#i’m passing tmrw !

[silentgrim]

taking drivers ed this week

[juyeoz]

me after playing 3 hours worth of valorant instead of studying for chem….

[alittleemo]

the lord is going to need to send me four different blessings to balance out the way this week is going 😍 like one is not enough brother

[moonshynecybin]

going to the ENT they’re gonna stick a camera down my throat :(

[ibithesnail]

ok gn! i have a driving test tmrw again & if i don’t pass it i die (can only retake it in half a year)

[autisticlancemcclain]

okay so i MEANT to write smth new for lances bday. instead i got distracted by my longfic that i’ve literally been working on for a year bc i DESPERATELY want it finished in the next couple days. so as a holder i have a snippet from the longfic for y’all tonight, i hope u like and happy birthday lance!!!

[girlstressed]

i’m soooo fucked for physics LMAO

[reaperseal-archive]

had such a busy day today and i’m soooo unbelievably exhausted/burnt out from being in busy public places in the city all day and having sensory issues i really need to get noise cancelling headphones :P

buuut my partner surprised me by bringing me to miniso for the first time and forced me to pick out some sanrio merch for him to buy for me because he knowwwws how bad i want it but won’t buy it myself lol 🥺

they had no pompom merch in stock (so sad) so i got a kuromi pillow and 2 pajamas sweetheart blind boxes… i got 2 diff my melody figures!!!! unfortunately they didn’t have the Kuromi lucky divination/party series blind boxes in stock either but i’m sooo happy with what i did manage to get hehe ^_^

even tho i’m super burnt out and cried in public a little and need to recover, today was so fun and i feel so content. i love mike so much i licherally want to consume him. like i need to morph into his being so we can become one tbh.

he is so gentle and kind and he would give me the moon and stars if he could.. i didn’t know it was possible to fall in love more every day even after 7 years together <3

[eeunwoo]

me when I actually get a nice ask

[paucubarsisimp]

just the beginning

pairing: pedri x reader

summary: in which you meet pedri for the first time

warnings: none

a/n: i know i said i would do them tmrw but i couldn't sleep and i should probaby go to sleep since its 3:22 am.. but i also have to wake up in three hours. also this was requested on my wattpad!!

it was one of those warm, golden evenings where everything felt a little slower, a little sweeter. the kind where the sunlight lingers just long enough to kiss your cheeks, and the breeze carries that faint promise of summer. you hadn’t planned on staying long at fer’s party—just a casual stop to say hi, maybe chat for a bit and head home. but something about the atmosphere felt… different. lighter. like something was waiting.

you adjusted your dress strap as you stepped through the open patio doors, music playing softly from the living room. familiar voices floated through the space, laughter echoing as groups of friends mingled in the glow of string lights. you spotted fer almost instantly, drink in hand, deep in conversation with a few friends. he caught your eye and waved you over with a grin.

“hey, you made it!” he said, pulling you in for a friendly side hug. “didn’t think you’d actually come.”

you smiled, nudging him gently. “rude. of course i did. your mom guilted me into it.”

“classic,” he laughed, then glanced over his shoulder. “oh, my brother’s here too. he’s around somewhere.”

you nodded, only vaguely remembering that pedri was his younger brother—quiet, kind, insanely talented. you’d never met him in person, just heard stories in passing, and seen glimpses of him on tv when fer insisted on showing you his highlights like a proud dad.

you wandered inside to grab a drink, navigating the gentle chaos of the room when—suddenly—you turned a corner and bumped directly into someone.

your breath caught. “oh, i’m so sorry—”

strong hands caught you gently by the arms, steadying you. “no, that was my fault,” a soft voice said, warm and a little shy.

you looked up… and your heart did a strange little flip.

he was close. too close. he had that boyish kind of softness in his face, curls slightly messy, eyes like warm honey in the low light. and his smile—it wasn’t even a full one, just the ghost of a grin—but it made your knees go a little weak.

