#i’m posting i tho i swear (i wonder how many times i said that)

[killsaki]

is it really a star come back if i’m not spam posting typos and saying ill post a fic then don’t????

[writtnbyhan]

NFWMB.

PAIRING: bang chan x female!reader

TAGS: protective chan, idol!chan, non-idol!reader, established relationship.

WORD COUNT: 1945

PROMPT: person a gets into a heated argument with someone. person b starts threatening them, so person a picks up person b and carries/drags them out of the room before anyone gets hurt.

warnings: what the prompt says, lol — arguments (not between chan and reader). very very minor violence (arm grabbed), bruising, swearing. Let me know if I missed a warning.

author's note: well, baby's first post. I really hope someone likes this ? my goal is to participate in nanowrimo in my own way so expect weekly posts from yours truly. I was nervous about what to write about bc of it being my first post but I needed to write something or I'd never do it. starting with chan feels right, though I wish I can get to write more fluff soon 😭 this was fun tho! I really like protective and possessive chan<3

You didn’t intend for him to hear. Mostly, because you thought you could handle things on your own, but also because you knew it would somehow end up like this.

You have been visiting the building where the boys work for as long as you remember being in their lives. It’s not your fault, given that they spend almost every waking moment there, working. And the one whose time was taken the most by it happened to be your boyfriend. It was a Saturday and he was working, which wasn’t uncommon, but it also wasn’t healthy. You let it slide sometimes, when you knew time was pressing on him and he needed to be there, for his own peace of mind. But everything was ready for the comeback, there was absolutely no reason for him to spend his weekend locked up in that so-familiar room.

So, you did the only logical thing: went there to drag him out, knowing only you where capable of doing so. No amount of puppy eyes from his kids could do what you could with just asking — you were his girlfriend, after all, it was expected that he’d have a soft spot for you.

You felt the problems creeping on you as soon as you stepped foot in the building. There were new people there, new workers. You hated when new staff started working, because they were still too nosy, and because they would ask too many question, some of which you wouldn’t be able to answer without one of the boys by your side to prove your credibility. It was okay, though, you could only imagine how many girls could go to the front desk and claim what was your truth — “I’m looking for my boyfriend”.

Luckily, the girl at the front desk, Sun Hee, already knew you. She only smiled at you when she saw you enter the building, and her tired smile should’ve been warning enough. You walked to her with a matching smile of your own, she knew you were there to pick up a overworking boyfriend, but you still needed to sign your name in the records.

“hi, lovely! what’s got you tired today?” you asked, curiosity so strong you couldn’t help asking.

“new staff’s first weekend. sometimes I wonder how they got hired in the first place”, she answers truthfully, sighing. She sends you a look you know it’s a warning — beware, idiots walking around feeling entitled!

You sigh, too. That’s going to be troublesome, especially today.

“hope I don’t get to met them today, at least until I find Chan. The boys didn’t warn me, or I would have brought one of them with me”

She showed a sympathetic smile, nodding.

“Prince charming is on studio 3, same as always”, she rolls her eyes playfully.

It says something about your overachieving boyfriend that not only the staff knows where he is all the time, but also that you have almost made friends with said staff. God, you needed to convince him to spend less time working.

After thaking Sun Hee and promising to chat more later, you walked to the elevator, setting to find Chan. You could amost picture him — black hoodie, black beanie hiding his messy curls, and headphones in. You smiled at the image in your head, a much too familiar one, one you loved so much.

Smile still present in your face, you stepped out of the elevator on the corresponding floor, checking different doors that had lights on. You were here to pick up Chan, yes, but you didn’t rule out finding Hyunjin or Felix overworking themselves too. The blondes were quick to follow their leader to the building any day, claiming they always “needed” the extra practice. Jeongin would be just as annoying as they were to you, if it wasn’t for his baby status, which meant everyone took a little more care of him (Minho more than anyone, checking that the boy didn’t overwork himself regularly).

Of course, checking every room as if you didn’t know where you were going to may have looked suspicious, you will give the man that. You were glad he was doing his job, just — well, maybe you were at the wrong place at the wrong time, or maybe he was.

“Excuse me, miss, who are you and where are you going?” He was at least 30 cm taller than you, and he was almost as buff as Changbin. You weren’t intimidated at first, you knew your presence had been cleared for, you had a right to be there, and you had got through the entrance desk, so he must know you were allowed there, right? Maybe he was just trying to help.

“Oh, hi! I’m Y/N. I’m looking for my boyfriend and checking to see if one of his friends is here as well”, you explained.

He stepped closer, almost invading your personal space. You took two steps back.

“Who are you looking for?”, he was eyeing you as if you were suspicious, a threat even. You, who was dressed in a skirt and probably looked like a mouse next to him.

“My boyfriend”, you repeated, “Christopher Bang Chan. He is in one of those studio rooms”, you added matter-of-factly.

“Ma’am, I’m going to have to escort you outside. You shouldn’t be here.” The man said, loudly, like he wanted to be heard. Ah, you thought, he is one of the new ones. It was common, you have seen it happen one too many times — new staff is always trying to prove themselves as good.

You smiled, though you were a little intimidated now. After all, you were alone in a hallway with the man who kept getting closer.

“Why is that? I am allowed here”, you tried to keep calm.

“Look, I don’t know how you passed the front desk, but fans should not be inside the building!”, the man yelled at you, his arm reaching out until he could take you by the wrist, his hold tight enough to bruise.

“Hey! You’re hurting me, stop it. Let me go!” You started struggling, trying to force your arm out of the man’s hold.

“Stop fighting or I’ll call security”, he threatened. You were about to tell him to do so, you’d wait by him until security came there and showed the man that your info was in the system and you were, actually, allowed there. You didn’t get a chance, though, for your boyfriend’s voice reached your ears as soon as the man stopped talking.

“You let her go or I’ll call security myself”, Chan’s voice showed his anger, and as he got closer you saw the determined look in his eyes that made you worry a little. You didn’t doubt Chan was capable of hitting the man if he didn’t let you go right now.

The man, apparently, didn’t notice that, for he did not let go of your wrist.

“I’m so sorry, sir, I’ll have her removed from the building immediately, I don’t know how she got inside.” He was tugging at your wrist, to which you kept quiet. If you expressed how much it hurt, the situation could escalate more than you wanted it to.

“She got inside because she’s allowed to. Now, I said: let her go.” Chan’s voice was ice cold, almost spitting the words at the man’s face. Finally, your arm was free, and you rushed to take your own wrist so as to cover the red marks, evidence of the strong hold the man had on you.

“Why doesn’t she have a pass, then?”

“She doesn’t need one because she’s not a guest. Did you even care to ask about that or check the system? You know, that type of irresponsible behaviour could get you fired — you can’t just go around the building threatening and grabbing people by force!” Chan’s voice got louder near the end.

“It’s okay”, you quipped, putting a hand in Chan’s chest as an attempt to calm him down. He was protective, you knew as much, but he was also a lovely person who you knew didn’t want to get anyone fired. Still, you knew he’d do something like that for you if you asked for it.

That was a wrong move, apparently, because it meant letting him see the marks on your arm.

“what the fuck?” his words were whispered, but it was obvious the anger that came with them. “Man, what is wrong with you? You should have checked before bruising her arm like that! What gives you the right to decide who is and isn’t allowed here?! That’s the front desk’s job, if she’s on the fucking third floor, then I think it’s fucking obvious she passed security. I need your name for I will have to file a complaint about this, grabbing someone like this is violent and no excuse of security can make it right because you are not supposed to even touch here — if you think she is not allowed here, you call security, you do not bruise my girlfriend’s arm.”

Chan’s voice is loud, and he is so close to the man you could tell it is some kind of threat, or maybe show of strenght. The man’s jaw was tense, as if he was ready to argue with the idol himself. You looked around the hallway, not knowing what to do or how to stop this. The man that had grabbed your arm clearly felt too entitled for his own good, and you worried that he might try to turn things physical.

Lucky for you, he didn’t even get a chance to answer before you heard a door open and close quickly, someone rushing out of one of the practice rooms.

You think you have never been happier of seeing the freckles in Felix’s face.

“Chan, everything okay?” sunshine boy asked, putting his arm around you as soon as he was close enough. His voice seemed to get Chan out of whatever state he was in, for he took a few steps back, still not breaking eye contact with the other man.

“Yeah, this dude just grabbed y/n’s arm and bruised her wrist because it’s apparently his first week here and he already feels too entitled.”

Felix looks at you, looking for something in your eyes, before getting closer to his friend.

“Okay, let’s go grab our things and go home to see if she needs to put some ice on her wrist”. He doesn’t let Chan answer before taking his hand with his smaller one, intertwining his fingers and almost dragging him out of there. You’re quick behind them, taking Chan’s other hand to give him some peace of mind.

Felix looks back at you and you smile in thanks. You know your boyfriend is way too protective, but a situation like this had never happened before. It’s good to know he’d do anything to defend you, but you still didn’t want him to get in a physical fight in his workplace.

“Don’t you dare think this gets any of you out of the hook for working on one of your free days, boys.” You reprimand them, hands still intertwined while entering the studio. Chan’s calmer now, his cheeks blushed with what you guess is something akin to embarrassement; you know he doesn’t like getting like this, but sometimes his emotions overpower him. You kiss his cheek, deciding to not comment on the subject until he does so himself. After all, you achieved what you came here to do — collect whichever stray kid had wandered their way to work on a weekend and get them home.

[slttygeto]

salutations, user slttygeto. I've been following you for a while now (i think 6 months or so?), but for a good 3 months, and I didn't have the motivation to read on here. I finally remembered I actually actively have an account on here and follow MANY really talented and wonderful creators. I'm very glad that I came back to your blog for the first time in months. as a matter of fact, I opened the app and your blog was the very first to come up. (my phone just knows my heart aches for some satosugu content, I'm afraid.)

I've been apart of the jjk fandom since I started watching it in May 2021, but have never in these 2 years had such severe brainrot of satosugu (specifically gojo because I am in shambles at the current moment.) until about a few weeks ago. just wanted to say, I love love LOVEEE your blogs, and seeing all of the fluffy gojo ones make my heart flutter (the spicy ones are SCRUMPTIOUS tho). I love the way you portray them both. I'm having a tough time myself mentally, so reading any type of your blogs help relieve a lot of my stress and overwhelming anxiety. :) (this is simply showing appreciation, not meaning to trauma dump or vent I swear 😭😭)

I said it once, I shall speak it again, your posts never fail to make me sad, make me happy, or make me wanna actually tear my floors up with my teeth. PLEASE continue making these soul ascending blogs, I shall be here going through your ENTIRE blog after this, kicking my feet, twirling my hair, gouging out my eyeballs with tongs. I hope both sides of your pillow are cold and that you experience all good things in life. to all who read this, I wish the same for you all 🤗 ‼️

sincerely, user sugvruu 🫶🫶 (I love making things like this sound so renaissance, even if there's barely any of that in this tehe. 🤭) ❤️❤️❤️

greetings user sugvruu,

words cannot begin to describe the wholesomeness of this message and how it made me feel. all i’m going to say is that you sent it on the right day and i’m forever grateful for that. it is such an honor that my works have greatly affected you and i hope that you will stay here for as long as i post on here <333

sincerely,

moon <3

[miekasa]

mie….could we please get college au eren headcanons👉🏽👈🏽

Of course. I’m always thinking about his big head anyway <33 might as well put it good use.

One thing he learned in college is how to make his hyperfocus/fixation episodes work for him; that’s why he schedules all his classes as close together as possible. He’d rather have class back to back for 5 hours, than have it spread out with hours in between lectures, because that increases his changes of cutting.

You can always tell when he’s in class and/or what class he’s in by how much he responds to your messages. If he doesn’t text back at all, he’s in a class that hard or one he enjoys, or both. But if he’s sending you iMessage games, then you know he’s in his elective that he couldn’t care else about (and is probably cheating in someway somehow lmfao). 

He usually puts his phone on dnd when he’s in a class that’s important, but you’re in his favorite contacts, so your messages always ring through. What if it’s an emergency and you need him for something? Advanced Roots of Human Biology can wait. 

Some days there are one or two our breaks between his lectures, that’s just how the scheduling works out. When that happens, he usually sneaks into one of your lectures, or goes to your place to take a nap. Your roommates have become accustomed to him, honestly they’ve been considering giving him a key. 

Once, he didn’t realize that your lecture was basically a seminar, with you, the prof and maybe six other students. He still stayed lmao, and the prof was so amazed by his dedication, that she didn’t even mind. Occasionally, you’ll catch the two of them talking after lecture. It’s pretty cute the way she’s adopted him into the class even tho he’s not on the roster. 

You... have to show him where the library is lmfao. He genuinely has not stepped foot in one until you bring him to one. He likes it tho lmao once he gets used to it. 

Speaking of which, do not give him standard directions to find your classes on campus because all you’ll get is, “Babe, I’m gonna keep it real with you, I’ve never heard of the ‘West Quad’ a day in my life. What building are you near.”

He usually comes to see you in the library after all his lectures are done for the day. Sometimes he does homework, sometimes he’s just fucking around on his computer, sometimes he’s just bothering you. When you have to leave to go to class, he stays behind to watch your stuff so you don’t have to pack everything up and come back. 

Very protective when it comes to keeping your seat for you. No, you cannot take that chair to your table you good for nothing freshman; it’s reserved for you. 

He’ll drag you out of the library if you’ve been cooped up all day, tho. Eren will use his height and his strength against you to get you up. Placates you with kisses when he sees your angry expression, and promises to buy you food.

He takes your backpack for you when you’re walking together,m. His backpack is frustratingly light all the time, even during midterms. You swear all he’s got in there is a pencil and some flashcards. 

If you have night classes, he sticks around to walk you home after, especially in the winter when it gets dark faster. If he’s not already on campus, he’ll walk/drive back to meet you; he just doesn’t like you going home alone. Even if your friend/roommate is in the class with you, Eren will walk or drive the both of you home for his own sanity. 

He plays sports, so he usually has practice most evenings, but he’ll find a way to make time. If practice was particularly brutal, he’ll probably crash at your place.

He loves it when you come to meet him after practice. His whole face lights up and he waves obnoxiously, before he gathers up his stuff and all but sprints towards you. You get a cold water bottle to the face, or a bit of water splashed on you usually, which he takes immense amusement in. 

He knows it’s not possible for you to make it to all of his games, and usually it doesn’t bother him much; you’ve got your own life, and work to worry about. All he asks is that you wear his jersey, or any item of his sports apparel/merch on game day (he’s partial to hoodies).

By the time junior year rolls around, he’s not all that interested in attending parties that aren’t hosted by your friends; so, unless it’s at Connie, Jean, or Reiner and Bertholdt’s place, Eren will usually decline. Even team parties, he’s not crazy about unless it’s to celebrate a championship or something. He’d much rather celebrate with you. 

He does get excited about hosting parties though, and he and Jean become pretty damn good co-hosts. They don’t throw ragers, and that’s probably why Eren likes it so much. It’s usually your friend group and a couple plus ones, some good music, games, weed, and take-out. 

He’ll buy you coffee whenever you ask for it. The first time, he just orders something plain, not really knowing the difference between anything; but give it two or three tries, and he’ll get it perfect. He becomes so good that he can order you something new/different and you’ll love it. 

That’s kind of the start of his own coffee addiction, and more often than not, when he buys you a cup, he’s on his second or third of the day himself. The flavor has really grown on him, okay. 

He much prefers your apartment, but on occasion, he’ll ask you to come to his. You’ve been studying for so long, a change of environment should do you good, he claims. He’s a fucking liar tho because that’s all Eren Talk for “I do genuinely want you to come over, but my plans are to coerce you out of doing your assignments and doing me instead.”

Lmfao he adds you on Apple Watch Rings just so you can see him close his rings every day and laugh at you. Even if yours get closed by virtue of walking around campus or working out or whatever, his numbers are stupidly high because he fucking has practice at least 4 days of the week. 

Of course when you’re running on a soccer field for 2 hours every day, you close your Move Ring five times, Eren. Leave the rest of us alone. 

He buys you guys matching accessories for your keychains. It’s something pretty cute, and slightly random, but it reminded him of you. It also serves as a reminder to himself to take his fucking keys with him when he leaves his house. 

He sleeps like a fucking rock, so do not let him fall asleep in the library. Waking him up is a mission, and he’s never happy to be woken up. He looks kinda cute tho. 

He schedules dates for you and his friends. Usually by accident, but hear me out. Sometimes he’ll make plans with Armin, then forget that he has class or a test or something; so his solution is to text you, “hey, i forgot min and i were supposed to go some aquarium tomorrow but i have a midterm so here’s the pdf of my ticket, go with him for me, thanks babe love u” then, boop, you and Armin have an aquarium date Friday evening. 

The same thing happens with Mikasa, though, she usually catches the scheduling conflict before Eren does, and invites you out herself. You and Mikasa hang out quite a bit anyway, so it comes to the point where she tells you when she’s gonna hang out with Eren, so you can make yourself free for when he inevitably remember he has a game that day. 

Mikasa is most amazed that you’ve put up with Eren this long lmao. You’ve certainly lessened her Eren & Armin babysitting hours, and for that she’s eternally grateful. Also, she’s just happy to have another close friend. She loves Eren and Armin, but they’re not the most social beings, and she was literally their only friend besides the other for all their childhood PLEASE she’s so happy you’re around. 

It’s Mikasa, however, who babysits you and Eren whenever you both get too drunk. Says you guys are two peas in a pod (affectionate<2)

If you tell Eren something important that happened, like an internship you got, or a good grade in a class, or something, he usually relays that information to his mom pls. He texts her every day, and if she doesn’t ask for an update on you first, he gives her one.

Carla calls you sometimes, too. At least once every few weeks, just to check on you herself. She really likes you for Eren, and is grateful someone is willing to put up with her hotheaded son. 

Eren’s always using your fucking chapstick. Always. You know he has his own, so why he needs to use yours is beyond you. Finds time to make some dumbass comment about how it’s an “indirect kiss” every time he uses it too. Like bro, we’re dating, and have had many direct kisses why are you like this.

He posts on Instagram every few weeks or so, but you’re on his story every few days. Usually, it’s just a video of you minding your business and doing your work while Eren slowly zooms in before making some loud noise to surprise you, all so he can get your reaction on video and laugh at it. He’s annoying. 

He’s a bit of a copycat when it comes to the products you use. He’ll buy the same brand of pens as you (for that matter, all of his school supplies mirror yours because what does he know about the difference between A4 and A5 notebooks?), put a little hand sanitizer on his backpack like yours (and a lotion, too, for good measure), he even copies your Starbucks order until he finds one he likes for himself. It’s one of his love languages <3

If you’re wondering where your eyelash curler went, Eren stole it to try it on himself, hurt himself, vowed to never use it again, went back because he wanted to “do it right and not give up,” liked the results when he didn’t pinch his eyelid, and now it’s his. 

That being said, stop trying to put your Fenty lipgloss on him, it’s never going to happen. Eye makeup, maybe, only if you sit in his lap and he can have his hands on your ass while you do it. 

What he does love is letting you do his skincare. He will set aside dedicated skincare nights, he adores it. Easily one of his favorite things ever. 

You have his wallet. Not because he’s your sugar daddy or anything (although, if you want something, he’d definitely let you use his card to get it; and even if you bought something without asking, he wouldn’t think twice about it), but because he put it in your bag once and never took it out. 

When you tried to give it back, he just shook his head and told you to keep it, “I have my ID in my phone case anyway, and you’re less likely to lose it. Plus I put all my cards on Apple Pay, so I’m good.”

When you do make it to a game of his, he’s all over you when it’s over. Not in a cocky athlete boyfriend kind of way; in a very sleepy boyfriend kind of way. He’s usually got ice on at least one part of his body, and he’s got half his body weight on you as you walk to the car. 

By the time you guys get back to your place, he’s practically sleep walking. The only thing on his mind is taking a hot shower to soothe his muscles, and heading to bed. The aftermath of game days aren’t all that bad though, because even if you didn’t show, you’re always there to kiss him when he’s home and massage his shoulders, and cuddle him to sleep; and that’s his favorite part. 

[kaistarus]

One Bed Mix-Up

Pairing: NishinoyaXReader

Words:2.5K

Summary: Nishinoya insists he’s the world’s greatest traveler, so you decide to visit him during your spring break vacation. But due to his inability to speak foreign languages Nishinoya messes up and gets you both a room with only one bed…

A/N: How could I not find a way to write the fanfic classic with my favorite boi? The fact that even took me this long?? I’m ashamed… Seriously tho I love this fic so much lmao

Masterlist

This could not be real.

You examined the room that had been essentially what Nishinoya explained-on the small side, but an open concept that made it more than comfortable. However, you immediately froze because where you were expecting some sort of living space was instead just one bed shoved against the wall. A detail that had been conveniently left out of his description.

You side-eyed Nishinoya’s amused smile with a glare.

“You did this on purpose,” you accused.

“I swear I didn’t,” he snorted, tossing his bag onto the bed nonchalantly. “Well, it’s possible I accidentally did, but it wasn’t on purpo-”

“What do you mean you ‘accidentally’ did this?”

“I’m not very good at Italian, okay?” Nishinoya threw his hands up. “I called last minute and there were so many words,” he crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at the bed. “I guess ‘full’ meant bed size and not a room ‘full’ of beds, huh?”

“I feel like numbers would’ve been a better indicator,” you mumbled, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“In hindsight, probably, but here we are.” He fell back onto the bed. “I’d go to talk to them, but it’s late and I don’t think I know enough to haggle.”

