#i’m 14% into it and i’ve already cried twice so!!!

[ceramicbird]

so i finished gideon the ninth last night. and i am still reeling!!!

[domesticateddog]

as brief as i can i’m gonna say what i’ve gone through in the past year:

DPDR panic attacks got worse again, eventually and reluctantly had 6 more rounds of ECT in november-december, supposed to do more rounds but i just CAN NOT do it. it’s like a fucking phobia to go through it again. dpdr got mildly better

on february 12th (super bowl sunday) i started to have another DPDR panic attack, ran inside the house and somehow woke up barely able to move or breath extremely confused on the kitchen floor: i had a 2 minute long tonic clonic seizure out of nowhere. my boyfriend and father in law were both on the phone with 911 and my parents. i was the most tired i’ve ever been in my life and couldn’t understand anything anyone was asking me, somehow i got the strength to walk to my bed and layer down. paramedics came, assessed me and took me to the hospital. they tried to discharge me but i asked to see the doctor so they admitted me for a night. they did an MRI and an EEG and both were fine. they had already given me anticonvulsants and plus ativan (which is also an anticonvulsant) so i don’t understand what they were looking for. obviously i’m not going to seize while very heavily medicated.. i got discharged without answers.

no answers and i had to wait 6 WEEKS until i actually saw a neurologist, he spoke to me for 2 minutes max and said “eh sometimes people have seizures, give me $10,000 goodbye”

my DPDR panic attacks got SIGNIFICANTLY worse on top of my CONSTANT fear of having another seizure. this is the worst it’s ever been ever and i do not know what to do anymore.

i saw my psychiatrist twice, she gave me lamictal and then immediately quit without warning and i still don’t have a psychiatrist and i think the lamictal (anticonvulsant/mood stabilizer and anxiety/depression medication) is making my DPDR worse. but i cannot just GO OFF my meds because i don’t want another seizure. i CANNOT go through that again….

got in a huge fucking battle with my primary care doctor over getting ativan as needed and he FINALLY gave me 14 (14!?!?! KILL YOURSELF!!)

all psychiatrists are BOOKED SOLID so i eventually went to the nearby mental health place that sucks fucking ass and the nearest psychiatrist appointment they had is july 30th….. so i still haven’t gotten established yet.

my DPDR is at an all time high and i cannot go on walks or bike rides anymore without having an attack and now i am reluctantly thinking about getting ECT again. i have cried NUMEROUS times just thinking about it and the thought makes me want to puke. the entire experience just so terrifying to me and it’s SO clinical it GIVES me panic attacks just thinking about it. i have yet to actually go through with it but we will see.

ECT scares me so fucking bad and although i’ve done it 14 times total now, the thought of doing it again makes me want to kill myself. the entire thing is my worst nightmare. bright fluorescent lights, all the sounds of the other patients going first before me while my heartbeat goes so fast the nurse has to come in a turn my monitor off multiple times. 5-6 people gathering around me, talking while they lay me down flat and try to put both the mouth block in and the “oxygen” mask (i can’t breath with it on) and then putting me to sleep while i struggle being able to swallow until i finally hear that disgusting sounds that rings in my ears when give anesthetics….just typing this out is making me shake and tremble and i’m probably gonna have to do it again because it’s the only thing that has ever effectively worked

[alittleillumination]

2023 Drama Round-Up!

I know no one asked for this, but I figured I’d post what I’ve watched this year and how I rank them in case anyone is looking for recommendations! I saw @dangermousie did this and stole this idea (hope that’s ok!)

14. Heartbeat: It was…fine? Didn’t really leave me with any lasting impression. Was hoping for more from a drama about a vampire. I need a good vampire drama. This wasn’t it.

13. Moon Lovers: Scarlet Heart Ryeo - So much potential, didn’t live up to the hype. Give me those BATB vibes any day normally, but in this case the FML was too Mary Sue for me.

12. Back from the Brink- Fun! Good side characters! ML bored me to tears. FML carried the drama. Will keep an eye out for her.

11. Moon in the Day: A solid story. Nice and neat. Definitely would watch the ML in other things. I’m always here for a reincarnation storyline.

10. My Journey to You - Esther Yu! Zhang Linghe! Other awesome characters! Vibes! Otherwise just OK, I wasn’t super invested in the story. Would watch a second season if they deign to make one.

9. The King: Eternal Monarch - Another one that had great potential and I ended up somewhat disappointed. The concept was fantastic. I really love a modern day story with a modern monarch who’s beloved. I’m a big fan of the two main actors so that bumped it up the list. Unfortunately their chemistry was only so-so.

8. Tale of the Nine Tailed S1 - LEE YEON AND LEE RANG brother dynamic sobbbb

7. Doom at Your Service - Great leads with awesome chemistry! Sad! Story was simple and sweet.

6. Love is Sweet - OG Bai Lu/Luo Yunxi couple!! I loved them so much, I’m def watching this show again and again. Couldn’t stand the second couple, though, I skipped all of their scenes.

5. Alchemy of Souls S1 - This show has such a phenomenal concept, and a really well flushed out universe. The side characters are all great and three dimensional. I love the magic too. It’s lower on the list just because I’m not as emotionally connected to the leads as I am to those in other shows, but I really love this show.

4. Tale of the Nine-Tailed 1938 - This show has it all: magic, romance, historical setting, fashion, time travel, politics, humor. As much as I love LDW/Lee Yeon, the show was really an ensemble triumph. The story, the action, the humor, everything was top notch. Excelled in surpassing the first season in quality which seems so unlikely but they really did it.

TIED FOR SECOND

Til The End of the Moon - What can I say about this show? It’s wump central. It’s serving misunderstanding trope but make it completely overdone and unbearable. The fake blood budget alone could have paid all of the actors’ salaries. The female lead got shafted in favor of the male lead.

And yet…

You’ll think about this show every day for the rest of your life. I know I do.

(Also credited for the beginning of my obsession with Luo Yunxi. He’s babygirl. Tantai Jin is the best character ever written.)

Goblin - Oh man, this show. THIS SHOW. Despite some controversy over the age difference between the main couple, i love them. I grew up on vampire romance, nothing can sway me there. I really bought into their romance and I was devastated when they went through it. I cried more in this show than I have in any other. I also completely loved and was invested in the second couple, which almost NEVER happens.

Despite the romance of the two couples being stellar, it was the friendship and the found family that really sold it for me. The Goblin and the Grim Reaper have the best friendship and wildly fun chemistry onscreen. I couldn’t get enough of them. I watched the bts of them so many times over.

And my favorite for 2023…

1. Love Between Fairy and Devil - My first Asian drama. My first love. Noting will surpass this. No couple will touch Dongfang Qingcang and Xiao Lan Hua. I’ve rewatched it twice already. It’s the clear winner.

I’m currently watching My Demon and so far it’s rly good. Might break top ten.

On the short list to watch in 2024:

- Alchemy of Souls S2 (I’m not ready for it to end but I NEED to see it)

- Ashes of Love (I’m forcing myself to finish this I HAVE TO FOR LY)

- Story of Kunning Palace

- Only for Love

[sheepiling]

15 Questions for 15 Mutuals

Thank you to @cantseemtohide for the tag! 🤗 

1. Are you named after anyone? 

I was adopted at 18 months and never met my biological mother after that so I have no way of knowing; my adoptive parents didn’t change my first or middle names. 

2. When was the last time you cried? 

I always cry during period week. And every time I watch Encanto. 

3. Do you have kids? 

Not yet! My husband and I do want at least one kid, though. Maybe two! Not yet, though. 

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? 

Only for friends that like sarcasm. If I don’t know someone well enough to know their sense of humor yet or I know they don’t like sarcasm then I don’t use it around them. I enjoy it but it’s situational for me. 

5. What sports do you play / have you played? 

I was in marching band in high school, and when I was little I took ballet classes, though I didn’t stay in those long enough to graduate to pointe shoes. idk if those count as sports but that’s the only physical activities I did growing up. Nowadays I just do weights and jogging. 

6. What’s the first thing you notice about other people? 

Personality, vibe checks, & whether or not I wanna actually talk to them or just be polite and yeet out of there. 

7. Eye color? 

Greyish-blue! Sometimes tealish. It depends on the lighting and what I’m wearing. But usually a light turquoise blue-grey color. 

8. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? 

While I love classic horror and occult halloweeny things, I love fairy tales more, so happy endings wins! Also I dislike all the modern horror stuff that’s a bunch of gore and jump scares and violence. I prefer horror that’s 80s or older. But I love all fairy tale movies no matter when they’re made! 

9. Any special talents? 

My long-term memory is abnormally good. I can vividly remember back to kindergarten. However, my short term memory is crap. I’m always losing my phone. 😅 

10. Where were you born? 

F L O R I D A 

11. What are your hobbies? 

Playing Sims and being on Simblr (obviously) but I also like a couple MMORPGs that I play with my guild. I’m also in the choir at my Unitarian Universalist church, and I still play Flute and Bodhrán privately. I’ve been meaning to join a local drum circle but haven’t dedicated the time to that yet. 

12. Do you have any pets? 

Yes! I have 2 cats, Abigail and Tigger, and they’re mother and son! Though if we’re counting my mom’s & mi suegra’s pets as well then we have a total of 6 pets in the family. My mom has 3 cats, Little One, Midnight, and Dev (all are rescued strays ♡) and my husband’s family has a yorkie named Toby. 💕  and that puppy is mad spoiled they have baby strollers for him and take him everywhere! 😂 

13. How tall are you? 

In freedom metrics I’m 5′4″ 

14. Favorite subject in school? 

I always liked music / band the most! When you’re in marching band it consumes your entire life. The rehearsals are so long. But that’s where all my friends were so it was amazing. 💖 

15. Dream job? 

I flunked out of college twice, I’ve kind of given up on any type of careers. My husband is able to support us and I just get part time things when I’m able. Once we have kids I plan on being a stay-at-home mom, and if USA doesn’t fix the violence in schools problem we’ve been having by the time our future kiddos are ready for school I’ll probably homeschool at least the early elementary years. Though once the math gets too advanced for me to be able to teach I’ll need to look for other options ‘cuz I can’t homeschool the whole K~12. Hopefully we can get some kind of education reform by that time. 

And now to tag peeps! I’m a bit late to answer this b/c of my Mexico trip and a lot of people have done this already. Also, 15 people is A LOT for a tag game so I’m just gonna pick the most recent mutuals in my Activity log! Sorry if you already did this. If anyone else didn’t get a ping for this tag and wants to do it you can totes tag me as the person that tagged you, though! ♡ 

@helenofsimblr @sparkiekong @sassie-sims @druidberries @daydreamertrait @timberllania @sir-silly @nolongerafruit @nightlifeseries @silverspringsimmer @coliemoongaming @sims-for-semi @saps-sims @faetheegrey @talesofsimverse 

[sailforvalinor]

15 questions 15 mutuals tagged by @o-lei-o-lai-o-lord

Rules: answer the questions and then tag fifteen mutuals

1. Are you named after anyone?

Technically I’m named after my grandmother, but I’m actually named after her middle name because she goes by her middle name instead of her first name. It’s confusing 😂

2. When was the last time you cried?

Hmmm, not sure…probably in my last counseling appointment.

3. Do you have kids?

Nope, but I’d like to someday!

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

You know, now that I think about it, I do sometimes, but not nearly as much as I used to.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Honestly, whether or not I find them intimidating. (Which is hilarious, because my mom and others have said that I come off as intimidating—I don’t get it! I’m a lil bundle of nerves all the time! 😂)

6. What’s your eye color?

Blue.

7. Scary movies or happy endings!

Most definitely happy endings, although I find that some of the best fiction mixes a bit of both.

8. Any special talents?

Hmm…I can tap dance!

9. Where were you born?

A lil hospital in a college town in the southeast.

