#i’m so sad about this but also i hadn’t gotten over Izzy so i was hoping for a good season 3 to see how everyone dealt with season 2 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thesmokingguns · 3 years ago

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Not with the band

summary: hi everyone, I wrote this for @ayablackwood . I hope you like it!

A/N: this is my longest oneshot and I hope you all enjoy this! Thank you for Reading. If you want to make a request for a fix either message me or you can request HERE. Thank you!

tag list: @thenobodies-inc , @littlemisscare-all , @ayablackwood @agroupiewhore

Word Count:6102

Izzy POV

The first thing I noticed about her was the big brown eyes. Sad eyes that showed she had lived her life and seen a few things in her time. I had never noticed a girl's eyelashes before but I could see the long black lashes sweeping down, staring at her drink before looking back up almost doing a reset. Maybe she was like me and thought that these parties took a lot out of a person. The constant talking to strangers, faking politeness or interest in a conversation with someone.

I got a reputation for being indifferent, a quiet introspective sort of person who didn't care about others. But that wasn’t who I was; I just found most people were just boring to be around. There are only so many times you can talk about your band before you realize that it’s not your band they care about. Most girls I met just wanted to sleep with me. It wasn’t even that they wanted to sleep with me but that they wanted to sleep with the guitarist from Guns n Roses. And that was fine. I had no problem sleeping with the girls who didn’t require me to put in any effort because I wasn’t going to waste my time trying to woo them.

But as I watched this stranger across the room, I couldn't help but start to think about who she was. I noticed she had a nervous tick of pushing her straight black hair behind her ear when men came up to her and when she was talking to her friends she’d place her hands on their forearms almost whispering secrets into their ears. She played with the tab of her beer can, the one she only sipped a couple times in the hour that I had been watching her. She wasn’t wearing skyrocketing heels or lace dresses. She had on a button up summer dress with a collar and short sleeves. Every once and a whole she’d stuff her hand in a pocket, letting her eyes sweep the room for someone she knew. She looked ready for a church picnic and not the rock and roll party at a beach house that would probably stretch though the entire weekend. She didn’t even seem to notice that she wasn’t all teased up 80’s glam; she was comfortable in her.

I had no idea who she was or who she came with but I couldn’t stop staring at her. She drank beer instead of the usual wine or booze that the girls at these parties consumed and instead of hanging out near a band member she was around other girls. They all seemed to come over to her, leaning close to whisper secrets in her ear, the sly smiles they spread across their faces. How did she know so many people here and I had no idea who she was? Finally, Axl’s girlfriend laced their arms, dragging her over to the couch where Axl and I were both sitting, giving me a chance to get to know her.

“This is Y/N, she’s my best friend. Y/N this is Axl and Izzy.'' When the introduction was done she pulled her down on the couch, our legs touching from the close proximity. I watched her lick her lips, turning to lean close to me so she could talk and have me hear what she was saying. I could smell her shampoo, like lavender, and feel the warmth of her body as she gave me a conspiratory look. It was intoxicating being this close to her and having her overwhelm my senses.

“I’m everyone’s best friend because I’m usually the designated driver.” she joked, the smile breaking out over her face like she was sharing this joke with me. Holy shit, it was like staring into the sun when her smile spread across her face, warming up those sad brown eyes and showing a twinkle of joy.

Hook, line, and sinker. I never reacted to a girl like this before and now this stranger was beside me on the couch and I couldn’t even think of something to say. All I could think about was how soft her hair looked and how much I wanted to wrap my fingers around a silky lock. Or how her nails weren’t painted the fashionable red or the neon colors but this soft pink. Everything about her seemed to stick out or maybe she was just sticking out to me because I was already obsessed with her.

“I’m Izzy.” She gave me a look and I realized that introductions had already been made and I was just making a fool of myself. This is exactly what I get for spacing out in so many conversations with girls. I lost any sort of ability to communicate with someone. “Do you want to get out of here?” Following up my reintroduction of myself with a line that I had used on a bunch of one night stands that I had wanted to stop talking about. It was that instant feeling of regret seeping into me.

“No, I don’t.” She didn’t give me any other explanation, only got up from the couch, headed over to a group of people and blended into them with ease. She hadn't even given me a look when she left.

“You have been staring at Y/N all night and I got her to come and sit down next to you and not even five minutes later you screwed it up. What did you say to her?” the girl on Axl’s lap asked me. I felt like a kid being scolded by my parents and even felt a burning in my cheeks.

“I’ll fix it, don’t worry.” I was standing up, walking across the room to where she was standing. It had been months, maybe years since I went up to a girl and not just let them come up to me. It was like she felt me coming, her head turning, eyes meeting mine and suddenly I was forgetting everything that I had prepared in my mind. Just the way she looked at me had me forgetting the apology that I had in my mind. “Just grabbing a beer.” I reached around her grabbing a beer from the bucket on the table watching her eyes follow me. Smooth. So fucking smooth.

It had been a week since the party and I couldn’t get her out of my mind. I’d go to sleep thinking of her. She’d come to me in my dreams with those brown eyes waking me up. I couldn’t stop thinking about how the side of her lips curled up and her whole face lit up when she smiled. I started to realize I was putting her on this pedestal, obsessing over Y/N, a girl I had met once in passing at a party.

So I did the only thing that I could do. I called up Axl to have his girlfriend plan a double date so that I could see her again. With the double date she would have her friend there for support but she would also be there with me. This would give me the opportunity to charm her and show her I was capable of conversations that were bigger than just introducing myself or getting a beer.

The girls were at the bar and my heart got caught in my throat when I saw her. She was wearing a silky green dress, clinging to the curves of her body. Cherry painted lips, full and just needing to be kissed, were in a smile as she sipped a wine glass. I didn’t know how I was going to make it through the night.

Her eyes landed on mine across the room, the soft smile she was wearing blooming larger as she shook her head, leaning forward to her friend before the pair of them were both headed over to us.

“I had a feeling it would be you here tonight.” she had that glint in her eyes again, “What was your name again? I don’t think that I caught it the first time.” the way she teased me so easily put me at ease. I didn't feel the stress like I had the night of the party. She was bringing me out of the shyness, fixing the way my mouth was tongue tied.

Y/N sat next to me at dinner, tight in the booth as we talked about all the usual things people talked about but instead of hitting the highlight rail and painting a rainbow over her life she was raw. When we talked about family she told me about her grandparents who had raised her and Aunts and Uncles who stepped in where her parents failed. She knew about the band because she was actually best friends with Axl’s girlfriend so when she looked at me there was a skeptical look in her eyes as if she knew the secrets and shames of my life. But there wasn't any judgement.

Y/N asked me questions, not about the band and what it felt like to be on stage or if I’d write a song about her but different questions like what it felt like when I held a guitar for the first time and how many songs did he write that never made it past notebooks. We talked and talked, snug in the booth together seeming to forget it was a double date and we just fell into a conversation together.

Finally a waiter came over to us letting us know that the place was closing and that the two of you had to leave. Time had completely gotten away from me as I had stayed wrapped up in her. Looking across the table I saw Axl and his date gone.The check was on the table but before I could reach for it she had thrown money down, smiling up at the waiter and letting him know it was all set.

“I’m supposed to pay for that.” I said as she scooted gently pushing me out of the booth. Her shoulders shrugged as she walked out of the restaurant, not waiting for me or seeming to care if I was behind her.

The sound of her heels on concrete, gave away which direction she was headed. Her bare shoulders were held high even in the cool night and I was rushing to be by her side, shrugging out of the denim jacket and wrapping it around her. The kind brown eyes looked up at me, skeptical for a second.

“I’m not going to sleep with you, Izzy.” her voice was clear and came out easily, “And I don’t date musicians.” She was matter of fact, shutting off the fact that we had just had a good night together and had gotten to know each other more.

I had watched the way she talked, confirming some of her nervous ticks. Like how she would look down and reset, sweeping her eyes around the room when she wasn’t comfortable. That had stopped about twenty minutes into dinner when we started to get along. There was no beer can tab to bend this way and that so instead her finger swirled around the top ledge of her wind glass in between small sips of wine.

“I never said anything about sleeping with you or dating you.” I said as we got to the corner. Her brown eyes were narrowed, regarding me with a strange curiosity like she was trying to make out what I wanted from her. “I want to kiss you though.” My hand slid through her black hair, as soft as silk, just like I had known it would be. She gasped, her mouth opening in a slight gasp not expecting me to be so close to her. Our eyes met and I watched her search me, as if there would be answers behind my eyes that I hadn’t spoken to her.

“If you kiss me I’ll never speak to you again. I don’t need boys kissing me.” her brown eyes were serious. There was an interesting spark there and it wasn’t like she was telling me that I couldn't kiss her. Y/N hadn’t moved an inch from my arms, she stayed looking up at me with my hands on her lower back. Having her in my arms felt good, not like the carnal or feral pleasure that I had with random girls. It was like we could communicate without words

“I’m not a boy, I’m a man.” The way she smirked at that statement was encouraging but there was still the fear in her eyes that I wanted to see gone. How could I get those brown eyes to only shimmer in happiness. “Let me walk you home.” I pulled back, watching the way her eyes sparkled for a second. It was the first time I felt like I had made the right choice.

Two days later I was sitting on the couch backstage, my fingers picking idolly on the guitar when two giggling girls burst into backstage. And there she was, eyes shiny with joy as she laughed with her friend. The pair of them seemed almost surprised that they were in the room with the band. Y/N looked up, eyes landing on me as if she knew exactly where I would be.

I don’t know why her eyes knocked the wind out of me everytime that they looked at me but I was made stupid in her presence. She didn’t come over to talk to me, staying with her friend. Her black hair was tied back in a red ribbon bow. If she could have reached the ribbon I’m sure she would have pulled it out; she was playing with the end of her ponytail. I didn’t know why she was nervous but I gave her space watching how every few minutes she would look down her eyes looking around until they landed on me. When we would make eye contact she seemed frustrated by it and would pull her eyes away.

I had her phone number which I had called several times since the double date without her picking up once. There had to be a reason she was ignoring me. I had thought of around 100 in the time that I had been obsessing with her. The biggest one, the one that made the most sense is she wasn’t into me because there was someone else. The logical part of my brain accepted this but the other part wanted to fight for her, prove that I was worth it.

Before we went on stage, I looked over at her again.She looked tired, like she hadn’t slept since I dropped her off. Small dark circles that she hadn’t bothered to cover in makeup stood out as she sipped her beer. She wasn’t trying to make everyone laugh or touching forearms as she leaned in to speak to them. One hand was firmly planted in the denim shorts she was wearing and the other on a can of beer that I was sure was warm from how long she nursed it. It felt like something was wrong and I didn't have time to figure out what it was.

During the show I looked over, almost doing a double take when I saw her standing there, watching us perform. Her friends were all moving to the music but she was perfectly still just watching me. Not the band but me. She caught me staring and sent me a small wave in return, I missed the next note getting a scathing look from Axl as repayment.

How could she be so inside my head? I had no idea how to deal with it. All I could think about for the rest of the shoe was getting off stage and talking to her. Or kissing her. I could imagine her pressed against her, her arms wrapping around my neck as I lifted off her feet into a kiss. The feeling of her plus lips on mine, her tongue that I was sure tasted like something sweet, dancing against mine. I blinked myself out of the image, stealing a look over at her as if she could read my embarrassing thoughts. Just like a high school idiot I was fantasizing about a girl. I needed to get a better grip on things.

It took me almost twenty minutes to find her after the show. Between all the hustle and bustle of people moving around it was like a whirlwind and then suddenly there she was walking towards me, what looked like my denim jacket folded over her arm.

“Hey, I just brought this back for you. I have to head home now.” She tried to hand me the jacket but I was too caught up in the idea of her leaving so soon to grab it. Y/N must have seen the confusion on my face, “I have a meeting I need to prepare for tomorrow. I probably shouldn’t have even come out to this.” She motioned around to the show and once more held out the jacket for me to take,

“Why don’t I take you home?” The weary look on her face was there again; she didn’t trust me. It was fair. We hadn’t known each other for that long and if she knew the same people as I did it wasn’t really a slight on me to not trust me. It was common sense, “I just want to have a couple more minutes with you. I won’t force myself into your apartment or anything like that.” I could feel my heart breathing as I tried to play off this cool, collected guy. When she nodded in agreement I had to bite my lip to stop the idiotic smile from plastering across my face.

We talked in the car, small talk about little things and I asked her about her meeting. I got to glimpse her face express joy, stress, hope, and a million other emotions at the mention of it and realized this wasn’t just her work meeting but her passion meeting. Y/N wanted to design clothes and had gotten a meeting to work with a company to see her line. If she was taken on she could have a clothing line out as soon as the Spring.

I had been around musicians for so long that it seemed second nature to brag or talk about our work. There would be a million times where someone would just pick up an instrument and other people would join in on a jam session and suddenly a song was written. Or the amount of times composition notebooks were passed around to judge song lyrics someone else had written. No one was really shy about their music because everyone had this sense that they were the best at what they did.

Y/N seemed to have a track record of people not fully believing in her. She told me about her grandparents having sent her to college to get a husband more than they had sent her to get a degree and when she had graduated with her business degree and a good job they had been proud of her but there had been this sense of failure with it. If she told them it would just feel like it was about her step away from their traditional expectations of how she should live her life. Her friends were all so wrapped up in what they were doing, most of them hanging around the scene and trying to land a rich boyfriend to take care of them that she felt like if she shared her work with them they wouldn’t understand what she was trying to do. So she kept her designs to herself, sketching out ideas and tracing out pattern designs when she was alone. She would take vacation days from work just to sew or spend whole weekends pretending she had the stomach flu to give her an escape from everyone else and just focus on something that she wanted to do.

Seeing her talk about it and feeling the sincerity of her passion coming out in her words moved me and I had to see it. I wanted to see what made her so excited and what her dreams were. It felt important to me because it made her happy.

“Do you think I could see what you’re working on?” I asked when we pulled up outside of her place. She looked at me, shocked and stared for a second before giving a slight nod as she got out of the car leading me inside the place that she lived.

It was exactly how I would imagine it to be, pictures on the wall of family and friends, fresh flowers on the counter, a coffee cup with a lipstick smear on her coffee table, and just a mess of fabric everywhere.

“Sorry for the chaos. I’ve been in a panic mood.” she confessed, clearing off the couch and starting to tidy up as I walked around, looking at some of the sketches on the wall and letting my fingers run over the clothing she had on some forms. I could feel her eyes following me, watching me as I moved around.

“You did all of this by yourself?” She nodded, those brown eyes scared as she shared with me the intimacy of her craft. The raw unfinished hems of art in progress. “You’re amazing.” her eyes widened at this and for a second I thought she was going to cry. I took a step closer to her, “You should be really proud of yourself for getting all of this done. And your work is amazing. Will you tell me more about your meeting?”

And she did. We sat on the couch, time once more seeming to melt away around us. Both of us talked about our goals and dreams. The life we wanted and just some of the things that we had dreamed about. It was easy to talk about the life that we both wanted because our puzzle pieces we wanted in our life seemed to fit together.

The sun tickled me awake, teasing me out of sleep as I woke up on a couch. I looked at my side where Y/N was tucked in, fast asleep. There was a smirk as she dreamed about something amusing, drawn over her face. Some of her dark hair had escaped the pony tail and spilled over the gentle features of her face. Absent-mindedly, I tucked them back watching amused as her nose scrunched up from my fingers.

I couldn’t remember waking up next to someone that I hadn’t had sex with. I wasn’t sure what I was even supposed to do. Could I make myself a cup of coffee? Could I sneak out and make it to the band meeting I needed to be at in thirty seven minutes? Shit.

Trying to be gentle I slowly got up from the couch, rearranging Y/N so she would stay asleep. I grabbed my jacket, laying it over her as she resettled into the spot. I wanted to stay so badly but knew that I couldn’t miss the meeting.

Finding a pen I scribbled a note, hoping that she could read my chicken scratch writing and that she saw the message before her meeting. With one last glance I looked at her before leaving the apartment.

Y/N POV

Oh man, another night on the couch. My back was protesting against my decision before I even opened my eyes. It smells like cigarettes, sweat, and cologne. It smells like Izzy. My eyes snapped open as I remembered talking to him last night. Now I’m waking wrapped in the denim jacket I tried to give him back and he’s gone. When did he leave?

Looking at the time I started rushing around, packing things up in the garment bags, getting dressed and grabbing my bag. I stopped seeing a piece of paper with different handwriting on the counter, Izzy’s name signed at the bottom.

‘Sorry for sneaking out on you well you slept, you looked so peaceful I didn’t want to wake you. Your work is amazing and they’ll be so lucky to add your designs to the team. Good luck, Y/N. I’ll be throwing a party tonight. Here’s my address. Please come. -Izzy’

The kind words had my cheeks blazing. He believed in mr. He thought I had talent and could see the creativity and love sewn into each garment. He respected my craft and my passions. He had listened to my lamenting the night before about everything and he wanted my dreams to be realities.

The realization that I liked the guitarist started to seep in. The preconceived notions of who the band was and how they slept around was starting to slip; for the past couple weeks Izzy only had eyes for me. And when we talked it was so easy to tell him everything. At the parties and backstage Izzy had stayed away from the girls who wanted to sleep with him. He had even left to take me home. He hadn’t tried anything.

I had made this assumption about him because his band was just like everyone else. After the meeting I’d get ready and talk to him, apologize, kiss him.

Walking into the party I tried not to fidget with the leather dress. My eyes wandered around the house, I knew most of the people here but I couldn’t find Izzy.

It was twenty minutes later when I finally spotted him on the balcony. He looked uncomfortable, three girls crowded around him as he nodded his head absently. Every couple minutes he’d look up, eyes scanning the crowd before looking down at his drink, tipping it back to down the amber liquid. But the girls were going in rotation to the bar to keep them coming.

A weird cramping filled my stomach and my hands tightened in fists. The jealousy overtook me as I tried to figure out a plan.

“You’re staring at Izzy like he usually stares at you.” Looking over my shoulder I saw Axl staring past you to where his bandmate was trapped being held hostage by the hyenas. “Are you going to save him or are you going to let them take him upstairs? Better figure it out kid.” The lead singer moved away leaving me alone. I stewed in my anger, showtime.

One foot in front of another, hips swinging dangerously side to side I watched the eyes follow me. Izzy finally saw me when I got to the balcony, stepping forward to break out from his captors. My hand went to the back of his head, pulling him down a few inches to my lips and planting my lips on his. Hands slid down the smooth sides of the dress around me to my ass and back up to my lower back. Pulling away, my heart beating a million miles a minute, I looked into his shocked eyes. At least it wasn’t just me that felt the fireworks.

“I’ve had a very good day and I’m not going to let anyone ruin that.” I explained to him, flashing him a smile. Izzy cupped my cheeks, his lips hitting mine again as his body pressed me into the balcony. I could feel every part of him, hard and solid against me.

“I’ve been waiting to kiss you for weeks.” His head rested against mine and for a second I forgot that we were at a party surrounded by friends. Izzy seemed to completely forget, his eyes on me, one hand firm against my hip well the other ran through my hair.

“Did it live up to expectations?” I teased, watching the way he was looking at me. His gaze was intense and I felt like I was going to shiver despite the warmth of the night.

“It just left me hungry to kiss every inch of your body.” His words came out husky, vibrating through me and making the dress that barely covered my skin seem too hot to wear anymore.

A flip had been switched on and I couldn’t turn it off. After fighting it for weeks the feeling of Izzy’s hands in my body was exactly what I wanted.

“Are you going to fuck me like one of your groupies?” I asked, “Are we going to go upstairs and in an hour I’ll leave and never hear from you again?” His eyebrows furrowed together, confused.

“Do you think that I’m only going to take an hour with you, honey? That’s cute.” He was taking my hand, weaving us through the crowd and to his bedroom. My cheeks were burning red as he pulled us inside, locking the door behind us. “If you don’t want this, now would be the time to tell me because if you don’t say something in the next ten seconds I’m going to toss you on that bed behind you and do things with your body that I’m sure you’ve never had done before.” His eyes were staring so deeply into me, I gulped trying to picture what he had in mind but not being able to have a coherent thought.

“Why are we still in clothes?”

That was exactly the answer he was looking for. He took one step towards me, looking over my dress before spinning me around, his lips on the back of my neck kissing and biting around to my ear as his fingers pulled the zipper down, his middle finger tracing my spine as it went.

His mouth moved down, kissing until the dress was off, biting my ass cheek as I stepped from the dress. Izzy was on his knees behind me and I felt disoriented that I couldn’t see him.

“Bend over for me. Put your elbows out so you’re comfortable, Y/N. Good job, honey.” Licking my lips I followed his instructions and my body position ass up off the bed.

Hands on my hips rolled my underwear down, pulling it off as well as sliding off my heels. I felt on display, like I was his toy to play with. The idea of it having me bite my lip.

“Look at your pretty pussy.” His finger traced the outside lips, a whimper rolling out of my mouth, “I’m going to take care of you, honey. Don’t worry about that. Let me just enjoy the sight of you and learn your body, okay?” I nodded wishing I could turn and look at him. He rubbed his hands over my ass, pushing my stomach down and arching me higher. His hands went down again, pushing my legs open.

The way that Izzy made a hissing sound followed by a low grunt had me wondering what he was doing.

“Izzy, I can’t see what you’re doing.” I whined out trying to turn. A soft smack on my ass had me freezing in place.

