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txt-trash · 2 years ago

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bad impression | choi yeonjun

summary: choi yeonjun knows he’s a heart throb, it’s not hard for him to get someone he wants once he sets his mind to it—except you won’t even give him the time of day. he should just move on to the next, right? well he can’t, because he’s determined to prove your bad impression of him wrong.

➣ college au, smüt, fluff

➣ fuckboy!yeonjun x f!reader [she/her]

➣ 9.4k words

warnings: college, minors dni, fluff, smüt [oral {both recieving}. foreplay. breästplay. use of protection. riding. makeout. missionäry. honestly fluff at the end. yeonjun is whipped and he doesn’t know how to deal with it. y/n is very cold toward him in the beginning.] jealous Yeonjun.

song inspo: obsessed — mariah carey [finally found a girl that you couldn’t impress]

He looked dumbstruck. His lips were parted just slightly as he stared down at you in what looked like shock. A small laugh caught in his throat as he brushed his hair out of his face, licking his dry lips trying to figure out what you just told him.

“Are you um… you know, are you busy? Is that why?” Yeonjun asked you. He looked down both ends of the aisle just to make sure nobody was around to hear him being rejected. It would ruin his street cred. Maybe he just caught you at a bad time, you were in the library after all and maybe he interrupted your work. Yeah that’s probably it.

“I’m not busy,” you told him as you put a book back into its spot, pushing the cart of books down the aisle, “I just don’t want to.”

“Why? Wait, um, did I do something to you?” He asked, looking like you shot an arrow straight through his ego. You shook your head releasing a small laugh as you kept working while he followed you. His brows scrunched together in confusion as he moved a couple books so you could put another into the space.

“No Yeonjun, you didn’t, I’m just not interested,” you told him, finally looking at him. He looked visibly taken back by the last statement you made and he was at the point of desperation so he needed to stop. He gave you a mere nod as he began to step away. You gave him a charming smile as you went back to work.

“Alright, I get it,” Yeonjun said with a dramatic sigh, “I’ll stop annoying you.”

“Thank you.”

He still can’t believe it.

“Am I ugly?” Yeonjun asked his friends the next day during lunch. They looked at him with expressions that immediately made him regret asking but it was too late to take it back.

“Yeah,” Kai said right away while Soobin just checked him out as if really contemplating how to answer the question. After much debate Soobin said, “Not usually, why?”

“Because Y/n said no,” Yeonjun told them as he checked his appearance with his front camera making sure to fix his hair and everything. The other two looked at each other with confusion before Soobin was the one to ask, “No to what?”

“Going with me to the party tonight, remember I told you guys I was gonna ask her out?” Yeonjun reminded them and the two made a unanimous ‘ahh’ sound. There was a party tonight at a friend’s place but Yeonjun couldn’t even tell you all about it because you were very quick to reject him! And he means quick like flash lightning. He hadn’t even finished his speech before you told him no. Then when he tried going into more detail you just told him you weren’t interested. It had his mind whirring.

“I remember but who cares? You’ll probably find someone else tonight anyways,” Kai said with a shrug as he stuffed his face with whatever lunch he bought at the cafeteria today. Yeonjun was still distraught by your rejection yesterday that he’s not even hungry.

Maybe he’s just being dramatic but he’s never been rejected before, he doesn’t know how to take it. He’s still thinking about the way you just straight up told him you are not interested in him. And okay, to be fair he’s only really been into you for the last few days and he was really seeing another girl just a couple weeks ago but that’s the past. You’re the one he wants right now and yet you rejected him. Him?!?

“But I want Y/n,” he released a loud whine that had him stomping his feet under the table in a mini tantrum. Why did you reject him? He doesn’t get it. He’s a total catch, ask anyone—literally.

He kept thinking about this all day and when he got to the party he was still sulking. Girls were talking to him about anything and everything yet his mind was stuck on you. He’ll admit his feelings aren’t deep for you but you’ve just really hurt his ego and he doesn’t get why. Do you have a partner? Are they even your type? Is he even your type? Do you not have time because of school or work? Are you just not feeling well? Why wouldn’t you want to come out with him tonight? He knows you said you’re not interested but how? He’s a catch. He needs you to know he’s a catch!!

“Guess who’s here,” Kai told Yeonjun practically running into him as the older tried to distract his broken heart with a game of Beer Pong with some girl he didn’t know. Yeonjun couldn’t even bring himself to be excited at what sounded like potential tea being spilled and ignored his friend instead choosing to shoot a ping pong ball straight into a red cup, immediately being cheered on.

Kai had to hit Yeonjun’s arm repeatedly to get the guy to react until finally he snapped and turned to the younger, “Hit me one more time I dar—“

Kai slapped him on the cheek lightly but enough to make Yeonjun’s head turn to the side and that’s where he saw it. Lo and behold, none other than L/n Y/n stood there chatting it up with some friends wearing his favorite colors. How could you do that to him? How could you stand there wearing lavender and powder blue while having drinks with someone else?

“I’ve gotta go pee,” Yeonjun lied as he left them all at the Beer Pong table ignoring their boo’s in order to go find you. He chugged back the rest of his drink giving quick waves to whoever said hi to him.

You were just minding your business trying to have at least one drink before you dipped out on the party and went home but apparently you couldn’t even do that. The universe wanted you to have to suffer and that’s why Yeonjun magically made his way to you and tapped your shoulder like some old lady asking if she could cut in line.

“Funny seeing you here,” Yeonjun said with his usual arrogant yet pretty smile, “I thought you were busy tonight.”

“Um,” your brows furrowed as you turned to look at him, “I'm pretty sure I said I wasn’t busy, I just wasn’t interested.”

Yeonjun’s eyes narrowed in thought ignoring the way your friends Taehyun and Beomgyu made ooo sounds like you gave him a good burn. He shook his head, “No I’m pretty sure I heard you say you’re busy and totally interested in me.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure you have hearing problems then because I never said that,” you responded looking a little annoyed now.

“I do have hearing problems,” Yeonjun said, never once backing down or stuttering over his words, “It’s called Selective Hearing, look it up.”

“I know what Selective Hearing is,” you told him, trying very hard not to smile because he was being so damn ridiculous right now.

“I’m just making sure,” he, on the other hand, had a shit-eating grin knowing that he’s getting to you, “So why don’t you tell me what you’re drinking so I could go get us more.”

“I have a full cup,” you said, “Besides I’m here with some friends.”

“What friends?” Yeonjun asked dramatically, looking around you. You rolled your eyes at his joke and turned to where Beomgyu and Taehyun should be. Keyword: should. They’re gone and when you looked around for them you found them playing Beer Pong pointing at you mockingly as they laughed. They knew how much Yeonjun grinds your gears and they left you here with them.

“Looks like you’re stuck with me,” he said with a smirk that you just wanted to wipe off. You shook your head, “Looks like I’m going home actu—“

“Y/n!” He called out to you as you made your way to the door but before you could get to it he cut through the crowd of party goers like a man on a mission and placed a large hand flat against the door, “Why do you hate me?”

Your brows furrowed, “First of all I don’t hate you.”

“Then why won’t you say yes to one date? Hell you won’t even say yes to one drink with me! If that doesn’t seem like hate I don’t know what does,” Yeonjun said honestly. Why do you keep rejecting every single one of his efforts?

“I’m just not interested, Yeonjun, I don’t like wasting my time,” you told him honestly, “And you’re the type of guy to lead someone on, waste their time, and never speak to them again.”

He was so visibly taken back by what you said that he couldn’t even react in time to you moving him back so you could open the door and leave the party.

Listen, you weren’t president of the Choi Yeonjun Hate Club by any means, seriously. It’s just hard to take the guy seriously when all you hear on campus is how much of a player he was. You’ve had a couple classes with him the last two years and yeah you know him but not like you really know him. He’s never shown interest in you before so why is he doing it now? You have no clue.

Also, you’re pretty sure just two weeks ago he was on some girl’s Instagram story with hearts all around it. He’s so clearly a fuckboy and those just aren’t your type. Between school and work you don’t have time to waste on some guy who’ll probably ghost you after getting you in bed. It might sound harsh but it’s probably true. So, like you said, better to not waste your time on a guy like him.

“So what did the Campus Crush want last weekend?” Taehyun asked as he and Beomgyu played some game on the PC while you scrolled through your socials. You were currently all sitting in the library on some lounge chairs wasting time till your next lecture. You released a deep sigh, “He keeps crying about a date.”

“Ooh, does this mean you’re gonna get laid?” Taehyung asked and both you and Beomgyu glared at him. You rolled your eyes, “First of all I said no. Second, why are you talking about getting laid if you’re a virgin.”

“That’s what im sayin,” Beomgyu said, “Yeonjun’s a fuckboy and Taehyun’s virgin ass shouldn’t be telling you to go for it.”

“First of all I’m not a virgin, second, because Y/n’s been in a dry spell for weeks,” Taehyun said, “Sorry I’m the only one looking out for her sanity.”

“You saying you’re not a virgin is exactly what a virgin would s—“

“I’m not a virgin!” Taehyun said a little too loudly and all heads turned in your direction. He released a loud groan as his face began to redden, “Alright whatever, I hate you guys. I hope Y/n stays single until she’s 60 and all shriveled up.”

With that he left, leaving you and Beomgyu to laugh on your own. Beomgyu pointed down at Taehyun’s snack that was sitting on the table, already reaching out to take it only for Taehyun to come back and snatch it. He left the two of you alone and you kept scrolling while Beomgyu played a single’s match now.

Taehyun was a muttering mess as he stomped out of the library, going on and on about how his best friends suck and hate on him because he’s the youngest. The only reason why he put a pause on cursing you both to hell was the tall frame blocking the entrance to the library as they came in. He looked up, an evil smirk on his face, “Hyung.”

“Taehyun,” Yeonjun said, looking around him almost immediately to see if you were around. The younger got the best idea ever and as he left he said, “If you’re looking for Y/n, she’s in the resting area in the back.”

Yeonjun nodded, thanking the guy blissfully unaware that Taehyun will probably get murdered tonight for telling him that. He was actually in here to escape some girl he ghosted who was just outside and the only place he could go was the library. It seems like the universe was on his side though since now he knows you’re here too. He followed Taehyun’s directions and found you right where he said you would be. Your back was to him and Beomgyu saw him coming first and he could see the way the guy told you about his arrival yet you didn’t turn.

He took Taehyun’s old seat with a simple, “Hey.”

“Hey…” Beomgyu said awkwardly as he looked at you, who only glared at Yeonjun. “What are you doing here?”

“Taehyun told me you were back here so…” Yeonjun said making himself comfortable, choosing to ignore the way you cursed at Taehyun who was only here in spirit. Yeonjun looked at Beomgyu expectantly and the guy just sighed, seeming to understand what he wanted and began gathering his things. You released a deep sigh, “Yeonjun.”

“Yes, cutie?” Yeonjun said with a flirty smile that he knew would annoy you but he’s come to realize you’re cute when you’re annoyed with him. You rolled your eyes, “What are you doing?”

He looked down at himself, “Sitting?”

You huffed in annoyance as you sat up to gather your things and try to leave but a sudden hand over yours stopped you. He smiled, “Come on Y/n, just give me one chance.”

“Are you always this desperate?” You asked and although it should be taken as a jab to his character he saw it as an opportunity. “For you? Yea—Wait, wait wait!”

You were both standing now and Yeonjun was in front of you, “Look, I just want one date. If it’s terrible you don’t ever have to speak to me again. If it’s good… well… um… you know.”

“What? If it’s good I’m supposed to sleep with you? Fat chance Yeonjun, I’ve gotta go,” you told him, putting your backpack on and walking away but he was hot on your trail.

“I was gonna say if it’s good we’ll go on another, y’know, get to each other and shit,” Yeonjun said clearly new to this. He’s never had to beg someone to go out with him and please don’t ask why he’s so stuck on you. You sighed clearly wondering the same thing and finally turned to him making him stop abruptly before you bumped into each other.

“I’ll tell you what, give me a month to decide and if you’re still interested by then, then I’ll say yes” you said and it took everything in him not to release the loudest most annoying gasp in disbelief. A month?! If this was a cartoon he would have an arrow shot through his back.

“And well… if you’re with someone else then I guess it wasn’t meant to be, right?” You said with a nice smile now. There goes a second arrow right through his chest and if this was that cartoon then he would be on the floor bleeding out already from being rejected. Sensing his distress you decided to throw him a bone, “You do look good today.”

With that you left like you were never there in the first place.

A month? He can do a month, sure. Yeah. Easy as pie—except he doesn’t know how to make pie nor does he know if it’s easy at all! And he doesn’t get the saying and he doesn’t want to wait and he doesn’t know what to do!

“You okay there bud? You’re looking a little blue,” Soobin said right before Yeonjun crashed into his arms with a loud dramatic cry. Soobin struggled to catch him, nearly dropping the guy as Yeonjun gasped for air.

“A month! Y/n said in a month she’ll tell me if she’ll even consider a date! Who does that? Who puts someone on lay-away? Who would do that to me?” Yeonjun said pushing Soobin away so he could throw himself down on Kai’s couch ignoring the shout of the younger one cursing at him for making him miss a hit in his game. He held a hand up to his forehead like he was in a fainting spell, “Is something wrong with me?”

“Aside from your obnoxious dramatics, screechy laugh or ugly face? Probably no—ow!” Kai was cut off with Yeonjun pulling on a strand of his hair.

It was a Sunday, four days after you basically told him to fuck off for a month and he has no clue how to handle this rejection. Soobin knew this too and that’s why he said, “I’m meeting up with some girls to ‘study’ later, you should come with and forget about Y/n.”

“Can I come?” Kai asked and Soobin just nodded. Yeonjun shook his head no, “I don’t wanna.”

“Oh come on, yes you do,” Soobin said, reaching out to cling to him, “One of them has been begging to meet you. Why don’t you go for someone who likes you?”

“Fine, if you insist,” Yeonjun said, forgetting in that moment why he was so upset and what he was supposed to do for a month.

He joined the others at this little coffee shop later on in the day. He had to show up fashionably late for his own aesthetic and reputation and walked in like he was the coolest guy in the room. Soobin and Kai, of course, rolled their eyes but the girls were loving it.

“You’re late,” Soobin said with narrowed eyes because they had all been hanging out just a couple hours ago. Yeonjun just shrugged, “Can’t rush beauty.”

“Sure I can,” Kai said, kicking Yeonjun’s butt to hurry him along. Yeonjun glared at him but took a seat anyway. He looked at the three girls in front of them and he could immediately tell which one wanted to get to know him. She was practically sending him hearts with her eyes.

“Hyung this is Mina, Jisoo and Yeaun,” Soobin introduced him and he just nodded saying his name before looking down at what they were all doing.

“I thought we were studying,” Yeonjun said knowing damn well he didn’t even bring his backpack. He really just thought it would be funny to call them out on it since that was apparently the whole reason they gathered. He knew it was just an excuse but still. If you were here you wkd have brought your backpack, he’s just saying.

“Oh,” Yeaun laughed nervously, “We forgot our things.”

“It’s fine, Yeonjun is just messing with you guys,” Kai said, waving the older one off. Someone came by to get Yeonjun’s drink and that’s when they all started talking.

“I think I’ve seen you before,” Yeaun told him and he had to look at her closely to see if that was true. She gave him a flirty smile, “Dance class.”

“You’re a dance major?” Yeonjun asked in a questioning tone as he looked her over. She was cute, actually very close to his ideal type but hm…

Hm…

“Well no but I’m a theater major and I just want to expand my performance level, y’know?” She said trying to have a better conversation with him but he wasn’t all there.

Yeonjun knew he rejected Soobin’s offer to come out for a reason. Okay? At first he wasn’t even sure why he said no and that’s the only reason why he agreed—because it was so out of his character to turn it down, y’know? Like he said, they’re all cute but he just… he’s just not feeling it. That deal you made with him is really stuck in his mind.

You’re acting like he really is fickle. He knows he's dated a lot in the past [past as in a few weeks ago] but do you really have such little faith in him? You just had to say that if he dates someone else in the meantime then it’s not meant to be? What kind of shit is that? You won’t even give him a chance and he’s taking the challenge. He’s decided right now that he’ll show you. You think he’ll get over it in a month? You think he’ll go on to the next girl in line? Yeah alright, he’ll show you.

“Yeonjun,” Soobin called out to him and he snapped out of his own thoughts about you and caught everyone staring at him. “Huh?”

“Oh um, I was just wondering if you could help me with vocals some time, I heard you’re a good singer too,” Yeaun said brushing her fingers through her hair. Yeonjun looked her over, “Uh sure.”

He shook his head thinking of something else as he stood abruptly, “You know what, I’m not feeling good so I think it’s better if I just head home.”

“Oh wait, can I get your number?” Yeaun asked and he looked down at her outstretched hand with her phone in it. He wanted to say no but then he would look like a dick so he silently nodded and typed his number in before leaving without another word.

Once he was out of the café he was notified about her contact info. He scrolled through his notifications while he waited for the bus and he couldn’t believe it. No wonder you had no faith in him. He had dozens of people in his DMs like a lot. You think he’s a fuckboy he gets that but damn he really was. He’s embarrassed that he’s shocked. Okay, he’s gonna really have to put in the work this month.

You honestly thought Yeonjun got over it. It’s almost been two weeks since you last ran into him and you’ll admit part of you was happy but the other part felt kind of bored. Like… where’s that annoying bug that wouldn’t leave you alone?

“Watch it,” Beomgyu huffed as he quite literally pushed you aside so he could leave the room first. You glared at him as he laughed, “You’re walking too slow.”

“I’m thinking!” You yelled, “I can’t multitask.”

“It’s walking…” Beomgyu said as he stood straight, “Are you dumb? Anyway, where’s Yeonjun? Shouldn’t he be popping up around the corner somewhere?”

You rolled your eyes, “I don’t know, he’s probably moved on.”

“Awe, that makes you want to cr—ah!” Beomgyu shut up the second you pulled on his hair and began swatting you away, “I’m kidding! Damn, you little demon.”

“Whatever,” you sighed as you began to walk away from him, “I’m gonna go to work.”

You said your goodbyes and you left toward the bus stop. Maybe you just jinxed yourself or this was some sort of sign because the only other person waiting for the bus was none other than Choi Yeonjun. He didn’t notice you at first but when he did he looked genuinely surprised to see you.

“Hey,” you said casually as you sat about a foot away from him. He took his AirPods out and put them away, “Hey.”

After some time of awkward silence Yeonjun cracked a smile, “Miss me?”

“What? No,” you told him with a roll of your eyes. You even turned yourself away from him a bit but Yeonjun was quick to bring you back to him, “Kidding.”

“So what are you doing tomorrow?” Yeonjun asked, already getting the annoyed look from you that he really liked, “I’m not asking you out. It’s an invitation.”

“For?”

“Soobin’s having some people over at his place, you and your friends should come,” Yeonjun said casually but he had this smell sense of fear that you might think he’s asking you out. Which, okay, maybe he’s cheating and if he hangs out with you all night then it would be like a date but… no. You stared off in thought and he felt the need to rush out, “Not a date. I swear.”

“Hm… alright,” you said with a shrug. He couldn’t help the curl of his lips with a smirk as he nodded, “Cool.”

Saturday night you were joined by your two besties at Soobin’s place. There were definitely more than a few people but it also wasn’t crazy packed either. There were enough people here that you didn’t really see Yeonjun since he was somewhere off doing whatever he does at parties.

“Can’t believe you got Y/n to come,” Kai said as he watched you play some drinking game with Taehyun. Yeonjun was watching too but his eyes were more focused on one of your opponents who was watching you closely like you interested him. He doesn’t like that. You also seemed to be entertaining the guy, laughing at his jokes or letting him ‘help’ you in the game. Yeonjun knew what he was feeling but he’s not used to it. He’s not used to feeling jealous.

It’s only been two weeks that has been holding himself back from talking to you and he’s quite literally cut everyone else off. He understood that if he wanted you to take him seriously then he would have to change some of his behaviors and he’s been trying. Even tonight when girls have come up to him trying to get him to be with them he’s been very bland. He hasn’t entertained them like he usually would. He’s not giving them flirty smiles or arrogant eyes. He’s just not caring enough for them. Yet here you are talking to any guy who approached you. It was driving him insane.

“She’s here but not for me, clearly,” Yeonjun said bitterly as he took a big swig of his drink, watching you intensely, “Who’s that guy she’s talking to?”

Kai looked over, “No clue, why? Am I sensing some jealousy from the Choi Yeonjun?”

He rolled his eyes at that as he took another drink, “Shut up.”

“He is jealous, everyone! Choi Yeonjun is jea—ow!” Kai whined when Yeonjun smacked his arm and rubbed the irritated area glaring at him in the process. Yeonjun thrusted his drink into Kai’s hands as he left.

“One more Y/n, please!” Taehyun begged as he tried playing one more round but you were tired of the game already. The guy who you were playing against was cool but he was sort of touchy. He kept checking you out in a way that made you feel slightly uncomfortable but you tried your best to be nice to him. You were just over it at this point.

“Yeah Y/n, one more,” the guy winked at you as he appeared right next to you, a hand on your lower back making you inch away from him, “You can be my partner.”

Taehyun’s eyes narrowed but before he could try and save you from this creep, a hard hand landed down on the guy’s shoulder making him turn already looking annoyed by the touch. Yeonjun stood there with a cocky grin, “Sorry man, I think I’m gonna take over from here.”

“What are you talking about?” The guy said glaring at him, “Y/n and I are about to get some drinks.”

Your brows scrunched together in confusion, “I’m not interested.”

“You heard her?” Yeonjun asked, standing between you two now, “She’s not interested so you can run along now.”

“Listen, I don’t know who you think you are to bring your ass over he—“

“I can tell you who I am right now,” Yeonjun was getting more irritated by the second. He already had to watch the guy try and flirt with you from across the room and now he’s annoyed because the guy is right here trying to get you to drink more with him. It’s like he’s going into protection mode at this point and he wants the creep to go away if that’s what you want.

