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#i’ll probably keep the fics up on my other blog bc i don’t want to ‘lose’ the interactions i had on those
the-travelling-witch · 11 months
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just fyi, for various reasons i’m considering moving my nsfw stuff onto this blog as well and leaving my nsfw blog to die hshsh
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crguang · 17 days
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I feel like there’s a lot of sacrificing for a joke in hsr, which is definitely annoying especially when it just…doesn’t make sense, tonally and just logically. And I really do wish we found out more abt the TB, and I would’ve like even like a tidbit from firefly since we talk to her sm, we even play as her at the end. Or maybe get an offhand mention abt how she’s not supposed to tell us bc of the script or smth . I def agree w you, I cannot take the ipc seriously, bc there’s all this stuff abt how they’re doing stuff for their own benefit and profit but idk the stuff w the stellaron hunters and them is just so goofy, like it doesn’t make any sense.
ok so, I was looking thru ur blog and I realized I sent a message abt two-ish weeks ago, tumblr probably ate it smh. I was just saying how it was silly that Kafka’s wanted poster literally says she likes coats on it, and her bounty, like that’s it. Shes so sjsjshbsbddbbewv. And I also came up with another fic idea, like Kafka in an idol/band AU, but also I think her being an actor w the other stellaron hunters would be funny. But yk if I ever get around to writing anything instead of Kafka just living in my brain, who would she be in a band with, I was think abt using some of the characters from the animated before the show starts thing, but the instruments just don’t go together. Also I think I need to work on writing Kafka in general, bc she’s so complicated and it’s fun but I also overthink things too much.
And the leaks were unfortunately right abt 4 characters on one side. I’m not as devastated as you ofc, but hopefully I win my 50/50. Hjskalskskskndn I will cry if I loose.
also, no need to apologize for ranting, your rants always make more sense than mine, and I really enjoy your thoughts. -🌠
i agree with you 100%!!! missed opportunity with firefly and the tb reconnecting it could have been so nice. and omg i think i read that ask, it sounds familiar but i have so many (most are really old reqs, the recent ones are the event reqs i keep to answer eventually) and sometimes things get lost or i’ll click on the notification, answer in my head, then go do something else and forget to actually post my reply, im sorry😭😭 but YES i was thinking of kafka’s description in the game and while i know its the objective writing of the game and not the ipc, i find it funny to believe that whoever was in charge of her wanted notice thought she was hot as fuck because “dashing” and “beauty” in the same sentence is crazy work. her bounty is even funnier bc im wondering how they found out that she loved coats like😭 did she steal a bunch (she did), are they rlly monitoring her credit card and seeing all the purchases of expensive coats, is she always found in a store— what is it?!
actor au stellaron hunters would be really fun… you could also just put then in a band together for the idol/band au because i do think they’re the people who understand her best. the thought of kafka and jingliu practicing together is so funny because jingliu would hate that woman like GDJFBFNG her arrogance would have liu clenching that instrument so tight
i dont think you should worry about overthinking when it comes to writing, it can be a weakness because then you focus too much on details and forget the big picture, but personally i also think j too much into things when i write characters like kafka especially. when every genuine emotion is in the twitch of a finger, there’s kinda no choice lol
“im not as devastated as you” is killing me but its true… im the biggest victim of this banner system bc if i dont get my swanie i’ll @)&$(&)@)£<£#%. i hope u win the 50/50, unless i lose mine in which case i hope everyone else also loses <3
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annas-arcade · 2 months
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⋆✴︎˚。⋆ pinned ⋆✴︎˚。⋆
yippeee it’s me anna this is my fnaf sideblog
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✰ all my basic info is on my main: @annabannnananana
✰ fnaf is taking over more and more of my brain space lately so i figured i’d just make a sideblog dedicated to it
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my fav fnaf things!!! ₊⊹
✰ characters (in this order):
✰ i have special emoji tags for each character, listed below!
✰ vanny/vanessa (🔪🐰/🔪👮‍♀️), roxanne wolf (⭐️🐺), the puppet (👻🖤), glamrock freddy (⚡️🧸), glitchtrap (👾🐰), the daycare attendant (🌗🎭), michael afton (💜🧟‍♂️), mangle (🎀🦊), toy bonnie (🎸🐰), lolbit (📺🦊), nightmare bonnie (🎃🐰)
✰ games (in this order):
✰ security breach/ruin, sister location, fnaf 4, fnaf 2, fnaf 1
✰ books:
✰ none bc imo the books are goofy ahh random shit scott pulled outta his ass, like they’re completely unrelated to the games the lore doesn’t even stack up at all- but anyways-
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what i do on this blog ₊⊹
✰ on this blog i write fnaf-related headcanons & fics! i also draw fnaf-related art!
✰ i do take requests for art and writing. see my request rules on my pinned post on my main <3
✰ i might post fnaf theories/analysis posts from time to time if i really want to (but i’ll probably mostly be too lazy for all that).
✰ there’ll probably just be a lot of reblogging of fnaf content i like. expect to have your dash flooded with reblogs of like, vanny fanart and stuff, every time i come online (which will be every 2 seconds because i’m chronically online. someone please help me).
✰ everything is very silly and lighthearted here (except when i post about some of the darker themes in the fnaf lore, which will be appropriately tagged as dark/triggering/etc) so please try to keep it that way and don’t bring unnecessary drama or negativity to this blog. thank you!
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small note ₊⊹
✰ i am aware dni lists are “pointless and annoying”, but it might get people to stay away from my blog(s). so please, if you’re reading this, try to stay away from my blog(s) if you fall under the basic dni (terf, racist, sexist, bigot, pedo, zoo, etc), support vanilliam (vanny/vanessa x william afton), or are a jk rowling supporter/apologist. thank you.
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my tags ₊⊹
✰ #.:🎩rambling about robots - my fnaf txt/talking tag
✰ #.:🎩silly robot writing - my fnaf writing
✰ #.:🎩silly robot arts - my fnaf art
✰ #.:🎩others doing stuff with robots - my fnaf reblog tag
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my pfp was drawn by the lovely wonderful artist @roxtron and the dividers on this post were made by @saradika-graphics !! ₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
and that’s all you need to know to navigate this blog! thanks for stopping by, come back anytime!
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kolsmikaelson · 1 year
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hey guys!! it's been a long few months that i've been gone (i can’t remember when exactly i started being inactive but that’s not the point) and i've been missing this hellsite so much in the time that i’ve been gone. there wasn’t ever really a reason for me going ia all of the sudden but what i do know is that my mental state definitely needed a longer break from here, and while i'm still not in the best place mentally i still wanted to hop back on here and give a bit of an update on my life and my blog and try to be a bit more active like i used to be.
writing and the future of this blog —
as i mentioned before, i haven't been in the best mental state lately but i’ve decided i want to try and come back here and start writing again! i love writing and i think getting back into it and getting into the groove of things here would help me out some. now with that being said, i’ll be going through who i write for and updating things, unfortunately this also means a new taglist most likely but if you’d rather i have a writing sideblog where i reblog all of my fics so if that’s more your thing go ahead and follow it @rodrickhefley !! i’ll still be writing for and posting about hockey so don’t worry about that, but i also want to try writing for other things (such as ted lasso, star wars, scream, avatar, hotd, etc.)  i have a few things up my sleeve at the moment but none are quite ready to see the light of day unfortunately. i’m hoping to gain some new, active mutuals from this as well :). i’m gonna be trying out some different formats for my fics so when there’s inconsistencies please ignore that! i’ll also be doing some social media aus / insta posts again!! with all of this being said, i've decided to either post all of the requests that are currently sitting in my inbox so that another writer can take over and write it or delete them all. i may or may not keep a few depending on if i feel inspired by them or not but we’ll see what i decide:) (poll maybe??)
personal life — 
my life has been an absolute rollercoaster of events since about mid april i’d say? ever since then i’ve been so incredibly busy and haven’t had a moment of peace honestly but now that i’ve got more time i’m back!!! i turned eighteen back in july, woohoo!! so i’ve been trying to figure out how to navigate life as a real adult now. it’s been going somewhat okay, i’m not in college at the moment (won’t dive too deep into this bc it’s so scary but i’ll have plenty of time to write fics so ;) ). part of my absence here was caused by the fact that i started getting really active on twitter, where i went through so much shit but also made a pretty good friend group!! a few days back i took a trip and saw arctic monkeys in concert (i had tickets for over a year and it was well worth it) . it was such a fantastic show!!! i’ve not got much of an update other than that so if you enjoyed my rambling and made it this far thank you sm. i’ve missed it here <3. 
also, not sure when this happened but thank you all sm for 1.8k followers?? that’s so crazy to me but it means so much <33
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since i'm not sure which of my moots are active anymore i’ll just tag who i can think of off the top of my head — @ilyasorokinn @2manytabsopen @ang3lik @angryblondechick @boqvistsbabe @timstuetzle @lavenderacademia @conniesanchor @stfukie @sunshinefarabees @hockstuff @typical-simplelove @dmonchld + i know i'm probably missing so many people but it's been so long i don't remember everybodys usernames anymore
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bxnnybimbeax · 8 months
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RULES!! ₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎
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A/N: Hello everyone!! Ray/Rae here, here are some of my rules atm, some stuff might change and update so just keep these in mind when interacting. Please note that I’m still trying to make my acc look all nice and decorated so if things get lost lmk and I’ll fix it!
REQUEST STATUS: OPEN! <3
Credits: @cafekitsune for the title divider(s)! Please let me know to take it down if I didn’t follow the rules correctly <3
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DNI if:
ྀི Minors & Ageless acc
ྀི Racists
ྀི Sexists
ྀི Pro-Shippers & Problematic Fandoms (Dream stans & stuff like that)
ྀི Zoophiles (not sorry)
ྀི Just be a decent human man
PLEASE NOTE: these aren’t hard things to do, and I’m not making complicated rules for my interactions
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WILL DO/REQUEST:
ྀི Smut of all kind, be as kinky as you want
ྀི Dark content/ Dead Dove Do Not Eat: Will always come with warnings
ྀི Angst: Might take me awhile bc I’m a sucker for happy endings
ྀི Fluff
ྀི AU’s ex: CEO, Rockstar, Idol, DILF/MILF, Hybrid (not furry), Royal, University, etc.. etc…
ྀི One Shots/ Mini series
ྀི Headcannons / Drabbles
ྀི Song Fics: Fanfics inspired by songs
ྀི Multiple love interests
ྀི Woman reader, G/N reader, Male reader +Male & G/N reader might take awhile simply due to me not having the experience of being G/N or a Man, this applies to the smut & fluff category. I probably won’t write full series about G/N & Male reader, but I’m okay with one shots
NOTE: This is literally a fan fic/ personal blog, if y’all don’t like what I write, feel free to block!
WONT DO/ DON’T REQUEST:
ྀི Furries, Race play, scat & vomit play (I don’t mind watersports & period stuff ig?), cannibalism (depends on context), necrophillia, amputation (I don’t understand this kink..), incest (step-cest is decent ig?), idk what else
ྀི Race coded reader that I’m not, mainly because I don’t wanna mess up and why would I write a “white” reader… Like most “y/n’s” are usually white..
(I’m Afro-Latina, and the reader is usually Black/Latina coded)
ྀི Write about real ppl + I will write about roles actors play, but I will not write about the person themselves.
ྀི Smut abt minor characters, I might consider fluff, and wholesome content but 100% NO SMUT
ྀི Won’t write abt series I haven’t seen, for the sake of messing up.
ྀི Might add more but this is all I can think of
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FANDOMS I WRITE FOR! (Will keep adding)
Anime: Tokyo Revengers, Attack on Titans, Nana, Jojos bizzare adventures, Baki the Grappler, Death Note, Vinland Saga, Jujitsu Kaisen, Demon Slayer, Initial D, Soul Eater, Kakeguri, Haikyuu, Black Butler, Cowboy Bebop, Naruto, The Disastrous life of Saiki K, Dragonball, Chainsawman, Great Pretender, Frut Basket, Devil Man Crybaby, Dororo, Dorohedoro, Super Crooks, Catlevania, Pokemon, Evangelion, Mov Psycho, Bleach, etc…
Shows: Blue Eye Samurai, Supernatural, The Boys, Good Girls, Never Have I Ever, On my Block, Baby, Invincible, Baby Reindeer, Lucifer, Arcane, Avatar the Last Air Bender, The Legend of Kora, etc
Movies: Some Marvel & DC Movies, kill bill, Avatar [I’ll say if I haven’t seen it]
Fast and Furious, ATSV, etc… (Kinda drawing a blank rn)
Others: Comics, DC, Kaiju Verse, Marvel, Junji Ito, Studio Ghilbi, Legends of Zelda, Resident Evil, Final Fantasy, Persona (idm video game characters if I played the game)
Request and I’ll let you know if I’ve seen it (whatever fandom you request), but for now that’s all I can think of
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A/N: I will be updating this when I can, so some of the rules/ fandoms may change. If you don’t agree with what I write, feel free to block!
Please Note: When you fill out requests and other stuff, be patient with me. I do this for free and to entertain, and I’m not getting paid to write, I also have a life outside of writing
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Reposts, Reblogs, & Any interactions are always appreciated! Feel free to msg me for questions!
-Ray <3
Updated: JAN 15, 2024
©bxnnybimbeax
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astrobei · 2 years
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Okayokay, here for the writers asks:
🙋🏻‍♀️ Do any irl people know that you write fanfic?
