#i’m on my theon bullshit

[theredquill]

fics : of being reckless and young ( how damage gets done ) & we’re in love

[atopvisenyashill]

i think it’s insane that the bar here is “well jon wasn’t made into a practical slave like falia flowers” he shouldn’t have had to be kept in a cage and fed dog food or whatever the hell for the way he’s treated to have been unkind, unfair, and wrong.

[esther-dot]

Remember when some fans claim that Sansa was given Barbery Dustin story in show because of her icy nature and politically shrewd. They also pointed out that maybe Barbery will be leading North and fight against Boltons. So Sansa being Stark heir leading North against Boltons who wronged her family and ruling WF effectively is impossible. I want TWOW to put and Sansa to succeed just to see antis how will they accuse her of stealing other character story.

Hey! I’m a firm believer in QitN Barbrey, y’all are just haters. 😂

I love both versions of Sansa, and comparing show Sansa to a woman who plans to give Ned’s bones to her dogs is offensive to me as show Sansa dearly loved her father. Also, show Sansa wasn’t bitter even when she believed Jon betrayed her. She was heartbroken, but remained loyal to the family, to him, and thought of him as her king until the end. Barb’s hatred for Ned burns bright years later for what I would argue is a much smaller grievance. These are not remotely similar characters.

However, as someone who thinks D&D were using info from Martin, I understand the impulse to draw connections between book stuff and show stuff and think that it can be helpful in guessing where things are going. But, I did laugh that the people who latched onto this idea were the very same people who insist the show has nothing to do with the books, that all the plot points are wrong/that Sansa isn’t going North, so it makes no sense to then say, “it will be totally different because D&D read the books and gave Sansa the characterization of this minor character.”

As if D&D didn’t alter everyone’s characterization from the beginning.

And yet, I have to point out that in the books, Tyrion compares Sansa’s courtesy to the Wall, which is the tiniest bit icy, so I’m not sure why Sansa, once she is pushed into a political arena trying to guide people who don’t initially respect her, having a little coolness to her interactions was suddenly such a problem. 

In s6-8 she had plenty of soft moments, she is the one who showed the most open affection to the other Starks, and even in s8 when everything was off kilter, she still had moments of raw emotion that broke through the bullshit, so it isn’t the case that she truly had an icy nature, either. She was wearing her armor save when she felt safe enough not to do so (her reunion with Bran, a few moments with Arya, with Theon, several scenes with Jon…), so I don’t think the basic idea is as far removed from the book as people pretend. Obviously D&D reinterpreted her, but I think it’s weird that fans act like later seasons Sansa was more ooc than earlier seasons Sansa. They interpreted her differently all along but all along, I still saw traces of my girl.

I suppose since Barb mentioned her dogs and hates Ramsay, we could say that having Ramsay eaten by his own dogs is something that she might oversee rather than Sansa (who will not be married to him or raped by him), so maybe the idea was that it would be ooc for book Sansa to watch someone get eaten alive. And I guess this would be similar to how they had Arya do some Lady Stoneheart-y things, so, maybe there was a swticheroo there?

That specific scene aside, there’s a line about how every battle for Winterfell has had a Stark present, and I don’t think Martin dropped that in there for it to be retaken by someone other than a Stark. I mean, Barb does hate Ramsay in addition to hating Ned, so I guess she can betray the Boltons and decide she wants to be QitN instead of letting them have all the fun (I’m not remembering anything specific pointing in that direction, just entertaining the notion), but I don’t see how that is a substitute for Starks reclaiming Winterfell or Starks ruling the North again. It could happen as a stepping stone, but it’s not interchangeable and wouldn’t impact the endgame of a Stark being in Winterfell. To pretend that Sansa’s role as a Stark in the North was a total show fabrication is odd.

I don’t have any specific ideas of how we’re gonna match up the timelines and have the necessary forces to retake Winterfell, but it’s interesting to me that as much as Barb has a problem with Ramsay, she dislikes Ned too, and combining that with the impending Stark succession crisis is a really fun thing to do because of what it could mean for her interactions with the Stark kids, lots of anger and resentment, as they potentially work together to defeat a common foe regardless. That’s a path too.

Whether Sansa is the key to reclaiming Winterfell by bringing the KotV (which I believe was the plan at one point), or she arrives later because of timeline issues, I’m confused why people would think that Stark kids popping up in the North won’t impact the politics more than these minor characters? Wont the supporting cast be how Martin fleshes out the rival claims, as the Starks won’t be at each other’s throats out of any power craze of their own? And we need those characters to make the revelation of Jon’s daddy to be a huge political issue, as the Starks aren’t gonna disown him, but we need someone to raise hell. It seems to me that the Starks and the power players in the North have distinct roles and that the interplay there will matter.

I’m not sure why even other Sansa fans are so adamantly apposed to her ending up in the North. That isn’t actually an anti position, that’s common even among her fans, but I truly thought her “If I am ever a queen, I'll make them love me.” line felt like a very direct compare and contrast moment between her and Cersei which we would get to see manifest when she came into a position of political power at some point, and seeing as she is the oldest living true born Stark, I think that position would be in the North as LoW or QitN. I don’t think that’s a stretch at all, especially now that we know Bran will be king elsewhere.

Anyway, Barbie is my queen forever and ever amen!

[themockingpoint]

Hope

Sansa had been the Queen in the North for years now. But she wasn’t happy. Between the War of the Five Kings and the Long Night there were so many fires that Sansa was being forced to put out that it has been literal years and she is still putting them out.

Sansa was alone and would probably be the last of the Stark bloodline. She could never marry again. Not after Ramsay, and Joffrey and… Theon… She would never be able to trust someone like that. She would never fully be able to give herself to another.

“My la… Your Grace.” Halis Mollen said, knowing her since she was a little girl the transition between Lady and Queen was not the easiest for the Captain of the Guard.

“Yes, Hallis?”

“There is a woman here that needs to speak to you. She said it is extremely important.”

“Did she say what it was about?” Sansa asked, curiously. Not many women would demand to speak with a queen and Halis knew Arya so that ruled her out

“No but she said it was important.” Halis said and his nose wrinkled slightly. “I think she is a wildling.”

Despite how much they did side by side, the Northerners still were… wary of the Free Folk and that was a more generous interpretation of the word.

But if it were a wildling there is a chance that it could be a message from Jon! Sansa picked up her skirts and rushed to her solar only to find… not Jon. There was a blonde woman that Sansa had never seen before who was singing, but was interrupted by Sansa slamming the door open.

“J- oh. Hello.” Sansa said, quickly able to smother her disappointment. Something that did not exactly go unnoticed.

“You don’t have to pretend. I know I’m not Snow.” The blonde snarked. “I am Val.”

“Hello Val.” Sansa said, her bluntness reminding Sansa of Arya. “Welcome to Winterfell.”

“I… gonna cut through any bullshit.” Val said, “Snow… He…”

Sansa's world went blurry and she stumbled only being caught by Val stopped her from hitting the ground. The woman, seemingly a warrior, easily maneuvered her to one of her chairs.

Jon was her last real connection to her family. Now he is gone. All of her family was gone. Bran… well that was not Bran anymore, he has made that perfectly clear. Arya has not been heard from since she set sail and Jon… Jon has gone north of the wall yet to be heard from since he was sentenced there. She always planned on bringing him back once she was fully established in the North, but now she’d never get that chance.

“H- How?” Sansa croaked.

“Those… Unfettered?” Val said. “They were still pissed and were looking for him. They weren’t treating those who they thought were harboring him with kid gloves. They found us and he decided to hold them off so we could escape.”

“Tormund?” Sansa asked. She doubted the rowdy man would leave Jon to his fate nor could not be here if that were the case.

“He went with them.”

Sansa now knew that she was the last of her house. It was a lonely feeling. She wondered if this was how her father felt after the Rebellion. She was drawn for her wallowing as a chirping noise came from beside her desk.

“Is that…”

“Yes.” Val said, walking over and picking up a bundle of blankets. Sansa’s eyes widened looking at the little girl.

“C- Can I hold her?” Sansa asked, and Val handed her over.

“I know Snow would have wanted her to grow up here.” Val said, leaning on Sansa’s desk. “And if it is not as I have anything left up there.”

Sansa ignored her though, staring down at the little girl in her arms. She had her mother’s blonde hair and Sansa’s father’s eye. Her brother’s eyes. She… Sansa had family.

“What’s her name?”

“Hope.” Val said.

“Hello. Welcome to Winterfell.” Sansa said, smiling while bouncing her new ward in her arms. “Hope Stark.”

[istumpysk]

Operation Stumpy Re-Read

AGOT: Bran VI (Chapter 53)

Lord Rickard himself led them, his sons Harrion and Eddard and Torrhen riding beside him beneath night-black banners emblazoned with the white sunburst of their House. Old Nan said they had Stark blood in them, going back hundreds of years, but they did not look like Starks to Bran. They were big men, and fierce, faces covered with thick beards, hair worn loose past the shoulders. Their cloaks were made of skins, the pelts of bear and seal and wolf.    

Must be the male line, because Alys Karstark is described as looking similar to Arya.

Starks are smol beans, confirmed.

+.+

Only two days ago one of Lord Bolton's men knifed one of Lord Cerwyn's at the Smoking Log.

Oh look, a Bolton man knifing an ally.

+.+

"Don't act the boy with me, Bran," Robb said.

(...)

He was using the voice of Robb the Lord when he said it; Bran knew that meant there was no appeal.    

The dichotomy between man and boy is a persistent theme with all male Starklings.

+.+

"Twelve thousand men, or near enough as makes no matter."

(...)

"He must march soon, or not at all," Maester Luwin said. "The winter town is full to bursting, and this army of his will eat the countryside clean if it camps here much longer.

Tell me again how on top of all their own people, Winterfell will host three dragons, eight thousand Unsullied, and every man from every khalasar during winter.

Almost like that was bullshit.

+.+

The only tricky part was doors. Sometimes Hodor forgot that he had Bran on his back, and that could be painful when he went through a door.     

I know what this is referring to, but I’m not sure how.

+.+

His baby brother had been wild as a winter storm since he learned Robb was riding off to war, weeping and angry by turns. He'd refused to eat, cried and screamed for most of a night, even punched Old Nan when she tried to sing him to sleep, and the next day he'd vanished. Robb had set half the castle searching for him, and when at last they'd found him down in the crypts, Rickon had slashed at them with a rusted iron sword he'd snatched from a dead king's hand, and Shaggydog had come slavering out of the darkness like a green-eyed demon. The wolf was near as wild as Rickon; he'd bitten Gage on the arm and torn a chunk of flesh from Mikken's thigh. It had taken Robb himself and Grey Wind to bring him to bay. Farlen had the black wolf chained up in the kennels now, and Rickon cried all the more for being without him.    

Noo the baby. :(

But also, clues?? Rickon vanished, half the castle searching for him, and when they found him he was in the... crypts? No, I don’t like that.

BUT he’s also fighting with a king’s sword, aided by his demon direwolf?

Man, I don’t know! I’m going to ask the audience.

+.+

Stout, grey-haired Maege Mormont, dressed in mail like a man, told Robb bluntly that he was young enough to be her grandson, and had no business giving her commands … but as it happened, she had a granddaughter she would be willing to have him marry.

x

Lord Cerwyn means to take his daughter south with us. To cook for him, he says. Theon is certain I'll find the girl in my bedroll one night.

Want to know how I know something was terribly off about Jon and Sansa’s storyline on the show? While attempting to secure allies for two separate wars, at no point did anyone petition for marriage.

+.+

"She says Father conspired at treason with the king's brothers," he read. "King Robert is dead, and Mother and I are summoned to the Red Keep to swear fealty to Joffrey. She says we must be loyal, and when she marries Joffrey she will plead with him to spare our lord father's life." His fingers closed into a fist, crushing Sansa's letter between them. "And she says nothing of Arya, nothing, not so much as a word. Damn her! What's wrong with the girl?"                 

Bran felt all cold inside. "She lost her wolf," he said, weakly, remembering the day when four of his father's guardsmen had returned from the south with Lady's bones. Summer and Grey Wind and Shaggydog had begun to howl before they crossed the drawbridge, in voices drawn and desolate. Beneath the shadow of the First Keep was an ancient lichyard, its headstones spotted with pale lichen, where the old Kings of Winter had laid their faithful servants. It was there they buried Lady, while her brothers stalked between the graves like restless shadows.

Robb, you’re a bright young man, surely you could figure out if your father is imprisoned, your sister is not the one composing these letters. Not your best moment.

She lost her wolf. :(

+.+

She had gone south, and only her bones had returned.

People loved to use this as a predictor for Sansa’s future. How could they not see it’s screaming Lyanna?

+.+

A faint wind sighed through the godswood and the red leaves stirred and whispered. Summer bared his teeth. "You hear them, boy?" a voice asked.    

(...)

"No, stay," Bran commanded her. "Tell me what you meant, about hearing the gods."                 

Osha studied him. "You asked them and they're answering. Open your ears, listen, you'll hear."

Is it the Old Gods or is it something else?

