#i’m gonna have to wake up and do this Forever and just hope my joints don’t disintegrate???

[ender-lune]

lays down on the floor and lets out a single anguished wail before flopping down like a fish . AAAAUUUUUUUGH

[once-upon-an-imagine]

(500 Miles) (Chapter One) - Argyle

A/N: I think my mojo’s back xD at least I hope so! soo, I loved this request and I am really excited to write for Argyle sooooooo yes, I decided to make another series (as if I don’t have enough ongoing series already but... oh well) I hope you like it xD

Request -  Anonymous asked:  i got an idea for argyle! what about a hopper!reader where he could be your dad/uncle who you lived with and when he “died” you also moved to california with the byers. we’d be there while everything is going down and then finally arrive at hawkins where you see everyone for the first time in forever. maybe steve could be an ex 👀 you guys broke up before the move because of how much of a bitch long distance would be, so when he sees you with argyle he can’t help but feel a bit jealous on the inside to see you move on. everyone gets to meet argyle, steve tells you that he’s happy for you, we get a happy ending even tho hawkins is literally falling apart 😁

Warnings: smoking weed with Argyle; also, this starts in California so, the actual request of them arriving at Hawkins will be in the later chapters :D no spoilers or anything on this chapter it’s more of a prologue

Disclaimer: I don’t own Stranger things :D gif isn’t mine :) 

Your name: submit What is this?

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(500) Miles

When I wake up, well I know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you When I go out, yeah I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you

You threw yourself on your bed letting out a loud sigh and staring at the ceiling. You felt a few tears running down your cheeks and you quickly wiped them away, sitting up and composing yourself. You knew it was for the best. You kept telling yourself that everything you had done in the past month was for the best. For you. For El. And for the Byers who had lovingly taken you into their home. You got up and walked over to your dresser grabbing the picture of you, Steve, Nancy, Jonathan, and Robin and you smiled sadly. You then put it down and saw the other picture of you with your dad, and El. You shook your head, took a deep breath, and walked out of your room over to the basement. You could hear the music and you slowly opened the door. You heard Jonathan freaking out as you walked down the stairs.

"Relax, it's just me" you chuckled as you reached the bottom of the stairs while Jonathan and Argyle let out a sigh of relief. "Your mom is still out with Will and Jane" you told them.

"Fuck, dude, you scared the shit out of me" Jonathan said with a nervous laugh.

"What's going on, my dude?" Argyle smiled at you.

"Wait, are you off the phone?" Jonathan asked and you couldn't tell if he was being serious so you nodded.

"Uh... yeah" you said and he got up quickly.

"Shit! Then I have to go call Nancy" he said, running up the stairs and leaving you and Argyle behind. You took Jonathan's place, sitting next to Argyle, and sighed.

"Can I have some of that?"

He turned to look back at you, frowning his eyebrows in confusion. "Some of what?"

"The... uh... Purple Palm Tree Delight?" you smiled up at him.

"You-" he said, choking a little. "You want some of this?" he asked, holding the joint in his hand.

"Yeah" you nodded. "I mean if that's okay with you-"

"N-no, yeah of course" he said, still not believing his ears. "It's just... well, you never do this kind of stuff... am I corrupting you, petal?" he smiled as you grabbed the joint from him and took a drag.

"Don't flatter yourself, Argyle" you laughed. "It's not like this is the first time I've tried weed" you informed him.

"It's not?" he asked, almost sounding disappointed and you shook your head no, resting it on the back of the couch. "So... what's the occasion? I thought you were gonna be on the phone for like three hours like always" he mocked you as you returned the joint.

"Are you stalking me, man?" you smirked at him.

"No, but when your boyfriend calls, you usually disappear for the rest of the day" he said in an accusing tone.

"Actually... I don't have a boyfriend" you muttered quietly as you took the joint from him again.

"Wait, what?" he asked, sitting up and looking at you. "What are you talking about? Did you guys break up?"

"Well, to be completely honest, Steve and I broke up before we moved here" you explained. After a moment of silence, Argyle spoke again.

"But you still talk on the phone a lot" he said confused.

"Yeah, we're still friends" you explained.

"So how come Byers doesn't know about this? I mean, they all still think he's your boyfriend" he asked, confused.

"I don't know" you sighed. "I love the Byers, but they're all about feelings and hugging and shit and I'm just... not like that" you chuckled. "So, I knew that if I told them it would be another thing to add and I didn't really want to have that conversation. "That would have been a lot of hugs" you said.

"You hug Will and Jane all the time" he laughed.

"Yeah, because they're worthy of my hugs" you mocked him.

"Shit, Hopper, that hurts" he said, placing his hands over his heart. "You also hug Mrs. Byers a lot-"

"Correction, Mrs. Byers hugs me a lot, and would you ever refuse a hug from Mrs. Byers?"

"Fair point" he smiled, taking another drag. "So, when did you guys break up?"

"About two months ago, I guess" you explained. "I wanted to try the whole distance thing because it was supposed to be only for a year but I know Steve didn't want to" you said. "I am sure he would have tried for me if I asked but... I felt like he wanted to call things off. He just didn't want to hurt my feelings" you told him. "So, I did it for him" you said.

"Why do you think that? I mean, why wouldn't he just break it off?"

"Because he hates hurting people" you shrugged. "That's how Steve is. I've known Steve my whole life, even if we grew apart when we started high school but then he changed again and I didn't want to drag him in on something he didn't want to do and that might have ended up making us resent the other so... I don't know, I guess it was only a matter of time" you said, smoking again. "Don't tell Jonathan though, I think he and Nancy will do better than us" you said.

"Shit... I'm sorry, man. That's intense" he said sympathetically. "So, what happened today that made you upset?"

"I'm not upset" you complained but he raised his eyebrows at you, looking at the joint in your hand.

"Fine. He's dating again" you sighed.

"Shit! He told you that?"

"Well, we're still friends and when we started dating we promised that we wouldn't let anything ruin that. I mean, is not like we hate each other, we broke up because I was moving and he was staying in Hawkins so... we still talk, a lot-"

"Are you still... like in love with him?"

"Not really" you said, sitting up and handing him the joint. It was true. You still loved Steve but as a friend, like you did your whole life. Maybe if you would have stayed in Hawkins things would be different but you weren't in Hawkins. You were in California smoking pot with Argyle. "I care about him a lot as a friend but he's dating like a different girl every week and I don't know. It just kinda felt like I was one of those girls, which I know is not true because we were together for a while and I know he cares about me but... I guess, I didn't expect him to move on so quickly and be this happy so soon, you know?" you smiled sadly at him.

Argyle felt his heart aching a little. This was probably the first serious conversation the two of you had and he definitely didn't like seeing you upset.

"Are you okay?"

"I guess" you said, letting the smoke out. "I mean, it is what it is" you told him.

"I'm sorry, dude" he said, placing his hand on your shoulder. "Breakups suck, man" he said, taking another drag.

"Thanks" you smiled at him. "This helps" you said, grabbing the joint.

"Oh no, young lady-"

"I'm the same age as you-"

"Still! Don't think you get a pass after today" he said, trying to be serious. "This is a one-time deal" he told you.

"But I'm heartbroken" you said, dramatically. "You wouldn't deny a poor girl in pain a small piece of happiness-"

"Nice try, petal" he chuckled. "That won't work on me" he assured you.

"Oh, we'll see" you smirked, giving the joint back to him.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

"Alright, dude, you ready?"

"Why do I have to cook it?"

"Because then you can spend more time in the back with me and not at the register" Argyle insisted, starting to prepare the dough for the pizza.

"But I am horrible at cooking!"

The two of you were the only ones left at Surfer Boy Pizza, having the closing shift and it was pretty much dead since it was a Monday.

"I know, that's why I'm teaching you" he laughed.

"Hey! You were supposed to say I'm not that bad" you scoffed, trying to sound offended.

"Do I need to remind you that you almost burn down the whole place, petal?" he laughed.

"Hey! That only happened once and nothing was on fire-"

"Because I put it out" he laughed.

"Okay, fine, let's get this over with" you said, rolling your eyes.

The two of you had become closer friends in the past couple of weeks since you told the truth to Argyle about you and Steve. You even got to ride the Purple Palm Tree delight on occasion because you knew how to wear Argyle down. You could honestly say he was becoming one of your favorite people and maybe, just maybe, you were starting to develop a small crush on him. Which is why your Monday shift was your favorite because it was just the two of you.

"That's the spirit, man" he said, excitedly. "C'mon, let's go, señorita" he said, pulling you with him as you groaned dramatically. "Okay, first you have to get the dough ready" he told you and you were about to take it but he stopped you, grabbing your hand. "Hold on" he said. "You don't want it to get all sticky so, first, we put flour" he said grabbing a bag of flour and spreading it around the table.

"Well, this is fun" you said, getting flour on your hands. "Okay, now what?" you asked smiling, showing him your floured hands.

"Now the dough" he said, grabbing it and he started spreading it on the table.

"Can I throw it in the air like you do?" you asked, excitedly.

"I don't know petal, I've seen you throw things-"

"You know, sometimes I don't even know why I'm your friend" you glared at him.

"Well, it's not like you have many friends here-"

"Many? You're literally my only friend here" you laughed. "Jonathan complains about it every day, how I stole you from him" you rolled your eyes.

"Not gonna lie, pretty flattered that you two fight over me" he smiled as he started throwing the pizza in the air and you watched him in awe. It was always your favorite part whenever he was in charge of making the pies.

"It's not my fault I'm your favorite" you smirked at him.

"Yeah?" he said, placing the pizza back on the table. "How'd you figure that out?" he asked, poking your nose and leaving a spot of flour.

"Well, because you let me sit on the front more than Jonathan" you started, hopping back on the counter. "And you sometimes let me pick the music" you continued. "And you always bring an extra banana muffin for me when your mom bakes them" you smiled triumphantly.

"And yet, you're letting me make this pizza by myself" he complained.

"Well, you didn't let me do anything fun!" you said, grabbing a little bit of flour and tossing it at him.

"Dude!" he said, looking at you. "I wasn't going to let you drop our pie" he complained, throwing some flour at you and you laughed but then pretended to be offended again.

"I wasn't going to drop it!" you said throwing more flour at him.

"Okay, stop that" he said, trying to grab the gab from you but you were quicker and you climbed off the counter and ran away from him, but as you did, you tripped and fell flat on your butt, dropping all of the flour over yourself.

"Shit" you complained as Argyle started laughing.

"You were saying, petal?" he laughed, kneeling to offer you his hand. You glared at him a little but took it and he helped you up, pulling you a little too hard and bringing you really close and he wrapped his arms around you so you wouldn't fall again. "Seriously, you have to be one of the clumsiest people I've ever met" he laughed.

You had never been this close to Argyle. You weren't someone who was particularly physical. Argyle had noticed it. You didn't really like to hug people, with a few exceptions. But you didn't mind with Argyle. In fact, you had actually been wanting to be this close to him for a while now.

"Sorry, I didn't want you to fall again" he said, starting to unwrap his arms from your waist but you quickly placed your hands on his arms so he wouldn't.

"N-no" you said a bit too quickly. "I m-mean, it's fine" you said, feeling your cheeks burning.

"It... it is?" he asked, feeling his heartbeat racing. "I thought you didn't like hugs-"

"I like yours" you blurted out. "I m-mean- uh- I like you-" you said, widening your eyes when you realized what you just said. "I m-mean- fuck! I'm such an idiot" you muttered looking down.

"You're not" he said, placing his hand on your cheek to make you look up at him. "I like your hugs too" he smiled.

You saw him start to lean in and you quickly stepped on your toes and wrapped your arms around his neck before he placed his lips against yours. He tightened his grip around you and you felt him smile against your lips.

"I knew I was your favorite" you smiled when you pulled away, making him laugh.

"Wanna help me finish your pizza?" he asked brushing a little flour you still had on your cheek.

"Oh, it's my pizza now?" you smirked.

"Let's clean you up, clutz" he said, kissing you again. You could definitely get used to this.

"Okay" you smiled brightly at him.

You cleaned your mess up while Argyle finished cooking the pizza. You both decided it would be best with your regular 'accidents'.

"Order up" he said, bringing the pizza over to you.

"I'm not eating that" you said, sitting on the counter.

"What? Why not?" Argyle complained, placing the pizza on the counter and standing in front of you.

"Why would you put pineapple on a pizza?"

"Hey, petal! Try before you deny" he said, offering you a piece.

"I don't mind the pineapple, the question I ask is why is it on my pizza?" you complained.

"Because it's delicious" he insisted.

"I knew I shouldn't have let you make the pizza by yourself" you complained as you took the slice in your hand.

"Come on, give it a try" he insisted before hearing your stomach growl. "I know you want to" he said, raising his eyebrows and you rolled your eyes.

"Fine, only because I'm starving" you gave in. "And because you made it" you smiled, making him flush a little.

You took a bite and even if you would have tried to deny it, Argyle could see in your face that you had actually liked it.

"So?" he asked, waiting for your review. "What's the report, petal?"

"It's okay" you shrugged, taking another bite.

"Okay?" he smirked. "Just okay?"

"Fine, it's actually pretty good" you admitted.

"I knew it!" he smiled happily. "What?" he asked when he saw you smiling at him.

"Nothing" you quickly said, pulling him a little closer. "You still have a little bit of flour here" you said, brushing it away from his cheek.

"Your entire face is still filled with flour" he smiled brightly at you and leaned closer to kiss you again. "Do, do you like... want to uh- go out on a date or- um, something?" he stuttered when you broke apart.

"I'd really like that" you said, smiling.

"Does this mean that I get to hug you now?" he asked, placing his hands on your hips.

"Only if you admit that I'm your favorite" you said, making him laugh a little.

"Of course you're my favorite, petal" he said, kissing you again.

The End

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[Ch.2]

A/N: soooo, part 2? let me know what you think :D 

[aredheadedmess]

Good Day || KNJ

Summary: One day, it'll be a good day, forever.

Pairing: Namjoon x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 5k

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Non-Idol AU, Slight Slow Burn, Slightly Suggestive

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: mention of champagne, pregnancy and allusion to possible abortion, making out, idk if there's anything else. it's really just a lot of fluff

Notes: This fic is part of the Bangtan On Replay event hosted by @btsgoldnetwork! I had fun writing this, and I hope you enjoy it! I wish I got this out a little sooner, but I'm happy on how it turned out.

Masterlist

You remember the first time you met him. The bright smile he had on his face after defeating your brother in a round of Mario Kart the first time he was at your home only made you more curious. The dimples in his round cheeks deepend as he taunted your older brother, dancing around his deflated form sitting on the floor in front of the couch. You stood watching curiously at the interaction.

The moment he stood between your brother and the tv, his eyes caught your figure in the doorway. He gave you a small wave. At that, your brother turned around to see you standing there, whining out your name with a pout on his face. Even over the sound of the game playing in the background you heard him sigh.

He turned the sound down before pointing at you.

“Namjoon, this is my bratty younger sister, Y/N,” he said in a bored tone.

“Hey! I’m not bratty!”

He stuck his tongue out at you. Which you gave back. Namjoon laughed at your antics, still wearing a silly smile on his cheeks. He raised up the controller, as if he were about to toss it to you.

“Wanna join?”

You gasped. With wide, sparkling eyes, you turned to your brother. Of course you were going to ask him. You had just interrupted their play time and he didn’t seem very pleased while introducing you to the new friend.

“Can I?”

“I guess. Just don’t eat any of my snacks,” he huffed lightly. Settling back into his place with his back against the couch, he reached for the remote again to turn the volume back up. “I’m gonna warn ya right now, Joon. Y/N’s pretty good.”

Namjoon would often come over. Whether it be for your brother and his weekly hang out time, or for them to stay up all night finishing the joint project that was due that very morning.

Tonight was no different. With the upcoming winter break, there were tests and projects due very quickly. After five years of being friends and project partners you would have thought that they would have learned their lesson. But, just like before, Namjoon had come over with the guise of playing games and a sleepover with your brother. You weren’t sure if your parents had ever caught on to their procrastination, but if the tired looks and glitter-covered hands told you anything, you’re sure they knew very well.

You shared a wall with your brother’s room, and unfortunately for you, it wasn’t very thick. So when you wake up to the loud voices trying to be hush, you knew you wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep that easily. So instead, you threw your covers off your body, pulled yourself up from bed, and slipped out of your room and into the one next door. Two pairs of eyes stared up at you in horror in fear that you were either one of your parents.

“What’s going on,” you yawn. “You guys woke me up.”

Letting out a sigh of relief, your brother turned to glare at his best friend.

“Namjoon won’t let me draw dragons on our poster.”

Throwing his hands in the air, Namjoon looks at you in desperation.

“They don’t even make sense with our topic!” 

“Uh, yeah they do.” Your brother crosses his arms in front of his chest. He leans in closer to Namjoon. “This is history. Dragons are in a lot of old stories.”

“Just because they’re in a lot of stories doesn’t mean that they’re relevant to what we have to present about!”

Your face scrunches at the volume that the two are bickering in. You shush them, reaching out to cover your brother’s mouth before he has a chance to shout out another argument. When he licks your hand, you pull it back and wipe it on his face before he has a chance to move away.

“Keep it down. You don’t want mom or dad to wake up do you?”

He scoffs and points his thumb towards the other boy in the room.

“You’re just lucky you don’t have to deal with his dumb logic everyday.”

“What do you mean? She has to deal with you as a brother everyday.”

Your brother pinches Namjoon’s thigh, leading them into another—this time quieter—argument. You sigh, rubbing your hand against your face before stepping back towards the door.

“I’m going back to bed. You guys are too much to deal with right now.”

You’re not sure if either of them even heard or saw you leave, but you don’t care about that right now. As you carefully shuffle back into your own room, your tired eyes meet your bed. But you can’t sleep now. You’re not sure why tonight is any different, it’s not like you’ve never been woken up by your brother in the middle of the night. Most of the time it’s because he’s up gaming, even though he shouldn’t be.

Deciding that trying to fall back asleep isn’t going to be worth your time, you pull a book off your shelf and sit on your bed. You wrap your comforter around you and snuggle in. You can still hear the faint complaints between the two boys as you begin to read, and it did distract you at first. But the longer you focused on the book, the less you noticed about your surroundings.

Your heart pounds in your chest at the light knock that eventually comes from your door. Slowly, you set the book down, glancing at the clock. It’s been almost an hour since you started reading. You get up from your bed, pulling the comforter along with you. Quietly opening the door, you are met with Namjoon fiddling with his fingers.

“Hey.”

His voice is soft. He is definitely a lot calmer than what you heard earlier.

“Hi?”

“You’re brother’s already asleep,” he mutters. “I was going to get some water when I saw that you had your light on, so I thought I’d come apologize for waking you up.”

A sheepish smile takes over his face, dimples out on display. You send him a soft smile of your own. Leaning up against your door, you let out a huff of laughter.

“Ah, yeah. It’s no big deal. He wakes me up in the middle of the night often enough that it doesn’t really bug me all the time. Plus if you remember, it’s not the first time you both have woken me up by your bickering.” You glance back into your room, towards the open book laying on your bed. “Although, tonight I can’t really fall back asleep.”

Namjoon hums, pulling your attention back to him. His face scrunches up in thought before returning the smile to his face.

“I think I remember seeing some tea in the kitchen. Want me to make you some?”

“Sure.”

It’s quiet between the two of you for a minute. You’re not sure if you should start making conversation with Namjoon, or if he’d rather sit in silence as you wait for the water to heat up. He must have seen your thoughts as if they were tattooed on your forehead, though, as he initiates a quiet conversation with you.

The two of you talk about everything between school and your social lives, and the late night thoughts that keep you both awake. There was never a dull moment as you sat in your kitchen with your brother’s best friend.

Namjoon laughs as quietly as possible after you finish telling him about your class’s shenanigans. And in that moment, you don’t think you’ve ever felt the way you did. Maybe it was the idea that your brother wasn’t around, so you didn’t have to hear his nagging about you taking his best friend away from him. Or maybe it was because you knew that you’ve felt that Namjoon was more than just your brother’s best friend for some time, and that this moment—sitting at the breakfast bar with his thigh grazing yours every so often as he twists on his chair—was much more intimate than other times you’ve shared a space together.

Picking up your mug as you shake the thoughts out of your head, you hum in satisfaction. If there was one thing you knew, Namjoon knew how to brew the tea just right.

“You know,” he speaks softly. “I thought it’d be weird to hang out with my best friend’s little sibling.”

“I don’t think it’s weird,” you mumble against your mug.

Namjoon turns to you. His eyebrow is raised in confusion as his mug is held in midair.

“What?”

You shake your head.

“Nothing.”

“Well…” he hums. He raises his mug to his lips, whispering out before taking another sip. “I think you’re cool.”

You turn away from his gaze with a shy smile. Does he know what he’s doing to your heart?

Namjoon finishes his drink before you, but waits until you're done, taking both of your mugs to the sink. He turns back to face you, gesturing to the stairs where you both make your way back up to your room as quietly as possible. You step into your room. Before you can manage to close your door, Namjoon catches your wrist to stop you. You turn your attention to him.

“Goodnight, Y/N. See you tomorrow?”

His head tilts as he asks the question. You nod, giving him a sweet but tired smile.

“Yeah. Goodnight, Joon.”

“Y/N?”

Your eyes widen. Sniffling quietly, you rub your face to get rid of the stray tears and runny nose.

Namjoon comes running around the corner you managed to hide yourself behind. You should have known that he would have seen you run past him in an attempt to get away from your brother.

“Yeah?”

You curse yourself. Your voice sounds so hoarse.

“Are you okay?”

Namjoon kneels in front of you, his head tilted and eyebrows furrowed in worry. You can’t make eye contact with him unless you want to start apologizing for making him so worried when he shouldn’t be. He’s your brother’s friend. Not yours.

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, cause you look like you’ve been crying.”

“No I wasn’t,” you mumble.

He raises an eyebrow at you, leaning in a little closer.

“Are you sure?”

“No…”

He sighs lightly. Namjoon shifts so he sits on the gravel beside you. The warmth radiating from him is comforting, so you lean into him a little more, testing the waters before fully committing to resting your head against his shoulder. He throws an arm around your shoulders.

“You can tell me anything, yeah? I’ll listen.”

“It’s nothing really,” you sigh. “Just my stupid brother picking a fight with me infront of his so called friends.”

“Oh?”

You finally glance up at him. Even from the position you’re in, Namjoon is watching you carefully. He smiles as you catch his eyes.

“I just really look up to him, ya know? But when he goes and says the things he said, I feel like I’m nothing to him.”

Namjoon hums, tugging you closer.

“He’ll come around. I’m sure of it. I never really liked those people anyways.”

“You think so?”

“If I have anything to do with it, I know so,” he chuckles.

You push away from him as much as possible, but his hold on you keeps you close. Shaking your head, you give him a tight-lipped smile.

“You don’t have to do anything. I’ll get over it at some point.”

“That’s the problem though,” Namjoon states. His voice is stern, and it sends a kaleidoscope of butterflies to your stomach. You’ve seen how protective he can get about the people he cares about. And now knowing that you are a part of that small group has you overly happy. “You shouldn’t have to get over it, that’s your brother. It would be different if it was a friend.”

“Why are you so nice to me?”

You stare into his eyes. It takes a moment for Namjoon to say anything, and for that moment, you reconsider if you ever even meant anything to him. He is your brother’s best friend. And you are just his bratty little sister.

“I consider you.. my friend. Why wouldn’t I be nice to you?”

It’s almost as if something shifts between the two of you. One moment, you are surprised to hear that what you’ve been thinking about is true. The next, you find yourself leaning in a little closer. You can feel his breath hit your face. You thank your lucky stars that he doesn’t seem uncomfortable with the limited space between your faces, and lean in even closer.

“Joon? Where’d ya go?”

Namjoon groans. Curse your brother’s bad timing. Namjoon was in your brother’s sight when you passed by him earlier. Of course he’d go looking for him.

“I’ve gotta get going,” he sighs. “Your brother’s buying bowling passes for us and I promised I’d go. Not that I’d be great at it anyways. You’ve got my number though. I’m always free to talk, or do something to get stuff off your mind.”

Reluctantly, you settle back into your original position with your back against the brick wall behind you. Namjoon offers a bright smile as he stands up. He keeps his eyes trained on you until he makes it around the corner once more.

What would have happened if your brother didn’t interrupt?

Getting a text at midnight wasn't something you expected. But getting a text from Namjoon at midnight was even less expected. You thought that he'd be asleep right now, considering he has a big exam in the morning—one that will determine his future—and he likes to get a good amount of sleep before tests.

Reaching for your phone, you open up your messages. His text is vague, making you much more curious that maybe you should be.

Meet me at the park. I want to show you something.

Your eyes scan the playground when you get to the park. Namjoon is sitting on the swingset, gently swinging. Even in the dark of the night, you can see the satisfied smile resting on his face. As you make your way closer to him, he glances in your direction, seemingly hearing your footsteps. You smile and wave.

“What did you want to show me?”

Namjoon takes your hand, pulling you towards the other side of the park.

“Come with me.”

He brushes past the taller shrubbery, pushing branches out of your way. 

“We gotta be quiet.”

