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srhlsx · 5 years ago

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Rewritten & Reposted March 23, 2021

MASTER | Ch. 7 |CHAPTER 8 | Ch. 9

A few days after your encounter with Bokuto at the corner mart, you were on your way home again from practice. A few girls from your team and a few members of the boy’s team were walking off campus, practices having ended around the same time.

“Absolutely not, that is completely false!” You laughed, looking at Daiki with a shocked expression as he tried to convince you that what he was saying was correct.

“I swear!” He yelled, looking to one of his teammates for reassurance. “Tell her, Shouta! Fukurodani locker rooms literally have attendants manning them.”

The teammate he was looking to, Naguri Shouta, looked bored with the conversation but nodded nonetheless as he walked next to you. “Haven’t seen it,” He said, shrugging casually, too cool as he always was. “But wouldn’t be surprised by it though, with their bourgeois lifestyle over there.”

“Fancy words will not win this argument,” You tugged a lock of his styled hair teasingly. “Plus, they are not all that over there just because they are an academy.”

Daiki continued to argue his point, insisting that the rumor he heard was true even though he himself couldn’t confirm it either. Shouta just continued to nod along casually, walking next to you to keep a safe distance from Daiki’s erratic motions, making little side digs at his captain under his breath that made you laugh.

“Proof or it’s not real!” You exclaimed as you all continued to walk through the streets, a few people from the group breaking away to their homes as you went.

“How am I supposed to get proof?” Daiki laughed, then his face lit up like he had the greatest idea in the world. “Hey, text Bokuto and ask him!”

You gasped, agreeing that it was in fact the greatest idea in the world, and pulled out your phone to do just that. You didn’t notice the way the other boy standing with you bristled slightly at the mention of Bokuto’s name, but when you looked up you did notice his expression quickly clear from a furrowed brow to his more typical blank expression. You gave him a closed eye smile while he returned with a half smile of his own.

“Can I walk you the rest of the way?” You tore your eyes away from the crosswalk sign to look up at Shouta waiting for you to respond.

“Ah, no no!” You waved him off with a grand smile. “It’s so out of the way for you. I will let you guys know what he says!”

After crossing the street on your own, you waved at Daiki and Shouta as you turned to leave. The two of them went their own direction, Daiki slinging an arm over Shouta’s shoulders and pulling him close to probably tell some kind of joke as they walked.

The further you walked, the less crowded the city around you became. You let your feet move on auto-pilot down the alley, and through the mostly abandoned park.

New Message: 5:22PM

Bokuto: Yeah right! I wish! You offering??

To clean up after a bunch of gross high school boys? I’d rather run the hill ten times!

Bokuto: No! Just me! Be my lil helper~

Bokuto: we can get u a cute outfit

Bokuto: like a maid cafe!!!!!!!!!!

Bokuto: BUT WITH MY NAME AND NUMBER

Absolutely not.

You rounded on a house, nothing fancy but obviously well taken care of, and took the steps leading up to the front door two at a time. You knocked out a familiar rhythm and waited patiently as a thundering of small feet met your ears from beyond the door.

Greeted by a pair of grey eyes, weathered with age, you crouched down to meet the height of your little sister, Yua, as she politely pushed past the older woman who opened the door to you. She started spewing off about things she had accomplished that day before you could even get a word out to her.

Further into the house, you could see your little brother packing up his school things into his bag. “Baba helped me with history homework today,” He called out as a form of greeting, walking past the old woman to start your short trek home. “She said she was there when it happened.”

“I said I remembered it happening, I wasn’t there Eiji-kun.” The old woman laughed, handing over your little sister’s bag as your two siblings began their descent down the stairs.

The older woman’s eyes crinkled as she looked up at you, tired but still happy. You appreciated this woman more than you could ever express.

When things began to go downhill with your mom you’d had to move homes to accommodate for the extensive bills that were coming one after another. Your own grandparents lived in different cities, but when one of your grandmother’s friends who lived in Tokyo heard what was going on she sprung into action like it was a second calling for her, even though you’d only met her a handful of times.

She was adamant about you calling her family, hence Eiji calling her Baba, and would accept nothing but thank-yous and dinner together once a week in exchange for helping your family when you needed it most. Between the time school got out for your siblings and you being able to leave volleyball practice, they would be safe at her home until you were able to collect them - every day.

“Thank you,” You nodded at your elder. “Tomorrow we have a practice match, so I may be a bit late picking them up.”

The woman waved a hand in front of her face absently, brushing off the extra time you had loaded on her suddenly. “No mind,” She said, rubbing your arm comfortingly. “I’ll make sure they have dinner then.”

You gave her hand a tight, but gentle, squeeze and turned to where your siblings had gone. You followed them to the apartment complex just a few houses down. Graffiti littered the lower walls, nothing too obscene but also nothing that was supposed to be there in the first place.

Unlike most apartment buildings, yours did not have any indication of who lived where via buzzer system. All the homes opened up to the outside, marked with floor numbers and unit letters, some were upside down so it could get a little confusing. It wasn’t the most glorious of living arrangements, compared to where your family lived before your mom had gotten sick, but it was home and you would make out of it what you could.

The small, digital clock on your desk let out a soft beep as it shifted over to midnight. You rubbed under your glasses at your eyes, blurring your vision slightly before focusing on the words of the book in front of you again. You had gotten a good amount of work done that night, knowing that tomorrow you’d be home late from your practice match and wouldn’t have nearly as much time to fit in school work after.

New Message: 12:01 AM

Bokuto: You didn’t tell me you had practice match w FA girls tom?

technically today… Slipped my mind! Forgive me!?

Bokuto: w kiss?

shoot your shot!

Bokuto: meet me after!!!!

Ugh fiiine - twist my arm…

Bokuto: oh hell yeah, gonna walk you home SO hard~

You’re disgusting?? - but curious about how you walk someone home “hard”

Bokuto: involves aggressive chivalry, you’ll see

The following message was an animated sticker of an owl tipping off the top hat he was wearing. You muffled a laugh behind your hand, glancing over your shoulder to make sure your siblings were undisturbed in their bunk beds. Satisfied you hadn’t woken them up, you said your goodnights to Bokuto and locked your phone after making sure you had an alarm set for the morning.

Down the hall, you could hear a set of keys jingle. The door to the apartment opened and shut, if you hadn’t been listening so intently you might not have heard it at all. A deep sigh echoed through the walls and you almost thought about getting up to greet your father as he finally arrived home, but something stopped you. Instead, you silently flipped the switch on your desk lamp and let the darkness flood the room once more.

As you sat motionless at your desk, holding your breath while a shadow passed beneath the door to the bedroom. The figure paused, hesitating a moment - you could imagine your father’s hand hovering at the doorknob, wondering if he should enter to see his children or not. The shadow continued to move, opening the linen closet and rustling around for what you knew were blankets and a spare pillow.

There’d been many previous nights over the last seven months when you’d woken up to your sister asking for a snack or a drink, and when you’d gone to the kitchen to fetch something for her you’d caught your dad sprawled out on the couch under a makeshift bed of old blankets. At first it made you sad, the thought that your dad couldn’t even sleep in the same bed he once shared with your mother.

Over the months though, as his work hours grew longer and longer, you started to form a routine of folding up the linens in the morning before your brother and sister could see that their dad was sleeping on the couch.

When the hall light finally turned off, you took that as your opportunity to get up from your desk and finally go to bed. You unclenched your hands, which you hadn’t even realized were in fists tight enough to turn your knuckles white. Since you shared a room with your siblings, you pulled the thin futon out from under their bottom bunk and spread out the blanket you had tucked away within it.

As you pulled your own blankets up to your chin, getting settled into your comfortable nest of warmth, you heard your little sister grumble sleepily. “Neechan?”

“What is it chibi?”

“You haff good dreams ‘kay?”

“You have good dreams too, babygirl.”

#bokuto koutaro #koutaro bokuto #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu!! x reader #bokuto x reader #fukurodani #hq!! x reader #hq!!#hq

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diyunho · 5 years ago

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The Joker x Reader - “John Wick” Part 3

Y/N left The Organization 3 years ago for the one reason strong enough to make her settle down: love. But after tragedy crushed her to pieces, she decided to leave The Joker and seek refuge with an old friend and mentor - John Wick. Needless to say The King of Gotham can’t accept his wife running away without a word, especially since he didn’t have a chance to tell her things she might want to hear.

Part 1 Part 2

The Joker listens at the bedroom’s door, impatient to have a conversation with you. It seems you are engaged into a fervent phone call with Winston and figured he shouldn’t interrupt.

“Please, anything you can discover would be a great help! U-hum… U-hum… Thank you,” and you hang up, which queues your husband to walk into the room.

You completely ignore him, scrolling through the numerous text messages you sent to your connections; several are already answering back and hopefully you can get some news soon. The more people are involved into the project, the more chances to find Kase and untangle the mystery of what happened to him after he was removed from the car.

“You left me there,” The Joker sneaks in and closes the door behind him. “Luckily we had Wick with us so he gave me a ride.”

No reaction. He takes a deep breath, trying to get your awareness.

“I didn’t sleep with Evelyn; sex wasn’t the reason why I kept visiting her. I know how that asshole made it sound and he was totally out of line!”

You quickly glance at him, busy replying to Ares since you feel you’re going to explode soon.

“The only skill I was interested in is the fact that she is an excellent painter and a popular art smuggler, OK?” J raises his voice, sort of annoyed you neglect to participate into his monologue. “I did not cheat, alright?” he approaches his wife. “First of all: I’m VERY picky! Second of all: why would I want a woman everyone else had?! I don’t like used toys. Third: nobody’s been polishing my gun as you tastefully addressed the issue! I have one Queen and I married her!!”

A little bit of doubt in your eyes and he utilizes the opportunity.

“You said you saw me going to her house? I did! The Bowery King asked if it was for the last 6 months? Yeah, I did! You know why?!”

At least now The Joker got your attention: you play it cool but he guesses you’re torn apart by his confession.

Many unfortunate events crammed in lately and hating the man you love made life infinitely more unbearable.

“Why…?” you barely muster the strength to inquire and he sees it as a possibility to mend a few broken pieces; although you can hide your emotions well, J can still read between the lines.

Maybe that’s why he answers with another question:

“Do you realize there are just three Monet paintings in circulation on the black market in the entire world? You admire his work and it took a lot of effort and a substantial fortune to acquire The Water Lily Pond painting. Evelyn Black helped with the transaction, then I had her make some modifications to the original masterpiece.”

You keep staring at The King of Gotham, uncertain about the stuff being tossed your way: is he lying or telling the truth?... In your line of work translating feelings is a huge part of the job; ultimately you had the best mentor to teach you the ropes when you started with the organization: none other than the legendary Baba Yaga. Despite his reputation and to your own amazement, John was one of the few hitmen with integrity and perfectly mastered the aptitude of not being a jerk. Such a rare gem… And blissfully unaware of it himself.

On the opposite end, The Joker is a jerk and flawlessly acquainted with his own “captivating” personality that made you fall in love with him anyway.

Also, doesn’t appear to be deceitful for the moment.

And you despise yourself even more for wanting to believe him.

“What… modifications?...” you throw him a bone and J is definitely not going to pass on the alternative of explaining his actions.

“I wanted to surprise you so I took advantage of Miss Black’s capabilities in the art field; I had her add small images to the authentic canvas: an evolution of you being pregnant, the nine frames culminating with a tenth: the new mother holding our son. Similar to a timeline,” he emphasize and you look intrigued, which might be a positive sign. “Needless to say it was tedious, difficult work, especially because she had to apply special pigments you can’t find at every corner of the street. Apparently you can’t mix old paint with contemporary shades, thus I had to order aged, special colors from Italy, Spain and France. That’s why I went to her place so often: I had to supervise the long process and make sure it turns out astonishing. Then…” and The Joker pauses,”…Kase was gone and I didn’t know what to do with my gift: bring it home or not? Would you have loved it? Would it make you sadder? I continued to drive to Evelyn’s and glare at the stupid painting for hours, undecided on what to do…”

J watches you bite on your cheek, then straightens his shoulders as you utter the words:

“… … … You ruined a genuine Monet?”

