#i’m really liking my new major but i am discovering that my brain kind explodes without a space to make physical art in

[copepods]

i NEED to paint more i think it would fix at least 50% of my problems

[creativityobsessed]

Be Brave Adachi, or the musical shaping of episodes 1-4

Part 4: Episode 4

This is part of a 4 part series. You may wish to start with part 1, where I introduced the main musical cue we’ll be following and how it represents Adachi questioning the world as he knew it. Or, if you missed part 2, or part 3, you might want to start there.  

If you would like to follow along, please cue up 13:15 in episode 4.*

HOO BOY does everything happen in Episode 4! I swear every time I went back to rewatch to check something I noticed 2 more things that were worth mentioning. Go get your drink of choice, we’re gonna be here a while.

Since we have so much to talk about, and there’s not much new going on, I’m going to gloss over the 1.5 rotations of Questioning that happen right after Adachi gets off the phone with Tsuge. Y’all probably recognize it by now, right? Right. 

The really interesting new stuff in this episode starts after Kurosawa rescues Adachi and Fujisaki, while they’re walking back to the office. Here, for the first time in full since episode 1, we get a repeat of the guitar music that I called Adachi-at-home in the first post in this series. Now, I’m gonna have to make a slight retraction because a) I didn’t know yet that this was gonna be important later, and b) it’s more interesting than I originally thought. So, to add some nuance, this guitar cue is not just Adachi when he’s on his own, fully relaxed, it’s that plus Adachi ruminating on how he doesn’t compare to Kurosawa. In the first case, he’s wishing for just one of Kurosawa’s good qualities. Here, he’s pointing out that they are “fundamentally different” with overtones of I am fundamentally worse than he is. The super interesting thing that I missed the first time around though is that this is the tune of the Home section. Sure it’s in C-sharp major (ish) rather than A major (not exactly a related key, but not an unrelated key either, at least if you ask Brahms^), but the melody is the same enough that I DEFINITELY should have caught that. What can I say, *shrug* pandemic brain.

So, anyways, given what I have since discovered about this guitar cue, I’d like to revise what I think it’s about - it’s about Adachi’s unacknowledged crush on Kurosawa. He still doesn’t realize yet that Kurosawa is something he wants, but moments like these show us just how much he wants it. 

Around 16:15, at the end of Fujisaki’s internal monologue in the elevator, Questioning comes in. This time, though, it’s not about Kurosawa in the slightest. When I was first trying to come up with a point to this series so my Intro to Musicology professor wouldn’t hunt me down for writing a “here’s some stuff” paper, I was all ready to say Kurosawa is the answer and call it a day. But if that’s the case, then why does Questioning start here? Sure, he just found out that Fujisaki knows about Kurosawa’s crush, but the worldview that he’s questioning isn’t that Fujisaki is more observant than he thought. It’s his reaction to her disinterest in relationships. Furthermore, this version of Questioning is far more stable than previous ones - instead of a tritone or other non-chord set of vertically stacked pitches, most of the Question phrases end on unison D, or some version of D + F-sharp (usually in the m6 orientation, rather than M3). Each Question phrase is approximately in time, or at least close enough that we have a sense of when the next will happen, where in the first few versions of Questioning the space between each phrase rotation felt indeterminate. I think what we’re seeing here is that even though Adachi still has questions, his life has already changed. He has a better sense of the people around him, and is less terrified of asking questions.

The Questioning section actually pauses when Kurosawa notices Adachi’s wound, and we don’t head into the next section immediately. In fact, we don’t ever get the next section here - we jump straight to Home, as Adachi starts back in on how much better Kurosawa is than him. It’s in the piano here, I think mostly so that they don’t have to change instrumentation midway through (we’ll see why in a second). This version of Home is the same slow tempo as the guitar version, and it’s very dry. All of the harmony is in block chords, which contributes to a kind of emptiness. But that’s ok because it doesn’t last. 

After a single (musical) sentence, Adachi begins to hear Kurosawa’s own self-loathing through his thoughts. As this happens, the chords that were once in blocks stretch out into arpeggios, filling in the spaces around the melody, in a move that reminds me so much of the way that letting go of a bit of anxiety can feel like unfurling from a tiny space.** Kurosawa’s “I’m sure he finds me annoying” is immediately followed by the addition of a cello line - and I’m about to go do some rewatching looking for where cello is important, but my first impression hypothesis is that cello represents Kurosawa’s inner headspace, particularly after some of the ways I noticed it being used in ep. 7. The cello twines around the piano line that we’re already familiar with, possibly as a metaphor for the way that Adachi and Kurosawa are having similar thoughts. And, as with earlier episodes, we end without a full resolution - we get a cadence, sort of, but the piano continues for a bit and ends with a cluster of notes with G as the main thing that catches our ear. For those unfamiliar, G is not a particularly tonic-feeling note in A major. It’s flat 7, which helps tremendously in feeling like we are NOT in major, better suited to the melancholy nature of the various thoughts flying around here. 

And then. Ok, and THEN. The part I have been writing this entire series to talk about. So, to set the scene, right? Adachi thanks Kurosawa, Kurosawa deflects but gives Adachi a direct, blinding smile, and for once Adachi doesn’t squint. He returns the smile. He has become comfortable here. 

As if that weren’t enough, the music comes in, and yes, we’re back to Questioning, but it is absolutely in time, with two beats of 6/8 between each iteration of the Question Phrase. Furthermore, this version has both guitar and glockenspiel in it - the guitar is Adachi’s home instrument, and here it suggests he’s become comfortable with questioning the world around him, while the glock does more to highlight the difference in the treatment of time. 

We don’t move on from this section for a bit, because Fujisaki interrupts his thoughts. We do, however, get hints of the next section - a rising line in the piano timed in the same way as the next section will start, for example. The underpinnings of the Questioning section provide a lush background for Adachi’s monologue on visiting Fujisaki’s mother, something the first version of Questioning could not have done. Adachi is being very brave here, and the changes to our favorite cue are a reflection of that. 

As he finishes we head in to the section of the piece, which is mostly accompanying shots of Fujisaki being overwhelmed, Adachi being worried that his attempt to be brave has gone wrong, and not much happening. There’s a weird loop in the middle, which makes me think that they tried it with the whole track and it felt waaaay too long without anything happening. 

Anyway, after she reassures him that his bravery is appreciated, we head into the Answer section. Adachi and Fujisaki’s chitchat isn’t what’s important here. The important thing is we have the Answer section, and here it is fully scored, electric guitar and bass, percussion, the works. Not only that, but the cue ends, and it ENDS ON THE TONIC. We did it folks! We found the resolution! And it turns out, the way to get there was to BE BRAVE.

This may not be the end of the whole series, but this is AN ending. This is the pan-out that we get at the end of every 90s Hollywood teen romcom. Adachi has Learned Something with capital letters, and it’s not that he loves Kurosawa or even that he needs to give up his low self-esteem. It’s that he can be brave, and he can contribute. It’s hard, and it may take four episodes of building to it, but he can do it.

Which is a lesson he’s really gonna need for the beginning of 5. But that’s a story for another time.

If you’ve followed my nerdery this far and you’ve enjoyed this series, please let me know via likes, replies, and/or reblogs. I may eventually continue the series if there’s enough interest (there’s some FASCINATING things that happen to this cue in episode 7, for example), but for now, I’m gonna go take a nap.

I did a follow up in response to an ask, if you really really want more.

*All video timings and quotes are from Irozuku Subs videos. If you’re watching somewhere else, your mileage may vary slightly.

^If you’re a SUPER HARD CORE theory nerd, look up Neo-Riemannian Theory for how this works. Or just if you want your brain to explode. Either way, have fun, cause I need it for my dissertation and I STILL don’t quite understand how it works.

**Not an Academically Approved metaphor. This is why I’m doing this on tumblr.

[lilacmoon83]

Lightning in a Bottle

Also on Fanfiction.net and A03

Chapter 29: Crosswinds, Pt 1

It had been ten days since they had found the passengers and subsequently the explosion that had injured Killian and unfortunately killed Vance. It had also been ten days with no Callings and though they hoped that meant it was all over, somehow, both Emma and David knew that this lull probably wasn't permanent.

Emma visited Ruth's grave that morning and put some flowers down for her. She hadn't been here in a while and truthfully, she was only six when Ruth died. She didn't remember a lot, except her motherly love and a few wise words. In a lot of ways, David and MM had always been her surrogate parents, even when they were young. They had seen her through her tremulous teen years, scolded her for how wild she had gotten a few times with Lily, and endured her screaming at them when they did try to step in with any kind of discipline. And somehow, she had turned out very well, the credit with which she attributed to them.

With her father, things had been good with him once he got clean and turned his life around. But David and MM were always the ones she would go to for advice. However, they were dealing with a lot too, so she had decided to come talk to her mother that morning. She knew David and MM would both drop everything for her, but she felt she needed to go this one on her own for a while.

"And so...that's where we are. I'm not saying I'm jealous of David...but MM's world didn't really move while he was gone. It's like she just stopped and waited for him," she explained.

"But…Killian didn't and I don't blame him. He should have moved on...five years is a long time. But it still hurts," she confessed.

"I still love him...and I think he still loves me. But we can't...he's married and the whole thing is a nightmare," Emma said.

"Anyway...thanks for listening, Mom. You can be proud of us. David and MM did a pretty bang up job with me and somehow I'm not a complete mess. Just half of one," she joked.

"Dad's better too now. He didn't drink a drop, even when he thought we were dead," she added.

"And MM is the rock and the badass she's always been. All things work together for good...that's what you always used to tell us," she mused and smirked.

"Romans 8:28...pretty trippy there with the number," she said, as she stood up and quietly walked away. Killian had made a full recovery and was checking out of the hospital today so she decided to head there to see him.

~*~

In the ten days that had passed since the rescue of the passengers, David and Margaret had not wasted the quiet lull that had set in. Margaret had taken a few days off and they had spent them decompressing together, before they began to pursue finding Johanna and checking in on Glinda and Regina, who were treating the once missing, now found passengers. They had finally located Johnna's new residence and were going there today, but first, they stopped by Vance's memorial that was being held, albeit, unofficially.

Upon his death, the NSA had cut ties with Mr. Gold and went quiet on the investigation into flight 828. Gold wasn't surprised and it was agreed that they would collaborate together in the continued research. Gold was very impressed by the records and boards that David had built in the garage and was now a fairly frequent guest at the Nolan house. Henry had taken to him as well and Mr. Gold was always very eager to see Henry's drawings.

Gold was attending the service and the two of them hung back, as the memorial proceeded. Unfortunately, near the end, Agent Arthur King, as well as one of Vance's protege, agent Powell, spotted them and came to confront them.

"You have a lot of nerve, Mr. Nolan," Powell said.

"Excuse me?" Margaret questioned defensively.

"He's the reason that Vance is dead," Arthur claimed.

"David saved dozens of innocent people and it kills us that Vance didn't make it out, but it is not David's fault," Margaret insisted and he squeezed her hand.

"He was a good man and we're just paying our respects. He risked a lot and it saved a lot of people, including our son," David said.

"Just leave," Powell insisted. They joined hands and started out again and they were quiet for a while, as he drove them, not noticing they were being followed. They arrived in the vicinity of the address they had discovered Johanna lived about ten minutes later. He parked a couple blocks away and they joined hands, as they took off on foot.

"Do you think it's strange that Johanna moved right before we found out that she was on the plane?" Margaret asked. He shrugged.

"Maybe a little...but then again, she might not have come back to the life she had before. Not very many people got as lucky as me when they came home," he said fondly, as he gently cupped her cheek. She smiled at him and he noticed someone out of the corner of his eye.

"David Nolan?" the young man asked.

"Who are you?" he asked skeptically.

"Aaron Glover...I'm an investigative reporter," he replied. That immediately turned David off and they kept walking.

"Stop following us," David warned.

"I do a podcast called 828 Gate," he said.

"We're not interested in talking to the press," David refuted.

"Even if I can tell you that one hour before you helped rescue those missing passengers, a Black hawk helicopter touched down in Red Hook?" Aaron asked, stopping them in their tracks. He turned to him.

"You can prove that someone in the government is involved in this?" David asked.

"I have a source…" he said vaguely.

"And did this source tell you who was on that helicopter?" Margaret asked.

"I don't know who it is, but the person calling the shots is referred to as the Major," he revealed. David and Margaret exchanged a glance.

"Military?" David asked.

"Definitely...and we're talking classified, but with my source and your help, we could blow this thing wide open," Aaron replied.

"We'll think about it," David said, as he took the man's card and they continued on toward their destination.

"David...how high do you think this thing goes?" she asked.

"Really high...I mean, they were keeping the director of the NSA in the dark, so it probably goes higher than we can imagine," he replied.

"You...you don't think they know what Henry can do...do you?" she asked. He looked at her.

"Not yet...and we have to keep it that way," he said, as he stopped for a moment.

"I promise you that I will make sure they don't know about our son," he vowed and she hugged him tightly. He kissed her tenderly for a long moment, before they continued on their way.

~*~

"I got here as soon as I could," Emma said, as she arrived at the property upstate where Glinda Goode was housing the rescued passengers.

"Thanks for coming. You're the first one here. We asked all the passengers that showed up at the hanger when the plane exploded to come," Regina replied, as she showed her inside.

"How are they doing?" Emma asked.

"Barely functioning...aside from Aurora, of course. They have shared movements at times, but they are mostly in a vegetative state," Regina replied, as she was astonished to see them all jerk together.

"Why do you think they haven't come around yet?" Emma asked.

"Medically...it could be that the brain has shut the body down to recover from the intense trauma, but that's just a shot in the dark theory. In reality, I have no idea," Regina admitted.

"Hey...you're doing your best and I'm sure they'll come around," Emma said, as she touched one man's hand and she had a Calling when she did. She saw a ground covered in snow and a man's hand touch the snow. She could hear what sounded like labored breathing from him.

"Find her," the man's voice said, as the Calling ended. This was definitely different than any Calling before and very intense.

