#i wrote this last night but had to go sleep because i was going to go see the barbie movie in the morning i hope you understand
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brooklyncircus Ā· 1 day ago
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"Until you..." part. 8.
Hiromi Higuruma x reader.
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Until you came into his life, Hiromi Higuruma had occasionally considered making a change within himselfā€”mentally, emotionally, and physicallyā€”but he had never taken the idea with the seriousness it truly required.
Until you came along.
And now, here he was, tossing and turning in his bed, the blankets strewn about at his feet and tangled between his legs. Low grumbles and muttered curses escaped him as he rubbed his hands over his face, almost violently, and made a faint, barely perceptible pout.
ā€œI just want to sleep. God, please help me sleepā€¦ā€ he whispered under his breath, attempting once more to close his eyes, only to open them twenty-eight seconds later.
He stared up at the ceiling, once again thinking about how, indeed, your presence had changed so much in him. So much so that he was making a mental list of the things he considered wrong in his life and that he might change.
But part of him thought this whole situation was rather ridiculous and amusing. Who would have thought heā€™d be planning to alter his routine, his habits, his surroundings, even himself... just because heā€™d met you?
But it wasnā€™t a joke, not in the slightest. In fact, he took it as a sign that he should do it. It wasnā€™t that he thought of you as ā€œridiculous and amusing.ā€ No.
No.
Not at all. That would be the last thing heā€™d think. He felt that way about himselfā€”about how he was feeling now and how he wanted to change because of your presence.
Reflecting on it more deeply, something he was reluctant to do out of fearā€”fear, obviously, of discovering the truthā€”he realised it was entirely because of you. Thanks to you. Because of you.
For you.
Hiromi had come to realise he had good qualities, clear values, and ā€œpositiveā€ things. But putting it all on a scaleā€¦ What weighed more? His good or bad traits? His good or bad habits? Was he worth it? Could he be ā€œsomeone importantā€... to someone?
Could heā€¦ be the right man for someone?
For you?
He swallowed and turned over in bed, his charcoal-coloured hair becoming even more dishevelled. He found himself curling up into a small ball, feeling more vulnerable than ever. And, at that moment, two tears escaped his eyes.
ā€œWhat should I do, God? What do you want me to do?ā€ he thought, his hands covering his eyes, ashamed at the idea of crying again.
And the answer appeared in his mind, clear as the first glimmer of dawn, like a light at the end of a dark tunnel, like a choir of angels in the midst of an infernal stormā€¦
Donā€™t be afraid. Make the changes you deem necessary. Do it for yourself.
And it was at that moment he opened his eyes, staring at the ceilingā€”frightened, yet euphoric at the same time. His heart felt as if it were about to leap from his chest. He sat up in bed and then let his legs dangle over the side.
He stood, and with slow but steady steps, turned on the light in the small living room. Rummaging through the papers, he found a small notepad and a pen. ā€œDamn, this is real,ā€ he muttered aloud to himself.
Almost running in his nervousness, he went to the table and sat at the edge. With trembling hands, he wrote:
ā€œThings I want to change about myself.ā€
And he felt that his world, in that very moment, had indeed changed. He had taken the first step. Thanks to you. Thanks to your existence. He found himself writing item after item, planning everything, and his trembling gradually subsided.
Another list. ā€œThings I want to change about my flat.ā€
Yet another. ā€œThings I want to change about my office.ā€
ā€œThings I want to learn.ļæ½ļæ½ļæ½
ā€œThings I want to do.ā€
ā€œThings I want to improve in.ā€
And from the early hours of dawn, where the stars adorned the beautiful night sky, to when the first rays of sunlight began to seep through the windows, Hiromi Higuruma was planning, researching, and making changes.
When he finished, he decided it was finally time to prepare to go to work. And he did so lightly, feeling more at ease with himself. Happy, expectant, with a faint smile.
And until you came into his life, Hiromi Higuruma had occasionally considered making a change within himselfā€”mentally, emotionally, and physicallyā€”but he had never taken the idea with the seriousness it truly required.
Until you came along.
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ethicaltreatmentofcowplants Ā· 15 hours ago
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With a friendship score of 39 and no romance, Piper is the lucky sim! And since we owe Pauline for ending the night at the karaoke bar with the highest level of singing skill, she will go on her date after Piper's.
I wanted Lilac to be in a better mood than she was for most of yesterday, so she took a relaxing lavender foam soak.
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Possibly it worked a little too well.
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Romantic Aura, says Spencer? Yes please! He starts the day by giving a rose to Lilacā€¦ who responds by scaring him (yup, definitely way too much time spent around her good buddy Dodo). Fortunately he seems amused by her silliness. Perhaps itā€™s a Harper thing?
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Everyone is happy because itā€™s Some Day Or Another that they will never get to celebrate. (Neighbourhood Brawl, it turns out. But while Agnes Crumplebottom will likely be celebrating, we will not.)
Pauline made breakfast, while Spencer made an observation.
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Looks like his preferences are closer to Leoā€™s than to Dodoā€™s.
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Last night was the first that the sims slept over, and Caden reveals a surprising... what Agnes may call a 'youthful indiscretion.' It's just a tattoo, Agnes, but I likewise concur that he didn't seem the type. Does our corporate shark has a creative side? Well, he does have 'piano' as one of his likes, and recently took up knitting.
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Avery - go piss girl! Literally no one is stopping you. They take the very long route to the party bush outside, when there's a toilet right through the wall from them. Never change, Sims.
With the lot traits it was only a matter of time, and Lilac did not disappoint.
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Lilac and Spencer sojourning upstairs means that as per usual, itā€™s time for chore montage hour. Which may be less interesting than whatever's happening in Lilac's bedroom, but it's also less likely to get me banned from Tumblr.
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Caden and Piper were our gardeners, but as Piper twice refuses the Watcherā€™s request to do some work, theyā€™re sent to sleep on the couch. Instead Pauline (who has been the MVP of this household so far) takes their place, while Avery becomes our piano sim and Aubrey grinds through handiness.
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Aubrey grows tense over last night's failed Graffiti Heist (any one of us could have told you why that wouldn't have worked) so she is the latest pixel to take up yoga.
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As we see, some sims are definitely taking more advantage of the lot traits than others, but with a date scheduled, will Piper be able to push through their UNFLIRTY nature?
Since a little bikini time never hurt the mood, the date takes place on a Strangerville community lot. (I wrote down who it was by but can I find it in my notes? No, I can't.)
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A moment to appreciate Piperā€™s merfolk form.
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As with the first household dates, Lilac performs one friendly and one flirty interaction, then the pair are left to their own devices. Itā€™s not a bad time by any means, but both she and I get the sense that friendship is enough for the other sim (for now, at least).
Piper then goes downstairs to swim and with our time almost up, I donā€™t see the need to continue the date to its full three hours.
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Pauline arrives and the mood is instantly more charged. They make their way to the hot tub and Lilac makes some moves.
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And yes, woo hoo was had.
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The pair are home for all of a hot minute when NOSY Sim Spencer spies on Pauline, and attempts to dish for dirt.
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Things continue to improve between Caden and Lilac. Today his attempt to embrace her is successful, and they even sit together for dinner.
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More singing about yet another holiday that the Watcher really should have removed from this household's calendar had she a single organized bone in her body, then it's time for bed.
@plasmafruittree @x-digitaldollhouse-x @mdshh
@invisiblequeen @sleepyselkiesims @akitasimblr
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bi-bi-buckleys Ā· 5 hours ago
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Hereā€™s a quick fic I wrote when I was meant to be working. I refuse to accept this new version of Maddie the writers are trying to sell us. Posting before the episode airs so I can live in denial a little longer ā¤ļø
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Maddie had just walked out of her favorite local cafe with a modified version of her favorite latte (decafe, low fat sugar free vanilla, ugh) when she sees someone familiar sitting at one of the outdoor tables to her right.
ā€œTommy!ā€
Maddie forgot. Just for a second. Just for the split second it took her to say his name. Oh right. Youā€™re not dating my brother anymore.
Oops.
Tommy looks at her like a deer in headlights. He recovers quickly enough and stands from the table.
ā€œHey, Maddie! How are you?ā€ Heā€™s trying to sound chipper, but after he hugs her she sees the sadness haunting his eyes.
ā€œIā€™m doing well, how are you?ā€
ā€œIā€™mā€¦.Iā€™m ok.ā€
Itā€™s a lie and they both know it.
ā€œHowā€™s Ev-Buck?ā€
ā€œHeartbroken. Baking every time he thinks to call you. His fridge is packed.ā€
Tommy smiles sadly and Maddie feels a stab of guilt for telling her brother to move on. She thought Tommy left because he didnā€™t love Buck, but thatā€™s not the feeling sheā€™s getting right now.
ā€œHe asked me to move in with him. But he never said he loved me. He said he admired me.ā€ Tommy blurts out like he hasnā€™t had a chance to really talk about it.
ā€œOh.ā€ She didnā€™t know that part.
ā€œYeah. And the thing is, I love him. So much. I would love him to be my forever. Heā€™s sweet, and funny, and smart, and ridiculous, and even covered in boils heā€™s the most beautiful man Iā€™ve ever seen. Heā€™s everything to me. But how can I commit to moving in with a man who asks me to move in because he admires me? Because what happens when he realizes he doesnā€™t love me the same way I love him? It wouldnā€™t just break my heart, Maddie: it would destroy it.ā€
Maddie canā€™t see through the tears in her eyes. Sheā€™s never heard anyone talk so earnestly about loving her little brother before. She can tell Tommy really means it. He broke both of their hearts that night.
ā€œSometimes my brother thinks that by saying one thing, the other thing is implied. He gets ahead of himself. Iā€™m sure youā€™ve noticed that, for as smart as he is, his train of thought can be kinda all over the place.ā€
Tommy laughs, but it's sad and full of just how much he misses Buck.
ā€œHe says he can see a future with you, and Iā€™ve never heard him say that before. He also said your happiness is as important to him as his own. Tommy, he wants to call you so bad but heā€™s terrified of you turning him down again. Heā€™s been hurt before, but Iā€™ve never seen him this miserable. You should talk to him. Iā€™m not saying move in with him, but I think you should hear what he has to say. And I think you should believe him.ā€
ā€œIs he working right now?ā€
ā€œNope. Last I heard he was making a pineapple upside down bundt cake.ā€
ā€œWow.ā€
ā€œI know. Seriously, his fridge is packed. Itā€™s concerning.ā€
ā€œThanks, Maddie. Iā€™m gonna go talk to him.ā€
Maddie gives him a hug and watches as he practically runs to his car. She laughs and wipes the tears from her eyes. She starts to think that maybe the universe did give her brother his special person after all.
~~~
Later she gets a call
ā€œSo you talked to Tommy?ā€ Buck whispers.
ā€œI did. I told him to talk to you.ā€
ā€œWhat happened to ā€˜move onā€™?ā€
ā€œThat was before he told me all the things he loves about you and that ā€˜even covered in boils, heā€™s the most beautiful man Iā€™ve ever seen.ā€
Buck gives a small laugh, and she can tell heā€™s blushing. ā€œHe uh, h-he really said that?ā€
ā€œYes he did. Word for word. So, did you talk?ā€
ā€œYeah we uh- we talked. For a long time. About everything.ā€ His voice was even quieter now, but she could hear his happiness.
She knows the answer before she asks, ā€œWhy are you whispering?ā€
ā€œBecause Tommyā€™s asleep next to me.ā€ Maddie can practically see the smile on his face.
ā€œIā€™ll let you get some sleep, too then.ā€
ā€œYeah, I think I probably should,ā€ Buck laughs and Maddie rolls her eyes at the wink wink tone of his voice.
ā€œGoodnight, Evan.ā€
ā€œNight, Maddie. Oh, uh heyā€¦thank you.ā€
ā€œYouā€™re welcome.ā€
After they hang up, Maddie canā€™t stop smiling. Knowing her brother is happy and loved by someone who was willing to put his heart on the line for him. Someone who loves him so much it scares him. Someone who realizes what he walked away from, and went back despite knowing it could end in pain.
Yeah. Sheā€™s pretty certain Tommy is Buckā€™s special person.
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qwuilty Ā· 1 year ago
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Muppets In Paradise: Gone Postal (Postal 1 Crossover fic)
Hiii i had this idea a while back but was mid-semester, but after bringing it up on a draw session i got egged on to actually write it so now you get to deal with it too <3 Basically imagine one of those Muppet movies with one human but its Postal 1
No majorly bad trigger warnings, mainly just descriptions of meltdowns, comic violence, descriptions of puppets if that freaks you out, canon-typical paranoia build-ups, nothing else besides that. (and if you need anything else tagged let me know!) This is just kind of a crack fic taken semi-seriously.
(Also thank you to my friend for beta reading before i passed out <3 <3 <3)
Maybe it was good to get a new start. Sure, leaving behind everything he knew before was never easy, maybe it was running away from it all to save himself the shame of admitting he failed, but when one door closed, another opened. At least that's what they said.
The listing seemed a bit strange, a completely fine looking house listed for practically nothing, furniture left behind, no real damage to the property, and the seller seeming desperate to get out as soon as possible rang some alarm bells before he even accepted it. The area seemed like something of a ghost town, little to nothing about it online besides some landscape shots, but when he was this desperate, did he really have a choice to be picky?Ā 
He tried not to think about it for too long, maybe they just needed to move for a job, a family emergency, something that denoted him not even wanting to meet up to move in, no he just wanted to leave the keys under the doormat. But again, with the position he was in, Dude couldn't afford to be picky. He and Champ needed somewhere to stay, anywhere was better than nothing.
Driving into the small town, there didn't seem to be much commotion besides a sign simply welcoming him in and saying there was a fairly small population, but with no one on the streets, it felt like he was the only one really there. A looming sense of unease set in by the time he finally made it to his new home in a sea of other small and obnoxiously colorful homes, beginning to wonder if this really was a ghost town or some sort of elaborate set up.Ā 
Was he walking into some kind of trap? Did they intend to go in when it was night and rob him blind? There seemed to be something looking at him, whatever it was closing their curtains as soon as he looked back to them while Champ seemed to push his legs trying to get inside the house. Steeling his nerves, he took the key out from under the doormat and made his way in.
Things seemed to be normal, if not a little dusty. Furniture was all there like it was listed, nothing moving much in the old house besides him and his dog. Maybe he was just making mountains out of molehills again. This was his new start, he was going to be fine again. He was just going to enjoy sitting on this couch, even if it was a little dusty, and he was going to-
A knock at the door.
Dude looked besides himself to the door, the knocking was soft but persistent. Champ had made himself comfortable in the armchair next to the sofa, and laid out like that he clearly had no intention of moving any time this year. Standing up with caution, Dude approached the door with a hand rested over his hip, though he didn't want to use it so soon in his brand new start, if he needed to defend himself he had a sidearm at the ready. As he opened the door however, his eyes weren't met with another human, no, they looked down to see some sort of... Green frog puppet?
"Hidey-ho!"
Dude shut the door behind him in a quick slamming motion, his heart racing a little. Did that puppet just talk? No, no it had to just be nerves. Some sort of stupid prank or something, his mind fucking with him. He opened the door again, slower than last as he looked down to the puppet who stared patiently back at him and still, it began to speak again. "Hi there, sorry, didn't mean to scare you there neighbor." Dozens of thoughts crossed his mind as the fleece covered frog talked back to him, moving too... Organically. Even after taking off his glasses, blinking a little and trying to go back to some sense of reality didn't make this thing go away.Ā 
"And your name?" He asked, pulling Dude back into the moment. "What?" "What's your name?" The puppet asked seemingly in earnest, and though he was still deeply confused, he responded and told him his name. "Well it's nice to meet you, my name is Kermit! You must be the new guy moving in after the old one left, shame he had to go so soon, do you know where he went?"
Dude just slowly shook his head, a look of concern etched into his face while Kermit continued. "Well that's a shame. Still, i'd love to get to know you a little more, is it ok if I bring a few friends over to meet you?" His voice, though somewhat high pitched and croaky, seemed to hold little malice in it. "...I mean- Sure? I don't think-" He was cut off before he could finish his train of thought, Kermit looking back quickly as his voice raised to a holler. "Come on out everyone, we've gotta meet the new neighbor!"Ā 
Before he could protest, doors swung ajar and curtains opened, seemingly spewing out a hoard of similarly strange creatures that now flooded towards his house. Even as a fairly tall, strong guy having all those things moving around him damn near knocked him over and pulled him in like a lost child through a river current, Champ waking up and standing a little on the cushion of the chair as what was once a quiet little home was now bursting with the sound of many voices speaking over each other. It was hard to make out many figures in the crowd, the green one had made his way over to what appeared to be a pig woman wearing heavy makeup and a bear wearing a hat, some resembled something closer to a human than the others, but their proportions were exaggerated and strange with the same round eyes and fabric skin as the rest.Ā 
One particular blueā€¦ Thing beside him with a long curved nose bumped into his leg, chasing after what seemed to just be a normal chicken at an abnormally large size, speaking in a loud shrill voice about someone named ā€œCamillaā€. Trying not to trample any of them over, Dude made his way to the empty spot on the sofa, sitting down to try and look over at Champ who was sniffing another one of them who seemed to just be some kind of nondescript brown dog. He let out a loud sigh, trying to collect his thoughts until he was startled by one wearing some sort of flashy top hat with green skin and red hair thanking him for throwing such a ā€œrocking house partyā€ until the frog finally made his way back to him and tugged on his pant leg. ā€œOh, I completely forgot to introduce you to everyone! Come on, I'll help you meet everyone!ā€Ā 
The evening seemed to pass in a blur, a complete brain rattling sensation of colors, shapes, and names thrown his way as they went through every colorful character until the last one finally left, no one in the house but him, Champ, and Kermit. ā€œThanks for having us over, neighbor. Try to get some sleep, ok? See you tomorrow!ā€ Dude tried to muster whatever smile he could until the frog left and for the first time since those doors opened he could really breathe.Ā 
Champ followed closely behind as Dude grabbed one of his bags and walked to the bedroom, stepping over some feathers and clumps of red fur until he finally made it inside. Thankfully none of them seemed to go in here, everything was still in good condition as Dude took out some clothes to wear for the night and put down one of his spare pillows for Champ to sleep on.Ā 
Though he intended to unpack that night now he had hardly any energy to keep himself standing, spending what little he had on getting changed into something more comfortable. Laying his head down on the mattress, he decided his diary entry for the night could wait until the next morning. After all, how could he even process what had happened to him that evening? So instead he curled over, closing his eyes and went to sleep. Or at least, he tried to. The noise outside made it hard, but with how exhausted he was, he eventually broke though.
He would have hoped to wake up back at home, finding out everything was just some bizarre fever dream, but in the morning he was in the same bed with Champ drooling over onto the floor. He changed sluggishly, still feeling drained from before as he tried to maintain some kind of routine even in the madness. There was almost a sense of peace to it, a familiar comfort. Except for the undeniable sounds ofā€¦ Whatever those things were talking and screaming outside. Maybe it was a good idea to just stay inside for the day, do some of that unpacking he was going to before.
Even still, it was hard to focus when he could hear those felt creatures knocking things over, even with the walls of his new home they seemed to break through and disturb him while he got his belongings around. It was like he could hardly hear himself think, especially as he swore he heard the sound of something exploding, but when he looked out the window all he saw was one with a long head and orange hair running down the street as one with a green head ran after him. Even having everything out didnā€™t seem to help him feel any better, maybe he just needed something-Ā 
Shit, right. The fridge was empty.Ā 
Dude grimaced a little, nothing much in there but dust and cold air before he stood up. Alright, maybe heā€™d have to go outside. That was okay. It was totally okay. Everything was okay. He scrambled through his belongings, pulling out a CD player and some headphones to put on. It wasnā€™t the perfect answer but itā€™d at least block out some of the noise, plus he had some cassettes still in his car to listen to. Sure, he hated the bright fluorescents, sure the noise was insufferable, but he had to eat. Putting on some sunglasses to block out the bright sun, he said his goodbyes to Champ resting outside the door, trying not to make eye contact with those around him.Ā 
He had just one goal, make it to the grocery store, get what heā€™d need for a bit, then get back home and hunker down a little until he felt better again. He drove through the streets, every house all seemed to blend together into this uncomfortably colorful blur as he looked around for a grocery store. He should have tried to get a map or something, but it was too late now, how big was this damn town anyways? He almost passed it by the time he finally did find the thing, parking his quaint car besides the other bizarre ones and putting his sunglasses back on while preparing himself for whatever other insanity waited inside and putting an old CD inside the player.Ā 
He walked into the store with his shoulders hunched over, trying not to stare at anyone or notice anyone staring at him and instead focusing on just getting the essentials. If he could find them. The shelves seemed to be sectioned off for puppets of differing heights, nothing on them looking familiar at all and everything the same eye straining bright colors that surrounded him everywhere in this town, throwing him off his mental list of what he had gotten every other time he got groceries. Still, he tried to fight an ever looming feeling he was going to burst out of his very own skin, making his way quickly to try and locate what he needed and shove it into his basket so he could get out and go as soon as possible.Ā 
Finally he managed to locate the last bit needed, a bag of dog food he hoisted under one of his arms that he located in these labyrinth halls of pure mental overstimulation as he could finally make his way up to the front. The wait thankfully wasnā€™t too long, however the one at the front looked familiar. It was one of the more humanoid ones, though her bright orange skin and lack of nose was a bit discomforting. Her name was Janice, as her name tag had labeled her, her valley girl accent permeating through the room as she talked to herself for a while ringing him up, Dude only responded with faint mumbling and nodding until she was finally done and he could leave this place.Ā 
The drive back was just as confusing to him as the drive there, everything in this town was like an absurdist painting mocking the average suburbia. It was normal if you gave it a passing glance but every moment there made it feel a little strange. Maybe he was beginning to understand what made the previous resident of his house leave so soon. The sun began to set as he finally made it back home, hauling everything in as fast as he could to try and minimize time spent outside as much as possible. Things seemed to be a little less chaotic at nighttime, giving him a slight respite while he put his food away until he called it in for the night and pulled his diary out to finally write about what had happened these prior days.
Diary:
This move has been one of the strangest moments of my life. What seemed like just a merely alarming occurrence has spiraled a brand new world of color and noise, an endless cacophony of insanity that wears me out after only a short time here.Ā 
Iā€™m trying to keep calm as best I can, maybe one day i can learn to embrace it or escape all this. But for the time being I must keep my wits about me.Ā 
The things here seem harmless, (seem harmlessā€¦) but theyā€™ve got to have (got to haveā€¦) some sort of ulterior motive. (ulterior motiveā€¦)
Dude paused, the feeling of something light on his shoulder whispering down his ear in a shrill voice as he turned his head, eyes meeting with a pair of bulbous eyes uncomfortably close. It was the blue thing again, having somehow made his way inside this home. HIS home.
ā€œHas anyone told you that you have lovely penmanship?ā€
The blue puppet was practically weightless as Dude held him by the collar of his shirt, trying to spit out an explanation for what he was doing, but Dude had little patience to hear it at the moment. He wanted these creations out of his only place of solace until he could learn to cope with it, they were his grounds to feel like he could actually be safe from all the noise, and having these felt creatures breaking in was an affront to that with his strange chicken partner following closely behind the two of them.Ā 
As he put the blue one on the ground he slammed the door behind him, the sound of two older men heckling the events around him muffled behind as he stormed his way back to his room, shutting his diary preemptively and trying to go back to bed again for another night of restless sleep.
The days that followed were hardly much better, trying to spend as much time inside as he could to avoid his new ā€˜neighborsā€™ as he could, time spent outside only made his brain ache and his mind twist trying to comprehend his surroundings. Some of these people spoke what seemed to be complete nonsense, their incessant singing, their loud talking, it began to dig into his brain like a drill picking at his skull. He thought if he gave it time he would come around to it all, but how could any man adapt to a world of pure insanity? What had been a ā€œnew startā€ only left him regressing back to his isolated state, now surrounded by pure senseless noise.
Some of them tried to get inside, they knocked on the door, asked for him by name, but he didnā€™t want to give them much time of day unless he was letting Champ inside and out. There had to be something else to this, there was something sinister about it, wasnā€™t there? Some kind of cruel intention to this madness, these uncanny creatures and how they sang and danced with a hive-like rhythm, a disgusting parody of mankindā€™s behavior. It was all too much, endless sounds, migraine inducing colors, he couldnā€™t handle it.
The final straw had come after almost a full month of pure unbridled mania that everyone but him seemed to understand and walk in tune to but he was forever out of sync with. Sleep had been harder and harder to come by, the noise didnā€™t let him. Instead he spent time trying to comprehend it, connecting what, where, and why it all was like this. Maybe if he knew it all, maybe he could finally have peace. That was, until he heard something even louder than usual outside the door.Ā 
Banging drums, hollering, the sound of brass instruments and singing breaking through the walls of his home, there was no place to think in this god forsaken town! As he shambled outside, holding onto the doorframe, he got a view of what was happening, it was a damn parade! The sight of it was horrific, a testament that there was nothing to understand about any of this. They had no sense of sanity, no coherence, everything was pure madness that he was forced to be subject to unless he DID something about it.
If he could find a way to stop these strange beasts, end their madness, then he would finally rest. No one else would have to suffer through this like he had to. It had to end NOW. Dude moved through the crowd, pushing past with little regard as he was stuck on a mission, a goal in all of this that he was fixated on. The last moments as he made it to the front were more of a blur than anything, stopping a large float then screaming. They all ran like rats caught in the light, the instruments fell out of sync, everything swinging around and knocking the puppets around as the sound of a cannon damn near shattered his eardrums, and finally the last thing he saw was a fast moving blue object barrelling towards him and impacting his head as he suddenly lost consciousness.
