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arcsin27 · 2 years ago

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Justifying to myself why the narrative foils are who I think they are using the themes I identified in that other post.

Keep in mind 1. My memory can be hazy 2. Im not the best at criticism, characterization, or theme analysis. I’m kinda just vibin

Maki (P1): Escape - Although it was technically Kandori’s doing, the alternate reality was created by Maki. It was her ideal world, an internal place she could retreat to to escape her bleak life. She represents the idea that running and hiding - to the point of escaping life entirely and wishing to die - is acceptable until the party helps her realize the errors in this way of thinking. I’d bet Kandori could fit this theme too to some degree but I straight up can’t remember :(

Jun (P2IS): Dreams - Jun’s entire character revolves around dreams. This isn’t a bad thing; the main party is very similar in this regard. The main problem comes from his methodology. Instead of believing in obtaining dreams through hard work and dedication, he instead grants them like wishes. The party, especially Maya, teaches him that this cheapens them. Secondary issues include his ability to steal dreams, leaving people as empty husks that fade away without accomplishing anything, and his granting of destructive dreams that are detrimental to those around the dreamer.

Sudou(?) (P2EP): Acceptance - So I’m not really sure about this one… I never really thought about who the antagonist of p2ep is. Doesn’t help that I didn’t understand and don’t remember the plot :|. If I recall, Tatsuya Sudou is a major antagonist because he could not accept his situation. He hated his father and his life, and upon learning of the Other Side, he could not accept his reality either. The party struggles with acceptance as well, but while they learned to cope and move forward, Tatsuya dies still wishing things were different, even if they could never be. I’m assuming Tatsuzou is also a good fit but I deadass cannot remember a thing about him lmao maybe others will have a proper answer for this entry

Ryoji (P3): Death - Yeah yeah Ikutsuki and even Takaya probably fit better but still. I like him more lol. But he still fits regardless. The theme of the game is basically to disregard or overcome death, right? Well Ryoji is death itself. Plus, Makoto is withdrawn and shuts the world out, whereas Ryoji is open and friendly and sees the beauty in life. Then they switch. Makoto wants to hold onto life and defeat death, but Ryoji tells him it is impossible. He becomes inevitability and ignorance while Makoto becomes rebellion and openness. But also, since Ikutsuki and Takaya want to bring about death and blindness to the world they’d also work pretty well. Maybe it’s because they get dealt with quickly that I don’t see them very well in this position? Or because Ryoji is more perfectly tailored to Makoto than the others? Or maybe I just like Ryoji lol

Adachi (P4): Truth - Ngl I didn’t finish this one so I don’t actually know much about Adachi, sorry :( I know he is tailored for Narukami, like Ryoji is for Makoto, so just with that he’s basically confirmed to be the narrative foil in my eyes lmao. From what I’ve heard, and from the wild guesses I’ve made, I’d think that Adachi is the type of foil that’s identical to the other instead of opposite? He is living his true self, and he doesn’t care what others think of this decision. Narukami also chooses to be his true self of course, that’s the point of the game. I’m guessing the difference is that Narukami chose kindness as his truth while Adachi chose hatred? Idk I’ll need help with this one

Akechi (P5): Rebellion - Akechi is the narrative foil. Do I have to explain it? The game beats you over the head with it no matter the version. Chosen to be opposing forces by god, “two sides same coin,” constantly comparing themselves to each other, etc. The tricky thing is how exactly they foil each other. Just a minute ago I was explaining Akechi to someone and out of nowhere I said that his sense of justice serves himself while Ren’s serves others, so there’s that. Wait it’s rebellion shit uh… well same deal, Ren rebels against adults in power to help others while Akechi rebels against adults in power to help himself. It could also be because Ren’s rebellion is meant to fix things and heal society while Akechi’s is meant to destroy and give him vengeance. They’ve both been abused and heals down by adults and society, but while Ren rebels against those who wronged him, Akechi just sort of lashes out and anyone. Plus, Akechi is actually not rebelling for most of the game, but is under the strict control of a said adult in power. Meanwhile Ren is completely free, rebelling against adults instead of being under their thumb. I’d like to note I only have so many options because, like I said, I’m not the best analyzer. Each of them sound accurate to me but idk their characters and the themes well enough to choose one ;-;

#long post #persona series #persona #meta analysis #narrative foil #narrative foils #maki sonomura #Jun #tatsuya sudou #ryoji #adachi #akechi

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okimargarvez · 2 years ago

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Falling slowly - 1

I think that we never talked enough about what Penelope feels for Luke. Because it is so good to see a man like him behaving like a foolish whenever she is around. But now they are at the same place, at least in my opinion. I’m about to make a big and very-long analysis about the growing of Penelope feelings for Luke.

We never watched their first met, and it’s a big waste, but we have an interview where Kirsten said something like they all imagined that scene that was never shot, with her saying to the team she would have hated whoever would have taken Derek’ place. We also have a scene, before their first moment together on the screen, with Rossi and JJ explaining to Spencer the dynamics between Garcia and the new guy. They all expected her reaction, because she never liked changes.

At the beginning, I think it was just attraction, physically, I mean. She has eyes, she is not stupid, she knows perfectly that Luke Alvez is a pleasant to the eye, like she will tell Lisa (but not for her, for other girls, of course). In episode 1 of Season 12, she barely looks at him. She does everything to not do it. She tries to make him believe she is a professional person; but fails. She tries to be cold, distant, maybe a little rude, but fails again, because it comes out a funny situation, with flirting-implications and Luke doesn’t play against it, he does the exactly opposed. She is usually the flirty-one, she did it even with Hotch, but is Luke the first to start a lot of their flirting moments.

Penelope loves to make jokes and double-meaning phrases, but when Luke Alvez asks her to check sexy shops, she seems shocked and ashamed, then bites her thumb to avoid a good reply, like she would have done with Morgan. And she answers like a professional agent.

We have to remember a fact, that is easy forgettable. Until Luke tells her about Hotch offer, she treats him in that way even if Luke is not taking Derek place, he is just helping them, because Rossi asked him to. But Luke made a great mistake: he born hot, really hot. Not just for his appearance, but with his attitude towards her, especially towards her.

When they met at the elevator, after the case, she tries to run away, but he stops her with the big news. She can’t believe it, then Luke says he is in training, but she will have to find a way to be nice with him. Penelope is clearly annoyed, but when he challenges her calling her “the queen of ice”, can’t resist but shows him the real her.

The way she smiles! It’s for fake, but she will do it soon for real. After this, Luke decided to shameless flirt with her again, asking about the Canadian boyfriend and calling her chica. Penelope starts with the first of many nicknames for him: Mr Tall Dark and Blandsome. She takes advantage to get a good look of him.

They get into the elevator, settling close; too close for people that barely know each other and with one pretends to hate the other, don’t you think? The fact he mentions his girlfriend is perfect in line with Penelope thoughts on him. Luke is a macho, perfectly aware of his physical look, that kind of man who likes to tease all the women. He did harder with her just because she didn’t let him play his game. I think that she has already a crush, little crush, on him, at this point.

In episode 3 Penelope shows another thought about what she expected Luke to be. She starts rambling about the fact she is not a drunk person, but still likes to sip a drink, maybe two. Luke can just laugh and smirk.

But, if she really hates/doesn’t like him, why she cares about his opinion? This is a recurrent thing, for Garcia towards Luke. No matter she calls him Newbie, she still wants his approbation and enjoys his compliments.

In episode 4, she meets Roxy. This time she doesn’t try to avoid him; we are in the acceptance phase. He will be around, at least for a while, so she can take her part of fun. But all changes when Luke says a word: dog. Maybe two. My dog.

Penelope looks at him in a different way. Because she loves animals, is the reason why she starts work for FBI. And whoever spends his time with a furry friend… can’t be so bad. So she was wrong about him? But, anyway, she isn’t ready to tell herself that.

Then Roxy appears and… OMG, she is real, so sweet, so beauty. Roxy licks her face and Penelope loses her mind. Telling Luke that any female (this means she includes herself) would be “intoxicated” by his masculine wiles. And adds what she thought about him, ready to admit she was wrong. But… surprise! Luke already knows. He knows she didn’t want to like him and made easier for her to do it. Enjoying pushing her with the tease. Luke profiled her; and Penelope seems flattered. You can see it in the last glance they exchange while the Elevator doors are closing. And her soft laugh.

In episode 5 she makes another step in his direction. She uses Roxy as a screen, a pretext. She walks through the bullpen and stops right in front of his desk. Luke is really surprised. She notices it, but has a task and doesn’t let herself be confused by other stuff. She places two gifts on his desk. Her body language is so different from first episode. All of her movements have flirty shades. Especially the way she moves her arms. But when Luke asks if this is for him, she is ready to clarify that no, it’s for Roxy. But he can open them for her.

She is so happy and proud of herself. That’s why Luke doesn’t tell her immediately the truth. He doesn’t want to hurt or upset her. It’s the first time that she is nice, really nice, with him. But she feels it anyway. She senses his lie. And his fear comes true: she seems really sad, disappointed by him. She tells him (even if she used an interrogative tone) that he doesn’t like it. Luke is so worried; he says twice that is not so.

Then he makes his puppy face, before telling her the real reason for his pause. Penelope changes again her attitude. She feels sorry, but she is a ray of sunshine (just one of million reasons why Luke loves her), so she finds soon the good side, asking him if he does think that the sweater is great. He replies that it’s amazing, but it’s clear that the amazing thing, here, it’s her. She smiles, so happy. Her mouth, her expression, her voice… all flirty. Then Luke says it was verry thoughtful and she moves her shoulders in a malicious way. But her phone advises her that there is a case.

At the end of the ep, Luke is about to leaving, but then Penelope stops in front of his desk. With a gift in her hands. She shakes it, to get his attention. At the moment she catches his eyes, she smiles. Roxy is again a screen, between them. Luke asks her if she will do it every day, and she replies in a flirty tone that she is moderate. The way she moves, all her body, is sexy (in a not gross way, though). You can understand it looking at the way he is looking at her.

Then she takes the gift and moves it an inch close to him. She doesn’t have to do it. But his eyes follow the movement, carefully. This time he can be genuine happy for the gift. She notices it. Her smile is so big. Penelope tells him that is good to do it right. But points out that she will not do a gift for Roxy every day, because it would be excessive. He flirts back and replies that she is the queen of moderation.

The moment is broken by Rossi. She doesn’t let Luke time to reply, she does at his place (a thing that couple makes). She does it looking directly at him. She challenges him to rebel. And Luke does it. He says he is in. She pretends to be shocked and tells Rossi that Luke is trying to confuse them, but she will not buy it. Luke enjoys it and says that he just wants a beer. In the elevator Rossi is between them, just a step back. Penelope looks at him and says that maybe they are in time to save him, but he has to know that the new guy pays. During the whole episode she looks at him with no fear, using Roxy and the teasing as a wall, behind which she can protect herself.

In my opinion, in episode 7 Penelope steps back. Between this moment and the gifts time, we have an emotional bomb for BAU team: Hotch and Jack are under protection. Emily is the new unit chief. I think that Luke and Penelope were on the road of a good friendship, but then he must tease her and here we are.

Luke comes in the room, why Penelope is discussing Tara’s brother situation. She is already upset. Then the newbie arrives and asks right why there is Tara’s brother on the screen. She is shocked. Why he knows? She was the last to discover about it? Spencer tells her that it was an experiment. Then Luke shots his joke, his provocation. He bets that she would haven’t resisted more than 6 hours. He is so smug. But she’s not.

