#i’m so normal abt bullets era

[crowscacophony]

its freak-frackin 2017 boi ^-^

I need to write something but mouthwashing has me in a state of shock still I feel like curly’s barely conscious body bruh he’s literally me. (Not a spoiler this is literally revealed in the first five minutes I promise) I need some kohls brainrot but unlike Jimmy I CAN TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY ACTIONS fuck Jimmy all my homies hate Jimmy mouthwashing 

I was going to do some historical fangstitch but despite my favorite fanfic I’ve ever read being about wwii and fleeing nazism I cannot bring myself to actually write anything even though I have some really cool (I have to keep telling myself that it’s okay for things to be historically accurate even though the vocabulary used *specifically for Crow and his Romani heritage* would be entirely different and it’s better to be tasteful) ideas

So instead. We’re embracing the cringe.

WELCOME TO THE YEAR 2017 BITCHES

Mid to late 2010s fandom was an insane mess. No one knew how to act. No one was anywhere near normal. I was there. I remember it all too well. The era of flower crowns and cell shaded big eyes and Hamilton animatics. Good God it was like being on crack with a bunch of closeted queers 

And I keep seeing the “mouthwashing if it was released in 2016 posts” where people are drawing the characters in flower crowns and big sweaters and “smol beans” and “cinnamon rolls :3” and it’s like a bullet to the brain. And I LOVE it. Give me more.

So. The Dalseum Duet if it was released in 2017. Let’s fuckin pretend. 

The people of 2017 fandom would be cancelled left and right today and I’m going to revel in that for a minute.

An entire cast of characters of color is not really ideal. Because we saw what happened to Hamilton. Here are my predictions for the most cancellable race offenses:

People just cannot draw Sara. They can’t fathom that her skin is dark. They keep coloring her this weird ashy mid-toned color and squishing her face to make her look “cuter.” 

Marie gets whitewashed to high hell. She’s supposed to be cutesy and feminine and the people of 2017 could not fathom that she has darker skin than Crow

Same with Adam. He would 100% get “smol bean” woobified. Someone literally just does not realize that he’s black. Art of him but white (out of pure ignorance, not malice) is posted on a prominent artist’s tumblr and never mentioned until someone digs it back up in 2020

I would say something abt Noeul but people act even worse abt “”morally gray”” East Asian men in 2024 so  just go looking yourself if you’re desperate for people saying weird shit. Dw we get to him later

Multiple people come forward saying they didn’t know Cambodia was even a country before reading Heartstrings

still an issue but people just don’t know how to draw Asian features. they all look white for some reason. 

crow always has straight hair. for some reason.

Other related offenses 

Gale is always drawn either too skinny or something is evidently proportionally incorrect 

Where. Where are Crow’s mobility aids guys

The Charlie hate posts. “she’s so annoying omg she thinks everything revolves around her! terrible main character” when she’s just a woman trying to escape an unsafe situation 

People are just not normal about crow being trans (to be expected no matter what year tbh)

“my smol trans bb 🥺 my little bean protecc him *GUYS DID YOU CATCH THAT I SAID HIM!! HIM NOT SHE I’M AN ALLY* at all costs”

your smol bb just watched someone get decapitated and didn’t flinch but. okay

people exaggerate sonnet’s proportions so ridiculously. is this transphobic or are you just numb to the furry proportions of animation memes bc their hips cannot possibly be that large 

A LOOK AT THE FANDOM

So many theatre kids who can’t communicate to anyone effectively. So many. Think Percy Jackson of eras bygone meets the Heathers animatic era. 

The most viewed video is an animatic of Sara telling off Noeul after the trial set to “Congratulations” from Hamilton. 

And now. Just know that this hurts me to say bc this album is my guilty pleasure but not a pleasure bc it hurts me to listen to some of these songs. Sigh. 

Panic! at the Disco’s album “Death of a Bachelor” released in 2016, shifting the edgy fandom space forever. 

The Council fanart. The animatics. Were edits a thing at this time? Fuckin PMVs? Idk. BUT GOOD GOD. EVERY SINGLE SONG ON THAT ALBUM. THERE WILL BE 100 COUNCIL ANIMATICS AT THE LEAST FOR EACH ONE. ALL IN THE SAME EXACT ARTSTYLE YOU KNOW THE ONE

THE FANART EDITS. GOD. NOEUL WITH HIS EYES BLACKED OUT WITH A BAR WITH LIKE “Fifty words for murder and I’m every single one of them” WRITTEN ACROSS IT HAHAHAHAAAAA his touch is black and poisonous guys. eyes like broken Christmas lights fr

