#i’m john avery whittaker

[theworstofallpossibleworlds]

This week, Kevin Vibert from The Penumbra Podcast joins the lads for more adventures in Odyssey and into Paul McCusker's "adult" radio drama: Father Gilbert Mysteries.

[lightening816]

B E R N A R D ?????????

[chanellance]

I’m putting John Avery Whittaker on a blacklist for adopting children because he’s on his 3rd attempt and I’m very concerned.

[aiorevelations]

Here’s a one shot fanfiction we just wrote! Hope you guys enjoy! You may want to have some tissues ready!!!

The Unimaginable 

“On a typical day the Whittaker family find their lives turned upside down with some tragic news”

Whit sat comfortably in his favorite easy chair in the living room quietly reading The Terminus Factor, a new and quite popular book that he had recently purchased. It was around 3:30 in the afternoon and Jason and Jana were due to be home from school soon. 

Jenny was in the kitchen breading chicken breasts for the Chicken Parmesan she was making for dinner that evening. She was thankful for these common and even mundane tasks as staying busy helped her to keep her mind off of Jerry. The eldest Whittaker child had been away serving in Vietnam for exactly five months. Since the day he left the entire Whittaker family had been missing him terribly and were constantly worried about his safety. Every day they were reminded that an important part of their family was gone. They missed the way he was always willing to help someone with whatever they needed, his joyful and loving spirit, and how he was the best big brother to Jana and Jason as he was always encouraging them, helping them with their schoolwork, comforting them whenever they were going through a difficult time, serving as a wonderful role model to look up to, and teaching them new and exciting things.

But life had to go on and so they all carried on as best they could and took comfort in the fact that Jerry felt God’s calling to go to Vietnam to serve his country. They also prayed every day for Jerry’s protection as well as for strength to endure this difficult time and excitedly looked forward to the day when he would, at last, come home. 

There was then a knock at the door. Jenny looked up from her work but before she could start making her way to the door Whit called out, “Don’t worry Honey, I’ll get it!”

“Thanks, Dear” Jenny replied.

Whit wondered what he could use to mark his place in the book he was reading. He then spotted Jerry’s postcard on the side table beside his chair, which had arrived a little bit earlier that day. Perfect. It’ll also remind me to show it to Jana and Jason when they get home, Whit thought. He reached for the postcard, placed it on the page he was on, closed the book, and set it on the side table. 

Whit then stood up, walked to the front door, and opened it. There in front of him stood two men in class A uniform, a blank expression on each of their faces. Whit began to feel an impending sense of doom as he knew there was only one reason for this type of visit. A grave expression appeared on his face. 

“Are you John Avery Whittaker?” Sergeant First Class Williamson asked.

“Yes, I'm John Avery Whittaker,” Whit replied solemnly.

 “I’m Sergeant First Class Williamson and this is Chaplain Hardwick. May we enter your home?” 

“Of course.” He held open the door, allowing the two men to enter the residence. After they had stepped inside Whit closed the door and walked to where Chaplain Hardwick and Sergeant Williamson now stood in the living room.

“Is your wife Jenny here?” Sergeant Williamson asked.

“Yes, she is.”

“It would be best if she was here with you,” Sergeant Williamson said.

“Certainly,” Whit replied as calmly as he could. 

Whit walked out of the living room and into the kitchen where Jenny had just finished breading the chicken and was washing her hands at the sink. 

“So who was at the door?” she asked, her gaze directed out the window located above the sink through which you could view the backyard.

“Jenny,” Whit said in a serious tone, causing her to turn around and look directly at him. As soon as she saw the somber look on his face she knew something was seriously wrong.

“John, what’s wrong?” she asked, deep concern in her voice.

“Two men from the state department are here. They want to see us in the living room.”

Jenny stood frozen for a moment. Her gaze fell to the floor as she realized the all but confirmed meaning of their visit. After a few seconds, Jenny took a deep breath and looked up again. 

“All right,” she said hesitantly. Whit walked towards Jenny and took her hand in his. They then made their way to the living room where Sergeant Williamson and Chaplain Hardwick were waiting. 

“I’d think it would be best if you both were seated,” Sergeant Williamson suggested. Whit and Jenny sat down on the couch, anxiously waiting for the men to speak again and praying to God that what they believed to be the reason for this visit wasn’t so. 

Sergeant Williamson then spoke, “Mr. Whittaker, Mrs. Whittaker, the Secretary of the Army has asked me to express his deep regret that your son, Jerry, was killed in action outside Saigon, South Vietnam.”

Whit and Jenny were overcome by unimaginable grief. Tears began to fill Whit’s eyes but he fought them back — wanting to keep his composure in front of the men and most importantly be able to comfort Jenny who had broken down sobbing. “No..no...Jerry...Jerry. My baby….my baby,” she cried. Whit took his wife in his arms and held her as tightly as he could.

Sergeant Williamson continued speaking, though with great difficulty, as he witnessed firsthand the anguish Whit and Jenny were experiencing over the loss of their eldest son. “It happened on a local village woman’s farm. There was a skirmish and Jerry saved the owner’s life by pushing her to the ground to protect her from the gunfire. In doing so, he was hit and mortally wounded. He died later at a nearby base. The Secretary extends his deepest sympathy to you and your family in this tragic loss. A casualty assistance officer will contact you within twenty-four hours,” he paused, pulled out a document and pen from a folder he carried, and placed them out on the coffee table in front of Whit. “Mr. Whittaker, I need you to sign here to confirm that you can be reached at this address and phone number,” he continued, pointing to the signature line.

Whit picked up the pen and signed his signature on the sheet of paper. He then placed the pen back on the coffee table next to the document. “Thank you,” Sergeant Williamson said as he picked up the paper and pen and placed them back into the folder. 

Chaplain Hardwick then spoke, “Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you both and your family during this difficult time. Your son was a hero Mr. and Mrs. Whittaker, but more importantly than that he believed. He knew that death wasn’t the end but rather the beginning of an eternity with the Lord. I hope that you both will find comfort in that.”

“Thank you,” Whit said gravely.

Sergeant Williamson said, “We will leave you both alone now to let you mourn in private.”

He and Chaplain Hardwick walked away towards the front door. Chaplain Hardwick opened the door and stepped outside into the cold autumn air. Just as Sergeant Williamson was about to exit the home he turned toward Jenny and Whit and spoke one final time “Again on behalf of the Secretary please accept the United States Army’s deepest condolences in your loss.” He then left and closed the front door, leaving the grieving parents alone.

Whit, no longer able to hold back his grief, broke down in tears. He and Jenny sat there holding onto each other — crying as they had never had before. 

Throughout their many years of marriage, they had experienced many ups and downs — highs and lows — joys and sorrows. They had expected to experience many more together in the future. But never did they imagine that they would feel the agonizing and heartbreaking pain of losing a child — something which was every parent's worst fear. Yet here they were — their worst nightmare now a reality. It seemed so unfair that someone so young, handsome, and full of life with so much promise — someone who they had loved with their whole hearts would be taken from them so tragically. 

