#i’m so SAD i was so looking forward to doing more stuff in utah….

[schisms]

☹️💔

[wonder-kid-pugh]

This isn't Funny - (Rose Lavelle x reader)

Not really up to my usual standard but I thought I would post it anyways? Hope you like it.

April 1st also known as the worst day of the year for Rose Lavelle.

The day was just an absolute pain for the midfielder. It didn't help that being apart of the Uswnt also meant putting up with the multitude of pranks that you risk the chance of stumbling apun. Being teammates with people like Sonnet, Kelley and Pinoe didn't help either.

But they were nothing compared to Y/n

Y/n L/n, Rose's beautiful, lovely girlfriend was the worst prankster on the team. No one was safe from her pranks not even Rose herself. Rose was able to reel her in once they started dating minimizing the amount of pranks she pulled. She was able to keep her in line with the threat of no cuddles or kisses. It did help that Y/n's love language was touch and she would absolutely die if she didn't get her daily cuddles from her girlfriend.

But April Fool's was an entirely different story

April fool's day was the only day she had complete uncontrollable reign over her pranks. Within reason. Rose wasn't that dumb to not to set some ground rules. So when this camp happened to roll around on April 1st it was safe to say that everyone was on high alert for one of Y/n's pranks.

Rose gently cracked open the door to the meal room. She pushed open the door fully before quickly stepping out of the door frame. But she scrunches her face when nothing happens. "It's all clear!" She hears someone inside the room.

Rose pokes her head in to see the majority of the team are down eating breakfast. Rose walks in septical of the lack of pranks, "Nothing?" Becky shrugs, "We already checked the entire room as far as we know it's prank free". Rose frowns before shaking her head, "That's not possible. Y/n loves classic pranks there's no way she didn't at least put a bucket above the door or something!"

"Maybe she slept in too late to set it up" Alyssa suggests sipping her coffee. With a quick scan of the room Rose shakes her head again, "She was already gone when I woke up I thought she would be down here". Carli hums, "Now that you mention it. It does seem too quiet down here". Christen sends the midfielder a reassuring smile, "I'm sure she's fine Rose. I'd say she's just setting up some elaborate prank to pull on the team". Rose hesitantly nods, "Yeah probably".

Waving goodbye to the older players of the team she quickly grabs some food before heading over to her usual table. "Hey Rosie" Mal hums as she sits down across from her. "Hi" she says back while digging into her scrambled eggs. "Where's the devil you call a girlfriend?" Kelley asks.

Kelley, Sonnet, Pinoe and Ash were common targets of Y/n's pranks. Purely because when she first joined the team they saw her as the perfect target for their pranks. So Y/n saw this as payback and as it as justice for all the times they pranked the rest of the team. Rose secretly knew it was because she was staking her claim as best prankster on the team but she wouldn't tell them that and start a prank war because that wouldn't end well for anyone.

Rose bites the inside of her cheek, "I don't know..." Lindsey groans, "She's probably out setting up all her pranks for today". Mal pouts, "I hate April Fool's Day. I somehow always stumble into one of her pranks".

She did. She always somehow finds a way of walking into one of Y/n's pranks meant for someone else by accident. Like the time she borrowed Lindsey's hairdryer only to get a face full of flour.

They started strategizing straight away. It was common knowledge that Y/n loved classic pranks, all the old school ones. She always made sure to pull at least one every year. But then she always upped the antee with a more elaborate prank which would leave the team in stitches on whichever poor soul happened to stumble into it.

But as they started discussing ways of avoiding Y/n's pranks, Rose couldn't help but feel nervous. By the sounds of it no one had seen the forward yet today and that didn't sit well with Rose. Hoping to ease her nerves, she texted her hoping to at least know she was okay wherever she was. But as it was getting closer to the end of breakfast and there was still no sign of her and still no text telling her whereabouts, that's when Rose started to freak out slightly.

"You okay Rose? You seem really fidgety today?" Alex asked as she passed the midfielder who kept glancing at the door. Rose bites her lip, "I'm fine it's just I haven't seen Y/n all day". Alex gives her a small smile, "I'm sure she's fine she's probably setting up some pranks somewhere". Alex balances Charlie on her hip, "I just hope she doesn't have anything planned for me". Rose waves her off, "She doesn't. She said she didn't want to risk Charlie getting caught in the crossfire and thought you earned a break with your pregnancy and all". Alex grins and at the mention of Y/n, Charlie started to gurgle happily while clapping her hands.

Kelley whines, "What? That's no fair!" "Just because Charlie has Y/n wrapped around her finger..." Sonnet grumbles. Rose rolls her eyes at the two but Alex purses her lips. "Now that you mention it, it is weird...Y/n promised to take Charlie today while I organized some business stuff" Alex say to Rose. Now this causes Rose to frown.

One thing that everyone knew was that Y/n adored Charlie. She absolutely loves the child. She was always the first to volunteer to babysit her to give Alex some time off. And Charlie was always happy to see Y/n. It was extremely cute to see the two interact and it was clear that Y/n would do anything for the littlest Morgan.

And Rose wasn't going to lie, seeing Y/n with Charlie gave her major baby fever and found it extremely attractive.

Now this causes Rose to frown, "What? That doesn't make sense. Y/n never misses a chance to play with Charlie..."  Alex shrugs, "All I know is Y/n said she would take Charlie after breakfast". This didn't ease any of Rose's nerves.

Mal sends her friend a reassuring smile, "I'm sure she's fine Rose. Maybe she just forgot. You know how she gets on April Fool's". Rose sighs, "Yes but she would never forget about hanging out with Charlie. And she still hasn't answered any of my texts".

"Okay how about this. We give it an hour and if Y/n still hasn't shown up, we have a look around for her" Sam proposes. Rose bites her lip but nods, "Fine".

But one hour turns into two and Y/n still hadn't showed up. And even after searching the entire hotel, none of the team had found their missing teammate. "Nothing?" Rose asks as Christen, Tobin, Becky and Alyssa, the last group walk in. But they all shake their heads. "Sorry Rose still no sight of her" Tobin sighs.

"There isn't even a sign of a prank anywhere" Pinoe frowns. "That's unheard of for Y/n" Crystal comments. "She still won't answer her phone" Tierna sighs after trying to call the forward again. Everyone was quiet wondering where their lost teammate could be.

"Okay hear me out" Sonnet starts causing everyone to look at her, "could this be some complex prank Y/n planned? To get us all worried about her 'missing'" But Rose was quick to answer.

"No she wouldn't do that. She loves pranks but she wouldn't take it this far" Rose says adamantly. "Has anyone tried her apartment?" Christen asked. They all look between each other.

Christen sighs, "Okay let's go". Rose bolts up and is already out the door before anyone could stop her. Thankfully camp was in Utah this month. And due to Y/n playing for the Royals she had an apartment here for during the season.

Rose had a spare key just in case of emergencies which she decided this was one of them. But even as they walked in, Rose already knew she wasn't there. Y/n had a thing with silence. She grew up in a house with 4 brothers. She never got a bit of peace and quiet. She hated silence. It's a reason Y/n always carried earphones with her. When things get too quiet she starts playing music to fill the void. So when Rose walked into a quiet apartment she knew Y/n wasn't here.

Rose takes this time to try and call her again. But she sighs when the call rings out and goes to voicemail. When the voicemail beeps Rose sighs and rubs her temple, "C'mon Y/n this isn't funny anymore. I'm really worried about you. Please call me back". She ends the call and looks around the apartment for any clues where her girlfriend could be.

Christen and the others just send her sad looks though when they search the entire apartment but find no trace of the girl. Rose felt like tearing her hair out.

But then her phone rang

She didn't even check it before she was fumbling to answer it, "Y/n?!" But instead of the cheerful voice of her girlfriend, she heard a woman speak down the phone, "Is this Rose Lavelle?" Rose squeezes the phone tighter, "Yes this is she". "I'm calling as you are the emergency contact for Y/n L/n. She was brought in earlier today for a head injury".

Rose clasped her hand over her mouth trying to stop the gasp from leaving her mouth. "Is she okay?" "She's okay. A little roughed up but she'll be fine". Rose lets out a small sigh of relief, "What hospital?" After finding out what hospital she was at and telling the team they were quickly off again. Rose was already jumping from the car before Tobin had even come to a complete stop.

Rose rushes up to the reception, "Uh hi I'm the emergency contact for Y/n L/n. I got a call she was here?" The nurse nods and checks the computer before smiling at the midfielder, "If you would follow me".

Rose followed closely behind her. When she walks into the room she sees Y/n smiling dopely at her, "Hi!" Rose stares at her stunned for a second before she takes three quick strides to her girlfriend.

"Ow!"

Y/n pouts as she rubs her arm that Rose just hit, "Why would you hit me? I'm literally in a hospital!" Rose sniffles as she slaps her arm again, "Do you know how worried I was? Why haven't you been answering your phone?" She  frowns as she takes Rose's hand in her, mostly to make sure she didn't hit her again, "My phone is shattered I couldn't answer it the screen was too destroyed".

Rose's eyes drifted up to Y/n's forehead to see stitches above her right eye and a bruise blooming on her jaw. Her hand lifted up to touch her forehead but Y/n flinched away. Rose frowns, "What happened?" Y/n pursued her lips, "I was jumped when I went out this morning to get supplies for April Fool's".

Rose frowns as her hand grazed over her bruising jaw but this time she doesn't flinch away and instead nuzzles into her touch. "I'm sorry for worrying you" Y/n whispers kissing the pad of Rose's thumb affectionately. Rose shakes her head, "I'm just glad your okay".

Y/n grins at her girlfriend, "I know it looks bad but I totally kicked their asses". Rose couldn't help but laugh, "I'm sure you did babe". Y/n raises an eyebrow, "Seriously I totally had them. They got lucky that there was two of them and they caught me off guard. Otherwise it would be them here and not me". Rose giggles and kisses her forehead gently, "Whatever you say tough guy".

"You know we would have enjoyed our prank free day if we weren't so worried about you" Sonnett teases. Everyone laughs while Y/n pouts, "I can't believe I missed April Fool's Day! I had so many good pranks planned!" The older players shook their heads at her while the younger players silently cheered at they wouldn't fall victim to her pranks.

"I know you missed April Fool's Day but I might know something that would cheer you up" Alex says stepping forward. Y/n's smile immediately brightens as she sees who sees the small child in Alex's arms, "Charlie!" The littlest member of the Carrasco Morgan Family gurgled and babbled happily and made grabby hands at the forward.

The team watch as Y/n blows a raspberry against the child's cheek causing her to sequel. They watched happily as their now found teammate plays with the small child. Rose couldn't stop the smile spreads across her face as she watches her girlfriend play with  Charlie. She couldn't help but think how great Y/n was with kids. Even though she scared the shit out of her today.

The one thing Rose did know was Y/n would be a great mother.

[multimetaverse]

HSMTMTS 2x08 Review

Most Likely To was the best ep of S2 so far and ended one ship while launching another. Let’s dig in!

Gaston was super fun, a very nice showcase for both Larry and Matt. This is the kind of energy that early S2 was lacking. Also feels like the first ep where East High might actually have a shot at beating North High. Covid restrictions played a role but we really needed to see more rehearsal scenes and scenes of the wildcats just being theatre kids. This also may be one of the last times we see EJ perform as a student in the musical so I’m glad we got this.  

EJ has been criminally underused for most of S2, he’s marketed as part of the big 4 along with Nini, Ricky, and Gina and Matt Cornett’s name is listed 3rd in the credits but in the early eps of S2 you’d think he was guest star. Lately he’s started to become more important and tonight was an excellent showcase of why he’s such an interesting character. I’m not gonna check but this feels like it’s the most EJ screen time in a single ep that we’ve gotten all season long. 

Of course, the main reason for EJ’s increased screen time is because of Portwell. I’ve been neutral on them but tonight they really won me over’ their scenes were so sweet that they warmed even my cold black heart. Matt and Sofia are good friends irl and that shines through in their easy rapport and great chemistry. Gina snorting at EJ’s joke was cute and I loved the shot of Gina accidentally walking into the shot for EJ’s confessional. As an aside, they’ve been doing some fun stuff with the confessionals lately which helps add a bit of the metaness that helped make S1 so great.

The real big Portwell scene tonight was EJ and Gina talking on the couch at Ashlyn’s. Lot’s to love there. Gina’s speech to EJ about what she sees when she thinks of him was sweet and her saying that EJ tried to do the right thing and often failed but kept trying echoes what she said of herself during her confession to Ricky. Also when EJ asked Gina if she understood the feeling of having her life mapped out she replied, ‘’not really’’ which is almost certainly the inspiration for Gina asking a question to EJ and him responding ‘’not really’’ in their pre S2 face time call on the hsmtmts instagram. 

EJ is still wracked with guilt for the guy he used to be but Gina reminds him that he’s grown and is a good guy which leads to her slip up about her seeing him that way vs the rest of the gang hinting that she’s beginning to catch feelings for EJ. Which leads to EJ complimenting her and them having a moment that could well have led to a kiss if Ashlyn hadn’t come home. And they cap it off with Gina falling asleep and EJ covering her with his Duke sweater. 

It’s been nice not seeing Gina upset over Ricky these past two eps and it’s a damning indictment of the poor writing and pacing of S2 that her story in the first 6 eps can be summed up as Gina being upset over something Ricky said or did. Not only has Portwell allowed EJ to rise in prominence but also it’s allowed Gina to escape the rut her character was stuck in pining for Ricky. 

