#i wrote this in two hours at 7am on thanksgiving

[scary-lasagna]

For context, before Jane came to the manor, she worked shortly for Zalgo in exchange for getting a promised vengeance on Jeff. After a year, he traded Jane for a pricey artifact that Slender had, but set her up for collecting intel towards the unsettlement between Slender and him.

And present-day she's been living happily at the manor.

Also this isn't a ship thing don't worry.

____

Sum:

Jane has a dilemma and meets an unlikely ally to talk things through.

____

Not Friends [Jane & Jeff]

"What are you doing?"

Jane froze in her footsteps, taking pressure off of the main hallway's creaking floorboard. She straightened up, pulling her backpack tighter against her back, and slowly turned towards Jeff.

"Why the Hell do you care?" She snapped, furrowing her nearly plucked brows and she looked him up and down. It was late, and she thought no one was up by the time that grandfather clock reached 3:30. Everyone was usually in their rooms, if not asleep, and Slender didn't get up for another hour.

But of course it had to be Jeff. Out of all the fucking people in this damned place, Jeff had to be the one to catch her.

"Well," Jeff glanced down at his toes peeking out from his flannel pants. "Usually when someone is sneaking out this late, they're not really up to any good."

Now she was growing frustrated. Jane has always had a short fuse with Jeff. A very short one, at that. The truce that they agreed to practically didn't exist except promising not to rip each other's heads off.

"Again, why. do. you. care."

"You're going back to Zalgo, aren't you?"

The silence was so thick Jane could cut it like butter with the knife strapped to her thigh. She looked away and sighed irritably. "Is your skull that thick that I have to fucking spell it out for you?"

"You didn't answer my question."

"Answer mine first, you bastard."

Jeff blinked, and glanced behind him at the creaks of the settling stairway. "You didn't say goodbye."

Jane scoffed in disbelief. The fucking audacity if him. "You don't deserve a goodbye after what you've-"

Jeff chuckled with a nod, "I know. I wasn't talking about me."

Jane huffed, and ignored Jeff as he trailed behind her to the door. "I can see it now...Toby will come down for breakfast later, and make that stupid little face as he wonders where you are. He might even stay there, alone, wondering where you are hours after you've left."

Her hand froze halfway to the curved arm of the door. Oh, poor Toby. When he had no one else to trust, Jane was the arms that he cried into as she soothed his shaking shoulders. And she's looked after him ever since. Bless his heart, he was always so excited to see her and show her the new things he bought for himself and work.

"And Sally...no longer having an older sister to share her tea parties with. I guess I'll just have to put Ben in a wig..." Jeff tsked in disappointment.

Jane's shoulders started to slump. Of course, Toby would be heartbroken, but at least he had friends to fall back on. Sally didn't have many that she looks up to like Jane. She was her adopted older sister, and she'd be heartbroken without a simple goodbye hug.

Jeff dared to shuffle closer, feet creaking the wood as he approached Jane. "And Slender? Who's he gonna complain to that'll tolerate hours of conversation about the jackassery I do?"

Jane's hand fell back to her side. She didn't have many friends when she first came to the manor, and despite working for the enemy, Slender welcomed her with open arms and let her rant for hours about Jeff and what he's done to piss her off that day. And sometimes he'd do the same over a nice cup of afternoon tea.

He'd be distraught if she just left without warning. Like a piece of his heart was ripped out along with her absence.

"And I know what he told you, Jane. To gather Intel and not get too attached, cause that's what spies do, right? So everything I said earlier, was that fake?"

"I'm not a spy." Jane turned and narrowed her eyes, scanning his cheshire face for any look of mockery or disdain. Ultimately, it was nothing but a depressed fondness that plagued his expression. A pang in her heart hit her like a silver bullet

"Yeah, you are. I saw it in your file when I was snooping around Slender's office. He knew since the beginning." He said it so casually. As if the sky was blue. How long had he known? How long has Slender known?

Taken back, Jane scoffed in disbelief. "Bullshit."

