#i’m gawain’s biggest fan

[casreturns]

bangerrrrrr💯💯💯💯

[heisttheblackflag]

I have a genderfuckery fahc-ish au in my head and I have Strong Opinions about the names I’m gonna use in the au lol. I’ve never been the biggest fan of genderswapping names to “female” versions of names (or vice versa) so, for instance, in this au Michael is gonna stay Michael even when in “girl mode” bc I feel like trans Michael wouldn’t give a fuck about her name really. Jeremy I’m probably gonna switch periodically to Remy in “girl/fem mode” bc it’s cute and also rimmy tim adjacent; Gavin I’m still working out but might just stick with Gav in girl mode, or I’m considering using Gawain for fem mode bc even though it’s still a male name technically, it’s old enough that I think he’d use it as a way to differentiate herself but still sort of fuck with people.

[itonje]

you should listen to hnoc only if you're prepared to go into it as if all you know about arthuriana is from wikipedia and th wh*te, it's a pretty shitty adaptation (to the point where fans often make rewrites) and the fall of camelot is caused by gawain being racist, the music fucks though and it's a good time if you know nothing about med lit. also it's important to know beforehand that drumbot brian is a recurring character in the word of the mechanisms, you'll see why.

GAWAINE RACISM??? GAWAINE MACROAGGRESSION MOMENTS? marge simpson voice. look at how they massacred my boy.. 

anyways i see! i mean you know i am a king arthur blog and i’m assuming hnoc is based off of le morte because most modern adaptations are which is. sure i guess. i’m not the biggest stickler for text accuracy? so like. liberties with like plot points idrc about. but i mean. how bad are the interpretations lol. also LMAO at censoring th white supremacist, same lol. 

 also i’ve listened to one or two mechs songs but i really don’t have the full context of the story is anything in the mechs lore outside drumbot brian’s Thing really important to the story?

[starwarsnonsense]

Top 10 Most Anticipated Films of 2020

Now I’ve got my embarrassingly late ‘Best of 2019′ list out of the way, I can finally proceed to the list that’s probably more exciting - my most anticipated films of 2020!

This list excludes films that have already been screened at festivals (otherwise, stuff like Saint Maud would be here). It’s also somewhat analogous to groping about for a light switch in the dark - these lists very rarely accurately predict my ultimate favourites for the year, so it’s more of a fun speculative exercise. Hopefully this puts some intriguing-looking films on your radar for the year ahead! 

1. Dune (dir. Denis Villeneuve)

Plot: The story of Paul Atreides (Timothée Chalamet), a brilliant and gifted young man born into a great destiny beyond his understanding, who must travel to the most dangerous planet in the universe to ensure the future of his family and his people.

Why be excited? The reasons to be excited about Dune should be pretty self-evident - it’s directed by one of the greatest filmmakers working today (Villeneuve’s Incendies and Blade Runner 2049 are all-timers for me), and is based on one of the best science-fiction novels ever written. The cast -  Timothée Chalamet, Rebecca Ferguson, Oscar Isaac, Javier Bardem, Charlotte Rampling, and more - is absolutely stacked with talent. There’s every reason to believe that this will be something special, and I couldn’t be more pleased that Villeneuve is the man responsible for filling that Star Wars-shaped hole in the December release schedule.

2. Annette (dir. Leos Carax)

Plot: A stand-up comedian (Adam Driver), and his opera singer wife (Marion Cotillard), have a two-year-old daughter with a surprising gift.

Why be excited? You may not have heard of him, but Leos Carax is one of the most exciting directors working - he only makes around one film a decade, but the films he does make tend to be very special. I’ve only seen one film of his - Lovers on the Bridge - but that was filled with such ecstatic romance and wondrous visuals that it made me tremendously excited for Annette. Annette is a top-to-bottom musical with songs by American duo Sparks (if you know them for anything, it will be ‘This Town Ain’t Big Enough for the Both of Us’), and said songs will be delivered by Adam Driver and Marion Cotillard. It goes without saying that both actors are extremely talented performers with great voices (see Driver in Marriage Story and Cotillard in Nine for evidence), and I’m looking forward to seeing how they demonstrate their talents here.

3. Last Night in Solo (dir. Edgar Wright)

Plot: A young girl (Thomasin McKenzie), passionate in fashion design, is mysteriously able to enter the 1960s where she encounters her idol, a dazzling wannabe singer (Anya Taylor-Joy). But 1960s London is not what it seems, and time seems to fall apart with shady consequences.

Why be excited? I’m not the biggest Edgar Wright fan, but I admire him greatly and the premise of Last Night in Soho is like cat-nip to me. Speaking to Empire, Wright explained the story as follows: “I’m taking a premise whereby you have a character who, in a sort of abstract way, gets to travel in time. And the reality of the decade is maybe not what she imagines. It has an element of ‘be careful what you wish for’.” I’m a sucker for a good, old-fashioned high concept, especially when said films play with genre and really challenge the viewer. The two female leads - Thomasin McKenzie (JoJo Rabbit, Leave No Trace) and Anya Taylor-Joy (The Witch, Emma) - are among the very best young actors working today, and the supporting cast features absolute legends such as Diana Rigg and Terence Stamp. Whether it’s successful or not, this film feels like a genuinely original prospect and I’m eager to see how it turns out.

4. The Green Knight (dir. David Lowery)

Plot: A fantasy re-telling of the medieval tale of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight.

Why be excited? There has been a sad lack of films based on mythology in recent years - or, to be more accurate, there has been a sad lack of films that attempt to honour what the myths were actually trying to convey. The stunning trailer for Green Knight promises a film that genuinely engages with its source material, and is just as interested in the psychological truths of the tale as the spectacle of its fantastical scenarios. Dev Patel is an extremely talented actor coming off another great movie in The Personal History of David Copperfield, and the supporting cast (Alicia Vikander!) appear to be fully committed to their parts. I’m excited to see a true myth on the big screen again, and David Lowery (A Ghost Story, The Old Man & The Gun) can be trusted to give an old tale a new sense of vitality. 

5. The French Dispatch (dir. Wes Anderson)

Plot: The staff of a European publication decides to publish a memorial edition highlighting the three best stories from the last decade: an artist sentenced to life imprisonment, student riots, and a kidnapping resolved by a chef.

Why be excited? It’s a Wes Anderson movie! Of course I’m excited! In all seriousness, the trailer was all I needed to get hyped about this. It’s clearly Anderson’s quintessential style, but it also shows flashes of some very bold and striking compositions (yes, I’m thinking of Chalamet on the back of that motorcycle) that you wouldn’t necessarily think of in relation to him. I’m intrigued by the prospect of there being stories nested within a story, which feels like the perfect choice for the structure of a film about a newspaper. The cast features all of Anderson’s old favourites (Swinton! Murray! McDormand!), as well as some exciting new additions (Timothée Chalamet, Elisabeth Moss, Christoph Waltz, among others) that feel so well-suited to his style it’s surprising they haven’t worked together before. Bring on all those immaculately composed shots and exquisite colour palettes.

6. Tenet (dir. Christopher Nolan)

Plot: Unknown. The project is described as an action epic revolving around international espionage.

Why be excited? I hate to sound repetitive, but ... it’s a Christopher Nolan movie. That alone is enough to be hyped about this. Details of the plot are vague for now, but the teaser suggests the sort of intelligent, high-concept film-making we’ve come to expect from Nolan. John David Washington - who impressed in BlacKkKlansman - is a great choice for the lead, and I also love that Tenet will feature Robert Pattinson and Elizabeth Debicki (among my favourite actors) in prominent roles. There’s not much else to say given how little we know about this, but suffice to say I’ll be there on day one!

7. Wonder Woman 1984 (dir. Patty Jenkins)

Plot: Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) comes into conflict with the Soviet Union during the Cold War in the 1980s and finds a formidable foe by the name of the Cheetah (Kristen Wiig).

Why be excited? The original Wonder Woman was an absolute delight, and I couldn’t be more pleased that Patty Jenkins is back to continue Diana’s story. The decision to pick up with Diana in the 1980s is most intriguing (and paves the way for all kinds of exciting choices when it comes to the music and the fashions), especially since it looks like the film is actually going to explore the implications of being an immortal being in a mortal world. 

8. Raya and the Last Dragon (dir. Paul Briggs and Dean Wellins)

Plot: A lone warrior from the fantasy kingdom of Kumandra teams up with a crew of misfits in her quest to find the Last Dragon and bring light and unity back to their world.

Why be excited? The animation scene in 2020 looks kind of ... blah at the moment, with the notable exception of Raya and the Last Dragon. The setting was described by the film’s producer as  "a reimagined Earth inhabited by an ancient civilization that venerated the mythical dragons for their power and their wisdom”, and that alone is enough to fire up my imagination. Off the back of Moana and the Frozen films (which I all unabashedly love), I trust Disney Animation to instil this with plenty of colour and verve.

9. I’m Thinking of Ending Things (dir. Charlie Kaufman)

Plot: An unexpected detour turns a couple’s road trip into a terrifying journey through their fragile psyches.

Why be excited? Directed by Charlie Kaufman (writer of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind), I’m Thinking of Ending Things is based on a prize-winning novel. However, despite the pedigree the main reason I’m looking forward to this is Jessie Buckley. Buckley gave a star-making performance in Beast a few years ago, and has since proven herself an actor of immense talent and skill (see Wild Rose for proof of what a powerhouse she is). I’m excited to see her career continue to go from strength to strength, and I’m Thinking of Ending Things seems poised to be a great showcase for her.

10. The Last Duel (dir. Ridley Scott)

Plot: King Charles VI declares that Knight Jean de Carrouges (Matt Damon) settle his dispute with his squire (Adam Driver) by challenging him to a duel.

Why be excited? Ridley Scott is a bit of a mixed bag for me, and has never come close to reaching the heights of Alien and Blade Runner with his recent work. Nonetheless, against my better judgement I can’t help but be excited by the prospect of a medieval epic with Scott at the helm. The acting talent attached to The Last Duel is top-notch, and I’m particularly fond of Jodie Comer (of Killing Eve fame) and Adam Driver (do you really need me to say more?). There’s a very real danger of the highly sensitive plot (the ‘dispute’ at the heart of the story concerns an accusation of rape, the truth of which is to be determined with a duel) being mishandled by Scott, but the involvement of screenwriter Nicole Holofcener gives me some hope. This could turn out to be a misfire, but my hope is that it will, at the very least, be interesting.

[povestotrischane]

oh no oh god it'd be so fuckin awkward if gawain and lancelot were actually related. as if arthurian lit needs more incest </3

I KNOW i'm pretty sure it's bc there used to be this Thing a few months ago in the mechs fandom where everyone was starting to realize galahad was lancelot's son in the original and being kinda disappointed they never met, and shortly afterwards there was another thing of ppl realizing "huh. gawain's characterization is awful and doesn't make sense here" (not wrong but it was heavily based on his sgatgk characterization, i may be partially responsible for this one i was probably the biggest hnoc-specific fan at the time (which is. not saying much) it happened and i had just read sgatgk but also i Don't have that much influence) but the two kinda overlapped a little so i guess they probably got mixed up but oh god is it a bad take that makes me want to actually step in

[fgodestinyawakenings]

Is it just me, or is fandom hate of Galahad and Lancelot just comes off as... kind of one sided? Like obviously both of them have done some questionable/awful things, but lancelot is a r*pe victim/someone who's constantly exploited for his guilt and galahad is a literal child martyr.

