#i’m ridiculously biased because i love milo

[soup-scope]

ok my predictions for the polls is a Milo and Lovely sweep.

am i biased? heavily.

[things2mustdo]

Recently there’s been a lot of talk about whether or not the media has our best interests at heart, and with more and more men awakening from the feminist matrix, it seems that the mainstream media is going the way of the dinosaur.

Donald Trump has been urging the public not to trust the mainstream media, but I’m sure that if you’re a reader of Return Of Kings, you don’t need him to tell you that. The modern mainstream media is basically the same thing as the Church was in the 1200’s—they control the flow of information, and they don’t like it when people disagree with them. In fact, if someone who disagrees with them gets popular enough, they often times resort to smear campaigns (see: smearing Roosh as a manipulative pickup artist, and Milo as a pedophile apologist).

Now, I know what you’re thinking—“I know the media doesn’t report on things, Jon, but fake news? That’s, like, intentionally lying and manipulating information, isn’t it?” Yes, sir, it is—and this is what the mainstream media, particularly CNN, has been doing ever since television became popular.

Here’s 5 examples of how CNN is, in fact, “fake news”:

1. Kicking Bernie Sanders Off-Air

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWQcxUIYUcQ

Bernie Sanders, the unofficial leader of the socialist movement in America, recently called CNN “fake news,” before being kicked off the air. CNN tried to play this off as a “connection issue,” but anyone with a grain of common sense knows better.

Bernie: “…who is the head of Russia, and now we’re learning that there may have been discussions between Flynn and the Russians, about sanctions, before this administration took power. So this is very, very troubling, and I think the president is going to have to tell us what he’s gonna do about it.”

CNN Anchor: “So far he hasn’t said much…he was asked about Flynn on his flight to Mar-a-Lago late today…here’s how he responded:

[plays clip of Donald Trump denying obvious lie directed towards him]

CNN Anchor: “He says he hasn’t seen any of these reports. Is that a problem?”

Bernie: “Well, I don’t know, maybe he was watching CNN Fake News, what do you think?”

Bernie: [sees her offended look] “It was a joke.”

CNN Anchor: “You don’t buy what he said, obviously?”

Bernie: “Erin?”

Bernie: “Kevin, I’m not—are we on?”

CNN Anchor: “Umm, it looks like we’ve lost connection with Senator Sanders…”

Right, of course. You just happened to “lose connection,” with Senator Sanders conveniently right after he called you fake news.

2. “Racism” Is Why Adele Won Grammy

After Adele won the song of the year, record of the year, and best solo pop performance awards, it wasn’t long before CNN charged in to proclaim that “racism,” was the cause. CNN “reports”:

…”but with its racial themes and imagery, some are questioning if the project was “just too black” for Grammy voters. Kevin Powell, author of the memoir “The Education of Kevin Powell” and a forthcoming biography on rapper Tupac Shakur, thinks so. He told CNN “Beyonce’s ‘Lemonade’ made a lot of people uncomfortable, because it is so political, so spiritual, so unapologetically black, and so brutally honest about love, self-love, trust, betrayal.”

Right, because apparently Beyonce, despite being nominated for 62 Grammy awards, and winning a whopping 22 Grammy awards, is being discriminated against. In the Leftist’s delusional reality, any time a white person succeeds, it’s due to “racism,” yet any time a black person succeeds, it’s due to “overcoming insurmountable odds.”

Give me a break. Adele won the Grammy, because the panel thought her songs were better, period. This has nothing to do with racism, but apparently CNN still thinks it’s a good idea to race-bait the hell out of current events in 2017. I don’t see this changing anytime soon, either.

3. Venezuela Bans CNN For Lies

According to Fox News World, the president of Venezuela actually asked CNN to leave:

“CNN, do not get into the affairs of Venezuelans. I want CNN well away from here—outside of Venezuela. Do not put your nose in Venezuela.” -Nicolas Maduro

…and can you blame him? CNN has repeatedly shown how ridiculously biased they are, and they’ve shown how willing to lie they are, for the past year after running a gigantic smear campaign against Donald Trump.

Didn’t CNN claim that The Donald had a 3% chance of being elected president? What did they do, just poll the gender studies department at UC Berkeley? I wouldn’t be surprised if they did, because nobody in their right mind would ever accidentally come to the conclusion that our current president had a 3% chance of winning.

In fact, other independent journalists such as Mike Cernovich actually predicted that Donald would win months before the election day in November—how? Because they saw the trends. They saw that men were tired of being emasculated and having their lives ruined, they saw that we’re tired of being shamed for our whiteness, and they saw that the people of America were starting to wake up from their NWO conditioning.

4. “Our Job Is To Control Exactly What People Think.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NoXGV4Vw-VA

Yeah, yeah—I know this one isn’t CNN, but they’re all the same to me. MSNBC, NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, and even Fox News to an extent…they’re all just different heads on the same globalist-controlled hydra. Buckle in though, boys, because this one’s pretty bad…and it just happened days ago.

