some circles) deserve better than to feel like they’re being, well, tolerated.

[duck-noises]

i’m gonna piss myself 😭😭😭

[fatfemmefreaquency]

. probably gonna delete this later

[fucknugg3t]

sometimes you fuck up and people stay

[isame-allen]

Error seducing 😦

[polyamorouspunk]

Honestly I could use a pep talk. This week the positive/negative whiplash has been horrible

Grace my love you have been such a comforting presence in my and a lot of other people’s lives. I’m so, so sorry that things haven’t been going spectacular for you but as I’ve said to you, having someone who is going through a lot of the same things that I am makes me feel so much less alone. I really, really hope that we can find some consistency in it all. Today when I was driving home I was thinking of that cliche “if you could have any superpower what would it be” and I thought “I wish I could control my emotions”. And I thought… that’s not a superpower. That’s something “normal” people can do. But I feel like I can’t. But maybe more things are in my control than I realize. Sometimes I do think that I make excuses for myself. And that’s not to say that we as human beings can control everything in our lives. In fact, it’s what we CAN’T control that brings us stress. Like other people changing their minds about plans and shit 😅 but that’s what makes us dynamic. That’s what makes us human. So I guess, you know, I would be bored or whatever if everything was easy and my life is perfect. I mean, we all need a little drama, right? Like the harmless kind. Like when you go through the drive-through and they give you the wrong order. It’s humbling. It gives us something to complain about. Like, I didn’t fuck up badly to warrant an entire Netflix show about it. At least it’s not THAT bad yet. And I mean. We have all, everyone here, made it through the worse times of our lives already. And sure, there’s every chance the worst thing that’s ever going to happen to us hasn’t happened yet (especially those of us who haven’t reached 25 yet) but honestly as I look back I feel like everything that really sticks out as bad to me isn’t more or less worse than the thing before or after it. It’s just the most present, so it’s the one that hurts them most. I’m GLAD I’m not 16, 18, 20 anymore, even if I had things then I wish I had now and have pain now I didn’t have then. Sometimes the things I have to look forward to don’t feel like enough but what is the alternative? I just have to keep going. I can’t give up. We can’t give up. We have to keep fighting. I refuse to be the one that knocks me down.

[lululawrence]

Louis Tomlinson, 1 June 2023, FITFWT:NA - Cuyahoga Falls

KMM

Please do not repost/use without credit

[tacticaldivine]

This is Eros! I had started this during my first year in my game design course when I was big into Genshin for like two years. I don’t know if the 3D model I made is still accessible to me but I always have the art.

Their old Genshin lore was that they were an illuminated beast formerly associated with the Fatui. Betrays the Tsaritsa by stealing Delusions and is now hunted by said faction.

They wears their Vision/Delusion in their mask. They are also capable of transforming their appearance but their telltale giveaway is pink fur and an aura of hearts.

Their fur coat is supposed to be comprised of living foxes. Very similar to that one Elsa concept and Patricia Roland from Ace Attorney Investigations 2

They were intended to be really tall and have chosen Liyue as their hiding spot. Something about hiding in plain sight of the Fatui being entirely comical.

I didn’t get far enough into this to fully flesh out their character but they were supposed to be known by Xiao and Tartaglia.

I don’t fw Genshin since they doubled down on having nobody darker than a paper bag aka whatever tf came after the Inazuma update so I’m currently reworking her as a Kitsune for my VTM campaign that should be finally ready by the end of the year but who could know these things. Me. I could know these things.

This concept was just an exploration from an adopt I bought in 2021(?) I think. The original design for this character was by @/b0nebat on a @/aerifiretruck base. Which is pictured below

[flippedorbit]

i’m gonna be so for real, if things don’t start changing for me in good ways i will be disappearing off the face of the earth

[greylight32]

I’m making playlists for shit that I like, when I have shit to do and places to be tomorrow!!!! But I do not give a shiiiiittttttt

[ghirahims-left-shoe]

I wrote a whole post about how I’m reading this book about abuse to try and validate the abuse I went through in my last relationship but tumblr ate it and now I’m pissed in a different direction so the long short of it is this book is just describing my life for the 9 years of my last relationship, feeling crazy about thinking it’s abuse is part of the fuckin gameplan for this shit, and I’m pissed at my old friends for siding with that piece of shit after I told them he was abusive to me. So. Fuck em.

[josie-and-the-pussycats-2001]

full offence but all the people clamouring for reeve to quit hadestown are pissing me off so much, like y’all really care about actors huh, wanting an actor to quit their job in a highly competitive industry during a fucking ongoing SAG-AFTRA strike, like if y’all don’t understand how bad it is rn for a privileged cishet white actor like reeve then i can’t imagine any of y’all talking like this can extend any empathy towards actors in far worse positions then him rn showing your fucking asses fr