I’m going to put everything under the cut, so you’ve been warned before anyone decided to set fire to my inbox

Lancelot is because of a double standard mindset from the fandom, where they enjoy seeing Mash shitting on him for being a horrible dad, and him the biggest asshole killing cinnamon roll/adorable imouto/waifu Gareth who adores and admires him very much. And also doesn’t help with the writers constantly flanderizing Lancelot’s NTR love than his actual good personality where he’s constantly in guilt for killing his fellow knights, betraying his King and best friend

Gareth’s case apparently is complete idiocy as for me, both side are at fault and a very tragic story. She is loyal to both Artoria and Lancelot that becomes the biggest downfall for her. Lancelot already went mad upon hearing Guinevere’s execution and crushed Gareth, unarmed and unarmored, due to being blind to said madness. I think Camelot Zero or along the lines in Summer he already remembers what he did to her in their historical lore and feels extreme guilt especially as he treats like his own daughter

And of course everyone is double standard on Lancelot’s case of being a rape victim by Elaine that ended up giving birth to his son, Galahad. While it’s also partly inexcusable for cheating behind his king and best friend to sleep with said wife, it’s also not a reason he got tricked and/or drugged to sleep with someone with he doesn’t love, and also ended up bearing responsibility of the said child

I’ve typed this in an ask before, but let’s put him in a genderbend woman version. If Female!Lancelot gets verbally abuse by said daughter/son of how much a terrible mother she is, drugged to sleep with someone she doesn’t love and bore said son due to a certain prophecy, will SJW kick in to say she deserve it or protect her because Lancelot is now genderbend as a woman?

Galahad is debatable because I still haven’t found his original lore history. Some fans mention how even the original Galahad was an exceptional jerk and asshole that no one in the Knight of the Round Table likes him, and Gawain hates him very much in particular. And also, he’s also known to be Pure Sue due to how he’s supposedly to be a knight with no flaws and evil in order to bring said grail back to God

And... Current Main Story line, it’s not making him likable too. He only appears:

To give mash his power and complete Fuyuki Singularity without any reason as to why. Which at first presumably is because it was their job.

Appears second time to upgrade Mash’s power and then appear to give the most useless information and abuse how his father is a deadbeat asshole

Proceeds to withdraw the powers he give to Mash, and when revealed why. He said it’s because all of it was Gudas’ fault for killing Goetia and starting Lostbelt. Which... Err, I’m sorry but WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? How are WE supposed to know killing Goetia was a huge mistake? Hell it’s been repeated as key point that 2018 onwards future is in complete unknown state, NO ONE and NOT EVEN SHEBA sees what happen far from there, that leads to Alien God descendant

Then also proceeds to tell Gudas to take responsibility of their job because he DIDN’T FUCKING COMMUNICATE except to be the most useless and self-centered flawless asshole who thinks everything is people’s problem except himself

Also knowing he could do something to protect Mash from further experiments and asshole Beryl, BUT NOPE, choose to stay behind mope in the shadows to complain about everything

At this point considering how’s he still resisting to obey Gudas, I might as well assume unless he has a good reason, he’s just practically Chaldea’s enemy and siding with Alien God to kill them

So majority of the fandom would like to queue up to beat the shit out of his purity and wake the fuck up in actually communicating instead of assuming everyone in his head. And also stop shitting on your father just because you’re also happen to be an insecure dickhead that everyone prefers your father over you.

[modreduscycle]

Green Knight Pt. 4

“I’ll see you both before sunset!” Bertilak bade, leaning down to kiss his wife goodbye. Once their lips parted, the lord grabbed Gawain’s hand and kissed it. “And I have not forgotten our game.”

Oh dear sweet lord. Adultery is bad, adultery is bad, and would probably not be made better by committing it with both parties in a marriage. Besides, Bertilak was just being polite and chivalrous. He meant nothing by it. Gawain forced a smile. “Neither have I, although I still don’t think I’ll have anything to give you.”

“We’ll see! Farewell!” With a loud bang and a rush of cold air, the door slammed shut behind him and Gawain was left alone with Ragnelle.

He felt a tap on his shoulder and glanced over to see Ragnelle smiling at him. “Come with me, there’s something I’d like to show you.”

She took his hand and led him into another room of the castle. Inside, the walls were covered with paintings and the furniture was covered in thick furs, many of which were splattered with paint. Easels stood up around the room, canvases upon many of them. There was a shelf in the corner with more canvases, these blank, along with jars of paint. There were also several potted plants, healthy, green, and some in full bloom despite being midwinter. Now that he thought about it, the castle seemed to have as many plants as furs, and they had a lot of furs decorating the place. Even Ragnelle herself always had flowers in her hair.

Ragnelle rubbed the back of her neck. “What do you think?”

“It’s amazing, you paint in here?” Gawain asked.

“Obviously. Bertilak sometimes joins me, but I think he gets embarrassed a bit. He doesn’t have as much practice as I do, so there’s a difference in skill,” Ragnelle explained, sinking into a fur-covered couch in front of two easels. Gawain noticed the canvases on them were both blank. Ragnelle picked up a brush and held it between her fingers like a pen. She cast him an alluring look. “Would you like to try your hand at a brush?”

“I haven’t really painted before,” Gawain muttered, trying to fight a blush.

“Then I can teach you, come here,” she bid. He sat down next to her and she angled the nearest easel toward him. “What do you want to paint?”

“I don’t know… Gringolet, maybe?” he suggested, picking up the brush and dipping it into paint.

“Who’s that?” asked Ragnelle.

“Oh, that’s my horse’s name. The one I rode in on.”

“Oh! Him!” Her eyes brightened in sudden understanding. “He’s a nice horse, I went down to the stables to visit him last night. He’s very spirited.”

“Right?” Gawain exclaimed. “Everyone else seems to think he’s a monster or something.”

“I mean, he was trying to bite the stablehand when I walked in, so I do see where they’re coming from,” Ragnelle admitted. She grabbed his hand and helped guide his strokes, sidling closer to him in the process.

“He’s just not a huge fan of men, myself excluded,” Gawain explained. “He has good reason to be, too.” His eyes narrowed. “I almost killed his previous owner because of how he treated him. Gaheris had to stop me.”

“Abusive son of a bitch?” Ragnelle asked. He could feel her hot breath on his neck.

“Yeah. I had to nurse him back to health for months before he was even fit to ride for a short period of time. It took a long time to get him to eat anything other than apples.”

Gawain felt Ragnelle’s hand tighten around his wrist. “Almost wish you did kill his previous owner, or at least caused serious injury.”

“Well… I did sort of hit him…” Gawain muttered. “Gaheris described it as me, ‘bitch-slapping him with my shield.’ He flew about three feet and slammed into the wall. Didn’t put up much of a fight about me taking his horse.”

“Wonder why,” Ragnelle quipped. She fell silent. “I know what it’s like for someone to hurt you like that, but I never had anyone like you to come and save me.”

Gawain stared at her with wide eyes. “Is it Bertilak or…?” He thought he was a pretty good judge of character, and her husband certainly hadn’t set off any alarms, but if he laid a hand on her, they were having words.

“No, no, no, no, no!” Ragnelle quickly denied. “Bertilak has never been anything but kind. I’m not even certain he has it in him to hurt anyone outside of a fight.” She sighed and looked away. “I just didn’t have a great family.”

Gawain bit his lip. “My mother’s pretty awful, too.”

“What’d she do?” Ragnelle asked.

“I know I don’t know everything, but…” He wondered how much he should say. Accusing a queen of such things, regardless of circumstance, was a bit scandalous and probably not something a knight should do, but on the other hand, she was his mother. “Well, my youngest brother was born because she raped someone, just to give you a general picture of the kind of person she is.”

“Oh, wow.” Ragnelle’s eyes widened.

“She always made it perfectly clear her opinions on my siblings and I range from indifference to outright hatred,” Gawain muttered. “She threatened to murder my youngest brother if my aunt didn’t take him and I’m not certain, but I’m pretty sure she physically abused one of my other brothers but he clams up everytime I try to ask.”

“My mother is perhaps the only family member who I maybe could stand,” Ragnelle explained. Her brush strokes became furious and harsh. “I say ‘maybe’ because she disappeared when I was a baby. My father remarried and my stepmother is the the biggest bitch I’ve ever known. My half-brother’s a son of a bitch, and that’s an insult against both of them. My father either did nothing or was on their side.” She wrapped her fingers around a strand of hair with several blue flowers in it, even more than there had been a few minutes ago.

“That’s awful…” Gawain muttered. He grabbed her hand and squeezed. “They’re awful.”

She smiled over at him. “Yeah, took me a good portion of my life to fully realize it wasn’t me. When I did, I stuck around one more year before running away. I was sixteen.”

“That’s about how old I was when I left for Camelot,” Gawain replied. There was an awkward moment of silence. “So which one of your parents were fey?”

“Huh?” She jerked around and looked at him with eyes wide.

“Your flowers,” Gawain pointed to his own hair. “It’s a trait of nature fey, right? Plants growing in your hair.”

She stared at him for a few more seconds. “...both of them, actually. My stepmother is human, though.”

“I’m only a… I think it’s sixteenth myself? My grandfather was a fourth light fey,” Gawain mused. “So basically it’s barely worth mentioning.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard, I just didn’t know you were still familiar with the fey,” Ragnelle replied.

“My aunt is Morgana le Fay and I live in Camelot, how could I not be— wait, where did you hear that?” he asked suspiciously.

Her eyes widened, like she’d been caught at something. “I… well, you’re not exactly an unknown knight, Sir Gawain of Orkney.”

“So my reputation proceeds me,” he muttered.

“Parts of it, yes, but reputations and people are two different things. Just take it for granted that I might know a few more things about you than you do about me,” she explained.

“Being in the limelight sucks,” mumbled Gawain.

Ragnelle sighed and wrapped her arm around his neck, making eye contact. “I’m sure it does, but you know what?”

“W- what?”

“You’re so much better in person than any stories of your heroic deeds could ever make you out to be.” Before he even realized what was happening, she closed the short distance between them and kissed him. He couldn’t stop himself before he kissed back.

She was the first to pull away, smiling shyly afterward. Gawain knew his face was beet red, and he was trying to quell both the smile on his face and the giddiness he was feeling. “That… that shouldn’t have happened.”

“It’s fine, Gawain.”

“No, you’re a married woman and I—”

“Don’t want to commit adultery, I understand.”

“I… oh God, do I tell Bertilak?”

“You can, he’ll understand.”

“Will he?!”

Ragnelle rolled her eyes. “Yes.”

He stared at her. “Really?”

With a sigh, Ragnelle pushed a strand of red hair out of her face. “I know my husband better than you do. Trust me, he would not have a problem if we did it right here on the couch.”

“I feel like you’re screwing with me. Also, no!” Gawain added, objecting to the suggestion. He ran his fingers through his hair. “What do I do?”

She glanced over at him. “You know, you got that kiss.”

“I noticed that, what do you…” His eyes widened. “Wait… are you telling me to…”

“It’s a good way to tell him,” Ragnelle replied with a grin.

“It’s also a good way to get stabbed.”

“He won’t stab you.”

Gawain fell silent and thought for a moment. “Well, I’ll be dead soon anyway, what’s a few days earlier?”

“That’s not the spirit, but I’ll take it.”

They spent the rest of the day painting. Gawain’s didn’t turn out great, even with Ragnelle’s help, but he was proud of it. Ragnelle argued since he made it and didn’t receive it that it didn’t count by the rules of the bet, but he still gave it to her as a gift. After all, what use did he have for it?

When Bertilak arrived back, Gawain internally screamed while the large man took his coat and armor off. This was a bad idea, all previous experience told him this was a very, very bad idea. But it also tempted him, and he made a promise…

His thoughts were broken off when Bertilak clapped his shoulder and pointed to the game, laid out on a table. “That’s all yours. Is there any you want the cooks to serve for dinner tonight?”

