#i’ll post the third (final) part today as well

[mvrdermeharder]

Part 2 of Kaiser-goal analysis

[This post is a continuation to my previous one, where I tried to theorize how Kaiser’s goal celebrations differ from other strikers’ and the reason(s) behind it. I highly recommend you to read that first. I’ll also edit this post and link the third part here, when I upload that.]

[Also, tagging u @pixie05love <3]

Okay so, in this part I want to talk about what happens between the third and fourth goal: the failed attempt of the Magnus (the culmination point of Kaiser’s desperation to reestablish and reinforce his shaken self-esteem) and the events leading up to it. I think it’s important to recap these events and Kaiser’s down spiral to have a better understanding of the Magnus and it’s significance later on.

Reaction to defeat:

We have left off with the results of his shameful third goal: he fixates on Isagi more than ever, not bothering to award Ness. The game ends, with his rival as the ultimate victor. And just like after his latest goal, he tries to hold it together: covers his expression with his hair, head held down, being silent. But he obviously can’t take it anymore: his frustrations break through the surface completely, even though Ness isn’t there this time to “provoke” Kaiser’s ire.

(I am NOT placing the blame on Ness for how Kaiser responds to him in a verbally abusive way. That is not what I’m getting at. Just to be clear.)

And I want to note the obvious difference between these two responses to a loss: at first, his anger is icy and chilling, we get to see his vicious expression and eyes (they are the focal point of the panel) and it literally freezes Ness. He’s mad, it’s showing, but he still stands straight as the bet is not lost just yet. At the end however, his anger is loud and startling, he is hunched over, expression covered with shadows. He’s even more on the edge of an identity crisis, embarrassingly losing the bet that he had proposed in the first place, and having his self-obtained “humanity” (causing pain to others) ripped away from him.

So obviously, he doesn’t give a shit about his new offer. Prestige, wealth, and an escape from BM are only secondary goals: they do not “make him human”, only causing despair does. That is the source of his ego. And so, we get to the first self-harm scene.

Psychology behind the self-harm:

I think it can be interpreted in multiple ways, as there isn’t a clear indicator whether he’s punishing himself intentionally or subconsciously. I am PERSONALLY leaning towards the second possibility because of this one reason: he’s feeling like “shitty trash”. And how I see it, this feeling isn’t evoked by him choking himself, it’s quite the opposite, actually.

It is the same phrase his father had told him while putting his hands on Kaiser’s neck, the exact words Kaiser used to identify himself with as a young boy. But for a while now, he’s been considering himself as someone with success, who has built up his humanity, and so feeling like trash again this suddenly could’ve triggered his memories of the times he felt this way the strongest = under his father (who had spat these terrible things in his face) being totally helpless, with a pressure around his neck.

In short: he’s feeling worse than ever -> it triggers his ptsd of the most intense moment he’d felt this exact same way -> he’s reliving the memory -> subconsciously chokes himself, to imitate the situation in real time.

(But, as I’ve said, this is only my interpretation. I do not study psychology, nor do I have personal experience with ptsd and trauma responses.)

Between the Ubers game and the PxG one, we first see Kaiser at practice, as he acknowledges that he can’t gain back his feelings of comfort unless he beats Isagi. Later on the same day, we get to the second time he chokes himself. With recordings of Isagi playing in the background, he is literally facing his own defeat over and over again. It would be no wonder if the reasons behind his self-harm were the same ones that I had theorized regarding the first instance (feeling like trash more than ever -> subconsciously imitating a traumatic moment)

But there is another possibility as well. It’s now crystal clear to him that crushing Isagi is the end all be all. So, maybe, to come up with a way to do just that, he is intentionally placing even more pressure on himself (both figuratively and literally) to find a way out. He overwhelms his psyche on purpose, so that his base instincts for survival would kick in, searching for newfound inspiration to escape the situation. And it works:

Magnus’ failed attempt:

After Isagi scores the first goal, Kaiser’s situation is even worse. Not only is his one satisfaction of ruining other’s careers is being ripped away, but also his other accomplishments (his position, his team). Now even more things are at stake. Again, his anger is loud, bigger than ever.

But he puts a lid on his frustrations again, maybe so as not to scare Ness away; after all he needs him to set up his goal. But his emotions and desperation are clearly showing, they make him utterly irrational. Which costs him a miskick.

And at this moment, we have finally arrived at the pinnacle of his accumulated despair: for the very first time we can clearly see and observe every detail of his overwhelming frustration on his face: his hair is completely out of the way and there are no shadows to cover his expression either.

(I know this last part about the failed attempt is more of a recap, but some parts that I’ve mentioned will be important regarding the actual Magnus analysis itself… or at least I think so…)

Edit! Read part 3 here!

[americasass91]

Use Me

Hello there! I know I’ve been M.I.A. for awhile. And literally haven’t written anything in like 8 months. I’ve been going through a shit ton. (Divorce, job change, all kinds of fun stuff) And I really lost my spark to write. And then the Fnaf movie came out. And seeing Josh Hutcherson on screen again lit a fire inside of me! That boy was my original crush (long before Evans). Peeta Mellark will forever have a piece of my heart. That being said, here’s a little something starring Mike Schmidt! I know, I know. It’s not a Chris Evans character? What’s wrong with me? Josh is fucking pretty. That’s what’s wrong with me. Like, I have a problem. Don’t get me wrong, I still think Chris is pretty and hope the best for him. But…he’s not been my muse lately. I said a long time ago that I wanted Josh to fuck me like a screen door in a hurricane. And it apparently still holds true today! So, I hope you enjoy it even though this is not a part of your regularly scheduled programming! Also, this takes place after the events of FNAF. Also, Also. Not sure if the people on my Taglist for Chris’ characters want to be tagged in Josh’s. If so, just let me know!

*DISCLAIMER*, If you’re under 18, this is nothing for you to be reading. Go away.

Words: 3.3k

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Smut, p in v smut, oral(f rec), unprotected sex, language, Mike being good, um I think that’s it

💙💙💙💙💙 

“Listen Y/N, I’m gonna need you to stay and work the next shift.”

You turn around and look at your manager as if she had suddenly grown 3 heads. “Excuse me? I don’t think I heard you right. It sounded like you said you needed me to stay and work the next 8 hour shift.”

She rolls her eyes as she goes back to charting the current patient she’s working on. “You know that’s exactly what I said. Look, I have no other options. Hannah called off.”

“Again? This is like the third day in a row! How is that fair exactly?” You put your patient’s paperwork down and cross your arms over your chest as you stare at her expectantly.

She doesn’t even bother looking at you as she answers. “I don’t know what to tell you Y/N. She says she’s sick. I can’t have her come in if she’s sick.”

Now it’s your turn to roll your eyes. “If by sick you mean hungover! She literally posted on Instagram last night about her night out on the town!”

She glances over at you. “There’s no way to prove if that was from last night or if it's older. Now just get back to work and I’ll let you have an hour and a half break instead of an hour.”

Now you’re pissed. “Yeah, see, that's not going to work for me. I’ve already been here for 16 hours because Kim was late. I’m not working Hannah’s whole ass shift. I have plans. I finally get to see my boyfriend after weeks because our schedules weren’t lining up. I’m not staying.”

“You really don’t have a choice. I wasn’t really asking you, I was telling you. There’s no one else to cover.”

Tears started welling up in your eyes out of frustration, exhaustion, and the possibility of not being able to see Mike again. “There’s a bunch of other people that can cover! What about you? You’ve only been here 8 hours. It would make more sense for you to stay.” 

She turns in her chair to look at you now. “Y/N, I have actual plans. My husband has a work party. And the rest of us have husbands and children to attend to. Not just ‘hanging out with my boyfriend.’

Now you’re seeing red. “So what you’re saying is because I’m the only nurse on this floor not married, I get the shitty end of the deal and have to cover when other people call off?”

“No. If you had legit plans then I’d be more sympathetic. But you haven’t even been with this boy that long. You don’t need to spend every free moment with him.”

“I’m sorry but who do you think you are? My mother? Because I’m a grown ass woman. And if I want to hang with my boyfriend on my time off then I’m going to! I don’t really need your approval for it. I’m not staying.”

You grab your Stanley and start heading towards the locker room to grab your stuff. 

“Y/N! If you don’t stay, then you can forget about this job.”

You turn around just before reaching the end of the hallway. “Well, then I guess you’re going to have to stick around and cover Hannah’s shift. Stick it up your ass, Jan. I quit.”

You don’t even stay to hear what she has to say. You quickly run to your locker and grab all of your stuff out before you start to cry. You can’t believe you just quit. And it’s not just because of your boyfriend. You haven’t been treated right since the first week you started. This was just the last straw. You just hope Mike won’t be disappointed in you.

💙💙💙💙💙

After a quick shower and outfit change at home, you reluctantly find yourself pulling into Mike’s driveway and getting out of the car. You haven’t gotten to see him in about 3 weeks and you know you look like shit from not only your long ass shift but also because you cried on the way over.

You head to the front door and open it up. He always leaves the door unlocked when he knows you’re coming over, and get hit with the aroma of pasta. Mike’s cooking you dinner. That makes you want to start crying all over again. He’s the sweetest.

“Babe? Is that you?” You hear him call from the back of the house. He quickly comes towards the front and sees you. His smile falters when he sees the state you’re in. “Babe, are you okay? What happened?” He quickly wraps you up in a hug. 

You try your best to keep it together but a few tears fall. “I quit today.”

He pulls out of the hug but keeps his arms around you. “You did? Babe, that’s fantastic!” He pulls you back in for another hug and picks you up to twirl you around.

Your mood instantly lifts and you can’t help but laugh. “It is?”

He sets you down and pulls you in for a quick kiss. “Of course it is! That place was treating you like shit! And Jan was a bitch! What finally made you do it?”

He lets go of all but your hand and leads you into the kitchen so he can continue making spaghetti. He sets you down at the table and pours you a nice big glass of wine he bought just for tonight. “I want to hear all about it.”

He goes back to the stove and continues making dinner while you rehash the last 16 hours.

He turns around with the sauce spoon in his hand and his other on his hip. “Hannah called off again? Jesus, how does she still have a job? Didn’t she do this to you last year during Christmas?”

Oh, shit. You had forgotten about that. She did do this last year! You had plans to fly home and see your family for the holidays when Hannah unexpectedly came down with ‘the flu’. Jan had called and needed you to work since nobody else could cover. You felt like since you were still new at the time that you couldn’t say no. Now you’re getting pissy all over again. 

“Oh my god! You’re right! Maybe the bitch has some vendetta out against me. I’ve never done anything to her though! I’ve been nothing but nice!”

Just then your phone dings, alerting you of a text. You quickly check it. It’s from Hannah.

I can’t believe you threw a tantrum and quit just because I wasn’t feeling my best and couldn’t come in. Wow. All so you can hang out with your piece of shit delinquent boyfriend. You sure have your priorities straight.

“Fucking cunt!” You yell as you throw your phone across the table. Then immediately you slap your hands over your mouth just as Mike turns around to see what you’re yelling about.

“What’s wrong? Who was it?”

You remove your hands from your mouth. “Mike, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to curse that loud. I hope Abby didn’t hear me.”

He waves you off. “Babe, she’s not even here. She got invited to a sleepover at Natalie’s house. We’re alone. You’re good.”

You sigh in relief. “Thank god! I don’t want any of my bad habits to rub off on her.”

Mike just chuckles and turns back to the sauce. “If she turns out anything like you, I’d be entirely okay with that.”

You can’t help but feel a blush creep up your neck. He was always saying sweet stuff like that. You get up and hug him from behind and press a kiss to the back of his neck. “You’re too sweet.”

He turns around in your arms and grabs your face and gives you a proper, toe-curling kiss. “I mean it.”

After a few more shared kisses, Mike finishes up dinner and fixes you both a plate and a glass of wine for himself. As you’re sitting there twirling your spaghetti around your fork, you can’t help but think about Hannah’s text again. And then all of the little snide remarks she’s ever made to you come flooding back.

“Babe?”

You snap out of your thoughts and Mike comes back into focus. “Yeah?”

He puts his fork down. “I asked if there was something wrong with the spaghetti? You’ve hardly touched it.”

You look down at your plate and realize you’ve just been twirling it around your fork. “No, it’s fine. Just thinking about what Hannah said and how much it pisses me off. I’m sorry, I’m not meaning to ruin our time together.”

He smiles and grabs both of your plates and gets up and places them on the counter. He comes back over and holds his hand out to you. “Come on.”

You grab his hand with no hesitation and let him pull you out of your chair and let him lead you to his bedroom.

He turns around to face you right before you get to his bed. “First of all, you could never ruin our time together. I love getting to spend time with you no matter what. Second of all, it sounds like you need to let out some anger and need a distraction.”

You can’t help but feel all tingly at the smirk he’s giving you. “What did you have in mind?”

He backs up a little and sits on the bed and looks up at you. “Use me, Y/N.”

You shake your head. “What? What do you mean?”

He reaches out to grab your hands to pull you towards him. “I mean use me. Use me to distract yourself and to take your anger out on. I’ll be a good boy and do whatever you need.”

That almost had your knees buckling. “Oh.” He lifts your shirt up and starts pressing kisses along your stomach while running his hands from your back to your hips and down to your ass. You’ve never been in this position before. Sure, you guys have only been together for like 5 months but anytime you’ve ever been intimate, he’s been the one who’s taken charge.

He pulls back and looks up at you. “Use me, baby. I got you. Tell me what you need.”

You decide to run with it and take control and blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. “I wanna sit on your face.”

He lets out a little whimper as he moves back on the bed. “Fuck, baby. Please sit on my face. I want you to suffocate me.”

He lays back and patiently waits for you to remove your pants and panties. You hesitantly climb up on the bed. You’ve never done this before with anyone but have always wanted to try it. You climb up until you’re straddling his waist and lean down to kiss him. 

He returns the kiss enthusiastically and grinds you down onto him so you can feel how hard he already is for you. It makes you let out a small moan into his mouth. The making out only lasts for a few more minutes before you pull away and start climbing up until you’re hovering right above his mouth.

Before you fully lower yourself onto him you grab his hair and yank so that he has to look at you. He lets out another beautiful whimper. “I’m going to ride your face until I can’t think of anything else but your tongue. You’re going to be good and make me cum as many times as I want, right?”

He nods instantly. “Yes, I promise I’ll be good for you.”

“Good boy.” You tell him, which makes his eyes roll to the back of his head. Hmm. Who knew he had a praise kink?

You let go of his hair and grab onto the headboard with both hands before you slowly lower yourself onto his waiting mouth. 

He immediately grips your thighs and pulls you even harder on him and starts eating you out like a man starved. “Oh, fuck!” You throw your head back and start grinding on his tongue. He gives you a few more licks before he sucks your clit into his mouth and starts lapping his tongue back and forth against it. “Oh, god. Fuck, Mike! You’re so fucking good at that.”

Your praise has him moaning and whimpering into your pussy, heightening the experience that much more. He moves his right hand towards your ass and gives it a nice squeeze before moving towards your pussy and immediately inserting two fingers.  It makes you start grinding faster, feeling yourself already close to the edge.

He starts pumping his fingers in time with your grinding, pushing you even closer to the edge. You can’t believe how quickly he got you there. 

“Mike, please! Gonna cum! Make me cum.”

He pumps his fingers even faster and lightly bites down on your clit, knowing it’ll make you fall over the edge.

You scream his name out and grind on him until it’s too much and you lift yourself away from his mouth. To which he whimpers out, “where’s that pussy going? I wasn’t done yet.”

You let out a breathy laugh. “Jesus. I almost passed out from how hard I came. Give me a minute.”

“So I did good?” He looks up at you with big eyes and his chin glistening with your juices.

You pat his hair. “You did so good, baby. Made me feel so good.”

He smiles and wraps his arms around your thighs and presses soft kisses to the inside of them. You close your eyes and take a minute to enjoy that before you look behind you and see his erection pressing painfully against his jeans. You need that inside of you. Right now.

You remove yourself from his face and he lets out a little whine. “Don’t worry. I’m not done. Need your cock, baby.”

You’ve never seen him undo his belt and slide his jeans down that quickly before. It almost makes you chuckle. “Eager, are we?”

He nods as he pushes his jeans down far enough that his cock springs free and hits your ass. “Need to feel you around me, babe. Please.”

You lean down and pull him into a kiss which he returns generously. You can taste yourself on his tongue. He grabs his cock and hits it against your ass, signaling that he’s ready for you to slide onto him. You take the hint and lift up and back until he catches at your entrance. He’s the first one to break the kiss as you slowly slide down onto him. The little whimpers he lets out as you sit flush against his thighs is music to your ears.

You decide to tease him and just stay resting there for a minute while looking down at him. He has his eyes clenched shut and a death grip on your hips. He opens his eyes after a few moments and looks up at you. He reaches his right hand up and places it on your cheek, caressing it with his thumb. “Go ahead and use me babe. Take what you need from me.”

You slowly start moving your hips back and forth, never really lifting them up and down. The friction against your clit is so delicious. You place both hands on his chest and start moving your hips a little faster. “Oh, fuck baby. You feel so good. You’re so deep.” 

“Yeah? Am I making my girl feel good?”

You smirk down at him. “Oh, yeah. You’re being so good for me.”

He lets out another whimper as he grabs you by the back of your head and pulls you in for a heated kiss. This one sloppy and desperate. His hand that’s still on your hip starts moving you a little harder against him. He pulls away from your mouth and kisses his way up your neck towards your ear. “Come on babe. Cum on my cock. I can feel you clenching around me. Cum for me so I can be good and cum for you.”

This time you’re the one letting out a whimper. “Yeah? Want me to be your good boy and cum for you? Fill you up?”

“Please.” You whine out, moving your hips even faster than before. You can feel your orgasm coming like a freight train. There’s no stopping it. 

“Oh yeah. I can feel it. You’re gonna cum for me. Do it. Make a mess on me babe. Please, I need it.”

“Yeah? You need me to cum for you? Need to feel me cum? Oh, god Mike. I’m almost there. Please don’t stop.”

He continues helping you grind your hips against his. You’re almost there. Just a little something…..

“I love you, Y/N. So fucking much.”

That did it. You’re pitched off the edge and silently scream out. The edges of your vision going white. You can vaguely hear Mike whimpering out your name as he does as promised and fills you up. You slow your hips down until you can’t move them anymore and slump down against him with your face tucking into the crook of his neck. He wraps his arms around you and rubs his hands up and down your back.

You both stay like that until your heartbeats return to normal. You lift up your head just until you can see him, almost nose to nose. He’s the first to speak. “So, did I do good for you?”

You let out a chuckle. “You were so good, baby.” You can feel him twitch inside of you at the praise. “But, we need to talk about what you said.”

Mike scrunches his brows for a few minutes before his eyes go wide and he realizes what he said. “Shit, I did not mean to say that.”

You can’t help the disappointment that crosses your face. “Oh, well that’s okay. It was in the heat of the moment.”

He quickly wraps his arms tighter around you. “No! That’s not what I meant. Shit. I one hundred percent meant it. I just wanted to make it special when I told you. Not in the middle of an orgasm. You deserve better than that.”

You smile and press a kiss to the tip of his nose. “I appreciate the thought. But I really don’t need anything special. I already have you.”

His smile lights up his entire face. “I love you, Y/N.”

This time you press a kiss to his lips. “I love you, too Mike. Like, a lot.”

“I bet not as much as I love you.”

Just as you’re about to retort, Mike’s cell starts vibrating, causing you to jolt with fright since his phone is still in his pocket which your leg is pressed up against.

“Jesus Christ.”

You quickly get up so that he can grab his phone. “Hello?”

You go into the bathroom to clean up. You come back in with a wet cloth to clean Mike up. He just hangs up as you come in the room. “Everything okay?”

He smiles in thanks as you hand him the cloth. He goes about cleaning himself up. “Yeah. That was Natalie’s mom. Apparently Abby has decided she doesn’t wanna stay the night so I have to go get her.” He stands and pulls his jeans back up and smooths his shirt out. “Sorry we won’t be alone anymore.”