10. What are your hobbies?

Reading, writing, hyperfixating on media, playing video games, dancing, knitting…

11. Have you any pets?

I have two dogs at home (I’m at college right now) who I miss very very much. I think I’ve posted a picture of one of them, my cavalier, but I think he was hiding behind a chair, so 😂

12. What sports do you play/have played?

I was a dancer all the way from when I was in elementary school until I graduated high school. (And yes, dance IS as much a sport as it is an art form.) I’m a bit out of practice, but I’m hoping to get my brother (who is also a dancer) to take ballroom with me over the summer.

13. How tall are you?

Five-foot-one. I tiny.

14. Favorite subject in school?

Any creative writing class. (Except for maybe the creative nonfiction class I took my freshman year, not a medium I particularly enjoy.)

15. Dream job?

Honestly I’d love to be able to be a successful author and a stay-at-home mom at the same time, lol.

Tagging with no pressure (and if you’ve already been tagged in this game don’t feel the need to do it twice):

@braveheartstoryteller @novelmonger @kanerallels @accidental-spice @faeriefully @esthelle18 @oleander-neria @queenofnevermore @i-am-a-stupid-robot @taciturn-nerd @iwriteashollers-and-levade

[drinkingbitterboy]

hello i actually got tagged twice in this post so thank you to @insectbitch​ and @uhbasicallyjustmilex​ and i’m sorry i was a bit behind!

15 questions/15 mutuals

1. are you named after anyone?

apparently my first name was, and i quote my mother, from “some hot girl on tv” and my middle name is for my grandma

2. when was the last time you cried?

yesterday during my friends’ wedding ceremony! bless them

3. do you have kids?

nope, just an extremely anxious dog everyone refers to as our son. would like to have an actual child in a couple years, probably

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

it may be my native tongue, actually.

5. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

clothes, hair, and mannerisms. i am garbage at looking people in the eye so i don’t keep track of faces well, but i’m quite good at pointing people out based on what they’re wearing and doing.

6. what’s your eye color?

dark brown, almost black

7. scary movies or good endings?

good endings -- i am a big coward with jump scares and things like that so i do not do horror movies. i’ll do spooky stuff if it’s more of a psychological horror kind of vibe. but i always want good endings because i need a payoff for having hope.

8. any special talents?

the running joke is that if it’s made out of paper or yarn, i can make it. not to sound cocky, but it’s kind of true. i’ve made a lot of things based on pictures someone sent me going  “can you make this?” examples include: a scarf to match a friend’s hat made by his great-grandmother in the 90s, a handmade origami ribbon lei, a hat to replace a vintage hat that somebody lost, etc

9. where were you born?

texas, usa

10. what are your hobbies?

crochet, cross stitch, video games, reading, playing music (on several instruments)

11. do you have any pets?

my one anxious puppy! i say “puppy” but he’s 3 so...

12. what sports do you play/have you played?

primarily soccer and i’m not the worst at beach volleyball. my real and best physical activity was marching band, lmao

13. how tall are you?

5′3″, unfortunately

14. favorite subject in school?

i loved physics enough to get a degree in it, but really my heart was in all my music classes.

15. dream job?

i am torn between two INCREDIBLY different worlds, just like my school career. i loved doing astrophysics research, but i’m not cut out for academia. i also love performing, but i’m not talented or brave enough to be like a solo musician or in a band. so i guess if i could just be an astrophysicist that sometimes performs as a tour musician? i loved being a backing musician on stage!

i think i overshared again.

i’m also sure that literally everyone i would want to tag got tagged already (this is not a blog with a lot of followers) so like feel free to just do this anyway for fun!

[shewhoeatssand]

1, 5, 9, 14 asks^^

1) fave characters

y’all already know the answer here is Kaneki ❤️❤️ but other characters I really like to see are Shikorae/Rio, Shuu and Hinami (pre-aogiri. I like to pretend :re never happened outside of Haise cooking.)

5) weird headcanon

Shuu would be soooo lactose intolerant if he was a human. I get that he would be half european and should be able to eat it but shhshsh he CANNOT have milk. He’d still stand and lick ice cream from the cone whilst looking so beautiful at the dock by a lake on a summer’s afternoon, though

ALSO Hide used to eat his boogers until he was 10. And if Rio was human he would have a strange obsession with bananas and would eat them at least twice a day (he can tell you the entire history of the banana plant and how bananas are traded across the globe alongside a very wide variety of recipes from memory).

9) which character had the worst use?

I haven’t read the manga in a while, but I vaguely remember a firefighter guy being introduced in :re as the cousin of one of the other more important CCG dudes and then being immediately killed after a couple pages, so I would have to say that guy. He was really pointless.

I think this might mean characters who were wasted, though? I’m not really sure. Maybe Amon towards the end of the manga since I can barely remember him doing anything after being turned into a ghoul outside of a chat with Kaneki and being broken out of a tube. They could’ve just let him die? But again, I’ve only ever fully read :re once and that was a very long time ago. So apologies if I can’t answer some of these very well.

14) which death made you cry?

I’M SORRY BUT NO CHARACTER DEATH IN HISTORY HAS EVER MADE ME CRY. I’m an alpha male, we don’t have emotions 💪 but I did come pretty close with Kaneki. For some reason I confused :re as an alternate storyline as Kaneki in the CCG instead of being a sequel, so when he died in the OG manga I genuinely thought he died for real. Which I was very upset about. Yet somehow I still didn’t cry? I have cried over Kaneki when rereading or just while thinking about him, though. Sometimes it was tears of joy and sometimes it was over what he’d been through, mostly it was just me making up bad scenarios. I’ve also gotten teary over Shuu because I just wanted to be his friend So So Bad. So while the source material can’t really hurt me, I know I can always depend on myself to 👍

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

229 of 2023

1. What is one thing you will never do again?

I’d say have sex, but I don’t want to disappoint my husband.

2. Would you rather be twice as smart or twice as happy?

Hard choice. Twice as happy, I guess. I’m already smart enough.

3. What happened the last time you cried?

I don’t cry.

4. What happened the time in your life when you were the most nervous to do something?

I wanted to confess to someone, but I didn’t because I was too anxious. Nothing cae out of it. Well, maybe it wasn’t meant to be.

5. What would your parents be surprised to learn about you?

They were very... surprised to find out their son likes other boys lol. They couldn’t get over it for a very long time.

6. What’s your worst habit?

Biting my nails.

7. What superpower would you have for one day?

For just one day? Invisibility. I would pull lots of pranks on people.

8. What fictional character do you have the biggest crush on?

I’ve never had crushes on fictional characters. Not even when I was 12.

9. Where would you live if you could live anywhere in the world?

Here. I love my damn country so much.

10. What is your most bizarre pet peeve?

Fries are not French okay?

11. Who knows you the best?

My sister.

12. What after school activities did you do in high school?

Photography, drawing, maths, basketball.

13. What “most likely to” superlative would you be most honored to receive?

Most likely to make eveyone’s day better.

14. What’s the last book you really loved?

I’ve answered this question too many times.

15. What was the greatest television show of all time?

All these old British sitcoms.

16. What’s been your favorite age so far?

23 to 25.

17. If you could go back in time, what is one piece of advice you would give your younger self?

Prepare for pain.

18. What one thing would you be most disappointed if you never got to experience it?

Travelling.

19. Apologize or ask permission?

...wut?

20. Unlimited love or money?

I already have unlimited love. Money wouldn’t hurt then, even though I’m not the materialist type.

21. If you knew you would die in one week, what would you do?

Everything I was not allowed to do.

22. What’s your most listened to song?

Lange Frans & Baas B - Ik Wacht Al Zo Lang.

23. Beach vacation or European vacation?

Pffft I can have both if I come visit my hometown 😂 I come from a Belgian coastal town.

24. If you could have been a child prodigy what would you have wanted to be skilled at?

Physics. Wait, I am already.

25. What’s the first thing you would do if you won the lottery?

Buy a house.

26. What celebrity would you trade lives with?

None, I like my life in privacy.

27. If you were a performing artist, what would you title your first album?

No idea. Probably self-titled.

28. What story do your friends still give you crap about?

I don’t even understand this question.

29. If earth could only have one condiment for the rest of time, what would you pick to keep around?

Fritessaus.

30. What is the ideal number of people to have over on a Friday night?

10 to 15.

31. What was the worst age you’ve been so far?

17 to 22, I was through a major depressive episode.

32. What is your weirdest dealbreaker?

People who stink? Otherwise my dealbreakers are common.

33. What fictional character reminds you most of yourself?

Can’t think of any.

34. Do you believe in karma?

Yeah. What goes around, comes around.

35. What was your favorite TV show as a kid?

Smurfs probably.

36. What is the weirdest thing you find attractive in a person?

Thighs. And sometimes scars.

37. What Jeopardy! category would you clear, no problem?

I barely know what it is.

38. What is something you’re superstitious about?

Talking loud about some things making these things really happen.

39. What is the scariest experience you have ever had?

Brain haemorrhage.

40. Who is a non-politician you wish would run for office?

No.

41. What cheesey song do you have memorized?

Man, there’s a lot. Can’t remember from the top of my head.

42. What one dead person would you most like to have dinner with, if it were possible?

Nikola Tesla.

43. Do you think it’s important to stay up to date with the news?

Probably, but holy shit, all the news these days are so depressing.

44. What is the best present you’ve ever received?

The presence of people who mean a lot to me.

45. Would you give up one of your fingers if it meant you’d have free wifi wherever you go, for the rest of your life?

Nah. Internet is not that important.

46. What’s the first thing you’d do if you were the opposite sex for one day?

Hate myself.

47. If someone told you you could give one person a present and your budget was unlimited–what present would you get and for whom?

I’d buy a house for my husband and me, and his son of course.

48. What is the nicest thing someone could say about you?

That I’m intelligent and fun to be around.

49. Giant house in a subdivision or tiny house somewhere with a view?

Tiny house.

50. What is the weirdest quirk your family has?

The fact they exist. I love my family nonetheless.

[letterstobojack]

Dear Bojack Horseman (obviously)

I just wanted to know that your show has helped me in so many ways. I first watched Bojack Horseman my freshman year of high school during Christmas break. I am now a junior and I still rewatch it like I’ve never seen it before. High school hasn’t been the best for me mentally. I have lost all my friends twice and I felt so alone that I couldn’t stand it. Freshman year was rough because I did lose all my friends from middle school pretty much I had some new friends by Christmas, but no really close ones besides one person. He forgot to text me. I think when I first started watch Bojack Horseman I sat and watch like the first 3 seasons in one sitting. I watched this show and my mind was blown. You guys handle mental health so well in this show. I felt lonely and sad but, while watching the show I didn’t feel alone feeling like that. I felt that my feels were more normal and it was ok to feel like that. Last year I had a rough year. Right before school started I found out my maw maw Kay was sick and my dad was moving down to Florida to help take care of her after she had surgery. She’s all ok now by the way. My dad is the person I tell everything to and was my favorite person. Well he moved 14 hours away and I felt lost and sad/mad. I was really upset and really only kept people at arms reach. I lost a lot of friends like that. While I going though all this rough stuff season 5 came out and to be honest that made me so happy. I didn’t even realize season 5 was coming out and I watched it as soon as I got home. Last school year stuff happened that made me lose all my friends and I was being told by someone who use to say “I love you” everyday to telling me I’m a awful person. I honestly rewatched the show so much just to try and make me feel better about life. When I found out season 6 was going to be the last season I think I cried a little bit. I’m a emotional person. When season 6 came out it was 3 am for me, but I stayed up all night to watch it since it was a Friday and I’m in the band at school I had to go to the football game. I finished the first half of season 6 during lunch I could of had it done on the bus, but I took a nap on the bus instead. When I realized on the 21st that the season half was in 10 days I hadn’t rewatched the series yet, so I had to. My friends didn’t think I was going to be able to finish it in 10 days, but I did. I’ve already rewatched everything and it’s all fresh. Back to my dad though. He hates the show, but I think it’s because you remind him of himself in a away. He also just doesn’t understand why I like the show so much. He likes Tod though. Your show was one of the shows that really made me realize I want to go into animation. The show also inspired my topic for my ap portfolio. I’m also going to use a quote from the show as my senior quote next year. I know you don’t know me personally and I don’t know you personally, but thank you so much for just being you.