PEOPLE GET SO CORNY OVER THIS MAN. SO CORNY. LIKE. HE MIGHT AS WELL BE TORD. THAT IS THE EXACT TREATMENT HE GETS

oh yeah and Jason Dean too. the comparisons of costco to JD and Veronica. dead girl walking animatics galore 

people made JD’s entire personality slushies even though he committed so many crimes. Noeul’s personality is reduced to bulgogi but no one can pronounce it so it just keeps getting worse

people woobify the fuck out of Sonnet. drawing them in big sweaters and flower crowns and sh scars on comically “thicccc” thighs bc they were “suicidal 🥺” (because they were “depwessed” not bc their marriage was fucking loveless and they no longer recognize who they are) and they have pretty pink hair. they tried to murder an innocent woman folks

unironic sams club shippers. “they should have gotten back together after the end! they did!! here is my fanart of Adam (ace mlm who has been severely traumatized by sonnet’s actions) and Sonnet (body has been borderline botched by “gender affirming surgery” and just watched their husband get slaughtered by their daughter in front of their own eyes. cannot form a cohesive sentence due to addiction to a variety of substances) 

I’m. I’m going to bed but I will add on to this. Because I find it really funny. 

Anyway. Just throwing the image of smol bean-ified Kai in your brain. @svwhssftr Big eyelashes and big blue sweater. Shark plushie. His eyes are blue and suspiciously round. Why does he have visible tits guys this isn’t… He doesn’t even have a face anymore. Bitch is built like captain curly. He is a fucking menace with an undiagnosed personality disorder. But yeah. Yeah smol trans bean (white..?) Kai. Perfect. Exactly. Sorry for that attack of psychological warfare. Thank you 2017 for your service in fandom history

[lucky-sevens]

assorted mechs headcanons!

@velcrooooo @classpecting @cassianfaux thank you so much for validating me i am going to infodump now. not organizing this bc this isn’t a meta or a compilation post and i’m feeling like living the wild life. am gonna put this under a cut though bc it got long jklsad;fjklsdafkla; most of it is me going on abt the aurora design and then some of my scuzz/brian thoughts and a weirdly poetic nastyaurora thought

-dr carmilla has two doctorates; in biomedical engineering and philosophy

-drumbot brian isn’t a pushover- in fact, he’s actually very stubborn! on moral issues, of course, but also just in general- he’ll decide on an opinion and refuse to change it, even when a situation continues to get worse (though he’s been worn down a bit from millennia of dealing with the mechanisms)

-his switch doesn’t get flipped around that often! when he has it on one setting or the other, he finds it incredibly hard to rationalize changing it, because he feels like his current morality is correct. the other mechs don’t flip it, either, because like. it’s treated vv lightly in some fanworks but it really is a huge violation of his boundaries to do without consent

-scuzz was a full-on mechanism, and was part of the crew for a long time! she was quite hotheaded, and ended up leaving the crew over an argument that got out of hand. later, she tried to find them, but that was when they were fleeing carmilla and so actively trying to avoid detection, so she gave up.

-aurora was really small, especially at first! she’s been expanded over the years due to nastya and tim’s additions, but especially during the carmilla era they were really struggling for space. several of the mechs had to room together; bit of a timeline below

         -carmilla and jonny: they don’t have the aurora at this point, just a vv small, breaking-down ship she stole from the new texan government that i have overdescribed in my fic quite a lot

         -carmilla, jonny, nastya, and aurora: aurora hasn’t been expanded very much, as nastya’s still figuring out how to be an engineer! so they all live in the main body of the ship, which at the time had two very small bedrooms with one bed each- carmilla converted hers into a lab and proceeded to get a very unhealthily low amount of sleep and sometimes just pass out on the ground, whilst jonny and nastya shared a room in theory but then nastya and the aurora got together and so she started sleeping in the engine room

         -carmilla, jonny, nastya, and ashes: since nastya sleeps in the engine room now, jonny and ashes are roommates for a while. they get zero (0) hours of sleep because they keep bothering each other. it’s not a good arrangement but it’s also where jonny and ashes get a lot of their weird inside jokes from so they presumably bonded

       -carmilla, jonny, nastya, ashes and scuzz: no one knows where scuzz sleeps. she’s quite short/skinny, so she can fit in a lot of places. occasionally jonny will open a cupboard or whatever and find her inside. space is still made quite a bit tighter with the addition of a new member, though. (the aurora only has one bathroom and jonny spends four hours in there doing his makeup every day already!) nastya gets frustrated enough to start working on a gravity pod.

      -carmilla, jonny, nastya, ashes, scuzz, and ivy: nastya finished a gravity pod a couple years before she came on, and spent a while using it as a blissful escape from the chaos of the mechanisms before ivy joined up and she was bullied into letting her have it. ivy ends up converting most of it into a library, but unlike carmilla and her lab she still uses it as a bedroom as well.

          -carmilla, jonny, nastya, ashes, scuzz, ivy, and drumbot brian: he refused to room with anyone for a while, which lead to a lot of him huddling up in the pilot’s seat with only a blanket to keep him warm and sadness to keep him company (which honestly was still preferable to one of the mechs doing it instead). eventually, when nastya finishes the second gravity pod (quite a bit faster than the first, as she’s gotten into the groove of it now!), brian gets to take it. she also finishes a third one around this period, which ashes takes, so jonny finally has a room to himself. it is now the worst room on the ship, as the gravity pods are significantly larger and more comfortable. jonny bitches about this for a couple centuries.