You pull him in for a quick kiss. “Nothing to apologize for. I love you Mike. And that means loving all of you. Which includes Abby. Whom you know I just adore. Go get her and we’ll have a movie night or something.”

He shakes his head and pulls you in for another kiss. “I still don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

You just smile in return. “After the past year you’ve been through, you deserve to be happy.”

He chuckles as he heads out the door. “Ain’t that the damn truth!”

[7ndipity]

False Pretenses

fwb!Jungkook x Reader

Summary: Just how fair does the ‘benefits’ aspect between Friends with Benefits actually extend? Based on this meme.

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: crack to fluff, suggestive moments and ending, swearing, Jk has side by side washer/dryer units cause it’s funnier, reader’s referred to as ‘Ma’am’, not proofread

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this! Sorry it took me soo long to get to, I hope you’ll still like it tho! (I’ll also be posting a couple more pieces with this pairing in the next couple weeks, so keep your eyes peeled if you liked this)

Masterlist

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

It was the type of text you had gotten more than used to receiving from him over the past few months, smirking down at your phone as you waited for the elevator in his building.

“Need you so bad rn. Come over?❤”

The heart was a new addition, he must be feeling particularly needy today, you thought to yourself as the elevator doors finally opened.

Since the two of you had established this new part of your friendship, it was rare for you to go more than four or five days without receiving some variation of the same short message from him.

You were still slightly surprised by his text, seeing as you had only been over the night before, but you weren’t complaining by any means. Though you may have enjoyed pretending that Jungkook was the needier one in your arrangement, if you were completely honest, you were just as affected by him, finding yourself missing him on the nights you didn’t spend together.

When he opened the door, you noticed he looked a little more disheveled than usual, his hair sticking up all over the place, as if he’d been running his hands through it, a habit you knew he did when he was stressed.

“You got here fast.” He noted, letting you into the apartment.

“Well, your text made it sound kinda urgent, didn’t want to leave you waiting too long.” You said, wandering through into the living room, slowing to a stop as you caught sight of the chaotic state of the space, cleaning supplies and laundry scattered around, furniture moved all out of place.

“What happened in here?” You asked, turning back to Jungkook, who was now avoiding your eyes. “Koo?”

“I lied, I didn’t want sex.” He said guiltily, looking up at you. “I need you to help me clean.”

“I-, what?” You blinked at him, unsure if you heard him correctly.

He slumped back against the counter, looking stressed as he ran his hand through his hair again. ”My parents decided to surprise me by announcing they’re coming to visit tomorrow, but I’ve done nothing but sleep since I got home from tour last week, so the house is a fucking mess and everything’s a disaster and I need help, please.” He pleaded, staring at you.

You immediately began pulling your coat back on, turning back towards the door. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Y/n, please!” He quickly followed after you, catching your sleeve. “I’ll do anything you want! I’ll buy you dinner, I’ll rub your back, I’ll even let you pick what we watch for a month!”

You paused, turning to look back at him with a raised brow. “Even if I want to re-watch ‘Our Beloved Summer’ for a third time?”

He bit lip, trying to fight back a pained grimace before nodding slowly. “Whatever you want.”

You stared at him for a long moment.

“Fine.” You said reluctantly, caving as you saw the genuine desperation in his eyes. You could never say no to him.

“Thank you!” He sang, catching you in a tight hug and spinning you around in a circle. “I promise I’ll make it up to you!”

“Yeah, whatever,” You grumbled as he set you back on your feet. “Where do we start?”

“Laundry room?” He offered. “It’s mostly done, I just need to vacuum behind the machines.”

Do you really think your mom’s gonna look back there?” You raised a brow, following him down the hall.

“She’s very thorough.” He said seriously.

“Fair enough.” You shrugged. “I don’t quite see why I’m necessary for this part though?”

“I was afraid if I tried to clean back there by myself, I’d slip and get stuck or die.”

“So you want me to slip and die behind your washer instead?” You shot him an accusatory look.

“No! I’ll hold onto you and keep you safe,” He smiled reassuringly. “You know, like the buddy system.”

“I thought the buddy system was for camping so you didn’t get lost or eaten by bears?”

“It’s a multi-purpose system!” He said, his earlier agitation starting to flare up again at your teasing. “Are you gonna help me or not?”

“Yeah, I’ll do it, pass me the vacuum.” You relented, boosting yourself up on top of the dryer.

He held onto your hips to keep you balanced as you cleaned, his mind beginning to wander as he stared at your ass, his fingers starting to slowly knead your flesh absent-mindedly.

“Koo.” You warned, shooting him a quick look.

“Right, sorry.” He snapped back to attention, ceasing his movements and focusing back on the task at hand.

You finished up quickly, passing the vacuum attachment back to him and letting him help you down.

“Thank you.” He said.

“You’re welcome.” You answered, looking around expectantly. “What’s next?”

The apartment wasn’t nearly as bad of a mess as he claimed it to be, but it still took both of you several hours of work to get everything back in order, finishing off with laundry and changing all the bedding.

“Why are these sticky?!” You asked, mildly horrified as you helped him strip the sheets off his bed.

“Relax, it’s just caramel sauce.” He said.

You looked up at him confused. “We didn’t use-?”

“No no, that was just me,” He explained quickly. “I had ice cream last night.”

“Without me?!” You said, clutching your chest in feign hurt, making him roll his eyes as he let out a huff of laughter.

“I’ll add that to the list of things I need to make up for, okay?” He said.

“Eh, it’s better than where my mind went.” You said, only half joking as you grabbed the fresh sheets from him and turned back to the bed. “Almost thought you were fucking around behind my back for a second there.”

Facing away from him, you missed the way his expression suddenly turned serious as he looked at you. “I would never.”

It was strange, despite the supposedly ‘casual’ nature of your arrangement, you both found yourselves making little comments like that, words and exchanges that sounded a lot more like things said between a committed couple, rather than just two friends helping each other out till you found something more serious.

“Alright, I think that’s everything.” You said, snapping him out of his thoughts. You had finished making up the bed, even turning down the covers for him.

“Thank you, y/n.” He said gratefully. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

“Probably called Hobi.” You smirked, making him snort.

“Now, you promised me food, and if you lie to me twice in the same day, I’m dumping your ass.” You said, earning another laugh from him.

“Alright, whatever you want, just like I said.” He said, leaning down to give you a quick kiss.

“Although, if you wanted, I could make up for my false pretenses from earlier in a different way?” He offered, eyes darkening slightly as his hands drifted over your hips

You lightly shoved his hands away. “Not a chance, Loverboy, I’m way too tired now. You’ll have to try and ‘make it up to me’ some other time.”

“How about tomorrow?” He said, eyes twinkling mischievously, looping his arms around your waist instead to keep you close.

“I thought your parents were coming over tomorrow?” You reminded, raising a brow at him.

“You could come over after.” He suggested. “Hell, you could even come to dinner with us, my parents like getting to meet my friends.”

“Friends?” You looked up at him skeptically.

“Yeah, what?” He laughed, squeezing you lightly.

“Do you let your other friends suck your di-?”

“They don’t need to know the details of our relationship!” He said quickly, his face flushing slightly, making you snicker. “You’re still my friend, one of my best friends actually.” He added, in a soft tone.

The way he said it made your heart twist in a weird way, though you didn’t quite understand why.

“So?” He asked, staring down at you hopefully. “Will you come?”

You chewed your lip, considering. It felt like a really big commitment to meet his family, regardless of what your relationship was, but you tell it would mean a lot to him if you said yes.

“I’ll think about it.” You said finally.

He beamed.

“Thank you!” He said, leaning in to kiss you again, his lips lingering longer this time, tracing over yours lightly, making you shiver.

You pressed closer to him, hooking your arms around his neck as you tilted your head to deepen the kiss, letting your tongue delve into his mouth as his hands grip on your waist tightened.

When you pulled back for air, his pupils were blown wide, eyes almost black as he stared down at you, breathing heavily.

“Take your shirt off.” You ordered, your breaths equally unsteady.

“But I thought you said-?”

“I changed my mind.” You cut him off, tugging at the fabric impatiently. “Shirt off, now.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @a-gayish-unicorn

[kel-lance]

JJK Mafia Au (JJK x Reader) PART 2

Part 1

Warnings:- TW: Dead dove dont read (DDDR) Minors do not interact (MDNI): SA, Physical Assault, DubCon, NonCon, Mindbreak, Public Humiliation, Breeding, Ownership, Gaslighting, Multiple manipulation, RWORD, PTSD, a lot more toxic sh.

Premise: Reader lives in a city where the two biggest gangs keep things line until the third gang showed up. That had nothing to do with you though, until dumb luck just happened to favor you one day. Basically You’re picked up and used by every dangerous criminal within the clans due to some alliances they had to create due to some members messing up the previous alliances. ((Almost everyone’s gonna have a turn 🤗)) ( i have 11 more chapters planned out right now meaning after i write those ill still be writing more.)

“We’re done for today.” The large man reaches for his robes. You don’t bother to move. Just breathing hurt. It was his off day and he was deciding to break you in, deciding to keep you for however long you were durable. He was amused with your reactions. He liked it. He found it interesting how you were also trying to survive. He’d play along as your god now. 

You lay in the bed and his finger prints stained your skin, each strike created blots of purple and blue and green. You liked bruises before, it showed how you fought for it. 

You apparently woke up two days later, and he lets you rest. Your body finally turns off survival mode for a second, just a second to adjust to the warm room. Four walls, the nice smell, it was just another thing you weren’t used to. Stillness. It was boring. But under these circumstances you were glad to have your own padded room to deal with this.

The time you were left alone, you didn’t know how long that would be. Another hour or so you’d think he’d come back in, hearing as you’re up. Time for more torture, though do torture victims get a bed and tended to? It felt more like you were a sacrifice, meant to appease him, though no one handed you over. 

You were brushed, scrubbed raw, and even felt a bit of shame for the way you were living compared to the two ladies who were taking care of you. But you didn’t know how long they’ve been in this line of work. Hell they honestly looked like they were born into it with the cold looks in their eyes. They could care less about your well-being, though they found and scrubbed every inch of you. Of course you didn’t want strangers to look at you, especially after such a moment that brought you here. To be real, these twins are probably the only people who knew you more than anyone you currently knew. 

Friends? You had a few, some to help you out sometimes, some to let you crash at their place. It was all fair game to the people you knew. Life was never easy for them and they knew of you being a free spirit. You didn’t leech off of them for you’d always show up with something in exchange, usually something you stole but it would never get traced back, it was either too common (but useful) or just something that would never be brought out of shown off. 

You weren’t a bad friend for it, if anything you were the perfect guest, though this time you didn’t mean to give yourself away for a few nights stay.

“I gotta get out of here, but where would I go? These people have already seen my face and I can’t tell how many more there would be. I can’t request anything to learn the layout of this place and no one will talk to me. If I leave I’ll have to run further and faster than I already have been…” You ponder more, sitting at the table placed in front of the window. 

They’re smart enough to know what I’d do if I wanted to pick a fight with their lord, of course there are guards at more doors, even under the window out your room, and it’s safe to say that there’s even a guard at each vent that’s connected to your room. 

“Why does it seem like I’m so special?” You sit and open the window, the guard below moves from his post to observe you on the same side has the other posted to view you. You look down at then and offer a wave, saying you’re not doing anything stupid, but you just wanted some air. One of them leaves, probably to get Sukuna. 

“I bet he’s just a lonely loser and I just happen to fall into his lap, or maybe I was one of many and was the newest. The girls here looked like they could be in the same position as you, though why weren’t they? They didn’t look like they were his blood, and there was no way that he could be their dad. That would make things even worse since you’re close in age as the twins. 

You see the guard go back to his post, nonchalantly. “Weirdo.” You thought. Not even a second later your room door whips open. Jumping from your place at the table, you turn and see who other than the man with the unpredictable entrances. “Finally up?” He leans on the door frame. “Honestly, you’re so dramatic for that.” He teased, being strangely familiar to you.

“Dude…” You caught yourself about to tell off this stranger. All you’ve known from him is that he’s having fun taking you and making you a toy, that his name was Sukuna and how everyone seemed under his control. Not that they enjoy it, but it didn’t look like anyone, even in their numbers, would stand up to someone like him. 

It still wasn’t apparent for you. He only told you his first name, his last could tell you that you were in even more danger than any “normal” man doing this to you. It could be such a metaphor but you’re literally trapped in the best place you’ve ever been. Was that just life? all the bad comes up when you’re supposed to be happy, and realizing how good you’ve had it as it gets ripped apart in front of you? The balance of it all only comes with ignorance, which was also why you wouldn’t get attached. You didn’t run to one person for everything you didn’t need more than what you’d ask for and that wasn’t much. If they were lucky you’d be there for 3 days at most. 

You lost your voice, his presence set in, bringing you out of your (if you can all it that) relaxed state. He notices you tense up, the look in your eyes begging him to give your body a break. He huffs and saunters into the room, taking a seat at the end of the bed, the side that’s facing you. “You had some time to clear your head, now tell me what was your intention. Playing dumb suits that pretty face of yours… But that’s not why I’m here.”

You sure knew nothing about this guy. Other than his name and how his body looked. How he felt was different, it just happened so fast that you could only remember how it lingered in your belly after he left you the second time. It wasn’t something you can forget, those were the best orgasms of your life. “Sukuna… I’m serious.” 

“You expect me to believe that? Did I hit you too hard?” You almost wanted to laugh, you saw stars and colors you couldn’t before his knuckles contacted your skull. Lifting his hand from his side to place under his chin made you flinch, a bit too hard for his liking apparently.  It took a lot for you to muster standing up on your own, much less realize you had to get to the table by needing support from the wall. It was like you were in an ice skating rink and had to hold onto the walls for dear life, except there was no ice, it was just pain in your body not letting you level yourself out.

“When you’re ready to talk, I might hear you out. My patience is thin you already know.” He stands and closes your door, sent a shiver down your spine. Him not being close to you, or hurting you, having this quick visit was so unsettling. 

It haunted you for hours. He didn’t touch you. The edge of the bed where he sat still held an energy, like he left a part of him right there to keep watch over you. 

He definitely hit you too hard, you were thinking more outlandish things to go with this scenario. Like why didn’t the touch you? You thought he was going to keep a pattern, that maybe after this he would come in periodically to taunt you. That maybe his patience has worn out and he was going to get rid of you any minute now, or to use you again. 

The trauma you got from this certainly messed with your self soothing methods. Every time you catch yourself hitting your peak of your self imposed orgasms, you were almost wishing you had more than just your fingers. You didn’t want him, but seriously its already been 2 weeks. You were gonna go crazy in here. The girls kept bringing you your meals, and a bathroom is attached, though you couldn’t do much by yourself. 

You were to let the others feed and bathe you, and you honestly hated it. It was way too weird, you never talked to them, and they never tried with you so it felt like there was an agreement to just not speak about it. That none of you were here willingly. That gave you some insight. Your body healed itself enough that you didn’t need the wall to walk anymore, making your trips to the table in front of the window more frequent. 

You notice some sort of schedule Sukuna follows, as well as a few other noticeable men in this kind of gated community. Whatever he has gong on here, it felt like you were almost a stolen princess locked away in a tower or something. “You have GOT TO get a hold of yourself.” You didn’t need to see a doctor or someone, you were fully aware that these thoughts were just you daydreaming to escape reality, yet again. Though this time it was getting boring, you couldn’t help yourself, literally. 

At this point you wanted to even ask one of the guards if they wanted to come in and help you out, but you didn’t have to do that, because a day later you decided to act. Rolling around night time, you decided to open your window a noticeable amount. By then the guards usually leave one guard to patrol the grounds in each quarter. 

The ones outside your door either end up sleeping or one leaves the other for a bathroom break, some nights they both go, probably to blow each other you thought. It wasn’t any of your concern, they did it before when you could barely move, but now you were agile again, enough to move around without hissing at each moment.

 Placing your ear to the door, you heard light snoring through it. “Okay, just find his room you thought. You knew that it took about 60 steps to reach a stair case, then that would be about 24 steps down. You could hear his footsteps through the pairs of others who followed him, as his echoed with pace, and the others almost scuttled behind them like bugs.. 

You find your way slipping past heavy wooden doors, making sure it wouldn’t creak, you saw the walkway in the garden. You looked up and saw your room, you knew it was yours as it was the only one with the window open. you knew that the guard just left this fourth of his grounds. You were searching the area for his room. Peering through the windows, it would have been hard to tell if it was him, but his tattoos were honestly unique. 

None of them were him, you go back to the walkway, going down the opposite end, just blindly working your way through. You couldn’t just walk through any door, it could be your last mistake, it being Sukuna or not. But it just had to be him, you wanted so badly to find his familiar face and just, you don’t know. 

You decide to be more ballsy, there’s surely no way he’s be in the same quarters that has this many people,” you decide to take your chance with the left corridor. “I wouldn’t take him for a cuddly guy anyway.” 

Listen, you know it sounds crazy, but if you even got to escape, you’d be hunted like a fox, unnecessarily, and as a spectacle for others to watch. But if you could find him, and do it yourself, “I mean, at least I’d die with something, and what a funny way to go.” You loved to joke about these kinds of things. Anytime it seemed dark, you’d find yourself cracking a joke or going off an other tangents from the barrage of thoughts coming your way.

You hold your breath as you set your fingers around the doorknob, you pull it back slowly, and turn it, to silence any squeaks it may have. After turning it fully, you let it go back and unclenched your fingers to let it go a second time, making sure there was no noise from the metal trap, and decided to go in. 

What fucking luck you had as if you broke into another room you’d think your breathing would start to give you away. As you head towards the bed, the raising figure laying there was him. Your eyes had adjusted to the dark, so much so that you could just stand in front of him. 

Looking down at him you wondered what you should do. You’re not going to kill him, that’s one thing, though you had nothing to lose, you still liked your life and you enjoyed whatever adventurous you got yourself into. It was always just one thing after the next and you’d rest when needed, but you loved it. 

This was totally different though. Before it was like you were born into this work and have to abide by its rules. As of right now you could do /anything/. What else would you do? 

You look down at him, kneeling at the edge of the bed to face him. Looking at his face like this, completely defenseless, his harsh eyes weren’t poking at you or telling you exactly what he was thinking. No he was just, he looked human. Like if you were to have met him at any other place it would possibly be on a magazine cover or an army recruitment booth posted wherever. 

“Damn bastard is beautiful.” You thought. “I didn’t get this far to stop now. Fucking 2 weeks you keep me here and don’t do anything? Do you know how boring that is? You can’t just keep me here and forget.” All that time alone had gone to your head, did you forget how he treated you the time you met? 

Tbh it fades in and out, your memory’s cut up pieces of film that randomly plays an old memory, and since you can’t recognize it, you call it a dream. 

Nothing could take you away from where you were now. Looking over him, still not a care in the world. Nothing could wake him if he’d allow it. You cocked your head to align your eyes with his, and reach out and brush your fingertips across his jawline. 

How much of this could you enjoy before he kills you for breaking out? Just that thought had you slowly leaning in, your hand before tracing his face was leaning onto the bed to support your intrusion. 

First, you kissed his forehead. The poor fuck probably hadn’t felt the touch of a real lover in ages, he just finds and uses whatever and whoever he wants, whenever. Of course you didn’t pity him, but does he even know what being loved properly was like? You’re really one to be asking. 

You peck the smooth, hot skin, and kissed a line across his cheek, getting more sensual with the next. His touch, even sleeping was still so manly. His body was so, honestly the words seem odd, but he looked so edible. Like you almost couldn’t keep your lips off of him. He was so yummy when you get a good look at him. 

Cupping his face, your lips reach his, beginning to lightly stimulate the connection. You lean in further, applying yourself onto him, guiding open his mouth with yours as you lick his lips. This shit was getting you so excited, considering all that he’s done to you, having this moment, where you’re in control and he was at your mercy, and only you know this.

Continuing to make out with your kidnapper, you moved yourself to get on top of him. His lazy reaction of kissing back had you think he was a deep sleeper, god you really wished. 