[t3kandson]

Dalrae

Wordcount; 1,851

Fandom; The Boyz

Pairing; Reader X Sohn Eric & Reader X Kim Younghoon

Characters; Sohn Eric & Lee Juyeon

Warning; mild smut, sexual thoughts, angst, blood Sucking, Car Accident, Vampire Creating and death of a minor Character.

Notes; Chapter 4/14 of Part Three

Earlier parts and chapter here

Dalrae was a petit little thing, her honey brown hair felt soft beneath your hands, her eyes hurting you as you took your fangs to her neck, the way her hands held you warming your skin. You couldn’t take her life, she felt special and you instantly attached yourself to her. You never once fed from her, in the months where you would enjoy walks along the dark night, when she found out you was a vampire she never fled.

When your nightmares came, even though she knew that was of your Y/N, you would wake to her concerned eyes. She would comfort you and lull you back to reality. You had fallen for her hard, but kept yourself slightly back from letting her completely in.

She soon asked that dreaded question, your body stiffing as she begged to be turned after witnessing the after effects of another human meal. The thought of risking her life like Y/N was enough to keep you avoiding answering that question, till she broke down one evening.

“I wish you loved me like her,” she cried in a heap on the floor when you entered your flat. You crept down to pull her close to you smelling her vanilla scented hair. “I’ve already told you this is not the life I want for you,” you said rolling your thumb on her back as she sobbed in your arms. “Yet you turned someone else tonight,” she whimpered. “I told you why,” you scoffed. She turned to look at you, her eyes red and puffy that your heart hurt seeing her so upset. “That I’m special,” she choked, “I’m so special that you don’t want to live forever with me,” she cried. “No, no that’s not it at all, I don’t want any harm to come to you,” you said stroking her face, looking at her quivering lips, glossed with the wet tears fallen from her plight. “I don’t want to watch you die,” you added smiling at her but her face scrunched up. “If one thing in my mortal life’s guaranteed, it’s that your witness my death, I won’t live forever,” she said. “Yeah your right your going to die in my arms, old and after having a fulfilled life,” you said smiling at her, she realised her tears wouldn’t persuade you and dropped her plight.

She had tried to push the conversation twice more and then the day came where she finally got her wish.

Your tear soaked face as you cradled her crumbled up body. Instead of your beautiful Dalrae, it was your Y/N’s face looking at you. A crumbled blooded mess, the car she had been tossed out of, upside down on the road as her breathing slowed. You knew she was dying, her injury’s was too much as she pleaded with you to turn her one last time. The thought of losing her like Y/N gave you no hesitation as you sunk your teeth in to her neck, her coconut essence blood filling your mouth as you tasted her, drinking from her till it was time to let her be your new vampire companion.

Things changed from then, you both hunted, she was gifted enough to know how much to take before death or turning them. You chuckled thinking how thrilled Hyunjae, Jacob & Kevin would be to have another blood catcher in the family, before remembering that was the last place you was welcome, let alone Y/N’s replacement. It wasn’t long before she learnt to make blood capsules, using her gift of persuasion to find volunteer’s. Life was perfect, the nightmares of Y/N slightly lessened, that was till when you saw a face you least expected.

Vampires heard of Dalrae’s skills to collect blood, some vampires not wanting to feast on human life, yet not having restraint to not take life, came to purchase her blood capsules. You had brought a small bar on the outskirts of town, where you had settled down to a new sense of direction in life. You smelt him before you saw him, your body freezing when you took Juyeon in. Your body shook from anger at the sight, If their was anyone you blamed for Y/N’s death, it was him.

The many times he and Sangyeon sent you to watch what Younghoon was doing. The times you watched her, the way your heart vibrated when you saw her beauty. You knew in that second, why Younghoon couldn’t leave her behind. If he never planned to turn her, she would still be alive living a human life. If him and Sangyeon never sent you to see what Younghoon was doing, your heart wouldn’t be barely living and here he was near Dalrae.

You froze in a rush of confusion, you could smell Y/N on him, as if their was a tiny essence of her within him. Juyeon’s face fell noticing your presence as he twisted around to leave. You chased him but by the time you reached the streets of the dark night he had vanished. What was Juyeon doing there? Why did he have a scent of Y/N?

Juyeon’s appearance had restarted the nightmares. Each night you tried to save Y/N, but each night she died. You woke up to the comforting arms of Dalrae and her body lulling you back in the comfort of her arms, often confusing you for Y/N’s. You felt sad that often you allowed Y/N to replace her, in the desperate need to feel as if she was still there. You knew Dalrae knew of Y/N’s ghost and she never failed to be there despite knowing deep down who you had replaced her with.

You woke to her stroking your face as it looked at you worried following another nightmare. You clung to her arms, holding it to keep you grounded as your eyes struggled to remove Y/N’s broken face in your view.

You kissed her hoping that Dalrae would break through your glances, eyes closed tight as your lips took comfort in hers.

Her hands wrapped round your back bringing your body’s close together as you took comfort feeling her skin. Your arousal taking you as you needed to feel every inch of her. As you picked her up to straddle you, her lips found their way to your neck, her fangs brushing your skin. You jolted at the touch,“No don’t,” you said jolting her by her shoulders in fear. “Why?” She pouted looking adorable that you couldn’t help but smile in return, “Because it’s not safe,” you whispered. “Yes it is, Aera does it all the time with Minho,” she said in between small kisses along your jaw. “Dalrae it’s not always that safe,” you said closing your eyes as you enjoyed her lips on your face. “Please let me taste you,” she pleaded as her hands stroked down your chest, as she pushed her core down on to your growing arousal. “No,” you replied with your eyes shut but she ignored you, her fangs taking you by surprise as she bit into your flesh.

You broke the contact, looking at her in shock as she wiped the blood from her lips smearing it against her face. “Dalrae it’s not safe please don’t,” you cried, a few tears leaving your eyes. “Why because you sucked from her blood and almost died,” she spat out moving her body from yours in anger. You froze in that moment, totally unaware how she knew when you kept as much as possible from her about Y/N. “What,” you gasped. “You talk and cry in your sleep,” she said looking at you tears escaping her eyes. “Then you know why,” you said feeling a little sad. “But I’m not her, this isn’t the same situation, you drank from others and there alive, but I’m not them am I?” she cried.

She got her clothes and walked out the door and made her way out the bedroom. “I can’t do this any more,” she said as you followed. Your heart thumping at the thought of losing her, “What why?” you cried. “Because you turn and drink from any one at a moments notice but me it took you a year to turn me,” she said turning to you, tears falling. “I’ve had enough of not being good enough for you,” she said as she got herself dressed. “Good enough, your my world,” you replied holding her shoulders, but she brushed them off, heading for her bag to return to your bedroom. “Please stop,” you begged as she packed her clothes. “Why Eric so I can continue to be second best to a ghost, I don’t think so,” she said wiping her eyes, “Your not second best. Yes I will always love her, but you two are both different and important to me,” you said as she threw her clothes in her bag and turned to you stepping close that your face was inches away from each other. “If she came back tonight,” she started to say before you cut her off, “she won’t come back she’s dead.”

“If she came back, would you go back to her?” she asked you. Your heart froze you knew the answer, it stung and hurt. “That’s what I thought,” she said turning back to the closet.

In the fear of losing her you rushed to her, your fangs emerging into her skin as you drank from her coconut tasting blood. She relaxed into yours, as you drank from her. When your teeth left her skin, she turned to you smiling, her lip crashing into yours as she kissed you walking you back to the bed. You stumbled as you fell landing into a heaped mess, her giggling making you feel safe and secure. She showed her fangs, you tensed a little. she wasn’t a hybrid, neither was you, this would be ok. You let her teeth dig into your neck and you moaned as she suckled on your blood. You hadn’t let any one feast on you, but Juyeon when he turned you, but the thought of her drinking your essence in turned you on. Your hands removing her top, so she was topless in just a bra as her fangs returned to your neck, the stinging sensation alluring you further. Your member bulged and began to hurt, needing to feel her in every way.

Before you could go further, her lips left yours, her hands clasped around her mouth. “What’s Up did you bite yourself? you greedy little mare,” you chuckled as you sat up to take her hands from her mouth. But when you did she started choking as your heart raced. The acid smell attacking your nostrils, the smell your memory refused to let you forget, That you smelt from your own body when Y/N’s blood burned you from inside. “No, no,” you cried as her body went limp, her hand scraping at her chest as she silently cried, tears falling from her eyes, “no, no, not again,” you cried as you watched her skin grey and her body give up as her eyes closed.

Previous Chapter. Next Chapter

Masterlist

[mythiccheroacademia]

Delivery HCs with 1-A’s Big Three

A/N: Maybe I’m a bit biased because I want to be a pediatrician when I’m older, but I think children are the true gems of the world. I’ve seen a few deliveries in my life, and it’s a moment that not even magic can explain. I can only imagine what it’s like for the parents--to see the baby you’d start a war for if need be. So, here’s my attempt to translate that special love within a headcanon. 

Enjoy and continue to stay safe honey bunnies

Also, remember to thank a (good) mother for being literal superheroes once in awhile. Delivering is no joke!

Warnings: all the wonderful things that come with pushing a baby out of a 3-4in hole

All characters are aged 18+

Midoryia Izuku:

when you and your husband got to the hospital, the nurses were suprised to find you laughing and your husband muttering 

they soon came to find out he was reciting how to books about delivery

word-for-word

the buff, muscley, #1 hero who scared villains into a crime rate of 2% was wiggling his knees in fear every time you had a contraction

he was running around, calling his friends and family about how he was going to combust

asked you every five minutes if you were ready to push 

“izu, honey, i don’t think it works like that”

“true....but are you ready?”

it was funny

but it stopped being funny after 14 hours of labor, when the contractions got really bad

now you were just snapping at izuku to quiet down otherwise you’d united states smash his face in

him: 😧

the nurses: 👀

he knows you’re in pain but damn 

it’s a relief when you get the epidural 

after that, it was a relatively smooth birth 

it still hurt like hell, but your husband is holding your hand, giving you encouraging kisses

one final push and the baby is out

immediately, the little boy is screaming his head off making his presence known

you let your head fall back with a relieved sigh as your body works to get the placenta out

whiles you do tiny pushes, izuku is in a love-struck daze as he stares at your son

it’s like he has tunnel vision

suddenly, nothing in his life was ever more important than this tiny little human who couldn’t weigh more than his left hand

the nurses hand you your son and you laugh through your happy tears

“it looks like i’ve got two cry-babies to deal with now” you lovingly smile

izuku is on his knees, sobbing, kissing your forehead and rubbing his finger against his child’s cheek

he’s so thankful

he’s so very thankful, he doesn’t even know how to comprehend it

you’re the best hero in his eyes

“he’s so beautiful” he repeats, like a broken record

there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for you or his son

he silently makes an oath to do everything in his power to see his family smile with security every day

izuku feels like he finally knows what being #1 truly is

Bakugo Katsuki:

pregnancy wasn’t easy for you 

having twins wasn’t rare, but it made the process riskier

giving birth is still quite dangerous, like women are superheroes bruh

due to forseen complications, you were scheduled for a c-section 

unfortunately, you’re blood pressure sky-rocketed and you had to deliver your babies two weeks early

on the way to the hospital, your contractions were tearing you apart

during each shake and scream you gave, katsuki would hold your shoulder and let you dig your nails into his arms

he took it without complaint

it was like you were a different person when a contraction hit

you never complained about the pain, but he could tell you wanted it to end with how your head would fall like dead weight

never admits to the few tears that slipped past his cheeks

he never wanted to see you like this again 

when you make it to the hospital, they wheel you into the surgery room and he follows after

is relieved to see that you can no longer feel the contractions

in fact, even with all the IVs in you, you seem a lot better--more alert

he makes his way over to you 

“sorry for the car ride. i think i drooled. i probably looked gross. still do” you joke

he speaks in the softest voice you’ve ever heard, kiss your dry lips

“no baby, you look beauitful” 

and he means it

you do. you’re the most beautiful woman he knows

you feel a lot of pressure as they take the babies out, but once they do, the sounds of your children make you tear up

bakugo is frozen as he watches his babies, one boy one girl, get cleaned up

there’s a softness in the air as the nurses lay the boy on your chest and the girl in katsuki’s arms

your heart explodes with so much love that the heart monitor does a little jump that makes everyone laugh

but katsuki makes a pained expression before lowering himself so that his forehead rests beside your ear

he can’t tell what he’s feeling bc he’s felt love before but this was different

this was so overwhelming that it sent his knees buckling

you use your free hand to smooth down his hair as he cries 

“thank you” is all he’s able to say until the tears are gone

Todoroki Shouto:

when shouto looks back on one of the happiest days of his life, all he feels is shame and embarrassment 

he was just doing everything wrong that day

no thoughts, head empty

of course you had to go into labor the day he decided to take a tiny job 30 fucking minutes away from the hospital 

he made it to you in 20, he broke several laws to do it

when he gets to the hosptial, he can barely talk 

the nurses had to call you to make sure this crazy man was actually the father of your child

misses the baby floor twice

walks into the wrong room three times bc he forgot how to read

when he finally makes it to your room, he’s fed up with himself 

“what took you so long? the front desk called me, like, ten minutes ago”

