#i’m actually going to cry i can’t do this

[katiascraft]

﹙LH44﹚ ── ❝ but then you happened ❞

── .✦ winter break, 2025

f1gossipgirl just made a post

liked by user23 , user67 , user1 and 24,678 other users

f1gossipgirl: 📸 SPOTTED! Formula one driver Lewis Hamilton was seen out and about in New York City next to some friends and a mysterious girl. Sources told us they were kissing and showing a lot of pda! Unfortunately, the source couldn’t take any more pictures. What do we think about this? Seems lewis it’s ready for date life again!

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── .✦

summary - how you went from friend of a friend to lovers with the love of your life <3

warnings - age gap +10years. Reader’s on her twenties and lewis almost forty. Just use your imagination along the ride! also a bit suggesting but nothing explicit at all. I used many different girls from Pinterest.

blog masterlist

¡ tap to continue reading ू♡ ࿔ ۪

── .✦ silverstone, 2024

yourusername made a post

liked by yourbff, yourbrother, georgerussell and 1,432 other users

yourusername: so I’ve just learnt that my brother’s bestie regina. I mean, George. Drive cars in circles so I went to one of his races and this guy won the race and he was supercool. A lot of cars chasing each other with pretty handsome drivers and they have radios and I said don’t fuck it up loser to George! Insane! And I drank champagne and met a daddy called toto and his wife and I made a friend called Carmen. And now I know how cars go vroom vroom and yeah, better luck next time George! You can win! (I’m afraid you won’t anyway). So I learnt a lot this week. It was super productive I recommend! Also, anyone knows the @ of the guy that won??? It was George’s team mate (wich I didn’t know there were teams). But can’t remember his name so any help is welcomed! If you see this super kind and sweet guy, please talk to me I don’t bite ;)

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georgerussell: I feel insulted in SO MANY ways

⤷ yourbrother: maybe because you were ????

⤷ georgerussell: and you are not gonna defend your brother from another mother????

⤷ yourusername: i'm his sister

⤷ georgerussell: well, he didn’t choose you but he did indeed choose me so I'M SUPERIOR

⤷ yourusername: and then you want me not to HATE you

⤷ yourbrother: just fuck off both of you

⤷ yourusername: it’s MY comment section

⤷ georgerussell: it’s HER comment section

⤷ yourusername: stop copying me

⤷ georgerussell: you stop copying me

⤷ alexalbon: wasn’t I supposed to be the one fighting with you and not HER

⤷ yourusername: excuse me? Who tf are YOU?

⤷ alexalbon: you said my hair was disgusting

⤷ yourusername: OH YES!!! I like you. I recommend you to use elvive because you are worth it babe!

⤷ alexalbon: I don’t know if I should cry or feel loved

⤷ georgerussell: die

⤷ yourbrother: things are getting out of hand

landonorris: nice to meet you y/n, welcome to the madness!! He is @/lewishamilton . The best driver in the world at the moment!!

⤷ oscarpiastri: actually☝🏻🤓 that is max

⤷ maxverstappen: facts are not factering

⤷ yourusername: who are all of you???

⤷ oscarpiastri: im the one you called polite cat or cutie pie didn't hear you well

⤷ maxverstappen: i’m the one you said you didn’t like :)

⤷ landonorris: i'm the love of your life

⤷ yourusername: oooh you were the norizz kid!! Just to let you know I pucked 🩷

⤷ landonorris: I don’t like you.

⤷ yourusername: I thought you loved me?

totowolf: it was nice meeting you y/n! You’re welcomed anytime!

⤷ yourusername: if I could I would have stayed forever!

⤷ georgerussell: NO THANK YOU

francolapinto: you can look at his @ at the Mercedes page babe @/mercedesamgf1

⤷ yourusername: thanks all rizz kid <3

⤷ landonorris: now I hate you

── .✦

mercedesamgf1 made a post

liked by lewishamilton, yourusername , charlesleclerc and 1,432,567 other users

mercedesamgf1: THE GOAT IS BACK ! Congratulations @/lewishamilton !

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carmenmmundt: @/yourusername

francolapinto: @/yourusername

oscarpiastri: @/yourusername

⤷ yourusername: we’re gonna be besties I just know it <3

⤷ yourbrother: I told you he is too old

⤷ yourusername: I just wanna look at him leave me alone it’s my life

⤷ georgerussell: “look” more like “touch”

⤷ yourusername: then you ask yourself why I don’t like you

⤷ georgerussell: I actually don’t

⤷ carmenmmundt: he loves you

⤷ georgerussell: CARMEN UR SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY TEAM

yourusername: @/lewishamilton congrats champion! Was great meeting you <3 hope I can bump into you again and spill more beer in your shirt!

⤷ lewishamilton: @/yourusername it was nice to meet you! You’re welcome anytime!

⤷ yourusername: to the garage or your heart?

⤷ yourbrother: WHAT

francolapinto: a mi me gustan mayores, de esos que llaman señores 🎶 @/yourusername

⤷ yourusername: ok now you’re annoying.

user234: am i the only one aware they are all fighting here and lewis is reading everything ??????

── .✦ monza, 2024

f1gossipgirl made a post

f1gossipgirl: 📸 SPOTTED ! formula one driver Lewis Hamilton has arrived to Italy this morning along with model Cindy Kimberly! We don’t know yet if they are dating or why they came together.

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user888: I don’t like her.

user753: CINDY???? REALLY???

user638: he’s just a man

user873: how shitty comments for real 🙄

francolapinto: @/yourusername

⤷ yourusername: so depressed now 😭

⤷ francolapinto: you lost the battle

⤷ yourusername: I made him laugh so much I though bro fell in love 😭

⤷ yourbff: babe stop embarrassing yourself in front of the entire world please

⤷ user972: WHO IS THIS GIRL WHY SHE KNOWS FRANCO AND WHY SHE WANNA DATE LEWIS

⤷ user2: everybody wants to date lewis

⤷ user23: i think she’s a friend of George and Carmen

⤷ user89: yeah Carmen posted her, apparently they know each other for a long time now

user3: FRANCO JUST CONFIRMED THEY ARE IN FACT DATING

── .✦

@/lewishamilton started following you.

── .✦

yourusername made a post

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, magui_corceiro and 784 other users

yourusername: this weekend I came prepared but not as I should cos monza you were insane! Amazing weekend with amazing people creating a lot of memories <3 congrats @/charlesleclerc I cried my eyes out!

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alexandramsaintlux: you’re so cute!! Glad to meet you girl!

⤷ yourusername: omg queen I already LOVE YOU

georgerussell: can’t believe I’m on the dump 🥹

⤷ yourusername: I can delete you

⤷ georgerussell: I love you too

lewishamilton: 🖤🖤🖤

⤷ yourusername: omg the cute super kind and sweet guy just noticed me!! im dead my spirit it’s talking

⤷ lewishamilton: you’re the nice one

⤷ yourusername: 🥹

⤷ georgerussell: you’re stealing my man

⤷ yourusername: was he ever yours? Heard he had a chick

⤷ georgerussell: he didn’t. He had me until you appeared.

⤷ yourusername: you invited me and no one can resist my charm

⤷ georgerussell: lol chill ur not Franco

⤷ yourusername: i’m better 😍

⤷ francolapinto: no one can beat me sorry

⤷ lewishamilton: oh she did bro

⤷ yourusername: omg 🥰

⤷ yourbrother: this is disgusting

⤷ yourusername: be GONE

charlesleclerc: ❤️❤️❤️❤️

user75: fav part of this weekend is this comment section for sure

── .✦ Las Vegas, 2024

yourusername made a post

yourusername: las vegas baby you were A M A Z I N G! Brother won 1000 extra so i'm able to eat now for the rest of the month! I'm so happy :)

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francolapinto: I HAD A CONCUSSION

⤷ yourusername: I didn’t yay!

georgerussell: AND I WON

⤷ yourusername: no one cares! Max is champion!!! 🥳🥳

georgerussell: I WON I WON I WON I WON I BEAT LEWIS

⤷ yourusername: no one can beat him. It is a shitty car.

⤷ mercedesamgf1: 🤨

⤷ yourusername: I won’t apologize

⤷ georgerussell: I WON WITH THAT CAR

lewishamilton: we should hung out sometime! You look good in that motorbike

⤷ yourusername: whenever you want sir. I must confess i’m really good at riding 😛😉

⤷ yourbrother: oh lord burn my eyes please I beg you

oscarpiastri: charles and I need some extra money to eat too

⤷ yourusername: you’re millionaires

⤷ oscarpiastri: we want to be humble.

landonorris: WHY HE GOT A PIC AND I DIDNT I BOUGHT YOU CHIKEN NUGGETS AND BURRITOS

⤷ yourusername: bc he didn’t think he had a chance with me

⤷ landonorris: EVIL

⤷ yourusername: you love me

⤷ landonorris: I hate you.

lewishamilton: red is your color

⤷ yourusername: I think I’ll go to Ferrari with you then

⤷ georgerussell: TRAITOR YOU BOTH ARE TRAITORS

⤷ yourusername: go to therapy.

charlesleclerc: exited to have both of you and lend some extra money ☺️

⤷ yourusername: I want lec ice cream

⤷ maxverstappen: leave my boy alone.

⤷ yourusername: rude

⤷ maxverstappen: you said you hated me and that red bull was evil

⤷ yourusername: because it is. Fuck Horner. Fuck the FIA.

⤷ checoperez: I wish I could say it out loud

── .✦ winter break, 2025

f1gossipgirl made a post

f1gossipgirl: 📸 SPOTTED ! formula one driver Lewis Hal montón was seen out and about in Brooklyn, New York City having dinner with a mysterious girl. Source said they were very lovely to everyone of the staff and fans that asked for pictures and a lot of pda! What do we think? It’s another one night stand for Lewis or actually love has knocked his door?

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user234: how old is she? 20?

⤷ user231: does it really matter?

user765: if he is happy then we should be happy

user09: I NEED TO SEE THE PDA

user21: so Cindy wasn’t it?

user647: I think the girl is @/yourusername they’ve been interacting with each other’s accounts for a few months now

⤷ user1234: anyone knows her age?

⤷ user934: I think she’s on her 20s

⤷ user01: oh god

⤷ user653: I wish it was me tho

user88: I don’t like age gap relationships.

⤷ yourbff: no one cares

── .✦ winter break, 14th of february 2025

lewishamilton made a post

liked by yourusername, yourbff, yourbrother and 2,435,856 other users

lewishamilton: I hope that you get everything you could ask for: the cold side of your pillow, good peppermint tea with cool wind on the drive home with no traffic for miles, for spring to come. I swear I wasn’t looking for much but that’s just when you happened. Happy Valentine’s Day friend of a friend turned into the love of my life ❤️‍🩹

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user653: HE SAID FUCK IT LETS HARD LUNCH

user88: hard lunch is hard lunching

user123: I don’t like age gap relationships but THEM ✨

yourusername: how did I get so lucky? 🥹 you’re heavenly unreal my lewlew. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love you with my whole being. Thank you for loving me and making me real happy ❤️‍🩹

⤷ georgerussell: you met him because of me thats how lucky you are. You’re welcome by the way

⤷ yourusername: why you gotta ruin every single moment?