The killer chuckled, "Well you can ask him, he'll be waking up in a little bit." Jane wasn't going to fucking ask him. She wasn't going to do anything Jeff says. She's not a spy, she's an Intel Collector for Zalgo, and that was the contract that she signed. If Jeff didn't like it, that's his problem to deal with.

And if Slender was aware of it, then he's a damn fool for making her a part of this little family he's got going on.

"I don't have to listen to this-"

"You didn't have to listen to anything I had to say, and yet here you are. You can't even touch the door handle, Jane."

When Jane's shoulders started to tremble, and she brought a hand up to catch her unsteady lips, Jeff took a step closer. "You don't wanna go, do you? That's why you didn't say goodbye. It's too painful, yeah?"

Jane nodded slowly, sobbing quietly before Jeff placed a hand in her shoulder. It took him back when she suddenly buried her teary face into his shirt, but Jeff reluctantly wrapped an arm around her and attempted to soothe her sobs for a few moments.

Never in her life had Jane thought that she'd be soothed by the one she absolutely loathes. And yet, Jeff gave a pretty good hug when she needs it most.

"I just love you guys so fucking much," Jane sniffled and stood up straight, almost clipping Jeff's chin, and dabbed at her streaking eyeliner, "I don't wanna go back to him, I wanna stay here with all of you. Because for the first time since you fucked me over, I feel at peace, I feel like this is my home." Struggling to make sense through her sobs and sniffles, she hoped that Jeff could at least sympathize with an enemy, and nonetheless a traitor to this tight-knit family.

It was a rare occurrence that Jane cried. She always tried to suppress her emotions, her sadness, around everyone, and especially Jeff. She didn't want him to see her weak.

And yet here she is, crying and sniffling like a child who doesn't want to take an afternoon nap in front of the person she hates most.

"Then stay." Jeff placed a firm hand in her arm, squeezing it reassuringly. "Stay here with us. We'll figure something out with Zalgo I can promise you that, but don't leave. Please."

Jane looked at Jeff, and for the first time meeting those bluish-grey eyes of his, she didn't feel total resentment towards him. He seemed more human, and less of a monster than she thought he was.

Jane glanced behind her at the door before sighing and dropping her backpack to the floor. Due to the clatter, it was probably full to the brim with her knife collection, meaning she left everything else back in her room.

"C'mon, I'll walk you back to your room. Or we can stay up and talk if you want." Jeff couldn't hold back the grunt as he struggled to pick up the extremely heavy backpack, and wobbled with it as he followed Jane.

Jeff was astonished that no one passive-aggressively peeked out of their room as he thumped the backpack up the stairs, lifting with his knees and not his back. They passed the rooms of Ben, and Toby, and Tim, and Sally, and the large doors of the master bedroom that Slender was getting ready in.

Jeff was already thinking of 10 different excuses if Slender decided to check on them as Jane paused in front of her room. She took the backpack with ease and set it against her matte black door.

She paused, glancing down at the bag and then at Jeff's probably cold feet, and then her own work boots.

"I'll, uh- see you later then. Hopefully." Jeff nodded an adieu, and turned on his heel. Jane was walking without even realizing it, and called out to him.

Jeff turned, and cocked an eyebrow towards her.

"Um, thank you. For...um..." Jane looked to the side as she gestured with her hands, trying to search for the right words. Stopping her from potentially killing everyone by delivering Intel to a demon king? Carrying her entire knife and painted rock collection up to two flights of stairs? "...This."

"Yeah, yeah don't mention it, twerp." Jeff waved her off as he turned again. "This doesn't mean we're friends, by the way. I'm still expecting to kick your ass during training on Monday." Jeff flashed a grin over his shoulder. A small attempt to make her feel a little better with a sense of normalcy.

"In your fucking dreams, bozo." Jane scoffed and turned, hopping up to grab the key on top of the door frame and hopefully take a long nap and pretend this never happened.

_____

"Jeff? What are you doing up so early?" Jeff turned, and glanced past Slender to see Jane fucking around with the locked door. A mistake, because Slender followed his gaze, and then suspiciously glared back at Jeff.