“U- um, the boar looks pretty good,” Gawain stuttered, a little distracted.

“Excellent!” Bertilak boomed. “I thought so too! Now, do you have anything for me?”

“Actually, yes,” Gawain admitted. Before he could change his mind or lose his nerve, he got up on his tiptoes and pulled Bertilak into a deep kiss. The man really had a nice beard, he had to admit. It wasn’t scratchy, just soft and fluffy. If it wasn’t for the fact that this was bordering on adultery, he would have kept going but instead he broke away after a few seconds. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ragnelle hiding a smile while Bertilak looked pleasantly surprised.

“...and I thought I got the better catch today,” he muttered. “You are a very good kisser.”

“I’ve had some practice,” Gawain muttered.

“I’m sure you have,” Bertilak agreed, blushing. “Oh, and I know we can’t exactly request things from the other person, but if you’d like to get that again tomorrow from wherever you received it, I’d be most grateful.”

…there was no way they were both flirting with him. No way. He was either in heaven or hell right now and he didn’t know which one.

[lizziestudieshistory]

Books of 2020 - April

April was a strange reading month for me, on the one hand I read 10 books which is double my average 5-6 books a month! On the other I completely failed to read my OWLs Magical Readathon tbr... I did manage to read books that worked for the prompts but they weren’t the books I meant to read. Oops!

(Once again I haven’t proof read this and I’ll just apologise in advance for any mistakes, I’m lazy...)

OWLS Magical Reathon: Hogwarts Professor (what subject I specialise in will depend on the NEWTS...)

Wyrd Sisters - Terry Pratchett (Discworld #6, Witches #1)

OWLS: History of Magic

I loved reading Wyrd Sisters, it was so much fun! Pratchett retold Shakespeare’s Macbeth from the witches view point, but with his usual satirical twist. Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg, and Magrat Garlick shine through the narrative, offering a no nonsense, ridiculous, and lovable take on witchcraft (or headology) as worked to protect Lancre from Duke and Duchess Felmet after they assassinated King Verence.

The Shakespeare references, puns, and reworkings in this book was sublime! I had a great time picking them out and watching as the acting company performed the most ridiculous versions of Shakespeare’s greatest works. I adored the witches - which was a bit surprising. I’d gone into this thinking I’d dislike the Witches sub-series after reading Equal Rites a couple of years ago (to this day it is my least favourite Discworld book...) However, Granny Weatherwax is a very different character here and the story is so separate from the narrative in Equal Rites that I refuse to see this book as the second installment in the Wtiches sub-series. I’d highly recommed reading Wyrd Sisters, and it would be a fantastic place to start with Pratchett if you like retellings and/or Shakespeare!

Sir Gawain and the Green Knight - Anon, trans. by J.R.R. Tolkien

OWLS: Potions

I enjoyed this translation of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, Tolkien’s style and tone suits this style of poetry (would you call it epic? It’s more of a romance...) Tolkien brought the story in Sir Gawain to life for me, in a way I’ve never experienced in other versions I’ve read. I fell in love with this simple tale from Arthurian Legend, which I’ve never done before... It’s beautiful, simple, and captivating. I would highly recommend reading this edition if you’re interested in Sir Gawain. 

The Last Hero - Terry Pratchett (Discworld #27, Rincewind and the Wizards #7)

OWLs: Astronomy

This is a book of two halves for me. The story itself is a bit too simple for my tastes... We see Cohen the Barbarian (the only Discworld character I actually hate) heading towards the Hub to return fire to the gods, however, Ankh-Morpork sends a party afte him to prevent him from destroying the Disc. This party was hilarious: Rincewind, the Librarian, Leonard of Quirrm, and Captain Carrot Ironfounderson all confined to a tiny ‘spaceship’... This was not a combination of characters I ever expected to see and their personalities, particularly Carrot and Rincewind, created several spectacularly ridiculous moments I loved! But the plot itself wasn’t great, I was expecting a bit more from Pratchett at this stage in in the Discworld.

However, the artwork in this book was stunning! It worked so well to elevate the story, I couldn’t help but love it... If the artwork hadn’t been included this book would have been a lot weaker... It’s hard to rate the book because of this, but I did really enjoy it (and hopefully this will be the last time I have to read about Cohen the Barbarian and the Silver Horde.) Also, look up Rincewind as The Scream, it’s brilliant!

We Should All Be Feminists - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

OWLs: Arithmancy

I usually don’t read essays for pleasure, nonfiction has been relegated to academic pursuits for the last 5ish years... Yet, this classic (I’m calling it a classic, everyone should read it) essay from Adichie was incredibly powerful. It emphasised the importance of feminism to non-western/European women and highlighted how important and beneficial feminism is for everyone. It’s a really important piece for people to read and I’d highly recommend finding the audiobook, or a reading, done by Adichie as her passion for the subject shines through her words.

Beren and Luthien - J.R.R. Tolkien (Middle Earth)

OWLs: Transfiguration

I ADORED Beren and Luthien, it was the best book I’ve read all month. I was expecting to dislike this book because of it’s formatting. It’s told through several fragmentary versions of Beren’ and Luthien’s romance that at Tolkien wrote throughout his life. Christopher Tolkien edited together 5 or 6 (maybe?) manuscripts along with his own commentary, introduction, and parts of the Earendil story to give us a fleshed out picture of Tolkien’s greatest romance. Unlike The Fall of Gondolin, which I read earlier this year, the format worked beautifully for Beren and Luthien, probably because the different versions that have survived were incredibly different and more complete.

I was feeling a bit so-so about this collection until we started seeing the Lay of Leithian (sp?) woven in between a few prose versions of the tale. The verse in the Lay of Leithian was gorgeous, it was beautiful, etherial, and passionate. I actually cried reading a few sections from it, such as the end of Felagund’s part in the tale. It was such a shame Tolkien never finished the Lay as it probably would have been his best work within the Middle Earth legend. It was captivating and the poetry suited the tone and style of Beren and Luthien’s story. The verse would have made the final acts of Luthien in the Halls of Mados exquisite, poignant, and heartbreakingly tragic.

I cannot love this book more - it might be my favourite in Middle Earth, knocking The Silmarillion off the top spot... But, I wouldn’t necessarily recommend this book for everyone. If you’re a Tolkien fanatic then I’d consider this a must read, it contains Tolkien’s most beautiful writing along with his most tragic romance! If you’re only mildly interested in Middle Earth then I don’t think you’re going to enjoy it.

The Children of Earth and Sky - Guy Gavriel Kay

OWLs: Charms

The Children of Earth and Sky was an incredibly read, it’s a powerful but understated historical fantasy set in a world based on (I presume) renaissance Italy and the Ottoman Empire at its height. There’s not a vast amount of story here, however, the character work, world building, and thematic discussion around history, religion, the ability of an individual to change the fate of nations, corruption of power, and so much more, was stunning. It was a beautiful study of characters and cultures, which was complimented by Kay’s sumptuous writing style. This was a gorgeous read! 

My biggest criticism is for the romances, Kay had 4 main characters - two men and two women - and rather predictably they ended up in relationships by the end of the novel... The relationship between Danica and Marin did make more sense to me by the end of the book than the relationship between Leonora and Pero. However, both were a bit instalove-y and could have done with more development.

Nevertheless, I’d highly recommend this book! It would be an excellent read for people who aren’t fantasy fans as the fantastical elements are minor. The focus is on the historical influences, themes, and character development. It’s an excellent standalone fantasy book and I’m excited to read more of Kay’s work in the future.

The Merchant of Venice - William Shakespeare

OWLs: Divination

Most of what I could say about The Merchant of Venice has already been said before. Shakespeare’s portrayal of Shylock is incredibly problematic (I haven’t got the time or energy to go into why, but there are literally thousands of books, essays and blogposts about this, go forth and read if you want more details), the relationship between Portia and Bassanio makes NO sense, and I cannot believe that ending means anyone is going to be happy...

However, this play has a certain charm that I loved. I couldn’t help but like the relationship between Antonio and Bassanio, Portia and Nerissa are darlings, and I had fun reading the wacky plotline and (yet more) crossdressing shenanigans going on in here! I think most of my enjoyment came from the RSC version I watch alongside the play (currently availbale on Marquee TV). Either way, I’m happy to have read the play AT LAST and be one play closer to my goal of reading every Shakespeare play!

Assassin’s Apprentice - Robin Hobb (Farseer #1, Realm of the Elderlings #1)

OWLs: Defence Against the Dark Arts

We all know how I feel about Robin Hobb and the Realm of the Elderlings. I adore this world, Fitz and the Fool are (probably) the best written characters in fantasy and two of my all time favourites! I reread this for the Elderlingalong (that I somehow missed...), which gave me the perfect excuse to pick up the new 25th Anniversary edition with the GORGEOUS illustrations from Magali Villeneuve. I had a wonderful time rereading this and if you’re a fan of Hobb and you haven’t seen the work this book already you MUST get your hands on it ASAP. 

Non-OWLs books

The Gathering Storm - Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson (Wheel of Time #12)

I wrote WAY to much to include it on this long list of books... I’ll post my thoughts on The Gathering Storm separately. 

Conclusion of my ramblings: I really liked it, there were flaws in Sanderson’s writing and treatment of some characters (Mat in particular), however, it was a really good installment in the series! Sanderson really impressed me and I’m slightly nervous and very excited to read the last two books in the series!

The Fellowship of the Ring - J.R.R. Tolkien (Lord of the Rings #1)

I’ve already put up a lot of my thoughts on my latest read of The Fellowship of the Ring here. I really loved rereading this book (as I always do), I had a lot of new thoughts, and I gained a new appreciation of Boromir and Tolkien’s poetry. My annotation reread will continue in the near future with The Two Towers - I just need to clear a few urgent reads off my shelves first!

Currently Reading

Nevermore: The Trials of Morrigan Crow - Jessica Townsend

Buddy read book! I’ve actually finished this at time of posting but I’m trying to give an accurate view of my April reading!

The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet - Becky Chambers

I was supposed to read this for Arithmancy, but I didn’t get round to it... I’ve also finished this one early this month.

Words of Radiance - Brandon Sanderson

Another buddy read with @towerofleeza​! We’re not the best at reading this at the same time (sorry dear!) but I think we’re both loving it, I certainly am!

Witches Abroad - Terry Pratchett

I couldn’t help myself I needed more of the Witches! I’ve also finished this one at time of posting this and enjoyed it.

[ladyknightleyisundercover]

can you please do harry's reaction to ginny being hurt at work? or the other way around? thanks so much, i love your writing!

this is, as ever, utter nonsense and i started it last summer when there was actually a summer in the uk, so sorry sorry for the ridiculous delay and thank you for the prompt and kind words :) ((also, emily, i wrote this with you in mind as the only person who could enjoy christmas in june as much as me)) AO3

It was the longest spell of genuinely hot weather Harry could remember for a long time. Day after day after day of unbroken, blazing sunshine followed by hot, sultry nights. It was fantastic, the kind of once-in-a-generation British summer you heard about but didn’t really believe actually happened. It had also coincided with the quietest part of Ginny’s year: July was between the end of the old Quidditch season, and when training started up for the new season, so she hardly went into work, and, by sheer luck, things were as quiet as they ever got in the Auror Department, too. He’d mentioned this to Ginny the other day, while firing up the barbecue for the eighth day in a row. “Too hot for crimes,” she’d responded, fanning herself with a copy of Witch Weekly.

He was glad. The quietness, combined with the lovely weather, meant that even Gawain Robards was happy for his staff to work at home, as long as they were on call in an emergency. So far, the only emergency Harry had had to contend with had been when they’d headed over to the recently reopened Fortescue’s ice cream parlour only to find out they’d run out of their new Treacle Tart sundae.