“Yeonjun,” you called out to him but he was too busy staring the guy off as if ready to act whenever the guy did. You had to tug on the side of his shirt to pull him back but he was like a stone, “Yeonjun. Come on, show me where the bathroom is.”

It was just an excuse to get out of there because you can see it right now that he is not happy. Taehyun sensed this too so he tried to help, “Yeah come on, let’s go man.”

You wrapped a hand around Yeonjun’s arm and he was finally able to retreat even though the guy had him pissed off. He was barely able to notice the hand you had on him until he was walking away trying his hardest to ignore the guy’s curses that were geared toward him. Taehyun left the two of you alone and Yeonjun led you down a hall past the guest bathroom toward Soobin’s room for more privacy.

“You okay?” He asked as you opened the door to the master bathroom, leaving it open as you fixed your appearance.

You gave him a nod, “I’m fine, you’re the one who seemed pretty upset back there.”

He leaned against the doorframe watching you, “Was I as pushy as that guy?”

You looked at him through the reflection of the mirror deciding to be honest, a smile even cracked on your face, “You’re pushy but not like him, he’s a creep.”

He chuckled but still looked wary over it. You released a small sigh as you walked up to him, “Thank you though. He was weirding me out the whole game.”

Yeonjun looked surprised by that. This entire time he thought you were responding to the guy's advances and it wasn’t until the end that he realized you didn’t like it. He licked his dry lips as he looked down at you and how close the two of you were now. He kept glancing down at your lips but he knew he shouldn’t even try. But then you were moving closer and he acted before you began to doubt it and he was so close… so close that your lips merely brushed against each other and as he dipped his head down to capture them—the moment was ruined.

“Move! I’m gonna barf!” Soobin yelled, cutting right past you two and practically pushing you out on his own. You stumbled into Yeonjun and he glared at his friend, annoyed that you were pushed and interrupted too. He held you by the waist for longer than he needed to but you didn’t tell him to move. With an annoyed sigh he led you back out of the room scratching the back of his neck nervously, “So…”

“I’m gonna go sto e if the others are ready to go yet, I’m um… pretty tired,” you said making him frown a virgin but he just nodded. He had about two weeks before you took him seriously, right? So was the almost kiss just a fluke or something?

He just let you go as he stood in the hallway all by himself debating what he should do now if you left. He’ll probably just leave too then.

You hated that Yeonjun was really getting to you. You wanted to spend more time with him but you were still hesitant about it. That’s why you left to find your friends but neither one wanted to leave yet. You were over this party so you just wanted to go and when you found Yeonjun about to leave too, you rushed.

“Wanna get a cab together?” You asked him, catching him off guard but when he saw it was you behind him he was quickly agreeing. So the two of you headed downstairs while Yeonjun made the call and you waited silently. You got in the car together once it arrived and gave both of your addresses, which weren’t far from each other.

“You know it feels weird not having you ask me out every five seconds,” you joked and Yeonjun attempted a smile.

“You said a month, didn’t you?” He said looking over at you, “And it sounds like you did miss me after all.”

“Maybe a little,” you laughed softly as you brushed your hair out of your face.

When the car arrived at your place first it was very clear neither one of you wanted to part ways. So you decided to bite the bullet and say, “Wanna come up? Hang out a little more.”

That’s all he needed to be rushing out the car behind you, tapping his phone on the screen to pay the driver before you could. You laughed at the way he hit his head against the top of the car but he just smiled along with you. The two of you went up to your place and he felt nervous for some strange reason. It’s not like he’s never been to a girl’s house before but this felt different.

He could see your personality all over the place and he took his time remembering some of things you had like your backpack and laptop which sat on the small sofa. Your mail at the entrance table, blinds drawn, one cup in the sink. You chuckled, “Are you looking at my sink?”

“Maybe,” he smirked, “I’ve got to remember everything in here in case you never invite me back.”

“You’re so weird,” you said as you sat down on your couch after turning the lights on. When Yeonjun was done looking at everything he joined you.

“So…”

“So…” you repeated what he said and the both of you broke out in smiles. He licked his lips in thought. Would he have been reading it wrong if he leaned in for a kiss again? Was that just some sort of… fluke?

“Are you going to kiss me yet or do I have to go fo—“

That was all Yeonjun needed to cup your face in his hands and press his lips against yours. You were taken back by his eagerness but you did your best to match it.

It was messy, a little too eager for a first kiss between you two. In his eyes, and maybe yours too, it had been anticipated, even if you rejected him a lot he knew there was tension there between you.

You swung a leg over his lap until you were straddling him and dragged his lips back to yours. Finally. You could feel the slightest hint of excitement throughout when you ground your hips down on his lap making him release a low groan and dig his nails into your hips, guiding you. Using his gasp to your advantage you let your tongue poke inside exploring the warmth of his mouth. His eyes fell shut deepening the kiss with his tongue and yours relishing in your make out.

Your hair fell to one side as you kissed along the corners of his mouth, a hand flat on his shirt while you trailed down toward his jaw. He licked his dry lips when he felt the tender affections on the angle of his jaw as the hand over his t-shirt ran over his chest. He let his head fall back trying to catch his breath when you playfully nipped at skin, kissing away any pain and sucking lightly. He readjusted you on his lap feeling a slight sense of uncomfortableness and let his hands fall back down to your waist keeping you in place.

"Fuck," he sighed out when your hand began to touch the end of his shirt sliding underneath to run over the ridges of abs. He'd gotten so muscular it was hard to not want to touch him all the time.

He always knew you were a great kisser and eager too. It had him wanting to forget everything and just live in the moment but he couldn’t. You made a deal.

One month. That’s how long you were going to make him wait for your answer and at this point he’s determined to wait that long even if he has you sitting pretty on his lap. The whole point was about him moving onto the next before you even gave him a chance so he has to prove he’s willing to wait for you to see he’s serious. When did he become so serious over getting one date? He doesn’t know.

“Wait,” he couldn’t help but release a small gasp when you kissed his neck but he had to stop, “Baby…” It slipped. He swears.

You pulled back immediately looking down at him with furrowed brows. He cleared his throat trying to sit up straighter without getting you off his lap, going as far as wrapping an arm around your waist for you to know he wants you there. He licked his lips, “Um… I don’t know what we’re doing but if it’s y’know… uh, I think we should stop.”

You looked visibly offended and he winced at your glare as you began to slide off him despite his attempt to keep you in place, “What?”

“It’s just, you told me a month, right? That in a month you’ll tell me if you want to go on a date and it’s only been two weeks so I know you probably haven’t decided yet and I don’t want you to think I want to sleep with you,” Yeonjun said watching your face contort to disbelief, “I mean, I do! But I’ve got to show you I’m serious about that date, right? Well I can’t really show you I’ve changed if I give in the second you let me come close.”

“So you don’t want to… tonight?” You asked shyly now as he moved to stand up.

“I do, I want to so fucking bad Y/n, but I want to prove to you that I’m serious even more,” Yeonjun told you honestly, “So I think it’s better we just call it a night before I do something that’s going to push you away all over again.”

“Okay…” you said as he looked down at you, “So you’re leaving?”

“I’ve got to, or else you’ll tempt me too much,” he said but he still leaned down so he was hovering over you and kissed you once again.

It was short and sweet and he just had to do it a couple more times before he called it a night.

“Mmh, this is so hard,” he groaned against your lips, “But I should go, right?”

“Yeah…”

He smiled as you stood up with him to lead him out. He left with a promise to text you once he’s home and you were left alone to wonder what the hell just happened?

You honestly did not expect to catch feelings for Yeonjun. Like first of all, the guy’s a fuckboy so obvious when he first approached you, you did not take him seriously at all. That’s why you kept rejecting him over and over again but the last few weeks he’s seemed to change. You don’t know if you fully trust it yet but it’s been a month.

Now you’re here at some VR studio yelling loudly because you’re both scared of the horror game you’re currently playing. He’s practically clinging to you and then yelling when you touch him. He nearly walked you in the face with the controller.

“Wait!” You yelled trying to get away from his flying hands until it actually did hit you, “Ow.”

Yeonjun has never taken off a headset so fast as he looked over at you with a huge pout. He grabbed you and pulled you into him immediately, “I’m sorry, fuck, I’m so sorry, let me see. Where did I get you? Are you okay? Are you bleeding? Oh my god did I cut you?”

“Relax, I was exaggerating,” you chuckled and despite smiling at that he still squeezed you in his arms.

“Poor baby, let me kiss it better.”

“You don’t even know where you hit me,” you joked but he still held your face in his hands and pressed his lips against yours. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at his excuses and kissed back. The screen flashed red signaling your deaths in the game. You sighed when he pulled away, “Now we died.”

“Rest in peace, let’s go,” Yeonjun said, helping you take off the headset fully and set it down next to his. He took you by the hand and led you out.

“What’s the plan now?” You asked as you left the studio. Yeonjun shrugged as he began to swing your laced hands, “Ice cream… and then a movie at your place?”

“Alright.”

It was supposed to just be a movie at your place in your bedroom but here you were kissing now. There was a hint of a smile into the kiss as he deepened it, dipping his head low. You straightened your back hoping to get closer to him, your hands going to his thighs for support as you sat criss crossed across from each other.

Just as you were moving closer to his groin area he reached for one of your wrists. Not stopping the kiss he pulled your hand away leading you to lay back. You followed his movements laying down on your bed as he hovered over you. He kissed down your neck, sucking softly on a spot he felt you twitch at. Your hands tugged on his shirt and though it was a quick pace he sat up pulling the shirt up.

He yanked it off feeling your hands fly to his belt loop but he stopped you again. He was slightly out of breath as he spoke, "Y/n..."

"What?" You asked self consciously, bringing your hands away. Leaning over you again, trapping you under him Yeonjun looked down. He tugged at your shirt, inching it off and you lifted your head to help remove it. He threw it on the ground moving to lightly kiss your neck again, "Let's take it slow, alright?"

Nodding feeling a little flustered you agreed, licking your lips as his hand trailed your side running over your bra. His mouth left wet kisses down to your collarbone and between your breasts. You let out a soft sigh feeling his gentle touch. You moved to unclip your bra, sliding it off. He left a gentle kiss on your right breast.

His hand cupped your chest kissing on the sides, "Just taking it slow..." He was telling himself that more than you.

His voice was airy as he let his tongue poke at your nipple. His thumb swiped over it feeling it begin to harden and let his other hand cup your other breast too. He repeated the action a couple times letting his hair tickle your neck before his lips circled around the hardened bud.

"Yeonj—ngh," you whined, wriggling around a little for more. He looked up at your face, tongue flicking your nipple as his other hand groped the flesh of your left breast. He didn't say anything but didn't move quicker. You wanted to rub your thighs together but with him laying between them it was hard to. Instead you ended up just trying to rut up against him.

When he pulled back a small string of saliva connected his bottom lip to your boob and before you could say anything he moved on to the other. You felt strange, getting so turned on with foreplay. You touched along his back wanting to feel more of him pushing your breasts in his face. He eagerly sucked on your nipples, coating them in spit that made you feel dirty in a good way. Once your nipples were as stiff as they could get he moved along down your stomach. He never once pulled his lips off your skin, not even when he tugged at the fabric of your shorts. He yanked them off, sitting back again looking down at your wriggling body.

Below him you looked so pretty.

Hair splayed across your bed sheets. Expression full of lust with darkened eyes. Exposed breasts moving with every pant of breath you took. Your frilly underwear that left little to imagination and with a smile he leaned forward to capture your lips with his again.

After a short kiss he pressed his face against yours. He licked the shell of your ear as a hand trailed down to the hem of your underwear.

He grunted shortly, finally removing your underwear as he went back to your breasts hungrily latching onto a nipple again. He slid your right leg up until it was bent close to your stomach, exposing more of your wet pussy. Silky strings of arousal coated his fingers as he ran them between your folds and over your clit. At the hint of some stimulation you began to meet the efforts of his hands with a roll of your hips. Unable to keep himself from a taste he dropped to be faced with your count.

With a groan, he pushed his nose into your wet pussy and inhaled deeply. Some slick nipped at the tip of his nose. Yeonjun just wanted to please you and make you feel good. His mouth closed over the stiffened clit suddenly and he began to lick and suck you, feeling the outline of your slit get his chin wet. He was lost in his own world, hips rutting against the bed as his tongue worked to taste your raw essence.

You were the sweetest thing to ever grace his tongue. His thick tongue lapped at your juices, running through your slit and pushing into your warm hole. He was quite literally tongue fucking you with a hand to your chest groping your tits again. If he could suck on them while feasting on your pussy he'd be in heaven.

You were in ecstasy with his mouth slobbering all over your cunt making you fuck up into his face. Yeonjun swirled over your sensitive bud using his other hand to spread out your soft folds. His tongue fucked into your pussy as far as he could go before feeling your walls clench around him. It only made the hand on your tits rougher groping more into his hand holding your hips anchored down to the bed as you began to shake.

"Yeon—" you moaned softly, hands in his soft dark hair keeping him in place. He didn't say anything, only heightening his movements and with a final call of his name you slowly unfolded before him. He eased you through your orgasm with a hand stretched across your body letting your hips guide him in a rhythmic motion through your high. Yeonjun pulled back for a moment, swiping his tongue on his lip, licking a small drop off as you caught your breath.

With an effort to lean up and kiss along your neck, you caught him off balance making him land on the bed instead. Quickly before he could try and stop you you were yanking his button open and tugging at the zipper. He hissed at the sudden friction of losing the thick layer of denim from his member. He let you slide them off, muscles tensing when he tried to lean up to kiss you.

You met him halfway, a messy tongue kiss mixed with the taste of your arousal and spit. Distracting him enough with the kiss you let your hand go over his bulge from his briefs.

Yeonjun’s breath caught in his throat at the first feel of your palm over his cock. His eyes glazed over as you smiled seductively at him kissing the tip of his nose before letting your hand slide past the briefs and touching him directly. You start with a couple experimental strokes, his mouth drawn open in a silent moan, "Should I stop? I can’t hear you.”

His brows are knitted together, a hand over your hair and the other fisted up to his forehead. He shook his head licking his lips, "Don't," his voice was hoarse, feeling you bring your face closer to his tip, licking it gently, tasting the bead of precum on your taste buds.

You flatten your tongue on the underside of his cock, a teasing long kitten lick from his base to his tip. You stopped at the head letting spit pool in your mouth and onto his cock keeping your eyes on his. Then, his eyes meet yours slowly and you swallow more of his length into your mouth. His eyes scrunched closed in pleasure, biting the back of his hand to stifle the loudest moan he's ever felt bubble up in his throat. It was something in the way you teased and looked him in the eyes while doing it.

Holding the base of his cock with one hand, you begin to bob your head setting a good pace, with your other hand on his thigh keeping yourself from losing balance.

Your eyes lock on the obvious muscles flexing under your touch. Your hand helps jerk the rest of him, your other hand coming up to massage his balls.

Yeonjun watches the way his cock disappears into your mouth, the feeling of your mouth, your hands working other areas. It took everything in him to not let out everything and instead released shaky breaths and soft groans. He was close.

You press into him, hand on his thigh once more as your nose pressed into his pubic bone. You took steady breaths through your nose doing your best to relax your throat and flatten your tongue. You stayed still for a second, letting yourself get used to his cock so deep in your throat, jagged breaths in and out. Yeonjun panted lightly, feeling the throb of his cock as his tip hit the back of your throat. He can’t believe you made him wait so long to have you like this. And he can’t believe it really was worth the wait.

You roughly swallow around him, suppressing a gag as you resume to deep throat him.

"Fucking hell," he groaned tossing his head back in bliss. Moans were pouring out of his mouth, his groan muffled into his hand, "I'm so—close."

His pants come quicker, more jagged and out of breath. His mouth hung open, hips almost locking from how hard his muscles flexed. With his cock twitching in your mouth Yeonjun slowly comes down from his high, hand petting your hair. His eyes were hazy and his mouth dry. It felt like he couldn't move a muscle and yet he was yanking you off his cock and smashing your lips onto his. He could taste himself on you and with your aftertaste on his he wished to kiss more. He was still hard, probably in anticipation when rummaging was heard.

Yeonjun pulled back to catch his breath letting you search for a condom tearing into it immediately.

He hissed in discomfort as he dragged his body into a sitting position, back pressed against your headboard. He let you slide the condom on his member watching it come back to life. His eyes locked on the spread of your legs moving to sit on his lap. Yeonjun kept a hand at his base and the other on your waist while yours gripped his shoulders.

He watched closely as you lined yourself up watching the head enter. He quickly looked at you as your mouth drew open, sinking down on his length. He didn't push to move even if he really wanted to and instead let you adjust. He wanted this to be pleasurable to you too. He whispered softly, "I want to make you feel so good.”

Your smile turned into a soft moan at the first expert roll of his hips digging his cock a little further into your walls. You ground your hips letting your head fall forward when he took a boob into his mouth fucking up into you.

He nipped at the bud playing with it as he looked up at you to the best of his ability. Your pouty lips moaning softly has him pulling away to kiss you again, "Am I making you feel good?"

He groped at your ass, spreading the soft cheeks apart and rammed into you when you threw your head back in a moan, "So fucking good."

You returned to him feeling lightheaded holding his face in your arms forcing him to look at you as he bounced you on his cock. A hand on your ass and another on your tit letting you pull his face into you. Your already erect buds tightening as he pinched and pulled at them. He left wet, sloppy kisses over your throat, moving his hands to grip your waist harshly. Yeonjun’s nail dug into your soft flesh as he lifted your hips up and down on his cock.

"Just like that," he bit into his lip, staring down at the way your hips gained a more determined rhythm to get him off. You pulled on his hair making him look at you, "I'm gonna cum."

"That's okay baby," he talked you through it, eyes locked on yours as he felt your warm walls begin to tighten around him. A familiar ring of nerves clenching around his member as it sucked him into your folds. He wasn't going to last much longer either.

He hasn't slept with someone and felt this good in a long time.

His voice was soft as he caressed the side of your face, "You're making me feel so good Y/n."

When you didn't respond and he felt himself at his peak he added, "Please, won't you let go for me?"

He let you snuggle your face into his neck, a hand still on your jaw as his forehead rested on your shoulder.

It was like a wave washed over you, the final words to put you over the edge. Just like that you were releasing, biting back a euphoric moan as Yeonjun hugged your sides talking you through it. In all your past hookups not once did they treat you so softly while tossing you around too. It made you want to show him other sides to you too.

When yours had calmed enough, the last squeeze of the ring was enough for him to let go into the condom. He grunted softly into your ear guiding your hips up and letting himself slip out. Your thighs shook as you crawled over to the side of the bed taking a moment to catch your breath.

Not caring much for the mess, Yeonjun took you by surprise when he laid down next to you. The condom long gone tossed off somewhere and he let his legs tangle with yours. As the sex haze wore off you began to question this, not because you regret it but because you don’t know where this leaves you two.

And the way Yeonjun was pulling you into his arms snuggling up against you as he let sleep began to take over his body, you debated if there was anything worth questioning.

By morning Yeonjun had processed last night through dreams. He rolled over to pull you to him once more and hit an empty bed. The blanket loosely covered over his lower half as he looked around the vacant bedroom.

With furrowed brows he looked on the floor sliding jeans on not caring for the briefs thrown on the floor and made his way out the door. He looked visibly taken back at the sight of you sitting on the couch working on your laptop. You hadn't even bothered to wake him up.

"Hey," you said blandly, going back to your work. Yeonjun picked up on your tone and no, he wasn't going to let you brush last night off.

"Why aren't you in bed?" He asked to check the time seeing it wasn't even seven yet. You shrugged. With a sigh he shuffled over to you, "Y/n."

You didn’t answer him right away, not until he took a seat next to you and pulled you into him, “Come on, let’s get back in bed. Or better yet, let’s get breakfast.”

“Yeonjun I don’t know…”

He rolled his eyes playfully, “That you like me? I know you do. I like you too and I thought last night was enough proof of that. So why don’t you put this away and please just have pancakes with your boyfriend?”

You matched the roll of his eyes as you cracked a smile, “Boyfriend? Since when?”

“Oh I’ve been your boyfriend for a while now but you’ve been pushing me away for over a month so I had to hide it.”

“You’re crazy.”

“For you? Yeah, I am,” he laughed.

::.

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decks-writing-blog · 10 months ago

Text

Whatever the Fuck Benrey Is: Chapter Sixteen: Appropriate Behavior Between Friends

Chapter One

Previous Chapter

Maybe Gordon really should just go ahead and cut his hair short. Getting it into a pony tail one-handed was possible but a massive pain and it wasn’t a particularly good ponytail, always coming undone far before the day was through, requiring fixing it or just dealing with it. Or maybe he could just let it hang down.

Smoothing it down, he looked in the mirror hung up on his closet door. It looked good but… as soon as he did anything or if it was windy outside, it would become a nuisance. The ponytail was always the easy compromise but with how much of a pain that was now, maybe it wasn’t worth it anymore. Damn, that sucked but what else could he do?

“Want help with your ponytail?”

Gordon turned to look at Benrey standing in the bedroom doorway, looking at him. “Huh?”

“Your ponytail. Want me to do it? ‘Cause you only got one hand so its always super loose and comes undone and stuff.”

A prank? … Maybe. But when they cuddled and Benrey stroked his hands through Gordon’s hair, it always felt rather nice. And it was the exact solution to the problem he’d just been contemplating. So why not give Benrey a chance and if he messed up Gordon’s hair for a prank, it’d seal the deal on him cutting it off. “Sure. Thanks. You know how to do it?”

“Uh… it can’t be that hard, can it? Just give me one of your hair thingies and then sit down somewhere I can reach easy.”