"You just had a Calling," Regina said.

"Uh yeah...and it said find her. It wasn't my voice this time," Emma replied, looking at the man, as Regina opened his file.

"Paul Santino," she said.

"It says he was married, but his wife, Helen, didn't show up at the hanger," Regina said, as Emma looked at the file.

"Find her...maybe I'm supposed to find his wife," she said, as they noticed the man was suddenly awake and aware of everything around him.

"Paul?" Regina asked, but he looked confused and they exchanged a glance.

"Who is Paul?" he asked.

"That's your name...do you remember anything?" Emma asked. He was silent for a moment, but could return nothing but a blank stare.

"I...I'm sorry, I don't know who I am. What happened? How can I not know who I am?" he asked in alarm. Regina put her hand on his arm.

"It's okay...you've been through a bit of trauma, but you're okay now and we'll figure this out," she assured, before pulling Emma aside.

"Amnesia?" the blonde asked. Regina nodded.

"After the trauma he went through, I'm not surprised. How did you wake him up?" she asked.

"I don't know...I just touched him. It must have been the Calling," Emma replied, with a shrug.

"Can you try with some of the others?" Regina asked.

"I guess…" Emma replied, as she touched Anton's arm, but there was no Calling and no change in Anton's vegetative state.

"Sorry…" she replied.

"It's okay...it was a long shot. The catatonia could be the body's way of forcing the brain to rest and rebuild neural pathways to heal them," Regina explained.

"Are you going to try to track down Paul's wife?" the doctor asked.

"That seems to be what the Calling wants. Can I borrow that file?" she asked. Regina nodded and handed it to her. She looked through it while she waited for the other passengers to arrive.

~*~

David and Margaret arrived at the Brownstone residence and pressed the doorbell. Soon, a woman that Margaret hadn't seen since she was twelve answered the door.

"Johanna Mason?" David asked.

"Yes?" she asked, as she looked at them and was definitely trying to figure out why his wife seemed familiar.

"My name is David Nolan...I was on the plane and this is my wife, Margaret," he said.

"You were on the plane?" she asked. He nodded.

"But that's not really why we're here," he replied, as he turned to his wife.

"My maiden name is Blanchard," she said, as she looked the woman in the eyes. Johanna gasped.

"Mary Margaret?!" she exclaimed, as she came out onto the porch and they hugged.

"My goodness...look how beautiful you are. I knew you would be...you were such a fair child," Johanna gushed, making her blush. David smiled and squeezed her hand.

"And David...you're the little boy that was always so smitten with her and picked all the snowdrops out of the garden," she recalled.

"I am and I'm still smitten," he said.

"Please...come in, both of you," she urged, as they stepped inside.

"How incredible is it that you were on the plane too?" she asked.

"It's quite the coincidence. My sister wanted to take the later flight, so I stayed behind with her and our son too," he explained.

"Oh my goodness...you lost all three of them?" Johanna asked.

"I did...but then I got a miracle and got them all back," Margaret replied.

"I'm so glad for you…" she said.

"My husband and I tried, but I'm afraid it just didn't work. I'm too different now he says...but I think it's because I know he's seeing someone else," she replied.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Johanna," Margaret replied.

"It's okay...I just moved here and I hope this can be a fresh start. But if you're not here about the plane...can I ask why you are?" she questioned. Margaret nodded.

"It's about my mother," she said.

"Eva?" she asked in confusion. Margaret nodded and showed her the article on her phone.

"I know that everyone told me that my mother had late stage cancer and died soon after...but this article suggests that her death was more sudden," Margaret said.

"No...your mother got sick and then she was gone," Johanna said quickly.

"Are you sure?" Margaret asked. Johanna looked at her for a moment.

"What...what are you asking me?" she questioned. Margaret sighed.

"I think...I think there was foul play," she said.

"Who...who do you think would want to hurt your mother?" Johanna asked. Margaret glanced at the article.

"The woman that, according to this article, was her longtime rival," she answered, as she watched the other woman's reaction.

"Oh...no, Cora and Eva barely knew each other," Johanna refuted.

"If this article is correct...then that's not exactly true. MM's father chose Eva over Cora," David interjected.

"You shouldn't believe everything you read in the newspaper. You know people love to gossip," Johanna chided.

"They do...but I don't think this is gossip and I think my father's wife did something to my mother. I need the truth, especially if she could be a danger to my family," Margaret said.

"Oh Mary Margaret...there is nothing for you to fear. Your mother's death was a sad tragedy, but there was no foul play," Johanna insisted.

"She hated my mother...and I have two children to protect from her," Margaret said.

"Sweetheart…" Johanna said.

"And a husband that I lost and just got back. I need to know what really happened to my mother," Margaret added.

"I'm sorry...but I can't help you," Johanna replied.

"Then you do know...you know what really happened," Margaret stated.

"I'm sorry...but you both need to leave now," Johanna said.

"What are you hiding?" Margaret demanded to know.

"Mary Margaret...please, please let this go," Johanna pleaded with her.

"Cora did something, didn't she?" the raven haired beauty asked.

"Let this go...and keep your distance from Cora Mills," she advised, as she showed them out quite abruptly.

"She knows what happened, David…" Margaret realized.

"It seems that way...but looks like we're going to have to keep digging without her," he said, as he kissed her forehead. She sighed and she rested her head against his chest, as he hugged her, just as his phone rang.

"Hey Regina…" he answered, as Margaret lifted her head.

"Uh yeah...we can come up there. See you soon," he said.

"Regina is asking the passengers that showed up at the hanger to come up to Glinda's beach house upstate," he replied, as he led her back the way they came to find their car.

"While we're there...I can ask Regina if she can dig up my mother's medical records," Margaret said. He nodded.

"It's a place to start anyway," he agreed.

~*~

Killian buttoned his shirt that morning. His injuries were nearly completely healed and though he was still off, he had decided to go into the office to do some paperwork that morning. He felt his wife wrap her arms around him from behind and immediately felt a stab of guilt. He loved Milah...but never had loved her the way he loved Emma. When he thought Emma was dead, it was easier to love and move on with Milah. But now that she was back...he found himself wanting the only arms around him to be Emma's. It was horrible and he hated himself for it, but that was how he felt.

"Are you sure you want to go into the office so soon? No one is expecting you to," she said. He smirked.

"I know...but the paperwork never stops. Worst part of the job," he replied.

"I beg to differ. You getting caught in an explosion is the worst part of the job," she said. He smirked.

"Touche," he agreed, as she pecked him on the lips and then slid her hands down his abdomen.

"You know...you could go in a little later and we could…" she said trailing off.

"I'm ovulating," she added. He took a deep breath. Before the plane, he had been ready for kids even before she was. It was a little odd actually since she told him she wanted to wait until she finished her degree in night school. But since Emma had gotten back...she was suddenly ready and very eager to have a baby.

"I wish I could...but I'm still not quite up to par. I need a little more time, I think," he said, pushing his reluctance off on his injuries.

"Yes…I suppose it's a little soon," she agreed, as she gave him a kiss. He sighed and finished buttoning his shirt. Guilt ate at him again and he couldn't get out of the house fast enough...

~*~

David parked their car at the beach house and they got out.

"Wow...this is quite a place," Margaret said, as they joined hands.

"No doubt...it reminds me of all those trips we took the kids on upstate," he said, looking at her fondly. She swooned at that.

"Oh me too...that little cabin in the Catskills when they were seven. That was such an amazing trip," she recalled. He smiled and kissed her tenderly, as they reminisced.

~*~

Eight Years Ago

Margaret looked out the snowy window, as she stood in the kitchen and watched her husband try to dig them out. They had rented this cabin and brought the kids here for a long weekend. It had been a ton of fun so far, but they were supposed to head back today.

"I think...we're going to have to call in sick tomorrow. There is no way we're getting out of here today," David said, as he came back inside. She left the pancake batter she was stirring and pecked him on the lips.

"Oh no…" she said, feigning disappointment and then giggled, as he pressed his cheek against hers.

"You're going to have to act more disappointed when you call your boss," he teased. She giggled.

"I can't help it...being snowed in with my family for an extra day just sounds like pure bliss to me," she said. He smiled and kissed her tenderly.

"Me too," he agreed, as the kids hurried out from their room and jumped on the couch to look outside.

"Wow!" Henry said.

"Are we staying an extra day?" Olive asked.

"We are…" David replied.

"Can we play in the snow?" Henry asked.

"Mmm...after breakfast. Go get dressed and wash up," Margaret replied, as they scampered off and they went back to making breakfast together.

~*~

"That was a really good day," she said. He smiled.

"It was...and now there can be so many more," he replied, as they went inside.

[alysses123]

@homoeroticsubtextinspace made me do it

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

Well now I do! But seriously, no not ever.

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

3 I’d say. Feel uneasy but not terrified

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Idk, no one in particular I guess

4. What is your favorite word?

In english I love arson, idk why. In french (my native language), couette

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

I love oak trees but I’m not one, i’d say more of a plum tree

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

Shit I messed up my eyeliner

7. What shirt are you wearing?

Simple black one with long sleeves

8. What do you label yourself as?

Small

9. Bright room or dark room?

Bright room! With sun! or plenty of lamps!

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Definitely sleeping!

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

8. I feel like all of my childhood happened when I was 8. 

12. Who told you they loved you last?

My boyfriend I think. We’re quite cheesy actually

13. Your worst enemy?

Capitalism and how it makes us feel bad for being human.

14. What is your current desktop picture?

It’s Mtg art! Slimefoot the stowaway! Loooove it so much!

15. Do you like someone?

Plenty of people! I like my friends, most of my family, my boyfriend, the cat at my place, random people...

16. The last song you listened to?

Honestly no idea

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

I’d have said the orange blob but @homoeroticsubtextinspace said Bezos and honestly? Mood.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

Me personally I wouldn’t like punching someone. However I would love to see nazis punched in the face.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

No slaves, bad thing to enslave people.

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

My hair! Love it! Especially when I dye it on shave it!

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

I would look like a very average guy I think, Not short nor tall, a bit on the skinnier side, brown haired… Well like me but as a guy.

Idk. I guess I would want to have sex because it must feel different when you have a penis.

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

Not really, I don’t want to hide my talents!

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

Slugs. Hate them.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

Bread with some cereals, goat cheese, figs, honey, pepper. 

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

Buy useful stuff for our home. Maybe curtains.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

I don’t want to travel by plane! but I’d say Iceland, looks beautiful.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? 

Uuuuuuuuh…. Idk. I like infused rum so I’d say HSE.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? 

Don’t hurt others.

29. What is your favorite expletive?

Fuck. I also use Putain in french but I don’t particularly use it

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

My teddy bear I think? Idk, I don’t have a lot of belongings so everything I have, I love and want to keep.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

I don’t think I’ve lived a horrible experience. bad ones but not horribles ones. 

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

Uh… weird question but honestly it doesn’t feel very me, so I wouldn’t want to move out of France.

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

I think the deads belong with Death, it’d fuck up ones brain to see someone who isn’t anymore.

34. What was your last dream about?

A coat. I want to make myself one soooo bad.But idk how I want it to be, so it’s hard.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

porcupine? No, I’m a terrible porcupine.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

Yeah 2 times I’d say. Once I fell off a horse and once I fell of a playground trapeze.

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

Yes! I like it but it doesn’t snow enough :(

38. What is the color of your socks?

Brown, they are handknitted by a friend!

39. What type of music do you like?

here are some stuff i like: 

Uuuuuuuh rap, funk, I really like the Cure, Florence and the machine, Devo, les Wriggles, Renaud (his old stuff because the new stuff is… bad. Really bad.), Zebda, Diana Ross, Earth wind and fire...

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

Sunrise! feels magical.

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

I don’t really like milkshakes :/

42. What football team do you support?

None.

43. Do you have any scars?

A few. One on my cheeks looks really badass but it’s from my cat. One on my leg from when I fell off a bike. A few burn ones because I’m not careful around hot stuff, and my work involves hot irons. A new one from a dog bite. And three inked scars (okay, they’re tattoos but technically it’s a scar) 

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

I graduated  a few weeks ago, so I’d say I want to work in my field. 

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

More confidence! That’s all n.n

46. Are you reliable?

I think I am.

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? 

Am I cringy rn?

48. Do you hold grudges?

I can put up with a lot, but when I decide I’m done, we’re done.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

A cat and a shark! 

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

I have no idea. 

51. Are you a good liar?

I have major anxiety if I don’t feel it’s the right thing to do but I think I can pull it off quite well, I’m a good actress.

52. How long could you go without talking? 

Talking? a day or two if there’s no one around, even though I’d probably start talking to myself. Expressing myself via text or something? A couple hours, not much more n.n

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

Fringe. Very bad decision.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

Yes, of course.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

No, very bad at it.

56. What do you like on your toast?

Cheese

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

pants. Ugly, it was to explain something.

58. What would be your dream car?

None, I don't like cars.

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

No, but after the shower, I need to get most of the water off my skin before using the towel. Otherwise the towel feels too wet.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

I think there’s very little chance we’re the only living (whatever that means) beings in the whole UNIVERSE. That shit’s big.

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

No. I say I don’t believe in astrology but I know a part of me is like “what if”, so I try not to feed it ;)

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

A because it’s the first letter of my name.

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

Oh hard one! Dinosaurs are cooler as in 90’s style cool, dragons are cooler as in badass col.

64. What do you think about babies?

Ugh.

[thequlturecritic]

QULTURE’S TOP 20 SERIES OF 2018

20.  BUSY TONIGHT

You guys! Good energy is, like, totally in right now. And it’s never going away. You may know her from Freaks and Geeks, but I know her from Cougar Town as CC’s fun-loving, super-supportive sidekick. When you watch Busy Phillips on her cheeky, positive-vibes only E! talk show, a sense of “we’re all in this together” and “being kind to one another” is definitely a recipe for demolishing disaster. Remember how major Chelsea’s career became because of what so many probably considered a silly little talk show… well. I’m not a fortune teller or anything, but I could totally see Ms. Phillips taking over the universe. I want to be one of her minions. Cheers to another leading lady of late night! 

