#i’m also not going to read over this so excuse any typos or messiness
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narutocharacterpolls · 1 year ago
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Now that the semi-finals polls ended, would you like to share your opinion on Kakashi's character? :)
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Pie splat deserved
I think it’s obvious that I take in the story broadly through a Sasuke lens and so the biggest reason I hate Kakashi is because of the way he treats Sasuke. There are other reason sprinkled throughout but that’s why I mainly dislike him.
However firstly, I think it’s obvious based on the group of characters I’ve made clear are some of my favourites, but I’m very anti-Konoha and don’t like bootlickers. So that immediately makes me criticize Kakashi and knocks some respect I could have for him off.
Anyways, Kakashi is incapable of treating team 7, most specifically Sasuke but it does affect all of them, normally because he cannot stop projecting team Minato onto his team, and that heavily affects the ways that he interacts and treats his team. He obviously projects himself onto Sasuke and as a result treats him really weirdly imo due to his own self loathing. He teaches Sasuke (a severely traumatized child) the chidori in an attempt to alleviate his own guilt from creating the jutsu that killed his best friend. I really don’t see much, if any, reason that Kakashi did this outside of his own selfishness and he most certainly didn’t think it through in the context of Sasuke. Again, because he views Sasuke as a reflection of himself rather than being his own unique person. He then goes on to literally tie Sasuke to a tree and scorn him for using the chidori (and may I add— while I’m aware Sasuke asked for the fight against Naruto, Sasuke only raised the chidori in defence when Naruto raised his rasengan) and seeking revenge against Itachi (y’know, the man that killed his entire clan, manipulated him, and tortured him by making him watch Itachi killing his family for 72 hours straight), then he LEFT HIM THERE TIED UP TO THE TREE. Not to mention he once again reflects himself onto Sasuke by saying he personally didn’t seek revenge and chose to move on. They are not in the same situation. At all. Sorry but that just rubs on me very unpleasantly.
A lot of my distaste was actually from him in Shippuuden though because his treatment and attitude towards Sasuke just gets worse. When Sakura tries to go to kill Sasuke and he shows up he decides that getting Sakura and getting out isn’t the right thing to do, but decides it’s his turn to try to kill him….. Ehem….. Alright….. Claims that Sasuke has turned to some kind of dark side but claims Obito to still be a hero of Konoha later on….. What a man. Still on the topic of Sakura trying to kill Sasuke, he criticizes Sasuke not once, but twice (later on during a war…. There are bigger things to focus on here) about how crazy and messed up it was for Sasuke to attack Sakura…. When he didn’t just attack her, he acted in self defence after she tried to kill him. But does Kakashi critique Sakura outside of saying she knows she wouldn’t be able to beat Sasuke? No, he doesn’t.
With Sakura on the mind, literally during war arc (once again, more important things to focus on here) he tells Sasuke that Sakura suffers from loving him and that no one needs a reason to love someone, just to hate someone. This is such disgusting behaviour to me as he once again is discarding Sasukes feelings and what Sasuke has stated he wants. Sasuke had literally just told Kakashi how he feels but Kakashi does not care about what Sasuke desires. But it doesn’t matter to Kakashi because to him Sasuke is a reflection of himself and since Kakashi doesn’t view it that way Sasuke isn’t allowed to. It’s a really gross sentiment.
The whole thing of how Kakashi treated Tobi revealing the truth of the Uchiha genocide and the way he reacted to it is also incredibly upsetting. And that revelation still didn’t change the way Kakashi viewed Sasuke at all. He still felt it was right to try to immediately kill Sasuke rather than… Approach him in a similar way to Naruto. But whatever, I don’t feel like getting much into this whole thing though.
There’s other random things, he’s hypocritical within his view of Sasuke’s revenge, I find him overrated as a “powerful fighter”, I personally find him having the sharingan uncomfortable and undeserved, he did not show care for Sakura in the way he did to the other two in classic, bootlicker Hokage, ect., but I’m not going to delve into anything else because I don’t feel like it lol.
All in all I don’t care about people that do like Kakashi, but it annoys be that he’s so often portrayed as someone that he isn’t. I know there’s some good to Kakashi, I find his back story rather interesting as well, he has handled some things well, but the negatives heavily outweigh the positives for me. To Kakashi lovers that decided to read this, you are valid and it’s okay to like him. I just don’t.
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castlevader · 3 years ago
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The Truth — Andrew!Peter Parker x fem!reader
hello there !! i hope everyone is doing okay, i’m really trying to write something for peggy so stay tuned, i’m struggling with everything i’m sorry. this is just something i wrote last week to try and get over my writing block, sorry in advance if this is shitty or doesn’t make any sense,, sending loads of love !!
WARNINGS: slight angst? happy ending btw + possible typos
WORD COUNT: 967
check this if you wanna be tagged or send a request!
READ ME! english is not my first language, sorry for any possible error. please be kind!
“hey, do you wanna go out tonight?” you rolled your eyes, organising your notes while holding the phone to your ear with your shoulder. “i’m busy.” you replied, trying to sound as distant as you could.
“oh um, can i come over then?” you stopped what you were doing and sighed. “i thought you were smart, peter. i said i’m busy.” after that the both of you stayed silent for a moment, then he finally decided to speak again. “i’ll see you tomorrow?” his voice was full of hope, you felt bad. “peter, i don’t know. i gotta go, bye.” you muttered and then ended the call.
you wanted him to understand that you couldn’t keep going that way. you knew he was hiding something from you, he was always late and he easily forgot things. maybe he was just not interested in you anymore or he was seeing someone else, who knows.
the next day you met him in a market, you were shopping while your mom was working. he wanted to help you, of course, and you simply tried to keep the conversation short.
“you can talk to me, you know?” he cleared his throat and you stopped walking, turning to look at him. “oh really? i can talk to you? i don’t wanna talk to you because this is going to be useless, you’re hardly here, peter. you’re always late, you forget almost everything i say to you, when you show up you’re always so messy and you always fall asleep if we’re spending some time at home.” you felt a tear streaming down your face and quickly wiped it, annoyed by the fact that you were almost crying.
peter just stood there, watching you. he opened his mouth to speak but then closed it again, trying to choose carefully the next words.
“see? you don’t even have an excuse! but you know what? it’s over.” you quickly turned around and walked away. “don’t call me or anything.”
you were sitting at your desk, finishing your homework. you haven’t heard from peter for three weeks now and things went back to normal, or at least with your friends. you were ignoring them for him but it was also because they didn’t truly enjoyed his company (when he was there).
you heard a knock on the window and you didn’t turned at first, thinking you were just imagining things. but then it got louder and when you turned you saw a figure standing out your window.
you got up and slowly walked closer, then you saw the infamous spider-man standing out of your window, waiting for you to open it.
you nervously laughed crossing your arms over your chest and he motioned for you to open the window. you weren’t sure if that was a good idea or not, but you slowly opened it, hoping you wouldn’t regret it.
“i wonder what is spider-man doing at my house.” you muttered, watching him climbing into your room. “good evening.” he simply said and stood right in front of you. “oh my god, this is absurd.” you whispered and tried to go back to your desk, hoping he would leave soon.
spider-man grabbed your hand and made you turn, the two of you were closer than before and you felt a strange feeling of familiarity, but you ignored it.
“i’m here to apologise.” he said and you raised your eyebrows in confusion. “apologise?” you chuckled, everything was getting stranger with every passing moment. “yeah.” he nodded and one of his hand reached for the mask and he slowly took it off.
it was peter. your peter. peter parker was spider-man all along. you couldn’t believe it. it was impossible.
“okay, really funny. you can stop there now.” you pushed him away, it was unbelievable. “i’m not lying, y/n. i am spider-man, and i’ve been a pretty shitty boyfriend. i’m really sorry for my past behaviour but i promise you if you’ll give me one more chance i–” you stopped him before he could finish it. “you–you were spider-man since the beginning.. and you haven’t thought about telling me earlier?” you were nervously playing with your t-shirt, trying to clear your thoughts.
“i mean, how can you tell someone you’re spider-man?” he smiled awkwardly, his cheeks were turning red. “i never wanted to lie to you, but it was too dangerous and i just tried to keep this away from us… but that’s clearly impossible, so here i am.” peter made a turn, making you giggle. “here you are.” you muttered, trying to hold back a smile.
“will you forgive me, then?” his eyes were sparkling with hope and that sweet smile you loved so much was telling you to say ‘yes’ so bad. “i–peter, i just want you to be you when you’re with me… how can i enjoy our time together if you keep acting like you used to?” you bit your lip, afraid to tell him yes. “everything will change, i promise you.” he grabbed your face and gently caressed your cheeks, smiling at you. “a real promise.” you said, looking him in the eyes. “a real promise.” he repeated after you, nodding.
you smiled and circled his neck with your arms, holding him closer. “okay, peter parker.” you whispered before kissing him right on the lips. peter didn’t hesitated and quickly kissed you back, causing you to smile into the messy, but sweet kiss.
“so… i am spider-man’s girlfriend?” you asked once the two of you parted. “if you want.” he said, a bit nervous. “yeah, that’s cool… but i prefer being peter parker’s girlfriend.” you kissed his nose and peter smiled while blushing, he looked at the floor and you found it adorable. “i love you.” you said, before kissing him again.
✿.。.:*TAGLIST*.:。.✿
@xbeauxny @weinersolider @golden-hoax @iwannabekilledtwice @baby-shy @sunwardsss @calisamcro @liamkrantz
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arcadia-city-stories-if · 3 years ago
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TELL ABOUT THE OTHER IF (please💕)
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Gonna answer all these in a one while shovelling my lunch so please excuse typos lol
Under the cut for rambling reasons
Ok so, there's two big differences for me. The main difference number one - the stakes.
Arcadia has been a concept I have been obsessed with for over a year, it's been the thing on my mind that whole time, I know what I want to do for at least 4 books and it takes up the whole of my heart and brain on any given day of the week.
This new one - I came up with on the bus ride to work. Lol.
Difference number two - the demo
The demo for Arcadia (beautiful bane of my life that it is) is very very important for setting up things that will be relevant for a slew of reasons, every single decision makes a difference to the base of the MC's character and incidents and flavour text that will be throughout the whole rest of the book, and I plan to release it as perfect as I can make it so that I don't have to break anyone's saves when I update the chapter after it because I'm afraid y'all wouldn't read it twice lol.
The demo for the new IF would literally be an exercise for me to keep writing little inconsequential bits and pieces and still practice coding with very low stakes involved, and could literally update it in chunks rather than setting lofty goals for myself because I have no self-imposed impossible standards to meet on this one lol.
Now about the other IF!
MC would be a film star at the top of their game, 24, happily married to a renowned musician, successful, media darling, etc etc. But behind the scenes is another matter, within the first year of your marriage you walked in on your spouse naked in bed with their ex, who then went on to sell their story to the tabloids and ever since then your life has been in a constant state of damage control while everyone in your camp tries to work out how you're both going to get through this without destroying both of your careers.
This whole idea came to fruition because the guy I'm working for has celebrity news streaming on the telly in the kitchen all day and y'all, the things I have learnt lol, but there's also a lot of stuff that'd be fun to play with. You're an actor so I'd get to write little scenes that are basically prompts because you're acting and I'd get to deal with some spicier scenes earlier in the game if you chose to play it that way cos celebrities are messy as fuck apparently lol.
Right now I'm thinking there'd be 4 or 5 ROs, the spouse, your childhood friend turned pa, your repeated love interest co-star that people have been publicly shipping you with (think Oscar Isaac and Jessica Chastain, emma stone and gosling, lady gaga and that other guy etc), the behind the scenes person who just works there man, and your new bodyguard hired by the studio because of security concerns.
But again, most of this is stream of consciousness stuff that might not come to anything. I just really don't want my progress with coding to backslide, you know? It's been really hard to get my head around and I finally feel like I'm getting a grasp for it and I don't wanna lose that, but I also don't want to taint my main story with subpar effort just because I'm tired lol you know? Of all the reasons I could screw this up, that one would suck so hard lol
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a-froger-epic · 4 years ago
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Interview with a Queen “groupie”
Cross-posted to AO3. I encourage you to leave any comments you have there.
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I compiled this interview following a long email exchange with J, a very sweet lady who went to Ealing Art School between 1972 and 1974. She knew all four members of Queen personally and was part of their larger circle of friends.
First off, you may find this hard to believe. I don’t blame you. But I assure you I’m not pulling your leg. As well as the pictures I share in this post, I have seen current pictures of J (which I will not share to protect her privacy). There is no indication as far as I am aware that she isn’t who she says she is.
Nastally, hold up. How exactly did you find this lady?
She found me. It turns out that she has been following my story Dawn of Aquarius for quite some time. The story is set in 1969. A lot of research about the era went into it, because I wanted to portray that time period - and Freddie’s and Roger’s surroundings - as accurately and realistically as I possibly could. That was what drew J in. She tells me it brought back a lot of memories for her. One of the reasons I love DoA so much is the nostalgia, she says, which genuinely means the world to me. Eventually, she talked to me in the comment section. Of course, I freaked out!
And then, I asked her for an interview, to which she replied: I will give it a go, but you must remember that I am 65 and there were great drugs in the 70s, and at 16, away from home, I had a lot!
And so...
Here’s what is IMPORTANT TO KEEP IN MIND when you read this interview.
These are one woman’s 50-year-old memories and subjective impressions. J has been incredibly kind to let me pick her brain, trying to recall everything as best as she can. In her own words:
Just remember that when I answer the questions, it is from a 16-year-old who is 9 years younger than Freddie and a little girl with no family and friends in a strange country trying to fit in. The only reason I was there, was because some hippie thought I had a unique art style.
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J as a teenager.
[I have edited the interview together from our long, and somewhat messy at times, email exchange. Typos have been fixed and some punctuation added for clarity, but I have not changed anything J has written to me. Again, bear in mind these are personal opinions and impressions.]
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So, J, how did you end up at Ealing Art School in 1972 and what was it like?
This was the painting done for the Australian school-leaving certificate.
It placed first and gave me a scholarship. I could pick France, the USA or England. As a dual citizen of the UK, the choice was easy. The scholarship paid for board and fees, so had to be and sell whatever for spending money.
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This picture is from the dorm. We all had a 10pm curfew and a very thick rule book that, I am proud to say, I broke every one of them, one by one. The rooms were on the 1st and 2nd floor. We were on the first floor, rooms one side and admin staff the other end. We had two bathrooms for 18 girls. One of them had two baths. The walls were your standard half wall, so it was a given that if you had a bath you run the risk of having a bucket of cold water dropped on you. Downstairs was the kitchen and lounge room.
I want to ask you a few things about life in London in the early 70s, to get a picture of what it was really like. For example, was there alcohol at the music gigs you went to?
If it was a school, church or community hall, no. If it was a pub, yes.
Did you and your friends drink as much then as young people tend to drink now when you all went out?
No, we didn't. I think it had a lot to do with money. We didn't have the disposable income, and it was unheard of to still be living at home with the parents after the age of 20.
Was weed and LSD as big and easily accessible as depictions of the 60s and 70s would have us believe?
The drugs! Got to have drugs. Pot (weed) was easy to grow, very cheap. Used to smoke it in bongs rather than joints, more bang for your buck. Trips [LSD] were cheap, I think. About 2 pounds and you were on the high for over 24 hours with no sleep. My drug of choice was hash. Either the oil or the block. It was a nice high, but you could not function well. But if you listen to the music of the time it really does reflect what it was like, to have a group of friends over for a session. Having said all that the most outlandish and shocking drug I ever saw anyone use was the birth control pill. Didn't you have to hide that stuff away?!
Can you tell us some 70s slang that isn’t really in use anymore? What in the world does “ultra-blagging” mean? (As written in a letter penned by Freddie to his friend Celine in 1969.)
Abso-bloody-lootely!
Man, I thought I was the bees knees to be on a scholarship in London. But that didn't stop me from jigging or having a skive day. They were the days that I blagged my way into a pub, had too many lagers and ended up chundering in the gutter. That was how you knew your night was ace. I would get a right bollocking if anyone found out. It would be a bugger when all that you could find at a car boot sale was chavtastic, but sometimes you could be Jammy Dodger and tickety-boo you find something brilliant. Bob's your uncle. Anyways, I need to see a man about a dog.
[It seems to me that J uses a bit of Australian slang here, like chundering, which makes sense because she is, after all, Australian. She also provided the translation:]
Cheers
J
It would be my honour.
I felt very privileged to be given a scholarship that let me study in England. But being so young and having no family to guide me, it was often tempting to not turn up or give a false excuse for being sick. (I had a lot of food poisoning). These would often happen if the night before I had been drinking beer and ended up vomiting outside the pub. But in my young mind that was a good night. If any of the teachers found me drinking I would be in a lot of trouble. Often I would have to say I was holding it for someone else. Not having much clothes with me, I would buy them second hand from church jumble sales or other students and, yes, Kensington market (the market). Some of the stuff would not be very tasteful or in good condition. But sometimes you would find something that was cheap and in good condition. I will stop this text now as I must go to the toilet.
PS: Ultrablagging sounds very Freddie. Blagging was used, but not ultra, meaning to persuade someone to do something or act better than you are. They were always rock stars.
Sincerely
J
[It was at this point that I realised I was talking to an absolute legend. She also told me then that the majority of her old photographs had sadly been lost when her house was flooded in 1988, including most of the photographs from her stay in London. Noooo! :(]
When you went out to dance, did you have only live music? Were there DJs yet?
You know, that is hard. We did not have a DJ. Sometimes there would be a band. Often we looked for places with a band or the jukebox. I think pubs closed at 10pm and some stayed open to 12 or 1, but public transport stopped at 9. So if you had not arranged a lift then you had to make the last bus. Most of the time we would be heading back to someone's place to get stoned and then crash there. In the morning you would have to work out where you were. When I got back to Australia, the discos were all the rage. They could have been in London too but it was not cool to like disco.
How many people would show up to Queen’s gigs when they played in pubs or at, for example, the Imperial College?
Depending on the location and the night: 10 to 1000!
So how did you first meet the Queen boys?
I was at the pub talking about a band we saw last week when Brian stuck his head into our booth telling us he knew a better one. Thinking about seeing them at the stall... Roger not often, Freddie quite a lot. Often on different stalls, I think that is why I can't remember the name. [The name of the stall. Other sources confirm that Freddie also worked at Alan Muir’s stall, for example, selling shoes.]
How well did you know them?