"Ahh, I just stole Jane's knife collection and locked her out of her room." He shrugged, the lie falling off of his tongue like smooth butter. "'Thought I'd keep her on her toes before the sparring."

Slender sighed and rubbed his temples, "Leave that poor girl alone, Jeff, she has enough going on without you disturbing her much-needed sleep."

"Pffft, she'll be fine." He waved the eldritch being off, "She'll have plenty of rest to kick my ass."

"One can only hope with everything that she has on her plate." Slender crossed his arms, and used his special scolding tone to dull any other ideas Jeff may have planned toward the dismay of Jane. "Don't bother her anymore, Jeff. I'm very serious."

Jeff nodded dismissively, unbothered by the familiar tone he's so used to hearing, before he yawned and stretched tiredly. With one final glance at Jane finally getting into her room, Jeff excused himself, "Now, if you'll excuse me, old man, I gotta get my ass back to bed."

[mylifewithanalcoholic]

December 29th, 2018

Merry belated Christmas everybody. These past few days have been pretty bizarre to the say the least. An update from last time, I still haven’t talked to my dad and I am actually content with it. It’s sad, but at the same time I don’t mind. On Christmas morning, my dad left the house at 7am. Naturally, I was up that early because it was Christmas. I thought he went to the store because he normally does on Christmas and comes back. But as the day went on, he never came home. Never even called. I know, horrible right? But honestly, i’m not surprised. He abandons us every other day of the year, why would it be a shock on Christmas? Honestly, I was extremely happy he wasn’t home. It was the most peaceful Christmas in years. It truly was a Christmas miracle. If you’re wondering where he went, it was our shore house, which is an hour and half away from our home. We know this because we have cameras there and we saw it. It’s just pathetic that he didn’t tell us, but on the other hand it’s all apart of his game. He wants to isolate and abandon us so we wonder where he went so we would call him. He wants us to worry about him. He wants to feel sorry for himself. We never called, because we knew thats what he wanted. He wants to fight and get a rise out of us. On fucking Christmas. Glad to say his plan failed. He keeps successively pushing us away, thats for sure. We still haven’t seen or spoke to him and I don’t intend to. He is playing head games and I already know what he’ll say “You didn’t want me there anyways!” and make me somehow feel guilty for not speaking to him for over a month because of what he did that night I first wrote about. He’s a narcissistic alcoholic that has no plans to change. So I have to. 

Another wild thing that is sorta related to all this is my Uncle. He lives is Florida and has also been fighting alcoholism for the majority of his life. He was sober for 8 years, until recently. He got laid off from his job and now he is just spiraling out of control.  He started drinking the day after Thanksgiving (so he says) and then got detoxed and was sober for about a week or two until he started drinking again a few days before Christmas. On Christmas, my entire family and I all texted him ‘Merry Christmas’, but no answer. My Mom must have called him 12 times and still no answer. Just another fucking alcoholic messing with us on Christmas. He eventually answered later that night claiming “his phone was acting up”. But we all new that was bullshit and he was drinking again. The next few days my mom tried to get a hold of him, but nothing, until yesterday. He confessed he’s been drinking again and can’t do anything because he’s drunk. My Mom tried to talk some sense into him, but it’s ultimately up to him to do the work himself. Today, my mom tried calling him, but again: nothing. Hours later I found my mom crying out of worry. She is over 1,000 miles away from him and has no idea if he’s even alive. A few hours later, we got a call from his landlord. He told us that he’s been trying everything possible to get my Uncle out of his house, even invited him over for Christmas dinner, but nothing. He finally called the police to do a wellness check and they found my uncle in his bed, drunk out of his mind. The landlord kicked him out and sent him to rehab. But this time, his landlord isn’t letting him come back like he has in the past. Right now, I just feel horrible for my mom. Even though my mom is sober herself, this disease still follows her everywhere within this family. I just wish alcoholism would stop affecting us. I just wish I could take this pain and worry away. But I cant. There’s nothing I can do but pray for guidance and remind my mom of how strong she is. She is my Hero.