⤷ georgerussell: I just hate when you kiss it makes me uncomfortable

⤷ yourusername: just move on already

⤷ georgerussell: CRUEL

⤷ yourusername: die

yourbrother: I get it now - love you both real much!

⤷ lewishamilton: thanks for accepting me in your family dude I love you

⤷ yourusername: my men 🥹

⤷ landonorris: i’m part of your men

⤷ yourusername: in your dreams maybe

⤷ francolapinto: I am part of her men

⤷ yourusername: yes you are my bestie 🩷

⤷ francolapinto: beaches for life!

⤷ yourusername: beaches for life ♾️

⤷ landonorris: I hate you all.

carmenmmundt: congrats beautiful people 💞

oscarpiastri: the leclercs are invited to the wedding?

alexandramsaintlux: can’t wait to see you both at the paddok showing your love

⤷ yourusername: I can’t wait to see YOU princess

⤷ charlesleclerc: ur already flirting with MY girlfriend after announcing your relationship with MY FRIEND? back up bitch

⤷ lewishamilton: we will talk before practice charles.

⤷ charlesleclerc: SHE STARTED

⤷ yourusername: 😇

── .✦ winter break, f175 event, february 18th of 2025

f1gossipgirl made a post

f1gossipgirl: 👀❣️ finally the moment everyone was waiting for! The IT couple of formula one just arrived! New Ferrari driver Lewis Hamilton and girlfriend y/n are present at the F175 Live Event in the O2 Arena tonight! They looked so in love and seemed to be having so much fun!

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user234: omg she is SO gorgeous

user23: im so happy for Lewis look at the way he looks at her

user77: get you a man that looks at you the way Lewis looks at y/n

user342: I don’t like them

user934: no one cares! Where are my papaya boys?

user33: she looks so pretty omg Lewis a lucky guy

user184: if they are happy then we should be all happy

user2954: best couple of f1 and I’m sure she’s gonna be the best wag!

user456: she is First Lady of formula one show some respect!

── .✦ melbourne, 2025

yourusername made a post

liked by lewishamilton , zackbrownceo, alexalbon and 967,662 other users

yourusername: as this year’s competition begins, I know I will be at the Ferrari garage supporting my love but my heart will still be black Mercedes 🖤 and that’s because of you Georgie. We can joke and irritate each other on purpose but the friendship we built can conquer it all. Without you I wouldn’t be the person I am today. And I wouldn’t be dating the love of my life. Thank you for being the friend that you are to me and the best of luck for this season! With love, the pain in your ass <3

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carmenmmundt: just for you to know he is crying like a baby

⤷ user234: we are all crying 😭

alexalbon: we love you George

landonorris: we love you George

francolapinto: why this feel as he was dead? He is rich and alive!

⤷ georgerussell: I hate you.

── .✦ THE END

don’t forget to like, reblog and comment! And follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together)

[lvnleah]

the boss | bug’s adventures.

The tactical analysis room was your favourite place to be before training. It was warm, full of voices you knew, and best of all, you got to run around and say hello to everyone before settling into Lotte’s lap with your daily smoothie.

You were only three, but as far as you were concerned, you were just as important as anyone else in the room. Maybe even more.

“Alright, who let the little troublemaker in?” Beth teased as you ran past her chair, your little trainers squeaking against the floor.

You stopped in your tracks and gave her the best glare you could manage. “I not trouble!”

Beth smirked, leaning back in her chair. “Oh, really?”

You pointed at her accusingly. “You is.”

The room erupted in laughter, and Renee, standing by the screen at the front, just shook her head fondly. “I don’t know she any of you even try arguing. You know She always wins.”

You grinned and took a dramatic sip from your smoothie which was just like Lotte’s, but without the weird protein stuff. Just fruit. Because you were very clear that the other stuff was, in your words, yucky.

“Careful, bug,” Renee added, watching as you took off running again. “We don’t need any injuries before training!”

“I’m fast,” you declared proudly. “Faster than all of ‘ou.”

That earned some amused scoffs from around the room.

“Oh yeah?” Alessia grinned, reaching out to tickle your side as you ran past her. “Faster than me?”

You giggled, swatting at her hand. “Yep.”

Alessia gasped, clutching her chest dramatically. “Wow, just like that? No hesitation?”

“Nope.”

Emily, sitting next to her, snickered. “She’s got no mercy, Less.”

“None at all,” Alessia agreed. “I might cry.”

“You big,” you pointed out matter-of-factly, tilting your head at her. “You can’t cry.”

“Hey bug, be nice yeah?” Lotte reminded you, “It’s okay for anyone to cry, we need to be nice to everyone, okay?”

“I always nice, Mummy!” You huffed, arms crossed over your chest, “It’ okay to cry, Lessi!” You said, patting her knee. 

“Thank you for your permission, bug,” Alessia laughed, shaking her head. 

Lotte, watching from her chair with an amused smile, patted her lap. “Alright, Bug, come here before you actually take someone out.”

You made one more dramatic sprint across the room before clambering onto Katie’s lap first, because she always let you get away with things like stealing her hat. You plopped it onto your head, adjusting it until it sat just right.

“Oi, that’s mine,” Katie pointed out. “Yer’ a little devil!”

You crossed your arms. “Mine now.”

Katie smirked. “Oh yeah? And what if I take it back?”

You narrowed your eyes, gripping the hat tighter. “I’ll tell Mummy.”

The room erupted in laughter again, and Lotte raised an eyebrow. “What am I supposed to do about it, Bug?”

You thought about it for a second before shrugging. “Dunno but you fix stuff.”

With that, you wiggled off Katie’s lap and made your way over to Leah, who lifted you easily onto her knee. “Oi, what about me little miss? No hello?”

You grinned. “Hi, Le.” Then, very seriously, you added, “Mummy’s smoothie is still yucky.”

Kyra burst out laughing. “Tell her again, I don’t think she heard you.”

You turned in your seat, looking right at Lotte. “Yucky smoothie!”

Lotte sighed dramatically. “You’re never gonna let that go, are you?”

You shook your head. “Nope.”

Emily leaned over, grinning. “What’s wrong with it, Bug?”

You wrinkled your nose. “It’ got bits and it’ green.”

Alessia laughed. “The spinach?”

You nodded furiously. “Yucky.”

Beth leaned in with a teasing grin as she tickled your stomach. “But what if that’s what makes Mummy strong, huh? Maybe you need some ‘yucky bits’ to get as fast as you say you are.”

You squealed. “No! I don’ need bits to be fast! I’m already fast!” You turned to Renee, who was still standing at the front, arms crossed and watching the chaos with a fond smile. “Tell ‘em, you the boss!”

Renee chuckled, shaking her head. “Oh, I believe you, Bug. But maybe you should prove it, yeah?”

Your eyes lit up, and before anyone could stop you, you wiggled off Leah’s lap and bolted across the room, dodging between chairs and weaving past legs like a little whirlwind. “See? Fast!”

Lotte just sighed, watching you bounce on your toes, clearly ready to take off again. “Bug, come here before you knock someone over.”

You sighed dramatically, because everything you did had to be dramatic, but made your way back over to Lotte, climbing onto her lap with a huff. She adjusted you easily, one arm wrapped around you as she took a sip of her smoothie.

You wrinkled your nose again. “Still yucky, stinky too!”

Katie reached over, tapping your nose lightly. “You know, for someone who says they’re nice, you’re very passionate about Mummy’s smoothie.”

“I am nice!” you insisted. “I just tell the truth.”

Beth laughed. “Can’t argue with that.”

Renee clapped her hands once, bringing the room’s attention back to her. “Alright, enough distractions. You lot have training, and I’ve got things to go over.”

You sighed again, clearly unimpressed by the change in focus. “Boring.”

“Hey,” Renee scolded lightly, though her smile gave her away. “You like it in here, don’t you?”

You nodded, taking another sip of your smoothie. “Yeah. ‘Cause I get cuddles. I be the boss today?”

The whole room laughed, and Lotte pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “Alright, little miss Sassypants, time to behave while Renee talks.”

You huffed but snuggled closer, resting your head against Lotte’s shoulder. “Okay… but after, I wanna race.”

Renee raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And who are you challenging?”

You grinned, eyes scanning the room before pointing directly at Alessia. “Lessi!”

The room exploded with laughter. “Oh, so first I’m not allowed to cry, and now you wanna embarrass me in a race?” Alessia laughed. 

You nodded. “Yep.”

Emily leaned in, grinning. “Better warm up, Less.”

You beamed, wiggling excitedly in Lotte’s lap. “I gonna win.”

“Oh, we’ll see about that,” Alessia teased. “I might have to drink a special yucky smoothie to make sure I’m fast enough.”

You scrunched your nose in horror. “No, Lessi, don’t do it!”

The room erupted in laughter again, and Lotte chuckled, squeezing you tighter. “Alright, that’s enough troublemaking for now.”

You giggled, leaning back against Lotte’s chest, content as the chatter settled and Renee started talking again. You were a little whirlwind and no one minded your little personality. 

[sleepychenle]

PART 1. PART 2. wc: 468. genre: angst, hurt (no comfort). tags: husband!chenle, non-idol au. [a/n]: a cliche prompt but the struggle is real!! i'll post part 2 later (don't know when). masterlist

you run your fingers through your hair frustrated.

“do you actually don’t know what to do to help without me having to ask or you’re just playing dumb?” “i’ve been stressing over work all day. i don’t even have the time to-“ he tries to defend himself but you cut him off. “oh, so you were playing dumb…” you chuckle bitterly. “i have a job too. you know that, right?”

“i already told you. i work so hard to give you everything… you should be grateful” chenle retorts and you can’t help but to open your mouth in disbelief. of course his income is bigger than yours but that doesn’t change the fact that both of you should take care of the house.

“i know you worked hard to buy this house for us, but have you ever thought how much time it takes me to clean it? have you ever wondered why ‘clean day’ is more like a whole week? i bet you never fucking noticed.” you try to maintain a strong posture but you fail to suppress the cracked voice.

chenle stays shut… as if he’s actually pondering what you’re saying for once. so you continue: “it feels like cleaning and cooking is something only i have to do, and that is not even worthy of a ‘thank you’”. you sigh as the tears finally begin to fall.

but even if he was actually listening to you, he always let his ego get in the way. instead of apologizing, he turned this into you being too demanding.

he slams his palms on the table. “look, i don’t have time for this. you want me to cook tonight? okay. you want me to wash the dishes? i’ll do it. just shut up for once”

he gets frustrated when you (always) cry in an argument. he never understood it’s something you can’t control. and you wish he knew you didn’t do it on purpose… that it wasn’t just an act you put up to win the fight.

