#i’m sorry i’ll repent later

[ratking222]

drawfee asks drawfee gets

[livelaughlovesubs]

Nini!! Guess who’s back from hibernation!! :D

Sorry it’s been a while since I’ve interacted on your page, I got busy with stuff :(

Anyways, incubus Fyodor and priest reader! (Yes, ik old request, wouldn’t be surprised if you don’t remember.) punishing Fyodor for becoming cocky bc you were not paying attention to him, he even went as far as threatening to go get fucked by someone else! (He was bluffing. He’s too addicted to your cock at that point) now he has to learn the consequences of his actions when he’s forced to cockwarm you with his mouth while you read the bible, not even sparing him a glance! You even made sure to chastise him so he wouldn’t try anything. Every time he tries even moving at bit, you grab his hair tightly and push in more of your dick, making his eye tear up as he grips onto your thighs desperately. By the time you finish Luke’s gospel, Fyodor is looking up at you pleadingly with drool dripping down his chin for you to finally use him. <3

- 🍮 ( ๑‾̀◡‾́)σ"

Incubus Fyodor 3

Dom!reader x sub!fyodor

Warning: I’ll use dick - interpret it however you want, blow job, cockwarming, hierophilia - (incorrect) religious aspects, hair pulling, choking/ gagging, dacryphilia

🍮 anon!!! I missed you and your fyodor requests! I love that little bastard hehe. Also nope, I did not forget, cuz I freaking loved those ideas.

Normally you were nice enough to satisfy his needs, he needed it to survive after all. But he was an incubus, his sex drive was way higher than what a normal human can handle. One of the reasons why incubi’s never settle down for only one partner. In your case, you forced him to stay here with you, as if he was your personal pet. To be honest, he was just your plaything after all. The pretext of cleansing him of his sins? A dirty thing like him can’t be redeemed, you didn’t believe in such things anyway. Rather, accepting and repenting for one’s sins, and that is something he has to want for himself. The most you could do was prevent him from being even more sinful. That alone would be of great help, since otherwise he would seduce other people and make them succumb to Asmodeus too.

Today you were busy reading when he came up to you. You knew what he wanted, but this time you ignored it, there were other things to take care of. At first he just stood there, staring at you, wondering why you were so carried away. He took a few glances at your book, it was the bible in the Old Testament. No wonder you seemed busy, that one’s difficult to understand. This wont stop him from desiring you though, so he kneeled down and crawled under your table, slowly settling down between your legs.

“Y/nnn~ I’m so hungry, can we please do it?” Fyodor asked, looking up at you with those pretty scarlet eyes. “Not now, maybe later.” That’s weird, normally you always agreed. “Can’t you read that damn book later?” “This is not a ‘damn’ book, I have to concentrate so be quiet please.” You answered him, eyes never leaving the paper in front of you, scanning one line after another. He pouted, furrowing his brows as he thought about what to do. “But I’m really hungry.” The incubi complained again, though to no avail. How stubborn you were. Fine, if that’s what you want. “Never mind, I’ll find someone else then.”

Fyodor turned his head around, about to get up to leave when he felt your hand on his head. Before he got the chance to question you about it, you yanked on his hair and made him arch his back. Now you were towering over him, pulling his head back by his raven black locks. “MhmMM-ahHHNHgG..?!” He moaned out, unable to bite back a smirk. “I wont allow you to defile other innocent souls.” You told him harshly, without an ounce of concern. The gaze you bore was cold, and he felt a shiver run down his spine. It wasn’t due to fear though. His face was red, eyes foggy and expression melting, no matter what you’d do to him he’d take it with no hesitation.

“Haaah…” you sighed, feeling a little annoyed with him, then you commanded, “Go to the drawer there on the left and bring me the box in there.” He looked at you with confusion, but did it anyway. Getting up to get the box you wanted, then returning to his previous position. The demon watched with curiosity as you opened it. There were many sex toys in it, most of them have been used on him already. You reached for the things you needed, afterwards you put the rest away. Fyodor was still kneeling between your legs while you prepared everything, his body filled up with anticipation. He knows exactly what those toys do, god he wanted you to abuse him with them.

First thing you did was take the cockring and bring it to the base of his cock, it was to keep him obedient. You can’t have him squirting around his filthy essence. He squirmed when you grabbed him by the shaft as you used it on him, it looked so romantic~ That was all it took to get him hard. Then you pulled on his hair again, making him face your abdomen and dick. “Keep it in your mouth, you can’t move until I’m done, understood?” Instead of making him cockwarm you with his hole, you wanted him to use his mouth. It’s because he talks too much, you couldn’t think when he keeps babbling nonsense.

Just as you guessed, he happily took all of you inside his throat, gagging a little at the length. Forget about talking, he can barely breath with how deep it was in his throat. A bulge could be seen on his neck, right there where his Adam’s apple is. “Good boy.” You said, now stroking his head gently, as if he was really your pet. How he loved it, chocking on your dick like this, tears were on the verge of spilling. The reason why your fingers were still tangled with his locks was to prevent him from moving, since this was a punishment. That’s why every time he bobbed his head, intentionally or not, you’d force his face down further, until his nose hit your pelvis. Poor boy gagged and choked so prettily whenever you’d die that, letting out sweet moans akin to an angels singing,“guUHH..! Uh-hm,,.mHMmnGH..”

At first he was pretty enthusiastic about it, after ten minutes he got bored and needy. This only continued to the point he started crying. He was so desperate for any friction he could get, since he couldn’t even touch himself. Well, he could, but it’s not like he can cum anyways. Drool was running down his chin while tears rolled down his cheeks, leaving behind a shiny trail. His hands were bawled into fists while his tail wagged around like crazy. The look he had in his eyes were so hot, looking up at you all submissive while his pupils turned into hearts. Internally, fyodor was begging for you to finally pay attention to him, or finish reading that book soon. He didn’t know how much longer he could hold out.

This was pure torture, was what he thought after not 30 minutes, but an entire hour passed. His head felt light, and his body twitched everywhere. Just a single touch from you would cause him to yelp that’s how sensitive he became. Quiet sobs could be heard from him while melting expression plagued his features. You weren’t exactly done yet with your reading, but seeing how pitiful he looked, you just had to help him. Putting the bible aside and caressing his ruined face, “you’ve been pretty good for the past hour, want to have your meal now?” As soon as he heard that he started choking on it again, the surprise and excitement caused him to inhale too fast. Only difference was, this time you let him pull his head back. “AhHh..! Cough- uh-urGHh..ahh, ye-yes!! I want it, p- guUHH.. pleaseee..” Suddenly he started sobbing intensely again, he also stuck his tongue out after pleading with you so obediently. Right, such a good boy, it is time for him to get his blessing.