She doesn’t seem just upset. No, she seems… hurt. Yeah. Her eyes are so big. I think the reason is twofold. In part is because she feels betrayed by all her friends, not just Luke. But partially is just for Luke. He chosen to tease her instead, standing with the others, instead of… what? Remember that at that point she has probably a crush on him, so she is not so rational about the situation. Luke doesn’t realize immediately what he made. Then Penelope behaves like the usual queen of ice, saying that she thought they were her friends, but they all suck, then turns to Luke and pointing that especially he sucks, adding a caustic “Newbie”. And finally he understands it was a big mistake, considering his expression while he follows her with his eyes.

In episode 8 we can see that Penelope reaction in previous one was exaggerated. But still takes consequences (in my opinion). They tease the whole episode. She calls him Newbie three times. But he provokes her a lot too. He asks/tells her about her super powers, and risks to line up with JJ and Spencer on the “awesome 8”. In this way he gets a direct look only for him and to be considered as a thing apart. Because Penelope says they don’t get a vote, but “especially you, Newbie”.

Then, at the end of the ep, when they meet new agent Stephen Walker, Luke tells her she is forgetting something, but she is hurry to reply she doesn’t, calling him Newbie again. Nothing so important, in this episode, to be honest, if not a little thing, but from Luke, the play he makes stealing her remote control. But here the focus is on Pen.

In episode 10 there is another little thing. Not that she calls him Newbie (McNewberson) but that is the first time she shows her approval about his job. The whole sentence is important. “Look at you, Newbie McNewberson, with another good call”. First, the not so evident flirt. Second, she says “another”, so she is admitting he is good. Respect is an important brick for built the relationship wall.

Episode 14 is one with more garvez scenes. We never see Luke alone, without Pen. Not once. While we see her talking to the team without him. Anyway, they work together. We don’t know if it’s their/his choice or a direct order. Any time Penelope is on the field, we see Luke making all to take care of her (13x1, 15x4, 16x9/10). So probably he makes his part on it. And Penelope… she teases him. If she must be so close to him, she need an armor, something to put between them. And she uses the usual one. She looks at him, when she says she is the real splash of color and he laughs, with his “I’m adore you” face.

And she accepts his hand, even if she doesn’t really need his help to get down the sidewalk. She rushes to take it off, but it wasn’t enough. And their body are like magnets. If one moves away for a sec, has to come back close to the other. They stay really too close for coworkers. He asks her if the unsub can watch trough the traffic cameras and she calls him Newbie, because it was a silly question, for him. He smarter than that.

She doesn’t want to go with him on the car and shows her fear to die on a crash; Luke tries to reassure her but doesn’t really working. She ignores even his “he’s not good as you”. That wasn’t enough, so Luke stays close to her even during the bail. He places his hands on her shoulder, but she is just too worried for Spencer to notice. But I think that, later, she does it. At time of ep 17.

But between 14 and 17, happens something. In 15th they have a teasing moment of the sequence to visit Reid.

But in 16th, he decides to push harder, telling her she needs to find new material. But how can she do it? I have an idea, but… I will not share it here. Anyway, she tries new nicknames, but they just don’t work. And after it, we will hear her for first time calling him by his first name. And, until 15x7, we don’t hear it again. It’s just Luke and Alvez.

Back to the episode. She shows more collaborative, she follows his thoughts. But then… Luke has to do it. He tells her she is the best. She believes it. The fact here it’s that she already knows she is the best. She doesn’t need the ex Newbie to tell her. But she wants it. She cares about his opinion on her. She hates him, but still. So, when he adds that she is the best… but available, she is upset. Not in a sadly too emotional way, this time. He hangs up, so smug, and she calls him, for last time, Newbie. He tricked her again. No way.

Then, episode 17. Luke makes a big step in it. But what about Penelope? It’s interesting consider her point of view. She is crying after seeing Reid in prison. It’s a private and intimate moment. She doesn’t want the help of anyone. Least of all Luke’s. But he walks along the corridor and hears her sniffs. He stops. He half-opens the door. He looks at her with so sad face. He can’t stand her suffering. Back to Pen. She hears his voice asking her if she is okay. She must lie, even if she is not good on it. She tells him she is fine. But obviously he doesn’t believe her and tells her she doesn’t seem fine.

With a little little voice Penelope asks, begs him to leave her alone. But he doesn’t. She seems scared. He tells her he knows he is not the someone she would like to talk to (but instead she prefers to go trough this kind of moment by herself), but he can’t walk away with her like this. It’s a declaration, the tip of the iceberg of what he will tell her in the last scene. But she is emotionally confused, so she probably doesn’t get it immediately. Or maybe she doesn’t want to.

Anyway, Penelope turns her back, but then he gets the point. And, for her, it’s just… oh damn, how is possible that I take him so distant but he knows me anyway? Not fair. So she lets some bricks to fall down. And he gets closer. Not just physically, I mean. She tells him what happened, and he uses his soft voice (it will become a habit, for him, in these situations) to get details. So he can really help her (trough Spencer). He tells her what he will do it and she trust him, but… not 100%. It’s not about Luke, it’s just that she can’t see the light, this time. But he will take his word.

In the last scene, Garcia is back to herself. Reid is going better (it seems so…). She is about to leave, but then Luke arrives. She seems surprised, when she finds him so close. And the talkative blonde can just ask him about Vermont. Stupid question, just to not stay in silent. He follows her, but he has something in mind. Luke shows his gift for her. It’s the first time (if we don’t consider Gideon offer to ask her sorry to be so annoying) that someone makes a gift to her. Her eyes are focused on the kitten. It’s just a Garcia thing.

Luke gets another point. No good. But maybe… maybe she can let him a bit closer. Not too much. But he deserved it. I can so easily imagine this battle inside her. It’s a waste that she can’t see his look, the way he looks at her. Because for sure at this point Luke is already in love with her. Anyway, she takes it from his hand and thanks him even with a big and sweet smile. But he has not finish yet. He asks her how she is. Her voice and face make clear that she hasn’t expect it. He cares too much. This scares her.

Then he tells her his declaration. It’s really stronger. Her reaction is not as he imagined. So ,he keeps talking. Luke is not a talkative person, but with her is always a different situation. He tells her that after what they passed about Reid and the cases… he thought that maybe it opened a slight chink in her fluffy armor. He also brushes her. His tone is sweet and flirty at same time. Penelope tells him that it was luck and timing, anyway, she cries a lot, because is a very sensitive person. He already knew. They smile together and there is something in the air. It’s time for her gift for him. Penelope says that she is glad he is here, but her intention is to not stop her ways on him. But she calls him Luke. And he focuses only on it. He’s so happy and she has to ruin it (it doesn’t work). Penelope tells him to be in the moment.

We have almost nothing until episode 22. They are together working at his desk for no reason in 20th. They are close even in the 21 and Luke watches her while she hugs Spencer… but she doesn’t notice. They also have a call alone, but for once with no tease and flirt.

Until her chocolate thunder comes back. Maybe for catch her attention, maybe for his kind of jealousy, Luke makes one of his silly questions, about her ability to find the source. She turns to Morgan and tells him “Do you see what I have to put up with?”, and he replies to Luke that they will always find a location with her. Then, they go to catch Scratch. Morgan tells her he loves her, he is so proud of her… but also that maybe she can try to be a little friendlier with Luke. And her answer? She rolls her eyes and replies that “He… I… it's complicated. I'll try. I make no promises”. But why is complicated? He is no longer the Newbie. And he is not Derek replacement.

Keep reading here.

All my ramblings

#garvez #criminal minds #cm #penelope garcia #luke alvez #luke x penelope #penelope x luke #garcia x alvez #alvez x garcia #penelope garcia x luke alvez #luke alvez x penelope garcia #analysis #criminal minds evolution #criminal minds reboot

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bingwriterxo · 2 years ago

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My dear bing!! I have taken the liberty of writing this long analysis to you in hope you find it entertaining. I advise you to buckle up because it will be long. First of reader and Tara driving in the car and Tara’s nervous rambling upon just seeing endless road made it a great introductory! It was so intimate and domestic! I was hoping you would have some sort of party where Tara is introduced to readers life I should say. Who she grew up with, the environment and such. The way you described readers house was such a perfect painting in words! I don’t believe it could have been better. I love how upon reader and Tara’s entrance everyone just turned 😂 of course our dear girl tara would think it was a cult. I will say it again..never change tara. I will say after reading so many anons from you and 🇬🇧 I was eager and very ecstatic to meet readers young brothers! As always you do not disappoint! The interaction between Eddie and Nate and Tara made my day! You wrote them exactly how I pictured them! With major differences! Nate has my heart, he is my favorite (don’t mention that to Edmund I don’t want him to think badly of me) reader being her usual self and telling Tara if she needed some breathing room to go to her room and then she preceded to give her directions 😂love our girl! I will say the gif had taken me by surprise and I was a bit worried but as always you come through bing. Tara meeting readers mother was wonderful! Already calling her mother😂 I just adore that! And baby Cordelia! Definitely took me by a wild surprise but it was greatly welcomed! And Tara getting baby fever was the cherry on the cake for me. Readers father is such a vivacious and charming man! I’m a book girl myself so I very much love readers family. ‘Call me dad’ readers dad precede to light up! Now as for connor, or as I call him the scum on the bottom of my shoes. I have nothing nice to say about him, and I take the saying if you have nothing to say that’s polite do not say it. So I shall hold my tongue. What broke me the most was Tara having to use her inhaler. My poor love must have been crying very much for it to trigger her asthma. Readers mother comforting her was such a great idea! And I had a hunch reader was engaged! From the minute you forshadowed it with Connor saying he was no stranger to readers family parties! Reader being the absolute gem to Tara and explaining everything…why can’t everyone be like that!! I will say I hope Connor gets a taste of his own medicine someday! He made me filled with rage! As someone who is not as tall it’s not very much rage but it is still rage nonetheless!! Hope you enjoyed this rant of mine! Your writing was too good I had to write this!I cannot wait for this AU to continue to grow! It has quickly taken over my heart. There is something so uniquely special about reader and Tara. There is no other AU quite like this. As ever bing wishing you a good weekend 🫶🫡- houseofwindsor77

YASSS ANALYSIS

i worked wrote and rewrote the intro 5 times before publishing what i did. it was tricky for me. i didn’t wanna seem too info-dumpy but i also didnt wanna throw them right in. i also had trouble with the imagery b/c, tbh, it is NOT my strong suit

im glad u liked the boys!! there will be much more of them! i just wanted tara to meet them quickly, and, yes! baby cordelia! i kept her a secret till now. i just thought she’d be a fun addition

both of R’s parents were extremely fun to write! there will be more of them as well! i thought having R’s mom comfort tara first before R has the chance to would open up the room for a great relationship between them!

connor is such a little poo head and i hate him! im not sure if he’ll be back. maybe he’ll pop in every once in a while to spice things up? but we’ll see

i love ur analyses always 🫶 i look forward to them after ever chapter!

#ask #museum tara

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literatureloverx · 7 months ago

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i cant stop reading all your stuff on fedya UGH its so good im turning ill

anywhooo i know you said that he would like someone whos always more obedient to him and super gentle and very demure, but would fyodor make any exceptions? falling in love seems like one of the only things that he cant really plan out 100% so what do you think hed do if the person he liked ended up being the complete opposite? or maybe what are the dealbreakers for him?

I’m so glad to hear that (I’m giggling and kicking my feet) ♥️ you’re so sweet!!!

I have mixed your request into a full character analysis on Fyodor and potential darling explanation.

My reason for doing this is that Fyodor is such a deep and multifaceted character that I can’t just go from A to B. I need to explain things in detail so that it all makes sense in the end.