Brandon the Builder sought the aid of the children while raising the Wall. He was taken to a secret place to meet with them, but could not at first understand their speech, which was described as sounding like the song of stones in a brook, or the wind through leaves, or the rain upon the water. - TWoIaF

+.+

Maester Luwin sighed. "I can teach you history, healing, herblore. I can teach you the speech of ravens, and how to build a castle, and the way a sailor steers his ship by the stars. I can teach you to measure the days and mark the seasons, and at the Citadel in Oldtown they can teach you a thousand things more. But, Bran, no man can teach you magic."    

Wait a minute. WAIT A MINUTE. I think he did it again!

I can teach you the speech of ravens -> Bran

How to build a castle -> Jon

The way a sailor steers his ship by the stars -> Arya

No Sansa or Rickon, but have no fear, Maester Luwin is unable to teach Bran how to be a Queen or High Septon. Like the Maiden & Warrior, sometimes a kid or two is missing.

JON THE BUILDER. 🤩

+.+

Beyond the castle walls, a roar of sound went up. The foot soldiers and townsfolk were cheering Robb as he rode past, Bran knew; cheering for Lord Stark, for the Lord of Winterfell on his great stallion, with his cloak streaming and Grey Wind racing beside him. They would never cheer for him that way, he realized with a dull ache. He might be the lord in Winterfell while his brother and father were gone, but he was still Bran the Broken. He could not even get off his own horse, except to fall.    

How could you possibly read his point of view, and passages like the one above, and come away with the opinion that two Targaryens and a pretend one are the key to saving the world? This fandom is tragic.

+.+

"Hodor?" he said sadly.                 

"Hodor," Bran agreed, wondering what it meant.

Final thoughts:

On a re-read it’s almost laughable how obvious it is Robb is marching to his death.

-> return to menu <-

[owlsinathens]

✍, 🛒, 💌, 🧐, 🤲, 🎉

✍ Do I have a beta? On and off. For some time now, the wonderful and talented @st-clements-steps has agreed to look over my fics and ficlets, but I would say she's more my Alpha reader than a beta and I am forever grateful for all her help 🥰🥰🥰

🛒 Some common things/themes/feels etc I like to have in my fics.... hm, difficult one. I always think the readers are probably better to answer this questions than myself. Plus, I only have the one pairing I'm fixated on, so there's a finite number of fics I could write without repeating themes etc, and that point has long passed 😅 I can say though, I'll never get tired of throwing in some sort of Jon is Theon's saltwife stuff.

💌 How do I feel about comments and feedback? Love. Like, LOVE. It's my salt and bread. A huge motivation to keep me going/writing. I live to entertain, so someone telling me they liked my stuff or it made them laugh/cry/etc makes my heart soar. I get that commenting can be hard, and taking a lot of energy. I used to be bad at commenting myself (it's still HARD). But getting feedback on a labour of love is just. so. amazing. I do welcome all kinds of comments, chatty ones, rambly ones, one liners, all of them. Of course I am over the moon when I get a long comment that *engages with the story* (that is straight up ambrosia to me) but just knowing that someone took time to write ANYTHING will always fill me with joy.

🧐 Do I spend much time on research for my stuff? Depends on the story. Like for the pub AU, almost no research because I've been to the places described, have read the books mentioned, and I've had many cats lol. So that one was born mostly from experience. Another example, the vamp AU, was mostly me bullshitting until it became a story. Stories set in a canon universe require more research (gotta love the wiki of ice and fire ♥️). And then there's the behemoth of a Victorian AU that'll be my next 'modern' AU and I've been researching for months and still very much at the beginning 🙈

🤲 A snippet from a WIP - I'm choosing 1x1 (hey @november-rising you may remember this - key word "No" 😘)

“You wanted a decision,” Theon mutters, still not daring to look at Jon’s face. “I came here to ask the same of you.”

“I – what?” Jon leans back in his chair. “I thought I made myself clear. I’m willing to go all the way, but only if you – what are you doing?”

“You can’t decide. I won’t accept it.” Theon bites down on the inside of his cheek as the first glove hits the floor with a dull thud. “Not without you knowing everything. Not without you really seeing for yourself what you’re so eager to take.”

🎉 I consider my fic a success when... yeah, when? It's different for each fic, depending on the context, and my own expectations. I have considered fics a success that had few but very meaningful comments. I have considered fics a failure despite 'good' stats. I'm working on considering a fic a success simply because it exists.

Thank you so much for the ask (and the ask about the ask 🥲) and the many emojis! ♥️♥️♥️

[littlerockerao3]

103 please 💙

I finally did it anon, I hope you like it!

Also, sorry if the ending kinda sucks I just god sad all of sudden and… yeah.

Btw, this is basically a compilation of Theon stealing Robb’s stuff

103. “Sharing is caring, now give me your fries”