19. THE VOICE

I’ve always been anti-reality competition shows when it comes to singing, only because I’m a total snob when it comes to what I subject my ears to. My musical tastes are versed and varied, but I still am pretty picky about who I let in to my drums, mostly because I need it to stimulate an eargasm and coincide with my life’s soundtrack. When American Idol launched, I definitely was enamored with Kelly Clarkson’s powerful vocals, but I still kept the close mind that an artist is discovered naturally, not “created” by producers with the backdrop and illusion that AMERICA gets to vote and pick the winner. Ah, who knows, maybe they do… I would just never take the time out to vote. HOWEVER. When I found out Kelly was going to be a judge on The Voice, which is a whole separate animal than Idol, I was shitting my pants with glee, because she really is such a goddamn force of fucking nature. Her spirit is overwhelmingly angelic and I simply love everything about watching her. Last season’s competition was magical, at least for me, perhaps because it was the first time I really got to experience the message and place the show has in the universe. It really is inspiring and lovely to see how much these artists themselves care for the teams they build and the individuals they want to see grow – regardless of whether or not it leads to fame. Alicia Keys and Kelly Clarkson’s dynamic was really something special that inspired me in so many ways.

18. COMEDIANS IN CARS GETTING COFFEE

I love nothing more than a loose format, sans makeup, realistic conversation between famous people. Talk shows rock and all, but there’s something to be said for two people we all know and (often) admire, getting together and doing something that, ya know, regular people do! Like… go out to breakfast. I was never a fan of the Seinfeld sitcom, mostly because when it was popular it was kinda over my head and nothing that interested me. I’d probably be more inclined to watch and enjoy it now because of how much Veep has made me adore Julia-Louis Dreyfus and now much Jerry Seinfeld’s Netflix series about him… getting coffee… with comedians… has made me adore his admiration for vintage cars, honesty in humanity and one of the most important things we all seem to forget sometimes – which is to LAUGH! We live in such politically charged times, and while I get how important it is to talk about the very things we were always brainwashed to believe were impolite to talk about, we also need to be able to make jokes and not be so sensitive about everything. Ya heard?

17. AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL

Oh how I love me some Tyra, but it seems the future is all about Ashley Graham. Yet again – another fucking beautiful superhuman. I am really starting to hate that people even think of someone as “plus size”, but hey, it’s the world we live in. All I see when I look at her is someone with a whole lot of personality, gorgeous features and a personality that you’d be crazy to not gravitate toward. She is living proof that good vibes, energy and kindness (in the fashion industry?! How dare you!) go a long way. Tyra and Co. are doing such a bang-up job sending young women empowering messages about feeling safe in their own skin by infusing all shapes, sizes, colors and archetypes. This cycle was full of hilarious moments and was totally unpredictable. Despite her Trump-loving, Republican ways and complaining about being transformed into a “fire-crotch”, I was rooting for Liberty, Rio and Jeana to compete in the Top 3. That certainly evolved as the season went on, mainly because Jeana’s insecurities were getting the best of her (she had alopecia and they convinced her to be the alien-like, bald beauty – which she looked 10X better as vs. wearing wigs) and Rio had the most off-putting temper tantrum that had me and my bestie Carlee yelling at the the TV, “Who da fuck you think you talkin’ to?!” as if we were speaking for Tyra. Be humble, girls! Beauty ain’t just skin deep. At the end of the day, I loved seeing Kyla take the crown, because her activism, big heart and growth really was something special at the end of the day. Keep up the good work! I want 1000 more cycles.

16. SWEETBITTER

Starz’s adaptation of the best-selling novel by Stephanie Danler is short, but bittersweet. Ella Purnell is a breakout star, headlining the cast of unknowns who are all as equally as fantastic. I think that’s one of my favorite things about it (Caitlin Fitzgerald, in particular, who definitely has that thing) – how naturally gifted the entire cast is. Purnell stars as Tess, an All-American girl from bumfuck who makes her way to New York City to chase the dream, even if she has no idea what it is yet. Any of you who have worked in the service industry as a waiter or waitress will appreciate the authenticity of how intimidating, grueling and chaotic the industry can be… but how much fun it can be once your shift is over.

15. MANIAC

What is Netflix’s limited, vivid, disturbing, funny, emotional rollercoaster about? My brain is exploding from trying to analyze. Typically, in each episode, I get so lost in the perfection that is Emma Stone, I’m completely enthralled by how inspiring it is to watch one of our most exceptional young talents only seem to get better and better. It’s also always a pleasant surprise to see someone like Jonah Hill continue to prove himself as truly versatile. Remember when these two were just getting into stoner cinema and taking over the shelves at Blockbuster, during their Superbad days? Justin Theroux, plus. Sally Field, super-plus. Julia Garner (also of Ozark), a star on the rise! It might make you feel a little crazy while watching, but hey, we all go a little mad sometimes.

14. SHARP OBJECTS

Gillian Flynn’s book to big screen success with Gone Girl made a lot of us anxious to see what would be translated next. Following the trend of mini-series, binge-worthy greatness and big stars coming to the “small” screen, HBO announced Amy Adams would star in Sharp Objects, a dark, sultry murder mystery set in the swampy south that co-stars the amazing Patricia Clarkson – one of my absolute favorite actors. I’ll never forget when I “discovered” her, in Lisa Cholodenko’s High Art, one of my all-time faves. There’s a similar hypnotism with the limited series which also features a deliciously naked Chris Messina, and, of course, the direction of the man I’d say is pretty much cinematic perfection these days – Jean Marc Valee. If you have not yet seen Dallas Buyers Club, and another all-time favorite of mine, Wild, you are missing out. I’m assuming you have watched all of Big Little Lies once or twice, and can’t wait for season two next year. Neither can I. These are the people doing AWESOME awesome things in Hollywood.

13. AMERICAN HORROR STORY: APOCALYPSE

So, I’m always back and forth with AHS. I always love how visually stunning it is, but some seasons either lack substance or are literally just too fucking freaky for me to engage. I can not even set my eyes on Freak Show, thought Cults was too gory and scattered (although fresh off of the Trump presidency was a possible prediction of the future if we don’t all get our shit together) and definitely didn’t even give that Roanoke one a chance. The first two seasons rocked, and Gaga slayed in Hotel, but being that I love witches (Hocus Pocus, Witches of Eastwick) I have to say Coven is my favorite season. I love every Farmiga in life, Precious’ Gaborey Sidibe always makes me laugh and Emma Roberts is a rock star. How gorgeous?! She’s also such a little asshole in the best way. She’s someone I can picture punching me in the face, and I’d invite her to. Apocalypse is the best infusion of boy/girl magic and the ultimate comradery casting wise – as what could make for a perfect finale for the series ties all of Ryan Murphy’s brilliance together. That’s just my opinion – because I think a great series needs to know when to wrap it up, but these days everything is all about milking everything to the last drop, so… idk.

12. THE CONNERS

Roseanne returning was definitely the best of the best in reboot land, until her big mouth got her fired from ABC and launched The Conners, which features the entire cast minus a dead mother. I still respect her as an artist and will always love when TV wasn’t so linked to the Twitterverse, but these days I guess everyone really does have to be super careful about the shit they say – especially when we should know better that racism isn’t cool. It’s such an odd thing, because Roseanne was always so controversial, brave with their material, and was one of the first shows to have an out lesbian comedian/actress and character (the great Sandra Bernhard)… so… idk. That Sarah Gilbert though… she’s somethin’ special.

11. THE GOOD PLACE

Kristen Bell!!!!!!! That’s all. Ok, well, that’s not all… because Ted Danson is equally as amazing. Who wouldn’t love someone married to a dame like Mary Steenburgen?! I’ve been a fan of his since Three Men (and a Little Lady!). The diversity, quick wit, modern spin on the classic sitcom and concept behind this hit NBC series reminds us of why the network is always killing it when it comes to delivering quality, quantity and maintaining its colorful edge. I’m surprised I didn’t get into this show when it premiered, as season 4 approaches and the Globes, and surely the Emmy’s now are getting into recognizing genius when they see it. This show is filled with all the good feels! Maybe Heaven really is a place on Earth.

10. WILL & GRACE

When the reboot of W&G first returned to NBC, I was a bit underwhelmed by some of the writing. It seemed forced and a bit insecure – but it just took a few episodes for them to really get back in the swing of things and season 2 of the return is really on point. Debra Messing is better than ever (congrats on a Globe nomination!), as are Eric, Megan and Sean Hayes – who I’ve always greatly admired because of, what I like to consider his “big break” – the film, Billy’s Hollywood Screen Kiss. Growing up gay, Will and Grace was a trailblazing, extremely important and relevant show to so many of us because there wasn’t much of that on TV. But I’ll always remember that adorable indie of Sean’s. He should make more movies! I love him in Pieces of April too!

9. I LOVE YOU AMERICA: with SARAH SILVERMAN

Sarah has always been my absolute favorite comedian. Jesus is Magic is probably one of the most brilliant stand-up comedy feature films I’ve ever seen (are there many of those) combining music, comedy, political satire, sexually inappropriate and explicit linguistics… nothing is off limits. From jokes about AIDS, Martin Luther King Jr. and the Holocaust, to her dead grandmother’s rape to pussy jokes about child lesbians she’s related to. On her new Hulu series, Silverman takes a tour of the great country we live in, United States of A, talking to Trump supporters, men and women of all colors, shapes and sizes and makes an honest, unbiased, non-judgmental effort to deliver an intellectual perspective on all things current and heated in the minds of many. I love her condescending approach, ability to keep her cool, remain true to herself and do something important with her career. It’s a humbled and divine dose of reality that I think we all need, as at the end of the day she’s basically trying to unite us and get people to understand that despite our differences, respect and kindness can truly inspire change.

8. POSE

First of all – watch Paris is Burning, if you’ve never seen it.

I remember when I worked for the super cool East-coast indie video chain, TLA Video, it was one of the most popular rentals in our Gay and Lesbian section, as it should be. It’s a classic documentary that captures the heart, sole and strut of African American LGBTQ culture during the AIDS epidemic, when being a queen and going to the balls would begin to define what FIERCE meant for a generation. (Play: Azealia Banks, Fierce). It’s one of RuPaul’s favorite movies and certainly inspiration for Ryan Murphy’s vivid and heartfelt FX series starring Evan Peters, James Van Der Beek, Kate Mara and a wonderful assortment of newcomers including the fetch, fierce, versatile and gorgeous MJ Rodriguez, Dominique Jackson and (MY FAVE) Indya Moore.

7. CAMPING

Ever since 13 Going on 30, I’ve known Jennifer Garner was a unicorn. She has that innate ability to charm, impress and entertain us with charisma and natural comedic talent. When it comes to the American adaptation of the Brit series Camping, developed for HBO (in part with Girls’ master Lena Dunham), the team surely arranged the most perfect blend of talent for both behind and in front of the camera. Garner brings the most complicated and hilarious nuances to her character and proves she is more than capable of leading a most diverse and perfectly perfect blend of talent.

6. OZARK

Janet McTeer!! OMG! This woman is amazing and really the force that makes the sophomore season of the hit Netflix drug smuggling/money laundering/gangsta livin’ series all the more bombastic. Sure, Jason Bateman continues to be awesome in every way, but the women on the latest season (even the creepy old meth lady who wants a baby at 99) really slay and own the show, keeping us on the edges of our seats and beyond impressed with how hard anyone with a vagina is proving that they are taking over the world these days. As if we needed more reasons to be obsessed with Laura Linney – she takes her character to new heights, getting more screen time and really being thrust into a more evolved dynamic – sort of how Robin Wright does on House of Cards. As though the audience was more drawn to the female than the male lead the series was built around. But Janet McTeer?! Holy fuck, Janet McTeer. She’ll make your skin crawl and keep you up at night… binge-watching.

5. THE AFFAIR

Showtime’s scandalous, suspenseful and intricate portrait of love, marriage and infidelity has been one of my must-see series since its debut. The entire cast is pure magic, especially the four leads – Dominic West, Ruth Wilson, Maura Tierney and Joshua Jackson. I’m constantly lobbying for Tierney, who continues to blow my mind with everything from those perfect, pouty lips to the way she can make my heart melt with a single tear. Last season, the twists and turns were so unexpected – something so refreshing these days when it comes to storytelling – that none of us could’ve ever seen coming what we now have to go into season five knowing (and grieving with, in my case). This is one of of those shows that stands tall from start to finish, and continues to inspire the way character and perspective is conveyed, as well as how we process it ourselves as an audience. I’ve always been fascinated by the same story being told through different goggles – kind of like in The Rules of Attraction, or Go. I can’t wait to see how this show wraps up, as I am pretty certain we move into the final act, which in itself is always a great quality for a series to know when to wrap it up.

4. HERE & NOW

Alan Ball, oh how I love thee. In the evidence of his brilliance, my affection toward Ball’s beautiful writing and ability to conduct such a beautiful cinematic symphony began with Six Feet Under, as it did most. If ever there were a perfect start to finish series… Rare is the artistic bird who can take such a celebrated drama and weave the social and political issues into a horror series – which is what he did with the addictive True Blood, a show that I would find myself equally hypnotized and aroused by. Ball’s latest gem is yet again a celebration of why we love HBO, his observant mind and heart, and ability to recognize genius when he sees it, in regard to casting. The always wonderful Holly Hunter and Tim Robbins headline a cast of brave, beautiful talents – including the tiny miracle that is the birth-child of Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon, Sosie, who is one of my favorite actors/characters in this captivating new drama that celebrates all the feels of our current reality. It’s a mixed blend of understanding the human condition and how people of all walks relate to one another while truggling with matters of the heart and psychological warfare.

3. RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE

For ten seasons now, Queen of Drag, RuPaul Charles has been taking her dynasty and giving it a royal upgrade every season with eye-popping elements that consistently allow this groundbreaking competition series to be one of queer and pop culture’s most celebrated. From the guest judges (Season X premiered with a Farrah Moan-esque Christina Aguilera dolled up for all the queens to gag over, which they did – myself included) to Michelle Visage’s dazzling eyewear collection to the costumes to the casting and the challenges – which get more and more innovative – Rupaul’s Drag Race has become a small empire that has the promise to spinning into so many different types of series and assure celebrity drag careers are a thing of the future, now more than ever. I loved the queens this season, especially my future husband Kameron Michaels (beautiful inside and out, boy or girl) and the well-deserved winner Aquaria. This was the second season in a row for me (I haven’t seen a lot of the previous seasons) where Ru got it absolutely perfect. I’m also a huge fan of Vice’s The Trixie and Katya Show which you should get into as well!

2. THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL

All of the hype surrounding the Golden Globe & Emmy winning Amazon Prime series starring the incomparable Rachel Brosnahan as Mrs. Maisel, is the type of perfection that isn’t all-talk. Everything you’ve heard about this hilarious gem of a binge-worthy comedy is true: the costumes, the production design, the brilliant performances, directing and top-notch writing is on trend with celebrating everything we love about women in the world right now, and the time capsule reminds us of how far everyone has come marching to the beat of optimism and fighting for equality. I’m so happy the great Alex Borstein has been honored and been receiving praise for her work, and rightfully so, as she steals scenes from the great Maisel herself in the latest season. It’s truly one of the best watches out there, so get into it!

1. SCHITT’S CREEK

What started out as a little Canadian sitcom from a then unknown Pop TV, has since become a pop culture phenomenon and one of the small screen’s most celebrated, quoted and adored comedies out there. In Season four, we continue to follow the Rose’s on their journey of personal growth, going from riches to rags in a small bumfuck town where they clearly stick out like a redneck tooth fairy for plenty of good reasons. We already knew Catherine O’Hara and Eugene Levy were totes brilliant, but every season I grow more and more enamored with how crazy talented Dan Levy & Annie Murphy are. Their nuances, the way the arcs of their characters have evolved… it’s like their learning from two comic legends and its working for them every step of the way. This is truly already an iconic, feel good show that is spreading such messages of love and beauty throughout society. Loves it!

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

Their Hero Academia: Chapter 13

Raw and unedited (especially until I get Chapters 14-16 written to upload along with it), but I finished the 1st draft tonight and I’m pretty happy with how it turned out. Especially with switching to some new protagonists. Chapters 0-12 can be found here:

Their Hero Academia – Chapter 13: Takuma Sero Makes a Show of It

If there was one thing Takuma Sero liked about living in the dorms, it was the sense of privacy. Sure, there were fifteen other people living in the dorms, three others on his floor, but compared to his home, that was nothing.  Between his parents, his three younger brothers, and baby sister, there was always somebody trying to butt into whatever he was doing.  At least on his floor, all he had was his best bro Kenta Sato. Daisuke Shoji simply kept his head down and Takiyo Aoyama had made it clear early on he had no interest in “whatever nonsense you two are getting up to.”

As if trying to become the next internet sensations was nonsense.

Which reminded him… he really ought to check their hit counter.  With Kirishima-Bakugo out of the cafeteria yesterday, he’d actually been free to host a new round of “Will Sato Eat It?” without fear of being exploded or having her tear his arms off.  He was actually pretty certain she wouldn’t do the last part.  Their parents had been friends for decades and he was on reasonably good terms with her most of the time.  But yesterday had been pretty impressive as far as the game went. Kenta had eaten a soup bowl, a baseball, a rock, and a tire that someone had somehow managed to get into the cafeteria.

Kenta’s dad had broken it up after that, with a threat to report their antics to Aizawa if they kept doing it.  And Kenta had gotten a talking to from his dad later on about irresponsible Quirk use and making a spectacle of himself.   At least the elder Sato had learned the futility of trying to rat them out to Takuma’s parents.  His mom was one of the most Instagram-famous Pro-Heroes in the business.  She actively encouraged his aspirations.  His dad was just vaguely puzzled by the whole thing and just let his mom take the lead.

Checking the video upload, he found that the hit counter was already in the thousands.  Wisely, he opted not to look at the comments.   It was like his mom always said, “Never read the comments.”   Sure, you got a validation high from some of it, but there were way too many trolls and mudslingers to make it worth it.

Takuma broke into a grin. “Yeah, we’re gonna be famous. Just you see.  Heroes and entertainment sensations.”

He checked the time and found he still had nearly an hour before class.  Plenty of time to finish getting ready.  There was also the matter of homework he hadn’t quite completed, but he could probably copy the answers from somebody, at least enough to squeak by. Math was going to be the death of him. He understood numbers well enough, but once you started getting letters involved with numbers, his brain just refused to track any of it.  It had nearly sunk his entrance exam score, but he’d managed to just barely pass that. A good practical exam score had done wonders for making up the difference.

Twenty minutes later, he was out of his room and ready to go.  He did not have the world’s most developed fashion sense (much to the regret of Kimiko Ojiro, his other best friend, who had declared him “the worst gay best friend ever”), but he had an entertainer’s sense for showmanship in his appearance.  He spotted Kenta coming out of his room and gave him a double finger guns.

“Sixty-five hundred hits in less than twenty-four hours, my man!”

“All right!” Kenta said, giving him a fist bump.  “That’s twice as many as the last video!”   He let out a burp and clutched his stomach.

“You okay, man?” Takuma asked.

Kenta shook his head and burped again.  “Heartburn and indigestion.  Dad says just because I can get anything doesn’t mean I should.”  He grinned, thick lips pulling back to reveal his perfectly white teeth.  “But I say it’s a small price to pay for being famous.”

“More famous in your case,” Takuma told him.  Kenta was already a good bit famous from all the times he appeared in pictures and his stories on his father’s “Food and Family” blog. According to his mom, it was crazy popular with single moms.

Kenta waved it off. “That’s really Dad’s thing.  This is ours!”

Takuma was about to begin discussions of the plans for their next video when he was distracted by the sight of Daisuke Shoji walking back to his rooms, clearly having come from the showers.  The six-armed boy was only wearing a towel wrapped around his waist, his silver hair still damp, and a small about of moisture still visible on the muscles of his arms and abs.  He nodded politely to Takuma and Kenta on his way back to his room.  Takuma kept watching until Shoji’s door closed.

His trace was broken by Kenta giving him a small shove.  “You okay there, bud?  Kind of went away for a little while?”

He sighed.  “Why are the hot ones always straight?”

Kenta gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder.  “Hey, there’s lots of other guys at U.A.  You’ll find somebody.  Or you could always try online dating?”

Takuma made a face. “I’m not that desperate.”

Anything further was interrupted by his and Kenta’s phones buzzing.  Both checked and he saw they had identical texts from the school’s emergency alert system.

Homeroom has been cancelled.  All first-year students should report to the Gran Torino Memorial Auditorium at 0800.

Kenta gave him a curious look.

“Don’t look at me, man,” he said quickly.  “I haven’t broken any rules that would cause a grade level assembly.”

“This school year,” Kenta said.  “I still can’t believe the time you…”

“Don’t remind me.  I’m still barely out of being grounded for that.”

“I think that was the first time I ever actually saw your parents punish you.”

“Oh, would you look at the time, we should really be getting to the Auditorium!”

***

“Any idea what this is about, Takuma?” Kimiko asked. He assumed she was looking at him, but honestly, even after having known her all his life, it was hard to tell.

He shook his head. “Beats the heck out of me.”

All around, the other seats in the Auditorium were filling up with the first year students.  There were the three Heroics classes, three General Ed classes, three Support classes, and three Business and Management classes.   Sixteen students each in the Heroics, twenty in each of the others, for one hundred eight students total left the auditorium about half full.  

Down on the stage, he could see the majority of the teaching staff.  There were the three Heroics Homeroom teachers, Aizawa, Super Ball, and Battle Fist.  There was Power Loader, the aging director of the Support courses.  Word around campus was that he was considering retirement after experiencing the Iida Twins.  And there was FireFox, their math teacher; Hawkeye, their English teacher; Figure Sk8, the dark-haired daughter of the Twins and Izumi’s uncle and aunt, who taught their Science classes; Palette, the paint-themed Art History teacher; and Hopper, Tokoyami’s uncle and their Literature teacher.  There Hound Dog, the school counselor, Vice-Principal Midnight, and even Kenta’s dad.   He also spotted Doctor Izumi sitting with her husband, Kota, the Rescue Hero and Rescue Instructor called Water Spout (or, at his mom embarrassingly always referred to him, “the first man to see me naked”) There was also All Might, and several teachers he didn’t know, who he presumed taught some of the classes taken by the other courses.  Whatever this was about, they were taking it very seriously.

And slowly approaching the podium, leaning heavily on his cane, was Principal Nezu.  Takuma wasn’t sure if he was a rat or a bear or possibly some kind of creature from Australia (or was it Austria?  Whichever one had the kangaroos.  Those were real, right?), but he understood that the old animal was crazy smart.  He’d guided U.A. through some of its roughest years and managed to still come out on top.

“I am sorry to interrupt your usual class schedule,” Nezu began.  “I know your studies are of great importance to you all.  But after the events of the last few days, both here at our school and elsewhere, we have been made aware of events which you all deserve to know.  The Center for Quirk Research is expected to make a statement later this morning, but we thought it might be best if comes from us.”

He took in a breath and continued.  “The CQR has discovered, working in conjunction with several Pro-Heroes, the existence of a virus which causes the victim to lose control of their Quirk.  It appears the Quirk is… man made.”

Any side conversations that had been going on were immediately silenced.

Nezu went on.  “After an as yet unknown incubation period, it causes a power-flare up during which time the user’s Quirk will activate out of their control.  This lack of control appears to last an indefinite amount of time, but appears to be a onetime flare up.  Unfortunately, even as the number of cases are growing, information is scarce.  There appear to be no obvious early symptoms and we are unsure how the virus is being transmitted. At this time, it appears that only Emitter and Transformation type Quirks are effected.”

A ripple went through the crowd as the full impact of the Principal’s statement took effect. Anything that could do that is dangerous indeed.  From the time they were young, they’d always been taught about the importance of controlling their Quirks.  And now something could just take that away…

“That’s…   that’s not good,” Takuma said.  Absently, he rubbed the patches on his right hand where his Acid Tape came from.  His Quirk was technically a Mutation type, since he had slightly different physical structures to allow for it.  But his mom was an Emitter type, so were many of his friends.  So were a lot of people out there in the world.  And there were lots of people out there with really powerful Quirks.   What if somebody like Ground Zero or Deku caught this thing?

“We’re… we’re okay,” he heard Kimiko say.  “Not… not like I can get more invisible.”

“Hey,” Kenta said, “it’s gonna be okay.  People’re smart.  They’ll get this figured out.”  Kenta’s dad was an Emitter type too, he recalled, even if Kenta’s own Quirk was a very minor Mutant type.

Nezu continued, “We are able to run tests for the virus and will be doing screening following this assembly.  However, as there are no tell-tale symptoms prior to manifestation, we urge you to talk to your teachers or Doctor Izumi should you have any concerns.  We will be doing everything we can to protect you, which includes providing you as with much of your usual structure as possible. Classes, including Heroics courses, will continue as normal.  Rest assured, everyone is doing everything they can to get to the bottom of this. But at this point, cases are isolated and sporadic.  We advise caution, but there is no need to panic.”

Takuma made it a point to never take life seriously.  But for once, that didn’t seem like such a good idea.

***

“You heard what the Principal said,” Aizawa said, after they had returned to the classroom.  “The moment you feel anything out of the ordinary or even suspect that something might be wrong, I expect you to tell me or another teacher.  Is that understood?”

“Yes, Mister Aizawa,” the class said, nearly as one.

“Good,” Aizawa said. “Now, we are going to proceed as normally as possible.  Which means we have a little bit of business to settle.  Choose a class representative.  I don’t care how.”   He zipped himself into his sleeping bag and disappeared behind his desk.

“Well,” Midoriya said, “I think we should probably vote on it?”

“I vote Toshi!” Shota Shinso cried out.

“Toshi,” Asuka Tokoyami agreed.

“I’ve got to go with Midoriya too,” Isamu Haimawari said.

“Toshi has my vote as well,” Izumi Todoroki added.

“Guys… Shouldn’t this be a secret ballot?” Midoriya asked quickly.

“Too late now,” Takuma said. “Besides, I think we all know you’re gonna win it.”

As much as he loved the spotlight, he loathed responsibility.  Better Midoriya than him any day.  Besides, it would take away from his own pursuits.  And Midoriya really was good at taking charge and helping people who needed it.  Guy wanted to help the whole world, even more than the average Hero-in-Training.

“Personally, I think moi would be best,” Takiyo Aoyama said.

“Oh, give it up, Frenchie,” Mika Mineta told him.  “Midoriya’s definitely the best shot at this.”

“I fear I must agree with the rest,” Akaya Koda told Aoyama.  She really seemed to be one of the few people who could stand the arrogant blond for more than a few minutes.  She must have had the patience of a saint.

“Going with Midoriya here too,” Kenta said.

“Yep, me too,” Chihiro Kaminari added.  “And Tokoyami for vice-rep while we’re at it.”

“I like those ideas!” Kimiko said.  “Both of them!”

“Makes sense to me,” Shoji said.

“This is highly against protocol,” Tensei Iida said.  “But I cannot argue with the consensus either.”

“My younger brother is correct,” Sora Iida said.  “I agree with the conclusions drawn.”

“You really must stop using that qualifier!  I am only younger by three minutes!”

“It is scientifically accurate!  Do you dispute this?”

“It is needlessly semantic, and yet I cannot argue with the precision!”

“If I agree, will it shut them up?” Katsumi Kirishima-Bakugo asked.

Motion was carried. Midoriya and Tokoyami were their class reps.

Takuma belatedly realized that probably gave them some kind of power of his and Kenta’s antics, but that was their problem, not his.  Besides, it was worth it to see Aoyama pout.