Your spouse might be a smooth talker when needed, yet he’s not wasting his versatility on this statement:

“I didn’t ruin it; I made it better!”

Silence from both parties. A good or bad omen? Hard to decipher the riddle with two individuals tangled into a relationship that somehow worked despite countless peculiarities meant to keep them apart.

“I have to talk to Jonathan,” you finally mutter and The Joker steps in front of you.

“Talk to me!”

“Unless you know the exact location of the suitcase full of gold coins he’s been safekeeping for me, I really have to speak to him. Or do you want to hammer the whole basement searching for it?”

Y/N walks out of the bedroom and J lingers inside, evesdropping on the conversation happening downstairs. He can’t understand the chat, but you are probably notifying John about the details your husband left out.

Might as well join the party, therefore The Clown pops up in the living room with a plea impossible to refuse:

“Hey Wick, can I stay here? I don’t care if you say no, I’m not going to leave.”

Your friend crosses his arms on his chest, focusing on the random topic:

“How could I deny such a polite request? Of course you can stay Mister Joker; my house is your house.”

You’re watching the free show unamused; usually it would make you smile…now you lack the depth for such connotations.

“Don’t get smart with me, Wick!” J growls and Jonathan pushes for a tiny, unnecessary quarrel.

“I’m not; although generally speaking, I fancy considering myself a smart guy.”

The Joker opens his mouth and you’re not in the mood for whatever the heck they’re initiating:

“I’m going to pump, then after you dig out the suitcase I’ll take half to the Bowery King,” you announce your plans to them.

“You can do that and rest; I’ll deliver the coins,” John immediately offers. “I can stop by Aurelio’s car shop and ask for his collaboration: he has a lot of associates, doesn’t hurt to get him involved. You have plenty of gold.”

“I have two more suitcases in the Continental’s safe and two more at The Penthouse. It doesn’t matter if it’s all gone as long as I can find my son.”

“I know gold coins are preferred; don’t forget we have a lot of money too,” J reckons with spite.

Is he reminding you or Jonathan?...

*************

Your husband spent the last hour in the garden, talking and texting with a lot of people; needless to mention he’s capitalizing on his network also. Winston disclosed Stonneberg’s contract is still opened, meaning the son of a bitch is out there; you have to scoop him before anybody else does.

“Y/N…” The Joker tiptoes in your quarters. “I thought you were taking a nap,” he huffs when he sees you at the edge of the bed.

You glare at the vial on the nightstand, sharing your idea for a future you wish will come true:

“I didn’t have my medicine in two days; I won’t take it anymore because if we get Kase back… I will nurse him. It all goes in the milk and I want to be able to feed my baby… Do you think his little heart is still beating?...” you sniffle and J is currently debating on a clever response since his mind is blank; one could deduce messing up is encoded in his DNA, but on such a huge scale… well, it gives new interpretations to the term even for him.

The grieving woman seeking reassurance for their loss is trying to make sense of the pointless occurrences that lead to Kase being an innocent victim and The Joker can’t render clarification: he has no clue why he asked her to marry him and why she said yes, it’s not that he’s husband material or a family man. Perhaps Y/N thought he could be… just enough to get by, that’s why she accepted his proposal.

Most women would have cringed at the concept. Most women. Not Y/N.

Most women would have flinched at the notion of having his baby. Most women. Not his wife.

Above all, she trusted J with their son and he treated the three weeks old like a trinket: didn’t drive him home because he had an important meeting, didn’t bother to assign escorting cars nor extra security. The King of Gotham took his child’s safety lightly and it definitely had severe consequences. Too late now to fix past mistakes... but he can attempt.

“You’ll be able to nurse him, OK?” he sits by you and hands over his cell. “Can you enter your phone number in here? Or am I not allowed to have the present digits?”

You’re hesitant and he slides the screen while you hold the gadget.

“Lemme help you,” The Joker sarcastically mumbles. “It should be the first on my list, right where the old number you canceled was.”

You exhale and fulfill his demand out of pure frustration when he squeezes in a second innocent petition.

“Chose my avatar.”

You grunt at his rubbish, scrolling through his folders for a picture anyway; J hopes the largest file will get your attention and that’s the point. How could Y/N miss it?!

Entitled “Baby”, the humongous cluster of pics contains 5,723 items. You open it quite absorbed by its size; what’s more puzzling is the collection depicting Kase’s ultrasounds, hundreds of frames with you being pregnant taken without you knowing: there’s a few when your ankles were so swollen you had to sleep with your feet up on 4 pillows, others with you munching on strange food you craved, more with you in the shower focused on your bump, a decent amount of couple selfies when you were sleeping and J had to immortalize the moment without waking you up and approximately 1,500 images of the newborn.

“You didn’t gross me out when you were pregnant,” The Joker reminds a teary Y/N. “Not sure why you would believe such aberration...” he pulls you on his knees and yanks the phone away, tossing it on the nightstand. “I would also like to underline I didn’t have an affair with Miss Black, alright?”

J lifts your chin up, forcing to look at him.

“Let’s put it this way: why would I fuck around with another woman when I have a wife at home that wants to kill me on a regular basis, hm? Where would the fun be? I mean, she didn’t pull the trigger yet but it’s exciting to hope she might. You know me: I’m a sucker for thrills!”

“Do I?”

“Huh?” J steals a kiss and you frown at his sleekness.

“Know you?”

“Yeah,” the green haired Clown acts composed while in fact his feathers are ruffled. Before you catch onto it he has to ultimately admit: “I’m sorry I didn’t drive the car… I should have…”

The Joker holds in his breath when your arms go around his neck very tight.

“I’m suffocating…” he grumbles. “I can’t tell if you’re trying to hug me or choke me to death,” J keeps on caressing your hair, prepared to block your attack in case you’re actually in killing mode.

This is the excitement he was speaking about: with you, one could never know until it’s a done deal.

“I bumped into Magnus at the Continental,” you give him a bit of space to inhale much needed air and The Joker is surprised at your revelation. “I had no idea about his scheme, otherwise I would have skinned him alive right on the hotel grounds! I wouldn’t have cared about the consequences!”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” J cuts you off and he can tell you’re getting mad; maybe you think he doesn’t give a damn but the reason is simple. “You would’ve been declared excommunicado for murder on neutral ground and I don’t want my wife to be the target of such punishment from the company she so proudly retired from. I need my partner!”

The King of Gotham touches your forehead with his as you whisper:

“I hate you!”

“Mmm, regarding this true love affirmation, I’m gonna need you to take a break from detesting me until we have Kase, then you can despise me full throttle again. Deal?” he extends the palm of his hand and you reluctantly shake it, not realizing you’re reacting to his nonsense. “Is that a smile?” J returns the favor with one of his creepy silver grins.

“No.”

“Liar,” he pecks your lips and can’t explain the weird feeling in his heart when you kiss him back.

*************

Jonathan enters the house and becomes suspicious after a few minutes: too much silence.

Omg! Did you and The Joker engaged into a brawling that ended up badly? Did you end each other?!

John frantically runs to the garage, nervous to see your car and J’s are still parked inside. Shit!

“Y/N?” he shouts, concerned about your fate; The Joker’s… irrelevant. Nobody in the garden, patio is empty also. Downstairs is deserted thus he rushes upstairs to your room. The door is not completely shut and he slowly pushes it, knocking.

“Y/N? Can I come in?”

The first thing he notices are clothes scattered on the floor, then he halts his movement at the sight of Y/N and her husband dozing off on the bed sideways: the naked bodies are covered with a blanket, but he can tell you’re snuggled in J’s arms.

Jonathan steps backwards, guilty of invading his guests’ privacy; he certainly didn’t expect to intrude in such a manner and softly closes the door, grateful it’s not what he feared.

You and The Joker are so worn out the sound of your phones vibrating on the nightstand doesn’t wake you from the deep sleep. Your numerous contacts keep replying back to the text messages, the most important one showing up on his cell: one of the people J reached to is Evelyn Black and the two sentence conversation lights up the screen.

“Let me know if you see Stonnenberg.”

“He’s here.”

Also read: MASTERLIST

You can follow me on Ao3 and Wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

#the joker x reader #the joker fanfiction #the joker imagine #john wick imagine #john wick x reader #the joker jared leto #the joker suicide squad #the joker #joker #joker fanfiction #joker jared leto #mister j #Mistah J #Mr.J #dc #dcu

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ooc-charming-david · 4 years ago

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A & U for the fandom ask game? :D

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

Oh boy, I have so many ships. Like. So many. But don’t multiship, so only like 1 ship per character, and usually only like a few per fandom. So this doesn’t get batshit long, I’ll start with my current obsessions du jour:

OUAT:

OTPs: Snowing and Frozen Swan

Platonic Relationships: Daddy Charming, Mama Snow, Charming Wolf (Charming & Red), Grandpa Charming.

Harry Potter: OTP: Wolfstar

Platonic Relationships: Harry & Sirius, Golden Trio, Marauders, Harry & Luna, Harry & Hagrid, Harry & Dobby, Harry & Remus, Harry and ALL THE WEASLEYS

And Miscellaneous that I’m not totally obsessed with right this second but that I will always circle back to (in no particular order):

OTPs: Elizabeth Bennet/Mr Darcy (pride&prejudice), Merthur (BBC Merlin), Fosterson (MCU), Stucky (MCU), Neo/Trinity (The Matrix), Jake/Neytiri (Avatar), The Doctor/Rose (Doctor Who), Legolas/Gimli (LOTR), Crowley/Azirphale (Good Omens), Link/Sidon (BotW), Jamie/Claire (Outlander), Victor/Yuuri (Yuri on Ice), Buffy/Angel (Buffy), Erik/Christine (PotO), and like... more but that’s what I can think of right now.

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

Ohhhh good question.

1) Harry Potter

Sirius Black - Sirius has been my number one favourite character from any work of fiction since I was about 12. So like... over half my life. It’s almost hard for me to put to words why he’s my favourite, because he just feels so intrinsically tied to my heart. Sirius is good and brave and loving. He puts the people he loves before himself, always. First James and then Harry. He’s been through hell and he isn’t okay, but he’s kind. He’s cracked but not broken. I could write a 5000 word essay about why I love him so very much and how much he means to me. I have endless headcanons about him. Like. Endless. You know, he stayed in Azkaban and didn’t even try to escape until he found out Harry was in danger. He didn’t do it for himself, he did it because his love for his godson is so profound, and he had to protect him from Pettigrew. I just.... @ me some time for an essay about it. I won’t write more here but yeah he’s just... my favourite forever.

Hermione Granger - Hermione got me through the worst time in my life. I’ve always related so very much to Hermione. I was bullied horribly in elementary school and high school (like to the point where I was escorted off the school premises by the police for my safety once, and the school board apparently had a meeting about my case. Like. It was BAD). And seeing how Hermione was so bullied, especially in the first book, and how Harry and Ron became her friends... I read that when I needed to read that the most in my life. In my heart, when I was growing up, I was Hermione, and when I had no one, I always had Harry and Ron.

Remus Lupin - Goddamn I love Remus. He’s been through so much and has been ostracized for something that isn’t his fault for most of his life. He has a softness and a patience and a gentle kindness that I will always love him for. He’s such a wonderful teacher, and another parent to Harry. I want an au where Sirius and Remus raised Harry more than anything, y’all. Remus is just so beyond wonderful, I can’t even.

2) Once Upon a Time

Charming / David - Y’all do I even need to say it? I love literally everything about Charming. He’s so profoundly selfless, loving, brave, kind, romantic, loyal... and yet flawed and real. He would do anything for his true love and his family. He’s the best dad and the best husband I can think of in fiction. He’s just the best and I love him with my whole heart. I could say so much more but I don’t want this post to go on for 100000 years.