Tw: mentions of sex and they’re naked at some point. Then it’s all just fluff.

~~~

Robb’s so used to staying the night at Theon’s sometimes he gets confused when he wakes up alone at his own place. Today though, it’s not one of those mornings.

It’s late in the morning and he’s cooking eggs, in his boyfriend kitchen, when Theon comes join him.

“Is that my hoodie?” Robb asks. The white hoodie with a small wolf print on the left shoulder is the first things he sees after Theon’s messy hair.

Theon yawns loudly and shrugs, “I don’t know, could be. Let me check…” he stretches his arms above his head and the hoodie goes up and exposes his bare belly. Theon nods at that, “Definitely”.

That’s the thing when Theon steals Robb’s clothes, they always look too loose around his shoulders yet they’re too short to fully cover his belly when he’s stretching. Robb kind of loves how that makes him look younger than his age. It also makes his features look softer, and when his hair is all messy like that... god, all Robb wants is to cuddle with him on the couch all day long.

“You thief” he says instead, sticking his tongue out at him.

Theon just rolls his eyes, slips his hands inside the hoodie’s front pockets and presses a kiss to the corner of Robb’s lip, “It just smells so much like you, I love it”.

Robb snorts, amused. “Babe. You wear my clothes more than I do, they basically smell like you by now”.

He’s not wrong, and Robb knows Theon knows. Robb’s closet at his apartment is almost empty, by now, it’s all in Theon’s closet and drawers. Sometimes he wonders how come he hasn’t moved in with him already.

“Hey, sharing is caring” Theon replies, taking one hand out of his pockets to pinch Robb’s side. Robb swats that hand away and rolls his eyes, “It is, it is.”

“You made breakfast?”

“Will be ready in five, can you set the table?”

Robb checks on the eggs, and when he turns back around to stare at Theon, he’s caught up in a proper kiss. It doesn’t last as long as he expected nor as they both wanted, but they know there’s going to be time for it later. It’s Sunday, after all.

“Sure gorgeous” Theon caresses his cheek, then moves to grab the plates from the cupboard and all they need. Robb’s hoodie goes up one more time, and it’s leaving Theon’s lower back exposed. Robb smirks, stare at those cute little dimples right above Theon’s glutes, and thinks that that hoodie is going to come off in a little.

*

Theon parts from Robb’s lips after the umpteenth overly dramatic howl coming from downstairs, “Why the hell is he howling like that?!”

Robb snorts, rests his head on the pillow, his breath struggling to go back to normal. He looks up at Theon, who’s still over him, hands still resting on Robb’s bare and sweaty chest.

“I think I forgot to fill up his water bowl” he says, his voice muffled by another ark and dramatic howl. Theon rolls his eyes, “Jeez, that’s a husky not a wolf”.

That could be: Robb found Grey Wind and his siblings in some alley, he just knows his mom was a wolf. His dad could have been a husky, cause Grey Wind is by far the most dramatic animal Robb has ever had to deal with.

Theon jumps out the bed, Robb already misses his warmth, and walks towards the door.

“Hey, don’t walk naked past him” Robb says, fixing the pillow under his head and running a had through his sweaty hair.

Theon huffs loudly, “God, he walks naked past me everyday Robb”, he says, yet still turns around and opens the nightstand’s drawer and grabs a pair of underwear.

“Hey that’s my underwear” Robb realizes.

“It’s the first pair I found” Theon rolls his eyes, as he puts the red underwear Robb’s mother got for him a few months ago, along with tons of more stuff, when Robb finally got his own place.

“It’s still mine” he mumbles.

Theon sighs, hands resting on his hips, eyes frowning in his typical “don’t start” stare. “For fuck’s sake Robb, it’s your house don’t you remember? Of course it’s your stuff.”

Robb shrugs, thinking about how actually his own place is filled with Theon’s stuff, and how Theon’s place is filled with Robb’s stuff.

“But there’s plenty of your stuff too here” he says, in fact.

That causes Theon’s upper lip to curl up lightly: Robb’s noticed how much he likes when somebody points out things like this. He just loves to know his stuff is at Robb’s place and Robb’s stuff is at his place, Robb guesses. That’s fair. Robb likes it too, though he doesn’t show it so much: it’s not like he wears Theon’s clothes everyday, unlike Theon does with his clothes, instead.

Theon puts one knee on the bed and arches forward to kiss Robb’s still puffy lips “Just grab one of mine so we’re even. And sharing is caring, by the way.”

He’s about to kiss him one more time, suggesting a round two would be very much appreciated, but Grey Wind starts barking and howling again.

Theon grunts almost as loudly at the dogs, only to yell right after, “I’m coming you dipshit, calm down!”

“Hey! Do not call our child that!”

“Fuck you”

One of Robb’s eyebrows rises as he stares at his boyfriend making his way downstairs to finally give his dog some water. Jeez, Theon looks good in Robb’s underwear.

*

Theon is still buckling his belt as he walks out the bathroom and past the corridor to approach Robb, who’s waiting at the door, “Hey I’m ready, we can go”.

Robb studies his boyfriend for a few seconds, before asking, “You don’t have a bag or what?”

They’re going to spend the night at Robb’s, cause Grey Wind is staying at Sansa’s (she talked about some dog resort and apparently she wants to take Lady there but wants to bring Grey Wind along “just in case Lady won’t make any friends”, and then they say Robb’s the dog mom) and it would be very nice to have sex in Robb’s bed for once, without Grey Wind scratching the door and barking, disappointed for being left out.

Theon just shrugs carelessly, “Nah I’ll just steal your clothes”.

Typical. Robb should have expected that. He rolls his eyes, ad wraps an arm around him, whispering, “The thing is, sweet boyfriend of mine, that all my stuff is at your place, cause in case you haven’t noticed, you keep stealing it.” He kisses his forehead, “There’s literally no more clothes at my place”.

He can see Theon struggling to hide a smirk, as a cute shade of red starts blushing his cheeks as he looks away and mumbles, “I don’t steal your clothes that often”.

Robb’s eyebrow jerks up in front of the biggest bullshit he’s ever heard, “You do”.

“No I don’t”

“You don’t?” Robb pulls the corner of Theon’s shirt, “You’re wearing my hockey jersey. There’s my name in the back, since when your last name is Stark huh?”

Theon’s cheeks are bright red now. It takes him the hardest effort to go back looking into Robb’s eyes and say, softly “Hey, sharing is caring”.

The sound that comes out of Robb’s mouth is more of a snort rather than a laugh, but he can’t keep the smile off his face, “You keep using that as an excuse”.

“Because it’s true!” Theon’s hands gently cup Robb’s neck, thumbs caressing his jaw.

Robb pulls him closer and tilts his head on one side, “It still doesn’t give you the right to steal all my clothes! Literally, my house is empty”.

He doesn’t mind, really. He doesn’t mind. If it was up to him, Theon would have moved in at his place already. If it was up to him, Theon’s last name would have been Stark ages ago, by now. He likes it when Theon wears his clothes, when he uses his stuff, when he acts like Robb’s stuff is his stuff cause that’s actually how it really is, after all. But he likes it even more when Theon blushes when someone points it out.

“I don’t see what’s the problem, we can just stay here, order Chinese and watch a movie” Theon suggests. Robb just stays silent, but keeps his eyes curiously staring at Theon’s, just to make him blush some more.

“Come on babe!” Theon exclaims, then he just jumps into Robb’s arms so suddenly that Robb can barely wrap his arms around his thigh to keep them both from falling.

“I hate you so much” he mumbles, giving in, as Theon smooches his face with kisses.

“So do I baby” he whispers to his ear, as Robb leads them both towards the couch.

*

When Theon opens the door for Robb to get inside he’s shirtless, his face is green and his hair is wrapped in a towel. Robb frowns, recognising the familiar smell.

“Is that my beauty face mask?” He asks.

Theon starts walking to the living room, “Yeah? Before you say anything: you left it here at my place for days, I’m allowed to use it”.

Robb waves his hand distractedly: he hasn’t seen Theon for three days, fuck work and fuck how tiring it is, and he doesn’t have the patience he usually has to tease him. He needs to kiss those lips a little, first.

“Wash it off, I need to kiss you” he says.

“Needy” Theon is smirking as he’s walking to the bathroom. Robb would like to take him seriously but it’s impossible when he looks like that. Actually, it’s impossible to take Theon seriously when he’s smirking. Actually, it’s impossible to listen to whatever Theon’s saying when he’s smirking cause you just can’t keep your eyes and focus anywhere but on those lips.

He comes back a few moments later, face all clean now and hair still a little wet but naturally wavy and naturally sexy. Robb engulfs him in a hug so tight he fear he could break some of his bones, he looses his grip just so that he can start kissing his mouth repeatedly before they eventually share one long proper kiss. They’re both smiling into the kiss cause they both know they’re thinking the same thing, that is: sometimes they still act like teenagers who just got together and that’s fine cause it’s funny as hell.

“Are you ready?” Robb asks Theon at some point.

Theon nods, patting his shoulder, and moving away from him to run to his bedroom, “Yeah, I just gotta put on a shirt. I think I’ll use one of yours”.

“I’m not even going to pretend to act surprised”

“Hey, sh-“

“Sharing is caring, I know I know.”

Theon comes out his room wearing Robb’s dark blue hoodie, the only oversized hoodie Robb owns (or used to own) that doesn’t expose Theon’s lower back and belly if he stretches out or leans over.

“N’aww, you’re learning” Theon says, squeezing Robb’s cheeks with his thumb and index finger.

“Let’s go.” Robb says, gently pulling Theon’s hand away from his face.

He’s driving today, so Theon takes control over the aux cord and spends all their small trip playing nostalgia songs. Robb’s new place has yet to be fully furnished, so they’re going shopping to get some knick-knacks, tablecloths, even some small plants, so the mess won’t be too huge when Grey Wind will knock them over.

When they get inside the car again, still having to decide which shop they should stop at next, Robb hears Theon’s stomach growling.

“You hungry?”

Theon keeps scrolling through his phone, searching for a new song to play, “Just a little. I could fancy a snack though.”

Robb doesn’t need to be told twice and turns to the nearest fast food on the way. Theon’s too busy figuring out which songs he wants in his new Spotify playlist to notice where they’re headed, until Robb eventually asks him what he would like to eat.

Theon looks around and his eyes lit up the moment he realizes they’re in line at the drive thru, “Aw babe, you shouldn’t have”.

“What do you want?” Robb repeats, smiling at him.

Theon waves his hand, “Just some French fries”.

They stay silent for a few minutes before they get to take their order and they’re asked if they want small, medium or large fries.

“Large” both Robb and Theon say at the same time, Robb says it out of instinct and it causes Theon to extend his hand to squeeze his cheeks one more time, “Aw you know me so well!”

Then, Theon reaches for his wallet in his pocket, “Here, I just-”

“I got it” Robb hands the cashier his card before Theon can even do anything. He hands him his fries and gets a kiss on the cheek in return, “I really don’t deserve you”.

Robb tries to ignore how his cheeks are feeling warmer, so he lightly shakes his head and says, “It’s just some fries”.

“You noticed I was hungry and you got me food. You’re adorable.”

Theon silently eats his fries. Robb stops the car near some park so they can go take a walk in the meantime. Theon is humming the song they just heard in the car, it was one hell of a catchy song and Robb would probably have it stuck in his head too, if he hadn’t just realised that maybe, just maybe, he’s hungry too.

“What?” Theon asks him the moment he catches him staring at him eating.

“Can I have one?” Robb asks.

Theon frowns and immediately shakes his head, “No way, get your own!”

That reply is so unexpected it causes Robb to chuckle against his will, “Excuse me?! I literally paid for them!”

“You could have got your own!”

Robb folds his arms against his chest, “Well sharing is caring, now give me your fries.”

Now Theon is laughing too, he grabs one of the fries and feeds it to Robb.

“God I seriously should have got my own too” he mumbles, and Theon hands him the packet of fries afterwards, “I guess we can share”.

“Thanks babe” Robb smiles, extends his hand to grab the pack and notices the small silver thing around Theon’s wrist.

He frowns, “Hey, is this my bracelet?”.

“You left it at my place” once the pack is in Robb’s hands, Theon hides his own inside the pocket of his hoodie.

Robb’s eyebrows are both raised in confusion and amusement now, “And you thought wearing it was better than returning it?”

“I like to wear your things, okay?!” Theon’s a blushing mess. He’s smiling, tho.

“Oh believe me I noticed”

Theon just shrugs, “It makes me feel closer to you” he confesses, avoiding any kind of eye contact.

Robb grabs him by the arm and forces him to look into his eyes, instead.

“Even when I’m right here?” He asks, smiling wickedly at him cause god, how he loves to see him blush like that.

Theon chuckles nervously, then moves to caress Robb’s cheek, “Yeah especially when you’re right here.”

Robb doesn’t get it, but doesn’t say so. He just wait for Theon to understand it on his own and eventually explain himself. It takes him a few minutes and one deep breath, but in the end he says, “Sometimes I wonder how the hell is possible that you’re with me and it helps me, cause then I’m just “of course he’s with me, I’m wearing his briefs””.

That confession is lovely, though Robb doesn’t like how insecure Theon still seems to be. “Insecure” and “Theon” aren’t exactly words that look good if put next to each other, but sometimes it’s just this way: when it comes to their relationship, Theon gets insecure at times. Insecure of himself, like he doesn’t deserve Robb. Robb will never get tired of telling him he’s all he wants and he could never replace him, but sometimes he just wishes Theon would understand it.

“We’ve been together for years by now, hon” he tells him gently.

Theon just shakes his head, “Doesn’t change a thing. I’ll never get used to how amazing you are”

He leans forward to kiss Robb’s lips. They should be having a serious conversation right now, but Robb fears it’d ruin the mood. They can talk about it tonight as they’re lying in bed, that’s usually the moment when they share their deepest conversations. Right now, he just smiles at him as he pulls away, and says, “If sharing is caring does it mean I can wear that beautiful white shi-“

“Absolutely not”

Yeah he should have expected that. Still, “But-“

“Your big ass shoulders would rip it” Theon shakes his head firmly and pats both Robb’s shoulders with his hands, as if to prove his point.

Robb pouts, “You love my big ass shoulders”.

“I sure do, but I love my expensive shirts too”.

“Then can I wear your purple hoodie? The one with the squid?”

Theon’s eyes lit up. It looks like a bulb just turned on above his head, like Robb just gave him the best idea ever.

“Now that would look good on you.” He says, “You know what else would? My cream jumper. God you’d be so adorable with that on. We need to go back to my place so you can try on all my clothes. Come on, let’s go.”

Robb lets him grab his hand as they basically run to the car. When they get home, Theon literally makes him wear all his clothes (expensive shirts excluded, of course). They all smell like Theon. Robb gets why Theon likes to wear his clothes so much, this actually does make him feel closer to him.

Though he notices that night, that the sheets smell like both of them, instead. He doesn’t know how come he never noticed this, but it’s the best smell in the world. Theon is sleeping in Robb’s pyjamas, Robb is sleeping in Theon’s. It all just feels so good.

[weirwoodking]