[hyuckswoman]

y/n’s priv

last chapter masterlist mark’s priv

notes: SHE’S NOT DEAD!!!! i’m sorry i suddenly dipped it’s just the chapter wasn’t ready and i felt too guilty to come back and answer asks if i didn’t have actual content for you guys to look at… it’s also been two scarily hectic weeks hopefully you guys don’t hate me for disappearing for two weeks… i’m sawrry ☹️😔 just like mark i shall forever repent for the sins i have committed…

i shall also make a second bonus chapter for mark’s priv… also i might or might not have another smau in the works…. i’ll tell u guys later abt it tho when everything is more sure so u can decide whether u want it or not..

this is so nerve racking to post tho… i hope you guys enjoy the bonus chap!! i couldn’t possibly in good conscience leave u guys without it soooo here it isss

taglist: @imsiriuslyreal @iscocohere @simpforarmihn @replayenthusiast @lovm4rk @youreintheclubb @polarisjisung @sour-chaos @jising-jisang-jisung @aerivrs @multifandomania @tiddygang2020 @roseangelxfuma @skepvids @morkiee @yangasm @artstaeh @pussyslayerhd @bacons-thighs @bugcattie @leefullsun @jkslvsnella @alethea-moon @marvelahsobx @haechansbbg @katsukis1wife @m1dn1ghtv1olet @winuvs @n0hyuck @whats-my-question @dojaejunging @hibernatinghamster @user7520 @starwonb1n @lostinneocity @miniature-tragedy @llearlert @haezyhyuck @inosfavgf @bluesinfinities @calumsfringe @cigarettesafterjae @defzcl @delfdiary @minkyuncutie @bunnyjaycheoluwu @sofix-hc7 @nosungluv @anonymousmuffinbear @the-swageyama-tobiyolo @amrqxz @luvtyunn @haenahc @slayhaechan @yutterfly @tywritesstuff

[lagomoz]

Everyone so far seems to be theorizing Amane’s victim as her dad, her mom, or an unnamed child also in the cult. I’ve got my own theory - it was Gozake.

That’s Gozake, from Magic. The blue guy. He’s one of the four main figureheads of the cult, and possibly a music teacher of some kind to Amane, conducting her to sing in Magic. The very first shot of The Purge March is Amane playing the drums.

The mindscape Amane’s wield flags representing the four cult leaders (teachers? elders? propaganda peddlers? high up members? whatever, important cult people), but Gozake’s flag in particular is given special attention. 

Same color scheme, same three dots over a narrow rectangle like design, same ear thingy to the side, same orb-like design features - that’s Gozake. Before we see it flying though, we see it crumpled up on the floor by Amane’s feet, something not true for any other flag.

We then see an Amane messing up her flag routine, dropping Gozake’s flag in particular and falling over. The other Amane looms over her, preparing to punish her for a failure related to Gozake. Once the punishment starts, rain pours down.

Then, the punished Amane begins to drown. You can even see the flag while she’s sinking.

She drowns further, and we get another shot of just the flag, lying on the ground, and then the drowning Amane reaching up towards it. She’s reaching toward Gozake, the one responsible for drowning her.

And he is the one drowning her. We see it directly in Magic.

It cuts to the real world, with Amane actually being drowned, and her placed below the one drowning her like she is placed below the flag. 

Take note of the framing, with one hand stretching from out of frame.

I can’t find a better picture for her undercover card, but her location shows a bathroom. Undercover also has a shot of a victim lying on a blue tiled floor (we can’t see the floor, but the shower in Purge March has blue and green wall tiles) with water coming down. Blue and water are representations of Gozake (Amane’s character color is aqua), and it’s framed as a single hand stretching out while the rest is (mostly) obscured, and takes place in the bathroom (or at least a bathroom) that Amane was drowned by Gozake in.

Throughout the MV, there’s a lot of blue, too. Amane’s school uniform is blue, the cloth she heals the cat with is blue (the cloth later becomes bloody, another thing representing Gozake being damaged), the sky and general background and lighting is blue. Symbols of Gozake are present everywhere in the MV.

The suit man with the briefcase could be Gozake, I’m not sure. Gozake would fit the profile - a cult member, adult male, disapproving of medicine, willing to put Amane in harm’s way - but I don’t have further evidence.

Before Amane goes all in on the cult’s doctrine, she has an umbrella, but it’s unopened. The baton she uses to kill and to represent her as fully converted and the opening umbrella are overlayed. 

The lyrics show her motivation for the murder, as both a means of protection and revenge. She’s been horrifically abused for years, and has taken on the role of the punisher to avoid being the punished.

“It’s my turn to tear you apart / So there is no second time, I’ll give back the judgment that you gave to me /  It’s now your turn to say that hopeless “I’m sorry” /  You’re sorry? I don’t care! / Please, go ahead and die already / Remember MY cries, MY repents, MY words of “I’m sorry” that I said to you?”

Beyond showing a lot of resentment and disdain for the one she’s speaking to - her victim - the phrasing clearly shows that she’s not just punishing a sinner, she’s turning the tables. She’s returning the favor to someone who’s been violent to her in the past.

The umbrella is symbolically her murder weapon and what she uses to punish others, but also literally and obviously a tool to protect from the rain. What she uses to kill is what protects her from Gozake. She can’t take the abuse anymore and tries to become the cult sanctioned violent avenger that’s hurt her so many times. She can’t be the victim if she’s the perpetrator.

The final shot has her over the corpse, having tracked in water from the rain. The puddles lead right to it and the framing is the same as both the Undercover victim and the one drowning her - a single hand, reaching from out of frame.

Amane killed Gozake.

[casteliacityramen]

[Previous] [PART 2 OF 2]

“I flew around a bit." 

"I overheard some talks about an open gala in Sinnoh and I decided to attend it. I’ll tell you the whole story about what happened later, but...

... Even when I was trying to relax, I couldn't feel comfortable with myself. Like… like wearing clothes that didn’t fit. The longer the night went on, nothing felt right. And I’m not just talking about the disguise.”

“You felt like a caricature of who you used to be.”

“Yeah. I knew I was going to feel awful when the Continental War was done and over with. I knew we were going to be reprimanded, or worse, but…” Rio frowns deeply, trying to gather her tangled thoughts together.

“I didn't think it'd mess me up as bad as this. I didn’t recognize who I was by the end of the night. I’m worried there’s no going back to who I used to be. I miss the version of myself who could go to a gala and not be miserable in the corner. It feels like that part of me died--that optimistic part of me."

“Do you get what I’m talking about?”

Rio waits with bated breath, only for Ray to curtly answer:

"Yes. And no?"

Rio feels her temper quickly flare up as she lets out a frustrated huff, "Whaddya mean by that?"

Ray raises his palms towards her, slowly.

"It's not that I don't understand what you're saying,” Ray turns to her and gives her a faint smile, "I like to think my experiences are changing me for the better. That’s where you and I differ."

“What, that you’re becoming less of who you used to be and more of… whatever this is?”

"A sub-par noodle penchant?" Ray laughed, throwing Rio's words right back at her from earlier that day.

"You know what I mean, Ray," Rio feels her face get hot. "It's as if..."

"... It's as if you're undoing yourself to make up for what you've done," Rio whispers out loud. The sudden conclusion steals her breath. "Ray, you're not doing all this to punish yourself, are you?"

"..."

"Please say no.”

"It may have started out that way, but that's not the case now."

“Ray…” Rio whispered in disbelief, out loud. 

“You may see this as me continuing a dead man’s legacy. But it’s more than that. This place was a gifted to me and came with a wish. I intend to honor that gesture. Even though we can’t do any of our usual duties, that’s no excuse to stop acting like a shepherd.”