You opened your eyes just to make sure he was still asleep, but his eyes were staring back at you, with the same look he always has. You didn’t have time to even make a sound before he had you under him. His hand grabbed your waist and turned kept you parallel to him as his leg pushed his body to get on top. 

You could feel his erection, he was basically stabbing your thighs with his head. His hands pushed your wrists into opposite sides of your head, and he has you immobilized as he sat on your legs. Most you could move was your toes and neck, but he had pressed his face up against yours. 

“I don’t even know where to start with you. If you wanted to kill me, you would’ve already. Maybe I can believe you’re just some random, …but you wouldn’t have come to my room.” He lets a wrist go to reel back and strikes your face as a warning. Seriously, no sane person would just come straight back to him in your situation.

“The guard fell asleep?” Nothing gets by him. You can’t tell if he was just prepared for everything or if he planned this out. The excitement you were feeling before was being clashed with the sudden shock to your face. “Depending how the rest of the night will go will determine his punishment.” 

Keeping everything in place, he moves your chin up by his nose, giving him space to start attacking your neck. “We’ll just start with yours.” His grasp tightened around each wrist, so much so that he was pulling on the tendons in your forearms, making your fingers involuntary curl. 

Your luck may have run out, but you weren’t as scared. Trying to enjoy the moment as much as possible, knowing fully well that you’re about to be eaten alive, and god, youve been waiting. His teeth grazed your collar bone, making their way back up, making themselves a known threat to your neck. 

“Speak.” He orders. “Who sent you?” 

“You still think I’m a spy?” The spot where he hit you was pounding, but it didn’t hurt. Other parts of your body were just pulsating along with your heartbeat, you knew he was going to take that as a sign of fear. 

“Hurry up, we have a meeting tomorrow so I’m trying to be considerate for everyone else.” 

He’s still not listening. You weren’t either at this point, finding his roughing up sort of endearing. Maybe he didn’t want to get blood on his bed, or maybe he did care about that stupid meeting. All you could feel was vigorous pulsating from your wrists, your face, your heart, and more than anything else, your pussy. 

This was literally what you came here to do, this was why he even took you with him wasn’t it? Seriously whatever big shot he thinks he is… this shit wasn’t legal; You were serious on going out with a bang, raising your hips to create some friction on his hard on. 

Sukuna seemed to notice the look in your eyes and gave you another firm slap. “Focus, doll.” He adjusts his hips a few inches too far down your liking, his hands being the only thing touching you. 

“Put it back.” You got this far, now he wants to start questioning you immediately after waking up? He picked you up after meeting and ignored you for two weeks, you’re about to do what most others would. Especially if they’re in the same situation with the same circumstances.

“You’re not the one to be giving orders, much less to me.” 

You raise your hips back up to his head, having it dip into you, crossing your clit but unable to enter fully. His tip could find its way in no problem, it was just his call, and that almost drove him over the edge. You’ve stopped fighting back, for something like your freedom and what’s better for you. 

What you were after now was just one more orgasm brought by that monstrous mf. He doesn’t drop his guard, or change his face at all as he accepted “your bait/distraction”. In this position, you’re still straight legged, laying in his bed as he has you held down, arms pinned, palms up, and legs trapped as he sat on your thighs. 

He could easily kill you now, but it would honestly leave a bad taste as no one’s been killed in his room before, much less even entered without permission. You both didn’t know what to think really. 

To you he’s some strange and strong asshole who’s been unclear if you were his sex toy or if you were “invited” and he was just being a terrible host. Honestly, it felt worse to you to have everything you needed; Without your freedom, you were honestly thinking it’d be better to be dead. 

To him, you were dangerous. You got it all right. From the room, to the person to bump into, to the alley. You could have been a spy laying low, from whichever gang he thought you were from, he thought it would be good to hold you off to send a message to see who would come collect you first. They wouldn’t send someone if they didn’t have something to say. 

At first he did just want to keep you until one of them sent them back another message. It didn’t matter what happened to you, honestly he got bored. He’s a busy man, there was really nothing else to say. 

So imagine his surprise how you came crawling all over him tonight. He knew an assassin would’ve done it before he even knew the door opened, they were to make sure it was quick. The attack would have had to been fatal, whether they succeed in one shot or have them die as they’re leaving. And how quick they leave is how desperately they want to live. 

You, just came in to stare at him and decided you wanted something else. And it didn’t seem like revenge. That was a first, especially for him. Right now he was allowing it, letting you go. There was no way you could harm him, he concluded. 

Looking down at you squirm and pout, upset on how close you were to getting what you’ve been aching from and for. He won’t drop his guard, but he sure as hell was silver platter served. Really how badly did you want it?

He connects your wrists at the top of your head with one hand, the other has its index finger and thumb at the base, controlling himself with those two fingers. He raises his erection and knocked it against your clit, the strikes sent waves of pleasure from your core to the top of your head and palm of your feet, having you whimper out. 

Your aching hole needed him, it was taking him so long. Seriously you wish he’d kill you now because this so actually torture. The only thing you could do was start to cry, tears leaving their corners and running into your hair. You were more than frustrated. Angry, horny, needy, powerless, you wanted it so bad you were losing control, it didn’t matter, no one else could judge you, and who would be worse than Sukuna?

“You came in here, climb all over me, just to cry now? You’re so pathetic.” 

“Please,” You whine. “I want you to put it in.”

His face changed, from laughing at you beg, to sharpening his focus. Even after all this, getting caught, threatened, insulted, you’ve started to beg for it. He takes his legs up from pinning yours, putting them to your sides as he aligns himself to your front hole. “Say it again.”

“Please Sukuna, put it in-“ He lowers his hips and dives deep into you. He watches as your head writhes. Instantly youre spread apart, the sudden plunge casted a warm blush across your face and electricity towards the tips of your fingers. “Oooh,” 

“Fuuuuuck.” He finished for you. He continues to grind deeply into you, quickly using his now free hand to gag you from waking everyone up. Good thing too as you were messy, fucked silly couldn’t cover it. You gave up control a long time ago. He wouldn’t kill you, not right now anyway, you especially wouldn’t let him without trying to get one last nut. It was diabolical how down bad he had you. It was more of your unhealed trauma and he just happened to be the best person to help you out, willing or not.

——————————————————————————

You lay there as the base of your back ached. Every part of your body was bruised again, you could only imagine to move again as you tried catching your breath. You had lost count on just how many times he’s forced an orgasm out of you, mind numbingly rich euphoria every time. Nothing else mattered, you were more than thrilled the first 2 times but started to wonder if he ever got tired. 

It wasn’t until after your fifth orgasm that he managed to get his first one in. You were honestly almost regretting climbing into his room but his second had him pinning you on your back as he lay on your lower torso and legs. You couldn’t feel anything but your pulsating cervix, half feeling good from the pain and lingering pleasure, the other half making you know that this was a mistake and the nausea was on you. 

Raising your free arm, you weakly start to pat his head. It was over, you insatiable perverted needs were fulfilled, so what were you going to do now? It’s not like you’re in love with the guy, you don’t even know if you’ll get to wake up tomorrow with this stunt. “It was worth it.” You thought. Running your fingers thorough his hair, and tracing his back, you fall asleep holding him, accepting that this is it.

[pulisicsgirl]

breathe, you're okay - mason mount

summary: when the mounting pressure of a Women's UCL run is falling on Y/N's shoulders, she isn't handling it by herself as well as she would like everyone to believe she is

pairing: Mason Mount x footballer!reader

word count: 2.9k

warnings/tags: hurt/comfort, no established relationship, !!descriptions of a panic attack!!, discussions about mental heath, supportive Mase

requested: no

notes: surprise!! I'm sorry I haven't posted in months-- my life kind of went up in flames over the summer and I haven't had the time to write that I was hoping to. I have a few WIPs in my drafts, and I am still working on all of your requests! Please let me know what you think of this!

The hot afternoon sun beat down on you, and you felt the drops of sweat sliding down the side of your head and tickling the hairs on the back of your neck. Your heartbeat pounded in your ears as you ran up and down the field, weaving between cones, carrying the ball at your feet, running through a series of consecutive drills that were designed to refine your skills and test your endurance.

You did your best to recall the instructions that your coach had carefully laid out before the team began the drill, but with the heat and the fatigue that was seeping all the way into your bones, it seemed impossible to remember. You wound up relying on the teammate in front of you to recall what you needed to do next.

You let out a heavy sigh of relief when you heard the sound of the whistle—two short chirps, signaling for you to halt your movements. You draped your arms over your head, drawing in deep, heaving breaths as you attempted to get your heart rate under control.

You joined the rest of your teammates as they gathered around the coach, preparing for his parting words before everyone was dismissed.

“Good session today, ladies,” he clapped his hands in front of him, looking around the circle. “I’m seeing a lot of good things. A lot of improvement in our touches and finishing. You all are looking really good.”

A couple of the girls clapped at his words, the rest too exhausted to do anything but listen.

“We have the day off tomorrow, so use it well. Rest, recover, and come back Monday ready to go. We’ve got some heavy prep next week before the second leg on Friday,” he continued, and a couple others whooped, getting excited for the upcoming big game.

“They’re gonna be a really tough opponent, I’ll be honest. We know that their back line is really strong, tough to break through.” Your coach’s eyes fell on you, and you knew what was coming next before he even began to speak, your stomach sinking slightly. “But that’s what we have Miss Y/N, for, right?”

Several of the girls cheered for you. The girls near you slapped you on the back, trying to get you hyped up. And the weight that had settled in the pit of your stomach grew heavier.

The Manchester United women were on an impressive UEFA Women’s Champions League run, overcoming seemingly insurmountable odds to make it to the semifinal. And according to the media (and now your own teammates and coaches), it was all thanks to you.

In the group stage, a decisive game in which your team had gone down 2-0 in the first half had seemed hopeless until you had scored two goals in the second, assisting on the third to put your team through to the knockout games. Another three goal contributions in the quarter-final matches had put you in the spotlight of all of the team’s media coverage, thrusting a wave of attention upon you that you had never asked for.

You had gone down 1-0 in the first leg of the semi-final, and now you were playing from behind. And it seemed that everyone expected you to be the one to pull them out of it.

So now, you were left feeling the pressure as the second leg was fast approaching.

“Alright, ladies. Have a good rest of the day and a great day off tomorrow.” He clapped his hands, dismissing you all. The circle of girls dispersed, chatting among themselves.

“Am I still leaving the cones out for you?” the coach raising his eyebrows at you. You only nodded in return. “Okay, don’t work yourself to death.”

You laughed humorlessly as you fiddled with the ball at your feet, not meeting his eyes.

“Hey,” he said, resting a hand on your shoulder to try to draw your attention to him. “Get some rest tomorrow, okay? We all see how hard you’re working. Give yourself a break.”

Another nod is all that you can muster, and you don’t miss the short sigh that he lets out as he drops his hand from your shoulder and walks to join the rest of the group moving indoors.

You repositioned a few of the cones to set up your own drill and got right into it.

Across the field, on another training pitch near yours, Mason watched as you carried the ball with you up and down the field, weaving between cones, practicing a few skills that he had seen you implement in games, and taking a shot on the goal at each pass.

He was supposed to be doing a bit of extra work with a few of the boys. The men’s team had finished their training session about an hour before, but a few of them still felt like they wanted to get a bit more done before calling it a day. So here they were, running a few small three-a-side games to utilize the last of their energy that day.

But he couldn’t help but notice how you never stopped.

During the team training, you were always one of the hardest-working ones out there. When he had returned to the pitch from lunch, you were taking shots on the goal with the rest of your team nowhere in sight. He wasn’t even sure he had seen you eating lunch inside when he thought about it.

And now here you were, sprinting across the length of the field, over and over, after the rest of your team had hit the showers.

He felt a twinge of worry for you but brushed it off as one of his teammates called his name to pull his attention back to the game they were playing.

Your head was spinning as you pushed yourself to keep moving. Your entire body was drenched in sweat. Every muscle ached from overexertion as you gritted your teeth, forcing them to keep moving. The sun was dizzyingly bright as the evening set in. You could feel the heat practically radiating off of your skin. Your lungs were burning with your heaving breaths and your mouth quickly grew dry.

“That’s what we have Miss Y/N for, right?” Your coach’s words echoed through your head as you carried the ball down the field.

“Y/L/N carries the Man U Women through to the semifinal!” You recalled the title of the article as you weaved between the cones.

“I really believe Y/N Y/L/N could be the one to lead Manchester United to their first Women’s Champion’s League trophy!” You heard the words of the pundit clear as day as you planted your foot, striking the ball cleanly. It soared through the air, curving toward the goal, and struck the crossbar. The ball flew away from the goal, bouncing pathetically on the ground in the penalty area.

You took a pause, the words and expectations crashing around your mind leaving an unsettling feeling in your chest. As you stood there, you couldn’t seem to get your panting breaths to grow steadier.

Your shirt suddenly felt too tight on your neck. You grasped the fabric, pulling it away from your body in an attempt to allow yourself to breathe easier, but nothing seemed to be helping.

Your head was spinning. You felt your stomach sink, a feeling like when you plummeted down the tall hill of a rollercoaster, a sick feeling settling in your abdomen. Your skin began to crawl, and you just couldn’t stop hyperventilating.

You began to panic. Eyes searching frantically for relief. You weren’t sure what you were looking for—something, anything.

You suddenly felt like you were too out in the open, needing to seclude yourself away from the sight of prying eyes. You set into a sprint, off of the field and around the corner of the nearest part of the building to you, trying to find some shade from the hot sun and hide yourself from anyone who might see your pathetic state.

But it was too late. Mason had seen the whole thing.

They had just paused their game for a short water break. He had seen you take the shot, instead hitting the crossbar. It only took him a few seconds once you paused to realize that something wasn’t right.

He watched the way your chest rose and fell rapidly in quick, short breaths. When you began attempting to pull your shirt away from your body, he instantly knew what was taking place. He’d recognize that feeling anywhere.

You were having a panic attack, whether you realized it or not.

As soon as he saw you take off for the side of the building, he was running after you without so much as a word of explanation to his teammates.

Once in the shade of the wall you hid behind, you began pacing, unable to keep still. Every inch of your body felt jittery, and you felt unsteady on your legs. You couldn’t manage more than rapid, shallow breaths. Your throat felt tight, your breaths sounding more like wheezes, and it was starting to make your head spin. Your hands flew to your head, scratching at your scalp in an attempt to somehow rid yourself of the feeling.

You were startled by Mason swiftly rounding the corner, concern written all over his face as he stopped in front of you.

“Hey, hey, hey, you’re okay,” he spoke calmly and evenly. He quickly reached up, taking your wrists in his hands so he could gently but firmly pull your hands out of your hair to keep you from hurting yourself.

“I can’t, Mason. I can’t,” you panted, shaking your head ‘no’ frantically and still trying to weakly pull your hand from his grip.

“You’re okay, Y/N. Try to slow down your breathing,” Mason’s calm voice directly contrasted your frantic behavior, speaking in short sentences so as to not overwhelm you more. “You’re safe. I’ve got you.”

A short sob fell from your lips, and you felt the tears spilling over and down your cheeks.

“We’re gonna lose,” you sobbed, and his eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion. “The semifinal, we’re gonna lose it, and it’s gonna be all my fault.”

In that moment, everything clicked into place for Mason-- the UWCL run, your success in the games leading up to the semi-final leg, the pressure from the fans and the team, the countless extra hours you had been putting in.

A loud noise in the distance, coming from the direction of the parking lot, startled you, snatching your attention and you whipped your head to the side, eyes searching frantically for the source. He released your wrists from his hand, testing the waters as he turned your head back to look at him with a hand on your cheek.

He cradled your face with a hand on either side, keeping your focus on him. His thumbs wiped the tears away that had slipped down your cheeks.

“Hey, look at me. You’re gonna be okay. I’ve got you,” he repeated the affirmations he had already been telling you.

As he stroked his thumbs softly over the skin of your cheek, he felt that your breathing was already growing a bit slower. You had reached up, holding onto his wrists with both of your hands to steady yourself, feeling too unsteady on your feet. His hands were gentle and soft on your skin.

Mason watched your expression, taking long deep breaths for you to emulate. Your eyes were still wide, darting frantically around his face, but you were trying your best to follow his breathing. He continued whispering short reassurances.

“You’re safe.”

“It’s gonna be okay.”

“I’ve got you.”

You were beginning to calm down, but your eyes darted to something behind Mason, pulled away from the calm atmosphere he had tried to create for you.

“Hey, hey, stay with me,” he spoke gently, pressing his forehead to yours so you would only focus on him. You were shocked at how little the intrusion on your personal space bothered you. In fact, to your surprise, the closeness seemed to settle you a little more.

You continued focusing on your breathing, gripping tightly to his wrists as if you thought he’d disappear if you let go. Your eyes were clamped closed, listening to Mason’s soft and slow breathing. You felt your pounding heart being to slow its pace.

The panic you had been feeling subsided, leaving behind a wave of extreme fatigue. You felt completely and utterly drained.

Mason must have noticed the way that your body slumped over, and he guided you to sit down on the grass, leaning back against the brick wall of the building. He sat down next to you, leaving space so he didn’t make you more nervous. But in the haze you felt in your mind, you felt a need to still be close to him, leaning over so you could place your head on his shoulder. A short pang of guilt washed over you as you noticed the crescent-shaped indents you had left on his wrists, your nails digging into the skin as you had held onto him.

The two of you sat in silence for a few minutes, your eyes slipping closed as you continued focusing on breathing slowly. A gentle breeze blew through, cooling your clammy skin and brushing through the blades of grass.

“I used to get them sometimes, too, you know?” Mason broke the silence, speaking softly.

You responded with a quiet, “hmm?” unsure of what he meant.

“Panic attacks,” he explained. “At the end of last season, before I left Chelsea. There was a lot of pressure. Any time I played, everyone had something to say about it. Even when I didn’t play, some would find a reason to be upset. It all just got to be too much.”

A deep sadness filled you while you listened to his words. “How did you get through it?”

“Ben found me having one in my car after training one day.” He was quiet for a moment. “I tried to power through it—like you. Skipping lunch and staying late to train a bit extra on the field or put in an extra session in the gym. But once Ben realized what was going on, he made sure that I was taking care of myself properly and wasn’t dealing with it on my own anymore.”

You sat up so you could look at Mason’s face, and you saw a hint of sadness there. “So I’ll tell you what he told me. There are 10 other people with you on that field at all times. If you fall down, there are 10 pairs of hands ready to help you back to your feet. If you succeed, there are 10 others to celebrate with you. But it’s not all on you.”

Your eyes were misty, welling up with tears at his words. He slipped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into a secure hug as the tears began to stream down your cheeks.

“No matter the outcome of the game next week, you’re an incredible player, Y/N.” He placed a soft kiss to the top of your head. “You’ve already done so much so early in your career. The media and the fans will say what they want—don’t let them get to you. And your coaches may get carried away with their expectations for you, but it’s just because they’re so excited to see you succeed. Just be the player you know how to be, and your achievements will speak for themselves.”

“Thank you, Mason,” you whispered after pondering his words for a moment. No words could express the gratitude you felt for the relief he had brought you just by letting you know that he was there and he understood. But as he squeezed your shoulders lightly in response, you hoped he knew just how thankful you were.

Eventually, Mason helped you to your feet, guiding you back toward the fields. You were still feeling a bit weak and unsteady, so he made sure you remained upright with a gentle hold on your arm as you walked. Deciding it was time for you to call it a day, he insisted on collecting the cones that you had been training with, not allowing you to help him by picking up even one of them.

It took some convincing but you told him you would be fine to drive yourself home—his only condition was that you texted to let him know you made it there safely.

“Alright, then. Rest on your day off tomorrow. Give yourself a break, okay?” he spoke as he put the last of the cones away. “I’ll check in with you on Monday, if that’s okay.” He didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. The two of you had been friendly before today, but you wouldn’t have considered yourselves close friends. He just wanted to be sure that you knew you had people in your corner.

“Yeah, I’d like that a lot,” you nodded, smiling at him. With a final hug, he sent you on your way as he turned to rejoin his (undoubtedly confused) teammates where he had left them.