Mika Brzezinski, whose name should automatically create suspicion in the wary citizen, recently stated on MSNBC that it’s “our job,” to “control exactly what people think.” I honestly couldn’t even make this stuff up, but if you don’t believe me, you can watch it in the video above.

Mika Brzezinski: “Well, I think the dangerous edges here are that he’s trying to undermine the media, trying to make up his own facts, and it could be that while unemployment and the economy worsens, he could have undermined the messaging so much that he could control exactly what people think…and that is our job.”

No, Mika, that isn’t your job. Your job is to report the facts and let THE PEOPLE decide what to think, but if you can’t get that through your thick skull I guess we’ll just stop watching your crappy network.

5. Donald Trump Calls CNN “Fake News”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZI0Q3LQZmo

Ah, I saved the best for last—I do love me some Donald burns. After a CNN “news reporter” tried to aggressively ask Donald a question for some odd 20 seconds, repeatedly interrupting him and interjecting his way into the conversation, Donald lost it and called him “fake news.”

And who could blame him? They spent the last 8 months doing absolutely everything within their power to completely ruin Donald Trump’s chances at winning…and yet, by the grace of God, and by the memes of Pepe, lord of Keks, the Trump train smashed its way through the entire god damn establishment…and won.

Trump: [to other reporter] “Go ahead.”

CNN Fake News: “MR. PRESIDENT SINCE YOU’RE ATTACKING US CAN YOU GIVE US A QUESTION!”

Trump: [to CNN] “No.”

Trump: [to other reporter]: “Go ahead.”

CNN Fake News: “MR. PRESIDENT ELECT! MR. PRESIDENT ELECT! SINCE YOU ARE ATTACKING OUR NEWS ORGANIZATION,”

Trump: [to CNN] “No, not you.”

Trump: [to other reporter] “Go ahead.”

CNN Fake News: “CAN YOU GIVE US A QUESTION,”

Trump: [to CNN] “Not you.”

CNN Fake News: “GIVE US A CHANCE! MR PRESIDENT”

Trump: [to CNN] “Your organization’s terrible.”

CNN Fake News: “CAN YOU GIVE US A CHANCE, JUST LET US ASK…”

Trump: [to CNN] “Your organization’s terrible.”

CNN Fake News: “LET US ASK A QUESTION, SIR! SIR!”

Trump: [to CNN] “Quiet.”

This goes on for literally 25 seconds, before Trump finally becomes visibly angry and proclaims:

Trump: [to CNN] “You are fake news.”

If the President of the United States of America thinks that CNN is fake news, I think they’re probably fake news.

Summary

In conclusion, if you still watch the mainstream media, don’t. Get your news from real news sites, like Return Of Kings, Info Wars, Gateway Pundit, Drudge Report, and Cernovich. The MSM has shown us multiple times in the past that they’re globalist whores, selling out the American public to fatten their own pockets.

I recently bought an Info Wars shirt to start wearing around in public, and the results have restored my faith in America. Everywhere I wear it, I’ve gotten complements—it’s not that often, but you’d be surprised how many men are awake, but just don’t broadcast it.

The MSM would have you believe that 99% of the American public hates Trump, but it’s really only something like 10% who hate him, and maybe 25% more who dislike him.

I usually wear Info Wars, Breitbart, and Trump apparel to the gym, because most guys who have a shredded six pack from lifting heavy ass weights are strong and masculine, and are therefore not subject to stupid social pressures that the media uses to influence you.

Do your part in spreading the good gospel of the manosphere, the alt-news, and the resurgence of America, and we’ll reclaim our country for sure. Let’s all make America great again.

https://www.returnofkings.com/165920/how-journalists-became-whores

Journalists are supposed to follow a set of rules and values called deontology. These rules say journalists should strive to be impartial, objective, and to inform their readers. We know well this is not the true nature of their activity.

Most MSM journalists today if not all are spinsters. They cherry-pick their facts and craft narratives around to steer people towards an untold yet ever-present agenda. They make up stereotypes while attacking other stereotypes, they make up ideas while attacking other ideas, as it suits the editorial line of their employer.

In the name of information, journalists create and fulfill an artificially constructed consciousness. They are paid to do so. They believe what they’re doing is normal or cool, just like the Ministry of Truth in Orwell’s 1984, where officers burn archives then forget they just destroyed records (soon to be rewritten); your average leftist journalist spins all the time, follows all the time, yet doesn’t even know he spins and follows.

A little bit of history

If you lend an ear to leftist historians, up to perhaps to age of discoveries, the West didn’t know much. Everybody were locked into their own towns and fields. Well, this is not true. Europeans had known about the Silk Road from time immemorial. Kings and the clergy had their messengers, their events, their gatherings. Individuals like Saint Bernard or Saint Thomas of Aquino were quite familiar with communicating at a distance.