Apart from such traumas, he and Ginny had been having a brilliant couple of weeks with each other and with the weather—amazingly—set to hold, he saw no reason for this not to continue. They’d taken Teddy to the seaside a couple of times, but had spent most of the rest of their time at home, just enjoying summer in the city and being together. It was bliss.

Unfortunately, the nice weather meant that he had really been letting his paperwork slip. Realising he had an overdue and extremely important report due that afternoon, Harry had announced his intention to Ginny that he needed to knuckle down before lunch, but that he’d be free later if she wanted to do something. She’d replied vaguely that she, too, had things to do this morning, so he’d very dutifully shut himself in his study with a glass of ice cold lemonade. All had been going well, until a sudden loud crash, accompanied by much swearing, made him pause. “Everything okay?” he called, sticking his head out of the door and calling up the stairs.

“All good!” Ginny’s voice floated down to him, so he returned to work. Except, a second later, he heard, quite distinctly, jingle bells.

Probably just Ginny shifting a few things around upstairs, he reasoned. She’d mentioned the attic, where they kept the Christmas decorations. She must be looking for the other sun lounger which they’d been meaning to dig out for days.

The jingle bells persisted. And then...surely not? That couldn’t be the Celestina Warbeck Christmas Album? Surely not?

But Harry recognised the wailing, and, when it continued, decided to investigate.

“Oh, hello,” Ginny said, beaming at him as he entered the spare bedroom. “Come to get in the mood, too?” This alone would have been ridiculous enough; the fact that she was wearing a reindeer hairband (complete with strap-on bright red nose), tinsel in an assortment of colours draped around her like a several scarves and an absolutely enormous Christmas jumper, left him all but speechless.

The jumper wasn’t even one of the nice, normal ones Mrs Weasley made for the family every year, it was an oversized novelty one which came with a light up Christmas tree and the slogan ‘you’re TREEmendous’ on the front. It was, in short, hideous. He remembered telling her this when she’d bought it, last November. Never one to shy away from the festive season—Ginny was the biggest Christmas person he knew, and would probably have started singing Christmas songs and putting up decorations at the end of September, if he’d let her—she’d immediately purchased it and worn it nearly every day until New Year’s. Though Harry had since completely forgotten about it. Ginny, it appeared, had not. But that still did not explain why she was wearing it in July, in the middle of the hottest, longest heatwave they’d enjoyed in years.

“Promo day!” she exclaimed now, when prompted. Harry frowned in further confusion. “We’re shooting all the new season promotional material for the Harpies tomorrow,” she explained. “As well as the usual team stuff, we’re doing a themed calendar, for charity. The first team and the five main reserves are each get a month and are photographed in suitable seasonal poses for that month and it’s bunged together in a calendar, which goes on sale late this year, all profits to charity. I’m December. I swear I told you about this the other day.”

Harry realised, too late, that she had indeed explained it all to him the other day. The only thing was, she’d done so wearing her brand new bright red bikini and so he hadn’t really been paying her words too much attention. He’d made a joke about it being the sort of calendar where she would wear said bikini, and she’d pretended to be affronted and said no, it was very classy, that they were going for comedy value and she’d be wearing her Christmas jumper.

Now, looking at the jumper again, and seeing how it stretched nearly to her knees, he saw what she meant.

“Wait a minute, though,” he added. “You just happened to get December?”

Ginny grinned. “I did ask,” she said. “But everyone knows how much I love Christmas, so, really, it couldn’t go to anyone else. I’d have gone off to join the Cannons in a huff if they hadn’t allowed it.”

“Well, I’m glad that you work with people who are good enough to understand your Christmas obsession,” he said, laughing. “But really, this is ridiculous. It gets earlier every year, you know!”

“What does?” she asked.

“When the decorations come out, when you start with the Christmas songs...” he gestured towards her, still laughing. “Honestly! Last year I said mid-November was too early. Now, it’s July! What’ll it be next year, March?”

“Nah, next year we just won’t bother taking down the decorations, and we’ll have them up year round,” Ginny replied, shaking her head. “You’ll see, you’ll come round!”

“It’s too early! The rules say the first of December, and—”

“The rules? Who are you, the Christmas Police? Percy?!”

“Percy?! Too far, too far!” he exclaimed, and lunged towards her, trying to lasso her with a strand of tinsel. And then, of course, it descended into something else entirely, and the report did not get written.

*

The next day, he was making a much better go at it. The heatwave continued, but the weather had clearly put Gawain Robards in a good mood as he had very graciously allowed Harry and extension on the report.

Having packed Ginny off with her hideous jumper, the ridiculous reindeer headband and an enormous cardboard box containing much of their Christmas decorations (“I can’t trust the PR team to bring out the good baubles, you know?” she’d said, looking determined) he had actually used the time to work on the report. Dull as it was, it was at least done, he realised, feeling pleased as he checked his watch. It was nearly lunchtime, which meant that Ginny would be done soon. Perhaps they’d go down to the beach at Shell Cottage later, maybe pick Ted up, too...

As he thought this, he heard the floo spring to life in the other room, so he put down his quill and sauntered in. “Mr Potter?” he heard, while still in the hallway.

He broke into a run.

For security reasons, only a very small number of fireplaces were connected to the floo at his and Ginny’s place. Most people who had access were either related to them, or might as well be. None of those people would address him as Mr Potter. The only people who might would be someone from work, contacting him about an emergency, or someone from the Harpies, calling about—

“Harry. Hi.” Gwenog Jones’s face, looking grim, was sat in his fireplace. “Listen, you’d better come through. It’s Ginny. She’s in the medical wing.”

*

“What do you mean, she just collapsed?” Harry demanded of the photographer, who shrank back, alarmed.

“I dunno!” he replied, wringing his hands. “She was just there...on the broom...and then she wasn’t.”

Harry gave him a withering look. He was seriously contemplating suggesting that the Harpies’ PR team fire him and replace him with his assistant, who had had the foresight to place cushioning charms on the ground to help break Ginny’s fall while also summoning the medical team. Nicola—the assistant—had explained that they had been trying several different poses but had eventually decided on one where Ginny, decked out in Christmas attire and the Harpies’ signature cape, flew up to the Christmas tree to place an angel at its top. They had done this quite a few times, as the photographer hadn’t been satisfied with any of his shots so far, when Ginny all of a sudden slumped forward and tumbled off her broom in a faint.

She had come round, somewhat, before being stretchered into the medical rooms, at which point Gwenog had been dispatched to fetch Harry, who was listed as her emergency contact. Now, he was with Gwenog in the waiting room, and the photographer and his assistant had just come in. Nicola looked genuinely concerned about Ginny; the photographer looked more concerned about the possibility of his having damaged the Harpies’ star chaser and the impact of this on his future work for the team.

“So d’you reckon she’ll be back today, or should I pack up my equipment?” he asked. Fortunately—for him, or Harry might have punched him—one of the team’s Healers stepped into the waiting room, and he and Nicola made themselves scarce.

“All is well,” she said, holding up her hands to both Harry and Gwenog’s demands. “Mr Potter, I presume?”

Harry nodded. “Ginny’s okay?”

“She is, yes. My name’s Hannah, I’m the lead Healer for the Harpies. We’ve run various tests on Ginny, but it seems that what happened was simply a benign case of heat exhaustion,” she explained. “With the weather being what it is; the multiple layers she was wearing; the airlessness of the room and the photographer’s lighting charms, it seems that everything got a bit much for Ginny and it caused her to faint. Fortunately, the cushioning charms meant she sustained no other damage, and now we’ve cooled her down and ensured she’s got plenty of fluids inside her, we have no concerns about this being anything more serious.”

Harry exhaled hugely. “Thank you,” he said fervently, but Hannah brushed it off.

“Not at all; it’s my job,” she said simply. “As I say, we’ve cooled her down and she’s getting plenty to drink, but we’ll want to monitor her vitals for another hour or so before you take her home. She’s to not overexert herself, and remain cool and well hydrated for at least the next twenty four hours but this is certainly nothing long lasting. Of course, if you become concerned about anything do get in touch immediately, but there is nothing to worry about at this stage.”

“Can I see her?” asked Harry.

“Of course,” said Hannah, gesturing for him to follow her. Gwenog indicated that she would remain where she was and give the two of them some time together. Harry was glad—even though he was fully assured by Hannah that this was nothing more than a mild case of heat exhaustion, his alarm had been considerable and he wanted to see her to know she was really okay. It wasn’t the first injury she’d had at work, and it wasn’t the worst, either, but even so, the panic he had felt when Gwenog first appeared in his fireplace wasn’t fully gone even now.

Hannah led him down a long corridor, but he could see into Ginny’s room as the door to it was open. She was sat up in bed, wearing a hospital gown, but seemed quite perky; she was holding a large glass of iced water and laughing about something with another medical attendant. She waved at Harry, spotting him coming up the corridor, and he resisted the temptation to break into a run and hurl himself onto the bed next to her.

Once they arrived, Hannah explained to Ginny that they would want to monitor her vitals for another hour or so but if everything remained as it was, she’d be able to go home at the end of that hour. “However,” Hannah added, picking up a clipboard suspended in mid-air, onto which a quill was making continual notes, “everything looks fine to me. Call us if you need anything, but I’ll leave the two of you alone for now.”

“Thank you so much,” Ginny said, looking between Hannah and the other Healer, who nodded. “I’m so sorry to have been so much trouble, but you’ve both been wonderful. Thank you.” She sounded, to Harry, just as she normally did, and he was almost completely certain that she would be fine.

“Just doing our jobs,” said Hannah, brushing this off, then the Healers left.

“Thank Merlin you’re okay,” Harry said, barely waiting until they were out of the room to dive towards the bed and gather her up in his arms. He inhaled the smell of her, that familiar, floral smell which brought him so much comfort, and held her close for several minutes. Just being there, sat on the bed with her, was enough to soothe away the last vestiges of panic.

Eventually, he broke away, leaning back, only to be confronted by a look of utter moroseness on her face. She seemed so upset that he was immediately catapulted back into a state of panic, looking around for Hannah and her team of Healers, certain that she must be in more pain than she was letting on. “What is it, what’s the matter?” he demanded.

“Oh Harry,” she replied, in a near wail. “It’s terrible!”

“What is, what’s the matter?” he asked. “Do you need me to get the Healers?”

“I’ll never live it down,” she continued, as though he hadn’t spoken.

“What? Oh, no, of course you will. Everyone gets a little overheated every now and then, and fainting’s perfectly normal in that situation. As long as nothing more serious is the matter, and the Healers were sure that you’re fine other than that, then I don’t see—”

“It wasn’t the falling off my broom,” she said, waving the hand holding the water glass and nearly sloshing ice all over him. “That would happen to anyone who fainted. It was the heat.” She gestured over to the corner of the room, where a chair was piled high with her clothes—the Harpies cape, draped over the back of it; jeans; a tank top; and the enormous, hideous Christmas jumper.

“I’m not surprised you got too hot in all that,” Harry said. “It’s thirty-three degrees today, plus whatever else inside that room with all the photography equipment. Honestly, it was irresponsible of them to—”

“Harry!” she said, widening her eyes dramatically. “You don’t understand! It’s Christmas. It’s betrayed me!”

“...what?!”

“I fainted because I got overheated, and I overheated because I was wearing my Christmas jumper! Christmas has betrayed me!”

He laughed out loud at the distressed expression on her face. “Well, if you want to get technical, I guess it was just that one jumper that betrayed you, not Christmas as a whole, and really if you are going to wear an enormous great big woolly thing on the hottest day of July, I really don’t—”

“Christmas! Has! Betrayed me!” Ginny cried, ignoring his reasonableness. “Me! I will never live this down,” she added dramatically, then reached out and clutched his arm. “Promise me one thing, Harry.”