“i don’t wanna talk about it”

“are you having an attitude with me right now? when i’m about to deliver your child?”

shouto: ☹️

shutting up was the smartest thing he did that day

when the 15th hour of labor hit and you were gripping your husband, screaming and rocking on your knees for any type of relief, todoroki was nearly begging you to take the drugs 

“sweetheart, please consider the epidural”

“no, shouto. i’m doing this without one”

“why do you want to suffer when technology and modern medicine--”

“todoroki shouto, you give me one more lesson about modern medicine and i’ll rip your quirk right out of you”

“i dont think that’s--”

the nurse finally chimes in: “sir, i mean this in the nicest way possible. shut up”

after 24 grueling hours, you’re pushing

it’s taking everything within shouto not to pass out from the blood, the screaming, and how tight you’re squeezing his hand 

the baby is out and crying her little head off

you’re happy it’s all over and shouto should be too

but he’s going over the past 48hrs and letting it confirm how he’s just not set up to be a father 

he’s almost grateful that you would hold her first bc he doesnt want to screw up more than he already has, but you have a different idea

understanding the emotions and self-doubt reflected on his face, you say 

“shouto, i want you to hold her first”

he’s shocked and starts his stuttering, but the nurse is already on it

“you heard mama, open your arms big guy”

once the nurse helps him find a good hold, todoroki doesnt even notice the tears falling down his cheeks

“look at you,” you sniff. “you’re a natural”

his eyes are wide with child-like wonder and he manages to give you a trembling smile 

“you think so?” you nod and he’s smiling so big, you wanna take a picture. “she’s so beautiful, just like her mother”

he leans down to kiss you 

wonders what he did in his past life to deserve the love he was given the chance to feel today

[lottiebagley]

Cardigan- Cedric Diggory

Vintage tee, brand new phone High heels on cobblestones When you are young, they assume you know nothing

She would never forget the very first time she spoke to Cedric Diggory. She had been sorted into Gryffindor and he had been sorted into Hufflepuff, they'd seen each other around and even shared some classes but it was February of first year by the time they ever actually spoke.

She was best friends with George Weasley, she spent every waking moment with the twins, Angelina and Lee. The whole year knew of the little group and how inseparable they truly were, they'd gained the reputation of being funny pranksters and seemed to light up every room they went in.

To Cedric though, it hadn't been the group that lit up the rooms, it had been her. Her bright smile, her loud laughter. There was something about her that Cedric found impossible to ignore and he loved it. He was in an internal battle, on one hand he desperately wanted to speak to her, to know her, to be the reason she was laughing. On the other he was an 11 year old with a crush and was nervous.

He had decided automatically he was glad to talk to her though.

It was Saturday morning and he had been minding his own business, walking through the corridors to go and meet some friends after having been up to library to finish an essay and she had ran straight into him.

"Sorry, oh my merlin, I am so sorry," She speaks quickly, bending down to pick up the papers that she had knocked from her hands

"It's no bother," He smiles politely, his stomach full of butterflies when her hand brushes his. "I'm-"

"Cedric, sorry I'm not a creep I swear, we are in the same Charms class, you sit behind me" She cuts him off, he blushes brightly at her even acknowledging his existence.

"And Herbology," He smiles

"I'm-"

"Y/N, I know," it's her turn to blush and Cedric can feel his heart flip in his chest, she opens her mouth to say something but is interrupted by loud footsteps sprinting towards them

"LET'S GO Y/N! FILCH IS COMING!" Cedric isn't sure which twin it is, but they grab her hand and continue running, the girl is quick to join in turning back to shout over her shoulder

"Sorry again Cedric!" she calls, he stands dumbstruck with a look of awe in his eyes as he listens to her laughter grow faint as she rounds the corner.

Sequin smile, black lipstick Sensual politics When you are young, they assume you know nothing

Cedric doesn't work up the courage to speak to his crush again for a while. She simply isn't interested. At 11 years old she cared more for having fun with her friends, by 12 she's beginning to notice boys and sure enough she realises the Hufflepuff boy is cute but thinks nothing of it. At 13 she gets her first boyfriend, he's a Ravenclaw and her best friend hates him.

Cedric has his first kiss, he has girls that admit to fancying him and a few even catch his eye. None last though, because for every time he sees them he also sees her. Smiling and laughing with her friends and looking utterly ethereal.

It's when they're 14 that they next speak. It's their fourth year and Cedric is on his way back from quidditch practice when he hears a faint crying coming from an empty class room.  Being kind to his very core he doesn't think twice about poking his head round the door to see if whoever is in there is okay. It's only the second day of the school year and he expects to find a scared first year.

His heart breaks though at the sight of her. She's crying into her hands and sniffling loudly, seeming to not even notice someone come in.

"Hi," he speaks gently, not wanting to startle her. She look up immediately and the sight twists the knife in his chest. Her eyes are puffy and red rimmed, her makeup streaking on her cheeks. She immediately pulls her hands to her face, trying to wipe her tears away with her hands.

"Hi Cedric," she tries to smile but it comes out more like a grimace

"Can I sit?" He questions softly, she nods and he sinks onto the floor next to her, his back against the wall.

"Sorry, I look all gross and snotty," she sighs, he chuckles a little

"You're beautiful," not one part of him is lying or trying to make her feel better. He truly believed her to be the most beautiful thing on the entire planet. "Do you want to talk about it?" he offers

"I-you- we don't know each other I'm not going to make you sit through all my problems,"

"Hey, I offered," He assures, gently placing a hand on her knee and giving it a little squeeze.

"You sure? it's a lot and-"

"I am certain,"

"My boyfriend, well I guess not anymore. He broke up with me because he started talking to Ella McKinley over summer and I really liked him and we've ben together for like seven months and I thought he liked me but obviously not and I can't even talk to my friends about it. Freddie and Lee would find the whole thing hysterical, not because they don't care, they just wouldn't get that it feels like I will never be good enough for anyone. Angelina is friends with Ella and I don't want to make things awkward for her. And Georgie, he's the best friend on the planet and he would do anything to make me happy but he was right the whole time and I can't bare the look of pity and he will just know that he was right but he won't say it because I am a pathetic, crying mess. Plus, Fred and George will go and try and fight him and everyone will talk about it and I just wish that I was enough cause I really liked him," She rants with tears streaming down her cheeks and Cedric wants nothing more than to take her pain and put in on himself a 1000 times before she ever has to feel it.

"Hey, you look at me," He prompts, gently moving her face from where she's staring at her lap to face him. "You are so much more than enough. You're beautiful, truly I mean that. And you are so funny and kind, I've never heard a soul speak badly of you, plus I'm in half your classes and you are at the top of all of them so clearly you are smart. Alex Mayfield is stupid for ever letting you go and I promise you he will regret it,"

She doesn't even think twice before diving into his chest to hug him, his heart warms in his chest as he holds her to him, stroking her back gently.

But I knew you Dancing in your Levi's Drunk under a streetlight, I

"Cedric?" Her voice sounds shy, three days later as she approaches his large friend group as they all laugh and chat in the courtyard. His friends all make loud 'oohs' at the girl approaching their friend, knowing he has had a crush on her forever.

He jumps to his feet immediately, only making his friends tease him more. "Hey, is everything alright?" He asks, it's been two days since he found her crying and he hadn't seen her around since.

"Yeah, yeah everything is fine. I just wanted to say thank you for the other day," She smiles gently and his heart melts that she had seeked him out rather than just saying it in whatever class they next saw each other.

"Oh of course, it was nothing," He smiles

"Well, i just, sorry that I cried all over you and- I- well it's embarrassing and you were so sweet so thanks," she blushes madly under his gaze

"It's fine, if ever I can do anything just let me know. Or if you need someone to talk to, I'm always around,"

"Thanks, and the same to you of course," She smiles and he nods. Neither of them can pull their eyes away from each other until Fred and George, who are waiting a small distance away let out loud barks of laughter at their friend's clear crush. "Right, well I should get going, have a good day," She smiles politely before turning around. He isn't quite sure what comes over him when he calls out to her

"Wait!" she turns immediately at his shout "You, uh, wouldn't want to be partners on that new Care of Magical Creatures assignment would you?" They had been assigned it on the first day, and it was a partnered essay and research task on Mooncalf's due in at the end of the month.

"Yeah I'd love that,"

"Great, I'll meet you in the library. Could you do tomorrow night right after classes finish?"

"Yeah, I'll see you there," She agrees, blushing slightly as she turns to walk back to the twins. Both Cedric and Emily's friends immediately begin to tease them but when she turns back to look at him and catches him already staring after her neither of them seem to care.

I knew you Hand under my sweatshirt Baby kiss it better, right

'You know, now that we have completed this ridiculously long essay we should celebrate. Hogsmeade? this Saturday?'

He had asked so casually, like it was easy. When in reality it had taken him a week to build up the nerve. She nodded, acting like her heart wasn't hammering inside her chest.

But now, as he waits at a table in the three broomsticks, he feels more anxious than he can even explain. She walks in, smiling brightly when she sees him, sat at a table with two butterbeers, and she seems so calm it puts his jittery leg at ease.

"Hey Ced,"

"Hi darling," He grins, watching her slide into the booth seat opposite him

"Am I late? Fred forced me to go to Zonko's with him, swore it'd only be two minutes but it was a lot longer," she explains

"No, I was early is all," He smiles, pushing the drink lightly in her direction

"Thanks," She grins, planning in her head to buy the next round. "So, good day so far?"

"Made better by you," he returns, he'd expected to feel awkward and nervous but in reality something about her felt so right, so natural.

"Well of course, clearly I am the highlight of your day every time you see me," She teases lightly

"Well I'm the same for you,"

"You are," She confirms. He beams at her and her heart somersaults in her chest. "How have we only just become friends this year?" She ponders

"I don't know, it feels like I have known you forever," He smiles

"Yeah it does. I guess that's just how it is with some people,"

"You know what they call those people? Soulmates," He teases and smiles a little when her cheeks flush a bright red

"If you are my soulmate Diggory, I could do a lot worse,". It was true, she felt like he could so easily be that one person she was supposed to meet. He was natural, he was charming, he was funny, he made her feel so at ease. She never had to be someone else, never had to think for a second about what she said. Cedric just got her and it was the best thing she had ever experienced.