It was just much slower than today—and quite of a luxury as well. Common folk had to rely on minstrels, travelers, and on their own travels. Most communication was done orally. Academics today love to point out how unreliable the bush telegraph is, but at least this communication is done naturally between common people rather than top-down from a shadowy agenda.

Also, as slow as this word-to-mouth communication was, people then did not need more: they could make a living on their own, with the insurance that they could consume it themselves or sell it. Markets tended to be stable, and whether you were a field-tiller or a craftsman, you didn’t need to know about the latest fad not to be left behind. People were also much less bored and in need of diversions. Didn’t have newspapers, didn’t need them.

Then came the printing press. What had been done by scribes secluded in monasteries became partly automatized and multiplied. Bibles were printed. Then pamphlets. By the time, Protestantism had well developed, clever princes tried to use it to their advantage, and the Catholic church counter-attacked by launching one of the most manipulative orders ever created.

More power to independent people meant chaos. Printing outside of the rigid hierarchy of the Church meant a never-ending contest of ideas, systems, tastes, experiences, and egos. The hypocritical journalists of now who chide “trolls” while sniffing their own written farts should remember that trolling appeared as a side-effect of the printing press, as it became possible to say anything remotely instead of being necessarily confrontable. Plus, trolling helps to think of things to talk about with a girl.

Nevertheless, printing what you wanted was not that simple. First, literacy was still the hallmark of a comfortable upbringing, and second, you had to be able to print. You had to know a printer, had to make a deal with him and pay him. Not to mention the dissemination of your lovely printed book. It was always possible to print in a country with virtually no censorship, then smuggle books, but who was to receive them and share them?

No matter what you had to say, you always needed to address a noble-bourgeois audience, which meant catering to fashionable topics or debates. Otherwise, your material would be simply ignored. Authors who weren’t too well-known had to rely on booksellers who conspired to arrange a discrete monopoly on over-the-counter books. Yep, the world of “culture” has always been murky, and its members believe this is a sign of their superior intelligence.

As “culture” developed, with its train of noise, untold rivalries and social parasitism, periodic journals were printed at an ever-faster pace. Eighteenth century bi-annuals were replaced by daily or weekly newspapers. Which meant a great need, not for amateur gentlemen, but for people who could write constantly. Such people would be called journalists.

The modern journalist plant

If you believe journalism is about informing the public, forget it immediately. There is no such thing as an automatic progress which just makes happen what seems desirable. If an unbiased, all-objective information seems desirable, that does not mean someone will pay for it or even manage to get it. Even the CIA Factbook was made in the first place because objective information would benefit the CIA itself, not “enlighten the masses” or whatever a leftist salesman would say.

A journalist is basically someone who is paid to write on particular issues, in a well-defined format, as his boss sees fit. A journal belongs to someone—no matter if the owner is public or private—who usually has its own aims. Whether the newspaper has to simply sell or shape the opinion, it always aims at something else than merely informing.

(Even ROK has an agenda, and I’m fine with it, because I believe it is sound and fair, but I’d never pretend I write for the sole love of truth or as if I was a disembodied soul with no consciousness of its own. Any writer having such pretenses is a hypocrite or a liar.)

Back to the nineteenth century. Newspapers were just like factories. As plant workers had to churn tangible products, journalists had to churn out impressions. They were like paid artists for the ephemeral, creating appearances that would sell, or satisfy, or infuriate—anything as long as it suited the editorial line of their employer. Journalists did not become whores. They were paid employees, to put it politely, from day one. But at least the blue collar workers had to pretense to say the truth or illuminate or whatever BS that sells.

Let’s say you were born with a high verbal IQ, a knack for writing, and some ideas. What could you do? You may consider writing books, become an intellectual, but book writing takes time and often doesn’t pay. If you can’t live like an annuitant, you must be an employee.

If you choose the written words, you have to conform to a preexisting editorial line, to a particular milieu that already existed before you did, in hope of being granted a job. Creating a journal demanded not only experience but capital as well. Can you pay a printer? Would a banker trust you if you asked him for a loan so you can start a journal?

As the nineteenth century was an epoch of exceptional growth, some people had this capital or trust, and many independent journals were formed. Many, though, were bought off, or chased away, or censored. The elite does not want you to become an influencer, unless, of course, you remain a perpetual servant of their agenda.

This is why mild conservatives are accepted as a stooge opposition, along with the alt lite, whereas those who really want to save civilization and its creators are reviled. The elites want to destroy civilization, so, their journalists, who all depend on them socially and financially, foster their agenda while lying to themselves on the nature of what they do.

So-called investigators are paid by Darth Soros to “investigate” on convenient targets while turning a blind eye on other things, like mass immigration, or upholding a mandatory narrative which rests not on truth but on pure social conformism—muh minorities r always good, muh white males r always wrong.