“If your version of helping the commonwealth is to further seat yourself into guilt, I can’t let you follow through with this.”

“You’re still not getting it, It’s not like that."

"Are you sure about that? Because it's all starting to sound like you're doing this as some sort of messed up way of repenting for your sins."

"I'm telling you, it's not like that."

“Ray, there's a moment when living for the memory of someone else turns into hurting yourself." 

"Like how you visited your own gravestone in Johto? Do you really see all of your soldiers offering gifts in your memory and call that self harm? Didn't you just say that you're grieving over someone who you used to be? Is it really that wrong? To cling to what's left!?"

"For me, it is."

"We aren't mortal, Ray. This entire conversation we're having? This argument? All of it? This is what happens when we can't move on. We drag everything with us for hundreds, maybe thousands of years whether we like it or not. This is only going to bring you pain in the long run.

I’m sorry I blew up at you earlier today, but I still stand by what I said. You have no right to continue Tai Ishikawa's legacy, even if all of this was a gift.

All of this? Hanging around Ingram's descendants, Ayumi and Jack? Working an ungodly amount of hours for a tiny bit of yen? The past guilt alone will eat you alive."

"I'm aware of what happens to me if I stew in it. I've been here five years longer than you have,” Ray mutters. “Besides, do you think that I don't know how to live with all the pain I've gathered? Do you really think that guilt alone has made me stick it out this far?”

Of course not. But... she can't simply admit that.

She’s seen him on good days, bad days, and worse days. She's seen him scraping by with little money to his name but continuing to honestly run the business with a straight back and taut shoulders.

She shakes her head, unsure of herself. After all, she's borrowing words that Ray used to tell her in the past. She's not used to being on this side of the argument, which begs the question: are they destined to swap places again somewhere, sometime down the future?

"I've seen what guilt does to you, Ray. I sure as shit know what it's doing to me," Rio shakes her head, sighing. "I don't think this is only guilt... But there's more of it than I want to see. I don't need any more reasons to lose sleep at night if I can keep you from hurting yourself."

“Then…

... Are you willing to stop me? Stop all of this if I fly past that line?"

"You're already dangerously close. Some would say that you're already past the line of hurting yourself."

"I'm not."

Rio was hoping for any sense of weakness, any stumble over words, fumble in his convictions, but Ray continued to stare at her. Rio was the first to look away.

"All of this… It helped you?”

"It has. I’d love to have you here."

"Okay."

--

The two sit in comfortable silence. As the sun fades, so too, does the tension between them. With no further words to be exchanged, the rest of the decanter behind the counter is emptied out.

Ray makes a disgusted face with every sip. One of the unfortunate effects of their blessings is the rapid processing of whatever toxins enter their body, like alcohol. If they wanted to get remotely buzzed, they had to drink the stuff that was barely safe for consumption.

Which reminds her...

“I thought I’d get you this as a peace offering.”

“What is this?”

“Got it from the gala I talked about earlier. Wine from out of this dimension. Just like the guests."

“What?”

“Later. But guess what? I actually got drunk.”

“Bullshit. Why'd you make me drink the rest of that decanter? Pour me some.”

“You’re the one with the hands, you pour us some.”

Before Ray could reach behind the counter to grab the glasses once more, they are interrupted by the sound of a squeaky stool and a pained, muffled grunt at the end of the stand.

Jack sits in the seat farthest from them, his eyes never meeting theirs. His mouth opens, but it takes a long time for him to slowly form the words. He shrinks as he whispers:

“I don’t know where else to go.”

It's about time they get ready to open back up, anyway.

[Pinned Post]

[popopretty]

[Translation] Bungou Stray Dogs Projection Mapping (in collaboration with Kadokawa Culture Museum)

This is a projection mapping displayed on a huge bookshelf inside the Kadokawa Culture Museum. The projection lasts for about 5 minutes, with a short conversation between Dazai and Atsushi, of which the script was written by Asagiri Kafka specially for this collaboration. Videos and recordings are not allowed inside so I can only share some photos and the translation of the scripts here. Please note that it is based on what I heard and remembered so there might be some mistakes. Also the collaboration started from August 2022 so it might or might not relate to the recent events in the manga, it’s all up to your interpretation.

TRANSLATION AND IMAGES UNDER THE CUT

The projection starts with Atsushi climbing up the bookshelf and falling off it.

Atsushi: Oh no. I have to put them back!

Dazai: Huh? Are you sure it is here? The book that has an impact on Atsushi-kun?

Atsushi: Dazai-san? Yeah, I’m sure it’s a book from this shelf but… I can’t find it now.

Dazai: Without that book, we might not have won that battle against the enemies, right?

Atsushi: Yeah…

“In days gone by I never repented of my acts. I was sorry only for what I didn’t do.” Had it not been for the words from that book, I might have not been able to make the right decision. What is it called again…? I can only remember the title was like, something written by someone…

Dazai: Pft… In other words, you don’t remember anything.

Atsushi: Sorry… You came all the way here with me yet…

Dazai: Nah, if you cannot remember, maybe now’s not the right time to remember it. Books sometimes behave as if they are testing us, that’s why.

Atsushi: Testing us?

Dazai: Have you never experienced that? You happened to come accross a book you didn’t know nor have any interest in. Then you picked it up and what’s written in it stayed unforgotten in your heart till years later. That kind of experience.

Atsushi: Dazai-san, do you read too?

Dazai: Huh? You thought I didn’t? Without reading, there is no intellect. It’s the daily consumption of foods that makes our bodies. But it is the letters and words that builds our souls. When you stand here, you will understand what it means. Look around you.

Atsushi: You’re right. There is something very…

Dazai: Yes, remember this well. Books, at times, behave like intelligent life forms, beyond a mass of paper and ink… If Atsushi-kun hadn’t read that book, we would not have won that battle. We must not take books lightly. Because there are some switches that can only be pressed through reading a book, quietly hidden in the darkness we think we are in.

Atsushi: Ah, I see. That book I read… it would be exaggerating to call it a fated encounter, but I feel like there is an important meaning to it.

Dazai: That’s what I thought. Atsushi-kun, maybe there is a reason you have a special role in there as well.

Atsushi: What kind of reason?

Dazai: It will reveal itself sooner or later... Well, now that I have achieved my goal of showing off as a senior in front of my junior, guess I’ll go back and sleep (yawning)

Atsushi: You didn’t come here to help me search for the book at all, did you…

The projection ends with Trash Candy playing on the background and a very cool presentation of the characters' skills. It is such a shame that I can't share a full videos with everyone, but live photo is a lifesaver this time.

One last thing, even though the BSD collaboration will officially end today, the museum also does regular projection mapping on the same bookshelf and it is just equally cool so if you ever have chance to visit this museum, please give it a try. You will find a lot of BSD goods and related stuff around this area too <3

Thanks for reading till the end :3

[paraliveimaginesblog]

Duality [Yuto Inukai] [NSFW]

You didn’t know at first that you were tempting fate.