“This sucks,” you groaned, placing your bag beside him on the bed. He grinned up at you seeming unbothered by your circumstance.

“It could be worse. We could have no room at all,” he shrugged, digging through his own duffel for night supplies. “I did that once in Thailand because I tried to last minute find a place but couldn’t. Now that sucked.”

You raised your eyebrow at how casually he spoke about the situation, and he just ruffled your hair before heading toward the bathroom. Your stare lingered on the bathroom’s door before flickering toward the bed, narrowing your eyes at it and giving it a petty kick. This was a worst case scenario you had never planned for when you agreed to this trip with Nishinoya.

When you casually mentioned you were thinking about taking an actual vacation for your last spring break Nishinoya jumped on it. He eagerly told you how his travel expertise made him the best guide and after several years he could make it the cheapest trip possible. You were a little skeptical at first, but you had saved enough for a round-trip to Italy and he swore he’d pay for the majority of your food when you got there. It was the best deal you’d get.

The only problem was even after over three years of not seeing him your heart still did acrobatics when he wrapped his arms around you at the airport.

You glared at the bed that the universe had planted for your demise and huffed, grabbing Nishinoya’s bag and dropping it on the floor before climbing atop the plush mattress. His words continued to echo throughout the small room as he rambled from the bathroom, but you paid little attention as you dug through your suitcase for your own nighttime supplies.

“Does that sound like a good plan?”

You glanced over and tensed, quickly snapping your eyes back to your suitcase. Nishinoya had poked his head out of the bathroom with his hair now plastered down on his forehead which had always been your kryptonite. You cursed yourself, rubbing a fist over where your heart pounded against ribcage.

It hadn’t even been six hours since he picked you up from the airport and you were already freaking out. How were you supposed to handle the next two weeks?

“Are you even listening?” He pouted, then pointing his toothbrush to his duffel bag. “Why is my stuff on the ground?”

“‘Cause you’re sleeping on the floor.”

He was silent for a half a minute before asking with genuine confusion, “why am I sleeping on the floor?”

“Did you actually think we were sharing the bed?” You looked at his puzzled expression in disbelief. “It’s barely big enough for one of us.”

“I guess… you’re right.” He avoided your eyes and you swore his cheeks tinted pink, but he turned away and threw a thumb inside the bathroom to signal you could get ready. You left him grabbing stuff off the bed and tossing them onto the floor as you walked away with supplies cradled in your arms.

Once finished you stretched your arms high above your head while exiting the bathroom. You cocked your head to the side as you took in Nishinoya lying on the hardwood, one arm tucked under a pillow and a flimsy blanket thrown haphazardly across him as he scrolled through his phone. The sight sent an ounce of guilt coursing through you as you crawled on the bed, wondering why he left the comforter regardless of the already uneven circumstances.

He mumbled goodnight before crawling across the room to flicker off the lights and you shrunk into yourself at the lopsided grin he sent you. As you wiggled under the warmth of the comforter you grimaced at the cold that filled the room outside your cocoon. Was Nishinoya freezing on the floor?

You frowned, turning toward the window that took up a large portion of the wall beside you. The moonlight crept in and illuminated the room in a soft glow that allowed for vision despite the hour. You closed your eyes, listening to Nishinoya’s uneven breathing which informed you that he was far from sleep-not surprising given his uncomfortable position. You groaned internally as butterflies tickled your stomach like you were back in high school.

It wouldn’t be fair to force him to be miserable because you still harbored immature feelings. You slung your arm over your eyes, taking a calming breath before crawling toward the edge of the bed and peeking your eyes at him. His already open amber eyes flickered to meet yours and after several moments of contact a wicked grin spread on his lips.

“You better not move around in your sleep,” you grumbled, shuffling over as far as you could without falling off.

“No promises,” he laughed, pulling the comforter back and wasting no time wiggling underneath. Your cheeks warmed as he adjusted his pillow, shoulder pressing firmly against your back.

He could at least pretend to be uncomfortable with the situation.

Unlike him, it hadn’t taken you long to regret everything. You spent every second he’d been there counting the bricks in front of you hoping that if you bored yourself to sleep you wouldn’t keep having a heart attack everytime Nishinoya adjusted his position. 

“Can you stop freaking out?” Nishinoya asked annoyedly, you felt him roll to face your back. “You're making it hard for me to sleep.

“I’m not freaking out,” you scoffed, tightening your grip on the comforter.

“You haven’t relaxed since I got up here.” He poked your side and you jumped obnoxiously, helping prove his point further. You furrowed your brow frustratedly and pulled the comforter higher up your face.

“You’re looking too deep into nothing,” you lied. “I couldn’t care less that you’re here, Noya.”

You realized that came out meaner than you intended as the room filled with silence. You opened your mouth to correct it, but it slammed shut when you felt his forehead rest gently between your shoulder blades.

“Liar,” he said slyly.

You didn’t know how to respond because you were lying, but you didn’t think Nishinoya would ever call you on it. You sighed, glancing over your shoulder before mustering the courage to shuffle around and face his crooked grin.

“You’re making this more difficult than it has to be.” You deadpanned.

“Well, you’re acting like it’s torture.”

You rolled your eyes, but internally you wanted to scream that it practically was torture. He had no clue how long you had liked him and apparently, despite all logic, still did.

Nishinoya poked your fist that laid between you both. “I’m really glad you came,” he said, barely above a whisper.

“Me too,” you whispered. It was bizarre how much he’d changed, yet felt exactly the same. A little taller, less baby faced, but still the exact same sense of humor and goofy smile-even keeping his signature hairstyle.

You furrowed your brow, staring at the blonde strip of hair that rested on his forehead. You used to think it was dyed until seeing pictures of him post-high school, doubting his upkeep abilities without his sisters’.

Perhaps it was the late hour or the soft smile that rested on his lips, but you were filled with an usual bout of courage as you slowly lifted your hand to run your fingers through the strands laying on his forehead. His eyes widened at the contact, but he did nothing to stop you-even leaning down to give easier reach.

“I missed you,” he confessed under the cover of night and your fingers faltered.

You frowned when you met his eyes filled with sudden adoration. “Is this a scheme, Noya?”

He blinked, taken aback. “A what?”

“Like, invite me to Italy and then uh-oh one bed? How did that happen? Now I’m gonna smooth talk you while we’re in bed. ” You rolled your eyes pulling your hand back.

“I swear I’m not smart enough to come up with all of that.” He said, grabbing your hand and placing it back on his head. “I would never rely on my ability to smooth talk.”

You narrowed your eyes, ���I guess that’s true.”

“I’m way better than I was in high school.” He nodded proudly, which honestly wasn’t saying much. “I mean, if we were still in high school I wouldn’t be able to handle being in this room. Especially because I was, like, in love with you.”

Time froze as those words left his mouth. Your mouth hung open as you tried to process them and when he waved his hand in front of your face you sat up, pointing an accusatory finger down at him.

“What the hell do you mean you used to like me?”

“Uh,” he pushed your hand away. “I had a crush on you? It was pretty obvious. Everyone knew about it.”

“I didn’t know about it.” You stared down at your own hands in disbelief. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He looked up thoughtfully, “well, the last crush I had was in love with my best friend, so I wasn’t on a great streak.”

“That’s a stupid reason,” you frowned, poking his chest angrily. “I’m not Kiyoko. You had no idea what would’ve happened if-”

“Why are you so mad?” He grabbed your hand and held it tightly. “This was like four years ago.”

“Well, it was just… I sort of liked you too so that would’ve-.” You felt your face heat up as Nishinoya’s grip on your hand tightened and he shot up, as well.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Wha-you liked Kiyoko,” you poked his forehead with your freehand and he clasped that one as well. “After she started dating Tanaka you were all ‘I’m gonna travel the world’. The timing never felt right.”

“That’s stupid!”

“It makes more sense than, ‘I was on a losing streak’.”

“No, because I just figured there was no point in trying!”

“Well, I assumed you were leaving forever and didn’t want to be dead weight that-”

You were cut off by Nishinoya pulling you down to press your lips together. Your eyes widened at the sudden contact, staring at his squeezed shut eyes as you stiffly wondered what you were supposed to do. Definitely not having your eyes open like a creep, and kissing back would be a good idea too.

Just as you started getting yourself together Nishinoya pulled back with a concerned crease to his brow.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just… Was that okay?” He tilted his head, loosening his hold on your hands. You were too flustered to form a proper sentence and he took your silence as a bad sign. Panicked and without a plan you pulled your hands from his grasp to cradle his cheeks.

His eyes flickered down your lips and he leaned close; eyes drifting closed while he rubbed his nose lazily against your own, waiting for you to close the gap. The room’s silence felt deafening as you leaned the few inches forward to press your lips gently against Nishinoya’s. You felt the corners of his lips quirk upwards briefly before he wrapped his arms around your midsection to pull you closer against his chest.

Your heart reacted faster than the rest of you, leaping around your chest uncontrollably as you tried to focus on everything else: tangling your hands in his hair, matching the oddly skilled pace he managed to set, and remaining calm when he pulled you both back onto the bed. As the kiss’ languid pace grew in intensity you pulled back, catching your breath and he watched you lovingly, pressing his forehead against yours and rubbing his thumb against your cheek.

“You should visit more often,” he said with a dopey smile.

“Yeah, with all that money I have,” you deadpanned.

He pouted, wrapping his arms around your midsection to hold you impossibly closer while nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck, “well, I should visit you more.”

“With all the money you have?” You snorted, running your fingers through his hair. He groaned against your neck, sending a vibration down your spine. Then he pulled back, his face lit up with some revelation as he smashed your cheeks together.

“You can just travel with me after you graduate,” he laughed elatedly.

You blinked once. Twice. “That’s a pretty bold suggestion.”

“You didn’t say no.”

Your cheeks warmed and a dopey smile forced its way onto your lips, “I didn’t say no…”

Another breathtaking smile covered his face and he pulled you back to his chest,nuzzling his cheek against the top of your head. “I can live with that.”

You rolled your eyes, but revelled in the warmth that filled your chest as you gripped the fabric of his t-shirt. You couldn’t believe it took all these years to work through your feelings, simultaneously with someone like Nishinoya this was probably the only way it would happen. And even if nothing came of this in the end you were more than satisfied to have these next few weeks with him.

You snuggled against him, closing your eyes with a content smile resting on your lips. Just lying with him like this? It would be more than enough.

Tags: @nathalie707

[violetnotez]

I just read your headcanons about treating Mirio,shouto and bakugou's hounds and it was soooo cuuuute kafkksfbksgkbs I wonder if you can do the same headcanons for Izuko, Hitoshi and maybe Tokoyami? OwO ♡♡♡♡♡

Hey bb! So unfortunately I don’t write for Tokoyami 👉🏼👈🏼 but I totally got ya on Izuku and Shinso! ❤️

Original post

Music Collection | Tip Jar | Requests!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧ ✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ:

Izuku

Please be aware you will have to be this dude’s nurse 24/7

He is just always getting hurt

No matter what, he can promise you as much as he wants that he won’t get hurt or he’ll try his best to be safe...

Lmao that doesn’t happen

You don’t know how many times you’ll be hanging out with him, and you’ll notice he has a limp he won’t tell you about

Or he’ll be at your door, covered in scraps and trying to convince you “it’s nothing, really!”

You and Recovery Girl are like besties at this point

Worst part is unless he’s like at deaths door he REFUSES to act like it’s a big thing

Like “oh my fingers are purple and look like burnt chicken-it’s chill”

NO SIR IT IS NOT FUCKING CHILL

He takes pain like a champ tho, like he will grimace here and there but he’ll never do anything but that

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧

“Izuku-for the love of-“ you huffed our with exasperation as you struggled with the hem of his shirt. “-just take off your shirt!”

Poor Midoriya’s cheeks were on fire, his face very much resembling a red strawberry as his bruised digits wrapped around yours, trying desperately to keep his shirt down over his chest.

It wasn’t as if you’d ever seen him shirtless, you had seen him like that countless of times....he just didn’t want to worry you. Yeah his last patrol was a little-rougher-than the rest...but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle!

But deep down he knew it looked pretty bad, the bruises blossoming under his skin, deepening with each hour as they were still pretty fresh. And even though they stung, and made it hard to move in certain positions, and-yeah it was kinda hard to breathe in certain ways....he was fine, he swears!

You stopped your tug of war against Izuku, hands falling limp against his thighs, your body hovering over his legs.

“Izuku please,” you pleaded, eyebrows furrowing in sympathy, “I know there’s something wrong...I just want to make sure your okay!”

“I know, I-I just-“ he stuttered our, green orbs full of guilt, “I don’t want to worry you!”

You huffed, feeling defeat flood your body, as you softly caressed the hem of Izuku’s shirt, his favorite one....

His favorite shirt.

It was cruel to do this to him, and you knew it was wrong, but of course you wouldnt actually do it...but that overwhelmingly cruel light bulb idea was now stuck in your brain and wasn’t letting go.

You sighed yet again, this time with an over exaggeration and devilish grin on your face.

“Oh, that’s okay then...” you stated, your words sickly sweet and understanding.

Izuku perked up, unaware by your drastic change in demeanor.

“R-really?!? It is?”

You looked at his slightly relieved face, smile still on your lips. “Yeah of course! If you don’t want to take off your shirt, I can always just cut it off of you-“

Izuku audibly gulped, wise eyes growing even larger.

You-you wouldn’t right? You knew well that this was one of his favorite tshirts, as it had his favorite hero on it plus it was the comfiest one he owned...he wouldn’t ever find a tshirt he loved as much as this one.

Izuku stared at your face, trying to see pass a bluff...but you were good at hiding your true emotions, eyes glinting mischievously in the hazy warm lights.

“So whats it gonna be ‘Zuku?” you asked softly, slowly trailing under the cloth of his shirt, leaving a lowing hum of electricity on his skin. “The scissors are right there after all-“

“I-I’ll take off the shirt,” he said sheepishly, cheeks glowing a shade of red.

You giggled at his expression, thankful he took the bait as you took his face in your hands, your thumbs trailing his infinite freckles.

He could be stubborn, but he always gave in...eventually.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧ ✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ:

Shinso

Really doesn’t like being “taken care of”

Like don’t get me wrong, you dotting over him makes him all warm and fuzzy inside,,,

But, idk, he just doesn’t like the feeling of being weak

Kind of like Izuku, tried to deny the fact he’s hurting

But he is much easier to persuade

Usually just takes a kiss or two and he gives in to your efforts

If you have to bandage him up, he likes to be a big flirt to cover up his grimaces

Gives you a bunch of blush worthy compliments,,,,,

Calls you his “Nurse Babe”

Whatever the hell that means

Honestly, after an hour of having your whole attention on him he is hooked

He will never be the same again...he is a hoe for that attention for eternity now 💀

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧

Your finger were feeling as if they were being tugged out their sockets, the huge bucket of soft soppy warm water sloshing dangerously in its container.

You stepped into the room where a bruised up Shinso lay on the floor, hand lazily scrolling on his phone.

Hearing you enter the room, his head tilted towards you, his once bored expression peeking up into curiousty. His violet eyes watched you intently as you set down the bucket with a huff, kneeling next to his body as you submerged some towels in the luke warm water.

“Whatcha doin’ doll?” He asked, voice still gruff from a nap he had taken a few minutes prior.

You simply continued your work, small smile on your lips as you placed a few towels in the floor.

“Well, since the doctors said you weren’t clear for a shower or bath for the night,” you stated softly, “I thought I’d give one myself.”

“So a sponge bath?” Shinso said plainly. “I’m not some old man, kitten, I’m perfectly fine to take a bath-hell, I can take a shower just fine.”

You clicked your tongue against the roof of your mouth, shaking your head at him.

“When your bruises aren’t the color of your hair, maybe I’ll believe you-“ you gave him a small grin, swallowing down a ball of saliva. “-now take off your shirt.”

Shinso simply chuckled, an exasperate sigh leaving his lips. He knew too well that you were determined to nursing him back to health (even though he felt he was perfectly fine)....so really, there was no point in trying to believe him. And at this point...he wasn’t to sure he even wanted you to.

Having all your undivided attention on him was...nice-even if he hated admitting it.

“Doll, if you just wanted me to strip down...” he said cheekily, that shit eating grin plastered on his pale skin. “All you had to was ask.”

You rolled your eyes playfully, helping hin slowly peel his shirt off his skin-thank god it was a button down, or this would have been a hell of a lot harder.

But sitting in his lap, hands trailing gently against the soft skin of his abdomen and those piercing eyes watching your every move...it wa snaking your body feel particularly too hot for an otherwise cool room.

“Aw, you poor thing,” Shinso cooed with an air of arrogance, “are you flustered?”

“N-no,” you stuttered, kicking yourself internally for your obvious slip up, “I’m just wondering how the hell you lost so hard to get so many bruises.”

Shinso chuckled at your feeble attempt at a comeback, loving how you were so affected by this change in the atmosphere.

He deifnitely wnated to capitalize on this moment, his digits cradling your face as he forced you to look at him.

He grinned yet again, teeth biting his bottom lips as he gazed at you with a hungry look.

“Aw, but you are-” he murmured, his voice dropping an octave.

“-It’s okay doll, you don’t have to hide it from me...I like seeing you like this,”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧ ✧･ﾟ: *✧

[stargaze-issei]

— 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐤 𝐭𝐨𝐤 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐝 + 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫-𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧 !

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭; karasuno and fukurodani react to their manager doing the body count/bodyody audio tik tok ! [insp by this tik tok]

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞; crack(?

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬; suggestive themes, maybe a little swearing i can't remember ajaksjq.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞; the trend it's to put pictures of all the people you've slept with, in case anyone doesn't know!!

karasuno !

-> it was a joke, it wasn’t supossed to get out of the thrid year managers gc.

-> the girls found it hilarious and was a good conversation topic for hours, discussing who you put or didn’t put.

-> they knew, of course, it was fake. you hadn’t slept with oikawa, KYOUTANI, BOKUTO, tendou, atsumu, TERUSHIMA and OSAMU.

-> it was SO obvious it was a joke for them that nobody felt the need to point it out.

-> they just said things like “the most quiet are the worst ones” “OMG DETAILS ABOUT THE TWINS!!” “did terushima yk,, made a good use of his percing” because they KNEW nothing was real.

-> until tanaka and sugawara asked kiyoko for her phone to watch some videos of the new play they were trying.

-> and misaki, from johzenji, sent a “forget about teru— 🤢 can’t even say it,, Y/N I WANNA HEAR ABOUT BOKUTO!!! ik man’s  p a c k i n g”

-> tanaka looks at suga and suga looks at tanaka and they’re like .......tf

-> suga’s finger “slips” and they see the other messages until finally they reach your video.

-> you’re there looking pretty as usual and above your head reads “seems like were showing our body counts with this sound? here it’s mine 🤪”

-> tanaka is about to say “it can be what we’re thinking” but when OIKAWA’S picture appears both their jaws hit the floor.

-> nishinoya sees them and ofc he wants to know what’s so shocking, so he gets closer.

-> he drags hinata too, and shoyo’s like “that’s the great king!! play it again!! play it again!!”

-> fyi: suga paused the video because wOW and they don’t know who’s left in your video.

-> sugawara looks straight in the eye at nishinoya, going “keep hinata, kageyama and yamaguchi away and bring the team” with the MOST SERIOUS EXPRESSION

-> noya is lowkey scared??? like wtf??? but does as he’s told bc suga seems super intense.

-> kiyoko and yachi left to fill the bottles and pick some needed implements from the club room, you had classes for a few more minutes, therefore, there was nobody to stop them.

-> once the rest of the team, including tsukishima because everyone seemed to have forgotten he was a first year too, is together, suga plays again the video, while the littlest ones watch from afar in curiosity.

-> the silence, you will never hear them in a more tense silence.

-> they read what’s your tiktok about, daichi’s eyes go O.O, asahi goes RED, nishinoya seemed to be ready to FIGHT THEM ALL, ennoshita awkwardly laughs, even tsukishima blushes a little.

-> then oikawa appears. EVEYRONE’S EYES ARE FULLY OPEN AND NOYA LET’S OUT A GROAN???

-> but when kyoutani shows up they’re in SO much shock they kinda forget oikawa before, and daichi whispers an “oh god”

-> then it’s BOKUTO’S TURN and tsukishima just stops functioning. asahi is static on his place contemplating, withouth being able to form a coherent thought.

-> suga highkey wants the tea.

-> tendou feels like a betray to asahi, tanaka and tsukishima. noya, just for a second, wonder what was that like.

-> ATSUMU AND OSAMU FUCKING MIYA AND THEY EXPLOTE.

-> THE EXPLOTE LIKE WHAT????? WAS IT AT THE SAME TIME???? Y/N?¡¡¡¿¿1

-> they aren’t ready for the cherry on the top at the end, a picture of terushima sticking his tongue out, sweaty after a match, SMOKING HOT, and it’s not a picture he posted to his social medias or anything.

-> it’s only suga, and daichi a little bit, who realize that if that picture isn’t public, then either he send it to you or YOU TOOK  IT.

-> that’s when you walk in the gym, just to say hi before going to change.

-> the first year are playing among each other and you are like ????

-> they don’t even notice you’re there so you go nearer to see what they’re watching. and you see the picture of tersuhima yukie, from fukurodani, once sent asking misaki WHY her kouhais where that hot. it was also the only picture you had of him and the one you used in you video the day before.

-> the phone in suga’s hands seems familiar and... that’s kiyoko’s

-> “Y/N” screams asahi when he sees  you and the rest looks like they saw a ghost.