Perhaps the “fake news” offensive has been crafted, not only to maintain the masses into the blue pill matrix, but also to reassure the frail employees that they are serving truth and progress. Which is already dubious, as worshiping an arbitrary strand of “progress” has nothing to do with objectivity, just as the contemporary humanities are rather a Hollywood for nerds than a place of real knowledge, but you can’t ask vapid girls to get to this level.

No one writes for the sake of truth alone. Independent writers or journalists also speak of what they think relevant. They will mention XYZ facts because these are important, or, at least, ensure a modicum of success. Just like men tend to read Miyamoto Musashi quotes, not merely because he existed, but because he’s interesting.

Mainstream journalists are courtiers. They are paid by global elites to do their bidding. They work in cities just like filmmakers work in grand obscure studios—because their activity lies in creating perceptions, in shaping fashions, ideas, mottos, norms. The difference between a marketer, a journalist and a filmmaker is only of scale and means. The aim, and the bottom, is the same.

We are different, because we are bottom-up. When mainstream journalists sold their souls, we are upholding ours. The problem with this is that we’re ill-paid. The globalists and the boomers tend to concentrate all the money, and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to witness that the non-mainstream outlets tend to all lack money. Such is the price of independence.

We ought to have our own money elsewhere, and have a lot of independent journalists around, so that autonomous individuals from our side can work or investigate and help masculine men to shape their own consciousness.

[snekatiemmlpnf]

bradley for the character thing!!!!!

“tell us about bradley!”

Thank you dear anons for asking me about bradley for the character thing, because I want to talk about bradley.

(This ended up being the longest one so far, I think...)

Favorite thing about them:

He’s kind of a ridiculous character and I love it? Every single delivery of his lines too are just fantastic.

I can relate to him, most of all. I don’t know, just in The Undergrounders when he’s trying to talk about the museum and stuff, and everyone keeps interrupting him. Sometimes I like to talk about things and it’s not a great feeling when people interrupt or ignore me. (Shout out to my mom who’s stuck at home with me during quarantine and lets me ramble on about cartoons for fifteen minutes straight, even though she has no idea what I’m talking about.)

I also like that even though he’s portrayed as kind of the mean kid, he actually isn’t all that bad? Like he seems to get along pretty well with everyone, he hangs out with Mort in the Undergrounders, Mort and Joni in Milo’s World, and Chad in Dog Walker, Runner, Screamer. Nobody actually dislikes him, and he doesn’t really dislike anyone else (except Milo, but I don’t think Bradley actually hates Milo, he’s just not a fan of Murphy’s Law, and he’s still under the assumption that Milo is doing everything for attention, as he says in Milo’s World. Another reason why I want them to talk things out lol.)

Plus, he generally seems pretty willing to go along with the others? Like in Safety First, he’s there in the park to help Zack and Melissa, even though Milo is also going to (or was supposed to) be there. In Mid-Afternoon Snack Club, he’s the first one to recognize the cliche and is super quick to fit into his role as “the angry malcontent who masks his pain by lashing out at the others,” and he happily joins in the shenanigans later that episode.

(I also find it interesting that he was going to be on the death and destruction debate team with Melissa and Lydia, so he also likes debate and extreme sports, apparently. I don’t know, just a thing to note.)

Least favorite thing about them:

He’s mean! Not like incredibly mean, but he does have quite a few comments about Milo, and he blames Milo for things that he doesn’t even have control over. And he’s just sort of a negative person in general. (But as @pastel-player​ said, it is one of the things that makes him a great foil for Milo)

Favorite Line

Oh boy, he has a lot of great lines. The one I mentioned in Snack Club:

“Zack, would you get with the program? This is like one of those 80′s movies, where a bunch of kids are forced to have detention, and then they all learn something about themselves at the end. But one of us has to be the angry malcontent who masks his pain by lashing out at the others!” (I also like how this implies that he was fully prepared to learn something new about himself by the end of detention. Also he totally watches 80′s teen movies)

Also in Sunny Side Up: “Yeah! In your face, other people!” (Also, side note, he sounds like Phineas when her says “yeah”, just noticed that as I was rewatching that part.)

Brotp

Since I am a ginormous sucker for friendships, I’d say pretty much everyone. Mort, because Bradley seems to hang out with Mort more than his other classmates. Melissa, because they seem to be on pretty good terms and they have that friendly rivalry thing going on. Amanda, also, because they were partners in Sunny Side Up and I just really like the idea of them being buddies? They can bond over being stressed about Murphy’s Law, and maybe when Bradley sees that Amanda no longer thinks Murphy’s Law is all that bad, he’d be more willing to get closer to Milo, too, as well as the fact that Melissa is best friends with Milo, too. Which brings us to our last one: Milo! I really, really want them to be friends. To talk things through, clear things up, clarify that Milo definitely isn’t doing anything for attention, and maybe Bradley will realise that hanging out with Milo isn’t all that bad.