Your frustrations from that day were coming out on Yuto, attacking him despite his attempts to soothe you. It was an entirely unfair situation but the way he tried to smooth things over made you even more upset. He should be cursing back and telling you that he doesn’t deserve to be treated that way! Why was he so damn understanding?! How could you even be mad and faulting him for that? You were so fucking frustrated you just wanted to scream, and you could tell you were setting Yuto on edge.

“Yu-Yuto…!”

You let out a gasp as your face is pushed down hard into the pillow in front of you, so quick you’re seeing stars. The action was clear, don’t raise your head up again, but you tried to subtly look behind you at the man who was fucking you so hard you could feel the soreness already. Blood-red eyes meet yours and you let out a squeal as your ass is slapped hard, Hancho’s fingers digging into your hip as his pace grew even more relentless.

You had already been denied orgasm countless times, fucked from your couch to your bedroom until you could barely walk. That didn’t matter to him, this was your punishment which meant you didn’t get a say. You weren’t complaining exactly, not resisting the rough sex you knew you’d deserve. The gentle sex, the loving, romantic sex, that was all for your sweet Yuto. The side of you that wanted to be bruised and bitten, that was where Hancho truly shined.

You can feel the imprint of his teeth marks in your shoulder but your entire body is an overload of sensations, so you’re sure there’s more bites you’ll find later. Your hips are sore from his tight grip but he refused to lighten up, not when you had to repent for how you treated Yuto. You had whined out your apology, begged him to forgive you, but he refused to accept your weak cries.

“You think twice before arguing next time, won’t you?” Hancho hissed out, pulling you back up by your hair; it felt good and he knew it did, probably the only reason he had brought you up the way. The other thing you never did with Hancho was kiss but you’re tempted now as he pulled you into a more upright position, strong arms wrapped around you.

“I want my Yuto back, to apologize…” You panted, licking your lips. He stared at you hard before pushing you back down on the bed, hand running along your back and pressing gently against your spine; he had you completely splayed out on the bed, legs spread as wide as they could go as your stomach hit the blankets. You feel him come, the wetness between your legs leaking out.

You’re tired, exhausted actually, eyes sliding shut for a few brief moments until you feel a sudden weight flop beside you on the bed. You’re too tired to see if it’s your boyfriend or your punisher but you wait, and wait, and wait, until finally you’re woken up by gentle kisses to your temple.

“Hey there… did I…” Yuto seemed a little hesitant to ask but you were relieved to see him back; you tried to keep the grimace off your face as you turned over to face him, arms opened to show you wanted his affection. His eyes lit up at that, happy that the fight was over, likely having no idea what kind of lesson you were just taught.

“I’m sorry, Yuto, I didn’t mean to take my anger out on you.” You brushed some of his hair from his face, caressing the soft cheeks you loved to kiss so much. “You didn’t deserve it.”

“A-ah… I know you didn’t mean it and you were just upset… still, it did make me sad too…”

“I’m sorry. What can I do to make it up to you?”

“No-nothing! Fights happen with couples, right? It’s not problem…”

“I’ll make you some breakfast tomorrow before work then.” You were slow with your movements, nose brushing against his briefly before you leaned in closer to press your lips against his; they moved in unison, a warm, passionate kiss shared between two people who loved each other dearly.

“…I would like that, thank you.”

Now, all you had to do was actually be able to walk tomorrow.

[courtneygacha]

My Precious Pt.2

@whumpdreamz , here’s part two! Thank you for being so kind <333

Part 1

Tw: Carewhumper, burns, mention of bruises, mention of collar, gentle Whumper, pet Whumpee

Whumpee woke up later. They had been laid in front of a fireplace and wrapped in a blanket. Their bruises had been tended to.

It took Whumpee a moment to remember things. And they did; they remembered that they had willingly turned themselves in to Whumper and were now at their mercy.

Whumpee suddenly sprang up from the blanket. They thought that maybe if they repented for leaving, they wouldn’t face a cruel punishment.

They suddenly slipped on the wooden floor and crashed into a side table. A hot mug was sitting there, and it got knocked down and splashed all over the floor and Whumpee. They screamed, both in pain and in fear for what Whumper would do when they saw what they’d done.

Speaking of the devil, Whumpee hear footsteps. They wrapped their burns in the blanket and cried.

The door opened and Whumpee stepped into the room. “God, you’re a clumsy one.” They said.

Whumpee sobbed, “I-I’m sorry, M-Master! I wasn’t l-looking where I w-was going!” Their hot tears stinging their burning arms. “P-Please don’t-“

Whumper strode over to them and knelt down at their side. They snatched their burning arms from underneath the blanket. Whumpee squealed and tried to pull away.

“Stop moving, it’ll make things worse.” Whumper said.

Whumpee didn’t listen and continued to squirm, but Whumper squeezed their wrist pretty tight and they stopped moving.

“I-I-I’m sorry M-Master…” Whumpee quivered.

“How are your bruises? Are they healing nicely?” Whumper asked, gently stroking their face.

Whumpee sat as still as they possibly could’ve as Whumper’s hand caressed their face slowly. Whumpee was waiting for them to smack them, grab their face and yank it, or even claw them with their nails, but they didn’t. What was happening? Was this real? Why was Whumper being so… gentle?

“Don’t look alarmed, my precious Whumpee…” they said, seeing Whumpee’s fearful eyes.

“M-Master? Why are you n-not hurting me?” They asked.

“People can change, darling… and besides, I have a new ‘pet’ to play with…” Whumper rubbed soft circles into Whumpee’s cheeks. They didn’t like the way Whumper put that, but decided not to question it if it meant not getting beaten senseless again.

“I’ll be back soon with some bandages for your burns… and you’ll still wear the collar for me?” Whumper held Whumpee’s chin. “You know how much I love the look on you…”

They rose from the floor. “Get some rest, my precious. You deserve it~”

Whumpee just stared blankly as they left the room, and heard the click of the look behind them. They were speechless. Didn’t know what to do.

They simply followed orders and went back to sleep.

Taglist: @whumpy-whump-fanfics @bookbutterfly9 @whatwhumpcomments @diamond-flavored-whump @whumpdreamz

[tommy-288]

Y’all I’m sorry I’ll repent later-

[clockwork-sparrow]

Tales from the Frost

Stories following the conclusion of the RP Arc, TOWER.

Stories: 1 2 [3] 4

Dear Zelimir

Dear Zelimir,

We’re coming. Sorry it took almost three decades. Life’s stranger than fiction nowadays and there’s a lot for us to catch up on. Like how I ended up traveling with your murderer to find your resting place, for starters.

Civil war burned Garlemald to cinders, but we survived. Something incomprehensible possessed the world and turned the sky red, but we survived that, too. You always said I was tenacious, but I don’t think you meant it’d be enough to weather two apocalypses.

Somewhere in the middle, we (the Tappers. Sofi misses you too, you know) stumbled on a weird town of magitek, complete with a freaky Overseer, robot farmers, and who knows what else. Was just us at first. Bunch of Garleans joined later. Some of them were the sorriest looking bastards I’d ever seen but some of them were just bastards, so much so that they tried to reestablish Garlemald, shackles and all.