***

“Hua-whah!” Even though Takuma had practiced swinging from building to building by using his Acid Tape many times with his dad, doing it always made him feel like his stomach was going to flop out of his mouth.  It didn’t help that his Quirk was more complicated than his dad’s.   The elder Sero only had to think about shooting out his Tape until it hit something.  Takuma’s Acid Tape meant that he had to be continually concentrating both on dispensing more tape and on maintaining the properties.  Since he could make it anything from slick to sticky to acidic, that meant he had to do a lot more concentrating.  And doing that while ten stories up made it all the more problematic.

Even if it was supposed to be a simple Heroics exercise in cityscape navigation.  All they had to do was make it from one end of the faux-cityscape as quickly as they could.  For quite a few, like Kimiko, Kenta, or Koda, there wasn’t much more they could do than run as fast as they could.  Others were doing a much more impressive job.  Midoriya was bouncing with leaps that were easily carrying him, the Iida Twins were blasting through the air, and Haimawari was zipping through the streets. And somehow, Kirishima-Bakugo had gotten herself up on the rooftops and was parkouring herself through the course.

Takuma let himself go flying through the air for a moment, before shooting out another strand of Acid Tape.  It stuck to the fire escape and as he began to swing, he could feel something go wrong. With a sickening sound of tearing metal, the piece of the fire escape he had snagged with his tape snapped and broke, sending him falling!

He shot out another strand of Acid Tape, trying to save himself, but instead of snagging a lower portion of the fire escape, it melted right through it.  He’d made it too acidic!  He was gonna die!  He was never gonna reach a million followers!  Involuntarily, he felt his eyes close.

And just as suddenly, powerful arms caught him and he was rising.  So he was dead then, and the angels were carrying him away.  Good-bye world, he only regretted that he not let more of you gaze upon his awesomeness…

“Are you all right, Sero?” a voice asked.  “I was afraid I would not be able to match your falling speed without causing you injury, but I believe I was able to calculate something close enough…”

An angel who apparently sounded just like Tensei Iida.  He chanced opening his eyes and the first thing he saw was himself, reflected in the chest plate of Iida’s costume.  Looking up, he saw a silver helmet.  Definitely Iida.  Which meant he wasn’t dead?  He was alive! He could still get that million followers!

“Sero?” Iida repeated. “Are you all right?”  He slowly started reducing power in his jets, letting them drift downward.

Oh, right.  He needed to answer his rescuing angel’s questions. “Oh, ah, yeah, I’m fine,” he said, finding himself stumbling over his words.  “You really saved my ass, there, Iida.  Thanks.”

“Of course,” Iida said. “As your friend and classmate, not to mention as an aspiring Hero, it is my duty.”

“Well, right now, you’re my hero, Iida.”

Inwardly, he groaned. Was he really saying something that stupid?   Apparently, he was.  At least Kimiko and Kenta weren’t there to hear it.  They’d never let him hear the end of it.

***

The Iida Twins could be found in the Common Room, pouring over blueprints.  Usually, the Twins spent whatever free time they had in the Support Workshop, but according to Sora, Power Loader had kicked them out under out under threat of unspecified punishment, all because they had “accidentally used too much power and caused a few small explosions and fires.”  So the two had returned to the dorms instead to work on what they could.

Takuma, Kenta, and Kimiko peered from around the corner at them.

“This is a really dumb idea,” Takuma said.  “And I know all about dumb ideas.”

“If you were doing this for me,” Kenta said, “you’d be making your “good idea” face.  The one that always means it’s something that’s going to get us in trouble.”

“Besides,” Kimiko said, “this is for romance!  We’ve got to! You’re cute, he’s hot, you’re pink, he’s got pink hair, I’m gonna call you Pinky-Squared!”

“We don’t even know if he likes guys!  He could be into girls!  Or machines! I’m gonna make a fool of myself!”

Kimiko slapped him upside the head.  “That’s loser talk!”

“You want us to film it?” Kenta asked.  “You’re good in front of a camera.”

Takuma went a paler shade of pink.  “…No. Definitely not.  I do not need this preserved for posterity if it all goes south.”

“Look, this is the most romantic thing to happen since school started,” Kimiko told him.  “So you are not chickening out now!  Kenta and I are going to get Sora out of the room and you are going to ask Tensei out! Do you understand!?”

How someone whose face he couldn’t see could have such an intense glare, he didn’t know, but her tone suggested that there was no arguing with her.

“Yes,” he said. “Let’s do this!”

***

I can’t do this!

With Sora out of the room (he was so stressed he literally could not remember what excuse Kenta and Kimiko had used to get her out of there and he had seen it literally seconds ago), Takuma was free to make his move.  His smooth move.  His ever so smooth move.  He was the king of smooth.

He was not smooth.

As casually as he could, he approached the table where Tensei was still working.  “Oh, ah, hey, Iida,” he said.   “Ah, thanks again for saving me like that.  Pretty sure I was on my way to being a pile of pink goo.”

“The fall was not nearly enough to reduce you to goo,” Iida said, looking up from his blueprints.  “But it would have been very messy all the same. I am happy I was able to prevent that.”

He rubbed the back of his head.  “Yeah, well, either way, I appreciate it.”   He frowned, trying to think of how best to proceed.  “So, uh, what are you working on?”

A very crazed (and very attractive) grin spread its way across Tensei’s face.  “Modifications to Sora’s and my Hero costumes.  After training yesterday, we came up with several potential ideas to improve performance and work with our Quirks, such as a more adjustable wing system and potential storage for emergency supplies of apple and grape juice.”

“And that exploded?”

“Oh, no,” Iida said.  “That was the idea for a capture-weapon to add as an additional support item.  We may have made the propulsion element a little too strong.  Power Loader apparently believed that we would benefit from some time away.  But I do not see how we can improve our designs to their fullest without practical, hands on work.  And we cannot do that if we are banned from the workshop for a week.”

“That sucks, man,” Takuma agreed.  It’d be like someone telling him he couldn’t upload stuff to the ‘net.  A guy had to have a passion, after all.  “But, ah, I guess that means you’re gonna have some free time?”

Iida frowned.  “Unfortunately, yes.  There is only so much we can do without the space to put theory into practice.”

Okay, it was now or never.   He could be brave!  He had this!

…He didn’t have this!

He had this!

He didn’t have this!

He had this!

“So, um…,” he said, “if you’re gonna have the free time…  maybe you’dlikespendingsomeofitwithmesomewhere?”

Iida blinked.  “I… don’t think I caught that, Sero.”

He took a deep breath. “I was thinking, if you were gonna have free time anyway… maybe you’d want to spend some of it with me? Somewhere?  Like a date?”

Iida’s eyes widened in surprise and for once, it looked like he was at a loss for words.  “I… I would like that very much, Sero.”

He had this!

[shireness-says]

Nobody’s Business

Summary: Life's a dream, but when it's time for the Lost Girls to put out a new album, everyone's got an opinion. Try as she might to ignore the interference, some days, Emma just can't deal with it. Rated T. ~2.3K. Also on AO3.

A/N: I’m back, with another installment of Maybe I Won’t Die Alone! Previous installments can be found here, here, and here (in order), or on AO3, and I definitely recommend you read those first. 

This one is beta’d, for the first time in this series, so huge thanks to @snidgetsafan! Thanks, babe!

Rated T for just a bit of mild language.

Tagging @kmomof4 and @shady-swan-jones since i know they’re particular fans of this verse. If folks ever want to be tagged in my stuff, let me know!

Without further ado, enjoy!

Killian is in the living room, keeping an eye on Wiley and trying to keep up with the boy’s active imagination when he hears the side door slam closed. He assumes it’s Emma; she’s been gone all day, and though it’s a bit earlier than she had anticipated returning, Killian is confident only his wife would enter the house with such a trademark lack of subtlety. She’d been out for a magazine interview today; with the upcoming release of the Lost Girls’ latest album, publicity was slowly ramping up, resulting in more and more engagements of this sort. Emma has never been wild about the publicity aspect of her job, far too private to enjoy talking to strangers about things that are none of their business. She had been more hopeful about the prospects of this interview - surely a respected music industry magazine would stick to the relevant content - but if the force of that door-slam is anything to go by, things didn’t go nearly as well as they both hoped.

“In here, love!” he calls, before turning back to their suddenly-excited toddler, who’s anxiously watching the doorway. “That’s right, lad, Mama’s home,” he says, before whispering conspiratorially, “Why don’t you go make her something?”

The previous week, Killian had ducked into a thrift store with Wiley after seeing a box of records through the window, and the little boy had discovered a plastic kitchen set that he immediately fell in love with. Killian hadn’t ended up leaving with any records - the box had been full of mostly amateur worship songs - but the play kitchen had wound up being purchased and loaded into the back to the car, immediately followed by a stop at the nearest toy store to purchase more plastic foods. Wiley had been enthusiastically “feeding” everyone ever since. No one particularly cares; it’s adorable, and besides, Killian’s read about how good imaginative play is for young minds. Hopefully, if Emma’s in a foul mood, one of Wiley’s pretend concoctions will cheer her up.

The woman herself appears moments later, stockinged toes on display after already removing her boots and face still covered in the thick makeup needed for the dramatic interview photographs. She looks exhausted, with more than just that bone-deep fatigue associated with raising a toddler; there’s an emotional fatigue as well that wasn’t present when she left the house that morning.

“Mama!” Wiley excitedly chirps, rushing her legs and managing to bring a smile to Emma’s face.

“Hey, little man,” she murmurs, bending down to drop a kiss on his chestnut curls. “I missed you.”

Wiley holds on for a moment longer, letting his mother love on him, before breaking his grip to rush back to his play set. “I made you something!”

As their son plates his latest creation - what appears to be the mound of peas, a disproportionate banana, and an egg - Killian catches his wife’s eye. “How’d it go?” he asks, only to receive a shake of the head in response. She may not want to talk about it right now, but Emma ought to know after all this time that he’ll coax it out of her, one way or another. Before he can begin, however, Wiley’s back with the plate for his mother’s inspection and appreciation, effectively allowing her to avoid the conversation.

Emma makes all the prerequisite munching noises as she pretends to eat their son’s hellish plastic concoction, causing the little boy to beam. “Very tasty, kiddo, thank you so much,” she replies, handing all the remains back.

Killian intervenes before Emma can find any more excuses to avoid whatever’s bothering her. “Hey buddy, why don’t you make a feast for all of your stuffed animals? Mama and I will just be in the other room.” Wiley barely hears him, already invested in whatever his brain is dreaming up next, but nods in that absent-minded way Killian could swear he picked up from Emma.

Emma rolls her eyes, but doesn’t resist when he leads them to the adjoining office. Killian isn’t quite sure why they both insist on keeping an office; it’s never used, more of just a place to keep a desk with a printer and some files. Killian strongly suspects that they have an office just because it feels like the thing to do - the kind of thing every picture-perfect family has in their picket-fence house with 1.8 kids and a dog. Emma’s been known to occasionally camp out in there to write, but its main appeal right now is the draw of a private, child-free space and a comfy chair.

“What’s wrong, love?” he asks, again, settling into the armchair as Emma remains standing, pacing with leftover energy and irritation. When she doesn’t answer immediately, he resorts to jokes, attempting to cheer her up. “Are we getting divorced again?” he asks, mock-seriously.  Every so often, a tabloid tries to claim that their marriage is disintegrating - a claim which amuses Killian and irritates Emma to no end. Usually, when he makes jokes about the situation and how ridiculous the very idea is, it can draw a reluctant smile out of Emma, but she seems beyond that point today, his attempt at humor only deepening the furrows in her brow.

“Hey, hey, darling, it was a joke. An awful one at that,” he soothes. Her pacing is starting to make him a little dizzy, so he pats his lap in an invitation to come sit. “Tell me, what happened? I know something has, or you wouldn’t be this upset.”

Huffing a sigh, Emma collapses into the chair next to him, leaning into his side and shoulder with her legs thrown perpendicularly across his. “I just want to help, love,” he murmurs into her hair, pressing a kiss into the blonde curls, only slightly put off by the unnatural hairspray scent and dry, plastered texture.

“I know,” she admits. “It’s just…” Sitting up straighter to better look him in the eye, she circles her arms around his neck before continuing. “It was just a bad day. One of those interviews where all the questions are awful, and then Mary Margaret called right afterwards, which didn’t help. I know, I’m probably overreacting, but… it just gets to me.”

“I know, Swan,” he murmurs, rocking her gently in the same way he does with Wiley. “I’m not blaming you. If you want to vent, I’m a willing ear, you know that.”

There’s silence for a long moment, only broken by Wiley chattering away to himself in the next room, before his love finally breaks and opens up. “I was looking forward to this, you know? I thought I’d get some good questions about the songwriting process or how we’ve evolved as a group or things like that. It’s a music magazine, for God’s sake, not some gossip rag. You expect the questions to be a little more in-depth.”

“Makes sense to me.”

“Yeah, well, clearly, it didn’t make sense to her. It just devolved into this whole conversation about being a working mother. You know I’m happy to talk about our kid, but that was the entire conversation. How did I feel now about  having such a demanding career that would take me away from my son? She said it like that too, like she was trying to guilt me. Not to mention, does she understand what I do? Arguably, I’ve got more flexibility in my career than most women! I write from home, I can bring him to the recording studio if I want, everything’s based out of London now so I don’t have to travel halfway around the world just to create a new record… For God’s sake, I can bring him with me on tour!” she explodes, pitch progressively rising, tossing her hands in the air in outrage. “We’ve already planned on it, both you and Wiley coming with me! I don’t have to be separated from my kid any more than millions of other women across the world, and in fact, probably less! But because I’m a ‘public figure’ —” Emma mimes air quotes around the last words, a sure sign of her irritation — “we’ve got to make it a whole big thing. And from a woman, at that! She, of all people, ought to know that I didn’t stop being my own person when we had Wiley! But no, she’s some brash young thing who thinks she’s an Insightful Reporter, all while asking the most cliched and overdone questions she could. What, am I going to have to specifically ask to be interviewed by mothers from here on out in hopes that they’ll know I don’t want to talk about my kid 24/7? That it’s fine - heck, encouraged to ask me other questions? I probably should have expected this, going into major interviews and publicity for the first time since Wiley was born, but trust me, that does not make it any less frustrating,” she finishes, finger stabbing the air in emphasis.