Otp:

Bradley x Carla, duh. #Carley4Life. (Fun fact, I completely forgot about Carla until I was rewatching the Yacht episode today, and I forgot how great and also highly unusual that moment was. One of the top Bradley Moments.)

Seriously though, like most other characters, I don’t really ship him with anyone.

Notp

Again, I prefer platonic ships anyways. I don’t have anything that grinds my gears, but any Bradley ship is just “meh” to me, but I don’t actually mind any of them.

Random headcanon:

He eventually learns to use his arm to its full abilities. He can switch it between the vine and an actual hand, extend it, and use the sleeping pollen. He’s also very strong in that arm, too. (Related, I’ve seen art of his arm growing flowers during the spring, attracting bees, etc. and I really love those.) The full extent of what he can do is a little scary, and it worries a couple people, but he wouldn’t actually purposely hurt anyone. (Hmm... I’ve just had a couple idea of him developing Pistachion-esque mannerisms...)

As an additional, less serious headcanon that just came to mind right now: He can cook, and quite well, too. Not a lot of people know that, but he really does enjoy making dishes. He’s best at improvising over following an exact recipe, and he always knows exactly what to add or change to make something taste that much better, too. (And just because I’m biased, I’m going to say his favorite dish is stroganoff, because I really like stroganoff.)

Unpopular opinion

I don’t know if this is unpopular or not, but he did end up one of my absolute favorite characters, even though he was definitely meant to be a character you’re not supposed to like. I just think he’s neat.

Song I associate with them:

This is always one of the hardest questions, but I always had a vague idea of what to put, but... I have no clue? Maybe I’ll think of one eventually. Apologies

Favorite picture of them:

I have two! Baby Bradley, and one of the reasons Snack Club is a fantastic episode.

[dwtscommissioner]

DWTS Season 27: Halloween Night

I always love the Halloween episode. The costumes, the songs, the set décor. The opening number was cute and I like how involved the “stars” were for the number. But watching Joe sitting next to Evanna and being so behind on some simple moves with just his arms made me even more annoyed that he’s still around.

Milo and Witney- Contemporary – This is probably my favorite contemporary dance ever on the show. Witney did a great job with the choreo and Milo stepped up and nailed it. This perfect score was well deserved. That lift… wow!   10, 10, 10 = 30

John and Emma- Paso Doble - The judges were ridiculous with their comments on this dance. I do think some of his lines could have been sharper and stronger. He did accidently step on Emma’s dress but that happens sometimes.  This score is ridiculous. He should have had 7’s across the board if they were going to mark him that low. I agree with Tom’s 8.  6, 7, 6 = 19

DeMarcus and Lindsay- Salsa - DeMarcus could have had looser hips but that was really the only issue I had with this dance. This is probably my fave couple so I might be biased. Their lifts are always amazing. Choreo and story of this dance was fun. 8, 9, 9 = 26

Evanna and Keo- Tango - Wow!! Evanna really let go and embraced this dance!! I’m glad she started dancing for herself. This was her best dance and I agreed with Burno and CAI.  Loved this dance!! 10, 9, 10 = 29

Bobby and Sharna- Argentine Tango – This was Bobby’s best dance to date and I enjoyed it. I think this couple has good chemistry and I always like Bobby’s enthusiasm.  8, 7, 7 = 22

Mary Lou and Sasha- Tango – Len was right that she did lose her neck from time to time. As I type this we already know Mary Lou was sent home last night but she just needs to work on her frame. And I think Tom knew she was going home with the question he asked her.  8, 8, 8 = 24

Alexis and Alan- Jazz – I’m fine with a showmance if it’s real, but when they are faked and forced in our faces, it’s the dumbest thing in the world. They do have decent chemistry but I don’t believe they are into each other. And now onto the dance… it was cute but I just don’t connect with her and she bores me honestly. Cute choreo but what happened with song… did the singers forget the words? Oh okay Erin the track went out and Alan clearly hates this showmance stuff too. 9, 9, 9 = 27

Joe and Jenna- Argentine Tango - This was Joe’s best dance, but I’m just so sick of him still being on the show that I don’t care about his dances. That last lift I thought he was going to break Jenna for real. I do not think this dance was better than John’s though and should not have been scored higher. 8, 7, 7 = 22

Juan Pablo and Cheryl- Jive – Another fantastic dance from Juan Pablo and Cheryl. I love watching Cheryl create choreo when she has a good partner. This team is on fire. We have quite a few who could win and it’s sad they aren’t in a different season.  10, 10, 10 = 30

With about 3 minutes left we find out that our couples in jeopardy are  Mary Lou/Sasha and Alexis/Alan.  And Mary Lou is sent home. L I’m not that shocked because I have just accepted that Joe isn’t going home soon enough for me (that would have been week 1). I just don’t get it. Let me know your thoughts!!