💞 Who is your comfort character? +
🤩 Who is your favourite character to write
🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?
omg hi soso !! thank u for including the questions so i don’t have to keep flipping back and forth between the ask post and this SKDKDJD OK LETS SEE
🙋‍♀️: HELL no omfg no they do not and we’re going to keep it that way !! i do have a couple friends that knew i used to ! back in like 2016 or so we would write fics for each other and it would be our little thing but as far as they know i’ve . stopped . LOL
💞: um i have too many to count but since this is a st blog i’m going to say probably will or robin ! idk robin is just so refreshing i remember loving her when s3 came out (i was just gay but i also love her) and there’s just something abt her personality that is so deeply personal to me (the neurodivergency?) idk i just want to put her in my pocket and give her a big hug! and also will obviously do i even have to say anything i feel like he’s everyone’s comfort character 😭 even though all he knows is sadness and heartbreak and pain and loss and basically everything But comfort . he’s just so <3
🤩: mike definitely mike! as u all have probably picked up LOL i just relate to mike a Lot and i find his inner monologue rly easy to write bc it’s very similar to my own/the way i think? and especially bc the last two seasons were largely will pov i love writing him bc it’s an excuse to get inside his head and put hie brain under a dissecting scope and poke at it with a stick! as for side characters, i really love writing lucas because he’s so fucking funny and wheelclair and byclair are so personal to meeeee ! and also willel in general. love love love i always get so carried away w their scenes oops
🌞: i think i answered this in another one but i’ll do it again since that probably got buried under my pile of asks since then shdjdjd i definitely write a lot more at night bc my brain just thinks better when it’s dark and quiet out ! but i do a lot of writing on the google docs app on my phone (way too much actually it’s not good for my thumbs) so i’ll jot some lines down or write a scene on the bus/in between classes/etc.! however lately i’ve also begun writing more in the afternoon on the weekends and stuff when i have time and doing sprinto on discord w my friends which is rly fun! so basically . all day all the time 😭
thank u sm for these they were so fun !! 💞
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hey friends!
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some of you have been following me for a while, some of you are new, welcome! i’m gonna go on a bit of a personal rant here so, feel free to read or not or just read the tldr.
cw/tw: mentions of separation, toxic relationships, moving towns, haven rambles about their personal life for a while, medical discussions, autoimmune disorders
tldr: life flipped me upside down and fucked me and that’s why i haven’t been posting or super active
i don’t often talk about personal stuff on here but figured i’d provide some context as to why everything’s a mess and i haven’t been writing/posting like i said i would, or like i used to.
back in january i split from my long term partner who’d i thought i would marry, right down to having matching tattoos, and calling him my husband on here often. to make a long story short; the relationship was very toxic. it wasn’t a healthy situation for me anymore, and im happy to be where i am now. luckily my name wasn’t on any paperwork for our apartment (since i live in BC Canada there’s something called “common law” if your names on paperwork), and i was able to get out of living there quite quickly and easily. i’ve traveled the country since then, got to see sleep token, made new friends, seen and done tons of new things, and feel truly blessed with the life i have now.
as some of you may know from my posts, i have been diagnosed with celiac disease, and im also in the process of being diagnosed with POTS, both of which can be super draining on my body and mental state. im trying really hard to push through and continue to move my body as much as possible to maintain my health. i’ve taken to bringing my ipad to the gym and reading fics on it while running on the treadmill, as apparently thats supposed to be good for me, the juries still out on that one.
i also graduated university during this time and will be starting my career in the fall! i’m hoping that having a proper work life balance will allow me to start publishing more on here and on ao3 like i’ve wanted to, and being a more active part in my fandoms.
i’m still a huge SW fan, even if my page has shifted more into the bad omens/sleep token genres. Star Wars is still very near and dear to my heart, but was something my partner and i watched together, hence the matching lightsaber tattoos, and can sometimes be a little hurtful sometimes. but alas, you will still see me reblogging SW content that i read on here, as a lot of my mutuals are from that fandom, and i love to support them.
i’ve got all sorts of stuff on this page, I will be going through and organizing it now that i have more time to make my page a little less confusing. i’ll be posting my current readings, fic recommendation lists and my own fics again in a masterlist either today or tomorrow, once i have the whole thing organized. i’ve been writing a ton to keep my mind off everything and as an outlet while dealing with my issues, and hopefully i’ll be able to edit and post some of those soon. for now, you’ll continue to see me reblogging art, fics and some other nonsense stuff about bad omens, sleep token, and whatever else i come across.
i’ll probably go back to posting some incorrect quotes as i come up with them, since that’s how i gained a lot of my traction. i’m also planning on starting up streaming on twitch again, so i’ll be posting a stream schedule once i get my room all set up for it!
anyways, if you made it this far, thanks for listening to my rambling. as always, if yall ever need anyone or are going through something similar to what i went through, please reach out, i’m always happy to talk about literally anything. this blog has always been my outlet and has been and always will be a safe space for everyone.
love always,
haven <3
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y2kuromi · 11 months
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⟢ ┈ ﹒ BEFORE YOU FOLLOW:
anyone is free to read and interact with my works but if you're -13 or 23+ please do not interact with me personally
i do not indulge in drama or discourse on my blog, i’m js here to be delulu about gojo !! if you do inform me about such things i'll deal with them how i see fit which is usually privately
i do not tolerate any negativity, however constructive criticism / feedback is always appreciated, but please be nice and respectful about it ˃̵ᴗ˂̵
you're more than welcome to hit up my inbox for interactions or any questions you have abt my fics !! i loveee receiving asks ‹3 .if you want to be mutuals feel free to ask cs i'd prob be too shy to ask first!!
i’m v v easy to talk to, feel free to ramble abt your day/interests or js have casual convos especially if we're mutuals (just pls don't trauma dump) ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶
i keyboard smash/type in caps, you’ll rarely see me cursing, but i do curse occasionally, quiet mutual but i still interact. ( socially awk :c ) sometimes inactive bc of school and stress :/
feel free to assign yourself a nickname, emoji, number, or whatever you’re comfortable with if you’d like to be one of my anons
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⟢ ┈ ﹒ DO NOT INTERACT:
if you fit the basic dni criteria, if you support racists or any problematic creators. you support israel. if you are a pro-shipper. if you write heavy dark content, nsfw (only) and you are a porn link poster or you abuse tags.
if you sexualise characters who are minors as in the age of under 18. or age minor characters up purely for smut i'm gonna block you. it's weird asf :c
if you write + reblog writers or fics romanticising things like incest, step-cest, r@pe, sexual assault, intense age gaps (pedophilia) or aging up minors like that just doesn’t fly with me
blank + ageless blogs, my blog is sfw and i’m a minor but still, i’m tryna curate my experience so please convince me you aren’t a bot
if you spam like, 5+ posts. i appreciate reblogs and comments sooo much!! they keep me motivated but spam liking gets me shadow banned which is totes not fun
i use the block button how i see fit. if you fit any of these i’m probably going to block you. but please don’t hate me >.<
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⟢ ┈ ﹒ WRITING & REQUEST RULES:
my blog is sfw ! the closest i’ll get is mildly suggestive. my blog is not spoiler free. spoiler warnings will be in the fic notes before hand or posts with spoilers will be tagged accordingly
please remember i’m a highschool student, so my posting schedule is extremely inconsistent.
i typically write for myself. so you'll see a ton of posts for my faves but i'm open to requests! i treat requests like suggestions, so please keep them short and sweet
if you send in a request through an ask, i'll answer it privately if possible or after i've finished writing and posting it. please be patient when sending in your request. if it's not posted within a couple months (6) i probably won't write it
i do write: fluff, angst, suggestive. my writing formats come in oneshots, mini series, series, drabbles and headcanons. this blog is mostly jjk-centred. however, i do write for blue lock and other animangas as well
most works are self-indulgent: meaning, they are either female centred or gender neutral. i tend to characterise my (y/n)s however no further descriptions are added (skin tone, body type etc.) unless i say so in the tags.
i do not write: nsfw, adultxminor. inc3st, stepc3st. yandere, mafia, gore, dark content, su1c1dal themes, abuse, mental illnesses , character x character, self harm, eating/mental disorders,abuse, & other sensitive content.
pretty please give credits if you take inspo from my works!! don’t plagiarize me or post my works on any other platforms
done reading my rules? get in lover ! we're going shopping ‹3
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ryndicate · 2 years
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꘏ General ꘏
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About
This blog (mainly) creates and also interacts with dark content. I place warnings for all my content, so proceed at your own risk.
we are very very multifandom here. i hyperfixate a lot, and my adhd is sitting proudly at the wheel. whatever character my brain chooses for the day is usually how it goes. characters I write for are linked in my masterlist even if I haven't put anything out for them yet. I add as I go
I’ll be real and say that I frequently dip away from tumblr for a couple days rather often; I have a low social battery that drains even when I’m shitposting to no one in particular. But I love to chat so don’t hesitate to send an ask, I’ll get back to them next time I’m online :)
DNI’s 
My content is not suited nor intended for minors. 18 and up please and thank you. If you don’t have an age marked somewhere visible I will block. “18+” “adult” “legal” etc are not acceptable and will result in a block.
Blank blogs annoy the piss out of me but I'm too lazy to block them all so just have an age listed okay.
do not interact with my content (reblogs especially) if your own blog rules are not 18+. If i see 17+ or similiar, that makes me uncomfortable.
no dc anti’s (if you know how to scroll past, this doesn't include you) hate will be ignored. if you don’t like my content, the stuff i reblog, or the things i say, just block me or unfollow. 
if you ask for part 2s. it’s a rude thing to do in general. 
Rules and Asks
I typically answer all my asks, I don't ignore people so if I'm taking awhile to respond it's either because i havent seen it or I'm thinking on a response. However, if I think an ask is worded in a way that would make others or myself uncomfortable, check my return to sender tag. I'll probably have made a post with a response without directly posting the ask itself.
I do need a listed age to feel comfortable responding! Please no trauma dumping. And I'm awful at writing comfort so pls no "what would Chara do" h/c situation asks 🥲 I'm bad at them. Awful. The result of my attempt would somehow make your day worse. For your own mental health just pls do not lol.
I'm down with being called bb/babes,girl by just about anyone. But bitch/bestie/love are reserved for mutuals and discord friends, those are very important terms of endearment for me and it feels off getting them from people I don't know.
If you send me compliments about my writing we’re valentines. this isn’t even my own rule, this is cosmic law. 
Writing Info
I write every day, but I write and post at my own pace, the pace my irl life allows. If something is listed in my wips, I’m working on it so please don’t demand content from me.
The stuff I write is usually explicit, and even when it’s not has mature, dark, or unsettling natures to it. Not every fic will include these topics but beware they may contain incest, a/b/o, monsterfucking, horror, yandere etc. Here’s a little link to give you an idea on more, listing them can get tedious so i keep it separate and update it as I go.
I don’t do requests (commissions aside) but if you want to tell me your thoughts on a character, or maybe put them in a messy little situation, it might spark something in my mind and a little something might come of it, you never know ;3
what do i not write... hm. scat. vore. the Obvious. Other than that this is a really tough Q bc my mood switches up a lot. Sometimes I go on a single trope spree, other days I will write criminal level fluff in one hour and shiver inducing dark alley shit in the next. I have so much range, please expect me to use it.
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meltwonu · 3 years
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✦ 👻  𝕸𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖍 SEASON 2 👻 ✦
↪ ✧ TEMPORARY ROMANCE ✧
this chapter pairing; werewolf!seungkwan x vampire!reader
genre&warnings; werewolf!au, vampire!au, dom!seungkwan, brat!reader, ‼️knotting‼️, dirty talk, degradation, sixty-nine, size kink, friendswithbenefits!au, impregnation/breeding kink, ‼️cumflation‼️.
notes; HAPPY THURSDAY!! 😈 If anyone remembers a long time ago on my blog, and by a long time I mean like, maybe over a year ago, I said I didn’t rly write werewolf/abo/wolf-hybrid au/fic bc I wasn’t too comfortable since I’d never really written anything for it… 😮‍💨 So I really busted ass on this so if it’s not up to par, please don’t let me know LMAO I was experimenting and trying to come out of my norms a little bit!! 😭💕I was really excited for this chapter honestly, hehe because of that 😗✌️ Enjoy ch 3 and I’ll see you in ch 4 🧙‍♀️ HEH have a good rest of your day! 💕🎃 
word count; ~3000
chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x
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i want you to get stuck in my head;
i hear you over and over again.
don't make things so serious;
i don't mind, we'll be fine after this.
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Seungkwan tells you again and again through the haze of alcohol and confidence - “I think you’d be so good at taking my knot.”
And you grimace in return, always - wondering why you even befriended him in the first place.
“Keep your weird alpha wolf things to yourself, Seungkwan.” You always reply back with a huff; breath shaky at the way he’d keep his eyes on you even after you reject him time and time again.
Tonight is no different as the two of you share a drink under the full moon; quietness taking over as the two of you sit and enjoy each others’ presence.
Except, it doesn’t last long as Seungkwan glances over to you - lips itching to say something when you put your bottle of liquor down.
“What if I liked you.”
“Huh?” You raise a brow at him, “How drunk are you, Seungkwan? That’s already skipping a lot of the weird drunk things you normally say after a few sips.”
He laughs back in return - eyes rolling before he takes a swig of his own bottle.
“Well, let me rephrase that, what if I wanted to fuck you really bad right now?”
You hum in response, taking in his words as your eyes flit over to the full moon looming over the two of you. “Is that some weird werewolf, full moon thing or just a Seungkwan thing?”
“I guess a little bit of both.”
Nodding, you set the bottle of liquor down next to yourself on the ground before laying down on the grass. “Wouldn’t we get in trouble for that?”
“What do you mean?”
“Jesus, Seungkwan, do you really think we’d get away with fucking each other and not getting each others’ scent on us? It’s probably bad enough that we hang out with each other - I get commented on how I always smell like wet dogs when I get back to the house.” Huffing, you cross your arms against your chest as you look at him leaning on his side next to you. “And don’t you… people, mate? Or something? Go get your rocks off with someone at your den or something.”