“Remember: rest!” he shouted back at you as you parted ways, and you couldn’t stop the blushing smile that worked its way onto your face.

tag list: @landoslover @chelseagirl98 @thoseboysinblue @lovelynikol16 @swimmingismywholelife @masonsrem @bracedes @neverinadream @lizzypotter14 @notsoattractivearenti

[petalruesimblr]

Hi everyone! I'm excited to share my latest part-time career with you all - the Army Reserve - Military Working Dog (MWD) Handler! I remembered reading a Criminal Minds fanfic where one of the characters joined the Army Reserve so I thought 'yeah that could work' and I wanted to do something different hence working with dogs! It's been fun creating this one as I had to dig out a cc I created a year ago for the uniform of this career.

If you are interested, click on ’Keep Reading’ below for more information and pictures of the Army Reserve - MWD Handler Part-time Career.

Army Reserve - MWD Handler

Individual files: Career - Sim File Share | Army Shirt Male - Sim File Share | Army Shirt Female - Sim File Share Bulk Download: Sim File Share

Join the Army Reserve as a Military Working Dog (MWD) Handler! Dive into a rewarding role working alongside brave military dogs from securing bases to detecting threats. Unleash your potential and serve your country with pawsitive impact, apply today - no experience necessary and embark on a unique adventure!

Career Type: Part-Time Available for: Young Adults and Adults Available Languages: English Levels: 3 Rabbit Hole: Military Base Work Days: M, T, W, F Work Hours: 7AM - 10AM (Downtown 5AM - 8AM) Does it have Carpool? Yes Does it have Uniforms? Yes (details under Final Notes) File Type: Package Min. Required Game Version: 1.42 Packs Needed: The Sims 3 📣All descriptions for the levels, tones and metrics as well as skills required, salary, uniforms and other details are provided on the pictures above.

NRAAS Careers Mod Male and Female Uniforms CC

I decided to stick with Athletic skill only for this part-time because this branch of the military mostly focuses on training with military dogs. As much as I wanted to include dog training skills, unfortunately that is locked to pets in the game. It may be possible but it is outside of my current skillset as it would require delving into scripting or modding. You can adopt a dog and train it, though training sessions will only occur outside of work hours. However, if you enjoy roleplaying like I do, I typically adopt a dog and train with them in the park after work. Regarding the custom content I mentioned earlier, I have included two files in the Download section above: Army Shirt Male and Army Shirt Female. These should be placed in the Mods folder like any other cc and are required for the level 1 uniforms to appear in your game. The shirts are simple t-shirts with the word 'ARMY' written on the front, and I owe huge thanks to the tutorials and references I found (links provided below in the Credits) for helping me complete them. The Army Shirts are exclusively available for the Army Reserve - MWD Handler career and are disabled for random outfits as well as maternity wear. I have included both individual files and a bulk download option depending on your preference. RAR files can be opened by third-party applications such as WinRAR or 7-Zip. If you do not have these applications yet, you can refer to this link for the download links. As stated above, you will need NRAAS Careers Mod for these careers to show up in the game and as long as you have the latest version of it, it should work for higher patches. You can also read my #psa regarding these careers, click here. I’m not fluent in any other languages to translate so if anyone is interested in translating this career, please don’t hesitate to send me a message here, comment on this post or let me know in my Ask/Contact form (if you don't have a Tumblr account) and will let you know the details. I have tested this career in my game, so far it is working and all scripts are showing up. All feedback is very welcome to help me learn and improve my skills so please let me know if you experience any problems on your end and I’ll do my best to sort it as soon as possible.

MissyHissy step-by-step tutorial Twallan for the Career Mod S3pe Simlish alphabet LGR Video Tutorial CAS Texture Unitool (CTU)

[wosoragebaiter69]

together forever

hayley raso x fem!reader

request: here

A/N: I got my new goalie gloves today 😜

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Come on, the beach will be fun. Aussie beaches are like the best in the world! And it’s summer. Get up.” My girlfriend says.

“Hayley, we’ve been everyday this week.” I sigh sinking into the couch.

“Yeah but we haven’t been there on sunset. Sunsets on the beach are a different kind here.” She ends up giving puppy dog eyes which she knows I can’t say no to. In all our years of dating she still manages to make me crumple.

“Fine, it better be worth it.” Her smile grows wider and she jumps up and down. To which, I can only laugh at.

“What are we waiting for? Let’s go.” I grab my phone and a towel, before following her outside and we begin the walk to the beach.

The walk consists of small talk, Hayley seems slightly nervous but I can’t imagine why. Maybe she doesn’t think I’ll like it? Time can only tell. I place her hand in mine in hopes that whatever she’s worried about will go away when she sees the sunset.

Once we arrive, I place the towel down and immediately gape at the sight in front of me. The sky is lit up in all sorts of warm colours. The sun only a third of the way set as it casts an orange glow around it. Yellow and red fill other parts of the sky, making the whole area look like it’s out of a painting. The water contrasts perfectly against the horizon, where large ships can be seen but barely.

“Haiz.. I don’t know what to say. This is… beautiful. Why wasn’t I shown this earlier?” I look at her, still in awe about our surroundings.

All she does is smile.

“I needed to wait for a special moment. Now sit. Sunset doesn’t last too long. Maybe take a picture? Even though we both know nothing compares to real life.” I nod at her words wondering what the special moment could mean.

I turn my gaze back out to the water, watching some distant surfers riding waves and getting taken out, there’s not many other people though.

“I can feel you staring babe.” I break our peaceful silence.

“I know.” Does it sound weird that I can hear her grin? Confused, I turn to look at her but my mouth drops at what she’s holding. Before I can say anything she starts.

“We’ve been dating for 3 years, which have been the best of my life, no one can make me feel the way you do. I’ve had relationships, but you’re the one that has felt the most right. If I’m not with you, I wonder what you’re doing subconsciously. Which is why I’ve decided I want you to be mine forever. So, Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N will you make me the happiest woman ever, and marry me?”

Throughout the speech my eyes well up, I can’t believe this is happening. When she finally says the question, there’s only one answer to be said.

“Yes, with every ounce of myself yes!” I cry out, she takes the ring out of the box placing it on the left ring finger.

“How did I get so lucky to have you?” I say before thinking about it.

“I was about to say the exact same thing.” She takes my hand and kisses it. “The best sunset in the world, with the best girl in the world.” I blush uncontrollably, not even trying to hide it.

“Are we going to tell the fans? When they find out they’re gonna go crazy.” I exclaim, it’s only last week her national teammate Ellie got engaged.

“Yes we can if that’s what you want. Now?” I nod smiling. I take the photo, making sure to include the jaw dropping sunset. Hayley’s arms are wrapped around my waist, her head resting on my shoulder kissing my neck softly. While I show the ring in all its glory, she probably went broke.

I take to instagram, including her on the post with the caption ‘I’ve got the best fiancé a girl could have, and you all have another thing to go crazy about.” I hit post laughing with the one I get to call mine, and we sit until twilight. Nothing else needs to exist if I’ve got her.

[luv-indigo]

okay so, redesigning nadine for the third and (hopefully) final time. i felt she looked too similar to soraya (my keyframes fall mc) so i changed nadine up a bit. also!! i was trying to find oc templates to fill out for my visual novel ocs and although there’s so many out there, none were exactly what i was looking for soooo…. I made my own! i’ll post my other our life ocs with them soon but first, nadine ! (again)

I’ve also changed my own mind. Nadine will be my MC for Qiu’s route.

Nadine introduction <3

Nadine spent much of her early childhood moving from place to place, all within her home state of California but oftentimes in different cities. Moving around so often made it hard to keep in contact with friends and after a while made it especially hard making friends in the first place.

When Opal tells Nadine they‘re moving once again, Nadine is surprised to learn they’re moving to Oregon, their neighboring state. This time, she learns it’ll be a more permanent location. Nadine doesn’t know exactly how to feel. She’s so used to moving around that being in a place for so long sounds foreign, weird and new. However, part of her can’t help but feel excited, especially since she gets her own room now! But no matter what, she knows mama will be with her every step of the way.

Upon meeting Qiu and Tamarack, Nadine quickly feels they can be the best of friends. Nadine has always been more of a quiet person but not necessarily shy. Spend enough time with her and you’ll find she can talk quite a lot. Yet she’s perfectly content with simply listening as well.

Nadine is mostly a rule follower. Rules are there for a reason right? She prides herself on being neat and orderly. All her belongings are pristine and in their place because that’s just how she likes it. During step 1, Nadine strongly dislikes getting dirty. Which can be difficult to avoid if you’re playing outside in the woods.

Step Two !!

After four years, Nadine has adjusted well into her new home. Although Nadine needs glasses she very much prefers to use eye contacts instead. It’s also the most convenient when ice skating. She’s taken on ice skating as her main past time and she’s fairly good. Her transportation of choice has been rollerblading so it makes sense she got into ice skating as well.

Her other hobbies are more on the creative side. She enjoys crafting and drawing on occasion. Cosplaying is also one of her major hobbies. For years she has worked on making her Halloween costumes with the help of Mama.

During this time Nadine becomes more of a shy person. During her earlier childhood, she had no problem voicing her thoughts and opinions but it seems now that sort of thing gets harder to do as you age. Thankfully, she has her two close friends to turn to whenever she needs a hand, and in turn she will be there for them as well.

Step Three !!

Nadine has less and less time to do things she wants. If this is how adult life is she wants zero part of it </3

Nadine has always prioritized their studies (although that became much harder to do when middle school started due to her procrastination habits). Now college is weighing on their mind. Nadine still very much enjoys ice skating yet she struggles to make time to practice. Similarly, cosplaying has turning into a year long project (for Halloween of course). Doing multiple cosplays a year is something she doesn’t have time for anymore. Although they are often busy, Nadine will always make time for a special someone and her best friend, Tamarack.

Step Four !!

Nadine’s all grown up </3

Throughout many years Nadine has learned things about themselves and grown into the person they are today. Her experiences and the people she has been around since she was ten years old have impacted her life to mold her into who she is, for better or worse. And honestly, they wouldn’t have it any other way.

And finally this little thing I made with all of Nadine’s doll icons. I had to edit many of them to fit the hair style and clothing options I wanted and it literally took forever </3 ouGh

Also, I apologize for the quality. I tried to preserve it as I was inserting the drawings into the template but resizing may have messed up the quality </3

[yutahoes]

Caramel

(Part Fourteen)

gif by @noyuta I can't find the gif I always include in the story so just saved it and uploaded it. I'm sorry.

characters: ex-stripper! company vice-president! Yuta x female! ex-wealthy! secretary! mom! Y/N genre: chaptered, smut, angst, fluff word count: 4.4k words

summary: Y/N has everything in her bitter life, not until she meets a sweet-looking stripper.

warnings: matured theme, ex-stripper au!, third person POV, cursing, mentions of killing but in exclamation only

taglist: @cherrymotodude @tenjyucat @justsomekpopstuff @ilhoonseyeballs @whyme11 @a-bts-world @amazinggraxia

a/n: Supposed to post this last Wednesday but the news broke and I'm just shocked, disappointed, and devastated. Had to edit a whole scene because I didn't want to write his name at all. Also had to remove a sensitive scene that is closely related to the issue. The next chapter will be the last one and I promise there won't be any plot twists.

Haechan was annoyed at Mark’s constant questions about his plan to get the two back together. He needed a window of opportunity to make his plan work. No, scratch that. Haechan doesn’t need a window, he just needs a small seep of light to make his plan work. 

A small crack that happened a week after he first met Kenshin. “Haechan, prepare for a lunch meeting.” 

The younger one coughed, “Hyung, I’m not really feeling well.” He sniffled which earned a confused look from the two older people in the room. “Can I skip the meeting today? Noona could come with you.” 

Yuta seemed to regard the suggestion by lightly glancing at the girl who was already standing up to check on Haechan. “Are you alright?” She asked in worry, walking to his table to check on him. When the younger sneezed, Yuta held Y/N’s waist in instinct to pull her away from the younger guy. Haechan wanted to smile, the skinship looked too natural. The older guy had to apologize quietly, removing his hands from her, but the girl shook her head even thanking him. “Do you want to go home?” 

“And leave the two of you alone?” Yuta gave him a pointed look. “I’ll be fine, noona. I just needed to rest a bit.” He coughed once again. “You should go prepare and assist Hyung in his meeting.” 

With a sigh, Yuta nodded. “We’ll be leaving in ten minutes.” 

Haechan had a smile on his face when his boss entered his office and the older woman went back to her desk to fix her things. They’re finally alone. Now he’ll have to wait and see where this could lead them. He should immediately tell Mark that his plan has now commenced.

Yuta was awkwardly sitting in the backseat of his car while Y/N was seated in the passenger seat, enthusiastically talking to the driver. He didn’t know what Haechan was planning but why would he decline a lunch meeting? Obviously, he’s not sick. That's a free meal and he doesn’t have anything to do but listen to the conversation on the table. What makes him more nervous is the fact that the planned meeting will happen in his favorite restaurant. 

The driver opened the door for him and Y/N came out of the car on her own. Is he even ready to show her inside? A lunch meeting with his female secretary isn’t even a problem - this is part of her job. But having lunch with the person you once loved in a restaurant where the owner surely knows your history together isn’t even normal. 

There was a familiar smile on the person by the reception which was replaced by a wide grin when the girl entered behind Yuta. “Oh my God, you two found each other!” Taeyong exclaimed, walking to where the two guests were then hugging Y/N. “I’m so happy to see you two together.” 

Yuta shook his head. “She’s my secretary.” 

Taeyong had to look at the man in surprise then at the girl who only nodded, “What happened to the chatty one?” Y/N only giggled, reasoning that Haechan was sick and couldn’t come with the vice president today. “And I thought you two were finally together,” he claimed once again, making Yuta hiss. He quickly sat on the spot by the window which had a reserved card above the table, Taeyong graciously pulled the chair for Y/N. “I’ll get the menu for you.” 

“Taeyong works here?” She asked but Yuta supplied that he owned the place. She exclaimed in awe. The interior of the restaurant is so warm, very different from the nightclub they once worked at. It was amazing. He did achieve a lot of nice things in life.   

Yuta was surprised that Taeyong pulled a chair to sit beside Y/N after he gave her the menu. The girl was quick to congratulate him on his restaurant. “When we got a huge money because of the closing of the club, I immediately opened this restaurant.” That was truly amazing, Y/N thought. She knew for a fact that it was her mom who bought the club. It was reflected in the money she took from the company when the investigation was taking place. She’s just glad that the money served a purpose and helped her friend’s life. 

“We also came to your wedding,” Taeyong shared making her stop. That was news to her. “But the guests were already leaving so we thought it was over. Jungwoo might have given us a different time.” Oh, she thought, that actually makes sense. And she thought they never came. 

The girl played with the napkin on the table before answering in a small voice, “I didn’t get married.” Taeyong stared at her in surprise. From the corner of her vision, she saw Yuta look her way as well. “Jaehyun stopped the wedding before it could happen.” 

What the hell? She didn’t get married and Jaehyun was the one who stopped the wedding? Yuta always thought that Jaehyun was perfect. He’s handsome, tall, and rich. Turns out, he might be crazy. How could you just let go of someone like Y/N?

Jaehyun must be stupid. That was the only idea running through Yuta’s mind while the president of Hikari Studios pitched his sale on how their games would help the Suzaki group grow. A conclusion came to him almost immediately, you cannot have everything in life. And he’s somewhat glad that Jaehyun didn’t get the girl. 

But what about their child? If they didn’t get married, then is Y/N the only one who takes care of their son? Is that why she’s working so hard? But surely, the multi-billionaire Jaehyun would have given her money to take care of the child if he could not take care of them. 

Or is it another man’s child? Did she fall in love with another man? 

Damn, that is more painful than the idea of her being married.

Yuta seemed out of it. Y/N doesn’t know why he agreed to the president’s idea when their company wouldn’t benefit much from the collaboration. There’s a much better way to advertise the Suzaki group without losing their profit. An idea Haechan could not understand even if Y/N kept explaining it to him. Of course, they’re just secretaries so they just adhere to their boss’ orders. And if he already agreed to the collaboration then it’s already final. 

Imagine her surprise being called into the vice president’s office because of her idea. She wanted to curse at Haechan but seeing Yuta listening intently at her made her think that he might need this. “You wanted to make a counteroffer?” He asked, staring at the file in front of him then glanced up at her from his eyeglasses. “How many days would you need to present this?” This is pretty easy. If there was one thing that she learned from her stepdad, that would be to make an effective counteroffer. She could make it immediately if she wants to. It’s just a presentation. What takes time would be her boss understanding the idea and presenting it on his own. “Can you make this in two days?” 

She nodded. “I’ll schedule a meeting with President Go of Hikari Studios.” He claimed that confused her. Two days? So she should finish it tomorrow for him to fully grasp the concept. “You’ll present it to him in two days.” 

“What?” Y/N asked in surprise. He wanted her to present it personally to the president? It’s his job, right? “I’m just a secretary. I can’t do this.” 

The corner of his lips turned up. “You’ve done this before, right?” This is just part of her work from before. She probably talked to a hundred company presidents and executives from way before. This is really easy. But Yuta had to consider that she didn’t hold any high-ranking position in his company. She is a secretary. “This is a well-thought-out presentation, Y/N. And if there’s someone I trust in making these decisions for the company, that would be you.” 

Wait. That is a heavy responsibility for just a measly secretary. “What if I mess this up?” 

Yuta stood up, removed his glasses then placed both his hands on the table that he was leaning close to her. “And what if it works out?” She visibly gulped. At the weight of his words or the close proximity, she wasn’t sure. “I trust you more than I trust myself in these company matters, Y/N. I know you’ll do great.” 

“How are you so sure about that?” The sentence came out before she could think about it. She isn’t doubting the vice president with his decisions, that’s the first thing you shouldn’t do as a secretary. But why her? Surely, there’s someone better than her. Haechan is better than her. Yuta is better than her. 

Yuta smiled. “Because it’s you, Y/N.” 

“Hyung,” Haechan came in the door that startled Yuta, making him sit down then stared at the file before him as if caught doing something illegal. “Am I disturbing something?” Y/N had to shake her head, excusing herself to leave. 

The first secretary placed another folder on the table before Yuta called both their attention. “Haechan, you have to take care of the Open House on your own. Y/N had some tasks she had to do.” The younger nodded. “Then grab an early lunch, you two.” 

“How about you, hyung?”

“President Suzaki invited me for lunch.” Both the secretaries just nodded. 

—-

“To be honest, noona, Open House is just a grand Suzaki clan gathering,” Haechan claimed while twirling his pasta. Y/N was apologetic because it seemed like Haechan would have more work because of this so-called Open House. Ever since Yuta had muttered the term and Haechan prepared the file for the event, Y/N had been curious. This is the first time she encountered just a thing. And if the whole company is preparing for this event, it must be a big deal. “It’s when all the president’s children come to the company.” 

“Children?” 

Haechan nodded, “Yuta hyung is the oldest then there’s like twenty other kids from different mothers.” Y/N gasped in disbelief. That is a huge exaggeration. “And every year, the number gets bigger.” 

So the rumors that Jaehyun said were true. The Suzaki president really is a womanizer but isn’t that too much? “The office will look like a huge children’s party, you should bring Kenshin.” The girl glared at Haechan. “It’s a large office and a lot of kids, I’m sure he wouldn’t notice your son.” 

“Besides, knowing about hyung would stop Kenshin from asking questions about his dad.” Y/N sighed.

The girl had been to countless meetings before. She had presented a million times before, it’s an everyday scenario when she was still the Chief Marketing Officer. An impossible feat now that she’s a secretary. A sigh of relief was all she could give when Haechan entered the conference room, cheering her on. To be fair, he came to the company before her and he should be given this opportunity first. She thought he would dislike her for that chance. But Haechan was thankful because he claimed he wouldn’t have the confidence to do any of these. Which is something that is hard to believe. 

Even before the scheduled time of meeting with the president of another company, Y/N had been asking the vice president if she really could do it. This would be huge if this pulls through. Working with Hikari Studios would boost the Suzaki company’s stocks and might evidently put them on the global market. Definitely, a huge responsibility lies on her shoulders now. 