Dealbreaker headcanons are under the text, I hope you’re enjoying it, even though it isn’t exactly what you wanted, but it is incorporated into the post! ♥️

Fyodor’s character & darling analysis

Although I’m fully aware that being 100% objective is practically impossible, I’m obsessed with being as objective as possible. In my understanding of Fyodor’s character (without bias towards any particular personality type, therefore objective in my opinion), the way I wrote his darling made the most logical sense to me.

However, a darling must serve a purpose in order to be relevant. As we all know, Asagiri is not big on romance, which leaves much room for speculation about the type of darling each character would end up with. In my view, the only way for Fyodor to fall in love is through deep genuineness and love towards his true self. Perhaps even a love so immense that it overwhelms and frustrates him.

In my interpretation, it’s not really possible for him to fall in love with the exact opposite type of the ideal darling I depicted. Let me explain why I think that is:

The opposite type of ideal darling would likely be more extroverted, expressive, confident, brazen, and bold. The problem here is that Fyodor’s environment is filled with serenity and peacefulness. He plays the cello and spends time reading. He’d love a darling whose nature he can appreciate. If his darling has similar interests, he’d have the time he needs for himself and for executing his plans.

He is not someone who appreciates a bit of chaos, unlike Dazai, for example. Instead, he is uncomfortable with it. Obviously, his ultimate goal is to ensure harmony and peace for all humanity. His darling should match his mood and personality, making him feel comfortable and loved. There are certainly characters who’d love a TRUE opposite personality darling, but I don’t believe Fyodor to be one of them. He is too old and too dominant a character to like that.

To understand why he wouldn’t fall for just any type of darling, we need to look at the biological anthropology of romantic love: This is a brain system, like the fear or anger system, which can be triggered instantly. The aspects that need to be fulfilled are:

1. The person (in this case, Fyodor) must be ready for it. Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, calls it a “Love Map.” This “Love Map” is an unconscious and conscious list (which I would say, in Fyodor’s case, is more unconscious) of what one looks for in a romantic partner.

2. When the person is ready to fall in love and meets the darling, and the darling fits within the “Love Map,” even a small positive interaction can trigger the brain circuitry, leading to romantic love.

It is more of a biological process than a truly loving and accepting one, as those criteria come into play later, in what is called “Attachment,” the other brain system.

Considering these facts, I carefully created a darling that I think, based on Fyodor’s personality and Asagiri’s explanations, would fit into his potential “Love Map.”

Let’s look at what Asagiri said about Fyodor: When asked what Fyodor would like about his darling, Asagiri said “someone with a good complexion.”

This underlines the outer beauty of his potential lover, as I depicted in my “ideal type” headcanons.

In the BSD guidebooks, BSD characters’ ideal types were listed. For Fyodor, it says “Loves all humanity equally.”

This suggests he has no interest in love at all. He takes a position above human beings, as he is somehow an immortal, dehumanized being.

He has lived for so long and never truly connected because he’s never living in the moment to form those connections. He thinks far ahead and concludes that even if he had a meaningful connection, it wouldn’t last. So there is no point in seeking it out.

He is far superior to anyone anyway. It’s easier for him to be alone. But does he truly like it this way? We don’t know. I imagine it to be draining and very dehumanizing. It must be difficult, even for him.

He wants to save humanity and cleanse them of all their sins. He loves humanity from afar without being an active part of it. Why?

In my interpretation, because it is all he can do. He is not like them. He is so different. He is such a deep character that I’d guess he is afraid of potential feelings, as his love would be as deep as his character. This would hurt once he loses the object of his affection.

Then there is the interview of Asagiri about white day (in western culture Valentines Day). It was an interview where it was discussed what certain characters would buy their darlings on this special day. Asagiri’s answer for Fyodor was: “Probably a whole country.”

This depicts perfectly what a generous but almost uncharacteristically illogical of a romantic partner Fyodor could be. Gifting his darling an entire country? This is insane, but shows how deep his love would be, if he ever loved someone. This underlines my points of him being afraid of emotional vulnerability.

In conclusion, his main drive to do all the things he does is to save and do good. That makes him more of an anti-hero rather than a villain.

He is morally grey. He does horrible things, but for the greater good—not for himself or a mere ideal, but for all humanity.

He is a genius, and his mind was gifted to him by God. How could he not use it for the creations of God?

Fyodor also has an artistic side, as he canonically plays the cello. Art is rarely expressed extrovertedly, even if it depicts violent or passionate deliveries and interpretations. You won’t see art in a disco, bar, or amusement park.

You will see art in museums, theaters, operas, and soulful performances. Someone who doesn’t enjoy those things won’t understand Fyodor’s mentality and won’t be able to challenge him mentally, which I believe to be a huge dealbreaker.

We only see Fyodor in quiet and peaceful places. He is mostly alone. Plus, we know he is very old. He’s been alone for ages. A bubbly darling would pierce through this comfort.

I can imagine him liking it initially because it is amusing, but I can clearly see him choosing a bubbly introverted woman over a bubbly bold woman anytime.

He doesn’t like boldness in women, I imagine, because he himself is very kind, even though his intentions mostly aren’t towards certain individuals.

His way of speaking is very polite, and he has exceptional manners. His darling would need to match that energy because Fyodor sometimes views people as “beneath him,” as petty human beings who can’t control themselves and are manipulated into things they don’t want.

I quote: “Thinking is a crime. Breathing is a crime. Now he has been freed from all of that.”

Another quote: “People honestly, simply, wrongly assume ‘I thought so myself.’ The trust that there is value in the wiretap and the clock he discovered himself, he did not think his thoughts were being manipulated.”

Fyodor doesn’t appear to dislike confident people in general, as he didn’t show any personal negative feelings toward a capable and self-assured individual like Ace. However, he does tend to belittle them in a more detached or ‘objective’ way.

Regarding kindness: Someone who is not polite and kind (in this case, able to control themselves in tough situations because remaining kind and polite in such situations is very difficult) is someone who can’t control themselves at all. This is how I imagine his way of thinking.

In conclusion, his darling needs to be someone who matches his otherworldly nature by matching his energy in general, challenging him mentally, but also grounding him in his own humanity by being loving, understanding, and affectionate.

Dealbreaker headcanons

Fyodor craves stimulating conversations. A partner who can’t match his intellectual prowess would leave him feeling unfulfilled and bored.

He has a deep appreciation for beauty and art. A partner indifferent to the finer things in life would clash with his cultivated tastes.

Fyodor values control and composure. A partner prone to emotional outbursts would disrupt his serene world.

Silence is sacred to him. A partner who can’t appreciate quiet moments would jar his need for peace and reflection.

Fyodor navigates the grey areas of morality. A partner who sees only black and white would struggle to understand his complex nature.

Fyodor yearns for depth. A partner who engages only in trivial talk would fail to captivate his mind.

Grace and elegance appeal to Fyodor. A partner who is physically expressive would be a jarring presence in his refined life.

Fyodor's worldview is tinged with realism. A partner who is naively optimistic would clash with his perspective on life.

He cherishes tranquility. A partner who is loud and boisterous would disrupt his peaceful environment.

Fyodor meticulously plans his every move. A partner who is spontaneous and carefree would be a source of constant frustration.

Strategic thinking is his forte. A partner who acts without thinking would threaten his carefully laid plans.

Fyodor treasures his alone time. A partner who constantly demands his attention and / or his time would suffocate his need for personal space.

If this kind of partner were indeed present in his life, they would eventually grow apart. Fyodor would be aware that this would happen someday because they wouldn't have much in common as partners, leaving only their shared love to hold them together.

#bsd fyodor #bungou stray dogs fyodor #fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #fyodor x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs #fyodor x you #yandere bsd #bsd #yandere fyodor #yandere #bungo stray dogs #bsd analysis #analysis

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billfarrah · 2 years ago

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Why do you think Simon finally agreed to be Wille's secret? What pushed him to make that decision? I have many incoherent thoughts about it... and just wondering what you think because your analysis are always beautiful and on point 😊

Thank you ❤️

Lisa touched upon this in her live and I can’t remember exactly what she said, but I do remember her saying that his decision had an element of “fuck it, who cares, let’s just do this,” due to the events that had transpired over the season, as well as being correlated to Sara’s betrayal and his newfound understanding of Wille’s position. I’m gonna try to break it down into individual points so this stays coherent:

1. Simon finally begins to understand the pressure Wille is under and why he denied the video. Throughout the first 4 episodes, we see Simon asking Wille for space and to leave him alone, and as of episode 4, we see Wille officially accept Simon’s position, and notably this happens right after Simon tells Wille that he can’t accept his.

Wille: You’re the one who can’t accept me, my position, my family.

Simon: No, maybe I can’t.

Here I think it dawns on Simon in a way that he’s lost sight of his empathy for Wille. At the end of season 1, we see Simon heartbroken but still sensitive toward Wille, allowing him to hug him before he leaves for Christmas break. However, things began to change when they get back; Simon is still heartbroken and his anger has started to surface. He still doesn’t understand why Wille denied the video and he doesn’t try to understand. What’s poetic is that he is supposedly trying to do what’s best for himself, but in reality he’s not doing that - he’s running away from his true feelings and his true nature. There are a few moments in the season where Simon sees the pressure Wille is facing - him almost being forced out of Hillerska most notably - but it rly clicks in when Wille shows up at his house and explains his situation. Which leads me to my next point.

2. Simon finally understands his own inability to compromise. When Wille reveals to Simon he’d be willing to give up the crown for him, Simon realizes just how much Wille would sacrifice in order to be with him (because he understands the stakes of what giving up the crown for Wille - letting his entire family down), and he realizes he’d never been willing to do the same. I also think it’s important that Simon heard Marcus say he was willing to wait for Simon to be ready - if Marcus can wait for me, why can’t I wait for Wille? He really started to question what was worth sacrificing. Clearly being apart from Wille wasn’t doing him any good - in fact, it was essentially breaking him. He utterly failed at falling in love with someone else and ended up hurting not only Marcus and Wille in the process, but also himself. His heart and body yearned for him and all he was doing was denying himself. Think back to Wille’s line in season 1: “What if I just want to be with him and not say anything?” Maybe Simon realized that the secret was worth it, as long as he got to be with Wille, because he’d already tried living without him and it made him miserable.

3. Sara’s betrayal. This one cut deep and I think it made Simon question everything he’s ever known about himself and the people in his life. If he can’t even trust Sara, his beloved sister, who the hell can he trust? What is even the point of any of this? I think after everything that went down with Wille and where they were as of episode 6, Simon realized that he could trust Wille, and because of that certainty, he was willing to do whatever it took to keep Wille in his life, and if he had to compromise, then fuck it, he was willing to do so. He loves Wille and wants to be with him; fuck all the rest. His word choice is very important in his speech to Wille; he is no longer referring to himself as a secret, but their relationship, indicating that they are now officially equals and they’re finally in it together.

I hope you like my answer. I still think it’s incoherent and some people may disagree with me, and I’d love to hear everyone’s thoughts on why Simon changed his mind. I personally thought it was a beautiful character progression, rather than a regression. It’s the beauty of Simon finally doing the one thing he refused to do just because he loved Wille so much he’d rather compromise that than be without him, and the beauty of Wille showing him he doesn’t have to, nor does Wille want him to sacrifice it.

#young royals #wilmon #i feel like this sucked

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yoyo-inspace · 2 years ago

Text

So here’s the thing.