He sets his own bottle in the grass - uncaring as it tips over and spills into the dirt.
“Kinda hard to do that when I’m wondering if they’d be as good of a fuck as you.”
“Seungkwan… Are you okay? Be honest. You’re, like, skipping a lot of steps here.”
“Will you just admit you want to fuck me too? I could smell the way you were getting wet last time I told you how much I wanted to knot you.”
Oops.
You sit up as he leans in close to you - alcohol on his breath when his face is only centimetres from your own.
“Why didn’t you say anything about it last time then?” You whisper.
“Hah, and embarrass you like that? Anyone in a five mile radius could smell how badly you needed to be fucked.”
“Fuck you.”
“Well, on the contrary, that’s what I’m trying to do to you if you’d let me.”
You grit your teeth, “That’s not fair.”
“What isn’t fair?”
You push him until he’s laying on his back on the grass and you’re hovering above him; crimson eyes peering down at him as he stares up at you with an amused expression.
“Werewolf blood tastes disgusting so technically only you benefit from this, right? You get to do your weird sex, mating thing and I can’t even feed off of you.”
Seungkwan laughs loudly as you roll your eyes and lean away from him.
“That’s not true. You get a good fuck out of it, don’t you, baby? So let’s help each other out.”
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You’d met Seungkwan around the time you’d just been turned - meek persona making him immediately want to protect you despite the major differences the two of you shared.
‘You’re new to this and you don’t have any friends so I’ll help you,’ he’d said - chest puffed out in confidence as you’d glued yourself to his side.
He’d been right too; the vampire that’d turned you had skipped town and left you with no guidance and no idea how to fend for yourself.
And despite the differences, Seungkwan had been extremely knowledgeable and did his best to help you catch your bearings before you’d met other vampires that had kindly taken you under their wings.
“W-wait, Seungkwan…”
In present day, everything felt new again as he laid underneath you - propped up on his elbows as you knelt between his legs. “I--Are we sure about this?”
“I am if you are. But if you think this’ll change too much between us, we can stop and I won’t be upset.” He smiles up at you and you bite the inside of your cheek.
You wanted him too - even if you’d never admit it out loud to anyone.
“Gotta say though, babe, you’re really cute when you’re shy. It reminds me of when we first met all those years ago~”
“Okay, now you’re being an asshole.” You sigh dramatically as you reach for the waistband of his jeans. “Next time, you’re eating me out until I say it’s enough, got it?”
“Anything for you, baby.”
You undo the button and zipper, gulping when he helps you push down his jeans and boxer briefs.
“Holy shit.”
Your eyes widen as you stare at his thick cock - mouth watering at how big he was. “I--oh…”
“Cat got your tongue?”
“S-Seungkwan what… What if it d-doesn’t f-fit…” Panic starts to nibble at you as his cock curves against his abdomen and you can’t take your eyes off of his size. “I--um… I don’t k-know what to say… Hah--haha…”
You can’t help but imagine how he’d feel inside of you; subtly trying to rub your thighs together to alleviate some of the arousal in your body when you remember that Seungkwan can smell you anyway.
“Oh, it’ll fit. Your cute ‘lil pussy can take me, I’m sure~”
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You push all your shyness aside when Seungkwan offers to eat you out while you blow him - palms clammy as you get into position.
“Fuck, you’re so wet…” He mutters; hands on your ass as he spreads you open. “And you smell so fucking good…”
Seungkwan wastes no time as he slowly tugs you down towards his mouth - a shocked gasp leaving your lips when you feel his tongue gliding through your wet folds as he collects the wetness on the bed of his tongue.
“Mmh, o-okay…”
When you wrap a shy hand around his cock, you can’t help but whimper at the way you can’t even close your hand into a fist around his thick girth.
But you do you best to return the favor as you peek your tongue out - kitten licking the leaking tip as he groans against your wet skin. “Ngh, S--Seungkwan…” Muttering, you drag your tongue from the tip to the base, teasing him as he does the same to you.
You feel yourself getting more and more comfortable as the minutes pass so you take a deep breath before you’re wrapping your lips around the head of his cock - slowly sinking your mouth down around his length as you whimper.
“Fuck, b-baby…”
Your mouth is tight and warm around him as he pauses his movements to savour the feeling of finally getting to feel you - hips threatening to thrust up into your mouth as you get used to his size.
“Shit, if your pussy is as tight as your mouth, I might not be able to last long, baby…”
He gulps and brings his fingers to your cunt; dragging them through your wetness as you mewl and shake your hips above him.
Seungkwan collects your wetness on his fingers before he places his index and middle finger at your entrance - slowly sinking them in at the same time as you moan around his cock.
“Mmmnh…”
The two of you work in tandem; Seungkwan scissoring and curling his digits inside of you as you take more and more of his cock into your mouth until the head of it taps your gag reflex.
He thrusts up into your mouth as you whine and try to fuck yourself on his fingers - pleasure building up quickly when he curves his fingers right into your sweet spot.
“Fuck, can I just fuck you already, baby? Your mouth feels so fuckin’ good around me and your pussy is so fucking wet… Your body is begging me to breed it.”
Oh.
A shiver rolls down your spine as you pause and take in his words - your walls clamping down onto his fingers as he grins and immediately pulls his sticky digits from inside of you.
“Is that what got you? Me saying how I wanted to breed your pussy?” Seungkwan laughs as he goes in to lick your wetness off of his fingers, “I’ve thought about it so much, baby~ You know, you might’ve always thought that I was joking about knotting you but… Ah, you’d look so pretty while my cock swells in your pretty ‘lil cunt and my cum fills you up so much that you’re swollen with it~”
You pull off of his cock - lips chapped as a thread of precum connects your trembling lips to the head of his cock.
“M-more… T-tell me m-more…”
Your voice is hoarse as Seungkwan starts to maneuver you into a different position; body buzzing with newfound energy when he situates you on your hands and knees with your ass in the air.
“Mm, you think my cock is too big for you right now but… Well, I guess you’ll just find out, right, baby? Tell me, have you ever imagined how I’d feel inside of you?”
“I--h-have you thought about m-me?”
“All the time~” He grins at your back before he slightly pushes you upper half down - his shirt spread out underneath you the only thing separating you from the dewy grass.
“I, a-ah, m-maybe thought about it, ngh, a--a few times after we had drinks but, mmh, t-that’s it…”
“Oh? So all those times that I told you about how you’d be so good at taking my knot, you actually were thinking about it?” Seungkwan teases.
“Fuh--fuck, yes! Yes I did, okay?! Now can you just f-fuck me, please?!” You dig your hands into the fabric underneath you - mildly embarrassed that he’d been right all along.
“As you wish~”
You feel the head of his cock teasing your entrance as you hold your breath knowing that he was a lot bigger than anyone else you’d ever been with.
“Relax or else I’ll end up hurting you, baby~ Your pussy already felt so tight around my fingers so I know it’s going to be a tight squeeze~”
Taking a deep breath, you try to do as he says as you relax all your muscles but the second he starts to sink his cock into you - you can’t help but tense up at the way he immediately stretches out your pussy.
“O-oh, g-god, Seungkwan… Fuck, Seungkwan!”
He goes slow and lets you adjust before he continues to inch in little by little - soothing your lower back as he whispers soft praises.
“You’re doing so well, baby~ I don’t think all of my cock is going to fit inside… Your pussy can barely take me, I bet you can feel it in your stomach, hmm?”
You nod feverishly as you slowly start to work your hips back; subtly trying to fuck yourself on his cock once you get comfrotable.
“Ngh, you’re so--so deep inside of me… Mmnh, hurry, S-Seungkwan I--I need to be bred so badly…”
He grits his teeth as he fights the animalistic side of him that wants to pin you down and use your pussy to his liking.
“Don’t try me, baby.”
“Ah, but---but I want it…” You mewl - giving into the delirium but half blaming it on the full moon still high above the two of you. “D-don’t you want me s-swollen with your p-pups…?”
Seungkwan gives you a few more minutes of adjusting to his size before he’s starting a hasty pace; his thick cock stretching you and making you cry out in pleasured moans as you soak his length with your wetness.
“Fuck, every time I had to fuck someone during my heat, all I could think of was you,” He growls, “I couldn’t even give any of them my knot because I knew it wasn’t you.”
His hips piston into your ass as your body rocks forward with his powerful thrusts - mouth permanently agape as drool spills from your lips and onto the measly fabric underneath you.
“S-shit, oh my god, Seungkwan…! Please--please, I wanna, ah, f-feel all of you…”
He peers down at where the two of you are connected; licking his lips as he pauses for a second before he sinks in his entire length up to the base.
“How’s it feel knowing your tiny ‘lil cunt is stretched around my cock, huh? Nobody is ever going to fill you up just like I can~ Hah, there’s probably not even enough room for my cum anymore, baby~”
You clamp down onto him and start to work your hips back - trying to get him to resume his pace as you pant.
“I--fuck, I don’t c-care… You’re not--not moving fast enough, Seungkwan!”
He slaps your ass once as you whimper and arch your back; toes curling when he does exactly what you wanted all along.
“Don’t get bratty with me or else I won’t,” He growls, “Can you imagine? I’d leave you here with your pretty ass up in the air, pussy stretched wide but feeling so empty without me fucking it like the good ‘lil cocksleeve you are. And then you’d have to go home all alone… Probably try to get off by yourself, huh?”
“O--okay, okay!” Muttering, you do your best to keep the snarky comments to yourself as Seungkwan slowly starts to hasten his pace.
“You’re soaking my cock so much though, baby… Every time I pull out of you, it  gets wetter and wetter~
“Mmnh, you a-always talk about knotting me so--so fucking do it… I, a-ah, wanna feel it for m-myself…”
He licks his lips as he reaches a hand around your body - softly caressing your stomach as you bite your lip.
“You feel me pouding your cunt right here, don’t you? My cock is fucking you so deep and once I cum, you’re gonna be swollen with it - with my pups when I get you fucking pregnant.”
Seungkwan lets out a growl and starts to feel his cock throbbing after a few minutes and you feel yourself teetering on the edge of an orgasm yourself when he slides his hand from your stomach to your clit as you cry out.
“I want you to cum first though, baby… ‘Cause once I do, I know you’re gonna run that pretty ‘lil mouth of yours.” He retorts teasingly.
“F-fuck you… Ngh, fuck, p-play with my clit h-harder… I want it h-harder and f-faster…”
He pinches your clit as you mewl and arch your back; thighs trembling as your orgasm starts to crest.
“O-oh, Seungkwan…!”
It takes a few more quick snaps of his hips before the pleasure hits you hard - toes curling and walls fluttering around his cock as he bites his bottom lip and staves off his own pleasure to let you ride out your own.
“That’s right, baby… Get my cock nice ‘n wet before I give you want you really want and breed this filthy ‘lil cunt~”
His words sound fuzzy and faraway as you ride out your pleasure; Seungkwan still fucking you through it even when it starts to fizzle away.
Your body feels tired but you know you’re nowhere near done when you hear him growl - his grip on you tightening as he pinches your overly sensitive clit one last time before you feel his blunt fingernails digging into the skin of your waist.
“Now you’re gonna be a good ‘lil cocksleeve and take my knot.”
Whimpering, all you can do is nod back in return as you let Seungkwan chase his pleasure; already gasping when you start to feel it.
“O-oh my g-god…”
Your breath hitches when Seungkwan thrusts into you one final time before he starts to grind against your ass instead and you feel his cock throbbing before it starts to swell inside of you.
“Oh my--my god, oh my god…! Seungkwan!”
You all but tear into the fabric underneath you as he starts to unload his hot cum into your pussy - the sheer amount of it almost making you pass out as your body adjusts to accept it all.
“Fuh--fuck… you’re c-cumming so m-much inside of me…” You sob quietly; body buzzing as your stomach only swells more and more as Seungkwan continues to cum. “Ngh, a-ah, Seungkwan… H-holy s--shit, I--mmnh… I’m--I’m...”
The words die on your tongue as you try to catch your breath and adjust to the new feelings and sensations.
And Seungkwan grits his teeth as his cock continues to swell inside your cunt - stretching you to your limits as you do your best to take it all.
“Guess everyone is just gonna have to accept this relationship whether they like it or not, huh, baby? You’re gonna be smelling like me for weeks at this rate~ My cum is gonna be inside of this pretty ‘lil cunt for a while.”
He grins at your back as you whimper back in return - the thought of him actually impregnating you with his pups making you feel lightheaded.
“H-how m-much, ngh, m-more are you--you going to cum…?” Crying out, the urge to orgasm a second time making your teeth chatter as Seungkwan keeps your pussy plugged up with his knot.
“I’ve been saving it all up for you, baby~ I’m just going to keep cumming inside your pussy until I’m satisfied~” He chuckles darkly as he leans over your back; his warm chest meeting your back as you moan.
“Once I can tell you’re nice and bred and swollen with my pups, I’ll think about letting you cum again, okay? For now, let’s see how long you can last with my knot stretching you out just like this~”
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318 notes · View notes
oviids · 4 years
Note
pls share some of your spn fic recs 🥺🥺
ok, a few things first:
followers and mutuals who do not have supernatural brainworms, kindly avert your eyes
i don’t normally rec or even read much fanfic any more but this is a CRISIS ok (cont.)
there is so. much. content for deancas out there and i have incredibly high standards, several ancient ao3 bookmarks, can speedread, and want to spare you guys the experience of wading through it all.
i also have a section for spn femslash since I was pretty into that back in the day (sadly a lot less fan content for this :/)
I don’t really like au’s or pure smut (I honestly usually just skim or skip those scenes) so if you’re mainly looking for that kind of thing this probably won’t be very helpful to you. jsyk.
i’m not great at describing stuff but i’ll do my best, i’ll also try and add tw’s when neccesary.
i wil try and keep updating this with any other decent fics i find, feel free to rec stuff too since i’m like 7 years behind.(edit 1/25/21) this is getting looooong so i’m going to start making another list on my spn blog rather than update this one
(edit 1/3/21) since this has gotten pretty long i’ve added rating/approximate word counts and marked my particular favorites with an asterisk.