By the time he had woken up all he heard was the sound of faint beeping of a heart monitor and still some ringing in his ears. His eyes adjusted to the light, he was in some sort of makeshift hospital gown, startled as he looked beside himself and saw that damn green puppet again. Something on his face seemed concerned however, a moment of silence permeated until he spoke up in his same croaking voice. ā€œIā€¦ see youā€™re awake.ā€
Dude winced, a sharp pain in his head as he touched where the impact happened and pulled back a small amount of blood while Kermit tried to stop him from messing with it any further. ā€œItā€™s still tender, youā€™re gonna want to let it heal a bit.ā€ There was still a sense of real worry in his voice while Dude sat back again.Ā 
ā€œ...Did anyone die?ā€ It was morbid, but it was the only thing he could think of as Kermit reassured him. ā€œNo, donā€™t worry. No one died, theyā€™re justā€¦ā€ He looked away, hopping off of the stool and walking toward the door and leaning out as the sound of groaning echoed down the hall. ā€œTheyā€™re just a little injured.ā€ They sounded more than just a little injured. Kermit sighed and walked his way back to the stool, hoisting himself back onto it before looking back at Dude.
ā€œListen, i just. I wanted to talk about something with you, is that ok?ā€ Dude looked back for a moment before giving a somewhat reluctant nod. ā€œNow, I don't like prying into anyoneā€™s business. Itā€™s rude to do so, and itā€™s not good of a neighbor to be rude. But i just- That little journal of yours, we found it after trying to see what happened to you to do something like thatā€¦ā€Ā 
It was clear he was trying to tread carefully, having some sensibility that the subject would be sensitive after waking up right after. ā€œIf weā€™d have known, we would have done something to help, you know? Itā€™s hard to speak up, I get it, but we didnā€™t mean to make you so worried.ā€ Maybe he really was losing it, but it felt somewhat comforting to be told so, even if it was by some strange frog puppet.Ā 
ā€œTheyā€™re probably gonna have to hold you for a bit, theyā€™re not gonna let you just walk out of here after that big event at the parade until they know youā€™re really sorry about the whole thing, but after you and i can talk about stuff, we can get something set up, and weā€™ll try to help you, okay?ā€ Kermit moved off from the stool, walking off to the door before looking back. ā€œGet some rest, ok? See you tomorrow.ā€Ā 
As he had said, they intended to hold him for a while, talking about community service, public apologies. Just a month or so, maybe theyā€™d wanted to be more lenient considering his circumstances. Still, maybe he was right when he first got here.Ā 
Something about new starts, rocky as they were. But at least it could change and he could make it work.Ā 
Even if it was in a town as crazy as Paradise.
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ice-sculptures Ā· 2 years ago
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Why does the girl crying about her ugly boyfriend + the friend comforting her by saying she could dump her boyfriend tomorrow sound like El and Max? (Although the jury disagrees with the statement that Mike is ugly).
oh my god anon, you're a genius šŸ˜­
you inspired me, so here, i wrote 2k of elmax one-sided enemies-to-friends-to-something-more šŸ‘€ meet-cute with a hint of byler!!
and i just wanna include a disclaimer that the abundant mike slander in this is just for the bit!! i think mike is so very wonderful, and, of course, finn wolfhard is absolutely gorgeous :)
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mayspicer Ā· 2 months ago
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Mmm nothing like a good old full blown panic attack, I haven't had one in years. This time at least I have access to medication to make it stop a lot faster, but I have 6 pills left for the next 2,5 months and the recent trends in my mental state are not looking good.
#majek says shit#very bad year and VERY BAD week#had a new friend over for a few days and they had and encounter with an absolute bed bug infestation a couple days earlier#took all precautions they could and were very serious about the whole thing but were paranoid#something bit my bf on the knee literally the day after she left and we're in overdrive now#I say it's a mosquito because that night there was one in the house that I couldn't cath#but he says thats not how his body reacts to mosquitoes. I'm keeping myself in denial to preserve the little mental health I have left#my body decided that the stress will manifest as itchy hives which is great#we moved everything to my room and I'm going insane#I need my own space to live with someone and we even slept separately for like 2 years because it's better for sleep quality#and now we sleep together which is pretty nice and nicer than I remembered but also I have literally no space mental or physical#I'm unemployed and he works from home#we moved the tv to watch movies in bed and everything is taking so much physical space. my personal space#the house is a mess and my life is a mess and everything seems hopeless#I'm having... anxiety attacks? first once a week now every day. I always thought they were like milder panic attacks#they kinda are. as in they are shorter. and actually about something not the undescribed ā€œwatch out!ā€#but severity is like a panic attack was compressed into a few seconds which feel like I'm standing on the edge of a void pulling me in#it's physical. I have to physically hold on to something or move my body vigorously as if I'm shuffling away#and it lasts literally seconds and I'm fine-ish#my psychiatrist heard about it happening once a week and wrote me a prescription (?) to go to psychiatric hospital#not to stay there but for intensive 5-6h daily three month therapy#and after that visit I started having these attacks daily I think because it got to me that I'm Not Ok#it all started when I started on my new antidepressants and they are helping... but I'm afraid they are breaking something else...#I'm scared that they are#but so much is happening#unemployed for a year. my industry is going to shit. lost my friend who made sure to give me a big package of toxic waste as a farewell gift#so I have no support from anyone who even remotely understands me#unemployment means rejection over and over because I'm trying...#and this week exhausted me socially on top of everything. and the bed bugs threat. it's good I at least have xanax when it gets like today#oh also I'm turning 30 in a month. this is going to be great for job opportunities I can feel it
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writingsbychlo Ā· 3 months ago
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WITHDRAWAL | theodore nott
summary; theo decides to quit smoking, but doesn't realise that his decision would affect his girlfriend, too.
word count; 3007
notes; just a cute, fluffy little piece based on something that I was tagged in about 2 months ago! unfortunately, I cannot find the original post or tagger, but if it's you, please let me know!!
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If there was one thing about Theodore Nott that couldn't be denied, it was that he loved with everything he had.Ā 
He loved his friends; he was loyal to a fault and heā€™d never let them down. He loved his family, he wrote over fifteen letters a week to all his aunties and cousins, and still held onto his motherā€™s recipe book, even to this day.Ā 
And he loved, adored, his girlfriend with everything that he had. Heā€™d do anything for her, crawl across hot coals if she asked, give up his magic and his money and his legacy, just to make her happy. Sheā€™d never asked as such of him, still blushed when he pulled out his wallet when they shopped and smiled brighter than the sun when he gave her a handmade card or something heā€™d cooked. So, to his eyes, it didnā€™t seem all that much when he decided to give up smoking for her.Ā 
She hadn't asked him to, never even pulled a face when he smoked. But Theo was damn sick of trying to blow the smoke away from her when she joined him at the astronomy tower, cuddled up to his chest, because he didnā€™t want that poison near her. He hated watching her shiver on the colder nights, he hated waking her in the middle of the night when he got up to satiate that itch, and he hated thinking of a future where he left her too soon, running short on time, because he ruined himself.
He chucked his last box into the fireplace one impulsive morning, and thought he might go cold turkey. Heā€™d been so moody by lunchtime that heā€™d almost bitten Enzoā€™s head off over the way he pronounced ā€˜tomatoā€™. That afternoon, heā€™d ditched his classes and trudged through the snow to the floo connection at the Hogā€™s Head, and picked up enough nicotine patches from a muggle supply store to knock out a fully grown Hippogriff.
Heā€™d torn the packaging off of one in the grimy restroom at the back of the store and slapped it onto his bicep, and almost collapsed from the relief it gave him. It wasnā€™t nearly as effective as picking up a packet from the newsagentā€™s stand heā€™d passed wouldā€™ve been, but as soon as his fingers had twitched to pick up a box, your face had flashed through his mind. Your face, smiling at him, your face that morning telling him how proud you were of him when heā€™d shared his goals in hopes of support, and it was enough to deter him from the purchase.
You were his strength, once again, as youā€™d always been.Ā 
And truly, you were so proud of Theo. Changing his patches for him every evening, in time with that first one. Reading up on the muggle solutions, and making sure you were fully versed on how to help him. Keeping him busy seemed to help, when he got bored, his eyes started flicking towards the door, and the slight irritability heā€™d been able to keep a lid on pretty well would begin to flare up. For the most part, heā€™d been staying at your dorm, in an active attempt to keep away from Mattheo, who wasnā€™t quite ready to give up his comfortable vice just yet.Ā 
Unfortunately, as the days went on, while Theo seemed to be handling it just fine, you were struggling. The irritability grew, even Dracoā€™s breathing was making you want to snap pencils in half in the library, or throw Enzo off the astronomy tower if he scraped his fork on his plate one more time. You were ravenous, and nauseous, all at the same time. You wanted to eat everything but could hardly hold it down. You were dizzy, and fatigued, and your grades were going to start slipping if this continued, because it had been almost a week since youā€™d been able to concentrate on any thought longer than a minute, never mind a whole class.Ā 
And now, you were lying in bed, rubbing at your eyes angrily but unable to sleep as you stared at the ceiling. Theo, for once, was sleeping soundly beside you. Since giving up smoking, his sleep patterns had been getting better, while yours were getting worse by the night. Almost a week, and youā€™d barely gotten nine hours of sleep put together.Ā 
When you shuffled again, pressing yourself a little closer to Theo as you rolled onto your side, he began to surface. The arm over your midriff tightened, pulling you in until your hips were bracketed against his, and he chuckled sleepily into your neck. Burying himself in, he pressed a kiss there, and another, and another. The rough pounding of your heart settled as you clasped Theoā€™s hand in your own, holding them to your chest as he littered your shoulder with kisses.Ā 
At your sigh, he rolled you over, propping himself up on his elbow and yawning. Shaking his hand free from your own, he stroked the back of a finger along your cheek, and leaned down to press a kiss to your lips. As his hand settled on the side of your neck instead, yours slipped up to cup his jaw, and you melted into the tender love he offered you in the darkest hours.Ā 
ā€œWhatā€™s wrong, tesoro? Why are you awake?ā€
ā€œWhy are you awake?ā€ you rebuffed, fingers lifting to comb through his hair, to push it back out of his eyes as he blinked himself a little more awake.
He shrugged, ā€œThis is about the time Iā€™d normally go for a smoke.ā€ He murmured, and your eyes flickered to the clock.Ā 
You knew well enough the schedule Theo used to keep while smoking. Your timetable had slowly synched to it over the time youā€™d been dating. Heā€™d wake up during the night, at some point around two, and disappear for a smoke. Heā€™d take twenty minutes, or thirty if he bumped into Mattheo, and then heā€™d come back to bed.Ā 
You didnā€™t mind the disturbance. Not when heā€™d come back slightly chilled from the night air and snuggle in close to you, wrapping himself around you.
ā€œActually, this is the time youā€™d normally come back from having a smoke, and give me my midnight kisses.ā€
ā€œIs that why my girl is so restless tonight? Because I owe her some kisses?ā€ He teased, leaning down until your noses were bumping, and you could taste the mint on his breath. Normally, he tasted like smoke, not toothpaste, and the shock of his warm lips instead of cold ones made you hum.Ā 
The languid kisses melted the time away, his hand sliding up your shirt, sitting on your ribs and squeezing softly as he lowered himself down, covering your body with his own. Theo had always been your comfort, and your happy place. Being in his arms made you feel safe, and his kisses made you feel relaxed. As he licked his way into your mouth lazily, you anticipated the hazy blur of relaxation that usually followed when he kissed you.Ā 
But, like usual recently, it never came. Instead, when he finally pulled back, and pecked the tip of your nose, he found you frowning, instead of smiling up at him. ā€œWhatā€™s wrong?ā€
ā€œI donā€™t know.ā€ You huffed, frustrated at yourself, at your confusion and the growing irrational irritation. ā€œItā€™s not the same.ā€
ā€œWhatā€™s not the same, bella?ā€
ā€œYourā€¦ your kisses.ā€ Your words trailed to a whisper, knowing he wouldn't understand, and the hurt that flickered across his face made your heartbreak.Ā 
ā€œTheyā€™re not?ā€
ā€œNo. I donā€™t know why.ā€ His lips curled further at the sides, and the look on his face made you want to cry. It made you hate yourself, aggressively, and if you could tear out your own heart and give it to him just to see him smile again, you would. Just another thing youā€™d been suffering with lately, an overwhelm of your emotions, worse than any mood swing you got when you were on your period. ā€œItā€™s not you, Teddy, itā€™s me. Youā€™re still my happy place, youā€™ve done nothing wrong. Itā€™s me. Iā€™m the problem.ā€
ā€œYouā€™re not a problem, bella. But we should figure it out. I donā€™t want toā€¦ kiss you wrong, and see that look on your face. Whatā€™s different, tell me whatā€™s changed?ā€ His sweet words made tears prickle at your eyes, and you sniffed sadly as you looked at him.Ā 
ā€œI love you so much, Theo.ā€
ā€œI know, tesoro. I love you too.ā€ His thumb smoothed over your cheek, ā€œTell me.ā€
ā€œI donā€™t know!ā€ Your snap made his eyes widen. ā€œYouā€™re justā€¦ different. You donā€™t kiss the same way, you used to get all needy when you came back from a smoke, but you donā€™t anymore, and you taste different! You taste like mint right now, and it just doesnā€™t make me feel the same way afterwards.ā€
Your words were jumbled and hurried, rushed out as you smoked them and his brows furrowed as he tried to decipher what you meant. Second ticked by into silent minutes as Theoā€™s wonderful mind ticked and whirred, thinking the problem through, and playing with the information. Then, before you could say anything else, something clicked. You could see it in his eyes, when the gears stopped turning and the thoughts stopped flowing because heā€™d found the answer.Ā 
Pulling away from you, he sat up, kicking back the covers and letting in the cold air, before moving across the room and shuffling through his gym kit left in the corner. Pulling out a nicotine packet from the box inside, he shook it out, using his teeth to tear open the packet as he made his way back to the bed. Sitting yourself up, you propped yourself in the pillows as he peeled off the plastic backing, and tried to unstick his fingers from it, holding it by the corners.Ā 
ā€œYouā€™ve only had your patch on for nine hours, Teddy, itā€™s not time to change yet.ā€
He clicked his tongue, shaking his head and settling in beside you on the bed, legs folded underneath himself. ā€œThis isnā€™t for me, bella. Take off your shirt.ā€Ā 
Slipping your arm out of your shirt, you pushed it to the side, watching as Theo brushed cotton fibres off of your shoulder, before sealing the patch onto your skin. He made sure it was properly sealed down, flattening it to your skin, before feeding your arm back through the sleeve of your shirt. He smoothed the top back down your torso, pressing a cheeky kiss to your breast over your heart as he did, and sitting back on his legs to wait.Ā 
ā€œGive it a second, then tell me how you feel.ā€ He whispered, the moment feeling entirely too fragile as his hand took yours, fingers linked together. He kissed along your knuckles, his eyes locked on your face, waiting. And the moment you felt it hit, you knew he saw it too.Ā 
It was like a cool, soothing balm over a raw, aggravated wound. It felt like running cold water on a new burn or healing a painful graze with a quick Episky. ā€œOh, Merlinā€¦ā€
ā€œI know, tell me about it.ā€ He mumbled, the smile on his face at victoriously solving the problem melting away as realisation set in. ā€œCazzo, bella, Iā€™m so sorry. This is all my fault.ā€
ā€œWhat are you talking about?ā€
ā€œYou have a nicotine addiction, and itā€™s my fault. All that time you spent with me at the tower, and the smoke on me, and kissing you as soon as I finished smoking. All your moodiness these last few daysā€”ā€
ā€œHey!ā€
ā€œItā€™s true, baby. It all makes sense.ā€ He rubbed a hand over his face, and squeezed your hand tighter in the other. ā€œI canā€™t tell you how sorry I am. I quit because I didnā€™t want this to happen to you, I didnā€™t want my problems to poison you, but itā€™s too late.ā€
ā€œKiss me.ā€
ā€œWhat?ā€
ā€œKiss me, Teddy.ā€ You demand again, pulling him in, and his mouth collides with yours as he makes a subtle groan of surprise and pleasure.Ā 
His hand gripped the headboard behind you, the other skimming down your side. As you leaned back into the pillows, you took him with you, his body falling over your own, slotting between your thighs as our hearts thudded together where his chest pressed to yours. Your hands slid over his shoulders, skimming down his back, and he moaned again as your fingernails scraped across his lower back as you tugged at his shirt.Ā 
He sat up, letting you pull it off of him, before his arms were back, caging you in on either side as he fell back down against you. Pulling one of your legs up to sit on his hip, he dragged himself away from your mouth, trailing wet kisses down your jaw, to the pulse point on your neck and back up.Ā 
ā€œMerde, bella. Whatā€™s gotten into you? Not that Iā€™m complaining.ā€
ā€œYouā€™re perfect, Theo.ā€ You smiled, leaning up to steal more kisses from his lips that he was happy to reciprocate, ā€œYouā€™re perfect, your kisses are perfect. I knew it was me, not you. I was the problem.ā€
ā€œA problem I gave you,ā€ He groaned, his hips rolling against your own as you giggled breathlessly.Ā 
ā€œYeah, whatever. Now weā€™re quitting together. Thatā€™s the promise we made, we do everything together, right?ā€
ā€œDamn right, tesoro.ā€ He growled, teeth nipping at the underside of your jaw, as he began to make his way down your body. Your fingers were loose in his hair, settling back in the pillows, eyes slipping closed as he kissed along the insides of your thighs, teasingly. Finally, your body could relax, no longer tense and buzzing, but the foggy comfort of the night made your muscles ease into the bed, your body feeling heavy, and you sighed in bliss.Ā 
Theo mumbled something, and you let your legs fall a little further apart, but your grip on consciousness was falling further and further away as the nicotine coursed through your body, finally letting you ease into sleep youā€™d missed for days.
ā€œBella,ā€ Theo said, his voice sharper, and you stirred, working hard to force your eyes open, but theyā€™d only made it halfway. His hair was ruffled, eyes wide and lips swollen, but his smirk melted away from his face into a tender smile as he looked down at you.Ā 
ā€œSorry, whatā€™d you say, baby?ā€ The words slurred out of you, and he chuckled. His fingers unhooked from the sides of your shorts, and he leaned over to kiss your forehead. ā€œMā€™sorry, Iā€™m so sleepy all of a sudden.ā€
ā€œSā€™okay, bella. Never apologise. Cā€™mere, letā€™s just cuddle.ā€
Tucking your body into his, you shuffled your hips back into him, and he threw his leg over yours as he held you tight to his body. ā€œYouā€™re hard.ā€
ā€œItā€™ll go down, donā€™t worry.ā€ He snickered, kissing the back of your head. ā€œSā€™your fault anyway.ā€
ā€œSorryā€¦ā€ You whispered, again, sleepily. ā€œIā€™ll make it up tā€™you tā€™morrow.ā€
ā€œGo to sleep, amore.ā€
But youā€™d already drifted off.
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It was just as you were closing your History of Magic book, that Theo announced his presence in the common room as he walked in alongside Mattheo. They were loud, and raucous, and thankfully, you were less inclined to bite their heads off for it today.Ā 
In fact, alongside Enzo, youā€™d been able to catch up on all of the History homework youā€™d been missing out on for the last week or so, getting you back on track for at least one of your subjects.Ā 
ā€œPatch change time, bella!ā€ Theo announced, making his way over to you as he untucked his shirt and began to undo the buttons down the front. Tugging the tie out of the way, he crashed down ungracefully onto the couch beside you, Mattheo nudging Draco to move up so he could sit down too.Ā 
This had become a regular part of your routine now, and you pushed the edges of his half-unbuttoned shirt aside to reveal the patch sitting on the middle of his left pectoral. Picking at one corner, you peeled it away gently, careful not to tug on his skin as you did, and Theo watched on adoringly in silence as you took care of him. Unwrapping a new patch, you brushed off the spot, before sticking a new patch onto him and smoothing down the bandage.Ā 
He patted it himself, before doing a couple of the buttons on his shirt back up for modesty, as though he hadn't already given half of the common room a show, before he leaned in to peck your lips. His fingers fell to the buttons of your shirt, and he began to undo them slowly. ā€œYour turn.ā€
He undid just enough to reveal your shoulder, without letting anyone else catch a glimpse of anything underneath, and as he leaned down to begin peeling away the old patch, you caught Enzoā€™s confused expression.Ā 
ā€œWhy are you wearing a patch?ā€ He asked, and Theo laughed to himself quietly as he changed your old one out.Ā 
ā€œBecause loverboy here got me addicted too, through kisses and secondary smoke.ā€
The others burst out laughing, unfettered by your glaring as they made kissy sounds and crude remarks, while Theo buttoned your shirt back up. Your glare turned to him as you caught sight of his smile, and he shrugged, a lopsided smile on his lips. ā€œWhat can I say, bella? Iā€™m just that good.ā€
ā€œOh, shut it,ā€ You smacked his chest, and he took your hand, tugging you forward to cuddle you into his chest as he kissed your temple.Ā 
ā€œI happen to think itā€™s adorable that as a by-product of how you got addicted, that means you were addicted to me.ā€
ā€œMhmm.ā€ Your eyes rolled, and he squeezed you even tighter.Ā 
ā€œYou had me addicted to you without any substances at all, bella. Just you.ā€
ā€œAlright,ā€ You scoff, ā€œStop sweet-talking me.ā€
ā€œNever.ā€
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setsumushou Ā· 1 year ago
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I cried again in a public restroom because it is hitting me that it's probably finally over for me, despite all I've tried to do, despite all I have left to give. And I cried because of what bogbeast told me yesterday - that they were done with Top Gun (thankfully, it's because they genuinely found another interest and not because of anything else). That I probably won't be getting what I hoped at least would be my parting Christmas gift this year. This fandom was kept slightly alive for me because of them and yellow_crayon for so long - the only two people who freely talked to me on a personal level this year and still wrote for Roosmav - and how disappointing of an ending to something they loved this was because of their friendships with me.
I'm getting up to write this at 4 a.m., so I'm not coherent, but I want to elaborate on this more later, and all that they have done for me, but I remember bogbeast being upset that it seemed less people were caring about their writing this year as time went on, and I couldn't explain to them that the reason less people from the Roosmav server were commenting on their fic was because it was becoming more obvious that they were friends with me. And all they had done was befriend me and help me with my writing this year (it's obvious now, but they beta'd my first four stories/all of my bottom!Bradley fics this year).
I remember being so relieved that Fopps commented on the second-to-last chapter of their Roosmav longfic, "Hold Me Under." Tbh, I was surprised Fopps had kept commenting on it after I became friends with them. Fopps was the first comment on that fic, so while I know she didn't end up commenting on the last chapter - and maybe she didn't even end up finishing that story - I know she really liked it, at least in the beginning.
I told yellow_crayon that in the likelihood it doesn't work out for me, and I have to leave the fandom for good, I want her to be able to formally disassociate from me so that she can finish her WIPs in peace and link them on the Roosmav server because she had always had a wonderful reputation with everyone there until her friendship with me. I don't think she linked her priestfic on there in the beginning of the year because she had gifted it to me, and I had even told her at the time - because I had felt so bad and was aware that her gifting it to me meant that she couldn't post it there - that she should un-gift it to me. But she kept it gifted to me, and it's this kind of gesture which showed me that I really did matter to her - that she would sacrifice that ability to post her work on there because of our friendship.
I've felt so terrified and guilty that my friends are friends with me for so long, because I have had to wonder: If they openly associate with me, will other people stop commenting on/supporting their works? I cried when Lake agreed to let me give her beta credit on my priest fic because I had fully expected to not be able to - that I had to hide my friendships with people forever because I didn't want to put them in a bad position with their other friends.
I have had to calculate everything I did this year - every work I have posted, every conversation I have had with a friend - because I wanted to show that I still wanted to give to this fandom, that I was willing to draw/write things that no one else in the Roosmav fandom, after all this time, has; and I didn't want to inadvertently get my friends in trouble for simply associating with me, but I still wanted to show that I was 1000% loyal to Roosmav by the fact that every person that I still talk to and remain friends with is from the Roosmav server. That I have everything to lose - Lake, Lily, YC, my friends - if I had any intent outside of just wanting to positively contribute to something I love.
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saintobio Ā· 4 months ago
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sincerely yours. (12)
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ā†³ gojou satoru/reader
when a twist of fate led their marriage to the path of a quintessential tragic romance, two past lovers go through another series of experiences on love, heartbreak, identity, illness, and trauma along the road to a happily ever after.Ā 
genre. heavy angst, amnesia, modern au, 18+Ā 
tags/warnings. depression, mentions of cheating, trauma, implied suicide attempt, toxic relationships, illnesses
notes. 11k wc. finally. i wrote this with only one eye open so please don't mind the inconsistencies, i'm trying my best to tie any loose ends before we reach the ending. if the writing feels rushed, itā€™s bcos iā€™m just ready to wrap up this series šŸ˜­
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series masterlistĀ ->Ā episode thirteen
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You thought everything that had happened last night was just a dream.Ā 
Because you had gotten used to the constant disappointments and vicissitudes of your life, sharing such domestic bliss with the person you loved had started to feel far-fetched for you. It had become an unachievable fantasy, a colorful delusion created by your mind to conceal the actual darkness of pain that surrounded it.Ā 
But as you opened your eyes that morning, the familiar warmth of a sleeping Satoruā€™s embrace was the reality you never saw coming. The steady rise and fall of his chest, the comfort of his arms around you, it all felt surrealā€”like a fragile dream teetering on the edge of shattering. You wondered if it would be okay to stay here for now. To forget about the rest of the damn world and remain in his arms, staring at his beautiful saintly face, listening to his slow and steady heartbeat.