“are you okay?” he asked, brows pulling together just slightly.

you nodded, suddenly breathless. “yeah. i mean—yes. totally fine. sorry again.”

he tilted his head slightly, studying you for a beat longer than necessary. “you’re friends with fer, right?”

you blinked, caught off guard. “yeah. i’m y/n.”

his smile deepened, and something about it felt familiar, comforting. “i’m pedri.”

you tried not to visibly react, but the way your heart stuttered gave you away.

“oh. right.” you smiled back, a little shy. “he’s mentioned you a lot.”

“hopefully only the good things,” he teased gently, rubbing the back of his neck.

you laughed, soft and nervous. “mostly. he left out the part where you knock people over.”

“to be fair, i didn’t know there’d be anyone as clumsy as me here,” he said, grinning now.

you both stood there for a moment, the party humming in the background, but neither of you moved. it was like the world around you faded just a little, and you were tucked in a quiet pocket of your own.

“do you… want to go outside?” he asked suddenly, voice hopeful. “it’s kind of loud in here.”

you nodded, smiling. “i’d like that.”

you walked side by side into the garden, your shoulders brushing now and then as you found a quieter spot beneath the fairy lights. the sky was slowly darkening, the stars just starting to peek out. pedri looked up at them, hands in his pockets, a soft look on his face.

“i don’t really do this a lot,” he admitted after a moment.

“come to parties?” you asked.

he shook his head. “talk to people like this. it’s easy with my team or my family, but… this feels different.”

you looked over at him, heart fluttering. “different how?”

he met your eyes, something gentle and a little vulnerable in his expression. “like… good different.”

you smiled, the warmth blooming in your chest spreading out to your fingertips. “yeah. it does.”

he sat down on the edge of the low garden wall and patted the space beside him. you joined him, knees brushing, and everything felt soft and slow. you talked about little things—his favorite place to relax, your favorite rainy day song, the small joys no one really asks about. and every time he laughed or looked at you with that quiet kind of wonder, your heart tucked the moment away like a secret.

at one point, he looked down at your hand resting beside his, and then up at you. “can i…?”

you nodded before he even finished, and his fingers brushed yours, then slowly intertwined. it was the gentlest touch, but it held something real. something new.

“this is nice,” he whispered.

“yeah,” you said, leaning just a little closer. “really nice.”

and in that soft, golden moment under the stars, with your fingers linked and the sound of laughter drifting in from the house, it felt like the start of something you hadn’t even known you were waiting for. something slow and sweet and kind.

maybe even love.

taglist: @barcapix, @universefcb, @nngkay, @joaosnovia, @ilovebarcaaaa, @levidazai, lmk if you want to be added!

[callikari]

TU AS TOUJOURS ÉTÉ À MOI x pourquoi est-ce que je n'ai jamais pu te laisser partir

恩海彭·杰伊 x fem!reader !! nombre de mots ──── 3.3k genre , angst , exes to ?? avertissement brief mentions of past heartbreak , guilt , heavy emotional themes

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ 维维安 content que tu sois là

ViViAN'S LETTER — gradient was a bit hard but its okay!! this and then the hidden love inspired fic is out tmrw night if i have time today and tomorrow ❕❕

you never thought you’d be the type to stare at a blank email draft, fingers hovering over the keyboard, unable to press send.

but here you are.

the cursor blinks at you, waiting. outside, the city is quiet—except for the occasional sound of a car passing by, headlights flickering against your window.

it’s 2:07 a.m., and you should be sleeping. instead, you’re here, thinking about him.

To: parkjongseong92@gmail.com

Subject: (none)

Message:

i don’t even know why i’m writing this. maybe it’s because i can’t sleep. maybe it’s because i heard a song today that reminded me of you. or maybe it’s because no matter how much time passes, i can’t shake the feeling that i left things unfinished.

i hate that i still think about you. i hate that you still feel like home, even when i know i can’t go back. but the worst part? i don’t even hate you.

i wish i did. it would make this easier. but you were never the one who hurt me. you were just caught in the crossfire. and instead of holding on, i let you go.

i keep replaying that night in my head. the way you looked at me, confused, frustrated—heartbroken. i think that’s what hurts the most. knowing that i hurt you when all you ever did was try to love me.

i hope you’re doing okay. i hope you’re happy. you deserve to be.

i’m sorry.