Dean/Cas fic:
So Says The Sword*** - explicit/85k. FUCK its good...au/time travel where dean is not pulled out of hell by cas and says yes to becoming the michael sword. honestly could serve as an alternative to actually watching the show, if you want to get into dean/cas without actually doing that to yourself.
Fata morgana.*  - teen/6k, pst s9 finale. very bela centric and i love it, she finds cas looking for dean in hell.
Redemption Road -misc/600+k. an incredibly long fic from a collaborative writing group back in the day. canon divergent from the end of s6 on, has a cool take on godstiel and the leviathans, as well as the lovecratian mythos connection. ngl when i reread it i only made it about 28% in but imo the casual reader can actually stop around there, the rest concerns a lovecraftian apocalypse that is still good (i think i don’t remember it very well) but not required to enjoy the first half. if you prefer i have an ebook version i can send you on gdrive.
Someone Who's Feeling For Me* - mature/45k, s12. they run into lisa braeden and dean thinks cas is into her while cas thinks dean still likes her. treats lisa way better than the show ever did and the miscommunication is pretty funny rather than annoying.
a turn of the earth - mature/95k. time travel fic where cas from s10 keeps showing up in deans life from a few years before s1 to right before the hellhounds take his soul.  slow burn, good character study, and at one point cas punches the dad in the face and it rules.
On the Wings of War - teen/85k, canon divergent s5. dean accidentally becomes the Horseman of War. plays fun, fast and loose with biblical lore, michael has some rights.
Named - mature/95k, alternate s5. EXTREMELY blasphemous in a fun sexy way. manages to predict metatron almost to a T. there’s one major character death and its literally jesus christ, everyone is very sad about it and it sets the rest of the story rolling. an alternate interpretation of cas’ mission to raise dean from hell which had me on the floor. ngl its kind of misogynistic at points, but its from 2010 and tracks with late oughts-2010 spn (sorry anna the author did you dirty here:/).
The Girlfriend Experience - explicit/15k. uhhh i don’t normally rec or even read smutty stuff unless someone i know is specifically asking for it but this has stuff like sam trying to be a good ally and dean thinking holding hands with cas is ‘kinda gay :/’ minutes after having gay sex with him.
i crippled your heart a hundred times - explicit/19k, s8. cas confesses his feelings and dean spends a long time getting his head out of his ass about it. truly hits different after the actual confession, despite being written six years early it feels like its actually what could have gone down more or less if the writers weren’t talentless demons who hate us.
My Roots Take Flight** - mature/125k. reverse au where cas is a hunter and dean’s an angel...OR IS IT???? an alternate retelling of s4. tw for briefly being set in a psychiatric hospital/the hospital being mentioned somewhat frequently throughout the fic, plus more references to torture in hell and heaven than usual.
The One Thing You Can't Lose* - teen/4k.you know those posts about how cas is a super-strong super-tough ancient warrior but he just lets dean tug him around because he likes it? thats it thats the fic.
Hands, From Which All Things Are Built - teen/14k, post s8′s ‘goodbye stranger.’ cas is on the run with the angel tablet but keeps in touch with sam and dean by text, he and dean still manage to be terrible at Actual communication.
Autrement, Danger - or, The Account of an Exceedingly Long Day - mature/30k, post s11. a monster that takes the appearance of your soulmate leads to some wild miscommunications and dealing with years of repression, also dean gets to see cas’ true form which is always cool. tw for non-graphic mentions of underage sexual assault/sex work.
Down to Agincourt - mature/explicit/900++++k, endverse continuation. endverse!cas survives his encounter with lucifer and discovers another time-displaced dean from s7. i’ve only read the two of four parts but its really good, veeeeery slow burn, has a lot of fun oc’s and takes a rather surprising but (imo) entertaining and intriguing turn into Hellenic history and mythology. usual tw’s for endverse/endverse!cas but nothing graphic, it’s actually pretty light-hearted (relatively speaking of course).
Nothing Equals the Splendor** - explicit/8k, THEE finale fix it fic you’ve been waiting for! posits that the entire final episode was just a (very bad and lame) djinn’s vision.
like moses and batman and james dean - explicit/31k, post s8. explores dean’s trauma and internalized homophoba from his technically canon experience with sex work and its impact on his relationship with cas. the sex work itself isn’t really shown in any detail but it’s still a relatively heavy fic.
Crazy Diamonds - explicit/25k, s4/alternate s14. fresh-out-of-hell dean and dean from 10 years in the future are displaced from time and sent to each other’s present.
where the weeds take root - explicit/30k. au where the men of letters kick them out of the bunker and they accidentally move out into the country, get over their codependence and semi retire. featuring chicken coop building, sam volunteering at a dog shelter, gardening, and blissfully mundane domesticity.
No Resting Place - teen/6k. djinn dream fic, switches back and forth between cas’ dream of being married to dean and retired from hunting to the aftermath when he wakes up. tw for brief mention of suicide since, y’know, djinn dream.
any port in a storm - mature/52k. post s8 finale. cas and dean have to pose as a couple going through a rough patch for a case and actually deal with their emotional baggage, cas struggles with being human and metatron is up to stuff.
all this and heaven too* - explicit/7k. in the author’s own words ‘...a love letter to every trans person who ever projected onto Dean Winchester.’ absolutely unzipped me emotionally and theologically, its just. so good. tw for very brief mentions of internalized transphobia/dysphoria.
Because it is* - mature/6k, finale fix it. killing chuck does not bring back anyone back and the winchesters spend a very long time dealing with what they’ve lost, cas and dean SOMEHOW still manage to have signifigant communication issues even after the confession. tw for suicidal thoughts/brief attempt.
Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit* - teen/4k, s6. when cas fell for dean it automatically soulbonded/angel married them, shenanigans ensue when dean finds out during the angel’s civil war. funny and actually written back when s6 was airing so cas is still (or at least pretending to be) kind of an OP asshole which is fun.
Rinse, Repeat - teen/3k, s8. angsty character study of cas as he’s reprogrammed and trained to kill dean. not really dean/cas since its just cas’ pov of canon events but its beautifully written and ends with him snapping out of it through the power of love (also now a canon event!).
Emergence - explicit/59k, canon divergent after s11. dean meets a hunter he only recognizes as their friend claire novak’s missing father, but soon realizes he might be the answer behind the mysterious void in his memories and feelings (aka everyone’s memories of cas are completely wiped away for three years).
Cuckoo And Nest - explicit/10k, early established relationship/character study, cas tries to figure out how he fits into dean’s life and space in the bunker.
Build a Home* - teen/20k, canon divergent s12. sam and eileen are cute and turn the bunker into men of letters/hunters hq and everyone but cas moves in, mutual miscommunication issues and pining ensues.
Down in the River - teen/5k, early s8, cas prays to dean in purgatory while sam and dean try to figure out a way to get him out.
Teaching Poetry to Fish* - mature/52k, ?? BC through the entire series/canon divergent s14 and 15. retelling of crucial scenes throughout the shows timeline from cas’ pov, feat. actual fish and poetry.
the minor fall, the major lift - gen/4k, post confession/finale fixit. dean goes into the empty to save cas and runs into several old friends (and enemies).
With the Kisses of His Mouth* - teen/3k, gen later seasons. dean and cas keep kissing by accident.
Remaining Grace - explicit/109k, alternate s6. au where cas asks dean for help with raphael and dean, of course, does. tw for temporary major character death/semi-graphic depictions of alcohol withdrawal.
The face of heaven.* - teen/10k, au, dean is a regular guy and cas is a fallen star (think ‘stardust’, kinda).
Stories Are Made of Mistakes*  - teen/5k. newly human cas has trouble getting used to a human body and humanity in general, but still figures out that he and dean are A Thing before dean does.
Hurry Up And Wait - mature/21k, canon divergent s12. a fairyland and quite possibly LOTR related case comes up and dean goes full fanboy, mary is introduced to the wonders of the peter jackson adaptions, many references and comparisons (including between cas and dean’s ‘friendship’ and arwen/aragon). also charle is still alive and has just been doing fairy stuff this whole time.
There Are Many Things - explicit/28k, s9. cas is extremely lonely/touch-starved and trying to figure out this whole human thing, as well as where he and dean stand after being kicked out of the bunker.
It's A Long Life to Always Be Longing - teen/40k, post s11 finale. amara helps dean by putting him in a magical coma so he can finally get some much needed rest and show him possible futures for him, sam and cas. meanwhile sam and cas go on a roadtrip (or several) to find componets for a spell to wake dean up. really good sam and cas friendship, they actually talk about their shared lucifer trauma and stuff.
Non-Photo Blue - gen/2k, s4/5/alternate s5. fifty moments from cas’ memories of dean.
Tall Grass - explicit/57k, canon divergent post series. cas becomes the ultimate plant dad. feat the wayward sisters gang, cathartic character growth, fun oc’s, domesticity, and lots of actual botanical info-dumping.
on vessels - no rating/gen/2k. established dean/cas, cas tells dean about how he used to imagine what it would be like to have him as his vessel.
search for tomorrow on every shore* - teen/11k, post-finale (extremely derogatory). some angels in jack’s new heaven act out and dean gets temporarily resurrected in 2003 and runs into his younger self.
Architecture of the Minotaur’s Heart - explicit/45k, very canon divergent post s1. dean’s new house seems to have a life and mind of its own, while in his dreams he sees glimpses of a world and apocalypse that never came to be and an angel that looks strangely like his mysterious neighbor, cas. loosely inspired by the book house of leaves (which i highly recommend for fans of weird horror).
The Distance Of The Setting Sun - explicit/17k, post s5. established dean/cas relationship, team free will finally takes advantage of cas’ abilities to go on vacation around the world.
diamond star halo - teen/5k, s11. dean lets cas use him as a temporary vessel while he recovers from rowena’s spell, sam is a long-suffering third-wheel.
Make Known** - teen/16k, s6/7. dean struggles to understand how cas could have become his enemy and whether he ever truly knew him in the first place.
blunt little instrument* - mature/1.4k, post finale. dean finally confronts his father in heaven, very cathartic.
my heart a compass*** - teen/10k, post confession. the empty forces cas to re-experience his most regretted moments while dean tries to snap him out of it and bring him home.
A Crash Course in Someone Else's History - teen/11k, s6. cas from the very start of s4 is brought forward in time by s6!cas to distract the brothers from his and crowley’s plans.
The Cuckoo Father - mature/8k, s7 au. the woman who found cas in the river post-leviathans does not marry him bc he was sent to her by god or whatever, but actually identifies him as jimmy novak and sends him back to claire and amelia.
The Dead Dean Clause* - teen/5k, post alt s5 ending. team free will celebrates surviving taking down lucifer by getting blitzed, cas lies to a cop and gets an impromptu driving lesson. title/description sound dark i know but it’s actually very funny and light.
Suck It, Judy Garland - mature/20k, s12 (after the ‘i love you...i love all of you’ episode). cas and sam have to pretend to be a couple for a case and dean is NOT happy about it.
By Daylight and In Dream - teen/16k, s5. pre-dean/cas, dean invites cas to use his dreams to hide from the other angels. tw for very brief mention of a memory/dream of alastair sexually assaulting dean.
The Five People You Meet in Heaven - mature/22k, post-canon. an actually happy (if sometimes bittersweet) heaven endgame written several years ago, though some details are rather eerily similar to the show’s ending.
heaven is a place on earth* - teen/2k. dean’s pov of some of the times cas left him behind throughout the show, and one alternate ending where he finally gets to stay.
I Cleanse The Mirror - teen/20k, alternate s6. dean’s body is stolen by an ancient elemental and his soul has to hitch a ride in cas’ vessel.
an exploration of gender; angelic*** - mature/4k. *oscar isaac voice* lets get into angel gender politics!! aka cas is trans.
Zenith - explicit/33k, s9. after 9x06 an angry witch curses cas with the ability to see supernatural beings and human souls.
La cucina. - gen/3k, alt s9. dean goes wild helping a newly-human cas find out what kinds of food he likes, or the early s9 domesticity we deserved!
Dean Winchester, Cocksucker at Rest***** - teen/7k, post-finale. john and mary finally come over for dinner and john reacts to dean/cas in a rather predictable fashion. SOOOOOOOOO good omg, its so funny and a little sad and very very cathartic. part of a series that has a few other really good short fics.
The Way You Didn't Go - teen/5k, s15. coda to 15.09, dean has nightmares about the moc!cas timeline.
On Drowning - teen/28k. dean saves cas after he nearly drowns, they both try and deal with the physical/mental fallout (aka the fic where thee iconic “you only touch me when you think I’m dead or dying” originates). tw for realistic depictions of drowning/triage/misc medical information.
The Thirty-Six Questions That Lead to Love* - mature/13k. claire has dean and cas pretend to be her gay dads for a case and they play the titular 36 question game, get mistaken for swingers, and birdwatch, among other things.
Assorted F/F stuff:
Deep Breaths* - mary/ellen, au where mary said no to azazel’s deal and let john stay dead, still becomes a milf.
Like Rebel Diamonds - krissy/claire, they become hunter gf’s on the hunt for cas to kick his ass for taking jimmy. not-so-stealth dean/cas as well.
To Ash and Bone - anna/ruby, same author as the previous fic (p much all of her stuff is good from what i recall). au where ruby is a witch and helps anna when she’s cursed.