[noddytheornithopod]

Phineas & Ferb and Milo Murphy's Law?

Interesting, this should be fun.

Which has the better protagonist: Hmm, in terms of actual story structure I’m gonna say Milo Murphy’s Law. I might love Candace, Phineas, Ferb, Perry and Doofenshmirtz more and am more attached to them, but as I just indicated Phineas and Ferb is more of an ensemble cast so it’s harder to break down. Milo is already one of the strongest aspects of his show (and that’s not even taking into account how great Weird Al Yankovic is as him), and the fact that ultimately he is the protagonist does make this easier to answer. If I were to break it down into individual plots then I would definitely say Candace in PnF’s A-plot (or Phineas and Ferb if Candace is in her own C-plot, to which the same feeling applies) and Perry and Doof in the B-plot, but if we’re talking about whole shows then it’s easier to go with Milo because he’s the only real protagonist in the end.

Which has the better villain: Phineas and Ferb. Doofenshmirtz is one of my favourite characters in general, and the fact that his entire villainy is pretty much subverted in the end in that he’s not even really evil just makes that even more interesting. Even when you take into account that Doof isn’t even really evil in the end, I still choose PnF though. They might be one-off villains but characters like Second Dimension Doofenshmirtz, Mitch the alien, the Drill Sergeant from PnF Get Busted and if they count despite being a horde enemy the zombie pharmacists (ESPECIALLY) I still have found more memorable than what MML has offered. We do have recurring villains in the forms of the Pistachions, and King Pistachion himself is fun and they do have a very sinister plot, but I just don’t feel like they’ve really left a mark on me as much yet (even if the whole kidnapping humans and replacing them with themselves plot is pretty creepy). I guess I just find them a bit one-note for being major villains? That’s fine and all if you want to focus more on the protagonists, but it doesn’t necessarily get you villain points.

Which has the better plot: Depends on what you mean by “plot.” If we’re talking about an overarching plot and continuity then Milo Murphy’s Law wins by default because it is a more serialised show and as a result has a more solid continuity. If we’re talking about individual episode plots though, then I still have to pick Phineas and Ferb because “kid with stuff going wrong around him and sometimes there’s time travellers” is compelling enough, but “two brothers build and invent impossible things, their sister wants them busted while struggling with teen life and their pet platypus is a secret agent who fights a not-so-evil scientist, also all of these plots influence each other’s outcomes” is something else entirely.

Which has better cinematography: I’m not really sure to be honest, though if I had to pick I’d probably pick Phineas and Ferb. It being a storyboard driven show as opposed to MML being script driven probably helps a lot, and some of the visuals in later episodes (especially specials) are great.

Which one is more fun: Phineas and Ferb. Of course both shows can be really fun, but I’ve been with PnF for longer and it being more ridiculous in general as well as the characters being more interesting and offbeat to me really helps.

Which one makes me think the most: Phineas and Ferb by far. Maybe i’m biased since I’m Autistic and PnF is my main interest, but there’s just so much stuff out there to explore, and the characters truly fascinate me.

Which do I watch when I want to relax: I rarely go back and revisit shows more than once because I’m lazy, but in general I find Phineas and Ferb to be more that kind of show, even if in my case it’s more images/GIFs and fanart. :P

Which do I watch when I want it to consume me: Phineas and Ferb. Despite Milo being more serialised, I find it easier to watch single episodes of. With Phineas and Ferb, I end up getting so obsessed with even minor details that I need to watch everything to pick it all up.

Which is my favorite: If it wasn’t obvious, Phineas and Ferb. I don’t think it’s going to be replaced anytime soon, because it really was for me a case of the right show for me showing up at the right place at the right time. My affection for the show has had years to develop, and the characters in the show are not some of my favourites out of anything I’ve consumed, but actually for the first time gave me ones I felt I could truly care about and connect with. Milo is already pretty good of course and definitely has a stronger start than PnF and arguably potential to be even better, but combined with sentimental value and the fact that it seems to be aware that it’s going to always live in the shadow of its predecessor (I mean, they wrote the first season KNOWING they were going to end up in a PnF crossover), I do have to say PnF is definitely the better show.

[thatshighlyoffensive]

That’s Highly Offensive: 2018 Golden Globes

Y’all know I only wear all black all the time, so I find the fact that Hollywood is "uniting" against whatever tonight by wearing all black to be kind of a stupid way to pussy foot around the issue, but who asked me? This should have been a night when the carpet looked the way I think it should at all times, but honestly, a lot of stuff looked makeshift and cheap to me. And WHAT was with all the skirts-over-pants nonsense?? I thought that was over. Also, forgive the overuse of the funeral garb schtick but what choice did I have?