-> a second of silence goes before everyone blows in questions and you just hear names between bambling, “OIKAWA MNASNANPGDF” “MANASKL BODY COUNT ASLKLAS” “MAD DOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

-> and daichi makes himself heard despite the screams.

-> “y/n, i know you’re 18 and capable of making your own decisions, but we have to talk about... physical relationships, with our rival teams”

-> kiyoko arrives and quickly puts two and two together and asks yachi to go check on the first years.

-> she looks at you and sees you like WHAT TF DO I DO and nods and say “you shouldn’t have gone through my phone, no matter how curious you are, sugawara-san” COLD AS ICE ISTG.

-> AND SHE CONTINUES “what who y/n does or doesn’t do on her free time is none of your business, all of you, if she decides to get together with anyone it’s just up to her. you should be ashamed of yourself, specially the third years. you weren’t just violating y/n’s privacy, but mine, kaori’s, yukie’s and misaki’s. it may have been a joke, or not, but it doesn’t give you the right. if you ever do something like this again, we will be talking with coach ukai and takeda sensei” SHE GRABS YOUR ARM, TURNS AROUND, CALLS YACHI AND YOU THREE LEAVE LIKE QUEENS????

-> once you’re in the club room, both you and kiyoko start laughing because the team was FROZE in place. not even daichi was so scary.

-> the team then apologizes to both and send an audio to the groupchat too, and never bring the subject uo again.

-> still, they all wonder everyday if you really did or not.

-> and of course, they get so defensive when they see any of the boys in the video it’s hilarious to you and the other managers.

— fukurodani !

-> damn yukie making up dares that always ended up bad for either you or kaori.

-> mostly you doe.

-> at a sleepover, she was like let’s make fake body count vids and who falls asleep first has to show them tomorrow at practice!!! it will be fun!!!

-> you accepted because you usually fell asleep after one of them did but that time it was like they gave you a sleeping pill because you fell like a rock after a few hours.

-> as to why you were there, the day after, about to go ask the team if you should post it.

-> you list consisted on kenma, kita, sakusa, daichi, and just for the fun of it, konoha.

-> the girls call konoha aside so he doesn't ruin the prank, and you proceed.

-> "hey guys, should i post this?? i’m not sure if i look good enough to be seen by the world” bokuto practically yells at you that you always look pretty before taking your phone from your hands.

-> “why don’t you ask yukie or kaori?” asks akaashi, that was a question you hand’t thought about and by pure luck, you were saved by bokuto yelling at the team to come and see what you’ve done.

-> konoha is about to head their way and yukie just grabs his arm like “no ❤️"

-> and nobody can contradict yukie’s no so he has no choice but to stay.

-> anyways

-> the team gather around bokuto, who is about to press play. at first it’s just your face, and everyone agree you look pretty.

-> but then they read “did anyone say body count? ;)” and they look at each other like ......what

-> washio leans to stop the video because he genuinely doesn’t know what body count is, sarukui explains it a little too loud, grinning, and washio goes "oh–"

-> thanks to sarukui’s explanation bokuto confirms his idea because one part of him did think it was how many people you’ve killed.

-> they press play again and kenma appears and bokuto just stares, doesn’t react.

-> akaashi’s eyes widened and he GASPS, washio can’t hide his disappointment mostly because why would you make this video and then show it to them.

-> when kita shows up bokuto lets out a surprised squeak, along with washio that’s just question your and his whole existences-

-> sarukui is smirking, his complete expression yells “way to go y/n!!!”

-> sakusa comes as a shock to every one of them, even sarukui loses the grin for a bit.

-> “how did you manage to...?” whispers akaashi, half amazed, half grossed.

-> bokuto then has to pause it for a little to keep his composure, he looks at your like WHY WOULD YOU MAKE ME GO THROUGH THIS

-> but when they resume it and daichi welcomes him he thinks it just can get any worse.

-> washio is like “isn’t that karasuno’s–?”

-> “HELL YEAH IT IS” SHOUTS SARUKUI AND THE GIRLS BEHIND YOU LAUGH SO HARD BECAUSE HE IS SO PROUD OF YOU.

-> the rest is like 🧍‍♂️ while sarukui is SO happy for you LMAO.

-> it’s at the end when no one smiles. konoha’s picture smiles at them and bokuto just stops the video to look at him, only a few meters away.

-> he looks at the picture and then at konoha and so on.

-> can’t get his mind around it????? lowkey no one can.

-> akaashi isn’t even blinking and his eyes are concerningly open, washio is regretting all his past choices that led to this moment.

-> sarukui death stares at konoha. no more fun sarukui, he crossed the line.

-> kaori and yukie are wheezing WHEEZING I SAY and konoha is so confused.

-> his teammates look like dogs about to attack but he hasn’t done anything to upset them?? has he??

-> like robots, akaashi and bokuto get up and walk towards konoha. a part of you tells you to protect him but... what are they going to do tho...

-> “you’re out of the team” THEY SAY AT THE SAME TIME AND ALL AND KONOHA GOES WHAT

-> your co-managers can’t even breath istg NO HELP

-> you then intervine trying to keep konoha in the team lmao “IT’S FAKE GUYS!! A PRANK!! KAORI!!!! YUKIE!!!! BACK ME UP!!! I’M KIDDING DON’T KICK KONOHA OUT”

-> akaashi partially believes you, but bokuto?? nope.

-> you planted the seed on his mind.

-> the whole team acts weird when they see guys from your vid and are looking for chances to bark at konoha.

-> “AKAASHI HAS TO STAND BETWEEN YOU TWO ALL THE TIME” that’s the new rule he set.

-> just to see them freak out, konoha sometimes flirts with you at practice ;)

[stylesann]

Stark’s retirement plan

Steve Rogers x fem!reader

Summary: Steve looks for his happy ending.

Warnings: none?

A/N: idk what this is… I just felt excited about writing and apparently the only thing I’m able to do is twist Steve’s ending 145 times because I did not enjoy cannon version hihi, and welll this is the results tho it might be really bad i still wanted to post lol, bear in mind english is not my first language so there could have some mistakes anddd to finish, any comments are appreciated 💕 💕 -> written and posted 16/06/21 ->I do not own any marvel characters or anything really

Masterlist

“You're a good man, Sam. This one's on me, though” Steve answered his friend and directed himself to Bucky. “Don't do anything stupid 'till I get back.”

“How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you” they both chuckle and hug. Bucky knows something is up with Steve, he knows him and he sees all the signs that something is making him nervous, unsettled. “Gonna miss you, Buddy.”

“It's gonna be okay, Buck” Steve assures his friend. Truth is, he is not sure it will. Steve’s been anxious, every since he saw her that day he couldn’t help but feel his heart ache. All he wanted was to go straight to her and hug her and never let go. He knows he has a decision to make, an important one in fact, but he can’t help but wonder the consequences that the deepest desires of his heart would cause in the timeline, and that itself makes him pray everything will work out as planned for once in his life. Steve goes over to the Quantum portal and activates the time-travel suit.

“How long is this gonna take?” Sam asks.

“For him? As long as he needs. For us? Five seconds… Ready, Cap? Alright. We'll meet you back here, okay?”

“I’ll see you in a minute” Steve tells his friends before he disappears on the platform.

***********

“Steve!!”

“Steve, answer the coms! Are you seeing this??” Steve hears the voice screaming at his past version while you’re all fighting the Wakanda Battle. It’s you. God, he has missed you so much during the past 5 years. He almost cries knowing what is to happen in the near future to you. He can’t let it happen again.

Steve knows his past version is too far from where you where fighting many aliens all by yourself. He knows that what you where referring is a few alien ships arriving from the sky, and normally he would go directly to you but Thanos is about to show up in Wakanda and take all of his attention. Back then, he couldn’t have reached you on time to stop that alien from stabbing you seconds before half the universe is turned to dust. But now, damn him if he wouldn’t be there to take you out of the battle alive.

Steve knows he had to act quickly so that everyone would assume you just got dusted too. When people were to show up in 5 years and you didn’t… well he would worry about that later.

The soldier sees the aliens trapping you in the middle of them and they start to close the circle, leaving you with less and less space to defend yourself from their attacks. You were losing. He could see your movements slower and you were clearly tired. Your breath was heavy and you had injuries on your arms and torso. Steve decides now is a time as good as any to get you out of here. He steps out of his hiding place and runs to you.

With Steve there you both manage to get the aliens down. You seemed to be ready to thank him when the atmosphere changes. What was before a chaotic battle noise, now was silence. That was it, Thanos had snapped his fingers, and Steves time gap to act was getting smaller. He grabbed your hand and dragged you to where he was waiting before. The confusion was evident in your face but he didn’t have the luxury to explain it to you in the moment, so he just asks you to trust him and you both wait until it’s safe to leave without people seeing you or him.

************

Steve could hear the raindrops outside while he prepared a tea for you. He looked out of the kitchen window and spoted you sitting in a small couch that you both decided to put on the front porch of your house. You were wearing his big sweatshirt and had a blanket covering your legs, the perfect description of cozy if someone ever asks Steve.

The weather was chilly but Steve couldn’t feel any happier. He had you, he finally had you in his arms after spending so long without hearing your voice or feeling your touch. He spent 5 years missing your presence, your quirks and your habits. He felt so empty, like a man out of time again. He was out of time with you, except that now he wasn’t.

As soon as you both had been able to leave Wakanda without being caught, he told you what had happened. It wasn’t as if you hadn’t realised his face seemed more tired and older than hours ago, when you had last seen his past self. To you it was obvious when you looked at him, at his eyes that carried the weight of the world, that he was there for a reason. It was clear to you that you wouldn’t had made it out alive if he hadn’t interfered with the aliens and so you understood beforehand what he would tell you, but Steve still had to explain everything else, and he did.

The soldier cried a lot when he told you what life without you was like and it broke you heart to see such a strong man in such a fragile state. Steve then mentioned Stark’s plan of retirement, of moving out of town and starting a family maybe, and he said he wanted that with you, which you agreed.

And now you both lived in a simple house in front of a small lake, that had a lot of trees around which provided the most beautiful sight wether it is a sunny or a rainy day. The house was far away from the avengers compound, you both pretty much spend 5 years secluded without seeing your friends in order to not mess too much with the timeline. But there was one change that couldn’t be avoided and you as much as Steve knew that he would have to reveal in a couple of months, when the avengers were supposed to bring everyone back from the dust.

“How is my two favourite people in the world?” Steve chants from the door. He hands you the tea and hugs your side while you accommodate to his body.

“We’re good, the baby is sleeping I guess, he just stopped moving” you chuckle lightly as your hand goes to your belly to caress you 8 month bump. You feel Steve’s hand on your bump and you see him sporting the biggest grin.

“You sleeping there J?” He lowers his head and whispers to the baby, receiving no kicks back.

“Yeah, definitely sleeping. Probably tired from the party that he threw this morning on my belly. I swear I couldn’t sleep 3 hours straight” you yawn tiredly.

“One more month and he’ll be here with us, honey” you cuddle closer to him as you drink your tea. One more month and your baby James will be here. Just one more month and you both are gonna be the happiest ever.

************

“And returning in, five, four, three, two, one–“ Bruce activates the Quantum platform, but nothing happens.

“Where is he?” Sam asks nervously, wondering if something went wrong.

“I don't know. He blew right by his time stamp. He should be here.”

“Well, get him back.”

“I'm trying.”

“Get him the hell back!”

“I said, I'm trying!

“Sam...” Bucky calls, he’s looking at a man sitting in a log. They both walk closer to see Steve, a few years older, wearing normal clothes but caring a round bag with him.

Sams the first one to approach. “So did something go wrong, or did something go right? You look older, no offence”

“Well, after I put the stones back, I thought, maybe I'll try some of that life Tony was telling me to get.” Steve answers, he knew the past few months made an impact in his appearance, considering the baby wouldn’t let you or him sleep for too long. It’s almost laughable that the great Captain America was taken down by his baby son.

“And how'd that work out for you?”

“It is beautiful. And that’s why I can’t have this anymore” Steve hands the shield to Sam. “You’re the best man for the job, and I know you’ll make it proud… How does it feel?”

“Like it belongs to someone else.”

“It doesn’t.”

“You wanna tell me about her?” He asks seeing a wedding ring on his friends finger, and Steve smiles getting up to go back to you and your son.

“Eventually, but for now, I don't think I will.”

[srirachvbi]

Kageyama and Bokuto taking their kids to practice headcanons !

request: hihi i was wondering if you can do a continuation of the bringing their kids to practice with some of the other haikyuu characters? i’d love to see it with kageyama especially but honestly you can pick anyone! thank you :)

a/n: i AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG... I have no excuses, i was too sad about haikyuu e wording but i have read threads on how to write characters on twitter and i am thriving... so n e ways i was looking for a reason to write more of these because i just... love the idea of this so tsym for requesting!! if i write more parts, i might do hoshiumi, hinata, atsumu, and... maybe oikawa? i’m a huge bokuto stan so his might be longer than kageyamas im sorry <3 and and ik that kageyama goes to italy but for the sake of i want to write other characters, i will be using the adlers oops. i will also be only doing probably two characters per post for these because i write so much for it. LMAO ALSO these are super unrealistic this would NOT be allowed during pro sports practices but for the sake of entertainment, let’s just... do it warnings: manga spoilers

Bokuto Koutarou

He had been wanting to bring Kaori to practice for a while but each time he tried to, you would be like no bitch </3 

heart been broke so many times

When you told him that you had to go into work and couldn’t schedule the nanny in time, he was like “I’LL TAKE CARE OF HER!!!”

Honestly you were only against him taking her because you were still mad at him for leaving her in the high chair for a while and you came home to her crying and him just knocked out 

Like... Kou, pls <3 

He had brought Kaori into post game interviews before but you were always there so this would really be the first time he’d take care of her by himself for a period of time longer than an hour

He’s a good parent dw !! he had just spent the whole night thinking about the most random shit and he ended up sleeping like three hours 

He was thinking about horses cause Ushijima brought them up in an interview >:0

You were still mad tho 

It had been a while and he had actually shown to you that he could take care of her by himself so you were fine with him taking her to practice

He was super pumped and was practically shaking in excitement (he was texting Akaashi the whole morning asdlfjskdf)

Bokuto-san AGHASHEE!!!!! Y/N IS LETTING ME TAKE KAORI  TO PRACTICE!!!!!!!!! AGHASHEE Congrats, Bokuto-san. 

That conversation but every two minutes

I’m sorry Akaashi <3 

He also texts the whole group chat and Hinata’s equally as excited

Kaori and Hinata were best friends !!!! She literally loved him

Like he would put her on his shoulders and they’d run around for hours

How he has so much energy goes beyond everyone but it’s fun to watch 

You lectured him for half an hour about what he should do in certain situations and unlike most times, he listened really well because :(( the baby cares about Kaori

Both Kaori and him actually walked with you to the train station and saw you off before heading to practice !! 

He normally drives to practice because he has a super nice car and it’s easier to drive with Kaori instead of public transportation

When they get to the gym, he goes running in with Kaori on his shoulders 

“WE HAVE ARRIVEEEED!!!!!!!!” 

cue Hinata cheering super loudly

Kaori’s giggling and being all cute omg i love her

She was being carried in on her dad’s shoulders so Bo lets her down and she immediately runs (read: waddles quickly) to Hinata

“Hinata-nii!!!!”

Hinata starts crying-- jk, no

He goes “Kaori-chan!” and scoops her up in his beefy arms 

BEEFY HINATA BEEFY HINATA BEEFY HINATA

Sorry

She’s giggling and she like kisses his cheek and everyone’s like “so cute...” ohmyogd babies

Similar to her dad, she’s super friendly!! and a bit simple minded

It’s literally in her blood to not actually hate anyone so she gets along with EVERYONE at practice

She even makes the coach super soft omg

Atsumu’s just watching her and being like “child. want. child-- oh god, i need a kid.” cause she’s just so god damn cute

Lol atsumu having twins cause it’s a gene or smth idk biology

I barely passed bio please spare me <3

I actually got an 80 smth on my final last year don’t listen to me

Sakusa being hesitant at first to be near her but she’s actually super sweet to him!!

CAUSE LIKE HER DAD SHE’S ACTUALLY REALLY EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT AND CAN READ PEOPLE REALLY WELL

like she saw Sakusa’s face and was like “oh!! I remember what dad said!!” 

Kou talks about his teammates a lot and somehow Kaori remembered him telling her about how Sakusa’s a germaphobe so she’s like

“Sir!! I washed my hands!! I’m not dirty!!” and he

He just 👁👄👁 

He thinks she’s cute and treasures her now

Suddenly Kaori has a whole team of dads

it’s okay

Bokuto itching to let her play volleyball but at the same time worrying about her if she does

It’s like the angel and the devil on his shoulders

One sides like

let her pLAY!!!!! LET HER PLAY (read it as if it’s the LEt ME INNN meme)

While the other sides like

👁👄👁 (y/n) will kill me if she gets hurt and i’ll kill myself if she gets hurt and hinata will kill me if she gets hurt-

In the end he gives her a volleyball after she asks once and he’s like ‘PFFT KAORI-CHAN IF YOU INSIST’ while she’s like

dude i asked to play once and normally someone disagrees with me tf are you on, sir? 

she tries to pick the ball up but it ends up being half her size and it’s just... such a cute image

Bo takes a picture of it and sends it to you!!

You reply back in seconds lol

Kou-kun ❤💖 [image.jpeg] LOOK AT HER!! FUTURE PRO (Y/N)-CHAN!! (Y/N) MY LOVE ❤💕❤💕💕❤💕❤💕 be careful letting her hold that it’s too big!! but so cute!!! have fun taro <3

He ends up taking the ball away after a bit because she can’t walk while holding it

Eventually practice has to start tho so he asks her to sit on the bench and she’s an obedient angel and does so !!

The whole time she’s like swinging her legs and watching her dad practice

It’s fun for her to see him play 

Okay but like I’ve said, she’s similar to her dad

At one point at practice during a break, she stole Atsumu’s water and was running around the gym with him chasing her

He was ofc not actually chasing her cause he found it cute that she was trying to steal his stuff

Lol Sakusa being like “oh, you can’t catch up to a child? are your knees getting bad, old man?”

Atsumu’s like “bro, we’re the same age”

Sakusa ignores him

She ends up TRIPPInG AND ATSUMU’s LIke “Oh fuck” 

SHE CRIES

omg Bokuto’s like “tsum tsum-- do you want to die 👁👄👁🗡” because she just got hurt because of him

Atsumu picks her up and is apologizing so god damn much

This is the first time anyone’s seen Bokuto remotely irritated

Kaori: WAAAHHHH

Atsumu: please, child... i don’t want to die today... please... shhhhhhh

He lets her down and she walks (read: waddles) over to her dad and is giving him puppy eyes omg

Bokuto stops being mad and scoops her up and he’s like “did Kao-chan get a boo boo” and she nods, sniffling

Ohmygod dad bokuto dad bokuto dad bokuto stop

suddenly I actually want kids

no

Shion ends up getting a first aid kit since Meian asked (woah more black jackals players except I don’t really know how to write for them??? woahhh)

Shion roasts Atsumu with Sakusa for letting her fall and suddenly Atsumu’s the bad guy

lol

By the end of practice tho Kaori’s fine !!!

She’s back to her regular happy self so cute :(

She asks Bo to call you and when you pick up she shows you her bandaid on her knee and is like “Miya-san was chasing me and I fell!!”

Suddenly Atsumu feels a cold chill and knows you found out lol

Hi this is (y/n), and you’re watching disney channel-

good luck, atsumu *stops camera*

Kageyama Tobio

He

sigh

He would be equally as confused as a father as Ushijima

It’s okay, he’s trying his best

You normally work from home so you guys haven’t really hired a nanny! 

And if you needed someone to watch your guys’ son, Sho (which can mean to fly oho see what I did there I’m so smart), you just drop him off at your parents’ house or Miwa’s!

WAIT SHO... SHOYO... WAIT I DIDN’T EVEN DO THIS ON PURPOSE IM LITERALLY

However, today was the only time you had to go in for like the next few months and both your parents and Miwa are busy

So, you enlist in your husbands help

“Tobio... I need you to watch Sho...” 

He spits out his milk “wHAT” cause like,, he’s hardly taken care of Sho by himself and normally had either his sister or you around

He doesn’t actually spit out his milk-- you’d kill him if he did because it would be a pain in the ass to clean up <3

It takes a bit of convincing being he’s really nervous about taking care of Sho!!

Okay but he’s a great dad dw it’s just he’s nervous about having another human being literally rely on him completely

You also just remind him that Romero’s a father so he won’t be completely on his own while taking care of Sho

So he somehow gets to the gym with Sho in one piece but he’s literally so stiff like bro, i need you to relax

Hoshiumi yelling “KAGEYAMA SHO!!!!!!!” and Sho (who has actually met the team like two times) goes like “HOFIUMI-SAN!!!!!” 

Sho’s a bit of an energetic bby-- he’s less emotionally constipated than his dad <3

He’s... he reminded you guys of Shoyo and well, you thought it would be nice to name him after his god father

No this isn’t a kagehina post i swear i love them but this is me saying that i love their friendship sm omg stop im gonna cry 402 really just popped into my head again

Hoshiumi getting mad when he sees that Sho has actually grown even though he’s a grown ass man and the little toddler would not, in fact, be catching up that soon

“KAGEYAMA SHO HAVE YOU GROWN >:0000!!!!!” 