Just looking at your tumblr account. [she has had a look at my blog, where somebody asked if ‘groupie’ meant she had slept with the band] No, I never slept with the boys. I would not say I was a close friend, but I started at Ealing Art College in ‘72 and moved in the same circles. I loved the music and could be called one of the first groupies. I had to sneak into the pubs because I was 16. Roger always teased me for being so young. They all did seem to be one very large family, not just the band. It was a group of about twenty regulars, both male and female. Everyone knew that Fred was too gay to function. We were all at the gay rights march in London in 1972, had to run after the march. Lots of sharpies [Australian slang: youth gang, thugs] wanting to bash us. Back then I was in every protest that was going, student union rights, even the secretary protest. Just part of the times, stick it to Man or Woman. I left London in ‘74 for Australia, been here ever since and lost track of the boys but have never stopped being a fan.
What do you remember about them? How would you describe their personalities?
Don’t let the trolls hate me, but I did not like Brian. I found him to be rather full of himself. Space was a subject you never brought up around Brian or you would die of old age before he stopped talking. He was always the first to speak and start a conversation and then quickly passed you off to John, who was always tired and shy. Roger was also quite shy at times. He was very self-conscious of his looks, as he felt being pretty, nobody would take him seriously. Fred, well, he was not yet the big star, so I think he was working on his stage persona. When talking to groups at parties, he had the best stories of things that had happened to him or close friends. They were very funny and very descriptive. He was the life of the party. When he had a few to drink or was the centre of attention, he would take a cigarette out of the closest person’s hand and start smoking. Now remember this is the point of view of a 16-year-old girl that was a fish out of water, trying to fit in and not having much worldly experience.
It is said that Freddie and Roger were very stylish. How did they dress in everyday life?
Fred would do his hair and makeup to check the mail. Yes, he was always turned out, but so were a lot of people. Freddie did go over the top with hats, scarfs and jewellery. With Roger, it is a surprise he was able to have kids his jeans were that tight. And his shirts were always open unless he was in a jumper. I think it could have been so that you knew he was male, as it was the start of the unisex clothing. When I travelled out of London I realised it was a London thing. When I got back to Australia everyone thought I was a show-off.
There are some disagreements about how tall especially Freddie was. I know this is a difficult thing to try and remember accurately. But do you remember?
Freddie was taller than me but everyone was. Roger was shorter than Fred, but I never saw Roger in platform shoes. I did meet up with the band by chance at Sydney airport in 1984, said ‘hello’ but they did not remember me, or if they did then they did not say anything and I did not want to be a dork. At that time Fred was the same height as me (5ft 8in/1.72m), Roger was taller than me. It made me think at the time that he had a growth spurt! John was shorter than me and Brian has always been tall. [I have a feeling the platform shoes - or lack thereof - played a vital role here! Although 172cm for Freddie seems likely.]
You said everyone knew Freddie was “too gay to function”. Attitudes towards homosexuality have changed so much that it can be hard for us, now, to fathom what exactly people must have thought of him. Was it more of a joke that he was so camp? Was it something he would have been teased for? Also, he had a girlfriend. Did you ever meet Mary or the other girlfriends?
In 1972 a whole group of us - and I am pretty sure that Fred, Roger, Brian and Tim were there - were in a gay pride march. [Since then, J has found and showed me a picture of a boy she thought was Tim Staffel, and it wasn't, so Tim was most definitely not there. Whether Freddie, Roger and Brian really were there or if J is misremembering, who knows?] Us youth believed you could not choose who you fell in love with and if it was same sex, so what? However, if it was two girls then it was every guy’s duty to change her!
It was also a time that the gayer the guy was, the more the girls were interested. Also, if a guy was gay then you did not have to worry about him and he was a good person to take with you if you were going out drinking. However, the police, parents, teachers and anyone of authority were horrified and treated them badly. I did meet Mary a couple of times at pubs and once after a gig. This is just my opinion, but I found her a bitch. It could be that I was so young. It could be that I was very Australian. It could be that she felt threatened as my accent was a magnet to people around. And the boys (Queen) were no exception. Brian had a cousin in OZ and was always asking questions. I remember that my close group of friends thought that Mary made the perfect girlfriend for Fred as they were as fake as each other. Having said that about them, I often wonder if I would think the same now and if my perceptions were just because she would not give me the time of Day. Chrissy and Jo were a lot of fun.
This was before your time, but I read that Freddie's nickname at Ealing Art School was ‘Freddie Baby’. Any ideas how this came about? His showmanship or maybe personality traits?
I don't think so. There were an older crowd that would talk like that. I think the slang ‘baby’ was a 60’s thing, like groovy baby.
How long, roughly, did Roger and Freddie have their stall? I can't find anywhere when it closed down. What did it actually look like? Was it a sort of wooden stall type of thing? Or an actual room? What were some of the other things people sold at Kensington Market? Mostly clothes or all sorts?
The markets were little divided shops. The back was brick and the walls wood. I have been trying all day to remember the name. [Of the stall.] I think it was something hard to say. More often than not it would be Freddie's dad in the store. It was still open when I left. Roger and Freddie were both in the store on Saturdays and some Sundays. There was a girl, I think Jill, who was in the store more. And during the week it could be anyone. You name it and you could get it at the markets. Second hand or designer clothes, shoes, jewellery, pot and assortments. Hair cuts, food, bric-a-brac.
Wait, wait. What? Freddie’s dad? Really now?
Yeah, it was an older Indian man. so we just assumed it was his father. It was my understanding that he started the stall then the boys would work it as the whole markets were set up for younger people, but if needed he would work there. I don't think the boys would be able to pay the rent on their own. [I have since found out that the stall closed in late 1971, and Freddie continued to work at the Market until '74, for Alan Mair and possibly others. So the stall J witnessed wasn't their original stall - explaining all the different people she saw there - but she had no way of knowing that it wasn't.] They always had incense burning that was very big in the 70s. I still occasionally bring out the sticks, but it does not last like the candles and diffusers of today. If you could get in touch with Robert Daniels, he ran ChaChaDumDum it was the stall across from Freddie. He would know the dates.
[J says it’s this look, in a picture she happened across while looking at my tumblr] Yep, that is the one. It usually means that he does not believe or agree with something that was said and is working out how to respond, or he has lost the plot.
You mentioned Roger seemed shy to you at times. Was he also quite charming? We read a lot about what a chick magnet he was. Was this the impression you had?
My favorite subject! I had a thing for Roger. Everyone has a type and mine is the blue-eyed blond. Now, before you ask, was he brunet? No, he was a mouse/dirty blond. If it was summer he would have blond streaks mostly at the ends. He knew he was pretty and was always dressed in the latest fashion and had the current hairstyle. So, being my type I was constantly watching him. Everyone slept around during that time. I did not notice Roger doing it more or less. 80% of the time he was with Jo. Yes, he was a chick magnet, but he did not do the chasing. He was always very polite to everyone. If it ever looked like there would be any conflict he would be the first to leave it. It was not that he was a coward, just not into conflict. If he saw anyone that needed help he was right there, and often had to have Freddie's back. I never saw him in a fight. He could always talk his way out of things. He was also very patient and would listen for hours to other people talk. However, he would get this vacant look in his eyes at times.
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And Freddie would either click his fingers, change the subject or just give up. I don’t think that Brian noticed, and it would be fair game for John, he would see how far he could push it. Roger liked to drink a fair bit and when drunk he would be hanging all over Jo. If she was not there then he missed Jo. If, however, he thought that he or his friends were not being respected, then look out! It was a verbal volcano heading your way. That is what happened to me one time. I was trying to talk with my friends close to where a drunken Roger was and I yelled at him to shut the hell up, you wannabe blond. We/I coped a mouthful back, all in the same sentence, that finished with: Sorry, I didn't realise you were on your rags (period)! I have to have the last word, so I told him the truth: I don’t get them yet! (I was a late starter.) He went so red in the face and called me JB [jail bait] from then.
You also mentioned Roger’s cat Ziggy having kittens. I read about this but never when exactly it was. Do you remember?
I think it was winter ‘73. I remember being cold when he was asking around the pub. [To find homes for the kittens, I gather.]
Is it quite strange reading fictional interpretations of real people you knew? When did you first find out there was Queen fanfic?
No, we used to make up stories about people all the time, a verbal fanfic. Was looking up Adam Lambert and came across the fanfics. Some had me in stitches! Others, like DoA, had me hooked.
Please, allow me to be a little self-indulgent at the end. What's one thing I got totally RIGHT in DoA?
All the Ibex stuff.
What's one thing I got totally WRONG in DoA?
Roger did not have a temper, and I don’t know what the go with his father was, but he would talk about him quite a bit and was always visiting his mum. [Absolutely fair, not only did I change the timeline of Roger’s parents divorce in DoA - for lack of information at the time - but also created a completely fictional narrative around it for the sake of storytelling.]
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J, thank you so much for all this, sincerely. Can you tell me a little more about yourself? Are you still an artist?
I don't paint or draw any more. At the age of a 50 the doctors operated on an aneurysm or three, and now my eyesight is very bad, I have no fine motor skills and a tremor. I was married in January 1984 and have just celebrated our 37 year anniversary. I have one daughter who is 30 and two great, although tiring grandkids. A girl, 11, and one boy, 5. I have lived my life as the average middle class Australian with great memories. Talking with you has helped me a lot to remember a time when the world was mine for the taking. When I returned to OZ I started nursing, met my best friend, and we planned that once we graduated we would go back to London to study midwifery. But I fell in love instead.
J's wedding in 1984. As you can see, she found her own blue-eyed blond.
---
Upon request, J has shared some of her past and present artwork with me.
These are from her time at Ealing Art School:
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These were done later, back in Australia:
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J: Did this just before Christmas as you had inspired me. It did not require fine motor skills!
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So there you have it! I hope you found this little glimpse through a 16-year-old girl’s eyes as much of a fascinating read as I did. I urge everybody one more time to remember that J did not have to share any of this, and I think we all owe her a big thank you for delving into her memories. She is likely to see the responses on AO3, so I have comment moderation enabled there as I will not let anybody harass this lovely lady. The tumblr she created is @since72, but she isn’t really an active user and also very new to it all. Again, I can only urge everybody to be respectful.
If you have other burning question for J, feel free to leave them in the comments on AO3. I will either pass them on, or she may want to reply to them herself directly.
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fru1tbatzz · 4 years ago
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stars
pairing: obi wan x jedi!gn!reader 
type: fluff
word count: 1,055
summary: You loved Obi-Wan and he was completely oblivious. On a trip to Naboo for negotiations, you can’t sleep. Conveniently for you, Obi-Wan can’t either. You find him sitting outside leaning against the pillar of a building and you join him.
warnings: fluff, slowburn, me not entirely knowing how naboo works or how to write obi’s character. i also dont know how constellations work and we’re gonna pretend the constellations from our world are in their world. typos.
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⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰
You walked out of your temporary quarters in Naboo dressed in your pajamas covered by your Jedi robes. You didn’t want to wake anyone up by walking around. The soft tap of your feet against the floor echoed throughout the hallways. You didn’t bother putting on any kind of shoes, figuring it’d make too much noise. You just needed to walk around to clear your mind. 
Stopping at a window you looked out over the city. Lights from the buildings mixing together with the night sky. The world seemed peaceful, despite all the war. Looking over the gorgeous city was almost therapeutic. The sky was full of stars. The moon hidden behind a few stray clouds. Time seemed slow all of a sudden. You wished you could feel like this forever. “But I’ve got a place in this war..” You mumbled to yourself. 
I should get some air. The air in the hallway seemed stiff. You were really just looking for an excuse to convince yourself to go outside. This beautiful planet combined with the calm feeling of the night was exquisite. You’d always had issues with containing stress and emotions. The Jedi code forcing emotions down never made any sense to you. It seemed impossible. Being on this planet in the quiet calm twilight helped you destress; for some reason.
You walked outside, trying to be as quiet as possible. The silhouette of a tall masculine figure stood before you, leaning against a pillar silently. You stared for a bit, not wanting to disturb him. Though it was too late. A posh accent spoke, seeming too loud for the quiet atmosphere.
“I know you’re there.”
You flinched at his words, though not threatening in the slightest, it startled you. 
“What are you doing out here this late?” You didn’t think anyone would be awake at this hour.
“I could ask you the same thing, darling.” He turned to face you. “Well?”
The moon escaped the prison the clouds had trapped it in, illuminating Obi-Wan’s shape. His hair was messy, and he looked slightly disheveled. Not exactly a look you’d seen on him often. You don’t even think you’ve ever seen him look stressed. Regardless, he was just as amazing as always.
“I couldn’t sleep so I decided to go for a small stroll around.” You shifted uncomfortably. You didn’t know how to talk to him alone. Would you get in trouble for being out? No, that doesn’t make sense, he’d get in trouble too.
Obi-Wan turned back around and sat on the ground. Patting the ground beside him he spoke again, “Come sit with me then. Tell me what’s actually bothering you.” 
You took the spot next to him, refusing to make eye contact and instead looking up at the sky. “The city lights drown out the stars.” You spoke softly. Starting a conversation without being awkward seemed difficult. Being this close to Obi-Wan made your heart race. One wrong word and you could ruin everything. 
Obi-Wan realized you changed the subject entirely. Though, that was expected. You weren’t exactly close to each other. To him, it seemed you avoided him. You had a nervous energy around him. The reason was difficult to pinpoint. 
“They may, but it’s still quite pretty.” He replied, looking at you. The moon shone against your skin. You looked gorgeous to him in this moment. Though he’d never admit it, he was very fond of you. More than he should be.
“So.. What’s bothering you? Why’re you up so late?” You noticed he was looking at you, but you ignored it. The thought of making eye contact with him was terrifying. You knew that if he found out your feelings for him, it would all be over. All the years of training, the memories, the experiences, would all be a waste. 
He sighed. You’d never seen him like this. Obi-Wan Kenobi, the perfect Jedi. Always composed and focused. Yet falling apart right in front of you. “As Jedi, we’re supposed to be peacekeepers, but because of this war our reputation is declining. Jedi aren’t as looked up to as they used to be. Younglings are being taught to fight in a war.” He looked away from you, looking up at the sky.
“It’ll be over soon. It can’t go on forever.” You look at him and offer a smile. 
Obi-Wan hums in agreeance and continues to look at the night sky. 
“If you look hard enough you can see some constellations. I can see little dipper!” Trying to lighten the mood you continue the talk about stars.
He stays silent. Distracted by something you couldn’t see.
You continued your attempt. “I wonder what other constellations I can see..” Looking up at the sky intently, you try to make out shapes in the stars.
Obi-Wan clears his throat. “I think I’ll head back to my quarters now. Goodnight.” He stood and began to walk back. You followed and grabbed his wrist. “Something’s bothering you, I can tell.”
He looked at you in the eyes. For a second you see some emotion you can’t understand. You look at each other for a few silent moments.
Being so close to him made you feel jittery. The silence was terrifying. 
For some reason, you moved in, closing your eyes. You kissed him. 
His body flinched. He seemed to object this action at first, but kissed you back.
You pulled away. You were panicking internally but you couldn’t do anything now. Expecting him to tell you he was gonna report you to the council as soon as it was daylight. 
“Why’d you do that?” He asked quietly. Almost a whisper. He still seemed shocked at your action.
“I.. I’m not sure..” You’re already this far in. Just tell him “I just.. I love you, I guess?” You were crying at this point. So scared that your role, your place, your life, was compromised. 
He grabbed your hand and cupped it in his palms. He seemed soft. “I love you too, I really do.” 
“You’re not gonna report me-?” 
He shook his head quietly. You couldn’t read his expression. You didn’t understand what was going on. 
Holding your hand, he lead you back to the place you were sitting. 
“Shall we continue our little conversation about the stars?” 
You hummed in response, leaning against him. 
end
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shysneeze · 4 years ago
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changing seasons (george weasley x fem!reader)
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changing seasons 
description: adult relationships are complicated and painful, a fact George and the reader now far too well 
warnings: angst, a fleeting allusion to smut, brief passing mentions of food. 
a/n: excuse any typos, i wrote this as 3am and wasnt wearing glasses.
...
(Y/N) (Y/L/N) always comes when George least expects it, a knock on his door that turns a normal day into a fond memory. Even ruffled from international portkey travel, tumbling into the apartment to collapse tiredly on the couch, messy and unorganised, her arrival sends a smile straight to his cheeks every time.
Today she appears in the shop, grinning at him from the door and waving dramatically at him. He’s barely out from behind the till before she’s launching herself into his arms with a squeal.
“George!” She exclaims. “I’ve missed you!”
He takes a second to respond, dazed again as he usually is by her sudden appearances. He waits until he’s placing her down on the ground again to answer with a smile.
“I’ve missed you too, (Y/N).” He chuckles. “What on earth are you doing here?”
“The shop or the country?”
“Both.” He snorts.
“Well, as MACUSA recognises my top notch auror qualities, they’ve rewarded me a holiday and i figured the best place to spend it would be with my favourite red head”
she blinks up at him with a smile, one that has his grin growing wider, a talent she’s perfected after years of practice. She was his bestfriend through Hogwarts, before she moved to America for her dream job. Her visits though, can makke it feel normal, as though she never left in the first place.
“Don’t let Fred hear you say that.” He jokes. “You’ll bruise his ego.”
“You appear to be running the shop on your own today.” She observes. “Plus he could do with his ego being taken down a few.”
“He’s out on a lunch date with Angelina.” George informs. “He’ll be back soon for you to bully.”
“The excitement is killing me already.”
Grinning at her, he can’t help the urge to pull her into a second hug, wrapping his arms around her tightly as he always does when she comes back from the states, making up for all the hugs they’ve missed .
“Listen, the afternoon rush is about to start...” He admits once pulling away. “You can wait upstairs if you like.”
“That sounds great.”
“You can help yourself to anything in the kitchen.” He assures. “Most of its Fred’s.”
She nods, giving him one final smile and making her way up the stairs as has become her tradition after arrival. Right on cue, George calls her name softly and she turns back to him again to catch the warmth in his eyes.
“It’s good to have you back.”
“It’s good to be here, Georgie.”
...
She’s lying on his sofa wearing one of his shirts when he retires from work for the day. Head flung back against one of the arm rests, she holds a book above her, precariously hung from her finger tips as she reads.
He can feel the warmth flooding his chest at the sight and he’s quick to kick his shoes off to join her, flopping down on to the cushion at the other end of the sofa and stretching his legs until they tangle with her own.
“How was your shift?”
“Grueling.” He confesses with a chuckle. “Did you steal all the biscuits?”