He raised an eyebrow, trying to keep a straight face.

“Promise me...” she closed her eyes and sighed dramatically. “Promise me you’ll not tell George and Ron. They’ll never let me forget it!”

He laughed, all set to agree, when a thought suddenly occurred to him. He pursed his lips, sitting up straighter on the hospital bed, and Ginny shrank back against the pillows. “Uh oh,” she said quietly.

“I promise that I won’t tell anyone about how you got heat exhaustion because Christmas betrayed you—”

“Oh, thank you darling, that’s just what I—”

“If you,” he continued loudly, interrupting her interruption, “if you agree that, this year, Christmas does not start in our house until the first of December. Last year, we practically had the tree up the day after Bonfire Night—”

“That’s an exaggeration!”

“Only a minor one,” Harry said. “Seriously. Christmas begins on the first of December. No decorations, no songs, no gnomes dressed up like angels, no light up jumpers, nothing festive until the first. After that point, anything goes. If you can stick to it, I’ll not say a word to anyone about today. If you can’t...” He trailed off, giving a faux-nonchalant shrug.

She exhaled forcefully, blowing several strands of hair around her face and glared at him. “You are so going on the naughty list this year.”

He winked. “That’s what I’m hoping!”

[dreamy--dolly]

percihad headcanons because i can and we need more content

all of these are going under a cut bc there’s a lot.

they meet when they’re really little - galahad and elaine live close to percival’s castle and he goes off to play in the woods when one day he trips and scrapes his knee. percival hears him and runs over to help him and to get galahad to stop crying he makes a bunch of silly faces to cheer him up.

in modern aus they are BOTH beatles fans - i feel like galahad’s favorite is paul and percy’s favorite is ringo.

percival starts growing out his hair again as he gets older bc while he’s not a girl he’s still not entirely comfortable w/ masculinity, so galahad likes braiding and styling his hair when it gets long enough.

they’re both around the same height but percival’s a liiiiittle bit taller.

cloak snuggles. LOTS of cloak snuggles. percival just wraps galahad up in his cloak and they cuddle

galahad is a bottom

if they ever grow up and live together they probably go to stay in a castle by the ocean

one time percival found a cat and BEGGED galahad to let them keep it so they did. galahad and the cat didn’t like each other at first, but they grew on each other. the cat’s name is dandelion, or lion for short.

they can usually be found sleeping where galahad’s lying on percival’s stomach asleep and percy’s playing with his hair

galahad prefers using a bow and arrow and one time percival suggested “what if i put an apple on my head and you missed and shot me in the eye would that be messed up or what :D” and galahad just. o_o

arthur is probably their biggest shipper - he’s a very close father figure to galahad and is so glad to see the boy who’s p much a second son to him so happy

they’re that couple that acts disgustingly cute even before they’re a couple

thanks to gringolet informing me that virginity is like. in catholicism usually w/ SPECIFICALLY the opposite sex galahad and percival find out about this loophole aaand i cant get too into it and kinda dont wanna

but i’m pretty sure when they finally do get around to that it’s very soft and sweet and very romantic and they’re just super soft with each other and have some intense TENDERNESS together the morning after

galahad stress bakes and percival constantly steals strawberries from him

they are BOTH big big cuddlebugs and big on small public displays of affection.

percival uses a sword in battle, galahad uses a bow and arrow. percival kinda takes it upon himself to protect galahad but then there’ll be times when galahad’s the one to get him out of fights and percy gets really embarrassed about it

bors is the ultimate wingman, and percy goes to gawaine for relationship advice

percival has to take the spiders outside because galahad gets scared

whenever percival looks remotely sad galahad plays with his hair to cheer him up

if galahad is sad percival makes stupid faces at him or covers his face w/ kisses

in modern aus they like to spend time at the amusement park walking on the boardwalk and looking at the stars

[kaibutsushidousha]

How did you feel about Last Encore?

I have no idea. There was so much to unpack from that experience that I really don’t know what to feel about it as whole. I loved the surprise factor from it being advertised as a simple Fate/EXTRA adaptation but turning out to be something out else entirely. I also really loved how fitting the name “Fate/EXTRA: Last Encore” was to the setting: the anime was simply picking all of the Fate/EXTRA characters and giving them one final showing after their real stories were already over (even if only for them to go out not with a bang but with a whimper).

Anyways, overall Last Encore feels like an episodic show, with some episodes/characters that failed, and some that didn’t. To voice my thoughts about it, I would have to go through each character one by one.

Hakuno/Deadface: I was thought Hakuno (the real deal) was perfectly fine as an individual character but terrible as protagonist, and our Deadface-kun here takes the whole thing in the opposite direction. He is serviceable at best as an individual but much better as a protagonist than his EXTRA counterpart. Both were born from basically nothing at the beginning of their stories, but Hakuno defined their (or in this case her) own character with a strongly compelling drive to survive no matter the cost. While her determination was charming and remarkable, Hakuno somewhat fails as a protagonist because Fate/EXTRA had a whole story going on behind the scenes and we don’t get to see that because the current state of the world doesn’t matter for Hakuno’s survival.

Next LE brings us the Hakuno Deadface, a digital ghost born from our survivalist extraordinaire (+ background characters)’s salt over her defeat by the Twice in /EXTRA’s final battle. The edgy hatred speeches are really tedious, but ultimately he gets a neat arc from finding out he is something inherently bad but he is still wants to make something good despite being bad in nature. Unlike Hakuno being a generic NPC, on his case we get a good reflection of his own nature, which leads him to care about the dynamics of the world around him, since he defines him personal goal as improving it, culminating on him wishing for a “new world” with a Moon Cell reset. That makes him more functional as a protagonist than the real Hakuno. All that said, real Hakuno is still more enjoyable to watch.

On I side note, I love that this set up placed female Hakuno as the canon Fate/EXTRA protagonist, because honestly, who played as male Hakuno? I don’t know a single person.

Nero: Nero is just Nero as usual, which (controversial opinion) is always a good thing. That said, like Septem and Extella, this story (justifiably) started with post-development Nero and (unjustifiably) did nothing new with her character. It was already instantly better than the two above because it retold Nero’s backstory with interesting visuals, but still Nero was just Nero.

Shinji and Drake: Shinji was one of biggest highlights here. Easily his best iteration (I know that’s not real praise, but seriously, LE Shinji is really good). In Fate/EXTRA, Shinji is portrayed as the usual obnoxious ass from /stay Night, but after he is defeated, we get treated a reveal this Shinji was not the same Shinji, he was actually just an 8-years old kid roleplaying and that he didn’t even know that dying in the Moon Cell would cause him to die in real life. The big problem with that is that this reveal doesn’t Shinji any less of an edgy asshole than before, so I couldn’t gather any sympathy from it and the only thing it did was setting up the Week 2 storyline with Hakuno questioning whether or not they are capable of sacrificing people with fully realized lives to preserve their own uncertain life.

Then comes in Last Encore, all pushes all these ideas in a much more interesting direction. Instead of all that poorly-written death drama, this Shinji finds out about the “you die in real life” trope by actually winning his first battle and watching his opponent die. This 8-years-old who was acting like an ass because he thought he was just safely having fun in a videogame is faced with the fact that he unknowingly committed murder and decides that he has to do something about it, creating his stagnated city where no ones has to fight. This was an excellent new use of his previous characterization and it finally created a Shinji that’s sympathetic (as you can tell, I still haven’t played CCC).

Drake is still the same as always. Just a support to other characters with no relevant personal motivations of her own. Nothing noteworthy to say about her.

Amari: We didn’t get to see much of her in the anime and I didn’t listen to her Drama CD yet,so there’s not much to say. She presented herself as a woman who controls those weaker than her out of a crippling fear of not amounting to much, and in the end her character didn’t amount to much, so I guess she was good enough in terms of poetic irony.

Dan and Robin: Watching Dan and Robin was sad, and not in any enjoyable or exciting way. It did a good in setting the bleak nature of Last Encore’s world but it sure didn’t do the characters any favors. Robin’s “Should I just tell the old man to give and die?” scene was really strong and I also liked Dan’s sniping trick, but that aside, those two did not perform really well.

Alice: I don’t feel like I need to say much here because’s Alice’s story is the one thing everyone, Last Encore fans and haters alike, agree to be the best part of Last Encore. The original Fate/EXTRA really failed to make me feel anything about Alice’s character, because it focused too much on the mystery of the two Alices to give her some proper characterization (maybe that part would be better if I and everyone else weren’t already spoiled about Nursery Rhyme’s true nature), and when they did, the focus would be higher on the creepiness than in the tragic factor of the character.

Last Encore, on the other hand, realized the full tragedy potential of the character and created a very beautiful piece about it. And, as if being the most emotionally interesting part of the show weren’t enough, her chapters also get the Madoka witch barrier backgrounds and the Glass Game loops to make them the most visually and structurally interesting as well.

Julius and Shuwen: Julius being a Deadface was clever because he kinda was already one by the last week of the game. However, this time Julius’ Deadface status serves only to make Hakuno aware of what he is to kickstart his arc, while this moment in the game proper was entirely about Julius’ own character. Since he got nothing of that, both Julius and Shuwen appear as complete non-characters wearing familiar faces for no interesting reason.

Rin and Rani: They were nice, but considering their importance, I don’t think I cared nearly as much as the show wanted me to. Rani’s different personality added to the main cast dynamic in the few occasions she was present, but that was barely ever. None of her deaths really stroke with me because she of this lack of presence (and because she’s so dull in the game as well). Rin got to be more present, but her weirdly genki personality here overlap with Nero and was consequently overshadowed by her. This Rin would be better if she was allowed to be more proud and confrontational like her other versions, but I understand how her circumstances are too dire for her to afford that. One thing I did like a lot about this Rin was Hakuno acknowledging her 1000 year struggle and saying she was the one who deserved the Grail. That was really nice.

Leo and Gawain: Leo didn’t get to shine much here, but I’m never displeased with Leo content. Him being made to confront the flaws in his ideology is nice and the hope he gets from the Deadface Hakuno is what made me start liking the protagonist. Gawain was the same as usual and nothing interesting was done with him.

Twice: Twice is exactly the same character he was in the game, except his stupid 2-hour long speech is spread through multiple episodes starting from the first, instead of having him appear from nowhere as the final boss and spew everything at once. Undoubtedly much better but still not good enough to fix Twice’s character.

[buriedundertherainbow-blog]

DIVINE GATE, TELL ME WHAT DID LOKI DO TO YOU TO LOOK LIKE THIS?! (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

   Before we start, let me say this: “I AM A TRUE MASOCHIST”, so don’t blame for whatever happens from now on for it ain’t worth it. 三⊂( っ⌒◡| Some time ago, week or two to be more precise, I have set myself on an impossible anime challenge. Maybe it’s not as tedious as rolling that goddamn rock up the hill, but still will consume a lot of my time and energy. Ekchem, anyways… I have decided to watch each, and every anime produced since Winter Season 2015/2016 till now and review them all, oh boi! ゞ◎Д◎ヾ

   First up for the task is Divine Gate, which I thankfully, bless my stupid ideas, watched at work while no one was paying attention. (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ The creation of Studio Pierrot, which has some quite big fishes swimming in their garden pond, such as Bleach, Naruto or Tokyo Ghoul as well as one of my all time favourites Greatoooh Teacheruu Onizuka!!!! (┌ﾟдﾟ)┌ (┌ﾟдﾟ)┌ (┌ﾟдﾟ)┌ (┌ﾟдﾟ)┌ has decided to make an anime out of a game, and as I have previously discussed while reviewing Caligula it is never easy. Once again, I did not play the game and I’m pretty sure that after watching this anime I don’t feel like playing it even more. （◎ー◎；）

T H E  P L O T 【 TV 】    -o(.￣  )

   Hmm… (ʃ⌣́,⌣́ƪ) What is the actual point that this story? I have absolutely no f**king clue. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Zero, empty, brain dead, error, you name it. It generally resolves around the idea that there is some miraculous entity or object known as Divine Gate and that only those, at least according to one annoying little twat in XVIII century grade school uniform, who have suffered great despair have right to attain it. The Gate is supposed to give its’ conqueror an immense power and right to shape the reality according to their whim. (p〒д〒q) While, all that sounds sweet and sugar, it’s pretty much bullshitu.