Sir, pls... sit down

The Adlers all love Sho since they’ve come into contact with him like twice at games before 

Ushijima just... doesn’t know how to interact with Sho

He just stares down at him and honestly Sho stares back up without fear

Kageyama Sho: no (0) fears 

I think it’s cause his father gives a similar stare sometimes and he just... got used to it

Ushijima gives him that stare and Sho just goes SIGH this again

Jk he’s a baby

He literally looks up at Ushiwaka and gives him this cute ass grin and Ushijima’s like “oh, children are very cute.”

Thank you, Wakatoshi-kun

Romero does, in fact, give Kags some tips about fathering and ends up showing pictures of Rubens to the team (love that) 

OKAY BUT LIKE OFF TOPIC FROM THE PRACTICE BUT

Sho being such a big fan of Hinata and being like “woAHHH!!! I’M NAMED AFTER HIM!!!” 

Hinata rubs it in Kags face because Sho practically idolizes him

anyways

Practice starts and Sho’s just sitting on the gym floor with a volleyball in his hands cause he

Kags just giving newborn Sho a volleyball and expecting him to become acquainted

It worked

Sho’s used to holding onto volleyballs and even tries to hit it but everytime he did, he’d fall backwards onto his lil bum and would be like :(

Kageyama watching from the other side of the gym and his heart just goes AHHHHHHHHHH

He’s about to cry that is the cutest thing he’s ever seen

Sho making sure he doesn’t interrupt practice!!! and like chasing after the ball to make sure it doesn’t go onto the courts!!!

Cute babs is so good :(

He ends up tripping tho and starts to tear up and Kags is watching during practice and goes “OH GOD”

He’s literally whipping his head from Sho to his coach and has this desperate look on his face 

he’s saying “JUST ONE BREAK!! JUST ONE, SIR!!” with his eyes and his coach just gives in

Kageyama going from one side of the gym to the next at insane speed

Sho: dad :((( i hwurt my knee :(((

Kags just picks him up and cradles him to his chest (he does this after making sure there’s no blood or anything-- it’s literally just a little bit red) 

Kags being a good dad just... WEAK

Only like two minutes later, Sho stops sniffling and is like “!!! go back to practice daddy!!” 

Kags does and he can’t focus on Sho anymore cause his coach would yell at him asldfjlsf

At the end of practice, Sho is like “dad i wanna play voweyball!!!!!!” and Kags heart just CLENCHES

He grabs his heart like that meme or smth 

You call them cause you know when practice normally ends and Sho’s just talking a lot and it’s so cute

He’s super excited and you’re like !!! My CUTE CHILD !!!!

Lol you tease Kags cause he was worrying about nothing

“Maybe I’ll let you take care of him by yourself more often Tobio” “Pls, I lost ten years of my life when I saw him fall pls not yet <3″ 

[padfootastic]

okay this is starting out re: your sex post, but it veers to the left halfway through and then you’re just being subjected to some of my musings about people offering their Opinions™️ about fics.

it’s so interesting that you mentioned in your tags that no one ever criticizes the non-sexual methods of building tension because as someone who doesn’t usually write about sex I swear I get it ALL the time. (eg “why can’t the boys just learn to communicate???” idk, anon, they’re 19 years old and only one of them has ever been to a therapist, you tell me)

I’d agree that sexual activity in fics is definitely more heavily scrutinized than non-sexual aspects, but I also think it’s funny that anonymous askers/readers/bookmarkers feel the need to offer their two sense about why x/y/z is inaccurate/ridiculous/annoying when many fic writers draw on their own lives for experience.

As an example, I’ve had a few people mention in notes on amicus curiae that they think Remus is being ridiculous for disliking Sirius as much as he does, but I cannot tell you how much of my own proclivity for ‘righteous anger’ Remus’ behavior is based in. He’s mad from the start because someone seemingly invalidated the accommodations that he/other disabled students may need during the school year, and honestly, I’ve seen myself hold on to far more foolish reasons for anger than that. I’d originally typed up a longer story as an example, but I’m sure you can think of some yourself so I won’t subject you to it lol

Anyway. I tend to assume that most of the human aspects of a work that I’m reading are in some way based on the author’s personal experiences—whether that be relational interactions, sexual encounters, tragedy—and try to look through that lens when I’m reading and commenting as a result. That’s probably not the norm, but it’s always been funny to me how many folks feel the need to provide the author with an itemized list of what’s wrong with their fic instead of just being like… hm, maybe this wasn’t for me and moving on.

I’m not usually someone who spends a lot of time thinking about reading/writing about sex for a number of reasons, but I can still appreciate that I have friends who write it well—and even more importantly, I can appreciate those things and make the choice not to read them if I think they’d made me uncomfortable, although DLDR doesn’t seem to be as widely accepted now as it was ten years ago (but that could be my bias talking).

Anyway (part two!) I’m with you on the sex front there—it can absolutely be a wonderful component of fics, whether it’s used in a significant way or just…used because a character wants to have a fun night and hook up with someone. It’s human! It’s normal! It should be just as acceptable as non-sexual scenes!

ngl miss andie i was so confused at first like ‘me? making a sex post? did i accidentally cross post??’ lmao

you bring up a great point here tbh. i’ve been *fingers crossed* lucky so far to only get the loveliest readers and haven’t had to deal with that kind of entitlement/sanctimonious attitude but comment lurking is one of my favorite activities so i’ve definitely seen it in other content creators’ spaces. in fact, the ‘this is so unrealistic/no one acts like this irl’ etc always gets me riled up because,,,,have these commenters never interacted with a real human?? people are complex and messy and imperfect and so, so problematic. they will do the stupidest shit for no reason other than they’re able to, and it doesn’t always make sense either (more than once, i’ve tried to look for my glasses while literally wearing them). i tend to do something similar tbh. assume that the author is pulling it out of somewhere, and even in the even they’re not, it’s fiction and it doesn’t have to make sense ykno? fanfiction is supposed to be fun and self indulgent; how does it matter if one character is being ridiculous or not?

(that being said tho, i was being v surface level in my tags lol. i didn’t exactly mean to include all ways of building tension bc every story needs some conflict, right? but i’ve seen this opinion a lot (for movies/shows/books) that sex is somehow ‘unnecessary’ most of the time. or that it’s the creator taking a lazy way out to pad their work. in contrast, with the non-sexual stuff, even when it doesn’t make sense in the larger story/character arcs, you often see popular tropes sprinkled in but getting nowhere near the same level of vitriolic resistance. no cries of ‘ew another miscommunication? that’s so gross. just say u can’t write and go’ type of shit. (to be fair, i don’t want those authors to get this feedback, just highlighting a double standard) and i do think part of that comes from a (sub)conscious view of sex as dirty/not meant to be openly talked about but no one wants to have that conversation here, least of all me lol)

but yeah, hard agree on the DLDR thing. i genuinely feel like things have become so hostile in fandoms lately because that and KINKTOMATO have all but eroded away, which is how you end up with all these people who equate fanfiction with paying for a service or commissioning an artist with the way they leave , like u said, ‘itemised lists’ of everything they don’t like/agree with. not everything is catered towards one person’s individual preferences and it doesn’t have to be.

[sarahjtv]

BNHA Chapter 309 Spoiler Thoughts: Izuku and Inko Midoriya, and Some More Things Along The Way

The chapter leaks are here again!  Thanks to all the people on Twitter and here on Tumblr for providing us with scans and translations.  This chapter helps explain some things that a lot of us were wondering about.  Sadly, there’s still no Bakugo, or Shoto, or any other UA kids really; they’re only in flashbacks.  But, we do get to see what All Might and the Top 3 Heroes (Endeavor, Hawks, and Best Jeanist) are up to, so that’s something.  Anyway, remember to take what I say with a grain of salt until the official translations come out on Sunday:

The chapter starts a few minutes after Deku beat Muscular.  He’s flying through the air taking an unconscious Muscular tied up in his Black Whip.  The other Ketsubusu Academy students from the Lisence Exam see him too.  Thankfully the stubborn civilians from 2 chapters ago are willing to help Yo Shindo recover in exchange for not listening moving to the school shelters.  Also, Shindo’s barely conscious, but he does actually remember Deku.  He’s just not the same Deku as before.  Not much for me to say here except that I wonder if Shindo’s going to help spread the word about Deku’s actions.  Not just to his classmates, but I wonder if the words’ going to get out to the news and UA.  Actually, word might not even get that far since Shindo was only one of the few people in that exam that really even interacted with Deku...

Deku hands Muscular over to the police for them to take care off.  He also makes sure to cover himself up in Smokescreen to hide his identity.  So, Deku really is working in the shadows here.  It is best that the public doesn’t know what Deku is doing so that the LoV don’t track him down.  My man’s really going down the Batman route.  Oh, I also have to admire Deku’s smartphone here kept in this steel case.  I was going to say it’s a burner phone, but burner phones break easily for a reason and this one clearly doesn’t.  Maybe it’s a special one that can’t be tracked down.    

And we finally get to see All Might again!  He is actively working with Deku instead of just not knowing where his protege is.  He’s wearing casual clothes (jacket, jeans, sunglasses, the works) when he meets up with Deku in an alleyway.  I’m honestly glad that All Might is still supervising Deku.  I mean, Deku on his own would’ve been badass, but when you’re going up against people like AFO and Shigaraki, you’re going to need some help.  Especially when laying low.  Even with supervision, I still think Deku counts as a vigilante b/c I don’t think his license works if he’s not at UA.  I will believe this unless proven otherwise.  

It’s explained that the “wrapping” on Deku’s arms are actually gauntlets called “Mid-Gauntlets”, which are what are helping hold Deku’s arms together.  And they are VERY similar to the gauntlets that Melissa Shield from Two Heroes gave Deku.  Deku even says that All Might ordered them from the USA before travel restrictions were put in place.  I know that it’s only implied, but there’s no doubt in my mind that Deku’s new gauntlets were made by Melissa.  Even if you want to doubt it, at this point, Two Heroes (and by extension Heroes Rising and probably the upcoming 3rd movie, World Heroes Mission) are canon.  Honestly, I’m cool with it.  I liked Melissa and I’m glad her presence is still around (she was even in a Team-Up Mission chapter with Hatsume).  I do wonder if we’re ever going to see her in the main story.  It would be nice to see Melissa again.

The gauntlets are test samples and are used to enhance endurance.  All Might says that they can’t withstand 100% of OFA yet.  Which means that Deku actually beat Muscular with less than 100% unlike their first fight where Deku had to use over 100% just to knock him out.  So, does this mean that, say, Deku’s current 45% is stronger than his 100+% back in the Forest Camp?  Or maybe it was just the combo of moves and strategy rather then Deku just punching his way through things.

Small detail, but All Might’s phone goes off with that “I AM HERE” ringtone we heard before and Deku comments that this particular one is from All Might’s Silver Age TV Special!  It’s such a small thing, but I love that Deku still has that All Might fanboy in him despite everything 💚!  Somethings truly never change.

And back to the Top 3: Endeavor, Hawks, and Best Jeanist!  Endeavor and Best Jeanist are teaming up to kick a villain’s ass while Hawks is talking to All Might on the phone.  It looks like Hawks got a few costume changes particularly his visor/glasses which look more boxy than they did before if that makes sense.  Oh, and they’re also helping All Might work with Deku.  Makes sense since all three vowed to help take down Dabi earlier and Shigaraki and AFO definitely extend from that.

Deku’s Danger Sense is going off, so he’s probably going to check out any danger he can find in case it’s the LoV.  I do wonder if that harms Deku still.  It was said that it felt like a stabbing in his head and it must’ve been bad enough for the 4th OFA Holder to live in the forest away from society.  Man, I really hope our boy is ok (I know he’s not really, let me have this).

But yeah, Hawks (still wingless, but with a nice little undercut btw😳) explains that Deku's afraid of dragging other people in his battles like All Might.  Hawks also goes on to say that it’s best to take the initiative in taking down AFO and Shigaraki rather than waiting for them to appear all powered up.  He also wants All Might to keep supporting him despite the difficult position he’s in (remember that All Might’s technically Qurikless again and can’t really fight on his own).  It makes sense for them to go after the Villains again while they can.  If Deku fought Shigaraki while Shigaraki was at full strength, Deku would lose easily.  Even at 75%, Shigaraki was able to kill and injure A LOT of people, and Deku was lucky to even make it out there alive.  They need to find Shigaraki SOON!  

Flashback to Central Hospital before Deku jumped UA ship!  Recover Girl and Central Hospital’s high-tech were responsible for many of the patience recovering quickly and being discarged.  Deku was just there a little longer than the others.  So, we can assume that all our UA kids and some notable heroes made it out alive after being treated.  Still don’t know what happened to some people like Tamaki and Fat Gum tho 😭.  

All Might and Deku’s mom, Inko (thank god she’s ok), are by Deku’s bedside as his casts are taken off.  Deku’s doctor (who looks like Super Mario/Luigi; the whole Super Mario crew must run this damn place.  Where’s Bowser and Princess Peach) explains that despite his former warnings about his ligaments, Deku’s limbs are still functioning because he’s not the same as he was before.  So, before, Deku’s injuries were like his limbs were exploding from the inside, but this time those “explosions” were able to escape his body.  Also his Black Whip cast helped keep Deku’s arm in tact so that he wouldn’t pulverize himself.  His ligimates are still degrading too, so Deku still has to be careful.  I think he might have a few more small scars too, but that could just be shadows or muscle lining from Horikoshi’s pen-work.  

Ok, honestly, I’m not sure how this logically works...  I’m no medical professional, but I assume this means that Deku’s built his body up so much that it’s naturally able to withstand more damage than before and that’s why he’s more durable.  But, I don’t know how Deku was able to let the “explosions” escape this time.  I get the reverse; I get how he got injured before, but I don’t get this.  Was it the Black Whip brace he made for himself?  I honestly don’t really understand this.  Maybe the official translations will clear this up.  Or Horikoshi will in a Tweet or Volume Extra.

And Inko is finally informed of OFA thank the gods!  She was in the top of my list of “People who should really, really know OFA and what’s going on with Deku because I swear...”.  She’s clearly shaken up as anyone would be, but I’m glad she at least knows what’s going on with her son.  Yes, she’s still worried, but at least she can stop guessing why all this is happening.  

Deku announces the reason why he won’t go back to UA and it’s basically that Shigaraki can sense where Deku is and he doesn’t want to see anyone else close to him get hurt and/or die.  So, basically what I thought would be the reason.  Absolutely no surprise there.  But, going after Shigaraki and AFO first was originally Deku’s idea, so that’s something new.  Kid’s bold.

And this broke my heart 💔!  Inko insists that Deku stay with her to stay safe, but Deku knows what he has to do.  So, he thanks his mom, thanks her for making him happy, and tells her that he’ll be ok and that he’ll come back home with a somber smile on his face.  We see a flashback to Little Deku and Inko too when they were happier.  Bro, I don’t even know what to say.  I am in tears just writing this 😭  I’ll just post these two panels so y’all can cry with me.  I will never recover from this.  I’m fucking devastated.  You better come home, Deku: 

*sniffs* All Might remembers what he said to Inko.  He remembers how he said that he will protect Deku with his life.  All Might encourages Deku to go and he says that he’ll go with him with tears in his eyes.  He asks the Top 3 to help with this mission (finding Dabi) as their own mission coincides with Deku’s (finding Shigaraki and AFO).  I’m so glad all these adults are staying by Deku’s side throughout this.  It’s good to know that Deku still has support, though I wish it were from some of his friends too.  Maybe one day.

Deku goes to see Grand Torino in his hospital room to talk to him about OFA.  He mentions his friend and 7th Holder Nana Shimura.  Torino thinks he was responsible for killing Shigaraki (he really wasn’t let's be real).  He also tells Deku that Deku shouldn’t be so persistent in saving Shigaraki as killing can sometimes lead to salvation. Ok, few things:

1. I am surprised Grand Tarino is still alive.  I mean, we don’t know what happened to him after this talk, but at least he got to hear from Deku again.  It’s kind of nice to know that Tarino willingly passed down his cape to Deku too instead of Deku just taking it after his death.  Also, I’ve been watching some of Jujutsu Kaisen like everyone else has and this give me some Yuji & his grandfather vibes to it.  Knowing what happens there and that JJK’s magaka is good friends with Horikoshi, I have a sinking feeling I know what happened after this talk...

2. Deku looks so much older here.  Like, it’s not that cute, innocent baby face we knew at the beginning.  I don’t even know what it is exactly (maybe the eyes), but he just looks more mature here.  Also, his uniform some buttons down looks really good on him, I’m sorry but I need to mention that too 💚.

3. “Killing is a means towards salvation”.  Oh, boy...  I mean, I get it.  Some people just can’t be saved or captured in hopes of rehabilitation/redemption.  Sometimes killing people is necessary to save others.  But, Deku is not a killer.  He will try to save Shigaraki no matter what.  That was established again last chapter.   He tried to save Muscular for god’s sake.  But, I am curious if Gran Tarino’s words are going to hold any weight in the final fight. Like, will Deku have to kill Shigaraki?  What will that do to Deku as a person?  I’m really curious if Horikoshi is going to make Deku do this.

And finally, there’s a page showing off the Top 3, Deku, and All Might team up with the resolve to beat the LoV.  I am really interested to see where this goes.  Deku is working with the big Pro Heroes instead of his classmates/friends.  This hasn’t really happened before.  I also wonder if Shoto and Bakugo know what Deku’s doing then.  Because Shoto’s going to help Endeavor and his family find Dabi.  Endeavor’s activley helping Deku.  Also, Endeavor and Best Jeanist are both Bakugo’s mentors.  All Might too actually.  Look, maybe I’m making excuses to see my Origin Trio together again, but I do have to wonder if Shoto and Bakugo are involved somehow.

Welp, that’s it.  This chapter was a rollercoaster!  I was excited, I was confused, I was worried, I cried my eyes out at one point because THOSE TWO PANELS I CANNOT 💔😭!  I’m honestly just waiting for Horokishi to drop some major time-skip on us at some point.  I don’t want him to, but I won’t be entirely surprised if he does.  The end of this chapter is a good place to end if Horikoshi wants to segway into something else like, oh IDK, THE UA KIDS LET ME SEE THEM AGAIN HORIKOSHI PLS I’M BEGGING 💸  

Me @ Horikoshi almost every week:

[just-call-me-the-intrusive-thot]

A Disasterous Loaf-Life

“Bread”

@weweregoddesses​

Pairings: Romantic Dukexiety

TWs: Swearing, Remus being Remus, Sexual Innuendos, Phallic Shaped Bread Creatures, some angst but not too much, Pretty Brief Heated Makeout, mentions of a parasite that affects humans, Implied Sexual Activities Post Fic End (no actual sex tho),

Summary: Two Pining Dumbasses Make Bread.

(This is so long I just got super carried away)

--

“Remus, is there a reason you’ve kneaded your dough into the shape of an ass?”

Virgil watched with a fond sigh as the man next to him proudly stood over the booty bread he’d lovingly crafted over the last ten minutes. 

“Not really,”, Remus cackled, raising his hands, “Except for this!”, and with that, he brought down his hands in a flurry of obscene slaps to the fake rear. Virgil maintained his composure for all of a minute before he had to physically restrain his snickering. 

God dammit, this fucking guy! Thirteen years and Remus was still the one person who could make him laugh like the world wasn’t watching. 

“Well, when you’re finishing pulverising your Glutenous Maximus, are you gonna finally tell me what you’re actually shaping your loaf into this time?”, Virgil snarked affectionately. 

Remus rolled his eyes; his emo dork was spending far too much time with Patton lately. 

“Same as the last time we did this, duuuh.”, he retorted, as if that were common knowledge.

Virgil’s eyes widened, “.... You’re not serious.”

“As serious as Naegleria Fowleri.”

“.. as what?!”

“Y’know, that fucked up brain eating amoeba that they found in that one Disney water park-”

“NEVERMIND!”, Virgil hastily shook the thought away as he tended to his own dough, “Don’t tell me, I’ll have nightmares for weeks...”

The hoodie clad mad looked Remus up and down as he folded his own purple dyed dough, “.... Are you really going to attempt the Cocktopus again? Seriously?”

Remus shrugged, already forming the eight ‘tentacles’ in stunningly graphic detail, “Why not? You’re making purple bread again, why don’t I do the same?”

Well, he had him there. Really, Virgil had gone to make his bread purple without even thinking about it. Perhaps just being next to Remus after all this time had subconsciously brought him back to that same summer day they’d spent in the kitchen side by side making bread together. Virgil could hear his mother’s old junkbox of a radio blaring Redbone’s Come and Get Your Love while he and Remus slung flour at each other and danced about in their socks trying not to slip. 

Being back in the same house - now passed down to him - making bread once again with Remus brought back so many memories and emotions. Most of them good, though as he looked over to the man he still loved absolutely going to town on his bread sculpting, Virgil couldn’t help but remember how much guilt he still harboured; he’d never expected Remus to kiss him out of the blue back then, but Virgil also hadn’t expected to silently run off to his room to calm down, only to find Remus had left. 

Not just his home, but his life. Virgil hadn’t wanted to face Remus, unsure of how to handle his feelings, but seeing the moving sign on the Duke family’s front lawn that next week as he watched the moving van leave just that little bit too quickly for Virgil to say goodbye had plagued his mind more often than he cared to admit. 

A gross, gooey wetness on his cheek hauled him back to the present, only to realise Remus had finished a surprisingly glorious cocktopus and had slathered some of the egg wash on his cheek.

“Earth to Tickle-Me-Emo, you good??”

Virgil would’ve socked him in the arm if Remus’ concerned smile didn’t send his heart racing too hard to consider it. He wiped the mixture off his cheek, only mumbling back at Remus as he formed his purple mix into little loafs, “I’m fine, just stop covering my face in slimy shit.”