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed You put me on and said I was your favourite

"Ced!" She's positively beaming as she stands on Hogsmeade platform after the Christmas holiday's. Pushing her way through the crowd towards the boy and leaping into his arms, he catches her with ease, rearranging his hands a little to hold her up better, her legs wrapping around his waist. His friends pay them no mind as they walk towards the carriages knowing they will see him at dinner and he would much rather have a minute alone with her.

"What're you doing here?" he chuckles

"I missed you," she shrugs

"I missed you too, but I could have just seen you at school, you didn't have to come and pick me up from the station," He smiles at her and she blushes a little. She had spent her holiday at school with the Weasley's as Molly and Arthur were in Bulgaria with Charlie and she hadn't wanted to miss out on her friends antics.

"Yeah, but if I had done that then I would have had to wait until after the welcome back feast and it would have been ages," She explains

"Well in that case, I'm glad you came. I really missed you darling," He smiles, gently placing her back onto the ground

"I missed you too, I was actually thinking a lot when you were gone-" she admits

"That's dangerous," he teases, laughing when she gently swats his arm

"I was thinking that I think I like you, as in more than a friend. No. I know, I like you as more than a friend and I have for a while now and I just wanted you to know that I do.  You don't have to like me back and if you don't then I don-"

She's cut off when he slams his lips against hers. Pulling her flush against him. He kisses her with so much passion and longing that she doesn't doubt for a second that he likes her just as much. He smirks when he pulls away and her lips chase his to press another quick peck to them.

"I like you too, I have for an embarrassingly long amount of time, I just didn't want to rush you after what happened with Alex,"

"You could never rush me, it's you," she smiles and he feels his heart leave his body and fall right into her hands.

"So, you wanna go on a real date?" he questions, wrapping his arm around her shoulder as he begins to lead her towards the carriages back up to school.

"I would love that," She grins

"In that case, I will pick up tomorrow at 8," He announces, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as they walk.

A friend to all is a friend to none Chase two girls, lose the one When you are young, they assume you know nothing

"I have just had the most awkward interaction of my life," She announces, walking into his dorm to find him sat at his desk. She drops onto his bed as he turns to look at her

"Hi darling," He smiles

"Hey," she grins back, eyes unable to pull away from his

"None of this romantic gooey shit, what happened?" Cedric's best friend, Justin, questions from his own desk. The pair clearly having been doing work before she arrived.

"Right," she nods, pulling her eyes away from Cedric as she tugs her Gryffindor tie off her neck and settles more comfortably on his bed. "So, i'm walking with George, Fred and Lee out of detention,  planning on coming here and they were heading into town to pick up some supplies from Zonko's so we are walking, minding our own business and then out of literally no where Alex pops out,"

"As in your ex-boyfriend?" Justin question, fully immersed in her story. She glances at Cedric who's jaw is a little tight, but softens when their eyes meet.

"Yeah so he comes over and asks to talk to me, and you can imagine Lee and Fred think it's fucking hilarious and George looks ready to pummel the boy, which is nothing new he's always hated him,"

"Likes me," Cedric comments slightly cockily, he knew from the off that it was important George liked him.

"He does. So anyway, I'm like Sorry I am in a rush to meet my boyfriend, which only seems to make him want to speak to me more. So he's all like how long have you and Cedric been together and I'm like officially 2 months. And he asks like a million questions about us and then tries to invite me to Hogsmeade and I was like obviously not, at this point George hits him and then we just kinda ran away. It was just very uncomfy and awkward,"

Cedric looks like he is absolutely fuming, Justin on the other hand is laughing at the awkward situation. Cedric is, of course, glad that she immediately told him but was ready to hunt the stupid boy down and finish what George started. He stands up to do just that but stops when she grabs his hand and pulls him to sit next to her, pressing a kiss to his cheek. He sighs, his thumb stroking the back of her hand, knowing that she's asking him to leave it be.

But I knew you Playing hide-and-seek and Giving me your weekends

"Hey, do you guys know where y/n is?" Cedric questions Angelina and Lee when he sees them sat in the library

"Thought she was with you," Angelina shrugs, looking to Lee who looks equally surprised to see Cedric without his girlfriend wrapped in his arm

"She was, we were playing hide and seek but it's been like forty minutes and I can't find her,"

"She'll be in the broom cupboard next to Filch's office. She always hides there when we play," Lee comments

"Great, thanks," with a grin Cedric disappears out of the library and in the direction of Filch's office. He sends polite smiles and waves to friends he passes but doesn't stop for a chat, missing his girl's presence and wanting her back by his side.

He arrives at the cupboard, pulling the door open and stepping in. It was a deep cupboard filled with clutter and her giggle sounds through the air when he trips on a bucket, hand reaching out from the darkness to steady him.

He  reaches out and pulls her into his chest, arms wrapping around her and pulling her into him.

"Found you,"

"Took your precious time," she smirks,

"It's a big castle," He reminds, pressing his lips down onto hers, she kisses back immediately, arms looping around his neck as his grip her waist, tucking slightly under the jumper she's wearing that clearly belongs to him and is too big for her, his thumb stroking gently on the skin of her hips.

She pulls away, breathless and grinning up at him and if he had thought he was in love before he was certain of it now. When she looked so pure, so beautiful, so ethereal how could he not be? the truth was he had been falling for her since first year but his five months with her made it all the more real. He wasn't just in love with an idealistic version of her he had made up in his head, it was the real her. The her that only he knew.

"Which of my friends told you?"

"You underestimate my seeking skills," He feigns offence, and she laughs at his dramatics

"It was Angelina right? The boys would never help you cheat,"

"It was. Now, given I've found you I think I am entitled to a reward, winners choice," He smirks and she grins brightly

"At what might that be?"

"Cuddles," He announces

"We need to study," she counters

"Nope, not on a weekend. Cuddle me in my dorm please. You can't say no, I found you," He grins, he knows though, that she wouldn't say no anyway.

I, I knew you Your heartbeat on the High Line Once in twenty lifetimes, I

They lay under the stars in the astronomy tower Cedric was certain that this, this very moment, was the highlight of his life. When all was said and done she would be it. She would be what made it all worth it.

"You okay?" She asks, nudging her head into his chest gently as she lay on him

"I'm perfect. Are you?" he questions, looking down at her laid on her front between his legs, arms wrapped around his waist and head on his chest

"I am," she grins, moving her head to rest her chin on his chest and look up at him "you're quiet," she comments

"I'm thinking," He returns gently, eyes holding hers and arms wrapping around her, holding her tightly too him

"and here I was thinking you were just a pretty boy," she teases, he laughs and she would swear on anything that lit up by the moonlight Cedric Diggory was a god amongst men. "So pretty boy, what are you thinking about?"

"You," he grins

"Nothing new," she jokes, he rolls his eyes but says nothing, after all she isn't wrong.

"Do you think everyone gets to feel like this?" he questions, she tilts her head to the side silently asking him to explain what he means. "I just- it sounds crazy but this feels so much bigger than just love. Like I can't even describe, it doesn't even feel once in a lifetime it feels once in a million lives. I can't put into words how I feel for you, I more than love you, I so much more than love you,"

"I so much more than love you too," She smiles, leaning up to press her lips against his, he kisses back and it's so soft and so gentle yet somehow needy and passionate all at once. Every kiss they share felt amazing but they would both swear that was the best.  "And no, I don't think everyone gets this, I think we are incredibly lucky to have found each other,"

He smiles pulling her closer to him pressing a kiss to the top of her head and his heart has never been more full.

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed You put me on and said I was your favourite

"So, tell me how your summer was?" She grins at him as they make their way down the train in search of her friend's compartment

"I was with you for most of it," He teases. They had spent the first two weeks at her house and then second two at his before she had gone to spend the final two at the burrow.

"I haven't seen you in 14 whole days Ced," she reminds

"My life is entirely boring without my favourite person," he smiles, chuckling at the blush that overtakes her cheeks. She presses a kiss to his cheek before pulling open the compartment door

"There they are, we were starting to think you were never coming," Angelina smiles, jumping up from her seat to pull her friend into a hug

"Sorry, we got caught up talking to Justin," The girl explains

"Ah, so that's what the kids are calling it," Fred jokes, laughing at the bright blush that over takes both of their faces. "Well, I was kidding but-"

"Shut up Fred!" She groans, dropping into a seat as Cedric settles down next to her, talking happily with George about their summer breaks.

To kiss in cars and downtown bars Was all we needed You drew stars around my scars But now I'm bleeding

Their fifth year passes insanely quickly. It's full of laughter and happiness. They don't have drama like most of their friends in relationships, they understand each other on such a level that truly there's no need to argue because no matter what the other does they understand. Understand exactly why the other has behaved in the way that they had so there was no point in getting mad.

From trips to Hogsmeade, parties, studying and evenings in the prefects bathroom they saw each other every day. Adopting each other's friends as their own. All they needed was each other and they were having a good time. They were connected at their very cores and the whole school seemed to know it.

"Okay, never have I ever lost my virginity in the prefects bathroom," Angelina smirks, the Gryffindor friends are sat around the boys dorms with bottles of fire whiskey on the final evening of term, joined as was common now, by Cedric and Justin.

Cedric sits next to her, his hand resting on her thigh and her head on his shoulder as they both blush a little before drinking.

"You told me it was in your dorm cause you were classy!" Lee exclaims, pointing at her with wide eyes.

"If you believed she was classy it's on you Lee," Fred teases, laughing loudly when she launches a pillow across the room and it hit's him with ease.

"Never have I ever said I love you just to get laid," Justin states, smirking when both Fred and Lee take sips of the drinks.

"Mum will be disappointed," George teases

"Would be, will makes it sound like you plan on telling her,"

"I'll have it up my sleeve for if I need to redirect the rath on someone else,"

"Hey, we always put it on Ron," Fred whines, the rest of the group laughing as they didn't doubt for a second that was true.

"Never have I ever skinny dipped in the black lake," George grins, the group erupting in laughter when Fred drinks

"Okay 1 it was a dare and 2 you aren't allowed to target people, in this game"

"Oh, because never have I ever accidentally grabbed the wrong person's hand wasn't targeted," George quips back.

'Cause I knew you Stepping on the last train Marked me like a bloodstain, I

"I just think that you're being stupid," she admits, she is sat cross legged on his bed as he paces his dorm

"This is something I really want to do, it means a lot to me. The money could really help my family out and I really think this is something I could excel in," Cedric explains, he isn't mad. He knew  that she was only concerned because she cared and therefore he would never be mad at her for it, he also knew she loved and supported him unconditionally and that wether she agrees with him or not that wouldn't waver.

"It's reckless Ced, people die in this tournament and I just hate the idea of you doing this cause all your friends have told you how cool it'll be and something happens to you,"

"Hey, nothing will happen to me. I'm not stupid and I know my own limits, you can pull out of any round at any time and if I think I can't do it I won't stay in a dangerous situation," he assures her, sitting down next to her and taking her hands in his.

"I know, I just want you safe,"

"Darling, you don't have to worry for a second. I promised you forever and I am going to give you it," he assures her, pulling her hands to his mouth and pressing kisses on her knuckles.

"Okay. If it means a lot to you then obviously I support you, just promise me you aren't going anywhere,"

"I promise," He agrees.

And so, with his friends behind them and wrapped up in his arms, his promise of forever fresh in her mind she goes with him to drop his name into the goblet of fire, pushing away the feeling in her gut that this was the worst mistake they'd ever make.

I knew you Tried to change the ending Peter losing Wendy

Cedric feels his breath stop when he sees her. She looks like an angel, standing at the top of the stairs beaming down at him. The pale blue satin of her dress pooling delicately around her feet and her hair curled and pinned back.

"You look so beautiful," he smiles as she reaches for his arm at the bottom of the stairs

"So do you," She smiles, and she meant it, in his black dress robes she wonders how she's supposed to breathe when he looks so good. "Ced?"