Zelimir, I think you’d be proud to hear that we’re living side by side with many of these bastards now. You shouldn’t be, though. If the Final Days didn’t happen, we’d still be at each other's throats, but we (all of us) lived through some very horrific things. Didn’t know if the next day would be our last, didn’t have the spoons to care about fucking beans when literal depression monsters were hunting us down. Stranger than fiction, again.

I knew Marcellus killed you. I thought about it every day. I thought about it when I led our ragtag band of soldiers to defend our freaky magitek home against even freakier blasphemies, and I threw him into less than favorable fights because of it. You know me. I would’ve killed all the bastards if I had the chance, but...things happened. Hands were tied at the time. I’m bitter about you though, so I had hoped, and figured if he died in combat, well. That’s just war. But being in the trenches changes a man so, yes. He killed you, but he saved me too. Saved Sofi. We saved each other so that we could live another day like cockroaches. That was our new normal, insanity and violence and all.

The Final Days eventually ended, after more wars, more kidnappings, and more shit that flew straight over my head. Giant...spaceship at one point. Man. I don’t even know. Sometimes I want to believe it was all collective madness, but then, I’ll wake up and the signs will still be there. I half expect the skies to turn red again honestly. Peace feels like it could be taken away at any second.

Anyway, Marcellus confessed. Almost three decades later, when there’s practically nothing left of you except for memories, he confessed. Said you didn’t crack and reveal any of the other members of the underground. I hated hearing about it but it’s closure, still. And your body is long rotten and lost, your records wiped and destroyed, but we’re coming anyway, to the place you passed away. So I can say goodbye and Marcellus can...apologize.

You shouldn’t forgive him. He’s an ass. Terrible pokerface, awful taste in beer, his mustache sucks. Thinnest hair I’ve seen on a lip. I haven’t forgiven him and neither should you, but he’s trying, and he needs to live with this. No amount of justice will bring you back, so I guess I’m settling for second best.

These days, I’m restless wondering if this is enough. If this peace is enough, if evil got punished enough, if they’re repentant enough, if I’ll ever be satisfied. There are holes in me where you fit. Where all the good Tappers who died under the Empire fit. Is it fair that your murderer lives? Is it fair that he has a second chance? I don’t think so, but now, he’s a part of me too. There’s a hole where Marcellus would leave, too, and the trenches change a man. They leave you riddled with bullet holes.

I know you had hopes for me and I’ve always tried to live up to them but, Zelimir, maybe the reason I lived and you didn’t is because I’m not good. I want people to suffer as I have. I would’ve executed someone I now care about and been none the wiser. My pain, our pain. It’ll be forgotten one day...maybe recorded in words, but the distance will grow. One day, there won’t be anyone left that knows you personally. Is this a good thing? Is this just the way life is? That we live, just to be forgotten?

I don’t know. Maybe you can tell me.

Sincerely,

Vanya Kvetasch

[slrsunfire]

Here's a little snippet for the upcoming chapter of The Springtime of Lovers! Having a lot of fun with this...I promise that it's not going to be as bad for Tobirama as this little blurb makes it seem ❤️

This is not formally edited, so please be merciful.

Warnings: sexist/genderist ideals, allusions to future forced intimacy, a/b/o dynamics, discussions of pregnancy

Snippet Below:

“Came out to enjoy the leaves while you read?” Hashirama lightly asks, trying for nonchalant but failing spectacularly in his efforts. 

“As a matter of fact, I did,” Tobirama tersely states in return, his words edging on biting. “Someone needs to look over the talking points the Uchiha have requested we address during our meeting next week and it might as well be me.” 

Hashirama has enough common sense to pick up on his ire over the fact it is Tobirama, and not Hashirama, that has chosen to do so. His older brother nervously clears his throat in response, clearly taking care with his choice of words, and Tobirama has to restrain the impolite urge to grind his teeth in frustration. 

“Ah…” Hashirama nervously laughs a little. “I forgot I need to look those over.”

His brother at least has the decency to sound suitably embarrassed by his lapse, but it is paltry compensation for Tobirama’s ongoing troubles. 

“Anija—” Tobirama starts and then trails off in favor of tilting his eyes heavenward, exasperated by his brother’s distracted state. He understands it to an extent, but as an alpha and the leader of their clan, Hashirama needs to do better. Tobirama will not be around to keep Hashirama on track any longer in just a year’s time, and his brother needs to be prepared. At the very least, Mito-san seems to be a competent shinobi in her own right and is likely to act as a more than capable advisor for Hashirama in Tobirama’s stead once she finally departs from Uzushio to wed his brother two months hence.

Despite his irritation he finds himself relaxing ever so slightly as his alpha brother’s pine scent begins to naturally fill the air around them, and he glances askance when Hashirama releases a soft but guttural sound of true remorse. 

“I’m sorry, Tobirama,” Hashirama apologizes, looking suitably repentant. “I’ll look them over once you’re done, I promise.” 

“That one is already finished.” Tobriama quickly gestures to the scroll farthest from him. “I’ve left comments, so you can see if you have any yourself to add.” He is gratified to watch Hashirama reach for it almost immediately, though he can tell his brother is disquieted by its contents when the alpha’s brown eyes flicker over the scroll’s telling title and Hashirama’s fingers tighten around it ever so slightly.

Tobirama had experienced similar trouble reading through it as well. The scroll is one of two the Uchiha had sent regarding their proposed conditions regarding Tobirama’s eventual role within the clan, particularly his duties to the main house and the allowances he would be given. 

His older brother releases a low, gusty sigh a moment later that only heightens Tobirama’s unease with how markedly restrained it is. “Thank you, Tobirama. Are the terms fair?”

The question makes Tobirama immediately still in surprise. He genuinely does not know what to say, he realizes. 

He does not think it fair in the slightest that he is expected to honor a contract that by all rights should have been invalidated the very moment the Uchiha and Senju broke faith with one another following its drafting. There are strict terms that have been suggested, most of which Tobirama suspects are elements put forth by the Uchiha elders who hold no love for him. None of it is exactly unexpected, nor unwarranted considering the history their two clans share. Until no longer deemed necessary, the Uchiha want him followed from sunrise to sunset if he decides to depart from the main house at any point in time. To add insult to injury, all of his correspondence to the Senju or other outside parties is to be reviewed first by Madara, or in his husband’s stead, Izuna. If his rival is not available to do so, then the responsibility will fall to one of the elders. None of these options is particularly palatable to him considering how private an individual he naturally is. And as for his marital duties…

“I suppose,” Tobirama reluctantly concedes, trying not to sound too bitter. “They intend to provide me with my own rooms. But I am to decorate and outfit them with whatever finery my eventual trousseau contains. The Uchiha also request that my dowry consists of additional cloth bolts or coinage to cover future clothing purchases in addition to whatever pre-made clothing I bring. I am, unsurprisingly, to furnish suitable sets of quality maki-e tableware, among other frivolous items for entertaining and the like.” 

Hashirama nods, losing a bit of the tension that had lined his shoulders. “That all sounds rather run of the mill. Well, aside from the coinage aspect. Madara really should be the one tending to your future clothing. We will argue against that, I think. But you know I will make sure your trousseau is well outfitted and you want for nothing, little brother.” 