The loudest fan discourse regularly exhausts me, but something I’ve found very interesting to see over various social media platforms is that the most vocal supporters of each “team” seem to think that the show is favouring the other side. Plenty of self-proclaimed Team Green who calls the show pro-Black, talking about how they’re making Rhaenyra way too sympathetic, and plenty of Team Black who do the same but for Alicent. I’ve also seen them talk about how the show chooses not to have the characters do certain things that were in the book and they’re usually disappointed their faves (or the ones they hate) are getting painted in a more sympathetic (or less sympathetic) light. I find that thoroughly fascinating, and at the same time I can’t help but ask myself - wasn’t this the point?

HOTD is an adaption. However, it is slightly unique as an adaption in that it is based on an in-universe history accounts. The show-creators’ job is not just to go through the text as it is and pick which account is the most likely and then adapt that - which is what I feel that certain fans have expected them to do. It is to see past that. They’ve said it in several interviews, but their mission is to look at this “historical” text and not only say “there are unreliable narrators with stories that contradict” but also to see it for what it is: history written by men - and by victors, by clergy, by gossipers, by people in power, etc. And to look at the text through that lens and ask themselves: who could the real people behind these descriptions have been? What kind of person could this man or woman actually have been to make historians describe them like this? Was it an exaggeration? Was it a simplification? Was someone trying to villainize or sanatize or make a cautionary tale? Were they trying to set an example? Was it a straight up lie? Was it true but twisted?

Anyone who goes at the text with that kind of analysis is of course going to come away with different interpretations. That’s part of the game. But that’s true for real life as well. We can look at the figures of our history and try to imagine who they were as people. We can get clues through letters and contemporary accounts. But we can never know.

I think that’s what’s caused some book fans to be unhappy. They had their own interpretation of who the characters behind the historical accounts were. And sometimes those characters that they imagined were exactly like the accounts described. They picked an account and deemed that to be the most trustworthy and now they’re upset that the characters they’ve imagined are not the ones being portrayed on screen. However, I don’t see that as a falling with the show. I see it as one of its greatest strengths. I’m not saying it’s above criticism, even criticism of adaptational choices. But I think some of the criticism that is presented as objective, in a way, is instead highly subjective and not necessarily what would have made the best television.

The thing is, I see a lot of people saying that the characters aren’t grey enough. Idk if it’s just me, but I think we’re still stuck in this moralistic thinking when we talk about characters being “grey”, even as it tries to put shades into black and white. What I’m seeing is a tv show that portrays people. And they’re portraying people very well. People who do good things, who love each other, and those people being the same people who also commit heinous acts and hurt each other terribly. I see a show that is making a very good attempt at explaining why people in these situations would act like this - especially women. “I want both sides to be portrayed as equally wrong” - but even in the source material there were glimpses of another story behind. I’m just surprised that so few people who talk so loudly seem to ask themselves “what could have been the purpose of portraying this woman in history as power hungry” and just decided to go with it instead. Not because there haven’t been power-hungry women in history- there definitely has - but because the history writing is specifically what this show wants to examine. Of course they’re going to problematize it. The show has taken that story and made it fundamentally about gender and power structures and generational trauma. If your “grey characters” stop being grey to you the moment they do an act that you see as good or an act you see as bad and that completely flips the switch for you, then we have very different definitions of a so called “grey character”.

All these people (who I know are probably quite a small part of the fanbase) are so vocally upset about characters being given more sympathetic portrayals than they think they “deserve”, or characters turning out to be shittier people due to their circumstances than fans would want, that they have to set it out as their mission to try and ruin it for others who are enjoying it, and that is where I think the real shame is. I suppose I just can’t relate to that way of looking at it. Though fans rewriting the narrative of the show and the text even when it’s presented to us, I suppose is the most predictable and poetically ironic way this could all play out. Life imitates art as it imitates life, and all that.

#hotd #house of the dragon #rhaenyra targaryen #alicent hightower #daemon targaryen #viserys targaryen #otto hightower #and others #don't mind me I'm just rambling #yoyo writes about hotd

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whoree321 · 3 years ago

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Hey, I believe your requests are open, so, could you please write smth were reader and Tech are friends with benefits?

Also, I’m in the same dilemma as you, cause everyone already forgot tbb and I’m still obsessed??? Like, were is everybody excitement about the show, it was gone so fast…

Anyway, thank ya <3

hello friend! this is a delicious request and i am more than happy to oblige! i’m not sure if you wanted like pure angst or like sexy successful fwb but above all else i am a dirty dirty slut for happy endings so i went light angst, heavy fluff, mild smut to get a little of everything lmaooooo. this also got a little out of control and i’m not sorry.

and literally i am suffering so much in this ever increasing drought of bad batch excitement. like i feel like the person at a party when everyone else is tired and wants to leave who’s still just way too hyped and is like “NO WAIT GUYS LETS HAVE MORE SHOTS AND PLAY TRUTH OR DARE COME ON ITLL BE FUN”. i am in absolute agony. but anyways!

a mutually beneficial arrangement (tech x gn!reader)

it was purely sex. just two friends helping each other relieve some stress occasionally. just two friends who happened to have sex with each other. until it wasn’t.

warnings: fwb, mild smut, reader is gender/genital neutral but they are penetrated by tech (amab)

word count: no idea but it’s pretty long

***

In hindsight, it really shouldn’t have shocked you that this was how things played out.

It’s not like you’d ever been friends with benefits with someone before. It’s not like you didn’t know how easily you could develop feelings for people. It’s not like you didn’t know you were maybe just a little too interested in Tech non-platonically before any of this even started.

No, you knew all of those things going into it. You made the conscious decision to be the biggest dumbass in the galaxy.

When Tech had first suggested a friends with benefits situation, it seemed like a much better idea than it actually was. You had been assigned to Clone Force 99 for a few weeks at that point and had already developed fast friendships with all of them (Crosshair even sometimes acknowledged your presence with neutrality and that definitely felt like at least an acquaintanceship). You were closest with Tech, and one tipsy night at 79’s found the two of you making out in a hallway near the bathroom. You could still remember the way his mouth tasted like whiskey as he pressed you up against the wall

He paused his assault on your lips to look at you, breath fanning lightly across your face. You whined at the loss of contact, not noticing in your haze the intensity in his eyes as he studied you, as though if he took in enough of you he would have the answer to an imposssible question. He migrated lower, planting kisses and sucking lightly on your neck until he made his way to your ear.

“Have you ever heard of people being platonic sexual partners?”, he asked low in your ear. You shuddered at the feeling of his breath and the deeper tone to his voice before you answered.

“You mean like friends with benefits?”

“Yes, that is exactly what I mean,” Tech clarified as he moved to once again nibble on the sweet spots of your neck. Had you had a little more sense, you would have warned him not to leave any noticeable marks, lest you suffer the teasing of the rest of the boys.

“I’ve heard of it, I’ve never done it before though. Why?”

“Well, given our current circumstance,” his response was punctuated by his ministrations on your pressure points, “it may be mutually beneficial for us to enter into that type of arrangement.”

You stopped him for a moment, and lifted his face so that you could make eye contact. Tech stood up a little straighter, hands running up and down your sides lightly as he gazed down at you.

“You think that we should be friends with benefits?”

Tech nodded, one hand moving to brush a strand of hair out of your face.

“I believe it would be an advantageous relationship. We could have relations while still maintaining our successful platonicity, thus eliminating the need to alter the dynamic of the squad with the complications of some trivial romance. It would also be physically beneficial. Sexual intercourse has been shown to successfully alleviate stress, as well as…”

He kept going, explaining the health benefits of sex, but it was hard to pay attention to his rambling while you tried to clear your head of the alcohol and the intoxication of his touch and figure out where you stood on his proposition. In that moment, everything he said made total sense. Granted, that part about “trivial romance” stung a little, but you could still fuck him without ruining the squad or your friendship with him, and Maker did you want to fuck him…

Uncharacteristically cutting off his rant, you responded. “I accept your offer. I would love to be friends with benefits with you.”

Tech grinned, a lust forming in his eyes at the new promise of the benefits the night was leading to.

“Splendid”

From that (mind-blowing) night, sex became a very regular thing. A mission went poorly? Frustrated sex. A mission went well? Celebratory sex. The Batch got leave time? Vacation sex. The Batch hadn’t gotten leave time in too long? Cabin fever sex. It really had started out pretty platonically, but after the first few times you could feel yourself falling head over heels for him. You knew you should stop it, Tech would never hold it against you or be upset if you changed your mind. You told yourself again and again that you would just break it off with him, but then his hands and his lips and his body would be on you, and the hungry way he looked at you would knock the air, and any ideas of making him stop, out of you.

In your defense, it wasn’t like you were the one who had suggested it. Tech had to know the likelihood that your “platonic sexual relationship” would only stay platonic for so long. Actually, you were surprised he hadn’t done a little more analysis of the situation. If he had taken into account all of the factors (the rate of failure in friends with benefits situations, each of your levels of emotionality and past relationships, the effects of living and working in close quarters, etc), you can’t imagine he would have thought it was a smart idea. If Tech had crunched the numbers like he normally would, it wouldn’t have produced favorable results. So for him to want to do it anyway, or to not even analyze it beforehand, must mean he had some sort of feelings for you, right?

This was one of the various problem in your current situation. Tech would always do things that were just on the line between “friends” and “more than friends”. He would go out of his way to do little things for you, he would share info and jokes and side comments with you that he never tried to share with brothers, he would blush when you complimented any of his work, he would stand just a little too close to you or let his touch linger just a little too long. He would suggest a sexual relationship that was highly statistically improbable to be successful.

And while Tech offered nothing but mixed signals, you took it a step further and let those mixed signals fester in your brain until you had warped them into one very clear signal: he liked you as more than a friend. You were so sure of it too. Why would he do all of those things if he didn’t like you like that? It’s not even like he treated you like some one night stand when he fucked you. He cared about making you feel good (usually it seemed like he cared more about you getting off than him), he would clean you up after and you always stayed the night together, cuddled and whispering late into the night about nothing and everything.

There was nothing friendly about your intimate nights together, come to think of it. Friends that just fucked would never treat each other so tenderly or lovingly. It’s not that completely unbelievable to think you would accidentally blurt out that you love him. Tech should have expected that.

But it was out there, unfortunately. You had committed the cardinal sin of being friends with benefits and you couldn’t take it back.

Tech’s brutal pace never faltered as he pumped in and out of you, your moans growing louder and louder as you began to approach your peak. He gazed down at you, locking eyes, and the emotion you could feel behind them was overwhelming. You could tell that he was close, with all the experience you had with him you knew his body better than your own, and he brought his hand up to softly caress your cheek.

“You’re so beautiful. I can’t believe I get to see you like this,” he huffed out, brow furrowing as the rhythmic slamming of his hips against you brought him closer and closer to the edge.

At his words, you reached your climax, and as you came undone words of ecstasy slipped from your lips between wails of pleasure.

“Kriff Tech… ah…. Tech..fuck…I love you”

You didn’t even realize it at first, too caught up in the moment, but Tech did. His eyes grew impossibly wide, and he was finishing inside you before either of you could fully process what you had just said.

As you both came down from your high, the gravity of your admission settled between you. Tech pulled out and flopped down next to you wordlessly, and for a few minutes you both just stared at the ceiling in torturous silence. And then he got up and walked to the refresher, not even looking at you once, and you felt like that was all the confirmation you needed that you woefully misinterpreted your entire relationship with him.

You lept out of his bunk, threw your clothes on, and left as silently as possible, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill down your cheeks. At least you could spare yourself the embarrassment of your words in that moment, and both of you could just forget it and move on.

