#i’m glad alice turned out how i expected her to!! i did end up making her a little older though

[simstoyourdismay]

hadley family

[random-of-random]

The Pirate Queen

Chapter 7 - At the End of All of This

Author’s Note: Thank you for the reviews and the comments. For every single like! You guys are awesome!

The person sent to escort her to the ship was none other than Lieutenant Groves. He seemed shaken by her, even after the hours had gone by.

“Please…” he asked as he held out his arm and Alice realized they didn’t want to see her shackled as they headed toward the ship. They walked out side by side, as if two courting would go for a stroll. If it weren’t for her dress, no one would be the wiser that anything was amiss.

As they walked he kept a strict eye on her, worried she would sprint at the first chance. However, Alice had no plans for that. It wouldn’t do any good. She would just be stuck on Port Royal.

The ship was deserted, they were the first ones aboard. Of course, she thought, Norrington would not want the men to even see her if he could help it.

She expected Groves to lead her to the dungeon, but was surprised when he led her to the main cabin on the ship. The double doors were accented with opaque windows. The room was, in a word, beautiful. There was a lush bed on the far side. A desk against the wall to her left, behind it a few literary books.

“What is this?” She asked, stunned.

“The Commodore’s quarters.” Groves answered her and she looked to him in surprise. “The Commodore will have other arrangements.” Alice had to give a small chuckle to which Groves raised his eyebrows.

“Did you think I would expect him to stay in here with me? Ravish me, as it were?” She asked.

A hint of pink colored his cheeks. “We will set sail when the men have finished her preparations.” He couldn’t even look at her.

“Thank you.” She said quickly. Groves gave a polite nod before leaving. The locked clicked behind him. In that moment a wave of exhaustion seemed to overcome her. Alice had not slept the night before, her concern for her crew and more had kept her pacing. Sitting down on the bed she took another look around.

Everything about the room was distinctly James Norrington and she feared it would haunt her to madness. More so, she didn’t know what she could offer to help them in anyway. She had no idea how to get to the Isla de Muerta. Even if they managed to catch up to them, she was sure Barbosa and his crew would destroy the entire ship.

In that moment she thought about the things she would miss in life. The laughter with her crew, the smell of the sea air after a storm, the way James’ eyes would light up when he smiled at her. Her thoughts were interrupted as footsteps echoed on deck. They were preparing to leave. There was nothing more she could do as sleep overwhelmed her and the idea of being in Norrington’s bed was more comforting than she expected.

��—————————-

You should never wake a sleeping pirate. They are always ready for a fight. At least, Alice tried when the door opened and she reached for the pistol that should have been at her hip. She grabbed at air and shook her head to wake her senses.

“Well, I am certainly glad I had your weapons taken.” Norrington commented as he shut the door behind him. She shook her head of the sleepiness that remained in time to see him set a plate on his desk. Bread, cheese, meat. Everything to keep her going, as well as a pitcher filled with some liquid Alice could not make out.

“It’s water.” He said, seeming to read her mind. “There is some whiskey in the bottom left drawer of the desk, should you prefer.” He turned to leave.

“Commodore…” Her voice caught him, he couldn’t have left if he wanted. “I’m still me.”

“You’re a pirate.” He said turning to face her. His voice seemed to have lost some of its bite. James tried… he tried so hard to stay as angry as he could, but when he looked at her…. That fire halted. Still, his mind remembered that she had lied. “I know so many of the things you have done.” Alice’s reputation seemed to proceed her - as she have carefully cultivated it to do.

She let out a small laugh before slowly standing. “Most of that has been exaggerated.” She started, her eyes connecting with his. This time he couldn’t look away. “Legends and stories have a way of helping people…. Why am I here? You know I can’t do anything to really help you.” His eyes seemed to darken as she connected the dots. Alice was a pirate Captain. Maybe not as famous as some, but well known none-the-less. “You mean to trade me…” It hit her in an instant. Norrington, at least, had the courtesy to look ashamed. “You think Barbosa will trade Elizabeth for another pirate Captain.”

His words seemed to fault him. “I..I-“

“You don’t understand. You should have just strung me up in Port Royal because Barbosa will want nothing to do with me.” She sat down in the desk chair and let out a harsh breath. “What is going to happen if we manage to catch up to Barbosa and he doesn’t want to make a trade?” Norrington stood quietly, watching her. In that moment Alice opened the bottom left drawer to his desk and took out the bottle of whiskey. She opened it and took a long sip. “You mean me to die anyway.”

“I don’t want you to die!” He shouted before taking a deep breath. “There was nothing I could do.” Norrington admitted. He felt helpless and he absolutely hated feeling helpless. “The Governor found out who you were. I did not tell him.” He needed Alice to know that. Needed her to know he didn’t - wouldn’t - betray her. “Had I not arrested you, he would have gone over my head. It would have happened anyway, but you and your men, would not have made it out of Port Royal.”

“So you made a deal…” she guessed and he nodded.

“I said I would bring you with us to find Elizabeth.”

Alice took another long sip of the whiskey. Her mind reeling.

“If you don’t mind, I only have a few days before I see Sam Bellamy again, so I would like to maintain a nice drunk.” It was as if her words actively moved him. In an instant he was next to her, pulling her out of the chair. He grabbed the whiskey and set it harshly on the desk before putting one arm around her and the other hand to cup her cheek. Just listening to her speaking of how she wouldn’t be there… be somewhere that he could hold her… that was enough for him.

“Alice…” her name on his lips made a her let out a small gasp. She could feel her body shaking, but she was not afraid.

“Have…” she thought about her words for a moment. “Have you regretted that kiss yet?”

His eyes softened as his thumb brushed her cheek. “I told you, that’s not possible.” His forehead rested against hers. He let the moment linger before he stepped backwards and after a longing look, left.

————————-

It was late in the day, the sun setting, when Norrington came back. He carried two plates and one of his men shut and locked the door behind him. Alice moved so she was sitting on the edge of the bed as she watched him.

“I thought you would like some dinner.” He offered, setting the plates on his desk.

“Thank you, Commodore.” She stood. He sat behind his desk and her across from him. They were both quiet as they began to eat. Alice risking a glance up at him. He had take his hat off, but not his wig.

“Is it customary to eat with prisoners?” She asked and he finally looked up at her. A handsome smirk crossed his features.

“No.” He answered. “Though it’s not customary to allow prisoners to sleep in my quarters either.”

Several jokes ran through her mind, but she kept them to herself. “So, Commodore-“

“James…” He said softly. “When we’re in here, please call me James.” Alice felt her jaw clench in an effort to push aside emotions.

“James then, what did you tell the Governor about you eating in here?”

“That we were discussing strategy.” He said before taking a small bite of meat.

“And what strategies would you like to discuss?”

“I…” he seemed to think about his response for a few seconds. “I would like to know about you.” Warning bells seemed to go off in Alice’s mind. Was this just his own strategy? A way to find out more about her crew, about her men? Better leverage in how to hunt them down.

“I’m not going to tell you about my crew.” She said quickly and his eyes studied her. It occurred to him - too late - that, while he wanted things to be the way they had before, they couldn’t. James was sitting at a desk as a Commodore, and Alice was his prisoner.

“I don’t want to know about your crew.” He assured her. “I am not trying to get information out of you to use against you.” He watched her amber eyes study him curiously. “You said everything was real except the name and the background. So, I want to know you.”

Alice took a ragged breath. At that moment she really didn’t have a lot to lose. “My name is Alice. It’s Alice Buckley.” She said carefully. “I was born in Ireland, but raised in the colonies in a town called Boston. My father worked on ships and my mother was a seamstress.” Alice couldn’t help but smile at the memory of her parents. “My father died when I was 11. I was their only child. His friends took pity on us and taught me to work on boats, help out where I could.”

“Your mother was alright with that?” James asked.

“She was grateful for the extra income. Plus, I don’t think she could have stopped me if she tried. She got sick when I was 14.” Alice’s eyes misted over. “She died a few months later.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Thank you.” Alice took a sip of her water. “When I was 15 I made my way to Cape Cod and that’s where I met Sam Bellamy.”

“The infamous pirate.” James said with a roll of his eyes.

“Sam wasn’t a pirate then.” Alice explained. “He was recruiting to go look for missing Spanish gold. He didn’t want to take me at first - wary of having a woman on board. But, I impressed him. I knew what I was doing, so he gave me a chance.”

“He didn’t find the Spanish gold though.” James recalled.

“No, he didn’t. We looked, but it wasn’t happening. Then, we figured out another way to get money.”

“Piracy.” She could see the annoyance and fire in James’ eyes.

“Despite what you may think, James, pirates are not all like Barbosa.”

“Is that so?”

“You’re sitting here with me right now. Am I eating with my fingers? Do I have no respectability? Am I not a decent person?” She called back to the night of the party at the Swann house and James leaned back in his seat. “On a Pirate ship, we all are equal. It doesn’t matter what family we were born into, what religion, what race. We become family. We vote for our Captain and our Quartermaster and-“

“You vote?” James asked.

“Yes.”

“And if a Captain is not satisfactory?”

“He, or in my case she, can be replaced.” James seemed to scoff. “Look, I am not saying that every pirate is civilized. I am saying, we respect one another - at least on the ships I’ve been on. You may say Sam Bellamy’s name with disdain, but those were his rules that I still follow. I would rather be a pirate a millions time before following the laws of the crown.”

“You are resolute, I’ll give you that.” James poured them both a glass of whiskey.

“You have never had a good encounter with a pirate?” She asked and he looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “Present company excluded.”

James leaned back in his seat and took a small sip of his whiskey, letting himself collect his thoughts. “My father… he hated pirates. Hated them with everything he had. In fact he delighted in tracking them down and handing out the punishments. He was… particularly brutal.”

“I’m sure he would have loved me.” Alice said with a wink before taking her own sip of whiskey. James just stared at her. “James? What is it?”

“My father made me come on a voyage with him once I was around the age of 6. He was tracking down a pirate - had been for a while, but we finally caught up to him.” James eyes seemed to gloss over as he remembered the battle. “We had them, but his crew came to rescue him. I was knocked into the sea and… the pirate, he saved me.” James took another sip of whiskey. “My father was ashamed of that. He yelled that he would preferred to see me die of drowning than be rescued by a pirate.”

“James….”

“He told me it was my duty to carry the banner of civility and order and eradicate the slime from the seven seas. And now here I am, having dinner with you - a pirate.” He didn’t say it was disdain.

“Who was it? The pirate that saved you?”

“Edward Teague.” He said simply.

“Jack Sparrow’s father.” Alice voiced.

“It is mighty funny how the world turns, is it not?” James asked.

“I’m glad he saved you.” Alice added.

“Isn’t it against a pirates very nature to want a Royal Navy Commodore to be saved?” His tone was now playful.

“Well, you already told me you don’t want me to die, so I’m just echoing a similar sentiment.”

“How did you get your nicknames?” He asked.

“Do you always have to wear that wig?” She countered. To her surprise he let out a small laugh and immediately pulled the white wig from his head. His brown hair was tied at the nape of his neck.

“That suits you.” She remarked and he leaned forward, grabbing her hand and holding it tenderly.

“I promise you, Alice Buckley, at the end of all of this I will not let them harm you.”

“You shouldn’t make that promise, James.” She said softly. “Aligning yourself with a pirate could make some people call you a pirate.” A small smile crosses his features as he brought her hand to his lips and placed a kiss on the top.

A small knock at the door made James stand and replace his wig and hat.

“Rest well, Alice.”

“You too, James.” He gave her a small bow before leaving and Alice leaned back in her chair, trying to stop the tears from coming.

[nothingtoseeherebyeexx]

Delicate, Chapter Three: Cinnamon Girl

here we go again! same disclaimers as last time. important talks and a long awaited reunion <3

< prev chapter next chapter >

Narcissa was conflicted, her smile tight as she took in the news.

She and Mary had been invited to a party by Lily Evans.

Lily Evans, who was extremely close to Alice Fortescue.

Alice Fortescue, that who surely going to be present at aforementioned party.

Did Alice know she had been invited? How did she feel about it? Was she the reason Lily had asked for Narcissa, specifically, as Mary’s plus one?

And then, how would Alice react when they saw each other again? How was she? Did she think about her, from time to time?

“You don’t look as excited as I expected. What’s wrong?” Mary interrupted Narcissa’s spiralling, bringing her back to reality. A party at the Potter’s meant a lot of celebrities and therefore the possibility to make oneself known: it was a chance too good for Mary to miss. However, Narcissa was bound to behave in some stupid, pathetic way and she needed Mary to stop her in case she started demolishing her public image by, let’s say, bursting out crying in front of her late teenage love.

“Sit down, I’m going to tell you a story. But you’ll have to promise me you won’t ask any questions until I’m finished, okay?” Narcissa said as she took Bunny from her tank and let her slither around her arm, because for some obscure, probably-rooted-in-her-troubled-childhood reason, it brought her some comfort.

Narcissa sat on the carpet, Mary mirroring her and not speaking a word. She looked worried, and that made something melt in Narcissa’s chest: she hadn’t felt like this since Andy (and Bella, in a way) left, when she was still a little innocent girl sharing little innocent secrets with her sisters. It happened a lot with Mary, an overcoming feeling of nostalgia that was only accentuated by the way the girl seemed to have adapted to Narcissa’s house, by learning in which drawer she kept the spoons, which switch turned on each light, which doors tended to fly open with a smack if you opened them too quickly.

God, she was getting soft.

“You know I went to a conservatory, Hogwarts, right?” Narcissa began.

Mary just nodded, without interrupting her.

“I attended that boarding school for five years, so basically my whole adolescence. I was already professionally trained when I started, obviously, and private teachers were much stricter than the ones at school, so I have always been ahead of my classmates and I found myself with a lot of free time and freedom, especially compared to my life back home. I was never quite able to shake off the feeling my parents were watching me, though, so I never had the courage to really break their rules. That was until a new girl showed up, at the beginning of my third year.” She couldn’t help the smile that naturally bloomed on her lips, her gaze fixed on Bunny.

“Her hair was a mess of curls, her smile a bit crooked, her tie always out of place. Subconsciously, I knew she was the exact opposite of what my parents approved of, so I immediately despised her. However, fate decided it would have been funny to tie our lives together, and since my roommate had coincidentally graduated, the two of us ended up sharing a room. And I’m forever glad it happened, Mary. This is the part where things start to get really personal, okay?”

“My lips are sealed.” Mary replied, raising her palms in surrender. She had gotten a little closer, moved by curiosity.

“They better be. Anyway, this girl took guitar lessons and I had piano, but we still shared singing classes together. Oh, Mary…I will never forget the first time I’ve heard her singing. I remember thinking, and it is a big compliment considering where I grew up, that I was lucky for witnessing the beginning of something so great. You see, I have been raised to become a singer, to use my voice as a means to get richer and greater, but I still felt like an amateur standing next to her. Not because her technique was better than mine, the teachers always praised me more,” Narcissa added, aware she sounded ostentatious, “but she had this energy, this unique style that wasn’t…fabricated, like mine. I stood next to her, and I realised the way I sung might have been flawless and pleasing to the ear, but it could never be anything more. It was never going to feel real.”

Narcissa paused, trying to find the right words to continue this conversation.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Mary tried to come to her rescue, but Narcissa shook her head.

“It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just…hard to voice these thoughts for the first time. I’ve never told this to anyone,” Narcissa replied, a bit bashful. “At the time of the story, my relationship with my sisters was already a mess, and we didn’t talk much. But you already know that, the media made sure of it.” She added, bitterly.

She had grown used to it, seeing as she had been under flashing cameras since the day she was born. Mary pressed her lips together, looking regretful, like she could’ve just ignored the news spread by paparazzi.

“Because I was a child, the moment I was confronted with this random girl that I considered so much better than me, I got incredibly jealous. I wanted to hate her, I really did. But she was always friendly, laughing at my snarky comments like they were inside jokes, and even when I pulled pranks on her she retaliated like it was a game between the two of us. I like to remember those days as the the chance I had at a normal adolescence.”

“What did you do?”

“I know you’re the one who put that red sock in my white laundry, Black. Since you like pink so much, I’ve mixed some hair dye with your shampoo. Now we match!”

“You-“

“I was mean, at times, but she always reacted in a way that inevitably made me feel like shit. For instance, her parents owned an ice cream parlor, and when I made a snobbish joke about that, she showed up the next day with a giant bowl of every ice cream flavor imaginable. We ate it all in one afternoon.”

“What were you saying about my parents selling ice cream?”

Narcissa took another spoonful and closed her eyes in delight.

“That it is truly one of the most noble and respectable occupations. Wait, what flavour is that?”

“Mmh…Blue?”

“I fell for her smile, her clumsiness, the songs she wrote. She was a poet. Still is. I wanted to be more like her, so we started spending more time together, skipping the classes we didn’t like, hiding in the yard behind the dorms. She smoked and played her guitar, while I simply watched her. I even started writing songs, which wasn’t expected of me by my parents: all my future albums had already been written, hidden in my future manager’s drawer.”

Narcissa noticed that Mary was itching to ask something, probably what happened after that, but she was stopping herself.

It was a cute effort, cute enough to be rewarded.

“We fell in love. We kept it a secret at school, but I knew she expected to make it official once we were out of there. As you know, however, I had other plans for my future,” then Narcissa added, rolling her eyes, “Well, my parents had other plans. Anyway, we had this huge row, we were both mad at each other, and I said some things that deeply hurt her and that I wish I had never spoken. There, end of the tale.”

Mary was gaping at her, disappointment evident on her face.

“Time for the questions,” Narcissa allowed.

“That can’t be the end! What happened then?” Mary protested quickly.

Narcissa smiled so, so sadly.

“She made a song inspired by the last words I’ve said to her, became worldwide famous because of it, and I’ve had to listen to my worst mistake playing on the radio for ten years. And apparently, we are going to one of her best friends’ party this weekend.”

Mary looked comically horrified. “Oh my God, Narcissa… I had no idea, I’ll just tell Evans we can’t go-“

“No, don’t,“ interrupted Narcissa, “It’s fine, really. Maybe I’m delusional, but…” she sighed, “I just want to see her again. The worst part is that we never got any closure: I just ran away, and she didn’t chase after me. Not like I was expecting her to, obviously.”

Okay, maybe that wasn’t the complete truth. During the first years after their ‘breakup’, Narcissa had wanted nothing to do with Alice, because she had showed her the promise of what could’ve been their future in another life, and it was too good and too far from her family’s expectations.

In the end, though, all that was left was an aching longing that she had put into words with songs that would’ve never seen the light of day. Or so she had thought, before she left her home on a delirious rampage.

Narcissa had hoped for a call, a text, anything really. And yet, the only way she could hear from Alice was on the radio, or through her headphones. She finally had the chance to speak to her, and she wanted to take it oh, so desperately.

“Lily told me your cousins will be there, too.” Mary interrupted the heavy silence, and Narcissa was grateful for the change of topic. Mary had crossed the carpet that divided them, close enough to hug Narcissa if she wanted to.

She decided to let her head fall to the other girl’s shoulder instead- Narcissa had never been too keen on physical contact, and yet this small display of affection was enough to comfort her. It was enough to make her realize she hadn’t been comforted in years. Fuck.

“I figured. I want to talk to them, it’s been so long. I’m so proud of them. Regulus, especially,” Narcissa let her hand travel on the carpet, while Mary listened in silence.

“He left when he was only 18. And he didn’t even go to his brother first, he preferred staying with this girl no one ever heard of.” Narcissa remembered with a smile.

She didn’t know the details of what happened between the two brothers after Regulus’ undertaking, but Sirius had always been very protective of him, even when things were complicated, so she could only imagine how enraged he must’ve been when he discovered he was bested by a woman he had never even seen.

“I think she’s called Pandora Lovegood,” Mary informed her. “She was rumored to be Regulus’ girlfriend, and people on the Internet started to make these crazy theories about the real reasons behind his escape, saying he did it for his ‘forbidden love’. They never confirmed anything, though, and he keeps bringing her as a guest during social events or parties…maybe you can ask him about it this Saturday.”

Narcissa was glad Mary couldn’t see her face, because she was really close to cackling: Regulus, the 12 year-old boy who had a full breakdown in her room because he didn’t want to kiss a girl on the cheek for a movie, with a girlfriend. Simply hilarious.

“I guess I could, yes,” she agreed, her sarcasm going unnoticed.

Her head was still on Mary’s shoulder, the silence between them stretching long but comfortable.

“Mary,” Narcissa called.

“Cissa,” Mary answered.

“Do you have any brothers or sisters?” Narcissa didn’t really know why she asked, or where she wanted the conversation to go. Mary was extremely reserved about family matters, so-

“Yes, I do. I have two brothers, both younger. One is in middle school, the other a few years younger.” Mary’s tone was fond, and even if she was out of Narcissa’s sight, it wasn’t too hard to imagine a small smile on her lips.

“You never talk about them. You’re always working, either at the café or here…don’t they miss you when you’re not home?” Narcissa questioned, feeling bold.

“Oh, well, it’s not like I see them when I get home, since I’ve been living in a hotel for a while now,” Mary explained, sounding embarrassed.

Narcissa was not expecting that.

“You what? Since when?” she asked, startled, moving away from Mary to look at her in the eyes.

“I’ve wanted to leave that house for a while, so I saved some money with my part-time job,” Mary said, ”I moved about a month after signing the contract, when I was sure I could make it by myself.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Narcissa replied, distraught, putting a hand on Mary’s shoulder. “I have asked you to come live with me!”

“No you haven’t?” Mary countered, confused and slightly alarmed by Narcissa’s fervor.

“You want me to come live with you?”