Their minds were filled with thoughts of all the things that Jerry would never be able to accomplish and the dreams he’d never get the chance to make a reality. Never would he be able to attend USC, his Mom and Dad’s alma mater, or be able to visit the Great Wall of China which he had longed to see in person ever since reading about it in a history textbook when he was eight years old. He would never be able to get married and have a wonderful loving family of his own, just like his parents, which was his wish for his sixteenth birthday. Gone from their lives was his sweet voice, beautiful smile, infectious laugh, and kind generous heart. For Jenny and Whit, it felt like someone had taken their hearts and broken them into a million pieces and they couldn’t see how they would ever be whole again. 

Jason had made it back from school and was now walking on the sidewalk in front of the Whittaker home. When he reached the house he walked up the walkway to the front door and opened it. 

“Mom, Dad I’m h—” Jason stopped short as he entered the living room and his eyes came to rest on his parents sitting on the couch, sobbing in each other’s arms. 

Jason instantly began to experience feelings of fear, anger, and sadness. Seeing his parents in such an emotional state he was almost certain about what had taken place but he refused to believe it. It can’t be! No! Nothing can happen to Jerry! 

Hearing their now only surviving son’s voice, Whit and Jenny broke apart and wiped their eyes — trying to compose themselves as best they could. They made their way over to where Jason stood. Jenny crouched down to her son’s eye level and placed her hands tenderly on the sides of his arms. Whit stood just behind Jenny and placed his hands on her shoulders in an attempt to bring her some small bit of comfort as they told Jason the tragic news about his brother. 

“Jason…” Jenny’s voice trailed off and she took a deep breath, “we..your father and I…” tears started running down Jason's cheeks as Jenny continued, “we’re sorry we have to tell you this, but your bro—”

“No!” Jason shouted, cutting Jenny off. “I won’t believe it! Jerry can’t be dead! I prayed every day for him to come back home again! God listens to prayers! He wouldn't let Jerry die!” 

“Jason,” Whit began. “sometimes God doesn't always answ—”

“No! Jerry’s alive! He can’t be dead! He can’t be! You’re lying! You’re lying!” Jason screamed as he broke away from his mother and ran as fast as he could up the stairs to his room. 

“Jason! Jason!” Whit and Jenny both called after him. “Jas—” their voices were abruptly cut off as Jason shut the door to his room, making them no longer audible. He threw himself on his bed and wept. 

“I...I begged you not to go Jerry. I told you to go with Plato. Why didn't you go with him?” Jason cried. “Why did you have to die? Why?” 

“We should have known he would take it this hard,” Jenny said as she paced back and forth in the living room. “He and Jerry are...were so close.” Jenny paused for a moment and continued. “Oh, John...” Jenny cried, “how are we ever going to get through this because right now I can’t see how. He was our baby. We were supposed to protect him and keep him safe.” Whit put his arms around her again and rubbed her back soothingly.

“I know, I know. I feel the same way right now but we have to be strong for Jana and Jason.” 

Jenny nodded and laid her head on Whit’s shoulder. A few moments later they heard the front door open, a sound which announced that Jana had arrived home. They turned and saw their daughter standing on the other side of the living room.

Jana went pale as she saw the grief-stricken expression on her parents’ faces. “It’s Jerry...Isn’t it?” she said, her voice trembling. 

“I’m afraid so, sweetheart” Whit replied as calmly as he could.

  Tears welled up in Jana’s eyes. “I was always against him going to Vietnam,” she began passionately, “I knew something like this would happen. I just knew it! Oh, why did Jerry…have to be so stubborn!” Jana looked at the ground as tears began to cascade down her face — images of all the moments she and Jerry had shared over the years flashing through her mind. Emotions over her brother’s death overwhelmed her. “Why...why? I just don’t...understand!” Jana sobbed as she ran to her parents and threw her arms around them. Whit and Jenny wrapped their arms around her and held her close. For a while the three of them just stood there, holding onto each other — no one willing to let go as they had just been reminded how quickly and unexpectedly someone you love can be taken from you.

In that moment it was hard to imagine how they would move on, much less how they would ever be happy again. But by relying on their faith and each other in time they would heal. Still, with every milestone that the family experienced, such as Jana’s wedding and Jason’s graduation, their minds would go back to Jerry — remembering that fateful autumn day in November when he was taken from them too soon and wishing that he could be there sharing those special moments with them. Yet, the memories they had made with Jerry, the love that they had shared as a family, and the joy that he had brought to their lives were things the Whittaker family would always treasure in their hearts.  

[asterdeer]

Chapters: 4/4 Fandom: Adventures in Odyssey Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Richard Maxwell/Jason Whittaker, (only background tho), Richard Maxwell & John Avery Whittaker Characters: Richard Maxwell, John Avery Whittaker, Connie Kendall Additional Tags: Father's Day, it's just a lot of internal conflict, as with every richard fic i've ever written or considered, why is Plot What Plot a porn term when it describes everything i've ever ficced before Series: Part 3 of I Want To Make It Up To You Summary:

It's almost Father's Day. Richard's father is dead to him, but Whit... exists. What's the Father's Day protocol for "you're not my dad and I don't think of you as my dad but you've saved my life in more ways than I deserve and you're the only man I'd ever trust like a father, plus I'm dating your son, so, I don't know, MAYBE"?

Hallmark fails the common man again.

[autisticspecialeducator]

I'm very tired and a bit sad, so to cheer myself up, I'm going to make some queer hewdcanons for, wait for it, the Adventures in Odyssey characters. Focus on the Family is an extremely homophobic organization and while their show gave me a lot of comfort as a child, they're also a pretty big culprit in my internalized crap.

So we spite them! Everyone in Odyssey is queer and no I will not be taking criticism.

1. Eugene Meltzner is so freaking bisexual. He's also probs not super bothered about pronouns and just uses all of them. His wife, Katrina, is a dark academia queer and is non-binary. They uses they/she pronouns with people she's comfortable with.

2. Y'all know Connie Kendall is pan from everything about her. She's super flighty and awkward about it too. She is also trans.

3. John Avery Whittaker is panromantic ace. He and Jack Allen were boyfriends for a bit, but decided it was better to be friends. He hasn't dated anyone since Jenny died. Jenny is a pan trans woman and is super open about it.

4. The Allens? Chaotic bisexuals, a la Mermista and Seahawk. They own an antique shop for goodness' sake. They're both SUPER gender non-conforming. Jack wears dresses, jewelry, and makeup all the time, and Joanne has her hair cut super short and wears tweed jackets and suits.

5. Tom Riley is a cottagecore transmasc enby. His wife is pan, and definitely dated Joanne at some point.

6. Jason Whittaker has SO MUCH BISEXUAL ENERGY COME ON GUYS

7. Mandy and Liz get married. Mandy is a lesbian with a hell of a comp-het complex, and Liz doesn't do labels. Mandy writes books about queer characters and Liz is a social media personality.