Of course, you knew that pretending it didn’t happen would be impossible. You told him you loved him, and he said nothing. For several minutes. And then hid in the fresher. That was a clear rejection, and while it devastated you, you were still hoping that the two of you could just move on and be friends like you were before the benefits were added.

Apparently to Tech, you had offended him beyond repair. He never spoke to you (unless it was specifically mission oriented), he rarely looked at you or acknowledged your presence, and he positioned himself as far from you as possible at every opportunity. It had been two weeks since your slip up, and he hadn’t even made eye contact with you once.

It was agony. You missed him. You didn’t even really know what it was like to be on this squad without keeping him company while he made repairs or asking him questions about the next place you were going just to hear him talk. You missed making snide jokes with him. You missed admiring the way his goggles magnified his gorgeous caramel eyes.

The other boys noticed the shift very quickly. They had suspected the two of you had some sort of arrangement, and they knew how close you were, so to see it change so abruptly was concerning. Hunter had tried talking to you about it a few times, but you just reassured him that everything was fine and it was nothing he needed to worry about. Wrecker and Crosshair tried to pick up the slack, and started filling in the holes in your routine that Tech used to occupy. Crosshair would sit next to you in the mornings and during briefings, sometimes trying to make little comments in your ear like Tech would. On missions, Wrecker would always aim to pair up with you, and afterwards would try to do something fun like find a sweet treat or rent a good movie.

You appreciated so much what they did for you. But no matter how hard they tried, nothing could take your mind off the wall of ice Tech had built between you. You loved the other boys, but trying to share happy moments with them when all you could think about was how much better it would be with him was becoming unbearable. You didn’t want to leave them, but you couldn’t stay with Tech being so close to you and yet lightyears away.

As you filled out your transfer paperwork, you chuckled wryly to yourself. Even without the “trivial romance”, the squad was still disrupted. In a bittersweet way, it felt good for Tech to be wrong.

***

Tech had really done his best to analyze the evidence and make an informed decision based on his findings. He had been crunching his numbers with you since the day you joined the Batch, after all. Back then, it was the probability of your attraction to each of them. Tech was fascinated with you, and right off the bat he wanted to know his odds- just out of curiosity of course (for the record, they were pretty highly in his favor).

He knew there were pros and cons to the possibility of a relationship with you. First of all, it was technically against regulation for any clone to be involved in a romantic relationship. Second of all, it was likely that such a relationship would have the potential to cause countless rifts and points of weakness among his squad (regardless of the relationship’s success). Then there was also the very possible chance that the relationship wouldn’t work out anyway, leaving both of you hurt and irreparably damaging your friendship. As much as Tech may have wanted you, the costs unfortunately outweighed the benefits.

But then he kissed you at 79’s. And you kissed him back. And there he was, kissing you at 79’s, memorizing the sweetness of your lips on his. And he knew he should stop. He had studied the data and it’s conclusions were not very good, and if he had any sense at all he would stop. But he pulled away and looked at you, took in the flush on your cheeks and the dazed look accompanying your dilated pupils and the swell of your bruised lips. And he couldn’t bring himself to part ways with you. So he offered the closest thing to a relationship he could think of: friends with benefits.

A friends with benefits arrangement would be a more than adequate solution, Tech had decided. He could be physical with you in the proper moments, and then outside of those moments everything would be just as it was before. The squad’s dynamic and mission proficiency would remain consistent, and technically no regulations were being broken since they only specified romantic relationships. Of course, it wasn’t truly what he wanted, but in this arrangement he would get to enjoy you so much more than he currently was.

Unfortunately, he had made a critical oversight. In the dim haze of the club hallway, Tech had only considered how casual sex would compare to a full blown relationship. He didn’t think to analyze it singularly. And he certainly didn’t calculate the logistics of a friends with benefits agreement when one of the friends in question already had romantic feelings for the other friend.

But Tech knew himself. He knew he could have feelings for you and not let them get in the way. He could accept what he was able to have and make peace with what he couldn’t. Casual sex seemed like a good idea when his emotions were the only ones he took into account.

He wasn’t expecting you to fall in love with him.

When you had said it, Tech thought his heart was going to stop right then and there. In the heat of the moment, he couldn’t have imagined more precious words falling from your lips, and instantly it had him spiraling over the edge into ecstasy. But then the moment ended, and you didn’t say anything. He wanted to end the silence, to find out if you really meant it, but his brain was moving too fast to figure out what to say because he really hadn’t considered this would happen. It was naive of him, he supposed, but he really had thought the two of you could have done it without the emotional complications. Part of him, of course, was thrilled, but the other part of him, the logical part, was thrown into absolute chaos at the implications of your statement and what it would mean and all the statistics and probabilities he had calculated and

And you still hadn’t said anything. Tech could see you out of the corner of his eye, face red and chest heaving with emotion. You looked embarassed, regretful, and the realization that maybe you didn’t mean it hit him like a brick to the face. Maybe it was just something that slipped out, something your orgasm-addled mind had conjured up against your will and now you didn’t know how to take it back, didn’t know the right way to tell him you don’t actually love him.

It was too much for him to process at once, and he ran to the refresher in the hopes that he could clear his head and actually think coherently about the situation for a moment. Tech couldn’t have been in there long, maybe a few minutes, just long enough to splash some water on his face, look himself in the eye, and come to the conclusion that he needed to just have a conversation with you instead of playing with hypothetical numbers in his head. But then he came back out and you were gone, and that seemed like all the answer he needed. You didn’t mean it.

That was good, right? You didn’t mean it, and the two of you could keep going the way you had been.

But the ache in Tech’s heart said otherwise. You didn’t love him. He loved you, he knew he did, and he could be ok with pretending he didn’t when he didn’t know how you felt. But he knew now. And it hurt.

It hurt everytime he talked to you, so he stopped talking to you. It hurt everytime he was near you, so he stopped being near you. It hurt everytime he looked at you, so he stopped looking. The squad’s performance hadn’t been altered, so Tech concluded that the awkwardness could be tolerated until your presence didn’t feel so much like a blaster shot to his chest.

But just like pretty much every other choice Tech had made in regards to you, that plan only worked until it backfired horrifically.

***

The Batch were back on Kamino in between missions. Tech had been vaguely aware of Hunter being called in to a meeting of some sort, but he offered his full attention as Hunter stormed back into their room and huffed his way to Tech’s workbench.

“I don’t know what you did, but you need to fix things with Y/N. Now”

At the mention of your name, Tech pretended to return to his work, fiddling with a tool and avoiding eye contact.

“I do not know what you are referring-“

“Like hell you don’t Tech! The two of you haven’t even looked at each other in weeks and now they’ve put in a request to be transferred to another unit, so don’t tell me there’s nothing going on between you.”

Tech shot up, tools abandoned and stool knocked over with the force of his standing.

“They requested a transfer?”

“Yeah, they did. Now, I don’t know what happened, but I know your little silent treatment has been hurting them a lot. I don’t want to see them go, and you don’t either. So go talk to them and fix it, or I’ll have you transferred instead,” Hunter ordered, finger pointed at Tech’s chest. The threat was empty, of course, but it had fallen on deaf ears regardless.

Tech all but sprinted out into the hall, desperate to change your mind before you left them for good. As much as it pained him to be near you, the thought of being without you was somehow so much worse. He reached your quarters and unceremoniously burst in, barely giving the doors enough time to slide open before he was moving past them.

You jumped at his sudden entrance, hand coming up to clutch your chest.

“Maker, Tech you scared me!”

“Please don’t leave”

You stared at him, taking in his appearance for the first time. His chest was heaving, like he’d just run a marathon, and his eyes were frantic and impossibly wide behind his goggles. You didn’t think you’d ever seen him so disheveled, even when you’d slept with him.

You wanted to look away, but you were conscious of the fact that this was the first time you had made eye contact in Maker knows how long and you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

“Tech, I-I can’t stay with the way things are. I’m sorry about what I said, I know it was just supposed to be a friend thing and I shouldn’t have fallen in love with you. I really tried not to, but I did and I ruined everything and you can’t even look at me anymore so how can I-“

Tech took step closer, cutting off your rambling as his brow furrowed.

“You fell in love with me?”

He spoke so quietly, it was barely above a whisper. You nodded, confused at his surprised considering the whole issue was that you told him you loved him and he didn’t feel the same. That was the issue, right?

You could practically see the smoke coming out of his ears as he tried to process what was happening.

“I thought… I thought you didn’t mean it”

Now it was your turn to be confused.

“Why would you think that?”

“Y-you didn’t say anything. You confessed your affections for me while in a compromised state and didn’t say anything else afterwards. Your body language indicated regret and-and you left. I concluded that you said it by accident, and did not actually mean it,” he explained as calmly as he could in his rattled state.

“I left because I told you I loved you and you locked yourself in the fresher! And then you wouldn’t talk to me so I figured you were mad at me because I have feelings for you and you don’t feel the same way!”

Tech’s face broke out in a huge grin, and just as you were about to ask him why he was so happy all of a sudden, he rushed forward and passionately slotted his lips against yours. You gasped into him before immediately reciprocating the kiss, and you tangled your hands in his hair as his fingers desperately clutched your hips. Of all the kisses you had shared with him, none had felt the way this one did. There was an emotion pouring into it, one that had always been on the verge of spilling over but never had before. Eventually you broke apart, and you cursed your lungs for needing air.

He leaned his forehead against yours as you both caught your breath, and broke the silence after a few moments.

“I love you, too. I have for a significant amount of time. When you left that night, I incorrectly assumed you did not share my affections. I avoided you after because I… I was hurt. I apologize for misinterpreting your actions, and for allowing you to think that I was upset with you. I assure you, that could not be further from reality.”

You laughed giddily, bumping his nose with yours as you relished in his confession.

“If you loved me, why did you just want to be friends with benefits?”

Tech blushed and look down, a sheepish look overtaking his features.

“Well, I performed a cost-benefit analysis on engaging in a romantic relationship, and the potential complications were too great. A platonic sexual partnership offered a less risky alternative. Although, I must admit that I failed to properly calculate the possible outcomes of such an agreement between two individuals in our specific situation,” he elaborated.

“We might be the two dumbest people in the galaxy,” you joked with a giggle.

“Technically, it is statistically impossible for that to be true, given-“

You cut him off with another deep kiss, your hands coming to rest on his arms as they kept you in his iron-clad grip. He had never loosened his hold, as though he thought if he let you go, you would disappear.

Abruptly, the kiss ended as Tech pulled back slightly to look at you.

“Does this mean you are no longer transferring out of our squad?”

You grinned.

“That depends. Does this mean we can have a real relationship, not just sex?”

Tech brought one hand to rest on his jaw as he looked upwards and pretended to be deep in thought.

“Well, according to my calculations, we have already experienced nearly all of the possible complications of pursuing a romantic relationship, so I have no objection to enjoying some of the benefits,” he concluded with a playful smile.

You leaned up to kiss him again, pausing just before your lips made contact with his to make a sly comment.

“And we know how good we are at some of those benefits already”

#the bad batch #bad batch #tbb #tbb tech #tech tbb #the bad batch tech #tech the bad batch #tbb tech x reader #tech x reader #the bad batch tech x reader #tech x y/n #tech x you #the bad batch x reader

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itsdanii · 4 years ago

Note

i loved the rejecting and regretting series!! could you do one with akaashi and osamu? thanks again!!

Hey, bub. Thank you so much for requesting. I'm happy that you're loving my works, it makes my heart soft 😭♥️ Here's your request! I hope you have a good day and stay hydrated. Mwah!