“We spend most of our time together already, I thought it was obvious?” Narcissa answered frantically.

Mary just laughed, uncontrolled and loud. Narcissa pouted.

“Fine, fine! I’ll come live with you, if you’re so desperate to have me around,” she smiled. “I’ll bring my stuff tomorrow, if I can manage. Is that okay with you?”

“Sure, whatever.” Narcissa replied, still looking like a crossed child. They sat next to each other on the floor, letting the silence settle for a while. Mary was good at reading people, Narcissa had learnt. She always seemed to know when someone needed some quiet, or preferred to ramble, and adapted accordingly. Everchanging, constantly camouflaging to survive.

“Why did you ask?” Mary asked.

Narcissa sighed, because one, she was expecting that question, and two, she didn’t know, either.

“Sometimes I hate them. Sirius and Regulus, I mean,” Narcissa explained. “Sure, they fight, seem to hate each other, and their relationship isn’t perfect, but at least it’s there. For my sisters, we’re dead to each other.”

“Have you tried calling them?” Mary suggested, and it should’ve been a silly thing to ask, because of course Narcissa should have tried to call them, it was the most logical thing to do. But she hadn’t. Andromeda left when Narcissa was still controlled by their parents and didn’t try to contact her, not even after her escape. Bellatrix was still proudly part of the family, so Narcissa hadn’t even bothered trying.

“No,” Narcissa replied, defeated. “It’s useless, they went on with their lives. I keep up with the articles about Bellatrix, so I kind of know what’s going on, but Andromeda has completely disappeared. I wonder how she did that.”

And why she didn’t bring me with her.

“…Do you resent her?” Mary whispered, quietly. Narcissa turned to look at her.

“For leaving?”

“Mhm.”

“Well, if I did resent her now it would be hypocritical, since I also ran away. But I used to, yes. Why? Are you worried your siblings might grow to hate you?“

Mary leant back, eyes travelling to the ceiling. Narcissa thought she looked so serious at times, with her gaze lost in thought and her lips clamped shut. Preoccupation made her look older.

“I’m not worried. When the time came, I told my parents it was time for me to enter the real world, that I had found an apartment out of town I could afford and that I was going to call them weekly,” Mary smiled bitterly, her eyes bright with tears Narcissa wasn’t going to address. “They didn’t bat an eye. One less mouth to feed, I guess. My youngest sibling, Theo, told me with tears in his eyes that he was going to miss me, while the oldest, Bingley, felt betrayed. He didn’t say it, but I could see it in his face.” Mary sighed, looking at Narcissa’s neck, where Bunny had slowly found her designated place.

“I know they will understand, if not now when they’re older, then. And if they do not understand, I’ll explain why I left myself.”

“…Why did you do it, though?” Narcissa asked, cautious.

“I did it because I deserve to be happy. Back there I wasn’t in pain, but I was miserable. And I couldn’t pretend like it didn’t affect me, so I packed my stuff and left for a place that allowed me to grow. And here I am,” Mary smiled at her, nudging her arm, making Bunny hiss in agreement.

Narcissa was having severe flashbacks of a conversation she never had, a scene in a parallel universe where her family was slightly less dysfunctional and talking felt a lot more natural. She refused to tear up.

“Why didn’t you ask your brothers to come with you?” She asked, or rather, sobbed. Fuck.

“Because it was risky,” Mary answered, seeming to understand that this conversation had more layers than just simple curiosity. “Although it wasn’t the best, my house offered stability, and I can’t support two more people on my own. When the time comes, they’ll be free to leave and come to me, but I’m not a mother, Cissa, and I don’t have to play the role for them.”

Shit, she was about to cry. Shit, shit, shit.

Did Andy feel like that? Did she also consider taking her sisters with her, when she had left that night?

When Narcissa ran away, three different types of illegal substances numbed most of her feelings, so she couldn’t really draw a comparison between their experiences.

“They won’t understand, Mary. You can’t expect them to.” She replied, managing to make her voice sound a lot firmer than it actually was.

“And that’s fine. I’ll explain when the time comes,” Mary replied, sounding so sure, so calm, so mature for a twenty two year-old.

Then she added, smirking, “Maybe I’ll start by calling them.”

Narcissa shoved her.

~

Lily had informed Alice that she and Mary would soon start working together, but since MacDonald was already quite busy with the release of her debut album, they weren’t going to start writing together for a few more weeks.

Alice was grateful for the delay: Lily was determined to work with Mary, and the girl seemed really close to Narcissa Black.

So, simply put, Alice’s (already trembling) emotional stability was really close to falling apart.

No one knew of their relationship back when they were at Hogwarts, and no one knew that relationship was actually something more than friendship. A something that apparently still meant everything to Alice, and nothing to Narcissa, since after ten years, the first was still unable to move on, and the second had completely erased the other from her life.

But Alice remembered. Oh, she remembered so well.

All her songs revolved around Narcissa in one way or the other: the memory of her, the feelings Alice had for her. Everything, for everyone to hear. She would be lying if she didn’t admit that a small part of her, the weakest, hoped Narcissa heard them, too.

Alice’s creative process wasn’t a journey through emotions or stories she wanted to explore or create, it was an eternal war that always took place on the same battlefield.

The school, the dorm, her lips.

The whispers, the fights, her kisses.

Was it possible for a poet to worship, despise, cherish and reject their own muse all at the same time?

Oh, how a juvenile mistake can change someone’s life. Because that’s was what it was to Alice, a mistake. It should’ve never happened, even if it felt too good to be true, even if it’s what led her to fame.

Even if it felt like love.

Luckily, the possibility of meeting Narcissa were low, even considering Lily’s new project. She was going to work with Mary, not Narcissa, so she was still safe, for now.

Speaking of this Mary, Alice was was looking forward to meeting her: Lily had been talking about her for days, about how fun she was, how talented she was, how she seemed to completely ignore all the rumours about her. So when Lily told her Mary was going to be present on Saturday, Alice was extremely excited.

The party at the Potter’s had already started, and even though the ‘small gathering’ already counted more than seventy people, Peter was still nowhere to be seen: James, Sirius and Marlene had gone to pick him up, so they were going to come back soon. Even Regulus, who was bringing Pandora, still hadn’t shown up, but Dorcas Meadowes was already deep in a conversation with Euphemia Potter and Mrs Zabini, probably discussing Zabini’s next spring collection. Lily was somewhere with Frank and Benji, probably ignoring the champagne glasses in the living room in favour of the vodka shots available in the kitchen.

Since Alice refused to get drunk so soon, she was left chatting with people she didn’t know too well about things she didn’t really care about, but honestly, she was enjoying it. She was just talking to Molly Weasley (neé Prewett) about the challenges and difficulties of growing pumpkins (Molly worked with her brothers in the film industry so what would she know about growing pumpkins, Alice had no clue) when the doorbell rang. She heard Lily stumbling in her heels from the kitchen calling “It’s her! It’s her!”, but since Alice was closer, she went to get it.

She opened the door, and Narcissa Black was on the other side.

She opened the door, and Narcissa Black was on the other side.

And she was beautiful. She looked more mature now, healthier, but her attitude was as confident as ever.

Posture impeccable just like that day they met, when Alice had walked into her future dorm room and had found this blonde girl made of steel and ice staring down at her like she was a stray dog.

Her eyes were bright like every time Alice pulled out a cigarette in front of her, wordlessly convincing her to skip classes and lay on the grass together.

Narcissa looked like beauty and regret.

As time stretched indefinitely, Lily caught up to Alice and leant on the door frame, looking at the girl standing next to Narcissa. Because Mary was there, too.

“Mary, hi! You look gorgeous!” Lily greeted the girl, who thanked her and smiled brightly.

Alice tried to say something to Mary, but she couldn’t get her eyes off Narcissa. Of course she couldn’t, she never managed to.

Then Narcissa did something mad, horrid, monstrous.

She offered Alice her hand and spoke.

“Alice. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

Lily was now looking at Alice with faux surprise.

“You know each other?” she asked, innocently. Alice glared at her, because she knew Lily knew, and she knew Lily did it on purpose. Alice also instantly knew Marlene was part of this, too.

People these days, can’t even let you handle your problems unhealthily.

Then Narcissa spoke again, and of course Alice gave her her full attention, because she still reacted to her voice like a dog to whistle. Ten years later, still as pathetic as before.

“…You haven’t told them?”

Oh, she was offended. Now that made Alice’s blood boil.

“Ironic, that.” Narcissa added bitterly, letting her hand fall, untouched.

Alice felt her gaze harden, but kept her mouth shut. Instead, she did what she had learnt to do well in the past years when confronted with Narcissa Black: Alice turned on her heels, and walked away. She vaguely heard Lily taking her two guests to the living room to introduce them to Effie, before disappearing in the kitchen.

Turns out, it was just the right time to get drunk.

[buckyssoldat]

Chapter 56: Truth

Warnings: mature themes, alcohol consumption, strong language, anger, smut and sexual references, mentions of loss and grief, mental health struggles

A/N: This is part of my series, Forsaken - The Fallen Soldier. If you wanna be tagged in this, just send me an ask or a message. Feedback is always appreciated, don’t be shy to share your thoughts on this :)

'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't

You can't make your heart feel something it won't

Here in the dark, in these final hours

I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power

But you won't, no you won't

'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't

Steve and Alice nestled into the plush cushions of her couch, a fluffy blanket draped over their laps. She insisted on going to her apartment for a few nights because she missed it, and Steve felt obliged to join her. The TV screen illuminated the room, filling it with the flickering light of the movie they had chosen for the night. The scent of freshly popped popcorn lingered in the air, adding to the cozy ambiance.

As the opening credits rolled, Alice couldn’t contain her excitement. “I’ve been wanting to watch this movie for ages!” she exclaimed, her eyes alight with anticipation.

Steve grinned, his glaze flickering between the TV and Alice’s happy expression. “I’m glad we can finally watch it together.

They settled in, their shoulders brushing against each other as they shared the bowl of popcorn between them. As the movie unfolded, they found themselves completely engrossed in the storyline, laughing at the comedic moments.

At one point, Alice erupted into a fit of giggles, her laughter infectious. Steve couldn’t help but be drawn in, his own laughter mingling with hers as they shared a moment of pure joy.

“Oh my gosh, I’m loving this movie!” Alice exclaimed, wiping away tears of laughter from her eyes.

Steve nodded, a fond smile playing on his lips. “Me too.”

As the movie progressed, Steve stole glances at Alice when she least expected it, admiring the way her eyes sparkled with laughter and her smile lit up the room. He couldn’t help but feel a warmth spread through his chest at the sight of her happiness.

Lost in the moment, Steve reached out and gently brushed his fingers against Alice’s hand, her touch sending a jolt of electricity through his body.

As the movie came to an end, Alice turned to Steve with a playful grin. “What do you say we watch another one?”

Steve cleared his throat, gathering up courage for what he was about to ask. “Actually, Alice, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

Alice looked at him, sensing the seriousness in his tone. “What is it, Steve?”

Steve took a deep breath, his blue eyes locking onto hers. “What are we, Alice? Are we… dating?”

Alice’s heart skipped a beat, her stomach knotting with anxiety. She hadn’t anticipated this conversation, though, knowing Steve like she did, she knew it was inevitable. “Steve, I…”

Steve reached for her hand, his touch gentle but firm. “I care about you a lot, Alice. I need to know where we stand. Are we together?"

Alice pulled her hand away, wrapping her arms around herself protectively. “Steve, I don’t know if I can give you the answer you want.”

Steve’s brow furrowed, his concern deepening. “Why not? We’ve been spending so much time together. I thought we had something special.”

Alice’s eyes filled with tears, and she looked away, unable to meet his gaze. “We do, Steve. But…”

Steve’s heart ached at the sight of her tears. “What is it, Alice? You can tell me anything, you know that.”

Alice took a deep breath, her voice trembling. “It’s just… Bucky… I thought I could move on, but every time I try to open my heart to you, I feel like I’m betraying him.”

Steve’s expression softened, but there was a flash of pain in his eyes. “Alice, Bucky’s gone. We tried to get everyone back, and it didn’t work. I know he would want you to be happy.”

Alice shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I know he’s gone, but that doesn’t change how I feel. I can’t just switch off my feeling for him, and it’s not fair to you to pretend I am.”

Steve’s voice rose, frustration lacing his words. “Alice, no one is asking you to forget Bucky. I didn’t forget Peggy either. I know what he meant to you. But I also know that we have a connection, something real. Don’t you feel it too?”

Alice’s shoulders shook with silent sobs. “I feel it, Steve. And that’s what scares me. I’m afraid of letting you in, of committing to you when my heart still belongs to him.”

Steve’s anger bubbled over, his tone sharp. “We’re supposed to be a team, Alice. You’re not losing control, you’re sharing your life with someone who loves you!”

Alice stood up, her own frustration flaring. “Steve, you don’t understand! You’ve never been in love with someone you lost and had to move on from.”

Steve’s face hardened, his voice rising to match hers. “Oh, I don’t understand? I lost Peggy, Alice. I know exactly what it feels like to love someone who’s gone.”

Alice’s tears turned to anger, her voice shaking. “And yet you waited for her! Even though she was gone, you waited. Why can’t you give me the same time and understanding?”

Steve’s eyes blazed with hurt and frustration. “Because I can’t wait forever, Alice! We’ve been together for almost two years. I need to know if we have a future or if I’m just a stand-in for someone you can’t let go of.”

Alice’s voice was a mix of anger and desperation. “So, you can wait for Peggy for decades, but you can’t give me more time to sort out my feelings? And don’t act like if there were a chance for you to be with Peggy, you wouldn’t run immediately to her arms!”

Steve’s jaw clenched as her words hit him like a punch to the gut. He felt the weight of her accusation, knowing deep down that there was a grain of truth to it. But he couldn’t deny the hurt that burned within him.

“That’s not fair, Alice,” he finally managed to say, his voice strained with emotion. “You know it’s not like that.”

Alice shook her head, her own pain evident in her eyes. “But it is like that, Steve. You’re asking me to choose between you and Bucky, but what about you and Peggy? You never had to make that choice because she was gone. But I’m here, Steve. I’m right here, and you’re asking me to compete with a ghost.”

Steve turned way from Alice, his jaw clenched tight with unresolved emotion. He reached for the front door, his hand trembling slightly as he prepared to leave.

Alice stood frozen in the living room, her heart aching with the weight of their fight. She wanted to call out to him, to stop him from walking away, but her pride held her tongue.

As Steve’s hand wrapped around the doorknob, Alice’s voice cut through the tense silence, raw with emotion. “Oh, you’re leaving? I thought I was the one who ran away from her problems. You’re such a hypocrite, Steve.”

Steve paused, his back stiffening at her words. He turned to face her, his expression a mixture of hurt and frustration. “I’m not the one running away, Alice. You are.”

Alice’s eyes flashed with anger, her fists clenched at her sides. “I’m not running away, Steve. I’m standing here, facing the truth. Something you seem incapable of doing.”

Steve’s nostrils flared as he fought to control his rising temper. “I’m facing the truth, Alice. The truth is, you’re not ready to move on. And I can’t keep waiting for you to figure it out.”

Alice’s voice wavered as tears welled up in her eyes. “And what about you, Steve? Are you ready to move on? Or are you still clinging to the past, just like me?”

His silence spoke volumes as he struggled to find the right words. He knew Alice was right, knew that he was still holding onto the memory of Peggy just as tightly as she was holding onto Bucky. But pride kept him from admitting it, kept him from acknowledging the truth starting him in the face. In the end, it was easier to leave.

With one final glance at Alice, Steve opened the door and stepped out into the hallway, leaving behind the shattered fragments of what could have been. And as the door clicked shut behind him, Alice sank to her knees, her tears flowing freely as she regretted everything she had said.

Alone in her apartment, Alice felt the weight of her words settle heavily upon her shoulders. She had pushed Steve away, driven by her own pain and fear, and now she was left with nothing but the echoes of their argument ringing in her ears.

With a heavy sigh, Alice dragged herself off the floor and stumbled over to the kitchen. She needed something to numb the ache in her chest, to dull the sharp edges of her emotions. She found solace in the bottom of a bottle, pouring herself a generous glass of vodka, and drowning it in one gulp.

The burning sensation spread through her body, chasing away the despair that threatened to consume her. She poured herself another drink, then another, until the edges of her vision blurred, and her thoughts became muddled.

Lost in the haze of alcohol, Alice stumbled back to the living room, collapsing onto the couch in a drunken daze. The TV flickered in the background, the sound of the other movie she had been so excited to watch now nothing more than background noise.

But even as she tried to lose herself in the numbing embrace of alcohol, the memory of Steve’s hurt expression haunted her. She had hurt him, pushed him away when all he had wanted was to be there for her. And now she was left with the bitter taste of regret, swirling in the pit of her stomach.

As the hours ticked by, Alice drifted in and out of consciousness, her dreams haunted by memories of happier times. But with each passing moment, the harsh light of reality pierced through the haze, reminding her of the mess they had made.

Eventually, exhaustion claimed her, and Alice succumbed to sleep, the empty vodka bottle still clutched in her hand. But even in her dreams, she couldn't escape the pain of knowing she had driven away the one person who had truly cared for her.

The following morning, Alice awoke with the sunlight streaming through the windows, stabbing at her eyes like a thousand needles. Groaning, she rolled over and buried her face in the cushions, trying to block out the pounding headache that throbbed behind her temples.

As she lay there, the events of the previous night came flooding back to her in a rush of fragmented memories. The argument with Steve, the tears, the vodka-fuelled haze that had clouded her judgment. She winced at the thought of how she had behaved, how she had let her pain drive her to push away the one person who had stood by her side through it all.

Dragging herself out of the couch, Alice stumbled into the kitchen, her head still pounding with the remnants of her hangover. She poured herself a glass of water and downed it in one gulp, hoping to ease the dryness in her throat.

But even as she tried to shake off the fog of her hangover, Alice couldn’t shake the feeling of emptiness that hurt her from the inside out. She had driven away the one person who had made her feel alive, and now she was left to face the consequences alone.

With a heavy sigh, Alice sank onto a stool at the kitchen counter, her thoughts swirling with regret.

“Maybe I should call him,” she thought out loud. But was she reached for her phone to dial his number, her hand hesitated. What if it was too late? What if she had already pushed him away for good? “Maybe I’ll wait a few more hours,” she said.

Alice knew she needed time to clear her head before making any decisions. She shuffled to the bathroom, splashing cold water on her face, trying to wash away the remnants of last night. Her reflection in the mirror looked as exhausted as she felt, and she sighed deeply.

As she stared at herself in the mirror, Alice realized that the fight with Steve had been a wake-up call. She couldn’t continue living in the shadow of her past. She needed to find herself, to understand who she was without Bucky and without the constant crutch of alcohol. It was time to take control of her life.

Alice grabbed a piece of paper and a pen from the kitchen counter and began to write down a plan. It wasn’t going to be easy, but she needed to change, to grow. She decided to take some time off work, to travel and explore the world. She needed to put distance between herself and the life she had built around her pain. It was the only way she could truly heal and move forward.

She listed the places she wanted to visit, the experiences she wanted to have. From the bustling streets of Paris to the calm beaches of Bali, she wanted to immerse herself in different cultures, to see the world through a new lens. The excitement of planning her journey brought a flicker of hope to her heart.

Alice also knew she had to make amends with Steve. She couldn’t leave without trying to explain, without giving him some sense of closure. She picked up her phone, took a deep breath, and called him.

The phone rang a few times before Steve’s familiar voice answered, “Hello?”

“Steve, it’s me,” she said, her voice trembling slightly.

There was a pause on the other end of the line, then Steve spoke, his tone guarded. “Alice… What do you want?”

“I wanted to talk,” she said, her voice sincere. “Can I go to your apartment?”

Steve sighed, and she could hear the weariness in his voice. “Yeah, sure, come over.”

Alice’s heart pounded in her chest as she made her way to Steve’s apartment. Her mind raced with thoughts of what she would say, how she would explain her actions and the pain she had caused. She knew it wouldn’t be easy, but she was determined to make things right.

When she arrived, she took a moment to compose herself before knocking on the door. Steve opened it almost immediately, his expression unreadable. He stepped aside to let her in, and she entered the familiar space, feeling a wave of nostalgia wash over her.

After their argument, the tension between Alice and Steve simmered, hanging heavy in the air. The heated exchange had left both emotionally raw, but also with an undeniable magnetic pull towards each other. The anger, the frustration, and unresolved feelings created a potent mix that neither could resist.

Without a word, Steve closed the distance between them, his eyes locking onto Alice’s. The intensity in his gaze mirrored hers, and before either of them could think it through, they were in each other’s arms, their mouths crashing together in a desperate, fiery kiss. It was a clash of emotions, a physical manifestation of their anger, pain, and longing.

Their movements were frenzied, hands tearing at clothes, breaths coming in short, ragged gasps. They stumbled towards his bedroom, shedding clothing along the way, leaving a trail that marked their path. Once they reached the bed, they fell onto it in a tangle of limps, the mattress creaking under their combined weight.

Steve’s touch was both tender and rough, a contradiction that sent shivers down Alice’s spine. She responded with her nails digging into his back as she pulled him closer, wanting to feel every inch of him against her. The passion between them was electric, a storm that neither could control nor wanted to.

He slowly moved down her body until he reached her blue panties, throwing them against the corner of his bedroom. Steve stopped for a few seconds, admiring the beautiful wet view that was in front of him. He then slowly ran up his index finger against her dripping sex, earning a moan from her. This only made him more eager to taste her.

Gently, Steve took a long lick, making Alice cry in pleasure. As he swirled his tongue around her, she became a mess, moaning and gripping the sheets.