Snow - Y’all know I love my Snow. Snow is strong and tough and brave, and yet she’s always forgiving, and soft in her love and understanding. She will do what she has to do to survive and to help those she loves, and even those she doesn’t. She has been hunted and tortured and traumatized, and yet always remains kind, forgiving and hopeful. I love her so very much. She reminds me of my late Baba, sometimes. My Baba was a holocaust survivor -- her parents, siblings and best friend were all murdered (except for one brother), and she always said of the Nazi monsters who did those terrible things that she wouldn’t even slap their faces. Some people think Snow is weak for how forgiving she is, but I see nothing but strength in her.

Emma - How can anyone not love Emma? She’s the one that started it all. She is her father’s daughter trough and through. She’s strong, passionate, takes no shit from anyone, and loves her family. Her relationship with her parents are two of my favourite platonic relationships of all time. (Also she’s a beautiful bisexual disaster and I love her.)

3) Marvel (especially MCU)

Jane Foster - LISTEN. I love Jane Foster with my whole entire heart and anyone who doesn’t love her can FIGHT ME. She’s a tiny fiery Jewish Genius and she’s the BEST. The first Thor movie is one of my favourite movies of all time. The beauty of a scientist falling in love with a God/Alien is just so profoundly beautiful, y’all. She’s strong and smart and brave and so very real and I love her so much. I am SO BLOODY PUMPED to see her become Thor in Love and Thunder.

Thor - I fuckin love Thor, y’all. As you’d see the second you walking into my apartment. Thor has such a beautiful character arc in his first movie, going from a dumb, entitled jock to this caring, soft, kind man who saves kids and would do anything for his lil scientist soulmate. He is such a fish out of water, and he’s just such a wonderful, loving man and I love him SO MUCH. Also, his power set is just so fuckin cool, y’all.

(oh gods now I have to pick between Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, and Clint Barton???? How could you do this to me, Becky?!)

Steve Rogers - Steve is the character who I most relate to in the MCU, especially pre-serum. I, too, am short and have shitty joints and will always stand up for the little guy. Steve is a tiny hero in the body of a suped-up god. All he wants is to do the right thing, to help everyone he can, and to protect Bucky Barnes. Steve and Bucky are one of my alltime big OTPs. That man was ready to start a whole goddamn war to protect Bucky, don’t @ me. Also, as the grandchild of holocaust survivors, how could I not absolutely adore a man who beats the shit outta Nazis? My Hero.

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astereaholloway · 6 years ago

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- ̗̀ * ( sophie turner + cisfemale + she/her ) have you seen ( aster holloway ) walking around campus ? they are a ( twenty-one ) year old, studying ( botany + entomology ). we hear they are in ( theta sigma eta ), and can be ( opinionated & daunting ), maybe it’s because they are an ( aries ). they sort of remind us of ( abandoned greenhouses, spinning bike wheels , iridescent pocket knives ), maybe we can find out more ! * ̖́- + habitat

i yeet’d holliday for this child o’ mine pls love her bc i love her sm i’ll prolly change her fc to sophie turner as soon as i get tired of cropping gifs of saoirse but enjoy her face for now sksksk. like this n i’ll come to u!!

tw: fire, death, cancer, etc. etc.

gen. info

full name: aster holloway

nickname(s): n/a, give her one n she’ll cut you probably

b.o.d. - april 1st.

label(s): the hellcat, the minefield, the connard, etc. etc.

height: probably like 5′7″ or 5′8″ tbh

hometown: inglewood, california

sexuality: chaotic. lesbian.

bio. info

hasn’t had the most......stable, life

born to dahlia verbeck, a botanist, wildlife conservationist, and volunteer firefighter whose presence was very well known in south california’s environmental scene

to keep a long story short, she married maverick holloway; a sleazy low-rank cop with a smoking problem and an obnoxious personality when she was 19. he was nearly twice her age. nobody knows why she married him, or why she tolerated him

the relationship was by no means abusive, but it was lackluster

this led to dahlia having a one night stand, and baba boom baba bing, aster was conceived

the only one who knew that the child wasn’t maverick’s was dahlia’s twin brother, donovan, whose career was p much the exact same as dahlia’s

they were basically both mad scientists; when dahlia started slacking because of her pregnancy, donovan would kick it up

like ykno the twin scientists in bioshock infinite ?? that them like they were eerily alike, always finishing each other’s sentences. nightmare fuel.

the only difference was that donovan was considerably less intense than dahlia b/c dahlia was the kinda lass who would set fire to your car

anywAYs so aster was born and everything was fine n dandy until she got a lil older and it suddenly became clear that this child was absolutely not maverick’s at all because they looked. nothing alike. like u know when u can just tell ?? yeah. yeah u could tell

maverick left dahlia afterwards and it was essentially up to her to raise aster alone. donovan had his own wife and kid to take care of and sort of backed down from his career to do so. house dads ftw

aster grew up knowing her dad as some ‘deadbeat no good’ simply bc dahlia was bitter

also grew up as the kid who would hold worms over another kid’s face and taunt them w/ it. so like, playground bully. that was aster. she’s not ashamed of it

she was often left on her own to do her own kinda shit b/c her mom was always busy out in nature n’ shit but aster never minded; loved her mom a Lot

aster’s life changed when she was nine

her mother had been doing research out in the ~wilderness~ with donovan, after months of convincing him of doing this one last project with her~ when the wildfires started

it spread so fast, and they were already too far away from the road

it took them two months to confirm that the twins were dead

rather than leave aster to maverick, elaine--donovan’s wife--took her under her wing and moved across the country to boston alongside myra, her daughter

elaine always held a resentment towards aster because of her mother, but never did anything about it--it was just always, sorta, implied ?

but myra and aster got along swimmingly despite being polar opposites

aster was p much a feral child, and myra had been receiving etiquette lessons since birth, practically--like, literally

elaine put them in the same hobbies but aster always found ways to be wildly different from the ~standard~

myra learned cello and flute, aster started up on bass and drums (breaking both instruments, repeatedly, for many years)

elaine forced dance onto the both of them, and whilst they both excelled at ballet--aster switched over to a more free-flowing dance as soon as she was able to

(that and when elaine tried to put aster in sports instead of dance--figuring her fiery nature would be put to good use--aster managed to get kicked off of every single team of every single sport she tried b/c of her aggression. theyve had to fight a few lawsuits after aster’s broken a number of noses and sporting equipments)

myra was learning two languages, aster? dyslexic and could barely read english as it was; science made sense to her, however. plants? especially.

people confused myra and aster for twins nearly all the damn time, despite only being cousins, they were so alike and yet so opposite

that was, of course, until they got into a nasty spat when they were seventeen

it was something about dead parents and resentments and yadda yadda; it didn’t end well

aster wound up running away......all the way back to los angeles.

n i mean like......homegirl literally managed to run away across the gd country w/o getting caught or murdered

by the time she arrived in los angeles her aunt was sort of like ‘fuck it ur almost 18′ b/c....aster was nearly 18 by the time she arrived in the city, and elaine contacted maverick who in which found aster

aster did not want to go with him, after hearing stories about him just being no-good

but at that point, maverick was one of los angeles’ head detectives with a beautiful apartment and a beautiful wife and a beautiful dog and just kind of living his best life ?? after dahlia’s death he had really cleaned himself up y’kno

aster still kind of resented him but that was more of an inner thing

anyways she started attending ucla b/c her mother attended ucla, but her mother wasn’t a part of a sorority

it was one of those spur of the moment decisions and like nobody knows how aster ended up in theta sigma eta b/c she’s like a grumpy grandmother

but like she dun’ did that

we stan

a year ago maverick was diagnosed w cancer and has been in the hospital battling it ever since, aster is admittedly effected by it but like would never tell anybody ever

she doesn’t really tell anybody anything about her life, like, it’s a gd mystery

uuuuuuuuh aster works in a floral shop as a florist and grows her own shit ranging from fruits, vegetables, weed, shrooms, uh opium poppies yeah she Does that

it’s organic n fresh n shit like the devil works hard but aster works harder

she doesn’t really ~sell~ too often b/c she’s kinda selfish w her stash but it’s some top notch shit when she does

no she doesn’t grow in the floral shop she’s not Stupid

aster inherited some of her mother’s properties Out There so she drives up almost everyday to take care of her plants

uuuhh fun fact, aster’s part of a dance like...company, kind of? but not really ? outside of ucla b/c she hates being involved in school shit besides habitat for humanity

personality

v v v harsh tbh

she won’t beat around the bush, usually...brutally honest, tbh?

like lbr she’s kind of a bitch too

just v offputting at first b/c she tells it like how it is n doesn’t rly care abt ur problems

doesn’t go around lookin’ for new friends but if you’re tight w her then she’ll probably die for u like she’s v loyal

but if u wrong her like even once she’ll drop u and treat u like right shit

she either feels intensely or nothing at all n that’s like. smth u have to deal w/

she’s v v v chaotic neutral, bordering evil--really works in her own favors

became a botanist after her mother bc she admired her mother more than anybody else

not saying that being vegan is a personality trait

but

aster’s a vegan

n just super hardcore into saving the earth n shit?

litter and she’ll break ur nose, basically

v into sustainable living n shit. rides her bicycle everywhere if she can, rly rarely drives, doesn’t do fast fashion at ALL

v v passionate, will argue w/ u until u admit she’s right even if she’s painfully wrong

like super stubborn, v opinionated, assumes the worst of u immediately

a lil cynical, but is more realist than pessimist

BIG FUCKING GAY

like so gay

she’s not Out-Out but she definitely doesn’t hide it, just doesn’t think it’s necessary to be like ‘im gay’ every 5 minutes n doesn’t think it’s necessary to let ppl kno she’s gay b/c shes just like....its my business

kinda bitch to flirt w dudes for fun in order to lead them on, get them to do things for her, etc. etc. just to disappoint in the end

this is big dumbass energy b/c that’s how u get stabbed

unless aster stabs u first

kinda gal who’ll key ur car if u piss her off during a class debate, but will also stick thumb tacks into ur wheels n shit too

like.....i said she’s spiteful, right? b/c she can b so spiteful

really, genuinely, has no regard for other ppl’s feelings

her music taste is either heavy rock or straight up like grimes/die antwoord there is no in between (prolly listens to billie eilish tho)

owns a pet tarantula n yes she has it in her dorm n Yes she brings it out n plays w it n shit her name is stevie nicks n u better respect her

big slut

would never cheat on u but also probably wouldn’t date u in the first place bc she’s scared of like....being in a relationship b/c all of hers are p much on the rocks

probably carries around a pocket knife at all times

probably bought said pocket knife from a dude in an alleyway for like $5

myra also goes to ucla and theyre 100% still not speaking but that’s bc they’re both too stubborn to go to each other but like lbr aster misses her cousin

v unruly, nvr brushes her hair, usually got dirt on her clothes bc she’s prolly been digging in gardens or stealing flowers or some shit

bright side is tht she always smells like flowers

theta sigma eta is lucky b/c she cooks her own meals w her own fresh veggies n shit n she always makes too much food n like ? so good

but anyways she’s also got like no manners okay she’s so impolite

uuuuuuh god i dunno what else

wanted connections

ride or die

other friends of varying closeness

ex-friends ???

...like somebody she’s into but also...not into? v conflicted feelings

on-and-off-agains bc their relationship is awful n probably toxic but it just. hurt so good

ex-gfs

ex-hookups

boys she’s led on

boys she’s currently leading on

flirtatious encounter gone wrong [not clickbait] ??

enemies

enemies but gone sexual [not clickbait]

buyers of her products - either weed, shrooms, or opium teehee

roommate

give her somebody she was a uwu soft crush on but would nvr do anything abt bc gross romance !!

alternately, unrequited crushes of any sorts

fellow gays b/c gays always end up knowing each other

party pals

frenemies ??

sdfgh give me her dad’s trophy wife pleathe....it’d be so funny

childhood friends tht knew her b4 she moved to boston so like...ages 0-9

childhood friends tht knew her after she moved to boston so like...ages 9-17

or acquaintances bc she was....a mean one

A TUTOR just b/c she can rly struggle w her dyslexia

#uclas:intro

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hillchill · 7 years ago

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have been tagged by @itshillaryrodamn and @gefiltefishwhereareweonthis

A- Age: 23

B- Birthplace: IT

C- Current Time: 21:25pm

D- Drink You Last Had: chai (w/o milk because Idon’tenjoy them together and because I have a tummy ache rn :/ )

E- Easiest Person to Talk To: uhm, that’s difficult. I talk about different things with different people, but I used to have one person I felt could talk about everything. Sadly, after 7 years of friendship, I got discarded without even a parting message and now this person studies abroad. It hurt so much.