8. Jared is a cryptidcore bisexual gray-ro. Dwayne is demi, and had only really liked Jared. They have an on-again-off-again relationship before getting married and opening an indie comic book store.

9. Buck? Trans man and gay. After Eugene and Katrina adopt him, he gets way more comfortable in his queerness.

10. Robin is a jock lesbian. You can tell from everything about her.

11. Bernard Walton doesn't do labels. He just loves his non-binary spouse, Maud. They're both aromatic and have a QPR.

12. Don't even get me started on the Barkley family. They're the queerest family, the one that conservatives are afraid of. Pastor Barkley is a trans man and is open about it from the pulpit. He's very intentional about reaching out to queer youth and he's good at being discreet if they need it. Absolutely DEVASTATES queerphobes. Mrs. Barkley? Bi. A little more shy about it, but will discuss. Donna and Jimmy? Both gay. Jimmy has said he would marry a boy since he was little.

I've missed a ton of characters but feel free to add more!

[astudyinimagination]

Tagged by @thirddoctor​

Rules: Name ten favorite characters from ten different things (books, tv, film, etc)

I CAN ONLY NAME ONE FOR EACH????

Twelfth Doctor, Doctor Who

Mara Jade, Star Wars

Zuko, Avatar

Fran Fine, The Nanny

Tony Stark, MCU

Mira Nova, Buzz Lightyear of Star Command

Gandalf, LotR

Data, TNG

Douglas Richardson, Cabin Pressure

Richard Maxwell, Adventures in Odyssey

...yeah, we’re gonna go with that. Not included on this list are Clara Oswald, Luke Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker, Padme Amidala, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Niles, Natasha Romanoff, Warp Darkmatter, Geordi La Forge, Martin Crieff, Carolyn Knapp-Shappey, John Avery Whittaker, Dr. Regis Blackgaard, and probably some others I’m forgetting. xP

Again, leaving this free for anybody to have fun with it!

[onlyfroaskingcmcqusetions1]

Eugene headcanon 4 @tunameltsner

Could you have Asperger's, is undiagnosed because of his being in the foster care system in one of his Sim is repeatedly wiping your glass part of the reason we never really see it in the cartoon version or he was going on in the background is because he tends to do it but no one is looking. Another one of his sins is clicking away at keyboard even if it's not finished do you like the sound of a good cookie keyboard and sometimes you can be king typing away on his laptop to write his journal just so we can hear the sound of the click. Also, I had cannon that Eugene as smart as he is as issues sometimes talking to people, so for example if someone new comes into within that he doesn't know or they would or no one is Odyssey knows he will sometimes I'm not going to say hi but he might busy himself so he's not really hiding so he's not rude but he's not really in the public so he's not having to deal with me. Also, I have a headcanon that may be part of the reason he does so well in college and part of the reason they suggested he go work with Whittaker because I think at some point in time John Avery Whittaker decided to run a special needs program in Odyssey it's never mentioned, because they don't want to do my guess is he did it under the table so the parents of special-needs kids in Aditi can receive assistance without being labeled as receiving the system just in case they're a little skittish about it also, I think that part of the reason Eugene gets to continue to be held even though he is above the age of what what is looking for in these helping people IE mainly trying to help you children of God oh, I think Eugene gets more help because he's undiagnosed, I think that they know Daddy autistic he knows and the college note but he's not diagnosed officially so, they can't do anything about it why would a person can use to help and support him in all he does. Also, I have a head pain in the tummy Kindle while not on the autism spectrum he might have I don't know what but it's something time and she can tell that Eugene is different. Also, as far as passages goes I want to disagree with this I'm going to say this now and if somebody attacked me for it please don't if somebody wants to leave a, that's fine be nice though I say that Tom Riley son Timothy and Alice they got into some drugs yes it's a Christian Camp it's a Christian show but at the same time there have been mention of drug use in the show so my thought is that Timothy and Alex got hold of some jokes with some of the rowdy kids at camp and the both of them were having a mass hallucination I eat going and seeing the Unseen one, and going into that weird realm of there I don't think I actually left or even where the kid was looking, I think the two of them did some mushrooms Eugene has Asperger's,

[too-wonderful-to-realize]

Y’all.... I....

I could not have made this up, I don’t think any of us could have invented this headline.

I can’t even attempt to analyze this.

All I can say: reading a legitimate discussion about the political views of John Avery Whittaker in the Year of our Lord 2019 is the most out-of-body Christian millennial experience I think I’ve ever had. I’m reeling. WHAT.

[theworstofallpossibleworlds]

I dunno...seems like that number might be worth a dial...

[lightening816]

Baby Blackgaard

This is an Adventures in Odyssey story, inspired by the episode ‘A Name, Not a Number’, in which Agent Tasha Forbes mentions a possible granddaughter of Dr. Regis Blackgaard’s. Though it is speculated that this was simply a cover, this story is what things might’ve been like if he had one. Special thanks to @livehorses for coming up with the title, and to the Odyssey fandom for welcoming me.

…

Chapter 1

“…This was absolutely my fault, sir. I cannot express enough my apologies for this blunder. I’ll work towards making this up to you somehow. I’ll also keep you informed on all happenings with Whittaker, Riley, and the Fillmore Center, as requested.”

- Phillip Glossman

P.S. Congratulations on your new arrival.

Dr. Regis Blackgaard was not a happy man, particularly as of late.

He especially felt it the night he received a response to his angry letter to a Councilman Phillip Glossman. This whole week had been a rollercoaster of sorts, even for the tall, angular fellow sitting in his arm chair in his carefully arranged office at the RBG Foundation. Another business of his, the Webster Development Firm, had come so close to purchasing the Fillmore Recreation Center, an old establishment in a very ordinary town in Middle America, Odyssey by name. Councilman Glossman, a sniveling weasel in a sly fox’s clothing, insisted to his Boss that the Center was as good as his, especially after the demise of its most adamant advocate, Jenny Whittaker, a fiery redhead that, to Blackgaard and Phillip, cared too much for morality. He remembered the phone call Glossman had made just after her collapse in City Hall. Both men were excited in their own ways, and though the council waited a month to make a move out of respect for Jenny, he assured Blackgaard that all was well.

The Fillmore Recreation Center would’ve been his if a certain mustachioed inventor hadn’t interfered. Jenny’s pious husband, John Avery Whittaker, was hardly any better than her. He took it upon himself to acquire the Center via his own business, the Universal Press Foundation, and the support he received from City Council Chairman Tom Riley did anything, but help.

Blackgaard was less than pleased and made sure to make his disappointment in Glossman evident as soon as he found out. It seemed as if ever since he forced the crooked fellow to choose between Odyssey or prison for his own crimes, the former stock broker started out frustrating and just got worse. Blackgaard knew that Phillip would have to do a proper job on a future task, lest the doctor pull the strings necessary to send him away, and acquire a more competent henchman.

Regis fancied himself a no-nonsense businessman, with his finely pressed three-piece suit, long sleek coat that currently hung on its coat rack by the front door, and his finely combed black and white hair. Normally a refined gentleman with a talent for causing chaos, he currently felt a strong desire to go to Odyssey and yell until the Glossman cowered in a corner and groveled for mercy. Blackgaard smirked at the thought; perhaps he would next time he dropped in.