“Steve…” she cried while her hands went to his hair, pushing him deeper into her.

Feeling bold, he slowly inserted two fingers inside her, sending Alice into pure ecstasy. As she approached her high, Steve moved his fingers quicker while still working her with his tongue. A few seconds after, she let out a piercing scream, releasing her juices into his mouth.

After he cleaned her up with lips, he made his way up her body, kissing every inch he could until he reached her mouth.

While kissing each other, Alice reached out for his member, slowly pumping it, but Steve stopped her after a few seconds. He needed to feel her, he needed to be inside her. It was as if an invisible force was pulling him to her, and he wasn’t strong enough to fight it.

When he finally entered her, both let out a moan of pleasure, which kept repeating as he moved in and out of her. As they moved together, their anger morphed into something else entirely – an intense connection that transcended everything on earth. For a few moments, they were lost in each other, the world outside ceasing to exist. It was just them, their bodies speaking the truths they couldn’t articulate, their desires consuming them.

“Please, go faster…” Alice pleaded between short breaths as she dragged her nails on his back.

Steve did as she asked and moved with such quickness that Alice thought they were going to break the bed. They both reached their highs within seconds of each other.

Afterward, they lay tangled in the sheets, their breaths still heavy, bodies glistening with sweat. The silence that followed was filled with a different kind of tension, a quiet understanding that what had just happened didn’t solve anything but was a necessary release.

Alice turned to face Steve, her fingers tracing the contours of his chest. She could see the conflict in his eyes, the same turmoil she felt. Taking a deep breath, she finally spoke, her voice soft but steady. “Steve, I need to tell you something.”

Steve looked at her, his expression wary but attentive. “What is it, Alice?”

She sat up, pulling the sheet around her, trying to find the right words. “I’ve been thinking a lot about us, about everything that’s happened. And I’ve realized that I need time to figure out who I am without Bucky, without anyone. I need to discover who I am on my own.”

Steve’s face tense, and he propped himself up on his elbow, his gaze searching hers. “What are you saying, Alice?”

“I’m saying I need to go away for a while,” she said, her voice trembling slightly. “I need to travel, to see the world, to find myself. I can’t keep living in the past or dragging you through my unresolved feelings. It’s not fair for either of us.”

He sat up fully now, his expression a mix of hurt and understanding. “So, you’re leaving?”

She nodded, tears welling up in her eyes. “Just for a few months, and I promise I’ll keep in contact. I need this, Steve. I need to come back whole, or I won’t be any good to you or to myself.”

Steve reached out, cupping her face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away the tears that had started to fall. “I get it, Alice. I do. But it doesn’t make it any easier.”

“I know,” she whispered, leaning into his touch. “But I promise, I’ll come back, and I’ll keep in touch. And when I do come back, maybe we can figure out what we really mean to each other.”

He pulled her into a tight embrace, burying his face in her hair. “Just… be safe, okay? And come back to me.”

“I will,” she promised, holding onto him as she could imprint the memory of this moment onto her soul. “I’ll come back. And we’ll see where we stand.”

They stayed like that for a long time, wrapped in each other’s arms. This made Alice remember the time where she was captured by Shield from Hydra. While she was still trying to keep Forsaken out of her mind, Steve was the one who never gave up on her and was always there for her, even when she lost control. All of these memories made Alice realize something – Steve was her best friend, not her lover. But that was something she was going to think about on her trip.

The next day, Alice packed her bags, her mind buzzing with anticipation and apprehension. She had made a list of all the places she wanted to visit, all the experiences she wanted to have, and she couldn’t wait to embark on this journey of self-discovery.

Before leaving, Alice had to make two stops – one at the compound, to say goodbye to Natasha, and one at Steve’s apartment.

As she approached the compound, Alice felt a mix of emotions swirling within her – excitement for the adventure ahead, and sadness for leaving Natasha behind.

Walking through the halls of the compound, Alice finally found Natasha at her office. She hesitated for a moment before knocking on the door, unsure of what to expect.

“Come in,” Natasha’s voice called out from inside.

Alice entered, finding Natasha sitting at her desk, surrounded by a flurry of papers and reports. Despite the chaos of her work, Natasha looked up and smiled warmly at Alice.

“Hey, Alice,” Natasha said, setting aside her work. “What brings you here.”

Alice took a deep breath, trying to gather her thoughts. “I’m leaving, Nat,” she said finally. “I’m going on a journey, to find myself, to discover who I am outside of all this.”

Natasha nodded, her expression understanding. “I get it, Alice. Sometimes we need to take a step back, to find clarity in the chaos of our minds.”

Alice smiled gratefully, feeling a weight lift off her shoulders. “Thank you, Nat. You could join me if you want to. It would be amazing to travel the world with you.”

Natasha stood up from her chair. “I would love to, but someone has to keep things going here at the compound.”

Alice stopped for a few seconds to think before she answered, “It doesn’t have to be you to carry that burden, Natasha.”

When Natasha didn’t respond, Alice already knew the answer – she needed the compound, she needed to keep busy, otherwise she would collapse. Alice knew the feeling too well, so she didn’t question it.

“I get it, Nat, don’t worry,” she smiled at her friend, trying to comfort her. “You’re always welcome to visit me.”

Natasha crossed the room, enveloping Alice in a tight hug. “You’ll always have a home here, Alcie. No matter where your journey takes you, you’ll always be a part of this family. You’ll always be me sister.”

Tears welled up in Alice’s eyes as she hugged Natasha back, holding onto the moment for as long as she could. “I’ll miss you, Nat,” she whispered.

“I’ll miss you too, Alice,” Natasha said, pulling back to look into Alice’s eyes. “But I know this is important for you. Go out there and find yourself. And remember, I’ll always be here if you need me.”

With a final smile, Alice stepped back, her heart filled with gratitude for the friendship she shared with Natasha. As she turned to leave, she knew that no matter where her journey took her, she would always carry Natasha’s strength with her.

And as she walked away from the compound, towards her bike to make her way to Steve’s apartment, Alice felt a sense of peace settle over her. She was ready for whatever the future held, knowing that she had the love and support of her friends.

She approached Steve’s apartment, her steps slow and deliberate, each one feeling like it carried the weight of the world. When she reached his door, she paused, her hand hovering over the wood. Taking a deep breath, she knocked.

Steve opened the door almost immediately, his expression a mix of anticipation and dread. He stepped aside to let her in, the silence between them thick with unspoken words.

They stood in the middle of his living room, the same place where they had shared countless moments of laughter and love. Alice could feel the memories pressing down on her, each one a reminder of what she was leaving behind.

“Alice,” Steve began, his voice breaking the silence. “Are you sure about this?”

Alice nodded, tears already welling up in her eyes. “I need to do this, Steve. I need to find myself, to figure out who I am without… everything.”

Steve’s jaw tightened, his blue eyes searching hers for any sign of hesitation. “I understand,” he said, his voice soft but strained. “But it’s hard.”

Alice reached out, taking his hand in hers. “I know. Believe me, if there was any other way, I’d take it. But I can’t keep living like this, stuck in the past, dragging you through my pain.”

Steve’s grip tightened around her hand, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I love you, Alice. And I don’t know how to let you go.”

As a sob escaped Alice’s lips, and she stepped closer, wrapping her arms around him. “I love you too, Steve. But I need to do this for me. I need to come back whole, or I won’t be any good to you or anyone.”

They clung to each other, the reality of their separation sinking in. The silence was marked by their shared breaths, their hearts beating in painful unison.

Steve pulled back slightly, cupping her face in his hands. “Promise me you’ll come back,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “Promise me this isn’t goodbye forever.”

Alice nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I promise, Steve. I’ll come back. And when I do, we’ll figure out what we really mean to each other.”

Steve leaned in, capturing her lips in a kiss that was both desperate and tender. It was a kiss that held all their love, their hope, and their sorrow. When they finally pulled apart, they rested their foreheads together, savouring their last moments.

“I’ll wait for you,” Steve said, his voice barely more than a whisper. “No matter how long it takes, I’ll wait.”

Alice’s heart ached at his words, knowing the pain she was causing him. “I’ll come back as soon as I can,” she promised, her voice trembling. “I love you, Steve. Always.”

“I love you too,” he replied, his voice thick with emotion. “Always.”

With one final embrace, Alice stepped back, her hand lingering in his until the last possible moment. She turned and walked out the door, each step feeling like a piece of her heart was being torn away.

As she made her way to the elevator, she couldn’t hold back the sobs that wracked her body. The door closed behind her, and she leaned against the wall, feeling the weight of her decision pressing down on her.

Back in his apartment, Steve stood frozen, staring at the door Alice had just walked through. His chest felt hollow, the pain of her absence cutting deep. He sank to the couch, burying his face in his hands as the tears he had been holding back finally fell.

tags: ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​@capswife

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[ecargmura]

Metallic Rouge Episode 13 Review + Final Thoughts - Their Free World

Well, that was disappointing. What do you mean the anime ends like that? I finally managed to understand what the heck is going on now and it ends. It kind of sucks when one of the animes you were anticipating to watch soon becomes a train wreck.

To no one’s surprise, Roy Yunghart was the Puppetmaster, but the twist goes even deeper as the Roy in front of them isn’t the real one; the real one died and the one in front of them is a Nean copy. It turns out that he likes to body jump and Cyan is his third body essentially as he jumps to her body once Sylvia stabs him. The fact that he was the one who ordained everything feels like bullcrap. I know it fits with the freedom and will themes but at this point, I don’t care anymore.

The final battle between possessed Cyan and Rouge was pretty cool, though. Naomi deciding to sacrifice her vessel and permanently be fused into Rouge’s body was something I didn’t expect. The fusion form between them was cool; it sort of looks like a Digimon with the pupils and wings. Maybe it’s just me, but it reminds me of a robotic/mecha Digimon.

The surprise twist that Opera was a Usurper and is still out and about feels like a cop out. I feel like this anime was intentionally made to be two cours, but given that it’s an original anime project and those normally don’t get two cours means that everything has to be bunched up and thrown in as much as possible. The fact that the ending of Metallic Rouge ends with Rouge facing off against Opera shows this.

I’m glad the Neans became free, but the ending doesn’t show what happens to them or what happens to the other characters. What happened with Jean? Ash? Noir? Aes/Alice? Is Giallon even alive? What happened with everyone else? 

Final Thoughts

Metallic Rouge’s concept and premise was cool. Watching the trailer legit got me inserting this show into my already long watch list for Winter 2024 but as weeks went by, it started dropping in terms of story quality. I feel like Bones had high ambitions for this project, but couldn’t really execute them properly due to time constraints. It’s unfortunate that an anniversary project ends up becoming mediocre since I do like BONES’s works—The Case Study of Vanitas is my favorite anime and they animated that beautifully—but this one was a miss.

I enjoyed the first five episodes but then after episode 6, the episode quality starts dropping. So many unexpected and unnecessary reveals; so many characters were introduced; a sudden liberation plot came into play. It’s really hard to keep up with the story when too many elements spoil the soup.

It also makes it hard to enjoy some of the characters. I did enjoy the characters, but it’s kind of hard to get attached to anyone not named Rouge or Naomi; though, I did like Ash and Noid—I kind of wished they were built up a bit more. For example, Grauphon was an Immortal 9 member but I knew nothing about him to care. The best character and the most underutilized was the drifter granny from Episode 2. She needed to be in the show more.

Though, the writing choices did make it hard to enjoy some characters. Like, why did Naomi have to betray Rouge and then reveal that she’s a Nean created by the Visitors. Like, why is everyone not named Ash a Nean? Jean is half-Nean and we’re not even sure how Neans can reproduce if they’re mass-produced like smart phones.

I did enjoy the animation and music. The dramatic music reminded me of sci-fantasy RPGs like Xenoblade and I feel like some songs here could fit in Xenoblade or Star Ocean given the similar settings. The animation was fluid, especially with the mecha fights. The fights were what made the show shine. I really liked the opening song, though. It felt like listening to 90’s anime openings.

The anime got a great cast of voice actors, but not having a great story or plot sort of ruins it. I liked Tomoyo Kurosawa as Naomi and Yui Ogura and Jill/Sylvia but why did they have to be in this rather mediocre show? They all rocked in terms of performances, but this anime is one of the cases where the voice acting, animation and music are great, but everything else isn’t.

I feel like I’m ranting, which I deserve to after enduring 13 weeks of this show. I heard that there will be a manga adaptation for this show, so I hope that it expands the lore more because the anime fumbled hard with consistency. Would I recommend this show to anyone? Nope. There are better sci-fi/mecha shows out there and with better story, so don’t waste your time with this one.

[victorluvsalice]

Valicer Polyship Week, Day Four: Soulmates (Soulmate AU)

Day Four of Valicer Polyship Week, courtesy of @polyshipweek, and we’re up to the “Soulmates” prompt -- which, of course, inspired me to bust out my Soulmate AU idea! The idea behind this world is that it’s one where you can have a) platonic as well as romantic soulmates and b) multiple soulmates, and Victor, Alice, and Smiler are all each other’s soulmates. Victor and Smiler met first, fell in love, discovered they had a THIRD soulmate when they realized neither of them tried to slit their wrists before they met (extreme emotions and injuries can be transferred between soulmates even before meeting -- meaning Alice’s attempt to gouge herself with the spoon in Rutledge got them too), and ended up running away to London together when Victor’s parents tried to force him into an arranged marriage he didn’t want and Smiler’s father tried to send them away to rural Lithuania to keep them away from Victor. We pick up here with Victor at the Whitechapel Market, about to meet his other soulmate in a very Victorish way. . .

---

All right – just a few things to pick up, and then I can finally go home and tell Smiler all about how boring my day was. Let’s see. . .carrots. . .potatoes. . .do I want some apples? Do I want these apples specifically. . .hmm. Maybe I’ll wait and come back on a, um, fresher day. . .but oh, I should definitely get some – “Oh!”

Victor jolted as he turned toward the butcher, only to collide with someone coming the other way. He stumbled backward a handful of steps as his unfortunate victim – a young, dark-haired lady in black-and-white, almost but not quite as colorless as all the people he’d left behind in Burtonsville – hit the cobbles. “I-I-I am so s-sorry,” Victor babbled, reaching automatically for his tie before recalling his manners and instead using his free hand to offer a lift up to the woman. “I w-wasn’t looking where I-I was going, and – I’m – I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” the woman said, shaking her head slightly. “I wasn’t really looking where I was going either, if I’m honest.” She reached back for him, accepting the hand up. “I’m glad you at least have the manners to apologize–”

Said Alice.

Victor gasped softly as, just for a moment, the world was suffused in a golden glow. Oh my God – it’s her! It’s her, she’s the one, she’s – she’s Alice Pleasance Liddell, born May 4th, 1855 – the same age as Smiler and me! That makes things easier. . .and she loves cats and rabbits, and her favorite food is strawberry cake, though she’ll eat any cake that’s presented to her – ha, same – but she doesn’t actually like candy all that much, and she likes to draw but she’s currently not very good – currently? – and she’s got a whole fictional realm called Wonderland that she made up when she was seven, and –

And she lost her entire family to a house fire about ten years ago, and she spent the latter half of her childhood in Rutledge Asylum. . .which would explain –

And that was when Alice, who’d been gawking at him with the prettiest green eyes he’d seen since meeting Smiler, yanked her hand out of his and bolted down the street.

“Wha – wait!” Victor took a step after her, arm raised, but she ignored him, instead darting down a side alley. He watched her disappear from sight, emotions all aswirl. Alice Liddell – the only survivor of the Liddell fire! That’s who we’re – who would have guessed that I would have just literally run into her in this part of London! Shouldn’t she be in Oxford? Then again, she can’t have been expecting to meet me here. . .what did she get from me, I wonder? What made her react like that? Did – did she not like what she saw? No, that can’t be it, she hasn’t rejected the bond, she’s just. . .she’s scared, that’s what it is, she’s scared to actually face me, to know I’m real. . .

A wave of puzzled concern washed over him then, as if from an invisible bucket – though, frankly, Victor was surprised it had taken Smiler this long to notice the chaos within him. He sent back a complicated mix of feelings that he hoped indicated “I’ll be home in a moment,” threw some money at the potato lady, then shot down the street, back to the two-up he shared with his beloved. Smiler met him at the door, steering him inside with a hand on his shoulder. “What happened?” they asked, no preamble, worry clear in their gaze.

“I found her,” Victor replied, dropping the bag of groceries on their little kitchen table.

“Her?”

“You know – her.” Victor pulled back his right sleeve, revealing the faint scar across his wrist. The scar mirrored on Smiler’s left – and which neither of them had cut into their skin. “Our third. Our – our other soulmate.”

--

[martianbugsbunny]

OUAT Thoughts Pt.75--Episodes 21-22

I have watched through S7E22; there are no spoilers to be had. Spoiler warning for anyone further behind than I am, though.

Kinda satisfying that I got an even 75 on that.

—I have been ugly-crying for about twenty minutes.

—Rumple dying because he gave his heart to Hook is the most poetic, beautiful culmination of their stories I ever could’ve hoped for and it’s got me wrecked. And the fact that he did it expecting to never see Belle again makes it even more lovely of him....And the fact that Hook is going to spend the rest of his life walking around with Rumple’s heart inside of him...that’s beyond words for me.

—I’m never going to love like this again. This show is the single best story I have ever consumed and I loved every minute of it, even the parts *looking at you, finale* that emotionally destroyed me. Also, Rumple is the most stunning tragic character I’ve ever met and it is impossible for anyone to ever take his place in my heart.

—That scene where Rumple was fully prepared to kill Rumplestiltskin, to keep any realm from ever having to have him in it, was a pretty poignant personification of self-hatred and it was a really weird, dark kind of beautiful.

—Look at my funky lil lesbians going off to save the world!

—Alice was looking lovely at Regina’s coronation. That blue dress was so pretty.

—I cannot stress enough how much I adore the fact that in the last two episodes of the show, I got to see Rumple and Hook adventuring together as friends.

—Rumple calling Rumplestiltskin “crocodile” was fun.

—I’m rather glad I picked up CaptainCroc as my new hobby, because I think this stuff would’ve hurt me even worse if I wasn’t trying to pick up the little bits of happiness and inspiration between them, and starting to come up with how it goes down in my AU even while it was unfolding in canon. CaptainCroc may be my comfort ship.

—It’s great that the last time we saw Emma, she was wearing her red leather jacket and a full-length dress. V cool.

—Seriously, did they have to make the last shot of the entire show the “Leaving Storybrooke” sign? That is exactly the opposite of what I want to do. I want to live in Storybrooke for the rest of my life and never have to think about being without it again. I want Storybrooke to be a constant presence in my brain and a weighted blanket for my heart and I want to imagine it happy and full of life and with all the characters I adore in it.

—Moving all the realms to one place so nobody can ever be separated again was kind of fun.

—In case you hadn’t guessed, I think I lost a couple more marbles watching those two episodes. I’m also reinforcing my belief that fanfic, headcanons, and fan-life in general is the ultimate form of escapism and comfort and I can’t imagine not turning to it at the end of something great.

—Seeing Henry dark and angry was weird. I’m glad he got out of that without actually killing Regina, because I think would’ve been the end of me. And now he gets an entire family to help him get back on the right path. (Which he appears to be doing, as he’s wearing a sheriff’s badge. Nice to see that’s still in the family.)

—It’s nice that Tiana and Naveen appear to have ended up together.

—In similar news, I also kinda like that wish realm Hook didn’t end up in a romantic relationship. It was his bond with Alice that was important, and even if the writers maybe strayed from that a bit every now and then, it was both nice to see and also, and a parent and child thing, very OUAT.

—It’s great that we got to see Robin ask for Hook’s blessing to marry Alice. I want my girl to have the happiest ending possible, and it looks like she gets it.

—I suddenly realized that the entire time Rumple was in Hyperion Heights, he didn’t seem to have a single problem with his leg, and that’s maybe a little disappointing. Hook had a false hand. Without magic, Rumple still should’ve had a limp, even if made it a bit harder to do detective action sequences.

—Hook and Alice kinda have the same cute ear shape. Iykyk, and if you don’t I’m sad for you.

—Still crying, and it’s taken me about fifteen minutes to write this much. Mostly because I’m crying.

—I like how Hook’s alcoholism is taken seriously in this last season, and in a pretty subtle way. At Flynn’s Barcade, Nick and Henry had beers while Hook had a lemon water (warding off scurvy, I’m sure). In episode 21, Regina and Rumple had a drink and Hook had what I’m assuming is water, but in a mug. (I drink cool/warm temperature beverages in mugs to annoy my kid sister, and let me tell you it’s a fun little way to mess with people. Hook should do it more often.) Also, when Hook and Rumple went to Hook’s old home in the wish realm, the booze there was specifically mentioned in connection with the fact that Hook basically went there to die a slow death. I would give a round of applause for the writers, but the writers have upset me, so I’m withholding the applause. So there.

—As sad as I am, I do love that now nobody has to choose between Storybrooke, their magical realm of origin, or Hyperion Heights *snort*

—I don’t think I’ve mentioned it yet, but Killian is such the beautiful name. I love it. I know what I’m naming one of my next two plushies.

—Yes, I hate, despise, and loathe the fact that Rumple is dead, but it really was the perfect ending to his story. And his story was the most amazing one to come out of this show, which is saying a lot. I’m glad he’s with Belle again, because my head knows that’s how he gets his happy ending, even if my heart doesn’t want him to be gone.

—It was nice to see Snow and Charming again. Especially in such pretty clothes.

—Their little round table was the start of my crying. Three generations of heroes, how does it get better?