“..... Okay, now I know something’s up. You never leave me room for innuendos like that.”

Not even waiting to clean the residual flour off of his hand, Remus softly reached out and Virgil anxiously awaited the touch on his cheek. 

But it never came.

He watched as Remus seemed to course correct and he used his thumb to draw a line down his forehead, whispering, “Simbaaaaa-”

“Okay, fuck ooooff!”, Virgil had snorted, fondly swatting at Remus.

“Come on, Virge! You looked like you were gonna blow a blood vessel, how could I not diffuse the tension a little?”, Remus snickered, though the silence that followed wasn’t so comfortable somehow. Virgil struggled to place it until he noticed Remus’ expression falter. He didn’t get the chance to ask what was wrong before Remus spoke up, 

“This was a mistake, wasn’t it?”

A cold jolt shuddered along Virgil’s spine, rattling each vertebrae as it went.

“What’re you-”

“Why’d you invite me over, Virge?”

Truthfully, Virgil knew exactly why he had invited Remus from the outset; he wanted to see him again, drown in his presence, hopefully find out that he was single and still just as in love with Virgil after all these years as he was with Remus. But once Remus was there, single and right in front of him, he’d panicked - what else was new? - and resorted to turning their meeting into a catching up between old friends. 

But people who are just friends don’t dream about being held by their friend at night, don’t fantasize about a future together, don’t lay awake at night regretting not having just taken the chance to be more when they had it.

They also don’t stare at their friend’s gorgeous toned body every chance they get, but that felt a little too pathetic to admit on top of everything else.

Virgil wasn’t aware of how quiet he’d been until Remus spoke again, “Here I am, thinking maybe you might want me back in your life for good, maybe even like me back if I was lucky....”, Remus paused forlornly, an expression that didn’t suit him in the slightest, “But even now you’re still anxious around me. Which, I mean, I get it. Why would you like me back after I just kissed you out of the blue like that-”

“But why would you want me-?!”

His voice wasn’t meant to come out so high pitched and whiny, but Virgil was more focused on trying to process what Remus had just said. Remus liked him still. After all this time. And yet, Virgil’s brain was still trying to ruin it.

“Remus, you… look at you!”, he gestured to all of him, “You’re still a fucking weirdo but you’re stupidly hot!”

Virgil kicked himself mentally, his hands raking through his hair and nails scraping his scalp, “Ugh, no! I mean! Fuck, Remus, I’ve been in love with you all this time! I haven’t even LOOKED at another guy in these last thirteen years, because whenever I even think about finding someone to settle down with, the only goddamn thing I can think about is how much I only want you-!”

The clattering of a knocked over kitchen table was the only warning Virgil got. Then all he could focus on was Remus’ arms wrapping around him, his breath cool against his neck. 

“Then why’d you never tell me, you asshole?!”, Remus murmured against him. 

Virgil wondered if he imagined the soft noise of relief Remus let out as Virgil hugged him. 

“Because I’m the worst-”

“No.”, Remus cut him off, pulling back a little to give him an unimpressed look.

“No-?”

“No. Try again.”

Ah. It’d been years since Remus took this approach with him. 

“,... Because I’m stupid-”

“Try agaaain.”, Remus droned, prodding one of the little purple loafs Virgil had lovingly been shaping from a circular loaf into a spider before all of this began.

“Dude, don’t poke my spiders-”

“Or what?”

Virgil narrowed his eyes, unable to stop the quirk of a grin, “Don’t you dare-”

Remus narrowed his gaze, grinning as he plunged a finger into another spider loaf. Virgil tried to stop him all the while Remus cackled and kept dotting them with holes. Finally, Virgil conceded, 

“Fine! I was scared, okay-?!”

The silence hung heavier than both men anticipated. Virgil would’ve found Remus stopping dead with his finger shoved into the spider loaf’s ass hilarious if he wasn’t too busy shaking with nerves. 

“I was scared.”, he repeated, quietly dropping onto one of the chairs around the table, “I liked you so much back then too, but emotions are the fucking worst when you’re a kid and I was still trying to work shit out.”

The scooting of a chair let Virgil know Remus had sat down too. 

“My anxiety just got worse the longer I couldn’t see you, but every time I thought about facing you, I just kept thinking “well, he deserves better anyway-!””

Sick of hearing Virgil self deprecating further, Remus all but hauled Virgil into his lap, their faces inches from touching, eye contact unbreaking.

“Virge,”, Remus purred barely above a whisper, “I mean this in the nicest way possible..” 

The way their lips brushed over each other send shockwaves along Virgil’s spine, “But shut the fuck up.”

The scrawnier man didn’t need to be told twice. The second Remus’ lips pressed against his own, Virgil had no intention of breaking the contact until he needed air. Not that he’d mind suffocation if it was Remus’ lips doing the smothering. His left hand threaded itself in Remus’ hair while the right held onto his firm bicep. Fucking hell, Remus had never been this solid when they were kids. Since when did real, unphotoshopped people have muscles like these-!?

All of a sudden, Virgil couldn’t care less as Remus’ hands caressed his hips, earning a gasp Remus was more than willing to use to deepen their kiss. He got no complaints from Virgil who reciprocated the intensity of their kiss with no hesitation. It’d already cost him thirteen years with the man he loved, Virgil wasn’t about to hold himself back anymore. 

…. Okay maybe he should have held back a little.

A surge of panic jolted him free of the makeout headspace when he felt himself tipping back. Right, they were on one of the kitchen chairs. A chair meant to only support one person. Thankfully, Remus noticed and leant back. Instead of Virgil toppling to the floor, he wound up on top of Remus on the floor, hissing as his knees made contact with the tiles. 

“Fucking hell-! Oh shit, Remus, you okay-?!”

Remus groaned and scrunched his eyes at the pain. Virgil immediately feared that Remus had done himself a serious injury, however the man he was using as a seat cracked an eye open and sighed theatrically,

“Well, at least I’m gonna die with a raging boner.”

Virgil sighed. He was fine. 

“Come on, let’s get these dumb loaves in the oven and then you can be horny all you want-“

Remus didn’t waste a second. He barely gave Virgil a second to get off of him before he was up on his feet. A gasp made Virgil take a break from dusting flour off of himself.

“MY COCKTOPUS!!! IT’S DEAD!!!!”

Well, that’s not a phrase you hear everyday. Sure enough, when Virgil followed Remus’ gaze, the poor phallic sea demon he’d constructed had deflated somewhat; it’s many ‘’tentacles’’ had fallen over and flattened while the head of the beast was beginning to sag. Virgil was about to tell Remus to leave it be when he noted how genuinely upset Remus was.

Sighing, Virgil rolled his hoodie sleeves up to his elbows once more, “Alright, you can fix it, and THEN we’re making up for lost time..”

------

... I have no excuses for this one, the idea came and I ran with it.

Special thanks to the ever wonderful and talented @accidental-sanders​ for helping flesh out this whole thing with me <3 Taglist: @somehow-i-got-an-account   @cateye-glasses   @fandomsofrandom @patton-cake @does-this-look-logicality-to-you @justalittlecorrupted @irritating-lady-knight @katlikethesword 

[alpacaparkaseok]

Okay right off the bat I’m starting at chapter 7 for a refresher so it might take me a hot second to actually submit this lol

Ahh okay starting now (but also the previous chapters are just as good if not better the more I read them 🤧…still weak against arsons, can confirm)

I’m so paranoid at this point I feel like every line I’m like highly suspect 🧐🧐🧐

Falling Star cafe??? 🕵🏽‍♀️

Lady in red 🕵🏽‍♀️

Someone watching the car 🕵🏽‍♀️ (perhaps Jin is continuing a newly formed habit…how could I know 🕵🏽‍♀️🕵🏽‍♀️🕵🏽‍♀️)

Oml homegirl is booooold bringing up the kiss so casual, I’m thoroughly impressed. Ahh a pouty Tae.

Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait…wait. Hold the phone. Now hand the phone to me…what do you mean desperation drove her into his arms

(post note: agreed the boy is down BAD - the little wince I give every time he calls her jagiya)

And yet indeed (f’s in the chat for Taehyung you guys). The literal anxiety I’m experiencing with this conversation and the rain…you’re so freaking talented wtf. Also I know Tae was up there for me…but I’m now even more firmly shutting that door. I think the kiss needed to happen tho. They both clearly needed to know, the what if would never had gone away otherwise, like tying up loose ends.

Aaaand “Seokjin appears atop the stairs” so back to 🕵🏽‍♀️🕵🏽‍♀️🕵🏽‍♀️

All the smell descriptors make me 🕵🏽‍♀️ too I’m over here like vanilla??? 🕵🏽‍♀️🕵🏽‍♀️🕵🏽‍♀️ what does it mean??? I know they shouldn’t but again IM SO PARANOID NOW

Okay I’m getting major “I must not tell lies” vibes rn. He??? 🕵🏽‍♀️

Seokjin’s “what can I do”🥺 (clearly my loyalties have not been swayed…yet)

I feel like I held my breathe for that entire flashback section ahhh. Okay BUT I ALMOST SAID YADIEL EARLIER (bc I reread the previous chapters first) but if I’m being honestly for some reason my brain said Yadiel=she even tho upon further recollection he was used as Yadiel’s pronouns for sure like brain why you do that??? Also every softboi™ JK moment feels like a punch to the gut

The casual way he says I had to set some important buildings on fire I can’t. I went from 🥺 (bc of JK softboi™ shit) to 😂 so fast I think I have whiplash now. I love Jin (a continued thread)

OH SHIT 😳 I-

The knife…I got literal chills reading just now 🥶

Tl;dr IT MADE SO MUCH FREAKING SENSE (BUT IVE NEVER BEEN MORE ??? 🕵🏽‍♀️🕵🏽‍♀️🕵🏽‍♀️ 🧐🧐🧐 CONFUSED THAN I AM NOW) AND WE’RE NOT DOING OKAY AFTER THAT AT ALL

In conclusion:

We need answers dammit

ok breaking this down because YES

1. why am I not surprised that you actually went back to chapter 7 lol, the dedication is remarkable. but this is good, we needed the research on arsons. It would look like the phenomena is continuing aka we're all still super into Jin and his arson tendencies

2. I honestly thought about telling you which things you should and should not be suspicious of (you mentioned the café, the woman in red, etc.) but then I realized that that would be no fun and I should just let you continue to suffer. sooo happy suffering lol but you're a smart cookie, there's almost everything something to be suspicious of

3. She just needed to bring that kiss up, or else homeboy would have never brought it up I swear smh, props to her

4. for those of you wondering what line miq is talking about, it's this one regarding JK:

"You’ve always made it clear that there was nothing going one between you two, despite the few times you slipped up and the desperation from living on the streets drove you into his arms-"

My only response is this:

5. Ooh, so many mixed responses on Tae! It's interesting because back when I had you guys take the survey, he and Jimin were tied for the top. Interesting. Very interesting.

6. Vanilla. The scent of vanilla. You're right on this one, there's a reason why I threw that in there, once again your sleuthing skills amaze me. you learned well during your time with the pact lol

7. Agh, Seokjin. That man. I see that your loyalty still lies with him, but you're also on edge lol. you know me so well.

8. Dude, the flashback bit was honestly one of my favorite parts of this entire chapter. We'll be getting some bonus flashbacks very soon! And YES! Yadiel was mentioned in previous chapters, as her first kill. Yay so happy you noticed!

9. JK IS SOFTBOI™

10. wouldn't be Jin if he didn't set something on fire lol

11. yes. the knife. I absolutely loved that detail, in the sickest way possible lol

12. I literally cackled out loud at the last bit. YOU'LL GET YOUR ANSWERS IN DUE TIME OK.

[malinaagenda]

hey!! holy shit i had no idea what bidarkling said about archie!! jesus fucking christ that's disgusting. thank you for reblogging. she's problematic on the best of days--but that was outright disgusting. also--i'm wondering if there are any malina networks/safe spaces to hangout? i really like them, but I'm afraid to come out to my followers as an Archie/Mal Stan. I hope this is ok to come to you with! I love your jace and clary blog too. <3333

I’m not on twitter so thankfully I didn’t have to deal with that but just seeing the screenshots and hearing about it spikes my anxiety through the roof. Like between this and the darklina’s thinking that in this day and age, especially with what’s going on with the hate towards asians right now, that because they don’t like a SHIP, they can not only be racist and bully the actors and their children. But they can call the ship MALARIA, like. I wish I was joking it is downright vulgar.

And honestly not one darklina can be like oh that’s just a small part of the fandom you can’t tar us all with that brush because like. Where are all the posts condemning this person and others? Where’s all the “no you don’t get to make up racist ship names” posts? I’ve seen people I respected LIKE THE DAMN TWEETS, by bidarkling, or like posts attacking people standing up to them. 

I’ve seen people argue in a discord server, by invading the malina channel, that they have a right to do all this gross stuff to Archie because he’s not dark skinned enough. Archie Renaux is Desi. Y’all don’t get to be fucking racist shitbags, or excuse racism and laugh at it and like posts or tweets, and then act like not all Darklina’s are the same when I have seen literally NOT ONE, especially not one of the big ones, say shit against the stuff done to Archie. About the Malaria name etc. I’ve seen them like the posts and tweets tho!!!!  The only person i’ve seen mention anything is a multishipper. Like.

We didn’t tar y’all. Y’all literally did that TO YOURSELVES. With outing how racist y’all are.

Not on the topic of Archie though. The LENGTHS some of those shippers will go to to woobify and be all uwu aleks my babyyy. Like the next person who even breathes that Genya deserved to be sexually assualted and the darkling shouldn’t be held accountable for that OR the other thing he does. I will fight. I don’t care, y’all can fuck off invalidating abuse survivors because you like the white guy playing him. I haven’t even been here lately because recovering, and I really come back to a message I am not posting glorifying what happened to her. This is the lengths y’all go to? THIS IS YOUR GOD HUH? THIS IS THE HILL YOU ALL WILL DIE ON? RACISM AND ABUSE APOLOGISM? Staying quiet and ignoring it is the same as encouraging it! But y’all know that lbr.

I swear to god I’ll never be able to enjoy ben barnes ever again. 

Also to answer your question finally I got so sidetracked because this is the only ask imma answer bc they’re all in the same vein, but also to be like I’m the wrong person to ask because like. I’m of the opinion that if people give you shit over actors or characters you like. They’re assholes. They’re not your friends or even good people. Drop their asses. Like characters and people you like are so personal to you. And honestly? especially with all of this. Weed them out. Post about what you love and block anyone who tries to fuck with you over it. 

I’m tired of people being like oh i like mal/archie but i would never say it in front of my followers~ like bruh. MY DUDE.

For people to follow though I do have suggestions!!! I’m also sure that there’s discords out there for malina/mal fans!

@malinasource ofc bc the source blog

@malyen0retsev @alinamal @alinastarksov @jessiemeili @thetracker

also anyone in this post here and the comments/tags oh this one too 

I know I’m missing so many people i should be including rn but sick brain tired. But feel free to go through my blog for people i’ve interacted with or rb edits from (im so behind on my tracked tag too but sick) and you should find lots of lovely people to interact with!!!

Also ty!!!! That’s like my main otp of otp’s so every time it gets complimented i’m just seal clapping Good luck in your hunt for mal/archie friends! and I’m here if you need anything/wanna chat too!

[oh-for-fic-sake]

Family Drama

Masterlist

Warnings: Adult Situations +18, Smut, Daddy Kink, Swearing, Angsty, Infertility, Bullying

A/n:wow so this has been written for about three weeks, I honestly was never going to post it , a little to close to home ,but wrighting it made me feel better and it might make someone else feel better abput certain topics, this was hard to write but I do hope you enjoy it

Taglist: @two-unbeatable-beaters​ @thatgirly81​

You introduce your new boyfreind to your family  but a spiteful sister tries to ruin what you and Henry have.

Family Drama

You were nervous. You'd been in a relationship with Henry for four months now but had kept it quiet, wanting to have a stong relationship before letting the media know. Especialy now that that it had been leaked that he was going to be playing Superman  again he seemed to be under more media scrutiny.That being said you'd both let your family closest to you know that you were seeing people. But for you you'd only told your mum she knew how you'd met and she knew he was an actor but that was it. Not that you didnt trust her because you did two peas in a pod no it you'd left out his surname so that she couldnt let it slip to your older sister. Your very jealous ,entitled ,narrsasistic older sister. The problem was that you'd been invited to your brothers yearly birthday bbq in a few days. You hadnt mentioned it to Henry yet worried it was too soon for all the family drama that could correction would come of it. You sighed sitting in his living room snuggling with kal as henry took a shower hed just come back from a run determined to get in better shape for his new role kal lounged across you reciveing a veriaty of hugs and kisses. Henry entered the living room in a loose shorts and tshirt damp hair hanging low on his forhead. Taking a seat next to you pullingnyour legs and kal to rest on his legs one hand stroking your calf his smiled faltered when he took in your thoughtfull face.

"You ok hun?" He said as his brow furrowed you leaned your head back on the sofa looking at him running your hand casually through kal's fur.

"Its my brothers birthday this weekend he's having a bbq" you heaved a big sigh as he listened intently as you  continued

"I wasn't sure if you wanted to go or not it might be to early for that" you mumbled more to yourself than anything. His eyes widened as he realized what you were getting at. you'd told him about your family how you and your mum were super close and one of a kind, you got on well with your brother Dean fine having shared interests. Then there was your sister Camille,  your both very different people and you found it hard to get along with her ,bottom line is she was the youngest spoilt princess untill you were born 10 years after her and she never forgave you for it. He nodded to you knowing how hard it was between the both of you.

"I'd love to go I've been thinking of asking to meet your family, I know we decided to take is slow but I love you and this is the real deal." He said relaxing and worrying you at the same time.

"Really? You don't mind? Even though you know theres going to be drama? and my nieces and nephews are probably going to call you superman?" since dating him you thought it'd be a good idea to watch a few of his films and could kick yourself for not recognising him from a few. He squeezed your leg reasuringly "I dont mind I want you know I'm there for you and I love you"  he said leaning over kal kissing you lightly before ushering him off so he lie over you as the kiss got heated resulting in him resting between your thighs as he rocked deliberatly against you before running kisses down your neck.

"How do you feel about showing up to the party with a few of my marks?" You giggled at that slapping his arm lightly.

"You know sometimes I wonder when my shy sweet man turned into a horndog?"  resting over you on his hands leaning in stealing kisses before sucking deep marks on your neck nudging your tshirt to the side leaving another between your neck and collar bone you moaned lightly as he rubbed against your mound chuckling into your shoulder.

"Sounds like I'm not the only horndog" he said grinding harder against you letting you feel him hardening you pouted.

"Hey don't steal my thunder" he leaned up off you before pulling of his top. No matter how many times you saw him he still took your breath away especially since he was determined to bulk up more befor filming. Your heat clenched in anticipation as he made a show of flexing his muscles throwing away his tshirt. He wasted no time tugging the bottom of your shirt over your head dragging your sports bra with it leaving  his eye blown wide as he  drank in the sight of you bare before him. Licking his lips as he dived in kissing and suckling at your breast then teasingly rolled your nipples between his teeth, you bucked up into him moaning making him groan low in his chest your smugness didnt last long tho as he flipped you over onto your knees below him leaning forward you grabbed the arm of the sofa for leverage. You loved how he could manoeuvre you any way he liked. You giggled then slid back rubbing your ass along his prominent bulge then made small circular motions tormenting him as you rocked forward and back he hissed grabbing your hips holding you still against him befor a heavy palm slapped your ass.

"Little brat" he growled then ran his fingers against your slit as your enterance wept in anticipation,  you gripped arm of the sofa tighter between your fingers moaning loud as he continued teasing your wet opening. He arched over you chest flat against your back and used one hand to pull your hair tilting your head back the other tore your shorts and panties down your thighs.

"Think you can tease me and get away with it missy?" He grunted in your ear leaving wet open mouthed kisses on your neck biting hard and sucking again as he shimmied his shorts down just enough to pull out his cock rubbing his weeping head against your clit tapping it harshly making you squeel as your arousal seeped onto him  you cried out as he drew lines along your pussy lips he pushed forward nugding the fat head of his cock to your opening teasingly withdrawing before repeating the movement moveing deeper.

"Fuck please Henry please dont tease I'm sorry" you gasped out when he kissed your cheek and pushed in to you slowly savouring the feel of your walls clench him tightly sucking him in deeper you always felt imposibly full as his hips rested flush against you the head of his cock resting snug against your cervix you moaned out loud when he began rocking the veins on his cock massaged your walls with delicious friction he leaned back hand still pulling your head back. Before grinding against your clit and curving his hips forceing you to arch your back following his movment up you grunted out a moan.

"Ready baby?" You nodded using what little slack he had given you on your hair. "Fuck yes oh god please" you whined looking back up at him eyes glazed over he pulled his hips back snapping them forward not hesitating he set a brutal pace driving you wild.

"Fucking little tease! You think its a good idea to tease daddy?" You whined at the back of your throat shaking your head as he spanked you again

"I asked you a question bratt!" You cried out as his palm struck you again

"N-no daddy I'm sorry daddy please please let me cum please" he grunted out a laugh at your desperate plee you hissed at the slight pain of him bumping against your cervix. He released your hair choosing to wrap his fingers around your throat tight enough to restict your pants pausing he set one foot flat on the floor and pulled you back towards him with one hand then returned to his punishing pace, with every thrust tilting his hips up slightly the new angle made you see star as he was brushing your swollen clit.