When Satoru stirred from his sleep, you knew your daydream was over. But he was pulling you dangerously close with arms wrapped around your frame and his lips pressed against your forehead. He was only half-awake, it seemed. His long white lashes reminded you of Sachiroā€™s as you watched him mumble incoherent words from his sleep, something along the lines of, ā€˜Iā€™m sorryā€™ and ā€˜Akemiā€™.Ā 
That was your cue to pull yourself away from him. With guilt now coursing through your body, you sat up from bed and covered your naked body with the duvet. Akemi. You had completely abandoned the thought of Akemi last night, and now you were here in bed with ā€˜supposedlyā€™ her man. As much as your heart was in bliss from last nightā€™s events, the dark and cold reality was that you slept with a man who wasnā€™t yours. It was a principle you told yourself you would never cross, but everything concerning Satoru Gojou seemed to be bringing you to that.Ā 
ā€œSatoru, hey.ā€ Your voice almost came out as a plea as you shook his arm, your guilt eating at you with every minute that passed. ā€œWake up.ā€Ā 
His eyelashes fluttered as he struggled to open his eyes, blinded by the sunlight that gleamed through the window as he stretched his arms and looked at you. ā€œY/N?ā€ he softly whispered, a hand tenderly placed on your back as he scooted closer. ā€œWhatā€™s wrong?ā€Ā 
Slight disbelief blanketed your gaze. ā€œYou think this isnā€™t wrong?ā€Ā 
Satoru let out a sigh of exasperation, pulling his head back, and covering his eyes with a hand as if last nightā€™s events played through his mind scene to scene. He was obviously caught in a mindwreck thinking about the girl he had just cheated on. ā€œIt shouldnā€™t be,ā€ he mumbled, ā€œBut it feels like it.ā€
ā€œSo you do regret it,ā€ you laughed at your own words, internally in pain.Ā 
ā€œI didnā€™t say that.ā€ He finally pulled himself back up, sitting as he pulled you towards him. ā€œY/N, if we really thought last night was wrong, we would have stopped after the first time.ā€ He shook his head at the irony. ā€œLook, itā€™s on me, alright? I put you in this situation.ā€Ā 
ā€œAnd I allowed it,ā€ you argued, ā€œI allowed it, Satoru. It makes me feel dirty. I feel like, like Iā€™m wrecking someone elseā€™s home. Itā€™s not me.ā€Ā 
Satoru held his breath, a look of hesitation dawning on his face as he realized that this wasnā€™t just a dream of his. It was pure and raw reality that he had made a mistake that he could never undo. While thinking it through, he rubbed his eyes and sat up, leaning against the headboard as he assessed the situation. Then, he looked at you, his expression softening as he spoke, ā€œNo, not your fault. Itā€™s just complicated,ā€ he insisted, ā€œYou didnā€™t do anything wrong. Iā€™m the one who owes ā€˜Kemi an apology.ā€Ā 
Each time you heard her nickname from him was a punch to your gut. And each silent cuss that left his lips was an arrow to your heart. So you put it on yourself to accept his reaction. ā€œItā€™s okay. You can be honest and say last night was a mistake.ā€
ā€œNo, no, no. I didnā€™t say that,ā€ he replied quickly, reaching out to take your hand.Ā 
But you already stood up from the bed, clutching the duvet around your body like a shield against the encroaching chill. Your throat felt tight, and tears threatened to spill, but you fought to keep them at bay. Satoruā€™s gaze followed you with an expression of helplessness, as if he was struggling to bridge the gap between his rights and wrongs.
As you turned to face him, a knot of frustration and heartache tangled within you. ā€œSo, what now?ā€ you asked, trying your hardest to keep your composure. ā€œHow are we gonna fix this, Satoru? How?ā€
Before he could answer, the door to the cabin suddenly burst open, and Akemi stood in the doorway with her eyes wide with shock and fury. The confrontation followed as soon as she caught you in a compromising position with Satoru, and the words she uttered next were ones you least expected from her.Ā 
ā€œYouā€™re a hypocrite! Youā€™ve become the person you despised the most when you were married.ā€Ā 
ā€œYouā€™re no better than Sera! And thatā€™s why youā€™re miserable, and youā€™ll forever be miserable! If this is your way of getting back at me..ā€Ā 
ā€œThen jokes on you, because Satoru will never be faithful to you. Heā€™ll keep cheating on you, just like he did now with me! You two belong in that cycle!ā€
You felt like an outsider in your own heartbreak, the confrontation intensifying as you tried to process the bitter truth in silence. All you could do was stand there and cry. Even Satoruā€™s attempts to placate Akemi were futile as her anger only seemed to grow. The more her eyes danced back and forth between you and her lover, the more she wanted to destroy everything in her path.
Satoruā€™s face was indiscernible from where you stood. ā€œAkemi, please, just listenā€”ā€
Akemi, however, was already turning on her heel and storming back into her cabin while eliciting loud, muffled sobs. Your chest tightened with sorrow and shame. Complete, utter shame of doing this to another woman. How could you even correct a situation like this? How could you pick yourself back up after you just trampled on another womanā€™s feelings because of your actions?
Satoru, like you, hesitated on his next move, his eyes meeting yours with a look of anguish. ā€œI need to talk to her, Y/N. Iā€™ll be back.ā€
Without waiting for your response, he already bolted after her, leaving you alone in a quiet, pathetic state. The door slammed behind him, the sound reverberating through the cabin like thunder in a heavy storm.
You didnā€™t know what to do, didnā€™t know how to face everyone, didnā€™t have the guts to even talk to Shoko and Suguru who now both have to deal with such scandals. You were too ashamed of yourself, as if your femininity had been stripped off its rights after you slept with the man you swore you would never get back with.Ā 
ā€œI didnā€™t mean it,ā€ you could only silently whisper your laments, pacing around your cabin while swallowing the weakness that tried to escape. ā€œI hate this.ā€Ā 
The minutes dragged on, and each second stretched into an eternity as you waited for Satoruā€™s return. For now, you sat down heavily on the edge of the bed, wondering what excuse he was telling Akemi, and what actions he would do to try and calm her down. Did he kiss her, perhaps? Did he cup her face and tell her that you were nothing but a mistake? What was taking him so long? Or were they doing things to try and erase the same deeds you two did last night?Ā 
The cacophony of voices and commotion from outside the cabin grew louder, and your curiosity led you to open your door, meeting the eyes of one of the hotel staff who sent you a look full of judgment.Ā 
ā€œWhereā€™sā€¦ā€ you hesitated if she was the right person to ask, ā€œWhereā€™s Satoru? Would you know?ā€Ā 
ā€œOh, maā€™am. He already left the hotel half an hour agoā€¦ with Miss Akemi.ā€Ā 
Her answer hit you hard like a truck on a highway. And your heart dropped as you realized who became The Fool in these deck of cards. Satoru had not only run off after Akemi, but had also left you behind without a word.Ā 
The room felt colder now, the once-intimate sanctuary you shared with your ex-husband now a prison of your own grief. Even the familiar warmth of the bed seemed like a distant memory as you approached it, your body trembling as you thought of how you were treated like a dirty rag, thrown away after being used over and over again.Ā 
With a soft, choked sob, you collapsed onto the bed, the duvet still a tangled mess from earlier. And your emotions, so tightly restrained, finally broke free. You pulled the blanket around you as if it could shield you from the crushing pain. The betrayal, the sense of being discarded for anotherā€”it all converged into a torrent of anguish. All you could do was cling to the duvet as if it were the only anchor in a stormy sea.Ā 
ā€”ā€”
Returning home didnā€™t make the situation any better.Ā 
Although you tried to tell yourself that you shouldnā€™t be waiting on Satoru to contact you, you still found yourself checking your phone multiple times a day. Each second that passed without hearing from him was another stab to your heart. But it shouldnā€™t feel like that. It shouldnā€™t, not when Satoru clearly made his choice of choosing yet another woman over you.Ā 
Of course, you knew what you did was wrong. In everyoneā€™s eyes, sleeping with someone elseā€™s man was unforgivable. There was no excuse, no way to justify your actions. Even if some people might side with you, saying you owed no one loyalty, it didnā€™t change how you felt about the whole situation. And that was because you remembered all too well the pain of being cheated on, and letting another woman endure the same heartbreak and betrayal was a weight on your conscience that you couldnā€™t ignore.
Sighing, you turned to the left side of the bed and saw Sachiro sleeping peacefully, clutching his favorite starfish plushie in his tiny arms. The thought of losing your son was unbearable, especially when he was your only source of calm amid the chaos that surrounded you. Caring for him was your solace, and his innocent presence served as a band-aid for your wounded heart. The most heart-wrenching part of this was knowing you couldnā€™t even repay him for the stability he brought you. Sachiro deserved a complete family to enrich his life, yet youā€”as his own biological motherā€”were unable to give him that.Ā 
ā€œSleep tight, Sachi.ā€ You lightly stroked his white hair before planting a soft kiss on his cheek.Ā ā€œDonā€™t let the bed bugs bite.ā€
The past few weeks had been a blur of emotions, work, and parentingā€”with each day blending into the next like a tornado of dull colors. You still hadnā€™t heard from Satoru, but the days of waiting and checking your phone for any notification from him did gradually stop. The only thing that didnā€™t stop replaying in your head like a broken record was the cabin incident, the very night that drew all these overthinking in your mind and in your heart.Ā 
Returning to work did provide some distraction, but it didnā€™t take away the sting. It also didnā€™t help that your staff noticed the change in your demeanor, and how distracted you often were during your meetings and warehouse visits. Even Nobara was worried about how absentminded you had become, but you brushed off all their concerns with a forced smile. After all, staying at home would do you worse than being at work.Ā 
Now, you were back in your office, and the soft knock on the door cut you off from your trance. It was Yuki peeking through the small opening on your door, her usual professional demeanor softened by a concerned expression. ā€œHey, Y/N. Do you have a minute?ā€ she asked, stepping inside and closing the door behind her with a quiet click.Ā 
You nodded, trying to muster a smile. ā€œSure, Yuki. Whatā€™s up?ā€
ā€œI wanted to check in on you,ā€ she began, taking a seat opposite your desk, ā€œIf you need to extend your vacation, please, by all means, go ahead. Itā€™s off-season, anyway. Iā€™ll take care of everything here while youā€™re focusing on yourself.ā€
That wasnā€™t really a good idea. And you shouldnā€™t be slacking off work when this very fashion house you establish used to be your passion, not your job. Yet here you were, losing all the inspiration to even run a business. ā€œI donā€™t know if I have the energy for anything else right now.ā€
ā€œWell, if youā€™re too worried about leaving work,ā€ Yuki continued, her tone shifting to a more business-like note, ā€œthe progress weā€™ve made with Hearte is looking really promising. The new collection is getting great feedback, and our upcoming showcase is shaping up well. Weā€™re on track for a strong quarter.ā€
ā€œAll because of you, Yuki.ā€ A spark of gratitude appeared on your face. ā€œThanks for the update. Itā€™s good to know things are moving in the right direction.ā€
She then stood up and gave you a reassuring smile. ā€œIā€™m here if you need anything, Y/N. But seriously, take some time for yourself. You deserve it.ā€
On that same evening, you came home to your fatherā€™s mansion, and the first thing that greeted you when you entered the foyer was Gen sitting by the living room. And needless to say, her expression was a mix of concern and frustration as if she had been waiting for you to return. You werenā€™t really in the mood to have some back-and-forths with her, but you also didnā€™t like how she dropped her phone on the table and crossed her arms, her eyes narrowing at you like she was a mother who could scold you like a child.
ā€œIā€™m not even gonna say anything at this point, but did you really do it with him?ā€ Genā€™s voice was low, but the disappointment was palpable. You could feel it from a few meters away.Ā 
ā€œWhat are you talking about?ā€ you bit back, your already-terrible mood swings shifting into an unhealthy direction.Ā 
Gen responded by pointing at her phone, gesturing for you to take a look at whateverā€™s on it. Reluctantly, you grabbed the device, and as you were scrolling through the screen, you stumbled upon a blind item circulating on social media. The words were vague but pointed, hinting at a scandalous encounter between two ex-spouses, both of whom were well-known figures. Great. Your heart stopped as you realized that the article was very much about you and Gojou.Ā 
The online comments were brutal, not like you werenā€™t used to anonymous harassment anyway, but these ones were full of speculating and judging without knowing the full story. Everyone also seemed to be siding with ā€œMs. Aā€ instead of you as though the person behind the article was clearly trying to paint you as the villain. It was written for the purpose of destroying your reputation rather than any regular exposĆ©, and whoever wrote it was definitely someone who disliked you.Ā 
Your shoulders slumped as you scrolled through hate comment after hate comment, a seemingly endless vitriol for someone they didnā€™t even know, and avoided your sisterā€™s gaze knowing full well that seeing her expression would only make you feel worse.Ā 
ā€œIs it true?ā€ your sister asked like there was even an ounce of chance that it was simply a rumor. Unfortunately, it was anything but.Ā 
Sliding her phone back on the coffee table, you drew in a deep breath. ā€œI canā€™t undo it, Gen. It happened.ā€Ā 
ā€œSo, you did sleep with him? Am I hearing this right?ā€ Gen sighed, rubbing her temples. ā€œDo you have any idea what this could do to you? To Sachiro? People are ruthless, and now this blind item is all over the place and theyā€™re targeting you like a punching bag!ā€
Your mouth felt heavy, as if it was weighed down by an invisible burden, making it difficult to form words or speak. And before you could think of a response, Ian became your temporary savior as he walked in with a calm but serious mien. ā€œIā€™ve seen the post,ā€ he said, holding up his phone. ā€œItā€™s clearly defamatory, and we can take legal action. Iā€™ll handle it.ā€
Even though Ian was a man of remarkable phlegm, you remained abashed, knowing that everyoneā€™s feasting at the juicy rumor that you slept with your ex-husband. Yet, the only thing you could do was to put on a front. To save face. To act like someone youā€™re not. ā€œThank you, Ian. Iā€™d appreciate that.ā€
Anticipating another lecture from Gen about Satoru, you began retreating to your room with your footsteps bouncing desperately on the grand staircase. This conversation was done. You just werenā€™t there to hear it anymore. However, as you climbed the stairs with a vacant mind, you could still hear your sister calling out to you.
ā€œY/N!ā€ she called, her voice now tinged with concern. ā€œIā€™m not going to give you a hard time. We can sort this issue out. Maturely.ā€
ā€œIā€™m good.ā€ Sorry, Gen. It was the anxious-avoidant side of you speaking. You didnā€™t want to discuss such a sensitive situation to anyone, even with your sister, because you werenā€™t ready to face all the negativity it would put you through. You were already dealing with enough, and going through yet another emotional turmoil might actually put you to your deathbed at this point.Ā 
So, for now, isolating yourself from the world was the best choice.Ā 
And as soon as you entered your room, you saw Sachiroā€™s nanny tucking him into bed. All your worries and self-destructive thoughts vanished in an instant the moment you looked at your son. It was like the heavens gave you your personal angel, a cute little cherub who brought nothing but light and happiness to your life. He was your sunshine, your shooting star, your bundle of joy. Nothing in this world could erase the pessimist in you than little Sachiro.Ā 
ā€œI got it from here.ā€ You thanked the nanny and asked her to close the door before quickly joining your son in bed, wrapping him in a warm, comforting hugā€”more for your own comfort than his.
ā€œMama?ā€ he asked, his voice unusually raspy, and his chest rising and falling heavily. ā€œI mwiss you, mama!ā€
You pressed your lips onto his forehead. ā€œI miss you too, my baby. How was daycare today?ā€
He seemed to struggle to speak too, but Sachiro still did his best to recount his day while he was trying to catch air in between his sentences. ā€œTeacher ask Sachi to go home, mama. Sachi is tired.ā€
ā€œBaby, are you okay? Are you sick?ā€ Now, your motherly instincts kicked in immediately. You could tell something was wrong, so you reached for a thermometer from the bedside drawer to check his temperature, and listened to his breathing at the same time. ā€œWhat happened to Sachi? Do you want Mommy to take you to the hospital?ā€
Sachiro shook his head and gave you a sleepy smile. ā€œNo, mama. Sachi is just sweepy.ā€
When the thermometer beeped, you were relieved to see that his temperature was normal. ā€œAre you having trouble breathing, my sweetheart?ā€ You looked into his droopy eyes and gently placed your hand on his chest.Ā 
Once again, Sachiro shook his head. Maybe you were just overthinking. He often ran around the house or played in the bathtub before bed, which could explain why he seemed out of breath. It wasnā€™t the first time it happened.Ā 
ā€œOkay, Sachi. Go to sleep now. Close your eyes, baby.ā€
ā€œNight night, mama.ā€
For now, you turned off the night lamp, and headed to the bathroom in silent and careful steps. It was quiet enough indeed, but in your head was an awful noise you couldnā€™t escape. And stepping into the shower only increased the warfare in your mind, as it immediately brought images of Satoru and Akemi back in the cabin, the harsh comments from the article, and the lack of contact from your ex-husband which all overwhelmed you at once. By now, he would have already seen that article. Nanami or Miwa might have already alerted him about it. But the fact that he said nothing, the fact that he let the public scrutinize you, destroy you with such vile, hurtful words behind their screens brought you a kind of pain that you wouldnā€™t wish upon anyone else.Ā 
Because if it was Akemi in that position, he would have defended her in a heartbeat.Ā 
So in your silence, under the cascading water of the shower, you let the tears flowā€”its warmth distinguishable compared to the cold droplets falling on you. If only you had successfully drowned yourself that night at the lake. If only Satoru didnā€™t pull you back in, none of this would have happened.Ā 
That moment was deeply poignant to you, and you saw him in a new light you thought you would never see again because of the darkness of your past. Yet, with the events that followed your special moment, memories eventually turned into spite. Your sweet exchange twisted into something bitter. Looking back at that time when he kissed you at the lake now made you feel nauseous and hollow inside, with bile forming on your throat and threatening to be retched.Ā 
The most gut-wrenching part about this was the fact that there wasnā€™t anyone left who could rescue you from this abyss of heartache anymore.Ā 
ā€”ā€”
There had been a sense of detachment in your emotions in the following days that passed, almost as though they belonged to a stranger inhabiting your body. Toji, the only person who comforted you at times like these, was no longer by your side to fulfill the warmth you once desperately sought, and now you were alone to face this cruel, mind-numbing battle all by yourself. It was you against the world. You against the entire populace inhabiting this living hell. And with that many enemies against one, how could you win?Ā 
It was quite funny, actually, that your humor took a surprising turn when you thought of how Sera must have felt when it was revealed to the public that she was Satoruā€™s mistress. The irony didnā€™t even stop at your thoughts alone, it manifested itself outside Hearteā€™s headquarters, wearing a pink puffer jacket and a white prairie skirt.Ā 
ā€œSera?ā€ you blurted out her name in wonder, nonplussed as you got out of the car to approach her.
ā€œHey, Y/N.ā€ She offered a casual smile while carrying an air of sophistication around her. That wasnā€™t the only thing that changed about Sera. Her hair was also shorter than the last you saw her, her face now sporting a more natural makeup, and her outfit a more modest yet classy choice. It was no longer the Sera who tried hard to fit in amongst the upper echelon of society, but a Sera who seemed to be satisfied at her current standing in life.Ā 
What an awkward encounter. Was her presence your hypocritical reminder for sleeping with Satoru behind Akemiā€™s back?Ā 
ā€œWhat are you doing here?ā€ you asked.Ā 
And she answered with, ā€œI read about what happened. You know, the thing on the internet.ā€ She took a moment to pause, probably trying to choose the right words to say to her previous adversary. Because in a way, you two werenā€™t exactly friends. And you were no longer rivals either. Satoru was the only common denominator here, and Sera proved her exact sentiments about him by saying, ā€œI just wanted to let you know that I understand your side. Itā€™s a tough situation.ā€
You looked at her, searching for any hint of insincerity, but found none. ā€œYou were once on my spot,ā€ you pointed out and gauged whether or not she would take the bait. For all you know, she could be putting on an act. ā€œIā€™m assuming youā€™re here to rub it in my face how much of a hypocrite I am.ā€Ā 
ā€œNo, thatā€™s not it.ā€ Sera was vehemently denying any malice on her intentions, and was instead trying to show you the sympathy of a woman who was once caught in the same predicament. ā€œLook, I know itā€™s weird that Iā€™m here out of all people. But the truth is, I just had to let you know that someoneā€™s on your side. Iā€™ve met the girl, okay? Thatā€¦ whoever she is. I donā€™t remember her name, and I hate having to pit two women against each other, but Iā€™m telling you itā€™s about time you cut Satoru off your life. Completely. She doesnā€™t look like someone whoā€™d easily let go. Youā€™re just gonna suffer, Y/N.ā€Ā 
Perhaps three years was too far back in your life and that tables could turn in a direction that you didnā€™t expect, as you could recall fragments of memories from when your only dilemma was dealing with Satoru and Sera in your marriage. She used to be besotted with your ex-husband back then. But now, it wasnā€™t until you heard the way she spoke about him that you realized she must be harboring a grudge deeper than you had imagined. After all, he did ruin her life in ways you couldnā€™t imagine. And her advice, though unsolicited, made sense. Because you could understand where she was going with it. You could see the true intentions clearly conveyed by her face.
The only problem here was that you didnā€™t have it in your heart to agree with her. You were too much of an empathic person to be taking sides, even if the supposed villain in this painting was the ex-husband who, time and time again, hurt you. Your heart stubbornly cared for Satoru deep down, and your wifely instinct of defending him no matter how poorly he acted had always been there. No one could hate Satoru more than you did, that was true, but you also werenā€™t very accepting of hearing others describe him as this ruthless, cheating bastard.Ā 
That was the reason why talking to Gen had eventually exhausted you. Because no one knew the real Satoru Gojou behind his facade of an irresponsible and reckless husband.Ā 
ā€œNow that youā€™re hereā€¦ā€ The idea to redirect the conversation to another topic struck you, unwilling to engage in a conversation that pushed Satoru in a bad light. ā€œWould you be interested in being a model for our upcoming campaign? Weā€™re launching a new collection, and I think youā€™d be perfect.ā€
Seraā€™s eyes were an amalgam of confusion and surprise. ā€œUh, I meanā€¦ Iā€™d love to, but why so sudden?ā€Ā 
ā€œYou have the face for it.ā€ You shrugged, but still sent a smile her way. ā€œAre you working right now? If not, this could open doors for you to be discovered by modeling agencies. Iā€™m closely tied with them since I work in the fashion industry, so I can do a few calls if you want.ā€Ā 
ā€œHold on, Iā€™mā€”ā€ Sera touched her head, laughing as if she were dreaming this conversation. ā€œY/N, youā€™re doing too much here. I mean, Iā€™d obviously love that, but wouldnā€™t it be awkward? People know me as your ex-husbandā€™s mistress, and if they recognize me in Hearte ads, Iā€™m sure as hell those fuck ass netizens wonā€™t stop talking about it.ā€
She had a point, a very good point, but then again, your suggestion was only brought up because you had to change the topic. ā€œWell, itā€™s just an offer to consider in the future.ā€Ā 
ā€œAnd I appreciate you always extending a hand to help me even if I did you wrong in the past,ā€ she said, feelings of shame lacing her voice. ā€œI havenā€™t forgotten about what you did for my brother, thatā€™s why Iā€™m here. Iā€™m not your enemy anymore, Y/N.ā€
Just then, the roaring engine of a classic red Ferrari pulled up to the curb, interrupting the unexpected conversation you were having with your ex-husbandā€™s former mistress. The window rolled down to reveal a pink-haired man whom you recognized as Ryomen Sukuna, an up and coming tech mogul, that Toji had mentioned about many times before. His eyes were only on one woman alone, and it wasnā€™t you. ā€œReady to go, babe?ā€
Honestly, good for Sera. No wonder her aura had become different. They seemed to be in a stable committed relationship, something that you could only ever dream about. If karma was truly real, this was the perfect example for it.Ā 
In the back seat, you spotted a younger boy who looked exactly like Sukuna and, surprisingly, Megumi, the son of your ex-fiancĆ©. Really? How many more people were you going to ā€˜coincidentallyā€™ run into today?Ā 
ā€œHello, miss!ā€ the other boy called out cheerfully, while Megumi offered a polite nod. You replied with a wave, feeling a small sense of normalcy in their innocent presence.
ā€œI gotta get going, Y/N,ā€ excused Sera, gesturing a civil goodbye.Ā 
But as she moved to get into the car, your phone buzzed in your pocket. A single glance at the screen made your heart drop. It was a call from the hospital.
ā€œHello?ā€ you answered almost immediately, pressing the phone on your ears with a tight push.
ā€œMs. Y/N, this is the hospital. Your son, Sachiro Gojou, is in the ICU. We need you to come as soon as possible.ā€
Your stomach contracted into a tight ball as you stood rigid with terror. Then and there, the world seemed to tilt on its axis. ā€œWh-What do you mean heā€™s in the hospital?!ā€ you managed to shout, swept by horripilation from the sudden news. ā€œWhat happened to my son?! Whatā€™sā€”!ā€Ā 
Seraā€™s concerned gaze met yours as you desperately yelled into the phone, hyperventilating. Your trembling hand was threatening to drop the phone. ā€œY/N, is everything okay?ā€
ā€œMy sonā€¦ Iā€¦ heā€¦,ā€ you stammered, your voice shaky with fear and urgency. Your muscles locked in a momentary paralysis, eyes wide with astonishment, and surprise rendering you immobile. The thought of Sachiro in a critical state was about to make you faint, with the last bits of images you saw that afternoon were of Sera and her boyfriend rushing to catch you from completely falling to the ground.Ā 
ā€”ā€”
Megumi didnā€™t know how to deliver the bad news.Ā 
He came home after Yuujiā€™s brother rushed you to the hospital, shocked by everything that happened in a span of a single day. His mind was aching from all the thinking he was doing; praying that little Sachiro will be fine, hoping that you would stay strong throughout, and lastly, wondering how he would break it to his dad that something terrible had happened.Ā 
His father wasnā€™t exactly the greatest man to tread this Earth, especially not after the drunken words he had ā€˜mistakenlyā€™ uttered to you that night in Miami that resulted in your separation. Yes, Megumi knew every word and detail. His father told him everything just as a sober man would. Did you really think that the Toji Zenā€™in you knew would sputter that utter nonsense to you? That you had an empty soul. That he couldnā€™t be with someone like you. That you would forever be a placeholder to Megumiā€™s mother. Bullshit. None of those were true. His father told him that the reason he had to say those words, as piercing and trenchant as they may be, was because it was the only way he could free you from being caged in a relationship your heart didnā€™t genuinely want.Ā 
It was Tojiā€™s last resort to hurt you with his words, hoping that you would wake up from your false fantasy and finally have a reason to leave a relationship with a man that wasnā€™t Satoru Gojou. If Megumiā€™s father wasnā€™t at the top of the list of Forbesā€™ richest men in Japan, he would have felt a great deal of inferiority complex over a younger man like Gojou. Not because of his looks and his riches, but because he had you. No matter what Satoru did, no matter how many times he hurt you, he was and would always be that man you wanted to be with.Ā 
Sighing, Megumiā€™s first task upon coming home was to check on his fatherā€™s room, only to find the dark room void of its owner. When he made his way down the grand staircase, he met an ill-spirited Naoya who was ranting to Mai about Sera flaunting Sukuna in front of his face. Megumiā€™s sigh was then followed by another. The drama in this house was relentless. He felt like he was exhaling endlessly, like a malfunctioning appliance.Ā 
ā€œWhereā€™s dad?ā€ asked Megumi, directing her question to a more rational Maki.Ā 
The tall, green-haired girl gave him a knowing shrug. ā€œYou already know,ā€ she said, ā€œDrowning himself in alcohol down at the bar.ā€Ā 
As always.Ā 
Megumi jogged around the estate to eventually find his father at one of the wet bars near his home office. He was there, seated on a stool, his head drooping low with a glass of premium scotch in hand. How many glasses heā€™d had, Megumi could only hope the numbers weren't that high. But upon approaching his father, his presence was barely acknowledged as he sat on the stool next to him, suggesting that the grown man might be more inebriated than his son had expected.