           -carmilla et al and the toy soldier: not many changes here! the toy soldier rooms with ivy and they get along splendidly! this is also when scuzz leaves- obviously, that makes quite a big change to the dynamics of everyone and everyone’s emotions, but she didn’t have a room so it’s not too relevant for these headcanons and i’d like to think through my thoughts abt that a bit more/put them in fic form instead of bullet point headcanons.

          -jonny, nastya, ashes, ivy, drumbot brian, ts, and tim: carmilla has been airlocked, but no one’s willing to go in her lab. there’s some odd shuffling around because at first tim doesn’t get on with anyone, and then he doesn’t get on with anyone but nastya and third wheeling with that kind of thing is incredibly awkward, and a lot of his roommates get shot. eventually, nastya builds an o’neil cylinder (which i’ll elaborate on in the next point) and that solves most of their space issues as it’s quite big! so: by the time marius and raphaella join, there’s no super relevant headcanons here, because they both set up in their own areas on the significantly larger ship.

-nastya proposes during general snow’s revolution! they’ve finally managed to get rid of carmilla, they’re giddy and free and head over heels for each other, and amidst cannon fire and blood and war nastya laughs and is more loose with her words and her manners and her affection then she’s ever been before. they swear their love when the war is over and they are safe for sure and have to pause the ceremony because they’re laughing too hard over ‘till death do us part’. instead of a normal wedding ring, nastya unveils the project she’s been working on for millenia, an o’neil cylinder twisted into a ring that’d surround aurora fully like nastya couldn’t- yes, aurora, she’s aware she’s tiny! stop bragging! she’s taller than jonny, at least- and made of metal and gears and an unconventional twist on tradition, because they’re an unconventional couple, aren’t they?

-nastya and aurora then run off to go on a honeymoon. the rest of the mechanisms are stranded on the random planet the wedding was on for like three centuries and are very bitchy about it when the two of them finally return.

[flockofdoves]

oh last post on this tangent bc its genuinely sooo stupid of me (ive like . regressed in the parasocial relationships i build with celebrities as a whole 20 year old i guess unfortunately. trying to be normal abt it) but in refeeding from ed stuff this month and getting more visibly chubby again and also for the first time of my life having a much better grasp on both political and personal topics relating to weight and eating and stuff like set point theory

like coincidentally mcr coming back this month too and being put into some conversations with people being fatphobic and stuff wrt gerards appearance now and ofc that isnt right regardless and already didnt sit right with me even last year when i heard similar bc hes been open he had trouble with addiction and was under a lot of mental strain during parts of mcrs career he seemed clearly in a better place now leave him alone etc etc. but also now that i better understand set point theory and stuff like . they were fat or at least somewhat chubby most of their life and finding out now during danger days era they literally had an eating disorder that makes me even more angry about how people talk about this stuff with concern trolling about “health” or whatever

but also on a really goofy personal level by having that be one of the first opportunities for me to articulate what i learned that helped me realize i had a problem externally its embarrassing but something thats helped me get beyond just . the intellectual aspect of knowing how i’m being affected by these wider systems and that its ridiculous to aspire to be thinner (interestingly thats not even where my patterns of disordered eating became a genuine consistent illness there were other things at play that i didnt even recognize what i was doing but i just mean. even after all this being like ‘aw i’d like to still look less chubby tho’) and to just constantly struggle with the way my body naturally is for the rest of my life in that never ending “goal” even if i’ve never externalized that in my expectations for others to being like . gerard way has been inspiration for me for a long time in a lot of ways but i’m just referring to fashion/aesthetics and if i think he looks cool in like. old bullets era photos or now then theres literally no reason i should be thinking i personally can’t convey the Look i want to look like without putting great strain on my body.

like obviously i know that doesn’t make sense i love/admire/find attractive/etc so many people of so many body types many of whom have had personal aesthetics in their fashion sense that i really admire (and no one has to care abt fashion but i just personally think about what i wear a lot and how that factors into how i’m perceived so feeling like i can be fashionable in the way i want to be in my body is something i get stuck on) but for some reason that didn’t budge internalized shit too much til now and i’m feeling kinda dumb about it but thats where i’m at ig

also just realized this doesnt even immediately connect to what i was talking about before but i. thought about it because my hair is kinda similar in length/texture to bullets era gerard rn and looking in the mirror today because of that for the first time i wasnt like ‘if only i didnt have that fat under my chin/jaw i’d look cool. this haircut is making it more noticeable’ bc tbh their jawline looks similar in photos

of course maybe thats not the most healthy way of going about body image stuff either and it is a bit weird for sure but ig. its a start?? idk!