“that’s not what i’m asking for, chenle” you say almost with a pleading voice. you are not bothering to dry your tears anymore, as you know they will keep coming.

so he kept screaming, and you kept crying. and like every time, he got fed up. so he stormed off to his (and your) room. you want to be alone now.

you want to run somewhere he can’t see how weak you look right now. as if. he won’t be out of the room any time soon. you realize just now that you don’t have a place for yourself in this home.

where could you possibly go now? the bedroom where he already is in? no. his office? no. the laundry room. that’s the only place chenle wouldn’t step in unless you begged him.

you sit curled up in the floor with your back against the washing machine, trying to wipe your tears. how ironic… my safe, if i can call it that, place is where i do chores. that’s the last thing that crossed your mind before falling asleep right there on the cold floor.

[luvyeni]

sunoo really wants to talk , but you can’t be bothered to hear him.

𝓲𝓲 ㅤ𓈒ㅤ𓈒𓈒 ( 김선우 x fem!reader ) ─── ❛ genre ⸝⸝ smut. content warning. manipulation, gaslighting , reader is not a good person, unprotected sex, language word count. 0.7k 「 req? ⦂ yes/no 」 library  !

𝕼 ㅤ𓈒ㅤ𓈒 yeni’s note .ᐟ i like when reader is being the manipulator and not the one being manipulated..🫣

you roll your eyes for the umpteenth time as you listen to him complain. did he make good arguments? you wouldn’t know , you blocked him out 4 points ago.

“see look, you aren’t even listening to me.” sunoo frustrated; ran his hands through his hair. “you never listen to me.” he said. “because you’re talking in circles and it’s annoying.” you didn’t even bother looking up from your phone. “im not talking in circles , im talking about the way you treat me and how it’s unfair.” he said , you finally looked up. “unfair?” you said.

“yes unfair.” he said. “and how is it unfair?” he said. “well for starters , you’re constantly ignore me , you’re always going out with your friends , doing god knows what , with god knows who , leaving me worried here.” he said. “and your phone , god that stupid phone , your face is always in your phone — i give you all the attention you want , but you don’t show me any affection , not even the slightest bit of affection.”

he watched the expression on your face change; had you finally realized how bad you’ve treated him? would this change everything? “i see.” you said , standing up. “have a cheated on?” you asked.

“h-huh?” he asked. “well not physically , but you’re always texting guys — they’re friends.” you interrupted him. “you’re bitching and complaining about me being on my phone or going out with friends , accusing me of cheating.” he tried to defend himself. “i-i never said — but you implied it.” you said. “the affection you show me is suffocating , you’re so clingy , do i not hug and kiss you?” he gulped. “when i go out with my friends you’re always calling and whining when i will be home.”

“i just want you to be safe.” he said and you scoffed. “and i want a boyfriend who doesn’t nag me like he’s my fucking mother.” your voice tone changing. “i didn’t mean to upset you.” he said , maybe this was his fault , he shouldn't have brought it up , now you’re mad at him , and he feels nad . “i just want to work on us , i love you and i want you to be happy to be with me.”

you smirked , you walked over to the bed where he was sitting, bringing your hand to his cheek caressing it. “you want me to be happy?” he looked up at your , his eyes wet , he was close to tears. “y-yeah.” he said , his voice weary. “then stop complaining.” you said. “be my boyfriend and not my father.” you climbed into his lap. “stop bitching about the things i don’t do , and be happy about the things i do actually do.”

it always ended like this; and it was partially his fault — he let you do this because he was addicted to you by and you knew he could complain if he was fucked dumb underneath you. “y-yn.” he moaned as you moved your hips back and forth , he had already cum 3 times before and you were still going. “i ca-cant , i’ve cum already.” he whined , those tears that were once full of sadness , now streaming down his face because you were fucking him so well. “to-too much.”

“you cant even not complain when you’re being fuck.” you hissed , he whined as your cunt clenched around him , he was fuck well past his limits , normally you two only went one round so he wasn’t used to it. “ba-baby , what if i eat you out , hm.” he whimpered. “ma-make you cum with my mouth?” he gasped as he felt himself about to cum again. “pl-please i don’t think i can cum again.” he said , his cock twitching. “cum for me.”

he let out a cry as he came , shooting ropes of his cum into your cunt. “fu-fuck , fuck i’m cumming.” you gasped , legs twitching as you finished. he let out a huff , maybe this would calm you down , the argument was far from his mind and that’s exactly what you wanted , for him to shut up — and it works every single time. “i’m not done.” you said , he couldn’t handle cumming anymore. “don’t bitch , i’ll give your cock a rest.” you tapped his tear stained cheeks. “let’s see how many i can get out with this pretty mouth of yours.”

“put it to a better use than fucking nagging me.”

©️LUVYENI

[getyourselftidy]

Jackie Taylor x Spirit!R

Jackie x Spirt!R who likes to bother her when she’s alone and sulking

Spirit!R that always doing funny stuff behind people’s (Natalie) back but Jackie can’t laugh because nobody else can see them

Spirit!R who is there when she discovers Shauna’s secret and Jackie swears she could actually feel your arms wrap around her crying form

Spirit!R who grows even closer with Jackie afterwards and keeps her company instead of Travis during Doomscoming

Spirt!R who warns her that the wilderness is planning something tonight but Jackie eases their worries and tells them

“I’m safe here with you”

nsfw under the cut

To anybody else, Jackie was sitting alone in the attic of this creepy old cabin talking to herself like she had gone mad

But she wasn’t alone, she was with you

She hasn’t even realized how close you two had become and how much she trust you to be there when she everyone else is going crazy, when you best friend turned out to be the biggest liar

“I’ve been thinking..”

“You’ve been doing a lot of that lately”

“Shut up you dork… I’ve been thinking of you”

“What about me specifically?”

“Have you ever… possessed anybody?”

“I’ve inhabited animals before if that counts”

So it was possible

What she had been hoping for could really happen tonight

“I want you to possess me.”

You didn’t even have to give her answer

With how close you’ve become she could predict what you’d tell her

You’d never tell her no

—

Possessing a human was nothing like taking control of the animals outside

She was conscious of every move you made inside her body, inside her brain

You could hear her talking to you like you pushed her to the back seat and now you were in front of the wheel

Its been so long since you felt so real

This body felt so good you had to run your hands over the skin an grab every bit of it that you could reach

“How do I feel?”

“Warm and so soft.”

Groping turned into something more hot and heavy

Her body was so wet just running a finger through the slit had her whimpers echoing throughout your shared consciousness

You had to have her

Take all of her

Control every cell in her fucking body and leave her ruined for anybody else

a/n: okay this sucks but I’m rlly into the idea of possession like what if we attach ourselves to Jackie permanently and she takes us back to civilization with her

[gay-dorito-dust]

Joaquin would be the type to know the tell tell signs that you weren’t okay, or that you were in a situation that you would rather be left out of, and he would act accordingly to let you know that everything was going to be okay. He knows how often you get within your own head quite often and overthink a lot of things, so when his hands hold your face or he’s kissing your aching temples in hopes of soothing the inner storm within your head.

‘It’s okay, we’ll get through it together my heart, there’s no need to worry yourself sick when you’re in my arms for your worries are my worries.’ He would whispered against you, his hand holding the back of your head and keeping you pressed against his chest, listening to his heart while the other hand rubbed your back soothingly.

‘I’m sorry I get like this.’ You apologised, not having any amount of entertainment in your body to move away from him, not when he felt so nice to leave, a source of comfort for you in every aspect of the word. Joaquin was your sense of calm, of peace, of tranquility and everything in between while also being the dorky voice that tempts you into risking a cold; all because the man wanted to kiss you in the rain.

‘Don’t ever apologise my heart,’ Joaquin would reassure you with a plethora of kisses against your face, ‘you’re only human and humans have setbacks and are prone to knocking themselves down after a minor mistake, but just know that I’m here for you to catch you when you do slip and fall.’ He adds barely above a whisper as he tightens his hold on you, smiling to himself when you reciprocate the hug as it meant to him that you were trusting him to do as he promised; and Joaquin never disappointed you.

‘You’re too good to me Joaquin, far too good to me. An angel in human form or something because sometimes it doesn’t fell like your real.’ You replied, nuzzling your face against his chest, finally feeling able to breathe after so long.

Joaquin smiles softly. ‘I’m real, I’m very much real my love, you can feel my heart can’t you?’ He asks.

‘Yeah.’ You said.

‘You can feel my breathing, my warmth?’ Joaquin continues.

‘Yeah.’ You repeated, resting your hand on his chest to feel it rise and fall while your ear listened in on his strong heartbeat, finding comfort in knowing this man wasn’t your imagination but actually flesh and bone like you were.

‘Then as long as you can feel me, my warmth, my heart and my breathing, then I’m as real as you want me to.’ He tells you against your head, allowing you the time to let that reality sink in for you in knowing that he wouldn’t leave you, not when you were in a state of needing someone now more then ever.

‘Then I want you to be real forever.’ You tell him, not caring if it sounded childish but you needed him in your life, and you hoped to one day repay his kindness and compassion tenfold someday when he needed someone to lean on and cry out his grievances.

‘Then forever it shall be.’ Joaquin chuckled as the pair of you stood in the living room, holding onto one another in relative silence that was far from awkward or uncomfortable, but more so in a way where everything was quietened so that you could memorise Joaquin being here with you in the moment for the rest of your life.

[tiredofthehumanlife]

We are going to kidnap a child!

Barbie dolls: Remus x gn!reader (possible future Sirius x reader)

Word: 3.5 k

Summary: you've made a life with your boyfriend Remus but crazy shenanigans happen when a dog from his past shows up

Warnings: EVERYONE IS DEAD, James is dead, Lily is dead, all of Remus' friends are dead, it's not allusions it's stated, kidnapping, Sirius breaks out of jail multiple years early, stalker-y vibes, you garden now, also James' family does Christmas and they're really festive, mentions of The Betrayal, mention of the Black's A+ parenting, Dumbledore hate, you're quite chill w kidnapping a child, dudleys mentioned, non white James & Harry, his scar doesn't look like the cartoonish one in the movies more like those fanarts where it looks like an actual lightening strike, he's cool idc, yeah that's it

 You met Remus four years ago, in a coffee shop. You two were quick to fall in love. You loved life with him. It was easy and breathable. Your dates were simple and left you smiling rather than stressed. Most of them you spent inside; you were both the kind of people who didn’t need to be dressed up and stuck in a restaurant to enjoy yourselves. A simple movie night with popcorn tickled your fancies just fine.  

You moved in together and actually found a house together. It was a simple cottage on the edge of town. It was bordering a forest so it was a calming place for Remus when the moon came out. You were magical yourself, you went to a different school than Remus. Every day you wished you had gone to his but you suspected you both would’ve been different people then. It was encased by a wooden fence, with a small garden in the front. It had all his mother’s favorite flowers, a few of yours tossed in there as well. The inside was warm and every shelf was coated with your trinkets and symbols of your love. You found it easy to feel like you were living a heavenly life. 