F- Favorite Song: I go through songs a lot, I don’t think I have an all time favourite, but pretty high are Baba O’Riley, Little lion man and The Boxer (as played by Mumford and Sons, not Simon and Garfunkel), The sound of silence, Solsbury hill, Queen’s Under pressure, Lfe on Mars, so many by the Beatles, Take this waltz, and a rotation of songs by Linkin Park (who have been a constant in my teenage years).

As for Italian ones, definitely Il cielo d’irlanda (a magnificent song about the Irish sky), Songs from De Andrè (actually closer to a poet than a singer), Gli Anni by 883, some songs by Ligabue, Tiziano Ferro and Elisa, and my all time favourite Rapper who raps about environmental causes, writes songs against Berlusconi and Fascism, Caparezza.

And a hilarious Canadian band called Arrogant Worms and their satyrical songs like Jesus’ Brother Bob or The last Saskatchewan Pirate.

G- Grossest Memory: the smell of autopsies and seeing a vegetable soup exit the stomach of a lady they cut open during one. You could see the bright orange carrots floating around the broth.

H- Horror Yes or Horror No:“In real life” gore doesn’t bother me, but I don’t actively watch films that will scare me, I am someone easy to jump scare.

I- 😍?: People who have compassion, empathy and have the general sunny disposition I don’t have. People who encourage others and help them through their struggles. People who are patient and make you feel like you’re not a bother.

J- Jealous of people: Who seem to learn notions easily. People who “have their shit together” in life. People who have a better time management than I do. People who have the strength to do many things in a day and don’t get easily tired. People who are daring. People who have the money to travel extensively

L- 💛 at first sight or should I walk by again?: walk by again, and again, and again. I am like a baby deer, you really have to approach with caution because I get scared if things move at a fast pace. Unfortunately, people tend to read my caution as a sign I’m not interested.

M- Middle Name: None. My parents had the worst experiences with their middle names and they swore not to give me one, lol.

N- Number of Siblings: None :(

O- One Wish: Die happy of the life I’ve lived.

P- Person You Called Last: My mum. Look, I am Italian, this should suffice as to explain why I called her (heheheh), plus I am being a big baby because I’ve been having this dull ache all day and it’s driving me nuts.

Q- Question You Are Always Asked: If it’s cloudy up there. Cos I’m tall.

R- Reason to 😁: my cousin’s little girl, the most adorable baby on the planet, cats, food from home, cute little surprises and gestures that let you know people care about you, Innsbruck’s mountains

S- Last song you sang to: Pocahontas (a very soulful song in German about a breakup, would recommend if only for the spectacular voice of the singer, definitely to listen to if you like Mumford and Sons)

T- Time You Woke Up: around 7 because I had very hopeful plans for the day (which I never manage to fulfil), then reset to 8:30 am, but I think I actually slid out of bed around 9 after something for my tummy had its effect.

U- Underwear Color: always had white or black but it’s because as I was little my mum never bought me underwear with designs or disney characters or whatever and I just kept doing it, even though I think I would like a colored/patterned one more

V- Vacation Destination: Japan, definitely, a well and good tour of Europe, Ireland <3 and... space? Elon Musk can I hitch a ride with you?

W- Worst Habit: worrying too much, projecting my life 5 years in the future in the possible way and then getting upset about that. Complaining about stuff instead of starting to fix my life, in general, being on the depressed/depressive side of things, a strong negative self image, comparing myself too much to said people above who “have their shit together”

Y- Your Favorite Food: Pizza over everything. And also Pasticcio and damn yes white asparagus risotto like my dad does it <3 ( i wasn’t home for Easter and MY PARENTS ATE IT with my aunt and uncle gggggrrrrrrrr)

Z- Zodiac Sign: Gemini. I used to love my birthday, but the Orange Anus decided to have my same one and now I can’t wait till he’s out of office to start enjoying it again. Which I won’t do anyway cos I’ll be getting older. So please, Mueller hurry up.

tagging: idk, I’m drained. If you like it, do it.

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flatsuke · 7 years ago

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2nd Gen Bidders - when the kids have crushes

Anon: I loooove your second generation bidders! If it's not too much to ask, can you do the bidders reacting to their kids needing help with a crush?

AAAA I’M GLAD YOU LOVE THEM!! Legit, I never thought I’d get a request for the 2nd gen kids :’)))) thank you for requesting this, anon!! ILYSM

@2bedroom-baddestbidderlove @maidofstars @bolt8826 the kids!

(I’ll also take requests for the 2nd gen bidders ;’))))

Eisuke:

Kazuma rarely ever wants to ask Eisuke for anything, but he swallows his pride because he has no idea how to handle having a crush

Eisuke’s secretly happy that his son is finally coming to him

Time for some quality father-son talk lmao

Let’s be real, he’d give shitty advice to Kazuma

“oh no that’s easy son you gotta buy them the whole store and then you can make lov—”

“eiSUKE CAN YOU S T O P”

MC would be so done with Eisuke lmao

Kazuma would end up asking MC for advice instead

MC only has one piece of advice: just don’t be like your father

Kazuma agrees wholeheartedly

It’s a little different with Naoko

He’s a bit more protective of her bec she’s his only daughter

Eisuke would keep interrogating asking her about her crush

“who are their parents?” “do they smoke?” “what’s their gpa?” “do they have a criminal record?”

“dad.....pls.....”

In the end, he’d relent and give her one piece of advice: just be yourself. anyone who doesn’t like you is either blind or stupid.

He still gives her a taser just in case

Soryu:

Poor Tatsuya’s a nervous wreck and he’s completely lost because he’s never had any experience with stuff like this

Soryu thinks it’s endearing to see his son panic because he remembers he was just as nervous about it when he was still dating

He goes the serious route and makes sure Tatsuya takes responsibility for EVERYTHING

“son, you have to make sure to take them home by their curfew, open the door for them, and i don’t want grandkids yet so make SURE you use protection when you have se—”

“DAD WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING I HAVEN’T EVEN CONFESSED TO THEM YET”

In the end, Soryu ends up making Tatsuya even more nervous than he was to begin with lmao

Baba:

Baba’s both thrilled and a bit sad.....his little baby’s growing up :’)

He asks if she needs any help or advice

Highkey he’s more excited about it than Setsuna

“nah dad it’s fine i think i’m better at flirting than you are”

O u c h :(

Okay, Baba’s pride is a little hurt, but eh, Setsuna does have more luck than he does

He cheers for her from the sidelines

“honey, make sure to send me pics of how it goes!!!”

Ota:

YUU HAS A CRUSH??? yell hEAH

Yuu’s a little nervous about it, but Ota’s like

“YOU GOT THIS, YOU’RE A KISAKI JUST SHOW THEM YOUR DAZZLING SMILE AND THEY’LL BE SOLD”

Ota hypes Yuu up about it

Like, Ota wants to make sure his son has it in the bag

“if you take them to the dog park, you’ll get brownie points for sure ;)”

Mamoru:

Ryoko just casually tells her dad about it one day

“oh yeah btw dad there’s someone i like”

It takes Mamoru a while to process the info

“.......what?”

His kid ain’t a kid no more :(

He tries to be reeeally casual about it but he fails at it lmao

“uh, so.....good for you.....just remember you can call the cops if they’re doing anything shady....and that arm-lock i taught you.....”

“dad i just wanna know how to ask them out not scare the living shit outta them”

Shuichi:

Junya pretends nothing’s going on, but Shuichi knows something’s up because Junya keeps bumping into furniture and fidgeting with the hem of his shirt

At first, Shuichi doesn’t mind it, but the fidgeting drives him crazy after a while

“junya i swear to god if you don’t tell what’s going on, i will lose it”

Junya coughs it up eventually

“there’s someone i like, but i don’t know what i should do about it”

Shu’s glasses start to glint

“ok, first you have to make sure they’re good enough for you. how are their grades? their future prospects? can they recite pi backwards?”

“dad—”

“if they pass the standard and you start dating, you have to make sure to make reservations at least 2 days in advance. make sure you know their allergies, their reaction to gluten—”

“DAD CALM DOWN I DON’T EVEN HAVE THEIR NUMBER YET”

Luke:

One day, Ema walks up to him and tells him she might be sick

“dad, i think i might have arrhythmia”

“???? why what’s wrong”

“every time i’m around this person, my heart beats too fast and my hands get sweaty. what do i do dad what if i’m dying :(”

Luke realizes what’s going on and gives her a soft smile

“it’s not arrhythmia, ema. i think what you have is a crush”

ema’s confused but she just nods anyway

Luke’s happy for Ema and tries to support her in any way he can :’)

But if anyone hurts her, he’ll prep the surgery room

Hikaru:

Hikaru thought it was weird that his normally cheeky son was oddly sullen for once, just poking at his burger instead of gulping it down

He tries to ~casually~ prod

“what, so did someone finally catch your eye or something?”

And Hayato just flinches and stares right at Hikaru’s eyes

damn this gonna be awkward as hell....

Hikaru honestly has no idea what to tell his son bec he himself ain’t really good at stuff like this

In the end, he just tells Hayato not to be an asshole and things should go smoothly from there

“i don’t think that’s how it works, dad....”

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chickenoverice · 7 years ago

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30 question tag game

thanks @miraculoustaeyong for tagging me!!

Nickname: BARAJ

Gender: i am a female

Star sign: gemini

Height: i think im 4'9 bsjdkdjg

Time: 10:01pm

Birthday: may 29!

Favorite bands: nct, neo culture technology, NCT

Favorite solo artist(s): TAEYONG he’s gonna make it as a solo artist bitch i believe. also taeil the man can SING work those vocal chords sweetie

Song stuck in my head: 0 mile

Last movie I watched: i cant remember at all bdjsjdjg

Last show I watched: ???? can’t remember this either lmaoo

When did I create my blog?: idk my friend had a tumblr so i made one, this is the 3rd one i made tho bc my interests changed drastically each time shdjdh

What do I post: nct, how much i love nct, how much i wanna suck taeyong's dick, how much i want taeil to choke me w his thighs, etc...

Last thing I googled: the nct interview i was looking for ndkjsfh

Do you have other blogs: i have too many and most of them are here

Do you get asks: sometimes 🤧 i enjoy getting asks so i hope people will send me more !

Why did you choose this blog name: when i saw taeyong i thought he looked like a doll.....yup

Following: 1429

Followers: 2399

Favorite colors: black, mauve, burgundy, maroon, basically lots of reds and pinks shdkfh

Average hours of sleep: it varies a lot..

Lucky numbers: i dunno

Instruments: clarinet, recorder, drums/percussion

What am I wearing: some weird cotton pants and a niagara falls t shirt

How many blankets I sleep with: one

Dream job: i dnt know man being 2tae’s bitch is enough for me

Dream trip: where u think i wanna go.......to see my boys

Favorite food: too many to list but some all time faves are biryani, samosa chaat, butter chicken, nihari, palak paneer, chicken tikka masala, seekh kabob, bihari kabob, shami kabob, nachos, tacos, sushi, kimbap, banh mi, falafel, and baba ghanoush skdjfhhg

Nationality: american! + ethnically indian

Favorite song now: u know i had to do it to em with the “shorty give me whip-whiplash” 😩

ok cool so i’ll tag @yukoyaki @weyoungnctdream @1am27 @jaehyunisugly @ueo @layhasonedimple @vchangkyun @chittaporno @ilyluna

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smutmylifeup · 8 years ago

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Druken Stupor - Part Two (SMUT).