“I know Anija,” Tobirama murmurs, secretly touched by the alpha’s determination to look after him despite Tobirama’s own continuing protestations that he does not need much. His brother’s tender words are still not quite enough to keep his lips from pursing ever so slightly in frustration as he considers the more humiliating conditions that have been proposed for his person. “Except—” 

Hashirama’s gaze is unnaturally serious as he cocks a brow at him, the alpha clearly picking up on his unease. “Yes?” 

“They are demanding I provide Madara with no less than six children—more if any of the pups die in their infancy,” Tobirama admits, forcing his voice to remain even, though he knows his eyes have narrowed in such a fashion that his agitation will be made clear to his brother all the same. “They want me to carry one child a year until the quota is met, barring illness or other mitigating circumstances.” 

He knows it’s meant to keep him on his back long enough that his sharp edges might dull some. As long as Tobirama is kept gravid and barefoot within Madara’s home, he is far from being a full threat to the Uchiha. Perhaps they believe it will also serve as a means of humiliation, which is not entirely untrue. Though the Uchiha and Senju are like most shinobi clans in that they allow omega members to fight on the field and hold certain positions of power, they are not entirely devoid of genderist discrimination. Omega shinobi are still seen as being weaker and expected to act properly deferential to alpha clanmates who naturally hold more sway by nature of their secondary designation. As an outclan omega, Tobirama suspects he will be seen as lesser than the Uchiha’s own omega members, even though in title he will hold the respected position as clan matriarch and Madara’s wife. 

[aeoki]

Atlantis - Underwater: Chapter 4

Location: Okinawa Restaurant Characters: Touri, Yuzuru & Wataru Season: Winter

TL Note:

This is an Okinawan sweet deep-fried bun similar to a doughnut.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ< A few hours later. A new Okinawa restaurant located in the ES neighbourhood. >

Wataru: I see! So that’s what you talked about while I was away!

Thank goodness it was a topic I have no interest in!

It makes me sad to be left out of the loop, but I wouldn’t have to feel that way if it’s a topic I’m uninterested in!

Touri: You should take an interest in it – it’s something important.

Wataru: I don’t particularly care what becomes of ES. To take it a step further, I’d say I don’t care what becomes of the idol industry!

What I deem important are the stories spun by those I have an interest in and those who fascinate me. That is where my interest lies.

Eichi has a habit of excessively talking about those sorts of topics, so I thought it would be best if I gained the necessary political and economic knowledge to understand the things he says.

Touri: That’s like what a sports fan would say if it’s a sport they’re not interested in.

Wataru: A fitting expression! Amazing! ☆

Oh, I shall order this soumen – the fine white noodle dish.

Phew, today’s performance was rather rigorous and I’m exhausted. It seems I only have the stomach for something easily digestible.

Touri: You’re talking like a human being for a change, Hibiki-senpai.

Yuzuru: Indeed. It’s also rare for you to eat with us.

Wataru: Hehehe. I figured I should keep up to date with the things you’ve discussed.

Deepening our bonds over a meal as fellow members of the same unit once in a while is rather nice, isn’t it?

Touri: Eichi-sama had to leave earlier since he had something work-related at his parent’s home, though.

Yuzuru: It appears Eichi-sama had made the wrong choice. He must have felt the need to choose a replacement for the young master in great haste.

Touri: Uuu… Isn’t that too fast? I still haven’t given him a proper answer yet.

Wataru: What do you mean?

Touri: To tell the truth, it seems Eichi-sama wants to let me manage one of the branch offices related to “Project-ATLANTIS”.

He said he needed someone like a boss there and that he wanted it to be someone skilled and trustworthy.

Wataru: I see, I see? By appointing someone who will be his arms and legs to manage the branch office, Eichi’s ideas will reach every corner of the country…

Yuzuru: That’s right. It seems that’s the reason why he selected the Young Master.

Wataru: A boss at one of ES’ branches, huh. That’s a very surprising choice for someone so young.

Why did you turn him down, Himegimi?

Touri: I–I didn’t! But I was lacking sleep and in a pathetic state, and we even talked about how busy I was with the student council election…

That’s probably why Eichi-sama decided I couldn’t do it… He must have thought that he couldn’t push more things onto my plate.

I’d be fine with it, though. If it’s something that Eichi-sama believes I can do and wants me to manage, then I definitely would’ve worked super hard to meet his expectations.

Wataru: He must’ve had concerns about you pushing yourself too far, Himegimi. You collapsed during “SS” as well, so he must have thought that you might really be in danger this time.

Touri: I–In my eyes, that was the biggest blunder of my life too!

But did Eichi-sama lose faith in me because of that? Because I collapsed…?

Wataru: No, no. It should be said that Eichi is beginning to repent. He realised the responsibilities he had given you were far too heavy.

Touri: So, that’s basically saying I can’t be given anything to do because I’m useless!

Yuzuru: Young Master, we’re in public. Please keep your voice down.

Touri: I know. …Oh, sorry, I’ll have a sata andagi[⁎], please.

Wataru: You’ll gain weight if you eat a lot of sweet foods. Well, having some weight on your bones makes you nice and squishy and that’s rather adorable in itself.

Eichi has been working himself to the bone as of late and looks rather gaunt, so I’m beside myself with worry.

Yuzuru: Putting on weight is a lifestyle disease so that also worries me, though.

Touri: Hmph. I’m stressed so I need to release it by eating something sweet.

Yuzuru: Hehe. If it’s a concern that you can forget by simply eating something sweet, then that would be wonderful. I shall overlook it for today.

Touri: I think it’s going to be on my mind for a while, though… In the end, I didn’t accept it but I heard all the details.

If I had more time for it… if I had grown stronger and more impressive, then maybe I would’ve been involved with that sort of big undertaking.

I think this feeling of regret will go away soon enough. No, actually I think I’ll regret it forever.

Wataru: Isn’t it too early to give up?

Touri: What do you mean?

Wataru: Like I said, if you have regrets, or rather, if you’re interested in that matter, then all you have to do is to ask Eichi to let you be involved in it.

You seem to think Eichi’s decisions cannot be reversed no matter what, but that’s not true at all.

I’m sure if you ask him sincerely, then it’s unlikely that Eichi will say no.

That’s how important you are to him. That’s why he tried to involve you in that plan of his.

Yuzuru: After all, he said he wanted to leave it to someone he trusts. I’m sure there aren’t many people Eichi-sama can think of in situations like those.

Wataru: That’s what happens when you decide to lead a life that provokes antipathy. Himegimi, you should work hard to not be like him in those aspects.

Touri: Okay… Judging by how the student council election is proceeding, it just feels like I’m just doing what Eichi-sama did, though. 

I didn’t know I was antagonising everyone…

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ← Previous Chapter ᠂ ⚘ ˚⊹˚ ⚘ ᠂  Next Chapter →

[carrotcakecrumble]

Hiii! Love all the titles! Ralph's school diaries OR Sandy's backstory OR the two chairs whichever you prefer 💙

omg thank you<33 have all three please I’ve got millions more💅💅💅

Ralph’s school diaries excerpt:

Repentances:

I’m sorry my mind wanders. I can’t control it. I’ll do better.