To keep himself calm, he looked about him. His office was one he was quite proud of. His dark oak bookcase and desk felt smooth to the touch and boasted nonfiction books, gold paperweights and the latest phone and computer. If one were to walk across his soft carpet, they’d find a painting of a babbling brook flowing through a waterfall that would eventually find its way back to where it started. He looked upon the never ending cycle from his desk and felt calm again. “Regis, you must learn patience. You have the brilliance and a capability for greatness, but don’t be afraid to step back and reflect. Something useful will turn up soon. I’m sure of it…” so said the late Professor M. Every now and then in the stillness of his office, Regis could hear his voice in his head, urging quick thinking sometimes, and pauses to reflect at others. But soon enough, images of a discontent mentor in a wheelchair, mourning lost opportunities clouded the businessman’s mind, and he’d soon enough disregard Professor M once more.

Regis would not deny his brilliance, but he also wouldn’t deny his teacher’s own failures. Blackgaard frowned, and soon enough, he felt angry again. He was determined to succeed in the quest they both started, and certain Odyssian individuals were getting in the way. They’d have to be dealt with soon, he thought. Perhaps if he thought about something else…

In the midst of his thinking, he heard a tiny mewling coming from the floor. He looked down at the sight of a Persian kitten nuzzling his right leg. “Ah yes,” he thought. “Come here, little Sasha. It seems I am in need of comfort tonight,” he cooed as he scooped up the little feline. In Blackgaard’s opinion, a small, three month old cat as a birthday present had been the best idea dear old Mother had, had in years. Regis recalled his initial reluctance at owning a pet, but the kitten’s soft fur and innocent nuzzles had seem to work wonders on the doctor’s temper. Though initially wary, Regis Blackgaard changed his tune over night and now, Sasha was the closest thing to joy he had. Blackgaard saw most people as two types: himself, and everyone else. Now that it had been a month since acquiring her, Sasha now felt the same; there was Daddy, and then there was everyone else. Regis sat back down in his chair, as he ran his fingers through her fur. “Well, my dear, we’ve hit a bump in the road it seems. We must work very hard to acquire my Fillmore Center, mustn’t we?”

Sasha mewed. “True, Glossman is a dolt. I’m afraid I’ll have to keep him in that wretched little town for the time being. That and a little arm-twisting will help.” Already her meek purring made him feel better. Finally at ease again, he blinked. “That reminds me,” he thought aloud. Reaching over for a manila folder on his desk, he placed Glossman’s letter inside, but pulled out another. This one he studied intently. He certainly knew what it held, but felt it in him to read it again, for as many times as he thought necessary.

He opened the letter and said aloud, “here, Sasha, listen to this.”

My darling Regis,

I’m writing this letter in urgency, given the events that have occurred since our last letters. Thank you again very much so for your assistance with the surgery. My hip has healed itself quite nicely since then. I currently have £50 saved through my blanket sales. I just recently sold one I was inspired to make after finding your old blanket in storage. I can still remember you as a toddler, stomping around the house looking for your blanket. Your days never seemed complete without it. I have sent this initial earning to you with this letter, and will send more as it comes. I have been crocheting constantly lately and now have plenty of shawls, blankets, and ponchos I can sell, so hopefully you shall have more of your reimbursement soon.

I must also report an update on our Reggie and Lara. I am happy to announce that we’ve added a new member to our family. You are at long last a grandfather. I know you had mentioned a preference for a grandson, but we have been nonetheless blessed with a beautiful little girl. Her name is Nina Marie Blackgaard. Mother and child are finally home recovering, and I am doing what I can to help them. I know you’ve been so busy lately with matters of business, but I hope you’ll find time in your schedule to see her. Nina needs to see her grandfather. Edwin has already dropped by to see her, and we are all very much in love. He is still rather sore about the arguments you two had last year, but as your Mother, it would mean so much to me to have both of my boys under one roof, and set differences aside for now; not just for my sake, but for the sake of the baby. Please consider it.

I’ve included a photo of her. She looks just like you.

All my love,

Mumzy

Regis had looked over this letter many times. On one hand, his Mother mentioning his less-than-graceful years as a small boy certainly made him glad that no one, save Sasha, heard of the affinity his two year old self had towards his favorite blanket. He looked away in embarrassment and mild resentment towards Ms. Yvette Blackgaard. On the other hand, she was right about certain things. He did recall mentioning his desire for a grandson; someone who would carry on the Blackgaard name to the next generation, should Regis’s grand plan fail. Instead, he’d been given a granddaughter, one who would typically lose her name upon marriage. So much for living on that way. Still, he couldn’t help but look at the tiny baby in the photo his Mother mentioned.

He’d looked at it multiple times at this point, yet each time, it felt surreal. Laying in the cradle of Lara’s arms was a tiny baby wrapped in pink. Her hair was very much like his and Edwin’s upon their birth: thick, dark, and covering her whole head. Her nose and forehead even looked like his and Edwin’s, with the former showing a tiny point that would likely growing more angular in the years to come.

Regis could at least take comfort knowing that she had the decency to come out looking like a Blackgaard.

The more he looked at her, the more he felt…fondness perhaps. Yes, fondness, he reasoned. The scheming doctor had similar feelings towards his Mother, and the departed lover of his who’d made him a father in the first place. This was different, however. He had expertise on children (he glanced over at his PHD in Child Psychology), but he didn’t particularly like them very much. Yet, he genuinely felt alright about this one. Familial ties, he supposed…

He returned the letter to his manila folder, which he placed into a nearby briefcase. “After this troubling week, a getaway to my grandchild is just what we need, Sasha.” He gently put the annoyed kitten into her kennel and stroked her head with his finger one last time before putting on his coat. “Why don’t we retire for the night, hmm? We have an early morning flight to catch…”

[aktaiononderdersterren-blog]

@seanotturom I'm in an airport rn so the formatting might be a little off since its on mobile.

I'm realizing theres a reason I'm not a math major hah

2. Do you have freckles?

Yeah! its weird because the majority of my freckles aren't on my face, they're mostly on my arms and shoulders.

3. Can you whistle?

Everything from a dog whistle to Chim Chim Cheree, I'm very proud.

5. Whats your favourite colour?

Midnight blue, then blue, then black.

7. Whats the temperature right now?

I think its like 33 degrees, its that really uncomfortable midpoint between Winter and Spring.

11. What is your eye color?

Hazel! I'm really starting to like them

13. Do you sing in the shower?

Absolutely, right now showers are for practicing the lyrics to Malhari.

17. Last person you cried in front of?

One of the guys from the last ask meme, I had a Crap day and he helped.

19. What did you have for lunch?

A coconut almond latte with a quad shot.

23. What time do you normally go to bed?

Usually somewhere between 11-1, that's pretty good for me.

29. Post a gif of what you're currently feeling right now.

My data isnt fast enough to load gifs right now, and honestly mood.