ā€œDad,ā€ spoke the Zenā€™in heir, ā€œDad, you good?ā€Ā 
Toji lifted his head up, three sheets to the wind, as a smile crept up on his scarred lips. ā€œSon.ā€Ā 
ā€œLet me take that.ā€ Megumi grabbed a hold of the glass of scotch, sliding the strong liquor away from his father. ā€œThereā€™s something I ought to tell you.ā€Ā 
Toji stayed nonchalant, sitting upright and tapping his fingers on the counter. ā€œWhatā€™s it about this time?ā€ he asked. ā€œIā€™ve told you, I canā€™t stop the elders from arranging your marriage unless youā€™re honest with me about someone you like. I know you have someone in mind, but youā€™re not saying who. Are you just shy?ā€
Megumi gave his father a look of exasperation. Heā€™s rambling, he thought, frustrated with his fatherā€™s inebriated chattering. ā€œItā€™s not about that. Itā€™s about Y/N-san.ā€
The mention of your name was the only thing that made Toji's demeanor shift to one of genuine concern. ā€œWhat happened?ā€
ā€œSachiā€™s in a critical condition,ā€ the younger Zenā€™in went straight to the point, ā€œY/N-san went manic over it and fainted before we could get her to the hospital.ā€
Toji was quick to grab his coat and car keys, as if all the alcohol in his system had immediately evaporated. But before he could leave, Megumi caught his fatherā€™s arm and pulled him back.Ā 
ā€œWhat?ā€ said Toji, concern and urgency blanketing his gaze. ā€œI need to be with her.ā€Ā 
ā€œDo you really need to?ā€ Megumi countered. ā€œDad, I know itā€™s not right for me to stop you in this crucial situation, but are you gonna do this every time sheā€™s in trouble? Do you plan to do this forever? Do you plan to keep drowning yourself in alcohol thinking about her? We care for her like family, thatā€™s true, but you and her arenā€™t a thing anymore. Your responsibilities in taking care of her should stop, too. You, yourself, said itā€™d be best if she stopped being reliant on you. Now, do yourself a favor and stop trying to be this pathetic superhero.ā€Ā 
The concern etching on Tojisā€™s face softened into a sense of realization, a sense of candidness that only someone as straightforward as his own son could evoke. Megumi had to, not because he didnā€™t care for you anymore, but because he had to ensure he wouldnā€™t lose his father over a relationship that had already ended. Toji was the only real family Megumi had left.Ā 
ā€œStay, dad,ā€ he pleaded, ā€œPlease.ā€
Toji took a deep breath and released it in the same second. ā€œOkay,ā€ he softly said, ruffling his sonā€™s hair. ā€œI wonā€™t leave.ā€Ā 
ā€”ā€”
Why is it that you keep attracting things, places, and people that you disliked the most?Ā 
You hated hospitals, and you had spoken about it enough to make it clear how much you dreaded going to a place where your worst memories had taken root. Yet, the sterile environment seemed to beckon you, dragging you back with a new nightmare each time. It was beyond your worst fears that you would find yourself racing through the halls mere minutes after regaining consciousness, desperately trying to reach where your son was.
Please be okay. Please be okay.Ā 
Frantically, you scanned the corridors, searching for the ICU and hoping that what you had just heard was nothing more than a cruel illusion, that this was all just a nightmare. You werenā€™t a deeply devout person, but you did send prayers to every saint you could think of, hoping that Sachiroā€™s current state wasnā€™t in the median between life and death.Ā 
Because if you lost your son, then there was no point in living anymore. This life wouldnā€™t be worth enduring.Ā 
ā€œY/N!ā€
You werenā€™t the first one to arrive outside the pediatric ICU, with Gen and your father already being there moments before you came. You were struggling to breathe by the time you reached them, feeling your heart race with a thunderous beat. ā€œGenā€¦ Dad, what h-happened to him?ā€ You couldnā€™t stop the weakness in your voice. ā€œTell me heā€™s fine, please. Please. My baby. If anything h-happens to him, Iā€™m g-gonna die, Gen! I c-canā€™t h-have that!ā€
Gen quickly enveloped you in a tight embrace, trying to offer any form of comfort she could. ā€œIā€™m so sorry, Y/N. Dad and I are just as shocked.ā€ She held you closer, her voice trembling as she, too, was just as anxious as you. ā€œSachi refused to eat and complained about having a hard time breathing. He was so pale and his lips were blue. We knew we had to rush him to the hospital immediately.ā€
ā€œOh my God.ā€ Your hand flew to your mouth, trying to stifle the uncontrollable cries that were escaping. The news of Sachiro developing cyanosis shattered your heart, and the crushing reality that you werenā€™t there to take care of him tore you apart. ā€œMy baby, no. No, no. H-Heā€”ā€
ā€œY/N!ā€Ā 
Out of breath and also visibly shaken was the father of your son, Satoru, who came running to your side the moment his eyes landed on you. Behind him was his mother, clutching a rosary in her hand as both of them were seemingly shell-shocked in the same magnitude as you and your family were. Everyone cared for Sachiroā€™s well-being, everyone prayed for his safety, and the thought of losing an angel like your son was a soul-crushing thought that sent you slipping into a chasm of suffering.Ā Ā 
ā€œWh-What happened to Sachi?ā€ Satoru asked in desperation, his question raised to everyone in the vicinityā€”you, your family, the nurses. But no one could give him a decent answer. ā€œPlease, tell me my sonā€™s alright. Tell me.ā€Ā 
You watched him walk in circles, raking his fingers through his hair as if he was seeking anything to hold onto. And you, feeling that magnet that pulled you closer to him, broke away from Genā€™s embrace to look at your sonā€™s father. ā€œSatoruā€¦ā€Ā 
ā€œY/N,ā€ his voice cracked as he met your gaze, ā€œOur son.ā€ He stopped, ready to wrap you in a hugā€”a moment of solace you both desperately needed in this critical time. But just as he pulled you close in a fragile attempt to find comfort together, the door to the ICU swung open, abruptly ending the brief respite.
All of you immediately rushed over to the doctor, the sterile white walls and the distant hum of hospital machinery did nothing to calm the turmoil inside you.Ā 
ā€œDoctor, howā€™s he?ā€Ā 
ā€œHowā€™s my grandson, doc?ā€
ā€œDoc, my son, is he okay?ā€Ā 
ā€œIs he stable, doc?ā€Ā 
ā€œDoctor, howā€™s my son, please?ā€ you asked, your body growing tense to the point of shaking.
The doctor took a deep breath, his expression serious amidst the fusillade of questions thrown at him. ā€œWeā€™re currently running a series of tests on the patient. We suspect Sachiro may have congenital heart disease, specifically a ventricular septal defect with associated pulmonary hypertension.ā€
No, it canā€™t be. Itā€™s not possible! The words hit you like a punch to the gut. You struggled to process the information, your vision blurring with tears and your heart drumming a rapid staccato inside. You didnā€™t need to look at everyone to know that they all, for a moment, looked at you. ā€œHeart disease? Butā€¦ how? I didnā€™t thinkā€”ā€
ā€œCan you explain more, doc? Please.ā€ Gojou was desperate, his bright blue eyes now dull and severely clouded with a brewing storm. It was as if he was keeping himself from crying.
The doctor continued gently, ā€œVSD is a condition where thereā€™s a hole in the heartā€™s ventricular septum. It can lead to pulmonary hypertension, which means the blood pressure in the lungs is elevated. Itā€™s a serious condition, but weā€™re doing everything we can to assess the extent and provide the best treatment.ā€
ā€œN-No, oh God. My baby.ā€ You felt your knees go weak, and you sank down against the wall, with more tears cascading down your cheeks like waterfall. The weight of the diagnosis was crushing, but the hardest part was realizing that this was something you had unknowingly passed on to Sachiro. The heart disease was inherited from you and had now manifested in your beloved son.
Itā€™s my fault. Itā€™s my fault!Ā 
The doctor placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. ā€œWeā€™ll keep you updated as soon as we have more information. Please, try to stay calm, Y/N. Itā€™s not best for your heart to panic right now. Sachiro is in good hands.ā€
You were unable to speak through the sobs that wracked your body. The hospital corridor felt endless, and you couldnā€™t shake the feeling of guilt and helplessness that consumed you. You could feel all eyes on you, judging, harboring hatred, carrying deep-rooted resentment. You were torn apart by the knowledge that the very thing you had feared most was now a reality for your son.
ā€œItā€™sā€¦ Itā€™s my fault,ā€ you sobbed, covering your face with your quivering hands, ā€œThis is all my fault. I gave it to Sachiro, Iā€¦ Iā€™m a terrible mother!ā€Ā 
Gen knelt beside you, her hands gripping your shoulders with a firm yet gentle touch. ā€œY/N, stop it. This is not your fault. You didnā€™t choose this for Sachiro.ā€
Your father, who had been pacing anxiously nearby, joined in. ā€œYour sisterā€™s right. Youā€™re blaming yourself for something beyond your control. Weā€™re all here for you. Weā€™ll figure this out.ā€
But amidst your familial exchange, Satoru stood nearby, frozen and listless. His silence only added to the overwhelming distress. Was he also blaming you for what Sachiro was going through right now? Was he also angry at you for putting his son into this critical situation?Ā 
Suddenly, a familiar voice cut through the commotionā€”voice that was equally harsh and spiteful. It was Satoruā€™s mother, boring her fiery eyes into your skull as she opened her mouth. ā€œThatā€™s right! Youā€™re self-aware, arenā€™t you?ā€ she spat and stood rigidly, arms crossed defensively over her chest. ā€œThis is all your fault. Youā€™re such an irresponsible mother! You canā€™t even take care of my grandson properly, and now youā€™ve passed your disease onto him!ā€
You looked up in shock, seeing Satoruā€™s mother standing there with a disdainful expression. The sting of her words felt like a knife twisting in your heart, because they were true. They were painful, yes, but they were true. And all you could do was lower yourself until you were sitting on your haunches, trying to make yourself as small as possible.Ā 
ā€œExcuse me?!ā€ Gen stood up, her eyes blazing with anger that came from the deepest pits of hell. ā€œYouā€™re unbelievable, Auntie. How dare you speak to my sister like that! You have no right to blame her for this. I hope to God it was you in the ICU right now instead of Sachiro!ā€
ā€œYouā€¦!ā€Ā 
Satoruā€™s mother raised a hand to slap Gen, but your father stepped forward, his face a mix of disbelief and indignation. ā€œThis is despicable. How can you stand here and say such things to someone whoā€™s already suffering? Werenā€™t you friends with my wife once?ā€
Satoru, who had been standing still, suddenly moved with a menacing calm. His face was hard as stone, and his eyes narrowed in anger. What was scarier was him approaching his mother with a threatening stance. ā€œAre you really this pathetic, mother?ā€ Satoru questioned with a cold, cutting tone. ā€œDo you get off on making Y/N suffer? Do you think youā€™ve gotten away with slapping her behind my back? You donā€™t get to blame Y/N for anything. Any fucking thing!ā€
His motherā€™s eyes widened in shock, but she tried to defend herself at the ruthless stance her son was carrying. All of you were stunned at the realization of how Satoru resembled his cruel father at that moment. ā€œB-But Satoru, my sonā€”ā€
ā€œShut up!ā€ Satoru cut her off, his voice harsh and unforgiving, before he threw his cold knuckles against the hard surface of the concrete wall. ā€œI donā€™t want to see your face ever again! Donā€™t consider yourself my mother any longer, you witch. Youā€™ve lost that privilege.ā€
This took a wild turn, and hearing the brutality of Satoruā€™s words was like a thunderclap in the tense atmosphere. His motherā€™s face turned pale, her mouth opening and closing in shock as she struggled to respond.
ā€œGet out of here,ā€ Satoru commanded, his voice uncaring towards her. ā€œLeave, and donā€™t ever come back. Youā€™re nobody to me now.ā€
With that, Satoruā€™s mother turned and fled, stumbling down the corridor as if she was the victim in this situation. However, the tension in the air began to dissipate as soon as she left, leaving you, Satoru, Gen, and your father in a heavy silence. Only your sniffles could be heard.Ā 
Even Gen, who was often hostile around your ex-husband, had remained quiet and composed after she watched him take such drastic measures to keep his mother away.
Everyone was silent. Pure, unbothered silence until Satoruā€™s phone began to buzz loudly, cutting through the stillness of the hallway. For a moment, he closed his eyes, then he fished his phone out of his pocket where you caught a glimpse of the caller ID.Ā 
Akemi.Ā 
ā€”ā€”
The ICU only allowed short visits and one person at a time, so there was no need for everyone to stay the night. You were the parent, you were the one responsible for your sonā€™s situation, so you insisted it was best for your dad and Gen to go home and get some rest. You didnā€™t mind watching over your son for the whole night, because coming home without him was the last thing you would do right now.
My precious angel.
Sachiro lay in the hospital bed, his small chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. The doctors had managed to stabilize him for now, and the sight of his heart monitor showing a stable rhythm was a small comfort amidst the chaos.
Still, you sat by his bedside, mindful of your timed visit as your hands gently held his tiny ones, feeling the warmth of his small fingers. You glanced down at the medical report on your other hand, trying to make sense of the complex terms and figures.
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The words blurred together as your tears fell silently onto the paper. ā€œIā€™m sorry, baby.ā€ He didnā€™t deserve this. Heā€™s just a baby. ā€œMommyā€™s very sorry.ā€
You tried to stay strong, putting on a brave face for your son, but inside, you were falling apart. It was impossible not to blame yourself over this, wishing you could do more than just be present around him. This was the comeuppance of your own actions after you focused on your own emotions for the past few weeks to the point of neglecting your sonā€™s wellbeing. If you had been more present in his life, if you had been more observant, you would have easily noticed the signs. Now, you allowed Satoru to find a flaw in your duty as a mother, and he could cite this very event as evidence to get full custody of him. That is, if he were to ever consider taking your son away from you.Ā 
But in the first place, he should be the last person to do that, because where exactly was he now?Ā 
Your thoughts kept drifting back to the earlier scene, where he excused to answer Akemiā€™s call, and later that night told you he had to leave and ā€œcheck somethingā€ urgently. He promised heā€™d be back before midnight, but where was he?Ā 
Resentment began to fester within you.
You had been very perceptive of Akemiā€™s feelings, apologetic in the way you supposedly betrayed her, but the fact that she was still scrambling for Satoruā€™s attention in the midst of your sonā€™s hospitalization was something you could never forgive her for.Ā 
And as for Sachiroā€™s father, how could he prioritize another woman when his own son was in such a critical state? The confusion of his actions was overwhelming. It felt like a cruel deja vu that, at a time when you needed him the most, he was choosing to be elsewhere. You could accept it if it was a choice between you and another woman, but between his son and her? His behavior was unacceptable, disgusting even, and it only served to deepen your grudge against him.
You clenched your fists, trying to push away the surge of anger that threatened to consume you after seeing that the disparity in his actions felt like both a betrayal and a slap to the face. Your poor son. You stared at Sachiroā€™s peaceful face and stroked his cheek. How could Satoru be so indifferent to his own flesh and blood?
The room was silent except for the soft beeping of the heart monitor and your quiet sobs. The situation was almost too much to bear, and your resentment towards Gojou grew heavier by the second. Each minute felt like a lifetime, and the emptiness left by his absence was a constant reminder that yet again he chose another woman over his own family.
Itā€™s okay. You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. I wonā€™t leave you, Sachi. For Sachiroā€™s sake, you needed to find the strength to carry on, to be the mother he needed in this moment of crisis and never again failing to be there for your only child.Ā 
At exactly 10:30 pm, the nurse came in and told you visiting hours were over. You complied.Ā 
At 11:00 pm, Ian paid you a quick visit and talked to the nurses, perhaps giving them reminders to look after you.Ā 
At 12:00 am, you were alone again. Seated at one of the benches outside the ICUā€”sleepless, starving, and nauseous.Ā 
At 2:00 am, you remained in your seat despite the sterile smell of antiseptic mingling with your own discomfort. The flickering fluorescent lights above did little to help you get some proper sleep. The cold air-conditioning alao made you shiver slightly, hugging your own body to try and give yourself some warmth.Ā 
At 4:00 am, you awakened from the noise of the movements beside you. Realizing you had fallen asleep, you looked up and saw Satoru taking a seat to your left. His coat was draped over his arm, and he offered it to you.
ā€œAre you cold?ā€ he asked, his voice softer than usual, but you could see the bags under his eyes suggesting the sleepless nights heā€™d had for the past few days. ā€œYou can use my coat.ā€
You took the coat, but as you caught a whiff of it, a familiar scent of Akemiā€™s perfume lingered. Rose Prick by Tom Ford. It was a scent youā€™d come to recognize after your years of being her best friend, and it made your stomach turn slightly. Without any hesitation, you handed the coat back to him. ā€œNo, thank you. Iā€™m fine,ā€ you replied, avoiding his gaze. Looking into his eyes was the last thing you would do.Ā 
And you knew Satoru was sighing, but didnā€™t press the issue. ā€œThe nurse mentioned you havenā€™t eaten today.ā€ He pulled out a small bag of assorted fruits, placing it gently on the seat between you. You eyed the offerings, feeling a pang of hunger but also a strange aversion. ā€œI bought some fruit. Is there anything you like?ā€
You took a deep breath and broke the silence with a hint of sarcasm. ā€œYouā€™re really good at this, huh?ā€
ā€œAt what?ā€ was his immediate question, puzzled.
ā€œHitting two birds with one stone.ā€
ā€œY/Nā€¦ā€
ā€œStop trying to take care of me,ā€ you interrupted, your tone sharper than intended. ā€œ I donā€™t need it.ā€
ā€œButā€”ā€
You swallowed the lump in your throat. ā€œYou canā€™t even be here for Sachi. You canā€™t even choose your son. Heā€™s in a life and death situation and weā€™re still only receiving scraps of your attention.ā€ It was the deep-seated grudge spilling out of you. ā€œYouā€™re so good at abandoning people, huh? Even though thatā€™s what you hate the most. Youā€™re so good at disappearing without even a text or call to check on me and our son. After that night at the cabin, you justā€¦ā€ you paused, realizing that you were opening too much of your heart to a man who didnā€™t deserve it. ā€œForget it. Just go home to Akemi. Live a happy life, build a family with her. Forget us. I donā€™t care. Iā€™ll take care of Sachiro myself. Iā€™ve done it for three years!ā€
ā€œY/N, Iā€™m not trying to hurt you. I justā€¦ā€ Satoru fumbled for words, his somber blue eyes bearing the history of your shared heartbreak. It was as though the painful memories of your past were flooding his thoughts, seeking justification as to why he couldnā€™t pick you again this time. ā€œI had to be there for her. Sheā€™sā€¦ā€
You turned away before he could see your expression, because your heart was splintering at the thought of Satoru Gojou shattering it once more. As he always did. There seemed to be no end to this relentless heartbreak, as if any hope of a happy ever after with the man you loved would only return a pain that was a hundred times worse. Perhaps, this was destinyā€™s way of telling you that you and him werenā€™t meant to be. That any wishful thinking of being with Satoru again was only something that you could expect in another universe.
So, in your defense, you had to pull on a facade. A mask that you had to wear in the face of being the target of never-ending despair. ā€œSatoru, I donā€™t want to talk about it,ā€ you said firmly, concealing the raw ache in your voice with a smile. ā€œAnd I donā€™t expect you to choose me every time. Itā€™s okay. Itā€™s happened before.ā€
ā€œCanā€™t you see Iā€™m hurting, too?ā€ he asked, his voice breaking. Though you couldnā€™t see his face, the tremor in his voice revealed his struggle to hold back tears.Ā 
You couldnā€™t understand why he would be hurting with his decision. When faced with two crossroads, he always seemed to pick the path that led away from you. So instead of trying to comprehend his pain, you decided it was time to honor your own. For your sake. For Sachiroā€™s.Ā 
ā€œLetā€™s just forget about that night,ā€ you declared, wiping your eyes as you got up from your seat and prepared to walk away. ā€œFrom this day forward, letā€™s pretend it never happened.ā€
ā€”ā€”
Akemiā€™s apartment was dark when Satoru stepped inside.Ā 
And to be honest, the darkness was a relief. At least, she wouldnā€™t be able to see the lassitude etched on his face, not just from juggling his time between his son and her, but from the constant ache of hurting the person he loved.
Miscommunication is a coupleā€™s greatest enemy, and the persistent disconnect between you two, coupled with the reluctance to clear things up, had worn Satoru down. He wanted to end thisā€”the feeling of helplessness and the torment of seeing the woman he cared for caught in a labyrinth of despair.
The hospital visits to Sachiro alone had been a whirlwind of emotions and responsibilities, and this brief visit to Akemi felt like an unwelcome detour, but one he couldnā€™t avoid. Satoru knew his heart wanted to stay in the hospital with you, to wait for any updates on his son, to hold your hand and care for you, yet here he was, dragging his feet across the carpeted floors to approach Akemi.Ā 
ā€œHey.ā€ She was sitting on the couch, looking frail but alert as if she had been desperately waiting on his arrival. She had recently started treatment for her stage 3 endometrial cancer, and Satoru could see the toll it was taking on her, physically and emotionally. He would be cruel to leave her hanging like this, to neglect her at her worst when she had been there by his side at his. Satoru had an unspoken accountability on her, because it wouldnā€™t be fair for him to just abandon her after she poured all her heart and soul into helping Gojou get back onto his own feet.Ā Ā 
ā€œHey, ā€˜Kemi,ā€ he said, his tone soft but distant. ā€œDid you take your meds today?ā€
Akemi looked up at him, her eyes tired and heavy. ā€œI did. I took them just like the doctor said. Howā€™s Sachiro?ā€
Gojouā€™s expression tightened. ā€œHeā€™s holding steady at the moment.ā€
A heavy silence settled between them before Akemi broke the tension. ā€œIā€™m glad heā€™s stable,ā€ she said, quietly. ā€œAre you okay?ā€
He nodded once, his mind already drifting back to the hospital. ā€œYeah. Listen, I need to head back soon. Nanami and Miwa will be alternating in looking after you from now on. Theyā€™ll make sure youā€™re okay while Iā€™m dealing with Sachiro. I have to focus on my son.ā€
Akemiā€™s frail hand reached out to gently grip his arm, the other held her lower abdomen in pain. ā€œSatoru, please donā€™t go just yet. Canā€™t you stay a little longer?ā€
Nowā€™s not the time to feel guilty. It was either her or Sachiro. Her or his son. Gojou decided to pull his arm away gently, his gaze distant. ā€œSachiro needs me, Akemi. You know that.ā€
Akemiā€™s face fell, but she knew it would be ridiculous to argue over that. ā€œNo, I understand. I get that. I want you to focus on Sachi, too. I just wishā€”ā€ Before she could finish, her voice faltered, and she looked up at him with a hesitant gaze. ā€œSatoru, do you regret that I took you back even if you cheated on me?ā€
The question caught him off guard, and Satoruā€™s blue eyes narrowed as he processed her words. He had been so focused on his responsibilities and the immediate crisis that he hadnā€™t given much thought to their ā€˜relationshipā€™. All he knew was when he showed up at her doorstep back at the cabin, he was only going to try and end things with her. He was only going to clarify the longstanding feelings you and him poured out to each other that night, which was why he ended up sleeping with his ex-wife. But because Akemi suffered at the time, because her pelvic pain worsened to the point of an emergency, he had to hold back and just take care of her in the weeks that passed. He was caged in this situation like a prisoner who was found guilty for the crimes he had committed.
Just be honest, Satoru. Disregard everything else and just be honest. Satoru believed it was about time he stood his ground no matter the consequences. ā€œYou canā€™t take me back if weā€™re not together, ā€˜Kemi,ā€ he breathed out those words, reticent on hurting her with the truth. If she would lash out on him, throw a vase on his head, slam a book on his faceā€”he wouldnā€™t mind. He was ready to accept all the violence he deserved from being an asshole. ā€œYou knew from the start that this, us, was only temporary. It was never supposed to be serious.ā€Ā 
Her expressions turned doleful. ā€œThen, in that case, did you at leastā€¦ā€ Tears welled up in her eyes as she she paused, ā€œDid you at least love me?ā€
ā€œI justā€¦ I never saw it that way, Akemi.ā€ Satoruā€™s honesty would destroy her, but he didnā€™t want to keep on sending out false hopes. He had to be firm, and while he was grateful for everything she did for him, that doesnā€™t mean he owed her his life and loyalty. In the first place, he warned her that he wasnā€™t ready to be in a relationship. And God, he was far from ready to even settle down, yet Akemi constantly hinted at wanting to tie the knot with him. Again and again did she mention the thought of a wedding and a child and her own family.Ā 
Satoru wanted all those things too, but with another person in mind.Ā He was only set on having those things with one woman.
