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#i’m actually in such a good mood today
twistedappletree · 1 day
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tipped my uber courier hella extra bc she helped call an ambulance for a homeless woman while waiting for my order 🥺 and idk i was chatting with her about it in the app and it just made me love people sm 🤍
#especially in this town bc all the rich transplants here are SO MEAN to the unhoused 😭#i can’t even imagine if the order was for someone else instead of me#they probably would’ve chewed this poor girl out#it didn’t even take long either but i told her to take as much time as she needs there’s no rush#what a sweetheart#i also got curious and looked her up on FB because she had the most unique name ever#and she’s actually mutuals with a ton of my circus friends#so NO WONDER she’s such a kind person 🥹🥹🥹#apple babble 🍎#non fandom#i’m actually in such a good mood today#ALSO#i found a townhouse super close to where i already live#and i’m going through a diff property manager who said i’m qualified so! i’m pretty sure i have a good chance of getting it#it’s SUCH a cute space tho omg#and my possible future neighbors are 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈#it’s also 3 neighbors all in a little gated community#and the walls of the backyard are SO HIGH YOU GUYS I DONT THINK MY DOGS CAN JUMP IT#it’s also the same price i’m paying for my current house!!!#the neighborhood is a little dodgy but i’ve lived in worse areas LMFAO#i actually like it a bit better than the other house i was trying to get#bc of the gated community and extra security#no one’s gonna steal my car that’s for sure ahahaHAHAHA#ALSO GUYS IT HAS A BALCONY!!!!!!!!!#AND THE KITCHEN IS SO HUGE AND PRETTY JFC#idk why it’s so huge actually it’s kinda wild LOL#i feel so good today tbh
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everyday i get my heart ripped out of my chest and am forced to continue
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calico-kiwi · 26 days
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i have been learning taekwondo for ALMOST A YEAR ALREADY so how come it wasn’t until LITERALLY TODAY it dawned on me I can now use my newly acquired fighting knowledge to WRITE COOL AND BETTER FIGHT SCENES FOR MARIBAT OH MY GOOOODDDD IVE LITERALLY BEEN TOO AFRAID TO REALLY WRITE FIGHT SCENES BUT THIS IS LIKE SO PERFECT
anyways catch me daydreaming abt writing maribat stuff again, hopefully we can turn the daydreaming into daydoing (or maybe nightdoing)
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erggggggggg · 2 years
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felt cute, will not be deleting later
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themosthatedbeingg · 3 months
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// thinking of Lucifer having like some top tier ultra dark and scary game system that he doesn’t know how to operate ( staff has to turn it on for him) and he plays stardew valley , minesweeper / solitaire , bass fishing and farming simulator on it . As well as animal crossing and Okami and cooking mama.
When he meets Alastor he starts playing a bunch of Cabella’s deer Hunter .
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My heart is soooo full of love guys
#I think sunlight is a drug#I feel like a new person#maybe it’s just a mindset shift idk#but I’m doing art again too!!!! it’s been SO long since I’ve done art on my own#and like actually attempted a project#and then improv was so fucking fun today#stilll thinking about Brophy’s character. he was just a lil caterpillar. he deserved better#and then Liz played an alcoholic mom who was AWFUL to her kid#and we were just silly and goofy and had a great lil time with this teacher#I love all my friends so much#they’re incredibly funny. honored that they let me play with them#I just have such a good life and I gotta remember that!!! for the winter#maybe. maybe I’m just Fixed and it’s not just that the sun is out#I have also been on a really really weird sleep schedule so maybe that’s part of it#but I feel like I’ve been waxing poetic about the clouds for like a week before my sleep schedule got changed#anyways#go outside and look at how pretty the sky is!!! and the trees and the birds!!! so many little birds#and also the people. all my friends are beautiful and lovely and I’m so glad they’re in my life#I even talked to coworkers I hate today#and I was polite and made conversation#(not with Karl. let’s not get too crazy here. he can go die)#but even fucking ******#I was nice to her even tho I dislike her#cause she’s just a person!! we’re all just people guys#except Karl. Karl can go fuck himself.#damn even my good mood can’t make me excuse him as a human being that’s wild#ANYWAYS all this rambling to say life is soooo good#things are gonna be ok. and even when they’re not we’ll get through ittt
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gillianthecat · 1 year
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The non-gendered urge to sit out in the sun to do my homework vs. the modern reality that I can’t see my screen in the sunshine.