With a heavy breath, she stared at both the President of Suzaki company and Hikari Studios who looked stern then at the vice president who was staring at her with a slight smile on his face. He believes in her. He knew she’d do great. 

She couldn’t blow this up. She needed to do her best. She cannot disappoint Yuta.  

Y/N is very charming. This was the first time Yuta had watched her in her craft and he couldn’t help but be amazed at her charm. Now he knows how she could attract those stakeholders to invest in the Kims. How every chairman wants Y/N in their company, even their family. His father, who was seated opposite him at the long table, was all smiles as he stared at the girl presenting the offer they had for the other company. What is with this fondness? She isn’t married and being a single mom hasn’t stopped his dad from adding another child to his growing list of children. She should protect her from him. 

Surely his dad might have known something. It’s impossible that he had hired her without any background checks, he should have known that she was the girl he had cried about for years. He probably knows something, right? But is his own father that evil to steal away the girl he badly yearned for all these years? Yuta isn’t too close to him to know exactly that. Just to be sure, he had to save her from him. But how? Should he marry her? 

Yuta watched as the girl made her last statement then smiled as she thanked the people who listened to her. She is very charming, very pretty. How can someone not fall in love with her? He’d kill to have her in his life, even his arms. Marrying her wasn’t a bad thought.  

It was a successful presentation, an agreement between two companies that would benefit them both. The president was so proud of Y/N that he was supposed to hug her but Yuta walked between the two. “She’s my employee, I’ll compensate for her hard work.” He claimed making Haechan laugh. 

Y/N was more nervous standing in front of Yuta in his office. She knew she did a great job, both presidents complimented her for the amazing presentation. So why is she suddenly called in her boss’ office? Yuta was signing the papers to be submitted to the other company as she watched, fingers drumming along her thigh in nervousness. “Are you going home early?” Yuta asked in a soft voice. Y/N had nothing left to do in the office. She just wanted to go home and have dinner with her son. But why would he ask that? “There’s a newly opened Michelin-starred seafood restaurant nearby. You like seafood right?” He asked in one breath, not even looking at her. 

“I don’t eat seafood.” Yuta stopped signing the paper, obviously startled. What? She loves seafood. “Can I just leave early tonight, sir? I’ll come in early tomorrow for the Open House.” Can’t they just have a decent dinner together? Does she hate him that much? 

Yuta nodded, handing her the folder that had the signed forms for the collaboration. “The party will begin at eight am tomorrow,” he reminded. “You should also bring your son along.” Y/N’s eyes were wide. Wait, how did he know that she has a son? “Haechan told me about him.” Y/N only nodded. 

—-- 

“Should I kill Haechan?” The girl asked making Mark giggle. Y/N even stabbed the grilled squid with a fork. “I shouldn’t have introduced Kenshin to him,” She claimed then bit the squid. “It’s not too late to tell Ken that he cannot come to the office tomorrow, right?”  

“After you asked him to sleep early?” Mark asked while shaking his head. The only reason she asked him to sleep early was because she wanted to eat seafood all of a sudden. While heading home, she tried to search for the new seafood restaurant her boss mentioned and craved the lobster from the homepage. Why is her son allergic to seafood when she loves it so much? “He’s already excited for the bouncy house.” 

Before Yuta mentioned her son, Haechan had made it a point to invite both Mark and Ken to the Open House. Y/N didn’t even know that her son could get enticed by a simple bouncy house. “Maybe Haechan doesn’t want any harm. It’s not bad though, Kenshin knowing about his dad would lessen his questions.” And she doesn’t know that Haechan and Mark are close. They almost have the same idea about this. 

She squinted her eyes at him, “Are you planning this with Haechan?” 

The younger guy giggled, “You know my money is on you and Jaehyun hyung ending up together, right?” The girl pouted. Jaehyun. Maybe Jahyun could help. Pretend that he’s Kenshin’s dad perhaps? But that would be very impossible. It only takes one look to know who Kenshin’s dad is and obviously, it isn’t Jung Jaehyun. “Noona, it’s a huge company building with a lot of kids. I’m sure your boss wouldn’t notice Ken.” 

Y/N sighed. There’s nothing she could do now. But nothing could go wrong, right? 

Yuta hated this event the most. All these kids running around the office building just because his father cannot calm his testosterone. The mothers of his siblings were either flirting with him or telling him to get married which annoyed the hell out of him. He blew the smoke of the cigarette, rolling his eyes at the thought. Marriage? That was a funny thing to say. How could he even get married when the girl he wants is in the building with her child? A son? Does he look like her? Maybe Jaehyun? Or maybe that other man who got her pregnant. 

With a final swig of the cigarette, Yuta smiled. If he wanted to see what her son looked like, he shouldn’t be hiding here.  

“Mommy said cigarettes are bad.” A young kid claimed that startled Yuta. The boy was wearing a Pororo T-shirt while pushing his eyeglasses up. A new face, this is the first time Yuta saw this kid. But there’s no doubt that this kid is one of his father’s sons. Those doe-like boba eyes. “You are so tall, uncle.” Uncle? “Can you carry me on your back?” Yuta stared at him, eyebrow raised. Who is his mom? Is it someone he knew? How old is he? Four? Five? “I just wanted to see if the air is different up there.” The guy had to laugh at that. 

Well, there is surely one way to know if he truly is a Suzaki kid. “Why don’t you ask your dad to do that?” 

The young boy pouted making Yuta smile. He’s cute. “I don’t have a dad.” Yes, he’s definitely a Suzaki kid. 

Compared to his other siblings, this kid is very talkative. All his siblings would either be too scared or embarrassed to talk to him. What makes him so endearing is how excited he got when he sat on Yuta’s shoulder. His giggles are so infectious that Yuta guessed he might have grown up in a loving environment.   

He was walking to the hallways of his office when he bumped into Haechan next to another guy who was wearing glasses. “Mark hyung,” the kid called. “Haechannie.” 

Wait, he knows Haechan? Both guys were looking at him in surprise. “Do you know him, Haechan?” Yuta asked. “Is he your brother?” 

The guy shook his head before another figure turned the corner. Y/N was holding a Pororo bag, about to talk to Haechan when she stopped in her tracks. “Mommy!” the kid called. “Look, I’m super tall now. The air here is very different.” 

“Mommy?” Yuta asked. His ears aren’t tricking him, right? But Y/N walked to where he was, asking the young boy to come down. She was so close to him as she carried the young boy but he remained frozen in his place. “Mommy?” Yuta repeated.    

The girl held the young boy’s hand. “This is my son, Kenshin.” She introduced then faced the younger boy, “That is my boss. Say hi to him, Ken.” 

The young boy was mirroring the same expression as Yuta, confused. “You said your boss is mean and scary.” Haechan snickered, taking Ken’s free hand and the Pororo bag. “Let’s go to the bouncy house.” 

Before Y/N could say something, Mark and Haechan were walking away holding both Kenshin’s hands. How could they meet like that? This is a huge office building with lots of kids. What are the odds that Yuta was carrying Kenshin on his shoulders? He probably knows, right? “That was your son?” She had to glance at Yuta in surprise. Wait, he doesn’t know? 

Yuta brushed his hair up. This is mind-boggling. That kid, with the infectious giggle, is his son. But he clearly has his father’s eyes. Is Y/N one of his father’s countless women? But how? It can’t be possible. But then again, those eyes. Traits that his siblings have, traits that they all got from his father. A sure sign that someone is a Suzaki. 

Then it hit. He also has the same eyes. He’s the oldest Suzaki child after all. And judging from his age. A gasp escaped Yuta’s lips. “He’s my son, isn’t he?” Y/N didn’t need to confirm his thoughts. Everything is clicking into place. “Fuck, Y/N, why didn’t you tell me?” His voice became louder and she visibly flinched. Some of the workers and guests walking in the hallway were looking at them. 

Yuta had no choice but to hold her hand and drag her to his office, closing the door behind him. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I thought you knew,” she reasoned out, making him puzzled. “You said Haechan told you.” 

The guy had to clench his fist in anger. “Haechan knows?” She nodded, “Lee Haechan, that kid. I’m going to kill that brat.” He breathed heavily before looking at her once again. “He only said you have a son, I didn’t know he was mine.” Even those words seemed very weird to say out loud for Yuta. “Why didn’t you just tell me the first time? You could have just walked to my office and told me, ‘Yuta, I have your son.’.” 

“And would you even believe me?” 

“God damn, Y/N!” he shouted and she stepped back in fright. “Even if you tell me right now that you have three eyes, I would blindly believe you.” He lightly punched his table. “You just have no idea how crazy I am for you, huh?” Yuta breathed hard. He cannot be mad right now. He needed answers. “Since when have you found out that you were pregnant?” 

The girl was fiddling her thumbs in nervousness. “I confirmed it a day before the wedding with Jaehyun.” 

“Is that why he didn’t marry you?” 

She shrugged. “I didn’t tell anyone.” Her voice was so soft that Yuta had to focus just to hear her words. “Jaehyun met him in Canada when he was already three.”

“And you were alone the whole time?” 

“The couple who took me in when I was in Canada helped me.” She shared, head bent down. “They were supposed to adopt Kenshin when I gave birth to him.” What? At this point, Yuta wanted to get mad. She’s just going to give her child to other people? Their child? “I don’t want to be a mom. I’m scared to be a mom. I don’t want to be like her.” Y/N’s knees gave out and she plopped to the ground. “But he smiled at me and when I hushed him, I was reminded of you.” Yuta glanced at her and that’s when he noticed the tears falling from her eyes. “I cannot give him up. Kenshin only has me.”

Yuta kneeled down so that they were at eye level with each other. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. 

“I tried looking for you. I even thought she did something bad to you.” Her voice was hushed in between choking sobs. “I’m so glad to see you again. Alive and well. Better than me, in fact.”

The guy sat cross-legged in front of her, wiping the tears on her cheek. “Then why didn’t you tell me anything?” 

“I don’t want you to think I’m after your money, Yuta.”

He smiled. Yuta held her hand, rubbing his thumb along the back of her palm. This is all just a misunderstanding. He could have saved some tears. She could be in his arms right now. “We should have talked like this before.” 

“You hated me.” 

“Because I thought you married Jaehyun,” She was about to revolt when he continued, “I only found out about it when we saw Taeyong.” Once again, he smiled. “I also found out that you have a son and I was mad that you got to move on with your life when I was in shambles because of you.” Yuta breathed hard, laughing to himself at how absurd everything was. God damn, all this time it’s just a miscommunication. “The only reason I opened this company was to show Jaehyun that I can be better than him. Then maybe, just maybe, I can take you back.”     

His hand brushed against hers, threading their fingers together. “What should we do now?” She asked innocently, looking at their hands. 

The guy had to pull her closer, his free hand holding her chin to make her look at him. “If you’ll let me, I want to make up for the lost time with Kenshin.” His voice had a soft, hushed tone. “I’m also scared to be a father but you have been an amazing mom so I don’t want to disappoint you. I’ll try my best to be worthy of Kenshin.” 

Y/N’s tears welled in her eyes. When she was just imagining the scenario of Yuta finding out about his son, this wasn’t what she had in mind. She thought he'd get mad. She hid these from him for years. But here he is, whispering apologies for coming too late. “So can you please introduce me to Kenshin as his dad and not your scary, mean boss?” The girl had to laugh, nodding. 

Yuta had to help her stand up, hands still interlocked with each other. “Y/N,” he called which made her look at his face. He smiled warmly, she’s really here with him. “Can I hug you?” The girl nodded before he removed his hold on her, wrapping her in his arms. She’s finally in his arms. “I missed you.” He then pulled her closer, not wanting to let her go. “God, I missed you so much.” 

The tears fell from Y/N’s eyes. Yuta’s warmth that she had been yearning all along. His sweet scent that she had missed all this time. “I miss you too, Yuta.”  

[stevenbasic]

Growing into the Job, Post 408: Babysitting, p3

“So, how exactly are you going to pay for all of this?” Randi asked me, her eyes rising up from her laptop from where she sat on the couch, several cushions away, “You’re broke from the divorce, aren’t you?”

“She, um, gave me debit card,” I answered, not taking my eyes off my own screen - the big tv in Melissa’s mom’s great room. I’d figured out a way, with Randi’s help (and permission) to use the television to surf the web. I hadn’t been online in a while and at first Randi was reticent about letting me use it. I explained, though, that I just needed to do some shopping.,After some arguing, and, well pleading, she finally relented and said I could, as long as she could supervise. So, sitting here on a quiet Thursday afternoon after having endured not just one but, I think, three blow jobs while watching the first part of Melissa’s interview for Channel 5, I put another set of shoes into my Amazon cart. Yes, I was dependent on a woman’s money and being policed in my internet habits by a 20-something year-old.  At this point, though, I was nearly beyond the embarrassment and humiliation of the situation. Nearly. “She said I could use it for whatever I want.”

When I said ‘she’, there was no question of who I was talking about, and Randi’s eyes lit up with a smirk.

“Melissa’s got you sucking from her bank account already, huh?” Randi quipped, the bank account/teat analogy not lost on me but not rankling me quite as much as it should have. Quite. “How much did she give you?” 

“ I- she gave me two thousand dollars,” I answered. Maybe I was relaxed from the half-hour or so I’d spent in Randi’s mouth and the quick nap I’d taken after, but admitting my financial dependence on my girlfriend didn’t bother me much. Much. I’d kept an eye on my online cart; I still had a good cushion in my budget and moved on to looking for shirts…in the “Youth” section. “I’ll be careful not to run out.”

“Well, if you use it up I’m sure she’ll let down some more money for her needy little man,” Randi finished, “Melissa’s got very big…accounts.” Her smoky voice was still deliciously throaty from the blowjobs. 

Again, haha, with the boob analogy and a - fuck me - stirring in my sweatpants.

“Yeah,” I answered, this time finally feeling myself flush. Randi certainly had a way about her, a way to find my buttons, and she obviously loved to push them. I always thought of her as pushy, a little critical, and with a somewhat rough, randy (hey-oo) sense of humor. She had a penchant for deliberately pressuring me, and sometimes seducing me, way beyond my comfort zone. Today, in fact, was our third private tryst, and it was an unspoken fact that it came with her best friend’s nodding approval. I understood Randi’s seductions as mostly practical. They were calculated, mercenary, career-advancing moves designed to trap me in a corner and use my own weaknesses against me. She knew I didn’t have the strength of will to say no, and her advancements almost seemed like an amusement to her, practically a prank. On some level, though, both Randi and I knew there were heavier machinations at work. She’d never admit it but my cock down her throat filled some deeper instinct, some sort of connection that flowed through me, her, and all the girls.

Yeah, so Randi was maybe becoming more than just a brash prankster who liked making men horny and stupid, getting her kicks from pushing them to risky and humiliating sexual acts. Something important was quietly happening, surfacing in her - like it was in lots of the girls at the office. Randi was no doubt an acerbic, short-tempered young woman but she was smart, and given the context of her being overwhelmed with all of the new demands on her life I got the sense she knew she was moving upwards towards some greater role than just Social Media Director at a geriatrics practice in the Midwest. 

With Randi pestering me, I’d unconsciously found myself stroking the debit card Melissa had given me. I never told anyone, but  I nearly always kept it in my pocket. Weirdly, having it around made me feel safe. Now that I had it out next to me, I couldn’t help but hold it close. 

“Maybe I’ll buy something nice for her,” I muttered, not even realizing what I’d said out loud as I navigated my way toward the ‘Women’s Clothing’ section. Amazon had certainly started using curvier, more athletic models these days. Maybe they felt the need to start living up to their name haha. 

“Oh, you want to get Melissa something? I know she was talking about a dog collar,” Randi offered. 

“Really? Why?” I asked, “Is she thinking about getting a new pet?”

Speaking of, Melissa’s moms cat - ‘Tiger’, I think - sauntered across the room, between the television and where I sat. Had it been around here the whole time?

“Hey, cat, what’s up? Need your litterbox changed?” Randi teased. 

The thing paused, fixed Randi with a death stare, and moved on. 

Randi chuckled, and turned her attention back to me. “Anyway, no more tv,” said, putting her laptop aside, “you and I got some chores to do.”

Oh yeah, that. Laundry. 

Five minutes later, at Randi’s command, I found myself back upstairs gathering up not only my own dirty clothes from the bedroom but Melissa’s as well. Panties, bras, socks and athletic gear were all strewn haphazardly about the room. Most of the time I was a bit too distracted to notice, but she really was a mess and a half sometimes. Finally, with a bit of work, all the clothes found their way into the already half-full laundry basket sitting in the corner. Apparently not satisfied with the bra from which I’d still needed to breathe, I took the chance to surreptitiously sniff Melissa’s dirty clothes. Good god, the smell of her was like a drug. I just couldn’t get enough. This must be love, right? I was alone, and suddenly horny again and was considering rubbing one out right th-

“Hey, dude..!” came Randi’s voice, calling up to me from the bottom of the stairs, “What’s taking so long? Are you rubbing one out?”

Sigh. 

I was still strong enough to carry the now-overflowing basket down the steps and to the laundry room, where Randi supervised me separating out the delicates (mostly Melissa’s lingerie) from everything else. We’d started the load of regulars, some towels and a robe were already in the dryer, and Randi had - Whoah! - picked me up under the armpits to boost me to sit on the washer while she went through what looked like another pile of bras that had been set atop the dryer alongside me. 

My feet dangled off the edge as I watched Randi pick through them, looking at tags, setting some aside to go through the next load. 

I recognized a few of these bras. Old ones of Melissa’s, from months back.

“Uhh…” Anything to do with Melissa’s bras did seem to enthrall me. 

“These are ones she’s outgrown, she told me I could have them,” Randi explained, holding up a white underwire whose band and tag I recognized from an old Insta post of Melissa’s. 

“R-really?” I managed. 

Sidelong, Randi glanced at me and her smile curled into something a bit more predatory when she heard the crack in my voice. “Yeah. I’m basically as big as she was when you hired her.”

Randi’s tone suggested she knew exactly how captivated I was.  “Well, I’m taller now than she was then, so 34GG’s don’t look as ginormous on me as they did on her,”  she dryly explained, “But don’t worry I’m a growing girl.”

Though I’d been confronted with this before, the sheer absurdity of the fact that yes all the women around me seemed to be getting taller, stronger and bustier still boggled me. “h-how does this happen??” I asked with obvious futile impotence, sitting on the washer and eye-to-eye with Randi, who must be over six feet tall at this point. 

“Dude, haven’t you figured it out yet? The Melissssy Effect?” she snipped, white lace brassiere still in her hands, “Spend too much time around her and you start becoming what she needs you to be.”

Yes, right…wait, what?! I knew it, I felt it, this influence my new Office Manager was having over our staff… and over me <shiver>. I think I’d secretly known it all along. I could ‘feel’ it, but it was just too ludicrous to get my head around. “H-how..??”

“Plain and simple,” Randi answered sharply, “She’s magic.”

My brow furrowed. “T-there’s no s-such thing as magic,” I muttered, hearing for myself the uncertainty in my voice. 

To my reply, Randi cocked a dark, sculpted eyebrow. “I dunno. I wouldn’t be so sure.”

My throat caught, blood rushed behind my eyes. “C’mon…she’s not ‘magic’,” I insisted, again with the hesitation of a man whose worldview had been crumbling around him already. “Magic’s impossib-”

“Okay then she’s ‘science’,” Randi retorted, “You believe in science don’t you?”

“Yes but…” The science was even more unbelievable. 

“Or, maybe she’s ‘religion’. Or - I dunno -  maybe she’s all three,” Randi concluded a bit uncertain herself. Her tone seemed to signal that there were things about what was happening that she didn’t fully understand herself. “I honestly don’t fucking know.” Irritated, she obviously wanted to move onto something else. 

The washing machine vibrated underneath me, the dryer rumbling alongside. 

She held the big white bra in her hands, making a bit of a show of it. She wanted me to look up as she inspected its full satin cups. Despite knowing what she was doing, I couldn’t help but grow silent, my mind captivated by the sight. 