True, a basic ponytail really wasn’t that hard figure out. So he handed Benrey the hair tie he’d already grabbed as he went past him to lead the way into the kitchen. The chairs there were the perfect height.

Before sitting down though he turned Benrey and… no, he might regret it in a few minutes but he trusted him. He was the one who’d brought up the topic of Gordon’s hair last night after all, perhaps as a precursor to whatever prank he was about to try to pull now but maybe not too. “Thanks,” was all he said before turning back around and sitting around.

A moment later Benrey’s hands were going through his hair. As always how cool and smooth they were made it an unique experience, a pleasant one. Benrey was just nice to touch and be touched by in general.

“So uh… if we gotta, when we heading to old Black Mesa facility?” Benrey asked.

“Not until after we’re sure your data hasn’t already been salvaged ‘cause I’m not going back there unless I’m sure we have to.” Or they could wait until the teams already being sent down there found everything and brought it back. It’s not like they were looking at any of it on the spot, just gathering everything they could to be sorted through later. Then again it might be better to not risk Benrey getting found out if they could avoid it. That was something they’d decide on later though.

“Yeah, I know, duh. But how long is that gonna take?”

“I don’t know. A week, maybe two, could be longer. It depends on a lot of stuff. We’ll start looking tomorrow though.” And it wouldn’t even be suspicious because now that they had a few things up and running, it wouldn’t be viewed as odd if Gordon suggested they start going through the experiment data for anything else that could be brought back that might be helpful in Black Mesa’s struggle to get back to its feet. “I’m second in command now,” and still proud of that even if how he’d got that promotion had been less than fun. He’d still earned it though, for all the trauma as well as how strongly he’d pushed himself onto Breen upon returning to help them. “So I can probably make the call on who all looks at that stuff and set just us to it. If I can’t quite get away with that, it’ll take longer. But if you’re anxious about it, I guess we could…”

“Nah, I’m not,” Benrey interrupted, “just bored.” Figures. “But uh… done.” He pulled his hands back. “I do it right?”

Gordon reached back to finger his ponytail. It was a bit higher than he normal set it but not too tight or loose and far more secure than he’d been able to get it since losing his hand. “It’s perfect. Thanks a ton.” This was certainly far easier and faster.

“Awesome. I’ll uh… be in the basement today then. Probably gonna be a while so go hang out with Tommy or Coomer.”

Gordon stood, turning to see him starting in that direction. He followed. “Why?”

Benrey remained silent until reaching the basement door, pausing just outside it before turning back to look at him. “Gonna do some shape shifting. Try to see if I can’t stumble upon a… true form or whatever you called it.”

Oh! Gordon wanted to see that. “Do you think I could…”

“No,” Benrey interrupted, his tone not particularly sharp but it still firm enough to leave no room for trying to convince him to change his mind. “Don’t come down. I’ll see you later.” And with that he back stepped, phasing through the door, leaving Gordon alone in the hall.

Damn it. Gordon could technically sneak down there in like half an hour when Benrey might not be watching for him anymore. Just a peek nothing more. But… Benrey had told him not to and so he shouldn’t. Benrey deserved privacy just in general but also especially so because likely he hadn’t been allowed much of it in the past.

And so, with some effort he turned and headed back into the living room. He could play some games like he had when Benrey had gone on that walk yesterday. But… knowing Benrey was in the house doing something interesting would make it tempting sneak down to peek so he’d head out instead. He could follow through on that promise to replace Tommy’s gooed OSHA manuals. Maybe get the promised PS3 for Benrey too. All the big expenses were taken care of now and they were firmly settled in, so he could easily justify it. And heck, while he was at it, why not go back to the idea of getting Dr. Coomer Super Punch Out and a SNES too and if he could find anything spaced themed to give to Bubby when he returned from his trip to Aperture, he’d get that too.

Pulling out his phone, he brought up his text chat with Tommy. ‘Want to go on a mini-shopping spree with me? You need to tell me where to go to replace your OSHA manuals.’ And which ones needed to be replaced because Gordon didn’t remember.

The reply came blessedly rather quickly. ‘Sure. I’ll walk down. See you soon.’ Awesome, that took care of the loneliness thing that Gordon still needed to get over. That was easier said than done though so… he could give himself a break on this.

***

The hardest part about big changes when shape shifting was the bones. Benrey could change all his soft parts without too much issue but when not hyped up on whatever was in the air on Xen, changing his skeletal structure took time, effort, and energy. Even more now than back at Black Mesa thanks to his general power level being stuck somewhat low.

Perhaps he could try dissolving his bones entirely and just be a mass of flesh and whatever organs he felt like making, if any at all. That would leave him with no structure to his form. It’d be harder to move and would he even be able to speak? The hard mouth parts were important for speech after all. So… he would maybe try that idea later.

For now, because the one thing he did know about himself was that he had a connection to Xen – from there or made from something found there – he would he would try out some Xen forms. Having encountered headcrabs first, that seemed like a good place to start. Not having a headcrab in front of him made it hard; what the heck did their bones do? But he was pretty sure that wouldn’t be his true form anyway. Something along the way to making it or between it and whatever form he tried next might be though and thus it was worth doing.

It took a couple hours but he did eventually have his best approximation of a headcrab. The bone structure was off for sure, it was too big – he could only shrink himself so much – and he added an eye on top between the two arm like appendages because he liked being able to see – presumably the real things had some other kind of sensory organ he didn’t know enough about to be able to replicate – but it was close enough. It was also very much not his true form, nor was any form leading to it. Having no desire to linger in it, he quickly starting shifting again.

Next he shifted into a peeper puppy. Already in a somewhat quadrupedal form, it took less time but long enough that the boredom of doing nothing else still ate at him. He should’ve done this in front of the TV. Gordon would’ve been able to see if he had though and… he didn’t need the distraction of Gordon watching him contort his form and reshape his entire skeletal structure repeatedly as if he were putting on a fun show or science documentary.

He made the eyes last mostly because they were easy but also because upon opening them he was met with a far bigger field of vision than he’d ever had before. Even on Xen when he’d been physically bigger and thus been able to see more at once as a result, it hadn’t felt like this. It was pretty damn cool if a bit disorienting. Maybe he should leave and run around outside like this, really take in the sights. … Later. He had a mission today, one he’d been impatient enough about to not put off until tomorrow. So some other day he’d turn into a peeper puppy again and have Gordon take him for a walk around town.

Next he shifted into one of the acid spitting squid fellows that he couldn’t recall the full name they’d come up with for them. Given that he couldn’t recall that, likely his approximation of one was even less accurate but he was beyond caring about perfection because it and the lead up to it didn’t feel right either. Next was the guys who shot lighting. They were pretty cool with their weird joints. If he’d gone for them first he’d have mussed about and tried to figure out the lightening thing, assuming it wasn’t magic or whatever. But as it was, he wasn’t in the mood.

By the time he was done – or more like close enough because there was no way he go the leg bones right, he couldn’t walk on them – he was almost ready to call it quits. It wasn’t working and he was bored and tired and hungry even though he’d slept last night and ate like two days ago. But this was more exhausting than he ever would’ve thought.

Groaning, he slumped into the awful cold concrete wall. This was so lame! Why did he decide to try this? Who cared if he even had a true form or what it was if so. … But he’d already committed and had only one more alien he was familiar with the shape of. Except no because there was also the little floating guys with the big brains. Ugh! But still he was close so…

With another groan, still leaning face first into the horrible wall, he started shifting again. The guys that shot the bugs weren’t too different from the lighting guys anyway so… might as well complete this just for the sake of it. So he could say he did and then next time he could try other forms, whatever came to mind… assuming there was a next time anyway because so far this was proving to be lame.

As expected, despite looking for it, no ‘right’ feeling came to him as he shifted into his best exhausted go at one of the bug shooting guys. Same with the brain guy. But finally he was done! … But actually no because he didn’t want to go out like this, couldn’t if he tried because these things obviously couldn’t walk so he hadn’t bothered to try to make leg bones that could work well. And his hands were even worse, little more than nubs because trying on them had been too much work.

And so after rolling onto his back to stare up at the now dreadful basement ceiling with it single stupid light bulb that was too damn bright hanging down with a long pull cord to turn it on and off, he started shifting again. At least for this he knew what the human skeleton looked like – there’d been models of it in several rooms in the old facility – meaning it took less mussing around until he found the right shapes. The hardest as always were the hands and feet because for some god forsaken reason they were filled with so many little bones. Getting it perfect wasn’t necessary but the hands in particular were important to get more right than not because if they were wrong it’d be harder to hold things such as game controllers. And so as always, despite how tired he was, he took extra when forming his hands.

By the time he was finally done with that and reforming his old human shape in general, he was about ready to roll over and take a nap right here on the floor. The only thing stopping him was how cold it was down here. So instead he stood and put his clothes back on.

Upon finishing he felt more right than he had since starting this wretched exercise. Maybe this was his true form after all? … Nah, he was just used to this. It was the best form for his purposes most of the time so he used it a lot and thus it felt normal and ‘right’ compared to all the shapes he’d just taken for the first time. Meaning if he had a true form, he’d still likely default to this and thus would it be worth it to continue to try and find it? Maybe not but having already put in so much time and effort failing to figure anything out made the question more annoying. It’d of course be easiest to just wait patiently until he had his records but… he wanted to know now. It wasn’t happening today no matter what though.

And so he slogged back up the stairs and through the cling-wrap still covering the doorway and the door itself. Normally phasing through things didn’t take much effort but right now… it did. Ugh. He hadn’t felt this bad since being killed on Xen. Upon waking up though, the energy boost from Xen’s air had restored him fairly well though before he’d jumped through the last portal before it could finish closing. Here though he didn’t have that, leaving him to just feel crappy for however long it would last. Ugh.

In the hall now, the TV could be heard coming from the gamer pad, its door opened Benrey crept that way, peeking his head in. Gordon and Tommy sat on the couch. On the TV was… Melee. Cool, they were playing games together. Benrey could join them… or just sit and watch.

First though, he pulled back and made his way to the kitchen. Gordon had made a point once about him trying different foods and seeing what he liked. Well it was time to do that. He opened the fridge and opened the carton of eggs. There were six left inside. A normal amount to eat? Maybe. Having experience with trying to eat pigeon eggs in the past – the gooey mess inside was kind of yucky – he went straight to swallowing these whole. Next he ate the carton.

How cold it all was, was rather unpleasant, especially after how cold the basement had been. Used to be he never thought about it or let it bother him much but now after being encouraged and allowed to bask in warmth more often, the cold felt worse by comparison. So closing the fridge, he switched to the pantry. Lots more cardboard stuff in here which was good because he liked cardboard. He settled on eating one of the two boxes of protein bars, the inside of which wasn’t to dissimilar in flavor to cardboard. The wrappers were a bit annoying but he’d survived eating far worse. To finish off his meal he went under the sink for one of his soap bars. Too tired to bother putting it in the microwave, he ate it as was.

Finally he felt a bit better; less like he was immediately going to fall over but still rather tired and worn. If he tried hard he could probably hide it but… why bother? It didn’t matter if Gordon and Tommy knew he was exhausted, right? So, dragging his feet a little, he made he way back down the hall to the gamer pad. It was getting dark out, the main source of light quickly becoming the TV. He hit the light switch as he walked in, drawing Tommy and Gordon’s gazes to him.

“Oh, hey Benrey,” Tommy said with a smile.

Benrey started for the couch. “Hey Tommy.”

“Any luck with your uh… thing?” Gordon asked.

“No.” Benrey sat next to him, right next to him. Before he could respond to that, Benrey took his arm – the right one so he wasn’t using that hand for anything anyway – and draped it around himself, allowing him pull his legs up and to press into Gordon’s side. He was warm and soft and it didn’t matter that Tommy was right there on Benrey’s other side because Tommy was cool and thus shouldn’t care that Benrey and Gordon liked to cuddle.

“Uh… okay.” Gordon was tense but shifted his arm around Benrey to hold him a bit more securely regardless. “First of all, you’re fucking freezing.”

“Mm-hmm.” That’s certainly how Benrey would describe it.

“Second, are you… shorter?”

“Maybe.” Probably. He hadn’t exactly been focused on reforming to the same exact size and shape. And thus since the last form he’d tried had been only a bit bigger than as small as he could go, he likely hadn’t made himself the same height as before. That was fine though. Being tall was good for intimidating people but being short was good for being annoying. The latter was more fun most of the time, certainly with Gordon, which was why he’d defaulted to being shorter than him pretty earlier on. Being even shorter now would maybe make him more annoying.

“And uh… are you okay? This isn’t like you.”

“Just tired and cold.” And frustrated over having spent almost the entire day doing something that proved to have not only been a stupid waste of time but was also exhausting.

“All right then.” Gordon didn’t sound too sure but he relaxed a little more anyway.

“You guys have um… grown awfully close, huh?” Tommy said.

“I guess so, yeah,” Gordon replied. “Maybe don’t uh… tell the others. Not that it’s bad or… or shameful or anything like that, just… you know how Bubby is sometimes and Dr. Coomer’s uh… he can be kinda weird too.”

“I won’t tell, promise. But it’s nice to see you’ve become good friends now even if uh… you’re a bit closer than I’d thought. That’s nice too though.”

It was nice, very nice. Nice enough that if Tommy weren’t there, Benrey might have just crawled into Gordon’s lap at this point before purring himself the rest of the way to sleep against his chest. But there were limits to what he was willing to do even with Tommy as the only witness and that crossed them, especially the purring. He’d tried several times in the past to get rid of whatever inside him made the purring noise but it just seemed to be something his body could do in any form he had that breathed which was all of them because it was too uncomfortable not to for longer than an hour or two.

“Anyway, Benrey,” Gordon nudged him slightly, “remember how I promised I’d get a Play Station 3? Well I finally did it. Got your Heavenly Sword game too.”

That was about the only thing that could rouse Benrey from his exhausted slump. “Really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“We even set it up,” Tommy added, “it’s got internet and everything.”

“Play Station Plus?”

“Of course.”

Benrey had to hold back the urge to burst into purring after all. “Ooh you’re the best. Tommy you too, you’re the second best. I wanna play it.”

“We’re not particularly attached to this match so sure, go for it.” Gordon moved his arm, allowing Benrey to get up easier. Leaving his warmth sucked but it was Play Station and Heavenly Sword, finally.

***

Not long after Tommy eventually left due to how late it was getting, Benrey shifted from just leaning into Gordon’s side with his arm around him to sitting in his lap. He didn’t pause his game for even a second or two during the switch either, impressive. With how he only ever seemed to weigh half of what he should, it was a non-issue, especially being noticeably a little shorter. How much would be hard to say until they stood next to each other again but it was almost certainly a thing.

Unsure where else to put his arms now, Gordon wrapped them around Benrey. And even more intimate position but not really new except for the fact that they were doing it on the couch. Also new to the couch was… Benrey starting to purr. Which erased the lingering awkwardness that perhaps Gordon was the only one who’d even felt. If they cuddled in bed why couldn’t they cuddle on the couch sometimes too?

Just two friends cuddling, nothing weird about that. … Okay maybe it was a little weird but only because of what society defined as appropriate behavior between friends being so needlessly strict. They were just friends, nothing more going on here. Even if the sound and feel of Benrey purring kinda made Gordon wish he could purr too so he could express how good this felt without having to say the words. Words were hard and weird.

As pleasant as it was though, Benrey’s game play was flagging. It had been for a while, getting worse and worse as his evident exhaustion continued to drag at him once the rush of his excitement had started to wear off. His head was lolling too, he had to jerk it back up every few seconds.

“You’re tired.” Gordon kept his voice low but Benrey still seemed to almost flinch a little at it.

“A bit, yeah, but I’m fine. I can keep playing.” Even his voice sounded sleepy. It was late so that made sense but… he’d been asleep when Gordon woke this morning, meaning he shouldn’t be tired. But even on nights he did need sleep, he’d never seemed this tired.

“Shape shifting took a lot out of you, huh?”

Benrey’s purring stuttered but didn’t stop. “Yeah.”

Maybe that was why he hadn’t wanted Gordon to watch. Part of it anyway. Likely it was also more of that not wanting to be put in a metaphorical glass box and made to perform thing. It would be nice to know more. Like what kind of approach he was taking to finding his true form, what all shapes did he try so far, why exactly it had taken most of the day and left him so exhausted. Now wasn’t a good time to ask and perhaps never would be. If he wanted to share he had to know by now Gordon would be interested in hearing so asking would just be nosy. So instead…

“Probably time to head to bed.” It was still only a bit less than an hour earlier than their normal usually Benrey impose bed time, but Gordon was feeling rather sleepy. Probably due to Benrey’s purring. It was more soothing than a cat’s purring and that was saying something.

“Nah, I can play a bit longer. I’ve been waiting for this for so long.”

“You’ve already played for hours though and it’ll still be here tomorrow. So it’s finally my turn to insist on bedtime. You don’t get to say ‘no’ ‘cause you never let me say ‘no’.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you could die if you don’t sleep, I can’t. … Or don’t think I can. But even if I can uh… I’ll come back.”

Instead of pointing out that just because he could come back from the dead didn’t mean that that death wouldn’t suck or that he deserved rest even if only because being tired was unpleasant, Gordon shifted his hold on him and stood, transferring him into a bridal carry. He let out a small yelp, his purring cutting out. A shame but it had to be done. “You can play more tomorrow, I promise. It’ll give you something to do while I’m at work looking for your stuff.”

“But… I don’t wanna.”

As much as Gordon liked the idea of carrying Benrey to bed and dropping him on it just because he could, Benrey still held the controller, the console and TV needed to be turned off and Gordon needed to get ready for bed. None of which he could do with only one real hand and his arms full of Benrey so he gently lowered to him his feet instead. He was indeed shorter. Where before he’d come up to Gordon’s shoulder he was now only up to mid-chest height. It was… cute; he was cute. No need to say that out loud though even if the temptation to had hit with the thought. Thank goodness he’d thought before speaking.

“I know but I’m going to bed so… you know,” he said instead. “You really do help a lot.” He wasn’t entirely nightmare free but even on the now rare instance in which he did have one, Benrey was always right nearby to make it better and help him fall back asleep.

“Damn it, fine. Bedtime. Only ‘cause I like you.”

“Thanks. I like you too.” It was true but for some reason saying it out loud felt… weird. Like the words were heavier than he’d intended. Thankfully Benrey didn’t seem to notice as he turned away to look at the TV again, allowing him to navigate to the ‘save and quit’ button in the menu. Shaking it off, Gordon turned and headed to get ready for bed. Probably it had felt weird because he was tired.

Next Chapter

#hlvrai #frenrey #benrey #hlvrai gordon

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canirove · 2 years ago

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Kylian Mbappé Imagine | five

Little summary: This is a request by @maetheh here on Tumblr. You are on a long distance relationship with Kylian after meeting in the country where you live (in this case Spain). You would like to live together, but you are still studying and moving isn’t possible at the moment. But just at the moment... Hope you like it and thank you for reading! ☺️💜

Masterlist

“Hola, churri.”

“I regret teaching you that word so much” I say, rolling my eyes. “Why did I do it?”

“Because you can’t say no to this face” Kylian smiles. “And it is cute, I like it.”

“It isn’t cute.”

“It is.”

“Whatever. How was training?”

“Cold and miserable” he sighs.

“Here it is sunny. Look” I say, moving my phone so he can see through the window.

“Urgh, I hate you.”

“Sorry” I smile. “But if you moved here, you could also enjoy the sun.”

“Stop playing agent” he laughs.

“I am not playing anything, I’m just stating a fact. The weather in Madrid is better than in Paris.”

“Maybe. But you are also trying to convince me to move there and sign for a certain team.”

“Atlético de Madrid? Never. I don’t hate you, Kylian. I love you.”

“And I love you too” he smiles. “But stop playing agent. It isn’t working.”

“Shame” I sigh. “You would look so handsome in white…”

“I already wear white.”

“But it isn’t the same. Ours is more… pure.”

“Yeah, pure. Like you, uh?” he smirks.

“Oh, shut up.”

“Now is when I would tell you make me, and you would kiss me and probably show me how pure you are.”

“But we happen to be 1.000 kilometres away. When are you coming back to visit me?”

“I was there last week!” Kylian chuckles.

“I know, but I miss you.”

“And I miss you too” he pouts. “But people are already gossiping, wondering why I am constantly spotted in Madrid.”

“You are having secret dates with Florentino.”

“That’s what they probably believe, yes” he laughs. “But you know, you could also come visit me. You know I don’t mind paying for the flight.”

“I know, and I’m very thankful. But my final exams are around the corner, and I must start studying. I don’t need a certain French guy distracting me” I smirk.

“Giroud? He also distracts me, though how not to when he looks like that” he sighs, trying to hide a cheeky smile.

“You are the worst, Kylian” I laugh. “But I already knew he also distracts you. I haven’t forgotten about the day we met at that party, about how we both were looking at him as if he was this God that had come to earth to bless us with his presence.”

“I still don’t know how you paid me any attention that night” he chuckles.

“You were the only one who spoke some Spanish. And in case you didn’t know, you yourself also happen to be really hot.”

“Oh, stop it. You are gonna make me blush.”

“That was my goal” I smirk.

“But now you’ve made me remember our first date, when I took you to that restaurant that supposedly made the best paella in Ibiza, and it actually sucked. If I was there, I would take you out for lunch.”

“If you lived here…”

“And if you lived here…”

“What?”

“I mean… why not? We are always talking, or to be 100% accurate, you are always teasing me about moving to Madrid and signing for Real Madrid. But we never talk about you moving to Paris.”

“Maybe because I don’t speak any French?” I chuckle.

“But your English is amazing, way better than mine. You could survive with that while learning French.”

“Ok, and what about my studies, uh? I haven’t finished my degree yet.”

“But if you pass these next exams, you’ll only have to do an internship to finish it, right?”

“Yes.”