hi i was wondering if you would be interested in making a meta on the differences between show!sansa and book!sansa bc i know they changed a lot of her storyline but i don't understand why everyone hates on sophie turner? it can be short or inexistent meta if you're not up to it but i would be very interested to know what you have to say

I mean, the differences between the two are pretty simple. After season 4, D&D decided to cut Sansa’s book storyline, and replaced it with their own rewrite. This affected the plots of multiple characters, particularly Show!Theon’s and Show!Jon’s, but most of all, Show!Sansa’s, obviously. George himself has spoken on how much he hated what the show did with Sansa. He said in 2014 that he had “no idea what they were doing with Sansa or where they’re taking her storyline.”

I could go episode by episode and point out everything that’s wrong or is out of character, but it’s kind of useless. The show did not adapt books 4 & 5, it’s as simple as that, everything is different and feels like it’s out of character. For the first 4 seasons, I thought that Sansa’s story was handled fine (I haven’t watched GOT seasons 1-4 in over 4 years, so my memory is a bit foggy on the specifics tho). Sophie Turner isn’t exactly how I picture Sansa to look, but her acting was fantastic, especially for someone so young and for her first television role.

I personally haven’t seen people “hating on Sophie Turner”, but I’m not involved in the GOT side of tumblr, only the ASOIAF side, so I don’t see people talk about the actors that much. I do know that there are people in fandom (not just in the GOT fandom but in fandom in general) who will conflate actors with their characters. I have seen some toxic Show!Sansa stans do this with Show!Dany and Emilia Clarke (mostly last year). It seems to be more of a problem with female characters and actresses (‘cause sexism), and I think it’s really creepy and disturbing. Sophie Turner is not Sansa, so if anyone is “hating on her” because they didn’t like how the show changed Sansa’s story, that’s really fucked up. I don’t know much about the GOT cast, actually, I rarely watched interviews or behind-the-scenes videos. I don’t know if Sophie Turner has said that she likes the show’s ending or something like that, so if that was the case I could see people being critical of her opinion. But even if she did like the ending of the show and the way the writers changed her character after season 4, I still don’t think you should hate on an actor for that. Because the actors didn’t make the show, the showrunners did. It’s not on the actors to get everything right about their characters, it’s on the writers and directors to tell them the story and guide them through their acting. I don’t blame the actors for anything about GOT (no one should), I blame the writers.

What I find is the biggest problem about post-season 4 Sansa is how little regard they had for her character, while simultaneously claiming she was their favorite. I believe their exact quote was “Sansa was the character we cared about more than anyone”. Okay… then why did you cut her storyline? I feel like their whole “she’s our favorite character” act was more to try to defend against the criticism of the cutting of her storyline. What bothers me most is how they just casually threw her into the Ramsay plotline without thinking at all about what that meant. If you’re going to have one of the main characters of the show get serially raped, you need to think about what you’re doing and how to handle that horrific situation. In the books, the Jeyne Poole storyline is handled very carefully. The acts committed by Ramsay against Jeyne and Theon are never really shown, only implied, alluded to, or very briefly described. The show, on the other hand, explicitly showed Theon’s torture scenes, and made Ramsay a much bigger character in seasons 5 & 6 than he is in the books. I feel like they just used him for shock value, because so much of Game of Thrones revolved around shock value and in-the-moment reactions. I think they just saw Ramsay as a character they could turn into Joffrey 2.0, which is why they put Sansa with him. They didn’t care to follow Sansa’s book arc, they just wanted to continue the whole “caged-bird” thing with her, for shock value.

And to deflect against criticism, that’s why they made her so smart and powerful in the final few seasons. There’s next-to-no build up, no character development, no focus on her growth, the show just tells us that Sansa is the smartest character, and the audience is expected to agree. Because D&D did not care about showing her development. There’s a line in season 7, when Sansa and Arya kill Littlefinger, where Sansa says “thank you for all of your lessons, Lord Baelish.” And that immediately stuck out to me, because that sounds like something Book!Sansa would say. The show cut out Sansa’s Vale storyline, where she spends much more time with Littlefinger, and so… what “lessons” is Show!Sansa referring to here? They didn’t spend a lot of time together in the show. I do think that Sansa will defeat Littlefinger in the books, so that line makes sense for Book!Sansa.

What they did was cut Sansa’s storyline, throw her into a horrific situation that they used for shock value, and then expected to be praised when they made her a “girlboss” later on. They basically said “hey, we know we essentially erased this character’s arc and development, but at least we did a feminism, right?” And that’s what really pisses me off. The blatant disregard for female characters, then saying “no, we do care about them! Believe us!”

Lindsay Ellis has a really good video called “Woke Disney” that touches on this. Basically, she talks about how Disney’s recent live action remakes tend to make each of the princesses a “#girlboss” in a very corporate, fake-feminist manner that is very easy to see right through. (I recommend just watching the video, she goes more in-depth into the subject.)

A similar thing occurred with GOT (the show only had one female writer after season 4, by the way, who was a staff writer for season 8. And before that, only 4 episodes were written by a woman). D&D wrote a lot of problematic, misogynistic, homophobic, and racist things. Then they tried to cover that up with (to use a line from Ms. Ellis) a coat of #girlboss paint. For example, I remember after s8e3 (when Arya killed the Night King) came out, that was when the big criticism for season 8 really started. People saw how bad the writing of that episode was, and how ridiculous and anti-climactic it all felt. However, when people criticized the manner in which the Night King was killed (i.e. saying that it would have made more narrative sense for Jon to do it instead of Arya), there was another group of people who called that criticism sexist. “That’s sexist! You’re just upset that a girl did it instead of a guy!” Which… ugh... do I need to explain how idiotic that line of reasoning is?

And that’s kind of how the HBO show tried to get away with its misogyny, not just the misogyny of Dany’s ending, but of the whole show in general. “Look, we can’t be misogynistic, we had Arya kill the Night King! Look, we can’t be misogynistic, we had Sansa become a #girlboss!” Bullshit, you’re just trying to hide your sexism and bad writing behind a facade of fake feminism.

… *sigh* ...

Anyway, nothing but love for Book!Sansa, and nothing but hate for the writers of Game of Thrones. I hate how the show turned Sansa into a very polarizing character, when she shouldn’t be. None of the child characters of ASOIAF should be polarizing, they’re children for fucks sake.

I’m very excited to see where GRRM takes Sansa’s character in TWOW, I feel like she’s got an awesome journey coming up (hopefully involving her discovering her skinchanging powers, taking down Littlefinger, and heading north for home). 

Uh, wow, this got really long… and I’m exhausted after thinking about the sh*w that much. Here, as a treat for reading all the way down to the bottom, have a Sansa WIP drawing that I haven’t finished yet:

[a-libra-writes]

Can you stop talking about Book!Theon when you clearly know nothing about him? You’re pathetic. Show!Theon is trash, everything in the show is trash and has literally nothing to do with the books. Also what’s up with you and Ramsay? Did you read the books or you just pretend you did? Theon is the protagonist of his storyline, not a random pathetic girl, Theon has been raped and abused in every possible way and Ramsay is obsessed with Theon and only Theon, not with your random pathetic self-insert girl. “Reek belongs to Ramsay and Ramsay belongs to Reek”, rings a bell? Also why do you act like Ramsay is a bad boy with a sweet side that fucks you hard and is sweet and possessive? Do you know who Ramsay is in the books, do you know what he does to people in the books or are you just stupid? “What would Ramsay do if I was on my period ❤️😔?” He would rape you and flay you alive. Myranda only exists in the show to intentionally erase the sexual abuse Theon goes through and Ramsay’s obsession with him. I understand AUs but you act like this is character analysis, and I’m really tired of the bullshit you and other people write, even about Theon. So maybe go back to school and learn what reading comprehension is because you’re embarrassing

Lol i was debating deleting this but its just very funny 😆

[madamebaggio]

(x) (x)

Notes: Previously...

So it’s done! It’s finally over!!!

I CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE IT.

Thank you so much for all the support throughout all this time that I posted this story, going through so many hiatus and all.

I love you all for the kudos and comments. And I hope you like it!

***

Chapter 16

This was the last place on Earth that Sansa wanted to be. Honestly, at this point she’d rather have tea with Cersei.

Ok, probably not.

But anyway.

It didn’t mean she wanted to be here; about to see her brother being punched in the face, and possibly seeing Jon.

With Ygritte.

The one he never talked about, but everybody seemed to know so much about. Maybe he did have a thing for redheads.

Not that it mattered to her. This was over.

“Why do I have to be here?” Sansa grumbled once they had a spot to watch the fight.

“Moral support.” Margaery told her, not for the first time. “This is the first fight I see as your brother’s official girlfriend, so I might not be that happy to see him getting punched.”

Sansa turned to the other woman. “Wait a minute! You didn’t tell me that!” She accused.

“Yeah, yeah.” Margaery made a dismissive gesture with her hand. “Not the point.”

“What do you mean ‘not the point’? This is…”

“Excuse me.” The ladies -including Jeyne who’d been pretending she wasn’t paying a lot of attention to Marge and Sansa’s conversation -turned to the voice, only to find a redheaded woman talking to them. “Hi.”

“Ygritte.” Margaery spoke up, clearly fighting to hold in a reaction.

Ygritte’s eyes went to her. “I don’t remember being introduced to you before.”

Margaery gave a -fake as hell -airy laughter. “I like knowing people. I’m Margaery Tyrell.”

“Right. Robb’s girl.”

“I’m not sure I like being known for that.” Margaery frowned.

Sansa gave her a look, then turned her attention back to Ygritte. “I’m Sansa. This is Jeyne.”

Ygritte waved at Jeyne, but her attention was focused on Sansa. “I know. I actually came here to talk to you.”

“Me?” She wasn’t about to tell her to stay away from Jon, was she?

“Yeah… You saw me talking to Jon, and I just wanted to make it clear it was a friendly conversation. We aren’t together.”

“I…” That was unexpected. “I don’t… It’s not like… We aren’t together as well.”

Ygritte rolled her eyes. “Listen, Jon is an idiot. Don’t fight him for the title. When he comes to apologize, make him grovel. That’s what I mean.”

Sansa was so confused just then. She felt like she was missing a huge chunk of conversation. “I’m not sure he will.”

“Trust me. He will.” Ygritte assured her, then seemed to think hard for a minute. “If he doesn’t, call me and I’ll kick his ass.”

Sansa had to take a deep breath in. “I’m sorry. I’m just really confused here. I thought you were going to play the jealous ex; I wasn’t expecting the support.”

Ygritte rolled her eyes. “I have no time for that, princess.”

Jeyne snorted, and Sansa was still trying to figure out if she was serious, when the crowd started screaming and clapping.

She turned in time to see Jon and Robb entering together, before the announcer called; “Today is the Young Wolf’s last night, so we’ve decided to give him a chance for a rematch.”

Rematch?

“He’ll be fighting the Crow.”

Jon and Robb seemed surprised by the news, but this was the point that Sansa gave the fuck up.

No. She couldn’t deal with this.

Seeing Jon and Robb punching at each other was what had started this whole thing, and she didn’t want to see it again.

She wasn’t going to.

“I’m out.” She declared, turning and just going.

She heard Jeyne and Margaery calling after her, but she didn’t stop moving and pushing people out of her way. There was a ringing noise in her ear, she couldn’t even hear the crowd anymore.

She felt like she was clawing at mud to get out of that place. When she finally saw herself outside the building and the night air hit her, Sansa felt as if she was breathing again.

If Jon and Robb wanted to punch each other they were more than welcome to. She wasn’t watching this anymore, she was done with this bullshit.

“Sansa!”

Robb’s voice shocked Sansa. She turned to see he’d come from the other end of the building, with Jon right after him.

“What are you doing here?” Sansa asked, confused. “The fight…”

“I was there to fight the Wildlings, not to have my problems with Jon being used for their entertainment.” Robb told her. “Once I saw they wanted to see us fight each other, I decided I was out. I…” He cleared his throat. “I’m cool with Jon. No need for punching. Right, Snow?”

That brought Sansa’s attention to Jon. “Aye.” He nodded seriously. “Robb threw the fight, so… I just followed him out.” He frowned. “I think I just quit.”

Sansa gasped. “Jon! You needed the money!”

“I’ll be fine for a bit.” Jon assured her. “I have a friend who wanted me to work with him. I can take him up on that.”

“But, Jon…”

“I’ll be fine.” Jon said seriously. “It’s okay, Sansa. I don’t want to do this anymore.”

Sansa looked from him to her brother, then sighed. “I’m glad. I hated seeing you guys doing this.” She gave Jon a side look. “Even when I didn’t mention it.”

Jon cleared his throat and Robb winced in sympathy. “I guess you two need to talk, so…” He was already stepping away. “I really don’t want to know exactly what’s going on there, but just… Talk.” And then he turned back.

Just then Sansa noticed that Jeyne and Margaery had also followed after her, but had waited behind.

Now it was just the two of them.

“Hey.” She spoke softly to Jon.

“Hey, Stark.” He had this small smile on his face. “Can we talk?”

“Sure.” She cleared her throat. “Why does it look like my brother knows something?”

Jon seemed amazingly embarrassed. “Because he does. He knows about us.”

Sansa sputtered for a minute. “How?”

Jon was looking at the ground. “He heard me talking to Theon.”

“How did he take it?”

“At first? Not well.” Jon admitted.

“Oh god! The rematch they were talking about wasn’t that other fight, was it?” She demanded to know.

“I mean, there was this punch…”

“Jon!”

“How didn’t you hear about it?” He wanted to know. “Everybody was talking about it.”

Sansa sighed. “I was avoiding anything that had to do with you.”

That made Jon’s shoulders drop. “I was that much of an asshole?”

She gave him a flat look. “What do you think?”

“I’m sorry, Sansa. Trust me, I know that doesn’t even start to cover for it all, but it’s the first thing I want to say. I was unfair, I let my insecurities talk louder and you were the one that took the brunt of it. I had no right.”

Sansa was silent for a long minute, trying to digest his words. “Was it… Was it something I did?” She finally asked.

“No”, was Jon’s immediate answer. “You didn’t do anything. I’ve had a… Complicated childhood, to put it mildly. I grew up used to hiding a lot of what I felt, feeling like I shouldn’t ask too much of life. A lot of people like telling me I act like a martyr.”

“You do a bit, yeah…”

“Well…” Jon snorted. “Maybe I do. I just… I don’t feel like I deserve a lot, I won’t lie.”

“Did you…” She bit her lower lip. “Did you think you didn’t deserve me?”

Jon was quiet for a while and Sansa thought he wouldn’t answer, or that he was thinking of a way to say that he just didn’t want her. 

“Aye, I did.” He finally confessed. “You’re so different from me, Sansa. I kept looking at you and thinking you deserved so much better. It seemed insane to me that you’d want me.”

“Okay, but I did.”