“Only the ones I like.”
She seems to finish the chapter she’s on before shutting the book, sliding it onto the coffee table. She gifts him a soft look, sitting up to our stretch her hands in an attempt to express her desire for a hug, one he’s seen so often he doesn’t even need to decipher it.
As is their usual routine, he mimics her action until a grin stretches at her lips and she’s clambering forward and landing haphazardly on his chest, her head beneath his chin and her arms wrapped around his torso.
Her visits might be sporadic and often brief, but to George they’re everything. It’s a relationship not many have tried to understand, the way she appears on his doorstep and in an hours time ends up on his arms, all without the label of being his girlfriend.
They wouldn’t trade it though, not the conversation, the cuddles or the kisses, for a anything else the world could give them.
“Thank you for always being here for me whenever i get back.” She whispers into the quiet apartment. “You’re the best.”
George is almost too distracted by the rise and fall of her chest felt on his, on the way her gentle breaths fill the silent apartment and how she fits him perfectly, as if they were made for this exact situation. Then, kissing her head gently he replies.
“Anything.” He exhales. “Anything for you, (Y/N).”
The next thing she wants to say is always too far, though it’s absence lingers in the air, palpable almost. No matter how much it’s true though, she can’t bring herself to say it, the thought of doing so cracking her heart into pieces, because it wouldn’t be fair.
Telling George she loves him would cross a line that would only make their unspoken arrangement more complicated, but it’s sits their on her tongue threatening to burst out with every touch, every squeeze of her hips, of his finger tips on the nape of her neck as he pulls her closer and the feel of their lips pressed together.
...
He’s perfected the act of pretending not to notice that she’s pulling away to leave again, of acting as though he can’t hear the American twang in her voice sometimes, a reminder that in a true reality, she live miles across the world. 
They spent their time wrapped in their own cocoon, hidden from the world of those who don’t understand that a week of love is enough to make up for a year of silence, of frost covered gardens and wilted wild flowers.
He tells himself over and over that it’s enough, but as the days go on, the unspoken words are louder than the others. Affectionate conversations spoken into hushed silences in his bedroom begin to fill with holes where the truth should lie. The truth that in a few short days she’ll have to leave.
It comes just over a week after her arrival, and in her usual fashion, she slips from the covers in the early morning, grimacing as her top toes footsteps are annunciated by creaky floorboards just as she’s trying to sneak away.
She fixes him one last glance as she stands in the door way ready to leave, an aching longing in his bones just to crawl back into bed again, to live the rest of her life with him here in this apartment.
However, an adult life of work calls for her in the states, and has her reluctantly turning her back on George, sleeping soundly, oblivious to her departure as she creeps down the hall.
She’s flinging her shoes on when Fred appears from the other rend of the narrow corridor leading the the front door, arms folded across his chest with a frown. She stills from her ministrations, gulping at the angry look he’s giving her.
“You’re away again.”
It’s not a question, but a painful truth to which she can only nod and drop her eyes guiltily. Fred sighs loudly, shaking his head in disapproval.
“I’m sorry.” She exhales. “I don’t like leaving.”
“Why do you?”
“I have work, Freddie.” She sighs. “You know how hard i worked for this job and I can’t lose it-“
“But you’re quite happy to lose him.”
She flinches, biting her lip to avoid tears. Fred’s always disapproved, ever since she announced her job plans all those years back at Hogwarts. He could see the thought of losing her breaking his brother’s hearts, but he could also see it just as obviously on her own face every time their eyes met.
“That’s what’s going to happen though.” He continues. “He’s going to get fed up of the week long visits and shitty letters.”
“It’s a demanding job-“
“it’s a great job, (Y/N).” He assured sadly. “We’re both very proud of you for it and you had to give up so much to get it, but you were supposed to give up George... it would be less painful for both of you to give him up.”
“I can’t give him up.” She informs guiltily. “It’s selfish and hurts to leave but i can’t give him up.”
“You have to.” Fred informs. “You don’t see how he gets jittery every time an owl taps the window incase it’s you, or how, after you’re gone, it takes days for him to deal with the fact you’ve left again.”
She doesn’t realise she’s crying until he’s crossing the space between them pull her into his chest. He then a soothing hand down her back despite his anger and exhales a sigh as she begins to cry.
“I love him, Fred.”
“I know.”
“I’ve never loved anything as much as i love him.” She elaborates, though muffled my Fred’s shirt. “Leaving him hurts every time, but it would hurt more to say goodbye for good.”
“You need to make a decision.” Fred explains, pulling back to fix her a more sympathetic look. “If you love him as much as you say you do, you have to leave and stop coming back.”
Her breath catches with a chocked gasp, she blinks up at him, expelling fat tears that roll down her cheeks and his the wooden floor.
“You can’t keep stringing him out the way you are.” He says. “Because the more you leave the worse it gets.”
 It makes sense, it makes so much sense it hurts. She’s been clinging to him like the last frost of winter on newly forming buds. She’s holding him back selfishly from the chance of love with another, love with someone less complicated. She needs to let him go, she’s known it for so long but as she goes to explain it to Fred, it catches on her throat and a fresh set of tears fall from her eyes.
“Tell him I’m sorry.” She pleads. “Tell him that i love him.”
“Okay.” Fred nods. “I will.”
“Thank you...” She whispers shakily.
“I know.” He assures.
She nods, turning in a sort of daze to sort her shoes. She’s doesn’t offer Fred another hug, knowing it will only drag out the pain. Instead she opens the door of their flat and pauses in the doorway.
“Bye, Fred.” She says finally. “I-“
“I know you didn’t mean to hurt him.” Fred reassures. “Life got complicated after Hogwarts.”
“That’s one way of saying it.” She sniffles.
“He loves you too.”
She can only nod again, taking a deep breath as she steps from the apartment. Fred watched her go, heart pounding from what he’s just done, the inevitable the couple has been putting off until now.
He’s shutting the door when he hears footsteps behind him, turning to George, store triedly with a knowing look in his eyes.
“She’s gone.”
“I don’t think she’s coming back.” Fred admits. “I’m sorry, George.”
George shakes his head, shoving his hands into his pockets and holding his shoulders high to come across as unbothered as his brother comes toward him.
“She said she’s sorry.” Fred continues. “And that she loves you.”
Clapping a hand in his brother’s shoulder, Fred passed by him to put the kettle on for a warm drink. George stands crestfallen in the hallway staring at the shut door she’s just left.
She comes like spring, happy colours and bright days, but she leaves like summer, a threatened departure that goes on for ever until suddenly the dark is creeping in earlier and the bitter cold settles deep in his bones.
He’ll miss her like the heat of the sun on a cold autumn evening, he always does, but where there was always the anticipation of spring to come, there is only the dread of long cold nights alone.
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katnissmellarkkk · 4 years ago
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Okayyyy here comes the next chapter ! Number .... lemme look. Okay, number six! 🥳🥳🥳
And yes, my thoughts as usual will be a messy, very Everlark-biased and full of typos. Letsss gooooo 🥰🥰🥰
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Is this the first time Katniss and Peeta have been to their floor or is this just the most opportune time to explain and introduce the Tribute Center living quarters?
Also why are they called tributes anyway? That word suddenly seems weird to me after nine years... 🤔🤔🤔
“I've ridden the elevator a couple of times in the Justice Building back in District 12. Once to receive the medal for my father's death and then yesterday to say my final goodbyes to my friends and family” .... 😶😶 so only good memories and connotations to elevators then, huh?
“The walls of this elevator are made of crystal so that you can watch the people on the ground floor shrink to ants as you shoot up into the air.” My mind is just imagining the elevator in Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone’s Spider-Man movies 🤗.
“It's exhilarating and I'm tempted to ask Effie Trinket if we can ride it again, but somehow that seems childish” this is so cute and innocent omg. Katniss, like I said in my last chapter blog, still has some childlike innocence left in her 🥺🥺🥺. I’m a sad.
Also excuse the unnecessary extra gif use but 🤭🤭🤭
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Oh wow, so Haymitch hasn’t been around since they were on the train? No wonder neither Katniss nor Peeta fled they could trust him for basically the entirety of the first book. 😐😐😐
You know it’s bad when Effie being around feels like a blessing to Katniss. Girl has more restraint than me, I’d have ripped off this woman’s janky wig by now without remorse. 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️
Effie acts like they’re her purebred show dogs. I know I know how is this news, that’s a blatant fact. The movies really softened her up tho for the general audience. And I bleed the movies and books together more than I should 😔😔😔
Well at least she’s made herself useful, trying to get Everlark sponsors ... even if it’s ultimately to benefit herself above anyone else .... 😤
Effie calling Twelve barbaric while she’s preparing them for the slaughter isn’t even ironic it’s like literally just brainless. Johanna probably had the nickname floating around for a lot of people before she officially knighted Katniss with it 😭
“Everyone has their reservations, naturally. You being from the coal district.” Is this how they refer to Twelve? So basically if a district makes a better item, it’s a more worthy one in the Capitol’s eyes? So essentially, if District Eight made like diamonds or pearls or whatever then it would be more worthy? So are the districts assigned their numbers (one, two, three, four, etc) based on their order of importance to the Capitol’s lifestyle? I always thought it was based on their distance in relation to the Capitol? Okay so I didn’t really pay much attention to these facts previously when I read these books ok look away I’m an idiot
Omg 😭😭😭😭 Effie is such an idiot. But the coal turns to pearls thing is my favorite line from her only because it serves as the cutest inside joke when Peeta makes a callback to it in Catching Fire and Finnick is just like “why are these two teenagers so stupid who did I ally with? 🥵😳🥵😳🥵”
“I wonder if the people she's been plugging us to all day either know or care.” After reading Songbirds and Snakes, I’m sure they don’t have a clue, boo. 😑😑😑😑 although not everyone was an idiot back then ... maybe Snow is putting lead in the drinking water?
“But don't worry, I'll get him to the table at gunpoint if necessary.” I know she’s trying to help and I know we say this kind of thing today, but considering this is two kids she’s well aware will be heading into a death match this is just bad wording I know surprise surprise 🙄🙄🙄😬😬😬😬
“Although lacking in many departments, Effie Trinket has a certain determination I have to admire.” Katniss really does see the best in people. What’s sad, y’all, is I think Katniss unconsciously really tries to like people and that’s why she has her guard up so high. Because the softer you are, the easier people will step all over you. Terrible phrasing here, Samantha, I’m so sorry to any of my readers ... okay now that sounded arrogant, implying I have readers 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤣😅🤣😅🤣😅
“My quarters are larger than our entire house back home.” Omg? I mean, yes, I knew this already obviously no duh but like also. Just the fact that three people live in a space smaller than a bedroom and bathroom arena is saddy sad sad. Also do they have indoor plumbing in the Seam or is their backyards just full of—okay, I’ll see myself out. 😶🤭😅🙃
“The shower alone has a panel with more than a hundred options you can choose regulating water temperature, pressure, soaps, shampoos, scents, oils, and massaging sponges.” I’m just imagining a Spongebob scene ngl.
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I’m sorry there’s so many gifs this time around it’s probably taking us out of the reading headspace I’ll never do it again 😩😩😩😩 I talk like I have a class of people listening to me 🤭🤭🤭
“Instead of struggling with the knots in my wet hair, I merely place my hand on a box that sends a current through my scalp, untangling, parting, and drying my hair almost instantly” I need this someone invent this NOW my brush is yanking out my hair 😔😩
“I program the closet for an outfit to my taste.” ‘Yes, Alexa, I’d like a hunting jacket, some boots and a green shirt. Yes, it can be brown.’
“You need only whisper a type of food from a gigantic menu into a mouthpiece and it appears, hot and steamy, before you in less than a minute.” I like this idea because it means that Peeta could order hot choccy to comfort Katniss after her nightmares in Catching Fire from the comfort of her their own bed. 🤗🤗🤗 also I want this for myself. The bad people are giving my greedy self ideas look away everyone 😬
“I walk around the room eating goose liver and puffy bread until there's a knock on the door.” 🤢🤢🤢🤢 Of everything you could have chosen, child, this is what you decided on? Someone help my girl and her rotten tastebuds now.
“Effie's calling me to dinner. Good. I'm starving.” Baby, you were just eating. She’s so nutritionally messed up. 😔😔😔
Katniss trying wine 🥳🥳🥳 she’s so funny, trying to find a way to improve the taste 😅. She’ll make a good taste tester for her baker husband one day.
Hahahaha Katniss not liking the feeling and judging Haymitch for always being tipsy. Also this is sad because she ends up addicted to morphling later one which is far worse than a little wine.
I’m glad to know Baked Alaska survived the apocalypse 😅🥳
Katniss just constantly trying to decipher the recipe of every meal and how to recreate it reads cute on a surface level but it’s actually so tragic because everything to this girl is based around food. Like even more than is typically noticed. They really should have given a hint at this in the first movie. Good thing she marries a man who can always keep her full.
I’m just forever side-eyeing you, Gare Bear.
That’s Gary Ross for the confused kids in the back.
Why does Katniss yelling mid-sentence, “oh! I know you!” add to her innocence? 🥺 it’s because she was overwhelmed by all the food and new luxuries she’d never even been able to imagine ... and also this is pre her first games so she’s still got some childhood left in her 😩😔
I wonder how Lavinia felt seeing Katniss volunteer and knowing she’d be her Avox? I wonder if she, like Cinna, somehow volunteered to be her Avox?
I mean ... talk about convenient placement that this specific girl was assigned to Katniss’ district—oh wait, y’all, I just caught myself. She’s from Twelve. She was assigned to Twelve’s tributes because she’s from there, duh. I’m such an airhead omg just call me Effie.
Don’t you actually dare.
“When I look back, the four adults are watching me like hawks.” Meanwhile, Peeta is just like 😬😬😬 eating his dinner.
Actually, ngl, this could be such a reach and it probably is but like maybe Peeta sensed a confrontation coming and, because of his implied upbringing, he naturally becomes silent or makes himself invisible when trouble starts looking like it’s gonna arise. 🥺🥺🥺 I don’t know why I say these things I’m just hurting my own feelings but ya know the drill. I thought it so I said it.
Why is Effie yelling at Katniss for saying she knows the Avox girl like omg overreaction much? And I know, the sky is blue 🙄🙄🙄 she’s prejudiced against basically everyone, I know, I know
Rip her wig off, Katty Deen 🤗🤗🤗
Oh I stupidly forgot that Avoxes are supposedly known by everyone to be traitors or criminals. So I suppose this isn’t Effie’s worst offense but I’m keeping a tally anyways
Katniss is blaming her stuttering on the wine but my girl just has social anxiety 😔😔😔
Peeta coming in with a save 😭😭😭 he’s already trying saving his girl 🤧
Alsoooo the unspoken friendship, the covering for the other and teaming up against the adults, is still riding high and going strong here 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 look away, y’all, the shipper comments are coming in strong
Also why is this the first real interaction with Peeta in this chapter yet? My baby needs more page-time 🤭🤭🤭
“Delly Cartwright is a pasty-faced, lumpy girl with yellowish hair who looks about as much like our server as a beetle does a butterfly.” Now why did Katniss just tear Delly to shreds for no reason at all 😭😭😭 this was a surprise assault on the poor girl 🙃🙃🙃🙃
“She may also be the friendliest person on the planet - she smiles constantly at everybody in school, even me.” Okay not to tie absolutely everything back to Peeta ... but to tie absolutely everything back to Peeta ... this description of poor, sweet Delly is actually indicative of Peeta’s character? Since Delly, we find out in Mockingjay, is Peeta’s childhood best friend, her personality being this sunny, kind, good-natured person tells us Peeta has always probably been somewhat like her and perhaps not as much like the other town kids Katniss implies to be stuck up or snooty. Maybe Katniss is just shady and deflects onto others 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️.
Also the fact that she gives this like ... mean description of Delly but saw Peeta as popular, even though surely Delly and Peeta spent time at school together, implies further that Katniss did indeed harbor a secret crush on Peeta even before the reaping. A very mild comparison of his on her though, of course 😅😅😅
“It must be the hair” “something about the eyes too” their piggybacking on the other’s comments really is just chiefs kiss 😘🤗🥰🤧 FYI I know the saying is chefs kiss but I made the typo once a long time ago and decided to add it forever to my brand 🤗🙃🥳
Also though this Everlark interaction is reminiscent of when two kids get caught by their teacher goofing off in class and covering for each other 🥰 only it’s a lot more deadly stakes
“A few of the other couples make a nice impression, but none of them can hold a candle to us.” She’s so modest 🤧🤧🤧 her narration here and during the Tribute Parade just has the vibes of ... well .... sorry in advance
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Haymitch’s comment “Just the perfect touch of rebellion. Very nice” leads me to think he and Cinna and maybe Portia were always in cahoots about the rebellion even before Katniss and Peeta came along and well ... lit their match on fire 🥁🤗🤣🤭
Katniss is like “rebellion??? Rebellion where??? What’s that you old people speak of???” And yet, girlfriend goes out to the woods and hunts illegally every day of her life 🤣🤣🤣🤣.
“But when I remember the other couples, standing stiffly apart, never touching or acknowledging each other, as if their fellow tribute did not exist” too lazy too look it up but there’s a quote from Ballad about Lucy Gray and Jessup being distinguished by their visible friendship too that set them apart from the other tributes.
Either Suzanne thought of drawing a nice parallel showing what a failed Everlark attempt looks like, because I firmly stand by the fact that without their real feelings behind their act, even Katniss’ unconscious ones, they wouldn’t have pulled it off, or Suzzie just reused her own content. I prefer the former but I think it’s probably the latter 🤭🤭🤭
“Now go get some sleep while the grown-ups talk." I know Haymitch is being facetious here but this quote reminded me of the fact that the movies would have hit differently if they’d cast actual sixteen year olds in the roles.