Holy Clockwork Angels - jo/ruby, STEAMPUNK au with very cool worldbuiilding.
At Day's End - jo/anna (my fucking KINGDOM for more jo/anna content, the dean/cas parallels are allllll there), au where they are both at the camp in the endverse and gfs.
these posts - ok so not actually a fic but i’m now obsessed with this hannah/meg dynamic.
Tagelied - mary/ellen, the true story of how ellen got into hunting before angels interfered.
Hell's Bells** - meg/abaddon, alternate s8/9 where meg survives crowley’s attack with sam’s help and teams up with abaddon (who she has a sk year old crush on) to take back hell.
The Ecstasy of the Rose - anna/ruby, anna travels back in time to escape heaven and becomes a signifigant part of ruby’s old human life.
Angel Underground - anna/jo, kind of an urban fantasy au with a very intriguing premise (sadly its very short, i’d love to see more if this ‘verse).
Clover, Flame - billie/mary, billie was always the reaper that showed up to take mary after her death(s) over the years.
Drag Me To Heaven - anna/ruby, a variant on the ‘last night on earth’ thing with dean.
Come Home* - jo/anna, canon-divergent au where anna is the new waitress at the roadhouse and helps jo set up a (probably not really) haunted house for halloween.
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kallypsowrites · 3 years
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Ok serious question you seem like the best person to ask ( love your blog and your fics btw you got me reading GOT fics when I wanna purge that show from my mind) because you're sort of optimistic but also realistic I think. What do you think we're going to get in S2 in terms of darklina I'm bouncing like a ping pong ball between thinking on the one hand they wrote everything before seeing just how popular it is and leigh was involved and they're building the other ship so how are they gonna give us darklina at the same time but also Ben only signed on bc they promised him a lot of involvement but he spends most of the second book removed from all of them so how are they gonna do that. I need to manage my expectations so in a year or a year and a half when the show comes out I don't get depressed when they give me nothing 🤣. Thank you for your service.
Oh wow! First off, I'm glad you read some of my GoT fics despite being burned by the show (same).
Secondly, I'm definitely an optimistic realist when it comes to Darklina. So I'll break it down for you:
1. We will get a lot more Darklina moments. The show knows, at the very least, that Darklina is the most popular ship. it does numbers every time. For over a month, the last post sitting on the official twitter was a pic of the actors. Even if its not endgame, they'll continue to give them moments with each other because that is the major draw of the show. Yes they wrote the scripts before seeing but TV scripts NEVER stay at the first draft. The studio orders changes. They make edits. TV shows live by appealing to an audience. They fear constant cancelation, especially on Netflix. So even if there wasn't enough Darklina in the initial drafts...they'll stick in more in edits.
2. Past that, as you said, Ben Barnes is one of the main draws and they got him on board with the idea he'd be involved a lot. Sure, he's not there for much of the plot HOWEVER he and Alina have their convenient telepathic bond which means they can bring him in regularly and do a lot of juicy stuff with that. They'll also probably give him non book stuff to show what he's doing while he's not with our heroes which I'm tentatively excited about. Ben will do it justice.
3. Ben himself has always fought for the humanity of the character, and of all the actors, he probably has the most sway over the writing. So his nuance and the way he says the lines is gonna continue to be great.
4. I don't think they're going to kill the Darkling in season 2. People have said that BUT unless they intend to end Alina and Mal's story in two season, I don't think it will happen. Remember that once the Darkling is dead, they're out too. And since there's a six of crows spin off being developed, we know the show doesn't have to rush to get to the Six of Crows content. So I think he's got a solid three seasons ahead of them, as they all do. And then the Crows get to go off an have their own thing (avoiding the curse of the post season 3 cancelation).
Like, do I think they'll actually give us Darklina endgame? No. Not a chance. But they will keep milking Darklina until the finish. They will let Ben give the character more consistency and humanity than he was allowed in the books. And there will be lots of delicious angst. And even if the Darkling's character does go more in the evil direction...Ben is so delicious when he's evil and consider the Lovers to enemies tension???
For actual Darklina endgame, fanfic is the way to go. I won't let myself hope in that. I just want them to continue lighting up that screen for long as the show lasts :)
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bakugohoex · 4 years
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looove your blog keep up the amazing work 😙✌🏽 anywho fic where people in UA still think shinsou's quirk is scary and they avoid him as much as possible bc they're scared he might activate it + that makes him sad but reader isn't scared of him at all !! and she always talks to him/hangs with him etc.. and he like low-key falls in love w her
”why aren’t you scared of me?”
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pairing: hitoshi shinso x female reader
cw: language, slight angst, fluff, kissing
word count: 4000+
a/n: umm this is weird and i got rid of the joint traning arc and mina and momo are being bitches and it’s just me waffling at 00:30 so yeah have fun to the people awake reading this also thank you so much for the support
summary: in which shinso joins class 1a and whilst everybody seems to be scared of him out of fear he’ll use his quirk, you try to befriend the boy and he develops feelings as soon as you talk to him.
↞ back to my hero academia masterlist
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His arrival into the class was shocking to say the least, the small whispers between your classmates and the fear that flushed through their eyes. Except you, you were intrigued by the boy, having seen his quirk at the sports festival you had seen how he used it against Midoriya. His soft violet hair looked a mess but a cute mess to say the least, his dull eyes and grey marks underneath his eyes melted your insides.
“You can sit behind Y/n.” You smiled to signify you were Y/n and he looked down walking past your classmates.
The whispers all in ear shot, you could see his eyes fall but didn’t say anything about it. Him, swiftly taking the seat right behind you, Aizawa had let the class talk among themselves and the fact nobody had come to talk to the boy. Hurt you a lot more than you wished, “y/n, we’re having that movie night next Sunday.”
“I can’t wait.” You turned around to meet the boy, “you’re invited as well.”
He gazed up catching your eyes, your knuckles were white due to the grip on the chair, and you stared with utter confidence. Mina having been the one to ask, she gave a side eye at what you had just said but didn’t bother making a remark.
Shinso answered with a, “I wouldn’t want to intrude.”
“No, it’s fine, I want you to come.” You had never been this confident but at how he had been ignored by the rest of the class it jolted something inside of you, “we can have lunch together as well.”
“Okay.” It was blunt and Momo this time had come up to you.
She stood in front of you, ignoring the boy, you could see how tense she was at the close proximity between them. She gestured for you to get up, but you ignored her action, “I’ll talk to you later.” You spoke continuing to ignore her pleas, was she really scared of him?
Were they all really that scared of him?
“You can go to your friends; you don’t need to be some sort of pity party.” Shinso muttered, stretching back and leaning against his chair.
Wide eyed, you tilted your head to be placed on the back of your hands, “I’m not a pity party, I want to be friends.”
“Friends, your class hates me.” He looked up and down, your skirt had ridden up and he could see a scar that you had probably gotten from someone’s quirk.
You roll you eyes giving the boy a smirk, “they don’t hate you.” .
“Really?” He gushes out knowing it’s the truth.
“Yes, stop worrying.” It was concerning how easy you two could converse, and your friends were ever so afraid. His gaze watching every one of your features, they assumed he was thinking of how to taint you, but all the saw was a tenderness comfort from you.
You noticed Ectoplasm come through the door ready to teach the hated maths lesson, “be warned if you get a question wrong, he will glare at you.” You gestured to the man and Shinso’s lip twitched upwards.
“Maybe it’s just because you get the questions wrong.” Shinso remarked back, urning a small slap on the arm to him.
His could feel the tip of his ears redden at how your hand had touched his arm, even though the fabric, your hand had lingered before hearing the sound of the lesson starting. You turned back around trying to look and concentrate on the board but all you could really think about was the boy. He was sweet, he understood your humour and he was nice, and you had no idea where there seemed to be an air of terror around the room.
Lunch had finally arrived just as you were getting your stuff, “Y/n, let’s go to next lunch.” This time it was Midoriya who had spoken, he had fought Shinso and knew everything about him. Seeing you be so friendly to someone who had a quirk like him, it made the green haired boy anxious.
“I’m having lunch with Shinso actually” You took your bag, standing up and allowing Shinso to have a full view of your frame, the loose tie around the white shirt, the thigh highs encasing your legs and making your thighs suffocate between the fabric.
He saw the way the class was looking at the scene and he became angry, maybe even upset. Did they really fear him this much, think he’d become some sort of villain and he’d taint you.
You started walking before waiting, “come on then.” It felt like being beckoned but he followed nevertheless, meeting your gaze and walking past the class with you.
“She’s too nice for her own good.” Mina spoke walking out with Momo.
Momo nodded watching how you stood close to the boy, “he might hurt her, we need to keep an eye on them.”
“What if he’s already in her mind?” Mina spoke callously, it was unknown for the two of them to act like this. But they had seen the festival, and they has seen the look on Midoriya’s eyes when he was being brainwashed. You were too nice, everybody knew that, but you had always been infatuated with his quirk from the first time you saw him use it. You hadn’t fought against him during the sports festival but had made it to the same stage he had.
He wouldn’t have paid attention to you, wouldn’t have looked and watched your fight, you weren’t anybody important. “I bet you’re happy you got moved into our class.” Both of you were rounding a corner and you had been telling him about the classmates, but all he could think about was the hate and disgust he had seen in their eyes.
“Yeah, too bad you’ll probably be my only friend.” He shrugs pulling at this tie to loosen due to feeling constricted.
“So we are friends?” He heard the sign of your chuckle and took a heavy breathe, it was soft and warm, filled with a tender kindness he had never experienced before.
He didn’t meet your gaze, “shut up.” He could almost feel your smile on him, turning to meet your gaze, he was going to be friends with you. He knew that, but was still fearful you’d leave him, leave and be afraid of his quirk.
“I shouldn’t have made you have lunch with me, you probably have your own friends from general studies.” You scratched the back of your head looking forward towards the main hall, you both walked towards the food a hunger taking over you.
He captures your eyes beginning to speak, “not really, I used them a lot in the festival and I guess they got pissed.”
He followed you to the empty seat, sitting opposite you as you picked at your food, “well what did you expect, dumbass.” He gave a low chuckle watching how your hair bounced in place and how you licked your lips after taking a bite of the rice.
“I remember seeing your fight, it was good, too bad you lost.” He taunted back; you rolled your eyes gently kicking his leg from underneath the table. Another flush had erupted from his face feeling your leg graze his own.
“It wasn’t my fault, I couldn’t touch her to use my quirk, she kept hitting me.” You whined, he smiled at the action, it was cute, but he was never going to admit that.
Instead raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms whilst leaning back he watched you, “okay then, what is this quirk of yours, I better be impressed.”
“Give me your hand.” He gave a wary look, “I’m not going to break your hand.”
He scoffed, putting his hand out, the rest of the class had arrived a couple minutes prior and had seen the two of you. “I don’t understand why you lot are scared of brainwashing kid, you’re all just pussy’s.” Bakugo stormed walking to another table with Kirishima, Sero and Denki.
All four had to admit his quirk was good, even Bakugo who would say it was shitty. They didn’t really care, and Denki could see him as the popular kid who’d he want to be friends with. The four hadn’t gone up to him due to seeing the glares that you had gotten and the glare of Mina’s that felt ice cold.
Most of them believed fear had caught up but how could they live in fear of the boy when he was in their class permanently. What could they do but see him try to integrate more into the class, Kirishima had even felt happy that you had invited him even after Mina and Momo’s look of horror.
Mina had gone to sit with the girls who seemed a lot more hatred to the boy, you understood Izuku’s anxiousness, but he’d get over it when he got more comfortable. You knew the class would be fine, after these months with them all, they’d be fine hopefully. The girls had watched him put his hand out and your fingers grazing his palms, they had no reason but fear that filled them, one of their close friends getting close with a boy with a quirk like his. It was a recipe for disaster.
“What is she doing?” Jirio asked, she didn’t have the same hatred as Momo, and Mina did. But that was only due to you being closer with the latter.
“Showing her quirk.” Hagakure spoke being able to see a lot more than the others by being the closest to the two of you.
Mina’s eyes widened, “why would she do that?”
The lack of response made it seem more like there was more fear from her than anybody else. Of course she would feel like this, she had seen you grow and been there for you and she didn’t want some stupid brainwashing boy to make you a villain. She hadn’t realised her thoughts, how inconsiderate she had been, he wasn’t a villain but why did she believe it so much. Having seen him control Midoriya it was frightening and now here you were sitting in front of him without acknowledging the fear.
“Basically if I touch any matter really, I can control it, so I touched your hand now…” You had stopped speaking letting your mind go blank as you thought for him to wave at you, “see.”
His eyes widened it was like his, it was something similar not exactly the same. But he felt his chest go heavy, he had fallen for you, from the way you spoke to having seen your fight and see you defeated. He had to admit he thought you were an arrogant weakling but now after you had so effortlessly become friends with him, he felt something a lot more for you.
“Shinso.” The sound of your voice saying his name, drove him wild and he couldn’t move, frozen at how you had spoke so smoothly, how his name on your lips was so effortless and seductive. He might sometimes be coy, but he was blunt but at this moment he couldn’t speak out of fear of losing something potential.
“Sorry.” It was a mutter and you shrugged it off taking him to where training would be.
Having changed into your hero costume you saw Shinso with the detachable mask around his mouth. He walked closer to you, but saw how your friends had come over quickly, he didn’t take a step forward standing still. Until Denki had seen him, “hey, I’m Kaminari.”
“Shinso.” The violet haired boy spoke.
Denki began gleefully talking to no end, “…I think your quirk is cool and you look one of those popular boys in Shojo manga.”
“You read Shojo manga.” Shinso spoke visibly confused but intrigued at the boy.
Denki began to save himself by acting cooler than usual, “what you don’t?”