“Anyway, since we’re on the subject,” she began again, “now that I’m as big as she was when you hired her - and we all know you hired her for her tits - I want to make as much as she did.”

Wait. 

“Wh-what?” Now we’re talking salaries?

“I want a raise. A big one.”

“Y-y-you want to make as much as Melissa? Our Office Manager??” The shock of it pulled my attention out of Melissa’s bra cup and back to Randi’s crooked smile. 

“Well, not as much as she makes now of course…” Randi offered. 

Makes…now? Melissa’s pay should be the same as- 

“She gave herself a raise, didn’t you know?” 

My expression must have been one of shocked incredulousness, and I felt myself gaping, confused. 

Randi chuckled at my consternation, and her hand drifted down to find my erection alive and well in my sweatpants, clear for her to see. After a brief second of shock, my body tensing at her touch, I realized just how obviously turned on I was from this predicament I found myself in. With well-practiced proficiency, she slid her hand down the waistband of my pants, and pulled my hard shaft out into the open air. Fuck it was huge, startlingly so on my skinny, 4’7” frame. She smiled as she gave it a squeeze. 

I groaned, my eyes fluttered, but - passively - I didn’t complain. Suddenly I was distracted from the surprise of Melissa’s raise and the insult to my already-crumbling authority, and all my attention was centered right where Randi wanted it. On her.  

“Face it, buddy,” Randi said, as she took my cock and wrapped it into one of the white satin bra cups of Melissa’s bra, causing me to shudder and moan anew. My vision swam and already my loins sparked and clenched. “We’re all getting richer. We’re all getting more beautiful, taller, stronger.” She began to stroke the bra over my throbbing, nearly ten-inch shaft. Her voice was smoky and low. “All of us are getting bigger, all of us -  except you.”

“Oh godddddd….” I groaned, and - Jesus, that was f-fast - came into Melissa’s bra.. 

As the orgasm wracked me, I fell forward from where I sat. my face planted itself into Randi’s - my savior and tormenter’s - waiting bosom. “Shhh…deep breath,” I heard her chuckle, waiting until I inhaled before speaking again. She felt me melting. “I smell like her don’t I?” 

Nnngh…nnngh…nnngh….Melissa. Yes, she did. A sharper edge to it, perhaps, but Randi’s scent was all but exactly Melissa’s. 

“We’re all starting to get to be more like her,” Randi drawled as she milked me through my climax, into the satiny cup of her friend’s enormous bra, “and not just the tits.”

Nnngh, nnngh, nnngh. Into the bra I came, until my pulses waned. 

Still gripping my spent manhood and the bra with one hand, Randi pulled me back from her chest with the other. She took one of my hands into hers, and opened it up so we were palm-to-palm. We both marveled at the lopsided size comparison, how my fingers went just past the first joint of hers. She chuckled, and turned her narrowed eyes back onto me as she brought my hand up to her lips. Gently, she started kissing my fingers, looking into my eyes with a suddenly tender intimacy that was unusual for Randi.

“Being with me is kinda like being with her, hm?” she said, both of us aware of this weird energy - and Melissa’s unseen presence - in the room, “You can think about her when you’re with me. She’s your girlfriend, I don’t mind.”

Randi kissed my fingertip, sucked gently on my index finger to the first knuckle. She was still rubbing me, massaging me through the squishy bra, and she saw my eyes fluttering again. “C’mon I know you can do it,” she whispered. 

Astonishing even myself, I began to swell again. 

“Oooo there you go,” Randi chuckled, as her hand - assisted by the cup of the bra and now the lubrication of my last release - began to squeeze and stroke me anew. “Women really have so much power over you, don’t they?” she posited, feeling me hardening, “such amazing things we can do, Melissa, all us girls.”

“M-Melissa..?” I groaned. 

“Shhh remember, I’m getting to be just like her. And she’s not jealous. Being with me is like being with her, she’s told you herself,” she purred, sucking my index finger into her mouth and then out again, like she was sucking a dick, “But…there are still some special things of my own I can do. My own particular talents…”

I groaned. Was she actually going to do this to me again?

“Let me show you why they call me ‘The Mouth’.

At that she started feeding my fingers - two three four…five - in between her lips, and then slid them into her mouth. Her lips closed over them, and I felt the muscle of her tongue moving slowly underneath my fingers.

I shuddered in pleasure and she chuckled as I watched, eyes searching mine as I began to realize what she was about to do. 

She moved on to take in my entire hand. 

My eyes went wide. She had my whole right hand in her mouth, to the wrist.  She still grasped my forearm which, by god, was not much longer or thicker than my cock, between her fingers. Her glossy lips were closed in a tight seal around my scrawny wrist, and - drawing in her cheeks - she sucked on my hand powerfully. Her tongue continued its unseen gymnastics around my palm and fingers like an eel. I felt the sharp edges of her teeth bite delicately into my wrist, while all the while her eyes remained locked on mine, staring into my shuddering depths.

She hummed pleasantly, the vibrations of her vocal cords shivering all the way up my arm. I was beginning to groan again, in new pleasure. What was this girl capable of??

With another tug of suction, she began to show me. 

I gasped in disbelief as she took in the first few inches of my arm. My eyes stayed locked on hers as - oh my god - she didn’t stop.

She ate more of my arm, lips sliding up and up and up my thin limb as she still hummed into my bones. I felt my hand slide down into her throat and soon she had me to the elbow. 

“o-o-oh my god Randi…” I stammered, now staring down at the spectacle. She’d taken my entire forearm into her mouth, her lips closed around the joint of my elbow. I could feel my hand squeezed by the top part of her esophagus, and she swallowed several times on purpose, squeezing my hand and wrist in a muscular embrace of warm tightness….and drawing me in further. 

Deeper and deeper she fed me into her mouth, her lips inching forward slowly, gaining territory with each gentle swallow and pull. She was a snake, a she-cobra, devouring its prey and I watched her throat bulging with the thickness of my arm down inside it. The start of my withered bicep, then the middle. Randi kept going. 

My cock was throbbing hard now, fully back at erection and still being stroked by Randi now with both hands through Melissa’s bra. Though I couldn’t take my eyes off the horrid spectacle of my arm down this girl’s outrageously distended mouth, hers still bore into mine with insistence, unblinking, not wanting to miss a moment of my reaction.

Randi sucked me in again and I heard the first real gag out of her. She had my upper bicep and then - my god - her jaw widened even further and her lips closed around my shoulder, and came to a stop. Her big head, her mane of straight black hair, was right there, her eyes staring deeply into mine. My jaw hung open and quivering, she’s swallowed my entire arm. My entire arm is inside her, down her throat. 

I felt the acid of her stomach burning my hand, threatening to eat away at it.

She hummed deeply again and jostled her head, shaking my whole torso like a panther with its prey. Then she growled, suddenly baring her teeth at me, showing me two rows of teeth clamped down over my shoulder. There was absolutely no doubt that, if Randi had wanted to, she could have bitten off my entire arm. She growled once more and - nnnnnngggguuugggghhh -  I felt myself orgasm again, unngh, unngh, unngh - into the already sodden bra. How did I have anything left in me?! Her tongue lapped under my armpit, and she sucked on my arm like one giant cock, her entire alimentary canal closing tightly around it and milking it in rhythm with my climax…

=============================================

Thanks to reader GrillFan for his insightful character analysis of Randi, much of which is included here, Joyce Julep for inspiring the arm-eating scene, and once again RiF for proofreading.

[honey-milk-depresso]

19 Reasons (Tim Drake x Reader)

It’s Tim’s birthday in my timezone, so I’m writing my first ever DC Comic post- yes- fiNALLY-

Summary: You said you wished your turning 19 year old Tim “Happy Womb Escape” by presenting a slideshow titled “19 reasons why I love Tim Drake.”

☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️

“Guess what day it is?”

“19 July?” He didn’t even bat an eye, busy typing away on his computer without a care in the world.

“Seriously? Okay stop working,” you closed his laptop and shove it away to a corner, “you literally forget it’s your birthday today?”

He looks at you nonchalantly before crossing his arms with an eyebrow raised. “Well, it’s not that important?”

You gasped in horror, dramatically rolling up to his chest with your hand pressed to your forehead and the other clutching your heart. “ ‘Not important’? My own boyfriend saying his birthday is ‘not important’? Non!”

He rolled his eyes, playfully and lightly shoving you away as he smirked. You grinned.

“I’m going to show you why it’s important with this slideshow!” You placed your own laptop on his lap, the monitor flashing a slideshow titled “19 Reasons Why I Love Tim Drake”.

“Oh god. This is gonna be fun,” he joked.

“Before that, I would just like to say,” you started, clicking to the next slide, “ ‘Happy Womb Escape’ to you, Drake.”

“Wait wha-”

“Now first reason!” You clicked to the next slide, cutting your baffled vigilante as you cleared your throat to perform your lines.

“Number one! He’s Red Robin, Gotham’s best vigilante out there! Ain’t I ever seen another like him!”

“There’s Bruce, Dick, Jason, Cass, Steph, Lu-”

“STOP- THERE IS NO ONE LIKE YOU!” You groaned in frustration, making Tim chuckle. “Yeah but I’m basically just like them.”

“I ain’t see someone who single-handedly took down the Joker? Obeah Man? Got rid of the booty shorts of Robin? That’s a crime, by the way.” You said it in a “matter-of-fact” way. He snorted.

“Secondly! He’s the most hardworking man I know! But also he needs rest so take notes. Third! He’s the biggest, dorkiest dork on earth who loves machines, science, and he googles the most random things on the internet just to give me a fun fact later on out of the blue!”

“Fourth! His hair is fluffy as hell and it makes him very nice to pat on the head! Fifth! He’s a nerd! And that’s cute! Sixth, Tim is the smartest man I’ve ever met. I bet he could find the last digit of Pi in like 2 seconds in his brain. Seventh!”

Tim smiled warmly, soon becoming smug the more you went on with your points. He looked so proud.

“Seventh, is that he’s a bisexual icon! Enough said. Eighth! He lends me his sweaters and they all smell like him which is the nice part.”

“You stole them, you mean?”

“Shhhh, let the presenter speak. Anyways, ninth! Timmy bringing me to a burger joint on our first date and he didn’t judge me for it. I’ll tell you something I didn’t until now: I was pretty scared you judged me but you didn’t. So thank god.”

“I always judge you, Y/N, it’s alright,” Tim smirked. You looked at him with a frown, not amused. “Yeah, okay never mind, I should take this slide down.”

“Hey!” He said, grinning as wide as you were. “Next! Tenth! He watches over me even when he’s on patrol to make sure I’m safe!”

“You… know? I thought I was pretty well hidden…” he blinked in surprise.

“Tim, you may be a detective and that’s exactly the point. It doesn’t take some of your skills to rub off of me,” again, you said it as a matter-of-fact.

“Eleventh! He’s a skater boy, and he’s my ‘Skater Boi’,” Tim once again snorted, much louder upon understanding that pop culture reference.

“Twelfth, he loves watching old, 80s to 90s cheesy movies and geeks out about them all the time while we’re watching! Don’t ever shut up, by the way. Thirteenth! He always fidgets with his fingers and hands when he’s bored subconsciously! That in itself is adorable.”

“Fourteenth! He’s a terrible cook, but he still tries anyways. It’s also adorable~” He rolled his eyes, folding his arms.

“Wow, I feel so loved.”

“Yesh, and I love you very much as well, Timothy Jackson Drake Wayne,” you teased. He scoffed lightly. “Yeah, yeah.”

“Fifteenth! He is the best cross-dresser. That is all. Sixteenth! HE IS THE WORLD’S GREATEST DETECTIVE! Like he found Waldo every 2 seconds, finished 5 books of him in 1 minute,” you said, doing an amateur explosion side effect by saying “kaploosh” with your hands doing the mind-blown action.

“Again, Bruce and everyone else in my family.”

“Again, there is no one like you, Detective Tim. Seventeenth! Best photographer! Also enough said! Love everything you take, sweetie! Eighteenth! He makes using a metal stick look badass!”

“And lastly! Nineteenth! Drum roll please!” You use your knuckles to lightly drum against the wooden floors. “He’s Tim Drake! What’s not to love?” You smiled. It was so contagious that he found himself smiling as stupid and gleefully as you did.

He had always been insecure of his abilities and himself in general, so he was so flustered and gooey on the inside with how genuine you were with each point. Although, his flustered-ness was showing with pink blooming on his cheeks.

“Okay, guess I understand why my birthday’s important now.”

“Glad you understood my report, Mr Drake!” You smiled at him.

“So now I shall say,” you drum-rolled again, quickly tossing your arms around him and lightly pecked his cheek with a grin.

“I love you, Timothy Jackson Drake Wayne.”

He smiled at you lovingly, cupping your cheek as he gently brushed his thumb against it. “And I love you, too, YF/N L/N. Thanks for your birthday gift.”

You laughed sweetly. “The gift is you, technically~”

☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️

Reblogs help! ^^

[lioncourtie]

hurricanes & sun-dented rooms: a symbolic analysis of relationships in interview with the vampire. 

˖⋆࿐໋

hello. i have decided to resurrect this blog to point out a symbolic element that caught my eye after my first watch of interview with the vampire’s eighth episode, the unholy finale of what was quite frankly one of the best seasons out there.

now, i know that maybe this wasn’t that intentional, even if the remarkably talented crew behind the show loves incorporating hidden, symbolic details in it , but the visible sunray during the loumand reunion (post burning the theatre des vampires, all hail the pointe du lac heir) was so flagrant to me. quite literally, i felt as thought it was denting the scene, keeping both characters apart, louis on one side, calmer, proud of his newly accomplished plan, yet still tormented by the trial, and armand, desperately trying to lie, to convince, to make louis stagger so that they'd once again end up on the same side.

different feelings, different states of mind, different motivations.

now, we all know how vampires die most of the time: sun exposure, right? and what was right in the middle of the room, as present as a third entity? the sun, keeping them apart, even if, for the seventy years that followed, louis had granted armand his forgiveness, however never whole, after the latter had lied to him about his implications in the trial, and therefore, in the death of his beloved daughter.

but alsoooooo. one thing that i keep hearing is armand being a seventy year rebound for louis, and while i do agree with that statement, i also feel like that postburningodowntheatredesvampires paris apartment scene showcases that very aspect of their relationship well. two people who will never be able to fully merge, to fully meet, to be one, because they'll forever be set apart by the sun, by death. the death of louis and lestat (the real soulmates, after all) after that scene in magnus’ lair. the death of claudia, as orchestrated by armand, even if unknown at the time, remains still in the midst of their closeness, their proximity clouded by that energy, those lies. louis flew toxicity only to make his home in a manipulator's, a liar's warm, welcoming, yearning arms, only to realize that the abuse had shape shifted. a relationship built on lies and fragments of memories can never last forever, after all. and while lestat isn't that much better, (and boy am i not getting into this conversation today!!!!), he is louis’s love. one and only real love, bound together by the unique maker creation red string of fate, by shared dreams, promises, tragedies, and a daughter. who (arguably) died at their hand, but first and foremost, in front of their eyes. anne rice's characters will always be toxic, part vile, part good, but always fucked, and everyone has their own interpretation of why these two or these two belong together: that was mine, heavily shortened.

now, if we take a peek (not too long or i’ll curl up in a ball and die), at the loustat reunion scene, yes, as in, those ten minutes of emotional torture, what do we hear? the almost ominous sound of windy weather. yeah, nature was having a breakdown too lmfao.

This Odette, said to be at least a three. Could be a four.

typical new orleans: a hurricane is on its way. and louis du pointe du lac has business to tend to. he's eternal. all is well. he sees the rat killing sketchy gangstpire, follows him, dives into whatever the hell remains of lestat’s lair, they talk, they bawl, they embrace each other like two star-crossed fucking lovers who haven't touched each other in a millenium… and the hurricane outside, odette’s introduction, grows stronger. the windowpanes rattle, clatter, sirens are heard from the streets, the wind only grows stronger, fiercer. and amidst all that chaos, that upcoming destruction, they stand as one, in the middle of it all, holding onto one another.

if loumand were to forever have that fossé, that gap between the two of them, loustat were the opposite. hurricanes bring death and havoc, but those two things were keeping them together. they saw death, gave death, offered death to strangers, to one another at a certain point, and that is what their love is about, in the end. lies and death kept louis and armand seemingly apart, but louis and lestat built their relationships on death, mourning their daughter’s demise and their love’s revival in the middle of a damn hurricane. loumand's relationship was always headed towards its death, its extinction, as if the bricks were meant to crack sooner or later, as if that sun ray would have lured them in and set the whole thing ablaze, then to dust. but loustat were always meant to find each other again, in my most humble opinion, fighting the chaos side by side.

know your soulmates, folks.

𓊆ྀི���︎𓊇ྀི

[unioncolours]

The 5th Majsasaurus Year

Today is the 22nd of September, 2024. As per tradition, I have written a reflection of the year that has passed since September 22nd 2023, a public diary entry of sorts. Not only is Sept 22nd Shikamaru’s birthday, but also Majsasaurus as a member of the Naruto fandom’s birthday as well. This date marks five years since I posted my first fic in the Naruto fandom. You can read my first reflection from 2020 here, the second from 2021 here, the third from 2022 here, and the fourth from 2023 here.

It's been five years guys! Half a decade of making a fool out of myself online!

I have to be honest, this year has not been the best when it comes to fandom. While not as depressing as the worst year of 2021, it’s been challenging for sure. Before I go into this year and personally reflects all its quirks and events, I’ll start by introducing my nickname that’s been used on me online; Bex.

When I got social in the Shikatema fandom spheres back in late 2019 I asked people to call me a different name, a name I chose. My back then friends said the name I chose was too long and didn’t want to call me that, so they gave me the name Bex. I accepted the nickname without whining, because there I was, new in a server, and I just followed their lead. So I became Bex online. This is important for later, hence why I told this backstory.

And now onto the fifth year of being this persona online. Keep reading if you’re interested in my year.

I finished my last review of my year by announcing to you, my followers and friends, that I was expecting a child, a theme which was very visible in the fic I published 23rd of September 2023, we hold galaxies.

Since I knew that I’d obviously would have to cut down my time spent online very drastically after my baby would be born, I planned to write one more Shikajin fic with the aim of it being around 30k long, hoped to publish it in December and then be on a longer break. However, it’s… not always that easy being pregnant haha! What I didn’t realise then but realised later was that I suffered from brain fog and that made writing challenging.

What did cherish my days was that dear SpicedGold, who I for a longer while have been close to, sent me a giftbox literally from across the globe. In that giftbox she included two homemade plushies, one of Inojin and one of Shikadai and I had never been so surprised in my life. Now two plushies of them is decorating my shelf above my computer by which I write fics! My friend @clumsydragon28sent me from another corner across the globe another gift box to me as a Christmas gift, where I got even more plushies! Those were of Rowlet from Pokémon and Fyodor from BSD and both plushies decorate my living room. The gifts were truly cherished.

However, because I had rather forcefully decided that I WILL write a final pre-motherhood fic and had a deadline if I wanted it published before my baby was born, it meant I stuck with the first idea I had that sounded mediocrely interesting. Yeah, I should not have forced myself at that point, but wanted to go on a break with a bang and wanted to give my readers something to chew on before giving birth.

And I had very strong faith in myself that I could make it.

For months I battled through writing a plotline my heart didn’t love and my due date got closer and closer and all I could see was plot holes and words that refused to form. I realised 30k would not be enough for whatever I was cooking, and I had now strayed very far from my original plan.

I started to procrastinate and, because I had gained 60 user subscribers on AO3 (if you’re one of them, thank you so much), I decided to host a silly bingo with prompts. I received a few prompt-asks and wrote mini fics for them, all around 600-800 words. It was a wonderful way of procrastinating. You can read my mini fics here: Jinchuuriki Temari part one and two, TemaTen modern au, a fluffy Shikatema, and a Witcher AU.

Not even when my maternity leave had begun before the due date had I made any significant dent in my primary fic and I failed my quest to publish it, even if I by then had a good idea of what to do of the story.

After my child was born and when I had healed form the birth the brain fog vanished immediately. With zero sleep and a tired body I once more had a vision for my fic, and I banged through the rest of it like a madwoman. I had inspiration once more!