I hope after S2 is over that we get an interview where Tim explains how the Portwell plot came to be. The S1 finale set up some possible interest between them as did the pre S2 face time call but nothing came of it during the first 4 eps, they stood next to each other a lot but barely interacted otherwise. Notably in 2x01, which Tim himself wrote, EJ tries to grow a beard and tells Ashlyn that he says her as so young which is extremely jarring now that we know that EJ is crushing on Gina who is Ashlyn’s age. 

Was Tim not set on doing Portwell until he realized he needed to give Gina something else to do other than hopelessly pine for Ricky? Narratively, it made sense after Rini got together in S1 to put the other two Big 4 characters together in S2 but did Tim not want it to seem so obvious to the audience so he deliberately kept Portwell apart until 2x05 where EJ’s feelings make for a nice plot twist? Was he just reluctant to plug EJ back into the love square due to how much more complicated it would make things but later felt he had no other options? Or was it just plain old bad pacing and writing?

Of course, I wish that there wasn’t such a large age gap between Sofia and Matt but there are no Gina ships that avoid that problem, there’s also an age gap between Sofia and Joshua, just as there was between Olivia and Joshua and Matt in S1. Depending on when they film S3 there’s a good chance that most of it will be finished before Sofia even turns 18 which is deeply unfortunate. There’s a broader issue of teen girls being cast in mostly age appropriate roles while their male love interests are older adults and in particular it often affects female characters of colour. Netflix has a really bad track record with those kind of age gaps but Disney has problems too as we’ve seen on HSMTMTS and on GMW where by the end of S3 they had 18 year old Peyton Meyer as the boyfriend of 14 year old Rowan Blanchard’s character (not to mention canon Joshaya which didn’t have such a bad age gap between the actors but was problematic regarding the ages of the characters themselves).

A knock I’ve seen on Portwell is that EJ is just gonna leave for university next year but that was never gonna happen, Matt’s under the same 4 season contract as all the other mains and he’ll be sticking around in some capacity much like Sharpay ended up doing in the movies. It is true that EJ will probably have to move on at the end of S4 while Gina still has her senior year left but that will also happen with her and Ricky since he’ll be graduating at the end of S4. It was a big mistake to make EJ a senior but it also may end up being a big mistake to make Gina a sophomore. It would have been too messy to retcon EJ to be a junior but Tim probably should have taken the chance to retcon Gina into being a junior in S2.

That Rini breakup was so sad (missed opportunity for gotta go my own way). They managed to get in a Troyella reference with the treehouse. This was inevitable they just have not been communicating well though now that we know that Ricky thought Nini left YAC for him some of his desperation to spend as much time together as possible makes more sense. I think Rini is endgame if the series has 4 seasons but it wouldn't shock me if we never seem them dating again and they only get back together in the series finale. It also wouldn’t surprise me if Nini never dates anyone else for the remainder of the series or at least not seriously. 

We’re not even halfway through the series so it’s way too early to permanently slam the door on Rini though this time apart will probably help Joshua and Olivia move on from their own bitter break up before it bleeds too much into their performances. I do wonder if Tim really has a clue what he's gonna do with them for the remaining 24-28 eps of the series, assuming S3 and S4 have 10-12 eps each. 

Roman Banks killed If I Can’t Love Her and the montage of all the couples or ex couples was great.

It was nice to finally meets some parents other than the Bowen’s and Salazar-Roberts’. Kourtney’s mom was played by Dara’s actual mother and their dynamic was great as expected. It seems from their conversation that Kourtney's father is dead which I don’t believe has been mentioned before. Cash Caswell.... well it gets what the character is about across. He really looks and sounds like a rich Utah republican, I bet he knows Mitt Romney personally. I liked EJ going to tell his father that he’s not going to Duke and recognizing that he wants to build his own life on his own merits. 

We saw a bit of that S1 Miss Jenn energy tonight which was fun though I didn't like how curt she was with Seb nor did I like how rude Carlos was to Seb although we know that blows up in 2x10. 

Jazzara rising! I really liked how Jazzara and Portwell are sort of mirroring each other and since Mazzara knows about EJ’s feelings for Gina it wouldn’t shock me if helping EJ out is part of him showing a softer side in 2x12.

Of course Ashlyn is VP of the Nostradamus society. It's clear her family has some kooky new age beliefs (her parents are probably members of some naturopathic medicine group on Facebook that doubles as a gateway into Qanon)

It was nice to see Big Red being such a good friend to Ricky and the return of Ricky’s infamous pillow hugs. Lmao at Ashlyn just chilling while Big Red is comforting Ricky

Also Miss Jenn saying sexy and Big Red referring to pillow talk, the writers are adding a bit of spice when cooking up these scripts.

Looking Ahead: 

Looks like Gina may be wearing EJ's duke sweater next ep according to some posts I saw. Jack presumably is there to somehow help Gina decide what she wants with Ricky and EJ though him having wanderlust might also feed into Gina’s thoughts on settling down in SLC or moving with her mom around the country.

Let's see what mom of the year, Lynne Bowen, has up her sleeves. Ricky’s bedroom at her place in Chicago looks much nicer than the apartment Mike Bowen has so perhaps she makes a lot more money than he does. 

Not looking forward to the Zoom portions of the ep but I guess it was inevitable. 

There’s only two paths for Gina’s story to go in the remainder of this season; either she decides to move on from Ricky and give EJ a chance or she decides that Ricky is worth trying again and squelches her budding feelings for EJ. The former looks much more likely after tonight’s ep but either way it needs to be handled with care. Inevitably Gina and Ricky need to talk about what happened between them but if Tim really wants Ricky to continue being a viable love interest or even a good friend to Gina then he needs to really have Ricky apologize and show a thoughtful, kinder side of him that’s largely been missing this season. 

What I think Tim is doing is setting up Portwell getting together in 2x12 but Ricky pining over Gina until Portwell break up late S3 and Rina get together in the S3 finale before they break up later in S4 and Ricky gets back with Nini near the end of the series. If I had Tim’s ear I would tell him that he should pick which ship he wants to do, Rina or Portwell, but don’t do both. He wants canon Rina? Great then end Portwell before it starts and have Rina happen in S3 and introduce other obstacles to them getting together rather than having to damage EJ’s character and make him lose another girl he likes to Ricky. He wants canon Portwell? Great then have Gina and Ricky’s conversation be closure for the both of them and have Gina and EJ get together and break them up without Ricky being a cause of it or waiting in the wings to get with Gina soon afterwards. Doing both will be a disaster and I truly hope that Tim Federle carefully thinks over his mistakes in S2 and really plans out the remaining 2 seasons of the series while there’s still time to prevent things from going really off the rails like GMW and AM did thanks to the bad decisions of Michael Jacobs and Terri Minsky. 

Until next week wildcats. 

[13uswntimagines]

I Might Just be Convinced (Alyssa Naeher x Solo!Reader)

Request 1: Alyssa Naeher x reader? Maybe reader is hope solo little sister.

Request 2: alyssa x reader kinda like the one you did for lindsey where she helps reader with breakup with christen?

Authors Note: Hey dudes, I combined these two requests because it felt the most natural to me. I hope you enjoy! Hit me up with Requests, Questions or if you just want to say hi! I promise i don’t bite! I hope you enjoy!

The amber liquid burned as it slid down your throat, and you sighed at the feeling. You never understood why Kelley liked this stuff. It didn’t taste good, but you supposed that that wasn’t the point. Your loan to Arsenal had just been announced, and your sister-in-law and teammates had insisted that you all needed to get drunk and celebrate. You just weren’t into it. You would have much preferred sitting in bed with a good book, and maybe some Netflix. 

“Hey, baby Solo,” Alyssa’s voice broke you out of your lamenting about the night that could have been, as she saddled up to the bar next to you, wrapping an arm over your shoulder. 

“I fucking hate that nickname,” You groaned, dowing the rest of your drink and holding your hand up for another. “That’s all I ever am. Hope’s little sister,” You grumbled, leaning forward on the bar and placing your head in your hands. 

“Is that why you’re running away to London?” Alyssa chuckled at your childishness, and you huffed. That was part of it. Hope had never played for Arsenal, and you were desperately looking for a fresh start. A start where you could showcase your skills and not be compared to her. Maybe that’s why you were a forward and not the head of the Department of Defense. But there was more to your decision. 

“That’s part of it,” You hummed, thanking the bartender as he handed you a fresh drink, turning to look at Alyssa. 

“I’m guessing that Preath is the other part of that?” She questioned, raising her eyebrow at you. Your cheeks tinted pink and you glanced over her shoulder to where Christen and Tobin were dancing. You saw Tobin’s hand placed so carefully on her hips, holding her like she was the most precious thing in the world. Christen was looking at her like she had hung the moon and stars. You had to look away when she leaned up to place a kiss on the slightly taller girl’s lips. 

“We weren’t dating, so Chris can do whatever she wants,” You grumbled, taking a sip of the terrible beer that Kelley had suggested. 

“You sure about that kid?” Alyssa questioned, placing a hand on your shoulder, her thumb running soothing circles on the back of your neck. You sighed at the feeling, allowing yourself to relax. 

“I don’t think you can count random hookups as dating” You mumbled. 

You and Christen were best friends. She was one of the only people in the world who hadn’t made assumptions about you because of who you were related to. She was a calming force to your raging anxiety, and she had been the one to comfort you after you missed the PK at the Olympics when even your own sister wasn’t talking to you. Things had progressed and you found yourselves in a friends with benefits relationship, and for a long time that had been fine. 

You knew that she was still very much hung up on Tobin, who was being an ass about commitment, and she knew that you were too afraid to chase the keeper who you were in love with. 

It didn’t make it suck any less when Christen told you that the more… intimate side of your relationship had to stop. She had tried to be kind, but the only words that you could hear over and over in your head were that you didn’t make her feel the things that Tobin did. That she didn’t love you like she loved Tobin. That the two of you couldn’t just go back to being regular friends. 

That had been the worst part. You knew that you would always be second to Tobin, but losing Christen as a friend had been a crushing blow. So you did what you do best, you had requested a trade to anywhere that wasn’t Utah, and Arsenal had taken the bate. 

“You don’t sound bitter at all,” Alyssa Snorted, ruffling your hair good-naturedly. You supposed you were on some level, but another glance at the happy couple had you shaking your head.

“I’m not. You can tell just by the way they look at each other that they’re sickeningly in love. We didn’t have that, and she deserves that,” You said softly, making eye contact with the goalkeeper. Her eyes softened at the honesty she saw in your Y/E/C orbs. You were always selling yourself short. 

“You deserve that too,” She murmured, using the back of her hand to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. A light shade of pink dusted your cheeks. Christen may have also pointed out your obvious feelings for the soft-spoken keeper. But why would she want you? She was always the second choice when Hope was in the room. Why would she want to be with someone who was related to the person who made her feel like you always felt? 

“Now you sound like Kelley,” You pouted, and Alyssa felt the corners of her lips tick up at your cuteness. 

“Squirrel has a point. You deserve someone who will treat you as well as Tobin treats Chris, or Kelley treats your sister. Someone who will hold you whether you’re happy or sad, or clothed or not,” She said seriously, cupping your face with her warm hands, and you looked anywhere but her eyes. 

“Someone who will defend a goal so I can take PK’s at three am?” You asked seriously, remembering all of the times that she had come to find you one the field at odd hours. The pitch was the only place that you felt free, and it wasn’t an uncommon occurrence for you to sneak out of camp to fire some balls at a goal. It let you think through your problem and mediated your legendary quick temper. And Alyssa always came to find you, no matter how late you stayed out. 

“Someone who will defend you as well as she defends goals if you give her the chance,” She said shyly. It was then that you noticed how close your lips had gotten to her’s. You could feel each breath fan over your face. For once in your life, you stopped overthinking, and you leaned up to close the distance. 

Her lips were soft as they moved against yours. They taste like her beer and something that was just so… Alyssa. Her tongue hesitantly pressed against your bottom lip, asking for permission to deepen the kiss, and you gave it to her. Your tongues danced together in perfect harmony like they were made for each other, and you felt something click into place inside you. How long had you been dreaming of this moment, too afraid to take this risk? You pulled away when the need for air became an issue, placing a sweet peck on her lips after a few seconds. 

“I’d really like that” You whispered against her skin, and you felt her chuckle. Her fingers tangled in the baby hairs at the back of your neck as she pulled you so you were practically sitting in her lap as she connected your lips again. 

“Think you can be convinced to not move all the way to London? That way we can see if this thing will work?” She mumbled against your lips. You sighed into the kiss, pulling away to look her in the eyes and chucking when she tried to chase your lips with her own. Technically your trade to Arsenal wasn’t final until the morning, and with a couple of calls, you could change your acceptance to the offer Chicago had sent you. It wasn’t as fresh of a start as you would have wanted but perhaps it was the start of something new. 

“I might be persuaded,” You chucked, pulling her back into you. If anyone was going to change your mind, it was the girl in front of you. She was your fresh start, and she was going to show you what a real relationship was, and why you weren’t just Hope’s little sister. 

[teacherintransition]

Inner Healing Rarely Comes From a Medicine Bottle

Confronting the pain … the loss … often alone helps you see that hope is still there.