(Sent at 2:10 am)

your finger hovers over the send button.

your heart pounds.

before you can stop yourself, you press it.

you don’t expect a reply.

but for the next two days, you check your phone more often than you’d like to admit. each time, disappointment settles in your chest like a weight.

it’s fine. you tell yourself you sent the email for closure, not for a response.

but then—

your phone buzzes.

you glance at the screen, expecting it to be something unimportant. but when you see the name, your breath catches.

jay: let’s talk.

the coffee shop is the same.

it looks exactly like it did when you last came here together. the same wooden tables, the same dim lighting, the same warm scent of freshly brewed coffee filling the air.

you hesitate at the door, taking a shaky breath before stepping inside.

jay is already there.

he’s sitting by the window, fingers wrapped around a cup of coffee. when he notices you, he straightens slightly, eyes meeting yours.

he looks different.

a little older. a little more tired.

but still jay.

you swallow the lump in your throat and make your way over to him.

he stands up when you reach the table. for a moment, neither of you speak.

“hi,” you say.

“hi,” he replies.

he gestures to the seat across from him. you sit down, the silence between you stretching, filled with unspoken words.

he looks at you for a long moment before breaking the silence.

“i got your email.”

you nod, staring down at your hands. “i wasn’t expecting a response.”

he exhales, running a hand through his hair. “yeah, well. i wasn’t expecting you to send it.”

you hesitate before speaking again. “i meant it. all of it.”

he nods slowly. “i know.” his voice is soft. careful. “but i need to know… why now?”

you take a deep breath before meeting his gaze.

“because i finally realized that losing you hurt more than anything else.”

jay’s lips press together, his fingers tapping against his coffee cup.

“i waited for you, you know,” he says after a moment. “i wanted you to believe me. to believe in us.”

guilt twists in your stomach. “i know.”

“but you didn’t.”

you look down. “i wasn’t ready.”

jay looks away, exhaling through his nose. “and now?”

you hesitate.

“i don’t know,” you admit. “but i want to try.”

silence.

your heart pounds as you wait for him to say something—anything.

for a second, you’re terrified that this is it. that he’s going to tell you it’s too late.

but then—

“okay,” he says.

you blink, surprised. “okay?”

he nods. “yeah.”

he lifts his coffee to his lips, taking a slow sip before meeting your gaze again.

“let’s try.”

the first time you see him again after that, it’s strange.

it’s careful.

you meet at the same coffee shop, sitting across from each other, still a little uncertain. the conversation is hesitant, filled with pauses. but it’s not bad.

it’s just… different.

but as the days pass, something shifts.

the carefulness fades, little by little. the silences aren’t as heavy. the conversations aren’t as forced.

one evening, he laughs at something you say, and the sound is so familiar it almost makes your chest ache.

it’s been a long time since you last heard jay laugh like that.

you smile.

things don’t go back to the way they were overnight.

there are moments of doubt. moments where you wonder if this was the right decision, if you should’ve just let the past stay in the past.

but then there are moments where everything feels right.

like when you’re walking together, and he instinctively steps closer to the street, shielding you from passing cars.

like when he remembers your coffee order, handing you a cup without you even having to ask.

like when he looks at you with that same warmth in his eyes—the one you thought you’d lost forever.

one night, you’re sitting together in his car, parked outside your apartment.

you’re both quiet, listening to the rain tapping against the windshield.

“can i ask you something?” you finally say.

he nods. “of course.”

you hesitate before speaking. “did you ever hate me? after everything?”

he’s silent for a moment.

then he shakes his head. “no. never.”

you swallow hard. “even when i walked away?”

“even then,” he says softly. “i was angry. i was hurt. but i never hated you.”

you look down at your hands. “i think i hated myself for a long time.”

jay reaches over, his fingers brushing yours. you freeze for a moment before letting him intertwine your hands together.

“you don’t have to do that anymore,” he murmurs.

your throat tightens. you squeeze his hand.

you don’t know where this is going.

but for the first time in a long time, you let yourself believe that maybe, just maybe, this isn’t the end.

perm taglist — @ash-engen @cheruphic @jungwonbropls

© callikari — all rights reserved

[katiebuggg]

You really got a hold on me

---

teddy boy John x reader fic!