31. Dogs or cats?

Dogs, cats are nice but their tongues are so scratchy. Also Huskies are amazing.

37. Can you curl your tongue?

Agh, I wish I could, it looks so cool

41. Have you ever caught a butterfly?

I dont think so? I think ive only ever caught lightning bugs.

43. Do you have strange dreams?

I really dont know, unfortunately the only dreams I can remember are nightmares and fever dreams.

47. If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want the preformer to be?

Hmm, thats tough. I'd probably say the cast of the Greatest Showman, itd be so cool to see it as a live performance!

53. Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents?

Pumpkins, definitely.

59. Coffee or tea?

Depends on the situation, teas usually for times when I need focus or need to bring my heartrate down. And coffee just for everything else.

61. What is your Sexuality?

I am incredibly bi, everyone is just super attractive

67. Are you a virgin?

Avert your eyes Rex,

No.

71. Whats the next movie you want to see in theatres?

INFINITY WAR I'm super psyched, I'm apart of a group thats going as the Avengers, and we've got avout 28 people now.

73. What is your favourite quote right now?

"The best is yet to come." - John Avery Whittaker.

79. Been on a comouter for 5 hours straight?

Yepp, the day I bought Skyrim.

83. Do you sleep with your bedroom door open or closed?

Closed, I dont trust my dormmates THAT much.

89. Tell me about a dream you had and what happened.

The one that first comes to mind is this recurring dream I have when get a fever. Theres not much I remember, but I'm in the middle of this dark, expansive city under a smoggy, rust red sky. Theres only one actual building, at the city's center, everything else is just this intricate spider-web of rusted pipes and smokestacks, crawling with these weird rats, with oily-matted fur, red eyes, and yellow teeth, theyre terrifying. The building at the center, ive only ever seen from the inside, and its this bright white domed room with polished walls and steps leading up to this throne. Even though its so bright and well lit, I akways feel more uneasy in the room then outside in the city. The dream ends when I look at the figure on the throne, I can never make out what they look like. Its weird.

Thanks for the asks! :D

[asterdeer]

Chapters: 2/4 
Fandom: Adventures in Odyssey
 Rating: General Audiences 
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
 Relationships: Richard Maxwell/Jason Whittaker, (only background tho)
 Characters: Richard Maxwell, John Avery Whittaker, Connie Kendall
 Additional Tags: Father’s Day, it’s just a lot of internal conflict, as with every richard fic i’ve ever written or considered, why is Plot What Plot a porn term when it describes everything i’ve ever ficced before
 Series: Part 3 of I Want To Make It Up To You Summary: It’s almost Father’s Day. Richard’s father is dead to him, but Whit… exists. What’s the Father’s Day protocol for “you’re not my dad and I don’t think of you as my dad but you’ve saved my life in more ways than I deserve and you’re the only man I’d ever trust like a father, plus I’m dating your son, so, I don’t know, MAYBE”? Hallmark fails the common man again.

[theodyssian]

The Ties that...? Part 1: Family

I admit: the first time that I tried to listen to the album The Ties that Bind, I couldn’t make it through. However, I decided to give the saga a re-listen with the intent of writing about why it bothered me so much. The Ties that Bind explores “God’s design for family.” On paper, that sounds good, but the series is dealing with loaded political topics like family, gender, and whether Christians should tolerate people and families of all kinds.

I often disagree with Whit on moral and biblical issues, but I disagree with everyone in this saga. Having listened to the entire saga now, I think the problem starts in the writing, the way they presented the topic, not just the topic itself. The writers choose to tackle really complicated issues, and they did so at the expense of the story. They spent a lot of time explaining the characters’ worldview. There were many instances where two or more characters would just be sitting there, sharing their opinions or explaining why a topic is important. For example, in The Ties that Bind, Camilla at one point idolizes Buck’s life without a family. In the past, if AIO wanted a kid like Camilla to learn the importance of family, they would let her learn from experience. In this series? Yep, you guessed it, they talked about it. Of course, “importance of family” is only part of theme in this particular series. They are trying to... well, that’s where it gets complicated. They are trying to explain why Christians shouldn’t be tolerant - well, no, because, of course, they should accept others, but also... God’s design and this and that. Thus, leading to all the explanations. All the while being vague and never directly saying what they mean.

 MISS ADELAIDE: Mr Whittaker, should we stop being evasive and simply say what we mean?

JOHN AVERY WHITTAKER: Isn’t that what we have been doing?

To answer that question, John Avery, no, you aren’t saying what you mean.

For one thing, the show refuses to use the word “gay” or “homosexual.” This is either because the writers feared parents getting upset by exposing their kids to even the word or they feared getting people upset by being so specific and homophobic. Probably the later, but if you can’t talk about a subject, why even try to write about it?

The closest the show gets to talking about homosexuality is referencing that the characters on a TV show being filmed in Hangman’s Hollow has two moms.  This sparks a debate in the Parker family, but even there, the two mom part is mostly glossed over. Everything about the TV family is confusing to the Parker kids, like them having a step sister and a half sister.

The show references non-traditional families a few times.

BUCK: Most of them came from mixed-up homes

KATRINA: Mixed up?

BUCK: You know, where there was a mother but not a father or a step parent who didn’t like the kids very much or kids who didn’t like their step parents. Mixed-up and messed-up we used to say.

At the end of the episode, Chris adds to the commentary: “[Buck[ encountered a lot of kids that didn’t seem to understand what a family should be. That’s one of many things that can go wrong when we sidestep God’s design for us. [...] When we stop behaving the way God wants us to, painful things can happen.”

Oh. So this isn’t so much about gay marriage and more about any families who do not have a two-parent homes? What does this mean in relationship to the “Let’s Get Together Festival?” If they don’t have two parents who are married to each other, they shouldn’t celebrate their family?

That doesn’t sound right even by conservative standards. Step families may be formed after one or two of the biological parents dies. Single parents may have had their spouse leave them in ways they couldn’t control. Grandparents may have custody of their grandkids for a variety of reasons. Or simple that people make mistakes... but the Bible promotes forgiveness and healing not permanent brokenness. Added to the confusion is the fact that AIO supports foster and adopted families. Maybe it’s not confusing as much as it is conflicting. Foster and adopted homes are a type of blended family. Step families are also blended families. Those families are formed by a group of people who are not biologically related have to learn how to be a family. Yet, at the end of one of the episodes, Chris says that family can’t be “whatever people want them to be.” Are you saying that some families aren’t families? Or is this one of those times that you are talking about gay marriage without actually talking about it?

CAMILLA: I’m so confused.

Me too, Camilla, and I’m nearly 20 years older than you.

Of course, it’s not a child’s fault if their birth family cannot take care of them, and fostering/adoption allows them a chance to have a family. But it’s also not a child’s fault if they live in a single parent home or if they have a step parent or if they live with a grandparent or uncle or if they have two moms. And none of the main characters in Odyssey would say it is their fault or that it makes it unworthy, but The Ties that Bind does make it seem like they should be excluded in some way, that their family shouldn’t be celebrated and even so far that, to borrow Whit’s example, like a fountain pen being used as a nail, their family is broken in a way that can never be repaired. 

