everyday i get my heart ripped out of my chest and am forced to continue
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i have been learning taekwondo for ALMOST A YEAR ALREADY so how come it wasn’t until LITERALLY TODAY it dawned on me I can now use my newly acquired fighting knowledge to WRITE COOL AND BETTER FIGHT SCENES FOR MARIBAT OH MY GOOOODDDD IVE LITERALLY BEEN TOO AFRAID TO REALLY WRITE FIGHT SCENES BUT THIS IS LIKE SO PERFECT
anyways catch me daydreaming abt writing maribat stuff again, hopefully we can turn the daydreaming into daydoing (or maybe nightdoing)
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// thinking of Lucifer having like some top tier ultra dark and scary game system that he doesn’t know how to operate ( staff has to turn it on for him) and he plays stardew valley , minesweeper / solitaire , bass fishing and farming simulator on it . As well as animal crossing and Okami and cooking mama.
When he meets Alastor he starts playing a bunch of Cabella’s deer Hunter .
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anyone else ever get in those silly goofy moods where u just hate urself sooo much that u instantly feel physically almost violently ill just thinking abt urself and also even tho u worked a 12hr shift w no breaks or water running off of the 2 cups of coffee u had for breakfast 20 hours ago, the thought of eating instantly sends bouts of nausea coursing thru ur soul while churning in ur stomach bc ur brain hates u so much that its convinced ur body that u don’t deserve sustenance or anything else that’s life sustaining or promotes ur physical well being because u subconsciously convinced urself that ur such a shit excuse for a human being that u neither deserve nor have any right to anything regarding maslow’s hierarchy of needs bc u r such an awful thing u deserve to be neglected n treated like the nonliving object ur own brain sees ur living body as or am i just mentally ill lol
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i really will spend five minutes in the sun and be convinced that i’m no longer mentally ill
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wahhhhhh i cannot wait to get off work and WRITE 👏 THIS 👏 CHAPTER 👏
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ALSO ALSO GUYS TODAY I WENT ON A WALK WITH MY BROTHER AND WE WENT TO THE EDGE OF A POND AND THERE WAS A FROG!!!! RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF US! UP CLOSE!!! WE’VE NEVER SEEN A FROG IN THE WILD IRL BEFORE IT HAD SUCH SILLY LITTLE EYES AND IT WAS SO JOYFUL IT WAS RIGHT THEREN!!!!!!!!!
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