“Then come do that in Paris.”

“Like an Erasmus?” I laugh.

“Something like that” he shrugs.

“Kylian, I already told you. I don’t speak any French, only the few sentences you’ve taught me. And if I’m being honest, I don’t truly believe they mean what you say they mean.”

“You wound me, my dear” he says, dramatically putting a hand on his chest and making me laugh. “But if my plan works, you won’t need to speak much French.”

“Your plan?”

“Come do your internship at PSG.”

“What?” I say, my phone almost slipping from my hand.

“Your grades so far have been amazing. That alone should make them consider you as an intern. But you also happen to speak Spanish and English fluently, which would help you communicate better with the players and understand what they may need. And, you also happen to know a certain player who could put a good word in for you.”

“Kylian…”

“C`mon, think about it. You’ll be doing your internship in one of the best football teams in the world, and learning from some of the best physios out there. Imagine how cool that would look on your curriculum! And it would mean being together. For real. No more facetime calls that last hours and falling asleep until your phone falls in your face. You could be falling asleep on my shoulder before I take you to bed.”

“That last part sounds lovely” I smile.

“Everything sounds lovely if you ask me.”

“How long have you been thinking about this? About me moving to Paris with you?”

“Since the first time I came back home after visiting you. I missed you so much that I thought: I must find a way to make this work for both of us.”

“And that doesn’t involve signing for Real Madrid.”

“Exactly” Kylian laughs. “What do you say? Would you think about it?”

“But me being there… What if it affects you? What if people start spreading lies, saying that your performance isn’t good because of me?”

“That won’t happen. If there is something affecting me, it is not having you here next to me each morning when I wake up.”

“Aww, Kylian.”

“Will you think about it, then?”

“I will. But once I’m done with my exams.”

“Of course, perfect. You focus on nailing those, and then we’ll discuss when you are moving to Paris.”

“I haven’t said yes yet” I chuckle.

“But you will. You have the same smile you had when I asked you out and you said you weren’t too sure about it.”

“Do I have a smile that says all that?” I laugh.

“You do, churri.”

“Please don’t call me that ever again. If you do, I am not moving with you.”

“Ok, ok” he laughs. “What about gorgeous?”

“That sounds much better.”

“I love you, gorgeous.”

“I love you too, Kylian.”

#kylian mbappe #kylian mbappe imagine #kylian mbappe x reader #kylian mbappe fanfic #football imagine #football fanfic

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thatinsufferablenerd · 3 months ago

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Post Spooky Update

The weather is slowly cooling off here finally. Spooky Season is over and another year has gone by without reading any scary books or movies like I say I’m gonna do every year. I’ve been enjoying all the festive content in my different social media feeds instead. Horror book recs from BookTube, video essays that analyze aspects of the horror genre, discussions of films or anime that set the mood. I probably should be more embarrassed of how much YouTube I watch, but seeing as I’m a housewife with a passion for learning and too many interests to succinctly sum up, I’m not going to lose too much sleep over it.

I wish I did have some mood appropriate reads to tell you about. I love books, I love storytelling, I love getting lost in a good book, but my ability to actually get into–let alone through–books has atrophied so much I’ve concluded it’s a Me ProblemTM. When I was young, in elementary and middle school, I could read a book a day. I DID for a long time, exchanging the one I just finished for something new during lunch. And then I got older. I got into movies and writing, I had a job, then I had longer hours, then I had kids that I stayed home with. The library was too far to walk to, we didn’t have money to buy books, and I was too tired to read them anyway. It was easier to focus on honing my craft of writing because it was simpler to hit the backspace button when a toddler smacked my keyboard than risk a library book.

And I regret that. The act of consuming story and pure, distilled joy I get from them is a core part of who I am. If I didn’t love reading, I would never have developed a love for writing. If I didn’t love the stories and characters I read in books, I would never have discovered the love I have for analyzing and discussing them. I would never have learned about the relationship between literature and culture, that I love learning about historical context, the art of interpretation, or linguistics, things like that. Ever since I stopped reading piles of books or trade paperbacks of comics from the library, I’ve said to myself every few months “I miss reading”, “I want to get back into reading”.

It’s not like I haven’t read anything since I was nineteen. Of course I have. I read all five books in the A Song of Ice and Fire series in the span of a year. I read monthly releases of DC comics for years, picked up pulpy romance novels ‘just as a palate cleanser!’, I tried starting book clubs with friends, promises of ‘I won’t buy or borrow any books until I read the ones I have’. And then I’d get through a few chapters of whatever I picked up only to put it down for the last time. I’ve made some progress! I read A Song of Achilles and Circe by Madelline Miller, Skyward by Brandon Sanderson, I accidentally read the sequel to Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter? In the last year. And I’ve gotten further in a lot of the books I’ve picked up than before. I’ve been reading manga more than anything the last few years. My Hero Academia, Spy x Family, My Dress-up Darling, Dungeon Meshi, Demon Slayer, One Piece, all stories I’ve enjoyed and have a lot to say about! I re-read the last six volumes of Demon Slayer a few weeks ago and wrote an entire comment section dissertation about it, the latest installment in a series that serves as the quiet void I shout into.

The first step for me was probably accepting that I’m never going to be able to read like I did in middle school. That’s okay, right? I might not have a JOB, but I am a grown-up with grown-up things to do. And it’s not like I’ve been sitting on my ass the whole time. I’ve learned so much, like how to actually form opinions, how to interpret text, how to analyze properly, how to do research, how to really write, among so many other things. Things I had to teach myself. I know, they say ‘the best writers are also prolific readers’. I believe that, I really do. I would never claim that I’m some genius writer and better than people who have gone to school for this or are so well-read that it improves their prose by default. What I am saying is that…I want to get there. I miss reading.

So, I set a small goal for myself. There are so many books out there that I want to read. And sure, my little local library has a limited catalog, and Libby has at least two weeks’ waits on everything, and I can’t afford to buy books brand new, but we can only work with what we have, not what we don’t. I’ve decided to read one contemporary book, one classic, and one (ish) manga a month. Sure, there are going to be some blurred lines here, but I think we’re all mature enough to handle that. I’m going to define ‘classics’ as anything more than a century old. Slaughterhouse Five is newer than that but it is taught as a classic and on my TBR, so maybe it will count as a classic for that month. Who knows? We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. And if the manga is long, say, more than three hundred chapters, then I might split it into two months.

With that being said, my picks for November are: A Hero of France by Alan Furst, Tolkien’s translation of Beowulf, and for the manga, Bleach.

My local library had a book sale recently. I bought a hundred and thirty books for eighty-five dollars in two trips. Not all of them are novels! I’m very proud of the memoirs and other non-fiction books I got. But that should keep me occupied for a good while yet. Not to mention the books I already have. That Furst novel is one of the ones I picked up last year at the book sale. It’s historical fiction about an agent in the French Resistance. I like historical fiction, I think it’s a versatile genre for both readers and writers. I read about half of a book called Lion’s Blood that was alternate US History last year that I’m gonna have to go back to because I STILL think about it. Anyway, that Furst novel. I’m about halfway through and I’m going to finish it. I’m invested enough to see it through, and I’m enjoying the experience. When I finish it and have had some time to collect my thoughts, you’ll be hearing them.

While at that book sale, my almost nine-year-old became infatuated with a book. He liked the cover and title so much that he wanted me to buy it for him. I told him, “Buddy, this book would be a tough read for a grown-up.” He said he would figure it out, that he would ask for help when he needed it. The book was a dollar, so I bought it. I can’t say I’ve ever read Clive Cussler, but if I can help him understand it, I can be persuaded to read dry historical fiction. I know enough about WWII to explain what’s going on to him. It’s not on my list to get done by the end of November, but it is a high priority read.

I picked Beowulf (and this translation) specifically because A) I know how influential Beowulf is on western storytelling, B) I’m a fan of Tolkien as a writer as well as his love of and gift for languages, C) I watched Monstrum’s episode on Grendel’s Mother and the Cardinal West YouTube documentary on Tolkien in the last few months, both of which I enjoyed a lot, and finally D) I’m a fan of Dr. Chase from The Best of Fantasy. My friend was kind enough to surprise me with a shiny new copy. It’s probably going to be a difficult read for me. I plan on taking notes and going slow to really digest it. I’m also trying to talk my mom into a buddy read, but we’ll see how the cookie actually crumbles with that one.

Now, for how I landed on Bleach. I watched the entirety of Naruto and Shippuden (yes, even the filler) back in 2020, 2021, and then binged One Piece in 2023 into the early part of this year. So, of course, the insufferable nerd in me said ‘I want to be able to say I’ve seen the Big Three’. So I watched the anime. I wasn’t that impressed with it. Yes, certain characters stayed in my brain, yes I LOVE the Thousand Year Blood War (I’m currently behind), but it didn’t really hit me like Naruto and One Piece did. I thought the passion of the fandom might get me more into it. I tried art, lore videos, discussion, analysis, and that did help! But Bleach just…kinda fell by the wayside for me. A lot of fans say the anime isn’t as good as the manga, but it’s a long series. I didn’t have the time or energy to commit, especially when I had other series I was actually into to follow. I do follow One Piece, Spy x Family, and My Dress-up Darling on release. I followed MHA for more than three years week to week, only binging the last hundred or so chapters last month after its conclusion.

And then AJ dropped his video titled ‘The Hollow Melancholy of Bleach’. It brings up some of the feelings I had watching the Fullbringer Arc and the Thousand Year Blood War and expresses something the anime just…didn’t capture for me. But that video and Geoff Thew from Mother’s Basement’s video on Bleach finally sold me. It took me a couple weeks, according to the notes I’ve been taking I started on October fourteenth.

The manga is fantastic. I tried for thirty chapters a day and haven’t been as consistent as I’d like, but I’m in the two-sixties now. The art is beautiful, the character writing is great, the fights are intense, the vibes immaculate and the emotions are SO deep, so complex and resonant. I am so glad I jumped in, and I’m going to continue to take notes as I go.

Reading isn’t the only thing I do, obviously. My first love will always be writing. I took a bit of a break cough-BookTube-cough, but picking it back up is always a joy. I’ll probably be spending some time in front of my white board in the near future working out some world building details that were not super relevant till now. I watched Jake over at Nerd Level Rising talk to Christopher Ruocchio and was sent into a PANIC over idiolects and regional dialect features, which I’ve been doing all along, just not enough? I guess? I looked everything over and did some light edits, took some notes to make things more consistent. Culture is a complex web, all interconnected and inseparable from the individual parts. Building them is hard work, a job that never seems to end, even if the document of notes is for me, not the hypothetical reader.

You could say that I was too heavily influenced by long form stories with extended casts, because even though I’m closing in on a hundred and seventy thousand words, I’m in part two of…five? Maybe? In epic fantasy, there are so many moving parts to keep track of at any given moment aside from the nuts and bolts of prose and pacing. I worry all the time that everything I have is trash, and even if it isn’t, it would never get picked up by a trad publisher and I won’t be able to afford self-publishing. I’ve had some other sets of eyes on my prologue as alpha readers. Positive, encouraging feedback that I’m grateful for! It’s not the same thing as having someone who’s familiar with the story, who knows where my head is at, where I’m going. I don’t write to publish, I do it because I love it. But I’ve been writing for twenty years, and actively working to get better at it for fifteen of them. There’s just nothing to show for it. Everything I’ve finished has ended up in an old computer’s recycle bin or in a literal paper shredder, with abandoned works in progress along the way. As terrifying as it is to expose yourself to the light, it’s impossible to soak in the warmth of sunlight in the dark.

I’m going back to the grindstone when I’m done here. I won’t give up.

Other than all the YouTube distractions and trying to rightfully earn the title of bibliophile, I’ve been trying to watch shows again. Just a few things. I watched Kaguya-sama: Love is War and loved it, enough to put the manga on my TBR. I finally got around to watching Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End with the same result. I watched Dungeon Meshi twice, read the manga front to back. What a story! I’ve been meaning to write an essay on it, but I can’t imagine having anything to say that hasn’t already been said. I watched Mob Psycho 100 and can’t express enough how much it resonated with me. For the first time, I watched Over the Garden Wall. The kerfluffle on Twitter over it being removed and restored to Hulu recently had me digging that up. Quality Culture did a great essay on that series last year which I highly recommend. My friends have been obsessed with the new Interview With the Vampire series, enough to read the books, so I watched three episodes of season one and liked it a lot. I’ll get around to it. I watched Steven Universe: Future, which I’ve been wanting to for a while. We watched the main series with our kids and enjoyed it, and I thought the sequel series built on the themes and story well.

And like everyone else in the anime community right now, I’m watching Dandadan. It’s GREAT. The animation, the sound design and OST, the character writing, the action, all of it is just stunning. It’s funny and got a lot of heart to it. Momo and Okarun are so cute. I haven’t watched the new set of episodes in the Thousand Year Blood War yet, but I’ll catch up in the next week or so. I’ve been impressed with this adaptation, especially with the old series not really pulling me in until its final episodes. Not only is it visually enrapturing, it really hits on the atmosphere and emotions; not just in service to the story but truly elevates the material.

With all the things I take in, it’s probably no surprise that there’s no less than five trains of thought going on at any given time. That video Tale Foundry did last week about Weird Tales and pulp fantasy, and this comment arguing that the fanfic community has stepped in to fill that niche? Yeah, I’m still thinking about it. Zoe Bee’s most recent drop about how metaphor influences the way we think and how that relates to politics? Of course I’m thinking about it! Not just about how it affects rhetoric but how it affects diction in prose, which is more my wheelhouse. Princess Weekes’ follow up to her ‘Tall, Dark and Racially Ambiguous’ essay surrounding casting Heathcliff gave me food for thought, and Jess of the Shire’s fantastic essay ‘Monstrosity & the Vampire’ did too. Tim over at Hello Future Me did a video about ‘Arcology: The City in the Image of Man’ and I’m still chewing on that one too. How could I not? The ideas presented there are FASCINATING, big picture questions about structuring society and the growing subgenre of solarpunk. Broey Deschanel and Final Girl Studios both doing amazing videos on The Substance? Of course I’m over here thinking about them! Final Girl Studios’ essay is called ‘The Simulacrum of Feminine Performance’, how could I not sit here and think about that, and what that is, and what that means?? And on top of all that, I opted into a DnD one shot in a couple weeks! Gonna need a character for that, one that’s PG…man, I’ve been busy!

#spilled thoughts #small talk #digital diary #book tumblr #booklr #writeblr

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prolestariwrites · 2 years ago

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WIP Wednesday

Well it's WIP Wednesday, so here is a bit of a Resident Evil fic that has been in the works for a while and I'm prepping to finish and roll out this spring!

●・○・●・○・● ●・○・●・○・● ●・○・●・○・●

The voice is instantly familiar, and Leon narrows his eyes as memories of Lanshiang surface. “Is this Jake?”

“Yeah. Is this Leon?”

He stands and walks to the door of his office, closing it before he replies. “Yes. How did you get my number?”

“You gave it to me, remember?”

“No.”

There is an annoyed huff on the other end. “Whatever. I need to ask you something.”

Leon swallows thickly. He knows everything about Muller now; after returning from Lanshiang, he had read every bit of information on the guy. Knowing he was related to Wesker was unnerving to say the least, and he regretted not being able to interview him personally the times they had met face to face. But there was just too much going on, and he’d been too busy since, although he made sure the DSO was keeping tabs on him and his little protection operation. “Make it quick,” he replies.

“Do you know where Sherry is?”

“Probably working,” he says.

“No. Something’s wrong.”

Leon frowns. “What are you talking about?”

“She hasn’t answered her phone in two weeks. Is she on assignment or something?”

He makes a face in annoyance. Not only had Sherry stayed in contact with Jake—which breaks about six protocols regarding agents on protective duty, not to mention Sherry talking to Wesker’s son—but he didn’t know about it. Which tells him that Sherry purposefully didn’t mention it, and Leon is not at all ready to think about why she wasn’t forthcoming. “Yeah. She’s probably on assignment. I suggest you leave her alone.”

“Listen, asswipe,” Jake growls, “you’re supposed to be her boss, right? And you don’t know where your agent is. Can’t you fucking find her?”

“Watch it,” Leon snaps in warning. “I’m not her boss. If Sherry is on assignment, I wouldn’t necessarily know the details.” Then he takes a beat as he frowns. “What do you mean, she hasn’t answered her phone in two weeks?”

“Don’t you call her?”

Leon clears his throat. “Not regularly,” he admits. “But I’m sure she’s—”

“Well that’s kind of shitty of you,” Jake scolds him. “Sherry talks about you a lot. And what, you don’t bother with her no more?”

“Look, there’s been a lot of shit going on, if you haven’t noticed,” Leon argues. “And besides, I’m not about to give the location of one of the DSO’s agents to some random… person. Now don’t call me again.”

“No, wait!” Leon pauses from hanging up at Jake’s pleading tone. “Seriously. We were in communication pretty regularly. I’ve been tracking some BOWs through eastern Europe and she was keeping tabs on activity using her agency access. We would call or text every few days. And it’s been two weeks. It’s not like her.” Jake curses as Leon frowns, noting how genuinely frustrated he sounds. “Can’t you look on some computer or something, for fuck’s sake, and find her?”

Leon takes a moment to consider. If what Jake says is true, then yeah, something could be wrong. “Hang on,” he grumbles, sitting back at his desk. He opens the agency’s dashboard and types in his password, which gives him access to almost all of the company’s files. After clicking on the personnel search he enters Sherry Birkin into the system. Her picture pops up, her smile as sweet as the day they had met, and Leon feels a familiar tug of protection for her. Quickly he scans her basic info until he finds the tab for assignments, and a moment later her status appears on the screen.

“She’s on leave,” he says, breathing a bit of a sigh of relief.

“Leave?” Jake snaps. “What kind of leave? Like she’s sick?”

“No, personal, for…” Leon feels the blood drain from his face as he looks closer at the screen. “Jake, I’m gonna have to call you back.”

“No, fuckface, don’t hang—”

Leon presses the receiver button and quickly dials the extension for human resources. One of the clerks answers and he says, “This is Leon Kennedy. I need a status report on Sherry Birkin.”

#resident evil #re #resident evil 6 #jake muller #leon kennedy #sherry birkin #jake x sherry #wip wednesday #fan fiction

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grymmnox · 2 years ago

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weekly fic recs #33

i am going insane, actually! enjoy this week's fic recs <33

fandom(s): bungo stray dogs, harry potter, my hero academia

ship(s): soukoku, kousano (if thats their ship name. kouyou/yosano), shin soukoku, ranpoe

Oneshots

Don't Mess With A Man's Hat; Grinch1234 - bungo stray dogs

mature | 5.6k words | chuuya/dazai, chuuya & dazai, dazai & kunikida, atsushi & dazai, ADA & dazai, dazai & mori, chuuya & mori

summary:

Chuuya lets go of his hair and levels the whole office with a glare. “I’m very serious about this. I’ll even pay you, like an actual client or whatever. I want Mori destroyed, and if you need something that isn’t in that file,” Chuuya points a gloved finger at the monster-sized folder sitting on Ranpo’s desk, “I will get it to you myself.” Or The random one-shot crack fic where Mori loses Chuuya’s hat and Chuuya is out for blood.

oh darling it's alarming to think of us apart (you know you've got me in your pocket); interludewings - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 20.3k words | chuuya/dazai

summary:

“Okay so if we’re both still single when we’re twenty two,” Dazai’s smile grew even wider. “Let’s marry each other.” By the time Chuuya’s twenty two, he’d probably be in a relationship with someone else, and the possibilities of them even remembering each other were slim to none. And so, Chuuya gave his answer. “Fine, let’s do that.”

In short, fifteen year olds Dazai Osamu and Nakahara Chuuya made a stupid promise one day in their school library out of boredom, which leads to the next seven years of their life filled with fighting, burnt notebooks and late night conversations.

The Curse of Anonymity; SapphireSunstone - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 12.6k words | chuuya/dazai, akutagawa/atsushi, poe/ranpo | READ TAGS

summary:

Someone admits on Yokohama High School Confessions that they're in love with 'the biggest asshole of the year'.

Dazai knows that it's him that this stranger is talking about.

(The Edited and Redrafted version of Anonymous Confessions)

Linger; iskendaris - bungo stray dogs

general audiences | 17.1k words | chuuya/dazai

summary:

Chuuya goes missing. Everyone assumes. Dazai investigates.

One: Everyone in Port Mafia believes that Chuuya is with him. Two: They believe Chuuya has been with him for a month now. Three: Both are patently untrue, therefore Chuuya has been missing for a month.

promise rings & what that means; lesbianhowlpendragon - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 8.4k words | chuuya/dazai, chuuya & yosano, dazai & yosano

summary:

skk get ironic(?) promise rings at 16. six years later, chuuya finds out that dazai still wears his. flustered pining ensues. (they are very dumb but very sweet and in love !)

realizations in a shared hotel room; setosdarkness - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 4.6k words | chuuya/dazai

summary:

“You will stay quarantined here, or so help me, if you die from this fucking virus instead of my own hands, I’m gonna fucking destroy everything, starting with your precious Agency.”

[or, Dazai and Chuuya are on an overseas joint-mission when the virus lockdown hits.]

Tea Parties and Toxins; injeong - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 2.8k words | dazai & kunikida, atsushi & dazai, dazai & ranpo | READ TAGS

summary:

(Not really graphic descriptions of violence, per say, but I put the warning just in case)

One of Dazai's plans to extract some information out of a target goes as planned, except for one small thing.

Regrets; RayvnAshes (IronScript) - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 1.2k words | dazai & kunikida, kunikida & sasaki, kunikida & rokuzou, dazai & oda

summary:

Atsushi asks Tanizaki a simple question, but unfortunately the situation escalates when Kunikida can't help but throw a few scathing remarks in Dazai's direction. They never really did resolve things after the Azure Messenger case, but did they have to do this in the middle of the office?

all the holes we had to breathe; airiena - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 18.2k words | chuuya/dazai | READ TAGS

summary:

“...Are you in a hurry or something?” Chuuya inquires, hand instinctively reaching out to wipe at the corner of Dazai’s mouth, successfully getting rid of the crumbs, before he realizes what he’s doing and freezes.