My nephew is following the path of the ancients when life takes a devastating turn… the pilgrimage, the sojourn, an odyssey a journey to reconcile his desire for joy in life in the face of mind numbing loss…

In the early morning hours of the 28th of February, 2021 the Rich family who followed after my father, Roland Rich; my wife, my three sons, their wives, my grandchildren, my sister’s son, my brother, his wife, his son, his daughter, his daughter in law, his grandchildren all were peacefully sleeping through the last moments of the world as we knew it. By 9:30am of the 28th, the existence of what we all knew was gone, ripped from our grasp in the form of a violent, horrific car accident that claimed the life of Matthew Paul Rich. Matthew, my brother’s son was twenty four, a husband and father of two little children was no more … the twenty five and more members of his family plus dozens of close friends, in a year where death had been all too prevalent due to a pandemic of historical proportions, were now dealing with a personal loss of a young who was a boundless source of joy to all who knew him. Nothing would ever be the same. But, …. This isn’t Matthew’s story …

No, this isn’t a story about Matthew Rich, though the laughter and joy he brought could fill volumes. I’m not writing about his beautiful wife and lovely children. These words have little to do with a father who had lost his son. This is the story of Matthew’s brother and best friend… my nephew Cory Patrick Rich, whose loss of Matthew created a unique devastation of spirit yet, awakened in him a refusal to relinquish the happiness in life so often provided by his brother.

Cory was born on the 12th of July, 1991 to Brian and Vickie Keith-Rich in Conroe, Tx. He was and is still to some degree a loner but in a healthy manner. He graduated from Klein Oak High School in 2009. My nephew is intense… he LOVES his family, he loves deep intense conversations with them, which is a trait directly inherited from my dad, his grandfather, Roland Rich. His intensity also showed sometimes in his temper, “il peperoncino fa scaglie nel culo,” and like many young men who are eighteen or nineteen, lacked direction… and it caused him a little trouble. Despite this, Cory has always shown the ability to make sound decisions in stressful times. To get some focus, Cory enlisted in the United States Army and served in Kuwait during time of war. He knew that many of his family members whom he deeply respected followed a long tradition of military service: his grandfather was a twelve year Navy veteran; his cousin, my son, is a USMC veteran; his step brother served in the Army for 8 years; his second cousin on his fathers side was in the United States Navy SOG (Navy Seals); a great uncle who retired from the USAF; and an great uncle who served in the Navy during WWII… and on back through time to the American Revolution. The discipline and focus was exactly what he needed … Cory knew that.

When he left the army he, like many young men, pondered what would they do with their lives, but he had a rock that kept him grounded: his brother Matthew. Often brothers have rocky relationships. My brother Brian and I have been known to butt heads, some have distance that is sad to see. My sons love to provoke each other and argue much too much. Then there’s Matthew and Cory. Did they fight? Yes. Did they argue? Yes. They were, for much of their lives, raised apart as many children are due to divorce, but there was something special going on there. I have seen men who were close brothers; I have seen brothers who were best friends, but rarely have I seen many who were incredibly close brothers and best friends to each other. Separately, they were funny guys and opposite sides of the same coin. Matt was laid back, cordial, a peacemaker and genuinely put everyone at ease; Cory is curious, a seeker of ideas and often a bit hot headed. They played off each other’s strengths and assuaged their weaknesses. They looked out for each and dreamed dreams with each other. My brother and I haven’t always gotten along, but now, at 55, we’ve found a commonality of thought, even though that tension lurks just beneath the surface. Matt and Cory were a team … a powerful entity when together. Then, with the precision of the marking of a calendar… they weren’t.

This piece will not rehash the horrid details of that awful morning, or share the agony of a young widow or the pain of a mother who lost her baby. This is a story of the path of a lost young man. Dr. Elisabeth Kubler Ross in her timeless study on how humans cope with grief, wrote there were five stages we go through when we lose a loved one. I observed Cory experience four of them: denial, anger, bargaining, and depression. The final stage: acceptance was stopped by an emotional brick wall. In all honesty, Cory, Brian, me (although my pain was to a much lesser extent) did all the right things to cope and some of the negative things you would expect. We argued, we cried, we drank too much, we self medicated, we had nightmares….remember my mention of Cory’s intensity? It was as you’d expect. My brother answered the call of being the patriarch and set the example for his family, I was there to help him when being the solid foundation was too much. Cory jumped in and took on the role Matt’s kids desperately needed. He spent his free time with them, took the son to soccer practice, helped Matt’s widow cope, comforted his mother … he showed a maturity and responsibility beyond expectation. All the while, Cory was so very much alone in processing his loss while attending to his loved ones.

My brother wisely planned a family trip to California to visit his wife’s son. The intentions were perfect, a family taking a step towards normalcy. From my own struggles with mental and emotional health, I learned that when situations approach a calm, the deep seeded pain that you haven’t been able to face, will rise to the surface as the progress that has been made will have your mind tell you, “ok, it’s time to deal with more stuff.” This happened on their trip. I told my brother that this wasn’t a setback but a step forward to deal with a loss that no human could take on all at once. Cory had taken no time for himself. He was spinning his wheels and the pain would not abate. I mentioned earlier that Cory had shown sound decision making in the past during times of emotional distress, he was about to embark on what I view, as a courageous, healthy, well thought out, wisdom beyond his years path towards healing. Cory was going on the road with his little dog Chewie in search of peace.

Like Homer, Ibn Battuta, Strabo, Xuan Zang, Thomas Jefferson, Isabella Byrd, Michael Palin, Jack Kerouac or Anthony Bourdain … Cory was not going on vacation, Cory was not going to “party.” The travelers mentioned above were seeking truth, understanding, community…Cory was going to find a way to live with the loss of his little brother. All to often, we will wallow in self pity and depression, harm ourselves or drop out of living altogether. Very few of us have the courage to go headlong and face our fear and pain and conquer it by seeing others in our world contend with tragedy and be inspired. To seek comfort traveling alone and realizing that none of us are truly alone is a daunting task. I would say that most people have dreamed of hitting the open road to “find ourselves “ and carrying a little regret at not having the balls to do it. Cory has no time schedule, no mapped out path, no preplanned itinerary…his heart and Chewie’s needed pit stops are his only considerations. Well, in truth, there is one destination and hundreds of ways to get there. Matt went on his honeymoon with Rachel his wife to Colorado. He was in awe of the beauty of the vistas. They returned home and, of course, he made a pact with his brother, “Cory brah, promise me that we will climb Pikes Peak together.” Cory promised… Matt is there on the summit ready to embrace his brother and tell him, “it’s ok dude, I’m good, thank you for caring for my family. I’m ok brah, go live …go live…go live …for me.”

My nephew has been gone for three weeks. His path on the map looks like pretzels. He’s been to New Mexico, Arizona, Utah, California, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, Illinois, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Maine, West Virginia, Missouri and numerous places. He is heading towards Pikes Peak today …something powerful is going to happen …and Cory Patrick Rich had the courage to face it. I know this entry in my blog seems quite incomplete. “Where’s the details of the place he visited? What’d he eat? How’s he doing?” are questions that are being asked. I’ll let you know when he gets back. I also kept many of the names of Matt’s family unwritten so as to focus on one man’s personal sojourn. Each of us have a story through this nightmare we’ve experienced, but this is Cory’s and he still has many miles to travel before he can rest.

"Kathy, I'm lost", I said, though I knew she was sleeping

I'm empty and aching and I don't know why

Counting the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike

They've all come to look for America

All come to look for America

All come to look for America*

*Simon, Paul; “America;” Kobalt Music Services; 1968

https://youtube.com/channel/UClK_MAvZtDiLmlp-4HIN7NA

http://labibliotecacoffee.com/

[usashirtstoday]

Mechanic Can't Stay At Home T Shirt

He says Donald Trump can’t cancel it but he and Republicans are making it too hard for so many to cast their ballots and attacking vote by mail to distract and confuse voters hear a Mechanic Can't Stay At Home T Shirt difference between the learning activity near you and Bernie simply for other states like Colorado and Utah are voting by mail four years and agree but now Trump has admitted he tried to sabotage the post office to undermine voting by mail and were not to let him do that our job is to make sure everyone can both safely whether a person or by mail and your job is to make sure you vote is talk to your friends and neighbors spread the word to everyone you out to about 230330 for more than your principal from home bequest returning your or remind me when you now to make prompt about don’t let anyone keep you from exercising your most sacred rights make your plan to vote grab your mask head to the polls the first day there open or repress your ballot and send it in right away and know this election results may take a little longer. This is so sad at the base already helps couple officials because already done couple of your fishing events so I’ll be able to show for you how we fishand other stuff so don’t worry but like for some reason this event is really hard like it’s impossible to catch any of these fishes either developers are to change the difficulty of these events or are there will be something else but like Sears is impossible I don’t understand what else can we do like you can see the most super quicklyand as you can see that yellow bubble just doesn’t move as fast as you can let either you have to guess what is going to go but when you guess it’s impossible it’s really just annoying like I would love to see a person would actually be able to get catch the fish here when is Mauricio like this like I’m just trying to guess that is gonna drop down in a drop down differently low while you so sad I wanted to get at least one fish for you here on the camera but it’s impossible to this associate I don’t want that one make you feel at this event is bad because this event is really good as you guess he thought something super easy but there are definitely easier fishes to catch like these ones are really arts molecular you to be super big because yes there is the size of fish will loftily sketch a lease want to show your giving up to give up at this pointand also forgot to mention for you I’m sometimes trying to catch this fish that look at this like it just got away whatever so I think every time I failed to catch a fish one fish disappears from the pond so there’s only limited amount of fish in the pond here hopefully will be able to catch at least oneand show for you but if you were to go to the topand I’ll try to catch fishes there from the topand I think in the northern locations you will need to have this armor otherwise you will freeze here to definitely that’s what I’m assuming you mean why would spawn in the northern so it looks like we will be able because this fish I want to scream to early but I think this fish was bit easier than the rest of us is doing all my pocket please like 90 done all know dude no game is getting away made like all my God how my supposed to catch it please it was almost done I’m going to catch you anyways like I’m ready I’m ready I’m focusing here hundred percent like the sun vocal instinct ultra instant you know what I’m talking about right the I’m clicking it as hard as it is almost done I was almost done made like what is going on but fishes that my fishing sharks here lay it’s impossible way it seriously impossible that what is going on dude I’m I give up I give up on the light I came I swear there are easier fishes to catch me this event is the hardest one but is seriously just annoying like this is not easy catching fish like it’s not easy but it’s not easy at all like I would love to see somebody catching it hopefully it will reduce the difficulty because I don’t understand like I’m just going to give up on this fish was just mutually video complaining about how hard it is to fish but I swear there are easier fishes to catch him enough to focus on whatever that officials got away ultra to go to the very very topand I’ll try to fish from over here maybe night looks bad but whatever list of fish from the side but it super but I don’t see anything like this spot but we will see maybe that will help out the case we have here another fish please tell me I will be able to catch it so it’s impossible this one we won’t catch this one as well it most quickly for your bubble I think you I mean I would be fine if we got kind of fish is a once in a while but like getting five fishes like that in a row that it’s like it’s impossible to search escape I did my best all I could in my weapon broke this mistake here another fishing rodand let’s try to fish once againand I think there’s a limit to fishes in the pond left or something so I mean okay Boomer we will see it will save your soul soon soon I’m to pull it once again please let me fish let me get at least one fishing vessel there is a chest right so from that Jesse can get the various items if I would if I will be able to catch that fish I will be able to show for you how to works okay so I don’t have to let the physical otherwise the chess will disappear here as well so I have to be very lucky with catching the fishand catching with that just for the chassis can get like items to the for your whatever it’s called decides on at least guys that this because there is no way I’ll be able to open up that thing you if I don’t catch the fish so I called the fish catfish finally after foreverand a little after four attempts I was able to catch this fishand it’s a decision of soft meet almost with no bones the most important thing when catch a catfish is not let it take you underwater year no way also these fishes are to have different rarities as you can see there’s that starand it looks like Brown or something vendors blue a quality fishand then there is like golden quality fish so I was able because this one is there still couple more fishes in the pond so let’s keep catching the babyand I don’t know how that just mechanic works like I do understand how it works you have to like cash that just for smalland then you can catch the fish but like is one such a difficulty it’s impossible like I don’t think anybody could ever do it like is a serious to just guess when the fish is gonna jump upand when it won’t jump up but for now it seriously impossible like it’s pretty cool but other easier events I think it’s just because this is like winter location event so it’s a bit harder hopefully that will change the difficulty for real unless I’m doing something wrong here which I don’t understand the case I’m trying to catch this one I’m trying to catch this fish it just doesn’t work as you can see guys that’s it like it’s impossible I would love to seriously see a person who could catch a fish from there like seriously unless they’re going I know even if you know the pattern it’s physically possible like in the game to move that orange bubble like that while well that’s a great event okay there is another chess of the topand in order to catch it all have to move that yellow bubble to the top to break the chestand get that reward from it but do I have to catch the fish of the sink that we will try to maybe just guys that reward I think this is going to stay well maybe Lisa got the reward know I didn’t even get the reward I think that’s itand it’s all the fishes disappear from the pond so if I was maybe a bit more pro because me that just sucked. Is a Ponzi scheme and privatization would be good for all of us and when Congressman pants was in Congress he was the chief cheerleader for the privatization of Social Security even after President Bush stopped pushing for it government Congressman pants pushing for it were to stand up against efforts to privatize Social Security and will look for ways to keep it solvent going forward focusing primarily on apparel text gives well thanks Elaine there they go again not all and I’ve said about those securities were to meet our obligations to our seniors that’s no reasonably said we’re going to immediately to the Medicare not that that’s what this campaign is really about senator and I get this is this is the old scare tactic that they wrote last is not in all of that I just look there’s a question that you asked that I won’t be around voting record I have to go back to my you’re running with Hillary Clinton who wants to raise taxes by trillion dollars increase spending by 2 trillion and you say your to keep