Anon Request: Erika Matsuda (KBTBB) x MC

‘YOOOOO, how about an Erika fic? Can be a ficlet if you like *wiggles eyebrows*’

Author’s note: This was much harder than I expected to write. And I would just like the thank @hifftn @smile-smile-ichthys and @whatdoyouexpectthistime for the help in writing this. Without them I may not have completed it. Apologies it took so long. Anyway, I hope your enjoy nonnie.

“Fuck, shit, fucking shit fuck, shit a brick and fuck me with it. Fuck.”

______ dropped her phone as if it burnt her. Her brain throbbed and she wanted to fall so deep into the depths of the Earth’s crust she evaporated into nothing.

After previously thanking her drunk self, she now cursed her with so much hatred – she may as well have murdered herself. What in the world was she thinking? At what point was texting Erika considered a good idea?

It wasn’t.

______ dreaded to think what she had written and hoped to a God she didn’t believe in that whatever she sent wasn’t readable thanks to her drunken stupor.

She picked up her phone again, delicately like she’d wake up a dragon if she was too loud or forceful. She didn’t want to know what she had said, but she needed to know. She needed to know if she needed Mamoru to fake her death and give her new identity and move out of the city or to actually have Soryu throw her into Tokyo bay.

Both those options sounded good right now.

But then again, Mamoru wouldn’t be awake long enough to be of any help to her and Soryu wouldn’t help unless it benefitted him and the Ice Dragons.

Assholes.

Unlocking the screen once more, ______ looked at the little windows of text conversations. Erika’s name wasn’t in bold but it may as well have been since it was the only thing she could focus on.

With what little bravery she owned, ______ opened the conversation.

‘Errika. I drunk nd wisjh you were here. I know you haaate me but I can’t help but like you,,. Ur so cqute and smart and pretty and amazingg. A guy in the club keeps hiotting on mee but all I can thjnk boutt is u nd wishingd it was u.’

What. The. Fuck.

Not only was is a confession (sort of) of her feelings towards Erika, it was like a drunk love-struck teenager wrote it.

______ dropped her phone again and buried herself into her bed. Throwing her duvet over her head and blocking out the entire world.

Out of every stupid thing she’d ever done, including breaking that statue that got her sold at a black market auction, this was at the top of the list.

Her mind was racing of ways to get out of this and none were logical. She would have to face Erika and if she had told her little sheep – Rina and Kana or anyone else for that matter, it was going to be all over Tres Spades like wildfire.

Which of course meant the Auction Sponsors would hear of it too and on top of having to deal with her co-workers teasing, she’d have to deal with theirs too.

And they were merciless.

The only semi-reasonable answer came to her as she felt bile rise up into her throat and threw herself out of bed and headed to her bathroom. The remnants of last night’s alcohol and some form of food she’d either bought or made herself before she fell asleep emptied from her stomach and into the toilet.

Once she’d spewed up everything inside her, she dragged herself back to bed and picked up her phone again and dialled Kenzaki’s number.

“Good Morning Mr Kenzaki, sorry to call you so early. And I know it’s my day off but I don’t feel well, I think I’ve got that sickness and fever bug that’s been going round,” ______ was thankful that she sounded as sick as she felt despite it being because of a hangover. “I don’t think I’ll be able to come into work for the next few days, I don’t want to make any of our guests sick.”

Kenzaki was as understanding as she knew he would be. Of course he would probably double check to see if Eisuke was okay with her taking a few days off but even Eisuke couldn’t argue that making someone sick work was unfair and bad for business.

After hanging up and texting Chisato and Sakiko to check on them – both of which were safe albeit with raging hangovers, ______ threw her phone as far away from her as she could and was silently thankful that it landed on an armchair on the other side of the room as she resumed her previous cocooned state.

She refused to leave her bed for the next two days at least. Or until it no longer made her stomach flip when she thought about seeing Erika.

Two days wouldn’t be enough for that.

Her day off passed, thankfully ______ managed to sleep for most of that day giving her a chance to avoid her thoughts.

The next day was spent tidying her already immaculate room. Being a maid had its advantages, her room was always spotless but luckily, _______ found little things to do to keep her mind preoccupied.

She had a brief visits from both Chiasto and Sakiko between their shifts – she hadn’t told them what she had done and played the role of sick very convincingly in her opinion.

After her whole, ‘I’m not telling her how I feel’ conversation at the club she wasn’t about to tell them she’d actually done it while drunk. This whole thing was blown out a proportion really and she was being really childish but she couldn’t help it. The embarrassment was nauseating.

The day after, Baba showed up at her door – medicine, flowers and some homemade soup in hand.

“Pretty lady, I’ve missed you!”

Baba pushed past ______ and went straight into her room as if he owned it.

“You mean you’ve missed teasing me,” ______ rolled her eyes as she shut her door. “What are you doing here Baba? I thought you were in Europe for a while?”

“I heard our Princess was sick and rushed back to nurse her back to health.”

Baba chimed already looking for a vase to put the flowers in.

______ wished she’d fallen for Baba’s charms, at least they’d be reciprocated even if it was just for a while.

“Thanks Baba. How’s everyone in the penthouse?” _____ said.

Watching Baba use her kitchenette like it was his own.

“It’s a total sausage fest without you,” Baba pouted and his voice sounded genuinely sad. “Don’t tell them I told you this but they all miss you. Even Boss refuses to let another maid into the penthouse to clean because he only trusts you.”

At this ______ laughed out loud.

“There is no way that’s Eisuke’s intention. He’s just letting it get dirty so I have double the work to do.”

“Well, that will be his excuse. But we all know his heart isn’t made completely of stone. And he has a soft spot for our Princess.”

Baba winked as he placed the vase on the coffee table.

______ ignored him and focused on the flowers instead.

“Thank you, Baba. They’re beautiful. How did you know Pink Hydrangeas were my favourite?” _____ said admiring the flowers from where she stood.

“You’ll be surprised how easy you are to read, Princess,” Baba continued about his routine and went back to put the soup in the microwave. “Like how you really aren’t sick, you’re just avoiding something or better yet, someone.”

Baba peered over his shoulder at _______ and watched her eyes look anywhere but his own.

“I hope it isn’t Me.” he continued.

“Of course not Baba. Out of all the Auction Sponsors, you’re the only one I like being around for longer than five minutes.”

Baba seemed to relax a little after hearing this. Even though he had no idea what he could have done to make ______ avoid him in the first place.

“Well, if it’s not me, then who?” Baba pried.

“Do I really have to talk to you about this? It’s so damn embarrassing.”

“No you don’t but we’re friends and I want you to rely on me.”

Baba turned himself fully towards, ______ after he set the timer for the soup to reheat.

“We are friends, in some weird, twisted Stockholm syndrome way,” ______ chuckled fully aware that she is only ‘friends’ with any of them because of the whole Auction catastrophe. “It’s ridiculously childish and embarrassing. So if I tell you, please do not tell the others?”

“You can hand me to Ayase personally and I won’t put up a fight if I break that promise.”

Baba took his hat off his head and placed it over his heart and bowed slightly as if to reiterate his sincerity.

She knew she could trust Baba, despite how flaky he could be – he wasn’t one to go shouting other people’s business from the rooftops.

Sighing, ______ motioned for Baba to take a seat as she got two bowls out from a cabinet and two spoons from the draw. Then getting the soup ready once it had reheated, she too joined Baba at her small dining table.

Baba was patient and attentive – smiling faintly as if to encourage her to speak when she was ready. Damn that Thief, he was always so charming and sweet.

“Okay,” ______ started, blowing on her spoon before slurping at it. “Damn Baba this is some good soup. You’ll have to teach me your secrets to cooking one day.”

Baba looked at her as if to say ‘Stop changing the subject and get on with it.’ Although he did it a little kinder way than that.

“You know Erika, right?”

Baba nodded.

“Well, I may have text her when I was drunk the other night.”

Baba ate some of his soup and then placed his spoon back in the bowl and sat back in his chair slightly.

“What did you say to her that makes you want to avoid her?”

“I kind of, have, y’know feelings for her. And it was a drunk confession text.”

_____ spat out the words as if it was phlegm. The taste of the soup suddenly becoming very bitter.

“Well that explains why you always say no when I ask to take you on a date.” Baba chuckled.

“If you’re implying that the reason I turn you down is because I’m gay, you couldn’t be more wrong.”

_____’s brow furrowed, slightly irritated by Baba’s closed mindedness about how having feelings for a girl immediately meant she was instantly a lesbian.

“That’s not what I meant, Princess. If I had feelings for someone, I wouldn’t want to go on a date with another woman. Even if it was to get over her.”

_____ sighed again, trying to let her defences down.

“I’m sorry. I just don’t know how to handle this, I know she doesn’t like me. It’s plain as day to see. And for whatever reason while I was drunk, I thought it was a good idea to tell her.”

Baba nodded, letting her continue.

“It’d be fine if we didn’t work together. I would probably never see her again. But facing her and the pure and utter freaked out and disgust on her face. I just don’t want to see that.”

Giving it a moment, possibly thinking of the best way to approach this situation, Baba leant forward and took ______’s hand that was resting on the table into his own.

“How do you know that’s how she is going to react though?” Baba started. “People wear masks all the time, she could be wearing the exact same one you were wearing before you text her.”

______ just shook her head.

“Erika is very clear about what she thinks of me – over-privileged, not deserving of my penthouse position – which is kind of true, unattractive and stupid.”

This talk with Baba was doing anything but make her feel better.

“If you were undeserving of your Penthouse position, Boss would not have given it to you,” Baba pondered but decided against saying what he wanted to. “Well if you’re sure that’s how she sees you, why are you holding onto this? You know this is all just speculation. You never know maybe the number is incorrect or she blocked you.”

“So you’re hiding for no reason. You have to face the rejection one way or another and then move on. Of course, it’s easier said than done but I’ll be here every step of the way to help you get over this. And the date offer still stands.” Baba winked.

______ chuckled. Of course Baba was right. This was childish and stupid and there was no point in running away. He was a man of wisdom. You wouldn’t think so by how flighty he is.

“You’re right. Not about the date though. You have too many girlfriends, I would get jealous.”

Baba feigned a dramatic offended look. Clutching at his heart as if ______ had plunged a sword through it.

After that, Baba went back to being his usual flirty and charming self. Chasing ______ around her dorm like a horny teenager. It was all in good fun though, he was trying his hardest to cheer her up and it was working. She was giggling and smiling like he hadn’t seen her do in weeks.

He would have stayed until she fell asleep if it wasn’t for Eisuke ringing him and demanding his presence – of course after sufficiently checking that ______ was well.

Baba purposely put him on loud speaker just to prove to _______ that he did in fact care about her. It was hard for the giggles to be contained but there was no way she wanted to embarrass Eisuke, she didn’t want to imagine what happened to the last person who tried.

After all, her and Baba had just come to the conclusion she was going to be brave and she couldn’t be brave with Eisuke and his power looming over her like a dark cloud.

After an abrupt and unnecessary but totally Eisuke hang up, ______ escorted Baba to the door.

“Thank you for today Baba, it means a lot that you came to see me.”

______ smiled, a warm and grateful smile.

“Anything for you, Pretty Lady,” Baba opened the door. “Just remember what we talked about, just call my name and I’ll appear.”

Baba was about to turn to leave but ______ threw herself at him, encircling him in a hug – after everything he’d done for her today, it seemed like a good way to express how truly grateful she was for the fruitful Thief.

“Woah.” Baba said.

Trying to keep his balance before securing her in his own embrace. They stood like that for a few seconds, relishing in the warmth of their friendship.

“If you don’t let go, Princess, I may not be able to be a gentleman anymore.”

At hearing this, ______ instantly let go and chuckled when she saw Baba’s cheeky grin as he waved his final farewells.

She watched a few seconds before closing the door and heading into her now empty dorm.

*KNOCK* *KNOCK*

What had Baba forgotten, this time?

“Baba, if you’ve come back for another hug, I’m going to-“

______ started as she opened the door prepared to see the smile that left her only moments ago. Until she was greeted with a pair of beautiful frowning brown eyes.

Her throat instantly became dry, her heart stopped for a second only to start beating so fast and hard it could break through her ribcage. Her brain was screaming to shut the door but her hands wouldn’t move.