   The story, I presume, was supposed to keep the viewers at the edges of their seats watching the main characters struggle with unjust and cruel word, until finally while standing just ONE TINY STEP away from fulfilling their desires, to see the— ┏( ゜)ਊ゜)┛Unfortunately, the delivery was as flat as Krul Tepes’s chest. F**ck, now my eyes are bleeding, halp. ( ´༎ຶㅂ༎ຶ`) Hence, not only the final moral, which is probably something like “no one has right to shape other people’s life for them”, doesn’t land, but also half of the story itself makes no sense in correspondence to it.

   Sigh. On top of all that, those who have the right to seek the gate, known as “Adapters” have developed superhuman abilities (supposedly at birth, but it doesn’t look to be the case with Aoto, or I am an idiot ∑（｡･Д･｡）??? – both could be true) and although they can use them without any device, but at the same time, they need objects called “Drivers” in other to shape them. …..φ(〃∇〃 ))) And when I say they can use their powers without a device, I am pretty much referring to Aoto, because if I understood correctly freaking GODS are USELESS without it. 凸ಠ益ಠ)凸 Can someone please explain what the funk is happening here?! Even Mortal Kombat makes more sense than this show.

T H E  C H A R A C T E R S 【 TV 】    -o(.￣  )

   I am one of those fangirls, that always find their own favourite character in each series, welp guess what? Not today Satan, not today. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ The characters were flat, one dimensional and pretty much boring from tip of their heads to their toes. In Divine Gate we follow three main teenage characters, what were their names again? Σ(‘◉⌓◉’) Well, I only remember Aoto. There was also this “overly moral oblivious kid” and “spoiled female character whose biggest issue was that one friend who left her”, so let’s just skip them! ヽ( ˘ω˘ )ゝ

   I will admit, however, that I quite enjoyed the toxic relationship and interactions between two brothers, Aoto and hmmm… ( *´罒`* ) His name sounded similar, hmm... (*≧▽≦) Whatever, let’s call him “emo Aoto”! Anyways, the tension between two brothers, with one being overprotective to the point that he’s willing to sacrifice almost everything to protect his ototo without noticing how harmful that is to his secreted little brother and another becoming emo and twisted to the point that he believes death to be their only salvation, is slightly fascinating. Although, both are somewhat extreme in their own characteristics, at least something was finally happening! Щ(･｀ω´･Щ)

    As a desert in this meaningless dinner we have almighty and famous Knights of Round, but round what? Eyeball, planet, ass maybe?! （ ಠωಠ） Let me name them all first before we go, hmmm… I don’t know, nope, neither… ( ﾟｰﾟ) Something is coming to me, but nope, still nothing. The old guy is a butler, right? Who is that chick? Hi there, nameless lady. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Wanna have a drink with me? I’m pretty sure he was called... Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑) Still nothing. Is this guy mafia? OH, LANCELOT! ✧٩(ˊωˋ*)و✧ Okay fine, I admit I knew Gawain and Mordred as well, but the point which I was trying to make, was that most of the characters are easy to forget and made no contribution to the series WHAT-SO-EVER. I know, I know, that they were supposed to be a background and reasoning behind Arthur’s choice, but couldn’t it be made more like this:

   I’m sure their deaths will contribute as much to the story anyways, so just turn them in dots and kill with one Madara blow and secondary characters can still mourn their loss. ¯\(◉‿◉)/¯

T H E  R E F E R E N C E S 【 TV 】    -o(.￣  )

   Finally, we have reached my main point of this God-forbit-lengthy essay, which are references to characters of Mythology and literature. We have infamous Knights of Round, ‎(ﾉಥ益ಥ）ﾉ ┻━┻ please lemme give you a table to fix this shittu, as well as Nordic Gods with Loki up the front and a Dragon, but what for? ¯\_(⊙︿⊙)_/¯

   I have nothing against using elements of culture, history or literature in anime, for instance look at Bungou Stray Dogs, that one is priceless, but Divine Gate… Kill me, please.八(＾□＾*) Leave alone the fact, that Merlin and other Arthurian Legends related movies are my blessed childhood memories and I am big fan of latest creation of this sort, namely Legend of the Sword, but FFS STOP FORGETTING THE GODDAMN TABLE, WITHOUT IT MAKES NO SENSE! IT COULD BE KINGTHS OF ROUND BOOBS, FOR ALL THAT I CARE!! ( • )( • )ԅ(‾⌣‾ԅ) AND I’M LINGUIST, DAMNIT, THIS MISTAKE HURTS ME ON A SPIRITUAL LEVEL!! (╬ﾟ◥益◤ﾟ) [deep breathing] But did you also have to make “that” out of my beautiful Loki?!!

S C O R E S 【 TV 】    -o(.￣  )

ART: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

PLOT: ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

CHARACTERS: ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

SOUNDTRACKT: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

GENRE REALISATION: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

TOTAL POINTS: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

F I N A L  T H O U G H T S 【 TV 】    -o(.￣  )

    Pardon, my loss of temper in previous paragraph. Thankfully, I am all calm and collected now. However, I must say that watching this anime at work was the greatest idea I have ever had. Why, you might wonder. Because otherwise I would have regretted wasting my free time on this piece of shi—. (;ﾞ°´ω°´) To sum it all up, the references were used poorly and painfully, plot made little sense and the characters were either flat or completely useless, hence came my score of only 3/10 stars. How low you have fallen Loki, how low… ｡･ﾟヾ(✦థ ｪ థ)ﾉ｡ﾟ･｡

Thanks for reading! ｍ（｡≧ _ ≦｡）ｍ

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior 7/30/21 - JUNGLE CRUISE, THE GREEN KNIGHT, STILLWATER, NINE DAYS, THE BOY BEHIND THE DOOR and More!

Well, this is going to be the most interesting weekend of the summer. Don’t believe me?

What would you say if I told you we have three wide releases this week, one a mega-studio movie that cost hundreds of millions with two huge box office stars, taking on two smaller indies -- one with a big star, the other something more artsy with an actor who should be a bigger star? That’s what we’re looking at this week, since Disney has a movie, taking on two of the smaller studios with what are likely to be strong, well-reviewed movies that (fingers crossed) we’ll still be talking about at the end of the year when it comes to awards.

One thing that I feel I need to point out before continuing is that we’re starting to see a potential third or fourth wave of COVID, this time the Delta variant, slowly creeping up, and while I don’t think theaters will completely shut down as they did last March, I do wonder whether capacity will be lowered again to prevent the spread by allowing for more social distancing inside movie theaters.

Normally, I would start with the Disney movie -- which I really liked -- but I actually want to start with one of the smaller movies, because Thomas McCarthy’s STILLWATER (Focus Features), starring Matt Damon, is this week’s “Chosen One,” and honestly, it needs a lot more support and love than the other wide releases this week.

In the movie, Matt Damon plays Bill Baker, an out-of-work oil rig worker from Stillwater, Oklahoma, who flies to Marseilles, France where his estranged daughter Alison (Abigail Breslin) has been imprisoned for four years, accused of killing her roommate and lover. Once there, Bill learns from Alison that there might be more evidence that could prove her innocence, but when her legal team refuses to look into it, he instead tries to find anyone that can help him free his daughter. Along the way, he meets French actress Virginie (Camille Cottin) and her eight-year-old daughter Maya (Lilou Sauvaud), and they become fast friends and then roommates, helping Bill whenever they can.

I have to be honest that I went into Stillwater knowing very little about it, including the general plot, and I honestly didn’t even know that most of it took place in France -- 95% of it, in fact. Another thing I didn’t know in advance was that it was co-written by Thomas Bidegain, who has been working extensively with the brilliant Jacques Audiard in recent years on films like Rust and Bone, A Prophet and Dheepan. Just thinking of that combination of McCarthy with Bidegain is reason enough to give Stillwater the benefit of the doubt, but it also proves to be quite a sympatico combination of skills, since both writers have long had a proven knack for creating emotional character dramas.

As much as the overarching story involving Bill’s daughter and him trying to find the person who was really responsible for her roommate’s murder -- and yes, It’s hard not to think of the Amanda Knox case while watching the movie -- I ended up enjoying how Bill’s relationship with Virginie and especially Maya played out much more. That said, Damon’s performance is fantastic, and so is that of Abigail Breslin, who we really haven’t seen in this kind of dramatic adult role before, at least not that I have seen. Damon and Breslin’s scenes together are probably some of the film’s strongest, to the point where once it gets back into him catching the real killer, it certainly adds another layer but maybe one that maybe isn’t as interesting.

The one negative I have to say about Stillwater is about how the marketing spends so much time focusing on the thriller and crime aspects of the movie and fails to illustrate what makes the film so wonderful -- which is the character arc Bill goes through by spending time with Virginie and Maya, who bring so much to his life he would never have found in Oklahoma. That was really the biggest takeaway for me, and why I enjoyed the movie enough to make it “Chosen One.” Like so many of McCarthy’s great earlier films like The Station Agent and The Visitor, he has a way of creating compelling drama by bringing people from different backgrounds together.

On the other hand, if you’re unwilling to give a Red State working man like Damon’s character a chance, maybe Stillwater won’t be for you, but if you’re willing to learn about people that are different than yourself, put into situations in which you might never be, then it’s just the right cure for those who want something more grounded and authentic during the summer.

Personally, I’m convinced Stillwater will be one of the Top 10 Best Picture Oscar nominees this year, and I’ve already had people wanting to bet against me, thinking I’m wrong,, but I honestly think that once others see this film and allow themselves to appreciate the story and character-work done by McCarthy and his small cast, the film will find many fans. Maybe that won’t happen right away in theaters, but it’s likely to be on VOD in a month or so and then awards screeners later this year will help remind people and find new recruits.

As far as the box office prospects of McCarthy’s latest, I’m not really sure it can open with more than $5 million even with Matt Damon’s face plastered everywhere, because it just doesn’t seem like the type of movie that should get an immediate wide release vs. a slower roll-out.

The biggest movie of the weekend and by far the widest release into over 4,000 theaters is Disney’s JUNGLE CRUISE (Walt Disney Pictures), teaming Dwayne Johnson and Emily Blunt -- Blunt having led one of the second biggest female-led movies of 2021 so far after Black Widow -- and putting them into a fantasy-adventure based on the Disney World (or Land?) theme park ride. This is an idea that worked well for Disney’s 2003 action-adventure Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, and its sequels, but maybe not so well for movies like The Country Bears. The fact is that theme park rides based on hit movies work great, but trying to create a hit movie out of a theme park, it just isn’t done, and for a very good reason.

If nothing else, this one stars Dwayne Johnson, who has been absent from theaters for quite some time, having bailed on the “Fast Saga” franchise for his own 2019 spin-off with Jason Statham, Fast & Furious Presents Hobbs and Shaw. That made about $173 million domestically and another $586 million overseas, but Johnson’s last movie was 2019’s Jumanji: The Next Level, which made $300 million domestically and another $483.3 million overseas. Not all of Johnson’s movies have done so well -- Baywatch and Skyscaper both bombed domestically -- but Johnson is clearly an A-list star who just needs the right vehicle. Jungle Cruise may be just that, because it combines the type of action and humor that are Johnson’s strong suits with the family draw of something like the Jumanji movies but then also adds the Disney namebrand, which has led to many huge blockbusters.