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TEXT TO TEXT TO SEE IF NO SHE’S NOT SHE’S NOT ASKING IF BRETT WILL HAVE SEX WITH HER SO DON’T DON’T DO IT BRETT A Mechanic Can't Stay At Home T Shirt CHECK I WAS A CAMEL MOTHER’S HEAD TO THE CENTER AWARD SIMILAR IN YOUR PRIMARY CARE FOR INSIGNIFICANT BUG INTERACTS DUMBASS ALL RIGHT SO THERE’S THAT ALMOST SHOULDER MEMORY LANE NOW I ENCOURAGE EVERYONE WATCH RIGHT NOW BEFORE WE GET INTO THE NEWS PART OF THE SHOW IF YOU WOULD LIKE THE STREAM PLEASE DO SO IF YOU’RE NOT USING THE BRAY BROWSER THAT WAS AT REPLAY THE BEGINNING OF OF THE SHOW HERE WE BOWLING DOWN IN THE DESCRIPTION SHOULD DIAL THE BRAY BROWSER IT WORKS WAY BETTER THAN ALL OF THE OTHER MAINSTREAM BROWSERS OUT THERE LIKE ROME IT BLOCKS ADS AND YOU KNOW WHAT I HAD SOME PEOPLE TRYING TO TELL ME THAT WHEN THEY USE BRAVE ON MOBILE BUT THEY’RE NOT THAT I’M JUST LYING AND YOU AND YOU CAN’T LOCK YOUR SCREEN WHILE YOU’RE PLAYING VIDEO ON YOUTUBE I’M LITERALLY GOING TO FUCKING DO IT RIGHT NOW RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU DON’T WANT TO HOLD ON THOSE STYLE ON LEFT AT SEE HERE DON’T DO A BETTER STOP SEE BANDS ABOUT. THIS IS NOT HAPPENING RIGHT NEXT TO THE APPARENTLY STABLE WOMAN RIGHT THAT’S OVER SAYING THERE’S PLENTY OF STABLE PEOPLE THAT ARE OLDER THAN I WONDER IF THERE’S THAT BULLSHIT THEY KNOW WHAT THEY WANT TO YEAH SO ALTHOUGH THERE IS A MANIPULATIONS ON AND THEN THERE ARE THE PEOPLE THAT KNOW WHAT THEY WANT THEY THEIR MINDS CAN’T BE CHANGED AND THEY THEREFORE STILL LIKE JUMP THROUGH THESE HURDLES JUST TO GET WHAT THEY WANT SO IT’S WRONG I’M ON BOTH OF THOSE LOVE YOU I WONDER HOW MUCH OF A BLOWBACK THIS COULD GET WERE ALL THESE YOUNG CHRISTIAN GIRLS WHO WOULD’VE LOVED TO HAVE GOT AN ABORTION LIKE BEHIND THE SCENES NOW SEE IS THE SATANIC CHURCH LIKE I CAN DO THIS NOW I FEEL THIS WAY BECAUSE SATAN SATAN WANTS ME TO WHAT IS ACTUALLY THIS IS ACTUALLY REALLY REALLY SMART ON THEIR PART AND SATANISTS TO THIS WHOLE TIME I SEE TO SEE STORIES ABOUT THEM DOING SOMETHING ALONG THESE LINES LOOK PRETTY MUCH EVERY SIX MONTHS OR SO THESE ARE LIKE IRONIC SATAN IS THE RIGHT THERE IRONIC BUT THERE ARE ACTUALLY QUICKLY FOLLOWED UP WITH. Morning welcome to episode of motorcyclistand seek to meet you guys Olivia this morning rewriting the motorcyclist office in Southern California Harley Davidson’s 2020 Street by special episode was brought to my core tech this morning’s right when the core tech marquee jacket core tech executive leather boot standardand Brody textile glove if you want to know more about these products please visit the linkand description is me for I hear she has Harley Davidson’s 2020 Street crime special this is a premium version of Harley Davidson’s longand low streak with bad chronic weighing faring this bike is beautiful machine cruisers baggers lumber or hate him this bike is a very nice looking bike with training you wouldn’t even believe them out fartand time in detail Harley Davidson puts in to painting its products it’s unbelievable that the paint operation the detail on this paint is just incredible look at in the sun because the two tone contrasting colors absolute beautiful but this street glad special stands out from the normal street cried use of all black finish there’s no chrome on his bike everything is blackand also have the awesome wheels on itand the dropped ball is not hard to tell when you look at Adam but these bags are a little bit lower their little bit more slantedand they give the bike sleeker more speeding although she could show so the Lord God black belt treatment black wheelsand a painted interfering which will show you separate but enough talking about this thing let’s talk aboutand see what it’s like to ride I got here we go there’s no traditional motorcycle key on these Harley Davidson dystonic key fob electronic key fob which I put in the saddle bag look at touchscreen full color TFT touchscreen with gloves makes life easy Mary go what you think of the sound love the sound of these Harley Davidson 45 V twins like her sounds like this motorcycle take your street glad special is loaded with all the bellsand whistles the premium two tone RVR advance traction control with chlorine ABS which will talk about a little bit this beautiful touchscreen which we talked about the bigger speakers so if your audiophile you are going to enjoy this motorcycle was go to the next one I got the teacher here that I was so this wayand he will be away for lacy on his motorcycle it’s these bags are just as the luxury little eval lap of luxury looking for a motorcycle that just have the utmost in comfort this bike is certainly one of the bike I would pack see this nation deep it’s ports you reread very well you’re sitting in this motorcycle like you are city your stuff down in it Here but just in the right way the bar is a little more old schooling I guess you could say it’s water rearward sweep if you see this right here the sweep is very much where were were more modern feel are a modern handlebar would have sweep as more more more more more aggressive so you really noticed that until you ride some of the competition feels her old school kind of Tinky Winky but at the same time this this degree of sweep that the handlebar has gives you a lot comfort Michael you’re riding just write them when you’re standing still arrive in the freeway there’s no effort needed to tell hold on to the handlebar in your arms are just a very natural position that doesn’t require a lot of energyand all to maintain so it’s really neat cut just remember Harley Davidson’s building is bike particularly as street glad for 14 yearsand before that they’ve been building faring mounted motorcycle thing since the 1960s a lot of experience doing these refined ergonomics especially on the touring touring bikes really show how much Harley Davidson attention to those those subtle things control live compared to normal is normal DOS motorcycle where you but packs this bike has floorboards floorboards war where the floorboards are a position a little bit more forward than the typical motorcycle here neither in the breeze quite literally profitable riding position other than very much like a normal motorcycle doll I really like about this bike just houseand Jamesand Noreen about a very smooth motorcycle bike out with Harley Davidson 1 4 inch action that’s prior to surgery feces our little over 100 mL more than the standard 10 7 in See Other related products: unicorn shirts and shirt

[tubofskippy]

Sekukkulu

Winter prompt #2 - “My cookies are far better than yours.” “––This is the worst cookie I’ve ever eaten.” w/ Arnaba. Requested by @dodgisshipper

It had been nearly a year since Arnold moved to Kitguli. Adjusting to life in Uganda definitely wasn’t what he thought it would be. Sometimes it was difficult - the lack of modern technology was something he expected of course, but it still gave him culture shock every now and then. He didn’t feel too out of touch though, he got along very well with the people there. It helped that most everyone in the village spoke English, but Arnold was making an effort to learn Swahili so as not to impose on their way of life. Nabulungi had been the biggest support to him these past few months.  

But as December rolled around, he started to feel more and more homesick. He would’ve brought it up with his fellow elders, but they treated the month as if it were just any other month. But December was more important to Arnold than it was to Kevin and Connor. He didn’t have the greatest relationship with his parents, but Christmastime was the only time he really felt close with his family. The only time his father rewarded him with gifts. He associated the holiday with love. It was especially hard to get into the holiday spirit in the sweltering heat, 8,000 miles away from his family. There weren’t even any pine trees in Uganda. No tinsel, no carolers, no scent of hot cocoa (well, it was too warm out for hot beverages anyway, but try telling Elder Price that), nothing really that reminded him of Christmas at all. 

Nabulungi caught him sitting secludedly outside of the living quarters, drawing something in the dirt with a stick. 

“What is it you are drawing?”

“S’a tree.”

“That’s a funny looking tree. What are those circles? Fruit?”

Arnold gave a pathetic giggle.

“They’re ornaments. Back in Utah, on December first we put up a tree in our living room every year and decorated it.”

Now it was Naba’s turn to giggle.

“Why?”

“I don’t really know. It’s a Christmas tradition in America.”

“Oh! Christmas is soon, isn’t it?” Nabulungi’s eyes lit up.

Arnold smiled at her, but it didn’t last.

“Yeah, just a few more weeks,” he said. His tone was flatter than usual.

“Then why do you look so sad?” Naba threw an arm around him. 

“I just... miss home, is all. I miss snow... n’ holiday traditions.”

“Oh. Well, you can be a part of our holiday traditions. Baba and I are going to prepare the best chicken Luwombo this year. Would you like to help?” 

“Wait, you mean, you celebrate Christmas here in Kitguli?”

“Yes! But here it is called Sekukkulu. Ever since our village abandoned Christianity, we no longer spend the day in the church, we skip straight to the fun part. It’s our favorite day of the year, we couldn’t possibly give up the celebration. We keep our best livestock all year for Sekukkulu, everybody eats and drinks until they cannot eat any more. After the feast it is time for storytelling, games, dancing, and singing... and everyone is very tired the next day. You will love it. Oh, Arnold I am so happy I’ll get to spend it with you!”

It definitely made Arnold feel better. 

“Thanks, Nabs.” He leaned against her lovingly, but it caught her off guard and almost made her topple over. “Sorry.” Naba gave up and just let him rest in her lap. “I’m looking forward to it! But... I guess right now I miss my own traditions.”

“Then we will do your traditions, too. Tell me, what would you be doing back in Oo-tah right now?”

Arnold stared up into her eyes. She was serious about this. It was cute. He stopped to think for a moment, warm memories flooding into his mind, showing through in the form of tears. He quickly wiped them away. He was just so touched that Naba cared this much. 

“Well.. I’d probably be making Christmas cookies with my mom––”

“Christmas cookies!” she shouted, putting both her hands on his upside down cheeks. 

“Uh, yesh––”

“Get up, Arnold! We are going to make cookies right now!” She darted out from underneath him, leaving his head on the dusty ground. He picked himself up, shaking his head and smiling. “Come on!” He had the villagers’ attention as he chased after her.

They reached her and Mafala’s kitchen - a table in the center, surrounded by bins and bins of ingredients, and a fireplace in the wall. Nabulungi grabbed a huge jar of sugar––one that was saved for rare occasions––and put it on the table. Then she got out a bag of sesame seeds.

“These are sim sim cookies,” she said, while pouring them into a bowl. 

“That’s it? That’s all of the ingredients?” Arnold asked, confusedly staring at the sugar and seeds. Naba nodded her head as she started the fire and hung the bowl over it. 

“I guarantee that my cookies are far better than yours,” she said, after the liquified mixture had been spread out onto a sheet. “I’ve been making them since I was like, three.” She cut a piece off for Arnold, who was expecting it to be brittle, but instead was warm and sticky. The tasteless seeds stuck everywhere onto his teeth. 

“This is the worst cookie I’ve ever eaten,” he said, laughing. Naba took offense to that, and playfully punched his shoulder. “Ok, ok, well, if I don’t count it as a real cookie, it’s actually pretty good!”

“Well then, how do you prepare cookies in Oo-tah?”

“With flour. And eggs. And butter. And brown sugar, and vanilla extract, and chocolate chips, and––”

“You are describing a heart attack,” she laughed. 

“But it sounds good, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah...”

“That’s ok, I don’t need ‘em anyways. I like this sugar-seed stuff,” he smiled, taking another bite of it.

“Sim sim cookie,” she corrected him.

“Same same thing.” It made her laugh. “Thank you for doing this with me. You’re the best.” Arnold gave her a big hug. “I can’t wait to spend Se... Se-ku-ku-lu-lu with you.”

She didn’t even try to correct him this time. She just embraced the hug as long as she could. He was nearly a part of her family by now. Arnold knew it, too. And it made the boiling holidays the opposite of insufferable for the both of them.

“Come on, let’s make more!” Arnold said, pouring the sugar into the bowl. “I wanna see Kevin’s face when he tries it.” 

Naba gladly helped him make more batches, and as the two began singing as they baked, Arnold almost forgot that “Oo-tah” even existed. 

[nekojitachan]

Okay, so no ‘official’ Wednesday post, but here’s the beginning of a Raven!Neil fic. It would be cleaned up more and probably added to (not sure I’m happy with the Andrew part) and there’s lots more for the Neil part, it’s only a snippet of that, but you get a feel for the set-up/premise here. It’s maybe a little different?

*******

Wymack pulled up to the Fox Tower and gave a bleary-eyed Kevin a sympathetic look. “Hernandez said he’d work on the kid, would talk to him some more on Monday. I’m not giving up, either.”

Andrew scoffed at that, because he was more than a little familiar with lost causes and Josten? Among many other things, that kid had ‘lost cause’ written all over him, along with ‘trouble’ and ‘rabbit’ and ‘better off forgotten’. He hadn’t missed how the kid had looked at Kevin, the expression almost one of hunger, and he was oh so pleased that the kid had turned down the mighty Day even if it had meant that he’d flown out to Arizona and back for nothing more than seeing a certain arrogant coward shot down.

Kevin slumped down further in the passenger seat, for once incapacitated due to a lack of sleep and not alcohol, his favorite crutch, before he managed to speak. “He’s the best candidate out of a pathetic lot,” he mumbled, ever the cheerful bastard. “We need him if this team has any chance of being something.”