“I know, love,” Killian attempts to soothe, rubbing a hand along her spine. It must work, because he feels her tension lessen, Emma once again slumping against his side with her arms around his neck instead of the wild gesticulating she’d been engaging in earlier.

“She did start asking about the writing eventually, but I think I was too pissed off to really be grateful for that. Not to mention, she was still asking questions that assumed being a mom would automatically change the meaning of all the songs I write going forward. Which sometimes it does, yeah, but… can’t I just write a song because it’s fun? Guys do, all the time. A lot of my stuff isn’t personal in the least. There doesn’t need to be some big ‘deeper meaning’.” The air quotes make a second appearance, but they’re less forceful than previously, which Killian takes as a good sign. Huffing a put-upon sigh, Emma continues. “And then, of course, Mary Margaret calls, and —” she stops abruptly. “You know I love them, right, her and David? And that I’m happy for them?”

“I do know that.” Even if he hadn’t Killian would have said it anyways, recognizing that they’ve entered the part of the conversation where he’s just expected to agree. Thankfully, it’s true - Killian knows very well how much she adores her brother and his wife.

“I love Mary Margaret so much, but she is driving me crazy with this baby talk! If it was just about her own upcoming kid, fine. She’s pregnant, she’s excited, it’s to be expected. But she keeps trying to convince me that we should have another! Even if she is my sister, how is that any of her business?” Emma pauses, looking at Killian expectantly, and he hurries to respond.

“It’s really not.”

“Exactly! It’s none of her business. I mean, Wiley isn’t even three - there’s still people out there who try to count his age in months!”

“People you rather hate,” Killian points out reasonably, only to receive an impatient look from his wife.

“I do, because it’s more of a pain to say 32 months than two and a half, and I shouldn’t have to do math, but that’s not the point. The point is - what’s the rush? Why is everyone pressuring us to have another? Why do they think they have the right to do that? Not to mention, I’m so happy we have Wiley, but honestly? Those last few months before he was born were kind of miserable. Mary Margaret’s still at the point where the bump is cute and everyone talks about how she glows and she doesn’t always need help getting out of chairs. Let her come pester me about having another when she feels like she’s the size of a house and her shoes don’t fit and people keep asking if she’s sure she isn’t having twins, because it’s a lot less fun then.”

Killian remembers that stage, remembers how grouchy Emma was, and he can’t blame her for her reluctance to be subjected to that discomfort again. Mostly, he just wants to tell his sister-in-law to mind her own damn business, but that would probably be frowned upon. Still, he hears Emma’s point loud and clear, and agrees wholeheartedly; they should be the only ones making decisions about their family.

Emma must take his silence as dissent or concern rather than an introspective moment, however, as she moves a hand to his face, gently rubbing his cheek with her thumb. “Hey, I’m not saying I never want another kid. I’m just saying —”

“— not now. I know, love, I agree. Let’s try and get out of the terrible twos before we even start contemplating adding to our little crew.”

Emma smiles softly, her thumb still stroking the apple of his cheek. “Thanks.” They spend a moment just staring into one another’s eyes - just as sappy as they ever were - before Emma leans up to press a gentle kiss on his lips. “I really do love you, Jones.”

“I love you too, Swan,” he replies just as gently, a small smile gracing his face.

After a another moment to themselves, Emma stands and stretches, groaning dramatically. “I suppose we should go make sure the kid we already have hasn’t torn the place apart.”

“If you insist,” he teases, accepting the hand she offers to help haul him up. Upon regaining his footing, Killian dramatically kisses Emma’s hand, resulting in a eye roll from the lady (but one he’s sure is disguising a smile). Before she reaches the door, he pulls her back for one last word, hands still entwined.

“I’m sorry you had such a rough day, love.”

Emma just shrugs in response. “Me too. I feel better after venting to you, though. And hey, we’ll deal with it together, right?”

“Of course, Swan.”

(They always do.)

[sambinnie]

How are you? I wish I had something more incisive to greet you with, but the speed with which everything occurs means it would be irrelevant, distasteful or a viral punchline a few hours later. 

I have been to the cinema for the first time in six months, and continued my regular habit exactly where I’d left it by attending a first-thing-in-the-morning screening of Tenet with only one other person in the cinema, sitting miles away and also on their own (the only way to watch a film, I say). Fucking Tenet, though. I mean, I have really missed going to the cinema, partly because I love films and partly because there’s such a small-scale decadence to occasionally going there solo at 10am on a Tuesday morning, and those tiny pleasures (which, of course, are currently no longer tiny) are just the things to keep me going.

But the film. Oh god, the film. I wish… I wish I could collate my thoughts into something which doesn’t just rapidly descend into a frustrated scream. I wish success didn’t mean people couldn’t say no to you. I wish I liked Nolan’s Batman films, for a start, since so many seem to get so much from them (see also: Breaking Bad, Killing Eve and Line of Duty), but I’ve always found them silly, really dumbly written, and badly made — I can’t hear much of the dialogue, and the action sequences are frequently shot with so many cuts and movement that’s it’s impossible to follow, something George Miller could teach him about so beautifully — and they’re so bloody solemn. Gotham is a grim place, but there’s a boring pomposity in fetishing that one-note grimness, and Nolan has it nailed. Having a character genuinely laugh at something doesn’t render your film light-weight; it creates contrast, and human engagement, something these serious (but sci-fi)/serious (but fantasy)/serious (but adult man dresses in a cape) films too often lack, as if a strained, one-note way of speaking will cancel out the frivolous, actually enjoyable genre aspect of the film. 

That lack of humanity is shared by Tenet. After a certain point, I simply don’t care. Is the nuke going to explode before Batman can something something something? *shrugs* Will the Tenet team manage to stop some sort of bad thing happening? Yes? No? Don’t mind, fine either way. Is Tenet nice to look at? Yes, but in a sort of “Christ, are we still holding up billionaire oligarch lifestyles as an aspirational thing at the moment?” very pre-2020 mood. Does it make sense? No, but that alone doesn’t mean it isn’t good — some great films, and some great Nolan films, take several goes to fully enjoy, and some are more enjoyable with every watch. Do I give a single fig about the outcome of the film or for any character after 20 minutes? Nope.

One major issue is that Nolan has made Inception, a masterpiece of film-making meta-commentary. How, once you’ve watched Cobb and Ariadne discuss the leaping-about way of conversations in films/dreams (stopping and starting in completely new locations) can you take the same thing seriously between Neil (Neil. Neil.) and The Protagonist? (I would like to see how many women read this screenplay along the way and just gave a small, inner sigh at the main character being named 'The Protagonist’.) As their boring expositional chats chop between pavement and public transport and plaza, one can’t help remembering how well Nolan previously pointed this out, yet has reverted to that self-conscious device to no benefit at all. It’s like he’s never seen his own films.

Similarly, the much-lauded aeroplane scene is completely without the necessary ingredient of tension because we’ve already been shown what happens, not just in other films but in this one, about fifteen minutes before. It’s like Bill & Ted promising they’d do whatever it was they needed right now, but in the future, and their momentary problem being solved by a loose sense of timey-wimey future self-ness. There’s nothing at stake at the airport, and between us being shown what happens and the scene beginning, nothing has happened for us to even hope the mission isn’t completed. It felt like the criminally underused Himesh Patel was in an instructional video for fuss-free plane-borrowing; compare it to the similar scene in Casino Royale (perhaps the only modern Bond film worth bothering with) and the flatness and mechanical nature of Tenet is all too apparent. The twists of the film, such as they are, are likewise foreseeable for even the least Pauline Kael among us. Who could it be under the mask? WHO COULD IT POSSIBLY BE? 

The Prestige, an earlier film of Nolan’s, is such a contrast to this that I’m stunned I didn’t watch it the moment I came home to clear my brain out. It’s smart, logical, moving, tense, engaging, and if there are plot holes (probably) I didn’t care because a) I really, really cared about what happened to each person, each of whom spoke and behaved like humans, not AI script-bots, and b) it gave this household a v useful shorthand nickname for anyone who wanted something one day but completely inexplicably changed their mind or denied it the next. I recommend it. I do not recommend Tenet. 

Of course, I feel guilty for caring so much about this, and writing about some fucking multi-squillion-dollar film with everything else happening. I am feeling extremely, crushingly ineffectual presently, and have completely come off all social media which from time to time would remind me of the efficacy of protest, of letter-writing and petition-signing and contacting one’s MP, so change feels hopeless and November’s blows seem inevitable. I am trying to knit my mind back together before then with small acts of body-work: cooking and running, drawing and swimming. I worry that I will drown in guilt and fear if I stop for a moment. It is pathetic, but I am still breathing, for now. 

My cynicism-filter is also at its finest mesh, because it cannot cope with the reality of our leaders and the UK’s political discourse: only small-fry stuff gets through, the Sali Hugheses and Jack Monroes, small-time fantasists who manipulate and virtue-signal to build lives of back-slapping consumerist celebration and Twitter Power Leader Boards. I’ve listened again to The Purity Spiral, and also to Desperately Seeking Sympathy, and wondered how many intelligent, kind-hearted people waste time supporting these innocent, victimised mini-Trumps just because they use the right buzzwords and also appear to hate the Tories. 

I wish I could give you some of the lights in my heart that keep me going — the occasional pure moon-eating delight of the people I live with — but here are more feasible treats instead.

Mike Birbiglia’s podcast Working It Out is a treasure, particularly the first episode with Ira Glass, which I think everyone who works in a creative field will listen to and wish they had an Ira Glass to critique their work. I like the idea of documenting works in progress, and not carrying any shame when things don’t work yet.

The Rose Matafeo episode of The Horne Section podcast, because I love her and I love stupid and brilliant songs. Several housemates have discovered Taskmaster too, which makes this a nice bridge.

Sarah & Duck, the BBC programme for tiny children. We never really used kids’ TV when they were little, but this now functions as a salve for when we’ve watched something truly terrifying like Poirot or a Marvel film, and besides the fact that Duck is absolutely fucking hilarious, the animation is staggeringly beautiful. The Islamic geometric patterns of the garden hedge; the soft blue-green hum of the “glow” section of the library, filled with lamps and luminescent books; the motes of dust caught in the sun-rays of Scarf Lady’s window. It’s a balm. 

Thanks to two housemates becoming great cooks over lockdown, I’ve rediscovered lots of my cookbooks and found 2015’s Simply Nigella to be a real corker. The rice with sprouts, chilli and pineapple, the drunken noodles and the Thai noodles with cinnamon and prawn are worth the entry fee alone. It’s quite chicken- and pomegranate seed-heavy, but even if you don’t like those, it’s extremely nice to be eating something that isn’t on our usual five-meal rota (and is also extremely delicious).

I was solo for some of the summer, and managed to watch a few excellent films, including BlacKkKlansman, The Peanut Butter Falcon and Love & Friendship. Cannot recommend these highly enough (*whispers* particularly the latter because it’s as painfully sharp as Austen should be, and we’d made the mistake of watching Emma. and I’m still so cross I’m not sure I’m ready to discuss everything that was wrong with it publicly yet).

I read Esther Williams’ memoir, The Million Dollar Mermaid. Perfect for anyone who loves that period of Hollywood, and full of juicy (as well as some pretty traumatic) episodes from the swimmer and actress’s amazing life. To give you a sense of it, chapter one is called “Esther Williams, Cary Grant, and LSD”. Super good. 

I hope you all keep well, pals x

[road2nf]