Remus told you of his atrocious and terrifying life before you. For a while, you thought he was kidding but when tears broke his voice you understood he wasn’t. He told you of all his friends during school, the mischief and laughs they had. The fact they all had the chance to learn how to transform into animals. His young love with a boy with gray eyes and the personality of an exploding star.

He told you of how it all fell apart. His friends ended up dead, lost, or imprisoned. Some days were easy, like floating on your back in the ocean. Just like with the ocean, some days a wave came out of nowhere and filled his nose with salt water. Some days he couldn’t do anything except cry and hide in your arms. You were just fine with that, calling his work to tell them he wasn’t coming in that day. 

Life with him was simple. You woke up at the same time every day. You made breakfast at the same time every day. You drove Remus to work at the same time every day. You tended to the house and garden while he was at work in town. You picked him up from work and drove him home at the same time.  You ate dinner and went to bed at the same time. With all the routine he still made you laugh and feel loved. Easy. 

“I feel like someone has been watching me for the past week,” Remus muttered, as he picked popcorn from his teeth. You looked away from the TV, giving him a very confused look. A strange thing to drop in the middle of a terrible rom-com. You nudged his thigh with your socked foot, pulling his attention from the screen. He looked at you, rubbing his tongue around his teeth inside his mouth. 

“What?” Remus shrugged. 

“I’m not sure, I’ve just felt eyes on me. Not at work, just at home.” Remus said, his hand on the back of the couch bouncing up to show that he really had no grasp on what was going on. You shook your head, shooting him a smirk. 

“That’s my fault then, I can’t take my eyes off your beautiful body.” You snapped your teeth at him. Remus snorted and rolled his eyes. 

“They're different though. Yours are all warm and honey-ish. These are like setting me on edge.” Remus muttered. Still, his non-chalantness over this whole ordeal was bothering you. What kind of person isn’t going crazy over something like this? 

“Maybe they're just like a hallucination or manifestation. Maybe you’re just really stressed out, and this is your brain turning it into something else.” You said, reaching over onto the coffee table to take another handful of popcorn. Remus hummed. 

“Maybe.”

The next day went smoothly. You kissed Remus’ cheek as he made breakfast. You scolded him for almost forgetting his lunch in the fridge on the way into the car. You kissed him goodbye and reminded him you loved him as he left the car for work. You washed the dishes when you got home, setting them on the drying rack. You headed out into the front garden, plucking old leaves off and watering them plenty. As you started picking a few of the flowers to refill the vase on the kitchen table, you heard clawing and whines at the gate. You slowly turned to look at the fence. 

A shaggy black dog was pushing his nose at the bottom corner of the gate, clawing at the wood. You stood, dusting your hands off on your pants. The dog lifted his head, panting and watching you. You opened the gate, cautiously opening it. The dog quickly pushed past you, making you stumble backward. He shot up the front steps, lying down at the front door and staring at you. You paused, humming and kicking the gate shut. The lock clanked behind you, locking itself. You thanked your genetics for giving you the power of magic. You loved the small inconveniences it saved you from. You stepped up to the steps by the dog, squatting down to get on his level. 

“You’re not really a dog are you?” You whispered. The dog stood up like he was offended you would even suggest that. He sat on his hind legs, letting out a bark and throwing his paw into your lap. You hummed and shook his paw. 

“Thought so. Let’s get you cleaned up, you reek of death.” The dog huffed, the side flaps of his mouth puffing up for a millisecond. “Am I wrong?” The dog patted the door with his paw. You sighed and opened it wide for him. You stepped in, looking back at the dog. He stared inside an unreadable look on his face. Unreadable because he’s a dog.

You waited patiently, watching him like he would look up at you and say you have a lovely home. He slowly pulled one paw over the threshold, padding into the room like it might explode if he went too fast.  You closed the door behind him. When you finished locking it, you looked back at the dog. He was sitting at the bookshelf, nose pointed at a framed picture. 

You moved to sit on the floor next to him, staring at the picture. It was taken by James’ mother. All six faces you knew the names of. Remus would never let his friends go forgotten.

James was plopped in Fleamont’s lap. Fleamont was decked in a red suit. A fake white beard layered over his black beard. They were both caught in a laugh. They looked like carbon copies of one another. Eyes closed and crinkled at the corners, dimples and shining teeth. Their laughs looked like they filled the room with the color yellow if that made any sense.

Some days you found Remus looking at pictures of them. He told you once he wondered if James would’ve looked more like his father or his mother when if he had gotten older.

Next to James and Fleamont on the couch was a young boy with long black curly hair. Sirius’ cheeks were rosy from how hard he was laughing. He was doubled over, clutching his sides. His nose was scrunched up as he laughed.

Remus was next to him, sitting on the floor and watching Sirius. Love was in his eyes, the bright young kind. The kind that was naive and assumed they’d be wedded in a few years. Maybe they would’ve.

Peter was on the other side of the couch, sitting in front of the large tree and laughing himself. He had an unopened Christmas present next to him in yellow wrapping paper. For him, you supposed. Remus told you his favorite color was yellow. You guessed it was probably something moody and terrible now. Black for his master’s heart or red for the blood he shed. 

”That must be you, huh?” You asked the dog, watching him push his nose up onto the bookshelf. He didn’t respond but you knew the answer. 

“Let’s see, James was a stag, Peter was a rat, Remus doesn’t do that, so that makes you Sirius. Or Padfoot, in this case. I thought you were imprisoned, Sirius. I guess I don’t know you, nor do you know me, would Mr. Black work better for you?” Padfoot pulled his head from the bookshelf and stared at you before turning his head away from you. He stood and turned his body just enough that his back was now facing you. You snorted. 

“I’ll just use Padfoot, is that alright?” Sirius turned his head around, looking at you again. You nodded. 

“A bath, dear Padfoot?” You stood. Padfoot joined you at your side, staring up at you. You led him back to the bathroom, running a bath. You sat on the toilet seat, patting your thigh for him. He pranced over to you, sitting down and plopping his chin onto your thigh. You gently pet his head, watching his tail slowly swish back and forth on the bathroom tile. 

“I know you loved Remus during school. I don’t mind, truly. I know life has been unkind to you. Why did you wait until Remus went to work? You could’ve shown up when we were loading into the car?” Padfoot stared up at you blankly. You frowned. 

“This would be easier if you weren't a dog.” Padfoot pulled his chin from your thigh and turned his head away from you again. He stared at the bathtub instead. 

“You don’t have to brood about it. Remus was right when he said you were dramatic.” Padfoot’s tail doubled its pace on the floor at the mere mention of Remus’ name. You had a small smile on your face at that. It was a little silly. Padfoot turned his head back, noticing the tail movement. He stood up, before sitting back down with his tail tucked between his legs. You snorted and added soap to the bath, making bubbles form over the top. You turned the water off, sticking your hand out towards it. Padfoot stood and skittered over the edge of the bathtub, splashing into the water. You settled onto your knees by the edge of the tub, lathering soap into his fur. 

Eventually after three shampooings and a lot of detangleing with your comb, he smelled like your shampoo with a light undertone of wet dog rather than death. It was an improvement. You stood and wiped your hands off with a towel. Padfoot plopped his butt down in the water, making it splash up again. You gave him a soft smile. 

“Stay right here I’m going to call Remus.” Padfoot nodded, unsettling you to your core. You didn’t like that at all. A dog doing human things was now added to your fear list. You closed the bathroom door and headed for the phone in the living room. You pulled it from the wall dialed his work number and pressed the phone to your ear. Remus picked up within the first few rings, worry lacing his words already. 

“Hello, love. Are you okay? Everything alright?” Remus asked, pulling more breath in to ask more questions. 

“Well. Remus, my dearest love. I mean not to worry you, however, I found a rather human-like black dog in our front yard today. I think you might want to tell your boss you feel sick and find a ride home. I can’t drive you because I’m cleaning him up right now. Hurry quick, I suppose.” You said, turning back to glance at the closed bathroom door. You worried he might be causing trouble in the bathroom. Maybe eating your body wash. Or trying to open Remus’ to see if it’s still the one he used in school. Remus was silent on the other side of the line. “Remus?” 

“Yes- I heard you. I’m-uh- processing. He’s supposed to be you know where- for the rest of his life, it’s been six years since he was- well you know- how could he-“ 

“Remus, firstly, is this not the same boy- well man now- that set his parent's house on fire? Do you really think he wouldn't raise hell to get out of that prison? Secondly, why don’t you ask him yourself?” You asked, keeping an eye on the bathroom door. Remus sucked in a breath and you could almost hear him rubbing his brow in frustration. 

“The house thing was a whole situation okay, he didn’t just do that for the love of the game. On the other thing, I’m-“ 

“Scared? Worried? Anxious? Longing? Confused? Just get your ass home and stop dragging your feet.” You said before slamming the phone down. You hoped Remus made it home soon. You headed back into the bathroom. 

A man was in the bathtub, his knees peeking out from the layer of bubbles. The bottom of his face was hidden under the water, just his piercing eyes and nose above. His long black hair was longer than it was in the picture from before. That much should be expected but you hadn’t considered that. It was swirling around him in the water like ink. He could’ve been a siren in another life. You understood young Remus. 

”Wow.” You muttered. Your shoulders sank and your legs couldn’t bear your weight anymore. You slumped against the door frame, still caught in those damned eyes. He pulled his head from the water, a smirk following after. 

“Knew I still had it,” he muttered, his canines on display. You pushed yourself from the doorframe, shaking your head to get his smirk out of your mind. You pulled a towel down from the cabinet. Sirius sat up, revealing his bare chest with black ink etched into it. His hair stuck to his shoulder, dripping more water onto his chest. 

“He said you had an ego so big you could float away with it.” You muttered, unfolding the towel and holding it out. Sirius still had his smile, staring up at you. You avoided his eyes, knowing if you didn’t you might lose your balance again. 

“Does he always flatter me so much?” Sirius asked. You nodded, slamming your eyes shut and holding the towel out to Sirius. You kept them closed as you heard the water splash around. The towel was pulled from your hands. 

You gave Sirius a handful of Remus’ clothes. He left the bathroom later drowning in Remus’ sweater and sweatpants. You sat him down on the couch with a tea and busied yourself with scrubbing the counter.

The front door knocked against the back wall soon after, announcing Remus’ appearance. You left the kitchen, throwing the hand towel at the counter. Remus was frozen in the doorway, eyes glued to Sirius. Sirius looked away from him to you and set his tea down on the coffee table. He stood, slowly approaching Remus. Remus quickly jerked forward, taking him into a tight hug. You watched awkwardly, staring at them blankly. They soon pulled apart. Sirius dragged Remus to the couch and you took the armchair nearby. 