Wymack gave him a sour look as he glanced back at Andrew. “We’re going to crash for a few hours and then head over to the stadium to look through the rest of that ‘pathetic lot’ just in case Josten doesn’t come through,” he informed Andrew, well aware of how Andrew insisted on keeping track of Kevin. He ignored the rude gesture Andrew gave him for ruining his entire weekend while he climbed out of the car while Kevin nodded before they drove off.

Andrew hitched his bag higher up on his shoulder as he entered the Tower, annoyed with wasting a perfectly fine Friday night flying out to bumfuck nowhere in Arizona to see a twitchy rabbit turn down Kevin (actually, that part had almost made it worth it), to put up with Kevin’s bitching at being turned down by a ‘no-name amateur’ who didn’t understand the great ‘honor’ being bestowed on him, blah blah blah, and have his meds be all fucked up by the time change and now be stuck on campus all weekend.

For once, Andrew was looking forward to practice on Monday, just so he could throw some fucking balls at Kevin fucking Day’s Exy-obsessed head. Hmm, perhaps he could start in the locker room, before the coward put on his helmet and gear. His fingers itched to grab something and start throwing things immediately, but he forced himself to ignore the sensation and crawl into his bed, his brother and cousin still dead asleep in their own.

Aaron and Nicky were just as displeased to find out that there was no going to Columbia that night, no Sweetie’s and No Eden’s Twilight, no cracker dust and clubbing, but at least they could stay in the damn dorm suite and drink while Andrew was stuck sprawled out on the couch in the stadium while Wymack and Kevin fought over the next candidate on the ‘just in case’ list, between a girl in Houston and a guy in Minneapolis.

Andrew stroked his right hand along his left armband and fought the urge to go slice apart all of the racquets just to give himself something to do – too much effort in the end. He should have brought a book, dammit, and was about to get up to go pick the lock to Abby’s office when Kevin came storming out of Wymack’s.

“Ah yes, the age old negotiating tactic of the hissy fit, how mature, Day,” Andrew sat up to applaud the coward as Kevin stomped past him, face flushed with anger.

“Fuck you!”

And someone had just offered to walk back to Wymack’s apartment, hadn’t they? Andrew hummed as he trailed along, while Wymack stood in the doorway of his office muttering about stubborn jackasses.

It stirred a glimmer of true amusement to see the expression on Kevin’s face when Andrew started the car without him in it and drove off, and kept it just out of reach for a couple of blocks through campus. “Never talk to me that way again,” he warned when he finally did let him into the car.

Sweaty from the heat and the humidity, Kevin merely gazed at him for a couple of seconds before grunting in agreement then slumping down in the seat.

The next day was much of the same, except that time Andrew brought something to read and Wymack threw Kevin out after a few hours of them arguing. If by some chance Josten did change his mind, Andrew was going to ensure that the kid repaid him for putting up with all of this shit.

After he found out why the hell Josten had acted the way he did back in Millport, why he screamed ‘huge risk’ and turned Kevin down after looking at him like that, why his first impression had been to run upon meeting Wymack. The kid was a puzzle, and him refusing a scholarship to a sport he loved (according to Kevin, in order for him to play like that)?

Andrew hated puzzles.

He also hated practicing for Exy, come Monday (no thrown balls in the locker room, damn it). They were changing into their gear when Gordon came strolling in looking worse for wear, probably from a weekend spent drugging and drinking with Arnolds and friends since it was an ‘off’ week with Reynolds (according to Renee during their practice after Andrew had dropped Kevin off at Wymack’s apartment).

“So what, how was Nevada or Utah or wherever the fuck you went to get us the piece of shit striker?” Gordon asked as he pulled his t-shirt over his head. When Kevin didn’t say anything, Gordon paused in reaching into his locker for his gear. “What? You guys went there, got out of practice early and everything to make the flight.” When Kevin grabbed his helmet and slammed his locker shut, Gordon raised his eyebrows over that reaction. “You get shot down or something?” His eyes grew wide when Kevin stomped out of the locker room. “Wait, no shit? Someone told the great Kevin Day no?” He smirked at Andrew “Tell me you filmed it! I wanna watch it on loop for hours!”

Even though he agreed with the asshole, Andrew merely gave him a grim smile in return. “What can I say, as soon as Josten realized that he would be playing on the same team as you, he decided to give up playing Exy all-together.”

Gordon was quiet for a moment before he gave Andrew the finger, his thick brows drawn together in anger. “Fuck you, you freak. Don’t blame the no-talent kid for not wanting to join this team of rejects, especially after meeting you and the prick over there.” Then he muttered curses into his locker as he yanked on his uniform.

Oh, how sad, one of Andrew’s beloved teammates was upset with him – Andrew would wait for the wellspring of sorrow and remorse, but concrete and steel didn’t last that long and would come tumbling, tumbling down around him at some point during his bout of introspection. That and Wymack’s dulcet tones beckoned the man’s beloved ‘lazy worms’ to get their asses out onto the court.

Hmm, perhaps Wednesday’s topic with Bee would be of Sartre’s insightful belief that hell indeed was other people, and how Andrew appeared to be wallowing in an unknown ring of it at the moment.

That theory was only strengthened by Wymack informing Kevin and Andrew after practice that both the board and the ERC were after him to find another striker quickly, so they could only wait until the end of the week for Josten to change his mind. That meant a return trip out to ‘lovely’ Millport on Friday if Hernandez didn’t convince the kid by then (Andrew suggested a little light waterboarding, but no one ever listened to him for some reason), and then off to Minneapolis on Saturday if the rabbit proved stubborn (flighty) – it seemed Kevin had won out in the end.

“I’m not flying all over just so you have a new toy to play with,” Andrew warned as he followed Kevin into the showers; he’d gone along without too much complaint the first time because Kevin had been so certain that Josten would say ‘yes’, that anyone who played with such desperation, with ‘everything to lose’ would jump at the chance to sign with a bunch of losers like the Foxes. Hmm, someone had been wrong, hadn’t they?

“I won’t leave until I get him to say ‘yes’.” There was that look on Kevin’s face as he spoke, the one he got during practice, when he’d told Andrew that he would play again, that he would give Andrew something to live for once Andrew came off the meds. That he got when he told Andrew that he could be a professional Exy player if he just gave a damn. Hmm, delusion, such a wonderful thing. Though Kevin could surprise one, he had to admit. Maybe he would surprise everyone by making Neil Josten change his mind.

Andrew wasn’t certain he liked that idea, not when the kid rubbed him the wrong way.

Not that he got a chance to worry about it, in the end. By Tuesday it was out on most of the NCAA Exy forums that the Foxes had attempted to recruit an unknown striker from some tiny rural high school that didn’t even make it to the state championships, who had only played for one season, who had turned them down. Some of the commenters were crowing over that fact, a player turning down Kevin Day, turning down the Foxes because they were the laughing stock of the NCAA, while others posted that it only showed how desperate PSU must be to go after such a raw player.

Andrew had to admit, some of them had a point.

What had Wymack ranting and raving (along with Kevin) was that the news never should have leaked. Wymack hadn’t told anyone other than the Foxes and Abby who it was he’d gone to recruit, and Andrew doubted that Hernandez had said anything. Andrew also doubted that Josten had said something, not when the kid had been acting so dodgy about stuff. So that left the rest of the Foxes, who knew that Wymack had wanted to keep things quiet because he was going after someone so unorthodox – that and all the shit that had happened after word got out that Kevin had come to PSU.

Correction, that left one Fox in particular, since Wilds wouldn’t disobey her precious ‘Coach’, Boyd wouldn’t go against Wilds, Renee would never do such a thing, and Reynolds… well, she couldn’t be bothered. No, there was just one other player left, one who hadn’t been happy about Josten in the first place, and one only too happy about anything that made Kevin look bad.

Unfortunately, Boyd stepped in before Andrew could do more than slam Gordon into the lockers and split his lips, and Wymack kept the asshole in his office for the rest of the practice session while Andrew sat it out on the bench. The damage was already done.

Hernandez called on Wednesday to say that Neil hadn’t shown up for school, that he hadn’t been pleased about the news getting out about the Foxes trying to recruit him but he wouldn’t talk to Hernandez about anything.

The kid didn’t show up on Thursday, either, and Hernandez discovered that he didn’t have a real address for him or a working phone number for his parents, either. That there was no way to contact the kid. Andrew felt a faint smugness at being proven right, at having his suspicions confirmed, while Wymack cursed and Kevin freaked out.

There was no point in going to Millport on Friday when Hernandez told them there was still no sight of Neil, so they changed their flight to Minneapolis, left with no alternative but to move on if they wanted to sign someone for the next season. Andrew spared one last thought for the kid as he prepared for another damn flight, annoyed at having to fly, at having to leave his armbands behind, at having to deal with a sulking Kevin upset at being deprived of his first choice, and annoyed at being stuck with a mystery about the vanishing ‘rabbit’.

Ah well, it wasn’t like he would see the kid again, so one less thing to worry about.

********

Neil cursed himself for being stupid, so stupid. He should have listened to his mother, should have kept running, should never have stopped and stayed in one place for so long. Should never have played Exy. And what had he done? He’d stayed in Millport for way too long, long enough for Hernandez to notice things about him. He’d joined the damn Exy team, something his mother would have beaten him black and blue for doing, and been recruited by an NCAA team.

By an NCAA team with Kevin Day on it.

He curled up in his seat on the Greyhound bus a little more as a sharp pain went through his chest at that thought, at the reminder of seeing Kevin, and it wasn’t just because of the lingering bruises from being hit by his own racquet thanks to Andrew fucking Minyard. If there was one thing that had gone right last Friday, it was that Kevin hadn’t recognized him, thanks to almost eight years and him altering his appearance, but no matter how much he’d wanted to say ‘yes’, to grasp a tenuous chance at some sort of the future… he hadn’t been able to get his mother’s voice out of his head in the end.

His fingers itched to pull out the packet of cigarettes from the duffle bag draped across his lap, but he couldn’t smoke on the bus. Perhaps when they got to El Paso and he switched buses or tried hitchhiking for a while, when he changed his hair color yet again to throw off anyone following him (he couldn’t risk it, not after seeing his latest name all over the internet. Not after having people who had ignored him all year long come up to him and talk to him as if they knew him).  

He’d done everything he could to stay unnoticed, to take on a new position, to stay in a small enough town, to play on a team not quite good enough. To allow himself the one thing he enjoyed the most for a brief time before he moved on again, before he left it all behind. To give himself a chance to rest and recover after California and that night by the ocean and the acrid tang of smoke clinging to the back of his throat.

He’d learned his lesson – no more weakness. No more deviation from his mother’s rules. There was a contact in Monterrey whom he could use for a new ID, could stay in Mexico for a while and see if he had any better luck there than in North America. If not, maybe try Russia…

Dammit, why had Hernandez sent the tape to Wymack? Why did the man have to interfere?

Neil lightened his hair some more and switched out his clothes at El Paso, and managed to hitch a ride with a truck driver by using a story about an asshole roommate leaving him stranded and him not wanting to ask his parents for money since they had enough financial troubles at the moment with his sick grandmother. That got him as far as Fort Stockton, where he once more hopped on a bus that would take him to San Antonio. He figured he’d hitchhike the rest of the way to confuse anyone following him, and was just looking for a suitable place to grab some supplies as well as pick up a ride when they caught up to him.

All he knew was that there were two of them, one of them an Asian man, both well-dressed, and they must have paid off the guy in the convenience store because they had no problem walking up to him and tasing him in the back as he tried to walk away. He had faint memories of being hauled around, and then nothing.

He woke up in the back of an SUV with tinted windows with his hands bound by not one but several plastic ties. One tie he could manage, but several? That would take some effort, and considering that there were two large gentlemen sitting next to him and two more in the front of the vehicle, somehow he doubted that was something he could manage without their notice. He cleared his throat and attempted to speak, but the man on his left – he thought it might be the same Asian man from the convenience store – held up the taser in an obvious warning.

“You’ll be quiet,” he said.

Neil didn’t see the point in arguing, not when he figured they were taking him to his father’s house for the Malcolms or DiMaccio to deal with him. So he slumped down and did his best to save his energy for later, at least for a little longer, until he began to squirm. When the taser came out again, he motioned to his crotch, his face flushed with embarrassment. “Uhm, bathroom?”

The SUV pulled over and both men got out so he could go to the bathroom by the side of the road; as much as he’d love to try to run, it didn’t make sense when there was a taser in the small of his back at all times and a gun pointed at him two feet away. He didn’t recognize the men, which wasn’t unusual, but they were rather calm for his father’s people, calm and quiet. That worried him, because calm and quiet didn’t give him much to work with at all.

One of them handed him a bottle of water when they were back in the SUV, and a when they stopped for gas he was given some sort of breakfast sandwich as well. It was clear that they were determined to drive straight through somewhere, and as long as Neil remained quiet and cooperative, he was allowed to remain awake. Judging from the highway signs and all, they were headed northeast.

Neil felt his heart speed up when he realized that they were going to West Virginia, especially when he saw the signs for Edgar Allen. Why there and not Baltimore? His father was still in prison, right? It didn’t make sense.

They arrived on the campus in late afternoon, with the SUV pulling right up to the huge black stadium and the men rushing Neil inside; they knew the necessary codes to grant them access and the one or two guards stationed nearby ignored their presence. Neil could hear what sounded to be practice out on the court, but he was dragged along to the East Tower. He had to struggle to breathe properly as he remembered the last time he was up in that tower, at what his father had done to the man with an ax, but the two men holding onto his bound arms had no problem with his weight.

It felt like a torturous eternity, the ride up to the top floor of the East Wing, felt like the walls of the elevator were closing in, and the door opening up didn’t bring any type of relief. Neil wanted to sink into the plush carpet and drown in it, but forced his feet to carry him forward, into the room with the black carpet and leather sofas, with the red vases filled with the orchids and the walls covered with the priceless screens and woodblock prints and the wall of glass overlooking the court below.