—Okay, I hated seeing him again, but good on Rumplestiltskin to have Peter Pan in the stocks. He had it coming.

—Very nice that original Hook had a bit of rubber on his hook so he could hold the baby safely.

—Also, very nice to actually see Hook and Emma’s happy ending. And Hope is the best possible name for their baby.

—I don’t stan wish realm Rumplestiltskin, because I already have the Rumple I love, but hearing him say “dearie” again sure was nice.

—Henry was a bit of an arse. He hit Hook over the head to sneak off and do inadvisable things. He basically told Rumple that he didn’t deserve a happy ending. And you know, that was a particularly arse move with his mother, also an ex-villain, standing right behind him. *shakes head*

—As you’re probably tired of hearing, this show is now my favorite story that I’ve ever experienced. One of the things I love most about it is the theme of hope. That’s hard to find sometimes, in our world, but I find that a lot of what these characters say, and what they go through, especially some of the stuff between Regina and Henry in recent episodes, resonates. It makes sense. And it does exactly what Regina wanted to do for wish realm Henry: it shows that if these people can survive, and hold onto hope, despite the bad things that go on in their lives, so can we. And I love that. Realism has its place, but that place is far away from me. I live in reality, and a dose of fantasy and joy and hope is exactly what I need in my stories, and I’ve found it nowhere better than here. The villains redeemed themselves, because the heroes gave them a second chance. Regina and Rumple and Hook got happy endings just like Emma and the Charmings did. Full marks.

—In other news, I have other stuff I have to do tomorrow night, but on Thursday I will be starting the series over. Which means I get to see Rumple A) alive, and 2) with his suit and long hair. Quite dapper. V dashing. Also, he’s gonna say “dearie” a whole lot.

[alicethemasked]

hi, my writing muscles have been acting up, so here is a new... maybe series, maybe one off, just random Alice writings. this is currently untitled

Testing testing, one two three, this is Victoria King, researcher for the Bellowing Occult Observations foundation, I have been sent to the ghost town of Weduz to research supposed Paranormal events that took place in the last few years before its abandonment. If I wasn’t getting paid for this I’d probably leave this place, it looks like a safety hazard on steroids, the buildings are falling apart and there is the uncreative graffiti you expect to see in abandoned areas such as this. Thankfully for my stay here I was loaned the foundations RV, so at least I have sleeping conditions.

Annoyingly the camera I’m using seems to be malfunctioning but the audio should be picking up. I guess I need to use that English degree to describe what I see, I promise not to over exaggerate things Barb, I’m not like Josh, I take my job seriously. Even if I don’t fully believe in this shit. But a job is a job. Anyway wow I’m off topic, is this why these paranormal shows stage and script things? I guess that would make this easier, not that I can stage shit with the camera not picking up any visuals, which is bullshit, I thought Barb said it was bought a month ago.

First order of business I guess is the abandoned police station, I’m not going to lie, the graffitied eyes do sort of freak me out, but seeing as I’m *alone* here, which is bullshit by the way, I’m always going to feel uneasy and watched. So I guess for the sake of batteries I’ll turn off the camera for now, Victoria out

Testing testing, gods I hope I’m not taking into nothing and that the audio doesn’t work at all, but my last recording seemed to work so I guess here we are, but yes, I found something! A police report about a sighting during a storm, I’m going to read what I found for you, and maybe give it a fun name? Something like case file #8243: Let me inn

Transcript of the 911 call that preceded the event:

[call-taker] Weduz police station, how can I help?

[victim] hello? Hello? I think something is outside my house

[call-taker] something? What do you mean, we have advised all citizens to stay inside during this storm, it is not fit for walking in

[victim] that’s why I’m calling, this thing keeps knocking, asking to be let in, but it’s voice echoes

[a laughter can be heard echoing in the background]

[call taker] is this a prank call? You need to remember that this service is only for emergencies

[victim] please no, that wasn’t me, or anyone I live alone for god's sake, my name is {removed for the anonymity of the caller} and I live alone, you must have it on file somewhere!

[knocking can be heard, followed with laughter in the back ground]

[voice] let me in {name removed}. I need to feel safe [laughter follows]

[Victim] oh god, it didn’t know that, how can it hear me

[Call taker] ok we’ll send someone to you when we can, but the storm might make the roads bad but we’ll see what we can do

[Victim] please, I don’t know what to do if it gets in

[call taker] it seems to be asking so if it’s some weird creature, just don’t. Let. it. In.

[Victim] ok, ok, this is fine

[voice] {name removed} I know you want to let me in (laughter can be heard) you don’t want me to die out there

[victim] please come quickly

[the call ends here]

[call taker] we might have an intruder alert with a drug overdosed caller, please dispatch quickly

Hi, Victoria here, I’m back, but did you hear that, I do agree with the Call-taker that it was probably drugs, but what if it wasn’t, reading further into the whole thing, the victim was found dead when the police finally arrived, claw marks littering the entrance, but no struggle to get in, it is assumed that the Victim let the intruder in as the door was still on its hinged, but what was found of her… well, be glad the camera doesn’t work, because these pictures… I want to puke just looking at them, I didn’t know that the human body could twist like that…

Looking around this was the first in a few cases in this town like this, the media supposedly called the killer “pretzel man” which I’m not going to lie, if I hadn’t seen pictures of the results myself, I might laugh, as that is the dumbest title, if accurate.

I don’t think I can handle finding more about this today.

This has been Victoria King, researcher, skeptic and crazy person for being here, over and out

[sleeping-on-cracking-ice]

Hello, my request is for Niragi ✨ Y/N was popular in high school and always protect him when he was bully. When they saw each other in Bordeland, she saw how much he changed and keep her distance from him (which he hates), and she have an attitude that make one of the militants wants to attack her but Niragi protect her like she did with him bc he would never admit her but she's his only weakness

Yessss I’ve actually been wanting to write something for Niragi that sounds very similar so I’m glad you requested this! Thanks so much! 💕

You’re Everything You Once Hated | Suguru Niragi

PART 1 | PART 2

{Alice In Borderland Masterlist}

Character(s): Niragi (ft. The guys that bullied Niragi, Ann, Hatter, OC’s)

Summary: You and Niragi were best friends in high school. When you arrive in the Borderlands, you notice he’s not the person he used to be, causing you to avoid him. But unfortunately, he’s not happy about it.

Warnings: swearing, bullying, smoking, drinking, violence, threatening, bullet wounds, implications of sexual assault

Word Count: 7.1k

*reader is female

Niragi gif credit

4 Years Earlier…

The young boy grunted out in pain, having been hit with another rock right between his eyes. This one managed to crack his glasses, making his vision go all distorted.

His classmates around him roared with laughter. His heart filled with both anger and sorrow, wanting nothing more than to dissolve into the wind and out of his current situation.

“Aww, little Niragi has become quiet. Where’s those sarcastic remarks from earlier, they seemed to have left you,” his attacker mocked, adding a mean tone to his voice.

Just the usual. ‘Maybe they might end their target practice with me earlier today,’ he hoped.

He had grown used to it. He now expected to be dragged under the bridge each day on his way home from high school, being pushed around and roughed up. It’s not like he could’ve defended himself anyway. It was six guys against one, he never had a chance.

A short jab to the back of his neck broke him out of his thoughts. He groaned and doubled over, feeling as he was going to throw up. “Come on Niragi, fight back! It’s no fun when you just stand there,” the blonde student complained, striding over to the weakened boy. He gave him a quick kick to his side, making him fall on his hip harshly.

“Fuck off,” Niragi groaned under his breath, half hoping his tormentor didn’t hear it. But unfortunately, the small remark reached his ears.

“What was that? Did you just try to defend yourself? You’re going to have to use a lot more than just a few words you fucking loner,” the boy poked, giving Niragi another harsh kick to his stomach, making him become winded and choke on air.

He laid there taking their harsh words and hearing their mocking laughter ring in his ears. What did he ever do to deserve that?

“Hey Haru!”

The blonde turned his attention from his target to the direction of the voice that called his name. There you stood, by yourself with no one else. You obviously didn’t think the situation through before throwing yourself into it. You remained near the stairs that led down to below the bridge, holding something behind your back, but Haru seemed to not notice it.

Your heart skipped a beat when the group of high school boys all locked eyes with you, confused about what you were doing interrupting them.

“The fuck do you want Y/N?” the blonde, Haru, asked you in an annoyed tone.

You gulped before answering him, trying to sound as threatening as you could without your voice cracking. “Let him go! He’s done nothing to you, why are you giving him a hard time?” you spat at him, taking a few brave steps closer to the scene in front of you.

Niragi slightly lifted himself off the ground to look over at you. He recognized you from his social studies class. You both sat together at the back, and he always thought you were too nice for your own good.

Niragi sat up and shook his head, trying to warn you to stop what you were doing. He didn’t want to drag you into his own problems. He would’ve felt awful if you happened to get hurt while trying to help him.

Haru rolled his eyes and groaned at you. “Why are you getting involved? This is none of your business,” he retorted, walking closer to you with the baseball bat in hand. You watched with fearful eyes as he swung the bat around, obviously to threaten you.

Your heart quickened and you felt it pound against your ribcage dramatically. As Haru got closer and closer, you stood your ground bravely, still holding your hand behind your back to hide your weapon from him. You weren’t stupid enough to get yourself involved without having some kind of way to defend yourself.

“Well? Are you going to answer me or just stand and shake like the pathetic girl you are?” Haru tormented, a confident smirk growing across his face.

His comment made your blood boil. “Do you have a saviour complex or something? Why did you think you could help this son of a bitch?” he pressed, gesturing towards Niragi who was slowly rising to his feet with a worried expression on his face.

That was it. He was getting far too close to you for your own liking, so you decided that comment was the final straw. You rushed towards him and pulled out the large can of pepper spray from behind your back, aiming directly at his smug face.

He cried out in pain the moment the spray hit his eyes, dropping the baseball bat and covering his face with his hands. He tried desperately to rub the stinging liquid out of his eye with his school blazer sleeves, but it wasn’t worth the effort as it only made it worse.

You moved quickly and picked up the bat that he dropped, running past him towards the other boys that were still gathered around Niragi. They all held shocked expressions on their faces.

“You want some too?” you bluntly asked, thrusting the pepper spray towards them. They all flinched and stumbled to get away. You smiled, feeling empowered.

Haru and the others ran, thinking that beating up Niragi wasn’t worth being blinded for.

You turned towards the bloodied boy standing against the wall looking at you in shock. You glanced at him, giving him a friendly smile. He returned it.

After that, you two became inseparable for the rest of your high school days, spending every waking moment together. With your tough attitude and Niragi’s shy demeanour, you were a strange friendship to have been made. You thought you would always stay together, until one day Niragi went missing.

You never guessed where he may have ended up, until you were sent there yourself a few years later.

*************

You breathed in a huge gulp of oxygen as the black bag was harshly pulled off your head. You tried to wiggle your hands to shield your eyes from the blinding sunlight seeping through the windows but struggled as you saw that your hands were tied to the armrests on either side of you. You groaned in frustration.

As the curtains closed so you could see probably, you saw a young woman with short black hair dressed in blue shorts and a white button up that was tied at the waist. “Sorry,” she began. “I forgot to close that before removing the bag.”

You looked around at your surroundings. You noticed that there were several more people in the room. The room was large, stretching down further until it came to a stop at the end where a large wall stood, conveying a huge spray painting across it that consisted of every card from a deck of cards. Some were crossed out, while a few number cards and all face cards remained untouched.

You whipped your head around, feeling restless from the number of eyes staring at you. You don’t remember how you got into this situation. All you remember is walking to a large light in the distance from your position on a bridge, being curious as to how it seemed to be the only building with electricity. Before you knew it, someone had grabbed you by the shoulders and shoved something over your head, making your vision go black and suddenly passing out.

You moaned in pain as you felt the back of your head throbbed, probably from when they punched you to knock you out.

“What’s going on?” you asked, struggling in your restraints more, trying to break free. An older man with glasses scolded you. “Stay still, Hatter will be here soon.”

Just as he promised, two large doors on your left burst open, revealing a man with a long decorative robe and dark glasses on. He had two other men beside him, both holding revolver guns.

“Ah! A newcomer!” he exclaimed excitedly, taking a big sip from his drink.

You froze, watching as he strides into the room further, making himself comfortable on a table in the centre of the room.

“A few of my militants tell me they found you sneaking around nearby The Beach,” he accused, pointing his finger at you.

You stared at him; confusion written all over your face. Militants? The Beach? What was he talking about?

After you didn’t answer him for a moment, he let out a big sigh and jumped off the table onto his feet, beginning to talk himself.

He explained the current situation to you. About how the dynamic at The Beach worked, and that considering the number of high-level cards you had on your person, you seemed to be the perfect candidate to add to the ranks of everyone there.

“And remember, death to the traitors,” he said, spite filling his tone. He had listed off the three main rules to you, each one adding more dread for you.

“Okay, all good. But I just want to say. If you want people to help you collect cards, kidnapping them isn’t the best idea. If it hasn’t hit you yet, that would make people want to help you less,” you smartly said, trying to stop your lips pulling up into a smirk.

All the heads in the room turned to Hatter. No one has ever questioned his motives to his face before, especially a newcomer.

Except, he didn’t get angry like everyone expected. Instead, he chuckled and held his drink out towards you. “Cheers to that, I guess. Have fun!”

************

The Beach was a lot more crowded than you expected. Your eyes almost popped out of your head when you walked down to the bottom floor to the pool. People were everywhere; dancing, swimming, drinking, talking, smoking. It honestly couldn’t have been more chaotic than it already was.

You spent most of the remainder of the day becoming familiar with the layout of the hotel. You found the room that you had been assigned to. You managed to score a room that was a little above average. Hatter decided to give you the benefit of the doubt and gift you a higher number due to your high number cards. He thought it was only fair.

You were sitting at a table nearby the bar. The sun had gone down but the party continued on through the chilly night air. You shivered, not being used to being dressed in a bathing suit twenty-four seven. You were annoyed that you weren’t even allowed to wear some sweatpants to bring you some kind of warmth. You guessed you would just have to grow used to feeling the cold on your skin.

The warm beverage slipped down your throat, bringing you at least a little bit of comfort. You had made yourself a coffee inside, not in the mood for alcohol just yet. You honestly didn’t like drinking without having anyone you trusted around you, just in case something was to happen.

You looked around the area, taking in everyone’s faces to see if anyone appeared friendly enough to be nice to you. You needed to make some allies before the next game, otherwise you would be the first they would sacrifice.

As you scanned the crowd, your gaze landed on a particular male, who was sitting in a more done up booth nearby the pool. He was wearing a black and white checkered shirt with black skinny jeans. He had several piercings in his face, making him seem more threatening.

You squinted your eyes. Why did he look so familiar? You swore you’ve seen him before.

You kept your gaze locked on him, watching as he communicated with the people sitting near him. You noticed that a huge sniper rifle was tucked behind him. He must have been a high-ranking militant, being able to carry a weapon like that around.

He suddenly flung his head back and let out a roar of laughter at something the guy next to him had said. You froze in your spot.

You could recognize that laugh anywhere. That loud, obnoxious laugh that used to come from your old friend Niragi from high school. Your best friend that randomly disappeared.

You blinked a few times before looking back at him. His facial features did match and the way he smiled seemed way too familiar to not be him.

How could he be here? Is this where he disappeared to a couple of years ago?

Your heart filled with joy and a wide grinned grew on your face. That had to be Niragi! Who else would it be?

You quickly stood to your feet, almost tripping on your chair in the process and began making your way towards his position.

Although, as you did so, another man approached him from behind, leaning over the seat and tapping his shoulder. Niragi turned with an angered scowl on his face, but it turned to a smirk once he heard what the man had to tell him.

You stopped in your tracks and watched as he leaped over the backrest of the couch suddenly, following the man with his rifle slung over his shoulders. They were headed to the door that led inside, so you quickly followed, wanting to reunite with your old friend from so long ago.

“Niragi!” you yelled out happily, trying to get his attention. A few heads turned at your voice around you, but he didn’t manage to hear you over the sound of the music blaring through the speakers.

“Niragi!” you tried again, but this time you were blocked by a few people in your way. A small crowd gathered in front of you, not noticing you trying to get past.

Niragi turned his head at the mention of his name but couldn’t see anyone calling his attention. He shrugged it off and kept following the man. He had told him that a young guy was causing some trouble inside one of the halls, so he was going to take care of it.

As you finally managed to force yourself through the small crowd that interrupted your path, you saw the Niragi and the man had already made it inside. You ran straight after them. You were feeling ecstatic, ready to throw your arms around him and give him the biggest hug ever to make up for all the days you’ve been apart.

As you quickly made your way inside, you caught a glance of his checkered shirt turning the corner a bit ahead of you. You moved your legs as quick as you could, trying to catch up.

You turned the corner, about to yell out to him again, but your voice got caught in your throat when the sight in front of you met your eyes.

“You really thought you could get away with this?!”

Niragi had a young boy pinned to the ground, pressing his boot against his upper back and shoving the barrel of his rifle against his skull violently. The boy below him was crying and begging for his mercy.

You had a small flashback to high school, when you saw Niragi’s main bully Haru shoving a baseball bat against the back of his head, him lying on the ground battered and bloodied.

It was the exact same scene. Only this time, Niragi was the tormentor himself.

“Niragi, I’m sorry! It won’t happen again!” he cried desperately, clawing at the floor trying to get away.

Niragi lifted his other boot and stamped it down roughly onto the boy’s hand. You covered your mouth as you heard a few bones crack.

He leaned down closer to the boy���s face and lifted his head up his hair, making him whimper in pain. “If I ever see you stealing from one of the executives again, this rifle will go down your throat and I won’t hesitate to blow the back of your skull out,” he hissed, sticking out his tongue and revealing the ball piercing he had.

The boy nodded, leaning away from Niragi as best as he could.

The man who led Niragi to the scene tapped him on the shoulder. “Alright that’s enough. You don’t want to give him PTSD,” he said calmly.

Niragi let out an annoyed groan. “But I was just getting started with him!” he whined, letting the boy out from under his boot and watching as he scuttled away like a bug.

You couldn’t move. You stayed put as the boy pushed past you, accidentally smacking into your shoulder in the process. Your eyes remained wide, staring at the tall man with fear written across your face.

This was not the Niragi you knew. It was not the Niragi you defended from those bullies. This was not the Niragi that used to be your closest friend, possessing a shy and timid personality. No, that Niragi was dead now. This was a devil standing in front of you. Nothing but a violent jerk that struck fear in anyone that he came across. What happened to him?

Unfortunately, you took a little too long to gather your thoughts and before you knew it, a rough grip was on your shoulders shaking you out of your daydream. You flinched in a panic as you saw Niragi’s angered face appear in front of yours.

“What are you looking at? You want some too?” he growled, shoving the barrel of his gun against your temple. You froze, staring into his dark, evil eyes, not knowing what to do.

You watched in confusion as his hard and angry facial features softened, rage turning into surprise, and even concern.

“Oh my god,” he whispered, taking his hands off your shoulders and backing a way a bit in shock. You kept your eyes on him. You wanted nothing but for him to recognize you a few minutes before, but now you weren’t so sure.

“Y/N?!” he exclaimed suddenly, causing you to jump as his tone. A large smile grew on his face, only you viewed it as nothing but sinister and evil.

“Oh my god Y/N! Since when did you get here?!” he asked excitedly. He quickly moved towards you again and held his arms out to give you a hug, but you backed away and shook your head, making him frown.

“What’s wrong? Don’t you recognize me? It’s me! Niragi! Your best friend!”

You shook your head again, trying to get the message across that you didn’t want him near you. “Sorry Niragi,” you mumbled, trying hard to keep your tears in.

You quickly darted around the corner, making your way to the staircase to run to your room. You felt overwhelmed. After everything that happened today, finding out that your closest friend was now a murderer was the last thing you needed.

Your stomach dropped as you heard heavy footsteps following closely behind you.

“Wait Y/N! Please let me explain!” he tried to stop you, but you weren’t going to give him any time after that performance with the young boy.

“Piss off Niragi!” you yelled, climbing the stairs as fast as you could, trying to get away from him.

You turned onto the floor that your room was located on, sprinting down the hallway. You glanced back over your shoulder to see that Niragi wasn’t that far behind you. He had dropped his rifle, now trying to catch up to you empty handed.

You quickly busted through your door and immediately pressed your entire body weight on it. You silently cursed Hatter for not letting you have locks.

You heard him arrive in front of it, immediately trying to open it, but you stood your ground. He may have been tall, but there was nothing but skin and bones on him. He had no muscles to help him push through.

You held the door shut with your leg and reached for a chair to put against the handle so we wouldn’t be able to open it. You managed to secure it underneath the handle and stood back, watching as Niragi tried to open it again, but failing.

“Y/N please just let me in! Let me explain! I didn’t mean for you to see that!” he cried. You almost felt guilty, hearing as he started tearing up behind the door while still attempting to let himself in.

“Please Y/N! Let me in! I missed you!”

You covered your ears with your hands. You didn’t want to listen to his pleas, it would do nothing but make you feel bad for him.

That wasn’t Niragi outside your door, that was a cold-blooded killer that you wanted nothing to do with.

**************

The next few days you spend on alert around The Beach, looking around every corner for Niragi. As much as you’ve missed him the past few years, that event that occurred with the young boy obviously showed that he was no longer the nice and caring friend that you used to have. If anything, he now has become what he hated most in his high school days, a selfish and careless bully.

Who wants to be associated with someone like that? Not you.