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this is my first ever tumblr post so I'll be posting here until my ao3 account gets approved LOL If you guys like this fic I'll write chapter 2 and have it up by tmrw. enjoy!

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It’s early morning, February 1960, in Liverpool. In the silence of the night before, a quiet dusting of snow had fallen onto the still-sleeping city. The crisp air bites at Y/N’s nose as she hustles through the streets. Clutching a mess of papers to her chest, Y/N briefly glances down at her Sultana watch. Its face is small, and the band is a braided leather adorned with gold hardware. It was her first big purchase with the money she had earned herself—at the job she is now extremely late for.

“Shit!” she panics to herself as she quickens her pace, her heeled boots kicking up light snow as she dashes around one corner, then the next. Her heavy tote slides down her shoulder with every brisk step, making it difficult to keep the papers hugged to her fur-lined coat while simultaneously pulling up the bag’s slipping strap.

Finally, fifteen minutes late, Y/N tugs at the cold iron door handle of the building where she works. Her job at the local newspaper isn’t glamorous, but it keeps the lights on and puts her brand-new communications degree to use. She flashes a sheepish grin at the woman at the front desk—her friend Nancy. Nancy blinks back through her false eyelashes, unamused. She’s only a year older than Y/N but is quick-witted, sharp, and, most importantly, beautiful. Naturally, she worked her way up to the front desk swiftly. Her long, pin-straight black hair is pulled tightly into a French bun, and she wears a dark grey boxy dress with a thin white cardigan over top.

“Second time you’ve been late this month, Y/N. If the early morning stories are too difficult, you should consider taking more late-night ones,” Nancy says coolly as the phone rings on her desk.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry,” Y/N groans, ignoring the comment about a schedule change.

Nancy pulls the phone to her ear and waves a dismissive hand at Y/N, who rolls her eyes before striding over to the elevator. She urgently presses the button for the seventh floor and slides in as soon as the doors open. The stale, damp smell of the office building elevator clings to her cold nose as she scans over the headlines of the stories in her hands: a section on local politics, sporting news from the weekend, and an advertisement for a hotel beneath them. Y/N exhales a puff of frustration as the elevator dings and opens onto her floor, where the loud chatter of typewriters fills the office.

She plops down into her wooden chair, placing the stack of papers on her desk before shimmying off her coat. Her job here is simple—look over the papers for errors, then pass the stories up to the publishing and printing department. Despite the simplicity of her work, she stays busy, tirelessly sifting through the news from one dull article to the next. Nothing ever really catches her eye or piques her interest. Y/N is considerably younger than most of her coworkers, except for Nancy, whom she keeps close. She wrapped up university quickly to jump-start her career, which she had imagined would be far more glamorous than this. Despite her disillusionment, she grabs a fountain pen from the cup of stationery on her desk and begins to review the stories carefully.

As the morning hours tick by, Y/N sifts through story after story, paper after paper, circling errors and drinking a generous amount of coffee. When the clock strikes noon and the church bell chimes from around the corner, she gathers her things for lunch and lugs her way downstairs to meet Nancy.

“Jesus,” Nancy chuckles dryly, wrapping a scarf around her neck and tugging on her gloves. “You look dead.”

Y/N groans in response, rubbing her eyes, her coat wrapped warmly around her.

“It’s been a relentless week… seriously,” Y/N mutters.

Nancy pulls her small purse onto her shoulder and links arms with Y/N as they step out of the building to grab lunch at their favorite café across the street. The bitter winter air stings their faces as cars whizz by, splashing slushy snow onto the wet pavement.

“You should tag along with me to the club tonight,” Nancy chirps as they cross the street.

“Are you kidding me? I’ll be knackered,” Y/N protests, still arm-in-arm with her friend.

“Oh, come on! It’s Friday, Y/N—live a little.” Nancy bumps her hip against Y/N’s, who rolls her eyes dramatically, letting her head fall back for added effect. Nancy chuckles.

“Fine, fine… but if I miss a story, it’ll be your head on the stake, not mine.”