Jon looked at her, startled. “You did?”

“Yes. I mean, how can it have possibly escaped your attention that I kept coming around?” She asked him dryly.

“I thought it was the sex.” He admitted.

“And I told you I didn’t go for casual sex.” She pointed out impatiently. “I wanted you. I just didn’t know if you wanted me as much.”

“You say ‘wanted’... Does this mean I fucked up that badly?”

Sansa pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes. “I don’t know.” She sighed. “You’re okay with Robb, right?”

“Aye.”

“And no more fighting?”

“Aye.”

“Are you going to talk to me from now on? Discuss things, admit what you’re feeling, stop thinking you don’t deserve me?”

Jon hummed. “You’re getting demanding.” He teased.

She gave him a very unamused look. “Jon!”

“I’ll do all of that, Sansa. And more.” He took a step closer. “I am sorry, and I’ll apologize for as long as you want me to. I don’t think I deserve another chance, but…”

“For fuck’s sake, Snow!” She snapped at him. “I just told you…” She took a deep breath in. “I decide if you deserve another chance, okay?”

“Do I?” He asked carefully.

“You do, you idiot.” She huffed. “But! We’re going to do things properly this time.”

“Definitely.” He agreed immediately. “I want to take out on a date. Proper date, with flowers.”

“Yes. And we’ll be official as a couple, hold hands in public…”

“Go to parties together…”

“And we’ll take it slow!” Sansa concluded. “This time we’ll do it properly. Let’s get to know each other, let’s talk, have dates, then things will fall into place.”

“Agreed.” Jon gave her a solemn nod. “We did rush into things.”

“It was great.” Sansa hurried to say. “We did enjoy it a lot…”

“Tell me about it.”

“But I really think, if we want to do this properly, we should slow down.”

“I agree.” Jon assured her once again. “I want this to work out. I want to be with you.”

Sansa felt herself smiling. “I want that too.”

They smiled at each other for a while.

“Can I get a hug?” She suddenly asked.

“You can have anything you want.” Jon told her softly.

Sansa let Jon put his arms around her. She hid her face on his neck, feeling like a great weight had been lifted from her. She probably could’ve made him grovel a bit more (sorry, Ygritte), but she didn’t want that.

She wanted him, and now that she knew he also wanted her, she just hoped that things would work out. They could take this slowly and they could figure stuff out along the way.

Honestly, as long as they talked properly from now on, Sansa was convinced they’d be fine.

She felt Jon dropping a kiss to her temple. “I missed you. Sorry for being an idiot.”

She could admit she liked him apologizing though. “We’ll work on it.”

He snorted. “Do you want to grab something to eat? I don’t want to call this our official first date, but I’m hungry.”

“I’m hungry too. Margaery wouldn’t let me eat before coming here.”

“Let’s grab something simple and tomorrow I’ll get you flowers and a proper dinner.”

“Deal.”

They let go of each other and Jon offered her his hand. “See? We can do this.”

She grinned as she accepted his hand. “We’ll do great at this whole dating, taking things slow.”

48 hours later…

“I hate you.” Sansa groaned from her side of the bed.

Jon was laughing too much to answer.

She hit him with a pillow. “What happened to taking it slow?”

“We did! 2 days. It’s a record for us.” He said, trying -and failing -to contain his laughter.

“You’re lucky I like you.” She grumbled.

Jon stopped laughing, his smile becoming soft and fond. “Aye. I am.”

[atopvisenyashill]

what are your asoiaf/hotd ships?

i am a multi shipper and my criteria for a ship is “i think it would be interesting” so that doesn’t mean i inherently want it to happen in canon, it just means they have a dynamic with some romantic tones in it that appeals to me - sometimes in a “they would be sweet” way and sometimes in a “oh they would make each other much much worse excellent” way. also - there’s just so many goddamn characters in asoiaf, very good chance i’m missing a ship i like. so anyways i italicized the ones i really enjoy let’s go -

house of the dragon

Rhaenyra/Harwin

Viserys/Daemon

Jace/Addam

Rhaenyra/Daemon

Rhaenyra/Laena

Essie/Sylvie

Rhaenyra/Aegon II

Gaemon/Aegon III

Baela/Cregan

Jace/Cregan

Laenor/Joffrey

Aegon/Helaena/Aemond (sometimes daeron is there but idc about him he’s boring lol. all the war crimes none of the mommy issues of his older siblings).

Alicent/Rhaenyra

Sabitha Frey/Black Aly

Rhaenys/Corlys

Daemon/Laena

Laenor/Daemon

Aemond/Alys

Rhaena/Jace (mostly bc of a fic i read tbh haha)

Jace/Nettles

also fuck alyn oakenfist all my homies hate alyn oakenfist

asoiaf (main series ships)

Sansa/Brienne

Sansa/Theon

Theon/Robb

Brienne/Jaime

Ned/Cat

Jon/Sansa

Cat/Brienne

Cat/Jaime

Cersei/Cat

Jon/Sam

Arya/Gendry

Thoros/Beric

Davos/Stannis (with Salladhor being super jealous in the background)

Davos/Stannis/Melisandre but like that caleb gallo meme “we’re in a gay centric semi non sexual throuple” no one knows what meli gets out of it but if you imply she’s not an important part of the throuple they start throwing shit at you

Robb/Jeyne Westerling

Oberyn/Willas

Jon/Young Griff

Joanna Lannister/Loreza Martell

Rhaella/Elia

Oberyn/Ellaria

Elia/Rhaegar

Renly/Loras

Ned/Cersei

Sansa/Jeyne Poole

Jon/Sam/Gilly

Sansa/Margaery

Jon/Ygritte

Sam/Gilly

Cat/Jason Mallister

Roslin/Edmure

Dany/Rakharo

Arya/Edric Dayne

Jon/Satin

Ashara/Elia

Arianne/Aegon VI

Jon/Arianne

Grey Worm/Jeyne Poole

Willas/Ellaria

i would say probably my favorites are nedcat, braime, throbb, and thoros/beric, i find their dynamics so romantic and tragic, like when i think about them i feel physical pain and that is what i need in a ship.

i did also really enjoy grey worm & missandei in the show even tho the ending was bullshit. and dany/jorah is marginally less creepy mostly bc of the actors chemistry lol so i am known to get slightly emo over show only jorah/dany but that’s bc their dynamic is also wildly different in the show, and also it’s ust that they gave me iain glen and harry lloyd in that amazing “yet here you stand” scene and i’ve been chasing that high ever since aksjsj

asoiaf (historical ships)

Nymeria/Mors

Elaena/Michael Manwoody (ONCE AGAIN ALYN OAKENFIST IS MY ULTIMATE OPP)

Duncan the Small/Jenny of Oldstones

Myriah/Daeron

Maron/Daenerys

Naerys/Melissa

Rhaena/Elissa Farman

Rhaena/Maegor

Rhaena/Elinor Costayne

Daeron/Jeremy Norridge

Elaena/Daena

Baelor/Maekar

Maekar/Dyanna Dayne

Aegon V/Betha

there’s some eras i haven’t really dug into yet that i want to, so i’m sure i’ll get interested in other characters too, and my reread will likely throw some other shit in my brain as well. but this is what i could think of for right now.

[alinaastarkov]

I always wondered why D&D didn't want Jeyne Poole (fake Arya) marrying Ramsay. Sansa had a completely different storyline in the books. She never married Ramsay, never got raped and yet she did in the show. It almost seemed like they wanted her to have a more horrible storyline. How everyone should feel sorry for and not Arya who saw her brothers dead body, witnessed her fathers execution, watched people get tortured. I swear the last books better make up for the shows disgrace.

They actually admitted to this exact thing. I’m glad you sound surprised, anon, it means you still have some innocence left. And I’m about to ruin it for you 😉

“Sansa is a character we care about almost more than any other, and the Stark sisters have from the very beginning been two characters who have fascinated us the most,” said showrunner David Benioff. [...]

And it’s because of Turner’s strength, Benioff continued, that it made sense to give Sansa a dramatic storyline this season and to use Ramsay’s engagement for that very purpose. In fact, the showrunners first thought about putting Sansa and Ramsay together back when they were writing season 2. “We really wanted Sansa to play a major part this season,” Benioff said. “If we were going to stay absolutely faithful to the book, it was going to be very hard to do that. There was a subplot we loved from the books, but it used a character that’s not in the show.”

Writer-producer Bryan Cogman had some insight, as well. “The seeds were planted early on in our minds,” Cogman said. “In the books, Sansa has very few chapters in the Vale once she’s up there. That was not going to be an option for one of our lead characters. While this is a very bold departure, [we liked] the power of bringing a Stark back to Winterfell and having her reunite with Theon under these circumstances.”

Besides, Cogman pointed out: “You have this storyline with Ramsay. Do you have one of your leading ladies—who is an incredibly talented actor who we’ve followed for five years and viewers love and adore—do it? Or do you bring in a new character to do it? To me, the question answers itself: You use the character the audience is invested in.”

(source)

Gross, right? First, I’m calling bullshit on them being fascinated by the Stark sisters, cause they clearly only care about one. They even admit that. “Sansa is a character we care about almost more than any other.” They literally spelled it out for us. They like Sansa the most, not a main character, which is why the writing became so one-sided. And why do they like her? “And it’s because of Turner’s strength, Benioff continued, that it made sense to give Sansa a dramatic storyline” They like Sansa because they like Sophie Turner. That’s it. And they wanted to give her something more “dramatic” than her Vale storyline. They straight up admit that Sansa is not a main role and they had to change her story to give Turner a main role. It’s also completely disgusting. I won’t say they “care” about Sansa, because if they did, they wouldn’t force her to be raped and abused when she wasn’t in the books. D&D are a pair of sick fucks because they said “There was a subplot we loved from the books, but it used a character that’s not in the show” of a plot that had a girl raped, abused, locked in a tower, and ended with her breaking bones and losing a nose. And they “loved” that plot. It’s absolutely appalling that they think that way. They say there’s a “power of bringing a Stark back to Winterfell,” but there was no power in what she did, they kept her naive and being manipulated, and reuniting with Theon causes nothing but pain. And they say it’s because they don’t want to introduce anyone new when there’s an established character, as if that’s a valid reason (it isn’t). They could have kept Jeyne throughout, brought her to King’s Landing, there’s no POV trap (and they often ignored that to invent pointless scenes) so we could have seen Jeyne with Littlefinger, seeing as they “love” the abuse and sexual assault of young girls, we could have seen her leave for Winterfell. We could have been with Jeyne on every step of her journey. The fact that we weren’t is no-one’s fault but their own. Complaining about introducing a new character this late is not a valid excuse, especially when we hear this:

“The showrunners first thought about putting Sansa and Ramsay together back when they were writing season 2.” So, not only can they not complain about Jeyne being a character we haven’t seen before, it’s their damn fault we don’t see her because they were thinking about this in season 2. Plenty of time to reintroduce Jeyne, but they wanted to do it anyway. And, seeing as they admitted Sansa isn’t a main and we know they only did this because they like Sophie Turner, this means they looked at this 14 year old actress and decided they wanted to see her raped on screen.

It was purely their sick, twisted way of trying to generate sympathy, because they knew Sansa wasn’t a very sympathetic character (aside from the obvious), they knew Arya’s story and character was much more tragic and impactful and would generate more sympathy and praise for her naturally, they didn’t like that the 14 year old they wanted to fuck would not be praised except for her acting, so they did this. And they did it. They attracted fans who are exactly like them. They achieved what they set out to. Except that everyday we stan Arya and Dany more and more, they lose. So keep it up guys.

I shall now return to my vigil outside George’s window until he releases Winds. @arsenicandfinelace has been doing all the vuvuzela work while I’ve been writing. Gotta go back and help out

[stilesssolo]

baby I’ll come back to you: coming soon

Well folks, since my current wip, where the wild things are, is winding down (there’s only one chapter left WHAT) and I’m taking off March/ early April from posting anything to focus on finishing up my remix fic(s) on time, I wanted to share a sneak peek of my next wip (mostly just so I could show off @dragonanddirewolf​‘s BEAUTIFUL beautiful art.) So here it is: the long-awaited Jonas Brothers au (sorta), which I hope to start posting in late April. I am really excited to start working on this fic, and even more excited to share it with everyone! Hopefully this little preview intrigues you and gets you as excited to read it as I am to write it! And tides you over while y’all wait for my next update, since I am incapable of really working on more than one project at a time. WHOOPS. Anyways, here it is, so enjoy!!

It feels like it’s been a bloody age since he’s actually seen both Robb and Theon in the same room. 

He spots them the moment he steps into the coffee shop, even though they’re tucked away in a back corner, away from prying eyes. Jon keeps his head down as he maneuvers through the crowded café, sunglasses still on even inside, just in case people are looking his way. It’s an old habit he has yet to break— out of the three of them, he certainly gets recognized the least nowadays, which is probably why all the tabloids claim he’s fallen off the face of the planet. Theon’s been doing movies, Robb was in a new band and is married to probably the most famous woman in the world, and Jon— well. He’s been living, best he can. Getting better, all of that bullshit. But truly, he hasn’t done anything like his brothers have in the past five years, so people don’t recognize him as much. Enough to squint at him in an I-know-you’re-famous way, but not enough to rush him like they do Robb whenever he steps foot outside his house. He outgrew his nineteen-year-old baby face and started tying his hair back, and all of a sudden it’s like he’s wearing a mask. 

Jon’s not sure how much longer that will last, though, because he has a feeling he knows why Robb’s asked them to meet him here today. 

“Jon,” he hears that familiar voice call, and he nods towards the two men at the back table, head still down. The last thing they need is the paps recognizing them, starting to spread rumors about the three of them all together again. 

“Hi,” Jon says, slipping into the booth, finally taking off his sunglasses. Light from outside streams in through the large windows, the busy sprawl of King’s Landing right before them. Theon slaps him on the arm in greeting; Robb smiles at him in that way he does now. That way that looks like everything’s fine, but where the light doesn’t quite meet his eyes. 

Gods, he can’t remember the last time his brother actually looked truly happy to see him. Probably before their last tour. 

He knows why, of course. Robb would never say it, but Jon knows that he blames him for the breakup. For everything. 

“Bloody hells, Jon, it’s been an age,” Theon says, grinning at him. “Where’ve you been?” 

“I’ve been here,” he responds, crossing his arms. “You’re the one who was off filming that movie for three months.” 

“Aye, how did that go?” Robb asks, gaze turning to Theon, that guarded look disappearing. “I haven’t seen you since you got back. You missed Rose’s birthday party, you know.” 

“I know,” Theon grumbles. “I’ll make it up to her, I promise. I have to maintain my favorite uncle status.” 

They chat for a while— mundane things, catching up. Theon tells them about the movie he’d just wrapped on. Robb shows them both a million new photos of his children. Jon keeps quiet, just listening. It’s… nice, to be back with both of them, the warm sunlight spilling in through the window, making Robb’s eyes shine like they used to when he was younger. It makes him forget, for a moment. Wish for those days back, when the three of them would spend every moment of their time writing music, pouring their hearts and souls into their careers. It was something so fleeting and magical, he’s not really sure he’ll ever find anything like that again. 