Wow. It's rare that the first look I see ends up being the worst dressed of the night, but Debra Messing has just taken the cake, eaten it, made another cake, eaten that, made another one, and took that too. I know it's cliché but MESSing says it all. #thefacesofmeth That emerald eyeshadow and those Elvira for Family Dollar false lashes!!  And WHAT is that dent in her forehead?? I’ll tell you what it is… bad Botox. Or Juvaderm. Or whatever expired baby bunny cartilage her dermo found in Karen Walker’s dumpster. Oh and also, she’s wearing the dress version of Liza’s putty kkk hood shoes and it’s  all HIGHLY offensive.

Kelly Clarkson- "From Justin to King Midas" if King Midas was a lizard...

Kristin Cavallari went as 1999 Oscars Angelina Jolie but with a ballerina's bun and I'm not ok with it.

I honestly have nothing bad to say about Tracee Ellis Ross’s outfit. The phrase ‘Charmin Noir’ comes to mind, but let’s not bc you know how much I love a turban/wrap!

Meryl Streep: You bore me to tears. I like your glasses.

It seems to be literally KILLING Giuliana Rancid that she can’t ask “Who are you wearing?” bc she is incapable of NOT pointing out the fact that she’s not asking that question to every person she's interviewed. And as always, she looks like the Queen from Antz but this year her skin is a particularly orange shade of Oscar Meyer all beef frank. She also has one of the most bulbous horse hair dino ponytails I’ve ever seen. She's like the anorexic version of Starla from Napoleon Dynamite. AND HER TAN LINES! I didn't know you got those from bottled self tanner...

Catherine Zeta Jones: I am still obsessed with CZJ even after recently rewatching Ocean’s Twelve for the first time since Cat and I fell asleep in the theater. Her face, her body, her dress, her earrings, her love for her thousand year old father in law… I am fully behind all of it!

Penelope Cruz: See above. #stunning

I don't know who this woman from Outlander is but I do know she better be on her way to audition at Tweetsie Railroad.

Connie Britton: NO.

Jessica Biel and J. Tim- don’t NO ONE CARE. I don’t know one person who watched ‘The Sinner’ (most people didn’t even know what I was talking about when I asked if they’d heard of it), so the fact that she is nominated is a testament to that Sexy Back money and nothing more. Just her talking about being a producer of the show is like… We get it…you’re the only one who would pay you to be an actress anymore. PS, your arms are fabulous.

Mandy Candy Moore: Olé!

Holy shit Diane Kruger looks amazing.

Unfortunately, Sarah Paulson is one of those I feel looks like she's in something cheap. Really cheap. Like she stole a leotard from the Xanadu Mourning collection and wrapped a table cloth around herself. And I can't say I love the choppiness of her bob.

Michele Williams- I’m still not over how ridiculous you looked on Dawson’s Creek, but your pixie has grown on me over the last few years but OHMYGOD what is that shelf in the back? Lloyd Christmas called…

Seth Myers looks like the singing sword and a foot had a baby and named it Cheremy.

Jamie Chung- First of all, why are you here? Secondly, you look like the winner of a ‘Grunge Bride’ themed stripper contest sponsored by Hefty in 2002. Those shoes….

Alexis Bledel- Let’s get this out of the way: I can’t stand you. You’re a mumbler with creepy Kewpie doll eyes and mouth. But as for what you’re wearing, GASP you’re not wearing solid black so you obviously don’t care about women!! But also, you must not care about yourself either because you look like one of Ariel’s sisters and Dionysus had a baby and it came out haunted.

Why is Dave Franco wearing so much rouge????

Alison Brie- Ok, you can channel Audrey Hepburn, I guess. Although her dress does resemble my senior prom dress from Cache. Oh wait- there’s a pants leg. You’re trash.

William H. Macy: Did Grubby die? That’s the only reason I can think of for Teddy Ruxpin to show up to the Golden Globes in all black…

Gal Gadot is clearly going to an audition for "A Chorus Line" after the Globes. Why else would she steal a maitre'd's jacket and cut it in half?

Saoirse Ronan looks perfect all around. I need all of it immediately, even though I’d look more like Bruce Villanche dressed in drag doing a David Bowie tribute than her svelte awesomeness…

Eva Longoria looks like a pregnant Sharpie.

It took me a solid 3 seconds & a glance at the caption to figure out I was looking at Halle Berry and not some mixed berry bag of Skittles from a prom themed episode of the CW’s Gossip Girl revival. And her bangs look gross and ridiculous. #whywontsheage??

I take it back: Reese Witherspoon looks like the pregnant Sharpie. Or maybe her daughter has decided to become a fashion designer and this was her first foray into an origami—inspired collection? #blacktobasics

Nicole Kidman (or Nicky Kickin it in the Moulin Rouge, as Jack McFarland calls her) looks flawless, as always. The one negative thing I will say is that I find flutter fly cap sleeves to be among the most offensive things in adult female fashion (mainly because the only humans that can pull them off are pre-teens, anorexics and Kate Moss (not that she’d ever wear them).