Akemiā€™s face paled upon hearing his answer and the fact that he didnā€™t even bother to explain himself. ā€œI see. I guess I needed to hear that.ā€
Gojou looked at her with a mix of regret and sympathy. ā€œIā€™m sorry. Iā€™m sorry for hurting you like this, I really do.ā€
ā€œItā€™s fine. Donā€™t worry about it.ā€
It definitely wasnā€™t fine, but Satoru had to take her word for it as he got out from the couch and gave her a gentle pat on the head. ā€œI have to go. Nanami will be here soon. Please make sure to follow the treatment plan and take care of yourself.ā€
Akemi nodded, though her gaze remained fixed on the floor, unable to meet his eyes. ā€œAlright. Iā€™ll see him when he gets here.ā€
As Gojou turned to leave, he felt a pang of guilt twisting deep in his gut but pushed it aside. He was a father first before anything else. Sachiro would always be his first and foremost priority amongst everything else.Ā 
ā€”ā€”
After leaving Akemiā€™s place, Satoru was driving his car into the evening air beyond the speed limit. And his mind was racing together with him as he thought of you, your son, and the myriad of emotions he was struggling to manage. He couldnā€™t wait to be home, not literally at his own place, but anywhere with you and his son was his definition of home.Ā 
It would be diabolical for him to run into your arms and yell, ā€˜Iā€™m free! We can be together again!ā€™ No, that would be cruel and disgusting. He respected Akemi just as he respected you. It was himself that he couldnā€™t respect, because he was the one responsible for the mess that he created. And adding Sachiroā€™s critical condition on top of the already festering wounds in your relationship? It truly was the manifestation of karma in his actions.Ā 
His footsteps bounced through the hospital corridors the moment he arrived, each impatient step was ready to see your face and tell you he would never leave you and Sachiro now. But as he neared the pediatric ICU, his eyes darted around, the sight of his ex-wife was nowhere to be found. And instinctively, his heart pounded in his chest, and a drum of panic seemed to warn him of a storm that was about to come. Something was off, and it scared him.Ā 
ā€œNurse,ā€ he called out, his voice edged with urgency as he approached their station. ā€œWhereā€™s my wife? The boyā€™s mother?ā€
The nurse looked up, recognizing the infamous CEOā€™s face. ā€œUh, Mr. Gojou, she was heading to the rooftop, I think.ā€
ā€œWhat?!ā€ he unintentionally yelled at her face, ā€œWhy didnā€™t you guys keep an eye on her?ā€Ā 
ā€œSir, calm down. Sheā€™s probably going to get some fresh air.ā€
A cold chill ran down his spine. You were definitely not there for that.Ā 
Without another word, he sprinted towards the stairs, taking them two at a time instead of waiting at an elevator together with a group of people. He had to get to you as soon and as fast as he could without another second to waste. Although the climb felt endless, his mind racing with fear and dread was the push he needed to finally reach you.Ā 
And upon bursting through the door to the rooftop, he was met with the soft whisper of the evening wind and the heart-stopping sight of you standing perilously close to the edge.
ā€œY/N!ā€ he called out, his voice breaking with desperation. ā€œDonā€™t do this. Please, step back.ā€
You stood motionless, eyes fixed on the distant horizon, the city lights blurring into a kaleidoscope of sorrow. ā€œThe world hates me, Satoru,ā€ you whispered, the mellow tone of your voice carried away by the wind. ā€œIā€™m a burden to everyone, even my own child. I-I justā€¦ I want to end it all.ā€
ā€œNo!ā€ Satoruā€™s heart shattered at your words while he moved closer, his hands outstretched and careful not to startle or provoke you. He was dying to have you in his arms and keep you safe. ā€œY/N, please. Come back. What about Sachi? What about me? We need you. Sachiro needs you. I need you.ā€
What exactly made you go here? How did thoughts of ending yourself suddenly come into fruition? Was there something you discovered that brought you to this ultimatum? Gojou was desperate, utterly desperate, to hear what was running through your mind so that he could at least ease the burden that you were carrying all by yourself. He was once in the position where he wanted to commit too, and he knew the temptation that came with permanently escaping the cruelty of the world in just a single action.Ā 
ā€œY/N, please. Please, Iā€™m begging. Come to me,ā€ he rattled on in a suffocating whisper, the pleading in his voice was heavy, ā€œPlease. I love you. Only you.ā€Ā Ā 
It was when you turned around that Gojouā€™s world collapsed, and the words you said after had shattered his entire universe.Ā 
They were still.Ā 
You.Ā 
And the wind.Ā 
ā€œIā€™m pregnant,ā€ you finally confessed, voice cracking as you looked at the faint tears that fell from Satoruā€™s eyes. ā€œI donā€™t wanna have this baby.ā€Ā 
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rowarn Ā· 1 year ago
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TAKING WHAT YOU NEED (m.)
tags: afab!reader, no prns, a smidgen of hurt/comfort, soft!simon as usual, established relationship
cw: wet&messy, masturbation(reader), multiple orgasms, riding him<3, u pin him down and he lets u, creampie, simons uncut bc i said so, tiny praise, overstimulation
note: i wrote this against my will it was supposed to be simon bein lazy and making u ride him and do the work and it turned into a sickening beast. please enjoy it. MDNI!
; in which ur terribly horny and neglected for simon but hes so busy and tired u have no choice but to take what u need &lt;/3
3.5k words
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he's been so busy lately, almost distant without meaning to. you still get the sweet little bits of affection he always gives; a kiss to your forehead, and soft hand on your back when he passes behind you in the kitchen, your hand wrapped in his while u watch tv late at night, his hand petting your hair as you lay against his chest in bed.
but you want more, you're greedy.
it's been days since he last touched you. you're not used to the dry spells, simon always willing and ready to fuck u stupid into the mattress until u cant keep your eyes open anymore.
ur fingers simply could never compare to his. he's a man who studied your body, spent the better part at the beginning of your relationship playing with you and learning what exactly made you cum the hardest and easiest -- what your favorite spots and positions were. ur fingers tired quickly, leaving you with an orgasm u knew would be better if simon was the one with his fingers buried in your pussy
what did he expect you to do, honestly? when he came out of the shower with his towel low on his hips? his back to you as he rifled through his drawers looking for something comfy to sleep in, his back muscles flexing with the movement? were you just supposed to be able to roll over and sleep, go take a shower and act as if your panties weren't sticking to you from looking at him?
you wanted him so badly that it actually brought tears to your eyes. you didn't care how silly it was; you wanted him so bad it hurt.
"si..." you whimper, unable to stop how your voice wobbled when you spoke.
his head snaps back to look over his shoulder, brown eyes wide in concern. he briskly walked to the edge of the bed where you crawled to, sitting on your knees looking up at him pitifully.
"what is it, love? what's wrong?" his eyebrows were furrowed as he cupped your cheek, thumbing over the soft skin as his eyes analyzed every inch of you for signs of injury -- a little habit he always had.
"wan' you," you whine, placing your hands flat on his chest, moving down over his stomach where his abs flexed under the ticklish touch.
he scoffs, rolling his eyes before batting your hands away, "thought you were actually upset."
he sounds a little miffed, turning his back to you again to pull out the pair of sweats he had been eyeballing. he lets his towel fall and pauses when he hears you actually whine.
he says your name low in his chest, a warning. whether he actually wants you to stop because he's not in the mood or he just doesn't want to get started with it, you don't know. but it makes you pout a little, flopping back in the bed with a huff.
you hear simon shuffling about, getting changed into the sweats before turning off all the lights, save for a little nightlight you keep on beside you until you're ready to sleep -- on the dimmer side so it doesn't bother simon while he sleeps.
he crawls into bed with a sigh, leaning over where you're still pouting into the pillows to kiss your temple.
"i'm just tired, love," he coos, no malice or annoyance to be found in his voice. his hand comes up to rub your back and you fucking whine again, making him pause, "pouting like this is a little pathetic."
he's teasing you, you can hear the huff of a laugh under his voice. tears prick your eyes again and you petulantly push his hands away to sit up. he's leaning back against the headboard, staring straight at you.
"it's not my fault you've been neglecting me!" you whine, crossing your arms over your chest.
he actually throws his head back and laughs, "neglecting you? 'cause i haven't given you dick in a few days?"
"it's been more than a few days!" you spit back. although he's taking your bratty behavior in stride, you're actually a little annoyed.
he rolls his eyes and holds back a yawn, "you'll live. just...use that little vibrator you've got, it'll get the job done."
he goes to roll over and go to sleep but you make a noise that doesn't sound like your usual pouting -- it sounds actually upset. it pauses him in his tracks and he looks at you through the dim lighting.
"it's not just that," you mumble, flopping forward to smush your cheek against his chest, "i wanna have sex because i like being close to you, si...of course it feels amazing but i like being connected with you like that....'cause i love you."
he's still for a moment before his hand finds purchase on your back, softly rubbing against you in slow circles. he hums in his chest and kisses the crown of your head.
"'m sorry, love," he coos, "didn't think about that."
"it's okay..." you mutter before sobering up and sitting up to smile at him, "u get some sleep, i'm gonna go...take a shower."
he watches you crawl out of bed and root through your drawer, pulling out that vibrator he just mentioned and slink into the bathroom. it makes his heart ache a little but he slowly lies back against his pillow. his eyelids grow heavy as he lays there and before he knows it, he falls asleep.
he wakes again when you crawl back into bed, the smell of soap still fresh and wafting off of you. you keep your back to him as you curl into yourself in that cute little way that you do. it makes him drowsily smile to himself before he closes his eyes again.
but he can't fall asleep. you begin shifting and fidgeting almost as soon as he settles, it keeps him awake. he wonders what the problem is but his tongue feels heavy in his mouth.
you roll onto your back and he hears you sigh to yourself. his eyes crack open and he sees you staring at the ceiling. you glance over at him, not seeing the way his eyes are ever so slightly open.
he watches you slowly spread your thighs and your hand slide under the blanket, watches the way your brows furrow as you begin to slowly work at yourself.
his cock twitches in his pants; as tired as he is, no man would be able to sit there like nothing was happening while watching the one he adored touch themself.
he watches you, vaguely hears the wet, sticky noises of you touching yourself. he wonders if you're just working your clit in tiny little circles or if you've maybe stuffed a finger or two inside to get the feeling of being stretched. his cock hardens even further against his thigh and the sleepiness he felt begins to melt away but he can't bring himself to fully open his heavy lids.
after a few minutes, you make a frustrated little huff and pull your hand out from under the blanket, using a tissue on your night table to wipe your fingers off before flopping back into bed. you don't make another move to touch yourself, instead stare into the very dimly lit room in what he can fully understand is frustration. he even hears your sniffle a little bit.
his heart gives a painful little tug. he watches you close your eyes and obviously attempt to fall asleep. his own cock is throbbing by now and he's sure you're uncomfortably wet.
"got a problem, love?" he asks softly, voice thick and heavy with sleep.
he sees you jump and your eyes snap open before you look at him, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. how cute, he thinks.
"si?" you whisper, "did i wake you? i'm sorry..."
he can actually hear the guilt in your voice as you apologize, "all your tossin' and turnin', not a man in the world woulda been able to sleep through it," you look even guiltier and he reaches out to place his hand over yours that's on your stomach above the blanket, "thought you went and took a shower to take care of that problem?"
you look almost defeated and shrug, then a look of embarrassment crosses your face and he feels the need to click his tongue and tell you none of that, but you speak before he can, "couldn't um...you know...finish..."
he's quiet when you say that. he could tell, obviously. the way you pulled your hand out of your panties and nearly cried in frustration. he huffs through his nose in a noise you mistake for annoyance and give him a sheepish, half-hearted smile.
"sorry, si," you mutter, leaning over to kiss his nose, "i'll be still so go back to sleep, 'kay?"
he watches you lean over and flick the switch to your little nightlight, plunging the bedroom into complete darkness at last. he feels you shift one last time and then nothing.
he should simply go to sleep, he needs sleep. he's got a busy day ahead of him, like always. his hard on is starting to flag from watching the sad little display of you so embarrassed and disheartened. he could easily close his eyes and drift off, get his precious z's in.
but he just can't. knowing that you're going to sleep with sticky panties and completely unsatisfied because you can't seem to make yourself cum despite how badly he knows you need it.
he sits up and leans over you, hearing you make a confused little noise before he flicks the dim little light back on. you're staring at him in confusion but he doesn't offer any answers as he grabs your arm and hoists you out of the blanket you'd nestled yourself under. you let him manhandle you until you're sitting on his lap with him laid back in his pillows still.
"let's get this off you, love," he mutters, hands sliding up the t-shirt of his that you wore.
you make another confused noise but let him strip the fabric off of you anyway, "si..? what are you doing?"
"what do you think?" he asks, shoving the blankets away from him and haphazardly tugging the band of his sweats down so his half-hard cock is freed.
"y-you should be sleeping, si, really--" he interrupts you by forcing you to stand on your knees so he can tug your panties down and off.
you're so wet that thereā€™s a mess of stickiness that clings to the fabric, making little strings that break when he pulls them down all the way.
"fuckin' hell, love," he whispers, his cock quickly hardening completely once again against his stomach, "you were plannin' to sleep while you were this fuckin' wet?"
you look sheepish again, "w-what else was i supposed to do..?"
he grits his teeth because he knows you're right; he hadn't exactly done anything except brush you off and tell you to deal with it yourself. it wasn't like he gave you the green light to ask him for help.
"sorry, love," he whispers, cupping the back of your head to tug you down for a kiss, "shouldn't 'ave been such an ass."
"wha-?" you shake your head, "you weren't, si. you were tired and i was just beinā€™ too needy."
he huffs out of his nose and grabs your hips, shifting so you sit directly on top of his heavy cock. your eyes roll back a little at the feeling of his hot length against your sensitive cunt.
"nah, was bein' selfish," he mutters, "knew you wanted it 'nd i chose to sleep. you even told me you just wanted to be close with me and i shrugged it off. i've missed you too, love, you know?"
"really?" you ask softly and his heart gives that painful throb in his chest again. had you doubted him? that didn't sit right with him.
"course..." he whispers, biting his lip. he wasn't used to being vulnerable and open with his feelings, so being put on the spot while telling you how he missed you made an uncomfortable feeling stir in his chest.
quickly understanding this, you shift against his cock, grinding your hips back and forth in smooth, slow motions. it makes his head sink back into the pillow; you're so wet that you slide effortless against him, covering him in a coat of slick juices. your motions also make his foreskin slide along his length as well, making him twitch every time the leaky head is stroked.
"fuckin' hell..." he groans through gritted teeth, "c'mon love, you do the work, yeah?"
you desperately nod your head and stand on your knees, gripping his cock to line him up with your entrance. he stops you for a moment with a hand on your wrist, a little glare in his eyes.
"you need prep?" he asks, a sweet little question that makes your heart melt despite yourself.
simon was a lot to take, thick and long. he always bumped against your back wall before he even fully bottomed out. the stretch was a sting that always made you both pause until it went away lest it hurt too much to continue.
you shake your head, "i-i used the toy and my fingers...earlier..." you remind him.
his grip on your wrist slackens at that and you take the chance to slowly and carefully sink down on him, jaw dropping open at the feeling of being stretched so fully by him after however many days.
you're greedy and needy, not even pausing as you quickly descend and take more and more of him in. it's faster than you usually handle it and he moves quickly to grab your hips and stop you, intent on making you take a second to adjust before taking all of him that you can.
you make a strangled noise akin to a sob in your chest and look at him with angry little tears in your eyes. the sight makes him pause and his cock twitch.
you slap his hands away harshly and continue taking all of him despite his apparent protests. he's taken aback by the little show of aggression.
"shit, love," he growls, brows furrowed, "is that how it is then?"
you nod your head and let your eyes roll back. it wasn't very often that you got to ride him, simon was more of a 'do all the work' type of man but this position definitely allowed you to take more of him than you usually could when he had you folded up into whatever positions he wanted.
once you took him as deep as you could, your hand flew down to your clit and with a few little circles and slow grinds of your hips, you were clamping down around him and cumming with a cute little squeal and a gasp.
he felt you soak him with your cum, his eyes locked onto where he was buried deep inside you. when you pulled up, he could see the creamy ring of cum around the base of him.
his head slammed back against the bed as he gripped your hips, your hands on his flexed forearms for support as you began to fuck yourself on his cock with a vigor he hadn't ever seen from you.
you hadn't ever been this needy before. seeing you fucking yourself completely stupid on his cock, only moans and sobs of his name to be heard besides the underlying squish of your cunt being stretched and stuffed.
"fuck!" he groaned, feeling the way your pussy clutched and pulsed around him as you angled your hips just right to hit that tender little spot that made you gush messily around him.
you once again slap his hands away from your hips. he glares at you, preparing to scold you for being such a brat but then you do something that shocks the words right out of him.
you grab his wrists and pin them beside his head on the pillow, using the grip as leverage to really begin fucking yourself back onto his cock. his jaw falls open, little moans and gasps escaping his throat as he watches you work yourself to another peak.
your tits bounce from the way you fuck yourself back on him and he wishes he could reach up and cup them, pinch and roll your hard nipples just the way you like. but he doesn't want to break this little hold you have on him, pinning him down like you think you're in charge. it's cute, really, the little show you're putting on.
it's clear he's denied you so much this whole time that you've simply snapped and now you're determined to get your fill until you've orgasmed so much that your little brain just melts. and he's more than happy to be there, not even lifting a finger and merely being a nice, hard cock for you to cream all over.
he has to admit, it's alluring to see his sweet little love acting so desperate.
he doesn't know how many orgasms you work out of yourself, but it's enough to have covered his cock and thighs thoroughly in your cum. he doesn't mind. you've always been quite a bit messy when he made you cum. but you've never came this hard and this much before. he's not even sure you're giving yourself a chance to come down from one high before you've worked yourself into another.
he's speechless, content to just lay back and watch the desperate show you've put on for him until your movements finally begin to slow.
you go from bouncing on him and pinning him down to grinding against him and cupping your own tits. your body is covered in a sheen of sweat from the workout and he's sure your thighs are fucking burning by now. you're panting and your eyes are half lidded as you stare down at him.
for the first time in a long time, simon feels...small. you had just fucked yourself better than he ever had using his own cock. the thought of that made him twitch inside you and he sees the corner of your lip twitch up and you smile at him. the heady, frustrated, desperate look in your eyes fades and you look so satisfied. the weight that he hadn't realized had been on your shoulders is gone and you lean down.
he tilts his head up and meets your lips in a kiss. your tits squish against his chest and he finally moves his hands from the position you'd pinned him in earlier and he smooths his palms down the length of your back, making you shudder.
"gonna let me cum now, love?" he asks breathlessly.
when you nod, your whole world flips and you find yourself on your back, simon pins your legs open with a rough grip under your thighs and begins working his hips.
it's clear you're painfully sensitive; your clit is swollen and tender, your whole body twitching when he meanly presses his roughened thumb against it. your hands once again find purchase on your tits and you squeeze and tug at your nipples.
he fucks you at a leisurely pace, listening to the filthy, clicking noises coming from the complete mess that you've made of your cunt. your eyes roll back and he rolls your tender little bud under his thumb until you seize up in one final orgasm that makes you kick your feet out helplessly.
ā€œthere it isā€¦ā€ he coaxes, tossing his head back to moan when you tighten like a vice around him, ā€œso good fā€™me. thatā€™s it, ride it out, little love.ā€
you've no choice but the ride out this final, painful orgasm on his cock as he fucks you through it to his own end. he spills inside you, pumping his hips a few more times, watching his own cum mix with the mess of your own that oozes and drools out of your gooey little cunt.
you flop against the bed when he pulls out, both of you panting and you trembling from the overstimulation.
he flops down onto his side of the bed with a sigh, eyes finally growing heavy once again as his exhaustion catches up with him alarmingly fast.
usually, he would clean you up and fix the mess you both left behind but he just truly can't bring himself to even consider getting out of bed. so he tugs you against him, listening to you whimper when more cum drools out of you from the way you involuntarily clench from the continued aftershocks of your numerous orgasms.
he hums and holds you close, dragging the blanket from the foot of the bed over both of you, kissing your forehead before tucking your head against his chest.
he would deal with the aftermath of the night tomorrow, when you both have clear heads. though, he's sure you're going to be sore. he can't wait to see it, he muses.
property of rowarn; do not modify, repost, or translate.
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reidmania Ā· 2 months ago
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use somebody | spencer reid
part two
summary; spencer doesnā€™t believe someone like you could ever like someone like him, but he would do anything for a chance.
warnings; fem!reader, reader is described as being really really kind, bau!worker reader, fluff (slight angst bc spencer doubts himself) reader is a bundle of joy idk, spencer is absolutely disgustingly in love with reader. reader has a dog ( a golden retriever ) reader IS A BOOK LOVER, reader is shorter than spencer., no love confession but like there basically is. maybe a part two coming idk!
an; this is based off use somebody by kings of leon bc that song just AHHHH
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ā€˜I've been roamin' around, always lookin' down at all I see, painted faces fill the places I can't reach. You know that I could use somebody, you know that I could use somebody, someone like you and all you know and how you speak, countless lovers under cover of the street, you know that I could use somebody, you know that I could use somebody. Someone like you, off in the night, while you live it up, I'm off to sleep, wagin' wars to shape the poet and the beat. I hope it's gonna make you notice, I hope it's gonna make you notice someone like meā€™
If there was a single light in a room, it would be your smile. Spencer had decided that the minute you introduced yourself to him on your first day, your wide smile was the first thing he noticed, then your kind voice ā€” ever since Spencer Reidā€™s heart had your name written all over it and you had no idea.
You had been talking to Emily, your hands flinging around the more excited you got about whatever it was you were talking about, you were still smiling when Spencer approached with furrowed eyebrows after Emily had noticed him in the doorway and called him over to introduce himself to the team newest member.
You had introduced yourself with probably the widest, and sweetest grin he had ever seen. He almost forgot about the amount of germs spread through hand shaking when you offered him yours. He was pretty sure he felt the most embarrassment and disappointment when he didnā€™t forget ā€” and turned down your handshake with his name and a silly ramble about what your name means historically.
He didnā€™t miss the way your smile never dampened ā€” not even after his rejection of your offered hand, not during his embarrassingly long ramble, not as you listened intriguingly and then told him how cool it was that he just knew that off the top of his head.
That was a year, forty three days, 16 hours and 27 minutes ago ā€” not that Spencer was counting. But he definitely was.
Your kindness won his heart from that moment. Your smile became his moral support during a particularly tough case. It seemed all the less tense when you would meet his eyes from across the room and offer him the sweetest smile. Your small gifts you left around for each member of the team became what he looked forward to and the end of every week ā€” each more thoughtful than the last.
Spencer had kept the collection of small gifts you had given him on the shelf of his bedroom. Each one was specific to him. If someone on the team had mentioned wanting something or something they liked ā€” at the end of the week it would be sitting on their desk with a little pink sticky note and a small ā€˜I hope you like it!ā€™ in your hand writing.
He noticed that a lot of the time your gifts for him reference whatever he had rambled about the most that week, because he never explicitly told you he wanted anything or liked something because he knew you would go out of your way to get him it ā€” you however found a way anyways.
Doctor who figurines, books, dvdā€™s. one week you had noticed him fidgeting more than normal and on the friday evening you had left a small collection of different fidget toys for him, with the same pink sticky note that wrote, ā€˜Picking at your skin is bad!! it can lead to infections and sometimes if you do it too much you could end up needing surgery. (I dont know if thats true, doctor google wasnā€™t helpful!) I hope these helpā€™
He hadnā€™t picked at his skin since, if he was fidgeting it was with one of the small metal fidgets you had gifted him.
ā€œGood morning!ā€ You chirped ā€” suddenly the room seemed brighter as you walked into the bullpen, your bag was slung over your shoulders as you made your way towards your desk. You turned your head to offer Spencer a sweet smile.
He returned it, lifting his hand to wiggle his fingers in a gentle waving. A habit he had picked up from you. You never just waved like everyone else did, instead you just held up your hand and wiggled your fingers. When you were asked about it you had smiled and shrugged and said it seemed like your fingers were dancing.
Spencer was pretty sure it was the sweetest reasoning for something he had even heard, but maybe that was just the fact it was coming from you.
ā€œDid you like the dvd I gave you on Friday? The documentary one ā€” if you have even watched it yet! I thought it was interesting!!ā€ You said as you placed your bag on your desk. He thought his heart was going to jump out of his chest at the way your hair fell over your face when your head dropped down to look at your desk.
He shuffled slightly at his desk to sit up a little bit straighter. ā€œI watched it.ā€ He stated. Any dvd you gave him he watched the night he had got it. This one particularly ā€” he had known all of the information that was in it, but it didnā€™t stop him from enjoying it any less ā€” because you liked it enough to recommend it to him.
ā€œI thought it was interesting.ā€ He nodded, you lifted your head and smiled and he started to wonder at what point that sweet smile would stop having an effect on him. He partly hoped it never would. ā€œI watched another one yesterday. I think youā€™d like it.ā€ He said, not mentioning the fact he had paid extra attention to all of it, making sure it included something you were interested in, just so he could recommend it to you then talk to you about it the next day.
You grinned, leaning against your desk as you looked at him. He was thankful your desk was so close to his. That you were so close to him. Close enough to have a conversation without having to talk across the room, close enough that he could lean over and help with whatever you needed if you asked.
ā€œThe documentaries you watch might be a little above my expertise. I think Iā€™ll just be confused the entire timeā€ You giggled out, tilting your head slightly to the side. He shook his head instantly, eyes following the hair that fell the way your head tilted, down your shoulder.
ā€œYouā€™re smart, youā€™d understand.ā€ He said.
You smiled and raised your eyebrow slightly, ā€œIā€™m not smart like youā€™re smart, Spence.ā€ You shook your head, just as he had a few minutes ago.
He shrugged, ā€œNot many people areā€ It came out cockier than he intended, he was about to apologise for how it sounded before he heard you let out a gutty laugh. A real laugh. ā€œIf- If youā€™d like.. We uh- We could watch it together and I could explain to you whatever you donā€™t understandā€ He added, then he realised he had basically just invited you to hang out with him. Just you and him, in an unprofessional setting. Now his mind was fuelled by the fear of rejection.