“When we get to my door, he leans against the frame, not blocking my entrance exactly but insisting I pay attention to him.” This is such a flirty, high school boy pose, you cannot convince me otherwise 😭😭😭
Also I definitely feel like Peeta is getting more and more confident here because he’s oblivious to Katniss’ inner monologue as much as she is his actually we all are his sadly and he probably thinks she’s starting to like him 🤧🤧🤧
“So, Delly Cartwright. Imagine finding her lookalike here." 🤣 He honestly cracks me up idk why this line isn’t even special or that great. He’s just so ... subtly nosy / funny. Which brings me to that quote from Mockingjay where Katniss talks about his sense of humor because it’s one of the things she loves most about him 😭😭😭
But he’s like, “I can keep a secret, Katniss, tell me who that tongueless chick is to you 😬”
Katniss stop talking about debts, friends cover for the other all the time 🙄🙄 I know it’s in her character stop yelling at a fish for swimming that’s not a real phrase I know that too
Okay first of all, they’re about to share a secret 🥰🥰🥰🥰. My shipper goggles are on tight and obstructing my vision. I know this and am proud 😬🥳🤗
And secondly, “Maybe sharing a confidence will actually make him believe I see him as a friend.” Hey, butthead, you two are already friends. She doesn’t even recognize that the girl who constantly sits with her, talks to her, eats with her and trades with her is her friend either though, I’m shocked she calls Gale her friend
Does Peeta get to know Cinna too? I don’t think so but it’s mentioned now a couple times in this chapter alone that Peeta has interacted with Cinna. Katniss never interacts or has a conversation with Portia.... then again, is that even surprising? Katniss isn’t ... what you would call ... social. Hashtag relatable.
Awww, they’re communicating so effectively together 🥰😭🤧🥳
Also rooftops belong to Everlark only 😍😊😉 I mean, seriously, Katniss never goes up on a rooftop with anyone else. Besides Haymitch in the first movie but we ignore.
“Electricity in District 12 comes and goes, usually we only have it a few hours a day.” Earlier she said the Seam didn’t often have electricity, in particular, so either she’s not specifying her section of the district anymore or Suzanne is backtracking.
“But here there would be no shortage. Ever.” I’ve had two power outages recently so clearly the Capitol isn’t based on us currently today then 😐😐 I’m just joking ok
“I asked Cinna why they let us up here. Weren't they worried that some of the tributes might decide to jump right over the side?” .... boyfriend, where does your mind go sometimes? Peeta’s darker than we realize, y’all 🤭🤭🙃🙃
“He holds out his hand into seemingly empty space. There's a sharp zap and he jerks it back” between this and Catching Fire, Peeta is addicted to getting shocked by forcefields 🤧🤧🤧
“I wonder if we're supposed to be up here now, so late and alone.” If this was a romantic drama or comedy, that line would have meant something a lot more fun 😒😔😬😉😏
“On the other side of the dome, they've built a garden with flower beds and potted trees.” Is this meant to resemble Snow’s grandmother’s garden???? Like he had them put a garden there to like ... put a piece of his Grandma’am in the games? Idk this made zero sense it was a stupid thought
Two people in a garden at night, with wind chimes, sounds romantic in any other context. 🥺🥺
Ummm does everyone in the entire district know Katniss and her father used to hunt together?
Oh nevermind, Lavinia is not from District Twelve. My bad, guys. I should go up and edit my previous thoughts but that’s a lot of work. 😅😅😅
Katniss, stop being so hard on yourself. You and Gale were kids. 😣😣
Ummm, Katniss for a girl always complimenting Peeta’s storyteller, you’re pretty good at painting a picture yourself...
Peeta noticing she’s shivering 🥰🥺
He gives her ... his jacket 😭😭😭😭 such a romantic troupe Samantha, get over it there’s literally children dying
Oh wow, Lavinia was from the Capitol originally. Hmm, it is sus now that she got District Twelve this particular year.
But also 🤧🤧🤧 “he secures a button at my neck.”
His hands .... are .... often .... at her .... neck .... 😶😬 .... look away, y’all
Oh wow, Katniss is over here thinking, “who’d leave the Capitol if they were from here???” And Peeta’s like instantly, loudly, without hesitating, “well I would 🙋🏼‍♂️”
Hot take, y’all ready? Peeta was a bigger rebel than Katniss from the start. At least internally.
Awww, Peeta is so jealous 😭😭😭😭 and kind of nosy 🤭🤭🤭
Katniss : “me and Gale are not related” Peeta : “😬🙃😭😩😶”
“I'd set out to tell her I was sorry about dinner. [...] my apology runs much deeper. [...] I let the Capitol kill the boy and mutilate her without lifting a finger. Just like I was watching the Games.” I feel like this is actually a good comparison though, because of you grew up in a society where you have to watch kids die, your whole entire life you’ve watched it in a glorified television show, you would be really desensitized to it...
“You don't forget the face of the person who was your last hope.” Here she’s talking about Lavinia but it applies to Peeta too. Katniss was Lavinia’s last hope and she feels like she let her down but Peeta was her last hope once and he came through. And, as she said in chapter one, she’ll never forget him for it. And for other things too. Later on. 😏
Of course my last bullet point was focused on Everlark 🤣 is anyone surprised you shouldn’t be we all knew who this post was written by right? 😅
And once again, if too made through this marathon, congratulations 🥳🥳🥳🥳 maybe next chapter I’ll talk less not likely though so don’t count on it 😅
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tkln · 4 years ago
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Getting closer
Notes: It’s my first time writing a tickle fic, or any fic really. English isn't my first language so I always thought it would be impossible for me to write anything of worth in this community (sorry in advance for the multiple grammar mistakes and typos). But never say never, here's my little piece of work to thank this great community. I found the inspiration reading Smile, Parrish from @happyandticklish ^^
Summary: Adam is losing his mind out of worry and Ronan decides to make him lose it out of laughter.
It was one of those intense moments when Ronan didn't know how to proceed. He was sitting, legs crossed, at Adam bedroom's floor. He was discreetly staring at the other boy who was on his bed with a face of pure concentration mixed with a bad hidden anguish. The wizard in training was absorbed trying to work out the last details of his master plan against their Latin teacher. He knew there was something he was missing out but couldn't tell what… and he was growing more frustrated every passing minute.
For his part Ronan felt quite helpless about the whole thing. Knowing what his part would be (most likely dreaming something shady) he wasn't particularly worried about not contributing right now. Adam was the brain behind this plan after all and he trusted his friend. That wasn't the problem. What bothered him was the frown that so perfectly matched the eye bags in Adam's gloomy face. Adam wasn't all that smiley, not around Ronan at least, but it doesn't mean the latter appreciated the expression. Besides, there was this oil stain under Adam's left ear that the dreamer so intensely wanted to reach out and clean but didn't dare.
Without anything else to entertain himself, Ronan decided to take a quick nap. However, before he could move to lie down the other teen exploded.
"I can't do it! We need this to work out, we can't afford to make any mistakes here, this move has to be flawless or we are never going to get rid of him. God why can't I figure this out? I've been going over this part for the last 30 minutes and I can't come up with any decent idea!" Ronan was openly staring now. He didn't expect such a sudden outburst.
"Parish-"
"We aren't even getting closer to solving this. How can I be so useless? And how could I think that this was gonna work? Of course it won't. Things never work for me, how can they? You're so pathetic Adam!-"
"ENOUGH!" Ronan finally interrupted. Adam even jumped a little in fright and his eyes connected with pale blue. "Have you finished your sorry monologue?" Ronan tried to control his tone, trying not to sound too harsh despite the words. Some part at the back of his mind wondered if this whole self-deprecation rant was the consequence of being raised by that sorry excuse of a father Adam got. The notion made him mad so he decided to ignore it for the time being. "Look, you're just stressed and tired Parish. Take a break and start again later".
"I can't just leave it like this Lynch. I have to solve it and I have to solve it now".
"Well you're not solving anything in this state so better listen to me and rest for a while". But Adam wasn't planning on changing his mind and lowered his head again to stare blankly at the scribbled price of paper in his hands. That's when a tick in Ronan's eye twitched and pounced without another word. He pushed Adam against the mattress, pinned both wrists under his knees without caring about the sheet of paper and started to knead Adam's sides without pause.
"Lynch! what arehaha youhuh doing!? Hahahaha" Adam was at a loss. One moment he was reading his neat handwriting and the next he had Ronan's face above his and terribly tickle fingers sending shivers through his body.
"First of all, you don't get to ignore me" Even though Ronan was enjoying the view of a blushing Adam giggling at his mercy, he tried to keep a neutral expression. "After that you don't get to do precisely the opposite" He reached up for the ribs and the boy underneath started to squirm wildly while laughing fully now. "What happen Parrish? A good spot?"
Adam was dying. He knew his ribs were sensitive but this was ridiculous. He has never been tickled like this before and Ronan was precise with both pace and technique, digging relentlessly in between every rib.
"NOAA HAHAHAHA STOOHOHOP IHIHIT!!" Ronan finally smirked at that. The blush in Adam's face was darkening and little tears were starting to gather around his eyes. He struggled as much as he could but it was useless. Ronan got him and got him good. He couldn't escape so he quickly resorted to begging.
"PLEHEHEHEASE I CHAHAHAN'T! NOOOOHOHOHO! PLEASE HAHAHA NOO" Ronan decided to give him a breather and moved to gently scribbled around his abdomen. This made the wizard return to a state of messy giggles with a huge smile still plastered in his face. His cheeks were burning and ached a bit from the effort. "Why arehaha you hehehe dohohoing this?"
"Because it was clear you needed for someone to make you take a break. Sometimes, when we were younger, Declan got a little anxious whenever my father was out working for long. Mathew and I would start tickle fights with him to unwind him. It was the only thing that I could think of to both punish and help you out". It was rare for the dreamer to share that much, especially when it included Declan, but he was feeling quite at ease right now, like at home.
"Dahahamn, that's whyhihi you're so gohohod at thihihihs". Adam admitted, trying and failing to get used to the fingers and nails currently dancing around his upper abs.
"Good? Just good? I'm the best dude! I'll show you what I can really do. Don't you think I didn't notice how you tremble every time I get close to your hips". With that he dug his thumbs into Adam's hip bones and was rewarded with the most hysterical and high pitched laugh he had heard so far.
"NOHOHOT THEREEE AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Adam threw his head back and let all his pent up frustration spill out through his mouth. There was nothing else in that moment but Ronan and his hands peeling out both his laughter and anxiety. It was unbearable and at the same time liberating. Until the urge to breath was more important.
"YOU WIHIHINN STOPAHAHAHA!!" Immediately Ronan retreated and seated beside the poor curled up and still giggling teen. Out of pity he started rubbing soothing circles in the other's back until the giggles died out.
"You did stop"
"Of course I did, I wasn't trying to torture you Parrish".
"It looked like that you know". Adam finally turned around and gazed up.
"Oh please, don't tell me you couldn't handle it. I only saw you desperate at the very end. Besides, guess what? I was right. You look so much better now".
Adam was glad he was already blushing from all the laughter, because that soft look in Ronan's eyes and the wording was doing funny things to his stomach.
"Well Ronan don't expect me to thank you".
The other teen snorted and lay down on the bed. Now he could peacefully take that nap. He also turned his back to Adam to hide the pleased smile at being called by his given name. He knew. They were getting closer. Step by step.
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fuckyeahjonesy · 4 years ago
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THE KISS OF DAWN (16+)
(I wrote this chapter  at 4 AM, during a sleepless & heavy night, so if there's any typo or grammar mistake, please ignore it, thanks :D)
PART 2. - THE FIRST LETTER
Ben loved working. He loved challenging himself, getting to know other people, flashing his talent, but most of all: forgetting about his problems for a couple of hours. Any eating related event with the cast was a delightful moment. Lovely chit-chats, delicious food, always learning something new. But this morning was different. Ben entered the dining hall. -Good morning mate, how it's going? -he literally bumped into the director, who rushed outside because of an incoming call. -Everything is fine, thanks! -Okay, you've got a letter at the keeper's lodge, don't forget to take it after breakfast! -What kind of letter? -asked Ben with a confused sight. He wasn't expecting anything, and such surprises just made him anxious. -I don't know, but the janitor said it's important! But sorry... -the director raised his ringing phone as an excuse and quickly left the place. Ben was really confused. "What kind of letter it's supposed to be? Are they firing him now?" He couldn't stay calm until the end of breakfast, so he greeted everyone and headed to the entrace, where the keeper's lodge was located. It was a small green cabin with a man who's supposed to be in his 60s. No matter, what time he saw him, the janitor was always reading something, and just like every elder person, he was also able to see the letters only if the newspaper was as far from his eyes, as it's possible. He was always wearing his glasses on his nose, and licked his finger every time he turned a page. And he could have won anytime an "Ugly sweater competition", but it didn't really matter. The man was a lovely person. -Mr. Johnson, excuse me... -said Ben, after he knocked on the door, which was wide open. The janitor slightly jumped, as the sudden voice scared him, but when he saw its owner, his lips curled into a smile. -Oh Benjamin! Good morning! I was waiting for your visit! Someone just left here a letter for you! -he said, while he was looking for the envelope between the documents. -Do you know what kind of letter is it? Is it a company letter? -asked Ben, as he walked closer curiously. -No, it's not. It's more like a personal letter, I guess! -Oh, I have a place for fan mails... -started Ben, but the janitor interrupted him. -It's not a fan mail, young man! Ahh, here it is! -he handed the envelope to Ben. There wasn't a name, address, or anything on it, only a line, that was written with beautiful calligraphy technique: "For Ben Hardy" -Ehm... thank you. -said Ben, as he examined the envelope curiously. -You're welcome, Benjamin! -smiled the janitor, and then turned back to his newspaper. Ben walked to a bench, sat down, lit a cigarette, and then opened the envelope. The letter was handwritten:
Dear Ben!
I know you have no idea who I am, but honestly, it doesn't even matter right now. You're constantly in my mind tonight, and I just felt like writing it all down. Hopefully it helps me to fall asleep faster. I hope you're fine. I'm always worried, if I don't hear about you for a long time. There were nights, when I opened my window, looked up on the sky and asked the sparkling stars to talk about you. I asked them to tell me your fears, your secrets, your best memories. I asked them if they saw the moment when you were born. They always flashed differently at every question, and when I wished them to take a piece of your soul and bring it to me, one star fell from the dark blue canvas, painting a thick, golden line on it. It was as thick as your lips, when you were about to spread your beautiful mind. I was in pain, and no medicine helped me. No doctors, no therapists. I felt lost and hopeless. I closed my eyes, and imagined you standing behind me. I imagined your messy curls, your emerald green eyes, and your deep voice, that was like a kiss to my thirsty soul. I imagined sharing my silence with you, while our hearts were constantly talking to each other. Our hearts were like the playful snowflakes, who were flirting with each other during their long journey from the fluffy clouds to the ground. They were dancing on the ruffles of the wind, until they melted into one big drop on a leaf of grass. And the drop was like a mirror towards the sky, reflecting the clouds where their love was born. I don't know which cloud was ours, but my heart never stopped missing yours. She was looking for you among thousands of other pulsing hearts, waiting for the moment when she finally recognizes the rhythm of yours. That's how I spent my lonely nights. Getting lost in the infinite galaxy of my thoughts. I silently asked my guardian angels to skip their tasks for me, and give a gentle kiss on your forehead instead. I asked the birds to sing at your window in the morning, when the first rays of sun knock on your window. I asked the time to stop for a while, when you're in the middle of a sweet dream.
I imagined you, being here for me, because that was the only time I felt healed.
Please, take care & have a beautiful day!
M.
Ben read the letter over and over again. The janitor was right, it wasn't really like a fan mail, it was something different. It was touching and fascinating. It was an honest confession of worrying about him, and wanting him the best. He didn't even remember the last time someone said such nice and lovely things to him. Who wrote all of these? He decided to figure it out and came back to the keeper's lodge. -Mr. Johnson! Excuse me, it's me again... can you please tell me who wrote this letter? -asked Ben, but this time he didn't come in, he stayed at the door, showing that he only returned for a short question. -Oh dear, I have no idea. I didn't read it, of course. -replied the janitor. -But... you obviously saw, who brought it, didn't you? -I did. A woman gave it to me, but it wasn't her who wrote the letter. Ben sighed loudly and nodded. -Okay... it's okay. -he said, staring sadly at the ground. -I'm really sorry young man, it seems the letter was seriously important. But if you're also important to the person who wrote it, you might get another one. Who knows. Just try to stay positive, it always helps! -winked the elder man. Ben slightly smiled. -Well, okay. Thank you anyway, Mr. Johnson. -My pleasure. - he turned back to his newspaper, while Ben walked back to the dining hall to have his breakfast, before the work starts. He didn't have much time left, but he didn't really care about it.
"I silently asked my guardian angels to skip their tasks for me, and give a gentle kiss on your forehead instead."
There was only one thing in his mind: "Who... wrote... this?"
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banashee · 4 years ago
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  Part 16 of my @badthingshappenbingo​
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Please mind the warnings in the tags and bottom notes! Square : "Came back wrong"
*+~
Something missing
 They say he’s fine, but Phil knows there is something missing from him.
 He can’t put his finger on it and it’s not like anyone will actually tell him anything - he’s alive and should be happy about the recovery, they tell him with smiles that are too bright and too false on their faces - a cheerful facade.
 Phil wants to shake them all and demand answers, but he doesn’t. He’s not sure who is telling him the truth anymore, so he acts like everything is normal. As quickly as he possibly can, he goes back into the field - he’s got a new team now, since Strike Team Delta are now full time Avengers as he’s been told.
 Which is true, but Phil also knows that there is something they don’t tell him.
 It doesn’t take long at all to figure out that neither Clint or Natasha know he’s alive, and it’s supposed to stay that way.
 Seething anger flows through Phil at the thought of them being lied to for so long. He’s always been protective of the Agents assigned to him, but… Those two are special. They’ve been close for years, but… Whenever Phil is thinking too hard, he’ll get a nasty migraine.
 It only confirms further what he’s suspected - something is missing from him.
 Phil wants to reach out to them - he hasn’t been able to see Natasha and Clint since before everything changed, and he’s been missing them ever since. Now, they think he’d dead and Phil isn’t sure if it would be kinder to just let them grieve and move on. He knows for a fact that he would be thrown off, had the roles been reversed.
 ‘But I’d still rather know.’ a small voice in the back of his head points out. Then, another headache is hammering in his brain.
 At this point, he is almost convinced that this is something intentional - he doesn’t trust medical any more after this.
 *+~
 They spend the night on a secret SHIELD base instead of the bus, and Phil almost ignores the ping of his personal phone. But habit has him reaching out for it before he’s finished the thought. Too many years of Clint and Nat texting in the middle of the night for both serious and silly reasons have him used to checking it, even though he hasn’t gotten any texts. But then again, most people don’t text dead friends.
 When Phil opens up the phone, he almost drops it in surprise. The text is from an unknown number,  but the type of code in the message is so deep-seated in his mind, so painfully familiar, it makes his heart ace. But of course, he can still read it. The numbers and letters wouldn’t make any sense to most people, given that the three of them have only ever used it for each other.