The girls step into the warm, bustling café and slip into a cracked vinyl booth before continuing their lively chatter. Across the way, sipping steaming hot tea and sucking on cigarettes, sit two boys. One wears deep blue jeans and biker boots, while the other dons a pair of black slacks and saddle shoes. Both, however, wear thick, worn leather jackets over warm jumpers. They jabber loudly, smoke spilling from their smiling lips, curling around their booth in soft plumes.

Nancy notices them first and huffs. “Right, because the first thing you want to hear in a café is two teddies gobbin’ off,” she scoffs. “Give me a break.”

Her tone is loud and annoyed—no doubt meant for the boys to hear.

Y/N groans, covering her face with a menu. Since they met, Nancy has been known for her short temper and strong opinions. Y/N loves her for both of these things—one more than the other—but sometimes, it costs her sanity in public.

“Nancy… please,” Y/N warns through gritted teeth, giving her friend a pleading look.

Nancy ignores her, keeping her judgmental gaze fixed on the duo.

The boy in slacks turns his head toward them, meeting Nancy’s eyes for a split second before giving them both a once-over. He chuckles dryly, his eyes lingering lazily on Y/N a second longer before glancing back at his friend. He nudges him under the table and whispers something over his tea, making the other boy glance over as well. The one in jeans murmurs something back, and they both snicker. The sounds of other café patrons and kitchen clatter mask their quiet exchange.

Y/N can feel Nancy start to boil over, noticing her eyes haven’t moved an inch off the rowdy boys.

“Please, for my sake, do not—”

Before Y/N can finish her sentence, Nancy has already popped out of the booth and is storming over to the teddies.

Y/N groans and slides out after her.

“Oh-ho-ho! Here she comes!” the boy in slacks announces as Nancy furiously approaches. His auburn-brown hair matches his deep eyes, and a foxy grin spreads across his face. He holds up his hands in mock surrender, a cigarette pinched between two fingers of his right hand.

“Nobody in here wants to hear you two causing a racket,” Nancy announces, arms crossed in front of her chest, glaring down at the men with her famously unamused expression.

Y/N catches up behind her, eyebrows raised, her face pink with embarrassment. She shoots the boy in jeans a remorseful smile and pats Nancy on the shoulder, signaling it’s time to go.

“She doesn’t seem too bothered,” the boy in slacks says slyly, looking around Nancy to meet Y/N’s eyes. He flashes her a toothy grin.

“I’m John. Who—”

“No one gives a shit who you are. You lot are a bunch of bloody gobshites, anyway,” Nancy interrupts before turning on her heel, grabbing Y/N by the wrist, and dragging her toward the door.

“I’m Paul!” the other boy shouts in a pestering manner, followed by an eruption of laughter from both of them.

“Oh, piss off!” Nancy yells back before yanking Y/N outside, back into the cold streets of Liverpool.

[nottobegaybutmen]

I just handed it in it’s literally the worst piece of garbage I’ve ever written and I feel ill at the thought of anyone reading it but at least it’s anonymous and I’ll get some sleep still ok bye

At my desk straight up “writing it”. And by “it” haha well. Let just say. My essya

[thedvilsinthedetails]

Microfic for @wolfstarmicrofic written with the prompt ‘ardent’

Word count: 684

(split this in two halves, second half coming out tmrw)

EDIT: second half here

“Mm I’ve come to an important conclusion. I’m completely irresistible.”

Sirius proudly announced with a grin. They were all sat in the common room, Sirius leaning against James on the sofa. Remus was sat in the arm chair next to him, on his other side Lily, Mary and Peter were taking up the other sofa.

Peter and Lily looked at each other comically before turning and raising their eyebrows at him.

“Sorry yeah, I’m irresistible to everyone that experiences attraction to men.”

Mary laughed then.

“Sure you are.”

Sirius huffed out angrily.

“I am! I’ll prove it to you.”

“Oh please, been there done that. I’m just saying irresistible to everyone who feels attraction to men might be a stretch.”

Sirius whipped his head round to James.

“Tell her she’s wrong.”

“Of course she’s wrong, if I didn’t have an amazing and super hot boyfriend already I’d definitely be a Sirius Black groupie full time.”