“Nope.” It was another blunt statement; he had easily been able to not been blunt with you, but he was getting anxious at the motives of Denki’s.
“Come to my room tonight, I’ll show you so many.” Denki had easily said, Shinso nodded, he felt relieved that this mornings antics had all be swept away, even seeing Kirishima and Sero coming along dragging Bakugo beside him. They began to converse and Shinso felt relieved but occasionally looked at you, he found your hero costume beautiful, he understood for the lack of clothes due to it being easy to touch stuff with your any part of your body.
He zoned out looking at how your legs were exposed, the white leotard that encased your body and the long white cape that fell from around your neck, it looked moveable and he could see the material to be controllable for you to grab stuff. You looked like an ethereal angel and he if this really was a Shojo manga his nose would be bleeding right about now.
“We’re doing doubles, get into pairs and then join up with another pair.” Shinso noticed how he probably wouldn’t end up with you or one of the boys as they’d partner up together, but Denki had stayed close to him already an acknowledgement that the two were pairs and Sero had gone to pair up with Sato.
You had seen Denki go up to the boy and you knew your assumptions were right, being partnered with Mina would be hard at how she gave fearful remarks of not getting too close to the boy. You were against Momo and Ururaka, it was an ease using and controlling whatever Momo made but you weren’t fully in the fighting spirt. Your gaze on the fight between Kirishima and Bakugo against Shinso and Denki.
“Y/n, pay attention.” Mina chastised, you nodded continuing to stop Ururaka’s aim, it was easy to get close to them and with ease and Mina’s acid you were able to touch them and control them to stop.
It went on like this for a while, you were glad that with timing you didn’t have to go against Midoriya and Todoroki or Bakugo and Kirishima. They’re power was a lot and you really didn’t want to break any bones today, but fate still ended up hating you and the last fight was against Shinso and Denki.
You could almost feel the smirk through the mask, the capturing weapon surrounding his pretty little neck. “Ready to lose Y/n.” You didn’t speak, knowing exactly what he was going to do.
Denki had come full force at the two of you, you quickly with ease touched him as he swung for Mina who slyly escaped using her acid. You brought the boy up, whispering in his ears a few fatal words, before he stormed at Shinso with his quirk. “Using my teammate against me, so callous of you.”
You still hadn’t spoken, Mina hated how he toyed with you but still remained further away that you did.
“Shinso.” Denki shouted but that was Shinso’s cue to use his own quirk, it went on back and forth using Denki before he overexerted himself and stayed on the ground. Knowing you’d have to make this quick, you ran up to the boy ready to touch him.
But you felt the cool alloy wrap around your bones, Aizawa had seen the progress Shinso had made using them and he was impressed. He was still rough and needed a lot more practice, but he was able to hold onto you with confidence. You tried to get out, but he had made your cape wrap around your skin making his scarf able to not be controlled by you, you were all wrapped up for him in a pretty little present.
“Say the magic words.” He mocked out.
You huffed taking a sign before speaking, “let me out…please.”
He let you go and had begun controlling you, bringing you this time closer to his body. “You did good.” He stopped brainwashing you and you came out of your daze.
“Being under you brainwashing is creepily good, it’s like an out of body experience.” You spoke highly praising the boy before hearing Aizawa dismiss you all.
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” He laughs walking with you to the changing rooms.
You wanted to ask about his new friendships as it seemed to have been him become a lot more comfortable than you had expected, “you made friends with Denki and them lot.”
“Yeah, they seem okay, even that Bakugo he makes some good points, he’s still arrogant though.” You laughed cocking your head back at the remark.
“That describes him to the T.” You partnered ways getting changed and meeting each other outside to walk to the dorms
He spoke about Denki inviting him to read some Shojo manga, and you couldn’t wait to hear that story. He was even your neighbour which you were happy about, knowing that there was only a thin wall between the two of you.
The days continued on as usual, you spending more and more time with Shinso, the class becoming more comfortable with him, even Midoriya was friendly saying Hi’s in the mornings which Shinso would reply with. It seemed like everybody was growing on him, everybody except Mina and Momo, there was a sense of air that you were still infatuated with him.
They remember your exact words from the sports festival, “his quirk looks kind of scary, I’d rather die then fight him.” You had said it jokingly, but they took it literally and couldn’t understand why you were as scared as they were. They saw the look of evil in his eyes, but the class had moved past, and they seemed to be the only ones left. They were your friends, of course they were but the way they had been acting had made you distance yourself just for them to cool off.
Another fast long week had approached, and it was finally time for the movie night that was occurring, Shinso had walked down with you, the purple hoodie encased his frame with the grey joggers. He had been in awe when you came out of your room in shorts and a zip up hoodie seeing the peak of a tank top underneath. You really did look perfect in anything; it was the moment he knew that he had begun falling for you deeper.
“Denki showed me this Shojo manga, he said you’d read it.” You began to think of the manga’s you had read which happened to be a long list. “Kiss him, not me.”
“Oh yeah, it’s sappy, I love it though, we should watch the anime.” You hadn’t realised what you said but it was obviously an invitation into one another’s rooms to watch a romance anime.
Shinso tried to surpress his cheeks from flushing but continued on speaking, “I’ll hold you to that.”
“Of course.” You laughed meeting the class who had set up in front of the TV, you grabbed the hoodie sleeve of Shinso’s pushing him onto the end of the sofa as you sat beside him. “Now if I fall asleep, I won’t be embarrassed.”
The thought of you falling asleep on him, made his heart beat. He felt butterflies at how you were already partially leaning against him, he watched Mina and Momo glare from the other side, ignoring it though. The movie had started something Bakugo had chosen after winning rock paper scissors, it was disturbing to say the least and you knew you’d end up falling asleep through the second part of it.
Iida had paused the film for breaks being the efficient man he was, Shinso stayed put as you went to get a glass of water. Mina following, “Y/n, why have you been so distant with me?” She was worried for the friendship, had Shinso made you like this?
“Oh, have I, I didn’t realise.” You speak taking a long sip of the water.
“Yeah, you have, did Shinso do this to you? Are you like under his control?” It was unexpected and you choked on your water in shock.
You were trying to keep a lid on your anger, but you had given up, “Mina stop being a fucking bitch to the boy, he hasn’t done anything to me, everybody has warmed up to him except you and Momo and it’s driving me crazy to have to step on egg shells around you. He isn’t a villain okay.”
Her mouth was wide and at your shouting the class had gathered, even Shinso who had heard the last part. Denki put a reassuring arm on his friends shoulder before waiting for Mina’s reply, who hadn’t realised the presence of others.
“He’s probably controlling everybody Y/n, you told me and Momo you would never want to fight him, why would you say that and befriend him?” You thought back to those words you had said months ago.
“I can say I wouldn’t want to fight him because I’m glad he’s on our side.” You muttered, “he’s not controlling all of, stop acting like this.”
Mina tried to move closer to you, but you put your arm out to stop her, “can’t you see we’re all scared of him; he’s going to end up a villain.”
Shinso broke at those words, he coughed making Mina realise what she had said, the faces of 19 angry faces glaring at her. Shinso began to speak and Mina was scared shitless, “I’m going to head up early.”
“Shin…” He moved past everybody walking away, he wasn’t in the mood for confrontation and now all he could think about was you, why weren’t you scared of him, why were you so kind to him?
You barged past the girl, “don’t fucking talk to me until you apologise to him.” You ran to follow the boy who had already taken the elevator, you thought over the scene and he needed someone.
Walking towards his door, you knocked waiting for him to open it, he looked sad, upset even. You didn’t know what to say seeing his glum face, “she shouldn’t have said that.”
“It’s the truth though, isn’t it, I’ll always be seen as a villain.” You went to reach for him, but he took a step backwards, “that’s the thing, I don’t understand though.”
“What, Shinso?” You questioned closing the door and leaning against it.
“Why aren’t you scared of me?” Your eyes widened.
“Why would I ever be scared of you?”
He came close to your smaller frame, his arms crossed above your head leaning down to meet your eyes. “My quirk its not very hero type now is it.”
“Shinso, I never cared about your quirk, yeah its cool but I saw you, for you not your quirk.” You rested your hands on his chest, hoping to bring comfort.
One of his hands, moved to your cheek, caressing it softly and slowly. “I shouldn’t have asked you that.”
“No, it’s fine, I want you to know that I like you for you.” You hadn’t meant for a confession of your crush to come out, but you stopped caring, you liked him, you really did, and you didn’t care if Mina and Momo didn’t. They would have to acknowledge it one way or another.
His other hand moved your hair away from your face, “you’re lucky then.” He moved his face closer to yours, you could smell the caramel popcorn fresh from his breathe.
“Why?” You tilted your head waiting for the gap to close.
Just as his lips skimmed yours, he spoke softly, “that I like you for you t…” He never finished his sentence, instead kissing you softly, your soft lips engulphed within his own. Your hands in his hair as he brought his hands to grip your waist. He felt every inch of you in that one kiss, hearing a soft moan which allowed his tongue to take the lead and make you own submit. It felt intoxicating and heavy, with teeth on teeth and his grip tightening against your waist. He wanted to feel you on him, he didn’t care what the two girls thought of him anymore because he had you and that was all he ever needed.
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reidgraygubler · 4 years
Text
sounds like sweet talk to my ears (spencer reid/fem!reader)
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Title: Sounds Like Sweet Talk to My Ears
Request: kinda, it was already written but someone asked for it to be posted
Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader
Category: smut, fluff (18+ CONTENT!)
Content Warning:  age gap between two consenting adults (Reader is 22. So it’s 15 years), swearing, sexual content (fingering, bathtub sex (?), groping, penetrative sex/creampie, hand kink), falling in love with a sugar daddy, mildly ooc spencer, light drinking, Sugar daddy!Spencer, sugar daddy relationship, mentions of under-aged drinking (in the past)
Word Count: 4,507
Summary: Reader and Spencer go on vacation where their relationship develops.
A/N: few things, this authors note might be a little long. And im sorry for that. This was written for a full length fic with mgg as the person. But i have heavily edited it to be for spencer instead. So if there are any weird things, or spencer being way out of character, that is why. Like i said this was originally going to be a full length fic (this was previously written!!), but i have since stopped writing it, i think i have one other part that is right after this, so if this part goes good, i’ll probably post the next part. secondly, this was also written for a friend of mine, who is 22, that is why the age gap is so big between reader and spencer. It was also written an original character, but i tried my best to make it be reader insert friendly (lots of petnames and nicknames)...  someone on my nsfw blog (@reidsprincess​ ) asked about this, bc i found this gif that reminded me of this particular fic. Anyways… thanks for the love! Check out my masterlist! 
~*~* THIS DOES CONTAIN 18+ CONTENT!! *~*~
{***}{***}{***}
“This place is beautiful,” I gasped once we were both in the small beach bungalow room. It was more grandiose than the last place we stayed in. The whole place was cozy and comfortable. This was a place I was never expected to be in...
 The front door was connected to the living room, it was a comfortable room, two loveseats, and two armchairs. A flat-screen TV was mounted on the wall across from the furniture. And the kitchen was attached to the living room, separating the two with a breakfast bar and stools. The kitchen itself was better than the kitchen in my apartment. I was jealous of the owner of this home. Flowers and lit candles sat on every open surface.
The kitchen had a set of sliding glass doors, which opened up onto a patio. And that held outdoor furniture, and table and chairs set. Something told me it also housed a jacuzzi, and I was more than excited to utilize that later. The bedroom and bathroom were tuck elsewhere, but I had a feeling that it was as beautiful as the rest of the home.
The house sat on the beach. The sand was pure white and the water was perfectly blue. I couldn’t wait to run and play in the sand. As childish as that sounds… I’ve never been to the beach, so this is all new to me.
“Spencer,” I looked behind my shoulder and at him. He looked down at me with a smile as he set the luggage down on the ground beside him.
“How about,” Spencer pressed his lips to my ear and whispered. His fingers danced across my bare arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake. I shuddered and smiled softly. “I go run us a bath, while you order food? Dinner with dessert? Champagne?” he offered, dropping his hand to the hem of my shirt. I chuckled lightly and pushed his hand off me. 
“That’s your idea of a perfect evening?” I asked, turning around to face him. “Dinner and a bath?” I chuckled lightly. He was looking down at me; the smile on his lips told me everything I needed to know. That he needed me right now more than I needed him. Although, I don’t think it’s possible for him to need me more than I needed him.
“Any evening with you is a perfect evening,” he whispered, lifting his hand to rest on my cheek. His hand fell down the side of my cheek and rested under my jaw, his thumb rested on the apple of my chin. I grinned as the familiar feeling of butterflies grew in my tummy. 
“Oh you be quiet,” I whispered as I lifted my arms to wrap around his neck. He hummed before pressing a kiss to my lips. I hummed, pulling him down more so we were more so eye level. He wrapped his free arm around my waist and pulled me so I was close to his body. I breathed out a laugh through my nose. After a second, he pulled away from me and kept his eyes on me. “I guess you’re in luck then,” I smiled, placing my hands on his cheeks.
“How so?” he whispered, pressing his face into my hands. I smiled and went onto my toes.
“Because our perfect evenings sound very similar,” I whispered and pecked his lips, “Every evening with you is perfect,” I smiled before walking away from him.
“What… What are you doing, Sunshine?” Spencer asked in a complaining tone as I walked towards the kitchen. I looked over my shoulder at him as I pulled my phone out of my pocket.
“Dinner?” I waved my phone in the air, “What do you want?” I looked back at my phone and smiled.
“Whatever you want will be fine,” he came back up to me and kissed me again before going towards the bathroom, “Bubbles?” he called before stepping into the bathroom. I laughed as I pressed my phone to my ear.