     (What happened in Budapest?)  
 It is their usual phrase, their starting point whenever they use this code - just another safety measure. The answer is right there, and Phil types back the usual answer with shaking hands, holding his breath until the phone vibrates again with an answer.
     (Two lose goats, a kidnapping and three dead men.)  
     Phil? You really are alive?!  
 This time, it’s not even code - the short text is riddled with typos and it looks like whoever of the two sent it is currently dealing with shaking hands, too. Phil chokes on a stifled laugh, almost turning into a sob. He’s longing to see his two best friends again, and he ditches the code now that they did, as well.
     Yes. And I’m very, very sorry we couldn’t meet after everything.  
     We miss you, too. Any chance you can get to the east rooftop?  
 The breath hitches in his throat, and Phil is very, very glad that no one else is in this room with him, because he’s overwhelmed with emotions he normally wouldn’t allow himself to show anywhere near SHIELD. But he’s been so very lonely ever since he woke up, and the thought of seeing friendly and familiar faces again is enough to make him emotional right now. He wipes one shaking hand across his face, then he types back,
     I’m on my way.  
 And a second later, he is - still in his ancient shirt and pyjama pants, glasses haphazardly pushed onto his nose and his thinning hair a hot mess on top of his head. He looks very much human and unlike Agent Coulson - right now, he’s simply Phil.
 Miraculously, no one is in the corridors he’s jogging along to get to the rooftop. He is grateful for it, because he really doesn’t want to come up with excuses right now. All he can think is the chance to see Natasha and Clint again.
 When he rounds the last corner after climbing a small but steep flight of stairs, he opens the door, and is immediately greeted by two familiar figures stepping into the flickering light of a lamp.
 Neither of the two have changed much in the last few months - some lost weight and added stress lines maybe. Natasha’s hair is longer than he remembers it and Clint has grown a beard but apart from that, the two of them look just like he remembers them. They turn to the door as soon as it opens, and when Phil steps into the light, the look of disbelieving happiness on their faces is only visible for as long as it takes them to cross the rest of the distance and pull him into a tight hug from both sides.
 “You’re alive, you’re really alive.”
 The words are muffled against him, and Phil just hugs them closer, all but melting into the touch.
 It’s been too long, and until a few minutes ago, he didn’t think he’d ever get to do this again.
 *+~
 It’s hard to explain this feeling.
 One one hand, Phil is incredibly happy and relieved that he’s able to see and talk to his friends again, being able to touch. It feels right, like coming back home.
 But the tell tale headache keeps bothering him, and it tells him that there is something he’s missing.
 Sometimes, everything feels just right. But sometimes, he can see a strange look on Clints face when he isn’t aware that Phil can see it. Sometimes, it’s like he holds back onto something, stopping himself before he says something. Other times, it’s like he wants to reach out and just stops, thinking better of it.
 Phil is lost on why that might be - the two of them have always been close, have been friends for a long time. They have no problem touching each other, casual contact or hugs or leaning against one another. Even now that has not stopped, but sometimes there are those little moments…
 He’s definitely missing something, and it bothers Phil.
 He’s known that parts of him must have been lost, but he is not sure what this has to do with Clint. Years of practise and knowing the other man have taught Phil that Clint is deliberately not talking about something - whenever he asks though, he’ll just force a smile and say everything is alright, only to look incredibly heartbroken whenever Phil has turned his back and only notices this sudden change in window reflections or the corner of his eye.
 “I came back wrong.” he says one night, weeks after their first meeting “after”. This is how they refer to timelines now - “before” and “after”. Before the alien attack. After everything changed.
 It’s not always easy to find the time to meet, what with the different lives and schedules they work with these days. But the important thing is, they make time - and Phil happily will come back to New York whenever he can. Clint and Nat will travel near him whenever they can, given that Phil is not currently undercover. If he is, they’ll meet him later as to not compromise anything.
 The two of them might be Avengers now, but they’ll never leave the SHIELD operative instincts behind. And they seem to be happy, too. They talk about their team, their missions, and keep inviting Phil over for days off at the tower.
 “Come home” they’ll say, and it makes Phil so very happy to hear them refer to any physical place in that way.
     Home    , until very recently, meant exclusively people, not places. He’s glad they’ve found both, now.
 “I came back wrong” Phil says, and he is met with Natasha’s green eyes. She holds his gaze and waits for him to keep talking.
 It’s just the two of them right now, as they are waiting for Clint to get back with dinner. He’s offered to go and pick it up since the restaurant is great but doesn’t deliver. They’ve been craving it though, so that’s what they ordered  and the words just slip out of Phil before he can stop himself.
 “What do you mean?” Natasha asks, gently bumping him with her shoulder and leaning close for a little while.
 “Something is… Missing. I feel like I’m not me, not really. Something that should be there, but it’s not.”
 Phil can feel another headache coming up at him - he’s long used to them, but Natasha seems to notice that he’s uncomfortable. She remains close, carefully casually in that special way of hers that tells Phil it’s an attempt to offer comfort without making a big deal out of it. It’s so very much her.
 But before she can answer, the door unlocks and Clint shoulders his way in with his arms full of plastic bags which contain something that smells heavenly.
 “Dinner for three!” he announces, and the smile on his face is a real one, but his eyes remain sad and exhausted. It’s not unusual for him to look that way these days, but he puts the food down on the table and throws himself onto the couch seconds later. He lets out a deep breath, head leaned onto Phil’s shoulder, and it makes him feel like something is missing once again.
 If he didn’t wake up from a messy nightmare that very same night, Phil would not have heard this part of the conversation in the next room over.
 He’s breathing hard but trying to calm down so he doesn’t wake anyone up, but when he turns to get a glass of water from the kitchen, he can tell that his friends are awake in the living room.
 “You need to talk, Clint. I know this is hard but Phil is not okay right now. I know      you’re     not okay either.”
 “I know.” Clint answers, and he sounds miserable. “It’s just- he doesn’t remember. I don’t know if it’s coincidence or intentional on SHIELD’s part. But…” He leaves the sentence hanging in the air, unfinished.
 Phil is suddenly wide awake - he doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, he really doesn’t, but he remains still behind the closed door. Whatever it is they’ve kept from him, it is clear that it’s out of worry for him, not something malicious.
 “Does it matter?” Natasha shoots back, quietly but urgent. “He knows something is up, something is missing. He said he came back ‘wrong.’ That’s the phrase he used.”
 “Fuck.” A unhappy bark of laughter escapes Clint, and Phil can almost see him shaking his head, messing up the back of his hair in a nervous hand motion.
 “How am I supposed explain to Phil that he woke up from being fucking dead and forgot 8 years of relationship with me? Imagine waking up and forgetting so many years of your life. This is terrifying.”
 Phil feels like somebody punched him in the guts. He stumbles back and needs to lean against the wall as the breath leaves his lungs.
 His heart is racing and yes,      he absolutely is terrified     - but it’s also like something clicks into place, fills in the hollow space in his chest that he couldn’t sort out before.
 The empty feeling, the knowledge that something significant is missing - the way that Clint stopped talking and stopped himself from reaching out for seemingly no reason, again and again.
 The overwhelming feeling of love and being loved back - it’s running through every fiber of his being, with it the panicked realization that he doesn’t remember - and it’s soul crushing.
 “What if he doesn’t feel the same anymore? I wouldn’t want to make things harder for him after, well. Everything.”
 “Clint, stop. This is your insecurity talking and you know it.”
 “Fuck you, Nat.” he spits back, but there is no real heat behind the statement - he sounds more scared - defeated.
 “Tell me I’m wrong.” Natasha challenges calmly, and he doesn’t. In fact, the conversation stops completely, and Phil makes his way back to bed - he’s suddenly no longer thirsty.
 In the end though, it is Phil who brings it up to Clint the next day. Natasha has excused herself with a tight hug and apologetic smile, “work calls” she’d said, and left the house soon after, leaving the two men alone so they can have a long overdue conversation.
 Clint seems to be on the edge, more so than usually. Phil decides to give him time, but it doesn’t look like he’ll start this conversation. When at some point, he starts describing a intricate bread recipe in great detail to him, Phil stops his rambling.
 “Clint?”
 “Huh? Yeah, sorry, what?” he blinks at him, as if he’s only just realizing what is happening.
 “I’m… Not sure how to start this, but. Last night - I didn’t mean to listen, but I woke up to get some water. I heard you talk.” he confesses silently, and as soon as the words leave his mouth, Clint looks completely deflated.
 “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to find out this way. Guess I was too scared to talk to you about this - still am, to be perfectly honest.” That last part slips out completely naturally - he didn’t mean to say that, but the years with Phil have gotten him used to being completely open and honest with him - it’s how they worked. While not-talking isn’t technically a lie, it makes Clint feel like he’s been lying to Phil nonetheless.
 “You have nothing to be sorry for.” Slowly, he reaches out to take a hold of his hand, careful to be clear about his movements and intentions. Clint doesn’t pull away. In fact, he looks a bit surprised, but he gently squeezes back when Phil holds his hands. They are strong and rough from years and years of archery and handiwork. They feel like home and right now, they’re shaking.
 “Ever since I woke up, I felt like something was wrong. Then you found me.” they hold onto each other a little bit tighter at that, and Phil continues.
 “You found me, and I was so happy.       I am incredibly happy    . But something was off and I didn’t know what, and. Last night - it’s like everything just clicked into place. I just wish I could remember…” Phil wants to say more, but his voice is barely more than a whisper at this point. He’s pretty sure, that if Clint hadn’t been staring at him like a deer in the headlights and close enough to read his lips, he definitely wouldn’t have been able to pick up the last part.
 For a while, it looks like Clint wants to say something but doesn’t know what to say in the first place.
 After agonizing minutes of silence, he blurts out,
 “I never stopped loving you, Phil.” and it seems like he wants to take it right back, out of fear of being too forward.
 But Phil just smiles at him, and it’s the most alive he’s felt in a long time. He can feel his eyes watering, and Clint looks like 5 seconds away from bursting into tears at this point. But he manages not to, returning the smile instead.
 “Tell me about us?” Phil asks, gently rubbing his thumb over the calloused hands he’s currently holding and he doesn’t want to let go again. “Maybe it’ll help me. Help us figure out how to keep going from there.”
 “I- yeah, okay. I can do that. But Phil-” he still looks him right in the eyes, not completely relaxed yet.
 “If this is not what you want anymore, I’ll completely understand. It would be okay.”
 To his complete and utter surprise, Phil is still smiling at him. He even scoots closer to him, letting go of Clint’s hands to wrap his arms around him in a loose embrace. Clint seems to be melting into the touch, and he relaxes slightly.
 “The feelings are there. I just couldn’t assign them anywhere until recently. And I would love to be reminded of the rest.”
 Phil has had time to think about this for the entire rest of the night and all day until now - he is sure about this. As sure as he’s ever been of anything.
 “So, if this is something you’d want - we could start again and make this work. I know I’d like to do this - very much so.” After a moment, Phil adds,
 “I love you, Clint. This I know for sure. I just didn’t know it was in a romantic way.”
 Those words are the best thing that Clint has heard in a long time - his smile is bright and soft now, even though he is no longer able to hold back the tears that are running free now.
 He doesn’t seem to care, and Phil reaches out to wipe them away with the edge of his sleeve. Their foreheads are touching now, and they remain close like this, simply breathing in each others company.
 It feels like coming home after a very, very long time.
 Then, Clint starts running one hand through Phil’s hair, and he hums happily, resting his head on the broad shoulder when Clint starts talking. It reminds Phil how much he loves his voice, and the dry, humorous way in which he tells stories. Especially when it is their own story.
 “So, this started out about a decade ago, and both of us managed to successfully pine in secret for roughly two years. Then, there was this christmas party at the New York office and      somebody    , we’re strongly suspecting Nat but she denies everything, kept spiking the punch throughout the evening.
 It was godawful and should have been disposed of as toxic waste well before 10pm but we kept drinking it, don’t ask why I have no idea. Let’s blame the stress, it’s been a shitty year for everyone. Point is, we kept drinking this sludge and we were both absolutely hammered. I don’t know how, but we ended up piled under the buffet table and fell asleep.
 I swear, everyone thought we’ve been fucking there, but I don’t think either of us would have managed anything at this point. We were asleep under the buffet table piled on top of each other and for some fucking reason both of decided that this has been the best night’s sleep ever. We had breakfast and drank more coffee than we did alcohol the day before, instant regret and everything, but we started sharing a bed more and more often after that, and then…”
*+~
Square: “Came back wrong”
*+~
Warnings:
- Temporary death - Amnesia - Probably gaslighting - Self doubts - PTSD - Dealing with loss - Dealing with a near death experience (technically coming back from the dead) - Mention of alcohol and being drunk but not in a violent way
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hutchhitched · 5 years ago
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Everlark Self-Inteview
Okay, this spiraled out of control. My apologies. Here are some thoughts on this fine Friday.
I posted my first Everlark story in September 2013. I still feel like a newbie in the fandom.
Fanfiction is a creative outlet for me. Some days the muse is strong and feeds me. Some weeks/months it does not. I am never trying to put someone off or delay posting. I know that doesn’t make the wait any easier or shorter.
Be kind to others. We’re all trying.
Edit your story before posting. Typos drive me crazy. Please let me know when I have one. I always go back and fix them when I find them. (Also, read more links are your friend.)
New people come into this fandom every day. It’s intimidating. I’ve been here a long time, and I still feel like no one knows who I am. Find out the history of the fandom, but you don’t apologize for being new. I, for one, am happy you’re here.
The rest of the interview is under the cut. Also, my past interview is here. 
Writing process:
 Do you outline?
 This is going to come up a lot, but the honest answer is it depends on the story. I’ve been writing for a very long time. I’m in my early forties, and I wrote my first story when I was in second grade. Every story I write has its own voice and method and process, but one thing is similar. I’m a thinker. I don’t always write down an outline. I’m a procrastinator, which is code for, “I think about things until I’ve got it organized in my head. Then I’ll write.”
 That said, there are some stories that have pretty elaborate outlines. Too Familiar has an outline now, but it didn’t when I started it since it was only supposed to be a one shot. Always Rivals has an outline. End of Love has an outline. All my completed JHutch and Joshifer stories had outlines. I know District 14 and Code Name: Mockingjay need outlines (and am procrastinating on making them). When a story gets long(ish), I end up needing an outline.
 Do you use a beta?
 Again, it depends on the story. I used to use a beta for everything I wrote. @myusernamehere and @jennagill and @cheeks-and-white-tshirts and @xerxia31 have all been regular betas for me. A few others have looked things over. Now, I tend not to use a beta, although @xerxia31 still glances over a lot of things for me before I post.
 Good betas who will tell you if your story is crap and/or needs development or whatever are the best and absolutely amazing. I am super grateful for them. The reason I stopped using one every time is more for timing reasons than anything else. I’m a procrastinator, so asking someone to beta when I’m up against a timeline just isn’t fair to those who are volunteering to help me. Also, I’m a pretty good proofreader and editor, and I’m usually fairly confident about what I want to do in a story. I’ve typically talked out the plot with someone beforehand, so the chapter by chapter beta-ing isn’t needed the same as it used to be.
 Do you post right away?
 Almost never. Drabble challenges, yes. I’ve actually whipped out some @talesofpanem stories in a couple of hours and posted, but that’s only because of the deadlines. I tend to let a story sit for a while and edit a few times before posting it. It helps catch repetitious words and typos I wouldn’t catch otherwise. I don’t want to post something half-assed because I don’t want to read something half-assed.
 I’ve posted one story that was completed before I started. It was a Josh/OC story, so nothing from Everlark. However, that will change with the two @fandomtrumpshate stories I’m writing. Both will be complete and shared with their respective bidders before I start posting to tumblr and AO3. I’m also trying to use this month’s Nanowrimo to finish some stories (or get a big jump on them), so posting time between chapters isn’t so long. I understand people’s frustration. I really do. I’m trying to be better.
  Story questions:
 Where did the story come from?
 Too Familiar—I’ve put this out there before, but here it is again. I was in grad school, and another grad student and I met and clicked instantly. He was married. We became the best of friends and ended up falling madly in love with each other. I honestly believe if soulmates exist, we are it. The hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life is give him up. Eventually (after I moved to Houston), we cut off communication. I talked to him for the first time in eight years last month. He still loves me. He’s still with his wife. He thanked me for the sacrifice I made by letting him go. It is a terrible, awful, horrible situation, and there is no happy ending for either of us. In the story, I tried to give Everlark one, even though it’s messy and complicated and some readers hate both Katniss and Peeta in it. But it happens. People don’t always do things the right way, and that’s what I was trying to show in the story. Sometimes love isn’t fair or right or moral or good. Sometimes it’s painful and raw and means breaking the rules—at least in fanfiction.
 Sole Beneficiary—I had an ex-boyfriend who worked nights. He and I still really liked each other, and I was lonely and stressed out in grad school. I used to go over to his place after morning workouts and climb into bed and cuddle with him. He was all sleepy and warm and teddy bear-like, and it was really comforting. It was also really confusing, which is what the story’s about.
 Cattle Show—I used to show cattle when I was in 4-H. There was a family from a neighboring town with three brothers. The middle one was named Brett, and he was one of the kindest, sweetest, most gorgeous creatures I’d ever met. His family owned a registered farm with a logo and everything, and my family rented our farm and didn’t have the money to invest in outward appearances. Still, those nights at the fair were some of the best of my childhood memories. Sleeping in the cattle trailers (and me in the bean truck) and hanging out after it was dark and a lot of people drinking and people sneaking off together all happened. I was younger and much more innocent, but those three brothers were always in the middle of it all. Brett was always kind to me, even though I was five years younger and kind of on the outskirt of things. He passed away a few years ago in his early forties, and the world is a darker place because of it.
 Which was the easiest to write?
 Of the three, Cattle Show is lighter and more fun. It’s also the one that doesn’t really skirt the boundaries of acceptable moral behavior. Because of that, people have accepted it more readily even though the others have gotten more attention.
 What is your favorite part of the story?
 Too Familiar—I just wrote the exchange between Madge and Katniss, and that was A LOT of fun (and probably not what people are expecting). However, I think my favorite part was when Peeta confesses how he feels about her for the first time and then is absolutely mortified when he does at the end of chapter 1 and beginning of chapter 2. He’s so vulnerable, and she’s so stunned and angry. It’s kind of beautiful and simultaneously heartbreaking.