Stepping out into a smaller open area, your eyes widen. Hidden away from the main park area is a garden area with a small gazebo centered between the bushes and trees. Fireflies light up the space, helping you guide your way to the gazebo. Namjoon pulls you to sit beside him, watching as the fireflies dance around you. You’re speechless.

“Oh wow. Joon, this is incredible.”

You glance at him only to find him already looking at you. You give him a warm smile, which he gladly returns.

A quiet rustle in one of the trees brings your attention away from him. You watch as a pair of squirrels climb up to one of the branches before snuggling up together.

“Maybe that could be us one day,” Namjoon mumbles.

You turn to him with a slightly surprised look.

“What are you saying?”

“Y/N, I like you.”

He smiles gently. Waiting patiently for your reaction, he stares at you with a sparkle in his eye. You sit still for a moment, trying to process what he had just said. Is he lying? Is this a set up? It was too good to be true. You begin to look around your surroundings for any sign of your brother or a hidden camera.

“My brother put you up to this, didn’t he? I’m being pranked right now, right?”

He knows that you’ve liked Namjoon for a while now. It’s one of the main reasons why he hasn’t let you be around them as often when they hang out. And one of the main reasons why he would always pick a fight with you. He wasn’t very happy when he had seen the way you looked at him after he had given you a birthday present a couple years back. The gift wasn’t anything super special, just your favorite candy and a little handmade card with ‘Happy Birthday Y/N’ scrawled across the paper. But the way he had remembered what you liked and gave it to you without a reminder of it being your birthday made your heart warm. Your brother knew then and there that you saw his best friend as something other than a friend or acquaintance.

Taking your hands in his, Namjoon leans over to get your gaze back to him. 

“No. I really do like you, Y/N. I have for a long time now.”

“Oh,” you whisper. “Well, I’m glad then. Cause I have too.”

Dimples. Probably one of your favorite features of his. The smile that takes over his face lets them have their time to shine once again, and you have to refrain from poking them.

Namjoon squeezes your hands, dropping his gaze to them.

“Prom’s coming up. Would you want to go with me?”

“What about my brother?” you question.

You’re sure he’d be livid if he saw you and Namjoon together at one of the most special—at least according to many of your classmates—dances of the year. All dressed up for each other, holding you close as you sway to the questionable music on the gymnasium floor.

“He’s been saying that he won’t go cause it seems like a dumb idea to spend a crap ton of money for just one night in a sweaty room with a bunch of horny teenage couples.”

“Well, when it’s put that way…”

You cringe at the picture his words put in your head. Sweaty teens mosh pitting with several couples trying to make out while hiding from the chaperones was not the sight you wanted to see.

“So, no dance?” he pouts slightly.

“No!-- I mean, I’d love to go with you! Just as long as we stay out of the main crowds.”

Namjoon chuckles, pulling you into his arms to watch the fireflies again.

“Fine by me.”

You push him away enough to whisper against his lips.

“What if he comes back soon?”

Namjoon leans back in to give you another kiss, speaking in between each one.

“He won’t. With his girlfriend. Don’t worry.”

You sigh into the kiss. Wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him in closer, your hands find their way into his hair. Namjoon smiles against your lips. His hands—which had been settled on either side of you to prop his upper body up above you—slowly make a home on your waist. He pushes your shirt up slightly to make contact with your skin. Your lower bodies are flush against each other, legs tangled as you make out on your bed.

There was nothing sensual or sexual to your actions. You both felt that it was better to take things slowly, especially when you decided to hide your relationship with Namjoon from your brother. It wasn’t that you didn’t want him to know, but neither of you found the right timing to tell him the truth. He was with his own girlfriend most of the time anyways.

Your door creaks open. Namjoon quickly throws himself off of you, startled by the sudden entrance. Your brother bores his gaze into both you and Namjoon.

“I thought you were with your cousin.”

Namjoon stutters, frantically trying to compose himself after being caught in such a vulnerable position.

“I can explain.”

“No.” Your brother is seething. “Get out.”

Namjoon gets up from your bed, making his way to his best friend. He approaches him carefully, as if he is trying to tame a wild lion.

“Dude-”

“Don’t ‘dude’ me! My best friend was feelin’ up my sister!” He gestures towards you. “Who knows what you would have done if I didn’t interrupt?”

Your brows furrow. Standing up from your bed, you point at him accusingly.

“B/N, it’s not like that!” you yell.

He doesn’t say anything as he shoves Namjoon out of your room. Before he shut the door behind him, he turns back to face you.

“You should be glad that it was me and not mom or dad,” he growls out, slamming your door behind him.

You can’t believe him. You were trying to enjoy a nice home cooked meal together for your anniversary, and he drops the biggest bombshell on you.

“You told him?!”

Namjoon stares at you incredulously.

“What did you want me to do?”

“Uh, I don’t know… Maybe let me tell my own brother on my own time?”

He tosses his utensils on his plate, throwing his hands up dramatically. You watch in disbelief as he pushes himself away from the table to argue with you.

“He barely even accepted the fact that we’ve been dating for a couple years now—behind his back may I remind you—and you expect me to just not tell my best friend that my girlfriend is carrying my child?”

“That’s exactly what I expected!” Your fist hits the table, making you quietly hiss out in pain. “This wasn’t even planned, and I don’t even know if I can handle having a kid right now! I’m still going through college, Namjoon!”

“So you’re saying that this was a mistake?” he asks.

“Of course it was a mistake!”

His angry facade drops for a split second. Enough for you to see the disappointment on his face. You don’t let your guard down, too angry with him to think about what you’re truly saying. It isn’t until he stands from his chair, presses his lips together in a thin line, nods once, and makes his way towards the front door, that you realize what you said.

“Wait! Joon–”

Before you can get up from the table, he shoves his shoes on his feet and walks out the door, closing it softly behind him. You messed up.

Eyes swollen, you hold your legs against your chest. The movie playing on the tv does nothing to distract you from your racing thoughts. Were you done? Was this the final straw that breaks your five year long relationship?

It had been hours since you last saw Namjoon. Despite the anger that ran through your blood at dinner, you worried about him. He had never walked out on you like this before, and he didn’t even take his phone or keys with him. Usually after your petty arguments, Namjoon or you would step into another room to take a breather before ultimately coming back together to talk things through better. But the fact that he was outside, in the middle of the night, walking the streets of the new city you moved to, you weren’t sure if he’d come back.

Finally, another hour or two later, the door swings open. You watch as Namjoon walks quietly back into the house, possibly not to disturb you if you somehow managed to fall asleep. You sniff, catching his attention.

“I didn’t think you’d be back,” you mutter, turning off the tv.

“I live here, don’t I?”

He makes his way into the living room. He settles himself into the cushions on the other side of the couch you were on. You give him a moment to get a little more comfortable—if that was even possible with how much tension there was between the two of you—before speaking up.

“Look, about earlier–”

“You don’t have to say anything,” he interrupts. He leans his elbows against his knees, keeping his eyes trained on the carpet beneath his feet. “I get it. You’re the one carrying the baby, so you can ultimately decide what you want to do. And I should have said something to you before going to your brother.”

You shift your position to match his. Rubbing your hands against your face, you sigh.

“No. That’s not what I was going to say. I just– I’m scared, Joon,” you whisper. “We didn’t plan for this to happen and now that this is happening, that I’m growing a life as a result of us being a little reckless, I don’t know how we’ll do it. I’m still in school and you just graduated. We still have so much ahead of us. But I don’t want to lose this baby.” Glancing up from the ground, you look over to where Namjoon is sitting. His body is still in the same position, but his head is turned to face you. “I don’t want to lose you. And you telling my brother just made me realize how real our situation is. I wanted to make sure that we were going to go through with this before going to him. I don’t want him to see me as his little sister who somehow seduced his best friend into being in a relationship with her and now he can’t get out of it because there’s now an unplanned addition into the mix.”

Your eyes begin to tear up at the thought of your brother berating you for becoming pregnant without proper financial or physical protection. Who’s to say that Namjoon wouldn’t get up and leave you any chance he got?

When you look back towards Namjoon, you let the tears fall. He looks at you with so much love and understanding that it’s much too overwhelming. When he notices you crying, he doesn’t hesitate to open his arms and turn his whole body towards you.

“Come here.”

You throw yourself into his arms and he pulls you as close as physically possible. He lets you cry it out for a few moments as he caresses your hair, rocking the both of you gently.

 “You won’t lose me,” he murmurs. “And I’ll do whatever it takes to not lose the baby. I’ve got a few interviews lined up the next few weeks that will hopefully get me into my career. And then I’ll be making enough for the three of us to live comfortably. You don’t have to work if you don’t want to. And your brother,” he paused for a second. “He isn’t the stupid high school boy that he was. I’m sorry that I didn’t talk to you before going to him. But do you want to know what he told me?”

You hum, moving your head to meet his gaze.

“He told me that he was glad that I am the one taking care of you. Especially when he couldn’t or didn’t while growing up. He said that it was shocking at first, just because he found out so suddenly that day, but he knew that we would eventually recognize our feelings for each other.”

You press your face into the crook of his neck. Namjoon shifts the both of you so that you lay on top of him. One hand brushes through your hair while the other caresses your waist. Your own hand finds Namjoon’s waist, pushing up his shirt to make contact with the skin of his stomach. Your thumb rubs circles against him.

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?”

“You don’t have to,” Namjoon chuckles. “I can see it everyday.”

Pop!

The cork flies out the bottle, landing among the crowd. Namjoon sheepishly laughs as he gets a playful yell of his name from his cousin, where the cork landed.

Carefully he pours you a glass of champagne before filling up his own flute. You raise your glass, clinking it with his before downing the drink. The sound of the shutter from the photographer you hired can be heard amongst the chatter between guests. You’re sure that they got a good picture that you’ll search for later.

“I would like to raise a toast to the two people I love the most.” Your brother’s voice booms over the crowd, catching everyone’s attention. “My little sister and my best friend. I am so happy to see that they are still going strong after so many years. They’ve had their ups and downs, but I can see it when I look at them that no matter what happens, they will be able to figure it out. To the happy couple! And maybe you can bring me back another niece or nephew after the honeymoon!”

Laughter rings out amongst your friends and family. You glare at your brother playfully, sticking your tongue out at him. He laughs, returning the favor, before making his way back to your family’s table.

The night is filled with dancing and partying. You couldn’t have imagined a more perfect wedding for the two of you. Seeing your friends and family happily join in on the activities of the night makes your heart flutter with joy. This was the moment you’ve waited for for such a long time. Being able to marry your best friend and the love of your life was something you only dreamed about. But ever since falling in love with Namjoon, you knew that your dreams would come true one day.

As you’re talking to a couple of the guests that linger at the end of the reception, thanking them for coming, Namjoon slips his hand into yours. You glance at him, watching as he nods towards the photo backdrop you had set up for wedding pictures. Wishing your guests a good rest of the night, you follow Namjoon’s lead.

A whine has you turning to see your son in your mother’s arms. He reaches out to you and you coo at the sight.

“Seungjin, are you ready?”

His giggles fill the room as you take him from her arms and move over to the backdrop where your husband is waiting and watching you lovingly. As you step up beside him, the photographer readies their camera. Namjoon’s arm wraps around your waist, pulling you closer. He looks into your eyes, smiling, dimples on show.

“I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you.”

Seungjin whines in your arms and you chuckle. You look down to find his lips in a tiny pout.

“And we love you, too.”

He smiles, showing his own dimples, as you kiss his chubby cheek.

You wouldn’t have it any other way.

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[miyagihawk]

why’d you only call me when you’re high? pt. 2 | eli “hawk” moskowitz x reader

part one

here’s part 2 by popular demand! based off the arctic monkeys song and amazing request by @deadbeatharlz <3 thank you guys for the support on part 1 im so happy you liked it :)

warnings: self harming behavior, LOTS of swearing, alcohol and drug abuse, sooo so angstyyyy buckle up

summary: it’s been 3 months since your last night with hawk, and you haven’t been yourself.

word count: 3,062



The past 3 months have been rough. Maybe the worst you’ve ever been. You fell into the deep hole that you dug yourself. The hole of loving Hawk Moskowitz.

You never thought you’d be one of those people who let unrequited love devastate their whole being. In fact you always thought the whole heartbreak thing was pathetic and melodramatic. Until it happened to you.

You hate yourself for letting him have this effect on you. But there’s a pestering voice in the back of your mind that reminds you: it’s all your fault. He didn’t ask you to love him. It’s just easier to blame him for your downfall.

Parties, drugs, alcohol. Sex with people you don’t even know. High on the same drug that compelled him to call you in the night.

You’ve become so desperate to forget him that you ruined yourself. It hurts your pride to be the whiny heartbroken girl who let a stupid boy’s rejection shatter her self worth. But the hole is too deep and there’s no hope trying to grasp onto the dirt walls to get out.

The worst part of it is that he sees it all. At school, (if you even go) he looks at you like the scum of the earth as he passes by with his little karate gang. When you end up at the same party, he’ll have a disgusted expression on his face and leave as if he can’t bare to look at you. 

Tonight is one of those nights, and you watch him from across the backyard as he goofs around with his friends. He hasn’t noticed you yet, hence why he’s even still here and not on his way out the door to get away from you.

“If you stare at him any longer, I think he’ll shoot up into flames,” your best friend Robby hands you a cup, and you don’t hesitate before downing its unknown contents. The burn in your throat makes you hum with content.

“That’s the plan,” you take your eyes of off Hawk to look at Robby. You gesture to his own cup in his hand, “Are you gonna drink that?”

“Easy there, Y/N. We got here 5 minutes ago,” he warns, but holds out the drink towards you anyway. Robby’s always been worried about you and your habits, but he knows how you can be when you’re told no.

You swallow down the drink in a few seconds, ignoring his remark. “5 minutes? I can beat my record!” you cheer sarcastically, and start walking to the kitchen in search of a keg. Robby follows closely behind you, a wary look on his face.

The fuzzy feeling starts to take over your body as you throw back drink after drink. It’s the buzz you crave every second of every day because it just makes you feel so good. Everything is happier and your cares feel so far away. Hawk feels so far away.

You sit on the couch next to Robby in your dazed trance, drunkenly rambling to him about random things. He glares at anyone who comes near you and looks like they would take advantage of you in your state.

Robby really hates you like this, but he can’t help but feel protective over you. He’s not even a fan of parties; he really only goes to keep an eye on you. You’re grateful even though you act like you hate it when he babysits you.

“Heyyy pretty Y/N! Want some?” Yasmine approaches where you sit, a joint held between her fingers. Her eyes are drooped and she sways as she stands.

You reach out to take the blunt, but you feel Robby push your arm down. “You’re already drunk. That’s enough,” he says sternly, making you roll your eyes.

“I can do what I want, Dad,” you taunt, and take the joint from Yasmine. Smoke fills up your lungs, immediately giving you pleasure. Robby just shakes his head in disapproval as the air around him becomes hazy.

“I’m going to the bathroom. Stay here,” he orders, getting up from the couch.

You nod, but of course, you don’t listen. The sound of splashing from outside sets off a lightbulb above your head and you feel like you’re floating while you walk to the backyard.

Right as you step out of the house, you make eye contact with none other than Hawk. He gives you a distasteful look like always, before turning back to his group. Asshole.

You just scoff and stumble towards the pool, where a couple is making out and a few people are drunkenly playing with the water like little kids.

Reaching the edge of the pool’s rim, you let yourself fall in with a splash. You feel the pressure in your ears start to build as you sink to the bottom. Maybe it’s the fact that you’re cross faded, but being underwater feels like a world of bliss.

The loud music of the party is muted, creating a sense of serenity. The legs of the other people in the pool make you laugh to yourself, sending bubbles from your mouth to the surface. It’s glittery and pretty and you want to stay forever.

You don’t know how long you’re under there for, but you don’t notice your lungs running out of air. It just feels good to be alone for a second. Next thing you know, you feel your eyes start to droop closed; a strange peace overcoming your body.

A loud thrashing noise in the water makes you wake up with a gasp. You swallow too much water as you feel someone grab hold of your arm. It’s all a blur and you’re being pulled up to the surface, taking you away from the tranquil world you were just in.

The music is pounds against your ears again and the air is cold on your skin. You feel your body being laid down on the concrete of the poolside, but everything feels numb. You just feel sleepy and you want to close your eyes again.

“Y/N, hey, wake up. Wake up,” a voice makes your eyes shoot back open. Someone is looking down at you, with a hand shaking your shoulder. Your vision is somewhat blurry, but the mohawk gives it away. It’s him.

You suddenly become aware of the large amount of water in your lungs and you turn over to your side to cough it up. After you get it all out, you notice the people at the party looking at you with eyes of pity mixed with judgement.

“What the fuck were you doing? You could’ve died, are you fucking stupid?” Hawk curses, but even in your inebriated state you can hear a hint of worry in his voice.

You sit up to face him. He looks angry; his clothes and hair are as wet as yours.

Maybe it’s the lack of oxygen in your brain, or maybe it’s the marijuana and alcohol, but you just feel the urge to laugh. So you do. Like a complete maniac. The way he probably just saved your life like he cares is sickly comedic to you.

His face twists in confusion as you break out into a fit of giggles. “Are you serious? You’re fucking insane, Y/N,” he gets up, shaking his head at you. He gives a glare to the people staring, and they look away in fear.

You think he’s going to leave like usual, but he surprises you by grabbing your arm to pull you up. People whisper amongst themselves as he drags you through the backyard, going through a gate that leads to front of the house. You trip over your own feet, still feeling dizzy from almost drowning, but he just pulls you along.

“What are you doing?” you ask, tugging on your arm to try and release it from the tight grip he has on you. You’re both dripping chlorinated water, leaving a track of drops on the concrete below.

“You’re going home Y/N,” he says sternly. You two arrive at his car and he opens the passenger door. “Get in.”

“Hey!” a voice yells from the house and you both turn to see Robby rushing towards the car. He looks pissed, and now you remember him telling you to stay put. Shit.

“Robby I-”

“Don’t get in there with him Y/N,” he says, sending a death stare to the boy next to you.

“I’m taking her home, Keene, so back the fuck off. Get in Y/N,” Hawk snaps, clenching his fists.

You keep quiet, not wanting to add to the fire already starting. They loathe each other; if not because of the karate rivalry, then because of you. To Robby, Hawk broke your heart and made you spiral. To Hawk, Robby is the piece of shit who he thinks is your boyfriend, and he won’t admit it but he’s jealous.

“You’re not driving her, asshole. You’re probably as drunk as her,” Robby reaches to take your arm, but Hawk pulls you back.

“You don’t know shit about me, Keene. I’ve been sober for three months, so yeah, I will drive her,” Hawk picks you up like you’re a doll, placing you in the passenger seat and closing the door. You don’t resist, you just feel tired and your head starts to pound as if the mix of drugs in your system are punishing you. The window’s down, so you can still hear the two boys loud and clear.

I’ve been sober for three months, his voice echoes in your head.

“Oh so now you care so much about her? It’s your fault she’s like this!” Robby raises his voice even more, starting to move towards Hawk threateningly. You begin to feel scared that a physical fight might actually break out, but you don’t know what to do.

“I’m not the one who almost let her die a few minutes ago, am I? Just fuck off, we’re leaving,” Hawk dismisses him, walking around the car to the driver’s seat. You’re surprised by his self control to not throw a punch, especially with his reputation.

“Robby, it’s okay. I just want to go home. I’ll call you, alright?” you reach your hand out of the window in reassurance and he takes hold of it. Hawk clenches his jaw as he turns on the engine.

“Promise you’ll be careful? I’m sorry I left you,” Robby furrows his eyebrows in worry. When he came out of the bathroom, someone filled him in on what happened to you and he almost had a heart attack.

“Promise. And it’s my fault,” you hook your pinky with his, before the car pulls out of the curb and separates you from your best friend. He watches you guys drive away, an anxious expression etched on his face.

The whole situation has sobered you up pretty well, and now you’re left with a throbbing headache, wet clothes, and awkward tension. You hate it. Being sober. You miss the foggy feeling that prevents you from thinking too hard about things. But now you’re inches away from the boy who broke your heart, all by choice.

You don’t know why you agreed to go with him, but did you even have a choice? You’re confused by his actions. He acts like he hates you but he jumps in a pool for you. He yelled at you but he’s driving you home. It all makes you overthink and it causes your head to ache even more.

You hold your head in your hands to try and ease the pain as Hawk drives quietly.

“You good?” he breaks the silence. His voice is softer compared to how he talked to Robby minutes ago.

“Head hurts,” you mumble.

“What were you doing back there? If I didn’t get you out, you’d probably be in the hospital right now,” he says. You peek at him through your hands and his eyes are on the road.

“I don’t know,” you sigh. “It was just peaceful. I didn’t really even think about breathing.”

He scoffs. “Well that’s just fucking stupid. You’re lucky I noticed you were under for so long.”

“Well thanks,” you reply quietly, feeling like a little kid being scolded.

There’s a couple beats of silence before he speaks, “What happened to you?”

The question makes you sit up and look over at him. “What are you talking about?”

“The old Y/N wouldn’t even touch a drink. You’re different,” Hawk taps his finger on the wheel in thought. His icy blue eyes quickly glance at your confused look before returning to the road.

“You happened, Hawk.” You pinch your temples in frustration. Anger starts to bubble up in your stomach at his criticism. At the mention of “old you”.

“I didn’t do this to you,” he shakes his head, as if trying to convince himself of his own words.

“You did,” you raise your voice, making him flinch. “You know it.”

“What, because I stopped sleeping with you? I didn’t make you fall in love with me, Y/N. You did that to yourself,” he spits, sending a knife to your heart and making you see red.

“You knew I loved you way before I said it. But you still stringed me along, didn’t you? You knew I would pick up everytime you called. You knew that I would let you into my bed because I was the girl who loved you no matter how fucking shitty you were!” you fire back, vomiting out words that you’ve wanted to say for months. The alcohol in your system makes you bolder than usual, but you’re grateful for it.

He’s at a loss for words at your outburst so you continue, “I didn’t ask for this Hawk. Loving you. I’m sorry that I’m such a burden and that you hate me so much that you can’t stand being in the same room as me. But please just answer me this and I’ll leave you alone forever. I’ll leave when we show up at the same party and I’ll even hide in the halls so you don’t have to see my face.”

You pause, choking on your words. You didn’t even realize that the car is already parked in front of your house and your clothes are halfway dry.

“Why don’t you love me?” your voice cracks as you spit out the question that has caused you to throw yourself away. The question with an answer that could dissipate your self worth in a mere moment.

Hawk finally looks into your glassy eyes with shock. He could’ve never anticipated what you asked him and his mouth runs dry.

“I told you, I- I don’t deserve someone like you loving me,” he swallows, but you shake your head.

“That’s not what I asked.”

He blinks slowly, trying to come up with an excuse. Any excuse, to avoid telling you the truth. You can see the inner conflict on his face, the panicked speed of his running thoughts.

“You should go home, Y/N,” he deflects, turning away from you. Putting on his mask to keep you from reading him like a book.

“I’m not going until you tell me,” you demand.

“Just get out of the car, fuck!” Hawk yells, slamming his hands down on the steering wheel. It makes you jump a little, but you’re too angry to fear the flames in his eyes.

“Why can’t you just tell me!” you fire back. “You came to me almost every night, so why do I feel something that you don’t? Is it me? Is there something wrong with me?”

“What do you want me to fucking say Y/N! That I do love you? Fucking fine. I love you. Is that what you wanted to hear? Just get out.”

I love you.

The same words you said that made him leave.

“You don’t even mean that,” you blink back your tears.

His voice is softer now, more gentle. “If I didn’t mean it then I wouldn’t have said it.”

“You said you needed me and then you left me,” your voice shakes and you hate how pathetic you sound.

“I-I didn’t leave you,” he stammers before taking a deep breath. “I left because you wanted something more than I could give you. I would’ve felt like a selfish asshole if we became more than just sex, Y/N. You deserve someone like Keene and yeah he’s a pussy but he’s good. Better than me.”

It feels like every piece in the puzzle is being put together. Everything makes sense. He does love you, but he was just afraid. He can’t be near you because it hurts too much to see someone he can’t have. Somehow, you can’t find the anger you’ve held against him for these past months; you just understand him now.

“I’m sorry, alright? For everything. For treating your feelings like shit. All of it.”

You swallow, thinking about his words. It all feels too much and the truth is now looking you in the eye, demanding an answer. You love him, but he dropped your heart on the floor for you to pick up every shard. Is one sorry going to magically fix everything?

“I- I don’t know what to say,” you admit, and he nods in understanding.

“You don’t have to say anything. Let’s just... move on. And you get better... I hate seeing you like this,” Hawk scans your red eyes and dilated pupils. “We’ll get to a better place and you and me, we’ll be good.”

It’s bittersweet, but he’s right. Being together now just because he loves you back would be a huge jump that would only end in broken hearts and toxic cycles. It would be foolish. As much as you want him, the only person who can fix you is yourself.

So it’s a meet up at the top of the mountain, when you’ve both made the journey from opposite sides.