It certainly won’t hurt that his on-screen foil Emily Blunt is coming off her hit A Quiet Place Part II, which continues to move her into the realm of beloved A-lister ala Julia Roberts and others. In between the Quiet Place sequel and the original movie in 2018 (which grossed $335 million worldwide), Blunt starred as the title character in Mary Poppins Returns for Disney, which made even more than the first Quiet Place worldwide, but it firmly placed her in the Disney realm that makes her a perfect co-star for Johnson. She previously starred in the Disney musical, Into the Woods, which also did very well, but it clearly has put Blunt into a category that should make a draw on a similar level as Johnson but more for women and girls.

Since the original Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl will be the benchmark for how Disney is hoping Jungle Cruise might perform -- keeping in mind that we’re still in the COVID pandemic and the fact that Jungle Cruise is available to buy for $29.99 on Disney+ Premier Access starting Friday -- we have to remember that the first “Pirates” was looked at rather cynically, so when it opened with $46.6 million in July 2003, that was thought of as a huge boon for the Disney property. It ended up grossing $300 million in the U.S. alone, which showed a huge amount of word-of-mouth and repeat viewing, which I personally feel Jungle Cruise

Unfortunately, we do have to take into account both COVID and the ability for families to see the movie on Disney+ for $30 vs. the $100+ it usually costs to take a small family to the movies, especially with kids under 12 still not being vaccinated. In normal times, I could maybe see Jungle Cruise opening with $40 to 50 million or more, but these aren’t normal times, and some of the factors mentioned above might keep it down around the $30 million mark, give or take.

I reviewed Jungle Cruise over at Below the Line, incidentally.

Next up is David Lowery’s THE GREEN KNIGHT (A24), starring Dev Patel, which is a fairly faithful adaptation of the “Sir Gawain and the Green Knight” Arthurian legend poem written by “Anonymous,” and it’s a grand sweeping epic in the vein of Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings, although it’s a far more R-rated affair. It stars Dev Patel, Oscar winner Alicia Vikander, Barry Keoughan, and Joel Edgerton as well as others, and it’s a movie that’s likely to be talked about by many over the next couple weeks.

It’s an interesting new film from the filmmaker who has done small indies like Ain’t Them Body Saints and big studio movies like Pete’s Dragon (and the upcoming Peter Pan and Wendy), and mid-sized movies like A Ghost Story and The Old Man and the Gun in between. He’s reteaming with Ghost Story distributor A24 who knows the best way to attract the cinephile Millennial audience (aka #FilmTwitter) that would appreciate The Green Knight. They’ve done particularly well with horror and genre films from the likes of Ari Aster (Hereditary, Midsommar) and Robert Eggers (The Witch, The Lighthouse). So far, A24’s top-grossing film is the Safdie Brothers’ Uncut Gems with around $50 million. That starred Adam Sandler, who is a much bigger star than anyone in The Green Knight, but Heredity’s $13 million opening, or more likely, Midsommar’s $10.9 million five-day would be a better barometer for Lowery’s latest.

You can read my review of The Green Knight here, but I fully expect others reviews to be just as favorable and glowing, along with the excitement by #FilmTwitter to see this movie after it was delayed over a year. In many ways, A24 has created a niche for this type of film with Ari Aster’s Hereditary and Midsommar, and this will probably be effective counter-programming against a mainstream studio movie like Jungle Cruise. The fact that this won’t be available on streaming or On Demand should help it bring in between $7 and 10 million this weekend, as the amazing visuals and marketing for the film should make it the first choice for those between 20 and 40 of both genders.

Essentially, this week’s Top 10 should look something like this...

1. Jungle Cruise (Walt Disney Pictures) - $32 million N/A

2. The Green Knight (A24) - $8.7 million N/A

3. Black Widow (Marvel/Disney) - $6.5 million -44%

4. Old (Universal) - $6 million -64%

5. Snake Eyes (Paramount/MGM/Skydance) - $6 million -56%

6. Stillwater (Focus Features) - $4.8 million N/A

7. Space Jam: A New Legacy (Warner Bros.) - $4.5 million -53%

8. F9: The Fast Saga (Universal) - $2.5 million -48%

9. Escape Room: Tournament of Champions (Sony) - $1.6 million -54%

10. The Boss Baby: Family Business (Universal/DreamWorks Animation) - $1.6 million -44%

Opening in limited theaters in New York and L.A. on Friday before a wider release on August 6 is Edson Oda’s NINE DAYS (Sony Pictures Classics), a movie that premiered at the Sundance Film Festival way back in January 2020 to rave reviews across the board, but has to find a renewed push now that it’s finally coming out in theaters. It stars Winston Duke (US, Black Panther) as Will, an enigmatic individual who watches people’s lives on a wall of monitors but who also has the power to test individuals hoping to be the next to get a life. Yeah, it’s a pretty enigmatic and metaphysical idea for a film, but Edo’s script is great, and he’s put together quite an amazing ensemble cast around Duke, including Benedict Wong (from Doctor Strange) and Zazie Beetz, but we also see the likes of Tony Hale, Bill Skarsgard and Arianna Ortiz playing very different characters we’ve seen from them before.

I don’t want to go too deep into detail about what happens in this highly metaphysical existential film, but essentially Duke’s character is putting a group of “souls” (for lack of a better term) through their paces in order to be allowed to have a life. The different things they’re asked to do, including watching those aforementioned monitors, makes it hard to really stay completely absorbed in the story, mainly because you might not know what you’re watching. But Duke is great while Wong is very amusing, and Beetz’s character Emma is great as a nut that Will has a particularly difficulty cracking. (In some ways, the movie reminded me of a far more grown-up Soul.)

There’s also Will’s obsession with a violin prodigy whose life he has been observing for a number of decades that makes it hard to understand what we’re watching. But there are many nice moments, plus a few that just seem like an acting exercise, and that intriguing storytelling style is embellished by a beautiful score by Antonio Pinto, which beautifully complements the visuals created by Oda and his cinematographer, Wyatt Garfield.

Nine Days certainly won’t be for everyone -- it’s slow and kind of contemplative and deliberately enigmatic; I’m certainly not sure I fully got it -- but it’s still an intriguing movie because filmmaker Edson Oda has such a unique storytelling style, which in some ways, makes this feel more like a movie we might get from A24 or NEON than Sony Pictures Classics. (I’ll discuss the film’s box office prospects next week as Sony Classics gives another movie a far-too-wide expansion following a platform release.)

This week’s Shudder release is THE BOY BEHIND THE DOOR (Shudder), the second movie by filmmakers David Charbonier and Justin Powell after The Djinn, their first movie, which was released earlier this year. Got all that? (The Boy Behind the Door actually played Fantastic Fest last September but is just finally hitting Shudder on Thursday after playing a bunch of festivals, including, most recently, the Tribeca Film Festival.)

The movie stars Lonnie Chavis as 12-year-old Bobby, whose best friend Kevin (Ezra Dewey, who starred in The Djinn) has been kidnapped and locked up in a house, so Bobby tries to rescue him, having to fight off a couple adults (pedophiles, in fact) while hiding in the house and trying to escape himself.

I really wanted to like The Boy Behind the Door more, because I did enjoy what the duo did in The Djinn and Dewey pretty much carried that movie. I’m not sure that Chavis does as good a job carrying this one, which is odd since the filmmakers already had experience getting good performances from a younger actor.

What’s surprising is that this is debuting on Shudder, because it isn’t particularly scary. It does have a lot of violence, and it’s quite brutal and grueling at times, if that’s your sort of thing, but I don’t even think the writing is particularly good compared to The Djinn.

The Boy Behind the Door offers an interesting one-location thriller, but it’s very tough to watch kids being put into and through some of these situations, so it kept from being able to fully like or love the movie, let alone recommend it. But if you have Shudder, it’ll be on there, so there’s no reason not to watch it. I’ve certainly seen worse. (How’s that for a recommendation?)

Dan (Dirty Grandpa) Mazer’s THE EXCHANGE (Quiver Distribution), written by Tim Long (The Simpsons) stars Ed Oxenbould from The Visit, Justin Hartley from This Is Us, and Avan Jogia from Zombieland: Double Tap. Oxenbould plays Tim, a socially awkward teen who decides to order a “mail order best friend,” but instead of getting a sophisticated exchange from France, he gets Jogia’s chain-smoking sex-obssessed Stéphane, who becomes a hero of Tim’s community. Hartley plays the school’s gym teacher, Barry. This is a fairly bland high-concept indie comedy that treads on Napoleon Dynamite territory without really being particularly funny. I will give props to Music Supervisor Nick Angel, who managed to get some awesome period songs for the score, but otherwise, I really don't have much to say about this one.

Joshua Leonard and Jess Weizler co-wrote and star in Leonard's new movie, FULLY REALIZED HUMANS (Gravitas Ventures). They play Elliot and Jackie, a couple who have been trying to have a baby but don’t want to screw up their kids the way their parents screwed them up. In order to become the perfect parents, they’ll have to rediscover themselves.

Opening at the IFC Center in New York this Friday and at the Laemmle in L.A. on August 6 is THE EVENING HOUR (Strand Releasing), Braden King’s Appalachian drama based on Carter Sickels’ novel, which follows Cole Freeman (Philip Ettinger), who is caring for the old and infirm in the community while selling painkillers to local addicts. When his old friend Terry Rose (Cosmo Jarvis) returns to town with new plans that threatens to unbalance Cole’s lifestyle. Cole also has to deal with the return of his other (Lili Taylor) and conflict with a real drug dealer (Marc Menchaca). The film also stars Stacy Martin, Kerry Bishé… and my good friend, Susan McPhail (in a very small role, though).

Other movies I just didn’t have time to get to include:

A DARK FOE (Vertical) LORELEI (Vertical) MASQUERADE (Shout! Studios) MIDNIGHT IN THE SWITCHGRASS (Lionsgate) RIDE THE EAGLE (Decal) SABARA (MTV Documentary Films)TWIST (Lionsgate)

Next week, James Gunn’s THE SUICIDE SQUAD!

[gunterfan1992]

Episode Review: ‘Seventeen’ (S10E05)

Airdate: December 17, 2017

Story by: Adam Muto, Kent Osborne, Jack Pendarvis, Julia Pott

Storyboarded by: Seo Kim & Somvilay Xayaphone

Directed by: Cole Sanchez (supervising), Sandra Lee (art)

The clock ticks ever-nearer to the ending of Adventure Time, and this is not made any better by the fact that Cartoon Network keeps bombing us with, literally, days worth of new episodes every few months.

“Seventeen” was the first episode we received out of four on December 17 of last year, and it really ramps up the plot concerning Uncle Gumbald and Fern, while also nicely tying into the recurring event of Finn’s birthday!

In this episode, a mysterious green knight crashes Finn’s seventeenth birthday party, telling Finn that if he can strike him, he will win his green axe. Finn does as challenged, loping off the knight’s head and claiming his green axe as his own. Unfortunately, it was a ruse, and it turns out that the knight is still alive and ready to strike Finn in return! After a bit of discourse, the three decide to settle their duel by playing three party games: the Green Knight cheats and wins the first one, but Finn is able to best the knight in a second. The final game—a round of arm-wrestling—reveals who the Green Knight actually is: he is Fern, who somehow managed to survive the weedwhacking in “Three Buckets”.