"God you take me so well baby girl fuck your still so tight" you opend your mouth in a silent scream tucking your head down as you trembled your pussy clamping down on him uncontrollably.

"Oh fuck I'm close so close" he breathe down your back moving his hand down between your legs to flick at your clit harshly pinching it that was all it took you squeeled loud as you came around him in violent tremors thrusting into you before holding still grunting loud as he peaked inside of you grinding against you determined to make your joint orgasms last, you whimpered as you felt him pour into you, both heaving deep breaths. He breathed out a laugh releasing you patting your hip as he sat down dragging your limp body onto his lap relaxing and pulled your panties back up over your hips keeping his seed smeard against you for as long as he could, you'd found that he was quite a possesive man and was  throughly turned on knowing he was smeard between your thighs. He turned your face kissing you passionately before running his hand down your neck smirking Traceing the three love bites he had left two on yout neck one above the other and the thrid on your collar bone you smiled giggling at him when he picked you up heading towards the bedroom knowing that there was atleast one more round instore today and probably a few more tonight.

You rung your hands together today was the day you'd let your family know that you were bringing someone to the bbq your mum was thrilled to finally put a face to the man who'd made you so happy, Dean seemed happy that you'd found someone and Camille, well she was less than thrilled she prefered that you'd remain single so she could rub her new husband and son in your face and make offhanded comments about how you'd never find a husband like she had. Not that you wanted what she had, a childish husband that refuses to get a job to provide for his family and was creeepy enough to make your skin crawl. He was a boy you wanted a man.You sighed checking your phone again Henry was supposed to pick you up but had to take a call about delays to the filming schedule now you were going there with your mum and Henry was going to arrive a little late. You forced a smile as your mum pulled up beside you quickly leaving your house warnkng your babies to be good. She noticed you were a little tense.

"Whatever happens just remember he loves you Y/n and he is there for you" you nodded

"I know I'm just nervous I hope you like him" she smiled before pulling away from the curb

"I've seen how happy he makes you trust me I'll love him" she reassured you in only a way a mother could. Then raised an eyebrow at your neck you blushed as you knew what she was looking at.

"Not sure how your brothers going to react to his baby sister smothered in those" you groaned leaning back into the seat as she laughed

"Didn't think of that... it was his idea and I can't exactly stop him or want to if I'm Honest" she snorted at that. It was a short drive to Dean's house you were greeted by an entourage of excited nieces and nephews quickly wrestling each of them for kisses and cuddles before following them into the garden as they made a bee line to the trampoline you heard a scoff.

"Thought you were bringing someone? I was quiet looking forward to meeting your mysterious other half" dripping with sarcasm you ignored her and sat down across from her calling out a greeting to Dean who was cooking at the built in bbq he waved the spatular.

"He had to take a call about rearranging the flights" you replied not wanting to ignore her completly and rock the boat already. You felt eyes on you and realised that your sister in law had clocked onto your neck.

"Oh someones been getting it, I'm looking forward to meeting him you've been together what three months?" she teased plafully you got on well with her and was closer in age. You blushed beet red befor pulling out your phone as you recived a text it was Henry telling you he was 10 minutes away turn out he was just being told his new flight dates you smiled and left it on the table. You nodded at her Camille sneered but caught herself plastering a kind looking smile.

"Yeah I dont understand why you kept it quiet. Your not embarrased of him are you?" She asked bitingly you frowned as you poured yourself a lemonade sipping it collecting yourself before answering

"No I'd never be embarrassed of him. But we thought we would take it slow and see where it goes befor diving right in" she chuckled sipping her drink as you said his name.

"He's an actor isn't he? so what is he one of those actors that works on indie films? Or a proper actor? would I have seen him in anything? is one of those 'actors' always in the background" You growled a little as she laughed then you smirked at this looking at her scrawny husbands arms both covered in dc sleeve tattoos Camille may not recognise him but her husband definatly would.

"Yeah maybe ,he has been in quite a few things, tv show and some big blockbusters." You leaned forward drinking a few mouthfuls to hide a smirk ,today you were going to finally shut her up the greatest revenge for all her years of tearing you down was proving her wrong. She had spent so long since you grew up knockjng you back drummjng into you that no one would ever want you that it had caused a few problems with Henry in the beginning,  it had taken a lot of convincing but finally you were happy and confident that someone did want you and he was incredible. Today was the day you could be a little smug.

"Well he can't be that big of a deal if he is with you now can he?" She giggled hoisting her son up onto her lap coddling him, you frowned.

"Well he is working on a big one now, a sequel" she snorted again taking a sip of her wine.

"Really?" You clenched your fists in irritation wanting to defend your man

"Yes he works for dc" her husband looked up smiling

"Really? Dc comics?" You smiled leaning back knowing his intrest would push her buttons you nodded.

"Yeah not sure how much I can say tho, but thats what the phonecalls are about today, something came up with one of his costars so they have had a change in the dates he is just getting the new flight details" he nodded smileing you could see he was excited tdying to think of who it was, you wont say you want it to be a shock as childish as that was, you had a good smart god of a man and you wanted to show him off, rub him in your sisters face. You smiled as Camille started sneering even tho your still nervous your brother came over to the table placing down a large tray of sausages burgers and chicken kababs.

"Wheres your other half?" he said as everyone dug in you smiled accepting a plate off one of you nieces who was diligantly passing them out you quickly caled her as she made to go past you.

"Lotty can I have another one darling?" She nodded confused but still handed you one. You turned to your brother

"He'll be here in a minute, he had a work thing that couldn't wait." He nodded "Wana explain them before he gets here?" He nodded to your neck teasing you as he piled his plate. You blushed

"Uh haha well we got a little carried away after his workout this morning....I'd rather not say more then that." You said quietly helping yourself to a burger and some salad. He smirked at you ruffling your hair

"Finally growing up eh? Just be safe" You slapped his had away with a quiet fuck off the banter was cut short as your sister scoffed.

"Be safe not like shes gonna get pregnant" you stopped smileing hurt by the comment as she chose that moment to hug her eighteen month old son, it was true you couldnt but she didn have to be such a bitch about it, she saw you as less of a woman now, her view was a woman wasnt a true woman if she did not have children, an ideal that she had spent her whole life wrapped around a desperate need for a baby and somehow she was better than you because she had a baby and you were never going to, and never missed a chance to remind you that you'd never be 'complete' as she puts it, never find someone who'd stay with you when they found out children was not an option for you, it had been confirmed you pretty much couldn't have kids there was the a very very very slim chance youd ever conceive, so low youd been told to think of yourself as barren and in the miracle that you did fall pregnant  you probably wouldnt carry to term, since then she had made sure to beat you down with it, it was still a fresh wound a difficult thing for any woman to accept but your not even in your thirties which somehow made it even worse, not that you planned any kids, you actually never wanted them it was always 'maybe one day' but there is a difference between choosing not to have them and being told you can't.

"Why the fuck have you gotta bring that up like that for?! Stop being such a bitch about it!" Your brother came to your defence she slid back cradeling the toddler smugly. Suddenly any argument brewing was halted by the door bell you shoke your head making to move but moved faster when you heard a loud array of shouts and yells of excitment from the house your eyes bugged out as your older nephews ran out of the back door dragging Henry behind them.

"Look look its Superman! Dad dad look he knows aunty Y/n" Silence fell across the table as the kids made a fuss over Henry who was starting to chuckle nerously.Your brother in law gapped at Henry dropping his fork your brothers wife rose her eyebrows then tilted her head nodding saying 'you did well' Camille was just blinking, she looked broken .

"Oi what have I told you about opening that front door to strangers?" Your brother broke the silence scolding his son david who replied naively.

"But hes not a stranger,  its Superman, hes not bad, he's a good guy." 

"Hey babe turns out I was only 5 away." He chuckled as david watched in awe as 'superman' leaned in and kissed you on the lips then held his hand out to Dean. "Im Henry ,sorry I'm late-" he snapped his head down as david and tyson clambered around him pulling at his top a little

"Oh my god auty y/n are you dateing superman!?!"

"Are is he gonna be our uncle? Are you going to marry her?"

"Can you take me flying? What does it feel like?"  Henry chuckled at the boys as they practically vibrated with excitement. Henry nodded down at the boys

"Well boys we aren't getting married yet but we are dating, but I dont think your mum will like me flying around with you yet, maybe when your older?" they smiled at Henry then continued asking him tonnes of questions soon all of the kids were surronding him you smiled apologetically but he just laughed answering all their questions, playing along for them not wanting to upset them after a few mineuts the excitment died down and they were ushered back to the smaller table to have lunch by their parents, he rubbed the back of your neck quickly reassuring you before stopping near your brother who shrugged.

"Sorry about the kids..."

"Its perfectly fine,I get it all the time ...I'm just happy I've made a good impression on some of y/n family at least, sorry for being late I had to reschedule a few flights and stuff" they shook hands.

"Dean her brother, and don't worry about it works work and its good your serious about it, a better first impression than some" he replied casting your sisters hunsband a look that no one missed as Henry sat down beside you placeing an arm across your shoulders. Kissing the side of your head.

"So you gonna introduce me love?"  He asked motioning around the table everyone Camille release her husbands hand batting at him as he reached out for her thrusting her son at him then placed one hand in her lap and leant over the table holding out her hand as if he should kiss it giving him sultry eyes trying to entice him.

"Im Camille y/n's older sister" she said fluttering her eyelashes at him you tensed knowing what she was doing. Henry grasped her offered hand and shook it. Causing your mum to snort a laugh into her glass and others to chuckle. Camille has done this before, the only other serious relationship you had ended cos of arguments about how he acted with her, tho back then she wasn't married.  Pulling back Henry smiled at her and casually ran his fingers across your lovebite riddled neck, then pulled you in placing another kiss to it making you giggle pushing him away, but he fought a little capturing your hands kissing your palms. You smiled as she clenched the hand he shook into a fist before lowering it beside her plate. Henry was a master of posessive gestures but she had got the message

"Nice to meet you. And this is your husband?" He said politely charming voice. She bristled as she watched him tuck you into his side leaning back watching as her husband shook his hand and started kissing his ass, she slumped back huffing and levled her man with a look making him sit back and let you finish introduceing him to everyone happy that your man had your back.

"So the kids called you Superman? I dont think I've seen your version, I'm sure I'd have remembered seeing you in a tight suit" she dropped her voice and twiddled with her straw her husband gulped

"I have been trying to get you to watch it with me but you said you don't do nerdy shit" he spoke upand you giggled as she gapped flstered, Henry just smirked tugging holding your leg beneath the table patting it softly as you tensed.

"Well thats a shame tho I know that heros aren't evenyones thing, But yes I've played superman in man of steel and soon we will be filming Batman vs Superman so I'm excited for that"  you giggled

"And I for one am definitely looking forward to that" he laughed out loud poking your side

"And I wonder why?" You giggled at him

"Well I'm looking forward to getting the bed to myself for a few weeks" he shook his head

"Like you sleep on the bed? Babe you sleep on top of me I dont think youve touched the mattress...wait scratch that I know you have~" you stuttered as the others rolled their eyes chuckling you slaped his arm lightly as he joined in wriggling his eyebrows at you, you noticed from the side of your eye Camille moved closer to him, leaning over the table fluttering her eyes and squeezing her chest to show off her assets, you cringed biting your lip as he gave her a smile and cleared his throat look then cast his gaze to you, you must have taken his smile as the wrong way as you looked down he sighed moving his hand up your thigh then leaned in to you whispering in your ear

"And this is why you should have let me cum in your panties before you left, it would have been a reminder that you are mine, the only one for me, but I suppose we will just have to remember next time" he parted from your ear with a quick but very noticable nip on your ear lobe you shuddered blushing bright red looking at him bashfully before he plucked a cherry tomato from your plate winking as he popped it in his mouth.

"So your stepping into the role again? can't wait for that?" Your brother in law said enthusiastically Your sister fumed quietly to herself watching as Henry had snubbed her for you, she didn't know what he had said but it was something that made you embarrassed he wiped his mouth with a napkin as he nodded.

"Yeah filming starts in a few months.... now anyway which reminds me babe you need to sort out your passport" you blinked at him

"What? why?" He grinned at you

"Well I know how much you liked the last suit so I did some talking to the director and you my love have been invited on set for a few weeks....So we need to get your passport sorted I was hopeing to take you with me, they said it'd be fine for you to bunk with me and Kal for a few weeks if your up for it" you furrowed your brows

"You told them I like the suit?! You-really Henry?" He gave you a cheeky grin

"Well I didnt say the words but... he knew what I meant" you gave him a look and sighed shaking your head at him, deep down he was a child

"Seriously their okay with that? You wont mind me on set I mean your going to be busy" He smiled nodding quickly

"Yes Id love to have you there, we do that sometimes have our other halves come over to see us work for a while, youll get to see some of the filming and meet the others, we can spend a few nights in a hotel to if you want you know go about town anyway they gave me to okay so think it over" you smiled nodding makingnhim beam at you.

"You should go! I can take the dogs for a few weeks" your mum added snickering at the face your sister pulled as she thumped her glass down. Henry was was trying to make a point you could tell by the way he lathered you with attention more then usual,unable to keep his hands off of you, always kissing or leaning into you as he spoke with the others around the table. He seemed to get on well with everyone, your mum loved him and Dean seemed to like the his banter he fit in well with you all ,so well he was already going on a fishing trip with your brother in a few weeks, you were relaxed you had expected him to get on with your family and he had been ignoring the way your sister was trying desperately trying to flirt with him beautifuly evading all her little tricks and counteracting  all her digs he seemed to get annoyed  and eventually brought up about her wedding again useing the opportunity and switched talking to her husband who was being a right little fanboy asking for an autograph and gushing over him which pissed her off even more the final straw was when the kids got him with their water guns and found themselves casually tossed in the pool one by one by him and dean both shaking their heads they both pulled off their tops. You watched as everyone raised brows at him you licked your lips as your sister in law leaned in

"Your a lucky bitch you know that?" You both giggled

"Trust me it gets better, you want to see his thighs" she scoffed

"Fuck thighs I want to see his cock, details bitch details!"

"Leathal and addictive" You both laughed loud drawing his attention from his conversation with Dean, he raised an eyebrow at youshaking his head when you both became bright red

"I think our women are being cheeky" he smirked as you both blushed and began giggleing again, Camille was sitting drooling over him as he walked around her to the washing line throwing his and deans tshirts over it, he froze frowning when your sister placed a hand on his torso and moved up to his chest firmly.

"Wow so thats what you were hiding beneath all that?" he cleared his throat nodding then batted away her hand sat back down you grunted wanting to smack her one he stopped you kissing your cheek trying to calm you down.

"But then again you'd have to have muscles to move her about with the extra weight she carries" there were gasps and growls from around the table you froze henry growled a little his eye became cold.

"Well I think a woman should be just that...a woman big or small doesn't matter...Tho personally I'm an ass man  and your sisters is fantastic, isn't that right sweetheart?" You flushed as he rounded the table again then scopped you into his lap wrapping his arms around you under your bust making them rise a little

"And these can't forget them either" you giggled as he quickly stole kisses from you once that little ploy failed she was quiet sulking to herself watching as you and henry kept on slowly picking at the food on his plate conversation flowed nicely, that is until camille spoke up again this time going in for the kill.

"So Henry how do you feel about kids?" She asked everyone around the table stopped. Oh shit here we go.

"Camille!" Your mum warned but it was too late Henry smiled at he placing a hand on your thigh.

"Well its early days we haven't discussed it but I'd love to have kids some day and if everything goes according to plan it will be with y/n" you turned to him sharply dreading. He unknowingly walked into your sisters trap. Your heart broke at his admission and he saw it on your face as he glanced at you. In the background you heard your sister gasping.

"Oh no I'm sorry seeing as you were serious I thought you'd spoke to him." She freighned and apologetic look. It took every once of self control not to fly at her over the table.

"Tell me what?" Henry asked befor his eyes widened. Shit. Here it comes again the talk and enevitable break up. You couldn't have kids plain and simple. And no one wanted a young woman who would never be able to give him a child of his own. You gave one last tearfull look to tyour snake of a sister.

"Your a cruel bitch!" then got up leaving the table Henry right behind you as you got in the kitchen. Sitting down at the table you hung your head low hideing your tears as you knew the best thing to happen to you was about to leave.

"I knew this was a stupid idea" you managed between your sobs as you heard angry voices out side you go to move but he stops you. He leant down infront of you making you look at him.

"Hey it wasn't,no dont worry about them...Come on baby look at me." You shook your head befor quickly having him tuck you into his chest rocking you lightly calming you down. You hugged him tight trying to savour the last little comfort he was going to give you.

"Sweetheart I'm sorry its something we should have talked about Before starting to have sex huh?" He said kissing your head as he tilted your face to look at him smoothing your hair wiping your tears away with his thumb, reaching over you he tore off some kitchen roll before dabbing yout face with it and handing it to you as you unwound your arms from his waist feeling the cold prickles of dread in your stomach. Taking a deep shakey breath you steeled yourself for what was to come. He leaned against the table beside you waiting patiently.

"I.. she did this on purpose Henry love....I love you...B-but I can't have kids, well Its very unlikley....They said its nearly impossible.....I'm sorry so sorry...Youd make a great dad and I want you to know I understand....If its something you really want then we should cut our losses now befor-" you jumped as he growled gripping your chin forcing you to meet his gaze, he was stern, upset and angry. "You are not leaving me. Not over this. I meant what I said in the garden I'd love to have a family someday and if we can't have children of out own then there are other options. God knows that there are hundreds of children in the system that are waiting for loving homes to be adopted into and if we really want to go through the whole nine yards then we can have a surrogate." You gaped at him shaking your head

"Wh-what you dont understand I cant- Im not a true woman! I'm never going to give you-"

"Enough! I dont ever want to hear you say that again! A true woman , of coures you are! Your mine and who cares we can have kids other ways...Children do not make you a true woman or not I love you and we can find a way if we want our own... I suppose Camille  put that stupid thought in your head?"

"Shes right what kind of woman cant-Im broken Henry! How can you be okay with this?" You shrugged unable to continue as you began trying to fighr back sobs still not believing he would stay. He deserves a happy home full of love and family.

"I dont care love" he grabbed you shaking your shoulders a little desperate for you to look him in the eye

"I dont care I fell in love with you, not for the fact you could give me children or not, but your kind and funny and...your my soul mate I.Love.you dont you understand that, I want you no one else and this will make us stonger, you are perfect and you are not broken you my better half and my woman... My stunning, perfect woman Y/n and we are not over,I'm not leaving you and you are certainly not leaving me not over this" you sniffled still confused not fully understanding what was going on. 'Why is he saying this? Why hasn't he left? The others did' you frowned at him

"Wh-what? No yo-you should be angry...Leaving...no one wants a young woman who can't give them children of their own" You mumbled confused at him he sighed again befor loweing down to eye level releasing his grip on your chin and carassed your face lightly you shuddered leaning into him.

"Sweetheart in case you havent realised children isn't the be all and end all for me, we can find another way later down the line, besides you said its very unlikely not impossible and if we decided to try for kids you can bet your ass I will be fucking you full every chance I get! Fuck I might even tie you to the bed for a week or so and that my love is a promise and a threat.. .Really this is my fault we should have spoke about this before starting to have sex I was a little to eager in that respect." You blushed remebering just how eager he was not that he was the only one. He kissed your cheek.

"I love you, so much and I'm planning on being with you for as long as you can stand me" he said before kissing you passionatly pulling you up and sitting you on the table standing between your parted knees he pulled away. 

"You really don't have a problem with it?" He shook his head before attaching himself to you again tangeling tongues holding you tightly against his chest trying to pour all his feelings into you.

"Problem? With the enevitable fuck fest? Babe I'm a man. And like I said if that doesn't work we have options" you smiled tugging him back down giving him a tender kiss that got deeper as he pulled ou forward you heard someone clear their throat making you jump away. Peering around Henry you saw dean standing at the door arms folded you flushed and shrunk.

"So I take it by the way your sucking on my baby sister theres no need for me to,kick the shit outta you?" He asked casually Henry chuckled squeezing your hips holding you still as you tried to shimmy off the table around him.

"No sir, got it all straightened out. Haven't we babe?" You nodded sheepishly

"Good cos I don't feel like having my ass handed to me in front of my own kids...I mean I know I wouldn't win but I'd have to try...being that little twats older brother and all" you smiled at him Henry laughed

"Trust me we are good, just needed to clear the air, you know how she gets always thinking the worst,  a habbit I'm slowly breaking" Dean nodded smileing as you was tucked up in Henry's arm's as he pulled you from the table all three of you snapped your head to the door as you heard a loud cry then heels stomping into the kitchen from the garden, camille was clutching her face supporting a bloodied nose she sneared at you venomously

"Well I hope your fucking happy! Walking in here thinking your better than everyone! He probably isn't even with you! A fucking look alike escort pathetic!" You grit your teeth

"What's pathetic is a fucking married woman jealous of her baby sister! Grow up for fuck sake you are not gods gift! god sake just threw yourself at my boyfriend infront of your whole family including your husband and son" she took a step back looking for a quick escape, you'd never stood up to her like this before.

"You spent years trying to knock me down and for what? Jealousy hatred you know I don't know what I've done you make you hate me but I'm sick of trying to make it up to you, from now on you can go fuck yourself, I spent years looking up to you, wanting what you had but now I see you never had anything not really, it was always someone elses man, someone elses baby to fawn over ,your other halfs cars you had fuck all yourself and now what you've got isn't fucking worth having so you have to make yourself feel better by stomping all over me the first time I've seen it clear as day your fucking jealous!" She sniffed blinking stunned that you snapped back, you pointed at her face ignoring the way Henry moved to pull you back if you start swinging.