“You basically already are.”

Remus chuckled, gesturing at the array of multicoloured hair bands James had around his wrist for Sirius to tie his hair up with at every given moment because Sirius never remembered to bring any. James was an ardent Sirius Black supporter.

That’s when Remus knew he’d made a mistake, the moment Sirius’ eyes landed on him they sparkled mischievously.

“Moony you’re perfect!”

“Huh?”

“I’ll prove it by getting you to kiss me. One month, if Moony hasn’t kissed me by the end of the month I’ll- I’ll cut my hair short! I bet you.”

Everyone gasped. Sirius’ hair was- well- it was Sirius’ hair. 

They were all a bit drunk, Remus had thought it would pass. He’d be fine. The urge to kiss Sirius senseless was something he’d learnt to control early. Remus. would. be. fine.

•••

Remus wasn’t fine. It hadn’t passed at all, in fact it seemed to grow every day. And Sirius was good at it, bloody good at it all. Remus was lanky and awkward, he didn’t flirt. Sirius did though, really fucking well. It had begun with small touches to his arm as Sirius let out little laughs and squinted smiles, hands lingering just a bit longer than it ought to, trailing down to his own hand before dropping away. 

Then it was Sirius wearing Remus’ jumper that was far too big for him, practically swallowing him up as he leaned forward, against Remus as they watched television. A little contented hum as he dropped his head onto Remus’ shoulder and nestled his head against his neck.

Then Sirius started getting bored of subtly.

•••

“Moooony.”

Sirius smiled lazily as Remus entered the dorm room, eyes twinkling.

He was dressed in a white tank top, far too tightly fitted for Remus’ sanity. His leather jacket was discarded next to him on the bed where he was sat cross legged in little faded black denim shorts. 

“Help me braid my hair, would you? It’s sooo hot today, for once in like the entirety of English history. I can’t have it against my neck.”

Remus nodded and Sirius flashed him another cheeky grin. They were both well aware it was only 20°C. Well aware Sirius could braid his own hair. Well aware that whenever he was hot he actually put it up in haphazard top knots, not braids. Still Remus walked towards Sirius, sitting himself down gingerly next to him. 

He gathered Sirius’ thick black hair at the nape of his neck, trying to ignore the jolt of electricity when his fingers brushed against warm ivory skin, trying to ignore the little sigh Sirius gave at the touch, trying to ignore how soft the glossy black hair was and how badly he wanted to just run his hands through it. He braided it quickly. It wasn’t very good, he knew. Remus was pretty shit at hairstyles honestly. It didn’t stop Sirius from biting his lip, gaze slipping to Remus’ lips as he thanked him. Leaning close and whispering so Remus could feel the warm breath against his face.

“Moony you’re just the best.”

As soon as he could, Remus fucking fled the room.

[iggyshippingcorner]

Another thought to chew on. In the same vein as Omega Robotnik passing himself off as a Beta… I think ALPHA Robotnik would also pass himself off as a Beta…

Which, that doesn’t make sense right? Aren’t Alphas top dog? But no. Where Omegas have the stereotype of being dainty and fragile and homemakers, Alphas have the stereotype of being meat-headed idiots who only think with their knots! And he’s not about to have anyone wright any of his inventions or achievements off as “stupid Alpha-brained nonsense” thank you very much!

Not to say being an Alpha doesn’t have some advantages though… he probably cooked up a special blocker variant that can be overpowered if needed, or he just keeps an “antidote” for it on him if he needs to bring out the big guns. (-)

anon i feel like you are drip feeding me abo content every time my mind wanders to something else. you’re an absolute powerhouse of stobotnik abo content!! im not complaining im so happy to receive every new ask— just wildly impressed :3

I could totally see Robotnik being all “i want every one of my technological victories to be in spite of everyone, even the alphas” about his work. In the alpha/alpha drabble I’m writing (and hopefully posting tonight or tmrw night!!) I’ve made him out to have a super tight control on his scent & behaviours & subvocals and all that jazz which contributes to him being a little… uncanny in comparison to other alphas. I think that lends itself really well to the idea of him passing as a Beta, because he’s not interested in all the performative alpha behaviours— he knows he’s better than the rest of them, he doesn’t need to puff out his chest and growl to prove it.