Viola Davis wins everything. Omg that hair and makeup and jewelry and dress. ⚰️⚰️⚰️

Did Zac-without-a-K Efron want people to mistake him for Milo Ventimiglia? Is that the reason for the mustache? Why is he even there? GASP! Are they already remaking High School Musical (because you know that’s in the works…) with him starring as Troy again?!? #prayerhands

Why exactly is Naomi Campbell at the Golden Globes, must less in a piece from the never-to-be-seen sketches Vivienne Westwood did for Guy Richie’s new pandering remake starring Madonna as Herlock Holmes?

Lily James- You are gorgeous perfection and I mean that because anyone that stars in a live action Disney remake is automatically on my shit list (I’m looking at you, Emmas Stone and Watson…) but what the actual hell are you wearing? You look like a Project Runway contestant’s submission on the theme “Maleficent’s entrance to the party.”

Octavia Spencer looks like the teacher who got to play Glinda’s role in a #metoo fundraising, high school production of Wicked after the lead was stricken with mono.

Greta Gerwig- I’m tempted to allow it, but only if you’re intentionally channeling Marchesa Luisa Casati.

Angelina Jolie- oh. my. god. I know I’m biased (as one of her long lost, adopted children she’s never acknowledged or heard of) but I cannot say one bad thing about this, especially since I’ve been in 100% Bombshell  Manual mode lately and anything with feathers or frills or femininity is giving me LIFE. #bestdressed

Elizabeth Moss: from Polly to Pollyana. Anyone that gets that is my lifelong friend and anyone that doesn’t please never talk to me again. But seriously honey, that waistline is not your friend.

Jessica Chastain- I think I love everything about this but am i crazy or does it make her look a little bulky? Tell me I’m crazy. I’m crazy. (Narrator: She was definitely crazy.)

omg Maggie Gyllenhaal is wearing the same Castle Greyskull, droopy-sleeve of wizard-vagine garment as Debra Messing! Is this a thing?? Gross. And those earrings are stupid too but I don’t know why.

Emilia Clarke is perfection (minus the bow but moving on) and I don’t even love GOT.

Geena Davis stole one of CZJ’S costumes from Chicago and i can’t say that I’m angry. I will say that I’m angry that the head designer at LOFT got hold of it and added a few of those filthy lace panels before she walked the red carpet, but since she still looks pretty flawless…I’LL ALLOW IT.

As always, Lena Headey looks like the drunk, badass aunt who was a groupie before falling into acting so I love her even more than when she gets drunk and sets people on fire on tv. The dress does look like something a goth would make to wear to a Renaissance fair, but who cares when she looks that cool in it?

I love Margot Robbie more than almost anyone in Hollywood today (even though she stole my life’s dream of playing Tonya Harding. Seriously, I’d started writing a short right before they announced that movie and I’m not even kidding), but I can’t say i know exactly what she was going for with this look… an Elsa-possessed mistletoe over her womb to subtly announce she’s expecting? A tribute to the portion of Fantasia where fairies ice skate to ‘Waltz of the Flowers’ as a nod to the ice goddess she plays in ‘I, Tonya?’ I’ve been staring at it for a few minutes now and can honestly say I have no clue.

Gwendolyn Christie- I have no idea what you are wearing but I do know that I am obsessed with your GOT character so you have my permission to do whatever you please.

Kerry Washington unfortunately looks like some anorexic basic at her junior prom. And those floral net booties are what a leprechaun wears to a funeral. wtf. Oh but her hair is on point.

Kate Hudson- Je refuse.

Chris Hemsworth can do no wrong even in a suit made from a brocade table cloth and VELVETEEN shoes so don’t even worry about it, honey.

Michelle Pfeiffer- omg i am heartbroken over how matronly you look!! As anyone who knows me knows, my mother could pass as your identical twin, so I take it kind of personally when you show up on the red carpet dressed as Marian the librarian’s widowed sister, Ovarian.

Zoe Kravtiz- Sweetie, it’s already been done and its name was Natalie Portman. A chunky, funky  emerald earring does make you look like Audrey Hepburn's edgy cousin though. Whatever- you still look gorgeous and I love you.

Kendall Jenner- There are so many things wrong with your look, much less your existence, but I’ll just sum it up with this: T. STRAPPED. POINTY. TOED. SHOES. Also, lay off the brow botox before you look like Debra Messing, or worse, Kylie Jenner. #gasp

Sarah Jessica Parker literally went as her character from Hocus Pocus attending a funeral.

Isabelle Huppert wins the night! Nope, spoke too soon. Her dress has those damned flutter sleeves on it too! What IS that? It’s trash, is what it is…

Roseanne Barr forgot to put a dress over her Spanx…

Ok, that's all I got. I barely watched any of the actual show bc I can't with most of those self important a-holes, so I can't comment on anything "exciting" or "interesting" that might have happened. Let me know if I missed anything highly offensive🥂