“A better place,” you reiterate, before placing a light kiss to his cheek and leaving the car with a new sense of closure.

a/n: that was longer than i planned and a freaking roller coaster!!!!!!! im not sure if there should be a part 3? lmk what you think maybe it’ll just be short. but hehe i added robby into the mix he was so cute. ty for reading!

taglist for people who wanted part 2 :) ty friends for the support <3 @littlered6307 @deadbeatharlz @spiderman-berries @axastasiasstuff @r0-xie @estupidteen @hawkwhore @idkwhatishouldput4

[brunchbitch]

update!

thought i would do an update as it’s been forever since i’ve done one.

so the school year is finished - i successfully completed my first year of full time grad school! going into last year, i had some doubts about whether i would be able to make it the whole year without going into the hospital, but i did it! i’ve also REALLY worked hard on my perfectionism this year... mostly, to be honest, bc of smoking weed. there are obviously many cons to how frequently i’m using marijuana, but for where i am right now, it has been soooo helpful in allowing me to chill the fuck out. my anxiety and perfectionism just really decreased overall. like i would have the option of reviewing and making minor edits to my papers for the 30th time, or i could go smoke a joint with A and settle for what might be less than perfect (but honestly my grades really didn’t suffer compared to when i wasn’t smoking weed). i don’t want to get anons telling me that it’s bad i’m using marijuana regularly so go ahead if you want to, but i’m gonna delete them. i’ve been talking to B a lot about the pros and cons, he is fully aware of how much and how often i am using, and we are working on harm reduction plans to decrease the frequency/amount, but it’s really not my biggest concern right now.

behaviorally, i am doing really well. i haven’t self harmed in a year and a half now, though i had several nights in a row last week where i had intense cutting dreams and i really really miss it, that quick sense of exhilaration and relief. there’s really nothing else like it. but i’ve been able to avoid any lapses. ED wise my behaviors are nonexistent. one of the cons of smoking so much weed is that i get the munchies so badly so intuitive eating has honestly completely gone out the window. i’m eating a lot more than i need to and a lot of “unhealthy” foods, so i have gained weight, although the weight i gained at the beginning of the pandemic when i was smoking a lot has pretty much remained consistent since then. i also haven’t been working out at all since the pandemic started. i really want to get back into exercise and recently met with a personal training gym so i’m going to get into a routine this summer. i’m nervous but excited - the purpose is NOT to lose weight (though i would be lying if i said i don’t hope it’ll happen), but to just not feel winded after climbing a flight of stairs. i truly just want to feel healthier and stronger. 

most likely bc of the no exercise piece, my back has been BAD. that’s another reason i’m motivated to get back into exercise. i have never felt the type of pain i’ve experienced with my back in the last couple years. right now i’m in the middle of a flare-up which has been going on for about three days to the point where it wakes me up at night. i am sooo uncomfortable and walking around like an old woman lol. unfortunately, the back pain reinforces the smoking marijuana piece bc it really helps the pain! at that point, i don’t even care that i might get the munchies, i just want to stop hurting.

my internship from the school year, which i loved, asked me to stay on as a part-time case manager this summer, so i’m gonna work for them for about 8 weeks longer than i would have for just my internship. we are planning an event for world refugee day, which will be my last day, and i’m so excited to see all the clients and foster families gather together. the case manager who has been on maternity leave for most of the year will also be returning in june so i’ll be able to meet with her directly and update her on how our clients have been doing.

i am really excited about my internship for next year, but i am REALLY stressed and worried about my schedule. i’ll be at the internship monday through wednesday probably 8:30am-5pm. i really got fucked by the class registration at my school so i had to submit waitlist requests for all of my classes. as a result, i was put in four classes all on thursdays. so my day will start at 8:30am and end at 9pm. i will have a bit of a break after my first class where i would have time to go home and take a nap, but otherwise the three classes are basically all in a row. i genuinely don’t know how my back is going to handle it. it would definitely be nice to have fridays off (besides therapy and the gym and any other doctor’s appointments i would have), but i would much rather have one or two classes on fridays to lessen the stress of thursdays. there is an option to do a program modification request where i would take two of my elective classes next summer instead of in the fall, so i wouldn’t graduate in may, but i don’t really care about that. so i’ve been looking at the pros and cons of doing that with B.

therapy with B is going well. it’s such a different type of therapy since i was in the GR. i feel like we are much more collaborators than the dynamic of him being “in charge” of me, and it’s been really helpful and empowering. i’m so much more able to look at certain feelings or thoughts or experiences without the heavy veil of shame on top, and it has completely changed the way i think about my situation. in addition, i’ve taken a big step back from my family. it’s been really hard and i still feel some guilt about it, especially not really being a part of my nieces’ and nephews’ lives, but i also feel so much stronger and confident in my own opinions. there have been some financial situations in which i had to stand up to my dad and hold my ground despite his persuasion otherwise, and i’ve been proud of my ability to do that, though it does feel strange and “wrong” in some ways. i honestly think he’s a little baffled bc i’ve never really had strong opinions before in ways that run counter to his, or at least that i’ve never expressed them.

my sister in law, wife of one of Them, has been sick. she was diagnosed with narcolepsy type 1 so she has cataplexy attacks where like half of her face will be paralyzed and droop or she will lose any ability to move her arms or legs or speak. she was getting out of the car and collapsed and my brother had to carry her inside. my niece was in the car and she asked my brother “is mommy gonna die?” it’s really been hard on all of them, she is SO depressed, and there really hasn’t been any treatment that has helped her. my whole family is sort of surrounding her in support by watching the kids, bringing her meals, sitting with her, etc. and we had a zoom call recently (without her) to discuss how we can all contribute. which felt weird. but it’s also nice to not be the “identified patient” of the family anymore lol.

things with A are going very well :) we continue to talk about marriage and possibly having kids. i thiiiiiink there’s a proposal in the cards this summer, though i’m not entirely sure. he has helped me soooo much this year and i think a big part of my behavioral stability has been thanks to him. i feel so seen by and safe with him. 

luna and lia are doing pretty well, though luna has developed asthma so we’re trying to teach her how to use an inhaler, and lia has a bad habit of vomiting her food, even when we use a slow feeder (”licky mat”), but it’s possible she’s been nibbling on one of A’s plants which can cause vomiting in cats. so, small things, but having them be sick at all makes me anxious! i just don’t know what i would do without them.

hmm... i think that’s it! if anyone wants to ask me anything, i’m open! and i’m sorry i haven’t been active on here. not sure what my future usage will look like but i’ll keep you all updated!

[drcalmreid]

pretend - s.r.

pairing: spencer x female!reader

summary: angst/fluff - you and spencer are forced to go undercover together as a couple...weeks after you broke up

content warning: female unsub with female and male victims (tw: female unsub, female and male victims, drugging, murder, relationship issues/breakup, arguing) please feel free to let me know if I missed any others :)

word count: 2.7k

authors notes: “—” indicates a flashback; also this is my entry for @railmereid​’s 2.0k writing challenge! (congrats!!) I hope you all like it and good luck to anyone else who enters! xx

gif credit: @prettyboyspence��

YOUR POV

“You guys sure you’re okay with this?” Preteniss asks, while securing my microphone wire. I nod hesitantly, and give her a weak smile. She glances up at Reid who stands to my right, Rossi attaching his wire to his undershirt. Spencer smiles his classic tight-lipped grin and nods too. Four female victims have been found near Washington D.C., three of them being in relationships with wealthy men. All of the women’s boyfriends are also missing and have not been heard from since the women disappeared weeks before. All four of the victims were last seen at a local restaurant with their partners in the days prior. Rossi suggested Reid and I go undercover to see if we could find any new leads or even catch the unsub in the act. As partners, we have gone undercover a handful of times. As boyfriend-girlfriend, we were practically forced to go for any case that required it (Prentiss insisted it was only because we were the most natural ones to play a couple...but, I don’t buy it, I think the team liked the idea of forcing Reid out of his comfort zone). As exes, this would be a first…

“Alright,” Rossi pats Reid’s chest. “You guys look good, now let’s go get this son of a bitch”.

—

“Spencer, you’re being ridiculous.” I say dropping my go-bag on his leather couch. I turn on my heels and watch Spencer close his apartment door behind him.

“I’m ridiculous? y/n, you could have been shot!” Spencer says, grabbing his face.

“Yeah, Spencer. That's our job. You can’t expect me to not do my job because it makes you uncomfortable.”

Spencer laughs ironically and leaves his satchel on his desk, knocking over a stack of books in the process. He says nothing and disappears into his bedroom. “Spencer, c’mon,” I say following him towards the bedroom and he shuts the door before I even get there. “Spencer!” I yell, pounding my fist on the wooden door, but there’s no answer.

—

Spencer and I step out of the SUV into the cold Virginia night and instinctively I loop my arm with his. Spencer stiffens under my touch and I glance up at him through my lashes. He nods gently and I rest my head on his shoulder...just to sell it, even though I truly just missed his warmth. The cold wind bites at my legs exposed under my dress, I shudder against the cold and Spencer readjusts his arm and wraps my shoulders in his embrace. I blush and my heart begins to race. Our steps continue down the sidewalk, towards the restaurant in question.

Spencer places his free hand over my torso and muffles my wire, I glance up at him raising an eyebrow. “Do you think they know?” He whispers.

“I didn’t tell anyone,” I mumble back. “You didn’t want to, remember?”

Spencer coughs slightly and releases his grip on my microphone.

“Nice one Reid, next time you want to flirt with your girlfriend you don’t have to mute yourselves,” Prentiss chirps in our earpieces.

“Right, sorry,” Reid says, flustered.

“Baby, where are we going?” I ask and Spencer smiles. He used to love when I used this pet name for him, but now it hurts me too much to even think about.

“It’s a surprise.”

—

I wake up to the smell of fresh coffee and my back is pressed up against the wall. I had fallen asleep propped up against the wall next to the bedroom door, hoping Spencer would open it. Typically one of us ends up sleeping in the living room before giving in and crawling into bed with the other. Apologizes are mumbled between us and we fall asleep to the sound of each other's heartbeats. Usually when we argue it’s like a tornado: fast, centered around one thing, and usually caused by one of us spinning out of control….but this fight, I could sense it would be more like an Earthquake: seemingly from nowhere, groundbreaking, and dividing the land that was once so stable.

“You’re up,” Spencer says standing in the entryway of the kitchen.

“Yeah,” I say while standing from the floor, cracking all my joints in the process.

“I made coffee.” Spencer says as if it is more of a comment than an offer.

“I smelt.”

“So we’re really gonna do this?” Spencer asks, even though we both know it’s not a question. He sits down at the kitchen table and rests his mug down. I follow him inside the small kitchen nook and lean against the counter.

“Looks like it.”

—

Spencer and I sit down across from one another at a circular table with a booth curving around one side. The restaurant is dimly lit, candles flickering on the tables, red silk table cloths covering the tables, and well-dressed waiters and waitresses attend to each of the guests. It reminds me of the restaurant that we went to for our first anniversary, and I know it reminds Spencer too. He keeps his eyes down, glued to the table and barely looks up at me as I try to make conversation.

“This restaurant is beautiful,” I say, flashing my best smile. “I’m glad I dressed up. You remember this dress? I haven’t worn it in forever.”

Spencer clears his throat and finally looks up, “of course I do, baby.” My heart practically jumps to my throat. “You wore it on our first date.”

“Yeah, I did” I look down at the simple, black lace dress I have on and play with the seam. Our waitress approaches the table just as Spencer is about to speak up again.

“Good evening, I’m Lydia and I will be your waitress tonight, can I get you started with our wine-”

“No,” Spencer cuts off the waitress in the middle of her rehearsed speech.

“Spence,” I shoot him a look across the table. I smile at the waitress, “We’ll both just have water, thank you.”

“Okay,” Prentiss speaks to both of us through our earpieces. “If we are right, the unsub should approach your table and try to initiate a fight between the two of you. Think you can manage that?”

“Oh, we can manage.” I say glancing up at Spencer, who’s already staring at me from the other end of the dining table.

—

“No, y/n you don’t get it, do you? God, you’re so stubborn. I can’t watch you get hurt! It will kill me, don’t you understand that?” Spencer yells, pacing around the small kitchen.

“Spencer,” I reach out for him, but he brushes past me. “Of course I get it…but it’s my job. I don’t know what you want me to do. You, of all people, know what this job requires. I can’t just not go on missions because my boyfriend doesn’t want me hurt. How do you think I feel when you go on cases without me?”

“That’s not the point,” Spencer yells, running his hands through his hair. “You went into the unsub’s house, alone-”

“You were there,” I suggest, leaning towards him.

“Outside y/n,” Spencer spits, his word laced with venom. “You were unharmed, unprotected, and out of reach! What if something happened?”

“Well,” I say rubbing the sides of my arms. “Nothing did.”

“I can’t keep doing this,” Spencer says sitting down again at the kitchen table. “I can’t, y/n.”

“What- what are you saying?”

“We can’t be together if all we do is worry about each other,” Spencer looks up from his empty mug to meet my eyeline. “It isn’t healthy.”

“So, you’re breaking up with me? This is really happening?” I ask, tears welling in my eyes.

“This isn’t healthy anymore, and you know it just as much as I do.” Spencer says, pain stinging more and more with each word.

I scoff at his words and actually feel myself begin to laugh at the obscurity of the situation. Dr. Spencer Reid, the only who willingly gives himself up to unsubs countless times, can’t handle it when his girlfriend does it once. A chuckle escapes me and I swing my hand across my mouth trying to muffle the sound. “Are you laughing?”

“I’m sorry, Spencer,” I say as the laughter intensifies. “But this is fucking ridiclous. I always thought if we ever broke up it’d be because one of us got murdered, not because we arrested one.”

—

“Excuse me,” a blonde woman interrupts, standing near our table. “Sorry to interrupt, I just love your tie. It really brings out your eyes.”

“Thank you,” Spencer smirks and glances at me. “She hates it, always thinks it makes me look like a stock broker.”

“Accountant,” I correct, taking a sip of my water.

“Sorry, an accountant,” Spencer says and smiles at the blonde.

“Seems like I brought up a sore subject, sorry- uh, have a nice night.”

“Morgan,” Prentiss whispers through our headsets. “Keep eyes on her.” Morgan and Tara sit just across the restaurant at the bar, with eyes on the entrance and exit points.

“She's sitting back down at the bar, I’ve got her.”

“We’re going to need more guys, we gotta get her moving,” Prentiss orders and I nod while setting my glass down.

“You know,” I say leaning forward, chest pressing to the table. “You only ever take me out when there’s something you need to talk to me about...so talk.”

“I- I just,” Spencer mumbles. “I know we haven’t talked much since,” he looks up at me and lets out a big sigh.

“What? Since you belittled me? Made me feel like I couldn’t do my job? Then?” I ask, running my fingers across the table, letting them rest just a few centimeters from his.

“y/n,” Spencer says, dragging out my name. He sits back in the booth and presses his back to the leather seat. “I never belittled you.”

“Sure felt like it,” I raise my eyebrows at him.

“You are so stubborn, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told,” I roll my eyes at him. My mind starts to wander back to the night that sunk our ship. The same points being repeated over and over, neither one of us backing down or admitting fault.

“I just wanted to protect you, I can’t see you get hurt.” Spencer says, his eyes glossed over and lip quivering.

“When you said you couldn’t do this anymore, was that to protect me, or you? Because based on what we’re doing tonight...seems like it didn’t work out for either of us.” I say standing up from the table.

“y/n-” Spencer starts.

“She’s on the move,” Morgan cuts into our earpieces.

“This was never about me was it? It was all just to protect you, and I fucking believed it.” I say, as the realization hits me. Tears sting my eyes and I choke the words out, “You never cared about losing me, all you cared about was how you would feel if you lost me.”

“y/n, please.” Spencer stands from the table and reaches for me. I shake my head at him and step back.

“Don’t touch me,” I say backing away from his touch, even though I want nothing more than to fall into it. I turn quickly and walk right into the blonde again. “Excuse me.”

The next moments run through my mind like a blur.

The blonde sat down with Spencer, ever so elegantly slipping a pill into his drink before Morgan and Tara were onto her, cuffs snuggly placed around her wrists. She didn’t resist, didn’t ask for a lawyer, she just smiled and asked if her ex-boyfriend would know she was arrested. Even though I tried my best to stop crying, my tears kept streaming down my face and neck. I gave up on wiping my cheeks, just letting the mascara stain my skin. The car ride with Reid, Morgan, Lewis, and myself is eerily quiet, no one wanting to say the first word… or address the sobbing undercover agent in the passenger seat.

“Good job you two, if you keep bringing in unsubs like this, we’re going to have to put you in the field more often. And that fight? Felt like you two we’re really in it,” Emily says and I flash her a quick smile. Spencer and I are at our respective desks, shoving case files into our suitcases in silence. We haven’t spoken since the restaurant and honestly I don’t know if I’m even ready to yet. “Anyway, have a nice night.” She smiles back at us while passing through the bullpen before heading out the doors.

“Thanks, Em. Goodnight,” I smile again as she exits, leaving just Spencer and I in the empty BAU office. I quietly grab my things and walk around my desk, heels in my hand, focused on the door.

“Y/n,” Spencer calls after me, just as I pass his desk, “please, wait.” I stop in my tracks, just a few feet away from his desk. I turn to face him and shrug my shoulders, indicating for him to keep talking. “I missed you.”

“Spencer,” I huff and set my bag and shoes down on JJ’s empty desk. “We’re always together. How could you miss me?”

“I meant, I missed us. Going out to dinner, laughing, just being us.” Spencer says, scratching the back of his neck. My lips curve into a weak smile and I nod. “Do you think we could pretend?” He weakly asks.

“Spence,” I half-heartedly laugh. “We just had a whole night of pretend…apparently an Oscar’s worthy night of pretend.”

“No no, I mean...do you think we could pretend that you don’t hate me?” He asks and his eyes are glazed over again. He blinks quickly to clear away his tears, but one escapes before he can hide it. “I never wanted things to end, I just- I was scared. I can’t lose you…” He says and I stand there silently, contemplating his words. “...and maybe that’s selfish...and I know that now, but I want to talk about this.”

I tug my lip between my teeth and take a deep breath. Silence settles between us for a few minutes as I keep my eyes to the ground, too nervous to look at Spencer.

“I could never hate you,” I finally say, stepping towards him. “Even if I forced all my attention to it and focused on everything that went wrong. I could never find it in myself to hate you.”

“You don’t hate me? You don’t hate me,” Spencer repeats almost like he’s solidifying it in his mind. He looks up at me through his curls as he sits down on the edge of his desk and collapses his head into his hands. I step even closer to him and place myself between his knees.

“Spencer, look at me.” I say and he blinks rapidly before glancing up to meet my eyeline. “I don’t hate you, the only thing I hate is how much I love you.” Spencer laughs lightly and a smile creeps across his face. “And for the record, I missed you too.”

Before I can say anything else, Spencer reaches forward and pulls me into his arms. His arms wrap around me tightly and hook together at my back. The shock wears off and I lower my hands to his head, pressing him to me. Luckily, he still sits on the edge of his desk, with me between his knees, otherwise I think we both would have collapsed into a puddle on the floor. I run my hands through his curls and I feel Spencer’s tears wet my dress. His grip only gets tighter and when I go to step back from him he mumbles a quick, “please”.

“Spence,” I whisper down at him. My fingers twisting in his chestnut curls, “we can’t stay here all night...we gotta go home.”

“I don't want to go home without you, I can’t- I-” He rambles, pulling away from my chest.

“So, don’t. Let’s go home.” I say and he smiles weakly up at me, I run my hand down from his hair and cup his cheeks. “You ready?”

He nods weakly and gives me a full-Spencer-smile, “let’s go home.”

—

OK YAY! I hope you guys liked this and it wasnt too confusing flashing back and forth, again congrats to @railmereid​ on 2.0k! :) xx

leave requests here! // masterlist

stay safe and wear a mask! -m

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Home Sweet Home: 112 Ocean Ave

Summary- 2.6k Andy Barber x You. You and Andy almost have it all, married and with a jointed family consisting of Andy’s teenage son Jacob, as well as your two younger children John and Cassidy. Looking to add another member, your family is in need of a bigger house, a forever home. You find just the place, 112 Ocean Avenue in Amityville Long Island.   Home Sweet Home

Written for @optimistic-dinosaur-nacho​ Spooky Scary Stories challenge. Divider by @firefly-graphics​

Warnings- swears, implied smut, mentions of murders. 

A/N- I chose Amityville Horror for the challenge because its one of my favorite Spook Stories growing up. When reading you will find a lot of similarities to the 2005 Movie, some of the scenarios and dialogue are specifically from that film. Other parts of it are from the book itself. The family name was changed for my own personal reasons. Happy Haunting!  🎃

Masterlist

You scrolled through your phone, double checking the address. “Andy it should be up the next couple streets. Lakeside.” You couldn't hold back the excitement in your tone, and Andy hit the blinker to turn down Ocean Avenue. 

“Babe, don't get too excited.” Andy tried to talk reason with you, his fingers thrumming on the steering wheel. “If it's too good to be true, it probably is.” 

You shifted over as much as you could, the Audi middle armrest keeping you from curling up into his side, but you could rest your head on his bicep. “Come on Andy, this might just be what we've been looking for. Good school district, excellent location, nice neighborhood, enough room for all three of the kids.” 

Andy tilted his head a bit to look down at you, his eyes softening around the edges as he finally smiled, you were so excited for this that it was hard not to match your enthusiasm. His hand released the steering column to take your hand, weaving his fingers through your hand, he let your hands rest against his lap. “You know Y/N, if this place is as big as what the pictures show, we could finally try for our own baby.” 

Wiggling your brows, you nuzzled his arm before sitting up. “I know Andy, why else do you think I want this place. Five bedrooms. It's perfect. Jacob can have a room to come home to when he comes and stays with us when he's not with Laurie. Cassidy and John each have their own bedrooms, and future little Barber Bean will have a cute nursery.” Your voice wandered as your gaze turned towards the window, watching beautiful homes pass you two by. Homes you never would have dreamed possible, million dollar homes on a lake. When you got the ping on your phone for 112 Ocean Avenue being lowered in price, you dreamed about the possibility of it. Then it lowered again, and you started to get hopeful. Then this last price drop, taking off another $30,000 dollar, you squealed in bed. Effectively waking Andy with a jolt, startling him. 

Now here you were, going to look at what will be your dream home, the perfect home. The forever home for you and Andy. Andy would probably scoff at you just knowing this, since he didn't believe in fate. But you did, fate after all was how you met the DA in a bar when you both needed each other in a dark time, and had fallen in love. So fate now was leading you here, to your and Andy’s new start in life. It could be a dream come true. You had enough belief for both of you.  

Suddenly a big white house filled your vision, and you glanced at the address on the GPS. “Andy, there it is! Look at it.” You said excitedly, and Andy slowed the car, pulling to the curb to lean a bit into the passenger side, looking out your window to gaze at the house, giving a small whistle. 

“Okay Sweetheart, I agree. This place looks nice. Too nice, are you sure that price is right?” 

“Yes, I double checked with the realtor when I called them last week. It's really the right price.” 

Andy straightened in his seat, and turned into the long driveway. “That true Honey, this is the deal of a lifetime.” 

You grinned excitedly, just about bouncing in your seat. Andy’s hand reached over, sliding his hand along your thigh before taking your hand, weaving his fingers with yours and giving a gentle squeeze. You knew that he was also excited now. 

When Andy pulled up to the house, the realtor waited for them on the front steps, clutching her phone to her chest and gave a smile. The kind a dealer who's looking to make a fast sale gives. “Welcome, I had hoped you all would be able to find the place easily. Magnificent isn't it? Built around 1910, the foundation is original, but all updated while keeping its original charm. Shall we go inside?” She dangled the keys and you with wide eyed enthusiasm nodded. Andy draped his arm over your shoulder, nodding in agreement. 

The realtor showed them right inside, bustling them inside as she shut the door. “As you see, lots of beautiful lighting, the kitchen has been all updated. The marble counter tops were just installed not even two years ago.” She clasped her hands together and kept a smile plastered on her face while you and Andy wandered into the entrance of the house, looking around. Andy’s head tilted back while looking for any kind of possible damage while you took a step or two on the stairs, and leaned against the banister. “What are you thinking Andy?” you wiggle your nose at him, and he glances at you, you can see him hiding a smile, and he stuffed his hands in his pockets, humming lightly while looking around once more before answering. “The entrance way looks nice, spacious. But I want to look over the rest of the house.” 

“Of course, if you come this way to the sitting room. Perfect for get togethers, children's sleepovers, family game nights. Do you… two have any children?” she flashed a toothy grin, and you wandered away from Andy a moment while he addressed the realtor. “Yes, Y/N has two smaller children, and I have a teenage son.” 

“How nice! Then this really would be perfect for living a family life.” she continued on while Andy followed her in, you waited a moment, then stepped away yourself, going the opposite way. You could still hear the realtor's voice, but you paid no heed. You already knew that this was home. You already could see yourself with a new baby on your hip, redecorating room by room. Andy would be able to set up a home office to work from. You might even be able to write that book you wanted. The kids would settle in, Jacob could come home on weekends from college, holidays the whole family could get together and everything you were picturing was the dream. 

Your dream and you hoped Andy's dream as well. 

Your fingers slid along the cool marble counters once you reached the kitchen, and looked around at the new appliances installed. You grasped the large kitchen sink, and peeked out the back window to see the lake view, catching your breath. Large old maple trees adorned the lake edge, and there was a boat house at the end of the deck. Could this place get any better? 