Jensen McRae | The Road to Nerdfighteria

DFTBA. If you are not subscribed to the vlogbrothers YouTube channel, and if you never have been, you might not know what that stands for. It’s an initialism (because acronyms are pronounceable, fact c/o of a vlogbrothers video) that stands for Don’t Forget To Be Awesome. It is the official (or perhaps unofficial) motto of the nerdfighter community. (Nerdfighters are people who are fans of vlogbrothers, the content creators therein, or the community therein. I think that’s enough definitions for now). When I was 14 years old, this book called The Fault in Our Stars came out. A good friend of mine was kind of obsessed with the author, this slightly sub-middle-aged white guy named John Green, and she insisted that I read both The Fault in Our Stars and Looking for Alaska, this John Green guy’s first book. I was a reader in childhood, having developed nearsightedness due to my predilection for reading in the dark after my bedtime by flashlight (at least that’s the explanation my mother gave me). However, recently I’d found myself frustrated by books. I would tear through middle-grade chick lit (that’s the best way I can describe these terribly formulaic books with dull characters and contrived plots that always involved two straight/white/able-bodied/middle-class best friends falling in love) when I found it, but other than that, I wasn’t reading as much as I used to. I can’t really remember what I did with my free time. I guess I was writing songs? I think I was mostly playing The Sims 3. I digress. In any case, I was in ninth grade and on the precipice of Maybe Being Cool, and this friend was one of the cooler girls in class, so I bought TFiOS (hip shorthand) about two months after its publication and read it over spring break in ninth grade. I read it in one three or four hour sitting, and I cried. Like a lot. It was the first time since early childhood that I could remember a book moving me in such a poignant way. I was attached to the characters, I was absorbed by the plot, and the language! The LANGUAGE in that story was so compelling. I was picking up on subtext and metaphors in a way that I’d only ever done when I was forced to in English class. The book had reinvigorated my love for words in stories that no other book could have. Then I took a brief reading hiatus. The second half of my ninth grade year was me continuing to ascend the social ladder, however slowly. I still joked that I was a dork, but the truth of the matter was, I had friends from every rung. I was sociable with tech geeks, theater nerds, football players, and cheerleaders alike. I felt like people had stopped looking through me like I was invisible. It was largely due to my presence on the school newspaper, which drew both the ambitious popular kids and the ambitious nerdy kids to its ranks. Also, I had a boyfriend. We never kissed or held hands or even went on dates, but we hung out every day at school and told people we were dating. This was enough to get me at least a bit of social buying power. (I promise this is all relevant to the story). Then, at the end of freshman year, I realized that I was sick of having a boyfriend who did not kiss me or hold my hand or go on dates with me, and also didn’t answer my texts or calls once school let out. So I called his house and dumped him over the phone. I spent the summer feeling sorry for myself, turning to the Internet and its thriving subculture of fame and infamy. Whenever I get heartbroken in real life, I fall deeply and inconsolably in love with fictional characters and/or celebrities who are too old for me. That summer, it was Jack and Finn Harries, Dan Howell, and any other British 20-year-old who made funny sketches and made me feel like I was loved, even though they were thousands of miles away, several years older, and had no idea who I was. It was during this summer that I discovered a channel featuring two much older men named Hank Green and John Green (yes relation, they’re brothers). Their videos were all at least somewhat informational, whether they be about politics, science, literature, or just about the personal lives of the men who made the videos. About five videos in, I realized that John Green of the vlogbrothers was John Green of TFiOS fame. I was elated! There were hundreds of videos on the channel going back to 2007. In between reading self-insert fanfic about the Harries twins, I would watch vlogbrothers videos, reminding myself to read John’s other books when I got the chance. When I returned to school, all the work that I’d done to become popular seemed to dissolve before my very eyes. Sophomore year was when we switched campuses, to the Upper School, and all the actual popular kids were going to parties with upperclassmen and trying alcohol and getting into real relationships. I was stuck in the past, pining over boys who only hung out with me so I would help them write their essays and obsessing over Tumblr and YouTube. I was also experiencing turbulence in my personal life unlike any I’d ever had before. It’s so clear to me now that I was afraid of the social rejection and emotional darkness in the real world, so I holed myself up online, laughing while handsome young Brits wore wigs on camera and rewatching John Green speed-talk his way through a fake television show he titled “Hitler and Sex.” In the midst of this Internet-ing, I read that other John Green book my old friend had mentioned, even though she’d already begun the slow and painful process of outgrowing me (the death knell of our friendship was when she told me about having sex with her boyfriend in her car and my response was some combination of a prudish, judgmental face and an exclamation of “Ew!”). Looking for Alaska leveled me just as profoundly as TFiOS had, and with no social life to worry about, I was hungry for more. I read the other books that John Green had talked about on his channel–Fahrenheit 451 and The Great Gatsby, plus other works that his recommendations had led me to, like Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, The Taming of the Shrew, and one of my all-time favorites to this day, Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut. I was reading a book almost every week, downloading them to my iPad and going back to my old habits, reading by dim light long after I should have already gone to sleep. My schoolwork wasn’t where it needed to be, but I was thriving. Awakened, even. Though my junior year marked another ascent into minor popularity, I crash-landed my senior year, coming off a painful rejection from a summer romance and a position in student government that should have won me acceptance but largely isolated me from everyone but my fellow council mates and steady friends. College applications were stressing me out, I felt alienated from even my immediate circle, and I was worried about my social future. Though I was accepted to the only two universities I applied to, I felt inert and emotionally itchy. I descended back into what I knew best: books. I read more Vonnegut, bizarre stories by delightful authors like Graeme Cameron and Douglas Coupland, and of course, my current #1 all-time, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Díaz. After my brain literally exploded from reading Oscar Wao in all its sprawling, multilingual, multigenerational, magical realistic/science fictional glory, I devoured Díaz’s two books of short stories, Drown and This Is How You Lose Her. I vividly remember those days in the spring of 2015, using my seemingly endless multitude of free periods to sit in the sweaty, iron-hot bleachers, nose burrowed in a book, ignoring the festivities of senior year around me. I was happier alone, laughing at Kurt’s crude drawings and Díaz’s matter-of-factness about love and sex, experiences I’d still yet to have at 17. I graduated, and I went to USC, where within a month of starting school I met Junot Díaz and got him to sign my copy of Oscar Wao. I dealt with the Usual College Stuff, like homesickness (from half an hour away…I’m weak) and social anxiety and academic adjustments and figuring out what the hell it actually means to major in popular music. I stopped judging people for drinking alcohol and having sex, I stopped being afraid of parties (though I’m still terrified of boys…and rightly so), I stopped being disappointed in my real life because it doesn’t follow a neat narrative (or at least I do it less now). However, I never stopped reading, and I never stopped watching vlogbrothers videos. I am a faithful nerdfighter, because that online community and John’s books have seen me through some dark times. Somewhere in the last five years, I read An Abundance of Katherines (not my favorite), Paper Towns (used to be my favorite but TFiOS ranks supreme at the moment), and Will Grayson Will Grayson (absolutely ACES but technically cowritten with David Levithan so to me it is in a separate category). I’ve watched thousands of videos from vlogbrothers and Crash Course. I went to Vidcon in 2014 and met John in person for about five seconds, handing him my business card and a #JustinCarrWantsWorldPeace luggage tag before he was escorted to his next event by security. My love of language has blossomed into three young adult manuscripts, two feature films, a handful of short films, and hundreds of poems, songs, and essays. Though my inner and outer lives have changed substantially since I first wept onto the pages of TFiOS, I’m still anxious, and often. I’m still terrified of romantic rejection and I still put myself out there frequently and embarrassingly. I’m still a bookworm and I’m still a writer and I’m still a nerdfighter. And I think I always will be. John Green and his books have a special place in my heart. So when he announced that his first new book in almost six years is coming out this fall, I was overcome with emotion. Turtles All The Way Down isn’t just a book. It’s a historical artifact from the future, a piece of my past hurtling towards me from the opposite direction. When I think of John Green’s work, I think of my cringey adolescence, my weirdly small glasses and then my weirdly big glasses, my difficulty with my weight and my stunted social development. I think of the hours I spent reblogging fan art and GIF sets of real people that I’d mythologized into characters by watching their YouTube videos for so long. I think of my transition from Cute Little Girl to Awkward Bookish Teen to Real Human Woman. I was 14 when I read my first John Green book. I will be 20 when I read Turtles All The Way Down. The chasm between who I was and who I will be then is huge. Un-crossable by anyone but me. Right now, we’re a little less than four months out from the release of Turtles All The Way Down. Not much is known about the book, and I’d like to keep it that way. I’m feeling those tingly “no spoilers!” feelings I felt when I was in high school and enamored with the purity of an untouched literary experience. But as much as this book’s impending release is inspiring a unique kind of nostalgia in me, it’s also reminding me that I cannot go back. I cannot return to the innocent girl of 14 I was when I first heard John Green’s name, and I can’t get back the years I spent/lost/lived in between then and now. I can only move forward. I can only grow up. This book, in all likelihood, will not live up to my expectations. It will not change my life. It can’t, because though it will be my first time reading this particular book, it won’t be my first time becoming infatuated with literature. I’ve done that already. I may love this book, but there is a difference between falling in love with someone new and falling in love for the very first time. Before I met books with sweaty palms, dress askew, tongue heavy in my mouth. So…come here often? Now, each story is met with a knowing smile, legs crossed at the ankles like they’re supposed to be, no lipstick on the wine glass. Your place or mine? Before this book comes out, and I form any opinions about the content or the style, I would like to extend a heartfelt thank you to John Green. If not for his careful handiwork, if not for the immense trust that he puts in his young readers, if not for his heart-wrenching stories, I might never have been drawn to great books the way I am now. Thank you for caring. Thank you for writing even when your illness handcuffed you, tried to make you stop. Thank you for making videos about hard topics and silly ones. I may grow up, but I will never outgrow you and your words, John. Keep publishing books, and I’ll keep reading them, no matter how old we both get.

via @withfeelingoncemore

[ciathyzareposts]

The Journeyman Project – Time Distortion

Written by Reiko

Agent 5 Journal #1: “Today was not a good day to oversleep. If I hadn’t made it to work when I did, we all would have been erased permanently. This is the most major time rip I’ve ever seen, and I’m the only one who was on duty and escaped being rewritten by the distortion wave. I have to fix history!”

When I start Journeyman Project from the menu with the New Game option, I first get a video with voiceover explaining the historical background of the scenario. I summarized this in the introduction. The important thing to remember is that we are at a critical point in history, so of course, when time travel is involved, something is bound to go wrong, and we have to travel through time to fix it. And of course, when there’s an elaborate procedure and complicated equipment to fix whatever’s gone wrong, then we’ll definitely have to use that procedure and that equipment.

After the background, there’s an intro video, which starts by zooming out from a floating city, which suddenly explodes. I’m guessing that’s a dream, since then we see an alarm clock going off, implying that Agent 5 has just woken up. As he reaches out and puts on his headset, the interface forms around the picture, and a side screen runs through diagnostics as what sounds like a radio program greets its listeners.

Home sweet home

When we have control, we can move around the bedroom. An alert appears on the left: “Agent 5: Report to the Temporal Security Annex.” Time to get up and go to work.

BioChip – Interface item

To start with, the only item in inventory is the “BioChip – Interface” item, which allows saving, loading, and checking score. Of course, score is 0 to start. In addition to the inventory list, the chips can be accessed directly from a pull-out tab at the bottom that shows them just as icons with distinguishing letters. Based on the size of the tab, we have space for at least eight chips, which I’m sure we’ll collect eventually.

I’m probably going to complain about this again, but some of these biochip actions could have been a lot more convenient as a permanent button somewhere in the interface rather than a selectable inventory item. Once I get more than a few items, it’s going to be annoying to scroll through the inventory to find the right item and select it before I can use its functions. There’s enough space on the screen that there easily could have been a permanent button/menu for meta functions like saving and loading.

Transport Card item

I poke around the room a little and find the Transport Card item on the desk (which also has a lamp that can be toggled on or off). Now I can take public transport to get where I’m going. The transport card goes in the same inventory item list as the biochip. So what I don’t get is why those two things are in the same list, when they aren’t the same kind of thing. The biochip goes into the interface and can be accessed from the biochip tab anyway, so why not just make the biochip tab always visible and keep the inventory list for items that have to be dragged around to use them? Given time limits, I just know I’m going to be frantically scrolling through the inventory looking for the right item at some point…

The side screen alerts me that I have ten minutes to get to the TSA, or I’ll be late. I start looking around a little more quickly. The apartment has two doors leading out of it. I try one and discover a bathroom. Well, that’s important, but not what I was after right now. I try the other and make it out into the main corridor of the apartment building. I wander around some more and eventually find an elevator. When I summon it, a voice announces what floor it’s on as it moves. For some reason, it goes all the way up to the rooftop level before descending back to floor 4, where I am. (Maybe that’s commentary on how elevators rarely seem to come directly to you when you’re in a hurry?)

This is all that was rendered of the rooftop level…

In the elevator, I have the choice to go to any of the four levels plus the rooftop level. I suspect there’s nothing interesting on the intermediate levels, and I’m right. Amusingly enough, if I try to access level 2 or 3, a pleasant voice just informs me that “this floor was never modelled or rendered.” It is possible to go to the rooftop level, but all I get is another short featureless corridor with a door at the end that won’t open. A voice there says that the rooftop level is not accessible during the alien procession. (I’m guessing the developers didn’t model that area either.)

So down I go to the first floor, where I find the transport system, a direct matter transporter. Across from the transporter, there’s also a kiosk with a video advertisement about the apartment complex, Caldoria Heights. This is just a little something extra to make the location a little more interesting, but it’s also counter-productive when you’re in a hurry.

The controls here are a little fiddly. I have to first click on the transporter to get it to open up, which takes several seconds. Then, after I move toward it, the interface automatically spins around as I sit down in the transporter seat, which takes another couple of seconds. Then a bug flies into view and has to be zapped by the system, which takes another chunk of time. To add a further agonizing delay, one time I tried it, the interface decided to inform me at that point that I was now late, which sent me back to standing in front of the transporter. So then I had to open it up, sit down, and watch another bug get zapped before I could actually use it.

I’ll be there in five minutes through the magic of the transporter system.

Well, no need to rush if I’m already late, I guess. I don’t know if it’s even possible to get to the TSA quickly enough to not be considered late, but with the forced delays of the elevator and the transporter, I’m inclined to think not. I even tried again later, but no matter how quickly or directly I went to the transporter, it always told me I was late when I got into it (although it didn’t always send me out of it again at least).

So I put my transport card into the slot (I have to first click on the item in the inventory list and then drag the icon from the window over to the slot) to get the available choices for transport, which are: * Hard Rock, Tokyo * Flagstaf [sic] Beach, AZ * Temporal Security Annex * Other

Obviously the right choice is the TSA, but for fun I try all the choices. “Other” just results in an error message from the transporter saying I don’t have any other choices. The other two result in a game over. I’ll describe this in more detail at the end of the post. So there’s definitely something wrong that’s about to happen, and if I don’t go to the TSA, I won’t be in the right place at the right time to fix it.

On to the TSA then! After transport, the transporter opens onto a different corridor, the end of which has a door which first asks for a code. This is copy protection, but it’s easy enough to find the code in the manual. There’s no input interface; I just have to type the number.

Maybe my tardiness will be forgiven if I save the timeline?

When I’ve done that correctly, the door proceeds to run three detailed scans: a cranial contour check, a central cortex check, and a biotech implant check. (I don’t even know how a brain scan for identification would really work: aren’t our brains changing all the time as we gain new memories and think different thoughts and learn things?) When those succeed, I get “ID Scan: Confirmed. Welcome Agent 05.” But also: “Your 4th late arrival has been verified and logged.” Oops?

I am directed to the Control Center to proceed with my work, presumably to monitor the timestream. The computer helpfully reminds me that I have to do a mandatory review first (obviously for the benefit of the player who needs to understand how time travel in this story works and what will need to happen). I can sit around at this point and nothing will happen, which is kind of amusing. But we can’t get to anything interesting if we don’t follow instructions.

The Control Center contains a large console with a seat in front of three widescreen monitors, much like fancy programming desks sometimes have these days (but in the early ’90s when this was designed, that would have been quite a futuristic setup indeed.) I click on the left-hand monitor to bring it down into focus, and it asks me for a second copy protection code. After I enter this, it gives me a selection of three videos: Background, Theory, and Procedure.