Although even though you managed to avoid him in person, his name was brought up wherever you went. A few people would approach you during the day and warn you that Niragi was looking for you. It only would make your anxiety spike, causing you to scatter off to a more secluded place somewhere at The Beach. Most of the time you would hide in your room, but on the few occasions you climbed to the roof or hung around Alice and Usagi (who you had befriended), you managed to keep away from the psychopath.

One day, you were sitting out on one of the tables out by the pool. It was still quite early in the morning, so there wasn’t a lot of people around. The air was quite nippy, making you shiver against the cold breeze. You rubbed your arms up and down, trying to warm yourself up. Unfortunately, you hadn’t grown used to the ‘always wear bathers’ policy yet.

You felt a gentle hand lay itself on your shoulder, making your eyes widen and your head whip around to yell at whoever had dared to touch you, but you held in your harsh remark when your eyes met with Niragi’s.

“Finally! I found you!” he exclaimed, a sickening smile spreading across his face. You leant away from his touch, scooting your butt along the seat of the table, trying to make distance between the two of you.

Niragi obviously didn’t like this.

“Why are you avoiding me like I’m some kind of disease? I just want to talk to you! I haven’t seen you in years!” he said annoyed, taking a seat at the table.

You eyed his sniper rifle closely, watching as he placed it down on the table in front of him. You felt somewhat relieved that the barrel was pointing away from you. Who knew when he would decide to use that vicious weapon against you?

You blinked, not daring to say anything. You wanted to get out of the situation as soon as possible. It was unbearably uncomfortable.

“Sorry Niragi, I have to go,” you stated, standing up out of your seat and moving to turn away.

Niragi gripped the back of your hoodie and pulled you so you sat down again, making you yelp in surprise. “No, you don’t. Stop avoiding me,” he growled, placing an arm around your shoulders and pulling you closer to him.

You closed your eyes tightly in discomfort. You swore you were so close you could hear his heart beating. With a short shove to the side, you got out of his grip and stood up again.

“No, I do. I’m sorry but I really don’t want to talk to you,” you bluntly said, becoming agitated from his insistent behaviour. Why did he think he could just tell you what to do?

He frowned, standing up as well. “Fine then, I’ll just come too. I don’t care if you don’t want to talk to me. You don’t get a choice.”

You rolled your eyes and quickly started walking away from him, hoping to at least get a head-start to stay away from him. You heard him jog up to you as you kept walking, seeing his shadow appear right next to you.

You became more and more anxious the longer he followed you. He started to get a little too comfortable in his movements, even having the audacity to touch your hair and comment on how much it’s grown.

It got to a point where you had walked all the way to the lobby about three times, realizing that he wasn’t even focusing on where you were going. You turned around just as he was reaching to grab your hand, looking him in the eye with anger written all over your face.

“Can you not take a hint?! Leave me the fuck alone!” you yelled, watching as his face contorted into shock at your tone.

“I don’t want to have anything to do with you Niragi! You’re fucking insane and sadistic! Has it not occurred to you that you’ve literally become the soul thing that you hated in high school?!” you sassed, anger ripping from your words and smacking him in the face.

The few people in the lobby turned their heads at the sound of your arguing, being curious due to not seeing anyone ever dare to yell such vulgar words towards Niragi.

He tucked his hand into his jeans pocket and readjusted the rifle on his shoulder, almost looking bored. “Yeah? And what would that be?” he asked, licking his bottom lip while staring at your menacingly.

You cringed as his movements. “A fucking asshole! A little bitch that preys on those weaker than him just so he can project his own hatred for himself onto them! You’re pathetic Niragi, and it’s a real shame that no one has in this shithole has told you so. Because no one knows you like I know you, and I know that on the inside, you hate yourself more than anyone could ever hate you.”

You took in a deep breath, regaining your strength. You suddenly saw the irony in your words. You accused Niragi of projecting his anger onto others when you just did it yourself.

Niragi rolled his eyes, bringing his rifle down off his shoulder and fiddling with the bullet canister. You felt your heart stop from his actions, being afraid that he was going to use it on you.

“Don’t act like you don’t miss me Y/N,” he laughed, glancing his eyes back up to you.

You grunted in annoyance. “Just leave me alone, please,” you begged, turning around and leaving Niragi to the peeping eyes still staring at you both.

He turned his head to everyone in the lobby. As he did so, everyone turned back to what they were doing, being afraid of being caught staring and yelled at by him.

“That’s right. Mind your own business,” he shouted out across the lobby to make sure everyone heard.

He watched you as you walked away, eventually turning the corner to go search for Alice and Usagi. At least they would give you some kind of security after what just happened.

He chuckled to himself, sticking his pierced tongue out and running it across his lips once again. “Just you wait Y/N, you’ll come running back to me soon enough. You can only keep that tough façade up for so long. Just wait until people find out that you’re all bark and no bite.”

************

You stumbled your way to the entrance of the hotel, head throbbing in pain and legs aching from the muscle strain you’ve put on them. You had arrived back from your game, being the only one that managed to survive. You didn’t feel well, both physically and emotionally, so you were planning on slipping into a coma for a few days to sleep off the pain that you were feeling at that moment.

It felt like a huge effort to even lift your feet. You didn’t feel like talking to anyone, so you weren’t even thinking of checking in on Alice or Usagi. You said to yourself you would look for them tomorrow. You were in too much of a bad mood to engage in conversation. You’d probably end up snapping at them, which wouldn’t be fair on them since they just completed a harsh game themselves.

As you were just about to enter through the large glass doors before a young militant woman with short blonde hair pushed through before you even had the chance. She managed to even knock your shoulder during the process, making you hiss in pain.

She looked you up and down with a disgusted expression on her face. “Watch where you’re going,” she spat before continuing walking inside.

You rolled your eyes. “Bitch,” you mumbled under your breath.

Her head quickly whipped around to meet your eye, an angered scowl on her face. “Excuse me?” she said in disbelief.

Your words got stuck in your throat. She wasn’t meant to have heard that. “I-I…”

“I-I..” she mocked you. You felt your adrenaline skyrocket. You’ve heard of this girl; she doesn’t take things lightly.

“Look I’m sorry, it just slipped out I promise,” you stammered out, putting your hands up in a surrender. You weren’t in the mood for dealing with her shit, you were grumpy and tired. You hoped she would let you off with just a warning.

But she had different plans.

She grabbed you by the back of your hoodie, dragging you outside again and brought you over to a small alleyway that ran along the side of the hotel. You struggled in her grip and protested the whole way.

Although, you stopped fighting against her when she shoved you against a brick wall and pulled a revolver out of her jacket pocket, pushing it underneath your chin. You froze and looked at her with pleading eyes, begging for her to have mercy.

“You’ve messed with the wrong person you bitch,” she growled, giving you a quick jab to the ribs. You yelped in pain, clutching your side. It hurt ten times more, considering you’ve already faced a horrific game that same night.

“I’m sorry!” you cried, feeling tears welling up in your eye sockets.

She scoffed and smirked at you. “Wow, all bark and no bite huh?” she teased, throwing a kick to your shin, making you cry harder.

Her words angered you, making you see red for a short moment. You forgot about the revolver against your chin and gave her a quick punch to the jaw, making her head whip sideways.

She groaned, clutching her face and slowly turned back to you. You felt yourself fill with regret when you saw the look on her face. She looked like she was ready to kill you.

“Is that how you want it? Fine, have a hole in your foot. Maybe it’ll manage to get you and your attitude killed off in the next game,” she snarled.

Your stomach dropped at her words. Before you could even protest, she pulled away and aimed the gun towards the ground and blew a quick bullet in the top of your foot.

You cried out, kneeling and grasping your foot in your hands in pain, biting your tongue so you didn’t scream too loud. The pain of the bullet seeped from your foot and up your leg, spreading across your body.

The militant girl stood above you, laughing at your pathetic body lying on the ground. Your screams of pain brought her pleasure.

“Didn’t think this would happen when you bad mouthed me, didn’t you?!” she laughed, leaning down and pushing the gun against your head to threaten you more.

Another gunshot rang in your ears. For a moment you thought it was her and that she had put a bullet through your head, killing you. But then you heard a cry and saw the girl fall in the ground holding your shin with her head thrown back in a silent scream.

You were about to attempt to stand up to take this opportunity to run, but quickly jumped back down to the ground when another loud gunshot filled the air. You heard the bullet colliding with flesh as the girl flinched violently and cried out again.

You heard a menacing male laugh fill the air, and you glanced down the alleyway to see where it came from.

There stood Niragi, holding his sniper rifle out towards you both with smoke protruding from the barrel of it. A psychotic grin was painted across his face and you swore you saw his eyes shine red.

“Why are you giving my poor love a hard time?! Maybe think twice before you put a bullet through my property,” he exclaimed, chucking and walking up to the girl giving her a harsh kick to the ribs.

You felt like you were about to throw up and hearing some of her ribs crack from the collision of her chest to his boot did not help your nausea.

You rubbed your eyes and pressed your forehead against the ground. You wanted to wake up, like this was all some bad dream. Before you knew it, you were silently sobbing on the floor, tears rolling out of your eyes and down your cheeks.

You felt two arms wrap around you, lifting you off the cold stone floor and into a warm chest. You winced and whined as the bullet wound in your foot shot a searing pain through your leg. Niragi shushed you quietly.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’ve got you,” he whispered, placing his cheek on top of your head.

His behaviour was giving you whiplash. One second ago he was acting like a maniac, shooting holes through a young girl, but now he was carrying you by under your knees and your shoulders, your head tucked into his neck.

You were exhausted, your body not even listening to you. You tried to move your leg to force yourself out of his grip but didn’t even have the strength to lift it. Your head was throbbing, and you could’ve passed out easily in his arms, but forced yourself to stay awake.

As Niragi walked past the lobby to get to the medical room, he attracted a few worried faces. Some even stood up to walk over and ask if you were okay. Everyone was terrified he had bad intentions with you, knowing how he was.

He ignored the few that approached both of you, rushing down the hall to escape them. He had to get there quickly so Ann could treat your bullet wound.

When he arrived, he pushed through the door harshly and called out to Ann with a worried tone. She stopped what she was doing and turned to the door to see Niragi holding you close to him protectively, blood dripping into the ground from your shoe.

“Shit, bring her here.” She gestured towards an empty table in the middle of the room. Niragi rushed over and placed you gently on the metal table, letting you lean your upper body against him.

Ann brought over some large tweezers, a cloth, disinfectant and a bandage. You flinched at the sight of the tweezers, moving to get away from her. “No, no!” you begged, trying to crawl up the table to get away, but Niragi grabbed your waist and pinned you against his chest.

“We have to get the bullet out Y/N, we can’t just leave it in there!” he argued, brushing your hair out of your face to calm you down.

You struggled against his grip as Ann held down your foot and carefully removed your shoe and sock. You looked down and saw a small hole in the top of your foot. How could such a small injury cause so much pain?

“Alright Niragi, keep her still. This is going to hurt,” Ann said shallowly, picking up the tweezers to try and remove the bullet.

“Yep.” You felt his grip on you tighten and he tucked his chin on your head. “Please just keep still Y/N, I’m here. It’s okay,” he cooed. His reassuring words didn’t do much to ease your anxiety.

Niragi turned your face so you were nuzzled into his chest. He knew that making you watch Ann take the bullet would do nothing but freak you out more, so he wanted to protect you from the sight.

You felt fine until the pain in your foot suddenly skyrocketed, making you let out a piercing scream. You bit your tongue to try and quieten yourself, but it didn’t do much.

Niragi frowned as he suddenly felt you go limp against him. He looked down at your face to see you had passed out, eyes shut tight and letting out soft breaths.

He smiled and brushed his fingers across your face. “So cute,” he mumbled.

“Well, that’s better. Maybe if we just knocked her out with a quick jab to the head, it would’ve saved us the headache of trying to keep her down,” Ann stated bluntly, causing Niragi to laugh.

“You know how this happened?” she asked him, raising her eyebrows.

“A bitch shot her just outside the hotel,” he said with an angry tone.

Ann didn’t seem surprised. Events like that occurred a lot. She had removed a lot of bullets the time she had been there.

“What happened to the girl? Did she run when she saw you?”

“I didn’t give her the chance to. She copped two bullets into her body for doing that to Y/N.”

“Did you think maybe Y/N was the one giving her a hard time?”

“Doesn’t matter. I only saw her shoot the bullet, nothing else.”

“Fair enough.”

***********

You cracked your eyes open to a room that most definitely wasn’t your own. You groaned and sat up, wincing when the pain in your foot shot through your leg. Memories of yesterday filled your head. “I must have passed out in the medical room,” you said to yourself.

You scanned the room. It was much bigger than yours. The bed you were in was three times the size of yours, and this room even had a huge balcony. As you looked around more, you noticed that a bag of your stuff was placed near the closet.

You frowned. Why was your stuff from your room here?

Suddenly the door opened to reveal Niragi, walking in with a plate of a bread roll and a bottle of water. He saw you awake and smiled.

“Aw little mouse is awake. How’s your foot?” he purred.

You cringed at the pet name. “What’s it to you, dickhead,” you growled, getting out of the bed and standing up. You were wearing the same clothes that you wore to the game yesterday, minus the shoes and the jacket.

Niragi smirked and placed the food on a small table in the centre of the room. “Have you forgotten who saved your pathetic ass yesterday?” he asked, approaching you. “And also, don’t stand on that foot. It’s injured, you have to rest it.” He pushed on your shoulder lightly to make you sit on the bed again. He sat himself next to you and leaned towards your face.

You moved away from his face, hating how close he was to you. “Yeah, but how did you know I even needed help? And don’t tell me you were just going on a short stroll through the alleyway at eleven at night,” you said, scooting up the bed and leaning your back against the wooden bedhead.

Niragi chuckled. “What if I was? Are you accusing me of stalking?” he suggested.

You shook your head. “Why is my stuff here,” you asked, changing the subject.

Niragi glanced over at the bag full of your stuff on the ground near the closet. He turned back to you with a smile on his face. “Oh yeah! I forgot to say, you’re moving in with me,” he said excitedly.

You felt your stomach drop. “What? I didn’t agree to this.” You swung your legs over the side of the bed and attempted to stand again. You could only place pressure on one foot, so you stood on one leg.

“Oh, baby. I don’t care if you don’t want to. You’re in here with me now, whether you like it or not,” he growled, reaching out towards you waiting for you to place your hand in his.

You stared at him, trying to see if he was joking or not. But from the serious look on his face, you didn’t think he was.

“I’m not staying in here with you. You’re a fucking psycho.”

You attempted to limp over to the door, wanting to escape Niragi as soon as possible. But you didn’t expect him to be so insistent on you staying.

A sudden arm around your waist spun your around and Niragi pinned you against the door, his face far too close to yours for it to be comfortable. “Did you not just hear me? You don’t get a choice love. You’re stuck with me,” he rasped into your face with a scary smile across his.

Your breath hitched and you turned your head away as he moved his face closer, trying to force his lips against yours. You felt helpless.

“Niragi please. Let me go, I’m sorry if I ever angered you,” you begged, pushing on his chest, but he wouldn’t budge. “I promise if you let me go, we can go back to how we were in high school.” You were trying to do anything that would get him off you. Your heart was racing, and you were becoming more frightened by the second.

Niragi licked a long and slow stripe from your collar bone to the back of your ear. You cringed and sobbed at the feeling of his tongue and saliva on your skin. “Maybe I don’t want it like it was back then. Maybe I want more Y/N,” he whispered.

He tucked his face into your neck and nipped at your skin. He had your arms pinned either side of you and his leg was holding your good foot against the door. You couldn’t do anything to defend yourself.

“What have you become Niragi,” you sobbed after a short moment.

Niragi removed himself from your neck, leaning back to look at you. You stared into his eyes, seeing the same dark and beautiful orbs that used to make your heart race with love in high school, only now, they made your heart race with fear.

“I’ve become the real me Y/N, and you’re going to love me, whether you want to or not.”

[dourpeep]

IT WAS 2AM WHEN I SENT THAT SO I HELD BACK MY SIMPING FOR COLLEGE ALBEDO A LITTLE. tried not to send all my brainrot so I didn't just send a wall of text into your inbox LOL. Some others I thought of were:

- Mona giving astrology forecasts and compatibility readings in this au and Albedo may have asked her about the two of you

- Going to botanical gardens or museums with Albedo but for some reason it feels like a date even when it didn't intent to be. You tug on his sleeve now and then when you see something he might be interested in or even when it's something that excites you, and Albedo can't help but have a soft look in his eyes that he can share this moment with you! Somehow it results in the two of you holding hands - just so neither of you stray from each other of course - and eventually, intertwined fingers. You hear someone say that the two of you seem like a cute couple and you know Albedo heard it too, but neither of you say anything. You feel his hand squeeze yours a little tighter and respond in kind. The two of you are too embarrassed to look at each other but can't help the smiles on your faces.

- Lending Albedo some of your favourite books for pleasure reading and you've left tiny tabs on lines that you like. Perhaps this is before Albedo realizes his feelings so when he reads particularly romantic lines, he wonders if this is how he feels about you. Or did you mark these pages because you feel this way about someone? His stomach is in knots to the thought that you may be intrested in someone that isn't him and he settles for it just being prose.

WHAT YOU WROTE WAS SO CUTE AAA. THANK YOU FOR SIMPING FOR COLLEGE BEDO WITH ME!!

Tugging his hand and not letting go omg . . . you tend to just intertwine pinkies or play with his fingers absent-mindedly that Albedo becomes so accustomed to it so he starts to offer you his hands without a second thought.

WAIT. I gasped at Albedo being a cuddler. He's a little delirious when he first wakes up but you're so comfy that he hugs you a little tighter, asking if you've slept well. You try to reply while worrying about whether or not he can feel your heart thrumming in your chest.

What if Klee is staying with Albedo one night and the three of you fall asleep cuddled up together. Alice comes back early in the morning before any of you are awake and takes a picture. She sends it to Albedo later and he sets it as his phone's wallpaper.

Albedo staring at your lips winded me, thank you.

YES TO THE SWEATERS. I bet Albedo would have the softest and coziest sweaters too! Imagine it being a little cold out and you see Albedo across campus so you bound over to him and give him a hug. You nuzzle into him and mumble out a little 'hello' and say he's warm. You feel his laugh rumble through his chest while he greets you back, wrapping his arms around you

And I LOVE ALL YOUR HEADCANONS! I believe I found your blog around the time you posted Albedo's snort headcanon and it was too much for my heart!! I held tight to that headcanon and never let go lol. I also thought the science + college headcanons you had of him were really nice despite not being necessarily romantic!

Side note: I looked up that lobster fact and that's so cool!!

The Lobster Fact(tm) is my go-to ice breaker and it always fails. I'd imagine it's normally the same w/ Bedo OTL so sad...not many wish to know about potential lobster immortality.

I'm glad that you love the headcanons though!! I enjoy writing for Albedo so so much as you can tell ehe

That being said--if it makes you more comfy to send stuff in a few bursts of asks, I don't mind :DD I'll answer them as usual nodnod

OKIE DOKIE

-

"...Mona, yes?"

"Ah, I was expecting you to come around sooner or later, Kreideprinz."

Really, Albedo didn't mean to stumble upon the Astronomy major, but for some reason the thought of you has been on his mind and the campus' observatory just so happened to be on the way. With the meager hope that...maybe he'd find some sort of answer (in what, he wasn't really sure himself), there she was.

Luckily, she knew just what he was there for.

The moment that she twirls her hand with a wave, telling him that there isn't anything to worry about, the apprehension creeping within his chest at the thought of seeing you next-

disappeared.

It's not often that he turns to less orthodox methods, but he wouldn't lie. Knowing that--at least in Mona's opinion (which tended to be correct, anyway)--the two of you were undoubtly compatible? Something about how your constellations were intertwined...

In fact, Albedo turns a little theory around in his mind. Though based in old folktales, the idea that you gravitate towards those who are made of the very same stardust as yourself, suddenly made sense.

Or, perhaps he was just being hopeful.

-

Little does he know that you most definitely asked Mona about the same thing earlier that day.

-

AHHHHH BUT OF COURSE-

Any of those kinds of places--Botanical Gardens, Art Museums, Aquariums, Zoos, Museums in general--Any place where you're able to utterly lose yourself in your surroundings and look around in awe, really, are your go-to date outing destination!

Usually, it's just the two of you, maybe with Sucrose or Timaeus if it's for a particular class, as well as the occasional Klee in tow whenever Alice is busy with work.

But in this case, fingers interlocked, it's just the two of you on a impromptu trip to the art museum downtown after seeing a promotional banner about a new exhibit. Once inside, you rush along, Albedo trailing close behind with a light squeeze of your hand. The large area used for temporary exhibits isn't far from the entrance, so it's not long until you skid to a stop.

All along the walls are incredibly detailed oil paintings, the thin layered strokes glistening in the light. Albedo takes a moment to whisper to you about how oil paint works.

Due to the thinness of the paint and it's transparency, light passes through every carefully placed stroke, allowing for a unique sort of depth that isn't achievable with other painting media. You smile, the artificial light of the art exhibit making your features glow and Albedo can't help but wonder if you are like those paintings.

So complex, so carefully created in an image perfected with time. Your eyes search his and you say his name and Albedo clears his throat when he realizes he's been staring.

"Do you like this one?"

Ah, you must've assumed he took a liking to this particular painting.

His eyes shift back to it, taking in the sight of the balance of color, the composition, then back to you. He only stares a second longer before nodding.

Whether or not you realize the view he likes is you is something that he dwells on as you both make your way to the next painting.

-

If you had a penny for every time that someone comments on the way you compliment each other, you'd probably be able to pay off your tuition for next semester.

Okay, perhaps not, but the idea still stands.