Jon realizes he’s lost track of the conversation when Theon clears his throat, looking at the two of them almost nervously, in a decidedly un-Theon-like way. “I’m glad we did this,” he says to them, “because I wanted to tell you both.” He pauses, looking at Robb, as if trying to gauge his best friend’s reaction before he even says anything. “I’m going to ask Sansa to marry me.” 

Robb’s eyes get comically wide, so much that Jon chuckles, ducking his head. But it only takes his brother a moment to recover, before he’s grinning widely, eyes sparkling in a way Jon hasn’t seen them in a long time. 

Or maybe that’s just because Jon seldom sees Robb anymore. 

“Wow,” Robb says, almost speechless. “That’s— that’s brilliant, Theon. Congratulations!” 

“Well, I haven’t asked her yet,” Theon says, giving Robb a look. “Don’t go cursing me or something now. She’ll go on and say no.” 

“You think she would?” Jon asks. Theon shrugs. 

“I don’t really, but— hells, I don’t know.” He gives Robb a look. “How did you know it was right when you asked Margaery?” 

Robb huffs in laughter. “Oh gods, don’t take advice from me on that,” he says, raising his hands in surrender. 

“What do you mean?” Theon demands. “You’re the only one of us who’s bloody married!” 

Jon looks down as the sudden feeling of coldness creeps in, like an icy dagger to the heart. Memories flash before his eyes, and he’s trapped back in the past, glimpses of hair like moonlight and teasing smiles dragging him down, drowning him. 

He still has that diamond ring somewhere— buried in the back of a drawer, probably, where he won’t stumble upon it. Seeing it is too painful, but getting rid of it— well. That’s painful in an entirely different way. 

“Aye, but Margaery made it easy for me,” Robb says. “She wrote a whole bloody album that basically told me she was waiting for me to ask her.” He laughs, shaking his head. “Y’know I still get asked if I married her with paper rings.” 

At that, Jon snorts, a little of the darkness lifting. He’s seen his goodsister’s engagement ring, and it is certainly not made of paper. 

Jon tunes out as Robb continues on, reassuring Theon. He doesn’t realize he’s being addressed until both men are staring at him expectantly. 

“Sorry, what?” he says, and Robb rolls his eyes amiably. 

“I asked, what have you been doing, Jon?” Theon repeats, and Jon shifts uncomfortably. Nothing, is really the most honest answer. Working out. Walking Ghost. Trying to keep his mind occupied and himself sober. 

It’s probably sad, to look at his life now, compared to what it used to be. When he was nineteen years old he was touring the world, singing for millions of fans, writing songs every single minute of every single day. Music was most of his life. And now he’s just— trying to get by, he supposes. It’s sad, but it’s what he’s become accustomed to. Just… making it through the day, one day at a time. 

“Er, not much,” he admits. “Not like you two, anyways.” 

Robb glances up at him, that guarded look back in his eyes. “Arya told me you’ve been writing again,” he says, quietly. Jon curses mentally— he never should have told her that. 

“Fuckin’ tattletale,” Jon grumbles. But he can tell from Robb’s expression he’s not going to drop it. “Aye, I have been,” he admits, heaving a sigh. “Not anythin’ good. Just… I dunno. I missed it, I guess.” 

“I miss it too,” Theon says, a smile tugging at his lips. “Acting is fine, but music… it’s something different, isn’t it?” 

“Aye, it is,” Robb agrees. “Margaery’s been workin’ on her next album, and it makes me think back to then. When we’d just crowd around the table in Mum and Dad’s living room, and Jon would come up with a lyric, and Theon would just hear how it should sound, and we’d write a song in an afternoon.” He sighs, a little wistfully, looking down. “Watching Margaery at the piano, it just…” 

“Feels like a part of you is missing,” Theon supplies. 

Jon doesn’t answer, but he knows what they mean. Maybe that’s why he began songwriting again. Not because he wants to have a music career anymore— just because it’s so ingrained in him, he doesn't really know what to do with himself if he’s not making music. And if he’s being honest, writing down lyrics, coming up with a melody on the guitar or the piano that mainly just collects dust in his living room… there’s a comforting familiarity to it. Like maybe his sense of self hasn’t been completely destroyed. Maybe some of the old person he used to be is buried down deep. 

“Do you ever think about it?” Theon asks, and Robb’s brow furrows. “Y’know. The possibility of… us. Getting back together.” 

Robb exhales slowly. “More than I should,” he says. “I… it’s really hit me, in the past few years. How much I miss it. And doing things by myself, or with other people, it’s just not the same.” 

“Aye,” Jon agrees, both Theon and Robb looking a little surprised at the fact that he’s participating in this conversation voluntarily. But he knows what Robb means. He did solo things after the breakup, just because he didn’t know how to do anything else. And it had been a lackluster replacement, nothing like he’d felt for the almost seven years he and Robb and Theon were together. 

“What about you, Jon?” Robb asks, and as casual as his brother may be trying to appear, Jon knows him better than that. He can hear the apprehension in his voice. And the hope. 

Jon exhales, trying to sort out his words in his head before he says something he regrets. “I… do miss it,” he says. “And sometimes I think about it. Gettin’ back together. But I always…” He hesitates. “Would it even be the same? Can we have that again, truly? Or was it just some miracle we stumbled upon we can’t get back?” 

“I wonder that too,” Theon admits. “If we got back together— would anyone even care? Would anyone want to listen to our music in the first place?” 

“I know what you mean,” Robb says, and his blue eyes flash with determination, desperation. Like he’s clinging onto this with all his might. “But I miss making music with you two. And I think if we truly did this, we couldn’t worry about the fans, or the people. We’d have to do it just for us.” 

Just for us, Jon thinks, trying not to roll his eyes. That’s a novel thought in Hollywood. All he seemed to do when they were a band was give and give and give himself away. Nothing here was ever just for him. 

Well… there was her. But now that’s gone as well. 

“I would do it,” Theon says, with a conviction that surprises Jon. “It would be hard, and who bloody knows what would even come of it, but I would. If this is you asking, Robb, then I say yes.” 

Robb blinks, a little taken aback, but then Theon’s words really seem to hit him, and he smiles. A laugh falls from his lips, eyes shining in a way that Jon rarely sees anymore. 

“What about you, Jon?” Theon asks, and that’s when Robb’s eyes dim. 

Jon sighs. “I dunno,” he says. “That’s… a big decision. I’d like to just say yes, but…” 

“I know,” Robb says. “And I don’t want you to say yes unless you really mean it, Jon. If you just… do this for us, nothing will end well.” 

His eyes drop down to the coffee table, heart heavy. Yes, he knows that’s true. Because isn’t that how it all blew up the first time? Jon couldn’t do it anymore, and instead of telling anyone, he soldiered on for Robb and Theon. For his brothers. And it all ended in fucking disaster. 

“I’ll think about it,” he promises, and the sincerity in his voice takes him by surprise as much as it does Robb and Theon. “Truly, I will.” 

Maybe it’s not a bad idea. He loved making music with Robb and Theon. It was his entire life for so long— some crazy dream they somehow made come true. The most surreal, incredible thing in the world, right there before them. And he does miss it. He misses having a purpose, an outlet, an… anything. He misses the time when his life wasn’t an endless void, a monotonous parade of going through the motions day-to-day, trying to learn to move on from something he never really thinks he’ll be over. 

Robb’s smile is warm when it meets his, and Theon claps him on the shoulder, looking uncharacteristically hopeful. And for a moment, Jon’s heart feels light, not like it’s made of iron, still heavy in his chest after nearly seven years. 

But then Robb’s expression shifts, and his stomach sinks once again. 

“There’s somethin’ else,” his brother admits. “Sansa just told me. And I figured you’d rather hear it from us, than see it plastered across all the tabloids in King’s Landing.” 

“What is it?” Jon asks, dread filling his stomach. He just knows, somehow, that this is it. This fragile peace he’s tried to build these past years is about to shatter, the rug pulled out from under him. 

Robb exhales, like he has to physically force the words out, and Jon prepares himself for the fallout.

“Dany’s back in town.” 

And with that, the world stops spinning.

[pax-2735]

Got Fanfic: A Little Less Talking

Summary: With Jon's big night coming up, he needs some advice on how to get ex-girlfriend Dany off his back for good. He should have known that asking the Starks for help was not the way to go about it...

Notes: I have no excuses when I say I don't really know what this is. It started out as a drabble about Arya meddling her way into a fake relationship between Jon and Sansa and somehow I ended up with this *shrugs*

As always, I own nothing except the mistakes.

 A Little Less Talking

Jon leans forward in his chair, his elbows resting against his knees, fingers crossed together in front of his face as he lets his eyes wander over the Starks scattered around the massive living room. He wants to think he’s patiently waiting for their reaction but his jaw is clenched and his muscles are all bunched up and he can feel the beginnings of a pinching ache between his brows from where he’s been frowning for the past fifteen minutes so… yeah, maybe ‘patiently’ isn’t the right word.

But really, can he be blamed? When the awards show is coming up fast and Dany’s texts have steadily grown from playful hints to downright menacing as the time draws near and he really needs some help as to how to deal with the whole situation without having it all blowing up in his face. Which is why he’s here now, telling the Starks all about the whole sad affair and waiting for some reaction that includes more than just the incredulous stares he’s been getting since he stopped talking.

He’d met Dany just as the band had hit big and, at first, things had been great. It wasn’t exactly love at first sight – he’s man enough to admit the initial pull had more to do with the awe of having world famous actress and renowned beauty Daenerys Targaryen be interested in him than anything else – but they’d hit it off pretty well. But ten months and countless fights later he had finally had enough and he’d broken things off for good.

Or so he had thought. Apparently, he hadn’t gotten the memo where it was clearly stated no one left Daenerys.

“I’m sorry,” Robb’s voice cuts into his thoughts, “but I fail to see your problem.” There’s a skeptical look in Robb’s handsome features and Jon sighs, rubbing his hands over his face. Which doesn’t deter Robb, not in the slightest. “You have a beautiful woman –“

“One he dumped,” Arya quips and Jon raises his eyes to see Sansa giving Robb an incredulous look of her own.

“—who wants to get back into your pants and you want our help to do… what exactly? Give you pointers? Cause I could, you know. I definitely could,” he grins, and Jon feels somewhat validated when both girls let out a disgusted groan at their brother’s antics.

“I think you’ve been hanging around Theon for way too long.”

“Gross, Robbert. Just gross,” Arya tuts and Robb looks like he’s two seconds away from giving her the finger.

“What I want,” Jon intervenes, before this whole conversation goes careening off track into a hearty discussion about brothers, pigs and the ineptitude of men in general, “no, actually, what I need are ideas about how to deflect Dany’s advances and get her to back off without causing a major scene during what could potentially be one of the biggest nights of my life.” He shoots Robb a murderous look. “Ones that don’t include letting her back into my pants.”

“Well, those are some nice pants.” Jon’s head turns so fast he’s sure his neck is gonna be screaming about it later, just in time to see Sansa’s eyes finishing up her appraisal of said pants before giving him a wink, and he gulps.

Ok, so maybe the timing of his break up with Dany and the return of a certain red haired friend had been a bit more than a mere coincidence.

Arya is looking up at him with a serious expression, apparently pondering his current predicament, and he’s grateful that at least someone seems to be, before she snaps her fingers suddenly and points at him. “What you need is a new girlfriend.”

Jon looks at her as though she’s suddenly grown another head. “That’s the last thing I need.”

“I think ‘human shield’ is the expression you’re looking for,” a still smirking Robb adds.

Arya scowls and Jon is torn between smiling at her exasperation or frowning with his own but, after seeing the way Sansa is quirking a brow at her sister, the smile wins. At least he’s not alone in thinking this is a dumb ass idea.

“Shut up Robb,” she fires back without missing a beat, before she turns back to Jon. “Don’t be thick and just try to follow ok?” Arya jumps from the couch and begins pacing the den as though she’s a lion stalking her prey. Or a wolf. Something wild, definitely, judging by the look in her eyes. “Dany keeps trying to get back together because she thinks she still has a chance, which is entirely your fault because, let’s face it, your communication skills suck. But…” she turns abruptly, her arm stretched out with a finger pointing accusingly at Jon and he cringes, “… if you rub it in that there’s no chance in any of the seven hells, then maybe she’ll get the hint and leave you alone.” She stops pacing, her eyes darting around the room as though she’s expecting someone to applaud.

“I doubt it’ll work.” Robb’s voice is somber for once, his hand rubbing absently over his beard. “She’s much too tenacious for that,” he adds, and Arya snorts at his choice of words. Robb’s eyes are twinkling with amusement despite his serious look and Jon dreads to hear the rest of it. “It would be a riot to watch though.”

“I asked you guys for help.” He sighs in annoyance. “This isn’t helping.”

“Actually,” Sansa’s voice breaks through and Jon tries – and fails – to not perk up at the sound, “Arya might have a point there.”

Jon arches a brow at her, and does his best to ignore the longing he’s sure must be etched across his face as he twists in his seat to look at her. “Seriously?”

“Let’s think this through shall we?” She stares at him, her blue eyes locking him in place and he nods tersely. He doesn’t want to listen to this – any of this, really, since he remembers quite well the stunning outcome of some of what passes as a plan in Arya’s mind – but it can’t hurt to listen before he says no right? Just so he can make an informed decision.

Nothing to do with the sound of Sansa’s voice or the way her face lights up as she speaks or how she bites her lip as she’s thinking things through. Absolutely nothing to do with any of it.

Sansa nods, looking over to Robb, who is still looking far too amused by his predicament, before her eyes land on her sister. The two share a conspiratorial smile and Jon feels a shiver go up his spine, like a sacrificial lamb waiting his turn.

“Daenerys has built her whole career on her good girl image right? Girl next door, wide-eyed and innocent and all that crap.” Sansa turns her attention back to him and Jon nods. “So, I’ll be willing to bet money the last thing she wants is to destroy that wholesome image because of a man.” She cringes before giving him a small smile. “No offense.”

“None taken,” he quickly replies, although if he’s being honest, there might have been the slightest bit.

“Exactly. It’s not gonna look good on her if she’s seen trying to break up her ex and his newly found love-of-his-life. There’s no way she’ll take that big of a risk because of some random guy.” Arya is smiling like the proverbial cat that ate the canary and Jon cocks an eyebrow at her. “No offense.”

“I’m beginning to feel like taking offense,” Jon starts, but is quite rudely interrupted when Robb decides to pipe in.

“This is the lamest, most bullshit idea I’ve ever heard,” he says, and his face splits up into a grin as he rubs his hands together. “I can’t wait to see it.”

“Even if that could work,” Jon begins, shooting Robb a dirty look for good measure, “and I seriously doubt it would, but even if. I don’t have one. And I’m not gonna pick up some random girl to try to get Dany off my back.” He gives Sansa what he hopes is a subtle look. He knows she’d never think that of him but hey, it can’t hurt to check.