That fear dimmed when your smile widened. ā€œReally? That would be great! Iā€™d love that.ā€ You had said.
Spencers mind went to almost a million different places in that moment. He thought about curling up with you on his couch, the documentary playing on his tv as you focused intently on whatever information was being said, he would admire you, he would ache to pull you closer and kiss your smiling lips.
Then he remembered how kind you were. The memory was both a blessing and a curse because then he remembered that your acceptance was probably an acceptance from your kind heart and want to spend time with your friend, opposed to wanting to spend time with him.
You smiled at him sweetly again before you were rushing off to greet JJ and tell her about something silly or maybe talk about whatever the two of you did on the weekend. He knew you often went out with the girls of the team on weekends.
Those nights he would lay in bed and wonder what you were doing, what you were wearing, how your hair was done, if you were laughing at a strangers jokes ā€” you probably were. He knew that because you laughed at everyoneā€™s jokes.
if all the joy in the world was wrapped up into a bundle and forced upon a person ā€” that person was you. Spencer didnā€™t know if he had ever seen you not smiling and honestly his heart ached for the day he would have to.
ā€œHey Spence?ā€ His head turned instantly towards the sound of your voice, he looked around to see you on your tiptoes trying to reach a file from a top shelf. He couldnā€™t help but smile at the sight. You didnā€™t need to say anything else before he was standing and walking over towards you.
He reached up, fingertips skimming along the files, ā€œWhich one do you need?ā€ He asked gently, his eyes dipping away from the files to meet yours as you returned flat on your feet, a grateful smile on your lips, staring up at him.
ā€œUmā€ You paused, eyebrows furrowing before a laugh left your lips, ā€œThe.. second one- I thinkā€ You paused before nodding.
He smiled ā€œYou think?ā€ reaching up to pull out the second file nonetheless. He heard you sigh dramatically ā€” he didnā€™t need to look at you to know you were smiling still, probably pushing hair behind your ear.
ā€œYes, I think.ā€ You stated. He pulled out the file, handing it to you. You took it gently, flicking through it for a moment, your eyes dancing along the words on the page before nodding.
You scrunched up your nose a little when you looked back up at him. ā€œā€” I thought right! Thank you Spence. Youā€™re amazing and great and awesomeā€ You rambled, flooding him with praise. He felt his cheeks warm at your never ending compliments despite how often you gave them. You constantly reminded him how amazing you thought he was ā€” when he was doing the most minimal things.
He wanted to take it as a sign that maybe you felt the same way he did but then youā€™d flood someone else with the same praise and that flame of hope would dwindle down just as fast as it came alight.
ā€œYouā€™re welcomeā€ He settled on as his eyes lingered on yours for a moment, your cheeks were a warm shade of pink and he wondered if that had anything to do with him rather than the fact the room was just a little bit warmer than normal.
You grinned and turned away. He followed as you walked back towards the desks. He sat down at his desk, swivelling his chair to face your desk. ā€œI was thinking ā€” if you wanted, this weekend we could watch that documentary at mine, my dog gets a bit excited around new people but he could stay outside if it makes you more comfortableā€” Oh and theres a new take away shop near my house if you wanted to get dinnerā€ You rambled about your planā€™s absentmindedly as you looked over the case.
Spencer felt his heart pull for a number of reasons, one because he didnā€™t even know you had a dog. He couldnā€™t help but wonder if everyone else did and this was just a piece of information he had missed out on. Secondly, at the fact you were serious about watching the documentary with him. You actually wanted to.
He had partly assumed you had just agreed because you were kind and didnā€™t want to hurt his feelings, and it would just be plans you two never really followed through with. He shouldā€™ve known better ā€” because it was you.
ā€œYou donā€™t have plans with the girls?ā€ He asked, eyebrows pinched together because he could clearly remember this morning hearing you and Emily talk about where you guys would go this weekend.
You let out a gentle laugh, shaking your head. ā€œIm making plans with you actually. I go out with them every weekend, Iā€™m sure they will survive without me for one.ā€ You smiled sweetly at him, and his heart felt like it was being clenched by someones tight hand.
He tried to hide the fact his cheeks had turned an ugly shade of pink, and that his eyes had blinked away from your captivating gaze for a moment. ā€œThat- Yeah- Yeah. That would, thats fine. Your dog is fine. We can get dinner.ā€ He stammered out, because apparently your kindness took away his ability to think straight. Although he knew that already.
ā€œGreat!ā€ You smiled. Suddenly Spencer hoped this week would go fast. He turned his gaze back to yours as a question weighed on his tongue, a wonder.
ā€œWhat type of dog do you have?ā€ He asked, his tone laced with curiosity as he watched you reorganise your desk. How you were smiling while doing something so mundane had his stomach filling with an ache of longing.
You raised your eyes back to his, a gasp of excitement leaving your lips at the opportunity to talk about your dog. ā€œA golden retriever!!ā€ You said, before going into a ramble about your dog.
He grinned as he listened to every word. He couldnā€™t help but think, a golden retriever. That was so fitting.
What Spencer wasnā€™t expecting at the end of the week, was a book sitting on his desk. The book wasnā€™t the surprising part. It was the pink sticky note and what it had written on it that sparked his curiosity.
ā€˜I read this last week and I know romance novels arenā€™t usually your style but I thought of you. Its annotated. The key is on the back. Have the greatest night <3ā€™
You had already left for the night after dropping everyoneā€™s weekly small gift off around their desks and waving goodbye. Spencer knew you left a little earlier than anyone else to get the bus. You knew how to drive, you had a car. When he had asked you why you got the bus everyday you had told him you just enjoyed people watching.
He constantly worried about what may happen with the dangers of public transport and with how kind you were ā€” well you would be an easy target. How could he tell you that he worried about you when you gave him the sweetest reasoning in the world? How could he tell you he worried without pouring his heart out to you.
Spencer went home that night and in bed he read the book you had gifted him ā€” you were right, romance novels werenā€™t necessarily his favourite but it didnā€™t stop him from reading it with just as much interest because it was you that recommended it.
His eyes danced along the key on the back for your annotation. Pink was things you found sweet, green was moments you found interesting, yellow was things that moments that made you sad. ā€” that one made Spencerā€™s lips pull into a tug because how dare anything make someone so sweet so sad?
But what really caught his interest was the blue. ā€˜things i want you to knowā€™ It made him wonder what things in this book could possibly be something you wanted him to know.
When reading, he came across many colours and lines highlighted, most in pink and green, a few in yellow, but there was only one part highlighted in blue, it was lines in a conversation in the middle of a particularly mushy love confession between the two characters of the book.
ā€˜You smile a lot.ā€™ was highlighted in blue,
and then, ā€œWhen youā€™re around, its hard not toā€™
Spencer didnā€™t know what it meant ā€” thats not true. He knew what it meant, he knew what you were saying but he didnā€™t know what it meant about how you felt about him. His mind swirled with the possibility that you might feel something for him.
How it was possible that someone like you, could ever feel anything for someone like him had his mind in a frenzy.
That didnā€™t matter when Spencer finished the book and added it to the collection of items you had gifted him, he kept the sticky note and placed it back on the book. He looked over the collection ā€” each gift partnered with the sticky note you had written when gifting them.
Spencer Reid loved you, and if he played any part in making you smile ā€” That was enough for him.
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secretsandwriting Ā· 7 months ago
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heyyyy ryyyyy <333
since ur requests are open i thought id go ahead and ask if you're mayhaps open to anything for batmom? i don't have a completely solid idea but maybe smn like batmom has been getting threats or maybe hate or smn from somebody and everyone's reactions and how they get hella protective?
obv no pressure and you definitely do not have to write this
hope you have a great day bb
Heyyyyy, so this grew hands and wrote itself, I hope you enjoy it. It did end up with a lot of backstory.
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You knew this would happen. Once your relationship with Bruce got out there would be an influx of love and hate. You also knew that everyone else knew that as well. It was common knowledge than anyone around a celebrity of sorts would experience that.Ā 
Of course you did the normal things, turned off most notifications and only looked through areas online you knew would mostly be safe. You blocked tags and and only followed people you knew or ones who didnā€™t post about drama.Ā 
When you did stumble onto hate, you moved on. If someone kept sending you nasty messages you blocked them, when they made other accounts to keep sending the same things, you changed your settings so only those you followed could message you.Ā 
It wasnā€™t something you wanted to deal with but it was something you could handle. Something you started mentally preparing yourself for when Bruceā€™s attention on you lasted more than 4 dates, even more so when you caught yourself daydreaming about him.
You were not going to let random bitter people on the internet destroy your happiness like they did their own. Your family however, wanted to destroy what was left of your haters' happiness. Something you were trying to curb, but trying to tell a family of vigilantes who considered you the best mom in existence not to destroy your haters was like talking to a brick wall. Over the years, you had gotten used to it. It barely even registered anymore. But there had been a recent influx of the hate and while it didnā€™t bother you, it bothered the rest of your family. None of them could stand people talking bad about their mom.
While you hadnā€™t been there while the older ones were young, the second you had introduced yourself to them, you had taken a very important role in their lives. None of them realizing it at first. All of them had gotten used to the random women Bruce brought home that it took a little while for them to realize how important you were.Ā 
Dick wasnā€™t sure at first. Thinking you were just another girlfriend that wouldnā€™t last long. So he didnā€™t really interact with you much. Ignoring your existence when it wasnā€™t too rude, or at least obviously rude. Until one night when he was staying at the manor and had a nightmare about his parents death.Ā 
Bruce had an open bed policy. As long as there was still room for him, his bed was open. A policy he had started when Dick had gotten old enough he was worried he wouldnā€™t be allowed to go when he had a nightmare. Bruce had always reminded all his kids, that nightmares donā€™t go away just because youā€™re older and that needing comfort wasnā€™t something they would outgrow.Ā 
The thing was, you were there. Girlfriends didnā€™t mind when children did it but they never liked it when his adult kids did it. The shaking in his hands and the way he saw them fall in the darkness of every blink told him the only way he was getting any sleep was with someone.Ā 
Hopefully he could just slip into Bruceā€™s side and leave before you woke up. That was the plan until he found Damian on Bruceā€™s side and you had been pulled closer to Bruce taking up what was left. You moved a little and Dick took that as his sign to deal with it himself until he heard you whisper his name. He hummed so you knew it was him and not some random stranger standing over Bruceā€™s side of the bed.Ā 
ā€œNightmare?ā€
ā€œYeah.ā€
ā€œCome on.ā€ You lifted the blanket next to you, ā€œBruce told me you guys come here when you have nightmares. There's plenty of room over here for you.ā€ Dick hesitated for a second before giving in. He needed sleep anyway. You werenā€™t when you said there was plenty of room, Dick had most of your half of the bed. Once he had settled on his side, facing away from you, he felt you pull the blanket over his shoulders.Ā 
ā€œNight Dick, sleep well.ā€ For some reason, that was what did it. Once the tears started they didnā€™t stop. Silent sobs made him shudder and he felt one of your hands gently rubbing his back. ā€œOh Dick.ā€ There was no pity in your tone and he found himself rolling over and curling into you. Your chin resting on his head while you rubbed his back.Ā 
The next day, he followed you around like a puppy. Your side of the bed became his favorite when he had nightmares and it wasnā€™t long before he turned to you for general comfort over anything.
Jason met you at his grave. Neither of you exchanged words, but he caught something in your gaze he didnā€™t quite understand. He also wasnā€™t sure why you were at his grave either, he didnā€™t know you when he was younger.Ā 
When he saw the Gotham News post about Bruce and Your 2nd anniversary, it brought more questions than answers. Why were you at his grave alone? Let alone longer than a few seconds. It was an odd way to gain more of Bruceā€™s affections.Ā 
Every Tuesday you would be there, leaving flowers and talking softly to the stone. Every time you left, you would smile and nod, the look in your eyes he couldnā€™t figure out was still there. Every time he would strain to heat what you were saying and only be able yo a few words here and there.Ā 
6 months into it, the routine changed. You brought a blanket and Basket with your usual flowers. You did what you normally did with the flowers but instead of talking to the stone you waved him over. When he didnā€™t move, you stopped what you were doing and looked at him.Ā 
ā€œJason Todd, I have been keeping your secret for 6 months. Helping me spread this blanket and having lunch wonā€™t change it.ā€ He stared at you while you waited expectantly. Eventually when he could get himself to move, he came over and helped. He sat down where you motioned for him too, all while trying to figure out how you knew.
ā€œBruce mentioned this used to be your favorite when you were younger so I asked Alfred to teach me how to make it. I hope it's up to your standards.ā€ He looked at the plate of food you handed him. It was almost overflowing with food, all of which reminded him of the good times back at the manor before he died. ā€œAlfred also sent your favorite cookies when he heard I would be eating at your grave.ā€ The bag of cookies was placed next to the basket, within easy reach.
ā€œWhy?ā€ Was all Jason managed to choke out around the lump in his throat.
ā€œI decided early on in life, no matter who I was with, I would love their family as my own. My grandfather hated my grandmothers side and it caused a lot of pain in all the generations. I decided I would never do that to another family.ā€ Jason found himself back in control enough to start eating.Ā 
ā€œSo when I started dating Bruce and he told me about you, I decided to treat you like you were my own. Even though I had never met you and you were dead. Most of what that meant was keeping your grave clean and always making sure there were fresh flowers. While I did that, I would tell you everything that was going on.ā€
ā€œHow did you know it was me?ā€
ā€œYour eyes, they may be a different color but they looked too similar. So I did a little digging and found pictures of your biological pictures to place the face shape it matched. I think however you look more like Bruce then either of them.ā€
ā€œAre you going to tell them?ā€
ā€œAs much as I would love to. Itā€™s your choice. Youā€™ve been keeping this to yourself for a reason. If I can help you get to a place to tell them, I would love to. But I wonā€™t say a word until you're ready. However, I would like to keep having lunch with you.ā€Ā 
A year later, Jason reintroduced himself to the rest of the family a lot calmer than originally planned and was glued to your side anytime he felt overwhelmed that night. Every Tuesday after that, lunch was scheduled.
Tim was nervous when it came to you. He was still living in the manor so he saw you more than the older two. You always seemed nice and respected his privacy but Bruce was always with you so you obviously would.Ā 
It was when he wasnā€™t around that worried Tim. Bruce attracted golddiggers and they were always mean when Bruce wasnā€™t there. When you were given a copy of the key, Time braced himself.Ā 
Of course he knew that if he told Bruce anything that happened like that, Bruce would break it off. He had always told them that they came first. But he also knew that Bruce liked you a lot. All the other ones Bruce liked a lot that turned out to be horrible, he broked it off. Tim had seen how it had made him upset and he really hated doing that to him. Maybe he could deal with it for once.Ā 
So when Bruce left for a business trip, Tim was Expecting the worst. What he didnā€™t expect was for you to knock on his door and ask if you could join him. When he agreed and stepped back so you could come in. He expected you to go to his bed or his desk chair not, the oversized bean bag on the floor.
ā€œI have a question for you but you canā€™t tell Bruce yet.ā€ Here it comes. ā€œWhat would a funny way to tell him I know heā€™s Batman?ā€ Tim wasnā€™t expecting that one. ā€œI was thinking a lot of batpuns but his paranoia is too bad for that.ā€
ā€œHow did you figure it out?ā€ You walked him through your process and didnā€™t say anything as he wrote parts of it down. Once you finished explaining the process for Bruce, you explained any way it was modified in figuring out their identities.
ā€œWho do you think I am?ā€
ā€œRed Robin.ā€ Tim found himself getting excited.Ā 
ā€œYou know those notes you leave him in his office?ā€ You nodded. ā€œYou should leave those in the Batcave.ā€ You considered it but your thinking was interrupted but Tim shouting.Ā 
ā€œNo! One night when weā€™re all in the cave, you could bring some snacks!ā€Ā 
ā€œYou just want snacks when heā€™s lecturing you donā€™t you?ā€
ā€œMaybe..ā€
ā€œAlright, but you have to tell the others so they can tell me what snack they want.ā€
So Tim slowly and carefully went through all his siblings, letting them know you figured it out, Bruce didnā€™t know, and what the plan is. Every time he relayed a snack to you heā€™d watch how carefully youā€™d write it out to make sure you had it correct or look up recipes if you couldnā€™t find it in stores.Ā 
Two weeks later, Tim was the one who sent the signal in the middle of a lecture everyone was receiving and he got a front row seat to see Bruceā€™s face when you walked in and handed out snacks before giving him a kiss and telling him to be nice and leaving.Ā 
Any other worries were left in the dust when you helped him win the nerf war for the best seat in the home theater. He thoroughly enjoyed his spot next to you while Bruce swore revenge from the other side of the room.
Damian treated you politely but that was it. His mother was still alive and he didnā€™t want another one, one was more than enough. Not only that, but you were weird.Ā 
One time when you were over, you found one of his report cards. Immediately you were praising him. He didnā€™t understand why, he had basically failed one of his classes with an A-. You should be disappointed like his mother would be, not hanging it up on the fridge and telling people not to touch it. Definitely not taking him out for ice cream and calling him so smart. He definitely shouldnā€™t be feeling any pride when he walked past it, but he still was.Ā 
When he was practicing his violin and Messed up, you were supposed to tell him to stop failing, that he should be better. Not smiling at him and telling him heā€™s making good progress. You should be telling him that he should have memorized that piece in a day. He shouldnā€™t be feeling any pride when he finally does memorize it, it took him 4 days to learn it.
When he was struggling to learn a language, you were supposed to tell him to work harder. He could do better, after all, he already knew so many. Instead you just smiled and recommended a break to refresh his mind.Ā 
When he snapped at you in Arabic, he expected you to be upset since you didnā€™t know what he said and it was obviously not something nice. Instead you set the rule that if he was going to use Arabic to speak to you when upset, that he had to teach it to you and if what he said wasnā€™t something you had learned yet, he had to tell you in english. When he told you what it meant, you didnā€™t even get upset. He definitely shouldnā€™t be as excited as he was when you actually started learning.Ā 
So many more little things piled up, leaving Damian confused. The differences between how you and his mother treated him was so big he didnā€™t know how to process it, he liked you and all the little things made him happy in a way he hadnā€™t really felt. But he still loved his mom, When he had enough of it, he asked you to stop. He still wanted to love his mom. Once again, you did something you werenā€™t supposed to.
ā€œOh Damian, Iā€™m not trying to replace your mom nor am I trying to make you feel like you canā€™t love her or she doesnā€™t love you. Your mom and I show our love in different ways and its ok for you to love or like both of us. You mother loves you and she will always be allowed in your life if thats what you want.ā€ You werenā€™t supposed to do that, but Damian was really glad you did.
Barbara wasnā€™t sure how you would react to her. She wasnā€™t just Bruceā€™s kid. She had a loving family she went back to every night. Most people werenā€™t really a fan of that, one of Bruceā€™s past girlfriends had some strong and hurtful things to say about it.Ā 
When you took her for a day out, she found herself warming up to you but still waiting for the other shoe to drop. One of the new places you had planned to go, didnā€™t have wheelchair access. Like all the other girlfriends who had done this, she expected you to be annoyed that your plans had to change or you would just leave her outside while you shopped.Ā 
You didnā€™t seem to notice her hesitation, just looking at what was next on your list and starting the trip there. When Barbara stared a little longer at a new movie that was in theaters, tickets and snacks were bought and you listed to all the lore she told you about before it started.
While it had been a nice day, Barbara wasnā€™t convinced. One day was easy to fake. Sure she had lots of fun, but Barbara was used to fakes when it came to Bruceā€™s girlfriends. Of course she wasnā€™t complaining about you being nice, she just wasnā€™t sure how long it would last.Ā 
ā€œDid you hear about that boutique?ā€ She looked up from her food to look at her dad. ā€œThat new one that you tried to go to with Bruceā€™s girlfriend? Well there was a report that it didnā€™t meet the Americans with Disabilities act and the boutique is in trouble. People are speculating theyā€™ll have to close down.ā€
Later that night, Barbara looked into it. They were in trouble, pretty big trouble from the looks of it. Towards the end of the article she found the name of the person who reported it, she wasnā€™t sure who she was expecting. Not you for sure but the Name Y/n L/n took her by surprise and filled her chest with feelings she couldnā€™t describe.Ā 
The boutique ended up closing but a new one opened. Once it was open, you were the first to ask her to go. That weird feeling came back when she wheeled herself up the ramp and through the door you held open for her. Later that night, in the privacy of her room. She decided she liked you.Ā 
Steph seemed like she liked you, she acted like she liked you, she didnā€™t really like you. Sure you were nice, Bruce loved you, the others were warming up to you, but she wasnā€™t sure how to feel about you. So she stuck with not actually liking you but pretending to.Ā 
So when she was around you, it was all smiles and jokes. She wasnā€™t a big fan of it all but she did it because she knew you were important to Bruce and that was enough of a reason for her. She knew Bruce and the others could see through the act but as long as you couldnā€™t, that was enough.Ā 
When Bruce announced he had to leave for a business trip right before she could hand him the parents visit for one of her AP classes, something the new teacher liked doing. She tucked the paper away. When Tim gave her a questioning look, she shook her head and later swore him to silence.Ā 
Every time she heard someone mention their parents were going, she felt a pang of jealousy in her chest. Every time Tim mentioned bringing it up to you, she swore him into silence again. It wouldnā€™t be the first time no one showed up for her. She was however thankful you wouldnā€™t be at the manor as much so she didnā€™t have to pretend to like you.
When the day arrived, Steph was not having a good day. School dragged on slowly. Slower than normal. When school finally ended, she had to sit in the classroom and watch everyone else that was in her class leave and the parents of her classmates show up while no one was there or coming for her.
Someone sat in the seat next to her, she expected another family member of one of her classmates. Definitely not you. She couldnā€™t return your smile, too unsure of how you found out, the fact you actually showed up, and how she felt about you being there. You leaned a little closer so that the others in the room wouldnā€™t easily overhear.Ā 
ā€œI know Iā€™m not your parent and someone you just pretend to like so if you want me to leave I will. But I figured someone was better then no one. Oh, and Tim wanted me to tell you he didnā€™t spill. Your teacher called the manor because no one had RSVPed for you and I answered it.ā€
That night, as Steph showed off all her hard work to you, the charade fell. She actually enjoyed her time with you and the boost of pride as you oohed and ahhed over all her projects and listened to her explain all the little details. That night, Steph realized, she didnā€™t need to keep pretending. She liked you, until she found out you didnā€™t like her favorite show but a nerf war solved that.Ā 
Cass could tell you were different then the other girlfriends, your body language as you interacted with all of them showed it. However that didnā€™t mean she knew how to interact with you.
She had learned that she was fairly hard for new people to interact with. She also knew she had trouble interacting with people she wasnā€™t fighting. So it wasnā€™t a surprise when it started rocky.Ā 
What was a surprise, was when you found out she was still having trouble reading and writing, you stepped in to help. Well, that wasnā€™t the surprising part, a lot of girlfriends did that. The surprising part was the amount of patience you had when it was only the two of you.Ā 
When one method didnā€™t help, you tried another. Never once did you snap at her or call her a name. Everytime you got frustrated you would stop and look at her, say something along the lines of ā€œIf I had as much trouble with this as you do, I wouldnā€™t want to keep trying. You're doing absolutely amazing! Iā€™ll keep looking for other ideas, but for now, lets take a break and get a treat.ā€Ā 
Cass wasnā€™t sure why that always made her feel better, but it did. Every treat you brought was something you made just for the tutoring sessions and it always reminded her of what Alfred had told her once. ā€œSomething made with love for you will always taste better.ā€
And when a method that made it a little easier to learn was found, Cass found herself smiling along with your cheers. Bad days where she couldnā€™t seem to make any progress were always met with the same excitement, cheers, patience, and treats that all the others were.Ā 
Cass still wasnā€™t sure of what to think of you exactly, but she knew she liked you and that you cared about her.
So when Tim saw the new rise in hate, a sibling meeting was called. They all went through each site, blood boiling as they saw what people were saying about their new parent. Plans were made, declarations of war were ready, and anger fueled all of them. Bruce could tell something was going on, but he wasnā€™t sure what it was and as long as it didnā€™t get out of had, he wasnā€™t sure if he had the energy to deal with it.Ā 
War was declared in an interview by Steph. The lady was asking questions when the topic switched to Bruce, then you. The reporter was clearly trying to subtly find some dirt on you and Steph was not going to stand for it.
ā€œOh yeah! Y/n! Sheā€™s the best!ā€ She put on her best press face. Trying to hide her anger over the hidden intent. She didnā€™t have to lie or act when talking about you but the change in the ladyā€™s face going to disappointment when she didnā€™t get anything she wanted was making her look very punchable.Ā 
ā€œSheā€™s always showing up for us and making sure weā€™re doing ok. If Y/n and Bruce were to break up, I think most of us would go with Y/n.ā€ The way the lady kept trying to get anything really got on her nerves and Steph decided she needed to get out of there before she started using the ladyā€™s face for target practice. You wouldnā€™t like that.
Cass was the first one to resort to violence. They had asked a thinly veiled question, basically asking if you were a golddigger. So she punched him in the nose and leaned down to flip the camera off. She hated interviews already but that made it so much worse. She hoped you wouldnā€™t be too upset with her punching the guy though.
Jason, surprisingly enough. Did not get violentā€¦ physically. He did however curse one out and threaten him when the reporter implied you were forcing them to say nice things. When the reporter kept pressing Jason broke his mic and told him if he ever heard him talking bad about you again, a broken mic would be the last of his worries. Jason knew you would be disappointed but he had held back, he didnā€™t shoot the guy like he wanted.
Tim threw his coffee at one reporter because he heard them say you were nothing but a regular person who didnā€™t deserve any attention. He then took over her segment, threatening the company to air it or he would make sure they went bankrupt. Once he finished his threats, anything he said was praising you name. Telling everyone how amazing you were and how much they all loved you.