“Y/N?” you heard Andy coming up from behind you, the click of heels against the floor told you the realtor was right on your husbands tail when he entered the kitchen. Looking around, he gave a low whistle of approval. “Nice.” 

You spun and couldn't hide the grin. “Isn't it? Andy…” You gave a soft whine, and he hugged around you, shushing you in your ear a moment before turning towards the realtor. 

“Basement? I plan on converting it into a temporary office for now until we're settled.” Andy asked and the realtor turned around and opened a door, flicking on a light. 

“Go on ahead and look around.” She looked down the dark stairs and took a cautious step back, her voice wavering slightly. “I’m- uh- gonna just stay up here.” 

Andy walked past her, and you followed him, the both of you going down the stairs. Once you both got to the bottom, Andy looked around all the corners. It seemed dry, clean, and had all the usual things that made up a basement. “Yup, it’s a basement.” 

You leaned onto him a moment and chuckled. “You sound so excited Mr.Barber.” 

Up above them, the realtor said in her overly cheerful voice. “So what do you two think?” 

Andy arched a teasing brow and looked you up and down. “I think you look foxy in that skirt.” 

“Andy!” you hissed as you pushed lightly against his chest and started back up the stairs. He was right behind you and his hand slapped against your backside teasing before you two came back out in the kitchen. 

The rest of the tour went decent, the upstairs had more than enough bedrooms for everyone, closet space, the works. Even now Andy was getting a bit more on board with the prospect of buying this house, and you were sure he was going to give in. Your tour ended back in the main foyer, and Andy excused you two to talk a moment. He pulled you into the living room, sure to give you two enough space not to be overheard. 

“You really want this house Y/N?” his hands reached for yours and weaved your fingers together. “It will mean some sacrifices, because it's still on the high end of our price range, but we can do it.” He assured you, and you shuffled a foot back and forth while thinking about it. 

“I want to, Andy, I feel like this is the right place for us. It has everything we wanted and then some. I can see us being happy here.” 

That was all it took, Andy gave a smile and nodded in agreement, and you couldn't help the excited yelp, jumping into his arms, hugging around his neck and legs around his slender waist. The realtor with a look of panic came running around the corner of the entrance and put her hand to her chest in relief. 

“Were all happy then?” 

You grinned happily as you slid back to the floor, and Andy wrapped an arm around your shoulders. “I think we're ready to put an offer on it.” 

“Well, let me call my office and see about drawing up some papers.” She seemed to be relieved, and once you all were ushered outside, she closed the door firmly. Andy walked down the path a short ways, and turned around to look up at the expansive house, his hand rubbing at his beard in a thoughtful way. The largest purchase he’s made so far, but something was still bugging him about it. 

“Okay, what’s the catch with this place? I looked up what other listings go for in this area. None of them are nearly in such a nice location, or this size, and they are twice the price of this house.” When the realtor hesitated, Andy cleared his throat. “By law you're required to tell us if anything has happened here we should be aware of.” You suddenly could feel your heart sinking a bit at the realtors' crestfallen face. 

“Okay… There was a tragedy- a family was murdered here.” You gasped and the realtor continued. “But that was a long time ago, everyone in the town has moved on. Plus it's a house, a beautiful house just made to have a family in it and become a home. Why let one bad time ruin your decision? You will not find a nicer home in the area, that I can guarantee.” 

Andy took a deep breath and looked up at the house again, and you tugged lightly on his jacket. “Can we still? would it be too weird to live in a house where a family was murdered?” 

“Baby, it's not the house's fault. House’s don't kill people, people kill people. Trust me, I've worked enough cases to know.” Andy glanced down at you. “Would you be able to be okay with it?”  

You let it sink in, and you never had to find out the details honestly. You didn't want to know, you just couldn't let your dreams slip away by something that happened in the past. 

“Let's do it Andy, we can make a better story for this house. Our story.”

Later that night, you and Andy have just told the kids that they were indeed buying a house, and showed them pictures of it. After the two smaller ones were in bed, you and Andy were curled up on the couch, watching a tv show. Jacob was nearby on his phone, looking at the pictures he asked you to send him earlier. 

“This house is huge, way bigger than this one or the one Mom has.” Jacob happened to remark, and Andy nodded. 

“It really is Jake, and it's by the college you want to attend. Y/N and I were talking about it on the way home, and if you just wanted to stay with us rather than live on campus, you would save lots of money.” You nodded in agreement while Andy continued. “No rent, you just gotta help around the house a bit.” 

Jacob looked thoughtful at the offer you and his father was making, and he finally nodded. “That actually would be great guys, thanks. At least the first year.” He went back to his phone, and you hid a grin against Andy’s arm, both of you pleased that he was so eager to take up the offer. He might not be your son, but you cared for him just as much as either of your children. 

Jacob soon yawned and stretched. “Catch y'all in the morning.” 

Andy gave a nod and you yawned sleepily as well, but opted to stay right where you were. “Night Jakey.” You said, and he gave a wave as he headed up the stairs to the bedroom he shared with your son. 

It was quiet for a while before Andy kissed the top of your head, and you looked up at him. “Excited Baby?” 

You bit your lip and shifted to sit up more, pushing him back against the couch, and lifting your leg over his to straddle him while cupping his face. “Want me to show you just how excited I am Handsome?” your brows wriggled and his hands gripped your hips gently and tilted his head. 

“Think we're not going to get caught?” Andy said in a hushed voice and you tilted to look up the stairs, noticing all the lights were off. 

“We’re safe.” You giggled and covered your lips with his, brushing up against him with a soft moan. 

You were more than happy to show him just how excited you were. 

Later that night, when everyone was sound asleep, Andy eased out of bed, sure to make sure you were covered. Making his way down to the kitchen, he grabbed his laptop and started it up while moving to sit down. Quickly he pulled up google, and typed in the new house's address. Whatever happened wouldn't change his mind. But Andy liked to know what exactly he was moving his family into. 

What pulled up was horrific. Pulling up crime scene photos of the family who lived in 112 Ocean Ave years ago, he wasn't shocked to see splatters of blood across the master bedroom that would soon be yours, or the torn apart children's beds with holes blown through the mattresses. It wouldn't be the first time he's seen this kind of evil in the world with his work. Rubbing his hand against his chin in thought, his eyes scanned through the article. What he wasn't expecting was the oldest Deffor son, 24 named Ronnie was the killer.  

He had gone through with a rifle at 3:30 in the morning, starting with his parents and then moving onto his siblings. “Oh god.” Andy muttered as he read the details logged, the man claimed he was told to by a demon. Pushing back from his seat, just staring at the picture of Ronnie being taken out by the police, Andy couldn't look away from his eyes, bloodshot and wild. They bothered Andy to look at, imagining how terrified the children must have been to see their brother staring at them like that, from the end of a rifle. Reaching over to close the laptop, and cut off the pictures, he sighed. 

People kill people, the house is perfectly fine. Telling himself this, he put away his laptop and went back upstairs to join you again. You muttered in your sleep and eased back into his arms. 

[a-solitary-marshmallow]

Rewind Chapter 11 - Epilogue

“Will I remember any of this?”

Ford paused, hands stilling on his workbench as he considered the question. “…I don’t know.”

Stan swung his legs idly from where he was perched on another table in Ford’s lab, watching the nerd fiddle with his vials. One of them had a glimmering rainbow liquid in it that kinda looked like unicorn blood. “You said when I was an adult we were fighting. Do you think we’re just gonna keep fighting?”

“We’ll always be fighting a little bit.” Ford hedged.

“No, I mean real fighting. Not just arguments and stuff.”

“Then… no, not if I have any say in it.”

:readmore:

“Good.” Stan folded his arms. “Adult me kinda sounds like a jerk, so you gotta tell him I said to be nice. And you’ve been kind of a jerk too, so you also have to be nice.”

“I doubt a grown-up you will follow the instructions of a baby.”

“Hey! I’m not a baby!” Stan found a crumpled piece of paper nearby and lobbed it at Ford’s head. He missed, but it was the thought that counted. Ford let out a huff.

“Don’t throw things when I’m working with chemicals, Stanley. Unless you want me to spill it on myself and also turn into a baby. Then who would cure you?”

“Not a baby!”

Stan didn’t throw anything else, though. Only because there was nothing nearby to throw.

“I honestly don’t know how much you’ll remember.” Ford admitted after a while, twirling a test tube to mix its contents. It looked pretty boring for what was basically a magic potion, just clear and grey. It wasn’t even bubbling. “You might completely forget everything that happened when you were de-aged. In which case, I don’t know how I’ll explain everything.”

“Just start with the story of how I defeated an evil dream demon. It’s the coolest part.”

“It’s the most exciting part of the story,” Ford allowed, “But not the best place to start.”

“It’s the hook! That’s the best part of a story, you know.”

Ford lifted the boring test tube up to inspect it in the light. When Stan looked closer, it didn’t seem as clear – as he watched it was slowly getting cloudier, more silver than grey. He vaguely remembered something about that from science class – did that mean there was a chemical reaction? Or a physical reaction? He could never remember the difference between them.

Ford stared pensively at the vial, and after a few moments Stan cleared his throat. “Is that it?”

“Yes.” Ford started to turn to him and then hesitated again. “You just have to drink this to go back to your real age. I… hm. Are you ready? Do you want to have something to eat first? Or maybe go to bed and have it in the morning?”

Stan blinked. “It’s gonna make me older again, right? Why wait?”

“Well, I don’t know.” When Stan made grabby hands Ford relented and handed over the vial. It was cold to the touch, like it had just come from the fridge. Stan stared at the thick, silvery liquid and wondered what it would taste like. “When you touched water from the spring of youth you passed out for several hours. The same thing could happen now, so we should move you somewhere comfortable before you drink-”

Stan tipped the vial and swallowed its contents in one big gulp. Ford shrieked.

“Stanley! Why would you do that?”

It tasted kinda like dirty, metallic oranges and Stan screwed up his face. “Ew! Couldn’t you at least make it taste nice?”

Ford retorted something, but the sounds were a bit wobbly in his ears. Stan blinked hard to try and make his vision make sense. It was just a little bit off, fuzzy in the corners of his vision.

“…getting dizzy?” Ford’s voice swam through the air, thick and swampy, like Stan was breathing treacle. “…lie down…”

And then, quick as blinking, he was on the floor. That was rude, for the world to just flip over like that. Everything was clouds and Stan was very, very sleepy.

Something else was said, but he was too far away to hear it.

 _______________________________________________________________

When consciousness came – and it did come, as much as Stan wished he could sleep forever, dragging him up from the depths of hazy dreams he couldn’t remember – he knew exactly where he was.

There were soft sheets against his back, the faint whistle of wind through the pines outside, the taste of copper on his tongue. The spare bed felt smaller, now, and when his head shifted his stubbly cheek scratched against the pillow. It smelled faintly like dust.

“Stan? Are you waking up?”

Okay, that was Ford’s voice. But, there was still the possibility that this had all been a weird, vivid dream! That’s right, everything from the last couple days had been a dream. There were no gnomes, no dream demons, and in a moment Stan would open his eyes and be back inside the Stanleymobile.

He cracked his eyes open, blinking at the assault of light, and saw his brother’s face looking back at him.

…shit.

“Stan? Are you alright?” Ford was tapping his cheek, looking for a reaction. Stan grumbled and brushed him away.

“I’m fine. Hands off the merchandise.” His voice was rough with sleep, and Stan was almost surprised by how deep and gravelly it was compared to the childish squeaking he’d been doing lately.

Ford made a face, somewhere between worried and amused – an expression that Stan was familiar with from the last couple days. Dammit. He just had to remember all that. Ugh, and now Ford would want to talk and get all mushy.

“I’m fine.” Stan repeated, with nothing else to say. He got up on his elbows, and a quick glance around the room confirmed they were in the spare room he’d been sleeping in the last couple days. Still, he asked. “Where are we?”

“How much do you remember?” Ford asked urgently, making Stan blink. “Since you arrived here, I mean.”

“Uh… nothing.” He lied, like a liar. Ford’s face fell.

“…oh.”

Yeah, there was no way he could tell the truth here. He would die of embarrassment if he had to admit he remembered acting like a child and being all…sappy. Ford would look at him all weird and they would have to talk and that was just… ugh.

“Yep! I just remember getting here and then – poof! Nothing.” Stan went for a carefree laugh. “Man, did I get hit on the head with a coconut or something?”

Ford lowered himself onto the edge of the bed, looking crestfallen. “No, not quite. Do you – remember the argument we had?”

Nope, nope, feelings alert. Stan did not want to delve into that conversation.

“What argument? Probably about you being a nerd, huh? Jeez, am I hungry, you got any food in this joint?”

“Wha-”

Stan was already throwing the covers off (thank god he was wearing a nightrobe underneath, he didn’t think his pride could survive another hit). Ford spluttered as he got to his feet.

“Will you slow down?”

 ______________________________________________________________

After a couple tests which were obviously unnecessary (but Ford insist on anyway, the nerd) Stan was finally free to pull on some actual clothes and follow Ford to the kitchen. He hadn’t been lying earlier, hunger really was gnawing in his stomach, and he made a beeline for the fridge.

“-and so you were reverted back into a child,” Ford continued. The guy had absolutely no showmanship. Way to lose an audience, Stan muttered to himself as he grabbed the fridge door. He’d told him to start with the demon bit, but noooo. “That was a couple days ago. There have been some – well, it’s been eventful. I doubt you’ll believe me if I told you.”

“You’d be surprised.”

“By the way, my friend is on his way.” Ford added. Stan ducked down to inspect the fridge’s contents – at least it was better stocked than when he first arrived. He hummed in acknowledgement. “You – well, I suppose you won’t remember him. You’ll like him though. You did.”

“Is he a nerd liked you?”

Ford snorted.

Stan grabbed a box of leftover pasta and then went in search of a fork. “Well, let’s hope this Fiddleford guy can tell stories better than you, ya almost put me to sleep with the way you tell it.”

When he turned around, Ford was staring at him.

It took a moment for him to realize his mistake – by the time Stan opened his mouth to spew out some bullshit excuse, Ford was pointing an accusing finger at him.

“I didn’t tell you his name!”

“Yes you did!” Stan spluttered. “I mean, how else would I know his name unless you told me, huh? You ever think about that?”

Ford narrowed his eyes. “Stanley.”

“Stanford.” He parroted right back. The staring match continued for a few moments before Ford threw up his hands.

“Unbelievable! You’re such a liar.”

Stan took a large bite of pasta. Because he was hungry, not because he didn’t want to answer. Ford glared at him.

“I should have known you’d try to wriggle your way out of this. ‘I don’t remember’ my ass. What, were you just going to leave and pretend none of this ever happened?”

Stan shoveled more pasta into his mouth.

“Don’t think you can avoid talking with me. We are having this conversation whether you like it or not.”

‘No, we’re really not’ is what Stan meant to say. Unfortunately, the moment he took a breath to speak he started choking. Ford scowled and thumped him on the back as he coughed, getting bits of pasta all over the kitchen floor.

“Unbelievable.” The nerd said again.

 Well, so much for that.

  _______________________________________________________________

Stan squirmed under his brother’s glare – the whole ‘pacing and towering over him while Stan sat on the couch like a scolded child’ schtick was uncannily similar to what their mother would do when they earned her ire.

“So.” Ford began. “You remember childhood.”

“Yep.” Stan grumbled.

“Your adult life?”

“Mm hm.”

“The last couple days here and everything that occurred while you were reverted?”

“Mm.”

Ford stopped his pacing to turn to him. “Then why on earth did you try to pretend you didn’t? We even made up!”

Stan buried his face in his hands to try and hide its burning. “I don’t know! I knew you’d try and get all…” He shuddered. “Mushy. Feeling-y.”

Stan could just feel the flat look his brother was giving him.

“Okay, fine, look. You forgave me for breaking your project, I forgave you for being a jerk. We’re good. Now, I’m just gonna head home-”

“You’re homeless.”

“You don’t know that!” Stan looked up from behind his hands to see Ford folding his arms. “I could have a, a house, a mansion even!”

“You have a mullet.”

…okay, Ford had him there. Stan scowled. “What’s the plan then, smart guy?”

Ford’s eyes gleamed, and he immediately regretted asking.

“I’m glad you asked, Stanley! I’ve had plenty of time to think over these last couple days. First of all, the Duskertons are looking for someone to help around their store, and no one in Gravity Falls cares much about credentials – I’m pretty sure the man who works at the post office is just a bunch of gnomes in a trench coat ­– so your lack if identification shouldn’t be a problem if you’re looking for a job. There’s also Boyish Dan, his family owns a logging company and I’m sure you could get a place there if you wanted. You’re welcome to stay in my house for as long as you need – I’m sure there are some places in town if you want to rent instead, though. If you choose to stay I might ask for your help in some of my research, since Fiddleford has decided to take a break from studying Gravity Falls, which I don’t blame him for.”

Stan blinked, but Ford wasn’t finished, ticking things off on his fingers as he went.

“I’ll also need to keep you under observation for a while to ensure that there are no side effects from the fountain of youth water, so I’ll ask you to stay around for at least a couple days. If you decide to leave Gravity Falls after that period, you’ll need to give me your phone number so we can keep contact. Oh, scratch that, I’ll make a new one – I’m sure I can work up a design that isn’t as flimsy as the current models going around.”

“Uh-”

Stan was saved from having to answer (answer? There wasn’t much of a question but Ford was looking at him expectantly and he didn’t know what he was supposed to say) by a light knock on the door. Ford perked up and rushed to answer it.

“Am I intruding?” Fiddleford’s hesitant voice rang out. Ford shook his head and stood aside to usher the smaller man inside.

“Not at all, come in. It’s good to see you.”

Fiddleford stopped in his tracks when he laid eyes on Stan on the couch.

Ugh, he was already getting a headache. Now came the judgement. Stan looked like a mess, he knew he did – unshaven, with bags under his bloodshot eyes and ragged hair and old scars crisscrossing his arms. Some small, childish part of him wanted to jump up and hug the guy. Gross. Instead he shoved down the nervousness, stood, and gave him a lazy two-fingered salute.

“…Stanley?” Fiddleford tilted his head, eyes scanning him. Stanley shrugged uncomfortably. It was weird, towering over the small guy like this.

“Hey.”

“Well, you grew up big. The spittin’ image of yer brother.” Fiddleford gave a little smile and stuck out his hand. “Pleasure meetin’ ya, officially this time.”

“Eh, you too.” Stan shook the offered hand. It was small, frail, but gripped his firmly.

“So are you stickin’ around?”

Stan hesitated. He glanced from Fiddleford’s earnest face, to his own rough hand, to Ford’s careful expression – the look of someone trying hard not to look like they were listening.

“…yeah. Yeah, I think I’m gonna stick around.”

[xiaomomowrites]

home

Genshin Impact | TartaLi/ZhongChi

Summary:  “Home isn’t always a place,” he taps Zhongli’s chest, “home can mean a lot of things to different people. For me, my home is my family. Wherever they are is where my home is. And maybe that’s in Liyue, maybe it’s in Snezhnaya, or maybe it’s in Inazuma. Either way, wherever my mother is, wherever my siblings are, that’s what I call home.”

As Childe trails off, he’s suddenly aware of how he’s fidgeting with a button on Zhongli’s coat now. The tips of his ears turn red. He meets his gaze abashedly. “Does that answer your question?” 

Zhongli smiles fondly at him. “I believe it does. Thank you for indulging me.”

Or; Zhongli struggles to define what exactly “home” means to him.

Find it on Ao3!

This part takes place between act V and Zhongli, Come Down. I know I posted this series totally out of order, please forgive me for my lack of organization :,D

A/N: First of all, I finally have a beta reader!! She’s helped me through the process of writing this and I’m incredibly thankful for her support. I accidentally made her cry with this fic though, even if it wasn’t necessarily sad?? Regardless I appreciate her feedback haha. 

Oh my, I feel like I’ve been writing these two being really soft for too long. After this, I really need to face the music and write these two fighting. The time has come. They won’t be in the honeymoon phase forever!! I’m gonna vibe check all of you. 

Also, do yourself a favor and listen to the songs Home by Michael Buble and Sparks by Coldplay after or during you read this. You’re welcome.

Lastly, you can find me on Twitter @/xiaoscribbles where I’m extremely active and talk too much about Genshin. I love making friends there!

Enjoy <3 -u.n.

--

Zhongli never had a place to call home. 

Or rather, he never bothered to find one of his own and commit to it.

He was always too mobile, too nomadic. He had places to be, people and adepti to see, contracts to see through. Zhongli never found himself settling into one place for too long. Sure, when he was Rex Lapis, he had nested many times. He was a beast whose presence was too large to be confined into one space, so he would glide to the highest mountain in Liyue with ample space for a dragon like him, and settle. Zhongli remembered how he would make it as comfortable as possible for himself using all kinds of things he would pick up on his travels. A deep purr of satisfaction would rumble through him as his scaled belly would make contact with the coolness of the earth, and Rex Lapis would allow himself to relax against the stone, body sinking as if he were weightless. Although, no matter how he shifted, tossed and turned when he tried to rest, something was always missing. 

Even the familiar feeling of the Liyuan ground was not enough to fill the void in his chest.

It was satisfying, sure, but never completing. 

Hence, his lack of understanding of the human desire to settle down in one home for the rest of their short, yet meaningful lives. 

Were they not itching to get up and go somewhere else? See the world? Appreciate the land beneath their feet in all its entirety? Zhongli failed to comprehend. Even an ancient being like him fell short in understanding the idea of a “home”. 

Well, what consisted of a home, anyway? Four walls and a roof over their heads? A kitchen filled with food? A soft bed with layers and layers of sheets? What was the meaning of all that, when the true beauty of the world was beyond those four walls, high into the sky, and deep beneath the sea? What kind of pleasure could possibly come out of being domesticated? 

Nevertheless, Zhongli did make an old promise to try to understand humans as they were. So sure, Zhongli supposed he could appreciate the art of architecture. He saw how hard people worked to build these beautiful houses with intricate designs to maximize safety for the residents excited to inhabit them. It was endearing, Zhongli thought, how enthusiastic humans got about a house. The idea of settling down with their loved ones would give them so much serotonin, so much drive. It was inspiring to him. Zhongli had always hoped that one day, he could feel the same way about someone.

So why couldn’t bring himself to understand the joy in this “home” everyone spoke of? What was he missing? Was he missing the duvet? The one thousand thread count sheets? Was he missing the fine China he saw peddlers selling on roads far from town? Because he had tried his best, living in his mortal form, to find the simple pleasure in decorating his home. 

But no matter what he did, no matter how many throw pillows he placed on the couch, he simply could not deny the gaping hole in his chest when he went to bed at night. He had reached a point where even cooking for one every night upset him so, and he would go to bed disgruntled and hollow. The vast margins left on the king sized bed in the middle of the night kept Zhongli awake.  Though he did not even need sleep, he had tried his best to form what the humans called a “proper sleeping schedule”. Apparently, according to Hu Tao, sleeping at four in the morning and waking at seven for work was “not suitable”.

But in truth, what was he supposed to do? Pray tell, what could he possibly do to absolve the issue of the chasm growing in his chest with each passing night? 

“Xiansheng!” A jovial voice snaps him out of his reverie. 

Zhongli looks up from his mundane paperwork to see a familiar head of red hair bounding toward him languidly. Oh, what a sight for sore eyes.

“Childe,” he greets, “did you pester Miss Hu Tao into letting you back here again?”

“Pester?” Childe brings a hand to his chest to mock his hurt, “I hardly have to bother her to come back here. A simple ‘you look fantastic today’ is always my ticket in.”

Zhongli scoffs fondly. “How can I help you, Childe?” He sets his pen down and leans back in his chair, amber eyes following the Harbinger curiously.

“Well your break is in ten minutes, so I figured I’d come grab you for lunch at Wanmin?” Childe plants two hands flat on the cherry red oak desk and leans forward into Zhongli’s space. There’s his signature teasing smile spreading slyly across his face, the one he knows Zhongli won’t be able to resist.

Zhongli hums in approval. “Sure, let me just wrap up this last form and I should be ready to go shortly.”

Childe drops down to his elbows in response and rests his face between his palms. “You sure? We could just go now, you know. I got Hu Tao consulting Ying’er about the new fragrance for the next hour or so.”

Zhongli leans forward and meets him in the middle. “I must be responsible, Childe. If my lunch break is at noon, then I will not leave my post until then.”

Childe pouts, jutting his bottom lip out cutely in an attempt to convince him otherwise. Zhongli, immovable as ever, simply leans forward and captures his lips between his own. The Harbinger makes a happy noise in the back of his throat and presses closer, positively humming when the ex-Archon reciprocates. But the older man is quick to get back to work, pulling away as quick as he came, but not before he nips at Childe’s bottom lip. The ginger whines petulantly at the loss of contact. 

“Have a seat, Ajax.” Zhongli speaks, a hair’s width away from kissing him again. Childe grumbles, but agrees regardless. He seats himself in one of the plush armchairs located in the corner of the office and makes himself comfortable for the next ten minutes. 