Rejecting you and regretting it pt. 5

genre: angst to fluff

warnings: rude behavior (resolved), cursing

a/n: Do read the warnings before you proceed. Warnings have been put there for a reason.

ft. akaashi keiji, osamu miya

Title says it all

Akaashi Keiji

With your grades in literature almost at the brink of destruction, you had to swallow your pride and ask one of your classmates to tutor you

While you're the best in most subject areas, you sucked when it comes to literature

You didn't see the point of studying articles, analyzing literary pieces and using poetic words

But for the sake of graduating, you had to take the subject

But it seemed like the subject hated you just as much as you hated it

And so, one afternoon, you slammed a limited edition book you knew Akaashi, your classmate and your crush, liked on his desk and stared at him with pleading eyes as you begged him to tutor you

At first, he rejected the offer, opting to pat your head before leaving the classroom

But you were persistent

It wasn't long then when he started taking pity on you

All your papers had red marks in them and everytime there was a test, you would stare blankly at your paper and jot down nonsense ideas

At the sight of you in the brink of tears, Akaashi sighed and decided to help, given that you have to focus and not do random stuff during your sessions

And that's how you found yourself in this current situation - hand holding the pen tightly, your eyes focused on the man in front of you instead of the story analysis he's explaining, and your heart beating as if you just finished a 5km run

"Are you even listening?"

You blinked your eyes at him and smiled sheepishly before scratching the back of your head. You knew that a small blush was probably visible on your cheeks now but of course, you had to play it cool.

"Of course," you said with a confident nod. "You were uh, talking about young love."

Akaashi rose an eyebrow at your answer as if challenging you to elaborate.

"The main character was in love with the guy... and the guy doesn't like her? And she-" you paused for a moment and grabbed the book you were reading, eyes scanning between the lines before continuing your probably wrong answer. "She died?"

With a sigh, Akaashi stood up and sat beside you, your elbows pressing against each other as he leaned down to write something on your book.

"Okay, first and foremost, she didn't die. She left. This part here-"

As he continued explaining, you felt yourself getting lost once again. Your eyes scanned over his features, taking notice of how long his lashes were and how flawless his skin was that you were almost tempted to caress it. His scent surrounded you for being too close which tempted you to shut your eyes.

"I like you," you blurted out unconsciously.

The both of you froze as soon as the words escaped your lips, eyes widening and lips parting as you stared at each other with shocked expressions.

Fuck.

Aaashi, who was the first to compose himself, cleared his throat before sitting upright. "Y/n-san, I'm really flattered by your infatuation but you do know that I'm only here to tutor you, right? We agreed to focus. We're supposed to be studying, not flirting with each other."

"I know but..."

"I can't accept your confession, I'm sorry," Akaashi said before sighing. "How about we end this session already? I don't want your mind wandering while I talk here knowing that you're out of focus."

You immediately shook your head no. "It's okay, Keiji. You don't have to like me back, you know? Just let me like you. You can just pretend that nothing happened. I promise I won't do anything that'll make you feel uncomfortable."

Despite your facade, Akaashi knew that you were forcing yourself to act unbothered. It wasn't really hard to figure you out. Like a book, he could read you within seconds and know exactly what you were thinking and how you were feeling, and at this moment, he knew that you were just pretending.

For the sake of not making you feel uncomfortable and guilty, Akaashi nodded before continuing his explanation regarding the story.

Surprisingly, you stayed true to your words. You didn't say anything out of the line nor forced your confession to him. Akaashi admired you for that since most of the girls whom asked him for help from the past were only after his looks and the sake of getting in his pants.

As your session came to an end, you stretched your arms out. You released a breath of relief before smiling at him. "Thank you so much for teaching me, and I'm sorry for taking so much of your time."

You started keeping your things and piling up the books you're going to borrow from the library. Standing up, you gave him a small bow before grabbing your bag. "I'll see you around then?"

Akaashi just nodded and watched as you made your way out of the library, not knowing how hard you were gripping the books you had in your hand.

That night, you cried your eyes out. Sure, at your age, it may seem childish to cry over someone, but this was Akaashi we're talking about.

The Akaashi Keiji.

The one whom you've liked ever since your first year in college. The one you've liked the moment you saw him sleeping inside a nearly empty library, several cups of coffee and littered paper surrounding his table as if he had been studying the whole night. The one who never noticed you but you never failed to notice.

Your Akaashi, or at least in your dreams, he was yours.

You stared at the now empty tub of icecream on your lap and sniffled. Grabbing another roll of tissue, you began to wipe your tears and your runny nose before playing another cliche romance movie to soothe your broken heart.

Your study sessions with Akaashi continued for a couple more weeks but unlike your previous meetings, you weren't as enthusiastic.

You were focused and attentive, but it just wasn't the same. Akaashi noticed how you would try to put a bit of distance between the two of you, how you would avoid looking at him in the eye, and how you avoided touching him.

But what he noticed the most, were your swollen eyes the day after you confessed to him. He knew that there was only a 50% chance that it was because of how you were rejected by him, and yet he felt an immense feeling of regret. The moment he saw you, he realized that he never wanted to see you like that again.

But he didn't know how to approach you. No, you didn't ignore him like the other girls do. You also didn't say any nasty remarks nor talk shit about him.

What you did was pretend as if everything was okay, as if nothing happened. It felt normal... too normal.

And it terrified him.

One time during your break, you slipped a test paper in front of him, a big A+ written on the sheet of paper making Akaashi lift his eyes from the paper towards you.

"You did good," Akashi said with a proud smile.

"Mhm, I guess I did," you said before taking the paper from him. "I wouldn't have gotten this score if it weren't for you though. Thank you."

He shook his head no before leaning back on his chair. "That was all on you. All I did was guide you."

"This might be our last study session."

"What?" Akaashi said as he stared at you with an expression you can't quite decipher.

"I mean... I don't think I need any more help. I feel like I can manage on my own already and I've no one to thank but you." You looked away from him before continuing, "I think it would benefit the two of us if we stop this already. While I'm grateful for you, I don't think that it's good for me anymore. I thought that if I acted like it didn't matter then it wouldn't, but Keiji..."

"No," Akashi said with a shake of his head.

"What do you.."

"I don't want to stop this." Gripping his hair, Akaashi, took in a deep breath before reaching for your hand.

"Y/n, I don't want to go back to how things were before. I don't want to be just your classmate. I'll miss how you would stare off into space and daydream while I'm explaining to you and I'm going to miss how you would make up answers just to prove that you were listening when in fact you weren't. I'm going to miss you, and I know that if we stop this study sessions... I may never get the opportunity to be this close to you again, and I don't like that."

Akaashi squeezed your hand in his and intertwined your fingers. "I like you. I like you so much that it scares me."

"Keiji.. look at me, please," you said softly as you tried to take your hand back.

Feeling your movements, Akaashi tightened his hold on you and shook his head no. "Y/n..."

"I'm not going to leave," you assured him and smiled when he finally let go of your hand.

Akaashi watched as you stood up from your seat and made your way to his side. He was then surprised when you suddenly sat on his lap and wrapped your arms around him.

"Did you really mean what you said?" you asked which made him immediately nod.

"Of course. I really do like you." Akaashi carefully wrapped his arms around your waist, watching for any negative reaction, and pulling you closer when he didn't receive any. "You're sitting on my lap and basically hugging me. Does this mean that you still like me?"

"Of course, Keiji," you said with a smile.

"Then..." Akaashi collected your hair to one side and gently placed his hand on your nape, his eyes traveling down from your eyes to your lips. "Can I kiss you?"

With a simple nod from you, Akaashi pressed his lips against yours.

a/n: yes, you made out in the library. This is Akaashi were talking about and there's no way I wont take the opportunity to make out with him in the library lmao.

Osamu Miya

You were one of the lucky fans of the Miya twins, specifically Osamu's

Why? Because you're Aran Ojiro's sister and that meant that you can freely see your crush any time of the day

The team basically treats you as their own sister

Although it gives you a lot of perks, it also had its disadvantages

Because no matter how much you try hinting your feelings towards a certain Miya, he just won't acknowledge it

In fact, you didn't get along with him

Unlike the rest of the team, Osamu would always pick on you

You actually didn't expect it to happen because you thought that Atsumu was the playful one among them

But boy did Osamu prove you wrong

There weren't any time of the day that you won't pick at each other, spouting remarks here and there until the other gives up

It never went overboard though. You both knew your limits and when to stop

Or at least that's what you thought

Because today, he chose to target the wrong topic

You were currently seated in the middle of the court with the rest of the team. All of you were in the form of a circle with an empty bottle in the middle.

It was Atsumu's idea to play a game of truth or dare before you all go home. According to him, it would be effective on "cooling" off their bodies from the intense practice. Even Kita was forced to participate, thanks to Atsumu's constant whining.

With a wide grin, Atsumu spun the bottle which made most of you take in a deep breath due to the anticipation.

Finally, the bottle stopped. The tip was pointed at you while the other side was pointed towards Atsumu.

"Y/n! How lucky of ya! Truth or dare?" he asked with a wiggle of his brows.

"Truth." You couldn't help but roll your eyes after that, knowing that what's to come will probably be something silly.

Except it wasn't.

"Then... If yer given the chance to date someone from the team, who would it be?" Atsumu asked proudly, giving Osamu a side glance before focusing on you again.

You heard your brother groaning from beside you making you giggle. Placing his arm on top of your head, Aran gave each of the members a glare.

"Hm... I'd probably date 'S-"

Before you could even finish your sentence, Osamu let out a loud chuckle. All eyes snapped to his direction, watching him in confusion.

"Sorry, sorry," Osamu said after composing himself. "Did ya really have to ask that? Of course she'd pick Suna. Haven't ya notice the way she looks at him every practice?"

"Huh?" Suna muttered absentmindedly, his eyes lifting up from his phone towards Osamu.

"Don't even try denying it, y/n. Plus, even if ya try, I know Suna will basically reject ya. I mean, I can't even stand ya. If it were me, I'd reject ya on the spot. Yer annoying and too loud and that thing ya do with yer hand when yer explaining? Super annoying. Ah! And don't ferget the way yer nose scrunches when yer deep in thought," Osamu said without any pause.

Once he was done, he titled his head a bit to the side, trying to peek at your face that was now casted downwards, your hair covering most of your face. "Oh, are ya crying? Did I ruin yer confession?"

To his surprise, there were indeed tears streaming down your cheeks when you lifted your head up. Everyone grew silent, completely shocked at the sight.

"I was going to confess to you, dumbass." With that, you stood up, grabbed your bag and ran out of the gym.

Aran immediately stood up to follow you, but not before throwing a glare to Osamu.

Atsumu, who was the first to break the silence, turned towards his twin. "Okay, I know that I'm dumber among the two of us but that was a real jerk move right there, 'Samu."

Osamu could only stare at the gym doors with shock and regret written on his face.

"You're on the bench until I'm sure that you and y/n-san made up," Kita simply said before standing up. "Game's over. Let's all go home."

The following days, you avoided Osamu like a plague. It even reached the point that you have to eat lunch inside your classroom instead of eating with the team like you usually do.

Even Aran was pissed at Osamu. Aran knew that a playful banter was normal between you and Osamu but never had it ever reached this point.

You were basically crying all night when you arrived home and if not for Aran's patience, you wouldn't have went home in the first place. When you left the gym, your brother found you in a nearby park, your knees up to your chest and your head hidden from view.

He wasn't oblivious about your feelings towards Osamu but he never mentioned about since he wanted you to tell him or any of the members when you're comfortable enough. It was only unfortunate that the moment you felt confident enough to confess, Osamu had to pull that shit on you.

"C'mon, Aran. I need to talk to them," Osamu pleaded as he tried to get pass your brother.