"I've had it, don't ever talk to me again, ever and I truly mean that, we. are. done." She took another step back shocked before screeching.

"What?"

"I mean it, this is the last straw for me, we're done I'm done you tried to sabotage the best thing thats ever happened to me because you hate the idea of me somehow out doing you. Fuck you. As far as I'm concered I have no sister" she looked upset and went to touch you but you flinched away.

"Y/n you can't mean-"

"Your a toxic and childish person Camille, come back when you grow up until then stay the fuck away" she tried blinking back tears, she never expected for you to cut her out of your life, it hurt deep she looked down then quickly made her way past you through the kitchen her husband carrying their toddler behind her looking thoughrly embarassed

"Y/n I'm really sorry-"

"Fuck off, your just as bad! You were made for each other" he sighed glancing at the others in the room before following her out seconds later the front door slammed shut so hard it shook the interior walls. You and dean shared a look turning as your mum who had been by the back door watching walked into the kitched going over to the sink she turnt on the tap running her hand under cold water.

"I don't think we will see her for a while." She said quietly as she stopped the tap "Henry could you pass me the kitchen roll please" he did as he was asked. Dean spoke up in disbelief.

"Did you just smack her?" She shook her head

"No no of course not, you should know by now I punch, that was way out of line and she knew it, then she started mouthing off to me when I told her some home truths having the audacity to try and turn it around playing the victim I've had enough of her shit stirring in this family." You mother said as she placed the kitchen roll on her red knuckles. Dean scoffed out a laugh

"Fucking typical the one time she gets what she deserves and I fucking miss it." You giggle a little. Yeah it was typical. Your mum aproached Henry.

"Im sorry you had to see that ,its not usually this bad... but this was coming for a long time, I don't know whats up with that girl but she doesn't think anyone but her has the right to be happy, everything is a competition , shes spent years putting y/n down and it must have really boiled her piss that y/n has found happiness with a handsome successful man ,she has to be top dog today she learnt she isnt. Henry I can't thank you enough for giving Y/n the confidence she needed to snap back, I've watched that girl tear y/n apart for years and none of us could give her the boost she needed to sort it out but you did." Your mother explained. Henry smiled down at you kissing your head .

"No need to apologise or thank me, y/n warned me but I thought she may have exaggerated, I was caught off gaurd and that was my fault... And we never spoke about children...if we do want them in the future we will find a way" He said sheepishly before pulling you towards him you smiled as he wrapped his arm around you keeping you as close to him as possible. It was then that david came running in. 

"Dad can we have cake now?" Dean nodded to him and ushered you all out into the garden for cake henry sat and dragged you onto his lap kissing the back of your neck lightly as you both dug into your cake.

"You ok now love?" You nodded leaning back on his chest finishing your mouthfull then reaching up you kissed under his jaw.

"Yeah I'm perfect." He ran his nose along the shell of your ear.

"Really? you've had a stressfull day, I think I might have to help you de-stress once we get home." He whispered heatedly you laughed at him as he ran his nose along your neck biting softly.

"Oi loverboy back up thats my baby sister." Dean said waving a fork at you both Henry pulled back a little with a cheeky grin.

"Yes sir, we will keep it pg....untill we get to the car" Dean laughed as the blushed slapping his arm

"Henry no!" He grinned before trapping you in a bear hug shouting

"Henry yes!" Before sucking on your neck making you wriggle trying to squirm away as everyone laughed watching your antics, finally he stopped and kissed your cheek before you both relaxed watching the kids run around hyped on sugar, you leaned back against him as he hummed into the back of your neck giving a quick kiss.That was when it really sunk in that he was still here. He still wanted you. Tears welled in your eyes as you realised it was all going to be ok. You tucked your head in his neck hiding your tears of relief.

"I love you." You mumbled into his chest he wrapped his arm around you tighter resting his face in your hair.

"I love you too" ending with a kiss on your hair looking up he saw your mum and brother looking at him  questioning what was going on he mouthed 'relief' you them and they nodded in understanding as you snuggled into him more.

[maria-scribbles]

loyalty’s all i got | part two

three years ago, you had it all: great friends, good grades, and an almost perfect relationship with your boyfriend, jj. it all came crashing down when your mom relocated your family to california for work and you were forced to trade the outer banks for malibu, leaving your broken heart behind in the place you were just starting to think of as home. now you're back in town for college and to pick up the pieces, hoping to make things right again with your friends and the boy you never stopped loving.

word count: 8.6k+

ship: jj maybank x female!reader, pogue friendship

warnings n stuff: angst angst angst all around (with a happy ending tho!!), the reader being a v. sad girl, mentions of anxiety/depression, failed long distance relationship, drifting apart, self-inflicted loneliness/isolation, the classic trope of 'they broke up but they're still in love with each other' that gives me feels, swearing (it's not my writing unless someone says 'fuck' at least once), reconciliation/mended relationships, traditional cheesy rom-com rain scene 'cause i'm a Dramatic Hoe™

a/n: and here's the second and final part of this looooong two-shot! thank you all so much for reading and i hope you enjoy the finale even though i low key kind of hate it 🙃. fun fact: surfrider beach is a real place in malibu known for its great waves :) also i apologize for how long this took to post, i dropped my laptop and the screen broke so i had to wait for it to get fixed lmao. unbetaed as usual, any mistakes are my b. 

~masterlist~

part two: like a ghost that no one knew

When you said goodbye to your friends three years ago, you should've known things would never be the same again. You were sixteen, still so young and naïve and full of an almost childlike hope that kept you from seeing the obvious: life wasn't fair. Sometimes, you could be holding all the right cards and still lose the game.

It should've been easy. You had a video chat schedule already figured out, promises of daily texts and Snapchats, a boyfriend willing -enthusiastically willing, in fact- to go long distance and make it work no matter what 'cause you both agreed that what you had was something worth fighting for. You and your friends had weathered many storms together, what was one more? It could've been easy but you underestimated just how cruel California would be.

You traded one coast for the other and watched the sun set over the Pacific alone when you would've given anything to watch it rise over the Atlantic with your friends. It hurt to surf solo but you did it anyway, even though it felt like a damn sucker punch each time you caught yourself scanning the sand for JJ and his proud smile when you successfully caught bigger and bigger waves at Surfrider Beach. 

Long distance was hard. You had days where all you wanted to do was lay on your bed for hours, safely curled up in his arms as he ran his fingers through your hair but you had to settle for his voice over the phone and one of his shirts from your closet instead. You missed everything about him: his pretty eyes that looked like the clearest ocean, the cheeky grin he'd send your way after making a stupid joke that had you affectionately rolling your eyes in exasperation, that adorable flush that spread across his face without fail each and every time you said you loved him. You longed for his constant affection; the way he always wanted to keep you close somehow, his arm around your shoulders, hand in your back pocket, or fingers entwined with yours; how he could never go a day without kissing you. Being apart was nothing short of torture.

"I fucking miss you." He said late one night during a rare FaceTime session -his phone was a piece of shit so he had to 'borrow' John B's whenever he could- and you smiled despite the knife twisting itself deeper and deeper into your heart as you played with the fraying sleeve of his old sweatshirt you wore. 

"I fucking miss you more, J." You whispered back, giggling quietly when he scrunched up his nose in playful skepticism. 

"Yeah, I don't think so, babe. There's no way." 

"Yes, way!"

Although it hurt like hell, you imagined being tangled up with him in the hammock hanging in the Chateau's yard under the North Carolina sky -the light from the moon would turn his blond hair a pale silver as he grinned down at you and cupped your cheek in his hand, closing that final distance between you for a kiss that'd fuel the fire racing through your veins- and you let that fleeting happiness carry you through the night, long after you said goodbye. You fell asleep with your phone in your hand, unaware that your mother had been listening from the other side of your closed door.

You'd been distant from her and your dad in the months since the move, obviously going out of your way to avoid them both by spending all your spare time surfing at the beach, coming home well past sunset and heading straight to your room without a word. They'd taught you forgiveness wasn't something to be given willingly -it had to be earned- and since neither of them had done anything worthy to deserve an absolution, you simply pretended they didn't exist and let yourself stew in your justified anger.

Until the morning after your video date with JJ, they'd wisely given you your space so you were pretty blind sighted to find them both waiting for you at the dining room table, one of your dad's famous cinnamon rolls on a plate set in front of your usual chair. You paused in the middle of tying one of your boyfriend's worn bandanas in your hair before abruptly continuing toward the front door, acting like you didn't see the hopeful looks on their faces that made guilt slowly start to burrow its way into your chest. 

"Y/N, wait," Your dad sprung from his seat and reached his hand out toward your elbow, his face falling when you instantly pulled back and crossed your arms. "Please, let's just talk for a second."

"I'm gonna be late for the bus," You lied and tried for the door again, sighing in frustration when he blocked your path and ushered you toward the table where your mom was sitting, biting her thumbnail. The guilt burrowed deeper: you thought she kicked that habit years ago but there she was, chewing her nail to shreds and it was all because of you (the empty satisfaction you felt knowing you were the cause of her stress made you hate yourself just a little more.).

"Jellybean, don't worry about that. I'll drive you." 

You bristled at the old nickname but sat in the chair your dad pulled out for you anyway. The smell of the cinnamon roll he pushed your way made your mouth water but you refused to eat and kept your eyes down as you played with the stack of bracelets adorning your wrist. "You wanted to talk?" You asked, deciding to just rip the band-aid off all at once 'cause knowing your mom when she was anxious and your dad being allergic to any type of confrontation, you'd have sat there all day until one of them worked up the courage to speak.

"Talk, right." Bill said with a nervous chuckle, shaking his head as he took a seat and swiped his own cinnamon roll from the pan in the middle of the table. "Uh, how are you?"

"Are you serious right now?" You asked incredulously, looking up from your lap with a raised eyebrow. "All this for 'how are you?'" 

"How would we know?" Your mom finally spoke up as she pulled her ruined nail from her mouth, only to start instantly drumming her fingers on the table. "You're always holed up in your room or at the beach, Y/N. You never talk to us anymore."

You rolled your eyes before fixing her with a deadpan stare. "Hmm, I wonder why."

"Honey, you know I'm sorry-"

"Don't, okay? Just don't." You swallowed thickly and dumped the cinnamon roll back into the pan, blinking away the awful burning pressure building behind your eyes. "I can't listen to some half-assed apology that you don't mean!"

"Y/N, we are sorry. Everything's gonna get better, just give it time." Your dad's reply was muffled by a mouthful of pastry and any other time, you'd usually be laughing at his chipmunk cheeks but instead you just stared back down at your hands again, lip quivering as you tried and failed to hold yourself together. You would not cry. You would not cry. You would not-

"Please, honey." Your mom tentatively reached out one hand like she was approaching a wounded animal, her voice so soft you could barely hear it above the rush of blood in your ears. "It hurts us to see you like this-"

Oh, fuck this shit.

"You're hurt?! Are you kidding me?" Your chair scraped along the tile as you rocketed to your feet, vision blurring when the dam finally broke. "You promised we wouldn't move again until after I graduated and you broke that promise. I let myself make friends for once in my goddamn life -I fucking fell in love, Mom! I fell in love with the most amazing boy who, by some miracle loves me, too despite me being a...a complete loser!" You were rambling now but you couldn't find it in yourself to care about or stop the words flying from your mouth. 

"God, I was happy -so, so disgustingly happy it kind of scared me, okay?" You laughed bitterly and roughly wiped the tears from your cheeks, only to have more immediately take their place. "And you didn't even stop to think before you took it all away from me! So don't even talk to me about being hurt 'cause you have no fucking idea!"

Your dad was frozen, eyes the same color as your own blown impossibly wide in the middle of another bite of cinnamon roll while your mom, two tears streaking perfect twin tracks down her cheeks, looked at you like you'd just told her the world was ending -to her, it just might've been but to you, it already had. Neither of them said another word as you snatched your backpack off the couch and stormed from the house, slamming the door behind you.

Halfway to the bus stop, you decided school just wasn't in the cards that day and doubled back, hiding behind the shed in your backyard until your tears had run dry and both of your parents left -Rebekah to the hospital, Bill to wherever he went while you were in class- before heading inside to change into your rash vest and grab your board. Despite it being early Friday morning, Surfrider Beach was full of life and you welcomed the hustle and bustle as you turned off your phone and buried it at the bottom of your bag, leaving your problems behind on the sand. 

You spent the whole day at the beach, blissfully alone and free to do what you wanted, until the sun dipped low in the sky and you were too exhausted to even think about anything but dragging yourself home so you could pass the fuck out. You caught one final wave before heading back to shore, waving goodbye to the group of other kids you'd surfed with all day (the one thing you loved about California: everyone was so chill) and trudged through the sand toward your things where, just as you expected, your sister sat on your towel, clad in a baggy UCLA long-sleeve with her phone in hand. 

"Bitch, you killed it out there!" She looked up as you dropped your board to the ground and sat down heavily beside her, slipping an old Kildare County High School sweatshirt -the first one you ever 'borrowed' from your boyfriend, much to his delight- over your head. "I mean, look at you go!"

You leaned closer to watch the video she took, the barest hint of a smile on your face when you watched yourself perform a near perfect cutback on the screen. "That's 'cause I had the best teacher." 

Daisy tagged you and posted it to Instagram before you could protest, then tossed the phone back into her bag and turned to you with a forced cheerfulness that kind of made you want to smack her. "So..."

"Mom and Dad sent you to clean up their mess." You finished quietly, tucking your knees to your chest and wrapping your arms around them as your sister sighed dramatically and offered a sympathetic wince. 

"As always." She copied your position and you both stared out at the sun sinking over the water, its fading rays turning the sky brilliant shades of orange and pink. It was typical of your parents to send Daisy after you when you were upset -after all, you'd both been each other's only friend for over half your lives- and normally, you'd be glad to see your sister's friendly face instead of your mom's or dad's. That evening, though? All you felt was...disappointment.

"Guess they really don't give a shit about me." You mumbled under your breath, half-hoping Daisy didn't hear you but from the way she snapped her head in your direction, you didn't get your wish.

"Y/N, that's not it. They're just..."

"Just what? Pretending that they didn't stab me in the back? Acting like everything's all hunky-dory and they actually cared about my feelings?" 

You hastily wiped at your face when your sister silently looped an arm around your shoulders and tucked you against her side, her fingers running soothingly through the ends of your damp hair as you vented all of your frustrations -everything you'd kept locked deep inside your heart- until your voice was hoarse and the sun had long disappeared from the horizon and you had no tears left to cry.

"You have no idea what it's like, being so lonely it hurts to breathe. It hurts knowing Mom and Dad have each other and you have Daniel and I'm alone all the time." You lifted your head from her shoulder and rubbed your red eyes with your sleeve. "Worst part is, they just keep acting like I'll wake up one day and magically be okay and everything'll be all sunshine and rainbows again." 

"First off, I wanna say that I'm sorry for not making more time for you. I knew you were struggling and I'm a terrible big sister for not being here for you like I should have," You squeezed Daisy's other hand in thanks as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, her voice soft and steady like the waves crashing against the shore. "Second, I definitely don't think Mom and Dad are handling this the way they should, but I think they're trying in the only way they know how. That should count for something, right?"

You sighed and tugged the sleeves of your sweatshirt over your hands. "I guess, but they haven't even tried to see where I'm coming from and they don't get that I'm not the only one they hurt. If I have to hear one more half-assed apology, I'm gonna lose my shit. Again."

"I'm not saying you have to forgive them right away 'cause I sure as hell wouldn't until they say they're sorry and mean it. But..." She said, pulling you to your feet and shaking the sand from the towel you were sitting on, "you shouldn't keep shutting them out, okay? It's not healthy."

You tucked your board under your arm as Daisy grabbed your bag and swung it onto her shoulder before you both started walking toward the parking lot. "What if I'm never ready to forgive them?"

"That's a question I don't have the answer to." She said with a shrug. "You've gotta figure that one out for yourself."

So you followed your sister's advice. You were civil and gradually, your relationship with your parents improved until you could stand to be in the same room as them and even carry on a short conversation, even though you knew you'd probably never be able to fully trust them again. You caught them exchanging glances you could only describe as wounded when you often turned down their invitations to go to the movies or get ice cream or other things you used to love doing when you were younger but for the most part, they took it in stride and you were grateful for their little efforts. Forgiveness wasn't in the cards quite yet but with each passing day, you felt the icy wall around your heart slowly start to melt away.

But every time you thought you were taking one step forward, life pushed you two steps back. Just when you were getting things back on track with your family, the train went flying off the rails when it came to your friends and it was all your fault.

It wasn't like you didn't try -God, did you try- to keep yourself from falling back into old habits but Malibu just had a way of bringing out the absolute worst in you. Your old self, the girl who kept to herself and pushed everyone away, someone you thought you buried in the deepest grave, slowly came back from the dead with a vengeance little by little, so subtly you didn't realize what was happening until it was too late. 

One missed phone call turned into two, texts went unanswered for days or not at all, FaceTime sessions happened less and less. The last video chat had been with Kiara and it ended terribly, after you blew up at her for mending her friendship with Sarah Cameron in the near two years since you'd been gone, spitting words you couldn't quite remember -something along the lines of 'didn't take you too long to replace me, huh' and calling the blonde girl a 'heinous bitch'- but knew you regretted with everything you had and hanging up before she had a chance to explain. You couldn't even recall the last time you talked to Pope or John B aside from the occasional Snapchat and your daily calls with JJ had turned to once a week, if you were lucky.

He was trying, you could tell, and so were you but the deck was stacked against you and you were never very good at cards, anyway. It hurt to try, it hurt not to try, everything just hurt. Nearly two years apart had done their damage and coupled with your debilitating fear of being forgotten that clawed at your chest like a rabid dog, your relationship was on unstable ground and for the first time in almost four years, you were thinking about the end. It wasn't like you didn't love him anymore (holy shit, were you still completely head over heels in love). In fact, you loved him so much you realized that he could do so, so much better than you and the thought rested heavy and bittersweet on your mind, lurking in the shadows until you were ready to bring it to light.

It happened on New Year's Eve. Alone in your room, your hands shook as you answered JJ's call at midnight, his voice tired and a little hoarse from celebrating the new year three hours earlier on the opposite coast and you nearly started crying right then and there when you replied with a shaky "I think we need to talk."

"Babe, what's wrong?"

You took a deep breath and said quietly, "Everything."

"Talk to me." The pure concern in those three words nearly convinced you to call it off, to tell him to forget you said anything and that you were fine, everything was just fine but deep down, you knew you couldn't.

"I've been thinking about us and I...I just think that you deserve better than me. Someone who can actually be there for you when you need her and hold you when your dad's an asshole and see you every day. Someone who can laugh at your silly jokes and share a joint with you and clean you up when you get into fights defending your friends-"

"Babe, what are you talking about? That girl is you."

"Maybe I was but I'm not anymore and I don't think I have been since I left. I just can't be the girl you want, I can't be the girl you deserve, J -I'm a total fucking mess and you can do so, so much better than me."

"Y/N."

You didn't know you were crying until you heard the broken way he breathed your name and salt water dripped from your chin onto the bracelet around your wrist. 

"...are you breaking up with me?" His voice was impossibly small, the quietest you'd ever heard it and the exact moment your battered heart shattered into pieces was when you realized he didn't even put up a fight. 

"I think so." The words tore through you like a gunshot as you cried, curling into yourself on the bed in an effort to ward off the worst pain you'd ever felt in your life and you wondered if it was possible to die from a wound that wasn't even physical. 

He was quiet for a long time, so long you thought he hung up without you noticing through your tears, until he sniffed on the other end of the line.

"Guess we had a pretty good run, huh?" He asked with a watery chuckle and you found yourself giving a tiny, shuddering giggle in response -God, even when you were breaking his heart he still managed to make you laugh.

"The best, baby." The pet name slipped out like second nature and you winced, hastily trying to cover your mistake with an awkward cough but from the sharp breath you heard him take, he'd heard it anyway.

("I'm sorry," you said, and it stood as an apology for more than just your slip-up.)

"I love you, Y/N. Probably always will."

"I'll never stop loving you, JJ. That's a promise."

You let yourself believe him as you laid there bleeding from a gash you couldn't see, a wound you knew would never heal, and you hoped he let himself believe you, too, even when you ended the call without another word and threw your phone away from you, not bothering to see where it landed. The sound of your heavy, broken sobs filled the room and you didn't even mind when your mom, who you knew had been listening from the other side of your closed door like always, barged in and took you into her arms, stroking your hair as you cried into her lap.

If you were supposed to avoid getting hurt by leaving first, why did it feel like everything in you was broken? If you were making the right choice, why did it feel so wrong? You didn't have the answers and no matter how hard you searched, you knew you'd ever find them.  

So you tried to stay busy. You joined the surf club at school, got a part-time job at the local aquarium, did anything you could to distract yourself from the hurt and the guilt and the way getting out of bed every morning was the hardest thing to do. Surf club introduced you to Mackenzie, the one girl who was more ostracized at school -an even richer version of the kook academy you hated -than you, her for being freakishly tall and you for your East Coast attitude, and the two of you became fast, if reluctant friends. Mack didn't try to stitch the gaping hole in your heart caused by your absent friends but she numbed the pain just enough to make it bearable and you were grateful for her calm, steady presence at your side, even as you both tried to keep each other at arm's length.  