“Do you want me to describe everything to you?” His voice seemed deeper, husky and needy now. “I’m going to get undressed .” The sound of a fly going down, a belt buckle unclipping and the sound of clothes being tossed aside confirmed this. “Now, I’m going to get on my knees behind you and play with your pussy. It’s so juicy and wet I’m going to pump out some of the juices like this.”

Two fingers stretched me open, surging me forward. Izzy moved his fingers quickly for a second, curling them inside to rub against the swell inside of my body. He pulled them out after a second and I heard a slurping sound and a groan of appreciation. I could picture him tasting me off himself and moaning softly into the bed sheets.

“I’m going to get more of your wet pussy juice and use it to stroke my hard cock. Is that okay, honey?” I squeaked out a yes, feeling his two fingers teasing at my hole. My body pushed back, wanting to feel full of him again, “What was that?” He kissed my thigh, wet grin the juices he had just been working from inside of me.

“Please, Izzy. I want you to pump your cock with my wet pussy.” My heart was beating so loudly. I was so horny and just wanted him to work the orgasm from my body. I felt comfortable and trusted him with myself, feeling like he wouldn’t abuse the power in a way I didn’t like.

His fingers were once more inside of me, working at me again. My hands gripped the sheets, trying not to push back against him but I could feel the rocking in my hips.

“Do you need to cum? Am I not finger fucking you hard enough? Let me use my mouth. I’ll fuck you with my tongue and suck on that little swollen clit.” His fingers left my body and I whimpered. I could hear this wet grunting and knew he was fisting his cock as he played with me. “You have me so hard.”

“So fuck me.” I said panting. It felt like he kept getting me so close and stopping. I could feel the quivering in my legs and knew I was more than ready to cum.

“Patience. You made me be patient for you now you be a good girl and let me taste you. I want to lap up your sticky pussy juices before I bury my cock into you.” At the idea of his cock in me I could feel the tightening in my belly.

“Holy-“ I couldn’t finish my sentence. His warm tongue swiped over me, twirling around my home, dancing into my pussy and licking my walls before sliding out down to my slit where his perfect lips wrapped around it like a kiss before his tongue spun around it sucking and pulling it in his mouth.

I was rocking again, over-stimulated and wanting to orgasm more and more. My mind was blank, a coherent thought no longer feasible.

“You can cum for me. I’ll keep sucking and licking you and right at your peak I’m going to push my cock all the way in. You’re going to keep pushing back just like you’re doing now in it, Cumming against my cock and letting me drain myself inside you.” He whispered as he laid these over stimulating kisses over my glistening cunt. His tongue swiped down into me again, then a flat stroke over me and up to my clit. I felt his tongue slide around it sucking the small ball until I was shaking from the orgasm.

Izzy was quick to slide inside me, filling me with his cock, stretching it as he fucked me, dragging out my orgasm as my wetness slid down my thighs over his balls and on his own legs.

“That’s a good girl, cumming so hard against my cock.” His hands were on my hips as I pushed back wanting him to keep fucking me. My hands on the small of my waist helped to pull me back and keep me dripping over every inch of him.

The low groan he gave out let me know he was close and I squeezed, pushing myself back up on my elbows tk throw it back. His hand slid down to my ass smacking it knee again before hands were digging on my hip, his balls slapping my enforced clit as he shuddered inside me.

Izzy stayed like that for a second, both of us panting and gasping for air. He pulled out with a satisfied groan falling beside me on the bed and dragging me close to him in the bed.

His lips were on my head, soft kisses and hair strokes soothing me. Izzy dragged a bed sheet over us, his arms returning to wrap around me. I felt exhausted, safe, comfortable and something deeper for him. A new connection beyond just the carnal pleasure we just had.

“Do you want to stay here for the night? We can do brunch in the morning and you can tell me all about your meeting?” He had remembered the most important step in my career and was making time for me to tell him more about it.

I pulled him into another kiss, his lips tasted like me and I knew we weren’t going to leave this bed until that brucnh he was talking about.

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genork-the-fandork · 3 years ago

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As an add on to the playlists I created for this particular day, I also wanted to do some writing for the 01 kids as well.

For those who don’t know, I love the Digimon Adventure tri. character songs. (I even did a full blown analysis of the lyrics.) So I decided to do some short one shots featuring a lyric from each kid’s character song.

You can find the songs here in case you haven’t heard them. I found the English translations on Wikimon.

I hope you enjoy! <3

Tai

"If you get lost, I want you to hold my two hands"

Agumon hadn't made it home yet. Tai was starting to get worried about the little Digimon, so he grabbed his coat and went to look for him.

As he looked in the usual places (namely, food stands and shops), he was reminded of a time when he and Kari were little. They'd gone to play hide and seek in the park, and Kari had hidden so well Tai had been looking for her for over an hour. By the time he'd found her, she was crying because she had gotten herself lost and didn't know how to get back to him. He'd had to hold both of her hands and lead her back to where their mom was waiting.

Not that he expected Agumon to be sobbing, but he hoped he would at least find him before he got hurt.

It didn't take long. In the same park Tai had once found Kari in, he found Agumon, kicking his feet back and forth as he sat on a bench. "What took you so long, Tai?" he said, the long-forgotten wrappers of crepes and candies resting beside him.

"There was no telling where you were, buddy," Tai shot back, gently rubbing his knuckles into Agumon's head.

The Digimon laughed and hopped off the bench, gathering up his trash to throw out. "I got lost, but I knew you'd find me, Tai. You always do."

Tai smiled. "I guess I do."

Even though he didn't need it, Agumon held Tai's hand all the way home.

Matt

"The seasons continue to change and we become adults"

"When did we become adults?" Tai complained, his legs draped over the back of the couch.

"About the same time we started college, I'm pretty sure," Matt quipped from where he sat on the carpet, staring out the window. He glanced over at his best friend, who looked put out by this answer. "Has it gotten through your thick skull yet?"

"You're one to talk," Tai muttered, folding his arms behind his head and closing his eyes. "I can't accept it if I refuse to believe it."

"Yeah, yeah." Matt shifted his gaze to stare out at the sunset. His hand lifted and aimlessly searched for Gabumon's head. He'd taken to petting the Digimon's head like this whenever he was deep in thought. The contact kept him grounded; he had no fear of flying away whenever he did this.

"I think it was that summer," Matt finally said, his hand stilling on Gabumon's head. Gabumon looked over at him, immediately understanding his meaning.

"Which summer?" Tai asked. "In case you forgot, there have been many. Nearly ten now."

Matt chuckled wryly. "That summer. Ordinemon."

He didn't have to look to see Tai's eyes turn sad. Matt made it a general rule not to mention Ordinemon in front of his best friend, if only because it reminded him of Nishijima. But he could tell by Tai's silence that he agreed.

Matt murmured, "The seasons kept changing, but we'd already grown up."

They both kind of hated how right the sentiment was.

Sora

"It's alright, my feelings for you will last forever"

Sora sighed at the mess before her. "Biyomon…"

"Sorry, Sora," her partner said meekly, almost shrinking into herself as she refused to meet Sora's eyes.

It was hard to be mad at a Digimon who looked so adorable when remorseful. Sora's mouth quirked up on one side as she crouched down and patted the top of Biyomon's head. "How about you help me clean this up?"

"Okay!" the bird Digimon agreed.

They worked together to clean up the mess Biyomon had accidentally made, humming along to some song they couldn't name as they did so. Despite her occasional clumsiness, Biyomon was quite adept at cleaning up messes. It made Sora thankful to have her around; an extra pair of hands—er, wings—came in handy.

When they were finished, Sora collapsed on a chair. She was suddenly exhausted, and she couldn't really pinpoint why. Maybe she was a tad overwhelmed from all the cleaning she'd done all day, and all the cleaning she had a feeling she'd be doing the rest of the day. Whatever it was, she just needed a moment to sit.

Concerned, Biyomon nervously approached her. "Sora," she began, "you're not mad at me… are you?"

Sora's eyes opened to meet those of her Digimon partner, so wide with worry. "Of course not. What would make you think that?"

"Well… you've just been so tired lately. I thought maybe you'd be mad that I made a mess again…"

"Oh, Biyomon," Sora sighed, folding her Digimon into her arms. "I hope you know I could never stay mad at you. I love you too much."

There was a relieved chirp in her voice as Biyomon said, "And I love you, too, Sora!"

Those three words lifted a good part of the exhaustion from Sora's shoulder.

Izzy

"That fragment of memory I made has disappeared"

Izzy frowned. He lightly placed his fingers on his temple and forehead, trying to pinpoint the sinking feeling in his stomach and the uneasy feeling in his heart. It wasn't a headache, surely, despite him holding his head. And he was fairly sure he didn't have a cold. So what was so wrong?

"What's wrong, Izzy?"

The words weren't coming to him to explain to Tentomon what was wrong. His Digimon buzzed his head, asking him rapid fire questions about his health. He didn't answer any of them, so focused was he on figuring out what was wrong.

"I… forgot."

"Forgot what?" the Digimon asked in surprise.

Looking up at Tentomon, Izzy murmured, "I forgot the first joke of yours I laughed at."

Tentomon landed on the ground and placed a gentle claw on Izzy's lap. "That's it?"

There were tears on his face now, and Izzy had no recollection of shedding them. "It was one of my favorite memories of the time we met."

"Oh, Izzy," Tentomon said fondly, reaching up to pat his cheek. "I'll tell you all the jokes you want."

"I'm sorry," Izzy whispered, leaning forward to wrap his arms around the Digimon. "I didn't want to forget any of that."

"We'll make new memories for as long as we're together," Tentomon reassured him. "That's a promise from Digimon to human."

"Thank you."

Tentomon held Izzy until the pain of losing such a fond memory has faded along with the tears.

Mimi

"I do not want to forget that it happened"

Mimi hummed to herself as she finished stringing the beads on the cord on her desk. Three similar bracelets sat on the right corner of the desk, their beads glinting in the faint sunlight streaming through the window.

"Whatcha doing, Mimi?" Palmon's voice asked from behind her.

"Making bracelets to honor our friends," Mimi declared, sticking her tongue out of the corner of her mouth as she finished the knot to tie the bracelet together. "There. Wizardmon, Pixiemon, Whamon, and Chuumon are done. Leomon is next."

"But Mimi," Palmon asked, peeking her head over the desk. "Why are you making them?"

"Because they sacrificed themselves to help us, all those years ago. I wasn't sure how to honor them until now."

Palmon blinked, still not understanding. "But… many of them were reborn, Mimi."

Her hands stilled for a moment. Her determined face melted into a sad one. "I know, Palmon." She turned to her Digimon partner and gave her a weak smile. "But I don't want to forget what they did for us just because they got a second chance."

"Oh, Mimi," Palmon sighed, wrapping her arms around Mimi's middle. "You have such a big heart."

"It's not much," Mimi admitted, stroking Palmon's flower. "But I want to keep their memory alive somehow. It's the least I can do."

"Then let me help you," Palmon decided, and Mimi smiled and nodded.

By the time they were done, Mimi had an entire rainbow of bracelets dedicated to their fallen comrades.

Joe

"I sincerely want the strength to protect you, too"

Joe woke up once again to a breakfast tray sitting on his nightstand. Gomamon had surely left it for him, as he had been doing for the past week. He'd been pulling constant all-nighters and late study sessions to cram for his exams again. If his Digimon partner hadn't looked so happy to help, he would've felt bad for constantly putting the little guy out.

It was one of those days where he realized just how much he loved his Digimon.

Yawning, Joe ate the breakfast Gomamon had gotten for him, wondering what was the best way to thank him. That was when he heard the crash in the kitchen.

"Gomamon?" he called, racing out of his room to see what the noise was all about.

The seal-like Digimon crawled out from behind the kitchen counter, favoring one flipper-like paw. "I'm alright, Joe. You have studying to do, right?" he asked, trying, and failing, to mask the pain in his voice.

"Let me see," Joe insisted, holding out his hand.

With a sigh, Gomamon handed him his paw, and Joe's face fell when he saw the cut. "Hold on." From the bathroom, he fetched gauze and some medical tape to wrap the wound. "Oh, Gomamon, I'm so sorry. This wouldn't have happened if I wasn't so tired—"

"Joe, stop, this isn't your fault," Gomamon interrupted, staring up at his human partner and meeting Joe's desperate gaze. "I was clumsy. That's not your fault."

"I know, but…" Joe paused in wrapping Gomamon's paw. He whispered, "But I want to be helpful to you, too. Just like you are to me."

"Hey," Gomamon said, and Joe looked down at him again. The Digimon was grinning. "What are partners for, Joe? Is it so wrong for me to take care of you?"

"Only if I never get to return the favor," Joe teased, pulling Gomamon into a hug. "You better not scare me again like that, okay?"

"Sure thing, Joe," Gomamon laughed.

For the rest of the day, Joe carried Gomamon on his back so he wouldn't strain his paw. Gomamon told him it was very "doctorly" of him to do so.

T.K.

"What is important to me is right here"

"T.K.?"

"Hm?" T.K. looked up from his book to Patamon, who was flapping nervously above his head. "What's up, Patamon?"

"Don't you have a date today?" the little Digimon asked, looking very concerned about the shift in what was usually a very hectic social schedule.

A smile spread across T.K.'s face. "I canceled it. I didn't feel like going today."

"Is that okay?"' Patamon landed on the couch beside T.K., placing his front paws on his lap and staring up at him. "Are you sure she won't be mad?"

"I told her I had something more important to do," T.K. said cryptically, looking back down at his book.

"Oh? And what's that?"

Patamon yelped as T.K. suddenly wrapped him up in his arms, pressing his face into the Digimon's back.

"You silly," T.K. laughed good-naturedly. "Spending time with you is more important."

The Digimon blushed a tiny bit. "R-really?"

"Of course. You're my best friend," T.K. said, hugging him tighter. "Now, how about I read to you?"

"Or we can go get ice cream!"

T.K. laughed out loud. "Sure thing, Patamon," he said. "Anything for you."

Later, T.K. would remark that he had much more fun with Patamon than he would have had with anyone else that day.

Kari

"A shadow of the tears you've shed remains"

Gatomon had been silent all day. Kari was used to this from her by now. Some days they would sit in comfortable silence, staring out the window at nothing in particular or watching something nonsensical on the television. It was par for the course at this point in their lives, but that didn't mean that Kari was sometimes concerned about how sad Gatomon would look on these silent days.

To others, the cat Digimon didn't look any different. But Kari could tell from the look in her eyes, from the way she brushed one paw over the other, from the way her tail swished in a particular fashion, that she was sad. And she had a feeling she knew what it was about.

Today had been one of the more silent days. Gatomon had barely acknowledged Kari's presence all day. That's how Kari knew it was one of the bad ones. Normally, she would have left Gatomon alone to not disturb her.

But there were tears running down her partner's face, and she couldn't let them stay there.

Without warning, Kari scooped Gatomon into her arms and embraced her, cradling her as she would the family cat, waiting until the sniffles and warm tears stopped falling onto her shoulder. "Wizardmon," Gatomon mewled at one point, and Kari felt her own eyes prick with tears. Of course. Neither of them had ever truly gotten over it.

"It's okay," Kari murmured, pressing her face into Gatomon's fur. "I'm here."

Yes, it was certainly one of those days. One of those days where they mourned together for the friend who'd given himself for them. A friend who had been there for Gatomon where Kari hadn't yet been.

Yet, as Kari had assured Gatomon multiple times since that day, in the middle of the night after a shared nightmare, she wasn't going anywhere. And she never would, so long as they were together.

#digimon #digiweek2021 #gen writes #digiweek day 3 #digimon drabble #digimon one shots #some of these got angsty sorry a;sljkdf;asjd #i made myself cry as punishment asd;lfjkasd;fa

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withjust-a-bite · 4 years ago

Note

As about the "give me a character thing", Heather and Sierra

Nice choices - okay so Heather

How I feel about this character: Oh my god! I despised Heather the second I got a good taste of her vibe on that dock because she reminded me so much of the reigning “Mean Girls” at my high school, but I also found her fascinating by just how far she’s willing to go with making sure she’s in the good no matter who she has to stomp on. There’s a lot of truth in having an entertaining villain, and Heather certainly didn’t make things boring - no matter how manipulative and underhanded those actions were. Oh and those moments where Karma would come back to bite her in the ass on Island were ridiculously satisfying~✨

All the people I ship romantically with this character: 100% Alejandro - its the love/hate shared respect with a dash of rivalry passion that they have. Neither is honestly a “good person”, but you can clearly see that they honestly care for each other. They keep each other on their toes - its very Mr. & Mrs. Smith.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Courtney or Leshawna or both. Our proud former CIT can easily go toe-to-toe with someone as meticulous as the Queen Bee and let’s not forget that she can be just as merciless when it comes to bending other’s to her will. I don’t think I would say they would ever be best friends or friend like go do our nails and just hang out, but friends in the sense of getting drinks or coffee and having those serious talks about stuff like gossip and venting and they know they can turn to the other when they need a cut and dry no punches held back reality check. Oh these two sure as all hell are not “besties”, but if the show hadn’t scrapped what little progress she and Heather were starting to make at possibly learning to tolerant each other better like they were on Action then I like to think they’d be able to be more civil and dish dirt. Still plenty of fights though, but that’s not uncommon between girls with a whole lot of pride and two very distinct ways of viewing the world.

My unpopular opinion about this character: When fans think Heather is some sort of Master Strategist from the get-go and planned every single move she made on Island... Guys, she’s cunning, manipulative, and the only morals she follows are the ones that solely benefit her. She’s got the looks, brains, and talent to already be given anything she desires on a silver platter just for those traits alone, but Heather has an ego the size of the continent that she so fantasizes of ruling over and an appetite for POWER. Last I checked... That’s pretty typical Popular Alpha Bitch 101 right there. Besides, if she were that level of Strategist then she would have planned way ahead for a number of possibilities like Beth standing up to her or Gwen getting payback for the whole PUBLIC DIARY READING!

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I wish we got to see a bit more of Heather’s vulnerability like during the special in between Island and Action. It really just helps as a reminder that despite everything, she still is a teenager and a human. She may not be the best type of person, but she could be a victim of her own reputation that she’s built as the Queen Bee/Mean Girl and I think that’s something that unfortunately happens to a lot of people where they have to keep..”acting” a certain role. Its essentially pigeonholing yourself.

And now Sierra

How I feel about this character: Not going to lie, but I had mixed feelings about Sierra when we first got introduced to her. A big part of it is because I actually can’t stand people who are so obsessed with anything, and no - I don’t mean “obsessed” in the cutesy sugar-watered way about someone just being so into something that they have this passion for it and all the intricate parts... No, I mean the “obsessed” way as in OBSESSED as in the clear definition where people feel uncomfortable or get tired real quick of being around said individual. I’ve dealt with that before in High School and its where I quickly learned to not share right away the shows or movies I’m into that fall under the category of Animated. ITS! NOT! FUN!!! That and while I admit I did get some amusement at seeing Cody get a taste of his own medicine - you’re a damn liar if you say he wasn’t hella CREEPER in WT with Gwen, she was no angel during that season, but have SOME dignity, Cody 🙄 aim a little higher than scoring for a rebound, dude - Sierra’s..enthusiasm.. was just..whoa. I feel like she knocked Izzy off the Crazy pedestal in that season big time.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Yeah no... no... just no... At least not until the girl gets the proper help she needs first from professionals and does some reflecting and remembers AGAIN that these are PEOPLE, not just cardboard cutouts and posters that you can leer and confess all sorts of worrying and disturbing fantasies to. And even after that, I still wouldn’t ship her with anyone from the show... Maybe some nice S/O that’ll make her feel special and give her the attention and affection she’s been denied for so long.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: I don’t ship them romantically, but I do think the idea of Sierra actually having a friendship with Cody is real cute. That’s why I get salty over what was done on All-Stars to her and even her having that nasty accident on WT right when she’s finally getting it, that Cody is a actual person that has feelings and worries just like she does.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I honestly can’t think of any... Well aside from some hc about Chris possibly being her biological Dad - like wtf? From everything that's mentioned and hinted in canon and her official contestant bio, her life is sad enough so why make it sadder?

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: That she never relapsed the way she did on All-Stars and she’d gotten a chance to really prove herself by her own skills. Sort of a way to prove that she’s a lot more than just a Super Fan, you know?

#total drama #tdi #TD worrisometruths #sierra td #heather td #td heather #total drama island #total drama world tour #vero answers #vero speaks #td sierra #total drama heather #total drama sierra #td aleheather #aleheather

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highfunctioningflailgirl · 4 years ago

Text

My Lethal White episode 1 recap

After having had a lot of fun recapping episode 2, I went back and did episode 1 as well. It got a bit out of hand and is a loooong post...

Under the cut, because, evidently, there will be ALL THE SPOILERS! 🚨

*SQUEEEEE!!!* THEY’RE BACK!!! 🤗💃🏻🙌🏼 (Yes, I’m still squeeing, although this is a rewatch)

Let’s look at the title sequence, shall we? They’ve added a few new details: There’s the wooden cross from the dell, the White Horse of Uffington and Robin’s Houses of Parliament guest pass. The child from Billy’s memories and the pink blanket. Someone’s already mentioned the ‘whore’ swirling in the coffee cup, and then later we have a fencing icon in the pint. Cool hints. 😎

Cut to tired, head-achy Cormoran at the wedding. Strike has a slightly different haircut, and I wonder: they dye Tom’s hair darker for the role, but he has a glint of natural first grey at the temples that I’ve seen on Tom pre-Strike. How did they keep that? (Sorry about the hair kink digression…☺️)

Pet peeve of mine they carried over from Career of Evil: in the book, Donald Laing slashes Strike’s palm, but it didn’t happen in the series. There was no blood on his hand when he called Robin, and his glove was intact. And yet, Strike has his hand bandaged. I know it’s a silly pet peeve of mine, but stuff like that pulls me out of the moment. And Strike wouldn’t slap on a bandage just for a little bruising. *steps off soap box*

“You look beautiful.” - “And you look terrible.” - “It’s this jacket, needs taking in.” 😂

“I want you back.” - “What?” Augh, the double meaning of it all, Strike’s softness and Robin’s initial uncertainty of what he means. 🥺

When she realizes that Matt deleted Strike’s messages, there’s a tear spilling from her eye, and she quickly wipes it away. 😢 Such good acting. Such a brave girl.