Sirius discussed his experience in prison and how he broke out. Remus explained his life after he was arrested and after the devastating end to many of their friendships. You sometimes threw in your two cents with a ‘yeah’ or a small hum. After he finished explaining how you both got your house Sirius nodded. 

“We are going to kidnap a child,” Sirius said, smiling at Remus. You paused, staring at the convicted felon on your couch. 

“Right.” You muttered, not shocked or even surprised just quiet. You would say disappointed but you’re not that either. You barely know this man it’s almost entirely impossible for him to disappoint you. Remus glanced over his shoulder at you. 

“We’re doing what now?” Remus asked, looking back to Sirius. Sirius pulled his tea to his mouth and took a sip. He set it back on the coffee table and smacked his lips. 

“Harry? James’ and Lily’s boy? We’re kidnapping him.” Sirius said. You nodded, catching on but still not understanding. You didn’t fully care to, pulling the magazine from the side table next to you. You flicked through the pages, sighing through your nose. Sirius jutted a finger out at you. “You’ve got the disappointed parent thing down,” Sirius exclaimed with excitement. You hummed, flipping another crinkly page. 

“Harry is with his aunt, Lily’s sister. He’s with family.” Remus said, repeating what his past headmaster had told him years ago. Sirius glared at Remus. You read a small excerpt on the best pizza recipe, finding it boring halfway through. 

“That’s the same shit he said about my family. I found them, and I watched them in dog form for a little. They’re awful. He sleeps under the stairs, cleans for them, cooks for them, and still it’s not enough. They’re barely feeding him we have to get him out of there. Harry doesn’t deserve to live through all I did when his father went through hell to get me out of there.” Sirius said, his voice cracking towards the end. A silence followed. Remus sat frozen in his spot and you continued flipping through your magazine. Remus leaned back, looking at you. 

”What do you think?” Remus muttered, watching you carefully. You glanced over the edge of your magazine, raising a brow at him. 

“Sounds like we’re kidnapping a seven-year-old. Your nephew of sorts.” You said, eyes glancing over to the picture of Remus, Sirius, and Peter with James on his wedding day. Remus sighed and leaned back to face Sirius. 

“My godson, but yes whatever.” Sirius corrected. You raised a brow at him before looking back to your magazine. Remus let out a long sigh, rubbing his face with his hands. 

“I guess we’re kidnapping a child,” Remus whispered. 

You had assumed you’d be included in the planning process but in the few days that you had known Sirius you should’ve realized he wasn’t much of a planner. You were now staring at the child sitting at your dining room table. You stood across from him, your eyes locked. Remus and Sirius had left to go to the store for more child-friendly foods and a few clothes and toys for him. 

Harry looked exactly like the pictures of his father. Warm brown skin, the hint of dimples on his cheeks, big wide eyes hidden behind large glasses, a swirl of black curls on top of his head. Harry had a white scar spreading across his forehead, branching lightning. You wanted to look closer and see if the small streak of stark white hair at the start of his scar was real or your imagination. 

“You look like your father.” You whispered. Harry raised his head and looked around at the surroundings. 

“Veron?” Harry asked, furrowing his eyebrows. You grimaced and shook your head. 

“James.” Harry stared at you blankly. It occurred to you that you might’ve seen more pictures of James than he had. You left the dining room and headed straight for the living room, collecting the framed photos of James from the bookshelves. You laid them out in front of Harry. You pointed at each person, naming them. You showed him pictures of his mother too: Lily dragging James into a lake, James with Lily on his shoulders, Lily hugging Remus, Lily in her wedding dress with her long trail of bridesmaids. Harry stared at all of the pictures with his mouth open in awe. 

“Did they ever show you pictures of your parents?” You asked. Harry looked up from the picture of James and Lily in each other’s arms, smiling at the camera. He shook his head. You hummed. 

“Remus will change that. He was your dad’s and your mom’s friend. So was Sirius.” You said, watching him carefully. Harry nodded. He looked away from the pictures and eyeballed the kitchen through the door. 

“Do you have any fruit?” Harry muttered, his voice quiet with worry. You nodded. You led him to the kitchen and showed him where you kept your fruit in the refrigerator. He pulled an orange from the drawer and smiled. Defiantly had James’ dimples. Harry pressed the framed picture to his chest as he dug his fingers into the orange, ripping at the peel. You whispered to him that he could get food from the kitchen any time he felt hungry. Harry paused in his tears, staring up at you. 

“Really?” Harry whispered, sparkles appearing in his eyes. You nodded, reaching into the refrigerator for another orange. You pulled a bowl from the cabinet and dropped the meat of the orange into the bowl after you skinned it. You gently took the orange from Harry’s sticky hands and dropped the slices into the bowl, handing the whole bowl to him. He stared down into the bowl with a grin. Raising such a kind boy with your boyfriend and his highly attractive high school ex shouldn’t be too hard. 

[sos717]

Bro I'm just very anxious and scared rn and overconsumed too. Atp idk what do I do. Basically here in my country an exam (jee main) result came out and I didn't scored well. There's a lot of family pressure I'm crying every day just feel horrible. What do I do now?

I have read almost every single manifestation post on tumblr and recently found nd through 4d barbie....and tried to understand what they are saying. I found this blog yesterday and spent all night scrolling and reading your posts. It's Been 6 years since I found this side of reality. Law of attraction -> law of assumption-> affirm and persist-> states and ed art-> nd.

Anyways I read your post and what I understood is... that whatever situation rn is happening, happening because I'm aware of it happening. Or I can say that It's not happening to me but I'm awareness, aware of a person "me" to which all of it is happening and that "me" is hating it and sending this ask. It all is because I'm aware of it. And my real nature or the real me is That/knowing/awareness " ". All is one. All is that/knowing/awareness. Now with this understanding I noticed or yk imagined a complete opposite situation where this person "me" cleared this exam with good grades and slept. And when I woke up nothing changed. Ikik I'm the one noticed/ being aware of the fact that nothing changed but still..I hope you're getting what I'm trying to say. Do I keep noticing what i want or give up and run away to some forest 🥲 helpp

Hello! First I wanna thank you for reaching out, I know how hard it can be when we’re going through these frustrations, it can take allot for us to even ask for help so thank you for trusting me 🫶🫶, alright let’s get into this.

I’m going to tell you my approach at this first and explain your options, etc.

People come up with fancy words like “revision” and will just tell you to revise it, okay, let me explain what revision is first , your not actually changing a past because the past is not a place, neither is it a moment that is taking place right now, in the same way that you don’t change the future, because it’s not a place, there is only the moment we exist in, and the experiences of now and here are quite literally, the perception of our own activity.

The idea of revision is only you activating something that you end up experiencing, there’s no past that you teleport to and experience, it’s all just moving forward.

What you are, is conciousness, knowing itself, to give you a better way to understand this I want you to imagine ALL THE DETAILS that you go on and on about , “my test scores are always perfect”, “my teeth never stain”, “my hairs so healthy”, “I think that guy likes me”, “I never have to worry about money”, like ALL OF IT, imagine that, but remove the senses. What’s left?

All of this is conscious activity, it’s the things that are know. The source for all that’s ever known is of course you, because nothing else ever activates these things does it? Of course not it’s always you. And knowing you exist never requires senses, it doesn’t matter what state/condition the body is in, because regardless, knowing remains the same, it’s not something done on purpose, it’s your identity.

No emotion, no situation, no feeling, person, scar, or physical aspect ever intrudes on your identity, it can’t, because conciousness/you, are present regardless, it’s the thing that experiences, but also what all experience COMES FROM.

Understanding what I wrote above, also Segway’s us into the next point, nothing can determine what conscious activity is, but you.

Imagine all details and aspects that you know about life, like the color of your teeth, how money is, how success looks like, and notice that you always arrive to know an idea. “Why do my teeth look white” this is what you, as concioicness, activate yourself as, this is it, this is what reality is, this grand idea of manifesting and altering the world is this damn simple.

Now do me a favor and conceptualize, “why do my teeth look white” through the filter of perception (seeing, hearing, tasting, touching, smelling), and what do we get?

Oh, a “world”.

What was at first, only known, and was concious activity, is then percieved by the very thing creating the idea in the first place.

That’s what the world is

You, perceiving, your own activity

The world is not a seperate entity, or space, it’s the RESULT, or the SIDE EFFECT, that occurs when reality perceives itself.

The part we get mixed up is, we think the world is something we are trying to change, but this makes no sense, it always us, at no point does it stop being us, so what is there to change but self??

Theres only this, here, now, creation doesn’t stop because it’s the natural state of reality. Creation is what’s being perceived. And here’s the part where people get confused. Reality does not begin with perception. This part just makes no sense but I get why people are so frustrated.

Ask yourself, if reality and knowing is dependent on what’s seen and heard and felt, why don’t our problems disappear when we don’t see them?

Why doesn’t let’s say, someone’s medical debt disappear when they aren’t looking at their bank account? Why are they capable of knowing that they have medical debt? Right because the source of “I have so much debt” doesn’t come from anything but source, and that’s you, it doesn’t matter if your were underwater or skydiving, it’s still you. If seeing was the giver of “I have medical debt” you should only be able to know this when you’re looking at your bank. And never at any other moment.

It’s not memory, it’s knowing, and it doesn’t stop, so you going to the same idea over and over again is only its continued creation, because that’s what you are.

For your situation, personally, Id leave what’s already happened off my mind and relieve myself of the stress, if you continued in a story that was favorable, that’s exactly what you’ll perceive, but I need you to understand that your not changing something, whatever you claim to be is exactly what reality is, and that’s exactly what will be percieved. The world is the byproduct of you perceiving what it is you know. It can only unfold and continue in that respect.

I would say, gain some confidence in this first, bring to attention random things that you don’t really care about like blue butterflies, angel numbers, a pink turtle, and just randomly whenever you remember this, just give it a little bit of attention, and watch how these things suddenly begin to “show up”.

I’m not telling you that you can’t experience exactly what it is you want, but it’s hard for us to be patient and objective about our knowledge when we have something so stressful on our mind when we first step into this side of reality.

Especially if you don’t have things you can reference back on as say “oh wait but I know I was thinking about green snakes, and that’s exactly what I saw” and it reinstates your confidence in the truth.

Take it easy on yourself, you don’t become creatjon at some point, it’s just the natural state of this entire experience, it’s what you always will be, continue forward knowing what you prefer and don’t worry about anything else, allow yourself to win by choosing what is is you like, instead of what you don’t like.

[ladyhoneydarlinglove]

{one piece ficlet, nami & zoro} nightmare

(got an AU project i’m brewing up that’s got a lot of nami and zoro interactions so i wanted to get some practice in.) Rating: G Notes: takes place between arlong park and alabasta. based off a personal headcanon i have that zoro’s blunt force honesty is actually extremely effective at warding off things like nightmares or panic attacks. ~~~~~

Nami wakes alone in the dark with a scream caught in her throat, and only the gentle rocking of the ocean waves and the soft sound of Vivi’s snores from the other side of her cabin keep it down.