"Yes, darling?" he looks down at her as they stand in the line with the other victors. His smile so pure and delicate and a look of adoration in his eyes, not one person looking at them would question the love he held for her.

"These heels are really high, please don't let me trip and fall and make an idiot of myself,"

"I've got you darling, I promise," he smiles, pressing a kiss to the side of her head as the doors swing open and along with the rest of the victors and their dates they parade to the dance floor.

And he did have her. They danced and he made sure she was okay the whole time. They danced the whole night, wether the song was fast or slow, they were attached in someway and staring at each other so purely and utterly in love. It was the best night of either of their lives and although they didn't say it, both of them thought as they slow danced about the day they would get to do this at their wedding.

I, I knew you Leaving like a father Running like water, I When you are young, they assume you know nothing

Cedric is panting and red from the cold water as he collapses onto the platform, having pushed her onto it first. He feels for the first time since he saw her floating lifeless at the bottom of the lake that he can breathe again as he sees her appear fine.

He blocks out the screaming crowds, his victory although exciting, nowhere near as important to him as the girl.

She however, seems utterly over the moon, pouncing on him and tackling him on the pier in the tightest hug he'd ever received.

"You did it Ced! You won!" She grins brightly, he's vaguely aware of the twins wrapping them both in towels but doesn't care. Nothing else in the world matters as he grabs her face in his hands, pressing his lips to hers and the whole world floats away, and it's just her and him.

She pulls away eventually, seemingly remembering the crowd's of people watching, he doesn't care though, wrapping his arm around her as his friend's push through the crowds to congratulate him. He doesn't let go of his grip on her for even a second, he wanted her to be a part of this, without her he could never have won, seeing her lifeless and floating had triggered something in him he didn't even know existed. He'd have done whatever it took to save her.

but I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs The smell of smoke would hang around this long 'Cause I knew everything when I was young

The day of the last trial she woke up with a gut feeling something bad was going to happen. She said nothing though, not wanting to panic Cedric.

She woke up wrapped in his arms and she almost asked him to stay in bed for just five more minutes. Just to hold her for a little while longer, looking back she would always regret not asking for that. Instead, she had sat wrapped in his duvet, watching as he got ready and listening patiently as he spoke, muttering every spell he could think of in a mindless preparation, no idea what he would actually need when he started.

She sat next to him at breakfast, holding his hand under the table in an attempt to calm him down, he was trying to act confident for his excited friends but she saw right through it. She only left his side for a brief moment all morning, to wish Harry Potter, a young boy she knew well due to her close relationship with the Weasley's, good luck.

"You should go and meet your dad to walk to the victor's area," she speaks softly, they're in an empty corridor, wanting a moment of privacy.

"You'll be down there?" he questions

"Of course I will," she assures. He nods, wrapping his arms around her waist as hers wrap around his neck. He nestles his face in her as her fingers comb gently through his hair.

"I'm scared," he whispers

"I know," she replies gently, pulling away only enough to look him in the eyes "Whatever happens, wether you come first or drop out after a minute, I am so beyond proud of you Ced,"

"Thankyou," He hums gently

"You be safe alright, you promised me forever,"

"I never break my promises," he assures her, his lips find hers in a final passionate kiss.

"I so much more than love you," she whispers against him

"I so much more than love you," he returns, pressing a quick peck to her lips, squeezing her tight one last time before letting go.

She sits next to George, her leg bouncing and hands shaking as she leans on his shoulder. She watches as he talks to his dad. It feels like the world is going in slow motion as he stands outside the entrance to the maze, eyes scanning the crowd until they fall on her. She can see from a mile away that he seems to ease slightly at the sight of her, sending her a smile before turning and entering the maze.

I knew I'd curse you for the longest time Chasing shadows in the grocery line I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired And you'd be standing in my front porch light

She knew she would never forget the moment it happened. The pure joy and adrenaline, the excitement because he had won. Cedric had won. Followed by the panic, because he isn't moving and why isn't he moving? why is Harry crying and-

The world stopped. Right there. Right then. The world stops spinning on it's axis.

She would never forget the feeling of George's hands pulling her back and into his chest, refusing to let her turn and see it. See his limp body on the ground and lifeless. She'd never forget the sound of Amos's cries. She would never forget Harry's screams.

Her very world stopped.

She couldn't breathe. She couldn't move. She couldn't speak.

George Weasley would never forget the moment either. The ache in his chest that his friend had died. The sound of her sobs, so guttural and heart wrenching that they take over her whole body.  The feeling of his best friend shaking in his arms and the pained scream that leaves her mouth.

She was vaguely aware of the feeling of George lifting her off the ground and carrying her away from the crowds. Vaguely aware of him placing her on her bed. Without thinking she moved to grab one of Cedric's jumpers from her wardrobe, crying even harder when his smell takes over her as she pulls it on, dropping to her knees unable to even stand. George drops down next to her, pulling her into his chest in a tight hug as she cries into his chest.

And I knew you'd come back to me You'd come back to me And you'd come back to me And you'd come back

George Weasley had felt his heart drop when he had read the letter from his old head of house, a desperate plea to come to the school immediately and he had dropped everything to do just that.

His best friend was never the same after Cedric. Not even 10 years after at the age of 27. He wasn't who he used to be either, he had lost his second half. But he worried more for her. Her smile hadn't met her eyes since she was 17. He hadn't heard her laugh since she was 17.

Despite it all she never spoke to George, to anyone, about it. She left a room when he was mentioned. She refused to open up. It was clear even now he was the only thing she thought about. She refused though, to talk about him.

She hadn't dated again until she was 25, settling for a quiet boy who didn't get the chance to fall in love with her, because truly she wasn't her. She was numb, a shadow of herself and he didn't even know it.

As George pushed open the door to the prefects bathroom, he knew it would be another moment he would never forget. Like her scream, his Fred's body on the ground, like Angelina telling him we would be a father.

She was sat, fully clothed, in the large bubble bath. Silent tears streamed down her face and George could only describe the look on her face as numb.

"He proposed," She announces. George doesn't know how to react. He knew she would never fall in love again, that in reality she would never want this. Because it wasn't him.

"What did you say?"

"No," She whispers out, George lets out a sigh, he doesn't think twice as he climbs into the water next to her, ignoring that it's ruining his suit as he pulls her into him.

"George, I can't do this. He promised me forever, it was supposed to be him," She's crying into his shoulder and George knows nothing he says will take the pain away. "He was the love of my life. I didn't just love him, it was more than that. It wasn't once in a lifetime it was different it was special it was-" she cuts herself off, not knowing the words to describe it. She had never needed them before, Cedric had known without her having to say.

"I know. We all know. Everyone could see it,"

"I know what people must think. He was my high school boyfriend and I should move on but Georgie- I can't. It was him and it is him and he promised he would come back,"

"No one thinks that. You were young but the heavens know you were in love,"

"He was everything. He still is. He always will be,"

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed

You put me on and said I was your favourite

**

Masterlist

[intheticklecloset]

Just Get Me Out! (My Hero Academia)

Primary Universe

@lex-the-mockingbird​ I love writing lee Bakugou! And since no ler was specified for either prompt it was a good chance to combine the two while creating a cute one-on-one story between him and Mina! Enjoy, and thank you for the compliments! ^^

22. “I think I’m stuck…”

14. “Let’s count your ribs!”

34. “Stop! I don’t like giggling!”

You’ll notice for some of the numbered prompts I didn’t use the exact quote, but a variation thereof. This was to help prevent repetitiveness as well as maintain believable story flow. They’re still in the fic, just perhaps not word for word.

~

It wasn’t until after the buzzer had sounded and the dust had settled that they realized someone was missing.

“Where’s Bakugou?” Kirishima asked, and that put everyone on alert. The group of them looked around, but the fiery blonde was nowhere to be seen.

This had been a training session, at least; wherever he was, he had to be close by, and if he’d been seriously hurt someone would have put an end to the test by now.

“He can’t be too far,” Todoroki said, using his fiery side to help warm up his overused cold side. “He was right behind me during that last stretch.”

“Lots of buildings came down behind us,” Mina noted.

“Largely thanks to his own doing.”

“Let’s stay calm and split up to look for him,” Kiri suggested, pointing back the way they’d come. “He’ll be in that general area.”

The three of them assented, then each took a path backwards, retracing their steps. Mina deftly made her way through the rubble, more of it appearing the closer she got to the place where Bakugou had set off his quirk without warning, bringing a couple of structures down. She called his name once, twice, three times, and finally – on the fourth try – he answered.

“Over here!”

Mina quickly altered her path to follow his voice, stopping short when she finally caught sight of him. The lower half of him was trapped beneath the concrete remains of some nearby roads, and he was lying on his stomach with his head propped in his hands, looking incredibly annoyed.

She couldn’t help but laugh. “Bakugou?”

“Shut up,” he growled, sounding angry but resigned. “Just get me out.”

“You totally did this to yourself.”

“I know. Just get me out.”

“Can’t blast your way out of this one?” Mina teased as she neared him.

He scoffed. “Not without blasting myself in the process. I’m stuck, all right? Get me out already.”

“Okay, okay, no need to snap at me.” Mina chuckled, carefully stepping around him to grasp the first piece of concrete. But just as she was about to use her acid to disintegrate it, she suddenly realized what a great opportunity this was. She glanced down at Bakugou, who was stubbornly resisting wearing his winter gear even though it was still pretty chilly outside most days. He said he preferred the summer gear, and that left his underarms wide open. Especially when he was stuck.

“What are you doing?” he grumbled when he realized she wasn’t getting him out quickly enough. He tried to twist to look at her, but just as he moved he felt a finger swipe down his open underarm. “Gah!” Bakugou shot his arm down to his side and tried to roll over, but he couldn’t. “Don’t you dare!”

“Oh, come on, you did this to yourself.” Mina giggled, crouching beside him and scribbling her fingers lightly over his sides.

“Stop!” He clenched his fists and tried to swat at her, but he couldn’t hide the trembling smile on his face. “Mina! Just get me out!”

“I will,” she replied, “once I mess with you a little first.”

“Agh, Kirishima and Kaminari were right,” he growled, twisting as much as he could beneath the rubble. “You r-really are a cheheheater!”

“Ha! They’re just sorry they couldn’t take me down without their quirks.”

“Stop m-mahahahaking me giggle lihihike this, dahahahang it!” Bakugou snapped. She was digging into his sides – the lowest part of him she could reach before the rubble – and from his position on his stomach and unable to twist around at all, he couldn’t even bring his arms down to protect himself. All he could do was take it. “I hahahahate g-gigglihihing!”

“Aw, but why? It’s so cute~”

“It’s pathehehehetic and embahahaharassing!”

Mina sighed. “You’re too hard on yourself, you know that? Fine. If you’d rather laugh instead…” She started to move her fingers upward.

“Ah! No!” Bakugou grasped desperately at nothing, his giggles growing more frantic before she’d even reached the next spot. “Dohohohohohon’t!”

“Let’s count your ribs, shall we? It’s probably a good idea to make sure they’re all still there, what with that rubble falling on you and everything.”

“You lihihihihihittle—agh!” Bakugou bit hard on his lip, but his giggles kept flowing anyway, and he couldn’t hide his wide smile. “Nohohohohohoho!”

“One,” Mina began, pressing deep into his bottom rib. She grinned when he sputtered like a sprinkler system before laughing softly. She scratched the groove between ribs, then continued on. “Two.”

“Mihihihihihihihina!” Bakugou laughed, slapping his palm on the ground in front of him. “Stop, yohohohohou’re gonna d-drahahahaw attention to mehehehe like this!”

“I can’t help that you’re so ticklish,” she teased, moving up to the next set. “Three. Besides, you seem to be having fun.”

“I ahahaham not--!” He squealed when she vibrated her fingertips into his fourth rib. His cheeks and ears turned dark red. “Stohohohohohohop! Mina, lehehehehet me go!”

But on and on she went, climbing higher with each number, until she finally reached the last three sets.

“Ten.”