“Yeah.” Dazai all but breathes. He is golden, when Chuuya takes in his appearance. He is a golden thing, dimmed, beaten, snuffed out, full of scratches but is still so human and so real despite what he always seems to believe that it makes the redhead want nothing but to take him into his arms and hide him from the heavy, heavy world and soothe all his aches and kiss all his scars—

“I’m in a hurry, because I’ve already lost too much time.”

I Won't Leave You (Again); deviance - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 15.9k words | chuuya/dazai, chuuya & dazai, ADA & chuuya, chuuya & kouyou | READ TAGS

summary:

"Executive Kouyou, we've been informed that you are planning a coup."

Before the signal could be given, there was a large explosion and many men were blown from their feet as something like a black hole went tearing through them all. Kouyou could recognize the gravitons of her own pupil; she just wished it hadn't come to this.

The men scattered, but Corruption was beyond anything a human could defeat. Kouyou watched from afar as Chuuya's body cackled while taking down men he'd mostly likely led in missions recently, taken to bars, worried over.

"I hope you're worth it."

Kouyou didn't startle at the voice behind her.

"Isn't that for the lad to decide?"

"You know how this will affect him," Dazai accused her, and she couldn't see a glimpse of the light in his eyes. "He didn't want to be conscious when he fought them."

"Not going to leave him again?"

"There is no leaving him again," Dazai denied.

.....

(Chuuya leaves the PM to save Kouyou, then joins the ADA so he can stay in Yokohama)

(Day 2 of Chuuya Week 2023: Friendship/Family)

Hurt, Heal, Repeat; Mornelithe_falconsbane - bungo stray dogs

not rated | 1.5k words | dazai & fukuzawa, dazai & ranpo

summary:

Dazai doesn't adjust to the Armed Detective Agency immediately.

Waiting Inside The Hollows Of His Bones; StormDew2 - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 5.2k words | dazai & fukuzawa | READ TAGS

summary:

Dazai & Fukuzawa throughout the years as Dazai struggles with mental health and past abuse. Can he trust people again?

Mark; Raven_Rein - bungo stray dogs

general audiences | 2.9k words | chuuya/dazai

summary:

Dazai was afflicted with a curse and the only way to lift it is by kissing the person who loved him the most.

Naturally he took the chance to laugh at everyone's expense.

Get Off My Lawn; that_one_Author - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 11.1k words | chuuya/dazai

summary:

“You let your dog shit in my petunias!” “Not before you insulted him! You called my dog a rat.” “I was only telling the truth, that’s not how a dog’s supposed to look like.” “Baki is a Pomeranian and he is beautiful!”

There is a new hot neighbour right next to Dazai’s house that he really wants to woo since day one. Needless to say, it’s going wonderfully.

Complete

Dial Tones; SapphireSunstone - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 14 chapters, 14k words | chuuya/dazai, kouyou/yosano

summary:

(+8145-xxx-xxxx): Bonjour mademoiselle~

> Je pense que vous avez le mauvais numéro

(+8145-xxx-xxxx): I’m afraid you overestimate my language skills dear

(+8145-xxx-xxxx): But I’m pleased to know you have a skilled tongue

> Oh my god ew

"Ah... I Think We're In What They Call A Hate/Love Relationship."; Insomnia_Productions - bungo stray dogs

general audiences | 5 chapters, 7.9k words | chuuya/dazai

summary:

Chuuya's the fourth person to be assigned as Dazai's roommate this semester, and, unfortunately, he's not allowed to ask for a transfer. So now he's stuck with an annoying, suicidal roommate who seems intent on making his life a living hell.

Well, at least he has his new online friend, No Longer Human, to keep his spirits up.

[Prompt: your otp are roommates who hate each other... but they're also online friends who might be kind of falling in love with each other. What happens when they arrange a blind date?]

Redeemable For Love; Gatteau - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 10 chapters, 39.7k words | chuuya/dazai

summary:

In an attempt to cheer his boyfriend up and take their relationship to new heights of normalcy, Chuuya decides to surprise Dazai with something he's never tried before: a love coupon book.

The Art Of Getting Back At Your Partner: A Guide By Nakahara Chuuya; PurpleJellyFrogs - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 7 chapters, 28k words | chuuya/dazai, ADA & dazai, ADA & chuuya, chuuya & PM, dazai & original character, chuuya & kouyou, dazai & ranpo & yosano | READ TAGS

summary:

“It’s easy, it just ignites the sparks of attraction, it gives people the freedom to have choices even when they’re affected. It starts wearing down after ten days,” the platinum blonde-haired woman explains bluntly. No need to lie to the man, he’d see through it and she has an inkling he would even prefer it less if it was truly ‘all-powerful’ as he put it.

“Have you had any clients in the past ten days?”

“No.”

“Are you planning to have any in the next five to seven days?”

“No? Why?” She looks at the man skeptically, green eyes observing his smirk.

“I want to hire you for a job.” He grins and extends a hand for her to shake.

Dazai thinks it's easy to use an ability to make Chuuya like him. Chuuya thinks it's easy to mess with the bastard by playing pretend.

Magic and Mystery; Allegory_for_Hatred - bsd/harry potter fusion

not rated | 55 chapters, 209k words | READ TAGS

summary:

Dazai is going to Hogwarts—which is crazy because he doesn’t have magic. He has a nullifying ability, for goodness’ sake! Not that it matters. Dazai is still willing to stick around and cause trouble before he gets shipped back home and stuck in his room again.

And this Quirrell guy is definitely up to something. So that’s a good place to start.

Incomplete

so if I survive, then I'll see you tomorrow; prettysicknasty - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 18/? chapters, 94.2k words | chuuya/dazai | READ TAGS

summary:

This was far from the first time Dazai had to spend time in a mental institution. The inpatient facility was more like a second home at this point. He wasn't expecting anything different from usual when he was admitted, but when a fiery redheaded roommate is thrown into his usually dull and monochrome life, suddenly it doesn't seem so boring anymore.

Stray Heroes; ellezahuay - bsd/mha fusion

teen and up | 14/? chapters, 11.3k words

summary:

Reports of sightings of the members of the Villain Alliance have been popping up and causing havoc all over Japan, repeatedly and with the puzzling situation of the same members being spotted in different cities at the same time, and many heroes, including a large number of those in the hero education system, have been called to track them down in groups. Due to particularly dire situation in Yokohama, which is majorly quirkless due to having been quarantined during the first couple generations of quirk users, and relatively defenceless against the threats of the Villain Alliance and illegal organisations such as the Port Mafia combined, a large number of heroes have been sent there to hopefully alleviate the situation.

Without their homeroom teacher as well as a large number of their other teachers absent, it would seem as if 1A is in for a boring few months while the situation is resolved. Thankfully, a certain substitute teacher from the Armed Detective Agency has a couple other plans.

(So much for a dramatic summary. Basically, Aizawa and three others go to Yokohama and work with the ADA while Ranpo goes "substitute" for 1A, but we all know he's there for other reasons.)

#[.grims recs]#[.grims weekly recs]#bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd #fic recs #reclist #bsd fic recs #bungo stray dogs fic recs #bungou stray dogs fic recs #mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mha fic recs #bnha fic recs #my hero academia fic recs #boku no hero academia fic recs

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4acesofspades · 1 year ago

Note

answer every single question on that ask game you reblogged xD

Welp, you asked, so here goes nothing..

(It didn't number right, but the questions are still labeled right)

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?

Spotify

is your room messy or clean?

Pretty clean, sometimes there’s clothes on the floor

what color are your eyes?

Blue

do you like your name? Why?

Not really, it’s way too common

what is your relationship status?

Married

describe your personality in 3 words or less

Old fashioned weirdo

what color hair do you have?

Natural blonde

what kind of car do you drive? Color?

Silver Honda Accord

where do you shop?

Mostly Walmart

how would you describe your style?

Cheap and changes depending on my mood. Sometimes it's sundresses and sometimes it's leather jackets.

favorite social media account

Like type of social media? Or specific account? My favorite type is probably tumblr but I don’t have a specific favorite account

what size bed do you have?

I share a queen with my husband but in my room (yes I also have my own room) I have a twin

any siblings?

One sister

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? Why?

Maybe on the border in the us to help with the refugee crisis

favorite snapchat filter?

I don’t use filters

favorite makeup brand(s)

I couldn’t tell ya. My mother in law buys my makeup.

how many times a week do you shower?

Whenever my hair gets unmanageable

favorite tv show?

Ho boy, Leverage or Emergency! Probably

shoe size?

8.5 women’s

how tall are you?

5 foot, 7 inches

sandals or sneakers?

I have tanline stripes on my feet lol, definitely sandals. But cheap, comfy ones

do you go to the gym?

If I’m actively training for a race, then yeah. Otherwise I hate it.

describe your dream date

On our honeymoon we got to stay in a (supposedly) haunted mansion in New York. It was amazing. Also it would be awesome to like, go through someone’s attic or something?

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

I have a bunch of culver’s coupons?

what color socks are you wearing?

None, I’m wearing sandals :)

how many pillows do you sleep with?

One

do you have a job? what do you do?

Nope, I’ve been looking for 5 months and haven’t found anything in my field, but I would love to work for a nonprofit.

how many friends do you have?

Not many. I have a few acquaintances I met in college, a couple good friends from high school, and some of my husband’s friends that I consider good friends as well

whats the worst thing you have ever done?

Cut my best friend out of my life in order to get rid of another (toxic) relationship. Regret it every single day.

whats your favorite candle scent?

There’s these Fir tree or whatever candles they sell around Christmas that smell just like the holidays and they’re my favorite

3 favorite boy names

Mason

Cameron

Eliot

3 favorite girl names

Eleanora

Rosalind

Kalia (Ka-lee-a)

favorite actor?

I don’t really have one lol. I like the guy that plays Eliot on Leverage, and I like the guy that plays Johnny on Emergency, but I don’t really follow celebrities too much.

favorite actress?

See above

who is your celebrity crush?

Despite my previous statements, I have a massive crush on Cote de Pablo.

favorite movie?

Idk if I could choose just one! Encanto and Moana for disney movies, McFarland, USA and The Outsiders for other movies, National Lampoons Christmas Vacation and

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?

I read quite a bit. I couldn’t possibly choose a favorite book, but the most influential has been The Latehomecomer by Kao Kalia Yang

money or brains?

Brains, always. You can get along without money but not without brains

do you have a nickname? what is it?

My dad calls me flounderlips and squidlips and flapjoint.

how many times have you been to the hospital?

Couple times for migraines.

top 10 favorite songs

Currently? Or of all time? We’re gonna go with currently as the list changes constantly.

Best Bad Habit by Danny Warsnop

Quiet as a Rat by Amigo the Devil

Coat of Many Colors by Dolly Parton

We Didn’t Start the Fire by Billy Joel

Godmanchester Chinese Bridge by The Howl and The Hum

Outlaw Pete by Bruce Springsteen

A Symptom of Being Human by Shinedown

Sometimes on a Sunday by The Glorious Sons

Sing for the Common Man by Dolly Parton

The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald by Gordon Lightfoot

do you take any medications daily?

Yeah I take migraine meds twice a day and vitamins at night

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

Idk, normal? I’ve never really thought about it

what is your biggest fear?

Amounting to nothing, probably. I’m also pretty claustrophobic

how many kids do you want?

whats your go to hair style?

I have curly hair so wash and scrunch. Usually it’s in a ponytail or lazy bun

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

Big old house built in 1925.

who is your role model?

I don’t have a specific role model. I try to pull bits and pieces from all different things in life- favorite authors, people I meet, tv shows, parents, teachers, and friends, etc.

what was the last compliment you received?

My husband told me my novel idea was incredibly original.

what was the last text you sent?

I told my friends I don’t like frosted cookies as much as I used to.

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

1st grade

what is your dream car?

1967 Chevy Impala SS Coupe. I have indeed put much thought and research into this. I would also be interested in a 1967 Shelby Cobra but I’ve never even seen one in person

opinion on smoking?

If you’re going to smoke I’d rather you smoke cigarettes around me than vape. Idk but vaping really gets under my skin.

do you go to college?

Graduated December 2022

what is your dream job?

I want to work for a nonprofit in their immigration department helping immigrants and refugees settle in and work through their transition to America. Would also be interested in someday working as an immigration lawyer

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

Rural. Our town has about 3000 people.

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

I used to but I don’t anymore.

do you have freckles?

do you smile for pictures?

Yes

how many pictures do you have on your phone?

1062

have you ever peed in the woods?

Many times

do you still watch cartoons?

All the time.

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

Never had Wendy’s nuggies and I don’t really like McDonald’s

Favorite dipping sauce?

Fun fact, I don’t like any dipping sauce.

what do you wear to bed?

Shorts and a tshirt

have you ever won a spelling bee?

HA good joke

what are your hobbies?

Writing and music

can you draw?

Not even a little

do you play an instrument?

Flute, clarinet, saxophone, and I’m learning guitar

what was the last concert you saw?

Nothing More last year

tea or coffee?

I like both

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

Neither

do you want to get married?

Been married over 2 years

what is your crush’s first and last initial?

My husband’s name is Daniel ;)

are you going to change your last name when you get married?

Yup, it was a pain in the butt

what color looks best on you?

I like dark red on me

do you miss anyone right now?

Yes, my best friend in high school

do you sleep with your door open or closed?

Door closed, I watch a lot of Emergency and am paranoid of housefires

do you believe in ghosts?

Kind of

what is your biggest pet peeve?

When somebody’s turning left and the person behind them can’t wait 2 SECONDS for them to turn and they speed around them on the shoulder

last person you called`

My daddy

favorite ice cream flavor?

Chocolate

regular oreos or golden oreos?

For knockoffs, golden. For name brand, regular.

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

Rainbow

what shirt are you wearing?

I’m not, I’m wearing a sundress.

what is your phone background?

Nate and Eliot from Leverage being dorks

are you outgoing or shy?

I’m really shy until I get to know people

do you like it when people play with your hair?

Depends on the state of affairs. If it’s already a mess I love it, if I just watched it, you’re risking your life by touching my curls

do you like your neighbors?

Yeah they’re nice.

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

At night

have you ever been high?

Nope

have you ever been drunk?

Nope

last thing you ate?

Salmon

favorite lyrics right now

From Quiet as a Rat by Amigo the Devil: “Time doesn’t respect what doesn’t respect it/ And kind isn’t a word I would use for man/ If everyone’s made in his image and even he couldn’t perfect it/ Then what the hell makes anyone think we can”

summer or winter?

Summer for sure. I live in Wisconsin

day or night?

Day. I like the sun

dark, milk, or white chocolate?

Dark

favorite month?

I like May and June, but also September and October

what is your zodiac sign

Aquarius

who was the last person you cried in front of?

My husband

#ask game #answered asks

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aajjks · 1 year ago

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😂😂😂 alinaaa

BC!JK

“ahaha, i’m just gonna pretend i didn’t hear that and let the two of you talk” his mother laughs “before i knock my son’s head off of his shoulders and use it as a bowling ball”

jihye walks in the opposite direction to talk with the other guests leaving jungkook and soojin alone to talk but jungkook doesn’t even bother conversing with soojin because he clearly isn’t into her.

“i saw you and y/n leave together at the party” she smirks “you two together or something?” but she already knows what’s going on. jihye told both jaehan and soojin everything about you and it’s quite embarrassing to see how down bad jungkook is for you after all these years.

you completely rejected him and soojin takes pride in being the reason that you never gave jungkook a chance and after a little stalking, jungkook has again pushed you away.

she won’t lie, it’s hilarious watching jungkook fail and watching his karma follow him like a dark cloud because he deserved it for stringing her along and treating her like a toy.

“well, i already know the answer and i know you fucked up like always. you deserve whatever bad thing happens to you because you’re selfish and inconsiderate just like your parents. i don’t care to date you just wanted to see your misery up close and it’s a nice view, won’t lie” soojin shrugs before bypassing jungkook and grabbing a glass of wine to refresh herself.

right now, right at this moment, all jungkook wants to do is disappear. soojin might be right. maybe he does deserve the bad things that happens to him because he once again fucked up another chance to be with you and his parents doesn’t love him.

maybe nobody does.

everything becomes white noise when jungkook leaves his parent’s home and gets inside his car to leave whatever event his mother was hosting.

“our son really loves that girl, huh?” she says to jaehan as the married couple watches their son leave their home.

“well maybe if you would quit interfering in the boy’s romantic life he’d be married already”

“so you’re okay with him marrying trash?”

“i don’t care who our son marries. he could marry a wall for all i cared. my only concern is his performance with the company”

“soojin said the girl left him”

“good. she was probably a distraction anyways”

“bad. now the boy’s heart is broken and his primary focus won’t be the company”

“well that’s his fault. he knows the rules”

The next few weeks have gone by a blur his life has been the same actually.

He gets up he goes to work, tries to prove himself to his father every single day, and then comes back to an empty house that is too big for his liking, and the only thing that’s keeping him sane are his pets.

But the thing is that whenever he looks at Sage, he thinks about you- even boxing isn’t really distracting. And he hasn’t heard from you at all.

Soojins words still sting him, she is a bitch, and he doesn’t regret dumping her while he had the chance. He doesn’t want any woman in his life right now.

Not unless that woman is you.

And he cannot help but wonder how your ex has been doing and what he has been up to because he is the reason that you’re not giving jungkook a chance.

He has the urge to go to his house, confront him about breaking your heart and beat him to a pulp but then why should he concern himself with that guy?

You must be happy in your life, after all, you’re always happy whenever you break his heart over and over again. Yes, he realizes his mistake that he was really wrong to kiss you without your consent, especially when you were fresh out of your break up.

And he wishes that he could turn the time back and stop himself from committing that mistake. But he can’t, and he feels so alone, no one has ever loved him in his life.

Everyone has used him for their own gains. Even his parents don’t ask him why he is so depressed, and he drinks himself to death almost every night.

He is still crying sitting alone in his room.. he’s lost you forever, and it sucks to have that realization every single day and night when he doesn’t see you in his home.

Don’t you miss him? Don’t you want to forgive him?

Don’t you want to give him a chance?

#ask: bc!jk #😭😭

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jupitersmoon167 · 3 years ago

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So it’s been a week since I’ve posted my Khonshu/Marc/Steven x Eternal!Reader idea (seen here), and my mind has been wandering, crafting scenarios surrounding this idea. And I thought, why not share? Especially since a lot of people seem to like this idea.

I would like to note once again that these ideas are free for anyone to write about, I’m not planning on writing anything about this (at the moment at least), so if anyone wants to write a Moon Knight fanfic involving an Eternal!Reader, go ahead! I highly encourage it!

Moving on to my additional thoughts:

So after the reader reveals herself to Marc/Steven (how does Jake factor into this I’m just realizing?) after the deviant attack, and when she reveals her purpose for being on Earth and her past relationship with Khonshu, how would the Moon boys react?

I’d imagine they’d both be angry, Marc more so than Steven (at least in my mind). They’d question whether or not their relationship with the reader was genuine, or if they were just being used as a means to see Khonshu? And there’s the fact that she isn’t from Earth, and that she’s a being more than 7,000 years old sent by some cosmic power to protect humanity and helped shape the history of the planet, while at the same time not interfering with the atrocities committed by humans. So I’d imagine they’d be quite angry with the reader. She of course tries to explain this to them, but a fight breaks out (the Moon boys aren’t as understanding as Dane), and harsh words are thrown at the reader (by Marc, Steven is mostly quiet).

And then she has to go.

“Marc, Steven, I need to take care of this.”

Marc laughs humorlessly. “Of course you do.”

“Marc-” she sighs.

“No, you know what? Go. Take care of your ‘mission’, or whatever the hell it is that you were sent here to do, and leave.”

“……I’ll let you know when I’m done.”

“No, do both me and Steven a favor and never talk to us again.”

So the reader goes with Sersi, Sprite, and Ikaris to find the others. And as they progress along, she calls them when she can (they never pick up the phone) and leaves messages telling them about her journey.

“Hey, just landed in the States. We’re headed to Ajak’s place, I’ll call you when we get to her house.”

“Hey, um, so we got to Ajak’s. She……got attacked by a deviant and is…………Anyway, we’re flying back out again, probably going to find Kingo. Let me know if you get this, we’re in the middle of nowhere in South Dakota, so I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m not getting any service.”

“So, I’m realizing that you’re both probably ignoring me. Which is totally fair, believe me. I should’ve told you guys the truth from the start, and I regret not doing that. But regardless, I’m going to keep sending you updates. Though you’re most likely not going to listen to them anyway. We’re heading to Australia to get Gilgamesh and Thena. I’ll be sure to update you on our progress soon…….I miss you, both of you.”

“Hey, sorry I haven’t called in a bit, things have been…..hectic. A lot of bombshells have been dropped and things just got much more complicated. I don’t want to bore you with the details, I’ll uh….tell you both all about it when I come back. Hey uh, when’s the last time you called you’re dad?”

“Screw the theatrics, I don’t even know if you’re even going to get this. We’re in the middle of the god damn Amazon, because Druig thought it would be a grand fucking idea to place his cult here of all places. He’s a stubborn bastard, but if we’re gonna pull this off we need him. I meant it earlier when I said you should talk to your dad, you uh, never know when he’ll kick the bucket, so to speak. I miss you guys, I wish I could talk-”

“We were attacked by deviants, Gilgamesh is dead……..he died protecting Thena. I’ve lost two of my family members in the span of a few days, and my friend is giving me the silent treatment. Are we even friends anymore? I know you said not to talk to you guys again, but frankly, I don’t know what I would do without you two.”