I’m sorry about that dream I had last night, as well. I can’t control my dreams. If I could go without sleep I would. You know I don’t think about any of that when I’m awake, don’t you? Not on purpose. Sometimes it slips into my mind but I stop it. I can’t do that with a dream, I can’t stop things when I’m sleeping. If it happens again, will you get the Angel that watches over me to wake me up? Only, I don’t know if I’m able to by myself. When it’s happening, I hardly recognise it as a dream at all.

I want to say sorry to Tuckson too, but I can’t without telling him too much, so I’ll tell you instead and you can pass it on to him if you think it right.

I’m sorry, Tuckson, for getting such a funny feeling in my stomach when you are around. It’s not fair to you. I should try and keep all my filth and dirt to myself. I’ll do better.

Thank you, and I’m sorry. I’m trying, Lord. I’m really trying. If you can help, then please do. Please. Thank you. Sorry. Please.

(Got no clue where I was going with this one so probably won’t ever be finished, i know the title sounds self explanatory i also thought that but then I opened it and wtf was I tryna write 🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️ anyway that except is the only bit that makes any sense dhsjs)

Sandy’s backstory excerpt:

“Rhys?” He said his name just to say it, to feel it in his mouth. It was a feathery name, soft and downy. It wasn’t the name of someone who had ever meant to hurt him.

“Yes?”

He thought quickly for something to say, “Rhys,” nothing came, except the warmth of the sky’s sun melting, dripping from his eyes through his throat and spreading inside his stomach. After a moment, he decided what it was he must tell him. It didn’t feel quite true, but it would do. “I’m very happy.”

When Rhys smiled, Sandy felt his ribs might bow from the sudden frissure of pleasure expanding beneath them. The dark overhang, which had become as developed in Sandy’s mind as a shadow, stepped away for a moment, fading into near obscurity.

(This one’s actually finished ???? but I’m pretty sure after reading back through it that the reason I haven’t published is because it’s insanely fuckin foul omfg like pure grit. Like, the bit above is the only bit that was safe to post here, maybe a bit too dark even for me dhsjsj)

Two chairs excerpt: (aka: the Laurie letter fic for @renaultphile )

“I wrote this, just before— well, when I came to break it all off. I wrote it all out but I never sent it.”

Ralph looked down at it, his face was unreadable, damp from water vapour, limp from tiredness, carved in gentle angles by the buzzing yellow light hanging atop them. The blue of his eyes dissapeared momentarily beneath lowered eyelids, and then appeared, direct, looking straight into Laurie’s own. Laurie felt something heavy in his gut, something like shame. The letter was something he had come to see as something from a dead past, and now examined by Ralph’s painfully alive eyes, he felt like he was display at a museum. Male. 23. Suffered an injury to the right leg, most likely endured during battle. Survived, but later succumbed to a fatal dose of shame and embarrassment whilst cooking supper.

“I read yours, so it’s only fair you read mine. If you want.” Ralph still hadn’t taken it, though Laurie offered it smothered to his chest, “It’s all dead and done with now, but if we’re to have this all out, we might as well be on even footing.”

(I will finish this i promise 🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️)

[madrigaljail]

HAPPY EASTER have some blasphemy from the docs featuring everyone's(?) favorite(??) idiots. Once again: author gave up Catholicism for Lent once and forgot to pick it up again.

*

“Forgive me, padre, for I have sinned, it’s been…eh, a few months since my last confession, sorry. I’ve never been good at this, it’s a failing. But! The gaps are getting shorter, like it won’t ever be, y’know, ten years again. Heh.”

Silence.

“Right, still too soon. A-anyway, where to begin..well, I’ve been doing a bit of lying, but it’s lying by omission, y’know. Oh, the ol’ classic of disobeying my mother; nothing major but I know it still counts. There’s been a couple of parties, and I did engage in revelry, I know that’s frowned upon if it’s…excessive.”

The silence continued, punctuated by a tiny sigh.

“...oh shit, it’s you, isn’t it.”

The obscuring screen slid to the side and yep, yes, there was José, wearing his most dour expression.

“Hello, Señor Madrigal.”

“Padre Guzmán. Ah. I…wasn’t expecting you.”

“How?”

“I dunno, it’s usually Flores!”

“We’re taking turns, of course we’re taking turns.”

“Right. Obviously.” Bruno stared down at his hands, fretful. “We really should have, I dunno, rehearsed this.”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“Not like that!” 

The silence resumed, more awkward than before.

“Well. At least I already know the more…you don’t need to say anything about the fornication or unnatural desi-”

Bruno boggled at him. “I wasn’t planning to!” he hissed. “That- no, nope, not happening. Do people really confess that stuff? Cuz I can’t imagine.”

“Yes?” Padre Guzmán lifted his eyebrows. “The truly repentant do.”

“Oh. Right.” Then: “Do you? Confess, about all that?”

There was a pause, and he looked upward before drawing a breath and nodding. “I have, yes.”

“...uh huh..” Panic panic panic.

“Not to Flores, God no, but…in the past, I have.”

That sounded significant, and the priest looked troubled. Bruno wanted to follow up on that but before he could Padre Guzmán held up his hand.

“Is there anything more you wish to confess?”

“Ah, no, I’m- that's all.” No regret, no remorse, no repenting. Bruno would ponder the full implications of that later. “So…right, contrition: Lord God, in your goodness have mercy on me: do not look on my sins, but take away all my guilt. Create in me a clean heart and renew within me an upright spirit.”

The priest nodded. “Very well. Pray the rosary to the Fatima Prayer, perform an act of charity, and…oh, do something nice for your mother. I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”

They both made the sign of the cross and murmured an amen.

“Thank you, padre,” Bruno said, getting to his feet as the screen slid closed. Then he paused. “Uh. I’ll be over on Tuesday?”

The screen slammed open again and José glared. “Not here, you- a full rosary, including the decades, three acts of charity, and you’re meditating on the mysteries for the next two weeks.”

“Sorry.”

“Go in peace, Señor Madrigal.” There was another sigh. “I’ll see you on Tuesday.”

[hereticalapothecary]

Hi gorgeous… I pray you’re doing well. I pray you reach out to the One True God Jesus… unfortunately worshiping all these other “gods” just leads us further into destruction and doesn’t really feed our souls… Jesus is not the religion that hurts people and I’m sorry if that’s been your experience but a direct connection with the Spirit of God will guide you and fulfil you in ways you never thought possible.. God bless you beautiful. Please don’t be afraid to pray to Jesus and just give it a try… whether that be now or later…

If you don’t know what to say, here’s a prayer for you…

“Dear God,

I pray you come into my life and show me the way. Please guide me with Your Spirit and lead me in Your Truth.

In Jesus’ name

Amen”

God bless you beautiful. Jesus loves you so much

Oh dear friend you’ve caught me on my lunch break. I have the time.

You think you’re doing me a favor by coming into my inbox and preaching Jesus behind a grey face but you’re really not. See, had I not been through a lot of therapy I’d probably be furious and trauma triggered right now. I mean I won’t lie I’m a little annoyed but like I said, I’ve got the time.