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lesbiansanemi · 5 months
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I have started to accept I am a bit more (re a lot more) psychologically unstable than I thought for a long time and man…. I’m tired of it
#I was in a relatively good mood today#work hasn’t been too bad and I get two days off starting tomorrow#(it’s rare for me to get consecutive days so I’m excited!)#plus my time off request for a weekend in may got approved and I’m super excited for the plans that are happening on that weekend#and then my roommate messaged me bitching about my cat and now I’m spiraling#hate everything hate myself anxiety levels skyrocketed feeling the intense need to upend/annihilate my entire life and start from scratch#questioning anyone who has ever said they care about me etc etc etc and it’s like wow! because of one vague text message!#this is not a normal response haha! and now that I’m aware of that#I’ve become a lot more intensely aware that these insane mood drops actually happen quite frequently for me#issue is to do anything about this I need to see a psychologist (which I’m trying to work on anyways)#but the only diagnosis I have is for adhd and idk how to go into psychiatric care like#PLEASE PUT ME ON MEDS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PUT ME ON DRUGS AND I DONT MEAN LIKE 10 MILIGRAMS OF PROZAC TYPE SHIT#GIVE ME MOOD STABILIZERS OR AN ANTIPSYCHOTIC OR SOMETHING I AM BEGGINGGGGG I CANT FUNCTION LIKE THIS ANYMORE#I’m also mildly concerned (being afab) that if I go in pursing certain diagnoses I’ll get slapped with a bpd diagnosis#(and obviously I don’t mean that in the sense of bpd bad or I could NEVER have bpd or anything like that)#(I just mean I really don’t think I have bpd and I don’t want to be approached from the angle of needing treatment for that cuz I don’t#think it will help. if I have ANY cluster b disorder it’s def aspd lol. lmao.)#but. yeahhhhhhhhh. I’m tired of this and I’m tired of having no treatment and being in medicated#I’m tired of pretending I can function like this forever cuz obviously I can’t lol#and eventually (probably soon) it’s gonna burn me out and I’m gonna crash so hard and uh. bad things are gonna happen 😭#kaz rambles
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milo-is-rambling · 1 year
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Today is good I think. My brain isn’t fully happy my body isn’t fully happy but I’m treating myself kindly anyways
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bo0zey · 2 years
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anyone else ever get in those silly goofy moods where u just hate urself sooo much that u instantly feel physically almost violently ill just thinking abt urself and also even tho u worked a 12hr shift w no breaks or water running off of the 2 cups of coffee u had for breakfast 20 hours ago, the thought of eating instantly sends bouts of nausea coursing thru ur soul while churning in ur stomach bc ur brain hates u so much that its convinced ur body that u don’t deserve sustenance or anything else that’s life sustaining or promotes ur physical well being because u subconsciously convinced urself that ur such a shit excuse for a human being that u neither deserve nor have any right to anything regarding maslow’s hierarchy of needs bc u r such an awful thing u deserve to be neglected n treated like the nonliving object ur own brain sees ur living body as or am i just mentally ill lol
#laying in bed everytime i think abt myself i feel literally nauseated n like it’s so weird#this feeling comes in waves intermittently just even .01 sec of ‘hm i’m hungry’ FFFFFNOPE HRRGRHFFF VOMITTY#i want to curl up in a ball and die forever i don’t care about me i don’t want to take care of me anymore i’m not even good at it#whyyyyyyyy did i stop taking my meddsssssss i guarantee y’all this is why i’m being such a crybaby on the dash lmaoooo#i have a headache i’m def dehydrated from crying n sniveling n barely drinking any water today while sweating like a mf at work#imma go to bed 🛌 if i don’t wake up i will be soooo pleasantly surprised y’all have no idea FINGERS CROSSED🤞#real talk tho can someone tell me why my body is literally reacting this way for like no real reason#like am i truly that disgusted with myself i make myself nauseous just thinking abt me#ok yeah the answer is yes lol BUT LIKE WHY THATS SUCH A DRAMATIC BODILY RESPONSE TO MY BRAINS DUMBASS THOUGHTS???#ik the body and mind have a super powerful link n the brain influences the body like crazy but like#why this why does my brain literally want me to berate and degrade myself and isolate me and make me cry alone n starve me that’s so mean#i’m not starving btw i’m literally always eating just these past 2 days i’ve been such a fuckup my body won’t let me do anything#i had a chocolate poptart for dinner last night (thurs) n threw myself to bed#i hope i don’t end up hurting myself that would be so lame#i literally don’t have time for that like i am Not doing wound care duty off the clock for my damn self lol#also don’t want to take care of myself so i wouldn’t bandage myself up properly sooo yeah i’m not gonna do anything actually#cleaning ur wounds r super important ok yall ur literally playing god if u don’t do good aftercare snfjfbdj#i can’t believe i’m in this nasty ugly depressive episode i hate this so much i don’t have time for this i hate this cycle#i hate being bipolar 2 n my moods n meds have been so fkcdd up lately that i don’t even have the rlly fun hypomanic episodes anymore#i’ve just been constantly having mixed episodes im unbearable to be around im so sorry for everyone that’s ever spoken to me im insufferable#ok that’s enough im done being dramatic lmao#im gonna give myself a bolus PRN dose of clonnie then i’m going tf to bed#ramblings#shut up cianna
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selfcarecap · 3 months
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My cousin made me watch Grimbsy today and I genuinely have lost all faith in humanity
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ickypuppi3 · 1 year
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i really will spend five minutes in the sun and be convinced that i’m no longer mentally ill
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yay-depression · 1 year
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me for the past hour: 🎵do not relapse relapsing is a bad thing. do not relapse relapsing is a bad thing. do not relapse relapsing is a bad thing. do not relapse…🎵
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hershelwidget · 1 year
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decided for no apparent reason that i needed to draw the five natural quads. so uhm
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names shown are based on the council members that appear in TBoCI :)
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here2bbtstrash · 1 year
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wahhhhhh i cannot wait to get off work and WRITE 👏 THIS 👏 CHAPTER 👏
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starite-wishes · 1 year
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ALSO ALSO GUYS TODAY I WENT ON A WALK WITH MY BROTHER AND WE WENT TO THE EDGE OF A POND AND THERE WAS A FROG!!!! RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF US! UP CLOSE!!! WE’VE NEVER SEEN A FROG IN THE WILD IRL BEFORE IT HAD SUCH SILLY LITTLE EYES AND IT WAS SO JOYFUL IT WAS RIGHT THEREN!!!!!!!!!
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