“……..I think this might be the last time I call you. I get it, I’ll stop contacting you. I just……I guess I was hoping that we could put this behind us and move on. But that’s obviously not gonna happen, is it? And frankly, I don’t blame you guys for ignoring me, you both have every right to hate and despise me. Just……yeah. Have a good life you two.”

“I know I said you wouldn’t hear from me ever again, but I just have to say this before the world is inevitably blown apart by a newborn celestial. I love you both, so so much. I just wish I got to tell you that in person, and not over the phone when I’m heading towards a live volcano to put a celestial to sleep. Regardless, I just wanted to let you two know. I’ll see you when this is all over, that is if you even want to see me. And if we don’t fail, and Ikaris doesn’t kill us. I probably should’ve mentioned that previously-”

It’s past 5am when I’m writing this, and I’m shit at writing dialogue (especially about feelings), but I just wanted to get this out before I fell asleep. If some of what I’ve described isn’t coherent, let me know, and I’ll discuss it further in length when I’ve gotten some shuteye 😂

I also wanted to add this kicker. I’d imagine it’s when Marc/Steven try to call the reader after (finally) hearing all the messages she left (it only took until they saw the Celestial emerge from the ocean on tv to hear them), only to get hit with this when they try to call her.

“We’re sorry, you have reached a number that is disconnected or that is no longer in service…..”

So…..do with that as you will 😈

Once again, anyone is free to write anything regarding what I’ve given out. As long as I get a shoutout, I’m content with anyone taking what I’ve said and writing their own story.

#moon knight #eternals #moon knight x reader #eternals x reader #marc spector x reader #steven grant x reader #khonshu x reader #marvel cinematic universe #my thoughts

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seokjinsonlyone · 4 years ago

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this is how i think it’d go if you went to visit bts at work and gave them a little peck on the lips

namjoon:

you’d probably walk into his studio and he’d be at his desk headphones in playing back some beat or revising some lyrics

you’d come up behind him and wrap your arms around his neck effectively stealing his attention away from the track

and that’s when you’d place a nice little peck on his lips

but that wouldn’t be enough for him so before you could even fully break apart he’d already be chasing your lips

he’d roll his chair around to properly face you placing one hand at the back of your neck bringing you back to him immediately slipping his tongue in your mouth

what once was a cute little greeting turned into a sensual experience as he gently massaged your tongue with his

and when he felt like he had his fill of you for the time being he pulled back, smiling, dimples on full display and said “hey, baby.”

the depth of his voice would send shivers down your spine and you would settle into his lap wrapping your arms around his neck picking up where he left off just bc he was done didn’t mean you were

seokjin:

you’d probably end up at hybe headquarters after seokjin called you when he was done with his day to get dinner together

you’d call him to let him know you’re outside and within a minute he’d be in your car

you’d lean over the center console to give him a peck to which he’d immediately complain

“woooowww i’ve been at work all day and that’s all i get”

you’d swallow down the urge to tell him that he not the only one that work in favor of rolling your eyes and pressing your lips to his again for a little longer

that wouldn’t be enough for him though “just one more,” he’d request.

“one more.”

he knew that asking for a kiss from you was a dangerous game

could feel it in the way he melted against you

could tell by the way he seriously thought about giving you one of his rolex watches you jokingly said you’d steal and sell

or one of his cars you said you’d steal and sell

thought about giving you the world just for one more kiss

yoongi:

with yoongi you’d probably enter his studio (he’s always in the studio) with the code he gave you

which the fact that you were the only one other than himself that had the code did inexplicable things to your heart you couldn’t really delve into without feeling like you were gonna explode

anyway you’d walk in the room and he already knew it was you like you said you were the only other one who could freely enter and he’d be at his monitor doing whatever producers do

“hey just gimme one sec”

and you knew how that one went sometimes it was actually just a few seconds sometimes it was a few hours until you had his attention but you didn’t mind you ain’t have anything else to do just wanted some company

you didn’t wanna disturb him too much but you couldn’t help yourself so you walked to him turned his head to face you and quickly kissed him before recoiling to the couch a few feet away

10-15 minutes later he was summoning you over to him, pulling you into his lap, and using his thumb and index finger to trap your chin bringing your lips back to his for a proper kiss

you sighed contentedly afterwards laying your head on top of his as he wrapped his arms around your waist, showing you what he was working on

hoseok:

hobi was usually a super organized person liked for everything to have a place and everything to be in that place

but you were his little chaos and organization was definitely not his top priority when he was with you taking second place to soaking up every ounce of your presence in whichever way you would allow him

so really it was no surprise when he texted you asking if you’d seen his little notebook where he wrote his lyrics and whatever other ideas or thoughts popped into his head

it took a bit of searching to find but you had it and he was very fortunate you liked him it was the only reason you were willing to drop it off before work

you made sure to let him know he was the reason you looked ugly today the trip to his office severely cutting your usual routine and he made sure to let you know that a) you were beautiful no matter what and b) he would make it up to you

it was only your second time at the new building your first time was when he invited you along for their first look at the hybe insight museum so it was safe to say you had absolutely no idea where you were going despite the detailed instructions one of the staff gave you upon entry if you hadn’t run into taehyun you probably would’ve been running around that building for another hour

you were thoroughly unamused with the situation but hobi looked so cute and sheepish when you entered the practice room wrapping his arms around you immediately alternating between expressing his gratitude and regretfulness that you couldn’t help but press a small kiss to his mouth

an action you instantly regretted bc a) it caused him to start pressing kisses all over your face in return b) it caused an eruption of various forms of shouting from the six other boys you failed to notice upon entry

you pushed at his chest as heat flooded your body from embarrassment preparing to leave you were going to be late for work “be good” you told him personally before shouting “have fun!” at the other members

jimin:

your days off hardly coincided with jimin’s days off mostly bc he never really had days off always had to go in for one thing or another

but his days weren’t always jam packed some days like today he had a meeting in the morning and a meeting in the evening and not much else to do besides that

and he was the absolute worst at entertaining himself always needed to find someone else’s business to get into and as the object of his affection you were always his first choice

he tried not to bother you too much when you were busy though no matter how clingy he was and he was awfully clingy

if you two weren’t able to be joined at the hip in your free time you were definitely on the phone and if he wasn’t the object of your affection as well you would’ve started ignoring him a long time ago as it stands he was the best company

anyway he knew you were off today and had no plans other than finding a new anime to start so naturally when he found himself bored out of his mind he was in your ear purring down the line for you to come to him

it didn’t take too much convincing your attention span wasn’t on your side so you couldn’t really get into anything and even though you literally saw jimin yesterday you missed him :\

it’s why you didn’t hesitate to land a peck on his lips upon meeting him again and latching onto his arm firmly as he led you to one of the small practice rooms they had

“so tell me about your day”

you looked him over suspiciously he had that mischievous glint in his eye so you knew he was up to something

and you were right you weren’t more than two sentences in to your answer before he was pressing his lips to yours in a long lingering kiss

“i’m sorry continue”

“um...” your attention span really wasn’t with you and it was hard to retrace your train of thought with your lips tingling and the hairs on the back of your neck raised

you eventually found your mental footing and continued speaking about your day which had more or less turned into you ranting about haikyuu when again mid sentence he captured your lips between his own one hand tracing up and down your spine while the other held your head into place so he could lick into your mouth just the way he liked

“go on” he panted slightly breathless once you finally broke apart

“jimin...” you whined

he giggled at his own antics loved riling you up found it so cute how you couldn’t even try to keep the dreamy look off your face “you like me so much don’t you?” he asked with a self assured grin etched onto his face

you did

taehyung:

sometimes he felt so sorry to you hated cancelling on you because something came up or another thing ran over time

you were always cool with it tho never made a huge fuss of it which he was forever grateful for bc he really did love his job

but he really loved you too

he had to cancel three separate times just this week alone and he was missing you something bad

and even though he really wanted to take you out and do something nice for you like you deserved at this point he just wanted to see you

missed seeing you in person and having you in his arms

that’s how you found yourself on a bench tucked into a quiet corner of the upper garden at a table chairs side by side his hands toying with yours as you caught him up on your week so far

he was kinda obsessed with you and you loved it because having his undivided attention felt so so good

so you couldn’t help but close the gap, briefly pressing your lips to his

the slight blush that took over his cheeks had an insane amount of serotonin flooding your brain you loved him so much

even more so when he surpassed his bout of shyness and unabashedly brought you closer to him and attempted to make up for a week’s worth of lost kisses

jungkook:

sometimes life got busy for the both of you and even though you meant to meet up it just didn’t happen

but once you finished your work week you made it your mission to see him as soon as possible

you’d texted him when you got off and he told you he was finishing vocal practice then going to workout which left you with enough time to stop home and freshen up before he was done

as expected his trainer told you he was in the shower when you popped up so you decided to wait in the hallway for him to come out

“heeeeey what are you doing here”

you looked up from your phone to see your slightly damp very buff boyfriend grinning down at you

almost instantly you were hugging him arms wrapped around his waist before pulling back slightly pecking him on the lips

which set something off inside jungkook a shock ran down his body just from the feeling of your lips pressed against his

“let’s hang out” you agreed immediately “i just need to grab something from my studio first”

he laced your hands together dragging you alongside him and as soon as you entered the room he had you pinned against the door hands on your hips kissing you with far greater ferocity than you could have anticipated

and it’s like jungkook knew he missed you but he didn’t realize just how much until he had you in his arms your lips on his

kissing you felt like home and his introverted self never wanted to leave the house couldn’t even help the groan that escaped the back of his throat as you took control of the kiss and made a mental note to remember to never deprive himself of this pleasure again

one of his hands slid down your thigh lifting your leg until you got the hint to wrap both of them around his waist allowing him to show off his strength and grope you at the same time

“jk,” you said breathlessly, breaking the kiss

his lips were chasing yours the second you broke contact he didn’t care about breathing when a fire was spreading through his body

you indulged him for a few more seconds before breaking apart again

this time his lips traveled down your neck kissing and sucking until you were making the prettiest sounds for him

you felt like you were going to explode his hands were squeezing your butt and his lips were on your neck and you were going to explode

“jk...” you whined again tugging lightly at the hair on the nape of his neck

he made his way back up your neck pressing a hard kiss on your cheek before gently nudging your nose with his “hmmm?”

and suddenly you were staring directly into his eyes big and pretty and filled with stars shining just for you

you were going to explode “let’s get out of here”

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cable-knit-sweater · 3 years ago

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Thinking of You

(yes I’m aware, I have zero creativity title wise, I’m sorry, I promise to do better next time 😂)

Pairing: Chris Evans x Sebastian Stan (Evanstan)

Word count: 2.4k (rated G)

Notes: Sebastian’s on the set of A Different Man, when he sees Chris’s interview. Yes, the one in which he talks about being laser focused on finding a partner. He can’t stop thinking about it, what it means, what wasn’t meant to be. Then Chris texts him about his new project, and instead of texting back, Sebastian decides to pick up the phone & call him instead… A disgustingly sweet fic like you should be used to by now from me 😂

Read on Ao3 or below

He’s sitting in his trailer with an iced latte, trying to find a way to relax a little, trying to get away from the blistering heat in between scene set ups. It’s only the second week, but Sebastian is enjoying working in New York, being home for a job, even if the hot weather is making it a little rough. He’s used to much worse, he thinks, long days in the oppressive Atlanta heat with a metal arm and the winter soldier uniform coming to mind. He stops those thoughts there, or at least tries to. He doesn’t want to let everything else that shooting in Atlanta came with, or actually, who else that came with, take over his mind too much. Especially not when he’s working and needs to stay focused.

He picks up his phone, just answers a few quick texts and opens Instagram to mindlessly scroll for a little bit. He stops when he sees a photo of Chris, what must have been on set for The Gray Man. He’s laughing in the photo, eyes closed, arm reached out and hand leaning on his co-star’s shoulder. Sebastian can practically hear that laugh, the booming sound of it. He used to live for being the one to make him laugh like that, and it would always make him smile in return. He doesn’t know how anyone could not, really. It’s his favorite sound in the world. Or maybe his second, after the way Chris used to say his name, the soft way he’d call him Seb, all the time, even if he was really talking about Bucky.

He misses him so damn much. It’s partly his fault that they don’t talk much anymore, save for the few texts on birthdays or for big life events. Chris had texted him to congratulate him on his Emmy nomination last week, and it had been so sweet and genuine, just… so very Chris. But Sebastian still hasn’t responded to it, not knowing what to say. He’s worried he’s gonna say the wrong thing, not sound as grateful as he’d felt when he’d read the text or maybe worse, sounding too eager and let all his feelings spill over into what really should be a simple message.

It’s different now, knowing there’s not gonna be a project for them to do together right around the corner. He doesn’t know how to interact with Chris anymore really, not now that boundary of having to stay professional because they’re working together doesn’t exist anymore. It had been the only thing that stopped him before. The one thing he kept telling himself when he was so close to just, blurting out how he felt about Chris. So now, he doesn’t know what to do or say. So he just keeps his distance.

But these past few weeks have been rough, because really, Chris is everywhere. Promoting two movies back to back makes it impossible to avoid any of those thoughts, the way he longs for him, wishes things had been different. He stares at the photo for a long time. Then he does something he’ll probably regret, and clicks the tab of “tagged” photos.

He tells himself it won’t do any harm, it’s just to see how people are reacting to his projects, see what Chris looks like doing all this press. If he doesn’t look too tired or anxious. Because Sebastian knows all too well how difficult Chris finds doing interview after interview and being up on stage, scrutinized and being asked the same questions over and over again that usually reduce his hard work to whatever works as click-bait.

He scrolls through the tagged post and almost feels overwhelmed. Chris looks so confident in all of them, his clothing only adding to it - making it worse. He looks absolutely amazing, tattoos peeking out of colorful shirts that shouldn’t work for anyone, but look like a dream on Chris. Sebastian almost wants to click out of the app when he sees it. It’s a Buzzfeed post, a photo of Chris in a blue suit and written across it is ‘Attention: Chris Evans is “laser focused on finding a partner”’. He swallows. He knows he shouldn’t. But he clicks the post anyway.

“It’s about trying to find someone that you're looking to spend your life with", the photo is captioned with. Sebastian closes his eyes. Oh what he wouldn’t give to be that person. For that to even be a possibility. He chuckles self-deprecatingly. Of course he isn’t going to be that person. And he’s hardly the only person in the world that wishes it could be them Chris would want to spend his life with.

Against his better judgement, and knowing the aching feelings in his heart this will cause him, hearing Chris’s voice, seeing him talk about a topic like this in particular, Sebastian goes to find the interview. He breathes in deep before pressing play.

When it’s done playing, there are tears in his eyes. Chris looked like he was doubting himself, whether he should share something like this or not, the struggle clear on his face. His voice so soft and genuine, the bravery in opening up like this, even if he must know most people won’t take a moment to really think about how hard it must be to share something so personal…Sebastian isn’t even thinking about himself anymore, what he had wanted for himself, he just wants all of that for Chris, no matter who it’s with.

Chris has the biggest heart, so much love to give, and he’s clearly aching to find a person he can have that with, a person he can have a real partnership with. Sebastian wants that for him. Even if it breaks his heart into little pieces to see him have that with someone else. If anyone deserves it it’s Chris. He can’t believe there isn’t anyone that has been able to be that for him, no one that’s really seen him for all that he is, has been able to give him that. He watches the video again, looks at Chris’s tired eyes. He tries not to think about the fact that Chris keeps repeating the word partner, doesn’t ever say wife or woman. He knows better than that. It doesn’t mean anything.

Someone knocks on his trailer door and he knows he needs to take a second to recollect himself, somehow find a way to focus on the job and not thoughts of Chris, feelings of heartache and jealousy and desperate want. He doesn’t think he’s all that successful. But at the end of the day people clap him on his shoulder for a job well done, and he still goes home with all of those thoughts running through his mind, almost blurring the rest of the world around him.

When he gets home, he takes a quick shower before dropping down on the couch with some take out. He’s only taken one bite when his phone buzzes. He glances at the text, thinking he’ll answer it later, but then he sees the name lighting up the screen. Chris.

He lets his fork clatter to the ground, salad dressing getting on his clothes and the couch, but he pays it no mind. He picks up his phone and opens the text.

Chris: “Saw some of those photos of your new project! Looks amazing, although I feel like your character has some very interest clothing choices… all looks pretty familiar to me 😉”, it reads.

He stares at the text for a couple of minutes, his breathing speeding up. Why is Chris looking at photos of him on set? Where did he even find them? Sebastian hasn’t shared any himself apart from the one on the steps - and that one certainly didn’t have him in the clothes he knows Chris is referring to. It gives him feelings of hope he knows are ridiculous. Thinking that maybe Chris misses him too, and checks up on him even if they don’t check in with each other. Before he even knows what he’s doing, he’s pressed the call button.

“Seb? I mean, hi! Are you really calling me to say you’re not stealing some outfit choices from me?”, Chris’s voice sounds, soft and amused, tinged with fondness. Sebastian thinks he can’t breathe. “Seb? Are you there?, Chris says after a couple of seconds have passed, shocking Sebastian out of his frozen state.

He still doesn’t know what to say, but he’s the one that called Chris, and he’s been silent for too long. “Oh hey, yeah hi, I’m here. And no I’m not calling for that”, he chuckles, “I just wanted to call you and thank you for your message about the Emmy’s earlier, I can’t believe I didn’t do that yet. That was so nice of you, honestly, you didn’t need to do that.”

It’s silent on the other side of the line for a little. “Of course I did, are you kidding me? You deserve this so much Seb, I’m so glad people are seeing what I’ve been seeing all along, how wonderful you are and how great an actor you are. You deserve all of it”, Chris says, sounding almost reverent and a little like he can’t believe Sebastian doesn’t see that.

“Well uhhm, I- thank you, I’m not sure about that but yeah, that’s…yeah thank you Chris.”, he manages to stumble out, trying to not think to much about how Chris thinks he’s wonderful.

He hears Chris sigh. “Of course you do, I’m definitely sure about that. Please, just, believe me, you do.”

Sebastian can’t help but chuckle, just able to imagine the face must be pulling right now, both fond and a little exasperated. “Okay okay, thank you, I won’t doubt myself again”.

He can hear the smile on Chris’s face when he says “Good. You shouldn’t.”

Neither of them speaks for a moment, and it’s almost awkward. Sebastian hates it, he doesn’t ever want things to be awkward between them, even if he knows he’s to blame for most of it.

“I’ve been…”, he starts off haltingly, “I’ve seen some of the press you’ve been doing for your movie. You look- it sounds great, can’t wait to see it.” God, if he could sink through his couch all the way through the floor to let it swallow him whole right about now, he’d be so grateful.

“Oh. Thanks.”, Chris says, and then he’s quiet again. But before Sebastian can speak up again, make up for the fact that he’s made it even more awkward, Chris continues. “How-which interviews exactly have you seen?”, Chris asks, and Sebastian would almost think he sounds nervous, even if he couldn’t think of a reason why he would be.

“Oh just a couple”, he says, trying for casual and knowing he’s probably failing, “don’t really know which particular outlets.”

He hears Chris take a deep breath. When he speaks up again, Sebastian almost can’t believe how quiet and - now undeniably - nervous he sounds. “So you’ve seen it. I…I shouldn’t have said it really, I just thought I was being genuine and it’s become this whole thing and I’m… I don’t know what to do really.”

Sebastian feels his heart start to beat rapidly, how he’s starting to feel tense all over. He can’t ignore this, he has to respond to this, can’t just leave Chris hanging when he’s clearly upset about it. He just doesn’t know how.

“I…you were being genuine”, he whispers eventually, “it was…it’s so brave, being this open and vulnerable. And I…” he swallows and decides to just go for it. “Chris, I just want you to know…I want you to know I hope you find that find that person, because you deserve that. You deserve it so much.”

He knows his voice breaks on that last part, that he can’t pretend it didn’t, that this doesn’t mean anything to him. He just hopes Chris can let it slide, takes it as him just trying to be good friend. He closes his eyes and waits for the worst, for it to become awkward and for Chris to think he’s being weird and laughing about it, even if he knows better than to expect that.

After the longest couple of seconds of silence in Sebastian’s life, Chris finally speaks again. “I… Seb…you-”, he trails off, breathes in deep again, and Sebastian hears a frustrated noise coming over the line. “You know what, I… I’m getting older, I’m 41 now, I can’t just keep thinking of the things that could go wrong, the what ifs, how people would look at me. How you would look at me, if I’m getting this all wrong, as much as it would hurt me, you know? I just can’t live like that anymore, with the not knowing. It’s too much Seb, just too much”

Sebastian thinks he’s lost the ability to breathe completely, let alone the ability to speak, but he still gets out the words: “what- what are you saying?”, even if it’s almost on an inaudible whisper.

“I’m saying that…fuck. I’m saying that I think I already found that person, that I’ve been too scared to even consider it, to even mention it, let alone pursue it. That I’m so over it. I can’t…”

Sebastian’s heart drops to his stomach. He doesn’t want to let go of the small kernel of hope that had been blooming inside him just a minute ago, but… Chris is saying he’s found that person already, and it can’t be him. He feels so stupid for even thinking that, how could he be so-

“I can’t keep it to myself anymore, wonder about the what ifs”, Chris continues, “and maybe you’ll hate me for it, maybe you never want to speak to me again, but I’m just hoping…I’m hoping you feel the same. That I’ve not just been imagining this all this time. Because it’s you Seb. It has always been you.”

He feels frozen, completely in shock, until he hears his name in Chris’s worried voice. Tears start running down his face.

“Please Seb, say something, anything, I…”, Chris continues, but Sebastian manages to get himself together enough to respond, because that’s what Chris deserves. He deserves everything, and Sebastian feels like he’s flying, feels so light and happy and overcome knowing he might get the chance to give him some of that, any of that.