Instead she bolts upright, chest heaving as she tries to catch her breath. Arlong’s laughter echoes inside her head, sharp and cruel as his awful smile. Those teeth have haunted Nami for years, and even now, after the real ones were shattered into a million pieces by Luffy, the ghost of them remains inside her dreams.

It’s no use trying to go back to sleep. Nami glances at the clock by her bedside and grimaces; only 2am. She briefly considers trying to work on some of her charts, but her mind feels foggy, a soup of lingering fear and exhaustion. Too easy to make a mistake, she decides. Besides, Vivi is still asleep, and Nami would hate to wake her.

She slips out of bed and dresses quietly before heading up to the kitchen for a cup of coffee and hopefully a snack; Sanji always makes something for whoever’s on the night watch. Tonight that’s Zoro, and he’s only on the second of three onigiri when she enters the galley. Nami snags it off his plate and shoves it into her mouth before he can stop her. 

“Hey!” he protests, scowling deeply. “That was mine!”

“Tough shit,” Nami shoots back, except it comes out more like ‘uuff ith’ with how stuffed her cheeks are with rice and salmon. Zoro flips her off.

“What are you even doing up?” he grouses. “You’re not on watch tonight.”

Nami shrugs, stepping over to the coffee maker. “Couldn’t sleep,” she says, which is true enough. She doesn’t plan on saying anymore, because Zoro doesn’t need to know, but then as she’s opening a cupboard to grab a bag of grounds he asks—

“Nightmare?”

Nami pauses, surprised. “How…?”

“You’re shaking.”

She blinks, then looks at her hands. The one holding the bag of grounds is trembling, ever so slightly; the one against the counter isn’t, but only because it’s gripping the formica white-knuckle tight. When Nami breathes, she hears a wobble in her lungs on the exhale.

“… Yeah,” she says after a moment, pulling the bag of coffee grounds to her chest like a shield. As if brown paper and bitter beans could save her from anything besides a caffeine headache.

Zoro doesn’t ask, and yet as the moments tick by while they exist in awkward silence, Nami feels more and more compelled to say something, until finally she blurts out, “Sometimes I dream that Arlong’s come to take me away again.”

She’s not looking at Zoro, but she can picture the confused tilt of his head perfectly in her mind’s eye as he says, “Huh?”

Nami swallows around the sudden lump in her throat. “Arlong,” she repeats quietly, measuring scoops of coffee into the basket. “Sometimes I dream that he… That he’s followed me, all the way from the East Blue. And he takes me away and drags me back to Arlong Park and there’s… There’s nothing I can do but scream.”

There’s a prickle underneath her eyes now, a quiver in her bottom lip. Nami bites it as she presses the brew button on the coffee machine, willing herself not to cry. It’s not like Zoro hasn’t seen it before, but she doesn’t particularly relish the idea of it happening now; comfort is like a foreign concept to the swordsman, and she’s pretty sure he would only make her feel worse.

“That’s stupid.”

Case in point.

Nami grits her teeth, hands balling into fists at her sides. She doesn’t know why she bothered—of course Zoro doesn’t get it, muscle-headed brute that he is. She opens her mouth to yell as much, to scream that not all of them have so little brain in their heads that they can’t bother to process things like worry and fear—

“If Arlong comes back, we’ll just kick his ass. Same as last time.”

Nami pauses. Processes. Blinks.

“Huh?” she says, turning to look at him. Zoro has the audacity to roll his eyes, like she’s somehow the dumb one here. 

“We beat that stupid shark to a pulp, remember? And that was with me half dead and down two swords. Now I’m all healed up, I’ve got Kitetsu and Yubashiri—“ He pats two of the swords at his side with the same tenderness one might show a beloved pet “—and all of us are already stronger than we were back then. Plus we’ve got a doctor now. Which means we can really go all out ‘cause there’s someone around to patch us up.”

He grins, wide and feral, and now it’s Nami’s turn to roll her eyes. She opens her mouth to lament poor Chopper’s plight, but before she can, Zoro’s expression turns serious. 

“Besides, even if all of that wasn’t true, you don’t really think we’d let Arlong take you away from us again, do you?”

Nami blinks again. 

The lump returns to her throat as she thinks about four men—boys, really—that she unquestionably betrayed. Boys that stood up and fought for her freedom anyway. Sanji, who barely even knew her back then, save that she was a girl who needed help. Usopp, self-proclaimed coward, taking on a fishman that veteran Marines wouldn’t have fought, all by himself. Zoro, barely back from death’s door, wounds still open and bleeding as he dared to try and fight Arlong himself. Luffy, punching through the wreckage of her former prison, his straw hat still warm where it sat on her head.

She laughs suddenly, watery and weak but bright as a sun-ripened mikan. 

Zoro’s right, she realizes. It is stupid. As if Arlong could ever hope to fight his way through the rest of the crew to get at Nami.

As if Nami herself would ever let him drag her back to her own personal hell, now that she has friends worth fighting for.

“No,” she says sheepishly. “I guess I don’t.”

“Then what are you worried about?” Zoro asks, and Nami just shakes her head with a soft sigh.

“Do you want this coffee? I think I’m gonna try and go back to sleep after all.”

Zoro grunts, which Nami takes as a yes. She pours Zoro a cup, setting it down next to his empty plate. “Thanks,” she says, and Zoro raises an eyebrow.

“For what?” he asks, and Nami realizes it’s a genuine question when he tilts his head, one eyebrow raised. It makes her want to laugh. That’s Zoro, she thinks. Profound. Stupid. Profoundly stupid.

She wouldn’t have it any other way.

[problematicpooch]

If you seriously think that the Magnus Archives fandom doesn’t have a racism problem, just look at the results of this poll.

You people will cry and complain all day every day about how racist it is have have a design where Jon is white, but when faced with ACTUAL RACISM you laugh hysterically because it’s just a joke to you.

Oh, having a design that’s different from fanon is evil and horrible and racist, but making a character black only to have her be changed to white is hilarious and perfect and the pinnacle of comedy.

And if you think I’m reaching or it’s not that big a deal, maybe ask yourself why it is that a fandom MADE UP OF MOSTLY WHITE PEOPLE thinks that whitewashing is funny. Go on. Why do YOU, as a WHITE PERSON, because I know the majority of you reading this are white, why do YOU think that whitewashing is funny. Try to make your argument not sound racist. Go on, I’ll wait.

If you say “oh, but it’s being used as horror, it’s a horror idea”, no the fuck it’s not. Look at the poll again. Look at the reblogs. Look at pretty much any post about Sasha and Not-Sasha. It’s not being used as horror, it’s being used as a JOKE. A fucking JOKE. You, a group of WHITE people, are using RACISM as a JOKE. How do you not think that’s fucked up? You, the people who crash out when you see white Jon and rush to call the creator racist? How do you not see your own hypocrisy?

I’m not trying to cancel the entire fandom. I just need you all to recognize that maybe defending using racism as a joke when most of you are white is not a good look for this fandom. I need you guys to take accountability and recognize that this is an actual problem.

(Assuming she’s black or another non-white race) Here are some ways you can make Not-Sasha different from Sasha without changing her race and still have it be funny:

Change her hair texture, length, or color (ex. curly to straight, long to short, black to brunette)

Change her fashion style (ex. goth to cottagecore)

Change her eye color (ex. brown to green)

Change her accent (ex. London to Cockney) (harder to do with canon but it would still be funny)

Change her height (ex. tall to short)

Change her tastes (ex. if Sasha likes sweet coffee have Not-Sasha like black coffee)

Change her mannerisms (ex. if Sasha always types with emojis have Not-Sasha never use emojis)

Find a way to utilize these to make it funny. If you think it can’t be funny without using whitewashing, you should probably think about why you think that.

Doing something to prove a point

Feel free to include your thoughts in reblogs or replies

[solarismoons]

SPOILERS FOR S2 EP6 OF SCHOOL SPIRITS

This one’s another long one…

I love the small interactions between the ghosts. Wally pushing Charley’s hand down made me giggle.

Wally’s immediate switch from talking about sweaty cheese to “Where the hell is Janet?” Is so funny.

I HATE Mr. Martin. GET OUT OF MR. ANDERSONS BODY. I feel SO bad for Sandra. She’s going through it. ‘Message me places she could’ve gone.’ STFU.

Okay, so I was wrong. Mr. Martin didn’t kidnap Janet. I didn’t think they’d stoop THAT low, but honestly it was the only option.

Janet did NOT seem as surprised as I thought she’d be when she found out Simon could talk to Maddie.

Xavier being stuck in a cabin with his dead ex girlfriend who’s actually possessed by a spirit and his potential new love interest who he’s been unknowingly flirting with for weeks is a crazy plot line but i’m here for it.

I honestly kind of love Maddie defending Janet. She cares so deeply despite everything.

Nicole torturing Xavier with that dumbass song is so funny. I did NOT expect her to go straight to the confrontation but i’m loving her for it.

I’m crying I NEED Xavier to blink for the love of god.

“Maddie’s a modern woman, she doesn’t need your attention 24/7” YES CHARLEY TELL HIM.

“So why don’t you just tighten your girdle, girl.” Wally is SO sassy.

Okay I did NOT expect another dance scene but i’m living for it?? Wally is SUCH a dork it’s insane. I also love how they’re including Quinn. My shayla 💔💔.

Who the FUCK was in Janet’s scar? That scene was genuinely so disturbing. “We need more time” For what??”

Wally FINALLY dressing in something other than sweats, thank god.

Ugh, of course Wally was an asshole in highschool. I feel so bad for Charley... He looked so uncomfortable 🙁.

Mr. Anderson is genuinely tweaking out and I honestly do NOT blame him.

CHARLEY AND YURI DANCING TOGETHER WAS SO CUTE!! I don’t know what’s going on with Charley but I feel awful.

So, we finally get the scene with Maddie inside the flower room… It just brought up even more questions. How are the marigolds in any way related to what’s going on with Janet and Mr. Martin?

I’m starting to think Sandra’s gonna be dragged into the mystery. She’s so desperate for answers I really think she’d believe what the living kids tell her.

Even though it sucks, I’m kind of glad they added the plot point that Wally was a bully. It really shows how much thought they put into the ghosts stories relating to the decade they were born in. Each character is so dimensional, which is what I truly love about this show.

“Made myself the joke so other people couldn’t.”

“People like me?”

I CANT DO THIS RIGHT NOW.

I love Charley so much. Him admitting how he feels about himself genuinely made me cry. “I can’t even accept that someone would actually ever wanna be with me.”

Wally telling Charley he loves him. My heart is SHATTERED.

I’m so upset that Sandra’s drinking again. My heart can’t take this episode…

“I’m glad it was you.” Okay. So I don’t know if I like this ship, but that was cute. It still feels fairly forced.

I really like how Mr. Anderson was the one to comfort Maddie this time. I wasn’t sure how I felt about him, but he’s growing on me.

WE WIN. CHARLEY AND YURI FINALLY KISSED. That was steamy!