Aran stood firmly infront of your apartment, his arms crossed over his chest and his figure blocking the door. "You really have the audacity to march your way to our apartment after the shit you put my sibling through? What, you got tired of sitting on the bench during matches? Can't impress your fanclub anymore? Go home, Miya."

"I'm sorry, okay? I wanted to apologize to them but they've been avoiding me. This is my last resort." Osamu said and gripped his hair in frustration.

Once he saw a peek of you trying to hide yourself behind a wall, Osamu immediately grabbed the opportunity. "Y/n, I'm sorry! Talk to me, please! I... I don't know what to do anymore. I'm sorry..."

You soften at the pleading voice of Osamu and revealed yourself from behind the wall. Walking over to the door, you placed a hand on Aran's shoulder. "Give us space to talk, please?"

Your brother threw a glance at Osamu and sighed at the determined look on his face. "Alright," he muttered before turning towards you. "Call me if anything happens, alright?"

Upon hearing you hum in agreement, Aran placed a hand on your head to ruffle your hair, chuckling as he heard you whining before he went out.

You invited Osamu inside your apartment, making sure to close the door before settling yourselves on the living room.

"Water?" you asked out of courtesy but Osamu only shook his head no. "Talk then."

Osamu felt an unsettling feeling inside him at your dismissive tone. "I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"I was used to havin' banters with ya that I didn't realize that I was already sayin' too much. I didn't mean to hurt yer feelings, y/n. I know that it may sound ridiculous considerin' how harsh I was to ya but I really didn't mean those words."

You listened attentively to him as he continued to apologize, your tears once again flowing down your cheeks as you remembered everything that happened. "I really like you, 'Samu. I don't even know how or why but I just do and I guess I was hurt, not only because you rejected me but also humiliated me. I don't deserve that," you said and brought your knees up to your chest, clutching the throw blanket as you sobbed.

Osamu was beside you in an instant, his arms enclosing you as he pulled you to his lap. "I know...I know. I'm sorry," he whispered as he rubbed your back soothingly. "I guess I got blinded by jealousy. I thought that ya were going to say Suna's name so I assumed that ya like him."

Wiping your nose with the sleeve of the hoodie you're wearing, you looked up at him with a frown. "Jealousy? I thought you hated me. Why would you even feel jealous?"

"Do I really have to spell it out fer ya?" Seeing you nod, Osamu sighed and pressed your face to his chest in order to hide his flustered cheeks. "I like ya, okay? I always pick on ya because I wanted yer attention. I didn't actually expect ya to fight back but ya did. That's why I was intrigued by ya, and if ya still like m-"

"Yes," you answered without even letting him finish. With your face still buried to his chest, you could hear his heartbeat picking up. You pulled away from the hug and looked up at him, you cheeks still slightly damp from crying.

"Yer not kiddin'?" Osamu asked as he stared at you, his hand reaching up to wipe your cheeks with his thumb.

"I'm not. I'm still a little hurt so you have to make it up to me, but my feelings? They're still here," you answered honestly.

A smile made its way to Osamu's lips upon hearing what you said. Pressing his forehead with yours, he tightened his arms around your waist to hold you closer. "Thank ya fer givin' me another chance, angel."

After making up and stealing kisses here and there, you and Osamu decided to cuddle on the couch, your back against his chest and his arm resting against your waist.

It safe to say that when Aran came back, the most sour expression made its way to his face. It hadn't even been two weeks when he witnessed you literally crying your eyes out and now, he comes back to you sleeping on the couch with the man that made you cry.

"Fuck my life," Aran muttered with a groan.

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated ♥️

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rebeccccccaaa · 4 years ago

Text

TEᑎᔕIOᑎ

_____________________________

ᗩGEᗪ ᑌᑭ!ᑭETEᖇ ᑭᗩᖇKEᖇ ᙭ ᖇEᗩᗪEᖇ

ᔕᑌᗰᗰᗩᖇY: You and Peter have always been very flirty and touchy with each other. You chalked it up to just how he is, not that you minded. But what happens when Peter gets hit with Hydra’s infamous sex pollen and all he seems to be doing is moaning your name.

ᗯᗩᖇᑎIᑎGᔕ: smut of course lol 18+ (virgin kink?, first time!reader, experienced!Peter, etc, unprotected sex cuz i forgot to write that lol be safe though, and a digusting amount of fluff)

ᗩ/ᑎ: (non/dub con as per usual with sex pollen fics) although i tried to make as consensual as possible

ᗯOᖇᗪ ᑕOᑌᑎT: 4.0k (i’m so sorry this is so long lmao)

_________________________________________

“We’re back!” Tony shouted, his voice echoing in the building. They had gone on a mission to infiltrate yet another Hydra base.

Peter was currently sitting and watching television and you were watching from the kitchen making two drinks for you and Peter. You both looked to the team walking in before scurrying beside Bruce and Tony who walked straight into the lab.

“What did you get this time?” you asked excitedly. Sometimes the team brings back really cool things back from missions and in particular the Hydra missions have the coolest things. Unusually, Thor too walked in the lab before you all circled around the table and Tony placed a plant.

He backs away as did Bruce and Thor so after looking at Peter with wide eyes you both also stepped back.

“What is it?” Peter whispered.

“A plant,” Thor said.

“Not shit, Goldilocks. What does it do? You told us to take home, now what?” Tony said.

“Well, Man of Iron, it’s a sex pollen plant.”

“A what?” you gasped.

“Most planets use this as a sort of breeding plant; some species don’t really have the… stamina that Midgardians and Asgardians have.”

As Thor explained this, Tony and Bruce huddle away from the plant moving towards the computer to write down notes and data about what Thor was telling them. You followed pursuit also being intrigued by it.

Unfortunately Peter did not follow and instead moved closer to the plant to take a closer look. The flower was beautiful. The petals were a soft shade of periwinkle and the pollen was yellow almost like gold. The same shade of golden yellow dust swirled around the flower itself. It was hypnotizing. He really wanted to smell it.

Suddenly as Peter got closer just to give it a quick sniff, he could smell an almost overbearing amount of your scent. That delicious scent of vanilla and lavender that you smelled so nicely of. That scent that made Peter want to run his hands through your hair and his nose along your neck.

“One thing you should never do is inhale its pollen, if one does it could heighten their desires into madness.”

Peter looked up with wide eyes knowing he just did something he probably shouldn't have done.

“What desires exactly?” Bruce asked.

“Well, sex.”

Peter started coughing.

“Pete are you ok?” you asked walking up to him.

He looked you in your eyes and his own dilated insanely. You backed away slightly concerned for your friend only for him to take a step closer to you. The lab coated with silence analyzing his behavior since it was so unlike him. Tony got up from sitting on a stool and Thor puffed his chest anticipating his next move; he was certain the boy breathed in the plant’s pollen.

“It smelled just like you,” he whispered close to your face; his hands reaching under your shirt slightly.

The minute he put his hands on you, all three men ran you and Peter. Bruce pulled you behind him while Tony and Thor grabbed Peter dragging him away from you. You felt hot after what Peter had just done; in front of people too. He thrashed in Thor’s and Tony’s grasp, groaning and shouting from them to let him go.

You felt tears brimming your eyes. You did not like Peter like this. He was crying and begging to be with you, which you’ll admit surprised you.

“What’s happening to him?” you asked from behind Banner.

“The boy seems to have inhaled the pollen as I said not to do.”

“Yeah I get that! Why is he crying? Is he hurt?” you asked.

“Not exactly, the pollen will affect his mind and simulate pain as if he were to die, but his body will be perfectly fine.”

“What?” you all said at the same time.

“How do we fix it?” Tony asked.

“Y/n, baby. Please,” Peter practically moaned making everyone kind of uncomfortable.

“Well, the only way I’m aware of is, well, sex. And it seems like Peter desires the young lady,” you eyes widened and you shifted under everyone’s stares.

“No, no way,” Tony said; you were like a daughter to Tony and therefore boys were something he wasn’t too keen on the idea of you having. He still thinks you’re too young even though you’re already a consenting adult.

“Tony, the boy-”

“No, I’m not letting Y/n do that. We’ll find a different cure. Take him to his room and don’t let him out.”

“Tony, are you sure about this?” Bruce asked Tony.

“Yes I’m sure, Banner. There’s no way in hell I’m putting her in that situation. It’s not fair. Now come on, more time talking, less time finding a cure.”

“Technically there’s already a cure,” Thor muttered.

“Go!” Tony pushed him out.

“Is he gonna be ok?” you softly asked, hearing his cries and screams for you as Thor took him to is room.

“He’s gonna be alright, bug,” Tony said, hugging you.

Steve and Nat both walked in the lab after changing out of their clothes concerned with all the screaming they had been hearing.

“What happened?” Nat asked.

“Thor had us bring this plant home for analysis and turns out this shit makes anyone who smells the pollen horny as hell.”

“Really? Come on Tony, we heard the kid crying and screaming. What’s really going on?” Steve didn’t believe him at first.

“He wants to… have sex,” Bruce said shyly.

“Wait really?” Nat asked.

“With who?” Steve hesitantly asked curiously.

Tony and Bruce simply look at you, which you curled into yourself feeling embarrassed.

“Oh no, honey are you ok? Did he do anything?” Nat asked, holding your hand.

“I’m fine, I’m just worried about him.”

“Don’t. We’ll fix this I promise,” Tony said getting to work.

Well now it’s been 8 hours and Peter is still crying and moaning your name. You had been in Nat's room with her, Steve, and Bucky. Sam and Thor had been outside ‘patrolling’ Peter’s room making sure he was as ok as he can be, though it’s been proven that he seems to be in excruciating pain.

Tony and Bruce had been in the lab the entire day, you’d think they made wonderful progress and found a cure by now but no. All they’ve found was normal samples of Peter’s… everything. He was physically perfectly fine.

You were very quiet as they played video games and watched movies. You couldn’t help but feel burdened because you knew you could fix all of this. All you needed to do was go to Peter’s room and let him have his way with you. It’s not like you wouldn’t mind. You and Peter have always had this sort of tension and extra friendly behavior between you guys ever since you met.

To say you hadn’t developed feelings for him would be a huge lie.

“Are you ok?” Nat asked you.

“No, not really.”

“I know you want to help him but it’s for the better. Let Tony and Bruce find a cure.”

“Actually that won’t be happening anytime soon,” Thor said, walking with Sam.

“What happened?” Steve asked.

“They haven’t found anything and although Peter will be physically fine, mentally he could be extremely traumatized by the time they find something, if anything. The pollen mimics physical pain until sexual ‘needs’ are fulfilled by the person they desire most,” Thor looked to you at the end.

“I want to help him,” you said.

“Y/n, that’s not fair to you,” Steve said.

“And it’s not fair to Peter if I don’t help! He didn’t mean to smell the flower. I can't just sit here waiting for nothing to happen when I can go in there and help him!” you argued, “If I don’t, he’ll not only hate you for keeping me away from him but me too for not trying.”

“Don’t be silly, he’d never hate you,” Nat said.

“He will if I’m the reason he’s going to be traumatized for the rest of his life.”

“Come with me,” Nat said, holding your hand.

“Nat,” Steve warned.

“Steve, you and I both know this has to happen. They’re adults,” Nat shot back.

You followed Nat out of the room.

“Are you absolutely sure about this? Your first time should be special-”

“First time?” your eyes widen.

“Y/n, I know you're a virgin.”

“I’m not a virgin,” you mumbled.

“Really? When was your first?” she poked.

“It was- was in, it was high school,” you stuttered.

“With who?”