Barbara made it a point to bring up everything you did for the community when they tried to throw some shade at you in an interview. She had documents to prove it and hacked their systems to add them into the interview so they couldnā€™t claim it was fake. She also made sure to run over his foot when she left.Ā 
Dick punched a reporter when they tried to ask him what you were really like behind closed doors. He told them the truth, that you were just as good, kind, patient, and loving behind closed doors as you were out in public. He didnā€™t throw a punch until the reporter disregarded that as asked again because she couldnā€™t be that good. Dick knew a lecture would be coming once you saw, but he would rather sit through a lecture then let anyone tarnish your name.
Damian spent 10 minutes cursing and threatening a reporter in Arabic when they asked him if you had ever hurt him. When he was done, he told them in english, that if he ever got asked that question again, he would impale them. He knew you were going to make him sit down and translate everything and the general response you would give but he didnā€™t care, no one speaks bad about either of his mothers.
Bruce figured out what was going on after Stephā€™s interview. He saw the ones where they assaulted or threatened the reporters and made sure his lawyers were on standby to keep the kids out of trouble. After all, he had seen more than they had.Ā 
He had watched as you tried to connect with Dick early on, how you worked hard to try and get somewhere. He had woken up before you when Dick had come in that night and heard how you handled it. He had woken up the next morning to find you holding Dick close, like you were trying to protect him from the nightmares. He had seen how you never turned Dick down when he wanted comfort, no matter how serious or silly the matter, and he had heard your excitement when you told him Dick liked you.
Bruce had seen the way you never missed a visit to Jasonā€™s grave, on a visit of his own, he saw how much care you showed the stone marking it as his lost son. While he hadnā€™t been sure why it was alway the same time on Tuesday, he didn;t mention it. He felt the way you would sob in his arms after each visit, a year after the tradition started, you always said you had promised not to tell and he watched as you kept that promise even if it tore you to pieces. Once the shock and tears wore off for a little bit, he could see the trust that Jason had in you.
He heard the way you questioned if you should have a key to the manor, you didnā€™t want to make Tim uncomfortable in his own home, or how you questioned if you should visit while he was gone. Not wanting to stress Tim out when there was no reason too. He saw the way you and Tim grinned at each other when you brought snacks down for all the kids he was currently lecturing. He head the excitement in your voice as you told him about the tour Tim had given you of the Batcave and the shared laughter as you and Tim worked together to win the nerf war.
Bruce saw how you worked to give Damian the affection he didnā€™t think he needed. He felt you crying in his arms upset over the fact Damian thought you would be angry because he made a mistake or struggled in a class. He heard you practicing your Arabic as you got ready for bed and he watched as you stress paced over whether or not you said the right thing to him about his mother.Ā 
He saw how angry you had been when you came back from your day out with Barbara. He had heard your call with your lawyer as you tried to figure out what to do. He saw you going through the laws and making a list to make sure your lawyer didnā€™t miss any. He heard about the movie you didnā€™t particularly care about and the lore you remembered in case of another because you wanted Barbara to have someone she could tell all of her favorite things too.Ā 
Bruce saw the pictures you had taken from the school night. He heard all the details from you as you praised Stephā€™s work. He saw the way Steph stopped acting around you and the silly arguments the two of you would get into for fun. He heard the way you would listen to her as she verbally worked out her problems. He saw the way Steph looked for you in a crowd, the way she knew you were there but not where you stood exactly, the thought of you not being there never crossed her.Ā 
He saw the way you stayed up late, researching different ways to teach reading and writing. He heard the patience and kindness and you worked with Cass. He saw the way you always made a treat just for Cass to have after each lesson because you wanted to reward her hard work. He heard the way you cried for Cass when she had a bad day and got frustrated with herself because you knew she was smart and you wanted her to see it too. He heard your celebrations when Cass made any progress, no matter the size.Ā 
Bruce heard, saw, and felt the way you worked hard to have a relationship with his kids. How you had mourned for their losses, celebrated their wins, and felt their pain. He saw the way his kids blossomed under your care, growing to be better and more confident in themselves. The way you cared for them as if they were your own flesh and blood. So when he was asked about his kids behavior, he said as much.Ā 
ā€œY/n has worked hard to be accepted by them. Sheā€™s given so much of her time, effort, patience, and love and never wanted anything in return. She always shows up for them, no matter what the occasion is, big or small, it doesnā€™t matter. If they want her there, sheā€™ll be there. Everytime they need or want her, sheā€™s there. She never judges them and treats them as if they were her own blood. Of course their upset and lashing out, people are insulting the woman who has cared for them more then most of their biological mothers.ā€
Later, a clip of you scolding Bruce and all the kids went viral. While you were scolding them over their behavior and making the kids who had reacted with violence or threats write apology letters because asking mean questions does not make it right to respond badly especially when its someone just trying to start drama. Everyone one noticed that there was no actual bite to your tone and no anger when they all refused to stop acting like that. In fact, there was a small soft smile on your face as you shook your head at your family.
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talaok Ā· 4 months ago
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What's a fanfiction?
"You wrote it, I think it's only right you get to experience it, babydoll"
Pairing: dbf!Joel Miller x f!reader
Summary: By mistake, you send Joel, your neighbor, your dadā€™s best friend, a fanfic you wrote, and when you go to his house to talk to him about it, your worst fear comes to lifeā€¦ and then your biggest dream.
Warnings: age-gap, he blackmails you (but youre very much into it) smut| oral sex (m receiving), facefucking, 1 lil threat of anal, p in v sex, creampie, sir kink, small little breeding kink moment, so much degradation, and a lil bit of praising.
a/n: i am aware this is not written very well, but i was thinking too much and then i remembered that at the end of the day i do this for fun and its not that serious, so please overlook all the shitty parts. love ya very much<3
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Read.
Read-
He read it. He fucking read it and you're gonna jump off a cliff and die.
You swore- you fucking swore you sent it to Miley yesterday night. Right before you went to sleep, you finished writing it and sent to her- except obviously, that wasn't what had fucking happened.
You'd sent it to him
And now you needed to find a fucking solution.
__ __ __
God even knocking felt like torture,
"oh hi y/n" Sarah's smile was nothing like her dad's, it was all kindness and sweetness, while Joel's... well Joel's always had something strange lurking behind his.
"Hi Sarah" you forced your lips to mimic hers, although the nerves were making it difficult "Is your dad home? I kinda need to talk to him"
"mh-mh" she nodded, gesturing for you to come in "he's in his study upstairs"
You stepped into the house just as she crouched down to pick up a gym bag
"You know where that is right?" she asked "I'm late for practice, I gotta go"
You felt your heart drop as her words sank in.
She was going out- she would be leaving you alone with him, in his house, in his study-
But then again, considering what it was you were here to talk about, maybe it was for the best.
"Yeah, don't worry" you forced another smile
"great" she beamed "see you later then"
And just like that, she was out of the house, and you were sole in the middle of your neighbor's entrance.
__ __ __
Again, another knock that felt very much like a punch to the gut
"come in"
His voice was warm and strong like it always was, that same voice that made your panties dampen just at the thought of it.
"H-hey Mr. Miller" you swallowed thickly, pushing open the door as if an army of zombies waited on the other side
"Darlin'" he nodded at you from behind his wooden desk, a hint of a grin shadowing his lips
Darlin'
Darlin'
God this fucking man
"h-hey" you said again, cursing internally while you tried remembering why you were even there.
Oh, right. Just about the most awkward thing ever.
A soft chuckle rumbled from his chest, making the hair at the nape of your neck stand.
"Whatcha doing here, doll?"
You felt heat rush to your cheeks, and then you felt your eyes fall to the floor as your hands fiddled with the edge of your skirt.
The skirt you purposely wore to come here- for him-
god what a stupid fucking-
"Thatta real pretty skirt you got on"
Your eyes snapped up to him, but he took his time glancing away from your legs.
"Oh- I- thank you" you murmured
"Jus' call 'em like I see 'em, darlin'" he shrugged, leaning back into his chair "Now's that all you came here for? To show me your new pretty skirt?"
"n-no" you rushed in to say, perhaps too quickly to be fully believable "I came here because I- uhm" You bit your bottom lip, the nervous fiddling starting back up again
"I ain't gonna bite babydoll"
Fuck- at this rate your panties would start melting.
"last night-" you gulped "I kinda- I... well I sent you something by mistake"
"ah" he hummed, raising his brows as he clicked on something on the laptop next to him "I gotta say, issa real... interesting story this one"
No-
NO
Fuck my life and everything ever in the existence of the universe fuckfuckfuck-
"who's..." he trailed off, reading off his screen "Javier?"
Your lungs had turned to stone and your mind to dust.
This couldn't be really happening, no, I mean, even if he'd read it for some reason he surely wouldn't be... taunting you for it.
"Mr. Miller-"
"real lucky guy" he said, his lips twitching into a soft smirk as he looked at you curiously "You brought him home to meet your daddy yet?"
"n-no" you stuttered, your mind a big ashamed mess and your whole body frozen like a statue "n-no he's not... real"
You watched his brows come together in confusion.
"what's that mean he ain't real?"
A shaky sigh fled your lips as you surrendered to your fate
"He's a character... f-from a tv show"
He remained silent, and as comfortable with silence as you were it was a different kind of story when Joel Miller was staring at you... so you talked again.
"T-that's a fanfiction, I- I write them sometimes, it's... fun"
His eyes searched yours for answers, faint amusement sparking in the back of his irises.
"what's a fanfiction, doll?"
Death wasn't such a scary thing after all- yeah it sure as hell was a better alternative to this.
"It's a... made-up story, that people- that I- sometimes write about fictional characters I like- a-and then I post it for p-people to read"
"And this Javier..."
"Narcos" you blurted out "H-he's from the show Narcos, he's not real"
His mouth twitched into a subtle smile, his eyes raking all over your body as if he was checking to see if it was really you in front of him
"I've seen that show" he said, his brow raising "Ain't he a bit old for you, babydoll?"
"Y-yes well- I-I-"
But you had no excuse for that, you could never tell him the truth, about how much you liked older men... about all the celebrity crushes double your age- so you just bit your lip, looking down at the floor.
The noise of his chair creaking as he got up made your heart skip a beat, but it stopped completely only when you heard him step closer to you... until he was right before you.
The only thing you could see were the socks covering his feet, and part of his black jeans- you didn't have it in you to actually look at him, to see him laughing at you, but you had no other choice when two of his fingers pulled your chin up.
"so you sit in your room, imagining this old man doin' all this stuff to you, and then you write it down?" he spoke, his beautiful mouth so very close to you "And here I was thinkin' you were a good little girl"
Your breath caught in your throat at those words, and he... yeah he definitely noticed.
"Please don't tell my dad"
"well I don't know" he moved some hair from your face, "I think this is somethin' your daddy ought to know"
a well of fear dipped into your belly, your eyes widening
"n-no please" you begged "Please Mr. Miller don't, I'll do anything- anything at all"
"oh sweetie" he cooed, "that ain't somethin' you can tell a man, especially not after he's read all the dirty things you fantasize about in your pretty little head"
"Mr Miller-" you bit your lip
"Mr Miller?" he repeated, looking down at you like you were the smallest little creature in the world "That ain't what you were calling Javi now, was it?"
A small, almost imperceptible gasp left your mouth.
He couldn't be saying... no right?- except...
"Joel-"
"that ain't it either" he shook his head, his thumb tracing the shape of your lower lip "you know what it is babygirl"
Either you were gonna make a fool of yourself, or this really was what he wanted.
"S-sir"
The slightest, most feline smirk pulled at his lips in satisfaction "thatta girl" he murmured "you don't want your dad to know what a dirty lil' girl his daughter really is?"
His breath was fanning on your mouth, and his touch was making your legs turn to jelly.
"n-no" you shook your head almost imperceptibly
"no?" he asked again, just to see you squirm, just to savor this moment for a little bit more.
"no sir"
He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down his throat, his eyes looking into yours, memorizing every inch of your face, of the anxiety, the ardor, the plead in your expression.
"then get on your knees"
Your eyes widened in shock, the air going up your throat suddenly getting stuck
"w-wha-"
"what?" he asked, not even sounding like himself anymore. His tone was sweet, calm even, but something almost dire lurked underneath his words.
"you seemed eager to do it when Javi asked" he tilted his head, his fingers still holding your chin.
If you didn't know better you would have guessed it was jealousy that traced his tone whenever he spoke the name of your fantasies's protagonist... little did he know the main reason why you even liked Javier was his resemblance to him- to Joel.
"Mr- sir" you stuttered "I-"
"I don't like to repeat myself y/n" he spoke sternly, his eyes boring into yours "Do you want your daddy to know or not?"
You didn't need to answer, you only held his stare as he let your face go, and you slowly, unsurely, and awkwardly got to your knees.
"wasn't so hard now was it?" he asked, his eyes dark enough to fade into the night sky "what are you waiting for?"
"I-"
"You need instructions babydoll?" he chuckled "'cause I ain't gonna give 'em to ya" he said while your heart pounded in your chest "I know you know how to do it" he smirked "Described it so well in your little fanfiction"
"b-but I-" you tried to take a deep breath but doing anything while he towered over you, while his crotch was right in your line of sight was proving to be very very difficult "I've only ever done this once" you gulped, trying to keep eye contact
"yeah?" he smiled, his hand going to the top of your head, gently patting it...that really shouldn't have turned you on as much as it did. "then how come you knew exactly what to do with Javi? don't tell me you just guessed"
He either didn't believe you, or was really not expecting that. But it was the truth- you'd only ever done anything once... and it's not like it had even felt that great.
"Well, I- I do research... and I- I read a lot"
If you thought he looked predatorial before... you had no idea how bad it could really get.
"research huh?" he mocked, his voice as deep as it could get "Oh baby you're digging yourself a hole here" he tsked, shaking his head while looking almost disappointed "I really think your daddy ought to know about all the research his lil' girl's doing under his roof"
"No!" you begged, your bottom lip trembling.
"No?" he asked, tracing it with his thumb "Then I suggest you make it good, babygirl"
And that was that.
Your trembling hands undid his belt, then lowered his zipper, and finally pulled his pants down until they pooled at his feet.
Fuck
He was huge- even with the boxers still on it was very clear the man was just massive-
"I don't like to be teased y/n"
"s-sorry sir" you responded automatically, noticing his cock twitch within the confines of the fabric in appreciation of your obedience.
You had to do it slowly, you had to pull his boxers down slowly so you could have time to calm down, to not panic in front of the huge cock that was gonna be right in front of you at any moment-
And yet it didn't work- a soft gasp fled your mouth as you freed his manhood.
He only chuckled, watching the fear in your eyes, and quite frankly, very much enjoying it.
"I'll tell ya if you're doing it wrong" he simply spoke, his hand going to the back of your head to guide you closer to where he wanted you.
He was getting impatient. And you didn't want to disappoint him.
Yes, he was blackmailing you, but you'd be lying if you said you hadn't been dreaming of this for years.
You looked like a frightened kid as you wrapped your right hand around him, and you looked even more out of place as you opened your mouth and started fitting his length inside of it.
A weak grunt rumbled from his chest "Hollow your cheeks" he ordered, having you obey in a heartbeat.
"fuck that's good" he groaned now, watching you intently as you started bobbing your head, trying to fit more of him into your mouth "Good little slut"
You didn't know a moan was gonna flee your mouth until it had- until your whole face felt hot and you waited terrified for Joel's reaction.
Exect he was smiling- no- grinning like you'd just given him the best gift he'd ever received.
"Oh, you're really something else ain't ya, darlin'?"
"mhp" Your muffled noises were all the more entertaining to him, especially paired up with the sight of your thighs rubbing together.
You were so fucking wet you feared at any moment you would start dripping onto the floor.
"so needy" he murmured, his hand now gathering your hair in a makeshift bun "You wanna touch yourself, baby girl? wanna feel good while you make me feel good?"
"mh-mh" you tried to nod, to beg, to say yes please for the love of god let me.
"that's too bad" he tutted, sounding like he was holding back a laugh "Javi didn't let you do that now, did he?" he smirked "You wrote it, I think it's only right you get to experience it, babydoll"
But before you had time to ask yourself if he meant all of it, he'd spoken again.
"that all you can take?" he asked, watching the first half of his cock in your mouth with amusement "Here- how 'bout I help you out darlin'" he smirked, his hips retracting just to thrust into your mouth-
It wasn't a hard jab, but still you choked, and then you choked some more as he did it again, watching you fit more of him into your mouth as saliva drooled to your chin and your eyes watered.
You could feel the texture of every inch of his dick with your tongue, the feel of his veins, and the taste of his precum were all you were aware of.
"like that- see, jus' needed a lil' help" he groaned "Even a slut like you needs it sometimes"
His pace had quickened, and tears were now streaming down your face.
"shh" he shushed you once you choked yet another time "I know it's big baby" he cooed, his thrust much less gentle than his words, although that was all an act too "I know, I know... but you're gonna have to be a good whore for me and take it aaall into that slutty little throat, ok?" he murmured "just try to breathe through your nose"
What did he mean try?
What if you tried and failed?
But you weren't actually worried- you had never thought being horny could actually be painful, and yet, there you were, literally so wet and turned on it hurt.
You couldn't even see him anymore through all the tears covering your eyes, and you didn't even realize you were actively choking and making a complete mess of yourself, all you could feel was his big fat cock, and dream about how it would feel inside of you.
"God fuckin-" He groaned like an animal as he finally bottomed out, his dick making a permanent dent into your throat at this point "Jesus Christ"
He stayed like that for what felt like an eternity, watching you struggle, and then, just like that, he was out- and you could breathe again.
He didn't even give you time to catch your breath, to finish coughing like a maniac that he'd already given you another order.
"get up," he said "take off your clothes"
He really did want to recreate the fic- you were- you were about to have sex with Joel Miller, THE Joel Miller, your neighbor and dad's best friend Joel Miller.
oh fuck
"What did I say about repeating myself?"
You scrambled to your feet, pulling your shirt off at the same time.
You heard him snort but didn't pay it any mind as you took your bra and skirt off as quickly as you could.
You really were desperate.
But when it came to your panties you slowed, everything suddenly feeling very real.
"what are you waiting for?"
"s-sorry sir" you mumbled, finally dropping them at your feet.
A soft groaned fuck climbed up his throat as he examined every inch of your body.
You would be covering yourself, feeling a little self-conscious, if it wasn't for the fact that his gaze had turned you to stone.
"pick your panties up" he said as if getting out of a trance.
You frowned, confused, but obeyed nonetheless.
Maybe he didn't like the mess...
"Put 'em in the first drawer," he said, nodding back to his desk.
Oh
He followed your every move as you walked past him, but it was only when you were at his desk, that he started stalking towards you.
He was right beside you now, and somewhere along the way he'd lost his shirt, because your back was now pressed against his chest, and your ass was right against something else.
"I'm keepin' those" he murmured, his deep voice right next to your ear, his hands going to grip your waist.
You dropped the panties where he asked and nodded, turning to him, finding his face, his mouth, but an inch from your own.
"Yes sir"
His cock twitched again right against your backside as his mouth ghosted yours.
"Bend over"
You swallowed thickly, doing as he said.
You shivered feeling the table's cold wood meet your skin, but you got hot all over again once you felt Joel's words.
"Spread your legs"
You did.
"What an obedient slut I've turned you into" he grinned, proud of himself
"Where do you want it?"
You felt his cock slide between your cheeks, making you whimper and arch your back.
"here?" he slid it in between your legs, connecting with your clit.
You moaned as you shook your head no
"here?" he asked again, this time his dick prodding at your asshole.
You gasped as you mumbled "N-no sir- please"
"You want in your throat again babydoll, 's that it?" he teased you, his tip still leaving smears of his precum on your hole
"mh-mh" you shook your head no again "Please"
"no?" he snickered, "Then where?"
"Here?" he asked, the tip of his dick finally getting exactly where you wanted him "in your slutty lil' pussy?"
"yes- p-please sir- I-"
"say it" he taunted you, almost slipping in.
"I- I need it"
"what do you need?"
"Y-Your cock sir" you begged
"Where do you need my cock?"
"I-I need it in my pussy" you cried- he was so close if he would just- "I need your cock in my pussy sir, please I- I'm begging you-"
"good little slut"
He pushed in with one singular, hard thrust, making you cry out so loud the whole neighborhood probably heard.
He was so big it kind of burned at first, but as he thrust in again and you heard him groan in pleasure, there was no going back- you were in complete bliss... and your brain had turned to mush.
You were moaning- loudly.
"fuck-" he grunted "you're such a whore darlin'"
The sound of how wet you were as he plunged into your heat was filthy.
"Y'know- I usually give women an orgasm before I fuck 'em," he said as his balls slapped rhythmically against your skin "but you're just a whore- and whores don't deserve to be treated with respect, do ya?" Your back arched, feeding him more of yourself as your walls squeezed around him "Nah, you deserve to be used. Used like the little sluts that you are" he kept grunting, not paying any mind to how loud you were being, or how the desk had started to slip because of how hard his thrusts were "And it ain't like you need it, is it darlin'?" he chuckled, suddenly pulling you up, his right arm around your torso keeping you pinned against him "you're makin' a mess" he murmured into your ear, shivers running up your spine "and besides, this' how you wanted it- wrote it jus' like this in your lil' story didn't ya, ya little slut?"
He bit your earlobe just as his dick hit your cervix, making your brain short-circuit.
It was all so hot- so fucking hot.
"I can't imagine what your daddy would say" his mouth was on your neck now, but his pace was the same as ever, as hard and unapologetic as it could get "knowing what nasty things his little girl likes to think- to write" he chuckled "bet the poor guy would have the fuckin' big one if he knew"
"if he knew how you like to be fucked by men 30 years older than you" he groaned, feeling you squeeze him as you whimpered his name incoherently "if he knew how tight you get when I tell you how much of a slut you are"
Your eyes were rolled back, and your head had dropped against his chest
"please"
"If he knew how good you fuckin' take my cock" he murmured right against your mouth, your legs trembling "How desperate you are for it"
He was going even faster, and he was now supporting your whole body because your legs weren't working anymore.
"If he knew what a fuckin' whore he raised" he grunted, plunging his cock as deep as it could go, molding your body to him "how she's my whore now"
And that was it- that was it.
You felt actual tears stream down your cheeks as bliss took over your body- as you cried and moaned and trembled until you were done, until you'd finally recovered.
"I'm gonna come inside babygirl" It wasn't a question, it was an order, just like every one he'd given you for the past hour "Jus' like Javi" he grunted, his thrusts more erratic now "except this is real life baby- and you better hope it doesn't stick" he smirked, feeling your walls squeeze involuntarily at his words "God you're such a slut"
"Now take it all like a good one"
You couldn't help but join his moaning as he came, as he filled you up to the very brim.
You were a mess- cum was already running down your thighs as he slipped out of you, but you still followed his lead and started dressing again- only your panties were in his drawer and the walk back home would be a real awkward one.
"You post these stories?"
There was no point in lying, you'd already confessed to it.
"I- yes" you swallowed, putting your bra on "o-on Tumblr"
You could very well see he'd never heard of the app
"How are you called on there?"
He'd stepped closer to you, watching you fiddle with your shirt in your hands.
His belt was unbuckled, his jeans still open, and you were starting to feel ready for round two already.
"S-sir you want t-to-ā€
"I gotta know what other things your daddy can't know aboutā€ he murmured, moving a piece of hair from your face ā€œand all the things Iā€™m gonna do to my lilā€™ slutā€
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stiingrayyyy Ā· 8 months ago
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Dating Headcanons F.H
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What itā€™s Like to Date Five Hargreeves
Pairings ā€” Five Hargreeves x Reader (pronouns not specified)
Summary ā€” My headcanons for if you were Fiveā€™s lover.
Warnings ā€” opinions, no plot, itā€™s all over the place, last one is semi-NSFW.
A/N ā€” i try to avoid nsfw with five because yk.. in the show, heā€™s physically thirteen but this one was too funny not to add. letā€™s all just pretend there was a happy ending okay šŸ˜­šŸ˜­. i wrote this before season four came out so letā€™s pretend it ended happily.
ā€” if you want another version where itā€™s just headcanons of you and five in the apocalypse iā€™m down for that.
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ā€” I see headcanons where Five is straight up mean, manipulative, and where heā€™s just using you.
ā€” To me, thatā€™s not Five being in love with you. Have you seen how he treats Delores? HEā€™S SO SWEET TO HER.
ā€” So if youā€™re his lover, he will give you princess treatment like no other, holy shit.
ā€”Heā€™ll prepare breakfast so itā€™s ready to be eaten when you wake up.
ā€” He thinks breakfast in bed is a recipe for disaster so he never does that.
ā€” If you take a while to wake up heā€™ll wake you up.
ā€” ā€œMy love, breakfast is ready.ā€ Heā€™ll whisper into your ear before pressing a kiss onto your temple, then one on your forehead, then your noseā€¦ then finally a chaste kiss on your lips.
ā€” Heā€™ll tuck you in bed at night and make sure youā€™re all snug before leaving. If you canā€™t sleep heā€™ll read to you.
ā€” With him around, you genuinely never have to open a door. In addition to paying for every meal, he always walks on the outside of the sidewalk. He also pulls the chair out for you when you sit and showers you with praise.
ā€” Sometimes the praise is simple whispers in your ear because he isnā€™t much into PDA.
ā€” There was never an official wedding, he stole two matching rings and gave one to you.
ā€” Heā€™d like to have an official wedding.
ā€” If he has to worry about the apocalypse heā€™ll probably neglect you only because he thinks the fate of the world is in his hands.
ā€” He loves going on simple dates, whether itā€™s at Griddyā€™s Doughnuts, a simple stroll in the park, or a little painting place.
ā€” Heā€™s fancy but he doesnā€™t see the point in expensive restaurants. He likes the little things.
ā€” He loves to make and paint pottery with you, itā€™s his favourite thing to do.
ā€” When he canā€™t sleep heā€™ll come over to your place and sit on the roof with you.
ā€” If you fall asleep heā€™ll Blink into your room and tuck you in, and heā€™ll even leave a note for you to read when you wake up.
ā€” It usually goes along the lines of..
ā€œYou fell asleep, donā€™t worry I made sure you got back in your room and I picked up all your stuffies from the floor and put them on the bed with you.ā€
ā€” He struggles with insomnia.