The reason I say the narrative implies they should be excluded is because... well, that’s the opposite of included and kids from non-traditional families are never addressed otherwise. Non-traditional families are discussed theoretically as sad and complicated, but kids from these homes aren’t given a voice to say anything positive. The point the show was trying to make might have worked if they started with marriage. Even if I disagree with the conclusion, I can understand the logic of not wanting to support a festival that seems to encourage things you disagree with, like homosexuality or divorce. That puts the focus on the adults, not the kids. Kids should celebrate the families they have. Adults should think about their choices. That much at least makes sense. The show did bring up marriage, but they didn’t discuss the meaning of it until 7/8 way through the sage, AFTER the discussion on inclusivity and AFTER the discussion on family and AFTER the discussion on gender. It was presented too late to tie in properly with the debate against the “Let’s Get Together Festival.”

That said, the conversation between Matthew and his dad in episode 12 about marriage is one of the better discussions in the series. It has a point as to what marriage is or should be, but it didn’t come across as judgemental towards different families.

David: The good news is that God can take our worst decisions, even the worst circumstances, and turn them around.

Matthew: Don’t you mean damage control?

David: Maybe it’s better to call it redemption.

Well, that needed to be said at least.

[tilliwriteapine]

Salvation, Part 5

(Super long, super angsty. My specialty!)

It’s been three years since Richard Maxwell was last in the town of Odyssey. But this visit is a necessity. Richard has not seen John Avery Whittaker in a very long time. It is time to remedy that.

It had been a long night. Richard had eventually told Whit to go home and get some sleep, even though Richard himself wasn’t going to be leaving. Rachel arrived in town at about two in the morning and raced to the hospital. The two siblings had barely said a word, just passed by each other on the way to visit their mother in small stints, one at a time.

It wasn’t unsurprising to Mr. Jack Allen when he finds Richard sitting wearily on a chair in the ICU waiting room, his eyes closed and face drawn. Jack vaguely remembers doing the same for his wife Emily, and in the not too distant past, doing the same for the man now not in the hospital bed.

Richard looked up as footsteps approached. “Mr. Allen.” Richard smiled sadly. “Thanks for coming.”

Jack gently sat in the chair beside Richard, his focus on the young man who had grown up in such a short time. “It’s a pleasure to see you again, Richard. However, I regret that it is under these circumstances. It seems we were here not that long ago, for different reasons.”

Richard managed a chuckle. “Still remedying that part of my past. But – I’m sorry to meet under these circumstances also. I knew you were still in town and all, I just – well, Whit and I – you know our history. I needed to see him. It had been far too long.”

“I’m not offended in the least.”

“I did hear that you got married. Congratulations, Mr. Allen.”

It was Jack’s turn to smile. “Thank you, Richard. Is there anything I can do for you at this time?”

Their conversation was cut short as the ICU doors opened and Rachel Woodworth walked out into the waiting room. She took the opposite seat of Jack next to Richard and sighed.

“Any changes?”

Rachel shook her head. “The doctors were rounding in the unit. They should be out soon. They said they would like to talk to us.”

Richard nodded.

They didn’t have to wait long, a mass of people exiting the ICU in a tight group. Richard had met them all the day before – the attending physician Dr. Henry O’Hare; a third year resident Dr. Ashley Steens; a first year resident Dr. Jeremiah Aarons; two medical students Trevor and Cassandra; a pharmacist Dr. Lori Tavona; and the charge nurse on the unit that shift, Melissa.

Dr. Aarons walked up to the two siblings and offered a hand to them both. “Good morning, Ms. Woodworth, Mr. Maxwell.”

They shook hands with the man as Richard commented, “Doctor. How is our mom?”

The young doctor looked behind him, his attending nodding. Dr. Aarons gestured towards a meeting room off to the side of the waiting room. “If you would, we would like to discuss with you your mother’s care and any decisions that are necessary for her care. In private, of course.”

Jack held up a hand and feigned mock offence. “Okay, okay, I know when I am not wanted.” He glanced over at Richard. “I will be right here when you come back.”

Richard nodded and stood. Rachel followed suit and the entire group entered the private meeting room, Trevor silently closing the door behind them all.

Once they were all seated, Dr. Steens started the conversation.

“After running all of the tests that felt appropriate, we have determined that your mother lost the original pacemaker of her heart – the SA node. It is what keeps the heart beating at a normal rate between 60 and 100 beats per minute. When that electrical pulse ceases to function, another site on the heart called the AV node takes over. It is much slower than the first node because it has to work harder to get the entire heart to function properly. Unfortunately, if this electrical pulse also fails, then the main pumping action of the heart decreases to a very slow rate, from between 20 to 40 beats per minute. This very slow heart rate – what we call bradycardia – can have no symptoms. Or it can be very detrimental for the individual.”

Trevor spoke up. “Our tests showed that the very last pacemaker of the heart had taken over. And the state your mother came into the emergency room in allowed us to determine this bradycardia was, unfortunately, detrimental.”

Rachel looked confused, her eyebrows pulled together, eyes wide. “So what happened?!”

Dr. Aarons spoke gently. “While the heart continued to pump and get blood to her arms, legs, and brain, the brain was not receiving enough oxygen to function completely. We tested her brain activity over night and have found that she has only one section of her brain working properly. Her brain cells died due to the limited amount of oxygen during the period her heart slowed and intervention was delivered here in the hospital with the temporary pacemaker. The only part of her brain functioning is her brain stem – it is why she is still breathing on her own.”

Richard looked like a train had run him over. He swallowed, his saliva thick in his throat. “So – she’s brain dead?”

Dr. O’Hare nodded. “I am very sorry, but your mother is in a vegetative state at this time, and brain activity is unlikely to return. Which is why we need further instruction from you, her family.”

“Exactly what is it you want us to do? You’re the doctors,” Rachel scoffed, appalled that she was even being asked this. She had no medical expertise!

Cassandra spoke up. “At this time, there are a few choices that can be made.”

Dr. Steens took over. “We need to know whether we should continue with a more permanent pacemaker, however this is not advised due to her current brain status; whether we should continue with the temporary pacemaker and wait for her brain stem function to cease to put her onto a ventilator to keep her alive; whether we should initiate comfort measures and allow her a natural death by stopping the temporary pacemaker; and or if we should initiate a Do Not Resuscitate Order.”

“The truth,” started Dr. Aarons, “is that we do not believe her brain activity will come back. That means she will stay unconscious until her heart and breathing stop. At this time, her breathing is controlled naturally, on her own. However, we are regulating her heart function. If we stop the temporary pacemaker, her heart will continue at a rate of 20 to 40 beats per minute, however it will not be able to sustain this for very long on its own and will cease to function. If we did not have a Do Not Resuscitate Order in place, we would attempt to intervene, to restart her heart, which could prove futile in the long run. If we did not stop the temporary pacemaker, it would be a waiting game until her brain stem stopped functioning and her respiratory system failed. We would then put her on a ventilator and she would be artificially sustained. A Do Not Resuscitate Order would allow us to continue with the temporary pacemaker, but we would not take action if her breathing failed and we allowed her natural death. As the outlook of her survival is bleak, we know this is a very difficult decision to make. But we do need to know how to proceed.”