The room where Tetsuji and Riko Moriyama stood waiting for him, along with Patrick DiMaccio.

*******

[awishwee]

Just a way to vent and write out some feelings i’ve been having/update

If you don’t wanna read or listen to this kind of stuff just keep scrolling. 

I’ve been in school for the past 4 years studying psychology.spent another 2 years to go on a religious mission, and have found the human mind to be very fragile. So many things can influence our lives to the point where it ultimately influences our physical/emotional/spiritual health. And if you do not find equilibrium it will eat at you until you look in the mirror and see a whole different person staring at you.

3 months ago my pet cockatiel, Woodstock, died. I’ve had him for 14 years, and believed him to be around 15. So it wasn’t a huge surprise to me that one day he’d have to leave. But that’s not what shook me up. no, it was how he died and what was going on in my life during that time. 

I need to vent this out. so excuse my depressing story :( 

My Woodstock had always been a companion that would comfort me in any instance. I would return to my room everyday and just spend my time with him. I’d never keep him in his cage, so he’d learn to make my room his home, and would sit with me most of the time while I played my violin or draw. I loved him. So it was hard to move to college, where i couldn’t keep him around. when i’d visit home i’d always take good care to spent time with him, even more than my actual parents. I’d say goodbye to him before i’d leave and it hurt. I went on a mission and spent 2 years away, leaving his care to my mom (she loves pets so she was fine with it) i’d keep a picture with him in my family album and show him off to anyone who’d wanna look at it. I came home after that time to find him depressed and sad that he had no one to be around. I felt guilty. and honestly hated myself even more for it. I’d try to convince myself that he was only a bird, and that i had to leave him behind. I spent 2 years devoting my time to serve people and to better understand myself and the world. It was amazing! i would never take that time back. 

After my mission i had to return back to college to finish my schooling. Most of my friends from college changed, got married, or graduated so i felt pretty alone. It was hard adjusting and i missed Japan everyday since then. Because i knew that i was happy, and i wanted that feeling back. I wanted my life back, where i could be with my bird and pursue my hobbies and studies with a companion. 

My parents decided to sell their house. so i got a call from my mom explaining to me that i had to either sell my bird, or take him with me. I prayed to God that my renters would let me keep him even though there wasn’t a pet rule. I haven’t gone to church in a good year, and sort of jokingly agreed to go to church if God would let me keep my bird. Even with the rule, my renter agreed to let me keep my bird. I was so happy, and excited to finally have my bird with me. 

I was almost done with college and felt scared for the future, but having him with me made me care again. I dunno... it’s weird. 

But anyway. Even before i was able to bring him back i was scared because of his health. After my mission the vet said he was fine, but i’ve noticed a lot of changes in him before i took him with me to college. I was so scared of losing him. So when he started to show serious signs of illness, i panicked so hard. I took him to a vet, where they had no idea what was wrong, treated him horribly and left him traumatized from the visit. I hated the vets. and i hated myself for making my bird go through something like that. But i could tell my bird was sick, because he’d sleep most of the day, and rarely sing anymore. (mind you, this was finals week, and my last full semester of college. I was planning on moving, and i had work.) I had to do something, I didn’t want my bird to just die slowly. My mom called me, saying that i shouldn’t waste my money on vet visits because he was “old.” 

I found the best aviary vet in utah, and made an appointment. I drove an hour to see them on a school day, and was in tears explaining to them my situation. They didn’t even understand me when i told them that he threw up the night before because my voice was so shaky. Finally after some ACTUAL tests i found out that he had a liver problem. I paid around 500 dollars for the tests and medicine, and listened intently to the vet explain to me how to treat woodstock. I didn’t want to mess this up, and i certainly didn’t want my negligence be the reason my bird died. I took him home, and got my coworker to cover my shift at work so i could devote my time giving him medicine and just being with him. 

He slept on my shoulder. and I comforted him. I gave him the liver medicine, and liquid food. I left home around 8 AM, returned back at around 12 PM, then stayed in my heated room for 10 hours watching him. After the first 3 hours i could sense something was wrong, and his breathing deepened. he’d run to my neck and just sit there, not wanting to leave or stay on his cage. I had this horrible feeling that he wasn’t going to make it. After 6 hours he started to throw up blood.I frantically called the vet to ask about what to do, and they tried giving me advice. I sent my roommate to get me some supplies, where i’d try to help my birdy live. It wasn’t getting any better. at 8pm he started to sound like he was having trouble breathing and wouldn’t open his eyes. I sat on my bed holding him for 2 hours listening to “The National Parks.” crying my eyes out. Praying to God to save my bird, but at the same time, wishing him to take his pain away. At 10 PM My Woodstock writhed in pain, and thrashed around tripping on his feet, as if he was confused and scared. He finally gave up, and wrapped his wings around his body, tucking his feet in. I had watched my childhood friend die in my arms. My roommate had no idea. She was asleep. I cried out in tears, unable to calm myself. I finally contacted my coworker, and she came to comfort me. One of my friends called me immediately, but because of distance he wasn’t able to help. I burried him that night on top of a hill that over looked the town. It seemed to go by so fast. 

After my family hard about it, they consoled me, and told me they were sorry. My nieces and nephews were also sad. But... when asked how i was i just gave the whole, “I knew it would happen eventually. I was just glad i was able to be with him.” 

But honestly, I’m mad at myself. I’m mad that i didn’t take better care of him, and that i couldn’t offer more of a response than, “I’m fine.” I’m not fine. And to this day if i even think about my bird and what i saw happen to him, i burst into tears, and am unable to stop for 30 min. to an hour. It was traumatizing to me. and it’s something i haven’t told anyone. I did not want to see my bird die. And i did not want him to leave me. I had to move and finish school, and suffer all the typical trials people endure, but couldn’t express to anyone how i really was feeling. 

I’m tired. and i just want to be around the people i love. I’m sick of hiding what i’m feeling and keeping up a strong face. 

I’m not typing this out to inform people about what happened. But to inform myself about it. My bird is gone, and i have to move on. But it does not mean i have to completely forget him to achieve that. I’m grateful i was able to spend his last hours together. And i’m grateful to all my friends and family who have supported me through these past months. I’m grateful to have a Heavenly Father who comforted me through it all, and has continued to guide me to a better life, emotionally and spiritually. I’m sorry i haven’t been myself. and I’m sorry to show weakness. But i’m not strong, and we all need support through life. I don’t want to be apathetic and cold anymore. 

Since i’m moving, i’ll be leaving my bird’s grave in this town. I’ll say goodbye to him tomorrow before i leave. It’ll be hard, but it will be ok. Things can be difficult, but we are never destined to live this life in failure or despair. So i’ll find joy in the things I love, and hope to spread that joy to other people. Because that’s all i want to do. Thanks for reading if you did, and thanks for being around even if you didn’t. Since i love Big Hero Six, the same quote rings in my mind everyday. 

“I’m not giving up on you. You don’t know this yet, but people need you. So let’s get back to work.” 

I can do this. I can move forward and become something even greater than what i think is possible. I just have to remind myself ever so often to never give up. 

皆を心から愛しています。私の愛するの鳥も本当に、愛しています。その愛と幸せさを決して忘れません。

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWCXyELOX3Q

[keveenleeang]

3/13/19

I can't wait until I can replace all of the bad memories of my childhood with good memories of you.

It's very painful to think about things that have happened to me. I get so bummed out (and sometimes really sad) just thinking about it.

LA sucks because my mom decided to have plastic surgery (that didn't even do anything to change her appearance tbh). I cried as I begged her not to. She told me it would cost 30k and, while I didn't understand how much money it was, I knew it was a lot. So I told her to think things through because my dad wasn't going to be around and it was going to be just me and her. But she didn't listen to me--of course--and went through with it.

I didn't get to do anything fun while we were in LA. We went to Universal for a tour, but that was it. I didn't get to do any of the rides or do anything fun. We didn't even see the Hollywood sign. I remember spending most of my time in a daycare with kids who were younger than 6 and feeling so abandoned and alone.

And her recovery was brutal. She was so swollen and bruised up from everything. Her entire head was bandaged and she looked like a monster. I was really upset. Everyone would stare at her and I was so embarrassed. It wasn't even like she was sick and needed surgery--she just decided to put herself through that. And it made me so mad that she wanted (and still probably wants) me to get plastic surgery too.

And we had to go back like 3 or 4 times for follow up appointments. And each time it was basically the same. One time we stayed in a really shitty motel because my mom's friend paid for it or something. Except there were bugs everywhere and it was disgusting.

Food was a big issue too. My mom was so mad at me because I didn't want to eat anything other than soup and Korean barbecue because I didn't know what else to eat. And it wasn't like smartphones existed and the internet was easily accessible or anything.

She really wanted to eat seafood but didn't get to because I didn't like it (despite the fact that there are restaurants that serve both???), so she lashed out at me a lot. I told her that I would rather starve than have her be that mad at me, except that just made her angrier because I should be willing to just suck it up and eat whatever she wanted.

Anyway lots more happened, but it's all just sad and bad. LA is a shithole and I hate everything that happened there.

Also Panama City is a shithole (Nick lives there and he agrees), Destin sucked (but I got to play Megaman with my pseudodad's nephew, so that wasn't too bad), Myrtle Beach is a shithole, Utah is a shithole, Virginia is literally hell because my dad and aunt live there, Las Vegas three times is a shithole that I couldn't even appreciate because I was underage (even if you ignore the shit that happened with my relatives, it's pretty shit tbh lmao. Le Buchon is good though), and that's about it. I think those are all the places I've been in the past ~15 years.

Idk I haven't been able to go on a good vacation... Pretty much ever? There's always some sort of drama that happens that ruins the entire trip. I don't remember much before Austin, and we didn't even go on vacation outside of holidays with my grandparents because my dad was deployed.

And then the divorce happened in El Paso and we've just been poor (excluding the whole LA thing. Actually, we're probably poor because of the LA thing). I've driven through a lot of states while we were moving, but I've never really gone anywhere for fun. I haven't even been out of the country since I was 6.

This winter break was really, really nice. I had a really good vacation and everything was so fun. The first good vacation that I can actually remember. I was so happy. I just really appreciated leaving Georgia, getting to go places, and doing things with you.

Everything was generally stress-free excluding your parents at the beginning lol. I didn't have to worry about making you mad or some random drama happening. I didn't have to worry about getting yelled at or being excluded. There were activities and I got to enjoy them so much.

And I can't wait for San Francisco because I know it'll be similar. We are going to have fun and do activities! And that's all I ever want us to do. Though I'm worried you'll leave me for Owen once you see how much more he can offer you 😢

All of the memories I have with you are so good. Thinking about you has the opposite effect of thinking about my parents. I'm so grateful that you have that effect on me. It's super nice to have something to think about that isn't depressing.

You make me so excited for the future, which is wild considering how I probably wasn't going to make it past 25. There just wasn't anything to look forward to. A good, happy life just didn't seem possible.

But it is now thanks to you. I'm so excited for things to come. Getting our own place, buying fun furniture and putting RGBs everywhere, coming home to you, having financial security and disposable income (!!!!!), fun pets, getting married and finally being rid of my shit family, and just spending our lives together.

Anyway, I hope we have enough money and free time to do fun stuff often. I want to go to so many places to do activities with you.

But none of those activities will ever be concerts.

I love you lots. Ty for loving me too.

[theparaminds]

Often, it feels as though art takes itself a little too seriously. Everything, for some reason, needs to be intense, spiritual or so horrifyingly sad it leaves you in emotional pain for the rest of the day. Though, this misstep of modern music is exactly what Johnny Utah’s combating. Instead of falling into the same trap, Johnny Utah is, refreshingly, making music fun again. 

His songs flow with an effortless rhythm, a groove that hypnotizes the body and encourages movement, whether a toe tap, head bob or full on interpretive dance. He does so through his unique song writing abilities, building tracks lush with instrumentation and lyricism, filled to the brim with fresh youthful energy. 

It’s taken time and honest effort for him to find the sound he feels represents him the best. In the past, there have been countless musical revisions, each closer than the last. But now, his confidence in his ideas stands firm, enabling him to tackle the music world with his brand of necessary positivity. 

Our first question as always, how’s your day going and how are you?

Yeeerrrrr! I can’t call it brother, I have been better but that is ok. My day itself is going beautiful and I hope yours is as well.

To begin, how would you describe your artistic vision for those unaware of you, and how do you believe it’s changed over time?

Somebody in an article once described my newer music as “Carnival Funk” and I kinda like how funny that sounds so let's just run with that as my answer. It's definitely a “newer” direction for me, because previously, whenever I was making solo music, I was just doing some weird lo-fi stuff in my bedroom and uploading it solely for friends to hear. Last year, after I decided to actually make an official solo moniker for myself and brand myself as an artist, I would say my creative direction definitely changed and matured into the music you have been hearing from me, which I call: HEADASS POP.

What were your original inspirations and pushes towards your artistic path, and, how do you reflect upon their importance to you?

Most definitely Teen Suicide, Wildcat! Wildcat!, Tyler The Creator, and STRFKR are four I want to zero in on. They were four influences that were in my heavy rotations during my critical youth years in high school, where my entire musical interest was completely molded and shaped.

How has living and creating in Philadelphia shaped your work? Is it place that you find grows your creativity and gives you artistic opportunity?

Honestly, it hasn't changed anything for me at all. Don't get it twisted though! Cool place to live and I love all my friends but this city doesn't do anything for my music. I could be in a cabin in the woods and somehow my end result would still be some sweet-sexy-love tunage.