But honestly? I just feel bad for you. Because this was the only way you’ve been taught to believe and this is the only way you’ve been taught to act. How much success has this tactic gotten you? People probably haven’t responded well in the past because no one likes being proselytized to be totally honest.

Feels bad, huh? Like the whole world is cruel and evil and this must truly be the only way because people are so mean when you’re just trying to save them. But the reality is, people are good and kind too, but people don’t like being told their belief systems are wrong.

See, you don’t know me. And I don’t know you but I can make some assumptions because I’ve been in your shoes. I’ve been the person who sees someone who has “strayed from the path” and goes “I’m praying for you” but again, it doesn’t actually help.

I grew up evangelical, probably a lot like you. And I’ll say it, I was a good Christian. I did mission trips to Africa, to Europe. I served in my community, did children’s programming, camp counseling. I went to college and got a degree in Biblical studies because I just loved God so much.

So what changed and why did I leave? After all it was people and not God, right? Well, yes and no. I left mostly because of the hypocrisy. I read a Jesus who loved the poor and stood for the oppressed while watching my classmates and professors speak out against marginalized communities in the name of Jesus.

So yes, people hurt me in the name of Jesus.

But so did God.

See, I believed that if I didn’t believe in God the right way I’d go to hell for eternity. That I could only be happy if I had Jesus in my life. And I was super depressed and it felt like I was in an abusive relationship with God.

“You’re nothing without me. Everything good in your life is because of me. Everything bad is from the enemy or I’m teaching you a lesson. You are inherently evil without me. Love me or burn forever.”

That didn’t feel like love to me - because it’s not. I realized if a human was telling me those things I’d call it abuse. Why would I let God say those kinds of things to me if I wouldn’t tolerate humans saying it to me?

So I left. And yeah, I’ve wandered to different gods. I’ve experienced too many spiritual things to deny the existence of higher powers and spirituality. But God and I are back on speaking terms now at least, and frankly I believe whatever makes you love your neighbor more is God, whether that be under the name of science and atheism or under the name of Jesus.

Here’s the thing. You can repent of this lifestyle of arrogance that causes you to come anonymously into the inbox of a queer mystic to preach evangelism 101. I don’t need your version of God because I already have God in my life.

Because here’s the thing about loving your neighbor: your neighbor also gets to choose what love looks like to them, too. And most people are not going to say that anonymous proselytization feels loving to them. It actually comes across as tone deaf and judgmental. I know that probably isn’t your heart - I have no doubt you do what you do out of a sense of love and obligation.

Because I want you to understand the harm your rhetoric can cause, I’m also going to tell you how to love me.

First of all be kind and listen to me.

Secondly, go bake something for someone physically near your location. Go make some chili for your neighbor. It’s cold out where I live, homemade goods are always nice when it’s cold.

Find your nearest food shelter and ask what they need - I hear menstrual products are always needed. Ask if they need volunteers!

Donate an eSIM to Gaza or to another organization working for a free Palestine.

If you don’t have access to any of that, just text a friend and tell them you love and appreciate them. I promise you will be the hands and feet of Jesus more by doing those things rather than telling me that I’m wrong. Because truth be told you have no clue my spiritual path because I keep a lot of it to myself these days. And I like where my path is leading me so far because it encourages me to stand up for myself but also love others more. How can that be anything but God if it’s bringing more love to the world?

I pray that you find peace and happiness in your faith, but also that you stop acting with pride. I pray you may be saved from the same despair and disenchantment I faced and also recognize the harm that can be done by being dismissive toward religious trauma. I’m willing to share those experiences if you have more questions. God loves you, and I hope you can see that I am also loved and made in the image of God even if my beliefs differ from yours.

May God bless you, truly.

[anewstartfanfic]

Chapter 106 Preview: Cook's Legends

“No no! I remember that story!” said Argo, “There were some bandits that took to trafficking unsuspecting travelers by getting them drunk at inns or just plain kidnapping them in the night in secluded areas. There was even a rumor that they were selling human meat to royals and nobles who wanted to try something adventurous. Well, one day, they had a full boat filled with people they were taking to the auction house filled with women and children and naive men and one in particular was a woman sporting a head kerchief. The men were discussing who was going to sample the goods and who was going to be killed for…delicacy. The Head Kerchief was intrigued. She said that she was a world class chef and she always wanted to try and cook human meat. The men agreed and they chose a little boy to be the delicacy. She, a bandit, and the boy were ushered into the room. Unknown to the others, she slit the bandit guard, slaughtered a pig and had the little boy hide. She served them the food and it was so good they wanted more and this time grabbed a little girl. She did the same thing and this time, she added a special mushroom that mixed with alcohol caused a worst effect and soon the bandits were drunk and passed out one by one with the woman giving them more and more food until eventually they were all knocked out. The woman freed everyone in the cells and they trapped the bandit in the cells. They sailed everyone back home until eventually, it was the woman a handful of people left. THe bandit awoke to the woman who explained everything. The bandits threatened her with all kinds of torture and something happened. One of the bandits managed to pick the lock. The bandits swarmed the woman. The men above didn’t realize until they heard the woman scream. They rushed to the door only for it to be closed. They were terrified. That poor woman locked in with thirty bandits who were out for blood. The men tried to pry the doors open for what seemed like eternity and they finally managed and realized a man’s arm was still holding the door. Half of them retreated to the cells and some laid on the floor holding stumps where their limbs used to be. She hacked off the legs of the last bandit. She then turned with a smile at her five companions and asked them to boil some water in her cooking pot. She gathered the severed limbs and boiled them and cooked them forcing the bandits to eat their limbs, repentance for the lives they took. Then she and the five left. The Marines found the boat a few days later and then bandits told them what happened. One Marine however, was a cadet and one of the few that escaped. The bandits were jailed and the Demonic Cook went back on her journey, appearing every so often. The bandits I heard all live in a compound, refusing to ever speak of what happened. They got off because of the royals they supplied. They retired and that whole town have a group of men that are missing limbs and became strict vegetarians,” the kids looked at Cook. She rubbed the back of her head. 

“Yeah, that was me. To be honest, I pretty much forgot that one,”

“So….did you really cook their limbs?” said Law

“Mhm, sorry you had to find out this way,” 

“How did you manage to fight them all?!” said Ace

“Oh! My weapons are my cleavers! My mentor taught me everything I know,” 

“We never see you with a cleaver!” said Killer, “Why are you hiding things!” Cook laughed and went under her blouse and took out her cleavers. She then unfastened her meteor ball and chain.

“See? I have my larger ax but only when I know I’m going to need it. The bandits were idiots who thought they were just cooking utensils and technically they are!” 

“Can I hold them?!” said Argo, “Please!” 

“Of course!” she presented one. He could barely hold it up but the idea that he was holding something of legend was making him as giddy as a schoolgirl, “I’ll sign your traveler book too,” 

“THANK YOU!” the kids however had MORE questions. 

“Was it really thirty bandits?!” said Luffy

“Did you cut off a few balls?!” said Kid 

“What happened to your small crew?!” said ___________________

“There were about fifty of them. I castrated a few and they knew what they did to deserve that. The five men, we actually just parted ways. I was on my journey and they were on theirs. We still write from time to time,”