“Well, obviously it can’t be just some random girl,” Arya shoots back, looking at him like he’s dense and Jon narrows his eyes at the implied insult, “the whole point is that it has to be believable.”

“It needs to be someone that knows the truth. We don’t wanna trick some poor girl into thinking this is something it isn’t,” Sansa adds with a concerned tone, and Jon smiles fondly at her. Even when plotting, she’s still sweet and concerned about others.

“And where are we going to find this magical, mythical creature? Schemers’r’us?”

Sansa lets out an exasperated sigh. “Robb, you’re not helping.”

Jon shakes his head at his best friend. “No man, you’re really not.”

Robb splutters. “Well excuse me for pointing out the very obvious flaws—“

“I know where. Sansa.” Three pairs of confused eyes turn to look at Arya, who is back to sitting on the arm of the couch looking pleased as punch.

“What did I do?”

Arya looks at her like a general imparting his orders. “It’s what you can do that matters now. You—“she points another dramatic finger at her sister and Sansa sits up straighter in her chair and narrows her eyes, “—can be Jon’s girlfriend.”

The silence that follows is so thick Jon can swear he hears the ticking of the clock hanging in the Starks’ kitchen three doors down. He’s dumbstruck and there’s a lump in his throat he knows he should be trying to swallow but his mouth feels drier than the desert right now and for once, even Robb doesn’t seem to know what to say.

But Sansa sure does. “Have you been drinking? Or are you just completely out of your fucking mind?” Her cheeks are flushed bright red and Jon can see her chest heaving as she takes a big deep breath. She looks like she’s about to continue her tirade and explain to the world (or the three of them, as it is) exactly why this idea in particular ranks number one in the history of dumb as fuck ideas, and Jon doesn’t really want to hear any of it. He knows why – at least he’s told himself that on plenty of different occasions, all the while trying to justify to himself why he never did anything about this attraction without having to admit to being a fucking coward – but he really doesn’t want to listen to her say it.

But it’s Arya to the rescue and it’s frankly quite possibly the first time he’s happy to hear her say anything since this whole conversation began.

“You’re perfect for it,” she says, sticking up her fingers to number her reasons and completely ignoring Sansa’s look of annoyance at being interrupted while at the same time throwing a pillow at Robb to wipe away his satisfied smirk, and Jon can’t help but be a little impressed at the way she multitasks. She ticks one finger, “You know the truth so there’s no risk of things getting confusing and downright messy,” ticks off another, “the two of you have known each other forever so there’s no possible reason why anyone would think this is a sudden thing and get suspicious,” one more finger, “you two are comfortable enough together to pull off the whole we’re-madly-in-love-and-definitely-sleeping-together vibe which, granted, could be awkward with someone whom you’ve just met.” She puts her hand down and shrugs casually. “Plus, Dany never liked you so it’s gonna make her extra pissed, which is always a bonus.”

“Dany doesn’t like me? I was always nice to her.”

Jon clears his throat uncomfortably, remembering the few occasions Sansa and Dany had met. There are a lot of words to describe those interactions but nice… doesn’t quite make it into the top hundred.

Sansa snaps her head to look at him with an indignant look. “I was!”

“Sure you were sweetie,” he answers while patting her knee reassuringly, and then grins when she huffs in annoyance.

“I can see where you’re going with this,” Robb adds while peeling the label off his beer bottle, “and I can see it working, sort of. But Sansa’s just been back from Essos for three months. How are you gonna work that into the story?”

“Easy.” Arya’s tone is nonchalant as she reaches for her previously discarded soda. “Sansa came back to Westeros roughly at the same time shit hit the fan with Jon and Dany. The two of them bonded over their miseries—“

“I’m sorry, our miseries?” Sansa interrupts but Arya doesn’t pay her any attention.

“—one thing lead to another until they eventually realized what was right in front of them and, bam! Feelings galore, with a whole lot of good sex thrown in for good measure.”

Jon chokes on his beer, his body lurching forward as he tries to cough out everything that just went down the wrong hole. He risks a glance at Sansa, who seems to be having a hard time deciding between looking rightfully indignant or simply murdering her little sister with the nearest pillow. Amidst her indecision, Jon thinks he really likes the shade of dark pink that seems to have permanently stained her skin, even if the opening and closing of her mouth like a fish might not be her absolute best look. She’s still lovely though, no mistake there.

He’s startled out of that particular train of thought when Sansa snaps her mouth shut with an audible clack before she turns icy blue eyes on him. “Don’t you have anything to say about this?”

“That’s… crazy?” he coughs when he realizes that came out sounding so much more like a question than he intended it to be before he tries again, with hopefully a bit more confidence. “Yeah, that’s crazy.” Sansa is still looking at him with a frown and he shrugs, not really knowing what else to say. It is crazy, sort of, but also… not, and he can’t really make up his mind at which is worse at the moment.

“I could buy that,” Robb quips, and Jon is torn between thanking him or beating the shit out of him. Probably a little bit of both. “As long as Sansa doesn’t mind being on the front cover of every magazine from here to kingdom come for the next few weeks. You know the press is gonna have a field day with this.”

Sansa shudders slightly but before Jon can think of anything to say she stands up. “I’m gonna have to think about this for a while.”

“You can’t take too long. That thing is only a couple of weeks away and you’re gonna need time to decide what to wear.”

Sansa extends a hand towards Jon and he takes it without thinking. “You mind giving me a lift home? We can talk about it some more on the way without any unwarranted opinions,” she says, narrowing her eyes at her sister.

“Hey, he came to me for help,” Arya shoots back just as Jon stands and starts following Sansa outside without a backwards glance.

***

Her fingers are spearing through his curls, tugging almost painfully as though she doesn’t know whether to pull him closer or push him away entirely. He continues relentlessly, the tip of his tongue tracing swirls against her clit as two of his fingers are pumping in and out of her, and her whole body shudders before she lets out a long, low moan of his name and breaks apart underneath him.

He doesn’t let out, still licking at her skin, drawing out every bit of pleasure until she sighs and tugs at his hair more forcefully. He knows the sign, knows that after two straight orgasms she needs a little bit of a cuddle and some time to recover. He kisses the inside of her thigh before he moves up, his lips tracing her hipbone before settling just above her navel. He knows there’s a smug grin across his face but he can’t help himself, not when she’s lying underneath him, happy and sated and completely boneless, with her eyes shining and a smile curving her lips.

If there’s one thing that he’s good at in his life, he’s glad it’s at making her this happy.

Her fingers lightly trace his jaw and he turns his head slightly to kiss the tips, nuzzling against her palm. Her smile blossoms as her other hand comes up to push back his dampened curls, her nails lightly scratching his scalp. “You think they know?”

He drops his chin back against her belly and smirks as she squirms slightly when his beard tickles her, before taking on a more serious expression. “How could they? We’ve been careful.”

She lets out a sigh before she answers him. “What Arya said… that was awfully close to the way things happened.”

“That was exactly the way things happened,” he replies, his breath spanning against her sensitive skin, his fingers leaving the softness of her thighs to trace gentle patterns against the goosebumps in front of him.

She gives his hair a gentle tug and his grey eyes look up to lock with hers. “My point exactly.”

His hands come up to her sides, pushing his weight against the bed as he lifts his head and lets his tongue start tracing his way up. She squirms again when he reaches her ribcage and rubs his beard against her skin, laughter bubbling from her kiss swollen lips and he looks up to give her a smile of his own. There’s nothing he loves more than the sound of her laughter.

His head nuzzles between her breasts before he moves it to the side, his teeth pulling her bra cup down to reveal a dusky nipple. He takes the pebbled bud between his teeth, his tongue licking over the tip before his lips close around it. She lets out a long moan that sounds suspiciously like his name and maybe he was wrong before. That is definitely the sound he loves more than anything else on this earth.

His mouth moves to her other breast and she arches her back, her hands tugging his curls to push him firmly against her chest, like she’s trying to prevent him from escaping. Like there’s anywhere else in the world he’d rather be, like he wouldn’t kill to stay here for the rest of his days.

He leaves her breast and she whines pitifully at the loss, but he’s too busy nipping and kissing across her collarbone and up to her neck to smirk at her. He’s still fully dressed when he settles firmly between her thighs, her hands dipping beneath his shirt to rake blunt nails against his back, her long creamy legs wrapping around his waist as she grinds against his jean clad cock, making him moan against her ear.

He can feel her smirk against his skin and he nips gently on her earlobe before sucking at the sensitive skin beneath it. It’s gonna leave a mark come morning, but right now he couldn’t care less and from the way she’s writhing beneath him he bets she doesn’t either.

“Would it be so bad? If they knew?” He pulls back to look into her eyes, smiling at the way her dilated pupils struggle to focus on him. Her breath is sweet as it ghosts across his lips, her pink tongue coming out to moisten her own and he growls, moving towards her.

She puts a finger against his mouth to stop him before he can even begin to kiss her. “Whose idea was it, to keep this between ourselves?” she asks, a raised brow to drive her point across.

He groans, dropping his forehead to rest against hers. “Not from your family. I meant from the rest of the world.”

“And how long do you think it’s gonna take for the rest of the world to catch on if we start making exceptions?”

“Well,” he starts, using his elbows to keep himself from crushing her so he can trace his fingertips over her face, “if you’re gonna be my fake girlfriend for the awards show, everyone’s gonna know anyway.” He shrugs casually, an impish grin settling over his face and she laughs at his boyish antics before giving him a playful shove.

“Fake girlfriend…” she mutters and he takes the opportunity to dip down and finally take her lips in a hungry kiss.

Kissing Sansa is like nothing he’s ever experienced before and even though they’ve only been doing this for barely three months he’s pretty sure he’s already addicted. She bites into his bottom lip and he opens his mouth to lick inside of hers, his tongue gliding against hers in an erotic dance.

Sansa pushes against him and he rolls over, his hands finding their way into her fiery tresses to keep her lips against his as he brings her on top of his body. When she pulls back they’re both panting, and she smiles before dipping her head down to rain tiny kisses and gentle bites all over his neck.

“Just so we’re clear,” she mumbles against his skin, “we didn’t commiserate over our miseries – that word is entirely unwarranted. You’re the one who’s miserable.” She pulls back slightly and Jon can feel her smiling. “It’s why you write all those sad, depressing songs.”

“I’m thinking my songs might be up for a change of pace,” he answers, and she laughs against his throat, a warm puff of breath igniting his skin, his hands skimming down her back to settle over her ass and pull her closer to where he’s rock hard for her.

Sansa moans and grinds down on him, moving back up to his lips and for a few moments their conversation is forgotten and they lose themselves in the feel of each other. When she pulls back from his mouth Jon whines, his head lifting from the pillow to try and chase them back and she smirks, keeping herself just out of reach, her lips hovering over his but never quite touching.

It’s maddening, really, and he retaliates by letting one of his hands slip further down, teasing her folds with a barely there touch. The smirk is gone in a second and he tastes her breathy Jon against his lips, sees her eyes darkening further as her body shudders and he’s struck again by how incredibly stunning she is.

“If we’re going to do this…” she whispers and he stops, waiting to hear what she has to say. Because Robb is right about one thing - this is a big deal, and it’s going to mess up her life and he wishes he could protect her from all of it, but he can’t, there’s nothing he can do about it and he needs to know that she’s sure, needs to know if this is really what she wants and whether or not she’s going to regret this down the line. Whether or not she’s going to regret them.

Because he can take everything else, but he’s not sure he can take that.

Sansa seems to sense that his mind is spiraling somehow and she kisses him again, a gentle, soft brushing of lips that quiets his mind and brings him back to her. When she pulls back to look at him her eyes are shinning and there’s a playful smile teasing her well kissed lips. “As I was saying…” she starts again and he smiles back, only because she makes him so fucking happy, “if we’re going to do this, there’s only one thing that we need to be concerned about right now and Arya was damn right about it, not that I’ll ever tell her that.” He quips a brow at her in question and she huffs back in mock annoyance. “I’m gonna need to figure out what to wear.”

He laughs, and after a second she breaks and laughs with him, her head dropping down to nestle sweetly against the crook of his neck, in the spot she claims belongs to her. And then he pulls her lips back to his for another melting kiss and that’s it.

It’s settled then.

***

Meanwhile, back at the wolf’s den…

Robb sprawls over the couch, legs splayed open, an arm thrown over the back of it, his other hand nursing a beer like he has no care in this world. Only his eyes give him away, shrewdly looking upon his sister who is looking far too pleased with herself.

“You’re looking very pleased with yourself.”

Arya grins at him as she takes a pull from the beer she’s switched to now that all the scheming seems to be over and done with. “That’s because I’m a fucking genius even if none of you recognizes my brilliancy.”

Robb raises an amused brow at her. “And so modest too. Can I ask, what’s your investment in this situation? What are you hoping to gain from all of this?”

“Bragging rights for eternity, for starters,” she quips immediately, still grinning like a madman and, if possible, Robb’s eyebrows shoot even higher.

“For getting Jon a fake girlfriend to help him get rid of his old one? Hardly seems worth it.”

“Oh please,” Arya scoffs, waving a hand carelessly around, “I couldn’t care less about that.” She leans forward casually, letting her arms rest against her knees. “See, I actually like Daenerys. I don’t think she’s necessarily right for Jon but… she’s really fun to be around and if he has a problem with her he can just sort it out himself like the big boy he’s supposed to be.”

“You’re losing me here.”

Arya rolls her eyes and lets out a sigh of irritation and Robb swears she couldn’t call him an idiot any more explicitly without using the actual words. “I may not think Daenerys is right for Jon but –“ she makes a dramatic pause to raise a finger in the air and it’s Robb’s turn to roll his eyes at her over the top ways – “I happen to know Sansa is just perfect. And,” she narrows her eyes as though daring him to disagree, “even more importantly, I know Jon would be perfect for Sansa.”