 Sole Beneficiary—I love this line: “I swear someday I’m going to say no to you,” he growls and tugs my clothes off. “Someday I’m going to realize I’m a fool for letting you use me. Someday I’m going to find someone else.”
 Cattle Show—There’s some drunk Peeta in there, and I adore writing drunk Peeta.
 Were you shocked or disappointed by the reaction the story got?
 Too Familiar—Not exactly. It’s gotten a lot of attention on AO3, and not all of it’s good. There are some readers who hate both main characters and say there’s nothing redeeming about either of them and no excuses for their actions. I’m not really sure why they keep reading the story, to be honest. It disappoints me that the story I’m trying to tell about gray areas is being read in black and white terms.
 Sole Beneficiary—Not for this one. I’ve been really pleasantly pleased that people seem to want more. I get more requests for this than any other story. I don’t really know why it’s so compelling to so many, but I’m appreciative of the reception.
 Cattle Show—I’m always a little surprised when someone tells me this is their favorite. It kinda flew under the radar, so when it comes up, that makes me happy.
  Future plans:
 Top tier priority—Too Familiar, Three Months, Maybe This Summer, Float Your Boat, Playlist: Home, Hold It
 Second tier priority—Always Rivals, Code Name: Mockingjay, Influenza, Sole Beneficiary, District 14
 I’ll get to them eventually—Extended Office Hours, The Cipher, Mother of Pearl, Bullseye, We Wish Real, High Society, Go With Me, Hope Boldly, The Doppelganger, The Worst Day, Small Town Secrets, The Cry
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wishingupontheskyandstars · 5 years ago
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New little reylo modern au fanfic I posted last night... 😌
Title: Why Did We Break Up?
Side Note - There’s a happy ending, of course!
Rated M (Language and additional tags to be added later...)
Summary: Rey and Ben recently broke up but living in the same apartment building does not help them to move on...It helps them to find out why they decided to break up in the first place and realize how good things actually were between them.
AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22251973/chapters/53135227
A little note: This first chapter was inspired by a fanfic prompt via tumblr:
'we bumped into each other in the street and you were grinning like a cocky asshole the whole time so i stalked off only to realise i’m wearing your shirt'
I've wanted to write a reylo fic based on this prompt for the longest time. I might add other prompts to this story, so stay tuned. Post Tros, writing more reylo fic has definitely helped to cope. Also, it's helping to get me out of this bad case of writer's block I've been having for months. So, in advance, please excuse any typos because I really just want to write, and post as much as I can. So, anyway hope you like this and continue to read what comes next! And, thank you so much for just taking the time to read; it’s seriously always so appreciated :)
Chapter 1: Asshole
Rey's hand automatically went to her right side, to feel for...him. She opened her eyes to see the empty side of the bed. She sighed in frustration and laid on her back, looking at the tan-colored ceiling. The sun still had not peeked through her curtains so Rey knew she was up too early.
She rolled on her left side and reached for her cell phone on the nightstand. She squinted her eyes, rubbing at them, trying to wake up. After a few seconds, she finally saw the time was 5:25. She groaned with displeasure knowing she woke up much earlier than anticipated. She also didn't want to go back to sleep, just in case she slept through her alarm.
Rey covered her eyes with her arm and released a deep sigh. She knew she was going to get up in a few minutes but her mind went to Ben Solo, her ex-boyfriend of three days. They had been dating just a little over two years, about the same amount of time she and Rose had been living in this apartment. Rey put her arm over his pillow as if she could run her fingers through his dark silky hair.  
A few minutes later, the sun was rising, hitting Rey's curtains, making her open her eyes. "Okay, I can do this!" Rey pulled the covers off of her and started to get up. She sat at the edge of the bed, her feet touching the hardwood floor. She let out a yawn, stretching her arms over her head, back arched. She looked back at her phone which was next to her pillow. She leaned over to reach for it, her hand slightly touching the phone, but her head touched the pillow first and she laid on her stomach, closing her eyes, "Five more minutes..." she whispered.  
More than five minutes later, Rey's roommate, Rose Tico yelled, "Rey!" from outside her door. She knocked and knocked until the door finally opened and revealed a panicked Rey looking right at Rose, eyes enlarged.
“Shit!" Rey shouted as she ran toward their bathroom.
"Well, good morning to you too!" Rose said quickly as she followed Rey.
Rey opened the bathroom door and said over her shoulder, "Sorry, Rose! I can't believe I overslept ahh!"
Rose approached the bathroom, the door slightly ajar, and could hear the water turning on. She could hear the shower curtain moving to one side, then back. Rose crossed her arms, "I knew something was wrong when the smell of coffee didn't wake me up. I've gotten used to that alarm clock."
Rey laughed, "What a way to start the week huh?"
"Yeah, Mondays are the worst!" Rose said in agreement. "Did you want me to make coffee? I have the afternoon shift this week so I—"
"It's okay Rose! I'm just going to grab something at the corner café, thanks though!"
"Okay..." Rose checked her watch and said, "It's ten after 7, Rey..."
"Oh my God! Why is the time going by so fucking fast?!"
Rose laughed, "I'd like to know that too! See you later then, Rey."
In the shower, Rey was rinsing her hair when she barely could hear Rose and said, "Okay!" Rey closed her eyes, making sure she didn't get any shampoo in her eyes; that's something else she didn't need this morning.
Minutes later, Rey walked outside her apartment building, the sun shining brightly in her direction. She breathed the air in, taking the warm sun hitting her face. She turned briefly, feeling the sun touch her wet messy bun then started to walk. Rey could feel it was going to be another crisp autumn day in New Republic City. It was a huge metropolis filled with different boroughs and neighborhoods. Rey first came to the city when she started University. That was seven years ago and she still had not been to all the neighborhoods.
Rey was half a block away from the corner café to get a quick coffee before the ten-minute drive to Takodana when she saw Ben walk outside of the corner café, walking her way. She gasped without meaning to. She had been thinking of him but seeing him made her heart beat a little faster.
Ben Solo took a sip of his coffee then instantly found Rey's intense stare. He swallowed, thankful his coffee didn't go another way due to being taken back at seeing his ex-girlfriend so soon. He was going to say something but his eyes looked quickly at her shirt, then back into her eyes. He immediately grinned, satisfied at what he saw.
Rey was surprised that Ben had a fucking grin. She narrowed her eyes, "Ben," she simply said as they were passing each other.
Ben nodded and said in return, "Rey." His voice sounded so familiar, gentle, and deep. Rey would not admit it but she missed his damn voice. She shook her head and was about to say something else when she noticed his grin was not going away.
Rey scoffed, walked away, and abruptly stopped as she swore she heard him chuckle. She would not look back, nope she told herself. She looked down and instantly found why he grinned, "Fuck!" She said a little too loudly. A mother with her young daughter was walking by her just then and she received a dark glare from the mother. Rey shrugged and mouthed sorry to her, not receiving a second glance. Rey shrugged and looked back at her shirt, underneath her black blazer. She was wearing his shirt! His fucking shirt. In the rush to get ready, instead of putting on a solid gray shirt she accidentally put on his gray shirt with the name of his favorite band: The Knights of Ren. Rey shook her head and looked back toward the apartment, Ben nowhere in sight. She looked away and sighed, hating that he grinned like the cocky asshole he is! "Gahh!" Rey shook her head in frustration. It was too late to change now. Rey looked at her phone, cursed again, and walked the last couple of steps toward the café.
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hockeylvr59 · 5 years ago
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Life Changes Part 2 || Paul Bissonnette
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Summary: It’s crazy how quickly your life can change...one minute you’re a struggling personal injury lawyer and the next you’re working for one of the hottest sports podcasts to supplement your income. A new job and the end of a long term relationship was just the beginning for Leigh Thompson when it comes to life changes. Thankfully she has the one and only Paul Bissonnette at her side to help her handle them all.
Authors Note: Part 2 of my Biz rewrite. Goodbye Boston...hello ? (well you know if you’ve already read the original part three but if not I won’t spoil it.)
Requested: [ ] yes [x] no      Warnings: language, infidelity     Word Count: 2070
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“Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and remove yourself from the unacceptable.”  
With our sponsorship meeting scheduled for eleven, I was up with my alarm at precisely eight am. After pulling myself out of bed, I quickly threw on sweats and a sweatshirt to head down to the lobby for breakfast. I really didn’t expect to see any of the guys until it was time to head across town to the sponsor’s office. After my travel yesterday and night out, it was relaxing to just curl up in a chair with a muffin and some orange juice to watch the news on the tv. Slowly I pulled myself from the lingering remnants of sleep and shook off the desire to crawl back into bed.
Despite being a lawyer, I hated dressing in suits and the fact that they weren’t required for day to day in law school had been a godsend. Today though it was a necessity, so after applying a light coat of natural makeup and pulling my hair into a messy bun, I slipped into a pair of dress slacks and a light floral blouse. Checking the clock, I made note that I needed to leave in about fifteen minutes so after making sure I had all of the materials I’d prepared for the meeting, I slipped my suit jacket and winter coat on before quickly slipping my feet into heels. Though I hated them, sadly they were almost a necessity and expected when it came to business.
Balancing the padfolio full of material and my purse in my arms, I quickly moved to the elevator, praying that I wouldn’t fall over or trip in the heels. Half the group was in the lobby when I arrived this time, laughing and talking about what had happened after I’d left the night before. We exchanged ‘good mornings’ and once everyone was there a few minutes later we hailed a cab to the office building of the new potential sponsor.
Upon our arrival, we were given a quick tour before being escorted up to the conference room for the meeting. The first hour of meetings went by quickly and we were close to wrapping things up to the point that the lawyer for the podcast would have to just look them over and that would be it. A phone call with the VP we were meeting with delayed matters and so given the break I excused myself to the bathroom.
On my way back to the conference room I could hear Whit and Biz talking with someone, their voices carrying down the hall. The moment I heard the third voice I froze, stepping back into the wall before peeking around the corner. Hearing my ex’s voice made my skin crawl and I honestly wanted to just disappear back into the bathroom. I had forgotten he worked for this company and was frequently in the Boston office. I knew I shouldn’t be eavesdropping but when I tried to turn away, my body wouldn’t move. There was also a part of me that was glutton for punishment and needed to know what they were talking about. Either way, I certainly wasn’t going to continue in that direction and have to encounter the man who had broken my heart. I wasn’t sure I was strong enough for that.
“Yeah, yeah I’m a huge fan of the podcast, you guys are great.”
Hearing those words leave his mouth disgusted me, but also made me want to laugh out loud because he had no idea who they were. I was the fan and he had only listened because he’d been in the car with me. It was just the kind of thing I’d expect from him though, always trying to make himself fit in even if it required lying.
Distracted by my thoughts about his many unattractive qualities, I’d missed a fourth male approaching the group but my ears certainly caught the mention of the word ‘wife.’
“Oh yeah, she’s great. Still can’t believe I’m finally married.” Glancing around the corner once more I saw my ex clap the unknown man on the back before turning back to Whit and Biz. “Got married last week after three years of being together. Guess it was about time huh?”
As his words processed in my brain I felt like I wanted to hurl. He was married and had been with another woman the entire time he’d been with you? It took everything in me to push the tears back for the moment knowing I needed to get back to the meeting and that arriving with smudged makeup would probably not look very professional. Glancing down the hallway I remembered that the office was basically a square and that I could get back to the conference room by going the other way.
The entire rest of the meeting was a blur. Though I tried to keep my mind focused, I couldn’t help the feeling of betrayal that kept pushing itself toward the front of my mind.  Whits and Biz never returned but it wasn’t a big deal at this point anyway. Gathering up the final version of the sponsorship contract, I finished shaking hands with the company’s executives and then quickly made my way to the emergency stairs, flying down all fifteen floors before bursting through the lobby and out to the side of the building where I finally let the tears flood forward.
I’d been back outside for maybe fifteen minutes before my phone started ringing in my purse. Ignoring it first once and then twice, I tried to pull myself together to no avail. When I finally wrapped my shaking fingers around it and pulled it out of my purse there were texts wondering where I’d disappeared to because I wasn’t in the conference room when the guys had returned.
Still struggling to breathe I simply texted back that I was outside, if there were typos, that was just too bad, before leaning back against the wall, again struggling to try and find composure. I didn’t really care what I looked like to anyone passing by, or that my makeup was a mess because none of that compared to the dirty, used feeling that came with finding out I was the other woman. That someone else had been intimate with him when he was intimate with me.
It felt like forever before the familiar voices approached and within moments of hearing them, I was being pulled into a solid chest, strong arms wrapping around my back.
“Shh….” Sounds of comfort filled my ears, as a hand rubbed my back, only pulling away when my breathing had steadied. Glancing up embarrassed, my eyes met the warm brown set belonging to Paul Bissonnette. “Leigh…what happened?”
I knew that I owed them an explanation but even thinking about saying the words made me wobble on my heels.
“Later…can…can we get out of here?” I found myself pleading, voice moist and cracking trying to get any sounds to come out at all. Confused, concerned, and completely unaware of how to handle this, the guys simply just nodded after a moment, calling an uber to take us back to the hotel. When we got there they let me head back to my room but declared that they were going to bring lunch back.
A knock on my hotel door sounded their arrival and I quickly finished wiping my smudged makeup off my face before opening the door and letting them in. Now changed back into sweats I felt more like myself but changing my clothes couldn’t change the fact that my entire life felt like a lie now. The smell of pizza filled the air as the four men made themselves comfortable on the chairs around the table and the unoccupied bed beside my own.
No one said a word at first, instead shoving pizza into their mouths. I was hungry but my mind refused to let me eat right now.
“I’m sorry…” I whispered, blinking back another round of tears. Grinnell, the youngest of the group, was, of course, the first to open his mouth.  
“What the hell happened back there? When we stepped out of the room the sponsorship negotiations were going fine.”
A strangled chuckle escaped my throat at his words and I sighed softly.
“Me crying…has absolutely nothing to do with the sponsorship. The meeting was fine, the lawyer just needs to look the final version of the contract over.” That statement caused even more confused looks as they all wracked their brains trying to figure out what could possibly have upset you so much. Sinking into the mattress of the hotel bed as far as I could, I pulled my knees to my chest. I really just wanted to be left alone but I was fairly certain these guys wouldn’t leave my room until they had answers.
“That guy you were talking to in the hallway…” I trailed off waiting for acknowledgment from Whits and Biz. “That…He’s the ex.” Swallowing hard, I waited in hopes that they would put the pieces together so that I didn’t have to spell it out.
“Motherfucker.” The curse that spilled from Whits lips clearly signaled that at least he had gotten the point and when he stood up and started pacing I tugged my bottom lip between my teeth after murmuring a soft ‘yeah.’
Silence followed and when I looked up again Biz was red, stewing in anger having put it all together in his head as well. RA and Grinnell just looked confused and I sent a pleading look to Ryan to explain it to them.
“The fucker that dumped her because he ‘found someone else’ just two weeks ago comes up to us today declaring that he’s a big fan and during the conversation, one of his coworkers comes to congratulate him on the wedding. That asshole has been seeing his now wife for three years prior to them getting married last week. Shit Leigh. He’s a fucking asshole and moron.”
Hearing that he was an idiot and that I deserved better helped in a way but it didn’t take away the ache knowing that I’d been the other woman for eight months and that he’d dumped me either because he thought he’d get caught or his real girlfriend was pushing for marriage and he finally felt guilty. The knowledge that every time he had a business trip or couldn’t come see me was because he was likely with his actual girlfriend made my skin crawl and suddenly I was crying uncontrollably again.
Seeing me cry made Biz jump to his feet, still fuming.
“I’m gonna go down there and kick his ass.” Gasping, I quickly climbed off the bed to stand in front of him, my hand falling to his forearm as it flexed, his hand clenching into a fist.
“No…please just let it be…all of you. I…I don’t want him to know I know. Please, please promise you won’t go back there.” Biz’s arm twitched under my touch as he dropped the fist and I heard him sigh as he pulled me into a hug.
“Alright. I’ll let it be. But if you change your mind let me know.” Murmuring a thank you, I attempted to force a smile onto my face.
“Good. Now if all of you could get out I’d appreciate it. I’d like to be alone for a bit.”
In turn, each hugged me, insisting that I text them if I needed anything, before leaving me alone in the hotel room. As the door clicked shut I crawled back into bed, tugging the covers over myself so that I could cry myself to sleep.
Around 8 that night, a knock had come at my door before disappearing, quickly followed by a text from Biz that he’d left me a pint of ice cream and to please not let it melt all over the hallway floor.
Other than that small gesture in which I didn’t even see Biz, I kept to myself in a state of mourning, not seeing any of the boys before flying back out of Boston.
I wasn’t close to accepting what had happened or forgiving my jerk of an ex anytime in this lifetime, but thankfully I could at least remove myself from the city which broke my heart in two all over again, tearing open the freshly healed scars.
Sponsorship meeting outfit:
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catfishandthebottlefan · 5 years ago
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#13 - Your Room’s on the First Floor
A/N- Hi! I know I haven’t been posting a lot, I’m sorry about that. But here’s a long-ish one for y’all. It’s nearly midnight here so sorry if there’s typos 😂 i love this one, it’s HELLA fluffy :) ~ Anna xxx
You stepped into the warmth of the B&B, quickly removing your sodden coat and hanging it on the free-standing wooden rack in the large hallway. You wiped your black Doc Martens on the doormat before removing them and placing them on the shoe rack to the left of the front door. Mary and Bernie’s B&B felt homely, with family photos hung on the walls, and their own shoes and coats on the racks as well as those of their guests. For example, next to your relatively new black Docs sat an identical (but larger) pair - old and scuffed, but clearly well-loved and worn. You presumed these belonged to the couple’s son, whom you’d never seen or met, but his parents spoke fondly enough of him for you to know he was a nice boy. 
The B&B felt quiet; nobody seemed to be home, which was unusual. However, you had returned at an unusual time compared to most guests, who would usually appear at about 6 or 7pm after having had their dinner, whereas it was only quarter past 2. You were sick of seeing your mum and new step-dad “canoodling” like a pair of sickeningly loved-up teenagers, and were sick of being told to “cheer up, you’re on holiday”. How did they expect you to be full of joy when they’d brought you to the arse-end of Wales? It was nothing like the holidays you went on with your dad, to exotic places like Morocco or Italy. 
“We’ve been through this, Y/N, Steve and I just don’t have money like your dad-” 
“Well if you’d stayed with Dad instead of fucking off with some old git from your shitty job, and somehow dragging me with you, we’d still be able to go on nice holidays!” 