Zhongli readjusts himself in his seat and picks his pen back up, glancing back down at the form he had already completed. He blinked owlishly at it. He must have finished signing it while Childe was talking without realizing what he had done. Regardless, he moves onto the next document to peruse silently. Mid sentence, he scoffs playfully, shaking his head at the thought of the ginger distracting him so. Is he even surprised at this point? Not even a little bit. The ginger has an incomprehensible hold on his heart, one that he doesn’t really want to shake off.

“Something funny, Xiansheng?” Childe teases from his seat. He’s reclined in his chair, relaxed, head lolling against the cushioned headrest. His eyes are closed and his shoulders are drooping into the leather. He’s relaxed, for once, and the thought of Ajax allowing himself to let his guard down in his presence makes Zhongli’s heart thump happily in his chest.

“Not particularly,” Zhongli pushes himself up with a groan. Goodness, his joints are getting tired. He pads over to where Childe is seated and forcefully makes room for himself on a chair that is clearly made for one person. Childe lets out a surprised yelp at the sudden intrusion but scoots over to make room, anyway. Zhongli makes himself comfortable by angling his body to where it’s being cradled by the junction between the armrest and the back, and opens his arms as a silent invitation.

Childe takes it happily and launches forward to burrow into Zhongli’s chest. He rests a gloved hand over his heart and snuggles closer, inhaling the deep scent of silk flowers and leather. Zhongli’s arms come around to strap him against his chest, gloved hands petting his sides as he presses a kiss to red hair. The contact immediately vanquishes the discourse in his mind. He squeezes him tight for good measure, forcing a grunt out of his Tartaglia. 

“Xiansheng,” he calls. 

“Hm?”

“You’re working too hard again.”

“Am I?” He questions absentmindedly. “And here I thought I was pulling my weight just fine.”

Childe snorts. “Pulling your weight? You know I make enough for the both of us. You could retire and stay at home, relaxing and reading books, or whatever it is you do at home.”

Ah, there it is again.

Home.

For the second time that day, Zhongli is struck with confusion.

“What is home to you, Childe?” He asks, voice soft and far away. Childe frowns against his chest in confusion.

“Home?” He parrots.

“Yes, home. What is ‘home’ to you, Tartaglia?” 

“Hmm,” the Harbinger hums, tapping a gloved finger against the ex-Archon’s chest idly as he speaks. “I suppose home is Snezhnaya. Home is what I grew up in. The unbearable cold and the old cottage house. Ice fishing with my siblings, massaging my mother’s back. Those things are all home to me.”

Zhongli ponders. Of course that is what home means. Familiarity, yes? So, technically, his home was Liyue. The hustle and bustle of trade by the harbor, the loud sizzling woks at the food stands, the loud marketers on the street that work hard day and night, the enthusiastic story tellers spewing exaggerated lies— that was all home to him. 

So why, then, was Zhongli still dissatisfied with this conclusion? Home should obviously be Liyue. He created this land with his own two hands. Gave people the very drive that keeps them alive today; he gave the idea of mora and fair trade and economic prosperity. He’s watched countless faces pass him every day, every year, every century. He’s seen new faces, young faces, old faces, familiar faces, too, the ones he had seen on older souls. Reincarnated souls. Zhongli knew those souls. He’s had dinner with many of them on multiple occasions. 

And it was no secret that Zhongli was well known in his hometown. Every business owner was familiar with his eloquent way of speaking and ambitious ways of buying. With the arrival of Childe, every business owner all but doubled their enthusiasm now that Mister Zhongli finally had a means to pay. People knew Zhongli, they adored him. They admired his amber eyes and long, beautiful hair, the ends of it looking like it had been dipped in melted mora. When he walked, people’s eyes followed. They would stare longingly at his beautifully crafted coat, his single earring, the fine leather gloves that cover his deft hands, and they would admire the way he walked with purpose, and with fire. A confidence so set in stone, it was almost difficult for one to even approach Mister Zhongli. For so long, he was considered Liyue’s most handsome bachelor, until of course Tartaglia came along and swept him off of his feet, capturing his attention in a way no one else could ever imagine imitating.

Yet, despite all the attention his people lavished upon him, there was always a nagging feeling of isolation nipping at him in the back of his mind. Despite creating the very ground beneath their feet, he simply felt like he did not fit in. Only when he was with Tartaglia did he truly feel like he belonged anywhere. It was rather inexplicable. There was something about the way Tartagali’s presence wrapped around him with a level of tenderness he had never experienced. It covered him like a gentle embrace, welcomed him without judgement, and loved him without expecting anything in return. The thought of Ajax himself made Zhongli’s heart swell

Speaking of which, the said man was now pressed tightly against his chest tracing lazy patterns into the fabric of his coat. Their long legs were tangled where they were dangling off the seat, with Tartaglia’s foot rubbing affectionately against the older man’s ankle. 

Oh, how far they have come. 

“But,” Tartaglia suddenly interjects, jolting Zhongli out of his thoughts. “If my family were to come here to Liyue to stay, then I suppose Liyue would be home, too.”

Zhongli hums. “Naturally. I’m sure they would find the variety of houses here in Liyue nice and peaceful, perfect for a new home.”

At that, Childe lets out a light laugh. “Honestly? They could live in a cardboard box in Inazuma, and I would still call that home.”

Zhongli frowns. Well now he’s even more confused than when he started. Since when was a cardboard box a suitable home for a human? It completely lacked all the appliances the houses here in Liyue had. Why would Childe settle for that? He of all people was aware of the love he holds for his family, there simply was no way he would call that a suitable home for his family. 

“I don’t understand,” he says instead, “a cardboard box, Tartaglia? You do not strike me as the type to settle for such an...unbecoming home. Especially for your family.”

“No, no, Xiansheng,” the Harbinger chuckles, sitting up slightly so he can look Zhongli in the eye. “I was just exaggerating. And, home isn’t always supposed to be a house, you know. Those two things can be mutually exclusive. Maybe not all the time, but, definitely most of the time.”

Well this was certainly new. Now he truly did not understand what it meant to have a home.

“Apparently I do not know.”

Childe sits upright to look down at the ex-Archon.

“Home isn’t always a place,” he taps Zhongli’s chest, “home can mean a lot of things to different people. For me, my home is my family. Wherever they are is where my home is. And maybe that’s in Liyue, maybe it’s in Snezhnaya, or maybe it’s in Inazuma. Either way, wherever my mother is, wherever my siblings are, that’s what I call home.”

Childe is aware he’s rambling, but he can’t help it. Once he starts talking about his siblings, he simply cannot stop. “It wouldn’t matter where I was if I couldn’t hear my siblings from the other room. If I didn’t wake up to Tonia’s loud blow dryer every morning, or if I didn’t hear Anthon trying to talk to her over the blowing, then it isn’t home. If I can’t hear Teucer’s footsteps coming toward me asking about a new Mr. Cyclops toy, it isn’t home. Not to me. But like I said, it’s different for everyone.”

As Childe trails off, he’s suddenly aware of how he’s fidgeting with a button on Zhongli’s coat now. The tips of his ears turn red. He meets his gaze abashedly. “Does that answer your question?” 

Zhongli smiles fondly at him. “I believe it does. Thank you for indulging me.”

Childe pushes himself up and off the chair, stretching and yawning obnoxiously. “Great,” he replies once his jaw finishes unhinging itself from that yawn, “let’s eat, I’m starving.”

—

To put it simply, Zhongli rethinks his definition of home all night. After he gets home from his dinner date (Tartaglia tugged on his sleeves until he agreed to leave his shift early in favor of a new restaurant that had popped up recently), he closes the door behind him to take in the composition of his home. Tartaglia had been the one to pick out most of the furniture, so although it lacked many of the traditional Liyuan decor Zhongli would have furnished the place with himself, it had a nice touch of Tartaglia everywhere he went. 

His couch, for example, was a deep mahogany leather that stayed cool to the touch despite the hottest of summers. Zhongli’s dresser was nice and tall, a deep chestnut brown cut from the forests of Snezhnaya to match his bed frame. His bed was elevated by an incredibly grandiose four post frame that hung a beautiful golden translucent curtain all around the bed, draping the perimeter and creating an ethereal atmosphere for when he sleeps at night. 

(“It’s kinda sexy, don’t you think?” Childe had asked one day, while he was pondering which bed frame to buy for his boyfriend. Not that he needed to, considering Zhongli finally has a stable salary, he just wanted to.

“Ajax,” Zhongli had said disapprovingly, “what about it is sexy to you? 

“I don’t knowww,” the Harbinger hums, “maybe it looks like I would feel like I’m on cloud nine when we’re, you know…”

“You can say sex, Ajax, I believe in you.”

“Oh stop that!” Childe whacks him playfully with the catalogue, “I’m being a good boyfriend and getting you a beautiful bed frame cut from the finest oak tree and sheets woven with high quality silk! You could be nicer to me, you know.” He’s pouting, and he knows it. Zhongli’s eyes soften.

Zhongli shakes his head, laughing. “You know you don’t need to do that, you know.”

“I want to,” Ajax persists, “this is your first actual living space as a mortal! I want it to be perfect. I refuse to have my boyfriend, who is a literal god, sleeping on a bed with no bed frame. Unacceptable.”

Zhongli smiles and watches him as he continues to ramble about all the different bed frames he could buy. Oh, his love for this boy knows no end.)

The hints of Ajax everywhere he goes is how he keeps himself sane each night. His possessive urge to be around him every second of every day (courtesy of being a dragon deity his entire six thousand year life span) is soothed with the smell of him on his sheets and the extra toothbrush by the sink. One of Tartaglia’s scarves is folded neatly on the arm of his couch, and during those nights where he truly feels Ajax’s absence, he’ll hold the red fabric close and breathe the scent in deeply. The smell alone is enough to rock him to sleep on some nights, but on others, it simply is not enough. On those nights, he finds himself reading book after book about Snezhnaya culture until he passes out from exhaustion. 

One would think that it would be better for them to just live together. Given that they spent every second outside of work with each other, even going so far as walking the long route home just to avoid saying goodbye, a person would look at the way they held each other close in public and think that they’ve been married for quite some time already. 

But alas, they had agreed to take their relationship slow in the beginning. The both of them had much to adjust to, given that one of them was a notoriously fierce Harbinger, and the other was an ex-Archon adjusting to the world without his gnosis. They both had complex schedules that they were much too familiar and comfortable with to just up and leave for another person. There was a certain period of time that they had agreed to spend apart, well, as “apart” as they could be, before they decided to do anything drastic, like move in together. 

There was too much to consider, anyway, Zhongli reflects as he gets ready for bed. Would their living habits even align? Would Tartaglia even be a good roommate? Would he take out the trash responsibly? As much as he loves the ginger with his entire heart, he doesn’t think he could do it for long if Tartaglia was the type to walk around with shoes on. Such an act should be considered illegal, anyway.

Waiting was the right thing to do. 

Right? 

The nights Tartaglia spent with him were the nights he could sleep a full, uninterrupted eight hours. They were the nights that Zhongli felt himself truly relax into the sheets and sink into a blissful sleep, knowing his beloved was being held impossibly close. And if nighttime was therapeutic for him, mornings felt ethereal. The mornings where he rose with the sun to be met with the sight of Tartaglia next to him were the mornings he felt like he could fly again, and soar through the open Liyue skies in his rawest form forever, so long as Tartaglia was with him. 

In fact, more often than not, Zhongli thought about the way it would feel to have Childe by his side as he explored the skies again. He would think about the way he would have to strap him down, nice and close so he doesn’t fall off his back, and then take off high into the sky. Not too high, lest he accidentally give his boyfriend a heart attack, but high enough to hear those delightful shrieks Childe will let out when he’s excited. He thinks about the way Childe could grasp onto his mane for security, hands threading through golden locks, legs tightening around his torso to avoid falling. Oh, he thinks about this a lot. 

But, waiting was the right thing to do. The last thing he wanted was for Childe to feel uncomfortable with the pace that their relationship was going and make him uneasy. Besides, just because he was a possessive dragon at heart, it didn’t mean Ajax was willing to cater to his needy tendencies. So, he promised himself that he would create a reasonable distance between them for the time being.

Why then, did he hate this distance with every fiber of his being? 

Why is the distance so unbearable, especially at night? 

Why is he so unsettled with the very few miles between them? It’s not like Zhongli is in Liyue and Childe is in Snezhnaya. Tartaglia is literally only at the inn. 

Yet he craves nothing more but to be close to him at all times. Zhongli’s skin itches with the desperate desire to feel him by his side when he goes to bed, when he wakes up, and all the moments in between. Does that make him clingy? Maybe. But old habits die hard. 

Zhongli huffs and looks down at his flattened pillow with disdain. No amount of fluffing will restore it to a state that is suitable for his likes. Even the elegantly woven silk night robe wrapped around his body offers little to no comfort. 

He glances at the clock. 

It’s only half past midnight. If all went well with Tartaglia’s shift, he should be home now, fresh out of the shower. 

Without thinking twice, Zhongli throws together an overnight bag and rushes out the door. 

—

“Coming, I’m coming,” Childe calls to the incessant knocks at his door. The knuckles continue to rap against the barrier, though, and Childe’s fingers itch to summon a water blade in the case that things go south. Considering that there is rarely anyone that would dare to disturb him at this time of night, Childe would say his precautionary measures are reasonable. He had summoned an angry water god, after all. It was only a matter of time before the angry mobs got to him. 

The knocks sound again, and Childe angrily ruffles his hair against the towel. If they could just wait one second, he could answer the door with dry hair, but no. Peace was not an option, apparently, and neither was a perfectly fluffed head of hair.

He stomps toward the door and swings it open, ready to scold whoever had—

“Xiansheng!” He startles when he sees Zhongli standing in the doorway, donning a simple black t-shirt tucked into high waisted pants that were loose and slightly flared at the bottom, and his feet were covered by simple strappy sandals. Childe vaguely remembers purchasing those pants for him when he had mentioned wanting more loose and liberating clothes. The ex-Archon looks good like this. He looks… impossibly soft. Vulnerable, almost. There’s a distant look in his amber eyes that has Childe mildly concerned, though. Childe tries to ignore the sudden urge to protect him to his last dying breath.

“What are you doing here?” He sidesteps and reaches out to drag his boyfriend in. “I thought we had already discussed you sleeping so late! I know you’re an adeptus, you don’t require sleep, blah blah blah, but still, you—“

“I missed you,” Zhongli stated so matter of factly. “I wanted to see you. So I came here.” 

Childe gawks at him and closes the door slowly. So he had just walked all the way here?! At this hour?! Goodness, the audacity—

“Xiansheng,” he whines instead, dragging the older man into an embrace. He wraps his arms around his neck and presses his cheek into his hair. “You can’t just say those things. It’s impossible for me to love you more.”

Zhongli holds him with desperation, welcoming the hug so enthusiastically that Childe knows there’s something to be said. 

“Can I stay the night?” The adeptus asks once they pull apart. 

Childe looks at him, dumbfounded. “You don’t even need to ask! Go, make yourself comfortable. Are you hungry? Have you had dinner?” 

Zhongli drops his bag by his side of the bed and takes a seat, still watching Childe with careful eyes. 

“I’ve eaten,” he answers carefully. “I just couldn’t seem to get comfortable at… home… so I came here.” 

Childe frowns, and joins him on the bed. He flips the covers open and clambers in, resting back against the headboard. “Not comfortable? Is something wrong with your place?” 

“Maybe,” Zhongli tries, “I really don’t know. Frankly I’ve been conflicted about… many things… recently, and I feel as if I have reached an impasse. I don’t know where to go from here.”

“Zhongli,” Tartaglia says, suddenly serious, “how come this is the first time I’m hearing of this?” His voice drops an octave, the worry seeping into his tone. 

Zhongli reclines and rests against the headrest, too. “I did not know how to express my troubles to you, mainly because I’m having trouble defining it myself.” 

Well, that’s fair enough. Tartaglia can’t find it in himself to be mad at that reasoning.

“Well,” Tartaglia begins, reaching for Zhongli’s hand and hugging his arm to his chest. He scoots closer and uses Zhongli’s shoulder as a pillow. “Why don’t you just start rambling and maybe it’ll come to you.”

“I think I have a vague idea, actually,” Zhongli adjusts himself to make himself more comfortable for Ajax. The both of them find themselves staring up at the ceiling as they converse. “Remember when I asked you what ‘home’ means to you?”

“Of course,” Tartaglia answers. Oh, he has an idea of where this is going.

“Well, I’m unsure of what it means to me.”

Bingo.

“What it means to you?” The Harbinger asks, craning his neck to look up at him. Zhongli hums, affirmative. 

“Yes, I’ve been struggling to define the term for myself. I’ve been observing others much more closely and how they define their own home, but I’m afraid it has made me more confused.”

Tartaglia juts out his bottom lip in contemplation. “What do you mean?” 

Zhongli takes a deep breath, a long explanation at the tip of his tongue. Tartaglia braces himself, as he usually does.

“Today you told me home was your family. Miss Xiangling told me home was her father, and the smell of their kitchen. Young Xingqiu told me his home was within whatever book he was reading, even describing it as his safe space. And Miss Ningguang, most peculiar of all, had told me home was when she was out at sea, but only when Captain Beidou was by her side. Mind you, I had fully expected it to be the Jade palace, considering the built it from the ground up.” Zhongli rambles, “and I just found it strange how so many humans find different definitions for the word home. Such a simple word, too, so imagine my surprise when I discover it’s true complexity.”

“I’ve encountered many things in my life, Ajax. I have met so many people in this lifetime and watched them grow, watched them die, and even watched some be reincarnated. But I think…” he trails off, and the warmth in his eyes glimmer as he reaches an epiphany. “I think I am struggling to define the term because I have never been presented with the idea of stability. Things are always changing. The world around me continues to warp and I have noticed, in my time so far, that humans find the need for stability and reassurance because of the nature of their short lives. That is where I am lacking.”

—

Try as he might, Tartaglia takes slight offense to his statement. 

Lacking stability? The thought was bitter on his tongue.

Was… was Childe not enough? 

No, no, he forcefully derailed that train of thought, he came here tonight because you’re the only thing he can rely on in his life right now. Show him that.

“Well,” Childe starts carefully, and thanks the stars that his voice is steady. “What about me?”

Zhongli makes a confused noise. “What about you?” 

“Do you consider me as a stable thing in your life?” Childe prods, digging his cheek deeper into his shoulder.

“Oh, absolutely not,” Zhongli snorts. 

Childe unironically feels an ache in his chest. He stills against Zhongli. Ouch. 

Luckily, Zhongli is at least able to pick up on his sudden discomfort, and he’s quick to follow up his statement. 

“You misunderstand, Ajax, you being wildly chaotic is a beautiful thing in and of itself.” Zhongli gently pries Childe off his arm to look at him directly. As expected, Childe is upset. He’s got the same glassy eyes he always dons when he’s upset, but doesn’t want to admit it, and his bottom lip is red and obviously bitten in an attempt to keep himself from feeling unreasonably angry. 

“Oh,” Zhongli coos at the sight, “I’m sorry my love, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“It’s fine,” Childe blinks hard, “I’m just being dumb.”

“You’re not being dumb,” Zhongli is quick to negate his self-deprecative tendencies, “I must have come off very harsh just now. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Childe thumps a fist against his chest, “it’s fine, really.”

“As I was saying,” the Archon continues, “nothing about my life so far has been stable, Ajax. Things are constantly changing. Time continuously flows, and it simply does not wait for any man. Unfortunately, I have seen many people come and go. And unfortunately, one day you will become one of them--”

“Zhongli stop,” Childe interrupts him. He’s angry, now. His brows are furrowed and there’s an evident frown on his face. There’s a slight scowl across his lips where there used to be a precious smile just moments ago. “What the hell?” He asks angrily. 

“Ajax,” Zhongli scolds softly, “it would be in your best interests if you let me finish.”

“Well, not if you’re just gonna talk about death,” Childe retorts. He’s aware that he sounds childish, but such a topic is not to be taken to lightly. Especially when it revolves around him, and what he would be leaving behind. The thought makes him sick to his stomach.

“Whether or not you’re stable, whether or not you’ll be here forever, you are the most important thing to me, probably ever.” He speaks with a certainty that makes Childe shiver. “You are the first person in a very long time that has made me want to try to grasp at the fleeting seconds I have with you, Ajax. You drive me crazy. And I love you for it, because never in my six thousand years have I had as much fun as when I am with you.”

Dammit, Childe is crying now. Zhongli has such a way with words, how could he not? Dating him is just one, huge, glorified emotional rollercoaster. Zhongli brushes a stray, reluctant tear away with the pad of his ungloved hand. 

“Frankly, stability is overrated,” the ex-Archon smiles at the soft giggle that escapes his beloved’s lips. “I have found, albeit slowly, that I would rather have someone loud and rambunctious than someone slow and settled. That is my role, if anything. There simply cannot be two of us, can there?”

A soft “no” is huffed as laughter from Childe. What a boring relationship that would be, truly.

“But if it is stability you seek, Ajax, let me be that for you. Let me be here, solid as stone and steadfast. Let me be the pillar of strength you need to turn to in times of trouble. Okay?” He brushes a knuckle gently across his skin.

Childe makes a sound that sounds a little broken and a little delirious. “When did this become about me, Xiansheng?” 

“To me, it’s always been about you,” Zhongli smiles fondly. Childe feels as if he’s been shot in the heart.

Childe gives him a shaky smile and nods. He can’t seem to control his heart at the moment, so instead, he says, “You’re my home, Zhongli.”

--

The gears seemed to finally click somewhere in Zhongli’s chest. The hollow feeling inside suddenly swelled with a sense of nostalgia, bringing with it a feeling of peace and serenity. Zhongli’s eyes widen, and the ex-Archon looks down at Childe with a sudden air of solid certainty. Childe almost shrinks at the intensity of his gaze. 

“Of course,” he mutters, mostly to himself. “Of course it’s you.”

“What?” 

“How could I be so blind?” Zhongli cups his face with both hands, and Childe reciprocates by placing both palms on his wrists. Confused, but following along. Cor lapis eyes stare straight into his soul, unforgiving as it digs deeper and deeper into what makes him whole. 

“Xiansheng?” Ajax asks, dazed by the intensity of Zhongli’s stare. God, his eyes are so golden.

“It’s you, Ajax,” for once, his voice cracks and he loses composure, “you… are home. You are home. To me, that is my definition of home. I only ever feel-- I only ever feel like I belong when I am with you. It was so obvious, and I--”

“Zhongli,” Ajax gently pries off the hands cupped around his face. His heart can’t handle this right now. It’s too much. He’s too in love, he needs to do something or he’ll explode. He stares directly into those beautiful, mesmerizing golden eyes. Ajax cradles Zhongli’s hands in his own, petting over his knuckles, when he asks, “Marry me?”

His eyes widen comically, as if they weren’t already the size of saucepans with his first epiphany.

“Oh.”

So that’s what he was missing. 

“I know we said we would take it slow, and I know I’m young, or whatever” Childe begins to ramble, “but fuck going slow, Xiansheng, it’s been months and all I want to do is go to sleep with you next to me. I know what I want and it seems like you do, too, but if I misread that then--”

Zhongli hushes him with an incessant press of his lips against Childe’s. It is a loving kiss, yes, but it is filled with a desperation that only the both of them understand. It is a kiss that is so different from the others; one full of certainty and ambition, a kiss full of overwhelming commitment. The longing behind the contact is an answer in and of itself, but he pulls away to speak regardless. 

“Yes,” he breathes, pressing his forehead against Childe’s, “yes.”

That night, Zhongli finally comes to the conclusion that home does not have to mean four walls and a roof. It doesn’t pertain to any kind of fancy kitchen appliances, or four post bed frames. Zhongli quickly learns that it doesn’t have to be about a place, and all the stories it tells. It’s not even Liyue, the very land he built himself. It has nothing to do with any of that. In fact, the sheer ridiculousness of Zhongli’s inner conflict has him rolling.

Instead, it has everything to do with the red head beneath him. It has to do with the way he calls his name in the middle of the night, claws his hands down his back and juts his hips forward, desperately seeking friction. Home has everything to do with swollen lips, red from being kissed, cheeks hot pink from the heat slowly filling the room, and strong thighs clenching and unclenching around his waist. Home has to do with his precious Snezhnayan soulmate.

Simply, home is Ajax. 

[shadowsfascination]

Dreams

Hot. Moist. Sweat. It gushed off him while he twisted and turned under the sheets, barely awake and still under the spell of a teasing dream. A soft sound, in between a growl and a moan, managed to escape Shadow’s lips, even with his mouth as dry as a desert.

His eyes were half-lidded, continuously blinking at a rapid speed. He gasped, clasping his hands into the ball of fumbled sheets atop him as if longing to hold on to something. His sub-conscious mind started registering the stimulus of the cold on one of his legs that peeked out under the blanket. He tugged it back under the warm, somewhat clammy sheets and a inhaled with a series of grated breaths.

“Shit… This again?”

Shadow laid his head to rest on the pillow below him and stared at the ceiling in the dark. His spiky quills pressed into the cushion, the cool cotton fabric nicely fluffing against his skin. It wasn’t until recently that he noticed how everything seemed to be the same saturated colour in the dark.

Not until these dreams decided to wake me up at the same darn point every night.

He grunted. Not only did he want to fall asleep again, he yearned to dream on that one particular dream. Shadow wriggled once more, huddling in attempt to find a comfortable position to drift off again- fast. He shut his eyes and snuggled up to the pillow beside him in the bed. A muffled groan carried away from underneath it. He was already too awake, too aroused to glide back in his dream again.