A few of us have already addressed this in the chat: did Matt BLOCK Strike, or delete his calls and messages? Or both? They’re frustratingly unclear about this detail, and it makes a difference in terms of Strike being able to reach her or not. (I’m a continuity nerd, sorry)

Sarah standing next to Matthew. *gags*

Robin looks so beautiful! And so very sad. (Holliday is acting her heart out of this season, can’t say it enough). This is award material, hands-down. 🏆

Her look across the room at Cormoran while they’re eating! And he’s… just been staring at her all through the meal? Good god. These two.

If Cormoran falls asleep before dessert he’s got to be really, REALLY tired.☺️ Poor baby.

We’ve got to work on your fine dining skills, Cormoran darling! It’s very cowboy and rugged, handling cutlery like that, but you would SINK during an aristocracy under-cover op. Maybe the Comte de la Fère is available for a lesson?

The first chords of The Calling’s “Wherever you will go”. Ack. They really went for the original, and as someone who’s always been ridiculously in love with that cheesy song, I AM HERE FOR IT.

Cormoran walking slow-mo past the bridesmaids, looking at Robin dancing with Matt The Twat. My heart…💔

When I’m gone you’ll need love to light the shadows on your face… *sniff*

Cormoran’s FACE during the dance. I can’t. He looks like a puppy about to get shot. 🥺

(and what a juxtaposition to the little lady with the funny hat bobbing happily next to him, to everyone looking awww and being completely ignorant of the drama that’s playing out. Ugh. I’m dead.)

Matthew moves like someone who’s (painstakingly) learned exactly one (1) dance, and for their wedding only, and why is he even smiling so proudly? They must’ve just had the biggest row in history? Is he really so full of himself?

Even Robin is smiling, although staring longingly at Strike. I bet they did that so Strike would be a little mad at her and want to walk away.

AND HE DOES! 😟 You can just see the “Fuck this” from the book crossing his face as he turns around and leaves. Ack. I’m dead again.

If I could then I would, I’ll go wherever you will go

(Perfectly placed, kudos) 👏🏼

And she runs after him, looking like a fairy-tale princess. Did you see how frigging COLD it must’ve been, judging by her breath?! Poor Holliday must have been freezing to death during the shoot. And then to pull off such a heartbreaking scene…

(Also, the lawn in the park? A shitload of rolled sods. No grass looks this lusciously green in winter, and you can see the edges everywhere. Some landscaper had a field day there!)

“Are you sure?” - “Yeah. I am.” About WHAT, you idiots?! *wrings hands* To her coming back to work, of course, but there’s so much more to their statements. And I’m sure that non-book-readers thought they were about to kiss and elope, but - alas! - we know that’s not going to happen.😔

But at least we get The Hug™️, and it’s everything we hoped for: Robin crying, digging her fingers into his jacket; Cormoran closing his eyes… God help us, we are all DOOMED sailing this ship! 🙈💔

I was a little miffed upon first watching that they faded out of that hug so quickly. That was it? No, it wasn’t, as we now know, and I love, love, love that we’re getting all these extended flashbacks that reveal more and more of what happened to us!

ONE BLOODY YEAR LATER (I still can’t get over that time jump)

Lol at the subcontractor crashing his moped into the cab! It was only briefly mentioned in the book, and turning it into an actual dialogue was a fun idea.😂

And there’s Denise (that IS her, right?), completely uninterested in doing her job. Good grief - Strike and Robin are BAD a picking employees! 🙈

Robin looking not-jealous-at-all at Strike walking off with Lorelei. Ouch.

I like Lorelei, btw. They chose the actress well, and she’s nice and mature. Which doesn’t mean that I’m not secretly flinching every time she kisses Cormoran. It’s just not right.

Billy. Joseph Quinn does an incredible job playing him. 👏🏼 As dangerous as he appears at first, his despair and his efforts at holding himself together are heartbreaking. That battle he wages against his mental illness is on full display, and his scared big eyes are killing me. 🥺

Cormoran is admirably unfazed by Billy’s appearance - is that his Army training kicking in? Robin, though, is shaking but braving it out, recording with her phone although her hands are trembling. Good acting by Holliday.

Good riddance, Denise.

The good ole’ pencil trick. “I didn’t know people still did this.” 😌

I was surprised that Cormoran chose to simply break into the house on Charlemont road. It’s breaking and entering for no good reason. Could’ve been anybody’s home.

He’s not going to- EWW! He’s sitting down on that filthy couch. And plucking hairs from it. EWW!🤢

Robin: “...and some porn.” 😂 Says it as if it’s what they always find. The usual. Men… 🙄

Who’s the guy taking pictures of Cormoran? I seriously don’t remember this from the b- Oh, WAIT! Reporter guy. Patterson. Yeah. Him.

The CORE members are as cliché in their looks as are Chiswell’s upper class folks. It’s all a bit on the nose for my taste, but then clichés are clichés for a reason.

Cormoran needs to work on his disguises. Not fitting in at all with the CORE crowd, age-wise or in his look. No wonder they don’t trust him. He does it better in the books.

Oh Robin. I actually think you need a lot more therapy to work through your shit.

Ah, here we go. Seaborn bacteria. But first, Matt’s got to be a prick again. 🙄

Chiswell with his arrogance and his rudeness and his finger-snapping. *shakes head* I think if Cormoran hadn’t known he could make some serious money with this case, he may have walked out on him.

Btw, the “large” jacket is making Strike look slimmer instead of bigger. 😄 They’re so desperately mentioning Strike’s largeness, as if beating it over our heads could actually make us not see barely-6-foot and slender Tom Burke.

“Couple more potatoes wouldn’t hurt.” And his FACE! 🥰

Glenister is a really good actor. I always listen to the Strike audiobooks that he narrates, and I was worried hearing his voice in the show would be confusing, but it’s not because he sounds so different. Can’t wait for him reading “Troubled Blood” to me! 🎧

Is it a coincidence that Drummond’s art gallery has a painting of a horse in its front window? I think not.

I love that soft blue shirt they put Cormoran in. Makes him look very huggable. *blushes*

“Not sure I would make a convincing goddaughter either.”😂

So in England you can just walk up to a minister’s house and ring the doorbell without any security people stopping you? Interesting.

Chiswell just shutting the door in Cormoran’s face. RUDE.😠

The brown contact lenses. 👀 Okay, they make her look different, but not THAT different. It’s her sudden posh accent that’s the real stunner.

The panic attacks. Holliday plays them so well, I almost feel like I can’t breathe myself. 😧

I was expecting the Houses of Parliament to look a little less like a stuffy basement full of old junk. *ducks*

Barclay! Definitely looking more attractive than his description in the book. And I thought I’d gotten food at understanding Scottish. I haven’t. *turns subtitles on*

Izzy is the only Chiswell offspring who doesn’t make me want to immediately vomit.

“Venetia. Like the blinds.” Oh God. 🙈

Winn is such a creep. 🤮 Poor Robin. GET AWAY FROM HER YOU LEECH!

Of course Matt doesn’t want Robin to wear the Green Dress. Twat.🙄

The house warming party. I always wonder why Robin doesn’t have friends of her own. I have a feeling Matt has something to do with that.

The earrings. So we will see Robin finding out Matt’s cheating on her! I can’t wait for her to rip him a new one! 😈

Robin calls Cormoran - and it’s not Coco but Lorelei who picks up. That’s a smart change from the book. And it makes her the rebound girl. Which she doesn’t deserve, but it is what it is.

“And she bakes.” 🥴 Is it just me wondering how Lorelei got that cake into the tin without ruining the icing?!

Flashback to The Hug™️. God, their faces are so close. Cormoran is so soft. Nnnnhhhggggg.

Enter the plaid shirt. Lumber!Cormoran is a good look on him! 😍

The Armchair of Sadness™️. Of course that’s where the devastating phone call to Robin’s house happens! The disbelief and disappointment on Cormoran’s face is heart rending. 😢💔

@lulacat3 and I have already established the continuity error with Cormoran’s facial injuries suddenly missing when he’s reached the pub. (And they should still be there; he’s still wearing the plaid shirt from that same evening.) If I were the makeup person I would have been deeply regretful of having missed dabbing fake injuries on Tom’s face again.

The Uffington Horse. Robin’s in appropriate Wellingtons, weather jacket and a beanie for their outing. Cormoran is wearing what he always wears, and Tom clearly wishes he had a beanie. At least he gets to wear a t-shirt under his eternally blue shirts this season. REVOLUTION! 😄

Sure. Let’s just go and dig for a corpse with a shovel so conveniently available! Just the two of them - one delicate Robin and one invalid. And then Robin finds the bones after ten seconds of digging. No further comment. 🙄

But I like the change with Cormoran’s leg. As stupidly heroic as he acted in the book, I like it better in the show where he has to acknowledge his handicap and Robin takes charge.

The bones. Dun-dun-DUN!

(Good first episode, although all in all the pacing wasn’t quite right yet, and compared to the book it all felt a bit rushed. I liked episode two better.)

#lethal white #cormoran strike #lw #lethal white episode 1 #cb strike #bbc strike #spoiler alert 🚨

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half-bakedboy · 4 years ago

Text

Introducing Si-3PO (read on ao3)

For Kinktober Prompt: Stripping A gift for my lovely parabatai, @cor321

Pairing: Simon Lewis/Jace Wayland Rated: Mature Summary: Jace chuckled as he rolled his eyes and said, “C’mon, buddy, I’m not even fully gay and I am appreciating the eye candy we’ve been lucky enough to see tonight!” Alec huffed out a laugh and gestured over his shoulder and Jace had known he was caught when he saw Lydia making conversation with the man he hadn’t been able to look away from the entire night.

Or, stripper Si-3PO gives Alec a lap dance, much to Jace's dismay.

Jace was surprised that out of everyone in his group of friends, he was the one that was least excited to head out to the strip club Magnus had acquired a few weeks prior. He had insisted they spend Alec’s 25th birthday somewhere special - “You only turn a quarter of a century old once, darling” - and apparently that meant with Alec’s face beat red as his husband bought him an unfair amount of lap dances. Not that Jace wasn’t being pampered on his own. He had invited Lydia along and she had made it her life mission to get Jace laid by a man ever since he came out to her accidentally.

His lap was full of a blonde jock who looked strikingly similar to him - Lydia had immediately made a joke about Jace always wanting to fuck himself to which he flipped her off and threatened to tell Izzy she had gotten a dance from one of the dark-haired men on stage - but Jace leaned back to enjoy it the best he could. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy the lap dance, but his eyes kept straying to one of the side stages hoping to catch a glimpse at who he absolutely considered the most attractive man in the room.

The man was shirtless, paler than almost every other dancer on the main stages, and had a spattering of hair in the center of his chest. All of the other dancers seemed to be waxed in places Jace didn’t want to think about, smooth and put together, but none of them had caught his eyes the way that dancer had. His glasses were sliding down his nose and he looked quite ridiculous compared to his coworkers, but he also appeared to be the only dancer genuinely having fun.

Jace tried to keep his focus on the man Lydia had paid to entertain him, but his eyes strayed away once more as the other man raised his arms above his head and thrust his hips with barely any finesse. He bore a slight resemblance to a frat boy who had one too many sips of the punch everyone had known not to drink, but Jace had found it rather charming.

Unfortunately for him, his gaze wandered one too many times, and both Lydia and Alec caught on to what had been distracting him for at least a half hour. What he didn’t see was their shared smirk before Lydia leaned over to Jace to pat his shoulder, gesturing to the bar as if asking him if he needed another drink. Jace figured one more wouldn’t hurt and nodded back at her before his eyes met Alec’s.

“Having fun?” Jace asked as he pushed his hips up to meet the ass of the man sitting on top of him. The dancer turned to swat at Jace’s shoulder playfully before signaling his time was done with a lingering hand down Jace’s arms to collect the money Lydia had left in his hand.

With a wink, the dancer said, “Let me know if you’d like another one, sweetie,” and sauntered back onto the stage Lydia had pulled him from. Jace sent him a small wave before turning to Alec who sipped slowly on the gin martini Magnus had ordered him.

“I don’t know why Magnus always insists on celebrating my birthday in the least fun way,” Alec said with a scoff but not before sending his husband a wide smile from where he stood speaking with who Jace had known to be the manager of the club.

Jace chuckled as he rolled his eyes and said, “C’mon, buddy, I’m not even fully gay and I am appreciating the eye candy we’ve been lucky enough to see tonight!” Alec huffed out a laugh and gestured over his shoulder and Jace had known he was caught when he saw Lydia making conversation with the man he hadn’t been able to look away from the entire night.

The dancer was squatting down so his eye level was even with Lydia’s and Jace felt the urge to look away when they both glanced in his direction. It was a lot harder to do than he had thought, especially because the man was bouncing his ass to the beat of the Diplo song Jace recognized blasting through the speakers. On the plus side, Jace had a better look at the gold shorts that seemed at least two sizes too small that barely covered Simon’s ass. He let out a cackle when he recognized C-3PO staring back at him.

Before he had a chance to appreciate the view, the man jumped off of the stage with a little help from Lydia and she started leading him toward where Jace and Alec sat. Another dancer tossed him a plain white shirt and Jace felt a momentary sadness at not being able to see his chiseled abs before the alarm set in. Jace had never been one to panic when faced with pretty people - in fact, he was the one to walk up to them on most other occasions - but the second the two of them got close enough, he found himself pushing back the urge to run in the opposite direction.

“Alec, Jace,” Lydia started, gesturing to each man as she said their name, “this is Si. Si, I’d like to introduce you to--” She paused and stared at Jace before a sickly smirk crossed her face. She turned both her and Si’s bodies to face Alec and smiled proudly as she said, “Alec. It’s his 25th birthday today so like the best of friends Jace and I are, we decided to take him out to celebrate.”

Si beamed at Alec and Jace had to tamper down the jealousy that flooded through him as he held out his hand. “Well, hi there, Alec. I’m Si. Si-3PO if you want my full name,” Si said with a wink. Jace couldn’t stop the laughter that escaped his lips and he quickly placed his hand over his mouth as Si shot him an offended look.

“That’s clever,” Jace choked out as he grabbed the drink from Lydia’s hand that he had known wasn’t meant for him and downed half of it in three huge gulps. Si raised his eyebrows at Jace before he turned his attention back to Alec.

“It was either that or Han Si-lo, but Si-3PO just rolls off the tongue better, don’t you think?” His tone was clearly flirtatious as he stepped forward and straddled one of Alec’s legs. It would have been amusing to see Alec’s eyes widen at the blatant move, but Jace was too focused on the way the muscles in Si’s thigh flexed at the motion to feel anything but pure envy.

“What are you doing?” Alec asked, his eyes darting to where Magnus had been standing a few moments earlier. Jace had seen him wander to the back with the manager but he was too peeved at Alec at the moment to let him in on that bit of information.

“Your friend here paid quite handsomely for a five-minute lap dance,” Si said as he pulled teasingly at the bottom of his shirt. When he let go, the fabric bounced up enough for Jace to catch a small peek at the dusting of hair underneath his belly button and he pressed his palm into his jeans to remind his dick to stay calm.

“Oh, uh, she did?” Alec stuttered, sending a glare at Lydia who sipped her colorful, umbrella adorned drink with carefully pursed lips as to not ruin her lipstick. She shrugged in response before waving a hand at Si as if to say ‘carry on’ and he decided that meant grinding against Alec’s thigh and pressing their chests together.

Alec held his hands up as if he was suddenly in front of a firing squad when Si wrapped his arms around Alec’s shoulders and pressed his very prominent bulge into Alec’s stomach. Alec had looked more like a deer in headlights than Jace had ever seen him so he decided to focus on that instead of the back muscles that suddenly came into view when Si slowly pulled his shirt up to his neck.

“You can do the rest, can’t you, big boy?” Si teased, stroking a finger up Alec’s chest slowly before booping his nose gently. Jace could practically see Alec’s panic rising as he grabbed the shirt around Si’s neck and threw it in Jace’s direction. All of a sudden Jace’s senses were overwhelmed with the surprising scent of caramel popcorn as Si’s shirt covered his face. He knew he should have thrown it back or even let it fall to the floor, but Jace clutched it with white knuckles as Si turned and pressed his ass into Alec’s lap.

“Oh my god,” Alec choked out and Jace couldn’t be sure but through the pained sound, he thought he heard a small whimper.

“You know, he has a husband,” Jace said angrily as he stood. Si seemed unperturbed by the new information and circled his hips so he sat more comfortably in Alec’s lap. Si reached back and slid his fingers seductively down the length of Alec’s arms before lacing their fingers together and pulling Alec flush against his back. He pressed Alec’s palms flat against his now bare chest and slid them down his rippling abs until they rested on his inner thighs.

“Is his husband as uptight as you seem to be?” Si responded, sending the most attractive glare Jace had ever seen in his direction. Alec apparently couldn’t hold back his laughter as his chest shook and Si must have taken that as the go-ahead to lean back into him and thread one hand through his hair. Before Alec could stop him, Si kicked up his feet and spread them until his muscular thighs could press Alec’s legs together. Si leaned forward so his chest rested across the table-like thighs in front of him and wiggled his ass dangerously close to Alec’s shocked face.

Jace was too focused on the way the gold spandex stretched perfectly across Si’s gorgeous ass to let the insult fully register in his mind. It wasn’t until he saw a flash of light in his peripheral vision that he realized he was staring at his best friend and the dancer with what was probably drool trickling out of the corner of his mouth.

“My, my, Alexander, I leave for ten minutes and you find yourself a dancer?” Magnus’ smooth voice seemed to break everyone out of their focus as Si straightened up, settling on Alec’s lap as if he belonged there.

“Magnus! This is your husband?” Si said with such brightness in his voice, Jace had almost forgotten that he had just been riding Alec like a god damn horse moments earlier. He glared at Magnus as he gestured to the two men because Magnus should definitely be angrier than the smirk on his lips made him seem.

“Yes, Stewart, the man you’ve successfully turned into a tomato is my darling dearest,” Magnus said as Si - Stewart? - slid off of Alec’s lap and turned to Magnus, holding out his hand as if meeting a business partner. Jace considered that thought before realizing that was kind of exactly what they were. He also reminded himself at that moment that Alec was married and Si was being paid to give him a lap dance and the jealousy surging through him was a little more than pathetic.

“He was very appropriate, boss. He didn’t even try to cop a feel when he took off my shirt,” Si said seriously before turning to Jace. Jace had known he probably looked similar to Alec in wide-eyed panic as Si reached a hand out to him. Jace stared down at it before his eyes darted back up to Si’s in confusion.

“You already introduced yourself,” Jace said lamely because he sure as hell wasn’t touching Si after seeing his hips move as perfectly as they had just moments before. Si smirked and glanced down at the shirt Jace was using to cover the erection that had formed entirely too quickly in his jeans and Jace closed his eyes in embarrassment when he realized what Si was asking for.

“You know, if you have a problem, we have rooms in the back for that. Ten minutes for fifty bucks,” Si offered as he reached for his shirt, pushing it teasingly against the obvious hardness Jace was failing to hide. Jace let out a breathless moan at the small bit of contact before glaring over at his friends who were giggling next to him.

“You wish,” Jace replied, but the heat he had been trying to lace into his tone was simmered as Si ran a hand across his shoulders and down his chest, resting his palm flat to Jace’s rapidly beating heart.

“Or,” Si offered, trailing his hand up to nudge at Jace’s jaw that had almost found its way to the floor, “my shift is over in two hours and you can pretend to glare at me as I give you the same treatment as your friend.”

Jace had never agreed to an idea faster.

#jimon #jimon fic #jace wayland #simon lewis #jace x simon #simon x jace #i wanna tag this as silec #because honestly its more silec than jimon askldjfla;sd #but jimon is endgame as always #my writing #ems kinktober 2020

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visander · 4 years ago

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Working Through It | Ao3

Magnus’ ability had caused problems in every single relationship Magnus had ever had and he had no clue why he expected his relationship with his boyfriends to be any different.

Magnus is a mind reader and sometimes that causes problems.

Magnus’ ability had caused problems in every single relationship Magnus had ever had and he had no clue why he expected his relationship with his boyfriends to be any different. Maybe, he hadn’t expected it because of how easily Jace accepted what Magnus could do. Jace, like Magnus, had an ability that he struggled to control. So, maybe that’s why he was so accepting of it every time Magnus popped into his head and heard what he was thinking.

Jace was a pretty open person anyway. He didn’t feel violated when Magnus would hear what he was thinking about because most of the time, it was nothing he wouldn’t say out loud anyway. Even when they fought, Jace wasn’t upset when Magnus let his emotions get to him and he slipped into his thoughts on accident. To Jace, it was almost easier. If Magnus was reading his thoughts, then he simply didn’t need to say it out loud.