Both siblings looked at each other. They had no idea how to proceed. So much information had just been presented – they were overwhelmed.

Rachel was finally able to spit out, “Do you need an answer now? Richard and I – we need to discuss this.”

Dr. Steens nodded. “Of course, take the time you need. We are in no hurry. However, a timely decision would be wise. Within the next couple of days is advised.”

Rachel nodded. “Okay.”

Richard felt numb. He wearily watched as the doctors all got up and headed back to the unit for further rounding. Rachel still sat beside him, she herself lost in her own thoughts.

Rachel sighed. “I think they just asked the impossible of us.”

He stared at the table top. He wasn’t ready for this decision – not now, not ever. He felt like he was drowning. He needed air.

Richard got up and left the meeting room, Rachel jumping up after him.

“Richard!”

Jack stood as Richard came out and turned, his form disappearing down the hallway towards the elevators. Jack was unsure if he should follow.

Rachel huffed, eyes filled with tears. “He always does this. He can’t have an actual conversation without-“ she shook her head, trying hard not to cry.

“I take it there was no good news.”

She shook her head, face scrunched up mournfully. “We have to decide how we want to – to let her go. She’s not coming back. Our mom is never coming back.” And she broke, falling to her knees in the middle of the waiting room, almost wailing in pain.

Jack didn’t know Rachel very well – he had only met her once before, the last time they had all been huddled in the hospital around Richard. But he knew he could offer her something – comfort in a time of hardship. He knelt before her, taking her hands. And he prayed silently, just being there with her, asking for God’s presence in this time of great difficulty.

-

Richard didn’t really know where he was headed. He just needed to be outside. He wandered out into the open air, finally finding a spot to sit in a garden behind the hospital. A couple of families and patients were around, but he ignored them, his mind lost in batting thoughts.

I did this. I – I killed my own mother. I can’t touch anything without ruining it. Odyssey is no home for me. I always mess up when I come here. Why do I come back? Why do I do this to myself? I am not worth it.

God, why? Why am I here? Why did my mother have to be sick? Why does she have to die? What about me? Why am I not dead? Can’t I take her place? I’m so unworthy compared to her. She’s my mom. Oh God, please help me. I can’t lose my mother. I can’t do this. I need Your help. I don’t know how to do this without You. Without her!

I don’t know enough about You to know Your ways. But I have to believe there is something good in this – but is there? My mother will die. And her pathetic excuse for a son continues to get second chances. First Whit, then Jack. Now I am healthy and she is not. I have made mistakes – some mistakes I have felt can go unforgiven. But You have shown me great forgiveness, and you have shown this – this town all manner of forgiveness. You allowed those I hurt greatly to forgive me. But do I deserve it? Do I deserve this forgiveness? I don’t understand. I need Your help. I need Your help. What do I do? How do I do this without losing myself? I feel so lost. I – I’m so lost, God. So lost.

Richard was silently crying, tears streaming down his face. He was lost – so very confused. He didn’t know what to do. How was he supposed to decide the fate of his mother? How could anyone make this type of decision? It wore on his heart, dragged on his mind. And he felt like a battle was happening right there in him, between his head, his heart, and the God he had only just come to know. But what could he trust? He needed guidance. He needed –

For the second time in a few short days, someone had managed to sneak up on Richard. A form sat beside him, a hand held out.

Richard looked over, sniffling. Jack – another God-given savior in Richard’s tragic life. Richard took the offered hand and Jack squeezed back, smiling sadly.

“I’m so sorry, Richard.”

Richard looked up towards the clouds. His voice cracked with unshed emotion and pain. “I wish – I wish it was me. She never deserved this. I have made a giant mess of my life, and have survived through all of it. But my mom – even when she was disappointed in me, she still loved me. And now – I did this. I’m the reason she will die.”

“Oh, Richard. You are not to blame.”

“But I am! We had been talking and she drifted off to sleep and I thought nothing less than she was tired. But when I came to check up on her in the morning, she wouldn’t wake up. Her heart must have been failing that whole time, and I didn’t figure it out. I should have figured it out. I should have – done something.” Richard hung his head, tears falling faster. He wasn’t ready to lose his mother. He wasn’t ready to make such hard decisions. He had been making them his entire life – when would he ever find true peace?

Jack felt at a loss. But he did know something he could say. “I know that you have struggled, Richard. But there is more to this life than regret and pain. Circumstances as they are, you could not have known what would happen. You are not all seeing, all knowing. You are human. And we all make mistakes – you are not alone in that. You have a Heavenly Father who watches over you every single moment. And I pray you come to understand that. We may not understand His ways, but know that He never means to bring us pain. This life is but a small part in the eternity of the universe.”

Richard looked up into the eyes of the man who had saved him from ultimate death just three years before. He sighed and smiled sadly. “Is it normal to argue with God when you are so new to Him?”

Jack seemed to digest those words and a smile bloomed on his face. “Richard, are you saying -?”

Richard managed to shrug. “Apparently the bad stuff will never go away, even when you accept Christ into your heart. Of course, this is probably a gigantic test of my faith. I don’t know if I’ll come through unscathed though. I’m too – broken.”

Jack pulled Richard into a hug. “Oh how I have longed for this day. You are worth all that God can offer you. I am so, so thankful.” He pulled back, smiling broadly. “Whatever help you need, I am here for you, Richard. Praise the Lord, you are no longer lost.”

Richard laughed. “You really are so much like Whit. He said the same thing.”

This made Jack chuckle. He was ever so thankful for the blessing of Jesus Christ, and for Richard’s salvation. It was a joyful time – mixed with sadness. They were quiet for a time, Richard struggling with the right decision on his comatose mother. He didn’t want to say good-bye – but he knew she would be in Heaven whenever he got there. And that alone soothed his soul, his heart. He knew what he needed to do. No matter how hard it would be.

“I think – I think I know what I have to do.”

Jack nodded, not questioning. “I pray for your peace, Richard. No matter your decision.”

“Thank you, Mr. Allen. You continue to save my life in more ways than you can imagine.”

“I think I understand.”

- A couple of hours later, Richard made his way back to the ICU waiting room, his sister just stepping out of the unit as he stepped off the elevator. She hugged him, knowing that whatever they chose would not be easy.

They sat. Before Richard could speak, Rachel had taken his hands in hers. “Mom’s condition has changed.”

Richard felt himself pale. “What – what’s going on?”

“Her respirations have changed. The nurses say she is likely to enter respiratory failure in the next couple of hours. Her brain stem is failing. We are running out of time to make a decision.”

He swallowed. “I think I know what we have to do, Rachel.”