“You know me so well, Spence!” I smiled and sat on one of the stools at the breakfast bar. I looked around the kitchen and living room, taking in the beautiful decor. I wonder how he knew about this place...
I quickly ordered food before finding my way to the bathroom. And, the bathroom was just as impressive as the rest of the house. One wall was just a window that faced the beach. And a large white bathtub sat in front of the window. A shower was tucked in the wall, just so it was out of the way, but even that was beautiful. And of course, it had a toilet and sink. 
“Do you… Live here?” I asked, watching as Spencer was filling the tub. “Or like… Do you own this house? I mean… This is just. This is a beautiful house,” I leaned against the counter and looked at him. He stood up from the tub and looked at me. 
“Sometimes…” he paused as he looked around the bathroom. Sometimes? How do you sometimes live somewhere? “On the very rare occasion, when I have time off… I take my mother down here for a week. She loves the beach and the ocean and the sand in her toes,” he smiled as he rolled the sleeves of his shirt down. Okay, I guess that makes sense. “You order dinner?” he asked, resting his hands on the counter beside me. I looked up at him and nodded.
“Yeah, yeah, dinner’s ordered and on its way here,” I nodded and rested a hand on his chest. He quirked an eyebrow and smiled softly.
“What’d you order?” he rested his hands on my waist. I smiled and cocked my head to the side, allowing his hands to wander up my sides.  
“I’m sorry, it’s a surprise. I don’t want to tell you,” I smiled at him. Spencer wrinkled his nose before kissing my forehead. I let out a breath of air and shrugged. “You’ll find out in 20 minutes. You should save some space in the bath for hot water,” I poked his nose before sneaking away from his arms. He grasped my wrists and pulled me back so I was in front of him.
“Where are you going?” he asked, looking down at me. I flashed my brightest smile and shrugged.
“Champagne,” I batted my eyelashes. Spencer laughed and nodded. “You still want a glass or do you want to get in the bath now?” I offered as I walked back towards the kitchen. 
“As always,” Spencer followed behind me. “I’ll grab a bottle, you get the glasses?” he asked, going towards a mini wine cooler. I nodded and opened a cabinet. I opened a few before finally pulling out two glasses.
“If this is your mother’s place, why aren’t there any photos of your family?” I asked, leaning on the counter as I sipped my beverage. Spencer turned and looked at me, leaning across from me on the counter.
“We rent it out on season.” He replied, looking down at his glass. I nodded.
“What does that mean?” I asked, feeling mildly stupid. He looked at me with a smile. “Sorry. But you gotta remember that I’m an elementary school teacher’s assistant… Who's poor. I have an apartment that I can barely afford… Not two houses, one of which I rent out.” I pointed out. Spencer laughed and nodded. “Or did you think I was just sleeping with you for fun,” I leaned over the counter to kiss his lips. 
“Hurt,” he placed his hand on his chest in a mockery of hurt. I smiled at him and cocked my head. He looked back at me with a small smile on his lips. “Basically, when we’re not here, we rent it out… But we don’t have too many people staying here,” he chuckled before sipping his drink. “As for sleeping with me just for fun? I didn’t know it was just for fun,” he pouted. I smiled and shrugged. 
“Can’t forget about that paycheck too,” I smiled at him and winked. Spencer looked at me with raised eyebrows, causing me to laugh. “And, I think the fun is just an added bonus feature…” I laughed, throwing my head back. “I thought what we were was just money and sex? Nothing more,” I whispered, leaning on the counter. Spencer looked at me and shrugged.
“It could be more than that,” he smiled. I lowered my glass to the countertop and stared at him.  I could feel my lips trying to pull into a smile, but the longer I stared at him, the more I wished this wasn’t a dream. Because that’s all it felt like when I was with him. A dream.
“Surely… You can’t be serious, Spencer,” I whispered, finally looking away from him. Spencer lifted his hand and rested it on my cheek, carefully turning my head back to look at him.
“I’ve never been serious like this before, Sunshine. And, please, don’t call me Shirley,” he whispered, poking my nose. I smiled and leaned over the counter again, kissing his lips. 
“Only if you’re serious, Spencer. I understand you’re a busy man yourself, with all that saving people with the FBI,” I whispered. He nodded, keeping his hand on my face. I wasn’t exactly sure if he was being serious, mostly because he’s a bit older than me and most people my age (and his age) don’t take such a big age gap.
A knock on the door caused us both to look that direction. I looked back at him and smiled. “Oh no. What’d you order?” He asked, watching me bounce towards the front door. I pulled the door open and met the delivery man with a smile.
“Thank you very much,” I smiled and took the food and pressed the door shut. “I got pizza because I really wanted pepperoni pizza,” I looked at him as I held the box up. Spencer laughed and nodded as he grabbed the two champagne glasses and bottle.
“I’m okay with having pizza,” he smiled before taking the lead back to the bathroom. I held the box in a tight grip as I followed behind him. “Although, I never pictured pizza to be a fancy dinner before a bath,” he looked over at me with a quirked eyebrow. I laughed before I sat on the ground.
“I mean, you are the one who put me in charge of ordering dinner,” I looked at him, watching as he sat on the ground across from me. He sat against the cabinets of the sink counter. I shoved his food towards him and smiled. “It just shows we have two different tastes. I mean, remember the first night we met. You ordered room service for steak and chicken alfredo,” I pointed out as I pulled my food out of the bag. “I’m a simple woman. I like pepperoni pizza,” I smiled at him.
“I think I’ll put you in charge of ordering food more often,” Spencer smiled at me as he went for a slice of pizza. 
“I think that’s a good idea,” I grinned. “I’ll be sure to eat quick. I’ve never been so ready for a bath in my entire life,” I spoke as I moved to sit closer to him. 
“Take your time. We have all the time in the world, Princess,” he smiled as he sipped his champagne. I felt my face warm up a bit as I looked away from him. Something about the petname he has for me just gets me going, and I love it. He definitely knew that too, that I loved the petname of Princess. 
“Glad to know that,” I giggled as I looked at my mostly-empty glass. 
{***}{***}{***}
“More champagne, Princess?” Spencer’s voice was low as he held up the bottle that was now mostly empty. I lolled my head back onto his shoulder and rested my elbows on his knees (I was sitting between his legs in the bath) and held up my glass. 
“I would love more,” I whispered, watching him pour too much into my glass. I hummed happily, telling him it was enough. He placed the bottle back on the stool and wrapped both arms back around my body. The bathwater was warm and matched with how much booze I was drinking, I knew I was beyond intoxicated. I’m sure Spencer’s presence only fueled that feeling. No, it 100% added to that feeling. I knew that. And, he knew that. He knew he had a way with me that no other man would have, or ever have even.
“You should pace yourself, Princess,” Spencer whispered, pressing his lips to my shoulder. I giggled before sipping my drink, telling him I shouldn’t. His breath of air fanned over my skin as he began pressing kisses to my neck. 
“You, Spencer, should stop giving me alcohol,” I looked up at him as best I could. He smiled and kissed me again. “Besides... you’ve had just as much... as me,” I spoke through tiny hiccups. Spencer chuckled and rubbed my shoulders before pressing his lips back to them. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as the unknown tension slipped away. Damn his touch.
“Okay, that’s fair,” he murmured into my skin. "However, I've been drinking for sixteen years. You, Sunshine, are only 22 and have only been drinking a year,” he stated like I would follow the rules. I held back the cackle that so desperately wanted to escape my lips. Me? Follow the rules?? Never ever… This should be a fun thing to tell him.
"True… But I have been drinking since I was 18," I smiled and nodded. I sipped my champagne as I rested my head back on his chest. Spencer made a sound of disapproval which only made me laugh. Oh yeah, that’s right… Under aged drinking is illegal… and he is an FBI agent...  “Okay, since when have you known me to follow the rules? I’m dating a man 15 years older than me,” I pointed out. 
"Oh, you naughty girl." Spencer playfully scolded me. I pouted before humming again.
“Yes, but I’m your naughty girl,” I laughed, arching my back a little bit. I felt his hand travel from my stomach and to my thighs. I hummed as I got a little more comfortable for what he was about to do. “Starting early,” I teased. Spencer let out a breathy laugh. He gently pressed his lips to my throat, right on my pulse point. I gasped lightly as he parted his lips and sucked a spot on my neck. I held my glass just outside of the tub. 
“I’d rather have champagne in the bath than champagne and glass on the floor,” he kept his voice low as he pulled my hand back over the bath. I laughed and shook my head. “Is this okay,” he asked as his other hand traveled a bit more upwards, towards me.
“It’s always okay,” I whispered, taking a deep breath of air. I could feel my heart beating in my chest, I wouldn’t be surprised if Spencer could feel and hear it. 
“Let me take this,” he spoke, taking my glass from my hands. I let out a sound of protest as he took my glass and pressed my head into his chest. He chuckled as he placed the glass on the stool beside the empty bottle. “You can have it back,” he spoke in a mocking tone. I pouted and dropped my head to my shoulder. “In a minute,” he added, his tone becoming a little bit more smug. I rolled my eyes and let out a huff of air.
“Fine,” I whispered. Spencer chuckled again and placed his hand back on my thigh. I hummed happily and looked up at him. “Do you have to be such a tease all the time?” I pouted at him. He smiled and shrugged before dragging his hand closer to my center. 
“Could be more than a tease,” he replied in a whisper. I rolled my eyes and let out a deep breath of air. I carefully lifted my foot out of the water and rested it on the ledge of the tub. “Oh no, you’re gonna get water all over the floor,” he scolded.
“Oh no,” It was my turn to mock him. I smiled as I waved my foot in the air. Spencer hummed before pressing his lips to the side of my head. “A little bit of wet never killed anyone,” I snickered. Except, that snicker became a gasp when he pushed a finger past my folds. My eyes fluttered shut as my jaw stayed slack open. I pressed my back into his chest, feeling his arousal on my lower back. I nearly slipped under the water if Spencer hadn’t had his other arm around my waist, holding me safely against his body.
“Calm down there, Princess,” Spencer laughed as he held me up. I glared over my shoulder at him. “Don’t need you slipping under the water. I think you’re wet enough,” he added as his finger slowly circled my clit. My hands gripped the side of the tub and then moved to rest on his knees. 
“I fucking hate you,” I muttered but moaned towards the end of my statement. Spencer laughed as he pressed his lips to the side of my head. His other arm was pressed against my chest, keeping me still as I wiggled and writhed under his touch. A breathy moan fell from my lips as he picked up his pace.  
“No, I don’t think you do,” he whispered, keeping his lips close to my ear. My eyes fluttered shut as I dropped my head to the side. Spencer took this as his chance to press kisses across the space behind my ear, causing me to gasp lightly. Spencer hummed, pleased with how I was reacting to any sort of his touches. 
I lifted both my hands and gripped his arm as he slowly eased a finger into my center. I pressed my nails so hard into his arm, I wouldn’t be surprised if come morning he’d have crescent-shaped bruises there.
A man like Spencer who has hands as beautiful as his, he clearly knows what he’s doing. It’d be a sin if he didn’t. A loss for all of womankind. I guess that’s why I’m so pleased that it’s me under his hands right now and not a different girl. I quite literally love his hands, and the way he can just work his magic with his fingers, getting me going in a matter of minutes. He wasn’t lying when he said he was a magician. 
“You alright, Princess,” he asked, keeping his tone low as he continued thrusting his fingers in and out of me, curling them just right. I hope the gasp I gave was a good response because I don’t think I knew words right now. My brain was getting fuzzy, and my belly was starting to grow tense. Like a coil deep within me was about to break. 
“S’close,” I mustered out. I swallowed roughly as he began rubbing my clit with the heel of his palm. My whimpers, gasps, and moans weren’t evenly timid as he picked up the pace, finally pushing me over the edge. 
I was a mess. There’s no other way of putting it. But, I’m always a mess when I’m with him. 
Spencer slowly withdrew his hand from between my legs and placed it over top of his other arm, embracing me like his life depended on it. I took a deep breath, trying to steady my breathing. A giggle fell from my lips as I threw my head back against his chest. Spencer hummed as he looked down at me.
“I love your fucking hands,” I turned my head and looked at him. Spencer smiled at me and laughed before pulling his hands off me to look at them. I took one of them in my own and looked at it, entranced by his veins and freckles peppered over the backside. It felt right for his hand to be in mine.
“Thank you… I guess. I think that’s a compliment,” he mused as he placed his arms back over my chest and kissed my cheek. “You good?” he asked, his thumbs rubbing my shoulders.
“Yeah, I’m gonna go dry off and get water. Better see you in the bedroom.” I smiled at him. He pressed another kiss to my face before allowing me to get out. 
“As you wish, Princess,” he smiled at me as I grabbed a towel. His eyes lingered on me for a moment as I wrapped the towel around my body. “I’ll be right behind you,” he added as I grabbed our glasses and empty champagne bottle. 
I smiled at him as I left the bathroom, making my way across towards the kitchen. True to my word, I got a glass of water and drank half of it in one sip. I grabbed a second glass and retreated back towards the bedroom. 
Spencer wasn’t finished in the bathroom, I could still hear him splashing around in the water. I grinned and shook my head as I stepped into the bedroom. I placed the two glasses on the nightstand. I sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for him to finish. 
Not even two minutes later, Spencer entered the room, towel around his waist. I stared at him, my eyes lingering on his shoulders, down his arms to his hands, before flicking to gaze upon his belly and torso. I felt my lips twitch as I stood, leaving my towel behind. He smiled as I basically sprinted up to him.
I placed an open mouth kiss over his lips, putting my arms around his neck to pull him down to my height. I could feel his grin against my lips as our noses smooshed together. His arms wrapped around my waist as he brought us to the bed. 