[listofwhyyouloveher]

I already know that heaven is a place

Summary: You are Johnny's girlfriend and he goes missing..

Warnings: death, mentions of murder, dying, not happy, im so sorry, please forgive, mentions of maybe getting over grief, also maybe cringy idk stop

Author's Note: heyy yalll, so sorry about this one, this one might burn a little. but it also might be really bad idk im so geeked please help. This fic is inspired by "Red, White and Blue" by Remy bond, tmrw will be "how to disappear" by Lana Del Rey for darrryryry

Everything around you felt like a spark of him. Something that tugged on the back of your brain and captured your breath greedily. The overwhelming sense of how much he left behind, and how unsatisfied you were. You stared at the little dip in the corner of your bed, a last reminisce of his being after he stayed at your house the night before he went missing. You slept on the floor, not willing to disrupt the mattress's condition. It felt like you were going crazy.

When day broke, the morning of the night he left, you adventured outside your house to find the lot taped up in yellow with cops crawling all over. You shivered, a sense of discomfort gripping your heart. Your feet quickened and you hurriedly walked to Johnny’s house. He told you he would meet you outside around this time so you sat by his curb.

Time passed and leaves rustled around you. Your heart sank further and further, and soon enough you got up to leave. Your head filled with promises that he was alright, but your mind clouded with worse-case-scenarios. Taking a different route than the one by the lot, you rushed to Dally’s place of the week.

You knocked hastily, fingers quivering in nervousness. A slightly hungover and dazed Dallas opened.

“Whaddya want?” He said, rough New York accent poking through.

“Where’s Johnny? Is he with you?” You asked, looking behind him into the empty room.

Dallas sighed, “I don’t know where he is.”

You bit your lip, “D-do you think something could’ve happened to him? When I was walking I saw a bunch of police around the lot, did he go to the lot?” You asked, eyes welling with tears. You watched as Dallas’s hand tightened on the doorknob when you mentioned the lot.

“It’s true! Oh, please don’t tell me he’s-” You cried but Dallas stopped you.

“Look, crazy. He ain’t dead.”

“W-what?” You asked, wiping your tears quickly.

“I can obviously tell you care about the kid, I’ll tell you what’s happening. Johnny and Pony got into a bad fight with a soc, they killed ‘em at the lot. Self defense, of course. So I loaded them up with a fat stack of cash, some supplies and sent ‘em somewhere they can hide out,” He shrugged, as if it was no big deal, but you could tell by his clenched jaw that he was nervous.

“Where?” You asked, slightly dumbfounded at how much could happen in one night.

“Won’t tell ya. But I will tell you, I’m going there soon. If you want, I can take a message,” He said, patting your shoulder. You opened your mouth to say something, but he cut you off.

“But not right now, I got some business to take care of. See ya, kid.” He said, sending you away.

Time passed and you saw life grow dull. There was just something amiss but always there. Like a scent that you loved but can’t quite name, or those fleeting memories that feel like seconds. You pressed forward, waiting for his return, hoping for it.

It came in the worst way possible. Johnny always had to be a hero. A quality you found yourself swooning and crying over. You grasped his damaged hand lightly, on your knees beside his hospital bed, ready to burst with tears.

“Oh, Johnny, why’d you do it,” You pressed your forehead to his arm, cheeks stained with tears.

Once you told Johnny that if he ever needed help, to just call you. He turned to you and said, “and what if it’s a soc, would’ya fight ‘em?” You smiled and told him, “yes, and if I had to, I would die for you.” You promised yourself and you promised him. So why weren’t you able to help him? Protect him?

“Please, Johnny..please, stay forever,” You cried.

The months that passed were a blur. Of colors that Johnny would wear, things that he called beautiful, his favorite activity to do with you. He was in the corner of everything, buried in deep parts of your world. He was there when you tied your shoes, and when you went to bed at night.

And people tell you, sometimes, when they think nobody can hear them, that Johnny flew too close to the sun. A small hint of a smile grows, a sad fond smile.

“But at least he flew.”