Besides, Jace understood what it felt like to lose control like that. Jace’s power was less invasive than Magnus’ but he still affected people by accident. Jace was an empath. He could feel what other people felt but when he was excited or sad or any other extreme emotion, he made people around him feel what he was feeling. Alec was always okay with that. He didn’t mind when Jace lost control and forced his emotions on Alec because Jace’ power revealed more about himself than it did about other people. It wasn’t like Magnus reading people’s most private thoughts without their permission.

But Magnus couldn’t control it either. Alec didn’t like it when Magnus read his thoughts but Magnus never did it on purpose. He respected Alec’s wishes and he’d never do it on purpose but when he was upset or if Alec was upset, it was so hard not to. When Alec was upset, his thoughts were just so loud and if Magnus was upset, he completely lost control of his powers. He’d read every thought in Alec’s head without meaning to and he couldn’t stop himself until he calmed down again and he got away from Alec completely.

Magnus understood why Alec didn’t like it but he didn’t understand why Alec was so mad at him about it. He couldn’t control it any better than Jace could control his powers and it wasn’t like Magnus wasn’t trying. He was working on it. He was trying to learn to control himself better but it was just so hard.

Besides, Alec didn’t have any power. He didn’t understand how it felt to be able to do something to other people that you couldn't control. He didn’t understand how hard it was to live in a city with so many people thinking all the time. He didn’t understand how it felt to have someone else's thoughts so close to you that if you relaxed at all, you could hear them but Jace did.

Or well, Jace could feel how frustrated Magnus got sometimes. He could feel how Magnus felt the morning after he and Alec’s big fight, in which Magnus had read Alec’s mind on accident and yelled at him about something he’d thought. He could also feel how angry Alec was that next morning, when he’d gotten up and slammed things around in the kitchen as he cooked breakfast.

It must have been a great morning for Jace, being able to feel them both so intensely but when Jace woke up, he didn’t show it. He walked out of the bedroom and made his way over to where Magnus was sitting, pretending to do work on his laptop so he could avoid the kitchen where Alec was without seeming like he was doing it.

Magnus normally sat with Alec while he cooked breakfast. Jace normally slept in, so it had become their routine but today, Magnus could tell he’d be unwelcome. That or they’d start fighting again, which Magnus did not feel like doing.

Jace leaned in and pressed a sleepy kiss against Magnus’ cheek. Instantly, Magnus felt a small burst of pleasure that he knew was not his own. Jace was never great at controlling himself in the morning when he was still tired. Bitterly, Magnus thought to himself that he wasn’t upset at what Jace had done but in the rational part of his brain, he knew it was a little different.

Jace mumbled a good morning before he was making his way to the kitchen, where Magnus overheard him going through the same routine with Alec, who only hummed in response. Alec wasn’t mad at Jace but that’s just how he was when he was upset. He shut himself off to the world.

It was a few minutes later that Jace reemerged from the kitchen, carrying two plates in his hands. Magnus knew that Alec had handed Jace his plate because he hadn’t wanted to go give it to him. Magnus was both upset about that and a little relieved, until Jace put their plates down, told Magnus to put his laptop away and called for Alec to come eat with them, like nothing was wrong at all.

There were a few moments of silence after Jace said it. It was clear Alec hadn’t intended to eat anywhere near them or more specifically, anywhere near Magnus but after a few seconds, Alec appeared in the doorway and made his way to the table, where he put his own plate down and stiffly took a seat.

Magnus always loved breakfast with his boyfriends. Ever since they’d gotten together, breakfast had been a time they’d spend together, regardless of how busy they’d be for the rest of the day but today, Magnus found himself wishing he had some convenient excuse to eat his food as quickly as possible and leave but he didn’t.

Alec and Jace both knew Magnus had the entire day free. They all also knew that Alec had nowhere to be and Jace’s only plans for the day was going to the gym later. Maybe, if Alec didn’t go with him Magnus could go and pretend it wasn’t to avoid being alone with Alec but he knew they’d all know that’s why he’d gone. Magnus didn’t like working out at the gym. There were too many people there. All the thoughts gave Magnus a headache and he preferred yoga anyway.

Still, if this was how the rest of the day was going to go, Magnus would rather be anywhere else. The tension in the air was practically suffocating but Jace acted like everything was fine anyway. Jace thanked Alec for cooking, something Magnus mumbled after him, and then he went on talking about something Izzy had told him the day before. He rambled like Alec wasn’t stabbing his fork into his plate hard enough that Magnus was scared he’d break it and then, after they’d all finished eating, Jace took their plates and announced he’d go wash them and then be right back.

Magnus could have stood up and left but it was clear that Jace had meant to leave them both alone on purpose and it was clear he said he’d be back to make sure they didn’t leave. Alec didn’t get up, so Magnus felt like he couldn’t either but that didn’t mean he didn’t have the urge to jump and flee the moment Jace left the room.

It was clear Alec wasn’t planning on speaking to him and Magnus didn’t know what to say to start the conversation himself. Magnus was equally as upset that Alec blamed him for something he couldn’t control and upset at himself because he understood why Alec was upset.

Magnus hadn’t meant to read his mind. He couldn’t control that but he could control how he reacted. He knew shouldn’t have said anything about what Alec had thought, even if it upset him. He should have just left but he hadn’t and now, he was sitting at a table across from his boyfriend who he’d never really fought with, feeling like he was going to choke on the silence around them.

Magnus had just been hoping to sit silently until Jace came back but he surprised himself because after so long of sitting there, Magnus couldn’t take it anymore. He felt like he’d be willing to spit anything out if it just made this horribly tense moment go away.

In the end, what Magnus spit out was what he probably should have just said in the first place. It was an apology, even rushed and behind forceful lips. “I’m sorry,” he said, his hands twisting together on the table. His words sounded like they were coming more from anger than remorse but Magnus couldn’t make himself say it any better. It was hard to force himself to say it at all. Tone certainly wasn’t on the top of Magnus’ priority list but still, Magnus cringed after he spoke, not even looking up to see if Alec reacted. He wouldn’t blame Alec for not forgiving him, if he was going to say it like that.

For a few long moments, it almost seemed like Alec wasn’t going to say anything at all but finally, Magnus heard Alec shift and then, he spoke stiffly, “For?”

Magnus swallowed, digging his fingernail into his thumb. “I shouldn’t have said anything about what you thought,” Magnus forced out. “I’m not sorry I read your mind," he snapped after a beat of silence. He wouldn't apologize for something he hadn't done on purpose. “I can’t control it but I-” Magnus twisted his hands in lap a little more, leaving his skin red where he was touching himself. “I shouldn’t have said anything about it and I should have told you I couldn’t control myself.”

Magnus could feel Alec looking at him across the table but he couldn’t force himself to look up. “Yes, you should have,” Alec said at last, not sounding like he forgave Magnus exactly but sounding like he was listening at the very least.

Magnus took a deep breath and finally looked up, frowning as he looked Alec in the eyes for the first time since the day before. He’d been doing his best to avoid him completely for hours. “I’m sorry, Alec,” he said again, something a bit more honest and desperate in his voice this time. “I didn’t mean to invade your privacy.”

Across from him, Alec took in a slow breath. He shifted, looking as if he was thinking hard about exactly what he wanted to say. “I know you can’t control it all the time, Magnus,” Alec said finally. He did know. It was something they talked about a lot. It was something that disrupted Magnus’ life a lot. It was something that disrupted their collective life together. Alec knew how hard it was for Magnus to live when he couldn’t relax without hearing what everyone around him was thinking. He knew Magnus didn’t mean to do it and he knew that Magnus’ past partners had been less than understanding about it but that didn’t mean Alec didn’t deserve privacy in his own head.

“I know you’re going to read my mind sometimes and when you slip and do it on accident, it’s okay but when we’re fighting-” Alec broke off, taking another deep breath. “You need to tell me when that slip happens, so we can stop and keep talking when you calm down. You can’t read my mind when we’re fighting and yell at me about what I think.”

Magnus flinched, nodding instantly. “I know,” he said finally. “I’m sorry. I’ll tell you next time.”

They both fell silent for a few long moments and then, Magnus heard Alec rising from his chair and walking around the table. Magnus looked up and watched him, frowning as Alec came and crouched next to Magnus, gently taking Magnus’ hands into his own and he stared up at him.

“I love you, Magnus,” Alec said, squeezing Magnus’ hands softly. “I’m never going to be mad at you about what you can’t control but you just have to tell me, okay?”

Magnus nodded and almost instantly, Alec was moving to wrap his arms around Magnus and pull him tight against his neck. Magnus went bonelessly, curling into Alec’s touch. Instantly, Magnus felt his chest hiccup and his eyes filled with tears. He didn’t want to cry. He didn’t like crying especially so easily, especially when he was trying to apologize to Alec but he couldn’t help himself.

He was just so scared that Alec was going to get sick of dealing with him. He was so scared he’d leave and force Jace to decide between them and choose who he’d rather go with. He was so scared that Jace wouldn’t choose him and then, Magnus would be entirely alone again.

As if he was reading Magnus’ thoughts, Alec murmured, “I’m not going to leave, Magnus. We just need to work on this, okay?” Alec’s hand up and then down Magnus’ back, making Magnus’ breath shutter even more.

Magnus curled tighter against Alec’s neck and then, he heard Alec’s thoughts fluttering against his own, drifting into his head like they belonged there. Magnus didn’t even hear anything. He just felt the feeling of Alec’s thoughts in his head and then, he was pushing gently against Alec’s chest. “I can hear you,” Magnus said, trying to push Alec away again.

Alec did nothing but tighten his grip. “It’s okay,” he murmured. “Listen.”

Magnus relaxed somewhat with the permission, his back still stiff, his hands clenched in Alec’s shirt. “I love you,” Magnus heard Alec say, not out loud. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Magnus relaxed into Alec’s skin completely but it was only a few moments later that Magnus felt something else, a small burst of happiness that had certainly not come from him. When Magnus pulled away from Alec and looked up, he found Jace standing there, grinning at the sight of him and Alec embracing.

Instantly, Alec rolled his eyes and let go of Magnus as he moved to stand. Their moment was thoroughly interrupted and ruined but the air was light and happy all of a sudden, something it hadn’t been since the day before.

“I’m glad you made up,” Jace said, as if it wasn’t incredibly obvious to them both exactly how Jace felt about it. Jace ducked forward to press a kiss against Magnus’ lips and then Alec’s, leaving another small burst of his feeling as he did so, making Magnus laugh and Alec smile.

It wasn’t always easy dealing with Magnus’ ability but at the very least, Magnus knew that Alec wasn’t going to get sick of him and leave because it, like some others in his life had. He knew that Alec and Jace would be there even if he fucked up and maybe, someday Magnus would even have a disagreement with them and still remember that.

Magnus rose to his feet and let Jace drag him into the living room, with Alec following behind them, listening to Jace insist they had to watch a movie together before their day off was lost completely. Magnus didn’t really have any complaints about that. He was just happy he hadn’t managed to destroy one of the best things he had in his life, at least not yet.

Jace skipped the gym. They spent the rest of the day watching bad movies, listening to Alec complain about how bad they were and Jace argue that they weren’t that horrible and Magnus really wouldn’t have it any other way.

#shadowhunters #Malace #posting my work even though it's a rarepair and no one will care here wooo #tsc #mind reading Magnus bane #Empath Jace Herondale #Mundane Alec Lightwood #my writing

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theycallmebeccawrites · 5 years ago

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Chris & Ellie Series: Episode 20

Hey lovelies! No, you aren’t imagining things... I really am updating this series. C&E have been on my mind a lot lately and I’m working hard to get this stuff out to you guys.. but bear with me. This story is only about half way finished...

Stay safe ♥ Becca

Shout out to my kick ass friends who helped me out with this one @nomadicpixel @heather-lynn @alievans007 @mrs-captain-evans

Pairing: Chris Evans x Ellie Spencer (OFC)

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Relationship drama

Episode Summary: This episode takes place in May 2014 as Ellie finally opens up to someone about what happened between her and Chris.

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

This episode can also be read on AO3.

The Chris & Ellie Series Masterlist | Chris & Ellie Masterlist

Episode 19.5

Episode 20: Mending Fences

Mid May 2014

Scott frowned as he watched Ellie walk out the backdoor with Daisy shuffling behind her. It had been a month since the disastrous fallout and his friend was a ghost of her former self.

"You're worried about her," his friend Pierre's voice said from behind him.

Scott nodded his head as he turned around. He didn't necessarily feel right about talking about Ellie and Chris's breakup, but at the same time, Pierre was a psychologist and he'd helped Scott through things before.

Maybe the fact that Pierre had needed a place to stay while his condo's kitchen was being redone was a sign. Pierre had been with them for a few days now and he and Ellie had hit it off really well. Especially since Pierre loved to cook and had been taking on that chore while he was there so Ellie wouldn't have to.

"She went through a breakup recently," Scott explained, watching his words carefully. "It was a mutual friend and she doesn't want me to be caught in the middle any more than I already am."

Pierre raised a well-manicured eyebrow and asked, "More than you already are?"

"I was inadvertently the one who told her it was over between them, at least in her eyes," Scott confessed.

Pierre made an 'oh' face and went back to loading the dishwasher. In the few days he'd known Ellie, he'd noticed how quiet she was. There had been brief glimpses of a happier, more vivacious personality, but she'd mostly seemed withdrawn.

"Do you know if she has talked to anyone about what happened?" Pierre asked Scott. "A friend or a professional?"

"I don't know for sure, but I don't think so," Scott replied. "I'm good friends with one of her sisters, too, and I haven't heard from her about the breakup and I'm certain I would if she knew."

"And she won't talk to you at all about it?" Pierre asked and Scott nodded. "Do you think she'd talk to me? Not in a professional capacity, just here in the house."

"She knows you're a psychologist," Scott stated. "I know she won't seek you out and ask to talk. But maybe, if you went to her and started the conversation?"

"I'll try," Pierre promised Scott. "If she won't talk to me, maybe I can at least encourage her to talk to someone she trusts."

Two nights later, the opportunity for Pierre to speak privately with Ellie presented itself when they were cooking dinner together. He'd gotten more glimpses of the woman behind the sadness as they'd collaborated and now the main course was in the oven.

As he opened his mouth to broach the subject, Ellie's phone rang and he listened to her side of the conversation with Scott.

"He's going to be late," she relayed the message after hanging up. "There's an accident and he's stuck smack dab in the middle of it."

Seeing his opening, Pierre took it. "He's worried about you, you know," he stated.

He expected Ellie to play coy, but she nodded solemnly and said, "I know."

"He wants to help."

Ellie frowned to herself as she opened the fridge, stalling for time as she tried to decide how to respond to Pierre. She’d had an inkling that he was going to seek her out from the moment Scott had asked if it was ok for his friend, a shrink, to crash with them for a couple weeks. It all seemed too coincidental.

Turning around, she looked at Pierre and asked, “Is your kitchen really being remodeled? Or is this all something that Scott cooked up to get me to talk to someone?”

Pierre chuckled and answered, “it’s really being remodeled. Or rather, it had to be gutted completely after the kitchen in the condo above me flooded and ruined my place.” Ellie’s response was a shocked ‘oh’ face. “I will admit that Scott did ask me to talk to you, but only the other night when I saw how worried he was about you.” He also appreciated the fact that she seemed like a straight forward, what you see is what you get, type of person. It was a refreshing break from the normal, wannabe famous, LA crowd.

Taking that into account, Ellie nodded her head and asked one more question. “You won’t tell him what I say, right? It'll stay between us?”

“Of course,” Pierre assured her. “I know you want to protect the relationship between Scott and his friend. Nothing you tell me will be repeated, unless you tell me otherwise.”

Ellie nodded again and pulled out a bottle of wine. “I think I’m going to need this,” she said and then, as if worried about what he might think, added, “I don’t drink a lot. There’s just a lot to unravel…”

“I understand,” Pierre assured her with a smile. “Why don’t you sit down and talk while I put together the salad.”

Resisting the urge to nod her head again for fear of being mistaken as a bobble head, Ellie grabbed a wine glass from the cupboard and then sat down at the breakfast bar.

After pouring herself a glass of wine, she leaned back in her seat and wondered where to even begin. She wasn’t sure how much Scott had told Pierre and she wasn’t sure how much she wanted him to know. He might be a professional in helping people with their problems, but that wouldn’t make her feel any less heartbroken or foolish.

Foolish.

That was the key source of her pain, she knew. She’d had her heart broken before, though never as badly as Chris had left it. But it was the shame of feeling foolish that had kept her from speaking about what had happened between her and Chris. At least it had been after Chris’s text to Scott.

Before that, she had just been confused and hurt, but hopeful at the same time. She’d naively thought he’d contact her in some way, that they’d get through this rough patch and be better for it.

But Chris had messaged Scott and then she’d had to accept that whatever had been between them was over and done with.

Around that same time, Phoenix had told her that she was pregnant with her second baby, Izzy had gotten her first big case and Riley had accepted an internship that kept her busy. Knowing that they were all busy with good things in their lives, Ellie hadn’t wanted to bring them down or have them feel sorry for her.

And then there was Sydney. Ellie hadn’t spoken to her older sister since the night of their argument in the restaurant. At first because she was just mad at Sydney and then because she hadn’t wanted to hear I told you so.

“And now?” Pierre asked. “How do you feel about your sister now?”

Ellie stared down into her empty wine glass as she realized her train of thought had become a verbal word vomit without her realizing it. Instead of feeling embarrassed, she felt a surprising amount of relief from getting everything that had been circling her mind out in the open.

“Now? I miss her,” she admitted, looking up. “Do you have siblings?”

“Two older brothers,” Pierre replied.

“So you know how much older siblings can be a pain in the ass then,” Ellie said with a small smile and Pierre nodded. “Sydney is almost three years older than me. We were close when we were little and then she became a know-it-all for like ten years. Then she became normal again, for the most part, but she has her moments.

“We’ve gotten along really well during the last ten years, to the point that I’d count all three of my sisters as my best friends. But then a couple months ago, she met Chris and I thought she liked him. But then she took on her holier than thou persona about my situation, specifically that I was living with him, and it just pissed me off.

“Turns out she knew better than I did,” Ellie sighed as she poured herself another glass of wine. “She was right. About the entire situation.”

“Is that why you feel foolish?” He prompted.

“That and the fact that I let myself get so caught up with how I was feeling that I just trusted everything Chris told me and now look at me,” she replied with a bitter laugh. “I’m single and living in my ex’s house with no place to go. And I work for him, too. So not only is my housing attached to him, but my livelihood, too.” She took in a shaky breath. “Just like my sister predicted.”

Trying to get her emotions in control, Ellie paused and reached out to pick at the label on the wine bottle.

Sensing she needed a moment, Pierre stayed quiet as he waited for her to continue.

“The real kicker of it all?” She said, looking up at Pierre. “Is that the one person I want to talk to the most about this whole fucking mess is the one person I can’t talk to, my big sister.”

“Why can’t you talk to her?” Pierre asked. “Did she change her number? Write you off?”

Ellie shook her head and said, “I was worse than mean to her the last time we spoke. I was awful to her and -”

“She was awful to you, too,” Pierre interrupted. “And if you’re as close as you say, it’s likely she is tearing herself up about this situation, too. You won’t know unless you reach out to her.”

Silence fell between them. Eventually, Ellie admitted, “I’m scared. I know once I tell them what’s going, it'll be really over between me and Chris...”

“Breakups are never easy,” Pierre said, compassionately. “But that’s when you need to surround yourself with the people who love you the most. The people that have your back regardless of whether you think you deserve it or not.”

By the time he finished talking, Ellie had tears rolling down her cheeks. “You must be good at your job,” she said in a weak attempt at lightening the mood.

“I’ve always loved helping people,” he replied with a smile as they heard the rumbling of the garage door, announcing Scott’s arrival.

Ellie excused herself to the bathroom and was still gone when Scott came into the house. He met Pierre’s eyes and the latter nodded his head as the oven timer buzzed.

When Ellie came back into the kitchen, Scott was pouring wine into glasses for all three of them. Crossing the room, she wrapped her friend in a hug from behind and whispered, “I’ll be ok, I promise.”

-----

It took Ellie a couple days to work up the courage to text Sydney, but she finally did it on Friday morning. She went back and forth on what to say, but ultimately decided not to beat around the bush.

Turns out you were right all along.

Chris and I broke up.

She hit send and stared at the phone for a minute before she tossed it down on the bed and went into the bathroom to take a shower. She was still in the process of getting ready to get into the shower when her phone rang.

Her stomach flipped when she saw Sydney's name on the screen and she had to fight back her nerves as she answered it, "Hello?"

"Oh, Ellie!" her sister's voice, thick with emotion, echoed through the phone.

Ellie felt tears in her eyes as her sister talked, expressing her sorrow and being the compassionate older sister that she knew and loved.

"I didn't want to be right, you know?" Sydney said, softly. "I didn't want you to get hurt."

"I know," Ellie assured her as she sat down on her bed. "But it happened and there isn't anything we can do about that now."

"Maybe not, but maybe I can help in a different way," Sydney told her. "I'm here, in LA for a conference. I have to present some stuff tomorrow afternoon, but I have a hotel room and I don't leave here until Monday."

"You're in LA, right now?" Ellie repeated in disbelief.

"I am," Sydney confirmed. "And I'm about twenty minutes or so from your house. I was going to try and surprise you. I wasn't sure you'd answer your phone if I called."

"Of course I would have answered," Ellie said, softly. "You might annoy me sometimes, but you're my big sister and I love you."

"I love you, too," Sydney replied. "But I know we have a lot to talk about and a lot of stuff to work out between us. I was hoping we could spend the weekend together. Unless you have to work?"