TERRORISE, the Shikajin fic, was published at the end of March 2024 and ended being 56k long. It is definitely not my best fic by any means, and there are at least two or even three places where I know I could have added a subplot to up the word count to my trustworthy 90-something thousand words to make a deeper and more profound story, but at that season of my life I could not write a better story than what TERRORISE ended up being. The missing subplots were the lie Inojin told, and Chocho and Sarada’s common backstory, which were only mentioned and alluded to, but not explored like they could to have made a better story. The final chapter was published by the beginning of May, and I have not re-read anything of it.

I had already decided before my baby was born that my project when they were here would be to re-edit To go down with the Sun, my first long fic from 2019. I had often thought about re-editing it finally, since before 2019 I had never written something vast that in English before. That meant my fics at the beginning of my career had language errors that I couldn’t see then, but now was aware of. I started re-editing in May, thinking I would change and add to a good amount of scenes, but in the end, I only added a little bit to one scene aside from correcting and re-editing the rest, which honestly surprised me, even if I so boldly stated in my previous official diary post that there would not be anything to correct. That my bold claims were true did surprise me after all.

Beside that I also added more scenes to three chapters from no one cries for unknown soldiers, my Shikatema WWII fic from 2022, just because I could and I had wanted to do it for a longer while, since that fic would have benefited from having a longer editing period than what I allowed it to have two years ago. So I did! It was fun and lovely to dive back into one of my favourite projects of all of my time in fandom.

In the middle of re-editing Sun I was struck by very sudden and intense inspiration to write about Saiino. In my ‘giving birth’-projection fic with Temari I waxed poetics about the wonders (and horrors) of biology when it comes to childbirth and ended the fic on a very powerful and positive note, but now felt inclined to write a fic which featured a mother who did not have a wonderful start of her motherhood and who fell ill to postpartum depression instead of having a lovely baby bubble.

As if possessed I smashed on my keyboard and crunched to get the fic done in time for Mother’s Day 2024. I made it, and the Ino-centric fic to grow a bed of flowers was published late that evening. I even rushed my ending a bit to make it but even with a rushed ending the entire atmosphere of the piece of so bittersweet and lovely! Postpartum depression is also such a hidden or even taboo topic that I think it was very needed in our fandom to have a description of that.

I could then go back to To go down with the Sun, and I had even commissioned the skilled and wonderful @keijidraws to make a poster for the fic, which I felt like that fic deserved. Over these five years that has passed since I wrote the first words of this fic (if my memory isn’t failing me, I think it was 10th of October 2019 I started writing Sun), To go down with the Sun has given me so, so much. My most kudos and hits, many friends, online crushes, *fans* even if I dare to call them that, soulmates, it all, all started from that fic. It deserved getting reborn and loved again. It was a rather easy job banging through published chapters and just edit them. I had finished everything the final week of May and was really proud.

By the beginning of June I was planning to write an InoTema fic, and was musing between two different settings and plots when I learned that the way I was perceived in what was part of my fandom circle was not a positive one and, being my own fault for how I behaved or was, or not, it affected me badly. Being online caused me panic attacks, I got problems with my sleep, and I had nightmares. And because of that I started to hate the person I was online. I hated Bex and I hated Majsasaurus. I hated the way I was that had led to me being perceived that way and if I hadn’t known better and counted down from ten, I would have nuked myself off the internet out of shame and hatred.

I would have deleted this tumblr you are reading this post from. I would even have deleted my discord server I have loved and nurtured since 2021 without the blessings of the other mods, just nuked it, leaving them shocked and detached from the group of friends we had. I would have ruined it all. I would have deleted everything but my fics on AO3. No, deleted wouldn’t have been enough, in my hatred for my own persona, for Bex, this person that was given to me all those years ago, I wanted to kill her.

I constantly planned suicide letters in my head to post here online. Not killing myself in real life of course, but online. And killing Bex would mean to kill my love for Naruto the series and ShikaTema and Shikajin. How does one kill a hyperfixation?

I started working on it, on killing her. I created a new tumblr and a new nickname and logged out of this one. I hid my twitter account. I decided to never write a Naruto fic again. As you can see, it got very bad very fast. Some of you might think I overreacted at words on a screen and that it all was my own damn fault and I should have reacted or gone about it differently, but it just got like this.

The entire month of June and July I spent in darkness when it came to fandom. It felt like Shikajin would be the only thing keeping me tied to Naruto again and in a desperate attempt to cheer myself up I began editing To dance above the Stars, the sequel to To go down with the Sun, and my true favourite out of the trilogy it belongs to. To try to force myself to not give up, I asked my dear friend Soverel6 if she wanted to make me a poster and she happily agreed, without knowing I was one click away from deleting myself away from her.

Then I began editing sometimes in June. I thought the fic sucked when I re-read it this time around and rather than adding, deleted a lot of the content. Most of the content I deleted was unnecessary preaching for a cause I ran in the fic, and I toned down that theme a lot. After 4 chapters I was ready to give up, to just not bother anymore with this fandom crap and leave for good, when Soverel6 surprised me with an almost finished poster. For her sake, I could not give up. I could not fail the trust she had in me, and I kept fighting for my joy within the little world of the fic.

After a month of sulking and feeling awful I managed to once more spew fun ideas for @notquitejiraiya's sequel fic to her masterpiece Grandmaster, which we jokingly call GMJ (the real name is Piano Man haha). SpicedGold also got to know I was feeling bad and to cheer me up started writing the sequel, When Waterlilies Waken, to the fic that originally made us friends, Let Wildflowers Grow Free. I felt so honoured she got around to do this, after me talking (pestering her) about a potential sequel for a long time. During this time I had reached my favourite parts of the fic, To dance above the Stars, I was editing, and thanks to the support I received from friends when talking about it I finally managed to find it fun to work with a fic again. I was still greatly offline from Naruto spheres, and when I sometimes logged into this tumblr just to check I was very careful to never reblog anything and often logged out again with a pending panic attack.

I uploaded the edited chapter of To dance above the Stars onto AO3 when it was finished in August along with Soverel6’s poster and finally dared to show my face on twitter again. Twitter felt safer than tumblr for some reason.

By this time, two months since I began hating being part of this fandom, I finally started feeling hope again. I decided that, before taking the ultimate decision to actually leave, I must write one final long fic of ShikaTema. I mused different prompts, all of them long and angsty and bloody of course per my brand and what I love to write the most. I mused different plots and it was between yet another historical au which would take place during WWI, another historical au which would take place during the 1700s and focus on witch-hunting, or a fantasy au which would be my Witcher AU, which I have mused for a bit and am really fond of.

I decided in the end to attempt at the Witcher AU.

However, I didn’t start writing it, and started writing this text instead already in late August. Then, after knowing I had received so much love on the WWII-au from 2022, one of my best fics to be honest, in the spur of the moment I decided that I will record the entire fic as a podfic. I begged my dear friend Becks to make me a new poster for the fic’s re-launching as a podfic and since she luckily agreed, I promised myself to do it. I, Bex, would try something completely new! And dauting. And tough. Recording wasn’t a problem in itself, I love reading things out loud, but the chapters were longer than I thought when reading out loud, and the software I downloaded for the editing was not as easy to manoeuvre as I predicted.

Then the fatigue hit again. I got stuck. I have not given up and I will finish it, but the deadline is maybe by 2025, haha.

When I got stuck with recording myself, I managed to scrape together a will to finally, after three months of practically deciding to never write any fic ever again, write a one shot. That one shot ended up being a second chapter to we hold galaxies, my projection fic I published exactly a year ago on Shikadai’s birthday 2023. I first thought of making it a one shot, but ultimately decided to add it as a chapter instead, and I was pretty satisfied with how it ended up being.

Now I am facing what to do next. I still had that promise of a long ShikaTema fic, but the Witcher AU didn’t feel as good as it once did. The hype inside me waned at the same time as new ideas spurred. New ideas. Did you hear that, “new ideas”? That is the sound of me almost being healed from the intense hatred I felt towards my Naruto online persona during the summer.

One of the new ideas is for example connected to Inojin’s canon fate in Boruto the manga, during which chapter he ‘died’ I was not feeling good. I was already trying to strangle my love for him and then he DIED on me. I cried. Yeah, no, judge all you want, but I was not exactly mentally stable enough to witness that. Now, however, I am luckily having fun with engaging with canon once more, since Inojin survived, and we got some good food from the chapters. I had fun in my safe space with other people who were engaged with his fate.

I am now brooding an intense and angsty Shikatema canonverse long fic. Canonverse! It’s almost like going back in time to when I thought I only could (and wanted) to write canonverse, back in 2020 and 2021. I also have a wlw idea again, after deciding to trash all the InoTema ideas that were ruined due to my anxiety in June, so it feels… normal again. It feels like I normally feel like in fandom, in a place where my imagination can run free and I can be the antithesis of a dude bro: the silly bean sister.

I find it ironic how I every year say I have learned to deal with fandom grief, but this year proved once more that I will never learn. But I think I will have to learn to accept that I won't learn.

Now we are here again, at the 22nd of September. Five years has passed since I uploaded the first chapter to my first fic, and I have 950 000 words uploaded on AO3. Earlier this year I promised myself to beat the delicious one million word count before 2025, and I know I realistically still can do it if I start writing tomorrow and stick to it.

But I will not retire until I have that sweet one million words on AO3. It would be too much of a failure to do so. So, dear sixty something subscribers, followers and other lurkers, expect at least 50k more of Majsasaurus fic in the future.

And yes, you can call me Bex. I don’t want to kill her anymore. I asked her forgiveness for being so angry, especially when I proudly bought a Temari Funko figurine in September. I don’t think I can kill this hyperfixation just yet. I don’t think I even want to kill it.

I can, with confidence, say, that there will be a 6th Majsasaurus Year in 2025, at least in some capacity.

Thank you to those who stopped me from deleting everything.

Majsasaurus Bex

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, today we have a rec list of bottom Louis fics that feature DILF Harry. If you enjoy our rec lists, please be sure to like and reblog this post to help spread the word. Happy reading!

1) You Make My Heart Beat Like The Rain | Explicit | 6611 words | Sequel 1 | Sequel 2

"You're stunning, eh?" Harry whispers, his Canadian accent thick with lust. It usually slips out when he gets horny because he knows it turns Louis on. Harry presses his lips into the curve of his neck. His hot breath makes Louis shiver. He opens his eyes and sees Harry's bigger, tattooed arms wrapped around him, completely engulfing his smaller frame—and, fuck, maybe he is up for it.

Why does his boyfriend have to be such a fucking DILF? He blames it on a twitter thread he read a few weeks ago.

2) Coldest With The Kiss, Nice With The Cream | Mature | 11136 words

Louis has a thing for older guys, no one knows why but he just does.

Harry is a lonely dad.

And oh, Damien loves yellow a little too much.

3) Give So Much (Not Enough) | Mature | 24610 words

“For my little lion,” Louis slid the smoothie bowl in front of Oscar, letting him dig in with his little hands. “And for daddy.”

He didn’t process the bowl in front of him, the push across the table causing a raspberry to roll off and fall on his lap, because Louis calling himself mummy may make him feel all sorts of mushy emotions, but Louis addressing Harry as daddy was suddenly having a very different effect on him. Since when did Louis saying daddy out loud render him speechless?

“Daddy’s still sleepy, but we’re up bright and early right Ossie?” Louis’ cooing shook him out of his daze. The man coughed, picking the raspberry off his lap and swallowing it with unintentional, and very unnecessary, eye contact with Louis. “Well, is it better than your protein smoothies and why?”

Harry chuckled, spooning another heap of the strawberry banana goodness into his mouth, “Way better sweetheart.”

4) My End And My Beginning | Explicit | 24749 words

When Louis starts as an intern at a new company, he becomes particularly fond of the boss’ five children. And maybe the boss himself as well.

5) I’ll Find A Home Inside Your Heart | Explicit | 25808 words

In awe Louis stared up at him, his eyes wide and his lips parted. “I don’t usually make it a habit to go on dates with my clients,” he breathed.

Harry grinned, his touch light as he carefully swept a strand of hair out of Louis’ eyes. “Make an exception for me?” He asked cheekily, chuckling when Louis rolled his eyes.

“Well, since you asked so nicely,” Louis snorted and let Harry link their fingers together where they rested on the countertop. Finally, a shy smile crept onto those pretty pink lips of his and with his hands on his hips, Louis jut his chin out. “Are you gonna kiss me or what?”

Of course, Harry didn’t need to be asked twice.

6) Sedative Duty. | Explicit | 46588 words

Pop-star of the moment Louis Tomlinson is on his third-world tour. He decides to hire renowned professional dominant Harry Styles to unwind while on the road. In an effort not to raise suspicion by the crew, fans, and press,  Harry pretends to be his bodyguard. He ends up being far more than that.

7) Somebody To Love | Explicit | 51471 words

A hesitant fist hovers, ready to knock on the hard surface, when suddenly the door swings open revealing a small child with a huge smile plastered on her face.

“You’re here, finally!” She beams up at him, haphazardly brushing her orange hair away from her eyes.

He can’t help but let a grin fill his face at her anticipation. Bunching his pants at his ankles, he crouches down to her level. “You must be Margret.”

“Actually, only my daddy calls me that when I’m in trouble,” she explains with an assertive tone. “So you can call me Margo.”

“Well, Margo, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Louis.”

8) This Is How You Fall In Love | Explicit | 53538 words

When Harry Styles' 16 year old daughter dragged him along to see her favourite artist, Louis Tomlinson, in concert, the last thing he had expected was to be invited backstage. Unaware his life was about to change forever.

9) The Bachelor | Explicit | 53953 words

“Don’t tell me, you’re Lola,” Louis pointed at the little girl and she crowded her father’s leg shyly, sticking her thumb in her mouth.

Harry chuckled lightly and cupped the back of her head with a large palm, his calloused hands catching the fine strands of her hair.

“She’s shy,” Harry told him. “Plus you swore mighty loud…M'Harry by the way,” he stuck his free hand forward, his diction belying his way of life- slow and casual.

The somewhat dainty-looking loud-mouth flicked a look to his hand, then back to his face. Harry waited patiently for him to take it.

“Louis,” he finally shared, clasping Harry’s hand with his smaller one and giving it a gentle squeeze, placing his other over the top of both of theirs. “Tomlinson,” he added. “I’m your personal assistant,” he added.

10) Ever I Saw | Explicit | 58342 words

Daisy Road Ranch.  A place for those in need to receive the help they deserve, even when they may not believe it.  A place where they don’t have to fear what, or whom they left behind.  A place where they can find themselves, or find a different way of coping with their issues.  Daisy Road Ranch.  A therapy ranch for those who’ve been abused.

Louis needs to find himself again.  Harry wants to help.  Can they find their way?

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[ladykailitha]

Well Met By Moonlight Part 2 Take 2

I'm re-posting this chapter because for some fucked up reason that paragraph refuses to BE fixed because tumblr has fucked up the UI so fucking bad, nothing is working like it is supposed to.

Link to the original post with all the username tags here.

***

At dusk, Eddie was met by a giant grey and black wolf.

“I’m here to see the alpha,” Eddie said in lieu of a greeting.

“The alpha is resting and cannot see anyone today,” the sentry growled, deep and rumbling.

Eddie nodded. Steve’s injuries were pretty bad, it would make sense that it would take a couple of days to heal.

So he tried the next day, and was met with the same response, but this time it was a shaggy little wolf with a noticeable limp even in wolf form.

Eddie knew he could take this one, no problem, but he had promised Uncle Wayne he would play nice.

On the third day, Eddie was starting to lose his patience.

“You will let me through to see the alpha,” Eddie growled at the female wolf.

“Vampires aren’t welcome here,” she insisted, baring her teeth in a snarl.

“Then bring him back out,” Eddie sneered, “that I may see that he is safe and not being held captive.”

She growled low and deep and Eddie was forced to fly off.

The forth day came and he had had enough. He flew down and landed deftly in front of the compound entrance.

He walked up to the lone sentry and said, “I will see Steve Harrington, now.”

“Hop said you can’t come in,” the sentry told him, a shaggy, short wolf with a lopsided gap tooth grin.

“Hop isn’t the alpha,” Eddie growled, low and menacing.

“He is while Steve is hurt,” the sentry snarled back.

Eddie drew himself up to his full height and pulled out a large revolver and pointed it in the face of the wolf blocking his path.

The wolf scoffed. “That won’t do shit.”

Eddie flicked open the barrel of the revolver to reveal silver bullets. He plucked out a bullet from its chamber and held between two talons. “It weakens me, but it will kill you. You want to take that chance?”

He threw the bullet in the air and caught it deftly in the chamber of the gun. He flicked his wrist again and the barrel snapped shut. He pointed the gun at the wolf sentry. “I bet if I start shooting, it’ll do some real damage...” Eddie hissed.

Suddenly there was a crashing through the woods as a thin blonde girl with all the coordination of a baby giraffe came stumbling out to the property line waving her hands, screaming at him to stop.

“Wait!” she cried, skidding to a stop in between the sentry and him. “Let’s be civil about this, shall we? I’m sure there’s been some misunderstanding.”

He turned the gun on her and moved his finger to the trigger. “You have ten minutes to bring out Steve, Buckley or I will start shooting. Because even if silver has no effect on you, little bird, I have no doubt a bullet to the head will still kill you.”

She put her hands in the air. “Whoa!” She turned to the sentry. “Get Steve now.”

“But Hop said–”

“Steve’s the alpha,” Robin snapped. “Get him now.”

The curly furred wolf turned, running back to the forest line on a tear.

Robin smiled chagrin at Eddie. “Sorry.”

*

By the time Dustin got to the cluster of cottages he had shifted out of his wolf form and was fully human.

“Steve!” he screamed. “There’s a vampire on our doorstep threatening to kill Robin if you don’t come out in ten minutes.”

Steve peaked his head of the center cottage and shook his head. “I’ll be there in a minute.” A moment later, he stepped out of the cottage and walked past Dustin.

But before he could even take two steps to the entrance, Hop stopped him, gripping his shoulder tight. “Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

Steve raised his eyebrow and shook off the older man’s grip. “To the entrance.”

“Like hell you are,” Hop snarled. “You are not going anywhere near that vampire and that’s final.”

Steve cocked his head to the side and then drew himself up to his full height, an ominous energy radiating from him in waves. “I am the alpha now. You don’t get to bully me around.”

“I was the alpha before and I’m back now,” Hop snapped back, bringing himself up to full height, too, being taller and broader then Steve by a lot.

“You were captured by hunters and Joyce and Murray had to bring you back,” Steve growled, low and deep in the back of his throat. “I won my position by tooth and claw. You want to know how Murray got that limp?”

Hop’s head snapped back. He had known how Murray got the limp. Challenging Steve for the position of alpha. It had been a god damn miracle Murray survived. Or rather, it was Steve’s mercy that had granted Murray the right to live.

“You could fight me right here, right now and you would die,” Steve continued, lower and even more menacingly. “But so would Robin and her blood would be on your hands.”

Hop bowed his head and moved out of his way to let him pass. Dustin, who had quickly gotten dressed, hurried to catch up with Steve as the alpha made his way slowly and determinately to the entrance. Hop brought up the rear.

Steve smiled as he caught both Robin and Eddie both relaxing at the very sight of him emerging from the treeline, flanked by Hop and Dustin.

“Hey, Eddie,” he greeted warmly.

Eddie grinned. “Hi-ya, sweetheart, just making sure you’re safe, sound, and still the alpha.”

Steve grinned back. “Yes to all three. I told them that you would move heaven and earth to make sure I was okay.” His eyes flick over his shoulder at Hop. “They didn’t believe me.”

Eddie laughed and then cocked his head to the side. “Aww...you didn’t tell them about my daring rescue?”

“Oh I did,” Steve said with a huff of laughter. “They didn’t believe that either.”

“He pointed a gun at a teenager!” Dustin protested, pointing frantically at the gun in Eddie’s hand.

Steve turned around and glares at him. “Did he know you were a teenager or were you in wolf form at the time?”