The left-hand screen is optimized for displaying videos, apparently.

The Background video gives some history about the Pegasus device developed by Elliot Sinclair and the establishment of the Temporal Security Agency. The Theory video describes time travel as a tunnel connecting two points in time. A significant change in the past will create a rip in time that generates a reality distortion wave, which can only be avoided by traveling back in time beyond the distortion point of origin.

The Procedure video describes what to do in the event of a distortion wave: go to the Ready Room, get a Pegasus biochip and the Journeyman key, use the biosuit generation system, then go to the Pegasus device and jump 200 million years into the past. This will bypass the distortion wave and also allow me to retrieve a backup of historical data stashed there for safekeeping, which can then be compared with the data altered by the distortion wave to figure out what’s been changed.

The distortion wave is making its way toward the present, splitting as more distortions occur.

As soon as I return from watching all three videos (in fact, literally the moment after), an alarm sounds, and immediately the computer identifies a temporal distortion wave. Okay, time to use the procedure I just reviewed! Just another day on the job, right?

Journeyman Key item

Suiting up for time travel.

I make my way out of the Control Center and down the hall to the Ready Room. An enclosure on the far wall contains the Journeyman key, and a smaller enclosure below it holds two biochips: the Mapping one and the Pegasus one, all of which I collect. I also step over to the biosuit generator and trigger it to get a biosuit. Now I’m ready to travel through time!

Biochip – Mapping item

Biochip – Pegasus item

The first time I went through this sequence, I had an awful time actually getting the Pegasus chip into my inventory. The second time, when I started over in order to try some additional things, I had the same trouble with the transport card at the beginning. I finally figured out that I have to drag and drop the item directly into the image area of the inventory. If I drop it anywhere else, I don’t end up taking it.

Another interesting note is that it seems that once I’m out of the control center and not watching the distortion wave, it doesn’t really progress. I fiddled with the biochips for more than a couple minutes, and nothing happened. It’s an interesting example of limited urgency. I don’t even hear the alarm in the corridor, only inside the Ready Room or the Control Center.

The inside of the time machine, showing the jump options and the timeline.

I travel down the corridor opposite the Ready Room to get to the Pegasus device itself. It’s locked behind a door that won’t open if I don’t have the Pegasus chip. Inside, the device only gives me one option, to jump back to 199K BC. Oddly enough, when I click on it, there’s a timeline that appears at the top that shows me three temporal rip locations: one in 2112, one in 2185, and one in 2310 (and 2318 is the present year). We’ll surely have to go to those times later, but first we have to get the historical data so we have some idea what’s been changed. I guess the timeline sensors can tell when the discrepancies occurred but not what happened.

A volcano in the distance, and a sheer cliff at my feet.

Activating the jump triggers a trippy video sequence of traveling among various loops and whorls that apparently represent time. When the scene resolves again, we’re far in the past, facing what looks like an active volcano in the distance. I take one step forward…and am warned that I’m standing on the edge of a cliff. Time travel is potentially very dangerous! Falling off the cliff would be no good, so I turn around and start following the path into the rocky area behind where I started.

The interface warns me that large carnivorous creatures have been detected, but nothing really comes of it. I see a shadow of a pteradactyl fly overhead, and the shadow of something that looks like a Tyrannosaurus rex roars when I go around another corner, but nothing else happens.

The hidden alcove with the historical log disk.

When I reach the end of the path, I find a TSA logo embedded in a rock. I press it to open up an alcove with a set of three holes. Then I can use the Journeyman Key to turn the holes and unlock the archive. I take the historical log and now I can jump back to the present.

Historical Log item

This is probably a good time to note that the energy value in the top left corner of the interface starts at 100,000 (one hundred thousand), but this starts dropping steadily once you’ve jumped somewhere into the past. All I did was walk forward one step to find the cliff, then turn around and walk maybe ten steps along the rocky path to find the place where the log was hidden. I had some trouble with clicking too fast and the rock would close again, forcing me to re-open it. Even so, this was a very short jaunt into history, but by the time I jumped out, my energy was about 10% depleted already.

So I’m definitely going to have to replay sections to optimize my time if I want to get a good score. Every time the suit returns to the present, the energy level returns to maximum, but the score at the end will be higher the fewer trips taken and the less energy used. There’s also the goal of solving puzzles peacefully and without changing anything beyond what’s necessary to fix the problem, so that might be tricky too. I might replay sections just to see what happens if I go out of my way to change more things.

When I return to the present, I retrace my steps back to the Control Center with the historical log, where I am prompted to insert it so that the data can be compared. It took me an embarrassingly long time to figure out that I needed to click on the console to open the drive first before I could put the log disk in. I was trying to drop the disk all over the console with no success. The drive area didn’t really look like something that was openable, I guess, and there was no response when I dropped the log anywhere.

Four discrepancies for three temporal rips

Anyway, after I get the log in, I have to enter the third copy protection code from the manual, and then the right-hand monitor moves forward into focus to display its analysis of the historical data. There’s an animated sequence that says, “Correlating rip dates to historical differences…” and so forth. As I thought, there are discrepancies in 2112, 2185, and 2310, but also in 2308.

The one in 2308 is interesting because it concerns the first contact from the Cyrollans. In the original news clip, we hear a summary of the event and then an audio recording of the actual Cyrollan transmission stating the Symbiotry invitation and 10-year terms. In the changed news clip, the reporter looks different, and this time the Cyrollans only say, “We will return when you are ready” instead of offering Symbiotry membership. Okay, something’s definitely gone wrong. I’d better examine the records relating to the actual changed events.

In 2112, a small country called Gorbastan is the last to consider signing the Worldwide Unification treaty. There’s a terrorist faction who disagrees with the treaty and takes hostages, some American, but despite that, the country is ready to sign the treaty. After the change that caused the time rip, a nuclear missile was launched somehow toward Gorbastan, jeopardizing the peace talks and dooming the Worldwide Unification Treaty to failure. My goal will have to be to prevent that missile from being launched.

In 2185, a cargo pilot approaching the Morimoto colony on Mars detected an alien spacecraft, which did nothing except hover for a time and then travel outward toward the edge of the solar system. However, after the time rip, somehow the entire Mars colony was destroyed, killing the 30-person crew and making people think that hostile aliens were the cause. I’ll have to prevent the destruction of the colony.

In 2310, a rally was held to discuss whether humanity was ready for contact with aliens. This is two years after the original contact with the Cyrollans, which seems kind of out of sequence, actually. One particular activist, Enrique Castillo, gave a particularly persuasive speech in favor of dealing with aliens. The result was that most of the crowd was also in favor. After the time rip, somehow Castillo was killed instead, and the crowd was decidedly anti-alien. How this could affect the original contact in 2308 I don’t know, but clearly I need to prevent Castillo from being killed.

Each scenario is also given a “chance of success based on historical relevance”. For 2112, it’s 23%; for 2185, it’s 57%; for 2310, it’s 48%. I’m not quite sure what this means, but perhaps it means the chance of resolving the entire time rip by resolving the issue in that time. I would think I’d need to solve all three, though.

Well, I’ve certainly got my work cut out for me. Next time I’ll poke my head into each time and decide which one to focus on first.

BioChips: Interface, Mapping, Pegasus Other inventory: Transport Card, Journeyman Key (also found the Historical Log) Time travel trips: 1 Score: 26452 Deaths: 3

I have ceased to exist��

#1: The first two choices in the transporter, Tokyo and Arizona, give me the same result: I get a small glimpse of an alternate location around the transporter edges, and then I get a game over screen that gives a score breakdown and offers options to restore, start a new game, or go back to the main menu. At that point I’d gained 500 points just for picking up the transport card. The ending is labeled “Uncreated”: “A disruption in the space/time continuum has caused a cataclysmic reality distortion wave. You have been uncreated in its wake.”

#2: When the distortion wave is identified, I can just stay and watch the computer display the progress of the wave through time. It takes 2-3 minutes, but the wave eventually travels up to the present year, which again causes an “Uncreated” game over. (This time I have 2000 points, though.)

I can’t…hold…on…

#3: Moving forward off the cliff in the past causes me to fall to my death, with a “Fall from Cliff” ending: “One small step for man, one giant leap for … well, you get the picture.” I had 5000 points for exploration, 5000 points for recovered biochips, 15000 points for visiting the Prehistoric era, for a total of 25000. Boy, I started racking up the points quickly. We haven’t even gotten to any of the main missions yet. I guess this means I’ll have to be careful where I step!

Session Time: 1 hour 30 minutes Total Time: 1 hour 30 minutes

Note Regarding Spoilers and Companion Assist Points: There’s a set of rules regarding spoilers and companion assist points. Please read it here before making any comments that could be considered a spoiler in any way. The short of it is that no points will be given for hints or spoilers given in advance of me requiring one. Please…try not to spoil any part of the game for me…unless I really obviously need the help…or I specifically request assistance. In this instance, I’ve not made any requests for assistance. Thanks!

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/the-journeyman-project-time-distortion/

[underabr0kensky]

65 Questions You Aren't Used To

Because I’m bored and tired and the Slayer show was fucking awesome.

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? Nah. I mean I’ve thought about that, it’s a fun concept, but I don’t think I’m in a coma and just making up my life or whatever.

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? Not. I love the dark. It’s comfy.

3. The person you would never want to meet? That piece of shit that abused my friend because I’d beat him to death more than likely.

4. What is your favorite word? Fuck, I suppose. I say it more than anything else I think lol.

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? A weeping willow. Because they weep. Like my soul.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? I don’t even know if I looked in the mirror at all today, at least not to see myself.

7. What shirt are you wearing? The Slayer shirt I just spent way too much fucking money on. Worth it though.

8. What do you label yourself as? I don’t. I’m just me. A metalhead, I guess.

9. Bright room or dark room? Dark. Brightness is a curse.

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? Uhh. I think I was drinking and watching Firefly.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? I guess 21? Or maybe 23, but that’s only because of what happened around that time.

12. Who told you they loved you last? I’m not sure. Megan, maybe?

13. Your worst enemy? My own depressed-ass brain tbh.

14. What is your current desktop picture? It’s a slideshow of a bunch of anime girls. Judge me.

15. Do you like someone? I love her, yes.

16. The last song you listened to? “Lean On” by Major Lazer.

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? Shit, I’m too tired to be that pissed at anyone. I guess, again, the abusive piece of shit.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? The abusive piece of shit. Also myself a lot of the time.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? Emma Watson, but I wouldn’t really make her do anything. Just kinda be like “Hey it would be cool if you were my girlfriend for a day”.

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) My hair and my eyes, it’s a toss-up. I’d say my hair though.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? I have no fucking clue, probably dead sexy like I am now lmao. First thing I’d do is masturbate because I’m pretty sure that’s what everyone would do. Everybody’s curious. After that I’d, I dunno, go hit on people I guess?

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? Nah, my few talents are not secret.

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? Nothing really, all my fears are normal.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. Fuck it I’d probably go with PB+J.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? Right at the moment I’d save it for Metallica tickets.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? Probably South Dakota, honestly. I want to hang out with Jess again if she’d be up for it.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? Jim Beam Distiller’s Cut. Gimme that discontinued shit.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Mountain Dew is a fundamental human right.

29. What is your favorite expletive? FUCK.

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? The box on my dresser. It’s got all the stuff Jess gave me in it. Cards, drawings, etc. It’s the most important thing I have.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Probably my mom almost dying back in 2010.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Ima go to Switzerland then, fuck yeah.

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? Jeff Hanneman. Slayer reunion motherfuckers.

34. What was your last dream about? I have no idea. Probably about work -_-

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? I am an excellent kisser, yes.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? Yup. Once for a wreck and once for attempted suicide.

37. Have you ever built a snowman? Yeah, whenever we’d actually get snow here, which is fucking never.

38. What is the color of your socks? I’m not wearing any.

39. What type of music do you like? Everything, but I’m a metalhead.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Sunsets. It means night is coming.

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Hmm. Heath bar I suppose. Banana is fucking great too.

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) Titans and Patriots. I don’t give a lonely mountain-dwelling fuck about soccer.

43. Do you have any scars? Several. One on my right shin where a fucking fax machine fell on me. One between my right thumb and index finger where I caught the blade of a dagger, long and retarded story. And another really close to that one where I jumped down off my bed and accidentally fucking stabbed my hand with my guitar’s headstock. That one still hurts sometimes.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? When I graduate what? This shitty existence? lol. I wanna be a rockstar dad.

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? My fucking mental issues would go away.

46. Are you reliable? Yeah, very.

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? “Did you get to try again with her?”

48. Do you hold grudges? Yeah. Only if it’s someone I don’t really like though. I can’t get mad at people I like.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? A cat-bird hybrid. It would try to hunt itself.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? I have plenty of weird-as-shit conversations with one of the guys at work because he’s just fucking weird. It’s usually about anime-related shit.

51. Are you a good liar? Yes. Had to be growing up with a dad that’s like a living bullshit-detector.

52. How long could you go without talking? A good while. Sometimes on weekends I don’t really say shit.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? When I had short hair. Ugh I look awful with short hair.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? Nope.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? I can kinda sorta do a British and Australian accent.

56. What do you like on your toast? Butter or jelly.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? I have no fucking idea, I suck at drawing. I think the last time I actually attempted to draw was when Jess and I did the Drawlloween Challenge back in 2015.

58. What would be you dream car? Lamborghini Diablo SE-30.

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. Nope, I’m usually in a hurry so I just shower fast as shit.

60. Do you believe in aliens? I think it’s definitely possible but I don’t think they float around abducting people.

61. Do you often read your horoscope? Nah, I have friends who do it for me lol.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? Uhh. Q I guess? Because it’s barely ever used lol.

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? Dragons, fuck kind of question is that? Dinosaurs are little bitch ass pussies compared to dragons.

64. What do you think about babies? Nope. Nope. Never. Nope.

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. I can roll my tongue into a tube. It helps with playing harmonica.