“It’s always been you for me too”, he says, smiling so brightly through the tears, he thinks, he hopes, Chris must feel it through the phone. He thinks he does, by the soft, awed whispered “Seb” he gets in response.

#evanstan #rpf #maya tries to write

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xoxo-teddybear · 4 years ago

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Nothing But a Bet - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: Angst, cursing, sexual mentions

Summary: Bakugou and his friends were just joking around! Nobody expected Bakugou to fall in love! But what’ll happen when Y/N finds out she started off as nothing but a piece of a game to her boyfriend.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Pt.1 Pt.2

It wasn’t supposed to be this way, but Bakugou sure is glad with the way things turned out.

About 11 months ago, Bakugou, Kaminari, Kirishima, and Sero were messing around. The boys were making bets but once Kaminari had gone too far on the one he offered Bakugou, Kirishima called it quits and decided to back out of their little game.

Kaminari had dared Bakugou to ask out new girl on a date, be with her for a week, and not fall in love. Seemed like a simple bet. Y/N L/N, the new student, was very pretty. She was an incredible fighter but Bakugou didn’t know her enough to even call her a friend yet. All he had to do was date her for a week and not catch feelings? Seemed simple enough. And besides, if he won he would be getting Denki as a personal assistant for a month, getting him anything he wants. Bakugou was in.

The bet was simple. So simple! So how could Bakugou have failed? He couldn’t help it. Y/N was just so...perfect. She was kind and compassionate, but she also had poison on her tongue and always stood her ground. She was strong and gorgeous, and she was patient and always listened to Katsuki to help him with whatever. Throughout the first week, she was always there for Katsuki and even though she didn’t always give him what he wanted, she gave him what he needed, and that’s when he realized he needed her.

So after the first week of Bakugou and Y/N together as a couple came another..and another...and another..and another. Weeks turned to months and those months turned into almost a whole year. The couple has been dating for 11 months and was waiting for their 1 year anniversary to come right around the corner.

Bakugou was completely whipped for Y/N. He waited on her, hand and foot, and treated her like the queen she is. He loved her with his entire being and just being around the girl made him a better, happier person. He went through all the steps in a young relationship with Y/N. They were each other’s first love, first kiss, first date, first everything! Even their first time! Yup, Bakugou and Y/N had both lost their v-cards to each other and it was a night Bakugou would never forget.

And now here we are! The day of their anniversary! Y/N and Bakugou woke up in each other’s arms in Bakugou’s dorm room.

“Good morning Suki,” Y/N said with love laced in her voice. Bakugou was awake but kept his eyes shut as he pressed his forehead to Y/N’s temple and just smiled.

“G’morning Princess,” he then pecked her cheek, “happy one year,” he softly said. He pulled you in closer and you giggled at his sleepy state. You both shared a quick peck and Bakugou finally opened his eyes to stare at his beautiful princess.

“So! What’re we gonna do today?” Y/N asked with glee. As Bakugou opened his mouth to answer, his phone rang and you both looked towards it. Bakugou growled and rolled his eyes as he reached for his phone to answer. He sighed before he spoke.

“Hello?......what?! .....ugh, today of all days?” He said and looked towards Y/N with sad eyes, “C’mon! I got plans for today....no I know but-....*sigh* fine. I’ll be there in an hour.” He hung up the phone and tossed it to his night stand and he frustratingly tucked his head in Y/N’s neck and growled.

“Sooo....plans are canceled?” You said with a little hint of disappointment. Bakugou looked at you with a regretful eyes as he softly spoke.

“I’m sorry Princess, Aizawa’s calling me and Kirishima in for extra training. He planned this months ago and I told him not to put me on for today but I guess he forgot. If I don’t go in today then I don’t get to go in at all and it puts me behind. I’m sorry Y/N,” he said apologetically.

“Hey, don’t sweat it, Love. I get it, and it’s fine. We’re hero trainees, we gotta be at our best,” you said with a smile. Bakugou smiled at your grin and was thankful he had someone as understanding as you. “What time should you be back?”

“Uhh, probably around 9 tonight,” he sadly said.

“Oh wow...that’s a long time,” you said with a little sadness.

“Yeah I know, and I’m sorry, but I promise I’ll make it up to you!” Bakugou said. He felt so bad for missing your anniversary but he had to do what he had to do.

“It’s fine Suki. You said you’d be back at 9, so that’s when we’ll celebrate.” You offered.

“Baby, the dorm’s curfew is 10. What’re we gonna do for an hour outside?” He asked.

“Who said we had to leave the dorms to celebrate our anniversary? I could set something up here in one of our rooms and when you get back, we can celebrate. Just you and me, all night.” Bakugou smiled at his creative girlfriend. He was so blessed. He held you closer and covered your face in kisses as you giggled away. He loves the sound of your laugh and voice and craves to hear it all the time.

“Okay then, but I still want to make it up to you,” Bakugou bargained. Y/N only smiled and rolled her eyes at her stubborn boyfriend.

“Fine. I’m not complaining,” you laughed and Bakugou followed. He kissed you one last time before he got up and got ready. You stayed in his bed a bit longer and waited till he got out of his shower to leave to your own dorm to get ready. You both couldn’t wait for tonight!

*Timeskip*

It’s was 8:30 and Bakugou would be back soon and you both agreed to have your celebration in your room so that when Bakugou gets back, he can get ready. You set up your room perfectly. A table in the middle, a few candles, a few roses. Petals scattering the floor and his anniversary gift on your bed. You spent all day in the dormitory kitchen making spicy gyoza, seaweed salad, miso soup, and a variety of sushi. The room looked amazing and so did you! Your makeup was top notch and you wore a gorgeous maroon red dress that hugged your body. It was tightly hanging off your shoulders and the length went down to your upper thigh. You wore a skinny black choker and a gold necklace. You finished off your look with black strappy heels. It was a little chilly so you opted for a black leather jacket and honestly it pulled the whole look together.

You sat on your bed as you waited for Katsuki to come back but decided it was time to set the table. You brought the food and utensils, the plates and cups, and went back to get a pitcher of ice water. As you returned and placed the pitcher on the table, you went to close the door but heard Kaminari and Sero down the hall.

“Can you believe Bakugou and Y/N lasted this long?” Sero said. You got curious as to why they were randomly speaking of you both and listened in.

“I know right! It’s their one year today and they have me to thank for it!” Kaminari said in a boastful voice. “It was all thanks to my bet that Kacchan even asked her out in the first place.”

Your eyes went wide as you continued to listen. “What?” You whispered to yourself.

“True. And to think it all started out as a bet.” The boys laughed and joked around as they said they were happy for their friend but you shut the door and pressed your body against it. You covered your mouth with your hand to muffle your sobs and let the tears fall to the ground.

“I’m nothing but a bet.”

—

Minutes passed and Bakugou texted you that he was in his dorm getting ready. You didn’t reply. You fixed your makeup to look a little normal but nothing could hide the fury and heartache in your eyes. You waited a few for Katsuki to walk through the doors and the time finally arrived

“Happy anniversary babe!” Bakugou said as he walked through the doors. He was holding his gift for you and was wearing a maroon red button up that matched your dress. He rolled up the sleeves and unbutton the top. He wore a silver chain with black jeans and black boots. He put on his watch and you weren’t gonna lie, he looked insanely handsome, but that wasn’t gonna stop you from doing what you had to.

“You look hot,” he said as he smirked and looked you up and down. You stood and gave a quick smile before letting it drop once more but Katsuki didn’t notice. As you kept your gaze to the now very interesting ground, Katsuki made his way over to you. He stood very close and he attempted to wrap his arms around your waist and pull you in for a kiss but you placed your hands on his chest to stop him. “Uh? Baby? What’s wrong?” He nervously laughed out.

“....Bakugou we need to talk,” you calmly said but held back all the anger and sadness you were feeling. You pushed Bakugou back a little and he placed the gift down on the table. He looked at you with a confused face before he spoke.

“Bakugou? Baby, it’s Katsuki. Suki? Your Suki. Are you alright?” He asked with a worried voice. You laughed at his confusion. He really didn’t get it. He really didn’t understand that this was the end for you both. An uncomfortable silence rang through the room and you bit your lip in nervousness before you spoke.

“.....How could you?....I gave you my everything and it was all a lie! You were my first everything Katsuki! My first kiss, my first love. ...Oh my god I can’t believe I actually slept with you!” You said with a soft broken voice as your arms held your body and you looked towards the ground in regret. Bakugou was confused but seeing your sad form made him so upset. And hearing that you regret the times you both made love to each other broke him. He was worried for you and he ran to you to give you a hug but you pushed him away again.

“Baby-“

“Stop calling me that!”

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

You finally snapped your eyes up to face his as you looked at him with angry eyes and pools of tears as they streamed down your face.

“I’m nothing but a bet to you!” You screamed. Bakugou’s face went into shock as his eyes went wide and an open frown appeared on his face. You found out. You fucking found out but who the hell told you. Who the fuck ruined his perfect relationship?!

“Who-...who told you?” He asked with an angry, sad, shaken voice. You rolled your eyes as you noticed that after what you told him, that was what he was worried about.

“Does it matter?! Is it true or not?! ....did you really use me for a bet?” You asked with a broken heart. Bakugou bit his lip as he contemplated lying to you and moving on from this to keep his relationship, or telling you the truth in hopes that his understanding girlfriend would understand and stay with him. Both options were risky but he went for the latter.

“Yes..it’s true. You started off as a bet,” Bakugou watched as you looked around and threw your arms, shrugged your shoulders, and let them drop again. Your body just screamed “I knew it,” as he watched you with fear but continued. “But that doesn’t mean what I feel for you isn’t real!”

“How am I supposed to trust that?!” You screamed.

“Please! Please just trust me! Y/N I love you! I do, I swear! I was an idiot to place that bet but I didn’t expect myself to actually fall in love with you!�� Bakugou heard what he said and cringed as he realized he basically just said he didn’t think it would be possible for him to fall in love with you. You looked at him in offense and hurt as he quickly spoke up again. “No, no, no, no! I didn’t mean it like tha-“

“Bakugou! Stop......just get out.” You calmly said but Bakugou felt his heart shattering.

“W-what? Y/N you can’t be serious. ...Can we at least talk about this first, please!” Bakugou said as he tried to grab your hand but you quickly yanked it out of his reach.

“No! Bakugou-“

“It’s Katsuki!”

“We’re done!” And there it was. Bakugou’s felt his entire world crumbling as his tears flowed down his face like twin rivers.

“P-please! You can’t do this!” Bakugou screamed as he ran to you and wrapped you in his arms. He let his head fall into your neck but you pushed at him and demanded he let you go. “Please don’t leave me! Please! I’m s-sorry! I can make it up to you, I promise just don’t leave!”

“Bakugou, let me go!” You said as your own tears fell and you pushed at his chest. Each time you got closer to getting him off, his hold tightened and he pulled you closer.

“No! Y/N please don’t do this to us!” He begged.

“Bakugou there is no ‘us’ anymore so let me go!” You demanded.

“Please! There’s nothing I can say to fix it! You started out as part of a bet, I’ll admit it, but I ended up falling in love with you, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done! I spent a year of my life with you and I wanna spend so much more! Please! You can’t leave me!” Another silence came upon the room. You stopped fighting due to exhaustion and Bakugou just continued to cry in your neck as he continued to hold you tight. His pleas and cried fell upon deaf ears as you already made up your mind.

“....I hate you.” You whispered as you let harsh tears seep out. Bakugou remained unphased and just assumed it was your pain speaking.

“I love you.” He quietly said. “Please just give me another chance to make this right,” he begged.

You felt Bakugou’s grip loosen and that’s when you quickly took the opportunity to use your quirk and push him off. Your quirk pressed him against the wall and kept him there.

“Hey! Y/N! What are you doing!? Let me go! Please!” He cried out as he watched you grab a blanket, a pillow, sleeping clothes and makeup remover. You’ll sleepover in Mina’s room if Bakugou won’t leave your room. “Please Princess! Don’t leave! I can fix this if you give me another chance! Im begging you to stay! I’m sorry! Please stay!”

“Since you won’t leave, I will. We’re done Bakugou,” you said as you got in his face. You noticed his shaky voice and frantic eyes as he searched your soul to see if you were serious. His mouth hung open slightly as he shook his head ‘no’ in disbelief. “From now on, don’t talk to me, don’t touch me, don’t even look at me! I hate you.” You said and walked out of your room and slammed the door. Katsuki fought against the restraints and once you got far enough, you released your quirk and Bakugou quickly ran out the room to look for you. But he didn’t see any sight of you and so he went back inside you room. He locked himself in there and cried.

He cried and begged that the whole thing was just a bad dream and he would wake up any minute now. But this wasn’t a dream. And Bakugou had really just lost the one he loved. He looked at the room and everything you set up. He cried as he looked around and felt so sorry for both you and him. That night, he slept in your room on your bed, crying. He didn’t even bother to change or anything. He just wanted to escape this new reality.

“Please come back Teddy Bear....I’m sorry.”

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hufflepuffwritingstuff2 · 3 years ago

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Gotham City Sirens Sickfic- Part 1

Just an fyi, everything is platonic!

Y/N hugged herself tighter as she trudged down the rainy streets of Gotham City. What a terrible day to get lost, especially since most of Gotham’s most dangerous criminals had just broken out of Arkham Asylum a few days prior. To make matters worse, Y/N was pretty sure she was coming down with something. She had only come outside to try to buy medicine, but almost every pharmacy was closed due to the weather. Now, several streets away from her apartment, Y/N started to shiver and cough more violently as she looked for somewhere dry to get her bearings.

“Hello?” A voice called.

Y/N turned. She saw a silhouette of what looked like a young woman carrying… a giant mallet?

Y/N hadn’t lived in Gotham very long. As a matter of fact, this was Y/N’s first week in the city, so it came as no surprise that Y/N wouldn’t immediately recognize the madwoman who called herself Harley Quinn.

“Are you okay, doll?” the voice called again.

Y/N took a minute to process it, and although she didn’t understand why, alarm bells still went off in her head. She made a run for it.

“Hey, wait!”

Y/N didn’t get very far before her body was wracked by shivers and more coughing. Y/N collapsed on the rain-soaked street. She tried to get back up but to no avail; the sickness was taking its toll on her. Y/N looked up as the woman approaching her came into view.

“Oh, you look dreadful, Honey.” The woman said.

That was the last thing Y/N heard before her eyes slipped closed and she lost consciousness.

…

When Y/N woke up, she didn’t recognize her surroundings. She was in a small bed that wasn’t hers, and there were pictures on the walls of some of Gotham’s most dangerous criminals smiling at her. Y/N sat up in bed but immediately regretted her decision, as doing so caused her head to spin and her vision to blur.

“Oh, Doll, don’t get up just yet!” A voice cried out.

The woman from before had been standing in the doorway, and she now ran over to Y/N. She gently pushed Y/N back down on the bed.

“W-Where am I?” Y/N asked.

“Aw, look at you already trying to ask questions, that’s adorable. I promise I’ll answer ‘em but first I wanna check you over. Open up.”

Y/N didn’t want to make things worse for herself, so she reluctantly opened her mouth and felt a thermometer get shoved inside. After a few moments, the thermometer started beeping loudly. The woman took the thermometer out and sighed.

“Yep, still piping hot. You’re lucky to be coherent, Honey, most people go into delirium with a fever this high.”

Y/N couldn’t contain her curiosity any longer.

“Who are you?” She blurted.

“You don’t know me?” The woman stared in wonder. “That’s a first. Most everyone around here knows me. Ah, well. You are looking at one Clown Princess of Crime: Harley Quinn. You can just call me Harley, or Doctor Harley, whatever makes you comfortable.”

Harley stood up and grabbed a glass of water from the bedside table.

“Thirsty?”

Y/N sat up and took the water gratefully. She drank the entire glass in seconds, ignoring the strange taste it left in her mouth. She gave the empty glass back to Harley, who set it back on the table.

“Now is probably a good time to tell you I slipped a little something in that.” She said cheerfully.

“What!?”

“Don’t worry about it, I know what I’m doing; it’s just medicine, it’s gonna help you get better. I know because Poison Iv- I mean, a friend, made it herself. It’s probably gonna make you drowsy though, so I wouldn’t try to get up or anything.”

Y/N was already beginning to feel the effects of the drugged water. She fell back against the pillows, unable to sit up any longer.

“That’s it, Honey, you just rest, okay?” Harley said soothingly, “we’ll talk more when you’re feeling better.”

Part 2

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seijorhi · 4 years ago

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No Strings Attached

A commission for the lovely @hearteyes-candyskies, hope you like it bby! 💕

Bokuto Koutarou x female reader

TW Age gap, power imbalance, manipulation, toxic behaviour, nsfw(ish)

Three months ago, you would have laughed at the very idea of having a sugar daddy.

Then again, three months ago you were still living with your boyfriend and had a steady paycheck coming in every week. You can blame losing the latter on bad luck and an asshole boss, but the former-

You knew your relationship with your ex was far from perfect, but coming home from losing said job to find him buried balls deep in your next door neighbour was a bit of a slap in the face.

Needless to say, in the space of a few days you were out a job, a boyfriend and an apartment. Which, somewhat inevitably, led to you being six wines deep, slumped over your best friend’s bed, sobbing over the wreckage of the life you’d built, suddenly ripped out from beneath you.

You can’t really remember whose idea it was, only giggling drunkenly between yourselves as Misuzu set up your ‘sugar baby’ profile. “Shh, no this is gonna be great,” she’d said, hitting at the hands that tried to grab back your phone. “Meet some hot rich old dude, ride a little dick, let him shower you in cash; all your problems? Poof, sorted!”

And even with the heady, rose tinted haze of your wine fuelled inebriation, you knew that it was just a joke, a bit of stupid fun born more out of an attempt to cheer you up than a viable plan to get the tattered remains of your life back on track. Calling some old creepy dude ‘daddy’ and pretending to love him (not to mention the whole letting him fuck you thing) just for a little money wasn’t exactly your idea of a good time.

Plus, you were fairly sure that you weren’t what most people had in mind when they thought ‘sugar baby’. It wasn’t ever meant to be anything serious, just dumb, drunken fun with your friend.

So when you woke the next day a little after mid morning with a head full of regrets and a pounding headache, the last thing you expected was to find a message from BigDaddyKou82 waiting for you, better sense told you to ignore it.

Honestly, you didn’t really want a sugar daddy, your love life was enough of a mess without throwing in a power imbalance like that.

You should have ignored the message, deleted it or shot him a quick reply politely explaining that you weren’t interested so you could put it out of your mind, and you would have-

If Misuzu hadn’t caught sight of the message first, snatching the phone out of your hand with a gleeful shriek.

—

If you’ve learned anything in these past months, it’s that Bokuto Koutarou doesn’t do anything by half measures. So when he tells you he’s booked dinner for the two of you at an upscale restaurant in the city, you should have expected the package that’s hand delivered right to the door of your shitty little apartment. The dress is beautiful, expensive - though you could tell that just from the elegant matte black box wrapped in golden ribbon it arrives in. It’s exactly his style; short, revealing and just dancing along the edge of impropriety, not that that’ll bother him in the slightest.

But it is gorgeous, and loathe as you are to admit it, it flatters you well.

It’s not the first time that he’s bought you clothes, your tiny closet’s almost overflowing with pieces he’s gifted you. He likes seeing you in the things he’s bought, sometimes a little too much, you think. But you’ve learned it’s better just to go along with it - he gets this wide eyed, beaming grin whenever he sees you dressed in the pretty things he’s bought you, and the sight of it never fails to make your cheeks heat, warmth curling in your stomach.

The dress was not unexpected. The soft, lacy lingerie that comes in the accompanying box, on the other hand - that was new.

And of course, you barely have time to unwrap your gift when your phone flashes to life, an incoming call from the man himself.

“D’ya like it?”

The giddy excitement in his voice is unmistakable, and if you close your eyes you can picture the look on his face - golden eyes all hooded and hungry, that glittering, eager grin he wears when the two of you are out in public but his mind’s occupied with all the filthy, wonderful things he wants to do to you the moment you’re alone.

Not that he’s ever that patient.

“Um, it’s…” Fingers tentatively reach into the tissue paper, pulling the sheer, lacy bra out, warmth blossoming in your cheeks. The matching panties - a tiny scrap of lace held together with bows and thin black straps - really aren’t much better. Like the dress, the lingerie is clearly well made, probably cost more than your weekly rent, and the delicate set is arguably gorgeous (you can’t even argue his taste), but–

“You’re gonna wear it for me tonight, right, baby?”

It’s not really a question; of course you will, because you always do. You would have thought by now that you’d be used to the gifts he showers you in.

“Yeah, but Kou, you really didn’t have to spend all this money on me. Dinner’s enough,” you tell him, setting the lingerie back down.

Dinner, and everything else for that matter.

A chuckle echoes down the line. “But I like spoiling my girl. Like buying you pretty things,” his voice dips, “like tearing ‘em off you afterwards, too.”

And despite all the apprehension curled up inside of you, a shiver of excitement runs down your spine.

—

“So…” Misuzu pushes, leaning across the countertop with her chin resting on her palm and looking entirely too pleased at your discomfort.

“He… asked me to meet him.”

Her eyes widen, sparkling in delight as she gasps, “For dinner?”

“For a drink - one drink,” you clarify. You elect not to tell her that he’d initially tried to sway you into dinner, and it was you who’d talked him down to a drink. Truthfully, you’d probably feel more comfortable getting coffee, but meeting at a bar was fine.

One drink, and if things got awkward or he turned out to be a creep you’d be out of there in a heartbeat.

“Oh my god!! My baby Y/N, all grown up and manipulating old, lonely men for money. I’m so proud,” she wipes a fake tear from her eye and bursts into a fit of giggles.

A crinkle appears between your brow as you frown at her, “He’s not even that old,” you grumble, “and it’s not like that. You know it’s not.”