Fuck!

The black hedgehog sat up straight in a bed that wasn’t his. Ever since Amy left town two days ago for her internship, he decided he’d sleep in hers, which he convinced himself was fine… She asked me to check in on her house sometimes and I know where her spare key is hidden. It’s not like I’m doing something wrong…

In the pockets of his black jacket was an unfinished joint and a lighter- almost empty, judging by its’ weight. He opened the window in her bedroom, lit the joint and inhaled the smoke. Shadow rested his elbows on the windowsill, picturing Amy’s reaction to him smoking this stuff inside her home. Undoubtedly she’d show that cute, irresistible, agitated blush spread across her cheeks.

It had been that particular look on her face that lit a romantic spark in him. He remembered scoffing himself for the very first time after tracing the slightest affection for her. She was his friend and it should’ve stayed like that. But it didn’t and he had a love-hate relationship with his feelings for her.

Part of him despised the lack of self-discipline that eventually allowed him to fall for her, but then again: who could not fall for Amy Rose?

The young woman was simply amazing; kind, brave, strong, gorgeous, honest and pure. Hanging out with her was never an obligation to him. Even if he acted indifferent in the past, it was a mere cover. He enjoyed being with her so much that the innocent one-sided crush he made himself believe it’d become, faded over time to be replaced with an overwhelming sense of… lovesickness? Lust?

Shadow had yet to come to terms with whatever stirred inside him- if he’d ever decide to stop lying to himself. He craved being with her, even if it was just as her friend. But friends didn’t look the way he looked at her, the way he saw her, the way his mind was toyed with by her.

And lately it had gotten much worse. A feeling of possessiveness grew inside him when she told him her plans for a yearlong internship overseas. Surely she’d meet new people, make new friends, go out and meet guys. Guys who’d eventually find an interest in her. Shadow feared he might lose his chance with her forever. And yet… he’d just let her go like it was no big deal, casually waving her off like Sonic had. Along with his sigh marihuana scented smoke escaped his lips.

He looked at his phone. Nothing. His inbox was unusually quiet after Amy briefly informed him she’d arrived at her destination. It made him restless and impatient.

“I can’t believe I’m just as stupid as that faker…”

That last part was what made it so ugly. Sonic had taken Amy for granted for over a decade. Shadow had gladly been her shoulder to cry on and often told her he couldn’t understand how poorly the blue blur treated her. And now he had sunk as low as his rival when what he really longed for was to make Amy his girl and walk beside her, showing her off, proud as a peacock.

He imagined pulling her into a passionate kiss, one that would weaken her knees, send shivers down her spine. One that made it loud and clear to everyone that she was his woman. Now that was a decent goodbye! He sighed once again. She should be his!

Shadow’s mind drifted off to the night before she left. Amy went home early from the farewell-party her friends had thrown her. She had excused herself by stating she wanted a good night of sleep before her journey the next day, but asked Shadow to hang out with her in the end. Just the two of them. He knew far too well she’d do that.

Something in the way she acted that night puzzled his mind. It had lit sparks of hope that she felt the same way about him. If he wasn’t mistaken, there’d been this tense atmosphere between them.

____________________________________

 “My turn! Shadow, can you hand me that?”

…

“Shadow?!”

Amy frantically gestured with her hands to make contact with a Shadow whose mind seemed to have drifted off. The introverted hedgehog got sucked into his own mind, quietly moping and pouting to himself in his thoughts about her departure.

Blinking when he finally noticed her, she was already so close to him that it startled him a little. Sucking off the tip of the joint he held between his fingers, he instantly stiffened up. Shaking a little as he watched her, he became helpless to the arousal from the image and the prickling heat that flushed through his body.

The girl looked up to him, colouring his cheeks in a deep red, her lips still enclosing the tip. He was quickly to shift his gaze away from her, feeling she’d see right through him if he stared at her any longer.

“Sorry. I was out of it for a bit.”

She didn’t take it from him. Instead Amy let out a muffled ‘U-huh’ and guided his hand to her lips again to have another pull of the joint. Without warning she tucked her arms behind him, pulling him into a hug and chuckled a delightful laughter.

“Cheer up! I’m gonna miss you too, you know?”

“Tsk, darn right, you will!”

Amy snorted at his silly reply and gave him a playful push.

“It’s the truth and you know it.”

Shadow raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms, faking an arrogance that actually fit his personality quite well at times. Amy however saw straight through his act, aware that he found it difficult that she left. Despite everything they ended up being the best of friends and she was sure he’d feel lonely and bored without her.

“We can still catch up on the phone and stuff. It’s only for a year. It’ll be over before we know it. Besides, you’re gonna be busy too in the meantime. I’m so excited for you about the project you were tasked with. You always wanted to do this stuff, right?”

“Yeah, it’s something I’m looking forward to. I’ve always wanted to work with plants. I’ll get to investigate, plant and look after all these rare species the Central City’s botanical garden’s been given after the archaeologist department found this hidden, preserving millions of seeds.”

“A nice change of pace for you, after your last missions. Promise to show me around sometime when I’m back, okay?”

“Gladly.”

“Yay! Now… I need something sweet!” Amy said when a munchie kicked in. “But already I emptied my cabinets… Argh!”

“Wait here.”

Shadow jumped off the roof they sat on and walked up to his motorcycle. Amy watched him lift up the seat and grab something out the space hidden underneath it. He jumped up and pulled himself up on the gutter with two brown paper bags clenched between his teeth. A gleeful smile instantly spread across Amy’s face when she recognized the logo on them. He handed her one.

“I put another in your backpack for your trip tomorrow as well.”

“Aaah, you’re the best!”

Amy opened the bag and couldn’t fight the giddy, happy squeak that escaped her lips. All of her favourite candy from her #1 candy store in Spring Yard was in it, which wasn’t close to their hometown. Shadow must’ve gone out of his way to get this for her and he clearly put in some thought into picking out the confectionary in the paper bag. She happily stuffed her mouth with it and heard Shadow snicker beside her.

“You’re precious.” He chuckled at her.

“What? Oh! I probably look ridiculous.”

“I think it’s endearing.”

She quickly gulped it down and fake-shyly fidgeted, trying to compensate for what she thought was unladylike behaviour. In sudden confusion Amy scratched her quills. Since when did she care about that when she was with Shadow?

She then spotted Shadow unroll a liquorish-fruity roll, her absolute favourite. Tearing the paper bag as she searched for it in hers, her face soured, eye-lids dropping halfway down. She regretted she impulsively ate all the candy in three big bites.

“That’s what you get for eating them all at once.” Shadow said.

He shrugged and put the end of the now unrolled, spaghetti-like candy in his mouth with an amused expression. Amy turned around, bent over him and took a bite from the candy string, her grin turning as smug as his was before. Surprised by the pleasurable tension she experienced from being so close to him, she giggled her unease away.

There wasn’t much left of the candy string. To bite off that last piece, she practically had to kiss him. The thought spread a burning sensation through her chest. With Shadow’s heart jolting rapidly and the blood whizzing in his ears, he slowly sucked up the candy string into his mouth to see how she would react.

Don’t think too much of it. She’s just teasing me! Isn’t she? Shadow thought to himself.

Locking her jade eyes with his ruby ones, Amy leaned in a little closer. Shadow didn’t protest. Amy bit her lip for a second, but then enclosed her rosy lips around the other end of what was left of the short candy string.

He took in her flowery scent and felt her breath gently brush against his lips, their noses almost touching. His palms turned sweaty inside his gloves. Amy’s face was blazing, its’ heat radiating against his own.

He cupped his hands around her back ever so carefully, putting the smallest amount of pressure on them. Aghast and undecided Amy sat down on his lap, one hand on his chest, the other tracing the outlines of his lips.

Shadow decided to take the leap and leaned in a little closer to bite off the string when his phone loudly buzzed in his jacket, startling the hedgehogs. Amy squeaked and quickly slid off his lap, her face and ears coloured in a deep pink blush. Shadow awkwardly hid his face from her, grabbing his phone while he inaudibly cursed whoever ruined this moment for him.

Rouge: ‘Do you really think this is a good idea?’

What the-? How’d she even-? If she’s been spying on us, she will not hear the end of it!

 _______________________________

 After Rouge interrupted them, things became weird. They said their awkward goodbyes like they’d see each other again the next day. But they didn’t because she left for her internship and he went to pick a fight with Rouge. The bat was genuinely concerned about him and what it’d do to him if he and Amy kissed and she’d leave the next day for a whole year.

Even when Rouge meant well, Shadow had yet to comprehend how she’d caught onto his secret feelings for Amy and felt violated in his privacy. On top of that she should have minded her own business.

He put his joint and lighter on the windowsill and snuggled up in Amy’s bed again. With his crimson eyes slowly closing, he concentrated in good hopes the fantasy would sprang from his mind and reignite his dream.

Come on, come on… I’m at the station, where are you? You should be here!

He whispered aloud while Dream-Shadow skated towards the pedestrian-bridge that crossed over the train tracks at high speed. He jumped up the stairs, his heart wildly pounding in his chest, hurrying him forward, pushing everyone aside who blocked his way. The strangers always delayed him in so many, annoying, different ways and every time he was left no choice but to jump off the bridge as a shortcut to get to the platform in time. Although a part of him feared, a part of him knew, he’d be too late -again. A sea of unknown, irrelevant others were standing in his way. Why is it always this crowded?

‘Move! Out of my way!’

The pod had done its’ job and Shadow drifted off into a deep sleep. His gaze locked on to something in the distance, the familiar shape of the one he was after.

‘Wait!��

He clenched his teeth and sped up, screaming to the strangers to make room for him, but his cries fell on deaf ears once more. The empty voices of everyone out here muted his screams before they could reach her.

‘No! Not again! Please! I must…!’

Shadow never seemed to get closer to the train he tried to reach before it’d fare away, even when he was skating towards it at full speed. It drained him, sending stinging pains to his sides, but he never got to it. Like his feet were glued to the ground. Soundless, hoarse, growling cries leaving his throat as the train departed and the crowd suddenly vanished, like it had never been there to begin with.

‘WAAAAIT! YOU HAVE TO WAAAAIT!’

He never mastered control over the rotten feeling, even when he knew it always ended the same way. The fact that he didn’t make it, didn’t reach her, never was fast enough… It was mortifying for him. He was the fucking ultimate lifeform and he didn’t deliver.

He pounded his fists into a brick wall and growled like a beast. His muscles trembled from the impact as he watched the train disappear into the distance. The thought of chasing it tempted him for a second. He let the thought pass on and slid down against the wall, scouring his back to the raw structure and sharp chunks of stone in it. He bled, but didn’t bother. Shadow’s chaos energy always healed him so fast that hardly anything was an actual threat to the ebony hedgehog.

He let his dream counterpart stroll over the platform of the train empty station. It somehow was always empty at this point in the dream. The sun stood low, casting soft beams of light in magnificent deep oranges, reds and yellows, painting long, dark shadows behind objects blocking its’ reach. Shadow sank down on a black, metal bench on platform 3-b, its’ many thin metal lines pressing into his skin. He rested his head on his hand, curling up to a ball.

‘I’m so stupid! So DARN stupid! I should never have let you leave like that!’ He cried. ‘And now you’re gone! ARGH!’

The powerlessness and anger inside the black male came crashing out of him when a chaos sphere ignited from his hands. It destroyed the tracks with a shrieking bang, curling up its’ irons.

‘I thought you were different, Shadow.’ crawled up a voice from behind him.

Dream-Amy’s voice scared him wide awake. His muscles soured, adrenaline rushing through his veins, his breathing irregular and his phone buzzing under the pillow. The disappointed tone in her voice hurt him badly. He seized the phone with trembling hands.

Amy!

Suddenly only seeing her name on the screen made him scared as never before, but also strangely excited at the same time. Nausea sprung in his middle.

Amy: ‘U awake?’

Shadow: ‘Yes.’

An incoming call from Amy popped up on his screen. He swiped it to the right to pick up.

“Why are you still up? Tomorrow’s your first day, right?”

“I went out with some people from the dorm.”

“O-kay... Did you- did you have a good time?”

“Sure did. In fact a really cute guy asked me out. We’re going out Friday night.”

All right. He knew what this was really about. She was trying to make him jealous, trying to make him feel bad about the way they parted. And it was a totally justified thing to do, but her act revealed to him that she wanted him to care. Shadow’s muscles relaxed again and a confident smile curved his lips.

“Is that so? Did you tell him you secretly have feelings for someone else?”

“I’m not in love with Sonic anymore!”

“Who said I was talking about Sonic?”

…

Shadow was unable to fight the amusing feeling inside him from how baffled she was all of the sudden.

“Well- I-! I can’t believe you just let me go like that!”

“I’m sorry.”

Amy shrieked with a high pitched voice when she heard the acoustics of his apology twice. She turned around, the phone still held against her ear to see him standing in her dorm room. In one hand he held a chaos emerald and his phone in the other.

“What are you doing here?!”

“Confessing how much of an idiot I am.” He pouted.

“Go on.”

“It was highly indecent of me to let you go like that and I’m sorry.”

Part of him wanted to confess everything to her, take the leap and come clean, but he didn’t. The repeating dream that haunted him since she left had awakened a new fear in him: that she was only fooling around with him that night. It was yet to be proven irrational. He felt it was her turn to say something for this wasn’t a one way street.

“Thank you. It’s just… That night- I thought you cared about me.”

He sat down next to her.

“I do.” Way too much actually.

Shadow leaned in on her, resting his arms on her legs, his lips close to her ear. He closed her in between the wall behind her and himself in front of her only to whisper: “In fact, I don’t like that you’re going out with someone if that someone isn’t me.”

Amy let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. She tilted her head and unintentionally tightened her grip on Shadow’s chest fur. Her lashes softly tickled on his muzzle when she blinked. His musky scent and flirting intoxicated her senses. He levelled with her to catch her gaze, internally screaming from how hot she looked in what he realized was in fact one of his sweaters.

“Heh, here I only thought I had the hots for you, but it seems I was wrong.”

He pulled her closer by the cords of the sweater. Slowly he closed the remaining distance between them, softly pressing his lips against hers.

“So wrong!”

Amy smiled against his lips and straddled him, clamping his legs between her own, before passionately pouring into the kiss.

Chaos! I wanted this for so long!

_______________

AN: This one’s long! I decided to care less and just write and draw whatever I want, trying out new styles. Here goes...

Shadow and Amy are both adults here. Where I live smoking marihuana is tolerated.

Like always: send me a note for annoying typos, grammar mishaps etc. 

[cherry-gemz]

The City by The Bay: Part III

Summary: Fates push you and a handsome and known stranger into each other's paths. His chilvary and good looks make you take a leap into his world and more.

Previous Chapters:

Pairing: Keanu Reeves x Y/N (F!Reader)

Rating: PG, fluff

Word Count: 1500+/-

A/N: Much fluff in this chapter, will pick up more speed in the next, but hope you enjoy.

Who might be interested: @whiskeyslullabye ​ @marissat1998 @aestheticallywinchester ​ @fookingbetch ​

*************

The fluorescent lights flicker as Keanu switches the switch up. They domino on and your eyes open to the garage full of motorcycles, his toys. You smile slightly as he beams and holds out his hands in a gratifying gesture.

"My second favorite room!" He says as he takes your hand and leads you through the room. There are a dozen bikes or so and you're impressed.

"Was the bike we rode earlier not enough?" You joke as you admire his collection.

"Heh, some collect guns...which I do own a few...others collect these babies," he replies as he slaps his hand on one of his own bikes. "Personal favorite."

You look at him, "Not the one we rode earlier?"

"That is a favorite, it's from ARCH -"

"Oh, is it the KRGT-1? That's what we were on?"

His mouth is agape, "Are you into bikes?"

"Me? Oh no, definitely not an officinado, but um, well I'm quite embarrassed to say this…but I'm a fan of yours. I have watched an interview or two of you discussing motorcycles."

You blush ever so slightly at your confession, hoping he doesn't think too much into it.

"A fan, huh?"

"Well I obviously knew who you were when I had come to my senses this morning after our run in. But don't worry...not a stalker." You laugh nervously.

He smiles, "That's exactly what a stalker would say."

Your eyes widen, "What? Oh no, I...I've put my foot in my mouth."

"It's okay, Y/N. I've met stalkers. And while they are lovely people at heart, they're fanatic and obtuse, you don't have the stalker MO."

A sense of calmness rushes over you and you hope that you hadn't turned him off the idea of knowing more about you.

He changes gears and seems unphased, "But yes, the KRGT-1 is what we rode earlier. But this baby right here, is a Gordon Commando. Lots of miles on this one, good memories."

You peer over at the metal bike and it's classic look and nod, "I'm touched you would show me a personal favorite."

Your phone buzzes, but you quickly ignore it as he walks over to a wall of helmets and selects two, tosses one over to you. He reaches into his leather jacket pocket and clicks the garage opener.

"You're also gonna ride the personal favorite," he smiles mischievously and swings a leg over the bike and peers back to you.

"What? Are you serious?"

"Yeah, hop on," he grabs his keys from his jeans pocket and starts the ignition. It purrs loudly and he ramps it up and waggles his brows to you.

“I’m not sure…” you reply hesitantly as your phone goes off again. You quickly grab it and your client sent a text that they need to reschedule. A tinge in your heart shot through and you smiled.

“Everything okay?” He asks looking back at you.

“Yes, just fine.”

“I wanted to grab some food on the way where I’d like us to go, but didn’t you say you had a client's lunch?” He shouts over the engine.

“I did, but I am now available. Let’s go grab a bite.”

“Yeah? Oh that’s awesome!”

You pull the helmet over your head and manuver your purse to the side of your hip as you mount the bike.

"Ready?" He shouts over the noise of the engine and you give him a thumbs up.

*

You hold tight to his waist and bury your face into his leather jacket. It's a bit nippy and the pace of the motorcycle chills you slightly. You could hold onto him forever. It's all a dream really. Who would have thought just hours before you were a normal person out to get coffee. Now, you're riding a motorcycle with Keanu Reeves. Twice. And been to his house where he made you cappuccino and let you borrow a book. This universe you're in is most likely to dissipate and you wake up in bed any minute now. He had stopped at a mom and pop burger joint and had sworn their cheeseburgers were ethereal.

After a scenic route, you find yourself noticing the massive Redwood trees that wind up and down the Pacific Coast. Muir Woods. One of your favorite places to center yourself. You’ve walked the trails before and enjoyed the beach, but this time was different. It was with him. He pulls over to the side of the road and you hear the waves crash against the shore. As you both hop off and remove your helmets, he gestures to take the bag of food off your hands and you willingly do so.

"C'mon, let's go down to the beach," he says. You nod and you follow him onto the sand. You've always hated sand in your shoes, so you slip off your ballet flats and toss them aside. A mischievous grin appears on his face and he slips off his boots. He reaches for your hand and you look to it for a moment.

He smiles warmly and you accept his invitation and hold tight as you both scamper off to the water.

A few short minutes and breaths later you laugh as the wind picks up and pushes your hair to your face. He flashes a grin and is close to you, neither have spoken for some time, but somehow understand each other. He gently tucks a tendril of your hair behind your ear and gazes into your eyes: His are deep and expressive. The laugh lines appear and you can tell he's genuinely happy.

He plops to the sand and sits crossed legged and rummages through the white paper bag of greasy goodness.

You sit next to him and watch as he digs out a translucent paper wrapped burger and hands it to you.

"Fries are in the bag. Ketchup?" You nod and he sifts through the bag further and pulls out a ketchup packet as if he's found gold. "Ah-ha!"

"Okay, let's see what the big fuss is all about," you say and bite into the juicy patty. Your mouth ignites full of flavor, your eyes widen. "Omigosh…"

He looks at you, "Right?"

You nod in agreement and let out a slight moan which makes him laugh.

"Nice to know I can impress a chef," he states and bits into his burger.

"This is out of this world, wow."

"A hidden gem. Found it a few months ago when I went riding up here. I usually try to make sure I can give back to the community whenever I'm in location. I lie finding little spots like this."

"You have a good heart you know."

He bashfully turns his head and looks to the sea.

"Thank you…" he replies softly. "But I just do what everyone else does, nothing special."

You can tell he shies away from compliments and doesn't need flattery, and he tries change the subject.

"So tell me what is your favorite food?" He asks as you bites into your burger again.

Your mouth is full and you try to talk and then realizes you can't reply, then moves into a laugh instead.

"Sorry, finish your bite. I'll tell you mine…"

You nod and wipe your mouth with your jacket sleeve.

"Steak and potatoes. Pizza. Comfort food y'know?"

You nod again.

"And marshmallows."

"Marshfhmallows?" You reply, still chewing on your food.

"Heh yeah."

"Like s'mores?" You finally finish your bite.

"No, like a marshmallow. No graham cracker, no chocolate."

"But roasted?"

"Yeah, definitely," he smiles.

"Interesting…well my favorite food…" you start as you look up to think and then quickly dive your hand into the bag. "...has to be French Fries."

He laughs as you toss a few fries into your mouth.

"I take it you won't be sharing?" He asks as you playfully lick your fingers clean.

"Most definitely not," you tease.

He starts to open his mouth when suddenly thunder claps and you peer into the sky. Large, black clouds start to roll in and Keanu quickly gets up and grabs the food. You follow suit as he extends his hand again and you smile.

Another clap echoes and rain starts to fall heavily on the two you. You squeal as you try to run through the sand together and quickly arrive at your shoes. The rain falls heavily and quickly and eventually you both make it to the bike. Keanu tosses the bag in a nearby wastebasket and you throw on your helmets.

*

You shut your eyes tight and let the rest of your senses ignite as the rain drops fall. The coldness of the breeze continues to brush your face and makes the tip of your nose tint pink. You can smell the rain and salty sea in the air, it's distant, but permeates enough to your nose. You can still taste the remembrance of the cappuccino on your tongue and bite your lip in anticipation that it never leaves.

Lastly that glorious sound of the engine purrs to you. It's a new sound you're not too familiar with, but it's one you could definitely get used to. It's the sound of the heart that beats through his chest, it's calming and pure. It's one you'd like to call home.

[angst-king]

Misery love Company pt 5

(mention of vomit, and ablelist behavior

It  had been a week and a half since Katsuki had eaten a proper meal, or felt normal. His entire body had felt like it was burning but that wasn’t because he had a fever, oh no he was cold to the bone but his bones were hurting so bad. Moving hurt so much, moving also made him incredibly dizzy to the point where he collapsed once or twice. These dizzy spells were accompanied by nausea, chest pain, his heart feeling like it would explode from his chest, feeling very hot and then suddenly he’d drop. 

Today had been the last straw or well tonight was the last straw. Katsuki was miserable, laying in his bed unable to be comfortable at all with how sick he was. A trash can next to the side of his bed in case he got sick but. Even just moving to get sick into the trash can made Katsuki feel very faint. Like now, Massaru was helping Katsuki who was busy getting sick into the trash can for what felt like the millionth time this week which made Massaru wanna take Katsuki to the ER but. Katsuki had been brainwashed by Mitsuki into the idea that he just needed to sleep it off but. This time Mitsuki wasn’t home and Massaru was too anxious to care especially when he heard Katsuki gasping for breath, clutching his chest, and whimpering to the point of tears running down his flushed red, and pale pink face. Massaru had to hold Katsuki up when the other’s eyes went back and he went limp, he knew the other had fainted again but this time he listened to his gut. He quickly grabbed everything he needed, and pulled Katsuki out of bed and into his car, and left for the emergency room.

When he got there he carried Katsuki in and allowed them to whisk his son away. Of course they had to ask the usual questions as well as some other ones but other than that Massaru was left in the waiting room. That lonely sickeningly white walled waiting room. Massaru knew he needed to call Mitsuki even if he didn’t want to know how his wife would most likely react though a piece of him hoped she would have a shred of selflessness to get off of work to come and see him.  

Ever since Katsuki’s condition began to make an appearance Mitsuki hadn’t been reacting to this well. She’d been rather dismissive about Katsuki’s complaints of pain, and rather passive aggressive with her replies. Then when Katsuki started getting sicker and sicker she wouldn’t even be bothered to help him. It was as if that was a job completely beneath her. Telling Katsuki to stop being weak or lazy and that he could do it himself.. The frequent fainting spells weren’t helping, making it even more difficult for Katsuki to try and help himself. It finally got to the point where Katsuki could hardly sit up without needing to immediately lay back down because he was gonna pass out.  Mitsuki ignored everything and passed it off as puberty, being a wimp, growing, needing to take care of himself. All her words were laced with a coldness that made Katsuki feel so weak.

Making the decision, Massaru called his wife and told her what had happened and, to put it frankly, her response wasn’t very empathetic or motherly. “Ugh what the hell! I told you not to Massaru!” “i-I know dear but come on, the kid fainted again and he hasn’t been keeping down almost anything but gatorade, and he’s in pain.” “Katsuki is just weak Massaru, he just wants attention and is playing it up to get it!” Massaru was getting fed up with his wife’s protests and replied in an annoyed tone.“Mitsuki, our son couldn’t even sit up on his own without blacking out. I don’t care if you think he’s faking, if you truly loved and cared then you’d come over here.” He hung up before she could reply as he didn’t want to hear another word from her at the moment. Still alone in this waiting room, waiting for any information on his son’s condition was making the man anxious. It felt like hours, upon hours, but it had only been one hour but. Time in here seemed to feel like forever, it went by so slowly yet too quick at the same time.