And that was when you’d stormed off back to the B&B, leaving them to hold hands under the sunset, or eat fish and chips on the beach, or buy cheesy fridge magnets for no other reason than to disguise the complete mundaneness of the absolute shit holiday. Well, that’s what you’d presumed they’d end up doing, although you tried to kid yourself that you didn’t care, and that you didn’t cry yourself to sleep at night wishing that you could go back all those years, to when your parents were together and life was less shit. 
In a way, you were glad you’d had the argument, as it meant you had an excuse to go back and have a smoke. Smoking was your guilty pleasure, and, although you didn’t consider yourself addicted, you loved the sense of relief that came with sitting down and having a cigarette, watching the end light up and fall off as you gently sucked on the filter. There was something therapeutic about watching the embers fall off and create ash at your feet, and watch the patterns created in the cloud of smoke that would surround your face. 
Now wearing just your Oasis t-shirt, ripped jeans and fluffy socks, you walked up the carpeted stairs towards your room. However, once you reached the first floor, you stopped in your tracks. Was that a guitar you could hear?
You followed the melody up another flight, and along the second floor landing, until you reached a tiny room right at the very end of the hallway. The door was ever so slightly ajar, and you could now hear the lyrics of the song more clearly - When You Were Young by The Killers. The mystery guitar player clearly had good taste.
You stood outside the door, on the hinge side so the occupants of the room couldn’t see you, listening to the music. However, you decided you had to burst in when the lyric was changed to “he doesn’t look a thing like Larry”, preceded by a crescendo of laughter, part of which was coming from yourself.
“Um, hi,” you said, rather shyly considering the fact that you were the one who’d interrupted them, “I love this song.”
You looked up from your feet to see a long-haired boy sitting cross-legged on the ground, an acoustic guitar in his lap. Like you, he wore ripped jeans and fluffy socks, however he wore a The Streets hoodie. He was accompanied by another equally long-haired boy, however this one’s hair was pushed back by a headband, and he was barefoot, wearing a black Adidas tracksuit. 
“The Killers, absolutely class band, innit.” said Guitar boy, looking up at you, “You look cold.”
After he said that, you realised exactly how drenched you were. As much as you loved your black calf-length trenchcoat, you realised it wasn’t quite waterproof to Welsh standards.
“I did get a bit soaked actually,” you chuckled, “I should go get changed-”
“No, wait, sit down,” Guitar boy instructed, and you did as he said, “What are you doing back so early anyway? Mum said not to expect any guests till 6.”
“Oh, you’re the son, then!” you burst out.
Headband boy laughed. “He’s the son.”
“Sorry, this isn’t the best of introductions is it?” you laughed, aware of your own apparent rudeness, “I’m Y/N, and you are-?”
Both boys spoke up at the same time.
“I’m Van.” said Guitar boy.
“Larry.” said Headband boy.
“It’s nice to meet you both,” you stood up, turning to go back to your own room, “But I actually just came back for a ciggie and I..umm... got a bit lost. I thought this was my room. Anyway, I better get back-”
“Hey, don’t leave so soon!” Van said, seemingly offended, “Look, we have plenty of fags under here!” 
He reached under his bed to pull out a packet of Lambert and Butler Blue. He took one out expertly before handing it to you.
“Got a light?” you asked, “Mine’s in my room, I really don’t mind going and getting my own if you don’t want to share-”
“Just shut up and take the free fag,” Larry interrupted, “What do you smoke anyway?”
“Anything I can get my hands on, but Marlboro Silver at the moment-”
“Marlboro? You’re posh!” Larry teased, “They’re well expensive!”
“I’m not posh!” you laughed, going red in the face.
“She is well posh, have you seen her mum and dad?” Van chipped in.
“Not my dad.” you replied, deftly. The phrase had almost become a reflex now.
“Wait, how do you know my parents? I’ve been here three days and I haven’t seen you once!” 
You leant against Van as he explained how he’d been at Larry’s, which was “just down the road there, then the avenue, opposite the chippy”. You shivered as you puffed the cigarette.
Van put his hand on your arm. “Love, you’re fucking freezing!”
Before you even had time to refuse, Van pulled his hoodie off and put it over your head. You wriggled out of your t-shirt from underneath, and pulled your knees under the cosy jumper. It was still warm from when Van had been wearing it.
You noticed more and more about the boys after you’d warmed up a bit. Van was now wearing a white t-shirt with the sleeves cut off, and used his bare arms as an excuse to sit closer to you, “as you’ve nicked my jumper”. He told you about his band, after you asked about the handwritten lyric sheets strewn across the floor of what you presumed was his bedroom, although the room was tiny.
“Bet your band’s shit,” you teased, Larry joining in.
“Yeah it’s well crap, only sold two tickets and that was to my brother and his mate,” Larry laughed, “And their songs are shite.”
“They’re not!” Van protested, his voice going an octave higher, “Look, I’ll play one to you right now!”
“Go on then, Julian Casablancas.” you retorted.
“Fine, okay, this one’s called ASA-”
“Not that one, it’s proper shit!” Larry objected, “It’s about meeting up to have sex with Ab-”
“Shut the fuck up, Larry.” Van almost growled.
“Who’s Abbie?” you asked, curiously, “Friends with benefits?”
“No!” Van confirmed, “An ex-girlfriend.”
“Basically, all the songs he’s ever written are about her.” Larry whispered in your ear.
“Well, I guess he has someone new to write a song about now.” you said, looking Van in the eyes.
“I guess I do.”
--
The next day, you saw Van helping his parents at breakfast, and he handed you a screwed up piece of paper when he served you. You placed it in your pocket, and, after you’d finished, ran straight up to your room to read it.
Beach, 20 mins, the note read, in scrawled handwriting.
You got dressed hastily, throwing on your black denim skirt, with fishnets underneath, and Van’s hoodie. You told your mum you’d made a friend and could you spend the day with them, so she and Steve could have some alone time. Steve almost looked relieved, nodding his head, and your mum seemed too occupied in reading her Facebook messages to acknowledge the information. 
You took it as a yes.
Just as you put your boots on, Mary appeared from the kitchen.
“Hi, love, where are you off to? Ooh, I like your jumper, our Van has one exactly like that, doesn’t he, Bern?” 
“Just the beach, I’m meeting a friend there for some lunch-”
Bernie appeared from behind her, and patted you on the shoulder reassuringly, “Have fun, love.”
You weren’t too sure if you knew the way to the beach, but you followed the family in front of you and, luckily, they were going there too. You found Van, sitting on the wall separating the gift shops from the sand, acoustic guitar on his lap.
“That’s my fuckin’ jumper!” he greeted you enthusiastically, jumping off the wall to hug you. 
You smiled, pulling the note out of your pocket, “So, explain this.”
Van sat himself back down on the wall.
“Well, I needed a new girl to write a song about, and you were a good excuse.” he smiled, cheekily.
He brushed your blonde fringe out of your eyes.
“Your eyes are well-blue y’know,” he said, dreamily, “like, I dunno, they’re quite delicate, but also brave, like the sea or summit-”
“Shut up,” you chuckled, although your heart felt warm.
“And your hair, I love it,” he continued, “it’s just you. Messy, windswept, but warm and kind - I like the colour.” “My hair isn’t naturally blonde, you know.” you replied quietly, staring at his lips.
He leaned in closer, so your foreheads were almost touching.
“And you have freckles-”
“Shut up and kiss me.” you muttered, pressing your lips against his.
The kiss was a million fireworks, tender yet exciting, lighting up a fire inside your chest that you’d forgotten existed.
As you pulled away, you noticed Van smirking, a glint in his eye.
“That was part of the plan, wasn’t it!” You squealed, outraged, “Compliment her till she kisses you!”
“No!” he replied, his voice once again getting higher in volume and pitch, “I was gonna sing to you first.”
He grabbed your hand, helping you up onto the wall. He strummed the first chord of the song.
I can tell by your grin That you're lying through your fringe again This talk is getting us nowhere Let's set sail for nowhere It was just one night And it was just one time And you looked amazing From what I was taking Keep breathing, keep breathing Settle down in your home It's only rainfall Keep breathing, keep breathing Settle down in your home It's only rainfall You know it's only rainfall
As he strummed the last chord of the somewhat short song, you smiled.
“It’s not finished yet-” 
“Shhh, it was perfect.” you whispered.
“But when exactly did I lie?” you asked, more loudly.
Van chuckled.
“When you said you got lost. Your room’s on the first floor.”
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cryptosharks1 · 5 years ago
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Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Finance & Global News – March 22nd 2020
VIDEO TRANSCRIPT
Hi guys. Thanks for tuning in to tell episode of nuggets news. Well another truly amazing week we’ve got so much macro news and crypto news to get through. A lot of that is intertwined these days so I do encourage you to watch the full video. We welcome a couple of thousand new subscribers. Thanks so much for following us we’re trying to give you the most up to date information we’ve got literally thousands of people contacting us through all our channels wanting to know how to learn about gold and silver Bitcoin crypto currency what is going on in the economy. So we’ve got all these free resources on our Web site guys. So said friends and family they’re all your favorite videos. This video we encourage you to share all that content. That’s why we’ve been busy making it all for you for the past few years for these types of situations particularly a big thank you to our members like all businesses we are relying on you for our revenue and I employ 13 people now and I know I need that money coming in to keep them employed to keep giving you guys the best content. So huge thank you. 58 new members in our premium area read that welcome post guys stick by the rules it’s all functioning really well for the most up to date information you know to the minute type updates from everything around the world and I can’t thank you guys enough for the way that’s all running at the moment. Let’s get into the local news first where Prime Minister Scott Morrison has just gone live. He’s unveiled a far bigger stimulus package. I’m all for anything that gets money in the hands of people that are losing their jobs. We just need to make sure that people can get by. And I know a lot of people are still saying he says well you know how do I keep my business going and this time the other big guys. The reality is businesses are going to close. It’s going to be bad. This is what I’ve been talking about. A lot of people have never had a rainy day and we need to acknowledge that you know let’s support people. Let’s make sure there’s food on the table. They don’t have to pay their rent their mortgage their power bills. We need to just you know do everything we can to get by until this all passes and it will pass so I’m not getting into all the details of that package. We’re going to go through all the different countries and what they’ve done so I’ll let you guys read the details of those specifics but I certainly think there’s been no mistruths pushed by the media. So look at these stats again from today from Core Logic and all the real estate industry telling us that house prices are still going up by the day. I mean who on earth believes this stuff and we know that it’s all connected particularly in Australia where we need to protect house prices from going down. That’s very hard to do when people start losing their jobs and have a lot of investment properties because it’s all connected now. Our banks the most exposed in the world in terms of their mortgage books. So yes the government are going to do everything they can to rescue the banks. We’ve seen all these excuses around the world now encouraging people not to take out cash or you know telling you the reasons why you can’t even spend your own cash. So look these things are to be expected. If you’ve been following the channel we’ve been saying this is going to happen and it’s just happened probably faster than we thought because of these recent catalysts. So earlier this week a lot of super funds including Australia’s largest Super Fund sent out emails to clients basically saying you know markets go up and down you have to really ask yourself if it’s if it’s a work taking these unnecessary risks and trading your super assets. So a bit of a typo there that tells you that that was rushed and panicked and telling people not to sell. Markets are since down another 15 per cent and I know a lot of people with their super fund are hurting at the moment. I certainly feel for you guys the RBA coming out and they’re going to have to print this money and buy our bonds. The next step is obviously corporate bonds and then stocks you know mortgage backed securities in other countries. It is just insane the level of stimulus that we’re seeing at the moment. And obviously bitcoin and go to the two things they can’t print. We’ll get to that in just a second but all this leads to the collapse of the Aussie dollar down to 55 cents you can’t quite see that behind me there sorry. That’s. This is one of the side effects of our economy that I’ve been warning about since we made our documentary over a year ago. And this pushes up yields. So when the government is now issuing debt because governments are going to run up huge huge debts and they’re issuing these bonds trying to get people to give them money but people aren’t going to give them money when they know the economy’s in trouble and this is when interest rates rise and that’s when central banks might be forced to raise interest rates. And that is just the nightmare scenario having to raise interest rates. Well everyone’s got all this debt. This situation is really messy and that’s why everyone is looking to escape into these perceived safe haven. So look good timing over in Italy where some of those banks are opening up bitcoin trading. One point two million you’re in lockdown. So these are the options the on ramps that we’ve been talking about that are now really global for people to escape the crumbling financial system. I did a detailed video on that all the different options you have to get into US dollars gold silver Bitcoin stable coins the counterparty risks of each of those so watch that video share it with friends and family if you haven’t already. FCX have got two gold stable coins a T and Pax G is the other one over there and they’ve also recently added Aussie dollars as an on ramp so you can connect your bank account and it’s a very quick way to get into US dollars or stable coins and then you can withdraw those and keep them on your hobby wallet or your ledger as well as other tutorials I’ve done recently on how to hedge if you’ve got your gold and silver holdings or bitcoin holdings as well there’s ways to hedge with the other products. All right. So what are you that managing your own money. Very happy right about now and we’re hearing all these stories about super funds and the delays. We’ve had a record amount of people start to manage their own so finding super funds so I’m gonna get Mike on this week because there’s a lot of questions now about can we withdraw from our super fund another thing that the government announced today. So hopefully we can address all those questions really clearly. One thing I will mention with that announcement from the government is that if people are withdrawing that ten thousand dollars or more from their super you remember the stock market is down it’s probably gonna keep going down. So all that money that you’re drawing now could be more down the road. Now some people don’t believe we’re going to have retirement funds in decades from now but that can start more of a ceiling because traders and investors are going to say Well everyone’s going to be selling to take many of their super. I’m going to front run that selling. And so that can I just think it’s coming together. There’s nothing that is going to make markets go higher anytime soon until this all passes. So that’s the financial side of things in terms of the health care side of things. I thought our government were going to announce more measures on Friday. They’ve come out again today and extended things encouraging people not to do non-essential travel. But it’s still not really enforcing any of this. It’s up to you as the individual just like no one’s going to save you from the world of finance. No one’s going to make you healthy and no one is going to protect you and look after you guys you have to take that responsibility yourself and a lot of you guys know that you’ve been following the channel you prepared for everything that’s happening now. So yes schools still aren’t closed. There’s talk as I’m recording of New South Wales and Victoria looking to implement that in the next 48 hours as soon as one state does it they’re probably all going to follow. But yeah I’m certainly surprised I’m giving everything that’s happening firstly on Friday. It was one cruise ship. Now it’s five separate cruises that have all had confirmed cases those people are scattered throughout Australia. We haven’t really seen that spike yet but if this doesn’t scale nothing will. This is a beach on easily 12 days ago. This is absolutely reminiscent of what we’re seeing in Australia down here in Tassie. I spoke to friends. They went for a walk this morning. All the restaurants are packed all the bars are packed. No one is taking this seriously yet and no one is taking it seriously. In Italy twelve days ago just have a look at where they are now. These excuses that we’re hearing it’s only all people 54 percent of New York City’s cases are between 18 and 49 year olds. So it is not just affecting all people at all. We’ve now got cases of babies as young as seven months old and and children that are getting this so please guys you have to realize the severity of what’s going on at the moment. I’ll just press refresh here. There’s a couple of Web sites giving us up to date information on the Australian statistics. But this is just growing continually. You know 20 percent a day exponentially we haven’t even slowed it yet mathematically we are still on track to you know to hit the number that is going to overwhelm our hospitals unless we slow this down. So we’re not quite as bad as Italy and Iran. We’re somewhere in the middle here. We are certainly not down here near Singapore and we’re not flattening the curve like the government is is telling us that they you know they’re really happy with the job they’ve done so look a couple of positives here. Kofi to help dot com today you. This is a website built by one of our friends. It lists all the freebies and the help how you can help other people charities check that out in the time of need we’ve got to come together and help each other globally. Let’s just refresh that. Three hundred eight thousand now at time of recording the deaths ratio has actually gone up a little bit recently. Again we don’t know how accurate this is in terms of total that are going undiagnosed and not tested recovery takes a little bit longer. Two or three weeks you’re in hospital in a lot of cases. So we get the deaths before we get the recoveries. That’s all to go through the system but the wiring thing here is that even on the exponential scale we’re now accelerating higher again in across Europe across Australia across the US. All right let’s go to China another 50 percent plunge after 44 percent last month. So these auto sales a lot of industries are down 90 percent. There’s talk that China’s factories and people going back to work. Now we don’t know if they just try to push out those stats or if that is the truth. I certainly don’t believe the numbers we’ve seen some photos from hospitals with new cases in China. So they’re saying I’ve got zero new cases I’m not sure if I believe that Secretary I’m a nutrition. Now the same guy who said that cash is not used for money laundering now says that won’t cause a recession in the US so I’m not sure what he’s looking at. But if you have a look at some of these State of the restaurant industry statistics Australia hasn’t been hard hit yet because we’re a week or two behind the rest of the world. But globally restaurants are down 98 percent Canada is down 100 percent. The friends that I talk to that own restaurants and businesses having to fire staff this week there’s just no nice way to put it guys this is the reality we face where we have to lock down and if we do that for a month that gives us the greatest chance to pull through the other side. Five hundred thousand jobless claims in Canada. I certainly think some of these estimates about unemployment and GDP are going to be around 10 per cent loss. And this is kind of the slack that governments are gradually picking up in terms of the stimulus that they’re putting out. Trump looking to give every American a thousand dollars. We’ve now got similar things in all the different countries. Yeah. I think you have to do it. Some people get to complain about government debt. That’s another issue altogether. They were already running huge deficits but we’ve got to make sure that people have food on the table in the US. Some of my friends are telling me that the swearing over there about how the system is you know treating different patients with different health care and insurance and some of the backlogs for just getting those admissions and claims and whatnot it’s another headache altogether. So if you know more about that let me know down in the comments below about how that’s going to work once those U.S. hospitals start to get busy and people losing their jobs. New Jersey the latest one to shut down. I think the total is now around 100 million in terms of Americans that are in lockdown. National Guards deployed because people aren’t taking it seriously. Similar over to the UK in Europe now where British police are giving people powers to detain suspected cases of people that quarantine themselves. And this is where the totalitarian invasion of privacy is beginning now. There’s all sorts of conspiracy theories going around but the big tech giants being asked to hand over all that data once they do that there’s no going back. I guess that’s what what worries me. So yeah they’re asking the big tech giants to hand over all these tracking data so they know where you are every time even if you turn your location data off and your phone off. Edward Snowden has told us that you know these new smartphones. That’s why you can’t take the battery out because they’re always triangulating your signal to the different cell towers. Now tying that together with how you can maintain your privacy with a VPN a P2P VPN office offering free services so it’s lovely to see all these communities looking out for each other. In this time of need so orchard this is actually a cool