She nodded. “It’s gonna hurt, but I think we should stop the pacemaker, let her own heart beat on its own. And – not suffer through resuscitation efforts. She’s not coming back.”

He realized that Rachel was a lot like him. They had come to the exact same conclusion. And she was right, it was going to hurt. It already hurt. But it was the right thing to do. To save themselves pain, to save their mother any amount of suffering that could possibly happen, even when she was likely not aware of anything at all.

“I – I agree.”

They found their mother’s nurse and told her their wishes. The nurse contacted the resident and both Dr. Aarons and Dr. Steens came up to the floor, meeting the two siblings in the ICU waiting room. They relayed their wishes for their mother and after that, things took off fairly quickly.

Just after lunch time that same day, the temporary pacemaker was turned off and the heart beat on the monitor slowed to a beat every two seconds – or about thirty times a minute.

Richard sat on his mother’s right side, squeezing her hand tightly. It was unknown how much longer it would be until both her breathing and heart stopped – but the nurses had reported that it would likely only be a couple of hours, due to her condition. Even though no more than one individual was allowed into a patient room at one time in the ICU, the nurses made the exception for them, allowing Rachel to also be in the room. As it was, the care had turned from life sustaining to comfort cares, and there was little reason to keep away the only two family members around.

Waiting is the hardest – waiting for the inevitable is even harder. The afternoon passes slowly, and Richard and Rachel speak few words. They are far too occupied with their own thoughts.

The time approaches four thirty in the early evening when Catherine’s heart begins to skip more beats and her breathing becomes almost unnoticeable. Richard doesn’t know how to feel, knowing he is literally watching his mother die. And all he can think is that he did this to her – he is the reason she is dying. He probably will never stop blaming himself, and that’s the worst realization.

Rachel starts to sob in the mattress, her hands clutching her mother’s left arm.

It feels like forever, but eventually the heart beat on the monitor fades out and Catherine’s chest no longer rises.

Richard feels like his world is falling apart. He numbly kisses his mother’s hand, tears in his eyes. And then he gets up, leaving the room where all he can think about it death and sacrifice, and how much it should have been him.

Rachel doesn’t stop him, her own tears falling faster. She stays far too long, grieving over her mother’s body. The nurses do not mind – they tell her to take her time. Rachel doesn’t know where her brother runs off to. She would eventually have to find out, but she doesn’t worry. He’s a grown adult. Everyone grieves in their own way.

So she stays, weeping for the lost time and the love she felt for her mother. And all seems so – hopeless.

-

He had ran from the hospital after the crushing blow to his familial state – his mother was dead. He had been too late to get his mother help when she needed it the most. Her heart had failed her, and she was gone in what seemed like an instant. Richard wanted to scream, to ask God why over and over and over again. But no words came from his mouth and his heart ached for what could have been. His mind was wounded and broken, the only image swirling around his brain of his mother, in bed two nights before, resting peacefully. But it wasn't peacefulness, it was lack of blood flow to the brain. And Richard had failed her. He was to blame.

He wasn't so much angry at himself than he was perpetually disappointed. His heart felt literally broken. He had so little to live for. A small piece of him cried out to God, wanting answers. But if anything, Richard knew he wouldn't get those answers soon enough. The damage was done – and Richard had already made up his mind on his next course of action.

Somehow, some way, Richard had found his vehicle and driven himself back to his mother's home. But he couldn't get out, couldn't walk up the concrete walkway or unlock the door. There was no point in it. She was never coming home. But he needed to get his things – he was going to have to leave town at some point. Returning to Odyssey always brought him trouble – how had he believed this time would be different?

God, oh God. Heal me. I am so, so broken.

Richard rested his head on the steering wheel, willing the tears to stay back. He wasn't ready to lose it - not again. If he lost it, he probably wouldn't be able to make it into the house.

A sharp knock on the window beside him got his attention. He was expecting a neighbor or a stranger to have come found him, but the face staring back at him was a bit more familiar. He struggled with the door handle, feeling like he was a newborn baby. He was about to break - and break in front of her.

But she was a smart girl - lady, woman, etc, etc - who perceived his brokenness before even he did. Lucy Cunningham-Schultz opened the door and closed the gap between their bodies before he had a chance to completely topple from the car, his movements less coordinated than a baby giraffes. Grief had the ability to do strange things to people.

She helped him to the ground, where he knelt, feeling every emotion hit him at once. Sadness, anger, love, regret, fear, joy, confusion... He didn't know why she had come - he hadn't seen Lucy for over three years.

As if she could read his mind, she was speaking. "Whit called me – right after Jack called me. Asked me to make sure you were alright. But I'm not sure there is much truth in that statement."

Richard felt his heart breaking. "I failed her. I'm the reason my mother is dead. This was all my fault." His heart then shattered, unable to be put back together by human means. His mother was dead and he was to blame. He hung his head and felt the tears start to come – this time he was sure they would never stop.

Lucy knelt in front of him, her face sympathetic. She gently cradled Richard's face in her hands and she laid her forehead on his. She eventually spoke softly. "You place far too much blame on your own human existence. You aren't at fault. Nothing can ever make this better or change the outcome. You are so very much loved, Richard. I know she has forgiven you. Don't forget to forgive yourself."

She felt his tears on her hands. She felt the loss as he did - she had lost her own father at a much younger age. But even after all they had been through, she still cared for the broken boy before her. He had turned into a man, and was still suffering all the consequences of a life filled with regret and distress. She wanted to take it all from him, to give him a chance to understand the true peace of a life not so shattered. But she sent up a prayer to God for that part, knowing only He could do such a miracle.

She leaned back on her heels, smiling, gently releasing her hold on his face. "I never told you thank you, for saving me back when you were last in town."

Richard eventually looked up at her, his eyes red and puffy. "I don't think I expected one."

Lucy scowled, shaking her head. "I don't even know what to do with you, Richard Maxwell. You must be a fool, if I have ever met one. But," she said in a lighter tone, her smile back, "I guess I can forgive you. If only you will forgive yourself. I have never met one so brave, and yet so - fractured."

"Genetic predisposition," he murmured, taking her hands in his. "Thank you, Lucy. I just wish - things had turned out differently."

"As do I," she whispered, squeezing his hands. "Now let's get you into the house. You have had far too long a day to still be at your car."

He managed to laugh. If anything, he knew she had all the words in the world to help him feel better. It's what he genuinely enjoyed about her, even if they could only ever be passing acquaintances. He had ruined that a long time ago. But even now, he knew she would not be disappointed in his choice in finding and accepting Christ. If nothing else, he knew she would be joyful over it. It connected them - in ways he had no way of comprehending just yet. He had much to learn. Hopefully it would not all be in vain.

[theworstofallpossibleworlds]

TWOAPW #165: THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBWHITTAKER (feat. Tom Walker) [Whit's Endless Summer 40]

Tom Walker (Tom Walker: Very Very) joins the lads for his first trip to Odyssey as they explore adventures in shock jock DJing, international espionage, and the return of everybody's favorite ice cream shop owning NSA asset: John Avery Whittaker.