“Mihihihihihina, I swehehehehear on everythihihing, let me go! I d-dohohohohon’t want anyone ehehehehelse to find me like thihihihihihis!”

“Eleven. Aw, come on, we’re almost done. So far all your ribs are accounted for.”

“I knohohohow thehehey’re accounted fohohohor, you dohohohohon’t need to cohohohount them – Mina!”

“Twelve.” Mina grinned at how flustered and giggly she’d made her normally angry friend, the way he grasped at the air in front of him as if searching for a way out, the way he growled and cursed and threatened the entire time, but never really seemed to want it to stop. “And just for good measure, let’s make sure your sweet spot is still sweet.”

“No!” Bakugou cried, pulling his arms back down to try and protect himself again. He shook his head. “Mina, no, that’s not part of my ribcage! I’m gohohohohood, I prohohohomise!”

She laughed. “I’m not even there yet! I thought you didn’t like giggling?”

“I dohohohohon’t, it’s just reheheflex!”

“Uh-huh.” Mina pressed her fingers into that spot just above his ribs and below his underarms, kneading deeply.

Bakugou slapped his hands over his mouth to muffle his screech, but it did nothing to hinder the bursts of laughter that followed. “MINA STAHAHAHAHAHAHAP!! STOP, IT STIHIHIHIHIHILL TIHIHIHICKLES OKAY?! LET ME GOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!”

Mina sighed dramatically. “All right, I suppose I’ve had my fun.” Then she chuckled and grabbed onto the concrete again, melting it with her acid for real this time. “It’s so satisfying to hear you laugh like that.”

“Ugh.” Bakugou groaned into the ground. “Just get me out.”

Within a few minutes, Bakugou was back on his feet and following Mina to where the others had already regrouped. Kirishima took one look at his flushed, resigned face and Mina’s bouncier-than-usual step and smirked. “Rough day?”

“Shut up.” Bakugou crossed his arms. “Did we pass?”

“Yeah, we passed. We might get some points docked for excess damage, though, King Explosion Murder.”

“You call me that one more time,” Bakugou growled, “and I will personally end you.”

Kiri laughed, Mina winked, Bakugou grunted and shoved past them both, and Todoroki looked on in confusion as the three of them led the way out of the training arena.

The relationship Bakugou had with his closest friends was definitely an interesting one.

[heroofpenamstan]

—OC PROFILES: JOANNE & MICHAEL

tagged by the lovelies: @shallow-gravy​, @shellibisshe​, @belorage​, @honeysides​, @strafethesesinners​, @faithchel​, @blissfulalchemist​! thank you, dears! x since i’m tragically late to the party as per usual, not going to be tagging anyone since i assume most of my mutuals have done it, but if you want to go right ahead and tag me too so i can see! :”)) also, fair warning: 80% of the questions i answered at ungodly hours overmedicated on paracetamol and it shows because re-reading this in the morning was a Yikes

GENERAL

name: joanne burton alias(es): jo, annie ( mike exclusive ), burton, dep, jr. deputy, rook, traitor, sinner, wrath/pain in the ass ( john exclusive ), rabbit ( jacob exclusive ), heinous fucking bitch—( also john exclusive ), black widow ( new dawn au ) gender: cis. female age: 29 birth: 30th october, 1988 place of birth: meridian, idaho spoken languages: english; may or may not recite some hebrew lines over the holidays sexual preference: bisexual occupation(s): junior deputy of hope county, montana/menace to all cultists everywhere ( in a certain radius of said hope county, montana, anyway )

APPEARANCE

eye colour: brown hair colour: black height: 157cm ( 5′2 ), or approximately 7′11 when balancing on michael’s shoulders to peer inside john’s windows scars: split right eyebrow ( thanks, jake ), minor cuts and incorrectly healed bruises and gashes, scarred bullet wound on left hip ( you’re welcome, jake )

FAVOURITE

colour: orange or yellow or cyan, or whatever is more stupidly eye-catching and not at all fit for her current environment song: i’ve been thinking by handsome boy modeling school food: various stir-fries, fruits and protein ( or anything that she claims to be “healthy” when, truly, bitch is one step away from living off of instant noodles and canned pineapple and cigarette buds from dutch’s stash ) drink: beerherbal teas and infusions

HAVE THEY

passed university: no, but passing the police academy was already a pleasant enough surprise for her had sex: today? no. two weeks ago? probably had sex in public: probably said two weeks ago gotten pregnant/ someone else pregnant: yes, but we don’t talk about it kissed a boy: yes ( derogatory ) kissed a girl: yes ( affectionate ) gotten tattoos: yes, loads: most were practice scribbles for her ex-girlfriend, and the only true meaningful one she possesses is lydia, scrawled into her pinky in remembrance. otherwise, john seed do not even engage with that rusty ass tattoo gun— gotten piercings: yes, loads multiplied; if there’s a place for a piercing in her ears, she has them. also, an old septum piercing she hasn’t worn in a hot second been in love: yes, loads squared ( girl rents out her heart on the weekdays and cries about the scratches she notices on saturday, but still repeats it all over again come monday; falling in love for her is easy, but actually loving someone and getting over her self-loathing to do so is a whole different ball game ) stayed up for more than 24 hours: she’s probably on hour 31 as we speak ( someone knock her out pls )

ARE THEY

a virgin: whitehorse has heard enough horror stories in the break room between her and joey to last him a lifetime a cuddler: closeted cuddler, yes a kisser: most definitely; woman has to play up her natural assets scared easily: her response time is too lagged for that jealous easily: depends; she’s more jealous of what she should have/could have/would have had in a general sense than being jealous of a particular person or a thing trustworthy: in her own way, yes dominant: disgustingly so submissive: not in this lifetime in love: very much so single: very much so part 2

RANDOM QUESTIONS (tw for self harm/suicide mention)

have they harmed themselves: yes, but it’s more by means of unintentional yet severe substance abuse thought of suicide: not as often as one would assume; joanne has a very strong sense of self-preservation, but tends to run from her bleak reality by means of one harmful way or the other attempted suicide: once or twice during her lowest points in life wanted to kill someone: on the daily have/had a job: girl had juggled three part-time jobs; there is nothing she fears anymore have any fears: ( see above ) to fall back into old bad habits, loss of control, death, failure, a bad future, poverty, being abandoned and forgotten, long stays at a hospital, the judges, the bliss, the power of john’s hair gel

FAMILY

sibling(s): micah burton ( older brother ) parent(s): abigail burton née belman ( mother ); jim burton ( father ) children: asher seed ( daughter in new dawn au ) significant other: jacob seed ( circumstantial lover/”could do without” mentor/#prisonwife #prisonhusband #imkidding #kinda ) pets: boomer for the cuddles, cheesecake for the throttles ( bitch naturally attracts the judges but will forget her dog 101 and run away like what does she think will happen then?? )

GENERAL

name: michael scott-hughes alias(es): mike, mikey, mickey ( mary may exlusive ), mike the bike/fall’s end’s bicycle, resistance’s poster boy, manwhore, cassanova, the archangel ( joseph exclusive ), the antichrist ( also joseph exclusive ), war dog, hughes boy ( fairgrave exclusive ) gender: cis. male age: 30 birth: 6th july, 1988 place of birth: fall’s end, montana spoken languages: english, russian, basic chinese mandarin and turkish sexual preference: pansexual occupation(s): residential shady, shady man ( international arm’s dealer, most recently demoted to local resistance leader and occasional general goods store co-owner )

APPEARANCE

eye colour: green hair colour: brown height: 181cm ( 5′11 ), and 6ft on tinder jkjk man’s confident enough to not grasp for that extra inch, unlike someone ( john ) scars: heavily burnt left hand ( from trying to fish out his ex girlfriend’s boiling corpse r.i.p. to that steaming puss— ), gash on his right temple, nicely healed gun wound on left shoulder, not so nicely healed amputated right hand ( man’s not having the best time in my canon, is he ), various incorrectly healed cuts and bruises

FAVOURITE

colour: green and rustics song: wild world by yusuf/cat stevens food: unlike the faker above, michael actually likes to cook and eat healthy meals, so anything from salads to veggies to oatmeal to soups will do ( and meat; man’s been a vegetarian for a grand total of 4 days in his entire life ( or 14, if you count the time he got abducted to john’s bunker womp )) drink: sugary drinkswhiskey, fresh juices, “water can be so, so sexy, annie—”

HAVE THEY

passed university: no, though michael really busted his ass to self-educate on subjects that will be beneficial to his line of work had sex: we stopped keeping tabs and numbers nearly ten years ago had sex in public: we stopped blinking at these types of shenanigans nearly ten years ago too gotten pregnant/ someone else pregnant: yes? no? maybe? ( mike’s too afraid to even think about it, but hopes he hasn’t fathered any babies any time soon ) kissed a boy: yes ( affectionate ) kissed a girl: yes ( affectionate² ) gotten tattoos: yes: the sword of damocles on his left inner forearm, intertwined snakes running across his right ribs, a tiny smiley face on his ass lord save him gotten piercings: yes, and everyone hated his attempt to revive the 90s with his lil earring like c’mon you already have a reputation of being a sleaze— been in love: yes, but surprisingly not as many times as one may think ( truthfully, three times: mary may, lana, joanne mary may again ) stayed up for more than 24 hours: sometimes it just cannot be helped

ARE THEY

a virgin: maybe in a past life as an amoeba a cuddler: yes ( try to escape his hold during a summer night i’ll give you 5 bucks if you can break the deadlock ) a kisser: he just exists to smooch at this point scared easily: truthfully, he’s quite desensitized as is, so it’s really hard to truly rock him jealous easily: no; though he might get a bit petty and bitter if someone mentions merle and mary may becuase, like, c’mon, mary—merle briggs? trustworthy: one of his better traits, but past events have shown that boy tends to lose some of his morals for love dominant: yes submissive: yes part 2 man will accommodate and switch it up in love: often single: loosely, often

RANDOM QUESTIONS (tw for self harm/suicide mention)

have they harmed themselves: michael has bad mental health trips stemming from having a lot of insecurities as a child; these may evolve into bad habits and pure recklessness on his part to prove his worth thought of suicide: these thoughts don’t come often, but when they do, it’s harder for him than most to shake them off and recover attempted suicide: once, during the boiling pit incident wanted to kill someone: yes, but it comes more from need than want usually have/had a job: yes, though no retail until he was 30 and stuck providing hope county with slugs and bullets have any fears: loneliness, rejection, abandonment, repercussions and consequences, not being good enough, powerlessness, loss, the angel pit, the process of dying

FAMILY

sibling(s): none, but: jackson hughes ( uncle ) parent(s): jessica hughes née scott ( mother ), david hughes ( father ) girl i have his whole family tree drawn up like you wouldn’t believe children: andrew hughes ( son in new dawn au and maybe canon ) significant other: mary may fairgrave ( childhood sweetheart/awkward ex/once in a rare cosmic event fuck buddy/volatile lovers ) pets: peaches loves him she doesn’t; she just wants to chew on his hair

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Well I haven’t watched sp all the way through for about a decade now, so I thought it was time

Sometimes I wonder how accurate the fandom is when it comes to how we interpret the characters. Like, why is Stan a football star so often in fanfic and why’s Kyle always the smart one? So I thought I’d rewatch the show and make notes along the way to see where the source of all these interpretations is. I also wanted to see if I could get some fun info to analyze, but season 1 is pretty sparse in that regard so there’s not too much of that in this post, but I’ll make a post for all the other seasons too as I watch them

In summary, it’s established in season 1 already that Stan’s a star quarterback and an animal lover, Kyle’s an A+ student, and Kenny is poor and knows a lot about sex and doesn’t have many qualms about doing crazy shit. Cartman is a bit weird since he’s mostly just a naive brat in this season, but he and Kyle have a mildly antagonistic friendship already

I have all my notes under this cut. They include a bunch of small details and other observations. I also listed every Kenny death just because