You're only just at the end of the art exhibit when the security guard wishes the two of you a lovely date. Something about how young love is something to be treasured, something about how the two of you already seem so natural and comfortable in each other's presence.

Before you can mumble out an explanation, Albedo just squeezes your hand, gentle as always, and smiles.

It's a compliment, right? For someone to see how close you are, even if you really are just friends, is a good thing.

Ignoring the warmth that spreads over your cheeks, you smile and turn your head away shyly. Squeezing his hand back, the thought of what it'd be like if you were together crosses your mind.

-

Just as you lend books to him, he lends books to you. Surprisingly, this time it just so happens to be a poetry book--something that you expressed interest in a week ago but ended up not getting.

Within, he's left colorful notes with his neat, slanted writing.

Short discussions (presumably questions to himself) of what the poet must've been thinking, different possible scenarios, are peppered throughout the book. But one just so happens to catch your eye. Rather than a question, it's a statement. Simple, short, and...sweet.

'You carry the aura of the stars.'

The little yellow sticky note pasted beneath a love poem to the night sky stands out. Suppressing a flutter in your chest, you continue reading through the poem book with a few giggles at Albedo's musings until you find a note with most of the words crossed out.

It's entirely unlike him, the way that the dark ink scribbled over the words, making them illegible.

But at the bottom was a continued attempt--one you presume he was satisfied with by the way it lay pristine on the colorful paper.

'You look. I fail to speak.

Your mind, so brilliant as it is I wish to see behind To further appreciate the one I love.

I can only hope one day you shall let me in, So for now I wait patiently by your side.'

Who could he have written this for? You can't help but stare at the poetic attempt, knowing full well that Albedo seldom does something without meaning.

The book closes and you tuck it back on the shelf to ask about later.

-

AAAAA YESYESYESYES I LOVE THAT CUDDLE PILE W/ ALBEDO AND KLEE

Even though Albedo's a grade A student and certified genius (he's adamant in his denial, shaking his head and mumbling about how he just studies hard), he's not entirely a stickler for rules.

Well, that is, Aunt Alice's suggestion that Klee goes to bed by 9.

Instead, the three of you settle in the common room of Albedo's place in a bundle of pillows and blankets at the demands of a pillow fort.

The tv blinks on accompanied by the near silent click of the remote.

"What should we watch?"

Klee always ends up picking the movie. This time, she wants Alice in Wonderland, commenting on how the bunny is like her best friend Dodoco and the blonde girl on screen is named after mommy. Albedo doesn't bother correcting her, even though he knows quite well that dear, sweet Dodoco is a chinchilla.

Between sips of juice and a few mouthfuls of popcorn, the three of you fall asleep, Klee curled up besides you and Albedo's arm draped over you both.

Even when the sun is up in the sky, you sleep peacefully.

So, naturally, Aunt Alice has a spare key just in case something like this happens.

Immediately she's met with the sweetest view--her two kids (she's practically adopted Albedo as her own at this point) and--

Hiding a cheeky smile behind her hand, Alice can't help but sneak a little closer when she spies the way that you and Albedo somehow gravitated closer, his face buried in your hair and yours resting against his collar. Wedged between you with tousled hair, Klee snoozes peacefully.

She snaps a picture, followed by another, and another, and a fourth for good measures before meandering into the kitchen to prep something for breakfast.

Might as well let her three favorite people enjoy the comfort of sleep for a little longer...

You wake up the moment that Klee wiggles her way out of the blankets, nuzzling against the warmth radiating under your cheek.

Nice and cozy. Smells nice...wait.

Eyes fluttering open, you're met with a familiar birthmark and the nearly gone scent of Albedo's cologne.

You nearly pull away until the arm, now wrapped around your waist, pulls you closer accompanied by a satisfied sigh. Ah. You shut your eyes tight when you realize that Albedo's going to be asleep for at least another thirty minutes, resigning to your fate gladly.

Of course, Alice takes the opportunity to snap a few more pictures when you've finally fallen back asleep.

-

YES ALSO ALSO

Speaking of Albedo and sweaters and warm and also the just mentioned cologne. A little fun tidbit--not only are you familiar with the scent of his cologne because he wears it often, but it (in this au) is actually one that you picked out some time back. You probably were at the store together smelling some of the perfumes when you came across one that you were pleasantly surprised by.

Specifically, something that's lightly floral, a little warm but sweet with a hint of earthiness.

The pros? It fits Albedo perfectly! It also kinda sticks well and his place faintly smells of it.

The cons?? Well...you're embarrassed to say that hugging Albedo tends to drag on a little longer than anticipated because it's just such a comforting scent-

Not because you associate it with Albedo or anything-

Ehe

Man I really went to town again, didn't I?? Well, I'm glad that you enjoy my headcanons :DDD Albedo just seems like such a sweet person??? Like endearing in a way that just is...him. If that makes sense.

Brain go brrrrrr

I'll admit that my favorite headcanons for Bedo are mundane and domestic ones though! Like these! Just the little moments where there's nothing really going on except for him and you and ahhhh yesyesyes

Okay that's all-

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

okay, I want to hear about your thoughts on Renesmee wanting to eat Edward?? What's up with that. Also would love to hear about your opinion on this child in general. All the people in her life are hardcore projecting on her, what's the alien child's perspective on all this shit. Thanks for all the twilight meta its wild.

Thank you, glad you enjoy my rambling, strange, thoughts.

What’s Up With Renesmee Devouring Her Enemies?

So, this one’s actually a bit of headcanon on my end, not really supported by anything directly. We’re going way into left field with this.

But I do have this. Renesmee is a highly efficient predator, perhaps in a way more so than the vampire (although she is weaker and slower than vampires) and Renesmee is... not human, for whatever that means.

Everything we see of Renesmee’s early biological development, and what we see happening in Nahuel and his sisters, makes a lot of sense from a biological standpoint.

The mother is turned essentially into a hybrid incubator, such that even if she wanted to abort she likely would not be able to or would not survive it. The child grows at a rapid rate in the room and has to eat itself out, at which point it has a starter meal of the human mother. The child then grows absurdly rapidly to the point where, mentally and physically, it can survive on its own. Growth then slows and then stops when sexual maturity is reached, presumably for reproductive purposes.

Vampires cannot do a few things. They are a half-sterile race, only able to reproduce through humans and the previously male half of the human species. They also need external help to kill a fellow vampire. In other words, they have to light a fire.

Until you burn the pieces, the enemy vampire isn’t dead. Now, using fire as a tool is to date something only the human species has figured out. It is not intuitive and an odd coincidence that vampires had this prerequisite knowledge (I have thoughts on what vampirism even is and where it comes from). 

I imagine, just as Renesmee presumably has reproductive capabilities that vampires lack, she also a has a toolset that vampires lack: the ability to kill a vampire without the need for fire. 

Given that Renesmee’s able to eat human food, this implies she has a digestive that is able to break down nutrients. The reason vampires can’t eat other vampires is they lack this. Edward swallows pizza, he’s vomiting that shit back up three hours later and it’s going to be very solid and very gross. Whatever venom did to his innards, most of his vital human organs aren’t working anymore.

Given that Renesmee’s this mix of venom and who knows what kinds of fluids I believe her stomach is capable of breaking down and digesting vampire flesh. This seems to me the most obvious way to eliminate an enemy vampire when no tools are otherwise available.

Hence, instinctively, if Renesmee wants to murder Edward she will eat him.

(Also, as you can tell, the image is just horrifyingly delightful to me, and so it’s my go to response.)

As for why she would want to eat him, see here and here.

The Family and Renesmee

As you note, everyone in Renesmee’s life projects someone else onto her.

Not so much Carlisle, he just seems very bewildered and overwhelmed by everything at first, and one of the few who openly notes how not human Renesmee is and the implications of this (given the chromosome experiment, I’m sure Carlisle was expecting a squid).

Even in the early stages though we see Edward, Bella, Alice, and Rosalie as primary offenders. (I’d list Esme except Esme is... being Esme about it, so, she’s just floating through Renesmee’s life like her Cullen ghost self and not even at the point where she can project anything onto her. Besides, that’s what Edward’s for.)

Edward sees the best of both himself and Bella in Renesmee, a little intellectual who reads War and Peace at a few weeks old when she has no understanding of the concepts of War, Napoleon, Russia, or Peace. As Edward always does, he so obliviously projects onto her, that I imagine it doesn’t matter what Renesmee says or does around him and she quickly figures that out.

Bella’s left the planet. Renesmee’s this beautiful thing, that looks like Edward, that is her daughter. Bella has no idea what parenting is. She’s floating through life preparing herself to become Esme 2.0. It’s not so much that she projects onto Renesmee but that she... completely fails to connect her to reality. Renesmee is a concept to Bella. Renesmee might figure this out, but given her feelings for her mother, I imagine she’s far more conflicted about it. She probably wishes things could be different between them, and often tries to find ways to make it so, it just never works.

Alice treats Renesmee much as she treated Bella, as her little doll that she can dress in cute clothing. Beyond that, Renesmee is a nuisance who messes with Alice’s gift. Oh, Alice likes her well enough, but I don’t see them having an actual meaningful conversation or connection.

Rosalie’s probably the wort offender in the projection domain. She is absolutely projecting the ideal human child she never had onto Renesmee. When Renesmee inevitibly fails to live up to these perfect standards, which even a human child wouldn’t, I imagine Rosalie will get increasingly upset. Acknowledging Renesmee isn’t what she wanted either would probably break Rosalie, so she’s not going to do that, and instead try to get Renesmee to behave correctly. For however much she cares about Renesmee, I imagine Renesmee sours on her growing up, as she knows she will never be what Rosalie wishes she was. Grateful that Rosalie helped keep her alive, of course, but... she would also probably wonder, as fandom does, just how much Rosalie was hoping Bella would die in birth (for the record, I think this might have been an idle fantasy of Rosalie’s, but I don’t think she’d go this far.)

Then of course, there’s Jake. Woof, Jake. As I linked above, I think Renesmee will slowly become more and more disenchanted with Jake. She’ll either learn about or suspect her own gift, have no interest in having a romantic relationship with him, or learn about his checkered past with her mother. More Jake is...

Imprinting, at a very large distance, sounds nice but imagine what that means. You have this person who is utterly dependent on you, who will do whatever you want and be whatever you wish them to be. In other words, you have this codependent person you can never get rid of who is never authentic. They will never say no to you, will always do what you wish, and if you dare to tell them you want a little time to yourself they will probably combust into flames.

That’s not a good relationship for anyone: imprinter or imprintee.

Jake, in a sense, ceases to be a real person when it comes to Renesmee. Renesmee will figure that out and then... why should she live her life just to make this miserable man who once tried to murder her happy?

What Does This Do to Renesmee?

I imagine Renesmee grows up feeling very isolated.

She doesn’t really belong in the Cullens, for all that they’re the best fit she has. She certainly doesn’t belong with other imprintees in the tribe (and whatever occasional function she goes to with the Quileutes is probably a complete disaster), and she’s not human either.

I imagine her strongest relationships are Charlie Swan (who beyond the surrealness of his life I imagine takes Renesmee at very face value), Carlisle Cullen (who also seems to not project onto Renesmee and takes her at face value), and Bella (who she desperately wants a stronger relationship with but Bella’s not listening).

Well, Charlie at some point will die. He will not choose immortality. I imagine Renesmee never quite understands why he was allowed to choose death or what the purpose of the human species even is. To her, they are caterpillars who never went into the chrysalis. Given to Renesmee the Cullen diet is the norm, to her it would seem obvious that, yes, everyone in the world can turn into a vampire and if they ration animal resources correctly there’s no problem. Or, if not everyone, then certainly her grandfather need not die.

I’m sure Charlie tries to talk to Renesmee about this but given that he’s one of her few strong relationships in this world the talk of “I’m going to die some day, sorry kiddo” doesn’t go well.

So, I’m sure it takes Renesmee a very long time to recover from that blow, if, in fact, she ever really does. I’m sure a part of her will always grieve Charlie.

In time, I think she’ll leave the coven to go on a journey of self discovery. The coven will just be too damn suffocating and she needs to find out who she truly is. Now, if that’s before or after the inevitable collapse of the Volturi and destruction of human society is hard to say.

I will say that whatever the future holds for Renesmee, just like everyone else’s, it is unbearably bleak.

[mywritingonlyfans]

i like the idea of thomas for the dad/christmas fic 🥺

heeey!!! thanks for comment on it again!!! once again, i'm sorry for not writing that one with the person 'we' mentioned first😅 hope u like it!

-> dad!thomas raggi x reader

prompt: in which, dad!thomas is bit late for xmas to see his little girl! bonus. he teaching his little girl how to play the guitar!

warnings: none, just the good stuff today!! oh, we actually talk more about the 'finals' holiday than xmas itself on here so i hope it doesnt be too awkward for people who don't celebrate it.

-------------------++++----------------

You closed the fairytale book, putting it in its place on the shelf, and then tidied the blanket to cover Alice better. One of her arms was on her new guitar, which Santa Claus had left for her at Thomas's mother’s house; and by Santa you meant Thomas. She was so happy at the moment that you couldn't wait to show him the video. 

 Despise this, the smile on her face hadn't lasted long, you didn't know if everyone could see that she looked sad or if it was something maternal that warned you about it. She was asleep, and even though you could tell she was heartbroken, her long eyelashes rested under the freckles of her chubby face; appearing to be all agitated - she had not cried, but you knew she had held back her tears while you put her to sleep. You didn't blame her, you missed him, too. 

 You hugged your torso, wanting to stay there with her, you didn't feel like going to sleep knowing that he wasn’t home for Christmas. When you looked at her again, with her sad little face, you suddenly felt bad for not thinking about letting her sleep with you; since she liked it when you let her stay in Thomas’s side of the bed when he wasn’t around.

“I love you, angel,” you whispered, brushing her hair away from her face and placing a kiss on the prominent freckles on her nose. She mumbled something you couldn't understand, and smiling silly at your girl, you took her purrs as your cue to make your way to the kicthen.

You hummed one of Thomas’s band songs to yourself after you checked that there was no messages or new call on it. He promised he would at least contact you, and as long as you are together he never was one to broke his promises; so what you could do was wait. 

 It was the first Christmas after you had Alice that he hadn't been able to come back home on time. And as much as you told him that you understood and that everything would be fine, which was true, you couldn't deny how much you missed him.

You kept the leftovers Alice had begged her grandmother to give her on the frigde, remembering how she had planned on eating it with Thomas when he got home. Glad pleased, you could imagine how happy he’d be that she thought about doing it for him. Just when your mind was ready to get lost in a scenario where Thomas would be home for the Holidays, the vibrations of your phone interrupted you.

“Hey, babe. Merry Christmas!” You said excitedly. It was him, he wouln’t forget of you. It was late at night and you had no idea what time it was for him, but still he called. 

“Merry Christmas, babe,” He said in a slurred, almost inaudible voice. He looked a bit sapped and busy.

“It's not a good time, right? I can call you later if you can’t speak right now or are feeling too tired,”

“Nah, it’s fine,” He assured, a bit breathless, getting clearer over the phone. “How was your day? How’s Alice? God, I missed you,”

“It was good,” you sighed, thinking about being cheeky and adding that it would have been better with him, yet you were afraid that it might make him feel worse. “Alice is fine too. She loved the guitar, you will love to see it. I filmed everything, she didn’t stop jumping with it in her arms, telling your parents how it was just like the one his dad have. She misses you so much, Thommy, and I think she’s learning how to deal with it.”

“She’s learning...” he repeated. “I wish she didn't need to learn to deal with me being away from her,”

“Don’t say that, I made a bad choice of words, you know she loves you and she loves even more the way you love her extra when you’re back. She understands, Thomas,”

“She’s 5 years old, Y/N,”

You let the silence fill the chasm between you. You felt how sad he was, he had been away for a long time because of the turns before, still he always managed to return for the special dates - just as he had promised when Alice was born - but this time, well, this time it wasn’t possible.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured and you visualized in your head his eyebrows furrowing as his hand ran agonizingly through his hair, just as he always do when he‘s feeling in low spirits. “You’re right. I should be focusing on the good things, soon I’ll be home, I’m gonna teach her to play the guitar, show her all my love and be the best dad in the world,”

You laughed at his abrupt change in mood mixed with a hint of himself. “I know you will, babe,”

“I’m gonna be the best boyfriend too,” he would give continuity to his words when a loud noise of something falling stopped him abruptly.

“What was it?” You asked. You made it clear that you were suspicious, and by his nervous laugh he knew that. After all, what would he say about the noise that seemed to have come from the room next to where you were? “Oh my god, Thomas, that can’t be you.”

He didn't even need to answer, the sound of your steps going on his way was enough for him to know that you knew he was there, making him curse himself for being so clumsy. And just like in a flash, you were in his arms. He dropped his bag on the floor, giving you al of his attention as he squeezed your shape to his body.

“You’re here,” you bured your face on his chest, letting the feeling of comfort fill your nostrils, and then soul. “You’re really here.” You added in a breathless sigh.

Relief taking over his body as you snuggled into his frame, he grinned, “I promised that I would try my best to be with you all the special dates, didn't I?” He asked, holding your face so he could look at you properly. “Are you crying?”

You nodded at his soft voice. “I’m sorry,”

He laughed, a nasal sound that you missed so much. “It’s ok, 5 months is a long time,” He said, tracing kisses across your face. “I promise I’m gonna love you extra now.”

——————-

It was already possible to see the sun rissing outside, yet you refused to close your eyes and lose any moment with Thomas.

You rested your head on the pillow, waiting for him and thinking of how lucky you were that he managed to catch a last minute flight to spend the New Year at home. He was scheduled to return only after the first day of the year, somehow things would have worked out better than expected and he managed to get back sooner.

“She looks like an angel sleeping so calmly.” He spoke, lying beside you under the covers.

“I thought you were going to wake her up, she'll go crazy when she sees you.”

“I know,” He smiled, proud of himself. He knew she was the definition of daddy’s little girl. “I will wait until she wakes up. I'm dying to fill her with kisses and hugs.”

Still with his charming teeth and cute dimples on display, he pulled you to his chest, trying to wrap you in the blanket next to him. “She loves you. She doesn't care about the time you spend away, as long as you come back to her.” You nuzzled into his neck, squeezing him tighter as you said that. It was likely that this would happen more often, letting Thomas blame himself for that wouldn’t do him any good.

He bobbed, kissing your forehead, enlacing you with the same intensity. “I know, babe,”

“How was turn?” You asked, looking at him, making sure that he was fine. He was thoughtful, but it wasn’t the end of the world.

He told you about his gigs around the globe and you were happy feeling his body soften on your arms. His voice almost lulled you to sleep, but you were sure you would never tire of hearing him talk about what he loves. You showed him the video of Alice receiving the guitar, seeing his eyes fill with water after she said that she‘d be just like her father made your chest almost explode with love. In the best possible way, of course.

“You can sleep if you want, babe.”

“No, I want to spend more time with you.”

“I’m here, I am not intending to go anywhere.” He patted your hair, rubbing his nose through your hairline, and the last thing you remembered was feeling his lips on your temple.

When you opened your eyes again, he was no longer there. You rubbed your eyes tight, trying to adjust to the light, wondering if there was any possibility that it might have been a dream, but then a sweet chuckle brought you back to reality.

Alice was standing in front of you, with the guitar resting awkwardly on her shoulders. Her eyes went from you to Thomas, as if asking him if everything was all right. You smirked lightly at her features that looked the same as Thomas's.

She started playing something, which looked incredibly bad, Thomas wrinkled his nose in an attempt not to laugh so as not to discourage her. He should have spent a lot of time helping her, and she looked like she was trying. Her lips was between her teeth as she concentrated to play her less than a minute of song was so cute that as much as you didn't understand a thing, you couldn’t help but feel proud of her.

“It’s Vent'anni,” Thomas mouthed, waving his hand in a way that would get your attention but not hers. “It’s Vent'anni.”

“Oh my god!” You opened your arms for her as she finished playing, watching you with her excited eyes. “It’s Vent'anni.”

She grinned from ear to ear, handing Thomas the guitar, and then jumping into your arms.

“Did you like this?” She asked happily, making ‘this’ sound like ‘dis’. “It’s not perfect but I’ll get better, right dad?”

“Yes, better than Damiano trying to play It!" Thomas confirmed, stroking her back as he approached you. “Good mornin’, love.” he kissed the top of your head.

“I love you,” you kissed his cheek, wishing he could feel how much you love him. “And I love you too, little one,” you mumbled, pinching Alice’s nose, which eyes was stuck on the two of you.

She laughed, her gaze still on you and Thomas. She looked like a completely different person from the night before.

“Dad said you look cute when you're tired.”

You knew that you looked tired, the day before wasn’t the best and you had barely slept. You bit the inside of your cheek, looking at Thomas who had a silly smile playing on his lips and felt your cheeks get hotter. The reason you still felt that way when he complimented you was a mystery, you liked it anyway.

“You are a gossip little thing,” Thomas joked, poking at her sides.

“No, I’m not.” She laughed, trying to run away from him flawlessly, letting him hug her as she recovered her breath.

“I love you too, both of you,” she pointed a finger at both of you. Thomas's smile was priceless, you could live in there forever. “but can we play more guitar now, please?”

You agreed and Thomas got up to sit upright, putting her between his legs. He looked at you, his face still radiant, you could easily imagine him talking about you with Alice - just like you did talk about him with her as well. He positioned her tiny hands on the guitar, guiding then with his own fingers. His gentle, patient voice teaching her things that both knew she would soon forget and he would have to repeat it all over again - and you knew Thomas would do it without a problem - was lovely to watch. Her head was resting on his chest and whenever she hit a note and heard Thomas praising her, she would turn to you and say "see mom, I did it.” And you swear that you couldn't be happier to have found the meaning of the word home in two of your favorite people in the world.