Finally, a doctor walked over to him smiling. “Mr Bakugou?” Looking up he sees the woman coming over to him and he gives a sigh. “Yes?” He says as he stands up, the woman approaches him and starts. “We’ve got your son Katsuki, stabilized the best we could here. We did some testing after learning his symptoms and well, the results aren’t great…” The way the woman spoke, Massaru had a bad feeling from the start, but said nothing allowing the woman to go on. “Mr Massaru, let's sit.” She says, now he’s feeling more and more anxious about the possible news. Nodding he sits down in the chair he started in while she sat beside him turning to face him. “Your son could’ve died tonight if you didn’t bring him. He was that sick.” That made Massaru want to be sick himself, the feeling that if he waited a day or two longer, Katsuki could’ve died. Still Massaru didn’t know how the boy could’ve gotten so bad or what was wrong with him, so he asked. “Wh-what’s wrong with Katsuki?” His voice wasn’t very strong, it was strained with concern and fear. “Well your son is sick, and I don’t mean that he has the flu, he’s chronically ill.” It hadn’t hit him completely but hearing that his son was chronically hit him but. How could his son just suddenly fall ill like this though? Even with a chronic illness, shouldn’t this have appeared when he was younger? So he asked what he was thinking “shouldn’t this appear when he was younger?”  “Well some things probably did but they never manifested like this or he did and the doctors just dismissed it as something else.” Massaru couldn’t help but feel guilty, his son could’ve been suffering for years and this is how he finds out. Twiddling his thumbs unconsciously and asking “So what does he have?”

“Katsuki has H.E.D.S which is called Hypermobility Ehlers Danlos syndrome. This is a connective tissue disorder that allows your son to be very flexible and have very elastic yet very thin skin. Due to him being very flexible and having lots of collagen his joints are very loose which means he can easily dislocate things and have horrible body pain from it.” Taking this information Massaru had more questions. “How could this condition almost kill Katsuki? Or is there more to this than just horrible body pain?” “Well I’m glad you’re asking these questions because, yes there is more to this disorder. How I explain this is I call this the H.E.D.S expansion back because this disorder has the possibility to contain multiple other disorders and problems and. For Katsuki those other disorders seem to be POTS and Gastroparesis. Though gastroparesis is a theory I’m not totally solid on that one but it's a good possibility that he has it.” This was so much information coming at him at once but he wanted to know how these conditions would have ended Katsuki’s life. So Massaru asked for the doctor to explain the second ailment. “POTS stands for postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome. Which is a heart condition in which standing or sitting up can cause the blood flow to pool away from Katsuki’s head and make him faint. It can also cause lightheaded-ness, chest pain, shortness of breath, anxiety, fast heart rate, tremors, nausea and vomiting. These symptoms can become very exaggerated during a flare up, which explains why his heart rate was so high but his blood pressure was low.” Massaru silently let everything sink in until he asked1

“so your theory about Gastroparesis? What is that exactly and why do you have a theory for this?” “Well Gastroparesis is a fancy word for stomach paralysis. It's when the nerve that controls the stomach’s contractions that move food from your stomach to your small intestine has stopped functioning or maybe the sphincter of his stomach to his small intestine won't open properly. So his body is digesting things way too slow which can cause lots of pain, bloating, nausea, the feeling of being constantly full or not hungry. SInce his body isn’t digesting his food correctly that means that he’s not absorbing any nutrients through what he eats by mouth….so if he does have gastroparesis they may have to find another way to provide him nutrition.” All of this was a lot for Massaru to grasp but he could also do his research but. Then he had another question. “So how are you guys going to treat my son, what are the plans?” “Well Mr Bakugou, I suggest that your son be transferred to a long stay facility because his condition is not good and we can’t do what a pediatric long stay hospital can do.”

That’s when he knew Katsuki’s world had officially turned upside down. Massaru couldn’t help but feel terrible. If he had waited any longer, if he’d listened to his wife, they may not have woken up the next morning to see Katsuki with a pulse. If he hadn’t listened to his own instincts Massaru would have never forgiven himself. Now his son was gonna have to be transferred to a long stay hospital and he knew Katsuki wasn’t gonna take this well at all. Still he wanted to see Katsuki and knew this information would be accepted better than it would coming from him than the doctor. “We can admit him, but can I see my son please?” “Sure, he should be waking up. He did faint on us when we had to get blood drawn and hooked him up to some IVs. Your son definitely has anxiety around needles, I can tell you that for sure.” She chuckles a little while standing up from her seat, Massaru follows suit and is led down the hallways to find Katsuki.

[outerbankslut]

Here For You... JJ Maybank

Summary • One afternoon after seeing a certain blond pogue hurt you are left confused and worried for him. So you set out to figure out exactly whats happened to him or more like what happens behind the closed doors of the Maybank residence.

Warnings • Swearing. Cannabis abuse. Mentions of abuse(from the show)-And please if you’re going through anything like that please talk to someone. My doors always open if you need to talk <3

Word Count • 4.3k (Imagine)

Masterlist

(GIF isn’t mine, let me know if it’s yours)

    FLOUR ENCASED YOUR clothing as you finally slid the greased up tray into the oven, dusting your hands off after. John B and your friends were out on the boat for the day which you declined to have the day to yourself to bake cookies and do homework in peace without the likes of John B your brother and JJ your best friend. He stayed around a lot and at this point he basically lived there but you didn't mind. Truth be told, you had a big fat crush on the boy. But it was the opposite of all teenage love stories. He didn't love you back. You often found yourself happy to wake up and see the boy sitting around the house drinking beer or smoking a joint. He gave a sense of comfort in the house that felt so empty without your dad.

You and John B being twins shared most things—one being friends. You had known the blond since you were in third grade, and that was when the crush bloomed but you could tell by his constant hookups he didn't know nor reciprocate those feelings. He only thought of you as a friend.

Then there was Pope. Occasionally you worked down at his dads shop for extra money for rent if your uncle didn't come through with it as well as groceries since he didn't seem to care if you or John B starved. Pope was the sweetest and smartest boy you had met. When your brother refused to show you how to drive a boat the Pope showed you on delivery once. Though it got you in trouble with Heyward when you turned back up late to the shop.

And Kiara. She was a Kook. Got a taste of both sides of the jungle. The kooks didn't sit well with her so she ended up an honorary pogue. She was your best friend as soon as she joined the group since you'd never had a girl to talk to since your mum left and your house was filled with boys.

You sighed as you settled down atop the counter looking at your phone as you added a timer since the one on the oven was broken. It was all quiet apart from the low hum of the oven fan until a door was shoved open and stumbling footsteps walked round the house.

Everyone else was on the boat, so who the hell was this?

You picked up the wooden base ball bat from that leaned on the wall just in case and held your phone ready to call 911 and inched towards where the sound was coming from.

And the bathroom light was on, you furrowed your eyes brows in confusion.

Then when you pushed open the door you caught a flash of golden blond locks as the boy quickly turned around putting his shirt on quickly.

"JJ?"

A bruise had formed just beneath his eye and along his cheek bone, mixed arrays of blues and purples splashed with the cream colour of his skin. You gasped as you saw it. His lip was busted and there was a small cut just above his eyebrow.

You reached forward to get a better look at his face as you finger lightly grazed over the bruise and he flinched away slightly making you frown.

"Sorry." You pulled away looking at the boy who had nothing to say in that moment but normally was not the quiet type. "Wait, why are you here? I thought you were on the boat with the others."

"I decided not to go today. I—um, had to help out my dad with some stuff at home." His voice wavered as he spoke leading you to believe he was keeping something. Then he turned his eyes to you. "What about you? Didn't think anyone would be here."

"I have homework to do. But that's beside the point. What happened to your face?"

He panicked. You couldn't know. As much as he wanted to wrap his arms around you and just stay there forever in your safe arms he couldn't. He couldn't drag you into his mess of a life. If would be best if you stayed just outside of it. You couldn't get hurt because of him.

"Homework. And I thought Pope was the nerd." He was deflecting. You rolled your eyes at the act. Something was definitely up. If this was just a small run in with Rafe other other Kooks then why would he be hiding that?

You sighed deciding not to question him for a second. Though you wanted to know who did it so you could punch them, he could tell you in his own time.

"I can help clean you up, got some frozen peas in the freezer. And some antiseptic wipes for that cut. But after that I want to know what happened."

"You know, I forgot I've got to get back to work and stuff. I'll see you later, Lu." He rushed past you away from the bathroom he had sought refuge in, where he thought he was alone but the prying eyes of Lucie Routledge never once left his.

"Wait, JJ!"

But he didn't stop. He carried on until he was perched on his bike and you were walking down the porch stairs.

He ignored you pulling on his helmet though when doing so his shirt rode up slightly and you got a glimpse of how bad it really was. How bad his homelife was. Though you didn't connect the dots just yet.

You gasped with a hand over your mouth seeing bruises all down his side, a messy painting of purples, blues and greens mashed together. But before you could say anything he sped away leaving you in your thoughts about what the hell happened.

The rest of the night you filled the out the pit in your stomach with chocolate chip cookies and empty thoughts. Since then you couldn't concentrate on your homework having given up an hour ago just when John B came back with Pope and Kie.

Your brother barrelled into your room a cookie in hand and jumped onto your bed as you winced hoping it didn't break.

"Did you guys have a good day?"

"Yeah. Especially since you weren't there." He joked taking a hefty bite of the cookie just as you threw your pillow his way.

He noticed your expression after that. You were distracted and confused and seemed distant.

"What's up with you?"

You sent him a puzzled look. "Nothings up with me. I don't know what you're talking about."

He rolled his eyes before standing up and messing up your hair with his hand which you promptly slapped away. "Well if you want to talk then I'm just next door."

Except you weren't part of the thoughts plaguing your mind. It was JJ.

    THE NEXT DAY when everyone was round at the Chateau JJ didn't even look at you. His gaze was focused either on the ground or towards whoever was speaking except from you. You could never get him alone to talk to him since he made sure you were never alone in a room and would spark up a conversation with literally anyone before you could utter a word.

It was midday and you were out on the HMS pogue with them all sitting next to Kie. John B was fishing, JJ was smoking as usual on the other side of the boat, Pope was reading and Kie was on her phone while you were braiding your hair. If the others weren't here you would definitely be able to cut the tension between you and JJ with a knife. If he was going to ignore you for wanting to help him then so would you. Two can play at that game.

The others could sense something was wrong though and were choosing to ignore it. They could tell since JJ had only flirted with Kie all day. He'd willingly had a conversation about science stuff with Pope. And none of them had seen either of you speak a word to each other.

As you sat with your eyes covered by sunglasses and body clad in a purple bikini you heard a squeal emitting from beside you and turned to see John B tipping fish out of a net right next to you and Kie and you felt a small splash on your legs of water from the dead Sea life.

"Nice haul, dude. Look at that." JJ commented.

Kie grimaced scouting away as she moaned at the boy for putting it so close to her. "Ugh, John B."

"Been all bait for, like, three weeks." Then John B threw a fish at JJ landing beside him.

"Gross."

Then your brother turned to you holding a fish in his hand and you scooted further away practically laying on Kie. "John B, do not thr—"

You were interrupted by the slimy fish landing on your lap after it had hit your face. JJ erupted with laughter at that as you narrowed your eyes. Practically the only interaction he had today with you. You narrowed your eyes on JJ before turning to John B and throwing the fish back at him as he ran to the other side of the boat.

Then JJ tackled down at the bow of the boat laughing before Pope jumped on top and Kie joined.

"Incoming." You yelled as you flopped down on the four people pile hearing groans in response with muffled laughter.

"I think you guys squished my organs." John B muttered as JJ nodded but you couldn't help but lie there and wish that this would be the way your life was for ever. The boat adventures, surfing, island life and doing whatever the fuck you wanted.

"Uh... Lu?" Kie muttered nudging your side and you jumped off realising you had just been sitting and staring into space. You noticed JJ wincing slightly as you all got up and felt guilty. Though he did jump into it himself. Literally.

"Sorry."

"No problem, my lungs may no longer work but it's fine." John B said and you flicked him on the forehead when he sat up.

Kie looked to you as though she got an idea and smiled. "Food at the wreck? I've got a shift in like...an hour."

"Not gonna turn down food. Especially from the wreck my favourite place on earth."

"My dads not gonna give you a discount for ass kissing." Kie deadpanned to JJ who looked dejected as you laughed. "You can have leftovers from are lunch menu though if I can convince him."

"Score." He pumped his fist in the air and you rolled your eyes. This was going to be a long day if he kept this up.

    AT THE WRECK the table could not been more awkward. The only seats left were next to each other that both you and JJ were forced to take while the other three sat on the other side of the round table laughing and joking around. It was like they did it on purpose. You picked at the fries in the small basket while JJ entered the conversation and you kept mulling over yesterday. The thought of JJ hating you felt horrible—like you were about to throw up every passing second. It may seem an overreaction to him ignoring you all day but why else would he be. Maybe you did something yesterday. Maybe you said something wrong. Maybe you—

"Lu?" Kiara stared concerned from beside you. Maybe you'd been lost in your thoughts for too long.

"What's up?"

She pointed to your hand and you looked down to see in your ranting thoughts you hadn't paid much attention to anything else and had squished a few fries in your hand. "You murdered some poor fries." She pouted as you laughed.

"Oh. Oops." You dropped them into the basket and by impulse sent a fleeting glance towards JJ who stared at his own food eating slowly which was unusual for him.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine."

Kie nodded in response slowly not really believing you.

"Okay, well I have to go start my shift now. So I’ll see y'all later." You all waved goodbye to the Carrera girl before finishing your food and heading back out on the boat from the docks by the wreck.

First it was dropping Pope off at Heywards to help his dad and then you headed back to the chateau, a silence among you until your brother coughed awkwardly looking between the two off you.

"Okay, none of us said anything earlier but you guys are acting weird. First it was you guys not speaking a word to each other. Then it was your fry mass murder. What's going on?"

"Nothing." JJ shrugged nonchalantly. Yep absolutely nothing was wrong. It was all fine and dandy.

"Whatever you guys want to think." John B shrugged not pushing anymore.

Once you got back to the Chateau John B docked up the boat just as JJ walked off down the dock to the house. You sighed. Could you give him anymore time? This couldn't go on for much longer. Surely.

    HE WAS STILL ignoring you the next day and it was just pissing you off now. So you stormed out to the porch where he had laid himself across the couch smoking. John B was out at work so it was just the two of you there and he was actively avoiding you.

"JJ!"

Still nothing. So you did something he would definitely respond to. You went up to him and before he realised, you had snatched the joint from his fingertips.

"Hey!"

"So now you talk to me." He scowled before attempting to take the joint back but you moved backwards sending concerned eyes to his rigid figure. "I'm worried about you JJ. You come in with bruises and avoid telling me why or letting me help you and then you ignore me all day yesterday. What's going on?"

His eyes softened as he focused his gaze on you and ran a hand through his hair turning around. And just when you thought he was going to open up to you he stopped the softness in his eyes dissipating into emptiness.

"What’s wrong is you just don’t know when to let off. You need to mind your own business Lu. You’re fucking annoying getting in everyone’s business all the time.” His voice was angry but it didn’t reach his eyes. The frustration didn’t reach those baby blue eyes. In fact they were filled with a sea of guilt and regret. But it was done now. He couldn’t go back now. And he knew he’d royally fucked up when he saw your face melt into a melancholy frown. But what did he expect?

So it was your fault. You were too nosey? But you were truly just worried about your friend. Is that a crime?

“Are you joking or something?” You laughed to ease the tension but the coldness in his face didn’t break. “You’ve been mad at me because I care? Your my friend, of course I care. I’m not going to apologise for getting into your business if it means that you’re okay.”

“It’s getting unbearable! You’re getting unbearable and annoying. I can’t—I just needed—need a break! So forgive me for not wanting to talk to you today! Because no one asked you to help them, it’s not your fucking place!”

“I know no one asked thats just what you do as a friend. You support them no matter what. Those bruises are clearly from something bad if you don’t want me to know. So I’m sorry someone actually fucking cares about you JJ!” Your voice raised towards the end but then cracked at the tears building in your throat suffocating you.

It broke JJ. He was causing this. He was the idiot that made you think you were anything less than amazing. But it was for your own good. Right?

Your best friend and unrequited love, thinks your unbearable and annoying and intrusive. And yet had never mentioned it all this time.

“I just need a break for a bit, I need you to leave me alone for a bit and so I can cool off. Is that too hard for you?!”

“What? Our friendship? You can’t just put something like that on hold. You can go fuck yourself cause when your ‘ready’ and ‘cooled off’ I won’t fucking care. Find yourself some new friends who don’t care about you cause it won’t be hard for me to leave you the fuck alone!” You spat at him. Was it too harsh? You were scared it was but he was harsh first. He didn’t say anything after. Just stayed quiet as you scoffed, salty tears sliding down your cheeks.

"You're a fucking asshole JJ Maybank." You shook your head and shoved past the boy. Your mind had completely forgotten about the bruises now. If he wanted to stay out of his business then so be it. You would remove him completely from your life.

The rest of the day you lounged around the house. After the argument you hadn't given JJ his joint back so you got high the rest of the time and it helped. For a few hours and then you were back to mourning your friendship. Thinking about all the good times you’d had. All the times when he didn’t seem to hate you. The blond hadn't resurfaced. He left just after the argument going somewhere but obviously you didn't ask.

It was days after that and you were laying in your bed that was pressed up beside the window and staring at the sky thinking about the blonds words over and over.

A loud knock startled you out of your gaze and you looked down to see the figure of the boy you had been thinking about all day. Your eyes settled on him narrowed and blazing until you saw his face. Littered with more bruises than the day before. More than you could count.

He stood looking so much smaller than any other time than you had seen him. His eyes were watery and red and you could see him trembling slightly. You immediately wanted to take him into your arms and hug him tight. But would he want to?

You quickly went and opened your window allowing him in as you scooted backwards in your bed. When he got in you immediately went and hugged him not even asking for an explanation this time. He was upset and hurt and what he needed then was comfort not an interrogation.

As soon as your arms wrapped around his body he shook with sobs his tears running down your shoulder.

You rubbed his back and made soothing circles as tears of your own leaked out. After 10 minutes he moved away looking down not feeling like he could even look you in the eye after earlier and him crying to you.

"I'm so sorry, Lu. I didn't mean to hurt you and I didn't mean anything I said. I just didn't want you to know. I didn’t want you to know—to see how weak I was. I wanted to push you away so you wouldn't get involved in my messed up life." You nodded slowly as more tears fell. Tears of relief but also sadness. Sad that he didn’t think he could come to you. To confide in you and that instead he pushed you away in the worst way possible hurting you both.

JJ felt like shit. Emotionally and physically. He couldn’t believe what he had done to you days earlier. It was like his mind was in autopilot not allowing you to do anything by watch as you both argued.

He still avoided your gaze until you softly put a hand under his chin lifting his gaze to your as you smiled sadly at him. "It's okay J. I just wanted to make sure you were okay so I could help or stop it somehow. But right now there's more important things than that and I need to get some first aid stuff."

Just as you got up his hand reached out to yours holding it softly and stopping you in your tracks.

"It was my dad."

You froze tears gathering at the hoarseness of his voice and the crack that echoed when he said it. His dad. Though you never liked Luke Maybank, you never thought he would stoop this low. Beating his own child. It would take a lot of willpower not to go over there and give him a taste of his own medicine. The one person that’s supposed to take care of him. To love him. Beats him instead.

You didn't say anything except hug him once more time. Holding him tight but careful around the bruises areas. The thought of his dad putting those bruises and scars all over his body made you sick to your stomach. How dare he. How dare he think he had any right to lay a hand on his child like that.

You left when he sat perched on the edge of your bed no longer crying. It broke your heart since JJ was a tough nut to crack half the time. But this was obviously going to be his breaking point. It would be anyone’s.

You gathered all the thing you'd need and took JJ to the bathroom careful not to wake John B as you did.

"Tell me if it hurts okay?" He nods and you take an antiseptic wipe towards the new cut on his cheek dabbing it gently to clean it. There was another cut on his arm and his split lip which you cleaned as well as the boy stared at you intently. You felt redness spread across your cheeks as you finally looked into his eyes.

"What?" You asked and he just shook his head a small smile appearing.

"I'm just realising how much of an idiot I was pushing you away this morning. Your my best friend—no you're more than that and I shouldn't have done that I just didn't want to get you caught up in this mess."

"Exactly JJ. I'm your best friend. A best friend is meant to be there for you in moments of weakness or through things like this. I don't care about being caught up in all this I just care about you. I’m here for you. Always." You carried on cleaning his open wounds carefully. JJ realises in that moment. You were the one person who stood by him when he got beat up in 4th grade by a bully or when people were hanging up on him and you stood up for him. You stuck around when he did crazy shit that the others didn’t stick around for. He realised that as much as you were there for him, he wanted to be there for you. He wanted to be loved by you. Not by his lowlife dad. Or his random Touron hookups. He wanted them to be you. Always you. He loved you.

"I love you." He spurted out and you stifled a gasp as you stood silently, your hand frozen in air millimetres from his face as you stared at each other. The way he said it didn’t sound like just a friend I love you. It sounded like something more. Some more which you reciprocated but you didn’t think there would ever be a day when he would say that.

"I love you too." You laughed it off.

"No Lu, I—I love you more than a friend."

“I love you more than a friend too. JJ Maybank.” His eyes widened in happiness the corners of his lip turning up and stretching as he grinned despite his split lip.

He looked like he couldn't believe it. But you had been crushing on him for longer than you could remember but you always thought it was one way. That he thought of you like a sister or something.

But maybe this whole time you had both been oblivious to each other’s blatant feelings. At least it was out now.

He placed two hands softly on your cheeks and gently pulled you in closer smashing your lips together. You could taste the metallic blood of his cut as your tongues brushed over each other’s but you didn’t care. You both pulled away breathless as you smiled into his touch. JJ looked dazed. Though the thoughts of his injuries still plagued your mind as you pulled away running out of the room to get an ice pack and some tylenol.

The bruises running down his body made you more angry by the second. But you couldn’t be blinded by that. Keeping a level head for the boy was what was important.

When you came back the boy grinned shaking his head.

“You didn’t need to get me that. What we just did was enough of a pain reliever. Though it did make me wanna relieve myself in another way if you—”

“JJ. No.” He pouted as you said that like a sad puppy.

“Another time?”

“Yeah whatever.” You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help but smile. Somehow even through this JJ managed to smile and joke around. He had his bad days. Like the last. But he was strong. And you loved him for that. “I’m always here for you if you need me. In that way and any other way. Also you’re not going home.”

“Of course, Milady. Why don’t we go watch Netflix and—”

“Do not finish that J.”

“Awe, come on.”

Note • This is so long Jesus. And it took me so long to finish writing and edit and I still kinda hate it but I don’t think it’ll get better than this. Oh well. Oh I forgot that when I was writing it I gave them a name rather than y/n and I cba to change it now.

[langdxn]

Omg I love this song idea so much! How about Love Bites by Def Leppard? 💕

So this was a pretty popular request! I’ve also had (quite) a few asks for some Xavier goodness with mixtapes so I’ve merged them all together, I hope that’s okay! This is quite sub!Xavier too and fluffy as hell, so be warned... 🖤🖤🖤

“Fuck you, Xavier, I knew you stole my Hall and Oates!”

A tornado of cassette tapes and receipts circled the front seat as Chet furiously rummaged through the glove box of the Vanta-C.

“Oh please, Chet, don’t pretend you have good taste in music,” Xavier cast a salacious grin over to his passenger, snowed under a pile of parking tickets and rolling papers. “I’ve seen your collection and there’s way too much Whitney Houston in there.”

“Blasphemy!” Ray chimed in from beside you. “There’s no such thing as too much Whitney Houston!”

“You keep telling yourself that, Mr Pet Shop Boys,” Xavier barked back.

“Hey, that’s my Billy Idol!” Montana screeched was a cassette tape flew in her direction. “I’ve been looking for this for weeks, Klepto Plympton!”

“I can’t be held responsible for you jerks littering up my van!” Xavier shrugged, his cut-off jade vest emphasising every single slick movement of his muscles.

Tossing aside an empty hip flask, a distinctive red tape with a Tipp-Exed label fell right into Chet’s hands.

“What’s this?” Chet raved, holding it aloft like a trophy, noticing your name scrawled into the bumpy white sticker. “Is this a mixtape for the shy one?”

“I—uhh,” Xavier stuttered, frantically searching for an explanation, his gaze fixed on the red tape in Chet’s hand as if willing it to not exist. “She needed a new tape for her metal aerobics class, didn’t you babe?”

You leaned forward in your seat in the far back corner, speechless. The whole gang turned to face you, intently watching your reaction to the development.

“Bullshit, Plympton, she’s just as surprised as we are.” Ray landed a reassuring hand on your knee. “Looks like our Xav’s got the hots for you, pretty girl!”