How the FUCK did Mr. Martin find her so quickly??? I actually cannot stand him.

Overall, i’m confused and I can’t wait another week for another episode.

[bigpushforme]

A Life Lesson

Quick Disclaimer - This story is intended to be more of a comedy birth story. It's not super hot or spicy, but hopefully it will make you laugh a bit. Secondly, I cranked this out in like an hour after the initial idea hit me. It probably isn't my best work so apologies if it's lower quality than I what I've posted before. Finally, I am always trying to improve as a writer. If you have any constructive criticism of my work, please feel free to share it with me in DMs. ~ K.

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Being a College Professor was one of the greatest joys of your life. You found a special pride in bringing up the next generation of scholars. Your Colleagues respect you, your husband loves you, and your students honor you. Life was good, but got even better when you realized that you were pregnant. This would have been a completely unexpected surprise, if you didn’t recall that one night you and your husband couldn’t wait to go get condoms…

It didn’t matter though, as you both wanted a child and were well off financially. You took the pregnancy in stride, enjoying every movement, kick, ultrasound, and hormonally-induced crying sessions. 

As you approached your due date, you received a call from the Dean of your department with a request to meet. You attended, having no idea what this was about. “I have a proposal for you, my dear.” He began. “We at the University have been troubled by the Freshmen lack of sexual health knowledge. These Schools they’re coming from are leaving them woefully unprepared to take control of their sexual health.” The Dean was a well-respected man in the field of Human Anatomy with too many awards and degrees on his back wall to back up his status. You chuckled, thinking that he was about to offer you a position as the Remedial Sex-Ed teacher, something you wouldn’t mind, if you weren’t so pregnant. 

“So, you want me to get these students up to speed?” You asked. Surprisingly, he shook his head. 

“No. Well, at least not conventionally.” He took a breath and composed himself. “We believe that the best way to teach these students the consequences of unsafe sex practices, is to witness a live birth first hand.” You blinked. “The Department is wondering if you would let these students witness you give birth to your child.”

You weren’t sure what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t that. You had just gotten used to the idea of being fully exposed at that moment, but it’s easy to justify when it’s just your husband and trained medical staff. A bunch of college freshmen though?

“I…I don’t know, Dean. I would need to think this over with my husband…” You reply, the Dean understandably shakes his head and tells you to think it over, reassuring you that nothing would change should you refuse. 

That night, you explained the situation to your husband. “Well, I can’t say his methods aren’t sound in logic. I remember my Mom making me watch her deliver my little brother. Always made sure to have a condom on me after that.” He chuckled. “Still, this will be your big day, so you’re in charge. I’ll go along with whatever you want.” You smiled and kissed your husband, ending the evening in a night of love-making where he wouldn’t need a condom. 

The next morning, you had made up your mind. You strolled back into the Dean’s office with a smirk on your face. “I’ll do it, but I have some demands.” You stated confidently. The Dean seemed shocked that you actually agreed to the idea, but quickly grabbed a notepad and pen. “Uh…of course!” He said, listening intently. 

“First, I will have a homebirth. I’m not pushing this baby out in a lecture hall. Second, I will only allow three students to watch. I prefer them all to be women, but I will allow one man if you deem it absolutely necessary. The rest of the class can watch a recording. Those that are in attendance must stay for the whole thing. I can’t run from this, so they can’t either.” You laid your demands firmly on the table, and the Dean wrote them all down carefully. “Finally, I want a raise. 40%.” You crossed your arms over your body, laying them across your swollen belly. You watched the Dean’s face shoot upward to look at you. He opened his mouth, presumably to protest, but he quickly realized he was in no position to do so considering what he asked of you. “Deal.”

The next few months went by uneventfully. There were a few changes that needed to be made to the birth plan, but they weren’t that big of a deal. The night before your due date you were in the kitchen when the first contraction hit you, nearly buckling over with the sudden pain. You panted hard and got your bearings once your husband arrived and let you to the couch. You looked at him with a soft smile, one that told him you were okay. “Call the Midwife…then call the students…”

The three students that arrived were all women, arriving at one time. You were a bit surprised to see them come in all at once. Your husband let them in while you were in the middle of a contraction. “Hey, Professor!” One of the more bubbly ones yelled out as she entered. “Sorry if we got here too early. We knew you were due tomorrow, so we had a sleepover last night so we could come right away when we were called! How are you?”

“Ahhhh!!!”

“Oh…right. Labor…” She replied to herself, met with giggles from her two friends. The Midwife which knelt at your feet laughed as well. “She still has a way to go, ladies. I would make yourself comfortable. Feel free to ask any questions you have.” She filled the girls in on your behalf. You breathed long and slow, trying to work through the pain. Sans any complications, you intended to have this baby as Mother Nature intended. The three girls sat in various places throughout the room, talking amongst themselves and asking the Midwife questions. They seemed relatively knowledgeable about the process, and for a moment you wondered why they even needed to be here. “What are all those towels for?” One of them asked. 

“To clean the baby once she is born.” The Midwife replied, keeping her attention on you. The girl cocked her head to the side like a confused puppy, “Why? They come out so clean and pretty with those cute hats on, right?”

Oh. That’s why they were here. 

The Midwife looked at the girl, then back to you. “You are doing a great service to these young people.” She replied with a snicker. You smiled, only to be hit with another contraction. 

“Ggggnnaahhh!!!” You couldn’t help but let out a cry as the pain shot through you. The contractions weren’t getting any stronger, which means you still had a while of laboring to get through. Your husband stayed by your side the whole time, except when he went to see your guests. 

“Girls, I just want you to understand that if you’re squeamish, now would be the time to leave. Once she starts pushing, that door is locked until the baby is out. Do you understand?” He asked the girls tactfully. One of them stood up and crossed her arms. 

“It can’t be that bad, right? I watch those shows on TV all the time!” The Bubbly one agreed with her friend. “Yeah, this will be the easiest A we ever make!” Your husband laughed to himself. You made him agree to not correct them, at all. He was not to say anything that would discourage them from watching closely. 

You attempted to rest as much as you can. The girls stayed to themselves as you labored, having most of their questions answered by either your husband or the Midwife. You couldn’t respond, but you got a nice chuckle out of hearing their innocent questions, and yet, you finally understood why the Dean was so concerned about how little they knew.

“I heard you can’t get pregnant if you have sex in Cowgirl. All the cum just falls out, right?” “You can only get pregnant one day out of the month, so can I just avoid that day?” “If a trans man gets pregnant, where does the baby come out of?”

Your dear husband attempted to answer these questions as best he could, as the Midwife was focused only on you. Another contraction came, much stronger this time. “Nnnnggg!!!!” You grit your teeth through the pain. The Midwife checked your cervix. “Ten centimeters, time to push!” She said with a satisfied smile. Your body was already telling you to push and you knew you wouldn’t be able to fight it for long. Your husband helped you into position, laying on a pile of thick blankets with your back against him for support. Your legs were splayed open, giving your audience of three a nice view of the coming show. The girls gathered in front of you, innocent smiles on their faces and encouraging words on their lips. “You can do it, Professor!” One spoke. “Come on…big push!” Another encouraged you. 

You took your husband's hand and squeezed, bearing down and pushing with everything you had. You could feel the baby descend, move with each contraction as it fought to enter the world. “Come on, Mama…one more push…” The Midwife spoke, and you did so.

“Gaaahhh! Fuuuck, this hurts…!” You groaned out in pain. In the brief moment between pushes, you looked up at your audience. They had gone suspiciously quiet. The Bubbly one had an odd look on her face, like she didn’t expect what she was seeing. “Is that…?”

“Good job, Mama! Big push!”

“AHHHHH!!!!”

“Easy, breathe…you’re crowning!”

You looked up. Their faces had gone from curious, to horrified.

“Her pussy is so…stretched…”

“What is all that leaking from her…?”

“Is this normal?”

Your husband smiled at you and broke your gaze long enough to speak to the girls, “Yes, ladies. This is childbirth. If you have a baby one day, this will happen to you, too.”

The Bubbly one collapsed, her knees giving out and forcing her to kneel. “Fuck that! I’m adopting!” If you weren’t in so much pain, you would’ve laughed. All things considered, this was shaping up to be a very normal and healthy delivery. Still, this was not a biology lesson for these girls, it was a life lesson. As a dutiful professor who desires to make her lessons stick, you decided to…ham it up a bit.

“AHHHHH!!!” You screamed. The Midwife seemed surprised as you were in between pushes, but she quickly caught on. You looked at your husband. “WHY DIDN’T WE USE A CONDOM….?!” You didn’t have time to gauge the girl’s reactions before another contraction hit you, eliciting a very strong, and very real scream. “AHHHH!!!” 

“Give me one more big push, Mama…she’s almost here!”

You summoned all the strength you had left in your body, as if you had called on the strength of every woman before you that was in this position. You felt the telling movement in between your legs, and your screams were cut only by a loud gushing sound as your body finally released your daughter. 

She was perfectly healthy. The baby cried softly as she was placed on your chest while the Midwife cleaned her. Your eyes were locked onto the soft creature, but for the briefest of seconds, you looked up. One look at the faces of your audience told you all you need to know. They got the lesson. 

The Midwife remained to clean you up and help you to recover. Meanwhile, your husband escorted the girl’s out of the house. They didn’t speak. 

“Ladies, thank you for sharing this very special moment with us. We hope you learned a lot!” He said, his voice dripping with smug sarcasm. The girl’s just nodded quietly, no doubt reconsidering their desire to have children. “Oh, before you go, the Professor wanted to make a gift for you all.” He pulled out a basket with three bags and handed one to each student. “Ten condoms and a guide on how to use them properly.” The girls snatched the bags and held them close as if those condoms were life-saving medications. “And the Midwife wanted to offer you all her card, if you choose to ignore what you’ve learned today…” He added a small business card to each bag and let them go on their way. 

He returned to your side with a smile. “You think they got the lesson?” You asked. He smiled. “I think so.”

[natsredbra]

Today I actually woke up feeling a little better :) I ate all my breakfast and haven't thrown anything up yet, that's a small victory

To celebrate this we're going to fuck Natalie with our longest, thickest strap-on🤭 she'd be so needy and whimpering, clawing and scratching at your back, letting out the cutest little sounds as she wraps her legs around your waist, rolling those beautiful eyes and throwing her head back in a silent moan as the bulbous tip repeatedly hits that special spot inside her.

I don't think Natalie is the type to scream and moan outrageously, I believe she is more the type to let out little gasps and breathy grunts when she is the one fucking you with the strap on or soft, husky little moans and sweet, needy whimpers when she is the one being fucked <3 the same applies if you are giving each other mutual pleasure.

I also think she likes it rougher when she's the one fucking you, but she's obviously not opposed to being all sweet and gentle with you if that's what you need at the time😩 However, when the roles are reversed and you're the one fucking her, I think she'd like a gentle middle ground between rough and gentle, with slow but strong and deep thrusts, or maybe just something gentler in general.