“No?” she asks, her lips curling into a teasing smirk. “You know, for somebody who was so against me messaging your soon to be sugar daddy, you sure move quickly.”

She laughs at the glare you shoot her way. “You were the one who started this.”

“Mhm, and you were the one who didn’t stop it. Funny that, don’t you think?”

She looks like the cat that ate the canary; smug, glittering amusement written all across her face. And you hate, more than anything, that she’s right.

Because you’d meant to put a stop to it the moment you managed to wrestle your phone back from her. Afterwards, you’d blame the lingering hurt of having your heart broken, the insecurities and bitter humiliation that plagued you, the feeling that you weren’t good enough to stop your boyfriend from straying for making you so pathetically vulnerable and desperate for approval - but when you opened the chat instead of the sleazy come on’s you expected, his first message makes something inside of you flutter, warm and pleasant.

Holy crap, you’re beautiful.

Not exactly a sonnet from Shakespeare, but you can’t remember the last time any guy, much less your ex, called you beautiful.

It didn’t exactly hurt that instead of the aging, creepy looking letch you were half expecting, the profile picture showed a rather fit, attractive man in a crisp, black suit with silvery grey streaked hair and an easy grin. Of course, it was a fifty-fifty chance that the pic wasn’t even him, or if it was then it was outdated or heavily edited, but it was enough to make you pause.

Enough to make you… curious, if nothing else.

But ridiculously attractive or not, you weren’t going to lead him on. If he wanted some pretty, simpering thing to fuck and throw money at, to call him daddy and be his sweet, obedient little girl - that wasn’t you. You’d explained that you weren’t really sure if this was your thing, that you probably weren’t what he had in mind, but surprisingly he hadn’t been put off by that.

Well what’s the harm in finding out for yourself? Maybe you’ll like it more than you think ;)

—

There were rules, when you started - lines you both agreed wouldn’t be crossed.

First and foremost, while it wasn’t exactly a conventional relationship - at least, not the kind you were used to - it was still a relationship of sorts, and there was an expectation of honesty in lieu of absolute exclusivity. You’d tell him if you were seeing anybody else, and Bokuto would tell you the same. Considering sex was on the table, it made sense.

You swore right from the beginning that you wouldn’t allow yourself to become financially dependent on him - you knew all too well that relationships were fickle things to begin with. That kind of dependency was half the reason you were in this position in the first place, and you wouldn’t - couldn’t - let that happen again. That didn’t mean that the arrangement wasn’t transactional. After a few initial meetings that went better than you expected, the two of you came to an agreement; a nice little sum of money he’d deposit weekly in your account in exchange for you being there when he wanted you. Dinner dates, skype calls when he’s travelling, spur of the moment weekends away in expensive hotels - whatever he wanted... within reason.

The thing is, despite his flaws - the little funks he gets into, his immaturity despite the age gap between you, the way he clings to you, mopes if you don’t pay him the attention he wants - you genuinely like Bo, he’s oddly endearing. Loveable, even. He reminds you a little of a puppy; eager for affection, bright and boisterous with boundless energy (and enviable stamina). He’s sweet and adoring and funny and he has this uncanny ability to make everything else fade away when you’re with him, to make you feel like you’re the only woman in the room, beautiful and perfect and entirely his-

But that didn’t make him your boyfriend.

You weren’t lovers, and whether it was in two weeks or two years, you both knew this arrangement had an expiration date. And because of that, there were no strings attached. At any point, either one of you could end it without an explanation - no questions asked, no feelings hurt.

—

Truthfully, you don’t know an awful lot about Bokuto’s line of work, only that his position within the company is senior enough that he can move around his schedule pretty much as he wants, leaving him free to see you whenever he likes.

Which wasn’t a problem when that was once or twice a week.

“Sorry, Koutarou, you know I can’t. Maybe tomorrow?”

The petulant whine that echoes down the phone fills you with an odd sort of guilt. “Why not? You said no on Friday, too,” he pouts. “I miss you, baby. Wanna see you again.”

You shove down the faint, flickering unease that nudges at your gut. You’re not his girlfriend, and you find yourself wondering whether or not he sometimes deliberately lets himself forget that.

Nibbling at your bottom lip, you frown, “I told you I have work today. It’s too late for me to try and find someone to cover my shift, and if I call in again-”

You can kiss your job goodbye. You’re already on thin ice with your boss, and it’s not like new waitresses are hard to find these days.

“Well… what time do you finish?” he asks, his voice thick with dejection, as if he already knows what your answer’s going to be.

You bite back a sigh, “Late. I’m on close again.”

The short silence on the other end of the phone is deafening. “… I’ll come pick you up afterwards.”

This time you can’t stop the soft sigh that escapes, “Kou, I’m gonna be exhausted, I won’t be any fun to be around.”

“Still wanna see you. You’re always working,” he grumbles. “Feels like you don’t have time for me anymore, baby.”

Slowly your eyes flutter shut, and you take a deep breath. It always comes back to this. “I need this job, baby. We’ve talked about this… I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? I have the whole day off, I’m entirely yours.”

“All mine, hm?”

You smile, “All yours, promise.”

He hums in acknowledgement, not entirely happy, but temporarily placated. “Fiiiine. But I’m holding you to it.”

As if you expected any less. “I have to go get ready for work. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“I’ll see you later,” he promises, and you hang up a moment later.

When he said that, you assumed that both of you were on the same page as to what ‘later’ meant.

Three hours into your shift, you hadn’t expected to return from the kitchen to find a grinning Bokuto lounging in one of your booths.

“He asked for you specifically when he came in,” one of your coworkers tells you, shooting you a playful wink. “Didn’t know you were into silver foxes, Y/N. But I can’t say I blame you, he’s hot!”

“Yeah, thanks,” you mutter distractedly, glancing over your shoulder to check your manager wasn’t watching before making your way over.

The smile on your face is tight as golden eyes flicker towards you. “Bokuto,” you begin quietly, “what- what are you doing here?”

An odd look passes across his face at the use of his family name, but the smug grin remains. “You said you had to work tonight,” he says with a cavalier shrug, as if that explained everything.

“Yes, because I’m working! Kou, I need this job, I can’t-” you break off with a huff, darting another glance over your shoulder. Thankfully, your manager’s busy berating your co-worker for a screwed up order and hasn’t noticed your absence yet.

Taking advantage of your distracted state, Bokuto reaches across the table to take your hand in his, his thumb stroking back and forth along the back of your palm. “Hey, hey, relax. You’re here to work, I get it, baby. I’m just here for some food, cross my heart,” he swears, drawing an imaginary X over his chest with his finger.

Gently tugging your hand back, you ignore the hurt little pout he gives you. “So you decided to drive twenty minutes across town just to eat here?” you ask, trying to keep the exasperation from colouring your tone.

He shifts a little in his seat, cheeks flushing a dusty pink under your narrowed stare. “… Well, maybe I wanted to see my pretty girl, too,” he admits, “But I swear I’ll be on my best behaviour!”

Somehow, his words don’t fill you with confidence, but what are you supposed to do? Kick him out? Snap at him for coming despite the fact you told him not to? Taking a deep, steadying breath through your nose, you force yourself to relax. Bokuto’s not hurting anybody by being there, and so long as he keeps his hands to himself, so long as he behaves, it won’t be an issue.

He’s a paying customer, and you’ll treat him just like you would anyone else who walked through the restaurant’s doors.

Yet despite trying to reassure yourself of that, you can’t escape the niggling sense of unease sitting in the pit of your stomach. Even if he’s the perfect gentleman tonight, the perfect stranger, you’ve worked hard to keep your boring day to day life and the one you’ve created with him in nice, neat, separate boxes. Bokuto hasn’t met your friends or your family and outside of Misuzu they don’t have a clue about your arrangement with your attractive if somewhat clingy benefactor.

You don’t want them to know.

Him being here threatens that - it makes you nervous.

But you’ve been with Bokuto long enough to know that you can’t tell him that without hurting his feelings, and you definitely don’t have the energy to deal with that tonight. It’s a conversation for another day.

Instead, you allow a small smile to tug at the corners of your lips, “You know the food’s pretty average here, you might be disappointed.”

Bokuto grins again, mischief sparkling in those golden eyes, and your traitorous heart skips a beat. “Yeah, don’t think that’ll be a problem,” he leans in closer, “I’m far more interested in what’s for dessert.”

Warmth floods your cheeks as he snickers.

—

For the most part he keeps his hands to himself, but you can’t quite bring yourself to relax when you can feel those golden, hungry eyes burning a hole into your back as you move around the restaurant serving other customers.

You pretend you don’t see the scowling glower he sends to the harmless office-worker who spends a good forty five minutes flirting with you every time you go over to check on his table.

Bokuto orders enough food to feed a small army and stays until close, leaving a more than generous tip on his way out.

It goes without saying that he waits for you to finish up. The moment you slip out the door, calling out one last goodnight to your coworker, he’s on you, pushing you up against the brick alleyway wall, hiking your legs up over his hips as his mouth attacks yours, greedy and eager, swallowing up any and all protests you might’ve had.

He doesn’t take you home like you ask, but back to his penthouse suite, and neither of you get much sleep that night.

—

You’re halfway through washing your hair a few days later when your shower head splutters once… twice… and stops completely.

A blockage in the plumbing, your landlord informs you rather apathetically. It’s affecting the whole floor and it’ll take at least a day or two to get somebody out to fix it properly, leaving you without running water for the entirety of that time.

In hindsight, there were at least three other people you could have (and probably should have) called first, but he’s already answering the phone before the thought even occurs to you.

And then it’s too late to backpedal. You find yourself grateful that he can’t physically see the way you flush and fidget, pacing around your living room as you awkwardly try to explain the reason you’re calling at ten in the morning.

“Would, I mean, i-is it okay if I come over to use your shower? Just for this one time, mine kind of got interrupted this morning.”

God, from the way you stutter, stumbling over your own tongue, you’d think you were asking him to marry you. You’ve spent the night at his countless times before, but asking for a favour, even a small one like this - maybe you’re toeing an unwritten line in the sand? Bokuto isn’t with you because he loves you, he’s with you because it’s mutually beneficial for both of you, because of an agreement.

He wants fun, easy, not you saddling him with minor inconveniences. Calling to ask him to come save you, albeit from something as mundane as a lack of access to a functioning shower, feels like something you’d ask your boyfriend to do.

Not your sugar daddy.

But just as you’re about to backtrack and apologise for interrupting his morning, he speaks. “What d’you mean? Just come stay with me till it’s fixed.”

He says it with such certainty, as if it’s the most obvious solution and for a moment you’re stunned into silence. “A-are you sure? I don’t want-'' Don't want what? To be an inconvenience? A problem? “I don’t want to be in the way,” you finish lamely.

Bokuto just laughs, “Don’t be stupid, baby, of course you won’t be in the way. Just swing by the office and I can give you the keys. Or I can just get you another set made? I don’t know, we can figure it out later. I’ll see you soon, ‘kay?”

And you have to admit, as apprehensive as you were stepping into his penthouse alone for the first time, showering in Bokuto’s fancy ensuite bathroom (which you’re fairly sure is bigger than your actual bedroom) is a hell of a lot nicer than doing it at home. The lotions he has are all expensive brands with french names you’ve never even heard of before, but they smell amazing and they leave your skin feeling all soft and silky. Even the shampoo he’s bought for you to use is far nicer than the one you have at home, though you’re secretly pleased that its scent’s similar - your favourite, actually.

Did he buy them knowing that or was it just a coincidence, you wonder. You never thought to ask.

Without work, or Bo for that matter, to occupy your time, you decide to take advantage of his gigantic TV, opening up Netflix and settling into his ridiculously comfortable couch…

… And wake, a few hours later to the feeling of fingers carding through your hair and a pair of lips pressing against your cheek.

Bokuto’s home, you realise with a start, and there’s drool on your chin. Face burning with embarrassment, you hastily wipe it away with the back of your palm and try to sit up, only for Bokuto’s hand to wrap around your wrist, halting you in your tracks.

“No, don’t get up, baby,” he says, easing down onto the couch beside you and shifting your head onto his lap so he can continue threading his fingers through your hair. “I like coming home to this.”

Still half asleep, curling up and nuzzling further into those warm, thick thighs of his, you miss the intensity of the adoration burning in golden depths as he coaxes you back to sleep.

—

The two of you are in bed, your cheek resting on his chest, his arm slung over your waist and knuckles brushing idly along your side, when Bokuto breaks the comfortable silence.

“Move in with me.”

You tense in his arms, heart skipping a beat. For a split second, you’re almost positive that you misheard him. “I-I’m sorry?” You push yourself up onto your elbow, turning your head so that you can look at him properly.

But Bokuto doesn’t miss a beat. “Move in with me,” he repeats, golden eyes bearing down on you.

The expression on your face is frozen halfway between disbelief and hysteria, and you’re staring at him, waiting for that stupid grin to break across his face, for him to laugh and tell you how ridiculous you look, because of course he’s joking.

He’s joking, right?

“Koutarou,” you begin slowly, “Wha- I don’t… Why would you want me to move in with you? We barely- I mean, we’re not…”

He shrugs his shoulders, “Why wouldn’t I? It makes sense. My place is bigger and nicer, and I like having you here with me. Feels right.”

It feels right??

“I-I can’t just move out of my apartment, Kou.”

His eyebrows knit together, and he huffs, “Why not? It’s a shitty apartment.”

“That’s not the point!” Knocking away the hand that reaches for you, you push yourself all the way up until you’re sitting properly. “I don’t want to move.”

Owlish eyes narrow, a flash of irritation sparking. “Why not? It makes perfect sense for you to move in here with me. You wouldn’t have to work at that stupid job anymore for one,” he huffs.

“Bokuto, I’m not going to quit my job,” you mutter. “We’ve talked about this.”

“Why, though?!” he explodes. “You don’t need the money, I’ve told you I can take care of you, whatever you want, baby, name it and it’s fucking yours. You don’t need to work and you don’t need that shitty little apartment!”

Like a crystal glass slipping from numb fingers, the fantasy you’ve convinced yourself you’ve been living shatters into a thousand jagged shards in the space of a single breath.

Oh, how naive you’ve been. How fucking stupid.

Squeezing your eyes shut, you inhale deeply, “Kou, that’s not-”

Strong fingers grip your jaw, and your eyes shoot open as he tugs your face back towards him. Your breath catches in your throat, heart hammering painfully against your ribs. His eyes are wide, pupils blown out, but it’s the intensity in his gaze as he stares at you, the blank expression-

“I love you.”

—

39 missed calls. 72 unread messages.

Flowers, bouquets of roses, peonies and chrysanthemums piled up by your door between boxes of chocolates and other gifts you won’t bring yourself to open.

Wide eyed, Misuzu gingerly steps over them, holding two steaming mugs in hand. “Holy fuck,” she murmurs, and for the first time since this stupid, awful mistake began, there’s not a trace of mirth to be found. “Y/N, I…”

But she doesn’t have the words, and you can’t blame her.

“He told me he loves me,” you sigh. “He asked me to move in with him and told me he loved me, and I grabbed my clothes and all but ran.” You still can’t get the image of Bokuto’s face out of your head, the raw, aching hurt swimming in his eyes as you all but stumbled over excuses in your haste to get out of there. But he didn’t lift a finger to stop you, didn’t say another word.

He just watched numbly, hunched over against the headboard as you fled.

There’s a short beat of silence between the two of you as she sets down the drinks and collapses into the chair beside you. “And… do you love him back?”

Exhaling loudly, you drop your face into your palms. “I-”

You like how he makes you feel beautiful, the filthy, wonderful praise he lavishes you in when the two of you sleep together, the way he touches you, fingers and mouth so eager to please as his cock fills you, inch by delicious inch.

You like being adored, treasured, and you liked Bo, but… you don’t love him.

That was never on the cards, that wasn’t what your relationship was.

Every line he ever crossed, every boundary he toed, you keep replaying them again and again over and over in your head like a never ending loop. You hadn’t even wanted this whole stupid sugar baby relationship to begin with, and every step of the way he was the one to coax you forward.

And you let him, swallowing down your doubts and your insecurities each and every time. You let him think that this was something else entirely…

How had you not seen this coming?

“No,” you admit.

The hand that takes yours is soft, and when you glance over with eyes beginning to burn with unshed tears, Misuzu squeezes it gently. “Then end it. Walk away.”

And with your head on her shoulder, her arms wrapped loosely around you, you type out a short message to Bokuto. No strings attached and no questions asked, you’d promised each other that much when you’d started this mess. You wonder if it still holds true.

I’m sorry. Clearly we were on different pages and want different things. I didn’t mean to lead you on or for things to go as far as they did, but I can’t do this with you anymore.

You send it and block his contact, and when the tears come and painful sobs rip their way free, Misuzu holds you tight and murmurs soft reassurances. It’ll pass, all breakups hurt.

—

A week after your ‘breakup’ you get a notification on your phone that money’s been transferred into your bank account.

For a moment, you think that maybe it’s an accident, a recurring transaction he’d simply forgotten to cancel (you doubt he’d even notice) until you click into the transaction itself.

It isn’t the sum itself that startles you - twice the usual amount - but the short note attached in the description.

I need to see you. Please.

You transfer the money right back into his account.

—

Without your weekly supplement from Bo, it doesn’t take long for you to come to the realisation that your current salary just barely covers rent and your bills, and if you want to eat anything other than two minute noodles in the foreseeable future, you’re going to need either more hours, or a second job.

Thankfully, the timing works out well. When you go to your boss with your most winning smile to try and convince her of your plight, she simply shrugs and agrees, having had to let one of the junior staff go only a few days before. The one catch being that instead of working a mix of morning and afternoon shifts with the occasional closing thrown in, you’re now exclusively on close, five nights a week, Tuesday through Saturday.

Mostly, it doesn’t bother you. The shifts are long and you always leave feeling aching, drained and barely human, but usually it’s quiet enough, and so long as you can get the last few lingering customers out early enough, the actual close runs pretty smoothly between you and the other staff.

It’s not what you really want to be doing, but you’ve learned to make the best of it. This is adult life, and for the first time since high school, you’re supporting yourself entirely. It might not be the greatest job in the world, and there are absolutely days when you just want to throw in the towel completely, but there is a slight pride to that fact. You don’t need anybody in your life to coddle or support you, you’re figuring this shit out as you go along.

You just wish, sometimes, that you could do that without having to work until the early hours of the morning.

On paper, the kitchen closes at midnight and the last customers are supposed to be out within half an hour of that. Then, between yourself and another server, you can usually get the restaurant tidied up and closed a little after one.

You knew right from the moment you clocked on that tonight wasn’t going to be one of those nights. The girl who’s supposed to be on close with you called in sick and your boss hasn’t bothered to replace her.

It’s not the first time you’ve had to close by yourself, but it’s still a pain, especially when the last few customers take forever to finish up and leave.

One of the kitchen staff offers to stay back, his bag slung over his shoulder, hand already on the door handle but you just shake your head with a tired smile.

“Nah, I can handle it. Thanks, though,”

To his credit, he doesn’t immediately take the offered out. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. See you tomorrow.”

Without any help, it takes almost twice as long for you to finish up, and it’s a little after two when you finally flick off the lights and lock the doors.

Your feet are killing you, and all you can think about is sinking into your bed at home, burrowing into your blankets and sleeping for a week straight-

“Hey, baby.”

Leaning against the hood of his car, arms folded across his broad chest and eyeing you with an unreadable expression, is Bokuto.

The tiny hairs on the back of your neck stand on end.

There's nothing inherently threatening about him being here, but it’s the middle of the night, you haven’t seen him in almost two weeks and you don’t need to glance around to know that the car park’s empty. There’s nobody in sight.

Just you and him, and the few feet of distance separating you.

“K-kou, what are you… what are you doing here?”

He smiles at that, the way his name slips from your lips, but only for a fleeting second. It fades, and a cold, uncomfortable feeling settles in the pit of your stomach.

“I missed you, y’know?” He pushes off the hood and takes a step towards you, “You didn’t call me.”

He’s always been bigger than you, towering over you looking like some Adonis with those rippling, powerful muscles of his. You used to like that strength, squealing in wicked delight when he’d hoist you up with a grin, hands gripping your thighs, squeezing your ass, your back shoved up against the wall so he could drive his cock deeper into ‘his pretty fuckin’ pussy’.

But that was then.

You’ve never been scared of his strength. Even that morning in the apartment, he didn’t lash out, didn’t scream or yell, he just… shut down. He wouldn’t hurt you, you know that.

That doesn’t stop you from skittering backwards like a frightened little bunny, your back hitting the wall.

The very moment you do, you watch as his eyes widen in surprise, hurt flashing for a split second-

-before they darken, his face twisting into a scowl, and you can’t escape the feeling you’ve made an awful mistake.

Dread creeps its way up your spine, tightening like a vice around your chest, making it hard to breathe. Your brain is screaming at you to run, adrenaline surging through your veins, but even as your heart races and your breathing spikes, you can’t seem to move your legs.

It wouldn’t make a difference even if you could - with your back up against the literal wall, Bokuto and his car blocking your only escape route, you’re trapped; a fact that hasn’t escaped either of you.

Paralysed in fear, you can’t so much as twitch as he takes another slow, calculated step forward.

Desperately, you open your mouth - to try and placate him? To apologise? Scream for help? - but all that escapes is his name in a choked, breathless whisper.

“Bokuto…”

As he stares at you, he almost looks regretful.

Almost, if not for the grim determination resolving like steel in those golden eyes of his. “I love you, and I know you love me, too,” he says, closing the gap between you. “I’m doing this for us, baby.”

#yandere haikyuu #yandere bokuto x reader #yandere bokuto kotaro x reader #yandere bokuto koutarou #yandere bokuto kotaro #yandere bokuto koutarou x reader #tw manipulation #tw toxic behavior #tw kidnapping

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