“Then let’s hear it,” Chet slotted the tape into the cassette player, rubbing his hands together as he waited for the first notes.

“Shut up guys,” Xavier snapped, clearing his throat and slamming his hand on the pause button. “We hardly know each other.”

“Hardly know each other, my ass,” Montana smirked from ear to ear, leaning in to whisper to you. “Good luck babe, his dick is huge.”

Xavier swerved the van around a tight corner and pulled to a stop, yanking the handbrake with all his might and peering over his sunglasses.

“Last stop, the studio. Everybody out, you motherfuckers!”

The blur of everybody grabbing their bags and jackets zoomed past you like a neon kaleidoscope. Before long, you were the only one left in the van, deafening silence replacing the cacophony of gossip and the grinding of lighters sparking up joints.

You were staring into mid-air for what felt like hours, concentrating on that red tape nestled in the player. Was Xavier telling the truth? Or had he actually made a mixtape for you? There’s no way a guy as flawless as that aerobics maestro could be interested in you; he was right about one thing, you hardly knew each other. Not that familiarity seemed to bother him too much, the talk of his past hookups suggested the less he knew about the girl he was screwing, the better.

“Cat got your tongue, baby girl?” Xavier piped up from the van door, peering his heavenly blue gaze over his sunglasses. “Haven’t you got a class?”

“N—no, not for another half hour,” you stumbled over your words like a lovesick teenager, tucking your hair behind your ear and gazing at the floor. Xavier hauled himself into the back, swinging the van door closed behind him and crashing down on the seat beside you.

“Then we’ve got all the time in the world, beautiful,” he purred into your ear, his arm draping over your shoulder as he leaned over you.

The tense air between you filled with familiar sounds from the tape player, Def Leppard booming through the speakers Xavier had rigged in the back.

If you’ve got love in your sights, watch out, love bites

“Is this—“

“Yep,” Xavier hummed. “Just for you, babe.”

“I—I love Def Leppard,” you stumbled over your words, losing yourself in his oceanic gaze.

When you make love, do you look in your mirror?

“I know you do, baby,” he husked, a hand reaching to ghost featherlight fingertips over your bare thigh, daring himself to slip his fingers beneath your skirt. “I know you better than you think, shy girl.”

Who do you think of? Does he look like me?

“You think so?” You quirked an eyebrow, leaving Xavier swallowing hard and rearranging his tight white trousers, his pants failing miserably at concealing the raging hard-on beneath the thin fabric. Not that Xavier minded you knowing the state he’s got himself in, the restriction of his clothing just made him more frustrated.

Do you tell lies? And say that it’s forever?

Suddenly, you swung a thigh over his lap and straddled Xavier’s waist in one slick move. The actor’s arm was still draped across the chair you just left, stunned into silence for the first time in a long while.

Do you think twice, or just touch and see?

“You still sure about that, lover boy?” You cupped his delicate face in your hands, fingers digging passionate trenches into his neck as you leaned in to kiss him deeply.

When you’re alone, do you let go?

“You kept that quiet,” Xavier chuckled into your mouth, humming contentedly as his hands finally compute your move and surge up to wander across the expanse of your back.

Are you wild and willing or is it just for show?

“I keep a lot of things quiet, Plympton. You should try it sometime.”

I don’t want to touch you too much baby

Trailing your hand down the hollow of his throat and following the curve of his chest to the waistband of his pants, Xavier’s breaths quickened and his heart raced. He simply couldn’t conjure one of his quick-witted one liners to entice you further — for a start, you didn’t need enticing further. Your sudden assertion of control over him made Xavier weak, knocking all sense of power out of him as you assumed your place on top of him.

‘Cause making love to you might drive me crazy

“What’s the matter, baby?” You cooed as you slowly inched his zipper down and set his length free with a groan caught in the back of Xavier’s throat. “Cat got your tongue?”

I know you think that love is the way you make it

“I—I… fuck,” Xavier slicked back his quiff and searched your eyes for confirmation. “Am I dreaming right now?”

So I don’t want to be there when you decide to break it

“Not quite, Xav,” you hummed as your fingers curled around his tip and palmed him softly, his hips gently rocking into your touch. “Just be a good boy and let me take control.”

Love bites, love bleeds, it’s bringing me to my knees

Raising your hips to line his tip with your soaking folds, electric anticipation bolted through your core as his length slipped inside you. You both moaned erotically in unison, Xavier’s head throwing back into the chair as you eased down onto his cock.

Love lives, love dies, it’s no surprise

“You know you could’ve just told me you liked me, right?” A groan died in Xavier’s throat as he bottomed out, hands gripping your hips as you sank down onto him.

Love begs, love pleads, it’s what I need

“Now where’s the fun in that?” You whimpered lightly, sinking open-mouthed kisses into the nape of his neck. “After all, you thought I was shy.”

When I’m with you are you somewhere else?

“I also thought you wouldn’t be up for banging on the first date but we’ve not even made it to a first date yet.”

Am I getting through or do you please yourself?

“I think we’re way past first dates, don’t you?” You punctuated with a slow roll of your hips, sending Xavier’s eyes shooting to the ceiling. “You made me a goddamn mixtape, Xav.”

When you wake up will you walk out?

“Yeah well—oh fuck—it wasn’t supposed to come out like this,” Xavier growled under his breath, jutting his hips up to meet yours.

It can’t be love if you throw it about

“What wasn’t, baby?”

I don’t wanna touch you too much baby

“How—how I feel about you,” Xavier glanced down to where your bodies met, watching his cock emerge from your folds soaking wet, your arousal dribbling onto his white pants.

‘Cause making love to you might drive me crazy

“Use your words, Plympton,” you snapped down onto his length and wriggled your hips to take him as deep inside you as possible, instigating a tight, burning, wanting sensation deep within your walls — teasing Xavier only led you even closer to your own orgasm. “You didn’t pick Love Bites just because you’ve got a high school crush, did you?”

Love bites, love bleeds, it’s bringing me to my knees

Constricting your walls around him and drinking in the accompanying moans spilling from his lips, you resolved to hold off cumming until he spoke out.

Love lives, love dies, it’s no surprise

“You’re really gonna make me say it, aren’t you?” Xavier tried in vain to distract you both by pistoning his hips up to you, but he only succeeded in chasing his own release as his cock smoothly grazed your pulsing walls with every thrust. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum—“

Love begs, love pleads, it’s what I need

“Goddamnit Xav, just say it so I can say it back already.”

Xavier shot you a perplexed look, raised eyebrows tangling with his blissfully parted O-shaped lips to create his own brand of ‘about to cum but confused about it’ look.

If you’ve got love in your sights, watch out, love bites

Spotting his weakness, you started grinding down on him with a smooth flick of your hips, tightening your walls around him and watching in awe as his back arched frantically and his cock twitched fervently, desperately, relentlessly.

“I… I think I’m in love with you.”

With his confession, Xavier pumped into you and gave into his release, pouring against your walls just as you unleashed a fresh tidal wave of arousal over him. Your blending moans filled the van well above the music, a symphony of lust-blown cries as you both gripped onto each other.

Yes it does, it will be hell

Melting gasps and exhausted breaths into one, you fell speechless as you rode out your orgasm together. Venturing both hands to cup his face, you stole a blissful kiss from his lips and melted into him as his arms wrapped around you. Pressing your forehead against his, you whispered softly.

“I love you too, Xavier.”

[artificialqueens]

Taste of a Poison Paradise, Chapter 9 (Multi) - Joley

Chapter Summary: In the wake of Lemon’s outburst at the club, those closest to her process the fallout and realize something needs to be done before she spirals to the point of no return.

ao3 link

“Okay, I think that’s the last box,” Juice remarked as she dropped herself down onto the couch. “So, why’d your cousin kick you out again?”

Lemon scoffed and rolled her eyes as she piled up the empty boxes. “She didn’t kick me out, we both decided it was time for me to move.” She decided her college friend-turned-roommate didn’t need to know about the argument she had with Rosé. And she certainly didn’t need to know that she’d rejected her ultimatum of, “if you want to stay here, you can’t keep getting drunk every day.” It had been a week since the incident at the club and she was going to recover from it on her own terms.

“Alright, cool,” she shrugged as she took out her phone and began aimlessly scrolling. “You wanna do something tonight?”

The blonde perched herself on the armrest of the couch, swinging her legs. “We could go to a club and get shitfaced,” she suggested.

Juice shook her head without looking up from her phone. “You can. I mean, I’ll totally go with you and turn shit up, but I don’t drink.”

“More for me.”

Her friend looked her over with a concerned expression, eyes finally pried away from the screen. “Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked gently. “I mean, I know you’ve been through a lot, have you considered talking to someone about it?”

Lemon shook her head. “I’m fine, I don’t have the emotional capacity for therapy.” She got back up and looked around. “Shit, I guess you don’t have any liquor in here then. I’ll be back,” and after putting her shoes on and grabbing her purse, she was out the door, leaving a concerned new roommate in her wake.

——

Rosé sighed as she passed the joint back to Mik. “This doesn’t make me a bad person, right? I mean the last thing I want to do is make Lemon’s issues about me. But god, that really is what made me realize that I have to do this.”

Mik shook her head as she took a hit. “It’s not your fault, you saw a trainwreck and realized you needed to keep your ass on the tracks.” She finished off the joint and put it out. “Listen, the last thing you wanna do is be that girl who pines over the person she’s sleeping with until it’s too late.”

“You’re right, I know. I’m gonna talk to her,” she exhaled deeply as she pushed herself up. “If Lemon comes around, please don’t have sex with her.”

“Oh fuck off,” she huffed, “that delayed her mental breakdown by at least a week.”

Rosé rolled her eyes as she left. She wasn’t mad at Mik for that, if anything maybe it did help Lemon temporarily by giving her a distraction. But she had so much more on her mind, things that have been brewing since the club incident.

Before she could talk herself out of it, she knocked on Denali’s door, evening out her breathing while she waited for her.

“Hey Rosie,” Denali smiled warmly as she opened the door, leading her inside and shutting it behind them. “What’s up? You usually text me when you’re on your way over.” They sat down on the couch as she spoke, a tinge of concern in her voice.

She swallowed thickly, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment. “I know I’ve been distant lately with everything that’s been happening with Lemon. But through all the chaos, I realized something, that keeping your feelings bottled up is dangerous.” Another deep breath, this time she forced herself to look into Denali’s eyes, eyes that she found warmth and comfort in every time she gazed into them. “What I’m trying to say is that I have feelings for you. I don’t just wanna be fuck buddies, it’s not enough. I need all of you.”

Denali blinked, taking her time to process Rosé’s confession. At first it was pure surprise, but once she let it sink in, it clicked that she felt the same way, that she had been falling for her all along without realizing it. “You have all of me,” she told her, cupping her face and pressing a deep kiss to her lips.

In that moment, a weight lifted from Rosé’s chest. If only for the duration of a kiss, she could pretend nothing in the world existed outside of Denali’s apartment. She could stop thinking, stop worrying. It was only them, everything else faded to black. “Are we alone?” she asked against her lips.

“Mhm,” she nodded, a slight smirk tugging at her lips, able to fill in the blanks from there. Her hands traveled down Rosé’s body, tugging off her shirt in one swift motion, her own following suit, though they took their time undressing each other, letting their fingers and lips gently caress each other’s skin.

By the time they were both completely undressed, they had gotten each other thoroughly worked up. Rosé had Denali sit up on the couch, then got on her knees in front of her, pushing her thighs apart. She moved in between them, dragging her tongue along her pussy before circling, then sucking on her clit as she eased a finger into her.

Denali’s head lolled back to rest against the back of the couch, a pleased moan escaping. “Mm, Rosie…” she exhaled, her hips pushing up when Rosé slid in a second finger. “Baby, just like that, feels so good.”

She basked in the praise, continuing her movements, occasionally switching her tongue and her fingers, but never leaving her unattended. She was focused and fervent, bringing Denali to an orgasm as quickly as she could, as if she were setting it as a challenge to herself. Once she’d won her game, she pulled back with a smile, gazing up at her. “God, you’re beautiful.”

“And you’re sappy,” she teased affectionately, leaning down to kiss her. “Come on,” she got up and pulled Rosé to her feet, “we can cuddle until I gotta get ready for my shift.”

——

Nicky watched Jan with a concerned expression. She wished she knew what to do, how to talk to her and help her. Ever since the incident at the club, she had been quiet, withdrawn, two words she would never think to associate with the bubbly woman she loved so dearly. It killed her to see her girlfriend hurting, enough for her to put her aversion to emotional conversations aside as she sat beside her on the couch, gently taking her hand. “Please tell me what’s wrong. You haven’t been the same since what happened with Lemon and I’m worried about you.”

Jan chewed on her lip, her gaze downcast. Logically, she knew she couldn’t avoid this conversation forever, but it didn’t make it any easier. “Lemon is like a sister to me and I’m worried about her. I know what alcoholism looks like… and I know what it can do to someone, it’s not pretty.”

She furrowed her brows, shifting closer to the younger woman. “What do you mean?”

“Well, um…” she swallowed thickly, “my dad’s five years sober now, but it hit a nasty low before it got better. I-I don’t know what that low would be for Lemon, I’m afraid she’s hit it, but I’m even more afraid she hasn’t.”

Nicky nodded as she listened. She had suspected Lemon might have developed a bit of a drinking habit, but not the severity, and certainly not the effect it would have on Jan. “I am so sorry about your father, and about Lemon. Is there anything we can do?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “My dad went to rehab while I was away at college, but I imagine my mom laid down some ultimatums, but I don’t know if Lemon thinks she has anything left to lose.”

“There has to be some way, and I’m going to help you find it,” she promised.

——

“Thank you all for meeting me here,” Juice said as she looked around the two pushed-together tables in the diner. “For those of you who don’t know, my name is Julia - Juice - and Lemon moved in with me about four days ago.”

“What happened?” Rosé immediately asked. “Is she okay?”

The blonde hesitated and looked down at the table. “Technically yes, she’s nursing a hangover at home right now but otherwise fine, unless she’s started day drinking. But there’s a bigger issue, and I’m sure you guys have started to suspect as much. What I’m trying to say is she’s developing an alcohol problem, and if we don’t do something about it now, it could get much worse.”

Everyone else had similar expressions - sadness, concern, anxiety. But none of them were surprised. “What do we do, then?” Rosé asked, breaking a tense moment of silence.

“Listen, I’m not claiming to be an expert. I’m twenty-two, sober for eight months now, so I can relate to how she’s feeling. What she’s going to need is everyone to rally around her, because it won’t be easy to convince her to get help.”

“So can we stage an intervention?” Jaida asked. “Do you have someone we can talk to?”

Juice nodded. “I can talk to my sponsor and have her put us in touch with someone who can get her into a detox, put the whole thing together. It goes so far beyond just telling her to stop drinking, especially in a club environment.”

“Speaking of the club environment,” Gigi chimed in, “we have to address the elephant in the room. What are we gonna do about the Priyanka situation? She told Crystal she’s taking a day job until things cool off, but if Lemon gets help… maybe that’ll expedite the process.”

Jackie sighed, but agreed. “I can open auditions to take on another dancer temporarily, I don’t know how long she’s gonna need, but assuming she chooses to get help, I want her to know she has a place to come back to.” She was quiet for a moment, then added, “I’m going to reach out to Priyanka too, I know she hasn’t been answering most of our calls or texts, but I think I might be able to get through to her.”

“My god, we’ve been so caught up with Lemon, we’ve barely kept up with Pri. Are we bad friends?” Jan asked, feeling a mix of guilt and sadness.

Juice shook her head. “No, of course not. Everyone here is doing their best. You guys reach out to Priyanka and figure out a way to get Lemon to the intervention when the time comes, I’ll do what I can on my part.” From there, they all just had to hope for the best.

——

Jackie took a deep breath, making sure she was calm and collected before knocking on the door. When a woman with black hair and tattoos opened the door, she greeted her politely. “Hi, you must be Scarlett. Um, can you tell Priyanka that Jackie’s here to see her?”

Scarlett nodded, disappearing back into her apartment. There was a solid few minutes of waiting, but Priyanka eventually came to the door. “Hey,” she greeted meekly and led Jackie inside.

Jackie sat at the edge of the bed in the guest room Priyanka had been staying in. “How have you been? You know we’re all worried about you.”

Priyanka’s gaze never left the floor. She picked pieces of lint off of her shorts as she sat down as well, swinging her legs aimlessly. How could she even begin to tackle that question when everything she had ever known had changed overnight? How can anyone process that sort of thing? “Scarlett convinced me to try therapy. I’ve had a couple sessions so far… It helped, I think, but it’s just scratching the surface, you know?”

She listened attentively, nodding along. “I’m proud of you for that. How did your family react when you and Mark broke up?”

“It’s funny, as angry as he was, he didn’t out me. He said it’s clear I have my own problems to work through. My mom was furious that the wedding was called off, so I threw in the ‘I like girls’ news because, well, it couldn’t get any worse,” she sighed. “I don’t think it’s fully hit her yet. She asked me if it was an excuse to get out of the wedding. I haven’t heard back since I told her it was the truth, and I haven’t heard from my dad at all.” She laid back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. “I couldn’t even say that I’m gay. It’s too much, I can’t just be gay,” she sat back up and grabbed a tissue, quickly dabbing the corners of her eyes. “How do you get past it, Jackie? How do you stop being afraid of yourself?”

Jackie pressed her lips together as she tried to articulate an answer. “There’s no easy solution, but I’m sure you’ve figured that out by now. I don’t think I was ever ready to be gay, one day I just came to terms with the fact that I was miserable trying to avoid my own truth and that the only way I was ever going to be happy was by loving even the scariest parts of myself.”

Priyanka went quiet again, crumpling the tissue in her hand and staring at it as if the answers were there. “So you don’t think I’ll be able to be fully happy until I embrace being gay?”

“That’s for you to decide. But think of it this way; when you think about your future, best case scenario, what is it in your life that’s making you happy?”

The answer for that wasn’t in her hand, it was in her heart. It made its way into her throat, choking her from the inside and making her pulse race. After everything, it nearly made her angry that it felt inevitable. “Lemon.”

——

“Juice just texted me that they’re on the way,” Rosé read off her phone, her free hand squeezing Denali’s tight, her leg bouncing anxiously.

The woman they’d brought in to help Lemon, Widow, nodded calmly. “Remember, at the end of the day we are here to help her. We’re not punishing or lecturing her, but we have to be firm.”

After another review of the plan, they heard the door open and looked up to see the two girls walk in, Lemon’s expression immediately becoming confused as she looked around. “Are you guys fucking intervention-ing me?” she asked as she took the empty seat to the right of Rosé.

“Lemon, your friends and family are here because they care about you and are worried about your health,” Widow explained. “Now, I know what you’re thinking, ‘this bitch wants to send me to some random rehab until I come back sober for good’, but this isn’t like that. We get that you’re twenty-one, fresh out of college, no history of addiction.”

“So why am I here?” Lemon interjected.

Rosé arched her brow. “Well, for starters, you haven’t been sober a full twenty-four hours in nearly three weeks, you’ve been acting completely unhinged every time you get trashed. You’re actively trying to alienate yourself from everyone who cares about you, you-” She stopped short when Denali squeezed her hand, her cue to reel it in. “You’re going down a dangerous path and we don’t want you to get hurt.”

“This isn’t one of those ninety-day programs either,” Jackie chimed in. “It’s only three weeks, and the first five days are just for detoxing. We’re not saying you have to be sober for good, this isn’t AA, it’s a program that’s going to give you the support and help you need to still enjoy things in moderation instead of relying on alcohol as a coping mechanism.”

Lemon nodded and listened as the rest of the group said their pieces to try to convince her to go. And she took it in, but she was also looking around and at the door. After a while, it became clear that she was waiting for - hoping for - another person.

“Priyanka wanted to come,” Jackie told her. “But we weren’t sure how you would react and decided it would be better if she waited at least until after you detox to contact you. You have to know, though, she really does care about you.”

She sunk further into her chair, not angry, but embarrassed. It shouldn’t have had to come to this, she knew that, knew better. And she hated that everything they said was right, that she did need help. “Fine,” she mumbled, “I’ll go.”

There was a collective sigh of relief as the tension dissipated throughout the room. “Rosé and Juice will go back with you to your apartment so you can pack, we’re going to get you checked in tonight,” Widow explained. “The facility is in Westchester, you won’t be more than an hour away and visitation is every Saturday.”

Rosé looked at her younger cousin and could tell she was doing her best to cover her fear and anxiety. She wrapped her arms around her and hugged her tightly. “You’re going to be okay, baby,” she promised, “they’re gonna take good care of you, and you’re gonna be better than ever once you’re done.”

Lemon nodded quietly, wiping her eyes. “I just wanna get this over with,” she mumbled, still unwilling to allow herself to be vulnerable in front of everyone, though the group anticipated that from her and let it be. All any of them could do now was trust the process.

[carlossainzbutthole]

Happy Birthday to me - MGK Imagine

Rating - f/fluff s/smut (a lil)

Word count - 945

Hi guys! sorry i’ve been MIA for the past few weeks just been doing school corona virus is kicking my ass i’ve got loads of saved work and getting through requests so keep sending them through if you want something specific! i hope y’all are staying safe :))

“COLSON!” “DAD!” both you and cassie scream jumping on your bed waking him up “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” Cassie adds and colson grabs both of you falling down “morning” he says with his raspy morning voice giving you each a kiss “can i make pancakes?!” cassie asked excitedly and he laughs “of course i’ll be right out” he replies as she runs to the kitchen “as for you” he adds gripping your sides “happy birthday babe” you say giving him a loving kiss “did you get me a present?” he questions with a smirk “well i couldn’t exactly go out and buy you something but i’ve got something in mind” you tell him and he raises an eyebrow “but.. you have to wait until later” you explain as he trails kisses down your neck “let’s go make some pancakes” he says and you laugh getting off him and dragging him towards his daughter.

“these are amazing cas! even rook got out of bed” you say and she smiles “hey leave me alone” he defends himself “best birthday ever” colson says and everyone laughs shoveling food into their mouths. The day goes on and everyone spent the day chatting and playing games “Rook” colson calls out from your bedroom while you and cassie are playing an intense game of monopoly, a few minutes later Rook emerges and asks cassie if she wants to go on a walk which she eagerly says yes after being stuck inside for the past week “ we’ll be back in a bit” rook says shutting the door giving you a wink which leaves you confused until you see colson leaning against the door frame “you look amazing” he compliments inching his way closer to you “as do you birthday boy” you joke with him now standing in between your legs “how’s your birthday going” you ask and he smiles “couldn’t have asked for anything better, something about being locked inside and no clubs being open is nice” he admits and you give a wide smile “how about a drink” you suggest and he runs over to your drinks cabinet pouring you both some vodka this will be interesting.

A few minutes and shots later you and colson are laughing hysterics on the couch looking back on past birthdays you two had shared “remember that one time you fell off the tour bus trying to murder Baze” he reminds you and you laugh even harder “that’s the last time he steals my joint” you admit, “i love you” colson says out of the blue and you smirk “i love you too” you say engulfing him in a heated kiss, he pulls you on top of him giving him more acces of you “that’s nasty” you hear someone say and you pull away seeing Rook and you giggle “it’s only 7 sober up you can give your birthday present to him later, for now let’s have some hot drinks and watch a movie, keep it in your pants” he jokes walking away leaving you and colson red in the face “don’t worry i’ll make sure ill unwrap my present later” he whispers in your ear nipping it sending shivers down your spine “hey do we still have hot chocolate” you hear cassie ask “yeah hold up i’m coming, you find a movie” you say pointing to colson while giving him a glare as he smacks your bum as you get off him joining cassie.

“i think someone’s ready for bed” rook says staring at cassie fast asleep on the pillows against your legs “i got her” colson says unwrapping his arms from you and picking her up. He lays her in her bed and tucks her in “i really like y/n dad” she says half asleep “so do i baby” he says with a smile giving her a kiss on her forehead “can she stay forever” she adds rolling over “i’m not letting her go trust me” he tells her hearing soft snores “goodnight” he adds turning the light off and shutting the door. “she’s fast asleep” he says plopping himself back down on the couch wrapping his arms are you once again continuing to watch the movie.

“that was a shit movie” Rook says and you stare at him “are you joking i love Jeff Goldblum” you retaliate and folsom’s laughs “i’m gonna leave before you kill me, goodnight guys” he says running off and you and colson laugh “i thought it was a good movie” colson says kissing you “i knew there was a reason i’m dating you” you joke “oh is that the only reason” he says while jokingly looking offended “there’s a few other reasons” you smirk “is that right” he whispers pulling you closer to him kissing you slowly leading to a full on make out “i think i’ll take my present now” colson says softly taking you to your bedroom “wait.” he says before running out of the room only to return a few seconds later “just making sure everyone’s asleep we are not getting interrupted again” he says out of breath “your stupid sometimes” you say pulling in for another kiss “enough of this-“ he throws you onto the bed grinding against you letting a soft moan escape your lips “we gotta be quite baby” he whispers and you giggle “then hurry up and fuck me colson” you state and he has an evil grin on his face “now now i’m going to take my time this is my birthday present after all” he explains and you internally groan “fine” is all you could say “your gonna regret this later” you add and he laughs “i highly doubt that” he winks and you bite your lip, seems that it was your birthday aswell.