“... Tommy?” you said after a long moment of silence, trying to come up with a name.

“Tommy?” Nat smirked.

“Yeah, he was in my history class,” you lied.

“Ok we’ll work on that,” she said.

“On what?”

“Lying.”

“Hey, virginity is merely a social construct made by men who think their tiny dicks have the ability to change a woman’s life. It’s gonna be like a five second pump; I’ll be in and out,” Nat laughed at that.

“Ok, fine. Follow me.”

You followed her to Peter’s room where his moans and groans got louder with each step you got closer. Truthfully you were a bit nervous about the situation. Sure you did imagine your first to be extra special in a dim lit room with flowers and with someone you love. Well, now it looks like it’s going to be a dark room with your best friend who’s in the room driven by magic sex pollen, but at least you love him.

You got to the door and Peter instantly knew you were on the other side. His senses overwhelmed him with your scent, your racing heart beat. You exchanged a few words with Nat before she hugged you and left you to go into his room alone.

You slipped inside and immediately met with Peter crawling on the floor to you in nothing but a pair of boxers; a large prominent tent formed where his dick was.

“Y/n, you’re here,” he rubbed your legs and kissed your thighs softly still on the floor at your feet.

“Yeah, I am. I’m here to help you,” you said shakily.

“Oh god, you smell so good,” his hand reached up behind your thighs towards your ass and you panicked.

“Peter wait,” you pulled his hand away.

“What, baby? What’s wrong?” he too panicked.

“Nothing, I just… I’m kinda scared.”

“Of what? Of me?” he stood up and backed away from you.

“No! Not of you. I’ve never… done this, you know?”

“Y/n, why are doing this then- ugh!” he groaned, a wave of need and sexual frustration rushed over him making his body cramp.

“I want to help you,” you grabbed his hand; he pulled his hand back very quickly and retracted his body over to the bed.

“Peter, please let me help you,” you walked over to him.

“No, Y/n. I can’t do that to you.”

You were getting tired of his arguing. You wanted to do this. You rushed to him and took your shirt off hoping that’ll prove a point or something.

“Look, look. I want to help you, Pete. Let me do that,” you cupped his face making him look at you.

His eyes were so dilated nearly black as he looked into your eyes. His hands caressed your bare stomach and lower back making goosebumps rise across your body. He leaned forward running his nose along your neck breathing you in. He used every ounce of control he had in his body to not flip you on the bed rail you into the mattress. He had to be gentle. The idea of you never have been touched shouldn't have turned him on as much as it does.

Your stomach fluttered and you let out a shaky breath. Arousal pooled in your underwear with each move that Peter made. Your hands rested on his shoulders unsure of what to do but thankfully Peter moved your hands in his hair and you gently ran your fingers through his curly brown locks as he kissed and nibbled at your neck.

He moved your bra strap down your shoulder tracing his lips along your collarbone to your shoulder.

“I'm so sorry, baby,” he whispered against your skin.

“It’s ok Pete, I want to help you. Teach me. Teach me how to make you feel good.”

He practically growled picking you up and laying you on his bed. He kissed your stomach and left small bites and purple marks littered across your belly. He looked at you to make sure you were ok before pulling your shorts down your legs and off to the side. He continued to kiss up and down your legs growing harder at the small pants and gasps you made above him.

“I'm gonna give you a little taste, ok darling?” he whispered against your inner thighs.

You nodded and lifted your hips off the bed for Peter to easily take your underwear off. You grew embarrassed at how wet you were. Peter only chuckled before going in a licking along your entrance. You gasped and clenched your thighs together, only to wrap around Peter’s head pulling him closer to you.

This isn’t Peter’s first time eating a girl out so he was obviously quite skilled in bringing you a lot of pleasure from his tongue alone. Now in his twenties, after high school and after his identity was revealed, Peter somewhat tumbled his way into playboy town just like his mentor.

Girls left and right shot their chance to spend a night in the spider boy’s bed. But when Peter met you, oh boy, the kid fell in love. You were this innocent little thing that Peter just wanted to hold and take care of all the time. He couldn’t take his eyes off you. He stopped seeing other women in hopes that one day you’d be out of your mind enough to give him a shot.

Now here you were, laying in his bed like an angel, letting him have his way with you because he was shithead and smelled the flower when he wasn’t supposed to.

Your hips squirmed around, pressure building up in the pit of your stomach. You moaned loudly as you got closer to your oragsm. Your hands went to Peter’s hair making him hum when you tugged on his hair. His vibrations pushed over the edge and you came for the first time that night on Peter’s face.

“God that was hot, baby. Are you ok?” he asked, crawling up your body after discarding his boxers.

“Yeah, that was amazing,” you cupped his face, smiling.

He leaned down and kissed you for the first time ever. His hands roamed your almost naked body except for your bra of which you still had on. Not for long of course. Peter leaned back to sit up pulling you with him so you were now sitting straddling his lap.

You could feel his dick against you and your body shuddered in arousal. His hands wrapped around you to skillfully remove your bra, the last piece of clothing left on you. When he did so you covered yourself in instinct never having been naked in front of anyone before in your life.

“Don’t cover up princess. You’re so beautiful. I wanna see you,” he whispered, cupping his hand under your chin so you could look at him.

“Sorry, it’s- It’s a lot,” you whispered back.

“I know and I’ll try to go slow but if I’m not inside you right now I think I’m gonna pass out,” he moaned.

You looked down in between your bodies to find Peter’s dick big, swollen, and red. You felt bad because you don’t know if it’ll fit inside you and it looks painful.

“Please, Yn,” Peter had tears in eyes begging for you to take the pain away.

“Ok, I’m ready.”

Peter grabbed his cock and lined up to your entrance. You got up and slowly sank down feeling him stretching you out. With how aroused and wet you were after Peter’s mouth you were able to slide all the way down without feeling too much pain.

Peter moaned when he bottomed out and grabbed your face you kiss passionately. You moved slowly up and down and soon all the pain you felt subsided into pleasure and you too started moaning above him.

“You look so fucking good riding me, princess.”

His words made you moan even more embarrassed that everyone can probably hear you and Peter having sex. You bit your lip in hopes to silence the moans as much as possible, but Peter didn’t like that.

“Don’t. I want everyone in this building to know who fucking you this good,” he flipped you over onto you back and started thrusting wildly.

“Let them know what a good little girl you are for daddy. Let them know who’s name you’re gonna be screaming all night.”

“Peter oh god,” you moaned.

“Huh? You like it when I call you a good girl?”

“Yes!”

“My good girl. My little slut,” Peter groaned in your ear.

You were getting insanely close to your climax and Peter’s words only sped up the approach.

“Daddy, I think I’m close,” you whispered, pleasure becoming overwhelming.

“Let go baby. Cum all over my cock,” he said.

Your oragsm ripped through you and you practically screamed into his ear. Pleasure came over you in a huge wave. Your eyes screwed shut and your legs wrapped around Peter’s torso pulling him impossibly close. Your body felt limp under Peter’s and when you opened your eyes Peter's face held worrisome and frustration.

“What’s wrong?” you asked.

“I haven’t came,” his voice trembled.

“It’s ok. We can keep going,” you said tiredly.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he buried his face in your neck.

“You won’t hurt me, Peter. I promise.”

He kissed softly before gently flipping you over and thrusted into furiously.

Six hours later Peter finally came after you did so nine times; and that was before you stopped counting. Your body shook and Peter cleaned you up. He had a small fridge where he kept drinks from time to time and grabbed a water bottle for you to drink.

You breathed heavily after drinking a copious amount of water before laying back down. You turned to check the clock on his bedside and saw that it was around three thirty in the morning. Peter crawled into bed with you, both still naked not caring enough to change. He held you impossibly close, burying his face in your shoulder.

“I’m so sorry. Are you ok?” he mumbled in your skin.

“I mean it was a lot,” you chuckled.

“I swear if it weren’t for that stupid fucking pollen our first time would have been softer and special,” he said, making you look at him with surprise.

“What do you mean?”

“Uh, well, look. Y/n, I really like you and I know that timing is horrible but it’s true. I promise.”

“Well, I like you too,” you smiled at him.

“Really?”

“Yeah!”

“Wow. God, you’re amazing. Thank you for today,” he whispered, cuddling you close.

“Of course. I’d do anything for you.”

You both fell asleep soundly in each other's arms until you both woke up the next day from loud yet muffled voices downstairs. The sun was shining very bright, lighting the whole room up brightly. You stirred around and peeked over Peter’s sleeping body to find that it was around noon already and you two were still in bed.

Peter moved a bit slowly waking up. You turned around to face and watched his beautiful face slowly come to life. His eyes met your eyes and you both smiled before bursting into giggles; hiding your face in his chest.

“We’ll have to get up soon, you know,” he said, making you sigh dramatically.

“Let’s run away, before they make fun of us. They had to have heard, right?” you said, slightly panicked.

Peter just laughed and shook his head. He reached to kiss you, moving your hair off your neck eyes widening.

“Oh man,” he said, thumb rubbing the dark spots he left on you.

“What?” You pushed the sheets off your body feeling intensely sore. You heard Peter gasped as you trotted to a mirror.

Your body was covered in bruises and hickeys that Peter left for literally everyone to see. When you looked in the mirror you yelled Peter’s name completely shocked at the state of your body.

“I can’t believe you!”

“Well, in my opinion I think you looking fucking sexy,” he said coming up behind you.

“I like them,” you said shyly, “But everyone’s gonna see them, no?”

“I’m sorry, it won’t happen next time.”

“Next time?”

“Hell yeah. Only if you want of course,” he chuckled, “Let’s take a shower before we grab some food.”

That was filled with giggles and little touches. Kisses were exchanged practically every minute. You both came out of the shower and Peter so generously lent you a pair of clean boxers and one of his shirts fitting way too big on you. He wore these delicious looking grey sweatpants and a tight fitted black shirt. You practically drooled over him.

“No, later,” he winked.

He grabbed your hand, intertwining your fingers before heading down stairs preparing for what could be an upcoming disaster. You came down stairs meeting everyone appearing to be arguing probably over what you did. Everyone noticed you two and immediately stopped conversing.

Tony sat on a stool, arms crossed and an unamused look staring at you both while everyone else looked down or at each other, anywhere at but you guys.

“Before you say anything, everything that happened is my fault,” Peter pulled you behind him.

Tony simply looked at you and made you feel shy and ashamed somewhat under his gaze. He told you to stay away and you didn’t listen.

“Don’t even look at her. She has nothing to do with this,” he said when Tony shifted his gaze.

“Relax, kid. Look we all talked. Thor told me about the effects the pollen can have mentally and the trauma it can impact when ‘untreated’ for too long. We weren’t going to find a cure anytime soon and I don’t even want to think about the consequences you’d have to pay because I'm a stubborn old man who didn’t like seeing the kids not be kids anymore. You both are adults and I had no right to interfere with that. Besides everyone knows you two are in love.”

“We’re not in love,” Peter mumbled.

“Love is such a strong word,” you mumbled simultaneously.

“Don’t argue with me,” Tony said.

“Sorry,” you both whispered.

“I’m sorry,” he admitted.

“We also agreed that starting today we will be installing soundproofing in both of your rooms and Y/n, maybe put some ice on…” he pointed to your neck but then waved around your whole body because you were pretty beaten up.

“Thanks, guys,” Peter said holding your hand again.

“Congrats on getting the girl finally,” Steve said.

Before you two left you saw Nat wink at you and you smiled running away with Peter most likely to go cuddle and maybe fuck another round if your body feels better. As much as you hate to admit, thank god Peter smelled that fucking plant.

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