"I have the weekend off," Ellie told her. "I'll be ready when you get here." Then she remembered she needed to take a shower. "Or almost ready. I'll call Scott and let him know that you're on your way and to let you in."

The two said goodbye and then Ellie called Scott, letting him know that Sydney was on her way and asking if he'd let her in. He agreed and offered to take care of Daisy for the weekend as well.

After taking as quick a shower as possible, Ellie threw some clothes into a small suitcase and gathered Daisy's stuff before leading her dog out of the guesthouse. After a potty stop for Daisy, they made their way up the stairs to the kitchen entrance and where Ellie left the dog's toys and bed.

Hearing voices in the living room, Ellie made her way there and paused in the doorway when she saw her sister and Scott sitting in there waiting for her. Letting go of her suitcase, Ellie made her way to her sister, tears rapidly filling her eyes, and met her sister halfway. For the first time since Chris had walked out of her life, Ellie let herself weep as her sister held on to her.

Scott felt himself tearing up as he watched the two sisters embrace, Ellie crying and Sydney soothing her the best she could. He'd filled Sydney in on what he could while they'd been waiting for Ellie to appear and she had appeared both broken-hearted for her sister but also abashed for what she had put her sister through. Then Ellie had come in and he'd seen in Sydney what he knew his older sister did when situations called for it, she became the heroic big sister that was needed.

He hadn't believed Ellie completely the other day when she'd told him that she'd be alright, but now, seeing her with her sister, he knew she would be. It wouldn't be overnight by any means, but her sisters would make sure she recovered from her broken heart.

Excusing himself from the room, he headed upstairs. Now that Ellie was talking and on her way to recovering from everything, he needed to try and focus on helping his brother. He would still be there for Ellie, of course, she was one of his best friends in the entire world. But so was his brother and he wouldn't give up on him ever. No matter how stupid Chris was acting.

Episode 20.5

Want to find me off tumblr? I'm @beccatheycallme on twitter. I also post my stories on AO3.

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#chris evans #chris evans fanfic #chris and ellie series #theycallmebecca #chris and ellie #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x ofc #chris evans fan fiction #chris evas x original character #friends to lovers #theycallmebeccawrites

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wordsofwhisper · 3 years ago

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fic: doom days (2)

A ‘ALL THIS BAD BLOOD’ SEQUAL! (You can read that one here)

It’s been eight years since the house burned down. Adrian, Arthur, Zane, and Isobel have packed up the pieces of their lives again. Adrian and Arthur continue to struggle and thrive as a couple, figuring out how to make each other happy while their past is still haunting them. Zane is in office after the fall of the government, but it’s not as easy to change age-old rules that some aren’t ready to let go of yet, as for some there is a lot more at stake than others. And Isobel is turning sixteen, which means her soulmate connection could finally happen…

This is Izzy’s three-chapter story!

Previously: chapter 1

Do you remember what you said to me?

'Cause we lost track of time

Izzy felt tired when she woke up, only to realise that she had fallen asleep in her day clothes. She had hoped last night was just a bad dream, but it wasn’t. Her best friend Jack, who was also her secret boyfriend, was not her soulmate. She didn’t feel like celebrating her birthday now.

After a long shower, until she stopped crying again, she got dressed and headed downstairs. No doubt would her father and uncle be waiting for her to wish her a happy birthday. Sixteen was a big deal, which was why she had wanted to celebrate it with a big party, but now she didn’t want to party at all.

She followed the scent of waffles, her favourite kind of breakfast, which came from the kitchen. She tried to smile as she walked in to see her uncle, but smiling was hard at the moment.

Adrian turned around to face her. Seeing him smile so happily upon seeing her made her smile a little brighter. “Happy birthday, Izzy!” He came over and gave her a hug before he quickly moved back to check on the waffles. “I’m making your favourite breakfast.”

“Blueberry waffles?”

Adrian hummed. “It’s a special day today. Your father has left early to go to the office. Something about an emergency meeting, but he promised to be back in time for your party. You just missed him.”

Izzy didn’t answer as she sat down at the table. This immediately seemed to draw Adrian’s attention as he dished the blueberry waffles onto a plate and placed it in front of Izzy, but a worried look was masking his face.

“What’s wrong, Izzy?”

She looked up. “Will you tell me how it felt for you when you first met uncle Arthur? When you realised he was your soulmate. Please, Adrian?” Her voice was soft.

“Again?” But there was a smile on Adrian’s face as he sat down with her after grabbing his mug of tea from the counter. “I wasn’t aware of it at first. Not because I didn’t feel it, but because I didn’t know what it meant. It was like this sudden warmth fell over me, like someone had wrapped me in a blanket. It felt safe and comfortable, but also frightening.

“Do you remember me asking you about soulmates?” Adrian asked, and Izzy nodded. “You helped me a lot to understand what it meant that day. But how it feels like for me, it can feel different for you.”

Izzy remained quiet.

“Did something happen?”

Izzy hadn’t touched her waffles at all yet, but she looked up, a slight blush on her cheeks as she quickly shook her head. “No! Nothing happened. Why would something happen?” Nobody knew yet she even had a boyfriend and now they wouldn’t find out either as she and Jack were definitely going to break up. He would find his soulmate and Izzy would just be another girl in his past.

A past time.

Before Adrian could ask more, the doorbell rang. Saved by the bell. He stood up and left the kitchen to open the door. Izzy was just staring down at her waffles, her fork trying to squeeze one of the blueberries that kept popping away. Only when her stomach started to growl, she finally picked up the knife and cut into the waffles to eat.

It was only when the voices came closer that she realised who was at the door.

“Happy birthday, Isobel.”

Madeleine, her father’s fiancée, came walking into the kitchen, followed by Adrian who was filling a mug with the freshly made tea from the pot before putting it down in front of the woman. She was still beautiful with her long golden blonde hair, which was neatly wrapped at the back of her head.

“Thank you.” Izzy was done with the waffles as she put the cutlery down on the empty place. She had devoured those waffles.

She liked her a lot. Madeleine was nice and beautiful, and she made her father really happy. He deserved that after being hurt for so long.

“Are you ready for our fun girls’ day?” There was a friendly smile on her face. It was clear that she had been looking forward to spending time alone with Izzy, as much as Izzy had been looking forward to it as well. Even if she had forgotten it for a little bit at that moment.

They were going shopping for a dress before they were going to get their hair and nails done for her party later. Maybe she would even get some new shoes. All she knew was that her father wanted her to look the prettiest and get whatever she wanted. A week ago, it was the best gift ever.

Today?

She wished Jack was her soulmate instead.

Izzy really tried to have fun and enjoy herself with Madeleine, but it was difficult. After leaving the house and they drove into town, she did get distracted for a little bit when they walked into the boutique and Madeleine made her try on all the prettiest─and probably most expensive─dresses they had, before she fell in love with an off-the-shoulders lilac coloured, knee height dress with a tulle bottom. They found a pair of beautiful similar coloured block heels for underneath her dress and the outfit was completed with a flower tiara.

Once they were inside the salon after lunch, getting their nails done, was when Izzy’s mind started to drift off again. It was because she didn’t have the beautiful dresses to distract her again. Because she was sitting in the chair, relaxed, while someone else was taking care of her. Her mind easily slipped back to last night and a somber look fell over her once more.

“Are you going to tell me why you’ve been looking so sad all day long or am I supposed to start guessing?”

Izzy didn’t know where to even begin. Even if Madeleine had been there since she was eight years old, she wasn’t too close with her. As much as she liked her, she didn’t know how to connect with her. But she didn’t want to talk to her father about what was happening now either, or Adrian or Uncle Arthur for that matter. They might understand it the most, but they were boys.

Thinking about it, Madeleine had done a lot for her in the past as well. When her breasts started to grow and her body started to change, she explained it to her and even went to get her first bra. When she got her first period, she had been really nice and explained everything before they had curled up together, eating all the chocolate until they were nauseous.

“Is it a boy?” Madeleine started guessing when Izzy took too long.

Her eyes dropped down to her lap. “Maybe…”

“You can talk to me, Isobel. I won’t tell your father. It will be our secret.”

It took her only half a minute before the tears came rolling down her cheeks and she told Madeleine what happened. She told her about Jack and how much she loved him, how she had snuck out last night to meet him before midnight, how she had wanted him to be her soulmate and ran away when she didn’t feel that connection with him. She told her about how they were planning to tell her father tonight at the party that they were together and that he couldn’t tell them no when he learned that they were soulmates, but that it wasn’t going to happen now. Izzy was pouring her heart out until she had no words left to say.

Madeleine reached her hand out to Izzy’s and held it. Nothing else. She just held it and let her know that she was there.

That’s all that Izzy needed, because she wasn’t looking for advice.

They ended up having a really good time for the rest of the afternoon, finishing up their nails on both their hands and feet before moving to the mirror to get their hair done. By the time that they were done and drove back home, they were smiling and laughing together. Madeleine didn’t bring up Jack or ask Izzy more about that and Izzy actually felt like celebrating her birthday again at the party later tonight.

They were bringing in the bags with their outfits for the evenings, which immediately was taken by Adrian after he had opened the door for them.

“You have a guest, Izzy,” he said with a smile. “He’s in the library.”

There was only one person that she hadn't seen in a couple of days: her uncle Arthur. He’d been gone for a couple of days now, but she knew he would be back in time for her party. Uncle had promised.

Izzy almost ran to the library and opened the door, expecting to see her uncle. Well, she did, but he definitely wasn’t by himself.

“Jack,” Izzy gasped.

It was Arthur who stood up from the couch he was sitting on across Jack, heading towards her.

“No ‘Uncle Arthur’?” he asked her in a seriousness, until a grin appeared. His arms open up to take her into a hug. “Happy birthday, little one.” His hair was longer, half of it hiding the burn scar on the half of his face and neck.

It felt good to be in her uncle’s arms again. She’d missed him and was happy he was back just in time for her birthday party, although she had no reason to believe that he would purposely miss it.

“Thank you, Uncle Arthur. When did you come back?”

“Late last night, but you were all asleep. When I woke up, you were already gone for your girls day with Madeleine.”

They had missed each other by mere minutes.

“I’ll leave you two to talk.” With that, he left the library and it was just her and Jack.

And the silence.

“What are you doing here?”

Jack, who had gotten up from the couch when she had hugged her uncle, walked towards her but stopped when Izzy stretched out her arm to him.

“Did I do something at the clearing?”

Izzy shook her head. She couldn’t find the right words to speak right now. Still distraught from realising that Jack wasn’t her soulmate, what was she going to do if he did find his?

“It’s me, Jack. I’m not your soulmate and I never will be. I can’t do this with you only to have my heart broken all over again when you do meet your soulmate. I’m sorry.” There were tears in her eyes as she stepped back when his hand reached out. “I think you should go.”

“Izzy.” It broke her heart the way he spoke her name.

“Please, Jack.”

One last look at him before she turned away, leaving the room. Leaving Jack.

Letting him go.

Izzy was crying her eyes out the moment she was out the door, which made it harder for her to see ahead of her as she was running towards the staircase to hide out in her bedroom. Her path was crossed by a sandy-haired boy, his hair longer than regularly,refusing to get a haircut. Before Izzy noticed, she had bumped into the boy.

Her gaze met his before she felt that pull.

Oh, no!

Izzy stopped, her eyes growing bigger, realising who she had bumped into.

Oscar Cook.

Then everything went black.

#fic: doom days #my stories

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mavmax · 4 years ago

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Zero O’Clock || Self-Para

When: Tuesday, March 30th - Wednesday, March 31st

Where: Maverick’s Apartment; Pico District

Major Warnings: Anxiety Attack, Mental Illness TW, Suicidal Ideation (HUUUGEEE TW)

Featuring: Lexa Maxwell

The last few weeks had been a whirlwind, between killing it with March Madness and school, it seemed like all was right in the world, until nightfall. Exhaustion, was most often times his excuse to avoid everyone, but he kept feeling this overwhelming sadness. Will mom get better? Will he continue hiding behind and pretending that everything’s okay for the sake of “public image”. How long will he continue to push everyone away until he was completely alone? These were the thoughts that haunted him. That kept him restless and feeling sick. He needed to pretend everything was okay on the court, and for the most part, he was able to play off his frustration and sadness as if it were nothing, but even then…it was taking a toll.

Maybe everyone was better off without him.

That, was the darkest his mind had ever gotten and it freaked him out. It freaked him out so much that he could feel the familiar knot forming at the back of his throat and his hands began to shake. All he could do was start crying. He hated the fact that he sunk so low, he hated he felt trapped in himself. He kept telling himself through his tears that it could be worse. How could it be worse if he just kept screaming in his head? If he felt like his world was coming down around him? He didn’t understand it all.

He had three options at that point. He could either just do the damn thing and call it a day, who’d miss him anyways, right? Or…he could call the one person that knows the feeling all too well, or he could just go to bed and do it all again. However, he knew doing it all again would just get exhausting, tiring to the point where option one would just seem to be the only option. He sat in silence, his sobs subsiding, the numbness was settling in. He paid attention to the clock.

11:59pm.

He didn’t know why the time on the clock was so crucial all of a sudden, but he just stared blankly at it as the tears continued to roll down his face. He was exhausted, burnt out, tired. He hadn’t even followed Soo’s advice about talking to his family about how he was feeling. He hadn’t talked to his friends. He just threw himself into school and basketball and smiled it all away and now here he was contemplating whether he wanted to live to see another day or call it.

12:00am.

He took a shallow breath. Grabbed his phone and went to the bathroom. He closed the door. His sobs caused him to stammer out his words as he asked Lexa to come over with the words. “I don’t feel well.”

12:15am.

Lexa arrived half asleep to her brother’s apartment. She had the spare key and memorized the security code to enter and walked inside. It was quiet, but there wasn’t necessarily a chilling presence, but she was worried sick.

She continued to wander in and opened the door to his room. She took a deep breath and opened the door.

Maverick sat on his bed, in tears, trying his best to put on a brave face for his big sister.

“Bunny,” She sighed, setting her stuff down and hugged him tightly.

“I can’t do it anymore, Lex,” He sobbed out. “I can’t. It hurts too much. I can’t be strong.”

All she could do was hold Maverick as tight as she could. Keep him from falling apart.

“You don’t always have to be strong, Maverick,” She whispered. She carefully pulled away, wiping his tears and squished his face like she used to when they were younger to cheer him up.

“It’s okay not to always be strong, or brave, but bottling all of that inside…believe me when I tell you, it’ll only do more harm than good, okay?” She explained.

“I know,” He croaked out.

“You’re going to get through this. I’m here, Izzy’s here. Your friends, they adore you. I mean, I hear Brandon screaming his wild cheers about your thunder thighs all the time,” She chuckled lightly. For once, this got Maverick to quirk up a small smile.

“I’m gonna stay the night, keep an eye out for you. I’ll hide anything that’ll cause you any risk and in the meantime, I’ll make you tea, you can tell me what’s on your mind and between you, me, and Izzy, the three of us will come up with a plan to keep each other safe, and sane, okay?” Lexa pointed out.

Mav could only nod. Lexa, as the eldest and having experienced her own attempt, knew what to do, but most importantly, she was always the protector. His and Izzy’s protector.

“Thank you, Lex,” He sighed. “Can you not…”

“You know I wouldn’t tell anyone. When you’re ready, you can tell your friends, but it’s never my place to tell. Rest assured,” She smiled.

“I feel like shit for feeling that way but…I just feel like, no one really sees me, or cares, you know?” Mav sighed.

“I get it. I felt the same way. You feel like everyone sees this misconception that they’ve painted of you, right?”

“Yeah. Like that. I mean like, I know you and Izzy think I’m irresponsible and a nuisance—“

“And I also see the same kind, and caring kid with the biggest smile. You bought a whole fucking complex in Pico and kept the rent low and offered to do maintenance to save the building. You’re clever, witty, you love to make people laugh and feel comfortable, like they belong. Mav, just because you’re a pain in the ass doesn’t mean I don’t know you. I know, you’ve been through heartbreaks and heartaches and you choose to bury that down. Now it’s all coming up. You just…have to let it flow.”

“I didn’t think it’d hurt this much.”

“No one ever does. It takes experience do to so.”

“Fucking sucks.”

“I know. But, it doesn’t mean I care about you any less. You’re still a chaotic menace to society, but you’re my brother above all else,” Lexa smiled and pulled Mav into a big hug. Mav hugged Lexa tightly and sighed. Feeling like a weight had lifted.

“Hey Lex?” He asked while still hugging her.

“Yeah?”

“I think I might need someone to talk to,” He admitted.

“And that’s okay. You need help finding one?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. We’ll do that too, as soon as you’re ready.”

“After March Madness?”

“We’ll do that, sure. In the meantime,” Lexa pulled away. “Talk to your friends. Call Blaine, smash some shit. Hang out and flirt with Soo. Have a self care sleepover with Minjoon and Brandon. Fix your laptop with Jian again, but talk to them. Don’t isolate yourself, okay?”

“I promise,” He said.

“Good. Now,” She ruffled his hair. “Let me go clean. Follow me to the kitchen and we’ll have tea and you can go to bed. Big game tomorrow!”

#sp #mental illness tw #anxiety attack tw #suicidal ideation tw

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lightwormsiblings · 4 years ago

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F and K for the fanfic ask

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

This is super old from The Vampire, The Witch, and Vengeance so the style is a bit different to how I write now but I still really like how I’d gotten Magnus’ voice in this scene.

“What happened?”

Magnus chuckles slightly before answering, and Alec admires the way his eyes crinkle slightly as he does.

“Well, after Iris sent you barrelling into a wall, she made a quick escape. Jace and I brought you back here so I could tend to your quite fatal wounds.”

Alec’s stares at Magnus in shock. It made sense that Magnus would have been the one to heal him, but he hadn’t put the pieces together.

“Why didn’t you go after Iris? She couldn’t have gone far that quickly.”

“And leave you to bleed out on her floor? Not a chance, I just started to like you pretty boy.” Alec flushes at the compliment and tries to hide it by asking another question.

“Why are you helping us?”

Magnus looks genuinely startled at the question but answers quickly.

“We’ve been over this. You’re pretty, and I like pretty things.”

Alec rolls his eyes, the compliment not having as much effect the second time.

“I don’t think you’re that shallow,” he challenges.

Magnus’ grin fades slightly at that, and Alec cringes inwardly. Maybe he took it too far. Magnus looks Alec up and down for a long moment, and Alec gets the feeling Magnus doesn’t know the answer to the question himself.

He sighs before bringing his legs up onto the bed and sitting criss cross in front of Alec.

“Did you ever stop to think that maybe not all of us are evil?”

Alec stares for a second. He hadn’t thought that Magnus could be helping them simply out of the kindness of his heart.

“When I was young and I first found out I was a witch I had no one. My stepfather wanted nothing to do with me, my mother killed herself.”

Magnus says it’s casually, but Alec can tell from the way that his hands are curled in his lap that it’s anything but casual for him to talk about this.

“I’m sorry,” Alec gets out in a whisper, scared to break the fragileness between them.

“It was a long time ago,” Magnus sends him a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes but it’s better than nothing so Alec smiles tentatively back.

“Navigating the life of a witch on my own was terrible. So I vowed to myself that if I ever stumbled upon a monster that was struggling to cope with being pulled into this world I would do everything I could to help them,” he nods towards the door, “that’s how I stumbled upon our friend Sheldon.

Alec laughs. “It’s Simon.”

Magnus waves a hand and grins at Alec. “Same thing.” Alec is comforted by the smile on his face despite the serious conversation.

“That doesn’t explain why you’re helping us, me and Jace, I mean. You don’t seem to like hunters very much.”

Magnus’ eyes turn sad again, and Alec worries he’s said something wrong for at least the third time in the conversation. He really is terrible at this.

“You’re right. I do. Usually I despise your kind. All holier than thou, kill all monsters on sight. You’re all a bunch of arrogant assholes to be honest.”

Alec should be offended by that, but for some reason he isn’t, instead he feels an odd pang of guilt. He’s met a lot of people this week that he definitely would have killed on sight if Magnus hadn’t stopped him. How many innocent monsters had he probably killed in in life?

“Hunters killed one of my best friends. For absolutely no reason other than the fact that he was a witch. I didn’t like hunters before that. But that tipped me over the edge, I’ve despised your kind ever since.”

Alec feels his heart drop at the way Magnus’ eyes seem to shine with unshed tears.

“I-“ he tries to say something comforting. Something to apologize but nothing comes out. What is he supposed to say to that?

“When I first saw you I thought you were the same as every other hunter I’d ever met. I wanted to despise you. I tried to, but you’re different. I trust you for some reason.”

Alec just stares. He has no idea what to say.

“You listened to me. You didn’t use the bullets even though it would have been easier,” he looks down at Alec with a small smile. “You probably wouldn’t have broken ribs right now if you had used them.”

Alec chuckles slightly despite himself, wincing slightly when the movement sends pain into his ribs.

Magnus places a hand on his ribs, and the pain seems to fade a bit. He looks at Alec with wide honest eyes, and Alec can’t look away no matter how hard he tries.

“I trust you too you know? Though I have no idea why.” he says it softly and revels in the answering smile Magnus sends him.

“That’s why I’m helping you.”

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

Hmm I think it would have to be the fic I wrote where Izzy dies and Alec and Jace are not okay.

I’ve written other pretty angsty things too but this fic also started an angst war in the malec discord so I think it deserves to win haha.

Ask me fanfic questions

#answered #penelo14

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mikeisthricedeceased · 5 years ago

Text

You’re My Home 3

Catfish x OC

Part 3: Honesty

Word Count: ~3.5k

Part 1 Part 2

Warnings: ANGST, mentions of death, mentions of alcoholism, mentions of drug use, overdose, fluff

A/N: Sorry for the angst. Also for the info-dump of a dating montage. I gotta establish things. They fuck in the next part. Like, a lot.