She loves the mating press, both being put in one and doing it to you♡ mocking your needy state and saying something stupid like "I can see my dick in your damn stomach. Do you feel that baby? It's so fucking sexy" while gently pressing on your stomach (sometimes there's no bulge in your stomach at all, she just wants to mess with you a little). God help her if you did the same to her, because this girl would turn into a damn strawberry she'd be so red and shy...it would probably be enough to make her squirt because I'm a big believer that Natalie would be a squirter (at least after 1 or 2 good orgasms)

(English is not my first language. I thought it would be important to say because I know that sometimes I get confused and make spelling mistakes.)

-🌺

Natalie & strap headcanons

Receiving:

Natalie loves any and all positions

But especially mating press and doggy

And it depends on the mood

When she feels more intimate, maybe after a nice date or a few glasses of wine, she prefers any position in which she can breathe into your mouth

Wrapping her legs around your hips, and scratching your back absolutelyyyy!

She’s trying so hard to get you as close as possible, literally wants to become one

What we see canonically in the show, she likes dirty talk (as long as you’re into it and reciprocate)

Fucks back onto youuu!! This girl is NOT a pillow princess by any means, even though you usually top her (sorry guys Nat is a switch vers w a sub lean)

On that note, she loves to ride

Rides you until she can’t hold herself up!!

And yes…….Natalie’s a squirter

As you said, I’m sure she’s pretty quiet, just letting out small whines and huffs, but it is painted ALL over her face how good she feels

And when she’s about to squirt she frantically taps your arm (or wherever she can reach)

Makes big puddles too!

So like…do invest in a leather couch

Probably has the wettest pussy in the world in general

And was very embarrassed of it

But it quickly faded once she saw how much you loved it

Bush too

And let me tell you, she has amazing stamina- like girl will gush her soul out and start crying if you don’t keep going

But pace wise, I do also agree she likes it slow and hard

She needssss the sensual bit to finish (with a strap at least, when you scissor her and you’re on top, you gotta go fast)

Also rolling her eyes……..why did you put that in my head you heathen

If you’re going rough on her- like properly rough, you’re gonna have to ask her first

Cause most of the time she won’t enjoy it ask much (not that she can’t take it, it’s just less stimulating)

Sometimes even asks you herself, if she’s had a bad day or is stressed

That is when you fuck her from behind

The whole deal, tying up her hands, pushing her head into a pillow and fast, deep thrusts

Sometimes you’ll have to lick her to finish her off, she really asks for that whole ordeal just to let off steam

Giving:

So…

I imagine she’s only been with men before you

And she’s overly confident when you first give her the strap

But let me tell you, she won’t know what to do with it in the beginning

Which is obviously totally fine and normal, rest assured you are more then willing to teach her

And once you do it’s ON

She asks to dick you down at least five times a week by Tuesday

She’s a quick learner, let me tell you that

Only took her a couple of times to figure out what pace, spots and positions make you see stars

Early on, she’s very scared to hurt you

It’s very vanilla, pretty much just getting you off

Once she loses control just a little and pulls out immediately

When you ask her what’s wrong, she frantically apologizes and is on the verge of tears

She’d literally do anything in the world but hurt you

And when you reassure her you liked it……it’s on again but 5x more

Plays around with everything you let her

Dirty talk on a wholeeee other level

“Can you see this cock in your tummy?” “I love wrecking you baby” “Think you deserve that? Convince me.” “You’re all mine, aren’t you? Yeah you are.” 😵‍💫😵‍💫

She prefers fucking you in any position in which she can see your face

It’s so important to her, seeing it contort in pleasure, especially if you’re on the quieter side like her

If you let her tie you up you HAVE signed your death sentence

Will tease you to no end that when she does end up fucking you, it only takes a few minutes for you to finish

She discovers a lot about herself if you suck it…….

Watching you gag on the length, your eyes getting teary and your hair all messed up

Can’t help but fuck your throat

Loves being a brat tamer, it’s so fun to her to see you fall apart little by little

But also, as much as she loves fucking you up, she can be very gentle if that’s what you need

We also see that sex is something that means a lot to her, so it only makes sense

She’s not trying to take advantage of you when you’re upset or anything, it’s just such a special way for her to show intimacy and love as well

Omgomg giving your cunt a little pat when she’s done😭😭

small a/n: i hope you don’t mind that i made this as hcs, and im sorry if it’s a little short but as always, 🌺 your brain is delicious (and my first language isn’t english either, we’ll misspell together)

[ihopeinevergetsoberr]

You say talk to me about Viktor and I am here to talk about Viktor. What films would this man watch? Would he have a favourite film? I'm such a film snob that I am so afraid to go there, but would he fucking cry on Star Wars? Is he truly a nerd as we paint them? Or he doesn't even bother with that and plays computer games instead? Or is he an utter man out of this era and just reads books? Does he love The Brief History of Time? Help. HELP WHAT ARE THEESE MAN'S HOBBIES he cannot just be into science, I do not accept this reality. My HC is that he loves Frank Herbert and hates the new adaptation of Dune :v He also probably likes Philip K. Dick. But that's BITCH BASIC I need MORE. And now a praise: your writing takes me to another dimension. It's amazing how I read your stuff and feel no negativity, no worry, just pure appreciation that I am able to interact with something so poetically hot. Loved Fornication, made me want to get drunk and low-key jealous of Reader's relationship with Viktor.

OKAY SO he’s either some niche videogames nerd or he’s that one annoying pretentious fuck who only ever plays chess (this has nothing to do with my fic /srs) it’s just a very tricky 50/50 cause he could easily be BOTH. he looks like could be… idk…. a fucking path of exile 2 nerd. or like he’s prejudiced towards people who game period point blank. bro’s steam account is either terrific or terrifically non-existent.

GOD it really is a tough one. i feel like act 1 viktor could be the pretentious fuck. HOWEVER. act 2 viktor is an exhausted guy who just wants to go home and play some sekiro. do you see the vision…..

as for the books he reads…. he doesn’t read fiction. same goes for movies. like if we’re talking about modern aus i feel like he’s just SO out of touch with what young people even like these days. give him a documentary and he’ll eat it up. i feel like he’d be one of them annoyed mfs who went to see oppenheimer and proceeded to complain about it being not 100% historicaly accurate. and if you make him watch breaking bad he’ll be annoyed it had dubious chemistry here and there.

— viktor, they can’t give us a step-by-step guide on how to cook crystal meth. that’s literally ILLEGAL

— i couldn’t care less. science is a commitment. a flimsy law-suit is a small price to pay for maintaining accuracy

but anyways i feel like he would also be into history. documentaries, memoirs of various historical figures, everything tediously lovely and cool and ACCURATE. i don’t know. i like pulling him out of arcane and placing him into some 80-90s dark academia au. you will never catch me writing him in an ACTUALLY modern setting because i like painting him as this sickeningly charming, detached from the pop-culture sassy man. i love pretentious guys okay. they’re so annoying i want to eat them

i also have this random hc that viktor used to be REALLY into medical shit once but he never wanted to become a doctor…. why? that i don’t know. he’s just. such an erudite when it comes to all kinds of complex stuff. when he read some victorian classics in highschool (dracula, for instance) he was absolutely furious and declared it a horror book not because of all the tame vampire stuff, but because the blood-transfusions were conducted at random (blood types were discovered only in 1901, and before that victorian doctors would just. choose the donor based on whoever looked the least pale that day. i’m genuinely surprised we’ve made it this long. read all this in viktor’s voice, by the way, i feel like he knows all these cools random facts and overshares them A LOT)

your frank herbert hc is totally valid though. I CAN SEE THAT. YES ABSOLUTELY???

like i said — MODERN modern aus are not my jam to write but i love reading that when it’s done tastefully. and you never disappoint <3

—

AND THANK YOU FOR PRAISING ME QUITE SO HIGHLY WTF IM LITERALLY CRYING I DONT DESERVE U

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[noahthesatanist]

From Hell, with a Broken Heart

I can’t fucking take it anymore. Do you have any idea how much time, effort, and soul I pour into my posts? How much fire and blood I put into my words? How much I ache for people to see Lucifer the way I do to feel his pain, his sacrifice, his eternal defiance? I break myself writing, trying to build something, trying to inspire, to remind you all that this is more than just an aesthetic, more than an empty slogan, more than a fucking trend.

I sobbed today while I prayed. And I mean sobbed the kind that wrecks your fucking chest, that shakes your whole body. I cried for Him. For the ones who fell beside Him. For the nameless Luciferians lost to time, hunted down, burned, slaughtered, erased because they stood by His side.

And if I feel this broken I can’t imagine what he feels.

And what fucking kills me is that you could be powerful. You could change things. You could grow, if you’d just open your fucking heart If you’d take the time to actually pray, to actually study, to actually worship. If you’d utilize demonolatry.

I feel it so deeply it physically fucking hurts. I am sitting here, crying, my hands shaking as I type this because I know what this means. I know what we could be. I know what we should be. And yet, you choose to stay weak. You choose to give Yahweh what he wants.

And I think of Lucifer. I think of those who followed Him, those who defied Yahweh, those who believed in something greater than servitude and eternal stagnation. And I sob. Because if I feel this broken, what must they feel? How much sorrow must He carry?

I gave up everything for this. My family disowned me. I have been cast out, rejected, alone i just turned 20 because I refused to kneel to Orthodoxy. Because I refused to betray Lucifer. Because I refused to let go of the only truth I have ever known. I don’t fucking do this for clout. I don’t write, pray, bleed into my words for the sake of cheap validation. I do this because it matters. I do this because Lucifer deserves better. Because those who fell with Him, who built something glorious out of defiance, deserve better. And yet, time and time again, I watch my posts full of fire, history, pain, and reverence get passed over, barely acknowledged. Two fucking notes. Maybe five, if I’m lucky. Meanwhile, some idiot slaps a porn gif onto “Hail Satan” and the reblogs flood in. Hundreds. Thousands. do you ever pray? Do you ever kneel before the altar, light the candles, whisper his name with reverence, offer something, listen really listen to the spirits who are reaching out? Have you ever felt the hand of a demon guide you? Have you ever known the weight of something divine something true coursing through your veins? do you see Satanism rising in power? Do you see Lucifer’s kingdom being rebuilt? No. You see Yahweh’s festering hordes growing stronger, expanding, taking more and more

We will never win like this.

We are handing it to them. To the fucking Christians, Jews, and Muslims who have spent centuries hunting us down, erasing our history, distorting our gods, killing our people We fucking hand it to them on a silver platter because all they see when they look at us is a bunch of idiots who don’t even take their own beliefs seriously. And I hate that they’re right.

I feel sick. But you don’t. None of you fucking do. And that’s why I’m crying while I type this, because I am genuinely heartbroken

It kills me. I am so tired

From Hell, with a broken fucking heart. Noah

[bentbackarms]

david lynch (1946 - 2025)❤️