“You’re so eager, Princess,” he muttered against my lips. I hummed as I threaded my fingers through his hair. That action elicited a moan from his lips, making me smile. He gently pushed me against the bed, standing at the foot as I got myself to lie at the pillows. The way he looked at me told me he was pleased with how the night was going to end. And honestly, I understood. 
He dropped his towel from his hips, letting it fall to the floor, before kneeling on the bed. I took a deep breath as I stared at him, keeping my eyes on my face. I knew if they wandered any further, I’d become a puddle right there. Well, more of a puddle than I already was.
Spencer smiled at me as his fingers ghosted my legs. He gently placed a kiss on different parts of my body as he made his way up to my face. The bliss I felt was unexplainable as he grasped one of my hands and kissed my lips. 
He looked down at me, a small smile on his lips. My chest heaved as my breathing picked up once again. The kisses he pressed to the swells of my breasts made me feel like I was floating. That, or it was the softness of the mattress and bedding beneath us. 
“You ready for me, Princess?” he asked, pressing a knee between my legs, separating them so he could fit comfortably between them. I licked my lips and nodded, keeping my eyes on his. His nose twitched as a smile grew on his lips. He brought a hand to rest on my cheek. “I need to hear you say it,” he leaned close to my ear and whispered. 
“Yeah, yes… I’m always ready,” I swallowed roughly and nodded. Spencer pulled his hand from my face and moved it to my hip. I lifted my legs and wrapped them around his waist, pulling him close to me. He smiled and kissed my lips, a simple distraction as he pressed his cock into me. The breath in my lungs was knocked from me, causing me to loud gasp. Spencer smiled against my lips. 
“You feel so good, Princess,” he groaned, dropping his head to my shoulder. It took a minute for either of us to move, adjusting to the feeling of each other. “Ready,” he asked, moving to place his forehead on mine. I swallowed and nodded, bringing my hands to rest on his cheeks. 
A smile twitched on his lips as he slowly started to move his hips. At first, it was an unsure rhythm but slowly grew in a slow and meaningful pace. His hands roamed my body before wrapping around my torso and holding me close. 
“Faster,” I panted, pulling my hands from his face and knotting them in his hair, again. He nodded, picking his pace. A familiar feeling in my belly, the coil winding, returned. The groans that fell from Spencer’s lips pushed me closer. 
“You’re doing so good, Princess,” his voice was low and rough as he spoke. 
I pulled a hand away from his head and brought it between our bodies. I began rubbing my clit, pushing me closer to the edge. Spencer’s thrusting grew more erratic.
“Come with me, please,” I whimpered, keeping my arm around him. He nodded and groaned as I clenched around him.  After a moment, we both became a mess. Moans and gasps of each other’s names filled the silent bedroom. 
Spencer stayed put above me for a minute, his arms around my body and holding me close. We took our time coming down from our shared high. A whimper escaped my lips as he pulled out from me and collapsed on the bed beside me.
“I got you water,” I panted, vaguely gesturing towards the two glasses of water on the nightstand. Spencer chuckled as he reached for a glass. I watched as he drank the water, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. I smiled at him, keeping my eyes on him. I knew I should look away, but I couldn’t. “You’re right, I don’t hate you,” I swallowed roughly and shook my head.
“I know I’m right,” he looked down at me with a smile. I rolled my eyes and watched him get off the bed. I furrowed my eyebrows and sat up. “I’m always right, Princess,” he looked over his shoulder and at me. I smiled and nodded as I got off the bed. 
“So much for taking a bath,” I rolled my eyes as I felt our mixture roll down my legs. “I’m gonna shower,” I smiled at him as I walked towards him. He pecked my lips and nodded. 
“Don’t have too much fun without me,” he poked my sides as I grabbed for my towel. I squealed and shook my head. 
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” I smiled at him.
taglist: @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto​, @thebluetint​
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kittenofdoomage · 3 years
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Happy Birthday to my blog, seven years ago today I started out in this strange wilderness and it's only gotten stranger 👍 nearly 700 stories and over 3.3 million words of fanfiction.
I was just going to leave this as a happy birthday blog post but I feel like I've got a few things I need to get off my chest, so this is below the cut, I know not everyone wants to or particularly cares to read it so there's ya choice 🤷‍♀️
There's no big announcements here FYI. I'm just doing what my friends have told me and putting my thoughts down on paper.
Some of you may have noticed I'm not posting anything on Tumblr anymore. The lack of interaction (comments, asks etc.) has just really put me off putting anything on here because it doesn't really feel like anyone either wants to read it or wants me around anymore, and I'm not gonna beg for attention. I'm not surprised, to be honest, my whole life I've been a square peg in a round hole. People just don't want me around - it's not just online. In real life there's exactly one place I feel like no one wants me to leave and that's in my house, with my family. I've just always been an odd person, and there aren't many people who vibe with me, it's cool, I've accepted it. But I'm not gonna be opening myself to that discomfort or pain anymore. My fics are all on Ao3 and I'll continue to post on there, my Tumblr will remain but I can't find the strength to get excited about something and then deal with the crushing feeling that no one wants my work. TBH I barely check Tumblr that much anymore bc I only come on here to check messages (usually from Beka, who knows all of this already but if you're reading this, thank you for listening to me and being patient with my mental breakdowns). My asks are staying off for now (sorry, Heart Anon, I love you, I've no idea who you are but please know you've been a light in my life and I appreciate you so much, and Marie, you have also been a beautiful friend with your daily gifs and hearts) but my PMs are on, just don't expect an answer right away.
I turn 35 tomorrow. It's been playing on my mind a lot, especially since my life expectancy ain't looking too good lol. I don't really have much of a life outside Tumblr. I'm a pretty boring person actually. Writing was the way I expressed myself and I truly enjoyed interacting with people who liked my stories. During the pandemic, it's been a way to keep myself focused and keep from slipping into the dark places we're all too familiar with. But there have been occasions lately where writing has been the cause of a slip into a dark place. And that's not healthy, and I need to work on it. I feel this is the time to stop forcing myself to write, seeing as I can't do much of it with my tiny human home for the school holidays.
My Patrons don't need to worry, I've still got material to share, it's a commitment I intend to honor because really, writing is the only thing I have, the only thing I feel I can do well and I am so, so, so, appreciative of every single person that supports me. I can't have a regular job right now (I hope that will change at some point because I've worked all my life until I got sick and I hate it) but you guys have given me a thread of independence, of dignity, and I value every one of you so much, those who have supported, who continue to support and who do so in the future.
I know this won't get absorbed, because it never does but those of you who read on Tumblr... please share the work you like. Set up a separate blog if you're too embarrassed to share on your main, make a reblogging blog, send asks, whatever, just please tell your author how much you liked what they did. I can assure you, those authors are waiting for it. We work so hard on what we make, what we create, we want you to scream from the rooftops. It doesn't even have to be coherent, we love all the feedback, we crave it (as long as it's not just a demand for part two, even Thor learned to ask for more without being rude about it, everyone else can). Without it, we're like plants without water. We don't feel the want to create anymore. And that's kinda where I'm at now. I don't want to lose my passion for my art but when there's nothing to do it for, sometimes it's out of our hands.
So, that's where I'm at. I'll probably lose followers (though I've already lost 250 in the last two months so that's not a surprise) and if any of my Patrons feel like my statement is unacceptable, that's fine. I don't expect anyone to agree with me. I just wanted to put my feelings down, to be honest with everyone. And I have.
I don't want the list of stories to end at 700. I want to keep creating stories that everyone will enjoy. I really hope things with change, even if not for me, then for the others out there who are on their creative journey.
Much love to everyone, stay safe xxx
(this post will remain untagged so it will not show in searches and I'm not tagging those people who I have spoken to about this and my feelings in general, as they know who they are, and they know they're very special, amazing, and appreciated people to me. I don't particularly care if this gets reblogged or not.)
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kelieah · 3 years
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mutuals and followers appreciation post
lord, this is probably going to be a long post. if i can hopefully remember everyone! if i forget to mention you, please please please don't take it personally! i'm forever thankful for the number of friends and mutuals i've made on here, but there are a lot of you.
and for my followers!? i larb you all so so much. thank you to those who support me, you all keep me going and i'm forever thankful to you all x
@waitimcomingtoo oh sweets, where do i begin! i've been reading your fics before i decided to start posting on here and when i reached out to you, and you replied? it felt surreal haha. and then we began to talk here and there, and we became friends! i appreciate your advice so much and am so grateful we chat and catch up every now and then. and your work always inspires me, so thank you for that as well :)
@evermoreholland abbbbyyy!! you're the absolute sweetest. i remember our awkward facetimes here and there, and i find it the cutest and sweetest thing ever. i appreciate all the times you've been there for me. and your work is just so soft, i love reading them when i'm in need of some good fluff. i'm really happy to be able to call you my friend.
@spideyspeaches babe you've always had the best energy. always supporting me and brainstorming with me here and there agh! i larb you so much, and your work ??? i love your unique style. i love your personality so so much and i hope you never stop being you.
@ptersmj vaallll!!! you're another precious mutual of mine, your work is also just absolutely out of this world. you're another writer that inspires the hell out of me, constantly pouring out content, i don't know how you do it. and i love talking to you every chance i get, you're like sunshine :))
@hollandcrush mabel oh mabel i'm so glad we became friends. talking to you is such a joy and reassurance. and your work is always phenomenal, i'm really happy that i have you to confide in, and i hope you know i'm here for you as well! many kisses and hugs x
@devotion laurrenn oh my gosh where do i begin. we went through a tough similar situation ?? if that makes sense, but i was so relived and grateful to have you to talk after all of that. and i appreciate you so much, to this day, where we can comfortably talk to each other when we can w no pressure! i miss your work though, i've always loved your writing. to me you wrote so beautifully and aesthetically.
@greenorangevioletgrass ava pls, you talented ass son of a bitch. i swear i'm going to see you in the media one day. your fics, your voice, the advice you give me? you're the absolute best and i'm blessed to be your mutual and hopefully friend <3
@emmastarz awe emma you're just the sweetest. i love your aesthetic so much and your fics are so amazing ?? i know i have some in my bookmarks so i'll be binging those when i get the chance. you're so supportive and i love it so much, thank you. seriously. MWAH! x
@veryholland millaa!!! i appreciate the hell out of you. i'll never forget the times you check up on me, because trust me, it means the world to me. i hope to see more of your work bc what i've read so far is so sweet and amazing, but if not i also understand so dw dw. ily lots
@peterbenjiparker aw mel. i feel like a mom when it comes to you lmafonsdijkndf. you've grown so much and i remember when you first came to me for advice and such! your writing is absolutely phenomenal and i swear i will never stop saying how proud i am of you. i hope you continue to put yourself first though (in certain situations ofc) and take care of yourself, bc you deserve that and more
@marvelouspeterparker alyssaa!!! your work is always just fantastic, and your support is so motivating. i appreciate your reblogs and little tags so so much. i can't wait to check out your anime blog too btw hahah, i'm glad we've talked a little! :)
@felicityparkers addie addie addie, you absolute sweetheart! i hope we get to talk more bc i feel like we don't talk much but it's okay, i'm cool w whatever! regardless i get to read your wonderful work. you're also another writer that inspires the hell out of me. when you used to post every day, just wow. and they were all always amazing little stories.
@vatefaire oh jeez adeline, i remember you from the verrryyy beginning. i will never understand the hate you get. you're the absolute sweetest and easiest to get along with. i remember our shared laughs of jokes or memes, or drama in the fandom. agh! and your writing was always fun to read. i hope with everything going on you do what YOU want to do. i hope you stay only if you want to, but if you do, please make this your safe place, block the haters and fuck tomsbaddies, god that blog is just bad news
@msmarvelsmain mimimimi!!! i larb larb larb you. your support is the best and i can't thank you enough for it. i still owe you this one writing challenge prompt, but i swear i'll get to it once i have the inspiration to. also i really need to binge your work, it's my bookmarks so stay tuned for a spam ;)
@asonofpeter alex babe oh my gosh, before we became mutuals i've always absolutely loved your work. i still do ofc. but still haha. i'm glad we got to talk and get to know each other a little, but we should definitely catch up. it's been a while!
@willovity GIRL! we need to fucking catch up. i miss and love you so much. i remember when you first reached out to me, how many moons ago? crazy. i miss your work, but hey you do you honey. i can't wait to catch up tho we better
@opheliacult i've always found you so cool, and when we became friends / mutuals. you just became even cooler. we really need to catch up, but that's on me so i'm sorrydibhfl hang in there ily lots 🥺
@peterssweetpea i'm glad we became moots babe! you're so sweet and i absolutely love your aesthetic. i also need to binge your work cus hun the range, i love ittt
@supremethunda i'm so so so happy i've became mutuals with you, your work is absolutely amazing and so inspiring. i love talking to you as well, you're so kind and helpful. thank you sm 🤍
@spideyyeet mina! it has been a minute since we've talked but i had to include you on here. i've also read your work before i first started out on here. but after we've become mutuals and talked here and there, you're one of the most chill and kindest mutuals i've had. i'm glad i got that opportunity to, i hope we catch up one day!
@parkerpeter24 coookkkiee you sweetheart, i love talking to you so much. the memes, just everything! x
@spideysquackson13 fatema!! i appreciate your messages so much, you're so kind and motivating, it really means a lot so thank you!!
@calltothewild shreya!! we go way back, but it's been a minute and we definitely need to catch up. i miss you babe! i love and miss your work, i just haven't seen you on my dash in a while for some reason ;(
@yourstrulyamour aw you! i remember you from the beginning and you've never stopped being so supportive. i hope we catch up sometime, you're the absolute best!
@s-and-n you two! you're both so sweet and kind, i'm glad we get to talk. i do talk to n a bit more, and i love talking to her just as much, but s if you ever wanna talk let me know! i also can't wait to read more of your wonderful work :)
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