Summary: They go on a few more dates and its a Montage. Frankie has a bad time in his apartment. Overdose and ER visit. Nita gives Frankie a stern talking-to.

~*~*~*~

Frankie woke up in his room, looking around blearily. He squinted, turning to look at the other side of the bed, only to find it empty.

Huffing out a sigh, he buried his face in his pillow.

She might’ve had work. Or had things to take care of at her place.

Or she just wanted to leave after he fell asleep because it was clear that nothing was going to happen, even if he had been awake.

It wasn’t fair to think like that. He knew that. It was a reflection of how he was getting into his own head far more than it was a reflection of anything she’d done.

Nita had sprawled out on the couch, leaning into him, head on his chest as they scrolled through movies and shows. She’d done her best to explain some parts of her job or the whole community behind it when they couldn’t find anything else to watch.

They’d spent a long time curled up on the couch and talking about whatever came to mind.

When he had asked her to stay, he hadn’t really been expecting much. After all, even with how much he wanted her, that odd guilt had stayed in the back of his mind.

He could still picture her tired smile as she said, “As long as we can move back to the bed. I don’t think I’ll survive sleeping on a couch for the night.”

She had quickly exchanged her jeans for an old pair of sweatpants he had, which were way too long on her, before slipping under the covers with him.

And now she was gone.

He reached for the phone on his nightstand, lifting it up and squinting. No notifications.

He sank into numbness as he got up, rubbing a hand down his face and shuffling to the bathroom to take a piss.

When he came back out, he headed to the kitchen, walking right past an old set of sneakers with a folded pair of jeans and a bra sitting on top of them.

He was in the middle of a yawn when he stepped into the kitchen and was confronted with the sight of Nita kneeling on top of the counter, a cabinet open next to her as she read the label on a bag of ground coffee.

She looked up when he stopped, giving him a warm smile.

The morning was already far better than he’d been preparing himself for.

~*~*~*~

“And this was right after she was born?” Nita asked.

Frankie smiled. “Yeah, right when they brought her back from being weighed and everything. She was so tiny.”

She looked up from the photo on his phone, placing a hand on his arm. “She’s so beautiful.”

Nita was sitting with her legs thrown across his lap, curled up against the arm of the couch in his living room. One of his hands rested just above her ankle, the other splayed over her thigh.

“She is,” he agreed. “Lana almost had to knock me out to get me to hand her over. As soon as Izzy was in my arms, I never wanted to give her up for anything.” His expression was so soft, bursting with adoration.

Nita chuckled. “Doesn’t surprise me, you big softie,” she said, brushing her knuckles along his jaw.

He rolled his eyes, waving her hand away. “Yeah, yeah.” He pointed to the phone in her hands. “If you scroll further down, there should be some more recent pictures. Stuff from her birthday.”

Nita leaned her head against the back of the couch as she looked through the pictures, a small smile on her face that grew whenever she came across a photo of a little girl with cake icing all over her face. “I think it’s safe to say you have the most adorable daughter in the world. At least, in my opinion,” she said, patting his chest and handing him his phone.

He nodded, grinning over at her as he took it. “Oh, I’d have to agree. No contest.” He squeezed her thigh affectionately.

They’d been dating for about a month. It was good. So good.

Over that month, he’d told her a little bit about the fuckup of a job that went down in South America the year before, and how it had cost them an old friend. How he blamed himself for the crash that made the whole thing go downhill. How he and his buddies had been trying to stay in touch a little more after that, even with how much civilian life kept them apart.

She’d told him about her friend and business partner, Sydney, as well as his husband, Ethan. How they, and the people she worked with, were her family. How her parents had kicked her out and cut her off when she came out after high school and that she had joined the Marines to help pay for college without them. How she hadn’t spoken to them since then. Nothing, in 25 years.

He didn’t think he would have made it as far as he had if he hadn’t had his parents to back him up. He had to give her credit for finding a whole new family and making a life doing what she enjoyed and cared about.

Frankie could feel himself open up to her whenever they went out together or when she came over and they just talked for hours about everything and nothing.

He eventually managed to bring up his struggles with cocaine, terrified of her reaction but more so terrified of the possibility of her finding out some other way.

She’d looked taken aback when he told her. He was ready for her to tell him that she couldn’t be around that, that he had to fix it before he considered dating. It had played a big part in ending his marriage, after all.

She had just looked at him for a few moments. “My assistant, Tiff, takes the key to my home liquor cabinet home with her whenever I start to get too stressed.” Her gaze slid down. “I started giving it to her once we’d gotten a little closer, and I’d told her about how I’d been well on my way to alcoholism before I was even old enough to drink. Joining the military made it worse. It peaked right after I got discharged. That whole clusterfuck tipped me over the edge and I ended up in the ER getting my stomach pumped after a particularly rough night of binge drinking.” She’d shrugged, offering a sad smile. “Started going to therapy after that. It helps. Having friends, too. I won’t pretend to know what it’s like for something like coke, but I imagine there’s some crossover in the reasoning behind it. I wanted to shut things out. The shit with my family. All the stuff while I was serving. Almost losing Syd.”

She had let out a sigh, holding one of his hands between hers. “Stopping it has taken more discipline than I ever thought I had. And I haven’t even gone full sober, but I have strict rules for myself. It starts to get easier though, when you find other, better habits to take its place.”

Frankie had run a hand through his hair. “How do you do that?”

A wrinkle appeared between her brows. “Do what?”

“Make me have some hope for myself that doesn’t feel like complete bullshit.”

She had brought his hand up and kissed his knuckles. “I’m just telling you the stuff that I’ve gone through and what I’ve learned in the years since then. We’ve all had our struggles. A little empathy only makes sense.”

He had pulled her up into his lap after that, sliding his arms around her and just holding her there for a long time.

He also occasionally worked up the courage to ask her specific questions about her job at the club. He’d made some effort to look things up online, but usually ended up feeling like everything went over his head.

“So, people call you Boss when you’re there?” he asked one night when they’d had pizza delivered to his apartment for a night in.

She nodded, sliding a slice of ham and pineapple onto her plate. “Yep. And outside of work, too, since it kinda becomes a habit, but that’s mostly the other staff. The Boss is kinda like a role I play while I’m there in general, and with a few of my regular clients that like that for private play. The suits are really nice,” she said, smiling.

“When you say regular clients, is that just people who stop by a lot?”

“It’s a repeat business. We have our regulars just like anywhere else, people that get what they’re looking for with a particular Dom on staff, or the people who pay for the membership so they can use the equipment in the open dungeons,” she said, shrugging as she took a bite of pizza.

Frankie set his beer on the coffee table and raised an eyebrow. “What kinds of stuff do your clients ask you to do for them?” The tips of his ears went a little warm when he realized what he might be asking about. “If you can even say. I guess most people wouldn’t want their... interests to be talked about with random people.”

She grinned. “You can say kinks. It’s not a bad word. And I’m happy to discuss clients in a very general way. I just don’t want to out anyone specific for what they like.”

He sat back into the couch. “So, what is the general stuff?”

“Well,” she began, “I’ve dealt with Daddy and Mommy kinks, a lot of bondage, nonsexual overstimulation, sensory deprivation, impact play, breath play. Degradation is a big one, as is praise. Sometimes, there’s a specific scenario that the client wants to explore, so that usually has some more involved roleplaying.”

He nodded along, eyes going a bit wide. “I know what some of those words mean,” he told her. “And you’re the one in charge every time? Like, you’re the one doing stuff, the tying up and name-calling and everything?”

“I am the Boss. So, yes.” She drew her legs up and tucked them under her. “But, despite the power play going on in a scene, the submissive always has a level of control over the situation because they can end it immediately and at any point. That’s what safewords are for, or alternatives when a sub can’t speak.”

“Right,” he said slowly. “And the club has its own safeword?”

She nodded through another bite.

He looked down at his own plate. “And you’re really into all of that?”

“Yeah. It’s why I made it my job. I mean, I’m not really into being called Mommy or Daddy myself, but I don’t mind it if it’s what the client wants. Kind of a loose roleplay.”

“So, you—” He had to clear his throat, glancing over at her. “You want to do that kind of stuff...to me?”

Nita looked over at him, studying his face before setting her plate on the table with a sigh. She scooted closer to him on the couch and set a hand on his knee. “I don’t want to do anything that you don’t want me to. We don’t have to do any of this and I’m certainly not going to force it on you. If you find yourself interested, we can try some things, but I’m not expecting you to get on board just because I am.” She leaned against him, taking his hand. “And considering the fact that we’ve only really made out at this point, I have no plans to start breaking out any crazy shit.”

Embarrassment burned in his chest. “Yeah, I’m—I’m sorry about that whole thing,” he said, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck.

She sat up a little higher to look at him, still partially leaning into his side. “Stop it. That isn’t something you ever need to apologize for. I am fully capable of enjoying time with you that doesn’t involve sex, Frankie.” She slid her arms around his chest, resting her head on his shoulder. “And I get to cuddle up with you regardless, so I’m only winning.”

He offered a half-hearted hum, but wrapped an arm around her to keep her tucked against him.

She squinted up at his profile. “Don’t make me start,” she warned.

“Start what?”

“You know what.”

He shook his head. “No, I don’t.”

“I’m gonna start, Frankie,” she said, pursing her lips at him.

“I don’t know what that means,” he insisted, holding his hands up, brows lifting in exasperation.

Nita brought a hand up to cup the side of his face. “So pretty.”

He frowned in confusion. “What?”

She leaned up and buried her face in his neck. “The most handsome,” she said.

“What’re you—”

“Very cozy. The sweetest ever. A ‘read me the whole phone book’ kind of voice.” She was smiling against his neck.

“Nita—”

She pulled herself up onto his lap, ignoring him. “Really soft hair. Nice laugh. Gorgeous eyes. A big-hearted goofball. The best smile. A goddamn adorable blush. Hands made to be held. Excellent kisser. Fellow bad movie lover. Super smart. Great at—”

“Okay!” he exclaimed, putting a hand over her mouth to make her stop, his face burning. “I get it! You don’t have to attack me with compliments.”

She beamed at him and pulled his hand away, poking his cheek. “See? A goddamn adorable blush.”

“Stop,” he groaned, leaning forward to hide his face in her hair while she laughed.

It seemed too soon to say anything, but he could feel it filling his chest whenever she was around.

~*~*~*~

Despite everything that had improved in the last month, he would still end up tormenting himself in the off times.

One morning, he woke up before sunrise. His apartment was dark and empty.

He should’ve pushed to leave more money behind before they ever took off.

Frankie ground the heels of his palms into his eyes as he sat up.

He should’ve found a better exit route.

Swinging his legs off the side of the bed, he stood up slowly, putting a hand on the nightstand for support.

He should’ve found a different place to land.

He shuffled into his bathroom and turned on the faucet, splashing cold water on his face before he looked at himself in the mirror.

He’d shot first.

There were dark circles under his eyes and he looked pale. The lines in his face stood out, making him seem grim. Guilty.

He’d been willing to kill kids. Fucking kids.

It was his fault. He couldn’t stop drawing everything back to the mistakes he’d made, the risks he’d taken while they were there. They’d lost the money because of him. They’d crashed because of him. Tom was dead because of him.

He’d still be at home, watching his daughter grow up, if he hadn’t agreed to go in the first place.

He turned the faucet off and walked out of the bathroom, going straight for the dresser. Opening up the top drawer, he slid his hand to the back and grabbed the big Ziploc bag hidden under some old socks. He brought the whole thing with him as he walked to the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge.

He popped open the bottle and headed into the living room, tossing the bag on the coffee table and sinking down onto the couch.

The little packets of white powder stared up at him as he sipped his beer.

~*~*~*~

Nita parked outside of Frankie’s building. She got out of the car, clipping her keyring to a belt loop, and grabbed her wallet and phone from the cup holder.

She jogged up to the main entrance, catching the door before it closed behind the person who walked in ahead of her.

They were going to try a new breakfast place downtown. They had agreed it would be easier to just meet up at his place and take one car from there, since it had become the norm for Nita to stay over until she had to get ready for work anyway.

When she reached the elevator, she hit the call button and sent Frankie a quick ‘on my way up’ text.

She looked up as the door opened with a ding and stepped inside, glancing down at her phone in anticipation of a short acknowledging response from him. She kept checking while she got off on his floor and up until she was in front of his door.

Shaking her head with a small smile, she knocked on the door. He had a habit of leaving his phone on the charger in his bedroom until the last minute.

She looked down the hallway as she waited for him to open the door. She waited and waited and waited.

There didn’t seem to be any movement on the other side.

She knocked harder, leaning toward the door with a frown. The TV was playing faintly from inside, but she couldn’t hear him moving around or talking. Nothing.

Looking down at her phone, she called him and brought it up to her ear.

She could hear it ringing from inside his apartment. It rang until his voicemail picked up.

Worry set in. He wouldn’t still be in the shower if they were supposed to meet up. His apartment wasn’t huge, he’d be able to hear her knocking or his phone ringing. He’d have told her if something came up, and he wouldn’t have left without his phone. Hell, his truck was still parked in the lot.

She tried knocking again.

When she still didn’t get a reply, she started shifting into panic mode. Awful scenarios played over in her mind.

Is this how Syd felt when he couldn’t get in touch with her?

That thought triggered a whole other scenario to play out. The night she had to be rushed to the hospital for alcohol poisoning.

And Frankie had told her about his issues with cocaine.

“No, no, no,” she whispered, twisting helplessly at the doorknob, “please, don’t be that.”

She was sprinting back down the hallway before she even realized what she was going to do. Her panicked footsteps echoed through the stairwell as she went back to the ground floor and burst out into the lobby.

She got to the front desk, gripping the edge of the counter as she looked at the clerk.

“I need a key for 306,” she told him, breathless.

He didn’t look up from his computer. “Do you have proof of residence?”

“I don’t live here. It’s my boyfriend’s apartment. Please, it’s urgent.”

He sighed, turning to her with a bored look. “I can’t give out keys without proof of residence or consent from a resident.”

She shook her head, panic giving way to her temper. “You don’t understand, this is an em—”

“I cannot give out keys without proof of residence or consent from a resident.”

Furious, she pulled a business card out of her wallet and threw it at the man. “Fucking bill me, then,” she snarled.

She was already back at the door for the stairway before he could shout an angry “Hey!”

Even taking the steps two at a time, it felt like forever before she reached the third floor. She ran down the hallway, pulse pounding in her ears as she returned to his door. Taking a deep breath, she braced herself quickly before slamming a foot into the door, right next to the knob.

She heard it crack a little, but it held, vibrating on its hinges with the force.

Kicking again, the cracking was louder and there was a dent where her foot hit.

A third kick made the doorframe splinter inward and she was able to shoulder the door open the rest of the way.

She saw him immediately.

He was laying limp on the living room floor, a trail of foam at the corner of his mouth. Three beer bottles sat on the coffee table, one laying on its side. She didn’t miss the shakily prepared lines of cocaine right next to the bottles, or that the amount of open packets scattered across the table meant that they were far from the first.

She ran over to him and crouched at his side, fingers seeking out the pulse at his neck.

It was fast, too fast, but that was better than nothing.

Pulling her phone out, she called for an ambulance immediately, trying to keep the shaking out of her voice as she answered their non-stop questions.

She stayed on the phone with the dispatcher until the paramedics were walking through the splintered doorway. How she must’ve looked then, petting his hair gently with trembling hands.

The questions started all over again as she went with them out to the ambulance. There was so much that she couldn’t answer and she just kept apologizing for that, even though they’d only known each other for little more than a month

She climbed in with them, wide eyed as they started placing stickers and wires all over him before sticking an IV in his arm.

They were throwing jargon back and forth between the questions that they asked her.

She felt like she was in a daze, listening to the rapid beeps of the machine monitoring his vitals, trying to pick through her memory for any traces of his medical history that might’ve come up in conversation.

Then, a dull, steady tone filled the space.

The world went white as the paramedic beside her got to his feet and started doing chest compressions.

She knew that they were all talking to one another, and maybe to her, but all she heard was that single long tone. Numbness crawled through her veins and she just stared at Frankie’s face. There wasn’t anything she could do in that situation and the helplessness was tearing her apart.

Her body jolted along with the momentum of the speeding ambulance, her elbow slamming into the wall hard enough to bruise at one point, but the only pain she felt was her chest constricting and the blurry sting behind her eyes.

Everything became too loud when the beeping resumed. The sudden ability to breathe again made her dizzy and she could feel tears falling down her face.

The paramedics waited a moment, scanning the monitor to ensure that things were returning to some semblance of normal, before the one beside her sat back down.

He gently nudged her arm and she realized that she was shaking. “Hey. We’ve got him,” he said softly.

She just nodded silently, not trusting her voice to work with the lump in her throat.

From that point on, she watched the monitor displaying his vitals, willing it all to stay steady throughout the rest of the drive.

When they got to the hospital, she wasn’t allowed to follow them back to his room. She wasn’t family.

Instead, a nurse led her out to the waiting room, where she sat stiffly in one of the cushioned chairs, not really sure what she was meant to be waiting for, nor how long that wait would be.

She wasn’t sure how long she sat there, staring blankly at the empty chair across from her, before a woman came through the main entrance.

Nita didn’t really notice her until she hurried up to the nurses’ station and said “I got a call about a patient. Francisco Morales?”

Nita looked up, finding a woman she’d seen a few glimpses of in older photos of Izzy that Frankie had shown her on his phone. Lana. She must’ve still been listed as his emergency contact.

She got up out of her chair as the nurse behind the desk took Lana’s ID and started typing away. As she got closer, she felt more uncertain as to what she would even say.

Lana was about average height, which meant she was taller than Nita, and seemed to be a few years younger, maybe mid to late thirties. She was pretty, a warm complexion and dark hair that was pulled away from her face in a low ponytail. She glanced up when Nita stopped a few feet away.

“Hi,” Nita said, giving a small, polite smile. “You’re Lana, right?” She caught the look of slight confusion as Lana studied her face, clearly trying to place it. “We’ve never met. I’m Nita, I came here with Frankie.”

Realization spread over her features and she held out a hand, which Nita shook. “I didn’t know he was seeing someone.”

Nita shrugged, a part of her hoping she didn’t look as wrecked as she still felt. “It’s only been a little over a month, so I’m not surprised.”

Lana’s eyes widened. “A month? And you’re already having to come to the hospital?” She leaned closer, voice lowering. “Tell me it wasn’t the coke. They just told me to come in, they didn’t tell me what was wrong. Did he overdose?”

She pressed her lips tight, head filling with that long, dull tone as she gave a small nod. “I found him. We were supposed to meet up before grabbing breakfast.”

“I’m sorry,” Lana said sincerely. Then, she frowned slightly. “What are you doing out here? Are they not allowing visitors?”

Nita shook her head. “Family only.” She gestured vaguely to Lana. “Or emergency contacts.”

“Ms. Torres,” said the nurse, holding out Lana’s ID. “Someone will be by in a minute to bring you back.”

Lana took the card, still frowning as she looked at Nita, before she turned to the nurse. “Can I bring her back with me?”

Nita’s eyes widen a bit in surprise, gaze shifting between Lana and the nurse.

The nurse looked to Nita. “Do you have an ID with you?”

She was quick to slip her license out of her wallet and hand it over, nodding her thanks to Lana who just gave a small smile.

A nurse appeared from the set of automatic doors next to the desk as Nita was being handed her license back.

“You’re here for Mr. Morales?” he asked.

Both women nodded and he gestured for them to follow.

Nita tensed as soon as they left the waiting room, skin crawling as they made their way down the featureless hall. It was always the smell that bothered her first, followed by the lighting and the hallways that felt awkwardly wide but also cramped. She’d never even been to this hospital, but the bland walls were full of bad memories.

“He’ll be asleep when you go in, and probably won’t wake up for a few hours while he detoxes,” the nurse was explaining. “We did have him awake a little while ago to check for any other possible issues, like a concussion since he was found on the ground. Nothing turned up, so that’s a good sign. It’s just down to having him rest and letting everything work it’s way out of his system. The plan right now is to keep him overnight, with the possibility of holding him another day for observation.” They stopped at a door and the nurse carefully pushed it open, letting Nita and Lana step through first. “If you need anything, you can go to the nurses’ station that’s a little further down this hall.” He then gestured back the direction they’d just come from. “We passed some vending machines on the way here. I know it’s almost lunch time, so if you want to get some snacks, those are an option. There’s also the cafeteria, but you might need to ask someone to show you the way if you want to get there.”

They each nodded along with his words, thanking him before he slipped back out of the room. They were left to take in the sight of Frankie in the hospital bed as the room settled into silence.

He was pale, a thin sheen of sweat causing his hair to stick to his forehead and neck. His eyes seemed sunken, like this was the only sleep he’d gotten in a long time. The wide neck of the hospital gown was crooked and left his collarbones exposed, skin still gleaming with sweat. There were a few machines surrounding him, all just there to monitor his heart rate, oxygen levels, or blood pressure. He was still hooked up to an IV, the bag hanging on a stand nestled amongst the machines.

Nita was hit with a wave of nausea but she gritted her teeth, determined to fight it. He would be alright. There was no reason for her to start sliding back into panic.

Her throat tightened with the threat of tears anyway.

Lana walked over to one of the chairs in the room and sat down heavily, sighing as she ran her hands down her face. She looked to where Nita was still frozen in place. “Come sit. I don’t think there’ll be much for us to do until he wakes up,” she said gently, leaning back.