Ike has freckles

Cartman says “Weak!” and “You guys” and “Seriously” a lot from the start, also “Kickass!” He doesn’t say weak or kickass much in the later seasons iirc

Stan says “Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here” three times in this season but they dropped that catchphrase pretty quickly

Bebe got named in episode 2

Stan’s been an animal lover since s01e03 Volcano since he won’t shoot a bunny or anything else. He does shoot Scuzzlebutt at the end though

Cartman’s a pathological liar but in a childish way

Randy got named in s01e03 Volcano (and it only got worse from there)

The mayor went to Princeton

South Park is next to Mt. Evanson

Kenny will literally drink gasoline

Stan’s a star quarterback in 3rd grade

Clyde’s voice is wrong as hell in S01E04 Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride and he has a dog, Rex

Garrison says Kyle is an A+ kid

Shelly seriously abuses Stan, punching him, throwing him, maiming him with a lawnmower

Cartman had a pot-bellied pig called Fluffy

Cartman’s mom smokes crack and has sex with strange men

Dr. Mephesto is probably a Buddhist since he says “Thank Buddha” instead of “Thank God”

Clyde’s voice gets kind of fixed in S01E06

A guy called Mr. McCormick is killed in a protest, launched and splattered against a network building. He doesn’t look like Kenny’s dad though

Zombie Clyde attacks Bebe, rude

Wendy gave her costume contest prize (2 tons of candy) to hungry children in Nairobi

Cartman’s mom is on the cover of Crack Whore magazine. “Back do’ ho… Five on one action!” is the headline

Cartman genuinely cries at Kenny’s grave after the whole zombie thing but gets over it because of candy

Stan knows his mom’s credit card number and has no problem using it to adopt an Ethiopian child (the boys wanted a watch that came with the adoption, they weren’t doing it to be nice)

Cartman calls Stan a vas deference, Stan doesn’t know what that is so Kenny says “Dude, it’s a pipe for your peepee” (according to a transcript). Kenny sure knows male anatomy

Kyle sniffs Kenny after Cartman asks why poor people smell like sour milk and Garrison says “idk eric they just do”

Cartman thinks poor people should die and decrease the surplus population

When the boys get Starvin’ Marvin delivered to them, Cartman says “Hey mom, we found an Ethiopian, can we keep him?” and his mom says “Sure, hun.” She rarely says no to Cartman

Kenny’s dad is an alcoholic who drinks scotch according to Cartman. I mean, Mr. McCormick is seen drinking in multiple episodes and has a hat that says SCOTCH so it’s probably true

Kenny’s family says grace

Craig’s first appearance is S01E09. Also, S01E09 is the first time Kenny doesn’t die (Coincidence? I THINK yeah but it’s still fun)

Clyde got named in S01E10

Clyde and Bebe both spit on Pip’s face, friendship goals <3

Cartman and Kyle have their first fight at Cartman’s birthday party because Kyle didn’t give the right gift. Cartman slaps his face and  screams “I hate you! I want you to die! Die!” while on top of Kyle who’s not really fighting back

Satan throws a fight with Jesus after everyone except Satan bet that Jesus would lose, which leads to Satan winning everyone’s money. Mr. Garrison says “What a mean thing to do!” and Jimbo says “He is a jerk!” and I thought it was quite a laugh so I wrote it down

In S01E11 Tom’s Rhinoplasty Bebe and Wendy are sitting in the swings together and generally appear together throughout the episode, then Bebe gives Wendy a makeover so they’re bffs obviously <3

Craig first appears in the classroom, though not sitting down, in S01E11

Wendy’s not happy about Ms. Ellen taking Stan away from her, she says “Don’t fuck with me! Stay away from my man, bitch, or I’ll whoop your sorry ho ass back to last year!”

Kenny gives Ms. Ellen a scrumptious looking sausage as a valentine’s gift and giggles deviously. Wendy’s gift to Ms. Ellen is a dead animal

Even Kenny doesn’t know what a lesbian is

Wendy’s grandma died in S01E11

Wendy gets Ms. Ellen killed by hiring the Iraqi government (?) to put her in a rocket and shoot it into the sun, then she and Bebe have a pool party (very cool, they wear sunglasses 😎) and watch the rocket hit the sun

Cartman and Pip play a game of kicking each other in the nuts until someone falls. Cartman calls it “Roshambo”

Kenny has a sack of marbles

The boys aren’t fans of Barbra Streisand, but Stan is a fan of the Denver Broncos quarterback John Elway (he’s not a quarterback anymore, he’s an American football executive and the president of football operations for the Denver Broncos of the NFL according to wikipedia.)

Officer Barbrady is a fan of Fiona Apple (who was 20 at the time and had only one album released called Tidal)

Ned knows how to pilot a helicopter

Kyle’s mom is a fan of Streisand unlike literally everyone else, she even gets an autograph from Mecha Streisand

The boys are fans of Robert Smith, the lead singer of The Cure. Stan says “Robert Smith is the greatest person that ever lived!” and Kyle says “Disintegration is the best album ever!” and Cartman says “Robert Smith kicks ass!” and Kenny’s dead so he doesn’t get to have an opinion

Cartman has tea parties with his toys: Polly Prissypants, Clyde frog, Peter Panda, and a dragon called Rumpertumskin

Kyle wants to make fun of Cartman for the tea party but Stan stops him because he’s concerned that Cartman needs help

Craig is in front of the school counselor’s office in S01E13

A young miss Cartman drinks like a motherfucker at the 12th annual drunken barn dance where Cartman was supposedly conceived

Stan lets Cartman borrow his bike like a good friend

Garrison wanted to have a threesome with Chef and Cartman’s mom. I don’t know why I’m making a note of this but uh… yeah.

Cartman’s mom has had sex with everyone at this bar that Garrison’s drinking at, including principle Victoria, the mayor, Father Maxi, and Jesus (and maybe Kenny’s dad since he’s at the bar but the camera doesn’t pan to him when Garrison says they’ve all slept with Liane). Later Gerald Broflovski is a possible father to Eric, so he fucked her too. Also Mr. Mephesto and his friend Kevin, that little guy, are candidates along with a lot of other people, including the 1989 Denver Broncos (and Mr. Tenorman is included in that later)

Cartman doesn’t make fun of Kyle for being Jewish much at all in this season even though the Christmas episode is all about Kyle not celebrating

Clyde and Token appear very early on and Clyde has always been in the classroom (along with Bebe, Red, Kevin Stoley, Wendy, and Pip and uhh DogPoo too I think). Craig appears later in the season and Tweek’s not in season 1 at all, so Craig’s gang isn’t really a thing yet

And here’s a list of the ways Kenny died in this season. He dies in every episode except episode 9, and he dies twice in episodes 2 and 3. Altogether he dies 14 times

S01E01 Killed after alien shoots him, cows stampede over him, then cop runs him over which finally actually kills him

S01E02 Killed in a play by a falling teepee, then a second time shot by Garrison which sends him in the air and he gets impaled on a flagpole on the way down

S01E03 Killed by a volcano rock that burns him then rolls on him but he’s alive again in the end but gets shot by Ned’s gun that he drops and it accidentally goes off

S01E04 Gets his arms and head torn off in an American football game

S01E05 Stan’s clone punches Kenny into a microwave where he gets cooked alive

S01E06 Death touches Kenny

S01E07 Kenny gets crushed by a Russian space station and turns into a zombie because he gets Worcestershire sauce in his veins, then Kyle chainsaws zombie Kenny in half, then zombie Kenny rises from his grave and is crushed by a statue and a plane

S01E08 Kenny is killed by a bunch of turkeys. His eye gets plucked out. It’s dark blue

S01E10 After Kenny gets turned into a duck-billed platypus, Jimbo and Ned shoot him

S01E11 Ms. Ellen throws a sword through Kenny’s face

S01E12 While Mecha Streisand and a giant robot Leonard Maltin fight, Kenny plays with a tetherball and gets the rope wrapped around his neck and it strangles him

S01E13 Kenny gets stuck on a go kart and it drags him around but stops and he’s still alive! Too bad the go kart stops on train tracks and a train runs him over. Stan’s grandpa sends a video of the event to America’s Stupidest Home Videos and wins $10,000

If you read all that, first of all hello. I’m not new to the fandom even though this is the first thing I’ve posted on this tumblr blog. I’ve been writing a fanfic called Caffetamine though so I’m not a complete non-entity. Anyway, I’ll watch season 2 soon and post my notes on that too probably.

[daaedoodles]

health vent

my body is choosing violence because i went out yesterday and walked around a mall for like a total of an hour 😋 i spent the rest of the time sitting inside the car while my mum and sister went to the shops

my head feels so so heavy and my legs and knees and ankles hurt particularly bad but my arms too, and lately my fingers and wrists and elbows. it feels like my muscles are crushing my bones 🤪 and my joints keep having this weird swelling and releasing pain and it’s so ‼️‼️‼️ my joints when i’m moving it standing or anything just feel like they’re fcking like grinding directly onto eachother like my cartilage just evacuated my body or something??? i ate food this morning, 20 minutes later i was dead tired again and fell asleep. i went downstairs for dinner and 5 steps up the stairs i was breathless and my heart was pounding in my chest so hard it was hurting, not to mention the pain got w o r s e 😋 also when i stood up to wash my hands after dinner there was this horrible pain in my knee and then it buckled, which lead to me exclaiming ow multiple times to no response from my family they didn’t even bat an eye 👍 i literally cannot get up to pee or wash my hands without my legs being super weak feeling like jelly underneath me.

cried like twice today and then got yelled at by my sister to just get up and open the blinds and get food myself, girlie i’m not even getting up to pee i am delaying that do you think i’d be feeding myself if you gave me that choice? no because that means i’m going downstairs, cooking food, eating the food, and then proceeding to get stuck downstairs because the post-eating fatigue will kick in, and i’ll somehow have to get myself upstairs or listen to her and my mother call a bunch of people and complain about my father while i’m lying there in excruciating pain so tired but unable to sleep because they’re too fucking loud‼️

my dad gave me strong as painkillers today and guess what ? they didn’t work !!! what a surprise

we are now, as of 3 hours and 44 minutes ago, on day 14 of this bullshit <3 will i ever return to normalcy? probably not!

i’ve resigned to the belief i have me/cfs and that one, way too tiring walk with my brother up the mountain threw me into a lovely downward spiral because there is NOTHING on the blood tests are out of the ordinary or indicate any of my symptoms, even prior to them worsening, were caused by anything hormonal or viral so 😃 literally everything is normal, except for my slightly elevated ANA and lymphocytes but that could be from just about anything, theres no inflammation, no indicators of muscle death, no more immunoglobulin anything, and based off my lovely lab ratting myself to a bunch of meds like antibiotics and anti inflammatories and painkillers? nothing has helped 😋 not to mention the orthostatic intolerance fits the bill too.

i should’ve known not to go on that walk already, i was already feeling the fatigue on and off (we love waking up some mornings feeling like you haven’t slept for days and being unable to keep your eyes open at all) and i was getting weak and tired after i ate but no, i was like “yas let’s go out on a walk” and me two weeks later is regretting all my life decisions

i am really fucking pissed at my mom too because for my sister she travelled across the entire world to like fucking 7 different countries to find out how to help her, but no, for me? she doesn’t even ask how i’m feeling or check up on me, just asks me to do this and do that and go downstairs and drink her stupid chinese herbal soup and open my windows to ‘air the house’ and go see her scammer chinese doctor twice a week, who by the way, is 100% a quack because i’ve gone to her like three times in the past for other issues without change, which means the only way she works is a placebo because my mum and sister believe in her, but my brother and i don’t and she couldn’t help us. the only reason she’s even remotely invested is because this is the perfect excuse for her to keep me out of school, but otherwise she gives no shits. shes not trying to get me a doctor so she can find a diagnosis, or so she can try to help or accomodate, no it’s so i can get a note from them that i am possibly chronically ill so i can be enrolled into some online health school <3