In terms of vision, you’ve talked in the past about labelling your music using genres similar to others, but with releases like Crazy for Your Love, have you found yourself moving into your own lane and working to find something more singular?

Yeah most definitely! I really feel like in my last three to four singles I have come into my own and found my sea legs as an artist. There was definitely a weird adjustment period when some of my influences from high school and my favorite artists became fans of my music / peers, but I think I have singled myself out and fleshed out a sound that I am really proud of.

What do you believe are the greatest improvements you want to make as artist going forward? What do you say as fixing points within your artistry?

I just feel like I could do a lot more because I honestly don't do anything to give back at all. I want to try and find a way to give back more with my platform. Maybe find some charities to donate money to that help fund music programs for schools or something like my friend Victor! has been talking about recently where they want to teach kids in school how to use programs for making music.

As well, what does the next year look like for you, both career wise and personally? What plans and goals have you set forth for yourself and what projects exist beyond the horizon?  

Right now I’m taking a little step back and giving myself a short break from music for the next month or two, until my next release. I have done a release a month for the last 6 months and I want to take some time for myself and my head to just play Super Smash and have no other mental focus. This music shit is all secondary to my dream of becoming a professional Smash player so y’all can just wait on the new music.

Do you see yourself delving more within the world of collaboration going forward, or is that something you’ve personally written off for the time being?

I got some collabbies in the works, shhhh.

What was your greatest memory of the last year? Why does that moment stick out to you and what importance does it hold?

Okay I got one. I got on the front page of Apple Music with the “best of the week” playlist and my madre saw it and she thought it was the coolest thing ever and sent it to all her little friends. Also I don’t know why I just called my moms friends little. I think they are normal sized. I have never seen them all in the same room though if I'm honest, so who’s to really say.

If you were given the chance to play one live show anywhere within the world, where would you hold it? For example, you could have one on Mt. everest, or a bathroom at an in-n-out, whatever floats your boat.

“Cookout” in Rock Hill, South Carolina. Its this fast food place that all the racist good ‘ole boys would drive their big ass lifted trucks to and then fight in the parking lot. Lots of sperrys. Lots of polo. I would love to play my stupid ass love music for them and get called a lot of homophobic slurs just like when I was 15, only this time I'll be 23 with guitar in my hand and a target on my head.

Also, you have beautiful arm sleeve tattoos, what are the designs on them and what is their significance? But as well, if you could get one tattoo, for free, with no negative repercussions, which would you go for and where?

So, first off, thank you homie. All my tattoos are meaningless and done by my buddy Chris D Kline,he works in Philly and New Hope, PA. Go look him up and give him your money. My one free pass tattoo would have to be “Kill Ray Romano” under my left eye on my face.

What is one movie, book or TV show you would recommend to everyone reading this right now? What was your experience with it when you first came to enjoy it?

I feel like a lot of cool guy artist can tell you some really cool pretentious book to read or some really like niche indieflix. I think all y’all should just fuck around and get a Netflix trial and watch Black Mirror.

Do you have anyone or anything to shoutout or promote? The floor is yours!

Shout out to the team! UNDERWATER baby!

Follow Johnny on Twitter and Instagram

Listen on Soundcloud and Spotify

[crazymothertrucker2-blog]

"We gotta roll"

Well we finally did it! It was going to be just Audrey on a two - three week vacation but Christain REALLY wanted to go too so off we went. We took off Sat, July 7th, early afternoon. I balked about leaving because Steph and Henry were still there until Wednesday. Keith kept reminding me of just HOW FAR Chicago was and that we HAD to get going!! I knew he was right but hard to pull myself away. 

The kids were beyond excited and ready to get spoiled. The first stop of course was to get our "Eat n drink on". So chips and soda in hand, we were off! 

We drove 438 miles the first day. Audrey challenged me again to a Hubba Hubba bubble blowing contest, so we made sure to get some gum at our first stop. 

Our stop for the night was Lime Oregon, population 5. The man that bought Keiths property a few years ago lets us stay at the house when we come through. He only uses it for an office. He leased some property above and is putting windmills up there. Pretty smart guy selling energy!! 

When we got there, Keith had already told the story of the old school house that's still standing a few hundred feet away. "Years ago this old school house was only open for one year. It's told that the principal went crazy and killed himself and everyone in the school one morning. Nobody ever knew why"!! Of course, I hate scaring kids in any way other than coming around the corner and spooking them but wouldn't ya know pappa Keith thrives on the spooky story stuff!! It might have been fun to go along with but I just couldn't do that to my babies. So before we even entered the house, we had to go in and see the "haunted" school house. Audrey and I kept our safe distance not wanting any of what Christian was SURE to get. They opened doors very slowly, neitherone knowing what to expect. Poor Christain didn't have a chance when pappa Keith shouted "watch out!" in his booming voice. Audrey is so brave, she wanted in on opening the doors to see. I mostly wanted out because of knowing their MUST be snakes!!! It was fun and the kids were laughing until on the way into the house, pappa told them this was where the principal lived! They stayed close to grandma as we looked the house over..;)

I reminded them AGAIN that none of it was true. It was about 9pm, we found some baked beans in the pantry and bread in the freezer and ate like the cowboys did on the cattle drives. We played a game of Trouble. Audrey kicked our butts and was over joyed.We talked of another game but I knew how early "The Driver" would be rounding us up to hit the road, so I sent them off to shower and we bedded down for our first night. 

We left about 6:30am Sunday morning. The kids were awake and happy to be on to the next adventure. When we past Farewell Bend, I googled the history which is something Keith and I do a lot. It's fun to learn what life must have been like people hundreds of years ago... I hoped that on this trip the kids would learn an appreciation for our history and our ancestors who never let fear keep them from experiencing life and going forward to make their dreams come true. We talked a bit about how the pioneers were sad to say goodbye to the Snake River that they had followed for so long, thankful for all it had to offer in keeping them alive. I'm sure they all were fearful of what lay ahead by leaving the security of that river.

We passed the Van Orum historical marker, I Googled it and we learned "The Utter-Van Ornum party left Wisconsin in May 1860, most heading for Oregon’s Willamette Valley. The wagon train—which consisted of eighteen men, five women, twenty-one children, twelve wagons, and one hundred head of livestock—arrived at the abandoned Fort Hall on August 21, 1860, encountering no major difficulties along the way. A company of U.S. Army dragoons had been stationed near the fort earlier that year to escort wagon trains through the Snake River country, but they escorted the Utter-Van Ornum party for only six days, purportedly because the commanding officer was upset with members of the train. About ten days after parting from the dragoon escort, the Utter-Van Ornum train was attacked by approximately one hundred Indians, probably a mixed group of Shoshone and Bannock, perhaps accompanied by several white men." The attack and its aftermath are described in detail in the accompanying newspaper article. Eleven emigrants were killed during the first two days, after which the survivors abandoned their wagons and fled, splitting into several groups. The Van Ornums and three other emigrants were later killed in mid-October near present-day Huntington, (which is only 5 miles from where we stayed our first night) Another group stayed along the Owyhee River. They were finally rescued by the U.S. Army forty-five days after the initial attack. Of the original forty-four members of the Utter-Van Ornum party, only sixteen survived, including one of the Van Ornum children who was rescued from the Shoshone two years later. 

We stopped a few miles down the road to grab Arbyes breakfast. The kids watched Clifford then read a bit. They also spent hours playing with little man too. I'm glad we have such a great dog for my grandkids. 

The time seemed to go fast on our drive through Idaho. When in Utah, we watched maybe a hundred rafters lazily floating down a river. We stopped to take pictures at the Devils Slide, a really unusual rock formation that always amazes me every time we pass it. It consist of two parallel limestone strata that tilt and come hundreds of feet down the Mountain. The rock formation protrudes 40 feet out from the mountain, erosion happened more quickly in the middle so about 25 feet across all the way down, there is hardly any rock. The kids thought that was very cool. Audrey thought it would be fun to slide down. She's definitely the adventurous one!! 

We got down the road and just knew it was ice cream time, so the Flying J was a welcome site for weary travelers....

We hit Wyoming and things started winding down, not much to look at so we put a western on to watch. Well, not really a western, "Centennial" is more about pioneer history. Before the cowboys and civilization in the west when trappers were trading with theIndians. Can't say at first they were thrilled, but you put two kids in a truck, take away the "Game Devices" and they find a whole new appreciation for the simpler things in life. 

We passed historical markers and would talk about some of them. Pappa Keith went off the beaten path so we could see one of the original, "Overland Stations" where people rode a stagecoach for days in unbearable heat, bouncing around on wood seats, covered in dirt by the time they arrived. After a meal and fresh horses, they would get back on the trail for hours, sometimes days, enduring until the next station. 

The kids explored some of the ruins asking questions. We walked around it looking in the windows. Audrey decided it would be more fun to climb in and see how it looked from "the inside out". I wasn't to excited, it looked creepy with the dirt floor and who knows what crawling around!!! But if my girl is brave enough and i don't really see danger, I gotta let her experience life...:) We walked up the hill a ways to where there were the graves of six nameless travelers that were killed by outlaws, One was supposedly the infamous. "Jack Slade"!! Amazing how far we've come, I think it's good to remember those that endured hardships to pave the way. I guess the "knowing" makes us appreciate what we have!

That second day we drove a long one, 778miles. When finally stopped at around 11:30 I knew this night was not really going to be all about sleep, really more about survival. I tried to imagine all day HOW we (dog included) were all going to "sleep" in this truck!! I knew I would have the coveted spot ("The Bed") for the night but knowing how much I toss and turn I just couldn't see a child fitting into the picture. By the time we stopped, I really didn't care I just wanted a bed. Pappa Keith pulled to theback of a Flying J where it seemed perfect. Dark, no trucks (yet) and quiet. Once we pulled in, got the towels over the windows, (don't laugh, you do what you have to do as a trucker) Audrey announced that she had to poo poo! Soooo, we took the towels down and drove over to the station so Audrey could go.  

We settled in for our long night in Laramie, Wy. thankful to have a truck to call "Home". I crawled in the back and we put Little Man outside on the tank (for the first time in his life). I wasn't really sure how that would go!? First we put Audrey with me but that just didn't seem like it would work. We decided that she was just the right size to stretch out across the middle console in between the seats, her pillow on the closed computer. Her feet stretched into the back onto my belly. It all seemedperfect. How this little girl would not wake up in total pain was beyond my imagination. It could only be attributed to her young, healthy body. Although, I think even that would have its limits sleeping on that hard surface. Christian, seemed excited about sleeping in the passenger seat tilted back. He might have had second thoughts when he realized his seat was not going to lean back as far as pappa Keith's! Not only wouldn't, it couldn't because Grandma's head needed some room! I really do "Trucker Up " as much as I can, but with Keith's seat practically laying on my feet, and me mentally having to remind myself "This is not a sardine can", I cringed at the thought of Christian coming back one more inch.

They stretched one sleeping bag over all three of them with no worries, it's Wyoming in the summer. We laughed at how we looked, towels stretched across the windows, dog outside on a blanket, us all sprawled "Every Which Way, But Loose". And the night wasofficially started! I woke up about 10 times. I'm not really sure if any of the four hours counted as "a night's sleep". I wanted to keep checking to make sure the kids were covered up and not to cockeyed so as to have a neck ache in the morning. The first time I looked, Audrey was turned kind of in a backwards "L" shape and was using pappa Keith's belly for a pillow. NICE!! I knew then she was set for the rest of the night with sweet dreams. I found Christian a few times with his head on the middle console where Audrey might have been if she hadn't found a softer landing. In the middle of the night, Little Man decided to come sleep with me. I woke up feeling something tugging on the sheet. His whole bottom half, slid down between the passenger seat and my mattress. I pulled him up and he never even woke up. I think he was extra tired from playing with the kids. We all survived it and chalked it up for "A Memory"! I keep telling the kids, "It's fun to experience new things". 

We woke up the next morning and there were some low lying clouds making everything look spooky. The sun wasn't up yet and it was a little chilly. Christian said, "Grandma LOOK, that motel looks like a ghost house!". It really did too. The fog wrapped itself around the Marriott Motel, coming up half way. It stood there looking like a mystic castle against the empty background of Wyoming. So our day began and we stopped for breakfast. When pappa Keith pulled into Micky Ds, I knew I wouldn't be the ONLY one cringing. Audrey had already explained back in Walla Walla how they "used the whole chicken for the nuggets" not only that "but all the sick ones too"! Needless to say, hunger and pappa Keith at our heels made for a speedy "Pit Stop" without complaining. We did what needed done at the time but I knew when we got to our destination, I WOULD get to a Walmart for some healthier food!! Sorry, Mom and Dad, we gotta "Trucker Up" at times.

We had another "Pit Stop" in Gothenburg, Nebraska. Keith and I stop here all the time. It has a Museum with an old Sod house in the back. It happened to be opened that day which was neat other than we were still in a BIG hurry. I took the kids back to see the inside of the house. They excitedly rushed around saying, "Grandma, look at this!". We read the little sign that told about how the pioners had to build their houses out of whatever was available on the land. For the lack of timber or other building supplies like daddy uses, they used mud and straw, white washing the inside with several layers to keep the insects out. It was all one room with a dirt floor, bed to one side and wood stove and eating table on the other. Very primitive. Life had to have been so hard for them but don't ya just wonder if they may have been happier than a lot of people today? We went into the museum and the lady told us that back in the 1860s the government was giving away 160 acres to whoever got there first. One of the things that had to be done right away was to build a structure of some kind. The government still owned it for five years of "proofing " before they could legally call it their own. Fun stuff we were learning out here!