“Yeah,” she rasped, taking him in for a moment longer before tearing her gaze away and moving to join Lana.

~*~*~*~

His chest hurt. It felt like someone had knocked a baseball right into the center of it. Or maybe just hit him directly with a hard swing of the bat.

And the low beeping was making the pounding in his head even worse.

He heard people speaking, too low to make out, and something about their voices was...off.

Everything was too bright when he tried to open his eyes. It was like a light was shining right into his face. He forced his eyes to stay open, squinting against the light in the room and up at the TV playing on the wall across from him.

The voices.

He slowly registered that he was in a hospital room as he looked around. Something was wrong. He’d fucked something up. Done too much. His whole body felt like shit.

His gaze eventually landed on the figure sitting in a chair off to the side.

She was facing the TV, a bag of pretzels in her hand, not yet noticing that he was awake.

Confusion took hold of him. “Lana?”

She met his gaze with a start. “Hey,” she said, flustered. “You’re up.”

He shook his head. “What’re you—? But Izzy—?”

“Izzy is with my mom. The hospital called me down here,” she told him with a sigh. “You need to get your records updated, Frankie.”

He felt himself sink down into the bed. “Yeah. I’m sorry. I didn’t—” He swallowed hard, throat dry. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

Lana stood up and folded her arms as she made her way over to the side of the bed. “I know you didn’t. I think the fact that you had plans this morning kinda saved you, actually.”

“Plans?” he asked with a slight frown.

And then there was the dread as he remembered.

“It’s Tuesday,” he said softly. “I was supposed to have breakfast with Nita.”

Lana nodded, looking down at her shoes. “She’s the one that found you.”

“Fuck,” he groaned, covering his face with his hands. “God fucking damn it.” He shut his eyes and let his hands fall back down. “I woke up so early, I didn’t even think about the day.”

“She’s been on edge the whole time I’ve been here, Frankie.” She looked up at him and her eyes were so full of emotion that it almost made him wince. “Don’t put her through this, alright? I know that you know it’s not fair. To anyone.”

He stared down at the end of the bed. “I know. I’m trying, but I just...” he trailed off with a sigh. “I’m trying.”

“Yeah,” she said, voice low and a bit strained as she let her gaze drop.

“And Nita’s here?” He tried to shift a little, sit up straighter, but pain twisted all along his rib cage and he was forced to slump back. Prepared to try again, he took a deep breath, only to discover that that alone reignited the pain. Teeth gritted, he focused on keeping his breathing even without over-expanding his lungs.

“She is. She went to grab a drink from the vending machine.”

He nodded slightly, a hand hovering over where the ache was worst. “Did something happen while I was out?” he ground out. “When I move, it’s like I’m getting kicked in the chest.”

Lana frowned and shook her head. “I don’t know. They said you were alright, aside from having to detox. You could call in a nurse,” she suggested.

They both turned to look when the door opened.

Nita slipped into the room, eyes widening as she saw Frankie. “Hi. How do you feel?” she asked, quickly moving to his side, a hand gently taking hold of his free one.

“Like shit,” he said, offering a dry grin. “Headache isn’t fun. And my chest is killing me, for some reason.”

Something in her expression shifted, the little smile that had been forming wavered. “They didn’t say your ribs were broken, but they’re probably pretty bruised.”

“Did I hit something? Or run into something?”

She shook her head and squeezed his hand, eyes too bright. “No. They, uh...They had to do chest compressions on the ride here.” He could see her jaw working as she shifted her weight. “You flatlined.”

He stared at her blankly, not sure he even wanted to fully process what she’d said.

“What?” Lana exclaimed.

Nita cleared her throat. “I’m sorry. I would’ve said something earlier, but I couldn’t really think about it without—” She rocked back on her heels and pulled her hand away from him. “Hospitals bring back—” she started again before her jaw clenched. “I’m gonna go sit down.”

They watched her shuffle around the bed and slump down heavily into one of the chairs, hands covering her face. She was silent for a few moments before she looked back up at them.

“I haven’t been able to get the sound out of my head since I heard it, and hospitals bring back some very bad memories, so I’ve just been trying to avoid focusing on the details or thinking about anything that will make me nauseous.” She said it all very quickly, like she was trying to get it out before she could register her own words. “So, your ribs are probably bruised.”

Frankie looked up at the ceiling and almost wished that he was enough of a believer to pray, but he couldn’t get his thoughts organized enough to even try.

Lana slowly made her way over to the chairs and sat down next to Nita.

Things were pretty quiet after that.

~*~*~*~

The hospital released him two days later, taking that second day for observation to monitor the effects of the detox and the severity of his bruised ribs.

Nita was there from the very beginning of visiting hours each day, staying until the nurses had to practically force her to leave.

Lana left when visitation ended the day he was brought in so that she could pick Izzy up. She came back for an hour or two the next morning to check in, and a final time when they were letting him go.

Once Lana left and his papers were signed, he was wheeled out through the front doors and to the entrance of the parking garage by a nurse before getting up and walking the rest of the way to Nita’s car.

The drive to his apartment was overwhelmingly calm and it made him feel like everything inside him was utter chaos by comparison.

Upon making it to his building, the man at the front desk stopped them as soon as they walked in.

“You Morales? 306?” he asked Frankie.

His brow furrowed. “Yeah.”

The man held out a hand. “ID.”

Frankie just looked more confused as he pulled out his wallet and handed his license over.

The clerk leaned over his computer and checked the license against some information he pulled up on the monitor. Then, he straightened back up and returned the ID before handing Frankie a key. “For your new door,” he said, shooting a glare at Nita.

Frankie stared down at the key as they walked to the elevator. “New door? I didn’t know they were getting new doors.”

Nita pushed the call button and looked up at him. “They aren’t. I just kicked in your old one.”

His brows shot up and he nearly dropped the key. “You what?”

“They wouldn’t give me a key, so I had to kick my way in.”

He stared at her blankly for a few seconds. “I’m sorry you had to do that,” he said lowly.

She shrugged. “I just had to get to you. I was worried.”

He gazed down at her as they walked onto the elevator, eyes sweeping over her face. She looked tired. And it was his fault.

He was a little startled when he felt her fingers intertwine with his.

“I’m fine,” she assured him, voice quiet, “we’re focusing on making you feel better.”

Her thumb brushed the back of his hand.

He couldn’t help wondering if she knew just how much he didn’t deserve it, that little comforting gesture. Surely, there was enough evidence showing that she shouldn’t even bother with him. It had to be clear by that point that he was just in a permanent state of fucked up mess.

Neither of them said anything when they reached the third floor and walked down the hall.

He took note of the fresh coat of paint on the new doorframe and the knob that shone bright from lack of use.

When he walked inside, he felt a heaviness clinging to him, weighing his shoulders down. He hated how his first concern was the mess he’d left on the coffee table, and the confusion when he saw that there were no traces of it.

“I got rid of it while I was waiting for the ambulance,” Nita said as she walked into the kitchen and pulled herself up onto the counter. “I broke the door and there was no reason to leave it out for someone to find while you were gone.”

He just looked at her, a frown etched into his face. Shuffling into the kitchen, he leaned back against the counter across from her and let his gaze drop to the floor, body slumping as much as his ribs would allow.

Her eyes trailed over him with concern. “What are you thinking about?”

Crossing his arms, he shook his head. “The fact that I’m just a piece of shit, and that I can’t stop fucking things up for myself.” His eyes burned as he gestured toward her. “I mean, I fucking OD and you’re the one cleaning up after me. We’ve been together a few weeks and I’m already—” his voice cracked, “I’m already putting you through this kind of bullshit. This kind of stupid shit is the whole reason I’m divorced and now I’m throwing it at you too. And, on top of that, I feel guilty whenever I want you, which doesn’t even make sense and just makes me feel like a goddamn asshole because I know that I’m being fucking confusing but I can’t make it stop. I start to think about any bad memories or doubts and my first instinct is to fucking turn my brain off for a few hours because I’m too fucking stupid to figure out a halfway decent way to cope. I can’t trust myself.” He took his hat off and threw it across the counter, running a hand through his hair and down his face. “Now, I’m just ranting at you like a kid throwing a tantrum, as if you have anything to do with all of my bullshit,” he said, smiling bitterly to himself as his throat tightened. “You’re the best thing that’s happened to me in all this time I’ve been on my own and this is the shit that I pull.”

His jaw clenched as he folded his arms back tight across his chest and shifted his weight.

Nita slipped down off of the counter, crossing the kitchen and stopping in front of him.

“Look at me, Frankie,” she said softly, taking his face in her hands.

His eyes found hers reluctantly.

“There are some things I’m about to say. A lot of it, you already know, but sometimes you have to hear things out loud for them to click. And some of it won’t be very nice to hear. Okay?”

He offered a small nod.

She took a deep breath, brushing her thumbs over his cheeks. “You aren’t married anymore, Frankie.”

He instantly tensed, trying to lean away, but she held him in place.

“You are divorced. You’ve been single for the better part of a year. Moving back into your old place isn’t really a possibility. You aren’t—”

A muscle in his jaw ticked. “Nita—”

“Hush. I’m not done.”

His shoulders sagged.

She studied him for a moment before continuing. “You aren’t cheating on anyone. You aren’t being unfaithful. You’re allowed to date. You can have sex with as many people as you want. You could go to a fucking orgy, if that’s what you want to do!”

He gave a strained laugh as she smiled at him.

“You don’t need to feel guilty whenever I rile you up. You’re allowed to enjoy being intimate with me. You aren’t doing anything wrong. It is perfectly alright to get a blowjob from the lady you met at the bar a few weeks ago. You know, the one who won’t shut up about how sexy you are.”

A smile curled at his mouth and he reached to give her hip a small squeeze.

She brushed a few strands of hair from his forehead, expression turning more serious. “You aren’t happy. You’re the sort of man that the world has chewed up and spit out too many times to count. And you bottle everything up. You lock everything up so tight that your only means of distraction is by forcing bad chemicals with the right effect into your brain so that everything stops hurting for a little while. I know you want to block out all of the shit that went down with you and your friends, but shoving it down isn’t helping anyone. Especially not you. You are an addict. And it’s killing you.”

She heard him take a shaky breath.

She swallowed hard, and leaned forward to press her forehead against his. “Your fucking heart stopped, Frankie.”

He let loose a sob, arms wrapping around her and pulling her close.

She hugged around his neck, hands clasped at his nape. “You need help. And you haven’t really done much to find it for yourself because you’ve become so fucking terrified of being a burden on the people around you. That’s a hard mindset to break out of, and I know it feels impossible sometimes. But people want to help. You are deserving of that help. And I’ll tell you that every fucking day until you believe it, and then I’ll keep telling you anyway.” She went up on her toes and hugged him tighter, face buried in the side of his neck as she tried to keep her voice from faltering with the tears that were rolling down to her chin. “There is a wonderful father who could talk for hours about how much he loves his daughter, and that little girl fucking deserves to have him at her side whenever she needs him.”

Frankie collapsed in on himself, ignoring the throbbing ache in his chest at the movement, shaking as he held onto her and they both cried. When his knees buckled beneath him, she helped him ease down so that they were sitting on the kitchen floor, wrapped up in each other.

They stayed there for a while, holding on as the sobs slowly quieted and the tears just turned into stiff trails on their faces.

Nita ran her fingers through his hair gently. “There’s that therapist that I go to,” she said, voice still rough. “Started seeing her back when the alcoholism was at its worst. The whole place specializes in addiction. First session is the hardest.”

“Okay,” he murmured.

She pressed a light kiss to his temple. “You can come stay with me for a while. I know you don’t like it here.”

He took a breath to say something, but she squeezed her arms around him tighter and continued

“It isn’t just when you’re alone here, Frankie. I’ve seen something in your eyes shut off when we walk in. It’s like...what this place represents in your mind. It breaks you down.”

He curled a strand of her hair around his finger absently. “Yeah,” he admitted.

She sat back enough to look at him. “Let’s pack a bag for you. I don’t care how much, just whatever you think you’ll need for the next few days. We can figure it out from there.”

He nodded lamely, clearing his throat. “Okay.”

She kissed his temple again. “We’ll stop by to pick your truck up tomorrow.”

He straightened, wincing slightly, and ran a hand down his face. “I can take it now.”

“No.”

He startled at the firmness in her voice. “Nita, I ca—”

“No,” she repeated. “I’m driving you to my house and you’re going to rest. We’ll get the truck tomorrow.” There was no room for argument.

He sat there, studying the set of her jaw and the steel in her eyes. “Alright,” he said finally.

She nodded once and stood up, offering him a hand. He took it and gritted his teeth as pain burned through his abdomen when he pulled himself up.

Resting her hands just above his elbows, she helped him steady himself. “Need to be careful with you for a while,” she said, voice light as she gave him a little smile. She rose up on her toes and pecked his cheek. “Let’s go pack you a bag.”

---------------------

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#catfish x oc #catfish x ofc #frankie morales #francisco morales #catfish fanfic #fucken triple frontier #you're my home fanfic #frankie morales fanfic #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfic #catfish fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfiction #frankie morales fanfiction #frankie morales x oc

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the--blackdahlia · 5 years ago

Text

It’s So Easy (And Other Lies) Chapter 27

Title: It’s So Easy (And Other Lies) Chapter 27

Summary: Stevie Adler likes Duff McKagan. She has for a while now, but she is convinced Duff doesn’t like her that way. Duff likes Stevie, but so does their new bandmate Axl Rose.

Chapter Warnings: Language, this one is gonna be kinda sad. Just a heads up

AN: Thank you all for the feedback!!

The concert was going great. Hope was loving it, even though Stevie could tell that she was getting tired. But tomorrow, they would be heading back to Seattle while the boys headed on to their last stop, so Stevie wanted to make the most of it. They had made it through some of the rougher songs, Izzy singing the few that he was allowed to, before it came time for one of their slower songs.

Lighters were up and shining as they broke into “Patience”. The tour was almost done and they’d be heading back home before they knew it. Axl knew they’d all scatter until Geffen set up another tour. Axl closed his eyes as he listened to the drum part Stevie had helped Matt set up, and he started singing through the song like it was second nature.

Until he came to a line, that any other time didn’t do anything to him, but today, it seemed to trigger a memory.

“I sit here on the stairs 'cause I'd rather be alone

If I can't have you right now, I'll wait, dear”

Axl had just parked and was heading towards the apartment when he saw Izzy sitting on the stairs of their apartment. Izzy was scribbling into a notebook, working on a song. They hadn’t quite made it yet, but Axl trusted Izzy to write their hits to launch their career.

“Iz?” Axl asked. “What are you doing?”

“Locked out,” Izzy told him, not looking up. “Was gonna go hang out at the rat trap with Stevie, Slash, and Duff, but Stevie’s at work, which means Duff’s there. And I don’t like Slash’s snakes.” Axl sat on the stairs by Izzy and looked over his shoulder.

“Watchya working on?” He asked, reading the lyrics that Izzy had scribbled on the page.

“I, uh, it’s a personal song for you…” Izzy stated before his heart started racing. “To sing to Stevie to maybe woo her.”

“Oh really?” Axl read the lyrics and smiled. “I like it.”

“Yeah?” Izzy looked at Axl, who was smiling at him.

“I like everything you write man,” Axl elbowed him a little bit. “Come on, let’s get inside.”

Axl’s body seemed to be running on autopilot as the memory played in his head, because he was still singing the song, but he was also staring at Izzy, who was focused on something very interesting on the stage. It all hit Axl like a brick wall then. Something he had never realized before, but now it was all coming at him.

The song was never for Axl to sing to Stevie.

The song was Izzy talking to Axl.

After the concert, Duff and Stevie went off to spend one last night as a family before Stevie headed back to Seattle, and the other guys went off to find their own things to do. Izzy was heading towards his room when Axl stopped him.

“Izzy, can we talk?” Axl asked.

“Not now,” Izzy shook his head. “Maybe later.” Whatever Axl wanted to tell him, Izzy wasn’t really in the mood to hear. So he headed into his room and shut the door, leaving Axl out in the hallway.

“Come on man,” Dizzy grabbed his arm. “There’s a bar with our name on it.” Axl looked back at Izzy’s door. He wanted to talk to the guitarist, but he figured that it could wait until another day. He headed out with the others to go to the bar.

****

“I’ll see you soon my little princess,” Duff told Hope as they stood outside the gate at the airport, waiting for Stevie and Hope’s flight to Seattle to be called. “You be good for mommy, okay?” He tickled her foot, making her laugh and kick her legs.

“You’ll be home before you know it,” Stevie smiled and kissed Duff gently.

“I love you,” He told her, staring into her eyes. “Thanks for coming out with us.”

“Anytime,” She smiled up at him. “I love you too.”

“Oh my god, you guys are so sweet I’m getting diabetes,” Slash grumbled. Izzy slapped his arm.

“We’ll see you later Stevie,” Izzy told her. Hope babbled at Izzy, almost like she was saying bye too. Their flight was called and Duff gave Stevie one more kiss before she boarded.

“I miss them already,” Duff sighed. Slash stuck his finger in his mouth and made a gagging motion while Izzy laughed. “You two are assholes.”

“What did I do?” Izzy asked. Duff walked past them, shaking his head.

“Come on losers, we need to get to New York City!” He called to them, and they followed him out of the airport.

****

Axl had tried to talk to Izzy a couple times on the ride to New York, but Izzy would blow him off. Izzy wasn’t in the mood to deal with him after the way he had acted at Stevie and Duff’s wedding. So Izzy always found other things to do to avoid the oncoming storm.

The final concert of the tour was going great. The crowd was eating it up, just like all of them had. But everyone was excited to head back to LA, Duff was itching to get back to Seattle. Axl wanted to start another album right away, not wanting it spaced out as much as Appetite for Destruction and Use Your Illusion had been. But he had agreed to give everyone a little time off to relax.

They had just gotten done doing “Double Talkin’ Jive” and Axl took his spot at the piano to do “November Rain”. As the song started, he looked up at Izzy. If Izzy didn’t want to talk to him on the bus, maybe he would listen to the words.

Nothin' lasts forever. And we both know hearts can change.

Izzy was looking off to the side, glancing at Duff who had seen Axl’s stares at the guitarist. Axl continued to sing, just wanting Izzy to look his way.

If we could take the time to lay it on the line, I could rest my head just knowin' that you were mine.

Everyone seemed to sense the extra emotion that Axl was putting into words. The crowd loved it. But Izzy did not. So he refused to look at the frontman.

So if you want to love me, then darlin' don't refrain

“What is he doing?” Dizzy asked, leaving over to ask Matt.

“I don’t know man. Axl’s weird,” Matt replied. Dizzy nodded and went back to his part.

The song was over and they started a faster song, which seemed to set the tone for the rest of the concert, it was speeding by quickly. They took their bows and headed back to the hotel. Izzy went to his room and shut the door. There was a knock, and Izzy expected it to be Axl, but there was another voice that sure wasn’t the redhead.

“Izzy? Can we come in?” He heard Slash. Opening the door, he saw Duff and Slash standing there.

“What’s up guys?” He asked, letting them into his room.

“Is everything okay?” Duff asked in return.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?” Izzy flopped back down on his bed and lit a cigarette.

“You’ve been avoiding Axl like he has the plague,” Slash pointed out. Izzy shrugged.

“So?” Izzy asked. “I have a right to avoid him.”

“Isn’t he your best friend?” Duff asked, to which Izzy sighed.

“You heard the song. Nothin’ lasts forever and we both know hearts can change,” Izzy took a puff off his cigarette. “We’re band mates. Nothing more, nothing less. Now, I’d like to get some sleep before we make the trip back to LA, okay?”

“Okay,” Duff sighed. “See you in the morning man.” Him and Slash walked out of Izzy’s room. “I have a bad feeling.”

“Fuck, don’t say that,” Slash sighed. “Let’s just get home and relax?”

“Yeah,” Duff nodded before heading to his room to get some sleep.

****

They were all chilling on the bus, leaving New York. They had gotten through New Jersey in record time, and were now in Pennsylvania. Duff was staring out the window, minding his own business. Everyone was trying to. Axl had woken up on the wrong side of the bed and was letting everyone have it from the moment management woke them up until they got on the bus.

But Dizzy couldn’t stand the silence anymore, so he decided to speak up.

“This tour has kicked our asses,” Dizzy told them. “I’m tired as fuck. I didn’t know it was going to be this hard.”

“Well it might not have been this bad if Stevie wasn’t such a selfish bitch and got pregnant, then thought she had to bring her kid on tour with us,” Axl snapped. Slash felt Duff’s muscles tensing as he got angry. He was about ready to say something to the frontman, tired of the constant poking at Stevie, when a blur of black clothing jumped up and got in the redhead’s face.

“Will you shut your fucking mouth?” Izzy snapped. Everyone froze at Izzy’s sudden outburst. “I’m so sick and fucking tired of it!”

“Well, if you don’t like it, you know where the door is,” Axl rolled his eyes. He thought it was an empty invitation, that Izzy would never respond to it. But then Izzy said something that he never in a million years thought he would hear him say.

“Okay. I quit,” Izzy told him, calmer than his normal chilled personality. “Stop the bus!” He shouted to the driver.

“Izzy, wait,” Slash tried to stop him, but Izzy grabbed his bags and had his guitar case on his back. Axl just stared at him, not really sure how to process this. Izzy had been his longest friend, they had been through everything together, and now he was leaving. The bus stopped and Izzy stepped off.

“I’ll talk to him,” Duff quickly got off the bus after him, watching as Izzy started walking in the opposite direction from the way they were going. “Izzy, wait!”