[pascalslittlebrat]

Requesting a continuation of at first sight. Begins with Pedro feeling nervous of she'd call. Maybe he sees her doing things outside like in the market or something and doesn't approach her but he is so in love now.❤️❤️. Couple of days before she calls while he is a nervous mess. She is shy.They go on a date. I don't know lots of fluff..pining. ❤️❤️

Sorry this took a while to get to dear. With your request and the want of others for another part, I give you all this. May y’all enjoy, this ended up longer than expected but i’m such a sucker for fluff and softness xo

At First Sight-Part 2

Warnings: mentions of food and wine, very mild tiny bit of language, just lots of fluff and softness

Pairing: Mobster!Pedro Pascal x reader

Rating: T

Word Count: 4664

Part 1

Taglist Masterlist

Pedro sat on his couch, a boxing match playing on his TV screen, he was barely even watching it. He kept glancing at his phone. It had been a week since he had gone to visit you and he was still waiting for your call. One hand was holding a glass of whiskey, resting on his couch’s arm rest, the other beside him, tapping the screen of his phone every few minutes to make sure he hadn’t missed any message. If anyone asked him how the match was going he wouldn’t have an answer, his mind was too busy thinking about you as he bitterly took sips from his glass.

Any time his phone would go off, his heart would immediately race, hoping it would be you. It never was. He expected a call or a maybe a text message, after all you had told him you would call him even for a no. So he had spent the week waiting, annoyed any time it was anyone that wasn’t you calling him. He knew his men were probably confused about their boss’ shitty attitude but he didn’t care. He just wanted to hear your soft voice again, to see you. Had you decided you didn’t want anything to do with him at all to the point of not even answering him? He knew you were alive and well. In his nerves and impatience, he had sent one of his men to watch you and make sure you were fine.

Pedro knew he wasn’t the ideal man, he knew his reputation, knew the rumors, the blood on his hands, and the activities he was a part of that weren’t exactly legal. What would someone as kind and sweet as you want for him? Someone like you that took care of a criminal without a doubt even when scared, that had patched him up and had worried about him, that spent your days helping different people just like you had helped him. You were an angel, so how could he expect you to fall for a demon like him.

But he couldn’t help that part of him that wanted you to, that wanted you to give him a chance. He hated how weak you made him feel, he was a mob boss after all, there was no room for weakness. Yet, you had somehow made your way into every thought of his. He spent the day thinking about you, wanting to hold you in his arms, to give you soft kisses, to make you smile to the point that your eyes would crinkle at how happy you were. He wanted to spoil you and show you everything you had him feeling. He wanted to be able to show you the person he was behind the title that made all fear him. It was driving him crazy that he might not get that chance but even then he is a man of his word, he had told you he wouldn’t bother you again.

Pedro ran a hand through his hair in frustration, he was a mob boss for christ sake, he should have more control than this. However, somehow those doe eyes, that beautiful smile, that kind heart, had brought him to his knees in a way that no enemy ever had. He had never believed in love at first sight until you had walked into that alleyway worried and ready to help him. A light in his darkness he had told you. As he downed the rest of his drink, he couldn’t help but think of just how true that was. You seemed to shine so bright when he saw you and he just wanted to be able to have that warmth and light around him always. If only you gave him the chance.

Pedro shook his hand out as he unlocked the door to his car, him and Oscar had just finished reminding the manager of one of his bars what happens when he starts thinking he could steal money from Pedro and try to play it off as a robbery. His fist would definitely be bruised but nothing he couldn’t handle. Not when he was still numbly waiting for you to still call.

He was placing his aviators on when Oscar hit his shoulder, “Hey pendejo, isn’t that your girl over there?” Oscar pointed in the direction of the farmer’s market going on across the street and Pedro couldn’t help the way his heart started racing in his chest, could it be you? Would he be getting a glimpse of you after almost two weeks of being away from you? He quickly looked over, spotting you and your hot pink scrubs at one of the baked goods booths.

Pedro couldn’t help but smile to himself as he watched you interacting with the older lady, the way you pursed your lips as you looked over all the options. You were lost in thought as you tried to decide what sweets you wanted before you laughed at something the elderly woman told you. He felt his heart melt when you smiled brightly at the elderly woman, talking to her about something enthusiastically as you waited for her to ring you up. He watched as you handed the woman money and watched as the woman shook her head trying to hand you money back as you put your hand up clearly telling her to keep the change. How he wished he could be there beside you, arm around your waist, helping her insist to the woman it was no big deal.

He heard snapping by his ear and looked away, grimacing at Oscar who was looking at him like he was an idiot. “Earth to dumbass, you going to stare at her all day? We have a meeting in an hour so if you want to go see her, can you do it now before you start drooling on your leather seat?” Oscar asked him annoyed pointing at his watch reminding him of the damn rabbit from Alice in Wonderland.

He rolled his eyes glancing back in your direction and seeing you were gone. He turned the car on, hating how he wanted to jump out and go find you, to ask you if you had made up your mind, even though the silence should have told him enough by then. “I wasn’t drooling, idiot, and she’s not my girl...she doesn’t belong in this world,” he muttered as he pulled out his park spot, trying to make himself believe his own words.

You hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Pedro, you constantly spent your evenings, twirling the card with his phone number in your hands. You asked yourself every night after work if you should call him, even if it had been two weeks. You hadn’t meant to extend this out so long, you just had gotten lost in work and extra shifts volunteering with a group that helped with medical treatment for the homeless. Not only that but you couldn’t help but constantly overthink any time you got the nerve to type his number into your phone.

You had thought giving yourself time would make you forget him, would make you stop thinking about him, that it would take away that feeling of needing to reach out because you wanted to see him again. It hadn’t though. Nothing had changed, if anything you were missing him more and more as the days went by.

So here you were again, sitting in bed trying to focus on the book in your hands as you glanced over to where you kept his business card on your night stand. You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath, telling yourself that he might be attractive, that he did want to show you who he really was behind his high title, but you couldn’t help the part of you still nervous about his job, what he did. He wouldn’t leave your mind though and you wanted to see those warm brown eyes again, to feel those soft yet dangerous hands in yours.

Especially after you had seen a white car just like his at the farmer’s market you had visited after your shift at the clinic. You remember the way your heart had started racing at the thought of him maybe being around. The way you had walked around the farmer’s market for a while hoping that if it was him that you would run into him.

The memory of how you felt ran through your head again, the way you yearned to get to know him, the way you replayed the words he had said at the clinic when he asked for a chance. I don’t know if this is what love at first sight feels like and I’m crap at feelings…but I’m not lying when I say I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind, could he have been telling the truth? Would he even be waiting on your call after this. You found it so hard to believe someone with a reputation for being as tough as him could feel such a way for you.

You reached over grabbing the card, running your thumb over the card stock before grabbing your phone and typing out his number. You press the call button before you can talk yourself out of it. You feel your phone shaking in your hand from nervousness as you hear the phone ring. You gulped thinking he wasn’t going to answer, when you heard a familiar voice gruff out “Hello?”

“Hi,” you squeaked out, eyes widening and your hand clamping over your mouth surprised at how high pitched your voice came out.

You heard Pedro chuckle on the other line, “You okay there angel?”

You pull your phone away from your ear, taking a deep breath trying to calm your nerves so you didn’t sound like an idiot, before bringing it back to your ear. “Y-yes,” you stuttered out, smooth, real smooth. You clear your throat, “How are you?”

“Surprised you called actually,” Pedro murmurs softly, “But I’m glad to hear your voice.” You smiled to yourself, you could almost hear the smile in his tone. “I...I didn’t think you’d call,” he admits and you feel a light pull out at your heart thinking about how hurt he sounds.

You run a hand through your hair nervously, “I’m sorry… I’ve been busy with work and volunteering...and I just...I thought maybe it was too late.” You felt the need to be honest with him as he was being with you, “I just… I needed to think about this...if it’s not too late for an answer.”

Pedro lets out a humorless laugh, “I can promise you it would never be too late for an answer from you angel, even if you’ve had me thinking the worst.”

You tell yourself this is the part where you’ll tell him no, where you’ll bask in his voice, enjoy the last of this conversation but cut ties with him because it’s what a sane person would do, but your voice speaks out something else completely, “Pedro...I’m scared..”

You hear him suck in a breath, worried he might hang up on you or get mad. “I know angel, but I promise, I’m more than what people think. Let me show you that and I’ll take care of you,” he tells you calmly, his voice is smooth and understanding. It makes your heart pick up speed in your chest, knowing someone like him was really wanting nothing more than a chance to prove to you who he really was.

“I...Okay..I’d like for us to go out. I’m free next weekend,” you agree, unable to keep from smiling when you hear him seem to drop his phone.

You hear Pedro curse under his breath as he picks up the phone, “Okay?..Am I hearing you right?....You’re telling me yes correct?”

“Yes, I’m telling you yes,” you can’t help but chuckle at his disbelief, certainly he couldn’t be too shocked at you.

You can hear the relief in Pedro’s voice as he tells you what time he’ll pick you up saturday, the way he says that he can’t wait to see you again, to wear something nice, and that you won’t regret giving him a chance. You can’t help but smile at his excitement and even after you hang up with him and prepare yourself for bed, you can’t help that part of you just as excited to see him, too.

When Saturday comes around, you find yourself changing out of every outfit you thought might work. You cursed yourself for being so used to scrubs that you barely remembered how to style yourself like a normal person. You finally decided on a dress and flats when you heard a knock on your door, fixing up your hair and checking to make sure your make-up looked okay in the mirror before opening the door. Your breath caught at the sight of Pedro in front of you, a warm smile came across his face as he took you in, he had a vase of roses in his hands, and he looked so handsome in his mustard yellow turtleneck and plaid jacket. His curly hair was perfectly styled and his scruff had grown out, you felt your cheeks heat up as he catches you admiring him.

He grinned at you as he took your hand in his, kissing the top of your skin, “You look even more beautiful than a I remember.”

You look away from his admiring eyes, warmth washing over your body at the compliment. You look at him under your lashes, the brown seeming to be shining bright. He hands you the roses and you smile at him, “You know how to pick beautiful flowers, thank you Pedro.”

He reaches up and caresses your cheek, you see his eyes drift to your lips and you can’t help but let yours drift to his. You can’t help but wonder if his lips would feel as soft as they look, if his mustache and beard would tickle against your skin. “Flowers are the second most beautiful thing God put on this planet after women,” he says and you giggle shaking your head.

“You know how to woo a girl don’t you,” you say softly, as you place the roses in the middle of your coffee table, watching as he leans against your door frame watching you.

He shakes his head as you walk back towards him, “Just you angel. You’re the only girl worth wooing.” He takes your hand in his and leads you out of your apartment, only letting your hand go when you lock your door. You can’t help but think of how nice your hand fits in his, how they seemed to fit like a lock to a key. He helps you into his car, closing the door for you, and you feel giddiness flow in with your nerves, most men didn’t have manners yet he was showing you more than you had seen from any man in years.

The drive to the restaurant is full of small talk, he asks you how work was and what got you into volunteering. You avoided the subject of his work, just asking him how his day had gone and if he had found his way back to your apartment okay. When you get to the restaurant he hands the valet his keys and helps you out. He takes you into a nice Brazilian steakhouse, the host immediately greeting him with a big smile and patting his shoulder before leading you both to a private room.

The man leaves telling him he would bring you both the finest wine and you look at Pedro amused. He raises an eyebrow at you, “What?”

“Well known aren’t you?” you ask watching as Pedro opens his mouth to answer only to be interrupted by a waiter bringing in the bottle of wine. You nod at the waiter in thanks as he pours you both a glass. You watch as he interacts with Pedro, a smile on the man’s face as they exchange words in what you think is Portugese. A few other people came in to talk to him, what looked like the chef, a manager, and an older man that you assumed was the owner. You watched each interaction with curiosity. You couldn’t deny you had expected them to show fear or at the least the strain of pretending to be nice for the sake of who Pedro was. Instead, you had realized everyone that came in and out of the room was warm and kind and seemed thrilled to see him.

Pedro shook hands with the older man who patted your shoulder and told you that he hopes you enjoy your time there before walking out. Pedro gives you an apologetic smile, reaching across the tablet to take your hand in his, “Sorry about that, I am a bit well known. I partially own this place. But it’s one of the best if I must say so myself.”

You giggle at him, feeling your nerves become more at ease as you take a sip of your wine and Pedro’s thumb rubs circles affectionately over your skin. “So it’s one of your business ventures. It’s nice, I like it,” you state softly, liking how excited he seemed about the restaurant.

Pedro nods, his eyebrows furrowing a bit before he looks at you, “I feel like I should explain. I’ve been coming to this restaurant for ten years, one of the best places for different steaks, it’s been in Paulo’s family for over 50 years. Things started going down hill, he had a lot of employees robbing from him, and he was on the verge of shutting down. I went into partnership with him because no place compares to here and together we were able to fix things up, get him a loyal staff, and he’s doing better than before.”

You give his hand a squeeze and he meets your eyes, you give him a gentle smile, “That was really sweet of you Pedro. I can tell all these people here adore you, none of it is faked or forced. You don’t owe me any explanation, I didn’t mean it in a bad way.”

He nods at you and smiles, “I just know what people say, that I steal businesses, make people pay me high amounts to keep their businesses where they are. While I’m not going to deny I’ve done it to some places, most of the people I work with are people that struggled like Paulo. I know what it’s like to struggle and I like to help small businesses be able to keep their heads up and get what they deserve.”

You gently pull your hand out of his and cup his face in your hands, “That’s really kind of you Pedro. I know they must all appreciate what you do. Thank you for sharing this with me, I guess it is easy for people to spread falsehoods than truths.”

Pedro sighs, a look of pain crossing his face and you wonder if you’ve said something wrong. “Not everything is a falsehood unfortunately angel,” he answers you. You have no moment to ask him to expand as a waiter and waitress come in with a plate of different cut meats and plates of vegetables and salads. You look at him with wide eyes wondering how you both would eat so much food with how full the plates were. “Have you ever been to a Brazilian steakhouse before?” he asks amused.

You shake your head and he chuckles as he hands you a plate, “Usually they come by with skewers of each meat. They’ll slice it for you in as many pieces as you’d like. I wanted privacy though so they’ve brought everything here that I thought you might like. I highly recommend the bacon wrapped filet mignon, but Paulo and his family have gotten the cooking of each steak down to a t.”

You nod, mouth practically watering at how good everything looked, you already knew before tasting that this wasn’t going to be like steaks you’ve tried before. You reach over for the plate of meat he recommended, letting him tell you what each one was as you decided what you wanted to try. You watch as he does the same, biting your lip as you think of your next words. “Can I ask what is true...about the things they say?” You ask him nervously.

He looks at you putting his fork down, you see something flash in his eyes, you can see the inner battle he was having and you regret asking. He finally sighs and nods, “I did tell you I would let you get to know me, that means knowing my good and bad.”

Pedro goes on to tell you about what made him join the mob as you both eat. The way his mother and father had struggled to keep him clothed and with food. The way that he started with small jobs that got bigger and bigger. It paid well though and he told you how they treated him and his parents like family. They always had each other’s backs. He moved his way up the rankings. The man that had been in charge had chosen him as his successor, he told you how his old boss said he thought Pedro could help pull them out of constant violence and set a hard yet fair system.

He told you about the good he did, the charities he helped donate to, the way he got involved in community affairs from the shadow, any person he ‘bought’ knew they could keep their place as long they followed his orders. You couldn’t believe the amount of things he had been a part of in the city and surrounding areas.

Pedro told you about his wrongs, he didn’t go into detail on those too much, saying they weren’t dinner appropriate. He just told you how he can’t deny most of the crimes they tried to get him in for were true. That while they used violence, it was only when needed, he couldn’t deny that most of the criminal activities were true. He told you that at the end of the day loyalty was one of the most important things and if someone wasn’t following that or if someone was threatening his family, then things had to be done.

You listened to him carefully, taking in the man in front of you as he opened himself up to you. You could tell in the way he’d pause, the way he wouldn’t meet your eyes, or the way he’d thrum his fingers on the table that he was nervous. You grabbed his hand at one point to give him reassurance and he gave you a soft smile. He told you about his parents and about his close relationship with Oscar, how he was one of the few people he truly trusted. You told him about yourself and what made you become a nurse, how you were always the shy kid, how you enjoyed reading and writing, how you almost dropped out of nursing to become an English teacher instead. Pedro hung onto every word you said, smiling and joking with you. You found it so easy to talk to him and it made your nerves start washing away. You no longer even saw him as the dangerou mob boss he was, you were seeing him as just Pedro, a normal man that had fallen into a different path of life than most.

You both sat in an easy silence after you both finished eating. Pedro was smiling at you as you shook your head laughing at something he had said. He reached over to cup your cheek, “God i love seeing you laugh. It’s one of the most beautiful sights in this world.”

You blush under his soft gaze, he was looking at you adoringly, as if you were the only girl in the world. He runs his thumb over your bottom lip softly, his eyes were focused on your lips, seeming to be in a trance. Your heart raced at his touch, feeling warmth flow through your body at his touch. His eyes met yours, his pupils were dilated and you gulped wondering if he was going to reach over the table and kiss you and god how you hoped in that moment that he would. He shakes his head, seeming to clear his thoughts before pressing a soft kiss to the palm of your hand, “Shall we get going angel?”

You nod slowly, trying not to think of how soft his lips might feel against yours. You watch him as he pulls out money waving the waiter over, knowing he was leaving more than what the meal had to cost. You can’t help but smile as you watch the waiter look at him in gratification. He shakes Pedro’s hand, thanking him greatly. Pedro tells him something you don’t catch and claps the man on the back before thanking him and standing up.

Pedro holds his hand out to you, a smile on his face, “Shall we my lady?”

“We shall,” you giggle out as you place your hand in his. He wraps his arm around your waist and you can’t help the way your body relaxes into his, feeling like you’ve belonged this close to him all along. He leads you out of the restaurant, saying goodbye to each person he encounters and you feel the admiration you have for him grow.

***

The car ride home had been one in comfortable silence. Pedro could tell you had enjoyed yourself and as he rubbed circles with his thumb over your hand as he drove, he could see you had grown more relaxed than you had been before.

As he pulls up in front of your apartment, he can’t help but deflate some, he doesn't want to leave you yet. He had enjoyed every minute with you, even when he was admitting the not so great things about him. You had taken everything in, no judgement ever coming across your face. It made him fall into you even more, he wanted more of this and he hoped you‘d let him have more time like this with you.

“Thank you for today,” you whisper softly, looking at him with your dazzling smile as you give his hand a squeeze. He wanted to memorize it, memorize you.

He smiles at you and god, he wants nothing more than to kiss you in that moment. His free hand reaches out and caresses your cheek. He watches as you lean into his touch, closing your eyes, seeming to soak him in and it pulls at his heart in a way he never thought possible. He finds himself leaning in closer to you. “I want to kiss you,” he mumbles out nervously, inches away from your lips.

You open your eyes, looking at him in surprise, eyes widening, before you smile, “I want you to kiss me.”

When his lips press against yours, it felt like your whole body tingled, feeling ignited and alive. His lips were soft and gentle, he tasted of wine and it was like you were becoming intoxicated from just him and his taste alone. It was as if time stopped around you both, your arms wrapped around his neck, trying to get as close as you could with the console in between you both. It was in that moment that you knew you couldn’t stay away, that there was more to the way you felt than just that curiosity or fear you first had. You wanted more of this, you wanted more of him and in this moment you knew, this was only the start of something extraordinary between you two.

tagging those who seemed interested in a part 2: @mothandpidgeon @criminalmind1927 @hopelesslyinlovewithkeanu @221bshrlocked

[pseudofaux]

last tipseus I asked for Ikerev dirty talk and you said you weren’t quite drunk enough to write for Sirius, so. how drunk are u now? (👀 5⭐️?)

LORD, ummmmmm. I will probably never be drunk enough, but you know what? OKAY!

here we go

(Nonny/ie I cannot tell you how much I admire your verve, the tune of your horn, your pluck. I really struggled with this because tbh I want Sirius to dirty talk me! And I’m hitting a mental wall and I think not ready to put out the specifics of that by revealing too much here. But I hope you’ll enjoy this for what it is.)

Praaaaaaaise. Instructions that are (or are followed by) teases. Wants to ruffle her feathers and be the one to smooth them. That’s ♠️Sirius Oswald♠️.

General style is to tease, tease, tease, but sweetly. He’s not trying to hurt her feelings, but a prickly little part of his brain is trying to keep her blushing (he will deny this in a Cradle Court of Law). He doesn’t use dirty dirty talk (momma raised him right), and would NEVER insult her body or call it anything harsher than “needy” which is, duh, exactly how he wants her anyway! But he does talk about what he’s seeing, and sometimes he gets a little appreciatively graphic, shall we say. When he’s complimenting her his volume dips because he feels a little shy about it. When they’re in it and he’s flushed and sweaty it becomes a little easier to be directly sweet, because he’s so turned on and he feels like he won’t get caught. Not sadly at all, his dick is so good he never gets caught. We cannot blame Alice, only live our surface lives wanting to be her.

(bury me here)

“Breathe,” he reminds her. “I’m flattered by your nerves, but I want you to be comfortable. And conscious.” When she giggles he smiles and laughs a little, too. Her eyes look at his mouth with open desire he doesn’t think she knows she’s showing.

“You want something like a kiss,” he tells her, slowly leaning close, “You have to show me how romanced you are, so I know you’re ready.”