Erika stomped into ______’s room without being invited – much like Baba but with a darker aura. Throwing the door shut out of ______’s grasp as she strode past.

Oh fuck cock sucking shit. When she decided to face her problems, she wasn’t expecting it to be right this second.

“Are you gonna face me or are you just going to be a little chicken?”

______ cringed, she could taste the venom in Erika’s voice and it was deadly. As if she was a rabbit staring into the eyes of a cobra, ______ somehow through some mystic force turned herself around.

“So, is that how you play? You send a drunk confession text to me, call in sick at work – when you’re clearly not sick at all and then two days later you’re throwing yourself into a man’s arms. And a VIP from the penthouse no less. I bet you slept with Mr Ichinomiya and Mr Kisaki too to get the penthouse position.”

Snap.

Everyone has a breaking point. You would have thought ______ would have reached hers with Erika a long time ago considering how much of a fucking bitch she was 24/7.

But for whatever reason – patience and a fear of confrontation mainly, ______ had bitten her tongue. However, now with her mind up to move on, there was no reason to hold back anymore.

“Erika, you have two options,” ______ snarled, matching Erika in ferocity. “You shut the fuck up and let me speak and you don’t speak until I’m finished or you get out, right now.”

______ looked up, the rabbit staring the cobra back into its basket.

Whether it was her tone and words or wanting to know what ______ wanted to say. Erika stood in silence but not without giving and exaggerated eye roll as she crossed her arms.

“First – I have not slept with a single person who is a resident in the penthouse but I wish I had considering that’s clearly how little you think of me and my work capabilities.”

Fire had practically engulfed _______. She was seething with anger, why had she wasted so much energy and sadness on a girl who was so horrible?

“Secondly – Baba was here to see me because he is my friend. Thirdly – You might be right about me not being physically sick but mentally I’m as sick as they come for falling in love with an absolute bitch like you.”

It felt good to say these things and also fucking harrowing. She wanted to take them back but she knew Erika deserved them, needed to hear them. Then maybe the next person who tries to get close to her stands a better chance than ______ ever did.

There was a silence, just the sound of ______’s heavy anger breathing echoing around the room.

“I’m done.”

_____ growled looking away and trying to keep her angry tears at bay.

“You’re done? Finally, because I have some things to say to you, too!”

Erika matched ____’s anger and spirit, glaring in her usual way.

“First, you might not be a complete failure at your job, but we all know that it was not your turn to get the penthouse, so there’s something going on and you can’t blame me for going with the most obvious explanation. I bet they all want to fuck you after all. Hell, I would!”

She uncrossed her arms and jabbed her index finger against ____’s collarbone.

“Second, that guy is a manwhore, I see him with a different girl practically every day! Excuse me if I’m worried about you. I won’t do that again!”

Her words dripped with sarcasm, but their meaning was what made ____’s eyes go wide.

“And third, I’m not a bitch and you falling for me is just natural. I’m a goddamn catch and you better own your every word now or I swear I’m going to make your life hell if you’re just toying with me!”

“What?”

______ blinked almost in slow motion – her anger suddenly turning into frantic butterflies in her stomach.

“What?” Erika asked back. “Are you really that dumb?”

______ bit her lip as she watched Erika recross her arms. How do you respond to something like that? After deciding to ‘give up’ on this pathetically one sided infatuation. That could possibly be not so one sided?

No, she couldn’t let Erika tease and taunt her feelings so easily. There was one way to see if this was genuine. And the rejection would kill her but this conversation was a battle of the hard heads and was clearing getting them nowhere.

Raising her arms, _______, reached out and cupped Erika’s face.

Erika’s dropped from their crossed state but didn’t stop ______ as she moved her face towards her own.

Eyes were locked until only a centimetre was left between their lips and naturally fell shut.

This was not how ______ imagined kissing Erika to be. It was good, she tasted so much sweeter than her salty personality. But with how controlling Erika was about everything, she was surprisingly submissive and let ______ dominate the kiss.

Their mouths moved in sync, like they’d been practicing for this precise moment and disconnected in the same motion.

Well that was something that would probably give ______ wet dreams for a while. Kissing Erika was like rainbows and puppies or it was until her eyes opened and Erika was glaring at her.

And there goes that one second of bliss.

“You call that a kiss?” Erika growled and shoved her hands away from her face only to step closer and wrap her own arms around ______’s neck and whispered, “This is a kiss.”

Not having a moment to think before Erika’s lips were upon her own, ______’s eyes watched the woman she’d dreamed of kissing for months put all her effort into giving her a kiss she’d remember for the rest of her life.

When Erika’s tongue poked out her mouth and licked at her bottom lip, _____ whimpered and her eyes fell shut.

In true voltage MC style, _______’s mind went blank and hazy. This was how she imagined her first kiss with Erika to be. Slightly forceful but not unreciprocated, soft and deep, warm and sweet.

_____ let her arms fall to rest of Erika’s hips and in response Erika pushed herself into her. Their bodies bucking and grinding slightly into each other in sync with the pace their tongues were creating.

It wasn’t long till they found themselves breathing heavily, their skin starting to slick with sweat and the growing heat in abdomens becoming unbearable.

It was Erika who made the next move. Dragging _____ backwards towards the bed but refusing to break the kiss.

There was part of ______ that was still insanely terrified, like at any second Erika was going to shout ‘SYKE’ and run away laughing and make it an embarrassing memory for her.

But the most parts of her were just desperate to kiss more, touch more, and taste more.

And she would.

The robe ______ was wearing over her nighty was brushed off her shoulders with minimal effort. The straps of her nighty flicked off her shoulders and the entire garment pooled around her ankles.

Their kiss was broken but Erika didn’t stop to admire her, instead choosing to remove her work uniform with well-practiced hands. _______ watched with a new admiration for her crush, Erika clearly removed her work uniform everyday with no troubles but there was a slight fumble of her hands like she was nervous or excited.

Or both.

After the added seconds of her unsteady hands, Erika was naked too. In all her natural glory, perfect, pale, smooth and soft – which was pretty hard to believe considering her cactus like exterior.

“Are you seriously just going to stand there and gawk?”

Perhaps it wasn’t possible for Erika to speak in a tone that wasn’t condescending or rude. Her cheeks gave away her embarrassment at being stared at with complete awe whilst being completely naked though, along with clutch of her arm against her chest.

“I would if you’d let me.” _____ said.

She did the opposite though, stepping towards Erika once more and gently pushing her down on the bed. She knew that she wouldn’t own the control for long, not that she minded. She was hopeful that this wasn’t going to be a onetime thing and maybe as their relationship progressed Erika would relinquish that control gradually.

Until they were on equal grounds.

Although ______ was the one to initiate the next move, like expected Erika was quick to get back into control as she pulled ______ down too and onto her back. And the she leaned over her and kissed her.

Each kiss seemed to get better than the last. More emotion seemed to seep out of each woman and into the other.

The longing, the frustration, the angst, the sadness.

It all seemed to wash away with each brush of their lips. But they still felt exactly how hard this whole time had been for the both of them. And that made them all the more ravenous.

Erika was quick to go further than kissing. She’d pressed her lips to each bit of _____’s exposed skin as she could, reaching her chest – was when she introduced her tongue. Leaving a wet trail down to her breast and nipples.

She expertly sucked her right nub into her mouth and circled it with her tongue. ______ gripped onto the bedsheets, her moans coming out in shallow breaths.

She switched to the other nipple and applied the same technique not allowing it to be neglected. After sufficiently making them hard and pert – Erika moved down ______’s stomach.

Her heart had already been beating wildly but right now it was like a hamster on a running wheel on steroids. Her breathing got heavier as she watched Erika descend between her thighs, only adding a little pressure to push them further apart.

She was nervous, but her excitement was more evident.

She could feel Erika’s breath on the wetness she’d created. And it sent ______’s body to litter with goosebumps.

Erika looked at _______ from where she lay – as if to check this is really what she wanted. But Erika didn’t need a verbal answer to know, one fiery look from _______ was all it took and she dove in.

The first swipe of Erika’s tongue against her clit was other worldly, the second was heavenly, the third was pure sin. It was the perfect mix of roughness and softness.

_______ didn’t think the pleasure could get any better, but then she felt a finger circle her wet glove.

She gasped, and buried her head back into the pillow.

Erika was patient and waited until she had relaxed again until she started to press it into her pussy. She was slow, almost torturously so. But Erika was tentative in her actions, watching _____ every second as so not to cause her any discomfort.

Once her finger was all the way in, she gave ______ a moment to get used to the feel. While she knew ______ probably wasn’t a virgin, she didn’t want to hurt her physically and add to the emotional pain she’d already caused her.

When her breathing had steadied a little, Erika began to move her finger, curling it in a come hither motion several times to stimulate her walls before she began to thrust in and out of her. Her tongue went back to engorging her clit.

The motions were fluid and well practiced as if she’d done this before but ______ chose not to let her jealously ruin this moment and focused on the pleasure rather than how she got this good.

Erika sucked at her clit as she added a second finger, filling her up way better than she thought possible.

“Oh god.”

_______’s hand slipped into her hair and pushed Erika’s face as far as humanly possible into her heat. She could feel the pressure building in the pit of her stomach and her hips automatically began to grind against her fingers and tongue.

This was the fastest she’d ever come round to her orgasm. Erika seemed to know exactly what _____ liked, how much pressure and how fast to devour her.

Or maybe it was the array of emotions that made her super sensitive. Not that it mattered.

Erika used her free hand to lace her fingers through ______’s hand that was still gripping tightly onto the bedsheet. This was more romantic than ______ thought Erika could be and she sobbed out another moan.

In the midst of ecstasy, _______ blanked. Her eyes were tightly squeezed shut, her mind flashed with Erika’s face. It was almost like she was an angel at the end of the tunnel but the shiver in her limbs and the feel of Erika still inside her and licking at her clit was enough to remind her this was all real, she wasn’t dead and it wasn’t a dream.

She gasped out Erika’s name and moaned it several times after when her orgasm began to let go of the hold it hand on her body. Her extremities relaxed and she lay like a rag doll, albeit a content one.

She wanted to reciprocate, to show Erika the same way how she made her feel but she needed a moment to gain some strength back.

“That – That was so much better than I imagined.”

She managed to say as Erika detached herself from ______. She crawled her way back up to her and laid on her chest.

“You’ve been imagining it? What a pervert.”

Her tone was flat but there was a playful edge to her words and that made _____ smile.

“I don’t need to imagine it anymore.”

_____ wrapped her aching arms around Erika. One stroked her hair and the other traced up and down her spine as her own heart began to beat normally again.

There was a sensual undertone to her touch and it didn’t go unnoticed by Erika. And she sighed

“I need to go back to work,” Erika said but she made no attempt to leave _____’s embrace yet. “Thanks to a certain someone, I’m left doing the late shift tonight.”

______ felt guilty, the way she reacted to this whole teenage situation was extremely, well – childish.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t handle this very well.”

Her apology was sincere.

“Yeah, you can make up to me by bringing you’re A-game tomorrow. And don’t think I’m gonna go easy on you.”

Erika said as she looked up to ______. Who chuckled as she bopped Erika on the nose with her finger.

“I’d be upset if you didn’t, it’s one of the things I really like about you after all.”

Erika buried her face in ______’s bosom at the unashamed way she now expressed her feelings. And _____ couldn’t help but find it so insanely adorable.

“Right, I’m going to work now.” Erika said.

She untangled herself from ______ but there was a reluctance there that made her movements less graceful that usual.

“You better be awake by the time I’m finished.”

_______ cocked her head, unsure as to why she’d need to be awake so late in the evening.

“If you think I’m finished with you, you really are as dumb as you look.”

If Erika had said that to her before this who story, ______ would have taken it to heart but the slight smirk and flames that danced in Erika’s pupils as she stared at her meant something else and ______ blushed, not expecting Erika not to be quite so forward.

This was going to be a roller-coaster of a relationship – especially since they hadn’t discussed what this encounter made them. But right now, neither wanted to label this special relationship they had. That would come in time, when they grew to trust each other entirely.