“Fucking hell Duff, how can you sit there and let him talk about your wife that way?” Izzy asked, turning to look at the bassist. “If Stevie was my wife, I would’ve hit him in his balls by now. Or worse.”

“Stevie told me to just ignore him,” Duff told him. “It’s Axl. He’s just an asshole.”

“Yeah, and he loved Stevie too you know,” Izzy told him, leaving some words left unsaid. “What do you think all of this attitude and bitterness is about? Axl fucking loved Stevie, and she chose you over him.”

“I…”

“Forget it,” Izzy shook his head. “I’ll call Stevie when I get to wherever it is I’m going. Don’t want her to worry. Get on the bus Duff.” Izzy patted the bus to tell the driver he could go before he started walking again, holding out his thumb at cars, hoping to hitch a ride to someplace with an airport so he could fly someplace. Duff sighed and got back on the bus, all eyes turning to him.

“Where’s Izzy?” Slash asked, looking at his friend. Duff shook his head.

“He’s gone,” Duff sighed, settling in his seat. The bus started to move then, and Duff knew there would be lots of questions that they would have to answer to Geffen when they got back.

“Good riddens,” Axl wiped at his eyes. “We don’t need him.” He hoped that no one heard the heartbreak in his voice as he turned to look out the window.

The rest of the ride back to California was tense, no one saying much of anything.

****

“Hey Stevie,” Izzy was standing at a payphone in Philadelphia. He was honestly kinda surprised that she had answered. “How’s the kid doing?”

“She’s great. Can’t wait for all her uncles to come see her,” Stevie could sense something in Izzy’s voice. “You didn’t just call me to check up on Hope, did you?” Izzy closed his eyes for a brief moment.

“Uh, not exactly,” Izzy admitted. “I called to tell you that I just quit.”

“Quit what exactly?”

“The band,” Izzy sighed. “I can’t do it anymore. I got off the bus in the middle of nowhere. Hitched a ride to Philadelphia. I gotta catch a flight but I don’t know where I want to go…”

“Izzy...” Stevie breathed. After everything, she was surprised that Izzy had quit the band. “Wait, what do you mean you don’t know where you want to go?”

“Well, I don’t want to go back to LA right now. I guess I could fly to Indy. Maybe go see my mom or something but I’m not really in the mood for that…” He trailed off.

“Come to Seattle,” Stevie told him. “Izzy, you’re one of my best friends and I’m really worried about you. Get your skinny Midwestern ass over here.” Izzy chuckled a little.

“Sure Duff won’t be pissed to find me alone there with his wife when he comes home?” Izzy asked, already knowing the answer.

“You know he won’t,” Stevie told him. “Get a flight to Seattle and let me know what time you should be landing. Hope and I will be waiting for you.”

“Okay. I have another call to make and then I’ll get my ticket.” They said their goodbyes then Izzy dialed another number. “Hey Vince.”

“Hey man, what’s up?”

“I just wanted to tell you so you could tell the guys...I quit Guns…”

“What did Axl do?” Vince growled.

“It’s just… it’s been a long time coming,” Izzy sighed.

“Well, I’m calling bullshit on that one, but I won’t press you. But you know Tommy and Nikki will want to shake you down when I tell them.”

“Yeah, I kinda figured,” Izzy nodded. “I’m going to Seattle for a bit. I’ll let you guys know when I make it to LA.”

“Okay. And I’ll take care of Axl when he gets back here, don’t worry,” Vince told him. Izzy chuckled.

“Thanks Vince. See ya.” Izzy hung up before grabbing his things and going to book a ride to Seattle.

Forever Tags: @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogarukes @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316 @horrorpxnk @tommyleeownsme @marvelismylifffe @mrslogansixxpixx

Guns n Roses Tags: @malibubarbievince @slashscowboyboots @hauntedapricoteggsclam @bitter-13-suite @arianareirg @lucyboytom @ozzy-dumbass-of-darkness @julessworldd @solopadawan @stradlin-cold-heartbreaker @catsandacoffee @kaitieskidmore1 @heavy-metal-fucking-rules

It’s So Easy Tags: @str4nge-haze @viralwolf02 @overlyobsessedfangirl

#it's so easy and other lies #guns n roses #duff mckagan #steven adler #duff mckagan x steven adler #fanfiction

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older-brother-kit · 5 years ago

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Kit & Jace fanfic

I decided to write a fanfiction which mainly consists of Jace and Kit bonding if anyone is interested! The first chapter is on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21391924/chapters/50961505

Though I’ll also post it here :)

You’ll See (ch. 1)

Jace had never gotten to know a blood relative before.

That’s not to say he didn’t have family -he had Maryse, Alec, and Izzy after all. At one point he thought he’d had a blood sister, but, well. Thank the angel that turned out not to be true.

Jace had never really known a living blood relative before, so when Kit Herondale was discovered Jace was excited to meet him. Jace hoped that Kit would like him, though he’d never admit it out loud.

Meeting Kit hadn’t exactly gone how Jace expected it would. No touching words, no conversations about what it was like to be the last of the Herondale line. Kit didn’t even want to be a Shadowhunter, which Jace didn’t understand at all. Shadowhunters were the best, why wouldn’t you want to be one? Kit was also a kleptomaniac, which in all honesty a little entertaining. He looked like a Herondale though, and was observant as well as sarcastic. They were definitely related.

The first step to their relationship had been when Kit asked Jace’s help in picking out a weapon, and Jace swore not to disappoint. When he did end up giving Kit the Herondale knife and Kit had thanked him, he couldn’t help but feel proud. Clary just rolled her eyes when he told her that, but she also seemed to be happy for him. She knew the value of family as much as he did.

Then the battle happened, and Kit went to live with Jem and Tessa. (Jace approved. Tessa was the best, and Jem was the nicest person he’d ever met.) Jace vowed to visit and get to know Kit. He’d only really talked about it vaguely with Clary and Alec, but he wanted Kit to like him. He wanted to be family.

He decided to make his first visit a month after Kit began living with Jem and Tessa, allowing him time to settle in a bit and hopefully get comfortable enough to want to talk to him.

Jace knocked on the front door, and was about to ring the doorbell before the door swung open and Kit’s head peaked out.

“Happy to see me?” Jace grinned at Kit, who looked shocked. “Most people are.”

“Do you greet everyone like that?” Kit asked, raising an eyebrow and still not opening the door all the way. His eyes flickered to the bag that Jace was holding in his right hand, but didn’t say anything about it.

“Only my blood relatives,” Jace replied, and watched Kit’s curious expression change to one a little more hesitant. “Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

“Right. Come in, I guess.” Kit held open the door for him, and Jace walked in and admired the house. He was especially interested in the pictures of Tessa’s other children Lucie and James, but decided that he could look at those another time.

“So,” Jace started after turning back around to face Kit, who was standing there awkwardly. “I got you something.”

Kit’s blue eyes widened, but then Jace blinked and Kit’s face was back to looking like he would rather be anywhere else. “Oh. Um… You didn’t have to do that.”

Kit shifted a bit and rubbed at his arm, and Jace couldn’t help but be thankful that he was much smoother when he was Kit’s age.

“Well, I did.” Jace stated, and pulled a jacket out of the bag he was carrying. It was pale blue, and had NYC printed on the back in large letters. He offered it to Kit, who took it with both hands.

“It’s soft,” Kit said, and Jace could see the slight upturn of his lips. Success. Jace was glad he didn’t embarrass himself by getting Kit something he wouldn’t like.

“I knew you’d like it,” Jace said proudly, grinning again. “I picked it out, after all. I have impeccable taste.”

“It’s nice,” Kit said, feeling the inside. Jace knew it was a great jacket for Kit. He had great taste. “But is there -I mean, do you need something? Why are you giving me this?”

“Because I wanted to.” Jace answered, absolutely not saying ‘Because we’re family’ as even he had limits. “What,” he teased, “Never had a gift straight from the heart?”

Jace didn’t realize his mistake until Kit’s slight smile was replaced with a guarded look.

“Yeah, well, there’s no heartfelt gifts to get when there’s no one that has you in their heart in the first place.” Kit cringed after his bitter reply, as if realizing what he had just said. “Sorry. Forget that. I’m… Thank you for the jacket.”

Jace wasn’t sure what to say in the face of this new development, and wished more than anything that Clary was there with him. Clary would know what to say, he thought. She always does. “Perhaps that was not the best choice of words.”

Kit sighed, and reached up to move a few golden strands of his hair away from his forehead. “It’s fine. I’m sorry. It just made me think of the past, I guess. Made me think of my dad.”

“Did your dad often give you gifts?” Jace asked, hoping that was a safe question.

Kit laughed, but there wasn’t any joy in it. “No, never.” he said, his tone amused but his face holding the sadness underneath.

“Oh.” Jace said, and tried to think of something eloquent or witty to say to change the subject.

“I don’t think he ever really loved me, anyway.” Kit blurted out, and his ears instantly flushed red with embarrassment. “Sorry. I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I don’t -you can leave, if you want. You don’t have to feel obligated just because I’m a Herondale.”

The puzzle pieces clicked together, and Jace realized exactly what he was dealing with.

“I’m here because I want to be.” Jace announced, with a rare expression of seriousness on his face as he looked Kit directly in the eyes. Kit didn’t look away. “I’m not here because I feel an obligation to you, or because I feel sorry for you, or because anyone made me. I’m here because I want to get to know you. I got you the jacket because I like you, and was hoping you would like it and like me. That’s all.”

It was definitely more than he had wanted to give away, and revealing that much of his emotions was usually reserved for a select few. Jace hoped that that he didn’t look as uncomfortable as he suddenly felt, and had to stop himself from making a joke about being too emotional to lighten the mood.

“Okay,” Kit whispered. He was staring intently at the floor tile.

“Well,” Jace said, after a moment of silence in which Kit continued to look at the ground. “I better be getting back to Clary. I’m sure she’s missing me already.” As he walked by Kit, he made the split second decision to ruffle Kit’s hair.

Kit followed Jace to the door and watched him open it, but before Jace walked out Kit called to him. “Thanks,” he said, and Jace looked over at him to see a shy smile. “For the jacket.”

“You better take good care of it,” Jace called back, and smirked. “The Great Jace Herondale gave it to you.”

“Oh, wow,” Kit deadpanned. “I’m honored.”

“You should be. I’ll bring you something else the next time I visit, too.”

“Next time?”

“Next time.”

Kit smiled, a full one this time, and Jace congratulated himself as he started to walk away. “Bye Christopher!” he yelled.

“It’s Kit!” was yelled back before the door closed.

Jace took out his phone and texted Clary to come get him, and it was only after he put his phone back in his pocket that he realized he was smiling.

He had a lot to tell her about.

#the first fanfiction I've ever posted here!#jace herondale #kit herondale #the mortal instruments #the dark artifices #the infernal devices #the shadowhunter chronicles #tmi #tda #tid #tsc #fanfiction #my post #my writing #tuser-ellie

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crushedbyhyperbole · 5 years ago

Text

Promises - Chapter Five

Chapter Summary: Salaciously the seduction goes down. The situation and the proposition have Bucky feeling uncomfortable. What can he do when he's simultaneously offered something he's always wanted and put in a position to lose it all?

Warnings: Drunkenness and bad flirting. Did I mention the flirting is terrible XD

PROMISES MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST | MOBILE MASTERLIST

Belated Prologue Pt 4 - The Proposition

In the morning, Bucky woke up to the smell of coffee brewing. Izzy stood in his open-plan kitchen hunched forward and leaning against the counter for support.

She must be feeling real rough, Bucky thought.

“Morning.” His voice was croaky with sleep.

“Morning.” Izzy didn’t even have the energy to be startled. “Coffee?”

“Please.” He sat up and allowed himself a moment before standing to go to the bathroom. The last thing he needed was to be exhibiting morning wood to his guest. “There’s bagels in the fridge.” He said from the bathroom before closing the door.

Izzy looked cute with her hair all tousled, and ridiculously comical with mascara smears under her eyes. Bucky smirked at her when he accepted the mug of coffee from her.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He smirked again as she checked her reflection out in the chrome surface of the kettle.

“Oh, fuck you!” She rolled her eyes and turned her back.

“How you feeling?” He asked after his cup was half gone. His caffeine levels were directly proportional to the amount of socialising he was prepared to do first thing after waking.

“Peachy.” Sarcasm exuded from her tone. “I had a wonderful night.”

“Yeah you seemed to be enjoying yourself until some point down the I495.” Bucky smirked into his cup. “Wanna tell me what happened with Brad?” He’d gotten the drunk version last night but the sober version would be more reliable. “Was it really that bad?”

“It’s not bad like ‘I propositioned my best friend for sex’ bad or anything like that, but it’s pretty bad.”

Bucky didn’t know whether to laugh or be shocked. So he did both. Practically inhaling his coffee and spluttering into the cup. It wasn’t exactly a voluntary choice.

Izzy looked concerned for a moment until Bucky held his hand up to say he was ok. He wiped the coffee off his chin before looking at her with a sad smile.

“I’m so sorry, Bucky.” She had tears in her eyes. “You were so good to me and I had to go be a pathetic, whiny, needy mess. I didn’t mean to push any boundaries.”

“I meant what I said.” He spoke quietly. His heart was hammering in his chest; excitement, terror, and more.

“Huh.” It was more a surprised noise than a query.

“I said I’d think about it. And I would still do that.”

“You also said you’d get a pinky promise tattoo so is that still on the cards?” She laughed mischievously.

He could tell it was a deflection and he didn’t care. He’d have her however she chose to be with him, obviously the more of her time he got, the better. He’d get a tattoo for her, no questions asked.

“What if it is?” He teased back.

She laughed, grinning big. “Oh Barnes, you’re so gonna regret saying that.” She tried to hide her amusement in her cup just like he had, but her smile made her eyes twinkle in just the right kind of way that had him staring at her, wishing she’d look at him like that for ever.

“Yeah, yeah, bring it on!”

The tattoos became a reality. They both got the word promise tattooed on the inside of their right pinky finger in the Izzy’s cursive handwriting. Steve became part of the pact too, which made Bucky feel it was a little less special but he approved nonetheless, and it did take some of the tension out of it for him. Having her handwriting tattooed on his skin bound her irrefutable to him. He needed only to glance at it and he got a tingly feeling in his stomach. It was like her mark on him, permanent and heart-felt.

It was a couple of weeks after that when the whole friends with benefits thing came up again.

Izzy was at Starks with a few of her girlfriends from the office. The tall blonde with a huge rack had been hitting on him at the bar all night and, although Bucky had no qualms bedding someone who pursued him that hard, he didn’t want to mess with any of Izzy’s friends or colleagues. He loved and respected her too much to do that. Despite the blonde being salacious, he had to decline.

Bucky came over to the table to collect empties and to check in with Izzy.

“You good? Need anything?” He asked, leaning over to scoop up a few bellini flutes.

“We’re getting table service from bar manager Barnes?” Izzy was practically flirting with him.

“You came over to see me, didn’t you, sugar?” The blonde, Claire, said as she seductively trailed her finger around the rim of her glass.

Bucky laughed short and nervous, his adam’s apple bobbing slightly before his tongue made a quick pass of his upper lip. He felt so damn uncomfortable. A quick glance at Izzy revealed her amusement.

Well, this is going to get more awkward before it’s over. He thought with a sigh.

“Would you be a darling and rustle up a couple of my favourite cocktail? No one in the whole of New York makes them like you do, Buck.” She bit her lip purposefully, glancing down to his mouth and back up to his eyes.

He frowned slightly. Very confused.

What the hell kind of game was Izzy playing? This was uncharacteristically flirtatious, forward, predatory, whatever the hell you wanted to call it; this wasn’t normal.

Bucky nodded slowly.

“You better leave me a good tip though.” He winked at the other women, suddenly feeling like it was a game he’d been enlisted to play. He didn’t want to make Izzy look stupid so he decided he’d bite. “You ladies got to appreciate a man with skills.”

That got a titter of giggles from them all.

Delivering the cocktails himself had been a bit of a mistake. The ladies insisted Bucky sit with them a little while and Izzy was more than happy to continue tormenting him. She teased her cocktail straw with the tip of her tongue before taking it between her lips for a sip, eyes fluttering closed in pleasure, a little nasal moan escaping before she swallowed.

His palms were getting sweaty just watching her.

“You’re so hot.” One of the ladies said, leaning in to touch his thigh.

Bucky laughed, looking down and shaking his head, embarrassed. Women had told him that before but he’d never sat at a table with the girl of his dreams and had other women try to bed him. This was all too much.

“That’s the cocktails talking.” He deflected.

“Cock-what? Yes, please!” Someone said, earning themselves a round of lewd laughter.

There was no hint of jealousy in Izzy’s face or her body language. It was like a neon sign to him that she didn’t feel anything other than something platonic for him. She was watching him, intrigued and mischievous.

“Just feel how hard that is.” The woman said, inviting the others to touch his leg. “All that perfectly toned muscle.” She sighed.

“What would it take for me to have you in my bed tonight?” The blonde, Claire, was relentless.

Bucky blushed hard, laughing again as his nerves got the better of him. Izzy shouldn’t be okay with this, he was supposed to be her friend and he was uncomfortable as hell in this situation. He wished he hadn’t played along in the first place.

Shaking his head and with a bashful smile he could barely make eye contact with any of them. Blushing hard he protested. “Stop… You’re making me blush.”

That earned him a round of ‘awww, so cute’ from them all. He really couldn’t win.

Izzy’s eyes hadn’t left him and when he stood to leave, making excuses of tending bar and cleaning up, she followed him to the bar.

“Can I get you something?” He was a little short with her but she didn’t notice.

She had seemed only tipsy at the table but now he saw she was pretty damn drunk.

“Remember that conversation?” She said playfully.

“Which one?” They’d had thousands of conversations over their many years of friendship, he probably could remember all of them but he was clueless as to what she was getting at without a pointer or two. “The one about the end of the world? Who we’d have on our team?” That was one from a couple of days ago.

“No.” She was deadly serious now, it gave him chills. “In your room, the night you picked me up from Long Island.”

“Oh.” Suddenly the air was oppressive and his mouth dry. “Um, okay, yeah. What about it?”

“I’ll be wanting your answer now, Barnes.”

He kind of liked this side of her, boldly asking for what she wanted. The way she looked at him then sent a tingle over his scalp and down his spine right to his cock.

This can’t be happening.

“Right now!?”

“Right now.” Her lips curled subtly in a lopsided but flirtatious smile.

“You’ve been drinking and I would hate to take advantage…” Bucky trailed away as Izzy shook her head.

“Who’s taking advantage?” Her laugh was bright and completely her. “You did not just see yourself get torn to pieces by that pack of lionesses over there.”

She had a point but still, he wouldn’t feel right about this at all. It had to be sober or nothing.

“What about the rules?” He became aware of a customer waiting. “One sec.” He gave Izzy a placatory look.

Bucky filled the order and came back to her a few minutes later. She’d finished her drink and pushed the glass towards him, slowly, her fingers trailing up the stem through the condensation on the side to the rim where she circled with her index finger. Her tongue slowly traced her upper lip as she stared him down.

Christ! She was trying to seduce him. Not trying. Succeeding. What the hell was this? What had changed?

“Rules, you say?” Even her voice was pitched lower, more sultry. “I can do rules.”

Maybe he should just tell her that she didn’t have to make all this effort, that he was hers already and always would be, for as long as she wanted him to be.

“I can’t believe I’m agreeing to this.” He chuckled ironically.

“So it’s a ‘yes’ then?” Was that hope he saw glint in her eye?

Had he said ‘yes’? His answer should be no. Their friendship might get ruined and then he’d be without her in his life at all. But then again what if she grew to love him, was that not worth a risk?

“Conditional approval, pending suitable rules.” He couldn’t help the playful smile that spread across his face. “And sobriety.”

Izzy was smiling too and she looked stunning, stood there with flushed cheeks and twinkling eyes. Maybe drunk was a good look on her, hell every look was good on her.

I’m so fucked.

“You’re gonna make me wait for it?” She teased but seemed more than a little disappointed.

“Damn right I am.” Bucky flirted. “I’m not the sort to put out on the first date.”

“You totally are!” Her head dipped forward as she laughed, snorting like a pig in the middle which made them both laugh harder.

“Alright, alright, so maybe I am.” He chuckled as she came down from her laughing fit. “But you shouldn’t.” And he was serious again. “Text me tomorrow when you’re not drunk.”

Izzy actually groaned in frustration. What had gotten into her?

“Now, go on! Scoot.” He flapped her away from the bar with both hands.

His face burned but not as much as the fire in his chest. Simultaneously terrified and excited, he could barely focus on his work for the rest of the night. Tony grumbled that he wasn’t giving the customer his full attention, and the old man was right, Bucky wasn’t. He put on a smile when his whole soul was racked with bewilderment. He didn’t know if he wanted her to forget what she’d asked of him or if he wanted her to take this idea of hers in both hands and never let it go. One thing Bucky knew for sure, he was never going to be able to say no. Not to her. Not ever.

Continue to chapter six >>>

A/N: I just want to say thank you to anyone who is reading this. I kind of feel like this things is a giant flop or that Tumblr still hates me and won’t let any of the chapters for this show up in searches. But if you are reading, I won’t let this be a forgotten work because the story is so close to my heart. If I do lapse though, feel free to kick me up the arse.

Tagging @renxzs because you are so invested already and I love you for your dedication to this thing <3

#bucky barnes x ofc #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky fanfic #bucky x ofc #friends to lovers #bucky barnes fanfic #promises #my writing

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