Our next day was a little shorter. Pappa got us a motel with a pool in Avoca, Iowa. We had so much fun!! First we stopped and got some dinner (Mexican) then headed to the Motel 6. The kids chowed down and we headed to the pool. I didn't have a suit so I watched which totally works for me because I really don't care for swimming. Pappa Keith came in and totally shocked us by jumping in fully dressed! There were five teen age kids down at the other end that were as surprised as we were...haha. We all laughed and squealed with surprise cheering him on! 

I was laughing so hard at them playing, Keith was throwing them high up and then they started pretending to be WWF wrestlers. I was snapping pictures not wanting to miss a great shot. Later I thought, "WOW, he just burned a memory onto this page of their lives!! How awesome is that?!" I definitely wont pass up one of "those" moments again! It really was a great time. 

Back at the room, they showered and we watched some "Redneck" TV. Some reality show where this redneck family in the deep south became rich on making duck caller gadgets. It was pretty funny. The CMA awards were on too so we introduced them to some good ol country music! Hate to tell ya, cause I know some reading this might revolt at the idea but they LIKED it, they REALLY LIKED it! When TV was off, Pappa and Christian proceeded to entertain us again with their nightly WWF wrestling competition. Audrey always ends up getting in on it too, silly girl... I know better after 5 years being "wrestled" with. As for kids, someone always seemed to get hurt in the end...guess who that was??!! I keep my distance now.

We got to sleep after some tossing and squirming, but for some reason it never seems like enough sleep. Funny, but theses kids have even been taking naps which I'm sure they hate to take at home. We'd been rolling pretty hard. But it was all worth it. Our fun stop this day was the biggest truck stop in America in Walcott, Iowa. They were AMAZED walking through this huge building that seemed to go on forever. They were allowed to climb up into the big 18 wheeler show trucks displayed, pretending to be truckers. Our plan was to come back through on Thursday, depending on where our loads might take us. They'd be having their annual Trucker Jambererie! That might be one of those events you just GOTTA see to believe...haha.

We grabbed some ice cream and headed East, getting closer to our destination. We hit Illinois. When we went through Chicago, (well the outskirts, we always try to avoid getting too close as the traffic here is a mess most the time) the kids were playing ontheir games so I made it a point to look at the city out in the distance pointing out the tallest building in the USA, The Sears Tower. 

We got to the Horizon yard early afternoon in Wakarusa, Indiana. Keith had to go into the office to hand in our paper work so we went fishing in the pond way in the back lot. I had bought a good amount of food at Walmart, so we fixed some sandwiches quickly and got to what was important...fishing! Audrey ran to the other side first to feed the geese. Christian and I fished. I knew it was not the right time of day but as a line in this new song by Toby Keith goes, "She thinks we're just fishin". In this case "they" meaning, they just think its fishing, but really what it is, is creating a whole lot of great memories! My heart was exploding with all this love and with the great memories thatI'm hoping my babies can have forever. If i could have a wish, I think it would be to somehow be present in "spirit" when they share the stories with their own kids. "The summer vacation of 2012", traveling from the west coast to east then down south having the time of their lives with Grandma and Pappa Keith, living like gypsies (ok "Truckers"). Gypsy just sounds better for some reason. Having fun, not really planning too far ahead for the next Adventure - just being able to say, "Hey, that would be fun! Yeah let's DO THAT"!! Oh how I wish I could be that "little fly on the wall" when the stories are retold. I can only wish. 

[morrisbrokaw]

15 Airbnbs Under $200 For Your Labor Day Weekend Solo Getaway

Guys I’m going on my first real solo trip and I feel alive baby!!!!!!!

It’s quick in and it’s quick out but it’s mine all mine and I’m staying in the most adorable Seattle Airbnb where I plan on having conversations on my terms only for 48 hours (I absolutely check that ‘entire house to self’ box on Airbnb, no question.)

I’m going to eat (UR DAMN RIGHT THE RESTAURANTS ARE GOOGLE SPREADSHEETED) and drink (THOSE TOO) and read and write and probably eventually feel sad and then quickly anxious that I’m not having The Greatest Time Of My Life on this Thing I’ve Been Looking Forward To, but the good news is: I KNOW that that will happen (I struggle big time with transitions; mostly when it involves location change – I could go on literally forever about this; different time different article!) and when that feeling comes I will be like “hi b*tch” knowing she will leave eventually (usually around after two days).

There’s power in putting the work into getting to know yourself, people!

All of these cute lodges, domes, tiny houses and lofts I’m about to show you are $200 and under and they’re all (as of right now!) still available for Labor Day Weekend rental meaning maybe this is the sign you needed to take a couple days for you, because WE BOTH KNOW we deserve it.

ALSO: GET YOURSELF A PARTNER WHO UNDERSTANDS YOUR NEED FOR A SOLO VACA, SHOUTOUT ERIK.

Big Bear City, California — Can’t you just picture diving into your fall book stack in this Like-If-Laura-Ingalls-Wilder-lived-outside-of-LA cabin??

2. Dallas, Texas — Check out this ‘Tiny House’ outside of Dallas for $70 a night with a  very, very good shower.

3. Newry, Maine — Maybe bring a friend or loved one for this 1800s-lookin’ shack so it’s a little more “Little House in the Big Woods” a little less “Cabin in the Woods” amiright!! Attn earlybirds: 6 a.m. views of that lake look pretty fire.

4. Eugene, Oregon — It’s a ROUNDHOUSE which for some reason I can’t quite put my finger on seems way cooler than a NON-ROUNDHOUSE.

5. Aiken, South Carolina — You could glamp under a rainbow chandelier on a farm with CHICKENS!!!!!

6. Lexington, Kentucky — You’re basically like, staying in a literal garden. That has a sauna.

7. Tampa, Florida — Oh my god this mint green cottage. I’m just going to put this right here.

8. Bethlehem, Connecticut — This dome looks dope but is for someone more extroverted than me – everything outside of your bed you’ll need to use the main house for!

9. Aiken, South Carolina — The cottage Ms. Honey lived in in Matilda was one of the first homes I ever fell in love with. It just looked like it FELT good to be there, you know? This feels like an affordable vaca replica.

10. Joshua Tree, California — Well THANK GOD FOR YOU, this Joshua Tree ‘Desert Escape‘ is still available!!!!!

11. Fredonia, Arizona — Okay I’m not saying I support mind-altering substances I’m just saying if that is something you enjoy I would probably do it here.

12. Oklahoma City, Oklahoma — Dude OKC’s food scene is poppin’, I’d snatch up this $100/night gem while you can.

13. Houston, Texas — I mean there’s a photo with a bottle of wine and two glasses on an eccentrically-stitched quilt in a little turquoise cottage I really don’t know what more you’re looking for.

14. Joshua Tree, California — Okay sorry for the double Joshua Tree feature but oh my god that fireplace and f*cking view.

15. Salt Lake City, Utah — Okay speaking of cool fireplaces this loft def has one and when I think about cooking a solo meal here I get emotional.

DON’T FORGET TO TAG ME IN YOUR PICS!!!!!!

Liz Welle is a professional feelings feeler but gets paid to do social and digital stuff for brands in Minneapolis while occasionally food styling on the side. She lives in Uptown with her boyfriend and their thirteen plants. She is doing her best.

    The post 15 Airbnbs Under $200 For Your Labor Day Weekend Solo Getaway appeared first on Wit & Delight.

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[lenaglittleus]

{VIDEO} Scenes and Lessons Learned from Moving

I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while now, but I needed it all to sink in before I could formulate my thoughts. When I wrote this post, I was still kind of processing everything we had experienced and wasn’t in any position to be helping or educating anyone else. But as my friend Natasha Adamo sharing in Episode 6 of the podcast, “you don’t need to be cured to help others”.

While I’ve mostly recovered from the craziness that was our cross-country (more like continent, but you know what I mean…) move, I know that the final step in truly processing it all is to share this experience with you. So I’m going to cover a lot of ground in today’s post. Unbeknownst to some of you, we left Toronto in September 2016. We finally landed in our new apartment in San Francisco in January 2017. Clearly a lot happened in between. Thankfully, my iPhone captured it all.

In this video I’m sharing the top lessons learned from moving cross-country and below I’ll be recapping the journey and those moments we didn’t share with you as I needed some space to figure it all out. I still feel a ton of guilt keeping this from you, but I’m hoping you understand why I needed some time to process before talking about it. But more than anything I hope you take something away from my experience and that it can help prepare you (as prepared as you can be at least!) if you’re embarking on a big life-changing move like this one was.

The process was actually split into two because of reasons I won’t get into but we left Toronto in September and landed in Minnesota for about 7 weeks through the Fall.

LEAVING TORONTO

Packing up our life in Toronto was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. The emotional toll of it sunk it months later but the physical toll of moving was immediate. Definitely watch the video above to learn what NOT to do. Let’s just say that there were a lot of tears involved and things like this happening…

Yes, that’s a box spring wedged into an elevator and it took me 20 mins to get it out. Not fun.

After an exhausting day, I spent the night at my parents and C went back to our place to patch up holes and clear it out. Looking back on these pictures makes me super emotional. This was mine and C’s first home. It was also where we hosted our friends and family, took care of Rhett and eventually brought Bodhi home to. Seeing it empty like that hurts, but I know in time I’ll look back and only see the positive memories that took place there.

From Toronto we drove to Minnesota (by way of Chicago) to spend the next couple of weeks living with C’s family. 

ARRIVING IN MINNESOTA

Per usual, our little man was a total champ in the car. I can’t believe how little he was!

Settling into life in Minnesota was like a dream. After all the drama of the move, it was so nice to have the support of C’s family and the beautiful Fall weather in Minnesota. Getting to explore all of the little parks in their neighborhood and local coffee shops, I started to wonder if it was worth leaving or just staying put. I still love it there so much and look forward to visiting again soon.

Our stuff arrived pilled on top of each other, but likely most of it survived! Again, we made BIG mistakes when it came to our move so check out the video above if you want to learn more.

P.S. For you Minnesotan readers, would you guys want to see a round-up of my favorite places there? I’ve been quite a few times over the last 5 years and explored a lot in our time there so I’d love to share if you’re interested!

We left Minnesota in Mid-November and chronicled the entire road trip out West. Catch up on those blog posts here:

–Badlands National Park –Road Trip Through Colorado –Moab, Utah + Arches National Park –Capitol Reef National Park + Boulder, Utah –California Road Trip Finale

LANDING IN SAN FRANCISCO

We arrived in California with mixed emotions. I was still dealing with the effects of the crash and had a lot of doubts about leaving Minnesota. I was scared, sad, overwhelmed, excited and relieved all at once. I was happy we had finally made it, but honestly, the biggest challenges were ahead of us and I was not emotionally prepared for them.

But the first week we arrived in SF was pretty special. It was Thanksgiving and we spent a night at the West Point Inn on Mt. Tam and I’m forever grateful for this warm welcome to the Bay.

We’re fortunate that C’s family took us in in SF too so that’s where we were staying and where almost all of the blog posts from December were written. Between a busy month with the blog and holiday content, we also had to sort out our newfound car situation, credit issue (neither of us had credit in the US!) and began the apartment hunting process. I’ll be totally honest with you guys, health was not at all a priority. Besides the occasional hike with Bodhi and C, I didn’t work out for almost 6 weeks. I also lived off snack bars and dried fruit. I just didn’t have it in me to cook or plan anything. I did a lot of car eating as we drove our rental from one apartment to the next.

As I talked about in this post, this period was really tough for me. We were encountering a lot of challenges that come with moving, trying to navigate the SF housing craziness and mourning what we left behind in Toronto and Minnesota. My biggest regret in all of this is not being as transparent with you. But I also recognize that I needed time to process everything and even though THM is a reflection of my life, it also doesn’t need to be a negative space for all of you. So I did the best I could. Fortunately things began to turn around.

At the end of December we signed an apartment and things started to slowly calm down. We then headed off on a family trip to Guatemala, which was a great way to destress and prepare for the impending move into our new place.

MOVING IN TO OUR APARTMENT

We moved into our apartment in SF about 6 hours after landing from Guatemala. The first thing I wanted to do was a cook a meal, but of course, we had no stuff! Thankfully C’s sister gave us a “survival guide” and that’s essentially what we lived off of for the first couple of weeks in the apartment.

Because of the lessons we learned on shipping our stuff to Minnesota, we went about bringing out stuff to SF in a different and slightly less grueling way. It also meant it took about a month for our stuff to get here. C and I basically did all of our work from our one piece of furniture for the first few weeks, our glorious couch. It was our splurge item while we waited for the rest of our stuff to arrive.

Eventually we got a mattress and this is what I did for the first half hour after receiving it…it was glorious.

It’s been about a month since then and our stuff finally arrived while I was in Israel. It’s been SO nice to have all of my kitchen gear and really start nesting in our home. We still have a long way to go in terms of settling in, but we’re taking our time to make sure we create a space we’re really excited about. Stay tuned for an apartment tour!

It’s been a whirlwind 6 months and even though I reached my lowest of lows, I’m grateful for it all. When we left Toronto, we were seeking an adventure and while I certainly didn’t expect the adventure to be all positive, I’m realizing that sometimes we need some hardships to really test our strength and help us grow. That stagnation I had been feeling is definitely gone and I’m looking forward to growing even more in our new home.

I hope you guys forgive me for keeping you in the dark through this process and that you enjoyed catching up today. For anyone debating whether or not to make a big move, I’ll say this: DO IT. Don’t expect it to be easy, but nothing in life worth doing ever is. Life is about moving forward and expanding the boundaries of your comfort zone. There’s no better way to do this than to flip it all upside-down!

Have you ever done a big move? What lessons did you learn?

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