#voltage fanfic #voltage smut #kbtbb fanfic #kbtbb smut #erika matsuda #kbtbb erika #kissed by the baddest bidder #voltage writing #voltage drabble #voltage mini series

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zreyta · 8 years ago

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Ah !

I got tagged ! In a thing ! By @dellakit - thank you !

So the purpose of the game is to answer all the questions in a new post and to tag some people too. I’ll tag some of my cool mutuals ! @choppathelama, @panvanpolyperi, @hector-the-glorious, @ghostmyrage, @transshark... And whoever else feels like answering these ! But only do it if you feel like it and if you don’t like getting tagged in these things I’m sorry ! Also I’m glad I follow you guys, you post cool things.

a - age: I just turned 21. b - biggest fear: Uh. Something bad happening to my little sister ? c - current time: It’s 13:08 at the time.

d - drink you last had: Some coffee ! e - every day starts with: Putting my glasses on. f - favorite song: It depends on my mood but Muse is my favourite band so probably one of their songs. I love The Globalist. g - ghosts, are they real: Well, here’s my wisdom on the subject : either they are, or they aren’t. /no really I don’t know, I’d say no, but at the same time it’d be really cool if they were ! It doesn’t sound ‘logical’ but yeh why not./ h - hometown: An ugly town called Châtelet in an ugly part of Belgium. I live in Brussels though. i - in love with: The smell of fresh paint drying. j - jealous of: Idk. The alternate version of me who has her shit together. k - killed someone: No ! :O l - last time you cried: I don’t remember. I’ve felt kind of bad lately, especially during some familial meeting this week end, but I didn’t cry. I don’t really remember this kind of things. m - middle name: I have two : Valérie and Lorena. n - number of siblings: One. o - one wish: I would love to be able to teleport (if that even counts as a wish) p - person you last called/texted: Called : My grandmother. Texted : My step father. q - question(s) you’re always asked: “Are you okay ?” I guess. I think I often look like I have a problem even when I’m fine. So some people get worried. r - reasons to smile: Humans have created countless amazing fictional universes and characters that anyone can learn or read about and there are still many things that I have to discover and that I’ll love. s - song last sang: Mother by Florence + The Machine. (of course I can’t actually sing it. I can’t sing and this one is really hard anyway. I was just pretending to sing alone in the kitchen.) t - time you woke up: 7 am. u - underwear color: Dark blue. v - vacation destination: I would like to go back in Scotland. Of maybe visit Ireland. w - worst habit: Scratching my head too much. I get wounds x - x-rays you’ve had: I don’t think I ever had any. Maybe when I was younger. y - your favorite food: I have a lot. Let’s say Babas au Rhum because I’m in a sugary mood. z - zodiac sign: Aries.

#tag game #things about me #woah

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rainbowunicornpoppies · 8 years ago

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New fic from the Rogue One: Encore series!

The Tale of Bodhi Rook

Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away there was a heroic pilot called Jaron Hess, and he battled the greatest foes in the galaxy alongside a young kid named Bodhi Rook...

On AO3 here or below the cut :)

"Thanks, mister!" said the kid, moving his goggles up his face as the man helped him up onto his feet. Barely pausing, Bodhi wove between the crowd, laughing as she clutched the toy X-Wing in his left hand, zooming noises coming out of his mouth.

The sun was high that day, and the heat was so sweltering that he had taken his vest off when he had played with the other kids and had tucked it in the band of his pants. Sweat stuck to his face, but that didn't matter, because the issue of the day was the adventure the heroic pilot Jaron Hess was undertaking in order to destroy the evil tyrant Banto Snargleoff. Bodhi had helped Jaron fly through asteroid clouds, a swarm of vicious clone pods, and even saved him from certain death against a horde of rathars. All in all, it was turning out to be a terribly productive day.

He ran out of the main hub of the town and along the riverside that would eventually lead him home. It was becoming terribly frightful for Jaron now: Bodhi wasn't sure if he could get Jaron through the rays of the pink sun that glowed up ahead, but dammit he would.

"And he dives!" he cried, "He weaves in and out of the rays of light, but he can't see because if he opens them the rays will burn out his eyes! He's flying blind! Will he make it? He swoops, he glides, he does a turn in the air and - noooooooo! - he opens his eyes to find the forward propulsors damaged! But he pushes on!"

He jumped over a log and grinned, his arms swooping the pilot high into the sky.

"And he escapes at last to fight another day!"

Bodhi looked up. There was a trail of smoke in the sky, smoke coming from the direction of his home. His brows furrowed. He turned towards the plane in his hand.

"What do you think Jaron! Up for another adventure against Snargeloff?"

He closed his hand more securely around the X-Wing and continued to run forward. The fighter was his favourite, an old toy he had found in a junkyard out in the middle of nowhere when he had been walking with his dad several years ago. His three-year-old eyes had caught sight of the end of the wing protruding in the silt and when he had pulled it out - voila! - the stuff dreams were made of.

"And he runs at full tilt towards the castle, swooping and gliding past planets and through nebulas until -"

He halted.

"Oh."

From his vantage point atop a sand dune he saw rows upon rows of burning houses. This was where he had grown up, where he and his friends had weaved in and out of the domed one storey houses playing hide and seek. Bodhi's first thought questioned why anyone would want to damage another person's home, and how cruel they must be to do so. The second was of his parents.

"Mama!" he cried. "Baba!"

Jaron Hess and Banto Snargeloff were abandoned now as the fighter was clutched in a pumping fist. The young kid slid haphazardly down the dune until his feet met the pathway and he ran in the direction of his home.

Soldiers in white were everywhere. They had been called stormtroopers. That was the first name he had heard for them when they descended from the sky. They made his parents tremble and his friends scared, and he did not like that. Jaron Hess didn't like that.

Then up in the sky a ship zoomed overhead, not like those X-Wing or U-Wings he had seen before but ones with a round middle and what looked like umbrella wings on each side. Bodhi loved ships, always had done, but in his gut he wasn't sure if he liked these ones.

Eyes back on the ground, he began to run until a white gloved hand came out of nowhere and stopped him in his tracks.

"Hold it right there, kid," said the voice.

In the hangar of the Rebel Alliance a now grown-up Bodhi Rook swallowed and took a deep breath.

"I was taken where I stood, brought to the Empire's training academy and put to work."

He looked at the crowd around him. It had started as being just Jyn, Cassian, Chirrut and Baze, but now the crowd was over a dozen, and unless Bodhi was imagining things he could even see Han Solo listening in as he did repairs to his ship.

"I never got to find out if my parents made it out alive."

Bodhi didn't look up to see their sympathy. He didn't want their sympathy. That was too much, simply unnecessary. But it helped for him to talk about it, for him to be able to get it off his chest for the first time in his life.

He shrugged, looking around slightly bewildered at his audience. "So... that's my story," he said lightly. "Not very exciting as you can tell. Nothing much to see here. Just one of a number of tragic stories -"

He felt Jyn's hand touch his own.

"I'll try and find out if your parents are alive," said Jyn, sincerity in her eyes. "I promise."

She got up from her spot next to Cassian and wandered through the small crowd until she was out of the hangar. Slowly, as they realised there was no more story to be told, the crowd dispersed. Only Cassian, Baze, Chirrut and K-2SO remained.

After a moment Chirrut took a deep breath.

"I am glad you are with us, Bodhi," he said simply. "I am sure your parents would be proud of you."

Then he placed a hand on the pilot's own, and with a nod, he withdrew. Bodhi watched Baze nod in kind, the goodness in his eyes saying more than words ever could, and then leave along with Chirrut.

That left just him and Cassian, and Kaytoo.

"Thank you for that story," Cassian said quietly.

"I - what - no, not at all," said Bodhi, feeling awkward for being thanked after telling such a tale. "Thank you for listening."

"It just made me feel less lonely thinking about about my own childhood," the captain said. Cassian had been scarred by the Empire at such a young age too, Bodhi knew. "I'm grateful for that."

"That's okay," said Bodhi, cracking a smile at his friend. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jyn Erso appear back in the hangar, every step full of purpose until she reached Han Solo and tapped him on the shoulder.

"She's on a mission for you now," said Cassian quietly.

Bodhi nodded, and then a grin crept up on his face.

"Speaking of missions," he said. "You teach Jyn how to fly that X-Wing yet?"

He received a whack on his arm in reply but Bodhi didn't mind: for as long as he was with his friends, with his new family, the next day, and the next day, and the next would always be a good one.

#bodhi rook #rogue one #star wars

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queenbeelion · 7 years ago

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So why do I try?

Can't remember when and how it started, our story is not that good and colourful. It was indeed epic and tragic. I've known you for so long but I never intended to like you on the very first place. I never thought of talking to you or making friends with you, we have two different worlds. We our connected thru common friends but still it is not a ground for us to meet personally. One summer, I saw you play basketball with your friends you weren't good enough to stand out but I notice you. I think I had a secret crush on you ever since but I just can't admit it, it's hard too I dont wanna be in an awkward situation since I am friends with your sister and your cousin but You were even one of the reasons why I watched the games everynight of that summer league. On the night of that league's championship I saw you with your girlfriend, I was shocked and even wished that "how I wish it was me" you guys are dancing and making a really good couple. Few days after I heard that you and your girlfriend broke up, I dont know why but one of my gay friend told me that I was the reason. He told me that your girlfriend thought we were exchanging messages on the time that u were still dating.. But how is that even possible I don't even know if u do recognise me or know me at all and perhaps I've never talked to you how can I get your number? Hahaha It was clearly a misunderstanding, that misunderstanding became the reason why I became friends with your ex girlfriend. Hahahaha A year later we had to meet again and this time it's a different one. I can't remember how but we had the chance to talked to each other but it wasn't the way I wanted it to be it was just casual talking. We had good times, we became friends and we made good memories as well. The simple group of five people drinking alcohol became a larger number. I still had a crush on you, my cousin and her friend tried to set me up with you. But you ended up liking her instead. It was hard for me drinking and hanging out with you and somehow falling for you knowing that you had your eyes on my favorite cousin. I had to cease my feelings and even tried to hook up with your friend who's been really nice to me. One night, we were on the same place drinking the same thing with the same people and more friends came. Since, we were out of our minds we played spin the bottle played truth or dare. That night was tragic, it became an issue and hurt each and everyone's feeling. I was so messed up that night. Your cousin which is my bestie hated me for what happened that night. My way of making like me made a huge gap between me and my bestfriend. I can't blame her, we were really out of our minds we made wrong things. That became my lowest point that I had to deal with it alone. She hated me so much for hanging out with you and your friends. She even say bad stories about me and even cursed me. I don't know what to do so I separate myself to you and our friends. I even tried to forget all the good memories. My decision made me realise that I need her as a friend more than I need you. Eventually I got her back but I never had the chance to hang out with you anymore. It was like I need to keep a distance with you. Almost 2 years later, I was building a life on my own. Our friends are doing good as well, I am really proud of what we've become and then I received a facebook message from you. It's been a long time since the last time we talked, I wasn't expecting that we're gonna talk ever again. It wasn't my intention to be with you again. Honestly speaking, when you message me I wasn't interested of meeting you up when I got back home. You were asking me If it will be okay if Im gonna remind or message you before I came home. I was home already for a day when I decided to visit your cousin, you came over and I was expecting you to even say hi to me. Bit you didn't. The next day I was driving to Sta. Rosa Laguna when I received another Facebook message from you, it wasn't me who read the message it was your cousin. At first I dont wanna respond to your message specially after what happened before but it was her who pushed me to reply back. She's been asking what are we talking about and etc. I wasn't expecting anything, I thought that you are just messaging me for fun or you're just checking out if I'm still into you. It's been years and I've been watching you change girlfriends and even heard you became a fuckboy. Hahaha Talking to you became a hobby, I feel good talking to you again. Talking about good things and good memories. Everything happened so fast and I feel comfortable around you, your words and gestures they looked like they were real. I even thought of opening myself to dating again. What if it was really us? That is the question keep popping out of my mind, but I wasn't sure of you. I doesn't wanna get hurt and be on a difficult situation. There's one thing that you've said that makes me feel okay "hindi na ito joke time, ikaw lang at ikaw na ang huli" It impossible for you to changed but you said you will but in my thoughts you dont have too. I will accept you no matter what, Kagaya nga ng sabi ko hindi kita pipigilan sa gusto mong gawin kung gusto mo magsabong okay lang kung gusto mo mag inom gabi gabi at magyosi okay lang kung gusto mo ng ibang babae okay lang. isa lang naman ang gusto ko e na kahit anong mangyari sasabihin mo sa akin hindi yung magmumukha akong tanga na basta mo nalang iiwanan sa ere. This wasn't my dream relationship pero ikaw yung nagpapasaya sakin madami na tayong ups and down and I'll be happy if this will work. Kung hindi man atleast we've tried diba.