He probably comes close to making her actually swoon a few times. Super amused by it. Not in a mean way, but... he won’t deny to himself that he loves the sweetness of her flusters, early on. He’s gratified by all her responses. When she manages to be the tiniest bit bold with him, maybe reaching for his hand under the table or pressing an innocent kiss to his face as he does paperwork?

“That’s good, little lady, that’s good.” He palms her hot cheek like the treasure it is and praises and teases her until she squeaks or squirms.

“A little forward for you, but I liked it very much.” If they’re in public he’ll ask if she’s trying to tell him she wants to go even farther. If they’re in private he’ll tell her that’s where this is going, thanks to her display. He’d be a terrible example for the rest of the army if he didn’t respond appropriately to a lady’s affection.

If she runs away, he’ll be laughing. If she stays he’ll reach for the knot of his tie and tell her to go lock the door for a few minutes.

Sirius thinks the long flirtation before consummating a relationship (and most especially the long flirtation between entering and consummating a relationship) is one of life’s greatest pleasures, and the person who gets to see how smug he is about that... is the other person in the relationship. His brain is all about speculating what could come next and how to deal with it, that’s why he’s good at his job. He likes every stage they share and revels in wherever they are currently, but he can’t help but put her mind on future possibilities or sequences whenever he sees them. It’s not a form of pressuring her, it’s a form of pleasuring them both. A fantasy he shares aloud. By teasing her with it. 

“You’re so stiff I could use you as a level,” he murmurs at her neck. He’s got her on one of the bay window seats in a quiet room of headquarters. He helped her pick up the room so he could have time to do this with her. “What can we do to relax you back into being a lady, hmm?” He dances his fingertips from the tops of her shoulders to her back, brushes of touch so light they make her skin itch for real contact. Bingo.

“Shoulder rub, maybe?” he offers.

His hands go lower, to the tall waist of her skirt. “Or a back rub?”

His hands keep moving. She’s not quite brave enough yet to stay put and see what happens. He pulls her back on the seat with him and hugs her, really rubbing her shoulders and doing it and doing it and doing it well.

“Don’t run away, please,” he says. “I can tell you’re getting shy. Do you want to stay like this instead?” Her nod against his chest makes his heart feel like it’s blooming.

“You need to use your words, then, sweetheart,” he reminds her, and he keeps rubbing her shoulders as she gets through that gauntlet.

“You’re making this so difficult, silly,” he tells her at one point. But difficulty is his. 

When they’re at the point where they are touching each other more, he’s talking more, too. She’s wiser and a bit more comfortable dishing a little heat back at him-- not the kind of heat he serves her, but her own little objections, ways to call him on what he’s doing. He loves it. Their flirting makes him feel so free and happy and in love with her.

“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought about this,” he confesses, watching her hands undo each button of her blouse. The bench at the end of his bed has never been the site of so much happiness (and of course that has him thinking about how eventually they’ll make each other happy on it. all in good time). It’s a comfortable spot to watch her progress. “You’re doing so well,” he tells her, because she is. But his voice must distract her, because her fingers slip over a pearl half-sphere and he stands up to help her.

He lets his gloved hands-- her request! brave girl-- wait in front of the swell of her chest. Her eyes are wide and pleading when they look at one another, but he only lifts a brow.

“H-help me?” she says. He kisses her forehead and helps with the buttons, surer and more careful work than taking the sides and tearing it open.

“Always so polite,” he tells her, and puts the tinest bit of teeth against her ear when he is done. As expected, her arms fly around his back. He can’t see anything she’s revealed by opening her shirt this way, but her embrace is its own reward.

“Careful manhandling me,” he whispers. “You’ll give me ideas.”

“You already have quite a few ideas, I think!” she hisses back. It makes him laugh much louder, more happy than seductive.

“You have no idea,” he tells her as he gently pushes her chin up from where it’s tucked so tightly against his chest. “Don’t hide from me and I’ll share a few of them with you.”

At first he only kisses her closed eyelids as he touches her and listens to every hitch of her breath. Then she gets too loud, and that’s when he pulls her down onto the blue velvet, uses his body to cover her dainty chemise with its lace edging and its hopeless fight against the points of her nipples, and he kisses her silly.

Eventually, of course, there’s more. Her own bed, in her own cheerful room. It smells like her in this space. Especially against all her pillows, where she’s sitting, beautifully bare, in his lap with her back to him. He likes his own bed but has to admit hers is perfect for this, soft and a little farther away from the others than his own room. She seems to feel more secure here, which is so cute he has to tease her about it by going a little more into explicit territory. They don’t get this time often, he wants to use it well.

“Eyes here, watch.” His arm is around her, the base of his palm snug against her mons , and his fingers spread her lips w i d e opening her to the air. He loves it when she sags against him that little bit more, helpless and whimpering, needing him “Ah ah,” he scolds. “Eyes, little lady. Tell me what you see, hmm?”

She sputters and he has to clench his jaw not to laugh. He’s glad she can’t see him. She’s been getting more decisive about how she will let him arrange them, so he likes to think she knew what she was getting into.

“Is there not enough to see?” he prompts. His middle finger curls to stroke her little button, and she starts making those soft puffs of breath he likes. “Ah ah,” he reminds her. “You’re still not looking. We’ll be here all night at this rate.”

“Oh no,” she huffs dramatically. “I’m sure that wasn’t your plan at all.” He laughs again and rubs the spiral she likes.

“Tell me,” he repeats, firmly now. “Or you know I’ll stop. And who knows what else I’ll do. You are very naked, you know.”

She does know, so she tries. He keeps making her describe how things look and feel until he swears he can feel the heat coming off her face from his place behind her. Her nipples have been pinched and stroked, her sweet sex has been cupped and patted and fingered in combinations that dizzy even him, and he’s the one who’s done it all.

“Good girl,” he says quietly, safe behind her and all her pillows and the headboard safe behind him. “You did well.”

She hums a questioning noise, a little too blissed out to have caught what he said in so hushed a voice.   

Instead of repeating himself, he says “I love you.” Her arms slide around his, wrapped around her tummy. She’s not far from nodding off, he knows what she’s like.

[tjlikesprettythings]

@thatwaxlion: Also, wouldn't mind to see a jealous Dani from you! No, I wouldn't mind it all. In fact, I hereby declare my prompt request.

I have answered your request, once again, I should really be working (perks of working from home) but I’m having too much fun writing these so enjoy my friend!

Prompt: Jealous Dani Dani stood beside the window of the Conrad hotel ballroom, scanning the crowd of the charity fundraiser where their suspects are expected to make an appearance. She had to wondered if ever since Bright joined the team they find themselves in these high society events more and more, as if the killers are attracted to his background.

It was no shocker that Jessica Whitly was on the guest-list of this particular fundraising event and so naturally Malcolm and herself were able to get in unnoticed, and Gil offered to escort Jessica. Dani tried to keep her smile from blooming, recalling the look on Jessica Whitly’s face when Gil appeared in his tux, the woman looked like she could use a drink, practically parched from the way her mouth fell open. She had to admit, Gil definitely filled out a tux just fine.

Jessica’s quick recovery was pointed to her next, “Dani, you look absolutely ravishing, gosh that color is fabulous on you.” As she looked her up and down, Dani’s orange full sleeve silk ensemble with the deep V cut and wrapping accent on the waist that framed her body perfectly before billowing out at the hem with a split up the middle, was not only elegant but very alluring. Her Hair was pulled up to a high ponytail completed with some statement gold pieces. She had thanked Mrs. Whitly graciously though she did find the attention a bit uncomfortable. 

What she had failed to notice in her spying of her boss and Whitly matriarch was the way Bright’s eyes swept her from head to toe, if he thought her ensemble to the Taylor wedding was something, then he wasn’t prepared for this. He swallowed the lump in his throat and a familiar burn in his stomach as he walked up to join her.

But that was the point of tonight, to stand out and appeal to their suspects. They deduced that this duo worked in a team of charming couples who targeted wealthy men and women of high society, seduced them, blackmailed them and then cleared up the loose ends by killing them.

JT ran operations from the van, opting to stay out of a ‘monkey suit’ as he put it. Keeping an eye through the security cams and listening in on their comms. She scanned the room filled with guests decked out to the nines and wait staff as they walked the room with wine glasses, champagne flutes and hors d'oeuvres. She found herself rolling her eyes, of course rich people made a party of helping the less fortunate. 

She finished her sweep only to find a very attractive brunette talking to Malcolm at the bar, she turned up her comms and listened in. 

“I haven’t seen you in one of these in a while,” She said waving to the bartender for a drink. 

Malcolm chuckled and nodded, “yeah, not really my scene. I only attend when it is absolutely necessary.”

Dani could tell they knew each other, there was a familiarity in the way she spoke to him, “I imagine Jessica is the absolutely necessary factor here.” She teased as she took a sip of her wine. “Well I’m glad that she forced your hand, I’ve been wanting to run into you again.” Dani rolled her eyes again, this woman was obviously not subtle about her motives. 

Dani knew Bright was an attractive man, pair that with the fact that he had millions to his name he would be a catch to most women, she just assumed that he kept to himself because of who he was and of course he didn’t exactly scream fuck boi bro. But She also knew that he could be incredibly charming when he wanted to be, that every time they walked down the street to get back to the precinct or to grab a coffee or tea women would appreciate his style, his features, the fact that he was both welcoming yet dangerous. 

Most of the time she didn’t think about it because she had his full undivided attention, even if he excitedly bumped into someone he’d quickly apologize and turn back to her. She didn’t realize that his attention being occupied by someone who very obviously knew him, and there was a hint of something more would make her feel...uneasy. 

She cleared her throat, to which Malcolm instantly looked in her direction and locked eyes. Shit, she forgot that he could hear her too. She pulled her brows together and scratched the back of her ear, looking away. It was JT who intervened and she decided she owed JT lunch.

“Damn, who knew Bright had game.”

This time Gil cleared his throat from where he was standing with Jessica on the other side of the room. To which JT whispered a “Sorry boss.”

Dani hid her smile behind her hand, as she pretended not to watch him and his yet to be named brunette. She didn’t know why but the way he chuckled and the way her hand reached out to brush the lapel of his jacket just annoyed Dani. Apparently personal space wasn’t a thing for this woman. 

“How is your father doing these days, Alice?” Malcolm asked focusing the subject back to small talk, the kind he detested but what could be done. 

Ah so her name was Alice, Dani scanned the room but really her eyes were focused on the profiler, what was the point of this exchange anyway, they were here to do a job, not to flirt and catch up. She didn’t know where her attitude was coming from and that added to her annoyance.

Alice shifted uncomfortable and shrugged as she pushed some of her hair behind her shoulder, “You know the usual, making sure to control every aspect of my life. He wants me to get married and settle down, I’m not good enough for the family business but I certainly can help it with an advantageous union.”

Dani just scoffed which earned her another look from Malcolm but there was something in his smile as he turned towards Alice. “How very antiquated of him, I’m sure he sees that your charms could be put to better use.”

Alice beamed at him again, eyes hooded as she took a step closer, “that’s for sure, you want to revisit how charming I can be?” She whispered close to his ear.

Malcolm smiled but his eyes were on the stand out beauty in orange across the room. He was enjoying Dani’s very apparent uneasiness in his re-acquaintance with Alice. Alice had gone to the same boarding school as him. While most kids didn’t bother with him after his father, Alice like Vijay was willing to be his friend.

“I know you can be...charming, but better be on my best behavior tonight.” Malcolm said as he took a step back from her. Alice can also be very pushy as he recalled. 

Alice just chuckled, “You have to admit, we used to have a lot of fun. Sure you don’t want to just disappear for a bit, this party is a bummer anyway...”

Dani’s mind instantly wandered to his ‘I’ve had sex, plenty of sex’ and even then she was a bit uncomfortable by his confession, now she was very uncomfortable by this whole exchange. Did this woman have no boundaries? The man said no, just leave it alone and have some self respect.

JT chimed in again, “Well damn bro…again who knew you had this much game!”

“Don't take game, if it’s being practically thrown at you,” she found herself mumbling before she realized what she was saying, to which she heard JT snicker. 

“Savage Dani…”

She cleared her throat, “can we focus on the task at hand instead of Bright’s sex life.” It was as if she lost all control of herself as she walked over to the bar, making sure that there was an extra sway to her hip when she approached them.

“Hi,” she found herself say as she stood beside Malcolm, looking innocently between Malcolm and Alice. 

Malcolm caught off guard only for a second smiled and introduced her to Alice, since she wanted to play this game, he figured why not. He didn’t much enjoy these things but this would be the exception if he could rile Dani up just a bit. “Alice, this is Dani.” He said as his hand seamlessly wrapped around Dani’s small waist, the dress she wore left both little and a lot to the imagination. He could feel the warmth of her body through the silk. 

Dani’s heart thumped, as she fell into her role, “Alice, very nice to meet you.”

Alice eyed Dani up and down and then finally she smiled, “Ah so this is the reason you are on your best behavior.” Alice didn't seem to care for decorum in this situation, behaving like a true spoiled heiress, Dani thought, this kind of behavior in the Bronx would not be tolerated even if you were a strong independent woman. 

Dani narrowed her eyes then smiled, really she felt like she had no control over her actions because the next thing she knew she was saying, “only until we get home.”

Malcolm’s eyes widened slightly as he cleared his throat, “Alice you’ll have to excuse us, I see my mother and I know she was asking for Dani earlier.”

Alice’s red lips curved up as she nodded, “well what do you know Malcolm Whitly is officially off the market, many a heart will be broken to know this. Nice meeting you Danielle.” She said as she walked away. 

Dani’s hands fisted at her side, no one called her Danielle. When she felt the gentle squeeze of his fingers on her waist as he released her, Dani suddenly came to herself. She closed her eyes and waited and on que, JT was laughing in her ear. 

“Well that’s one way to take care of that.” Gil said as he watched the whole exchange. Jessica on the other hand seemed to have enjoyed the show very much, even if she couldn’t hear anything, she got the gist of the situation. There was something so very normal and charming about women bickering over her handsome son.

Dani cleared her throat and scrunched her face, “sorry, thought this would make the point.”

Malcolm licked his lips and squinted at her, “what was the point again?” He wasn’t sure before but now he could clearly see it...she was jealous...to some extent anyway.

Dani pressed her lips together, and drew her brows in, WHAT was the point? Why was she in his business anyway. But to save face she simply shrugged, “to get back to work, you know look for the killers.” She rolled her eyes as if to say ‘duh’ but internally she was screaming with embarrassment, this is not how she behaved normally. She blamed Malcolm Bright for this.

Malcolm bit his lip to keep from laughing, he honestly was enjoying this too much, and her annoyance making his heart leap with joy, because that meant she was jealous. Something about Dani being jealous for him even if it was irrational and primitive made him feel...good. It brought to their relationship another layer, it gave him...hope.

[victorluvsalice]

I did indeed XD And had a lot of fun doing so – one of my favorite NaNoWriMo projects, back when I participated in that!

Hehehe, I see – and yeah, I like those too, as you probably guessed by the whole “Secundus” thing. XD One of my new projects, “Valicer In The Dark,” is kinda turning into one of those too, honestly – I mean, it was already pretty clusterfucky, given that I’m throwing characters from the American McGee’s Alice games and Corpse Bride into the setting of an RPG I’ve grown to love, Blades In The Dark – along with a bunch of OCs based off the coasters at the Alton Towers theme park, because I fell in love with their The Smiler coaster at the end of 2021. And, more importantly, Victor fell in love with them, so… XD But yeah, now I’m also adding in characters from Fallout 4, the Sims series, and of course Doc and Marty from BTTF. It’s going to be a very interesting world once I’m done with it.

That particular clusterfuck AU with all the world chunks thrown into a new dimension DOES sound hella complicated O.O I don’t blame you for wanting to start by drawing the map – it sounds like trying to figure out where everything is, how it all fits together, and what areas have which characters you’ll be focusing on is exactly where you want to begin! There’s a fuckton happening right from the word “go” and – yeah, I sympathize with everyone running around like chickens with their heads cut off. Except, apparently, the – inklings? *blinks* Okay, I know they’re from Splatoon, even if I don’t play that particular game, but – that was a crossover that I was not expecting. Then again, I don’t know what I’m expecting from this idea. Other than delightful, delightful chaos as various worlds and cultures and time periods collide. XD

Ooooh, interesting, interesting – I am intrigued by this. And awww, that’s – well, I’m glad she won’t be alone, but poor Sunny, sounds like he’s having it rough too. :( (And yeah, of course – Alice wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest to learn that his Headspace is different from her Wonderland. Though it would be neat if they could visit each other’s spaces and find out how they work.)

LOL, yeah, I’m not surprised they’re only hinted at at the beginning – as you said, everyone has a lot more important things to worry about than romance! Like figuring out what the hell all this new technology is and all that. XD The culture shock will be amazing! Once they’re over THAT, then we can have shipping goodness.

I join them in this ???? XD I mean, does getting randomly thrown around in time and space happen to her a lot, then? Sounds like a rough way to live...though she does seem to be magic, so is this a spell gone wrong, or… ? Questions, I have them.

I mean, this is fair – she is stuck in a time period where sanitation isn’t the best, street food should probably not be trusted, and arsenic was thought to be relatively harmless if you used it as a dye. (And I seee – LOL, well, if it’s who I think it is, he’d be happy to help her out with the local magic so she can feed herself, sure!) And LOL, hey, I would be panicking internally too! She is allowed to panic over this weird-ass situation. XD

Huh, I see… Well, to be fair, Alice can be pretty prickly too when you first meet her. I think it’s kind of a defense mechanism for her, given she’s been surrounded by such horrible, shitty people for so long. Once she realizes that Manami is genuinely a nice person, she’ll be willing to show a softer side for sure! You just need to get over that initial hurdle...and LOL, yeah, she and Victor would NOT know what to make of “floor time.” Though Alice might join her just for the hell of it. “I mean, it’s no worse than any other therapy I’ve tried.” XD

*snrrk* Yeah, that just about sums it up between Manami and Victor, huh? Victor is not used to people being all :D at him – especially not women, and especially not unmarried, unchaperoned women. Like, sure, that KIND of happened with Victoria, but – we see how that turned out for him. He might be a little intimidated by her at first as he tries to get his bearings – but give him some time and he’ll finally relax!

Oh, is she? Well, at least she’s well-prepared for dealing with Victor, then. XD (And awwww, I see, that’s cute. :) Can’t split up the soulmates! And I know very well that Victor and Alice are open to the poly, though given the time period, there might be some anxious “hang on a second, a multi-person relationship? Is this really allowed?” stuff going on first with them. But yeah, get past that, and Manami and her guy can join the Greater Valicer Polycule, no problem. :p

Oooh, nice! Something for her and Victor to bond over – well, once he stops being somewhat overwhelmed by her enthusiasm. XD But he’d like having another pianist to talk to. :D And I believe Alice would be open to learning, though she probably wouldn’t get too far while she’s still suffering from the worst of her Wonderland hallucinations. Too many mental distractions for the lessons to stick!

Speaking of the hallucinations, Cheshire’s reaction to that would be “well, if that isn’t proof you can’t actually see us” (given he’s basically just skin and bones, no fur to be found XD). But Alice would not mind having someone else help her tell off the Wonderlanders when they start bothering her! And Victor would appreciate someone else doing it as well, because sometimes he feels weird, talking to nothing. XD I also love the idea of Manami playing that song and talking about Stella the minute Bumby starts telling Victor the Land of the Dead doesn’t exist – anything to annoy the shit out of that asshole. XD (And yeah, I bet he gets mad when Manami starts actually helping them with their problems – he doesn’t actually WANT them to get better, he wants to wipe their brains so he can use them for his own ends. Because he’s a monster and fully deserved being shoved in front of that damn train. >( )

*snrrk* Because you’re the best option they’ve got for help right now, Manami! XD Though Doc probably understands the difference, but still. And yeah, that’ll be fun, I’m sure. XD Though hopefully once she realizes they DO come from a different timeline, she can relax about potential “spoilers,” because who knows how things went in the BTTF universe compared to her own? (I mean, we already know they got a much different 2015…)

*snrrrk* Yeah, that’s a great example of different-timeline culture clash there. And Marty’s just like “…” while Doc is super intrigued by this small portable computer that’s so different from all the ones he’s seen, even in the future – why, it doesn’t even come with a fax machine! XD

Venting your frustrations by forcing them on your OC, eh? I know a bit about how that goes XD Marty is like “you know, we’re not the ones who brought you here – I’m, like, 95% sure. Right Doc?” XD You’ll survive, Manami!

It’s fine, I can get really rambly when the mood strikes me too. XD But it sounds like you’ve had a lot of fun with these ideas already! Wish you all the best getting them properly off the ground!

Helo yes, I just want to say that I found your Forgotten Vows verse again, and also your Secundus verse, because of @thesatiricaldemon 's "Beneath A Broken Sky" and all I have to say is:

... how dare you both, now I have two AU fic ideas that sprouted from them because of inspiration! [Positive] (Actually three, but that one is just an afterthought)

*snrrrk* How very dare we XD But hey, I'm glad that both my fics and SatiricalDemon's have been inspiring to you! Love to know more about what percolating in your head! (And hey, don't dismiss that "afterthought" idea -- my ORIGINAL idea for an Alice: Madness Returns / Corpse Bride crossover after the release of the former was for them to meet after Alice killed Dr. Bumby and Victor had gone through both the "corpse bride" incident and its aftermath, but while I was sorting out that, I had a stray thought of "but what if Victor's parents hadn't believed him and instead sent him to Dr. Bumby to force him to forget the whole thing...and we see where THAT ended up. XD)