Robb lets the silence following her dramatic speech stretch for a few moments and keeps a serious face as though he’s giving this some serious thought. He takes a long pull from his beer and then frowns like he’s just come to a conclusion and it’s nothing like Arya’s. “So you think that getting them to pretend to be together will… give them a push in the right direction?”

“As if,” Arya snorts.

“Ok Alicia, mind dumbing it down for those of us in the audience who don’t share your amazing intelligence?”

Arya shoots him a dirty look, a clear sign her patience is wearing thin and Robb hides his smirk behind his beer. She lets out a frustrated grunt before shooting up from the couch to stand directly in front of him. “There’s no need to push for anything. For god’s sake, have you seen the way they look at each other when they think no one’s watching? I’m surprised no one gets pregnant from just being in the same room.”

Robb scowls when he sees the way she’s now grinning at him, clearly mocking his discomfort. “Course I’ve seen it. I’m not fucking blind,” he mumbles.

“So, since you’re not blind, you can obviously see my plan is perfect. I’m just steering them in the right direction and, in the process, ensuring them both eternal happiness and bliss, which means they’ll stop mopping around and the rest of us don’t have to deal with their pining and longing looks any longer. All with absolute minimal effort and under the guise of helping out a friend, which I’m totally doing as well, by the way, just not in the way he thinks. Flawless victory.” She bows down dramatically, like an artist at the end of a performance, and Robb gives her a one shoulder shrug.

“I’d applaud but my hands are busy,” he says casually, taking the beer bottle back to his lips.

“And mine should be as well ‘cause I need to write this shit down. It’s gonna make an amazing speech for their wedding.” She turns with finality, clearly done with the whole thing, and skips towards the stairs as Robb watches her go with mild interest.

Truth is, Jon and Sansa don’t really need any nudges or pushes or steering or anything in any direction whatsoever, Robb knows. He doesn’t quite understand what they’re doing exactly, why the secrecy and the sneaking around and why don’t they just admit that something is happening between them, but he knows that something is.

Because it’s hard to mistake what he saw in the driveway a few weeks back, when Jon had politely been helping Sansa out of her car before he very impolitely had pushed her against the door of said car and had proceed to kiss her in a way that would have made a lesser man turn tail to give them some privacy.

Robb had eventually done just that, but only after the image of Sansa’s hands making their way inside Jon’s back pockets to pull him closer and the way Jon’s hand had wound around her auburn tresses to deepen their kiss, the other having mysteriously disappeared behind Sansa’s back, had proven way, way too much for him. He really only has himself to blame, he knows, but… curiosity killed the cat and all that.

He wonders briefly if he should burst Arya’s bubble about this whole cock up of a plan of hers just yet and just let the two of them be but in the end decides against it. No harm will come of it and she’s right about one thing – it just might give them the nudge they need to come clean about what’s going on.

And in the end, this is gonna make an amazing speech for him to give at their wedding.

[margoshansons]

Give us the Dave rant

YESSSSS!! I love you for enabling me haha

Tldr: Dave Benioff is a pathological liar and a shitty writer who manipulates everyone he works with.

Most of my points come from this video by the Dragon Demands (who did a whole series on him and explains this a lot better than I ever could so go check it out)

So basically, I hate David Benioff. This is not only based on how he treated my characters or how the show ended, but also on who he is and his history.

David Benioff is a compulsive liar and has been since the beginning of time. He even says it was what drew him to writing when he was a kid. If you go back to the very beginning of Game of Thrones during the interviews, he even admits to this.

“...it was kind of the same. I was kind of a pathological liar as a child”

“I definitely got the lesson early on that it was not socially acceptable to be a pathological liar”

(bibliostar.tv interview)

He doesn’t say he learned that it was wrong to be a pathological liar, he says it wasn’t socially acceptable.

Please let that sink in.

My whole point is that this type of behavior has been a part of him since he was a kid and his parents never corrected him or punished him for it. This led Benioff to lie in his regular life and eventually on the Game of Thrones set.

Emilia Clarke has given numerous interviews about Benioff’s tone on set and how most of the time she couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not. One of the most prevalent examples is the infamous Starbucks cup from season 8.

Emilia claims that it wasn’t hers (and it probably wasn’t) but during the interview, Benioff is so serious and so deadpan when he says “just admit it was yours” that we can’t even tell if he’s joking. And he doesn’t let it go either. He keeps bringing it up in the interview to the point where Emilia gives up fighting it. 

This is gaslighting. Plain and simple. 

And it doesn’t stop there. 

Almost every single actor on set has questioned the seriousness of David Benioff when they were working with him. 

There was a common ‘prank’ that would be played on set every year where Benioff and Weiss would write a fake script and hand it to the actors, claiming that it was the real script for that week. 

Let that sink in. He gave the actors fake scripts and convinced them that they were real. 

One of these scripts included Theon Greyjoy getting stabbed by Hodor in such a realistic way that Alfie Allen was convinced he was getting sent home that day. That he was out of a job and had to go search for something else. And this continued for YEARS. 

Almost every season there would be some kind of ‘prank’ or ‘joke’ that Benioff would play on the actors, and every season the actors were miserable. Benioff did not foster a healthy working environment and as a result, so many of the GOT actors have no desire to even mention the show anymore.

So, moving on to the other reason I fucking hate him.

David Benioff is NOT a writer.

Yes, he can write, but he is not trained in screenwriting or any other form of writing. Dan Weiss is. In that same interview, he admits that the only thing that drew him to writing was that he loved lying and wanted a socially acceptable way to do that (I'm paraphrasing but you get it).

“Thinking of the ideas is fun for me, it’s the actual writing part that’s painful”

(bibliostar.tv)

A sentiment we’ve all felt I’m sure. But despite that, we all enjoy writing, we were drawn to it for some reason. And because we enjoy the process so much, we make an effort to improve our understanding of story structure, characters, and plot development.

Benioff doesn’t.

And it pisses me THE FUCK OFF. 

Writing is an art form. Just like dancing or playing an instrument, it needs to be practiced over and over and over again. You need people to teach you what’s right and what’s wrong. Despite what people think, you can’t bullshit your way through writing a story or a paper.

And you certainly can’t bullshit an entire TV Show.

Before Game of Thrones, most of his stuff kept getting rejected from publishers for lacking story structure. They said his ideas were amusing but his stories were filled with plot holes or incoherent endings. 

Now, why does that sound familiar....?

*stares at the camera like i’m on the office*

It’s an insult to actual writers who care about the craft to call Benioff a writer, especially when he doesn’t understand basic story structure.

In conclusion, David Benioff is a shitty human being and an even shittier writer. Please never hire him for anything ever again.

[musical-chick-13]

Melisandre too please

OKAY STRAP IN MY FRIEND BECAUSE I WANT TO SCREAM ABOUT GOT WOMEN TODAY

• Did they live up to their potential? / In what ways was their potential unachieved?

I’m going to stick to the show because, again finished when the books aren’t. So, I really love Melisandre with my whole heart. You know, you have this mysterious woman who easily manipulates a powerful man, but it’s not just a standard femme-fatale I love power kind of thing. She grew up enslaved (at least in book canon, I can’t remember if this was ever mentioned in the show), and she’s in, essentially, a codependent relationship with her religious faith. It’s not for some sort of fake demureness or quest for purity, it’s because she thinks it’s genuinely the only thing she can do to save the world. She’s not a corrupt pastor, she’s an extremist who truly thinks she’s doing the right thing. But she’s not quite a competely-brainwashed, naive young victim, either. Obviously being sold into slavery and trained in the priesthood since forever ago influences her beliefs. But she reflects deeply on the nature of morality and owns up readily to the fact that sometimes she engages in acts of violence in the name of what she believes. It’s not an accident, people’s lives simply come at the expense of her service to R’hllor and faith in the coming of Azor Azai. She balances a very fine line between two extremes of the religious zealot morality spectrum, and I think she does it very well. The one thing I will say is that the show couldn’t seem to make up its mind on whether or not she was a fraud or whether she actually had Special Magic Powers. And not in kind of a “We won’t show you all the details of what happened, judge for yourself if she’s legit” way. They had her whole conversation with Selyse about using potions for desired fire effects, but she gives birth to shadow assassin babies and then literally brought someone back from the dead. If you’re going to make it ambiguous, keep it ambiguous. If not, make a decision and commit to it. Being completely shrouded in mystery; being a complete, unapologetic fraud; and being a supernatural entity entrusted with magic who sometimes misuses it “For The Greater Good” are all much more interesting than flip-flopping back and forth on characterization because you’re afraid to commit to a concept. Also, for some reason, in season 7 her main objective was to bring Jon and Dany together? Why? They should have explained how she got to that point and why she thought it was necessary. Also her death, but I talk about that in the last point.

• How they negatively and positively affected the story.

Positive: She brought Stannis into the story, leading to a discussion about whether or not the concept of justice is born from conformity to rules or a desire to put more good into the world. We are introduced to another religion in Westeros that helps enrich the worldbuilding and leads to a moral compass that is centered so differently from the other characters that it provides a fresh way of interpreting the story’s events and keeps us engaged. We are introduced to Davos aka Onion Dad through her and I love that guy.

Negative: She brought Stannis and Davos into the story, to the point where show Shireen died FOR NO REASON  which COMPLETELY RUINED STANNIS’S CHARACTER IN THE PROCESS. Stannis wasn’t supposed to be The Irredeemable Bad Guy, he was supposed to be another link in the chain that encompassed all of the different ways of looking at morality. Instead, they used his multifaceted, complex relationship with Melisandre to flatten out his characterization, make him the resident Pathetic Game Player We Are Supposed to Laugh At, and ultimately left off all degree of nuance by making him burn a child alive for shock value. I’ll never forgive the show for that. (Also, what with Brienne’s smiting of Stannis, Davos being the All-Around Good Guy and the fact that Mel’s death was so...anticlimactic...we’re also apparently supposed to see Stannis as the one primarily responsible for Renly’s death? Just? Ignoring Mel’s (and Davos’s) part in that? Sounds fake and narratively inconsistent, but okay.)

• What my favorite arc for them is.

-I think, probably after Stannis’s death (how said death came about notwithstanding, see above), when she realizes that she was...wrong? About her faith? She thought she knew how the world was supposed to work, like she had finally figured it out and unlocked some big secret, and then it just wasn’t true at all. And (kind of similar to what I said about Cersei) she has to rebuild herself. She and Davos have reversed their ways of thinking, where Davos believes-maybe not in R’hllor or any god(s), but in the existence of inexplicable and superhuman things-and now he has to convince her. And only then does she (and the audience) learn of her true power. (Which, as I mentioned above, I’m not entirely sure how I feel about this. Her being a charlatan strikes me as a character choice I would want more in a story I was writing, but I’m not writing these books/episodes, lmao.) Her priorities become more skewed toward “Fighting the White Walkers and making sure whoever Azor Azai is has a world left to save,” which WE LOVE ORGANIC SHIFTS IN PERSONAL MOTIVATION WE REALLY DO Y’ALL

• What I think of their ending.

-Ugh. I don’t think I’ve ever actually talked about this, but her just going, “Well, my goal is done, bye” and then going out into the snow and just laying down to die is...how do I put it...utter bullshit. There was never any true payoff in her ongoing conflict with Davos, no resolution to her (weird, creepy) relationship with Jon or how he felt about her doing awful things but still being the person who brought him back to life, she didn’t even get a moment of dying in service of a cause she believed in (like, for example, Theon, whose ending I also hated but for much more personal reasons that have less to do with narrative structure and more to do with my feelings). She legit just said, “I’m out” and instantaneously died. Also...she, Davos, and Jon have been through a LOT. The fact that there was barely any mention of her or what her death meant save for that one conversation Davos had with Tyrion??? for some reason???? seems like a waste. If someone has been with you through multiple traumatic experiences, it doesn’t matter if you hate them, you’ll have some sort of feelings after they die. Davos never got retribution for Shireen, doesn’t that bother him?? How does Jon feel knowing he owes his life to the killer of an innocent child? How does Davos feel seeing yet another person die right in front of him, but intentionally this time?? *sigh* Emotional through-lines are a thing, people!

• When I wish they had died. / If I think they should’ve died.

-Ultimately, my biggest beef is that there was...nothing I saw in the show that suggested this was how she wanted her story to end. If you’re going to make a character feel hopeless upon resolving a specific problem or tie their entire reason for existing to one conflict, you have to have them talk about it or personally reflect on it? You can’t just stick that on as an afterthought to justify...whatever it was D&D were trying to justify. Melisandre has always had such a complicated relationship with Westerosi morality, and she NEVER got to see any direct consequence of that (and by consequence I don’t even mean, like...punishment or something, I literally just mean a result that happened because of it). She, again, legit just walked in the snow by herself and insta-died. It 100% felt like they just didn’t know what to do with this character so they just scribbled something in so they wouldn’t have to spend any time on her later because they didn’t care about her. (Which, obviously, they’re wrong. I love her and she’s so interesting this is a fact. Shame on you, D&D.) I do think, for her, it makes sense based on her religious ties to kind of...have a last-minute swerve toward penance. Not guilt or redemption, per se, but a way to honor the world she’s trying to save by way of choosing to die through a selfless act. Whether that be sacrificing herself as a distraction for the White Walkers or putting herself in the line of fire (ice?) for Jon because she thinks he'll help heal the world or (my personal favorite) fighting off a White Walker to protect Davos because she has finally come to sort-of understand his nuanced take on morality and that although he has some bad/dark parts, he is genuinely a good man and deserves to make it out alive. Let him have the life that Shireen didn’t get to have. Davos would be SO CONFLICTED because She Did a Good Selfless Thing For Someone Who Wanted To Kill Her But She’s An Awful Person What Do I Think About Good And Evil Now and the introspection would be delicious.