“Wolf form...” he admitted ducking his head. Then he lifted his head with a growl. “But still! He threatened to kill me!”

Eddie tilted his head thoughtfully. “I don’t believe those were the words I used. I believe I threatened to start shooting you, not kill you. I did threaten to kill the keeper though.”

Steve shook his head and turned back to Eddie. “You’re not really helping your case, Eds.”

“I don’t want no coven vamp hanging around my pack,” Hop growled taking a step toward Eddie threateningly.

“Wait? Is this what this is about?” Eddie asked, confused.

“Eddie’s not coven,” Steve scoffed. “I don’t where you got that idea from.”

“All vampires are coven,” Dustin said with all the certainty of a fifteen year old.

“No they’re not,” Steve said. “Smell him, he’s not coven.”

Dustin and Hop started sniffing Eddie’s direction and the vampire put his hands up.

“This was a lot more familiar then I was intending to get today,” he huffed with a twist of his upper lip.

Hop frowned. “But all vampires are supposed to register in a coven when they enter city limits.”

Eddie quirked an eyebrow. “No they aren’t. They’re suppose register if they’re in a coven, not have to be in a coven.”

Dustin sneered. “Who the hell told you that?”

Eddie cocked his head to the side and said brightly, “Oh I don’t know...the man who was there when the law was written?”

Hop took two steps back. “Who did you say your maker was, boy?”

Steve covered his mouth to hide his smile as Eddie’s face transformed into a feral grin.

“Wayne Munson.”

Dustin blinked in shock as Hop took another step back.

“And that would make you Eddie Munson?” Hop asked, his voice beginning to shake.

Eddie ran his tongue over his fangs menacingly. “That’s right, so unless you want to him to hear all about this little fiasco about trying to bully your way back into being the alpha without a rite of combat, I’d walk away right now.”

Hop nodded, his eyes wide with fear and turned, transforming into a wolf. He ran away with his tail literally between his legs.

Dustin and Robin turned to Steve.

“You sure know how to pick ‘em, Steve,” Dustin huffed. “It’s not like he’s a born vampire. If he was born, you know Hop wouldn’t give a shit.”

“I never would have thought that someone as blue collar as the former police chief was such a fucking classist,” Eddie said rolling his eyes.

“Bitten vampires are feral,” Dustin replied. “They have no sense of family or community.”

Eddie opened his mouth to argue, but Steve scoffed.

“Only when their makers don’t stick around,” he said, rolling his eyes. “And if Hop didn’t teach you otherwise, I’ve got a long road ahead of me to turn this pack in civilized people instead of the savages people like Jason Carver thinks we are.”

“Hey!” Robin said, “No one is suggesting that Eddie is feral, only that’s why Hop lets Max date Lucas. She’s born and Eddie’s not. It’s not classist.”

"No, it really is, Robs," Steve said. "If covens actually gave a damn about something other than lineage and breeding, or punished vampires who turned and taught those turned howto behave properly, maybe so many of them wouldn't be feral.”

Eddie chuckled. “I can see why my uncle likes you.”

Dustin cocked his head to the side in confusion. “Why do you call him that? It’s not as though he’s really your uncle. He’s technically your sire or whatever it is you vampires call your maker.”

“Actually he’s is my uncle,” Eddie said with a goofy grin that made Steve’s insides melt. He counted off with his knuckles, “He’s my great, great, great, great, great...” he nodded, “great uncle.”

Robin and Dustin looked at each other in shock. “He’s what now?”

“My dad and me are descendants of his younger brother Lawrence,” Eddie explained. “My dad doesn’t have any other family and my mom’s family didn’t want anything to do with me. So when my dad decided to do a dangerous job that would mean a lot of money if he pulled it off, death or serious jail time if he didn’t, he turned to Wayne to look after me.”

“And he turned you into a vampire...?” Robin asked, hunching her shoulders up around her ears.

Eddie laughed, throwing his head back. “Only because I asked him to for my eighteenth birthday.”

Dustin’s eyes nearly burst out of his head. “And he agreed?”

Eddie shrugged his shoulders and Steve could tell he didn’t like how Robin and Dustin were being about his turning. “Sue a man for wanting to live forever with the one person whoever gave a damn and that person for agreeing because he loved me, too.”

Steve turned around and put himself between Eddie and the other members of the pack. “I think that’s enough questioning him for now. All you need to know is that as alpha I say he’s okay. Hopper, Ted, Murray or anyone else for that matter can challenge me if they have a problem, but until then, what I say goes.”

Eddie shivered. He had never heard an alpha use his command voice before and coming from Steve it was as hot as hell.

The young wolf bowed his head. “Yes, alpha.”

Steve laughed, ruffling Dustin’s hair fondly. “Go on, I’ll be fine.”

The young wolf rolled his eyes but did as he was told.

***

Part 3 Part 4

[xavsgirl]

Stone cold heart

Pairing:Tyler Galpin x outcast reader

Plot:you’re good at making boys fall for you,but what if for once you fall for someone?

Contains:anger,some fluff

Warnings:swearing words

Author’s notes:no hate for the festivity mentioned it’s just a reference to the show

Masterlist

Thanksgiving:the most boring and stupid festivity Nevermore had ever celebrated.

The hypocrisy hidden behind the garlands and the concert was bigger than principal Weems’ ego,which obviously got on your nervs.

“What’s your duty today?” Kent asked you

“Pilgrim village,but I’m skipping it”

“What do you mean you’re skipping it?”

“I mean that I’m doing that,Kent”

“Yeah but like..how? I mean it’s not like you will go unnoticed”

“Do you really think anyone will pay attention to me? All the students are busy with their stupid jobs and principal Weems has to kiss the mayor’s ass,I’ll surely go unnoticed. I’ll just hide somewhere”

“If they find out,you’ll get expelled”

“Can’t wait to get out of this awful school anyway” you scoffed,leaving the boy.

Nevermore simply disgusted you:students were all so excited to attend classes together and meet their friends while you just wanted to spit on everyone’s face.

The school was trash,the people even worse:but how could you find decent classmates when you were surrounded by idiots that put on a pedestal Bianca Barclay,Wednesday Addams or Enid Sinclair? Embarrassing,you wanted to throw up.

Those girls had nothing:the first was a blowhard,the second a future serial killer and the third a dumb wolf who couldn’t even howl. Ridiculous.

You huffled,opening the door of Jericho café.

It was warm inside,and empty:the perfect place in which to spend the next few hours before finding a new hideout.

The only problem was Xavier working there for the day,but you knew he would have never said a word,he was wrapped around your finger since you dated him.

Well,to be honest date was quite an euphemism:you had a thing with him just to humiliate Bianca.

Everyone in the school had their eyes on them:

“They’re so cute”

“What a nice couple”

“I want what they have”

Bullshit. Barclay wanted to show off she was the artist’s muse, the only one slightly in love was Thorpe but those feelings disappeared the second you got closer to him.

You had an important quality:get people the right way. That was it.

Oh and also,fake it till you make it,or just fake it in general.

Thorpe’s ideal type was quite different from the person you were:he had this weakness for sweet,pretty girls so you didn’t really know how he could had fallen in love with Bianca,she was just a bitch.

Anyway,you started getting to him with cute smiles and nice words,then you started being around him during classes,during lunch,and when he actually trusted you,you dropped the bomb:

“Is it true that Bianca uses her power over you? Oh no wait,if she does you wouldn’t know…” you cringed so bad at the stupidity you had to put in those words,but it worked as Xavier’s eyes changed their light.

“What do you mean?” he asked

“I’ve heard Yoko saying that”

“What the fuck?”

“I swear,she was in the hallway talking to Kent,she said that Bianca was working well with her power on you”

That was it,all it had taken you to make Thorpe go mad and break up with Barclay. Fun part? You weren’t lying.

Barclay and Thorpe were just another one of the many illusions which used to hide the hypocrisy of Nevermore.

A few weeks later,after wasting all your precious time trying to cheer the boy up,he finally declared his feelings to you and the rumour spread.

You dated for around a month,the perfect time to get everyone’s eyes on you and enjoy people whispering any time Bianca walked past. They all knew what she had done,you “unintentionally” told Enid, who uploaded a post about it on her blog.

Once you couldn’t stand Xavier’s corny attitude anymore you broke up with him,putting on a dumb show in which you played the sorry girlfriend who fell out of love and ditched him.

The dude was stubborn tho,he tried to get back to you many times,but you had a new job to complete:Enid’s fallen.

You started from stealing Ajax,who had been her crush for a while. Dating him was even harder than dating Xavier.

Xavier was corny,yes,but Petropolus,damn it,he was an explosion of flowers and rainbows,the perfect partner for Sinclair…if only you weren’t around.

You grabbed the mask of the good girl,threw it in the trash can,and put on the one of the dumb fairy. What a pain,but it worked.

In a few days Ajax barely knew who Enid was,which obviously hurt her,but the cherry on the top of the cake was the secret Petropolus told you.

No one actually knew that Enid had never fully turned into a werewolf,all she could do was make her claws appear and…they were the colour of her nail polish.

When the boy had told you,you had to avoid burst into a loud laugh so you just carried on with your plan.

You opened a parallel blog to the one Enid’s managed,and wrote a very long and detailed post about the little werewolf not being a real werewolf.

All you had left to do was enjoying the students laughing at her in the yard,in the classes and even in the lunch room.

Another secret had been revealed.

So funny,less funny was breaking up with Ajax as he was another stubborn guy and tried to get you back multiple times,fighting with Xavier.

You were so proud of your job,there was just one more person left:Wednesday Addams,how could you destroy her? Well it wasn’t like she wasn’t already doing that on her own,but she was still a quite popular girl no matter the controversies,she even had a bunch of loyal friends.

You were busy thinking about a new plan when it showed up right in front of you:

“How may I help you?l Tyler Galpin asked with a notepad in his hand and a smile on his lips.

You didn’t really considered that normie,you knew Addams probably had a crush on him,and him on Addams,Kent had told you,but you had rarely seen him around so he was a kind of faded imagine in a corner of your mind.

“An espresso,no sugar thanks”

“You like it bitter”

“Just like human’s existence on this planet”

“Okay…” Tyler furrowed his eyebrows and walked towards the kitchen.

You looked at him:maybe this one was easier to get,he had a crush on Wednesday which was a total psychopath,he may had liked a plotter bitch.

A few minutes later the brunette came back with your coffee,and put it on the table,right in front of you

“There you go. Hopefully this coffee will make your existence less bitter” he joked

“I don’t think so. I believe to Leopardi when he said that nature is an evil stepmother”

“Leopardi seems like a funny guy”

“He actually isn’t”

“Maybe he should try one of my coffees”

“Deaths can’t drink coffee,Tyler”

The boy looked at you confused

“How do you know my name? I have never seen you around”

“I’m from Nevermore,you’re a well known name in between the students”

“Oh,exciting. I hope they have nice words for me”

“Nothing is nice in there”

“I don’t believe you”

“You’ve never been in that school”

“But I know the students,they’re sweet people”

You laughed

“Even koalas seems sweet,but they can send you to the hospital”

“You’re pretty intimidating” Tyler giggled

“Oh,I can be” you said,and drank your coffee while the boy welcomed a new person inside the café.

A few days later you were back,sitting at the same table as before, and it went on for many many weeks until you became an abitual customer and Tyler’s friend.

The boy slowly started opening up with you:he told you about Wednesday,the way he couldn’t understand her feelings and some more irrilevant stuff,including stories from his childhood.

“Of course you don’t understand her feelings,she has none” you replied once he went on the Wednesday topic for the millionth time

“No,she has,she just doesn’t show them”

“Yes,of course. It’s like saying that a serial killer is sorry for his victims but kills them anyway”

“Why would you bring that up?”

“Because Addam’s gonna be a serial killer one day”

“You should become one too,then”

“Excuse me?” you scoffed,Tyler laughed

“You two are way more similar than what you think”

“No”

“Yes. Y’all are pessimistic,misanthrope and have the same intimidating aura” Tyler pointed out

“It’s not enough to say that we’re similar”

“It is”

“No. She’s a freak”

“You too are a freak Y/n,you’re an outcast”

“Being an outcast doesn’t mean being a freak”

“Okay,sorry. But you two are similar,you can’t change my mind”

“I’m prettier” you spit out,Tyler laughed again

“Egocentrism is another point you two have in common. Y’all would be best friends”

At those words you couldn’t keep up with the conversation no more:you stood up and hit the table with a fist

“I would never be her best friend! Never! I have nothing to share with a crazy attention seeker! I hate her! And I hate every single student of Nevermore! I want the whole school to burn down so don’t you fucking dare to compare me to any of those hypocritical assholes!” you yelled,everybody in the café turned to look at you,so Tyler grabbed your wrist and lead you to the bathroom.

“Are you mad?” he asked locking you two inside the toilet

“You started it”

“And then Wednesday is the psychopath…”

“Don’t mention her! Stop it!” you were about to yell again

“Okay,okay. May I ask you why you hate her so much? And why you hate Nevermore so much?”

“Nothing is true in there. People act like friends and then talk behind their backs,love is based on magic powers and all they care about is the appearance. They all want to be popular because the real world has always treated them like trash,and they can’t accept it. You know what,Tyler? Maybe I was wrong when I said that outcasts aren’t freaks,we are freaks,we just try to not show it. We all wear masks,I did that too” you said,and walked out from the bathroom as you wanted to go back to school.

A few days later you were laying on your bed:it was past midnight but for some reason you couldn’t sleep,so you grabbed your phone.

You had just turned it on when it rang,a text had just come in:it was Tyler’s.

You furrowed your eyebrows,confused,but checked the text anyway

“Up for a night ride? :)”

“If you really want,yes”

“I do. See you in 10 mins x”

You got dressed up and when Tyler texted you that he was outside Nevermore, you sneaked out and got in his car.

“Hello” he greeted you with a smile

“What brings you here,Galpin?”

“I wanted to see you”

“I know,I’m hard to forget”

“That’s funny because you actually are. I keep thinking about the words you told me in toilet”

“I was just mad”

“You were,but I feel like you are also frustrated”

“If I wanted to talk with a therapist I would’ve asked Mrs. Kinbott” you growled

“Okay,okay I’m sorry. As an apology take the package on the backseats”

At those words you turned your head,noticing a small rectangular present. You took it and opened it.

“A compilation of Leopardi’s poems?” you were surprised:boys used to gift you with dumb stuff like flowers,chocolate and stuffed animals,no one had ever given you such a nice gif,only Tyler.

“This is for what?” you demanded

“To make your life less bitter” he joked,this time you laughed with him.

“If I tell you the other poets I like will you gift me with all their books?” you asked,browsing the pages

“I will”

“There are plenty of them”

“I bet I’ll find all their books in limited editions”

“Sure…” you rolled your eyes,looking outside the window:you couldn’t see much besides the shape of the trees and the shiny stars

“Where are we going?” you asked

“It’s a surprise”

“Is this a date or something?”

“It depends on your perspective:do you want it to be a date or not?”

“Who knows” you shrugged your shoulders

“You’re hard to get,aren’t you?”

“It depends”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you want the true me or the one of your dreams? A few boys got the girl of their dreams but not me”

“Do you talk by riddles Y/n?”

You laughed “Confusing people is my favourite hobby”

“I’ve noticed-Tyler stopped the car-here we are” he said.

You got down,realising that the boy had brought you in a beautiful clearing in which you could see the stars.

“I am not kissing you under the midnight sky Galpin,I don’t like romantic movies”

“Keep the kiss for the next time,I just wanted to show you this place. It’s pretty”

“Do you bring here all the girls you like?”

“Who knows”

“I bet you brought here Addams but she didn’t like it”

“You’re wrong on this one:Addams never came here”

“But you invited her”

“I didn’t. I haven’t seen her in a while to be honest”

“Interesting”

The silence filled the air for a second,then Tyler talked again

“Tell me about the poets you mentioned earlier”

“What?”

“Tell me about them”

“Well I like Baudelaire,Blake,Foscolo,Hugo and the Maudits poets”

“That’s our literature,not the outcast’s. You studied at a school for normies,didn’t you?” Tyler was determined to know you,the true you,which kind of caught you off guard.

When you had decided to get his heart in order to steal him from Addams you expected his type to be quite similar to the person you were,but he didn’t stopped at what you showed him,he wanted to go deeper. He wanted to know you for what you really were.

“It’s none of your business” you scoffed

“So that’s how you play? You don’t show your true self to collect the boys you want”

“Excuse me?”

“Okay let’s stop this game. During the Pilgrims Day Xavier told me about the things you did”

“Galpin let me give you an advice:stay away from Y/n. She plots and plays”

“What do you mean Thorpe?”

“She uses people and then ditches them. She’s the reason why everyone knows Bianca’s and Enid’s business. She’s a good actress:all smiles and sweet eyes,but behind those…she’s a devil.

“When we started getting closer I’ve realised that you wanted something from me,but what? You didn’t know me,it was impossible that you wanted to expose me in some ways,like you did with your classmates,then I realised. You knew Wednesday had a crush on me,she was your target. There must have been a way in which you got to Barclay,it was Thorpe,while for Sinclair it must have been Petropolus. I was your way to Addams. Xavier told me about “smiles and sweet eyes” but you just showed me coldness and cynicism,I thought it was because you knew I had a crush on Wednesday,everyone knew about us,so you just tried to be like her. You weren’t trying tho,were you? This is a part of the true you,the one you wanted to show me to get to my heart. The point is that you fucked a few things up so I ended up proving to myself that I had traced a really accurate profile of you”

“Screw me-you smirked,Tyler was smart-may I ask you when I fucked up?”

“Well,the words you said in the toilet,then your riddles about the girl of everyone’s dream and your true self. Xavier was right:you do play with people to make other people sink,and you do it so well. That’s sick,that’s the plotting of a villain”

“It’s checkmate for you Galpin,congrats”

“I want a reward” he said,reducing the space between you two.

Your noses were close,your eyes chained together:invisible discharging flying in the air.

“What do you want?” you demanded

“Two things. First one:the truth. Tell me everything I don’t know about you. Every single thing. I’m sure there’s more on why you hate Nevermore students so much”

“Isn’t hypocrisy a more than valid reason? Nevermore is just a huge lie,a way to humanise creatures that have nothing human besides the appearance. I was a normie once,I loved my old school,and classes,literature in particular,and I had many friends. Then one day my powers showed up and my parents rejected me,sending me to that shitty school with a shitty hierarchy in which who lies the most becomes king or queen faster. I am not the villain of the story,they are,I am just the ones who’s uncovering the truth”

Tyler grabbed your chin,smirking “Keep on talking”

You hit his hand,which fell along his body “I’ve started with Bianca,moved to Enid,now I’m taking care of Wednesday,then I’m gonna move on to my next victim. They will all fall one after another. I’ve never been the popular girl at Nevermore,never wanted to be,but I’ve always wanted to be the Truth”

“Does being the Truth implies lying and manipulating people Y/n?”

“If you want to expose a liar you have to play by his rules”

Tyler laughed “You’re a psycho,you will become a serial killer, not Wednesday”

“What’s the second thing you want,Galpin?”

The boy shrugged his shoulders and scratched the back oh his head,then he grabbed you by the arms and pushed you against the trunk of a near tree.

“A kiss” he whispered in the twilight,clashing your lips together.

The kiss was rough and passionate,it sent shivers along your spine. Maybe that time it was different,maybe you did play with Tyler,but Tyler played with you and,at the end of the manche,both of you lost,or won,depending on the perspective from which you were looking.

The boy fell in love with you,but,for once,you did the same,and maybe,it wasn’t that bad:you knew Tyler hid many surprises behind those deer eyes,you could feel it,you had always felt it.

Just like you,and anyone else,he was wearing a mask.

“Now you tell me the truth” you broke the kiss

“What truth?” he played dumb

“The one which only you know”

Tyler smirked,stepping back,his hands slid in the pockets of his brown leather jacket

“Do you know Lauren Gates?” he demanded,his eyes shining of a strange light born from the dark depths of his soul

“No”

“Then let me introduce you to her,she will help you burning Nevermore down…exactly as you wished” he smirked,and with that your dreams would’ve turned into reality.