ā€” Heā€™ll write you love letters even though itā€™s more convenient to send a text. He loves you and heā€™s willing to put effort in love notes.
ā€” His primary love languages are quality time and acts of service.
ā€” He doesnā€™t show much affection in public.
ā€” He doesnā€™t mind holding your hand though.
ā€” Five wonā€™t be afraid to hold your hand, wrap an arm around your shoulders or waist while heā€™s with his siblings.
ā€” Kisses and hugs are private though.
ā€” Despite being private, he doesnā€™t hide the fact heā€™s dating you.
ā€” If anyone tries anything on you, Five will glare daggers. If thatā€™s not enough, heā€™ll threaten them, and if they keep pushing heā€™ll make them bleed (but not too severe šŸ„°)
ā€” Heā€™s hella protective.
ā€” You make midnight munchies together.
ā€” Heā€™ll refuse to dance with you in the kitchen at 2am but heā€™ll reluctantly say yes and end up actually enjoying it.
ā€” Same goes for dancing in the rain. He pretends to hate it but he loves it and you know he does.
ā€” You always make pasta or noodles for midnight munchies.
ā€” One time you made cookies and accidentally woke up Klaus who ate the cookie dough before you got to put it in the oven.
ā€” When you guys had sex for the first time Klaus congratulated you and Five with a cake that said ā€˜virginā€™ in the middle of a šŸš« and woke you up the next day with confetti.
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ā€” sorry, i know i said iā€™d have a part three to my ben hargreeves fic but i wrote it and didnā€™t edit it.. and it didnā€™t seem entertaining enough to post, iā€™m sorry.
ā€” if you want headcanons with the apocalypse involved, let me know <3
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reilemon Ā· 6 months ago
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šŸ«§Love Don't Be ShyšŸ«§
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ā™”ļøŽ pairing: Rafayel x fem!reader
ļ½”Ā°āš ļøŽĀ°ļ½”MINORS DNI (18+ ONLY)ļ½”Ā°āš ļøŽĀ°ļ½”
ā™”ļøŽcw:unprotected sex (as always), there's only one bed, sex toys, pulling out
ā™”ļøŽword count: 2.9k
ā™”ļøŽsynopsis: Rafayel finds your mini "neck massager" while going through your makeup bag.
ā™”ļøŽa/n: I hope you guys like how I wrote Rafayel.
ā™”ļøŽ special thanks to my beta reader ā™”ļøŽ@its-deā™”ļøŽ for reading and helping me with this
banner by @cafekitsune
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A defeated sigh leaves your lips. You have to share the bed with your friend (employee?) Rafayel. You just nod when Rafayel checks with you if it's okay, and of course you agree because you don't want to go around searching for another hotel.
The last time you had to share a room, and the bed, you barely got any sleep as he was tossing and turning all night, stealing the duvet in consequence. You couldn't be too mad at him as you know how messed up his sleep schedule is. Also, he was so sweet for remembering your comment how you wished to see a certain spot at that place.
This time is no different; he organized this little trip for you to make good use of your vacation days. He researched all the restaurants that you'd like, shops that he'd like, fun and interesting places to visit, and always takes the best seats in the airplane. But he always forgets to book two rooms in advance!
It's not that bad, you tell yourself. You're very comfortable around Rafayel; he makes you feel safe and he adores spending time with you. It's just that you have your own night routine. And you can't do it with him in the same room.
Oh well, the vacation will fly by quickly.
Even with this little inconvenience, you wish it won't. Not because you don't want to get back to work, but because you also adore spending time with him. And lately, with every meeting you hope to become more than just friends (more than just an artist and his bodyguard).
ā‹† Ėšļ½”ā‹†ź’°įƒ šŸŖ¼ ą»’ź’±ā‹† Ėšļ½”ā‹†
After unpacking Rafayel and you go outside to grab a quick bite at the city centre. Of course that turns into an impromptu shopping spree because the two of you stumbled upon a vintage flea market.
You drag your feet as Rafayel almost skips next to you, bags with little trinkets in his hands. It's a beautiful summer afternoon, with a refreshing breeze. You'd enjoy it more if there weren't so many people around.
He glances at your 'energetic' walk. "C'mon Miss Bodyguard, we had a good time there!"
You chuckle. "Sure, if you can call 'talking you out of buying everything you see' a good time."
"But everything was so beautiful!"
"Yes, but think of the luggage!"
He shifts his bags to one hand and offers you the free one with a soft smile. "Give me your hand. I don't want to get lost."
He says that, but he's the one leading you through the crowd.
ā‹† Ėšļ½”ā‹†ź’°įƒ šŸŖ¼ ą»’ź’±ā‹† Ėšļ½”ā‹†
You had to take a little nap after coming back to your room, because Rafayel had more things planned for this evening, and you needed the energy. You wanted to look and feel good because you actually looked forward to it. You might've even bought some new outfits that you thought he'd like, even though he gives you compliments no matter how much effort you put into your appearance.
While you were asleep, Rafayel took a long shower.
When you awoke, you found him in your room with nothing but a towel wrapped around his hips.
You blush and avert your gaze, opting to just not comment on it. "Are you at least wearing underwear?" You commented on it.
He looks down, like he forgot about his state of almost-undress. "I do. Wanna check?" His hand resting on the towel knot.
Your hand immediately shoots up to cover your view of whatever he's about to show you. "It's fine! I just didn't expect this to be the first thing I see after a nap!"
He laughs and strolls towards the closet. "You saw me in a bathing suit plenty of times. This towel covers more."
You can't help but sneak a peek at his toned back while he's picking out an outfit. For someone who claims to hate working out, he's more than fit. You can clearly see the way his muscles are carved under his pale still damp skin and the way they flex as he moves. As he turns around, you canā€™t help but crave to graze your hand over his defined abs and those veins leading down to -
"Like what you see?"
Caught red handed, you snap your head in the opposite direction, your face burning with embarrassment.
"I'll go take a shower." You mumble as you snatch your underwear and a nightdress from a drawer and escape to the bathroom, blushing even more as you catch Rafayel's mischievous laugh.
ā‹† Ėšļ½”ā‹†ź’°įƒ šŸŖ¼ ą»’ź’±ā‹† Ėšļ½”ā‹†
Refreshed, and not at all embarrassed anymore, you emerge from the bathroom to get your makeup bag. You don't know whether to put the outfit on before the makeup, or the other way around...
Your brain short circuits when your eyes land on Rafayel holding your makeup bag in one hand - and your mini vibrator in the other.
He holds it up and studies it "Is this like a mini neck massager?"
You're frozen in place. Your body is discovering new levels of embarrassment.
Hearing nothing from you, his attention shifts to your figure. You don't register the way his eyes admire you in your little nightdress. "Well?" He presses the little button and the little buzzing sound hits your ears like crashing waves of sweat hitting your body.
He's teasing you. He has got to be teasing you. Like he always is. There's no way he thinks this is for his neck!
"Give it back." You croak, your throat dry.
"Why? You don't want to show me how to use it?" He's really going through with this little bit.
"Why were you even going through my makeup bag?"
He explains how he forgot to pack some cream and wanted to borrow it from you, or something like that, you barely listened because he was not letting go of the little bullet vibrator. He's put down the makeup bag, but not the toy!
The buzzing gets stronger as Rafayel's finger presses the button multiple times. "So, which setting is the best?"
He flinches as you basically hurl yourself towards him to take back what's yours. He holds it in the air, away from your reach.
"What's up with you?" his eyebrows knot, cheeks lightly red at the close proximity.
"Give it back!"
Finding your frustration confusing but at the same time cute and amusing, he continues to keep it out of your reach, letting you chase him around the room.
"Nuh - uh!" he laughs and turns to you, only for his face to be met with a white fluffy pillow.
You smacked him across the face, not too hard of course; you're still his body guard. You earn a little 'hey!' with a flushed face and to defend himself, he puts the toy in his pocket and grabs his own pillow. You didn't even notice how good his outfit looked.
The two of you end up in a brief pillow fight - mostly him taking hits while you managed to dodge most of them. But then Rafayel swiftly snatches your pillow, and pins you down on the bed, holding your wrists in his hand and resting his knees on the bed.
He asks, out of breath "Is it not a neck massager?" While you were in a pillow fight he caught on how red your face is and how that shape doesn't seem like it's for the neck.
You struggle under him, aware of how your nightdress lifted under the impact, and how your breasts are on the verge of spilling out. A small whine leaves your lips in frustration as he's so much stronger than you.
"Yes! It's my vibrator, okay?" you can't meet his gaze. You're sure you look so damn pathetic right now.
But you don't see the delight in Rafayel's eyes as he takes in your cute flushed pouting face. He can't help but take a peek of your figure under him, the way your tits are barely covered, the hem of your dress lifted to show off your plush thighs pressed together.
He releases his hold on you and sits back, still straddling you. "Is that why you were upset over one room? You could've just told me and I would've taken a walk or something. Maybe even get you a snack to replenish your energy."
You could not be more mortified. Your eyes are still fixed somewhere to the side and your lips don't move.
His fingers softly hold your chin and you muster the courage to look him in the eyes. You notice how messy his curls are. "There's nothing to be ashamed of." He reassures you with a soft smile, and hands you over the wretched thing.
And you loved that about Rafayel - he knew when to stop teasing and when it's time to give you reassurance.
Still, you needed your little revenge.
It doesn't matter that he's stronger than you, you still have your hunter skills, and in a blink of an eye, you switch positions, straddling his lap.
He opens his mouth to make some dirty joke but only a yelp gets out when you suddenly press the buzzing toy on his side while locking his wrists with your hand.
He pleads for mercy as you continue to run the vibrator on second to highest setting all over his torso.
A blush creeps up on your cheeks, and heat pools between your legs as his whimpers and gasps keep leaving his plump lips and his body squirms under you, his crotch grazing your bottom.
Flustered and out of breath, Rafayel had enough of the torture and pins you down again - pressing you in the same position you had him in, but with his knee so dangerously close to your clothed heat.
"You're being cruel, kitten." he breathes, his tone a little too calm for your liking.
He takes the toy from you and starts sliding it down the middle of your belly, the contact making you squirm and laugh a little. "I was being supportive here and you go and start torturing me."
"I was embarrassed!" you scream between laughs and pants.
He complains in his playful manner about how you attacked him while he was so confused, you can barely hear him over your involuntarily laughs. In your squirms and attempts to break free, your core grinds more than once against his knee and upper thigh.
And maybe he's inching his knee closer to you.
You open your eyes when you don't feel the tickles anymore. You're met with his soft hooded eyes.
"I want to make it up to you, darling."
He studies your face as his hand moves up and a gasp leaves your lips as it lightly grazes the underside of your breast over with the vibrating toy.
He repeats the same motion on the other breast. "Do you want me to stop?"
You sheepishly shake your head.
The grip on your wrists loosens, but you let him hold you down.
Finally, he gives attention to your already pebbled nipples, carefully rubbing circles around them. His eyes take in your flushed face - beautiful lips parted as you pant underneath him, eyes veiled with lust and desperation for more, sensitive nipples poking through the thin fabric of your nightdress.
Your panties are damp with the attention on your nipples and core grinding against his knee. And with Rafayel on top of you, with his cheeks flushed, messy hair and half lidded eyes gazing at you with adoration, you crave more.
He doesn't need to read your thoughts to know what you need. Your hips are desperately pressing against him, soaked panties leaving a wet patch on his pants.
A playful smirk stretches his lips, but he fights the urge to tease you. Instead, his hand trails down, avoiding your tummy this time, and presses the toy on your inner thigh, earning a jolt from your legs and a whimper from your lips. With his slender fingers, he lifts up the hem of your dress, exposing your panties.
You feel his knee move back, but still touching your clothed heat. Pressing the button for the lowest setting, he places the vibrating tip of the toy right between your folds, the familiar sensation of the vibrator making you moan. Only it's different now, because Rafayel is the one pressing it against you, the one making you feel so good, which makes you cream, your heart beating against your chest, your face and chest burning with need and desire.
With more confidence, Rafayel starts pressing and slowly rubbing your sensitive bud. "You like that princess? Does it feel good?"
You frantically nod, your pussy already throbbing with an impending orgasm. "Just like that!" You manage to breathe out.
His cock is painfully hard in his boxers, straining in his tight pants. He feels like he could cum just watching your beautiful face dazed with lust and listening to your sinful moans. Soft pants are leaving his lips "Fuck, you're so beautiful."
He releases your wrists to rest his elbow next to your head and he dips down, latching his lips with yours. You reciprocate immediately, wrapping your arms around his neck, relishing in the feeling of finally tasting his gorgeous pink lips.
Both of you are a panting mess, kissing sloppily, saliva dripping from the corners of your mouth as your tongue intertwines with his.
And all of this is becoming too much for you, and you already feel the coil in your stomach is about to snap any second. You snatch the collar of his shirt, probably ripping from how tight you're gripping it. "Don't stop, I'm cummin' - !"
He watches you in awe as you tremble and mewl underneath him, unable to kiss him back as the waves of your release overtake you. His lips latch onto your neck as he uses his thumb and knee to help you come down from your high. His breath is trembling as he sucks and licks the sensitive skin on your neck, his face burning and cock throbbing.
He almost whines in your ear "Please, please princess, I need to fuck you so bad..."
Your fingers interlace with his messy curls and he lifts up his head to meet your eyes. His cheeks and ears are burning red, eyes pleading and hooded with lust.
You softly whisper "I need you."
The same second he hears those words, his working hand frantically works his belt and the pants, a sigh of relief leaving his lips as his hot leaking cock is freed. He wants to take his sweet time with you, worshipping you, but he's already on the brink.
And you're so impatient; you pull your panties to the side and take his cock in your hand and tease the tip against your dripping pussy, the action making the man above you whimper.
"Fuck, princess!" He moves your hand away and squeezes the angry red tip. "Watching you got me so worked up, I don't think I'm gonna last long." He admits with a weak smile.
You pull him into a soft kiss "That's okay, you already made me cum so hard."
He kisses your lips and slowly starts sliding in, a gasp leaving both of your lips. He rests his forehead against yours, eyes squeezed shut as he eases into your sopping cunt.
You bite his delicious bottom lip as he buries himself to the hilt, your walls fluttering around his cock and you feel like you're about to cum again. You release his bottom lip and you move onto kissing his jaw and neck. Fuck, he smells so good.
He stays still as he tries to hold onto his sanity. His hot breath fans over your ear "You're squeezing me so hard, doll."
You wiggle your hips and press his lower back, urging him to start moving. Exhaling a shaky breath, his hips slowly start rolling, yours moving at the same pace. Mewls and moans are leaving your lips, as his cock keeps stroking the sweet spot inside you, glazing his length in your slick.
Rafayel needs to make you cum around his cock, but heā€™s already so painfully close, with your wet walls squeezing him so hard, your pretty lips on his neck and your bewitching voice in his ear.
He was so captivated by you that he almost forgot about the little toy lying next to you.
Your eyes widen when you see him snatch the toy and turns it on to a higher setting and props himself up, angling his hips to reach your swollen and twitching bundle of nerves. Intense shocks of pleasure take over your body as he starts rubbing the vibrator again, and in seconds you're a whimpering mess as his cock thrusts into you, repeatedly hitting that sensitive spot, and his hand pressing the toy on your clit.
"Raf - I -" Is all you manage to say before another orgasm overtakes you, your breath catching in your throat and for a second you think you're going to pass out. You can barely hear Rafayel's soothing and strained whispers of you how gorgeous you are and how pretty you sound.
But hear him whimper "I'm gonna cum, princess."
He tosses the drenched vibrator to the side and with a squelching sound pulls out of you, and your hips twitch as he presses the tip against your still throbbing clit as he jerks himself off, ropes of hot cum spilling all over your belly and drenched cunt. Youā€™re thankful he pulled up your dress in the process, but you wouldnā€™t mind if he stained it.
After both of you take a moment to catch your breath, he puts his weight on you and you wrap your arms around his back squeezing him tight.
He peppers you with soft kisses all over your cheeks, your nose, your eyelids. His fingers caress your face.
He chuckles with that playful smirk on his lips. "I should snoop around your stuff more often."
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norrizzandpia Ā· 5 months ago
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Heyyy ages ago when you wrote "She's missed you" you mentioned you would write about reader being close to Oscar's family and taking his sister's for coffee, would you consider writing something like that please I'd love to read it
This has been in my inbox for some time but i remember when i first got it going, ā€œFINALLY SOMEONE ASKED ME TO DO THISā€ I absolutely love this idea i just didnā€™t know if that was something yall wanted to see!!
Y/n and the Piastri Sisters, the Piastri Sisters and Y/n
Summary: Oscar knew that Y/n and his sisters were close, but to wake up on a Saturday morning to find all of them gone, he wonders if he really underestimated how much the girls loved each otherā€™s company.
Warnings: none, absolute FLUFF, cutest thing i think ive ever written lowkey, yn and Oscar being relationship GOALS (i want what they have), one remark about Oscar wanting to plan their wedding
What Oscar expects when he wakes is Y/nā€™s head shoved into the crook of his neck, breathing deeply as she slept. Heā€™s always the one to wake up and, while he used to hate that when sleeping at his friendsā€™ houses, he learned to cherish it. Cherish it because it gave him the opportunity to admire the beauty of his girlfriend when she wouldnā€™t see and blush whilst pushing him away. The soft dip at the top of her lip, the freckles around her nose, and the strands of her hair splayed across his pillow were all things he loved to stare at when he got the privilege of waking up before her. Yet, to his dismay, this morning when his eyes fluttered open, his girlfriend is nowhere to be found.
Frowning, he rises from the bed and looks around. Her clothes from last night are still flung over his desk chair, but her purse, the black bag that was right beside the clothing just hours before, is gone. His confused expression deepens and he moves to the bathroom, finding the door closed. He assumes sheā€™s in there, maybe having brought her purse in because she had gotten her period and needed the tampons from it. However, that idea soon falls apart when he remembers the basket heā€™d set up underneath his sink with everything she could possibly need if she ever were to get it whilst at his house. And he knows thereā€™s no way she has it seeing as two weeks ago she had pushed him away when he was trying to haveā€¦ fun and told him it would be too messy.
Plus, the bathroom is weirdly silent and when he knocks on the door, ā€œBaby?ā€, nobody answers. It creaks as he pushes it open and the small room is completely empty. Void of his girl.
The image of Oscar Piastri, in only his boxers, standing in the midst of his bathroom with knotted eyebrows and his arms stretched out at his side with his palms facing up would make anyone chuckle. Heā€™s so genuinely lost at the lack of Y/n and itā€™s written all over him. From the way his eyes dart from the bed, maybe he had somehow missed her, to the door, itā€™s clear heā€™s trying to figure it all out in his head.
Finally, he comes to realize that the only logical explanation is that sheā€™s downstairs or somewhere else in the house. So, his body takes him to the hallway outside. No Y/n. Then, he walks down to the kitchen and living room. No Y/n. Maybe the dining room? Nope.
Where the hell is Y/n?
He remembers a time when he was having trouble locating the girl and had only found her because her giggling had echoed throughout the whole house. That time, she had been with his sister in her room. Oscar loves how close his three sisters and Y/n are, but it makes him groan in annoyance when they steal his moments alone with her.
He goes to Hadieā€™s room first, but he finds it empty. Weird. Usually, the girl sleeps in late and, if not, sheā€™s almost always in there.
Then, itā€™s Maeā€™s and he finds the same thing. Completely empty.
Lastly is Edie and heā€™s partially not surprised to find itā€™s empty as well.
Now, heā€™s wondering where his sisters are.
ā€œMom?!ā€ He yells into the house, hoping his mother can alert him on where the majority of the women in his life have gone to.
He hears soft steps before his motherā€™s face appears at the bottom of the stairs, ā€œYes, love?ā€
Oscar patters down to her, looking completely helpless and lost. She frowns at him, noting her sonā€™s lack of enthusiasm.
He huffs like a disgruntled toddler before whining, ā€œWhereā€™s Y/n? Or Hadie? Or Edie? Or Mae? I canā€™t find Y/n and when I went to look for her, I found all of them gone.ā€
Nicole chuckles before patting his shoulder lovingly, ā€œThey all went out to get Starbucks around thirty minutes ago.ā€
His head rears back, ā€œWhat? Why? Why wasnā€™t I invited?ā€
Nicole smiles softly before turning around to walk into the kitchen. Oscar follows her closely behind, waiting for her answer, but she takes her time as she cleans dishes from, what he can assume, was her breakfast earlier.
Her hands wet and soapy, she lets her eyes drift to him, ā€œThey wanted girl time and Y/n didnā€™t want to wake you. She knew you were exhausted from the triple-header. She told me if you woke up running around the house and looking for her to tell you theyā€™d be back soon and with coffee for you.ā€
He softens at that. How well she knows him always melts his heart. The exhaustion from all the races and the sleep he craved, she knew all too well. His coffee order, which he was confident she would get right, was something she had already thought of from the beginning of this escapade. The way she knew he would be slightly panicked, wanting her for their slow morning together, made him feel seen randomly. As she always says, to be loved is to be seen.
Still, heā€™s a bit disappointed he didnā€™t get to spend a morning with his sisters and his girlfriend. His mother must see this on his face because she shuts off the water and lays a hand over his.
ā€œYou know, itā€™s okay to feel left out, but you should also know that Iā€™ve never seen any prior girlfriend of yours this close with your sisters. They look up to her and when she started reaching out, asking if they wanted to play games or go out and do something together, their eyes lit up. Youā€™re entitled to want to be with them this morning, but promise me youā€™ll acknowledge the effort Y/n continuously puts in to bond with the girls youā€™ve always wanted to protect.ā€ She states softly. Her eyes lock with Oscarā€™s and she recognizes the understanding in them, the sudden realization. Maybe he hadnā€™t picked up on how hard Y/n had been trying, but Nicole definitely had. She saw the way Y/n always brought up topics of conversation the sisters could relate to, the way she always listened to their every word, and the way she learned their interests before using those things to bond. Nicole will never forget Mae telling Y/n about a book she had read only for Y/n to come back a week later saying she had read the book and couldnā€™t wait to talk about it with Mae.
Nobody was really interested in reading in the Piastri family the way Mae was. But, now, there was Y/n.
Oscar nods, ā€œI guess it never really dawned on me how close Y/n was to them, but I see it now. If theyā€™re comfortable enough to be hanging out alone, without me, then I guess theyā€™re further along than I thought.ā€
ā€œYou shouldā€™ve heard them leaving this morning. The amount of laughter leaving the door was the cutest. Not to mention the way they joked about having to fear for their life while Y/n drove and Y/n responding about turning into you. The girls have never sounded that excited.ā€ Nicoleā€™s smile is big. Oscar knows itā€™s because she always wanted a bigger sister the close-in-age sisters could have to guide them. He loves that his mother believes that to be Y/n.
A moment of silence passes before Oscar asks, ā€œHowā€™d this end up happening? I know they didnā€™t talk about going out this morning last night when Y/n got here. I know because I was with her the majority of the night. Did the girls wake up and ask her? Did they come into our room?ā€
Nicole shakes her head quickly, ā€œNo,ā€ She laughs, ā€œIt was Y/n. Y/n set an alarm to wake herself up, I know because I heard it, and then surprised them all by waking them up from their beds and rambling about getting coffee in their pajamas. It was all her. I assume sheā€™d been planning it since yesterday, but just forgot to tell you. When you went to the bathroom last night, she turned to me and asked if the girls had any plans in the morning. When I told her no, she just nodded her head with a smile and turned away.ā€
Oscar feels as though he could start planning the Y/l/n-Piastri wedding right then and there. To know sheā€™s gone out of her way to get to know his siblings, someone she knows he loves so dearly, gives him confirmation Y/n and him are together for the long haul. Nobody has ever nurtured a relationship with his sisters this heavily before. He falls in love with her more because of it.
Just as heā€™s about to speak, the front door flies open and roars of laughter flood through. He smiles to himself before turning around to see his girlfriend in the midst of all the sisterly chaos. His eyes land on her first, seeing her looking at Hadie with a smile on her face. Heā€™s not sure what Hadieā€™s done, but it seems to be the funniest thing sheā€™s ever experienced with the way sheā€™s almost doubled over in laughter. Edie stands next to her, but when some of her coffee spills out and onto the floor, all four girls almost fall to the floor, borderline wheezing. The laughter is infectious and Oscar finds himself joining in. He can only imagine the kind of heart eyes he must be sporting right now.
His steps take him closer to the girls and when Hadie sees him, her face contorts, ā€œUgh, not you. Youā€™ve come to take her away!ā€
All his sisters nod as they cross their arms over their chests, mischievous grins on their faces. He only shakes his head, smiling at them too.
ā€œItā€™s only fair, Iā€™m afraid.ā€ Y/n begins as she walks toward him. He pulls her into him by the waist and she smiles, kissing him on the cheek, before handing him his coffee, his order completely right. ā€œYou guys got me all morning and, not to mention, all last week when he was gone. Iā€™ve got to tend to my girlfriend duties now.ā€
The sisters nod their heads slowly, begrudgingly. Oscar laughs at the fact that they most likely wish he didnā€™t exist so they could have Y/n all to themselves. Ironically, he adores that.
ā€œYou guys hung out all last week?ā€ He asks when Y/nā€™s previous statement catch up to him.
They look at him as if itā€™s obvious. ā€œYeah,ā€ Y/n says as he continues to hold her against him, ā€œWho do you think convinced them to get matching pajamas?ā€
Itā€™s only then that Oscar clocks the matching sets his girlfriends and sisters are all sharing. His mouth falls open and his cheeks redden. Heā€™s not exactly sure why he blushes, but he thinks itā€™s because he canā€™t believe how lucky heā€™s gotten to have a girl like Y/n fall in love with him.
When all four girls start rambling, at first to him but then to each other, about how much they love their matching pajamas, Oscar feels eyes on him. His head moves to the side and he finds his mother peering her head around the corner to admire the scene in the doorway.
If the way his mother and sisters all look at Y/n tells him anything, itā€™s that they will not be letting her go for a while. Neither will he, though.
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