At that moment, the Green Knight/Fern’s horse begins to speech, and it is revealed that Uncle Gumbald and his degenerate family members were hiding inside the whole time, watching. They were making notes to see how to bring down Bubblegum’s regime. Marceline (who was at the party and sequestered with Bubblegum an Huntress Wizard throughout this whole ordeal) becomes enraged and frightens Gumbald’s crew, which causes them to realize that Marceline may be the biggest threat to their plans...

For those not in the know, “Seventeen” is basically a resituated and restructured version of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, a Medieval, Arthurian poem about the titular Sir Gawain. As Wikipedia puts it:

It describes how Sir Gawain, a knight of King Arthur's Round Table, accepts a challenge from a mysterious "Green Knight" who challenges any knight to strike him with his axe if he will take a return blow in a year and a day. Gawain accepts and beheads him with his blow, at which the Green Knight stands up, picks up his head, and reminds Gawain of the appointed time.

Sounds familiar, does it not? Either way, I’m always down if Adventure Time—which is fundamentally indebted to medieval lore about knights and honor—decides to borrow story elements from some of the greatest poems of all time! After all, I’m a pretty big lit fan.

But perhaps my favorite part of this episode is the voice actor for the Green Knight: Brad Neely. While Hayden Ezzy usually voices Fern in all of his forms, it is Neely who the show brought on to give the Green Knight a further mysteriousness. Neely’s done a lot of great, creative stuff (he created China, IL, worked on South Park, wrote that silly “George Washington” song that is floating around the ‘net, and created the Professor Brothers), but in my mind his magnum opus will always be Wizard People, Dear Readers. You might not know this, but I’m a major Harry Potter fan, and Neely’s ‘alternate audio book’ is such a treat for a major fan like myself.

But that’s neither here nor there. The point I’m trying to make is that Neely is a funny guy, and I’m glad that the show was able to secure him as a voice actor and give him a rather memorable character to play.

Unfortunately, this episode is not perfect, and definitely has its problems. My biggest issue with the episode, however, is its blocking and its resolution. Let’s start with the former.

Kim and Xayaphone have a very unique style of illustration and blocking. If you’ve read through my reviews, then you know that I have extremely varying opinions about their style, depending on the episode. Some times it works grandly, and accents the madcap or silliness inherent in a given episode. Other times it bogs down all the action, resulting in an episode that is, frankly, hard to watch. The blocking and illustration style in “Seventeen” isn’t so much bad as it is distracting. There are points where I’m immediately and openly reminded that I’m watching a 2-dimensional cartoon. Case in point: the scene where Bubblegum, Marceline, and Huntress Wizard are stuck behind the Green Knight’s forcefield. The three characters just stand there, awkwardly waving their hands in the air. It reminded me of a student animation film with the way it was poorly and—if I’m absolutely honest here—rather lazily animated. Other scenes were much better (Finn ripping his shirt off and then flexing his guns was really well ‘boarded, and made me laugh), but they are sadly too few and far between.

My second big gripe with this episode is its resolution. I understand that this is a cartoon for children, but having the bad guy reveal himself (or, in this case, themselves) and then explain their super evil plot is just lazy. Even if Uncle Gumbald didn’t want to engage any further, there was no reason for him to announce himself and then declare his dastardly plan to his rather intelligent grand-daughter. Would not it have made more sense for him to gather his intel and then sneak off into the night to strike another time? And what is more, I completely buy the idea that Marceline would scare the bujeezus out of Gumbald and his crew but Marceline’s antics in this episode aren’t really that scary (compared to say, what she does in “Henchman”), nor do the reactions of Gumbald et al. read as ‘scared’. They come across more as mildly bored.

But all in all, the episode isn’t bad—I must stress that. I enjoyed the gags, many lines of dialogue, and the further exploration of Finn’s personality. It’s just that it did not live up to the source material, and it suffered from a few major issues.

Mushroom War Evidence: None.

Final Grade:

Once again, sorry about the massive delay. Life stuff, man. Life stuff.

[fragmentsofchaldea]

Fragments of Chaldea Fan-Visuals Contest Official Post

To clear up a lot of confusion, I’ve finally gotten around to designing the full thing.

Can you draw with more skill than stick figures? Then you have a chance for a number of prizes!

As everyone likely knows by now, I come from the Film industry. I’m a screenwriter, and was never an ‘author’ until I took up the now-ambitious Fragments project. However, that had never quenched my interests that came from my other field: Visuals are awesome, and the Fragments Series could use some visuals. 

Thus, as a curious way to sate that, I offer a “Fan-Visuals” contest to get the ball rolling. The rules will be straightforward and relatively simple, but split itno two categories.

Contest Rules

=== DEADLINE IS May 1st, 2018. ===

There is no submission limitation. You can submit as many entries as you want. Just remember, the better the overall quality, the higher your chance of winning one of the top three prizes.

No pre-made works allowed (Anything made before the contest was announced on 9 FEB 2018)

Obviously, plagiarism will be an automatic disqualification of that work and any other you submitted.

Submissions can be sent to:  FragmentsofChaldea@mail.com

Uploading it to your account on an external site like DeviantArt, Tumblr, Pixiv, etc. is also okay! Just show me the link!

Entry Rules

KEY REQUIREMENT: The work must clearly depict something from Fragments of Chaldea.

Your absolute safest bet is to visually depict one of your favorite scenes that can be clearly ‘seperated’ from canon. Obviously this has some gray areas at times, but I’ll try and elaborate. 

Example 1: You want to depict something from Their Guiding Light or Redemption from Sin. Be careful about choosing a scene that happened in canon: This enters a gray area. For example, just showing the scene where Fou jumps on Merlin’s face in RFS, or the Lion King using her lance to slam Gawain out of Camelot will not qualify. Something obviously not canon from those singularities, like Astolfo’s hippogriff acting as a mass-taxi, will qualify fine.

Example 2: If you show Frankenstein & Anton, that’s clearly within Fragments of Chaldea’s boundary. If you show Mordred & Jekyll only, that’s not going to qualify because it’s not a clear depiction from the series: They’re a popular ship. If you want to play it safe but draw them, depict one of the scenes.

Example 3: Depicting the Emiya family is probably the biggest gray area because it will be “hard” to depict it as within Fragments of Chaldea. Your best bet if you want to do them is to make it from an obvious scene within the series. One example would be them riding in Kuro’s newly won prize-car back down the 1950′s road. Another would be Emiya helping Kiritsugu through the fiery remains of the TGL village.

Possible Entry ideas (but not limited to this) that would 100% qualify:

A scene with one of FoC’s social groups (Atalanta family, Salon de Marie Staff, etc.)

A picture of one of the OCs

An obvious Slice of Life scene from the series

If you have any questions on the validity of what you want to show, feel free to send a message in some way (ff.net, AO3, or here). If you leave an anonymous message, please be aware I may delay the answer just to group a bunch of them into a FAQ of some sort. PMing me directly is easier and faster.

Additional Info: Any art style is allowed. Digital or handmade drawing/painting, it's all allowed. It’s called “Fan-Visuals” contest because it allows comics, 4-panels, etc. Videos aren’t allowed though. If it’s not a traditional drawing, you also might need to ask me on its validity. I’m a little iffy on 3D model things.

Prizes 

(I can only do Yen or USD from the site I use to get the codes, sorry. Maybe someone can show me other options if you win and need a different currency?)

**Second and Third place ALSO get a rare opportunity to request something for the series within reason. It obviously has to be discussed, but it can include many things like possibly moving someone’s appearance/fragment up or showing a very specific scene interaction. 

Third Place: Google Play or iTunes $25/3,000 yen card. Second Place: Google Play or iTunes $50/5,000 yen card.

Grand Prize: Pick between one or the other!

Google Play or iTunes $100/10,000 yen card. Plus two special requests for the Fragments Series! (same limits)

OR

My loaded NA Account (which includes fully grailed NP5 Gilgamesh, OG Arturia, NP2 Jeanne, Okita, El-Melloi, Jack, Drake, all Free 4 stars thus far, two Limit-Broken K-Scopes, and a lot more) plus a special request for the Fragments Series! (same limits)

As a note for my account: I will be keeping it up to date the whole time, but juggling both NA and JP is giving me a headache, so that’s why that loaded account is a prize option. I’m not leaving the JP one at all, nor quitting FGO.

Finally: There may be one or multiple hidden prizes to be given out. Who knows what they’ll be? Who knows if you might actually win one?

[quentinblack]

25

25. Did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? Describe one

I created a few characters in my fan-fiction story. 

I’m looking at starting a set of posts that I’ll call “The OCs” where I’ll try and showcase some of the lesser known or less popular Canon characters that I’ve fleshed out a bit like Percy Weasley, Dean Thomas, Andromeda Tonks and Hestia Jones who I all have as point of view characters, as well as some supporting characters like Dedalus Diggle, Ernie Macmillan, Ted Tonks, Sturgis Podmore, Savage, Gawain Robards, Proudfoot, Williamson, Wakanda, Thorfinn Rowle, Avery, Jugson and Selwyn. 

Back to the original question I also delved into creating a few of my own characters, as brief sneak-peaks: 

Olivia Burke, pure-blood daughter of the Burke line, her ambition and refusal to marry her Father’s chosen match of Rabastan Lestrange took her to the other side of the world to work for the Australian Ministry. The childhood crush of Head Boy, Kingsley Shacklebolt, yet she only had eyes for the heir to the Malfoy throne. 

 Tezza, the Australian porter at Sydney’s Magizoo hotel resort, the wizarding equivalent of Disneyland. When the famous Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger come to stay at the hotel, the staff, out of respect for the duo, are under strict orders not to discuss the events of the last few years involving Voldemort, but Tezza’s son would never forgive him if he didn’t ask them if it was really true that You Know Who didn’t have a schnozza. 

Zoe Federici, a Greek-Australian head of Guest Relations who is highly experienced in customer service and providing everything that her guests could ever wish for. She gets the shock of her life when just days after Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger come to stay, the dead, tortured body of a high-ranking Japanese politician is found in the adjacent hotel room.

Hideo Kobayashi is a relatively young, upcoming progressive politician in the Japanese wizarding government. His monthly journal, “Maguru Musings”, is translated into many languages for wizards across the globe to read and enjoy. He’s just a simple family man trying to make his way in the magical world, until a senior colleague’s murder changes his life forever...

Saskia Marlowe once made history as the first openly-gay captain of a Quidditch team in the British and Irish Quidditch team. Now she’s Kingsley’s new Head of the Department of Magical Games and Sports, with her first task to get Quidditch back on the agenda. But the Quidditch world is facing it’s biggest crisis in history, as the famous Wright family, creators of the world’s golden snitches are caught up in an international match-fixing scandal stretching back years, including to the infamous World Cup final with Bulgaria and Ireland. 

Algernon Avery has never been a particularly pleasant man even going back to his school days. In the summer of 1997, Dean Thomas, and his secret handler, is tasked with the job of finding out what Algernon Avery is up to. Sources in the French Ministry have reported regular sightings of Avery on muggle cruise ships coming into Portsmouth late at night. But what is Algernon Avery smuggling into the country that’s so dangerous he willingly mixes with muggles to try to help hide it? 

David and Hazel Granger are shocked and surprised when they’re reunited with their daughter, who for quite some time, they had forgotten even was their daughter. They concede that Britain, no longer under Tory rule with Labour sweeping the most recent election, may well be a nicer and better place to live, especially as Tony Blair isn’t silly enough to get them involved in any illegal foreign conflicts, but Australia just has better weather, doesn’t it? 

Lucky is a little white Westie, who Dean Thomas rescues from a shelter when he’s looking for company and a four legged friend to help him look less suspicious when spying on Death Eaters. Lucky really likes his new owner Dean, who gives him regular walkies. Lucky, most of all, is just a really good boy.