#hugot #love #ldr love

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jackoshman · 8 years ago

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#BellLetsTalk

let me introduce myself for those not close to me: i’m josh, a university freshman from a middle-class family. a middle-class home in a middle-class neighborhood. i’m a white jewish cis male so, you know, the world is pretty much set for me to succeed - i’d like to start this by explicitly making note of that. i live on treaty 1 land, the land of the dene, anishinaabe, oji-cree, metis, ojibwe, cree and dakota nations (although the dakota never signed treaty 1). no matter my problems, there are many that inherently have had it much tougher simply because of their skin colour, religion or sexual orientation.

all that aside, i write this with hopes that i can reach 1 person who is going through something similar to my life. i’ve been reading a lot of articles and stories from people that are experiencing the same adversities, and i’ve found a lot of comfort in seeing that i’m not alone.

i wont beat around the bush. lets get right to it.

my mother has struggled with a crack/cocaine addiction for approximately 12 years. it has been generally swept under the rug, as most families with addict-parents and small children do. until last year. after spending a lot of time at my girlfriends house and seeing how other people live, i convinced my mom to join narcotics anonymous. this was one of the hardest conversations i’ve ever had to have.

although she struggled to stay sober for months after her first NA meeting, the dialogue opened and i have been able to start my healing process. i’ve realized my deeply-rooted anxiety problems and just being able to be open about this has been such a free-ing experience.

i know there are many questions. how did our household function? what was it like?

right off the bat i’d like to mention my mother never used in front of me until this last year, which was another huge step towards pushing me to get her help. for over a decade she was able to keep me pretty sheltered. in 10+ years i only spotted strange men leaving my garage maybe 4 or 5 times. i only saw the lingering, distinctly thick smoke a handful of times. i rarely came face to face with a pipe and never the actual substance itself. my mother really did make a conscious effort to make sure my sister and i were never completely traumatized. for me personally, the events i look back on as traumatizing (seeing the smoke, dealers, my mother high) only have emerged as traumatizing this year, when i actually realized they were traumatizing. many childhood memories are tainted with the idea that my mom was likely either high, about to use, or in the process of using, just across the hall from my bedroom.

to give some more context, i’ll go a little further back.

my mother’s sister committed suicide on halloween in 2006. i was 7 and my sister was 9. this sent my mother spiraling into a deep depression and so her use increased. by the time i was 9 and my sister was 11, we were used to my mom being locked in her room for hours each night. because we grew up with friends who lived across the street and loved playing outside for as long as we could, we definitely used this to our advantage and got to stretch our curfews more than a few times. -

- this is an incredibly common thing among children of addict-parents. because an addict’s behavior is so dramatically different depending on what amount of substance is in their blood, the rules of the house get bent or changed basically at complete random. this plants a seed of mistrust in the child; a lack of trust between the child and their parent, and generally all figures of authority.

in november of 2008, i was in the 5th grade. i remember waking up one day and instantly knowing i was late for class - this was a frequent occurence in our house, another product of our complete lack of real structure. sometimes when i noticed i was late, i would just lie in bed and wait for my mom to wake up and yell at me and then go to school for the afternoon or whatever. this was one of those times.

the hours went by. it was almost lunch time and my mom hadn’t come to yell at me, so something felt strange. i left my bed to go see if she was still sleeping. her bed was empty. i looked out the kitchen window to see if she had left but the car was in the garage. i checked the living room, nothing. and then i checked the basement. the light was on, which my mom always got on us about turning off. when i go down the stairs i see my mom asleep on the couch. a little unusual perhaps, but nothing that extreme. i walked over and began to lightly shake her to wake her up. nothing. no response at all. i shook her harder. still nothing. it was at this point that i went upstairs, got dressed, woke my sister up and filled her in with what was happening. we both went back down and shook her at the same time. my moms eyes briefly opened and she made out a few unintelligible sounds. after maybe 10 more minutes of this my mom finally gained enough consciousness to assure us she was fine and sit herself up. within 10 seconds she was completely slouched into her own lap. we shook her again. she fell to the floor and went completely limp. i ran to the phone and dialed my baba. my grandfather picked up and i did my best to explain what was happening. although clearly confused and unclear about what was happening, he came over within about 10 minutes. it was when we lead him down the stairs to her that i actually noticed something weird. there were pills scattered everywhere (my mom was on a plethora of anti-depressants, pain-killers, etc.). my grandfather dialed 911 and luckily she made it and spent the next 2 weeks in the ER and psych ward at the hospital.

it wasn’t the hospital visits that were the most difficult. after the ambulance came to get my mom, i was dropped off at school and all my friends rushed to me to ask why i was late. i had no idea what to tell them. i had no idea what the fuck just happened. the first responders explained to me that my mom must have accidentally taken too many sleeping pills. even though i always considered myself the smartest person in my class, i completely believed thats what happened. but i was too ashamed to even tell my friends that; i just walked away holding back tears until i could get to the washroom and let it out. the rest of the day i avoided the question and all the kids, as kids do, got something else to be excited about. -

- a few follow ups to this story: i didnt understand my mother attempted suicide until years later. looking back i have absolutely 0 idea how it took me so long to realize this, but what i’m finding is that it’s extremely common among children of addict-parents to have distorted ideas of reality. because children are often given a sugar-coated version of stories, children of addict-parents are at an exponentially higher risk to confuse what they see with what their told and so they have trouble wondering what’s real and what isn’t. their external and internal realities often exist separately. are they crazy? is it their judgement that’s flawed? obviously it’s easy to see that the child is rarely delusional, but for the child that may be difficult to see, especially if they have nobody to talk to about this problem, which nicely ties in the 2nd follow up to this story: living with an enormous family secret is one of the toughest things a child can experience. mainly, the shame is unimaginably overwhelming. a child of an addict may avoid friendships with other children and may feel they cannot invite their friends to their house, because their parent might be at home high, coming down from the substance, in the process of getting high or drunk, and the parent will embarrass them. another result of a major family secret is fear and/or paranoia. a child of an addict lives in constant fear of having their truth revealed to someone outside the house. the child is constantly worried they might be taken away from home and put into the foster system, and that their parent could go to jail for their addiction.

after reading x many articles theres definitely a lot of the same things i’m noticing between the stories and experiences of children of addicts. heres a small guide that can help u understand ur trauma if u are a child of an addict, or a guide that will help u offer better support for those u know who had a strange childhood:

lets talk about “normal”. i briefly eluded to this before but i want to be more clear. children of addicts have no idea what the fuck normal is. let me tell u. generally speaking, normal shouldn’t include instability, fear, or any form of abuse. for children of addicts, this is literally new information. normal for us is taking care of your household, your siblings, your parent(s), and very rarely yourself. this is a major reason that many children of addicts are seen as pushovers or unable to stand up for themselves. we’ve learned forever to put other people before ourselves, because nobody has put us first. ever. an addict parent, to be very blunt, puts their addiction before their children all the time, whether they mean to or not.

fear. fear is an instinctive feeling that everyone experiences at some point or another. everyone is afraid of something. but it’s very different for children of addicts. we live in fear most of the time. and the fear is hidden — sometimes very deeply. we’re afraid of the future, specifically the unknown. the unknown has been our reality for many years. we may not have known where our parents were, or when they’d return. we might not have known if there would be a pleasant family dinner or awkward silence through the whole house. while we may know now that we no longer have to worry about our households because we’ve moved out or some other reason, life can still be terrifying. coming home and not knowing what to expect (at all), all through your childhood, is a major factor in making us incredibly anxious people. this fear or anxiety may express itself in a number of ways, everything from anger to tears. we probably won’t recognize it as fear or anxiety without professional help or doing our own research. so read as much as u can!

we feel guilty. about everything. we don’t understand self-care. we don’t have clear-cut boundaries. if we stand up for ourselves, we feel guilty. if we take care of ourselves, we feel guilty. our life is built on a foundation of i give to you and receive nothing. we don’t know how to receive. this is a super tough thing to learn for us and can take a really long time to understand. it was very difficult for me to move out for this reason. how could i not be there to help my mom? shes kinda fucking crazy and doesn’t have many friends. what is she gonna do without me? eventually you have to hold your addict parent accountable, solely for your own mental health. you didn’t make them an addict. get yourself some space and distance. you can tell them to join AA or NA (which aren’t that helpful for a large % of people, sadly) or some other rehab program, but at the end of the day the addict has to want to get better. and that is only on them. nothing to do with u. at all. trying to empathize and work with an addict will drive u insane cause their brain doesn’t work properly anymore.

obviously, we had no peace in our childhood. we don’t know peace. chaos, stress, unrest: these are comfortable for us. we feel at home in these circumstances, not because they are healthy, but because they feel normal. we develop different survival tactics that people shouldn’t need until much later in life. we have trouble planning things and managing our time. many of us would rather live without a schedule. nothing in our households have ever been consistent. and so we learn to deal with random fucking shitstorms all the time.

after a month and a half of detox and rehab programs, my mom is now a few months clean and i am living at home. things can always get better. that being said, getting here has been the toughest thing i’ve ever had to do in my life, and by no means is it over. addiction is a struggle my mom will have to deal with daily. i have panic attacks. but reaching out to others for support has been instrumental in getting my life in order.

i know i talked about this already but having to keep a secret like this from your friends and other family members is mentally and emotionally exhausting, and after over a decade this manifested in me into anxiety, depression and paranoia. because i couldn’t explain this problem to anyone without explaining the root of it, nobody knew what i was going thru for over 5 years. opening up to my closest friends, some of over 15 years, has been the toughest but best thing ive ever done (they have been wonderful so i’d like to thank them here for that). i’ve cried more in the last year of my life than the other 17 combined. it has been sooooo worth it and i can’t stress that enough. i was never able to have any sort of real relationship before i sorted my brain out, and this is often the case for those struggling with mental illnesses and/or trauma. there is nothing more important than than your own mental health. put yourself first for just a bit. sharing your experiences opens the doors for yourself and others who are struggling to come forward.

this is also (maybe obviously) why i’m so hellbent on doing away with the war on drugs - and capitalism as a whole but i’ll leave that for another day - because i’ve literally been on the dark side of it. the war on drugs, though ADMITTEDLY a war on poor (black) people, has failed massively as a detterent away from drugs. treating addicts like criminals is the worst and most damaging thing we can possibly do. my mom was scared of getting help for all of those years, and partially, rightfully so. coming forward with two young kids could’ve sent me and my sister away from her, could’ve put her in jail, not to mention the massive public shame she would feel from the jewish community, and our local community. keep in mind were just a middle class family in winnipeg manitoba. the damage the war on drugs has taken onto marginalized communities across the USA (especially) and the world is beyond measure. what we know concretely, is that this system of prohibition doesnt work. it never has over the course of modern history. what does work is decriminalizing, best showcased in Portugal where money once spent on harrassing and imprisoning addicts has been redirected into rehab programs and subsidies for companies willing to hire addicts. this is what progress looks like!!! their overdose and addiction rates generally have plummeted since decrimnalization. the choice here is simple.

anyway thanks for reading my rambled story. thank you to everyone voicing their issues today. dialogue is our best medicine. be kind to each other and think about where people may be coming from before you jump to conclusions about them.

love, josh

#bellletstalk

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