little project that I’m going to talk about more in future. Great stuff there at the brave browser. If you don’t use these already to block all the ads and to block all the data it’s free to use download brave browser but are they really taking on the big tech giants with all these privacy issues at the moment. Bank of England have canceled all their stress tests. Look all these stress tests don’t plan for these sort of situations so you know it’s all a bit of a walk in the park and they take these boxes and tell the public how strong the banks are. Well look look at them now they’re all getting bailed out. You know a week into a bear market Britain 2000 sorry. Twenty five thousand dollars to the local businesses there AC base got out their bazooka in terms of QE and other stimulus. The stock market has hit record highs in the VIX closing at 82. So that’s perceived volatility from the stock market. They’re saying that markets could currently what they’re pricing in is that it could go 82 percent lower. Now that rarely actually eventuates but that’s just the level of fee at the moment in the S&P 500 in the volatility index. The Lehman playbook continues So the Fed have unveiled another bailout this time for the money market funds. The Fed is going to have to bail out everyone the engineers of the 2009 bailout say that this has to be bigger than the GFC bailout. These numbers are off the charts. Outflows absolutely everybody is getting out of ETF bond funds. The stock market investment grade bonds people are just running for the exits and trying to go into US dollars. And there’s simply not enough dollars in the world at the moment that’s why the Fed is having to expand their credit and bail out all the different countries including Australia at the moment distressed debt has doubled in the U.S. in two weeks half a trillion dollars now. So this is that spike that they’re talking about the interview with Marika to star will be out this week. He’s the commodities expert and a lot of these junk bonds that have been issued by the U.S. oil frack is shale producers. They can’t pay that. They don’t have any revenue and positive cash flow they’re going to default on all this debt and that can stop the next wave down in the stock market. So Boeing is just one example of a company that repurchased over 100 billion dollars in stock and now they’ve had their debt downgraded to sorry 4.5 trillion dollars worth of buybacks have occurred. And this is what’s pushed up stock prices and now all these U.S. execs are demanding that taxpayer funded bailouts of shareholders after they’ve spent all that money buying back shares and making themselves rich. The Fed extending its currency exchange program to all those central banks around the world. I just mentioned that confirmed these theories and these rumors that were going around earlier in the week that the Fed are now bailing out hedge funds. Absolutely crazy stuff and a lot of people still completely unaware this is happening. Insiders were dumping their stock. So this is Kelly Loeffler who came out and denied that she said all her investment fund manager. So really stock so the day after they were briefed about how things were how bad things are getting in China and how it was going to affect other countries and come to the U.S. these you know the elites that were in this meeting room dumping millions of dollars of shares in things like hotels and airline companies and whatnot. So wait to see if that goes to criminal charges. But man I mean these people are just so corrupt. So the record number of CEOs left they saw this coming. Two hundred nineteen CEOs left in January after we already had record amounts in the months leading after that. So the reach that are paying themselves a hundred 200 or 300 times the salary of the average worker they’ve got so much money they’ve gone to their private islands or their bunker or whatnot and they’ve got out privatized the profits and then published the public put stumbling my words he guys publicized the losses. So get the government to bail you out. Taxpayers. So so frustrating to watch these happen and I hope this brings about change. You know the bank of Japan have been buying up trillions of dollars worth of yen of stock markets. They own all the ETF. And a lot of shares they own all the government bonds and I’ve lost money doing so. So if this doesn’t bring about radical change in our financial system I just don’t know what does. We need a new system and obviously hopefully a lot of the decentralized world those ledges that cut out people in the middle and bring about transparency and trust was what would get a 10 to couple of positives to finish on the FDA have authorized these new 45 minute rapid point of care tests. We’re getting stories that people of you know in one case people have died waiting for test results to come back. There’s more tests and newer tests being designed in manufactured in Australia. Hopefully these things are still a few weeks away. But look all the smartest minds are out there trying to work on solutions. High hopes for a treatment. We’ve seen some positive results in a few of these other HIV drugs. I spoke about that in yesterday’s video a little bit say look these trials are going to take weeks as well. Anti malaria drugs. There’s a few others that have shown benefits for me. What I recommend you do. I’m going to do a whole whiteboard video about this but it’s just getting your immune system as healthy as you can help. You know he’s eating healthy trying to de stress I know that’s tough at times like these with meditation or going for a walk or just tuning out at nighttime you know you vitamin C.. Personally I love eating you know that the spicy foods getting you chilli garlic Asian food really healthy style diet. Guys get your immune system ready to fight off anything that he catches a lot of jobs are going to come out of this as well as a lot of job losses so people are going to all be wanting to get hired at Amazon Coles and Woolworths are putting on people. I think we tend to see huge demand for extra health care workers. Maybe we can do some fast tracking you know one month basic nursing course. Something like not just all hands on deck society coming together almost like a wartime effort until we until we beat this. For those of you that are wanting to trade this just remind you of how risky and how volatile markets are. But if you do want to short the stock market don’t use any leverage or anything like that. It is possible to still make money but I think for most people now it’s about hedging whether that your currency risk your portfolio your crypto holdings or whatever you want to be hedging and protecting your capital. So we’ve got that hundred dollars free bitcoin sign up for those that are interested in trading these guys off of that virtual account. And if all you want to do is practice trading in these sort of conditions you know that is going to be a lifelong skillful when we have that you know the next market cycle whether it’s 10 or 20 years from now. So look even a practice account is good for learning while you’re at home. Let’s get into the crypto news where bonds and with Xerox have announced a 50 million dollar block chain fund in India. These guys are doing great stuff. They’ve got a token that’s been performing extremely well again of late. So once crypto markets turn around I think exchange tokens are ones that are going to do well. Ripple have cemented their Asian presence with more partnerships in Thailand with fintech Company D money their car down in the headlines again. Charles Hoskinson did go live and say this wasn’t a big deal. This was an old partner. Nothing to worry about and it’s not going to affect the launch of their may net which has been months and years in the making now. So hopefully Shelly does come out soon. The Teslas Foundation has settled a lawsuit for 25 million and saying that they’re sick of paying all these legal fees. We know how much lawyers love to charge and in the crypto world we’ve got steam in the community. They’re actually hard for the network and they’re relaunching hive as they’re calling it they’re after everything that’s been going on with Justin sun trying to buy out the network. So great to see a decentralized community coming together there storage decentralized cloud storage is in computing. I’m very bullish on these type of projects. They’re tardy grade upgrades now live. This is a perfect example all the theorem being able to have these censorship resistant file storage so Chinese journalists are sharing reports on a theorem because if they tried to share them on the Internet they can get censored and blocked and shut down. So this is the decentralized World in Action that Micah has had its issues this week. The system didn’t function as it should because the theorem got clogged during that huge sell off. So they had to issue some more make it tokens and that is the way the system was designed to function. That was the emergency backstop those auctions have all finished now. There were plenty of buyers in the make a token and that one has bounced back really well in terms of price after a lot of people were fearful that was the end for the project. With all these issues happening in the world of day at the moment insurance has never been more important. So Delphi digital did a great research piece on all the best insurance projects in the world of five. And um I’ve spoken out nexus meet you had them on the channel open. I’m going to have those guys on as well. Ether risky is another one you can’t see behind me there are some very cool little projects there. So I read that report from Delphi digital. HTC are getting right behind Kibo and a lot of these smartphone companies are really integrating with crypto wallets and what not so great to safety for public awareness. The theory and baseline protocol is now open source on github. So this is the the protocol for building private systems for corporates and businesses to use the fear in public chain while still keeping the data that they need to private. Using this protocol layer on top of the theory in public chain open browser have enabled Apple Pay debit card crypto purchases in the U.S. So as if they didn’t have enough on ramps already it’s more these developing countries which is really the rapid expansion of getting the millions or billions of people into the crypto world that I’m excited about. But Coinbase Coinbase has said that traffic broke records and so huge volumes during the recent market collapse. So these are very similar to the stories that I’ve been hearing. Like I spoke about at the start of this video the website traffic was it was through the roof. We’ve had thousands of people and hundreds by Go Silver and bitcoin for the first time because with everything happening as ro says here Heyman I’ve been talking every day at the moment because it’s kind of you know you need to branch out with so much happening around the world. But in some ways it’s exciting for the bitcoins and the people that have been expecting this and bunkering down living within their means and saving getting into your goals you Silver’s getting out of shares and if you’ve been prepared hopefully there’s a lot of good that can come from from the bad at the moment when people lose their jobs. Hopefully the new system when the dust settle it’s going to create a better job and a better quality of life for a lot of these people. That’s what I hope can come out of all of this. I certainly think that decentralized system is going to play a huge role in all that. So just quickly looking at the charts here. Bitcoin has had a pretty decent bounce this week. We’ve got to be careful that this is just a bear flag when we see a huge sharp sell off like this. But you know my thoughts that that liquidation on Pete makes actually push prices a lot lower than they maybe otherwise would have gone if we didn’t have that cascade where they had to shut the systems down and other exchanges were getting dragged lower. So there’s plenty of healthy buying like gold and silver have not been immune from this either. It’s ridiculous to see the price of silver under 12 dollars when you can’t get physical silver at basically all bullion dealers around the world. So that is going to break in the coming weeks when people actually buy those futures contracts and they demand delivery at the 12 dollar price. So the paper market is going to break and it’s going to come back to the real world price and demand for silver. The same with gold. You’ve got your digital options. I’ve done videos on that guys hang in there. I just can’t explain how bullish I am with the governments and central banks around the world printing trillions of dollars. What this means for these finite currencies that can’t be printed longer term so hang in there. We’re all in this together. Head over to our website to check out our resources. Join up to our community if you want to join the discussion and stay up to date with everything that’s happening. Thank you for supporting the channel more than ever guys place mass that like button subscribe. You haven’t already shown these videos around and I’ll talk to you again soon. Cheers.
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somekindofroger · 6 years ago
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One Year of Love (Chapter 10)
BoRhap! Roger x Reader
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previous chapters: ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE
Summary: You started as a friend of Deaky after meeting him at the backstage of one of Queen’s concerts. Now you end up as a friend of the whole band and... Roger’s? You and Roger had slept together and after problems happening in your life and you going to one of Freddie’s parties, Roger took care of you while drunk.
A/N: yeah, yeah, very short chapter, I know. I had a bit of lack of inspiration, but we got a little smut in this one so I hope you guys like it. THANKS FOR THE FEEDBACK, KEEP GOING, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love you all who share and show interest, ugh blessed be you. Grammar erros and typos (I’m really sorry).
> If you want to be add on the taglist (to know when the next chapter is out), let me know, send me an ask or a note. :D
Words: 1.8k 
When you woke up in the next morning you didn’t remember where you were. You looked around the bedroom, you were under a blanket, you stood up and you noticed that you weren’t wearing your dress anymore, it was a male white shirt, quite bigger than you, at least you still had your panties on. You tried to remember the last night, after Brian leaving you at the party most of it was a blur. You remembered Roger. Have you two shagged again? You remembered it was his place, but you didn’t really remember how you got there or why you were there. You tried to walk and it was when you felt the headache. You left the bedroom and heard the sound of drums. It was definitely Roger’s apartment.
“Roger?” you yelled, your voice still a little sleepy, you had your hand on your hair, which probably was a mess.
“Over here” you heard him yell back and you followed the sound of his voice, also the sound of the drums.
“Morning, sleep head” he said smirking when he saw you enter a small room, it had a drum set and guitars, it was probably his place to chill. When he saw you his heart skipped a beat, you were a mess, but a cute mess. Your hair was messy and all you were wearing was his shirt and your blue panties, you were barefoot. He was smoking and when he saw you he put the cigar on the ashtray near him.
“Hm… did we…?” you started
“Love, if we had you would remember, even being as drunk as you were.”
“You’re so cocky.” He winked at you.
“I had to carry your drunken arse out of the party” he explained.
“You could have taken me home, you know where I live.”
“I know, but then I wouldn’t take care of you.” You weren’t expecting these words of his, you blushed.
“Thank you.” He smirked. You decided to sit on a bench near his drum set, staring at him. “Where did I get this shirt?” you asked.
“I thought you wouldn’t be comfortable sleeping with that dress”
“And you changed my clothes?” you raised an eyebrow.
“Nothing that I haven’t seen before, love.” You couldn’t even complain, he wasn’t wrong.
“Did I say something embarrassing?” and he laughed on your question. “Oh boy, did I?” you sounded a bit desperate.
“Maybe, but nothing to worry about.”
“What did I say?” he stood up, he left from behind the drums and approached you, he leaned his body until his face was close to yours.
“That I could take advantage of you anytime.” He said in almost a whisper and you blushed. “Don’t worry though” he stood straight leaving the approaching between you two. “I wouldn’t, unless if you want to. Sober of course” and he winked again.
“Maybe I should leave” and you got up from the bench.
“Why?” he asked again getting closer to you.
“I-” you started but you didn’t have a reason. Roger was so close to you, you couldn’t think straight. He kissed you and you kissed him back. Oh you missed his kiss, you felt everything during that kiss, it was like a drug that you couldn’t get enough. Roger felt the same thing.
His hands grabbed your butt that was easy to reach since you didn’t have pants on, your arms were around his neck. His hands went from your butt to your waist and one of them slipped down, to your inner panties. You let a small groan out, he started playing with you while you were kissing and you helped him to take his shirt out. You felt one of his fingers sliding inside of you, starting to get in and out, when you felt you couldn’t stand up anymore you pulled him away, following him and made him sit on the bench where you were sitting just a few minutes ago. You sat on him, feeling his hardness in between your legs. You started to movement your hips, rubbing on him, so you could feel it still under his pants and he could feel you, while kissing. He made you get up for a moment so he could take off his pants and underwear, and you took your own panties out. You sat on him, feeling him inside of you entirely, and riding while you could hear his breathing near your ear.
“Roger” you groaned next to his ear and started riding him faster, no longer after you felt that feeling through your body, you stopped, eyes closed, your finger graving his back, the breathing out of rhythm, he hugged you, he was still inside you. You were too busy feeling your own pleasure to notice that he was done as well, his head was on your shoulder, his breathing also out of rhythm. You two stayed like that, hugging each other for a moment, just feeling the pleasure that one give to the other. You got out of him and searched for your panties, he dressed his pants again. He stood up and looked at you, you were wearing his shirt the whole time, when you looked at him, noticing where you were and how you were you couldn’t avoid of thinking how many girls did the same thing as you did with him in that place.
“Come here” he softly said, you walked to near him, he placed a bit of your hair behind your ear, fixing the mess. You hugged him, you buried your face on his naked chest.
“(Y/N)” he called you, you still hugging.
“Hm?” that was all you could answer
“I really like you” he said. You felt your stomach with butterflies. You pushed him a bit, but you were still on his arms, just enough to stare his blue eyes. “I know you are afraid I’m going to hurt you. Yeah, you said it last night, but I mean- I don’t want to hurt you. I like you.”
“Roger, I-“
“No, you don’t need to say anything. Just know that I care for you, I don’t want you to get hurt and I won’t allow it to happen. But…” he made a pause, took a deep breath. “What about you?”
“What you mean?”
“Do you feel the same about me?”
“Do you think I could hurt you?”
“I don’t know, you just seem so determined, that you know what you want and sometimes I feel like it wouldn’t be me.” You got out of his arms.
“Why wouldn’t it be you? You are insanely handsome, you are smart, funny, famous and a musician. Why wouldn’t any girl want you?”
“Because you don’t care about all of that. Actually I feel like that pushes you away, you just think that all of that that you said I am it’s not worth a thing.” He wasn’t wrong, maybe he knew you better than you thought he did.
“I’m just scared.”
“What if we make a deal” he said while holding your hand. “We are going to be friends. Yes, friends. We tell each other everything, we trust each other.”
“I don’t get it.”
“We like each other, but we aren’t sure enough about our feelings so make this a relationship. So why don’t we turn it into a friendship?”
“But…” you didn’t have the courage to say, but you wanted to know about the sex.
“Friends can shag, (Y/N)” he said like he was reading your mind. You laughed. “Let’s stop this awful thing between us, like some tension going on. Let’s be friends.”
“Ok. Sounds like a good thing.” He came closer to you again.
“Deal?” he gave you a kiss.
“Deal.” You kissed him again.
 You and Roger had a quiet morning, you ate breakfast together and completely forgot about lunch time, you spend the whole time talking and knowing each other better. You arrived home it was already evening, it was incredible how the day passed on so fast and you didn’t even feel it. Because of Roger.
When you got home you decided that you were going to read, to distract yourself, but you ended up falling sleep. You woke up early the next morning and decided that you were going to work hard on your next work, Mr. Morgan would have no excuse to grade you badly, and if he did, you could complain, because it was going to be a bloody good paper work. On Monday you delivered the work at his office, luckily he wasn’t there. It was Wednesday once more when you had classes of him. You couldn’t really pay attention, all you could think about was how dirty that man was and what was the grade that he would give to you.
The class was done and he called you after it. It was just you and him at his classroom now.
“Good work, Ms. (Y/N)” and he delivered your paperwork, but on the contrary of his words, your grade was just as bad.
“How come is it a good work if you gave me this stupid grade?” you complained. “I can’t accept this, I will lose my scholarship.”
“I could be willing to help you” he said approaching you.
“You stay the fuck away from me, you wanker.” You turned around and left. This situation was awful and you just wanted to leave as soon as possible. You ran out of the campus and you were going back home, but you didn’t want to go home. You wanted to talk to someone; you wanted to cry and complain about this situation and find a solution. Someone that could help you. The first person that crossed your mind was Roger, you could count on John as well, but you wanted to see Roger. The two of you were now close friends, you had a deal, and he promised to help you. So you found your way to his place. You were furious and sad, you wanted to cry badly.
You arrived to Roger’s place and knocked on the door, insistently, it took him a while to answer. He opened the door, he was shirtless and with a very messy hair.
“(Y/N)? What are you doing here?” you just barged inside the apartment.
“I just needed to see you. I think I just lost my scholarship and-” you stopped yourself. Roger wasn’t alone. Some brunette showed up behind him and she was wearing the same white t-shirt you wore the other day. You looked at her and then looked back at Roger and you couldn’t believe it. You really did believe him and now everything seemed like a lie.
chapter eleven
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