Later, you found out she was just like you, friendless and awkward with no self-esteem and a tendency to push people away, and that just cemented your friendship through the summer and your final year of high school.

Mack told you all about her life, growing up with no siblings, having height that she never learned to deal with, and a debilitating social anxiety that made making friends near impossible, and in turn you told her about how you hopped from town to town on your mother's whims, the wonderful friends you let slip away, and the beautiful boyfriend you loved enough to let go, and you both cried together for the lives you could've led.

"You two looked so happy," She said during the first sleepover you hosted as she held one of the many picture frames littering your dresser, her lips turned upwards in a small smile.

You gently took the frame from her hands and ran your fingers over the grinning face of your ex-boyfriend, his arms wrapped around your shoulders as your painted lips planted a deep red kiss on his cheek, and the wave of longing washing over you was almost strong enough to bring you to your knees. "It was the happiest I've ever been."

"Do you miss him?"

"So much it hurts."

i miss you.

i'm so sorry.

i still love you.

You'd typed and erased those texts every day but never mustered the courage to hit send and you couldn't decide if that was a blessing in disguise or the worst possible curse. Of course you still loved JJ: you promised you would and even if you didn't, you couldn't stop if you tried. He was your first love, the boy you so willingly gave your whole heart and then some; you still kept his ring on your thumb -the one he gave you at the airport the day you left- and his bracelet around your wrist, his bandanas in your hair and his face in your dreams and you knew you always would.

Before you could blink, your eighteenth birthday flew by and graduation was upon you.

You thought the second you were done with high school you'd be gone, heading straight back to the Outer Banks and the life you left behind but you found yourself stalling on sending in an application to UNC -Chapel Hill until you missed the deadline for the fall semester. On the outside, you made up a semi-legit excuse about getting your basic courses done at a community college to save money but deep down you really knew why you procrastinated: you were terrified to go back. Ever since your break up with JJ, you hadn't spoken to him or any of your old friends other than the obligatory birthday wishes on Facebook and you wondered if the damage you'd done over the years was too much to come back from, even as you tried to work up the courage to find out for sure.

Another year passed: in between earning college credits, you and Daisy took a sister's trip to Disneyland, Mack asked you to tag along on a jaunt up the coast to San Francisco to see Alcatraz, your parents celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary (your gift was long-overdue forgiveness and they said it was the greatest thing you possibly could've given them). When the time came, you and Mack both sent out your applications to UNC -you for biology, her for chemistry- and the myriad of emotions you felt when you got in was nothing short of dizzying. The old you was terrified, screaming at you to rip up the letter and join your sister at UCLA instead of opening old wounds but the hopeful you, the girl who lived without fear, the girl who fell in love and let herself be loved, screamed louder.

And so you killed the old you once again, burying her even deeper than the last time in a locked chest and throwing the key as far as you could out into the Pacific where you knew you'd never find it. You clutched your acceptance letter close to your chest and took a step east, away from California and toward the place where your broken heart still rested, scattered in pieces across the sand.

Settling in at UNC was surprisingly easy. You and Mack already clicked pretty well as friends so making the transition to roommates was natural and, dare you say it, even a little fun and the two of you quickly fell into a comfortable routine in your tiny apartment off campus in Chapel Hill. Comfortable and yet...that happiness you once felt all those years ago was missing from your life and you found yourself just as restless as you were in Malibu. While you knew exactly what you needed to do, that fear kept rearing its ugly head in the back of your mind, poisoning your thoughts: what if they wouldn't be happy to see you, what if they forgot about you, what if they hated you? What if he hated you?

It was terrifying, picturing yourself turning up at the Chateau with a hopeful smile only to have the door slammed right in your face. Deep down, you knew they'd never do that to you no matter how badly you'd hurt them but when you'd spent your whole life expecting the worst, taking a leap of faith wasn't an easy feat -something Mack just couldn't wrap her head around.

"I don't get it."

You glanced up from where you were lounging on your bed, flipping through your biology notes in preparation for your lab exam the next morning and shot your roommate a confused look. "Get what?”

Mack sat at your desk, her own notebooks lying ignored as she spun the chair around to face you, arms crossed. "Why you haven't hopped on that ferry to go get your man yet!"

You froze for a moment too long before offering a half-hearted shrug as you fiddled with the beads at the end of your bracelet. "It's not that easy. He probably wants nothing to do with me and I don't blame him."

"How do you know? You haven't talked to JJ in over a year, right?" At your tight nod, she continued, "What if he's just like you-"

"Depressed?"

Mack fixed you with a flat, unamused look. "Still in love, dumbass."

You scoffed and propped your chin in your hand as you glanced back down at your study guide, trying not to latch onto that little thought -hope and pain all rolled into one- that sparked to life at her words. He'd said he would probably always love you that New Year's Eve and back then you'd let yourself believe him but now, you weren't so sure. "Yeah, right. No way he's still...still in love with me after I broke his heart."

"Maybe he is, maybe he isn't," Your roommate said with a shrug, spinning around on the chair to grab her things. "You'll never know if you don't get over there, track his fine ass down, and talk to him."

You stared down at your notes without actually seeing anything, the slanted letters of your handwriting blurring before your eyes as the other girl flipped her chemistry book closed and stood, shooting you an warm smile that you didn't see. 

"Listen, Y/N, you're my best friend and I want to see you happy more than anything but I can't take that jump for you. Yeah, it's scary and nerve wracking and you might end up hurt worse than before, so what? That's just...life."

Mack left after that, crossing the apartment to her room so she could get ready for a date with a girl from her psych class, leaving you alone with tears on your face and a million thoughts in your head, all of them terrifying and exciting and oh so loud.

She was right, of course -Mack always knew the right thing to say- and as you stared down at the bracelets on your wrists and the ring on your thumb, the pictures on your phone and the too-big shirt hanging off one shoulder, you realized sitting around moping wasn't gonna solve anything; if you wanted your happiness, your friends, the love of your life back, you needed to step up and fight for them with everything you had. And so you wiped the tears from your cheeks and walked to the cliff's edge with your head held high, ready for the fall and whatever came with it. You were ready to fix your mistakes, no matter how badly it might hurt.

Still, you couldn't do it all on your own. You needed some help to make things right again and while you knew just who to ask, you weren't quite sure if they'd be willing to lend a hand. Desperate times called for desperate measures though and you penned a good old-fashioned letter, feeling like a heroine in a Jane Austen novel as you poured all your thoughts -your dreams, wishes, hopes- onto a piece of paper in bold blue ink and sent it off to its destination on Figure 8, your Hail Mary for a happy ending sealed up neatly in a single envelope.

Mack, bless her heart, did her best to keep your spirits up as you waited on a response but even her ever reassuring presence couldn't keep you from worrying as one week passed by, then two. Halfway through the third you'd almost given up, already wracking your brain for another way to make your plan work when your phone chimed with a text from an unknown number.

i'll help you

And just like that, the moment you'd been waiting for was finally within your reach; you told your parents not to expect you for Thanksgiving break, called your sister for a much needed pep talk, and started counting down the days until you'd see your friends again, for better or worse.

When you left the Outer Banks three years ago, it was sunny. You were sixteen, young and in love and scared about the future.

When you returned, it was in the middle of a storm. You were nineteen, a little bit older but no less in love and definitely still scared about what was waiting for you at the end of the road.

Rain pounded against the roof of Sarah Cameron's SUV as she drove away from the docks and toward the Chateau, her fingers tapping along to the music playing quietly through the radio. You sat in the passenger seat, soaked to the bone from your ferry ride from the mainland and shaking like a leaf despite the towel wrapped around your shoulders and the warm air flowing from the car's vents.

"Thanks for coming to get me," You said, wincing at the awkward lilt of your voice echoing in the small space as you spun JJ's ring around your thumb and stared out the windshield at the familiar sights streaking by in blurred shades of green and brown. Being back opened a Pandora's box of emotions in your head, both good and bad, and instead of trying to sort them out, you let them bounce around in your brain like a pinball machine and concentrated on methodically twirling the warm metal ring in circles on your finger.

Sarah briefly glanced away from the road to shoot you a small smile, her kind eyes softening at your visible nervousness. "Not gonna lie, I was pretty sure you hated me so when I got your letter it kinda...threw me for a loop. Sorry it took me so long to reply."

You wished the heated leather seat would swallow you whole as you winced again and wrapped the towel tighter around your shoulders. "For the longest time, I thought I did hate you but I realized I was just...scared of losing my friends and I took it out on you. You didn't deserve to be labeled the villain in my story when I was the one, um, sabotaging myself, I guess." You took a deep breath and picked at a loose thread tickling your arm. "And I'm really, really grateful for your help."

It was more than you wanted to admit out loud -nearly the same words were written in the letter peeking out from the center console of the car- but at the same time, you knew it was what needed to be said and from the way the blonde girl's fingers stopped tapping against the steering wheel, she knew she needed to hear it. At a red light, she quickly tapped out a text on her phone before tossing in back into her bag with another tiny grin in your direction.

"Happy to help. For what it's worth, I'm so sorry if I made you feel like you were being replaced, I never intended to hurt you or steal your friends or...or, I don't know, usurp-" 

"Sarah, stop. Please," You held up a hand to cut off her apology and offered her a self-deprecating smile. "I'm the one who's sorry. I let my...jealousy get the best of me and I feel so bad about all the shit I said 'cause that wasn't fair to you at all and I hope you can forgive me-"

"Y/N, there's nothing to forgive! We all say stupid shit when we're mad -trust me, I know." She interrupted with a bubbly, contagious giggle that seemed to scare away the gloomy storm clouds gathered over your head for a moment in time. "But I was never pissed at you, ever. I just want you to know that."

Stunned, you settled deeper into the seat and started playing with your ring again as she kept driving on, unbothered by your lack of response. You felt like you were thirteen again, back when Sarah and Kiara were your only friends, before the birthday disaster and the whole pogue versus kook feud that got completely out of hand; it felt...nice and you found yourself hoping that the blonde girl would still want to be your friend again, no matter what the others thought about your sudden return. 

"Thank you."

Sarah gave no indication she heard your quiet confession of gratitude but from the way you watched her smile grow out of the corner of your eye, you knew she did. The rest of the drive passed in companionable silence as you retreated into your own thoughts, your nerves getting worse and worse the closer you got to your destination.

You took a deep breath and let it out slowly through your nose, feeling like your heart was trying to beat its way through your rib cage. You hadn't been this anxious in a long, long time, so long you almost forgot how much you hated the tightness in your chest, how your palms would start to sweat, the way you'd chew the inside of your cheek until you tasted blood on your tongue. By the time Sarah pulled into an open spot beside the achingly familiar Volkswagen parked in front of the Chateau, you were surprised you were still able to breathe.

The sight of the tiny house, one you spent so many carefree days and beautiful nights in alongside your friends, standing virtually unchanged in front of you was like a shot to the heart and your hands, curled into fists on your lap, began to shake without warning. Shit, you were a godforsaken mess; how the hell were you supposed to do this without having a mental breakdown?

"I'm so scared."

The whispered words, barely audible over the torrential rain against the roof, slipped from your mouth before you could stop them and Sarah slowly reached one hand over to give your trembling wrist a reassuring squeeze, the corners of her mouth curled upward in a slight smile.

"Don't be. They're gonna be so happy to see you!"

You turned to look at her, eyebrows knit together in disbelief. "How are you so sure they still care about me?"

"I'm sure 'cause I've seen it. My God, if only you could've heard all the times they talked about you -'I wish Y/N was here,' 'remember that time with Y/N,' hell, just straight 'I miss Y/N so fucking much,'" She said bluntly and shifted in the driver's seat to face you head on, smiling wider at the thunderstruck look on your face. "Pretty sure I haven't gone a week without JJ saying that last one at least once." 

"I thought..." You paused, tongue darting out to run over your dry lips as you tried to put your jumbled feelings into words, "I thought he'd hate me -I mean, after all I've done, you think he still..."

"Loves you? Are you kidding?" Her reply was so enthusiastic it was hard not to believe her as she went on, her words like sunshine brightening the darkest corners of your mind. "He's still head over heels, I've never seen him even look at another girl in three damn years. You know he still wears your necklace, the one with the silver star? Kie told me all about it."

"I-I didn't." You remembered giving it to him the day you left, managing a shaky smile through your tears as you carefully clasped it around his neck, your fingers running over his skin as you settled the charm perfectly alongside that little shark tooth you'd grown to love.

('Be careful with this, baby. It's my favorite.' You had said, crying harder when he'd taken off one of his rings and slipped it onto your thumb.

'Well, this one's my favorite so take good care of it, okay?' His voice had been light but his eyes were heavy with unspoken words that you'd heard loud and clear because you knew your gaze said the exact same things.

don't let me go

don't break my heart

don't stop loving me)

You coughed to disguise the fat tears that started rolling down your face, quickly wiping them away with your sleeve but the blonde girl wasn't fooled as she gave your hand another friendly squeeze.

"Come on, they're probably wondering what's taking me so long," She sent a conspiratorial wink your way and grabbed her bag from the center console. "I told them I was picking up some pizzas but I have a funny feeling they won't be too pissed that I lied."

With a desperate grip on the strap of your backpack and your heart racing, you trailed behind Sarah through the rain to the front porch. 

"Ready?" She glanced back where you lingered at the top of the stairs, anxiously shuffling from foot to foot, and shot you a smile that did little to calm your nerves. "Just wait here!"

She knocked on the door before you could reply and yelled loud enough to be heard over the pouring rain, "Hey, it's me! Can somebody get the door? My hands are kinda full."

"Got it!"

Your bag slipped from your fingers and fell onto the porch with a loud thump at the sound of the voice floating through the open windows, a voice you heard nearly every night as you slept, in your dreams of a future you wanted with everything you had. You knew it better than your knew your own, knew every pitch and tone and lilt; quiet and raspy in the mornings when you woke up in each other's arms, loud and carefree during long days spent under the golden sun with the rest of your friends, soft and warm and laid bare at night when he showed how much he loved you with more than just words.

Sarah gave you an enthusiastic thumbs up before stepping to the side just as the door opened and you suddenly found yourself struggling to breathe as you stared into the wide blue eyes of your ex-boyfriend. JJ stared right back, one of the hands you used to hold clenched so tight around the doorknob his knuckles were white, the lips you used to kiss parted in surprise, the blond hair you used to run your fingers through falling onto his forehead like always and the familiar, beautiful sight of him standing close enough to touch made your knees weak.

"You're not pizza."

It was such a JJ thing to say and you didn't know whether to laugh or cry as you swallowed thickly and shook your head. "Sorry to disappoint you."

"I'm not."

"Oh."

Hope flared white hot in your chest at his words but it quickly started to fade, replaced by fear when he made no move toward you, his fingers still gripping tight to the door, and you felt your face start to heat in embarrassment as Sarah looked back and forth between the two of you like she was watching a tennis match. 

God, you were so stupid. What did you expect would happen, showing up out of the blue after over a year of no contact? Everything would fall into place again with just one long, heavy look? Believing it could be that easy turned you into a complete and total fool, tongue-tied and insecure and weak.

"Yo, what's the hold up?" John B's voice asked from inside the house and Sarah leaned down to call through the open window, "Come out here and find out!"

A wave of dizziness hit you like a truck and you took a sudden step back toward the stairs, arms wrapping around your stomach as it twisted itself into knots. "I'm sorry, I-I shouldn't have come. This was a mistake." You didn't notice the stricken look that crossed JJ's face or the three familiar, stunned expressions that appeared behind him in the darkened doorway before turning away and stumbling off the porch toward the road, leaving your bag behind and you definitely didn't notice how you barely made it off the bottom stair before a set of footsteps hastily gave chase. 

"It wasn't a mistake, Y/N!" JJ's desperate voice stopped you in your tracks, halfway across the yard with more than just rain running down your face. "Not to me, never to me."

His soft touch on your wrist sent shockwaves through your body and you instantly became putty in his hands, letting him turn you around without a fight to face him, watching in fascination as the downpour started to darken his gray shirt and flatten his hair against his forehead. Three years hadn't changed much about him -he was a little taller, hair a little longer, the muscles in his arms a little more defined- and when you met his wide-eyed gaze, beads of rain dripping from his long eyelashes like diamonds, you wondered if he was thinking about the differences time created between the younger you of the past and the you of the right now, too.

"Oh." You repeated dumbly, struggling for something, anything to say that didn't make you sound like an illiterate fool. Even at nineteen, words still weren't your strong suit so you let your actions speak for you as your hand reached out on its own accord to caress the silver star still clasped around his neck, the thumb still wearing his ring brushing slowly against the dip between his collarbones; he shivered, and you weren't really sure if it was from your touch or the cold. 

"Y/N." JJ said your name like a prayer, like he couldn't believe you were there in front of him, and you inhaled sharply when both of his hands slowly, carefully moved to cup your face, his calloused thumbs habitually wiping the tears from your cheeks over and over, even as more instantly replaced the ones he swept away. "I fucking missed you."

You stood there, looking like a damned drowned rat with your hair dripping into your eyes, shivering in your soaked jeans and Kildare County High School sweatshirt, the love of your life cradling your face so gently in his hands, and so many things you wanted to say flooding your brain but only the one that mattered the most managed to get by your trembling lips.  

"I'm still in love with you." 

You noticed a lot when you put your heart on the line: the steady, soothing sound of water falling through the trees, the bright, clean taste of rain on your tongue, how the sun was just barely starting to peek out from behind the stormy clouds, but they all paled in comparison to the little things you noticed about the boy in front of you; blue irises made even brighter by the red rimming his eyes, how he stepped closer on the wet grass until the tips of his scuffed boots touched your worn gray high tops, the way his hands trembled ever so slightly against your flushed face. 

"Well, it's your lucky day 'cause I'm still in love with you, too."

All of the breath left your lungs in one big rush when JJ smiled hopefully -oh, how you loved everything about that smile: his slightly crooked teeth, that dimple in his cheek, the endearing pink blush swept across his nose- and you felt yourself return it without a second thought, your own hope once again burning bright in your chest.

"Even after...everything?" Your voice shook like the fingers you slid into the hair at his nape and he leaned down to rest his forehead against yours, close enough you could feel his breath on your lips when he spoke.

"I told you I'd always love you, didn't I?"

You nodded, a delicious shiver running down your spine when he tilted his head just so and gently bumped your nose with his. You remembered all the times he did that through the years, a dizzying slideshow of memories that flashed through your mind like lightning, and your fingers wove themselves deeper in his hair. 

"I have so many things to apologize for," You said with a tiny, quiet shake of your head, tearing your eyes away from his in shame and staring over his shoulder toward where the rest of your friends watched from the porch, all crowded together at the top of the stairs with identical enthralled expressions on their faces. "There are so many mistakes I've made and people I've hurt and I have no idea how to even start saying sorry for it all." 

"Babe."

The sound of your old pet name caused your gaze to snap right back to his and your heart felt like it was about to beat right out of your chest when one of his hands trailed down the sensitive skin of your neck and then lower until it traced along the curve of your hip and left a line of fire in its wake.

"We'll figure that out later, okay?" JJ said as his fingers tucked a loose strand of wet hair behind your ear, a coy, ardent grin on his face. "'Cause I've been waiting three years to kiss you again and if I don't get to do it soon, I'm gonna lose my fucking mind."

You smiled -a wide, joyful, elated smile- and rose up on your tiptoes in anticipation. "Then kiss me." 

You didn't have to tell him twice. His lips pressed against yours desperately, like he needed you to breathe, like you were the very air in his lungs, religiously, like your mouth was the altar and he was there to worship as he pulled you close, the fingers of one hand tangling in your hair while the others dug into your hip. You kissed him back just as hard and the familiar taste of him on your tongue -mint, smoke, salt- sent that dearly missed spark racing through your veins like wildfire.

It was a little cliché, having your long-awaited reunion kiss in the rain but it was honest and candid and real and so much better than anything you could've dreamed. You lost yourself in his touch like you used to, clinging to him like a lifeline and pouring your whole heart into every fierce brush of your lips against his, both of you pulling away for a moment only to dive right back in each time. It was addictive, intoxicating, and you could've spent the rest of your life standing there in the middle of the yard and kissing like there was no tomorrow if a loud, ear-piercing wolf whistle hadn't come from the direction of the porch.

The two of you broke apart just barely, with foreheads still pressed together and swollen lips, and you couldn't stop yourself from giggling when JJ blindly flipped the bird over his shoulder before pulling you back in for another eager kiss that filled your whole body with an exhilarating, heavenly heat that never faded, even after four enthusiastic voices suddenly surrounded you like an excited swarm of nosy, buzzing bees.

"You aren't the only one who missed her, J." Kiara said, smiling widely as you reached out to grab her hand and pull her into a powerful one-armed hug, her chin resting on your shoulder.

"Yeah, stop hogging all the love!" John B added, throwing himself into the pile along with Pope, who slung an arm around your shoulders as he said, "Great to have you back, Y/N."

Sarah was the last to join and she quietly tucked herself under John B's arm with a pleased grin on her face, nodding when you mouthed 'thank you' in her direction. The six of you stood there in the rain, smiling like fools, and as the sun started to scare away the dark clouds overhead and in your heart, a weight you didn't even realize had been crushing your chest slowly began to lift away with each freeing breath. 

You still had a lot of work to do: wrongs to be righted, apologies to be made, explanations -not excuses- to be given for every shitty thing you did in your past. But as happy tears started streaming down your face once again and you felt the arms of the friends you’d thought were lost to you forever tighten around you at the sight, you knew in your bones all would be forgiven. You knew that after three long years, you'd finally come home.

-

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